#ana’s so fucking pretty fight me

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

#and there's something else in there about like .... #tbh once i got over something like 1k followers #i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON. #yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc #but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about #in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers #bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like #jesus christ lord almighty #every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me #each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!! #their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was #fucking cottagecore !!!! #like girlie this person needs THERAPY #again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc #bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this #and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!! #aND THEY ARE!!! #something something something they know this content makes them money #they don't give a SHIT about u babe

[lepusrufus]

Ok ok hear me out

Sure Sombra Knows Her Shit when it comes to messing with anything technology and pretty much nothing with an internet connection is out of her reach. Sure. Cool. But what if she's also stupidly knowledgeable in the most useless things the internet has to offer so she knows of every meme that existed since the dawn of memes and quotes them on a regular basis.

Nobody understands a word she says half the time bc this is however many years into the future and she's there quoting fucking ragecomics from the 2010's. Which is fine with her, she likes fucking with people's heads whether through blackmail or comically outdated humor.

But imagine a situation where Talon and Overwatch aren't at each other's throats and become allies and now she has even more people to torment with it. Maybe Angela tries and fails to make edible coffe and Sombra just mutters "none coffee with left borderline medical malpractice" only to hear one of the oldies start wheezing behind her. Probably Rein. Bonus points if Ana. These fuckers are Gen Z and Sombra just awakened ye old memes on an early Thursday morning while Angela is fighting the coffee machine.

Plot twist, Gabriel understood her all along he's just too prideful to crack a chuckle.

#can you tell it's a slow day and I'm bored #silly hcs as a treat #sombra overwatch #overwatch #@ that one ask that asked for more serious hcs I'm not ignoring it I'm just formulating them like the nerd lil gremlin i am

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, so, I don't know if I'm typing this out to make myself feel better because I can't believe THIS is the thing I'm gonna be right about in this fucking show BUT back in May last year, I added some tags on a post about how Buck is in Eddie's season 5 arc, so he would break up with Natalia pretty early on and Eddie and Marisol would go off to build stuff together (It's the only post I can find that proves I had the thought before all this because I don't know if I put that in a meta or not, I think I did on a post talking about how Buck and Eddie mirror each other narratively, but I cannot find it) but the thing is, season 6 for Buck mirrors season 4 for Eddie, which would put them in season 5 but from Buck's side. It was the main reason I kept saying I believed Natalia would have the same treatment as Ana, and go away early on in the season to open space for Eddie's journey of self-discovery, which is what happened, Natalia went away to open space for Buck's self-discovery journey. I was betting on a Buck breakdown, but bi Buck works. Why did I had that thought the second Eddie called Marisol in the s6 finale? Well, Buck and Eddie are literally running parallel to each other but slightly misaligned. You have tiny things like the way the first loss on the job for both of them is someone falling to their death, but Devon didn't want to live and the gross dude did. Or the shaky relationship with their parents that runs opposite because Eddie had too much responsibility placed on him while Buck was literally treated like he was invisible. Or more aggressive things like the way the well mirrors the lightning (set on that if you need help visualizing), with the way both of them volunteer into the rescue, the well is in the middle of nowhere, Buck gets struck in the middle of the street, Buck is in the sky, Eddie is underground, the rain aspect, the 118 as audience, they are even on mirrored sides of the frame, and I think even the way Buck needs to choose to get out of the coma mirrors the way Eddie saves himself. There's also the breathing things since Eddie almost drowns and Buck's lungs stop working. The well mirroring the lighting put Buck in season 4 for 6b, the "'I'm fine' *narrator voice* he wasn't fine" era, which would put Buck in season 5 now, the "I'm dealing with what makes me who I am" era, which he is, go Buck.

Well, this works with love interests on a ridiculous level. We have the ABSOLUTE MADNESS of the way Shannon comes back, next episode Ali shows up, Shannon dies, next episode Ali is gone, Eddie meets Ana, Buck keeps complaining about the struggles of being single (while Maddie totally sets him up with Josh, because now that Buck is canonically bi, the fact that they are in blue and green is too on the nose for me to ignore), nothing comes of Eddie and Ana, they both stay single, Eddie asks Ana out, next episode Buck is dating and Taylor comes Back, Buck starts dating Natalia, Eddie starts dating Marisol. The only ones who are not aligned are the breakups with Ana and Taylor, because Buck chooses to hang on for too long. We also the way they have the first love who left them and never really gave them the closure they needed, we have the inconsequential girlfriend they only got because people kept telling them they had to move on. Shannon works for Eddie the same way Abby works for Buck. Ana works for Eddie the same way Ali and I guess Natalia do for Buck. That means Eddie needs a Taylor. Someone he meets on a call who comes back later on. Check. Someone he's supposed to work with in theory but never had a real fighting chance. (I say that because if Taylor were as intense about Buck as she is about the job, they could've been a very interesting installment of golden retriever boyfriend/black cat girlfriend, but they never try). Something about their personal journeys is that Buck tends to take longer to learn, while Eddie tends to need a stronger hit. Buck's takes more time and Eddie's tends to be more intense in a sense. Like the way Shannon dies and Abby just leaves, but they actually kinda paint Buck as hung up on Abby all through seasons 2 and 3. Or the way Taylor goes away for a whole season, just to come back and stay for 3 half seasons. So the Marisol of it all. Taylor had more dept in the helicopter than Marisol has right now, but sure, let's say the point here is to make Eddie do something stupid in the name of not being alone. Because that's what Taylor is. The whole time, Taylor is about Buck being scared of being alone, even hooking up with her the first time is about how he didn't have Abby to hang on to anymore. Taylor and Buck are also fundamentally incompatible.

Again, I know nothing about Marisol. They gave her no dept beyond being a glorified babysitter. Nothing in her relationship with Eddie so far has been about Eddie and her. Even their dates seem to be something that will be about watching other people. I don't wanna say buddie canon, because Lucy is her own category (I miss her) but, Eddie looking at Buck and Tommy and making the very harsh decision of asking her to move in "I'm gonna die alone" moment, I don't wanna say makes sense, but could work, even more considering that the Buck/Tommy/Eddie/Marisol date seems to be mirroring the colors of the Buckley-Diaz family + Taylor dinner in outside looking in, and the next episode is a madney episode. It's the same progression of events. I doubt Eddie is gonna cheat and panic ask Marisol to move in, but they are not so on the nose with the actual storyline parallels. I don't have the brainpower to come up with any theories about what he might do, but considering how rocky his relationship with Buck could be, considering the last episode, I can absolutely see Buck triggering that (that would make me accept I am right and Eddie is aware of his feelings and I won't give that up even if the show explicitly says he wasn't) because Eddie's abandonment issues make him overcorrect. And that's never a good thing. Do I think Marisol is going past the season finale? No. Eddie's understanding arcs are usually shorter than Buck's. How would she leave? No clue. The fact that Taylor hurt Buck's family, in a literal sense with Chim, and the focus on her relationship with Chris as someone taking care of him, also the ominous shots of Chris and the whole theory that Chris would get hurt last season makes me scared tho. It could be something that's not her fault that she doesn't reach Eddie instantly, like, Chris cuts himself or something and she doesn't call, that can even work to push Buck and Eddie closer, and put buddie explicitly in a parental role together. My brain keeps saying appendicitis for some reason, but no idea why, maybe I just don't want to believe the show would make someone purposefully endanger Chris. Eddie kind of snapping in a hospital makes sense? Let's say Chris gets sick while at school and someone calls the house trying to reach Eddie because he's not answering and he chews her off. But that's just like, the only thing I can come up with with the correct energy.

So, yeah, Marisol is Taylor. I'm too tired to keep typing, but I can't believe the one theory I don't fully type out is the one the universe is gonna give me oaksoaksoaksoaksokasa

If you read this I love you. I don't know how this made you feel, but I hope it makes sense.

#im going to bed now #bye #911 #911 speculation #911 spoilers #911 meta #??? #i dont know #i know nothing

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Cheating

The next morning I went shopping with Sandra. S. will soon actually move. We went to that damn IKEA. Every time I enter an IKEA, I buy TRASH, that I don't need!! Anyway! Sandra and I were busy unpacking all those bits & bobs we bought. My Mom also came into my room, to ask where Nico was? She noticed that he left in the middle of the night and she probably heard us arguing.

N.'s Mom called him last night. She wanted Nico to pick up his fiancée. Yesterday before Nico came to me, he droped Stephanie at his Mother's house. Someone had to take care of his crazy ex- fiancee... Stephanie started that pity shit again and she also told N.'s Mom about me. She meant Nico was cheating on her. And of course his Mom didn’t feel like taking care of his fiancee, while he was shaking up with someone. (me) So yea, she's pretty mad! And I was mad at him because he didn’t come back to me, but stayed there. I told him, if he didn’t finally send Stephanie to hell, I’d date someone else, too! But N. didn’t take me seriously. He was just making silly jokes. That's why.... I called Dennis!! He accompanied Sandra & me today and we had a really nice day with him.🤷‍♀️

Mom: There you are!... Where's Nico? Why isn’t he with you? I thought you two never wanted to be apart again. 🤨

Me: His Mom called him. He had to leave.

Mom: I heard you two fighting! Did he change his mind about your Baby?

Me: N-no!... Agh, pls get off me.

Mom: Sandra! Who is that guy who accompanied you two?

Sandra: Um-....

Me: How-...How do you know??

Mom: I saw him outside with you two. You know, my "spy-window". That one in the kitchen! I could observe absolutely everything! So don’t you dare lie to me and tell me he’s Sandra's bf or something. That boy's clearly after you, A.! 😠

Me: Really? 👉👈 You think he likes me? ... No, JK!! 😉 He and I met at Ana’s College. Dorm!! He lives there too and... yea that's all. We're friends.

Mom: Since you mentioned this, what’s wrong with you and Ana? She told me it was a mistake to take you to her college . It's bcs of that boy??

Me: NO! It was Adam's fault! He made trouble for Ana and me. But Ana and I made up.... Idk why she's avoiding me?? I guess it has something to do with her new bestie Claudia. 💁‍♀️😒

Mom: Why don’t you ask her?

Me: I was busy with my own shit!!! But well, I'm gonna talk to her.

Mom: And now tell me what’s wrong with N. Did-....did he ask you to see other men? That's a familiar road for you two, isn't it?

Me: You nuts? I can't believe you actually think that!! 😲😠

Mom: I don’t know what to think or believe? You are pregnant A.! Second, you’re married to Daniel. And I just saw you outside with another guy. And it’s no secret that Nico does strange things to you.

Me: What kind of strange things? This thing with Philip and him last year was a fucking mistake! An experiment that went totally wrong for ALL of us! Especially for N.! However, it won’t happen again!

Mom: Your Dad knows! I told him last night. He wants to talk to Nico, so..... where is he?

Me: You already told him?? 😲 But-... ugh, idk if Nico will come by today? That stupid Stephanie!.............. Who knows if he’ll ever come back to me.😫

I told my Mom the truth that Nico had a fiancée. He broke up with her, but Stephanie just won’t let go of him. My Mom was so mad at me for getting involved in something like this. She accused me of being........... a bitch. She didn’t say "bitch"!! !My mother doesn’t use such.... bad words. 😇 (😒) I just can’t think of the right word in English rn, but it means the same.

Mom: How many times have I told you and your sister, never, to fall in love with a man who is taken or married! It's a really low blow, A.!

Me: You’re just saying that because of you and Dad! But-....I love him, I loved him before! So, he belongs to me! Not to her!

Mom: Then why did you marry Daniel? If... you’ve always loved Nico? You knew he had a fiancée. You deliberately decided to ruin their relationship! Just because your marriage didn’t work. The right thing would have been to ignore Nico’s messages. You never know what or WHO you want?... It’s like a curse on you. 🤦‍♀️

Me: You’re on her side, not mine! I hate you! And I didn’t ruin anything! He wanted to break up with her anyway!!

Mom: Sure, that’s why he’s with her now, not here with you. 🤷‍♀️

Shit, I think she was right. I have to stop this. I have to stop Stephanie! I'm going to have his Baby! Sandra said the same to me. I have to make it clear to N., that he’s gonna lose me, if he doesn’t do the right thing!!!! But Nico thought now that I’m pregnant, he’d be safe. I mean, I’m not sure he really thought that, but that’s how it felt to me.

Previous/ Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #rl story

[sakurayumekun]

PRO-ANA GUIDE HANDBOOK 

An anorexic mind

First of all, let's work on the psychology first. Be sure to fuck up your relationship with food from the start. You want to make yourself as neurotic as possible about food, eating, kitchens, cutlery, refrigerators, restaurants, and hey, why not stretch this out even further and start hating the actual source of foods, in other words the actual animals and plants. I myself am utterly opposed to factories. Any kind of factory. Even pillow factories, hell they're all the same. But you! Spread those bad thoughts! Hate that chicken!!! Unless of course, you're going for the sympathetic, oh the poor animals, vegan slant. That's a good one too. Firstly, reaffirm your mission. Immortalise it. Buy a fat, blank notebook, this will become your own personal anorexic sanctuary of sorts. Write down WHY you want to lose weight. Be sure to include things like how you will feel when you're 10lbs lighter, the glorious clothes you will fit into, an occasion that you would like to be thinner for like your sixteenth birthday, etc. Give yourself a final goal, and break it up into several, smaller, goalpoints. For example, if you weigh 140lbs and would like to eventually be 90lbs, list points along the way which signify a victory for you. For example, 130lbs, and then 115lbs, then 110lbs, then 100lbs, and so on. Re-read this again and again for inspiration. You will be using this notebook later to create tackytown anorexia-inspired collages and other paraphernalia.

Visualisation. Following the same strain as NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, we must use the principles of association to retrain your consciousness, and sub-consciousness, to turn food into one of the greater evils of the world. (Read: the greatest evil!!) Start by associating food with disgusting things. For your first ever fast, it may be helpful to draw pictures of juicy red apples, somehow morphing into giant dead rotting pigs. Plaster these all around your house, preferably on the food itself. Never underestimate the power of images. Put pictures of fat girls on your fridge, or better yet, pictures of yourself; you're pretty fat. Conversely, stick pictures of rakish models everywhere you can see them, for inspiration, and a bit of productive self-loathing. Also, practise writing things like "I'm fat" over and over. You want to drill this into your brain. "I will be thin" is a good one, as well as other "I will" affirmations. These are positive statements and very conducive to big time weight loss. Now create a list of suitable punishments either for thinking of food, or for caving in and eating food itself. A good one to try is to keep a rubber band on your hand and flick your skin whenever you think of eating. Eventually you will have a swollen hand, and a shrunken body; you will have ceased thinking of food so much. Other punishments include ridiculous amounts of exercise, purging, self-mutilation, isolation, basic denial of necessary comforts such as blankets on a cold night, or shelter when it is raining... Or simply menial, disgusting tasks such as cleaning the bathroom. Remember, you need discipline. Invent pain and hassles for yourself. Trick yourself into believing your life sucks. Be mean to people so that they instigate fights, just to make you constantly on edge, or nervous, so you cant eat. After all, you'll be light-headed and dizzy, and irritable from not eating, so you have an excuse. I used to love when dad got mad at me because it meant I was so upset I could not eat. Become an angst ridden teenager. You'll be making yourself nauseous from worry and self hatred in no time. Find another anorexic to consort with. Whether this be in real life, or on the internet. You can swap tips and indulge in your little sordid anorexia world together, force each other to exercise, pat each other on the back when you reach goals, etc. You want to completely surround yourself with all thoughts of anorexia. Find pro-anorexia websites, or create your own. Sign up for one of the dozens of pro-anorexic mailing lists at Yahoo! and you'll be bombarded daily with like minded individuals. Now, immerse yourself further in anorexia propaganda, read anorexia or otherwise 'thin' inspired literature, listen to anorexic music, watch as many triggering films as you can get your delicate little mitts on, look up to very thin hollywood stars and supermodels. Also, visit as many of the aforementioned pro-anorexia sites as you can to get a bunch of quotes and mantras to write in your anorexia notebook, and repeat inside your head daily. I have compiled a list of such sources of thinspiration.

Thinspiration

Triggering music

This is essential. You must familiarise yourself with the very teenage and angstyartists and be sure to play the music over and over to thoroughly depress yourself. Ones to keep in mind are:

Fiona Apple - "Paper Bag" ... Hunger hurts but starving works...

Silverchair - "Ana's Song (Open Fire)" ... And I need you now somehow, and I need you now somehow ... On my knees for you... In my head the flesh seems thicker...

 Juliana Hatfield - "Feed Me"... Oh baby if only you knew, I'm down to 102...

Tori Amos - "Jackie's Strength" ... You're only popular with anorexia, so I turn myself inside out, in hopes someone will see...

Anorexic mantras

 You must collect as many of these as possible. Write them in your anorexia notebook, memorise them, let them comfort you. Some examples are:

"An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person." 

 "You will be tempted quite frequently, and you will have to choose whether you will enjoy yourself hugely in the 20 minutes or so that you will be consuming the excess calories, or whether you will dislike youself cordially for 2 or 3 days for your lack of willpower." 

 "I'm not starving myself...I'm perfecting my emptiness." 

 "I can get thinner. I can cut it all off. I can wear low slung Levi's and crop tops and long straight dresses like willowy models, and I gasp with the breathlessness of being airborne. I can fly and be free. Jesus! I never realised how easy it was!" 

 "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." 

 "The greasy fry, it cannot lie, its truth is written on your thigh," 

 Devour literature, not food

Words and text are very very triggering when it comes to not eating. For one thing, it gives you a world to inhabit, your very own private, magnificent anorexia world which nobody else around you can touch, and you shall have characters to understand you. You will be so riveted that you will not need to eat. Books to check out include:

The best little girl in the world by Steven Levenkron

Wasted by Marya Hornbacher

The fountainhead by Ayn Rand - not about anorexia per se, but Dominique

Francon is the fucking epitome of ethereal, insubstantial, bony grace.

 I am an artichoke by Lucy Frank

Starving for attention by Cherry Boone O'Neill

 Hunger scream by Ivy Ruckman

 Diary of an eating disorder by Chelsea Smith and Beverly Runyon

My sister's Bones by Cathi Hanauer

Stick figure by Lori Gottlieb

Eve's apple by Jonathan Rosen

Thinspiring films and TV shows

These might be about anorexia itself, or it might simply be glamorous and include very thin beautiful people. Movies and television programmes I know others find thinspiring are:

Girl, Interrupted

For The Love Of Nancy

 Ally McBeal

Role models

 You need somebody to idolise. You must research him or her to the bones and become as close to her as possible. Become obsessed. Some suitable examples include those in the following list, who are either very skinny, or have, or have had anorexia:

Kate Moss - 90's waif

 Angelina Jolie - skinny sexy actress, e.g. Girl, Interrupted and Gia

Christina Ricci - actress, had anorexia

Calista Flockhart - Ally McBeal

Lara Flynn Boyle - glamorous and snobby, never eats

Tracey Gold - actress who suffered from anorexia

Karen Carpenter - musician and classic anorexic

Portia de Rossi - actress on Ally McBeal who went through a stage of dangerous dieting

Geri Halliwell - formerly Ginger Spice, engaged in a 'thin war' with:

 Victoria Beckham - formerly Posh Spice

Courtney Cox - actress on Friends, bony and gaunt

Twiggy - iconoclastic model

Mary Kate - had anorexia... perfection

Jodie Kidd - impossibly thin model

Nicole Richie - Thin thin thin

 Audrey Hepburn - quintessential class, very petite

This should be enough to sufficiently fuck up and cloud your perceptions. Above all, convince yourself you are above others, a hero, owing to your spectacular powers of restraint. Feel elitist. Feel as though you are somehow super-human for resisting the urge to eat. Feel better than the other mere mortals who dig in to their cereal and their donuts. Believe in the power of starving as though it were a religion.

Extreme dieting

Now we can move on to the actual act of excessive dieting itself. First off we should establish clear limits. Make up rules you cannot deviate from. Only eat yellow foods on Monday, and brown foods on Tuesday. Or only eat every other day. Or only eat at night. Or only eat on days with the letter "u" in them. Or become a vegan. Or a fruitarian. Or follow your own version of a well known diet, such as the ever popular low carb diets, e.g., the Zone Diet, Atkin's Diet. Use your imagination. I knew a model who swore her secret was living on sushi, candy, oranges, cigarettes, and water. Another tip to try is to only allow yourself one food a day. You will get sick of the taste and therefore eat less due to boredom.

 Now, compile a list of safe foods. Here is a fairly comprehensive list:

Low Cal Jelly (or Jello, for you Americans)

Celery - it is composed highly of water, it is crunchy, which is said to cause you to eat less, owing to the amount you have to chew it, it is considered acatabolic food

Carrots are also another safe vegetable (although most vegetables can be on your safe list, these are merely the safest of the safe)

Salsa and mustard - dieting staples. You can dip vegetables in them, they are fat free and low cal, and salsa brings cravings to an abrupt halt.

Spicy foodsare also thought to fire up your metabolism

 Vinegar - thought to thoroughly reduce your appetite. It is suggested you drink a tablespoon or two before each meal.

Lemons dipped in a sugar substitute such as Splenda or Nutrasweet. (note: In some anorexia circles, even fruit is no good, besides oranges, which are a 50cal food)

Broth (only 5 calories per cube!!)

Egg white - much needed protein

Pickles

Lettuce - an absolute 'nothing' food

Cucumbers - very very low cal

Soup

Safe foods are merely foods that are safe to eat if you are craving foods outside your set meals. They are extremely low cal, or no cal. As for your actual daily intake of food, most wannabe anorexics tend to stick within the 500 - 1000 calorie range depending on how much exercise they do. Never be shy when it comes to considering taking certain drugs to reduce or diminish appetite. Some antidepressant medication such as Wellbutrin have this effect, as well as Topamax, which is originally an anti-convulsive but has been and can be prescribed for things such as ADD and bipolar disorder. Steal your little brother's ADD medication. Dexedrine is gold when it comes to killing appetite. Just ignore the paranoia and nervousness that comes with it. Think about diet pills and supplements such as Metabolife and Ephedra.

Day to day

Now we move on to the ever important area of ritual and habits, tips & tricks, to get down to a science.

Graze constantly throughout the day so that your metabolism never gets the chance to rest and become sluggish. Eating 100 calories five times a day is better than eating one meal consisting of 500 calories.

Fool your metabolism by constantly changing the number of calories you consume daily. This will prevent your body going into starvation mode, meaning that lesser amounts of calories will make you gain weight. For instance, eat 500 calories on Monday, 100 on Tuesday, 800 on Wednesday, no calories on Thursday, and 400 calories on Friday.

Get a full night's sleep, at least eight hours. Although staying up late does make you burn more calories, don't become sleep-deprived or your metabolism will become sleepy. Your appetite will even increase by 15%.

Record everything you eat in your anorexia notebook. This serves to motivate you, as well as to be aware of all the extra calories you may not be aware you are consuming. It may also let you identify emotional or environmental triggers, such as boredom or sadness.

Take vitamin pills frequently so your body doesn't crave nutrients, causing binges.

Diet coke and other diet sodas cause that bubbly, full feeling in your stomach, for about 1 calorie per glass.

Brush your teeth and tongue all the time. The feeling in your mouth will ease cravings and additionally, food will taste yukky with toothpaste, so whats the point of eating it?

Drink water like a fish. Drink a glass of water, or a diet soda, every hour on the hour. Drink water every time you have the urge to snack. Ice water is better because your body will burn more calories to heat it up. Drink water with meals to prevent overeating. Bear in mind that often we mistake thirst for hunger.

Caffeine will speed up your metabolism. Have two or three servings a day, in the form of black sugarless coffee, or caffeine pills, or guarana. If stacked with ephedra and aspirin, a synergistic effect will occur that imitates the effects of speed or other amphetamines. Do be aware that this practice can be rather dangerous.

Exercise. Not only will you burn off the calories you consume when you do eat, but it will increase your metabolism for some time afterwards. As well, the consequential muscle mass will increase the calories you burn at rest. It also suppresses appetite. Try running, or buy yourself a skipping rope.

Stand up and move about constantly. Compulsively fidget. It does add up to an estimated extra 500 calories burned a day. Twitch your leg while studying, for example. Also, sit up straight - you'll burn more calories.

Have a very busy and active schedule. It will burn more calories than sitting in your room thinking about not eating, and make sure you don't have enough time to binge.

Find a something other than food to satisfy your oral fixation. Choices include things like smoking, chewing gum, water, iced tea, sugarless mints, and diet coke.

Put a small coin in a jar every time you resist a craving, or exercise when majorly exhausted, etc. This will motivate you, build up confidence in your starving abilities, and keep track of your successes. As well as give you extra cash to splurge on some fantastical treat when you reach your first major weight loss goal.

The type of music you listen to while you eat affects how much and how quickly you consume. The faster the music, the more you eat. Try to listen to nice slow music when you eat.

Eat sweets and the foods you crave early on in the day. This will give you more time to burn them off and it will eliminate cravings later.

Eat while in the front of the mirror naked. You will be completely repulsed, and repelled from the food. This is a good thing.

Feel your hunger..don't try to suppress it. If you're hungry that means you're losing weight; you WANT to be hungry. If you're not then you're not doing it right. In time you will get a wonderful high off of being hungry and thoroughly enjoy the sensation. Hunger is not your enemy! The sooner this is understood, the sooner you will reach your goals.

Did you know that there are 2 pounds of dead skin on you right now!!?! Thats right! 2 POUNDS! ...if you're underweight or in starvation mode your body does not "shed" its skin the way it should. It holds on to it. Use an exfoliator for your face, and a loofah brush or scrub for your body. Make a stack of magazines that weighs the amount you want to lose. As you lose, take off the appropriate amount of magazines. Seeing the weight like that may help you realise what a difference it will make when it is all off. When you're feeling weak Here are some things which will help when your willpower is very feeble, to ward off the urge to eat, or worse, binge!

Pinch your thigh and see how you don't need food, because you should be eating your own flesh all away from the inside first, before you are deserving of actual legitimate sustenance.

Go to the library. You can research dieting or whatever, or you can read the classics, or some of the aforementioned listerature. Or you can do homework, or write letters, but the beauty of it is, since no food or drink is allowed, you'll have no choice but to abstain from a meal.

Buy some baby teething gel and rub it on your tongue, to numb your tastebuds.

If you're even considering eating, just hold your breath and count to 100. Chances are that you'll convince youself not to eat whatever it is you're craving in that time.

The scent of coffee has been proven to lessen ones appetite.

Chew the food but don't swallow it. Spit it in the bin.

If you're feeling dangerous, plan out the next few hours so that you're occupied for every single minute. Write a list of things to do for every 15 minutes. eg. exercise, surf the internet, email your friends, clean a room, read a book.

If you're feeling brave enough to face the kitchen, go there and throw out any potential binge foods. If you must, pour bleach/disinfectant/dishwashing detergent on the food, and then throw it away! (Anorexics are known for retrieving food from bins, or stealing food from strange places).

Pinch your ear! Apply pressure to the front of the ear, one at a time. The front of the ear is apparently a pressure point, in the area that controls hunger.

Let perfume replace chocolate. Every time you have a craving, or pass a bakery, sniff some Chanel no. 5. Apply it to a tissue and carry it with you.

Smell has a powerful effect on appetite.

Clean something. Cleaning something dirty can make you lose your appetite. The toilet, the litter box, under the kitchen sink, scrubbing out the garbage bin, anything grimy or smelly. The mess, along with the smell of the cleaner, can put you off food for a while.

Become a teenage artist. Write anorexic poetry, tragic little verses about bones and stomachs and evil evil capsicums. Anorexics are ever so creative.

Collect pictures of skinny girls. Stick them all in your notebook. Draw pictures of painful bony girls with tear stained faces and their head in their hands (their spines sticking out). This will take up most of your time.

Hiding it

 Anorexia is supposed to be a private and tortured place, dontcha know. Deny it at all costs. Pretend you have not noticed the pounds dropping off you. Don't be suspicious. Here are some relevant tips:

Spend time making yourself look healthy.

Drink lots of water and apply a fake tan.

Wear makeup so that you have some colour, and keep your hair looking nice and shiny, take vitamins.

Smile. 

Whenever you do decide to eat, do it in the company of others.

That way they can't say they never see you touch food.

On your way out, heat up a slice of pizza or prepare a snack to 'eat on the run'.

Of course, you will dispose of the food at your first convenience.

Leave a dirty plate lying around every so often for your parents to yell at you about.

Drink out of opaque cups, and spit your food into it whilst preteding to drink. They'll never know.

Eat really slowly because if everybody else is on their third slice of pizza, they'll assume you are too, even if you're still finishing your first.

Sign out of Hotmail and clear the history before you get off of the Internet. This will eliminate autofill being ever so helpful while your mum is researching aardvarks, and coming up with www.anorexicsanonymous.com for her. In short, don't leave traces lying around for others to find.

I trust that this guide to becoming a better anorexic will serve you well on your quest to being emaciated and ahem, gorgeous.

Remember, think thin, and try not to faint too often or die.

#an@rexi@

[ikarisenpai]

Ghost Pains (Junkrat x f!reader)

Hey! How's it going? Me, I'm doing pretty alright! Decided to write a little bit and ended up with this beauty right here! I know this is my first Overwatch x Reader but I just wanted to give it a go and if you all like it, maybe write some more? I don't know... I'm pretty rusty so apology ahead of time if this is bad XD Its nearly 11am in the morning and I have yet to go to sleep, but here we are! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! I am taking requests so fill free to send me all your guys ideas, if not enjoy and have a wonderful night/day! Peace! ~IkariSenpai

____________ Summary: Junkrat is having ghost pains and doesn't want to take his medication... Warnings: slight mention of sexual tension but its not fully in detail. Words: 1420 ____________

The ghost pains were back. 

Junkrat had been laying in bed for what felt like hours and honestly he wished it was hours than minutes. His arm and leg were withering in pain as he forgot to take his meds and place his ointment on before he took his afternoon nap. The poor Australian man crying as Roadhog asked if he should go get y/n and see if they could help with the pain. They, y/n, were technically the ones watching over Junkrat when he had moments like these, but of course Jamison said no and began crying even more in pain. It was like he wanted to feel the pain and not have to tell y/n all about how much he had fucked up and that he was sorry for not listening to her before he had laid down. His body was covered in sweat as he just wanted it all to pass so he could go on with his day.

“It will pass… it always has… I don’t need her here… promise.” Junkrat said as he was more talking to himself then he was to Roadhog who was sitting down next to him holding out what looked like a white cream container and a pill bottle.

“Will you do it yourself then?” Roadhog asked shaking the bottle and pushing the ointment towards him.

Junkrat shook his head, “I don’t need that icky stuff. Y/n only did it because she said it would make the pain go away. I don’t need it. I can handle it.” He said as he was trying to be the bigger man and not worry about the pain coursing through his arm and leg. He was an inventor and had dealt with many things that were worse than this. Hell, he even had bombs for crying out loud blow up in his face! He didn’t need no stinking ointment and pills to make this all go away! He was Jamison Fawkes. He didn’t need it at all!

“Come on Jamie… you know you need it.. Stop fighting with me.” Roadhog said as he was about to call y/n and see if she could deal with him. She always knew how to set the man straight. 

“I don’t need it! Now let’s go blow some stuff up!” Junkrat said as he tried his best to get out of bed. The young man swung his leg over the edge of the bed and made what he thought was a smart move, but ended up whimpering as he nearly fell out of bed because he moved too fast.

“Now you’ve done it.” Roadhog said as he sighed looking down at the man who was ass up on the floor. He picked him up delicately and placed him back on the bed. He handed Junkrat the pill and ointment hoping now that he knew he couldn’t go anywhere until he took it.

“I. Told. You. I. Don’t. Need. It.” Junkrat said through gritted teeth. He hated taking medication and hated that he had too because of his arm and leg, but with how much pain he was in he may have to cave and that honestly hurted Junkrat’s pride.

“Hey! I’m not staying long as I am going out with Tracer. I hope you two stay out of trouble!” y/n said as she poked her head into Junkrat’s room to tell the two she was just grabbing something and then leaving. Her body freezing in the doorway as she arched a brow, “Is everything alright in here?”

“No!”

“Yes!”

Both of the boys were giving mixed signals as y/n walked in and sat down on the bed looking over at her boyfriend, who was still in pain.

“Jamie, what’s wrong? Are you alright? Are you taking your medication like Ana said?” y/n asked as she looked at both his leg and arm and saw that it was red and burning. Almost as if she, herself, could feel his pain.

“Yes! I just took it before my nap and I feel all better.” Junkrat said as he looked over at Roadhog who was shaking his head.

“You aren’t lying to me, are you?” y/n asked as she arched a brow. She slowly pressed down on his leg as if to test the waters and as soon as she touched it Jamison cried in pain.

“Alright! Alright! I’m throwing a fit cause I don’t want to take it! It tastes funny and makes me feel sleepy when taking the pill! Please don’t make me take the pill!” Junkrat whined as Roadhog sighed, shaking his head more. 

“But Jamie, it helps you feel better. No more ghost pains.. Why can’t you just take it and be a good lad for me?” y/n said as she pouted her outer lip trying to get Junkrat to budge.

“Because I’m not a ‘good lad’. I’m bad, bad to the bone and there ain’t nothing you can do to stop me.” Junkrat said as y/n touched his shoulder making him whine once more, “FINE! You win! Just… stop touching me! It hurts!” 

Y/n smiled, “Thank you baby. Here let me help you.” and you started rubbing the ointment on his arm/shoulder hoping to help cool down the burning feeling he was having and to hopefully stop the pain.

“W-will you get my leg too?” Junkrat asked as he was a bit shy with this one. His cheeks glowed a bright pink as y/n looked up and smiled.

“Sure, just let me know when everything starts feeling better. I do want to hang out with Tracer, but I would much rather make sure my loving boyfriend is all goods before I head out.” y/n smiles brightly as Junkrat was one lucky dude for getting y/n to be his girlfriend.

“Thanks.” Junkrat replied as he laid on his back staring up at the ceiling. He felt y/n put the ointment on his leg and winced as it did sting a little, but it also brought pleasure as her hand slowly moved up his thigh and back down making sure that most of his leg was covered. His lower lip was trapped under his teeth as he was trying to ignore the hand that was touching him, but his other head decided to take matters in his own hands and popped up making Roadhog blush and leave while y/n chuckled and smiled.

“Seems to me your mind is in the gutter…” y/n remarked as she finished with the ointment and smiled at him trying to avoid his semi member cock in shorts. 

“S-sorry… your touch just felt nice and I guess I got carried away. Sorry.” Junkrat blushed as he silently cursed to himself, “You all done?” 

Y/n nodded her head, “Yeah, I’m all done.” She replied as she blushed now looking away.

“Sweet as, thanks a million, y/n.” Junkrat said as he stayed put in bed hoping y/n would leave. They hadn’t gone far into their relationship, but they were close enough that these moments happened all the time, y/n was just not ready yet and Junkrat respected her for that.

“Alright, well, I’ll be home around midnight. Don’t stay up for me, okay? You need your rest.” y/n said as Junkrat nodded his head. 

“Don’t have too much fun.” Junkrat retorted, smiling from ear to ear. He watched his girlfriend get up and head towards the door making her slow walk a tease. Her hips swaying as Junkrat called out to her making her pause and turn, “I-I love you…” the words echoed in the room as y/n stood there. Her heart raced in her chest as she couldn’t believe that he had said the 3 words she had been desperate to say since they started dating. 

“I-” y/n began as Junkrat blushed even more.

“If it's too soon! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to move too fast! I-” y/n walked back to him and leaned down kissing him. Her hand tangled in his blonde singed hair as they battled for dominance. Teeth clashing as one bit the other’s lip making the other moan. They went on what felt like forever, but alas, y/n pulled away as she smiled brightly at the man no longer in pain. 

“I love you too, Jamison, I love you too.” and headed out the door to go meet up with Tracer.

#overwatch #roadhog #junkrat #junkrat x reader #junkrat x f!reader #overwatch x reader #ghost pain #female reader #x reader #jamison fawkes x reader #jamison fawkes #junkrat/reader #fanfic #fanfiction #jamison fawkes x you #junkrat x you #junkrat overwatch #roadhog overwatch

[x-x-bones-x-x]

Already lost 1.6 pounds in the past 3 days and with this breakup im sure im gonna be losing more. Nothing gives you the will not to eat like a breakup or fights or trauma inducing shit hahaha what a good positive upside to this situation!!!!!

God eating disorders are so fun!!

Metal illness is just so fucking fantastic!!!!!

Bpd? BD1? Ana b/p subtype? Anxiety depression double combo?

Yes so fun, please life just keep throwing more bullshit onto my life and keep pushing and pushing me further to the edge

I'm not sure if im going to end up needing to baker act myself again, I really don't want to/ and cant afford to money wise and school wise. I don't want y'all to worry im pretty good at getting myself to a hospital if I need to and staying in one place (aka my bed, floor, bathroom floor) until I can leave to go get help if it's bad enough. Even being hospitalized though is great for weight loss at least for me cause I can barely eat the repulsive food and then purge what I do eat and id be way to scared to ask for extra food or a snack or anything it's kinda great low key. Binge proof! *not promoting please don't do that y'all are beautiful people and deserve so much better than that*

Okay okay okay god rant over my brain will not stop or fucking shut up for 2 seconds blehhhhhh

I love you guys!!!! There are 100 of y'all following me now which is wild, please take care of yourselves to the best of your ability. You deserve complete health regarding physical, mental, and overall wellbeing. And take your meds!!! That's about the only thing keeping me hanging on right now, they're important!!! We all deserve to be healthy. I really truly hope the best for all of us on here and I know we're strangers, but the people who hurt you don't deserve you. They do not deserve you, you all are such kind people who'd never do the same or at least I know I wouldn't. We will be okay.

#notpro4n4 #notprojustusingthetags #anorex14 #ed no sheeran #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #tw ana diary #tw ana shit #tw disordered eating #ana and mia #ana trigger #tw mia stuff #i want to ⭐️ve #⭐️rve #⭐️ving #⭐️ve #🕯️as a 🪶 #anaorexia #anorexcya #anore×14 #anorexies #anorexigenic #anoreksik #tw ana fast #tw self destructive behavior #tw rant #tw ed rant #tw ed descussion

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Oh I'm such a wimp I don't even wanna think about bad things happening 🫣 But I keep coming back to touch starved, secret caretaking and cry into chest, if you want to talk about any of them?

Well secret caretaking would be kind of a fluffy one! Buck is a pretty stubborn guy when it comes to taking care of himself and asking others for help related to that, so it would be Eddie quietly doing things to make his life easier/nicer while he’s having a tough time. A lot of him being sappy while making sure his ice packs always get back in the freezer, etc.

Haven’t figured out the other two so I’ll just start typing shit out under the cut

Cry into chest…. Not sure what to do about this one…. Maybe I’ll make Eddie cry about something…. Family problems? A nightmare? Buck got hurt and he’s worried? Chris is sick and he’s worried? Or maybe nothing at all has happened but he still is just caught up in an overwhelming feeling of nonspecific worry and frustrated about it because he thought he was past this, The Breakdown ™ was so long ago at this point and like he knows making progress doesn’t mean he magically doesn’t have anxiety anymore and he can have set backs and that’s okay, but he’d been getting better at recognizing when panic like this is coming on and what might trigger it, he’s upset that this blindsided him. Yeah I like that I think I’ll turn that into something…

Touch starved might be another Eddie one. Maybe lawsuit era, maybe post shooting where Ana is there and touches him but he just wants buck, maybe breakdown era where he doesnt see buck anymore and misses him so much but doesnt know how to ask for it, maybe just a general him getting in his head about what kind of touch he’s allowed to have? Like he and Buck casually touched and hugged more in the first season or two they were in and then got a little more distant and that could be characterized as like… in the early days Buck is a friend, its fine to pal around with your friends, but then uh oh the emotions are getting really intense now and you’re not supposed to want to touch your friends this much! Danger! What would the guys on his baseball team have said? What would his dad say? In other words Eddie Diaz Fights The Forces Of Internalized Homophobia. OR I might repurpose and finish this snippet (that I think I’ve already posted before??) about Buck coming back to the Diaz house for the first time after the tsunami

They’re in the locker room, shift over by a good ten minutes, when Eddie puts a hand on his arm. Buck, carefully, doesn’t startle or say this is the second time you’ve touched me in three months out loud.

“You wanna come over,” Eddie says, theoretically a question but presented more like a statement, and Buck should probably feel more annoyed at that except for the fact that there’s a less than zero chance he’d ever say no.

“Yeah,” he says, unnecessarily. “Sure. You want me to grab food?”

So, 40 minutes later, he’s in front of the Diaz house holding a few greasy boxes and worrying that somehow everyone’s taste in pizza has changed since the last time they did this. Eddie’s taste, probably, at nearly years old, has settled such that the most garlic-y option Buck can find is still a safe bet, but Chris is just a kid, getting bigger every day, changing all the time. Three months is an age to an eight year old, maybe pepperoni is disgusting now, embarrassing, food for babies.

So. Buck is standing on the porch, holding the boxes, biting his tongue not to cry wondering what all he might have missed when Eddie pulls into the driveway in his new big truck. He bites down harder because he doesn’t know what he’s allowed anymore, if it would be okay for him to laugh and say what the fuck are you hauling around that you need this much car, Diaz.

Sorry Eddie I will never pass up the opportunity to rage on you for your poor choice of car for city driving

#tag games #asked and answered #wip tag game

[margridarnauds]

So, my Honour Mode Anathematisma Run, aka "How Many Ways Can I Fuck Up This Run Without Dying"

So, I got the Friends cantrip, which I've never really used before on this difficulty level. This is important for down the line.

Ana is RIDICULOUSLY powerful because I installed a cambion mod because it's what Hell's Little Princess deserves.

We easily demolish most of the early Act 1 things that can end an Honour Mode run easily, even getting the Everburn blade.

Then...we get to the Grove. I'm not able to prevent Zevlor from being punched by Aradin, but it's *fine*. Kagha's there, wants to speak with us, etc.

Ana goes to talk with her with her bardy powers

Because this is Honour Mode and redos are MUCH more expensive (and I don't want Arabella to die), I use. The Friends cantrip.

It succeeds, Arabella runs free.

Then...it runs out. Kagha and co. turn hostile immediately.

Worse, when I try to run out as a way of getting RID of the temporarily hostile buff, the druids decide that's the time to start the tiefling genocide party. I'm able to take down Kagha and the remaining druids, but then I have to take down the rest outside.

It's...not pretty.

I'm able to put them down, but there are a lot of casualties. Including Wyll and Dammon. Wyll...who is Ana's canonical love interest.

Okay, fine, this would make me reload another game, but we can move ON from this. It'll be *fine*. Especially once I resurrect Wyll. We're back on track.

I still have to give Rath money in order to make him like me again even though he turned on Kagha.

...I go to recruit Karlach. She shames me for killing everyone in the Grove. Calls Wyll a rat.

...well, she's not joining our side AND was rude, so she's gotta die.

Okay, so a lot of people are dead AND Karlach's dead, but we can move on from this.

I go to the Owlbear cave after convincing the expendable Absolutists to avenge their brother. The owlbear cub stays hostile after I kill both of the older owlbears. I have to knock it out. (I'd been hoping to trigger Wyll Approval Points by sparing it in the cutscene)

I go to the Zhentarim locked in the cave. Unfortunately, even though I succeed in convincing Flind to kill all her pack mates, I'm not able to get her to eat herself. So she's gotta go.

I'm not able to win this fight because my team's exhausted after everything else, so I'm able to book a retreat with Astarion.

I get everyone resurrected, do a long rest, go back, kill Flind. Rugan and his buddy are dead, but they're Banites (albeit hot Banites), so I don't care about them.

Go to Waukeen's Rest, save everyone there, go to the Zhentarim hideout, hand over the chest. I go to negotiate for the painter's release. And I use. Friends.

I have to fight the Zhentarim.

At least I got a Titanstring bow out of it.

Astarion is lagging behind in approval, so I decide to go to the swamp. He kills Gandrel instantly because he hasn't revealed he's a vampire.

I go back to the Goblin Camp, prepared to kill the leaders + make it to the Underdark (it's...going to be fun giving Halsin the news). I go to Priestess Gut, especially since she's USUALLY the easiest to kill.

...some combination of my dialogue means she isn't willing to even talk to me and tells me to go away. So I have to initiate combat. I cast Silence so she won't call for help, but she runs outside of it and does it anyway.

She then DRAGS Roah Moonglow, aka One of the OTHER Best Merchants In Act One, into the battle. I have to put MORE Zhentarim down as well as deal with Priestess Gut.

Eventually, I kill all of them.

So, at the moment, Ana has a relatively poor relationship with Astarion (even though she allows him to munch on her), not NEARLY as good a relationship as she could have with Wyll (even though she's making him worse now that Karlach's gone), Gale has been asking for magical artifacts freakishly fast, we've lost a total of four merchants, the druids are dead, and Karlach is McFucking Dead. And I honestly have no idea whether the Owlbear Cub will spawn, especially since Korra is too focused on me poisoning her friends to want to play Chicken Chase.

And we still haven't had the chance for the Family Reunion with Raphael.

At least Ana's new design is hot?

#long post #oc: anathematisma

[oathofkaslana]

gay hi3 moments from the top of my head (some details inaccurate) also some of these are awful and i hate them ok i need it to be known i dont like all of these.

kiana counting down how long it’s been since she’s seen mei to the minute.

the “i gain the power of 100 men when mei’s around!”

bronya seele kiss in azure waters where seele goes "i gave you my first kiss sm sm" and im pretty sure makes her promise to give one to her when they reunite

FUCK. COOKING W VALKS MANHUA WHERE SEELE GOES "the sea is so beautiful i feel like i could stare at it forever" AND BRONYA GOES "duh because the water is azure blue. just like your eyes" AND GOES LIKE AN INCH IN HER FACE.

i feel like i have to put everything in azure waters oh my god i feel sick i miss them so much.

kiana licking mei’s wound in escape from nagazora

kiana and mei in a hot spring and kiana touching mei’s boobs saying she’s been wanting to. i think also in escape from nagazora.

kiana getting unnecessarily jealous over bronya whenever mei shows her any attention

bronseele ad where bronya complains about having her license revoked and seele going “good! now i know you’re not picking up other girls”

lament of the fallen. (COME ON. COMPARED TO EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD, YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT????)

kiana and mei being compared to a canonical m/f couple, owl and ana.

shakespeare mentions how it’s interesting to see real couples play a part and one of the couples being bianka and rita in durandal’s visual novel.

speaking of that play. biankas cgaracter makes a line about having sex w his wife (played by rita) and rita teases bianka about wanting it afterwards and bianka blushes

biankas one birthday cutscene where the narrator was talking abt how there’s this feeling she can’t put into words and how captivated she is by rita’s radiant smile ← GET A ROOM!!!!!

elysia calling her fight w mei a first date

eden saying that forever being apart of elysia makes her happy because its the most romantic ending

mei saying her favorite colors are orange and red (kiana and her's key colors)

mei coming back to the elysian realm after briefly talking to kiana and eden and elysia both notice how much happier she is and elysia goes "tell me about her" (HER.)

elysia voice. i like pretty girls.

every single elysia and kiana interaction in ch 34 idc if its mei's dream ("im so weak for pretty girls like kiana" "unless kiana prefers something more bold like purring in my arms" <- WHAT IS WRONG W HER!!!!!!!!!!!!)

natasha intenbtionally taking her hood off after mei told her that elysia says she doesnt meet natasha bc of her hood

elymei horn scene.

mei dreaming about having a japanese wedding with kiana.

kiamei matching rings named after chinese numbers symbolic of love that were given out for white day.

kiamei stigmata showing them getting married that was given out for valentines day.

reburn kiss where kiana kisses mei's battered mech while crying after i love you in german flashes on screen.

kiana going "this treasure called love" and immediately getting a text from mei.

"this is a story about love it will end with love" as kiana and mei walk with each other past durandal and rita to meet with bronya whos with seele AS CANON IN D STARTS PLAYING. YK THE FUCKING MARRIAGE CEREMONY SONG.

SAKUKALLEN KISS IN COOKING WITH VALKYRIES

theresa thinking sakura (a woman) kissed her and going "wait! im not like kiana and mei!"

kallen voice "the herrscher girl is innocent and i am in love with her"

^upon learning that kiana blushing and going "theres onthing wrong with falling in love with a herrscher!" while thinking of mei

moon shadow where kiana's heart starts racing bc she thinks fu hua's fallen in love with her and the wlw symbol is drawn behind her as she blushes and says "ive given my body and soul to mei but--"

fu hua later being teased by a coworker who suggested that hua likes kiana

sakukallen "love at first sight" line in sakura samsara

HELP THAT ONE EVENT WHERE VELIONA SLAMS BRONYA ONTO A WALL TO INTIMIDATE HER AND BRONYAS BLUSHING AND AS VELI'S YELLING AT HER, EINSTEIN WALKS OUT, SEES THEM, AND GOES, "sorry for interrupting, have fun"

also in that same event, bronya blushing and avoiding seele the next day and going "sorry bronya cant forget because thats a precious memory for bronya"

susannah fawning over durandal, rita, and sushang

susannah talking about how pretty sushang is and how she likes her voice i hate them oh my god susannah get up

tesla being jealous of welt joyce when ein teasingly gives him special attention in the visual novel

tesla getting jealous when planck (i think) hugs ein tightly and kisses ein on the head

tesla edison fingering joke after edison sniffs her neck.

bronya's bridge interactions w seele. my god i love them so mcuh.

sakura and kallen having heart reactions when you put them in bed next to each other

sakukallen "yae sakura shall fade, beloved, your kin shall live. in the far east 500 years ago where sakura blossoms bloom, yae sakura waits for her one true love"

gratitude arc where kallen loves sakura so much that protecting sakura becomes a part of the oath she genetically passes on to theresa

the 4koma on the sight where kiana and mei are told to get a room, apply for a marriage certificate(? i think), and have heart eyes towards each other while the wlw signs are behind them

kiana voice "this has nothing to do with me going lesbo!!!"

4koma kiana voice "im a lesbian everyone knows that"

elysia and aponia's "girl games"??????????? <- on thin ice but cmon no way that wasnt an innuendo

elysia's interaction w HoO mei where she talks about wanting to touch a particular thing but gets cut off by mei telling her she cant touch her horns again (SHE DOES NOT HAVE HORNS IN HER HoO SUIT)

kiana smiling when she sees mei's boobs in the anniversary vlog short thing.

the shenzhou island event where kiana points a camera at mei's boobs and goes "hehe mei is so pretty"

durarita matching earrings in their matching battlesuits

and ok im blanking now yay this is definitely not all when i say off the top of my head i really mean off the top of my head.

#hnk3

[blxckdragonfly]

Alkaline (Darkness Finds You Universe #4)

(Song: “Alkaline” by Sleep Token. 

Warnings: Mention of overdose, suicide, drug use, slight smut on the page, and then some good old fluff af. 

Pairing: Chris Motionless & Lycia Winters “Pronunciation of her name-- Lai-shuh” (Played by Ana De Armas) 

Synopsis: After being consumed by the recurring nightmare that she gets every three days after the anniversary of the death of her first love, Marcus, Lycia opens up to Chris about the overdose that nearly cost her her life. 

Word Count: 2,924 

A/N: And we’re back! This is a pretty tough one to also begin with but I hope the romance that you read and the fluff afterwards makes this one easier to handle. I hope you enjoy. x Tiger Co-written with @blackrose-92​

Spotify Playlist: Linked Below!)

Lycia and Chris’s Home: Scranton, Pennsylvania– March 17th, 2022.  

Flames, they were bright as the sun– the tint of orange crossing my vision as I saw the silhouette of my first love and boyfriend, Marcus, every inch of his body being swept in them. The smoke filled my lungs and it hurt to breathe. I stood, frozen as the thorny vines wrapped around me, digging into my flesh when I wanted to move and escape. 

“Marcus! Marcus, no! Don’t!” I screamed until I felt my throat become raw.

“Lycia. Lycia, hey. Wake up.” I suddenly hear Chris’s voice but it’s distant, the vines releasing their grip on me and I see a light in front of me, I follow that light. 

I stir and my eyes open, making sure I don’t jerk my body as I see Chris in front of me. His eyes took on a look of worry. I wipe my forehead and I feel a warm sweat on my body, like I’d actually been too close to a flame. I feel his hand move to stroke my hair and he senses how warm I am. 

“Oh, not again,” I grumble. “You’d think I’d be used to this by now.” 

“Baby, this is not something you should be used to,” Chris said as I looked into his worried eyes, the warmth of the chocolate brown. “This isn’t normal, let alone healthy.” 

“If you want to talk unhealthy, babe. You don’t even know half of it.” I say as I sit up in bed, leaning against the headboard, I see a look of intrigue come across his face. 

“What do you mean, Lycia?” Chris asks as he sits with me. I take a deep breath. 

“After Marcus died, the shock lasted several days. I tried to find ways to cope with the pain and then it just got worse after that. Even after drinking, it didn’t help. I went out with a few friends to a party and there happened to be a few people offering cocaine so I took some. 

After the first line, it didn’t do anything. So I kept going until I was offered heroin. In my mindset, I thought that this had been the answer I was seeking. I lost a ton of weight and I was constantly tired. Until about a month later when that same dealer who offered me the heroin came back looking for payment. Even though I was loopy out of my fucking mind, I didn’t consent to what happened between him and I but he did it anyway. I remember him saying it was payment for the drugs. I couldn’t fight him off because I was so high on heroin.” I explained. 

I see Chris look almost sick to his stomach and I see anger crossing his eyes– I know he wasn’t mad at me. I know he was mad about the situation. 

“I didn’t care at that point. I wanted to die– I wanted to see Marcus again, even if it meant killing myself to do it. I filled the syringe up to the max and I injected myself with it. I wanted the pain to stop, so I begged to slip away without any more pain. My brother, Adrian, found me that day. He rushed me to the hospital while I was under, I had two strokes and a heart attack.” 

Chris’s anger disappears and tears come up to the surface in his eyes, as if he wanted to grieve my almost death. 

“I should probably stop, I can see the way it’s starting to get to you,” I murmured. I feel Chris take my hand in his own, he shakes his head at me. 

“No, honey. Keep going,” Chris whispers as he takes on a brave face. I sighed. 

“Even though I almost died, something kept me here. I didn’t know what it was at the time but as I recovered, I was told that I’d be transferred to a mental hospital, where I was put on suicide watch. I understood why though. The only option to get out was going to rehab, which I jumped immediately at and did everything I could to sober myself back up. Get back to a healthier mindset.” 

I felt Chris’s thumb tracing the back of my hand, I could see that he was trying to be strong for me but even then, a single tear fell down his face. 

Every once in a while, something changes

And she's changing me

It's too late for me now, I am altered

There is something beneath

“Babe, I know you’re trying so hard to be strong for me. I appreciate it, I do but you can let it out.” I whisper. He doesn’t say anything for a moment until he pulls me close, laying on the bed and wrapping his arms around me. I lay my head on his chest as I hear his breathing become heavy and he starts to sob softly. We clutch onto each other, shedding tears. 

“I fucking love you,” He says as he sniffs, laying his chin on the top of my head. “I love you so much, Lycia. I’m so sorry that you had to go through such horrible shit like that. Don’t blame yourself for getting into those kinds of situations. You were in such a vulnerable state and the people around you took advantage of that.” 

“I love you too,” My voice is soft as a realization hits me. I knew why I was kept here. I knew it all along. It was the man holding me in his arms. “I think I know what kept me here after all.” 

I leaned in and I wiped away the tears that fell down Chris’s face with my thumb. Our eyes lock as I rest my forehead against his. “You. I would have never met you or fell in love with you if I didn’t make myself recover. You’re the best thing in my life, Christopher Cerulli. You always will be.” 

She's not acid nor alkaline

Caught between black and white

Not quite either day or night

She's perfectly misaligned

Chris is silent for more than a few minutes and I see his face look so touched. He meets my lips in a tender kiss, I respond to him automatically, wrapping my arms around his neck– fingers moving through his blonde hair as he deepens the kiss. When he breaks the kiss, he keeps one hand against my face, thumb tracing my cheekbone. 

“I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve had fans come up and tell me that I’ve saved their lives somehow with Motionless,” He murmured. “But this… This means the entire fucking world to me. Despite it all, despite the amount of pain that you’ve experienced, you still want to stay alive and overcome it. You want to be here and keep on rising. I’m so proud of you, baby. I’ll always make sure to be here for you whenever this time of year comes around. One way or the other.” 

I'm caught up in her design

And how it connects to mine

I see in a different light

The object of my desire

My heart starts to flutter in my chest as I pull him in for another kiss, I’m so grateful for this wonderful and kind hearted man being in my life. 

"I’m so happy I have you by my side, babe. You make me feel better everyday,” I whisper. I see a smile across his face as he moves in to kiss me again, he shifts so I’m on my back with my head on the pillows. I raise a brow at him and he chuckles softly. 

“I just want to love you, right now.” My heart melts as he leans in and kisses me as he moves on top of me slowly, wanting to feel me against him as my arms find their way around his neck. He breaks the kiss and starts his trail down my neck, making my body stretch at the warm feeling. My fingers reached for the black tee that he wore. I pull it off of him, leaving him shirtless. 

I will never fucking get over how hot he looks shirtless. He looks into my eyes, we both break out into smiles as his hand moves towards my face, the lightest touch against my jaw as he meets my lips again.

He reaches for mine and he carefully slips it off of me, our skin brushing against each other’s and it makes me shiver in pleasure. He moves his lips to my shoulders, a sigh leaving my own lips. 

He takes his time appreciating the skin of my upper body, kissing the center of my chest and then moving to my breast, making me run my fingers through his blonde hair as he focuses on both of them slowly. His hands touch my tattoos until he brushes the scars on my arm.

Our eyes meet each other as I see him do something I’d never seen anyone else do, the gesture bringing tears to my eyes. He places his lips onto the scars, kissing them.

That gesture of affection from him made me want him as much as he wanted me. We waste no time getting the last of our clothing off of each other. He kisses me again before going down to my ribcage and stomach, tracing the phoenix on my hip once more as he looks up at me. 

Ooh, let's talk about chemistry

'Cause I'm dying to melt through

To the hеart of her molecules

“After everything you told me, is that why you have this phoenix tattooed on you?” He asks. I run my fingers through his hair softly and I nod. 

“Yes,” I say. “It’s my reminder to keep rising up from the ashes of my past.” 

"Perfect," He whispers. He moves back up and with a warm and meaningful look in his eyes, he places a sweet peck on my lips before moving back down. I suddenly feel his fingers and I let out a soft moan, he grins at the sound that I make. He starts teasing me with his mouth too. 

“Oh, fuck,” I whimper from the pleasure as he switches from using his fingers to his mouth, the way his tongue sweeps me making me cry out and he smirks because only he can make me feel this way. “God, Chris. Fuck.” 

He looks up at me as he caresses my skin with his other hand as his fingers move back inside. 

“I love it when you say my name.” He keeps his pattern going, pulling the best cries out of me. Whimpers and moans that nearly make me almost want to climax right then and there. 

“Babe… I can’t. I need you. Please,” He pulls his fingers away and he moves back up, meeting my lips in a passionate and deep kiss before I decide to push him onto his back on the bed, taking him by surprise as I straddle his hips. I take both of his hands in my own and pin them above his head. He breaks away with a look of shock in his eyes. 

“Well, Lycia. Goddamn. That was hot,” He says and I start to giggle. 

Til thе particles part like holy water

If anything, she's an undiscovered element

Either born in hell or heaven-sent

Either way, I'm into it

I let go of his hands as I took that second to slide onto him, we both let out moans together. I start to move slowly, putting both of my hands on his tattooed chest. 

He lays his own hands against my hips, guiding my movements and tracing my skin as our lips meet in a sweet kiss for a moment, our eyes never leaving each other as he starts meeting my movements with his own. He rests his forehead against mine, I lean down and bury my face into the crook of his neck as our pace stays in this gentle and passionate atmosphere. 

“Babe... Don’t stop,” I whine softly as I see a seductive look cross his warm brown eyes, making me even more turned on if I could. I lightly pull on his blonde hair, a soft growl escaping from within his chest. He leans into my lips once more as he deepens our movements.

“Never, baby. Never.” He murmured as we kept our pace going until we reached our climax together-- me collapsing in Chris’s arms as we both were panting against each other. My head laying on his chest as I trace his tattoos with my fingers, his eyes closing at my touch.  

“I love you,” I whisper as Chris runs his fingers through the dampened strands of my hair, placing a kiss onto my forehead. 

“I love you too, honey. I always will.” I curl into his chest as he holds me close in his arms, never wanting to let me go. He rested his chin on my head as we both fell back asleep together. 

She's not acid nor alkaline

Caught between black and white

Not quite either day or night

She's perfectly misaligned

I wake up later that morning to an empty bed, I glance around for Chris as I sit up in bed. I then see the most beautiful bouquet of my favorite flowers, which are Queen of The Night tulips, they're a type of tulip that are so dark in purple that they look almost black and a note on my nightstand, my heart starts to melt. 

Had to head into the studio to finish the final touches on Scoring The End of The World. I’ll be home in a few hours with a surprise for you. I love you, my Lycia. Never forget how much I love you. 

“You’re the best boyfriend ever, Christopher Cerulli.” I say as I get up out of bed, seeking a shower, a clean set of clothes and breakfast, which is what I do. I changed into a pumpkin orange crop top from Fashion Nova, a pair of ripped black skinny jeans and pulled my hair into a ponytail before opening up my laptop and answering emails, responding to Jeremy about who we should feature for next month’s Outburn. 

I'm caught up in her design

And how it connects to mine

I see in a different light

The object of my desire

A few hours later, I hear the door open and close and my head snaps up as Chris walks into our living room with his hands behind his back. 

“Hi, baby. You said you had a surprise for me?” I asked. 

“I sure do.” He smiles as he sets down a black box with air holes in front of me, sliding it towards me. I hear what sounds like a whine coming from the box. I raise a brow at him.

“Did my present just whine?” I say and he shrugs at me. 

“Maybe,” He says. “Why don’t you open it up and find out, honey?” 

I kneel down and I open the black box and out pop two black pug puppies, their heads sticking out and looking at me with their big brown eyes. My heart melts as I squeal softly. 

“Chris! You didn’t!” I hear him laughing. “Oh, they’re so adorable!” 

I slowly pull them out of the box, I see that one has white on its chest and the other has white paws, the one with the white paws starts to lick my face, making me giggle. 

“They’re brother and sister,” Chris kneels down with the pups, stroking the other pug gently. “Ricky told me he had a friend who was fostering pugs. As soon as he sent me the photos of these two, I knew they were perfect for us. I also knew that you’d love them.” 

“I do,” I murmur as I look at him. “Oh, babe. They’re so precious. This is the best surprise ever.” I lean in and place my lips onto his, kissing him deeply as he moves to hold me in his arms. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you more, my Lycia,” He places a tender kiss on my temple. “So, what should we name these two?” 

“That’s easy. Fang and Luna,” I smile and he grins, kissing my lips in agreement as we watched Fang and Luna play together. “I love that they’re black pugs too. They remind me of Edgar, my friend Felix and his wife, Marzia’s pug. How did you know that I loved pugs?” 

“I talked to your friend on Instagram,” Chris tells me. “Marzia. She told me how much you love seeing Edgar and Maya when you fly out to see her and Felix. She told me that Edgar was really close to you. She helped me with all the essentials on how to take care of pugs too. You’re very lucky to have such lovely friends like her. So I knew that I had to get these two for you so you can have a reminder of Edgar when you’re home with me.” 

I couldn’t have asked for a more loving boyfriend if I tried. The fact that he spoke to my friends before surprising me with this… It meant so much to me that he cared so much. 

“This is seriously the sweetest thing you could have ever done for me,” I told him. “You’re the best boyfriend ever. Words are failing me because I’m so happy.” 

He smiles and kisses me sweetly on the cheek. 

“Good. Because nothing matters to me more than seeing you happy.” I hug him again, listening to the sounds of Fang and Luna’s barks as I close my eyes against him, enjoying this wonderful moment of time.

Not acid nor alkaline

Caught between black and white

Not quite either day or night

She's perfectly misaligned

I'm caught up in her design

And how it connects to mine

I see in a different light

The object of my desire…

(PS: Meet their pugs! This is Fang and Luna! x Tiger)

#darkness finds you #chris motionless x lycia winters #chris motionless #motionless in white #chris motionless fanfic #these two though. man I love them. #Spotify

[dullweapons]

PROS  &  CONS OF DATING MY MUSE.   /    RAY CADELL 

PROS :

hot demon ??? that will simp over you ??? sign me up ???

likes physical affection - will give cuddles , kisses , hugs !!! sometimes he just touch you -- hand on your shoulder , hold your hand , brush hair out of your face . and if your not one for touches he will ask permission -- and if the answer is no he will respect that !!!

stronk........can and will carrying you when you tired

takes notice of your hobbies and interests -- will get you things for said interests because he supports what you do . if you want to learn how to duel then he will show you . and if you want him to get into your hobbies with you then he’ll give them a try! want him to play music with you ? sure give him a guitar ! like collecting bugs ? well guess he’s grabbing a net ! 

will buy you so many presents its insane.......flowers when your first wake up.......your favorite snacks.......that book you were thinking of buying?? too late he’s already got it for you . need a component for a potion thats half way across hyrule ? he got you - 

probably said ‘ i love you ’ first and will say it a lot because he wants you to know it . as hard as it is for him to expresses himself , love isn't on that list . he will make damn sure that you have his heart . ( ps he really likes to be called ‘ baby ‘ so pls do so ) 

will adjust his work , sleep and eating schedule to see you more !! maybe even pick a date night and works his hardest to make it romantic af . 

will protect you from any dangers ! pretty much will be your guard dog and will fight anything that dare hurts you . 

is actually really playful ! enjoys to tease and make his partner smile when he can

good in bed . 

will probably commit war crimes for you

CONS :

bad with emotions........can’t process his own what makes you think he can do other peoples ? ray has low empathy so he can’t really understand your feelings ( ie; can’t place himself in your shoes ) but he thinks logically why you may feels sad.............which doesn’t always work.........you’re going to need to be very clear and direct with him . 

is easily embarrassed . it takes him a little while to work up to physical displays of affection in public . yes , he’ll say i love you first but he’s not gonna reach for your hand first until a good while into the relationship . 

oh lord he’s clingy..........like really fucking clingy . im so sorry if you’ve caught his eye cause now you can’t get rid of him . probably shows his affection so much that it becomes suffocating . ( mostly because he wants you life time with him to be full of love and happiness , since your muse will die and he will go on ) 

more than likely has built up this perfect version on you in his head that can do no wrong . he’s done this with sahar - she's no longer a human anymore but an idol

but this man is walking war trauma and does suffer from C-PTSD related panic attacks / flashbacks . this causes a lot of the cons you see on this list . he won't take any sort of ‘ you're a good person ‘ talk . barely will talk to you what happen to him . he has nightmares where he wakes up screaming - he’ll think it's completely different eras from time to time and not recognize you . it's a lot to handle and he doesn't want to burden you with it . 

you are going to have to ask ana what he’s feeling because he is the king of resting bitch face and lord of the blunt affect . she’s really the only one who knows how he expresses himself ( albeit very little )

you’re not allowed to die . you are not allowed to put yourself in harms way ( unless you have proven yourself capable ofc but even then he’s hovering over you ) . you die from natural causes or by his hand . ( he sees that last choice as the most romantic thing he can do in some twisted way ) 

will probably commit war crimes for you even if you say no

#⸻ RAY : about ✦ remember me i ask . remember me i sing ˎˊ˗ #( i saw a few reboops of peoples pros and con list so heres mine from like two blogs ago )

[5millioncatipilars]

Tips for playing Overwatch, to dps and tank mains, from a support main

I’m in an overwatch mood tonight so I’m just gonna spam some thoughts before I go to bed.

As a support main, fuck you

Protect me if I’m getting targeted, I can’t heal you if I’m dead and I’m very squishy

I also can’t heal you if you’re halfway across the map, stay with the group. I don’t play Kiriko so I can’t just teleport to you and most support characters are slow af.

If you charge into the enemy team alone, I’m not following you. Don’t even ask for heals.

Supports’ main priority is to keep ourselves alive. I will leave my last teammate with low health to die if the enemy team starts to turn to me. Call it a tactical retreat.

Again, I can’t heal you if I’m dead.

Stop feeding the enemy team. Wait for at least one support before you go charging in so you don’t just die again.

I have to turn off game chat periodically bc if someone’s being an asshole to the supports in chat I will just stop healing them. Even if it means we loose. Be an asshole —> get no heals.

Sorjorn you do not need heals. Stop asking

Ash you do not need heals. Stop asking

Genji you are actively dying. Come back here and get some heals

Someone please remember the point of the game and go to the objective, I’m alone on here and the enemy team is on their way

Tank you do not need heals you still have half health I’m trying to make our dps with less than 10 health stop dying

Widow you can’t just stand in the middle of the road and snipe. Also if you’re getting shot at, you need to move positions, they obviously know where you are now.

Stop standing in Sorjorn’s ouch bubble. Please

Reaper I love you. You always shadow walk to me when you need heals

Hanzo that was real polite of you to just stand behind me until I noticed you but next time please ask for heals you are at 20 health and I did not know you were there

Reinheart I love you

Winston your bubble doesn’t make you immortal. If you jump into the enemy team and die, it’s not my fault. I tried

Doomfist you’re pretty squishy for a tank. Stop charging in without your heals

Roadhog if I’m actively healing you don’t use your health pack thing. Save it for when you need it

Why is Junkrat always dying? Like they’re always at critical health. What happened I healed you two seconds ago

Stop asking for heals right when there’s a break in the fight. I’ll top you up just gimme a sec to see who’s the most dying

If the support is doing more dps than you while also having more than 5000 heals you’re playing the game wrong

If the support switches from mainly heals to dps, you’re doing something wrong and they have taken on a “if you need something done right, do it yourself” attitude. Good luck finding health packs for the rest of the game

Don’t yell at me before you see the 11000 heals I’ve done. It’s not my fault you’re bad at the game

Don’t get mad in casual play. It’s just a game, we’re here to have fun. If you want to be sweaty and get mad about it, go play competitive mode

Stop dying. Just like, chill out.

Can someone come kill this dps that keeps flanking us and targeting our support? No? Ok.

Fyi: Baptiste’s lantern stops you from dying. If I put it down by you, stop moving. I’m gonna heal you, but you have to stay right here so you don’t die while I do it.

Fyi pt, 2: Baptiste’s ult amplifies healing and damage that goes through it. It’s like having Ana’s ult on the entire team of you use it right. Stop walking through it to charge into the enemy team. I can kill a tank at full health with a pocket healer on my own as a support character with that thing. It’s pretty op if you actually use it

Moira has very limited healing capabilities, so sorry if I’m not healing you right now, it’s recharging

As Anna, if you’re not getting any heals from me, one sec, I lost line of sight, I’m very slow, just give me a minute

Ana’s splash grenade stops the enemy from healing. Target whoever I just splashed

Lucio’s healing is passive. If you need heals, come find me

Stop running from me you fucking idiot I’m trying to keep you alive

Phara and Echo, pretty please with a cherry on top just land next to me for two seconds so I can heal you. You’re really hard to heal in the air, and for some characters impossible

Supports that heal other supports I love you. Come kill the flanking dps with me it’ll be fun

Support isn’t just there to heal you. That’s why it’s called support, not healing.

Goodnight 😌

#overwatch #support main #y’all stress me out #thanks for watching watch mojo #ramblings #it’s 5am #goodnight #haters gonna hate #support mains deserve to be a little passive aggressive #as a treat #I’m done with overwatch posting for tonight #promise #tomorrow we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled program

[aleksa-sims]

👩‍🎓... 🌿📸🐝🐜..... 📝❤️

RL Simself Story

I went to university. 🤓..... Not really! 🫤 I visited my sister and my cuz M. there, to...... take pics of bugs.🤷‍♀️

Ana and Mario didn't go to exactly the same university. Ana studied something different from our Cuousin. She continued with that dull business thing and he studied cine technology and something else. I'm not sure? 😬 (Idk the exact technical name for it.) But their universities were on the same campus & they also lived in the same dorm.

Yesterday Ana and I arrived there, at her dorm (I got 2 weeks off) and this morning, I accompanied her and M. to their campus. Because, I also had a job. I worked on a university project with my cuz.😁 But back to yesterday. Last night I couldn’t sleep. I kept dreaming about Daniel and I also had withdrawal symptoms.🤦‍♀️So I walked like a ghost through the halls of that student housing, to get tired and distract myself. Well....

a.... crazy student who also lived there wanted to get off with me. 🤨... "Just fuck off, man!", I thought. But instead of saying that to him, I did something extremely stupid.🤦‍♀️ I was so desperate and my pain so strong.... I asked him for drugs. And as if all this wasn't already embarrassing enough, my cousin M. came out of his room. We were standing right in front of his door in that hallway.

He recorded something for college and the background noises that this guy & I made, were on his recording/tape, so he couldn’t continue working. He asked us to.... shut the fuck up! He was a bit pissed, you know? 😬... However, that weirdo left. About that drug & my conditon, I'm not going to talk about it today.... M. asked me what was going on? He didn’t know what happend to D. & me. .... So I told him....

He couldn’t believe Daniel just left. He was there at our wedding and saw how happy Daniel was... M. asked me a ton of questions... But... yea. I didn't really wanna talk... So my cousin had an idea for me. He asked me to help him with his college project. That way, he tried to bring me to other thoughts. 💚

He remembered that I used to like taking pictures, when we were "little", which was a pretty nice hobby of mine for a while. He needed some close-ups of different things, actually it didn’t matter what, but it had to be in nature/ out doors. Somehow I liked this idea and also felt pretty good helping my baby cuz. The next day I made my way for some nice shoots, as you can see above.

However, that was not all I did that day. The nice stranger I met online at the Sims 4 Gallery, also had a little task/job for me. He wanted me, to write him a love letter, handwritten!! 🤣 (He's so crazy!) When he wanted this from me, I had the strong suspicion that it's Nico, who texted me. And this was also his intention! He wanted me to think of him. Cos those... love letters, I have actually written to him in the past., when he & I were just on the phone.

Nico wanted me to get him back in my mind, he wanted me to think about him and not Daniel. I asked him if he was Nico, the stranger who texted me?? But he never really gave me a clear answer. He just said, I’ll find out who he really is and no matter who he is. Nico or not, I won’t be disappointed. The person who is texting me, is definitely not as he once was, he said. .. WTF? Ha?.... That's so confusing! But I was pretty sure, it's Nico. He knew that I love Sims and play regularly. So suddenly everything he told me weeks before, made sense now. But I'm gonna tell next time more about that, when I see Philip.

Oh, and in case you wonder where Ana was? She had a date with Adam. They had a fight a day before we went to her dorm. It was about me. And drugs. Ugh yea, but Adam's gonna talk to me too about that and well, I think he didn't do anything to me that one night in my apartment. (😞🤦‍♀️Not yet.)

Something else:

This post today was kind of a test for me. Maybe I will post in the future without captions? I'm not sure yet? Pics with captions are... Idk? I’m having a hard time with that tbh. Cos.. you can hardly see anything that's going on in the pic, with so much text on it. And sometimes it’s hard to read anyway. But yea, if you don't like it that way, just let me know! Idk yet what I'm going to do? Maybe a Mix? Agh, let's see...

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl simself story #myrlgameplay #18+ content #Idk what this is #trying it without capitions

[thereforebucket]

I Was Made For You

Summary: Lupe has a cat. Jess has mice. They've been dating for six months and they're definitely not trying to U-haul. But, you know, the best laid plans of mice and men...

-----

Jesslupe future au feat. Jess' dog, Lupe's Horrible Cat, and Brandi Carlile

Pairing: Lupe García/Jess McCready

Word Count: 9197

AO3

There’s a yelp from the kitchen, followed by “¡Jesucristo!” and a loud bark.

“Timber!” Jess calls, and her giant marshmallow of a Samoyed comes running into the room, then whines at her. She gets up and pats her legs. Timber comes right to her and she sinks her hands into his fur, rubbing up and down his ribs. “You ok boy?” she asks him.

“Oh sure, check on the dog.” Jess looks up to see Lupe leaning against the doorjamb, hands shoved deep in her pockets. She’s dressed in what she changed into after work, a pair of men’s jeans and a vintage Metallica that has only softened with age. She’s arranged her features into a look of annoyance, but there’s a smile peeking out.

Jess smirks. “He’s a big softy, what’s your excuse?”

Lupe raises her eyebrows. “Another mouse,” she says. “It surprised me, darted right out from underneath the oven.”

The smirk sours on Jess’ face. “Fuck,” she says.

“Yeah,” Lupe agrees. “You gotta do something about them, hon, they’re settling in.”

Jess makes a noise of disgust in the back of her throat. “Goddammit.”

There’s a pause. “You know…” Lupe starts slowly, and Jess looks at her sharply.

“No.”

“He’s a good mouser!”

“He’ll scare the dog!”

“So take him for a walk!”

“What, for like four hours?”

Lupe pauses and thinks. “Well, actually, it would probably take longer than that…”

“Lu.”

“Ok I didn’t think it through, but it’s a good idea! And you’ve got mice, sweetheart.” Lupe crosses her arms and fixes Jess with a look. And Jess knows she’s going to lose this one.

She sighs. “Well, where will Timber go if you bring Tío over to my apartment?” Tío is Lupe’s cat and he’s widely considered to be an asshole, most notably by Lupe herself. He’s an older cat that Lupe rescued off the street after he was injured in a fight, and Jess is pretty sure Lupe lives just as much in terror of him as the rest of them, though Lupe claims the relationship is both mutual and loving.

‘Tío’ is also just a nickname. His real name is Tío Beverly after the grumpy, unyielding sponsor of Jess and Lupe’s neighborhood baseball team and an offhand comment from their teammate Maybelle.

“Geez Lu, he looks like a cross between Bev and your scary uncle.” She means this generally, but Lupe does, in fact, have a scary uncle. “And, well, a cat.” And so his name became Tío Beverly and Lupe never looked back.

(Though they’ve talked about Tío at practice, everyone on the team has casually forgotten to mention his full name to Bev. Jess thinks all Bev would do is snort and chuckle a little, but the others are not convinced.)

“You could take him to mine,” Lupe suggests.

Jess frowns. “I can’t leave him alone,” she says. “He’s sensitive.” Lupe considers this.

“We could both go back to mine and leave Tío here,” she says.

“Tío is not staying at my apartment unsupervised,” Jess says firmly. Jess has never escaped the clutches of Tío without a scratch. In her drawer at Lupe’s she has two shirts, a pair of jeans, some socks, underwear, and a box of band-aids. She steals Lupe’s pajamas though.

Lupe holds her hands up. “Look,” she says, “I just think he could help.”

Jess sighs. It’s not a bad solution, honestly. “No, no, I appreciate it,” she says. She thinks for a second. “I bet Ana would take Timber for a little bit, or maybe Carson.”

Lupe purses her lips. “Mmm but would Greta?” she says. “Ana might be a better bet.”

Jess raises her eyebrows. “Greta said Timber was the best-behaved dog she’d ever met,” she says, “which I take full credit for, but I hear your point. I’ll try Ana first.”

“Great!” Lupe says, trying and failing not to look too pleased.

Jess snorts and stands up, walking towards Lupe. Timber whines, but she just shushes him before placing her hands on Lupe’s hips. “You really wanted to bring your cat here that bad?” she asks, grinning.

Lupe wraps her arms loosely around Jess’ neck. “I just like making sure you’re taken care of, querido.” She smiles her dreamy smile.

And god, how could Jess not blush at that? At that statement? At the -o instead of the -a? For Lupe, Jess would suffer even the world’s worst cat making her apartment its home for a little while. So she smiles back and pulls her a little closer. “I know,” she says, and brings their lips together.

-----

So Jess takes Timber to Ana’s for a few days and Tío moves in.

“Temporarily,” Jess reminds Lupe, because Tío is missing yet another clump of fur and looks like he got in a fight with an electrical socket. Lupe pulls him out of the carrier and he immediately wriggles out of her arms, off like a shot to the underside of Jess’ armchair.

“I know,” Lupe says, trying desperately to catch Tío and failing spectacularly. She wipes her hands on her shirt like she meant to just turn him loose. “This isn’t my backdoor into U-Hauling with you, McCready. If I wanted to do that, I’d keep about half of my clothes here and basically never spend the night at my apartment.” Lupe has approximately half her shirts and a third of her pants at Jess’ apartment. Jess cleaned out two drawers for her. She spends about two nights a week at her own place and the rest curled up in Jess’ bed. It’s casual.

Jess opens her mouth but can’t think of anything to say. Her eyes dart between Lupe’s. Her brow furrows.

Lupe frowns in concern. “Hey, hey, I’m joking,” she says, holding her hands out towards Jess to steady her. “I like my apartment just fine. It’s close to the subway and Tío likes watching the pigeons from the window.”

And. It. Well. Jess wasn’t really worried about that. Or rather, she hadn’t thought it would be soon or anything, but she had just been thinking that week about how nice it was to wake up with Lupe, how she’d have to replace Lupe’s toothbrush soon since she was wearing it out, how convenient it had been since she’d given Lupe a spare set of keys and she could just let herself in if she got to Jess’ before her. Jess isn’t sure she’s ready to offer it, but it would sort of be the dream to live with Lupe.

But she doesn’t say that. Instead, she gawps for another second before managing to get out “Well, we can’t deprive him of the pigeons, can we?”

And Lupe still looks a little concerned, but she chuckles. “Speaking of him, I’m going to try to lure him to the kitchen so he can catch these mice.”

Lupe spends about five minutes trying to lure Tío out from under the chair before giving up and going to set up his litterbox and food. She shakes out a little dry food, then pops the top on a can of wet food. “Since it’s his first night here,” she explains to Jess, “I want him to have positive—” Tío comes trotting into the room, chirping, and winds herself around Lupe’s legs. “—Associations,” Lupe finishes. “Well hello you,” she says to the cat, who is now purring. Jess didn’t know he even knew how to purr.

Lupe reaches down to pet him and Tío takes it for exactly three pets before swiping at her hand and meowing loudly. “Yeah, yeah,” Lupe says, rolling her eyes. She pulls the rest of the top off the wet food and dumps it unceremoniously into the dish. Tío tears in and Jess curls her lip in disgust at the wet smacking sounds. “Hey, he’s doing you a service,” Lupe says, catching her. “You gotta pay him somehow.”

Jess nods. “You got me there.”

-----

Tío catches zero mice that evening, but he does shatter a glass by knocking it off the counter and sharpen his claws on the side of Jess’ couch. Lupe apologizes profusely, especially about the couch, promising to learn how to upholster if she has to. Beyond the initial shock of seeing it, though, it actually isn’t that noticeable, so Jess just tells her to forget it.

That night is hell, even though they keep the cat out of the bedroom, but in the morning, Jess finds a mouse head laid neatly by the bedroom door and figures this may have been worth it. She nearly changes her mind when she finds the body floating in the cat’s water dish, but she flings both pieces off the fire escape into the alley below anyway, then washes her hands and starts to make coffee, eggs, and toast.

Once the smell of coffee starts to fill the apartment, Jess hears Lupe start to stir. “He caught one,” she tells her when she hears Lu trudge into the kitchen.

“Oh yeah?” Lupe asks. She comes up behind Jess and rests her head on Jess’ shoulder, wrapping her arms around her middle. There’s a lazy thrill up Jess’ spine and she smiles as she scrambles the eggs in the pan.

“I’ve got to reach the cheese,” she says softly to Lupe, pointing at the bag of shredded cheese on the counter just out of reach.

Lupe unspools herself from around Jess and leans over, grinning. “Do you?” she asks and slides the bag over.

Jess grins back. “I guess not,” she says. She reaches out to take it and Lupe holds it out of reach again.

“Ah ah ah, gotta pay the toll first.” This close up, the sun is catching on Lupe’s eyelashes. Her eyes are a warm, mahogany brown and she’s looking at Jess with a hooded, teasing expression that electrifies Jess in a way that fights with the way she wants to rise to Lupe’s challenge. So, in compromise, she takes Lupe’s hip in one hand and uses her body to push her against the counter. She kisses her fully, leaving nothing on the table, and doesn’t miss how Lupe’s breath hitches in her throat. Lupe steadies herself against the counter with her free hand and, at the same time, Jess snakes her hand along Lupe’s other arm and pulls the cheese from her grasp. She pulls back and smiles, poking her chin out in victory. She raises her eyebrows, once, then opens the cheese and pulls out a handful, sprinkling it on top of the eggs.

Lupe bursts into a quiet chuckle. “You’re gonna kill me one day, McCready,” she says, smiling. Then she reaches out with a thumb and brushes just beneath Jess’ bottom lip. “Got a little spit there,” she teases.

Jess shrugs. “I mean it’s yours,” she says.

Lupe just rolls her eyes.

She moves away and pulls two earthenware mugs from the mug cabinet. They’re Jess’ two favorite mugs. One is a matte, forest green with an unglazed raised square engraved with pine trees. The other is small, with seven short sides and a circular handle. It is smooth and gray, speckled with black, and very clearly handmade. You have to fill it twice to get a normal amount of coffee, but Jess loves it without equal.

Lupe pours the coffee while Jess finishes up the eggs and puts them on plates. She pulls the toast out of the second, smaller pan and inspects it on both sides. She notes, with pride, that it is perfectly toasted. Lupe likes to tease her for not having a toaster, but how can she argue when it means she gets the perfect slice of toast every time? She puts the toast on the plates as well and brings them to the table.

Lupe sets the coffees down on the table as well, one in front of each chair, and Jess notices that she’s given her the green mug. She gives Lupe a look, quirking an eyebrow and Lupe bites her lip, laughing silently.

“Just thought I’d switch things up a little,” she says, sliding her index finger through the gray mug’s handle and holding it near her chest.

Jess can’t think of anything to say other than “But that’s mine!” It comes out whiny and petulant and Lupe has to stick her tongue in between her lips to keep from laughing out loud.

“Pobrecito,” she says, stepping forward and lightly shaking Jess’ jaw with her free hand. She leans in and plants a kiss on Jess’ lips before leaning back and taking a sip of the coffee. “Plus,” she says after a particularly loud slurp, “I’ve already put my like five sugars into this, so you don’t want it.” Lupe takes her coffee black and very sweet. Jess takes hers with no sugar but a heavy amount of cream. She looks at the green mug and notes with distaste that the coffee is already a light tan.

She shakes her head. “After I made you breakfast and everything.” She catches Lupe’s wrist and pulls her in. Lupe sets the mug down so as not to spill and then comes to Jess with a patient expression, resting her hand on Jess’ waist. “And that perfect toast,” Jess continues, and threads their fingers together, pulling their bodies against each other.

Lupe closes her eyes. “Hmm,” she mumbles against Jess’ lips, “you say it’s perfect, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to try it when you’re picking fights about the coffee mugs.”

Jess ghosts her lips up Lupe’s jaw until they rest on the shell of her ear. “Picking fights,” she asks softly, “or claiming what’s mine?” She takes Lupe’s earlobe in her teeth, gently, and feels a shiver run through her.

“I’m not switching the mugs, McCready,” Lupe says, running her thumb back and forth over Jess’ middle. “Coffee’s already been poured.” Jess bites a little harder on her earlobe and feels Lupe’s hand clench on her hip. “You’re going to let it get cold,” she protests weakly.

As it turns out, the point is moot as Tío leaps up onto the table, displacing Jess’ beautiful gray mug and sending it tumbling to the floor. It breaks into three pieces, the smallest piece with the handle separated from another smaller piece of rim separated from a larger piece holding most of the base. The coffee spills over the floor in a splattering wave.

Tío startles upon hearing the noise and springs straight over the rest of the table and onto the floor, sprinting into the other room to hide.

Jess and Lupe break apart and freeze. They stare at the mug for a full ten seconds before Lupe breathes out “Shit.”

She untangles herself from Jess. “Shit.”

She kneels down and starts picking up the pieces. “Shit, Jess, I’m so sorry.”

And. And well, Jess wasn’t psyched about Tío being here in the first place. She wasn’t psyched about the swipes and the mouse in the water bowl and the meowing at her bedroom door all night. And now this. Her favorite mug on the ground, shattered.

But there’s a set to Lupe’s shoulders that tells Jess she’s feeling this too, like an imposition, and she’s looking steadily at the floor, picking up the pieces, not looking at Jess at all, and Jess…doesn’t have the heart to have a reaction. Doesn’t have the heart to break Lupe’s. So she takes a deep breath and says “It’s ok.” Another breath. “It’s ok.” She moves and puts a hand on Lupe’s shoulder, briefly, then pats it. “It’s just a mug. I’ll get a towel.”

They mop up the mess, Lupe holding the broken pieces in her hands, so gingerly, and when the dark coffee has all been soaked away, Lupe gently sets the pieces down and marches into the living room.

It takes her about 15 minutes of coaxing, chasing, and wildly leaping, but she manages to get Tío into his carrier. Jess watches it happen, unsure of what to do. She wants to be supportive of Lupe, wants to be supportive of Lupe’s cat being here, but she’s not feeling very friendly towards him right now. In the end, she helps by blocking the entrance to the kitchen, supporting Lupe by helping her catch this damn cat, and doesn’t comment about the candles and coasters scattered from her coffee table in the process. Jess doesn’t know what Lupe needs to hear right now, doesn’t know how to be there for Lupe and the cat she loves, but she’s always been good at helping with a task.

Once the carrier door slams shut, Lupe stands up and wipes her nose on her sleeve. There’s something that sounds suspiciously like a sniffle in the mix and she’s staring at the floor, not looking at Jess, and Jess is torn between wanting to respect that space and wanting to take Lupe in her arms.

“Well,” Lupes says, roughly scooping up the carrier in one hand. Tío protests. She starts towards the door, pajamas, no shoes, angry cat, and Jess doesn’t know what to say but she doesn’t want this.

“Lu,” she starts.

“I’ll be back!” Lupe calls, grabbing a jacket from the hook on the wall.

“Lupe, wait,” Jess says, moving towards the door. Lupe is hurriedly shoving her feet in her shoes, holding one jacket sleeve between her teeth and trying to shove her arm through the other one. She gets the shoes on and her arm enough in the sleeve to turn the deadbolt. “Babe,” Jess says, but she’s wrenching the door open, still not looking at Jess, and Jess throws her arm out, slamming the door shut and looking beseechingly into Lupe’s eyes.

Jess is breathing heavily, leaning on her outstretched hand, her very body pleading with Lupe to stay. She takes a deep breath and puts a free hand on Lupe’s shoulder. Lupe still isn’t looking at her, but Jess can see the guilt plain on her features, along with a touch of sadness. She’s… Jess realizes she’s misty eyed and feels a jolt of alarm.

“Lu,” she says, cupping her face. Lupe stands stock still, but her mouth pinches closed and Jess can see her shoulders go tight. Jess breathes out, empathy flooding through her, and puts her hands on both shoulders. “Babe,” she says, and Lupe’s shoulders give an involuntary shake. “Babe,” she says again, and pulls Lupe in.

Lupe’s shoulders shake and Jess can feel tears on her own shoulders. She rubs her hands up and down Lupe’s back. Lupe snakes her free arm around Jess’ waist and just lets Jess hold her.

They stay like that, this moment in the entryway, until Tío lets out another yowl and jerks the carrier in Lupe’s hand.

“I’m going to drop him down the fucking stairs,” Lupe growls from Jess’ shoulder.

“No, no, you’re not,” Jess says, and reaches back to take the carrier out of Lupe’s hand, setting it gently on the floor. She stands back up and takes Lupe’s face in her hands, leaning back far enough that she can look into her eyes. “I’m going to cover this with a blanket, and then I’m going to pour you another cup of coffee and we can talk about this, ok?”

Lupe nods wetly, looking tired and vulnerable, and Jess doesn’t want to leave her side for a minute, but she makes good on her word. She leads Lupe to the couch, pulls a blanket out of the basket, and brings it back to cover up the carrier. Tío hisses at her. She ignores him.

She checks on Lupe on her way back to the kitchen, finding her watching her silently. “I’ll be right back,” she says, and heads into the kitchen. She pulls another mug out of the cabinet, this one a standard shape and white, with an assortment of native plants of Saskatchewan printed on it, and fills it with coffee. There’s just enough left in the press to almost fill the mug. Jess puts five sugars in (Jesus, Lupe), stirs, and grabs her own mug to bring to the coffee table.

When she gets back, she finds Lupe picking up the coasters and setting them back on the table. She hands her her coffee, then sets hers on one of the coasters. “Do you want your breakfast?” she asks, and Lupe pauses, then nods.

“I can get it,” she says, standing, but Jess puts her hand firmly on her shoulder.

“No, you sit, I’ll do it.”

She’s back in seconds and hands Lupe her plate before sitting down cross-legged on the couch.

“So, what’s wrong?” she asks Lupe.

Lupe snorts and looks away. “My cat’s an asshole,” she says.

Jess laughs. “I mean, we knew that going in. I knew that going in.” She lifts her plate up so she can prod Lupe with her foot. Lupe gives a short laugh, but her brow furrows. “I’m serious, Lu, I meant it. It’s just a mug.”

Lupe takes in a breath, holds it. She’s staring at the door. “It’s not, though,” she lets out, finally.

Jess frowns. The phrase puts a little jolt through her heart, but she wracks her brains, looking for any sign that Lupe is breaking up with her, and can’t find any, so she forces herself to be calm. “Meaning?” she asks.

Lupe’s quiet for another moment, then says “I mean, I really like you. I like everything about you. I like the things we do together, I like that we do things apart, I can see us doing this for, well, a lot longer than this…” she takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly, “…and the only barrier I can see to that is this damn cat.” She looks quickly at Jess, coloring slightly. “And like the fact that we’ve only been dating for six months and I don’t know how you feel about all that and like. I don’t want to cramp your style or anything.” She takes, frankly, a huge bite of her toast and washes it down with coffee.

There is a lot Jess wants to say to this, but there’s also a smile creeping onto her face so she says what’s on her mind first. “So,” she says, “this is your backdoor into U-Hauling with me,” and she watches as Lupe splutters.

“Oh god, no! No, Jess, I promise, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable or like rush this or anything!” Her face is so red, Jess wonders idly if she could fry an egg on it. “I just,” she reaches for Jess’s hands and Jess lets her take them, “I really like you and I don’t want to fuck this up. Or have my dumbass cat fuck this up.” She swallows and looks away. “I’m sorry about your mug.”

And god if Jess isn’t just fully in love with this person. If she doesn’t want to kiss her senseless and say yes, she wants this too. If she doesn’t want to frisbee the eggs across the room and fuck her on the couch right now. So, she takes a breath. She reaches up a hand and fiddles with Lu’s necklace, leaning her head in close. “You’re not fucking this up,” she says quietly, and it’s suddenly very hard to meet Lupe’s eyes. “Your cat isn’t either. And I loved that mug, but it was just a thing, Lu.” She does look up here and finds Lupe watching her hand on her necklace, almost transfixed, and it’s so… God, Jess doesn’t know what, but she drops the necklace and reaches up to cup her face, then draws their lips together.

It's a charged kiss. A slow, but desperate kiss. Not desperate like they’re scared they’ll lose each other, desperate in the way of wanting to tell the other something, show the other something, and fuck if Jess is going to try and tell her any other way.

A jostling on her legs reminds her of the plate in her lap and she breaks off, briefly, to move the dishes to the table, then pulls Lupe onto her lap.

The kiss that follows sears her to her core and she reaches up to fist a hand in Lupe’s curls. Lupe moans. Jess takes the opportunity to move her lips to Lupe’s neck and hears Lupe’s breath catch in her throat, hears her gasp as Jess sucks hard at her neck, then soothes the spot with her tongue.

They’re working fast now, Lupe’s hands are on her back, on her hips, in her hair, and Jess reaches her hands under Lupe’s shirt to palm a breast, feeling her nipple harden.

Lupe tries to do the same to her, is pulling on the hem of her shirt, but Jess takes a moment to gently push her hands away and pulls back slightly to shake her head. “This is all you, babe,” she says.

The look Lupe gives her…devastating. She’s all blown pupils and kiss-swollen lips and an expression like she understands exactly what Jess is trying to say. And she nods. And she lets Jess lay her down on the couch. And Jess has never seen a more beautiful woman in all her life.

Jess pulls her shirt up and Lupe has to sit up a little to take it off (poor planning on Jess’ part), but once it’s off, Lupe lays there in all her glory, hair haloing her face, and Jess holds her gaze and she leans down and takes a nipple in her mouth.

Lupe takes a shuddering breath, then shuts her eyes and fists a hand in her own hair. Jess’ tongue works at the nipple and Lupe’s breaths come faster, faster, her eyes fluttering closed, then back open to watch. Jess grins, then takes her mouth away by a few centimeters.

“What,” Lupe breathes, irate, “the fuck—”

And then Jess comes back with teeth and there are no more words out of Lupe’s mouth.

Jess’ teeth graze her nipple, then her tongue, and then her hand comes up to Lupe’s hip, her thumb stroking deep over the bone, and Lupe’s mouth opens in a silent ‘O.’

Jess watches her, drinking it in, not sure if she could ever stop watching her, relishing in her reactions as her thumb strokes her hipbone over and over.

“Jess,” Lupe gasps out, “McCready I swear to god…”

Jess pauses her tongue politely and looks up, smiling innocently. “You swear to god what?” she says.

The look Lupe gives her would kill a lesser man.

“If you don’t move your hand and do something about this,” Lupe gestures to herself, “in the next ten seconds…”

Jess grins. “Something like this?” she says, and tugs Lupe’s waistband down an inch, moving her other hand to Lupe’s other hip and repeating the same ministrations as her first hand.

“McCready!” Lupe spits out, and Jess chuckles, softly, before she begins the slow, agonizing journey of pulling Lupe’s pants off her ass, then over her thighs, then entirely off and into a heap on the ground.

“Missed something,” Lupe says irritably, snapping the waistband of her underwear, and Jess just laughs, lifting herself onto her elbow to kiss Lupe.

“So demanding,” she says, and runs one finger over the outside of Lupe’s underwear. Lupe whimpers, before hiding her face in the couch cushions.

“God, Jess, please,” she says, and Jess knows she’s frowning. “This is fucking embarrassing.” Jess just laughs and runs her finger over her underwear again, pressing harder this time. Lupe gasps. “I swear to god, you goddamn—”

Jess pushes down hard on where she knows Lupe’s clit is and Lupe moans into the couch cushions. Jess pulls her underwear aside and slides a finger down Lupe’s folds, marveling at the slickness she finds there. She brings her mouth back to the side of Lupe’s breast and runs her finger up and down the first layer, feeling Lupe’s breath hitch each time she approaches her clit and hearing her exhale each time she nears her entrance.

“I— Fuck. Holy— Jesus Jess, shit!”

As Lupe’s breaths quicken and her hips start to buck into her, Jess uses her free hand to draw Lupe’s mouth to hers, then thrusts her middle finger inside, swallowing her moan.

It’s quick after this. Jess thrusts her finger in over and over, slipping another in when Lupe clutches at her back, and just at the climax, she brings her other hand down to thumb over her clit. Lupe clenches down over her hand in waves, her breaths coming out in sighs, and she pulls Jess to her and kisses her, hard.

“You,” she breathes out. “You fucking angel. You beautiful thing.” And Jess, suddenly overwhelmed, breaks down and bursts into fucking tears.

-----

“God, who are you, Jenny from The L Word?” Jo asks over a cigarette in the alley behind Jess’ building. Jess shoves her.

“It just happened, ok?” she says, and Jo laughs, stumbling out of arm’s reach. “I just, she was being so sweet and we were, like, together, and I just.” She trails off.

“Let loose the waterworks?” Jo dances even further out of Jess’ reach as Jess rolls her eyes.

“Yeah I guess,” she says, and puts her head in her hand.

Jo slides back in and puts an arm over her shoulder. “Hey buddy, don’t get so down! It just means that you’re a little Cancer baby, this is normal!”

Jess rolls her eyes. “So you tell me, you fucking Leo,” she says, but she leans into the hug.

Jo giggles at her expression. “What, did she laugh at you or something?” She leans forward to look Jess in the eye. “I’ll fight her, Jess. Striker ain’t got nothing on the Bazooka, I’m tellin’ ya.” She flexes and kisses her bicep.

Jess laughs. “Sure, keep telling yourself that,” she tells Jo.

Jo spreads her arm in protest. “She’s a matchstick!”

Jess just laughs and stubs out her cigarette.

It’s comfortable on the elevator ride back up to the apartment. Jo is a solid presence, calming in her surety, the ease of her stance. She fills the space with chatter about her job, about Greta, about Maybelle and her girls, and Jess sinks into the chatter, absorbing it.

When they get to her floor, Jess leads Jo down the hall and unlocks her door, pausing before opening it to make sure Tío doesn’t try to escape. The door clear, she lets Jo in.

The dishes are still on the coffee table where they had left them earlier and Jess notes with sadness her untouched toast. It seems a shame to waste it, but it’s even worse to eat stale toast, so Jess scoops up the plates and brings them to the sink.

“So where is the bastard?” Jo asks, and as if on cue, Jess hears a hiss. “Whoa,” Jo says, and Jess peeks around the corner to see Jo backing away from her armchair, arms raised.  

“You found him,” Jess says, as Tío, under the chair, swipes at the air.

“Jesus, he is MEAN,” Jo says, crouching down to look at him. She takes hold of a book on the coffee table, some romance Lupe left there, and slowly moves it towards Tío. He swipes at it, hisses, but the book just keeps coming. Eventually, confused, he gives a little peep and turns around, trotting quickly to the kitchen.

Jess laughs. “You outfoxed him,” she says to Jo, but Jo is frowning.

“You know he’s limping?” she asks.

Jess frowns back. “What?”

Jo points. “He’s limping,” she says, and stands up to follow him.

Jess whips her head around to watch the cat. He’s standing at the water bowl, taking a drink, so it’s impossible to tell, but she crosses the room to him and he looks up and walks away as she approaches.

“Son of a bitch,” Jess says under her breath. Jo’s right. Ever so slightly, Tío is favoring left front leg. “Holy shit…”

“Yeah, right there,” Jo says, pointing again. Now that she’s pointed it out, Jess can see it clearly. “Was he not doing that earlier?”

Jess wracks her brains and comes up empty. “No, I don’t think so,” she says. “But I don’t know! I didn’t notice it until you said something!” Her breath is coming shallowly. She prays to any god who will listen that this doesn’t get back to her Uncle Chester in Saskatchewan, who’d taken her on hunting trips since she was a child, that a wounded animal lived in her apartment and she didn’t notice it. God, Lupe probably doesn’t know either.

Jess takes a breath, then clears her throat. “Ok, well let’s catch him then.”

Jo looks at her askance. “Why?”

“We gotta take him to the vet,” she says. Jo opens her mouth to say something and Jess rolls her eyes. “I have to take him to the vet,” she says.

Jo nods. “I have to get to Greta’s by five, but I’ll help make sure this guy doesn’t kill anyone on the subway, at least for part of the ride.” Jess nods. It’s more than she would have asked from Jo, so she’ll take it. Jo wipes her hands on her pants. “So,” she says, “how do we catch him?”

Jess thinks for a minute. “I don’t know,” she admits finally. “Lupe kinda,” she mimes with her hands, “dove and caught him earlier, but I think that was mostly luck.”

Jo nods. “Does he like anything?”

No, Jess wants to say, suffering, pain, but then she remembers something from earlier. “Wet food!” she says, remembering how Tío had wound himself around Lupe, purring as she opened the can.

Jo wrinkles her nose. “Gross.”

“He’s a cat, Jo,” Jess says, then crosses to the paper bag Lupe had brought with Tío’s things. Sure enough, inside is another can of wet food. “Come on,” she says, and walks over to his carrier in the living room.

She kneels down next to it and holds the can up, then pops the lid, peeling it back. Just like before, Tío comes trotting into the room, chirping, and walks right up to the can, trying to figure out how to get it without interacting with Jess. Jess hesitates.

“What are you doing?” Jo asks. “Put the can in there!” She gestures at the carrier.

“I don’t want him to cut himself on the rim,” Jess says.

“Then you could just dump it in there.”

Jess pulls a face. “Gross,” she says.

Jo shrugs. “Do you want to catch this thing or not?”

Jess sighs, then nods. “I do, I do.” Quickly, she shoves her hand into the carrier and dumps the wet food onto the floor, tapping it a few times to get everything out. Tío is in the carrier faster than she can get her hand out and as soon as her fingers are free, she slams the door shut and latches it.

Tío yowls inside, thrashing around and, Jess notes with a twinge of guilt, getting wet food all over his fur, but he’s been caught.

“You don’t want to wait for Lupe for this?” Jo asks, eyeing the jerking carrier, and Jess shakes her head.

“No, she’s helping Esti pick up a new chair for her apartment today.” Jess had wanted to go too, but she had already made plans with Jo today when Esti asked. “The vet will be closed by the time she gets back.”

Jo cocks her head to the side, nodding. “Fair point.”

So the two of them put on their shoes, grab the cat carrier, and make their way to the closest vet.

-----

Hours later, Jess drags a drugged-up Tío back into her apartment and finds Lupe sitting on the couch, arms crossed. “So I get back from moving this chair with Esti on the subway and find that my cat is missing?” she says. Jess has learned from experience that, even though it sounds like a question, it isn’t.

Jess gingerly steps inside and closes the door before responding. “Look,” she starts, but Lupe is already up off the couch and crouching in front of the carrier.

“Oh my god, what did you do to him?” she asks, alarm spiking in her voice.

“Nothing!” Jess says. Lupe’s hands are fumbling on the latch of the carrier and before Jess can stop her, she’s got the door open and is reaching in. Jess hears a yowl from within and Lupe pulls her hand out, a bright red mark on her thumb. Jess sets the carrier down, a little unceremoniously, and holds Lupe’s shoulders to keep her from hurting herself further. “Lu,” she says, “hold on.” She looks her in the eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“With my cat? I have to say you’re on pretty thin ice with that one right now, McCready.”

Jess nods, that’s fair. “Ok, but in general?” she asks.

“What did you do to my cat, Jess?” Lupe asks, and her words are a brick wall, but Jess can hear the desperation behind them.

Jess wants to pull her into her arms, but instead, she says “I took him to the vet.”

Lupe is suddenly alarmed again, shrugging Jess’ arms off her and leaning around to see into the carrier. “Oh my god, is he ok?” She leans in close. “Tío?” she asks, as if he can answer her.

“He’s fine!” Jess says, turning to follow her. Her legs are all pretzeled up beneath her, but there’s too much going on to sort them out. “Jo noticed he was limping, so I took him in.” She swallows. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice, Lu, I’m so sorry.”

Lupe is not soothed by this news. “Did he hurt himself? Why was he limping?”

Jess shakes her head. “No, he was only limping slightly. I don’t really know how Jo even noticed it. We, um, we took him to the vet though, and got him an x-ray, and the vet said that he had an old fracture on his left front leg that hadn’t healed properly.” She looks at Lupe, softly, pointedly. “I wonder if he injured that leg in the fight. You know, when you took him in?”

Lupe’s still for a moment, then nods slowly, taking it in. “Yeah, that, or even before that fight,” she says. She rocks back on her heels, finally thinking. “You took him to the vet?” she asks.

Jess nods.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Lupe says. “I could have taken him when I got back.” She snorts. “Hell, I was only gone a couple of hours.” She smiles at Jess, then her eyes widen. “Wait, shit, x-rays are expensive!” she says. “Shit, how much do I owe you?”

And here’s the thing. Here’s where the rationale breaks down. This was a big spending item for a pet that was not hers, about $400 when everything was added up, but also, Jess can’t fully bring herself to care? Tío is a pain in the ass, but Lupe cares about him and Jess feels bad that Lupe felt like Tío wasn’t welcome in her apartment.

And, well, there’s the whole “she’s is in love with her” thing, even if she hasn’t said it.

So Jess just shrugs, inspects her fingernails (bad, they need to be cleaned), and chews her lip for a moment before saying “Oh, you know, a hundred bucks.”

Lupe snorts. “Yeah, sure, McCready.”

“I know, it was weird,” Jess says, fanning her nails out. “The vet said I got a discount for being the coolest person he’d ever seen.” This doesn’t pull a laugh from Lupe and Jess finally looks up.

Lupe is looking at her with an expression Jess hasn’t seen before. She looks… Desperate, Jess realizes. Desperate and a little lost. Jess freezes. “It’s fine,” she says before Lupe can open her mouth. “Seriously, it’s fine, don’t—”

“Jess,” Lupe says, and her voice breaks a little. She clears her throat. “Jess, I can’t ask you to foot my vet bill.”

Jess studies her for a second, then goes back to checking her cuticles, though she’s sure she’s fully broken the illusion by now. “It’s fine,” she says. “Seriously, I can handle part of it.” She looks up. “I want to.” The look Lupe gives her? Devastating. She pushes past it though and says her next part. “The vet says it’s treatable too. They can’t reset the bone or anything, but you can alternate some pain meds and it’ll help with the pain.” She looks back down, unable to look at Lupe and say the next part. “Which,” she starts, “is why I want to pay for this visit, or at least part of it, because I did the math and if you want to treat him it’ll cost you about one-fifty a month.” She bites her lip and looks back up. “So, I want to help you out on this visit because like, I sprang this on you, I just took him, and it’ll cost you more in the long run so just let me get this. You can give me a hundred bucks and like get the pizza the next time or two and we’ll call it square.”

Lupe looks at her for a moment longer, then looks down and says “I…can’t decide if I’m going to kill you or marry you one day.” Heat rises in Jess’ cheeks, but before she can panic Lupe looks up and points. “I’m leaning towards kill right now, so we’re clear. You took my cat somewhere without telling me? You brought him back all fucked up like that and you didn’t even think to text me about it?” Jess looks down, cheeks pinking for an entirely different reason. “But, y’know,” Lupe continues, a little sheepish, “you also took care of him when you noticed he was in pain. Without asking. So like, I’m not entirely mad about it.”

Jess looks up a little, just meeting Lupe’s eyes. They both look at each other for a moment, searching, waiting, until Lupe closes her eyes and laughs. “God, you’re so stupid,” she says, then looks up, grinning. Jess can tell she doesn’t really mean it, but she’d take it if she did. Lupe shakes her head, then gestures towards herself. “Get over here,” she says, and sits back until she’s cross-legged on the ground. Jess finally un-pretzels her legs and, well, essentially crawls over to Lupe, who draws her into a tight hug.

The positioning is awkward, but the feeling behind the hug is genuine as Lupe buries her face in Jess’ shoulder and breathes in deep. They stay like that long enough that Jess feels her body relax and she all but melts into Lupe. She lets go of tension she didn’t know she was holding and feels, finally, at peace.

“Um” she says, releasing something she thought she was over at this point, “thanks for not, like, laughing when I cried earlier.”

And Lupe laughs at that, but it isn’t mean or cruel. She pulls back and cups her hands around Jess’ face. “Aww, babe, have you been worrying about that?” She brushes Jess’ cheeks lightly with her thumbs and Jess feels her face heat up.

“I—” she starts, then looks away. “Maybe.”

Lupe laughs again, softly, and then gently pulls Jess’ lips to hers. “Nothing to worry about. Thank you for taking care of my cat,” she says, and presses a chaste kiss there.

She pulls back and Jess looks into her eyes, then blinks and looks down at her lips. She’s…god she’s at a loss for words. All she can think is how stupidly, irrevocably in love she is and all she can say is…nothing. The words simply don’t come out. So, she pushes past her beating heart and simply leans in for another kiss, capturing Lupe’s lips with own.

It’s different from earlier, less confidence, less raw passion, but the feeling… She can’t tell Lupe how she feels, the strength of her feeling, but she can do this.

She kisses Lupe like she’s running out of air, trying to pour all she can into this moment, to say it without saying it, and she thinks it works, because Lupe, finally, pulls back and watches her, breathing heavily, her lips parted. And then Lupe smiles.

“If you’re trying to fuck me again, McCready, my only request is that we do it on a bed this time.”

And Jess just rolls her eyes and laughs.

-----

The bar is crowded when they arrive and buzzing with voices and laughter. Lupe drops Jess’ hand to open the door for her and Jess takes the opportunity to pull her guitar lengthwise against her body to avoid hitting people with it.

They make their way through the crowded first room, up the ramp, and to the second room with the stage. Jess finds the open mic sign-up table by the wall and joins the line while Lupe goes off to find them a few seats together.

Jess hears a shriek behind her and has just enough time to lean her guitar against the wall before she catches Esti in her arms, moving them just far enough away from the line to swing her around in a circle. “Hey kid!” she says, grinning.

Esti beams at her. “Hello Jess!” she says. She bounces away from her embrace and holds out a small gift bag. “This is from Lupe,” she says, then thinks better of it and takes it back. “Or, I should give to her…” she says, thinking.

Lupe walks up just then and rolls her eyes. “Great job keeping the surprise, kid,” she mutters.

Esti hands the gift bag over and says “Lo siento!” She puts her hands up and grimaces.

Jess reaches over and rubs her shoulder blade. “I’m sure it’s alright,” she tells her, then turns to Lupe. “What is it though? You didn’t have to get me anything.”

Lupe looks nervous, starts to reach into the bag, and then pulls her hand out and hands it to Jess. “You can just open it,” she says. “And I did, kinda, I— Well, you’ll see when you open it.”

Jess takes the bag curiously and reaches inside. She pulls out the tissue paper at the top and peers in and—

Oh.

Inside is a mug. It’s blue, handmade, and the glaze has melted into these little rivulets of lighter and darker blue, almost like little paisleys. The handle is slim, with a little piece on top to rest your thumb, and the form is wider in the middle and then tapered smaller near the base, almost like a vase. It’s beautiful.

She reaches in and picks it up, finding it to be light, but still solid-feeling. She looks at Lupe and sticks her tongue in her cheek to suppress the smile curling onto her face.

“I, I felt bad about breaking your mug the other day,” Lupe says, “or, well, about Tío breaking your mug, so I dragged Esti to a pottery place after we moved the chair.”

“¡Y luego lo olvidó en mi casa!” Esti says gleefully.

Jess looks to Lupe, not having caught every word and Lupe dips her head and says “She says I forgot it at her place, which I did.” She elbows Esti. “Eres muy mala guardando secretos, ¿eh?” She turns to Jess. “Bad at secrets,” she says. Esti rolls her eyes.

Lupe and Esti go off to hold down the table Lupe found and Jess grabs her guitar off the wall and moves up in line. She’d been debating what to play tonight on the way over, refusing to tell Lupe the options she was thinking about. One of the songs, The Indigo Girls’ “Galileo,” was a safe choice, classic, but it wasn’t really what she wanted to play tonight. The person at the head of the line moves on and Jess steps forward, picking up the pen and writing “Jess McCready, guitar,” on the line. She sets the pen down and picks up her guitar, heading back to the table.

Lupe’s hair catches the low light in the bar, accentuating her curls, and for a second, Jess can’t catch her breath. Yes, she’s going with the riskier choice tonight. It might be sappy, but if she can’t say it yet to Lupe, then maybe she can sing it and it would get still her message across.

She sits down in the third chair of their little table and Lupe slides a beer her way. Jess smiles. “Thanks hon,” she says, and squeezes her hand briefly before taking the beer.

The host of the open-mic gets up on stage soon after, panders to the crowd, and then introduces the first act. It’s one of the regulars at this open-mic. He pulls out a ukulele and starts strumming and Jess chuckles. He’s not Jess’ favorite act, but she appreciates his dedication.

Lu’s hand slips into hers during the third ask and Jess takes it appreciatively. She leans in. “I just realized I never thanked you for the mug.”

Lupe blushes. “You don’t have to, I’m replacing something that was broken.”

“Yeah,” Jess says, “but it’s beautiful.” She kisses Lupe’s cheek and Lupe leans into it. “Thank you,” she says.

There’s a quiet whoop from behind them and they glance back see Esti grinning at them. Lupe rolls her eyes and reaches back to bat Esti away, but Jess chuckles, reaching over Lupe to squeeze Esti’s hand.

Finally, a little while later, it’s Jess’ turn to play. The MC calls her up to the stage and vamps while she sets up. She slips the strap of her guitar over her head and plugs it into the amp, giving it an experimental strum. She’d tuned it earlier while waiting for the show to start, so now there’s nothing left to do but put the capo on and start talking.

“This song,” she begins, and has to swallow. “This song,” she tries again, “is one I haven’t played in a while. I was actually going to play some Indigo Girls tonight, but over the past few days, I…” She won’t air her laundry, clean or dirty, on the stage in a bar, won’t give too much away. “…I felt it was time to pull this one back out.” She reaches up, unclips her capo from the end of her guitar, and slides it onto the second fret, then strums it again. “So, here goes,” she says. She finds Lupe’s eyes in the crowd and her lips quirk up. “Sometimes The Indigo Girls won’t cut it and you have to play a little Brandi.”

Lupe chuckles with the rest of the crowd, but Jess sees it die on her lips as she arpeggios the opening chords. She lets the last one linger, takes a deep breath, and starts to sing.

“All of these lines across my face,” she sings, and a mild cheer goes through the audience as they recognize “The Story.” She laughs into her next line and keeps singing.

“Tell you the story of who I am,

So many stories of where I’ve been,

And how I got to where I am.”

She opens her eyes and finds Lupe watching her, a softness come over her features. She almost can’t look at her for the next part, but lets herself fall into the music, holding her gaze.

“Oh, but these stories don’t mean anything

If you’ve got no one to tell them to,

It’s true…”

Jess finds she does have to close her eyes to get the last part out, but she thinks it’s alright. She thinks Lupe will still get the message even if she can’t look at her.

“…I was made for you.”

She’s able to get through the rest of the song with no problems. She kicks it up a notch on the second verse to the cheers of the crowd, looking at Lupe for “You made me feel like a million bucks.” Lupe laughs and Esti leans forward, shaking her shoulder. Jess has to look away from the ensuing argument to keep from laughing and keeps playing.

She finishes the song, taking the energy back down, and finds that, once again, she can’t look Lupe in the eyes as she sings the last line, so she closes her eyes and lifts her head, crooning out the last “Well it’s true that I was made for you!”

The bar erupts in applause as the last notes drift through the air, but Jess only has eyes for Lupe as she opens her eyes. It’s dark, the bar dims the house lights during the show, but Jess could swear that Lupe’s cheeks are red. The feeling swells up within her and she makes herself look anywhere else as she smiles and begins unplugging her guitar.

“Thank you, thank you,” she says and slips the strap from over her head, holding it by the neck as she maneuvers her way off stage and back to her seat.

When she gets back to the table, Lupe is just looking at her, a smile on her face.

Esti leans over the table and shakes Jess’ arm. “So good!” she whisper-shouts. “You made this one,” she pulls her hands back and mimes crying, using her fingers to show tears running down her face.

Lupe gives her a look. “I did not cry!” she says. She turns to Jess. “I didn’t.”

Jess laughs. “I know, I was watching you guys,” she says.

Lupe nods, her cheeks coloring a little more. “Good, good, yeah,” she says. “Wouldn’t want my reputation to be ruined by a half-pint ball player who can’t move her own chair into her apartment.” She turns to Esti and translates into Spanish. Esti scoffs and sits back, crossing her arms. Lupe laughs, leaning her head on the back of her chair, then turns back to Jess. “You did really good up there though,” she says softly, and pulls her in by her shirt collar for a kiss.

Jess smiles into it. “Thanks,” she says when they pull back, bringing a hand up to briefly cup Lupe’s face. Then, she pulls away and points to her guitar, kneeling down and opening her case. She puts the guitar away, laying it gently back to rest, and closes her case with a snap. She smiles at Lupe as she gets back up, raising her eyebrows and slipping into her seat just as the next act begins. She hears Lupe chuckle next to her, feels her place a hand on her thigh.

And as her hand settles into place, Jess thinks about how true those words at the end of “The Story” are. It’s early, she doesn’t want to jinx anything, but she has honestly never felt so comfortable, so seen, with anyone before now. It scares her a little, but there’s also this certainty to it, this feeling of rightness. She takes her hand. Yeah, she figures, if she’s made for anyone in this world, it might as well be Lupe.

She squeezes her hand and Lupe squeezes back.

#aloto #a league of their own #jess mccready #lupe garcia #jesslupe #jelupe #apparently lol #esti gonzalez #jo deluca #my fanfiction #god this was supposed to be less than 2000 words and instead it's 9000 #*obligatory 'it's over 9000'*

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Ride the Cyclone Kids Playing Overwatch (again)

the thrilling sequel to this

After some time, Noel decides to pick Cassidy, Bastion, and Mercy as his mains! His aim is still garbage, but at least he isn’t switching characters every single time he dies.

Cassidy is a bit tricky for him because of the aim thing, but Cassidy is a pretty-looking man, so he likes him.

Bastion’s turret form is the way he gets the most kills. He’s such an annoying player that will just MELT through the other team’s defenses.

And then he healbots as Mercy lmao

What can he say? He likes the bimbo!

Oh, he also tries his hand at Lifeweaver from time to time!

But then… The Incident happened…

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! He saw that Ricky was low on health and surrounded by the enemy team, so he Life Gripped him to get him out of harm’s way!

Right as Ricky used his ult.

Instead of Wrecking Ball’s mines deploying all around the enemy team and blowing up, they deploy where absolutely no one is fighting, effectively wasting the ult.

Ricky just kinda stared at Noel. Noel was getting leered at by a hamster.

Noel: i’m so sorry

Not seen: Mischa and Penny laughing their asses off

Ocean, coming back by from spawn: why are Ricky’s mines where no one is??

Noel: I DIDNT MEAN TO

Ricky assured him that it was fine, though! Accidents happen! He wasn’t mad!

Another advancement! Ocean picks up Brigitte as her main!

She still loves Tracer, and she still plays her all the time, but Brigitte doesn’t require aiming because she uses a flail. So she just presses down on the primary attack button and Does Not Stop.

Constance also picks up Ana! She likes playing her a lot!

Penny likes to go invisible and spam “Boop” around the enemy team. It’s so funny to watch them spin in a circle to try and find where she is.

The MINUTE someone says ANYTHING toxic, Penny and Mischa are targeting them and them alone.

The other team is lucky that Mischa plays on console because if he had access to a keyboard, he would be BRUTAL in the game chat

Only if the other team is toxic, though

You know who DOES have access to a keyboard, though?

Ricky

So the others tell Ricky to type stuff for them

Also Ocean!

Cause she plays on her laptop because never in a million years would her parents buy her a console

So she also types stuff

Or sometimes they’ll hear the aggressive clicking of a joystick as Penny writes a message out on the Xbox keyboard

After a game, Penny has exactly fifteen seconds to try and type out the world’s most vile roast with her Xbox controller

Constance, an Ana, watching a nanobladed Genji hurtle toward her with the speed and strength of a collapsing star (she missed her sleep dart, there’s nothing she can do to save herself now)

Ricky, a Wrecking Ball, watching Constance get sliced to pieces by a nanoed Genji that’s going at 363kph after missing her sleep dart (he knows he’s next)

Penny, a Sombra, sprinting across the map, shouting “I’LL HACK HIM, I’LL HACK HIM!” (she gets killed the moment she gets there)

Noel, a Mercy, thinking it’s a good idea to try and rez Constance when the nanoed Genji is 0.6 inches away from him (the sword is put straight through his throat)

Mischa, a Winston, watching in horror as all of his friends are slaughtered in cold blood (he had died 4 seconds by the enemy D.Va before all hell broke loose and could only helplessly spectate the massacre)

Ocean, a Tracer, jumping off the edge of the map to keep the enemies from getting a team kill

The amount of times both teams have seen Ocean Blink off of a map as Tracer

And more than half the time, when she tries to throw her Pulse Bomb, she ends up getting caught in the blast and dying

Ocean: why does my OWN BOMB hurt me??

Ricky: you’re not ready to hear what real bombs do

Everyone hates push, which is fair, because push fucking SUCKS

ESPECIALLY COLOSSEO

FUCK COLOSSEO

ALL MY HOMIES HATE COLOSSEO

Noel doesn’t know how to use Deadeye At All

Like, Mischa will flip through the POVs after dying, watching his friends fighting for their lives, and then this dummy is prowling around in some random hallway with a tumbleweed clipping into Cassidy’s foot, absolutely nowhere near any enemies

Noel: i don’t know what i’m doing

Mischa: i can tell

Constance gets possessed by some kind of bloodlust when she faces another Orisa in a match

She doesn’t know what comes over her, but she’s always beefing with the other horse

Ricky: where is Constance??

Constance, in some random building, fighting for dominance against another Orisa:

One time Ocean accidentally said she “unshelled” a D.Va, and the gang has been saying that since then whenever D.Va’s mech breaks

Penny is the CEO of yelling “GET THE BABY” whenever D.Va’s out of her mech

Ocean gets lost on the maps So Easily

Mischa, spectating Ocean after dying: Ocean, where the fuck are you going??

Ocean, somehow at the enemy spawn instead of the payload: I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM

Ocean is the designated “payload princess”

While everyone else is off fighting for their lives, she’s sitting on the payload while the other team is distracted

*In Blizzard World, on defense*

Noel, guarding the point, watching Ocean, who is also guarding the point, hide behind a wooden post that is definitely not big enough to conceal Tracer’s body: you look awful

Ocean, crouching on these hay bales that are on the point: how do i look now?

Noel: fucking stupid 😭

Also as the exact opposite of Constance: Ocean HATES fighting other Tracer’s

And they’re SO HARD TO HIT

And they’re usually way better than she is 😅

Ramattra used his ult one time, and Ricky and Penny IMMEDIATELY reversed right back into spawn

When the opposite team ults, the general reaction is either A) “SCATTER” or B) “HIDE”

Whenever they hear “FIRE IN THE HOLE,” Mischa is instantly like “SPREAD OUT SPREAD OUT”

“It’s high noon” they are hiding behind the closest object and staying there

When D.Ava ults, Ocean uses ALL of her Blinks as Tracer trying to flee the general area

Most of the time, she hits a wall and just accept her fate 😭

They once got matched against someone they already played with three times, and that bitch LEFT

That one time Ocean, as Tracer, snuck around the Entire Team in Eichenwalde and captured the point with no interference because they were all distracted with everyone else

One of her best moments

They got our asses handed to them after that, but that’s not the point

Constance: they got a Widowmaker!

Noel, immediately getting sniped: i know

“Revoke gay rights” -Mischa, being killed by a Tracer

“God, please put your balls on me” -Penny, trying to get healing from Constance, who was playing Zenyatta

“We’re gonna have to gaze into her hole so many times” -Ocean, having misheard what Moira says during her ult

#ride the cyclone headcanons #ride the cyclone #rtc #ocean o'connell rosenberg #constance blackwood #ricky potts #noel gruber #mischa bachinski #penny lamb #jane doe