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starwarsbutmakeitgay · 2 years

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Anakin: Are you calling me stupid?

Padme: I'd never call you stupid

Anakin: Good.

Padme: I'd never call you smart either.

Anakin: >:0

#padme and anakin #anakin is a walking disaster #star wars characters #sw fandom #padme my queen #star wars incorrect quotes #sw incorrect quotes #anakin skywalker #star wars #sw #star wars fandom #padme naberrie #queen padme #anidala #anakin x padme

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lavandulacosmos · 2 years

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Inktober Day 13: KIND

Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano

Padawan Skywalker is chaperoning the Gathering because he lost his lightsaber again to amuse Yoda and meets Ahsoka for the first time.

[Star Wars days - Part 3]

#art #inktober #inktober2022 #star wars #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #snips and skyguy #kind #padawan anakin #because he is a walking disaster #and ahsoka finds him cool #much to yoda's amusement #star wars fanart #myart #starwarsdays

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aspenstarflare · 9 months

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[Ahsoka and Anakin sitting at a table in the mess hall together both very tired, after a campaign]

Anakin finally speaking up in concerned father mode: How many hours did you sleep last night?

Ahsoka firing back: I don’t know. How many cups of coffee have you drank in the past hour?

Anakin:

Anakin: Touché. But I got my eye on you, and if you pass out. I’m sending you to the medbay and you’ll have to deal with Kix, and he won’t be so kind. [Exists walking backwards dramatically, glaring at her]

#ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #clone wars #anakin is a father to ahsoka and the 501st #anakin and ahsoka #ahsoka has anxiety #clone trooper kix #they’re both sleep deprived #anakin is such a dad #Kix is definitely very scary when he’s upset with you #anakin also definitely fell while walking backwards #skyguy and snips are a disaster

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help-me-obi-wan-ur-my-only-hope · 2 years

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Anakin and Ashoka, trying to use sabers to carve their initials on some ancient stone on an inhabited planet:

Ashoka: can you believe that master! primitives here are gonna worship us like gods!

Anakin: *gasps* good thinking, snips! I'm gonna make this S look cooler-

Obi-wan, been looking for them for ages, haven't slept for 30 hours, and is having a kriffing council meeting in 5 minutes:

Obi-wan, gently smiling: *pulls out sabers*

Cody, following obi-wan in case he passes out in the woods: *horrified* general wAIT-

#obi wan kenobi #obi wan finally losing his chill #anakin skywalker #anakin walking-disaster skywalker #ashoka tano #anakin and ashoka being pain in obi's ass #cody #oh boy that's my general #terrified cody #commander cody #cc 2224 #disaster lineage #star wars #tcw #star wars tcw #star wars incorrect quotes #tcw incorrect quotes #star wars tcw incorrect quotes

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starplusfourletters · 1 year

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The “overworked dad late to his kid’s baseball game” energy Anakin is bringing to this scene I CAN’T

#meanwhile depa and caleb arrived an hour early #depa will probably take caleb out for ice cream after #also anakin being like yes i was late to your game but consider: baseball is dumb #let's go play laser tag but with tasers #they're walking disasters and I love them #tales of the jedi #Anakin #Ahsoka Tano #ahsoka and anakin

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bh-52 · 1 year

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Here is The Force's definition of a walking disaster, bad luck personified, and the galaxy's biggest trouble & danger magnet.

And above him is Anakin Skywalker.

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a-random-pillow · 2 years

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So normal Ezra Skywalker is great but what about Erza in a no order 66 au?

Thanks for the Prompt/Ask The main story idea I have is how Ezra becomes Kanan apprentice. When Ezra is like five Anakin and Padme take the triplets to the temple.While there Erza manages to escape his parents. He wanders around for a while chasing a weird feeling in his head. Eventually, Ezra finds the Shatterponit/Windu lineage all having lunch together in a very far-off part of the temple. None of them recognize Ezra and just assume he is a lost kreshling. Mace asks how they found him Ezra just says

"I got a feeling and followed it here"

The shatter point linage realizes that this kid is meant to be their next member. Mace asks Ezra if he is hungry and they all have lunch together, somehow dodging the topic of Ezra's family.

Meanwhile, Anakin is panicking cause he lost a child and Padme is going to kill him. So he sends Rex to go distract Padme while he goes to find Ezra. Kanan and Depa adore Ezra and Mace is gose to file paperwork to make sure Kanan gets first dibs on as Ezra as his Padwan. So Mace stealths the paperwork to make sure Yoda doesn't find out and start to meddle in his lineage's affairs.

Mission Complete: PaperWork filed

Mace returns to his linage, who are watching a holo movie and they vibe until Ezra says

"Ha! That person acts like my dad"

They all stop and ask

"You know your parents?"

"Yep, my dad is a really cool Jedi and mom's a senator!!"

Mace puts 2 and 2 together and figures out this is one of the triplets he's heard so much about, well he is already emotionally committed to this child so Skywalker is just going to have to deal with it. Then he realizes how long Ezra has been with them

"Do your parents know where you are"

Ezra thinks for a few moments before shaking his head. There like haft way through the movie so Mace decides they'll finish the movie and then go find Skywalker.

Anakin has been running around the temple looking for his lost child. He worries a sith got in and kidnaped him since they encountered Maul before.

When they finish the movie Mace carries a sleepy Ezra back to the kresh while Depa and Kanan cue over him. Padme gets a text from Anakin saying that he lost Ezra and they need to tell the council. Mace puts a hand on Padme's shoulder and says

"Sorry for any distress, Ezra is fine and he spent the day with my linage"

Anakin is so confused about Mace being nice to Ezra

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gffa · 6 months

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#I LOVE HOW DRAMATIC THE FIRST ONE IS #ICONIC NIGHTMARE MONSTER MAN OFFERING THE GALAXY TO HIS SON THE HERO #THE STUFF OF EPICS RIGHT THERE #AND THEN THE SECOND ONE IS JUST #"[SIGH] I DON'T KNOW WHAT I EXPECTED" #HE'S SUCH A SCRUNKLY WET CAT IN THE SECOND ONE #GET YOURSELF A VILLAIN WHO CAN DO BOTH #WALKING NIGHTMARE FUEL ONE MINUTE #AND THE NEXT JUST A SAD WET CAT OF A DISASTER MAN #NOBODY DOES IT LIKE ANAKIN SKYWALKER

#star wars #anakin skywalker #darth vader #behind the scenes

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intermundia · 2 months

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one of the most impactful stylistic choices in the revenge of the sith novel is that that stover will sometimes slide into 2nd person. i can't think of any other star wars book that does that, but i also can't think of a book that tries as hard to be a classical tragedy.

the formula for catharsis is a combination of pity and fear, feeling aching sorrow for someone whose choices led to disaster, and feeling the dread of knowing that their choices were relatable. the 2nd person encourages the latter kind of tragic identification.

stover uses it to great effect the last three pages of the book, in a section beginning "this is how it feels to be anakin skywalker, forever" which takes you by the hand and walks you directly into hell:

The first dawn of light in your universe brings pain. The light burns you. It will always burn you. Part of you will always lie upon black glass sand beside a lake of fire while flames chew upon your flesh.

And there is one blazing moment in which you finally understand that there was no dragon. That there was no Vader. That there was only you. Only Anakin Skywalker. That it was all you. Is you. Only you. You did it. You killed her. You killed her because, finally, when you could have saved her, when you could have gone away with her, when you could have been thinking about her, you were thinking about yourself... It is in this blazing moment that you finally understand the trap of the dark side, the final cruelty of the Sith— Because now your self is all you will ever have.

this kind of direct address ("you killed her") encourages the reader to feel complicit in what just happened, directly involved in the horror. the narrator is inviting you to fully inhabit anakin's consciousness as he experiences the horror of self understanding, realizing with him that he's doomed to persist in a life that is unrecognizable in its misery. you're pushed inside his broken body, his broken heart, his broken mind, and you feel how deeply human he is, for all that he's a monster. it's an highly effective emotional gut punch.

#rots novelization my beloved #sw #sw books #bless u stover i hope u kno some weird nerd thinks you killed it #anakin skywalker

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xzaddyzanakinx · 2 months

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Missed Me pt 2

Stepdad!Anakin Skywalker x femme reader

18+ MDNI

Warnings: cheating, oral, stepcest/inappropriate relationships

Info: mom comes home, shit gets complicated Also, just now realizing I should be putting ‘cheating’ in the warnings for all stepdad! fics… oopsie

Anakin had always been an athletic man, but right now his reflexes seemed to fail him. He froze with his mouth still suctioned to your cunt. His eyes locked onto you as if his brain had shut down. You tapped his forehead and it seemed to have hit his reset button because he scrambled up and smacked the garage door button repeatedly, willing it to close faster.

The moment he finally moved, you gathered up your clothes… or what was left of them and panicked. Anakin stared at you like he’d lost every thought in his head, before he laughed. A full loud belly laugh.

You broke out in a little smile and pushed past him to go into the house, making a run for your bedroom. Moments later you heard the front door open, the jingle of keys, and the dull thump of your mothers purse on the kitchen table.

“Anakin?” She called out.

You noted her voice seemed normal, unaffected. Breathing a sigh of relief you made yourself presentable and shoved your ruined clothes into your trash bin.

“Huh? What?” You heard Anakin yell back, muffled from the distance of the closed garage door to your room.

“Just seeing where you were that’s all babe.” She called back. Good. He’ll have time to pick up the mess he’d made from his frantic clearing of his work bench.

God he’s just so good at playing it cool. Huh? What? That little crack in his voice betrayed his nervousness and you hoped your mom didn’t question it.

You heard shuffling and decided it was probably safe to come out of your room. Walking into the kitchen you acted as normal as possible. You were out of practice for this sneaking around and you felt awkward and alittle dirty.

“Hey.” You smiled at your mom, who pulled you into a side hug while she was sitting at the kitchen counter flipping through the mail.

“How’s your day going sweetheart?” She asked, not looking up.

You turned to get a water from the fridge and leaned against the counter.

“It’s okay.” You said nonchalantly, “I slept in… but I was just about to go on a run actually.”

“Oh good! Why don’t you take the dog with you?” She suggested. “I’m sure she’d love a little trip around the neighborhood.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” You nodded, noting a slight frown on her face when she finally looked up at you. Though it quickly faded and you wondered if maybe your guilty conscience had you seeing things.

“Well don’t let me keep you.” She smiled. “I probably won’t be here when you get back, I’ve got to go back into the office.”

“Really? I thought they were letting you have a full day off?” You asked in confusion, knowing she had requested that because of the doctors appointment she had just returned from.

“Yeah, there’s a trainee who fumbled some stuff while coding for the new website I’m working on.” She sighed, but brushed it off with a wave of her hand.

“Well… good luck fixing it then.” You shrugged, turning around and grabbing the dog’s leash.

“Chewie!” You said in your happy little ‘who’s a good puppy’ voice.

Your big, furry, German shepherd came running. She may look alittle scary, but she’s really just the sweetest girl. You ruffled the scruff around her neck and gave her a solid few pats to her side before clipping on her leash and heading outside.

Meanwhile Anakin had just finished picking up his disaster zone of a garage and slid himself back up underneath the vehicle he was repairing. He worked for a while there until he heard the garage door leading into the house open and the familiar *click-clack* of his wife’s work pumps.

“Hey babe.” He said flatly, unceremoniously inching back out from under the car. He grabbed his discarded t-shirt and wiped his hands and face with it before tossing it on the propped open hood of the car.

Your mom smiled, patting his cheek.

“Almost done with this one?” She asked, pointing to the vehicle.

“Yeah, the guys coming to pick it up tomorrow.” Anakin nodded. “And I’ve got an old Lincoln coming in tomorrow too. Somethin’ about the fuel injector.” He shrugged.

“Will you be done for the weekend though?” She asked, gently touching his forearm. “I was hoping we could have a date night.”

“Uh, well yeah sure.” He nodded, trying to sound enthusiastic. “I’m sure it’ll be alright if I push one back a day.”

“Really?” She smiled big and wide, “thank you, I’ll plan us something good okay?”

He nodded, giving her a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. Damn. He was a piece of shit, a horrible husband, and a terrible stepfather. That little glimmer of hope and happiness in his wife’s eyes… it still wasn’t enough. It never had been enough, not since the first time he’d had you.

He felt like throwing up. Wondering how his life had come to this. Desperately in love with a girl who was barely legal, while his perfectly willing and loving wife was standing right in front of him begging for his attention.

“C’mere.” He said after a moment of just staring into the nether, looking straight through those hopeful eyes.

He pulled your mom into a hug, and kissed the top of her head. He felt bad, and this would make it better. Or at least that’s what he told himself. A little apologetic affection, though of course he was the only one aware that this was an apology.

“Alright. I’ll let you get back to work.” Your mom said, a bright smile on her lips that Anakin didn’t even attempt to mirror.

He simply turned back around and leaned over the engine bay, surveying the work he had left to complete.

It was accidental. A completely innocent last glance at Anakin as your mother shut the door. But it was a more than enough to see the very visible, very fresh, red streaks on his upper back. She swallowed, opening the door again.

“Hey Ani?” She said, hiding the lump in her throat with a cough.

“Yeah?” He huffed, not turning around while he was elbow deep in the engine bay.

She asked where you were. Wanting to check her theory.

“She was on a run.” He said, looking back over his shoulder. “I figured she’d be back by now. Check her room I guess.”

“Alright.” She sighed, stiffly shutting the door.

You and Chewie were jogging through your subdivision, and finally decided to stop for a break under the shade of a large tree. Standing on the side walk you took a sip from your water bottle and leaned against the rough bark. Wiping the sweat from your face with the back of your hand.

As you screwed the lid back on you noticed a black streak on your skin.

Fuck.

Part three

Tag-List:

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timetodiverge · 3 months

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Anakin: give me a grand-padawan already

Ahsoka: best I can do is a 30yo walking disaster with extremely limited force sensitivity

Anakin: ...you had me at "disaster"

#anakin: I'm in bro sign me up #he's a proud grand-master #ahsoka #star wars #sabine wren #ahsoka show #anakin #star wars memes

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starwarsbutmakeitgay · 2 years

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Anakin: Most laws refer to a ‘he’ or a ‘she’ so since I am a they the law doesn’t apply to me.

Ahsoka: I don’t think thats how-

Anakin: I am a b o v e the law

Obi Wan: YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT-

#anakin doesnt have a gender #i will fight u #non binary anakin #non binary #ashoka is anakins sister #star wars #star wars fandom #star wars incorrect quotes #anakin skywalker #sw incorrect quotes #sw fandom #anakin is a walking disaster #star wars characters #gay star wars

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antianakin · 1 year

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Man, now that I've made the connection between Palpatine intentionally manipulating Anakin against the Jedi and Anakin somewhat unintentionally poisoning Ahsoka against the Jedi, I can't unsee it.

We have this lineage that, yes, is called the disaster lineage, but is full of such beautiful wonderful Jedi who seem to have genuinely loved being a Jedi (at least, for a while in Dooku's case) and genuinely loved teaching and loved their students. And we see how that love and passion and dedication DID get passed down. We can see Yoda's patience and cleverness in Dooku, Dooku's passion in Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon's love and determination in Obi-Wan. We can even see some of Obi-Wan's lessons in Anakin every so often.

But Anakin isn't listening the same way everyone else was. Anakin doesn't believe the same way everyone else did.

Anakin gives lip service to the lessons he learned from Obi-Wan ("purpose before feelings") and Ahsoka certainly HEARS them, but she's also picking up just as much from Anakin's actual actions and choices and the lessons he teaches that go unsaid as she ever is from the few times he throws out some platitudes. She picks up on his mistrust of the Council, his belief that the Jedi aren't good enough. She knows that he wants to leave, that he's not even necessarily HAPPY as a Jedi all the time. She picks up on his disobedience and arrogance and impatience and puts herself in dangerous situations because of it. She sees his attachments, his attachment to HER, his attachments maybe even to Padme and Obi-Wan.

Anakin passes on just as much if not more of what he learned from PALPATINE than he ever did from Obi-Wan. Because actions can speak louder than words, and Anakin's actions show where his beliefs and values truly lie, and it isn't with the Jedi.

So Anakin breaks the lineage. He destroys Ahsoka's hopes of ever truly being a good Jedi Knight long before he commits genocide against the Order because he'd already started turning her against them, potentially without even realizing that that's what he was doing. Ahsoka got trained by Darth Vader, by Palpatine's apprentice, before he took on the name and position officially.

Which raises the question of whether Ahsoka WOULD'VE stayed in the Order ultimately in a situation where the Wrong Jedi arc doesn't happen, Palpatine is killed early, and Anakin stays for longer for one reason or another, but remains married to Padme and living a life of secrecy and lies. Would Ahsoka have ultimately had just enough mindfulness to decide to walk away? Would she have always decided the Jedi were too busy playing politics to truly help anyone, or did that only happen because of the Wrong Jedi arc? Would Anakin's training of her always have ultimately led to that end just because he's giving her Palpatine's poison, but she grew up on Jedi foundations of mindfulness that would give her the ability to actually walk away that Anakin has never had?

#anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #disaster lineage #count dooku #obi-wan kenobi #qui-gon jinn #yoda #sheev palpatine #palpatine #anakin skywalker critical #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano critical #star wars

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ahsoka-in-a-hood · 2 years

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My new favorite thing on tumblr.com is the discourse around how hard it is to leave the order you guys, they leave their members ‘with no life skills’ etc etc, ONLY THE CLOTHES ON THEIR BACKS, it’s so darlingly melodramatic that I’m low-key picturing some kind of ritualistic drumming out ceremony, possibly involving the knights chanting ‘shame,’ ‘shame,’ ala game of thrones, while every single council member gazes down upon them from on high, faces carved from judgmental stone, culminating in the poor sod spending their first night in rags sleeping at the foot of the temple steps,

okay, I am getting distracted. What I’m actually amusing myself with is picturing what Ahsoka, 16 years of age, can put on her CV. It’s a lot. Now I hate CVs so like I’m not about to write up hers but. It includes military command, references from at least two GALACTIC SENATORS who worked with her, references from at least two HEADS OF STATE. Engineering, piloting, teaching, combat, military command, special ops, investigation, geo-politics....... She is 16. This is an objectively insane CV.

Her level of education is so respected that a head of state invited her to guest lecture at their top academy when she was 14, to kids her own age, and she was poised and confident throughout. Her schooling gets outright called out as privileged by her coruscanti friends. Also like, please let me know when the standard US high school curriculum comprehensively covers shit like astronavigation.

Every time she is depicted with non-jedi kids her age she is depicted as generally more worldly and prepared than them. The mandalorian kids. Lux, Trace, etc. She’s never encountered deathwatch or the Pikes directly before she’s rescuing her friends from them, but she immediately knows what’s up because she is simply. Well informed. Unlike her friends. It’s not like she doesn’t also learn things from them in these episodes, but. She just knows a lot.

She also left the order with at a minimum multiple contacts in the senate, a friendship with the king of Mon Calamar (I think?) and the duchal family of mandalore, as well as some shadier contacts.

(Now it’s true that tcw never answered, or even asked, what kind of financial or otherwise situation the temple itself provides to help a jedi who wants out to find their feet. That’s not a question you can ask in Ahsoka’s case without also asking: where the hell was Padme’s support? Why wasn’t Ahsoka sleeping on her couch? That’s her sister-in-law! Actually this is a trick question because Ahsoka tells Anakin she needs to figure this out on her own. Without the council, and without him. So we’ll never know. Until disney churns out yet more content that may or may not contradict previous content.)

(Absolute props to Ahsoka that is 100% what I would have done at 16. That’s just what being 16 is like. Bad things happen and then GOODBYE I AM PUTTING A SANDWICH IN A HANKERCHIEF AND TYING IT TO A STICK AND WALKING INTO THE SUNSET I AM GOING MY OWN WAY I WILL SLEEP ROUGH I WILL GO WHERE THE WIND BLOWS THIS WORLD IS STRANGE AND CRUEL AND I MUST RELY ON MYSELF GOODBYE)

(and obviously like canonically the door was 100% open to her returning, anytime she saw them they were like so... any chance you’re done with your walkabout?... we still have your room ready... your frog grandpa feels so bad he literally had a bad trip vision quest where you were like dying and asking him why he abandoned you and we had to commit him he is very sad. except maybe we’re not actually going to say this because that would sound like a guilt trip.. but... lightsabers ? :3)

(Generally the disaster lineage are a deeply ridiculous dataset. When Obi Wan was contemplating leaving the order he was contemplating becoming the Duke-Consort of Mandalore. Anakin not only married money but was offered a job by the Chancellor at 12 (comics). I mean ANAKIN RUN but also imagine being 12 and the president of the galaxy says well if you don’t like it with your dad I’ll give you a job)

Ultimately when Ahsoka left she tripped and fell into job as a mechanic, immediately found herself bailing her new boss out of trouble, and was headhunted like a week later to be on the command team for a counter coup of a whole system. She was still 16. The rest of us can only aspire to these kinds of job opportunities.

#ahsoka tano #i love her okay #jedi order #once again not sober on tumblr.com

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help-me-obi-wan-ur-my-only-hope · 2 years

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Obi-wan, uncharacteristically rushing through the corridor: Anakin-

Anakin, in their share quarters trying to hide clear evidence of a fight: Oh shit oh shit oh shit-

Obi-wan, slamming the door: ANAKIN

Anakin, on the ground, pretending to be unconscious:

Obi-wan, totally unimpressed: Is THAT the best you can think of?

Anakin, silently sweating: ugh-

#sometimes he can think of the worst ideas #Is ThAt tHe bESt YoU CAn ThiNk oF #just imagine his accent saying this in a sassy way #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #anakin walking disaster skywalker #star wars #star wars incorrect quotes #tcw #star wars tcw #tcw incorrect quotes #star wars tcw incorrect quotes

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terapsina · 8 months

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You know what I'm weirdly looking forward to now that the Ahsoka series has come out and Sabine Wren has been added to the Disaster Lineage?

All the inevitable fics where Sabine gets sent to the Clone Wars and saves the galaxy while being weirded out by her emotionally constipated Jedi Master being a snippy and pretty optimistic kid.

(also, I'm just curious about Sabine being confronter by the sheer tragedy of what the genocide of the Jedi Order means. I mean, yeah, she's more aware than most because she knows how it affected Kanan and Ahsoka, but that's very different than actually walking into the Jedi Temple and seeing all these people who will be horribly murdered in the near future).

(also, I love the hilarity of the Jedi Order dealing with the fact that apparently what they can look forward to next from their headache team is the first Mandalorian Padawan in a thousand years).

Like being the focus of a time travel fix it fic is like a right of passage for basically every single character whose name doesn't rhyme with Schmalpatine, but it's ESPECIALLY a right of passage for the the Disaster Lineage.

And if she's a part of Disaster Lineage then I NEED her to meet Anakin and Obi-Wan and the extended family that is Rex and Cody and Padmé and... well everyone. And I know that can't happen in the show, but it goddamn BETTER happen in fic.

#sabine wren #ahsoka tano #ahsoka #ahsoka disney+#family: ahsoka x sabine #star wars #clone wars #terapsina rambles #terapsina's star wars rambles #also also #i just want anakin to go through his 'I'm a grandpa?' moment #for the bit

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