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#and I CRY EVERY DAY over this
n0anix · 9 months
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insta liked this one
here's my favourite gals for the tumblr bunch too :]
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heartorbit · 2 months
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i'm sending this endless melody to a nameless you
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ginkgocrown · 6 months
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I’m doing a balancing act with a stack of fresh fruit in my basket. I love you. I want us both to eat well.
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spriteofmushrooms · 9 months
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It is a special time in every boy's life when he is exploded, emotionally gutted, stabbed, emotionally gutted again, and then shoved away from his shixiong who doesn't react, reopening his stab wound which if you care at all is over his heart. It is so, so important for boys to cry on the ground in front of everyone they've ever known. Boys love it when they're told that being with them was an obligation! A debt to be repaid! They love being told that the scales are even now, and knowing that they're not, and choosing not to burden that person with their sacrifice. And they love watching people walk away.
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mymarifae · 1 year
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i think the most important thing in the world is vbs being best friends who love each other so much and are super affectionate with each other like. listen to me:
- when toya hugs kohane he'll pick her up a tiny bit (a tiny bit is all he can manage. noodle arms) and she squeals with delight every time
- toya just really likes hugs in general. it's suuuuper common for him to just come up behind akito or an or kohane and wrap his arms around them and lean his head against theirs. hello and goodbye hugs with him always last a good 20 seconds because he won't let go sdjfjsnfkd
- kohane loooooves to tuck her hand in the crooks of her teammates' elbows while they're walking together. this way she won't get lost <3 sometimes she'll hold onto like, akito's elbow with one hand and an's with the other. it's very cute. and as vbs has grown closer, she's started to switch to hand holding. (don't tell anyone but akito's her favorite to hold hands with because he swings their arms as they walk and it's cute)
- also, kohane's hair tends to be messy because of her damn hats and this bugs akito so he spends a lot of time fussing over it. he'll just sort of...tug her closer and take out the pigtails and comb through it with his fingers. at some point she starts packing a brush in her bag to placate him. i like to think akito knows how to do hair because ena will sometimes make him do hers so after a while he stops just rebrushing kohane's hair and starts pulling it up in different ways... braiding it... etc... and he starts keeping things like hairspray in His bag. yknow. jic
- the hairstyling extravaganza extends to an and toya too. (i mean there's only so much akito can do with toya but he tries...) it's a calming thing for him - fiddling with his teammates' hair as they plan setlists or wait backstage. and having your hair played with is always nice <3
- i think shortly after teaming up an started giving kohane little kisses on the cheek. not as a romantic gesture - just simple affection! and after a while, she starts kissing toya and akito too. toya is always happy to lean down so she can pepper his face with little platonic kisses, but she usually has to wrestle akito. it's all in good fun and he'll always relent and let her kiss him in the end
- speaking of platonic kisses, i ALSO think that akito gives toya little kisses from time to time. it started back when they were still BAD DOGS. toya wasn't having a great time one night and after soothing him with a good sturdy hug, akito kissed the top of his head. it completely floored toya and akito blew up when he realized what he did. and they never fucking talked about it <3 but since toya didn't seem MAD about it, akito decided to stick with it and kept giving toya kisses like that. it's not common, and he ONLY does it when they're alone. except for when they make up after their little divorce arc in the main story. IGNORE the gunjo sanka mv and listen to me. they HUG after their heart to heart. and akito kisses toya's cheek. right around where he punched him
- but an's overaffectionate nature kind of rubs off on akito after a while. so he becomes less stingy when it comes to kisses and starts giving them to kohane and an too <3
- they lean against each other while sitting like kohane might cuddle into toya's side or an goes and lays her head on akito's shoulder
- and they have sleepovers and they fall asleep comfortably tangled up together (or not comfortably. at all. seriously cuddling while sleeping can get so uncomfy but it's worth it to be so close to someone you love). ken's taken quite a few adorable (and sometimes really funny) pictures of all four of them passed out on piles of blankets and futons. just dad things
i could go on forever it's just. platonic affection is so important to me and it's so frequently Ignored in fandom spaces. and in the case of vbs and the prsk fandom specifically, there's a tendency to separate vbs into akitoya VS anhane. which is so 💔 because the whole POINT of their story is that while they started off as separate duos, that's no longer the case! they've become such good friends. they're inseparable.
like even jokes about akito and an being "wlw and mlm hostility" are starting to wear on me because... they're friends, guys. they're incredibly close. akito is always looking out for an and is right by her side to support her through all the shit she's currently struggling with. there's no "hostility" present in their relationship. like, if you actually look at the game's text, an... rarely teases akito. the person who teases him the most is actually toya but you know... whatever... gotta reduce an down to a mean lesbian amirite... completely ignoring that she's one of the kindest characters in the whole game...
idk. i juuuuuust wish that this fandom wasn't so defensive and obsessive over shipping akitoya and anhane (mostly akitoya while anhane is a second thought but YOU KNOW) because it results in so many people watering down vbs as individuals And as pairs - because all they care about is shipping. like i promise that the other dynamics in vbs are worth exploring (both platonicallyand romantically but too much of this fandom still feels threatened by m/f vbs ships). and hell, explore akitoya and anhane on a platonic level, too! don't just jump to shipping them because teehee boyxboy and girlxgirl. take the time to understand what draws them together in the first place
i love friendship. i love when friends outwardly express their affection for each other and it doesn't have to have any romantic implications. can we talk about friendship for once like this game is literally The Ultimate Friendship Simulator feat. Hatsune Miku
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cinammonelles · 1 year
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Rei's special dish is french toast. He pretty much can't use his right hand anymore. Eggs are an essential ingredient in french toast. Which means Rei learned to do the one hand egg cracking thing.
The man who didn't even know where food was kept in the house can now crack eggs with one hand.
I'm so proud of him.
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flufflecat · 7 months
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Got to stolen century in my relisten and started tearing up at work because of magnus carving the duck. Just me in the back room, crying over the dish sink for normal reasons.
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How do you feel about Leah Sava Jeffries as Annabeth Chase, and why should we throw Leah a huge parte for being the annie we always deserve but never got much of
HELL YEAH ARE YOU KIDDING ME LEAHBETH IS THE BEST THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME THIS ENTIRE YEAR OH MY GODS AND GODDESSES im fully self aware that "i look like i would have been an annabeth kid" and its because i FOR SURE WAS WHY WOULDNT ANYONE BE she is The Character the MOMENt the ICON of the AGES and leah is adapting her energy to screen so ???? perfectly ?????? like did rick just shake the book and she fell out ??????? what sorcery is this?? ??????
no but in all seriousness leah is killing it as annabeth and its super clear that she did her research and understands the character (in interviews she talks about how she read annabeth povs in later books and did research on greek mythology and athena so she could understand the lightning thief not just from percys pov but from annabeth 🥺🥺 she so annabeth coded irl i adore her) and it genuinely shows like ive microanalyzed all her expressions because her facial acting has so much DEPTH and LAYERS and OH MY GODS leah deserves all the parties and we are so privileged to have her as our annabeth chase <3 imagine being that talented at like 13
im super excited to see what additions she makes to the character in this adaptation!!! already i think she's really highlighting annabeth's battle strategy smarts over just booksmarts which EVERYONE ALWAYS FORGETS ABOUT SHES NOT JUST A BOOK NERD SHES A FUCKING GENERAL HEAD OF THE ATHENA CABIN MOST FORMIDABLE DEMIGOD AT CAMP AS A 12 YEAR OLD the duality is giving me LIFE and i love how she gets to boss around percy and grover (leah also talked about loving to get to be in charge and competitive as annabeth which shes SO REAL FOR THAT shes such an annabeth type) BUT ALSO YOU ALREADY GET TO SEE HER VULNERABILITIES AND INSECURITIES AND THE WAY SHE CARRIES HERSELF THAT MAKES HER SIMULTANEOUSLY COOL BUT ALSO IS A REFLECTION OF TRAUMA AND POOR EMOTIONAL COPING yeah basically shes not just giving us annabeth shes giving us annabeth but MORE and its making me understand her character BETTER and in a NEW way (and if you have anything to say about her portrayal in the show i will genuinely pull up with a full ass powerpoint slideshow because IF YOU MEDIA COMPREHEND FOR TWO SECONDS AND KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER CHARACTER IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE AND ITS SO JUICY AND JALKDJFKBL)
i think about that shot of her looking at percy using medusas head through the screen porch ALL THE TIME. and her delivery of "grover can you tell your friend to pull himself together" LIKE THATS WHEN SHE TURNS TO HER PROTECTOR FOR HELP AND IT HAS A LITTLE BIT OF A SASSY IM-BETTER-THAN-YOU-PERCY VIBE TO IT BECAUSE SHES HIDING THE FACT THAT SHES SCARED AND UNCOMFORTABLE TO TALK ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER UNAVAILABLE MOM (and percy sees right through that just as she sees right through percy and oh my gods if i get started on percabeth ill never shut up)
anyways thanks for giving me an opportunity to go on a mini rant about leahbeth i could say so much more because when i say ive analyzed every frame my girl is in i am NOT joking
but ill just end by saying that anyone who is upset by show annabeth being black literally did not understand her as a character or the percy jackson books in general so they can stfu and get their little butthurt wrong opinions out the door bc they dont belong here anyway <3 rick and becky also talked about how they hired black sensitivity readers to help write annabeth's blackness more authentically into her character in the show so very much hoping that they do that well! and im overall just super excited to see what changes they make to adapt my favorite character to a new era, a new medium, and a new audience!
go treat yourself to some leah interviews because i actually adore her and will protect her and annabeth (though arguably theyre one and the same) with my life <3
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Me: my fav hazbin character is the one who drugs people into a fabricated "happiness" to better manipulate them into doing what they want and also openly sexually assaults people
Them: oh so u mean valentino-
Me:
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irulan · 1 day
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thebirdandhersong · 2 months
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alas babes I literally cannot defend this man's name anymore except in the name of ignorance which. you can only claim ignorance for so long
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stupot · 2 months
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qinghe-s · 2 years
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currently spinning the thought in my head that... we’re told how empathy shows what someone most wants to share & so much of nie mingjue’s empathy sequence is about lan xichen. like, yes, it’s about what jgy did but there is still a significant amount of focus on lxc’s kindness and warmth.
this is someone who’s stewed in his own hatred for a decade and still what he is saying is not just this is what was done to me; this is who did it but also this man is innocent and kind and nothing of what happened was his fault. even through death and a resentment so intense it surprised wei fucking wuxian, nie mingjue only ever shows lan xichen in a positive light. even knowing that his death was plotted and executed using tools given by lan xichen, nie mingjue thinks him blameless because those tools were handed out with nothing but good and pure intentions.
like. what the fuck. come on.
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fixfaxfxckyou · 9 months
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hi its been 3 months and i still can't get over the fact that i saw mcr live and somehow these photos of gerard are ones i actually took can u believe she's real??? bc i can't
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skoulsons · 9 months
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“Ellie?”
She had kept herself closed off most of the day, doing as much as skipping meals, not sketching, and declining their routine movie night.
Joel turned the knob, opening the door only slightly. “Ellie?”
“What?” She bit. She was around the corner, still in bed.
He bit his cheek. “Can I come in?”
She sniffled, a mumbled yeah from around the corner to let him know it was okay. He entered, keeping the door somewhat open behind him. He found her on her back, covers pulled up to her shoulders as she stared at the ceiling, counting imaginary stars.
The look on her face was a sure sign, as any, that things were not good.
He sat by her feet, the corner of the mattress sinking down as he sat, her feet following suit and lightly falling against his lower back.
“Do you need something?”
Joel inhaled and exhaled. He kept his hands awkwardly in his lap. “I wanted to check up on you.”
“Why? I’m fine,” she grumbled, eyes still glued to the ceiling.
“You sure?”
She wasn’t. She knew she wasn’t fine. Every possible thought about Joel, Tommy, Maria, Riley, Sam, or Henry that wasn’t positive made its way to the forefront of her brain, twisting everything she knew about them. Making her believe things that she was sure weren’t true. Convincing her of truths that were hard to shake.
Everything is still so new to them. Young and needing navigation and direction. Their relationship and being together now, no plan in sight of leaving or disregarding the other.
She has someone in her life now who cares about her. Who has cared about her for over a year. Someone who dedicates every single day to being present. Who always makes breakfast for the two of them. Someone who holds her when she cries and who lifts her up even higher when she’s happy. Who carries her to bed when she needs it and finds her new comics when he’s outside the walls. Who protects her at every moment and encourages her to eat and shower when she struggles.
Someone who loves her.
And that revelation is what makes these days even harder.
“Hey…” he nudged, turning his body slightly more towards her. “What’s goin’ on, baby?”
Ellie sighed, closing her eyes tightly, waves of colors forming in the black of her vision the harder she squeezed. She opened them, her eyesight wavering as tears pooled at her eyelids. The imaginary stars on the ceiling kept her gaze, still avoiding Joel’s concern.
“Today just… hasn’t been good.”
And while he knew it, hearing it from her still hurts to know. Whatever happened, it hurts to know she’s struggling.
“I think it’s been little worse than hasn’t been good.” It felt inappropriate to point out her near crying and the tight-lipped expression on her face in an attempt to keep her emotions at bay.
“I’m just… having fucked up thoughts,” she sighed, tracing all the constellations she knew into the white of the ceiling.
Joel didn’t say anything. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to say.
Neither of them were the best at talking. Sharing something that pissed them off, frustrated them, or upset them and navigating that conversation in a healthy manner always felt like forcefully pulling teeth before they ever broke the surface of the gums.
Joel hopes his silence is an invitation for her to continue. He wants to help, to walk through what bothering her with her.
“I…,” she started, choking slightly on the syllable. “I feel like people don’t care. They don’t care, they don’t…love.”
Joel tilted his head to the side, eyeing her avoidant gaze.
Ellie brought her hand up and wiped it across her right temple. Her voice wavered, her lip quivering as she spoke, “me.”
Joel had an inclination, but hearing it still hurt all the same.
“I feel like people…” she paused, sniffled heavily. She lazily raised her arm off the bed in his direction, “you… don’t.”
Frustrated, Ellie sat up, her back making content with the headboard harder than she intended. She locked eyes with him momentarily before avoiding his gaze again, fixing hers around the room. Her dresser, a heap of clothes on the floor, her blinds, and the open door.
She stopped keeping her head upright and let the crown of her head fall back, banging against the headboard. She sighed, a wet, embarrassing laugh escaping her. “I… I know. I know you do. I do. But sometimes, I just… get convinced you don’t.”
She fiddles with her hands in her lap as her tears threaten to spill over, Ellie massaging her fingers and cracking her knuckles, even with nothing left to crack. She picks at her cuticles and nails uncomfortably, clearing her throat to get rid of the tight burning that has coated it.
“What convinces you?” Joel asked, his eyes looking twenty years younger—like he’s talking to someone else entirely. Like he’s held a similar conversation before.
His question stumps her.
And she realizes it’s nothing. Nothing has ever convinced her. Nothing could convince her that Joel doesn’t care about her. Nothing could ever truly convince her that Joel doesn’t love her.
He may get frustrated over something. He may be extra tired some days. He may spend a little more strength some days fighting his own demons that it’s hard to be there 100% for her.
But those things don’t mean he doesn’t love her. They don’t mean he wouldn’t lay down his life for her at any given moment. They don’t mean he doesn’t look at her with anything less than adoration, devotion, and appreciation for who she is. Who she is and what she has come to mean to him.
“Have I ever done anything-“
She cut him off. “No. No, no. Fuck no, never.” She threw the crown of her against the headboard again, a few tears spilling down the side of her face and flowing along her jawline. She hastily wiped them away, clearing her throat.
“I don’t know. I don’t know. I guess I… don’t think I deserve it or something. So I look at you or Tommy or I… I remember Riley or Sam or anyone else and I… I think they don’t—didn’t care.”
She knows they do. Riley—she knows. Sam she knows. Henry, too. Tommy and Maria—she knows. Joel—he she knows better than any of the others.
“I remember them or I…” she brought her head down from her gaze on the ceiling and looked at him, clearly, for the first time. “I look at you and I wonder why.”
She cries. Her lips pressed together, not enough breath in her lungs to combat the tears falling down her face and slipping down her neck, soaking the collar of her shirt. She wipes and wipes and wipes until her tear-soaked hands can’t catch anymore and they flow freely. She dries her hands on her sheets and it’s still not enough to catch every single one.
Joel moves quickly, his right hand lightly on her shin as he reaches his left out towards her, keeping it held right above her lap for her to feel.
She can barely see, and yet she reaches out, knowing he’s there. Trusting he’s there.
She grabs his left hand with her right, holding it until her knuckles turn white and it hurts. Until it stings and her fingers go numb. Until her hand shakes and the blood flow is cut off from her fingertips.
He moves his right hand from her shin to press a fist into the mattress on the other side of her, scooting himself closer to her. He settles closer to her, bringing his right hand up her shoulder and eventually finding its home on her cheek. He strokes his thumb across it, more tears falling as she leans into it. She turns her head into it, her lips in his palm as he continues wiping her tears.
He pulls his hand back from her face and brings it to her other cheek, sliding his knuckles across to clear the streaks of tears. He returns his hand back to her other cheek, lightly scratching at the roots of her hair on the back of her neck.
Ellie grabs the collar of her shirt with her left hand, wiping the snot from her nose and using any drier part of her shirt to dry her neck and chin.
Joel lifts his left hand to bring up to her face, but a mumbled, snotty no keeps it in her lap, Ellie still clutching it.
She continues to sniffle, finally opening her eyes to see Joel looking back at her, a streak down the left side of his face, right by his ear.
“I’m sorry,” she says, quickly averting her gaze from his.
He smiles slightly, rubbing those all-comforting circles with his thumb over hand. He brings his hand up from her cheek as she closes her eyes, using two fingers to drag hairs down her forehead and tuck them behind her ear.
They didn’t need to be tucked away—but the affection always comforts her.
She takes his right hand in her left, bringing it down into her lap next to their other hands. She watches their hands intently as she rubs circles on his with her right hand and he rubs circles on hers with his right.
“Hey,” he whispers, trying to get her attention. It does, and she looks up at him. The tug on the corner of his lips reaches his eyes. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“No it’s… it’s stupid. I shouldn’t be crying over something I know isn’t true…”
“You know it’s not true?”
She inhales a shaky breath and exhales one just as heavy. She focuses on it, keeping any other tears down as best she can through controlled breathing.
“Yeah. Yeah I… I know.” She pauses for another breath. “But sometimes it’s… fucking difficult. I don’t…” she hesitates, shaking slightly, “I don’t want to look at you and wonder why.”
She chokes, wiping her cheek on the shoulder of her shirt. She feels her back against the headboard and adjusts slightly, rolling her shoulder blades over it.
She looks up at him. His eyes still hold that twenty-year-old look. They glisten because of the tears gathered in them, and the loving smile that hasn’t quite reached his lips has already hit his eyes.
“I’ll remind you. Every day, if I have to—if you want me to. Even if you don’t, I might jus’ have to-“
She laughs—giggles—at that. He laughs too, the kind of laugh that resides deep in his chest. The one that sounds better through his rare toothy smile. The laugh she only hears so often. The laugh when he thinks he’s done something right. The almost triumphant laugh when he seems to have cheered her up.
Ellie smiles, watching his own unwavering smile. “You can, if you think about it. I mean, I won’t expect it every day. If you forget some days, it’s fine. I’m not-”
“Ellie.”
“Sorry.”
Joel takes note of her. The dried tears along her cheeks. Her red and puffy eyes. The way her nose is red. The soaked collar of her shirt.
He doesn’t want to see her like this again. Not over thoughts like this.
“Will reminding you help? You know… keep thoughts like this away?”
She opens her mouth to speak, but it hits her that she doesn’t know. She’s never been positively reminded, certainly not daily, that someone cares for and loves her. No one’s been constant enough to tell her the truths she missed out on as a child. No one’s stuck around long enough for them to mean anything. No one has ever loved her enough to say them and mean them. Nothing other than doubt, hesitation, or reluctance has followed such reminders.
“I don’t know. I think, I… I hope. I don’t know, I’ve… never had someone who did something like that.”
He doesn’t frown at the thought, but his smile fades. Sadness, disbelief at the thought, the truth that she’d never had this before. “Well… we can try it out. You can tell me if you hate it ‘n we can try something’ else.” He smiled again as he rubbed more circles along her hands. “Sound fair?”
She smiles, tears welling at her eyes again. One spills over, Ellie fervently nodding in response to Joel’s question before too many more tears follow.
He lets go of her left hand and opens his arm up, welcoming her in. She scoots into him, tucking her body against him. She lets her legs freely fall into his as she leans against his body, his right arm coming across her back and holding her shoulder tightly. She keeps her face hidden away as best she can in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Her right hand finds the bottom of his shirt, rubbing the fabric back and forth between her fingers.
Joel kisses her head, leaving his lips pressed into her hair briefly. “I just… I don’t want this to become something you know is true. Cause it ain’t.”
“It won’t. I… I know it’s not true.”
He kisses her head again, a muffled good reverberating through her. He rubs her upper arm a few times.
“Come here,” he says, letting go of her shoulder and standing up.
She smiles shyly, standing up and wasting no time to hold on to him, her arms wrapping around his middle and settling behind his back. She rests her ear right over his heart, the thump-thump drowning the world out. Drowning her thoughts. Her feet stand in between his, Ellie attempting to get as close to him as she can.
Joel, just like every time before and every time to come after, keeps a steady hand across her back and one behind her head, carefully threading his fingers through her hair. He tilts his head down, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.
He sways them gently, covering her back in hand-drawn lines, circles, and a myriad of other shapes. “This is your first reminder.”
She giggles at that.
Something bubbles in her chest. A fire. Butterflies—as cheesy as she thinks that is—it fits. It tickles, in a way. It reaches her finger tips and warms her skin. It helps her breathe easier and keeps her heartbeat beat in rhythm with his. It slows her thoughts and relaxes her shoulder. It lets her relax completely against his embrace.
The reminder is there. The reminder of his care and protection, no matter what. The reminder of the steadfast, uncompromising, sacrificial love that he has for her.
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flythesail · 10 months
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Countdown to Nancy Drew: 1 Day
"I lied to the man that I love to save his life. And now I have to spend the rest of mine paying this terrible price."
— 3x13: The Ransom of the Forsaken Soul
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