#and I absolutely cannot comprehend how some people don't feel like that all the time. what's next

[lastlymatt]

Yeah tv!Alex is so different and honestly I think in a good way!

Book!Alex was always like, 'ugh I hate working for MI6, why do they keep dragging me in, I just want a normal life, I don't care that much about a random person in danger'.

Tv!Alex is like 'I don't care about skipping school to go save the world because I care that people are going to get hurt and the department is doing jack shit so I feel a responsibility to do the right thing'.

It's very different and I think TV!Alex has a lot more compassion and care in him and wants to help others and would sacrifice himself for the greater good. He is his father's son, and I think it makes a lot of sense that way, and I like how morally strong he is in the show, and a lot more mature.

Not that I dislike book!Alex, of course I love him, but he's definitely more of a 'kid', which while accurate to his age, I do like watching a more adult and mature Alex. (tbf though I haven't read the new books yet so idk if his characterization has changed)

I hope we do get a post-uni show with the same crew and we get to see Adult!Alex working for the department.

While you're absolutely right about how book!Alex is more of a 'kid' and very reluctant to go on whatever mission of the week, TV!Alex feels far more naive and innocent than his book counterpart despite being older.

Because book!Alex does come through when the threat is real. He wants to protect people and the world, just not when he's being blackmailed into it. He cares enough that he willingly puts himself in danger for a boy he barely knows in Ark Angel without anyone prompting him to.

A lot of the time, he saves people or goes after villains because he knows that MI6 is useless. They demonstrated that over and over again to him while TV!Alex hunts them down to get them to do something before being smacked in the face with the reality of the Department.

I will say he is absolutely more stubborn about going back to school and staying 'normal' than TV!Alex, but again, that is because MI6 keeps pulling him back.

TV!Alex gets blackmailed by Blunt once. A car doesn't show up in front of his house or school every other week, so he can be shipped all over the world to almost die for some goal he barely comprehends. He isn't forced into dangerous fabricated situations where he has to turn to MI6 for help in exchange for doing their dirty work.

TV!Alex instead goes through one harrowing experience and is then told to forget it ever happened. He isn't beaten down and almost murdered every other Tuesday, so of course, he has a stronger hold on his morals but he isn't the mature one here.

In fact, he seems incredibly naive when he thinks he can waltz into a criminal organisation, get his revenge on the Department, and go back home as if nothing happened.

Book!Alex tells Scorpia up front that he could never be a killer, but he still participates in all the lessons like he's told to and seems to have a better understanding of his situation despite not having both Nile and Yassen laying it out clearly for him.

I think book!Alex is also far more willing to join up with Scorpia because of how awful MI6 is to him compared to TV!Alex's Department. He also goes into his first conversation with Rothman, just wanting to know more about his father. Of course, the fourteen-year-old idiot would go with the people who are "honest" with him and treat him with more respect (and I say this as someone who cannot read anything where Alex stays with Scorpia)

TV!Alex goes in with the idea that he can somehow destroy Scorpia, but he gets manipulated from the moment he contacts them. He runs on the grief and need for revenge that Scorpia injects him with almost the entire time he's there.

They're both their fathers' sons, but their arcs are very different. One is very drawn out, and the other is cut short with a happy ending.

(This is very personal speculation, but I think that if the TV series had continued and Alex's family had been "killed" just like Jack in Scorpia Rising, then Alex would've also absolutely shot someone)

So yeah... very different characters with different arcs. The comparison gets a bit murkier because of the different mediums, but I hope I got my point across.

I'm very curious what they would do with an adult!Alex because they'd have to come up with completely new material for that, and it would remove one of the main aspects of Alex Rider that I enjoy, namely that he's a kid who shouldn't be there.

Personally, I just want an adaptation of Russian Roulette.

#sorry for the ramble #i hope you don't mind #but yeah I have thoughts about this #alex rider #ask

[bamsara]

Howdy! I just want to take a moment (or two…or three..yeah this is longer than I thought it would be) to talk about your characterization of Narinder in your TRoD fanfic, specifically his grievance over what he perceived the lamb to be and betrayel.

I like to think Narinder repeatedly calling Lambert a traitor (I think at least once a chapter actually lmaoo) over and over, is trying not so subtly to avoid thinking about the why behind the betrayel and the pain that comes with it. Especially since he'd already spent an eternity wondering about the previous betrayal of his siblings. How emotionally torturous it must feel to be in this cycle of rejection, from the people he depended on, even now from his own followers who don't recognize him. And then, when he and Lambert finally appear to be on the same page about something, Lambert goes and spares Leshy, reminding Narinder once again that his divine commands hold as much weight on the Lamb as they will decide to hold.

It isn't up to Narinder to decide how the lamb will act, as much as he wants to. It's one thing for Narinder to have people listening to him, but it's another to actually be heard, and after an eternity of silence during his imprisonment he's absolutely desperate for some form of control and impact. For someone to truly hear him. Which is a shame, because Lambert does, but Narinder cannot recognize it since they don't always give Narinder what he wants (since being a God is all about what you want), and instead are more interested in giving him what he needs.

I assume at this point, after being revived into a mortal form, he's actively given up on trying to understand why everyone just keeps "betraying/rejecting him" and would rather use his own inferences of their behavior as explanation, once again, for that feeling of control, since he's utterly mortified of hearing those words come from their mouths instead of his own (doesn't help that he can actually read minds either). He'd rather kill his siblings than hear the why (not saying the siblings were justified ofc, but understanding one's motivations is, y'know, important to effectively communicating with them in a way that's healthy) Despite needing to be heard, he's internalized that many won't bother listening unless he has control over them in some way, like he did before when he was powerful. When he mutilated his siblings, had Lambert create a cult in his name, being heard isn't just an emotional or mental aspect to his wellbeing, but is literally part of his power as well.

He was/is a God, he's used to followers prostrating themselves just to hear the time of day, giving their all to listen, hear, and follow him. It's why he struggles to separate the aspects that are ingrained in a follower, from those who are a friend. Unless they're also God he can't comprehend much of a difference, and expects them to be of the same or similar standing. He was friends with Lambert when he was Godly, yes, but he still saw himself as above Lambert, and expected them to lay down their life to him like a follower would. Yes, Narinder didn't want to cut them out of his own life in their death, but still expected them to just..die for him. He didn't ***just*** see Lambert as a friend, he saw them as a friend that was also his follower. An exceptional follower he loved, but not an exception. There was a power imbalance that Lambert now sees.

It's why Narinder's utterly baffled and offended, fearful even, at Lambert, someone he deemed as "traitorous", investing their time into still trying to talk to him..listen to him.. for virtually no gain…at his lowest point...when he himself is now "lesser".

Narinder tries so hard to not become invested in those he deems as "lesser" or "traitors" but its near fucking impossible, because like it or not, his desires and needs are so inherently mortal and genuine (desire for power, companionship, love, understanding, control, etc) that if he doesn't close himself off, he may have to face falling into the same pit of disappointment and failed expectations he fell in with Lambert/his siblings once again. So he doesn't, and hides away in his shack until Lambert comes knocking.

And now, as the cherry on top of this emotionally constipated bundle of angsty cat woes, he has to live and breathe as the very thing he deemed as "lesser". Being forced to invest in these mortal needs, now that they're a necessary component to his survival. This is also why I believe he goes on these little crusades with Lambert in the first place as well. Not only because they return to him a sense of routine and normalcy (also pining, coughocoughghhrbogh who said that?), but also because it allows Narinder to forget about investing in his own wellbeing for a while.

He was a God, he didn't have to go through the work it took to just do your laundry, eat, brush your teeth, or take care of yourself since he never had to. The thrill of adventure and battle, the adrenaline rush of near-death experiences, can't hold a candle to the mundanity of work. So when he's not crusading, he just..sleeps..wanders around..the fact he's not socially accepted by his own followers doesn't encourage him either. I mean fuck, he such a complete wreck after Lambert spared Leshy, he crusaded and neglected his health for so long he passed out.

His life is all work now, investing in himself, in others, being forced to have his ego get knocked down a few pegs, and care again despite how much it hurts. None of these things are "given", Lambert's love is not just given (as in, blindly follow) and that's what I believe will be an eventual "eureka" moment for him.

Living is work, but it's worth working for

He ain't hot shit anymore, but that's ok.

Anyway, sorry for the long-winded ramble this was all actually just a very roundabout and ineffective ploy for me to talk about how I relate the song "Don't Speak" by No Doubt, to your Narinder's character. Happy belated New Year, hope you're doing well. :]

LKSDHGKLSDHGD HELLO. This is such a well articulated analyzation of Narinder holy moly, I hope you don't mind me answering this with not much to add on because WOW I'm really vibing with your takes on him and I wanted the world to read this too slkdghlksdhgs. I have a lot of my own takes on Narinder and how he'll progress to be as the story comes along, and eventaully some of this will be talked about in TROD either with the lamb and/or with other characters, particularly Ratau, as he comes to an understanding that others are understanding.

I have not had coffee yet this morning but I could go on for a day and a half about Narinder being used to getting what he wants as a god and the entire process of how actaully lonley and isolating it can be to be continously pedastaled and worshipped verses being on equal, human level with other beings and how long it takes for him to realize that.

HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR

#xhlhglsdkhgds im sorry if my answer is lack luster but im consuming your texts with my entire smooth brain

[bobosbillionsknives]

i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

#tw sa mention #theres more to say with knives and the plants too but thats an entirely different essay post LOLL #thank you again for the ask I was itching for some kind of excuse to get my thoughts together like this 😭🙏 #my based takes #asks #vash the stampede #millions knives #trigun #ive been putting off posting anything else to force myself to finish this...sorray yaaalll.....hope it was werth it thoo.... #do NOT let him talk about trigun yall. 😂 !! you'll never hear the end !!!! #trigun maximum

[burst-of-iridescent]

I've actually seen people say that the line in TSR sounds like Zuko isn't about defending Katara but that Zuko thinks Aang's beliefs are silly, and he doesn't think it's not part of the "real world" or something. How would you explain that part? I hope this doesn't come off as aggressive, I just want to know your thoughts.

i think what a lot of people tend to forget about aang - mostly because the show loves to paint him as Eternally Right and Wise most of the time - is that we cannot take what he says about air nomad culture as the Word of God. this is not to say that his beliefs are wrong or immoral, but that his interpretation and understanding of those beliefs will be naturally influenced by the fact that he's only twelve years old.

we see multiple times in atla that aang's perspective of air nomad culture is contradicted by that of other air nomads. gyatso is found surrounded by dozens of fire nation corpses that he undoubtedly killed. yangchen tells aang directly that his moral and spiritual duty is to kill ozai, regardless of his own feelings on the matter. clearly, then, neither of these two practiced absolute pacifism and both of them have years of experience and learning on aang. that is why simply reading, or studying, or parroting what other, more learned people have told you does not make you an expert on your culture - because the final component of genuine understanding comes from practice, from living and experiencing and putting your beliefs to the test, tempering them in the fire, questioning those that don't hold up and renewing your faith in those that do.

the problem arises from the fact that aang never does this, because he simply does not yet have the life experience to critically think about what he was taught! and that's fine, but it's also why it grinds my gears when people act as though aang was some kind of moral authority in the southern raiders, because he is very much still a child with a child's understanding of his culture.

that is what zuko means when he says that this isn't air temple preschool, but the real world (not a nice or polite remark, for sure, but also not without an element of truth to it). zuko is not calling aang's beliefs "silly", but he is calling out the fact that aang is not in a position to lecture others using beliefs that he himself does not - in fact, cannot - yet fully comprehend since he does not have the time and learned experience necessary for said comprehension.

and there was a much better narrative there about how aang clings to what he was told about his culture because it's all he has left of it, and how truly honoring his people's legacy means critically engaging with his cultural beliefs rather than enshrining them, allowing him to become a fully realized air nomad instead of remaining forever crippled by his grief - but sadly that's not the narrative we got, since aang had to be Unquestionably Right, and that's why we're still stuck dealing with discourse like this.

#atla critical #aang critical #it's not even actually critical of aang but we know how certain aang stans are so #anon asks

[k-s-morgan]

Hey, I was re-reading ATLWETD when I noticed something so obvious in this paragraph that I stupidly didn't notice the first time.

"Riddle was taller than him, so now his lips were almost brushing against Harry’s forehead. 

“I don’t need to live in a Muggle world to own someone,” he murmured. Belatedly, Harry realised why he was standing so close — he didn’t want others to overhear his outrageous statements. “You should know this. After all, you know me better than anyone.”"

He wasn't gloating only about the death eaters, like Harry thought, he was mostly referring to the Horocrux situation and their own really unique relationship (also, the fact he almost kisses the scar as he speaks made me scream).

Will we see more moments like this in the next chapters?? (If you don't want to spoil us, just ignore this part.)

This all brings me to the actual question: Harry replies:"It’s because I know you that I’m not going to entertain your disturbing fantasies,” he said. Somehow, he managed to sound less harsh than he intended. “No matter what loyalty anyone promises you, it is not infinite. If you treat people who pledged themselves to you cruelly, they are not going to stay. I saw it happen. And by the rate you’re going, I think it might happen again.”

What the hell did Tom assume from this reply? And most importantly, what assumptions did he make about the connection between Harry and fake!Tom based on this answer?

Hoping the best for you and your loved ones in these hard times <333

Hi! Thank you <3 I'm glad that you saw the second meaning of Tom's words. It was related to how Tom envisions their relationship and to the Horcruxes both.

The more Tom imagines what life he and Harry might have had, the more feelings and desires are born in him. He's certain that Harry was his in every way and that he had absolute control over him because in his eyes, that's the only possibility for them to have a relationship. This is what he began to want now, so he's sure that any other version of him must have wanted the same. Harry cannot relate to it, ownership doesn't interest him, so he didn't fully comprehend what Tom meant.

I cannot say specifically what kind of moments of closeness and possessiveness we'll get because I never plan these things, they pop up by themselves as I write! But there will definitely be a lot of them))

As for your second question, Tom and Harry are having somewhat different conversations here. Harry is talking purely about Tom's followers, Tom is talking about them and about his bond with Harry at the same time. Harry's words made him think that he lost the devotion of some of his Death Eaters in that other reality, but most importantly, he contemplates the fact that his attitude cost him Harry. He doesn't know the specifics, but he thinks that his insanity pushed Harry away and resulted in him being snatched into some other world. Harry doesn't seem to be actively trying to go back to it, which Tom considers as another proof of their broken bond. In his mind, with their connection, Harry would have to be obsessed with reuniting with 'his' Tom. Since he isn't, it means that the other Tom failed him so much that Harry is now more interested in building something new with his other version.

Tom is confident that he'll be a better partner. At the same time, while he places Harry above everyone else, he doesn't see him as his equal, and he cannot imagine a relationship without any violence and control in it. He thinks Harry mostly accepts it, only that 'his' Tom overdid it because of the Horcruxes. So after Harry's reply, Tom's trying to assure him him that some violence is an inherent part of a relationship, and that he's in his right mind, so he'll know how to keep a balance between violence and fondness - basically, that he'll succeed in being a leader that Harry (and the others) would be glad to respect and follow both in 'professional' and personal capacities.

This probably sounds a little messy, but Tom's mind is still reeling from all the (fake) revelations, so he cannot always settle on a specific picture) It keeps changing.

#my fics #tomarry #harry potter #tom riddle #atlwetd

[howyouloveyourdragon]

okay so im drafting this at like 8am on a sunday and while i usually don't feel comfortable posting milestones, this felt like an important one and i am so incredibly grateful for you all

i saw this morning that i hit 1k followers which is absolutely insane to me

i want to thank everybody who has ever followed me, supported me or inspired me especially as of recently and i apologise to anybody that i may have missed from tagging below (i originally tagged everyone in this post but it wouldn't let me because of stupid tumblr block sizes so please check the reblog down below) and there is absolutely no pressure from my end for you to interact at all! i just wanted to say thank you and that i really appreciate every single one of you and whether or not you were aware of it, you had an impact on me both as a person and a writer. im simultaneously in awe and trying to process why so many people on here have even tolerated me on this godforsaken hellsite

i greatly encourage any and everybody seeing this to check out any/everybody i have tagged below in my reblog and their writings/blogs, i can guarantee you that you will not be disappointed

i feel like i have been able to grow so much as a writer since publishing my first fic on this app, lavender haze, because of everybody's support and i just cannot even comprehend how so many people could actually enjoy what i write or listen to all my ramblings

when i was 13 and writing fanfic for the first time back in 2018, i never would have imagined being welcomed into a community so wide and meeting so many incredible people through this fandom let alone people actually enjoying what i write and following me at all

this horny fandom feels like a second home sometimes and i want to sincerely thank every single one of you from the bottom of my heart for being here for me even when i overshare and talk too much ☠️

sometimes i feel like i've only just typed howyouloveyourdragon into create account for the very first time and sometimes it feels like it's been a year already but hey only a few more months to go and the anniversary of howyouloveyourdragon will be among us

to celebrate you all joining me on here, i think that i will be finally buckling down and finishing as many of my drafts as i can and publishing them asap for you all to enjoy

i will be uploading a poll shortly to let you decide how i should prioritise them

unfortunately i doubt that i will able to celebrate in this way on the same day as this milestone as i will be in another country as of friday 28th but i will be trying my hardest to deliver these fics as soon as possible and as of this week i am reopening some malnourished drafts as i type this

to all of my followers, mutuals and friends thank you so very much

#thank you #you don't know how much this means to me #thea talks too much #follower milestone #tumblr you beautiful bitch you

[fallout4-reacts]

Anonymous asked:

Ok so this is less of a request and more of a thought to consider. It bothers me that Danse doesn’t really comment on vertibirds going down/crashing/finding dead brotherhood in the commonwealth. It also bothers me that Hancock doesn’t really say much during the synth quest in Diamond City. Idk I feel like there’s a lot of potential dialogue that’s missing. Like Preston commenting on a settlement that’s been “improved” (hit all requirements for water, food and defense) should also be a thing.

do you have any ideas for potential dialogue that’s missing from the game? Again, not a request so don’t feel like you need to write anything, but just a good for thought.

Titan quest part 2! (Part 1 - 3)

Codsworth - Danse - Hancock - MacCready - Nick Valentine

Codsworth : It's easy to imagine that for a robot who is so concerned, he should have asked Sole how things went when they returned from the Institute without Shaun, but he didn't! He never mentioned the mission once! So, go find people in Concord, and then what happens to your life and family, nothing?

"I've heard that you've entered the Institute with triumph, Mum/Sir. Please explain what occurred to Mr. Shaun.

Sole comes to a halt while walking. They come to a halt in the middle of the street in front of their house and dump their luggage on the ground without looking up. Codsworth drifts gently towards them, concerned.

"Mum/Sir, what's happening? Did the young master suffer any misfortune?"

Codsworth is taken aback by Sole's uneasy, possibly insane, chuckle.

"Misfortune? It would be difficult to quantify that misfortune. To say the least, your youthful master is no longer young."

"What you're saying is terrible! A poor baby, raised away from is family? What happened? Explain!"

"He is no longer a baby, neither ten years old like I believed, but it has been several decades since his kidnapping. Shaun is now old enough to be my grandfather and the director of the Institute."

"How is that possible? How is that even conceivable? Actually, it's nervousness. Come home, unwind, enjoy a refreshing bottle of water, and I'll cook you a delicious meal. Things will get better. Then you could give me an explanation."

"Don't you get it, Codsworth? There are no more children to save. Shaun is the Commonwealth Boogeyman's leader, period!"

"I get what you're saying, however, I find it difficult to comprehend. I'm aware that I haven't always reacted appropriately to the odd world we currently inhabit, but this time I'm just asking for some time. Let me prepare a delicious meal for you, and then we'll have a more beneficial conversation."

Danse (pre-bb, after all others affinity dialogues) : Danse's acceptance of Hancock into Sole's company is completely illogical, but if he can find a way to accept Hancock for one reason or another (he is the mayor of a town and thus an important figure for the people of the Commonwealth), it appears to me absolutely impossible for him to accept Strong's presence without flinching.

"Recruit, it's time for a discussion."

Sole seems astonished as he turns to face Danse.

"Paladin Danse? I'm no longer a recruit, you know?"

"When I see you making such poor choices in your companions, I can't help but think that you should learn the Brotherhoods from the bottom up."

"What is the main point of this story?"

"You make synthetics your close friends, right? I could see how this Nick Valentine was an exception to the rule over others, and how he had been tremendously helpful in the inquiry to uncover your son's whereabouts. I may admit that your synthetic robot, even if it remains an abomination, is a medical tool that can be of great use. Your ghoulish mayor friend? He is a respected member of society, and an entire community relies on him; therefore, we cannot disregard all that at this juncture. Meanwhile, he's a formidable ally in Commonwealth politics. I can accept that as reasonable. I can even understand why you were branded with a bodyguard following your visit to the Institute, but I would be far more suspicious of this X6-88 than you are. But what about this abomination? You had the arrogance to bring this brainless, soulless beast behind you? I can figure out why he's still alive."

"Strong?"

"Don't consider the idea of naming this thing. Otherwise, please name him dead and shoot him in the head."

"Strong is not an abomination! Okay, okay, somehow. But he's not like other Super-Mutants, and he merits our attention." 

"I just heard him at Sanctuary say he'd love a meal of fresh human flesh!"

"It's... he has a... sense of humour."

"He was dead serious. And I'm being serious when I say you should terminate your involvement with this vile entity right now, with a bullet in the head."

"I could never, ever hurt that poor bastard."

"So, let me do the dirty work myself, but please let me do it without wasting time!"

Sole loses their friendly demeanour this time. They no longer hear the humor and take the discussion extremely seriously, clinching their fists and imposing themselves in front of the Brotherhoods, even if the latter dominates them from the top of his assisted armor.

"Danse, if you attack Strong, it may jeopardise our relationship, I warn you."

"And please understand that you have already jeopardised our relationship. Did you not hear what occurred to Colter when I informed you? Do you not care about my feelings? You who said you and I were friends?"

Sole knows and grasps everything this time. The pain in Danse's voice is palpable, and they can't ignore what their friend is saying.

"I... understand how you're feeling better now, Danse. And I truly regret putting you in this situation. Strong, on the other hand, is not like the other Super-Mutants, and I refuse to gun him down. I will not allow you to do the same. But I am not deaf to what you are saying. I'm not sure if you'll ever comprehend my point of view, but I won't impose it on you in the meantime. I'm not going to bring Strong into your company or talk to you about him. Do you think you'll be able to live with that compromise?"

Danse crosses his arms, his face contorted with frustration, yet he takes several deep breaths and then lowers his head slightly.

"I'll try. I appreciate you taking the time to examine... my... emotions and my point of view. If you are sincere, I will endeavor to put closure to this crisis and never return to the subject. Please, however, do not haul him to the Boston airport!"

Hancock (romanced): It's a classic, and we anticipate it. Sole must kill McDonough since he is a synth. Not a single word, or so few. There is no doubt about Hancock's feelings. But I read a wonderful fanfiction on the issue (sorry, I don't have the reference here and couldn't find it, despite my best efforts) and I couldn't do better. So, I'm going to do something completely different. A fascinating detail about the perk. Yes, I am aware that there is no discussion about the perk, and precisely! When we get to the Ghoulish perk, it's charming and funny, but I feels like it could have a bigger impact on the game, and I think it may lead to an interesting scenario with Hancock, who has previously expressed his desire to see Sole transformed into a ghoul.

When Sole leaves the exam table, Hancock abruptly raises his head. Did he hear correctly? He couldn't have heard it correctly. Of course, he's still hallucinating as a result of the chems he takes. But they've been on the road for a while, and he hasn't consumed enough to cause hallucinations. He doesn't think. So, he must have misheard something. He can't hold back any longer when he and Sole leave the clinic.

"So, how's the great shape?"

"Hm. I'm sure you heard. Don't act innocent."

"I'm not entirely certain I grasped that; could you expand?"

Sole takes a deep breath but does not dare to look Hancock in the eyes.

"It appears that I have taken too much radiation over time. My few round excursions in the Glowing Sea have probably played a lot. Finally, all of this hints that, strictly biologically, I am no longer truly human, but rather a ghoul."

"Wow, Copacetic!"

Sole clench their fists and teeth, struggling to contain their rage.

"How dare you?"

Hancock eventually realises his error and shakes his hands in front of him, throwing himself on the defensive.

"Woh! Sis/bro, calm down! I didn't want to offend you in that way! Just recall what I told: it would be fantastic if we could turn you into a ghoul. We don't come across a million people like you, but you're here, and you're my only one. I never grasped how I could have deserved such a luck, but the thought that you had a time limit was gnawing at me someplace. Now? We postponed the date. Consequences? Just immortality—you don't even have a radiation burn, as far as I can tell. In fact, I'd be jealous. You had to be the first flawlessly preserved ghoul I've ever met."

His companion takes a deep breath before looking up at him.

"Do you not understand? I have become an abomination!"

"Cut your Brotherhood-assholery level in your speech. Was it phony of you to be so at ease with the ghoul guy?"

His friend's eyes widen in stupor, he swallows twice, and the information finally appears to go the proper channel.

"You...you're correct."

"Yes, I know I'm right! Who are you to whine when you have the best of both worlds? You have a gorgeous alabaster skin, fairly sparkly eyes, and all your hair, and yet you may join us in the third zone for poker on Thursday night. And the following Thursday, and every Thursday for the next several centuries. I'm telling you, you're the blessed star."

When Hancock's smile rips his face from edge to edge, Sole can't help but chuckle. They now have a far better understanding of the ghoul's vision, and they are beginning to recognise all the advantages of their situation.

"Moreover, you will never turn green again because a ferocious storm of the Glowing Sea comes to warm our ears. And you'll be able to plunder it—that famous electrician's warehouse that makes you drool."

"Okay, okay, you sold your product; you can now stop."

"I'm never going to stop! Now you'll be hearing me for years and years and years and... years."

MacCready (romanced): Okay, so I'm in the classic group here, but it couldn't be otherwise. It's an obsession; WHY DOESN'T HE GO SEEK FOR HIS SON? Okay, that would be a long absence, but is it worse than sending Curie to be changed into Synth for a few days? Come on, Bethesda, if you can spend days building a settlement, you can give Mac two or three weeks to pick up Duncan and relocate him to Sanctuary, Diamond City, or even Goodneighbor.

"Can I talk with you, Sole?"

His friend withdraws from their tampered-with power armor and wipes their hands on their trousers.

"Mac? Is there a problem?"

"A little bit, yes. No, but somewhere."

Sole frowns, unsure. They approach the mercenary to show him that he has their full attention.

"What exactly is it?"

The adorable little rat's face contorts in a grimace as he rubs his neck to ease his discomfort.

"You see, we've come a long way together, and I'm happy here with you, and we've made a nice little home and everything, but this home, for me, still feels a little empty."

Sole has a surprised movement, but it doesn't take them a thousand years to figure out.

"Duncan."

"There. I knew I didn't have to sketch you anything. Please bear with me. I am truly happy to have you here, but I will never be completely happy as long as my kid is not with me."

This time, Sole starts to worry about what will happen next, and they try to disguise their emotion for the sake of their friend, but he is too perceptive to ignore it.

"I'm not suggesting going back to Capital Wasteland. Well, not quite. We've made our small home here; the Commonwealth is slowly but surely becoming something nice, and I have no doubt that from here, it will soon become one of the safest places to live, especially with you, but that's reality. Duncan has been receiving the cure for a few months now, and I guess he have healed enough to keep up the journey. I'd like to go get him. Please."

For a little time, they are deafeningly silent. Sole appears to consider, or rather swallow, their emotions, and MacCready himself appears frail. Finally, he is the one who breaks up the silence.

"I know it's going to be tough. I'm already concerned about how long we'll be separated, but I'm sure you understand. After everything you've gone through to reclaim your son? I'm sure you can see why I'd do anything to get mine back. But I don't want to be pay from our relation. I beg you to bear with me."

Sole appears to be waking up. They shake their heads, place their hands on MacCready's shoulders, and grin warmly at him.

"Mac, you know I'm not going to argue! There's no need to beg; I understand. Sorry for the shock, but I knew in my heart that this day would come sooner or later. I admit that I was hoping for later rather than sooner, and that I could accompany you, but I understand. I, too, would not have hesitated if I could have gotten my son back sooner. Allow your soul to go in peace. But please, oh, please take care of yourself and return to me swiftly and in one piece. I'm eager to meet your son."

Nick : "I never want to talk about it again." Is that it? Is there truly no way back? Is that all Nick deserves after going through hell with us? "Nothing to worry about; I'll let you self-destruct and fall into another state of turmoil." No! No. Nick deserves to see some light in his miserable spirit and to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

"Can I speak with you, Sole?"

Sole can't contain their surprise. It's not that they don't want to talk to Nick, but Nick has been unusually quiet and taciturn since they came back from Far Harbor a few weeks ago. And Sole gets it. All of this: knowing he has a brother, discovering he has a restricted memory, and then witnessing that newly discovered brother die, sacrificed to appease a small mob. Even for a man (synth) as conciliating as Nick, it was far too much. So when he approaches Sole with the intention of talking, his friend cannot help but feel relieved and hopeful.

"I'm always there for you, Nick; you already know that."

"Yes, precisely," Nick mumbles, avoiding their gaze. "Precisely."

Sole encourages Nick to join them on their couch. Whatever he has to say appears to be gnawing him.

"What exactly is it?"

The detective sits down with a heavy sigh, his gaze fixed on the floor.

"I know I said I didn't want to talk about what happened again, but... yet here it is. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was... it's difficult to figure out. That is a lot—far too much. You honoured me, though, precisely and at my wish. You have always respected me. You were a true friend. Since we met, you've been with me every step of the way through the dark depths of my existence. First, with your trust in my ability to help you in your personal search, then with your assistance with my files, and finally with your support with Eddie Winter. Then you joined me on this DiMa thing, looked for evidence, and handed it over to me. You let me process everything, draw my own conclusions, and make my own decisions. And, once again, in the face of the abyss that the future now represents for me, you stood by my side, as if nothing had changed."

"Nothing has changed."

"Everything has changed!"

Nick shakes his head vigorously, preparing to object, but Sole places a hand on his shoulder.

"You had a lot of doubt; now you have answers. Okay, with that, everything changed. What about the rest? You were not meant to be everlasting; nothing is, and with your way of existence, you risk breaking up before you reach the limits of your memories..."

"But I already forgot!" I forgot what happened with DiMa— 

"And you rely on that to measure your memory limitations? But don't you see the problem in your logic, Nick?"

The detective cocked his head, intrigued. He has no idea what Sole was talking about.

"When you told me your story, you said you woke up on a pile of garbage with no memory of where you came from and that all you had were flashes of Nick Valentine's life when you realised none of this belonged to you."

"Yes." 

"Where is the time laps? What we do know is that DiMA got you out of the Institute when they incorporated Nick's memory into your system, and you were extremely disoriented by the time you left. You assumed you were Nick Valentine, and you rejected that you and DiMA were related. Then DiMa knocked you out, and you awoke in your garbage pile at the exact same point, puzzled and unknowing that you weren't Nick Valentine. You remember the first human you met, your first night with them, the journey to Diamond City, how you made your place, how we met, and many other elements of your existence."

"But I forgot about some."

"Like everyone! What's the issue? Would you prefer to be more machine than man, remembering every detail of your life down to the second? Like a good program? But you're more than a program, Nick. You have a personality. You may be exceptionally bright, but you are what you are: a man trapped in a mechanical body. Okay, you run diagnostics; okay, I can't really imagine your perception or much else. But what about on a cerebral level? You are, without a doubt, a man in my opinion. And men forget. Period." 

As Sole talks, Nick's eyes widen in surprise, and he appears to take some time to process all his friend has just said to him before extending a weak smile.

"God, what you're saying is true. I see that now."

For the first time in weeks, his smile broadens and reaches his eyes. Sole, who is always holding his shoulder, squeezes a little to offer their support and smiles.

"Then you'll turn into a grumpy old rambler. You poor thing, destined to live the life of a man."

"If you keep it up, you'll sink me again."

#fallout 4 #fallout 4 companions #fallout #fallout 4 reactions #fallout 4 react #fallout companions #fo4 #sole survivor #codsworth #danse #danse fallout 4 #fo4 danse #paladin danse #fallout 4 hancock #hancock #john hancock #rj maccready #fallout maccready #maccready #robert joseph maccready #nick valentine #fallout 4 nick valentine #fallout nick valentine #fo4 nick valentine #reactions #reaction #fallout4

[throwaway-yandere]

can i smooch capo!mc on the cheek and like the tightest hug i think they need it

and also to have bragging rights like omfg i kissed the capo!!! and you didn't!!!!!

i get targetted by every love interest ever and am found dead in a ditch the next morning

😋 anon

Main Four:

Inquisitor Cyno: probably won't kill you, but will give you a long lecture as to why stealing kisses is a sin and you shouldn't even DARE hold hands with his blessing. He understands that "human impulses can betray their morals" but he still can't cope with the fact that other people have tainted his beloved.

Professor Tighnari: Embodiment of pure seething jealousy. Cannot comprehend as to how you managed to pull such a feat and regrets not making more moves when he used to be in the Innamorati Familia. You'll find an arrow buried deep just beside your head the next day with a warning sign. "Stay away. Don't think I don't know what you've done. I hear EVERYTHING."

Underboss Alhaitham: "You think that's something to brag about? Cute." This man is confident that his shared and forgotten history with capo!reader is enough to win their heart. Eventually. You may have stolen a kiss from them for now but he'll be the capo's last kiss. So what if you kissed them? Are you brave enough to confess your feelings? Because my dear friend, he already did. (Y/n) just doesn't realize it yet.

Architect Kaveh: He doesn't believe you. Kaveh thinks you're lying and he'll probably laugh at your face and call you delusional. If you insist on talking about it he'll sew your eyes and mouth shut with needle and thread. "Shut it. If I asked the disciples and find out you're lying you'll find yourself in big danger, you wench."

(Some of the) Secret Routes:

Visconti Diluc: In absolute agony. The best he got was when he kissed the ring on your finger as a sign of respect– how does someone like you have that opportunity?! It doesn't matter. That's what he'll tell himself. It doesn't matter, what maters is you should focus on getting (Y/n) to quit the syndicate. What matters most is their safety.

Musician Venti: He would be the most impressed one. Venti would think this is song worthy– he'd whip up a song about this in no time. It would sound joyous but the lyrics are grim and questionable. "A kiss in the cheek would make any man sweep– a sneaky rival down Starsnatch's steep~"

???: "You're acting awfully cocky, worm." You'll find that he's already inside your house– correction: dilapidated house. You don't understand what's going on, or why he's holding a small piece between his fingers– all you know is that whatever you say next might just be your last message on earth.

???: "I heard you've been spreading rumors about the 8th capo. Your mortal desires might just put you in danger." The least disturbed one, at least, on the surface. It's not like he knows capo!reader that much. "Still, why do you persist on bothering them? Isn't it already obvious that they're destined to die? When the day comes that they'll be consumed by darkness– I'll be the one to reap their soul. I advise you to not get attached."

#hsiaia finally a fellow man of culture– #ansytea-talks #tag: ocmc - cta #yandere cyno #yandere tighnari #yandere alhaitham #yandere kaveh #if y'all didn't understand the alhaitham part it's the Tuqburni segment #it means something other than you bury me #😋 anon #yandere venti #yandere diluc

[orangeshinigami]

i updated my VERSES page & now i have naruto & one piece verses since i have some moots from those fandoms mwahaha. (but friendly reminder that even if i don't have a verse for the series your muse belongs to, i'm always willing to plot & come up with a new au to make interactions between our characters easier!) make sure to check it ou y'all <3

mobile users can find my verses under the cut c:

( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) v: main. | canon.

Post-TYBW. Ichigo is between 18-22 years old in this and interactions where he’s about to finish high school or already in college will be set in this verse. He’s just trying to lead a normal life… Or as normal as life can be for someone like him, at least. Though the war left deep scars on his soul & he will often have nightmares about the things he had to endure during it, he’s doing his best to heal & to finally find happiness.

He does end up finding said happiness when at last, he allows himself to acknowledge the romantic feelings he’s had for his long time friend Orihime Inoue for a while & soon after graduating high school, they start a romantic relationship.

( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) v: the one who protects. | canon; pre tybw.

Pre-TYBW, Ichigo is a high school student doing his best to protect his loved ones from ill-intended creatures (and keep his grades up while he does so, not an easy task).

All interactions taking place before the tybw & which follow canon events will be set in this verse.

( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) v: spring day has come. | canon.

Given how powerful Ichigo has become & how much he’s done to aid Soul Society in times of hardship, he has the potential to become a captain should he choose to leave the world of the living & join the gotei 13. In the end however, his human side speaks much louder than the shinigami one, love & devotion to his family keeping him in the human world– aforementioned family grows, when he gets married to Orihime & they have a son named Kazui. 

He’s between 23-29 in this & has mostly healed from the traumas caused by the war. He works from home as a translator & still acts as a substitute shinigami every now & again. He’s absolutely elated that he can finally have a peaceful life alongside his loved ones while still keeping in touch with his friends from Soul Society.

( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) v: shattered windows & the sound of drums; people couldn’t believe what i’d become. | AU.

AU with adversitybloomed

Ichigo’s powers grew far too strong for even his human body to handle & it got to a point where his mere presence in the world of the living was disturbing the balance between the human world & the spiritual one. Left with no other choice, he goes to Soul Society, has to live there now. He isn’t very pleased about that & as he isolates himself in a forest to sort out his thoughts & feelings, he ends up running into a girl, Mulan– a goddess? He doesn’t fully understand what she is, but doesn’t matter. To him, she becomes a savior, the one who gives him hope and helps him comprehend and truly control his own power, so that he can be able to return to his world, to his family eventually.

( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) v: a fate that cannot be shattered. | AU.

Follows the same idea of the AU above, where Ichigo was forced to move to Soul Society due to how great his powers have become, but with a twist: in this, he decides to join the Gotei 13 & learn how to be a “full” shinigami. He does struggle a lot with leaving his human life behind though & will frequently think about giving up the whole embracing his shinigami side thing and just trying to figure a way to return to the world he once belonged in.

( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) v: that orange haired shinobi. | crossover; naruto.

Ichigo lives in Konohagakure, has lived there his whole life. When he was around 4 years old and his sisters barely older than newborns, their parents were killed during Kurama’s attack to the village– leaving them as orphans. He, however, never directed his anger towards Naruto like everyone else did– never blamed him for what had happened either. Because his late mother had taught him to be kind & wherever she may be now, he wanted her to still be proud of him. Besides, Naruto was just like him… An orphan boy, lost and confused who had to figure out how to take care of himself. He’s always sort of felt sympathy towards that poor boy.

And that sympathy later turns into true admiration after Naruto saves the village from pain, despite having been mistreated by most of the villagers his entire life. Ichigo thinks the other really deserves the title of “Hero”.

As for his abilities, Ichigo can perform ninjutsus and genjutsus to satisfactory levels, but his strong suit is taijutsu & he will sometimes use a sword to fight.

( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) v: travel the world & the seven seas. | crossover; one piece.

This is mostly live-action based as I’m not caught up with the anime! Ichigo is a skilled swordsman, having started his training & becoming one after the small village he lived in was attacked by pirates & his family killed in the process. He swore to himself he would become strong to fight cruel people, pirates like those who destroyed his home. Now, he doesn’t really have a place to call home anymore, he’s always traveling– going from one place to the next, hunting down pirates who commit horredous crimes, such as the ones he witnessed when he was but a child.

#i also updated my blogs theme and it looks so pretty #i'm proud of myself for finally having made this blog look decent & #for updating my verses page #tomorrow i shall finally work on drafts and on some of the... 50+ things i have in my inbox #lmao #i love it tho keep on sending me things mmmm #( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) out of karakura town. | ooc.

[takearisk-xo]

Hello, what made you finally take a “risk” into fanfiction and being comfortable with submit your work on A03/Tumblr? I’ve just recently started actively uploading some HP fanfics and I still feel nervous when I go to press the publish button. I try not to let my nerves get to me so instead of checking how many “hits” I get, I read fics from other others just to keep my mind from overthinking.

Also, wanted to say that I love the interactions you have with your fellow readers it’s beautiful, really. Seeing how they come together and read your writing. Not just that but it seems like you don’t know the impact that you have on your readers and when you receive an ask by someone telling you how much they love your work, it’s adorable how your at a loss for words. Because you have a great talent, and like the saying goes we are our own worst critics, even if you somehow feel like one scene or chapter isn’t the greatest, you never know if that scene/chapter means the world to one of your readers.

No matter what I hope you know that your writing will always be special and it’s truly one of a kind. Especially the way you come up with the details and dialog, it’s like the reader can get teleported into the story with the way you write each scenes. Also, the way you create the Daily Prophets are simply AMAZING, love it so much its truly a work of magic 😉. I always wonder how you came up with creating those and how long does it take you, for you to enjoy the final product to place in the story. It’s very creative and interesting to see, it feels magical, anytime I see a Daily Prophet in the beginning of the story.

I hope you the absolute best in your writing adventure and always know that even no matter what, you matter and the words that you come up with have the power to take someone away from the world and into a place that you’ve created even if it’s just for a few minutes.

No matter what ship you write for, do what you love the most because at the end it’s your story! ❤️

❤️

I hope you have a good night/morning 🥺

first of all: AAAHHHHFLSKDFJASDKJLFHADSGKJF

OKAY, now that we've got that out of the way. you are so lovely and absolutely the sweetest and i genuinely cannot comprehend how i ended up with so many of you being so nice to me all the time. because from my point of view i am just a person hanging out behind her computer screen in-between bouts of real life. like i cannot stress that enough. i am probably the most boring, underwhelming, thirty-something, toddler mom you will ever meet. so when people come to me and have.. like.. theories and analysis and excitement over this night-time hobby of mine, i get all blushy and giggly about it because i'm excited about it too! and i think you are absolutely right, we are our own worst critics and so when a lot of what i'm pulling together feels disjointed or mediocre, hearing that it still made an impact even though i was less than thrilled about it, quite literally translates into all-consuming motivation to keep going.

like just you saying you love the daily prophet articles had me scrolling through the ones i've made but haven't used yet to see if i can drop a lil sneak peek because you like??? an idea i had???

anyways, i'll stop rambling about my very transparent people pleasing tendencies.

as for your first question, i don't think we, as writers, ever truly get past the anxiety/anticipation of sharing our work. that's sort of the whole thing right? writing is a shared medium, it doesn't manifest its full meaning until it is shared. but it's also terrifying to share a bit of yourself, a bit of your soul, with someone and invite interpretation and criticism. that's really fucking scary. that's probably why chapter 17 is in a perpetual draft because i am very much afraid of putting myself out there and it not be good enough. so, i think it is absolutely okay to admit and validate those fears but i also think it's important to have people who can ground you and remind you why you are writing. i've been writing and posting fanfic for over ten years and i still spiral and overthink and obsess over stats, but thankfully i have really good people around me who can bring me back down to earth and whose opinions i trust when they tell me that something is or isn't working within a plot/dynamic/chapter. and i do the same for them.

i'd say that is the best thing you can do? make writer friends? find people you trust and who have similar tastes and interests and do fandom life together? because just like writing is a shared medium, fandom is a collective experience. it's meant to be shared.

the last thing i'll share with you as a new-ish writer wanting to take up the fanfic hobby, is that writing is the type of activity where you are not going to see immediate improvement or growth. it's just not. and it's also not something that can really be forced when it comes to success. you can't make people connect with your stories, so cherish the ones that do and keep reading and watching and writing until the story consumes you instead of you directing the story. at least, in my experience, that's what i've found to be the most rewarding, when i know the characters so well and have their voices so ingrained in my head that they are telling me how the story should go, instead of the other way around.

thank you so much for this message! please feel free to come talk to me off anon if you want <3 i'm always down to clown

#anon #answered #screaming crying throwing up etc

[frutiylaris]

Signalis. How and why?

I apologize for intruding on the signalis tag with my autistic love for this little game. It will most likely happen again. Signalis is just beautiful. I find it hard to enjoy most games that are released nowadays, be they indie, double-A or triple-A. I've become bitter about games and media and I'm only in my 20s.

So when my friend introduced me to Signalis thinking that I would enjoy it, I thought it would be another run-of-the-mill indie game about depression or some such nonsense. But then I played it... The first ending I got being the promise ending. Seeing Arianne and Elster embrace and just love each other made me weep. The sheer devotion this damned robotic woman had for her lover made me pause. And when I replayed it recently for my second playthrough just to make sure I didn't miss anything. I got the memory ending and my heart sank into sadness once again. I... I don't know how to describe my feelings towards the game. On one hand, I do not appreciate the heavy-handed foreshadowing, but at the same time a part of me now understands why it was done that way. Admittedly the moment I saw the King in Yellow and references to HP Lovecraft and cosmic horror my brain tipped me off on how it would end. I had a conception and then it was shattered and in its place a potted plant. A lily, covered in marble. Its blue veins still clearly visible. I want to understand Signalis. To comprehend that which I cannot, its an innate human urge to find some meaning, some purpose! But Signalis doesn't do that. Perhaps I became like Adler, once I understood what I was trapped within I so desperately wanted it to stop. To get out. To save the one I admired but in the end, I was twisted and left to a fate worse than death. I lost my purpose. And when Elster came by once more the events repeated themselves, no matter how much you try to reason and make arguments to one who is deeply in love. They will ignore it all. For it's not logic or thought that drives them, but love. That endless yearning for the one you know is gone, but yet you still chase after them. Even if you remember your promise. Forget it or whatever else. The cycle repeats itself. The world deteriorates more and more with each passing cycle until the rotted corpses arise from their graves and begin to roam the earth, unable to rest, to think, to feel. All being puppetted by something greater. I admittedly have not played the game a 3rd time since I wanted to get the artefact ending, but I just can't manifest the strength to do so right now. So I looked it up and... and it... I cried once more. I know what happens each and every time and that no matter what, it all ends the same. In tragedy. My second playthrough gave me a feeling of lucidity. Everything for but a brief moment connected together and I witnessed what lay before the black gate. And when I came back I couldn't tell anyone. I was paralysed with knowledge. Knowledge that I was never supposed to have. I traded in a part of myself unknowingly to even begin to comprehend what I had seen. And now that I am seated once more in reality, I fear speaking about it. About Signalis. Its beautiful. Its story is absolutely wonderful. Its gameplay whilst not groundbreaking is good, and the puzzles are a decent challenge. The music gave me a sense of primal fear and each moment I spent on Sierpenski and rotfront was unforgettable. I want this game to reach more people but at the same time, I fear it becoming popular. It feels so special, so unique that I want to hoard it away to myself. But that is selfish of me to do. I remembered my promise. I forgot my promise. I offered up something to the red eye and in return, it gave me one final dance to enjoy. The game about two space lesbians doomed to fail their mission made me feel genuine emotion. More than any other game has and I will forever cherish it. This forbidden tome of a love story. I have journeyed far into Silent hill and confronted my trauma. I have watched raccoon city burn and Umbrella fall. I witnessed Isaac clarke meet his final moments. I have gone to the depths of the Zone and seen the Wish granter. Signalis deserves a spot with all the greats. My only issue is its love of making a fair few too many homages. Thank you, if you read through all this babble.

From the Zone I came, to the Zone I return.

#imsohappyyetsosadthisgameisbeautiful #signalis #sorryforbeingautistic_aboutthe_spacelesbians

[m0mmat0rtle]

༝ ˚ ｡⋆𝐎𝐍𝐄⋆｡ ˚ ༝

The Sea isn't like most people.

No, the sea isn't like people at all. She is calm when allowed and wild when provoked.

The sea is not just. The sea is wild, natural. She is a part of nature, the most vital part of nature.

The sea is life. The ocean makes up over half of the planet and is vastly undiscovered.

Who are we without the sea? What is earth without the ocean? We are the blue planet after all, a people with bodies made up mostly of water. The sea flows through us.

"Mother Ocean" as she is so famously called, is as vital to us as the air we breathe. Water is the key to life.

Essential.

We must have it to live but we cannot control it. Not even magic can tame it. The ocean doesn't listen to us and we have chosen to ignore it more and more.

But one day, the ocean did listen to us. The ocean did act as a person and the results were far beyond what anyone could comprehend. Certainly no muggle, no ordinary city dwelling person could ever understand it.

My name is Sereia, I am the one that the sea spoke for. Because of its intervention in my life I became the one and only Sea Witch.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Unlike most people who were raised by their human mommas and pappas, wizard or muggle alike, I was raised by the sea.

I know what you're thinking, I don't need magic for that. How is that possible?

Stop asking questions. Stop doubting me. Just hush up and listen, would you? That's why you're here, ain't it? And don't go telling me that "ain't" isn't a word. I don't care. I was raised by the sea, remember? You really think I'm gonna speak correctly? Nope. get some perspective here, little girl raised by the sea in the wild on one of them remote costal islands. I'm going to do anything but speak correctly.

I've never minded living out here on my own. Some people will claim that the carolina crystal coast is one of the most beautiful things they have ever seen. They'll swear it up and down. And they're absolutely right.

And just how did I get to living out here all alone with no momma or poppa? Well, that's the thing, ain't it? I don't really know. I had parents, once, we all do. But what happened to them I just can't say.

I remember their faces, distant and blurry. I remember being young and loved and laughing as I ran up and down a sand bank, playing with them.

I remember sudden cries of panic and shouts for me to be spared. Then a flash of green light and someone shielding me from whatever took them. Ever since then it was just me and the ocean.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Now you're probably all wondering how such a wild thing as me, ended up in hogwarts.

Go on, you can ask me, I won't bite. You'd say "How did you end up at Hogwarts, Sereia?"

There you go. Well, it all started on a hot summer day. I had been working, doing what I had always done since the loss of my parents. I needed something to distract myself and the only reliable thing in my life now had been the sea.

And thus, I began to study it. I would wake up, eat, go outside to the marsh and find some snails curling up the cordgrass. I'd be in the water with them, of course, no use in trying to study something if you ain't gonna be in the water with it.

I'd sketch a picture of it, write down what I had observed it doing, and then lunch. Then after lunch it was back to studying something.

This time I would take to the shells on the shore. I'd sit out there in whatever dress I had decided to ruin that day, my belly against the sand, and draw whatever shell I had chosen as my subject. I would write down some key aspects of it and how many like it I could find, and then it was back home for supper and bed.

But if it were summer, or at least somewhat warmer out, I'd go out side to watch the fireflies. They were like summer stars, watching them fly about and shine their lights. I studied them too. Fascinating creatures, fire flies, did you know the females are cannibals?

Sure are, they eat the males when they're feeling hungry and don't have to mate. In all my time, studying those fascinating creatures, I never sought to study the most fascinating creature of all. Myself.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

It wasn't until that summer's day that I woke up to an Owl on the perch of my open window, with a letter in its beak that I realized something was up.

Where I come from, we have owls. They're a normal thing. But they don't come out during the day and they ain't decadent snowy white owls.

Which was exactly what this one was. So, naturally, I spent about five minutes just staring at the impossible thing in my window then actually doing something about it.

When I finally processed that there was an actual owl in my window and not just some sort of hallucination, I retrieved the envelope from its beak.

Once I did it flew off. Inside it there were two letters. The first, an acceptance letter to some school I had never heard of. Hogwarts. But the other was the more interesting of the two. It read as follows:

Sereia,

I can't believe I have finally found you.

It fills my heart with joy to know that you are alive and well. I send this to you in great enthusiasm and urgency.

Ever since your parents deaths I have worried about you. I have been trying for years to not only locate you, but to convince professor Black, the headmaster here at Hogwarts, to allow us to take you in and give you a safe home for you to own your skill as a young witch.

I have finally gotten through to him. He has allowed for you to come and start late as a six year. You will be assigned into the house which I am the head of, and your father was in, Slytherin.

Do not worry about any supplies. I will take care of it for you and you will find that it will all be delivered to your new dorm room.

I am ecstatic to meet you. I heard of you often via your parent's letters when you were young. They talked fondly of you, their little sea witch. They had always hoped that you would come here to hone your skill one day.

It is time to fulfill their wishes, Sereia. I will see you soon.

Best wishes,

Marina River

And really that was how this was all set into motion. I was taken to Hogwarts, it was the first time that I had seen a person who was not myself in a long while.

It was a lot to take in, no, that was an understatement, it was too much to take in.

This woman, Marina, had sent me another letter just days before my arrival at Hogwarts and had told me that she would meet me in the "Central Hall".

I had no idea what that was or where it was. I would just have to find my way there, at least that's what I thought. I never expected to meet the most unlikely guide on my first day.

Have you ever heard of "The blind leading the blind"? I'm assuming that you're getting what I'm saying. But yeah, I got so lost and turned around that the blind kid had to show me how to get to where I was supposed to go.

This is how I made my first "Friend". This is how I met Ominis Gaunt, the heir of Slytherin.

#fanfiction #ao3 writer #fanfic #fanfic writing #fanfics #hogwarts #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow x oc #sirencore #siren #siren oc #hogwarts legacy sebastian #hogwarts legacy game #hogwarts legacy fanfic #wattpad #wattpad writer #wattpad fanfic #harry potter #slytherin #slytherin house

[absolutebl]

what's your opinion on homophobic actors ? for example the love by chance cast and their scandal with earth? there might be other homophobic ones idk about but I was just using that as a example I still want you're overall thoughts! would you still watch their stuff? or follow them? or another example actors admiting they used bl as a way for clout some people think thats okay and its justified would you agree?

BL Actor Homophobia 

Oh boy. I don't really follow actor drama. Or I try not to. And I kinda don’t want do this, but I guess I should do a sort of official statement thingy. Since this fun silly side blog of mine has sort of gotten bloated and out of my control. 

Like the giant peach. 

ALT

In general, I think it's difficult to understand any celebrity's actual feelings on anything. 

 Sometimes it may not be safe for them to express their true opinion, because of image, brand, business, studio, agency, management, or family concerns or constraints. They may be more supportive or less supportive than we will ever know. Anything that approaches bullying is going to be even more complex because there are so many elements, perspectives, and entities involved. (Although I will always side with the victim.) 

With regards to interview, vlog, or variety show missteps and misspeaks, a lot of BL actors are BABIES, like so young. Tell me you didn't make a stupid fucking idiot statement when you were in your late teens and early 20s. Well, you CAN tell me you didn't, but I won't believe you. I certainly did. I was a pretty lousy human for a while. Queer af but still lousy. 

And a bunch of queers from other countries jumping in and attacking is surely going to change baby boy’s tiny mind... right? Yeah, no. No, it’s not. Multiple studies have shown that attacking someone only drives them into a corner and hardens their sentiments. 

Honestly? I don't think it's ever a good idea to make a hero out of an actor... they are, after all, ACTORS. I mean, come on, you must have meet some of the breed? 

Make a hero of the BL character he portrayed, certainly! But not the actor for goodness sake. He’s only an actor, after all. 

Celebrity turns people... odd. Or maybe it's just that the type of personality that seeks celebrity is innately suspicious? At least to this curmudgeonly introvert. (The fact that I all too often end up dating the fuckers is my terrible judgement and wicked bad taste.)

Where was I?

In most of these cases netizens take everything out of context, or at the very least hugely exaggerate. People pick camps. Yes there are certainly bad apples, but I think about this with kpop a lot, sometimes it's all shades of grey and no celebrity is as evil, or as good, as we want them to be. They're mostly just gloriously shiny narcissistic pricks (affectionate).

Particularly with something like homophobia, the context of identity (or identity erasure or abuse) is very culture specific. With BL we are often talking about places where, until recently, they didn’t even have a word for gay. I don't like to get outraged in general, it's exhausting. But to get outraged about something that some pretty kid said or did, in a language I don't speak, born and raised in a culture I did not grow up in, to a family dynamic I cannot comprehend?

It seems like, considering all the grey areas, I am not really equip to judge.

It's not the same thing, but I'm a long time melody and I often think about what happened to Ilhoon. As an outsider what he went through seems absolutely insane. But I've never lived in South Korea. What the hell do I know? I can only make a judgement call from my safe little nest where (currently) weed is legal and has been for ages. I guess, at the very least being in Kpop should have taught Ilhoon how to be careful enough not to get caught? 

And I guess that's were I do judge.

If the actor is homophobic (by any standards), and acts in BLs, at the very least he shouldn't have gotten his tiny hypocritical arse caught out, now should he? Tut tut on the brand management, fella. Practice a little circumspection. 

Oof. My cynic is showing.

Look, I’m not that bad, I’m just an old tired queer. We’ve been fighting a long time. Can’t I pass the buck (or blunt or cock) along? 

Mostly when one of these stories crosses my radar I just feel sad. And I don't wanna feel that way around BL (or Kpop for that matter), so I try not to even register it's happening. 

Here, you wanna get outraged, get outraged about this: 

ALT

There are major cultural issues in play here, and when this kind of thing happens to an idol on the streets of Seoul, I’d venture to say, there’s society wide systemic problems at the root of of this kind of homophobia, that the homophobe’s are manifesting - like symptoms of a disease. Sure you can treat the pox (with a damp wet white towel, perhaps?), but darlings don’t you think it’s about time we developed a vaccine? (And maybe I think that’s kinda what BL and pop culture can do to culture, if it gets normalized enough.) 

But currently, with these homophobic incidents? We all lose, and we are all to be pitied because of it. 

I love BL because it leads with love, and that’s the best I can practice at this point in my life. Try to talk more about positive BL dramas and less about negative BL actor drama. Try to be a little more loving and a little less outraged. 

That’s it, I don’t have a solution, sorry. Just... perseverance, I guess? su su na and all that.  

(source)

[a-tale-never-told]

What Am I Doing?

//I have to admit something: I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. Honestly, I'm trying to write something compelling yet definitive for this story, yet I feel like I keep constantly failing to even write a single ask or chapter that can be considered good now.

//And the worst part is: I don't even know why the chapters are like this. Was it something that I was doing wrong? The writing? The dialogue? All of the above? Am I a shitty writer? I DON'T KNOW! I seriously cannot comprehend what I'm even writing about.

//I think I know the reason why the writing is like this and why the quality has taken a nosedive: It's because I haven't planned this arc out, nor the ideas for future arcs as of writing this story. Whenever I have any interesting idea for an arc or story part that I wanna write, I instantly forget it the next day once I awaken. Maybe it's because of some cognitive brain disease that I can't remember, but when I wake up, I instantly lose all of the ideas that I once possessed.

//And another issue that I encountered is that I don't even know how to write an actual conversation between these characters anymore, let alone the more complex ones. The recent asks have some of the most bland, generic, characterization I've ever seen, and aside from bringing up Harumi in one ask and mentioning All Quiet On The Western Front in another, when has there been an ask that was ever written well?

//Sure, I'm receiving a lot of anonymous asks, but what's even the point of it if the writing isn't even that good to begin with? When had any conversation in this story felt actually realistic and well written, aside from a few instances? Another issue is that I cannot write every single character at once, as it is so fucking hard. I legitimately was confused about what I was writing, if this character was Hajime, Sonia, or Mahiru.

//I never expected to handle that many characters in this blog, but when I look at the All Eyes On Me arc from ASOOT( which is incredibly well written, by the way. I recommend you check it out) and when the New Future drops a new chapter, I look at my own and think "What am I even doing? The absolute lack of uniqueness for almost the rest of the characters and iconic personality traits makes the entire thing look poorly executed sludge, in my opinion.

//I'm not trying to constantly sound negative with these posts, but thanks to the crippling depression I have, I, unfortunately, go off into absolute self-loathing rants that I'd probably forget once I woke up the next morning. I apologize if I neglected to tell you that I suffer from depression earlier, but at least I gave you an explanation as to why I break down like this, as opposed to some people thinking that I'm a whiny little asshole.

//But the biggest issue for me is that after looking at everything and how each of my posts for the story was received, I came to a realization that I don't even know what I'm writing anymore: I can't write, at least not in this state. I don't even have the confidence to write a simple ask anymore, as I don't even know what I'm writing exactly.

//Honestly, 2023 is such a shit year for me, both on the story blog front and on the personal front as well, constantly struggling to pass heavy schoolwork, having issues to deal with, and my constant depression and memory loss are hurting my ability to even give you all compelling, quality level writing, and with a mental state like this, I don't even know what I'm even saying or talking about.

//I'm pathetic, a shitty writer, and I just... want to be left alone right now, okay? I just... need a lot of time to process my thoughts. Have a good rest of the evening everyone.

#mod talks #a tale never told

[izacore]

Honestly I don’t know why I was initially surprised to read that every venue for his residencies was an Azoff venue. Can’t miss a chance to book their cash cow, gotta pretend it’s all about amazing fans and record breaking sold out runs but really it’s fucking greedy. I’m sorry. I don’t expect the music industry to be great but this is how j feel about a lot of industries: af a certain point you’ve made enough money, you have. 100 million dollars is more money than any family would ever need and they will still want for nothing ever in their lives. What is the point of continuing to just earn earn earn beyond a certain level? Making an extra 50 million off of Harry isn’t going to make you able to time travel or something? God it just sounds so boring and I really can’t think of a reason beyond greed. Which sucks and I do not like people who live that way. All of that money should go to philanthropy and medical research and ending world hunger and a million other things more important than anything else you could possibly be doing with it. Some real Scrooge mcduck behavior smh.

Mhm, I cannot comprehend it either. As I've been saying, Harry’s one show could buy me a whole house here without putting me in debt for 30 years. There is absolutely no need for Harry’s prices to be the way they are and I think at some point a discussion and reevaluating of Harry’s values should be had too, because if freaking Ed Sheeran is able to keep ticket prices affordable, while still touring stadiums at a large scale, throwing shows with much, much better stage design, then so could Harry (if he had any backbone left). My hard to swallow pill is that Harry can be talking all he wants about being thankful to fans and being kind but as long as he is not showing that care and love for them (don't get me started on the poor management during his overcrowded shows and him not even trying to say anything to help with it - because I read that apparently it would make him/the team responsible if they acknowledged there was danger and they'd be risking money) then whatever he is saying is just empty words. He should be embarrassed to have set such high ticket prices and should put his money where his mouth is and show that gratitude to the fans that doesn't only mean people giving him their money.

#ask #anonymous #controversial #honestly what is harry even going to do with that money? #lbr he doesn't have life cause he spends it at work