#an honest to god meteorite

[scorpiomother]

IN LUST WE TRUST (pt. one)

･ﾟ★ . this is some visionary shit. been tryna film pleasure with my eyes wide shut, but it keeps on moving

summary: they don’t know one thing about each other, but they do know that they want each other. bad. little do they know, they are at the mercy of an influx of hormones caused by a radioactive spider.

pairing: mcu!peter parker x f!silk reader

word count: 9.7k

warnings: explicit content. minors dni (+18) mentions of weed and anxiety. partaking in alcohol. copious amount of sexual pining (maybe too much oops xx). taking peter’s virginity. unprotected public sex w/ a stranger. not sex pollen but basically.

curated vibes: novacane. pyramid. stargirl interlude. 

masterlist 𓆩♡𓆪 read on ao3 𓆩♡𓆪  kofi 𓆩♡𓆪 series mlist

HAVE MERCY

Peter wanted his first time to be with a girl he loved. Special like first times are supposed to be.

He didn’t know what had come over him, but he couldn’t stop himself. Before he knew it, she was bruising his neck and all he could do was crumble into her. Inhale her intoxicating scent and bury his face into her chest. Give her the same marks she gave him…

 It felt almost inevitable, somewhat of a mysterious plan orchestrated by the stars. It was like two meteorites colliding, something you can’t see until it’s too late. A lust-filled collision leaving no casualties. At least that was the only sensible way to explain how he could fuck someone he just met. 

Though to his credit, this was the second time he ran into her. Unfortunately, it still didn’t excuse the fact that she was still a stranger.

It must’ve been the universe throwing him a bone— this fate led entanglement. Not the burning tingle in his hands, nor the sensory overload throwing Peter into a haziness that he was going to regret later. He desperately needed to think that he was a victim in all of this to live with himself.

All he wanted was some weed. How was he supposed to know he was going to lose his virginity in the bathroom of a hole-in-the-wall bar?

It started three days ago. The encounter wasn’t supposed to be as unnerving as it was, but the way his mouth got dry being in the same vicinity as her was enough to make him feel weird. If he was being completely honest, he felt like a creep taking advantage of the situation.

Taking the subway was a rare circumstance that Peter had ditched years ago, finding it way faster and more convenient to use his spider abilities. But the night before, Peter had been slaving away to finish his biochem lab and was too tired to put on the suit and use every strain of muscle in him to swing across the city for class. The last time he was sleep deprived and navigating his way through the skyscrapers, he knocked into a billboard like a mosquito on the freeway. So it was easier to walk to the relatively close subway and sit his exhausted ass on the bench until he reached his stop.

But God, was he out of touch with reality. Everyone had come off of work, the afternoon brimming with traffic. Rather than slouching on a seat, he held onto the silvery pole amongst the other hands and tried to take up the least space possible. There was an elbow jammed into his back and a foot on his Converses. The swarm of released students and dull businessmen and grandma’s on a grocery trip had been all too much. The humidity that came from the crowd was quick to reach Peter. He was already uncomfortable and regretting his poor choice.

And then, something he can only describe as his spider senses revved up his already overstimulated mind. Vacuously, his nose twitched. The air around him abruptly became heavy and light all at the same time. The atmosphere claustrophobically nauseating and sticky.

At first, it was dizzying in all the right ways. A soothing kiss on his skin. He began to sigh, his cluster fuck of a brain easing up on him. It was like he was holding his breath and he could finally release it. A sizable weight released off of his shoulders. And then he inhaled— a terrible mistake.

It was like the humidity dissipated within moments until the kiss turned into teeth sinking in his flesh. It bit down hard, canines and all. Utterly piercing. Every particle in him was burning like the air was exchanged for cyanide. 

God, was it incredibly hot. Scalding, really. It took everything in him to not fall to his knees. To not rip off his shirt like a savage caveman searching for the cool air to storm his bare chest. 

All he could think was that he must have been having a panic attack, and somehow, he was supposed to act like he wasn’t feeling everything all at once.

I’m fucking dying. What’s happening to me? Ican’tfuckingbreath.

There was nothing but his heartbeat striking at his eardrums and sweat drenching his skin. It felt like the day he got bit. A pain that felt infinite, tormenting him.

And then everything went silent. The suffocating air was bearable. The iron prick on his skin was less than molten. He came to his awareness, realizing for a nanosecond that there had been a small hand wrapped around his hand instead of the pole. It was the most relief he had felt in what seemed like hours. He didn’t know how she got here, but he was thankful for the slice of grounding she gave him.

“I’m sorry,” her shaky, yet dulcet voice apologized.

“I- um. It’s okay,” he rasped out. 

Her body occupied the space in front of him, her aroma perforating the air around him. The mixture of cinnamon tea and muted roses and an intoxicating other thing made his head spin. She was a breath of roses soaked in spices, a temporary balm to his lungs. 

The whirl of chaos that ensued made his sight obscured by tunnel vision. Somehow it was a small blessing that past the havoc and anxiety, he was able to drink her in. 

She might’ve been the prettiest thing he had seen since MJ.

Her glossy lips and dilated pupils that screamed yearning was stirring his chest into an explosive device, just waiting to detonate. He wanted to look at her until there was nothing to look at anymore. Till there was nothing more to memorize.

It was beginning to feel something close to love at first sight until his cock twitched.

Peter immediately felt a great sense of mortification. He was ashamed. He adjusted his hand on the pole, attempting to make the slightest of room for her to grab so that she didn’t have to touch a creep. But when she removed her hand from his, he could feel the poison leaking into the air again. He was without her and it was painful.

Her hand clasped onto the pole right below Peter’s, the end of his fist slightly rubbing against her thumb and index finger. Her touch was feather light and he quickly regretted making space for her. His twisted mind wanted to take up as much possible space so that she had no choice but to drape over him. 

Peter was biting the bottom of his lip, a scream of agony swelling in his throat. He was in pain and he wanted her to fix it, though he didn’t know exactly how a stranger could fix this sudden fever.

As if the world could see through Peter, the train came to an abrupt stop causing a slight commotion in the train. There were slight murmurs and shifting of the feet. The displeased groans and the rough noise of metal scrapping and squeaking. But Peter could hardly pay attention to his surroundings. It was all white noise compared to the soft oh that left her velvet lips. On the other hand, fuck was on the precipice of his tongue, the profanity almost being forced out by the sudden contact with her. Her weak grasp on the pole had transcended her stance, causing her to fall into Peter.

Regardless of his discombobulated state, Peter’s spider senses had granted him a hasty reaction. His hand had found her waist in one fast motion as if her body was a sixth sense of his. The understanding of her space and being was a secret language that he was never aware of till now, and he had mastered it in minutes. Maybe it was his heightened sense from the spider bite, but her breath was strained and her heart was in tandem with Peter’s- their pulses far too fast for him to even count. He felt like they were one and the same at that moment. They were two people in an anxious state (if he could call it that) in the same place, at the same time. 

She gasped as her back became flush with Peter’s chest. “Sorry… Again” 

She could have taken it as him helping her regain her balance or to keep her from invading his personal space further, but really he was trying to steer her away from his member. 

“No, I’m sorry.” He said, removing his hand from her. “Didn’t mean to grab you like that.”

Didn’t mean to pop a tent in public is what he really wanted to say. Yes, he didn’t mean to grab her, but he wasn’t actually sorry. He felt no remorse when she felt like that. 

She shook her head, roses further perfuming Peter’s air. 

“It’s not our fault…” She muttered. 

She adjusted herself, attempting to give Peter distance, but failed as the train was at full capacity. He could feel her try to shrink, to remove her ass from his thigh, but she had nowhere else to go. He wanted to repossess her waist and tell her it’s okay. His hand was close to pulling her back in until she was sinking into him completely.

He felt a flurry of emotions, this strange sense of need clawing at his chest for her. His instincts blurred his sensibility and logic. His thoughts weren’t in his possession. They were intrusive and deafening and out of his reach.

He took one sharp inhale to get air, an attempt to be submerged in her field of roses, and the hairs on his neck stood up. He could smell her cunt from this distance and if Peter wasn’t mistaken, she was just as aroused as he was. This felt so sinful to Peter.

Close proximity wasn’t enough. He needed to be in her. 

No. That was wrong. So fucking wrong. He just met her. No, that wasn’t right either. He didn’t meet her. They were just two passengers on a commute home that had no personal interaction. It was just accidents transpiring. An accident to run into her. A mistake to touch her. All a misfortune to his psyche.

But when he looked at her lips, he could swear he could almost taste it. He imagined her cherry-flavored lips adorning his neck, smearing mahogany along his body till he was red all over. Till her lips were wrapped around his…

No, this was so wrong.

And yet she felt so good against him. 

His mind was overflowing with obscenities like water breaking through a dam, something completely out of his control.

She wanted this just as much as he does. How could he explain the arousal dripping between her thighs? If only he could just get closer…

Peter’s head started to hang low. His control was slipping. He felt drunk, acting off of impulse. It was a losing battle of tug-of-war with a horny, roid-raging demi-god cracked out of his goddamn mind at one end and innocent Peter at the other.

His lips felt a magnetic force drawing him to her, the innate desire to drag them along her body consuming him whole. 

Perhaps, she could feel it too, because her gaze had shifted from her feet to Peter, her doe eyes interlocking with his gawking stare. He was drawn to the flutter of her eyelashes and the curious twinkle in her iris. Her pretty little eyes were just tainting his weak mind.

She felt so far away even like this. Inches away and it still wasn’t enough for him. In Peter's mind, her stare was calling out to him like a siren. It’s okay. Touch me. Feel me, she conveyed with her innocent blinks.

There’s something wrong with me, he finalized. 

As she took a hold of his stare, she licked her lips.

It’s the taunting maneuver of the tongue that makes him want to submit to all of the obscene thoughts, but her innocent words that came next shackle him down.

“Are you okay?” She asked, her concern clear on her face.

No, I’m not okay. My heart is going hundreds of miles per minute and I want to fuck you.

God, was this all just so wrong and he knew it.

Beneath his feet, he could feel the brakes rumble beneath the train and prepared to make a break for it before he did something to this innocent woman. He had to force himself out, taking the next stop even if it wasn’t his to take. 

“This is my stop,” he blurted out.

“Oh,” she said, her eyes penetrating through him. 

As her touch detached itself from him, he could feel the ache prickle back up. Fuck.

His focus was collapsing, turning his eyesight into complete mush. His vision blurred just trying to take her in one last time. All of his senses were bursting at the seams and finally gave up, it appeared. It felt like he was malfunctioning. Breaking.

“See ya,” he said absentmindedly, blinking back the fog in a poor attempt to will his vision back to him.

He doesn’t know how he managed to get out, but he does. Instead of her perfume, there’s New York’s signature scent of sewer and trash invading his senses. He can finally breathe, but it doesn’t feel like it as his hands shake and sweat trickles down his face.

There’s a sense of heartbreak when he walks away and he doesn’t know why he yearns for this girl he has no name for. But with the very little control he has, he uses it to propel his feet forward, one after another and didn’t bare to look back. He didn’t know what he would do if he looked back and saw those glassy eyes of hers.

∗ ࣪ ˖༺ 𓆩☆𓆪 ༻˖ ࣪ ∗

After power walking through the city for twenty minutes, he finally reached his dingy apartment. He was profusely sweating and it wasn’t from the trek.

In his own confinement, he immediately wrapped his hand around his aching bulge and tried to find relief, but even after cumming he was left with a guilty conscious and a stubborn hard-on. The worst part was that it didn’t end there.

For the past few days, his intrusive thoughts made him agoraphobic. He didn’t think it was possible for his cock to be the reason for him becoming a complete shut-in, but he also didn’t think it was possible to gain superhero abilities from a spider bite. An ugly rash, maybe, but super strength? Somehow the world kept him on his toes, though unwillingly.

He skipped out on patrol and started using the drop-off option for groceries while he locked himself up in his apartment like a feral animal. It wasn’t right to walk around the city with a raging boner and he wasn’t going to have his mugshot on the Daily Bugle captioned New York’s Newest Perv. He went two full days without leaving, but by Thursday his life as a student had caught up to him. The semester had just started and biochem wasn’t something he could skip out on. Not unless he wanted to go from a hard-earned A to a disappointing B.

During the lecture, he tried really hard to pay attention, but her succulent lips haunted him. 

He was entertaining his dream from last night, a salacious fantasy that kept replaying in his mind. His hands were tied up against the headboard, leaving him completely helpless. No matter how much he pleaded her to stop, she continued to approach him. He shut his eyes until he felt her tongue lap up his precum. By the time he opened them back up, she was bobbing her head up and down on his poor cock for what seemed like hours. When he woke up he was left with cum stained boxers and a pounding heart.

Just imagining it made him hard.

Luckily, his uniform for the time being was an oversized hoodie and sweatpants to hide his looming member. He was past feeling guilty towards the public. If anything this was a medical incident that he couldn’t stop if he tried. His guilt was saved for her.

He attempted to focus on what the professor was saying, but a conversation behind him took the forefront of his hearing. A feminine voice attempted to be discreet, but whispers never got past Peter.

“How much for a couple of ounces?” 

“Jesus, who told you I sell?” Peter recognized the other voice as CJ, someone he had previous classes with, but never talked to.

“Who cares? I got the money,” she said.

CJ scoffed at her pompous remark. “What are you, a narc?” 

“I have a party on Saturday and I promised weed galore.” 

Overhearing the conversation about weed gave him a bright idea that nearly knocked the perma-boner right off of him. Not only was Peter a virgin, but he was also substance free. In spite of that, the prospect of weed sounded exceptional when the excruciating blue balls that he had dealt with for the last seventy-two hours were still going strong.

After class, he shamelessly went up to CJ.

“I heard that you have stuff?” Peter whispered.

“Fuck, you heard that?” CJ laughed.

“Sorry, she was kind of loud,” Peter said modestly. “Can I buy from you?”

“I didn’t know you liked stuff, Peter.”

It was a quick interaction, but it was efficient. They exchanged contacts and scheduled their meet-up for later tonight, being that Peter couldn’t succumb to his cock any longer.

It felt like forever as Peter sank into his bed, waiting for the time to pass by.

Was it possible to crave another person? Every time he closed his eyes, he thought of her. Every time he slept, he dreamt of her. It was a painstaking burden for Peter to have. She changed his whole brain chemistry, igniting this visceral need within him. It was like his body just had to have her. 

He hoped that whatever CJ provided would take his troubles away.

∗ ࣪ ˖༺ 𓆩☆𓆪 ༻˖ ࣪ ∗

“Trying to black out?” The bartender had asked when she requested a long island iced tea.

She shook her head as she handed him the cash she was supposed to use for dinner. She almost didn’t give him the tip after his comment, but her pent-up aggression was out on the world for making her sexually frustrated, not him. Maybe she was trying to black out with the most notorious drink on the menu! Or it was more like she didn’t know what else to order, being that this wasn’t her scene and completely out of her comfort zone.

She sat in the far corner of the space, nursing her potent drink and observing the crowd. Normally people watching was something that she enjoyed and did with ease, but she couldn’t help but wonder what was going on with her. She stopped feeling like herself. She felt mentally out of balance like her consciousness was slipping past her fingers like granules of sand and the fact that she was here was all the verification she needed.

She had never gone to places like this. Bars, clubs, parties. Ever since the whole spider thing, that crowd overstimulated her out of her mind. Hurt too much. Sometimes she even imagined getting out of New York to somewhere quieter.

But there was something pulling her into Pyramid, a flashy bar at first glance, but through the window, she was able to see the lack of young adults. Perhaps, it was that eerie name that made people her age steer clear because it made her want to steer clear from the illuminati-esque name. Yet the irresistible feeling to step in there was present and it wasn’t exactly due to the sign glowing in red that said, GIRLS DRINK FREE ON THU. It flashed brightly, temporarily staining her lids. It didn’t matter what was on the sign. It could have said, SENIORS BINGO NIGHT or ORGY IN PROCESS and she would’ve entered. All that she cared about was that it was an interruption to her sex-crazed mental state, the ruby neon blinding the memory of his large hands on her waist. And for that, they deserved her “service.”

Maybe she did need a drink after the past couple of days. She felt like a puppy in heat. Her skin felt itchy and in the middle of the night, her hand would teleport to the inside of her underwear. She was obsessing over some boy on the train so intensely that it transcended her consciousness, him making a feature in her tantalizing dreams. 

Thinking about the train situation made a chill run up her spine. Just the thought of the throbbing ache from that day brought physical discomfort. 

It was the first time she had left her apartment in days, the overwhelming sense of anxiety and arousal weighing heavy on her chest, and she was spending it at a bar. Initially, she was on a mission to pick up tteokbokki from a neighboring restaurant after realizing she couldn’t DoorDash for a third time today but got distracted by the flashing lights that promised free drinks. She was truly desperate to feel anything other than dread.

Luckily, the atmosphere wasn’t as eerie as its name, but it did feel like she was a part of a secret club with the older crowd fanned out along the tables. It was like only a small set of people in New York knew about this place and that brought it some validity. It was special and it was here, whether she came or not. 

She gulped a couple of ounces down, before placing her cheek in her palm and let her anxiety-ridden knee run free. She felt the alcohol simmer in her body along with the thoughts of the boy on the train that circulated in her mind for the hundredth time today.

∗ ࣪ ˖༺ 𓆩☆𓆪 ༻˖ ࣪ ∗

“Jesus man, you really haven’t gotten any sleep, huh?”

Peter knew he looked bad, but he didn’t think he looked that bad. He was hoping he had that sexy Pete Davidson exhaustion rather than whatever he looked like now, but he was sure Pete Davidson wasn’t governed by his dick like he was.

“Basically,” Peter said before handing CJ the cash. 

The September air was a punch in the stomach, promising a harsh winter in a few months. The back alley where they were doing the exchange was in the perfect position to allow the brisk wind to come and go as it pleased. Peter was glad that the weather had turned from a blistering humidity to a nippy chill, making his thick apparel more than appropriate. Before leaving his apartment, all he could think of was that he should have worn a trench coat to tie the whole sleaze-bag aesthetic together.

“Wanna come in? I can make you a drink, my treat,” CJ smiled warmly, throwing a thumb back to the door that said EMPLOYEES ONLY.

“Ahh you don’t have to do that, I already got everything I wanted,” Peter said, shoving the plastic baggy in his jeans. He felt bad barging on CJ at his place of work, but CJ had been the one to urge Peter over and get his fix. And now that Peter got what he asked for, he just wanted to go home and figure out how to deal with his perma-boner.

“Come on. Best in his class, Peter Parker, spacing out and getting the wrong answers? You sound like you need a drink.” 

“What are you? My dad?” Peter laughed nervously because he didn’t know what else to do with himself. Was it that bad? That his classmate whom he only started talking to for drugs realized his absentmindedness?

He was in no shape to be at a bar right now when he was prone to random boners and heat flashes like a middle-aged woman going through menopause. But when CJ nodded his head to the door and told Peter, come on, his feet followed CJ through the back door.

“Thank you,” Peter said.

“Don’t thank me. Just know that I’m blowing up your phone for biochem questions,” CJ laughed.

Peter didn’t know how to feel about getting scammed into being his weed dealer’s personal google, but at least it didn’t give him a boner. That was a win for Peter.

CJ worked at a small-scale bar, but for a Thursday night, it had a handful of people. It was mostly middle-aged women and senior men, but business was business.

When Peter sat down on the stool to watch CJ he realized that this was his first time in a bar. When you were Peter Parker and Spider-Man on the side, you didn’t have time to enjoy being legal or even a normal young adult. He didn’t know whether to soak it in or shrug his shoulders with nonchalance, but he couldn’t even confront the topic. The air turned hot, impeding his ability to think.

The longer he stayed in the bar, the more he perspired and felt like he was subjugated to poison ivy. It arrived like goosebumps, a faint and chilling sensation, and then the impending irritation to his skin started to flare. He ran his nails across his neck and nearly, yelped at the sensitivity.

He held in an aggravated sigh, feigning normalcy as he could feel a fever forcing its way into him. He wished he had the words to explain what was happening. Was this like a second puberty? Did spiders even experience puberty?

He tried to focus on the various bottles that were behind CJ in hopes of suppressing all of the emerging pain. Bacardi. Pink Whitney. Tito’s. Jack Daniels. Just looking at them made him feel uneasy, despite never having liquor before. It was like mentally reciting the brands was a spell that made him inebriated. Grey Goose. Patron. Hennessey. In Peter’s peripherals, he noticed CJ’s mouth moving.

“Huh?” He said, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“I said, she’s kinda cute. Don’t you think?”

When Peter looked back to the place where CJ’s eyes lingered, his spike in temperature and overall delirium made sense.

In the back of the bar, there she sat alone. The girl who held his accusations and grief. The girl who fired up the appetite in his loins. His heart was a lost puppy reuniting with its owner. He could feel the pulse in his throat as if his heart was ready to evacuate from its cell. His chest was ready to tear, letting the poor heart of his ravage her.

She looked better than she did in his dreams. He was hardly surprised by the spike in his heartbeat and the twitching of his cock as he skimmed over the black mini skirt riding up her bare thigh. He feasted on the sight of her, perhaps for too long, but CJ didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh. That’s weird,” Peter finally said.

“What?”

“I think I know her…” When he said that, he realized that he was a liar. He didn’t know her. Not really. He knew of her face and of her searing touch that stemmed from his dreams. He knew her in a way that wasn’t good enough for him. He needed more. “I think I’m gonna say hi.”

“Before you do that… Shot of courage, and that drink I promised you,” CJ said, sliding the glasses across the countertop.

“Fuck. Thanks,” Peter gulped at the beckoning alcohol.

Peter looked at the shot glass of amber, then at her, and then at the shot again. Fuck it. He snatched the weighted glass and swallowed the liquid in one go. He felt cinnamon in his sinuses and the swell of tears in his eyes. If he focused too hard he could feel the liquid swish in his belly and the likelihood of him hurling became exponentially high.

“Why does it burn so much?” He said past the coughs. 

“You’ve never had Fireball?” 

Peter grabbed the other drink and pushed himself out of his seat while CJ chuckled. If CJ said anything else, Peter didn’t hear it. He was zoned in on the sting in his chest and the insatiable need to be near her.

Peter felt like his legs were of lead as he made his way to her. If not for the sweating glass in his hand, he would have sprinted to her, but it was filled to the brim and ready to spill. That’s how he felt— A sopping mess trying to keep the equilibrium from going out of wack. He was ready to overflow.

Was it possible to be drunk after one shot? And did being drunk mean he would feel like he was dying? He didn’t know how this worked with his super genes, but the excruciating pain in his groin was festering and a handful of thumbtacks were piercing into him like a cork board. He tried his best to control his breathing, but as the distance between them lessened, his heart frantically shook against his ribcage.

Once he was within reach of her, he swore he could feel the alcohol leaking out from his pores. A small piece of him was shaking, questioning, now what?

Now, you take her, said a divine intervention. She reached out for her half-filled cup, and his instincts overpowered him. He finally took in her wrist, relieving him but only partially. It was an ice cube to the palm while his whole body was covered in lava, leaving him charred and ready to turn into ash under her command.

It felt good until he realized she was real and palpable. Someone with personal space and boundaries. Someone that was a complete stranger to him. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” 

Her eyebrows knit under confusion until she recognized him. The short-lived fear was replaced with a sheen of wonder. “Oh, it’s you.”

“It’s me,” he said almost breathless.

Her wrist was lost in ownership. It was clearly connected to her and yet it felt like it belonged to him entirely. She felt like velvet. He wondered if her skin felt like this everywhere.

When he came back to his senses, he finally let go, but there was a piece of him that was yelling at him to take it back as if it really belonged to him. “I’m sorry for grabbing you,” he said as he watched her hand slink back into her possession. Just barely, he noticed the way that her other hand touched the spot he grabbed before placing them below the table. His throat felt dry as her eyes sank into him. 

“Again,” she deadpanned.

 “Again,” he repeated. The tips of his ears were warm with shame.“I swear I’m not following you-”

“I know,” she interrupted with a faint smile. “What’s that?” 

Peter looked at the drink in question. He hadn’t really looked at it before until now, being that all of his focus was on her. The liquid was a red-to-tangerine gradient with an orange wedge on the rim. In truth, he couldn’t even make an educated guess. “I don’t really know.”

“Can I?” 

He passed her the drink, grazing her hand in the process. The contact caused a rush of adrenaline to surge through him, the hairs on his neck rising and his throat left dry. 

His lips parted as he watched her take the straw between her lips. In his dreams, her lips were sangria stained, but now at this moment, her lips were more of a subtle rose and flesh. His jaw clenched at the sight.

“I also don’t know.” She smacked her lips before tilting her head in curiosity. “Not a big drinker.”

“Me neither.”

“Did you try it?” He shook his head no. "Chug it, so it’ll be gone faster. That’s what I do.”

“I don’t know if I can,” he laughed nervously.

“Here. I’ll do it with you,” she flashed a tender smile while reaching for her cup.

When she brought the rim to her lips, her eyes flicked open to glance at him, as if to say, well?

Before he knew it, his hands were wrapped around his cup and downing the liquid like he was under her control. 

He finished before her. It tasted like a tropical vacation with an electric punch. His body wanted to recoil at the prominent taste of alcohol. Not even the assumed pineapple could neutralize its potency, but when he saw her his spine went stiff. She swallowed her marigold-colored drink and a teaspoon trickled down from the corner of her mouth to her neck. The drop got lost in her midnight grey sweater, either soaked up by the knit or running down her skin. There was nothing more he wanted to be than that drop of liquid running down her body, pressing kisses from her jaw to her chest. 

She wiped her mouth with her thumb in a fist and her glazed-over stare sucked him in. Their eyes locked and it felt infinite.

Masochist had suddenly become a word to describe Peter. In amidst the inexplicable pain at the tip of his fingertips and torturous anxiety, there was her. And everything was clear. It felt like staring at the sun in the middle of July, basking in a sweltering heat with no care for his sight— the only importance was that he was to look at her no matter the cost. 

He wanted to peel her open like an orange, tasting the nectar from her flesh. The taste of her would revive him. He could feel it in his bones. She was the ambrosia he thirsted for, the remedy to all of his problems. The joint in his pocket was nothing compared to her. He knew then and there, he would devote himself to her if she let him. 

Peter found himself drawn to the golden pendant around her neck and meditated on the fluctuation in her chest and her fragmented breaths before his eyes wandered back to her pretty face.

He took in her brightness, the way she twinkled. The shimmer in her lips and the mischievousness in her stare. There were glistening remnants of the liquid on the corner of her mouth. It was like every part of her was teasing him with each glimmer and wink.

Cautiously, he slowly brought his hand up to her face, giving her the opportunity to slap his hand away or yell at him. Instead, her mouth became agape releasing a sigh when Peter swiped his thumb against the edge of her mouth.

He opened his mouth to say something witty or beg for forgiveness, whichever came first, but she pushed herself out of the chair and stood up before he could even try.

“I’ll be right back,” she blurted out and didn’t wait for a response. She headed for the hallway past the bar counter, her strides long and quick. Peter could hear a voice in his head scream at him to follow her, and after the past few days that he had to endure, Peter’s mental strength was little to nothing. He hurried after, the fear of her leaving him heavy on his stomach.

He went down the hall and watched as she disappeared into the bathroom. His knuckles tapped against the green door. “Hey? Are you okay?”

He waited for an answer. Nothing.

“I’m sorry, I grabbed you,” he professed as he chewed on his cheek. If she could she read his mind, then he was fucked. He was already fucked, but he would be even more so. Making her uncomfortable was the last thing he wanted, but he couldn’t stop the images of all the positions he wanted to fuck her in and the thought of how she would sound as he railed her to the brink of ascension. He really tried, but he couldn’t and that’s how he ended up here. To find the cure to his perpetual arousal. Not to make her uncomfortable. “I’ll just go, I’m really sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

As he was about to turn on his heels, the sounds of feet shuffling and a click of a lock paralyzed him. Amongst that, he could hear two heartbeats. One was heavily sedated, leisurely pumping blood like it was a hard thing. Skipping along his ribs. Running off of anticipation. Patiently waiting. In contrast, the other was untamed and wild. A beast trying to get out of its cage at all costs.

The strange thing was he couldn’t decipher which one was his as the empty air around him suffocated him.

When she opened the door, he felt like he was seeing her for the first time again.

Under the dim light, she looked glowing as if there was a radiance within her. The subtlety of the golden hue would make a normal person look sickly, but as it caressed her cheek and deemed her desirable, she looked like a star. A delight to Peter’s irregular heartbeats. 

“Now, you’re following me,” she said glaring past Peter like a ghost.

“I- Yeah. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He admitted earnestly.

“I’m anything but.”

Peter’s worries were festering as he watched her body language express her clear hate for this situation he put her in. Her attention had found her feet and cemented itself there, and it took everything for him to not grab her face and beg to look at him. If her eyes weren’t on him, he wasn’t breathing, and if her hands weren’t on him, he wasn’t living. Being without her was painful. He knew that since the first day he saw her. “Did I do something?” 

“Not exactly,” she murmured.

As he observed the painful expression on her face, he noticed the quiver of her bottom lip. She fidgeted with trembling fingers and he swore she was about to cry. He felt like he was transported to that day on the train, watching her hands uncontrollably shake. He wanted to take them in his own shaking hands and kiss each fingertip till she felt better.

“I know you don't know me but you can tell me,” he practically begged. Peter needed her to tell him, then he would know whether she thought of him as a creep or not. He was ready to leave and never see her again if that was what she wished for, despite the yearning his body felt for her that he was yet to understand. He was prepared to undergo psychiatric treatment and go as far as requesting a lobotomy because he was sure there was no cure for his neurosis.

She couldn’t help but to laugh past the approaching tears. “You’re going to think I’m crazy.” She went to rub the rogue tear on her cheek, but Peter was taking a hold of her wrist again.

“What happened?” He said.

Her palms were blemished with indentations from her fingernails, so deep that the affected skin was a garnet hue. This was the fourth time he touched her like she was his property, and he was ready for terror or annoyance to appear on her face, but it never comes. Her eyes sparkled with tears and longing.

“I feel like I’m going insane,” she laughed, but her eyes begged for compassion. “I think I’m being burned from the inside out or something.”

Her words swam in his belly. The preciseness of it slicing through him. That’s all he had felt for days and that’s how he felt now. He released her wrist and placed his palm on her forehead, feeling the radiating heat. “You just might be.”

She shut her eyes, basking in his touch, her chest elevating and cascading. “I think I’m sick.”

“We should get you to a hospital,” he whispered.

“That’s not it...” She trailed off. “I just…”

“Tylenol? Nyquil? You name it and I’ll get it,” he said softly, afraid that if his voice was anything less than a whisper, she would run away like a frightened rabbit.

She studied him, her mind the battleground for whether she could disclose her truth to him or not. She licked her lips before speaking. “I’ve been wanting to fuck you since Monday. So bad, it hurts.” 

“Then, fuck me.”

The words hung in the air thick and harsh. Peter heard the words, but it never occurred to him that the words came from his mouth. 

For a moment, all they do is stand in the door frame with fervent eyes, waiting for the other to make a move. The static between them was sharp and beckoning. There was the same anxiety-ridden fever crawling on his back, extracting every liquid particle in him leaving him high and dry. Peter felt like he was drowning in fire, his body itching to move off of pure instinct and find relief.  He was hungry for her and she was giving him the green light, but he didn’t know if she knew what he would do to her. What he was capable of. His jaw clenched so hard he thought it would shatter at any second. 

But then he could feel her breath of sweet tea fan over his jawline as she looked up at him and within milliseconds he was like a shark, a single drop of blood enough to seize him. 

Peter’s body propelled him forward and took her lips into his. 

It consumed him— the way she tasted and felt against him. She was sweeter than he expected. More velvet than soft. Her body sank into him and he absorbed her, taking every piece of her that he could.

There’s a certain expression that came across his mind— the feeling you get when you kiss someone for the first time and sparks fly. Except Peter felt more than sparks. It was like his whole body was a human shield for a firecracker, firey shrapnel cutting into him all the while his body undergoes first-degree burns. It seemed that she felt the same way, her body jolting at his touch.

He thought it was just a saying, not this real, tangible ache in his skin and drunkenness weighing heavy on his chest. It was just a heady kiss, but it felt like his neurons were snapping into place, the taste of her perfecting his genetic alphabet. The excruciating pricks on his skin and the overall mental torture that he had experienced since Monday had muffled as he melted into her, and he then experienced a new pain. The pain of hunger and thirst.

“Close the door,” he rasped. 

They tore each other apart within a moment’s notice, staggering against each other to enter the single bathroom. Peter locked the door with a free hand as the other gripped her waist.

The hunger for her was clear since day one, but now that he had a taste, a switch in him flipped. He surpassed the ache of hunger and it evolved into starvation. He had this animalistic instinct to have her, something so ferocious that he couldn’t deny it any longer. There was nothing that could stop him from getting his fix.

They were stumbling to find their balance like they were both forces to be reckoned with, seeing who can touch the other more. Peter was completely enraptured with her, kissing until his lips were swollen and her throat bruised. He was forceful, slamming her back against the wall, a gasp being pushed out of her. 

Peter was wild and merciless as if he would never have this opportunity again. And as much as his brain begged him to take his time and explore her, his hands were relentless. He took a handful of her ass and ushered her body closer to him. Her flesh was like perfect dough in his hands, something he could knead and caress for hours.

His senses were overtaken by her. It was a symphony, everything perfectly orchestrated for Peter’s gratification. One palm held her steady at the small arch of her back while the other gripped onto the back of her thigh, opening herself to his grinding bulge. The whimpers and the wetness of her kisses crawled into his ears and made a home in his brain, as he sucked the salt off her neck. He breathed her in, hungry eyes observing his sweet lamb.

Her lips abruptly abandoned him, drawing him awake from his drunken state. His hazy eyes followed her, waiting for their lips to interlock again. Instead, her lips attached to the soft part of his neck, coaxing a rough groan from his mouth. She pressed chaste kisses against his neck, each peck a bucket of water to a wildfire.

He closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of her tongue swirling against the nape of his neck. His head hung back in pleasure as she nipped at his earlobe and a fuck left his mouth from the maneuver. His hands squeezed at her waist, seeking any piece of relief for his fractured breaths.

He brought her face to his again, finally lapping that syrupy taste of hers. He inhaled her, devoured her. She was all he dreamt of and now he was sticking his tongue in her mouth and caressing her thighs.

“Touch me, please,” she mewled helplessly, guiding his hand to her underwear.

As he felt the damp fabric, his heart twisted with awe. ‘Fuck…” He dragged his thumb along her covered bud and anticipated her body language. Her hips buckled at his ministrations, giving him the confidence to go farther. Peter pulled her panties to the side with his pinky and trailed his middle finger along her slit, the pool of slick at her entrance saturating his fingertip. Inch by inch he slowly buried his longest finger in. 

It was his first time touching a girl like this, he didn’t know whether to be delicate or rough. His fingers moved gingerly in her, reaching for the antidote in her. She was sighing profanities like an incantation, her breath like magic coursing into him, making the neediness swell.  He could feel her pulse around his finger, the warm slickness glazing his knuckles. 

Touching her was like touching heaven. A sliver of mercy.

Peter pressed his forehead against hers, intensely watching her move under his command. He slipped another finger in. A line formed between her eyebrows and her mouth hung slightly, her face contorting from the rapture as he stretched her needy cunt. She sucked him in, all the way to his knuckles, and he began to pump them in and out. Each withdrawal of his fingers awarded him with desperate whimpers and each insertion gave him a sigh of relief.

“I want to try something,” she whispered, flirtatiously licking her lips. She took the hand that was fucking her and guided it back to her face, taking his coated fingers into her mouth. Her tongue swirled around his fingers, sweeping them clean.

Peter’s eyes stalked her in anticipation, and when she got on her knees and started tugging at his waistband, he thought he was going to die. “God, you’re not really going to do that, are you?” 

“You don’t want me to?” She purred.

She pulled out his dick that was tucked behind his waistband, a trail of precum shining under the low light. She began to palm his sensitive cock, her lazy grip enough to make him groan. Her thumb dragged along his tip, rubbing his precum around the head.

“Oh, it’s more than I want, but you don’t have to- Oh, fuck.” 

She eagerly took his whole cock into her mouth without any warning. Her head bobbed enthusiastically, her nose grazing his lower abdomen each time she pushed his cock to the hilt of her throat. It was a sensation Peter had never felt before, and he was addicted. She really was going to be the death of him.

The impulse to kneel and praise her was as strong as his hunger to ruin her. He took a handful of her hair and held it to the base of her head to ground him, to keep him strong. To keep him from not falling to his knees and profess a misplaced love for her. He couldn’t thank God for this, it was all her. 

Before he knew it, his mouth was hanging open and his ejaculation was overflowing in her mouth. She swallowed his load enthusiastically, pulling a guttural moan from him while she kept sucking. 

When he couldn’t handle the overwhelming work of her tongue, he pulled her back with her hair causing her to release his cock with a pop and whimper to follow. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cum so quick,” he said panting.

She dragged her tongue along her bottom lip to remove the sheen of white. “You can make it up to me by fucking me.” 

Peter pulled off his sweatshirt and placed it onto the plastic bench that was directly across from the sink and mirror, coincidentally the perfect spot to watch her take his virginity. “Condom in my wallet,” he said, reaching for the leather wallet in his sweats.

“We don’t have time for that,” she muttered as she nudged his chest for him to sit down.“I want you, now.”

He pulled his cock out and rubbed his length, feeling her saliva along the base. “Are you sure?” 

She saddled up on him, her hands resting on his shoulder. “I’m on the pill and if you don’t put your cock in me right now, I swear- Fuck!” Her voice had shattered along with her brattiness by the head of his dick.

“What were you saying?” He groaned at the feeling of her soft spongy walls.

She sighed as she slowly sank onto his thick member. “Nothing…” 

Peter was immobilized, letting her use him as she saw fit. Once he was balls deep she steadily shifted her weight, beginning to move her hips.

It didn’t take much time until she was riding him to her heart's content, and the sight was so terribly obscene. He held her skirt up with his hands glued to her waist and watched as his cock would repeatedly disappear as her hips buckled. He nuzzled into her shoulder, eyes mesmerized by the view in the mirror. 

Peter heard it felt good and knew it looked good but he didn’t know sex was going to feel this electric. It felt better than he imagined. He had a harder time keeping his focus on the mirror than he thought he would, the rhythmic moving of her hips stirring him distracted. She gyrated her hips, ensuring that Peter had marked every wall and every flesh of her pussy. The pleasure sutured his eyes shut tight. It felt like he was dreaming. He must have been dreaming, that was the only way he could explain this.

Peter gripped onto the soft flesh on her hips, holding on like it was a lifeline. He gritted his teeth, drawing blood from the inside of his cheek in the process. Peter couldn’t move in fear that once he started rocking into her, he couldn’t stop. He feared he wouldn’t be able to control his strength. He let her use his cock, milking it with her tight hole.

She leaned back, giving Peter a better view of her wet cunt, and she started to rub her clit as she moved up and down on him. “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Peter groaned, his hands rolling her sweater up to reveal her bare chest. He watched as her breast recoiled before taking them into his hands and guiding them into his mouth. He marked her with hickeys along the inner side of her breast as she used him for her self-gratification.

“Harder,” she whimpered, the sound traveling down his throat like cough syrup.

“I-I can’t,” he stuttered. He was in agony. He really wanted to, but he knew himself well enough to know that he could tear her apart. He ground his teeth together, the muscles of his jaw straining at the tiring tension. “Don’t want to hurt you.”

“I like it rough,” she whispered with a pleading voice.

At that moment he evaporated into the core of man. He encased her waist in the constraints of his muscular arms and held her down as he began to ram himself into her. If she liked it rough, she was going to get it rough, whether she could handle it or not. He warned her.

The particles of Peter Parker and Spider-man had simmered into the air becoming one big nothing and all he was, was a pair of hands and a devouring tongue. His primal instincts that begged for authority had finally swallowed the grip of judgment. This wasn’t his first time and this wasn’t a stranger. This was another meal that caused no interrogation. It was the most normal thing for Peter to drill her full of his cock, going balls deep.

He couldn’t think about if he was adequate enough for her or how this was his first time. And it never crossed his mind that he was losing his virginity in the bathroom of the first bar he ever went to and he definitely couldn’t pay any mind to how conspicuous her moans were. He didn’t because he couldn’t. Nothing mattered when her lips were on him, stamping purple bruises on his neck.

“Just. Like. That,” she gasped between breaths. Her hand roamed around his back, nails digging deep. He thought that his back would end up looking like her palms, etched red with her distraught.

Her desperate cries and the rapid sound of fapping bounced off the walls, echoing through his body. His eyes were gaping, watching with such intensity as her folds enveloped him. It was like something out of a porno, this girl in heat just falling right into his corrupted hands. With her short skirt hiked up to her waist and her desperate rosy expression, she seemed like she was made for this. 

He was masochistic and a narcissist and perverted in all the worst ways and it was all her fault. She ruined him with her begging eyes and burning touch so he ruined her back, fucking her till she could see stars. Railed her till she couldn’t walk.

“Yes, fuck me dumb!” she cried at his brutal pace. 

He stood up with her legs still wrapped around him and let gravity force her down deeper onto his cock. “Fuck!” She slapped her hand over her mouth, stifling her incoherent babbles.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” He whispered with a smug grin. “Fuck you dumb?”

He used her like a slot that had no purpose but to be filled up, cruelly ramming himself in and out of her. Moments ago, he was aware of how frail she was under his hands, but now he was remorseless, unable to care if he broke her or not.

He fucked her like there was a knot in her belly, each pump to the hilt an attempt to loosen it. Each thrust a step closer to his climax.

Peter could feel the tears fall onto his back as she cried into her hand. Her stifled moans traveled through his marrow, vibrating within the depths of him. He savored her velvet walls and the way she opened up so well for him. She had him reduced to nothing but a man with innate needs. His want for her had burned in the back of his eyelids. His hands seared into her body to satiate his desires for her. 

The collision was a mess from the start, he should have seen this coming. The train incident was like seeing smoke diffusing in the sky amongst layers of mountains and he looked the other way, ignoring the omen. And now he was in the heart of the firestorm, a blistering pain that felt so good. It was a rebirth through the means of a flame, one that Peter didn’t run away from anymore.

Somehow he wanted to reach deeper, feel the parts of her that no one else had. He bottomed out and rolled himself into her, his groin putting pressure on her clit, and sucked on her neck.

“Oh, if you keep doing that…” She trailed off feverishly, buckling her hips before breaking out into a trembling fit.

He could feel her pussy convulse on his cock, her hips winding through the coil. He didn’t think he could wrap his arms around her any tighter, but he does, squeezing the orgasm and air out of her. Peter could feel his own heatwave roll into him. 

“I’m cumming,” he groaned, mercilessly winding himself into her. As he shut his eyes and he could see stars much like the ones in her eyes. He buried his face into her shoulder, attempting to have more of her. His second orgasm surged through him like a flash of lightning, fast and sharp. He could feel his milk fill her up, saturating her walls.

As he stood there with her in his arms, trying to catch his breath, he could hear their hearts racing in tandem and her soft pants. He could hear the way her lungs filled and collapsed. He wondered if her lungs were filled with him like he was with her. His lungs were overfilled with the roses on her wrist and the salt on her skin and all of her breaths since that first day on the train. He was like a generator running off of this girl that he strangely, yet desperately needed. 

The flame slowly dwindled down, his pace slowing down until it was nothing. The smoke had let up and the fog fully dispersed through his body, and that’s when he could feel it. The visceral realization of the gravity of this beautiful little thing in his arms. It was clear and frightening all at once. The way the needles in the air disappeared and the sudden clarity in his mind. She fixed him and yet he felt it in his chest that he wasn’t done with her. She had burned herself into him, a permanent tattoo on his chest with her handprints seared onto the flesh of his ribs.

With his eyes closed there were flashes of a picnic amongst a rose garden and the tender waves of the sea and a timid bonfire at dusk. When he opened them, the vivid images were still there, but with another image of her now weary, yet ever so twinkling eyes.

For the first time he hoped he would dream of them.

want more? here’s my most recent one shot: moon river (tasm! bf peter)

a/n: planned for this to be a one shot, but we’ll probably see peter and silk again if this does well heheh xoxoxo as always, thank you for the support! keeps me motivated to keep writing! <3 mommy

reblog and comment for more xx

#peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x you #mcu peter parker

[wondon23-the-drowned-kid]

ill confess this is a lot even for me to do it... (the m.o.d tome features) (inportant read the desc at the end)

(Huge thanks for the mod Mowzie’s mobs for the ferror Worghtnaut i think thats how its spelled)

(seasons include winter,attum,summer and spring diferent events happen depending on the season)  

(how i hate the fact my english is more shiter then horse shit... forgive me viewers ;w;) now lisen up this is the mod speaking and i just wana say that yeah... this book only the first chapter has like THOUSENS of things new... and ill be honest it would take SO FREAKING LONG to make it all so i added some of the things i wanted some of theses mobs werent even made by me but the mobs: apiary,warrior,mage,lotti,monsterhunter,mysteryus trader,king villager,megaboomer and Peak-a-boo. were made by me. so heres how it will be ill make a list of all of the new things that were added here cuz if i try to draw EVERYTHING dear god...it would take so freaking looooong ;-; so in this case if you must know the ref or the information about such thing as mob or feature you have 100% permission to dms me for the dethails im open and ill awser you when i have time besides this is the path im takeing. over 50+ mobs like cmon and 8 new bosses. (one last thing before the list some of theses mobs were also made so people could just do their charecters based on them. however lotti is sort of mine so dont copy him too much hes a boy i have been dreaming for the past 3years and I WANT HIM IN MINECRAFT PLEASE MOJANG) also some of theses features are entirely form mods well its the M.O.D tome what ya expect ?? for thoses ill still give info by using the mod the most ill describe is the one mobs made or based on smt but still made by me.

so heres the list and feel free to dms me for ref and new sutff:

Blocks: Ores: silver ore,thaleonite ore,ruby,topaz,saphire,lithium,titanium. decotrative: Mushy carpets,mosaic block (it has diferent colors), Cristal block,cristal glass,wallpaper empty blocks,drain block,chain block, stick block,hopper block and camuflage block. plants: Fosfirita flower,cotton flower,blue gaper,cornila flower,mountain moss.

Mobs!! (theses here are diferent ones from the first ones showed): illagers: Dynamite illarger,horse illarger, stealth illarger, tank illarger, villager: the painter,the quest maker and the floricultist. creepers:(along with a huge pack from the more creepers mod),burried creeper, missile creeper and the hollow creeper. animals: (EXTREMLY BIG thing from alex mobs NEVER UPSETS ME but no animals from the nether and the end are here from the mod) Quivster,beetle,ants,firelizard and viper, undead: dead warrior,dead chemistry exper,dead mage,dead archer. reinforced skeleton,golden skeleton,jungle skeleton, lost miner skeleton. 

BOSSES!!!: the 3 brothers of acient magic, The dead king, scrapster, meteoriter, sky chaser, sea recker.

features: Heavy wind!,mega trees (aka trees made with 12 spalings together),sandstorms,snowstorms,pushing winds,heavy rain,color change of trees.

items: Bloat fruit,dynamite bar,silver,titanium,lithium,thaleonite= amors and tools., wardrober table,forge anvil,fish net, long bow, harpoon,copper tools,mushy balls,rubble,wallpaper,camuflage paint, automatic pusher,beetle meat,magma scales (and boots), poison glands, rusty axe,rusty sword,rusty shield,old wand,rusty bow, reinforced bones, golden bones, muddy bones, cracked bones. flying potion,blasting potion,firetouch potion,morph potion,quest paper,advence fishing rod,golden fish rod, angler trinkets, super sword, zaladios, blasting powder, super streagth potion,super insta heal potion, contrapack.

food: (cooking for block heads makes a aperence here for variouse things) icecream,pizza,spagtthie and shulker meal.

new gran quest: 4 elemental stones (foreshadow ;) )

Mod: i guess I GUESS this is everything im trying my best on remenber everything i planed im telling you I THINK A LOT! and if theres smt im missing here and there i juge myself a lot for forgeting but again ya guys can ask for info im open im sorry i dint draw everythign but look at that IT WOULD TAKE AN ETERNITY. anywayes thats all.

(when your langueg isnt english) 

inglesh people:

#m.o.d tome #features #OH GOD this is long #ask blog #mc #mods #mods and more mods...

[selphplusplus]

Meteor (alpha draft)

Becoming Omega

Oh I know you like that

Handsome mouth.

She loves the moving part,

Smart and full of pretty words.

Oops.

Never was one for rules

Her either

So lets break daytime covenants

She doesn’t fly too much these days.

One more time, at 9.8

We jump out, leap of faith

Deathcab hit the mark

When he wrote “I’ll follow you into the dark.

Dry those salty drops, they’re gifts from the sea

From our distant pasts, before our colors changed

Before I faded back to blue,

Before the Chameleon boy that you knew.

Danced to technicolor beats beside the sea

And thought of you.

And thought of you

Smiling nights are rare for the melancholy,

we who thrive in twilight,

we must bio-luminesce ultraviolet,

a light not warm like your sun,

But warm like your soul,

That unfroze the cold

I held tightly to, it was my comfort

Then wasn’t again.

With the northerly wind, you left me winded

At hurricane speed, rended my darkness

When the day met teh night.

you dared to melt everything solid into air.

No my nighttime twilight cloak fell from my shoulders,

The coins over my eyes, plucked away

You decided, one sidedly, I would not visit Styx today

I would not yet drink from the Lethe.

It’s dark and hell is hot, but just as holy,

And so we interlaced

IN cold fusion we vibrated

to make heat rivaling

our white hot opposites,

—they are the stuff of newly dead stars, appended

And put in glass cages, like monarch butterflies

we are the newly dead on our way to become again.

LIfe isn’t a circle, it’s a spiral, a whirlwind.

And I fell in love with….you…with your hurricane.

A taste, take a bite,

Might I be so bold,

Can I, reignite das of old

Girl of the sky

Take a bite

Take a bite

Lips like morphine

diamond teeth

Licking the blood off each other

Hot hot hot,

How it needs to be.

Sweat so salty-sweet

Her taste lingers on me

…and its been years.

So I ask again

Circumstances be damned

Can I take a bite

Of crimson wings

And fly to heights

Where you bathe in sun rays

May I meet the daytime

That gets to see the bests parts of you

“Best?” Yeah right,

he best parts ofyou

are white hot lies In the sunshine,

No no, take a bite, too,

The best parts of you

Belong to the night.

Red Rock, shadows rise

Moonlight, a meteorite

You were the falling star I wished upon

Once upon a time

Until you rocked a world

And I learned fairy tales aren’t real enough

I prefer you unfurled

Scars and all

There is no god here

And we celebrate dust to dust

The sun goes down

Let’s skip to the part where you do to

I’ll keep the light from going out

(Heavy heavy machinery

But you wear the hard hat with ease

Don’t drive me home, enjoy the scenery

I’ll hold your hand, I promised you,

Even though I always knew

You’d beat me to it,

I’ll hold your hand

until our hearts stop beating)

Angels and Devils sitting on shoulders

You’ll always be in my airwaves.

Defy the sun, but stay made of sky

On night time rides,

I’ll play your song on my radio

A thousand generations can come and go

But I won’t let go, I’ll always hold

memories made, and Momento stones

I’ll ride your waves of light.

Sin and Sine waves, too

Sit with you through your tangents low

Tonight though, we ride, into a sky made just for you

Let me be as honest as I’ve ever been

I’m saying more than I’ve ever said

They say time changes all things.

I say they are not right at all

Love is resilient

And the one we share,

Was only ever meant to grow.

It was a plant without sunlight

Got stunted a while.

But when they sun and moon collided

I lost my will to fight it

I unloaded the yoke of pride

The hurt had healed enough

The pain had finally subsided

And I gave with no expectation

Total absolution

If you ever wondered about the power of love,

There’s no better an example.

If ever you don’t believe in the power of love,

Go re-read all that again.

By Artemis providence, Arrow true

Tied up in tides in starlit skies,

with the gravity of the moon

Opened hearts, aired it out,

Silver trim and fire hair

She pulled through

And resurrected what Cupid couldn’t do.

When Cupid just wouldn’t do.

Girl of the sky, we evolved

Goddess of the hunt and moon,

By your grace I implore you

Show the girl with fire hair, so soft

As New Perspective

Teach her that our night does not belong to God

#meteor #infinite love #wistfulness #loss #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #writing #emotional #im crying #love wins #coping #grief #acceptance #it hurts #itaikedo

[jaythelay]

Somethin' reeeeeeeal ironic when people say Palworld's pokemon designs are bad or randomly made, AI generated, etc etc etc.

Honestly they feel more like Pokemon than Pokemon have felt since Gen3. It's all abstract nonsense anymore, but Pals look like...not, "real" but organic. Like actual creatures and not a collection of polygons/lines loosely representing... something...

Like the original starter pokemon look organic, like an actual living creature with a physical form. Sure, they're based on real creatures, Pikachu is based on a Rat after all. But they look like fantastical animals.

Some people shit on Muk like purple slime can't exist, or Slimes in RPGs never happened. Disingenuously comparing Muk to

A Pair of Car Keys. Nothing organic, nothing about this feels "real" and to be honest I can't imagine why the God of Pokemon decided to make a pokemon based on such a human construct of something so mundane.

A Fire Lizard, Grass Frog, Electric Rat, Water Turtle.

Even when it strayed from Organic or Critters, and even into human constructs, it was never so mundane or incomprehensible as this:

It was a Meteorite that puffs smoke. A Magnetic ball and screw thing. It's not incomprehensible that a Meteor in Pokemon could evolve or be given sentient life. A Magnetic Ball is not going into Gundam tier, but something in of itself. A Ball, with magnets attached. Magnetic energy exists literally everywhere, why not use what is entirely a creation of itself in it's evolution? You can imagine someone making a Magnemite, I think that's it's name? Not to create life, but to create in general. It's a ball with a screw in it's head, all of it, made from materials practically raw on earth. We can shape the Screw and Ball but we can't give it sentience. Only Pokemon Earth can.

To me, this just puts me off entirely from anything past Gen2, mostly Gen 1. The idea of a world filled with critters that feel down to earth and based on elements of life we know of, gives the world a more grounded feeling. Like, yeah, if critters with powers existed we would want to collect and love them, and they'd evolve from what's on the Planet.

Even Muk, a collection of Pollutions and sewer crap, makes sense. Sentience has to have meaning to what is alive at the furthest extent. A Pokemon based on humanity's filth? "Realistic", down to earth, we've all seen a movie or read a book with something like this.

This is too in-organic. Magnets exist without humanity, organisms create pollution. This tries too hard to have extra detail but does nothing with it, the ears are the bag's ties but the way they're put on is...nothingness incarnate. Should be a flying type pokemon that uses a propeller, they specifically look to find homes for garbage people discard, but it's just...a garbage bag with sentience. That's it. The eyes are generic, the mouth irrelevant, what the hell are the arms? It's cute that there's a tear in the bag for them, but...why the arms? Why a Trashbag? Why Car Keys and Ice Cream?

Meteorite that's sentient. Pollution that's sentient. Magnets that are sentient. These are all things that are natural to the earth in some manner or another. Trashbags and car keys aren't natural, they're the Creation of materials From Earth that HAVE to be put together by humanity. The thing about Muk is that he's not one type of pollution or one material, like a trashbag, he's a combination of all forms of pollution, imagine taking all the food in your friend and stirring it together in some water. Now imagine all the trash in the world doing the same. It's no longer a Mcdonald's sprite cup, or Hazardous Waste, it just Is Pollution. Trashbags would turn into pollution, and thus, Muk is the only "realistic" outcome.

Pokemon to me are the earth's ability to create with whatever "energy" other life has given to it. Trashbags and Car Keys, understand the problem isn't that they're objects in the real world, or specifically that they're man-made, it's that they're specifically Not Made by the Earth. I can see Lizards evolving to shoot fire, Crocodiles to spit water. I can see Magnets gaining sentience because how the fuck do they work as is? Magic. Energy.

What falls to the earth belongs to the earth, and Coffing is a mixture of space and earth, I like to think of Muk and Coffing as mostly a bunch of space germs and micro-organisms that evolved into the DNA of already existing things teeming with life, like a plant, or a rock (Earth is Rock) Keys do not spawn naturally in the world. Trashbags may fall to the world but they do not remain trashbags. Carkeys much the same, they'd turn into some weird metal LONG before they'd be given the chance of sentience.

This has been a ramble about Pokemon from someone Completely Divorced from the series or community. It's not been my go-to ever, whatever dialogue had on this topic, I've no clue of. That being said, I did play Pokemon Red some many years back, but otherwise, I know I'm not the only one to point out such things, but I do feel as though there was some design philosophy about Pokemon that got bulldozed over for more sequels, and honestly, anytime I did see someone point them out, someone would compare Gen1 and I never understood it.

The Design philosopy behind Gen1 and Gen(x) is entirely different, and I don't see reason to be upset with someone for finding fault with design decisions like these when predecessor's set the standard/rules.

Sure, they're minor, but it's not our job to point out the degree in which something matters, only that it matters to some degree. And Car Keys? I'm sorry but no. Icecream doesn't get a pass because it's based entirely on something that would have 0 chance of evolving or gaining sentience in Gen1, as there was a tighter design philosophy that would prevent Waffle Cones from living.

Pokemon are evolutions from the Earth itself, and how Humanity and "Animals" work and grow together. Humanity + Nature, not Humanity > Nature. When Humanity is designing pokemon, it stops being so magical and starts feeling like someone in the world is profiting off scientifically breeding living creatures with inanimate objects, and not the world being magical and full of whimsy, creating life from what energy was given to it by all of life, and not just...fuckin' trash bags. Who made my precious boy Muk fuck a Trashbag??? Who invested in that breeding business decision?

What a way to slap the original philosophy in the face honestly. A fuckin' trash bag. Comparing that to Muk is in fact, disingenuous. My source of frustration comes from people only surface level comparing designs and not the artistry and "realism" in terms of what's real to the Pokemon world. What would make sense to exist within it. Instead, it's excuses for them to exist in the world because the creator's didn't give them one.

Even Porygon works! It's computer data come to life! It's magical! Whimsy n shit! What's whimsical about living icecream? I'm horrified of the cultural impact that will have on a world that appears to be rather Vegan. Not full of whimsy. Just horror.

I also have a pet peeve with how often they copy-paste shapes instead of elements from one poke to another. Circles, Balls, Zig Zags, usually that's the entirety of their "texture" if at all, and sometimes it's SO complex that it ends up looking like absolutely nothing but abstract shapes slapped together into a vaguely humanoid form most of the time.

That being said, lemme show you some examples of designs that I feel fit the original philosophy pretty well.

While I dislike the "mask", and randomly placed shapes (oh my god why triangle noses and random squares on a ROUND design??) This looks like a Critter! I want to hug this fucking thing! I'm curious of what it evolved from! Not questioning how Humans Made Pokemon and that's literally the Only Explanation for Trashbag and Car Key Magoo.

But his evolution is...awful.

What the FUCK happened!? I like that it's based on a croc, but the eyes...derpy as hell, one eyes bigger than the other and go another direction, he's got...random piano columns??? on his chest? His tail...is ribbed for someone's pleasure surely... I like the teeth...but the nose is too angular, the random shapes are just obnoxious. Is it based on Toothpaste? Oh my god is it!? The tail's the paste and the body is the tube...What the hell is this? Why does it look bald? It HAD hair!?

It's not...the worst design in Pokemon, but it takes- What is that on his nose? Is that...another creature? Wh- WHy. Why tho? It doesn't even fit anything...it's just...there...

This one's aight, I think my problem with it is that, since it has horns instead of ears, it's head just looks like it kinda...ends, very derpy. I'd have put that Alien Skull on his forehead, or enlarged it to look similar to a hat. The tail is a bit...dorky/edgy, I'd end it with what's on his feet. Otherwise, even tho he looks like he's choosing to react with disgust, I am not disgusted by him at all.

Random lines, worm-noodle head, very repeated designs on other pokes, but again, not much wrong here. It's trying too hard to have too much detail, I'd just make the shell entirely hexagons but my Tripophobia says Don't. I'd add something to his head, and put more detail into his feet, and remove the random lines, and the random zig zags- oh my god the zig zags.

Vomitous. Vomituous? I'm gonna throw up.

Random shapes! What the hell is that face? I swear you couldn't make a background one off animal for a generic fantasy anime/RPG cutscene anymore than this. There's just nothing to take away from it. An actual, eyesore. Are those volcanoes? Or just...rocky spikes? What is this? A bull, cow, what? What and why? Why that hair? Why the circles. Why. The circles.

Literally why even bother having an artstyle when you can just do whatever with anything and nothing matters or will matter and god will smite us for these sins.

Now, with the philosophy I described, something like Hitmonchan or Hitmonlee might seem to counter it, and stick with me here, but I think the energy that comes from the passion and art of Fighting and Martial arts/Boxing, the sheer culture of it, can be energy the Pokemon Earth can use to make a pokemon.

Because here's the thing, there's a philosophy to fighting, martial arts, there's deep understanding and a genuine passion for the art of fighting. People devote alot of their life to studying or learning or watching, because it's a physical artform and not random street violence or bar fights, something nobody has any passion, deeper understanding or philosophy, or culture for.

Literally nobody feels that way about Trashbags or Icecream or Car Keys. There's 0 Energy for ANYONE or ANYTHING to take from it. Nobody cares. If you lose your keys, you get new keys. You lose a Lizard? You're fucking DEPRESSED. Because you have a deep connection and passion for it. You don't for Ice cream or Trashbags.

Is it a stretch? Eh kinda. If the Earth can take pollution/micro-organisms and give it life and form, why can't it take fighting energy and humanity's passion and give it life? It's all energy that comes from Life's passions. Not car keys. I know I keep going on about it but mainly it's because they're such easy examples, I won't need to go in-depth as to why I think most other generations don't seem to match the rules/standards I feel from Gen1 because there's just so many fuckin' pokemon.

It's easier to show that, the philosophy of Pokemon design has changed entirely from Gen1, and the idea that people find any one of the what, 12 generations or some shit? Better than another, doesn't seem remotely oblong, but oddly, it really feels like there's this large mentality that Gen1 designs are just as bad as Gen(X) designs, but the reality is simple: Gen1 was the first, it had tighter standards of what was and wasn't because they weren't working with yet another batch of 100 pokemon. Because of this, all of the original Gen1 Pokemon have an artstyle that never clashes with each other. They're all Pokemon. Just different kinds of pokemon.

The issue going forward is every Gen had a different Gen of pokemon that never blended with Gen1 well. And that problem got worse when the next Gen didn't blend with Gen2, Gen3, Gen4... Rules and standards loosened to get the product out the door. This has a cascading effect of every Gen feeling like pokemon from entirely different worlds are all stuck inside the same small bowl.

And with no option to limit which pokemon are in your game (God that'd be cool but I'd be the angriest fucking Dev if I had to put that in and anyone used it) you're continually getting clashier and clashier designs. The fact Pokemon hasn't utterly crumbled under it's own weight is genuinely an impressive accomplishment, but it's one that continually shows, god damn, this is far too big of a franchise to keep going the way it has. Those release dates and poor hardware to work with, and Genuinely Lazy work on these games, have only continually split and regain fanbases that live in their own version of these games.

Whoever at Nintendo said "let's add 100 more pokemon every game" must've not known this series would STILL be doing this 4 fuckin' decades later. My god.

That went offtopic. Uh, Palworld's designs aren't great, but they're not Car Keys Nintendo over there. I can appreciate that the Pals feel organic, and not...like there was a shitty deadline and someone putting a joke submission in and it actually getting approved because Shit Man we can't Waste that time on a fucking trashbag dude, this is on you, the work is work, it's going in.

That being said, Palworld lacks so, so much. It occured to me that, there really isn't a community in-universe for Palworld. Just NPCs playing their role. Blackmarket salesmen? Hell, better not have any story for that! They just exist and apparently it's chill! No morals to think about, which isn't a problem, but then you have to ask, why? Why is there a black market and no story? I get it's early access, but you can't look me in the fact and expect me to believe there's a real tight philosophy behind anything in that game, other than "make a fun game with friends" and "set it up to monetize the FUCK out of it midway through development"

Fun time, with friends, but any deep aspects of the game simply aren't there. Characters, story, enviroments, community, life, anything, it's simply not there. Sure, they want to be PVP, but even Fortnite plays more serious and competantly. It won't be an Esport, Period. But whatever they think they can do, they basically can with those sales. I'm just saying, I wouldn't put much stock into disliking Palworld's Designs via comparison with Pokemon, unless we're talking Gen1, which has a full cast of Pokemon that blend with each other and feel like they're from the same universe, much like Palworld's Pals more consistently can do with their limited roster than Pokemon with probably 2k pokemon total to work with. What I'd focus on, is how damn SHADY everything about it feels. Not the Pokemon aspect, the gameplay, the unfinished nature of it, the Ease in which they can sell booster packs and really lock the game down from modding in a Fun experience instead of a purposefully tedious one that forces you to pay money for your own sanity, instead of just...playing a different game.

Now, sure, this is all rather muddy and guaranteed, nobody at Nintendo had any of this in mind. But it doesn't change the fact that all of Gen1 feels down to earth for the Pokemon world. That ALL life matters to the Earth and it evolved it from it's collected energy. Like a Spirit Bomb of Creation, we all contribute towards it. The passion, love and energy of life, helping to create more life, working together to better the world.

Car keys and trashbags don't inspire that feeling. They inspire a capitalism feeling, late-stage when humans are making pokemon out of car keys.

To end off, here's the ONE design I LOATHE from Gen 1

What. The FUCK is this. Pinata ass arms, Metal Bars for limbs, Butt Ass Head. Duck? Is it a fire duck? Duck you. prick.

#pokemon #this is not to be taken seriously but thoughtfully #any percieved rage is called “exaggeration” and shouldn't be seen as the typical internet hate comment #I #also #am a fool #For the most part I don't even really care #I'm waiting on a thing and this filled the time #enjoy or hate #I don't mean to make anyone upset #just to see alternative perspectives #and most likely #the wrong one #which is mine

[trashybat]

Unexpected, that you'd

unravel

the science my heart had thought

It traveled.

To map out love

and what

It Is //~//

Because if I skimmed

my past 《》

like backwards chapters~

I'd never find a constellation

of

paragraphs

that

made me hap◇pi♡er.

You change me in a loving way, but

Deep▪︎

lik▪︎e a

s▪︎urge▪︎ry.

It hurts to grow ●out ▪︎of the

●dark●▪︎ in me.

[[You let the li☆ght in]]

like tiny stitches,

Rewire me

With kisses; &

the preconceived beliefs

Of what is or isn't

significant movement;

Because I feel Sun

On my shoulders when /

you tie your hair

Up in a funny shape◇

it's too nonsensical and

Pure○°○°

To look past♡◇

swear I feel

free when you laugh.

Significant surely//

Assuming I am

where I want to be;

Simply by catching your eyes

((How their color holds me))

safely○● &

Some how,

Smiling, you give yourself away.

I do so [all too] openly,,

Although;

I do love reading you like mystery.

(>I'd become puzzled over<)

that rested in corners

of my grandparents bookshelves.

My grandmother said

If she were patient,

they were always her favorites.

I wanna be patient with you.

You make me learn to be still//

Against my will//

I'm trying to silence the war in me

So I can float in the waters of you.

I wanna learn your currents ~~

and the connection of

your tides to the moon.☆○●•

Your teeth against collar bone

Your kisses on my neck▪︎•

Dismantle my pessimistic.

My hope insomniac;

Sunrise in my chest.

>I did everything to not deserve this.<

If what they say about religion

and God is true××

The love I now know makes

God

and goddess

Of

me and you.

It's light

and h e a v y lik e

Dried

》flowers

in a dusty

Bible●

You unwrap me like

stubborn rose bud

To remind me what

I'm made of

I cry at the sight of

gold inside

You see what I am a n d deem it enough

But you're making me ◇so♡ whole

I fear I love you

too. *much.

I would steal you stars just to

comfort you

when we're apart >><<

But you much disprove any thieveries

Or scandals of any sort

▪︎□▪︎You carry the purest°°° metals

in ♡ that strong & wholesome heart

And I am magnet to you...

The way you sew and stitch

Meteorite threads through

Super novas split

By cruel times ||

That dug inside

and scarred my seams

I want to》 bury sunlight 》

in your arteries

So light is

all your lungs.

b r e a t h e

& I could pour black on all the truth~

But your honest eyes

Fight midnight

labyrinth

Until

its see-through.

Then

love notes

In my troubled blue &

Violet seas ¤□¤

Lullabying

Static insecurities

Reminding daydream

Real time\\

Reverie.

If you asked me;

Favorites, memories~

It's an abstract in

between

Comfortably 'lost' //

(Afloat in never again

turned to maybe)

It's a million butterflies °°and

67 degrees• \\

Forecast colors made for eyelids

And the shade of smile ◇

of the (golden)

-first time you looked at me;

& built like wizardry

A wall of self respect in me.

When your arms

wrapped around my ribcage /

Limbs keeping shaking ones composed;

《exposed

shadows》i cried, caught

with p ois on

on the porch.

How [all you asked]from me

Was ♡l i v e♡

How suddenly\`\

I'd n e v e r wanted more.

#poems and poetry #love poem #sunlight #wizard #raccoon #coyote #me and you

[risingsol]

collapsingmoon

This world is unsafe. A world where humans are powerless against the might of the gods cannot be safe, a world where several strata of above onto the heavens looks as peaceful as ever while down below it's pitch black and utter hell cannot be hospitable. Lumine deemed it a good reason enough for Aether to rest in the interior of the meteorite after their long journey through the mantle of stars. But now? One single second spent more in this world endangers their safety.

World be damned so long as Aether and her both can escape. Within their millennia of years of existence, it would soon go away. It always does, when they witness the ugliness of some worlds. Reason why there is an urgency in her touch to beckon him back to reality from the realm of sleep, her otherwise composed features distorted with fear and rush to leave at once. ❝There is no time to explain here. But we must leave. Now.❞

What will be her brother's reaction upon seeing pitch black skies with crimson rain and bloody moon below, but layers above into the sky see that nothing happens? What will be her twin's reaction upon seeing the mess of a world they got themselves into? There is no time to think about it, only to escape. They could discuss about this later, when they traverse the sea of stars above. About the care they must exercise to not take their safety lightly upon descending to a new world whose dangers they ignore.

His last memories before the awakening were full of hope - thinking of the potential that might lay here in this world that had called to the both of them with such a fervent want that it felt like his feet couldn't catch up to the echo of his footsteps. Glimpses of the world below were the last bits of consciousness that echoed in his mind before a persistent prodding to his shoulders gave him the first rude awakening to the reality of the situation. Playful banter always seemed to come so easily with Lumine and the carefree action spoke to the levels of unawareness that he had, groan dying a quick death in his throat when amber hues opened to honest panic - an unfamiliar expression set into the steadfast expression of his sister. Her next touch injected the same edge of dread into his demeanor; fast reconnection of their bond jolting him into action.

Questions later, actions now - Aether tucking those thoughts away with a firm nod as he took her hand, willing himself into motion as his senses started to come back to him. Originally, the sky had registered to him as the night. Indeed though, darkness wasn't only limited to the night and the bleeding moon streaked across the sky proved only to be a bad omen. Just what had she seen here and just what had occurred here in the time that passed between their landing and his awakening? Had there been a reason why she continued to let him sleep and face this alone? All he could do was hold tight to her hand, her palms slightly cold to the touch even.

"...you owe me one devil of an explanation after all this." A quip was a reassurance that he could at least muster now, Aether tugging her forward to take a firmer grasp on her hand as the two of them began to run. "Do you remember where we made entry? It's gotta be a gateway of some kind."

#;inquiries ✦ answered asks #;traveler log ✦ ic #collapsingmoon #//man this is so late wetoiuew

[twofacedgods]

The Meteorite Edit

A new acquisition for the budding rock collection –  a slice of the Sericho pallasite! This beautiful specimen was once part of an asteroid’s core–mantle boundary, and similar stony iron meteorites are some of our best proxies for the Earth’s own interior. Here you can see megacrysts of olivine in gemmy green and orange, suspended in an iron–nickel groundmass. The olivine has characteristic curvilinear fractures, but also several sub–parallel shock fractures, possibly formed on impact. The free metal groundmass has apparent mm–scale banding, a characteristic of octahedrite Widmanstatten patterns (apparent I say because Widmanstatten patterns can only be seen after acid etching, and I don’t know how the sample was prepared – in the case that this was an over–enthused interpretation, I offer the lesser alternative of mechanical scratches from slicing). 

Pallasites are thought to have formed during magma ocean differentiation on larger asteroids. The heat generated by short lived radionuclides and high interior pressures leads to melting and density segregation into an iron core and a silicate magma ocean. As this too cools, denser crystal–rich melts will settle as olivine cumulates, aided by convection and crustal foundering. At the core–mantle interface, the molten metal of the core is thus mixed with the olivine cumulates, resulting in stony iron formation. Small asteroidal bodies cannot stay hot for long, and so will ‘freeze’ at some point in their early histories. Impacts can break up these solidified asteroids and reassemble them into rubble piles – or they can send them hurtling our way, which is what happened with Sericho, and why we can observe what we can today!

#geology #planetary science #space #meteorites #the literal coolest thing i own #an honest to god meteorite #at least i'm 95% certain that it is a meteorite #since pallasites are notoriously difficult to fake #science #stem #pallasite #asteroids #science meets art #dark academia aesthetic #field sketches #not really fieldwork per se but i'm trying to be consistent with my tagging alas

[apompkwrites]

reader impact || first meetings: unreconciled stars

series masterlist characters: scaramouche, fischl, mona genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: i'm sorry fischl and mona's aren't that good :(( this is actually my first time writing for them but i hope you enjoy <33

scaramouche's playthrough -

oof scara

scara scara scara

this boy hates his chat and at this point they don't care.

it's not like he'll badmouth them, right?

think ludwig.

that's him.

he's a very angy boy please--

as for what he does?

much like childe he'd do a lot of pvp games.

he's not too keen on showing off his personal life.

he prefers that boundary between his viewers and himself, y'know?

he honestly doesn't even understand why his viewers like him.

he knows he's a mean person and yet here they are :/

he doesn't take requests from his viewers he just kinda plays whatever he wants.

imagine his viewers' surprise when they see him streaming genshin--

they asked why a lot.

"it seemed cool."

this man just wants to play some good ol' anime games.

his chat calls him soft and he just glares.

anyway now he's actually playing.

he's not really into mondstadt's characters they're all... okay to him.

he feels a bit better in liyue.

not because it's pretty oh no no no.

because look at all the enemies outside >:))

he'll clear the whole field don't test him.

anyway, now onto the unreconciled stars event :00

this man really doesn't like katheryne--

anyway at this point he's tasked with find fritz, which he doesn't really want to do.

he sees the dude on the ground but that's only after he sees someone standing next to him.

and then he sees someone standing next to him :0

"is the guy on the floor sleeping?"

"i believe so. i've tried everything, but he won't wake up."

he will pause to look at your outfit.

it's so complex but it's so cool!!!

his chat suspects something's up but... he'll just snap at them like he normally does.

but he'll silently admire you <3

also yOU'RE T I N Y ! !

and then paimon points out your clothes and the cameras pans up your body--

"heh... and by "this person over here," you mean me, right?"

he will choose the "those unique clothes are quite beautiful" option in a heartbeat.

he doesn't care that his chat is teasing him, he just wants you to know :))

he's kinda sad when you leave, though...

"please come back soon..."

his CHAT HAS NEVER SEEN HIM SO SOFT BEFORE

skip to a few events later when the constellation is revealed to be leonard's.

the sudden cutscene catches him off guard because he's prepared to fight someone.

"hi! sounds interesting... mind if i join you?"

he won't say anything but he will physically relax at the sight of you.

you make this man soft please--

he's lowkey angry when his character is teleported away from you :(

(name): the sixth of the eleven fatui harbingers

HYPEHYPEHYPE

YOU'RE SO COOL!

of course he doesn't say that but his chat can tell that's what he's thinking.

this man's eyes go wide when you order the fatui around.

please help he really likes you. you're so assertive and cute and cool and just AGH--

fischl's playthrough -

fischl can and will do cosplay streams.

her fans like to watch her because of the "character" she puts up for the camera.

honestly she just does this because she genuinely enjoys cosplaying and bringing characters to life.

oz is the nickname for her pet bird :))

she definitely gets a lot of trolls in her chat that make fun of her for her cosplays and "dumb" way of speaking.

in which case she'll just yell at them using her "dumb" way of speaking.

she really does care about how people see her but her chat comforts her a lot after, so she feels better after a few minutes :))

the games she plays are very fantasy based and take place in worlds that don't exist.

once she gets into a game, she'd pick her favorite character and cosplay as them everytime she streams that game.

sometimes she does sewing streams where she actually makes her own cosplay with her fans.

they like to make it with her if they have the materials :D

genshin impact was a game her fans recommended because they actually want to see fischl cosplay the characters.

they will beg her to do the cosplay creation on stream.

(they defintitely know who she'll choose to cosplay but it's fine)

when she reaches the unreconciled stars event, she's really excited to learn about the fated meteorite granting sleep upon touch.

she's ready to go around teyvat in search of an answer when...

"katheryne! vassal of the immernachtreich, do mine ears deceive me, or didst thou cry out mine holy name in earnest supplication not one moment ago?"

some of her chat is obviously confused by your speech but her long time viewers can understand some of it.

oz, who fischl had brought with her to play, seems excited to see your familiar flying to you :)

fischl is just as excited as he is!!

please you speak just like her and you're voice is so nice and it actually sounds like the developers put thought into what the speech would mean in "proper speech."

"a pleasure to meet you again, katheryne."

YOU'RE FAMILIAR IS JUST AS COOL AS YOU ARE!!

some of her viewers will beg for her to skip through your dialogue.

when she sees those comments, she will purposefully let your dialogue play out, proceed to read out that same dialogue, and respond to you as if she was actually talking to you.

not just to spite them but because it's also a lot of fun for her <3

"it would seem the gods have blessed us with meeting such a well-respected being!"

translation: she's really excited to have met you.

as soon as you spoke she decided she would cosplay as you.

she's already planning out all of the materials she'll need and how much time it would take.

if your familiar is a bird, you best bet oz will be in her photo shoots for your cosplay.

most of the time you're on screen, she'll talk to her viewers about you in her classic chuunibyou style <333

she's really sad when it's time for you to leave :(((

"... goodbye, fischl. you are a good listener. i enjoy chatting with you. to be honest, most of the other adventurers in the guild only ever talk to me when they wanna hear (familiar)'s reconnaissance reports... this little journey we had... it was a great adventure. i'm just sorry that is has to end so abruptly..."

she might cry wait--

she relates to you even more now :(

"ah! what am i doing? i totally broke form..."

you're too cute pleas--

mona's playthrough -

mona does a lot of nightly streams.

it's very rare for you to catch her streaming with daylight.

she likes to share things about astrology while sitting outside drinking something warm.

she'll do a lot of nightly gaming streams as well.

mainly calmer games that people can vibe to in the background.

she prefers to keep her streams lowkey and chill, much like the life she wants to lead.

if only she had the money to do so...

yes, mona is still struggling with money even as a streamer.

she greatly appreciates any donations her fans give to her because she practically relies on them to pay her rent and daily necessities.

of course, it's not like she's completely struggling, just enough to barely get her by.

anyway, her fans ask her about playing genshin impact, inticing her with their talk about the stars and night sky in the game.

she's the type of player to take her time in the environment and take a lot of pictures of her character at night.

she's actually really excited when she hears about this new event centering around the stars and sky :D

soon enough, she gets around to the part where she is need of an astrologist.

she's HYPED to hear there's an astrologist in the game.

"someone looking for me? who is it?"

she will squeal, please.

look at you!!!

your whole design has stars and is space-themed and you're so cute and you're voice is so soothing ! ! !

she really likes listening to you talk about astrology because your voice gets even softer than before.

that scene where you go to the cliff??

please she has that scene as her lockscreen <3

you just look so cool when you start to do your process.

you're so focused and the way they animate your process in the game is beautiful.

and then the fatui harbinger interrupts one of your meetings :00

you grab onto mona's character and teleport away in a cloud of stars and specks of your elemental vision.

she's kinda embarrassed when you scold her about getting involved with the harbinger--

but not only are you really cool and awesome, you're super strong, too!

please be sassy more she really likes how proud you sound :))

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact fischl #genshin impact fischl x reader #genshin fischl #genshin fischl x reader #fischl x reader #genshin impact mona #genshin impact mona x reader #genshin mona #genshin mona x reader #mona x reader #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin impact scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche #genshin scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x reader #reader impact

[hekate1308]

Fictober #3

Prompt: I’ve waited for this

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairings: Gen, Crowley & Dean Winchester

As he had pointed out more than once, patience had never been one of his virtues.

So it was probably only logical that he was now forced to wait. And wait. And wait.

Figured he would be the one demon who couldn’t rest in the Empty, not even after he had offed himself to save the boys.

No, here he was, sitting there, with nothing to occupy or distract him but his own thoughts, waiting for –

Well, what, really?

If he was being honest, he didn’t know. If he’d been Cassie, the Winchesters would have moved Heaven (hah) and earth to bring him back, naturally, but he was – well, yes, he had been their enemy.

But if you asked him, for just long enough that he might have been considered a friend.

Oh, who was he kidding. Of course they didn’t think of him as a friend.

But still – he had early on decided that they might at least have wondered what had happened to him after he had stabbed himself.

Not that it mattered. He was still here, still waiting for God knew what, it wasn’t as if anything would change.

Because that was what the Empty was – what angels and demons, much as they pretended they were completely different, both deserved in the end. Just changeless, boring Nothing. They didn’t have the imagination humans needed to survive, so they had never got to picture a better ending for themselves, and it showed.

Not even the Empty itself spoke to him. He’d tried in the beginning, for the simply reason that there was nothing else to do, but it had remained stubbornly silent. When he tried really hard to connect with it, he could have sworn it was… almost angry. At something or someone.

At least he could relate. Not that it helped, since it still wouldn’t talk to him.

Crowley wondered how long he had been here. It felt both like he’d arrived only yesterday and been here forever.

At least when he had first gone to Hell as a human, there had been torture to keep him occupied, to change him into who he had eventually become. But here?

All the others were asleep. Lucky bastards.

They didn’t know.

They didn’t dream.

They didn’t miss – miss anything, really.

Like Craig.

Or Juliet.

Or, worst of all – people.

Even back when he had climbed his way up Hell’s hierarchy, he had never been a proper demon. Damned and angry and full of pain, yes, but he had been all of that when he had been human still, so that had been nothing knew – and of course he had always been open of those who remembered. It had been somewhat of a shock to realize that the other demons had readily forgotten who they had once been. He had never had that luxury.

So, really, it just made sense that he was the one who remembered now, too. The way Dean had looked at him on that last day – the punch – and last but not least that despite all of that, he had still been the one to dress his wounded hand afterwards, because that was who Dean Winchester always had been.

But he normally abandoned that train of thought as quickly as he could because – well, did he really need more pain?

As long as he didn’t feel bored, that was. Once he was desperate enough again to want to feel anything, anything but the hollowness of the Empty, it was easy enough to bring the pain back.

And pain, he had to acknowledge, was all he had, these days.

Would it have been too much to ask the Empty to splurge for a TV, at least?

And then – things changed in the most unexpected of ways.

Or maybe not unexpected after all. Who else would he have been waiting for, anyway?

It wasn’t a sudden change. No, it happened slowly – so slowly he wasn’t even aware of it at first – but the Empty suddenly didn’t seem so… dark anymore.

He would almost have hoped that he was finally sinking into oblivion only it certainly didn’t feel like it.

Instead, he became aware of a pull, something tugging at him –

And then, he was unceremoniously yanked back to earth.

He really could have done without pummelling down onto a field like a stray meteorite, but what could you do?

At least, he thought when his eyes blinked open and he found himself staring straight at Dean Winchester, he had expected this.

“So” he simply stated as he got up and did his best to fix his suit, “What do you need?”

Dean blinked. “What?”

“I’ve been waiting for this” he shrugged. What other reason could the boys have to bring him back? “So, what do you need?”

Only to feel utterly confused a moment later.

For Dean simply shook his head. “Don’t go all dramatic on me, Peaches. Figured it was fair to try and get you back, that’s all. Get in the car.”

#fictober21 #spn #my writings #crowley #dean winchester #if you thought this could work without crowley saving you haven't been paying attention

[bloodpacks-archive]

astral for saeyoung astral for saeyoung astral for saeyoung oh my god

wooo everyone here is (finally) my first fic for my birthday event!! i apologize for the fact that this has taken 3 days, my work assigned me too much shit this week.

astra | saeyoung choi

warnings: idk man introspection

word count: 853

He’s gotten into the habit of tracing across her skin. Here she is, bare back beside him, lit up by the faux constellations that dot his ceiling, and his fingers seem to be connected to her in a way that is beyond something he could ever describe. It’s not just a desire to feel her, a yearning to know that she’s physical and there and entirely his—no, it’s something so far beyond that, something that settles into the marrow of his bones and in the movement of his joints; it’s an air that circles around them, one that pushes like the sweet breeze of summer until he can no longer resist its motion; a hum in his blood, a beg and a whine from somewhere so deep within himself that he cannot hear it, can only feel the way it presses him further and closer into her. And so his fingers are inevitably part of her skin, an extension of her as much as they are an extension of him and his body.

She’s quiet tonight, her breath something of phantoms and ghosts that haunt his ears—though both are welcomed gladly into his space. She’s illuminated by the depths of the dusk light, dusted by blues that are entirely fit for her skin, but the constellations upon his ceiling—though never harsh—are enough to provide enough light to make out the patterns that cross her back. Though the real stars are enough to provide him with the shape of her body, with the way she curves and arches and slips into linen sheets, his glow-in-the-dark stars bring out the dimples of her back, the freckles that dot across her shoulder blades and all the way down the rest of her back and waist—the mixture of the lights allows him to examine every part of her, allows him the joy of letting his eyes fall over something that could only be compared to sugared stars and meteorites left to form saccharine constellations that he could almost taste (has kissed and tasted, if he’s being quiet honest, and each time he’s left with that deep whine settling somewhere in his chest, that damn beg for something more as though there’s anything more for either of them to give).

His touch runs up the length of her spine, and she curls beneath him, a sudden intake of breath becoming a sweet melody in his ears. He laughs, a little breathless, and watches as she stirs and turns her head to look at him.

Her gaze is so sweet, her eyes obstructed by both the hefty feeling of sleep and the pieces of hair that have fallen in front of her face. She doesn’t speak, only watches as his fingers continue to trace the orbit of her back, following the way the nebulas of her flesh curl around her body.

He leans down and presses his lips to her shoulder blade—the top of his little galaxy map that he’s made for himself upon her skin—and feels as she hums beneath him, letting her eyes slip shut again as she shifts and turns in her fatigue. Her head now rests on her crossed arms and she faces him, though her eyes flutter open and shut as though she’s trying to stay awake and failing quite miserably. He laughs as he lightly scratches his nails up her back again, and she sighs, arching up into him as he presses another set of kisses to her back.

It’s not uncommon for him to see her like this—for her to have fallen asleep far before he’d ever gone to bed—but it’s rarer for him to see her like this long after he’s climbed between their sheets, long after his hands and his lips have explored every inch of her body and covered her in the kind of love that he can make tangible.

It’s rare for her to be somewhere between sleep and wake, and for him to be able to watch her drift between the two, his hands free to roam as much as she allows them. And though this moment is rare, it is certainly not one he’d exchange for every star in the damn sky. He would live forever in darkness if it meant he could still feel her fingertips upon his skin, accept night as his only home if it meant that her voice could guide him there.

He’s always loved the darkness that can be found in the brilliance of the unknown, anyway. If he had to explore it, he would explore it with her, with her breath surrounding his ears and her laughter resounding deep within his own chest.

She stirs again, an intake of breath as she tries to open her eyes at him. He presses a kiss just behind her ear before speaking.

“No, babe,” He says, near laughter biting at every syllable, “go to sleep.”

“And you, my love,” She mumbles, reaching around him to pull him down into their pillows, pulling them closer and closer in this growing darkness. “Sleep.”

#saeyoung choi #707 #saeyoung choi x reader #707 x reader #luciel choi #luciel choi x reader #mysme fanfic #mysme #mystic messenger fanfiction #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger

[pantheon-god-of-war]

If possible, are there any Pantheon skins that you wish to be Canon?

Just give us a Legendary The Warrior skin of Pantheon reborn.

Lore wise it could be after the Ruination. Atreus has expelled Pantheon from his body with his own gritty resolve, Pantheon requires a vessel to take form in mortal shape but the war of the Ruination has caused so much havoc and strengthened him so much that he manages to keep a corporal form for a brief while. He retreats to the peak of Targon and to spite Atreus revives his long-dead friend Pylas to possess and mold his flesh to the war gods needs. Pantheon is fully in control because Pylas has long since died, only using the body himself.

Now Pantheon pursues the interests of Targon and his own dark desires while Atreus tries to actively counter the War god. Both will still fight the darkin, but for different reasons. Pantheon will do so because they threaten Targon Prime and Atreus does so to save the humans that's would undoubtedly die in the wake of the darkin.

VOICELINES

Pantheon differs from Atreus in a few key aspects (heh) where Atreus is noble and stalwart, Pantheon is deliberate and ruthless, where Atreus anger towards the gods is a cold and determined hate Pantheon's contempt for mortals, darkin and all those who would face him is clearly made evident, he speaks with pride, being condescending to everyone he encounters, thirsting for another challenge to vanquish. His LoR voice lines already highlight his personality quite well and I think the sound effects work perfectly for him, that could all be ported from LoR into league to replicate the sound effect. Voice line wise he could have interactions with the following:

Pantheon (Atreus) - While Pantheon does not outright hate Atreus like let's say Aatrox for example he sees the mortal man as a failure of a warrior, knowing only defeat his entire life. Interactions would be more condescending.

Ascended Pantheon - Here Pantheon would see Ascended Atreus as a worthy challenge, something along the lines of "Perhaps now you can prove yourself worthy." Or something more condescending. "No matter the cosmic might you hold, you will always be a mortal."

Aatrox - He loathes Aatrox with a passion for what he did to him, but also realizes that the Darkin might be his only true equal combat-wise.

Leona - Pantheon would be fond of Leona, applaud her for her fine work, call her the daughter of Targon, and that the sun is proud of what she has wrought upon the Mountain. He would tell her that she is right, that she needs to defend her people from the coming darkness and not grow careless upon her golden throne. He would support the militaristic order of the Solari and goad on their zealous witch hunt as in the end all he cares about is war and the more carnage Leona causes on the mountain in the name of the sun, the stronger he gets.

Diana - Diana is the same as Leona, he would tell her to keep fighting, to hold on and think of her people. That he can see the cracks in the Solari foundation and that soon the moon will triumph. Much like Leona, these are sweet lies to goad both of them onward to fight harder and grow more reckless in their pursuit of victory.

Taric - Taric is the antithesis to Pantheon, championing love and life against his war and hate, He would call out Taric and try to kill the noble hero because he spits on the ideals Taric protects.

Soraka - Pantheon would be disappointed in Soraka, to have forsaken the stars for these mortals, he would never understand and while he is not hostile he also tells her that she is dead to him. Just another mortal.

Zoe - He would want to know how Zoe sealed the Darkin away, and if there is a way to make them disappear forever. He would also be annoyed by her childish appearance/demeanor since Myisha was a lot more mature than Zoe.

Aurelion Sol - He would remind Aurelion Sol that with his return the tether locking him to Targon grows stronger again. It has been Pantheon for ages to bind Aurelion to Targon and now with him returned Pantheon will make sure Aurelion is put back in his place.

Other Darkin - He would simply tell them that their end is nigh, that Pantheon has found them, and that they are about to expire.

Other Gods/Demi Gods - here it depends on how many interactions would be wanted, he could comment on the powers of the sun disc being borrowed from the Sun/Solari/Leona's aspect or challenge Volibear to a fight. Lots more here if interactions need to be stretched out.

Sion - Pantheon looks kindly on Sion, a beast revived for war, its very humanity dull and eroded where only violence and anger remain. Pantheon would call Sion his champion of War and tell him to go slaughter in the name of war.

Other Warriors (Garen/Tryndamere/Darius/Olaf/etc) He would salute them and challenge them to combat, noting how a death at his feet is the greatest honor they can wish for.

A cool idea for VO would be that he gets a Taunt like normal champs but then you get different voice lines for ally champions when you hit taunt.

Example

Enemy Pantheon - "Atreus, you come before me again, with my very own spear. Kneel boy. A dog should recognize it's better."

Ally Pantheon - "You feel the power, let loose Atreus, show me your rage and perhaps you will be worthy of my favor."

Enemy Aatrox - "Another one of your flesh puppets for me to rend Aatrox? Pathetic!"

Ally Aatrox - "You and me against them?! Who can stand against Aspect AND Darkin?"

Enemy Leona - "You say you burn as the sun does! So then, show me your fire girl!"

Ally Leona - "The daughter of Targon and War eternal who could hope to stand against such a phalanx of spear, sword, and shield?"

I always wanted to have more interaction with allies, since you only see enemy champions every now and then, and even if you do they mostly attack you and never let you enjoy the interactions. Whereas if you play with friends you can actually enjoy this content of ally interaction. Idk why Riot has not done this before.

MODEL

The base design doesn't have to differ so much from the Legends of Runeterra Warrior design. (KEEP IT RED) Red stands for hot-headed aggression, red stands for fire, red stands for blood. Red is a color much more fitting to war than blue and the argument that Pantheon's cape is blue to show his allegiance with the stars is null and void since LoR showed us all HOW GOOD red looks on Pantheon. It fits so much better.

Some small tweaks here and there perhaps but overall the base model looks great. If the cape would be longer and more flowing like Yoric it would be great, aside from that there could be small visual design changes for reaching levels 6/11/16. Also as a longtime Pantheon main I really love the aesthetic of his face being shrouded, I dislike the new post rework Pantheon skins for that very reason. Pulsefire, Ruined and even Ascended Pantheon are all marred by the face that they show his face, when his facelessness was something that made him stand out. In this skin he should absolutely not have a face since he is a divine being that helmet should be his face, the face of war, nothing else.

The colors get brighter and hotter, to signal that Pantheon is getting supercharged with the psychic energies of war, colors would go from red-orange to bright yellow, additionally, the number of spears in his cape could also increase from 2/4/6 at levels 6/11/16 with small edits like the passive fire on spear and shield and the fire plume increasing in sizes slightly.

ADDITIONALLY

There could be a number of smaller tweaks to make the VFX stand out. Like pulling a new spear from his cape after Pantheon throws it. Or that Pantheon doesn't even throw the main spear but shoots a spear forward from his cape as he can manifest them. Voicelines like "Unstoppable, War eternal an Invincible!" could be added to his E whenever he uses it as if he mocks whoever dares attack him. "Here mortal, or just Heel!" when he stuns you.

His ult could be Pantheon coming straight down where the spear lands, instead of in an angle, and the angle is then covered by either a spear storm or meteorite shards. The straight-down Pantheon landing being a homage to Grand Skyfall. He does not land sooner and he still shoots down a spear first, but this time he just lands from above.

As for the dance, either you give him some workout to flex on people or you give him the Ricardo Milos dance. Which let's be honest, everyone wants to see.

Lore wise I think Pantheon is very important. Currently, we have Pantheon (Atreus) Diana and Taric who are all outright heroes. Aphelios serves under Diana and Zoe does not really care she does whatever she wants. Soraka while a hero lives secluded. Targon only has Leona as a villain and the celestial Pantheon would fill that slot very well. He is the god of war, he would try to rouse them all against one another and also give them a reason to unite against him. To fight together, and perhaps even be incentive enough for Leona and Diana to lay down their weapons and join forces.

Additionally, all it takes is a skin to create a champion's worth of impact on the league universe. There doesn't need to be a new champion from Targon to push the narrative forward which means less time that needs to be invested on Riots part.

Thank you for your time, I will be sitting here on my mountain top, waiting and hoping that I started a fire.

#Pantheon #the warrior

[mightynonagesimus]

15 Minutes (What If I Told You)

ANGST WITH AN UNHAPPY ENDING. DO NOT READ FOR A GOOD TIME. This is a supercorp oneshot I wrote after I hear the title song. Very Angsty, you are warned. Trigger Warning : Angst, mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Obiviously. This is pre-apocalypse.

11:27,

Monday, July 13th

Lena's Loft,

National City.

It was very unnoticeable at first. Solar flares from a nearby galaxy far enough that they didn't think much of it. A few explosions a couple galaxies down hardly warranted the DEO's involvement. Besides, Earth had different things to worry about. The Team had different things to worry about. Probably. Lena wouldn't know anymore, would she? After the Fortress, she had taken extra precautions to block every single one of them out of her life. She didn't need anyone. She just needed to save the world.

And to be honest? Lena was ashamed it took her that long to figure it out. It wasn't like her. The  Prodigy of her generation. The CEO of one of the biggest Tech Corporations in America. The sister of Earth's most infamous criminal mastermind.

If she had just gotten out of bed, checked any of her projects, called her secretary back. But she was too numb, too empty. Lying in bed, unable to move or think. Wishing to die. She couldn't even muster up the energy to lift a hand, it was just... pathetic.

After a week, Jess had had enough. It took Sam flying over from Metropolis to even get Lena out of bed. Sam had no idea about Kara, of course. But it didn't take long for her to march over to Alex's apartment and threaten her friend until the truth spilled. Lena had never seen that furious. Over Lena, of all people.

She didn't deserve Sam.

***

Sam had been pestering her all week. Bringing over food and staying with her every night. Lena felt like an asshole, taking up so much of her time. That was the main reason she returned to L-Corp after a week That was when she found out about the satellite malfunctions. Some radioactive signature was messing with their signals. That was fine, this was a problem Lena could fix, right? Easy.

Wrong. Turns out the signature was something her systems could recognize. Kryptonite. A giant chunky piece of Kryptonite and debris about the size of a small moon. A Krypto-Comet that was hurtling at half the speed of light from deep space, directly towards Earth.

Mondays, right?

Of course, she contacted the DEO immediately. They were horrified. For a Secret Government Agency handling the extraterrestrial, they had some shockingly bad tech. She wasn't really surprised.  Also, they might have been slightly distracted with Leviathan. Lena had spent the next three days cooped up in a lab with Brainiac 5 desperately trying to come up with a way to deflect it or destroy it, or anything really. Usually, an Anti-Kryptonite suit and Supergirl would have taken care of the problem real quick, but considering the size of the comet and the excessive amount of Kryptonite on it, it just wouldn't be possible. There was no time to call for back-up from Argo City either, with the satellites malfunctioning.

The last five days were utter chaos. Naturally, the news hit the public hard. It was pandemonium, but how could you keep a goddamn meteorite impact from them? The skies were already turning purple.

Lena however, was still in her lab. Over the course of three days, a complete whirlwind of people checked in and out of her lab. People she had never met before. People she had never even heard of. Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow. A scientist named Raymond Palmer with some very interesting ideas on molecular structure and shrinkage. Felicity Smoak. Alex pulled her aside during lunch to explain about the Multiverse.

What. Even. What.

Okay.

It felt like her brain was exploding, but she was their best chance of saving the planet. She had to pull it together. She can't show any weakness.

Alex called for another excruciating meeting the second day.

"Attention! I have some news." Alex exhaled slowly. "Sara?"

"I'm sorry guys, but it's bad. We were unable to prevent this event from not occurring. It happens rarely, but this can't be prevented by modifying the timeline. It's inevitable. We have to find other ways."

"What if we move your population to our Earth?" Harry? Larry? The guy in red spandex asked.

"More than half out Earth's population have doppelgangers in yours. It will mess with the balance of your universe. We can't move them. How about finding an empty universe?"

"Kara is out looking for one, but every Earth we found was either ruined or full. That's too long a shot, I don't think we'll find one in time."

"Well, theoretically-" Brainy hesitated - "My ancestors had a way of...dealing with planets that disagreed with them. They would shrink them down and have them as trophies."

"We can't shrink the planet, the gravitation of the solar system would collapse and we would fall into the sun." Lena muttered distractedly, fiddling with her pen.

"Let's not do that. Any luck contacting Superman?"

"Radio silence. The radiation is messing with communications."

"We could push it through a wormhole, or a portal, but-"

"The comet will be here before we could begin to build it. What if we transport our people to a different planet?"

"Seven billion people on a different planet without nearly enough food and water?"

"Or maybe into a space station?"

"We have four days. To transport seven billion people. And essential items."

"Yeah, that's not gonna work either."

"Okay, let's keep at it guys." Alex clapped her hands together. "There IS a way, we just don't know it yet."

***

Yeah, there was no other way. The days went by in a whirl. They came up with theory after theory, but it was too late. Their world was going to end. Nothing can stop it.

During the last day, Alex ordered every non-Earth-38 person off the universe. And even though there was some resistance, everyone sombrely agreed it was the best move.

A surprising lot of friendships were made that week. World-ending threats tend to do that, apparently. Lena personally never wanted to experience Nia and Zari Tarazi try to cook a pizza together ever again. They almost blasted the dough halfway across the DEO building and into the miniature Nuclear Reactor.

Lena would never, not in a million years, ever admit it; but she wanted what they had.

She couldn't fathom that comfort, that mutual understanding of trust that Nia shared with Zari. How did they build it? How could they rely on it, when they had been strangers only a week ago? How could you share your secrets, yourself, with someone who could potentially turn against you, someone who could be lying through their teeth like Eve was, someone who might hate you just because of a name that you can't change?

Not that anything could be done now. It was too late.

They were gathered at the DEO training facility off-city to say their final goodbyes, except Lena was at L-Corp. It took her a while to accept it, but this time it was real. There was no hail mary, no high stake final masterplan left in her. She was going to die, along with her planet.

So it was the perfect time to break out her finest bottle of scotch.

The L-Corp building was deadly silent. Any other day, Lena would have enjoyed it. The building was almost never fully empty, with the security team and the journalists and the interns who never sleep. Today it put her on edge.

Because she did this. Lena caused all this, it was Lena's fault. She was the reason-

'Alex.'

The tiny blue screen lit up on her desk, ringing insistently. The tech mogul was almost relieved that something interrupted.

The silence. Interrupted the silence.

Lena brought it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Lena!? Where the hell are you?" For a second, Lena relished the panic in Alex's voice. Of course, it probably was over the world ending, but she wanted to pretend that it was over Lena. That Alex actually cared about her.

"What do need me to do, Director Danvers?" Her voice was meant to be posh and clipped as always, but it came out slightly more drunk than she wanted it to.

"Wha-Nothing! I just couldn't find you anywhere so I thought I'd check up on you." Aww, Alex. You don't need to pretend, everything is gonna go to shit anyway.

"Is Sam still there?"

"Uh- Yes. Yeah, she's here. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Nooo." Lena considered it. "No, definitely not."

"Lena, are you drunk?"

Lena exhaled loudly. "Why did you call me, Director?"

"Because the universe is ending!" Lena cringed away from the phone. That was too loud for her sleep-deprived brain.

"I don't see your point." She huffed back.

"Goddammit. Look, Kara and I will keep looking for a solution, you don't need to worry, okay? You know she never gives up. Nia and the others-"

"Please just stop." Lena begged.

"I-Stop?" Lena could picture Alex's face. She hated that she did.

"I don't care! About anything, anymore. Just leave me alone. Goodbye, Alex."Sorry I pulled so much shit.

Lena switched it off and chucked it across the room, onto her couch. It bounced over the cushions and fell over.

She was alone, now.

"Hope?"

"Greetings, miss Luthor. What can I do for you today?" Hope was always here. Lena's only constant companion through everything. Even if it did wear the face of her traitor friend.

"You understand that this will be the last day?"

"Yes, miss Luthor-"

"Lena. Call me Lena."

The robot cocked its head to the side. Why did Lena program it so life-like?

"Lena. Would you like for me to call anyone else?"

"No, thank you. How long is it now?"

"Seventeen minutes and three seconds."

Lena cradled her head. It felt like her brain was swimming in the alcohol. At least she won't have to feel this tomorrow.

"Execute terminal orders and shut down, please."

"Executed. Goodbye, Miss Luthor."

The hologram blinked off. Lena swirled the last of the scotch in her glass. It didn't taste nearly as good as she hoped. She set it down in distaste.

God, this was all her doing, wasn't it?

If only Lex could see her now, pushing everyone away, alone and lonely on top of the empire that was built by her psychopathic family. Everything he said that day was true.

And it was all Lena's fault. Because she chose to trust Kara. She chose her new family. She wanted that. She craved that. Even when she knew she could never have it. She's always craved that. This wonderful 'family' she could love with all her heart. They would have been her people, they would love her no matter her last name. They would support her through hell and back. She fucking fantasized about how they would be there for her every birthday, about how she would shower them with love and affection, about game nights and road trips. She didn't give a shit about romantic, platonic, she just wanted someone to be there at the airport when she comes back from month-long expeditions through Europe.

It all seems so naive now. She was still here, on top of an empty building, because of her choices. Because of her stupid, stubborn pride. She must have chosen this, right? This is what she wanted. To be alone. Sixteen minutes from the world ending. She had chosen to be alone, bitter, angry at herself for doing what she had done.

Fuck, no.

But it was too late. Too late to accept her family, too late to enjoy them. Too late to save the world. Too late to apologize.

Too-fucking-late.

Fuuuuuuck, she messed up. What she wouldn't give to go back in time, find her younger self and...eughh. Berate her? Explain? Mug her? Lena had no idea.

This scotch tastes like shit.

Why is time so slow?

Tick.

Tock.

Her life is shit. She would like a refund.

Tick.

The alcohol is really getting to her brain, cause she found that funny.

Toc-

The entire floor rattled when the door flies open behind her. *

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Oh hey, Sam. You did come.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She crossed her arms, raising one brow at her CFO.

"Lena, no." Sam stomped over and wretched the glass away from Lena.

"Goddammit, leave me alone, Sam!" Why I am so shitty all the time Sam?

"No." She repeated firmly.

"What?"

"No. I should have done this a long time ago when I first got back here. I'm not leaving you alone, I'm not letting you drink yourself to death. I'm not let you wallow in your misery when the world is fucking ending and you still stubbornly refuse to put down your pride. I'm not leaving!"

She walked over to Lena's hidden break room and poured the scotch down the sink.

"But I-"

"No. Listen, you dumbass. You've been through some horrible, messed-up shit. Your brother almost destroyed the world multiple times. Your mother was a narcissistic fucking psychopath. I cannot even begin to understand how you feel most of the time. Having every move scrutinized by the world, feeling like you can't trust anyone."

"I trust you."

Sam paused. "I-What?"

"I trust you, Sam. You may be the only person who I can be myself around right now. And-And I know that isn't fair to you, me having constant breakdowns. I keep you from your life and Ruby and I hate it-"

"Lena!" Sam takes her hand. "You can always tell me about it. Everything. And I won't lie, helping you through your trauma isn't easy, especially since you refuse to meet a therapist. But that doesn't mean you can keep everything to yourself. It means that your pain, it matters to me. It is a piece of you that you have shared with me, and it isn't going to fucking evaporate the second I know about it. You matter. Your trauma matters. To me, and to everyone at the DEO. I want to help you." She inhaled deeply.

"And I can't promise that everything is going to be fine, I don't even know if we'll exist an hour from now, but I can tell you this. You don't deserve all this pain. That doesn't mean you don't have it. You are not responsible for what your family did, and you are not responsible for your mother's death. You don't deserve to die alone and at odds with everyone you love."

"Sam, but I-"

"And I'm sorry, I know Kara and the others messed up. But they love you. They are your family now. And I can't watch you punish yourself over this. Lena, it's time to let go."

Tears lined Lena's eyes. "I can't do it, Sam!"

"You can."

"I can't! I trusted Kara with everything. I shared every piece of me with her. Love and family were supposed to cure me! I made myself completely powerless, I was vulnerable, and she threw it back at my face. I cannot make that mistake again!"

"It's not fucking magic, Lena! Love isn't a cure-all. It doesn't mean everything bad that ever happened disappears! It only means that you aren't alone in your fight. Family and friendship, it  takes work! You have to see them, and they have to see you. And Kara and the others, they love you!"

"If they fucking love me so much, why do they keep hurting me? Why am I the only one who gets lied to?!"

"It not that fucking simple! Everyone there has their own stuff. We're fucking terrified all the time. And now everything we ever feared is happening, and we can't even fucking be together!"

"What, now you're on their side?!" Lena heard the words spill out her head as messily as she felt, drenched in bitterness and insecurity. "Should've known that you would turn on me too."

Regret fills her immediately, but Lena drops Sam's hand like a searing pan.

Fuck.

"How can you think that?" Sam's voice was quiet now. Her eyes, Lena realized, were also filled with tears.

This is it. This is the moment I chase away the last person who's ever cared for me. One last screw over that will be wiped after the comet hits. One more mistake in my endless list.

Sam raised her arms. Lena reflexively leaned back, her heart hammering against her chest. Shit. She knew how this goes. She's seen enough fights between Lillian and Lionel end. She could hear the resonating crack from almost two decades ago. Lionel might have loved Lena, but he wasn't all that kind to Lillian.

You deserve this. You failed. You failed to protect yourself,  failed to protect the universe. You are never going to be enough. You failed both your families, you failed yourself.

Warmth burst around her. Sam wrapped her arms around Lena.

What in the world... why was Sam hugging her?

Shit, this feels nice.

"Sam?"

"There are no sides, Lena. That's the whole point. You are a part of this family, and we will fight like hell to keep it that way." Sam stroked her hair. "We aren't perfect, we are flawed, we hurt each other. But we aren't alone. We love fiercely, and we have each other's back. We take care of our own. And you are one of us. We love you. We are here if you accept us."

Lena sniffled against Sam's shirt. A fierce rush of gratitude rushed through her. Sam has always been her rock, her constant for almost six years now. She's had her back so many times. Her best friend.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Sam." Lena sobbed. "Shit, it's too late. I can't fix everything. I messed up. I messed the whole thing up-"

"Hey. There's still time." Sam drew back and swiped at her eyes. "You can still call Alex. We have... seven minutes left."

Lena nodded, biting her lip.

"Thank you, Sam."

She shakily dialed her phone.

"Alex?"

***

"Hi! Aunt Lena!" A little bundle of joy crawled into Lena's lap and gave her a hug.

Ruby.  She always meant a lot to Lena. Maybe because Lena never really had an aunt while she grew up. Maybe because her hugs were made of pure love; because Ruby is the most wonderful little human Lena ever met. Maybe because there was no tension, no tears involved. Ruby felt like hugging Lena, so she did.

It was the first time Lena cracked a smile in over a year.

"Hello, little monkey. Did you eavesdrop our whole fight?" She mussed her hair.

"Hey! I'm fourteen now. Not so little anymore." She carefully flattened her hair down. "And I know what swear words are, Auntie."

"Do you, now?"

"Yes!" She huffed. "Mom said she's making Mac and Cheese. She said your fridge was full of atrocious rabbit fodder and she hid about seventy percent of your kale." Ruby's voice dropped low and she whispered conspiratorially. "It's behind the eggs, don't tell her said that. Not that we'd be needing it anymore." She glanced sadly at the red skies.

"Are you okay, little monkey?"

"Aunt Lena, is there really no way to destroy the comet?" Ruby asked her.

Lena's heart broke. At that moment, she would've given anything to be back in her lab three weeks ago when they first found the comet. To have found a way out of this catastrophe.

She smiled sadly at Ruby. "I'm sorry, monkey. There's nothing we can do."

How do you tell a child that you failed her, that the entire world was gonna burn? That they were all going to die?

"It's okay, Aunt Lena. I love you." She kissed Lena on the cheek.

The elevator bell dinged and Lena could hear the doors open with a hiss. Her's mouth got just a little dry.

"I'm going to go help mom with the cheese. You should talk to them."

"Wait, Ruby-" she was gone. Great.

Lena exhaled shakily and got to her feet.

Here goes. Oh god. Why did I do this? This is a bad idea, shit. Shit, shit, shit. They still hate me why did I call them, they- Alex.

It was Alex. Suddenly, it wasn't the monsters that she was facing. It was Alex and Kelly and Nia and Brainy. Her family.

Alex stumbled forward first. "Lena, I-" She interrupted herself by crashing into Lena-"I'm so fucking sorry. I should've told you when the whole thing with Reign happened, but then Kara told me that she had to work things out between you and Supergirl, and then I lost my memories for a while-" Lena realized with a jerk that Alex was sobbing against her shoulder.

"-I feel like such an awful friend." Alex's voice cracked.

"Ale-Alex! Hey, it's okay." And for the first time, Lena really meant it. "I'm sorry too. I just felt-"

"Betrayed. I know. I'm sorry." She repeated, stepping away from Lena. She gave Lena a small smile. Smaller, but much like the one she gave Lena the first time they met in Kara's apartment. Tired, but it gives off so much warmth that Lena could feel it. It reminded Lena of all the times they spent together. All the days when they made small explosions in her lab and teamed up for game night.  When Alex took her to self-defense classes and showed her fancy tricks with her guns. She was Lena's best friend. She is.

"Brainy, Nia." God, it felt good to- Lena couldn't even describe it. She missed this. Her friendship with Brainy was one of the few things she treasured most in the world. He was the only one who could ever match her intellect, her best lab partner. Her friend. And to the lonely twelve-year-old genius from the Luthor family, that was everything. And Nia was one of the bravest people Lena knew, unafraid to be herself and face the world. Fighting every day for the greater good. And she was more than that, she was the one who taught Lena that she didn't have to hide who she was. Lena will be a Luthor her entire life. She just had to embrace it. Or as Nia had framed, quite eloquently; 'own it.'

Kelly, and her crazy therapy skills. Lena regretted not spending more time with her. She was such a wonderful person. Kelly was the silent rock of their group, Lena could see that now. She was always there and she knew exactly what to say. In Lena's eyes, she was magical. So determined in supporting her friends through everything. The sweetest, most bad-ass person out of them all.

Shit, Lena was crying now.

"No more little boxes, Lena." Brainy whispered in her ear, and she giggled. Even Lena was surprised by that.

He was right. No more boxes. She has three minutes left to live and she wasn't going to crush herself with the weight of her stupid boxes.

There was still one more person-

"Kara. I'm sorry Lena, she- couldn't make it." Alex squeezed her shoulder. "Barry's Earth- they don't have a Kara. She can live there and not disintegrate. I told her to go with him. I'm sorry, Lena."

Lena's lungs filled with lead.

"Yes, of course." Lena's voice sounded far away even to herself. "She deserves to live there, in peace. I'm sorry, excuse me."

Something akin to panic swelled over her. Anxiety? Sorrow? Feelings were not Lena's strong suit. Panic attacks, unfortunately, she's already dealt with. She backed away from the room, almost knocking Sam over in the process. "Uh- Bathroom."

The door slammed behind her, and Lena splashed her face with cold water.

She would never get to apologize, she would never even get to see Kara again. Her best friend. Her soulmate. And now, she would die without Kara knowing- knowing that-

Because Lena only ever hated herself. She could never,ever hate Kara.

She curled into a ball on the floor, trying to physically hold herself together so she didn't fall apart. She couldn't fall apart, not right now. Her heart was racing and her breathing was short and distressed.

"Lena? Open the door." Alex's voice, carried in through the door.

"I-I'll be right out!" Even Lena knew they won't buy it. She could hear her voice crack with emotion.

"Lena? You don't have to go through this alone, I just told you that." Her voice was soft, and Lena chose to listen.

"I know it's hard. I know you miss her, and I can't imagine what it must feel after everything that happened between you and Kara. It was difficult for me too. I'm leaving her alone, just like everyone else in her life. I'm leaving her and her world is ending again, and we can't do anything about it. I hate it. I broke my promise. She doesn't deserve this pain, and you don't either."

The door creaked open. Suddenly it was Alex surprised by the hug.

"Alex, I'm so sorry."

"Lena." Alex wrapped her arms around the small brunette. "Trust me, she knows. She knows that you love her."

Lena sniffed and pulled back.

"That's just it, Alex." Lena's voice grew softer. "She doesn't know that I'm in love with her."

"You're in love with me?" A small, hopeful voice echoed from the back of the room.

The blonde superhero stepped forward with the sunny smile Lena loved. "Sorry I'm late but, I bought emergency Potstickers." She waved a bag at the rest of them.

"Kara-" The word was out of her mouth before she realized it, but then it was Lena in Kara's arms and nothing else mattered. She buried her head in the Kryptonian's shoulders.

"Hey." Kara tucked a strand of hair behind Lena's mismatched eyes, and Lena fucking melted.  "You know, I've been doing some research." Her voice was low and breathy.

"Oh yeah?" Lena's eyes shined as bright as the red skies outside. Kara thought she could see the whole galaxy in her them.

"I think I finally know what Quantum Entanglement means." She rested her forehead against Lena's and smiled softly.

Lena's heart was racing. She reached up and caught Kara's lips in hers.

"I love you too, Lena."

***

"System error. Terminal order simulation failed."

Lena gasped and fell to her knees.

"Redirect operations to internal systems." She gasped, tears streaming down her face.

Just a few more, a few more minutes. Please. I need to hold her. I need to be held by her.

"Simulation failed."

"No! No, no, no. Please. Try again." Lena fumbled with her screen.

"Simulation failed."

"TRY AGAIN, GODDAMMIT." Lena cried, her voice full of raw emotion.

"Simulation failed. Shutting down. Thirty seconds left in final countdown."

"NO! I SAID FUCKING TRY AGAIN!"

"Twenty-five seconds."

The air was getting hotter. She could already see the streaks of green and red raining down from above outside Kara's window.

"Nooo." She sobbed. "Please, I need to see them. I need to hold her. Please." She crumpled on the floor, holding Kara's green hoodie in her hand. The last piece of her Lena had. The worst part is, Kara wasn't dead. Just lost forever, to Lena.

"Ten seconds."

"Please."

"Five seconds."

"I don't want to be alone." She whispered.

.

.

.

Here's my twitter, go yell at me. https://twitter.com/Keroessa24

#supergirl #supercorp #lena luthor #karlena #kara danvers #sam arias #alex danvers #reigncorp #agentcorp #angst with a sad ending #world ending #apocalypse #lena luthor needs a hug #major character death #post s5 #depression #suicidal thoughts

[thosch3i]

The finale of Ultimate Note airs 12/9 (tonight in China) for VIP. Thank you to this drama for bringing me my favorite Iron Triangle ❤ Longer discussion of why I love it so much, and why I strongly recommend it to book fans (especially those upset with certain previous adaptations) below the cut, apologies if it’s not fully coherent at times because I haven’t slept enough and also it’s almost 1am. But your TLDR is basically: characterization, plot, pacing, relationships are the best of any DMBJ drama. Iron Triangle especially.

First, the pacing of this show is excellent. Pretty much all cdramas I’ve seen or heard of have been inundated with filler, and the previous DMBJ dramas fall victim to this as well. Ultimate Note took 36 episodes to cover 4 book arcs, whereas previous adaptations have taken more episodes to cover far fewer. There’s really not any content you’d be wanting to skip, as almost all of it is plot-relevant or character-relevant.

Second, the plot is the most cohesive out of any DMBJ adaptation. Frankly, this isn’t saying too much, given the novel plot can also be confusing as all hell sometimes, but Ultimate Note goes above and beyond in pulling in information from later books and, if I heard correctly, common fan theories, doing their best to fill in the plot holes left by the author to create a more complete story.

Third, the female characters are actually done well. (As well as they can be, given the source material’s unfortunate habit of fridging its women.) For example, A-Ning’s decision to go the Tamutuo wasn’t because she was ~in love~ with some man. She is a determined individual who has made her choice about her path a long time ago, and she is willing to risk death to achieve her goals. Even her death was done about as well as it could have been--it wasn’t drawn out to the point of it being sickeningly cheesy, and Wu Xie tried his best to honor her goals and bring her to the Palace of the Queen Mother of the West (even emphasizing to Pangzi, “if you died, I would carry you too”). In addition, Chen Wenjin wasn’t stuck in some ridiculous love triangle. She loved Wu Sanxing, of course, but her loving a man isn’t made out to be her entire personality. Her goodbye to Xie Lianhuan is poignant but not mushy. She’s steady and sure in her goals, and she knows what she has to do in order to save herself. Yuncai’s character, as well, I think was handled about as well as it could’ve been given the source material. Her relationship with Pangzi wasn’t overexaggerated and nauseating, and I think their relationship was more tolerable in the drama than it was in the novel overall. (In addition, I prefer how they handled her death in the drama versus the novel--instead of just killing her offscreen, they give her a redemption, and show how she’d grown attached to her new friends, Pangzi especially, resulting in her hesitation to deal the final blow.)

Related to the above point: no added forced romances that destroyed the female characters’ personalities and reduced them to just love interests for men, thank god. Pangzi and Yuncai’s relationship was already there in the novel, but nothing about their relationship was distorted in the drama to the point of being annoying, and Yuncai is shown to have her own goals for cozying up to Pangzi (at first, at least). If you want to get technical about “added romances”, you could honestly argue that it’s Pingxie. (And Hei///hua, but I’ll be honest and say they’re not my cup of tea, so I won’t really be discussing them. However, I do think their characters, while also exaggerated for humor at points, were also done well, and their relationship--while AFAIK was not a really a thing in the books at all?--was written in a way that the development made sense, and their personalities compatible.)

But anyway, while Ultimate Note does make Pingxie seem closer to each other than they were in the novel, we do have to remember that the novel is from Wu Xie’s point of view, and he’s a little bit of a blockhead when it comes to noticing how much Xiaoge cares about him. (IIRC, he wonders if Xiaoge even considers him a friend in Zang Hai Hua...after Xiaoge’s literally called him his “only connection” to this world in book 8.) However, from an outsider POV, it’d be natural for us to see Xiaoge worrying more over Wu Xie. Because from Wu Xie’s perspective, what did he actually see? Xiaoge dropping in to save him a few times and often vanishing or turning away right after, leaving Wu Xie with mixed feelings and confusion about his value to Xiaoge. Xiaoge being aloof before they set off to Tamutuo, claiming that he is a person with no past and future, and that no one would remember him if he disappeared. (Xiaoge smiles before telling Wu Xie that he’s on Wu Xie’s side--that’s a smile that the viewers see, but that Wu Xie doesn’t.) Most of Xiaoge’s visible worry for Wu Xie in the desert was also when Wu Xie himself was not there to see it. During the scene where the fungus was growing in Wu Xie’s stomach, he was entirely out of it while Xiaoge visibly panicked about hurting him, and after the fungus was dealt with, Xiaoge only stood off to the side--only to smile faintly to himself, relieved, after Wu Xie wakes up. (Again a smile that the viewers see, but that Wu Xie doesn’t.) But because from an outsider POV we can see all this, while Wu Xie remains partly ignorant, lines like “thankfully, I didn’t bring death upon you” and Xiaoge calling Wu Xie is only connection to the world seem that much more logical, now that we can see some of the depth and development of how much Xiaoge does care about Wu Xie.

That brings me to the primary reason why I love Ultimate Note, because the main selling point for me on any franchise is not actually world-building or plot, but rather the characters and the relationships between those characters. And for DMBJ, the relationship I’m always looking for--and the relationship that the entire franchise ultimately centers around--is the Iron Triangle. And the mutual trust and the strength of the bond between this Iron Triangle is unmistakable; no one is treated as expendable.

As much as we have joked about Xiaoge's double standards with Wu Xie versus Pangzi, the end of the Banai arc especially and the last five episodes have cemented the importance of Xiaoge and Pangzi's friendship. Their relationship is often the weakest leg of the Iron Triangle in DMBJ adaptations, but Ultimate Note has nailed it. Pangzi helps carry Xiaoge out of Tamutuo, and Pangzi's the one who primarily takes care of Xiaoge after he loses his memories. There's also Xiaoge's clear worry over Pangzi after Yuncai's death, and his assurance that Pangzi won't die as long as he is here in the later episodes when the two of them are separated from Wu Xie--showing that the Iron Triangle is a triangle; Wu Xie isn't the single connection that Xiaoge and Pangzi's relationship hinges upon.

Pangzi and Wu Xie's friendship doesn't need much explaining: the two of them bicker like they're brothers, and they could probably star in their own buddy-cop comedy together. Both Pangzi and Xiaoge are shown to be clearly worried for Wu Xie after the Xie Lianhuan reveal, and even though neither of them quite know how to handle it, they are there for Wu Xie. And of course, there's the scene where Pangzi pours out the water while they're waiting for Xiaoge to leave the meteorite. Wu Xie cries for Pangzi when they're in the Miluotuo cave and he chooses to carry out Xiaoge first, and once again, his worry for Pangzi after Yuncai's death is palpable. Even when Wu Xie has to leave Pangzi in Banai, he instructs Xiaoge to look after him (not that Xiaoge really needed the instruction, anyway--that’s his best friend, too).

Wu Xie and Xiaoge's relationship needs even less explaining: anyone who's watched the show can attest to how much they care about each other. From Wu Xie's frantic scrambling to grab the tapes upon hearing they were from "Zhang Qiling" and Xiaoge's introduction in the show being him stopping outside Wushanju to stare up (longingly?) at the sign, we see their relationship unfold in all of its quiet pining and lingering looks. When Xiaoge claims no one would know if he disappeared from this world, Wu Xie doesn't hesitate in promising that he, at least, will. Xiaoge smiles before telling Wu Xie that he's on his side, and Wu Xie vows to walk with Xiaoge until the very end. During the entire Tamutuo trip, Xiaoge is visibly worried for Wu Xie--when the parasitic fungus grew in his stomach, that worry was the most clear. But Wu Xie worries for Xiaoge too: insisting on going to save Xiaoge from the snakes that night when they all went blind; swearing that even if he faces death, he would wait for Xiaoge to leave the meteorite; telling Xiaoge that he will take him home. (Related: the soft, almost vulnerable way Xiaoge tells Wu Xie “take me home” in episode 31.) Not to mention--even when Xiaoge loses his memories, he still remembers Wu Xie. (And Pangzi smiles knowingly right after that scene.)

There are too many character/relationship moments I could write about, but one that stuck out in particular was when they were facing the spiders, and Wu Xie stopped Xiaoge from cutting his hand and using his blood to make the spiders retreat. At this point, Wu Xie and Pangzi don't know the extent of how Xiaoge was (mis)treated as a child (and used as a blood bag, apparently), but they know about how "A-Kun" was captured used as bait. Wu Xie and Pangzi would never ask Xiaoge to bleed for them, no matter what. Not now, let alone 10+ years later. (I won't name names, but if you know what I'm talking about, then you know.)

Which brings me to my main point: the characters in Ultimate Note are the closest to their novel selves I have ever seen in a DMBJ adaptation, and this is objectively the best adaptation of the DMBJ novel. (Whether you prefer another adaption or not is your opinion--I absolutely love the Time Raiders movie, even though that plot is literally all over the place, and Xiaoge is decently OOC--but Ultimate Note is the best adaptation of the novel, and the characters are the most true to what they actually should be.)

You can see the innocent and naïve Wu Xie, but you can also see the developing confusion, frustration, and anger he feels because he's been lead around by his nose his entire life. And he is angry in the novel; he is a bit of a hot-headed bastard; he's not just a naïve child. I remember seeing some complaints that Wu Xie felt "OOC" in the first episode for being so furious with his San-shu, but I think his reactions were spot-on with how he felt, and how he wanted to react. A similar point is the scene where Wu Xie slammed Xiaoge against the car--aside from just being some fun fanservice, in the novel Wu Xie really was furious at Xiaoge for vanishing on him and never contacting him after leaving the Heavenly Palace in the Clouds. A lot of the novel is Wu Xie's inner thoughts, which are difficult to portray in a live action adaptation, but he really did pretty much want to pick a fight with Xiaoge about disappearing, and  Ultimate Note decided on how to express this frustration in a way that suits a drama adaptation. In addition, you can see how Wu Xie’s past experiences like the trip to Tamutuo has changed him in how he manipulates Panma into bringing him to the lake; and you can see how almost losing Xiaoge and Pangzi to the Miluotuo changed him as well, when he thinks he’s lost them for real in episode 36 (leading up to his decision to put on his San-shu’s mask by the end, despite the fact that “some masks, when worn too long, can no longer be taken off”).

As for Pangzi: even though he has scenes that were clearly exaggerated for comic relief, he has plenty of moments that build his character and the Iron Triangle’s bond. These include him pouring out the water while he and Wu Xie are waiting for Xiaoge, his grief over Yuncai’s death, his standing by Wu Xie during the hotel auction scene, and his almost mother-hen-like worry about Xiaoge while they’re entering the Zhang Family Mansion in the last five episodes. Not to mention, he’s really quite a smart and perceptive character, despite his goofiness: he sees through Xiaoge’s worry about Wu Xie, and he knows when to step in and liven the atmosphere (see: Wu Xie being all awkward about his gift to Xiaoge in episode 31, and Pangzi being there practically just for emotional support). Also in episode 31: Pangzi telling Xiaoge that he’s getting more and more humane (the implications about Wu Xie here are pretty obvious). All in all, Pangzi is a funny person; he is often comic relief, but he’s also a steadfastly loyal friend and someone who loves deeply and without regret. Initially we saw more of his humor, but we definitely got the depths to his character by the end of Ultimate Note.

Finally Xiaoge, who I’m discussing last because he’s my favorite character: for once, I can see the humanity behind the title “Zhang Qiling”, and in a way that isn’t OOC. Xiaoge isn’t treated as a free source of bug-repelling blood; he isn’t treated as some overpowered, untouchable idol; he isn’t treated as a rescue machine for whenever another character needs it. He is a human, not a god. For the rest, I think his actor’s words speak for themselves. (And now I really don’t trust anyone else except him with Xiaoge's character.)

Ultimate Note succeeded in capturing the nuances of its main characters: Wu Xie’s loss of his “tianzhen” and slow maturation to the man he will eventually become by Sha Hai; Pangzi’s outwardly humorous pseudo-caricature but inwardly deeply loyal and loving spirit; Xiaoge’s vulnerabilities, painful humanity, and the “heart” given to him by his mother, hidden beneath a seemingly impenetrable armor. This is an Iron Triangle that feels like the Iron Triangle, without needing say so much in words. This is an Iron Triangle with mutual respect and a friendship I can see and believe in.

In conclusion: Ultimate Note does the story justice; it does the characters justice; it does the relationships justice; and it did all this with a low budget and almost no promotion. You can tell the crew definitely cares about the source material.

My only complaint is that they couldn’t film the finale.

Rambling over! All my love to the Ultimate Note cast and crew <3

#dmbj #zjbj #ultimate note #pingxie #iron triangle #盗墓笔记 #终极笔记 #瓶邪 #the lost tomb 3 #shouting into the void #i was supposed to be writing my essay for grad school LMAO #got 2.5k words of whatever the hell this is instead #basically iron triangle superior is what im saying #this is the longer and slightly more grammatical version of what i posted on twitter a couple days ago #FUCK I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT PAN ZI #you know what its 1am im not editing this now lol

[feyariel]

The Paladin Oaths Ranked

After (finally) answering that ask, I got myself an idea of the 5e Pally in all of its lackluster glory. (Honest question: wtf?) It came with opinions, which I shall now share, ’cuz why keep them to myself?

Ancients: Paladin edging into Ranger territory because Paladin had to grow, I skuppose. Internally inconsistent: tenets are about art, beauty, and goodness, while rest is about nature; turns fey/fiends instead of normal druidic enemies (aberrations/undead); wears metal armor even though druids don’t (can’t make it without mining,¹ which despoils nature). Good thing I’m a sucker for naturey/artsy schlock! 5/10

Conquest: Ah, the edgelord, ’cuz Bane’s “cool” and Lawful Evil is playable, right? Gods, I hate LE: as evil as the other evils, but accepted ’cuz humans are Usually Lawful Neutral. The features are great (very Divine Mind/PsyWar/WoW Ret Pally), but the oath's utter shite. 4/10

Crown: A cop, because “civilization” means “Lawful Neutral”. I mean, it’s a legit oath for a Paladin to take (given historical and etymological origins), but the tenets scream LN, which no me gusta. On the plus side, it’s the best tanking oath. No shield throwing? 4/10

Devotion: Department of Redundancy Department (what is an oath if not a statement of devotion?), but hey, this is Pally Classic remade into a subclass. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: when played properly, it’s superb (10), but you pretty much have to be a 10 to play it that way and otherwise it’s usually crap (2). That means the mean is 6/10 even if the median and mode are 2.

Glory: Jockadin. The absolute worst. Completely misses what divine glory is about in exchange for the same glory any adventurer would get by adventuring, but only in theme. Boring mechanics. 1/10

Redemption: Tries to inject some pacifism into a class that’s about being good and violent. The idea would be fine on another class, but completely misses the point (pun intended) here. 2/10

Vengeance: This is a good oath. It doesn’t compare to Devotion done well, but the mechanics are great (functional, neither redundant nor ill-suited) and the need for a Divine Scourge makes it viable (and will always raise questions about morality, as it always has). 7/10

Oathbreaker: I list this here because the name implies it’s not an oath, but the oath itself is “being a Death Knight/an antipaladin in the truest sense of the word”. Mechanically quite sound. 6/10

Winners: Devotion when played well, Vengeance

Runners Up: Devotion averaged, Oathbreaker because it works, Ancients for themes (despite being disjointed), Conquest for the features, Crown for being best tank and supporting the class’s origins.

Crap: Conquest’s tenets, Devotion most of the time, Glory, Redemption

Oaths I Haven’t Read: Drowned, Liberty/Revolution (if it exists), Trickery

¹ At least, that’s my understanding. The chances of finding enough ore through means other than mining (panning, scouting meteorites, etc.) to make a suit of chain or plate are probably really low.

#5e #Paladin #Oaths

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse April Fools Special: Donald’s Pumbaa Prank (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome to my April Fool’s Special! And it’s also my patreon review for the month as Kev just so happened to randomly hit this one and once I realized it was an april fools episode I moved it up since things have been kinda hectic in the old brainpan lately, and as such my output slowed down a bit so I really wasn’t in great shape to do 4 episodes in one day. So instead see what hyjinks, fart jokes and murders of beloved disney characters insue under the cut as the hosue of mouse gets a bit foolish

The Wraparound:

It’s April Fools day at the House of Mouse and Donald pulls a prank on MIckey by cutting his break lines.. wait no that was last year. No this year he just puts some wax on the stage and MIckey trips, Donald laughs. Now if this were the real world this would be really dangerous and probably destroy their friendship and MIckey’s spine. But this is a cartoon that runs on cartoon physics. He was in no real danger. So Mickey’s retaliation on the other hand.. is just showing embarassing footage of Donald. It makes him come off as unecessarily cruel as instead of an actual prank or joke it’s just “Hey look at this embarassing footage of my friend I dug up”

This plot DOES get a lot bettter though after the setup: Pete talks Donald into kidnapping Pumba, planning to use Pumbas farts to clear out the club...

Yeah i’m not big on fart jokes. I’m not against them, when used right they can be comedy gold.. this song from bobs burgers is one such example

It’s just a lot of times farts and other bodily functions are used as the joke alone. That’s it. There’s no actual laughs or content too said laughs, i’ts jsut this is gross.  Thankfully this episode does not go really deep down the grossdout rabit hole, as we don’t see the fart on screen.. but it still dosen’t make “Pumbas’ ass gas is going to destroy the house of mouse” funny. 

There are some funny gags though: Donald’s method of distracting Timon so Pete can kidnap Pumbaa is to just stand there not saying anything and weirding Timon out , their replacement is just a bowling ball, two horns and a sack of something, and when Timon goes looking for Pumbaa, finds Zazu under a plate the hyena’s have.. and then just leaves him there. Seriously Timon just.. let’s Zazu die and I am here for it. 

Donald meanwhile thinks Mickey is planning another prank after mickey apologizes and has a special thing planned but it’s really jsut a lifetime achivment award, so Donald tries to stop it, then reveals the truth when Pumba shows up.. and gets his award taken away. Even though he had every reason to think Mickey was going to pull something because honest as he is i’ts april fools day. Mickey just... obnoxious in this one and it speaks to a larger problem with the series I remember from when I was a kid that i’ve noticed once or twice now: The show tends to have Squidward Syndrome, i.e. it treats Donald who can be obnoxious as wrong.. even when he’s done nothing wrong THIS EPISODE, like spongebob did to squidward at times, or if he has done something wrong his punishment is dispororitante. Donald did a minor prank.. and MIckey publicly humiliated him and Donald TREID to stop his prank. And goes above and behond to stop it, taking the fart attack at ground zero. Speaking of which the fart attack scene from parks and rec, also a good fart joke. 

And MIckey.. learns nothing by playing the test footage again even though Donald was just ground zero at an attomic level ass.

Final Thoughts for the Wraparound: It’s not great. I”m noticing that trend with Season 1 in general, where they really just didn’t have a ton of idea of what to do with the wraparounds. The episodes still vary in quality, but outside of the pilot most of the season 1 episodes are pretty disapointing as an adult, very simplistic plots that often don’t use the club’s nature to their full advantage or the characters to the same. It would get better though, but it’s something to notice. onto the shorts. 

The Friend for Life: This is a pretty simple one. Sam and Max, are after the mad Thesipian, whose exactly what he sounds like. We even get a really neat visual gag as sam just.. uses his little buddy as a sword while the Thespian uses a candelabra. But while our Freelance Police catch the weirdo, and Max takes a ride in the saftey tramp they set up for the guy, he escapes when the two are distracted by Norm, THE FRIEND FOR LIFEEEEEEEE. An obessive fanboy played by Patrick Mackenna of the Red Green Show, esentially playing an older and stalkery version of Harold.. now I think about it this might be his dad. I mean we don’t know where he went or what hapepend to the guy. Maybe he just went to the states to obesss over a rabbit and Dog. I don’t know. 

Lorne wants to help our heroes while Max understandably wants to run him over and sam just runs past him the minute they can. But despite finding the thespians layer  Max: (Singsong) We’re here to arressttt youuu Sam: (Also singsong): Rememberrrrr.. crimesss against humanitty? But it turns out Lorne, THE FRIEEEND FOR LIFFFEEEE, kidnapped him and puts on a show for htem of fighting thier old eneimies and a roller coaster death trap. Our heroes escape and begrudignly thank lorne even if they find his stalker shrine a bit much. 

Final Thoughts for The Friend For LIfe: A really solid episode and the fact i’ve binged several sam and max episodes since then really speaks to how good this one was. Seriously really funny stuff and I didn’t even cover half the great jokes in this one. Check it out, it’s on youtube. 

Mickey’s April Fools: An odd one but a fun one. MIckey is taking his asshole pills and goes overboard with his pranks, faking proposing to Minnie and faking his death after Mortimer pranks him. But it works... I mean is it grossly out of character? Oh god yes. Would it have made more sense by swapping out Mickey, Minnie and Mortimer with Donald, Daisy and either the boys or pete? Entirely. Is this short still hilarous. Yup. While i’ts not the best they’ve done on the show, it’s still really entertaining. The two end up getting him back, MOrtimer by faking a will reading only to have it go really poorly for Mickey as his death was reported, donald refuses to help due to Mickey’s last words to mortimer being “I’ve never undestood him” and Goofy being.. goofy. And MIckey is left hanging from a pole by minnie because fuck him. An out of character one.. but the sheer oddity of mickey being this dickish in the house of mouse shorts makes it work.  Be A Man: As a debut album for Randy Savage this Album is audotirally fucktacular, and with some polish randy could’ve had a long and successful rap career. As it stands, it is a sad one off not ein his career. 

Critters: On an asteroid prison, a group of dangerous aliens known as Krites are set to be transported to another station. The Krites engineer an escape and hijack a ship, prompting the warden to hire two shape-changing bounty hunters to pursue them to Earth. Studying life on Earth via various satellite television transmissions, the first bounty hunter assumes the form of rock star Johnny Steele, while the second remains undecided, thus retaining his blank, featureless head. On a rural Kansas farm, the Brown family sits down to breakfast. Father Jay and mother Helen send teenage daughter April and younger son Brad off to school while waiting on mechanic Charlie McFadden. A former baseball pitcher, Charlie has become the town drunk and crackpot, with claims of alien abductions foretold by messages through his fillings.

Playing with overly potent self-made fireworks and Charlie's slingshot, Brad takes the blame when Charlie accidentally shoots April and is grounded as a result. On the roof that evening, Brad mistakes the Critters' crashing spaceship for a meteorite; Jay and Brad investigate and interrupt the creatures consuming a cow. The creatures thereafter kill and feed on a local police officer, and later besiege the farm and cut its electrical connection. While checking the circuit breaker, Jay is attacked by one of the Critters and, being severely wounded, just barely manages to escape

.In the barn, April is about to have sex with her boyfriend Steve when he is killed by the one of the Critters; the creature itself is slain when it devours one of Brad's lit firecrackers. The remaining Critters sabotage the Browns' and Steve's cars, forcing the Browns to hole up inside the main house. Meanwhile, the two bounty hunters search the town for the Critters, causing a panic at the church and bowling alley, with the second hunter assuming the form of various townspeople, including Charlie. Brad escapes the farm to get help and runs into the bounty hunters, and upon learning of their true nature and intentions, he leads them to the Critters' location.

The last surviving Critters kidnap April and return to their ship when the bounty hunters arrive, and attempt to flee. Charlie and Brad manage to rescue April, but Brad drops a large firecracker he intended to use to destroy the ship when the Critters discover their escape. Just as the Critters take off and destroy the farmhouse out of spite, Charlie throws a Molotov cocktail made from his whiskey bottle into the ship, causing a fire which detonates the cracker and kills the Critters. The bounty hunters leave in their ship after giving Brad a handheld device to contact them in case of future invasion, and also restore the house. Unbeknownst to them, Critter eggs can be seen in the barn inside a chicken's nest that seem to be ready to hatch.

Final Thoughts on Critters: Critters is a wonderful film, despite what Rapheal from the teenage mutant ninja turtles might think but fuck him he has scabies. It’s fun, energetic, and ahs a great premise of instead of it JUST being on our heroes to repel the invaders, their caught between two diffrent sets of aliens instead and instead of a chisled jawed heroes the good aliens are simply bounty hunters with no care about collateral and only doing a job. It’s a damn fine film and I still need to make time to watch the sequel. 

Donald’s River Thing:

This is a simple one. Donald plans to go fishing, finds out it’s his and Daisy’s anniversary, her half birthday and valentine’s day and has to take her along and make it like a thing while being a dick about wanting to still fish, but in a very funny way while the local fish fight back. This is easily the standout of the episode incredibly funny, increidbly wholesome, and an incredibly good time. Really great stuff. 

Invincible Episodes 1-3:

This seires is fucking fantastic and you should go watch it. GO WATCH IT. 

Final Thoughts overall: 

YOUR NOT WATCHING IT

Final Thoughts Overall: This is a decent episode not much to say except HIT IT BOYS

#april fools day #the house of mouse #mickey mouse #donald duck #pete pete #minnie mouse #mortimer mouse #daisy duck #sam and max #timon #pumbaa #timon and pumbaa #invincible #critters #cheese #fine cheese

[lieblxng]

im developing a lot of aus including the reverse au which is currently only available for rose, but leon also has it developed, i just forgot to put it in the verses page for him haha but wow im developing a reverse verse for a chara i dont have??? i might as well throw damos on the blog and be the only person in the pkmn rpc who plays him LMAO i cant help falling for obscure characters but i think he might have a better chance in getting interactions than my etrian odyssey muses but no if anyone wants to do damos,,,,you can hmu 😳😳 i cant reply it or see it if you do tho LMAOO

anyway reverse!damos here who goes by lazarus (meaning: my god has aided me) is not a nice farmer unlike his normal verse, instead being akin to a mercenary, but he kinda fills in the role of marcus - he has the ability to manipulate the hearts of pokemon, even legendaries and because of this, he’s been fiddling with legendaries and experimenting with things to try something out - and while reverse!arceus has been severely weakened from an intense fight or a meteorite too (im still figuring it out) and lost its life plates, lazarus finds it. it’s on the brink of dying, and instead of returning the plates like a nice person, lazarus only thinks of profit and benefitting himself - because it’s so vulnerable, it manipulates reverse!phae into summoning the lake guardians, where it promptly fights them and steals their gems before kicking them into the dirt. then he uses said gems to restraint and fully take control of reverse!phae before inserting the plates back into it, saying it will only get them back if it corporates. yes, lazarus literally pulls a cyrus being the first one to actually create a draft of the red chains to have arceus under its command. one of cyrus’ pc posts is “According to myths, the Pokémon created Sinnoh with its power. However, capturing the Pokémon with a Poké Ball prevents it from using its full power... But with the Red Chain, the Pokémon can be shackled, and its power can be used without restraint...” and he’s implying arceus with the first mention of pokemon, so maybe the red chains can be used on god??? i dont see why not, although the lake guardian was made more to check the creation trio than god itself, but why wouldn’t you have checks against god? “The Pokémon of the lakes and Mt. Coronet are somehow connected. Capturing the Pokémon of the lakes will free the Pokémon of Mt. Coronet. From the Pokémon of the lakes, crystals can be extracted to create a Red Chain.” i know he implies the creation trio with pkmn of mt. coronet but technically arceus lives in mt. coronet as the hall of origins can be summoned there LEMME HAVE THIS - 

originally i was going to have reverse!arceus be a completely neutral god, both in personality and how it handled things - just create life, casually, and just head out and do nothing for them - “the humans can handle their planet however they wish to. if they destroy it, they destroy it.” and i was trying to redesign it and it kept coming up as punk (more below because this is a long ass post)

so i was like, aight i guess i’ll go with what my heart wants but something still didnt feel right, because punk is an expression more than just a simple fashion statement - it was created to rebel against those who tried to hold you down and mold you into who they wanted you to be. to defy the shitty standards of what’s supposedly normal. and then it all clicked when i looked at this vid 

ive heard the music itself and one of my favs, but not the music video so i kinda just exploded with ideas and it really completed the punk i wanted to go with - funny thing, im a bad character designer so i scrapped the punk look and pulled a unique thing with phae’s case - legendaries and mythics are statements of unchanging, fixated ways while normal, evolvable pokemon are statements of improvement and change - growth, which is something phae is completely jealous of. gods don’t evolve; they don’t change. so i thought, why not keep its original look (i love it too much anyway and i cant think of anything better tbh for phae) to reflect that aspect but have the way it governs and behaves different? normal!phae and reverse!phae are still similar but opposite - normal being the kind, caring god and reverse being the relentless, uncaring god. both are the two most popular aspects and themes of gods and how they treat those beneath them, so i thought it worked.

reverse!phae never wanted to be a god. it’s immature and uncaring on purpose to get the attention of the creator of the original one itself; to be a sign of rebel, to show that it was its own character and no one can morph it into what they want it to be. it revels in its creations screaming in pain, as nothing else entertains it so and because it empathizes with them. it sends the world into pure chaos a majority of time so no one enjoys living. seeing its creations, both human and pokemon, excel in the trials and tribulations of this hell; seeing them perform so expertly under extreme stress, how humans and pokemon can come together and defeat anythin - and rebelling in their own right and way give reverse!phae so much hope and relief. that it’ll be able to do the same. and once reverse!phae does get its creators attention, you bet it’s gonna be very angry on why it exists. it might even try to murk its creator. it’s more of a “i didn’t ask to be born so i’m gonna make it your problem” type of person, and a god prone to violence - often fighting with its own creations, like even the lake trio and the creation trio. but it checks them all every time, and it’s so hungry for an actual fight that reverse!phae can actually work for and struggle for and feel like it actually won. and that’s when lazarus comes in. that’s where lazarus comes in.

how much it hates lazarus. how much it hates lazarus. it hates everyone, but lazarus has a special kind of hatred reserved just for him. in fact, hatred isn’t the proper word to explain the intense, raw, unfiltered feelings reverse!phae has for him. on one hand, it absolutely respects the honest work he puts in to further himself, but on the other hand, being the one on the receiving end of his malicious intentions is never ideal. it has no interest in whatever petty crimes he wants to commit, but trying to take god and become it yourself? completely admirable. a fantastic way to rebel, but having to have someone chain you down and control you? reverse!phae’s worst nightmare. i’ll get into that later since this is already long enough god help me

is reverse!phae messed up? yes, severely. that’s kinda what happens when you rot alone in the depths of dark space for eons. no human nor pokemon - no, no living being can ever handle that. both normal! and reverse!phae have the same backstory, but different reactions to it. reverse!phae wants everyone to scream and lash out, it wants everyone to rebel against their origins and become their own people, even with the immense baggage on their shoulders. it wants everyone to risk death to accomplish their dreams. it laughs in everyone's faces before spitting in them. i think reverse!phae will be one of my most violent takes on a muse, if not, my most since it is god and the shit it talks can easily be proven right. it constantly berates and breaks people down into pieces. no one understands it. it hates everyone and everything it sees. it doesn’t need love and kindness, it just needs a body to break. which is untrue, because obviously its yearning for love and kindness - something its never experienced - and it’s lashing out for attention. secretly hoping someone will just hug it and all its problems away. that everything will be okay in the grand scheme of things. that it won’t have to have the unlimited stress of being a god anymore.

usually when i put my touch on muses, canon or not, they’re primarily good people with hearts of gold. even with ones less so, they’re not as intense as this. so working with that kind of character is thrilling and i’m excited to see if i can get anyone interested with it lmao- reverse!phae’s name might be nou or chali, what would be better? sorry this was such a long post!! i’ve been working on this since last night and it’s been really fun to develop like this again - i only get this kind of productive with my hyperfixations, so they’re both a blessing and a curse -  i think this is everything i have rn for the reverse au but ii’ll be going back into it

#//trimming because this is a long ass post #//talking about the reverse verse oh hee hoo #//ive made developments #//see now after the fluff we get the angst its the circle of life on this blog #'Cause we kick it like it's summertime. | Mun Art #There's no need to be so VIP. | Headcanons #Arceus (self) | I have many names~ #big boy anxiety | OOC #Turning a cold shoulder. | Verses