#and I am both and neither

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

#i hate when people try to tell me i didn't do it right #what should i have done better #i did it ALL the right way #(not that there is a right way) #it's just that others feel comfortable believing that THEY did it the right way and that's how they made money #whereas i must have just committed a sin somewhere in there! i MUST be doing it wrong!!! #and i'm not a victim!!! im simply experiencing consequences! #and im like. where . where. wherewherewherewhere #i graduated top of my class. i was almost the student speaker. #i have always excelled at work and i work hard #i have been working since i was 13 #WHERE !!!!! IS MY FUCKING !!!! MONEY!!!!!! #ps please do not make the assumption i am ablebodied or neurotypical. #i am neither of these things. #it DOES get worse if u are either of those things. so fuckin much #but @ the one anon who was like ''u could be X that would be worse u don't know how lucky u are'' #.... don't i? #do i need to be luckier than someone else #or is it possible we are BOTH victims? #and that we need to work TOGETHER to resolve it #not just wave it off since it COULD be harder for someone else... it can be true we BOTH deserve better

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Alternative form of 'Hitting Wangxian with a Catboyification beam'

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #I don't have much more of an explanation to this other than 'i was struck by the vision and needed to create it' #They are both catboy coded. To me. On slightly different alignments of catboy but still. #LWJ is catboy: Fussy + bites and WWX is catboy: Stinky #Neither of them take well to being moved from their nap spot. #I love reading lying on my stomach and my cat just loves it. Hates being moved. We are locked in combat post any cuddle sessions. #I am a cat lover. I love them. They are Rotten little Stinkers. I love them #LWJ is like. *the* definition of 'cat that only likes those its in a bonded pair with. #The kind of cat that screams if it sees any neighborhood cats wandering outside. #wwx is a 'outdoor cat that wandered inside and became domesticated but NOT owned' kinda guy. #he is a menace on the local bird population and the only reason he's not dad to all the kittens is that he got fixed young. #UNLESS: the golden core transfer here was the balls (?) Animal control took JCs balls and WWX gave his up (????) #((I Also Don't Know What I'm Saying))

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: trauma / mind control / separation anxiety / autophobia / ]

Something that kills me is that there’s no way in hell that Raph’s debilitating separation anxiety isn’t infinitely worse after the movie. The trauma of being Krangified like that, all alone, would probably regress him so hard.

Not to mention his worries of getting “weird” would likely get mixed up with his experience while Krangified - aka, he loses full awareness, and when he’s brought “back” it’s to the understanding that he attacked his own family (of course not to his own fault at all, but how much of that does he believe?)

The fear of being alone would take on another layer and become a fear of himself.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #rise raph #trauma / #mind control / #separation anxiety / #autophobia / #codependency mention in tags / #after the invasion he checks up on the others multiple times and guiltily hopes one of them asks to stay with him for the night #he’s the big brother so it feels - wrong. to ask them to stay with him. #but his plushies don’t have heartbeats. and neither did the krang #and guiltily - guiltily - Raph is relieved when someones doing bad enough to stay with him each night #he doesn’t know it but the others see he needs it so they offer #man idk I just want Raph to be safe and happy #me having Raph feels at 3 am #I raise you: codependent Raph and Leo post invasion #they both dealt with losing the other #going from fighting and high tensions pre invasion to being scared to leave each others’ side post invasion #god wait this concept is so sad wait #but it works #may address this in a later post/fic ngl

[lgbtlunaverse]

How I feel about this and next week's dungeon meshi episodes

I'm already seeing people going at it and it's gonna get SO much worse next week when The Fight™ happens. I am so tired. I just wanna stare at my and marcille's hot dragon chicken wife. Is that too much to ask?

#dungeon meshi #falin touden #toshiro nakamoto #part of me is like eh whatever at a man getting the same treatment for getting 'in the way' of a wlw ship #that girls always get for 'threatening' an mlm ship #but at the same time HE'S NOT EVEN GETTING IN THE WAY OF ANYTHING?? BFFR RN THAT MAN IS NOT A THREAT TO FARCILLE let us all calm down #also i think the conflict between laios and toshiro is one of the best written conflicts where you understand both parties #and neither is fully in the wrong or right. and both of their experiences describe something marginalized people irl can deeply relate to #(autistic trauma on one hand and wheathering microagressions without speaking up bcs you don't want to Make A Scene on the other) #and i am NOT looking forward to seeing ppl flatten it into 'shuro's evil laios good bean' LET MY DUDES HAVE NUANCE

[ave-immaculata]

every Christian has come to Jesus through Mary actually

#listen i am working on being charitable i am trying my best but this is true #if you can say we are not saved without the cross we are not saved without the womb #(God was bound to use neither) (but He chose to use both) #im using object centric language but my intention is not to speak of Mary as an object etc disclaimers and so forth #Jesus came to us literally.. LITERALLY through Mary

[cinnamonsikwate]

"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White

#dungeon meshi #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing #shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy #i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society #pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred #it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms #shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character #his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point #they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms #shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely #anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills #to hash things out before they got too bad #re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her #she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self #alas not meant to be #i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me #i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him #marcille famously racist 😭 #characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged #practically everyone is casually racist at some point #anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery #he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭 #calemonsito notes

[dxmnsvoid]

what if i was a guy and a girl and both and neither at the same time (is exactly that)

#i can be both at the same time and i can be neither and i can be one or the other #but whatever i am i am always gay and liking me is always gay as well #void.mine #void.txt #void.void #void.nonhuman #void.mogai #nonhuman #voidkin #voidpunk #voidgender #voidflux #genderfluid #nonbinary #agender #bigender #cryptidkin #yeah idk anymore

[cozylittleartblog]

swatchvember prompt: Dress

...

it was the only dress i could get them to look cute in, AND i got to bring tasque manager into it 🥴 she wore that for the rest of the day

i will do serious fanart for one of these prompts i swear

#deltarune #swatch #tasque manager #swatchvember #i am a public nuisance 💖 #art #doodles #neither of you need to be wearing heels you're both so tall already it isn't fair #i see a dress i slap my 'FLUFFY UNDERCOAT' button at lightspeed #ok i need to go to bed this is silly and i hope it makes someone out there laugh #obligatory 'my swat uses they/them' tag for those who see it

[capn-twitchery]

i wanted a tiny colour ref grace to match twitch but the art styles didn't end up matching, oops!!! but they can still hang out on the canvas. it's fine

#he looks so small. help. how is this their real height difference. how is twitch so much Leg. their legs are almost as tall as his chest #their proportions are whack next to eachother and the different art styls do Not helpxD #i keep changing grace's colours CONSTANTLY bc my art has texture on it so i colour pick and get it slightly wrong each time #his hair keeps changing from light brown to blonde and his eyes kept changing from grey to green and back again #so i chose neither and he gets to be right in the middle of both bc i am a fence sitter #ok don't throw things at me i am going to bed i promise i just wanted to doodle 😌 #fred draws

[thekidsarentalright]

will never not make me insane how mania broke the mold for fob albums in so many ways but most prominently perhaps is how it broke the mold color wise, and the symbolism of that. it took the red/blue alternating color palette and combined it to make purple, it took everything fob was and in doing so went in a full different direction- something that was so clearly fob and so clearly new all at once, at least to those that were truly listening. and then, so much (for) stardust is just black and white. devoid of all true color- the light/dark dichotomy of the album is obvious from that alone. its take what every fob album did before color-wise but stripping it down- wholly new again, nowhere near the red/blue from before, but purely fob, not dressed up, its all out there in your face, black and white. the symbolism of colors here feels so so intentional and important and is forever so insanely clever of them

#and this doesnt even go into the actual red/blue color symbolism im just rambling here fjdndk #i think abt this all the time like color is everything when making. Anything. that people can look at #the album cover is the first thing you see it sets the mood for the whole entire album it is so so important and they KNOW THATTTT #like theyre telling u where theyre at before u even start the album. smfs is just Blatant and to me Free Because they didnt stick to any #resemblance of the red/blue. like mania was so important because its Both and smfs is so important bc its Neither do u get me. am i making #sense. makes me crazy nfkrnfkrm #txt

[forestofsprites]

to attempt to categorize aziraphale & crowley's actions into the simple dichotomies of 'correct' and 'wrong' or 'good' and 'bad' is to employ the exact same fallacy that the show warns of. throughout season two we see aziraphale struggle with morals and their ambiguity, no matter crowley's assertion (and demonstration) that there is no true 'good', no true 'evil'- that the lines are not only blurred but frankly non-existent- aziraphale can't move past the principles he was raised on. good actions are good (inherent to angels, inherent to heaven), evil actions are evil (inherent to demons, inherent to hell). aziraphale's decision to try to 'fix' heaven is the perfect representation of the reality of the universe. he believes it to be a simply good decision, something angels do and heaven is all about (he'll get heaven back to normal! back to being good!) but the reality of his decision is so much murkier than that. it isn't that aziraphale did something bad or evil, nor is it that he did something correct or good, he did something that, like many things in the universe, embodies both.

#i haven't done meta in a year guys i am so sad and rusty #i just mean that #you can't define the show that seeks to reject the good/evil fallacy by employing that fallacy to denote their actions #i mean absolutely aziraphale thinks he is being good. he made that choice in the faith that it was a good one. something inherent to him #as an angel #but that decision was never so clear cut. there was no right or wrong within it. he was given a choice and he chose it #it's not going to achieve what he thinks it will. it isn't the path to his happiness #and i definitely think crowley is closer to that path in terms of understanding the reality of heaven and hell- good vs evil #but neither are simply right or wrong #neither is a simply good or simply bad option #the whole point is an 'us' #a middle ground #an understanding that choices and actions are not good or bad or wrong or right. they're just choices. they're inherently made with a bit #of both #good omens #good omens s2 #good omens season two #good omens spoilers #rambling #that tag hasn't been used in sooo long #good omens meta #good omens rambling

[ineed-to-sleep]

I'm watching Berserk and I may or may not have hyped myself up to turn my vampire ocs into dark fantasy characters. mmaybe

#sketch tag #so uh. pepper is kind of a guts basically jdjgkckkc #they're both in an army and they butt heads a lot bc pepper is big and stronk but very impulsive and reckless #but there's no griffith situation or anything like that it's just that vince worries abt her #and he's way more restrained as a fighter and a strategist. maybe a commander or second in command #and just like in vtm he's very paranoid and afraid of change. so he worries abt her and is also unhappy in the army but too scared to leave #so he broods a lot and mopes around and gets on her ass abt her recklessness #and just like in vtm pepper is impulsive and has a lot of pent up frustration and she uses the battlefield to release all of it #sometimes overexerting herself and nearly getting herself killed #she also wants to leave bc she's not sure she believes in what they're fighting for anymore. but then she loses her coping mechanism #things change when they have an argument where he reveals he cares abt her sjfjjfkf YES very cliche I am thriving #and she's dismissive at first but after being alone for a bit his words start sinking in #and when they're on a battlefield again there's a moment where they have to retreat and she's about to absolutely not listen to that #but then she has a change of heart bc she remembers what he said + she cares abt him too so she doesn't want him to be hurt by her actions #neither by him getting worried nor trying to come to her aid and putting his life at risk #so she retreats #and he's very happy abt that he thanks her later for what she did #and then she's like yeah sure I guess I didn't die but also guess what. I'm bored #everything she wanted to release back there she just didn't. so she's still frustrated and especially bc she had to admit defeat #and she's an extremely proud person. she's irritated #and he's like aight. I'm gonna fight you then #and she's like what. and he's like yeah #so he picks up a sword and throws another one to her and there's a *sexual tension play-fight* hell yeah babey #I'm having sm fun w this au can you tell jejfjckckkc #eventually they do desert the army they're in bc things get worse and pepper decides she no longer wants to be a part of it #and in a fight or flight moment she pushes vincent to make a decision and he leaves with her #and like the story is only getting started there bc then there'll be some big misteries in the story they're gonna uncover #which. I haven't figured out what they are yet #but either way akhhdskfha I'm having a lot of fun w this #sleep.txt

[electric-plants]

traveler: so who’s the nice one in your relationship?

alhaitham and cyno at the exact same time: he is

#traveler: :/ #genshin impact #haino #cytham #cyhaino #genshin incorrect quotes #alhaitham #cyno #gi traveler #you make think neither of them is but you would be wrong #they’re both the nice one😌 #alhaitham is a sweetie yes you can fight me on this i have receipts #and cyno is also obviously a sweetie #but i also think both of them are like: no i am too strict and unapproachable and blunt to be considered nice #which! is! wrong! #i have been Thinking about them lately #haino incorrect quotes

[extraordinarilyextreme]

天台上谈心...... (a heart-to-heart on the rooftop)

please i need more people to watch 《异人之下》 I Am Nobody 😭😭😭

i believed i was invincible until i met you. in an instant, everything i had ever known came crumbling down. you changed my world utterly; you altered my fate. “我也很喜欢你这个人”； “我喜欢他不假。”

vs

i left the secular world behind because i couldn't find meaning in the struggles of the day-to-day. i didn't understand the point of forming attachments, yet you took the initiative to approach me anyway. because of you, i had the courage to descend from my lofty perch, and find my own place among mortals.

rivals to best friends; two of the most promising sorcerers of their generation; a popular idol descended from Zhuge Liang himself and the wealthy third son of one of the most powerful families in the country who left home to become a Taoist.

"The kind of person that I am - I detest getting entangled with trouble. But if you really have any trouble, I'll help. To say I'll risk my life for you sounds kind of fake. But as long as it's within my power, I'll definitely help you." "Ah, go away, go away! I shouldn't befriend people like you; I can't have any secrets! Can't you let me remain mysterious?" "But I want to be friends with you." ep. 15

the only two people who are able to see and experience the world in the same way.

#异人之下 #i am nobody #zhuge qing #wang ye #这俩的宿命感，也不假。 #also when i say “altered my fate” i mean that Wang Ye LITERALLY altered Zhuge Qing's fate #they both feel apologetic to each other; yet neither believes the other owes them anything #i really can't wait for their relationship to evolve in season two

[eregar]

i love enver so much but i think the most satisfying end for him is one where he's killed by the elder brain. it’s just got the bones of a good tragedy.

like: enver was born an unloved child, vilified for being needy and sold into slavery where he was beaten and abused for years. when he escapes, he wants to ensure that he never again finds himself in a position of such powerlessness and does this by acquiring the qualities of the man who subjugated him (money, status, underlings, an ability to view people as pawns) and starts perpetuating the same abuse he was victimized by. he gets worse and worse as time goes on, his pursuit no longer about preventing his own victimization but about the pleasure of being the one to victimize others. the pleasure of being the one in control. he ends up fulfilling the role of villain that his parents assigned to him as a little boy.

then, at the climactic moment of his plot, the moment where he is so close to absolute power, it's revealed that he was never the one in control. not really. the brain was only allowing him the illusion of control until he'd served his purpose. he was its puppet. his final moments are the realization that, because of his cruelty? hubris? fear? he had come full circle back to a position of powerlessness. this is his fatal flaw.

it's got satisfying narrative symmetry. you can play it a dozen times and he’s doomed in every one. but maybe you get the faint hope that this time it’ll be different. it’s good i like it.

#bg3 spoilers #sorry if this reads as a bunch of gort apologia #i don’t think enver can be redeemed in an adequate way when you center the needs of his victims #but i am interested in the ways a villain can be both evil and tragic with neither cancelling the other one out #greg texts

[ryssbelle]

If you can't handle me at my silliest you don't deserve me at my most refined 😘

#my art #self portrait #comic #meme #trolls #its true tho #cuz you cant have one without the other with me #i am both and neither all at the same time #its a package deal #so either accept me as a whole or skedaddle #those of you who do stay for my insanity are the real ones #i appreciate you #and send all my love #💖💖💖 #you are the reason i keep arting #and being epic