#and I bit my tongue bc that one is kinda heavy but also I rly don't appreciate my desire for a wife being compared to a stabbing

[angeltrapz]

howdy 💙 chainshipping ask time: on days when they’re feelin bad, what do they do for the other person? also favorite date night activities? + th first moment post-bathroom where they each realized they’d fallen in love w th other?

hi!! 💜

ooh I think abt this a lot actually. I think th two of them have a tendency 2 bottle things up, so it kind of takes a lil bit fr them to realize tht Hey, Someone Wants To Make Sure I'm Okay and fr them 2 then get to a place where they share how they're rly doing rather than bein like "no everything's fine wdym :)" but once they Do get past tht n r able 2 be honest w each other, it's a lot better fr both of them + honestly its own form of healing.

a lot of th time when Adam's having a bad day, he's either nonverbal or responds w as short of an answer as possible, so th big thing Lawrence does fr him is just let him know he's there when/if he's ready 2 talk + there's no stress 2 tell him what's wrong right away. tht's smth tht's rly important to Adam, n smth he appreciates greatly. often times, along w tht, Adam tends 2 seek out physical contact - so like coming up behind Lawrence while he's cooking breakfast n wrapping his arms around him, holding his hand when they're walking together, sitting close enough so their knees/shoulders/hips brush + just leaning into Lawrence's side altogether, etc. so another thing they do is either cuddle up on th couch or in th bedroom n they watch a few movies together. sometimes Lawrence will read 2 him too. it's rly all abt proximity + lil actions tht in reality r a wordless way 2 say "I'm here, it's okay, we'll get thru this together." Lawrence is patient, doesn't rush him, n stays close by. fr Adam, tht is more than enough + means th world. n it eventually leads 2 him being more comfortable voicing how he feels more often!!

Lawrence's bad days r a lil harder to catch bc even tho he knows Adam's there, he still feels a pretty intense amount of guilt + doesn't often feel tht he has like. a right 2 complain? bc I think, fr a long time, he views himself as th one most responsible fr what happened in th bathroom n how they got there. it takes a while fr him to break out of tht mindset, but th main thing Adam reminds him of is he's still here. bc Lawrence spends a lot of time thinking like, "if I wasn't a bad person, Jigsaw wldn't have chosen me or put my family in danger, therefore it's my fault + I need 2 atone somehow." Adam is aware of this, n they've found tht th best solution is fr him 2 just b very blunt n ask "well was I a bad person? was I so horrible tht Jigsaw chose me based on tht n I deserved what happened next?" n of course Lawrence will immediately be like "no of course not??? nothing u cld've done cld warrant tht?" (kinda like th way u mentioned Adam comforts William) so Adam gets to respond w "tht applies 2 u too, u know. yr not a bad person. nothing you cld've done wld warrant smth like tht, either."

n Lawrence mentally bluescreens th first time he hears Adam say tht bc it's just like. He's Right. if he doesn't think Adam is a bad person + deserved wht happened, why did he? so tht's like th big thing Adam does fr Lawrence. he reassures him tht despite his brain's best efforts 2 convince him otherwise, he is a good person who Adam loves n tht might've made mistakes, but they didn't warrant being chained to a pipe in a fucking bathroom somewhere w his family in danger + being tasked 2 kill his now-bf, christ.

favourite date night activities!! I think they're mostly p lowkey fr th most part just bc of like, th unease of potentially being around A Lot Of Ppl, but every once in a while they'll dress up a lil bit n go somewhere nice fr dinner bc Lawrence is a hopeless romantic + he likes being able 2 do tht fr Adam sometimes. Adam thought it'd be like, wayyyy too stuffy + uncomfortable esp bc it's not smth he's used to, but honestly it's rly fun n they get to spend time together, so in th end it's all fine! plus there's never any pressure 2 like, go all out w dressing up or anything, so tht's nice too. honestly, if Adam wasn't so in love w Lawrence, th way he holds his hand over th table while they skim thru th menu + talk abt what sounds good might make him think he was somehow th main character of a romcom.

a lot of times, too, they frequent this local diner tht Adam used 2 go to fr breakfast all th time when he n Scott were teenagers bc it was relatively cheap, th food was good, + th staff was full of kind ppl. the lighting is lowkey n they usually have some sort of seasonal decorations around th place, n it's just somewhere Adam feels Safe, which of course leads 2 Lawrence feeling tht way abt it too. it's rly nice fr when they still want to go out, but don't rly want to put too much effort into it (tht's not to say th diner is low-quality tho!). they're there so often some of th servers know them by name + are friendly w them, so there's tht too!

their favourite, tho, is nights in where they order takeout or delivery so tht neither of them have 2 cook (Adam is getting better w it, tho Lawrence still cooks fr th majority of th time) n they can just relax. sometimes they lay a bunch of blankets on th floor n camp out there, sometimes they make a pillow fort bc why not, n sometimes they just grab their favourite blanket n curl up on th couch while watching random TV fr background noise or movies. Adam’s head always ends up on Lawrence’s shoulder at some point. Lawrence will have an arm around his shoulder. sometimes Adam will rest his legs across Lawrence’s lap. it’s just being close + enjoying some downtime tht they both rly appreciate.

as fr th first time they realized they were in love each other... in all honesty, fr Lawrence, it was pretty much th moment Adam finally woke up in th hospital n looked at him n said “you came back fr me.” (like yr text game Still Life is Exactly how I see it happening!!) however, th first time Lawrence rly became CONSCIOUS of tht feeling n was able 2 put a name to it was honestly so simple and yet so meaningful. it was Adam standing in his kitchen th morning after he’d spent th night bc he cldn’t get to sleep on his own, too worked up n on edge n afraid 2 be alone.

it’s Adam in only a faded n too-big t-shirt n boxers trying 2 figure out how to use Lawrence’s keurig. it’s th sunlight streaming in frm th window above th sink n framing Adam’s face n turning his eyes this bright honey-green when Lawrence catches them. he’s in th middle of washing the dishes bc he’d been meaning to since th night b4, watching as Adam moves around n learns th placement of everything, his presence so natural-feeling tht it’s hard fr Lawrence to even imagine tht he hasn’t always been there. and then Adam turns 2 look at him bc he can feel him staring, his hands curled around a mug of hot coffee, eyes still half-lidded w remnants of sleep n hair a wild unruly mess, and he smiles - tht is when Lawrence truly realizes tht he loves him. he cldn’t imagine his life w/ out Adam in it. he can hardly remember how it felt to live w/ out him. tht’s when he knows.

I think fr Adam, th moment he became truly aware of how much he loved Lawrence was actually during one of his bad days where he was stuck in th mental bathroom, unable get out of his own head fr much longer than a few minutes at a time. he had gone mostly nonverbal n found the energy needed 2 keep up a conversation was just not smth he had, but instead of Lawrence being irritated by tht fact, he was going out of his way 2 be like, “I know yr not doing well, n tht’s okay, if u want 2 talk to me I’m here but if u don’t I’ll still b here anyways.” n tht’s like smth tht’s so foreign to Adam, ppl being willing 2 understand his struggles w things like speech n eye contact if he’s distressed + who don’t try 2 force him to power thru it, so tht first time he’s just sitting there on th couch, leaning against Lawrence’s side w/ his legs tucked up underneath him n w his weighted blanket covering them both, watching Lawrence fill out th crossword in th daily newspaper n just kinda coasting tht line between being present n checking out, he’s just like. Huh. This Is Nice.

bc no one’s ever rly offered tht kind of accommodation 2 him? esp not his parents, which is part of wht I mentioned earlier abt his tendency to bottle things up. neither of them have 2 say anything; it’s just comfy, reassuring, sitting so close + sharing a space while maintaining a comfortable silence bc Adam doesn’t think he can explain yet. n he looks up at Lawrence’s face, tracing th heavy line of his furrowed brows as he concentrates hard abt whatever word it is he’s trying 2 figure out, th tip of his tongue peeking out btwn his lips as he squints, occasionally mouthing a word or two, n tht’s kind of when it hits him. it’s just kind of like an internal ah, I see. Lawrence doesn’t mind tht he’s like this. he doesn’t badger him fr answers or expect him 2 be th perfect image of good mental health n is perfectly content 2 just sit w/ him as he rides it out. tht’s when Adam really gets tht this is love.

tysm fr this ask I had so much fun w it <3

#saw #adam #lawrence #thank u!!!! #I laid down earlier 2 see if it wld help but it. hasn't so #it's been. a long weekend in several different ways jdkds #I spend a lot of time thinking abt th polycule but I've spend Just As Much if not more time thinking abt these 2 lmao #spent* #long post #again. tysm!!

[shytiff]

Mar 2021 Wins

1 - Work againn except the medical record ran out. So we went back at 12 am. Relaxeddd at home. Fasted today (still got 2 fasting debts to go). Meeting with dr dafsah dr bayushi and dr debby at 20:30. I embarrassed myself lmao,,, and what you can say as "asal bunyi". Let the overthinking and fear begin. I actually woke up 3 times during the night, lmaoo is it anxiety? Never happened to me before.

2 - we need to take care of administrations to get more medical record so we did. Wasted almost half of the day but we finally managed. Immediately fell asleep at home lmao

3 - the usual day in harkit. Asked more medical records. Planned to go to cp to see slip ons but the tj i wanted to ride went straight to kalideres so like the sane person i am of course i went back home. Timing is very222 great sometimes in life. Zoom meeting with the ever so kind dr eva. Mahmud and dela joined the assistant gang

4 - magang. Met dr eva in pediatric icu. late late evening lunch was kungpao chicken sec bowl (which i exclaimed as sweet. And then my friend said kungpao is supposed to taste like that. Huh). I was picked up after maghrib. Laid down in bed, playing my phone until 22ish and i fell asleep. Damn i shouldve slept earlier yknow

5 - magang. Ate spicy salmon onigiri from lawson for lunch. Went to btkv basecamp with mahmud since RM was a bit crowded. Not even 10 mins in, and we excused ourselves because misuh2 btkv near the computer on our table. Went to nonama in le meridien after magang with ara ness gen cal hanin amal alya. The sushi was so so (too much rice). Yay for lots of sashimi. Salmon kushiage was tasty. Salmon aburi cheesy stuff was tasty. Soba so so. Takoyaki explodes in your mouth. While waiting for mom, saw live piano performance in the lobby. Shes playing alone. I hope she knows someone out there appreciates it *oddly melancholic*

6 - slept in. Felt good. Hurriedly showered and got ready bcs i thot it was getting a bit late and turns out i arrived in halte kalideres 9:11 am lmao. Breakfast slash lunch was penyetan cok ayam. The sambal was not THAT spicy but my tongue has weakened now. Picked up some data in RM. Went to central park with my heavy ass bag to search for slip ons. Didnt find one yet. Went to kkv for the first time. Went back home and its heavy rain on the tj but dry in kalideres. Snacked on fitz cookies (its basically vegan tuffis) on the bus since i felt hungryyy. Juan bought chicken satay and when i arrived theyre all eating but i didnt feel like eating with them lmao (its been a while since i last did) so i just went upstairs, finished that fitz cookies, fell asleep in my mukena (after maghrib) and skipping isya :(

7 - didnt feel like doing anything when i woke up, but forced myself to open laptop for nemo. Played a bit of keyboard. Ate last nights satay. Rly was in a rut until i managed to shower (i last showered yesterday morning,,,) and felt a bit better. Even did night skin care and mask (which i didnt do lately)

8 - magang as usual while listening to curhat babu. I was still feeling "off" even though i was outside already. Felt a bit more normal after i had lawson's ice arabica gayo covfefe. Lunch was spicy sec bowl with extra chicken. Coffee's effect is amazing im just blown away. Like im not tired. I feel normal. I dont feel like immediately going to bed when i arrive at the house. Read and finished starving anonymous before bed. Its... A lot to take in. Especially before bed lmaoo

9 - mencret2 in the morning and i blame it on spicy sec bowl. my pace in magang is so slow why :( lunch is carbonara spaghetti from Barilla (29k with discount). It does make you feel full, and it is creamy. But the beef bacon is so few 😐 it will be more delish if it has more bacon. Picked up by mom after maghrib today. At 19:30 ish my stomach hurtedddd bcs of rising acid.its been a while since it happened. Thankfully mom bought tan ek tjoan and brownies. The ache dissipated after i finished my bread. Its so cold in the car tfff or is it my poor metabolism

10 - magang til after isya since tomorrow is a holiday. powered by lawson’s arabica gayo after lunch (good habit’s minimal-taste fried rice lol). while on the way back, kapjagiii ukmppd result announcement. alhamdulillah i passed. congratulated by some. slept late seeing people’s social media update.

11 - woke up late. didnt feel hungry, so i ate at 13:00 ish (tuna, peanut-chocolate sandwich). slept after eating. ghosted mahmuda calling me regarding after zuhur liqo. didnt pick up atikah’s calls. cant seem to talk lmao. rly rly tried to do dr dafsah’s excel this day, but cant seem to start my day. i was like “i’ll take a shower” but i didnt. “i’ll start the excel at 20:00″ i didnt. i just slept. and woke. and slept. dreamed about going to dufan with clara but we bailed since there was no promo. i practically didnt no anything today lol

12 - finally showered (that was supposedly done yesterday lmao). my pink flats broke down. i was the only one who come lmao. did dr dafsah’s excel and finished at 10. went to TA and tried popolamama’s ayce. tried chicken arabiatta (very tomato-ey taste, not a fan), pepperoni, bolognese and banana caramel with vanilla ice cream. Managed to eat 4 small pizza out of 9 flavor choices. While eating i remembered i came to celebrate passing ukmppd. so in my mind i pat myself in the back and said (not out loud) congrats for passing ukmppd. it felt bittersweet, but a nice validation. tried to search for slip ons again but didnt find one. bought a black top in uniqlo. started reading here you are

13 - lazed and lazed and jhs friends wanted to meet up but i cant even muster the courage to shower lmao. after zuhur was the meet up time but i slept at 12. lets go. come on. out. suddenly i have to build up a will to socialize just like with running. and i managed. left the house at 13:30-ish. went to ali kopi dm and got thai tea. slowly warming up my social battery. and then things felt a bit better. and we moved to flavola (got the somay). and talked we did, until suddenly its near isya. and then i had to go back bcs mom was being restrictive as usual. if it werent for that i would stay longer w atikah and pupuy. felt energized afterwards, read more of here you are and slept at 00:00 ish

14 - woke up, played some keyboard. im not prepared for another monday. Mangago is down. Unboxed my knockoff airpods that arrived couple of days ago. The sound and function was ok. Showered near the end of zuhur.

15 - magang as usual. Got out of my gloomy (felt a bit better) after going out. Lunch was ayam pedas lawson with added fried chicken. Also bought arabica gayo. Went back home before maghrib. Why must i be here while my dad talk about whatever before sholat maghrib. I hate it here. Ara and redita stayed over bcs theyre 'supposedly' going to rsut to pick up samples. Except it was cancelled and in the morning they went back to rscm,,,

16 - its only morning but i yapped abt worrying in our future to poor ekal who just sat there lmaoo. I told him how i realized im easily bored. Tried K-Chop for lunch, bought kimchi bokkeumbap, pajeon and kimchi jeon. The fried rice tasted like fried rice but with a hint of kimchi. Kimchi jeon was good and refreshing. the pajeon was basically egg with added ingredients. But it did make me feel full. Suddenly felt like singing life goes on with the keyboard.

17 - tried fitfut for lunch. Got mushroom chicken steak and katsu wrap. Their katsu is,,, simply put, tasteless. Like those HEALTHY healthy foods. The (small) chicken steak was ok. The mushroom sauce tasted good. Zoom call with dr dafsah at 12 am. More work i guess,,,

18 - fasted today. Still got 1 debt to go. Sahur was indomie, banana and protein shake. Did not feel hungry in magang but i kinda felt lightheaded. And then i cant take it anymore and went home at 2 pm. Arrived after ashar. Theres PLENTY of time to do stuff, right? Nope. I just laid in bed playing my phone til maghrib (iftar was chicken noodle) and continued until i fell asleep. My dream was absurd lmaoooo

19 - had custom salad hut for lunch. felt suuuper fult. bought pop cookies since it was the last day of grabfood’s 50% promo. was picked up after isya by mom. we talked with the resident who’s doing his thesis stuff and it turns out he’s from the same shs as mahmuda lmao. he bought kopsus and donat kampung for us, how kinddd :”) i said “mantap ni kakak kelasnya mahmud” and he said “kamu kan adek kelas saya juga”. kind seniors. i hope they have great careers and be successful and im learning to be kind from kind people. i dont know, im just easily touched by simple gestures lmaoo. first time trying tuku’s coffee. it’s smooth and creamy (like the milk and coffee unites (?)) and it doesnt separate when you leave it. its milky but has a strong coffee taste. Slept at 11 pm-ish, playing my phone

20 - lazed. saw long covid webinar. ate mom’s salmon mentai, pop cookies matcha cream cheese and dark chocolate. the dark chocolate one, especially a bit cold, taste soooo good wtf. concentrated sugar and chocolate at its finest. played some keyboard. saw youtube vids about the genius jacob collier. lent my byu phone number so ara could use it to catfish in coffee and bagel lol. bought sbux green tea and caramel macchiato 1 L for 100k + delivery fee and my bro said it tasted good

21 - tried pop cookies red velvet this time. Its super sweet yall and i thought martabak orins was the epitome of d40 bolus. did pamela reif 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill you. except i got doms WITHIN the day of work out. also attempted sun salutation and my leg is so damn stiff. did some work on sunday!!! wow!!!! (after wasting 2 weekends) finished skimming air gear lol. it still made me feel glorious. 

22 - volunteered to help vaccination at rptra planet senen w akis els yud kind. Finished at about 13:30. We got chicken noodle, nasi padang and mcd lol. Went to senen bus station. Prayed there. Called mahmud and turns out theres no new medical record so i went straight home. Ate the mcd and lazed in bed

23 - vaccine volunteer again, this time in sd 01 kramat, w regen nagit red adita. Observation table again. Except its twice the amount of pt compared to yesterday. Nebeng redita to gang IX and walked to nessa's place. Went to GI and we watched violet evergarden (tif gen ness kris indah ara). The ac in the screenX cgv theater wasnt even on. Picked up by mom at 20:30 ish so i hurried down. The movie was hilarious w indah's commentary

24 - sooo sleepy and lazy but finally went to harkit. Waiting for pak oji to get medicak records, i shopped at sociolla lol. Bought eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow palette, blush since i dont have those (i only have cheap 3 color mizzu eyeshadow). Did some work. Met kiki in RM. "planned" to do the rest of magang work at home and arrivd back at 3-ish pm but we all know thats a lie. Lazed. Maghrib. Bought sbux 1L to have some caffeine through the green tea. Sinau airway class by dr zeta (focused thanks to the caffeine). Had some "awake time" left and did not feel sleepy til 10:30ish pm but i had to sleep since i got 1 more fasting to go 2mrw. No progress on magang work aaaaa

25 - had indomie, boiled egg, banana and protein powder for sahur. magang. emir took a while to pick me up even though i already told him the time im arriving and i ended up ordering grab lmao and he showed up right before the grab. liqo w kak kartika and mahmud while sipping caramel macchiato. did some translation (job by dr triya)

26 - picked up pld medal, gown and buavita (lol) at salemba and then went to harkit. met kiki again. lunch was k-chop. quite good and fulfilling. waiting for mom to pick me up before maghrib. Was lazying around at night and it turns out clara came w kefas. She called but dumb ass me had my phone on silent. She surprised me and came all the wayyy with a little tayo cake and a line friends pillow. I was awkward w kefas bcs im awkward w new people :):):) she went back and then i cried afterwards in my room. Fianti sent me a wish before midnight (somehow havent fell asleep) and then i close my eyes and go to the dream world

27 - had mie goreng for breakfast. fell asleep again. woke to silvi and racheel calling me and as usual my phone was not ringing. there’s racil silvi devi reza outside the door lmao. they (including atikah) surprised me with gift (a bag). i asked them to come with me to gi since im gonna eat w regen. we tried yakiniku like and the meat was juicy and yum, better then kintan. racil dkk ate marugame udon just below. wanted to get banban but it was so crowded. went back by grab. racil and atikah stayed over. talked until like 12 am. forced myself to pray isya. 

28 - talked for hours like we usually do, tried some makeup bcs i need to practice for pld lol. tarik tiga to their place bcs i needed to borrow pld clothes lol. rearranged my room and i was sweating. i should’ve drank macchiato and did some work but i cant bring myself to so i just sleep. hangovers post feeling normal are never the best feeling

29 - woke up super late. cant bring myself to go to harkit. i feel like shit. sick and tired of feeling sick and tired ((quoting jhene aiko)). mustered some will to shower. rode my on bike pretending im going to harkit except im going to mcd. got big breakfast and lemon tea. went to flavola, ordered kopsus coklat and indomie + telor. Went back home after isya. 

30 - Binge watching sean and kaycee’s vids lol it all began with their leave the door open dance :). went to harkit by TJ after the redcap was unaccessible at 09:30ish. lunch was truffle belly chicken mushroom (somehow there’s 50% disc). Took some needed data and went back home at 14:20. did (new) translation for dr Triya. finally drank homemade matcha latte after a while. 

31 - originally intended to go to flavola after zuhur, but i just cant muster the strength. did dr triya’s translation work. didnt do any ecmocard today. felt like shit. ate the tayo small cake from clara. quite good and not too heavy. gladi kotor pld today. did green screen using mukena lol. fell asleep. skipped isya and the next morning’s subuh :( basically i ended march feeling like utter shit lol

[valkyrr]

1-96, just because :P

-cracks knuckles- OH BOY alright, let’s do this

full meme under the cut 

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

my closet doesn’t have a door!

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

YEA but they’re really faint unless i’ve been hanging out in the sun for a while

(3) Can You Whistle?

NO and I’m bitter

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

God Only Knows - The Beach Boys

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

atm it’s blue, but it changes often

(6) Relationship Status.

single and kind of ready to mingle i’m not really sure just gonna see how things go

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

66 degrees F

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

nope

(9) How Many Followers?

208

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Libra!!

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Hazel I think,,

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

if you’re talking abt a daily multivitamin and not medication then NO that’s a level of health I am Not At

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

ofc, i’ve figured out how to balance my phone on the shower ledge w/o it getting wet so i can sing to songs lmao

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

none atm

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

Ferahgo watched him intently and commented, “What’s that noise? Has one of your teeth broken? Oh look, it’s fallen out. (...)”

(16) Favourite Anime?

Lupin III 

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Vinyls!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Crackers that may have been sitting in our pantry for ~4 months now

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

nah, but i’ll sing

(21) Favourite Animal?

Lynx

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

YEA I love the Olympics!

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

1 AM - 3 AM

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

ye

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

all of my mutuals tbh.....

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Music

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

with, but it’s gotta be classical or smooth jazz or Chill Anime Beats 24/7 or something

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

b o t h

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

Orange

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

used to be team Xbox, i’m PS now bc i’m a traitor

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Lake

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

depends what kind!

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

gray

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

ye

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

try to save it as best i can!

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

no

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

I’m back on my Bloodborne bullshit rn but besides that I’m really getting into Kings of Convenience as a band and i’m digging their music??

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

YEA kid me used to chase them around, keep them for a little bit, then release them

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

ye, please be aware i’m gonna copy personality traits if i’m around the same person for a while

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

lately yeah?? but i can’t ever remember them tbh

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

ye

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Good Will Hunting

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Peanuts

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

honestly I still wanna see Fleet Foxes live but i’m ~salty~ because they just came to detroit @ a venue i’ve been at before and really liked and i was busy the day of their concert

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

not rly unless it comes to texture

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

tbh an atomic war could happen and if I was sleeping i’d be none the wiser

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

every time a thunderstorm happens i get 100% stronger

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

yea if i’m in the mood for it!

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

also depends on my mood

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

The Growlers - Love Test

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Summer still, but it’s starting to feel like Fall in the evenings

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

Pizza

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Cis girl

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Tea all the way

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

No thank goodness

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Super Ace

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

I wish;;

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Entei/ Aggron

(64) Favourite Social Media?

This hellsite

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

They’re cool, never use them though

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

All the time

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Ye

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Idk i think it’s like “Maui moisture” or somethin, i just picked it bc it smelled pretty good

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Sleep in my car, i’m a huge germaphobe abt motels/hotels in general

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

yes, thankfully

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

idk, the last one I wanted to see was Baby Driver but i don’t think it’s in theaters anymore?

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

i only have one(1) ex from like...... grade school. lmao. i completely forgot about him ‘till this question

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

this

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

Brown eyes are VERY underrated

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YEAH

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Tuna + Peaches

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

i have Fallout Shelter but i’m thiiiiiis close to deleting it because it’s stressful af and i get way too attached to my dwellers

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

yea of course lmao I can’t see a reason why anyone wouldn’t???????

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

I used to pull internet marathons like that when I was in high school but I’m kinda over it

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

never in a creepy way, but i follow a ton of bands i like on instagram and i get unreasonably exited when one of them posts something to their story

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yea!

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Not often

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

got in touch w a friend i hadn’t talked to in a while, did some laundry, drew a bit!

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

usually pj shorts and a t shirt

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

 I have a ton of lipstick from Colourpop, a bunch o’ e.l.f. stuff, and some other misc things

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

there’s......... so many tbh

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Cream Soda 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Rain on the window, cars passing on the road outside, running water

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

probably Bad, just chillin in my pjs 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Reading

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

Okay I’d love to get something in the traditional style but I’m also one of those people who would prefer a tattoo w meaning and I don’t really know of anything I’d put on my body permanently yet?? Might change down the road idk

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

I’m only rly on YouTube for the music 

thanks for the asks :)

#miscnerdings

[freigaeist]

also a random question but - favourite ship, if you have one?

ANJA

VMON ; the fashionistas, the earth signs, the teacher and his student, the refreshingly buzz of wild thoughts swirling through the organized mind whAT IS NOT TO LOVE ABOUT VMON!!! i can’t even say what is the most adorable abt those two but i think i’m drawn to how surprisingly similar they are but also how utterly different? whilst they’re both care-taker namjoon is the mental support, he’s incredibly good with words and verbal reassurance whereas taehyung can make anybody feel at ease with just a smile or a hand on the shoulder. whilst the older is gifted with just the right words in any situation the younger has that feeling to him that puts others at ease immediately; like a puppy you pet and feel better though it’s a small creature that needs you to take care of them and guide them you feel oddly accepted, protected, loved and taken care of by a huge grin, lots of spit and scratch marks on your hands and the feeling of their fur underneath your trembling fingers and that is taehyung. namjoon on the other hand is the words of an elder, a friend, a mother that do more than every physical support could do for you at that very moment. namjoon is the voice reading you a bedtime story that lulls you to sleep from very far away while taehyung is the bass soothingly vibrating beneath your head whilst being pressed close to his warm body. i imagine namjoons fingers are always kinda cold and at their best luke warm or hot and sweaty and taehyung seem to be always very warm and dry. namjoon get headaches from worrying too much and nibbling on his inner cheek in thoughts, taehyung has already moved from the foggy slumber of the past, got rid of the muddy finger prints on his white vest and is with one foot already in the newly fallen snow of the future, in his chest already bubbling excitement and aticipitation. vmon are the lecturing but kind words of an older person guiding and the younger reaching out and holding them in their steady embrace for a while knowing that even the wisest and oldest need nothing but a hug and a thankful smile from time to time.

so vmon is like the Ship of the Month but c’mon we all know bea HAS to have sidehoes (Me, A triple-biased Ship Wreck, ) so i’ll go in detail abt the others too fuck it why not:

JinMin ; ah yes sag+libra, they’re the kinds of sweets that look innocent and taste sweet and nice on first bite before some nasty kind of lemon STINGS into your tongue and you reconsider ever eating candy again bc how dare the sugar&sweets industry foaling you like this??? jinmin is this; effing libra park jimin being the cutest but also the most cunning out there, he KNOWS how to act and how to behave to have people liking him - but that doesn’t work when the person he’s trying to lull in acts like an actual 5y/o that just. isn’t having it. nopedy nop nope. this bangtan bomb is still everything to me bc i think their individual relationship comes out wonderfully as well as this vlive - truth be told both are reasons why my life improved 10% overall am not kidding. seokjin is the bigger brother chim never had and jimin the younger jin never had i think their sense of humour is rly similar (name one time when jimin pressured himself NOT to laugh at jins antics!), they’re the Gossip Girls out of these bunch of boyscouts and i love them for that! whenever one of them is whispering into the others ear it looks extra shady if you ask me &I LOVE IT! jimin sometimes looks so extra Done with Jin and he just continues going on his nerves like it’s a water slide &I LVOE IT! i also love how seokjin is older but let’s jimin (and everybody else) just have their ways from time to time, he isn’t too serious when he doesn’t needs to be and i think that puts the others at ease. they’re also Team Touchy though i’d say jimin is more of the physical support than jin bc jimin isn’t one to be all sappy with words but rather shows his concern and that he senses someone’s upset with simple, reassuring gestrues. he doesn’t play around like jin does when he’s bored or is all clingy and is glued to people like taehyung but he got his ways in immediately being close and having a hand on ones shoulder when they’re worried and i actually think jin learned a bit from chim when it comes to this? i mean yes he’s The (so claimed) Mom but he isn’t overly touchy but with the youngsters he is and i find that rly cute! they’re on one wave and the wave’s wild and high enough to happily sail on it :’^) i also read this lovely yet absolute heart-breaking (in the possibly best way) masterpiece and fell in love instantely

others i’m all HEART EYES for

Sope ; who isn’t in love with yoonseok. honestly. the pisces boy and his water bearer. when yoongi’s the deep dark water growing heavy and deadly hoseok is lightning buzzing through the halfway frozen surface, cracking ice and bringing light into the darkness which the water reflects in every direction to light it up. when hobi is all twitching nerves and fluid anxiety (and he’s all nerves to me; even when he’s talking in a quiet/low voice to calm ppl he’s talking incredibly FAST and his voice literally dances up&down he is just. A BUNDLE OF NERVES HE’S SUCH AN AQUARIAN) yoongi is reassuring deepness and calm and when yoongi’s depressed and without any motivation and everything and everyone is choking him to death and he feels like drowing hoseok is his light, oxygen and soul food. they’ve that super healthy relationship where they magically balance their downsides out smh?? that’s how i see them. they’re offering what the other is lacking and by that make a very strong unit. plus yoongi is really straight-forward and honest but he’s not one who’s all lovey dovey and shows how much he cares too obvious BUT WITH HOB HE IS EXACTLY THAT!!! i just rly love them but then again, who doesn’t?

Taejin ; Team Agegap - mhh both have a similar but different feeling to me but it’s all pure. they let jin be the child and are sUPER ANNOYED BY HIM sometimes when he wants to play around and they don’t want to! Seokjin is absolutely in love with taehyung (but then again who isn’t) and they can gET INCREDIBLY TOUCHY (possesive bf Tae at it everywhere, their mama stage??) with each another! plus the one and only thing i ever wrote is taejin lol for jinkook, i love that seokjin has that ability to lower himself. he’s the oldest and jeongguk the youngest yet i think they’re very close in the sense that jin is lowering himself and jeongguk likes to play the know-it-better& mess with his oldest hyung at times so they’re almost equal (plus team muscle pigs yay). these three are a bunch of pre-schoolers i wouldn’t want to take care of (am kidding pls pls let me play around with them!)

Double Wings ; Smol & Tol - namjin were the first that got me into reading bts fanfics (our sometimes tired, sometimes overly enthusiastic but 90% of the time emBARRASSING parents who gave the word Awkward its meaning (not bc they’re awkward with each other hell they’ve one of the best relationships you can have with someone who you’re not similar to in lots of ways), are absolutely, undeniably in el oh ve eh with each other), namjoon as the motivated, strict person that want and wants and wants and seokjin the actual fire sign telling the earth sign to CHILL for a second or two.. they just get me lots. minjoon is just. pure love. one of the least physical members and one of the touchiest, the smallest bundle that has his shell perfectly under control and the tallest that has everything but control over his long, slender limbs, don’t they make a nice meet&greet of opposites i love it!

and last but not least: Taeguk ! my sweet summer children, the youngest and most playful, partners in crime! they have your chest aching and heart longing for a soulmate you don’t know yet but want to have by your side already, they’re a refreshing summer breeze when you’re out in the midst of an autumn storm and they just give me that supper fuzzy, warm and very soft feeling inside where i either want to put them to bed and read them a bed time story of be out with them in the middle of a hot summer night, ripping out trees and yelling until it echoes to the moon and back. taehyung is warmth and steadiness when jeongguk is anxious and unsure, he’s an older brother that doesn’t mind playing the younger for a while and jeongguk is obviously the touchiest with taehyung (no surprise as taehyung IS the touchiest himself lol). i think the most fics i read (it’s not many but if i start one that i love i will read 20k in one go) is taeguk just bc it’s rly popular (which is understandable if you ask me?) and many talented ppl fell in love with them! 

shoutout to 2seok & jikook for being underrated in their brother-like, more quiet charms and sugamon for putting up with one another for such a long time so they practically grew on one another, sugakookie where an Intro Big shows an Intro Smol that it’ll be okay being like this in an extroverted idol world AND vmin & namseok for being the typical same age liners where one of the “twins” constantely states “i’m like 2minutes older rESPECT ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

bangtan is one family and i love all their friendships/dynamics but those are my faves :’^) in the end nobody stans bts as much as taehyung bts anyways, right? THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME WASTE MY TIME I LOVED THIS

#people be asking me what kinda cheese i favor #i'll answer abt three different kinds how they were made the history abt where it came from #including 5 fun facts abt each sort where one of them miraculously ends up being a creepy pasta #and the other turns into life advice on bad breath?? #anja you were lying when you said i have my thoughts collected #i'm all over the palce looki at this mess #but i love going deep on simple stuff and turning big issues into flies :^/ #answered #anja <3 #ksjknj #also feel always free to tag me in any kinda precious interaction regardless which member lol #i'm just loving the love and brotherhood!

[angeltrapz]

helo beloved mutual connor, im sorry ur goin thru it rn but i come bearing asks n a heart emoji (💗): bcuz i have had this thought floatin around for a lil bit, wld love 2 hear ur takes on an Adam/Eric/Mallick (+ Art too if u want!) road trip vacation! how long wld they go, do they get motels or camp or just sleep in th car? whats everyone's favorite road trip snack? what sorta shit do they like 2 stop for? (weird tourist traps like giant balls of yarn etc, small town main street stores, cool looking restaurants, nature sites, Actual Destinations, so on n so forth!)

fjkdsd thank u beloved mutual adam,,, <3

ohhh I love tht idea!! road trip fics/hcs are one of my weaknesses,,

but um!! I rly like the idea of th four of them going camping a few hours up north!! (we... don't rly know where. SAW is set so just. imagine a vaguely rural campground lmao. I'm used to camping in th upper peninsula of MI so) it's smth tht Art did a lot w his family when he was growing up, so he's th most familiar w it - Eric went a few times as a kid too, Mallick went Once, n Adam has never rly been camping, w his family or otherwise (he's slept on a trampoline at one of his friends' houses once tho). Art is p excited abt it tbh, it's not exactly smth he gets 2 do often so he's got this whole list planned of things he wants 2 show them!!

it's easiest 2 just take a week in late August, bc they can head back home on a Friday n have the weekend to settle n readjust b4 th coming week + they have to go back 2 work. so they head out around ten on a Monday morning 2 kind of get ahead of th traffic (or at least try to). Art drives both bc he insists and bc he knows they can switch if he needs to, which he does later w Eric. it's a good couple hours (at least 3) b4 they get 2 th campground Art wants to take them to, so clearly it is Music Time + Adam made sure 2 bring CDs! a lot of that time is just spent vibing 2 th music and singing very, very loudly (ESP on Adam + Mallick's end). Art's up front like u three are so fucking goofy (affectionate), but eventually he starts singing too lmao.

Mallick starts th Colour Game, where they try 2 find a car fr every colour of th rainbow. it's smth Eric is familiar w as well bc he used 2 play it w Daniel sometimes, and it's good until they come to purple bc how often do u see purple cars??? so Adam's just like "we're not gonna find pink either" n tht's when this fucking pink pickup truck (noticeably spray-painted, + not done well) passes them n Adam just groans n thumps his head against th window. Mallick is like, trying rly hard not to laugh by pressing a hand over his mouth + Art is biting his lip, but Eric is very openly cackling bc "u see what happens when u assume???" (he gets a very light slap 2 th shoulder but it's still very gentle)

ANYWAY. favourite snacks!! Adam can eat Way Too Many Sour Patch Kids. sour anything, actually, as long as it's candy. yes his tongue hurts and no he doesn't regret it. Eric just gets goldfish bc he tends 2 get a lil carsick + bc it's a food tht's familiar n comforting, n he doesn't rly want 2 be eating anything Too heavy (he's up front w Art, so he can sit by a window in case he needs some fresh air at any point). Mallick likes m&m's, but he switches fr cheez-its every once in a while bc he can only eat so much chocolate. Art likes those peanut-butter filled pretzel bites! he's also partial 2 animal crackers tho. they also bring a good amount of snacks/things they can b sure th four of them like, bc yeah there's a lil store abt a half hour away frm their campsite + they can go there to pick up things if they need 2, but it's easier 2 bring things they like, too. (there's also a mcdonald's in tht town n. they do go there at LEAST twice.)

th campsite they stay at has a lake + a beach, n one of Art + Adam's fave things 2 do is walk along it to see if they can find anything interesting! Mallick goes sometimes too, but mostly he stays w Eric bc Eric can't do tht fr as long as Adam + Art can (not tht he's resentful of it tho). he n Mallick chill on th beach w a blanket (it's kind of like. not necessarily sandy?) n just kinda sit against/lay on each other n read sometimes. Adam + Art come back 2 where they're set up to find them sleeping n Adam has never been more thankful he thought 2 bring his camera!!

on th second day Art + Mallick want 2 go swimming, so th four of them come back out to th beach, but Adam stays out of th water + Eric stays w him. they both know th water will be cold, even if it's late summer, n Adam rly doesn't like being in cold water ESP if it's over his head/he can't touch th bottom. fr Eric th cold can b kind of painful, so they chill n walk along th beach fr a little bit n just talk. Adam gets some good pictures n even gets some of Eric! he also does take a selfie of them, he can't help it. he gets a couple of Mallick + Art too. it's honestly such a nice thing fr them n it just feels like they can breathe easy, not having 2 worry abt looking over their shoulders constantly (tho they're all getting better abt that).

th third day they spend around th campsite to kind of unwind n relax. they might walk th beach a little bit again, but mostly they just sorta chill n walk some of th trails around the campground itself. when night falls they light a small bonfire (Mallick is still iffy around fire, understandably) n they sit around it in their folding chairs w th cupholders (Adam gets red, Eric has green, Art gets blue, + Mallick gets dark green) n make s'mores. they talk abt anything n everything until they're barely able 2 keep their eyes open, n then after making sure th fire is pretty much out they kinda just stumble into th tent n none of them r awake for very long after (they specifically got one tht cld comfortably hold th four of them).

fourth day!! they pack up n head into another little town about 45 minutes away; it's bigger than th one around th campgrounds. after they get situated in a motel room w two beds, they do some window shopping + going into lil stores that interest them! Adam def buys some niche graphic tees tht aren't going 2 make sense to anyone other than th four of them n he's delighted abt it. I like 2 think Eric gets a worry stone, specifically made out of rose quartz. Mallick too, but his is made of amethyst! he also gets a rly cool multicoloured jacket in a thrift store they duck into. Art gets a hoodie w th town's name on it n he's pretty happy w that. they get a few more lil things, just little knick-knacks while they're there, n then they have dinner in this lil diner they'd walked past earlier bc it's inexpensive + the atmosphere is very lowkey n honestly just Nice. there's not a bunch of ppl, the servers r rly kind n the lights aren't too bright, which Eric rly appreciates. it's such a tender moment bc they're squeezed into a booth, Adam + Mallick on one side n Art + Eric on th other, n they're talking n laughing n stealing bites of each other's food n it's Comfortable.

then they head back to th motel n channel surf while unpacking enough 2 get to their sleep clothes. Adam + Eric r sharing a bed n Art + Mallick r sharing th other one, tho Adam is very tempted 2 just push them together so they're all close by (th distance btwn th beds isn't tht big to begin with, but it's the principle of th thing). mostly tho, until they go to bed, they're pretty much just all stretched out Everywhere. Adam is only discouraged frm jumping across th divide btwn th beds bc Art breaks out his Lawyer Voice, despite trying rly hard not to laugh, to say Yr Going To Hurt Yrself, Don't Do That. he grumbles n whines abt it but Adam knows he's right jdhjks (th way he sees it is like. he can b silly sometimes. he's Earned It, but he also trusts Art + wasn't super serious abt tht idea). eventually tho Eric can hardly keep his eyes open n Mallick is just straight up asleep while he's still sitting up so tht's when they all go to bed after making sure every1 is comfortable. they leave a lamp on.

fifth day they pack everything up again n stop 2 walk th trails of this lil park b4 they head home! there's a lil shop near th parking lot so they spend a lil bit of time looking around in there first. they probably pick up a few lil things, souvenirs, n Adam walks around 2 get some pictures. he gets this rly cool one while they're on a bridge, th sun peeking thru the clouds a lil bit n shining down on th water. he's super excited to develop tht one (but he's excited to develop All of them, bc this is his family!!!) + he n Art discuss whether or not they're gonna need another cork board lol. eventually tho they round back to th parking lot n on th way home, they stop at another lil hole-in-th-wall kind of place, but it's just as nice as the first one they'd been to. after tht Eric switches spots w Art n he drives them home!!

they're all exhausted when they get back but they have room to crash w each other while they nap so tht's what they do. they fall asleep all tangled together, Art stretched out w Eric's head on his chest, Adam curled against Eric's back, n Mallick w his head on Art's stomach. there r arms n legs everywhere n tht is okay. they're happy. they love each other. they had a lot of fun on their trip n they're tired, but they're comfortable!! tht's what it's all abt!!! it's just such a good n relaxing experience fr them after all th shit they've been thru.

#can u tell I. love camping jdkfks #saw #art #adam #eric #mallick #ty ty!!! I rly appreciate it #I'm doing okay now mostly I think. pretty much always open fr saw asks tho djhfkjsd ESP if they're abt the polycule!! #I literally Do Not get sick of talking abt them dkjdskd #asks #gotta update th masterpost later!! I remembered yesterday but I was up fr too long lmao #real talk tho. thank u fr sending me asks they're my fave <3