#and I cannot love him like that because making playlists for people is very hard for me

[lewmagoo]

a curse i cannot lift | rhett abbott

description: in which everything he holds dear is ripped from his grasp

warnings: 18+ only, werewolf au, pregnancy, allusions to sex, perry abbott assaulting people (idk how else to word that lol), murder, violence, blood, kidnapping, angst, werewolves are unfairly targeted in this world

pairing: werewolf!rhett abott x f!werewolf!reader

listen to the playlist here

notes: this is part of 'the wolf' series! you technically don't have to read the first part but it'll make more sense if you do. access the first part here. access the series masterlist here

dedication: to @lovinglyeternal, without you this series wouldn't have been born. also dedicated to @bro-ooke ; thanks for beta reading this for me!

From a young age, Rhett Abbott had been taught that there was no greater honor in life than to obtain a mate. In wolf culture, finding one’s mate was a fateful, sacred occurrence. It was the joining together of two souls as one entity.

And he had found that oneness when he found you. The moment you walked into his life, his entire world changed. His fierce loyalty had always been dedicated to his family, but when the two of you joined your bloodlines, his loyalties changed. 

It wasn’t that he’d turned his back on his family. Far from it, in fact. But they no longer came first. It was you that came first, above all others. Together, you were responsible for loving and protecting each other. You had made that pledge to one another on your wedding day, a blood oath that was unbreakable and would withstand the test of time. 

Rhett had heard stories of the sacrifices mates were willing to make just to protect one another. But he’d never fully understood the magnitude of such a thing until he had a mate of his own. Sometimes it scared him, and made him feel a little wild, knowing the lengths he would go to to protect you. 

But he wasn’t alone, because you were just as territorial over him as he was of you. You had one another’s backs, and swore to each other that you would keep the other safe. However, he would one day find himself unable to fulfill his part of that promise to you, all because of the foolish actions of one man. And those actions would result in Rhett losing you. 

But hell hath no fury like a wolf whose mate is stolen from him. And when Rhett Abbott’s fury was unleashed, no one would walk away unscathed. 

Neither of you could have ever imagined your lives would be turned upside down. You had only just begun your mateship together. You had made a home for yourselves on Abbott land - an old barn at the edge of the property that Rhett had converted into a living space for the two of you and the family you would soon create together.

Life together was sweeter than you ever could have imagined. From the moment you met him, you felt an all-consuming sense of peace, knowing this was who you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. He was the one that had been formed for you by the cosmos before either of you was even born. A collection of burning, blinding, brilliant stars all forged together into one beautiful man with ocean-blue eyes. 

But, even for mated werewolves, life still had its difficulties. One’s hardships didn’t miraculously disappear once one found their mate. In fact, the joining together of both of your packs posed its fair share of brand-new issues. 

Particularly, the issue of keeping secrets. 

The Abbott family was very secretive. There were things weaved through the fabric of their family history that Royal had done his best to bury. Chief of those secrets was the fact that the land they lived upon was not their own. 

Historically, werewolves were not treated like high-class individuals. In fact, they were often treated like the scum of the earth. The bottom of the barrel. Humans were afraid of their wild tendencies, and this resulted in irrational, widespread fear. 

The wolf community had fought long and hard to obtain equal rights, and after a seemingly never-ending battle, they had finally made some headway. Laws had been put in place, protecting werewolves and their families from discrimination and inhumane treatment. 

Laws had also been put in place against hunting werewolves. These laws had been passed in all fifty states before you or Rhett were even born. The werewolf hunting business had once been very successful, but these days, hunters were almost non-existent. Hunting and killing werewolves was now considered a federal crime. 

You were of the belief that hunting for sport had been eradicated. The elders in your pack had lived through the days of the hunters, and had seen the laws passed forbidding hunting. They all believed the worst of it was behind them. 

But little did you, or your pack, know that there was a family of hunters right in the very town you were living in. A prestigious family at that, one whose money was tainted by the blood of hundreds of innocent wolves.

The Tillerson family had been hunting for centuries. The only reason they decided to stop was all thanks to a little truce made with Royal Abbott.

Long before either of his boys was born, Royal had struck up a deal with Wayne and Patricia Tillerson. The Abbotts were to remain on a specified plot of land. As long as they held up their end of the bargain, the Tillersons would not harm a single hair on any of their heads. But if the Abbotts or their future offspring tried to move to unapproved plots of land, they were fair game. 

The reason for this was that they didn’t want werewolves sullying the reputation of Wabang. It was a beautiful town with rich land and even richer oil wells. Werewolves would only drive away tourists and potential buyers that might come through seeking land and agricultural gain. 

So, Royal and his wife settled on that specified plot of land, and it became known as the Northeast Wyoming Wolf Reservation. After that, all was seemingly fine and dandy for decades. until your pack came along. 

Your pack originally left your hometown because tensions were rising with a neighboring pack. Your family had every right to live there, but the other pack harbored animosity against all of you, and instead of enduring an all-out war, your family, namely your alpha, decided it best to move elsewhere for the safety and well-being of the pack. 

So, you found yourselves in Wabang, Wyoming. You joined forces with the Abbott pack, and in a twist of wonderful fate, you met Rhett, the son of Royal, which proved to you that you were always meant to come here, because in any lifetime, in any universe, you would always find him. 

Royal was the alpha of the Northeast Wyoming Pack, which wasn’t much to speak of, as it was only him and his family. Royal was old and tired. When your pack came along, and it became clear that you and Rhett were to be mates, Royal willingly gave up his alpha status, because there could only be one alpha over a pack.

He allowed your uncle, Malakai, who was already the alpha of your own pack, to take leadership of the now-conjoined pack. Royal was willing to wash his hands of all of it, and it struck you as odd at first. What wolf willingly gave up their statues like that? But It would all make sense when you eventually learned of his motives. He didn’t want to be the one held responsible if anything happened to the pack. He knew if the Tillersons ever targeted the pack, the responsibility of protecting them would no longer fall upon himself. It would fall upon Malakai. And any wolf who was incapable of protecting their pack would face consequences from the National Werewolf League.

But there was, of course, the fact that Royal hadn’t been honest with your family from the beginning. He had welcomed you into the reservation, allowing you to settle there and make homes for yourselves. He had given over his alpha status. For all intents and purposes, he seemed genuinely happy to welcome your ragtag group into the fold. But he never bothered to warn you that if any of you decided to live elsewhere, outside of the reservation, you might just encounter some hunters. 

Rhett hated that his father refused to tell the truth. Royal had even made his family swear they wouldn’t say anything. His reasoning was that it might cause a full-blown massacre if word got back to the Tillersons that the wolves were trying to rebel against the guidelines put in place. 

While other state governments recognized werewolf hunting as illegal, the Tillersons had a particularly close relationship with the governor of Wyoming, and the leader of the state had essentially promised that he would look the other way if the wolves violated this agreement and ended up dead. He was just as money hungry as the Tillersons, and he harbored a hatred for werewolves. He was in agreement that the wolves were bad for business and was perfectly content to get rid of them if it meant protecting the state. 

While Rhett understood his father’s fear, he believed it was wrong and dangerous not to tell your pack the truth. So, in the early days of your marriage, he finally decided that he could no longer sit on this secret and potentially allow it to put a rift in your marriage, or result in your family being harmed. He wanted to reveal everything to you.

So, one night, he called for a family meeting with just your pack. He had already revealed the truth to you privately, and together, you had agreed that it was only fair to inform the others. So he stood before your family that night and explained to them that they were not as safe as they thought they were. 

It took guts for Rhett to go against his father like that. In your eyes, by putting the good of the pack before everything else, he displayed true alpha qualities, and something in you made you believe that someday in the future, he had what it took to take on the role as the new alpha of your pack.

But until then, there were things that needed to be sorted through. Such as the fact that there were hunters in your midst. Your family took the news better than you were expecting, but they were, of course, angry about being lied to. 

“But hunting is illegal. How the hell are there even still hunters around?” One of your cousins, Jace, asked. 

Rhett sighed. “The Wyoming government doesn’t give a shit about us. The Tillersons have the governor by the balls, he’ll look the other way if wolves end up dead.”

“We could report it to the League.”

“Y’ could,” Rhett replied, “I don’t know how much good it’ll do ya. They’d need proof that the Tillersons were actively hunting wolves. And so far, they aren’t. They’ve kept their noses clean for years. Without proof, the League won’t do anythin’.”

Finally, Malakai, the alpha, spoke up. “This is why your dad gave up his alpha status and let me keep mine when we joined packs, isn’t it? So none of the responsibility would fall on him.”

Rhett grimaced, nodding slowly. “I think so. But you’ll have to talk to him about that. Like I said, he didn’t want me t’ tell any of you. He was tryin’ to avoid a war with the Tillersons. If we start violatin’ our agreement with them, they might get trigger-happy.”

A murmur went through the pack. They didn’t like this situation, but at the moment, there was nothing that could be done. As long as everyone followed the contract put in place, there would be no trouble. And for the time being, it seemed as if nobody had a choice in the matter. Until another course of action could be figured out, things would remain exactly the way they were. 

Rhett felt awful to have to break such news to the family. But in the end, you quietly assured him that he’d done the right thing. “I know going against your dad wasn’t easy. But I’m proud of you for making the right decision.”

“How come I still feel lousy about it?” He grumbled. 

“It’ll pass,” you assured him. 

And it did. 

After that moment of honesty, his relationship with your family deepened. They all respected him for what he’d done. He felt loved and accepted in a way he never had before. He found a family that loved him for him. Not for what he could do for them. Not under any conditions. They just loved him. And he could hardly fathom why, but he was grateful. 

But above all else, the purest of loves he’d ever felt was your love. Undying, withstanding the rest of time. You adored him, you would lay down your life for him, and he, you. Sometimes the realization stole the very breath from his lungs. Being with you just felt right. He was no longer held down by the binding loyalty he had to his own family. While he still remained loyal to them, you came first, before anyone else. 

He made a pledge in his heart, determining that when the two of you had children of your own, he would never put them through what he’d had to endure as a child. A ‘tough love’ father who thought men displaying emotion was weak, and a mother who ultimately loved her children, but her loyalty to her husband overshadowed them, and made them feel like they were not as important. 

Rhett would love his child unconditionally and allow them to express their emotions without fear of judgment or consequence. He would be gentle and forgiving and kind, because children deserved such mercies.

As fate would have it, he would one day receive that opportunity.

After your marriage, it didn’t take long for you to fall pregnant. With the way you went at it together during your first heat, there was no doubt in your mind that it would result in conceiving a child. And sure enough, a little while after that initial heat cycle, it happened. 

Funnily enough, it was Rhett who figured it out before you even came to the conclusion yourself. And it was all because your scent had changed. 

Between werewolves, one’s mate was attracted to them by scent. A mate’s scent was unique and intoxicating to the other. Neither of you would ever forget the first time you caught the eachother’s scent, when you initially met. It was overwhelming and all-consuming. 

But now, something was different. 

Your scent had changed. That intoxicating, spicy, sweet scent you emitted, for his senses only, had changed into something lighter. Sweeter. Almost like cotton candy. It caught his attention one morning as you were getting ready for the day.

“Stop,” he spoke, his tone low and even. He’d caught you by the arm, his large hand gentle against you.

You smiled curiously as he tugged you closer. “What?” You asked, a breathless giggle on your lips at his behavior.

“Y’ smell different.” He buried his nose against the side of your neck and inhaled deeply. It tickled, but you remained still, watching curiously as he trailed his nose lower, intent on finding the source. He froze for a moment, only to quickly drop to his knees before you. There, he nuzzled your abdomen, breathing in again. 

A look of tender amazement softened his features, and he gasped, lifting his hand to press over your tummy. Then his gaze flickered up to meet your own. There were tears in those bright eyes. “You’re carryin’ my pup,” he whispered. 

Your own eyes widened, and you lifted your hand, covering your mouth in surprise. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, because you had been hoping this would happen. But you were still overcome with wonderful, all-encompassing elation. 

You laughed for joy, kneeling on the floor with Rhett and throwing your arms around his neck. “A baby! We’re having a baby!” You cried happily.

But he leaned back, a strange sense of wonder illuminating his features. The corners of his mouth tugged upwards into a sweet smile. “We’re havin’ a daughter,” he whispered in response, throat tight as tears glimmered in his eyes. 

You stared at him in amazement. “H-how…?”

“Your scent. When Rebecca was pregnant with Amy she had that same kinda scent. Like pink cotton candy. Or maybe bubble gum. You smell the same.”

That revelation pulled a musical laugh from you, and you threw your arms around your husband again, bubbling with an excitement that warmed your belly like fizzy champagne. 

“

Laughing with you, Rhett leaned back, nuzzling his nose against your own before he kissed you fervently. You melted into him, bodies fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. 

“I knew it wouldn’t be long before I put a pup inside ya,” he murmured against your lips, mouth hot on yours. 

You smiled into the kiss. “I knew it, too.”

He pulled back to fully admire you. “My beautiful mate,” he murmured in adoration, splaying his palm over your abdomen. “Mother of my child.”

He spoke with such reverence, but beneath it was a possessive air that made you shiver. You were his. He was yours. Your hearts belonged to each other, intertwined by the Fates themselves. 

“Love you,” you sighed, eyes fluttering shut as you let yourself lean into his warm touch. 

“I love you too, little wolf.”

You relished in that quiet, intimate moment together, overjoyed that you were finally starting your own family. 

There were a few select moments in your lifetime that you would consider the best moments of your entire life. Discovering that Rhett was your mate was one of them. Your marriage to him was another. And finally, learning you were expecting a baby was the cherry on top. 

You couldn’t hide your happiness if you tried. As mates, it was your shared dream to further your bloodline. It was considered the highest honor in werewolf culture. You were teeming with excitement, eager to reveal the news to the rest of the pack. 

It wasn’t easy to hide, as it was. They would be able to sniff it out no matter how much you tried to hide it. So you didn’t bother hiding it at all. That very day, you shared the news with your families, receiving an emphatic “I knew it!” From your mother, and an excited “I can’t wait to have a baby cousin to play with!” From Rhett’s niece Amy.

That night, a grand celebration followed, and you swore that you didn’t stop smiling once . Oh, how your life had changed. After you announced it to your loved ones, you were happily thrust into the process of making preparations to welcome your little one into the world.

This, of course, included visits to your pack doctor, Rose Tenpenny. You had known Rose your entire life. She was a skilled pack healer and midwife who subscribed to ancient remedies and medicines, the knowledge of which had been passed down to her from her mother, and her mother’s mother before her. There was no one else you’d rather have look after your and your baby’s health than her. 

You were on cloud nine as baby preparations followed. The women of the pack got together to make a memory quilt for your baby. All the men set to work building furniture for the nursery. And, best of all, Rhett took it upon himself to build a cradle for the babe. He was skilled with his hands, and he considered it the greatest honor to build this little bed for your child. He put so much love into the creation of that bed, and it touched your heart. 

Everything seemed so perfect. Too good to be true. It felt as if nothing could ever take this joy away from you. That is, until it all came crashing down like a mountain avalanche. 

Ever since your union with Rhett, you had had a rocky relationship with his brother, Perry. Rhett himself had a complicated past with the man, and since your marriage, he had distanced himself from his brother. He didn’t like the way Perry behaved toward you. Both of you knew it was because Perry harbored jealousy against Rhett. 

He was jealous of what you had. Jealous that his little brother had a mate and he didn’t. But the reason Perry didn’t have a mate was because of his own stupidity. He had tried to force it to happen on his own rather than waiting for fate. He fell for a girl named Rebecca. She wasn’t his mate, but he insisted she was. Claimed everyone else didn’t know what they were talking about. 

Perry had somehow manipulated Rebecca into believing they were mates. Or, at least, from what Rhett could see, she just went along with it to keep Perry happy. If she wanted to leave, the intention was dashed when she fell pregnant with his child. 

She made the decision to stick it out and see if a baby would change Perry’s demeanor. But it didn’t. In fact, it seemed that he only got worse after Amy was born. Rebecca put up with it for the first seven years of Amy’s life, and finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. She disappeared into the night, seemingly without a trace. 

Perry insisted something had happened. That she would never leave of her own free will. Someone had to have taken her. Rhett, however, believed that she did leave on her own. 

You knew things had to be bad for her to leave her own child behind. That went against every instinct of a mother wolf. It made you wonder if there was more to the story. If she’d left with the intention of coming back for her child, but she had met an untimely demise in the process. You supposed you would never receive an answer to that question. 

Perry delusionally claimed that he could still feel her out there. Between mates, it was a natural occurrence to be able to feel the other’s presence. And many times, when one was in danger, the other could sense it. Perry insisted he had this with Rebecca, but you knew he didn’t. He had no idea where she was because she wasn’t his to begin with. 

In the meantime, his jealousy against his brother only continued to fester. Their relationship had already been strained as it was, but since Rhett had brought you into the picture, it was even worse. The only good thing to come out of it was your relationship with young Amy. 

She was sweet as pie and even at her age, she knew the way her father behaved was wrong. It broke your heart that she had to deal with such things, but she didn’t let it slow her down, or change the way she felt about you and Uncle Rhett. 

Perry attempted to remain civil while Amy was around, but there were times when he just couldn’t help but run his mouth and get himself in trouble. It had happened on numerous occasions, to the point where Rhett didn’t like bringing you around him 

And after you found out you were expecting, your mate grew all the more protective of you. This primal need to keep you safe burned in his belly, and he wouldn’t allow anyone to harm or disrespect you. 

But no matter how protective of you he became, Rhett always had full control over his wolf at all times. He could shift at will, and even when he was intensely angry or upset, he could still control the shift and keep himself from going off the rails. But Perry did not have that same control, and because of this, Rhett was always on guard when he was present around you. 

His older brother was notorious for losing his temper. Rhett had seen it time and time again. Perry had always been like this. Even as a young boy. 

When werewolf pups are born, they are born entirely human, and do not yet possess the ability to shift. That ability usually comes at around ten years of age. 

And Perry gained that ability like clockwork on his tenth birthday. Teaching him how to control the shift was a beast in and of itself for Royal and Cecilia. They struggled like hell to help him learn how to shift at will rather than involuntarily. 

Around that time, Rhett was still very small. It proved incredibly difficult to raise a little one and train a brand-new wolf. Some things fell by the wayside. Rhett did not receive the love and attention he so desperately needed during that moment in time. It was hard for him to get acclimated as he grew older. 

But he saw the way Perry was, how wild his wolf was, and he decided that when his own wolf came in, he would be nothing like his brother. He would learn control. 

And he did. Royal and Cecilia hoped Rhett’s ability would rub off on Perry. But, unfortunately, it did not. Instead, Perry got into trouble, and Rhett was always lumped in because he followed his brother around everywhere. 

But the worst moment of all was the day Perry lost control at school. 

There had always been high tensions between the Tillersons and the Abbott brothers. The three boys had an innate hatred of wolves, a prejudice ingrained within them thanks to their parents. Luke and Billy weren’t particularly aggressive toward Perry and Rhett. But Trevor? He and Perry especially hated each other. 

Trevor was known for mouthing off. He’d mouth off at his parents, at his teachers, at innocent passersby in the school hallways. He was a loose canon, and it was only a matter of time before he went off on the wrong person. 

Trevor foolishly decided he was going to mess with Perry that day. He caught him in the empty hallway as Perry and Rhett were leaving school. He started jeering Perry, daring him to “go werewolf” on him. Rhett, who was only twelve at the time, and significantly younger and smaller than Trevor and Perry, tried his best to pull Perry away. 

But it was no use. The situation escalated until Perry was lunging, and suddenly, there was screaming, and Trevor was on the floor, clutching at his throat as blood poured from a slash wound caused by Perry’s claws. 

“What did you do?!” Luke shouted as he knelt beside his wounded big brother. “You’re dead, Abbott! You hear me?! Dead!” 

A teacher heard the commotion and came out, only to realize in horror what had happened. 911 was called, as were the Abbott and Tillerson parents. Perry was kept locked in a classroom, alone, until further help could arrive. 

In the end, Trevor’s wound was only superficial, and he would go on to make a full recovery. However, he would walk away with a permanent scar on his neck. Four claw marks, acting as a permanent reminder that he’d been attacked by a wolf. 

The offense should have garnered a heavier punishment. Patricia Tillerson was out for blood. She wanted to kill Perry for what he’d done to her son. But Wayne had a different approach. As money hungry as he was, he was fine to settle on a payment for what had happened. 

Royal paid the Tillersons a hefty sum of money, which nearly drove his own family into financial ruin. They were already struggling to stay afloat as it was, and giving away that big of a sum of money set them back severely. But if he paid the sum, the hunters would leave the Abbotts alone. 

So he gave them the money, and after that, the Tillerson boys were enrolled in a private school the next town over, and the instance was swept under the rug. 

Angry over how it was handled, and the lack of justice for her son’s pain, Patricia threatened to leave Wayne. He told her to go, but his condition was that she couldn’t take her boys with her. He refused to let his sons go, and he threatened blackmail if she went ahead and took them anyway. So she left, alone and angry, determining that one day, she would gain the retribution she sought. 

It took many years, but that opportunity finally presented itself when Wayne Tillerson dropped dead. 

You’d heard about his death. The whole town had. But you didn’t care in the least. As far as you were concerned, one less werewolf hunter in the world, the better. But that still left three of his sons. 

When Wayne was alive, he refused to let anyone but his lawyer and his accountant read any legal or financial papers. He didn’t let his sons get involved. But when his health started failing him, it became necessary for the boys to step in. As the eldest, Trevor took that mantle upon himself. 

But it wasn’t until his father died that he really started doing a deep dive into the seemingly endless paperwork. Financial statements, property deeds, the whole nine. For Trevor, it was the property deeds that caught his attention. Specifically the deed for the land on which the Abbotts lived. 

He noticed an interesting little tidbit. It appeared that the property line had been mistakenly marked, and needed to be moved back a significant distance. But it just so happened that that specific plot of land was where you and Rhett lived. 

Driven by greed, Trevor took the deed to the family lawyer, insistent upon getting the go-ahead to deliver the news himself. It wasn’t difficult, and soon, he was headed right for the reservation, smug as could be, ready to deliver the blow to your family. 

However, when he came lumbering up to your house and knocked loudly on the door, he received no answer. “Abbott!” He shouted, banging a little louder. But the house was empty. You and Rhett had left earlier that morning so you could go in for your monthly prenatal checkup with the pack doctor. You were both blissfully unaware that your lives were about to be turned upside down. 

Back at your house, Trevor was tempted to shove the legal paper he held in his hand in your mailbox, but his heart was set on delivering it in person. However, he saw the next best person to deliver it to when he caught a glimpse of Perry just down the way, saddling up his horse. 

A smirk tugged at the eldest Tillerson’s mouth. He brushed his fingers over the claw marks that scarred his neck. Maybe this could be his way of getting back at Perry for what he’d done to him all those years ago. 

So he marched right toward the stables, and when Perry saw him coming, he visibly tensed. He hadn’t seen Trevor in a long time. As volatile as Perry was, even he himself had no desire to get into it with the man. He knew he’d end up killing him if given the chance, so he kept his distance. 

Now, however, Trevor was coming right at him, and there was no way of keeping his distance any longer. 

“Hey, Abbott!” He called. 

Perry sighed. “What?”

“Any idea where that brother a’ yours is?”

Perry shrugged as he tightened the cinch on the saddle. “Fuck if I know,” he mumbled. 

“Well, I have a little somethin’ for him.”

“Huh, guess you’ll have t’ wait ‘til he gets back.”

“I figured I’d just give it to you instead, an’ you can pass the word along.”

Perry rolled his eyes, stepping back toward the stable when he realized he’d set his hat down inside. “I ain’t your messenger, Trevor. Just leave it at his doorstep or somethin’.”

“Thing is, I really wanted to deliver it in person,” Trevor continued, following Perry into the stable. “I want you to read it, too.”

Again, the Abbott brother rolled his eyes, whirling around to snatch the paper from Trevor. “Fine! I’ll give it to ‘im, if that’ll get you off our fuckin’ property.”

At those words, Trevor’s smirk turned into a wicked grin. “Actually, it ain’t your property.”

That caught Perry’s attention. “What?”

“Read it.”

With furrowed brow, Perry quickly unfolded the paper and his eyes skimmed over its contents. Heat flared in his chest. “This is fuckin’ bullshit.”

“You wish. It’s legit. Either you all move that fence of yours back, or you’ll get fined by the state. And you and I both know you ain’t got the money to pay that fine, since your daddy gave it all away to get us to keep our mouths shut about what you did to me when we were kids.”

That struck a chord. The heat in Perry’s chest grew hotter. “You’re just lucky it wasn’t worse,” he grumbled. 

Trevor scoffed. “So you’re saying I should be thankin’ you for not ripping out my throat?” He laughed heartily, though it was fake. “Fuck you, Abbott.” His first mistake was reaching out to shove at Perry. 

The wolf growled, his eyes flashing yellow. “Get your goddamn hands off me.”

“What are y’gonna do, hm? Kill me? Maim me?”

Perry got in his face. His body trembled as he fought to control his shift. But he had no control, because he’d never learned it. “You got five seconds to get the fuck outta here.”

But Trevor wasn’t afraid. He stood chest to chest, hunter to wolf. “Do it. I dare you. Then they’ll come lookin’ for me, and when they find out you killed me it’s over for you wolves. Is that what you want? To destroy all that civil rights shit your kind fought for?”

Perry seemed to consider his words, and Trevor nodded in satisfaction. “That’s what I thought. You don’t have the balls.” And then, as he was prone to do, he had to add one last blow to his monologue. “Bet that’s why your wife left you. She realized you were a spineless fuckin’ co-”

He never did finish those words. In mere seconds, Perry was lunging, growling, out of control. And then, Trevor was on the hay-scattered floor, bleeding out, his throat slashed like it had been so many years ago. Except, this time, he wasn’t walking away alive. 

Perry stood over his body, his chest heaving, growling like a wild animal. The paper he’d been holding had fluttered to the floor, and the breeze blew it into a corner to be forgotten. 

Just like that, Trevor Tillerson was dead, and as the blinding red rage cleared from Perry’s vision, he realized what he’d done. He stood there, staring at the blood on his hands, and the blood on the floor, and he felt as if he was frozen in place, his feet fastened to the floor with concrete.

What should he do? He’d just killed a goddamn human. If news got out about this, it would be very, very bad, not just for the Abbott pack, but for the entire werewolf community. But Perry was very quickly beginning to panic, unsure of how to fix the egregious crime he had just committed. 

So he did the only thing he knew how. He scrambled out of that barn, climbed onto the back of his horse, and set off at a gallop to his father’s house just down the way. It was nearly lunchtime, so he knew that Royal would likely be home, in the kitchen, waiting as Cecilia prepared his lunch for him.

The kitchen was quiet, save for the sound of Cecilia humming as she readied the food. Until, suddenly, Perry came bursting through the door like a bat out of hell. She dropped the knife she was holding. “Good Lord, Perry!” She exclaimed.

Royal looked up, brows raised. And that’s when he saw the blood. Cecilia also noticed, and she put a hand to her mouth. “What on earth happened?!”

Perry looked at Royal, entirely ignoring his mother. “Dad, I need help.”

Just by looking at his son, Royal seemed to know what ‘help’ entailed. He stood from his seat, already moving to grab his hat from the peg near the door. 

“Royal, what-”

“I’ll be back soon, save me a plate,” he simply said as he followed his son out the door. 

Cecilia fought the urge to chase after them. She wasn’t stupid. She knew what that blood meant. And she’d picked up on a specific scent when Perry came in. A scent she knew, but was too afraid to admit it. The less she knew, the better. But she had a feeling she was going to find out what had happened sooner than later. 

Outside, Royal had a plan. “C’mere,” he said to his son, motioning him toward the garden hose. “First of all you need to wash this shit off so you don’t get it everywhere.”

Perry proceeded to scrub the blood from his hands, and then Royal led him to the truck. “You mind tellin’ me what the fuck happened?” He asked, voice low. 

Perry sighed, lowering his head. “Trevor Tillerson came snoopin’ around.”

“Yeah, I know that, I can fuckin’ smell him on you. How did it end with you covered in his goddamn blood?!”

So, Perry recounted what had happened. Every last detail. And as he spoke, Royal paced back and forth, his boots kicking up gravel as he did so. Once his son finished, he stopped, turning to look at him. “Alright then. Let’s fix this. Before your brother gets back. The less people are involved in this, the better.”

“You…you ain’t callin’ the sheriff?” Perry asked in disbelief. 

“I call the sheriff, not only do you go to jail, but it puts this whole fuckin’ pack in danger. I ain’t gonna let a group of humans run us outta our home. So we’re takin’ care of this ourselves.” He jabbed his thumb toward Perry’s horse. “Go take the tack off that horse and toss it in the back of the truck. You probably got blood all over it and that’s just gonna act as evidence if anyone comes snoopin’ around here.”

And so, the two Abbott men set about covering up the crime. They placed Trevor’s body in the back of the truck, they scrubbed the stables clean, and then, Royal instructed Perry to get into Trevor’s truck and follow after him. Royal drove his own truck and Perry followed him deep into the west pasture and as far up into the woods that the vehicles would allow them to. Then they carried Trevor the rest of the way until they came upon a good spot to bury him. 

All of this took quite some time, and by the time the body was in the ground, Royal breathlessly turned to Perry. “Drive the truck up to Lover’s Lake and let it sink.”

And so, Perry did what he was told. 

Just like that, the crime was covered up. Trevor Tillerson was six feet under, and the only two people in the world who knew about it were Royal and Perry. But it wouldn’t stay that way for long. 

In the meantime, you and Rhett were just arriving home from your midwife appointment, blissfully unaware of what had just taken place. You were purely, incandescently happy. Doctor Tenpenny had given you a gleaming bill of health. The tiny babe within you was growing just as she should. 

You were still quite early on, so you hadn’t begun to show yet. But that didn’t stop Rhett from resting his large hand against your belly from where he sat beside you in the rickety old GMC Sierra he drove. He was so very excited to be a father. The excitement sparkled in his eyes and you swore that blue had gotten impossibly brighter.

“I am so fuckin’ in love with you, little wolf,” he murmured once he’d thrown the truck into park. He leaned across the seat to kiss you sweetly. 

You smiled against his mouth before you replied. “I’m so fuckin’ in love with you too.”

“M’ sweet wife.” His thumb ran circles over your abdomen. “Can’t wait to see you all round with my pup.”

You hummed, eyes fluttering shut as you relished in his warm touch. “Soon,” you assured him. 

“I know. It’ll happen quicker than we can blink. Then we’ll be holdin’ our brand new baby girl.”

You kissed him again, unable to voice your feelings, because the words got caught in your throat. But that was okay, because no other words were needed. 

Soon, Rhett slipped away and rounded the truck to open your door for you, which you gratefully accepted. “I was thinkin’,” he said, his arm slung around you as you walked up to the house. “Maybe I’d stop in town and grab us some lunch? I gotta bring the horses in from pasture first but after that I’ll get goin’.”

“Oh, would you?! I’ve been craving fries from Lucinda’s!” You exclaimed. 

He smirked. “I know. As if you didn’t give me enough hints by sayin’ ‘I could really go for some fries!’ all mornin’,” he teased. 

“Sorry, I’m just starving,” you said with a laugh. 

“I’ll get ya your fries,” he assured you, “an’ a milkshake, too.”

Happily, you leaned in to kiss his cheek. “You’re the best.”

“I know,” he said right back with a knowing glint in his eyes. 

You pushed at his chest as you shook your head at him. “Go tend to the horses, wolf boy.”

He stole another kiss from you, playfully swatting at your ass before he finally slipped away, allowing you to head back inside, your heart warm as you did so. 

He headed over to the stables, and when the grazing horses saw him they immediately perked up. Particularly his mare, Esmeralda. She trotted up to the fence, letting out an excited whinny. 

“Hey t’ you too, girl,” he said, reaching out to scratch her chin, her favorite place to receive pets. She eagerly searched his flannel pocket for treats, but came up with nothing. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Got tied up takin’ mama to the doc. I’ll bring ya somethin’ next time.” He kissed her muzzle, and then he pulled back to saunter over to the stable so he could pull the doors open. 

On his way up the lane, he caught sight of Perry approaching on horseback. But he noticed something a little off. The horse wasn’t saddled, nor was he wearing a bridle. 

“The fuck you ridin’ bareback for?” Rhett asked with a slight laugh, raising a brow at his brother as he got closer. 

“Cause I felt like it,” Perry mumbled as he slowed the horse and finally slid to the ground, boots kicking up gravel. 

“I’ve never seen you ride without a saddle in my life,” Rhett continued. 

“There’s a first time for everythin’,” Perry dismissed. 

Rhett eyed him. He seemed a little…off. Not like himself. “Per, you feelin’ alright?”

“‘m fine,” he snapped. 

Rhett sighed, shaking his head at his brother’s antics. He wasn’t sure what had gotten up his craw, but he decided it best not to ask questions. 

Until he stepped into the stable as Perry led his horse to his stall. A strange scent hit Rhett as soon as he crossed the threshold. Strong and chemical, like bleach. But there was something else, something underlying. He breathed in deep, his face comforting in confusion. 

“You smell that?” He called to Perry. 

His first clue as to something being wrong should’ve been that Perry froze. “I don’t smell anythin’,” he said as he opened the stall door. 

“Bullshit, it’s strong as hell,” Rhett countered. He stepped further into the building and breathed in. “I smell blood.”

Perry didn’t say a word, but just from his posture, Rhett knew he was lying. He never was good at hiding his guilt. As soon as he pulled away from the stall and moved to leave the stable, Rhett stepped into his path, blocking him. 

“Why the fuck does it smell like blood and bleach in my stable?” He demanded, voice low, gaze hard. 

Perry’s wide, brown eyes flickered away, looking everywhere but his brother’s face. He didn’t say a word, and it sent a flash of sizzling anger through Rhett, like a bolt of lightning. “Perry!” He barked. 

“Get outta my way, Rhett.”

“No! What did you do, huh?! Hurt one of my horses?!” Rhett wouldn’t stand for harm to come to any of his animals. He’d beat Perry to a pulp if he found out he’d hurt one. 

“I didn’t touch y’re fuckin horses!” Perry snapped. 

Rhett could hear how fast Perry’s heart was beating, pounding erratically against his rib cage. He was lying. “If it ain’t horse blood, then whose is it?”

A beat of hesitation. Then another. And soon, it became clear that Perry wasn’t going to say a word. Rhett growled angrily and finally stepped aside. “Get the fuck out.”

And he did. Perry hightailed it out of that stable, guilt weight at his shoulders. Rhett was going to get to the bottom of this one way or another. But for now, he had a group of restless horses to tend to. 

With a deep sigh, he rolled his head to loosen the tension in his neck, and then proceeded to get the horses gathered and into the stable. Just to be safe, he checked each one over for any potential injuries. But they were all unharmed, as he’d expected. 

Rhett wasn’t stupid. He knew that the scent he’d caught wasn’t horse. It was human. This was someone he knew, because he recognized the underlying scent. But he didn’t want to say it out loud, didn’t want to admit who it was because then that would mean… surely his brother hadn’t killed someone, right? Perry was volatile at times but he’d never killed anyone. However, Rhett knew perfectly well what the man was capable of. 

He’d seen him lose his temper. He’d seen the way Perry couldn’t control his wolf. He was capable of killing. He was one step closer to going rogue and that thought made Rhett’s stomach turn. 

He hoped it wouldn’t come to that point. 

In the meantime, there were other things to tend to. Rhett decided he didn’t want to go snooping. He was afraid he would find something that he wished he never knew. So, he shook the thoughts out of his head and proceeded to get the horses situated. 

A little while later, he was finally making his way back to the truck, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. A shower sounded appealing, but his first order of business was, of course, picking up lunch for you. 

It was a thirty-minute drive into town, so by the time he returned, it had been over an hour that he’d been gone. In that time he’d tried to push the incident with Perry out of his mind. He knew that you would notice something was wrong, and he didn’t want to potentially drag you into whatever mess his brother had just made. You were meant to be enjoying this time as you prepared to welcome your little one, he didn’t want to put any undue stress on your shoulders. 

So he put his best face forward and sauntered into the house with milkshakes and bags of French fries in hand. You’d heard him pull up, and you eagerly hopped up off the couch, where you’d been reading a book that your midwife had given you. 

“I was about to start gnawing on the couch,” you remarked with a smile as you scurried up to kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks for picking this up. You’re so good to me.”

“Anythin’ for you, little wolf,” he hummed. He never thought he’d turn into such a sap, but having a pregnant mate will do that to a guy. Not that he minded. You were worth getting sappy over. 

“You still gonna call me little wolf once our little is born?” You asked him as you settled at the kitchen table, eager to tear open your bag of fries. 

Rhett smiled as he sat across from you. “You’ll always be m’ little wolf. Even when we’ve got a little wolf of our own.”

His words warmed your chest. He made you feel so loved. You couldn’t wait to see that love translate into the way he handled your daughter. He was going to be a wonderful father, you just knew it. 

Your meal progressed with comfortable conversation, the two of you discussing your plans for the rest of the day, and what the schedule looked like tomorrow. It was a sort of domesticity that you loved. 

After lunch, it was back to business as usual. The day continued like any other, with nothing seemingly out of the ordinary. Rhett had even sort of forgotten about his encounter with Perry in the stable, and went about his work day like normal. 

By the time evening rolled around, everything seemed perfectly fine. Rhett came inside to shower, and you got dinner on the table like you usually did, one of your favorite records playing on the antique record player you kept in the living room. 

Rhett was still in the shower as you began setting the table, and you were interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up. Then there were hurried footsteps, and seconds later, the sound of pounding on your door. 

Brow furrowed, you set the plate you’d been holding onto the table, tuning in to the agitated voices of two men on your porch. Something was wrong. Wiping your hands on your apron, you strolled over to the door, rolling your eyes when the pounding came again. 

You pulled the door open to reveal Luke and Billy Tillerson. You stared at them in surprise. You’d heard of them plenty of times. You knew what the Tillerson name meant. But you’d never met them. Now here they were, standing right in front of you, and you could tell something was wrong. 

“Can I help you?”

“Beggin’ your pardon, Mrs. Abbott. Is your man home?” Luke spoke. He offered a charming smile, as if it fixed everything. 

“He’s busy. Why do you ask?”

The man shrugged. “Just need to ask him a couple questions, is all. We can wait right here for him.”

“We’re about to sit down to dinner. Can you come back tomorrow?” You offered. You got the sense that they suspected your husband of something. It made your heart quicken in your chest. 

Luke narrowed his eyes, still fighting to be polite. “Now would be preferable. Really gotta talk to him.”

“Well, like I said, we’re about to—”

Suddenly, there was a strong hand on your shoulder, and Rhett was gently pulling you back, placing you safely behind him as he stepped into the doorway. “Hope you ain’t botherin’ my wife,” he said. 

Luke raised a brow. “Botherin’ her? I was askin’ where you were. Mind steppin’ outside so we can talk?”

Rhett had a sneaking suspicion as to what this was about. So he turned to you. “Stay inside. I’ll be back in a minute.” He left no room for debate. 

Quickly, he stepped outside, pulling the door shut. He motioned for both men to follow him off the porch, leading them a little ways away from the house, hoping your enhanced hearing wouldn’t pick up on the conversation. 

 “What do ya want?”

“Trevor came up here earlier today. He hasn’t been home since.”

Rhett remained neutral in expression, but the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. “Really? I didn’t see him. You sure he was here?”

“Yes, I’m sure! Came here himself to give you papers about the land you’re on.”

Rhett’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Papers? What papers?”

Behind his brother, Billy huffed. “Oh, come on. Don’t play dumb with us.”

“No, I’m bein’ serious! What papers?!”

Luke folded his arms over his chest, shifting his weight to one foot. “He came up here around 9 o’clock this mornin’ to give you papers tellin’ you that you have to move the property line back. The land you’re on right now isn’t yours.”

Rhett felt his chest tightening. “I don’t know anything about any fuckin’ papers. But I do know this land belongs to my pack and you ain’t takin’ it.”

“Look, I’m not the one who wanted to kick you off the land. If it was up to me I wouldn’t really give a shit, as long as you all keep to yourselves. But Trev cares. He talked to the lawyer. Got him to put some papers together tellin’ you to move. You’re really tellin’ the truth when you say you never got the papers?”

“I didn’t get the damn papers. I never saw Trev. I was gone this mornin’ with my wife. Didn’t come back ‘til around 10:45. Then I brought m’ horses in from pasture and went into town. I didn’t see hide nor hair of Trevor the whole time and that’s the God-honest truth.”

Luke sighed deeply, nodding his head. “Alright, alright. I believe ya. Thing is, we haven’t been able to get ahold of Trevor all day. Somethin’ happened.”

Rhett could take a pretty good guess as to what had really happened. He was putting the puzzle pieces together in his head, and his blood was beginning to boil with rage. He was tempted to tell them to go ask Perry, but he held his tongue. Part of him feared what might happen if he blew the whistle. What would it mean for the pack? Even so, he kept himself calm and steady and refused to give away 

“Listen, if I hear or see anythin’, I’ll let you boys know. Until then, I’d like t’ have a nice dinner with my wife.”

It didn’t seem like Luke wanted to let it go, but he finally relented. “Fine. But this isn’t over.”

He nodded at Billy, and the two brothers turned and walked back toward their shiny new truck. Rhett remained fixed upon the driveway, his arms crossed over his chest, making sure that they actually left. 

As soon as they were out of sight, he sighed deeply, bowing his head. He was torn. Should he confront Perry and try to get him to confess? Or should he just leave it? After all, the less he knew, the better. 

Rhett thought of you, and the daughter you were expecting. He didn’t want anything to endanger your future. What would happen if it got out that a wolf had killed a human? All eyes in America would be on their community. Years of rights that had been fought for could be threatened. 

Of course, that was the worst-case scenario. In reality, it could only end up being Perry who would pay for the crime. Maybe justice would be served fairly. But in his heart, Rhett knew that wasn’t the case. Trevor Tillerson had been looking for an excuse to run the wolves into the ground. Maybe he’d get his wish from beyond the grave. 

“Rhett?” Your soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. He turned to find you standing in the doorway of your home, a look of concern on your face. “What’s going on?” You’d only caught bits and pieces of the conversation. Your heightened hearing was very useful, but you had to really focus to be able to utilize it. You had thought it best not to listen to what the men were saying, even if you were curious. If Rhett told you to stay inside, you knew he must have sensed some sort of danger. 

He didn’t want to involve you in this any more than he had to. He worried that he might get pulled into it, and he didn’t want to take you down with him. He shook his head, letting out a sigh as he sauntered back to the porch. “Just…just don’t worry about it, alright? Let’s eat supper.”

“You’re not in trouble, are you?” You asked in fear. The prospect of hunters on your property made you uneasy. 

“Nah, nothin’ like that. It’s better if we don’t talk about it for now. Let’s just eat supper.”

So you dropped it, even though you didn’t want to. The way his features had gone tense told you not to keep pushing. If he wanted you to know more, he would tell you. 

Dinner continued as normal that night, but Rhett was quieter than he usually was, very clearly troubled by something. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” You reiterated as you stood at the sink washing dishes, with Rhett beside you drying them. 

“Darlin’, I’m askin’ you right now not to bring it up. I…I don’t like keepin’ things from you but I’ve gotta think this one over before I say anythin’. Understand?”

You nodded, turning your body to face him. “Okay. You’re just worrying me, is all.”

Rhett sighed softly and tossed his dish towel aside before he reached out, large hands resting on your hips and pulling you close. “I’ve gotta do what I have to to protect you and our pup. And that’s what I’m doin’ right now. Protectin’ you. And askin’ you to trust me.”

You placed your hands on his chest, meeting his gaze. “I do trust you.”

That was all he needed to hear. 

Over the next few days, he was still waging a war in his mind, trying to decide what to do. It was almost as if he was in denial. If he didn’t acknowledge Perry, if he didn’t confront him about the crime, it didn’t happen. Everything was fine. 

But as he was cleaning out the stalls in the stable one morning while the horses were out to pasture, he came across something very incriminating. A crumpled piece of paper shoved away in a corner of a stall, forgotten.

Curious, Rhett bent to grab it, straightening up and letting his pitchfork rest against his side as he opened the paper. He scanned the words printed across the page, and his stomach dropped. So this was what Luke had been talking about. 

Rhett stared at the paper, trembling in his grasp because his hand was beginning to shake from the anger bubbling up within him. This only confirmed what he suspected. But before he flew off the handle, he needed to get to the bottom of this. He needed to ask Perry what had really happened. 

So Rhett tucked the paper in the pocket of his jeans, set his pitchfork aside, put his hat back on his head, and set off toward the Abbott house up the lane. He walked with purpose, his eyes set hard ahead of him. 

He could see his brother and his father up ahead, both working on a repair in the corral fence that stood in front of the house. Royal was the first to catch sight of Rhett, and he nodded in silent greeting, curious as to why his son was in such a hurry. 

“Rhett,” he called out to acknowledge the younger man’s presence. 

But Rhett wasn’t there for Royal. “Can I borrow Perry for a sec?” He asked. His tone was urgent. He didn’t miss the way Perry went tense. 

“Can it wait?” Royal asked. “Gotta get this fence done, we got a new horse comin’ in today and it needs to be ready.”

“It’ll only take a few minutes,” Rhett countered. 

Perry sighed, but relented, setting down the crowbar in his hands before he turned and stepped out from under the fence. Rhett was already moving, encouraging his brother to follow him as he walked away from the corral. 

When Rhett finally stopped, he pulled the piece of paper he’d found in the stable from his pocket. “Mind tellin’ me what this is?” He needed to hear it from his brother’s mouth. 

Perry went still as a statue, his face pale. That reaction sent fire through Rhett, and his grip tightened on the paper, crumpling the end. “What the fuck did you do?” He hissed. 

“N-nothin’!” Perry tried. 

“Bullshit! I want you to say it! What happened in my stable, huh?! The blood I smelled? Now this paper? I know Trevor Tillerson was up here the other day. Luke came lookin’ for him that same night. I didn’t wanna believe that you were capable of somethin’ like this, but maybe you are.”

Perry was hesitating. He’d gone dead silent, as if he was frozen in place. He didn’t know what to say. And that only served to piss Rhett off. 

“Talk to me, goddammit!” 

“He wouldn’t shut up,” Perry finally relented. “Kept runnin’ his mouth off and I just…I snapped.”

Rhett stared at him. Eyes wide. Chest heaving. He let those words wash over him, and they felt like searing acid on his skin. “You…snapped?”

“He said somethin’ about Rebecca and I just saw red! Next thing I knew he was on the ground covered in blood!” Perry was trembling. Tears were shining in his eyes. 

Rhett was vibrating. “You fucking killed him. In my stable.”

“Like I said, I just snapped!”

The younger Abbott could hardly bear to look at his brother. His head was spinning. Deep down he’d known Perry was guilty. That he’d killed Trevor. But now that he’d actually admitted it? It felt like a gut punch. 

“I can’t believe you…” Rhett trailed off, hands clenching at his sides. “No, I can believe it. You’re out of fuckin’ control, Per. This is serious, you hear me? You just put the whole pack in danger!” 

“I–” Perry started, but Rhett held up his hand. 

“No, y’know what? You’re gon’ make this right. You’ve got two days to clean up the mess you made. Either you go to the sheriff, or I will. And if I have to do it, it ain’t gon’ be pretty.”

He shoved the paper into Perry’s hands. Then he got in his face, chest to chest. “If they start goin’ after this pack, there ain’t gonna be a place safe in heaven and earth for you. And if you think I’ll protect you when they do, you’ve got another thing comin’.”

Then, Rhett turned on his heel and stormed off, leaving Perry standing there in the driveway, staring down at the paper that had started it all. For the first time since he’d killed Trevor, the severity of the situation seemed to set in. He thought of Amy, his young daughter, and how this would affect her. If he lost her, he had nothing left. Could he really go through with confessing to this crime? Even if it meant losing what was left of his family? 

Rhett was a man of his word. If Perry didn’t confess, he would do it for him, just as he said he would. But Perry felt lost. Uncertain. His judgment was clouded by his own guilt. So he turned to his father again, asking for help, because he didn’t know what to do. Royal would have an answer. Surely he would. 

“I’ll talk to Rhett,” the Abbott patriarch assured his eldest son. “See if I can talk him off the ledge. I ain’t gonna let Amy lose you like she lost her ma, alright? She needs her daddy now more ‘an ever. I’ll fix this, son.”

But this was not something that could easily be fixed like a downed corral fence. It was a sinking ship with a cracked hull that no amount of sealant could repair. And whoever remained left on board would surely drown in the depths of the ocean.

In the meantime, Rhett was reeling. Now that he knew the truth, he worried that the Tillersons might show up on his doorstep again. And this time, he wasn't sure if he could lie. He was worried that they had begun to suspect him of having something to do with Trevor’s disappearance. He might soon be faced with the choice of staying quiet, or exposing his brother's nefarious deed just to save himself from being accused of it. He would not go to jail for something he didn’t do. He had a wife and a child to think about. 

And when faced with a choice between his mate and his brother, Rhett would always choose you. 

He hoped that Perry would do the right thing and confess to his wrongdoing. But if he made no move to fix the mess he made in two days’ time, Rhett would have no choice but to intervene. It was necessary for the good of the pack. 

However, things were already spiraling out of control quicker than he even realized. 

Just across town, on the Tillerson ranch, a sleek, black limousine was just pulling into the expansive driveway. Luke and Billy stood outside the house, waiting for the lone passenger to step out of the car. 

The driver came around and opened the door, and moments later, Patricia Tillerson gracefully emerged from the back of the limousine, her heeled boots kicking up dust as she did so. 

She stood there for a moment, reaching up to remove her sunglasses as she eyed her sons. “First your father. Now this?” She finally spoke. She had been in town a few short months ago for Wayne’s funeral. Now, here she was again, under an entirely different circumstance. “Have you made any headway into finding your brother?”

Luke shook his head. “We were waitin’ for you before we did anything else.”

Patricia sighed. “This whole time you could’ve been– you know what? Nevermind. Let’s talk inside.” She stepped past the two boys and made her way up to the large house, walking with purpose as she did so. 

Luke and Billy dutifully followed her. 

Patricia’s first stop was the liquor cabinet, where she poured herself a glass of brandy. Then she turned to her sons. “Tell me again what you’ve been doing to find Trevor?” Her gaze was hard. She didn’t think they’d been doing enough. 

“We…we went to the reservation the other day to ask around about him. Rhett Abbott claims he never saw him. I believe him, he’s an honest man, and–”

His mother scoffed. “Man? Luke, honey, he’s an animal. A savage beast, if you will. There’s no telling the lengths he’d go to throw you off his trail.”

“But Ma, I don’t think he was trying to throw us off,” Billy echoed, shaking his head. 

“Shows what you boys know about wolves. They’ll say anything to get off the hook. That fuckin’ pack had something to do with Trevor disappearing. And I pray to God it’s not the case, but they’ve more than likely killed him. Or worse, turned him into one of them. Either way, he’s dead. No son of mine will succumb to the werewolf curse. I’d sooner kill him than let him be turned.”

“So what do you want to do, then? You told me not to call the sheriff, so I didn’t. I’ve stayed silent about this, waiting for you to get here. The more time we waste, the less chance of finding him alive,” Luke pressed, motioning his arms impatiently. 

Patricia downed her brandy in one go. “If they have Trevor, they aren’t going to give him up easily. So we give them a little…incentive.”

Billy and Luke shared a look. “What kind of incentive?” Asked Billy. 

Their mother folded her arms over her chest, squaring her shoulders. “They took one of ours? We’re going to take one of theirs. We’ll interrogate ‘em while we’re at it, try to get some answers as to what really happened to Trevor.”

They were hunters. And Patricia the best of the best. It would be easy to get back at the Abbott pack. They just had to find the most vulnerable member. 

There were plenty to choose from. Between the little ones in your own family, and Amy on Rhett’s side, any number of those pups would be a good target. But Patricia Tillerson had done her research. 

It was Rhett’s portion of land they were after. And Rhett just so happened to have a mate. What better way to find his ultimate weakness than to steal the one he loved above all others? 

So, she instructed her boys to stake out the property. To track yours and Rhett’s whereabouts so they could discreetly step in and carry out their intended mission without him intervening. Because they knew, if he caught them, he would not let them go without a fight. And it was very likely that they would have to put him down if he came at them. 

How fortuitous it was that the very next day after they began their stakeout, you left the property to head into town, without Rhett. The only other person you had in tow was Amy, and she wasn’t a threat whatsoever. 

Luke shared a look with Billy. “Guess that’s our chance,” he remarked, and his younger brother nodded in agreement. 

So they followed you into town, sure to stay a good distance back so you didn’t suspect anything right off the bat. 

In the cab of Rhett’s truck, you and Amy were entirely unaware of the impending danger. You had a few errands to run in town, and Amy was always up for going on excursions with you. Although she had packmates her own age now, she had spent her whole life surrounded by adults, and had essentially been raised by her grandparents and Uncle Rhett, so it was a little difficult for her to integrate herself in with kids her own age. Even if those kids were also wolves like her. 

Besides, she’d had to grow up fast because of what had happened with losing her mother. Your heart ached for the part of her childhood that she’d lost, but she seemed to have adapted okay. Even so, you always made sure to include her whenever you had plans by yourself. She was always eager to spend time with you because she loved you for the way you loved her Uncle Rhett. 

“I’ve never seen him smile so much,” she’d told you, early on in your relationship with Rhett. “You make him so happy. I’m glad he found you.”

And from then on, a bond was formed between you and the little blonde girl. She didn’t have a mother, and it made your heart ache. So, in a way, you took on that role. You couldn’t fully raise her in the way her mother would, but you reached out to her and spent time with her as much as possible, in hopes of providing some sort of nurturing. 

And now there was a new baby on the way, and Amy was teeming with excitement at the prospect of welcoming a little cousin. You could tell she was going to be a big help to you once the baby finally came. She was already asking to babysit, when she got a little older, of course. 

Today, you were doing a little shopping to pick up some groceries for Cecilia for the family dinner that you were all having that night, and to buy odds and ends for the baby’s nursery. Amy was just bouncing with eagerness to help you pick things out. You also planned to take her out to lunch at the little diner in town, and you were going to try out the brand new cafe that had just opened. Wabang had little to no coffee shops at all, so a new one was the talk of the town. 

Amy didn’t drink coffee yet, even though Uncle Rhett once let her try some of the black coffee he always drank. She said it tasted like dirt water, and it turned her against coffee altogether. Instead, she was looking forward to having a strawberry banana smoothie as a treat to drink on the way home. 

Little did you know that you’d never make it home that day. 

You set about your errands without a care in the world, listening to Amy rattle off facts and highlights about the book she’d been reading lately. She talked your ear off, but you were perfectly happy to listen. 

You were unaware of the eyes watching you as you eventually crossed the street to stop at the butcher’s shop. Or when you finally ended the day by stopping at Half Moon Coffee. 

You didn’t notice anything until you were finally back on the road, headed for home. And this time, Luke didn’t bother trying to be inconspicuous. He followed you closely, and when you glanced in your rearview, you realized who was in that shiny new F150. 

Your stomach dropped, and you let your eyes flicker back to the road. Without saying a word to alarm Amy, you pressed the gas down, speeding up. Luke sped up as well. Your heart quickened in your chest. A feeling of ice cold dread settled in your gut, spreading throughout your extremities. 

“What’s wrong?” Amy asked beside you. She could sense your discomfort and hear your pounding heart. Although she had not yet developed the ability to shift into her wolf, her heightened senses had begun coming in clear and sharp. She picked up on things a lot quicker than she used to. 

“Nothing,” you lied.

“Are you sure? You’re scared.”

You knew you couldn’t lie to her. You glanced at her from the corner of your eye. “We’re being followed. I want you to grab my phone and call Uncle Rhett, okay?”

You knew Rhett would be able to sense that you were in danger. That was how it worked with mates. But you wanted Amy to call him so he was immediately aware of the situation and knew exactly where to find you. However, she never got the chance to call him, because in a split second, your assailant sped up, shot around you, and then, several feet ahead of you, slammed on his brakes. 

You shrieked in surprise, jamming your foot down onto your own brake. Amy let out a yelp, and your phone flew out of her hands and onto the floorboards. Instinctively, your arm shot out in front of her, protecting her from going forward. 

As you skidded to a stop, narrowly avoiding colliding with the other truck, your first thought was to back up and go the way you’d come. If you got close enough to town you might be able to ask for help. But something told you that it wasn’t going to be that easy. Even so, you tried it anyway, throwing the truck in reverse and frantically turning the wheel. You almost had it, too. If it wasn’t for Billy jumping out of the Ford and easily firing two arrows from a crossbow into the tires. 

You heard the hissing before you realized what it was. Then the truck shuddered, and you realized the tires were going flat. “No!” You cried. You hit the brakes again, and soon, the truck slid to a rough, jarring halt.  You could see the brothers quickly approaching through your side view mirror. 

“What do they want?!” Amy cried, trembling with fear beside you. 

You knew you had to protect her. So you turned to her, eyes locked into hers. “Get down on the floor. Stay in this truck and do not get out. See if you can call Uncle Rhett. I-I’ll get out and talk to them.”

But you never got the chance. Suddenly, your door was yanked open, and you gasped in surprise, coming face to face with Luke. 

“Get out of the truck,” he said. 

“Please, this isn’t–”

Billy lifted the crossbow, pointing it right at you. “Get out!” 

With trembling hands, you fumbled to unbuckle your seatbelt, chest tight with fear as you scrambled out of the truck. Behind you, you could hear Amy crying, scared out of her mind. 

“No!” She wailed, grabbing onto your arm in a futile attempt to keep you from going with them. 

“Amy, baby, let go of me!” You exclaimed, afraid they’d hurt her if she didn’t settle. But when you glanced back at her, you saw a wildness in her eyes. She’d already lost her mother, she was terrified of losing you, too. 

But in the blink of an eye, you were hauled out of the truck, kicking and screaming. Luke was strong, but you were a wolf, and you were stronger than him. It wasn’t that difficult to pull yourself out of his grasp, and you growled threateningly, whirling around to face both men, daring them to come closer.

But one had a crossbow fitted with silver arrows. You could tell by the way they glinted in the sun. If Billy shot you with one of them, it would not end well. Silver was was like poison for werewolves. And you thought of the babe inside you, and how it might harm her. You didn’t want to risk getting shot. 

But it was still your instinct to fight. “What do you want with me?!” You cried, baring your fangs, your eyes flashing gold. 

But both of them grabbed you at once, wrestling you against the side of the truck, even as you snarled and snapped and struggled. You managed to catch Luke by the face with your claws and leave a considerable slash in his cheek, at which he growled in pain. But it only angered him and his adrenaline made him even stronger. 

Amidst the scuffle, you felt something sharp against the side of your neck, like a pinprick, and then, a thick, metallic collar was fastened crudely around your throat just as your body began to betray you. 

You gasped, and suddenly, you had no control of your limbs. Your brain screamed at you to fight, to flee, to preserve yourself. But you couldn’t move. Before you even realized, you were plummeting toward the ground, and your vision swam with black spots until, finally, you succumbed to unconsciousness entirely. 

Billy looked at Luke as they stood over your crumpled form. “What should we do about the kid? Wanna take her with us too?” Billy asked. 

Luke sighed, reaching into his back pocket to grab a handkerchief to dab at the wound on his cheek. “Ma wouldn’t want us just to leave her. I’ll grab her, she could be useful. You get this one into the truck,” he motioned toward you before he sauntered around to the passenger side of your GMC. 

However, when he opened the door, expecting to find a distraught Amy, he came up with nothing. The cab was empty, and Amy was nowhere to be found. 

“What the fuck?” Luke whispered to himself. “Goddammit!” 

Where on earth could she have gone? All that surrounded the was open plains. In the amount of time it took to get you down, there was no way she could’ve found a hiding place that quickly. 

Hurriedly, Luke ducked to check beneath the truck, and the truck bed, only to come up empty-handed. He cursed again, kicking at one of the slashed tires. 

“She’s gone!” He exclaimed to his brother. 

Billy’s eyes went wide. “How?!” He asked as he shoved the bed cover closed on the F150, effectively covering up the fact that you were currently laying inside it. 

“I don’t know! I thought they couldn’t shift that young but maybe she did and that’s how she got the slip. I guess it’s not that big of a deal, but Ma will still be pissed we let her get away.”

Billy shrugged it off. “Whatever. We don’t even have to tell her the kid got away since she doesn’t know she was here to begin with. ‘sides, Rhett’s mate was who we were after anyway. We got what we came for. Let’s go.”

And so, the Tillerson boys climbed back into their truck and headed off toward their ranch, your unconscious body hidden in the back. 

Meanwhile, in that old, rickety GMC, a furry little wolf pup was just squeezing out from under the front seat, where she’d hidden herself from the view of the hunters. She crept toward the door, where she stuck her head out and sniffed at the air. She smelled the remnants of gasoline and exhaust, and she whimpered. 

Amy wasn’t sure how she’d ended up in this predicament. One moment, she was watching in terror as you were ripped away from her, and the next, she was shrinking, and when she looked down, her hands were little black paws. 

Driven by her fear, she managed to wedge herself beneath the bench and hide there until the Tillersons left. Now, she had no idea how to shift back to human, but she knew she had to get help. So she launched herself onto the dusty ground, and took off in the direction of home. 

Meanwhile, at the Abbott ranch, things were in upheaval. 

Rhett had been out with his father and brother, searching for a lost steer that had somehow gotten away from the herd. Rhett claimed a coyote probably got to it. Royal insisted the animal was simply lost. 

Halfway out into the south pasture, Rhett was hit with a sudden shock of anxiety, as if someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water on him. 

“Whoa,” he gently spoke to his mare Esmeralda, tugging on her reins to bring her to a stop. He gasped sharply as, all at once, this horrible, consuming wave of dread began spreading within his chest. 

“No,” he croaked, and just like that, his entire world began to spin off its axis. He clutched at his chest as his heart began to pound. It felt almost like a heart attack, except he knew it was nothing of the sort. 

You were in danger. 

“Somethin’s wrong!” He desperately shouted ahead to Royal and Perry. He hardly recognized his own voice. It was a guttural, anguished cry. 

He urged Esmeralda into a gallop, hurtling toward the other two men. “Gotta go back!” Rhett cried. He spoke your and Amy’s names, and that immediately got their attention. Together, the three of them set off for the house, with Rhett urging Esmeralda as fast as she could go. 

As soon as he made it to the house, he eased the horse to a stop and, quick as lightning, jumped to the ground. Although he had the ability to sense when you were in danger, that ability did not allow him to pinpoint your exact location. He had to follow you by sense alone, and the closer he got to you, the stronger that terrible ache in his chest would get, letting him know he was on the right track to find you. 

He’d never felt this before. Not to this magnitude. He had always been told that it was an intense feeling, indescribable in every sense. And it was. It was the strongest sensation he’d ever felt. Like his heart was outside of his body, pulling him toward you. 

The second his feet hit the ground, he was running, sprinting into the house in search of Royal’s truck keys. He startled his mother, who was in the kitchen making preparations for the dinner that night. 

“Goodness gracious, what’s happened?!” She asked her son. He shouted over his shoulder that you and Amy were in danger, and Cecilia gasped, her heart dropping at the thought of her granddaughter and daughter-in-law being harmed. 

Keys in hand, Rhett threw himself toward the old Ford Ranger, flinging open the door, ignoring the voices of his family members shouting after him. His vision was tunneled. The only thing that mattered was getting to you. He was just about to turn and tell Cecilia to inform your parents of what was happening, but then, altogether, he froze.

A chill ran down his spine, and he sucked in a ragged breath. “No,” he wheezed. “No, no, no.”

“I-I can’t feel her,” he whispered. He wrenched the truck door back open, and he locked eyes with his mother, who was waiting concernedly nearby. His knees nearly buckled as his feet hit the ground. He stumbled forward, and Cecilia caught him. “Mama, I can’t…I can’t feel her!”

“What do you mean you can’t feel her?” She asked her son. But she knew. 

“She’s…she’s just gone! I can’t…I don’t…” Rhett could hardly speak. His throat felt like it was constricting, cutting off his airflow. A harrowing sense of dread washed over him. He knew what this meant. All of them did. If a werewolf could no longer feel its mate’s presence, it could only mean one thing. 

That mate was dead. 

And that realization drove Rhett to his knees. Cecilia caught him so he wouldn’t hit the ground hard. He clutched at his mother’s shirt, his face buried against her abdomen, and he wailed out his pain, the agony of which was too great for him to bear. 

Perry was demanding something above him. Shouting about finding Amy. But Rhett couldn’t hear him. He was deafened by the rush of blood in his ears. Deafened by the ringing sound. He thought of you, and the baby you carried, and he wept. 

Just like that, in the blink of an eye, he’d lost everything. 

To be continued…

-

tagging: (a mix of those already on my taglist/those who were tagged in the first part)

@cdauni @gothamrots @happyrebelruins @bobfloydsbabe @myfandomchangesalot @mikpieboo @petersunderoos96 @eighthwvnder @yanna-banana @bradshawsbaby @bradshawsbitch @sebsxphia @rhettabbotts @milesmillergf @briseisgone @laluneveillesureux @gohnspants @hangmanapologist @wkndwlff @damrlova @withahappyrefrain @michaego @whisperofsong @kmc1989

taglist form

#rhett abbot x reader #rhett abbott fanfiction #rhett abbott imagine #rhett abbott x you #rhett abbott fic #werewolf rhett #the wolf series

[desmorotu]

lasko’s playlist ⭐️ (a glimpse)

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷ for @morgansplace !!!

☆ lovesong - adele (lasko, despite already having a partner and is able to express how he feels freely to them, is still a hopeless romantic. he often feels a pit in his stomach when thinking about love, and this song conveys precisely how he can feel. he enjoys humming the melody and tapping his foot to the beat + has cried to this song just because 💀)

☆ i’m not okay - JVKE (he loves the piano!! he is a sucker for a good, heart aching melody that can bring goosebumps to his skin. he doesn’t particularly relate to the song per se, but he does agree with the message that it is okay to not be okay.)

☆ life eternal - ghost (he thinks about his partner when this song plays :p. he really enjoys the choral elements to it! damien’s been introducing him to different kinds of music and lasko is experimenting with ghost currently. he bobs his head to the beat and enjoys dramatically staring out the window when it’s nighttime. he��s witnessed damien screaming these lyrics at the top of his lungs.)

☆ closer - nine inch nails (gavin showed him this song LMAO. despite being shy about the lyrics when listening around other people, when he is alone he is definitely jammin’. he actually enjoys the suggestive lyrics a lot, but he will never admit it to the others. he lip syncs and looks in the mirror while he does it to make sure he looks “attractive enough.” not even his partner knows he does this yet.)

☆ singularity - bts (after having looked up the english translation, he feels a deeper ache when listening to it. he relates deeply to these lyrics, acknowledging that he oftentimes puts others way before himself and, just as in the song, “buries his voice” in fear of rejection. he loves taehyung’s deep vocals and prefers listening while driving because he seeks the vibration of the bass.)

☆ like crazy - jimin (lasko may or may not have gone down a bts rabbit hole at some point—but this song hits him to his core. it’s in a way that he can’t explain, but goosebumps take over his skin and he has to stop whatever he’s doing at the moment to listen and appreciate in its entirety. he was very happy when his partner told him that it was on their playlist after listening to it with them :3)

☆ sure know something - kiss (lasko’s an avid kiss enjoyer—i won’t be hearing any protests. he likes listening to this one with his partner and breaking out of his shell for a moment to dance along with them :). he likes the bass and paul stanley’s voice could “bring a grown man—yes, that grown man is me—to his knees.”)

☆ you know me too well - nothing but thieves (he heard this from another person’s car radio while stopped in traffic and he shazamed that shit. he loves the sensual vibe and, if he ever decides to make a sex playlist, will probably be putting this song on there.)

☆ sway - michael bublé (he fuckin LOVES the entirety of this song. he dances with his partner to it and often enjoys watching them dance to it by themselves. his mouth is always agape, eyes wide and looking desperately in awe. he loves spinning them around and seeing the mischievous glint in their eye. he regrets not ever picking up an instrument, but he would pick up a trombone or violin in a heartbeat if given the chance.)

☆ dancing queen - ABBA (this motherfucker IS the dancing queen even though he is no longer seventeen. he always smiles his biggest when he recognizes the familiar melody and lets himself dance to it even if there are people around. even in the most subtle of ways like walking to the beat or swaying his body, he cannot stay still with this song on. his partner likes to play it when they’re walking through the doorway as an “intro song.”)

refer to lasko’s playlist cover at the bottom!!

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷

okay omg i hope you like it 💔 more songs from my playlist that give lasko vibes this time. these are just my opinions + headcanons ! i tried really hard with this but sometimes i’m really bad at words so i’m sorry if the descriptions are repetitive :(. again, if you want to see more, let me know!! i personally love content like this and i’ve was actually really inspired by morgan’s OC icon post :3 it was SO COOL

k bye 💟

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted headcanons #redacted asher #redacted gavin #redacted lasko #lasko moore #redacted freelancer #redacted damien #redacted huxley #how did i forget tags #wtf is wrong with me #redacted damn crew

[absolutelynotsanebaby]

Demon Kyojuro and Senjuro AU!

First off tho! Credit! This design was inspired by @lokh ‘s demon Kyojuro design! Which can be found here. It's extremely cool please go reblog it!!!!

Explanation of my AU is under the cut :)

Okay! so!

this AU begins after Kyojuro's survival of the Mugen Train.

He takes months to begin to get near fully healed but he'd never be healthy enough to become an active demon slayer again, much less a hashira.

Then Senjuro gets diagnosed with the same disease that killed their mother and it all spirals.

Akaza makes a startling appearance and becomes a frequent visitor.

Akaza isn't stupid, he knows he can't convince Kyojuro to become a demon willingly, convincing him to turn his dying little brother while hes vulnerable in multiple ways (physically, emotionally etc) on the other hand ? He switches tactics. It works.

They run, because Kyojuro knows the consequences of what he's done and isn't willing to face them.

Because of Kyojuro's presence Senjuro was able to retain his memories and full autonomy.

The same cannot be said for Kyojuro later, who is turned unwillingly (note: NOT by Akaza). He looses his memories and most of his speech (he can talk, its just choppy and mostly one word sentences). All he remembers is his love for his little brother and dislike of Akaza and other demons.

He becomes a sort of...demonic vigilante? He does eat, but only when he needs to and tries very hard to only attack and eat those he deems morally corrupt. When it comes to demon slayers, those he considers innocent or morally just he preforms quick, 'mercy' killings.

I'm not quite sure what his demon blood art would be yet but I'm thinking its something simple like him just setting alight and burning people (which, when slayers begin to find bodies of people who were clearly killed by a demon but burned it mystifies them. Demons aren't know to 'cook' their food). Knowing the Rengoku name means Purgatory you could say it's a form of hell-like punishment. He only burns those he considers morally corrupt.

A note about Senjuro: he refuses to eat and it worries Kyojuro to no end.

Senjuro wants to tell his brother about who they were and why whats going on is wrong but hes under strict instruction and threat from Akaza to not. (the threat being Akaza tracking down and attacking people like Tanjiro, their father, Kocho and such).

Another thing about Senjuro is that even as a demon he's weak. Well comparatively to humans he's much stronger but he's still nowhere near useful in combat. This angers both him and Akaza.

and...that's it so far! this has been a lot of rambling but i've fallen in love w this AU so i hope u can forgive me :)

There is a short playlist for this AU! You can find it here <3

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #fanart #art #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku kyōjurō #rengoku #senjuro #rengoku senjuro #rengoku brothers #demon AU #demon rengoku #demon senjuro #baby's art #DRB AU

[linked-through-the-centuries]

To help explain personality/chaos levels/Vibes for each of the Links, here’s how I imagine all of them would drive if cars existed (loosely ranked from best to worst, it’s not a hard set scale):

Twilight: Literally perfect, has never hit the curb before in his life, always uses his turn signal, never speeds, has never been pulled over. Driving with him feels SAFE and he makes sure everyone is comfortable and ready to go BEFORE he starts the car. He will tell everyone off for being too loud and tell them he needs to focus on the road, and he also checks the traffic maps before he goes anywhere so he knows the best route to take because he gets anxious sitting in heavy traffic. Most likely to have a minivan to drive ‘the kids’ around in, and also a pickup truck for work

Calamity: Perfect driver, both hands on the wheel always. The car ride is dead silent because he’s mute and also refuses to put on music, plus he’s not that talkative anyway, so it’s up to whoever’s in the car to talk if they want to. Would probably drive a small black SUV

Past: The kind of person who you cannot read whether or not they’re a good driver just based on vibes, but are surprisingly good. Sometimes stops are a bit rough and maybe they’ve hit the curb once or twice, but has never been given a ticket. Would have an older car that they’ve taken good care of, like an early 2000s Toyota Corolla

Mask: He’s a good driver, he’s just so stressed he has a death grip on the wheel and if people don’t let him over on the highway or he can’t merge over on surface streets he will burst into frustrated tears. Has to have the music turned up loud enough so that Hylia can also hear it, but without it he’ll be too much of a nervous wreck to drive. Would drive an SUV, he couldn’t handle anything bigger (he’d get too stressed out)

Sky: His kindness and music taste makes up for the fact that in a fifteen minute drive, you gripped the handle and feared for your life once. He asks if people are buckled up before he starts the car because one time he braked so hard Mask’s face bounced off the dash and he still feels bad about it. Would drive a smaller car and it’s definitely bright red

Minish: Inexperienced, and sometimes forgets to put on his turn signal. Has ran a red light once or twice. He’s 15 so he wouldn’t have his own car, he’d probably use Twilight’s or Wars’s

Warriors: He has never been in a crash that was his fault, which no one believes because getting in the car with this man feels like tempting the reaper. The kinda guy to hit a pot hole that leaves the car making a brand new sound and just go “OOPSIES!!!” but he cries himself to sleep over it. He either screams along to his playlists or he tells you the hottest gossip you’ve ever heard. Usually has an iced coffee in one hand and waves it around when he talks. Would have a Ford Escape, but like a 2013 Ford Escape specifically. He also checks the traffic maps before he leaves because he likes to he efficient and will leave very early for whatever event he’s going to

Tune: He’s never been the direct cause of a crash and that’s what’s important. He calls his car “ol’ girl” in the most respectful loving manner, and treats the car better than anything else in his life. That being said, he is a truly awful driver and would have a little old sports car

Hyrule: Struggles to stay in the lanes because he gets distracted by landmarks. Past has had to grab the wheel and steady it on more than one occasion. HAS hit another vehicle because he stopped too late. He’s also run several red lights because he thought he could make it

Tears: Better at off road driving than on road driving. You need to take a car up the side of a mountain? Tears is your guy. Otherwise don’t get behind the wheel with them, EVER.

#linked through the centuries #lttc #lttc past #lttc warriors #lttc mask #lttc tears #lttc tune #lttc sky #lttc minish #lttc twilight #lttc hyrule #lttc calamity #jes talks #links meet au

[clownboymcchucklefuck]

Colored Gaze Theory: Zachary Has a Mental Disorder.

WARNING: PLEASE DO NOT ROMANTICIZE ANY BEHAVIOR I TALK ABOUT IN THIS THEORY. IT IS NOT HEALTHY AND YOU SHOULD SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW SHOWS SYPMTOMS.

Theory begins under cut:

Does anybody else find it kind of strange that the dev is so open about Zachary being the "worst" LI and showing his bad side?

The whole point of Colored Gaze is to find out the LI's true "colors" and so far Seth and Simon haven't shown their true ones in tumblr/CC asks unless it's a little lore hint here and there. We all assume that Zachary is the most dangerous but what if it's the exact opposite? After all, Zachary is the only LI I couldn't see killing MC.

"Oh but Zachary's basically been the most of a bitch from what we have seen on the tumblr/cc so far!" But what if that's what the dev is trying to make us think just so that they can throw a curveball at us and catch us off guard? 

In a past theory I had mentioned that on the C.C that Zachary has depression, but I’m now realizing that it probably meant that Zachary needed to see a therapist and I’ve figured out why.

Zachary has Borderline Personality Disorder.

As crazy as I may sound, it actually makes a lot of sense. Lets also think about how it's been said that Zach’s parents were never really “involved” with his life so if he did show any symptoms of a mental disorder at a young age his parents never would have known and brushed it off.

Source:

“Zachary... hmmm.... despite having a 'perfectly' normal childhood with his parents supporting what he wants to do and capability to do pretty much anything... his parents weren't really super involved with him deeply. Like, they kind of lack major presence or never really had a deep connection with him, they're just 'child and parent'.”

Comparing Zachary’s behavior to BPD.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder:

"Bold – Impulsivity is a BPD trait that can be positively linked to being bold, courageous and having the ability to speak one's mind. Creative – The high intensity of emotions can be released into creative endeavors. Many people with BPD put their entire emotional expression into music, art, performance and writing."

Now correct me if I’m wrong, (and I very well might be) but Zachary’s interest with photography could fit into the creative endeavors part.

He's also very bold with his flirting as we see in the demo whenever he kisses MC's hand within the first 3 minutes of knowing them.

"individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically."

“Relationship problems: People with BPD often have intense, tumultuous relationships with others. They may “fall hard” when they meet new people, putting them on pedestals. Their loved ones may describe them as overly needy or clingy.”

For some context for people that haven't listened to Zachary’s playlist; Most of the songs do include lyrics about a very strong love and loving intensely so I believe this fits him.

“Depending on symptom manifestations, both men and women diagnosed with BPD may experience promiscuity, impulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality, or sex avoidance. These sexual changes may also affect the ability to maintain healthy and stable relationships.”

“One of the hallmarks of BPD is impulsivity, which can manifest as engaging in risky behaviors, including reckless sexual activity. Hypersexuality can be a coping mechanism for individuals with BPD as they try to fill an emotional void or deal with intense emotions.”

Now I think we all now that Zachary is a horny bastard which is what made me look into this being one of the symptoms of BPD in the first place. It could very much explain why he’s so horny. But it makes more sense when you understand that he somewhat cannot control feeling that way now that we know he’s not just being horny just to be horny but it's because he’s more than likely hypersexual.

“Romantic fantasization is a common feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD). The unpredictable emotional state associated with borderline personality disorder can cause confusing fluctuations in how borderlines view their romantic partners.”

This could also explain a lot of things about Zachary like why he wants kids with MC so badly, why he’s so “persistent” about being with/marrying MC. 

I also found another article basically talking about why some people are attracted to people with BPD and I’m going to put another disclaimer that this type of behavior is not healthy. I am not encouraging or romanticizing it so please don’t either.

“They're easily seduced by the borderline's extreme openness, charm, and vulnerability. In addition, the borderline's passion and intense emotions are enlivening to non-BPDs, who find being alone depressing or “healthy” people boring.”

“A person with impulsive borderline personality disorder often displays the following signs and symptoms of the subtype: Flirtatious with others, sometimes without even realizing it. Captivating, able to act with a natural magnetism. Elusive and mercurial.”

Correct me if I’m wrong but this somewhat explains Zachary to a T. Albeit he only flirts with MC but it has been said that even when he was in school and on valentines day he would get alot of cards and gifts and such because of how he attracted people. I’m pretty sure in past posts its mentioned that Zachary has a “charm” too, along with his parents raising him to be a gentleman. I’ve talked about how him being raised that way may have affected him in a past theory/shitpost too which I will put here:

Me: Zachary probably has years of repressed sexual desire because of how he was raised to be gentlemen and thats why he's such a freak (horny) all the time and I can only imagine how the standards he had to meet of being a "gentleman" affected him mentally considering its been stated that Zachary hasn't felt love before MC and that he himself probably holds himself up to impossibly high standards which in way is shown by him being a perfectionist and thats probably why he's depressed-

My friend who just asked if I wanted a pringle: wtf

This changes everything. We’ve always assumed that Zachary is the yandere because of his behavior that the dev is suspiciously open about. Zachary isn't the yandere, he is mentally ill.

Once again I just find it very suspicious that it's so obvious that Zachary is the "yandere". There's also a song on Zachary's playlist called Borderline too which is what made me think about this in the first place.

There's also a couple other disorders I could tie to Zachary too.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder [OCD]

Obsessive Love Disorder

Now the second one has only recently been recognized as a mental disorder by professionals so I doubt it may be OLD. (hehehehe get it? Cause Zachary's old- I’ll shut up now.)

Now somebody brought up Zachary possibly OCD to me because of how clean he is and how he wants everything to go his way. However, the "wanting everything to go his way." Could also tie into him having BPD and the cleaning part I have to remind them that OCD doesn't stand for Obsessive Cleaning Disorder smh.

Now this post is already long af so I'm going to stop it right here. I've tried to provide as much sources as I could so that people won't be asking clrdgaze blog where I got it from. (Smh guys just ask me, I swear I don't bite and I love asks. 😭) Thank you for reading my unhinged rambling and have a nice day. ♡

[Reblogs are greatly appreciated too!]

_________________________

Zachary belongs to @clrdgaze

@dont-wannadothis-anymore @mysticnebula

#yandere vn #yandere visual novel #yandere #visual novel #male yandere #coloredgaze #clrdgazevn #colored gaze #coloredgazevn #yandere male #coloredgazevnzachary #coloredgazezachary #clrdgazetheory

[just-a-carrot]

okookookkokoko WHERE DO I EVEN START. I LOVE THIS GAME SM SMH BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPLAINING STUFF SO TAKE THIS SHORT PASSAGE. (Most of this will be an unorganized ramble btw)

(SPOILER WARNING FOR MOST ARCS)

I played T2A2G and OC before this so um. Guess which route I did lmao. SPEAKING OF ROUTES, GENZOU GENZOU GEZNOU GEZNOU GEZNOU OMG GENZOU. I RELATE TO THIS MAN IN WAYS I DID NOT KNOW I COULD RELATE TO A CHARACTER. LIKE WTH?? HE HAS SUCH A TRANSPARENT CLOSET LOL. And also speaking of Genzou I do have a few questions related to him

-Is Genzou fully blind? I don't think he is bc of his cane but I heard it's different in some countries so idk

-We learn Genzou is (supposedly) taking antidepressants in Arc 2. Is he clinically depressed? (According to the Visual Noval Database he is anyways but idk)

-HOW TF DOES HE DEAL WITH BEING CANNIBALIZED TWICE LIKE DAMN..I WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN NO MATTER WHO I'M WITH??

-Did Genzou's friends ever like assume that he was gay?? Or like did he tell anyone?? Or did he try his best to hide it lmao

-Did anyone think/know that Gen had a crush on Iggy??

-GENZOU WITHOUT HIS HAT <333

I love Genzou sm if you couldn't tell already /p

ARC 3 CONFUSED ME SM LOL. I thought that I had accidently switched routes (even though I hadn't even made my LI choice, I ofc didn't know this atm though) from Genzou to Orlam and I was fr so confused like waht. Also like I feel so bad for Orlam wth </3.

HUMAN JERRY.

OO ALSO SOME MORE THINGS

-During some parts (mostly during arcs 3/4) I HAD TO PLAY A RELAXING PLAYLISTS BECASE I FELT OVERWHELMED/ANXIOUS/IDEK?? AND AT SOME POINT I JS GAVE UP AND STATED PLAYING HYPERCORE LMAO

-I LOV ELOVE LOVE THE WAY THAT THE NEUTRAL ENDING COLLIDES(???) WITH OC LIEK WHATWHDWATDHFWHWFTHAFG. IDK BUT FOR ME IT MAKES ME FEEL LIEK IT'S THE MORE "CANON" ENDING EVEN THOUGH THERE IS (probably) NO CANON ENDING.

-I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE GALLERY LIEK OMG??

-Some of my favorite liens in the game were the homicidal gardener lines (both referring to Iggs and Gen), when Gen was arguing with Jerry, When Genzou was telling iggs during the Arc 5 Kiddie Cruise scene that it shoudn't be a choice like I WAS GONNA CHOOSE DONT JUMP JS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS LOL

-I also relate a lot to Iggy in some forms

-GIDGET.

-I took a total of 260 screenshots of this game (as of now heheh)

UM YH THATS ALL SORRY IF IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND OR TOO ENERGETIC BUT I TRULY LOVE THIS GAME SM. Ima go replay OC again byes <3 :3 BEST REGARDS ILYSM /p

KDFJLADFA this message is so chaotic, i love it

first off, i'm really happy you like the game (and genzou) weep. thank you so much for all the kind words 😭💕 i'm also always super intrigued to see where/how ppl came into the game, so hearing you played T2A2G and OC first is very interesting to me lakdjfkdjfa

regarding your questions:

yes he is; i do think he sees a bit of light/shadow (which is different to an answer i gave some time ago, but i've been thinking about it since) but that's about it; it's a result of traumatic optic neuropathy

yes he is; he's been on meds and seeing a therapist for a while

i cannot answer this question LOL 🤣 i also don't know. i guess the only answer is that he has no choice

mmm... he never outright told anyone in the friend group. tbh he doesn't outright tell many people, mostly as he's just a bit of a private person in that regard and keeps to himself outside of attempting dating apps every now and then. i would not say he actively attempted to hide it though aside from around iggy. as for other people assuming i think it was something many of them did kinda realize but never said anything also

similar here, i think some of them kinda knew. i think gidget knew, even if they kinda ignored it, because it prompted their jealousy on a few occasions. i think orlam had a bit of a guess but it wasn't really confirmed until later

LDKAJFSLDKFA THAT'S NOT A QUESTION

LOL about the routes. indeed, if you don't realize that actually all the "routes" are mandatory parts of the story until the finale then it can be confusing if you thought you were going for a specific char early on or something 🤣 it's not like the games where you can pick your route and then the rest of the game is that route

hahaha yeah i wouldn't say there's a "canon" ending. for one, i feel like that would kinda defeat the point of having different possibilities to begin with. why make other choices if there's only ever one canon ending? i want people to be able to choose however they want the story to end. i mostly connected the neutral ending to OC as a sort of self-indulgent gift to myself, because i thought it would be very sweet if iggy would still have a chance to find companionship with one of his friends later on even if he chose to focus on himself first. like that it just keeps it open. i also just thought it'd be a fun easter egg to give ppl more incentive to at least try the neutral route as i figure most ppl would not choose that route as it's kinda short compared to the others and doesn't give as much closure to the other chars

260 SCREENSHOTS LDKJFASDLFA

sob thank you for this lovely message!! it was really fun answering your questions hahaha and i'm really glad you liked the game so much!! it means a lot!! 💕

#ow: finale spoilers #ask: ow #ask: genzou

[kaibasupremacy]

For the ask meme, if you're interested in answering: Seto for 17 + 27 and also 23 because that seems like a soft and kind of silly fun question. And also, if you'd like, Pegasus for 25 and also 23. Thank you! I hope you have a nice day/night!

Thank you so much for the ask!! I feel very honored!! 🩵🩵

It’s the first time for me doing something like this because I often feel insecure about my character takes, or because I find it hard to answer questions on the spot. Also, I probably have more for all of these questions but this is just what comes to my mind now at 2 am.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

I actually have a playlist of songs that remind me of him, or his relationship with various people from his life, that I shared only with a small number of people because I’m kind of self conscious about my music tastes >.>

But there are certain songs that I just cannot help but think of him when I listen.

“Numb” and “Crawling” by Linkin Park, the first makes me think of his relationship with his father figures, the second of the effects of his trauma.

“Hoax” by Taylor Swift is a song I cannot help but associate with his relationship with Atem. I do not really ship them but his relationship with him is in canon Seto’s deepest connection besides the one with Mokuba, and probably Gozaburo. I feel like that song represents very well Seto’s feelings of bitterness at Atem leaving.

“You knew it still hurts underneath my scars

From when they pulled me apart

You knew the password, so I let you in the door

You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score?

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars

From when they pulled me apart

But what you did was just as dark

Darling, this was just as hard

As when they pulled me apart”

As for quotes:

“you keep fighting because you feel you need to earn permission to exist. you're even willing to sacrifice your own life for it. no—one can grant you that affirmation. no stamp certifies that you deserve to live”

“And I was so young

When I behaved

Twenty five

Yet now I find

I've grown into

A tall child”

-Mitski, First Love/Late Spring (the whole song actually…I know it’s a reach, but my Seto brainrot forces me to see the words “window” and “ledge” and relate them only to him)

“We do not want to be spared by our best enemies, not by those either whom we love thoroughly”

-Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

“No one has ever written, painted, sculpted, modeled, built, or invented except literally to get out of hell”

-Antonin Artaud

“I don’t know what’s going to come out of me,” I told her. “It has to be perfect. It has to be irreproachable in every way.”

“Why?” she said.

“To make up for it,” I said. “To make up for the fact that it’s me”

-Suzanne Rivecca

As for the poem, it’s actually a rather dark one that I associate with him, Le Cœur supplicié by Arthur Rimbaud (tw for discussions of sa if anyone wants to look up how it has been often interpreted). To contextualize, my interpretation of the abuses Seto endured in his life is that they were very brutal. But I also associate it to the profound violation Seto experienced when Gozaburo stole his designs (or if you interpret it that he handed them over willingly in manga canon, how he would feel looking back at that).

27. Their guilty pleasure

Bad horror movies, because he is still the boy who built Death-T.

23. If they were a scented candle, what would they smell like? For both Seto and Pegasus.

For someone that loves scented candles, I am actually having trouble with this one. I’m going for coffee or moss for Seto. Maybe lavender for Pegasus?

25. 3 things they’d want to take with them if they were dropped off in the middle of nowhere (for Pegasus)

Not the biggest Pegasus fan or expert, but I would say a picture of Cyndia, a piece of Funny Bunny memorabilia and a bottle of wine.

#first ask of this kind!! #seto kaiba #kaiba #pegasus #pegasus j crawford

[the-knights-who-say-book]

the beast in the belly // an El/Orion playlist

reposting playlist because i made some updates for AO3 posting, but have to take it down from AO3 now as it’s too much quotation

I. a wall up round my dignity

Natural - Imagine Dragons That’s the price you pay Leave behind your heart and cast away Just another product of today Rather be the hunter than the prey

Need Nothing - VÉRITÉ Oh, I’m sorry I’m so condescending The pride on my shoulder, it keeps me standing And I’d call out an ending If you’d hold it against me

Daffodil - Florence + the Machine There is no bad, there is no good I drank every scar that I could Made myself mythical, tried to be real Saw the future in the face of a Daffodil

Icarus - Bastille Look who’s digging their own grave That is what they all say; you’ll drink yourself to death Look who makes their own bed, lies right down within it And what will you have left?

II. they were saving me, and i was going to save them

Machine - Imagine Dragons I’m not scared of what you’re gonna tell me No, I’m not scared of the beast in the belly Fill my cup with endless ambition And paint this town with my very own vision

For Good - Wicked And now whatever way our stories end I know you have re-written mine By being my friend

You Cannot - Erin McKeown You love me, because of this This wildness, this tenderness With every bite of my teeth, I’m showing you best How I love you back, without bitterness

I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan And Sara Sometimes it feels like the side that I’m on Plays the toughest hand, holds the longest stand Sometimes it feels like I’m all that they’ve got It’s so hard to know I’m not what they want

III. the only right thing i’ve ever wanted

Tongues & Teeth - The Crane Wives Abandon all your stupid dreams About the girl I could have been, my dear ‘Cause in the night I know you burn with feelings I cannot return, my dear

F.N.T. - Semisonic I’m surprised that you’ve never been told before That you’re lovely And you’re perfect And that somebody wants you

As Long as You’re Mine - Wicked Just for this moment As long as you’re mine Come be how you want to And see how bright we shine

No Light, No Light - Florence + the Machine You want a revelation You want to get right But it’s a conversation I just can’t have tonight You want a revelation Some kind of resolution

Kiss Me - Dermot Kennedy So kiss me the way that you would If we died tonight Hold me the way that you would For the final time

IV. you're dead, but stay anyway

No Good Deed - Wicked My road of good intentions Led where such roads always lead No good deed Goes unpunished

Hunger - Florence + the Machine At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then, the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness

Rotten - Missouri Surf Club So when you gonna tell him? That nothing grows in corpses, There's nothing he or anyone can do When you gonna tell him? Your skin can't hide black insides, Oh, there's nothing left There's nothing left of you

Innocence and Sadness - Dermot Kennedy I would have waited for you all night to talk for a minute I'll sing into the cold dark night 'til you listen People spend their life heads down, souls hidden I'm trying to be who you need me to be

The Great War - Taylor Swift We can plant a memory garden Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair And we will never go back

#my playlists

[kindly-whisper-norbury]

Please step lightly and proceed with caution, as there are sensitive subjects ahead.

This is a hard, hard personal post for me to make, and I know that I do not have to make it, and I have no right to lay this on all of you, but there are people here that I care about and that I know care about me, so please bear with me.

I will be leaving Tumblr for a while, as something has happened in my family that is so very hard to deal with right now.

My son and his girlfriend were in a motorcycle accident. He survived, she did not. He is blaming himself because he was driving, and his heart and soul are broken. He hasn't stopped crying for days. He loved her so very much. He was so, so happy with her. They had plans, they had adventures they wanted to go on.

She lived with us, for only a short time but in that time I had come to see her as one of my own children. She worked with both my son and my daughter in the same place, and to my daughter she was like a little sister.

So you see why I am going away, why I cannot stay here for now. We don't know what the future has in store, but it isn't the future we had in mind, and we have to figure out where we are going with our lives. I am sorry, I know I have no right to bring you down with me, but I need to scream, and this is as close as I can allow myself to get.

My writing will have to wait, my stories will all be put on hiatus until I have the strength to work on them again. I know I don't have very many readers, but I am still sorry for leaving you few who do read my stories without updates.

And although it may seem strange, before I leave completely, I will be making a playlist. A means to cope, I suppose. Songs with lyrics that say better the way I feel than I ever could express. That will be the last thing I will be posting before I vanish from Tumblr.

But before that, this:

Some years ago, I wrote a drabble. Some few here might recognize it, though with the genders reversed. Its original context, in this case, does not matter; the sentiment remains the same, and the meaning, for me, is deeper than ever:

They called it falling in love, but he didn't know what that meant.

Falling was fearful, a mistake, an accident. Falling was something children did when they learned to walk; something old folk did when their age reached their legs.

That was not what this felt like. This was air beneath him, a flowing breeze, soaring, his heart thrumming inside his chest.

Then, in an instant, she was gone. And the ground rushed up to meet him, and his thoughts went black...

And he knew they called it falling because it did not hurt until you came to the end.

#personal #tw: death #tw: accident #tw: motorcycle accident #tw: mourning

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

for the otp ask game, 2&20?

so since you didn't specify a pairing i'm gonna do this for pianjeong bc i am probably the most unwell about them, they're most OTP for me. if there's another pairing you wanted let me know

2. What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

(i'm gonna assume this was op's typo for "panic" bc i don't think that's how manic states work)

this is unfortunately a fairly regular occurance. there's no way in hell jeong jeong doesn't have horrible nightmares of the world in flames. in fact this is a major part of my fic ghosts. i think piandao's very good at staying levelheaded when other people are panicking, and he's able to be a steadying influence. he'll encourage jeong jeong to talk about it if he wants but not push too hard if jeong jeong doesn't want to. it's kinda cheesy, but i like the idea that jeong jeong has fewer nightmares sleeping next to piandao

i think it would be rarer the other way around, but it's not like piandao doesn't have traumatic memories. i think if it happened jeong jeong would feel like he's not the right person to handle it. he doesn't think he's a gentle, healing person. but he'd find it within him. he knows how to meditate, so he could coach piandao through breathing. i don't think he'd ask what it was about and i don't think piandao would tell him but it'd be okay just because of how important it would be to have that interaction. for piandao to be vulnerable in front of jeong jeong, and for jeong jeong to discover his caregiving side.

20. Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

well i have multiple playlists (main, all mitski, all taylor swift) but hot & heavy by lucy dacus is basically exactly the plot of ghosts (which has its own mini playlist)

"being back here makes me hot in the face / hot blood in my pulsing veins / heavy memories weighing on my brain" - jeong jeong returning to the fire nation

"how could i deny a diamond in the rough" - piandao being an exceptional person who came from a lower-class background

"you were always stronger than people suspected / underestimated and overprotected" piandao being underestimated for being a nonbender

"when i went away it was the only option /couldn't trust myself to proceed with caution / the most that i could give you was nothing at all" jeong jeong deserting the military because he couldn't take it anymore and not telling piandao in order to protect him.

"now you're the biggest brightest flame / you are a fire that can't be tamed" - piandao has become a great swordsman and respected fire nation citizen.

"you're better than ever, but i knew you when / it's bittersweet to see you again" - jeong jeong is conflicted about this transformation piandao's undergone. it's good to see him gain the respect he always deserved, but jeong jeong is critical of the fire nation elite and he feels like he doesn't know piandao anymore.

the funny thing is that i first heard the song after i'd already written the first drafts of the fic, so it's not like i wrote the fic to fit the song. in fact, i started the fic in march 2021, and the song came out in april 2021. i would jokingly accuse lucy of plagiarism but i cannot do that even as a joke i love her.

ask game

#is it weird to be obsessed with your own fic. bc i think about 'ghosts' a lot. like idk if it's the best thing i've written #but it's closest to my heart #nina's personal log #ask #pianjeong

[fanfalc-616]

The Rights of a Nindroid

Chapter 38: Never Say Never

(Previous Chapter)

(Also link to the playlist I made for this story- I keep updating it and changing it but yeah. It’s in order of events, and anything past “Who I Am” by Citizen Solider is a spoiler, so listen at your own risk)

No one is having a good time here <3

“They at least had a pretense for Zane,” Kai snaps from where he’s been pacing around the living room, “this is just ridiculous! I swear, next they’re going to go for P-”

He goes still.

“Guys, where is Pixal?”

Cole rubs at his temples. “She’s the new Samurai X and has been taking care of some people called the Time Twins while we’ve been focused on this,” he explains.

Jay squints. “There’s a new Samurai X? Does Nya know about that? I have a feeling she probably isn’t going to take it well. I mean, it is Pixal, so I guess she can’t be that mad probably, but at the same time-”

“She knows, Jay,” Cole huffs. “This has been going on for a while now. I know we’ve all been distracted-”

“Distracted?!” Kai sucks in a sharp breath. “Sorry, did you just call us trying to rescue Zane from being fucking TORTURED being distract-”

“That is not what I meant and you know it!”

Awkwardly, Jay sits back in his seat, watching his boyfriends get into a fight for the hundred thousandth time. They did it sometimes before, then cooled off when Zane first went missing, and recently-

“Right, of course, you obviously meant that you’ve been distracted by these Time Twins guys while we have been actually focusing on getting our boyfriend back?!”

“I- do you think I don’t want to save Zane?! That I’m not worrying about him?! Kai, for the love of all that is holy, would you just think rationally?! If we don’t pay attention to what other threats are-”

“I AM THINKING RATIONALLY!”

“NO YOU’RE NOT! YOU’RE JUST SCREAMING AT ME AGAIN!”

They’ve gotten worse.

A lot worse.

Jay’s not even sure if the two of them have realized how much worse they’ve gotten, but it’s, uh, it’s noticeable. Very noticeable. Worryingly noticeable.

“I CAN DO BOTH! AND THE ONLY REASON I’M RAISING MY VOICE IS BECAUSE YOU ARE-”

“YOU SERIOUSLY CANNOT BE BLAMING ME FOR THIS ARGUMENT RIGHT NOW! NOT WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO JUST STARTED-”

Tiredly, Jay puts his hands over his ears and slumps backwards against the couch. When Zane were here on times it got this bad, he would give them both the official Disappointed Mom Look™ until they noticed and stopped, then send one to cool off on their own before gently talking the other through their emotions before having the two switch, and once they had both finally figured out the root of the problem and fully calmed down, bring them back together to respectfully resolve things.

Unfortunately, Zane isn’t here, and hasn’t been for well over a year, which is honestly the entire root of the problem. And while in theory, Jay could try to step in and play his role here…

Yeah, emotions aren’t exactly his strong suit.

Then again, emotions were never Zane’s strong suit either. Nothing involving other people was. But he made an effort for them, and in exchange, they made an effort to understand his way of thinking and behaving, and…

They were always different. But somehow, they made it work. Because they love each other. And when it comes down to it, that’s all that matters, right?

Oh, First Master, please do not make him be the emotionally mature one-

Okay, okay, he can come up with something to fix this, right? Even- even if he isn’t good with words and knowing what to say besides cracking a joke to try and help with the tension that usually ends with everyone rolling their eyes or telling him to shut up or both but maybe- maybe that’s just what they need! A distraction! He can do that much, right? He’s always distracted himself, so it can’t be that hard to find a way to distract other people!

… right?

“Hey, guys-” his voice comes out high pitched and cracking and he winces at it but makes himself continue- “so, uh, if- they like, uh, they- they had a pretense for taking Zane, right? Like, they said that they were allowed to kidnap him because his dad didn’t have a will.”

Kai’s head snaps over to him, the argument between the two immediately cutting off.

Cool! He has their attention! Now to figure out where the hell he’s going with this!

“So- uh-” Think think think c’mon think- “what- what reason do they have for taking Sentry? I mean, Cyrus Borg is still alive, right?”

There’s a brief moment of silence.

Then Cole’s eyes widen.

“They broke the law,” he realizes. “We can call them on it. Get people on our side.”

Kai’s already fumbling for his phone, quickly pulling it out and tapping on the screen. “I’m going to Chirp-”

“We’re going to call Dr. Borg,” Cole corrects. “We need to have him on board with this before we make any moves.”

“We can’t waste any more time!”

“No, what we can’t do is run headfirst into things without a plan! We need to know exactly what our game plan is before-”

“We don’t have time-”

“Kai would you please just LISTEN-”

“No! No, we need to-”

Well. Uh. Heh.

That didn’t work.

{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }

If Sentry didn’t know that Cryptor and Zane had been horribly and terribly broken, he absolutely does now.

Being dragged around by the security guards was one thing. But being taken to the training room by Zane? While the guy will barely look at him, much less respond or react to anything he says or does?

Yeah, this is a lot worse than the guards.

“So, uh, are you having a good day?” Sentry tries yet again, giving a weak smile. “Anything fun happen?”

Zane doesn’t spare him a glance, instead continuing to calmly keep him in a hold as he takes him down the halls. Which is the same reaction he’s gotten every time, but he’s still a little upset over it.

Really, Sentry thinks he’s earned the right to be upset over anything he wants after… all of this.

Once they reach the training room, Sentry sighs, waiting for… getting tied down. Getting zapped. Are they going to have Zane be the one to do it? So it’s a fellow nindroid? To try and ‘remind him of his place’ because ‘nindroids can’t have friends’?

Not that he ever really was close to Zane or interacted with him much, but still. It’s not about whether or not they’re actually friends, it’s about what these stupid government people are trying to imply. He-

“Original, wait!”

Zane immediately stops in his tracks, going absolutely motionless without the slightest moment of hesitation.

“Yes, Master?”

Damn it, every time he hears those words, hears the word ‘Master’, whether from Zane or Cryptor or from himself when the pain gets to be too much, it always makes him feel like he wants to cry.

But he won’t. He can’t. He can’t show weakness. Can’t let them think they’re winning. He has to keep his head high, to at the very least pretend that-

“What were you assigned to do here?”

Wait a second. He can’t twist enough to see the speaker, but is this-

Yeah, he recognizes that voice.

Kyle.

… Sentry has a lot of mixed feelings about Kyle.

“I was instructed to take it here, connect it to the chains, then apply shocks of slowly increasing power until it willingly agreed that all nindroids are lesser.”

Oh, goodie, ‘all nindroids’ in front of Zane, they want him to help reinforce what they’ve taught him- yeah, not a chance.

“And after that?” Kyle asks.

“Return it and its locker, then report to work on weapons training.”

There’s a brief pause before Kyle speaks, this time sounding uncertain when he does.

“You- you mean weapons design, right?”

“No. Weapons training. I am being taught combat maneuvers, as well as stealth and reconnaissance.”

… okay, so that statement is concerning. That is very, very concerning. Why would the government want him to know how to fight again? Sure, he was a ninja before, but they’re not exactly just going to return him, so-

“Why?” Kyle demands. Huh, did he… did he not know about this?

“My apologies, Master, but you do not have the authority to access this information.

… okay, so Kyle did not know about this. That’s interesting.

“What do you mean I don’t have the authority?!”

“I am not allowed to answer that question.”

“What?!”

“I said that I am not allowed to answer that question, Master.”

“No, I- I got that, but- why not?”

“I was instructed against informing you of what the weapons training is for, as well as who locked you out of that information.”

Yeah, Sentry is really wishing he could see Kyle’s face right now, because that would absolutely help him figure out what’s happening here- and he would very much like to know what that is because what the HECK-

“R- right. Okay. Original, you’re dismissed from your current task. I’ll handle it. You can go to weapons training now instead of later.”

“As you command, Master.” Yep, that word still makes him feel awful. “Would you like me to tie it down first?”

“Yeah, I would.”

Wait, what? Then what- hasn’t Kyle been helping him?! Taking him out of his locker and talking to him so he doesn’t lose his mind being trapped alone, not going as hard as anyone else when hurting him, arranging ways for him to just so happen to be in the same place as Cryptor so he can check up on him-

He’s distracted from his thoughts by being shoved down and connected to the chains, and gritting his teeth, Sentry lets it happen.

There’s no way he could beat Zane in a fight. All it’ll do is create more trouble for him, and Sentry… he’s tired of constantly being in some kind of trouble.

Not that he’s- not that he’s giving up! There’s no way he’s giving up. He’s just… picking his battles. Yeah, that’s it, picking his battles, picking his battles, carefully choosing the right ones so he can win this war even if it’s hard because he’s tired and hungry and has no idea if it’s been a week or the two weeks they were supposed to save him at or even a month-

Once Zane’s done, he calmly gets up and leaves, not even bothering to glance back at the member of his own species he just left to get tortured.

Sure, he’s not in his right mind, but again, Sentry thinks he’s earned the right to be upset and bitter after this. He’s absolutely entitled to that much and a heck of a lot more on top of it.

From this angle, he can see Kyle now, and while the traitorous jerk that he has to be allies with has a pretty calm expression, he knows by this point that the guy can act when he wants to, so that really doesn’t tell him anything.

“Sentry,” Kyle greets, and as much as Sentry really doesn’t like him, after how much he’s been called ‘Admiral’, hearing his real name is a relief.

“Kyle,” Sentry returns, doing his best to keep his tone neutral. “What was all that about?”

For a moment, emotion flickers across Kyle’s face. Stress. Worry. Discomfort.

Then it vanishes, either covered up or pushed down. Either way, it’s not visible anymore.

“Not important,” he says, very obviously lying because whatever that was is absolutely important in some way or another so how or what- “So, I’m able to give you a few options here.”

Fine, Sentry will let it go for now. But they will be coming back to it, mark his words. “I’m not gonna like any of them, am I?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

Kyle hesitates.

Yeah, he called it.

Sighing, Sentry shakes his head, looking down at the ground. “What are my options?” he asks tiredly.

Despite not looking at him, Sentry knows Kyle is wincing. “So, we are doing ‘training’ today-”

“And you’re doing it to me?”

“Sorry, Sentry, would you prefer it to be Zane or Cryptor?” Kyle snaps.

And Sentry flinches.

Cryptor… to have Cryptor being the one doing this, Cryptor hurting him, Cryptor staring with that horrifyingly blank expression as he-

“I didn’t mean that,” Kyle says quickly, voice coming out in a rush. “I- I’m tense right now, I didn’t-”

“Save it,” Sentry snaps, squeezing his eyes shut tight. No, he’s not thinking about that, not thinking about it, even though at this rate it’s really only a matter of time before they do it if they were going to have Zane do it then it’s bound to be Cryptor soon and-

No. No, he won’t- this wouldn’t- Cryptor would never-

… heh. ‘Never’ doesn’t really mean much here. Sentry swore to himself that he would never give in, never give them what they want from him, not even once.

He’s ended up doing it nearly every single time they get their hands on him.

Letting out a shaky breath, Sentry tries to just… put it out of his mind for now. First Master knows he has enough to worry about in just this moment alone.

Mustering up what strength he can, he looks back up at Kyle, hating the fact that he’s on his knees and has to look up to whoever it is in the room with him. Another subtle way of showing who holds the power here. “What are my options?” he asks again. “Zane seemed pretty convinced that I was getting zapped.”

Glancing off to the side, Kyle has the decency to at least look guilty for once. “They, uh… don’t really leave too many decisions or options in his orders most of the time.”

Sentry takes a moment to process that.

Right. Of course they don’t. Because they don’t want him to remember that he can make decisions for himself and is more than just a robot made for following every given command.

And any time they do give him options, it’s probably to trick him into playing more into their hands.

Pulling in another breath, Sentry pushes that to the side. He’ll deal with his emotions on that later. “What are my options?” he asks again.

“Well, this-” Kyle gestures at the chains holding him “- is one of them.”

“Don’t like that one,” Sentry comments.

“Two would be the sensory room.”

“Hate that one even more.”

“And three is…” Kyle hesitates.

Oh, First Master. If it’s bad enough that it’s got him hesitating, what the heck is it?

“Three is…?” Sentry prompts. He’s not in the mood for suspense right now, so he’d rather Kyle just say it so he can weigh the choices he’s got.

Kyle isn’t looking at him. Interesting. “So, this is going to sound bad, but hear me out all the way before you freak out, alright?”

“What is it, Kyle?”

Wincing, Kyle digs one of his feet against the ground. “What do you know about the UR5U-9240 Universal Remotes?”

Oh.

Okay.

He understands exactly why Kyle was hesitating so much now.

“You mean the remote that got recalled because it messed with electronics it wasn’t supposed to pair to?” Sentry keeps his voice calm, slightly curious. “What about it?”

They both know he’s playing dumb.

“Sentry…”

Sentry pulls in a sharp breath. “You are not going to be hijacking my free will with a remote. How could you ever think I’d agree to something like that?!”

“Hear me out-”

“No! No I will not ‘hear you out’ what in the name of the FSM himself gave you the idea that-”

“IT WON’T HURT!”

And that makes him fall short, the words that were about to leave him evaporating in his mouth.

He swallows.

“What?”

Kyle lets out a breath. “The remote won’t hurt,” he explains. His voice is careful, slow. Like he’s trying to avoid pissing Sentry off. Good. He should do that more often. “The shocks, the sensory room, they hurt. With the remote… you’d just have to do a few tasks for a little while- fifteen, twenty minutes- and then you’d be done. You could go back to your locker without getting injured or having to dehumanize yourself.”

Gritting his teeth, Sentry turns his gaze away. “And all I have to do for that is sacrifice my bodily autonomy.”

“I’ll be the one holding it the entire time,” Kyle assures. “And I promise I won’t make you do anything bad.”

Pulling in a breath, Sentry grimaces. He hates the fact that he’s actually- actually considering it. The answer should be NO, a resounding, solid, unarguable NO.

But he’s… he’s tired. He’s so tired of hurting, of being in pain. The shocks already leave him sobbing with tears running down his face- and they had plenty of fun in the workshops investigating that ability of his- and the sensory room leaves him unable to hear his own thoughts for at least an ninety minutes for every one minute he spent inside.

But this… it wouldn’t be so bad, right? Sure, it’s dehumanizing and humiliating, but at least it won’t hurt, right?

That final thought breaks him out of it like a bucket of cold water over the head.

No. No. Agreeing to the remote is losing it’s jumping over to the losing side and it might be impossible to make up that ground again because he would be willfully allowing himself to become their puppet to avoid getting hurt and that’s- that’s-

That’s exactly what they want.

That’s exactly what their endgame is.

And the thought that he might’ve said yes if he hadn’t realized this is blood-curdling terrifying.

“Shocks,” Sentry gets out, forcing the words to sound strong and determined. “I choose the shocks.”

Kyle seems surprised. “Are you sure? Sentry, if we do this-”

“I am not your pawn or puppet or toy to be played with. I would rather get the shocks than ever connect to that thing. Now just-” His voice quavers- “z- zap me already so we can hurry up and get this over with.”

For a long few moments, the only answer he gets is silence.

Each second counted away grated on his nerves more and more, and Sentry finds himself starting to grit his teeth in frustration.

Finally, Kyle speaks, his voice hesitant when he does.

“Okay. If you’re sure.”

Then electricity is coursing through him and quite frankly Sentry can’t process anything else but it and the pain it causes.

{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }

“What the FUCK is civil asset forfeiture?!”

Jay crosses his arms as he glowers at the floor from his spot on the living room couch. “I don’t know, but whatever it is, I hate it.”

Still pacing around the room, Kai throws his hands up. “It’s bullshit. It doesn’t even sound like a real thing! Like they just slapped some words together and-”

Next to him on the couch, Cole shakes his head. “The meaning hasn’t changed since the last three times we’ve described it, Kai. Civil asset forfeiture means the government can take your property when they suspect it to be involved in crime. They don’t have to prove it was involved in crime, they can just take it.”

“How is it legal?!”

“It shouldn’t be!” Jay agrees. “And hello, nindroids still are not PROPERTY!”

“We’ve argued that before. They don’t care,” Cole reminds.

“I still disagree.”

“We all disagree,” Kai says. “Zane is a person, not some kind of tool. And that’s never changing.”

“Never,” Jay agrees.

“Never,” Cole confirms.

#the rights of a nindroid #ninjago fanfiction #roan #fanfiction #whump #robot whump #which i only found was a tag fairly recently i could have been tagging this with that the whole time-

[redstrewn]

No wait here’s the link to the playlist: https://spotify.link/55TnO2GLGDb

I hope it works! Sorry im no good at this sorta thing — musa

Hi im sorry i never got around to actually finishibg commenting on the whole thing but since its been like 5838849392829 years i might as well post what ive had in the drafts. Sorry that its mostly just me keysmashing and going insane over a couple songs bc my braincell just does that AHSJDNFJFK

OUH I LOVE PRODIGAL SELF thank you for introducing me to this song its rly my vibe OOOUHHH. Sleeplessness so rreeeal. Darkness. MMMMM.

Hidden place is so smeggzee...MMMMM. OMG THE FINGERS GIVEN TO TOUCH W LINE MC moment real....kept in a hidden place be careful. SOOO REAL.

HAWLLLYY SHIT IM OBSESSED W THESE LINES AAARRRGGHH SHAKIJG MY CAGE RATTLING IT CHEWING ON THE BARS GOING FERAL

He's the beautifullest, fragilest Still strong, dark and divine And the littleness of his movements Hides himself He invents a charm that makes him invisible Hides in the hair Can I hide there too? Hide in the hair of him Seek solace Sanctuary

IM CRAZY!! IM CRAAAZY!!!! I GO INSANE OVER THESE FUCKING LYRICS [SHAKES YOU BY THE SHOULDERS] MUSA U R SO INSANE (/pos) FOR THIS IM GOING INSANE THESE LYRICS AAURGEHHRHHRGRGGRGRGEGRGGRHRHRHRHRHRHRHR IM GOING CRAAAZYZYYZZYZYZYZYYZYZYZ

An echo a stain....the vibes of this song OOUUUUUU sexy sinister....MMMMM.

Don't say no to me You can't say no to me I won't see you Denied I'm sorry you saw that I'm sorry he did it An echo A stain A stain I can't say no to you (I can't say no to you) Say nothing Free falling Complete

Those last two lines SCARY AS FUCKCKKCKCKKKC GOD I FUCKING LOVE IT MMMMM NOMNOMONOM DRINKS THIS POURS THIS DOWN MY THROAT THATS GOOD GOURMET MUSICS.

Now the seer......

What is human? Is there really nothing but seeing or seen? The voice is wordless tissue The fog from Heart of Glass Listen to the lips that feed you The voice is a second flesh that cannot be seen This body is not for vision The seer cannot go there But the tongue is a pawn for the restless An indecipherable alphabet Each word an eye, lidless And we speak in tongues from part to part Broke, broke part to part From invisible state to invisible state to invisible state To invisible state Where do I end? In the flames or in the ashes? Where do I end? My body is the end My body is the end My body is the end

Now i wont pretend my dumb ass understands what the lyrics are actually saying so im just taking what my bumbling ass sees.

Taking "this body is not for vision" with the voice being "wordless tissue," makes me think of Leander's use of his body. For all his mental games he's also very physical in the way that he just uses it as a tool. "He works hard and parties harder," doesn't like naps, and his eyebags scream he doesn't sleep well either. He's a manwhore. He uses his body a lot. He probably uses his body to seduce not just for the sake of sex itself but also the added bonus of getting to know someone better (information is currency hurr) and gain someone's favor or something. But there is no seeing him. He's masked. Who even really knows each other in this game lmao? The only one doing the seeing here is him. "Each word, a lidless eye."

Goes with "but the tongue is a pawn for the restless." Wow that guy sure is restless and likes to manipulate people with words and convincing and drinks doesn't he. "Fog from the heart of glass" makes me think of a fog obscuring the heart.

"Listen to the lips that feed you." "I can keep you safe, as long as you trust me." There we go again with Leander's paternalistic, watchful-eye vibe.

"An indecipherable alphabet." Idk i like thinking of this with Vere's "His nice guy act is bullshit" lol. He may be speaking but it's coming from the ass. Indecipherable because what he says is just bullshit, empty flattery to get his way.

"And we speak in tongues from part to part. Broke, broke part to part. From invisible state to invisible state to invisible state. To invisible state." IDK what this actually means but I'm taking this as how his identity is in pieces. He reconstructs himself, breaking off the pieces he doesn't like and hiding them while he speaks from the parts he wants you to see. Invisibility, hiding the true, whole image of him. Like a puzzle with missing pieces. You're not seeing all of him. His visage fractured. You get it. I just like rambling.

"Where do I end? In the flames or in the ashes? Where do I end? My body is the end. My body is the end. My body is the end." Ha hoo. Ahh. Endings. Flames and ashes of extermination (though can also be rebirth). My body is the end. I don't know. Thinking of his like of masquerades. The hiding is something he likes, maybe not just because it's something he feels he has to do but also because he's "happy" with it. The perfect (constructed) image of himself. Iunno. Perhaps he wants to die being unknown. In the flesh of the body he uses as a tool. Maybe he wants to die in his facade. [Head in hands.]

I know you translated and expanded seni düşünmek on another ask, so I'll write my thoughts on it on that ask.

No light, no light....

yeah thats good

Would you leave me If I told you what I've done? And would you leave me If I told you what I've become? 'Cause it's so easy To say it to a crowd But it's so hard, my love To say it to you out loud

You can't choose what stays and what fades away And I'd do anything to make you stay

hhrhghrhghrghrgrkgkgkgkgkgkgkhhghhghghghrhrhrhhrrghgkkrgkghrkghh. its fine. im cool.

You want a revelation You want to get right But it's a conversation I just can't have tonight You want a revelation Some kind of resolution Tell me what you want me to say

IMMMMMMMMMMMM FUCKING GGGGG GGGGGG FFFIIINNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the way this song can also be a kuras song omfg. AAAAAAUUUUUUUURGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

hamlet got me reading abt the play and went on a whole ride about it. that was fun thank you.

#musa

[hanasnx]

You have a lyric from brutus in your pinned and its one of my favorite songs and I was talking to a friend earlier today about how the lyrics remind me of anakin

-🪩

it's on my anakin playlist :) i adore that song for him. i actually wrote you my analysis (more under the cut):

I've been watching him for my entire life I hate the air he breathes, his foolish decrees His words so contrived And I hate the way the townspeople gather outside They hang on every breath, cling to his chest Home to his heart full of pride

this passage reminds me heavily of anakin's jealousy towards obi-wan kenobi. from anakin's perspective, he's an observer, and he sees how obi is constantly calm and collected which is something anakin deems a facade. especially because anakin is not as gifted at hiding his emotions as obi-wan. going as far as to "hate the air he breathes" is such a stretch into the imbalanced hormonal declarations of a teen boy who spends far too much time with one person.

not to mention obi-wan has a way with people anakin wishes he has. the amount of— what he believes to be "blind"— trust. but obi-wan has earned that trust, anakin just can't see that. anakin may see people "hang on every breath" and "cling to his chest" and see them as foolish for debasing themselves like that because he himself relies on obi-wan so heavily, and he thinks himself less for it. which is only taught by obi-wan, unknowingly.

The oracle told him to beware the Ides And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing For untimely death or demise Or am I just wishing I could be like you? That the people would see me too as a poet And not just the muse

jealousy can create a number of negative feelings such as wishing you'd never met the person you're jealous of, or wishing they'd die peacefully so you wouldn't have to deal with your jealousy or deal with seeking out closure with that person. the choice of words being, "i'd be lying if i said i wasn't wishing / for an untimely death" softens the blow of such a direct bottom-line being: i wish you were dead. it says a little with a lot, skirting around that blunt bottom-line to sugar-coat it. much like a teenager who might regret his harsh words or knows his wishes are evil in nature because he cannot understand why he'd be having these feelings if they weren't true. and if they're true, that must make him bad.

"or am i just wishing i could be like you?" anakin does wish he could be like obi-wan in many ways, especially in the seemingly easy way people adore him. "that the people would see me too as a poet / and not just the muse" muses exist to be looked at. they can be a representation in the middle of a room in which people gaze upon. it's to capture their essence on a page. in a way, it dilutes the muse. it takes an entire being, and minimizes that being and their complexities into an angle on a page, usually in the style of the painter. anakin may be sick of being looked at, and drawn conclusions about in each individual way. it is his perception that people are hard on him for a number of reasons, and it is also his narrow perception obi-wan is not treated with the same scrutiny.

Oh, it's not true, I don't wish harm upon you From birth we've been like brothers of different mothers Within the spirit of the same womb May the gods strike me down if I forsake you Frater meus, you're beautifully made And to you I'm forever grateful

"oh, it's not true, i don't wish harm upon you" is a potent example of that regret. the last verse spoke of wishing obi-wan to be dead, but now anakin back tracks on it, he doubts himself. of course it's not true, of course he doesn't wish obi-wan harm, contrary to what was said. anakin deals with a lot of cognitive dissonance, and this is a very key phrasing to demonstrate how frequently he experiences it. he wants obi-wan dead at the same time he loves obi-wan and wants him safe and protected. it would be easier if obi-wan were not in his life at all, if they had never met.

yet they are "brothers of different mothers / within the spirit of the same womb" obi-wan and anakin are often described as brothers, obi-wan being the older, respectable, responsible one. he is a father figure to anakin, and anakin's resentment for that power held over him is another motivation to terminate obi-wan.

"may the gods strike me down if i forsake you" anakin speaks in hyperbolic tongues. when he confessed his love to padme, he overcompensated with a lot of love-bombing dramaticism that couldve been used to entrap her. he does not know a healthy way to court nor does he know a healthy way to love, and his idea of love is warped. may the gods strike him down, kill him, destroy him, dematerialize him if he ever abandon obi-wan to whom he is forever grateful and indebted to. he cant believe he would ever say a nasty word about his pseudo-father when he loves him so much. that line of thinking is what drags him down to the depths of the dark side, for when you experience human emotions and you shame yourself for them and hide them, they only fester in that darkness you've thrust them in.

I'll never forget that you showed me to make art And I know the love you showed me came From a pure and noble heart I love you, and if you want, I'll call you King But why do I lie awake each night thinking "Instead of you, it should be me"?

obi-wan showed anakin the wonders of the jedi. the meditation, the peace, the sanctuary, the teachings. he introduced anakin to that slice of culture. he showed anakin that he is responsible for his own autonomy and what he can do with that autonomy. he can make art, he can live for an artform, he can live in a luxurious way compared to where he came from. a life of leisure in a peacemaker compared to a bomb in your neck. he learns later that it's too simple a life for him, but for a while he chews on the meat of the false paradise he built up inside his head for so long.

"pure and noble heart" anakin may see obi-wan as a man without faults, or convinces himself obi-wan is incapable of faults to further scold himself for insisting obi-wan is jealous of him (fed via the lies of the emperor).

obi-wan is promoted past anakin, he's a knight first, a master first, on the council first. the first in a thousand years to defeat a sith lord, a highest honor. "i love you, and if you want, i'll call you king" anakin will admit obi-wan is his better, his superior, if that's what obi-wan wants. that's how much he loves obi-wan.

yet, he envies obi-wan's place. in both rank and adoration, anakin wants that kind of devotion and blind faith, regardless if that does not align with reality because obi-wan has his fair share of obligations and proper procedures he must follow, he is not immune to the same rules anakin is.

Something wicked this way comes And as I set to face it, I'm unsure Should I embrace it, should I run? What motivates me? Hatred? Is it love? What's more wrong; that I too wish to be great Or my mother wished she'd had a son? And even if I can't be the one Maybe I could at least help make way for him Until the day that he comes Maybe my name could also be known That I helped return good to the people And restored greatness to Rome

this is the beginning of the climax in revenge of the sith. he senses a wickedness impending, and he's unsure how to go about dealing with it. should he embrace the emperor's offer, or should he deny him? killing mace sets his decision in stone, and he falls to his knees. is his motivation his hatred for his status or his love for padme? he chooses to make padme his scapegoat, and performs atrocities in her name. if he really loved her, he would know she would've rather die than have people slain in her honor.

anakin wishes for more power, more status, and he left to become a jedi because he believed it to be the way to do it. but he left his mother behind, who wishes she still had her son. now his mother is dead and he is outgrowing his environment.

even if he can't be the one, the dictator, that that "someone wise" he spoke of in attack of the clones, he would make way for him. he would become his sword and his shield. vader is the emperor's sword and shield, and paved the way for palpatine to seize that throne. his name as darth vader is known and in his perception he has overturned the corrupt republic and restored greatness to the galaxy.

Brutus, Brutus, Brutus, Brutus! Brutus, Brutus, Brutus, Brutus! Brutus, Brutus, Brutus, Brutus! Brutus, Brutus, Brutus, Brutus!

the story brutus and julius caesar is worth the research dive, and very much aligns with anakin's own perception of his warped hero's journey.

My name is Brutus and my name means heavy So with a heavy heart I'll guide this dagger into the heart of my enemy My whole life, you were a teacher and friend to me Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy I, too, have a destiny This death will be art The people will speak of this day from near and afar This event will be history, and I'll be great too I don't want what you have, I want to be you

this marks the climax of revenge of the sith where obi-wan and anakin cross blades with the intent to stop one another. anakin knows he must kill obi-wan, and so he intends to plunge his saber into the heart of his enemy. most of his life, obi-wan was his teacher, brother, father, and friend. his actions are no longer motivated by that jealousy, now it is lust for power and eradication of the weak and corrupt. his destiny is to be the most powerful jedi.

the overturning of the republic into an empire will be history, and because he was a part of that he'll be spoken about as well. and he'll take obi-wan's place as a shining example, but he has to kill him first.

I always knew I could be the one Though I feel the endless pain of being And I am scorched by the Sun Of humble origins and born of the cursed sex My name is Brutus, but the people will call me Rex

he always knew he was destined for greatness. but he is scorched by the mustafarian earth underneath him and the pain in the inside has bled out to his skin as he burns alive. the pain of being. of humble origins in the dunes of tatooine, born from a slave, his name is anakin, but the people will call him darth vader.

#indy shoots the shit #thanks for the msg!! #anon: 🪩 #indy: song recs #anakin skywalker prompt #ch: anakin #anakin skywalker #star wars #sw #obi-wan kenobi

[needsmorewlw]

*~Non-fetishistic mlm!Dylan headcanons~*🥰😇

I am being so pass agg rn

He worked out he was gay when he was like 10 after watching Teen Wolf.

He abides by the "Coming out to people by mentioning it casually in conversation" rule of homosexuality, to see who he catches off guard.

He still has girls who ask him out because he's tall and funny and listens to them when they speak.

He's surprised how often he has to tell these girls that he's gay because to him it's very obvious but apparently not to them.

He's had one real boyfriend but he was kinda toxic and just liked Dylan because he's tall.

Dylan has some hang ups over his one real relationship not ending well and has some lingering nervousness about starting a new one.

Doesn't stop him from being forward when he likes someone though.

Dylan flirts as a joke and then when it works he has no idea how to continue.

The personification of the "I dunno, I didn't think I'd get this far." meme.

He doesn't know where the joke flirting ends and the real flirting begins either.

If Dylan really cares about someone, he will go above and beyond for them (friends, dates and family). More than once it hasn't been reciprocated and his kindness got taken advantage of. Hence his fear of rejection.

His relationship with his parents is...fine. I can't help but feel like he has a parent who tells their friends that "he just hasn't met the right girl yet."

Designated class clown. "Please like me or I WILL take it personally."

No emotion has gone unrepressed for nineteen years.

Fake-it-till-you-make-it is his totally healthy coping mechanism. Pretend to be happy until the depression goes away. No he doesn't need therapy xx (sarcasm)

He rarely cries and only in private. Absolutely never in front of anyone unless you happen to catch him on a bad day.

He doesn't have anxiety and he's never had a panic attack. He sometimes disassociates after a failed social interaction where he accidentally offended/hurt someone.

He's not brave but he is self sacrificial. If someones gotta get hurt, it's gonna be him.

Dylan's the kind of friend who will hang out with you every single day for a week and then you won't see him or speak to him for three months.

Probably because he hyperfixated on a new hobby so hard he forgot he was a living human who needed to socialise.

He took piano lessons when he was a kid and taught himself guitar when we got older so he could play Wonderwall.

He builds PC's for his friends.

He cannot cook even if he had a gun to his head. Eggs on rice is about all he can manage.

He loves all things horror but never actually believed in it. Now he believes in it more and loves it a little less.

He doesn't go around proclaiming that he's gay but he's also not ashamed of it. If he's comfortable around you he'll make some jokes or euphemisms.

Simultaneously ^ He's real annoying when he has a boyfriend. He will talk about him all the time and you will get sick of it.

His lanky arms were made for cuddling. He is a snuggle machine. Pop your head on his chest babygirl, tell him all about your shitty ex.

Despite everything, he has a genuine optimistic view on life. He has a secret little five year plan that involves him moving out, graduating college and getting hired at NASA as an astrophysicist.

He spends more time curating his Spotify playlists than he does breathing.

He definitely gave his cat a full first, middle and last name.

#this is a personal attack at everyone trying to *UwU smol bean*-ify dylan #dylan lenivy #the quarry #the quarry dylan #my block list is growing longer everyday #the quarry headcannons #hcs #headcannons

[gnomeniche]

Alright so first of all, your character playlists are top-tier and I absolutely love all your analyses of the show, they're so well thought-out and just a joy to read.

I saw that your birdman playlist had The Astronomer from Ghost Quartet (you have impeccable taste, I've gotta say) and it got me thinking about the rest of the musical as it could align with dmhis

Specifically The Camera Shop, with Rose and Pearl fitting in really well with Yellow and Lesley.

Something about a Knowing™ character speaking over soft piano music to a well meaning yet extremely confused Trapped In the Narrative™ character, the creepy storytelling and over familiarity where you can tell that they Remember previous cycles in a way the other can only barely comprehend, the way that mix of love and fear and anger morphs from Kindly and Inviting Older Lady to outright anger and yelling, the way that even though she seems all powerful she's actually just as much a victim to the narrative... Idk man it's just got all the right vibes

Also "I'm a little confused, and more than a little frightened" "It's okay my dear, this is a circular story"

And "I don't believe any of this!" "Don't you REMEMBER?"

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on it, since (if you'd believe it) it's a bit hard to find that crossover between dmhis and Ghost Quartet fans 😂 And you've always got the best takes on this kind of stuff

i think it's a shame that it's hard to find a crossover between dhmis fans and ghost quartet fans! it is my professional opinion that all dhmis fans should experience ghost quartet (a live recording is free on youtube! and the soundtrack is on spotify!).

the tones of ghost quartet and dhmis are very different, but if you love mind-bending storytelling, deciphering a very densely layered story that works on a very thematic level, the use of memory loss and residual memories and shifting roles that characters must inhabit, and the themes of a small group of people who fundamentally love each other trapped in a vicious cycle of narrative and character flaws that complicates that, you will love ghost quartet. also the music is so good. just be ready to give it multiple listens and make sure to have the genius lyrics and the wikipedia summary open on your first try. (there's also a ton of literature references in ghost quartet but i don't think you necessarily Need to know them. i just like them bc i'm a literature nerd.)

okay now that the shilling is over: i have thought of songs from ghost quartet in a dhmis character context! i haven't thought of The Camera Shop yet, but you're so right that it works well for yellow and lesley. the vibes are the same.

(more under the cut bc wow this got long)

i do have The Astronomer on the duck playlist bc of the contradictory feelings of curiosity but sheer incuriousness due to fear of the unknown + self-importance and self-hatred because you know you wouldn't dare to be all you wish to be, and i think Starchild might also work for him because of that need for importance and control in an uncaring world?

Tango Dancer gives me Some Kind Of Feelings about red (something about "but myself didn't have time for me / didn't have time for anyone so used up"). also something something The Telescope fluffybird ("i love the way you see the world / i love the way your soul sings / i wish that i could sing like you / i wish that i could feel things").

the very tired and regretful vibes of all the pearl characters are very auhghgh. something about remembering that you've lived through a cycle when nobody else does or when the other one who could cannot see past her own fury when she does remember. hits that spot for all the dhmis characters whenever they get those bits and pieces back.

on a lighter side i love the "actor" songs for them too. Any Kind Of Dead Person as a silly but slightly sinister duck song is super fun. i freely admit that i have done amvs in my head for Four Friends many times. lesley is brent's verse, red is brittain's verse, yellow is dave's verse, and duck is gelsey's verse. the gang just chills and drinks bc lesley is feeling sentimental and tired today.

#dhmis #ghost quartet #am.ask

[separatist-apologist]

Because I’m in Love with your takes on these: acotar characters from most to least devastated after a breakup (coping mechanism commentary appreciated but not required)

this is MOST to LEAST. MOST TO LEAST.

16. Tamlin- Functioning but just barely. Absolutely cuts bangs into his hair. New me, he sobs into the mirror. Drops all his friends to grieve, never really gets over it.

16. Elain- CATATONIC. Red album on BLAST for MONTHS. Is it coping if you just stop living your life entirely? Sleeps in old hoodie, devastated when the smell is gone.

15. Rhysand- Oh yeah. DRUNK FOR WEEKS. "I just knew she was the one," he hiccups to a stranger at the bar. Watching cheesy rom-coms in bed, alternating between whiskey and ice cream. Does not shower for a solid two weeks, forces Azriel and Cassian to have an intervention.

14. Gwyn- can't go five minutes without crying. Vanishes one day, resurfaces in Europe without a word. Girl you couldn't CALL? Just needed someone to worry about her a little. Is very apologetic in the aftermath.

13. Jurian- Tries to win them back, comes off like a major stalker. Has schedule memorized, will not let it go. Just wants to talk, obsessed with what went wrong.

12. Azriel- SILENT AND IN PAIN. Dude are you still thinking about her? NO but his phone background is still a picture of ex. Gets drunk, shows up at their house. Doesn't ring doorbell but sends a text. "Miss you". Doesn't cry, feels like no one will ever love them, this break up validated those feelings.

11. Tarquin- Trying to be friends in the aftermath. Falls into messy "fucking my ex but it means nothing" thinking it will change their mind. Has to go through heartbreak TWICE when they realize they won't get them back this way. Does have a hot girl summer glow-up though.

10. Emerie- Throws herself into work. Swears they don't care, spotify playlists are very suspicious. Invites you to bar but oh no its karaoke and double oh no, Emerie has queued up Kelly Clarkson's version of Happier Than Ever

9. Mor- D R U N K. Can party her way out of her feelings like its 2012. Too many one-night stands trying to forget they have feelings at all. Is not helping anything, does not stop.

8. Lucien- Fucking like he doesn't have feelings. Swears he'll never love again. Honestly, low key about the whole thing but VERY dramatic in his mind. Trying to project an aura of not caring, but very skittish about another relationship. Has to be psp psp psp'ed into the next one like a feral cat.

7. Vassa- Honestly, knows relationship was toxic but is still sad about it. Grieving through loud music and being, generally, a bitch. Apologetic when people back off. Just doesn't want to be alone. Hosts a lot of powerpoint nights to help her forget, develops a new hobby, and generally comes out of break-up a better person

6. Cassian- Sad for like, a week? Hitting the gym, working on his fitness. Gains are good, remembers he's hot...all is forgiven. Does have sex with one random against the brick of the bar on night to chase away his loneliness but generally not pining

5. Nesta- Also drinking and dancing but also cannot remember what that persons name was. Starting to think the breakup was just an excuse to party. Find out later she did the breaking up, just didn't bother to mention it.

4. Helion- One who got away means no one else can ever hurt him. That ex lingers and this new break up is easily shrugged off. Break up? Baby this was just a fling. Says it with a smile. No worries, no hard feelings. Already has someone new before break up even finished.

3. Feyre- New boyfriend in five minutes. Snaps her fingers, someone is already crawling at her feet. Can list everything he did wrong without tears in her eyes. Posts the most insane selfie, ex begs for her back. Feyre laughs with her friends later that night. Warned you she'd fuck your best friend, makes good on that threat. Ex emotionally scarred for years.

2. Eris- best way to get over someone is get under someone. Did you ever mean anything to him? Doesn't seem like it, he's already fucking that ex he told you not to worry about.

1. Amren- We were DATING? Genuinely had no idea.

#acotar lists #need a better tag for this #once again trusting the right people to find this #it is hard being the only person with the right opinions about these charactersa #my burden