#and (because he loved her) he reached back

[shorthaltsjester]

free my complex female character, she did the same thing as complex male characters but the fandom takes Any analysis of her actions/choices/motivations that doesn’t strip her of all of her agency in bad faith and claims that only misogynists would dare to critique the things that they’ve noticed in her character because she’s a woman, completely ignoring the over-presence of discourse about similarly traited male characters in their fandom.

#exhausted by people categorizing CRITIQUE. not even genuine hate just literally basic analysis of imogen’s character #as a) hate at all but b) misogynistic simply because… they assume the person like caleb and percy uncritically like #i love imogen and i love her because she’s riddled with complexity that gives reason for her to be unlikeable #the shit ashton says makes me want to tear out my hair and i could write analysis on why but they’re still one of my favourite characters #i enjoy caleb but watching him infuriated me because of his self interest which is a coherent trait of his but is a tiring one #similarly with percy of love his pretentious Smartest In The Room shit but sometimes it meant he treated others more poorly than necessary #but i’m not unpacking all of that just so i have some fandom mandated right to say that i think there’s an aspect of a female character #that is imperfect in the human sense #because like. i will continue to call imogen’s self interested until the world burns and the moon shatters. because she is. #the only reason her choice to do good is compelling at all is because the choice to do otherwise is so tangible #it isn’t a Mistake or Fault that she’s self interested. it’s by design #like. she reaches towards the storm in curiosity in her sleep. but then she fights back when she’s awake #that’s it #that’s the dynamic. that’s what’s compelling #but no ur right fandom. let’s instead all agree that imogen is actually just intrinsically good #and take away all agency and complexity and humanity from her #and instead slap a sticker of Morally Good and enjoy the caricature of her where she’s made to fit into the imagine of #the latest aesthetic ad for diarrhoea medication #imogen temult #critical role #inspired as always by dumbass twitter posts that i’m subjected to because of school n work #the worst part is i do like the laudna n imogen dynamic in the stagnancy where it is but so much of that fandom is so clear in their erosion #of both characters actuality to suit the picture of Ship Tropes #like fuckin. so much of imogen’s fanart in imodna making her fat which as a fat person great love to see it #not so much when it’s clearly to make her short n stout against laundas tall n lanky. #anyway

[gayvecchio]

Frannie, you are in over your head. Meaning? Meaning, guys like him don't marry girls like you. That's fairy tale. And girls like you get hurt, and guys like him don't even know it, and that's life.

#due south #ray vecchio #francesca vecchio #benton fraser #oof the way you can see the truth of this hit ray so hard #good for frannie for saying all of this and sticking up for herself because ray was being an unfair jerk #especially since he was projecting his own fears and insecurities about losing fraser and taking it out on frannie #ray's behavior here only makes sense to me if he's acting out of jealousy #because he doesn't seem the type to get involved in his siser's love life (unless she's being harmed in some way) #and what he says about fraser directly contradicts what we know ray actually thinks about him #i can't imagine ray sees fraser as the type to 'love 'em and leave 'em for lack of a better phrase. he knows he's not like that #ray is the one in over his head and worried about being left heartbroken (and not being good enough for fraser to stick around for) #if fraser was involved with frannie; ray loses ever getting a chance with him either way whether it works out or not #if the potential relationship worked out ray would have to sit by and watch the man he loves be with his sister #and if it doesn't work out (which it likely wouldn't lbr) he loses his frienship as well because it would never be the same after #and the fact remains that fraser will likely go back to canada one day and leave ray behind #and not realize just how much it will hurt ray when he goes #AND FRASER IS LISTENING TO ALL OF THIS #HE'S JUST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLASS #THE PERSON RAY DREAMS ABOUT #SO CLOSE BUT STILL OUT OF REACH #i can't with them #frannie is the only brave one here i love her #ds30below

[haemosexuality]

i just heard someone on youtube (T B Skyen) say that silco loved jinx but didnt quite know how to love powder, while vi loves powder but doesnt know how to love jinx. and oooof oof ouch yeah

also it got me thinking and obviously jinx and powder arent two different people shes just going by a different name now but its also not baseless to analyze them as different "characters", or what traits of jinx are part of powder, etc. like the animators literally have a trick where they change her facial structure how they animate jinx to show when shes behaving more like powder. shes completely changed who she is, its jinx now powder fell down a well, sat on the jinx chair embraces who she is etc etc

#powder is like jinxs inner child #while jinx is- or was before the chair scene- the persona she puts on where she loves Violence and Chaos and shes Crazy HaHaHaHaHa #so when someone says like. ''jinx is being more powder in this scene'' it means shes regressing into being more childlike because of her #trauma or maybe shes so distressed and emotional that her persona fell apart for a second and the sad child underneath showed through #''silco loves jinx but doesnt know how to love powder'' means he loves and supports her being confident and smart in her inventions and #trying to accept and move on from her past. but hes teeeeerrible at that bc he doesnt want to let powder heal #he just wants her to bury that part of herself #and vi loves and cares for her baby sister so so much but shes terrified and doesnt want to accept the reality of what shes become #i do think vi had a point before tho. powder Was in there and while that doesnt negate jinx she could still reach her #and maybe help her out #idk how true that is after shimmer and silco dying tho. again. chair scene. the persona has fully become who jinx is theres no going back #powder fell down a well #arcane #jinx arcane #powder arcane #ignore me im just brainstorming ive been thinking about this show CONSTANTLY for the past few weeks i have so many thoughts on everyone #im sure this is a conclusion people reached years ago immediately after the show came out but im slow #theres a point between the child powder and the crazy terrorist jinx where the real true her lies #and that point has been getting closer and closer to the jinx side

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Going buckwild at the way Hilda The Series portrays adulthood and loneliness. Kaisa has no one to go to to ask for help getting the due book back, even though all it would take was someone she could minimally ask to knock on an elderly lady’s door and ask for a favour; she’s in the library after hours, is shown to have no allies aside from the woman who raised her and who she lost contact with. Johanna is only ever seen working or caring for Hilda, and her lack of a life aside from those two activities is pointed out by her own daughter when she thinks that this is going so far as to affect their relationship. The bell keeper lives alone in a small cabin on the edge of town, barely within city limits and away from everyone, a house barely even inhabitable and clearly only a place to sleep and eat. He works a solitary job and he’s the only one in the town still working it, meaning he’s probably overworked and forced to pull inhumanly long shifts. Victoria hyperfocused so hard on her projects that whatever friends she had before - and she must have had some from college time at least - lost contact with her, and she never made any other connections in Trolberg, anything that would tie her to the city and it’s inhabitants and make it so it wasn’t worth it to live by herself at the top of a hill. Even when that was over, she still chose to isolate herself somewhere abandoned and keep what was essentially another machine she’d built as her source of company, something she could understand and control instead of an unpredictable human being. Gerda works a job she likes but is shown to be disregarded by the person she works the most around, her abilities and intellect thrown aside for the good of someone she has to bear because of a hierarchy she was forced to accept in order to keep working. She’s appreciated by the town, but other than the main characters, we don’t see anyone paying her any mind when they don’t need something from her.

Meanwhile no kid has ever been alone in Trolberg. The mean kids are a group, the good kids are a group, even the gloomy teenage girls are a group. One of nightmare inducing entities, but a group nonetheless. All children in that world seem to operate on a ‘no man left behind’ code, looking out for each other even if they aren’t exactly fans of one another, helping even grown ups without asking why and working together. And this logic seems to extend to the adults who work around children too; especially the Raven Leader, who we see that through the children works as a vital part of the community and a way through which it comes together.

This isn’t very articulate but do you see the point? Do you see how clever that is? That a show about growing up has these themes? You can be magical, kind, strong, intelligent, competent, but none of that will make you truly happy if you don’t keep the most important thing from childhood? If you don’t keep your friendships, your bonds, something to tie you down to your reality and your community? The adults in the show all made their choices, and it’s okay to want to be alone, we all need it and some more than others (this is coming from someone who needs it a lot), but isolating yourself completely is the one thing that will make growing pains truly painful. I’m just so emotional over it. It’s so subtle and so clever considering the whole Mountain King plot that Hilda is willing to change species because she feels detached from her main relationships and surroundings. I love this show so much.

#Hilda meta #Kaisa isolated herself because of insecurity. Johanna did it because of duty (keeping herself and a daughter afloat seemingly by her own) #the bell keeper did it (apparently) because of a lack of interest #AND being overworked. that’s so important to mention #actually scratch that. I bet being overworked is the MAIN reason. imagine keeping patrol day and night I wouldn’t talk to anyone either #Victoria did it because of passion #Gerda did it unwillingly as a result of the system she was working for #I could mention so many other people too #Tildy doing it because of hopelessness after the two people she loved failed to reach out to her #Abigail because she convinced herself she couldn’t go back home #the midnight giant because he made one sole person his whole world and his species had to leave #the trolls because of the consequences of colonialism sparking internal conflict #it’s lonely. lonely all around. #the only group of adults that seem to be doing fine are the elves #which are. you guessed it. a tightly knit community #and paperwork or no paperwork they all work for the well-being of their society as a whole #growing up doesn’t have to be lonely. growing up doesn’t have to be lonely. #but God it can be. and its something you have to fight against because it’s so easy to get caught in the tide #the more I grow the more things I find in Hilda to relate to #the show seems to age with us this is fantastic #Hilda the series #hilda netflix #johanna hilda #kaisa hilda #Victoria Van gale #the bell keeper hilda

[better-call-mau1]

Thinking about Sabine waking up in the comm tower in the middle of the night and finding herself alone in bed and having a panic attack like “oh no oh no oh no oh no…it was all just a dream…Ahsoka and I never found Ezra…and I never told him I loved him…and we never got married…and our life together was just a haunting invention of my subconscious…”

…then the toilet flushes down the hall and Ezra stumbles out of the refresher in his little orange sleep shorts and flops back into bed beside her and passes out immediately while Sabine is still trying to get over her emotional whiplash.

#ok but waking up from a really vivid dream and not being sure what’s real for a few seconds #that’s actually terrifying #so I can imagine Sabine has to deal with this a lot #she’s in the habit of reaching out to touch Ezra’s beard to anchor herself in the present #but sometimes he’s off taking a tinkle or grabbing a midnight snack #and Sabine will get up and go looking for him and not go back to bed until he comes with her #maybe Ezra starts carrying her around with him when he gets up? #“welp it’s 3 AM and I really gotta go pee…better throw my sleeping wife over my shoulder so she doesn’t wake up alone and start bawling” #I love Sabezra so much because I’m not even sure that’s crack for them #they’re ​partners who would literally do anything for each other #sabezra headcanons #sabezra #sabine wren #ezra bridger

[mey-rin-is-fabulous]

"Why didn't you go too?"

Oh I don't know Nami maybe because he asked and Luffy said he didn't need help and Zoro is so incredibly whipped that if Luffy tells him not to fight he listens, if Luffy tells him to stay he stays

Like Nami where the hell have you been the past 100+ episodes, those two are about as in love as in love gets without them making out

#one piece #zolu #roronoa zoro #monkey d. luffy #i'm at the jaya arc #like episode 150 i think #and i'm back on my nonsense #look it's about the trust the devotion ugh i hate these two idiots so much #nami i know it's not obvious but they're in love that's why zoro didn't fight and why he stayed #because he knows when luffy says something isn't worth it #it's not worth it #he's also well aware that luffy knows his own strength and that if luffy says he doesn't need help he doesn't need it #ugh these two suck #zoro be like luffy not in danger i sleep luffy in danger already reaching for sword #literally what happened when they met cricket #zoro was napping right up until cricket pulled luffy in the water #zoro just didn't go after luffy because usopp was already on it #otherwise he would have #please don't take this as nami bashing i don't hate her she just doesn't get zoro's devotion to luffy #which is completely fair they invented a whole new love language

[depressedhatakekakashi]

People need to learn to hate a character without coming up with the most BS excuses.

You cannot actually tell me Naruto learned more from Jiraiya, or Sasuke learned more from Orochimaru than they did from Kakashi

Jiraiya taught Naruto Rasagan and Summoning.

All we see Sasuke get from Orochimaru is his summons, and he also has an eagle summon so clearly he couldn’t even just have only the snakes to connect him to his ‘master’

Meanwhile, Kakashi taught Naruto chakra nature, how to use his shadow clones, Basic Chakra control, is stated to have improved all three of his students exponentially before the chunin exams, and of course he taught all three of his students the importance of teamwork and protecting their friends over the mission. A lesson that Naruto and Sasuke both take to heart in their own way.

He taught Sasuke the chidori, which Sasuke evolved into other types of chidori style jutsu’s. He also helped him improve his taijutsu so much in a month that Gai, the Taijutsu master, was impressed and concerned about the training Kakashi put him under for that month.

Sakura is the only one who we can confidently say learned more from her master, and Kakashi can’t teach medical ninjitsu (he only knows basic medical ninjitsu and that’s only after the way) and states himself he’s not the best at teaching chakra control (hence why he asked Ebisu to help Naruto with that during the month between chunin exam fights)

Like…

Hate Kakashi all you want but calling him a ‘Bad Sensei’ is factually incorrect for what we see. Even when he screws up it’s not out of malice or thinking he just knows better. He’s genuinely trying to help his students and just screws up.

It happens.

#wanna talk about how much Care the Sensei put into their students? #mistakes aside Kakashi clearly cared about every single one of his students #he cheered Naruto on and was proud of him in his chunin exam fights #he assured Sasuke that he would protect him in the land of waves arc when he saw him freaking out #he tried to comfort Sakura when she was upset about Naruto and Sasuke fighting #he tried to reach out to Sasuke when he saw him crumbling after his interaction with Itachi #he was always there to put Naruto back and get him to try and think things through as well as being determined to protect him #his first action when he came back to life after Pein’s attack was to find Naruto and make sure he was alright #when he realized Sakura was going after sasuke to try and kill him he chased after her to try and stop her #and when he realized a fight was going to happen he tried to take the burden of facing Sasuke off of Sakura’s shoulders #like did he do everything right? #no! #no one can #but he cared and he tried and he had everything stacked against him and his students #and he STILL fought tooth and nail for them because he loved them

[needylittlegirl]

#hes me #i just got very like umm #i need to hold someones hand but that someone Needs to be my younger self #like i wish i could hold my hand so tight right now #growing up is scary and i just want her to know that im okay. that ill be okay #and that even if she isnt proud of me im proud of her #21 was always a big age in my head #in the sense that like. for awhle i was so sure i’d be dead by then #like i knew id graduate highschool and i figured i’d make it a few years but never to 21 #so just the fact that ill be 21 in a few hours really is. So wild and so scary #whatever im fine #also completely unrelated (i swear) i just got my panic attack chest feeling #i think its because i havent been sleeping much so im just exhausted #whatever #i want to grab little 8 year old me and just hug her so tight #i needed it then and i need it now #i hope shes okay. i feel her sometimes and i hope she knows im strong for her #everything i do is for the little girl i used to be #amd i hope everytime i tell her i love her it somehow reaches back through time and she can feel it #tbd

[carefulfears]

thinking more about this moment in closure, and how his hands are on samantha’s words, and her hand is on him.

#ya know?? #he’s reaching out to hold onto anything left of his sister #she’s reaching out to be in it with him #so much of SUZ/closure is about mulder being ready to surrender the search #he’s spent his entire life tirelessly chasing after that one connection he remembers #that one person that he was just close to and loved by #and there is no closure #there is no letting that go or giving up on samantha #she’ll always be the picture on his wall and the motivation behind everything he does in his work #but he can witness the reality of what happened to her and accept that she’s not coming back #because he IS close to people and he IS loved #scully scours old files and consults experts and takes the lead and goes to talk to the nurse #and it’s because this is where it has all been heading #this is the end of the road #and yeah she loves him and wants to be sure that he’s okay #but she loves samantha too #and he’s able to be ‘ready’ in that and in the end of the road not being just him alone and aimless #it’s the two of them and skinner in the front seat and he’s ‘free’ #closure #txf.txt

[aq2003]

youtube user haruyasumi616 comes onto the internet to lie

#I LOVE ROSE. WITH ALLLL MY HEART. BUT I DONT THINK SHE IS THE MOST 'COMPASSIONATE' COMPANION OF THE THREE LOL #that goes to donna bc she's the bleeding-heart feels-deeply-about-everyone person that makes ten remember how that's a part of him too #'donna would do this occasionally' NO she does it in nearly every episode she is in and she like. shakes ten like ragdoll and says #no you cannot turn your back on this person because it's not right. and he KNOWS she's right. she makes him confront who he is/should be #also you have to be crazy or jus racist to find martha dull idc. #martha's whole deal is that she pushes aside making what she wants known to ten bc she knows he's in a downwards spiral and she feels #responsible to save him. bc that is who she is. the doctor's doctor. and she DOES save him hed be dead w/out her #but it takes her a whole season to realize that it's not her fault if he starts harming himself/others around him in his grief #what makes rose compelling to me is her fresh eyes. she hasnt been battered down like the doctor (particularly nine) has been #she is so painfully human and she shines a light into the doctor's soul and she Feels™ things. she reaches out to those like her. #bc that's what a 19 year old girl would do. she is SO quintessentially 19 year old girl. she can be both selfish/selfless and grows into #the latter as the show moves on. And she gets her happy (as happy as it gets in the show) ending good for her gbless #dr who #turned into what i love about the three companions in the tags idc bro my brain is melting into a soup atp #9 era #10 era

[ilovefredjones]

[ID: 1. jet from hsmtmts. he says to kourtney, who’s off camera, ‘And I don't know if I'm to stay here without my sister.’

2. screenshot of lyrics on the blue background that read ‘Both: I can't lose you, try to see / Anna: Why can't you turn to me? / Elsa: I'm trying to tell you that’

3. jet says, ‘She's my best friend, which I don't tell many people.’

4. lyrics that read, ‘Both: I can't lose you, like before / Elsa: As much as I wish, I can't open that door / Anna: Why can't you open that door?’

5. looking down at the floor, jet says, ‘I mean, including her.’

6. lyrics that read, ‘Both: If you loved yourself the way I do / Then you'd see why I can't lose you!’ END ID]

elsa: what do you want, anna?

anna: this! just you and i talking and chatting, and taking up space…

tim fedelre, high school musical: the musical: the series / kristen anderson-lopez and robert lopez, frozen: the broadway musical

#hsmtmts #jet hsmtmts #in my head we have a scene where maddox tells jet she’s going to new zealand and they have a fight about it #because jets just got her back and hes so hurt she’s leaving again #but ofc he can’t ever say that to her #so they argue about how he’ll be alone with their parents #and maddox is like ‘didn’t you always want me to leave you alone???’ #but she is so scared of being without him again #on the other side of the world #and then at dennys when the wildcats split into smaller groups jet hangs around maddox and is kind of clingy #and it’s strange and uncomfortable for the both of them but also it’s LOVE #i think it could’ve been so interesting if they’d reversed the anna/elsa parallels from last season #with maddox now being elsa - going somewhere far away and out of reach and leaving anna behind lost and confused #but noooooo that would mean developing jet and maddox beyond them being love interests and seeing their home life #and we can’t ever have that #anyway. jet and maddox elsa and anna parallel is ongoing #them barely being in s4 cant stop me being bonkers about them #hsmtmts spoilers

[johanthefriskiestofbits]

oooooo please tell me (who knows nothing on the subject) about orv swap au

hehehe. hehehehehehe. hehehehehehehhehehehhheheheh <- guy who is so normal

the premise of orv swap au (name has yet to be finalized) is this: what if kdj and yjh swapped narrative positions (reader <-> character) but very little else? what if a video game player enters a time loop to save his favorite character from dying over and over again and also to end the apocalypse?

admittedly it's not super fleshed out yet (a lot of the changes this premise would introduce are still not hammered out yet) but here are some points under the cut (novel spoilers ahead!)

orv swap au starts with pro gamer yjh who feels :/ abt his job, but hey, it pays the bills. despite (or maybe because of) his relative popularity as a pro gamer and networking with the agency/sponsors/people to impress, he's kind of isolated in a way that's detrimental, a facade of someone he's not whenever he's on camera

something to play around with is the idea of agency? maybe this yjh doesn't feel like he has any and has his hands tied between the lifestyle and being under public scrutiny and not having enough of a support system to leave everything behind. maybe he doesn't know what else he would even do. maybe he's aimless and drifting with nothing to hold on to.

his favorite video game is what i've been thinking of as World's Hardest To Play Indie Game (not based on difficulty but just on the experience of consuming it) a boring, exposition heavy, player-hostile, poorly designed, slightly buggy mess of a barely-playable game: twsa, a game that was not finished upon release and experiences with sporadic updates every now and then.

the ending tree to this game is so convoluted its insane. also theres no save states so if you die (very likely) u restart babeyyy.

twsa (video game) does have multiple endings, all of which happen when kdj, your main character, dies. some are farther into the apocolypse than others, some paths require meta knowledge of future events or character actions or items or whatever. the "true ending" is either analogous to the original 1863: kdj makes it to the end at the cost of everyone he loves, or hsy's modified 1863: kdj makes himself enemy of the scenario to secure a way out for the kimcom remnants.

there's branches on the choices tree where everyone dies and everything sucks and is bad forever and theres choices to make where kdj gets to make a family and they don't really get to settle down but they can get pretty close to it among the ruins of the apocalypse. through all his testing, yjh finds that these endings are nice but peter out - to get to the end of the apocalypse yjh has to claw his way there inch by painful inch, through betrayal and sacrifice, and he still cant fully get past it

i originally wanted to finagle a yoohankim 3 way swap but i couldn't figure it out. swap aus are a lot easier to work with when they're even numbers, at least to me, so this au features a ysa who is a video game company employee by day and by night she really has become god this time (and also a terrible indie dev). and this is how jungdoksang can still win !!!!

also yjh's coworker from Real Life hsy :) i haven't decided if she's like an employee for the same agency, or if she's someone else in the gaming circles that yjh interacts with sometimes (in my heart theyre in like some sort of discord server together), or something like that but she's around. whatever she does she is twitter cancelled for something. to me.

the only other character swaps are lsk and yma. yma is yjh's estranged sister (in broad strokes there's a vague bad parent situation going on here) (they used to be close until they drifted apart and slowly started hating each other [there is an abyss between them that neither of them can bridge]) (he feels that she betrayed him and threw him under the bus so he left [maybe he gets kicked out]) (she feels that he abandoned her to whatever situation they have going on [he didn't even try to take her with him]) and he has to find her when the apocalypse starts. yjh older sibling to yma gives us a whole different little dynamic to explore from kdj ysk (there's different levels of responsibility and guilt and blame when you're talking siblings that are soooooo interesting to me. sorry that i see any set of siblings and immediately try to figure out how to make them worse)

lsk is kdj's mom who appeared into existence at some point with kdj and they were both just adults. that's weird isn't it. oh well. i guess she can become a transcendent later too for funsies

everyone else stays in the same configuration of Real Person vs Character to me this is a very important aspect

this point has no precedent with the swap, nothing particular that would change to cause this, but it would be so funny if lgy was a little gamer boy who is an avid yjh hater. hates that guy. shows up to competitions to boo him. tunes into yjh's silent no-mic speedrunning streams to mald in chat but yjh +mods don't ban him bc its kinda funny.

anyways the apocalypse starts when yjh and his coworker/fellow gamer hsy are on a train to twitchcon and lgy is also there (also headed to twitchcon) and he brings bugs because he likes them but also to sabotage yjh specifically. its just funny if this happened. you understand

instead of having reader-related skills and abilities, yjh's skills are video game player based! he gets flavor text insight on people, location, and items, things like that. notably, he has the ability to reset, to bring himself back to the beginning of the apocalypse

orv swap proper follows yjh as the Player of the Game (Consumer of the Narrative) who lives hundred of lifetimes in this ruined-world-become-reality "replaying" [read: time looping through] the game to reshape it to save his fave character from self implosion (kdj with no dissociation is very prone to dying. all the time.). to revisit the idea of playing with yjh and the idea of agency, of creation, the only way to get past the apocalypse is to go off the beaten path, to choose options that weren't even there in the game. when in space, at his darkest point, yjh becomes a writer. in this story, at his darkest point, he has to become a creator too

please do not ask me how the epilogues go i dont know how the epilogues go (i don't want to throw yjh back into a train for milennia after he Just went through a thousand resets so i'm sending kdj for that but i havent fully planned how or why)

anyways, hope that helps!!! :)

#orv au #orvswap #i think i will main tag this. just the one tag tho. poorly planned au be upon ye. #orv #orv spoilers #<- for blacklists! #i only realized after creating this au that this is just how p//mmm goes except its videogame themed and hater lgy is there lol #anyways wheres that post that says time loops are about tragedy and theyre about saying i will make this right #and secret third thing time loops are about love #also each individual dynamic for the creater-player-character triangle in this is so interesting to me to explore like #you have the new kdj-yjh one (mostly similar tbh. was the crux of the au after all) which is a fun space to play in #but then you have a brand new kdj-ysa one to work with which is !!!! a writer and her character. a creator and her creation #and then you have ysa-yjh as the creator and her audience of 1!!!!!!! where is yjh that he needs to be saved? how does ysa answer that call #to love to the point of creation.... to tear the world asunder..... to create the worlds most unplayable rpg....... #lets meet again in another life. ysa reaches out toward yjh but cant reach him before she wakes up. cant quite tell him its not his fault #and Dont Even get me Started on yoo sister dynamics ill go insane #because theyre siblings but for a while (and def at the beginning of the story) it hurts to be around each other (its a betrayal #its a pang in your chest its a you were supposed to protect me and you were supposed to love me and i dont even know you anymore) #but also the swap means the 4th wall eats yma and leaves yjh begging for her back ('dont you hate her?' 'shes my little sister' #which is neither agreement nor denial but also both at once) #its ya boi #tango mango #anyways thanks for the ask im very normal about the ask

[goldfyshie927]

.

#second hand embarrassment time #I opened up to my ex friend about my trauma around friendships because of what happened with my ex #and for some reason ex friend interpreted that as me insinuating that I was worried my wife would fall in love with her? #and I’m sorry but what???? #I was shocked she thought she was at all my wife’s type in the first place #let alone someone who my wife could fall in love with #I didn’t even know what to say #also what a weird reach? #like damn okay you’ve got some real confidence don’t you #anyway I was like cringing the whole time and told my wife #and he was like why would she think that? why would she think she compares to you in any way? #also my ex friend def had a crush on my wife looking back now #not gonna happen girly pop #for the record my ex didn’t fall in love with one of my friends so I truly don’t know how she got that from what I shared #personal post

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Just found out my two siblings are in my mom's will, but not me. Also my grandpa has told the entire family about his engagement. Except for me. Also my dad told my siblings that he and my mom bought a plot of land. Can you guess who they haven't told?

#these tags are about to be a massive trauma dump tbh so avoid if you want #when i was fifteen i came out as trans. and my mom was terrible about it. and my dad was up for a promotion so we were considering moving #and i found a list of my moms pros and cons for moving. on the pros was 'people there dont know about (deadname)' #so that was ideal for a suicidal fifteen year old to find. and tonight i just learned that im not in her will #both of my siblings are. but im not. and its just always been like this #im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen #i heard from my brother that my grandpa is engaged. and he told both my siblings about it directly. he never told me #i reach out to my parents. i never hear back. my aprents text my sibling to check on me (sib and i live together) #everything is kind of shit rn. one of my rats is dying. my family doesnt love me. im broke. my best friend and i arent really talking #because he fucked my ex gf and now things arent really the same anymore. strangely enough. he doesnt reach out anymore #so i have no one to talk to about any of this shit #last night i was crying about my rat and i guess my roommate heard it cuz this morning they said #'are you okay? if you ever need someone to talk to who will never bring it up again you can talk to me' #and thats the most loving thing ive heard from someone in months. from a woman ive known since august #im. just. at a loss. since i found out tonight. that im not in my mom's will #its not about money. or assets. its about the fact that im her fucking child and both of her other children are in it but im not #after she dies shes willing to help them out but i can get fucked ig #i wonder if im gonna be invited to my grandpas wedding. i wonder if any of them would want me at their funeral #i wonder if any of them would come to mine

[cestacruz]

Mmm Jeanne

#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore #jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write #we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote #was actually Her own book #jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life #marie reads to jeanne is my image #jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence #if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself #unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal #she can sign her own name ofc thats historical #she can recite the bible from memory iirc #i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream #like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED. #WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO #anyway. now jeanne again but physical #oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life #i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different #but i just gotta confirm #but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that #when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair #sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part #and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like #but it still upsets her #not that she'd ever complain to people #you can probably get it out of her tho #unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year #war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh #my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died-- #and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc #actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...

[levil0vesyou]

Having a post get popular enough to be independently reblogged by someone you follow but aren't mutuals with is. Wild

#yes it was the sex poll obvs #given the person is a minor i'm very glad they picked answer one lmao #like i do think minors in general are allowed to want and even have sex (with each other obvs) but when it's a minor i personally follow it #would just make me feel pretty weird lmao. like on a personal level ya feel? i mean when u reach an even closer level it becomes not weird #again like my dear friend ness (17yo) who afaik doesn't actually HAVE any sex but occasionally wants to and i support her hot girl summer. #but as stated this person barely knows i exist i just follow his blog (i used they earlier but this was incorrect but tumblr won't let me e #edit the tag 😔) and he's 16yo so seeing him talk about wanting and/or having sex would have been. uncomfortable. like obvs he'd be allowed #to because my personal discomfort is no indication of morality but you get it. like if my big little cousin (she's 15 now by god the years #don't stop coming) were to talk about sex and stuff to me or within earshot i would ummm. throw myself out the window? but like i'd still t #try to be supportive and if push comes to shove then yes i would give her condoms 😔 cuz like if a minor wants sex i will not be able to sto #stop them lmao but i can at least try and make it somewhat safe y'know #actually i remembered i have literally given a 15yo a condom before lmao she's prolly over 20 now but like as the adult dormmate it was alm #almost like a responsibility y'know like what do you want me to DO?? let her get pregnant?? anyway enough tangent lmao #btw all this is also why in the poll i included 'too young' but didn't specify an age cuz that's individual y'know. some people are p late #bloomers (i was one) while others choose to have consensual sex by 14 y'know. not something i like to think about but that doesn't mean it #won't happen ya feel. i mean what am i the american education system? lmao. so some ppl have interpreted being 17 as too young but there's #also folks like this who clearly consider 16 old enough and that's defo ppl's good right. and again i usually don't mind just the fact that #he in particular is someone i already knew made it uncomfy. but anyway yea back on topic it's very interesting in general when your post #gets big enough to independently make it to ur dash thru a non mutual lmao. love the hellsite honestly where else amirite #personal #mine #ok to rb ig #like the actual body of the post anyway. i'd be pretty uncomfy if said person saw my tags on this cuz y'know it's kind vagueing even if it' #not negative but anyway. anyway #*kinda