#an experiment and she just doesn’t want the albert she knows and love to go. she will stand by his side. she will follow through with the | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ellieswaifu · 2 years

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WAITTTT YOU’RE WRITING FOR JILL???? ;))) may i request the aftermath of re5 when jill finally comes back to f!reader after being controlled by wesker pls!! angst and fluff hehe u can make it spicy too if u wanna

home is where you are.

summary. months after returning from africa and constant rehab and lab tests, jill is home, feeling insecure and grieving about the past. but you’re there to help her. ┆masterlist

content warnings. jill valentine x f!reader; angst, light fluff, implied smut!, jill needs therapy :(

word count. 1.9k+

a/n. i miss jill like she rlly needs to come back now; shes literally been missing from the timeline since 2009. i’m tired of seeing leon and chris lmfaoo jill and claire game when

the water is cold, cascading down jill’s pale skin as she stares at down at her bare feet, watching as a few drops of her blood fall into the flowing water. her hand rests on the clear tile wall just in front of her, listening carefully to the sound of the shower above her head and the constant drips of water, pitter-pattering onto the floor. her chest hurts just as it has been for the last three years ever since she underwent a series of constant, immoral experiments against her will that was led by none other than her former captain, albert wesker.

she despised him. no. even that was an understatement. she wanted to kill him and all of umbrella for everything they had done to her, to society, to all of humanity. he had also taken her away from the most important person in her life; you.

in the last three years, jill had always wondered when she was ever going to see you again. she counted the minutes, the hours, the weeks, the months, and the years until she stopped believing she would be free from wesker’s control. it broke her. on top of all the things she had seen, the trauma, the depression. all she wanted was to see you again. to hold you. to kiss you. she didn’t even know if you were alive. but she believed in you. you had to be.

jill’s ears perked up as the door creaks open slightly. after swallowing the lump in her throat, she can’t help but take a small peek past the white shower curtain.

and there you are. still so beautiful just as the last time she laid her eyes on you. your hair was slightly damp from the shower you had taken just before she did and a silk, black robe was wrapped around you, just loose enough for her to see your cleavage. jill bites her bottom lip softly and lets out a breath before continuing to gaze at you as you place a set of clothing down on the lid of the toilet seat.

“hey, i left you some clothes here,” she hears you say. your voice is soft and almost barely loud enough for her to hear. “i’m here if you need anything else.”

and for a moment, jill doesn’t answer. she hides behind the shower curtain and stares at the tiles beneath her feet. she’s different now and she knows this. her hair was no longer the short, brown hair you liked to play with so much, her skin was as pale as snow and right in the middle of her chest was blood dripping from the wounds left behind by the scarab device, surely leaving scars. she doubted herself a little bit. she didn’t feel beautiful. she didn’t feel confident. she was worried about what you thought of her when you looked at her.

“i love you.”

jill pauses. the words that had left your mouth just a second ago somehow lifted some of the weight off of her shoulders, giving her enough courage to call out to you before you could leave the room.

“(y/n)?” she calls.

you stop in your tracks and immediately turn on your heel, walking towards the shower and peeking only a little to see jill’s face.

“hey,” you smile at her and jill felt a her heart warm up and, if she was being completely honest, there were butterflies in her stomach. “do you need help?”

jill shakes her head and just stares at you. you looked at her the same way you did years ago when she told you she was in love with you. the same way you looked at her when she asked you to be her girlfriend. you always seemed to have no trouble throwing all of her worries out the window with just one look at your face.

and your eyes can’t help but travel downwards to her chest, but the naughty intentions evaporate the moment you laid your eyes on her wounds.

“jill! you’re bleeding!” you panicked. it wasn’t bleeding a lot, but it didn’t matter. if there was any way you could stop her from feeling even the slightest discomfort, you’d do it in a heartbeat.

jill stays still, watching the worry fill your face as you take a couple seconds to inspect her injury. she wants to take it away; all of your worries, your pain, and the sadness that filled you while she was gone. and just before you could turn around to leave and grab some medical supplies, jill grabs your wrist, halting your every movement. a gasp escapes your lips when you were suddenly pulled into the shower, your back pressed up against jill’s bare front.

you stand there, frozen still, as the cold water meets the fabric of your robe and your hair, drenching them once again.

“jill, it’s freezing,” you complain with a smile on your face, turning your head to look at her.

instead, all you’re met with is her blonde hair as she lays her forehead against your shoulder, breathing your scent into her nose. her breaths are steady and her arms wrap around your waist tightly, releasing your wrist from her hand. she runs them up and down your sides, feeling your body against hers, in her hands. and it’s everything she could ever ask for.

“jill?”

her name. she always loved the way her name sounded coming out of your mouth. always. you always said it with such care and love and each time, it made her smile. only this time, it felt bittersweet. it felt like it’s been so long since she heard the sound of your voice. while she was away, she kept trying to imagine your voice in her head, repeating things you’ve said to her before, always trying to keep her mental state strong and steady, but it was hard. it was hard not being able to hear you, to see you. and now, finally hearing it constantly, her heart felt relieved; relieved that she came home to you, that she was finally able to hear your voice again, to feel you in her arms.

“hmm,” she hums against your shoulder.

you want to ask her if she’s okay, but you already know the answer to that. she has gone through so much for so long already and all you want to do is be there for her, every step of the way.

“what are you thinking about?” you ask her, caressing the skin on her hands with your thumb as you lean your head back against her own shoulder, careful not to press against her chest too hard.

“i’m thinking about you.”

the corner of your lips tug into a small smile, “what about me?”

“i missed you…” jill whispers, nuzzling into the side of your neck. you smelled of fresh, flowery shampoo and your skin was soft and smooth. jill couldn’t help but place a warm kiss right on your shoulder. “i wasn’t… i couldn’t control my body but, fuck, i was aware of everything… and i couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“jill…”

she kisses you again, lips landing right at the side of your neck, working her way up to the skin right behind your ear, “i thought i’d never see you again. the whole time. i thought that this was it for me. but when i saw chris, i knew that that was my chance. i… i did everything i could. just for a little bit, a second, to be in control for just a second, i… i couldn’t stop thinking about you, (y/n)…”

you take her hands and lift it from your waist slightly, only to turn around slowly to look up at her. jill rests her hands at your waist again, this time pulling you even closer to her, close enough to be able to feel your breath against her skin. you wrap your arms around her neck and brush her wet hair away from her face.

and there’s jill. the same jill you met years ago. the same jill that was terrible at flirting. the same jill who always made time for you despite all the work she had to do. the same jill who loved you and always did and would do everything and anything to protect you. only now, she’s carrying much more weight on her shoulders.

the water running down her face masked the tears on her cheeks, but you saw right through it. you knew from the moment she rested her forehead against your shoulder that she was holding back her tears and the hands that held you tightly around your waist were trembling slightly. and you can’t help but do the same thing. a sob escapes your lips as you lean forward, nestling your face against her neck.

“i missed you so much,” you were barely able to choke out.

jill holds you even tighter while you cry on her bare shoulder. she knows you thought she had died three years ago when chris came back alone without his partner. she knows about how much grief you went through trying to accept the fact that she was gone. if she could, she would do anything to take all of that away from you.

when your sobs die down several minutes later, you lift your head up from her shoulder to take a moment to look at her. you push her blonde hair away from her face once again and you can’t but smile, despite the tears still running down your face.

“do you hate it?” jill asks, squeezing your hips lightly with her hands.

“hate what?”

“my hair.”

you stare at her with a soft smile and shake your head, “i don’t hate it.”

“why?” jill looks down at her hands, the ones down by your hips, ashamed.

“why?” you repeat, watching your girlfriend carefully before continuing to speak. “because as much as it reminds you of what you went through, it’s proof that you survived. these wounds on your chest, it’s proof that you’re alive right now. i do, in fact, hate that bastard wesker for putting you through so much pain… but i love your hair, jill. whether it’s blonde, brown, whatever. it doesn’t change how i feel about you. you’re still the person i fell in love with. everything about you now, just proves to me how strong you are. you were strong enough to come home to me.”

jill lets out a sigh of relief. she was home. every time she’s with you, she felt loved, accepted and cared for. she loved every single thing about it and every single thing about you.

“and i never thought i’d say this, but blonde actually looks really good on you.”

jill chuckles for moment before leaning in and pressing her lips against yours. the kiss was soft and sweet, but jill’s hands were rough, tugging the fabric of your robe, pulling it hard enough so that it comes loose on your shoulders. jill moans into your mouth as she continues to pull your robe off, determined to get it off of you.

you push jill’s shoulders lightly with a teasing smile as you pull away from her lips. it was almost to small to notice, but there was, without a doubt, a pout on jill’s face the moment you stopped kissing her.

“as much as i wanna continue this, valentine,” you pointed to her chest, right where her wounds were, and smirked. “this needs my attention.”

jill returns the smug smile, “only if you keep the robe off… think i need you to be my sexy nurse for tonight.”

a/n. ty for reading! also this is my 69th post and i’m sad to say it isn’t smut - bella :D

#actually jill is missing from the timeline bc she married me and left the fight against bioterrorism behind.#jill valentine x reader #jill valentine imagine #resident evil #resident evil 3 #re5 #re3 #re3 remake #imagines #jill x reader #resident evil smut #chris redfield #albert wesker #icons #jill valentine icons

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denimbex1986 · 3 months

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'The British director on the power of crying and how he crafted his heartbreaking new film, All of Us Strangers.

Andrew Haigh is a veteran of film and television, having directed projects including Weekend, 45 Years, Looking and The North Water. His work is defined by an expert eye for detail and profound sensitivity – in All of Us Strangers, he excavates familial and queer trauma to create a powerful, tender, ghostly romance, starring Andrew Scott, Paul Mescal, Claire Foy and Jamie Bell.

LWLies: Every person I’ve spoken to about All of Us Strangers has had quite an intense emotional reaction to it. How aware of that potential are you when you’re making a film?

Haigh: It’s funny, because I used to get emotional writing the script, and then making a film, there are moments when you feel the emotion that’s coming back at you. I’m a pretty emotional person, I’m constantly crying. But then when I watched the assembly that Jonathan [Alberts, editor] had done, I was a wreck. And I know that he’d been a wreck editing it.

The more you work on a film, for months and months, you aren’t sure. You wonder if you’ve got rid of the emotion within the piece, if you’ve ruined it. When the film was finished, I hoped that people would have a reaction to it, and that it would feel like a genuine emotional reaction rather than a manipulative one.

I wanted to unpick the pain that we all carry around, in the hope that at the end, there is some catharsis. I find crying so cathartic. Every time I cry my eyes I feel so much better. I remember when Jonathan was cutting the dailies, and it was just one of the scenes about halfway through, of Harry and Adam in bed talking. I came in and Jonathan was just in floods. I said, “What’s the matter?!” It wasn’t a big emotional scene but he was a wreck.

I think that’s representative of how grief works, too. Sometimes it’s the small things that set you off, and it’s not always the things that make sense.

It’s always the little things, and it’s the same whether it’s grief or anything in your past. I think grief is not always just about someone you’ve lost, it’s about things that you’ve lost. It’s time that you’ve lost, it’s relationships that you’ve lost, it’s love affairs that you’ve lost. Our whole lives are essentially dealing with time moving on and us losing things. I wanted the film to be about that – so the mother is just as upset that she has lost the time with her son because those things are so fragile. I’m a pretty melancholic person, and so I often think about all of those little moments in life that have been so important and are now just distant memories. They are essentially ghosts.

It’s strange, I’m currently going through a lot of video footage from when I was a kid, so I’m having a very similar experience. It brings up so many strange emotions, excavating the past. Thinking about the people that aren’t in your life now.

Yeah – and the emotion that you have for someone once they are gone, whether that’s because they’ve died or they’re just not in your life..that emotion is still there. It’s strange how that works. Fear doesn’t last the same way. No other emotion does. But love is always there. Somehow it’s both a little bit cheesy and kind of magical at the same time. Love is the thing that remains.

Were you familiar with Taichi Yamada’s novel Strangers before you were approached about the project?

No, I hadn’t heard of it – Graham [Broadbent] and Sarah [Harvey], the producers, sent it to me. They knew me, and they asked what I was interested in doing, so I said “I’m kind of interested in doing some kind of ghost story.’ Even though this isn’t that exactly. But they sent me this very traditional ghost story, and the thing that I loved was this idea in the novel of meeting your parents again. I thought that was a fascinating way to start looking into love, grief, parental responsibility, all of those things. I very quickly knew I wanted to make the love affair between two men, and I didn’t want the ghosts in the story to be malevolent, in the way they sort of are in the book.

I felt like, Oh God, I can finally talk about queerness and family in a way that I think is very complicated, and do it within a way that these two things can be interconnected and wound up together. I feel like that is a thing about being queer. It is complicated within a family dynamic. It’s getting better every day, although not for everyone. But it was certainly so complicated for me, growing up.

I’m interested to know how much you thought about the connection between All of Us Strangers and your previous work, particularly 45 Years and Weekend, because there are overlapping themes.

Yeah, and I don’t mind it being sort of repeating, because I think my interests are always my interests. So the things I’m trying to articulate, I’m often going back on myself to try and find new ways to express something I’ve looked at before. I quite like that idea. But my biggest concern, actually, in the beginning, was that people were going to think this film is just Weekend with Ghosts. But even though I don’t think the film is that, everything that you do is always in relationship to what you’ve done before. For me anyway. It’s like picking up a conversation, there’s something that you’ve already sort of talked about, but you realise you want to talk about a little bit more, and in a slightly different way.

You’ve talked a little bit about bringing your own personal experience into the film. How do you find that process of weaving your own personal experience into an adaptation?

Yes, I felt like I had to. For some reason, I felt like I didn’t want to make the film unless it was personal. There was stuff I wanted to talk about in terms of queerness and how I feel about family and its complications, what it can mean to be a child and a parent. I wrote a lot during the pandemic – I kind of threw myself into trying to make it feel as close to something I understood as possible while making sure it wasn’t autobiographical. So there’s lots of me in it, but there’s also lots of me that isn’t in it. When I gave the script to people, they’d said “I feel like you’ve written this about me. I feel like you’ve told my life story.” Whether it’s about the loss of parents or the separation from family, or whether it’s about queerness…they’re taking something from it. And that was always what I hoped that it would feel like. It’s personal to me, but I want it to feel personal to everyone.

You have such a wonderfully curated collection of 80s music in All of Us Strangers. Was this directly plucked from your own experience?

Oh yeah, those choices were definitely personal. I love The Pet Shop Boys, I’ve loved them from their first album onwards back in 1985, and Frankie Goes To Hollywood. If you open the vinyl now, it’s so gay! You pull out this bit of paper, and they’re wearing like leather underwear and you’re like “How did this exist in 1983?” Those songs were so important to me. But pop music in general is a way for especially repressed British people to express themselves – the old pop songs especially expressed the things that we can’t say in very blatant terms. I think weirdly my politics was forged by pop music. I listen to a Housemartins song now, and I can tell they’re a bunch of socialists, you can feel it. Everything was passionate in those days, especially in pop music.

The film begins with a sunrise and ends with a night sky which lingers, and I loved that parallel. How early did you have that ending in your head?

I think it was there from the beginning if I’m honest – but I’m also aware that the ending won’t work for everybody. For me, it’s like I needed the ending to transcend a sense of reality. When I was a kid growing up I genuinely thought that I would never be able to find love. I couldn’t even see spending my life with another man as a possibility. And I wanted in the end to make love have this almost cosmic importance. Like the idea that love is so fundamentally important and enormous. Someone said something to me that I hadn’t quite realised – stars die billions of years ago, and the light is still there millions of years later. It’s like we said before; love is this thing that can be long gone, but it’s still there. And you can find it again. And again. And again. It’s always there.'

#Andrew Haigh #All of Us Strangers #Taichi Yamada #Strangers #Weekend #45 Years #The North Water #Looking #Andrew Scott #Paul Mescal #Claire Foy #Jamie Bell #Jonathan Alberts #Graham Broadbent #Sarah Harvey #The Housemartins #Pet Shop Boys #Frankie Goes to Hollywood

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theoddcatlady · 4 months

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Pieces and Parts

My ‘father’ calls me Miranda, but I’m not sure if that’s entirely true. But you can just call me that too, I guess.

The only thing I know for sure is that three weeks ago, I died. And two weeks ago, I came back in my father’s basement.

It was dark, I was cold. I couldn’t move my right arm or leg. I tried getting up off the table I was laying on but I ended up just face planting on the floor. Despite the feel of blood trickling from my nose it didn’t hurt.

A gentle hand rested on my back and I looked up to see an old man with thinning white hair and silver glasses. He looked like your typical grandpa.

“It looks like you were a success. I’ll call you Miranda.”

I looked down then to see how my right arm was stitched onto my torso, how the light brown skin of my calf didn’t match my pale white thigh.

I’ve spent a lot of time examining myself. I believe that externally, I’m made of three different people. I believe all of them were women. Internally is an entirely different matter. I cannot confirm either way. I’m an amalgamation of many different people, and it shows.

For example, I’m quite sure I died in a car accident. I was driving home with friends, I made a bad joke, we all laughed, a deer stepped in front of the car and I swerved to avoid it. I remember crunching metal, how my friends screamed… and then nothing.

But I’m also certain I was shot. I get flashes of feeling the muzzle of a gun pressed against my chest, how I sobbed and begged for mercy. I may have also committed suicide by hanging, or the leukemia that plagued me my entire life finally finished me off.

I may have died a virgin or I had a son. Maybe I struggled with school my whole life because of dyslexia and ADHD, or I was about to graduate at the top of my class at an elite college. Maybe I was out hiking every weekend, or I lived for rainy days so I could curl up on my couch with a laptop and a cat. Maybe I was allergic to cats, I don’t know.

Maybe it’s all of the above. All the experiences of the people I was before turning into one singular being.

My father’s name is Albert. I’m not his first experiment, but I’m the most successful. I am still relearning how to talk, but I can type and have average intelligence. That’s more than I can say for Michelle and Nathaniel.

They’re the other two successes of my father, but they’re not nearly as advanced as I am. Nathaniel acts like a little boy despite looking to be in his mid thirties, he loves the color red and he thinks it’s so funny to pop out his brown eye and hide it someplace for me to find. When I do find it I always jump out of my skin, and since my legs are different lengths I tend to tumble to the ground. Then he comes around the corner giggling as he puts his eye back in.

Poor Michelle is constantly afraid. Michelle looks like a seven year old girl and is constantly on high alert. If she doesn’t want anyone to find her, no one will, but she obeys our father and always stays in the house. But given her petite size and the fact she can bend any which way she wants, she can hide quite literally anywhere for hours, even days before she comes out.

I’m not sure if our father loves us or he’s fascinated by us, but he can be very strict. We’re not allowed to leave the house. I tried to go for a walk and ended up getting locked in a closet for three days. Nathaniel was nice enough to bring me a hamburger and fries on my second day in there. We don’t really need to eat, but it feels good to have a full stomach.

We’re also not allowed to ask how father made us. He says he’s still working on perfecting the process, and he’d rather not share until he knows it’s complete. He did tell us that he did bring us back from the dead, and for that we should be eternally grateful for.

I’m not sure if I am, but I’m not sure of anything nowadays.

I want to go home. But I’m not sure where home is. Is it in a big city, where I took the subway every day to work? Or is it this small town where we always get snowed in every winter? I can’t be certain.

There’s also the fact I may just fall apart if I run away. Although father does his best, he’s not very good at sewing. Nathaniel is far better at it than him, but if he catches us he tends to start screaming about ‘messing with his design’.

That’s another thing: he doesn’t want anyone to change what he’s made. Since we are his children, and we should be grateful to him, we are to do exactly what he says and to not change how he made us. Even though Nathaniel struggles to figure out how to tie his shoes, Michelle can’t go a night without having a screaming nightmare and the stitches on my gut are constantly coming undone, he refuses to see how we could be improved. He only prepares for the next experiment, deciding that next time he’ll be the one to get it right.

But I suppose that’s why I’m here. Whether I’m Miranda, or Andrea, or Lucy, or Maria, I’m here. I’m here for a reason. And that reason is to fix his mistakes.

Thankfully he’s one of those old people who believes ‘1234’ is a successful password, allowing me access to his computer to do research. Michelle helps me find his notes and while he sleeps at night I study. Nathaniel makes sure I have plenty of hot drinks to keep my belly warm.

He’s already almost a quarter ways done with his next child, but I’ve been watching. This one will not be any better than us. Once again he’ll bring someone back in this half dead half alive state, caught in miserable paranoia or worse.

But I’ll be fixing him. Once I figure out how father keeps screwing us up, I’ll fix everything.

And if he objects, well… he’s going to learn quite quickly that he’s outnumbered three to one.

#my stories

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unnerving-presence · 11 months

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I love seeing your analysis posts on wesker! We share mostly the same hcs!! What's your opinion on the fact the wesker children were made to seek out spencer and if they didn't they'd have discomfort or anxiety? I remember when I first heard that it made me just sit back and be like "wow. The wesker children are literally grooming victims" . Not in a sexual way but like yk they were literally groomed to be weapons and servants of spencer... just. Wow.

thank you so much! i love making them because i finally get to unleash all my thoughts into one big post and they make me so happy 😭

i honestly think it’s really sad. wesker was made to believe his whole life that he was something greater and something important. sure, he really was since he was the greatest bioweapon ever made. but it’s the fact that it’s spencer that made him believe that. the man that took him from his family and did numerous experiments on him. spencer saw him as a means to further his plans, nothing more.

spencer even favors alex over wesker as well, saying that she’s the only one he trusts and does what he says.

it’s also kind of why i really like the scene where spencer straight up tells him his plans and why wesker was made the way he was. wesker doesn’t know how to feel. that first emotion he feels is anger, but you can also see some confusion, sadness, frustration. his whole life he’s been raised to think he’s more.

when he’s told straight to his face by his creator that he was a subject used for his plans and that he was the one that was going to be a god really pushes him over the edge. wesker’s whole life he’s been told that he’s more than what he really is. his whole life he wants to seek spencer out because it’s practically in his nature.

what’s worse about that scene is that wesker already knows (he gets all the data of umbrella in uc btw so he likely looked up shit about himself). he knows that spencer was using him and that he was a mere subject to him. it’s the fact that he’s now hearing it himself that gives him that motivation to kill spencer which is probably one of the reasons he didn’t instantly kill him. he needed to hear himself from his own creator what he really was, even if he already knew.

obviously all the wesker children went through this but albert definitely got the worst of it considering he’s 1 of 2 who actually lived through the experiments.

you can really see that wesker still isn’t over what spencer said either. in re5 there’s two separate scenes where he has flashbacks to when he killed spencer. the second scene of this happening is really intriguing though. the whole scene plays out and in the end it’s like he’s telling himself that he has the right to be a god. like he’s trying to prove himself that he doesn’t need spencer to do great things for himself. he can try and hide it all he wants, but it’s clearly still something in his head and something that’s conflicting for him.

srry for the long rant i could go on for so much longer but i don’t wanna make this post any longer 😭 if you couldn’t tell i like to over-analyze my pookie bear

#wesker’s backstory so sad i wanna hold him

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petersthree · 1 year

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So I’m not going to really comment on the parent arc for the Buckleys and Hans since that’s not over yet, but I do find the reactions in the show on Chimney working it out vs not really interesting!

Looking at Hen, Buck, and Eddie here (not Albert because I love him but I think we all recognize that his character motivations boil down to “whatever is most convenient for the writers” lmao).

Buck is someone who’s already actively decided that his parents aren’t the people that matter on his life. They’ve never cared, they aren’t going to, and he can keep them at arms length and be respectful because he doesn’t even really consider them as important people. And it’s in that where he might muse if Albert is right - the same way he wonders how their life would be different if Daniel were alive - but he ultimately meets Chim at his level. Yeah, maybe Albert is right, but yeah, maybe Chim is right. He’s overall fairly neutral, as someone who’s removed himself from that relationship but is still in contact.

Eddie outright says Albert might be right, that Jee needs her grandfather - and honestly I don’t think he’d so wholeheartedly agree to that last season. Eddie is all about what’s best for kids, absolutely, but we know that he’s already reconciled with his father. They’re both putting in the work and their relationship has improved, and Eddie takes that and goes hey, yeah, maybe Albert is right, because I would have said no a year ago but now this relationship has improved so much more. The difference there of course, is that both people are putting in effort, while as Chim points out, his dad came because of Albert’s suggestion, but this is about Eddie’s perspective.

And with Hen - she doesn’t tell Chim he’s right or wrong, but what I love is how she focuses on what’s best for him. It’s not about reconciling with his dad, the way she did with her mom, it’s about making sure there was nothing left unsaid the way she had with her father. She’s not saying make up with him, or tell him to fuck off forever - she’s not making that choice for Chimney, because whatever he wants to decide is his choice alone.

It’s also interesting how these also tie into them as parents - Buck is taking that semi-detached (note: not in a negative connotation) route for being a donor; he’s excited and happy to get the sonogram but specifies it’s Connor’s baby, not his. He’s Chris’s dad but he’s also never said it - it’s a very in between world for him and his response in kind is also in between. Eddie puts Christopher first, even above what makes himself happy like we saw in season 5, and he encourages Chim to do what’s best for Jee. Hen has had this struggle with Denny’s bio parents, and with Nia, where she can see the benefit of both - she’s experienced the struggles and the beauty with both her kids and their biological parents, and she doesn’t take a stance on which is better. Hen focuses it not on what Chimney should or shouldn’t do as a parent, but what he should do as the child, for his own healing and betterment.

It’s just very nifty to see - it’s something that originally took me aback for some characters like Eddie to say this, but makes so much more sense to me in hindsight with how these characters view things in accordance to their own relationships with their parents and their experiences as parents themselves.

#janie rambles #911 spoilers #911 fox #911 meta #does that make sense? hopefully sjdksksk im a bit out of it #chimney han #evan buckley #hen wilson #eddie diaz

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mean-scarlet-deceiver · 1 year

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The one thing that I want to know after reading about Nobby’s NRM friends is his relationship with the LNWR and midland engines.

Also I’m just imagining a funny what-if if he was shunting alongside Cornwall, Hardwicke, and 49395, and everyone prays that world war 3 doesn’t start lol.

I hate to disappoint, but ‘boringly realistic’ is as you know my brand I don’t see those relationships as being that spicy.

I can definitely see the NRM having a recurring theme where some kindly, enthusiastic, naive soul is like “hey! let’s put all the reeeally old engines next to each other for a while and they can reminisce about Victoria and Albert getting hitched, or whatever! :)” and despite warnings they do it and then all the Reeeeally Old Engines are just staring icily at each other in a sort of eight-way armed standoff, each knowing that the first one to speak is going to set off a relitigation of stale old politics and grievances (from both their working and preservation careers) they all know should be buried sixty years ago, except here they are, all kinda itching to fight ‘em again, but also There Are People Around, and, more importantly, There Are Young Engines Around. Wouldn’t want to set a bad example for impressionable young things like Gazelle and Truro.

But the atmosphere? It’s chilly.

That, however, is the reeeeeally old crowd. It doesn't even include the good-natured M.R. lot.

There is no feud between the Furness and Midland survivors. It was never that severe between them, anyway. In fact, back in their working days F.R. No. 4, Coppernob’s brother, would ramble about his admiration of the glamorous Midland 1757 ‘Beatrice’. Remembering his twin’s old fanboy crush, Nobby sank into a deep funk for two days when he heard Beatrice had been dismantled. (This was right before Grouping, and Nobby had no idea just how scrap-happy life was about to get.)

Back in Coppernob’s working days there was just the usual neighborly rivalry when you have two railways full of puffed-up steam engines. The M.R. loved when it finally had a rival company that they could look down upon for underpowered engines—it made such a nice change from their situation at all the other junctions ('The M is for Midland, with engines galore/Two on each train, and begging for more!'). The F.R. rolling stock resented the existential threat that the Midlanders represented, and resented some of their snubs and titters at their rather sorry ‘boat trains’ even more. But the whole thing largely simmered down sometime in the 1880s when the Furness directors firmly told the M.R. that they could pay them roughly six bajillion dollars for their company or they could fuck off, and the M.R. chose the latter option.

Coppernob and 158 are the only two still alive who even remember the thing. There is no grudge. 158 never even worked those regions, and even if she had it’s unlikely Nobby would hold it against her. He can be petty—but he’s not that petty. And 158 couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone stir up century-old bad blood. Among other things, it would be unsporting. There are a good few pre-Grouping Midlanders in the National Collection, and then there’s Nobby all by himself. That would just be mean.

So Nobby is on good terms with all the surviving Midlanders that he's met, and positively cozy with their composite six-wheeler. If he and 158 haven’t become friends, it’s largely down to the fact that, while they have a lot in common, it’s the sort of life experiences that are very painful and they just haven’t gotten round to opening up to each other in that way yet. Maybe give them another fifty years and we’ll see.

But then there’s the L.N.W.R., haha. The Midland just wanted to buy them out and take over their entire outfit, pah! You can fight that. What the L.N.W.R. did hurt way worse. The F.R. had to make a huge noise and fuss to get the 'old' North-Western to even notice them.

The keynote of the F.R.’s rivalry with them in the old days was that the London and North Western was one of the greatest railways in the world and the truth is that the Furnessians admired them very much. The F.R. took a lot of cues on how to do things from their great neighbors to the south (except—unfortunately, from the engines’ point of view—they never bothered to try to imitate the Crewe Works. But, for example, even Nobby’s preservation was itself a very ‘big North-Western’ move on their part). The scrappy, spirited Furnessians were hate-‘em-‘cause-they-ain’t-‘em. They aspired to be them, they never would be them, and whenever the L.N.W.R. noticed their existence they found the F.R.’s little attempts to compete with them entertaining. (You can maybe see why Nobby has a soft spot for James.) Nobby spent much of his first forty years running on pure spite of the ‘North-Western.’ He was always enormously (and not unjustly) proud of his life’s work in helping the F.R. expand and succeed—but that pride was always shattered bitterly whenever he ran into boastful L.N.W.R. stock, who never failed to remind him, with great heartiness, how poor and tardy and out-of-date their whole outfit was. It would throw his whole system out of order for days. He and the rest of his lot hated them—and they simply thought of the Copper-Nobs (when they thought of them at all) as quaint, funny, mildly annoying little things.

This sort of rivalry is just the worst.

The power imbalance has straightened out since 1900, though. Coppernob himself (against all expectations back in the 1840s, when the F.R. had like twelve miles of track and not quite as many coaches) was newsworthy by the time he was withdrawn, if from nothing but the sheer stubbornness of working what was at the time the longest career on British rails.

A quarter-century later, he and Columbine turned over a new leaf when they were put on display next to each other at the Wembley Exhibition—it was really nice for both of them to put away all the old nonsense and actually get to know each other, and they are penpals to this day. (They were also insufferably haughty about their good sense and deportment. The only reason it wasn’t on sight for the two of them was because Flying Scotsman and at least one of the Castles were there, already making a “scene.” Coppernob and Columbine bonded immediately as they basically pretended that they had never been so silly as that, and why were the new Big Four so eager to produce engines with more tractive effort than sense, and yes indeed, back in their day they knew how to express their differences with grace, and—)

It was at the Exhibition of ’25 that the world got to see Nobby’s “guest manner” in action. His whole crotchedy-grandpa-with-a-heart-of-gold shtick that he’d developed while stuck at Barrow Central proved a huge success. (The L.N.W.R. emeriti had mostly been departmental engines once withdrawn—they'd had to develop some public relations game too, but 'talking to visitors' hadn’t been literally their only duty they’d had to practice 24/7 for the past eighteen years.) It sure impressed the hell out of Columbine, and it inspired her to up her game—and to go home and make sure the rest of her railway elders did too. So yeah, ironically enough we did wind up in a situation where (for once! a-men) it was the proud Crewe engines who were scrambling to keep up with a Copper-Nob.

(It’s lucky that Nobby didn’t really grasp the scale of his success at Wembley and indeed the influence he had on the entire British preservation circuit until much later. By the time he did it was well after the Barrow Blitz and he was so famous that it didn’t really matter that his dome grew three sizes that day. Getting bombed? That wasn’t heroic, he didn’t bloody do anything. Becoming as popular as the entire L.N.W.R. lot put together? Now, that. That’s a proper ego boost!)

Most of Nobby’s London and North Western contemporaries—the ones with whom he ever had any real enmity, the ones who used to humiliate him and his—are scrapped. But there are significant strains on their modern truce. He and Cornwall, even though they Conduct Themselves Appropriately, have such a foul enmity poisoning the air between them that they are always housed in different museums. Hardwicke is a generation after all these grand old ‘C’s and perhaps would have been on neutral terms with Coppernob, especially due to their mutual friendships (including with Columbine) and to the sense, shared by all the M.R. engines, that it would be just vulgar to gang up on Coppernob when he’s a party of one… except Nobby once gossiped in Hardwicke’s hearing about the long-dismantled Lady of the Lake (“ ‘Lady of the Lake,’ pah. ‘Witch of the Lagoon,’ more like!” — h/t @houseboatisland) Understandably Hardwicke found this pretty disrespectful and came to the conclusion that Coppernob’s double-edged tongue makes two-or-three on one a perfectly fair match, in his case! While Hardwicke is not as deep in the feud as Cornwall, he does of course back up his old fleetmate and mentor whenever conflict breaks out.

Nobby had no grudge against the old Crewe saddletank on principle—he’d never even heard of her until the 1950s—it’s her personality that led to him rejecting her. (He’s not alone; she’s pretty widely disliked. 1439 has seen and participated in far more scrappings than any living being should and she is, to put it mildly, a little too quick to share a morbid memory.) ‘Pet,’ however—the other old Crewe shunter, the narrow-gauge one—is a much more personable engine and popular with just about everybody; she reminds Nobby in particular of Poppet.

Unlike Nobby’s great success with the M.R. coaches, the old Wolverton carriages maintain the old snobbery in full measure and do not deign to speak to any engines they consider inferior to the L.N.W.R. engines who used to handle them. They've even snubbed the Rocket (yes, the real one), so we can expect that quaint little Coppernob will be in that scorned category forever. (He hasn’t exactly lost sleep over it. I’m not 100% sure he’s even noticed the silent treatment—it took him decades to strike up a conversation with his friend the Midland composite. Engine classism ftw!)

#chatter #ttte headcanon #coppernob things #preserved engines #nrm engines #long post

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adamwatchesmovies · 3 months

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Roman Holiday (1953)

Once again, we’re talking about an Audrey Hepburn film that at first, seems familiar. Like before, the details Roman Holiday gets right make it feel wholly new. The performances are excellent, the script is terrific, the laughs are big and the romance is palpable. This is one of the best romantic comedies ever made.

While visiting Rome, crown princess Ann (Audrey Hepburn) secretly leaves the embassy to get away from her royal duties for a night. While out, she meets and befriends Joe Bradley (Gregory Peck), a reporter who only recognizes her after he's gained her trust. He sets out to take her on a one-day vacation - an opportunity for him to get her unfiltered thoughts on the world and take the kind of candid photos the embassy would never allow.

See what I mean about a plot that sounds like we’ve seen many times? You have the rich girl and the poor guy unexpectedly crossing paths. He doesn’t know who she is, they spend some time together and then fall in love. How will the palace react when she returns but has left her heart behind and is now unwilling to proceed with that arranged marriage her parents set up? We’ve seen THAT story before. Roman Holiday is something different.

Roman Holiday often plays like a tour of Rome; a vacation you take along with the characters for the price of a movie ticket. We see the Spanish Steps, the Mouth of Truth and the Colosseum. We ride a Vespa scooter through the streets, dance on the riverside and have coffee in a charming outdoor cafe. Basically, you see what there is to see, you taste the food the city is known for, and get to experience its unique culture. It’s a series of small adventures that build up your interest in the characters. Initially a little bratty, Princess Ann shows a tremendous amount of growth as the story plays out, particularly during the end. Same goes for Joe, who’s a bit of a scoundrel at first. See, initially, Joe doesn’t want anything to do with Ann. He only gives her a place to sleep because he thinks she’s drunk (actually, she’s been sedated by her doctor after a fit). Come morning, he recognizes her and spots an opportunity. The tour is a ploy worth over $5000 to our unscrupulous reporter.

Audrey Hepburn is so good in the film you can’t believe this is the first time she had a significant role. This technically isn’t her first movie, but it’s the the one that “introduced” her. Gregory Peck is always bankable as a star so the surprise comes not from him, but from how well he plays off of her. Their chemistry makes the movie soooo complicated. You figure it’s only a matter of time before she finds out what’s going on. When she does, what will happen? If this was a movie made today, you’d be able to guess. With this one… you’re not so sure.

What makes the film’s ending unforgettable are the many laughs that dominate the middle. To sell his story, Joe has to get the help of his friend, a photographer named Irving (Eddie Albert). He has the tools, but how does Joe communicate to Irving to be quiet, and what shots he wants? With the many fish-out-of-water scenarios, Joe having to dodge the people he owes money to, many misunderstandings and plenty of funny situtations, there’s A LOT going on comedically. There’s just a lot going on overall, making the nearly two-hour running time fly by like it’s nothing.

I’m almost unsure whether I should recommend Roman Holiday to fans of romantic comedies. After this one, so many others just won’t cut it anymore. You’ll have seen what they’re attempting to do perfected. It’s a gorgeous film and just about every aspect of it exemplifies filmmaking at its best - it’s no surprise it earned 10 Academy Award Nominations. Everyone knows Audrey Hepburn from her role in Breakfast at Tiffany’s but THIS is the movie you’ve got to see. (September 17, 2021)

#Roman Holiday #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #William Wyler #Dalton Trumbo #Ian McLellan Hunter #John Dighton #Gregory Peck #Audrey Hepburn #Eddie Albert #1953 movies #1953 films

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crackingthetbrpile · 1 year

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Devil World (Gordon Eklund, 1979)

1/5 stars (1/5 for entertainment, 0/5 for teasing me with a more interesting concept at the very end)

If you’re curious whether you should give Devil World a chance, I’ll ease your worries now: go ahead and skip this one. There’s nothing here that you can’t find done better in either another tie-in novel, or a TOS episode.

Eklund obviously wanted to try something here, but it’s just as obvious that he has no idea what he’s doing when it comes to the characters. Kirk is somehow a frightening captain, for example, despite any evidence to the contrary from The Original Series. Considering Eklund’s later comments regarding the freedom allowed to the Star Trek Adventures writers, I’m surprised this book is so unimpressive. The plot doesn’t seem to go anywhere up until the last twenty pages, but by that point Eklund had sapped all of my good will and I no longer cared.

The worst part about this novel is definitely the original characters Eklund created - namely Gilla Dupree and Albert Schang. The best I can describe Dupree is to compare her to the character of Willie Scott from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. She’s a songstress whose emotions change on a dime, and is really only in the way in any given scene. Somehow Kirk is in love with her after only a few days, as is the way with the more awful tie-in novels. All I can remember is writing the word “Barf” next to his first declaration of love for her. Schang is just a lazy and klutzy officer who annoyed me every time he was on the page, eventually “redeeming” himself in the least believable ending I could picture for his character.

Books left: 870

While I detested a lot of this book, I am a firm believer in that there is always a nugget of something worthwhile in these novels. I’ve included my favorite bits from Devil World beneath the “read more” for brevity’s sake.

- Eklund knows a lot about Jainism, and he’s determined to tell you all about it. Does he know a lot of accurate info about this belief system? Debatable, but I did enjoy the opportunity to learn more about it, even if I had to constantly fact-check what the characters said. Dupree sours this one, because she practices Jainism and is kind of terrible at it.

- Jacob Kell’s paintings are a fascinating bit of characterization, and I wish Eklund had done more than passively reference them. The focus on his need to hold onto the art he created after his traumatic experience speaks to the real Kell’s desires for solitude, even if this character bit is dropped by the end of the novel because Eklund got bored.

- The description of the underbelly of the Danon village. So cool, and the reveal that the entire planet is just one huge computer?! I wished that we could’ve spent the whole novel exploring the maze of hallways and wires beneath the planet’s surface, but Eklund didn’t think it deserved more than a passing mention in the last twenty pages.

#star trek #tos #star trek novels #devil world #gordon eklund #star trek adventures #i will not be reading a non-ST eklund book #you can't make me #he's not good at this

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pridepages · 2 years

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Sapphic Struggle: Leah on the Offbeat

I just finished Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli. I have some thoughts.

Here there be spoilers!

Full shade to Love, Victor, this is the follow-up I wanted for the Creekwood kids. While beloved Simon and Bram are frequently present, and go through their own B-storyline of growth in love in the background, this book is all about Simon's friend, Leah Burke.

This is not a coming-to-terms story, which may surprise readers of the first book. Leah informs us that she has known she is bisexual long before she even met Simon Spier. Nevertheless, she has elected not to come out to her friends--not even during the events of Simon's story.

The more we get to know Leah, the more we understand why she wouldn't share. Leah is absolutely terrified of being vulnerable with other people. She fears rejection above everything. In a thought reminiscent of Bram's "Blue" post (I wonder if she read it?) Leah muses "I don't get how people walk through life with all their windows wide open."

There's particular nuance to Leah's secretiveness: it's not precisely that she refuses to share herself. It's that she doesn't want to share herself unfinished. If she isn't perfectly formed, certain, and self-assured, then she would rather wait until she is.

But the problem that Leah is discovering is that there's very little about ourselves we can be sure of: life is constantly experiencing, questioning, and shaping ourselves in response to the world.

There's one particular disaster sapphic moment that made me laugh because I GOT it. Leah is sure that attraction "has to be easier for people with penises. Does this person get you hard? Yes? Done. I used to think boners literally pointed n the direction of the person you're attracted to, like a compass. That would be helpful. Mortifying as fuck, but at least it would clarify things."

As a teenager, and again as I was wrestling with my queerness as a young adult, I had that thought pretty much word for word. It is so terrible and frustrating to struggle with attraction in a world that so de-prioritizes women's feelings. Women, particularly queer or trans women, often have to struggle with interpreting and reconciling the messages our brains and bodies send. Because the lens through which we are socially taught to read attraction is so often geared toward the desires of cismen...even the queer ones (as any sapphic who has found herself lost in a gay bar surrounded by men can tell you).

It's obviously not that easy. For all of us, shaping our identities is a lifelong process. Things are going to change. We are going to be wrong. And being wrong so publicly? Yes, can be terrible and humiliating. I still grapple with the fact that I forced myself into an ill-fitting hetero relationship for basically all of my teenage years because I was lonely and some part of my brain was screaming "if you can't make it work with this boy, you'll never make it work with any boy" (turns out my brain was right, I had just missed the nuance so far that I wasn't even in the same jurisdiction). Remembering those years is so cringe and horrible I sometimes wish I could get a do-over, or at least erase them from my brain. Then I wish I could have all that lost time back and get a do-over knowing what I know now.

But honestly? That time wasn't a waste. Without those experiences, I probably wouldn't have become who I am now: confident and happy in who I am.

I'm so glad we leave Leah starting to figure out that becoming who you are can't happen in isolation. We shape ourselves in and around other people. That means throwing the windows of our heart open. That means being imperfect and embarrassing. That means making mistakes. That means taking the risk that might not be a mistake at all. That means choosing the unknown and maybe arriving somewhere wonderful. "Don't overthink this."

Bright, surly, foul-mouthed Leah: I see you. I was you as a teenager. I'm still probably somewhat like that now. Let's just keep remembering to stay open, yeah? Keep putting ourselves out there and choosing to live. It all might suck, but it all might be brilliant. Wouldn't it be a shame to miss out?

#leah on the offbeat #becky albertalli #lgbt reads

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arklay · 2 years

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hi i found another song last night for the clown pair and i will never emotionally recover from this

#it’s only 6am but i’m about to be so annoying right now #so. illusion by vnv nation. uh. i’m not okay first of all #but okay i don’t know if this is even gonna make sense without the context of their relationship and like everything that is in my brain but #i heard this and all i could think about was how he just pretty much goes off the rails after learning from spencer that he was basically #an experiment and she just doesn’t want the albert she knows and love to go. she will stand by his side. she will follow through with the #vision they’ve shared over these years but she doesn’t want him to leave. she’s by his side through it all and that’s not going to change #but seeing how consumed he becomes by his hatred and anger. how it fuels this ideal to become a god. she can’t help but feel like he’s #slipping away and there is nothing she can do to stop it. she’s never seen him be reckless or act so much on emotion and it’s a change she’s #not sure she likes seeing. it doesn’t change the fact that she loves him. doesn’t change that she will see this through to the end with him.#i have so many emotions about this song it’s unreal but hearing it and my brain going oh uh this fits them actually was just ouch stop #wish i could transfer all the context in my mind to others so they are like italicised oh moment over this as well #‘i know it’s hard to tell how mixed up you feel / hoping what you need is behind every door’ that anxiety that was placed in him as a #fail safe by spencer. that need to be something greater and to push for his plans because of these ideals and beliefs that he was brought up #to believe. ‘each time you hurt i don’t want you to change / because everyone has hopes you’re human after all’ help. they may believe #themselves to be superior over other people. may fancy themselves as gods of a new world. but this perfect image he’s created. this cold and #composed demeanour. it doesn’t change that he hurts as well. that what spencer did to him and the life he stole from him was going to affect #him because he still is human. and she knows that better than anyone. i mean literally the rest of this verse too. just all of it i’m so #oughgh over like the need to strive for something more. but also tying back into that thoughts on kafka note from alex and when she said #that he must have felt this way as well. that he was bred for a purpose and when that was fulfilled he would be cast aside. idk i’m fine i #swear. then of course the whole chorus is just ouch ouch send help ‘i don’t want you to hate / for all the hurt that you feel’ like shut up #shut up shut up this is not okay. screaming over this whole song like it just ruined me last night… also this bit from next verse i think #also ties really nicely into their whole will live as gods in the new world situation and the fact that they just know each other’s minds so #well and are so intelligent and believe themselves better than others like ‘but what i do know is to us the world is different / as we are #to the world but i guess you would know that’ OKAY i’m literally gonna shut up now i promise i’m just. okay. i’m fine #pair: 🤡#leah.txt

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boredfanwrites · 3 years

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Buddie #1

There is not a bone in my body that can accept that in any other universe they wouldn't be perfect together. Post 4x14 so SPOILERS for that. This got so much longer than I thought it would be. Sorry in advance, there's much more under the cut.

· Eddie tells him about the will. Chris goes to Buck if anything happens to Eddie. Which it very nearly did.

· It causes Buck to actually stop and think things through before rushing into danger.

· The rest of the team question it while Eddie's recovering but he just says there's someone relying on him now.

· They take it to mean Taylor - well Chimney and Albert do, Hen and Bobby are more clued in.

· Buck talks about Eddie and Chris like he did when they quarantined together - like they're living together again.

· They are.

· Buck moved in to help Eddie and his recovery, with Ana stepping in when he was on shifts - even if she tended to undo everything Buck had done.

· He tells himself it's because she's not used to the way he and Eddie do things - yes that one singular bowl and plate live in the lower cupboard, it's so Eddie can reach them easily. Chris always picks the movie on movie nights, Eddie and Buck alternate when he's gone to bed.

· Eddie is stubborn as always, but has managed to allow Buck to help him dress and shower - Ana is very much not allowed, despite her protests they're barely in a relationship.

· Eddie explains to Buck that yes, they've been together for six months but they've not really been togetherand he quietly admits that he regrets telling Chris so soon.

· Buck calms him and says that it was right to introduce Chris to the idea of Eddie dating, but yeah, maybe it wasn't smart to spring Ana on him so early - especially because she decided she had to be a bigger part of his life now he was aware.

· Chris manages to get to the station once while Buck is on shift.

· Buck comes back to Albert making him pancakes and Chris scribbling with the things they keep for the school trips.

· 'What are you doing here, bud? Does your dad know?'

· 'Kinda.'

· 'What does kinda mean here?'

· 'He knows I wanted to see you. I don't think he knows that I came here.'

· Albert quickly jumps in saying he's texted Eddie and he and Carla are on their way, it just happens that the rig got back before they got there.

· Buck sits down with Chris, leaning his head on his arms and looks at the picture. It's him, Eddie and Buck with Carla and her husband in the background.

· 'What's wrong, Chris?'

· 'Ana.'

· 'Ok, what did she do?'

· 'Tried to get me to bath before I ate and then said I had to do my homework before TV time.'

· 'Buddy, you always have to do your homework before TV time.'

· 'But she tried to help me.'

· 'Your dad and I try our best to help you. She's a teacher, she's better use than us.'

· 'No that's not it.'

· Chris has tears in his eyes and a death grip on his crayon.

· 'She told the poor boy his handwriting was ineligible and took his pencil, tried to get him to tell her the answers and that she would write them for him.' Carla sighs.

· She stands with her arms open and Chris runs into them. Eddie looms behind them, looking sad.

· Well, neutral really, but Buck knows his micro expressions well enough.

· After that Ana is banned from the house in the afternoons/evenings and Carla steps back in. The new problem is Ana turning up when Buck has days off - their schedule was she was here when Buck wasn't, for multiple reasons.

· Ana's great, there's just something about her that Buck doesn't like and she definitely doesn't like Buck. Maybe it's because they're just opposites.

· Eddie tries to gently tell her that he barely gets to see Buck anymore and he needs it for his mental health. Ana starts pestering about the fact that he should want to see his girlfriend more than his best friend.

· It's one of their biggest fights and turns into a screaming match one night (Chris is at Hen's with Denny but Buck is hiding away in the guest room) where Eddie shouts that she had decided that she was his girlfriend without asking Eddie if that was what he wanted and she was suffocating.

· She leaves pretty quickly after that and Buck is incredibly happy as their paths never cross again.

· There's an emptiness settling in his chest when he finds out that the two are still together and are treating the relationship as though they're just dating again. He hates that he really doesn't like the idea that it's working out now that they're on even footing.

· He decides to push it away and starts getting reckless again. Taylor's hanging around the station more like she wants more from Buck, but he'd given up. She liked being chased and now that he's tired of it, she wants him. He knows she'll get bored if he shows interest again.

· It's interest he doesn't have. Eddie had called him Evan and told him he deserved more. How was he supposed to go back to normal after that?

· Why doesn't Eddie see how life changing that was?

· Eddie does. But in typical Eddie fashion, he pushes it deep down and replaces it with his content being with Ana. She makes his parents happy, which makes him happy. She gets along with Pepa and Isabel and his sisters, but they act a lot more familial with Buck.

· It makes sense, he tells himself - they've had years with Buck.

· Nothing really changes for Buck until TK and Judd find themselves in LA. Buck hastily explains to TK that he wasn't asking him out back in Austin, he just wanted a friend and really he wasn't attracted to guys.

· TK just straight up laughs at Buck.

· 'Buckley, you checked me, Carlos, and the barista out in the span of like five minutes. You're a little attracted to guys.'

· 'Wait, you mean you and Diaz ain't datin'?'

· Judd's question throws Buck through a loop.

· 'What? No...we're just...we're friends. Best friends.'

· TK laughs again, patting Buck on the shoulder.

· Once they're on their last day, TK takes Buck out for a drink like he'd promised. Buck tries to ignore the fact he's brought him to a gay bar.

· He gets hit on at least three times in an hour, not to mention the building collection of beers for both him and TK and he decides he doesn't actually mind it.

· 'Ok, I want you to do something for me. Scan the crowd and pick a guy, any guy, and tell me what you find attractive about him.'

· Buck picks out a shorter man, tanned skin and dark hair.

· 'He's got a cute smile.'

· 'Oh boy, you have a type.'

· 'Huh?'

· 'He looks like Eddie.'

· And he does. Like a Walmart version of Eddie though. He didn't laugh like Eddie, didn't have the same laugh lines. Or frown lines. His eyes weren't as warm when he met Buck's nor did he smile as fondly. And...

· 'Fuck.'

· 'You just now realizing your feelings for him?'

· 'Yeah. How did I not know?'

· 'Honestly, it was probably such a subtle shift. From what you've told me you've basically been a couple for a year and a half, so you didn't realize anything had changed for you.'

· 'I've never denied it.'

· 'I mean you clearly must have.'

· 'No. I meant that there have been so many times people assumed Eddie and I were a couple and I never denied it, I went along with it all.'

· 'Shit man, you had it bad before you even realized.'

· Buck groans as TK throws an arm around him, leaning against his shoulder.

· Things change after that. Buck is hesitant with physical touch with Eddie - it's his main love language and he needs to make sure he's not overdoing it and making Eddie uncomfortable.

· Eddie notices because of course, he does. Buck has pulled away from him for seemingly no reason. The second Eddie can dress, shower, and reach the high cabinets himself Buck is talking about going home.

· He is home.

· Eddie doesn't say it, he just hums, not really agreeing. He's gotten used to Buck being around and so has Chris. They'd easily fallen back into their quarantine routine and now Buck would be leaving again.

· A quick thought of getting shot again fills Eddie's head. Though this time it's nothing to do with his PTSD and more so that he doesn't want Buck to leave. So he exaggerates just a little.

· 'You know, my PTSD is still acting up. Maybe, you could stay until it balances out a little?'

· 'You'd want me to?'

· 'Yeah, you're great at getting me out and calming me and Christopher down.'

· 'You don't think Ana should start taking up some night shifts?'

· 'I don't really want her to deal with that side of me yet.'

· 'Okay.'

· 'Okay?'

· 'Yeah, I'll stay.'

· Eddie keeps an eye on Buck just as much as he keeps an eye on Eddie. He quickly realizes that Buck is holding in his own troubles. He knows from experience that Buck does not think his problems are anywhere near as bad as everyone else's. He has a lot of unlearning to do.

· Subtly, Eddie starts talking to him about his mental state, his worries, trying to let Buck know it's ok to do the same.

· When he and Ana inevitably break up not even a month later, it's Buck that he tells first.

· Buck, who has his back.

· Buck, who loves Christopher as his own.

· Buck, who is insecure about everything he does except saving people.

· Buck, who thinks he is unworthy and undeserving of love.

· Buck, who shows his love through acts of kindness and physical affection.

· Buck, who Eddie is so unapologetically in love with and probably has been for years.

· The revelation doesn't shock him like he thought it would. More so, it was a natural progression of their relationship.

· Friends. Best friends. Co-parents. Co-habiting. Partners. Partners.

· Eddie sees a future with Buck, a future he'd only ever seen with Shannon but it's so much brighter.

· He comes home from his first shift back - Buck wasn't working and offered to look after Christopher so Eddie knew he was safe - to find Buck on the couch, staring into an empty beer bottle.

· 'Hey?' it's broken and Eddie drops his things to rush over to him.

· 'You good?'

· 'No. I'm not.'

· Buck looks up, tears in his eyes, cheeks red and puffy.

· 'What's going on, Evan?'

· That's all it takes. He breaks. He babbles about watching Eddie die over and over in his dreams. How sometimes the shower will splash his face just so and he's thrown back with Eddie's blood on his face. How he was trying to get through it with Dr. Copeland but it wasn't helping.

· Nothing was helping.

· 'It's ok. I'm here, I'm okay.'

· 'You weren't. You died, Eds. You died on me.'

· 'You saved me.'

· 'What if I hadn't? I don't know a life without you anymore. I can't lose another person I love.'

· 'You love me?'

· 'Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?'

· Buck registers his words, quickly backing away from Eddie and tries to make a break for the open door. Eddie isn't letting him run away anymore. His wrist snakes around Buck's.

· 'Evan. I told you there wasn't anyone else I'd want to look after Christ. I told you you weren't expendable. I said that because I love you and you needed to hear it. You had to learn you deserved love. Love that Chris shows you. Love that I can show you. I love you so much, Evan Buckley.'

· Buck crumples in Eddie's arms, Eddie rocks him gently until the sobs subside.

· It's not an immediate or obvious change. There are still things the two need to work through.

· It's different but the same. There's more contact now; hugs, tactile hands on waists, and backs at work. Kisses in the bunk, soft and slow.

· It's new and exciting. Especially when they finally get together, officially and exclusively.

· Chris loves telling everyone about his two dads.

· Eddie and Buck are happier, closer.

· Buck had always been a Diaz. He'd always had a family who loved him. The big change was he got to love them both endlessly in return.

#buddie #911 #911 headcanons #buddie headcanons #evan buck buckely #911 fox #firefam #buckley diaz family #buddie fic #buddie drabble #christopher diaz #edmundo diaz #eddie diaz #eddie x buck #christopher diaz is an absolute angel #slow burn #oblivious idiots #oblivious buddie

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

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Thurs 19 Nov ‘20

The big story of the day is Liam's Happy Hour podcast (it is uh neither one hour nor all happy but OKAY) in which as he says, they “really did talk about anything and everything.” For those of you who are new to the experience of Liam being given a lot of time (over 100 minutes in this case) and not interrupted or made to answer the same four Qs over and over, honestly? He gives so much and is so charming and it's wonderful, but also trigger warning for mental health struggles and substance use at the very least, if not for the way they all were treated by management as very young people besides. He has been through a lot and is still dealing with a lot of really hard stuff, and he's very aware and savvy about how the tabloids treat his painful revelations, and yet he continues to be vulnerable and open publicly, when no one could blame him for choosing not to (WELL they definitely could and would but I wouldn't.) It's a true gift he gives to us who are so hungry for personal knowledge and behind the scenes detail, even though we have also been the source of so much stress for him. “How shit is the world if you can’t cuddle Liam Payne?” asks the podcast host and...yeah. I think we'd all like to do that today!

Anyway, onward! Liam talks about his mental health struggles, as he has done before, about the anxiety he has dealt with about being in public and about feeling watched even at home, and the things that made him feel that way such as people crowding around his house and banging on the windows for example. He mentions again the meds he used to be on that had “to do with happiness... to not feel so numb all the time” that made him have dissociative episodes as a result of stage lights sometimes and blank on lyrics, but the really good news here is that unlike the last time it came up this is a past tense story! He says he is not taking that anymore. But he says he always uses a prompter now because he still worries about messing up onstage, and not everything troubling is past tense: he says “I surround myself with people that bully me at some points, but not in a nasty bully way... very lad humor kind of thing. We’ve a laugh, you know?”. I GUESS... but actually can we just not bully Liam at all please? :(( He says he always tries to make time for fans but sometimes he just can't handle doing it, but also talks about how much he's enjoyed all the new social media stuff he's been able to do over the last months. “When you are in the postion I'm in and have this lovely fanbase, you feel like you're communicating with them in the right way,” he said about his attempts to connect with us, but says the middle men make that hard. He says he loves doing the youtube videos because “if I've anything I want to say I can just say it myself without somebody being in the way.” He says he stopped doing it as a weekly quarantine times roundup because he wasn't really doing enough stuff to round up, YEAH: relatable!

He continues to be our sole source of 1D behind the scenes tidbits (and Louis gossip)-- about band days he talks about how he and Louis struggled over who was leading the band but learned to work together, about how they were so young at the beignning that they just thought their tour manager was the boss of them and let them tell them anything to do, including just being confined to hotels for days at a time because it was easier for the higher ups. He tells about management telling him he was going to have to take the role of the “the person that sometimes people don’t like”, ugh poor Liam, and being made to be “a weird One Direction narc” by management. He says that “the day that they signed their contract with their label they got one of the biggest telling offs ever, but he can’t tell the reasons why it happened”, ummmmm, and that he can't stand to watch The X Factor now because he knows what doing well will do to someone's life. “I was part of this machine and I knew my part in the machine,” he says, “Towards the end of the band I became like ‘the loud drunken one’ and I was very good at that too.” But on a lighter note, Louis stories!! Liam says they talk a lot and tells a great story about Louis telling someone in a store 'no I'm not Louis Tomlinson! I just look like him!' and them being like nah actually you're better looking than him LMAO. Compliment or insult NO ONE KNOWS but it figures it would be Louis himself they'd say that about; it simply wouldn't make sense about anyone else. AND FINALLY he told us something that was very much news to us; he says he proposed to Maya last December when he was in Texas visiting her family. He says he worked it out with her mom and took her to restaurant where she was surprised by a room full of flowers and him waiting to propose. A picture of her in a room lined with red roses and full of candles from around that time was found and is assumed to be from that. (They announced their engagement in August of this year.)

Other things did happen too, though (thankfully for us updaters) not too many of them. Liam posted more of his art-- it's the Queen in watercolor! And it's super cute and expressive and how is he so good at art?! In about 16 hours a behind the scenes video from Niall's Royal Albert Hall show will post! Harry followed Silvia Calderoni, the star of the Gucci fest shorts, and “a representative from Gucci” says they think Harry's appearance “might have been an improvised moment.” Well yes I thought it was unscripted too, that sounded like Harry and like Harry when he's talking himself rather than delivering lines, but there you have it from someone with I guess more authority than me. But it doesn't sound like how Harry talks when he's REALLY off script and reverts to his cute teen Harry style-- exhibit, a model from the Watermelon Sugar video who was clearly excited to have gained access to Harry's DMs posted a screenshot of her chat with him. She compliments him, and he says “faaaaaanks”, lol, she asks him who Golden is about (??? girl WYD???) and he replies “hiiiiii not telling you.” Funny that, I could have sworn there were loads of articles that have the answer to this and it was super public knowledge or something, HUH HOW ODD. Almost like that's ...not true? Peculiar!

#liam payne #harry styles #Niall Horan #Louis Tomlinson #happy hour podcast #gotta say the outsider perspective of liam's trip to texas last year is not of uh happy memories #everything seemed so weird and off and he was drinking so heavily and there was that whole thing #where they got in a fight with a bouncer and tmz.... UGH #but that said everything he said hangs together as plausible and not announcing it for a while is consistent with the things he told us #about him and cheryl deciding when to announce their split and faking it for a while for instance #what I mean is I'm not saying you shoud believe in Liam and Maya's relationship (or Chiam) just that #this info does in fact hang together with previous stuff #laya #19 nov 20 #tw perscription meds #tw substance abuse #long post #SORRY OOPS #fyi the person who he says bulies him but like in a cool way! is his manager :((((( didn't mean for that to get edited out damn

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renegadewangs · 3 years

Text

Van Zieks - the Examination, part 7

Warnings: SPOILERS for The Great Ace Attorney: Chronicles. Additional warning for racist sentiments uttered by fictional characters (and screencaps to show these sentiments).

Disclaimer: (see Part 1 for the more detailed disclaimer.) - These posts are not meant to be taken as fact. Everything I’m outlining stems from my own views and experiences. If you believe that I’ve missed or misinterpreted something, please let me know so I can edit the post accordingly. -The purpose of these posts is an analysis, nothing more. Please do not come into these posts expecting me to either defend Barok van Zieks from haters, nor expecting me to encourage the hatred. - I’m using the Western release of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for these posts, but may refer to the original Japanese dialogue of Dai Gyakuten Saiban if needed to compare what’s said. This also means I’m using the localized names and localized romanization of the names to stay consistent. -It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you like Barok van Zieks or dislike him. However, I will ask that everyone who comments refrains from attacking real, actual people.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Back to the second game we go for The Return of the Great Departed Soul! (Part one, this is another two-parter case)

Episode 2-3: The Return of the Great Departed Soul

So now, chronologically, six months have passed since The Unspeakable Story. Susato returned to Japan at the end of the first game and hasn't returned yet. Ryu was reprimanded for all the perjury and the questionable McGilded defense, so he had his right to stand in court revoked for now and instead had to focus on studying English law some more. He's done so quite patiently and now he feels he's ready to return. He just needs to get Stronghart's permission first. Meanwhile, the Great Exhibition is happening in Hyde Park, pulling in visitors and scientists from all over the world. Exciting! (S)Holmes hands Ryu a newspaper with an article on the exhibition, talking about how the brighter things shine, the darker the shadows cast behind them. By now, Ryu is fluent enough in (S)Holmes speak to know this means he should flip over the newspaper. There, we find an article of an entirely different sort.

So not only was Van Zieks apparently attacked, Ryu shows horror and concern at the notion. No hard feelings from our wholesome boy! (S)Holmes explains that London's finest criminals often find ways to get acquittals from trials through bribery, threats, sham witnesses... We saw this in McGilded, of course, so we know all too well how dangerous that can get. But since the Reaper and his curse are immune to such tactics, when a ringleader or fellow ends up being 'taken' by the curse, retaliation can occur. So it's established that this isn't the first time Van Zieks has been attacked by a group of thugs. Fortunately, Van Zieks is an “accomplished combatant” who doesn't take these attacks lying down. Unfortunately, the thugs were carrying guns this time. Uhoh.

This warms my heart, it really does. Van Zieks has been a terrible scumbag, but Ryu doesn't think he's gotten his comeuppance at all. He's genuinely concerned for this man and intends to find out more about his condition. So since he was planning to meet with Stronghart and ask for attorney permission anyway, it's the perfect opportunity to also ask about Van Zieks! Iris decides to tag along because she wants to visit the Great Exhibition. Let's shove the newspaper in Stronghart's face as soon as the game allows it.

The phrasing of “number one prosecutor” is interesting, but then... We never learn of any other (living) veteran prosecutors in this country, so of course Van Zieks would be number one. Stronghart says there's no need for concern; Van Zieks would not be so easily dispatched. Street ruffians are no match for him, since he's a very capable fighter. Seems like that sword he carries around isn't just for show after all. As for why he was attacked this time... Well, a month ago Van Zieks prosecuted a leader of a criminal organization. Nice to know he didn't just return to retirement and instead got back to work like a normal person without cherrypicking his cases based on what Ryu's doing. The defendant was acquitted, no doubt thanks to large sums of money being shifted around behind the scenes, but he still met a dramatic end just yesterday during an accident at the Great Exhibition. The man in question was Odie Asman, and the one now being detained on suspicion of murder without a defense attorney is Professor Albert Harebrayne. Albert's case has just been assigned to Ryu, so we're sure to find out more about Asman as we go. As as final touch, Ryu asks Stronghart why he continues to use Van Zieks as a prosecutor. Since the criminals are becoming fearful of the curse and attacking him, it's dangerous to Van Zieks himself. Stronghart explains that he has two reasons: Firstly, Van Zieks is the best prosecutor in the capital, bar none. And secondly, any deaths that have occurred outside the courtrooms after his trials have nothing to do with him. (S)Holmes alluded to the same thing, saying that Van Zieks had a rock-hard alibi for each and every mysterious death.

“So he will continue to prosecute on behalf of the Crown. ...Unless he wishes otherwise, of course.” With that, Stronghart admits he needs to get going since he's already 11 hours late to his next appointment (fsdkjfls). Ryu asks where he might be able to find Van Zieks and is told to head to his office. So even after being told that Van Zieks is just fine, Ryu is still concerned and wants to discuss the matter with the man himself. Let's gooo! Naturally, the first thing out of Van Zieks's mouth when he catches Ryu and Iris in his office is to wonder what the heck they're doing here.

So there's several things of interest in the office, with the game automatically addressing the biggest one: Van Zieks has an apprentice now! It's a mysterious, rigid dude wearing a hood and a mask who is absolutely not familiar to us, nope. We don't know him. Gosh, what a mystery. Van Zieks doesn't seem to know who he is either, instead just referring to him as his apprentice and nothing more.

Ryu sees this as an opening to ask about the attack on the Reaper that was in the newspaper. Van Zieks admits that he too is very interested in the true identity of the Reaper. “Assuming, that is, such a fabled fiend genuinely inhabits our great courtrooms.” The conversation halts for a moment so we can examine the office and this is the best opportunity for humanizing traits we've gotten so far, so LET'S DO IT! The enormous portrait in the back is the first thing to peek at.

Iris says whoever painted it exaggerated the subject's handsomeness, which in turn is reminiscent of Napoleon ordering the painter to make him look more attractive. That's super vain and not an attractive quality in a person at all. I laughed the whole way through that bit of dialogue and Van Zieks, who was in earshot the entire time, gets his feathers ruffled.

When Ryu asks who it is then, Van Zieks doesn't reply. BACKSTORY ALERT! Examining the chalices and bottles on the left leads to Van Zieks explaining the hallowed bottles are filled with the finest grapes from the finest vineyards he visits (so it is grape juice!!!) and he personally oversees the chalices being made by the finest crystal craftsmen in the world. Right, so not only is he filthy stinkin' rich, he's a perfectionist. Iris points out that Van Zieks throws the chalices and bottles around like they're worthless, to which Van Zieks says:

“Before you open your mouth next time, you should consider the poor artisans whose work you defile.”

As it turns out, passive aggression is contagious now. Ryu replies with a “So it's my fault? Silly me! How could I ever have thought otherwise?” and honestly I love that he's got enough guts to say this out loud. Our boy is growing a spine. Examining the wine casks has Ryu and Iris theorize about how there might be dead bodies in there, which once again ruffles Van Zieks's feathers.

Snrk. Examining the big diorama in the middle of the room has Ryu and Iris wonder whether Van Zieks can't go to the Exhibition in person and this is his way of dealing with that, which has Van Zieks snap that it's obviously an investigative aid. He even has pets of sorts in his office, in the form of a couple of bats hanging from the curtains. Alright, so the game's definitely humanizing this poor man now. No matter how many crazy stories Iris and Ryu come up with about him, there's usually a very innocent explanation to debunk the eerie myths. Something particularly interesting happens when Ryu shows Van Zieks his defense attorney armband. Van Zieks asks what the reason is for showing it to a British prosecutor, to which Ryu admits that he doesn't quite know. Van Zieks is silent for a bit, then says that he understands. “There's merit in reminding yourself of who helped you become what you are today.”

As he says it, he reaches for his prosecutor's badge and if you're aware of the backstory, you'll know he's thinking of Klint. More importantly, this conversation puts Ryu and Van Zieks on the same level. Ryu is always thinking of Kazuma, who 'helped him become who he is today' and the armband signifies this, along with the sword. Similarly, Van Zieks lost someone very close to him and he's walking the path of prosecutor in his brother's memory. Ryu thanks Van Zieks for understanding and it's very significant that Van Zieks understands in the first place. Remember, in the first game he was under the impression that a Japanese person could never understand a British person and vice versa.

Showing Van Zieks the newspaper article has him looking a bit embarrassed, pointing out that a reporter must've been nearby and he'd been careless to let himself get photographed. Either way, all the thugs responsible have already been apprehended. The investigation into Odie Asman's activities meant that their arrests were already imminent anyway, and some hoped to kill Van Zieks before that happened. Much like McGilded, Asman used his wealth to buy his way towards an acquittal in court, but “he got his comeuppance in the end.” Which is strange, right? Very suspicious. Van Zieks asks whether Ryu believes he has some sort of divine ability to make an accident like that happen. Ryu admits that would be far-fetched, and thinks to himself that even if Van Zieks were the Reaper, he'd have to be innocent of this particular death. We also learn that Van Zieks is familiar with Professor Harebrayne, the suspect in the Asman incident. When told that Ryu will be taking on the defense, Van Zieks is shocked.

Van Zieks goes on to explain that he knows Albert quite well. They were at university together. While he's lived in Germany for quite a few years, Albert is actually from a respectable British family. And despite Albert being in the science faculty and Van Zieks in law, they got along quite well. Now he's in pretty hot water for that Asman accident.

Hm. I don't quite know what to make of this reaction. I think what's going on here isn't that Van Zieks is rattled because Albert is being defended by a Japanese person, but because he's being defended by a rookie attorney who was just disbarred for six months for accidentally encouraging perjury, false witness and crime scene tampering in a court of law. Yes, Ryu has won his trials every single time, but it came at a price. Aside from this, there's one other thing Van Zieks knows about Ryu: he'll pursue the truth, no matter what. This means that if Albert indeed didn't succeed at inventing teleportation, it'll be revealed in court because exposing shams is Ryu's whole deal.

We learn that Van Zieks will be the one to prosecute Albert tomorrow, which is curious to say the least. Ryu wants to know why he'd do something like that, with Iris pointing out that so long as the Reaper is the prosecutor, Albert is doomed. Van Zieks replies that he's a Crown prosecutor and a mortal like any other; he's no demigod. In other words, he doesn't believe the curse to be a real curse. Iris points out that everyone who's been prosecuted by Van Zieks has died (which is already objectively wrong), to which Van Zieks replies that he usually prosecutes the vilest wretches of society.

… Harsh. Ryu points out that Soseki wasn't a vile wretch though, with Iris chiming in that Gina's also turned her life around and she's working very hard now. Van Zieks admits that things have changed ever since meeting Ryu- which of course has to do with Van Zieks's need to face Ryu in court even in mediocre trials rather than pursue his usual corrupted targets- but the point is that if any of those vile wretches died in mysterious circumstances, it was “at the hand of their own kind”, not Van Zieks's. So basically, he believes that they were killed because they were dubious people engaged with dubious activities, not because of the Reaper's curse. Not only that, but ever since the rumors of the Reaper began, the number of serious crimes in London has decreased significantly. Even the most hardened criminals can be made fearful of their lives. Therefore, if his pseudonym of the Reaper can serve a useful purpose, he'll “adopt it gladly and with honour”. Ryu repeats that which he already told Stronghart; that it's putting Van Zieks in danger.

He really is a prosecutor on the edge with nothing to lose, huh. So what Van Zieks is basically saying is that he doesn't care if he dies, so long as he spends the rest of his life serving the 'useful purpose' of carrying the Reaper moniker to intimidate the vilest of society. But is that really all there is to it? (Spoilers: It's not)

There's a bit more talk about the mysterious apprentice here, with Van Zieks explaining the man was placed in his care under Stronghart's orders. He's wearing a mask on Stronghart's orders and also doesn't speak to anyone from outside the office on Stronghart's orders. HM. Van Zieks claims that Stronghart isn't one for “meaningless follies”, therefore he must have a good reason. This implies that Van Zieks believes in Stronghart's judgment almost blindly. To round up the conversation, Van Zieks asks about “that Nipponese man. The one arrested twice in succession six months ago. With the stoop. And the moustache. And the jitters.” Looks super offensive at first glance, but I gotta admit, after six months I wouldn't remember Soseki's name either. Better to describe him than to guess the name and get it wrong. Still though, just because it's not super offensive doesn't mean it's not offensive. Just saying “the one you defended six months ago” would've done the trick. Either way, Ryu says he's doing just fine and a letter from him arrived by post just the other day.

So this is interesting. Earlier, Van Zieks claimed in his own words that he doesn't believe in the curse and those who died had it coming to them, but he's still inquiring after Soseki. Perhaps not so much because he's worried about Soseki himself, but because he's curious whether this man has successfully escaped the curse so far. He would know that for a fact about Gina, but the only way to verify Soseki's status is to ask Ryu about it.

Time to leave this glass cage of exposition and meet the defendant in person! Albert spouts a whole lot of dialogue about how his machine is treated differently depending on whether the case is treated as an accident or as murder. If it's murder, it can be examined up close and that's what Albert doesn't want. It has to be treated as an accident so that it'll be protected from prying eyes through The Special Dispensation for Scientific Equipment Act (wow that's a mouthful). Of course, that's not entirely what we're interested in. Let's ask about his friendship with Van Zieks! Ryu asks what he was like back in his university days and the answer surprises him.

HAH, wonderfully written exchange, this one. Albert goes to describe him as “the little darling of the Van Zieks family, with all its great aristocratic origins”. So Van Zieks has some very noble blood in him. We could've already guessed this from his title of Lord, but apparently it's a bit more serious. I could derail here with wild theories about his family originating from the Netherlands and having migrated to the UK around the time the first king of the Netherlands, Willem I van Oranje Nassau, rose to power in 1813. Willem changed the way nobility works to some degree in the country and not all noble families would've agreed with his way of doing things. But anyway, point is, Van Zieks is a big shot. Albert says that it was kind of a shock to him when he came back to Britain and discovered 'what Van Zieks had become'. He heard that there was 'a very big event' that completely changed Van Zieks after his graduation, but doesn't know what it was because he was already in Germany at the time. So here we have some more traces of that backstory and we have enough pieces to start sticking some things together. We know Van Zieks was once betrayed by a friend and we now know he was a very modest, pleasant gentleman when he was young. Whatever happened must've been very harsh indeed to turn him into such a sour lemon. Either way, Albert doesn't seem to know yet that Van Zieks will be the prosecutor and Ryu doesn't have the heart to tell him.

So let's investigate the crime scene! Here, it's confirmed that Gina Lestrade is indeed just fine and now in training to become a detective with Gregson. Cute! So eventually we get to talk to Gregson about Van Zieks and how he's acquainted with Albert. Gregson is overdramatically shocked to find out that the two of them are old buddies.

Remember when Van Zieks took a five year hiatus and nobody had to mysteriously die from the Reaper's curse? Those were the days, eh Gregson? Now he's even prosecuting his own friends willy-nilly. Gregson states he has no idea what goes on in Van Zieks's head (a sentiment we've heard before in 1-4) and goes on to bring up the newspaper article about Van Zieks being attacked. When told that our good old pal the Reaper is just fine, Gregson utters a very uncomfortable “glad to hear it” which honestly had me wondering whether he'd preferred Van Zieks to die.

Up until a certain someone gets killed and stuffed into a suitcase, I'd reckon. Gregson says that Van Zieks is a top class prosecutor, but not even he can always push the right verdict through. “Sometimes justice can't win.” Gregson explains that naturally, Scotland Yard suspected Van Zieks at first and assumed he was taking matters into his own hands. There was a very thorough investigation and the outcome was that Van Zieks was in no way related to the mysterious deaths. So that's three people now who all insist Van Zieks couldn't possibly have committed the murders. Gregson says he's willing to stake his reputation on it, even. Of course, Gregson would know for sure, wouldn't he? But the narrative is telling us over and over that Van Zieks himself isn't the Reaper, with even Van Zieks himself implying he'd like to know just who the Reaper is. There's a conspiracy happening that Van Zieks is the centerpiece of, with the narrative really pushing the mystery aspect of it. The writers want us to care about the truth of the Reaper for sure.

OOOH that's meta! Ryu, being nosy and overly invested in Van Zieks's life, asks Gregson whether he knows about the 'incident' which changed Van Zieks after graduation.

Okay he clearly knows. Even a first time player can tell from this single reaction that Gregson's lying. The mystery thickens! At the end of the conversation, when Gregson's gone off, Iris recommends asking (S)Holmes about it instead. Safe bet, since (S)Holmes continuously knows more than he's letting on. To the house of wax we go! When asked about it, it's clear that he does know something (and is described as suddenly clamming up), but before he can explain there's a distraction in the form of Madam Tusspells and we have to sit through a mostly-unrelated Joint Reasoning segment. It leads into a conversation about a mass murderer known as the Professor. Ten years ago, there was a series of murders which rocked the capital right around the time Van Zieks graduated from university. Five people were killed before the man was caught and executed. This fifth victim was Klint van Zieks, Barok's older brother.

I really, really dislike this phrasing because Van Zieks was already studying law to begin with. He'd just graduated as a prosecutor; his brother's death had nothing to do with him pursuing that path. Anyway...

OOOH that's meta! So remember way back in the first essay when I said the backstory is optional? Well, here it is. The Great Ace Attorney is going all in for it. It's being tied to the ongoing plot, just as pretty much all the main prosecutor backstories are. Edgeworth's backstory is tied to Von Karma being the final boss, Godot's backstory is tied to the Fey lineage, Klavier's backstory (I say this lightly) is tied to Phoenix's disgrace... Now Van Zieks's story is tied to the serial killer who ruined so many lives a decade ago. And technically, we already have all the puzzle pieces we need for the next twist; we know Van Zieks was betrayed by a Japanese person who was his friend. So really, we can now say with absolutely certainty that the man arrested and executed back then was a Japanese buddy of Van Zieks.

The investigation segment is pretty much over, but the game has one more scene for us. This is something Ryunosuke won't witness, but the scriptwriters deemed it so important that we're ignoring Ryu to focus solely on the two characters involved. And cutting away from our main character is something that usually doesn't happen in Ace Attorney. Even when characters like Phoenix or Ryu are out of commission for whatever reason, a new 'main character' takes over for a second and we see everything from their point of view. I can think of only one other scene viewed without Ryu there, which happened in 1-5 just before Susato had to leave London. So what we have here is a very private moment between Van Zieks and Albert.

AWWW... The scenes in the office were great and all, but this right here is perhaps the most humanizing exchange we'll ever see with Barok. The reason for that, I think, is precisely because Ryu isn't there. He's alone with an old friend now, which means he can let his guard down more than he usually would. Even so, it's worth noting here that he doesn't look directly at Albert. He stands with his back to him the entire time and I'm certain this is intentional, because they could just as easily have rotated him into that sideways view that's often used in dialogue and courtroom scenes. He made his way down to the gaol to speak with his friend after ten long years, but is reluctant to look right at him. The conversation itself feels rather distant as well. Albert is delighted to see Van Zieks, but the sentiment isn't returned vocally. Van Zieks points out that they're meeting again “in prison of all places” and that the court will decide Albert's fate tomorrow. When Van Zieks raises a warning, Albert says he already knows his friend will be prosecuting and doesn't appear bothered at all at first. He does try to raise a question in the form of “Are you really...?”, but ultimately drops it and says that he knows Van Zieks has his best interests at heart. Van Zieks says he wouldn't entrust the trial of his friend to anyone else, and Albert thanks him for that. So my first guess upon taking in that dialogue is that Albert wonders for a brief moment whether Van Zieks really is the Reaper/really is cursed, only to shake it off because he considers the man his friend. Van Zieks seems to know it's risky to prosecute Albert, but deems it more important to handle the case himself than to let someone else do it. This, as we learn later, has to do with the Special Dispensation for Scientific Equipment Act and the protection of Albert's scientific secrets.

Next day, we're at the Old Bailey! In the defendant lobby, Ryu is once again told by Albert that the true goal to aim for in this trial is to protect his scientific hypothesis. So hypothetically speaking, the ideal outcome here would be to prove the death was accidental and that the kinesis was a success at the same time. (S)Holmes and Iris don't believe Albert's theory to be sound though, instead saying it couldn't possibly be done. In the courtroom, Ryu faces off against Van Zieks once more for the first time in six months! The judge is quick to point out that Odie Asman is a name familiar to him; a man who was prosecuted only a month ago by Van Zieks. When he asks whether this death is the work of the Reaper, Van Zieks instead describes it as “divine retribution”, but also “a direct result of the actions of the accused, Professor Albert Harebrayne”. The prosecution asserts that the instantaneous kinesis demonstration was a success. He himself can't say for certain whether it's a sound theory, but it's being investigated by the British government since it was deemed to have potential and the prosecution's case aligns with the notion that there was indeed instantaneous- You know what? Let's just call it teleportation. That's easier to type.

Unfortunately, Van Zieks doesn't want to follow the accident angle. Instead, he outright accuses his old friend of murdering Asman using the totally-functional-teleportation-machine-which-totally-worked to be the sole benefactor of a scientific grant. Harsh. Very harsh. I don't entirely understand why he didn't pursue the accident angle instead, but then, I don't quite know enough about law. My guess is that as the prosecution, he's not allowed to. Scotland Yard found enough evidence at the scene to substantiate a murder plot, especially that damning screwdriver that Ryu so graciously handed to Gregson, so that's what the prosecution has to go with, maybe? It's up to the defense attorney to debunk that down to an accident, then, so in essence Van Zieks is counting on Ryu to 'defeat him' and prove the murder aspect wrong. It would align with the conversation Albert had with Van Zieks in prison, where he said that 'it was a terrible accident and the young Eastern man acting as his defence assured him that he can prove it'.

So speaking of that screwdriver, Albert tries to discredit it himself by saying that if he had stabbed Asman on the stage, there would've been a whole lot of blood. Van Zieks pours himself a glass of wine and 'congratulates' his friend on a good rebuttal.

“Here's to you, Albert!”

Albert laughs it off sheepishly, saying he's nothing compared to “Barok” (awww, first name basis), but a chalice is immediately flung. Van Zieks says Albert neglected to mention one crucial possibility, which is that the lack of blood is explained by the notion that the screwdriver remained in the victim's chest to plug the wound. Therefore, since the demonstration was totally a success, the screwdriver was teleported along with the victim. Ryu thinks to himself that he had no idea the victim had been stabbed and wonders whether Van Zieks kept that information to himself to keep the upper hand on purpose. This whole thing jars me a little, because the screwdriver is brought up relatively early in the trial during the very first cross-examination. Is not mentioning it during the opening statement and waiting for Gregson to bring it up three minutes later really the same as 'keeping it to himself to gain the upper hand'?

Either way, Ryu counters, saying that the screwdriver was found at the stage and therefore didn't teleport at all, with Gregson serving as an official witness to this location. It's pretty clear from the next dialogue that Gregson never told Van Zieks where that screwdriver was found.

“That you contravened the Special Dispensation for Scientific Equipment Act?”

Gregson is immediately up in arms, but it's fine. There was no investigation needed to find a screwdriver lying in plain sight. So now Ryu decides to tighten the screws. He claims that if the prosecution can't explain the inconsistency (the screwdriver being found on the stage but no blood being there so clearly it must've plugged the wound), the testimony is unreliable. Van Zieks doesn't reply and Ryu thinks to himself that he looks stumped, but uh...

He just looks annoyed to me. The person to object next is not Van Zieks, it's Albert. He says that metal can't be teleported with the machine, so it only makes sense the screwdriver stayed behind and there's no inconsistency at all. Van Zieks suggests: “Clearly we should hear the accused's explanation. … Or should I say, this brilliant scientist's explanation?” And I think here in these two sentences we have the crux of the issue. Albert wants to be treated as a legitimate scientist above all else. Even if that means he's branded a murderer, so long as his hypothesis is protected and the confidentiality stands, it makes no difference to him. This was likely discussed with Van Zieks the night before as well. Albert is apparently willing to die for the sake of his scientific principles and... Well. I'm sure Van Zieks can understand. He's willing to die for the sake of serving the Reaper purpose. In a way, this means the defendant and the prosecution are in cahoots together, which is another first in Ace Attorney history. The two of them are fighting to keep the hypothesis of teleportation intact and if Ryu manages to prove that it was an accidental death, then great! Unfortunately, the second that screwdriver was discovered, the chances of that became slim to none. It was murder, plain and simple. On a sidenote, I found this little gem:

I'm counting this as humanization, because the underlying sentiment here is that despite his haughty better-than-thou attitude, Van Zieks is still friends with someone so very scatterbrained, his name is forgotten sometimes. Even Ryu is taken aback by the purity of the friendship.

Heh heh... Time to cause some more havoc by informing the court that Asman's metal-rimmed glasses were still on his face and since Albert already said metal can't be teleported, his hypothesis is a load of tosh. The jurors go up in arms about it, saying the machine should be stripped down and examined. The game gives Ryu the option to either raise an objection or 'wait and see', but this is another one of those fake choices. Waiting and seeing just leads to a bit more dialogue between the jurors before Ryu steps in of his own accord. He says Albert would have no reason to build such an elaborate fake machine and put on a public display for murder, but Van Zieks counters with the very good reason: Money. The jurors are even more outraged, calling him a fake scientist who's only in it for the guineas, and Albert begs them to believe that his science is built upon a sound hypothesis. Van Zieks comes in to 'save the day' (sort of).

“The fact remains that the victim was transported instantly to the Crystal Tower. Which means that the experiment... was a success.”

And I gotta say, this next bit is just very enjoyable to me. The way it's written is so great.

HEH HEH.... Van Zieks has some more witnesses to summon who saw the incident from some 'very special seats', but let's end the essay here for now and pick it back up next time!

#dgs #dgs spoilers #tgaa #tgaa spoilers #barok van zieks

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deluweil · 3 years

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Ok, so I finally watched the episode - (I slept in really late today, it was amazing) and learned how to do an under the cut - because this is going to be very long - I will not start with buddie, or how sweet exhausted Madney are, or how I feel bad for Albert who has the same grievances as Buck did while recuperating, or how I was happy to see more of Mrs. Lee.

I want to start by how completely shattered I was by watching Nia leave, I literally had to pause because I was crying like a baby and couldn’t bring myself to move on and change the mood.

I am happy that Nia’s mom is just a woman who had trouble to provide for herself and her baby, especially with the pandemic hitting around that time, and that Nia will be happy and safe with her mom, but I was absolutely heartbroken for Hen and Karen and even while I’m writing this I’m tearing up again.

I do love that while Karen managed to bring Hen around to foster kids again, I actually asked out loud “what about Denny?” - I love that they sat down with him and asked for his opinion, because this involves him too.

Which is btw, in complete parallel to Edmundo not asking or talking to Christopher about how he feels about him dating again, or bringing her to the house to crash movie nights - because it involves him too and we get no resolution on that particular end to this day.

I have to say that the side stories, while emotional in nature - the flashbacks of complete strangers felt unnecessary - and after pretty much crying my eyes out for Nia and the Wilsons, the side stories felt like a waste of time.

Watching Athena and May finally ‘have it out’ over May’s suicide attempt from S1 was so overdue, and I’m glad we got to see it. Athena’s overreaction and May’s lack of understanding where her mom is coming from was a stepping stone for Athena to have a talk with Bobby that allows her to forgive herself if only a little and for May to show growth on two fronts -

1. she gave a second chance to a high school bully. - High school is a breeding ground for bullies and victims, it’s only when we see the world through the eyes of an adult, especially through May’s who’s working in dispatch and having weekly therapy sessions - I love that she is being the bigger person here and allows that horrible girl - who may have changed into a better adult - another chance.

2. Working in dispatch also allows May to go back to the worst day of her mother’s life and hear just exactly what happened, and that allows a second kind of growth - she shows compassion and understanding towards Athena, she now knows what happened and how her steel made mom shattered to pieces because she thought she lost her daughter. - I love how May comes into the house and just hugs her mom and apologizes - the story was very well written.

Madney - was super adorable, my own sister recently had a second baby, brother to a 2yo toddler who’s new favorite word is ‘No’, so the exhausted parents sight was very familiar.

I love that both of them returned to work, personally I don’t know if I would have been able to leave so quickly after giving birth (here maternity leave is 3 months most mothers extend to 6 months or even a year.) but it’s good, in my eyes, that both parents got to get back to normal life, breath some air outside crying, feeding and diaper changes.

Also important to remember - it really does take a village, and I’m glad they showed it here too. I absolutely adore Mrs. Lee, she’s a sweetheart. I found it so funny when Chimney, in his exhausted state said “strangers” and seconds later realized he insulted his adopting mother, I really laughed a lot.

I also love that Albert moved in with the Lee’s, he will finally have a place where he will not feel guilty about lying and resting while the rest of the house members deal with a newborn baby on top of everything. I hope his return to normal will be easier than Buck’s. On the plus side he’s not working yet so no one can tell him no. ;)

Buddie had me breathing new life this episode, the “she looks like Buck when he’s gassy” (like dude why do you know that?), the “I’ll take it as a complement” retort and Eddie’s fond smile response.

Eddie looking to Buck with the saw with a confident look, to get the lady who was unfortunately pinned to the donkey off with the door. I have to point out that Eddie’s uncertain, sympathetic, I know how you feel look, when the lady talked about no matter what she does it’s wrong - giving me all the signs I need to know that things with Christopher are not ok. and exactly as the fics tell it, Chris is not happy with his dad’s life’s choices right now and it bleeds into everyday life stuff too.

The quarter life crisis- I loved that call!! - Buck says it’s a real thing from experience - God knows we all saw it (also I may have had it myself 😂) and Eddie (or was it Ryan?) laughing again with that fond look of his when it involves Buck.

And the best part - can’t you both be good cop? - Buck and Eddie’s simultaneous “NO” was so Awesome!! I watched it again and again and again and laughed a lot. But what stood out the most it that no one retorts that Buck is not a parent, or ask how he could possibly know that, there was only slightly confused look from Chimney, who looked thoughtful 0.01s later and a Bobby knows look, Hen doesn’t even dignifies these moments with a response anymore because she definitely knows!

Also loved Eddie flirting with Buck a moment later saying “curious to see what your definition of too much discipline is.” - Yes my loves that is very much flirting, there will be no discussion here. - I love that Buck’s response is a smile and a tilt of the head to the side, you can see Buck’s expression even under the mask.

It wasn’t a lot of buddie, but the scenes themselves were huge, in my eyes buddie is alive and well and if you can’t see it, I advise you to go to station 19, check out the brother connection between Miller and Gibson, or Strike Back’s Scott and Stonebridge, or Teen Wolf Scott and Stiles then compare it to Eddie and Buck’s, and only after you’ve done that come back and tell us we’re seeing things 🙃

I would have addressed that poor excuse for a scene (1-2 seconds was it?) between Edmundo and she who I refuse to name (rebounds are usually forgotten very quickly, I already forgot her 😈) but the only 3 things worth mentioning is that:

1. That scene in the promo where she cuddles up to him and looks happy? They cut it in editing.

2. Christopher interrupts them, as always. She allows him to join them even though it’s a school night and she didn’t even look at Eddie before she did.

And last but not least - The amazing Christopher in being seated, By Eddie, between them. - Also he (Eddie) does not look happy about it, he’s fond with Christopher, but looks confused as hell by her allowing it without asking Eddie.

Now Buck - Buck would have looked to Eddie, and should the answer would have been no, he would have bargained, as we know he does when he babysat last time, and Buck would have gotten Christopher back to bed. - Just saying.

Overall it was a good episode, I liked most of it, kind of reminded me of S1 energy, it felt good. (you know, except for the obvious)

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elisela · 4 years

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in a language you can understand buck x eddie, g, 2k, for anon who asked for Eddie buying little gifts for Buck and hiding them in his work bag

He blames it on hour twenty-three of a twenty-four hour shift when what comes out of his mouth after Chim tosses a bag of Skittles at his face is “I bet I could fit all these in my mouth at once.”

Hen shakes her head, Chim snorts, but Buck narrows his eyes and leans his elbows on the table, pulling himself as close to Eddie as he can get without climbing over the thing. “Coward,” he says, his mouth quirking into a grin, “I bet I could fit two.”

“Not at the station,” Bobby says, sounding bored. “There’s too much paperwork involved if one of you becomes injured on the job, even if it’s your own fault.”

“No, definitely at the station,” Hen says. “There’s more work involved if we have to break in a new probie because one of you idiots chokes to death.”

The conversation drifts, and Eddie forgets about it until he’s at the grocery store later, ignoring the way his son sticks out his lower lip as he begs for a candy bar. When Chris picks up a bag of Skittles, Eddie sighs and says yes, then throws two more bags on the conveyor belt when Chris isn’t looking.

He hides them in Buck’s work bag the next day.

---

“Skip-It,” Hen says, looking wistful. “My neighbor had one when I was a kid and I swear, I used to stare at her for hours when she’d play in the courtyard. I wanted one so badly.”

“Couldn’t you just … skip?” Buck asks, looking confused. “You needed a toy for that?”

Hen rolls her eyes. “It went around your ankle,” she says. “Here, I’ll google it for you.”

“What about you, Cap?” Chim asks, as Buck leans his head in towards Hen to peer at her phone. “Which childhood toy did you miss out on?”

Bobby tilts his head for a moment. “Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots,” he says, refocusing on the pan in front of him. “My Mom thought they were too violent. She’d have a lot to say about what kids are playing with now.”

“Oh, don’t start us on the ‘kids these days’ speech,” Buck groans. “Quick, Eddie, distract him.”

“Uhh,” Eddie says, thinking—he’s sure there are there plenty of toys he’d begged for but never received, but clearly his parents had been right when they said he’d forget about them because he can’t recall a single one, except—“moon shoes,” he says, and at Buck and Hen’s blank look, he appeals to Chim. “You know, they were about four inches tall, like mini-trampolines? My parents said I’d break my ankle.”

“They were probably right,” Buck says. “You know how many calls we get because of trampoline accidents.”

“Alright, Bambi,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Most of us have control over our own limbs. What’s yours, then?”

Buck shrugs. “It’s kinda stupid, but there weren’t any kids in our neighborhood and Maddie wasn’t really into stuff like this, but you remember that game where you had like—a velco glove? And you’d catch a tennis ball?”

“Magic Mitt,” Chim says, snapping his fingers. “I wanted one of those, too. I should buy one for the baby.”

“I’d pay to see a three month old who could catch,” Hen says at the same time as Buck snorts and says, “I bet Maddie will love you throwing a tennis ball at Joy’s head.”

Three weeks later, Eddie’s gently pushing Chris out of the dollar section at Target when he spots a round velcro disc with a tennis ball attached in a bin full of summer games. He grabs two; one gets tossed on the back porch with the rest of Christopher’s outdoor toys, and the other goes in his work bag until it can be transferred to Buck’s locker.

----

The thing is, Eddie’s been in love with Buck for … well. He’d felt something for him right away, the type of attraction that goes beyond surface level, the pull towards another person’s soul, all of Buck’s goodness a lit beacon that illuminated Eddie’s way back to being whole. It was just never the right time, not with all his insecurities, Buck’s insecurities—every time Eddie thought maybe, the universe said not yet. His common sense gave way to guilt when Shannon reappeared, all of Buck’s near-death experiences, the way he so easily lost control of himself when what anchored him was suddenly gone.

It’s not that he thinks they don’t have what it takes to go the distance, but after Shannon—he’s more cautious now. He knows relationships take work and he’s willing to put that in, but he also knows how easily things break, and he’s not about to lose the one shot he has with Buck, so he’s just … waiting for the right time.

It’s probably been the right time for awhile now, but somehow, despite Hen and Chim’s ongoing conversation about who will ask out who first that regularly takes place in front of him (Buck, they unanimously decided), he hasn’t been able to go through with it.

----

After that, it’s little rubber toys that grow in water (shaped like a fireman and a fire truck), a candle that smells like lemon (because Buck had peeled one and eaten it like an orange the week before), a pack of two half-gallon, brown glass jars with “coffee” written on the side after a week that Buck worked three 36 hour shifts, a mini-waffle maker, a jar of Nutella (which Eddie had then been forced to watch Buck lick—so very slowly—off a spoon, an image which had not left his mind for several very long, lonely weeks), a packet of stickers that was surely meant for teachers but Buck immediately started giving out to everyone at the station (Eddie had laughed himself silly at the look on Chim’s face when Buck slapped one of a unicorn that said “great job!” on his uniform shirt and said “great job dating my sister!”), notebooks and silly pens—for months, every time he saw something small and cheap that made him think of Buck, he’d buy it and find a way to hide it in Buck’s bag or locker.

Buck never says anything, but Eddie watches the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he finds something, the way his smile softens into something more private and tender, sees how Buck makes sure he shows whatever it is off in front of Eddie—chugging cold brew straight out of the coffee bottle before he makes a face at the bitter taste, spends hours on the couch playing hangman with Hen in the notebooks, handing her the blue pen with the googly-eyed flamingo on top and keeping the one shaped like a shark for himself, trying to keep a straight face while his shoulders shake with laughter as Bobby reprimands both of them for shooting their coworkers with squirt guns while they run around the fire station. He doesn’t need Buck to say anything—he likes that he doesn’t, that it’s just something between the two of them that Buck doesn’t make into a big deal.

It goes on for so long that it’s almost second nature to pick something up for Buck whenever he goes shopping, and gradually, the gifts get a little more—intentional. A tie-dye hoodie after he sees a picture of an eight year old Buck wearing one (and a matching one for Chris), a “world’s best uncle” mug after Buck worries that Albert sees Joy more than he does and she might start to prefer him, a Greek cookbook after the fifth time they go out to the new restaurant in his neighborhood (Eddie might get more out of that than Buck does considering the sheer amount of baklava that starts appearing at the station—Eddie’s favorite treat).

As it turns out, he thinks about Buck a lot.

-----

“Sasha says you have to get your best friend an extra special Halloween treat,” Chris says, looking over the row of candy carefully.

“Sound like Sasha wants better candy,” Eddie says, grabbing a bag of caramel apple suckers for the station.

And maybe for himself.

Chris gives him a look. “Sasha’s not my best friend,” he says, turning back to the candy. “Buck is.”

“Well, can’t stand in the way of that,” he says. “Go ahead and pick something out.”

Chris finally hands him a bag of fancy marshmallows shaped like mummies, and peers into the cart. “What’d you get him this time?”

Eddie stares at him.

“You always get him something,” Chris says. “He’s your best friend, too, you need to get him something extra special. Hey, maybe you should tell him to get me something special, too.”

“Like he needs any more encouragement,” Eddie says.

On their way through the bakery aisle, he spots frosted cookies with phrases piped onto them; he grabs a witch that says “you’re bewitching” on it, and puts it in Buck’s locker just before the end of their shift.

Buck smiles all the way out to his Jeep.

-----

The week after, it’s a travel coffee mug that says “I think you’re spooktacular” that Buck carries with him on every call for three shifts before Chim puts it in the top rack of the dishwasher and it melts the side.

The pout on Buck’s lips pleases Eddie a little too much. So when he’s browsing the shelves at Target, waiting for Chris to find a costume he finds suitable that is also school appropriate and finds another Halloween themed cup—this time, with “Will you be my boo?” written on it, he only hesitates for a moment before putting it in the cart.

He doesn’t build up the courage to put it in Buck’s bag for two weeks—it’s not until Eddie notices the way that his face falls after six shifts with nothing new appearing in his locker that he shoves it in Buck’s bag after a shift, when Buck runs upstairs to give something to Chim.

They’re saying goodbye to Hen when Buck turns towards him suddenly. “I have something for Chris,” he says, and Eddie’s anxiety spikes when Buck sets his bag down and opens it up. He stares at the cup for a long time, then looks up at Eddie, glances at Hen, and smiles. “Hey, Eddie,” he says, “you wanna go out to dinner with me tomorrow? Like—a date?”

Hen’s bag hits the floor.

“Oh, no,” Eddie says, shaking his head as Buck’s mouth twitches. “No, you don’t get to take credit for this, I practically—that counts as me asking,” he says, waving towards the bag. “I asked you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Buck says, tossing a paper bag at him before standing up and clapping him on the shoulder. “Pick you up at six?”

“I’ll pick you up because I asked you,” he says, looking over at Hen. “I did. Show her the cup, Buck.”

“Dress warm, we’re going to a corn maze,” Buck says, skipping backwards with a wink. “And grab some blankets for your truck!”

-----

The week after their first date, there’s a small framed picture sitting in his locker—Buck with his arm around Eddie’s shoulders at the corn maze, their smiling faces lit by the bonfire, a bottle of beer dangling from Buck’s fingers. The lettering on the frame says “thankful for you” with a tiny leaf etched next to it.

Eddie sets it out on their reception table two years later.

#buddie #buddie fic #911fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #i told you guys i'd make up for the touch-starved one #here is 2k of endless fluff that will rot your teeth out #and bonus halloween because it's spooky season #it's crying over eddie diaz hours #eli writes

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