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#and I had a moment of fear and confusion
aceofwonders5 months ago
thinking about Ray getting separated from her found family 馃槩
tis ok though! she鈥檚 probably finding more with the party 馃槈
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uniformbravo6 months ago
the more of this show i watch the more hp i lose every time natsume says something like聽鈥渢he people here are so nice鈥澛犫渢his town is very important to me鈥 鈥渋 treasure the time i spend here鈥 etc etc
#sorry im not done yet gjdkhgkjdjkfsjdgjskdfd#retag later#ny blogging#just the!!! contrast between those sentiments and knowing what has happened to him in the past#its enough to slam dunk me right into the hospital#like!!!! yes!!!! god!!!! he deserves it so much!!!!!! more than anyone!!!!!!! i want him to heal and be happy!!!!!!!! im gonna cry!!!!!!#speaking of things retroactively being a lot fucking sadder the further u get into this show#the one episode where. that scene i reblogged with the. he destroys the room and shigeru sees#and natsume desperately tries to explain himself before just falling completely silent and looking down at the floor#fuck. /FUCK./#that shit hits SO different after seeing the way he acted when getting blamed for the shattered windows#Silent And Looking Down At The Floor#it's like. in that moment. he was /back there./ he'd been caught being a nuisance and a burden and at the center of destroyed property#the damage was done and it was too late for him so there was no point in even trying to defend himself#the dread and fear as he waited for shigeru's reaction- anger or confusion or fear or any of the other telltale signs of impending rejection#and then shigeru's soft reassurance and his gentle touch and overwhelming kindness the likes of which natsume had never encountered before#natsume's struggle to comprehend any of this; ''how can i return this happiness?''#he doesn't feel like he deserves it..... he feels like he has to pay them back in some way for spending their kindness on /him/#hes so broken and traumatized and full of pain it HURTS#i swear to god. i swear to god#not to curse myself but if theres ever some kind of episode showing what like his first few weeks or w/e living w/ shigeru & touko were like#i will legitimately collapse and die on the spot#i dont think my fucking heart could take that shit#just thinking abt it is increasing the gravity around me#shows that fucking obliterate you
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that-one-violista year ago
not to be aha bad but
#personal#i think one of the worst things right now is the fact that the pieces fell together but in the worst way possible#i am so uncomfortable with myself for everything and i just hate being faced constantly that really all i have to do is just make the move#and ill never be anymore and there will be no more pain and i can just be done with a life that is so disillusioned and haphazard and#lost and exhausted with no real sense of direction outside of a career i cant picture myself actually being good at anymore and the only#thing that has stopped me is the people around me but now we've hit that critical point of realizing that even then in the grand scheme of#things im one person im one fleck of dust in the sand i am a fleeting moment and that if this fleeting moment were to fade away it would#suck for awhile and then what and then itd be fine even though it wouldnt be and i know that and for legal reasons this is a joke haha and#to be honest im not going to do anything because im so fucking scared of myself and ending my future oppurtunities and hurting everyone in#my life so like everythings fine but i dont know what to do because a tumblr#tag post is the best i can do other than just scream into oblivion because ive hit that point where my entire being is just vibrating with#emptiness and confusion and exhaustion and disgust and fear and feelings of being trapped and i dont know how to handle this without just#talking and going in circles and going no where but at least as long as its on something outside of my possession these thoughts i dont#have to address them because i dont know how and nothing feels real anymore and thats the critical point is when nothing feels real and i#just want and need to escape myself also because of how toxic i am handling this because im so fucking bad at just keeping it to myself and#i constantly need a feedback loop to confirm im not losing my fucking mind and that im not just making this up that my pain or whatever i#is visible which is frustrating because then im just a negative pos and i say things i shouldnt and i open up too much and聽 i just#hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#should i seek therapy? absolutely#am i going to do that? im unsure because i dont feel like i have the right to therapy and that all of this ive had coming and im feeling#these things for a reason of my own undoing.
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dymphnasprose2 hours ago
| 饾悶饾悮饾惌 饾惒饾惃饾惍饾惈 饾悺饾悶饾悮饾惈饾惌 饾惃饾惍饾惌 |
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pairing: sukuna x fem!reader
genre: smut, dark content, 18+ mdni
word count: 1.1k [cross-posted to Ao3]
tags: noncon, implied kidnapping, torture, bondage, sadism, rough sex鈥 no like really rough, double penetration, two dicks in one hole, size difference, monster-fucking, degradation, mentions of blood, explicit painful sex, mindbreak
a.notes: this is dark, very dark, don鈥檛 read this with a heavy heart okay i warned you.
hymn: personal jesus - johnny cash cover
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The sun will be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood. Before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. - Joel 2:31
* * *
A cold, stone altar is the first thing your rousing body notices. The length of your spine presses against the surface, each vertebrae screaming for escape from the sharpest chill it鈥檚 ever felt. Wrists and ankles tied together, legs spread wide to accommodate the figure above you.
What had you done to land yourself in hell?
This record is on repeat, waking up with only a moment of blissful confusion, you鈥檙e sure the pain isn鈥檛 something you鈥檒l ever get used to.
Breaking you鈥 Sukuna has done it limb from limb.
鈥淚t just doesn鈥檛 seem to me like you鈥檙e trying hard enough, little lamb.鈥 The lilt in his voice doesn鈥檛 match the mouth it came out of. He curls words into song and threat.
Your cunt tightens, the ghosts of familiar, ripping pain. Sukuna presses twin heads against you, pulling away and slapping one tip against your clit. He matches your screams with a laugh.
The gentle trace of a fingertip runs the apple of your cheek, it feels almost doting; you would lean in if you didn鈥檛 know better. You do.
Sukuna retracts two fingers, now wet with tears. When had you starting crying? You watch as he brings the pointer and middle against the flat plane of his tongue.
鈥淲hy,鈥 you ask, a single word sitting heavy in your cheeks, a word that tastes like mulch and vinegar, 鈥渨hy?鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚 the taste of you,鈥 he speaks again, echoing in the large space around you, 鈥渢he taste of your fear.鈥
Your tears, your skin, your blood鈥 it tastes like sweet ambrosia to a devil.
鈥淚 can鈥檛, I can鈥檛 do it,鈥 you know. Emphatically, you know, that there鈥檚 no prayer in any dialect that will stop Sukuna from taking what he wants.
鈥淢y precious little pet, I don鈥檛 care.鈥 He answers you simply, the smile curled around his face makes your teeth rot.
Sukuna never preps you, and unfortunately it never seems like he has to. Beyond any voice in your head to the contrary, your pussy is already wet and ready.
鈥淧oor little thing, you can鈥檛 help how your body reacts to me,鈥 he leans in to capture your wobbly bottom lip in between his teeth, 鈥渋t鈥檚 visceral.鈥
His fingers find one of your exposed nipples to tug, knowing exactly the way you鈥檒l keen in response.
And, you do.
Back arching off of the stone below you, your body moves into a touch it should be curling away from. Evil fingers map the skin he鈥檚 stolen. The first time, the thousandth鈥 it's cold and hollow against your flesh.
There鈥檚 no prep, there never is. All you can do is thank your body鈥檚 betrayal, slick and dripping as he presses in the first inch of his cock.
He gives you a few pumps, pulling all the way out before snapping back inside. One is fine, it鈥檚 a tight fit but it鈥檚 nothing you can鈥檛 accommodate. Your pussy is welcoming at first.
At first. In the very beginning, you think back, so were you.
Sweet, na茂ve thing.
The way Sukuna鈥檚 shaft rubs inside of you is enough to forget your surroundings, the context graying at the edges. His second cock bounces against your stomach with every thrust, slapping heavy on your clit for only a second at a time. Your body chases after the friction, bucking upwards in desperation.
鈥淒on鈥檛 squirm so much, darling, I鈥檒l start thinking you鈥檙e enjoying yourself.鈥
He angles his hips to reach your spongy anterior wall. You scream. The sound curdles, echoing around you, reminding you of your own voice.
Pathetic. You sound pathetic.
鈥淵ou always put up such a fight but then this cunny pulls me in like a vice. I think you can take both.鈥
The 鈥榥o鈥 sitting behind your teeth is useless, he鈥檚 never listened. He鈥檒l take from you鈥 body and soul鈥 until you鈥檙e no longer fun to play with.
To be useful, is to be alive.
Your will snaps apart and melts into the stone, relaxing your muscles as much as possible while Sukuna pulls out all the way once again.
Both large, inky hands come down to his base, lining both heads up with your messy hole. There鈥檚 no way. There鈥檚鈥
The pain is splintering, ripping through your cunt to spread all over your body. The feeling of being stuffed past the absolute brim, the feeling of being ripped apart from the inside out.
There鈥檚 a warm trickle down your lips, slick or blood or maybe both, as Sukuna begins to move. He鈥檚 slow at first, memorizing every inch of your twitching pussy. You thrash against your restraints, the hot, twisting knives of pain relentless against you.
鈥淚f you struggle too much,鈥 he coos you, thumbing away a few stray hairs, 鈥淚鈥檒l rip your heart out and eat it.鈥
You clamp down on your tongue, severing the muscle off between your canines is more preferable. You know Sukuna.
And he would savor every bite.
His pace is fast and deep, stretching you around his cocks, making sure no one will ever fit as snugly as he does.
As if he isn鈥檛 the last thing that would ever touch you.
The drag of both tips inside of you is aching, pressing against your cervix with every thrust. Even through the pain, the heat in your stomach is building, the tension deep in your core wound taught.
鈥淚鈥 please I鈥 I鈥檓 going to鈥斺
Your voice comes out broken and whiney. Begging him for reprieve has turned into a plea for more.
鈥淵ou really are my favorite little pet.鈥 Sukuna鈥檚 words do weird things to your head, the almost-compliment is soft against your heart even though the haze of anguished pleasure.
You hate him. You love him. You hate Sukuna.
But you always want to be his favorite.
His thumb and pointer finger pinch your clit, rolling it back and forth. Everything feels like it鈥檚 too much, but even so, you want more. You want it all.
鈥淚鈥檓 going to fuck so much cum into you, you鈥檒l be dripping for days.鈥 His words mix with the pressure on your clit.
Sukuna is the high and the overdose.
You cum with one last violent ripple of pain. Propelling and crashing back to earth just as hard. The blood in every vein turns to honey and then acid.
You twitch against the ropes that keep you in place, your abused cunt milking Sukuna for everything he鈥檚 worth. You pull out his own orgasms, his head falling back and his thrusts growing sloppy.
鈥淕od, you sure know how to take a beating. My precious little lamb.鈥 He pulls out and slaps his cocks against your stomach, splattering a mess of the two of you all over your abdomen.
You smile, wide and stupid and against any better judgment.
Sukuna will tear you apart, break you mind and body, and expect you to thank him.
And you do.
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鉁 all writing is dymphnasprose鈥檚 original content, please do not repost or modify. do no read my content as asmr.漏锔
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cciara20005 hours ago
My interpretation of the Blackkklansman
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I went into the Blackkklansman with no expectations because it was the first time I had heard about the movie. At times, I would get a bit confused because the movie had random moments when it would zoom in or focus on certain moments in order to emphasize the event that happened previously. One example of this would be when Flip and other men who are apart of the KKK were shooting and afterwards, Ron shows up and the camera zooms into their targets, which were of course black people running away. The director did this and let the camera stay on the bullet hole for a couple of seconds before moving onto the next scene because they wanted to highlight the extremity of their hate for the black community. I think that movie relates to race specifically because the overarching theme of the movie was that despite how different black people may be portrayed and stereotyped to be they are no different than another individual within American society. It is meant to ironic because the KKK believe that Ron Stallworth was actually a white man, despite the insistence that black people speak differently than white people. The film also makes a tribute to black lives matter events and murders that have occurred, which further strengthen the message that racism still exists in American and where it originated from. Additionally, I think there is this theme of having two Ron Stallworth鈥檚 within the film. Ron Stallworth creates a relationship between David Duke on the phone, the double life he starts when dating Patrice and his debate with Patrice over the portrayal of black people within the media shows two sides. There is also this theme of Jewish and Black struggles being similar, in the way that they are hated by the same community/society of people, but completely different struggles. For example, Flip is a jewish man but can pass as anglo-saxon protestant and it appears to be something that he has done for a majority of his life in. It is only through his experience as one of the klansman that he realizes that he has been too distant with his religion and culture to fit in with society. In terms of gender, one instance that sticks out to me. When the racist police officers sexually assaulted Patrice and her friend no one could do anything about it for the fear that they would be killed. I think it is ironic how the people that they claim to hate are still people they are willing to rape and have sexual encounters with but refuse to acknowledge the non-sexual parts of a black woman.聽
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kikiwhataboutthatbrendon6 hours ago
Our Get Along Sweater
Madness and Rage get put in gay baby jail.
鈥淚鈥檝e had it with you two!鈥 The Universe snaps, dragging Madness and Rage through the void by their ears, drawing several pained protests. They're forcibly hunched over to her level, not only are their ears being yanked, but their spines are also aching from being folded in half.
The Universe halts to a stop and lets go of their ears, then pushes them both to their knees. She whips around, eyes blazing white, dry tear tracks on her face. Madness and Rage experience twin feelings of fear at the look on their creator鈥檚 face.
鈥淵ou two have been waging this petty war for far too long.鈥 She snarls, looking between them. 鈥淚 don't understand why the soul-bound best friends I created cant get along.鈥
Madness and Rage keep their heads lowered, avoiding her gaze. They don't dare to speak, waiting for the blow of what their punishment is.
The Universe steps forward, raising both of their chins so they can meet her eyes. 鈥淵ou,鈥 she says, looking at Madness, 鈥渟hould have never used your powers on Rage.鈥
鈥淵ou,鈥 she growls, turning to Rage, 鈥渟hould have never provoked Music to use his powers in the first place.鈥
鈥淚 love you both.鈥 She states to both of them. 鈥淭here will never be a 鈥榖ut鈥 in that sentiment.鈥 The Universe swipes a thumb over the tears collecting at the corner of Madness鈥檚 eye and presses her hand into Rage鈥檚 cheek, watching his eyes close as he leans into the warmth.
鈥淵ou both have disappointed me.鈥 She tells them gently. The Universe watches their faces twist with regret. 鈥淭hat does not mean you can't resign your actions.鈥
They look up to her, and she smiles softly. 鈥淵ou two are going to play a game.鈥 She starts, her lips quirking into a smirk at their confusion. The Universe drops her hand then sits with them, getting comfortable to explain the game. 鈥淚鈥檝e created a special world, just for the two of you.鈥
Rage looks to Madness, raising an eyebrow. Madness turns, finding his questioning expression and shrugging in response.
鈥淗ow the game works,鈥 The Universe says, continuing, 鈥渋s you two work together, complete the challenge, or you die.鈥
Madness stiffens while Rage pales. The Universe still smiles. 鈥淚鈥檓 sick of you two starting shit, so you get along and makeup or your souls return to me and I get to make fun of you guys for the rest of forever.鈥
She stands, enjoying the look of panic crossing Madness and Rage鈥檚 faces. The Universe waves her hands, closing her eyes with the motion. She breathes deeply, and the world shifts around them. The void becomes a swirling mess of color, black bleeding into blues and greens that fade into solid terrain until the smell of nothing gives way to life.
Rage rubs at his eyes, adjusting to late afternoon light while Music stands to spin in a circle, taking in high cliff faces in the deep valley they stand in, relishing in the cool mist blowing from the waterfalls surrounding them. Rage distantly realizes he鈥檚 kneeling in sand, the sound of rushing water loud in his ears. He eventually picks up his head to do the same as Madness, taking a few moments longer than usual to find his balance. Madness and Rage鈥檚 shoulders brush, they don't notice The Universe鈥檚 expression softens when they don't snap at each other.
The Universe watches them take it for a moment longer before clearing her throat. 鈥淪o, this is the world you鈥檙e confined to.鈥 She states, then gestures to a glimmering border that鈥檚 easily missed at first glance. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e confined to this space, you can't get out, you鈥檙e stuck with one another.鈥
Rage鈥檚 face scrunches at the thought, casting Madness an unamused glance. Madness forces himself to keep his gaze trained on The Universe while she continues.
鈥淓very five days the water level is going to rise three feet.鈥 She explains carefully, looking both Madness and Rage in the eye while gesturing at the lake a few feet from them. 鈥淪urvive for as long as you can, I鈥檒l bring you back to the void before you die, understand?鈥
They both nod, bringing a smile to The Universe鈥檚 face. 鈥淢y beautiful boys.鈥 She mutters, moving to set a gentle hand on the sides of their faces. Madness leans into the touch, setting his hand over hers. Rage takes her hand and presses a quick kiss to her knuckles before she lets go.
The Universe steps back to give them one last look over, before nodding a goodbye. 鈥淕ood luck.鈥
鈥淭hank you.鈥 Rage says, dipping his head.
鈥淪ee you soon.鈥 Madness states, confidence in his words.
The Universe smiles with a wave and disappears in a shimmer of light.
When Madness snaps towards Rage the other god鈥檚 fists are already raised.
鈥淚 fucking hate you.鈥 They say in concert.
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piecesofem6 hours ago
Hey can you write a fic where Fred meets the reader, his ex at Bill and Fleur's wedding as she is Ron's best friend?
Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader
A/N: Okay, so I decided to do this one as sort of a long blurb because I am super busy with school this week, but you鈥檝e been waiting way too long for this. I have some fluff in there, but I also added angst to spice it up a bit, hehe. SO, I hope you enjoy it and feel free to give me any sort of feedback you may be comfortable with!!
Warnings: Angsty, talks of fighting death eaters
Word Count: 1.3k
Watching from across the tent as the tender essence of the kindling candles shined on your silky skin, Fred stared at you in an entranced gaze as your bursting laughter lingered all the way over to where he stood filling his ears. While he had known you would be here tonight to support his older brother, as you were still very close to Ron, he was surprised at just how much the feelings of remembrance washed over him at the near sight of you.聽
Although he wasn鈥檛 intentionally avoiding you, you couldn鈥檛 help but hone in on the fact that you hadn鈥檛 seen very much of the brown-eyed bow since the prior ceremony. Feeling a lingering gaze just to your right, you gradually tilt your head to the side to be met with nothing less than a soft smile from your ex-boyfriend, Fred Weasley. Immediately you sense a burning tint creeping from your chest to your face. While you wanted to blame it on the champagne in hand, you knew that the boy still had such effects on you even when he said nothing at all.聽
Dismissing yourself from your current conversation, you gently clutch the side of your emerald satin dress to aid you in walking across the tent. Seeing the boy tense up a little as you approach him, you greet him with a wide-toothed smile feeling the alcohol gently unwinding your nerves.聽
鈥淪eems you鈥檝e got a staring problem, eh?鈥 you laugh out watching the deep-red blush creep up to the rounds of his cheeks as he flashes you one of his infamous smiles.聽
鈥淐ouldn鈥檛 help it. I guess I saw something too beautiful to take my eyes off of,鈥 he shot back with a subtle wink before bringing his glass of firewhiskey to the plump of his lips.聽
聽鈥淥h, is that so?鈥 you say just above a whisper as you bite the midst of your lower lip subtly admiring just how handsome he looks in a suit. While you definitely remembered his formal attire from your time at the Yule Ball together, the man who stood in front of you filled it out so differently now.聽
聽You鈥檙e brought out of your lingering gaze as he brings his protruding hand out to tilt your head up from just below the softness of your chin.聽
聽鈥淢y eyes are up here, darling,鈥 he chuckles out as you both begin to giggle. The playful and comfortable vibrations are ones that have never seemed to go away. While you weren鈥檛 together anymore, you still felt yourself fall into your natural state when you were around him. He made you feel so safe and so far from the worries outside of the intertwined admiration swarming between the two of you.聽
聽You two gradually partake in typical small talk before falling into your old ways of goofy laughter and mutual joke-making. After a few comments which left you both gasping for air for fear of dying from laughter, you both collected yourselves as Ron and George giggled while shooting the two of you confused looks from a couple of feet away. Gently coming back down from your humor high, the two of you stopped for a second to intently stare at one another in a state of admiration. You stayed like that for a moment before you worked up the courage to ask the question that鈥檇 been on your mind all evening.聽
聽鈥淔red, I was wondering if may-鈥 you begin to say as you鈥檙e immediately cut off as a burst of piercing blue light in the shape of an orb breaches the fabric of the tent.聽
聽The two of you slowly walk over to stand next to Ron and George as the orb broadcasts a message about the falling of the ministry. Sharing a confused look between the four of you, you unknowingly suck in a deep breath holding it as the eerie tone replays itself over and over again.聽
聽Before you can open your mouth to speak, there are flashes of charcoal smoke invading every part of the tent with death eaters appearing and suddenly disappearing right before your very eyes. Instinctively, Fred wraps a brawny arm around your waist to hold you with an impenetrable grip before the two of you cast any spell you can possibly think of in attempts to aid your friends and family from the constant line of emerging threats.聽
聽Ron now stands yards away from you as he spares concerned glances between you and Hermoine who is standing with Harry clear across the tent contemplating if he can get to you in time to reach the others.聽
聽鈥淕o! I鈥檝e got her,鈥 Fred shouts to his concern-ridden brother before blasting his wand within ear length of the boy to hit an approaching enemy behind him. Nodding his head frantically, you and Ron share a fear-filled look of understanding as he darts over to Harry and Hermoine before sweeping away within a matter of seconds.
聽鈥淐ome on,鈥 Fred commands without sparing you the slightest glance before taking your hand to swiftly guide the two of you near other members of his family, feeling safer in a pack. You couldn鈥檛 wrap your head around the sheer thought of being in danger at the home in which you鈥檇 always felt the safest, but you knew at that moment that you had to do everything you could to defend it. Little did you know that the same thoughts were running through Fred鈥檚 head as well.聽
The two of you eventually stood with the back of his wide frame pressed against your own as thoughts of ways you were going to keep one another safe sped through both of your minds while you continued blasting orbs from the tips of your wands. You鈥檇 lost him once and you were more than determined to pry anything away that had the intention of taking him away.
聽As the chaos subdued, you were left to help the Weasleys pick up the pieces of a broken union. Although everyone was prepared for such events, you couldn鈥檛 help but carry a heavy heart as you shuffled around the rubble of what was supposed to be a beautiful milestone for Bill and Fleur. Holding the remains of a scorched bouquet in your hands, you gently slid your fingers over the coarse petals falling one by one into the remains on fabric-lined floors.聽
You found yourself lost in your own scrambled thoughts as you felt a gentle, yet firm, hand come to linger amongst the curve of your lower back. Tilting your head up ever-so-slightly, you were met with debilitated, yet somehow still soft, mahogany eyes peering down into your own. Giving him the widest glistening eyes he鈥檇 ever seen, you subtly motion towards the tattered bouquet you found yourself clutching to. Instantly understanding just how overwhelming tonight had been for, not only you, but everyone else, he tenderly pried it from your hands and considerately placed them on a table behind you.聽
Overwhelmed with fear, angst, and despair for what the future held for all of your loved ones you felt staggering waves of sorrow coursing through your body to eventually spill out in the forms of silent tears from your eyes.聽
鈥淪hh shh shh,鈥 Fred quietly hushed you before pulling you into the broadness of his chest. Clinging to the coarse fabric of his vest, you felt him obligingly petting the back of your head with his sizable hand. Racking his brain for the right words to say, he continued to pet your head while slightly swaying with your tiny shaking frame wrapped in his arms.
聽鈥淚鈥檝e got you,鈥 he breathed out still trying to wrap his head around the situation himself. While his heart was shattering, not only for his family and friends but for you as well. He had no idea what was going to come from the events of tonight, but he knew that he had to hold you closer than ever in this very moment to keep himself from breaking.聽
聽He needed you, and you needed him.
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pnf-lover988 hours ago
GO - That decisive moment
There's a part of the Tadfield Airbase scene in the Good Omens book where Sergeant Shadwell tried to shoot at Beelzebub with his shotgun, missing by a mere second because he had already vanished.
... But what if the Sergeant hadn't missed?
鈥淚 hope someone tells your father about this disobedience of yours!鈥 Gabriel said to Adam, with a scolding tone.
鈥淥h, they will.鈥 Beelzebub confirmed, next to him. 鈥淎nd your father will not be pleazzzed with it.鈥
Angel and demon were about to leave when the noise of a loud explosion filled the air.
Instinctively, Newt and Anathema held each other close, scared by the sudden noise. Everyone took confused looks around, trying to figure out what had just happened; was that the noise of a gun firing a shot? Where did the shot fire from, and where was it aimed?
Aziraphale, Adam and Crowley, from the point where they were standing, were the first ones to find the answer to all those questions. In front of them, Lord Beelzebub was standing still, with a wide-eyed expression on her face that was a mix of shock and fear. The woman let out a feeble whine and took a tentative step to her left, holding a hand out to grab Gabriel鈥檚 arm, but she fell to the ground before she got the chance to reach for him.
Gabriel, surprised, turned towards her with a sharp motion. 鈥淏eelzebub!鈥 The angel exclaimed, moving down to kneel next to her. He saw blood coming out of her body and, given that he couldn鈥檛 locate any visible wound on her front side, he deduced she must have been hit in the back. 鈥淲hat happened?鈥
All eyes turned to the only person that was holding a weapon.
鈥淢ister Shadwell!鈥 Tracy exclaimed, her eyes shifting from the man鈥檚 distraught face to the shotgun he was holding, shocked by the fact that the Sergeant had actually fired a shot. The same Shadwell looked like he couldn鈥檛 believe what he鈥檇 just done, feeling as if he was just witnessing the fact from the outside.
Gabriel hesitated for a moment. 鈥楾o hell our secret!鈥 He then thought with a grimace. 鈥業 won鈥檛 let you get discorporated like this!鈥
鈥淓verything is fine.鈥 He said, and placed a hand on Beelzebub鈥檚 stomach. 鈥淭here, like nothing happened.鈥
Immediately, Beelzebub opened her eyes, taking a sharp breath. The demon sat up and brought a hand to her back to find the gunshot鈥檚 wound healed. She looked to Gabriel, who was still kneeled by her side, and then to the man with the shotgun.
鈥淵ou!鈥 Beelzebub growled to Shadwell, getting back up to her feet. 鈥淵ou little, miserable creature! How dare you-鈥 The woman marched towards him, but Gabriel was faster and held her back, grabbing her by her arm.
鈥淟et go of me!鈥 Beelzebub ordered furiously as she turned towards the angel, trying to break free from his grip by pulling back her arm, but Gabriel didn鈥檛 let go.
鈥淲e are both awaited somewhere else by our armies,鈥 Gabriel reminded her. 鈥淎ll we have to think about right now is to consult with the headquarters. It鈥檚 not the time to act out a revenge against a single human being!鈥
Lord Beelzebub held his gaze for a couple more seconds, then nodded drily. Gabriel let go of her arm.
鈥淚 am not done with you. When time is due, you鈥檒l be regretting this very dearly!鈥 Beelzebub hissed against Shadwell, who was now trembling like a leaf, before vanishing into thin air.
- - - - -
Hours later, when it was made clear that the Armageddon was officially avoided, Crowley and Aziraphale, as they commented on everything that had happened that day, couldn鈥檛 help but talk about the odd behavior that Gabriel showed at the airbase; usually, Aziraphale said, he was cold and distant towards everybody, including the people of his own side, and yet he was so worried when Beelzebub, who after all was an enemy to him, was shot.
Maybe there was something going on that they didn鈥檛 know about. And who knew鈥攖he two friends thought鈥攊f maybe, deep down, their bosses wouldn鈥檛 have wanted war to break out either.
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need2stopprocrastinating8 hours ago
Dead Nightmare | Jason Todd x Reader
Requested by: @hedone26鈥
Request: Hiya could you please do a story where the Reader somehow gets exposed to scarecrow's fear gas and is stuck reliving when they found out that Jason died? Thank you!
You ever just remember all the shit Jason went through? Yeah, that鈥檚 what I felt when writing this. I love this book nerd.
Your eyes burned as the toxins began to course itself through your body. You only got distracted for a brief second when Scarecrow sprayed his fear gas. You had already inhaled the toxin before you could even shield yourself.
Within seconds, your vision became disorientated. There was an intense pounding in your head. Your heart rate increased as you felt the fear and anxiety building up. You stumbled back and gripped your head. Then the hallucination started.
You found yourself standing in the doorway of Jason鈥檚 room in the manor. He was packing his Robin suit into his luggage. 鈥楯ay, what are you doing?鈥
鈥榃hat does it look like I鈥檓 doing?鈥 He threw his bag over his shoulder. 鈥業鈥檓 going鈥
鈥楤ut Bruce said -鈥
鈥楤ruce doesn鈥檛 know what he鈥檚 saying鈥 He glared. 鈥業鈥檓 going to find my mom鈥
His glare fell when he saw how worried you look. With a sigh, he took off his hoodie and wrapped it around you. He placed a quick kiss on your cheek. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment. 鈥楧on鈥檛 worry, I鈥檒l come back and introduce you to my mom. I鈥檒l be safe. I promise鈥櫬
鈥楯ason - !鈥 You called out to him as he walked past you. A part of you wanted to stop him. You could easily do so, but you knew how important this was to him. You know that finding out about his birth mom meant everything to him. You couldn鈥檛 take that away from him.
Your head started to hurt. You closed your eyes and rubbed your forehead. When you reopened your eyes, you were standing on top of the rubble of an explosion. You were back in your old uniform. The one you wore when you first started out.
鈥楯ason鈥 he鈥 protected me鈥 You looked at the woman lying beside you. She took one last breath before passing away. You stared at her, confused and worried. Looking up, you saw Batman crouching down in the center.聽
鈥楤鈥︹ You gulped as you forced yourself to stand up and take a step forward. Your stomach churned with panic when you didn鈥檛 hear your mentor reply. Gripping your fists, you walked up to him. Your eyes widened at the sight before you.
There, in his arms, laid Jason. His blood stained his skin and his Robin suit. His skin was covered in bruises, cuts, and burn marks. You鈥檝e seen him beaten up before, but not like this. You fell to your knees, your hand cupping your mouth as your tears burst down your face.
No no no no. This isn鈥檛 how he鈥檚 supposed to go. Jason was supposed to find his mom and come back safe and sound. He was supposed to live a long life. He was meant to fight crime as Robin and then probably switch out to something else like Dick did. He was meant to stay by your side. He鈥檚 not supposed to die young.聽
You let out a loud cry. Batman looked down at you, his own tears flowing down. He moved one arm to pull you close to his side. You buried your face into his chest. You couldn鈥檛 bear yourself to look at Jason鈥檚 body. You felt Bruce鈥檚 arm squeeze you tightly.
He then disappeared. You looked around the darkness that suddenly surrounded you. You called for Bruce - for anybody - but no one answered.
鈥(y/n)鈥︹ You turned around, feeling hopeful when you recognized the voice to be Jason鈥檚. That hope vanished the moment you saw Jason鈥檚 corpse standing a couple feet away from you. He looked to be in the middle of decomposing. 鈥榃hy did you let me go?鈥
鈥(y/n)!鈥 Jason ran toward you. You were down on your knees, crying as you hugged yourself. He had quickly dealt with Scarecrow before realizing that you had inhaled the toxins. He placed his hands on your shoulders. 鈥(y/n), look at me鈥
鈥淚 - I didn鈥檛 mean to let you go鈥 He heard you mutter. Shit. You鈥檙e already hallucinating. 鈥淚 wanted you to meet your mom. I鈥 I thought you鈥檇 be safe鈥
鈥榊ou knew what Bruce said. You could have told me to stay. You could have told Alfred. I died because of you!鈥
鈥淟isten, (y/n),鈥 Jason quickly picked you up in his arms and started running. You started screaming when he did so. You struggled against him, telling him to let go. 鈥淲e鈥檒l talk about what you鈥檙e seeing later. Right now, we need to get you the antidote.鈥
Jason鈥檚 corpse had multiplied and now there were a bunch of them grabbing you. You cried for them to stop. They kept asking you why you left him to die alone and that you鈥檙e the one to blame. You continued to explain that it wasn鈥檛 like that, but you were slowly starting to believe that their words were true.
鈥榊ou should experience death as well鈥 The first corpse conjured up a gun and pointed it at your forehead while the others restrained you.
鈥(y/n), no!鈥 Jason tried to stop you from pointing his gun at your head. He finally brought you back to the cave. Alfred rushed to go get the antidote and supplies to heal you both.聽
鈥榃e can鈥檛 die in peace without you. Won鈥檛 you join us?鈥 The corpses said.
鈥業鈥︹ You looked down and started to cry. The corpses continued to mock you and get you to agree on your death. 鈥淚鈥檓 so sorry, Jay鈥
Jason stared at you, finally injecting the antidote in you. How could he be so stupid? Of course your fear would be that. It鈥檚 the one thing that haunts you both. You were both young and starting out as sidekicks to Batman. Your lives weren鈥檛 that great to begin with, but it started to become that way when Bruce took you both in. Having you trying to steal the Batmobile tires with him was probably one of the best things Jason could have done in his life. It got you the life you deserved.
Meanwhile, he was never meant to live the life Bruce wanted for him.
鈥淭here鈥檚 no reason for you to apologize鈥 He took off your mask. His hand moved to brush some strands of your hair out of your face. Your eyes were slowly closing shut. 鈥淲hat happened to me was because I was a stupid-ass, cocky, kid. I don鈥檛 blame you at all. B is something else, but you get what I mean.鈥 He paused for a second. 鈥淒id you know that you were the first person I thought about when I came back to life? It was a vision of you smiling and calling out to me to wake up. So I did. I may have died for my mom, but I lived for you. So, come on, wake up. It鈥檚 just a nightmare. None of that is real鈥
鈥業 thought I told you to stop crying, idiot鈥 You looked up to see a thirteen-year-old Jason staring at you. He didn鈥檛 look like a corpse. He looked just like the boy you had watched leave the manor. The dark space you were in turned white.
鈥業鈥檓 sorry鈥 You muttered, looking back down.
鈥楢nd stop saying sorry too鈥 Jason nagged. 鈥楾his is why the others push you around. You gotta toughen up鈥
鈥楤ut I鈥檓 scared鈥 Your voice came out as a whimper. You felt like a little kid again. You hugged your knees.
鈥楾hen don鈥檛 be鈥 Jason placed a hand on your shoulder. 鈥業鈥檒l be right here with ya. So wake up!鈥
You murmured in your sleep. He smiled a bit when he felt you nuzzle closer to his touch. His smile only grew when he saw your beautiful (e/c) eyes flutter open. You brought one of your hands to stroke his cheek.
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know you could be quite the romantic鈥 You sighed. He let out a small laugh while grabbing your hand.
鈥淵ou better not tell the others鈥 He joked.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 know鈥 You smirked. 鈥淚鈥檒l probably keep to myself if you make me some of your delicious enchiladas鈥
鈥淪ure, and we鈥檒l even cuddle while watching your favorite movies鈥
鈥淓ven the ones that you don鈥檛 like?鈥
鈥淓ven the ones that I don鈥檛 like鈥
You giggled, pulling him into a hug. Jason held you tightly. Alfred walked back in with a tray of tea, feeling relieved to see you safe. The sweet moment was eventually cut short by the rest of your family bursting in to make sure you鈥檙e okay. Jason was pushed away from you so the others could look at you.
鈥淎re you sure you鈥檙e okay?鈥 Steph asked while Cass sat next to you, cuddling to your side.
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 seem to have any other severe injuries,鈥 Tim observed. Duke nodded his head, sighing in relief.
鈥淵ou almost gave me a heart attack鈥 Dick sighed.
鈥淨uit being dramatic鈥 Babs slapped his chest.
鈥淵ou should have protected her, Todd鈥 Damian sat on the other side of you. 鈥淢ake sure this doesn鈥檛 happen again鈥
鈥淭rust me, it won鈥檛鈥 Jason glared at the boy.
鈥淎lright, everybody鈥 Bruce grabbed their attention. 鈥淟et鈥檚 give (y/n) some space. It鈥檚 been a long night鈥
The man glanced at Jason, giving him a nod and pat on the shoulder before turning to leave. You waved at them, assuring them that you were fine as they left the cave. Jason sat back next to you. You rested your head on his shoulder and grabbed his hand. He placed a kiss on your head.
鈥淚t鈥檚 okay to sleep. I鈥檓 right here鈥 He soothed.
鈥淚 know鈥 You took in a deep breath, closing your eyes. 鈥淚 love you鈥
鈥淚 love you too, you idiot鈥
You fell asleep in Jason鈥檚 arms that night. The nightmares from earlier had disappeared. You only dreamt of the life you have now. Your family and friends laughing and smiling beside one another. Jason turned to you, a loving gaze in his eyes. He reached out his hand toward you and you took it. For a second, laughing alongside him took you back to when you were thirteen again. It was the best dream you could ever have.
Jason Todd Masterlist聽 聽 聽 聽 聽Main Masterlist
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leadback-taurus14 hours ago
Tortured Souls Part 2
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Pairing: Bucky x Reader Warnings: mentions of torture Word Count: 2128 A/n: I hope is an adequate second part! Debating on a happy ending final part but I kind of like this as an ending. ---Part 1---
It had been years since Bucky had escaped Hydra鈥檚 clutches, he had spent nearly all of that time trying to remember who he is, the rest he had spent looking for you. Almost immediately after he pulled his supposed old friend out of the water, he went to find you. However, when he arrived you weren鈥檛 there, no one was, the place had been completely abandoned. He ran around the entire facility, desperately trying find anything that could tell him where they had taken you, but they left no trace of where they could have been going. He only had one room left to check, he paused at the door, debating on whether or not he should go in, the suffering he endured in that room was unexplainable but if there was any trace of you in there, he had to find it. He pushed the door open and walked in, he took a few deep breaths to compose himself and started looking around. He鈥檇 looked through absolutely everything and found absolutely nothing in return, he was about to leave when he glanced at the chair that had caused him so much pain for so many years, he was just simply staring at it when something caught his attention. While looking closer at the arm rest of the chair he noticed something unusual, nail marks, Bucky didn鈥檛 have nails long enough to mark the wood, that鈥檚 when it hit him鈥ou did.
鈥淧lease no鈥 He whispered to himself, collapsing on the floor in front of the chair where you suffered the same torture as him.
鈥淣ot her鈥
It had been years since you last saw Soldat, since your torture began, since you had been taken further away from. You still believed with all your heart that he would come and save you, that he was still looking for you. You had been taken to an undisclosed Hydra location where your torture continued, they were determined to discover the powers that you must have from the Tesseract, it had worked for the Sokovian twins, so why wasn鈥檛 it working for you. You were sat in your cell, which wasn鈥檛 that much different from your last one, it was at quiet times like this where you thought of Soldat. You did truly believe that one day he would burst through the door and take you away, like in the fairy tales your mother would read to you as a little girl鈥erhaps you read a few too many of them. You often thought of where he could be now and if he remembered his old self or you, you would also unconsciously imagine what it would be like if you had both gotten out, what your life together could鈥檝e looked like. You were in one these daydreaming moments when you suddenly heard shouting and gun shots outside your cell. You listened carefully to see if you could make out what was happening outside but there was just silence, then you heard footsteps start to approach your cell door. As they got closer you jumped up and backed into the wall on the opposite side of the cell to the door. The footsteps stopped right in front of your cell; two small shadows appeared in the crack at the bottom of the door. Could it be Soldat? Did he finally find you? Your hopes were crushed when the door slowly swung open, revealing the silhouette of a man who did not resemble Soldat in the slightest. He didn鈥檛 make an effort to enter you cell.
鈥淲ho are you?鈥 You croaked out, your throat still horse from your screams. He didn鈥檛 answer you, he just pulled out a book and flipped a few pages. You stared at him in both confusion and fear when he suddenly started speaking in Russian. You suddenly felt lightheaded and uneasy, your hands began to tremble as you brought them up to your ears to block out the man鈥檚 voice. What was happening to you? What was he saying? Your thoughts began to slip away, you tried desperately to hold onto them, clamming your eyes shut and shaking you head from side to side, pushing your back harder against the wall. The last thing you saw before everything slipped away was your last memory of Soldat, that small smile he gave you the last time he saw you, then there was nothing.
鈥淔reight Car鈥
Bucky and Steve had managed to finally track down Zemo, Tony now tagging along. Bucky had gotten his memories back, he remembered Steve and the man he used to be and of course, he had always remembered you, you were never forgotten. In a way Bucky had hoped that finding Zemo would somehow bring him a step closer to finding you but so far that didn鈥檛 seem likely. Bucky, Steve and Tony entered a large room where found the 5 other Winter Soldiers, but something wasn鈥檛 quite right.
鈥淚f it鈥檚 any comfort, they died in their sleep鈥 a voice came over a PA. That鈥檚 when they all noticed, the soldiers were dead, all of them a bullet wound through their head.
鈥淒id you really think I wanted more of you?鈥 the voice spoke again.
鈥淲hat the hell?鈥 Bucky muttered under his breath. The last time he saw these soldiers they threatened your safety, so he wasn鈥檛 too disappointed at this outcome.
鈥淚鈥檓 grateful to them though, they brought you here鈥 All of a sudden, a small square of light flicked on, revealing Zemo safely inside a bunker.
鈥淵ou killed innocent people in Vienna just to bring us here?鈥 Steve asked, approaching the bunker.
鈥淚鈥檝e thought about nothing else for over a year. I studied you, I followed you. But now that you鈥檙e standing here, I just realised that there鈥檚 a bit of green in the blue of your eyes. How nice to find a flaw鈥 Zemo chuckled.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e Sokovian, is that what this is about?鈥 Steve asked.
鈥渘o, I鈥檓 here because I made a promise鈥 Zemo explained.
鈥測ou lost someone鈥 Steve stated,
鈥淚 lost everyone鈥 Zemo looked at Bucky now 鈥渁nd so will you鈥 everyone was confused at that remark when suddenly Bucky was attacked from behind, he landed on the ground with and groan and flipped over onto his back. As he did his attacker straddled him, holding him down. That鈥檚 when he got a good look at who had struck him, he heart dropped when his eyes met a pair that he was all too familiar with, eyes that used to hold both sympathy and admiration for him now held nothing,
鈥淣o, not you鈥 His voice broke. You continued to stare down at him, pulling out a knife from your hip holster, he noticed this and suddenly flipped you over, now pinning you down. Your knife flew out of your hand due the quick moment, sliding across the floor to the other side of the room, you groaned and took the opportunity to land a punch to Bucky鈥檚 jaw. He groaned at the hit as you struggled to get out of his grip, kicking your legs and squirming which only made him hold you down more. Bucky looked up to see Tony and Steve prepare to attack you -.
鈥淣o!鈥 He yelled out to them making them lower their guard 鈥渄on鈥檛 hurt her鈥 he looked Steve dead in eye, begging his friend not to hurt you. Steve gave him a nod and he looked back down at you, still fighting to get out of his hold.
鈥淐ome back to me, I know you鈥檙e in there Y/n鈥 He spoke softly, catching your attention and making you lay still. 鈥淚鈥檓 sorry I couldn鈥檛 find you, I tried, I鈥檝e been looking for years, and I haven鈥檛 stopped鈥 quiet tears were starting to run down his cheeks, falling onto yours and making you flinch slightly. 鈥淚 should have looked harder, I should have stopped his from happening to you, all I ever wanted was to protect you and I failed, I failed you鈥 He shut his eyes to try and stop his pathetic crying when a pair of soft hands cupped his cheeks, a thumb gently caressed his jaw where he had taken a hit.
鈥淪oldat?鈥 that voice, that sweet voice that he had been missing for years, that voice that could calm him instantly, your voice. He opened his eyes, looking down at you once again, franticly finding your eyes to check if you were really there and sure enough, he saw the light flood back into them.
鈥淚t鈥檚 Bucky鈥 he smiled at you which caused you to pause, his full smile was beautiful like you thought. He watched as the realisation hit you, he had remembered, he remembers his old self, just like you knew he would. You smiled back at him and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling your self up slightly to bury your head in his shoulder.
鈥淏ucky鈥︹ You whispered, sending chills down his spine, he鈥檚 imagined you saying his name so many times, but his mind definitely didn鈥檛 do it justice. He pulled himself up off the ground, pulling you up with him, you let go of him and gave him another smile. His happiness was short lived when a small TV flicked on, displaying a date he knew all too well.
His smile dropped as he looked at Tony.
You had watched the fight from a far, knowing all too well that without mind control there鈥檚 no way you鈥檇 stand a chance. You鈥檇 be a distraction for Solda-Bucky, anyway. At one-point they had all taken off, leaving you in the room with the deceased soldiers and a now missing Zemo. You debated on whether or not you should go after him, but you knew he was probably long gone and Bucky could need you, you ran out of the room to try and find the three men. You soon found them battling it out in a cement room, you watched from the ladder as the men fought, hoping that no one from either side of the battle would be badly injured. Just as you thought that you saw Tony do something to Bucky, making him fall back. You could tell by the look on his face that something wasn鈥檛 right, that鈥檚 when you saw his arm, or what was left of it.
鈥淏ucky!鈥 You called out; you quickly made your way down to him.
鈥淕et out of here鈥 He rasped out, but you ignored him, hooking your hands under his armpits and dragging him as far away from the fight as possible, placing his bloodied head in your lap. You brushed his hair away from his face to get a better look at what you鈥檇 have to patch up later, his eyes were closed which made you panic slightly. Steve finished off the fight with Tony and made his way over to the two of you, Bucky had opened his eyes as he approached, you sighed in relief as Steve helped Bucky on to his and started to leave, helping Bucky walk. You jumped up and followed them out of the building.
The chill of the snowy peak hit your skin as you exited the facility, you walked a little way out into the snow and looked out across the mountain. Bucky saw you wonder away and tapped Steve to let him know he was okay to walk, Steve let him go and watched him limp over to the woman he鈥檇 tried so desperately to find. Steve smiled, he barely knew this woman but over the last few days she鈥檚 all Bucky spoke about, Steve had never known him to be so devoted to a woman but it seems that he鈥檚 leaving the play boy part of his old self behind.
鈥淗ey Doll鈥 He greeted when he arrived beside you. Doll鈥ou liked that.
鈥淗ey Bucky鈥 You smiled, stepping a bit closer and leaning your head on his right shoulder. His metal arm was definitely beyond anything you could repair.
鈥淚鈥檓 sorry I took so long to find you鈥ut I guess in a way, you found me鈥 You smiled, you knew that you were never going to get tired of seeing that smile.
鈥淒on鈥檛 apologise, I knew you鈥檇 save me, and you did, just not in any of the ways I imagined鈥 You both knew that it was the love you felt for each other that brought you back to him.
鈥淪teve is going to take me somewhere to get this crap out of my head, do you want to come with us?鈥 He said, slipping his hand into your, intertwining your fingers.
鈥淎s long as we do it together鈥 You stated, he turned his head slightly to place a small kiss on your hair.
鈥淵eah, together鈥
@mayafatimakhan @carrietrekkie
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shinsoutm21 hours ago
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@sevensav--d鈥嬄狅紡 鈾
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聽 聽 聽hitoshi鈥檚 feet drag on the carpet as he walks to itoshi鈥檚 dorm, cup of coffee in one hand and his switch in the other. today鈥檚 training had been difficult; quirk training always is for hitoshi. the parts of themselves people leave behind after he brainwashes them, the fear and confusion he takes on to make their minds his own and make their bodies go slack always leaves him emotionally and physically drained. his automatic response is to seek out itoshi. he arrives at the dorm and pauses at the sound of his friend鈥檚 voice, brow furrowing as he listens in on the short responses itoshi is giving. he must be on the phone. hitoshi鈥檚 first thought is that it鈥檚 itoshi鈥檚 parents, which is confirmed a moment later when itoshi says goodbye.
聽 聽 聽he sounds upset. really upset. hitoshi turns away from the door, walking back down the hall at a faster pace than he came. one of the perks of being a third year was that they no longer had to ask express permission to leave campus. the convenience store down the road carries itoshi鈥檚 favorite snacks, the stupid ones that come in pouches. hitoshi buys a bunch, grabbing several kinds. he carries it to the counter alongside a few drinks, mostly coffee and energy drinks. the whole expedition takes all of fifteen minutes, and then hitoshi is back at itoshi鈥檚 dorm. he kicks the door gently instead of knocking; both hands are full, with a few bags and his switch.聽鈥 hey, ragdoll! open the door, i brought some stuff. thought we could have a...a boys鈥 night or whatever. 鈥
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crowtrinketsa day ago
Barista鈥檚 Adventures in Wonderland
Chapter 2: An Elf, a Manor, and a Catman
The Barista is still trying to find a way out of this strange dream, but they meet even stranger people on the way
Word Count: 3,789
Pt 1
Whooooo chapter 2, I stopped at like 2000 and was like yknow what lets keep going ;u;. Enjoy, gender neutral Barista as always
The dirt crunches under my feet as I follow down the path. Thank god I bought nice shoes for work otherwise I would be covered in blisters by now. As I continue down I spot something in the brush of trees. I get closer and realize it鈥檚 a door inlaid into a rock wall. The bushes surrounding it unfortunately are all white giving it an ominous look.
"Go through the creepy door? Or continue in this creepy forest in a strange place?" I ask out loud. Weighing my options I grab the key Felix handed me earlier and put it in the lock. Wincing for a second in fear that this door too will scream at me. But nothing happens and the key turns to unlock the door for me. I walk in and close the door behind me and stop to observe the room I've entered. A yellow couch and a desk sit in the center. There's a large bookcase that extends across the walls and reaches the ceilings, but despite its massive size, there are still piles of books stacked everywhere. Some reaching half my height. In the corner, I spot a kitchenette.
"Man this guy likes to read," I mumble to myself. "What was he asking for again his relic? And Glass-" I stop mid-sentence. Patting the pockets of my apron I pull out the book and glasses I picked up earlier and held them in front of me.
"Right I had them all this time鈥 This is awkward," I mutter and place the items on the desk. "Maybe I can wait here and when he comes looking for me I can ask for a way out of wherever here is," I speculate. My stomach rumbles and I place my hand on it in an attempt to console complaints. My eyes travel to the kitchenette I saw earlier.
"I mean maybe a snack couldn't hurt, he did ask me for a favor," Approaching the cabinets I open them only to find, a small wine bottle that says drink me.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me," I grab the bottle to inspect it, opening the lid I take a whiff, sure enough, coffee. Just like the bottle from before. Running a hand over my face I let out a frustrated groan.
"This is the weirdest dream I've ever had!" I look back at the small bottle still open and still in my hand.
"That鈥檚 right鈥 a dream," I ponder for a second and then. "Fuck it," I upturn the bottle and empty its contents into my mouth swallowing it like a cheap tequila shot. The flavor of lattes and espresso fills my taste buds and then it's gone. I put the bottle down and inspect my hands, trying to determine if I have grown or shrunk this time. Nothing.
"Well, I guess that wasn鈥檛 so-" I stop when my head smacks something hard above me. Letting out a slew of curses I crouch and cradle my poor crown.
"Ow ok, I guess I grew," Still crouching I look around the room, in my rapid growth it seems I had knocked over a few of the many stacks of books. I adjust so I'm sitting on my bottom and try to gauge my situation.
"Ok well I definitely cannot fit through the door," I say as I see my shoe is now much larger than said door. As I shuffle uncomfortably I hear voices approach.
"Well I don't know where he went I asked him to fetch my things but he has yet to return," a familiar voice grows closer, muffled behind the door.
"But the Duke-" an unfamiliar voice.
"Yes! I am aware the Duke is still expecting me but I cannot leave without my glasses or my relic, I will only be a moment," I let out a small gasp when I realize it's Felix. The door suddenly is pushed open but is stopped by the heel of my shoe.
"Oof! What in the heavens," Felix sounds annoyed and confused. I move my foot so he can open the door properly. He pushes the door open and lets out a gasp when he sees me.
"Hi Felix as you can see I'm kind of in a sticky situation," I attempt a joke.
"The giant!" he yells. Felix lifts a fist and green fire emits from his palm when he opens his hand.
"Oh! No thanks," I say and I quickly kick the door closed careful not to break it. I hear shouting and banging on the other side of the door as I use my foot to keep it closed, trying to find some way out. I grab the couch, which might as well be the size of a Barbie's in comparison to my large size, and place it in front of the door.
"I am ordering you to apprehend this giant!"
"Sorry sir you're not Miss Anka you can't order me to do anything," an exhaustive groan escapes Felix.
"Must I do everything myself?" he grumbles. I crawl over to the desk and start to search the drawers hoping I can find anything to shrink me or even to defend myself. I am not in the mood to be burned by green fire. I finally open the bottom drawer and I find a familiar item. A desert case with flan inside labeled "eat me". Without making any second guesses I upturn the case and drop the flan into my hand, throwing it into my mouth and praying I shrink to a decent size. Squinting my eyes closed I wait and wait, the desert case seeming to grow larger in my hand. When I open my eyes it's bigger than before, not comically so but much too large to appear normal. I stand and realize I'm about as high as the desk.
"Ok toddler size is better but still not great," I sigh. The sound of the door cracking startles me and I run to hide behind the desk. I hear the sound of the couch creaking against the wood floor as it is suddenly pushed a few feet back. I hold my breath and peek around the desk. In walks Felix and a man dressed as what I am assuming a knight.
"Where is it?" Felix mutters under his breath. He lets out a yelp when he notices a pile of books, all open and laying on top of each other. When Felix's back is turned as he attempts to right his collection I make a run for the door.
I run and run until my legs ache, not even bothering to keep track of where I am going, I stop to catch my breath, doubling over in a heaving mess. After catching my breath I decide to look at my surroundings, I am caught off guard when I realize I am not surrounded by trees but in fact large mushrooms. I look up and inspect the telltale gills many mushrooms have on their underside, backing up I try to take in the scope of just how large this mushroom is.
"Oh my god," I whisper. I suddenly hear the shuffle of fabric on top of the mushroom and a person peers over the edge. The first thing I notice about this person is that they have pointed ears. I try not to stare but I'm so amazed that I forget to speak.
"Well, who might you be hm?" They lean into their palm looking at me with a sort of annoyance crossed with curiosity.
"Oh um, I-I am uh," I'm still a little shocked and the person seems to take note. They let out a sigh.
"Never seen an elf before have you?" They ask. I decide to refrain from speaking and give a slow nod, flushing with embarrassment.
"I would be surprised if you did, you don't seem to be from around here, in all honesty, you look lost and a little na茂ve," Suddenly they disappear and toss a rope ladder over the side. "Come, join me," They say. I observe the ladder with a sort of hesitance, giving it a slight tug to be sure it won't fall whilst I climb. Deeming the ladder worthy of my ascension I climb up and onto the mushroom cap. Once I am at the top the person I met is sitting, long draping clothes cover their body. Multiple glass jars of different sizes and shapes surround them. In close proximity, I realize just how tall they are, although I am now the size of a child they still appear to be at least 6 feet in height. Once I settle down next to them, they tilt a glass container in my direction.
"Uhm what is that?" I ask.
"Lotion," they say. I mumble thanks and take some in my hand. It smells of lavender.
"Thank you uh-" I hesitate.
"Saaros," they respond. "So what are you doing here? You appear to be a traveler although that get up is not very travel friendly," I look down at my apron and sweater letting out a laugh.
"Oh yea uh, no I'm just lost and looking for a way out," Saaros eyes me, a smirk forming on their lips.
"Oh? And perhaps it isn't because you are looking for love?" they question. A small undignified escapes me as I feel my face warm.
"N-no, I'm lost and I just need to find a way out, I've only met a few people here and besides it's not like I'm- I'm looking for a man named Felix. He has a red waistcoat and messy looking hair, a-and I think he does magic?" I trail off thinking about Felix. I guess he wasn't bad-looking but he mistook me for someone else and then got scared of me as well. What a strange man Felix is. Saaros leans towards me, their smirk never leaving.
"No! I am not looking for love," I avoid eye contact, hoping to see something that will drag me out of this awkward situation. Saaros lets out a hum.
"Very well then, I however must get going," they stand and start to gather the bottles surrounding them and placing the items into a bag.
"But wait, I'm still lost!" I plead. Without another look at me, Saaros begins to climb down the step ladder they tossed down earlier. I lean over the edge and watch as Saaros descends.
"Could you at least tell me how to get back to my normal size? I'm not usually this small," I call out. Saaros looks up at me, an annoyed expression plastered on their face. They sigh.
"Very well," With one arm holding themselves on the ladder they point with the other. "The right side will allow you to shrink, while the left will allow you to grow, simple enough?" They ask. I give a small nod. They then point their hand in the opposite direction from where I came.
"If you go that direction you may find Blackthorn Hall, there you may find your dear Felix," I flush at their use of "dear" but elected to ignore it.
"Thank you," a small smile forms on my lips. Saaros gives me a nod and continues down the ladder, eventually reaching the floor, and disappearing into the forest. Turning back around I look at the mushroom I am sitting upon.
"Right to shrink left to grow," I mumble to myself. I grab a tiny piece of the left side and take a bite. Suddenly I grow much larger, way too large. My legs now dangling over the side of the mushroom cap.
"Too much," I yelp. I take a bit of the right side, even smaller than the last and I shrink down once again, I look at my surroundings trying to gauge if I am at least my normal height. Deeming myself as being back to normal I ascend down the ladder as well, heading the direction Saaros pointed me to.
I follow the path Saaros gave me and once I round a bend I stumble across a creepy-looking manor. It's not that it is unkempt or dirty, it's actually rather beautiful, but something about the particular building is giving off an unsettling aura. I let out a slow long sigh and approach its doors. Once I approach the front I find I am not alone. I see a very very large woman standing in front of the door. The door opens slightly, barely giving me a view of who is on the other side. The woman and whoever is on the other side of the door exchange a few words. I can make out the woman's name is Orion, and that the letter she hands him is an invitation meant for the Duke by the Queen, to attend a dinner. The man thanks Orion and then closes the door. Her posture remains stiff and upright, almost military-like, and as she turns around she spots me.
"Oh uh, hello, is the Duke in there?" I ask. Orion's expression remains inscrutable as she looks down at me from atop the steps. She gives me a slow nod and then sits on the stairs.
"Are you waiting for him?" I question, slowly ascending towards the door.
"I am but a messenger, and the next time a letter is sent I will send it again, it's all I do," She responds.
"Oh um, ok," I respond. Ok, that was strange and kind of cryptic. "Well I'm just gonna-" I point towards the door, but Orion's eyes still look forward into the distance. I let out a small nod and walk up to the door, and then I lightly rap on it.
"He won't answer," Orion suddenly speaks up, never bothering to look at me. Just before I can respond I hear the sound of broken glass and yelling. I open the door and a glass bowl suddenly flies out and narrowly misses Orion's head, who doesn鈥檛 react.
"What the hell," I mutter. I run inside to see what the commotion is, not even bothering to second guess myself. The door closes behind me and I am suddenly shrouded in darkness.
"Hello?" I call out, my nerves slowly start to build as I attempt to see through the darkness. Walking forward I hit a wall. Running my hands on it I hear a sound to my right. I look over and once my eyes adjust to the darkness I realize I see the outline of light poking out from under a door. Feeling along the walls, I approach the door until my hand finds a doorknob. I turn it slowly, allowing the door to open, squinting my eyes as the light that comes through blinds me.
When I finally open my eyes I can see the room in front of me. A green dining room with a long table with only two people sitting in it. On the left side is a hearth, a woman with long pale blonde hair slaves over a pot mixing its contents. The two at the table however catch my eye the most. They sit across from each other on the short end of the table, whispering and glaring at the other across from them. The man on the right has long dark hair that is greying, his heavy black and green robes compliment the room perfectly, almost as though this may be his house. The woman on the left has dark leather pants and a white shirt with mesh sleeves showing off her plethora of tattoos. I can't help but think they look familiar. The food in front of them consists of soup and wine, a strange dinner choice. My attention moves back to the woman at the cooking pot. No one has seemed to have noticed me yet. Are those鈥 cat ears? On her head? My face twists with confusion. But something moving in the corner catches my eye. A man with a long purple coat and dark pants perches on a windowsill, high up. I realize he is not wearing a shirt and he too has cat ears. His ears are white to match his long braided hair, and the thing that caught my attention was his equally as whitetail. He catches sight of me and gives me a toothy smile, then winking.
"Why does that man have cat ears and a tail," I catch myself thinking out loud.
"He's an Ilpheta of course," I quickly turn my head and realize the man at the table has taken notice of me. An almost sinister smirk creeps onto his lips.
"Well, I didn't know cat boys existed," I attempt a joke, feeling awkward that I've been caught in this man's home.
"You don't seem to know very much do you?" The man says it's more of a statement than a question. Feeling insulted I clench my fists. He's technically correct, I really don't know anything about this place but I don鈥檛 need him telling me that.
"Now now Escell, no need to insult our guest," the woman says, peeking a glance at me.
"I hardly remember inviting them Scylla," He responds. Suddenly the sound of broken glass catches me off guard. The cook, who I have confirmed now definitely has a tail and ears, is throwing plate wear at the catman on the windowsill. However, he doesn鈥檛 respond when they make contact with him. He just continues to pick at something in his teeth while the woman furiously chucks items at him.
"Be careful you're going to hurt someone!" I shout. The sound of the chair creaking across wood startles me and I see the woman Scylla begins to approach me.
'Well you out to be careful lost one," she says, a flirty trill dances across her lips. Scylla stops at the end of the table and picks up a glass of wine, then holding it out to me. Her smile never leaves her lips. I begin to reach for the glass but I stop midway when the cat man speaks up.
"It's poisoned yknow," he says without looking at me.
"What?" Scylla then grabs my wrist and pulls me towards her.
"Just a sip dear, it couldn't hurt," She begins tilting the glass towards my mouth as I struggle to getaway.
"No!" I shout, suddenly a bright flash of light emits from my hand, knocking me backward and onto the floor. I slowly sit up groaning, I open my eyes and I see that Scylla is nowhere to be found, just a bottle of wine, upon further inspection I realize no one else is here. Escell, the catman, and the woman at the hearth are all gone. I slowly rise and pick up the wine bottle. Inspecting its label my breath hitches when all it reads is "Scylla".
"Oh um鈥" I mutter, I then place the wine bottle on the table and run back out of the manor.
Once my eyes adjust from the darkened halls to the bright sun outside I close the door behind me letting out a sigh. I notice Orion is no longer sitting in her spot atop the steps. I do however see the catman that was inside earlier. He flashes me another smile which takes me aback slightly.
"Um hello," I give a small wave. The catman approaches me, leaning against the wall.
"Well hello to you," I can't help but glance down at his form, his abdomen poking out from his long purple coat. My eyes snap back up to his and I don't miss the smirk he gives me.
"I'm uh, looking for a way out of here, if you know," don鈥檛 stare at his abs don鈥檛 stare at his abs don鈥檛-
"Well, I could tell you but, not for free," I wince a little.
"I don鈥檛 have a lot of money, and I don't even know your name," I explain.
"It's Sage and besides, I'm cheap," he finishes that off with a wink, causing me to flush.
"L-look I just need to be pointed in the right direction, isn't someone free to go wherever they like?" I ask, hoping he takes the bait. Sage ponders for a moment, looking to the side as his tail lashes about behind him.
"Alright," he lifts a gloved finger and points behind me. "If you go down that way you'll find the Holy Knight, she'll be able to help you out, you'll also be able to find the not-so-holy Engineer, both are beautiful in my opinion though, I won't judge you for having a hard time picking between the two," Sage's smile never falters as he speaks.
"I am not looking for love, just a way out," I speak.
"Well, you must be if you've come here,"
"I am not!" My voice pitches a little and my cheeks grow warm. Sage ponders for a second, tapping a finger on his chin.
"You agree a monster is a monster yes?"
"I suppose so," I say, confused by where he is going with this.
"Then you best avoid them, they'll only drag you down, if you can avoid love you can avoid the monsters" Sage takes a slight step back, clasping his hands together in front of him. I look at him with confusion.
"I don't think you're a monster," I say. I may have just met this strange catman, but something about him tells me I can trust him, in some way.
"You should," he says, almost inaudible for me to hear. "U-uh anyways, are you going to the dinner?" Sage asks, dodging the subject he started. I decide to drop it for now.
"Dinner?" I ask. Sage nods, I then recall the conversation Orion had earlier, the Queen is hosting a dinner. "I guess I am a little hungry,"
"You seem like the type to get around," Sage begins to walk down the steps of the manor and I rush to catch up with him.
"W-wait there's something I don't understand," I say. Sage slows down to my pace but continues to walk towards the forest I came from. "What happened to that girl that approached me? Scylla?"
"She's a spirit now," Sage says, still looking forwards.
"What? What do you mean by that?" I turn around to look at the house once more, my head filling with even more confusion.
"Sage-" I turn around to speak with him but he's gone. I turn around looking for any signs of the cat man dressed in purple, but I see nothing. Letting out a groan I turn towards the direction he pointed me to.
"I guess it's time to pay this Holy Knight a visit," I say to myself.
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rainagraya day ago
Projections - 21 April, 2021, [redacted]
鈥淲alk with me, Ceiran,鈥 the Man said. She followed, with a falter in her steps. 鈥淚 have something to show you.鈥
There was something missing.
鈥淲hat did I say about that look?鈥 He smiled. 鈥淒on鈥檛 scratch the wall.鈥
He didn鈥檛 need to tell her. The pain was teacher enough.
There were no rooms, but they entered a space with projectors, torn and old, on some small tables. Onto the walls, or the skies, or onto Ceiran鈥檚 own fingertips- movies were played. Some of rain, blurred figures, or of comforters and pillows and steam rising from hot chocolate.聽
She could feel the pain, but almost like it was outside her head. It was not the familiar striking pain that came from the center and hammered its way to the outside of her skull. She guessed it would be the only way she had enough courage to walk up to the projections. Ceiran found herself subconsciously drifting to those that hurt her more, and she began to connect the dots that they were the ones she did not remember so vividly.聽
鈥淭hese are your memories, little one,鈥 he smiled, but it was not as soft as the others.聽
鈥淣o, they鈥檙e not.鈥 Her fingers grazed the soft material the images danced on. 鈥淎t least not the ones they鈥檙e afraid of.鈥
She turned to see Nostos鈥 face, and was confused by it. He looked pained. 鈥淲here are the movies of-鈥
鈥淵ou can turn back now,鈥 he choked out, snapping Ceiran鈥檚 head up to his gaze. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 even need to make the choice.鈥 His eyes drifted to over her left shoulder, before fearfully bringing them back to her.聽
She was known for being curious. A small box sat in a dismal corner. Nostos took a step and reached for her, but let his hand curl up on itself, letting it hang in the air. She did not notice, already picking up the box beneath her two arms.
Ceiran quietly shuffled to the stands. 鈥淐ould you turn those other ones off, sir?鈥
She must鈥檝e seen him wrong, because the light bouncing off the projectors must鈥檝e shone in his eyes and made them water. He mumbled an agreeance, and a few moments later the room was almost entirely dark..聽
Carefully plucking the discs from the box, she waited patiently for them to sink into the projector and watched the screens with a small smile. She only flinched slightly when Nostos placed his hand on her shoulder, and she gave him a reassuring smile- though she did not know why he was so nervous.
Her head began to pound.
鈥淭hey could kill you, and they should.鈥澛
Rain splattered across the camera lens, but she could see her brother鈥檚 arms around her own, aiming the pistol at another figure clad in black, their name coming a moment later. She fell to the ground, clutching her temples, but even when she looked away from the film, she could see.
鈥淣ow you understand.鈥 She didn鈥檛 remember whether his hand had ever left her collarbone. He walked around her crumpled form, and tilted her chin so she could meet his eyes. 鈥淭his is what happens.鈥 He gestured to her hands, now cracked and shaking. Her lungs felt as if they had frozen over, and when she tried to let out a breath, a faint fog accompanied it. The harsh blues of the darkness blanketed her now.
鈥淚sn鈥檛 it going to hurt?鈥 She cried, and part of it was out of the fear of seeing Nostos so above her. 鈥淜nowing everything?鈥
鈥淚t might,鈥 he confessed. The furrows in his brow lightened. 鈥淏ut then again, there is some joy in it.鈥
鈥淏ut,鈥 she grieved. 鈥淭he me with these memories is鈥 different with them.鈥
He pushed her hair back from her forehead, and she feverishly patted her cheeks to find she was wet with rain.
鈥淒ifferent is not always bad, my dear.鈥澛
He tisked, and turned to his side to pull out a small ball of light, green stringings swirling inside. 鈥淭his is all the pain,鈥 he breathed. 鈥淵ou can be like how you were before you saw all these.鈥 A small weight lifted from her chest, before returning and aching against her ribs. 鈥淥r you can live with it.
鈥淵ou thought you were better without these. Do you still agree?鈥
Her tears stopped.
鈥淚,鈥 she stammered. 鈥淚 wanted to be this when I had them, and I wanted to be that when I didn鈥檛.鈥 He hummed, and she did not miss the condescension in it. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 what you鈥檙e here for, isn鈥檛 it?鈥
His breath hitched, before he smiled and nodded slightly. She outstretched her reach.
鈥淢aybe it鈥檚 time.鈥
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wintrywritinga day ago
The Fog of Aribyrne | Kang Yeosang - Part 5
Warnings: None I think?
W/C: 2761
A/N: I am sorry for not updating in a while, I鈥檝e just been meh mentally and kinda busy with exams and work at the moment.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4聽| Part 5
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Laeanne, Maiae and Yeosang stood in silence. The only sounds coming from the wind softly blowing through the trees outside as the birds happily chirped along. Laeanne sighed, deep down she did not want to help her friend with an issue this big, but she also could not leave her to fend for herself. 鈥淚 will be back in an hour, be ready by then.鈥 She said walking towards the front door. She gave Yeosang one last glance and walked out, closing the door behind her.
Maiae looked at Yeosang for a second and let out a breath she did not know she was holding. 聽Realising he was still wearing her brother鈥檚 clothes; she wordlessly left the room to retrieve his shirt. A look of worry spread across Yeosang鈥檚 face. He still did not know who the elder was and looking at the reactions the two women gave him, he knew he did not want to meet this person. His feet felt heavy as he moved to sit down on the couch again. Clueless and fear were the two most prominent emotions cursing through his veins right now. He put his head in his hands as he tried to calm himself down. He could sense Maiae walking back into the room. 鈥淢aiae, am I going to be okay?鈥 She could hear the tremble in his voice. She put his folded shirt on the table and sat down next to him. 鈥淵eosang,鈥 she started, 鈥淵ou be okay, I make sure.鈥 Her hands started rubbing his back in a comforting way, making him look up to her slightly smiling face. Gathering whatever bit of confidence and courage he had left in him; he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her towards him into a hug. 聽
Maiae was shocked to say the least, however, after a few seconds she wrapped her arms around him as well. 鈥淚s okay Yeosang鈥. He felt guilty for not trusting her; she had saved his life, took him in and everything. Despite only a short period of time having passed, he felt that he could trust her. They stayed seated on the couch, wrapped up in each other鈥檚 arms for what felt like forever. 鈥淭hank you, for everything.鈥 Yeosang broke the silence, making Maiae pull back instantly. 鈥淭hank you? You know more of my language, how?鈥 He wished he could answer her question, but he had no idea himself. 鈥淚- I do not know, is this normal?鈥 He returned the question, as Yeosang was just as confused as she was. 鈥淚 not know as well, why we need to go see the elder.鈥 She answered him. Maiae reached over to the table and gave the man in front of her his now fixed shirt. 鈥淵ou get ready.鈥 She said with a smile which was supposed to be reassuring, before getting up and walking to her bedroom to get ready herself.
Yeosang gazed at the floor for a minute before getting up to get dressed to meet the elder. He stood up with the shirt in his hand and walked towards 鈥榟is鈥 room. As he entered the room, he felt something he did not feel last night, possibly due to his exhaustion. He felt as if he was breaking someone鈥檚 privacy. Maiae did mention that the shirt he was wearing was her brother鈥檚, making his assume that this was his room. He did not linger too long on the feeling and took his shirt off, wanting to properly examine the gash he had gotten yesterday. Yeosang expected to see a light scar, considering how quickly Maiae鈥檚 medicine had already healed him in such a short amount of time. Instead, he was surprised by intricate swirls similar to Maiae鈥檚 and Laeanne鈥檚 covering his torso, making him gasp in surprise. 鈥淲hat?鈥 he breathlessly said to no one in particular. He simply sat on the bed; his mind unable to process what was happening to him. First, he suddenly understood and spoke a bit of the strange language and now he was taking on characteristics of them as well. Was he getting possessed by some weird demon from this realm? Did this happen to everyone who somehow ended up here? His mind went into overdrive from all the questions bouncing through his mind. Maybe he would be able to fit in eventually? If he somehow managed to go back to Ophyrion, would they judge him; put him up for display in a museum? Would he go back to normal if he ever ended up back home?
A knock on the door snapped him out of it. 鈥淵eosang? You okay?鈥 he heard Maiae鈥檚 soft voice through the door. He quickly put on his previously ripped shirt. Maiae had done an amazing job fixing it. Yeosang was glad that his flowy shirt had long sleeves, because if these swirls already appeared on his torso, who knows where they would appear next. 鈥淯hm yeah, I will be out in a second.鈥 He replied in a rushed voice. He heard her footsteps retreat to what he assumed would be the living room, presumably to wait for him to finish getting changed.
He quickly finished changing, before he would get lost in his thoughts again, and walked back into the living room to see Maiae sitting on the couch with another cup of tea in her hand. The plate of food she had set on the table for him still present. She turned to him with a smile as he entered the room. 鈥淧lease, you not eaten yet.鈥 She said and pointed her hand to the plate. He looked at her for a second. She opted on wearing a white flowy dress, almost matching with his shirt, her arms and legs covered in the odd swirls he discovered on himself mere minutes earlier. He once again wondered if he would get them on his arms and legs as well. 鈥淭hank you.鈥 He said once more, without shocking Maiae this time. He sat down next to her and grabbed the plate from the table, looking at the food. It looked good, he was not going to deny that, and last night鈥檚 meal was really good as well. He just did not know if he was hungry or not. However, the rumbling of his stomach quickly answering that question for him.
He opted to at least take a few bites to soothe his stomach. 鈥淢aiae,鈥 Yeosang started and turned to face her, 鈥渨ho is the elder?鈥 Maiae finished her sip of tea before she sighed, bringing the cup of tea down to lean on her knees. 鈥淗e is person I not like, he not like me either. You could say he the boss here.鈥 She nervously bounced her knee, having a guy feeling of the question Yeosang was about to ask next. 鈥淲hy does he not like you?鈥 The question she had been dreading since answering his last one made the room feel heavy. The feeling not escaping Yeosang either, making him quickly add a 鈥測ou do not have to answer if you do not want鈥. She contemplated it for a second, wanting to keep it to herself, yet also realising that when she and the elder will meet again today. The thoughts running through her mind now wondered how she could best convey this to him. 鈥淗e-, I-, we鈥 Well, I do many good things, but that means I break rules. Like when I save you. In Aribyrne, we not supposed to break rules.鈥 Yeosang nodded along, slowly getting a vision of why Maiae did not like the elder. His eyes went wide in shock, however, when she said she technically was not allowed to save him. If she had followed the rules, he would have drowned that day. 鈥淎nyway, you eat some more.鈥 She said and pointed at his food. 鈥淚 would love to, it is great, but I am too nervous to eat.鈥 Maiae merely hummed in understanding.
A knock on the door broke the silence. They both knew it was Laeanne and that it was time for them to go see the elder. Maiae got up from the couch and opened the door for her friend. 鈥淎re you ready?鈥 Laeanne asked. 鈥淎s ready as I will ever be. Let me grab a cloak for him so he will not get noticed as easily as without.鈥 Maiae walked to the little cabinet of to the left side of the room, opening it and grabbing a cloak for Yeosang. He and Laeanne just looked at each other in awkward silence, waiting for their mutual friend to come back. 鈥淗ere, wear this.鈥 Maiae said and handed the man a cloak so he could hide himself among the locals of this realm. Laeanne simply looked at him with doubt in her eyes. She obviously wanted Maiae to be safe and happy, which meant she also had to keep Yeosang safe. However, that also meant she would have to break some of Aribyrne鈥檚 rules, which made her feel highly uncomfortable. 鈥淩eady?鈥 she asked both Yeosang and Maiae as the man finished putting the cloak on, with some help from her friend. Yeosang merely sighed and nodded, as did Maiae. The movements of the two almost identical.
It would be a ten-minute walk to the elder, a walk all of them dreaded to make during the day. The two inhabitants of Aribyrne were hopeful that the elder would not be too busy to see them today. Even though Maiae and Yeosang would both love to postpone it, they also knew it was inevitable and it would be better to get it over withs sooner than later. Laeanne opened the door and walked out, Yeosang following behind him, followed by Maiae, who closed the door behind her. After walking out of her little front yard, Maiae and Laeanne locked Yeosang in the middle of them, to make sure nobody would be able to grab him. Yeosang finally got a good look of the village, which was hard when Maiae smuggled him in the day before, considering it was night. There were so much more trees, shrubs, and flowers than he could have ever imagined. It seems that he arrived in Spring, most of the trees are green, some even yellow and pink with all the flowers growing on them. They were a stark contrast to the purple sky. This realm had s even more differences compared to Ophyrion than Yeosang ever could have imagined. 鈥淭ell him to keep his head down.鈥 Laeanne told Maiae. 鈥淲e do not need to get caught because he is not used to being here.鈥 Yeosang somehow managed to understand a few more words, although he was less surprised by now. He was still looking around, the buildings around them giving him an ancient feeling, sort of like all the historic places he visited while traveling the seas in Ophyrion. 鈥淧lease, head down.鈥 Maiae whispered to him. Yeosang wanted to protest, but he knew she had the best intentions possible for him, thus he complied. Maiae desperately wanted to talk to him to comfort him, but if she did, they would hear Yeosang was not from their realm. She simply continued to look around nervously. 鈥淪ince when does it feel as if he lives so much further away?鈥 Maiae asked Laeanne. 鈥淏ecause usually it is just you, you usually are not trying to smuggle someone from another realm to him.鈥 Her friend whispered back with a hint of passive aggression.
After a few more minutes of silence, his curiosity got the best of him and he gazed around again. Not a minute later the three of them heard a gasp coming from a man near them. 鈥淵eosang!鈥 Maiae and Laeanne both whisper yelled. 鈥淚s that鈥?鈥 the man said. 鈥淚t is nothing, you did not see anything.鈥 Maiae quickly said. 鈥淢aiae鈥︹ the man said. 鈥淲hy does everyone in this village know me? Can I not just live my life in peace?鈥 She said with a bit of an attitude, making the man roll his eyes. 鈥淵ou know what, I am not even going to bother. We will probably hear it from the elder soon.鈥 The man countered and continued on with his day. 鈥淕uess I am not the only one who is done with your stunts. You really are outdoing your reputation in Maelynne, huh?鈥 Laeanne joked, making her friend scoff. 鈥淗e is probably going to tell it to people around town and soon another crowd will have gathered either with the elder or at your house, possibly both.鈥 Maiae sighed. Yeosang turned to her, feeling some sort of shame or sadness radiating off of her. 鈥淎re you okay?鈥 the quartermaster asked as he grabbed her hand and gave a quick squeeze to comfort her. She replied with an uneasy 鈥測eah鈥 before falling silent again. It felt odd to him, she usually tried to speak more with him than just a single word. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand before letting it go again, hoping to have given her some form of comfort. He felt as if that were the least he could do for all the things she had done for him so far.
As the three continued their path, Yeosang tried to analyse what he understood of the conversation Maiae and Laeanne had with the random man. He could grasp the understanding of three to four words, excluding the elder, despite this it did not make much more sense to him. Ever since the man talked to them, he has not dared to look up again in case of getting caught. He obviously felt lucky that the man did not cause a scene, but he did not want to risk it with any other person. He could still hear some whispers left and right. 鈥淲hat is Maiae doing this time?鈥 鈥淗as she summoned a monster?鈥 鈥淲hy is Laeanne helping her?鈥 However, he did not understand all of it, but it was enough to make him realise Laeanne had a pretty good reputation around the village, whereas Maiae did not. He felt bad for her, even though he had not known him for a long time, she had nothing but good intentions. It was hard to believe that she would get judged for that, the words must have a bigger effect on her than she is showing.
Maiae and Laeanne suddenly stopped, making Yeosang bump into one of their shoulders as he was walking one step behind them for a while now. 鈥淲e are here.鈥 Laeanne said. 鈥淭his it.鈥 Maiae said so Yeosang surely understood. The building itself did not look very different from the other houses he saw along the road; the entrance might have been slightly higher, but not more than a meter. The bricks somehow gave off a beige-reddish glow, or so it appeared. The intricate blue and green swirls on the beams supporting the roof reminding him of the swirls on the bodies of the inhabitants of Aribyrne. The brown, wooden doors seemed to be extremely heavy to open, you would probably need two or three strong people in Ophyrion to open them. Yeosang felt nervous, as if he could throw up any moment now. Laeanne and Maiae started to walk up the stairs to the doors, both having a hand on each of Yeosang鈥檚 shoulders to guide him with them. He heard Maiae sigh again before knocking on the door, making both Yeosang and Laeanne tense up. It would be the first time meeting the elder for the both of them. 鈥淐ome in鈥︹ A voice, not as deep as Yeosang expected, could be heard from behind the door. He was expecting an almost demonic voice, considering this person was to uphold the rules of the village, if not the realm. The power this person held would be enormous, Yeosang鈥檚 mind slowly going back to the way it was before he ended up in Aribyrne. Fearing that this person would end him, he considered running off, even though he would not know where to go. As Maiae and Laeanne guided him further inside, he gave one last glance to the outside as the doors were closing. If he were to run, this would be his chance. When he looked behind him, he saw his chances were gone regardless, as a small group of people had gathered, mumbling to themselves about what was going on at the residence of the elder. He saw his last chance of escaping diminish as the doors closed, he now had to face; the elder.
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jilliangclara day ago
reflection of where i am in life :0
I have always placed my faith in the thought that I am where I need to be in this moment, and that things will work out for me in the end despite how hard it gets now. However, to be very blunt, I feel so lost, confused, and anxious about where I am and how I鈥檓 currently dealing with what鈥檚 being thrown at me.
Throughout each quarter, I鈥檝e built myself to become someone who gets everything done all at once and doesn鈥檛 hesitate when it comes to approaching my work. I was very sure of myself and who I am, with my working habits and routines, but now it just seems like my mental state is slowing down and not wanting to keep up anymore. I鈥檝e been getting more anxious, and I wake up shaky and fearful, but I have been trying to combat this by continuing the routines I鈥檝e established and forcing myself to eat when I know I need to whether or not I鈥檓 hungry. It feels like doing these things are helping me push through, but it honestly doesn鈥檛 feel like enough. I聽 feel like I鈥檓 floating and existing in other areas of my life.
I know that eventually I鈥檒l be alright and that I will find my way, but right now, being completely honest with you and myself, I鈥檓 very scared and unsure about where I am. Have you ever had that experience as a child where you were lost in a big place, couldn鈥檛 find your parents, and just started balling in a crowd of strangers? That鈥檚 exactly how I feel at this very moment.
Despite how I鈥檓 feeling right now, I know that it will all get better in the end and that I need to push through this moment of weakness. I once heard that these kinds of moments are times when a part of you that is no longer serving you dies, and that鈥檚 why it feels extremely painful in the moment. All you can do is let yourself feel everything and go through the motions. Right now, I鈥檓 imagining myself as the caterpillar in the cocoon before turning into a beautiful butterfly, and as I鈥檓 writing this, I鈥檓 realizing it鈥檚 okay to be lost right now because I鈥檒l come out more beautiful and stronger than I鈥檝e ever been before. I鈥檓 exactly where I need to be right now, and even though I feel lost, it鈥檒l be okay.
On a lighter note, I bought myself flowers as a form of self-care while getting groceries. It was just a little thing to brighten up my normal day, but it makes me really happy seeing these flowers sitting on my desk. :)
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gothic-aesthetic-gala day ago
馃饾敆饾敟饾敘 饾攽饾敠饾敜饾敟饾敱饾敓饾敠饾敮饾敗 饾敒饾敨饾敗 饾敱饾敟饾敘 饾攺饾敠饾敱饾敱饾敥饾敘 饾攨饾敒饾敱 馃
Tanz der Vampire Krolockxreader
Warnings: Some mild violence and gore (in keeping with the level you might read in classic gothic literature)
Chapter 6 - Fledermaus
You were at first reluctant to take the hand extended to you, the colour of ivory, with long fingers and sharp nails.
"I will not hurt you," he said with a look of profound regret about his white face.
"You, you... what are you?" You stammered in utter confusion.
"It is complicated"
"How can you expect me to trust you after... what happened in the ballroom? You had me under... some kind of spell..."
"We must not stay out here. Come with me," he said with an intensity that surprised you.
"No. No! You, what are you?"
He seemed to wince as you tried to back away from him only to realise your foot was still wedged fast.
"Please, don't fear me (y/n)."
There was something desperate in his voice that caught you off guard. You stopped struggling and reluctantly allowed him to snap the tree root and release you. His strength was unnatural and entirely at odds with his tall, slender frame and it unnerved you.
"Let me take you back to the castle. It is not safe out here."
"Don't give me the illusion of choice when I know you can compel me to do as you please," You spat with vitriol.
He looked genuinely hurt by your response and let his hand drop.
"I want to give you answers, I really do. But I cannot. Not yet. Please, just trust me. I will not lay a hand on you, nor compel you to do anything which you do not chose to do. If you are still eager to leave in the morning, I cannot stop you". He said, turning away.
You hesitated for a moment weighing your options. He had just saved you from a grizzly death and you no longer fancied your chances with the nightime forest and its hidden evils. You would leave in the morning at first light.
Resolved, you clambered to your feet and brushed off the snow, shivering violently.
"Fine. I will go with you." You muttered through chattering teeth.
He turned back toward you and raised an arm, opening up his cloak, which you reluctantly stepped into. He looked at you for a moment before saying:
"I will carry you there on the wings of the night, hold on to me tightly"
No sooner had you done as requested before, in a sudden flapping of what sounded like thousands of wings, you were once again stood in the entrance hall of the castle. A scattering of bats seemed to erupt around you for a moment and then merge into the shadowy form of the count.
You couldn't help but stare at the sight.
"I know its monstrous..."
"No, actually. I was thinking how wonderful it must be to fly. I dream of it so often - in the dreams i'm free, untouchable even. I have always envied the bats of the forest".
He seemed surprised by your interjection.
"You are quite strange" he said with a slight upturn at the corner of his mouth - the closest to a smile you had seen on his otherwise somber face.
You laughed a little in disbelief at the irony of his words. Whether it was rational or not, you were no longer afraid.
He stepped forward to take your luggage and gestured to the grand stair case. Leading you up the stairs you followed as his velvet cape trailed over the steps before you. Once you reached the familiar door of your room, he held it open for you. Having to pass by him so closely made you a little nervous again, but you tried not to let it show. Once inside he placed the suitcase back on top of the chest you'd had to leave behind, the one which contained your pristine white dress for the wedding, and various items intended to sweeten the deal - your dowry. The count seemed to notice your pained expression as you continued to stare at the chest.
You began to think twice about leaving at dawn. What lay beyond the castle walls was misery, you would have to evade not just the beasts of the forest but also your step mother and would-be husband. Your thoughts returned to the moment you had stared death in the face, the wolf man's foul breath and - oh! - the terrible yellow teeth, as long as your fingers. The count had saved you, had he not? You shuddered at the image of the beast, and though he was dead he would forever stalk your thoughts.
"You are still afraid, I will leave you now. If you set out at day break then I will bid you farewell, for I cannot be near you once the sun rises," he said with with a mournful expression and turned to leave.
"Wait, please. It's not you that inspires fear in me now. Please, do not leave me alone. Not yet. I am indeed afraid, but not of you."
He hesitated for a moment, unsure.
"Please, sit by me for a while for I know I cannot sleep yet." You pleaded.
Reluctantly, he came to sit in the chair beside the bed.
"Lay your head down my sweet, your are safe here from hell hounds. I will stay with you a while"
His voice had once again taken on that soft, soothing tone which instantly began to set your racing heart at ease as you laid down beneath the covers and turned to face him.
Then suddenly there was another great howl from the valley below and you sat bolt upright.
"Do not be afraid my dear, they cannot enter the castle, you are safe" he said gently placing a hand upon your shoulder.
You trusted his words but it didn't help your panicked state of mind and you met his gaze with eyes wide as saucers.
"Please, will you hold me, I am tembling at the thought of what grisly fate nearly befell me?"
He paused for a moment.
"Please," you said as tears began to well up in your eyes.
He stood to remove his cloak and coat before sliding into the bed beside you. Once he was close you clung to him as you trembled and screwed yours eyes shut tight. You no longer cared about what he was, so long as he was not one of them.
"What are they?"
"They are called many names, one is Bisclavret, another garwaf. They are cursed to roam the forest in that state, the full moon is their mistress and under her they transform into beasts governed only by an insatiable hunger."
"I'm glad you aren't one of them".
"We are not so different" he muttered darkly.
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tearblossoma day ago
The Path To Paradise Begins In Hell
*This is basically the famed Italian poet from 1265, Dante Alighieri, meets my female V and Goro鈥檚 love. I retell the Orbital Station scene using gifs and a mix of quotes from Dante鈥檚 Divine Trilogy: Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso along with a variety of his other poems. Some of his poetry is quite beautiful and certain passages reminded me strongly of V and Goro and their final moments together.
鈥淢idway upon the journey of my life I found myself within a dark forest, for the straightforward pathway had been lost.鈥
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鈥淎h me! How hard a thing it is to say what was this forest savage, rough, and stern, which in the very thought renews the fear! So bitter is it, death is little more.鈥
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He woke her then, and trembling and obedient, she ate that burning heart out of his hand.
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鈥淟ove, which pardons no beloved from loving, took me so strongly with delight in him that, as you see, it still abandons me not.鈥
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鈥淲eeping, I saw him then depart from me.鈥
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Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for her?聽
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Find nourishment in the very sight of her?
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I think so.
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But would she see through the bars of his plight, and ache for him?
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The day that man allows true love to appear, those things which are well made will fall into confusion and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true.
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鈥淎lready my desire and my will were being turned like a wheel, all at one speed, by the Love which moves the sun and the other stars.鈥
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鈥淔or she doth make my veins and pulses tremble.鈥
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鈥淎 grief so deep the tongue must wag in vain;
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the language of our sense and memory lacks the vocabulary of such pain.鈥
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鈥淚 have come to lead you to the other shore;
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into eternal darkness; into fire and into ice.鈥
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鈥淩emember tonight...for it is the beginning of always.鈥
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鈥淭here is a gentle thought that often springs to Life in me, because it speaks of you.鈥
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鈥淭hrough me is the way to the city of woe,
Through me is the way to eternal pain,
Through me is the way to a lost people.
Justice moved my great Creator,
Divine Power made me,
the Supreme Wisdom and the Primal Love.鈥
鈥淚n that book which is my memory,聽
On the first page of the chapter that is the day when I first met you,
Appear the words, 鈥楬ere begins a new life鈥.鈥
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Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
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鈥淒o not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift.鈥
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鈥淏ut the stars that marked our starting fall away. We must go deeper into greater pain, for it is not permitted that we stay.鈥
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鈥淚 did not die, and yet I lost life鈥檚 breath.鈥
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V & Goro
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meshlasolusa day ago
Intelligent Insanity
Jerome Valeksa x Reader
Okay so usually I rotate the chapters I write and post everyday between this series and the bruce one, but I have a request to fill, so after tomorrow I will actually be writing the request instead of another chapter for this... but then I'll be right back to it the next day don't worry.
Series Summary: Two lives can start very differently, but it's never the beginning that makes the story. It's the the journey the lives take that eventually bring them down the same path.
Chapter Warnings: mentions of murder, fluff
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I'd heard a buzz of rumors lately from around the hallways, and inside the cafeteria during lunch and dinner time. I didn't anymore attend breakfast, because I would much rather sleep more. I have a tendency to stay up into the night, trying to practice talking so that others can hear me, but alas, no one usually does when I try it out in the light of day. Yesterday's lunch was when I heard about getting a new inmate. I didn't catch the name, or the crime, but I did recall hearing about the time of arrival, which was today.
I was sat in the common room, my hands spelling about a hundred different words every few minutes. I watched through the wire fencing along the wall of the room, seeing them bring in a boy. He was innocent looking, and about my age, too. Maybe he was like me.
I waited for them to bring him in here, which took several minutes given the time they probably made him change into one of these awful uniform jumpsuits. When I heard them unlock the gate, my gaze snapped from the floor to where he was standing. He'd locked eyes with me for a split second, then journeyed further into the room.
"Fresh meat." One of the inmates said... the rich one, I think. He wasn't all that threatening, but still gave me the creeps.
The boy stopped in his tracks when he reached the tables everyone was sitting at. He crossed his arms and shook his head, confidently turning and strolling towards my table with a look of determination.
"I think I'll sit here." He said, pulling out the chair right across from me and sitting down. He leaned both elbows onto the table and rested his head on his hands.
I smiled genuinely at him. At first glance, he was attractive, with thick red hair and blue grey eyes. He had several freckles marking his pale skin, and it gave him a charming and boyish look.
"So... what do they call you, pretty girl?" He smirked slightly, but the tilt in his head made his question seem sweet and innocent.
I opened my mouth to speak but then an inmate from across the room piped up to the kid across from me.
"Hey genius, just a heads up, fidget doesn't speak." He got the red headed boy's attention and nodded to me when he said the word fidget, then he dropped his head back to whatever strange game he was playing with the other men at his table.
The boy turned back to me and I feared that with him having known, he would leave and walk away like everyone else did. He furrowed his brow and let his lips draw into a thin line. He leaned closer and squinted at me before sitting back in his seat.
"Well, I suppose I'll have to introduce myself first then, won't I?" He paused, shrugging his shoulders like a child would do. "I'm Jerome."
He held his hand out to shake, and with a smile, I took it, opening my mouth to speak again.
"I'm Y/n." I said with a low scratchy voice.
He furrowed his brows yet again, and leaned in close like he did before. I was confused until I heard his reply.
"I thought they said you couldn't talk?"
In that moment my eyes went wide and I'd not been able to stop a wide smile from appearing on my face.
"You-" I chuckled a little having made the realization. "You can hear me?"
"I can, yeah. I wonder why they can't..." he pulled his hand back from mine and let it rest by his side while he scanned the room, glancing over at the other crazies.
"Maybe we're not as crazy as they are." I suggested, but he looked back and shook his head.
"Wouldn't be too sure about that..." he said as if he believed himself to be like the others. Surely someone so gentle and innocent couldn't be like them. He seemed like an angel.
"What are you in for?" I asked with a slight rift in my tone. My voice did feel kind of strange, like I hadn't used it in forever, though I did, everyday.
"Chopped my mom up with an axe." He said without even a second thought. I was a little surprised by his confession, though I hadn't heard the whole story yet...
"Did she... hurt you?" They weren't the exact words I was thinking of, but they would suffice.
"Just about a billion times... but who's counting?" He joked, revealing a light hearted and startling laugh. It was fantastic, and I wanted to hear it again. One time hearing it and I was already addicted.
"So it wasn't really murder, then? It was self defense." I tried to offer a better seeming impression of his outcome.
"No, it was murder..." he said, leaning back on the table and looking up at me while he rested his head on his hands which were flat against the cold metal surface. "You know, you don't seem crazy..."
"Maybe not actually crazy, but in the eyes of the law, pushing my uncle off a thirteen story building wasn't exactly an act of sanity." I said, leaning forward to meet his eyeline as he smiled in repsonse to my words.
"What'd he do?" He wanted to know all the dirty details, thinking it was of malicious intent.
"He tried to get into my pants... several times. He came at me on the roof one day so I pushed him." I said flatly, as if it wasn't one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. To be quite honest, speaking about it now was not as bad as I thought it might be.
"Oh..." He did his gentle head tilt again, and seemed to have let the mood be dampened, even though just a minute ago he was talking about how his mother was chopped to bits by his hands and an axe.
"Yeah... after that everyone seemed to not be able to hear me. Maybe I'm crazy after all, because I've been talking all this time." I said, shruggung my shoulder and leaning back to my chair.
Jerome puzzled for a minute, using his brain to put some pieces together. He might be out of his right mind, but his intelligence was sharp as a knife.
"Why do they call you fidget?"
I heaved a sigh and held up my hand other hand, which had been under the table till now, demonstrating why that very fact was.
"I fingerspell all my words as I say them. I'm not sure why, but I suppose that's what got me my nickname." I set my crazy right hand back at my side, and looked back to see the boy was slightly amazed.
"Interesting." He held a look of bewilderment upon himself as he sat quietly for a few moments. I wondered what he was thinking, for the gears in his head were so obviously turning. He looked me up and down one more time before speaking again. "Alright, I've decided."
"Decided what?" I curiously raised my brows and waited for an answer.
"You don't look like you've got any friends in this joint, and seeing as though I just got here, I don't either." He explained bluntly, using theatrical facial expressions and hand gestures. "So I decided, we'll stick to each other while we do our time."
I lit up with a bright smile, nodding my head along in agreement of his decision.
"Seems logical."
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puregonzoadrenalinea day ago
No Progress. Whatsoever.
Well, I did it. No sex. Not once in two years. It is terrible. I hate it. I am absolutely confused as to dating and et cetera wink wink from now on. I have a boisterous son who is about to turn four years old, and Dad is going to college. My body hasn't released actual endorphins in a long time. Dad needs some time to grow intellectually. I don't know what to tell my son. I don't wish harm or ill will on his mother, but she makes the same wage, $12.50 an hour at a job she had for over 8 years, at the exact same liquor store she worked at when we met, and has no intentions towards getting a driver's license of her own, going back to school or ever doing anything other than fucking a guy named Todd and being just boyfriend/girlfriend snots. Meanwhile the liquor store pays some of her bills. I've always wondered and should have known why they call the place "Jon's Liquor." Never fall for a hooch peddler, even if she is nice. Lesson learned. Kid acquired. I love my son. He is the funniest, happiest and most exuberant little boy I have ever known. Watching him grow is truly a miracle. Despite his mother and I's inability to be a family unit, he is gaining knowledge quickly. He's really not afraid, which has helped me greatly. I look in his eyes and see so many things that I want to do for him. But, I have to pause. Usually, when I do that, the universe corrects itself and my son and I laugh at the quietude of the moment. I am not going to lie to you, I am not banking on wishes, or waiting around and "hoping." I am scared to death that everyday I wake up is the last day I will be allowed to see my son. His mother has done nothing but use the her first child that was taken away from her as weaponized power move to execute a series of what I can only describe as "learned behaviors" that will always end in some form of domestic violence. Again, the grandmother of her ex-boy friend looked me in the eyes when we met one day at a local pizzeria, specifically to talk about how this woman is a serial domestic violence instigator and said "sometimes she just doesn't know when to shut up." Her words, not mine. Seriously. I wish I was making this shit up. I am not proud of what I did, I don't condone it, and I have never had a relationship that was actually violent. Tumultuous? Yes. Violent? No. I love my son. My biggest fear is his mother is repeating the cycle of domestic terrorism on Todd, whom I really actually feel sorry for. I mean, I was dumb enough to put up with her abusive behavior, vulgarity, insincerity, and precise manipulative planning for almost five years. Todd, you poor soul. I will pray for you. Also, I am still going to tell my son to say "Todd's gay," because it's funny hearing my son say that about you and knowing that he'll say it every time he hears your name. That's me taking my power back.
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