#and I NEVER validate that kind of shit here

[essektheylyss]

Listen, some of us would actually like to get through our eternally-growing reading lists, and if someone was like, "Hey, do you want to get reincarnated and get all of your memories back," I would simply say yes.

rip to Essek Thelyss and all of his concerns about dunamancy or whatever but I'm built different.

#what the FUCK kind of amoral wizard are you bro. dont you have books to read. #can't even commit to that level of personal risk. like sir you could never achieve lichdom if even this is too much of a concern #this is NOT about caleb his decisions are valid and i support him #but little barely an adult essek over here like 'no i DON'T want to have eternity to get through every book in the marble tomes' #what the fuck kind of decision making. and i know it's not some concept of 'well what if the ages turn and the world goes to shit' #cuz a) you can just die if you want to and b) he was CLEARLY not thinking that far ahead given the beacon heist. #anyway i did 50/50 books last year but this year I'm halving my word count goal and doubling my reading goal so i can maaaybe make a dent #as if i wont add several dozen to the list while I'm at it #because there's not enough TIME GODDAMMIT

[wikagirl]

man I always love it when I get intived to a new discord server and joint the vc to meet new peeps, get asked where I'm from, say that I'm german and instnatly get demands to say something racist in a certain german dictators accent tossed at my head.

And then somehow I'm the unreasonable one and overreacting for just instantly leaving again.

#and i's always specifically dudes from either america or eastern europe too??? #which always frazzels me especially for the eastern european ones #considering the amount of damange germany dealt there in ww2 one might think they'd also find this shit as horrible as I do #but apparently not #I'm sorry but if you geuinely think that type of shit is funny then you need to go take a hike and never return #I've met people from over seas who enguinely still think that heil h-tler is still a valid socially acceptable greeting over here #when in reality it is literally outlawed to say outside of for example media about the time period like a docu series with reenactment part #but otherwise saying that shit in public can and will get you into trouble #it can even get you detained #thinking that any of that shit is okay is digusting to me #germany as a nation has put so much work into getting away from that shit and becoming a better country #we've been trying so hard to make amends with those we harmed and learn from our countries past to not repeat it #and this kind of behavoir just spits right onto all that effort as well as the faces of the victims of ww2

[shorthaltsjester]

imodna to me is c3 widojest (i am not a fan of widojest)

#but i am Intrigued by imodnas romantic possibilities just not as the like weird . aesthetic based cottage core shit #like caleb and jesters friendship and interactions are some of my favourite #and they both supported each other in ways others didn’t #but they also just . they didn’t really challenge each other about Big things . even early on the money thing was quickly resolved #like caleb supported jester completely about traveler stuff which was Nice but not what i would necessarily consider Kind #and jester supported caleb completely about his past without knowing the details and saying he was a good person and friend #and those are both Nice things. #but in different ways they ignore/deny entire facets of what makes one another who they are #faced with everyone supporting her relationship w the traveler jester never would’ve been able to admit the hurt it was causing her #n faced with people who didn’t care about his past caleb would have never learned how to face it #and like that doesn’t mean their roles for each other aren’t important #but unlike caleb n jester . imogen n laudna have not developed significant relationships with other members #(but i think this is slowly changing . particularly w imogen n fearne and laudna n ashton) #but like . as their only supports . imogen doesn’t see any of laudna’s genuine darkness as belonging to laudna . she assigns it to delilah #and laudna never challenges imogen’s alignment with the philosophy that validated laudna’s second murder #even the gnarlrock conflict wasn’t like . Here’s Why I Reacted As I Did on either side it was both of them making assumptions of one another #imogen that it was just delilah and laudna that imogen’s reaction was absolutely her own #which . perhaps . but also those are external assignments of meaning not internal reflections yk ? #anyway this isn’t important i just saw a post comparing widobrave n imodna n have been ruminating on this comp for a while #imogen temult #laudna #jester lavorre #caleb widogast #caleb & jester #imogen + laudna #imodna #widojest #critical role #cr2 #cr3

[pepprs]

beaver gnawing on wood noises

#purrs #delete later #this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or #idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who #like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different. #and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the #knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know #there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find #magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o #one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me #the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all #these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live #with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it. #and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other. #and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so #hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they #are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who #im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all #appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a #symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will #never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want #love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3 #like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling #and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and #bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[etherealspacejelly]

Some of my opinions, in no particular order

golf courses should be abolished. mini golf can stay. actual golf? no. golf courses take up so much water to maintain their grass, grass which, btw, is a monoculture and bad for wildlife. the area that golf courses take up could be used for affordable housing, or natural areas left to grow with wild native plants that are better for the insect populations. but nooo, we gotta use all this land so that stuck up rich people can play the most boring game ever invented. bullshit.

the police should be abolished. i would settle for defunding but really they just need to go.

children are people, treat them as such. kids have thoughts and feelings that are just as real and valid as yours.

on a similar vein, you are allowed to not want children, but that doesn't give you a free pass to hate kids or be mean to kids. they didnt ask to be here, be kind.

there should be a maximum wage. after a certain point, there is no amount of labour you could possibly do to Earn that much money. your workers earned that money, and you are stealing it from them.

there is a difference between millionaires and billionaires. when i say eat the rich im not talking about actors and musicians, im talking about people who are directly responsible for poverty, hunger, suffering, and homelessness around the world. people who hoard obscene amounts of wealth that No One could ever hope to spend in an entire lifetime and simply watch while minimum wage workers struggle to put food on the table and the elderly freeze in their homes.

sex ed should start in primary school, at an age-appropriate level. if kids are old enough to ask questions about sex, they are old enough to learn about it in a safe environment. they should be taught correct anatomical names for body parts (penis, vulva, vagina, etc.).

there should be more research into autism and ADHD in adults, this shit doesn't just go away when you grow up.

diagnostic criteria for disabilities, disorders, and mental health conditions should be written by people who have or have had these conditions. how is someone supposed to know if they have autism, for example, if the symptoms are written from the perspective of someone who has never experienced it?? doesn't make any fucking sense.

hostile architecture should be illegal. unhoused people deserve a place to sleep. or better yet, give them houses. there are literal studies done that prove that housing people saves the government money in the long run, so why aren't we doing that? make it make sense

edit: updated to add more clarity to the golf thing. didn't explain that one well enough and left some people confused

#autism #lgbt #neurodivergent #activism #communist

[shapard]

Feather of Fate🕊️

Lucifer x Seraphim!fem!reader

Soulmate arc

naughty naughty Lucifer

Lucifer thinking about you riding his dick and face

A little bit NSFW mentioned

Snake in Paradise

Chapter 2 < Chapter 3 > Chapter 4

Your mind screamed at you to leave but you couldn’t move. Your whole body was shivering but didn’t even move an inch.

Lucifer could feel how you started to feel uncomfortable. 

Ache

He wasn’t going to point it out, but his heart started to ache every second more and harder. 

For you everything made sense. The puzzles starts to fit in.

How you feel comfortable around him, how his divine smell that made you weak and crumble to your knees. 

How his touch excites you and makes you feel like a fool in love. 

He probably doesn’t know that you are his Soulmate. But when this is true, then what is the deal with Lilith? 

Where is she anyways? Isn’t she supposed to be on his side, ruling hell together. Why is he all Alone?

The question is easy to answer but you can’t Imagine that she’d just leave him. How can she not want him? Did She cheat on him, and they got a divorce? Or did he do something unforgivable.

Either way you wouldn't let him go.

Lucifer couldn’t take it anymore. This ache.

You were deep in thoughts with a sad expression on your face. which only fueled this ache more.

Ache

his heart ached as he looked at you. He can’t look away, but he wants to. Not wanting to see you in this kind of state.

With a heavy deep breath, he started talking. “Is everything alright?”

Snapping out of your thoughts your gaze shifted from his mark towards his face. Worried laced his pearl white face. 

“Yeah, yeah… of course. Everything’s alright.” 

That was the worst lie ever. 

Lucifer smiled a bit, “You know, it’s okay to feel what you feel. It’s one hundred percent valid. God Y/n, you fell from heaven a couple days ago. Just sit down, relax, and let me take care for you.” He wants that you to have a good time in hell after you recover. 

Cute, 

That’s what’s running through your mind. Forgetting your worries about the soulmate mark.

Maybe this isn’t all bad.

But one Question was buzzing in your head like a mosquito mid summer. 

Where is Lilith and why isn’t she here?

And why does it bother you so much?

…

Sera was in a heating discussing. 

The tension was so thick that you couldn’t even cut it with a knife.

Michael's angry gaze didn’t help at all.

“Michael I can explain- I.“ Sera stopped mid-sentence not knowing how and where to start. 

Azrael raised his hand, not wanting to hear Sera’s useless apologize. 

“You know Sera, you’re in deep shit.” Azrael shifted his paper in his hand to look on this case. 

“You didn’t Informed us about the extermination, nor asked for permission. Never thought you wanted to play God, Sera.” Gabriel looked at Sera with zero Emotions.

But his Voice let everyone fall for him. His smooth voice is alluring. 

And He knows it.

And he uses it.

Letting everyone fell in this trap of comfort, to trust him with everything.

And then he will use it against you.

Just like he did with his brother.

“It was something what I had to do. They were uprising I-.” Michael let out a loud hmpf, showing Sera that he’s not pleased at all. His head rested on his fist, looking down at Sera.

“Uprising? You’ve got to be kidding me. Sera look, I don’t have time for your bullshit. You want to end up like Lucifer?” the weight of this topic only filled the tension even more than before. 

“Or like your own daughter?” Azrael added for her demise. He raised a brow, now finally taking a look at the Seraphim Infront of him.

She felt Embarrassed and bare as if she’s naked.

Laid for them ready on a golden plate for them to be devour. 

But the moment they involved you in it, she has to say something.

“Leave my daughter out of this!”

“Wasn’t it your idea to decent her from heaven?” Michael showed the document with your case that led you to fall from heaven into hell, “You’re quite a terrible mother you know.” Michael threw the document infront of Sera and Gabriel glared at Michael for his childish behavior.

“I Apologize for my brothers behavior, but he does speak the truth. Your daughter didn’t deserve That punishment you gave her.” Gabriel looked on your Information Paper. 

“Seems that you couldn’t tolerate that she was against you.” Azrael sighed, disappointed in Sera. “You got a pretty daughter, you know.”

Sweat dripped down Sera’s forehead, everything but you. Even after all she's done to you, she still loves you dearly.

“You know father said that she should come back to heaven, and you’ll be thrown into hell Instead. Prove us that you’re still worth residing in heaven.” Gabriel announced, stopping his brother with their blabbering about some fallen Seraphim.

...

In the end of the meeting, they discussed that they give Sera one last chance and get you back somehow. 

But the "how" was the unsolved question. And no one has the answer for it. 

But for the worst part. Michael seemed very interested in you.

…Time Skip…

Lucifer paced nervous Infront of your room. 

He finally told Charlie that he had found a fallen angel in the front yard of his Home. 

Since then, you got your own room to live in.

Charlie pressured her father that she wants to see you and show you around. 

But knowing how difficult it could be for you, he was nervous. Will you hate him after this? No, right?

He laughed nervously and grabbed his hair lightly. 

“Hey Y/n. I know you just fell from heaven, but do you want to meet my daughter!... No that’s not good. Fuck, ehm…” gipping his hair tighter he paced quicker from side to side on the carpet on the floor.

“Luci?” The door creaked open revealing you in your cute, oversized nighty he bought you not long ago.

His heart melted at his new given nickname. 

You two kind of grew close these last days. 

“What are you doing here this early?” Lucifer's shoulder was now all tense again. Right, he’s not here to eat breakfast with you. 

“Hello dearest. I want you to meet the other guest and employees around this place! Get you socialized” He laughed nervously, the look on your face already gave him the answer. 

You slammed the door into his face. That was unexpected.

“Okay rude?” Lucifer knew you wouldn’t like the idea of going out but slamming the door into his face. It irked him. 

'Fuck' he thought.

Standing Infront of your door kind of dumb folded.

Inside your room you were running around and looking for a decent good-looking outfit. 

Squealing like a teenager.

In these last days you were living in hell you began to love this place.

Even though you rarely go out. You still feel uncomfortable in the new area, but it was better than heaven. 

Way better.

Very Brutal sometimes but you could live free and in peace.

You can watch Tv and eat Ice cream, not doing anything like annoying paperwork all day. 

You rarely watch Tv though because Lucifer hates Tv. Saying it makes people dumb, maybe it’s true but where’s the fun in that. 

Finally finding a nice dress, heels and to top it all: over knees! To make it all cute. Smiling at your outfit you nod, and you were ready to go.

You re-opened the door where Lucifer was standing in all his mighty, looking perplexed at your now opened door. 

Lucifer was about to leave but in the exact moment you opened the door revealing you in a very very pretty dress.

Lucifer already can’t get enough. 

The dress hugged your body perfectly showing your juicy curves that makes him weak and drool on spot. 

His cheeks warmed up and he felt his blood going from his head towards his pants.  

Oh god have mercy with him.

Coughing in his clawed hand he tried to hide his upcoming arousal. 

‘Now is not the perfect timing Lucifer.’ 

He regained his posture and smiled at you, “You look Amazing, eh- I meant pretty haha, the dress fits you.” He awkwardly laughed hoping that you didn’t catch up with whatever that was. 

Fucking Simp.

“Thank you, this dress is indeed very pretty.” You looked at your dress and spun a bit letting the dress move swiftly and smooth around your body. 

God, you should stop. 

He already has to take a cold shower. 

He turned rather fast away from you.

It hurt somehow, wasn’t it attractive enough to him? 

The one thing you didn’t know is that he was aroused and all what he wanted is to just claim you right here in your room. 

He gestures you to follow him and you let out a frustrated huff. 

Following him through the red, white halls down to the main opening.  

There was a tall spider like creature standing there and beside him was a tall girl with red circle on her cheeks.

Charlie! 

You remember her. 

And the aftermath that happened after that meeting.

The memories and flashbacks were harsh, water started well in your eyes. 

The scar on your back started to sting, you touched it and massaged it with hope that it would help with the shadow pain.

Looking around for lucifer for support you couldn’t find him.

Lucifer was gone for a couple of seconds to deal with that little problem you caused. 

He felt kind of disgusted by himself. 

You were so Innocent and sweet and here he was taking a quick cold shower to calm his aroused bulge that grew in his pants. 

In the last days he was whipped with you in no time. 

Such kind of euphoric he hasn’t felt before, not even from his ex-wife Lilith. 

He wanted to drown in this new warm feeling.

Every time he spent time with you, he felt like the happiest man Alife. 

He was sure that in his demonic form his tail would wag in happiness like a dog. 

He switched off the shower the cold.

When this happens again he won’t survive this.

You were just too pretty, Innocent, and sexy. 

He can’t wait to see you milk and cream on his dick. 

Hearing you cry out of pleasure while he sucks your pretty pussy dry.

You gripping his horns out of overstimulation and riding his face and dick just to get that high again.

He whines at that thought.

Throwing cold water into his face to get those Images out of his head, “you’re such a pervert.”

Ache

He knew something was wrong. This ache always came when you weren’t okay.

Teleporting himself beside you, he saw you in a panic like state. Alarming him.

“Y/n, did something happen?”

His sudden presence scared you. You let out a small scream alarming everyone in the main hall. 

You apologized and glared at Lucifer for scaring you so badly. “We don’t have to-“ do this Today

A loud gasp interrupted Lucifer. Charlie’s eyes were literally sparkling when she saw you. “OMG, You’re the Angel that my father found?!” 

She ran to you and gave you a crushing hug. 

Lucifer and Vaggie looked at the scene that was unfolding. 

Angel dust was eating ice cream and ignored Charlie’s shouting, he was used to it. 

Lucifer admit that he felt a sting on his mark, weird. Vaggie’s eye was twitching out of annoyance she didn’t like how close they were.

Letting you go Charlie’s smile was so bright you swear you could get blind because of it. 

“I’m so excited to show you around!” She was still holding you tight when she was pulling you around.

“Charlie.” Her father’s serious voice made her stop. She looked at him in surprise of his sudden shift of mood. “Be gentle with her, she’s still new here.” Charlie’s grip loosened and she nods at her father. 

She continued to show you around and introduced everyone to you. She was so similar like her father, and it was so sweet.

You could get used to this; this was way better than your life in heaven.

…

Back in the main hall. You sat down on the couch watching Alastor and Lucifer get into a fight. 

Angel dust and Husk were talking, and Nifty tried to kill the bugs in the area.

Charlie and Vaggie started to prepare an exercise, so you didn’t saw them near by.

But all the comforting living atmosphere was short lived. 

A loud Bang followed with a broken wall and dust all over the place. 

You coughed as you breathed in the dust that filled the whole room. Lucifer’s wings appeared on his back and he blew the dust away from the two of you. 

Since when was he Infront of you?

“This fucking wall is cursed I tell y’all.” Vaggie nods at Angel Dust sudden outburst. Something was definitely wrong with that wall.

Meanwhile Lucifer growled softly at the danger. He already knows who it was. Someone he hoped he wouldn’t see anymore in his lifetime. 

“What are you doing here, Michael?” He growled. His demonic form scratching in the back of his head, wanting to protect his mate from this Man. 

“Can’t an older brother visit his younger Brother?”

A/n: I want to thank you all who Liked, repost and commented on this story❤️ Thank you so so sooooo muuchhh<3333

Thank you to the new follows❤️ This is all so crazy😭✋🏽

Like OMFG LOVE YOU POOKIES❤️❤️ Can't wait to give you more of this story and even beyond<3

⭐💫

@ayanazoldyck

#y/n #hazbin lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #shapard #lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel #soulmate #hazbinhotel #lucifer morningstar #fem reader

[secretwritingspot]

High Maintenance

Pairing: OPLA Sanji x Reader

COME GET Y'ALLS DINNER I'M BACKKK!!!

Rating/Content Warnings: like...pg-16ish? Idk there's nudity and a lot of suggestive shit and kinda a little bit of groping (consensual, obvs) heavy-petting I guess might be the right term? But there's no outright fucking so do with that what you will.

Summary: Okay but Sanji with a high-femme reader. Like...we know how much this man likes women so I feel like he'd be all over a super femme person. Basically he has a fascination with all their fancy bath products that borders on is pervy because what do all those even do??? Eventually reader just decides to let him watch and find out.

Disclaimer(s): Since it's directly related to the plot, reader is stated as a woman in this, so if that's uncomfy for you to read keep that in mind and keep yourself safe! This idea came to me because I just finished finals and got to properly do self care for the first time in ever and wash all the finals grime off lmfao. Also there's nothing REALLY sub!Sanji about this but also...there's vibes. Damn Taz Skylar for portraying a character so babygirl that even me, quite possibly the world's biggest sub, sees him and is like...yeah I could tell him what to do once or twice.

As much as he tried, Sanji just didn't understand.

Sure, he was far better then the others - leagues away from Luffy and Zoro in terms of hygiene - but he was still a man. And a pirate, at that.

It baffled him the sheer number of products you had- a brush, towel, some sort of sugar concoction, all for the same purpose. A more traditional shampoo, similar to the kind he used, for initially cleaning off all the (your words) "pirate grime". Another, "gentler" shampoo for your hair. Which only doubled his confusion, as he had been under the impression that all shampoo was for hair. 2 different razors, scented body wash, colorful soaps.

@@@

His eyes bend to you when you walk into the galley to move through to the bathroom - towel, change of clothes, and multiple bottles in your arms.

It isn't uncommon for you and Sanji to meet this way. He's nearly always in the kitchen, and the hall to the bathroom cuts through the galley. Still, his heart warms every time you stop and set down all the numerous - he'll never understand what all those different products could possibly do - things in your arms on your side of the counter and take a stool, smiling at him.

Without fail, you stop for a few moments every time on your way to the bath just to talk with him, and every time it makes his heart race and his breath catch happily.

"Hey, Sanji."

"Evening, love." He answers, voice deceptively easy. He hopes you'd never know just how much effort goes in to that 'easy' temperament he has around you, but sometimes he thinks it's obvious. "What brings you down here at...2:30 in the morning?"

You laugh softly when he mentions the late hour, ever the type to worry over you getting enough sleep, shrugging sheepishly.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Your (valid) argument seems to phase right through him and he ignores the question, simply raising a brow at you. You shake your head fondly, but answer anyway.

"I was on my way to take a bath. It's nicer at night, since there's less people up. More time, and quiet."

He hums in acknowledgment and keeps cooking, turning to you with a shy look on his face.

"Um...love?"

"Hm?"

You fold your arms in front of you on the counter and lean on your hands, looking at him curiously as you wait for him to continue.

He pauses, face red.

"Well...I was wondering if I...if I could ask you a question?"

You squint in amused confusion at his nervousness, eyes soft and fond as you nod. He thinks he might die.

"Yeah, shoot."

He clears his throat and looks at all the various bath products you brought with you before looking away, gesturing at the bottles.

"What do they...do?"

You snort when you realize that was really what he was so nervous over, shaking your head with a fond giggle.

"Wow, you are such a man sometimes."

Your eyes flit to the products before looking back up at him.

"Wanna be a little more specific?"

"Oh, right." He chuckles, looking embarrassed. "There's so...many?" He looks back at you, the confusion obvious on his face. "I mean...why do you need so many? Do they really all do different things? And-" He gestures to all the various products, brow raised. "Why so many different kinds of shampoo?"

Your giggles turn to full-blown laughter at his confusion, though it's not at his expense.

Okay, mostly not at his expense. Maybe a little bit.

"Oh, honey. You're cute sometimes, y'know that?"

You shake your head, rolling your eyes softly and looking at him. It's sweet, really, how embarrassed and curious he is. A very, very bad (very amusing) idea comes to your mind, and before you can think any better of it, you hear your own voice speaking.

"...want me to show you?"

He blinks almost sleepily, eyes wide.

"I- pardon?"

There's a thick silence as you watch the gears turn in his head, trying to work out if you really just said that and what the hell it means.

"What- what are you suggesting?"

You shrug, teasing smirk unfurling across your face as you sit up, cocking your head at him. It's not exactly like you can un-say what you just said, so you figure you might as well go for it. In for a penny, right?

"Exactly what I just said. You wanna know what they do, I'll show you."

You look down with coy, faux-innocence and sigh, giving him a chance to back out that you know he won't take.

"But, y'know...only if you want to."

The heavy-handed mock disappointment seems to jump start His mind again and his eyes flash with realization, a red flush starting up his neck.

"O- Oh....oh! Yeah, alright. I'd like that. Yeah. Yeah, that would be very- very, uh...helpful. Thanks."

He clears his throat, trying to sound less flustered.

It doesn't work.

You stifle a laugh at his reaction, shrugging and picking up your things. You start to walk down the hallway to the bathroom and for a few moments, he feels like he's frozen solid right where he is. You pause at the door, turning over your shoulder to look back at him teasingly.

"Well, c'mon then. Don't make me wait up."

He blinks and then he's moving towards you, feet carrying him forward before he even truly thinks about what he's doing. He follows you into the bathroom, and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears.

"Uh...okay, so, how do I- do I sit somewhere? Or...or watch? I- I don't know what's, uh..."

You shake your head with a fond giggle when he struggles to put a sentence together in his nervousness, but you decide to take pity and give him a bit more guidance.

"Alright, sit down."

You move him over to a bench and push him lightly down by the shoulder to sit back. He goes without resistance, letting you push him by two fingers and minimal pressure on his shoulder, closing the door and locking it behind you.

He sits down on the bench, blushing intensely. He doesn't know much about healthcare, but he thinks he might be having heart palpitations.

You hum to yourself quietly as you turn on the hot water, letting the bath fill while you busy yourself setting up the number of bottles and containers and miscellaneous items of yours on the edge of the tub. He shifts in his seat as you open one of the bottles and empty a bit into the bath, which immediately starts foaming as you turn to him with a teasing smile.

"I'm assuming you already know what bubble bath is?"

He nods, looking at the bath as it starts to foam, feeling like a teenager in a high school health class.

"Yeah, I know about that part." He nods slightly in relief- at least he knows something. "Just uh...never actually experienced it before."

"Never?"

Your brows furrow in surprise and confusion before you make a conscious effort to raise them, trying not to make your concern too obvious as something softens in your eyes for a moment. Sympathy, maybe.

"...well, we'll just have to do this for you sometime, then. Once you know what all of it is."

Your voice is gentler then, soft. You don't linger on the moment, looking away to stop the water once the bath is full and holding up a spherical object for him to see.

"This is a bath bomb. It's got stuff in it that makes the water turn pretty colors and smell nice and helps with your skin."

He nods, shifting again in his seat as you place the sphere into the bath. Though he's nervous, his eyes drag to every little detail, desperate to take it all in.

"Right." He mumbles, watching you throw the bath bomb into the water before his curiosity gets the better of him.

"Do you always make it this nice? With all the different...products and stuff?"

You shrug and clip your hair up messily, and he tries not to get distracted by how domestic this whole thing feels.

"When I have the time, yeah. It's...nice. A good way to relax."

You find the zipper of the dress you'd been wearing, a simple sun dress to keep you from melting in the sun or freezing from the sea breeze, fingers halting at the top as you look back at him.

"Last chance to back out, Sanji."

He swallows, eyes trailing down your body as you give him one last out. If he were more in his right mind, he'd think you were sweet for continually checking up on him.

Right now, he just thinks it's tedious.

"No, uh...no, I'm good. I am very much interested in this lesson." He clears his throat. "I would appreciate the, uh...the help."

You huff a fond laugh at his enthusiasm as his blushing gaze meets yours, shaking your head at him softly.

"Alright then."

You reach for the pull of the zipper again and slowly drag it down, slipping the dress off the taper of your shoulders, your waist, your hips. Your panties follow quickly after and your clothes all pool at your feet. You step out of them gingerly before stepping into the bath with a satisfied sigh, sinking slowly into the water with a satisfied hiss.

His eyes follow you the entire time, his heart beating at a rapid clip in his chest. He's seen other people nude before, he's had sex, but watching someone in the bath seems so...it's just...jesus. He's never done something this intimate. And yet, his eyes are glued to you.

He swallows nervously, hands starting to tremble a little bit.

For a moment he gets to see you completely bare, then the cloudy, colored water and the bubbles slowly cover you inch by inch. He can still see from your shoulders up where the water doesn't cover you. Your eyes flick back to him with a knowing smirk.

"You're staring."

It's a simple observation, though there's an undeniably teasing tone to your voice when you point it out. It isn't cold, though, or unwelcoming- the exact opposite, in fact. It's an amused little poke at his more perverted tendencies, but one that makes no judgement on him for it.

It sounds suspiciously like approval.

His mouth is almost agape, mind replaying the scene of every inch of you disappearing behind the clouds of bubbles and soap over and over again. It's like a scene from a romance novel.

(Despite the others' teasing, he's never actually read a romance novel. He assumes this is what they're like.)

He flushes and his eyes flick away from you, resolutely staring at the wall to your right.

"I- I didn't mean to, uh...I- I'm-"

"It's alright."

You quiet his stammering immediately, sending him a quick wink. Again, your tone sounds suspiciously of approval.

"I don't mind."

You sigh in contentedness at the warmth of the bath, taking a moment to just relax into the warmth before grabbing a cloth.

"So, you still want that lesson?"

He looks back at you, his blush red and steadily getting darker He nods slowly, blinking dizzily at the sight of you.

"Yes please."

He whispers, voice hoarse and cracking with equal parts nervousness and excitement. "Please and thank you." He adds softly, biting his lips and nodding again, eyes wide.

You giggle at his obvious excitement, leaning over the edge of the tub to grab a cloth and looking at him coyly with the knowledge that it would give him a teasing glimpse of your chest.

"Right, well- this is an exfoliating towel."

You lift it up to show him on the word "this" as if to emphasize your words before dunking the rough cloth gently underwater to wet it, attempting to explain in terms he can understand- his cooking utensils.

"It's like...polishing a knife. You start with a rougher grit and work your way down."

His eyes widen at the teasing glimpse of your chest as you dunk the towel in. He's embarrassed to find himself a bit breathless, his mind definitely not in the proper place right now.

"Ah..." He nods in understanding, trying to calm his flustered nerves and look away from your body. "So, you'd use this...after you were in the bubble bath, I guess?"

"During."

You correct lightly, beginning to scrub your skin with the wet cloth. To Sanji, it's nothing but a massive tease- first scrubbing each of your arms, then across your shoulders, neck, collar-bones. Each second seems to stretch into hours and he seriously starts to doubt his sanity.

To his disappointment, you scrub down your chest, stomach, hips below the water where he can't see much other than the occasional flash of color from the hot pink cloth.

"It makes your skin smooth, makes it easier to shave, clears off gunk and dead skin. Keeps me..."

But then, you lift your leg out of the water and point it. His mind short-circuits completely as you give him far too good of a view, meticulously scrubbing down one leg before putting it back underwater and repeating the process with the other. Legs, legs - he's heard he has nice ones before and he's never quite understood it but this, you, now - he thinks he could die happy between yours.

You notice, of course, the way his eyes magnetize to your skin. Once finished, you continue the words you'd trailed off on, voice soft and teasing as you wink at him.

"...y'know, soft to the touch."

His eyes follow you, watching you scrub and reveal each body part with a slight flutter in his chest. He swallows, unable to move, his eyes glued to you. Said eyes go wide when you reveal your legs, your bare thighs something he never thought he'd get to see. He swallows, trying not to make it obvious he's staring.

"Yes, I, uh...I believe I understand. It helps make things...soft." He chuckles nervously, trying to play down how obviously flustered he is.

You put down the cloth once you're finished scrubbing down your whole body, thoroughly entertained by his nervousness. You pick up a small jar next, holding it up briefly to show it to him before opening it and gently scooping out a bit of thick paste and rubbing it onto your legs, again giving him a downright sinful view.

"Y'know how I mentioned working your way down to a lower grit? Well, this is that. It's a sugar scrub, pretty much the same purpose. Moisturizes and exfoliates to keep my skin soft."

He watches each moment of you scrubbing, and each bit you reveal of your body. He's got no clue where to look, if he's allowed to look. Even seeing your legs...oh god.

He must be allowed to look, right? Surely he must.

He bites his lip and nods, fingers nervously tapping on his knee as he tries to focus back on anything else, looking away in an attempt to look more respectful than he's feeling at the moment.

"That's, uh...that's a lot of work to put into your skin just for softness."

"Well, you should see how soft it is."

You shoot back with a wink, using another dollop of the paste to exfoliate your upper chest and shoulders.

He notices that you use it on fewer, more specific areas- which he supposes makes sense, since it's a much more finite resource than the cloth. The observation seems much more meaningful to a mind trying to focus on anything other than your body.

Not that it's easy.

Nothing about this is easy.

"Do you just...do this a lot? With your skin, I mean." He asks nervously, eyes wide in wonder that someone would put this much effort into something so baseline...or that someone like you would feel the need to do anything to your angelic appearance.

He clears his throat.

"Y'know...not that you should have to. You look beautiful either way."

"Not always. Or- not fully to this extent."

You smile softly with a shrug, steam swirling in the air around you. All of it seems so effortless. He can't seem to catch his breath. After scrubbing the mixture into your skin for a few moments, you rinse it off with the bath water, expression zen and almost bored like you haven't completely altered the rest of his natural life.

"This is usually what I do when I want to feel...extra nice. When I've got a date, or something else I want to look nice for."

You explain, rinsing yourself off thoroughly before picking up your razor, starting to shave your legs while you talk to him, teasing lightly-

"I take it I don't have to explain shaving to you?"

He blushes a little harder, his eyes going to your legs as you shave them. Oh god, this is making him so nervous. His body is buzzing with anticipation and nerves and...other things.

"Uh...well, no, I uh...I know how to shave. But I guess I'm- I've never been this close to a woman while she shaves, I suppose." He gulps, his words getting softer the further he talks, like he might run out of air. He bites his lip. "But I think I get the idea."

You hum in equal parts acknowledgment and amusement, finishing up shaving in comfortable silence- arms, under arms, legs. The process goes relatively quickly before you set the razor back down, picking up another bottle and a plush looking ball of tight-nit net fabric.

"This is a lufa. And the bottle is body wash."

You keep your explanations simple so as not to confuse him too much. You know he'll be having a tough time focusing on your words as is, especially considering that he has precisely 0 experience with this sort of thing, and you don't want to overwhelm the poor thing.

You hold up the ball for him to see for a moment before uncapping the bottle, pouring a bit of the soapy liquid onto the fabric and rubbing it across your skin. You trace along your neck, chest, shoulders, the sponge-like ball of fabric leaving trails of fluffy bubbles in its path. The sight only makes it harder for him to cope, the bubbles not leaving much of anything to the imagination.

Still, it only adds to the romance-novel story-book scene in his mind, leaving his thoughts alarmingly warm and fuzzy.

He blushes and sighs, eyes glued the entire time. His body is humming with anticipation, his mind is getting hazy. He doesn't know how to handle this, how to handle you- the way you look right now, the way you talk, the person you are. His chest is fluttering, and he's blushing up a storm. Oh god, you look so nice.

"What's that do?"

His voice is hoarse and breathless, the words barely escaping his lips.

"It's a bit like soap, but more...I don't know, luxurious feeling."

You close your eyes in contentedness and move the lufa across your body, much more thorough with this than anything else. As far as he can see, there's not a single spot you don't reach, leaving fluffy trails of bubbles that slowly dissolve when they sink back underwater.

"The lufa is also kinda an exfoliant, but a much more gentle one."

He watches every moment of it with complete fascination, not sure where to look with the lufa in front of you. It's basically impossible not to look at your curves and your body at this point. You're stunningly beautiful in this moment, and he's so close to you he can see her every little detail. His eyes can't move away, and he swallows, nodding.

"I...oh. It looks like it feels nice." He chuckles in his nervousness. "And, uh...it probably smells nice too, I'm guessing..?"

"It certainly does both of those things."

You confirm with a soft, gentle laugh, amused and teasing yes, but more fond and...almost intimate than before.

"I mean, there's not much point taking a bath if you don't come out smelling like a cupcake."

You joke lightly, holding the lufa underwater to let the bubbles fizzle out and then wringing it out and setting it aside to let it dry.

His eyes follow the motions of you wringing out the lufa and he watches your body intently. He's staring at you a little too much, he knows. He can almost see...everything. His breath is coming a little heavy, and he finds his mind is getting more and more hazy as you go.

"A cupcake...?" He swallows, his voice almost cracking. "That's an oddly specific smell. Like... like, vanilla?"

"It's just a figure of speech. Smelling like anything sweet, really. Vanilla, chocolate, fruit, flowers."

You wave a dismissive hand with a giggle, talking to him absentmindedly as you let your hair down from where you had it clipped up and out of the way, shaking it out once you let it down. Slowly, you slide down in the bath until your hair is wet, wiping the wet strands from your face.

"This one is vanilla, though."

You tease with a wink, holding up a bottle of shampoo before opening the lid and pouring a bit into your hand. It only takes you a moment of lathering it before it suds and you can start working the bubbles into your hair.

Sanji, meanwhile, is having a bit of a crisis.

He swallows, feeling his body go a little limp at the sight of you in the bathtub, wet strands of hair hanging over your face. His eyes are glued to you again, and he's getting...so distracted.

He manages to speak, though his words are slow and not quite as coherent as before.

"I- you look...so pretty. Your hair looks great like that." He mumbles quietly, voice hoarse and breathy.

"It's a cleansing shampoo. Probably close to the kind you and the boys use."

You huff a soft laugh at his mumbled praise, shaking your head fondly. He's always been sweet, but there's something particularly cute about him when he's flustered like this.

"That just means it's harsher. Better for getting everything off, since being a pirate isn't exactly the cleanest job. It isn't great for your hair, though."

You explain in a soft hum, leaning your head back again to rinse your hair off gently, running your fingers through it. And trying to shake the thoughts of the boys' 5-in-1 shampoo from your head.

You look like an angel, or a mermaid. He can't decide which.

He smiles, his eyes glancing over your body every once in a while, though mostly he finds himself focused on your face and your hair in particular. Your expression is so...so...ugh. You look like a goddess, hair dripping with water and skin wet from the bath.

"So, you...you want your hair to look nice then. Not just clean."

You nod your head and hum in confirmation, uncapping a different bottle with a smile and pouring some of the liquid inside into your hand.

"That's what this shampoo is for. Still cleans, but it's not as harsh or stripping as the other one."

"So it's not as good as getting all of the pirate grime out of your hair, but it keeps your hair soft, shiny, healthy. All that good stuff."

You lather the new liquid in your hair, massaging it into your scalp with a soft, contented sigh at the relaxing feeling as it quickly turns to white suds.

He swallows, his eyes locked onto you and your hair, watching it shimmer and gleam with the water and product soaking through it. God, you're so...your hair shines like glass, and he can't stop staring at it.

"Uh, do you...d'you want help with that?" He asks quickly, his breath catching in his throat. "I mean-" He mumbles, cutting himself off sheepishly. "Do you need any help?"

Your eyes widen slightly at his enthusiasm, an amused smile quickly growing on your face. You look off to the middle distance for a moment with a dramatic sigh in mock consideration before looking back at him, quirking a finger forward in permission.

"Well, go on then."

He swallows and then nods eagerly, leaning forward slowly. He leans close, his cheeks blushing a little bit as the scent of your hair tickles his nose. He reaches out gingerly, like he's not sure if he's allowed, before rubbing the shampoo into your hair.

His lungs stop working.

Really, his breath just hitches in his throat again, only a second as he blinks once. But he's convinced his body is giving out. Oh god, you want him to touch you. Oh, god, you're letting him touch you.

"Just..." He trails off quietly, his voice breaking a little breathily as he tilts your head back softly to give himself better access.

You practically purr at the touch when he massages the shampoo into your scalp, your neck, your hair, leaning into his touch as your eyes flutter shut with a sigh.

"You're good with your hands, aren't you?"

You observe softly, letting him continue to wash and rinse your hair. His passion for the task is palpable, though you could've guessed as much with the fixation he always had on your bath products, equal parts curious and perverted.

His blush deepens quickly, and his hands shake as his fingers brushing against you carefully.

"Uhm..." He chokes slightly, clearing his throat. "I- I guess I am. I like doing things with my hands." He swallows, words coming out a little hoarse. His fingers move back to your hair.

"I can tell."

You remark teasingly, voice soft as you shoot him a wink before closing your eyes again. Once the shampoo is all rinsed from your hair, you direct him softly, voice quiet in clear relaxation-

"Conditioner. Purple bottle by your hand."

He scrambles to uncap the bottle as soon as you speak, eager to have been given permission to continue, pouring a small amount into his hands before brushing his fingers through your hair.

"'s for making your hair smoother. Keeps it from breaking if you comb it too much."

You explain absentmindedly. This one is new- it doesn't fizz up in his hands or create bubbling foam in your hair, just absorbs into the strands, smooth and slick and shiny.

He rubs his hands together, spreading out the conditioner throughout your hair, working it to its core. His breathing is a little shaky as his fingers glide through your hair, but he does his best not to show it. His eyes are still focused on you, and his heart is beating too fast.

He swallows, the scent of your conditioner filling his nose and his mind.

"How do you...find the time for all this? That's a lot of bottles, and a lot of work to just...make your hair nice."

"It's worth it. It's...relaxing. Like meditation. Or cooking something familiar."

You add on second thought, relating back to him to help him understand. When the conditioner is worked into your hair, you toss him a towel to dry his hands on once he's rinsed them off.

"Now go sit back down. Lesson's almost over."

You instruct softly, voice gentle and fond. He doesn't think before moving back to the bench and sitting back down, though his brows furrow endearingly in confusion. You just laugh lightly.

"Not every bath product is something you use in the actual bath."

He nods, expression confused, but he doesn't ask for elaboration. His eyes are still glued to your body, the sight of you in the bath still stunning. It's almost hypnotic to just sit back and watch. He clears his throat, looking around the bath curiously with a hint of confusion on his face.

"So...what's left?"

"...you'll see."

Is the eventual, cryptic answer he gets after a pause, you still smirking slightly. Then you- oh. Oh. You stand up, pulling the plug in the bath and letting the water drain as you step out to stand on the bath mat, completely bare and wet and dripping and oh, god- you grab a medium sized towel and lightly dry your hair until it's no longer dripping, still damp but not actively in your way, clipping it up again as you pat the rest of your body dry softly, humming to yourself as you work.

You scoff lightly at the question, shaking your head in fond amusement without looking up, still focused on drying yourself off.

"Wait, are you...are you not going to wear anything else? I mean...I'm not complaining, I like looking at you, but...aren't you cold?" He asks, still staring at you excitedly. Your hair is up again, and every inch of your body is on display. He's practically drooling.

Oh, god, this is a blessing.

'I'm gonna put on clothes eventually, Sanji. Like I told you, I'm not done yet."

Once you deem your level of dryness acceptable enough, you pick up another jar and open the lid, scooping out a bit of a much thicker cream.

"Moisturizer."

You answer before he even has the will to ask, eyes meeting his for a moment with a fond smirk as you rub the cream onto your body.

"Smells nice, and keeps your skin soft."

He stares at you as you rub the moisturizer on your body, his eyes going everywhere as you move. Every inch of your body is incredible, and he keeps finding new places to look.

He swallows, his expression a mix of admiration, shock, and excitement.

"Do... do you want any help with that?" He asks nervously.

It would be a lie to say he's asking for innocent reasons. Seeing your hands - small, soft, yours - massage the moisturizer into every inch of your body, your legs, thighs, hips, arms, stomach, neck- Jesus, your tits- his mind is on fire.

"Aww, are you offering? Sure, Sanji. You can help."

You answer, voice teasing like you know exactly what he's thinking, and- wait. That's- he actually- you gave him permission? You actually said yes? It takes him a moment to process the words, mind tripping over itself in surprise and oh fuck yes, Jesus Christ.

That's exactly what he's offering, and he doesn't have the mind to hide it. He nods eagerly, his expression telling you everything you need to know.

He scoots over closer, his hand reaching for the moisturizer and his eyes glued on your breasts now. They look so good. He applies the cream directly there, the touch of his hands on your soft skin causing him a burst of electricity as he touches you gently. Oh god, you're letting him... he's touching you! It's like his mind is exploding, and he's doing his best to contain himself.

He's definitely not going to let you do this alone, anyway. It's too much of a blessing, and his hands are trembling, even as he works them into your skin. He's trying to focus on keeping himself from getting too excited, but seeing you like this is too much to handle. He licks his lips nervously as his hands flit all over your body. His mind screams at him to do something, do more, but the years of chivalry drilled into him stay his hands.

You almost laugh when he immediately decides to start at your breasts, rolling your eyes fondly at the predictable move.

You aren't really surprised but then again, you still let him.

Soon enough the moisturizer has sunken into your skin and you press him back lightly by the chest, using those same fingers to tilt his chin up softly. You angle his head up at you, voice soft with a gentle smirk on your face.

"Thanks for the help, Sanji."

He swallows, looking up at you. His lips are parted and his breath is heavy. He blinks slowly. He's...he can't believe just how lucky he is.

"Of-of course. It was nice to...it was nice to help someone...someone so beautiful." He says, his voice breathless and his cheeks flushed a bright, bright red.

You huff a fond little laugh, mussing up his hair with your hand.

It takes a moment for him to grow aware of his surroundings again. Aware of anything. The tile is cool beneath his knees and - when did he get there? - the air is thick with steam but slowly thinning. The scent of you still lingers, or the scent of your myriad of products, he's not sure. And...those.

You're gone in a flurry as quickly as you came, a sleep shirt and a pair of panties thrown on before he can even process that you're moving, a teasing pat on the cheek and a repetition of "well, thanks anyway!" And then...you're gone.

Like a mirage or a daydream, the kind he never lets himself have in public (not that any of his effort has stopped him, really).

That's an entirely separate problem for him to tackle. He groans.

His budget can't handle frivolous expenses, but now he can't get the thought out of his head of wrapping his fist around himself with some of that fancy moisturizer that smells like you as lube and...shit, he's gonna have to buy a bottle, before he goes insane.

Ah, fuck, who is he kidding? He's never going to be able to do so much as take a bath without jerking off again.

#vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #opla sanji #opla sanji x reader #opla #opla x reader #sanji x you #opla Sanji x you #opla x you #one piece #one piece live action #one piece x reader #one piece x you #opla x y/n #opla sanji x y/n #sanji x y/n #opla sanji x you

[cerastes]

This is absolutely the Lack Of Reading Comprehension Website, but there's another issue I've noticed that I never see brought up, and it doesn't exist completely excised from lacking reading comprehension, but it's definitely it's own topic.

Tumblr's a Bad Faith Website as well. Like the above, it's not something exclusive to Tumblr, but it definitely defines it in my opinion. A lot of people want to be Right, and disagreements are seen by a bunch of people as something to "win" rather than something to "have". You'll have randos that frame their entire argument against you based on latching onto technicalities to try to prove why you are wrong rather than actually engage with your argument to try and propose something else or turn it around. As someone who was in a debate club during university, I call it "debate-poisoned people" who see arguments and conversations as a sport more than an interaction or, well, an actual conversation to be had, or in other words, that consider every argument as a debate to be had, when a lot of the time, it's not that deep fam, and also the other person never really agreed to play under your rules, because, here's the thing, a debate is a very specific kind of interaction. In a debate, bad faith interaction and trying to erase the very floor the other party is standing on is a valid tactic, it's part of the game. In a conversation or an argument, bad faith interaction and trying to erase the floor the other party is standing on gets you rightfully called a moron who cannot use inference or extrapolation to actually engage with the topic at hand. I had one such weirdo like a week or so ago, even, who used so many words to say absolutely nothing, that I thought I accidentally performed a digital necromantic ritual and had actually found myself face to face with the spirit of Jacques Lacan.

Even in more innocuous, non-hostile scenarios, this still applies: A lot of people are so, so eager to Be Correct On The Internet, that they'll reblog something with a correction or an opinion seemingly so hastily that they did not in fact read the entire post or comprehend it. This feeds into the lack of reading comprehension, but in my opinion, it does also have to do with seeing something that they believe they can correct, and immediately chomping at the bit to correct it without stopping for a second to ask themselves, "Did I read this right? Does this need correction?", and a lot of the time, it turns out, yes, you did not in fact need to correct it, you just had to read it a bit slower without letting your quickdraw hand get the best of you, cowboy. The way I consider this to be Bad Faith, even if it's not really hostile or confrontational, is the long-held belief that The Internet Is Inhabited By People Stupid Enough To Actually Think Or Say Something This Stupid.

I'll be real with you: Yeah, you've seen wild stories on the internet, plenty of them true, about how stupid people can be. No, they do not define the majority of people that aren't you. A wild, flabbergasting story about idiocy gets traction because it's funny and wild. We don't hear stories about how User A made a compelling argument that seemed stupid at first but then turned out that their rationale was incredibly sound as much, because that's not funny and wild and doesn't make us feel good about ourselves, because we'd never make such a stupid mistake. You aren't a sage wearing the floatie of wisdom in an ocean of idiots, no matter what your echo chamber and/or carefully curated internet space makes you think. You are not exempt from having to think about things, and you are not exempt from having to acknowledge people that know things you don't, people wiser than you are out there. This isn't "you are dumb as shit, actually", because I personally believe most people are smart, this is "you are being superficial and too eager to be Correct, which only works to your detriment in the long run and makes you a rather unlikable person".

It's as simple as engaging in good faith, even when you disagree or dislike the other party. Rip apart their arguments properly, instead of trying to disqualify them with cheap gotchas from the get go just because you want to own someone. Yes, sometimes people don't make sense, period, but that's absolutely not as common as people like to claim it happens. Inevitably, you'll run into someone that will actually call out your bullshit and there goes your entire argument. And in less intense settings, really, no one likes a pedant who really wants to be Correct on fucking Tumblr of all places.

[myslvtwritings]

Hello could you do uppermoons with a S/O who has anger issues?

ofc! thank you for the requesting:)

➤ Uppermoons reaction to a S/O who has anger issues

including; Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Sekido, Karaku, Aizetsu & Urogi

not proof read

Muzan Kibutsuji

• He believes the way you act is childish whenever you’re angry/upset.

• A little bit hypocritical of him considering he potentially has slight anger issues himself but after all he is a demon so he assumes it’s normal. Doesn’t really think much of it tbh.

• If you’re the type to have frequent outbursts/tantrums when you’re angry i feel like he would just ignore you until you’ve calmed down.

• Not the best at comfort. Affection isn’t his forte.

• Once you’ve calmed down a bit he’d return to comfort you in his own way.

• His way may not be as affectionate but it’s his way of showing you he cares.

• Muzan isn’t a softie (obviously) he’s very intimidating and downright the embodiment of evil so his way of showing affection is not ideal.

• But he cares though (more than you think)

• As your relationship progresses and you open up more about your own mental issues and needs and how you prefer to be cared for whenever you’re having an episode he’ll try to be more understanding!!

• Muzan still isn’t all that used to it but he tries just for you.

• Sometimes finds it amusing when the smallest little things piss you off though..

• He’ll chuckle under his breath at your little childish out bursts which only adds more fuel to the fire.

• Might bring you one of his victims so you can take your anger out on them because he assumes it’ll soothe down your nerves

• He’s never met someone like you and your emotions are pretty powerful. It makes him wonder how powerful you’ll be as a demon if he were to turn you into one. He prefers you as a human though because of the power imbalance.

• Fights may occur frequently between y’all due to you accidentally taking your anger out on him sometimes (god help your poor soul)

• Don’t worry! He won’t kill you.

• Usually he is very calm whenever you’re angry but if you just lash out and take everything out on him he’ll get pissed too.

• Whenever you two are some arguing you guys kind of just forget it ever happened and he just holds you in his arms or makes you sit on his lap to see if that helps you or not.

Kokushibo

• Kokushibo here sorta gives off this semi-calm vibe in my opinion? However, whenever he is angry it’s fucking terrifying.

• Whenever you’re upset he will sit you down so the two of you can discuss it.

• Like Muzan he will probably chuckle if you’re mad over something so tiny.

• However, unlike Muzan he isn’t toxic about it.

• He’s still a demon though so don’t expect it to be perfect.

• If you tell him what’ll make you feel better then he’ll do it in a heartbeat.

• You need a hug? okay! You don’t want to be touched? that’s fine too! he’ll give you the space you need until you’ve calmed down.

• I feel like he is the type to grab you firmly by the shoulders and tell you to calm the fuck down.

• Or maybe he’ll stare at you menacingly until your anger subsides..

• He’s the voice of reason whenever you’re upset over something ridiculous.

• If you’re mad for an entirely different reason (that’s valid in his eyes) is when he’s more caring and affectionate. (then again, in his own way)

• Kokushibo is quiet. He is not all that vocal unless he’s fighting demon slayers but whenever he isn’t on a mission he gives the “quiet kid” vibe.

• Koku embraces you and strokes your hair if you cry when you’re mad.

• If you’re the type to break things whenever you’re mad Kokushibo dislikes that sort of behavior. Isn’t a fan of extreme loud noises. He will get you to stop by manhandling you. Doesn’t usually raise his voice at his precious s/o no matter how mad they are.

Douma

• My fucking god.

• This little shit finds it cute

• Will tease you. (finds your anger issues entertaining)

• Human emotion is just so strange!!

• Fun fact: Douma actually feels emotions around you. However, it’s still somewhat foreign to him and he still has major difficulty understanding human emotions. (please be patient with even tho he is a menace)

• If you talk to him about it more he will surprisingly understand you. This surprises you because he doesn’t understand any of his followers half of the time. (You special frfr)

• Don’t expect the teasing to stop entirely though.

• He thinks mortals are so endearing when they spark with such intense emotions over the stupidest of reasons!

• It doesn’t matter how pissed off you are. This mf will only continue to think it’s adorable and tease you relentlessly which boils your blood to the maximum level..

• Blud DEADASS gets confused when you snap at him for it.

• “Ehh?? why are you mad at me?!” (He’ll whine about it)

• Douma is a complete menace. Knows exactly what he’s doing.

• Once he realizes “Maybe they don’t actually like it when i tease them..” he’ll tone it down a notch.

• Still somewhat teases you though. That isn’t going to go away permanently but he will tone it down only for your sake!

• Similar to Muzan, he will laugh at you when you get mad over something little/stupid.

• And like Kokushibo, also the type to manhandle you if you’re out of control. (Smiles the whole time while handling your feisty ass)

• However, he is still sweet so if you sit down and talk to him then he’ll do anything he can to make you feel better! After all, you’ve always been there for him so he must return the favor!

• Whenever you cry when you’re mad Douma forcibly pulls you onto his lap and peppers your face in kisses.

• If you’re going on a rant about something that made you angry he’ll definitely shut you up by kissing you if he grows bored/tired of listening to you.

• He is a slave for you so he’ll let you take your frustrations out on him (New kink unlocked)

• Always finds your emotions very intriguing. How can a human feel so much?

• If there was a certain someone who triggered your anger issues Douma will just eat them! He won’t let anyone hurt you<33

• Or he’ll maybe let you kill them to help you feel better.

Akaza

• Akaza is beyond caring and understanding of your anger issues!

• Akaza is very worried about you! Will want to communicate with you immediately about this.

• He listens to everything you have to say.

• Does get a little taken aback by your outburst though. you’re like a volcano.

• He’ll politely ask to hug you if you’re the type who wants to be touched when you’re angry to help calm you down!

• Offers to give you a massage as well.

• However, if you want space then he’ll gladly give you that as well!

• Will occasionally check up on you, asking you if you need anything.

• Whispers sweet nothings into your ear.

• If you want to break things when you get angry he will find objects for you to take your anger out on.

• If you’re a demon and you get heated he might find it hot when you’re mad. He’ll watch with pride as you fuck the shit up out of one of the demon slayers!

• I feel great pity if anyone caused you to get angry. This man will ANNIHILATE a village worth of people if they’ve hurt you in any way. (He’s super overprotective)

• Overall 10/10 boyfriend! will always be here for you and help you during your episodes:)

Sekido

• Oh boy. SAME BOAT, SAME BOAT.

• Like you, he too has a very short temper.

• Okay, i feel like he is definitely the most understanding out of EVERYONE.

• Sekido’s anger issues are SEVERE (just like yours)

• He honestly relates to you.

• Sekido is scary enough but the two of you combined? All hell will break loose.

• The other clones are terrified of you both 😭😭

• And if you’re a demon that’s a whole different story..

• You guys are a power duo and definitely go on killing sprees together whenever y’all’s anger is out of control.

• All though he’s the one who truly understands you he isn’t the type to communicate about it nor provide you with any ideal comfort.

• Sekido’s way of showing affection/comfort is just letting you stay mad until you’ve calmed down or just shit talking with you about whatever made you mad

• He will listen to you and understand. Bro will be mad FOR you in any situation that ticked you off 💀

• It makes HIM even more infuriated whenever someone pissed you off.

• Will kill them INSTANTLY for you and will not give a shit if you protest.

• Y’all scare the shit out of the other clones. (and each other)

• Have i not mentioned the both of you have the strong tendency to take y’all’s anger out on each other?

• It’s crazy.

• The sex is great though so it’s fine! (y’all have hate sex)

Karaku

• Like Douma, he’ll tease you relentlessly

• This mf prolly gets horny from seeing how ANGRY his s/o gets.

• He’s honestly surprised at first.. he thought you were innocent.

• Karaku has to deal with Sekido all the time so he isn’t scared of you.

• The only difference is that he finds you cute/hot when you’re mad.

• Bro will probably offer you head to make you feel better. He is the pleasure demon after all so he’ll do anything that’ll pleasure your angry little self!

• Steamy make-out sessions 😍‼️

• The type of mf to fuck the anger outta you probably (Or he’ll let you fuck him)

• He will also tease you and laugh at you though (He is a jerk like that)

• He teases you WAYY more than he does sekido

• He will baby you if you start to cry when you’re angry

• Now, do not be mistaken. Karaku DOES care but his way of providing comfort is rigged with his sadistic personality.

• You remind him a lot of Sekido just less intimidating because you’re his partner.

• Will hype you up if you destroy shit when you’re mad. He can just replace them anyway so it doesn’t matter

• “OH YEAH, FUCK THAT SHIT UPPPP!”

• Sometimes doesn’t understand when you only grow more angry with him when he hyped you up or when he teases you. Humans are so funny to him.

• if you were a demon he’d probs get even more turned on if you just slaughtered the hell out of the person who made you angry.

• Karaku will lend you his fan that he uses so you can destroy more things with it while you’re mad!

• Would love, love, LOVE to see you take down anything in existence with his fan.

• He isn’t the best communicator but he’ll hear you out whenever you’re venting.

• He doesn’t have anger issues so he won’t truly understand. But he’ll be there for you so that’s good, right?

• Still capable of sweetly comforting you! He will hug you and pepper your tear-stained face in kisses (Still picks on you though)

• With all that aside, Karaku messes with you still and that’ll never end. Unlike Douma he won’t ever stop teasing you nor level it down a bit despite your protests.

Aizetsu

• This pussy bitch is scared.

• Bro cries because of you

• He strongly dislikes yelling and overly violent behavior. (Is not too fond of loud noises basically)

• He is scared shitless of sekido. so when he founds out you get as angry, if not more angry than sekido himself Aizetsu is going to be petrified at first.

• Aizetsu may be a demon who devours people but out of all of the other clones he’s the most soft.

• He is usually calm, tends to give silent reactions but whenever you’re angry and yelling his mind is at war. He’s scared but also worried for his s/o at the same time.

• On the verge of a panic attack on the days/nights you’re mad.

• Will be scared if you have dramatic outbursts

• The one to watch you silently, on the verge of an anxiety attack as you flip the fuck out over whatever angered you.

• Aizetsu won’t judge you if you’re mad over something small. However, he will definitely be confused though. (Why are you angered by something so meaningless?)

• BUT!! despite your ballistic behavior and immature tantrums you’re still his beloved s/o! Aizestu will still do his all to ensure you’re protected and safe from harms way at ALL costs!!

• Aizetsu probably trembles whenever you scream a bit too loudly (It always surprises him because he never knows what’s going to set you off)

• When he first found out about your anger issues (Which was completely out of the blue because you’ve never told him before) Aizetsu is a tad bit disappointed you never told him prior.

• Eventually he will get used to it (sorta) and as he does he will feel guilty for not comforting you properly in the past.

• Aizetsu will let you lay your head on his lap as you vent/rant about what pissed you off.

• Aizetsu is still fiercely protective of his beloved s/o. Will unalive whoever upset you.

Urogi

• You and Urogi are the complete opposite

• He is positive and joyful while you’re negative and cunning.

• Whenever he witnesses you having an episode he will immediately bear hug you.

• Attacks you with kisses and laughs.

• Doesn’t really understand but he will listen to you!

• Like Karaku he will probably tease you only to immediately regret it because you won’t let that slide 💀

• Tries to ask sekido for help or the other clones. (Doesn’t get any)

• He’s not scared of you like Aizetsu because he deals with Sekido’s burning rage on a daily basis

• Urogi tries his hardest to keep his S/O in a positive mindset!

• Not the greatest at advice giving but (kind of) an excellent listener.

• He’s usually very hyperactive and talkative but whenever you need to vent/rant then he’s all ears and won’t interrupt you!

• Will wrap his wings around you in a protective manner if you want to be spooned by him.

• The type of man to take you out whenever you’re upset to get some fresh air.

• Probably will offer you sex to see if that’ll make you feel better 😭

• I feel like Urogi would be clingy so if you ask him for space it’ll be hard for him because he just wants to make sure you’re okay!

• Sometimes he finds it attractive when you’re angry

• a/n: I don’t know what else to put here (LMAO)

that’s about all! i hope you enjoyed reading<3

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #kny demons #upper moons #upper moons x reader #demon slayer headcanons #kny headcanons #muzan x reader #kokushibo x reader #douma x reader #akaza x reader #hantengu clones x reader #muzan headcanons #kokushibo headcanons #douma headcanons #akaza headcanons #hantengu clones headcanons #x reader #demon slayer anime #demon slayer manga #demon slayer demons #kimetsu no yaiba anime #kimestsu no yaiba manga #uppermoon headcanons

[rosie-writings]

Collapse Into Me

Request: anon— A honeymoon fic of Colby bringing his wife to Wales like he mentioned on Snapchat during their Europe trip

Summary: Wedding planning polarized you and your family, but it made you realize that Colby’s family is the one you were meant to be in.

Warnings: Colby x Reader smut, Dom/Sub dynamic, Bondage, Overstimulation, Unprotected Sex, and all the warm fluffy feelings

Words: 9k

No Y/N Used

Title is from ‘Telomeres’ by Sleep Token

My hands were shaking, trembling to the bone, and I couldn’t tell if it was due to the cold in the air or that shrill in her voice.

“And so you think it’s a good idea, now?” My eyebrows pushed together at the sight of hers raising. “Of all times, now?”

”I mean, technically not-not now. In February.”

”February?” I didn’t think her voice reached that pitch, but of course it was me who could draw it out of her. “You’re giving yourself four months to plan a wedding? You’re so stupid.”

”Tell me why I’m stupid about this. You haven’t given me a valid reason; you’ve given me ridiculous reasons for why you think I’m stupid about other things, but not this.”

”Because,” she sighed with a twinge in her voice. My eyes grazed the stringy amber brown streaked blonde directionless curls at the end of her wavy hair. The last three inches of them should have been cut off months ago. “You of all people should know that it’s dumb behavior to have a ring on your finger three months into even entertaining the idea of being-of being stuck to someone.” My eyes fell flat.

I never liked the fact that I was five inches shorter than my cousin, but at this moment, I realized that she swung her height clunkily with those heels that used to be in my bedroom. My mom left them on my bed for me when she accidentally bought two sizes too big for herself. Of course I left them in my cousin’s car accidentally on purpose because why would a clan of near-six-foot-tall women leave a size ten shoe for the one who barely hit five foot four. 

“Okay,” my voice shook. “That kind of hurt actually.”

”Yeah; truth hurts. That’s how you know that this is the truth.” If that was the case, I could hurt her a lot right now. I would start with the fact that her eye color never really matched her beloved blue mascara, but that was neither here nor there.

”Well… I’d rather be stuck to him for the rest of my life than you guys.” I looked away and shoved down the burning in my throat. I continued the blame before she could gasp her pitiful response. “I mean, it’s true for you I suppose.”

”It’s true for anyone!”

”You-You hardly know what I want.” The scoff of her thick lips made mine push in a tight line.

”I’ve seen you under the sun enough to know that you’ve daydreamed about your honeymoon being at the beach.” Or maybe I simply day dreamed about a summer vacation without your squeaky voice cutting through the soothing sound of waves—

“I mean, you’re probably just projecting,” I sighed. “At least your skin keeps a tan. It’s just too much work for me to prioritize staying dark.”

“Yeah I know,” she said and I bit my tongue to conceal the roll of my eyes as if my eyes and tongue were connected. “Maybe I should just convince your mom to talk sense into you.”

”I mean, I’ve told her already and you’re the only one who’s given me this amount of shit about it.” Her eyes widened; they yielded a confrontation I wasn’t ready for. 

“Hm,” she sighed. Her eyes scanned me and it felt nice for her to be speechless if even for a second. “Well I still don’t like it.”

”And not everything’s about you.” This time her eyes rolled.

“Where are you even getting married? He has enough money to take you wherever you want and have it done.”

”Pf,” I scoffed because my stomach turned at the sound of her already expecting something from him. “Perhaps, but you damn well know I have enough money to bring all of us anywhere I want to go.” Her eyebrow rose. Only one of them.

”So you’re telling me he’s making you pay?”

”I don’t remember your opinion mattering when it comes to issues between a husband and wife, but go off I guess.” She audibly gasped.

”I’m telling your mom you said that.”

”Do it,” I challenged without blinking. She rolled her eyes. Her stupid car keys flicked over her hand. No one ever told her that the weight of all the senseless chains between far and few keys on the ring could ruin her ignition. She probably pumped her own gas once.

”I will.” She spun on her heel and walked over the edge of the curb. Her hand settled on the handle of that pristine Audi she bought last autumn. Well, she didn’t buy it; follow the money up the chain and it would come from YouTube into my bank account. “Also, I could never see you getting married in the dead of winter. You’d blend in with the snow and dead trees.”

I rolled my eyes because she didn’t know that it made me cry at night when my skin reddened from the unrelenting summer sun.

It didn’t even snow in Southern California.

”Hey,” he said, and the door of the car hardly opened all the way when the sweet sound hit my ears. Despite the tension in my throat, I stifled a wide smile.

”Hi,” I said as I sat down and closed the door. A flick of a millisecond long expression from him told me that I held my breath for too long when I said my greeting. 

“I’m guessing it went…”

”Yeah no,” I sighed as I released the tension in my throat. My fingers etched into the thick leather of his car. His hand found my thigh. My eyes still peeled out the window. “She’s an idiot. They all are.” He was quiet for a moment. Before a smile broke. God, I couldn’t look away from him even if I only drowned on half of his appearance. His eyes were on the road. 

“Sorry, but I anticipated that.” I shook my head.

It was September, and Colby and I got engaged almost a month ago. I waited to tell any of my family until now so that we could breathe and be excited by taking a break at work and partying with friends more than necessary. I knew that it would put yet another ringer between my women dominated family who each had expectations much higher than I did.

Well, my expectation of the actual person I was going to marry clearly was higher than theirs. Their primary focus was the wedding and who their bridesmaids were going to be and where the bachelorette parties would be and where the honeymoon—

Jesus Christ.

Maybe I was the second out of eleven of us getting married—I had three sisters and four first and three second cousins; all of us girls—because I wanted to get it over with. Maybe it sounded sad, and I kind of was, but this sadness was rooted in the stigma they inadvertently forced in me when I was young. I knew I didn’t meet their expectations when it came to the kind of dresses I liked.

Don’t get me wrong; I was no less materialistic than they were. I just liked making my own money and giving myself clothes and dresses devoid of color when I wanted to, unlike the ones their mothers and fathers threw at them in between whiny complaints. They dressed me up one time when I was sixteen; that was when the oldest was married at 25. I wasn’t a bridesmaid because there were too many of us, especially when combined with her two best friends. 

And I wasn’t the flower girl either because I wasn’t the youngest. But if she had asked me to be the flower girl, I would have dressed in a floor length black dress out of spite towards the embarrassment. 

The first time I would be in a wedding would be my own, and I was thoroughly happy about it.

I liked the way—that when Colby’s fingertips dragged up my leg to find my hand, and once found—his own rings clashed with the one he gave me. I also liked the fact that the first ring I ever accepted from someone was his, and also the fact that the first ring to be placed on his ring finger would be the one I would get him. Despite the dozens of rings that adorned his fingers at every second of the day, I knew he deliberately made vacant his ring finger, even if he never explicitly mentioned it. I noticed.

So now we were on the way back to his house. I suspected Sam was back from his morning responsibility and as were other friends considering the amount of food in the backseat. Colby must have picked it up right as he picked me up from the cafe I met my sisters at that morning.

We talked about the engagement at first, and I was smart enough to tell them in public so they couldn’t make too large of a scene. It was my sister who was the happiest. She was two years older than me; the oldest of us four. Two of the three cousins who decided to spend their time on me had to warm to the idea. It was my second oldest sister and the third cousin who stayed later after everyone else left to chew me out about it. 

I was saved by God herself when my sister said she was going to be late for work and left. My cousin didn’t get the memo and didn’t leave in her car until Colby’s had been sitting on the side of the road, since all the parking spaces were taken, for a solid minute. 

It felt like I could breathe everytime I stepped foot in their house. 

Once everything was settled, anyway.

Colby told me the night we were engaged, after the party and after we had been alone for two hours, that he would have proposed to me in the spring, but it took all those months to convince Sam that it was a good idea.

”I never expected you to be the one to convince Sam that marriage could be good; I thought it would be the other way around,” I told Colby when my thumb still twisted the engagement ring on my finger. He laughed.

”I don’t think it would have mattered who was getting married between us; the other one was bound to take months to come to terms with it.”

And I knew it had nothing to do with me. I love their friendship wholeheartedly; I had no complaints about it at all. 

“I really don’t hold any of that-that mess against you, you know?” I shook my head in faux annoyance.

”You don’t have to tell me that everytime I had a standoff with them about you,” I snapped. “I know you don’t. If you did, I wouldn’t be here.” 

“That’s a little much—“

”I mean, even though I fucking hate them sometimes—most of the time—I still couldn’t marry someone who seriously hates them. That’s for me and me only.”

”You take the brunt of them too much.”

”Yeah well,” I sighed as we got to the house, and thanked God for it. “Someone has to and at least I have the patience to not tear their family apart unlike our mothers.” He smiled, and I knew it had nothing to do with what I meant.

Their family, as in, I was already founded by another.

Wedding planning was nice when I was secluded with my friends and when I was with Colby; the anxiety of being without the rest of my family was forgotten. I knew I was different from them, but I didn’t realize how much I was until my own wedding planning turned into a mirror. I also couldn’t stop thinking about my oldest cousin’s wedding; maybe it was a blessing more than a curse that I didn’t have to wear one of those coral bridesmaid dresses that looked stuck in a 2015 Instagram feed.

I really didn’t look good in coral. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t chosen. Or maybe it was the fact that if I chose a dress that would cover my tattoos, it wouldn’t match her aesthetic.

It didn’t matter to me. None of them would be in my wedding.

I take that back; one would, and that was the one who cried when I FaceTimed her two weeks ago. Colby, even, invited her to a party of recent to which she declined but was thankful still for including her. She was a month younger than me. I threatened her to not tell the rest of our family. The fact that I told her was enough; I knew she wouldn’t. 

Maybe there was a certain decibel of venom on my tongue when I talked about my family to the boys, but I was too lethargic to say it to their faces. My family would expect yelling, arguing, and receipts, and at this point, I simply didn’t care enough.

I decided to save the energy for the week the world learned about who was in my ring of bridesmaids. 

“Good thing you only have a few months left of it,” Colby said a bit too happily. I smiled as we grabbed the food and walked into their full house. 

And a few months it was.

I dizzied at the sight of the makeup on my face. To be completely transparent, I tried this look on myself before and I thought I looked decent until a professional artist, obviously, made my version of the look more similar to a newborn digging through its mother’s makeup bag. Two days. Just two more days and it would be over. It guilted me that that was how I felt about wedding planning, but I just wanted to be alone. 

Alone with Colby; how was that different than being alone at this point?

Somehow, the weather caved as if it knew and obeyed the spite in my heart. Thick winterous clouds rolled in last night, and I couldn’t help but smile at them. No longer did I imagine a piercing blue sky over us in our wedding photos. I didn’t fully understand why it made me ecstatic to know that the weather would traditionally be not ideal for a wedding.

Maybe it was the fact that the earth gave me what I wanted.

My mother, three cousins, and one sister complained about how gross it was outside and how they wished the sky would clear up. I silently prayed it wouldn’t. I could have sworn the clouds turned grayer. I knew I wouldn’t get snow in Los Angeles, but my family was right about the fact that I wouldn’t have been able to handle the chill.

And I thought that fluke cool front in September was cold.

“What do you think?” I asked as my best friend walked in the room upon the makeup artist’s request.

”Stop,” she gasped and she smiled ear to ear until the burning I ever so hated coiled in my throat. “I fear I’m going to have to be a bitch to you tomorrow so that we won’t get all sentimental and cry it all off.”

”Good,” I snorted. “Because if I cry I’m punching you in the throat.” I held the mirror and looked at myself. It was the first time I wore makeup that mended with my skin tone. It didn’t look like I stole mud from the earth and rubbed in on my cool skin. I looked more alive and healthy than I did when my sister did my make up, and my heart sped at the idea that each of them would scowl at the eyeliner that might have been a millimeter thicker than the average wedding liner. I don’t know what it was; I didn’t do things out of spite all the time.

It simply looked like spite when I did things for myself.

I saved putting my dress on for tomorrow.

But when tomorrow came, my best friend tied it up for me. Or zipped it. Both, actually. 

The photographer snapped our intimate moments in the women’s getting ready room. My two other friends, my sister, and Colby’s sister including our moms who stopped by for no more than ten minutes accompanied. The silence was a blessing even though we were the furthest from actually staying quiet. I didn’t think I liked other human voices until I met my closest friends.

It ended before I convinced myself it started.

My stomach was in knots until I saw Colby that day, and then I remembered the rest. I blacked out when I was with him, always, and could only remember the things we kept between us. The rest of it didn’t matter. The morning mattered, but the nerves gnawed at them, and when we were together, who cared about the cousin gossiping rows away?

I heard his footsteps before his voice. He took his time, and I didn’t move.

I stood in the room that my bridesmaids and I readied ourselves in nearly an hour ago. 

My lips still buzzed from the feeling of his. We kissed far too many times to count, but it felt like this one counted more than the rest. 

He took more steps towards me.

I noticed my breath as my eyes still peeled out the window. The heavy winter clouds still hung low, and the trees around the venue were almost colorless aside from the nearly black bark that hung on through the stress of winter. The decorations took the place of snow, and I appreciated my best friend’s idea of having black and white be the colors for our wedding, because I couldn’t look away. The red roses displaced here and there warmed the ornate black iron chairs facing the altar, and I imagined what the semi outdoor and indoor reception space appeared like now that people and music filled it. 

He didn’t say anything by the time he stood behind me. His hands found my waist. I still didn’t move.

I knew he came to find me, primarily, but also prepared me for entering the reception hand in hand. I assumed all that was forgotten when he found me here, alone. I didn’t intend on being alone. After photos, my bridesmaids and I came up here to freshen up and they then went off to arrange our entrance. Colby did the same with his groomsmen.

“Fuck off; go find your wife we have business to attend to,” I read Sam’s lips. Colby laughed and didn’t question when a handful of them raced by with cans and markers in their hands. I watched them down below on the porch; butterflies filled me when Colby walked in the front door.

A breath dragged quickly between my teeth when Colby left a trail of slow kisses from my neck to my shoulder. The white lace of my sleeves hardly clung on my shoulder giving him much room. He didn’t take advantage of it for the sake of photos, but I knew he wanted to. I leaned back into his touch, but didn’t take my eyes off the window. 

The ceremony space was fully empty now; the last few guests made it to the reception space.

“As much as I’m contemplating taking you here and fucking you on every surface of this room, I’m not sure you would appreciate me messing up your makeup before we go to the reception.”

My face burned, oh it burned, I didn’t look at him or else his pestering smile would make it worse.

”Bring me downstairs then,” I laughed and turned to him finally. I hardly looked at him before his lips were on mine. My arms wrapped around his neck, ever pulling him tighter. I breathed him in as he tasted me.

Maybe my wine red lipstick was transfer proofed on purpose, but a tiny part of me wished it wasn’t because his new ring wouldn’t be the only symbol of claim on him.

”Come on,” he said, and his hand slipped in mine. 

I tasted him through the reception.

Through pictures, dances, cake, and conversations; I didn’t think a mouth could be so memorable.

”What?” I gasped when I butted in the boys’ conversation at the end. Sam looked at me with wide drunken eyes that buzzed from the thrill of the night.

”Uh—We were reminding Colby to just chill out and take a breath before seeing his car and probably have it washed before you do anything else or else he’d have to get a new paint job tomorrow.”

”Jesus Christ,” Colby laughed. 

And after we left the venue, we did just that. I didn’t know that shaving cream could eat away at car paint but there we were.

My ears rang after the car doors were shut, and my breathing caught in my chest.

We were alone. 

We had been alone and spent many nights sleepless and breathless, but none of them amounted to that night, that moment. I couldn’t pinpoint why, I just knew.

He didn’t say anything in the minutes it took to reach the freeway. My palm burned against his. His fingertips raced up my palm and invaded the lace that started at my wrist. Chills electrified up my arm from where his fingertips touched, and I didn’t move away from them. 

My head spun with every step, and before I knew it, we walked into the hotel suite booked if only for a handful of hours. Until our flight. I walked in, my breathing definitely not under control, and he haphazardly set our bags down. I felt his eyes on me, and before I could turn around, I heard his quick steps. I broke into a smile when his hands reached me, and he spun me around harshly for himself.

His hand held my face, and no longer was his touch filled with care for my appearance. No, it was filled with a vengeance to touch, to please, to get near. He licked into my mouth and I gave and gave, his hands didn’t leave any part of my body untouched, even as we stood there.

And then he fell to his knees.

My breath left me as he looked up darkly from where he descended. As I drew a breath to ask what he was doing, hands slowly snaked up my legs. 

“Colby,” I hummed his name. There wasn’t much of a skirt to my dress; it was more a-line than anything, but the thin layers of fabric were soft, durable. My skin crawled at the sound of it brushing against the sleeve of his thick jacket. He still hadn’t changed a thing about his appearance since the ceremony. Maybe his jacket came off at some point while dancing, but we could see our breaths in the air outside.

”Oh—“ I couldn’t contain my hums, moans, and noises as his fingertips trailed up my skin, and when he dove under my dress and used his mouth on me instead, I saw stars.

I couldn’t remember another word other than his name. I felt it too; the hum of his own moans against my thighs. What on earth took him so long? I was torn in two. A part of me needed to feel every part of him now, but the other wanted to stay here forever and let him touch and kiss every cell of my body.

The muscles in my stomach tensed the moment his fingers grabbed the top of one of the garters around my thigh and he snapped it back. My hand reflexively pushed his head and he laughed. I thought he would take it off, but no. His retaliation was shoving me by the hips to sit on the edge of the bed behind me. 

Instead, his lips and tongue dove right where I ached for him.

With a gasp, I tried to handle what I felt, but I couldn’t. He didn’t even move to take off the lace that was probably ruined with my arousal and had been for hours now. Then a few fingertips dipped behind the side of it and I preened at the feeling of his cool fingerprints in my unbearable heat.

“Colby—“ I gasped yet again, but he didn’t wait up. Two fingers dove into me. He knew how ready I was; he probably knew from the look in my eyes alone. Then he whispered something against me that I couldn’t make out. He shoved the lingerie out of his way, and I gasped at the tough stretch of the lace in my inner hip. His tongue was on me, his mouth worked me and sucked me sweetly as his fingers slowly moved in and out.

My head hit the bed as I gave up any power I had. 

Then he gasped and breathed heavily as he pushed my skirt up higher. It pooled across my hips, and I rose to my elbows so I could finally see his pretty face. It was flushed, and his eyes were dark and hazy.

Those hands grabbed my thighs, and the pressure fueled my lust must have left bruises in their wake. I yelled his name as he dove back down into me, and I finally was able to string my fingers through his messy hair. 

I chanted his name like a prayer and I felt moans and words in between my legs again. No part of me could find the mess he made of his mouth, my heat, repulsive in any way even though I know I would scrub us clean in a handful of time.

”Oh my god, I’ll come already,” I gasped. Of course this fueled his movements. My voice broke into higher whines, and he didn’t complain if I yanked on the roots of his hair too tightly.

He licked me through my orgasm even as I shook through violent aftershocks. 

He shot to his feet.

”Please—“ I gasped. His eyes didn’t come off mine as he unbuckled his belt. I did, though, I took my eyes off his eyes, and I launched forward. Even though it may have taken more time than if he did it, he allowed my excitement to fumble with the button and zipper of his pants. I felt his gaze on top of me, and his hand stroked in alignment with the currents of my hair. It was pinned behind me loosely where rivers of strands wound elegantly.

My heart raced at the feeling of his rough, and respectfully gentle hand warmly brushing and leading me without messing up my hair. I wanted him to, though. God, I wanted him to ruin my hair.

Ruin my makeup. 

I pulled him from his pants, and a river of uneven breaths flowed from him. He hummed my name when I took him in my mouth.

”Just-Just want inside you,” he whispered. I ignored him and laced my gaze with his as I went down on him over and over. His eyes rolled back and my body surged deeper around him when pleasure overcame him. I might have gone faster, might have gotten ahead of myself— “Alright, alright,” he gasped. He grabbed himself and pulled me by the hair. I gasped when I came off of him.

He shoved me down to the bed. 

I looked up at him, and he didn’t move us. He didn’t take another article of clothing off us.

I couldn’t speak, and from the look in his eyes, he clearly couldn’t either. His heart raced; I could tell by the way his breath escaped him in and out unevenly. He shoved my lingerie to the side again.

Like every time his body mended with mine, he filled me to the brim. 

“Love you—“ He gasped so lowly I hardly heard him. “Mine, you’re all mine.”

”And you’re mine,” I whined when he thrusted harshly. We didn’t leave room for teasing. He didn’t want to waste another second—not that any of the many seconds of the day were wasted—but what else was each glance we sent each other on this day other than teasing, foreplay.

God, I undressed him with my eyes dozens of times today alone.

His hands raced down my legs, pushed them back and spread them further apart. Eyes tore me to shreds. His face strained with pleasure, and I had to hold onto the duvet tightly since I couldn’t read what I wished to.

”God—fucking—in the way—“ He cut himself off with a tear.

He didn’t want to take off any of my clothes, no, he wanted to savor the sight of this day on my skin, so he tore the side lace of the lingerie slightly so that he didn’t catch on the tightness of it. I gasped some tension released, and he was able to find better leverage.

”I love you, I love you—holy shit—you’re mine.” This time he leaned forward with one of my legs hooked over his arm.

”I’m yours,” I repeated.

”I’m going to cum in you and you’re going to stay filled with it until the morning,” he said. I thought his hand wrapped around my throat, but that was just my visceral reaction. 

“Colby,” I gasped his name breathlessly. “Need you in me forever.”

It was quick, and I didn’t realize until later how calculated it was.

After he filled me, he recovered me with the tight white lingerie—albeit slightly ripped now—and his release couldn’t slip out. My body trembled under his touch, his gaze, and he kissed me like he meant it at the altar. He always did.

”Sit up,” he gasped. I obeyed and looked up at him for the next direction. Instead of making a command, he walked over and sat behind me on the bed. His hands were hot and sweaty, his breath still quick. 

Then, his hands started working on the laces and zipper of my dress. It took him a second, but he learned and released me from the dress slowly. A part of me wanted to rush him, but this was it. The first and the last time he would take this dress off of me. When it was undone, his fingers uncovered my shoulders; fingers grazing my inked skin behind the falling lace.

Colby stood in front of me as I too raised to my feet and he pushed down my dress. I stepped out of it. When he went to worship the rest of my body that he neglected, I cut him off. I grabbed his face and kissed him. I savored his moans against my tongue before I licked into his mouth. His hands were on me. They fell down my bare sides, ran over the roughness of the lace lingerie over my hips, and raced back up over my shoulders, my chest.

I pulled away. 

Without looking away from the eyes I swam in every day, I loosened his tie and pulled it off. Then his jacket. 

My fingers worked and unclasped the buttons of his button up. With each one I unbuttoned, I kissed down his skin. I felt the way he shuddered under my breath, my lips, and I was reminded all over again the real effect I had on him. His heart beat erratically, his breath wavered.

I kissed all the way down his body until I was on my knees. The shirt slipped from his shoulders. He pulled from his shoes and pushed them away. Then I pulled his pants off fully; obviously they were already unbuckled.

He moaned my name, and somehow this was more intimate than him putting his cum in me.

”Come here,” he said before I could take his underwear off. I stood. He kissed me again, but he pulled me. His lips pulled me, his hands.

I followed him into the bathroom.

Looking back on it, every decision he made was calculated. He always allowed me my fun, but he never skipped a step or a plan. 

Colby flicked the light in the bathroom on and he pulled the stool at the wide granite sink away for me. I sat and looked at myself in the mirror. 

A flush matched my messy makeup and painted my skin. For as dressed as my hair and face were, my body sat completely bare. Naturally I considered cowering away, but he would never allow that. I froze as he stood behind me and ever so gently, began pulling the hair pins from my hair and setting them on the sink.

Pretty sure I melted then and there as if nothing that had just happened, happened.

I watched his face as he focused. With every pin, a strand of hair cascaded down my skin. Goosebumps spread over the touches. He kept the hair down my back and didn’t allow it in front of me. I knew that was on purpose; I would have covered my nipples with the strands.

When my hair was completely free, he left the bathroom.

”Colb—“ He immediately returned with my bag. He opened it. He grabbed the smaller bag inside of it knowing my brush and makeup remover were in it.

I could have been shaking from the chill in the bathroom, but I think it was from the warmth that pooled in between my legs in my underwear. I knew my eyes were darkened with thoughts. I looked up at him in the mirror as he brushed my hair. 

The fact that his cum pooled in my underwear while he did the sweetest, gentlest thing he had ever done for me turned this into the filthiest memory I had.

He must have known that this memory would get me on his knees for him every day for the rest of our lives.

“Stop that,” he finally broke the very long silence. I don’t think we ever sat in such a long silence without one of us sleeping.

”Stop what?” My voice caught. We ignored it.

”Staring at me like you’re going to eat me or something.” I laughed.

”Obviously,” I mumbled as I rolled my eyes away. He laughed at the heated blush on my face.

”God, you’re so beautiful. Insane in my hands.” He left the brush on the counter. “Take off your makeup and we’ll go lay down, okay?”

”Okay,” I nodded.

I knew he wanted to shower, but he wanted me to sleep with his cum in me more.

After I was finished cleaning my face, he shoved me back down on the stool. I gasped when he got on his knees in between my thighs. Darkly, his eyes glanced up at me for a moment and then he looked at my skin where he touched me.

As his fingers drenched the skin of my legs, he tugged the garter on my thigh off with his teeth. His breath left hot chills trailed behind.

When the early sun woke me up, I realized he purposely didn’t draw the curtains so we could wake up without an alarm but still on time. We woke up very much so on time; we didn’t need to leave for the airport for another three hours. It was six am. I opened my eyes and rolled to him. His body was on fire, and my skin writhed at the feeling of his hard he was against me already. Before he choked out his first word, I straddled him. 

“Baby,” he moaned, hands rested on my hips. I still wore my underwear like he wanted. His eyes fell down my body and landed on my underwear. “Off. Need these off now,” he demanded as he played with the frayed edges of the tear he caused. I raised my hips and pulled them down. His refreshed eyes didn’t miss a second of my body that was revealed from under the white fabric.

”Holy shit—“ he gasped, and that was how I realized we mixed—our fluids mixed—in between my legs and still connected my underwear to me. He didn’t spend another word. He threw the lingerie aimlessly and grabbed my hips with a force, a dominance, he didn’t use last night. I squealed as he yanked me back down on his lap. 

My eyes rolled back when we both thrusted my hips across him; up and down.

And when he filled me, when he shoved me down on him, I rode him until we both neared tears and more of his cum stuffed inside of me. The sun had barely awakened the city.

He washed my hair and my body in the shower that morning, and I was glad I woke us up so early so that our third round in seven hours was under that hot shower rain. It was less the rain that washed clean our mess between my legs and more his tongue. More within this night had he fallen to his knees for me than I could remember. So, naturally, I fell on my knees for him after.

We stood at the wide mirror and talked as we got ready.

Our flight to Wales was in an hour and a half.

And my stomach was in knots.

It was difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that this was the true start of the rest of our lives together, and not only that, we were on our way to an entirely different country alone to stay alone for a week without distractions. We’ve traveled together before, but I knew that nothing was about to compare to this.

Only through TSA did he pull his hand away from mine.

I didn’t even think about it.

Not even a millisecond of time was spent worrying about anyone else. Not our families, our friends, or our work took up a second of space in my head. I was torn apart for choosing the honeymoon location. While discussing it with Colby, we realized that we both already wanted to come here. He had been here with Sam before once while on their Europe trip. This country was simply romanticized in my head by the books I enjoyed.

The grass was infinitely greener than I anticipated considering the chilling weather. When I touched the grasses and blades of bristles that show from the soft earth, they weren’t soft or warm, and I snapped my hand back with a smile. 

The room was blue, I think; more windows spanned the walls of the bedroom than an actual expanse of drywall. The spindles of the bed were high and came together only a hair from the ceiling with white satin draped past the plush duvet. My fingers grazed the stitches in the duvet cover. He was behind me. 

I figured we would get accustomed to this house in a few hours. 

We would get accustomed to each others’ bodies again in the meantime.

First, his hands raised to my waist like they did so often.

Then he spun me around violently; that same gentleness must have run thin from our hours of travel. The sun set behind the horizon already and orange bands through the winter clouds were the only light in the dim room.

He kissed me again and without being able to see, my sense of touch was heightened to the max.

My back hit the bed and my pants slid down; I wasn’t sure which came first. The next thing I knew, he was over me, and his hand supported himself next to my head. I only made out his silhouette as my hands touched every part of it. 

“Oh fuck—“ he gasped when my hands harshly invaded the top of his pants before he could remove them himself. I couldn’t not say his name; at this point it was a habitual moan for me.

He kissed my neck and shoved my arms to the bed on either side of me. I didn’t even try to stop the embarrassing sounds that poured from me when he harshly fucked his hips into me at the same time that his teeth hooked on my skin. Now he could leave his mark. I knew he suffered the past month not being able to leave his love marks all over my body for people to see for the sake of photos. I yanked his shirt off forcefully before he dove back into tasting my skin.

He needed to make it up to me. There was a month of aggression, possession and need to touch, to claim. 

“Fuck me,” I demanded. His breath hitched in his throat and the pressure from his hips doubled. “Fuck me so hard, Colby. I swear to God—“

I screamed when he suddenly pushed into me and didn’t give me a second to process.

”No need to beg, baby,” he hummed; his voice darkly quiet in my hair. I didn’t remember when he pulled himself from his underwear or when he moved mine. It was all too fast. He fucked the moans out of me. I thought my vision went blurry.

He raised to his feet and I realized that this was the second time we hardly made it to the bed since being married. 

“Feel so good,” I whispered with moans broken by his thrusts.  

“Get up,” he demanded. I tried to sit up, but I couldn’t. It was all too much. “Get up,” Colby spat and his hand linked around my neck and he yanked me up. I gasped and open mouthed kisses shared between our panting breaths. I rolled my hips into him and his eyes shut tightly.

”Turn over.”

Shaking gasps poured from me from the fire lit butterflies that those simply words shoved down my throat. I turned over. My knees almost fell to the floor, but he hoisted me up and shoved back into me.

”Oh my god, Colby!” And a loud lengthen moan streamed from him. I balled the blankets in my fists when he raised one of my knees onto the edge of the bed for a better angle. 

I didn’t just see blurry, stars and colors swirled behind my eyes as well.

”Holy shit, my pretty wife, taking me so well.” I could have passed out from his words alone. Then his fingers grabbed me by the roots of my hair.

He yanked. My back bent backwards and I felt him push kisses and moans against my head, my neck. God, it was so rough too. It had only been a month since the last time he fucked me with that desperation of wanting to leave a piece of him inside, but it felt like the first. His other hand left bruises and purple crescent moons in my hips, my ass.

”Fucking hell—Get up, lay on the bed,” he finally broke and pulled out of me. So of course I scrambled to lay my head on the pillows naturally if it meant he wouldn’t be inside of me again until I obeyed. I watched as he grabbed things from his bag. “Will you give me your wrists?”

”Fuck,” I gasped and my hands shot above my head. “Yes, yes, yes.” And he laughed at my enthusiasm. He tugged my shirt off. 

A gasp sucked through his teeth fast enough that I knew they burned from the chill.

Even in the dark, his eyes devoured the way my fair skin contrasted with the dark lingerie that laced over my chest. He yanked my pants off the rest of the way and his eyes fell lower.

”You wore this all day?” He gasped.

”I put it on when I went to the bathroom in the airport.” A deep breath slowly left him. Then he leaned over and clicked on the lamp that sat on the table next to the bed.

The orange glow drenched my body, and I writhed under his intense gaze. I knew he ripped the thick lace apart in his mind. I waited and waited for him to actually do it.

Instead, he grabbed something he laid on the bed a second ago. The world stopped spinning when he lifted his wine red tie and wrapped it around my hands and a portion of the frame of the bed below the headboard. My heart was in my throat; the same tie he wore when he sealed our marriage with a kiss in front of our closest friends and family was now the fabric that tied me down to his bed. Our bed. It didn’t matter what physical bed we were in; it was ours.

”Pull, baby,” he sighed. The way his voice was smooth like he talked me to sleep as if he wasn’t tying me down thinking of all the ways he could rip my clothes off. I tested the makeshift cuffs but we knew it didn’t matter; he was entirely proficient in tying me down.

Fingers started at my throat and they painfully slowly dragged down my skin. Chills waved down my cold skin in their wake, and he rounded my heat and followed the band of lace that dipped an inch lower down my rib cage. The strap of matching lace around my waist that hooked onto my matching underwear were what his eyes drowned on next. He tugged on one of the stretchy bands that connected them and snapped it back. I winced.

”You’re going to kill me,” he simply said. I nodded like that’s what I intended. 

I held my breath when he picked up my vibrator from the bed.

”Colby—“

”Sh,” he said with finality. The vibrator hummed to life. “You’re not about to tell me what to do, right?” I shook my head furiously.

He shoved it against me over the lace.

I gasped and my back arched. His hand held my side; thumb stroked across the lace.

”So fucking hot, holy shit,” he muttered through gritted teeth.

”Why-Why are you holding back?” I moaned.

”You don’t want me to? I won’t be nice.”

”Tear me apart, Colby.” His eyes darkened, unblinking. “Do you not want to use me? Claim your wife?” His nails jutted into my skin and I gasped a moan.

He turned the vibrator onto the highest setting.

I screamed. My eyes rolled to black as the pleasure washed over me—more so drowned me under tons of ocean weight—and he firmly held my hips down and pressed it tighter against me.

”You want me to use you?” My skin crawled. His voice still hardly trespassed a whisper. “How could I expect anything else from my slutty wife, hm? Tied to my bed, dressed like a whore, and begging for me and teasing me with that filthy mouth?” 

“Colby—“ I gasped with a shaking seriousness.

”What? Realizing you bit off more than you could chew?”

”Colby—“ I warned him, loudly this time.

”Cum,” he demanded. “You wanna act like my slut? Then cum for me.” 

That’s what I warned him about; I was too glad that he demanded from me what I couldn’t control.

My climax blinded me and the pleasure only lasted for a breath before overstimulation stung me. He didn’t budge though. Not as I writhed, kicked, and tried to twist away from him.

”You fucking kick me again and I’m tying your legs down too.” I couldn’t even respond to that jeer. His voice picked up now and a sick part of me couldn’t get enough of it.

“Please,” I begged. “Can’t breathe—“

”You know our safe word,” he teased. My mouth closed. He scoffed. “What I fucking thought. Just a dumb slut who wants me to ruin her.”

“I’ll be so-be so good for you, please! Your fingers—Give me your fingers, please!”

”God you sound so pretty crying for me to fill you,” he sighed as his head lulled to the side. Completely enthralled; his eyes only blinked as much as necessary.

Moving my underwear to the side just enough for his fingers, Colby’s lips parted as he teased my slick entrance.

”Plea—“ He pushed three inside of me. “Oh shit,” I gasped. “Oh shit, yes, yes please.”

”You love it, hm? Love it when I fill you? Fuck you senseless?”

”Yes! I love it, I love it so much.” I tightened around him when the waves of pleasure built again. He shook his head quickly before the words even started.

”Don’t cum.”

”What?” I gasped. “Col—“

“No, I said don’t cum. You told me you wanted me to fill you and fuck you, so how about you take it first? Then maybe I’ll be nice if you cry hard enough.”

He wasn’t wrong. Tears already flooded my eyes.

Colby leaned over me. His lips hovered just out of reach. They parted as if he breathed too heavily to contain himself, and a parted smile shined down at me when I couldn’t gather myself. I whined when I couldn’t kiss him or touch him or reach him. I could only feel him the way he wanted me to.

”Please,” I gasped quietly.

”Please what?” His soft voice whispered. My eyes shut tightly, a tear fell. I wouldn’t be able to see that cute smile and listen to that gentle tone without imagining his fingers fucking me harshly and his other hand pinning a violent vibrator against me.

”Let me cum.”

”You’re not demanding me to let you cum, are you?” He asked as his eyebrows furrowed with question.

”N-No, please, Colby, please let me cum on your fingers, please.”

“Aw you sound so sweet, baby, trying to sound like my good girl?” The teasing made it unbearable. Yes, the vibrator made me lose my sense of self, but that venomous teasing gave it to Colby. Everything that I am was in his hands, his control.

“Yes! Been so good for you let me-let me cum already I can’t-I can’t control it—“

”Good thing you’re not supposed to,” he said. “I’m the one who tells you when to cum, okay?”

”Yes-Yes Sir, you-you—Please! I’m so good for you, wait-wait for you—“ I lost control of my voice.

The pain from the overstimulation dissipated.

My hands didn’t pull on the restraint anymore.

Colby kissed me sweetly. His lips and tongue left soft kisses down my neck.

”Yeah, that’s right, good girl,” he whispered calmly. He moaned and looked down in between us before he rose to his knees again. “You’re so good for me, so beautiful, so perfect. Fucking cum—oh my god—cum for me, baby,” he finally told me. And I let go.

I moaned his name and I fully relaxed into it, into the pain and the pleasure, and everything he gave me. I knew I drenched him. I added to our mess. I couldn’t tell if he lost control of himself or if I blacked out, but the next thing I knew, he finally filled me again.

”Holy shit—Colby—“ I cried. Finally his moans met my ears, and I almost crashed into that pool of pleasure all over again.

He fucked me as harshly as his fingers just had, and I watched his sweaty face twist in pleasure through blurry tears. 

His free hand moved to my throat; his forearm rested on my chest for support. I whispered his name. Another warning.

”You going to cum one more time for me, my love?” He gasped breathlessly. “I’m so close, will you cum with me?” I nodded quickly even though I didn’t want this to end. I lost track of time when his body made itself home in mine. ”Oh shit!” He finally broke and raised himself to his knees. 

I watched as he raced a hand through his hair; fingers tugging at the roots as his eyes watched where he entered me.

”Cumming—“ I cried and his eyes flicked to mine for a moment.

The height of my orgasm hit me then he pulled out. I rode it out on the vibrator as his moans became music in my ears. He finished himself off; painted me with his release.

It took work for me to hold my eyes open. Between the pleasure and the way he looked painting me with his cum, I couldn’t really believe there was a heaven better than this one.

And he turned the vibrator off.

He sat on his knees in between my useless legs and panted. 

I didn’t object when he grabbed his phone from his pants pocket and took a flashed photo high enough to capture his chest down to my ruined body and my hands tied up to the bed. I opened my eyes when the flash was over and he fell over me; hand supported him next to my head. He showed me the photo with bated breath.

My throat coiled in on itself at the disgusting filth he captured. He was still enticingly hard, flushed pink, and I couldn’t tear my eyes from the sight of his cum ruining my lingerie. My mouth watered at the pearly streaks of white that contrasted on the black lace and black ink on my fair skin under the lingerie. The red of his tie only enhanced the flush over my skin. Thin faintly black tears raced down my face.

I was a mess.

A disgusting mess that somehow made my knees weak all over again.

”You’re such a good artist, husband.” The phone fell to the blanket under us as he burst out laughing.

His thumb linked under my chin when he kissed the life out of me.

”Needed to at least put my signature on my work, yeah?” I laughed back at him and he planted more kisses on me. Then he untied my hands. 

They fell to the bed and my eyes widened. I still hadn’t gained much control over my body.

”It’s okay,” he whispered and brushed my hair, my sides.

”I know,” I sighed as I rose from my subspace. 

“I’m right here, love. Always right here.” He kissed my skin as I came to.

”Is it gross that I don’t really want to shower?” Colby laughed again.

”I’m not sure,” he teased and sat back to his knees to look at my body again. “I mean, if you take a shower with me I’ll wash you for you.”

”Yeah, with your tongue like you did this morning?” A fond smile.

”I’ll wash you, I’ll touch you, and I’ll make you feel good however you want, my wife.” I smiled. We both couldn’t get used to—get over—the titles.

”Fine, then carry me to the bathroom, my husband.” 

✧˖*°࿐

Taglist (Comment to be added):

@a-random-google-user

#colby brock #sam and colby #sam golbach #18+ only #minors dni #colby brock smut #colby brock x reader #rosie writings #rosie hub

[stillflight]

Especially with "rare" or underacknowledged experiences I feel like maybe the whole obsession with validation thing is too much. It's shallow, and it introduces no value to the nonhuman community. An unusual demographic, like, idk, flamingo therians, are going to benefit a lot more from ONE flamingo just posting shit about its experiences and identity in the tags than they will from a thousand users who aren't even birds posting "Shoutout #45: Flamingokin exist!" and making pink pride flags and shrimp themed stimboards. Reign me in if this is too blunt but we will only find nonhuman community by actually talking about ourselves as nonhumans, not by note farming.

Even if you're pretty sure you're the only one here of your species. Ok, you're a Megatherium, and you've never even seen your kind mentioned before, and it's so cool that someone has included giant ground sloths in a mile-long list of "who's valid" (that ends in "any everyone else!" anyway). But what do you think you're getting out of a single shoutout to your species from someone who's not a member of it, doesn't know anyone who is, and doesn't even know for sure they're speaking to a real audience at all because they don't know you exist and just threw it in there because they heard of them in a book?

#alterhuman

[crippleprophet]

rules of engagement before we begin: do not seek the original post out to interact with it negatively or harass op in any way. if i find out about anybody doing that sort of shit i’ll block them so quick it’ll be the fastest i’ve moved all year. ok thx here we go

[image description: three screenshots of a post with the username blacked out. the introductory & closing paragraphs are as follows, & the bullet points will be listed within the body of this post. the introduction reads:

nobody warns you this but addiction happens without you noticing and one of the first things that it attacks is your ability to care. if you find yourself using recreational drugs every day, stop and take one day a week sober. if you struggle with this or if you don't see the point of the exercise, you are likely already addicted and you need help.

nobody ever taught me the warning signs for drug addiction, only that "it costs lots of money and destroys your life!!!1" which is not helpful if you can't recognize a developing addiction in yourself. so here's some things to watch out for with recreational drug use.

the conclusion reads: yes this applies to weed. weed is a drug and you can get addicted to it like any other substance. addiction is not the same as physical dependence; it is psychological and it can happen to anyone. you are not immune to addiction. end image description.]

now! fundamentally why i will never align with this kind of perspective is that i affirm addiction as a social construct, like all so-called mental illnesses, & the psychiatric institution which invents & reifies them as a fucking sham.

answer quickly:

what substances is it possible for one to become addicted to? does this include caffeine? why or why not?

is the claim of sugar addiction legitimate or anti-fat pseudoscience? what, if anything, differentiates this from other addiction science?

what is the harm of the so-called opioid epidemic: access to a safe supply of narcotics, or the lack thereof?

can an autistic person who eats the same dinner every night, for example, be said to be “psychologically addicted” to it if they have a meltdown & subsequent ongoing distress + disinterest in food when it is discontinued?

can you be addicted to psychiatric medication? immunosuppressants? why or why not?

my point is less that these behaviors are not indicative of addiction but rather that that wouldn’t inherently make them harmful. fuck it, let’s take it point by point!

planning your day around drugs e.g "i'll give myself an extra half hour before heading out so i can get high first"

this whole post had me asking “literally what is the problem with this,” starting with this first bullet! why does someone need to leave for the grocery store at 5:30 instead of 6, or whatever? and the other recurring theme: what happens if you replace “drugs” with “pain management”? (chronic pain is not the only valid reason to get high—all reasons for drug use are equally value-neutral—but it certainly still is one.) “i’ll give myself an extra half hour before heading out for my pain management to start working” is the kind of calculation familiar to most people with chronic pain. “stop and take one day a week without pain management” is not a test of whether you “need help,” it’s torture.

now, disregarding one’s priorities or commitments to other people in favor of drugs can happen, & in many circumstances it’s harmful to the other people impacted. that’s not what was said here, & stopping that behavior does not require getting sober.

rapidly switching emotions around drugs. you love them but you hate that you love them so much. you hate the way you feel on them but you hate being sober. feeling guilty after using even when you didn't give a crap beforehand.

do you know what else i love but hate that i love, what else i hate using? my fucking bed. three years ago, my mobility scooter. this is not a logical argument, this is a bullshit argument. my feelings about something do not inherently reflect its harm to others – or to myself, even, though i firmly argue for the right to make “self-harmful” decisions regardless.

you know what people hate being on but hate worse being off? the vast fucking majority of medications.

why might a drug user start to feel guilty when they previously didn’t? being shamed by friends, family, or a fucking tumblr post; surpassing a constructed threshold of “acceptable” use they didn’t know they’d internalized; experiencing new or greater access issues; beginning to probe their morality around drugs & unpack things they were taught; experiencing consequences of criminalization; getting triggered.

caring less about spending money. if you are budgeting for drugs like they are food, you are likely prioritizing them more than is healthy.

“if you are budgeting for pain management like it’s as important as food, you are likely prioritizing it more than is healthy.” health is absolutely useless as a value for me anyway, but: the food’s no good if i’m too nauseous or too dead to eat it.

prioritizing drugs over other people’s financial needs is harmful! this wouldn’t happen if food & drugs were provided to people; some people wouldn’t need as many drugs if their needs were met otherwise; people’s needs being met shouldn’t be dependent on their parent / partner / self not using drugs; this harm is not what the bullet says.

getting high to do household chores and other unpleasant things because it would suck less and be more bearable on drugs

“things should suck. because god wills it i said so.”

feeling anxious or restless while sober, not knowing what to do with oneself, feeling lost or ungrounded.

again just. what’s the problem with that. so what if being sober sucks or is boring or stressful or demanding. so what if someone decides to deal with that sober or decides to use more because of that. who gives a shit.

thinking about doing drugs constantly even while sober. maybe it's the first thing you think of when you wake up. maybe when you're bored or otherwise have free time, drugs are one of the first things you can think of to occupy yourself with.

“thinking about getting better pain management constantly when you’re in pain”

i feel like you’re gonna tell me the only thing that can really take my pain away is jesus

again like. what is the problem with doing drugs because you’re bored. why do i need to occupy myself, what, fucking productively?

going to work or school while under the influence, especially if it happens regularly and if you're seeing your performance suffer as a result.

what’s wrong with going to school high. derailing a class discussion is a dick move, maybe, but that’s not inherent to being high. work & performance are both very broad terms – a surgeon or someone operating heavy machinery not being sober is putting others at risk of harm in a way a cashier is not.

the idea of taking a 'tolerance break' sounds good to you until it's actually break time, at which point you can come up with 20 very reasonable sounding points to explain why it wouldn't benefit you actually and you should just keep doing drugs regardless.

y’all think this is incredibly circular logic too right? “drugs are bad, so telling yourself drugs are not bad is proof that they’re bad.” took me right back to the sunday school classroom and i wish i was fucking exaggerating. it’s an argument founded upon the inherent wrongness of trusting yourself – what you want to do must be wrong because you want it. this is one of the points that’s a more solid indicator of, like, “congrats! you’re now in circumstances doctors are salivating to psychiatrize as XYZ Use Disorder,” but that doesn’t make it any less nonsense as a moral argument.

even if you succeed at quitting the drug, you keep your dealer's number on your phone "just in case"

so what. what’s wrong with giving yourself the continual autonomy to choose whether or not to do drugs. what’s wrong with quitting drugs for a while and starting using again.

you pretend to be sober when you aren't. you worry about other people noticing how much time you spend high. you make efforts to hide your drug use or minimize how much other people think you're using. you're scared of other people's judgement if they were to find out.

this one might be the most ludicrous to me, which is really saying something. “if other people being bigoted towards drug users makes you pretend to use less than you do, that’s your fault & not theirs.” cool! thanks for the quick heads up to not believe a word you say!

you have mood swings laced with self-hatred, regret, financial worries, and guilt. these mood swings are then very quickly wiped away by feelings of "but it doesn't matter, i can do what i want, and clearly i'm doing just fine while using drugs frequently". news flash, if you are rapidly switching between feeling numb-ok and hating yourself more than anything because of your drug use, you are mentally ill.

again, “the norm knows you better than you know yourself, you can’t listen to yourself, the body is wrong, wanting is wrong, pleasure is wrong, you are wrong wrong wrong.” but god, what a beautiful example of how oppression is psychiatrized: it’s not enough for the oppression to have worked, the system must then convince us that the effects of it working are our own fault. it’s not enough to just kill us with us fully aware of the knife, it’s gotta convince us we’re bleeding out for no reason. if you want any moments of pleasure during your miserable godforsaken little life you’d better put your nose back on the goddamn grindstone and repent. everything around you for your entire life has told you to hate yourself for your drug use but if the combined force of that violence works you are mentally ill, and that is the worst crime of all.

according to this post, when is it okay to use drugs, then? well, not planned into your day, and not at work or school, but not when you’re bored or have been thinking about it too much, and not if anyone who’d judge you or you don’t trust knowing you’re high or you just don’t want knowing is around, and not if you don’t want to quit, but also not if you’ve quit already. you have to hate your drug use otherwise that’s proof it’s attacked your ability to care but hating your drug use is proof you should stop. #JustSayNo

#& yes i wrote this stoned #substance use #drug use #addiction #drugs #long post #stigma #mac.txt

[thementalshawty]

Who’s Your FS PT. 2

Heyyyyyyyyy happy ‘24!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m back with the awaited pt2 to who’s your FS. Now if I’m guessing most of you saw pt1 and just back here for confirmation or for more information, now for those who are new here hellloooooooooo! This is a shorter version of p1 only I’m using one deck for this reading. @silvershiningtarot gifted me the tea leaf oracle deck so that is what I’ll be using for this reading! Thanks baby!! Now REMEMBER THIS IS A GENERAL READING! Take what resonated and leave the rest for others to take in you want something more personal, you’ll have to purchase a reading from me, or any other great reader on here, mmk? Til then just take what resonates with you in this general reading! Choose an emoji and let’s get started and TAROT IS A SUGGESTIVE METHOD, DO NOT RELY ON ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO MAKE OR DICTATE DECISIONS AND MOVES FOR YOUR LIFE! YOU’RE THE POWER!

P4: 🖤

P5 :💞

P6:🫶🏽

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Pile IV

Your spouses have faced major challenges and obstacles in their lives, they’ve climbed many a mountain basically. They aren’t a weak minded person, they got heart p4 and they’re brave! They’ve faced so much they don’t back down from shit! This person is a survivor, a soldier, a warrior lol! I can’t stop bragging about how strong and fierce they are! They’ve been hit with so much shit and they’ve climbed it, I feel like right now they’re facing yet another major challenge in their lives. There’s rats around them, people that are secretly working against them behind their backs, they’re not even aware of it or who it could be cos they’re so focused on what they’re facing. Poor babies! These are my survival mode babies! They have paranoia, they think everyone is after them most likely, they are afraid of peace cos they don’t trust it, they had to defend themselves their whole lives. “All my life I had to fight.” Maybe they had a color purple kind of life, like Celie, or Sofia, but don’t look at the gender of them, it can be male, female, gender less, this person has been through some shit and they still are needing to defend themselves, don’t feel bad for them tho, they can handle it I feel, they’re hella strong but they shouldn’t have to be going through shit just cos they can handle it or they’re strong you know?? They’re a bit defensive too only cos they always had to defend themselves so they don’t understand the concept of constructive criticism or advice from bullying or trying to tear them down, they never had anything healthy to compare the toxicity too. So be mindful of that. They’re successfully overcoming a problem right now! They always land on top! They are the type to get kicked down but have the last laugh. They cannot be defeated, they lose battles but they WIN WARS! Maybe some of them live over a bridge or live where there’s a famous bridge (golden gate bridge I heard so maybe some of them or you are in cali). This person is a new person entering your life not an ex or someone you have met already, you haven’t met this person, you can possibly know of them, but you didn’t meet yet. They are arrogant and boastful and it’s cos what they went through. They are high! Very cocky they got an ego, and it’s cos whoever or whatever crossed them or tried to cause them harm failed and was destroyed leaving them way better than before. So they feel untouchable. They’ve been grieving some kind of loss, they have sorrowful moments especially when they relive or reminisce about what they went through and lost. They’re starting over and recreating their lives, venturing out into new territory or new methods of life, they’re hella creative and idealistic so they are now coming up with new and impressive ways of going about things. They may like watching the sunrise, could’ve been born at sunrise? They’re an early bird most likely. They’re a king/queen to themselves and they don’t need any validation from anyone! EVER! They persevere and never give up, this is how they overcome issues, they’re not the type to just take shit lying down, they’re a fucking fighter. They have plenty of material things, they have a lot of stuff, I’m not seeing hella wealth but they have plenty of money, they can afford whatever they want in that moment. They’re cocky cos they know they fought for everything they have so they feel they’ve earned the right to be cocky. They have been disappointed by friends and lovers in their lives who I feel have plotted behind their backs, it’s almost like I’m getting the rise of Tony Montana from Scarface, maybe they like that movie, they have a nice house and nice shit in their homes (random). They’re over thinkers, I told you they’re paranoid, they think that everything may crash and burn and they will have to struggle again like they’re used to but they are getting better and better each challenge or obstacle. I think that they’re bigger than you, some of them are tall, heavier, curvy, just bigger than you some in height some in weight. They are coming out of their cocoon a butterfly they are going through

Yet another transition and transformation, it’s for the better they are going to emerge from this so much better, stronger and more abundant I feel, I think that they always end up financially secure or blessed after every challenge they end up gaining some money that’s why they have so much shit I feel, they love to celebrate themselves. They are a happy go lucky type of person because they have been through shit and they have won every single war they’ve been in so they feel like they’re blessed and have good luck, others may gossip and say that they’re a lucky person but they’re really just good like that! They deserve their position in life, I promise you they do!

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

Pile V

Happiness is important to this person. This is the type of person where money doesn’t matter to them. They just want to do what makes them the happiest, not that they aren’t taken care of financially, but they aren’t a shallow or materialistic individual. They love standing in the sun, they probably laugh loud and proud they are one of the happiest people you’ll ever meet in your life, they hate being upset or angry, it takes a lot to make them mad I feel. They have built a nest for themselves, they have a cozy home I feel, they are filled with so much love, they’re emotionally secure and they come from a loving family, or they want to create a loving and emotionally secure family. They definitely want kids, family is important to them which is why I think they were indeed brought up in a loving home at least some of them did, very warm and fuzzy person. They believe in love and happiness they believe love will bring them true happiness! I love them! They have a two faced friend in their life right now tho, this person around them is a fake ass person being fake but they only see the one face right now, idk if they don’t wanna face it or they genuinely don’t know about this person but they have a fake ass friend amongst them P5. They can be a cat person, they can even feed the birds or have a bird house at their house, you know what I feel too, they have one of those fountains for the birds outside their house, a family of birds could live outside their house. They have great fortune, like I said they are taken care of financially, I feel like because they don’t chase money like how everyone else is so obsessed with the bag, they’re not which is why money and fortune finds them simply they don’t chase anything but their happiness honestly. They are a very blessed person, a human four leaf clover 🍀! You’ll feel blessed around them too, maybe some of them are born in march, I do get wager sign vibes from this deck. Their skin is on the darker side, especially if you’re looking for a wife she’s got a darker complexion than you or her hair! It can also be their mom, or sister only because family is hella important so is their culture too, I feel some of you guys share the same culture others differ but even the ones that share the same culture you may not be into it as deep as they are they are devout to their culture and family. They may have gotten their money through inheritance, or winning something it could’ve even been some kind of windfall either way it came to them very naturally and it was like a stroke of luck or a blessing they are wealthy, they could’ve even inherited a beautiful piece of property. Something wealthy and grand they have! Money or some grand property. They are protected from negative forces, their guides and ancestors don’t play with them, anything negative that comes their way doesn’t affect them directly or heavily! They’re blessed frfr, truly lucky person! I’m happy for this person! Fuck that fake ass friend tho. P5 you gotta winner here! They may own a boat, 🛥️ yacht? This pile I’m getting old money vibes, wealth, old Victorian homes and castles type of background with this person. Idk. I see that because this person is so blessed and rarely sees any negativity, they aren’t very used to being told anything less than great, they need to learn how to accept valid criticism, I feel they feel anyone telling them anything less than satisfactory is a hater. They don’t want their happiness interfered with. I feel like there is some criticism that they need to listen to. So they have some downfalls in this person. Some of them could’ve been born rich. I feel like they are spoiled, the silver spoon ones. They are only used to having the best so anything less is not what they pay attention too. Others I feel they inherited money but before they did they accepted the fact that things suck sometimes so when anyone come to them with it they try to brush it off cos they know life sucks sometimes but they pay no mind to it which is a high vibe but also low too. They’re a fucking soaring 🦅 EAGLE! They

faced obstacles, struggles and troubles and they triumphed over it, beautifully, so they may be spoiled but they are strong and resilient! They will handle what they need too! Eagle could be a bird they love or I’m hearing maybe some of them have an eagle tatted. This fake ass friend I feel like they are undependable and insincere but they make excuses for them, only to avoid facing an issue, this may be a family friend? I feel there’s a hesitation to cut this person off, this person your spouse cannot depend on yet…….. that person still around I bet. Ugh! 😩! Your person needs to stop being so nice, they are sweet as fuck and I feel this person uses the family and your person. They are the type to get warnings ahead of time, whether it be their intuition or an actual person warning them but I feel like they always get the heads up! They are about to face a problem in the near future if they’re not facing nothing now. Some of you will be dealing with a person with white, blonde, or gray hair, some could dye it, some older, shit some is both! They’re the type of come from the families of legacies, like fashion companies, hotels, inventions, etc. They could have been next in line? I feel like with others who gained the wealth I feel like they worked but it came rather quickly, your spouse found what they loved and made millions off it. This pile is a lot about their possessions because even the next card is letting you know that right now they are increasing in material wealth right now, spiritual growth as well, which why I feel like this fake ass friend will be seeing the door soon this year! They could’ve had a goldfish as a pet or they do right now (Random). They love to vacation and take time away from everything. They’re a traveler! They are the type to drop everything and go to the fuccin Mykonos or Fiji just cos they can! They are extremely wealthy! Billionaire status to some of them I feel the ones that come from money in their family. Others they are millionaires or damn near close asfcc they could be on vacation right now, or they’re in desperate need of one.

🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

Pile VI

They are highly praised and thought of, this may be the fame pile and nah not entertainment celebrity but a celebrity in their fields. They’re know as probably gods/goddesses in their field of work. They’re very loved and adored by many, they have lots of fans and people throwing themselves at them. They’re very loved! 🥰 Love is hella important to them. They want to love so much! They search for true love, they may wear bows in their hair, remember bows are just accessories for any gender!!! They could be born in November or you may meet them around that time. I feel like Thanksgiving may be important to them too, they may love helping others, volunteering, I am hearing turkey drives. This is your true love by the way P6. They are in some trouble right now or have gotten into some trouble, either they were making accusations or someone was making accusations against them. I feel they’re in the hot seat at the moment or they’re putting someone else in the hot seat. I feel like it’s the first one, lots of people may be jealous of their fame, success so they’re doing anything they can to make them fall and suffer, lose that credibility. They feel like something is lacking in their life, I feel like it’s love but it can be anything, from money or goals, they just feel like they’re lacking something in their lives. They also I feel keep their emotions tucked in a barrel, I’m hearing some shit about image so maybe that’s how they move, they move the way they think they should to keep the fame. Opportunities are waiting for them at the door, opportunities that they create for themselves. Great businessmen/women! They handle the shit right! I’m not sure if they have a lot of money I don’t think they do I think they have a lot of fame, and notoriety but I don’t feel like they are rich or wealthy enough yet, they aren’t struggling they’re building up but they’re not where they want to be right now. They are about to have an exciting event that I feel will bring them in everything that they want. I feel like you guys may meet an exciting event. I feel like they may have a gong or like the sound of them ? (Random). They will be successful that’s guaranteed I’m seeing, they took their time, planned right and worked their fucking asses off they will be hella successful this year !!! This is a NEW PERSON! You don’t know them, you haven’t met them, like p4 you could’ve heard of them but you haven’t met them yet, this person hasn’t entered your life yet but they will, I think this year!!!! As soon as I said that a month card came out man!!! May!!!! They can be a Taurus, or Gemini, Scorpio or Sagittarius. They hella sensual. They may like to eat! You may meet in May. They have flopped a few times coming up in their lives, they’ve tried many different approaches and ways and have been unsuccessful. They didn’t give up they kept going and told themselves that they would be better next time and they were going to make it! They’re very focused i am getting earth sign energy major Capricorn energy especially! They are very poetic. Some of them are writers, or write with quill. 🪶. They are so creative and they are getting the start they deserve, they just want to make it, they just want to make it in what they love and continue getting the love for it, I honestly hope they do. Things are going to change for the better for them, they will make it and be successful and they will be triumphant and whatever they are facing in life. They are a bit arrogant and boastful, they aren’t a dick but they’re very egotistical and they don’t play about what they have, don’t cross these people either I feel like bad karma happens to those who cross your spouses, hella protected in the spirit world and I feel they know that and that’s why they are so cocky well a part of it, they are loud and they are goin to be heard no matter what, they show off too, I’m telling you major Capricorn vibes, this person is on their way to becoming CEO’s and Bosses this year yahhhhhh!

📖 📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

Well thanks for tuning in!

Happy fuccin new years🎉

Get ready for the new year it’ll be killer!

Up’s and down’s but you’re a lot further than you were before so don’t forget it!!

I hope you enjoyed the reading and it brought you confirmation and clarity. TRY NOT TO COMMENT ANY THING ABOUT WHAT YOU READ! Some people look at the comments and are swayed to choose a certain pile based on someone else’s confirmation so please! If you have anything you want to say dm me, send in an ask, please try to comment only your feelings about the reading not any revealing information if that makes sense! Thanks babessss!

#tarot reading #tarotblr #tarot community #psychic #tarot cards #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a card #free tarot reading #fs pick a pile #thementalshawty #fs reading #fs tarot #fs pac #tarot readings #tarot witch #love reading #intuitive readings #tarot tumblr #free tarot #love tarot reading #free tarot readings #tarot pac #pick a picture #pac #pac reblog #tarot

[inkskinned]

they keep the silverware in the same place. you forget about it a little bit when you move out, but during the holidays, it comes back. the way you smooth over your life for them, a gentle reckoning.

for a while, you tried to find yourself by being wild. throwing your body at the emergency exit. finding comfort in the sharpness of a held breath. you used to write wake up on the inside of your wrist. you couldn't calculate the weight of your own sorrow, only that nobody was looking at the anchor of it. you tried maladaptive coping mechanisms like catnip. got caught half-in half-out of them. felt, weirdly, like you should be embarrassed of all of it.

but it does get better. mostly it's just that you become a priority to yourself. it turns out that lending yourself the ragged edge is just cutting open more marrow. for a while, it felt good to see a physical representation of inward agony. but who was that punishing? you learned, slowly (so slowly it was almost invisible sometimes) that you could put love into the wound instead. that the floor was comfortable because it was certain - but it was cold, and unwanting. instead there is a warm bed. you learn to treat yourself like a kid again. gentle-parent yourself into the shower and over breakfast and into laughing without effort. you do wake up.

but then you come home again, and it is like everything is a strange kaleidoscope of childhood moments. here is how you inherited your mother's anxiety. there is the same music playing, and you can't sit down without worrying you forgot to do something. your mother's clipped words and hovering hands - are you sure? are you sure? birdlike, you find yourself seeing unwell and still end up repeating.

here is your father's anger. you are 16 again. there was a moment where you remember thinking - holy shit. i am so much more emotionally mature than you. how you have to talk him down from minor inconveniences, how you parent him like an errant and spoiled toddler who can't be told no, and i mean it. you feel the warp of you. why you can't be in the same room as people having a completely normal conflict. why your skin crawls if there's ever a hint of a fight. why you live with your hands up, placating. and god forbid you get angry. you feel that little spoiled kid rage against the iron will of you. not you, not your hands. you would rather cut your own tongue out of your head, no matter how valid her argument is.

and you're so fucking far from where you were as a kid. you've done so much healing. and there's this little sad part of you that can see the shadow of your past, and your hands wrapped into each other so tightly you made your knuckles white. and how much your parents are just people, and haven't changed much, and still keep the spoons in the drawer to the right.

there is a long dark tunnel here, and it has a name, but you haven't learned how to process that kind of speech yet. close the cabinet. make a note to go get more oat milk. close your eyes.

this place was never home, was it.

#spilled ink #writeblr

[saltydkdan]

Salty i wanna get into Baki which one do you recommend,the manga or the anime?

Oh you just woke up the fucking beast (I'm so sorry).

I LOVE this question, and as a recent Baki fan myself, I can tell you that getting into the series as a Western consumer can be rough if you don’t have a basic guide to know what you’re getting into…. so that’s what I’m gonna make this post (TEEHEE).

This series has gotta be one of the most insane shonen- actually no- one of the most INSANE PIECES OF FICTION I've ever experienced, and I NEED more people to check it out. Like, LOOK AT THIS SHIT DUDE.

Baki out of context somehow even puts Jojo's Bizarre Adventure to shame. The way I usually pitch it to people is that Baki is as insane as people THINK Jojo is before they read it. Shit is just... MAN LMAO. OBAMA IS FUCKING IN THIS.

Unlike more popular stuff like Dragon Ball and Hunter x Hunter, a lot of this series has just never been officially localized, so knowing where to start, and even how to support the series, is a hard task if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Thankfully THAT’S WHAT YOU HAVE ME FOR. This Tumblr post is gonna be your one stop shop for how to get into Baki as an English speaker (and it’ll give me some space to ramble about one of my latest favorite series).

But uh before we get into the nitty gritty, wanna put some trigger warnings for the series for those who may want to know. Listen, I know how some of these are gonna look to the average person, but this series just be like that sometimes, if you can’t take stuff like this trust me it’s insanely valid. You’ll understand if you choose to take the plunge.

SERIES TRIGGER WARNINGS:

Animated Blood/Violence, some animated gory imagery, Incest (???), Nudity, Urine stuff, Bigfoot/Animal Violence, Death, Uncomfortable looking muscles, and one instance of sexual violence (offscreen)

If you are comfortable with all that (and again, valid as fuck if you aren’t) then let’s talk BAKI!

First off, Manga or Anime?

You would think that either would be fine, but my personal recommendation for Baki as a beginner, is to watch the anime over reading the manga. Simply put: The anime is a lot more widely available and accessible in English speaking territories, and is fairly easy to support officially with its current iteration.

For whatever reason, the manga just never really took off in the West when compared to other series, so it was only ever officially released in English a handful of times, and they only ended up publishing the first few volumes. Theoretically, you can read the first few books to start, but the entire series all together is legit longer than One Piece at a whopping 1,203 chapters, so you are gonna run out of material real quick. The fraction of officially available manga barely scratches the surface of the series.

Even if you’re stubborn about reading the manga and want to try reading fan translations, they come with their own separate batch of issues. Plenty of fan scans you can find online range from wildly outdated, to generally being poor quality at best. There’s even some fan translations that just straight up make shit up and don’t even properly translate the original script. Adding in extra dialogue and slurs randomly to make the text seem way edgier than it actually is.

Full disclosure, I wanna cut through my bias here and say that there are indeed some great scans available on the internet if you look hard enough, especially for the more recent content! But they aren’t super easy to track down with how the series is formatted, and you may accidentally find yourself reading the story out of its proper order.

The watch/read order of Baki is a bit of a toughie for new people, but is actually pretty simple once it’s explained. The story of Baki is split up into multiple different series, kind of similar in format to Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. Though instead of “Parts”, Baki is split up into completely different manga and TV series. This is why many fans get confused initially, especially with the watch order, because it isn’t laid out in an easy to understand way at first glance.

The most well known series are currently streaming on Netflix, but those aren’t the ones you wanna start with. Nope, the story of the Baki anime actually starts way back in 2001, in a TV show that isn’t streaming officially online. Now if you want to watch out of order, I’m not gonna stop you. You can do whatever you want, by all means, but you’re gonna be missing some VERY important story context, and some characters just won’t hold the same weight.

So if you DO want to watch in order, come with me my friend. Let me show you-

BAKI’S SUPER COOL AND NOT AT ALL CONFUSING WATCH ORDER:

Baki the Grappler (2001) (24 episodes)

This is the original 2001 anime adaptation, the very start of serialized Baki anime. You’re gonna wanna start here trust me.

This series isn’t streaming anywhere officially online, but you can find it… places. Seek it out, trust me, because otherwise you’re gonna pay way too much for out of print DVDs on Ebay. Thankfully though you have options! The series is both subbed and dubbed (as well as every series I discuss from this point forward.

This show is the very start of serialized Baki anime, the very beginning of Baki Hanma’s story. Although it’s not in the way you may think. Despite this being the earliest point in the Baki timeline, it’s actually an adaptation of a later story arc from the manga.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Didn’t you just say this is where I should start? Why is it adapting something from later in the story?”, and yeah it’s valid to be confused. While yes this is the first ever Baki anime, for some reason the staff behind it made the decision to move this later arc up a bit from the original manga. In my honest opinion, I feel like this is actually a great decision.

As you will see as you watch, this honestly FEELS like this should be where the story begins. The escalation of power and storytelling from this point onward feels very natural, and you won’t miss out on anything or spoil yourself whatsoever on later events.

This is the de facto best starting point.

Grappler Baki Maximum Tournament (2001) (24 episodes)

This is effectively the second season of Baki the Grappler. For whatever reason they decided to title it something else, and while this is the norm for the series later on, this name change is weird because it adapts an arc from the original manga just like the first season of anime I just talked about.

Whatever lol.

Anyway this series, much like the previous, isn’t officially available as of now. So your best option is to SEARCH for it. SEARCH on the INTERNET. Or y’know. The good ol’ expensive out of print DVD on Ebay route.

In my opinion, compared to the first season, this one feels a bit slower paced and a bit of a slog at points but HOLD STRONG TRUE BELIEVER. This season is the introduction to a lot of mainstay characters in the series. Many of which you will come to love, even if you don’t know it yet.

BAKI (2018) (39 episodes) (NETFLIX)

This is the modern adaptation of Baki. After the last series ended in 2001, the anime went on hiatus for 17 years before it was announced that it would be coming back with a modern coat of paint.

Contrary to what you may think, this isn’t a ground up reboot. It’s a continuation of the exact point they left off years ago, right after the Maximum tournament. The only thing that kind of sucks about this is that, at least for the English dub, they replaced most of the voice cast. Most of the new VAs do a great job, however you may need to get used to Yujiro Hanma having Shadow the Hedgehog’s modern VA from the games haha.

Thankfully, you can officially support this series easily via Netflix. Normally I’m pretty eh on Netflix as of late, but this being the only way you can support the show officially in the west, I personally recommend it.

Baki Hanma (2023) (39 episodes) (NETFLIX)

This is the most recent anime! It’s also on Netflix.

Me and my friends just got to this on our watchthrough together.

Anyway, this is my list! If after you catch up you wanna hop into the manga and read the fan scans, I’ve heard that you can start on Baki Hanma/Baki Son of Ogre (chapter 183).

Hope you enjoy the funny man punching show! Feel free to report back and tell me how you feel about it (positive OR negative)!

Like I said, I've been watching the series with friends on Discord every night or so when we're free and MAN. Baki is fucking AMAZING WITH FRIENDS. It just never slows down after a certain point, and it just gets stranger and crazier.

#salty asks #saltydkdan #long boys #baki #anime #manga