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#and Buck just looks all exasperated at maddie and is like do you believe me now!!
exhuastedpigeon · 1 month
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Buddie Hiatus Fic Rec - Month 7Nov 16 - Dec 15
0-5k
share this hour of make-believe by fleetinghearts / @shitouttabuck Gen | 1.2k quarantine finds eddie sharing a bed with a pillow-thief and sleep-talker. he minds less than he thinks.
In my defence I was left unsupervised by Spotsandsocks / @spotsandsocks Mature | 1.3k Buck gets bored and decides on a new look, he may have doubts about the end result but Eddie’s having thoughts, interesting thoughts.
moth to a flame by brewrosemilk / @gayhoediaz Teen | 1.7k Eddie’s kiss is so gentle that Buck aches.
coax the cold right out of me by oklahoma / @sunshinediaz Teen | 2.6k “You know,” Eddie begins, running his fingers through Buck’s damp, frizzy curls, “when I booked this cabin for the weekend, I had plans for us to fuck real nasty by the fire.”
I’ll be anybody but me by justhockey Not rated | 3.4k Just one single moment, and his house of cards almost came tumbling down. Buck shouldn’t be surprised though, he’s never been much of a magician; no matter how hard he tries, he’s never been able to make himself disappear.
The spaces in between by sparkles_stars Teen | 4.4k Buck and Eddie get curiously domestic, pine a little, and ultimately - with sweetness and light - get together.
5k-10k
in the rough draft, [s]he loved you by iinryer / @iinryerGeneral audiences | 5.3k during the flight home to LA, eddie tries to write down some things he wants to say to buck
reachin for me (makin love to someone else) by inbetweenthestacks / @organizedstardustExplicit | 8.3k Buck says Eddie’s name while having sex with Natalia.
I wanna spend my forever like that by wikiangela / @wikiangelaGeneral Audience | 8.6k Eddie catches a cold and stubbornly denies he's sick, while a fondly exasperated Buck is trying to take care of him.
Friends Don't by chronicallystendan Teen | 8.7k Eddie and Buck have always been closer than most best friends and it's never bothered them, but lately they've been starting to wonder if there might be more than just friendship between them.
10k-20k
Claxons and Silver Bells by catwalksalone Teen | 10.5k Eddie dies. Only someone, somewhere is willing to give him a second chance. All he has to do is figure out where he went wrong the first time around.
Don't Listen When I Scream by devirnis / @devirnis Mature | 10.9k The man shoves Buck into the chair. Picking a hunting knife up from the tray, he points it at Eddie. “If you fight back or try to escape, I will slit his throat before you can even blink. Understand?”
Why Not Take All of Me? by Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars Mature | 13.2k When a small disaster strikes the morning of Maddie and Chimney's wedding, Buck, Hen, and Chim find themselves unwittingly caught up in an emergency across town, while Maddie and Eddie get stuck in an elevator.
it hurts to hope for more by 42hrb Mature | 15.6k Buck wants to be a dad, it takes a couple break-ups and a major non-romantic heartbreak for him to figure out that maybe he already is.
30k +
you still make sense to me by farfromthstars / @buckactuallys Mature | 31.1k eddie is ready for a new relationship – but why does it never feel right? buck has a lot to work through, and doing that comes with a few realizations.
and here, too, am i by Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars Teen | 41.1k Six months into their marriage, Eddie is still struggling to decide whether or not he wants more kids, when he knows Buck does. The universe may not scream, but it certainly talks.
Both Blade and Branch by Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars Mature | 62.8k The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back.
Month 1 (May 15 - June 15) Month 2 (June 16 - July 15) Month 3 (July 16 - August 15) Month 4 (August 16 - September 15) Month 5 (September 16 - October 15) Month 6 (October 16 - November 15)
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loveyourownsmiilee · 1 year
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Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.12
How is everyone?!? Did we all survive?!? I know for a damn fact that this episode was such a long time coming and it was done so well. We were so well fed this episode and I don’t think I’m going to get over all the Buddie goodness we got. It really does show that they’re slowly working their way towards Buddie becoming canon and I for one am so thrilled by it! There’s a lot to discuss about these two tonight, so I’m just going to get right into it.
Maddie Buckley’s Brigade
I love me some good ole Buckley siblings content! It was so nice to see Maddie fussing over her little brother especially since he is alive and well enough for her to fuss over. These scenes were definitely needed in tonight’s episode because of one reason and one reason only and that is to highlight the massive difference in how Buck is around the other people in his life and how he is around Eddie.
When Maddie is fussing over her little brother, cooking him food and whatnot, he reassures her that he “Is fine”. We all know when we tell people we’re fine that we are not in fact fine lol. His sister doesn’t believe him but she leaves him be because she knows he can be a stubborn bull. So she starts sending in reinforcements because she wants her brother to know he is loved and cared for, which is honestly such a beautiful gesture.
Before we get to Buck’s other sister, we see Buck laying on his new couch that his mother must’ve chosen for him. It’s so important to focus on how stiffly he’s laying down. You see him mentally trying to calm himself down by taking in deep breaths but the discomfort is clear as day on his face. He can’t fall asleep because he can’t relax on the damn thing. Thankfully he is saved when he hears someone knocking, ok pounding, his door.
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I really love what they’ve done with Hen and Buck’s friendship this season. They’ve almost cemented them as this close brother-sister pairing because Buck needed someone who isn’t Eddie, to rely on for certain things. And I think, as I’ve mentioned in my previous metas, that this friendship will be great help to Buck when he has other things that he’ll be trying to work through in the near future. The key difference is that Hen is actually viewed as a best friend to Buck, as you can see how fondly but friendly he looks at her speaking. He’s not actually making eye contact but basking in Hen’s voice, even if he’s a tad bit exasperated. This is such a huge difference to how he looks at Eddie later on in the episode, which is exactly why I wanted to include it here.
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Hen, just like Maddie, is concerned over Buck’s well-being and asks him about his visit with his cardiologist. Once again, he tries to reassure Hen but doesn’t sound convincing. He’s avoiding eye contact which indicates him keeping his true feelings from her and I think Hen knows that he’s not really being honest with her.
H: You think it’s gonna be bad news?
B: Thats the thing, I don’t uh, I don’t know. I mean I really do, I uh feel fine.
H: But?
B: But I also felt pretty good right before I got struck by lightning.
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Now just to refresh everyone’s memory (as if anyone can even forget) what exactly happened right before he got up on that ladder?!?! Oh yeah of course, Eddie calling him cowboy in that cute flirty way he does. Coincidentally that was also the very first thing Buck remembered when he woke up in his coma dream. He looked back at Eddie and that was the last thing he really saw, the thing that made him feel pretty good before he got struck. This just further confirms that Eddie is always on Buck’s mind, even if it’s not the most obvious thing. Hen probably didn’t know what he was talking about and sure he could be talking about anything really. But the fact that Eddie said that to him, and that was the first thing he remembered in his coma tells me that it made a definite lasting impression on Buck.
Buck Runs To His Safe Place, Eddie
I will never be over this scene. There’s just so much goodness that came from Buck running to the one person he knows will be there to welcome him with open arms at any given time. The one person who he can be his true self with. As Buck once told Eddie, “You don’t have to pretend with me.” Well Eddie is the only person Buck doesn’t have to pretend with either which is why we had those scenes with everyone else checking in with Buck to show how different things are with Eddie.
First of all, Buck went to Eddie. Eddie has been giving him space and knows that Buck knows he can come to Eddie at any given time. I love how the moment Eddie opens the door and sees Buck, we get that soft little smile that is only meant for Buck. The little breath he lets out shows how immediately calm he is upon seeing Buck. His entire demeanor changes really in a split second. This is literally the definition of a man who’s at least a little bit in love.
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The way Buck just walks in and immediately goes to Eddie couch, puts his shoe clad feet up on the table, and gets comfortable really does drive home the whole “This is Eddie’s house. I’m not really a guest” thing. And the fact that Eddie just lets him do as he pleases because he also knows that this is a safe place for Buck, really proves how close these two are. People can complain all they want about the lack of Buddie scenes. But the quality scenes, like tonight’s, really do tell us that these two are something else. They’re not just your average best friends and it’s further shown when Eddie just lets Buck be.
E: Hey.
B: Please don’t ask me how I am.
E: Okay. You want a beer?
B: Probably more than one.
E: Guess all that company must’ve wore you out.
This exchange just shows that there is never a moment in which Eddie tells Buck no. He just accepts him for who he is and doesn’t ever push him. Buck tells him not to ask how he’s doing, Eddie just takes it for what it is and agrees. This is a great example of a strong partnership. They just know each other so well that nothing needs to be questioned. You just are there for your partner and be what they need you to be in that moment, something that Eddie did in that scene. He also proves that Buck and Eddie talk and discuss things. Eddie knew that Buck had a lot of visitors. Sure he could’ve known that from Maddie but we know from previous episodes that these two always talk and know things about the other that their other friends don’t know.
It’s very interesting that this episode was written by Andrew, who also wrote 6.01. We see the Genuine brand beer they were drinking during their family dinner in 6.01. And he was the brilliant mastermind behind the whole couch metaphor!! Literally as Eddie is coming back with the beers, he sees Buck comfortably sleeping on his couch!! Buck, who had to mentally prep himself to sleep on the couch in his own loft, fell asleep on Eddie’s old couch within seconds of sitting down. That’s because of the level of trust that’s there. He trusts Eddie and knows that he can just fall asleep in his presence and know that he’ll be safe the entire time. It’s also the familiarity of the couch that made it easy for him to fall asleep on. He’s slept on it many times before and it’s familiar to him. It’s his couch!!!
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I think one of Eddie’s love languages is acts of service because you can see him opening up the beer bottle that he was going to give to Buck before he sees him asleep. He knows Buck is capable of opening a bottle himself, but it’s the small thoughtful things like that, that truly makes me crazy with how damn soft Eddie is. How damn gone he is on Buck. Also he’s so cute with the little cheers thing. It reminds me of his whole “Go team” in 4.12 😂
Lastly, the final scene where the camera pans from Eddie to Buck is super important when it comes to foreshadowing what’s to come. Buck is laid there asleep, but he has his left arm hung on the back of the couch. The way this is framed shows that there’s meant to be someone that fits right underneath that arm. Someone who’s going to fit there perfectly. I think this is foreshadowing the end of this season where he finally realizes who his perfect couch is and how it’s been there this entire time, right underneath his nose. I can just so perfectly see one of the final scenes in the finale being Buck sitting on this same couch, with Eddie right next to him. Buck’s arm is wrapped around Eddie’s shoulders and we are left with the confirmation that he finally knows who he wants. I don’t know just how exactly things will play out, but I will say the framing of that final moment definitely makes it seem like there’ll be someone there sitting next to him on that couch in the near future!
Buck and Eddie Have a Heart to Heart In The Kitchen
I cannot. I cannot. I have not recovered at all from this scene nor do I anticipate recovering from it for many months to come. I have just one word that sums it all up and that is DOMESTIC.
We get Buck waking up from his little nap and he looks around and is immediately reassured with his surroundings because it’s home to him. He immediately seeks Eddie out and finds him in the heart of the home, the kitchen. I’m still screaming about the fact that these two finally had a long awaited heart to heart in the heart of their home.
B: How did I pass out so fast?
E: You fell asleep before I got the beers out of the refrigerator.
B: Sorry.
E: No worries. You still want that beer?
B: Uh, maybe some water.
E: Agua on the way.
B: Thank you.
E: Here you go sir.
So much to unpack here. First of all we get confirmation that Buck passing out that quickly was because he just felt safe and comfortable in Eddie’s presence and his home. Eddie breaking out his Spanglish was so cute because he’s just being his silly little self and not putting on a facade in front of Buck. When he calls Buck sir, it’s meant to keep things light. Eddie knows how his partner is feeling and he doesn’t want to add more to it. So he sticks to what he knows and engages in a light tone.
Something to pay attention to is how Eddie keeps glancing over at Buck. He’s packing his son’s lunch but keeps looking over every few seconds. He does it so softly too that there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that he’s looking at him with such fondness. Now I think it’s because he’s giving Buck the space he needs to gather what he wants to say to him. But I also think he’s doing it to reassure himself that Buck is alive and well. That he’s in front of Eddie and that Eddie didn’t really lose him like he thought. Let’s all remember how horribly Eddie took Buck being in a coma. The man couldn’t even look at him when he usually can’t look away. The kitchen scene is prime example of Eddie not being able to look away once again.
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As Eddie waits for Buck to say something, I don’t think he was fully prepared for the conversation they had.
B: Hey what do you remember about getting shot?
Eddie immediately looks away from Buck at the mention of the shooting. He deflects and tries to hide from Buck. He realizes just then that he can’t really run away and that he’s been working on being more open about things, especially in the presence of Buck. So Eddie tells him the truth. Well as much of it as he can without giving too much away.
E: There was this searing pain. Felt like I got hit by a bus. I was still standing. I remember falling, everything got dark.
He shakes his head while looking away from Buck, which clearly shows that he’s trying to forget about what he felt in that moment. It’s hard to relive trauma and that’s what he was doing then. But then he looks right into Buck’s eyes as he says:
E: And I thought, this is it.
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He holds contact with Buck’s eyes as he continues to describe the feelings he had as he lay there dying.
E: This is the last moment of my life. Then I woke up in the hospital.
B: And that was it?
Buck is kind of questioning Eddie here because a part of him can sense that Eddie is hiding something. And he is hiding something. He’s hiding his true feelings and thoughts during the moment he got shot. He’s not fully prepared to deal with those feelings and what he realized as he was laying there fighting for his last breath. It’s all in the avoidance of eye contact as he tries to come up with a believable story. I was always under the impression that getting shot was Eddie’s “oh” moment and seeing him hiding his true feelings from that day further proves that.
E: That was it. No bright white lights, no trippy mind puzzles. Just thought I was dead and then I wasn’t.
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Eddie really tries to make Buck believe the story he’s come up with but the one thing he forgets is that this is Buck. Buck is the one person who probably knows Eddie better than he does. So with Buck looking at Eddie with his brows scrunched, you know he’s not really buying what Eddie is trying to sell him. Or that he’s trying to but doesn’t quiet believe it fully. There’s so much that they’re still not discussing and I don’t know if it’s because Eddie isn’t ready to tackle those big feelings he has for Buck or if he thinks Buck isn’t ready just yet to hear them. Either way, this entire moment convinced me that Eddie is aware of what he feels for Buck and probably has been since that moment he got shot and he tried to reach for Buck. He literally wanted Buck to be the last person he sees before he made his peace with death. Just like how Eddie was the last thing on Buck’s mind before he died after the lightning strike. Such delicious deliberate choices are continuously being made.
We all know how Eddie is with feelings. I will say it’s so amazing to see him opening up like this, and not running or hiding behind his son. You can clearly tell that therapy has been doing wonders for Eddie. But one thing that is still a part of him is the fact to divert attention away from him, and on to the other people, he loves and cares for, which in this instance is Buck. He was honest with Buck so then he wanted honesty in return.
E: So now am I allowed to ask how you are?
The softness and delicacy in his voice when he asks Buck this really kills me. He’s been dying to ask. We all know how much he cares about him and he had been giving Buck what he wanted. But he’s not the type to just sit there and not check in. So he asks after he himself opens up about his trauma because he can’t anymore. This is such a domestic moment between partners. I’ve seen my own parents care for each other’s well being like this. His voice is laced with utter love and you can tell he’s not teasing anymore. He genuinely wants to know and he knows that Buck will be honest with him because that’s how their relationship works.
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B: Uh, honestly Eddie, I uh, I don’t know.
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This is the first and only time we see Buck truly be honest about how he’s feeling. He doesn’t default to the “fine” he’s been telling everyone else. This is his Eddie, his person. He’s not going to lie to him. A wonderful parallel just in this episode was how Bobby mentions that Athena helps him feel like he’s on solid ground. Well who made Buck feel like that in this episode? Oh yes the person he literally ran to for safety 🥹 I also want to note how the way he’s looking at Eddie is literally so soft and his eyes hold so much love in them. It’s very romantic because he’s not putting on an act and he’s truly letting himself be. You can’t compare this look he’s giving Eddie to the platonic one he gave Hen earlier in the episode. This one contains so much depth and love in his eyes that really makes you rethink how these two can be platonic (they’re not).
E: You died Buck.
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The sheer heartache you can hear in those three words sends chills down my body. He’s clearly still so affected by Buck dying. He can’t even look at Buck when he says that and he scrunches up his face like he’s in physical pain. And in a way, he was and still is because half of his heart died and he had to live in a world without him for 3 minutes. He was the one that brought him back to life, and we are not thinking about the effect that had on Eddie. Then he had to sit there and wait to see if he would come back to them. It’s a hard thing watching your significant other suffer in pain especially when they’re comatose and hooked up to so many machines. So there’s clearly a lot of unresolved issues that Eddie is struggling within himself because of Buck’s injury.
I found Eddie’s advice to Buck to be a work of art. He’s clearly learning from therapy and opening himself to feeling things. He’s not the same Eddie from season 3 where he told his team that Buck should be a man and men don’t cry bla bla.
E: You’re gonna feel a lot of different ways about that. Sometimes all at the same time. I found the best way to process it is to… allow yourself to feel it.
Now Eddie can be speaking about his own personal brush with death but he can also be referring to what he’s going through in that moment with how he’s dealing with the fact that Buck died. I think in this moment, the viewer can interpret it one of two ways. Because sure he could be talking about how he dealt with his own almost death, but I feel like the pain that’s etched on his face is of something a little bit more recent.
B: Which you do eventually right? You process it. 
E: Everyday you open your eyes in the morning, you feel a little less surprised the world’s still there.
Some thing about the words that Eddie was saying, made me think of Lev from the happiness convention. Pair that with Buck seeking answers and reassurance from Eddie because he’s scared and we’re kinda back to him seeking answers to what makes him happy. I will say, however, that it is very refreshing to see Eddie really talk about feelings and really be there for Buck during his recovery process. That whole kitchen scene paralleled when Buck was there for Eddie’s breakdown last season and it’s honestly crazy how similar they are. Like I keep saying, deliberate choices continue to be made and it’s all slowly coming together.
Eddie and Buck Share A Cardiologist
I loved that Eddie’s cardiologist from last season was back as Buck’s. Their interaction was important because we finally see Buck not being impatient to go back to work. He’s scared and he’s being cautious and he doesn’t want to die on the job, again. It’s wonderful character development for sure.
B: Hey you um see people who’ve been through near death experiences all the time right?
Dr. S: It’s an unfortunately large percentage of my clientele.
B: What happens to them after? They just go back to their same old lives, go back to being the same old people?
Dr. S: Some do. They tell me that almost dying, makes them appreciate what they have. But for others, they’ll walk out of my office and decide to quit their job or leave their spouse. And for some reason a lot of them want to go to Italy.
The reason I want to bring this up is because once again Buck is seeking answers in other people. He’s terrified and doesn’t know what he’s meant to learn from this near death experience. I think it was deliberately done where Dr. Salazar mentions the things she does. I say this because we know Buck isn’t going to quit his job and he doesn’t have a spouse to leave. That leaves the first thing she mentions which is appreciating what he has. I think this foreshadows what’s to come for his journey in the remainder of this season. I think we’re all working towards Buck accepting the people he already has in his life and understand that he’s had the perfect couch in the form of Eddie and Chris this entire time. To further back up these claims, she continues to explain by using a water analogy. Water in which ties Buck, Eddie and Christopher together…
Dr. S: Water finds its own level. People do too. Recovery is a bumpy road, but eventually everyone finds their equilibrium.
Finding your equilibrium is basically finding that perfect balance in your life. The things that make you happy and make you feel at ease, kind of like the journey Buck has been on. It was perfect because it further foreshadows him figuring out who he needs in his life in terms of a potential life partner. Someone who levels him and we all know who that person is ☺️
Buck Tells Maddie To Stop Trying To Fix Him
I love any and all Buckley siblings’ scenes and I think it was funny how the one who is always trying to fix everything went to his sister and told her to stop trying to fix him.
The conversation between these two was eye opening because of what was being said.
M: Whatever it is you’re feeling, you don’t have to hide it.
B: When I wake up and I mean like every single time, I have this checklist now that I run in my head. Like a way to test. I’m really here…Never night in my coma dream.”
The specific word choices of not having to “hide” what he is “feeling” makes me think we’ll come to see a time where Buck tries to hide his real feelings from a certain someone. I don’t know how to explain it but that wording wouldn’t be just thrown in there if not for a later more impactful purpose.
The thing with Buck’s checklist is that it really shows how he is struggling with the aftermath of his injury. He’s living in this world scared. But the only time we didn’t see him doing a mental checklist is when he woke up at Eddie’s. He immediately knew he was alive and where he was. Didn’t struggle at all because he knew he could seek Eddie, who was only a room away. It was also nighttime. Throughout the episode, anytime anyone visited Buck or he visited someone it was during the day. He only went to Eddie’s at night. There’s got to be a reason for that checklist moment with Maddie in the end and why the fact that it was never nighttime in his coma dream was emphasized. The same coma dream in which was missing an Eddie Diaz. The same Eddie Diaz that he now wakes up to and doesn’t feel that fear he feels when he’s by himself. This show is doing something. It’s slowly starting to plant those seeds and have the Buddie tree grow by the end of this season and I really do think with everything we were given, especially in this episode, that it’s a big inevitability on these two getting together romantically. It’s only a matter of time now friends until these two idiots realize what they’ve been wanting has been in front of them this entire time! I, for one, can’t wait to see their story continue to unfold.
Once again, if you’ve read all of this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am really proud of this week’s meta and I couldn’t have done it without the lovely @aa-lionheart for all her help 💜 if you’d like to be added to my tag list for these weekly metas, please let me know here! I look forward to seeing how these next few episodes unfold with these two!!
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spotsandsocks · 2 years
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A Moment Worth Waiting For
Chapt 6
of Moments From Now To Forever From the start Read on AO3 (3.4K rated G)
Tagging this last Chapt for,some people who liked the snippets I’ve shared on this and previous chapt @loveyourownsmiilee @jacksadventuresinwriting @elvensorceress
“Time?”
“Buck!” Maddie sounds equal parts exasperated and amused, “it’s been two minutes since you asked.”
He stops pacing and looks at her, “but I want to go get married.”
Maddie’s laugh echoes round the room, “I know, but there’s an hour and 28 minutes to go.”
He collapses onto her couch. That seems entirely too long to him. Maddie’s tries to ruffle his hair and he catches her wrist, “no way, took me ages to get it like this” 
She leans down to kiss his cheek instead. “you look very handsome, Eddie won’t be able to take his eyes off you.” 
Her fingers rub his cheek as his eyes well up,“I just love him so much Maddie, sometimes I can’t….” His voice fails and he blinks rapidly.
“I know,” she says softly, then more lightly “Good job too because you're marrying him in one hour and 26 minutes.”
His first glimpse of Eddie is the back of his head, walking towards the venue with Chris.
Eddie turns and Buck smiles at how handsome his fiancé is but what really strikes him is the smile on his face. Buck watches from the car, Eddie’s looking at Chris and beaming, then Bobby appears and claps him on the shoulder. Bobby says something and Eddie nods, his smile widening, Buck watches them hug and part with more smiles and pats on the back. 
His heart swells, it’s their wedding day and Eddie is smiling like he has everything he’s ever wanted. 
He has to blink again. If he gets through today without bawling his eyes out it’ll be a miracle.
Maddie taps on the car window and he startles.
“Ready?” 
He is, he’s never been more ready for anything. 
He delivers his vows without a hitch which is more than he’d expected, Eddie’s eyes were soft and warm throughout and he’d caught the tear that escaped as he explained what Eddie meant to him.
Now he’s waiting because Eddie needs a moment. He watches him swallow hard and worry at his lip. Buck squeezes his hand, he’s happy to wait, honestly he’d wait forever for this man.
Eddie closes his eyes and Buck’s name slips out from between his lips, soft and gentle, like the start of a prayer said just for him. When those eyes open he can hardly breathe because of what he sees within them. Eddie’s voice is still just for him as he whispers “I love you so much.” 
Then Buck watches Eddie’s chest rise with the breath he needs to declare that love to the the world. 
“Buck, you appeared in my life and everything got better; day after day, year after year, you were there for me, someone I could count on. You have no idea how much that meant to me, that on my worst days I could reach out and you were there. I never even needed to ask. 
Even before we knew it was love you helped me believe tomorrow could be better than today. You helped me build a better life, for me, for Chris. I met you and suddenly I wasn’t doing it on my own anymore. Christopher didn’t just have me, he had you. I’ll never know how I got so lucky that you became ours.
I wish I had more words to say how I feel. I’ve tried to find the right ones so many times but I don’t think I’ve ever quite got it right, maybe that’s because they don’t exist.  All the things I feel about you, I don’t think any words can do that justice.
So I’ve decided I’ll  just have to show you, every day for the rest of our lives, I’ll show you how much you mean to me, how much I love you today, tomorrow and forever.”
Eddie finishes and his smile lights up the room. 
Bobby tells them to kiss but he’s too late because Buck’s already closed the gap between them and taken his first kiss as Eddie’s husband. There may be cheers from their friends, he’s not sure because all he knows is Eddie's mouth is on his and he gets to have this today, tomorrow and forever.
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sopheliza25 · 3 years
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reachgirl · 3 years
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On Buddie and them potentially being aware of their feelings
So we definitely see evidence of how Eddie might feel about Buck, how he clearly loves and trusts him. He absolutely relies on Buck a lot as someone who loves Christopher, as that person you go to who cares about your kid as much as you do. And he clearly doesn’t handle not having Buck around very well during the storyline that must not be named. 
He also looks at Buck like “you’re lucky you’re pretty”, a LOT. And he’s shown to think about Buck’s wellbeing and Buck’s feelings. For a guy who’s not usually great at ~the talking~, he seems to sense that Buck needs to hear him actually *say* things like that he trusts him, out loud. For Buck, someone who’s been told that he’s reckless and impulsive, not diligent, not reliable (and to be fair to Bobby, has been all those things at times, but is desperate to change that view of himself), to be told that he’s trusted - more than anyone else - with someone’s kid? That’s huge. And Eddie knew that he needed to hear that, he also knew that he needed to feel like part of something when Buck was depressed and hanging around at home after the truck bombing. And Eddie was the one who noticed Buck wasn’t around at the station. For Eddie, the fact that they “have each other’s backs” is so important, because, and it’s insane how this is not wishful thinking on the fandom’s part, he actually tells Shannon that she doesn’t have his back. So yeah, absolutely nobody is disputing that Eddie loves Buck.
And I’ve talked about how I believe that Eddie might be bi leaning towards more into men than women (his “not my type” and aunt pepa’s reaction to buck are the foundation for this theory), and his particular combination of upbringing, experience and location really messing with him admitting that to himself (Conservative religious culture, Texas, army, getting married young because of outside expectations). But many of the scenes we get from him could - FROM THE OUTSIDE - very well just show a guy who has a lot of love and respect (and occasionally some fond exasperation) for his best friend. Possibly more, but not in that active, pining way. Not like he’s truly aware of it, yet.
But Buck? He pretty much always looks at Eddie like he’s the best thing that has happened to him, ever, and he can’t believe his luck of getting to be around this man. The smile he constantly gives him, and - in seasons 2 and 3 - only him, is the actual “I want to sleep with you smile” from season 1 Buck. I don’t make the rules.
He constantly finds ways to help him out, reads up on things he knows Eddie is interested in or things that are for some reason something Eddie is dealing with (whether it’s baseball biographies or summer camp brochures), and absolutely always looks to him for approval anytime he does something well or remotely badass. Or even when he makes a joke. It’s almost like 95% of the stuff he does, he does so that Eddie will see.
He sees himself as part of Eddie’s family to the point of not feeling like he’s a guest at their house, he has proven he would actually die for Chris, and he spends much of his free time finding ways of making Chris, the most important person in Eddie’s life, happy. He shares in both the happy and the difficult parts of raising Chris, he gets involved in school problems, and he’s there for Eddie to talk through all the little things that come up when you’re a parent. Often times, with single parents, when the other parent isn’t around, the problem is that there’s nobody else in your life who shares the same love and enthusiasm or worry you have for your child. You could talk about everything relating to them for hours, but even the best meaning friends will at some point reach the limit of how interested they are. Not so with Buck.
But unlike Eddie, Buck is also aware, to a point, of how much he’s focused on Eddie. Where Eddie’s jealousy comes across as more spur-of-the-moment, not something he’s even aware of, Buck seems like.. he’s thought about how he feels about Eddie. Others definitely have. Maddie’s comment about his “man crush” aside, even a random christmas elf (long may she live) comments on it. Hen and Karen immediately agree Buck would invite Eddie, like, Karen knows about this even. Their reaction when Buck is acting irrational over how they might get Eddie out when he’s buried alive and most likely dead already is that reaction of “Oh fuck, this will break this person” that is usually reserved for the significant other or parent. Bobby definitely reacts to Buck in relation to Eddie the way a father would, carefully weighing being amused at how obvious he’s being, and concern over not wanting him to get hurt doing something stupid trying to save Eddie, or by falling for him when it might not be reciprocated. They all know that Buck’s a little (more than) smitten with Eddie. And Buck... of course he’s going to notice how his friends and family react. I think he’s been aware of it for a while and is constantly trying to navigate and balance this. 
Of course he hasn’t told his face about balancing anything at all yet, because look at that man’s face any time he looks at Eddie, look at that scene with the medal. He absolutely can’t help it. And sometimes it’s like he wants them to pick up on it - for example, pushing Maddie on the fact that he doesn’t consider himself a guest. And that’s completely understandable, sometimes you want people to pick up on something and maybe even comment on it (because their reaction reaffirms to you that maybe you’re not crazy) while also not wanting attention on that point. People are complicated like that. And Buck may be a himbo, but he’s complicated AF.
We get Buck being really weird about Eddie and Shannon in general - right off the bat. When Shannon shows up at the station and she and Eddie talk, Buck’s in the background and overhears that they’re sleeping together. He clearly struggles with this information, (and Chim possibly notices..) then he get’s real petty about them potentially getting married again (”Maybe you can get a discount”) - and he nopes out of the situation as quickly as he can - because he doesn’t want to risk saying anything snarky.
Then Chim and Buck go christmas tree shopping, and Chim comments on how Buck can’t let Eddie’s situation with Shannon go, and it’s true, he can’t stop himself. But when Eddie asks him for advice in front of the fountain (/metaphorical water penis as I like to call it), he’s suddenly all “I didn’t think it was my business” ... ok, sure, Buck. Then he basically tells Eddie to try and make it work with Shannon. In terms of character development, in a romance, this is the part where person A wants to be with person B but doesn’t think they have a chance, so makes the choice to try and settle for being their friend, which, heartbreakingly, involves pushing them into the arms of someone else.
Also, his kind of “oversharing” of Eddie’s situation with Ana to the rest of the team is, to me, a pretty clear indicator that the topic makes him uncomfortable and he’s trying a Ross Geller-I’m making Fajitas- “let’s show everyone how very completely normal I feel about this” approach, which.. it doesn’t.. work that well. And when does this ever work, it’s super easy to see through this, and it usually just serves to draw more attention to the fact that you’re uncomfortable with whatever is being discussed.
Buck also takes everything Eddie says to heart. Like, fucking takes it and will not let go of it. Half a season after Eddie tells him that he makes everything about himself, he breaks down telling Maddie he’s worried he’s making the situation with the old firefighter about himself again. During the kitchen scene (or “The actual how-to-guide of what to do when you thought the guy you have a crush on doesn’t reciprocate but then you have a fight and he really doesn’t handle being away from you so well so you kind of might as well see where being a little more openly flirty will get you”), Buck’s clearly thought about Eddie’s words from the grocery store fight, and he’s gonna call Eddie out. And maybe do other stuff.
Looking at what the writers are actually doing, to end the season, there’s the clawing at dirt of it all, Buck falling apart when Eddie’s buried alive. Buck being in almost all of Eddie’s memories when he’s close to dying. And Maddie’s comment about not wanting to set Josh up with Buck, which is innocent enough, but why throw that in on top of all of the above, if not because maybe what we’re actually looking at is that they’re setting up a sexuality crisis for Buck, and him realizing he’s maybe into Eddie, but Eddie not actually reciprocating (yet)? And say Buck is then somehow forcefully pushed to see the truth about how he feels, maybe by, i don’t know, coming across TK and/or Carlos on a call, and one of them asking him how long him and Eddie have been together? We might get Eddie with Ana, and a very long, drawn out process of Buck realizing what’s happening and trying to leave them alone, and Eddie being really confused about why Buck’s being like that. Then we would have two options (well, more, really, but these are two I like): 1) Eddie pushing Buck on that point and demanding an explanation and Buck just coming out with it because fuck it and sorry and please let me see Chris still 2) Buck’s sexuality crisis (or not crisis, if he’s always been pan/bi, which, look, nothing I’ve seen has disproven this theory) leading to him dating a guy and Eddie getting really jealous but not actually being aware of the fact what he feels is jealousy (because he doesn’t realize how he feels about Buck, see this whole essay you just read), and Buck being the one who confronts Eddie about why he’s being such a homophobic asshole about this, and Eddie straight up kissing him because he can’t not anymore.
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bright-molina · 3 years
Text
Emergency Contact
synopsis: Sometimes it takes an accident and the revelation that Buck is Luke's emergency contact to really bring the Buckley-Mercer (et al) Family to the same page.
fandoms: Julie and the Phantoms x 911
relationships/characters: Buckley!reader (gender neutral), Alex Mercer, Evan Buckley, Luke Patterson, Athena Grant, Maddie Buckley (all relationships are familial/platonic)
word count: 2503
warnings: mentions of minor injuries (and I mean minor, sprained ankle, minor concussion is all)
a/n: @biqherosix surprise! Catch me pushing the Buckley-Mercer family agenda cause I can. For anyone wondering, we're running with the idea that they're cousins. I honestly have no idea where this came from, I wrote it at like midnight yesterday. And it only figures that the first thing I post in forever is a crossover that is mostly self-indulgent but I promise I'm trying to get the hang of things again.
For those of y'all that haven't seen 911 but still wanna read: one, I appreciate you so much oh my gosh, two, I highly recommend it and three, all you really need to know for this one is that Buck is a firefighter with the 118, Athena Grant is a police officer, and Maddie is Buck's older sister and a 911 dispatcher. If I missed anything and you wanna know feel more than free to ask!
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The absolute last thing you expected was your phone ringing well past midnight.
“Don’t answer it.”
Alex’s voice sounded from beside you, muffled by the pile of blankets he was buried under. You rolled your eyes and reached for your phone only to have him snatch it out of your grip and stuff it under the blankets alongside him.
“Give it back!”
“No,” Alex crossed his arms tighter, ignoring the second ring completely. “It’s probably Buck checking to see if we’ve gone to sleep yet, if you answer he’ll know we’re still up.”
“Like Buck would voluntarily be up right now. He’s fifteen hours into a twenty four hour shift,” You leaned back against the couch, knowing there was no tearing the phone away from Alex. “Will you at least check who it is to make sure it’s not Maddie?”
Alex groaned, loud and exaggerated, before sticking his head underneath his blankets to check your phone. You were just barely able to hear his panicked ‘uh oh’ before he put on his best fake tired voice and answered, “Hello?”
“Alexander Mercer, what are you doing awake at this hour?”
“I wasn’t awake.”
“Sure you weren’t. Give the phone to y/n.”
He was handing you the phone in a flash and you could see his wide eyes in the dim blue light coming from the living room tv. “It’s Athena.”
“Thanks, I heard. And I told you so,” You smacked him with your pillow when he stuck his tongue out and he quickly ducked back under the blankets. Whether he was hiding from you or Athena was up for debate. “Hi Athena.”
“Y/N,” Uh oh was right. You recognized the tone in her voice immediately. Exasperated and tired with a little bit of worry laced through. “You wouldn’t be able to get ahold of Buck would you?”
“I could,” You sat up straighter and Alex peeked out from under the blankets again, craning his neck to listen in on the conversation. “Is something wrong? Can’t you call Captain Nash?”
“I could,” Athena echoed your words back to you and you heard muffled shouting in the back. “But Captain Nash isn’t Luke’s emergency contact.”
“His what!”
“It’s not a big deal!” Luke’s voice. It was him who had been shouting. “I’m fine!”
“The cast you’re wearing says different,” There was a click on the other end of the line and Alex tripped over the discarded blankets and pillows as he rushed to look for the car keys. “We couldn’t reach him and Maddie was his second emergency contact but May said she went home early today.”
“Yeah, uh, she -” You put on your shoes as fast as possible and reached for the nearest sweater, one you were sure wasn’t yours. “Jee’s teething so she - she’s probably busy with her. What happened? Luke -”
“Is fine. You just focus on getting to the station and bringing Buck to Med cause he’s gotta fill out some papers. I’ll stay here with him until you do.”
“Okay. Okay we’ll be there soon.”
“Y/N put me on speaker,” Athena must’ve been able to hear the panic in your voice. She knew both you and Alex well enough to know every emotion that was running through you both at that moment. “I want both of you to listen to me. Luke is okay. A little scratched up. Maybe a bruised ego. But he’s just fine, I promise you.”
If there was anybody you trusted it was Athena Grant. So you and Alex shared a look, thanked her, and sprinted out of the apartment wondering what on earth Luke had gotten himself into.
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“What do you mean you don’t know!”
“Athena didn’t tell us anything!” You shouted right back at Buck despite knowing it probably wasn’t the best idea given the time or the circumstances. Alex was a few feet away, talking quietly to Chimney to have him relay a message to Maddie. She’d be less angry if the news came from him.
“I thought he went back home,” Buck shook his head before jogging down the stairs and you followed him. He all but charged to the locker room and started shoving all his things in the duffel he always carted with him from the apartment to the station and back. “I thought he was okay.”
It wasn’t until then, until you caught a glimpse of his reflection in the little mirror in his locker surrounded by pictures, that you realized something. Evan Buckley, the firefighter, your brother who always seemed so fearless, was scared.
Buck’s mind was racing at a million miles an hour. He kept going through every piece of information he could from the last two days. Luke had promised him. Sworn he was going back home to his parents. He should’ve known better. They were too much alike and he should’ve known better.
He supposed the worrying came with the territory. The anxiety and panic and not knowing were all things he didn’t like but things he would bear if it meant making sure one of his own was okay.
He had always been protective. You were the youngest Buckley and he took it upon himself to make sure you had a better life than him and Maddie had had. Alex was family and he didn’t hesitate to give him a home when he needed one, metaphorically and literally.
And somewhere along the way the Buckley-Mercer family had grown without him realizing it. Alex had brought his band, his friends, over for dinner once and from that moment on they became a fixture in his life.
Bobby, who was surprised the first time Maddie grinned and hugged him, telling him how proud she was of him. Reggie, who was the first to accept a place in their makeshift home, needing the support and love they offered more than anything. And Luke, who was stubborn and wore his heart on his sleeve and fit right in with them.
And Buck couldn’t believe he had let them down. He couldn’t believe that he tried so hard to let Luke know he was there for him and he had failed. If he had just paid a little more attention then -
“I know what you’re thinking,” Your voice cut off his thoughts and he paused for a moment before continuing.
“No you don’t.”
“You’re blaming yourself. It’s what you always do,” You watched as he pocketed his phone and zipped up the bag. “It’s what you did when I thought I could jump off the swing and ended up with a broken arm even though you couldn’t have stopped me. It’s what you did when Alex had that really bad allergic reaction even though none of us knew he was allergic in the place. It’s what you’re doing now.”
Buck slammed the locker shut without meaning to and silently wondered how you seemed to know everything about him when he seemed to know nothing about any of you, not really. He wasn’t like you or Maddie or Alex and that had never been more clear.
“I’m not blaming myself. I just -” He sighed and walked out of the locker room, past you and Alex, and around to the drivers side of the car. He didn’t get in yet. Instead he glanced between the two of you. “I’m not Maddie. I don’t know how to tell what you guys are thinking. I don’t know how to do the things she does. I can’t help how she does. But - but maybe if I could then -”
“You’re right,” You cut him off, already knowing where he was going. “You’re not Maddie. But we don’t need another Maddie, we need Buck.”
“Y/N’s right,” Alex leaned against the top of the car and gave an easy shrug. “Maddie does family dinners every week and helps us with homework and keeps superhero bandaids around for when Reg and Bobby come back from the skate park with scrapes all over them. But you host game nights and come to every one of our practices when you’re not here and tell really bad jokes when you know we need to hear them.”
“They aren’t bad -”
“Yeah they are,” Both you and Alex answered in sync, successfully pulling the faintest laugh from Buck.
“You’re Buck,” You repeated and finally opened the door of the car. “And when Luke left home he came to you. Athena said you’re his emergency contact because he trusts you more than anyone else. We all do.”
It took less than a couple seconds for Buck to nod and get in the car, the two of you following his lead. Moments later he was speeding away from the 118 and in the direction of the hospital, determined to be where he was needed.
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“You’re an idiot, Luke Patterson.”
“Wow thanks,” Luke rolled his eyes from where he sat on the couch, an action that earned him a scolding from you, and kept picking at the fabric of the pillow he was holding to him.
It was nearing mid morning and you had all gotten back to Buck’s apartment only a short while ago. The combined insistence and intimidation coming from both Buck and Athena meant the doctors had no choice but to run as many tests as necessary until they were positive Luke was fine.
Your eyes scanned his face again, a habit you’d picked up from Maddie, in an attempt to assess the damage once more to be sure nothing had gone wrong in the last ten minutes.
A butterfly bandage on his forehead above his left eye. Some scrapes on his arms from the fall. The brace around his right ankle propped up on the coffee table and some pillows. A tear in his favorite flannel that you were already patching up.
“What were you thinking?” You sighed and dropped your hands, turning in your spot beside him to look at him and read all the expressions flashing across his face. “You got hit by a car, Luke.”
“I did not!” He flinched when Alex, fast asleep across the other couch, shifted a little at the noise. Buck did the same thing upstairs in the loft, though he recognized the sound of talking and opted to listen in. “I swerved out of the way. The bike lost control and I hit the pavement but I’m fine.”
“The mild concussion and sprained ankle beg to differ,” You stared again. Luke refused to meet your eyes, refused to look anywhere around the apartment that wasn’t the pillow on his lap. He’d been doing the same thing since Buck had nearly busted down the door of the room he’d been sitting in at the hospital. “What were you thinking?”
“I don’t know,” Luke finally sighed, knowing you wouldn’t let it go any time soon. “I just - I did go home. At first. And i-it was okay until my mom started doing that -that thing she does. The voice, talking down, asking when I was gonna start getting serious, telling me I should do better. I tried but she wouldn’t stop saying all of it so I -” His shoulders sank and his head hung low and you moved closer. “I left.”
“So why didn’t you come back here?” You reached out, hand on his arm in an attempt to get him to hear you. To listen to you. To talk to you. “What made you think you couldn’t?”
It took a few moments but when Luke finally looked up his eyes were watering and he looked unsure. He looked scared and he was never scared. “I didn’t want to disappoint anyone else.”
“I don’t know if you know this,” You gave a sigh and leaned against the back of the couch on one arm. “But we are, historically, a pretty messed up family.”
You successfully pulled a laugh from Luke and a muffled ‘shut up’ from Alex only made the two of you laugh more. But when the laughter faded away you were left with the ghost of those doubts. Present and needing closure. To be acknowledged and reassured.
“There is nothing you could do that would disappoint Maddie and Buck, believe me,” You gave him a faint, sad smile and for a second he wondered what memories were the source of it. “And you never have to be scared. We’re your family and we’re here for you. Me and Alex and Buck and Maddie. Athena who stayed with you until we got there and after. Chimney who’s breaking the news to Maddie to save us all. Albert. May. Bobby. Reggie. You have all of us. I hate to break it to you but you’re a part of our weird little family and we aren’t going anywhere any time soon. So please, please never feel like you have to hide from us. You’re home here, Luke.”
And he believed every word. For a moment he wondered why he ever doubted it in the first place. It was evident in the way he had a designated spot at the dining table at Maddie’s place. In the way his clothes took up a good amount of space in one of the dressers upstairs. In the pair of house keys that hung on a chain around his neck. Reggie and Bobby were also given a pair long ago.
“Does one of you want to explain to me what the hell happened!” The sound of the door being thrown open startled all of you. Alex sat up quickly and Buck came barreling down the stairs to meet Maddie at the door.
Bobby and Reggie came in after her, holding piles of various items she’d insisted on bringing with. They were followed moments later by Albert carrying bags filled with takeout and then Chimney with Jee-Yun in her car seat.
It was dead silent for a moment as Maddie looked between her siblings, her cousin, and the boy she considered one of her own. They were all her family and that was that.
Finally the silence was broken by Luke leaning over in your direction and quietly asking, “Hey, does home have a place I can hide from Maddie until she’s less mad?”
“Oh, Luke,” You offered him a smile he recognized as a slightly sympathetic yet playful one. “There is nowhere you can hide where Maddie’s anger, love, and aggressive post-injury nurturing won’t reach. Good luck.”
She sat in your spot the moment you stood up and was immediately making sure Luke was okay. Her eyes scanned each injury just as yours had and when she finally let him take a breath he looked around.
All of this, the chaos that was unpacking the various takeout boxes. Setting up a little station on the kitchen island with various medical supplies. Chasing Jee-Yun around as she crawled and wobbled all around the place. Music playing softly in the background as everyone smiled and talked and felt relieved that he was okay.
This was home. Luke was sure of it.
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half-bakedboy · 3 years
Text
All Too Well
Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz Rated: General Contains spoilers from season 5 episode 2: Desperate Times
Summary: “Is that enough?”
Buck spits the words right back, more venom that Eddie could have tried to muster. He doesn’t mean to. He really doesn’t. If anything, he had tried to keep his emotions at bay the second Ana’s name lingered between them.
But he does.
Because if that’s enough for Eddie, why doesn’t he love Buck?
Or a look inside Buck's head during their panic attack talk.
(read on ao3)
Buck has never been one to hesitate before talking to his best friend, but he sees Eddie with an arm over his face, lying down for the first time since Ana and Christopher left, and his feet feel like they’re stuck to the floor. 
He takes a few deep breaths, preparatory, anxiety-reducing, reminders that he’s breathing and that his best friend is hurting. He’s the one to make things better, to get Eddie through everything, so why is he hesitating? 
“Hey, are you sleeping or just pretending?” 
He knows the answer but is grateful when Eddie actually speaks. 
“I was actually trying to until you interrupted.”
Sarcasm, that’s— good. Buck isn’t sure when sass and thinly veiled annoyance became good but he isn’t about to overthink it like he has been for the last hour. 
“I’m exhausted,” Buck offers. He thinks that maybe if he shares something small, Eddie might be willing to give in return. “Uh, how are you feeling?” 
Buck knows the answer to this question, too, and he finds himself secretly hoping Eddie answers in sarcasm so he can truly convince himself that things are okay, that his hesitation was unwarranted.
“Hot,” Eddie drawls, “I’m sweating out of places I didn’t know I could.”
Well, Buck did ask for sarcasm. He didn’t expect the glint of arousal to strike through him like lightning, though. 
Or the quick jolt of panic as he rakes his eyes over Eddie’s body for nothing other than symptoms, an indication of what might be wrong because, for the first time since he’s met Eddie, he doesn’t know.  
“Not like a cold sweat though, right? Any chest pains?” 
Buck yearns to reach out, to feel Eddie’s pulse in his wrist, press a palm over his forehead to check for a fever. Hell, he would go grab a blood pressure cuff and EKG monitor from the ambulance if Hen and Chim wouldn’t yell at him. Buck considers it more than he should because he needs to know that Eddie’s really okay before he drives himself crazy. 
Eddie just stares, unimpressed. 
“You don’t give up, do you?” 
Nope, Buck thinks, though he wouldn’t risk saying it out loud. After a long exasperated sigh, Eddie relents, “I’m fine, Buck.” Like Buck is actually supposed to believe him or something. 
“People who are fine don’t go and see cardiologists,” Buck responds. 
He’s clutching the clipboard in his lap a little too tight and he feels it. The way his knuckles burn, the way his fingertips crease the papers he’s been pretending to focus on all day. He hopes Eddie doesn’t notice. He hopes that he does.
Because Eddie is a lot of things, but he isn’t oblivious. That oblivious. Buck sighs. 
“You need to tell me if something is wrong,” Buck finally says. 
It’s not a request, it’s an order. One that he’s not sure Eddie will follow, but one that he hopes will get the point across. 
Because Buck is scared.  
He’s been terrified ever since Eddie’s blood splattered all over his face, since he watched the nurses shove a tube down his throat and make no promises. Since Eddie sat beside him, alive and well, and trusted him with the most important thing in his life—in Buck’s life. 
That fear has only risen ever since he saw the way Ana smiled up at him during his welcome home and the way Eddie grinned right back, the smile Buck had too long convinced himself was his own. How comfortable she looked mixed in with his family, the family Buck started to consider his. 
He’s scared because he’s never felt so much, so strongly for another person since— No, that’s not right. He’s never felt this way about anyone . 
Eddie isn’t just another person to destroy him, another partner to tell lies and fall away. He isn’t going to be replaced in Eddie’s life just because he has someone else, someone who might know what’s going on in his head and doesn’t have to demand an answer. 
Eddie is different, he always has been. And Buck has to hold onto that. 
He does even when Eddie speaks again. 
“It was a panic attack, not a heart attack,” Eddie sighs as he sits up. Buck knows he’s irritated but he can’t bring himself to care. He has always mildly irritated Eddie, why should this time be any different?
Actually, he finds himself gripping even tighter at the clipboard—at hope— when Eddie admits to it. 
Panic. Of all the things Buck thinks Eddie is going to say, panic isn’t one of them. 
“Since when do you panic?” 
Then he considers the number of times he’s woken up in sweat-soaked sheets that felt too much like Eddie’s blood and tears in his eyes that he can’t seem to wipe away fast enough as they burn his cheeks. The pain of his sobs that still tear through him when he remembers the lost look on Eddie’s face in the firetruck, asking if Buck was okay like it mattered. The feeling of failure when Christopher’s hand patted softly at his shoulder.  
“That’s what I said.”
Something flashes in Eddie’s eyes that looks like surprise, realization, but Buck pushes it aside. He can’t cling to hope too tightly. He knows how that works out for him in the end. 
“I don’t panic,” Eddie huffs and then exhales, “except I did.” 
“Okay, well, what triggered it?” Buck lists off the reasons for his own panic, expecting a match, but Eddie doesn’t stop him to agree. 
He stops him to argue and it isn’t what Buck expects. 
“That wasn’t it,” Eddie interrupts exasperatedly. “If I’m being honest with myself, I—”
When has Eddie ever been dishonest with himself? 
“I think it was Ana.” 
Ana. The name that spirals in Buck’s mind too often when he has to remind himself that Eddie isn’t his. The name that only passes his lips drenched in sarcasm or malice or a thin veil of hope when he doesn’t think too much about what he is saying. 
The name that sparks nerves, anxiety, fear, dread, confusion— 
Panic. 
“Uh,” Buck stutters, hoping his heart beating out of his chest isn’t obvious, “I thought things were great with Ana.” 
He watched Eddie kiss her on the cheek during her surprise visit, watched as Christopher hoped out loud for a new mom, a wife for his father. Sure, he didn’t react exactly how Buck had expected, but he didn’t seem to panic. 
Or he did and Buck was too focused on his own misery to truly see it.
“She’s been a godsend through all of this, staying with Christopher, but… I think that’s what’s causing the panic.” 
He sounds so sure, so confident that there couldn’t be anything else, which is the Eddie that Buck remembers. Buck isn’t sure it’s the Eddie he wants to see at this moment, though. He wants to see Eddie happy, Eddie making plans for his future, Eddie beaming at the thought of being in love with a perfect person, the one that Ana seems to be. He wants Eddie to feel the joy that comes from spending time with him, the way Buck does. 
“Somehow we became a ready-made family and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” 
He says the other word that haunts Buck’s nightmares. 
Buck always thought he knew what family meant, what family was supposed to be, then his parents stopped caring. Then Maddie left and he was all alone. He thought he had found his family at the one-eighteen soon after and he was happy. God, was he happy, for the first time since he could remember. 
Then he met Eddie. 
Then he met Christopher. 
How defines his family is a little cloudy now. 
“So what are you gonna do?” 
And isn’t that the question of the day, the minute, the seconds that he spends gripping onto the clipboard in front of him to keep his hands from reaching, comforting, desiring. 
Eddie shakes his head. 
“I’m just gonna stick it out. Ana’s been the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon…”
“Stick it out?” 
Buck flashes back to his own attempt at sticking it out. Convincing himself that eventually, Eddie will realize what they mean to each other. His plans to stick it out even if it meant he wouldn’t be as happy as he could be, had pretended he deserved to be. He was going to stick it out because he would have Eddie in whatever way he could. 
“That’s not how you talk about someone you’re in love with.”
Buck’s not sure if he’s talking to himself or Eddie anymore. 
“My kid loves her,” Eddie shoots back, heat in his voice that doesn’t match the worry on his face. 
Buck’s not sure if he’s talking to himself or Buck anymore. 
“Is that enough?” 
Buck spits the words right back, more venom that Eddie could have tried to muster. He doesn’t mean to. He really doesn’t. If anything, he had tried to keep his emotions at bay the second Ana’s name lingered between them. 
But he does. 
He wants to grab Eddie’s shoulders, shake them until his brain wobbles into sense, kiss him and mutter the words back to him a million times over. 
Because if that’s enough for Eddie, why doesn’t he love Buck?
Is that enough? Is that enough for you to love me back? Is that enough for you to spend the rest of your life with me instead? For me to stop pretending anyone else is going to be a better fit for me than you? 
Because I love your kid more than anyone in the world, Eddie, and if that’s enough, then… 
Why not me?
Eddie’s silent for a moment too long, a second prolonged into a minute, that might have lasted forever if Buck didn’t break it. 
“Eddie, I’ve been Ana. I know what it’s like to be in love with someone who’s not all the way in.”
He thinks of his parents first. Then he thinks of Abby. Even Ali flashes through his tired mind. 
But nothing lingers like Eddie. Nothing has ever lingered like Eddie. 
“Deep down you know it and it hurts. It hurts worse than the truth.” 
Buck’s lived through a lot of truths. His parents creating him for spare parts, Abby leaving him and not looking back, Ali unable to handle the one thing he loves most in the world— loved most in the world, past tense because there are two things, two people , that have that title now. 
He’s lived through being in love with his best friend, his best friend’s family, his best friend’s son. He knows what it’s like to hold onto that hope that maybe, just maybe, someone won’t abandon him, someone won’t think he’s not enough. He has held onto the hope that someone loves him—not in the way he wants, but loves him just the same. 
Briefly he wonders if knowing Eddie doesn’t love him back would hurt more than not knowing. 
Buck shakes his head instead of saying any of his thoughts out loud. 
“So if you don’t wanna hurt Ana, you owe it to her to be honest.” 
Buck isn’t sure whether he’s talking to himself or to Eddie. 
“It just feels like a lot, man.” 
And Buck? He knows the feeling all too well. 
20 notes · View notes
hmslusitania · 3 years
Note
Prompt: AU to 2.01. during the workout scene Eddie brings up Abby and Buck feels hurt and betrayed that Chim would share his private life with basically a stranger. When Chim says Eddie’s cool Buck says he can be wary of the new guy who gets so comfortable right off the bat when Buck himself got hazed like crazy as a probie. When Chim says Abby’s not a big deal Buck turns to Eddie and asks if he found his abandonment amusing. Eddie feels horrible and Chim finally understands his screw up. Buddie
Hi Anon! I’m not 100% sure this will satisfy your prompt, for which I apologise. That said, in a longer fic I’m currently working on, this scene gets examined hardcore from both Buck and Eddie’s POV and I hope to post that fic soon, so if this does not quite do it, hopefully that will. All that said, I do hope you enjoy this:
--
The kid is like a brother to him, but good god. It’s only Eddie’s second shift and they haven’t even all clocked in yet, and Buck is already being a dick. Chimney sighs – on the inside – and keeps buttoning his shirt while Buck slams locker doors and Eddie just tries to change.
When Buck finally stomps out of the locker room, Eddie takes a second and then turns to Chim.
“So, is it just me, or…”
“Try not to take it personally,” Chim recommends. He likes Eddie, has liked him since they met. It’s nice to have another medic on the shift, even if Eddie isn’t certified as a paramedic like him and Hen. Bobby’s and Buck’s EMT certification is great and useful but sometimes that little bit of extra medical knowledge comes in handy.
“So he’s just a dick to everyone?” Eddie asks.
Chim sighs. “Nah,” he says. “He’s just – look, the kid’s got a heart of gold, he really does, and most of the time he’s the sweetest guy you’ll meet, like a giant 6’2 golden retriever, but his first serious girlfriend just dumped him and then ghosted him, and he’s been a bit…in a bad mood.”
Although, now that he thinks about it, Buck’s straight up denial about Abby having dumped him has kept his mood afloat well enough. Up until Eddie showed up at the 118. But Chimney can’t fathom how the two would be related.
Eddie nods like that makes sense and they continue getting ready for their shift.
Chimney does his best to stay out of Buck’s way for most of the morning. It’s only by coincidence he finds himself in the gym at the same time as Buck and Eddie. Buck, clearly trying to comfort himself with the hot firefighter calendar, starts taking selfies over by the bench press.
Chimney does not know why Eddie decides to start something.
“You’re in the wrong light, man,” Eddie says. Chim frowns. Light? For a selfie?
“Some of us don’t need lighting to look good,” Buck shoots back.
Chim glances at Buck, but he’s distracted by himself.
“Hey, Eddie? What did you mean by the wrong light?” Chim asks.
Eddie explains about warm side lighting as opposed to flat blue light, and shows off the pictures his niece had taken for him. Chimney doubts that most of the effect is just because of lighting. As he’d pointed out on Eddie’s first shift, that is a beautiful man.
Still, having well done photos can’t hurt.
“You think she’d be willing to take my pictures for me? I’m told I photograph like an Asian Fabio,” Chim says, which gets him a laugh from Eddie.
“Sure she would,” he says.
And then, of course, Hurricane Buck.
“You shouldn’t get his hopes up,” he says to Eddie, all glower. “No offence, Chim.”
Chimney isn’t sure how he’s supposed to take that as anything but offensive. But—
He’s got a heart of gold, Chim reminds himself. He’s got a goddamn heart of gold.
“None taken,” he says, heading back to his bench dips. “Evan.”
He gets maybe two reps in before he hears Eddie say, “Okay, man, what’s your problem?”
Chimney winces and looks over to see Buck getting up in Eddie’s face.
“Okay, you,” Buck says. Chimney frowns. Eddie? It really is personal? “You’re my problem. Your comfort level. You’re – you’re not supposed to just walk in here like you’ve been here for years. There’s supposed to be a getting-to-know-you period. You’re meant to respect your elders.”
That’s what Buck is pissed about?
“You’re not his elder, Buck,” Chim points out. As he says it, he realises he doesn’t actually know how old Eddie is. He’s been assuming due to his work history that he’s on the other side of thirty from Buck, but he doesn’t actually know.
“Look,” Eddie says. He sounds calm and rational, in complete contrast to Buck’s anger and irritation, which Chim takes as a good sign. “I in no way meant to, uh, be too familiar or step on anybody’s toes. I know you’re going through some personal stuff right now.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Chimney can see Buck flinch.
“What personal stuff?” he asks.
Whoops.
“I know your girlfriend recently broke up with you and you’re coming to terms with that,” Eddie says.
“No, I’m not,” Buck says. Which, points for honesty, Chim thinks. “And she didn’t break up with me. Who told you that?”
When they both turn to look at him, Chim tries to melt into his exercise equipment.
“I’m just saying, I hear you’re a good guy, and I’m sorry you’re going through pain but you don’t need to take it out on me,” Eddie says.
“I’m not in pain,” Buck snaps, wounded.
Chim doesn’t mean to heave a dramatic sigh, but it happens. Buck rounds on him.
“And why are you telling all of my personal shit to strangers?” Buck asks.
Chim winces. There are a lot of reasons – Eddie asked; Eddie is already a clear part of the team, not a stranger; because Chimney’s worried about him and gossip is how they deal with things at the 118; but he doesn’t think Buck’s in a mood to accept any of those.
“I asked if you were pissed at me or something else,” Eddie says. “And I’m sorry about your girlfriend, man, I know what it’s like to have someone you thought loved you disappear on you in the dead of night.”
Chimney stops doing his dips and turns to scan Eddie, concerned. But Eddie’s just looking at Buck.
“She didn’t – I drove her to the airport,” Buck says.
He sounds so damn small and vulnerable that despite how much of a dick he’s been recently, Chim kind of wants to just hug him. He’s spent so much of the past four months since Abby left acting like he was completely fine most of the time, and so they hadn’t really…
Well, they hadn’t been there for him. Bobby’s got his reasons, Chim knows, since Hen’s almost certainly right about the secret Bobby-Athena relationship going on in the background. But Chim and Hen could’ve done better.
“Look, man, all I can tell you is that staying in denial isn’t gonna help,” Eddie says. “You’re still gonna get the divorce papers in the mail eventually.”
“We weren’t—” Buck starts and Chimney almost jumps into the conversation to make sure Buck isn’t actually that stupid. “Oh.”
“Truce?” Eddie asks, taking off one of his boxing gloves and holding his hand out in Buck’s direction.
Buck swallows and, after a long, awkward moment, takes Eddie’s hand. “You’re still a probie.”
“I promise you, there is no worse hazing you can do to me than the guys in Afghanistan already did,” Eddie says.
Chimney wonders if he feels like eating those words later that night when Eddie and Buck get into an ambulance with a live grenade. Chim and Hen aren’t on the call with them, since they were already doing a transport from the previous call, but when they all get back to the station, something has clearly shifted between Buck and Eddie.
“You two idiots got in an ambulance with a live grenade?” Hen demands, hands on her hips. Chim has seen her deploy this expression at Denny before. It usually gets her immediate apologies and chagrin.
“Eddie was an army medic,” Buck says. “We were totally safe.”
“Until the ambulance exploded,” Eddie points out.
“Yeah, but we weren’t in it anymore,” Buck says, knocking his shoulder into Eddie’s while they sit at the kitchen counter together. Hen shakes her head slowly, like she can’t believe what she’s hearing. “And besides! We saved the patient.”
“Which is what matters,” Eddie adds.
Hen throws her hands up, exasperated. “I’m so glad there are two of you now.”
She stalks off and Chim watches while Buck and Eddie exchange bright smiles. Chim couldn’t say for sure, but he thinks the last time Buck smiled like that, he was talking to Abby. Which is certainly a development Chim didn’t see coming.
He finds Buck later in the bunks.
“Hey,” he says, knocking on Buck’s partition. Buck isn’t asleep, he’s just scrolling through his phone. “Got a sec?”
“Sure,” Buck says, sitting up and dropping his phone into his lap.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Chim says. “Telling Eddie about Abby, I mean. I don’t think any of us really realised how much you’re still hurting over that.”
“I’m fine,” Buck says. It’s too quick, and just a bit too sharp to be genuine.
Chim just waits.
“I’m – I’ve – I’ve been single for four months, haven’t I?” Buck asks quietly.
“Yeah,” Chim says, because Eddie had pointed out, denial just hurts more.
“Great,” Buck says. He clears his throat a couple times like he’s trying to get rid of a blockage. Chimney takes that as an opportunity to clap him on the shoulder.
“You’ve still got your family,” Chim says. “By which I mean the 118, because as far as you’ve said, you may as well have sprung out of the ground fully formed.”
Buck snorts. “I’ve got a sister,” he says, which is the first biological family member Chimney has ever heard Buck mention. “Maddie. She’s actually sleeping on my couch right now.”
“God, a female Buck,” Chim says. “I can’t even imagine how terrifying that must be.”
Buck scoffs and elbows him. “She’s not like me at all. You might even like her. She’s basically the best person ever, just a heart of pure gold.”
Chimney doesn’t quite trust Buck’s judgement when it comes to his sister, but if he’s right, well…
“Certain shitty comments you’ve made recently aside, that sounds exactly like you, Buckaroo,” Chim says.
“Thanks, Chim,” Buck says and sounds like he means it. “And I’m sorry for being a dick.”
Chim nods and claps him on the shoulder again before turning to head back to his own bunk.
“Hey, Chim?”
Chimney pauses.
“Do you think Eddie’s—”
Chimney waits, but all Buck says is “never mind.”
Their next call isn’t until morning when they find a group of idiots who have cemented their friend’s head into a microwave. When the kid falls into a pool, Buck jumps in to save him without hesitation and Eddie is only a split second behind him.
Chim doesn’t think about it until they’re all back at the station and changing out for the end of shift, but he thinks that this particular level of drift compatibility between Buck and Eddie might be a bit of a dangerous thing.
When they’re all back in civvies, Eddie says goodbye to everyone and starts to leave, only for Buck to follow him out, calling, “Hey! Eddie! There’s a really great brunch place down the street if you want to grab something, maybe?”
Chim and Hen watch them go, and wait until they’ve both driven off – together, even if in separate vehicles – before commenting.
“They’re gonna give us all heart attacks, aren’t they,” Hen says, resigned.
“Oh yeah,” Chim agrees.
“At least Buck seems happier?” Hen asks.
“Small victories,” Chim replies. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”
“See you then,” she says, going back to cleaning her locker.
Chimney only makes it as far as the parking lot before he’s stopped dead in his tracks by a breathtakingly beautiful woman. He’s never been a poetry kind of guy, but he’s pretty sure he could wax poetic about the bright stars in her eyes for several days if pressed. It doesn’t hurt that she’s holding a large Tupperware of baked goods.
“How can I help?” Chim asks, swallowing his gum. There’s nowhere to spit it out and no way to do that in front of a pretty girl that doesn’t look tacky.
“I was actually looking for Evan Buckley,” she says. “I wanted to surprise him. He said he was having a kind of intense shift.”
Chimney feels an instant spike of envy, and then realises who she is.
“You must be Buck’s sister,” he says.
“I am,” she agrees. “Maddie Kendall. Well, Buckley, again, I guess.”
“I’m Chimney,” he says, offering her his hand to shake.
She balances the container of baked goods on one forearm and shakes his hand. “It’s nice to put a face to a name. Buck says you’re one of the best guys at the station.”
Chimney can’t help but smile at that. “That’s funny, I was just saying the same thing about him.”
Maddie laughs and Chimney is struck by the desire to make her laugh always.
He stands there, grinning at her like an idiot, for much longer than he should until Maddie finally says, “So, where would I find him?”
“Oh! Sorry! You just missed him,” Chimney says. “He already left for a brunch date with the probie.”
Maddie’s eyebrows lift, delighted. “A date?”
Chim shrugs. “I’m not sure either of them knows that part, but definitely.”
“How about I put these down somewhere and you tell me absolutely everything,” Maddie suggests, holding up the box of muffins.
“I don’t know if I should,” Chim says, showing her up the stairs to the loft where D shift are working on the coffee maker. “I kinda got in trouble for telling people things about him recently.”
“Mm, big sister’s prerogative,” Maddie says, happily accepting the cup of coffee Chimney offers her.
“Okay, but if he yells at me again, I’m blaming you,” Chimney says. He takes one of the muffins from the now open container and groans. So not only is she gorgeous and the best person ever by Buck’s estimation, she can also cook and she thinks Chimney is funny. “These are amazing.”
“Thank you,” Maddie says. “And I’m sure we can work something out about Buck re blame. So long as you dish.”
Chimney grins. “Deal.”
45 notes · View notes
myemergence · 3 years
Text
The Only Reason
Pairing: Ruckley, Russley, Jevan (Josh Russo/ Evan Buckley)
Series: 911 First Kiss Week
Rating: Teen
Summary: Lately, Josh has been celebrating every single ridiculous holiday. It started with Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day and has quickly progressed into multiple holidays being celebrated each week. Buck finds himself going along with each celebration, until National Fried Chicken Day.
Buck has ideas about which holiday he’d like to celebrate with Josh instead.
Read it on AO3
@nurse-buckley thanks for the beta, love!
*
“I’m here! Dinner can begin,” Buck announced once he stepped inside Maddie and Chim’s, ignoring the way that Maddie rolled her eyes as he made his way past her.
“Contrary to what you might think, we weren’t waiting on you to start dinner,” Maddie said.
“Ouch, you wound me.” Buck pouted, holding a hand to his heart as he spotted Chimney on the couch with Jee-Yun. “Thankfully there is at least one person here that’s happy to see me.”
“She’s too little to know better, Buck.” Chim waited until Buck took Jee-Yun from his arms before joining Maddie in the kitchen, and Buck trailed behind them.
“Jee loves her Uncle Buck.” Chim smirked at Maddie and she let out a small laugh, then opened the oven to check on the chicken. Buck frowned at their obvious teasing before looking down at his niece. “Don’t you, sweetheart?” She cooed up at him, and Buck smiled at her.
“I honestly don’t know how either one of you gets anything done with this adorable little face to look at.”
When neither one of them responded, Buck looked up and found both of them watching him.
“What?” Buck asked with a pinched brow.
Chimney grinned. “She has you wrapped around her finger already.”
Buck rolled his eyes, then spotted several pies on the kitchen island. “Um, Jee hitting the sweets already?”
“No, those would be courtesy of Josh. Didn’t you hear that he has been celebrating everything lately?”
Buck pressed his lips together. “What do you mean by everything, Mads?”
“It started with Applesauce Cake Day, then the other day was Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day. He made half a dozen for dispatch, and we only finished two of them. If you couldn’t tell that already by the number of pies that are on the counter, I brought the leftovers home… and you’re not even seeing the one that Chim polished off last night.”
“Well, I’m not gonna complain because they’re delicious,” Chim commented, as he finished preparing the salad.
“Maybe, but it’s also the reason that dinner tonight is so vegetable heavy. He should be celebrating National Vegetable Day instead.”
A short while later they finished up dinner, and Buck was helping Chim with the dishes, while Maddie got Jee-Yun ready for bed, feeding her in the living room.
“So, do you know if Josh is joining us later?” Buck asked casually, wiping down the plate.
Chimney tilted his head to the side a little to look at Buck more completely, holding another dripping plate. “Any particular reason you ask?” Buck shrugged, trying to go for casually interested but knowing he’d been utterly failing at it lately.
“I just wasn’t sure if I was going to be taking just your money, or his too.”
“You won’t be taking anyone’s money, because we know if Maddie is playing that she’s going to slaughter us all.” Buck laughed, knowing that Chimney was right, as he added the plate to the pile on the counter. “And to answer your question, he said he’d be over around 8, so you’ve got 5 minutes, give or take.”
Josh arrived a few minutes later, and Maddie met him at the door before leading him inside. Jee-Yun had already been put to bed, much to Josh’s disappointment. “I can’t believe you put her to bed before I got here.”
“Well next time get here earlier,” Maddie said with a roll of her eyes.
“I was busy, Maddie.”
Buck couldn’t help the teasing smile that spread across his face. “Were you baking more pies?”
“No,” Josh said, “it’s not Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day anymore.” He raised an eyebrow.
“So you’re saying if we finish these off that you’re not going to make more?” Chim asked.
“That is exactly what I’m saying,” Josh replied with a laugh.
“Sorry, Chim.” Buck glanced over at his brother-in-law who sat beside him at the table, pouting. “I tried.”
“Howie!” Maddie scolded, smacking his arm lightly with exasperation. “I swear I’m going to make Buck take all of the leftovers to his place.”
And if Josh made them, Buck really wouldn’t mind.
*
Buck walked into Josh’s house and was immediately hit with the overwhelming aroma of coconut. Josh had been planning to host a spa day at his place for a week now, with both Buck and Maddie coming over to reap the benefits of yet another celebration day, but Buck hadn’t been prepared to be hit by a wall of coconut.
Buck hated coconut, the smell and taste of it— but even more than that, the texture of shredded coconut was enough to gag about. Thankfully he was just there for a spa day, so he wouldn’t need to worry about that at least.
“I, uh, brought over some sliced cucumbers, even though Maddie said you didn’t need anything for today. She always uses these when she does a mask.”
“Too bad she won’t be here to benefit from them,” Josh said ruefully, to which Buck raised his eyebrow. “She had to bail, said Chimney had to work, and Jee had an appointment that she couldn’t miss.”
“She—” is a liar, Buck finished in his head, fighting off a frown. What the hell? “She’s really gonna miss out, huh?”
“Yeah, I mean I really catered today around things I know Maddie likes, but…” Josh trailed off with a sheepish smile and shrugged. “I hope it’s not a total waste.”
“I’m sure everything is perfect.” Buck paused, glancing around to see if he could tell what Josh had set up. “So I smell coconut, what is that from?”
“Everything,” Josh answered with a laugh. “It’s National Coconut Day. So naturally, we’re celebrating with everything coconut. Follow me.”
Coconut. Everything.
He was going to kill Maddie.
“I just finished making some pina coladas if you want one?” Josh offered, adding a pineapple wedge to the rim of two glasses before holding one out to Buck.
“A little fancier than my usual beer, but I think I can be a little adventurous today.” Buck chuckled, taking the drink from Josh’s outstretched hand. He ignored the jolt that he felt when Josh’s fingers brushed against his. “Thank you.”
Josh grabbed a drink of his own before casting a glance in Buck’s direction. “I don’t think that being adventurous is really a stretch for you.” Josh paused, then added. “I seem to remember more than one rescue, particularly the ones that Maddie was freaking out about because they were risky.”
Buck shrugged his shoulders, wearing a sheepish smile as he followed Josh towards the living room. “That’s my job.”
Josh laughed, sitting down on the couch and shifting his body so that he was angled towards Buck. “So are you saying that it’s more adventurous for you to drink a pina colada than to rush into a burning building, or rappelling off the side of a cliff?”
Buck laughed lightly, feeling his cheeks warm, while his mind was on an endless loop of I hate coconut. Maybe it hadn’t exactly been adventurous of Buck to drink the pina colada, but for the effort that Josh had put into the day, he couldn’t let him down by telling him he hated everything coconut. He brought the drink up to his lips, taking a small sip before answering, trying not to react to the sudden taste flooding his tongue.
“Jumping into action at the scene when someone needs to be saved, that’s just instinct kicking in,” Buck explained, setting his glass on the coffee table, letting his gaze settle on Josh.
“That’s because you’re a hero,” Josh stated, setting his own glass down. “And heroes deserve to be pampered.”
“Josh, I’m not a hero,” he argued.
“I seem to remember watching you, trapped under a fire rig just doing your job and responding to a call, then in the months that followed you fought with everything you had to get back out there. Saved hundreds of people when you were off-duty during the tsunami. I could go on,” Josh said, “if you want.”
“Um,” Buck cleared his throat, running a hand over the back of his neck as Josh explained why he thought Buck was a hero. He shook his head a little. “That won’t be necessary.”
“In that case, I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home.”
Buck tried not to let his mind linger too long on how the atmosphere at Josh’s felt different today, more intimate without Maddie’s presence. She was always there, as a buffer, keeping Buck from making a fool of himself in front of Josh. Yet today, there was nobody to save Buck from himself.
Josh came back a few minutes later, setting a round container on the table and the sliced cucumber beside them. He told Buck to go wash his face before they got started, and when Buck returned, Josh set a pillow on the couch.
“Lay down,” Josh instructed.
Buck hesitated for a moment before laying down, resting his head on the pillow. “You know, we could do yours first—I know this is more your thing with Maddie, and I—”
“Anybody ever tell you that you’re argumentative?” Josh looked down at him, mouth turned up in amusement.
Buck rolled his eyes, watching as Josh grabbed the pouffe to sit on, his expression turning more focused as he moved the coffee table closer, making sure that what he needed was in reach. “Usually they just tell me I’m a terrible listener.”
“Close your eyes and relax.” Buck hesitated as he looked up at Josh, watching as Josh’s smile turned into a grin. “You know, they’re not wrong.”
“You always invite guys over and then call them argumentative and bad listeners?” Buck asked, finally closing his eyes.
“And they say I’m the dramatic one,” Josh teased. Buck heard him shuffle around on the table, then a moment later Josh’s voice again. “I’m going to put a warm washcloth on your face first. Just relax with it for a minute.”
The heat from the washcloth felt soothing against his skin, and Buck felt himself relaxing more, despite how this afternoon came to be just him and Josh having a spa day at home. Josh’s fingers brushed against his forehead a minute later, removing the cooling washcloth from his skin.
“So, what’s your skin regimen like anyway?”
“Uh,” Buck laughed softly. “Usually just soap and water. I don’t really have a skin regimen.”
“Well that’s offensive.” Josh’s eyes widened comically as he looked down at Buck. “First of all, that’s so bad for your skin, especially given that you deal with smoke exposure on a regular basis, not to mention the sweat. Second of all, it looks like you take great care of your skin… which is unfair, given that you absolutely do not.”
“Are you going to convert me into a skin care enthusiast?”
“I see that sarcasm is definitely a Buckley family trait.” Josh glared at him playfully. “I’m going to apply the mask now. It’s just avocado, coconut oil and some nutmeg. It’s supposed to be great for anti-aging and really moisturizing, not that your naturally flawless skin needs it.” Josh’s gaze flickered away from his, grabbing the container from the table, collecting the paste onto a brush before moving closer.
“I was really not expecting a green mask. You’re going to make me look like Maddie all those times I teased her when we were growing up,” Buck said.
Josh laughed, beginning to spread it over Buck’s skin, making Buck close his eyes again. It only took a minute before Buck’s face was thoroughly covered and Josh moved away with the container.
“Just relax for about fifteen minutes, and then we’ll get you cleaned up,” Josh said. He returned a few seconds later, setting something cool over each of his eyes, which Buck could only assume were the cucumbers.
Buck became more conscious of his breathing as the minutes passed by, the quiet of Josh’s home surrounding him. “15 minutes up yet?” Buck mumbled, not even sure if Josh was still in the room.
“Uh, just about,” Josh answered. “I’ll get you cleaned up in just another minute.” There was another stretch of silence until Buck heard the shutter of a camera, quickly followed by rapid tapping.
“Josh?”
“Just a second, Buck.”
“Josh, what are you—” Buck removed the cucumbers from over his eyes, finding Josh standing not too far away with a mischievous smile on his face. “You can’t take a picture of me like this.” Buck gaped at him.
“I mean, I already did,” Josh said with a little laugh that lit up his entire face. “And I might have accidentally sent it to your sister.”
“Accidentally?”
“Maybe intentionally.”
“You have no idea what you’ve done. I’m never going to hear the end of this. She’s going to show Chimney, and it’ll circulate around the firehouse. Hell, Chim and Hen will probably blow up the picture and post it all around the station,” Buck finished dramatically, groaning as he sat back.
Josh smirked but didn’t say anything else, although his expression made it clear that he had plenty to say. He tapped out another response on his phone before he slipped the phone into his back pocket.
“We should go get your mask cleaned off, before your face is stuck like that permanently.” Buck’s hand shot up to his face and touched the mask, and Josh snorted at the appalled expression on Buck’s face.
“You know, I think my sister has influenced you way too much for your own good.” Buck followed Josh towards the bathroom, stepping into the room and turning on the warm water. Josh grabbed a clean washcloth and handed it to him. Josh disappeared from the doorway, leaving Buck to clean the thick green mask from his face.
Buck looked at his reflection and grimaced. “I can’t believe there’s a picture of me like this floating around,” he muttered. He tried to clean the mask off of his face and to not make a mess but this was… way messier than Buck expected. “Oh my god.” Green sludge covered the sink and the counter, and it was dripping off of Buck’s face like something out of a horror movie.
“Buck? You doing alright, you’ve been in here for—” Josh’s voice broke off with laughter. “Oh… wow. What is happening here? You—wow. This is a sight.”
“You keep saying that,” Buck said, cutting a glare in his direction, resulting in a green-tinted water dripping onto the counter.
“You are a disaster, Buck. Sit down.” Josh laughed, directing him away from his position in front of the mirror until he was sitting on the closed toilet lid. Josh grabbed a hand towel to wipe at the excess water dripping from Buck’s chin, first. Josh cupped Buck’s chin, gently tilting it until he was looking up at him. Buck swallowed hard as they held each other’s gaze, and the laughter disappeared from the room, replaced instead by a tension that Buck couldn’t quite explain, but made his heart race.
Josh took his time, patting off what was wet enough to wipe from Buck’s face. He worked silently for a few minutes, stopping to rinse off the wash cloth with warm water every so often before focusing his attention on cleaning Buck’s face.
“You know I could do this myself, Josh, I—”
“I don’t mind,” Josh said softly, and tossed the dirty washcloth in the sink before grabbing the clean hand towel he’d laid out before. “Let me just make sure we’ve got it all.”
Buck couldn’t find it in him to look away, mesmerized by Josh’s focus as he cradled Buck’s face, then the way he gently tilted it to the side from where he held Buck’s chin.
“Ah, missed a spot,” Josh said.
The feeling of the warm washcloth being wiped across his brow made his eyes flutter closed. Without his vision, Buck felt like he was suddenly more aware of everything else. The way that Josh smelled, and the fact that Buck could reach out and wrap his arms around the other man due to their closeness. Josh’s fingers still gripped Buck’s chin, moving the towel lightly over Buck’s skin, and dried off the last remnants of water.
“Think we got it all,” Josh whispered into the deafening quiet.
Blinking his eyes back open, he caught Josh’s gaze when they opened. Josh smiled at him, then his eyes settled on the spot just above Buck’s eye, rubbing his thumb over the skin there . In the past, Buck had been self conscious about his birthmark, hating how it made him stand out. But at that moment, as Josh studied it with such intent, Buck was glad to have it. Josh brushed his thumb over the skin a few more times, until their eyes met again. It’s like something clicked into place at the moment their eyes met, yanking Josh out of the intimacy of the moment, his jaw dropping open the tiniest bit as he took a small step back, putting some space between them.
“Well, your skin is perfectly soft now.” Buck forced himself not to frown at the loss of Josh’s touch, his stomach twisting as he fought the desire to reach out and tug Josh closer. “Not that it wasn’t before,” Josh added.
“Thank you for that experience. And for, uh, helping with the clean up,” Buck said. He stood up from where he was seated. “Definitely went above and beyond.”
“It was my pleasure,” he said.
“Well, now it’s my turn to return the favor.” Buck smiled at Josh, trying not to let the way that Josh made him feel when he cradled his face and studied his birthmark like it was some work of art. “But I can’t promise it won’t be an even bigger mess.”
Josh laughed, and the tension between them that had been there for only a few moments dissipated. “I’d expect no less.”
*
After National Coconut Day, things felt different between Josh and Buck, like somehow their relationship was no longer held together by Maddie. They began to talk regularly as the days passed, they texted and made plans to get together soon. Josh, of course, had another celebration day in mind—and after how the last one had turned out, Buck couldn’t find it in him to necessarily discourage it.
Until he’d learned that it was another food-centered celebration: National Fried Chicken Day. Josh was very invested, sending Buck links to different food blogs and recipes that he’d found on Pinterest to try: a classic southern fried chicken, buttermilk fried chicken, and even a KFC copycat recipe.
The intimacy of their home spa day played on repeat in Buck’s mind, the moment when Josh had cleaned Buck’s face, brushing his thumb tenderly over Buck’s birthmark. He’d thought Josh was going to kiss him, had even hoped that he would. In the minutes that stretched on afterwards, he’d felt disappointed, but shoved that feeling aside to unpack another day. And Buck had decided that maybe today was that day.
Buck sighed, looking at himself in the mirror one last time. He opted for a casual shirt and jeans since it was meant to be a low-key celebration, and grabbed his keys off of the counter on his way out.
Within twenty minutes he arrived at Josh’s door. Josh opened the door in an apron, which was certainly a look. “You’re just on time. I was about ready to get started.”
Buck smiled as he followed Josh inside, back towards the kitchen. He watched as Josh set a pan on the front burner of the stove, then moved fluidly to grab the bottle of the oil.
Now or never, Buckley.
“Step away from the oil, Josh,” Buck said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“What? How am I going to make fried chicken without the oil?” Josh turned his head to look at Buck, who had moved closer now, standing beside him next to the stove.
“You’re not.”
“Buck,” Josh drew his name out slowly, thankfully having not yet turned on the burner, his full attention now on Buck. “We’re here to celebrate National Fried Chicken Day—”
“But your arteries are pleading with you to not do that,” Buck explained. “We could celebrate something else today.”
Josh frowned at Buck’s words. “Like what? You couldn’t have mentioned this days ago? What could we possibly celebrate that we just happen to have everything for?”
Buck trapped his bottom lip between his teeth, then dared to catch Josh’s gaze again. “It’s International Kissing Day.” Of course the only reason Buck wanted to celebrate that with Josh was for the betterment of his health.
“…and how would we celebrate that?”
“The only logical way that I could come up with is that we could kiss.”
A nervous laugh shook out of Josh, and a flush colored his cheeks. “Buck, I’m not going to let you kiss me just because you don’t want me clogging my arteries.”
“Well,” Buck swallowed past the nervous anxiety bubbling in his chest. “What about letting me kiss you because I like you, and this is all just a poorly crafted excuse to kiss you, masked as concern for your arteries?”
Josh’s eyes flickered to Buck’s lips, then back up to his eyes. “I-I think I’d be okay with it, if that were the case,” Josh whispered.
The corners of Buck’s pulled up into a smile, though his heart didn’t stop racing. “That’s good to hear,” Buck murmured, stepping forward to close in the little bit of space between them. He reached out, cupping Josh’s cheek as he looked down into his face. “Because I was really hoping that was what you would say.”
Buck leaned in as Josh’s eyes fluttered closed, and their noses barely brushed as he pressed his lips to Josh’s. The kiss was soft and sweet, like Josh, not frantic or urgent, and the tenderness made Buck’s heart swell. Josh’s hands ghosted against Buck’s sides before they settled at his waist. Finally, Buck dropped his hand away from Josh’s jaw, studying his features when he did.
“I hope that was okay,” Buck whispered, not able to tear his gaze away, as he cringed at his words.
“It was great, but…”
“But?” Buck asked.
“But I don’t think you can classify one kiss as a celebration,” Josh explained, a smile tugging at his lips.
“It would be like celebrating Strawberry Rhubarb Pie day with only one pie.”
“A travesty,” he murmured, sliding a hand to the back of Buck’s neck, pulling him back in for another kiss.
Buck decided, maybe he wouldn’t kill Maddie after all.
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yerwizardharry · 4 years
Text
a little buddie ficlet idea stolen from a mike and harvey fic called ‘A Condition of Happiness’ by eadunne2. if you ship marvey go read that because it’s far superior to what I’ve written. i’m not a fic writer - nor do i intend to be - so pls don’t be too harsh. enjoy!
~
“Hey, I was drinking that!”
Eddie hides his grin behind the mug and moves to sit at the table occupied by Chim and Hen, who are both chuckling at Buck’s disgruntled expression.
“I don’t know why you still bother protesting Buck”, Bobby comments as he’s passing through the kitchen, “he does it every single morning.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry Buckaroo, but I think it might be time to accept defeat. Not that you ever put up much of a fight anyway. Wonder why that is.” Hen agrees, smirking.
Buck darts forward attempting to steal the last piece of bacon off the side of her plate but instead stumbles towards the floor and has to catch himself on the table before he winds up with yet another concussion. He whips around just in time to see Chimney retract his leg back underneath the table, an expression of innocence etched upon his face.
“Hey!” Buck yells, turning to grab a cushion from the couch and lobbing it towards Chim and Hen in retaliation.
“Every morning…” Bobby mutters, moving to intercept childish fight that’s about to take place.
Eddie just smiles, content to sit back and watch the chaos unfold. He takes a large gulp of Bucks coffee and sighs happily. It’s perfect as always - sugary sweet with only a splash of milk.
~
A few months later, with their days off coinciding and Chris at his Abeulas, Buck and Eddie are enjoying a rare, adults only, movie night. They’re both sat on the couch, shoulders pressed together and eyes on the tv when they hear a key in the lock. Maddie bustles into Bucks apartment dropping a bunch of his things on the kitchen island, ranting about not wanting piles of her baby brothers belongings cluttering up her and Chims new house. Buck and Eddie, both exhausted from four night shifts in a row, are too sleepy and comfortable pressed against each other to be paying too much attention.
“I’ve got to get back. Chims cooking dinner but no more forgetting all your stuff at my place okay baby bro?”, Maddie says fondly, ruffling Bucks hair and earning a slap on the arm for her trouble. Eddie chuckles at them both. Maddie flashes him a smile before turning to leave. On her way towards the front door, Maddie swipes Buck’s coffee mug and takes a quick sip.
“Gross!”, she splutters, "Buck why the hell is that so sweet? I know for a fact that we both prefer our coffee as black and strong as possible.”
Buck freezes, his mouth opening and closing, gaze shifting guiltily between his sister and Eddie.
“I...It’s not-I like any kind of coffee Mads, c'mon.”
Maddie rolls her eyes, exasperated. “Buck. You spent an entire car journey the other day trying to convince Chim that black coffee is superior and, i quote, any other type doesn’t even deserve to be called coffee . I distinctly remember because i considered driving right off the road just to put us all out of our misery.”
“Very funny Mads. Feel free to leave at any time.”
Maddie looks towards Eddie for support but finds the other man has his eyes trained on Buck, seemingly lost in though. She looks back towards her brother who has begun to fidget uncomfortably in the ensuing silence, gaze landing everywhere except his best friend.
Fighting down a laugh, Maddie sends her brother a wink and moves once more towards the front door.
“I’ll leave you boys to it.”
The sound of the door clicking shut echoes through the silent apartment.
Buck tenses.
~
"Look, I don’t really like-"
“But whenever I steal your-"
“-sweet coffee-"
“-why would you do that?"
A series of emotions flicker across Bucks face, like he’s thinking of laughing it off or making an excuse but in the end he turns to stare out of the window, shoulders slumped, hand rubbing absently over the left side of his chest.
“It’s a condition of happiness”, Buck sighs faintly. “Y’know. Heinlein.”
Eddie shifts towards Buck on the couch, brow furrowed in confusion. “What? Strangers in a Strange Land? Buck-“
Buck curls in on himself defensively. “F-forget it. Lets just pretend this conversation never happened. It’s dumb. Hey! Would you look at the time, it’s been hours. You should probably go pick up Chris from Abuela’s-“
But Eddie isn’t paying attention to Bucks rambling because it’s finally clicked and his mouth drops open in shock.
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own”, Eddie recites softly.
Buck sucks in a sharp breath and blushes all the way up to the tips of his ears. He’s a deer in headlights. Chest rising and falling rapidly and wide blue eyes unable to look anywhere except Eddies softening face. As the silence stretches on, Buck squeezes his eyes shut and braces for rejection. For the possibility that he’s about to lose, not only his best friend, but also an amazing kid he’s come to love as his own, all because of one stupid slip of the tongue.
Eddie’s heart breaks and swells simultaneously. He can’t believe he’s going to get this. This beautiful, kind man who cares more than anyone he’s ever met and wears his every emotion for all to see. Eddie brings a hand up to cup Buck’s face in his palm, thumb wiping away a stray tear. Bucks’s eyes flutter open.
“Evan, in those interactions, it isn’t the coffee that makes me happy.”
“No?” Buck whispers hopefully.
Eddie smiles tenderly and lifts his other hand to card through Buck’s hair, tugging him closer until their faces are just inches apart.
“No.” Eddie purrs, breath fanning across Bucks already tingling lips. He watches, mesmerised, as Bucks tongue flicks across the lower one.
“Eddie, please.”
After years of straining, the dam breaks. Eddie yanks Buck across the remaining distance, crashing their lips together. Buck whimpers desperately and crawls onto Eddies lap, hands roaming frantically across his body unwilling to settle in one place. Kissing Eddie is passion and fire and everything that’s described in those trashy romance novels Buck knows Eddie loves but vehemently denies ever having read. But most importantly it feels like finally coming home.
Eddie’s thumbs trace soothing circles on buck’s waist as their kisses begin to slow and with one last kiss to buck’s nose Eddie pulls back. Once he gets a clear look at bucks face though, Eddies blissful expression immediately melts into one of alarm.
“Querido? Why are you crying?”
Buck just smiles brightly and brushes a finger across Eddie’s cheekbone.
“I’m happy.”
Eddie lifts Bucks finger from his face and presses a kiss to the back of his hand.
“Well that’s lucky. Because it’s a condition of happiness for me too."
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buckleysjareau · 4 years
Text
911 Week, Day 1 - “wanna bet?”
this is more crack then fluff, so sorry, but there is fluff! enjoy
Whoever thought a night of heavy drinking between Buck, Eddie and Chimney was a good idea, were out of their minds. 
When sober, they were idiots but shot after shot of tequila plus the couple of beers they each had before meeting up multiplied the absolute stupidity of the three men. 
Poor Maddie and Athena had to play babysitter. 
"I can't believe you knocked up my sister, man. The father of my niece or nephew is going to be you, Chim! You!" Buck's voice booms over at their end of the bar and even though Maddie technically wasn't associated with them right now, she can't help but hide her face in embarrassment. It's gonna be a long night, she thinks. 
"Gee, thanks, Buckaroo." Chimney crosses his arms and pouts, resembling a grumpy child after he's told to put his toys away. 
A gasp escapes Buck's mouth. "You're welcome, Chimney, because it's a good thing, okay? You're a good thing. I'm lucky my sister has you, you're just so cool! So cool. Hey Maddie, isn't he cool?" 
Other patrons in the bar look over at Maddie and Athena and Maddie once again finds herself hiding her face from the attention. 
"The coolest!" 
Eddie responds before Maddie can get herself to. 
Chimney's eyes shine with unshed tears. "You know who's cooler?" The voice comes out in a stage whisper and moves closer while Buck and Eddie wait in anticipation like it's the most interesting thing in the world. 
"You guys are cooler! The coolest of cools!" 
Chimney breaks off into a fit of drunken giggles, not noticing Eddie's eyes full of tears and Buck's hand over his heart like the sentiment of the drunken compliment warmed his whole heart. It probably had. 
Eddie's sniffling is what has Chimney looking up again and before he can say anything, Eddie has an armful of Chimney as he weeps. 
"I love you so much man," 
"I love him more!" Buck argues. 
"Wanna bet?" Eddie hiccups.
"If you want me to take all of your money, I won't deny it." Buck's smirking has Eddie distracted for a moment and he goes from weeping over Chimney to smiling warmly at the blonde. 
"A bet? Over me? I feel so loved," Chimney giggles. "Maddie! Guess what? Buck and Eddie bet on how much they love me, that's so funny." 
"Why is that funny, man?" 
"Because we have a bet-"  
"I'd be quiet now honey." Maddie's eyes widen. Athena can't hide her amusement any longer. 
"What bet?" Buck pouts that Maddie is trying to keep a bet from him. Did his sister not know him? He loved winning. 
"Doesn't matter what bet they have going on right now, Buckley. The only bet that matters is who loves our bestest friend Chimney more." 
When Eddie got drunk, he got competitive, sure, but when Buck was drunk, his whole body felt warm and full of more love than he felt possible. So really, Buck's got Eddie beat. 
"It's me." Buck steps forward. 
"Pretty sure it's me." 
Chimney is still a giggling mess as he watches this unfold. "I feel like I'm in romcom where the two different people are fighting for my honor. It's a dream come true." 
Athena keeps her voice down. "Pretty sure you, Maddie, would win this fight."
"I definitely would," Maddie grins at her drunk fiancé and Chimney wastes no time in kissing her, but not without his uncontrollable giggles breaking through the kiss. 
"Don't know how you think you'd win, Eds." 
"Tell me why you think you would." Eddie just lost this for himself without realizing it. 
"He's about to be my brother in law, he's the father of my future niece or nephew, he's there for my sister and I've known him far longer than you." Buck lists with a grin. "Ha! Beat that!" 
"He got Hayden out when I cut my line!" Eddie realizes he's playing with fire bringing that up, especially with how Buck reacted, but it's the truth and hey, he's really competitive. 
Buck gets quiet and he's tense for a second, but in the blink of an eye, his mask is already up. He's pouting and Eddie finds it to be the most endearing thing he's ever seen. 
"That's just rude, I can't argue with that." He sulks. 
"You guys both love me the same and I love you guys the same, alright? I also love Maddie the same but in a completely different way." Chimney tries not to laugh at Buck's disgusted expression at his innuendo. 
Five minutes of pointless conversation pass and Eddie feels like he's gonna boil from the inside out with overwhelming love for everyone at their table, but most importantly Buck. 
Little did he know that Buck was feeling the exact same way. 
"Wait, wait, wait, guys!" Buck almost shouts. "I'm sorry to cut you off but do you know who else I love?" 
"Who's that, Buckaroo?" Chimney grins. "We already know you love me." 
Buck beams. "Eddie Diaz!" 
"Yes?" Eddie takes another sip of his beer, faking nonchalance. 
"No, no, I was telling them who I love! I love you Eds, you are so good and cool and easy to talk to and supportive and-" 
"Get to the point, for the love of all that is holy. That's too many 'ands', I can't keep up," Chimney groans. 
Buck shoots Chimney a glare before continuing, "and a horrible cook but you still try for Chris and I love Chris so much too, man. You're such a good dad and oh my god, Maddie, I feel like a tea kettle when the water is done boiling where it makes that whistle sound because I'm so full of love!" 
Maddie chokes on the water she was drinking. 
Eddie wasn't having this, though. "I love you more, man! You do so much for my kid and you help all these people and I hate that you're a reckless idiot but you help people all the time and you're actually a good cook and you give me advice like all the time, you're such a good man Evan Buckley. I definitely love you more!" 
Buck's about to argue his point when Eddie cuts him off with a question to Maddie. "Isn't he awesome, Maddie? So awesome." 
"You're not gonna win this argument, Edmundo. I definitely love you more." 
Buck's starting to slump in his seat, alcohol making him unable to just sit up straight anymore, so while he says that in such confidence, he looks smaller than a man who's six foot three should. He’s leaning his head on his hand and- oh god, he has sweater paws!
"Wanna bet?"  
"A bet would be pointless because you're never gonna win it, Eds." He giggles.  
"I think I'd win." Eddie laughs. "I know I'd win." 
The way Eddie says it has Buck's whole face flushing and the others at the table to cover their mouths to not laugh at the blatant flirting. 
Maddie whispers to Athena, "Should we leave them?" 
Athena raises an eyebrow. "Oh, no, I'm staying to see how this works out. After all, I am winning the bet with the way things are looking." 
Chimney sighs dramatically. "Why do you always win, 'Athena?" 
Before Athena could answer, she's cut off be an exasperated noise from Buck.  
"You making me feel things is not gonna get me to let you win this. I'm gonna win." He pouts. 
"Christopher loves and adores you, too. Chris and I are a team, therefore I love you more. How does that not get me the win?" 
"Because Chris once told me that we were a team too so if we're going based on that, I love you more because Chris can't love anyone more than he loves his dad. Beat that!" 
"We can do this all night, Evan. I win." 
Athena groans. "Oh no you don't. Just agree to disagree, you idiots." 
"Why would I agree to disagree when I can win because I definitely love him more than he loves me?" Eddie is still boiling with over pouring love and needs to let everyone know. 
"What are you even winning?" Maddie raises an eyebrow. 
Buck and Eddie try to stutter out a response but when they can't think of anything, they fall silent and Maddie grins. 
"Know it all." Buck mumbles under his breath, reminding Maddie of all of the times in their childhood when Buck would do the exact thing. The only difference was that he was twenty eight, not eight. 
"If you guys agree to disagree you can win each other." Chimney sleepily points out. 
Buck and Eddie make eye contact before Buck's eyes start watering. Eddie has no control over his feet as he stands up off the chair, watches as Buck does the same and the two meet in the middle with a hug. 
"So we all agree this is not platonic hugging, right?" Chimney whispers. 
"Pay up." Athena smirks. 
"You haven't won yet, Athena. They're still idiots so you never know." As Chimney says this, Eddie pulls away enough to look at Buck's face, puts both hands on each side of his face, and kisses him just by the lips. 
Chimney groans and pulls out a twenty, handing it to the woman, while Maddie did the same. A text is sent to the group chat to pay up the next day and the chat explodes with surprise, excitement and sore losers. 
All of the alcohol leaving their systems is starting to take its toll on the men and they're fighting the urge to fall asleep in the back of Athena's car. Every time Buck closes his eyes, his world spins, and Chimney has been hiccuping for the last hour. 
"Alright, boys, into Chimney's you all go." 
"Are we having a sleepover?" Buck mumbles. 
"Yes. We don't trust any of you being alone, so sleepover it is." 
"My first sleepover." He's grinning from ear to ear with his eyes shut and Maddie can't help but find it adorable. Their parents never let him have or go to sleepovers because studying was always way more important than having a life. 
She doesn't point out that it definitely was not his first sleepover, seeing as he pretty much always stayed the night on Eddie's couch to the point where he wasn't a guest at Eddie's home. It was his home too.  
As soon as the three men enter the apartment, they simultaneously fall onto Chimney's couch and groan tiredly. 
"I'm gonna feel horrible tomorrow." Chimney groans.
"I had more than you so forgive me if I'm not sympathetic because I'm gonna feel worse." Buck whispers. 
"Wanna bet?" 
Exasperated groans erupt from the kitchen. 
Idiots. 
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seaofashes · 4 years
Note
“Is the cat in a onesie?” “Uh, no? Hi!!! Oh please do this one 💙💙💙
"Can we just...can we at least keep him for the night Eddie? He's cold and soaked to the bone and I just want to keep an eye on him." Buck said looking at his boyfriend with his big blue eyes and a soft expression on his face as he held the grey Maine Coon to his chest. Eddie sighed and drug a hand down his face. Boy was he glad Christopher was at Hens for the weekend having a sleepover with Denny.
"Fine, but tomorrow he's going to the shelter. If that thing does it's business in my house YOU'RE cleaning it up." Eddie looked at his boyfriend who was absolutely beaming as he cradled the cat to his chest and ran into the bathroom to grab an extra towel. Eddie grabbed a small box and set up a towel over an old throw pillow and a bowl of water and waited for Buck to come back.
"Alright think this is as good as we're going to get you little guy." Buck said as he walked back in and looked at the box Eddie set up nodding his thanks as he set the cat down in the box and plopped down on the new, very comfortable, couch. Eddie sat next to him and draped an arm around his boyfriend and pulled him closer. Buck leaned over and kissed Eddie softly before turning his attention back to the cat as Eddie turned his attention back to the movie he had been watching when his boyfriend got home.
___
Eddie was going to kill him. He knew it. Eddie hated the cat and it had only been a single night, he promised he would take it to the shelter today but Buck couldn't bring himself to do it. Eddie was doing a store run and having lunch with his abuela, typically Buck would he there but he had the cat issue to deal with. Now he had to figure out a way to explain to why the cat was still here especially because-
"Is the cat in a onesie?" Eddie asked exasperated.
"Uh, no?" Buck said as he slowly put the cat in his hoodie all while staring dead at Eddie. "W-what cat babe?"
"Buck..." Buck hated the look Eddie gave him just then.
"Eddie I can't leave him there, you know how bad certain shelters are? Look maybe we can ask around and see if anyone wants a cat? Just keep him here until we find someone who is willing to take him?" Buck pleaded as he scratched the cats head. Eddie stood there for a moment before nodding.
"You call anyone yet?"
"Hen said she's not taking chances because of Paisley. Chim is allergic. Haven't tried anyone else yet though." Buck answered as he yawned.
"And Maddie won't take him because her and Chimney are always together." Eddie mumbled and Buck nodded.
"Could try Bobby or Carla?"
"Yeah but you know how Athena is Eddie. That's why I haven't called him."
"I could try to talk them into it." Eddie shrugged a shoulder crouching down in front of his boyfriend and staring at the cat who hissed at him.
"Wait...what about Pepa or abuela?" Buck asked and Eddie hummed to himself.
"Well... abuela does generally love animals. I'm sure she'd love the company. It's easy to keep up with, doesn't have to walk it..." Eddie pondered outloud.
"Abuela!...Yes of course, it's nice talking to you too...oh no everything is just fine with us...He's at a sleepover this weekend...I was wondering if you maybe wanted a cat? I found him last night and I don't want to bring him to a shelter around here...Yes, well to be honest I don't think he likes him very much either...mhm... okay I promise I will. Bye abuela." Buck smiled as he hung up the phone and looked at Eddie who raised an eyebrow at him. "She'll take him but also we're having dinner with her tommorow night."
"Why is it that I feel like she likes you more than she likes me?" Eddie laughed.
"Because she does, who wouldn't? I'm a delightful individual Edmundo." Buck smiled as he set the cat down and kissed his boyfriend who just rolled his eyes.
"I still can't believe you put it in a onesie Buck."
"Speaking of onesies..."
"Buck please tell me you didn't buy us one as well." Eddie groaned.
"They're really adorable though. Chris likes em."
"Buck!"
"I love you." Buck said laughing at Eddie's expression.
"I love you too but I'm not getting in one of those." Eddie said smiling against Buck's lips. Eddie knew that as soon as Christopher found out about Buck buying those onesies the man would cave. He always did.
-----
Super simple but I hope you like it!!! 💙💙💙 Thank you so much for the request 😭🙏🏻
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Text
Day 1 (10th of February) - Secret admirer @buddietinesweek
Secrets, Lies, and What You Hide Inside.
Today was starting out good as Buck didn’t hit much traffic on his way to work. He managed to be in before pretty much everyone today. Confusion crossed his face as Buck looked at the card currently in his locker. He picked it up as if it was dangerous to touch. No one was around to see so he read it out loud.
“I can’t keep my eyes off of you.” Buck flipped it over and held it up to the light as if there was invisible ink. No one had signed it.
He stuffed it into his bag before going to start his shift with the card on his mind the rest of the day.
Who was it from and why didn’t they sign it?
-
Eddie came in a little late but not too badly as he saw the others upstairs with Cap already having breakfast. He waved before going to change. He had his shirt in his hand ready to trade it for the one in his locker when something fell out of it and onto his feet.
He bent down to grab the fuzzy thing. It was two teddy bear holding a shared heart between them.
Eddie huffed amused. The tag on one of the ears was left blank. He started at the different colored bears before stuffing them back in and tugging on his shirt with a smile.
He didn’t give it another thought until later when they were coming back. Was it a friendly gift or a joke? The only gay guy he knew at the station worked the other crew shifts and he barely knew him.
“Something on your mind Eddie?” Buck asked.
“Yeah. No. It’s nothing. Nice save on that debris.”
“Ha. Gotta keep you safe man. You’d do the same for me.” Buck bumped Eddie as he returned to looking out the window of the truck.
Could it be-? No.
-
Buck walked up to his door. He froze and pulled out his phone.
“Athena!”
“Buck, what’s wrong?!” He heard her shuffling around.
“Someone left a package at my front door! My mail goes to a P.O. box or our mail room drawers. I didn’t know what to do.” Buck’s voice was shaky.
Athena huffed. “You piss off anyone lately kid? No right?” She must have closed her car door because buck heard it.
“I don’t think so. But, I- what if it’s.”
“Buck it’s okay. He’s still in jail. Do you know what day it is?”
“Yeah. It’s the tenth, of, February.”
“Yeah Buck. You don’t think it’s a Valentine’s gift. It could still be something you don’t want just not as bad. I’m almost at your place.”
Buck stood still until he heard Athena coming.
“You good?” she asked.
“I’m sorry. I just- I don’t know why. I forgot what day it was.” Buck apologized.
“It’s fine Buck. We have every reason to be a little jumpy but I highly doubt it’s that bad.”
Athena pulled out a pocket knife and opened it with Buck beside her.
Balloons floated out as chocolates were inside a sealed package from a local gift shop.
“Oh thank God.” Buck breathed a sigh of relief.
“See. Nothing to worry about. You feel better?”
“Yeah. Thanks Athena. I’m sorry I wasted your time.” 
“You’re never a waste of anything. Now go inside and get some sleep. If this secret admirer is any trouble you tell us alright?” Athena hugged Buck before going to leave.
Buck gathered the balloon strings and pulled it all inside.
They both had noticed there was no note or card on this one too. He sniffed the chocolate questionably before taking a bite, they had a crunchy inside to them.
Well at least it wasn’t that bad. Maybe he did jump to conclusions. But buck still had no idea of who it was. Whoever it was they had access to the firehouse and knew where he lived. He hoped they didn’t take rejection badly if he didn’t feel the same. If it wasn’t the person he wanted it too.
He thought about taking some to Eddie and Chris but how would he explain where he got it and why. Plus Eddie was just as tired after their late shift so he wasn’t going over just to wake him for the same reason he called Athena first.
Buck went up to bed and plopped down like a starfish.
“Who is it?” he wondered.
-
Eddie was checking his mailbox as he saw something on his windshield. He walked over to look at the paper..
“How the hell did I get a ticket? I didn’t-”
Eddie paused and looked around.
He grabbed the rose and opened the note tied to it.
“You’re always on my mind.”
No one was outside aside from Ms. Cooper and a jogger he barely waved to once in a while.
He took it inside with his mail.
“Aww Daddy, you got a rose for Valentine’s day?” Christopher looked up from his bowl.
“Umm. Yeah. I guess so. Let’s finish getting ready for school mijo.”
Eddie left it on the kitchen table along with the mail.
The last person to visit them was Buck. But he left before Eddie came inside and that wasn’t there. He wouldn’t turn around just for that, right?
Eddie was thinking. Whoever it was they knew his house and truck and snuck to deliver it. Then they got to his locker the other day too. It had to be someone he knew. Maybe it was-.
“Dad I’m ready!” Christopher said by the door.
-
Eddie walked into the firehouse with his secret weapon at the ready in his pocket.
He saw buck upstairs with the others. He got changed and headed up.
“Hey Buck. Can-”
“I need to talk to you.” Buck interrupted him.
“Yeah. Bunk room, now.” Eddie motioned over.
They didn’t see the others faces as they went to talk.
Buck closed the door to the empty room so they could have some privacy.
“I’ve been getting these gifts leading up to today. Did you-?” Eddie asked.
“Yeah. I did.” Buck said nodding. “And. I wanted to give you this.”
Buck pulled out a chocolate kiss and handed it over.
“I have something for you too.” Eddie smiled as he pulled out a conversation heart that read ‘I ♡ You’.
“Ha. We’re nerds.” Buck chuckled. 
“Wrong candy Buck.” Eddie laughed with him at that.
“I can’t believe you feel the same way. I- I’m really glad you sent those too me even if it was scary that one time.” Buck said pulling Eddie into a hug.
“Wait. What? ” Eddie asked.
“The box. I thought it was a bomb but you sent me those chocolates and balloons. I was so dumb I called Athena because I was scared.” Buck said.
“You have every right to be scared Buck. I’m glad you’re ok but I didn’t send that.” Eddie tilted his head.
“What are you talking about. You just said you were getting me these things leading up to Valentine’s today Eddie.” Buck said.
“No. I was getting gifts sent to me and I thought it was you that sent them to me. I got bears and a rose.” Eddie said.
“But. I didn’t get you anything. I couldn’t risk doing that. So you really didn’t get me anything? But, you do like me too though right? As more than a friend?” Buck looked like he was gonna throw up.
“Yes. God buck. I think I love you. I just couldn’t risk, us, this.” Eddie said.
“But if you didn’t give me gifts and I didn’t give you gifts then who did?” Buck asked as they heard movement outside.
“Ah ha. Caught you red handed!” Athena said.
“What?” “I’m innocent” “Thena?” 
Buck and Eddie moved to open the door.
“Aww man they were finally talking.” “The waiting for them to realize it's over we're free.” “I didn’t do anything” Hen, Chimney, and Bobby said as Athena looked at them.
“What’s going on?” Buck asked with Eddie in the doorway.
“Just these three meddlin’ is all. I bet Maddie was in on this too.” Athena said as Buck asked her to explain.
“The chocolates are from Maddie’s favorite place which I was reminded of this morning when I saw her. Chimney got her strawberries there. The bears Harry thought Bobby got me were in your locker weren’t they Eddie?” Athena asked.
“She’s really good.” Eddie said.
“You can say that again.” Buck nodded.
“I’m glad you’re not cheating but pretending to be Buck for Eddie. Bobby really? What’s all this matchmaker fever about? They’re grown men. They can talk and so can y'all,“ Athena said.
“You don’t have to work with them though.” “We can see it, they’re just blind.” Chimney and Hen said waving their hands up in exasperation.
“Wait. You two tried setting them up too?” Bobby said taking in what Athena said.
“Thank you.” Buck said silencing everyone. “If you’ll excuse me and my boyfriend to be we’ll be laughing at this actually working for us. Bye. Thanks for explaining things Athena.” Buck grabbed Eddie’s hand and and pulled him over to the couch.
“You’re lucky they didn’t get angry at you or this didn’t ruin their friendship. And you mister owe me a bear and dinner tonight. Happy Valentine’s.” Athena said pointedly before heading out.
“So, umm. Who wins that bet if all of us are disqualified for interfering now?” Chimney asked.
“Wouldn’t it be Thena?” Hen said as they saw her smirking as she turned to say good bye.
She totally knew it. And she was getting dinner to top off her winnings tonight.
-
“So Chimney and Hen got me stuff to make me think it was you. I can share the chocolate with you and Christopher now.” Buck said as they sat together.
“And i guess Bobby and maybe Maddie left me the bears and rose to think it was from you. I’m just glad you didn’t turn me down.” Eddie said smiling at buck.
“Pft. Like anyone would wanna turn you down. I had my own doubts to worry about.” Buck said.
“I’ll be happy to get rid of those if you’ll let me.” Eddie said grabbing Bucks hand.
“Yeah? I- think I’d like that.” Buck laughed.
Maybe they did owe the others for helping them in their round about odd ways.
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