#and I am guessing a lot of you are too

[egophiliac]

You can’t pick Lilia for this. But who is your other favorite short character in Twst?

I like the angry little king boy 🌹

#art #twisted wonderland #sorry epel and ortho i like you guys a lot too! #oh and grim i guess #wait how many other shorties are there in twst #anyway i have a lot of affection for episode 1 and for riddle's character arc #he is a terrible little bastard who is trying very hard to be a slightly less terrible little bastard #and i have feelings about his friendships with trey and cater and che'nya especially! #and how that relates to his upbringing and his dumpster fire of a mom and uhhhhhh you know. everything. #i don't know how to do the words about all the thoughts i have on fictional characters #me waving my hands frantically in the air: it's about LOVE and wanting to be LOVED this is what twst is ABOUT -- #(i am dragged bodily offstage by my collar)

[barbieburnanator]

THERE'S A WOLF GIRL IN FE ENGAGE?!?!?!? WITH A WOLF FRIEND AND HER OWN TAIL?!?!?!!! AND NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT HER??!!!?!?!

#fe engage #merrin #fe merrin #fire emblem engage #my art #I just got her in my party last night and when I tell you my inner child screamed. My 12 year old self wishes they could be her #I have mixed feelings about this game #at first I had a hard time getting into it #and there's still A LOT I can't get into especially the story #but some of these later characters are really neat #I think a lot of the outfits are too much too #but I dunno. I'm starting to get into I guess #which is saying something cause I am a big bitch if I don't like something

[batfamhyperfixation]

On Tim's Boat

*Tim and Bernard are laying in bed sleeping, limbs entangled as Bernard sleeps on Tim's chest*

*at 3:47am Bernard is awoken*

Bernard, swatting Tim as he is squinting in the dark: Hey grasshopper? Is that a sleep paralysis demon-

Tim, shifting slightly, eyes still shut, basically sleepy mumbling: you wouldn't be hitting me, you'd be paralyzed

Bernard: then I think someone is stealing clothes from our closet

Tim, running his hand through Bernard's hair so Bernard knows he is listening: don't know why, we are the pits of fashion, they should be stealing from Sophie and Louie's closet, or even Tammy and Lauren's closet

Bernard: is that... Robin?

Tim, wide awake now, swiveling his head towards the closet: WHAT?

Damian, standing there in a Robin outfit looking through their clothes in the closet, gathering a pile on his arm: Your father wants you to call him, Drake

Bernard: Robin works for Bruce? Actually, that's not surprising.

Robin, walking out with a pile of clothes on his arm: I am confiscating these *walks out the door*

Bernard:

Tim:

Bernard:

Tim:

Bernard: Guess you could say he was... Robin us.

Tim: You're lucky I love you

Edit: Part 2

#Bernard: did Robin seem a lot shorter to you? there has to be multiple robins cause i swear the marina robin is a lot taller #Tim: *sweats nervously* #i love the 'damian suprisingly loves hand-me-down clothes from his siblings' hcs so just him stealing clothes from his siblings #but he didnt realize bernard and tim were living together and therefore have the same closet so he also stole bernards clothes #dont worry i am making a part two of this for when Bernard finds out Damian has been accidentally stealing his clothes too #tim drake #damian wayne #bernard dowd #timbern #timber #i had to make them cuddling cause you know that is the only way they would both have incentive to go to bed other than like... passing out #that is the only way to not have them in a fully dead sleep cause they passed out from exhaustion cause they both have poor sleep schedules #Tim's is like 'i go out as robin every night so i dont sleep at night' and Bernard's is like 'I let my whims take me where they must #and if that is a 13 hour frantic rabbithole about mothman that keeps me from sleep then i wont sleep that night i guess' #but if they cuddle they wont start other things and will fall asleep talking and tim will just be like *montone* 'oh no guess I wont patrol #tonight. oh well its been slow anyway' and he actually goes to sleep so your honor i had to make them cuddling for the sake of storytelling

[wombywoo]

hello! do u draw the maps and diagrams in the backgrounds on ur art by urself or do u use pre existing images or smth :0?

(like the map in ur most recent gaz work)

Haha, hell no! I could never have the patience or skill for that 🙆‍♀️ Most of my backgrounds for the latest COD art have been collage work. So for the Gaz one--I found a bunch of images through google and rearranged them how I wanted through mostly trial and error. yeah, if I had to draw a whole map of London by hand..💀

All these ones have backgrounds made through collage:

#asks #it's actually kinda hilarious that people think I draw the backgrounds 😅 #my dudes #do you know how much time that would take 🙃🙃 #gotta prioritize my pretty boys 'cause that's all I'm good for #I even showed my husband the gaz one #and he thought I drew the bg too #which I guess means he has a lot of faith in me 😂😂 #I am simply a scrapbooker at heart~

[bananonbinary]

as a certified Diagnosed Autist(TM) i cannot stress enough that i am not only pro- self-diagnosis, but also pretty anti- legal medical diagnosis. it is, at best, a cruel hoop we have to jump through so privileged people will deign to give us what we need. don't fucking do that shit unless you have to, it was disgustingly expensive, fucking humiliating, infantilizing, and dehumanizing, and would probably actively cause problems in my life if i didn't have some really good allistic (-passing) people in my corner and also wasn't so fucking disabled that it mostly doesn't matter.

literally get that diagnosis if you need it for job/school accessibility shit or SSI or whatever, and otherwise dont tell the government SHIT about yourself. there is zero good reason for them to want that information. that's between you and the people you want in your life.

#as a side note: this goes for gender too #dont fucking get a special marker on your passport or whatever #trying to get ssi has made me realize how deeply cruel the system is #never reveal any vulnerability you have unless it's absolutely necessary #do not do this stuff for validation the government is not your friend and you should seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere #hm this post turned out a lot angrier than i meant #guess i'm still mad about how awful the process was #it wasnt even long it was just. so *impersonal.* #this woman talked to me for two hours. went down a fairly bigoted checklist. #didnt ask me my own opinion on much of anything. and then declared a bunch of her impressions as if they hold weight just bc shes allistic #like how i have 'identity issues' (am trans and dont want a romantic partner) #and thats just. my permanent record of diagnosis! this two hour conversation with a stranger! she doesnt fucking know me #we paid like $500 for that

[dizzybizz]

😀 i love setting out to draw 1 character multiple times but ending up drawing multiple characters 1 time instead 😀 i love it so much 😀

#honestly the qi rong is still my fav.... first one i did.. its jsut so yummy to me ok #the he xuan too.. other two can go fuck off for all i care #i only care for the left side of this canvas #also i feel like i channeled my mbj design while trying to draw he xuan 😔 i cant help it--- like theyre both nonhumans with black n blue #color schemes in my head and.. yeah.. imean he xuan is water and mobei-jun is ice it makes sense in my mind #but also imagining that he xuan design absolutely tearing into food is cracking me up.. i just need to draw him enjoying a nice meal fr.. #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #the four calamities #qi rong #hua cheng #he xuan #bai wuxiang #my art #me @ everyone: you get long pointy ears 🥰🥰🥰. (gets to bwx) ... not you tho 🥰🥰🥰 #i should draw every tgcf i want to so bad #you will never guess who my favs are i am so not predictable i am so unpredictable you would never see it coming you would never guess im s #i feel like i havent done a lot of tgcf posting on here tho.... . i mean my initial hyperfixation on it was last year i believe?? #but i never really stopped thinking about adghasdhgahdjhafa

[aropride]

u can literally talk abt ur own experiences with transphobia and people being violent or bigoted or cruel towards you because you're a trans man and people will compare you to deranged conspiracy theorists for daring to say you might experience discrimination. it's fucking crazy like what level of internet brainrot do you have to have to think it's helpful on any level to deny someone's experiences and call them conspiracy theorists because they're a trans man and "men aren't oppressed" or whatever

#text #and also telling transmascs to shut up abt our experiences w transphobia In Conversations Abt Transphobia is crazyyyy #we are trans too. #i see a lot of trans men/transmascs echoing this out of i guess like ??? #idk i think it comes from combination of self doubt + being Online + wanting to not be transmisogynistic but like.. #its not transmisogynistic to talk abt ur experiences with transmasc oppression #& like ur experiences are 'valid' i know thats a stupid word but yknow what i mean #inb4 'wow tmes only problems are people being mean online shut up cuntboy' -__- This post is about a specifically online problem #people generally do not act like this in real life bc theres some level of needing to be decent to other people face to face 😭 #there are also other offline problems. lots of them. & im not saying this doesnt happen offline either but . YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYING #WHY AM I ENTERTAINING IMAGINARY BAD FAITH INTERPRETATIONS OF THIS POST #anyway this is about the term 'transandrophobia truther' do not derail ❤️ #transandrophobia #transphobia #discourse

[macadam]

Fully of the belief that Miko is only seen as an annoying character because of the dynamic between her and Jack.

Miko in isolation isn’t an annoying character. She’s reckless, and unwise, and has to be bailed out of trouble every five seconds, but this isn’t really an issue for any of the bots because as far as they’re concerned, this is Normal Human Behaviour™. They are constantly having to work with and around humans or bail them out of trouble.

Bulkhead adores Miko. He is exasperated by her like a parent is of their toddler, sure, but I wouldn’t say he is annoyed by her in any way. Her interaction with wheeljack is another example. When she exists with the bots by herself, she doesn’t come across as burdensome. She’s just limited, as every human is, by the curse of being small.

It’s only through her interactions with Jack, and his continuous challenging and calling out on her behaviour, that Miko becomes an annoying character. Frankly, it’s the tension between them which annoys the audience. We can only watch the same cyclical bickering between children before it gets old.

I have noticed that there actually are a lot of people who do like Miko, and find Jack super annoying instead. It seems like people pick one or the other depending on how you interpret which one is causing the tension. When I watched tfp as a kid, I loved Miko and hated Jack. Like, hated hated him. Because I saw Miko as a fun punk rock kid and Jack as the one needlessly calling her out. Upon rewatching tfp as an adult (who works with kids a lot) I related far more to Jack, and so the situation flipped; I saw Miko’s actions as more frustrating to watch.

The writers did eventually try to fix this, with the one heart-to-heart scene between Miko and Jack. But it was kind of rushed, and didn’t leave any lasting change to their dynamic. They went right back to arguing.

Tldr: Miko and Jack are annoying together. Fans usually pick one of em as the cause to be annoyed at but honestly, they are both fine on their own. Children bickering is annoying even in a fictional cartoon lmao

#as promised #I know a lot of people like to rant about her but tbh her character had so much potential to be a fan favourite #she is so silly #and frankly no more incompetent than any other human. like. they are ants #jacks caused problems from not listening too he just doesn’t get chewed out for it enjeieiwjwjje #I guess the conclusion from this can either be they’re both fun characters OR they both suck #mac thinks too much #maccadam #transformers #transformers prime #Jack Darby #miko nakadai #tfp #woooow another post talking about Miko very original #I’m sorry ok when the brain worms speak to me I have to give them voice #I am only human. what do you want from me #I have never. not once. promised quality on here

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.” #and that made sense to me i think. #but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing. #and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much. #and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology. #i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now. #and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be?? #i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe. #will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore?? #maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know. #i don't know what it'll mean for me. #but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed. #because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people. #peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing. #there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing. #it's a product of all of his things. #just like me! just like everyone. #so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways. #a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be. #i don't think it's something that can be simplified. #sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags. #i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual. #sci speaks

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Those Beyond The Wall

sequel/companion to The Space Between Worlds, set a decade later

character-focused sci-fi set in an area divided in two, the rich protected city on one side and everyone else in the post-apocalyptic desert

follows a woman who works under the Emperor in Ashtown, keeping the peace

when mangled bodies start showing up with seemingly no murderer, she’s tasked with finding the cause, and finds out that it’s the result of corruption spanning both cities and multiple worlds

explores oppression and messy revolution, police violence and apartheid

bi & polyamorous MC

#Those Beyond The Wall #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #space between worlds sequel!!! honestly I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it….. In general I enjoyed it and I think it had #a lot of important things to say but also maybe highlighted some weaknesses(?) in both books? #or - I guess just the fact that the sff stuff (which skews a little more magicy here) is kinda small scope relative to its potential #and more there to serve the plot and characters. Which actually maybe is the point. idk- there's def mixed reviews lol #it has a messy unlikable MC (like actually - when half the weak ass reviews are saying the MC is annoying you know they are Actually a #complex character) and some interesting relationship dynamics #it is pretty solidly a sequel - I wouldnt read this without reading TSBW #cara does show up in here& tbh her characterisation felt quite different to me? unsure how I feel about that? but maybe it's the biased POV #also to be clear: polyam MC; not a polyam romance or anything #(there's - kinda a romance? or various feelings floating around and she 'ends up' with someone. feel like i would have liked that to end #more subtley but that's probably my personal taste lol) #man some of the 1 star reviews of this are kinda.....just racist though. can we get some measured critique in here #as I said i am not entirely sure how I feel about it but not quite in a way I can articulate.... idk! i think it's worth the read tho #it's maybe one of those revolutions that feels solved a little too easily in the end - but then also is it solved or is it just that the #narrative has to end at a certain point

[bigkickguy]

magna medical

#kickdraw #fear and hunger #uhh ask to tag? i don't think me slapping the default brush around and being too lazy to render blood counts as anything but idk #magna medical is a cool skill thematically - i love it so much #honestly I like the idea that the discarded limb is still alive and transformed into the party member you try to revive? #but drawing that includes less visual context so we're back to 'sacrifice limb to big life god and bring back your friend' #'friend' doing a lot of work in that last bit lol #i shant tag this as pairing art... unless..... #i was going to draw them kissing but here we are i guess - i am the clown here hkfjghadkfgfadg

[non-un-topo]

My Neekeys over the last two-odd years. I was curious to see the changes 🤔

#forgive the low quality dfghfds it was just an experiment #now to do the DRAW ANYONE ELSE challenge #siggy draws #he is my blorbo. my muse. i guess #don't get me wrong. i am CRINGING and SWEATING at just the thought of uploading this. #have i been drawing almost every day my entire life? yes. does my style still change all the time? yes! #and i'm mostly self-taught so i struuuuggle a lot. i'll finally admit that reference pictures help immensely. no shit lol. #i learned a lot in the last 2 years!!! there are some really ugly ones i didn't show but i kept the cringe old ones sdfghfds help. #i mean they're still here on tumblr so i can't exactly hide them #you can kind of see when i actually started to use reference pictures. and when i got more used to using a tablet #idk digital art is so hard. it's a whole other world. but i'm in it now and haven't drawn traditionally in forever #i can also literally see how i used to CRUSH my nibs while drawing. all those really thin lines?? i pressed too hard lol #i've actually kept all my nibs since i started drawing digitally and....... it's too many fghfds #that one slightly more realistic nicky in the bottom right of the first collage lmaooo. i should finish him... maybe... it's haaard. #the top right on the first collage and bottom right on the second one are good comparisons ;_; they're both pirate!nico gifts for lily!! #i'm feeling sentimental now omg

[beanghostprincess]

Sabo still struggles with memory loss. He had his childhood back, of course, he remembers Ace and Luffy and everything they did together. But he doesn't remember some stuff. Some anecdotes Luffy tells oh so excitedly? He can't recall that those happened. And if he does, it's all blurry and never at all like Luffy says. But he never says anything because that would break his brother's heart, to know his older brother isn't fully back with him, so he nods and smiles and pretends he knows what Luffy is talking about every time.

His room is filled with Post-it notes. Stupid, really. Dumb stuff. But he has all the meetings he needs to remember and the missions he has to do, along with everything he wants to write down at some point properly. The walls are covered in pictures of the people he loves (Luffy, Ace, Koala, Robin... All the others that have ever meant something to him because he refuses to forget somebody again).

He keeps writing dumb stuff down. Anything. He refuses to forget. He denies the possibility of doing it again.

But he forgets. Sabo keeps forgetting important dates. Important parts of his life, like his past with his brothers (he forgets a random adventure they had that he swore he had talked about the day prior) and crucial things he has to do. He has a hard time picturing his memories. Putting them in his brain. Turning them into images. Saying it's frustrating is a huge understatement.

Koala helps him out, of course. She's hard on him so he finishes his paperwork, but she knows it's difficult sometimes. She's his personal calendar and diary. She informs him of what he has to do during the week and always tries to talk and talk about anecdotes that she knows he still remembers but knows he loves to hear again.

His mental health isn't the best either, but he refuses to acknowledge it. There's a revolution at hand, he can't stop working. And fighting. And doing more and more and more. But sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes he goes into depressive episodes he can't control, and the medication is either addicting or the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Sometimes he's a bit too intense. Koala says he needs to calm down, that he has a problem with his fixation on the revolution and his past. Sabo keeps saying that it's fine. But he sometimes forgets or has blurry images of the fights and the people he has killed, filled with energy and excitement and like he has the power of a God. He doesn't like those. Enjoys the moment. Hates to forget it. Hates to know what he did during it too, even if it was for a good cause. Despises the look Koala gives him, also. Makes her promise not to tell Luffy about all of this.

But it's fine, he keeps saying. Sabo will keep trying to never forget anything ever again.

#hello i am very sad #i struggle with memory loss because of depression and shit and i thought wow yOU KNOW WHO ELSE STRUGGLES WITH MEMORY LOSS??? #this post is kind of like 'guess the disorder' type of thing #it's bipolar disorder btw i just didn't get too much into it #i mean i think sabo is bipolar that's a personal headcanon of mine #which btw the only info i know about it is deep research and two years of psychology in high school #something something i wanted to know if i was bipolar bc i haven't gone to therapy in........... uh.... a while. but i highly doubt it #now i just have a lot of info #anywayyy got real dark real quickly right #sabo i love you i don't want to hurt you but you're just so angst material #one piece #revolutionary sabo #koala one piece #asl brothers #monkey d. luffy #tw mental instability #tw depression #tw medication

[cookinguptales]

Do me a favor, okay? Next time you have a chance, close your eyes for a minute and take a deep breath and imagine someone loving you.

Imagine someone who gets excited just thinking about you. Imagine someone who loves the things you say and do and who genuinely enjoys spending time with you. Imagine someone who feels lucky every moment they get to be around you.

It can be a real person or someone you just made up. You can imagine them praising you or laughing with you or touching you or whatever love means to you. It can be romantic or otherwise. Take your pick.

And if you had a hard time doing it?

Do it again. And again. And again.

I read once that it’s important for us to visualize being loved. That your brain needs to be trained like a muscle, and like a muscle, it can become weak from disuse. Your brain can only do the things that you practice doing, and if you never, ever visualize someone loving you, it becomes difficult to even imagine someone loving you. You get stuck in a rut. And once it’s impossible to imagine someone loving you, it becomes impossible to believe you will ever be loved.

I think… sometimes it can become easy to stop believing that we’re worthy of love. And I think sometimes we have this fantasy of someone making us believe that we’re worthy of it again. Or that somehow we’ll just — earn it, one day. Being worthy of love and desire, respect and affection.

But I think the truth is that we can only start believing that we’re worthy of love if we’re capable of imagining it. And it becomes much, much easier to imagine it if you practice doing so.

It may feel awkward at first. Embarrassing. Silly. Maybe even painful. But think about it like this, maybe: your first day in a dance class, you’ll fall. You’ll look ridiculous. It’ll feel like your body will never be able to do this fluidly. But by the end of the class, you’ll be able to move in a whole new way. Maybe not perfectly, but… better, y’know?

Learn to waltz with your own mind, and try not to cringe too hard at your first awkward movements. Start small and work your way up if you have to. Someone liking you, then someone liking your conversations, then someone liking your presence, then someone purposefully seeking you out. Someone putting time aside for you. Someone thinking about you when you’re not there. Someone being with you because there’s nowhere they’d rather be.

It may feel self-indulgent, but… I mean, we all deserve to be indulged sometimes. And we all deserve to feel worthy of love.

So… indulge yourself. Take a moment and have a silly little fantasy. Get into the habit of imagining love, and imagining it for the you that exists right now, not the you that you wish you were.

Learn to speak the language of love as it applies to you, even if you think that it doesn’t, and one day you’ll realize how to use those syllables to say your own name.

It’ll come one day. In the meantime, let’s learn to dance together, okay?

#personally... #I mean I am disabled and I am not conventionally attractive #I have PTSD now from the kind of childhood abuse that makes you feel... broken I guess #so I have spent an awful lot of my life finding it difficult to imagine truly being loved #when there are so many 'easier' choices in this world it is hard to imagine someone picking me #so believe me when I say I know it's hard #but I also know that I closed myself off to love once I stopped being able to imagine people doing it #I lost the vocabulary for people loving me so when people did it I could no longer describe it #I didn't notice or worse - it stressed me out #but... I have started doing this visualization exercise and it does help #sometimes I have a spark of... well yes this person in this fantasy does deserve to be loved #and I am that person #so there's a spark of hope to it #hope can be good and hope can be bad but... I guess it's necessary too isn't it? #so let's do our best to make our brains stfu when they're being mean and instead focus on self-love

[zecoritheweirdone]

hey guys,, who wants to see this new dsmp au i've thought up of instead of working on my other countless, already existing aus.

still trying to come up with a proper name for it,,, right now the working title is shattered reflections...? buuuut i'm not too content with that yet.

the basic plot is, via ~wacky shenanigans~,, ranboo, tommy, and tubbo,, all from different universes,, end up getting misplaced together in the multiverse or something like that, and now have to hop from dimension to dimension, trying to find their way back to their respective homes(and maybe they'll find that the real home was the friends they made along the way).

still need to iron out a few kinks(how did this start, how do they travel, how does it end, etc etc),, but like. it's been rotting in my brain ever since the idea first came to my head, so i figured i might as well share it here? in case anyone else's interested,, dkdnsksms.

ranboo's from a magical girl-like au!!! why? mostly because i thought the idea was fun,, ekenkssjks. tried my best to emulate an anime style into the design, 'm hoping it came across? i've been imagining, if this au were animated like spiderverse,, they'd look a lot like how peni parker was animated,, dkdmskdm. you'll never guess what his magical girl form is themed on /lh.

tommy, as you can prolly tell, is from a royalty au! youngest prince of the antarctic empire,,, design is slightly based on some fanart i saw on reddit, by someone called em0kii, i believe? i say slightly because i only thought to search up "antarctic empire fanart" for inspo after i was done with the lineart,, and by that time it was too late for me to change it to something that better fit the cold environment the kingdom's based on(and by too late i mostly mean i was lazy),,, dkdjskj. still, though, i'm pretty happy with it!

and then there's tubbo! he's from a post-apocalyptic au B]. not one with zombies,, but... idk, maybe something exploded? haven't thought too hard about the cause, but just know that his world is in a not good shape. i'm sure it's fine tho. my main thoughts when drawing him were to make him less colorful and saturated than the other two,, since his universe is a bit darker than theirs,,,, and to make him look a little intimidating(big coat, goggles, scarf, lots of sharp edges, plaid). after all, if you're a 5' something teen in the apocalypse, living all on your own– you wanna try and make yourself look as big as possible to try and ward off as many threats as you can. and if that doesn't work, you can always just hit 'em with a bat.

bonus doodle under the cut:

tfw you wake up in the middle of a forest, with no memory of getting there, with two weirdly dressed strangers right there beside you. like. what the fuck.

#my art #shattered reflections au #dream smp #ranboo #ranboo fanart #tommyinnit #tommyinnit fanart #tubbo #tubbo fanart #if you like this i would really appreciate it if you rbed it;; and/or tell me your thoughts 👉👈 #i have a lot of ideas for it that i'd love to share! #mostly holding back to see if there's any interest for it; first;; wouldn't wanna just shout into the void;; kdkmdkdmd #also honestly. no clue why i chose to make tubbo's jacket plaid #it felt empty and i guess that was the first thing i came up with to fill the space #i have wayyy too many wips on hand to try and focus on a full multi-chap for this #(plus i don't have a full plan for this au yet; anyway) #but i am tempted to maybe do a couple oneshots; if i ever get the motivation/inspiration #so if anyone here is interested in that;; let me know;; sksnksnsks #anyway– hope you guys enjoyed!!! take a cookie -> 🍪

[shiikiyun]

Futa Kajiyama and Remorse

by someone that would hit him in the head if they had the chance

The discussion over whether Futa's shown remorse over his actions is genuine or not is something that has existed for years at this point, and it'll probably always be a debate. Just thought I'd give my personal take on it.

Starting off by saying that it is very ironic that a huge part of the discussion on his character and crime is how genuine he is when he admits fault, considering his case is entirely related to social media, almost like how when public figures online mess up and everyone else picks apart their apologies and rate the sincerity of them (not saying it's a bad thing, influencers will explode before handing a good apology, i just thought it was funny to point out). That aside, let me actually talk about him.

First, what did he do? In short, he began a witch-hunt campaign and doxxed a middle-schooler over a claim with no basis that said kid tried to reason with him over and he ignored, (pressumably) pushing her to suicide. Fucked up. Very understandable unforgiven veredict in the first trial, since his denial of his actions was so strong, he had it coming for sure.

Now, his feelings around his crime. It's said a lot that he doesn't feel sorry for his victim, that he only feels anxious and "guilty" because he's facing consequences and he's scared of dying, so he'll do anything to avoid that (so; admit fault, even if he doesn't believe he was wrong). And he is stubborn, so it's not crazy to see it that way, but—

Does he really not care?

From the way I see it, Futa is telling the truth when he says he never intended her to die. Personally, I would "should've thought about it twice then?" 'd him if I could, but I can't in good faith call him disingenuous for saying he didn't want it to end that way.

People don't take their actions on social media seriously. This happens all the time. People will say they most cruel things to strangers over minimal disagreements, and they don't consider it to be that damaging because "it's just social media". Futa is no different than that.

He got a power trip from the praise he received after he called out a teacher for sexual harrassment (which is obviously an actually fair reason to dunk on someone), took it too far over something mundane, and it actually had real life consequences on an innocent person. And he knows this. He's always known. The very moment he realizes what he did is when he's horrified of himself and is visibly shocked— He didn't want this. But he did it, and now there's blood on his hands.

To call that reaction disingenuous, or relate those feelings solely to the fact that he's facing consequences now, is completely ignoring that it happens before he's aware about receiving backlash from his friends.

That's where his anxiety comes from. He's always known he fucked up awfully. When ES insists on him being a murderer, what makes him stutter and show fear is that same word. He's a murderer, and he can't cope with that, but he knows what he did no matter how much he denies it. From the very beginning all Futa has been is a coward; unable to accept that his actions killed someone until he gets some sense literally beat up on him.

Now, this is where I drift onto something even more people might disagree with, but personally I think it's intentional. The representation of his victim, in both MVs.

Because Futa saw no difference between her and other people him and his friendgroup judged, firstly, she's shown as a videogame monster. Her silhouette changes to a more human-like one when he realizes she died, but that's about it. It shows more of his attempt at dettaching from what he did, refusing to see things for what they are.

But then Backdraft came and totally changed that.

I have to bring up the other 2 monsters to make my point clearer. Like I said, in Jihen Joutou, Futa pictures all of his targets as monsters. In Backdraft, the first 2 remain the same style, but Killcheroy changes.

isn't she adorable, by the way?

Unlike the other two, she's a completely different art style. Cartoony, cute, childish. Because Futa finally got to a point where he can't separate his actions from himself anymore, and had to recognize to have played part in her death, we see his victim for what she is—

A middle schooler.

Of course, her straight up appearing would've been enough to convey that, but the addition of making her character different (innocent, friendly, harmless) further shows how Futa does recognize that he hurt a child that ultimately wasn't doing anything wrong.

And, lastly, and this is entirely personal and where even More people might not agree: I just don't he's lying. I don't think he's trying to manipulate anyone into thinking he feels remorse just to get relief. I believe him when he says he knows what he did was wrong and he regrets doing it, that he wouldn't do it again. And I also understand (and agree) when he says ES, and us by extent, are doing the same.

People in the fandom like to act like he's crazy in the head (hyperbole) for saying that, that he is entirely saying it to guilt ES into forgiving him, and it honestly exhausts me. So like, hey, I'm not Futa, I'm part of the audience and I've voted. So let me say it: We are in fact the same.

He is not wrong in believing it. The MILGRAM system only abuses people under the excuse of giving justice and punishment to those that deserve it regardless of the degree of their crime— And I'm not talking about Kotoko. The psychological torture all 10 of these people are going through is not fair, not on the most forgivable one, nor the least. It is just an abusive system. This system killed people, some of which were teenagers, for having a troubled life. How is that any different from him?

Now I just said we are the same for the dramatism— Of course we are not the same on the basis that we are not actually hurting real people, but like, this fictional character doesn't have a conscience. By MILGRAM canon we really are just a bunch of people getting entertainment from 10 troubled people getting tortured. And as for ES, them continuing to partake on their role when they saw the extreme consequences it has just because they were told to do it is... Yeah, can you really blame any of the prisoners for thinking the guard is also in the wrong?

Ultimately, to conclude: I don't think Futa feels no remorse, nor do I think he only feels bad because he got consequences for it, and I don't understand this point of view. He's shown distress over his actions before backlash came his way, and right now he's at a point where he can't ignore that he fucked up and he will admit to it just fine. He is just simultaneously (and rightfully) upset that a fucked up system that does the same if not worse is the one that gets to decide whether he should be forgiven or not, because in all honesty, none of the prisoners deserve to be judged by MILGRAM.

Aaanyhow, that is it for me. I wrote this in a delirious state from sickness so I hope it's readable and coherent. Peace

Note: i know its implied es attempted to stop the trials and it didnt work, i dont think theyre evil and entirely on a power trip... please dont misunderstand the bit i talk abt es as me saying theyre evil and entirely on a power trip thank you

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #fuuta milgram #character analysis #i guess #theory too? #idk. its once again almost 4 am #ive repeated it a lot in the text but this is my PERSONAL take #if you disagree youre free to do so but i feel very strongly about my stance on this #specially the very end #this isnt an open for debate post #im just putting my thoughts out there. u may add urs if u want though i just wont be actively debating but ill read it