do you ever just have this ugly scary emotion that makes you feel so terrible? when you want sympathy and somehow express yourself in a way that gets you sympathy and then.
and then you feel like you manipulated someone into sympathizing with you, because somewhere it feels so wrong that you got it? that you got it because you wanted it and because you asked for it?
hate that i can have crushes only when i wanna be friends with someone very badly or when they give me the slightest bit of non-platonic attention,,,,, and that neither EVER work out </3