#and I know for a fact he’s gonna bring up summer of 2016

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Tylo save me...Tylo...save me Tylo...

WHATEVEER leave me alone more ship alphabet garbage 😭😭😭 I'm gonna sleep I got work tomorrow 🫠🫠🫠

Logan Fields

A = Affectionate

A bit reserved. He's never had anybody to be affectionate with besides his grandparents so he doesn't really know where to draw the line. Also, you know. Hes gay in Georgia in 2016, he needs to be careful. A lot more comfortable with verbal affection tho!

B = Best Friend

Logans never had friends so like. If he did have a best friend he would be really loyal to like a concerning degree, probably protective too, but also extremely helpful and encouraging, always trying to teach you new things :D

C = Cuddles

A littleeeee touch starved :< So he does like cuddling with Tyler, especially since they don't get the chance to do it a lot (only at Tyler's house). He's super melty because he has to take off his glasses for it and he gets sleepy quickly. Will probably fall asleep during it...^_^

D = Domestic

He's a little romantic in the sense that he wants to get married and settle down, have a kid, and 3 cats. He's not in a rush or anything but it is something he looks forward to with Ty. He's good at household chores, especially cleaning and taking care of the garden, and he's a pretty good cook. His specialty is still baking tho.

E = Ending

If his relationship with Tyler spiralled (which has a decent chance of happening) :> If the resentment he had with Tyler boiled over and all the bitterness came out, yeah, he'd probably end things, probably in a yelling match. It's hard to see them breaking up amicably ahaha :")

F = Fiancé

He spent a lot of his childhood/early teens thinking he'd never be able to get married, so...it's a big deal for him. Cried when Tyler said yes (and while proposing)

G = Gentle

Generally he's pretty soft spoken. He's not a super physically aggressive person...but he has his moments 🫠 But usually he's pretty light with Tyler, specially since he has like...chronic pain...🤡 Also good at saying super mushy stuff that makes Tyler implode

H = Hugs

A bit awkward about it, but he likes hugging. Always a little hesitant, so waits till Tyler hugs him first, but he's a v good hugger :) very cozy aura. He's a short king so he can snuggle into Ty's chest.

I = I love you

Was so nervous he almost threw up- Got really emotional and cried- he didn't plan it so the whole thing was a mess lmao

J = Jealousy

Tends to manifest as insecurity more than sheer jealousy. Sometimes thinks Tyler will leave him for somebody "better" (him and Tyler are actually pretty similar in that regard) and he might honestly just bring up how he thinks Tyler can do better depending how far they are in the relationship.

K = Kisses

A bit shy. Gets flustered by proper kissing so he's more of a pecker, usually kisses Tyler's cheek or chin because it's hard to reach him with their height gap- he gets all gooey when Tyler asks him to kiss him on the mouth tho (^_^)//

L = Little Ones

He likes children! He finds them more honest than people his age kkkkk. He also likes how children are constantly learning new things and likes teaching them about interesting facts :D gets a bit overwhelmed by hyperactive children though, better with children who have quieter characters like himself.

M = Mornings

Eepy lil guy. So seepy. Big tirremd. Barely coherent in the morning, also he's not wearing his glasses or contacts so he can't even see help him. He needs a shower and like four cups of coffee to even wake up lmao. Tyler be literally dragging him out of bed because otherwise they're GONNA BE LATE-

N = Night

Total night owl, loves staying up late (especially in the summer) to use his telescope. Tyler has to drag him INTO bed otherwise he's gonna stay up till 4am or fall asleep on the balcony :>

O = Open

Honestly pretty closed off, he doesn't like talking about his past unless it's really necessary. Gets anxious if Tyler asks personal questions early in the relationship.

P = Patience

Patience is a virtue he's worked hard to cultivate. He does kind of bottle of his negative emotions so when he *does* lose his patience it tends to be explosive.

Q = Quizzes

Good memory and very detail-oriented, so he knows a lot about Tyler, and he's also good at applying that knowledge. He's better at reading him than most people.

R = Remember

His favourite moments are whenever Tyler is just unapologetically sweet and sappy with him. Makes him forget how mean he used to be :>

S = Security

Way more chill than Tyler, he trusts him to take care of himself, but sometimes he thinks about Tyler stuck on the tree...bleeding out...his organs torn to shreds... and he worries about him 🫠

T = Try

Of course he tries. He's trying so hard. To be brave. To love him unconditionally. To forgive him. He just needs time...hopefully.

U = Ugly Habit

Kind of a grudge holder and he's one of those people who will be kinda salty after you apologize for smth even tho he accepted the apology. Passive aggressive ngl. Tyler is always "..." whenever Logan is annoyed with him even tho he prolly deserves it 🤡

V = Vanity

He doesn't *not* care about his appearance but he doesn't care a loooot. Was raised to be well-groomed so he is very clean and proper but fashion-wise he's kinda...y'all know 😔 (he can look like a nerd and still be fashionable BUT he isn't just look at him 😭)

W = Whole

They got that trauma bond so no, not really, he wouldn't feel "whole" without Tyler. But I think he would be able to move on at some point.

X = Xtra

Very serious about learning Spanish! Tyler's kinda "...bro I don't even know it that well" about it but Logan wants to make an effort. He's really smart including in languages so eventually he starts speaking more proper Spanish than Tyler (but with a horrible accent) which Ty's just dead over. He can have a full on convo with Marianna and everything.

Y = Yuck

HATEEEES how protective Tyler is. Like he understands where he's coming from but OMFG he feels SO infantilized by it sometimes. And also Tyler is constantly trying to help him and Logan just feels like Ty doesn't trust him to do things by himself. He hates people who let their anger control them too, if Tyler is mad he will just walk away from the argument and hang out in his room.

Z = ZZZ

Looks like an absolute angel while sleeping, it's ridiculous. He just looks so goddamn peaceful and serene, Tyler is just "?!!?!?" and wants to combust 🫠

Tyler Hernández

A = Affection

His way of showing affection is like. Annoying. He's that kind of guy who shows his care by teasing the crap out of you 🤡👌🏽 Logan was kinda intimidated at first but now he's like. So over him because he knows his bf is dumb. He understands the chalequeo.

B = Best Friend

He your RIDE OR DIE FR. Omg...THAT WASNT ON PURPOSE, I just meant that he's really loyal even though he's kind of a "tough love" kind of guy 😭 would tell you if your bf sucked ngl

C = Cuddles

Secretly wants to hug Logan all the time. Logan is very soft and he just kinda...melts when they cuddle. Like its a guaranteed way to relax him, and lord knows he needs to relax.

D = Domestic

King of household chores. Compulsive cleaner. Cooks AND does the laundry. He cannot sit still for five seconds help him 🤡 It would take him a LONG time to be comfy not living with his mom or sister (I think Taylor would move out first) so there might be like. A small period where he and Logan live with Marianna.

E = Ending

He's kinda...reluctant to ever break up with anybody, especially Logan. If he did it'd be like, more on accident after losing his temper, like Logan saying maybe he should leave and Tyler saying he will or whatever. He'd regret it ofc 🤡

F = Fiancé

Oh, he was really surprised when Logan asked him. And happy :). He had gen never thought about it cuz he was so stressed lmao but he was real excited and also lowkey terrified 🫠

G = Gentle

Verbally he's pretty harsh, that's just how he is. But physically, besides the occasional arm/shoulder tug, he's very careful with his loved ones <3 sometimes when he's sad he holds Logans cheeks or rests his head on his lap.

H = Hugs

Ohhhh he loves hugging. If he could, he'd be hugging Logan constantly 😭 his hugs are REALLY long and he kinda does that like. Swaying motion. Also lifts Logan off his feet. Literally shoves his face into his shoulder.

I = I love you

He needs to be really sure of his feelings to say it, and even then he usually says it very quietly or when he thinks Logan won't notice. For some reason has an easier time saying it in Spanish (he just like me fr)

J = Jealousy

Yeaaaaahhhh...worse than Logan. Hate watches people who be getting touchy with Logan :) you know he would get salty/sassy about it he's just Like That TM. And Logan is not putting up with that haha.

K = Kisses

Awkward and makes it way more tense than it needs to be smh. If he's kissing him on the mouth he gets really nervous and squeezes his eyes shut and just HOVERS there waiting for Logan to close the gap 💀 Kisses the top of his head a lot so Logan can't see him blushing cuz he's a loser.

L = Little Ones

Like a beleaguered babysitter. He finds kids annoying and he can be a little Itty bitty bit mean to them sometimes but he's like that annoying older cousin you had that you liked to play with because they were Real with you. Hair ruffler.

M = Mornings

Wakes up right with his alarm and gets straight to work. He goes jogging and does stretches, then comes back home to make breakfast. Logan sleeps through it all help

N = Nights

He goes to bed at like 9pm because he's a dork lmao and he gets tired 🤡 That doesn't mean he'll fall asleep tho! He's super restless and will be tossing and turning and sometimes Logan will spoon him so he'll sit still and relax for a second-

O = Open

...No 💀 HELP NONE OF THESE KIDS ARE OPEN FFS- 😭 naaaah he doesn't feel like telling people his "sob story" or whatever and he doesn't really like talking about it 🫠 He mentions things offhandedly to Logan, who...understands and doesn't ask.

P = Patience

Whatever he loses his temper easy, big deal. Consistently annoyed at the world, and who can blame him? World kinda sucks 🤡 he's been working on not losing his cool so quickly because Logan just doesn't like being around angry people.

Q = Quizzes

He is a detail-oriented guy with a good memory, not to mention being well organized, so he has a space for "important Logan info" that he thinks might be useful at some point. Not at Aiden's level tho (fortunately 🤡)

R = Remember

When Logan confessed, because he was just so...I'm tryna think of the right word here omg. Like, in awe? That this guy he's been crushing on and was honestly not that nice to liked him BACK? And they were so earnest and genuine about it and he was just???? Help???

S = Security

Tyler is overprotective of Logan the same way he's overprotective with all the people he cares (a lot) about. He will put himself in front of him in dangerous situations, remove him from situations if *he* thinks they're dangerous...can get kinda annoying about it...

T = Try

Tyler puts 110% of himself in anything he cares about so yes, he is trying very hard in this relationship. He is very meticulous about helping Logan out whenever possible, planning outings/dates, controlling himself around him, etc etc. Trying to get Logan's forgiveness

U = Ugly

He is overprotective and sometimes doesn't let Logan handle things by himself when Logan totally could. The aforementioned anger issues are also a problem :/ Also can be kinda brash and won't...filter his thoughts before hand when he probably should.

V = Vanity

About as concerned as the average teenage boy is. That is to say, very little- (helpppp I know this isn't the case for everybody LOL). He literally still matches outfits with his sister I don't think he cares about his own style too much LMAO

W = Whole

Nahhhh all of them got that trauma bond for life and would feel incomplete with out each other. I think he'd take it a lot worse than Logan too.

X = Xtra

Sometimes they go to church together as deeply repressed Catholic boys with religious trauma. Tyler thinks he'll go to Hell whenever they kiss but he's gonna do it anyways 😔

Y = Yuck

He doesn't really like, how do I say this, like. "Vapid" people I guess (this is just how he views some people tho). Like for example before knowing him better he thought Aiden was a really shallow person. So he'd never date anybody who he thought had nothing going on under the surface. Needs the relationship to be serious, like, he doesn't want anything casual.

Z = ZZZ

He has bruxism and like, scratches his throat while sleeping (not with his hands like, the swallowing thingy you do) (cuz he just like me fr), and he is literally so loud it will wake Logan up at night even tho he's a deep sleeper 😭

#sbg #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon) #tyler hernández #logan fields #tyler x logan #headcanons #ship alphabet

[arturleclerc]

fic recs???

anon, this is just gonna be maxiel i'm so sorry. i haven't read yukierre and dando in awhile 😭

personal favs. no particular order. may or may not have read multiple times. i most likely forgot a couple of more fics.

↳ i've decided i belong to you by @likelylarks

max and daniel used to date but are now broken up but they're still in love with each other and max gets a tattoo about it.

↳ oranges: a love language by @likelylarks

daniel hates peeling oranges so max peels them for him. part 1: all the while you were stood here waiting (daniel pov) part 2: home is wherever you are tonight (max pov)

↳ a motorhome named martha by @quagswagging

the one where Daniel and Max get a motorhome and drive from Monte Carlo to Paris.

↳ time travel au by @powerful-owl

Daniel’s future son is young and small and adorable and he time travels into the center of the paddock with a soft pop.

↳ MV33 by @whippasnappa

Daniel finds out Max is on Grindr. He's curious. He's just going to download the app, just to see. Just to look at Max's profile.

↳ Verlangen (longing) by @whippasnappa

***max/daniel, charles/pierre, max/pierre “Perhaps we can make each other feel better.” he offers...“You can sit here all night and mope about it. Or,” he leans in closer to Max, drops his voice even further to a whisper. “We can go back to the hotel and I can fuck your brains out.” #Max is pining over Daniel and Pierre is pining over Charles so they fuck about it

↳ burnt lungs, sour taste by @juddygirl

Daniel is homeless, living as street musician and doing jobs here and there. Max is a lawyer. Daniel has to find a new spot to play his music, it's on Max's way to work.

↳ give me endless summer by @juddygirl

Italy, 2016 Daniel notices him right away, despite the sun in his eyes, the mild drunkenness, and the crowd around. It’s the long sleeves in 30 degrees celsius weather that catches his eyes, how his shoulder slumps over his knees, the white cast his sunscreen has left on his face, and the fact that he’s all alone at the beach. Right there and then Max already left an imprint on his heart, it’s tattooed somewhere no one can see but him. He’ll never forget this, this haunting picture that could have only been just a teenager, unhappy to have been dragged on holidays by his parents, but that turned out to be so much more.

↳ Ascent by niaca

In a universe where people smell like their soulmate’s favourite smell when they first meet, Daniel meets Max at a karting track. Daniel doesn’t realise.

↳ Second Soul by @screwstyles

The morning of the last day of the season, Max asks his assistant to book him a one-way ticket to Bali.

(been there, done that 😭)

↳ With The Sun In Our Eyes by @screwstyles

It’s bad enough that Max is outed by an ex in the middle of racing season, and then his team suggests he pretend to date Daniel to soften the blow. It’s as bad an idea as it sounds.

↳ you only have to ask by @toastandvegemite

When Michael decides to return home, Daniel is suddenly left with no Alpha on the grid. He's not allowed to race without one. Daniel refuses to consider the obvious replacement.

↳ home among the gumtrees by @albertparks (zandvoorts on ao3)

"I know you're in Perth," Max says, "I am also in Perth."

↳ Come Close to Me/Hold My Hand/And Warm Your Heart by @leatherandcherryblossoms (neutrinobomb on ao3)

Max has a Sensitivity: when he touches someone's bare skin he can feel their emotions. He learns how to protect himself but instead of it being a shield he builds walls with it. His friendship with Daniel threatens to bring those walls down.

↳ flowers to our sobs by laeana

Because Max has always been stubborn and the kind to fight against fate. Until the end. Three years living with Hanahaki, soon four. Nothing he couldn't handle.

↳ for all that you are by rickkybobby

daniel takes a sabbatical year, and max deals with it

↳ Realistically Delirious by togenkyo

Sergio is concerned about Max's aloofness when not in the track.

↳ (don’t let) the days go by by citydreaming

single dad daniel returns to the grid for one final year with red bull, max doesn’t plan on falling in love with him and his daughter, but somehow it happens anyway.

↳ Cool Things to Say to Your Soulmate by @love-leah and @powerful-owl

Every time ink stains your soulmate’s skin, it appears on your own skin in the same place. Max’s soulmate writes, Sometimes I get tattoos just to talk to you. - Only dumbasses get a soulmate goose. You have to be so bad at navigating human relationships that the universe thinks a violent waterfowl will improve the situation. Daniel gets a soulmate goose. – Or, a collection of soulmate AUs.

↳ i carry your heart with me by capsize

five times someone found Max’s heart, and one time they kept it.

↳ nite swim by nothoughtsjustvibes

part 1: new wave (new emotion)

In which Max realizes he’s in love with Daniel and flies to Colorado to make it Lewis’s problem. Lewis just wants him to leave – preferably on a plane to Australia.

part 2: won't drown, just keep kicking with me (daniel pov)

Daniel takes a deep breath against the tears he can feel stinging behind his eyes, gently bullying himself out of crying in his childhood bedroom like a teenager. He’s not crying over a 24-year-old, whether that 24-year-old is the current F1 champion or not.

honestly, anything by @toastandvegemite @powerful-owl @juddygirl @boxboxlewis @yekoc @love-leah @fourmula1 💗

#THIS LIST SAYS A LOT ABOUT ME HJKLJHJKLJHJKLJHKL #maxiel #max/daniel

[caffernnn]

Free! Anniversary Fic Recs 🦋🐋🐬🦈🐧 Can you share your fav fics from each year (2013-2023) Free! has been around?

This is a very fun ask!! Lemme root through my bookmarks and see what I can find 😅

2013 - A lot of the stories I have saved from this time are shorter lil one-shots like “Never Leave” by Shimegami (classic mh hug-it-out interlude fic) and “The Sound of Settling” by teke (feelings realization stuff), but one other one I liked was “The Ocean You Gave My Heart” by miaoujones. Smut warning for that one (if that’s not your thing), but something about desert-bound Makoto learning to swim and indulge in water with Haru, thinking upon meeting him that he’s a wonder whether he’s really a mermaid or not, that’s neat!!

2014 - starting to realize the ones I kept any note of from the early years are some of the popular mh fics probably already recommended 10 times over, but there’s a reason why people sing their praises. If you haven’t checked out fics from tide tothemoon like 2/13189000 (mhtokyo my beloved), their writing is *chef’s kiss* delightful. Another AU I haven’t been able to bring myself to revisit was orihime’s reincarnation stories from “I cannot be without you, matter of fact.” There are two different stories, one where Makoto remembers their past lives and a follow up where Haru remembers, and oh that made me ache dude.

2015 - Speaking of suffering, have y’all checked out Heart’s Departure yet? I think we’ve referenced and talked about that story enough for it to speak for itself 🥴 heartbreaking circumstances but still cosmic and so so beautiful. Then, once you’re done crying about that story, hop over to “Shake the Heavens” by Ad_Astra to break down over (what I described in my ao3 bookmark) Makoto and Haru’s “inherently cataclysmic devotion.” I guess 2015 was the year of shoving the boys into tragic AUs and seeing how much they were willing to give up to get back to each other. A whole vibe

2016 - let’s goooo gamers, more AUs!! “I’d Create Oceans For You” by trashness is a fun fantasy adventure that has both tender moments and interesting action (and some banger art from donguris omggg). If you want something more future-fish-flavored that shows that happily-ever-after doesn’t save you from your grief, “Sublimation” by RedScribbler was great. You can find more of my thoughts on that one if you scroll back a bit in my “fic recs” tag — one of y’all sent it in and yeeees it was so up my alley!

2017 - Alright fellas, there are so many to choose from, because now we’re getting into the macbetha years! Who would I be if I didn’t mention “Eyes Wide Open All The Time” tbh?? It’s a long one with its own hard-hitting involved lore and world-building, but Beth builds this unique story in a way that pulls from the characters we know and love so effectively. I’ve sung the praises for this story multiple times (and could so do it again bro don’t tempt me) but I’ll end off with saying that if you’re fascinated in watching deeply-wounded people who’ve been put through hell learn how to make a life in the aftermath, there’s something special for you here. Aaaand, if you want something about 1/10 the length and not as heavy, “159 (Architect/Interior Designer AU)” by intoxicatedcinnamon has some fun moments 😌 that’s another one where you can find more of my thoughts somewhere in the fic recs tag (love when y’all send me stories 💚💙)

2018 - “Coral and Bone” by Macbetha my beloved!!!! Wanna play mermaids and fight the gods? Maybe try to find that summer magic that makes you want to keep going and accidentally fall in love on the way? I am puuushing you toward this story bestie. Everyone’s here and everyone’s having fun! OH ALSO I’m throwing in “Night Changes” by SEMellark because I love stories where Makoto and Haru actually figure out how to talk to each other. (Side note — a lot of these are probably gonna be things I’ve rec’d in the past, so feel free to scroll my tag for more details and consider this list an extra endorsement 😅)

2019 - (drops basket full of love for mutuals) OOPS OOPS OOPS!!! Don’t mind me, just popping in with some “Let’s Get Married” by sagesprouts and “Anthropocene” by testosterogna, nothing to see here but some classic natsunao shenanigans and one of the sickest elemental bender AUs out there 😌✨ I also have some fics from Svana saved from this year, but I’ll be mentioning her again later so hold on okay!!

2020 - alright, now the list is getting longer with everyone jumping back in during the early pandemic days 🏃🏻‍♀️SO FIRST OFF “green eyes, you’re the one I wanted to find” by infinite_always is an absolute FLUFF FEST of a soulmate AU! Unbearably tender moments but who doesn’t love that every so often? OH AND we have another one of my all-time ultimate fic recs here!! “Reaching” by CupNoodles55 has shaped and reshaped how I look back at Eternal Summer in the way I’d want any great canon-compliant fic to. Big love for interlude scenes and extra bits that help recontextualize or deepen what a moment could’ve meant in the show. Gonna end off 2020 with “The Sea Aflame” by Dizzydodo because even though this urban fantasy story is unfinished, I was super drawn in by the prospects of dragon!Makoto and whatever god stuff was going on with Sousuke. An interesting universe I love thinking about again from time to time.

2021 - Starting off strong with “love on the water, love underwater (and so on)” by rudimentaryflair because we love introspection here!!! Lovely writing style with lines that make me want to scale the walls. This take on Makoto is so so special. Also gonna rec “To Clear Away Today” by suhmayzooka (omg hiiii) if you want to be thrown into another hard-hitting intricate AU with loads of potential. Love exploring what we’ve got to see of the world so far 💞 and OOOH IT’S TIME!! “Extraordinary” by Svana_Vrika is basically canon to me at this point. Svana has a lot of sweet shorter stories with Makoto and Haru (look here, look here), but this one is everythinggg my guy. Similar appeal to “Reaching” mentioned earlier: a story of interludes that bring the story we already know to life in a delightful new way. Required reading for mhtokyo fans forreal. ONE LAST ONE OKAY!! “Teacher” by VeloxVoid is a great future fic with teacher!Makoto and artist!Haru (and I’m not biased just bc it was a gift exchange for me with details fit to my specific tastes wdym🧍🏻). Domestic blisssss

2022 - Ooh we’ve almost caught up y’all ☺️ gonna start with “All This and Heaven Too” by SocksAreArgyle because sometimes the bestie crafts a smorgasbord of smut with a delicious throughline of character/relationship development baked in. If you want your choice of spicy makoharus or some character exploration, you’re SET with this one. Next is “I Let My Heart Go” by martincrieff because sometimes the bestie looks at poor pining Makoto and goes “you know what would be messed up?” AND I JUST !!! So full of love and now full of flower petals. Hanahaki!Makoto my dearest boy!! Aaaand ending off the year with some tender mh (to Ikuya’s detriment) in “The Night Train” by Lizzyboo. They’re so softtt with each other and UGH this story is so nice. Love watching people take the crumbs from FS/FS2 and make a meal 💜

2023 - The year is young! And old! So here’s some more, with who knows how many bangers yet to come 🎉 First going to throw in the Makoharu Week 2023 collection for your perusal because I saw some fantastic stories emerge from that event. If you have twitter, I’d recommend also seeing some of the threadfics posted over there from the event as well 💚💙 and I thiiink I’m gonna close off for now with “just like it was always meant to be” by tonfea because they’ve been putting out banger stories that deserve all the love. Haru introspection is one of those things that isn’t always done very well (which is especially hard to reckon with in older fics) but tonfea’s stories all have an intimate understanding about Haru’s mind and journey that just makes sense.

Alright hello we made it to the end!!! Might’ve thrown in more than expected but I hope makoharu enjoyers find something on this list that fits their fancy 🥲 (and if anyone wants to rec something or ramble about a story here that they loved I’m all ears)

#fic recs #makoharu #oops all makoharu #a wonderful stroll through the past decade #(also I didn’t tag people but quite a few of the people I mentioned are here so uhh hiiiiii) #thanks for sending <3 #anonymous

[camscendants]

The urge to cut my hair is strong today

#like I’m not gonna just chop it rn cause my dad #but how do I bring it up #like hey can I cut my hair short #and I know for a fact he’s gonna bring up summer of 2016 #when I went to the hair place and they said ‘we might cut off an inch or two AND NEXT THING I KNOW I HEAR SNIPPING RIGHT BEHIND MY EAR #and yeah I cried and was miserable #but in my defense #I was 11 #and #my hair was legit like down to my lower back then and they chopped it all of no warning #I wasn’t prepared for that and I didn’t want to do that at the time #one instance being that my mom was the one who felt with my hair most of the time then #now I have to and it’s annoying af and painful to brush and take care of #and I want it short now #so I mean yeah I have my reasons and responses to that but then with how he thinks #he’s immediately gonna be like ‘but that’s gay you’re not really gay everyone’s gonna think your gay is this cause of you lesbin friend who #cut her hair?’ #while I mean I am gay af #I don’t want it that short and that’s not the reason I want to #it’s just a whole thing #hair #haircut #short hair #lgbt #lgbtqia #nb #enby #lesbian #non bianry #trans

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

There is a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello, Stuck. Sorry, I don’t know your real name.

I wrote this long ass post to bring some light into the fandom and between the CSs, and I hope you can post it? I’m new in the Tumblr world, but not in the 5H fandom. I don’t quite know how it works yet and, for the moment, I only know your blog and those of @emisonme, @karlaswine, @sun-to-my-luna, @underthatimpression, and @mentesimploria because, in one way or another, you’re all connected to each other. I just wanted to tell you guys how much I appreciate every single one of you, the passion you have, and the hope you keep alive among those who, like me, love the girls. Also, the patience you guys have, especially against the haters, is admirable. I love the fact that you keep going. Because this is your sacred place, as it should be.

This is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I’m what can be defined as a ‘silent fan’. I never commented on anything in the girls’ posts, not even on the fan accounts I follow. I don’t have Twitter. I have Facebook but it’s like I don’t have it because I don’t use it. I have Wattpad (obviously). I recently registered here on Tumblr, and I have Instagram. That’s what I use. It’s the only app along with YouTube that I use daily to keep up with the rest of the world. Especially the American part of the world. I’m Italian, but I speak American English well, and I apologize in advance if my lazy ass hasn’t noticed possible grammatical errors. I saw that a lot of you are into this stuff, so I thought I’d add it just because. I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Virgo rising.

I’m gonna turn 29 on December 22, and this is a BIG fuck off to all the people who have attacked you lately for your age. This is personal information that I give freely to make ignorant and small-minded people understand that, in this context especially, age is irrelevant. As you, little fucker who hides behind a computer to attack people just to feel stronger, have a life, we have it too. Like you, we have a life, a job, friends, etc. We also have passions. Passions that yes, my dear haters, also include shipping people. I don’t know why in your stupid brain we’re too old to ship people we love and to give opinions about it. I didn’t know it was something reserved only for those who still smell like mommy’s milk. But anyway…

I became aware of 5H existence just before summer 2015 thanks to ‘Worth It’. Being Italian, however, I had no idea who they were, and to be honest, I didn’t go searching for them. Randomly one day then, I ran into Camren on YouTube. I can’t remember which video I was watching, but I know for sure it was about ‘Heya/Brittana’ (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera/Brittany and Santana, my very first hard LGBT ship). And among the suggested videos, there they are. As ridiculous as it sounds, and although I liked them as soon as I saw them, I didn’t go searching for them. I did it when ‘Work from Home’ came out though. From there, I connected that they were the same ‘Worth It’ group and the same two girls I liked from those YouTube videos. I had officially become a fan. I was screwed. Screwed because, I’d officially entered one of the most messed up and yet most beautiful fandoms ever.

As I initially said, this is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. But after the recent events, seeing how many people gave up, it made me a little angry and gave me the strength to speak for the first time. I thought the first time would’ve been through the fanfiction I’ve been working on for over two years, but no. Lauren and her beautiful mouth had to terrorize, disappoint, panic, and make angry 80% of CS, thus fueling the hatred of all the other fandom towards us. So I decided to speak now. Maybe, just maybe, this very long ass post of mine is gonna help struggling CS. Maybe, just maybe, it’s gonna make them reason and bring them to their senses.

So. This, as I think you’ve understood, is about Lauren and what she said in the podcast. This is a reminder of the Laucy situation. These are things we already know and that I want to remind you of because apparently, my lovely fellows CS, either you have a short-term memory, or Lauren has the power to create amnesia in people’s minds and I knew nothing about it. Surely this power of hers didn’t work on me and a few others.

Oh and, before starting: 1) You may disagree with me. It’s normal to have different opinions. 2) You can search for information such as dates, easily on the internet. 3) I’m gonna use nicknames on PRs for fun. That doesn’t mean I hate them. I have my reasons for dislike each one of them as people, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that they were or are the Camren beards. An example to make you understand what I mean is Ty. I’m a huge Ari fan and I’ve been listening to ‘safety net’ non-stop for two days straight. I really dislike Ty as a person, but I separate the art from the artist.

Okay, that said, I can start.

Lauren said: “I knew I was queer because I fell in love with my best friend when I was like 15.” – “Her and I started to have a physical connection when I was 15.”

Lauren and Lucid Vivisectionist met when L moved to Carrollton in 7th grade. Lucille moved back to Puerto Rico in February 2012, returning to visit Miami occasionally (this explains the fetus pictures with Lucy and Camren at L’s house). In February 2012, Lauren was 15, Camila 14, and Lucy 16. And who did Lauren meet when she was 15? Oh yeah, Camila. C and L did the first phase of the audition, the ‘cattle call’, on May 1, 2012 in Greensboro, North Carolina. Audition where Camila took courage to speak at the (“Oh my God that girl is) literally so beautiful” girl from which she felt intimidated by starting that adorable brief conversation “Hi, I like your shirt”, “Thanks. I like your jacket” just before it was her turn to get in for her audition. In May 2012, Lauren and Camila were both 15 years old. Lauren and Camila saw each other again for the first time on July 25th, two months later, in Miami on the first day of boot camp, and it was Lauren herself who went to Camila: “You’re the Cuban girl!”. In July 2012, Lauren was 16 and Camila was 15.

Lauren said: “She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere, and she called me.” Let me explain to you why I think this is true.

Lauren and Luxy reconnected with each other after Lucy’s car accident that took place on May 15, 2015. Lauren was really 18 in May 2015, and we can rule out The Reflection Tour dates because it started on February 27, 2015, and ended April 6, 2015. We can also rule out these other show dates that 5H did: April 11 in Jackson Township, New Jersey - April 13 at Live! with Kelly and Michael in New York - April 19 Lauren was at Coachella with Keana, Britt, and other friends - April 22 at the Worldwide Radio Summit in Hollywood - April 25 at Radio Disney Music Awards 2015 in Los Angeles - May 8 at Channel 93.3 Summer Kickoff 2015 in Chula Vista, San Diego - May 9 at Wango Tango 2015 in Carson, Los Angeles (May 9, rumors about Camila and Louis Tomlinson just because paparazzi believed they were together when Louis was actually together with Liam outside the Project Club L.A., and C who was at the club next door) - May 15 at KDWB Radio Show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The rest of their program and possible date: May 16 at Kiss Concert 2015 in Mansfield, Massachusetts - May 19 at Dancing with the Stars in Los Angeles - May 30 at G-A-Y in London (rumors about Lauren and Louis Tomlinson this time, born because 5H went to Libertine nightclub with Louis and Niall) - May 31 at Britain’s Got More Talent in London - June 2 at Capital FM in Birmingham, England - June 5 at Good Morning Britain in London - June 6 at Capital FM Summertime Ball 2015 in London - June 12 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii - June 14 at LA Pride 2015 - June 18 at Jimmy Kimmel Live in Los Angeles - June 20 at B96 Pepsi Summer Bash 2015 in Bridgeview, Illinois - June 23 at San Diego County Fair 2015 - 28 June at Show Of The Summer 2015 in Hershey, Pennsylvania - July 10 at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. July 15, 2015, beginning of Reflection: The Summer Tour.

June 27, 2015 Lauren turned 19, and do you guys remember the events of those days? Because I do.

On June 24, 2015, Lauren celebrated her birthday in advance at the famous sushi restaurant ‘Katsuya’. Among the guests were the girls, her mom Clara, some friends, including Jill (the same Jill/Jillian Gutowitz who worked with Zack Sang and who 5H met on April 22, 2015, at the Worldwide Radio Summit, which lasted for three days but they were present for two: 22 and 23. The same Jill who wrote the article for AfterEllen on January 25, 2016, about her experiences with women who denied their sexuality. Remember the story of Lauren Jordan, right?), and Noah Benardout (may he rest in peace). Still no Lucia, not even on the days when Lauren returned to Miami to celebrate with her family before resuming the program from the 28. As I already said, The Reflection Summer Tour began on July 15, 2015, and Lucy’s first public reappearance took place on one of the tour dates, that is, July 27 at Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

From that moment on, we saw Lucille appear on multiple occasions in hops through time. After the July 27th date, we saw her during the trip to Hawaii with Lauren and Keana in September, followed by the concert that the girls had on October 10 in the Bahamas, where they stayed with their families and friends for a few days. After the Bahamas, the mess happened between 5H because they found out about Camila’s departure from the group which initially should’ve been immediate, but for which they fought and gained another year. That, was also the time when Laucy signed their PR contract. As we know from Lauren herself, that was the worst and darkest time for her. That was the beginning of her numbness.

On October 23, they were on their way to Italy and Lauren wrote on her dark diary, the one shown to us in Episode 8 of her Attunements. On October 24, they arrived in Milan for the MTV Europe Music Awards 2015 occurred on October 25, and on October 28, in Madrid instead, there was the interview with Alyson Eckmann, the journalist Camila flirted with while Lauren was sitting right next to her.

Going forward, in November we have:

- Rumors about Lauren and Julius Dein (his friend who is a YouTube magician).

-The release of IKWYDLS including the rumors about Camila and Shawn and Michael Clifford (who was already in the picture) who were ‘vying for her’.

- Beginning of Lauren’s coming out plan which included: 1) The release of The Vamps’ album on November 23rd, that is, a week after the release of IKWYDLS, and which included the track ‘I Found A Girl’. Joe O'Neill, the manager of The Vamps, liked that famous tweet. Despite the efforts to make us believe that Bleahren (sorry for the Italian pun I made here, but ‘bleah’ in Italian is equivalent to the ‘eww’ to indicate something gross, and therefore Bleah-Ren) Brauren was real and that the girl involved was Lucille and not Camila, they’ve miscalculated since Lauren and Brad ‘dated’ in 2014 when Lucy had not yet returned into Lauren’s life. But since the album and consequently the song came out on November 23, 2015, they tried to manipulate people’s minds as usual. 2) Jill’s article that served to connect and more or less ‘confirm’ the story between this Jordan and her childhood friend, Lauren-Lucy.

- December: completion of the 7/27 album + Dina LaPolt’s entry + renegotiation of the contracts (mostly DNA’s contracts) + FIFTH HARMONY MUSIC, INC. created by LAND on December 21 to prepare for the transfer of the 5H trademark, the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP, of which they became owners from April 27, 2016 + change of management from Faculty Management: Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez, to Maverick Management: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae. [All things that were possible ONLY THANKS to the exit of C from the group]

- January 2016, we have Lauren and Lucrezia who came back from Colombia to then taking a road trip for Lucy’s birthday week.

- Jill’s article came out and coincidentally, by pure chance, exactly two days later, on January 27, 2016, Camila and Dinah were hacked.

- On March 9, 2016, Lauren, Normani, Andrea, Dinah, and Keana went to pierce their ears, or rather, Laurmainah pierced their ears, mama Dre and Keana just accompanied them. During her turn, Lauren asked Keana to take her phone to make a video. In the meantime, Mani was filming Lauren, and again by pure chance, Keana, who was in the heart of the frame, took Lauren’s phone as she’d asked, and both the lock screen and the home screen portrayed a picture of Lucania during a photoshoot. Same picture Lucy herself posted on Instagram on April 10th to leave no doubt.

- April 24, 2016, Coachella together.

- Luciana went with 5H in London, in May, during the promotion of the 7/27 album. (+ Camren video of May 28, 2016)

- She was present during the start of the tour in South America on June 26th (in the evening during the concert, L danced Big Bad Wolf for her, but that’s not the famous video, that was on September 5) and 27th to celebrate L’s birthday together (picture of the 27th of them in Buenos Aires).

- June 27, 2016, on L’s birthday, Jill posted a picture with L from the birthday dinner of the year before, further confirming the story of ‘Jordan’.

- August 1, the national girlfriend day, L posted a picture of her and Lucy.

- From August 12 to 21, Lucy was with them. The night after the concert on the 13th in Rochester Hills, Michigan, videos in which Lucilla appeared during Lauren Fuller’s birthday celebration at the hotel for dinner. On the 14th in Noblesville, Indiana, during Gonna Get Better and Big Bad Wolf Lauren smiled in Lucy’s direction who was in the audience. On the 18th in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a fan met Laucy in a movie theater restroom, taking a selfie with Lauren (C posted a picture of her in the dark with the words of Bad Things “don’t think that I can explain it” the same night).

- On September 4 and 5 Lucippe returned. On the 5th in Houston, Texas, the famous ‘super HD’ video took place in which Lauren danced Big Bad Wolf for Lucy, even pointing to her during her verse. [On September 6, Midland, Texas, during the Q&A, Lauren wore the same dress that Lucy was wearing to the concert the night before, and at the same time, she sat next to C and got jealous when C complimented a fan by sending her flying kisses. Ahh… The irony]

Now. Let’s move on to the part of the podcast where Lauren explains about the kiss with Lucza at her uncle and aunt’s wedding, how her aunt “super innocently” posted the pictures on Facebook that her “unreal invasive fans” found and posted, how Perez Hilton outed her to the world by posting an article with those pictures, how she did nothing for a week, and that after thinking “Ok, it happened. People know. What am I gonna do?”, she wrote that letter against Trump as her own way of coming out.

On November 4, 2016, Lauren and Lucynda did the ‘famous’ photoshoot in New Orleans called ‘Bare With Me’. Lauren flew to NOLA right after Halloween, got back to Miami to vote, then returned to New Orleans on the 10th along with her family for the wedding. Lucianna was also with her on the 10th for the rehearsal/bowling with all of Lauren’s relatives. Meanwhile Orange Trumpeter was elected on the 8th, and many celebrities were preparing to write a letter through Billboard against him and his supporters. Labels and management saw it as a perfect opportunity to get her to come out also considering how much Lauren has always been vocal on the subject, and THEY contacted Billboard to get her to participate in exchange of the exclusive of her coming out. All that was missing was the evidence to make sure that there had been no connection with Camila, and that was the reason for the kiss at the wedding on the 11th.

On November 13, the wedding photographer posted those pictures on his website, including the one of the kiss. And I’m sorry, Lolo, I love you but, really? Who are you kidding? The pictures didn’t start spreading because her ‘unreal invasive fans’ found them on her aunt’s Facebook page where she’d posted them ‘super innocently’. The pictures started spreading after the photographer posted them! And you know what’s even more funny? That to see those pictures on the website, you needed an access password. So what are you saying here, Lo? That your ‘unreal invasive fans’ were so good, to even have hacked their way into the website for pictures they didn’t even know existed? It wasn’t your team, was it? Oh, okay. My bad.

Sarcasm aside. The pictures started to spread, Perez tweeted about it on the 14th, and in the meantime Lauren had time to write the letter that was approved by the labels and sent to Billboard (on the 14th), who approved it a couple of days after it was sent (on the 16th), and which they then published it in the article two days later (on the 18th). In all of this, on November 15, 2016, the girls all went to Epic’s party. Since we know very well that most of the cases of coming out as bisexual in the industry made by a female celebrity occur in succession with the connection with a guy, that night there was the PR proposal between Typo Dolour Signal and Lauren that he obviously accepted, and in fact, he was there that night at that party too (Picture of C with a tear mark on her cheek).

Now, the icing on the cake of the Laucy’s PR: Nicole Cartolano. Nicole is a friend of Lecy’s with whom she had already worked together and who also posted pictures of Lauren on November 17 and 22, 2016, one on December 31, 2016, together with Marian Hill taken backstage after Lauren’s performance with them on the 30th, the night before, for the Snow Globe Festival in South Lake Tahoe, California, and the one of Laucy (with the piñata) on January 10, taken the same night to celebrate Lucilia’s birthday at midnight and that Lauren also used to post it for wish her a happy birthday. That was the last public interaction between the two. *Slow entry of Tympans Dollhouse Signalized in the picture from January 4, 2017, thanks to that tweet*.

On January 21, 2017, Lauren and Lucy were at the same Women’s March, but separately (single), and we haven’t seen them together anymore. LuBYE. On March 22, 2017, both ‘Bare With Me’ and the interview article Nicole did with MTV News (she confirmed that Laucy had been together by having an on-again, off-again for years and also said a lot of other bullshit like the fact that the girls were nervous because they didn’t know how their parents would’ve responded) came out. On August 13, 2018, Nicole officially apologized to Lucy for being angry with her for posting the pictures and therefore for having outed her and for having taken part in the MTV interview without their permission. There was also the screenplay made by Nicole’s mom to make everything even more true.

Bullshit on bullshit on bullshit. Number 1, Lauren herself confirmed in this podcast that her parents knew about her, and said how much she loved Lucre’s ‘I’m out and proud’ part.

Number 2, Nicole posted a preview of the pictures on March 18, 2017, so if she really wanted to stop her before the publication on the 22nd, she would’ve had time to do so.

Number 3, Lucita came out publicly on her own with that Spanish post on Instagram on November 20, 2016, saying in summary that she was anything but straight because she didn’t want to label herself (she did it years later by saying she was a lesbian).

Number 4, as Lusia also confirmed in that post where Nicole’s mom left that comment, Nicole signed a non-disclosure agreement form. If she had actually violated it without having had a release and written consent form, she would’ve been sued.

Number 5, if Luciferase really wanted to have that conversation in private with Nicole’s mom, she might very well have done so. She could’ve contacted her and answered her IN PRIVATE for real, and not via IG where EVERYONE saw and took the side of poor, poor Luckless.

Number 6, the biggest proof that shows the hypocrisy of all this, Lucasta continued to work with Nicole. Their last work dates back to November 25, 2019.

Okaay, sure… sure, because it was normal for her to continue working with the person who outed her, wasn’t it? People’s lies never cease to amaze me. For that matter, Nicole also posted a picture of their ‘adventure’ as they made their way to the photoshoot location on November 1, 2017, and continued to wish them both a happy birthday with posts every year.

And lastly, on June 6, 2020, we have the Lucerne’s video leaked (+ old pictures and videos of 5H) where she burned pictures of Lauren and of the two of them together in 2017, accompanied by the tweets occurred two days later, in which she explained that she was hacked and that she burned the pictures for a closure. Then, exactly 20 days later, that is on June 26, 2020, the PAPER Magazine article of Lauren’s interview came out. What a coincidence! In that article, Lauren explained, along with other things, that she’d been in love with her best friend for 7 years.

Lauren, honey, the maths, the maths… If according to your words you fell in love with her at 15, got together with her at 18, and broken up at 20, how can these be 7 years? It’s 5 years… And as if it wasn’t enough, still according to your words, after 1 year and 8 months (from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017), 2 months of which public because of the wedding pictures, of the relationship you wanted at all costs, “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship”, you broke up with her because she was really toxic, and after less than a month, you started dating an even more toxic person without the proper time to heal?? How do you expect me to believe you? And I’m putting aside the fact that I know they’re both PR relationships. I’m speaking out of logic. How? How can I believe you? How does this make any sense?

Personally, yes, I believe Lauren and Lucy have a past. Lauren’s first kiss was when she was 13 (8th grade) with her boyfriend at the time, Dominic, but I think Lucy was her first kiss with a girl. And I think it happened when she was 15, but in 2011, so long before Lucy left. Lauren dated Paul Martinez from June 4, 2011, to the end of July (around 23/24). From after Paul, until her very first PR at X-Factor, Keaton Stromberg, she was single. I truly believe that before she met Camila, Lauren and Lucy did everything Lauren said. I really believe Lauren experimented with her in secret, but I don’t believe in anything else she said at all.

This is my opinion. And in my opinion, Lauren always knew she was queer, and Lucy was the first with whom she could experience the attraction and the feelings towards girls she had always felt and concealed deep inside herself. But they were friends. Just friends. Friends who messed around and experimented together in secret given the environment that surrounded them. Lucy then returned to live in Puerto Rico and they simply drifted apart because of the distance and Lauren’s busy schedule with 5H. When she came back into Lauren’s life, they rekindled their friendship. Just that. Also because, Camila, hello? Camila entered Lauren’s heart the same year Lucy left and never get out of it. Not to mention that Lucy had a girlfriend, Sarah Scott Narcise, before getting together with Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017. I honestly think that Lucy was also giving advice to Lauren about her relationship with Camila, and I also think that now they really aren’t friends anymore for something we don’t know about, even though I have my theories… But anyway. Lauren needed a beard to be able to come out, Lucy needed visibility for her modeling career and, at the time, also for her music which, however, never saw the light of day. The labels approved because they would’ve done anything to keep their chosen one out of the gay light. Camila also approved. Boom, PR.

I don’t believe all the other bullshit she said during the podcast. Because if they’d been true, they would’ve made logical sense. A sense they’ve been trying, and failing, to give for years. If Lauren really didn’t want to come out, she wouldn’t have done a photoshoot with Lucy a week before the wedding with the intention of using that same photoshoot to come out. She would not have kissed Lucy in a public place during the wedding pictures in front of a professional photographer hired for the event, knowing full well that those pictures would eventually have been published by the bride and groom, her aunt and uncle, and the photographer himself. If she wanted so badly a picture of her kissing her girlfriend, drunk or not, she would’ve taken her fucking phone and take selfies. It wasn’t the fans’ or Perez’s fault. It was the management that was following the plan.

And I’m supposed to, what exactly? Forget all these things, things that have been proofed multiple times in the past, because Lauren, or Camila, or management, or labels, or their contracts, must continue with their stupid narrative? Because Camila must continue to look straight and continue to look in love with Shalt Menstruated because the señorito is about to release his documentary and his album? Because Camila’s movie is about to come out? Because Lauren’s own album is about to be released and because the subject matter of her female-pronounced songs must only and exclusively be related to Lucy? (Although I think her album will be out next year. I think a song with female pronunciation is coming out soon. And no, I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s Burning)

Guys, come on…

Think about it. She used Lucy as a shield to tell part of her story with Camila that happened in 2014. It all fits. Even the story told through songs from Camila’s cocky POV, including ‘Like Friends Do’, ‘Eyes on You’, ‘Cleopatra’, ‘Leave for Good’, and a couple from her last album like ‘Should’ve Said It’ and ‘Feel It Twice’.

I understand why many of you have been hurt by this podcast and by Lauren herself. I understand why a lot of you are angry about the things she said. I see you, I understand, I really do. And everyone is free to feel whatever they want, I’m not saying otherwise. But I really don’t understand why you’re hiding or why you’re abandoning the ship. Authors who don’t wanna write anymore. Accounts closed. Names changed. Hope lost. This, all this, makes me angry and hurt. Because you fell for it. And you know why you fell for it? Because Lauren changed her approach. Leaving aside the part just before when she said: “Even when I talk about it, and I don’t talk about it because I’ve learned to just ignore it because-” and there, I swear I had to pause because I burst out laughing, and I was like: “Bitch, you’re the one who pulled this out of your ass out of nowhere right this second, what are you saying?”. She went on by saying, and she knows us so well because of this: “I just chose to ignore it at a certain point because getting angry to them would it mean that it was real and validate it more for them”.

And it’s true. This non-angry approach of hers, worked like a charm. Lauren’s older, she’s more mature than before. Although she was very nervous, she managed to explain everything calmly. The fact that she was emotional and almost cried in many parts, it really gave an extra boost to what she tried to sell. And I’m not saying she faked almost crying. Hell, no. That was super true and hard for her. I’m saying though, that it’s really easy to manipulate people’s minds, and Lauren used her real pain, the real suffering she has gone through over the years to tell this charade. That’s why it seemed so real. And I’m supposed to fall for that shit just because that’s what they’ve wanted for years, right? Convenient much?

Guys, please. You’re smarter than that, use those beautiful brains. For example, the fact that Lauren said: “I was queer, but she was not”, wrong as you want it to be, and “Camila and I were just really good friends at that time”, yeah, sure, Jan. Doesn’t the very fact that she used the past tense make you realize that it was done to completely detach herself from her IN THE PRESENT? Everything she said was for something. Everything had a purpose. And the goal is always the same. Make us stop shipping ‘em. Putting a label on C only served the Shoestoremila purpose, nothing else. And those were words that came out of the mouth of the one who says she doesn’t like labeling people. The same one who was pissed that someone had outed her before she wanted to. Do you really think she’s that hypocritical?

The fact that she put all the CS in the same box, especially when she talked about the Daddy situation, WAS DONE ON PURPOSE. She couldn’t fail to generalize because their purpose is, and will be for a long time to come, to kill Camren. That means the whole fandom. Not just invasive elements. But really all the CS. The purpose was to make us feel guilty. The purpose is to make us accept that it was never real, and since we care about them, to make us continue to support them individually and not as a couple, even though she knows that the real CS do it regardless. This, is called manipulation, guys.

Think about everything else too. The inconsistency. The holes in her story. The lack of explanations. And the fact that during the story of how it all happened, she jumped from one theme to another and therefore managed to deflect and not completely finish one before moving on to the other, doesn’t it make you understand that she didn’t want to give too many details? And when does that usually happen? She knew we’d analyze her. She knew she couldn’t say too much. When she talked about Lucy, she knew that WE know she was talking about Camila, and with too many details, it would also have been obvious to the others because WE would’ve pointed it out to everyone. I mean, it’s obvious enough in itself, imagine if she’d fed us more information that we would’ve compared in the timeline.

Please, guys. I know that it feels like something’s changed, but it’s not. It’s really not. I’m appealing to all of you. Open your eyes. Reason. I know many of you still have conflicting emotions and feelings, and that’s okay. If you’re still upset, if you still wanna cry, then cry. Do whatever helps you feel better because, especially after the haters have come to bite your asses, you’re entitled to feel the way you do. But please, please, don’t give up. If you give up, you just play their game. You just do them a favor. You guys had invested so much of your time, so much of your passion, so much of yourselves to just, give up. Think of all we’ve been through, especially those who’ve been in the fandom for years. Think about how happy Camren makes you. They were there for you when you needed them. When you were going through hard times. I know they’ve helped a lotta people.

And think about this too. Lauren herself said at the beginning of the podcast: “The news and the media are constantly spinning narratives for your clicks so they can make money”. And what do you think this podcast was for? It’s always the same shit. Have you not noticed how the very same news and media have ALL talked about them? Didn’t you notice how My Oh My magically returned into the charts? How 50ft surpassed the 9 million streams on Spotify? And you still have doubts?

This is instead for the CS who get often angry about their actions. I personally think it’s pointless to blame Lauren and Camila for every single thing they do that has been PLANNED for them. Especially Camila as far as Shonas is concerned. There’s a pattern here too. Lauren had her light PR with Lucia. Lauren then had her heavy PR with Typic Dole Sight while Camila had a light one with Eatchu. And now Camila’s having a heavy one. C’s one is heavier simply because they’re much more famous than PRen (Tyren) were. So, guys, be patient. There’s really no point in getting angry and blaming them. It’s a waste of energy. It’s useless to blame them if they’re gonna continue to do so over the years to come. They’re just still trying to get past their original contracts and survive in the industry at the same time. Sooner or later, I HOPE, they will be free to tell the truth or the truth will come out on its own.

Well, I’m done. Jeez, that was long, wasn’t it? But I hope it was worth it. I hope I’ve cleared your heads a little bit and instilled some hope again. I also hope I made you smile with all those nicknames and my sarcasm. I especially hope that wherever you are, you’re having a good day, and if not, then I hope it has improved at least a little bit with this post. And thank you so much, Stuck. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice for the first time publicly/virtually. You, above all, keep on being one of the lights and NEVER let them turn you off. I love you guys. Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay patient. With love, F.

I leave you with these two pearls:

Number 1. Lauren said something else too. She said: “Don’t trust me. Go research. Go look this shit up yourself”. I know she said it for a completely different context, but I found it really funny given the situation.

Number 2. This is a small scene that automatically created itself in my head as soon as I finished listening to Wonder. I titled it: The sad and short story of the making of ‘Wonder’.

Enjoy:

*on the phone*

Shawl Mendicant: “Hey, buddy. I know you were a huge Fifth Harmony fan and I know you love my fake girlfriend, so I was thinking… could you help me? You know, I need her to stay relevant, but to do that, I also need to release music and completely take all the credit from other people because, you know, the most I do is change a sentence or two in my style to make people think that I wrote all my songs.”

Sam Smith: “………okay?”

Shawnita Menorrhagia: “So, I was wondering, can I copy your homework? You can totally refuse if you want to, but I’m hoping to appeal to the love you have for 5H and Camila, and maybe help a friend out?”

Sam Smith: “Yeah, sure, you can copy my homework. Anything for my girls. Just, change it up a bit so it doesn’t sound too obvious you just copied it.”

Shonas Mended: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Thanks, man.” - *ends the call*

Sam Smith looking at the phone with an incredulous expression and one hand over his heart: “I came out as a non-binary, you insensitive asshole!”

Shoes Mentionable from the other room: “Cameeela! He said yes!” *reaching then Camila and Lauren in the living room where Lauren is lying with her head resting on Camila’s legs who’s running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding the book that she’s reading with the other one* “You were right, all I had to do was mention you girls.”

Lauren chuckling and continuing to pet Cleo who’s lying at the foot of the couch with one hand: “Told you”, to then adding: “And please, I know you’re excited because of the news but keep your voice down”, continuing to caress Sofi’s head who’s sleeping on top of her with the other one.

Shapeless Mentality: “Oh, sorry.”

Camila without looking away from her book: “Sam’s really nice. I’m sure they would’ve said yes even without the need of mentioning us.”

Lauren: “Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, babe. Yes, they’re very nice, but we’re powerful in their minds, so it was an added incentive for them to say yes.”

Shaved Mentholated: “Who are they? Weren’t we talking about Sam?”

Camila who was giggling at her girlfriend’s words:

Lauren:

Sinu from the kitchen:

Cleo who was nibbling her toy:

Even Thunder, Leo, and Eugene from outside into the yard:

*the end*

Chon Mendable: ‘Wonder’ - Sam Smith: ‘One Last Song’

____

OMG I am speechless. I’m really still digesting this whole story because it’s amazing but I wanted to start by saying hello to you and telling you my name, my name is Marite. It is a pleasure to meet you dear friend. I don’t want to write too much because your words are much more important than mine but I wanted to thank you for trusting me and my blog to tell me your story. That side of the story that, being new and not having been a harmonizer from the beginning, I never learned. I intended to ask for more information about Laucy’s Timeline but what you have told is a gem. A gem that shows that the bastards of the industry cannot fool the fans because we pay attention to everything and it is not easy for us to fall for their shit. I think the power we fans have is so great that if we all came together, we could bring down this whole fucking fake empire that they have created. That said, Laucy’s story is surprising. As planned and how each person involved had to do their part on the chessboard. Incredible. Now that you tell me that story, I think it fits the one I wrote in my once upon a time post. Sure, yours is true and has everything that mine doesn’t. I have tried to keep this blog open for all who wish to come and air their ideas, their thoughts, their tea. And you dear friend, you have been one of the best so far. You’ve given us that support that the fandom so badly needed and I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your humor, the nicknames have been so hilarious and I’m still laughing. Thank you for daring to tell this part of the story and reopen the can of worms of a PR that right now resurfaces with that Lauren interview. With a purpose, it’s true. And something tells me that we will see much more very soon. Thank you for your support, my friend. And you know, you have my blog at your disposal for whatever you need. And if you need to talk or anything else. I greatly appreciate that we can continue to keep this ship afloat among ourselves. Among a group of intelligent people who have been hurt by someone we have always loved very much even though we know the reason for all that. We can’t give up now because if we do it like you say they will win and I personally don’t plan to indulge them in that. Thank you very much for all dear friend and I hope you have a nice day. I send you a hug and I hope you stay safe.

#submission #laucy timeline #amazing #thanks you buddy #camren #f anon

[floraone]

The King’s New Clothes

So I wrote this for @nari20 because it happened, lol! (And the reason it happened is because Nari is currently doing a compilation of Mamoru Makeover Art over on twitter because she is a gift to this world and there is a MANKINI IN IT and TUX UNDERWEAR and I am LIVING and how do we deserve this woman in our midst making our days So Entertaining lol?!)

Anyway. Talking about Mamoru fashion ended in some mutual prompting so. Enjoy some Fabulous Fashionable Kendy tumblr short!

---

Utopia had taken a surprising amount of time to adjust to, and no one had had a harder time with it than the new queen of the world.

Especially in the beginning, she'd bottled it up and painted a smile over it. But Mamoru - King Endymion now, or so his official royal name, and what the fuck that would need some getting used to - had been with his wife for long enough to see the tenseness of her shoulders, know what it meant when she gripped his hand so tight.

She'd been terrified.

The leaders of the world intimidated her. Not because she was someone easily intimidated, but mostly because some of them tried very hard to do so.

She gritted her teeth through glassy eyes when another old, bald man in a bland, navy suit tried to talk down at her, and stood her ground.

But afterwards, she'd tremble in his arms in the hotel room in any capital city of the world and try to breathe in deeply through her nose. When she'd started whipping out notebooks asking him all sorts of vernacular intentionally thrown her way because she could not understand it, thinking she had to learn and asking him to tutor her even though they’d done it all on purpose, he got mad in a way he started shouting for the first time in his life outside of life and death situations.

Not at her, mind you.

But they were trying to bring down his wife, not even realising the luck they fucking had to have someone with her heart trying to make them be compassionate and humanitarian and good. Someone so unwaveringly pure, someone with her unfaltering integrity. Someone so easily finding the good in others and bringing it out.

But they'd just fucking have to learn.

He'd hired a personal translator for her then, first thing in the morning. One of what was to be one of many. Someone who'd take these terms fired at her in foreign languages and usually translated just as haughtily and arrogantly to her, and instead explain them without shrouding them in pomp and circumstance. 'Habituation' in the end, was only 'getting used to something over time', after all, for a good translator.

They might have tried to hit her at her flaws, but Mamoru was determined, at Neo Queen Serenity's side, to show off where she was better than any of these assholes combined. The world lacked love, not fancy words. Usagi had him for the fancy words.

And so, even though it all began in endless work hours that tore at Usagi, in stuffy rooms half-way around the world at any point in the year, slowly, she grew into it. If Usagi was good at one thing, it was finding positivity and joy in all manner of circumstances, and this was no different.

The climate treaty negotiations in Brussels might have been mind-numbingly infuriating, but she'd snuck them out during lunch hour to a Belgian chocolate vendor nearby who'd been making paradise for the tongue for over 300 years in their little family run-store, and Usagi's eyes lit up like this had suddenly turned into the best fucking day. She might have to try and wrangle power-hungry men, but she could also buy a restored French carousel from 1872 and put it in her sitting room, and yes, she had. And yes, she rode it.

But even those worldly pleasures that made it all more bearable for someone who struggled with having to concentrate for a minimum 60 fucking hours a week most of the time, those pleasures that had the power to balance out the fact that Tsukino Usagi did not get to sleep in anymore at all, ever, were sometimes turned sour for her.

The second time he'd shouted outside life-and-death situations, he'd found her crying over a tabloid as she emptied hanger after hanger of extravagant dresses from her wardrobe.

One of those pleasures that made it all worthwhile for her? Fucking extravagant dresses. Even when Usagi was 14 and had only just learned she'd one day be fucking queen of the world, she'd started to look at couture differently. Started collecting moodboards and clippings. She'd been looking forward to that. A teenage girl's dream of the glamourous life of being Queen.

But now that she was, this life was more work than glamour. The only glamour she got was the one she made for herself. Like carousels in sitting rooms. Like Paolo Sebastian Autumn/Winter 2018 and George Chakra Autumn/Winter 2016 and Isabel Sanchis Spring/Summer 2020 and Ralph & Russo 2017 and Dior Spring/Summer 1992.

The tabloid was horrid. 'Neo Queen Serenity: What a Little Girl Looks Like Who Mistakes Leadership for Playing Dress-Up. Is the Future in Good Hands?'

Underneath it, a spread of Usagi in glittering, sparkling, over-the-top dresses. Everywhere from cutting ribbons at the newly minted Crystal Tokyo Center for Free Childcare to sitting in week-long conferences somewhere in New Brunswick.

Sometimes, he wasn't so sure if the world even deserved her.

He'd personally hung back every hanger into this wardrobe himself, cancelled their meetings for the day much to Ami-chan's organisational horrors, and took her shopping in disguise.

That day, something profound had changed.

"This one," Usagi had said with a flushed giggle. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes were dancing. And really, if it took playing dress up for her, no garment was ridiculous enough to not be worth it.

He stepped out the dressing room in the brightest floral-patterned shiny pastel suit the world had ever seen. Baby blue and pink roses over rococo gold embroidery to bright baby blue patent leather loafers. He looked like a chandelier had fallen into fresh paint and then rolled around in confetti. And his Queen loved it.

"Well, then," he'd winked, and she'd giggled again. "Let's take five."

If they were going to make fun of her choice of clothes, he'd just have to top her game, Mamoru decided.

And really, it made so much fucking sense.

Back when he was a boy with a glimpse of he's future, he'd always wondered how the hell THAT happened. And with that, he'd of course meant something quite specific, and not the fact he'd somehow made it on a throne.

A lavender colored tuxedo that had made him frown into the night for a long, long time. A lavender colored tuxedo that had yet not found its way into his possession. One he'd begun to doubt ever would.

Of course, Mamoru had always liked the more dramatic of clothes. So far, so unsurprising. His favorite attire was a tux and cape that he could flap like no other, after all, and then came a color-blocked puff sleave shirt he'd worn until it fell apart. He'd always liked color. One didn't get married to Tsukino Usagi if they didn't adore a colorful world.

But that?

And yet the royal world they'd found in their future hadn't looked satin and lavender when they'd finally made it there. It hadn't happened. It was navy suits and etui dresses with leaded hems to they wouldn't blow up, covered shoulders and skirts that absolutely had to be no smaller than knee-length, and he supposed it had made sense. After all, the Windsors didn't run around in see-through shift dresses and tiaras, either.

He'd even been a little relieved. He liked blending in. He'd told himself, when he first saw that lavender tux when he was fucking 18 and his mind was blown with too much information he should not have had, that he wasn't gonna do it. No matter what.

Now? Now it made so much sense. Really, he should have known. Of course, this was what was gonna do it.

Someone criticize his wife? They gotta go through him.

If protecting his wife's happiness while she made the world a better place meant Lavender Suits and Capes, then this was what it'll take.

Now, he was gonna fucking do it. Of course, he was.

So no, the Windors still wore unicolor, leaded costumes in the future.

His wife wore skin-tight chiffon, silk and satin.

And he wore mermaid-colored sequined-dinner jackets. He wore heels with flamingo-patterned trousers, complete with a tuxedo stripe at each side. He wore shimmering, metallic athletic wear, skin tight. He wore fake fur collars and thick embroidered velvet robes to black leather gloves. He owned a mankini. A hot pink leather jacket he wore over men's pastel evening wear. The green jacket was jealous somewhere in a closet. Maboroshi no fucking fashion sense.

Nobody ever wrote something offending about the Queen's new clothes once he'd grooved himself in.

(Minako loved it perhaps most of all.)

---

(ANYWAY NARI *ILLUSTRATED* THIS IN THE 50 MINUTES THAT IT TOOK ME TO WRITE THIS AND YOU GOTTA SEE HER ART. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HOW DO YOU DO MAGIC SO FAST, NARI?!)

#my fic #my stuff #tumblr shorts #kendy #maboroshi no fashion sense #crystal tokyo #usagi x mamoru fanfiction #sailor moon fanfiction #i love my friends

[preciouslandmermaid]

fuck it, personal post.

me going thru my personal tag was fun. SO. here’s some stuff i noticed.

in 2012 to 2016:

before my boyfriend and i started dating, i noticed that i would often complain/vent about the fact that he would say things like “i want to see you!” and then not make plans, suddenly ignore my texts, or whatever. this behavior eventually re-manifested at the end of our relationship, where he was putting all his time/energy/focus into partying/doing drugs/hanging with his friends instead of spending any quality time with me. His actions showed me FROM THE BEGINNING that I wasn’t a priority. (it took a few years to learn that lesson, but here we are.)

In 2016 to 2018/2019: 

i start casually seeing someone, and it’s a lot of fun, absolutely started as a fwb/rebound after my breakup. however, i caught feelings, and had trouble expressing those feelings/being honest about what i wanted because i was afraid to lose what i had. My behavior eventually re-manifested at the end of THIS relationship (after we had been dating for about 2 years) -- I put myself through a lot of pain/agony because I was scared to communicate my feelings !!! I literally from summer 2018 to winter 2018 was SO GODDAMN DESPRESSED/ANXIOUS/UNHAPPY and just trying to “power through it” because I loved him & I wanted to make it work & I abandoned myself. Eventually, I did communicate what I wanted, and things started to look up/improve in 2019, but shortly after our 3 year anniversary, he ended it because he wanted to be with someone else. (it was a lot messier than that but lol) ~~ what did we learn??? COMMUNICATE UR DAMN FEELINGS, AMELIA. 

Today, 2021 - here’s what my past relationships taught me:

pay attention to how people treat you. period. my first ex didn’t make me a priority & that behavior continued, in small and big ways, even after we had been together/had been dating.

communicate. even if it’s hard. turn toward them. you deserve to have your feelings known. your needs acknowledged. it’ll save you heartache.

Lately, I’ve been talking to this person. and he’s great. i like him. 

and the thing i like most?? the version of myself that i’m bringing to the table. i still get nervous/anxious when i have to talk about feeling-stuff. but i still do it. even if it takes me a few days to speak up (and i will keep working on this!) because everything we’ve done (so far) has been about being open and honest and communicating with each other in healthy, meaningful ways. 

i tell this person i want to talk to them (facetime or whatever). i speak up when they do something i appreciate (like when he varies my pronouns! it makes me happy!) - even the other day, when i was having a bad day, i said to him “i know you’re trying to cheer me up. i appreciate it. i appreciate you. but i think im just gonna be sad today.” and THAT’S VALID.

anywaysssss i hope i continue to grow and learn and flourish :) 

#personal

[grigori77]

Movies of 2021 - My Pre-Summer Favourites (Part 1)

The Runners-up:

20.  THE MAURITANIAN – acclaimed filmmaker Kevin MacDonald (The Last King of Scotland, Touching the Void) presents his best film in years with this stirring, troubling dramatization of the harrowing fourteen-year detention at Guantanamo Bay of Mohamedou Ould Slahi (A Prophet’s Tahar Rahim in a deeply affecting turn) between 2002 and 2016.  Jodie Foster is also impressive as Nancy Hollander, the crusading attorney fighting for his release, as is Benedict Cumberbatch as Lt. Col. Stuart Couch, her opposing counsel, who comes to realise Slahi’s confinement has been built on a tissue of lies.

19.  RIDERS OF JUSTICE – Danish writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen (Men & Chicken) brings his biting sense of humour and anarchic style to bear in this excellent black comedy starring Mads Mikkelsen as Markus, an emotionally distant soldier called home after his wife is killed in a tragic train wreck.  As he attempts to reconnect with his troubled daughter (Andrea Heick Gadeberg), Markus becomes convinced by the theory of a trio of intellectually gifted outsiders who believe that the accident was in fact an elaborately staged assassination by the eponymous criminal biker gang.

18.  STOWAWAY – Netflix dropped another sneaky sci-fi hit on us in the form of this deceptively understated space thriller about three astronauts on a mission to Mars who discover they no longer have enough life-support resources left to survive their journey after finding a member of the launch crew accidentally trapped on their spaceship.  Writer-director Joe Penna is in comfortably familiar territory after acclaimed survival thriller Arctic, while the compact cast – Toni Collette, Daniel Dae Kim, Shamier Anderson (Wynonna Earp) and, in particular, Anna Kendrick – are all excellent.

17.  OUTSIDE THE WIRE – in the near future, civil war has broken out in the Ukraine and US forces fight to keep the peace with the aid of newly-minted robotic soldiers called GUMPs. Drone pilot Thomas Harp (Snowfall’s Damson Idris) is reassigned to the warzone as punishment for insubordination, finding himself teamed with Captain Leo (Anthony Mackie), an advanced hyper-intelligent android tasked with hunting down insurgents bent on unleashing nuclear holocaust on the West.  Mikael Håfström (director of 1408 and Escape Plan) ably delivers some impressively weighty action sequences, while asking interesting questions about the potential dangers of artificial intelligence.

16.  THE EMPTY MAN – I was a little late stumbling across this spectacularly twisted cosmic horror based on a graphic novel by Cullen Bunn (The Damned, The Sixth Gun) and Vanesa Del Ray, but it grabbed me in the first ten minutes and wouldn’t let go.  The ever-excellent James Badge Dale delivers one of the best performances of his career as James Lasombra, an ex-cop who gets mixed up with a nightmarish conspiracy involving a doomsday cult built around the terrifying eponymous otherworldly entity in an head-fucking horror gem that entirely deserves its growing cult status.

15.  SOUND OF METAL – had to wait until Amazon Prime released this in the UK last month, but this challenging and emotionally-charged drama was worth holding out, Riz Ahmed delivering his finest ever performance as Ruben Stone, a heavy metal drummer whose life is thrown into turmoil when he goes deaf.  Ready Player One’s Olivia Cooke also impresses as his girlfriend Lou, a massively talented singer whose own personal demons are set loose as Ruben’s condition drives a wedge between them, while writer-director Darius Marder (who co-penned overlooked masterpiece The Place Beyond the Pines) shows he’s definitely gonna be a talent to watch in the future.

14.  CHERRY – Tom Holland reteams with his regular MCU directors Joe and Anthony Russo for this harrowing but achingly beautiful adaptation of author Nico Walker’s sort-of-but-not-exactly semiautobiographical novel about a former US army medic who returns from the horrors of Iraq with crippling PTSD at the height of America’s opioid epidemic, forced to embark on a spree of bank robberies to feed his drug habit.  Holland has never been better, while the Russos prove they’re capable of delivering more than just bombastic superhero action and big effects.

13.  SHOPLIFTERS OF THE WORLD – writer-director Stephen Kijak may be known for making documentaries about musicians (Scott Walker: 30th Century Man, Stones in Exile), but he proves he’s got a flair for fiction too with this cannily subversive comedy drama about a Middle American town that goes a little crazy one night in the 80s when a teenage boy hijacks the local heavy metal radio station and makes them play wall-to-wall tacks from The Smiths following the band’s sudden breakup.  There’s escapist fun to be had from the irreverent quirkiness of the premise, and the youthful cast are all excellent, while Joe Manganiello delivers a brilliantly nuanced supporting turn as the besieged DJ.

12.  BILLIE EILISH: THE WORLD’S A LITTLE BLURRY – I’ll admit to being a bit late to the party when it comes to Billie Eilish – I’d heard snippets of her music (most notably Bad Guy and her admittedly impressive theme for the new Bond movie), but until I watched this deep dive into her life and career, following the creation and promotion of her debut album, I didn’t yet know what all the fuss was about.  Well I’m now thoroughly converted – not only is she an incredibly talented young musical artist but also a fascinating and intriguingly down-to-earth person too, and I look forward to following her career in the future.

11.  SHADOW IN THE CLOUD – Chloë Grace Moretz gets a role to really sink her teeth into as Maude Garrett, a take-no-shit WAAF flight officer on a classified mission aboard Allied bomber Fool’s Errand in the Pacific in 1943, in this enjoyably unconventional action horror from My Wedding & Other Secrets director Roseanna Liang.  The film is largely a one-woman show, with the cameras clinging stubbornly to Moretz while the genuinely terrifying story unfolds around her, and she invests Maude with a ferocious stubbornness and intensity that’s crafted one of the cinematic year’s most impressive action heroines.

#movies 2021 #the mauritanian #riders of justice #stowaway #stowaway movie #stowaway netflix #outside the wire #the empty man #sound of metal #cherry #cherry movie #shoplifters of the world #billie eilish the world's a little blurry #shadow in the cloud

[clumsyclifford]

soft asks! so lovely!! 4, 13, 21 (bonus points if it’s in the format of the scene in himym where ted runs to the mothers apartment because he wants the extra days), 25 and 28! - maggie (I’m on mobile and it’s easier to send asks this way)

MAGGIE HI THERE IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME

4. what flower would you like to be given? daisies or sunflowers!!!! my favorites. omg !!! i officially have new favorite flowers!!!!!!! that's VERY exciting

13. what’s your comfort food? mac and cheese!!! i would murder several human beings and potentially an animal for some fucking mac and cheese right now. other options include matzo ball soup and mashed potatoes.

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be? (first of all how dare you bring up that scene that only really hit when i just watched it on my rewatch because obviously the first time i watched the show i didn't understand the Significance and when i watched it this time i wanted to cry) (that being said ill try my best to do justice to that scene)

well, i'd grab my keys and get in the car and drive hours into the night until i finally got back to my house - not the way it looks now, but the way it looked in 2016, when it was smaller and hadn't yet been renovated and i was still a sad lonely depressed kid who talked to her imaginary friend with concerning regularity - and i would burst through the front door and take the steps to the basement where my bedroom used to be and knock on my bedroom door and when the me from 2016 opened it up i'd say:

"you're going to be okay. look at me. look at how much better i look. let me tell you about some amazing people you're going to meet, people that are going to make you believe in soulmates. you're going to hit a low and then you're going to keep going, and eventually, sweetheart, you're going to start getting better, and one day you're going to be sitting in a bed at the summer camp you're still fighting tooth and nail against attending this summer, and you're going to be working there. and it's going to be one of your favorite places. and you're going to make this exact same trip i've just made, and you'll look yourself in the face like i am right now and you'll tell yourself that you're going to be okay and you will know for a fact that it's true, because you'll be me, and you'll know that i'm not lying, and you'll realize it was worth it to be miserable so you could learn to be grateful for the good things; you'll realize it was worth it to almost lose your best friend, one you don't even have yet, so you could learn that you can be the villain too, sometimes, and that what's even more important than being good is acknowledging when you're wrong and becoming better; you'll realize that it was worth it to be so unhappy so that you could truly become a person who tries her hardest to minimize the unhappiness around her however she can. you're gonna get there. trust me. you have to trust me, because i'm there, and it's so good here."

(did i do it justice)

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.) it's not a thing yknow? it just depends on the person and the circumstance. the best personal gift someone could give me is, you know, something i would clearly benefit from or something that would improve an area of my life that i want to improve, but something i don't even know i want or need. i think that kind of gift indicates that the person has been paying attention to me so that they know what i like and they know what i need to make the thing i like better. if that makes sense. like sam got me this insulated travel mug and it's perfect and suits my needs exactly because i'm at camp and i'm so busy and i'm running around so much but also, tea!!! and it's the fact she knew that about me and got me something that enabled my tea habit............yknow, it's that kind of thing. for the record sam that was in fact the perfect gift. so thank you <3

28. hugs or hand-holding? oh! uhhhhh hugs, i think.

soft asks

#i went so hard on 21 and im so sorry but in my defense. i JUST finished watching the show. #literally 25 minutes ago #so i am in full emo brain mode rn lmao #and now i MUST go because i have just been promised DONUTSSSSSS #BYE #ask #anonymous #maggie #its the way the length of these answers varies so wildly #a real rollercoaster here

[wonhoonz]

𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐢

'fuck fuck fuck' 

 many things could've wrong on the second day of school. so many. out of all of those things, of course, it had to be this. y/n practically forgot about those damned letters, the last one she wrote was almost a year ago. in all honesty, she had no idea if her feelings for hyunjin were the same. hyunjin, yeji's brother, her neighbor. she hadn't seen him in over two months, he was away doing some soccer camp during the summer. she didn't have any classes with him and yeji practically lived in the koo household, so there was no excuse to go over to her house. even though he was back, she still hadn't greeted him. the only reason she really knows how he has the letter is the fact that donghyuck had messaged her earlier that morning asking her to explain. she hadn't even seen the message hyunjin had sent her too. she prayed to herself that maybe it was just donghyuck who got his letter.

y/n sat on one of the library chairs, staring at the table, contemplating her whole existence. she knew for a fact that her letters didn’t just send themselves out. in the midst of trying to solve the crime, a certain cream-colored envelope slid into her view. 

na jaemin.

“are you kidding me?” y/n sighed as jaemin took a seat in the chair beside her. 

“okay, i kinda always knew you had a crush on me but you know i’m with soojin, i mean sort of. i get that that one summer we spent together in like 6th grade was really fun but shortly after that i got with soojin. so, i really appreciate it koo but it’s never gonna happen.” jaemin blurted out in, y/n promises, like five seconds. the h/c haired girls let out a small snort before full on laughing out loud.

two minutes later, both students found themselves standing outside of the library due to y/n laughing too loudly. and her she was, still cackling like a witch.

“hold on, just give me a sec- second,” she said through tears as jaemin stood there, confused as hell. clearing her throat, the shorter girl started; “ okay, listen. you do know that letter has a date right?” she said, quickly grabbing the latter from jaemin’s left hand. quickly scanning the crumpled paper, she tapped softly right where she had written the date. “see? right there, june 27th, 2016.” she added smugly. “i do not have a crush on you, na jaemin.”

“okay, yeah but why would you send the letter now then?” he questioned, confusion clearly evident on his face. yes, jaemin was very beautiful but he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. nonetheless, the question made sense and as much as y/n wanted to mock him, she knew he was right. pulling him to the side as a group of students passed, she quickly said in a hushed voice.

“listen, i don’t know who sent my letters out but it definitely was not me. no one was ever meant to see those letters and i wrote those a long time ago.” she said with crossed arms.

“you wrote more than one? damn, i didn’t take you for a player, y/n.” he replied with a cocky smirk. “actually, i see one of those letters right there.” he pointed behind her.

‘fuck, who could it be?’ she thought frustratedly as she spun around. of all the people, of course it had to be hyunjin. noticing the same cream-colored envelope in his hand, with wide eyes, she turned back to jaemin and grabbed his face. bringing his lips to hers, before jaemin had any time to react, she had pulled away. without turning back around, she picked up her backpack and ran down the stairs. jaemin and hyunjin stood there both in shock.

“i- uhm, you guys are together?” hyunjin asked the boy you had just kissed.

“no, uh- not really.” jaemin replied, ‘not really?’. “i mean no, definitely not.” he added quickly.

“oh, okay.” hyunjin said awkwardly, slowly walking away to his first class.

meanwhile, you practically sprinted down the stairs before bumping into donghyuck.

“bitch, what the fuck? i saw everything from down there, you practically showed the whole school your little make-out session with jaemin-” donghyuck practically yelled. you placed a hand over his mouth before dragging him down the stairs and into the soccer field.

“oh my god, i can’t believe i just did that,” you said, finally letting go of his wrist.

“you need to explain everything now. like asap.” donghyuck said, dropping his bag on the grass and sitting down.

“so we skipping first?” you asked, sitting down beside him.

“obviously, spill.” he replied like it was obvious. you made a face and groaned.

“what the frudge have i gotten myself into.” you started, quickly following up with the whole story.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

choose your asian boi ✩ part three

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a/n ok but listen i am aware of some of the typos but plsadjid forgive me i haven’t updated in twenty-five years so here’s the next chapter :DD pls forgive me if there’s any mistakes yall im swamped with school work :’))

#na jaemin imagines #na jaemin series #na jaemin #nct scenarios #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream social media au #the boyz imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids #the boyz #kim sunwoo #lee donghyuck #haechan imagines #hwang hyunjin #kpop social #kpop scenarios #kpop au #kpop imagines #hwang hyunjin imagines #kim sunwoo imagines #nct fluff #nct angst #nct imagines #kpop social media au

[getalittleclosey]

under 100k larry fic recs

hi! i’m becca and i read...so much fic. these rec lists are an accumulation of fic that i’ve read or reread and extra loved from 2016-now. there’s a wide range of stuff here and i think there’s definitely something for everyone!! i divided them up by length so you can check out all those categories below!

please make sure to read tags and warnings on all these fics!! the only things i think i can guarantee is that these are all larry, there’s no non-con, no age play, no eating disorders, no mentions of bg, they end happy, and they’re mostly aus. oh and they’re all on ao3 and some are locked so you’ll need an account! anyway i hope y’all enjoy!!!

under 5k

under 10k

under 25k

under 50k

100k+

☆ somethin’ bout you by missandrogyny 60k

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

☆ tug-of-war by cherrystreet 63k

Louis' husband dies suddenly and he is left with nothing. Well, not really nothing. He has Harry. And a St. Bernard puppy named Link, whom his late husband left behind for him. Louis takes care of Link and Harry takes care of Louis. Everything is okay until suddenly, it isn't.

☆ cameras flashing by juliusschmidt 82k

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

☆ home to you by crowsonthewire 54k

“If someone wrote that for me I’d probably be a crying mess before it was even over. I’m crying a little right now actually.”

It’s about you, Harry’s brain screamed. I wrote it about you.

Gemma appeared in the doorway then and dragged Louis away. With one winking smile he was gone. Harry curled up and stuffed his face into his duvet so he could cry with no one hearing.

**** At fifteen, Harry wrote his first song for an oblivious seventeen year old Louis Tomlinson. Ten years later he’s a singer/songwriter who cant find any words for his second album and Louis is a closeted actor tired of LA.

They both try to run from the things weighing them down and in the process, they find each other.

☆ fate don’t know you by sincewewereeighteen 99k

“Just. How bad is it?”

Zayn sighs. Shit.

“Not that bad, really,” he says quickly as he scans Louis’ face. “It depends, really. The freshmen are all right and I think you’ll manage just fine with the sophomores.”

“But?”

“Seniors are always shit because they think they rule the school, and this specific class of juniors… Well, let’s say you’ll find a real troublemaker there. Some say he used to be a soft kid, but- I don’t know. Most teachers just leave him alone.” Zayn shrugs. “He walks around with a tough crowd. Guess no one wants to take their chances with him. This is Chicago after all.”

“D’you know the name of the kid?” Louis asks, already very curious to meet said person.

“His name is Harry Styles.” The other man responds. “You’re in for a treat with this one.”

[Or: The one in which Louis always hears thunder when Harry speaks and sees lightning when he glances at him.]

note: this is student/teacher so if that makes you uncomfortable please skip! harry’s 17 but he is still a student so power unbalance and all that but from what i remember it was tastefully done. just like....don’t do that irl obv jfkdaj

☆ like an endless summer by objectlesson 87k

“You just wanna go fawn over Styles as soon as possible,” Zayn grumbles.

“I do not. Plus, he probably got ugly this year. Eighteen is an awkward time...I bet he’s got acne and one of those terrible fuckboy haircuts all the hipsters are getting these days, with the shaved sides? Just watch, the first year we’re gonna get any time together is gonna be the first year I don’t have a stupid crush on him.”

---

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 6k of pwp

☆ back to how it was by lululawrence 53k

Harry carefully stood up and was on his way to the window to look outside when he ran his hand through his hair, and it stopped entirely too soon.

He froze then began fervently patting all over his head. Where was his hair? He’d been growing it out for a couple of years now and it was finally almost to the length he’d had as a goal the entire time. How could it have gotten cut off overnight?

Harry rushed over to the mirror hung on the wall adjacent to the window.

Oh shit. What the hell was happening? Harry leaned closer and saw that not only was his hair cropped shorter than he’d ever wanted to go again, but it looked like he had the beginning of crow’s feet by his eyes. Those definitely weren’t there yesterday! And what happened to his tattoos? He still had some of them, like the star and the letters he’d gotten for his mum and Gemma, but most of the rest were missing and there were a few he’d never seen before instead.

What. The. Fuck.

Or the one where Harry goes to bed angry with his bandmates and wakes up in a universe where One Direction was never formed and he has to find a way back home. Home definitely has nothing to do with his best friend and bandmate, Louis. That would be ridiculous.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 24k!

☆ when we were younger by dinosaursmate 76k

About a week after Harry started visiting this particular chat room, he was watching some kid argue with the whole room about football, personally disinterested as he tipped a bag of crisps into his mouth. He happily chomped on the crumbs, taking a swig from a glass of Ribena to wash them down, glancing at the screen and very nearly spat the squash back out again. His heart was pounding wildly. The display icon of the argumentative newcomer had caught his eye, and not in a good way. He gulped as he clicked the picture, and when it popped up in full resolution, his heart nearly fell right out of his arse. - Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

note: there’s a second part that’s 3k ziam centric

extra note: you don’t want to know how many episodes of catfish i’ve seen

☆ like cabbages and kings by you_explode 61k

When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland. There were rabbits wearing waistcoats and talking cats and ridiculous tea parties, and amidst all the absurdity, there was a boy. A boy with dimples, big green eyes and the sweetest soul Louis has ever known. Louis has always kept a place in his heart for that boy and for his funny dreamworld, and when he’s twenty-five and his life falls apart, it turns out Wonderland might not be so imaginary after all.

☆ knives don’t have your back by turnyourankle 51k

The lone survivor of an on campus massacre that claimed the lives of his four housemates, Harry is urged to take a sabbatical or transfer. Instead, he chooses to stay in school, move into the dorms, and overcome his fears.

He finds comfort in a budding friendship with Louis, an upperclassman who lives on his floor, not realizing that their relationship will bring him closer to his traumatizing past rather than further from it.

☆ loving you is free by littlelouishiccups 68k

Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn't been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

note: there are two other parts to this that are pretty much pwp. they’re 24k and 4k

☆  dance to the distortion by lis (domesticharry) 93k

Louis accidentally breaks Harry's camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.

☆ waiting on you by emma1234 77k

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 5k

☆ this wicked game by cherrystreet 70k

An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

note: i’ve seen maybe five episodes of the bachelor in my life and hated it but i have read every larry bachelor fic 

☆ coax the cold by mediawhore 86k

England, 1897.

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

☆ this feeling by orphan_account 59k

"Gonna play it back for you now." Louis clicked play and the song flooded through Harry’s headphones.

The sound of each others voices united into one, and the rhythm of the music carried their voices effortlessly. Harry’s insides tingled and a wave of shivers rolled down his spine.

Before the clip cut off, Harry turned to raise an eyebrow at Louis, and failed miserably at disguising his smile. Louis stared back at him in shock.

Or A Larry Duet AU

☆ love’s on the line, is that your final answer? by pearlydewdrops 53k

Harry can’t believe it when Louis, the boy he’s always had a tempestuous rivalry with, asks him to be his boyfriend. Well, pose as his boyfriend, that is—for a new television game show in which young couples are quizzed on how well they know each other for a jackpot of thirty grand.

Reluctantly, Harry agrees—because he's got student loans to pay off, hasn't he? What's the harm? And he can totally deal with keeping his secret thing for Louis under wraps too. This is all just to win some money. It's fine. No big deal. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, everything. Obviously.

☆ say your prayers by nothing_but 59k

Louis was left wondering what the fuck this encounter had been. Coming to this camp - especially after learning that it was a religious one - he had never expected to find himself in a bathroom with the attractive, strictly Catholic, not-gay-or-anything head counsellor making flirty remarks. Quite the opposite, to be honest.

Or the one where Harry, head counsellor at a Catholic summer camp, dedicates his time to what he loves most, year after year. It’s mostly the same every summer; the place, the topics, the games. This year, however, there’s a new assistant counsellor stumbling into his camp, and possibly his heart.

☆ i’ll crash until you notice me by stylinsoncity 61k

Louis sets off to Barbados to oversee the massive resort his family owns known as Sandy Hill. For years, he's been looking for a change in the monotony of his life, seeking adventure and perhaps love too. What he doesn't expect is the bright eyed boy who spills a milkshake on his shoes.

Cue the summer loving.

note: zendaya is listed as a character in this which desperately makes me want to reread it because i don’t remember that!!!

☆ nothing but you on my mind by nonsensedarling 84k

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

☆ ghost note symphony by whoknows 96k

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

☆ thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in by nonsense_darling 52k

Harry's alpha fraternity donates to a local thrift shop (because of Liam's latent crush on a cute beta in his lecture). Louis' financial situation (and confusing omega instincts) lead him to make some interesting fashion purchases. Lots of pizza, feelings, and not-really-lying.   

☆ here in the afterglow by fondleeds 89k

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

-

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

note: i can’t believe i waited until 2020 to read this...it was life changing tbh and i cried

☆ just call me inspiration by hereforlou 52k

The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.

(Or, the one where Louis is a writer, Harry is an art student, and they inspire each other in very different ways.)

☆ truly, madly, deeply (10 things i hate about you) by sunsetmog 54k

The first Louis had heard of Harry auditioning for X Factor was the night he'd turned up on Louis' doorstep the day before leaving for Boot Camp, with a DVD and an illicit bottle of vodka.

Thing was, Louis hated secrets, and he really hated being made a fool of, and he really, really hated Harry Styles.

or: the one in which they're all in sixth form together, and Harry auditions for X Factor without them.

note: this has always been a fav

☆ the impossible now by stylinsoncity 65k

A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

☆ swallow the knife by whoknows 76k

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

note: i don’t even normally like non-aus but i have read this fic five times in the last nine months so. there’s that. 

extra note: there’s an 11k alternate sex scene here

☆ perfect storm by cherrystreet 80k

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

☆ anyplace, anyhow, anytime by aimmyarrowshigh, colazitron 81k

Harry's going to audition for The X-Factor in a few days, he really can't use this persistent tickle in his throat. What's even worse is when the tickle turns into a full blown cough, and the cough makes him pass out only for Harry to wake up in a different world. And then another one, and another one, and another one. The only other person who seems to be as affected as he is, is a boy with blue eyes who keeps showing up in every single one of these worlds.

note: i reread all of aimmyarrowhigh’s larry fics this year including the 500k or whatever sheylinson verse and i thought about putting them all in here but like...felt excessive & i figured i’d give attention to a less well known one, plus this way we get colazitron too! 

☆ the second hand unwinds by kingsofeverything (fullonlarry) 52k

Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.

☆ waiting for the tides to meet by nauticalleeds (metamorphosis) 60k

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

☆ keep my candle bright by whisperdlullaby 79k

louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

☆ strawberries & cigarettes by dimpled_halo 77k

Harry looks up and immediately freezes. Next to Ms. Archie stands the boy from just the other day. The boy with the leather jacket and chipped black nails, that might or might not be sketched in the very book Harry has just placed on the table in front of him. The leather jacket is missing today, probably because they aren’t allowed as part of their required uniform attire, but Harry can still see the fading black nail polish on his nails, and eyeliner around his eyes. Harry’s mouth goes a little dry. This boy is so intriguing to him.

“Ye-yes, Ms. Archie?” Harry tries to play it cool, but he’s almost positive that his cheeks are burning red, and he’s relieved neither of them can tell how fast his heart is beating in his chest.

The boy seems to also recognize Harry, because his lips curve into a knowing smirk.

“Harry is at the top of his class. He’s your best bet at getting familiar with things around here.” She explains.

Louis nods, his smirk still very prominent on his face. “Thank you Ms. Archie. I’ll be sure to take advantage of young Harold here.”

*

Summary: Two stories, eleven years, and the two boys that never stopped loving each other.

#one direction #larry stylinson #fic rec #mine #getting those longer fics!! #33 of these wowie #fic masterpost

[sorrynotharry]

You don’t be on here no more and that don’t sit right with me. This was my go to page in 2014-2015. Then you left!!!

Aww hello anon! Thanks!

I am definitely almost always lurking on this page, like a ghost in the night haha, however I know that I’m not nearly as active as I used to be, and I haven’t posted any fic in like.........3 years? Maybe 4? Jeez time really flies!!

I do often get messages like this, usually very sweet anons like you who ask where I went, how I’m doing, saying that they miss the times when my page was more active and I was posting Harry fics pretty much weekly and honestly, I miss it too! It was overall a very positive experience during what ended up being some overall not-very-positive years of my life. 

I’ve wanted to post a little ‘update’ for a while and I think this is as good a time as ever to do that. I’m gonna put it under a cut for 1, length 2, potential triggering content regarding death/grief. So anyway here goes:

This is mainly me kind of going on a reflection rant so it may not make a lot of sense but I’m going to do my best!

So I started this blog in February of 2014, and I think I pretty immediately started posting my writing and to my astonishment I ended up getting lots of new followers and readers really quickly. I was not at all expecting this blog to EVER reach as many people as it has, but I’m so grateful for it. To be honest, of course the 1D fandom can be a complete clusterfuck, but in comparison with other fandoms that I’ve been involved in, this is definitely the one that I felt most “at home” in, and had the most fun being a part of. So so so many of you who are still around to this day (which is incredible to me!) were SO kind to me, so lovely and accepting and supportive of my writing and my little blog corner of the internet and it meant so much to me. There are friends I’ve made through this blog who I still talk to, people who have been there for me when life was really kicking me down the road.

For some context, since the start of this blog, both of my biological parents and my stepfather have passed away. My dad (who I wasn’t super close to but you know, still my dad) passed from cancer in April 2014. My stepfather who I lived with died in June of 2015, also from cancer (if you’ve been on my blog for a while you might remember this, I posted about it because it was very sudden and I was really struggling with it). 

Then, in August of 2017, my mother died. This has been part of the reason I really kind of stopped being active in this blog; I wanted to talk about it, if even just to say that I was going on hiatus or something but my grief has been so powerful that it’s in the last few months that have I felt like I can actually type these words out on here. 

My mom was chronically ill for most of her life, and her health really deteriorated in the last 7-8 years of her life. She was also my best friend and my biggest supporter in everything from the time I was a child. The last 6 years of her life I was her main caregiver with some help from my stepdad - when he died all of her care fell to me to handle on top of grieving him. It was May of 2017 that my mom made the decision to go into hospice (if you don’t know what this means, it basically means she didn’t want to have life-saving treatments anymore and wanted to be allowed to pass away in peace). My sister and I begged her to hold on for a few more months so that we could prepare, get her affairs in order, and be on summer break from school while we accepted the fact that we were losing our last living parent. 

That summer passed in a very weird and painful blur, and honestly I don’t remember much of it, but I remember most the moments in her last weeks when we would just hold each other’s hands and talk, laugh, cry, whatever came up. If you’ve ever begun grieving someone before they even pass, you probably know what I’m talking about. It was in those moments that she very insistently made me promise her that I would keep taking care of my sister (who was only 16 at the time) and graduate college, that I wouldn’t just lay down and give up because she was gone. So I have done my best to honor that promise to her. I quickly got legal guardianship of my sister (she’s an adult now but we still live together and are very close), and less than a month after my mom passed, I was training for a volunteer position at a center on my new college campus which later turned into a paid position. And this past June I graduated!!

If you’re reading this and also class of 2020, you know it’s a sucky year to graduate lol, but I hope you’re able to be proud of your accomplishments because regardless of the circumstances, you still did it! It’s taken me years and years to get my Bachelor’s because of changing my major, having to take breaks due to mental health issues and relocations, and having to take only 2 classes at a time while working 2 jobs. I finally did it and now I have to figure out what my next steps are from here (in the middle of a whole ass pandemic no less, smh!). 

I realize that I just basically wrote a whole essay that I didn’t necessarily mean to, but I promise I’m not saying all of this to make you feel sad for me; I just want you all to understand why my presence has been so sporadic the past few years and I feel like I just have to be honest.

Coming back around to this blog, every once in a while I check my activity and follower count, very much expecting to see naught but 12 bots left and a single tumbleweed blowing across a dry activity page...but that’s never the case. So many of you are still here, I get new followers all the time, my fics and posts still get notes almost every day, and I still get messages like this from people who care about me, who remember the heyday of this blog and miss it.

I’ve said ‘thank you’ to you guys so many times I don’t even dare to count, but really, honestly, truly, thank you. It’s because so many of you are still here, even though it’s been 4 full ass years after I’ve even posted any fic at all, that I haven’t deleted this blog or gone on indefinite hiatus and just archived this blog. 

I can’t promise that I will ever post any new writing again. I still love Harry but it’s almost in a different way...the heart-racing, goosebumps raising, heart-eye inducing giant crush I had on him in the earlier years of this blog has significantly subdued, even though it’s been known to make its presence known from time to time. And I honestly am just a different person in general. You can’t go through stuff like what I described above without changing at least a little bit. 

That being said, I don’t think I’ve written anything that wasn’t a college essay or long-winded work email since I posted my last one-shot on here, which I think was early 2016. I very much miss writing for pleasure, and particularly if anyone remembers the fic ‘On Fire’...that story sits untouched and neglected in my Masterlist, haunting my steps and my dreams, because I had all kinds of grand ideas for it and it was pretty well-received I think! I’ve toyed with the idea of just trying to finish that fic up, if only so I can say that I finished at least ONE multi-chapter fic in my whole life. Again, not making promises, but it’s a possibility. 

Anyhoo, if you have made it this far down on this very long and dramatic post, again I say thank you and bless you! I hope for those of you who have been around for a while (and for that matter those who are newer followers as well, hello!), this provides some clarity and maybe some closure if you were just wondering where the hell I went and what I’ve been up to. I didn’t mean to kind of drop off the face of the earth like I did, it was just how I was dealing with everything at the time. I’m heading into a new chapter of my life now that school is finished, and who knows what that will bring, but for now, I’m still around, and I hope you’re all as safe, healthy, and happy as you can be right now :)

Thank you again and take care <3

#mine

[shitty-check-please-aus]

2020 Books Read So Far

Note: Most of these are audiobooks (listening to books counts as reading books and if you disagree I’d ask you to consider why you believe that), books I started and didn’t finish will be listed but not reviewed, and all my opinions are extremely subjective. I’m putting this on this blog because I want to and I think it’ll help me keep track of what I’ve read if I write it down in a couple places. 

Some notes:

I’m surprised that most of these are nonfiction! I don’t usually think of myself as a nonfiction reader. 

Having audiobooks has made me way more productive as a reader, since I can read while I’m doing repetitive tasks at work, when I have to stand on the bus, when I’m running, etc. 

Naked, by David Sedaris

3/5, the audiobook was “unabridged selections” which means “we didn’t edit the individual essays but you’re only getting half the book”– it would probably have been a 4/5 if it was a whole book. I liked that Amy Sedaris was reading parts of it, but that’s because I like her more than I like her brother. This is sort of an example of the difference between “comedic” and “humorous,” because it’s definitely the latter. 

Read it if: you want to read something pretty fucking weird. 

Lafayette in the Somewhat United States, by Sarah Vowell

4/5, I saw this recommended a lot when Hamilton first came out so it’s been in the back of my mind for a good while. The book had a great cast, and having different people reading the historical quotes was an excellent touch! 

However, I think Vowell’s conversational style is a little jarring here sometimes. It’s like “wait, why are you talking about Bruce Springsteen, I’m not that familiar with his work but he definitely isn’t from Revolutionary War times.” I got her book Assassination Vacation at a used bookshop recently as well, and both books suffer from post-2016 hindsight, where she’ll say something about how incompetent and foolish the politicians of her time are, and I just have to snort to myself and say “Sarah, you’re going to lose your goddamn mind soon.” That’s a bit of an unfair reaction, but it’s hard to avoid having it.

I was also, maybe unfairly, expecting to learn more than I did. The problem is that I know a Lot about the Revolutionary War, and from the introduction I thought we’d hear more about Lafayette’s later life (my knowledge drops sharply after about 1810). The book basically ends after the Battle of Yorktown, though.

Read it if: you have not seen/listened to both Hamilton and 1776, or if you want to read a summary of the Revolutionary War with a focus on one French captain. 

Assassination Vacation, by Sarah Vowell

3/5, honestly maybe a 2.5/5. Okay, so. Either I know a lot more about American History than I felt like I did or this is again a very surface level thing. Part of it is because she spends 123 pages on Abe Lincoln. There are 255 pages total. 2/3 of the states I’ve lived in are Indiana and Illinois, two states that fight about claiming Lincoln as their own, and I’ve been to D.C. 4 or 5 times, so I feel like I know enough about Lincoln. I know about John Wilkes Booth, and his brother Edwin who saved Lincoln’s son’s life, and the death train that took Lincoln’s body around the country. I did enjoy learning about the doctor who was probably conspiring with Booth and how he ended up saving tons of lives in prison when there was a yellow fever outbreak (also to be briefly unbearably nitpicky: I think she might have mixed up dengue and yellow fever? She calls yellow fever “breakbone” but I can only find instances online of people calling dengue fever that. Maybe they called them all breakbone in the late 1800s. If anyone reading this is an epidemiologist, let me know).

It was interesting to hear that Charles Guiteau, killer of President Garfield, was part of the Oneida cult. I’m trying to think of anything notable she said about Leon Czolgosz, killer of President McKinley. I guess she talks about how people assumed he was a foreigner because of his name, but I already listened to “The Ballad of Czolgosz” in Assassins, so I knew “Czolgosz, angry man, born in the middle of Michigan.”

This one is from 2005 so the politics stuff is a little more interesting, since at the time I was busy learning multiplication and spending one entire baseball season learning about baseball and following my team (they won the world series, I have excellent timing). I will say that in 2005 we did have Google, so I am again annoyed with some of her asides and personal anecdotes. Look, if you go to the Hemingway house and you don’t know there will be cats there, that’s on you if you don’t bring your Claritin. Hemingway is associated with only two good things, six-toed cats and Daiquiris. 

She also does not acknowledge that the parties basically switched platforms? Lincoln’s Republican party is not today’s Republican party, in fact kind of the opposite, so it’s weird that she starts the book with a dedication that’s like “to my lifelong Democrat grandpa, he’d be pissed I dedicated a book about 3 Republicans to him.” I guess she does sometimes say stuff like “how did Lincoln’s party become Reagan’s” (paraphrase), but she doesn’t actually get into it. 

Speaking of Democrats, she literally spends more time talking about Pablo Picasso than she spends talking about JFK. She doesn’t explain why she didn’t talk about JFK, but it seems bizarre to me to write a book about American assassinations and to leave out John Fucking Kennedy. Literally I’ve talked more about JFK in this section than she did in her assassin book. It’s not until page 253 that JFK gets a full paragraph. There are 255 pages total. Truly, if she’d taken a paragraph to be like “I’m focusing on the presidents who were elected before 1900″ or “the presidents whose immediate families aren’t still alive” or even “I didn’t want to travel to Dallas for research” or SOMETHING to explain why she left out JFK, I would have understood it more instead of flipping through the pages wondering what was going on. 

Read it if: You do not listen to too many history podcasts and you didn’t read the Wikipedia page for the musical Assassins. And I guess if you don’t want to acknowledge that JFK did also get assassinated and that was kind of a big deal. Actually just listen to Assassins instead. 

And Then There Were None, Agatha Christie

5/5 as a mystery, 0/5 for its original title (not gonna say it here but if you’ve ever googled the name of HP Lovecraft’s cat, it’s along those lines). Less than 6 hours, narrated by Dan Stevens from Downton Abbey, fairly ideal as an audiobook. I am 95% sure I’ve already read this, because I spent the summer before I started high school reading every Agatha Christie book in the library (I do not have a list of all the Agatha Christie books in my library the summer of 2010, so there is some question). 

Read if: you want to hear the guy from Downton Abbey deliver the line “I’m not a complete fool!” in a tone that makes it sound like “I’m not a fucking moron!” Sidenote: Can anyone tell me if Brits say “solder” by pronouncing the L that I’ve always heard as a silent L? Or if Dan Stevens just fucked up that one word?

Over The Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love, by Jonathan Van Ness

4.5/5

This was a super enjoyable audiobook! It’s a testament to JVN’s considerable charisma that this book is full of him giving people in his past who would rather be anonymous Russian names, and it doesn’t get grating (as a Marina, however, I was shocked to not hear my name at any point; most of the other Marina’s I’ve met in my life are Russian). JVN has had a wild ride in life, and it’s a really raw, honest story of how he became who he is. I will say that if you are interested in reading this, please look up the trigger warnings; there are a lot of things that could be triggering to people. 

I feel a little bad at how much more I liked this one compared to Tan France’s memoir, but I also feel like whoever was ghostwriting that one did a bad job at making Tan seem... not extremely defensive, cocky, and prickly (it seems that JVN did not use a ghostwriter; Tan’s on the other hand, let the phrase “I’m proud to be a petty bitch” make it into the final proof several times). Also JVN advocates going to therapy in his book, while Tan kind of says that you should only go to therapy if you have no friends or family or life partner to talk to, which I fundamentally disagree with. I don’t know. I also feel like, if I were to get a makeover from the Fab 5, Jonathan would love my hair (I have great hair) while Tan would say that I’m dressing too old for a 24 year old and then take me to fucking Lane Bryant or Torrid (I wear a size 16 US so IRL options are limited). 

Read if: You like Queer Eye or Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness

Medallion Status, by John Hodgman

4.5/5

I really like John Hodgman’s podcast, and I got to ask him a question at an event he did at the Field Museum and he was very nice, so I went into this inclined to enjoy it. 

And I did! I had a good time reading it. I read it the first week of January and now it’s the second week of February so I have already erased much of the book’s content from my mind, but he somehow made the perspective of being a formerly kinda famous person really interesting. I would also recommend Vacationland, particularly if anyone wants to write an au where Nursey, as a New Yorker, has a vacation home in Dex’s town in Maine. That’s right, I brought it back around to the topic of this blog. And that would be a fucking fantastic au. 

Read it if: you like memoirs! it’s a good one. 

Murder on the Orient Express, by Agatha Christie

Gonna give this one a 3/5 for performance, because Dan Stevens (again, because I liked his narration in the other one) does a really annoying American accent for a few characters, and an extremely bad Italian accent for another. I’m starting this review only a few hours in, so if it turns out that the Italian man is not Italian, I’ll revoke my criticism. Still a 5/5 mystery, though. I did have to stop many times when they were talking about Istanbul to go over to Spotify and play “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” by They Might Be Giants. 

Books abandoned in 2020 (so far) (no real spoilers, I didn’t get more than a few chapters into any of them):

The Unhoneymooners, Christina Lauren

I got to a point where the main character was telling a lie that would put her newly accepted job into jeopardy, and it stressed me out so much as a relatively new hire that I stopped listening for the day and started another one, and then the week had passed and then the library took it back. I think I’d enjoy it more if I was reading it physically and I could control how fast I got through awkward parts (I am practically allergic to secondhand embarrassment). The performance was good and I did get a hankering for cheese curds. 

Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris

I had like three audiobooks checked out at the same time, and even though this was again an abridged version, I just didn’t have time for all of them. My mom has a physical copy, I’ll borrow that at some point. 

The Witch Elm, Tana French

This is one I may revisit someday. The main character is kind of an asshole, which is the point of his character I think, but it made it hard to get into the story. It’s also a 22 hour audiobook, which is kind of insanely long. Additionally, the narrator has a very slow way of talking, but if I tried to speed up the rate of playback I had trouble understanding his accent (I think I just have trouble processing really fast speech in general as well, but I would’ve had an easier time understanding someone with the same accent as me). Anyways, someone put a hold on it at the library and then I didn’t check it out again. 

#long post #off topic #Marina Reads #edit: put under a readmore bc I forgot to earlier

[blog-cosmosuniverse1]

Joseph R. Biden was just inaugurated as the 46th President of the United States yesterday. I have nothing further to say about this historical event attended primarily by 26,000 National Guard Troops, FBI, NSA, CIA Operatives.

What Have We Done? By E.P. Unum January 21, 2021

Joseph R. Biden was just inaugurated as the 46th President of the United States yesterday. I have nothing further to say about this historical event attended primarily by 26,000 National Guard Troops, FBI, NSA, CIA Operatives. That fact alone is a very telling story. Apparently, additional security was deemed necessary for a President-Elect who received allegedly 80 million votes, more than any other person in the history of our country. All of the “peaceful riots” throughout the summer and Fall, where stores and businesses were looted and destroyed, monuments toppled and police and citizens were killed, did not require the assistance of armed troops to quell these “activities”. I also will not comment on the 17 Executive Actions signed by our new President on his first afternoon in office. None of these offer any hope or unity nor are they of any benefit to the American people or to America. Indeed, they will drive us further downward. But here are some lessons we can learn from the new change in leadership to the America we know: Perhaps now you understand why there was never any action against the Clintons or Obama, how they destroyed emails and evidence and phones and servers, how they spied and wiretapped, how they lied to the FISA Court, had conversations on the tarmac, sent emails to cover their rears after key meetings, how Comey and Brennan and Clapper never were brought to any justice, how the FBI and CIA lied, how the Steele Dossier, paid for by Hillary Clinton, was passed along, how phones got factory reset, how leak after leak to an accomplice corrupt media went unchecked, why George Soros is always in the shadows, why Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan and George Bush and John McCain were all involved, why they screamed Russia and pushed a sham impeachment, why no one ever goes to jail, why no one is ever charged, why nothing ever happens.

Perhaps now you know why there was no wrongdoing in the falsification of the FISA Warrants, why the Durham Report was delayed, why Hunter Biden has not been charged, why the FBI sat on his laptop for almost a year while Trump was being impeached on fictitious charges, why the Bidens' connection to China was overlooked as was unleashed the perfect weapon, a virus that was weaponized politically to bring down the greatest ever economy known to man and at the same time usher in an unverifiable and unnecessary system of mail-in voting that corrupted the very foundation of our democracy. Maybe now you can understand why the media is 24/7 propaganda and lies, why up is down and down is up, right is wrong and wrong is right, why social media can now silence the First Amendment and speak over the President of the United States. This has been the plan by the Deep State all along. They didn’t expect Trump to win in 2016. He messed up their plans, and delayed them a little….four years to be exact. They weren’t about to let it happen again. Covid was like manna from heaven for democrats and the socialist left, it was a tool to inject fear into all Americans and it was weaponized Governors who shut down their states and crumbled their economies out of fear. The media, never to let a good crisis go to waste, helped shame and kill the economy, and the super lucky unverifiable mail-in ballots were just the trick to make sure the 47-year career politician, allegedly with hands in Chinese payrolls, the man that couldn’t finish a sentence or collect a crowd, miraculously became the most popular vote recipient of all time. You have just witnessed a silent, bloodless coup, the overthrow of the US free election system, the end of our Constitutional Republic, and the beginning of the downward slide of capitalism and the free enterprise system into the abyss of socialism and communism. What a remarkable achievement! We have sacrificed the greatest engine of freedom, growth, and prosperity known to man on the altar of ignorance and totalitarianism. What will happen next?  Well, here's a brief list: ·     Expect the borders to open up. Increased immigration. ·     Expect agencies like CBP and INS and Homeland Security to be muzzled or even deleted. ·     Law enforcement will see continued defunding. ·     Elimination of the electoral college will be attempted. ·     History as we know it will be erased. Our children will no longer study the American Revolution, the Civil War, World War I, II, Korea or Vietnam. These will be replaced with classes on “white priviledge”, “how American racism stole lands from native Indians” and the “need for racial equity” because America is a terrible nation. ·     The Supreme Court will be packed with liberal judges. ·     Your 2nd Amendment will be attacked and there may be a gun confiscation or gun buyback programs enacted and you will find it difficult to own a weapon…and ammunition of any kind. ·     If you have a manufacturing job or oil industry job, get ready to be unemployed. ·     If you own and run a business, brace for the impact of higher taxes and more governmental regulations. ·     Maybe you’ll be on the hook for slavery reparations, or have your suburbs turned into Section 8 housing. ·     Your taxes are going to increase dramatically and businesses will pay more. ·     We will be paying more for gasoline at the pump and we will soon find ourselves once again dependent on foreign oil.

President Trump made us energy independent. For the first time in our history, the USA became an oil-exporting nation. Biden’s illogical and corrupt dismantling of the Keystone Pipeline not only displaced 42,000 high-paying union jobs but now Canada will sell the oil in Alberta BC to China while we search for new supplies at higher prices. Well done Joe! In a couple of years, we will see the onslaught of inflation, high unemployment, less productivity as more and more people become dependent on the government for subsistence, all of which is the natural course of socialist economies The dollar will no longer be the world’s reserve currency and America will no longer be the bastion of freedom it once was. America will be overtaken by China as the largest economy in the world and, because we have become so complacent, we will find ourselves in the middle of great turmoil and upheaval with lots of civil strife that will make 2020 look like a walk in the park. I could go on and on. There is no real recovery from this. The national elections from here on will be decided by New York City, Chicago, and California. The Constitutional Republic we created will be dead. Mob rule and appeasement will run rampant. The candidate who offers the most from the Treasury will get the most votes. But the votes cast won’t matter, just the ones received and counted. That precedent has been set. Benjamin Franklin was walking out of Independence Hall after the Constitutional Convention in 1787, when someone shouted out, “Doctor, what have we got? A republic or a monarchy?’” Franklin responded, “A republic, if you can keep it.” Ladies and gentlemen, we have now lost the Republic our forefathers bequeathed to us, the Republic we fought and bled for these past two hundred and forty-five years.  Some of you are wondering how this came to pass. The answers are indeed quite simple. We did it to ourselves: ·     We turned from God. We erased God from our halls of Justice and the Town Square. ·     We turned from family. ·     We turned from our country, our Flag, our Monuments to our leaders who paved the way. We denigrated all of these with revisionist history and the tearing down of monuments to our civilization and way of life. ·     We replaced achievement and recognition by embracing “participation trophies” so that our children can all feel a sense of accomplishment even when there was none. ·     We embraced degeneracy culture, inviting pornography into our laptops and living rooms. ·     We became some infatuated with technology that we lost the human touch…we found it easier to send emails or Facebook or twitter posts to a friend or co-worker ten feet away from us rather than walking over to chat with them. We have, in essence, become too high tech and low touch. It sort of begs the question…what does it matter if we wire the entire world if we lose our immortal souls? ·     We celebrated and looked to fools as our heroes, comedians whose idea of a joke is holding up a bloody head of our President. That’s not funny. It’s sad. ·     We worshipped ourselves selfishly and took for granted what brave men and women fought and died to give us. Their sacrifices are no longer valued, replaced instead with scorn because they may have committed “transgressions measured by today’s standards, not theirs”.

We disregarded history and all it teaches. On our watch, America just died a little. It’s likely she’ll never be the same again. Not until the 74 million Americans who voted for President Trump stand up and shout “we will no longer tolerate this and we want our country back” and do something about it

For starters, get off Twitter and Facebook and refuse to be a part of their efforts to disrespect the First Amendment. I did. And I don’t miss it at all. If companies want to insult all the people who supported President Trump by denying them jobs, fight back. Don’t buy their products. Shun them. Until we take those steps, they will continue to wield their power, but the ultimate power is in your hands…the power of the consumer. We did this to ourselves. We made our bed, now we have to sleep in it….until we get off our asses and remake it. Some of you have no idea what you’ve done. You know now. It is time to do something about it. Sadly, some of you do know what you have done. To them, I say…if you kick a dog long enough, pretty soon he’s gonna bite. I am tired of being kicked and insulted and disregarded as if I don’t matter. We do matter. We are Americans

[streetgxth]

you can tell a lot about someone by the type of music they listen to

rules: hit shuffle on your media player and write down the first 20 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

ok so i am fashionably late to doing this (very on brand for me) but i really wanted to do it so here we are. extra special thank you to @himbocalum for tagging me in this. out of all my 8 years of being on tumblr this is my first tag game can you believe? anyways lets go this is gonna be a little long and so if i can’t figure out how to put this up as a read more then i apologize. feel free to come talk to me about any of these songs or bands i'd be more than happy to chat!!

1. graveyard souls - crown the empire: i love this band so fucking much ooooomg y'all don't even know. this song goes so hard and dave and andy's vocals on it... yes. also "just shut your eyes and remember you're never alone" i'm emo about it and always will be thnx

2. teenagers - my chemical romance: speaking of emo lmao. this right here a fucking emo kid classic. this song is fun af and i love my chem v much

3. bury a friend - billie eilish: i don't care i'm gonna say it. this is a great fucking song and the vibes are immaculate especially the bridge like are you kidding? i love the horror movie energy of it so much

4. nightmare - halsey: MY MF WIFE omg i love miss halsey with my whole heart. she really went tf in on this one and for that i thank her. she sounds so powerful on this one and i just- yes

5. horizon - bad seed rising: rip to this band they not dead just broken up :( anyways i love their singers voice here and lyrics on this one feel very hopeful and the song kinda makes me think of spring time for some reason? i don't know but it's a great song

6. the fallout - crown the empire: once again I LOVE THIS BAND especially this song bc it was the first one i ever heard by them and that made me love them from the start. it has a special place in my heart for that fact and even tho it's not an emotional song it makes me emotional bc of the memories i have with it. so yeah an amazing song i love the theatrics of it and the breakdown!!! pure fuego

7. kids in love - mayday parade: this one really throws me back to the start of my emo days. i listened to this song bc it was the basis of a 5sos one shot djskdhdjd. ANYWAYS love this song it's a bop and i listen to it every time it comes on shuffle

8. rest in piss - old wounds: oof we really getting into the diversity of my music taste with this one. so basically what this song is saying is FUCK FASCISM!!! and i agree. this song goes crazy and i love it and i love his voice and i love this band

9. voodoo doll - 5 seconds of summer: this song is a bop! such a throwback to my early emo days as well. self titled era was a Time™ and i've lowkey been missing it

10. choker - beach goons: this song is pretty short and simple but i love her bc it was the first song i heard by this band and i immediately fell in love with them. i miss them so much as well. nothing happened to them just thinking about seeing them live

11. untouchable - motionless in white: i fucking love motionless in white holy fuck. i will say that this is a song by them i'm more neutral towards like she's good and all but i don't love it like some others songs by them

12. detox - darke complex: another one of my absolute favorite bands and i'm still sad about them breaking up. ugh this song is so fucking good i love it so much. the bridge on this *chefs kiss* they did not have to snap so hard like damn!!

13. autumn leaves - ed sheeran: i don't listen to him v much anymore but this song still hurts. it's so pretty and the first time i heard it i cried (which partly may or may not have been bc once again it was the basis for a fic i was reading djsjskdjfk)

14. blasphemy - bring me the horizon: another song i'm a bit more neutral towards but still really enjoy this band. oli sounds great on this song tho i love his voice

15. breathe in, breathe out - set it off: I LOVE THIS BAND AHHH!! you know how some bands really aren't THAT great when they first start one which is fine but like set it off is hardly one of those bands. this is an older song by them and like they've just always been so fucking good and i love that about them

16. lucky strike - troye sivan: my mf baby troye omg. this song is a certified bop! it's so catchy and fun and he sounds so good on it. ugh i love my son

17. concrete - as it is: my other son!! I know patty walters is not the only member but i do have a special place for him in my heart so! anyways this song launches me into my sophomore year omg. i listened to this song a lot and it's just such a pure pop punk song imo and i just love it

18. fountain of youth - cane hill: this brings me back to summer 2016 which ugh one for the books y'all such a good summer. but uh yeah this song is sick i love me some good metalcore

19. all i see is gold - bridgit mendler: y'all we failed bridgit she was the unproblematic pop girlie that we needed!! this song is just stunning she sounds amazing and the energy of this song is just so real and you can really feel the tension in it

20. winter - pvris: i love pvris!!! this song lyrically isn't that fun but overall sonically it's so bouncy and upbeat and i love songs like that especially ones by pvris bc i adore lynn's voice

if you’ve already done this pls just ignore this of course but if you haven’t then go ahead and do it if you’d like: @reddestdesert @fourdrunksluts @malumsmermaid @calsbunny @babyboyafi @killmytyme ​ @wheniminouterspace ​ @singledadharrington ​ @jizzhands ​ @daftprettyboyys

#tag game #music #me #this was fun #i love talking about music

[grim-on-the-darkside]

“According to Lucas' son Jett, he spent about a year before the Lucasfilm sale developing a sequel trilogy, which would have continued the saga.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnr18AUym-o

..

George Lucas’ Episode VII - https://medium.com/@Oozer3993/george-lucas-episode-vii-c272563cc3ba

George Lucas' Ideas for His Own Star Wars Sequel Trilogy - https://io9.gizmodo.com/george-lucas-ideas-for-his-own-star-wars-sequel-trilogy-1826798496

STAR WARS: The Original Plans for the Sequel Trilogy - YouTube -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1dM9qFe4p0

https://ibb.co/jvph85c

"In late August 2012 Star Wars fans from all around the world gathered in Orlando, Florida for the sixth official Star Wars convention, Celebration VI. The lineup was strong despite the live action movies, always the brightest and biggest stars in the franchise’s galaxy, coming to an end seven years earlier. Though he was not scheduled to attend, series creator George Lucas was there. Publicly, he was just there to make a surprise appearance during the panel for the animated The Clone Wars TV show. But privately he was there to talk to original trilogy stars Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher. They were brought to a conference room away from the convention floor where George broke the news: he was working a new Star Wars trilogy and wanted them to reprise their iconic roles."

[Disney didn't buy Lucasfilm/Star Wars until October 30th of 2012. This meeting occurred months before the sale, and at that point, the sale couldn't be assured.]

[Now there is some speculation as to why Lucas made the treatments of his ideas for his Sequel trilogy if he was considering selling, but it should be noted that Jett Lucas, George Lucas's son has stated that his Father [George] had been working on his Sequel trilogy for an entire year before this.]

When George decided to make a new trilogy, he moved quickly. He reached out to old friend and all-star film producer Kathleen Kennedy sometime in the first half of 2012, hoping to bring her on as co-chair of Lucasfilm.The two then approached screenwriter Michael Arndt about writing the entire trilogy around May.

This means this was already being talked about and definitive actions taken for the creation of his Sequel trilogy in the first months of 2012, which could have been almost 10 full months before Disney bought Lucasfilm in October of 2012.  

The design team, or “Visualists” as Rick Carter would call them, would meet with George Lucas on January 16th at Skywalker Ranch, where he would be shown art of Luke Skywalker, the Jedi Temple he had exiled himself to, and the training of Kira. This appears to be his last involvement with the film.

Phil Szostak, author of The Art of The Force Awakens and The Art of The Last Jedi, revealed that the Luke Skywalker seen in The Last Jedi had his genesis in ideas from late 2012.

"So, the late-2012 idea of a Luke Skywalker haunted by the betrayal of one of his students, in self-imposed exile & spiritually in “a dark place”, not only precedes Rian Johnson’s involvement in Star Wars but J.J. Abrams’, as well."

And in 2016, Pablo Hidalgo confirmed that Thea (Kira), Skyler, Darth Talon, and the planet of Felucia were in George’s plans.

[Darth Talon was the only thing from the Expanded Universe in Lucas’s Sequel Trilogy.]

..

"Fast forward to 2012, when we hear George is looking to make SW movies again, I though I thought 'I wonder what next Mon Calamari's gonna be. And it turns out, the Mon Calamari this time was huge swaths of the EU. There was no Jacen, no Jaina. No new Jedi Order. Chewie lived. Not surprising, but there it was." Pablo Hidalgo ~ 2016               

https://ibb.co/nmjWcBM

..

"My question is, what did George's treatments for 7 look like? I would love to see if they fit the EU."

Answer [Pablo Hidalgo]- "They did not. For instance, there was no Jaina, Jacen, or Anakin."  ~ 2017                                                                       

https://ibb.co/N7HKCsF

..

"Question from Today, but I thought this was pretty well known. George Lucas never considered Jacen, Jaina, or Mara Jade as part of his universe."

~ Pablo Hidalgo May 2016

https://ibb.co/VDX2qvY

..

Question - 'So, if the 3rd season of Rebels was discussed in autumn of '14 [2014], how long was the reboot planned?

Pablo Hidalgo [Lucasfilm Story Group] - "Since at least the summer of 2012."

[Lucas still owned Star Wars than.]

https://ibb.co/1qTnLjS [direct tweet] https://ibb.co/C5rRTFc - [Discussion tweet is used in]

..

“According to Mark Hamill, George’s overall plan for the sequel trilogy had Luke training his sister Leia in Episode IX before dying at the end of the film, though it’s unclear if Mark was referring to Lucas’ plans at the time of the sale to Disney or if this was from the numerous ideas he’d shared with the actor in the 80s.”

[It was a bit of both. Mark Hamill had always wanted [If Lucas made a Sequel Trilogy] - To have Leia learning the Force, it is even speculated that Mark Hamill wanted Luke to die a heroic death towards the end of the ST having trained Leia and have her be the one who restores the Jedi Order.

“No, there is another.” - Yoda, Empire Strikes Back

That is what happens in Lucas’s Sequel Trilogy. Disney didn’t use George Lucas’ storyline, but they did use certain plot points from it. Context matters of course. The following is a list of things that Lucas had created in his Sequel Trilogy that Disney pilfered from Lucas’s Story Treatments.

Please note while core points are confirm-able, some speculation of extrapolation  from various sources is included. I tend to think it’s fairly reliable, but I cannot swear to every detail.

* There was only one Grandchild of Anikan Skywalker ever born. Ben Solo. He was a student at Luke’s Jedi Temple, he did turn to the Darkside and slay some or all of the other students and set fire to the Jedi Temple before fleeing.

..

"The Son falling to the Darkside was always in the mix, the movies just ended up having it as an already established fact."

~ Pablo Hidalgo, The Tweets of San Francisco: A QM Production, 2018

https://ibb.co/9WXZZQQ

..

' Question - "How many students were at Luke's' academy'? Was ot even an 'academy'? "We'd likely never use that term. That's very 'EU', not very George. It'd be a temple. As for numbers, can't say now." ~ Pablo Hidalgo 2016

..

* Han and Leia had been separated for about 5 years, but they were drawing closer again.

* Ben Solo does kill Han Solo in Episode 8. We don’t know how. Lucas wrote this into the story line because he knew that Harrison Ford wanted that. He just asked him to wait til Episode 8 for it. Harrison Ford was fine with that.

* Chewbacca never had a moon fall on his head. He was very much alive.

* There was no New Jedi Order.

* Luke did go into something of a self-exile and he did live on an island, he was in a ‘bad place’ [Not Darkside] , he did think he failed and he was despondent and didn’t want to try and train New Jedi again. He was not ‘disillusioned’ about the Jedi. He didn’t actually want them to end. He just was afraid of creating more Vader’s and Ben Solos because he never felt confident because of his own limited training and failing. - He was not hiding persay, but he did want to be left alone more or less - We also don’t have time frames. We don’t know how long he was on the island. - Once again, different story lines in terms of context.

"But anyway Luke in exile predates TLJ by a long time and came from someone who can very happily and rightly supersede anyone's feedback :)" ~ Pablo Hidalgo https://ibb.co/sKZnWKk

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"Luke was training a new generation of Jedi, it all went wrong because of 1 boy, and he's the 'Jedi killer' - that's the source [the source being George Lucas sequel trilogy treatments he made in 2011 and ended up selling to Disney later]. ~ Pablo Hidalgo, 2016 https://ibb.co/JjYtGtf

* At a certain point Luke realizes there is something wrong with the Force.It feels ‘sick’. He knows something is very very wrong and that it would have dire consequences if it couldn’t be stopped. He spent a great amount of time communing with the Force, desperate to find the answer to what is ailing it before it is too late. Because the Force is getting worse and worse, Luke communing with it as much as he does effects him as well. [The Whills are feeding on the Force]. He knows it will probably end up killing him because he doesn’t care what happens to him just as long as he can find the answer and hopefully how the threat can be overcome.

* It is believed at a certain point in Episode 9 he does find the answer. He tells the gang what needs to be done because he was far too weak and was dying and nothing could stop it. He put on a brave face. Leia leads the group to the ‘final battle’. Luke dies while they’re gone. His communing with the Force saves the Galaxy from the Whills by finding the answer to how to stop them. A heroic death befitting of Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master. [we have no idea how these things play out, what needs to be done, etc.]

* Luke did train and young girl. Her name was Kira. She was from Jakku and a tinkerer. We don’t know much about her, only that her training was never completed and she wasn’t a “Mary Sue”. Luke actually trained her.

* Luke does train Leia to become a Jedi. She becomes a full Jedi Knight towards the end of Episode 9.

* There is a scene that does take place in the Ruins of the Second Death Star [which is underwater]  in Emperor Palpatines Old Throne Room. The Emperor is as dead as a door nail. The Redeemed Anakin Skywalkwer’s sacrifice was not in vain.

  Princess Leia, fully trained by The Last Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker, becomes The Last Jedi Knight in Episode 9. “The Other” - It than falls to Leia to restore the Jedi Order, which if the speculation is true, is what Mark Hamill wanted.

 What I wish is that [Disney] had been more accepting of [George Lucas]’guidance and advice. Because he had an outline for ‘7’, '8’ and '9’. And it is vastly different to what they have done.

— Mark Hamill, 2017

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Mark Hamill quotes about Lucas Sequel Trilogy -

"George had an overall arc – if he didn't have all the details, he had sort of an overall feel for where the [sequel trilogy was] going – but this one's more like a relay race. You run and hand the torch off to the next guy, he picks it up and goes.

"I happen to know that George didn't kill Luke until the end of [Episode] 9, after he trained Leia. Which is another thread that was never played upon [in The Last Jedi]."

where Lucas would have taken the second set of prequels. Though Leia and Luke communicate telepathically, fans have never really seen her use the Force. Mark Hamill had this to say about Leia using the Force in George Lucas' original writings.

   "This is always something that interest me because we can communicate telepathically and I tell her in one of the movies, I guess the third one, you have that power too. So I always wondered, and I don't read the fan-fiction [The Expanded Universe] , why she wouldn't fully develop her Force sensibilities and I think that's something George Lucas addressed in his original outline for 7, 8, 9. I was talking to him last week, but they're not following George's ideas so we'll have to wait and see on that one. But it seems like a waste of an innate talent that she should utilize in some way."

https://movieweb.com/star-wars-leia-originally-used-force-george-lucas/

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"...Knowing that the film was made for a young audience, I was trying to say,in a simple way, that there is a God and that there is both a good side and a bad side. You have a choice between them, but the world works better if you're on the good side."

~ George Lucas

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“Friendships, honestly, trust, doing the right thing, living on the right side and avoiding the dark side,” Lucas said. “Those are the things it was meant to do.”

~ Lucas on Star Wars and what its about, 2017

https://www.polygon.com/2017/4/13/15288998/george-lucas-star-wars-celebration

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"The message of the Star Wars films is pretty classic. There’s good and evil and the hero’s journey, his quest."

~ George Lucas, May 2020

"Right or wrong this is my movie, this is my decision, and this is my creative vision, and if people don't like it, they don't have to see it."

~ George Lucas

An interviewer said to Lucas after he said he would be too old to complete the third trilogy:

"Do you know how many fans would be willing to feed you Cream of Wheat and wheel you around in your chair if you did [intend to complete the third trilogy]?"

"Everybody said to drop the stuff about the midichlorians, it makes it too confusing. But it’s a metaphor for a symbiotic relationship that allows life to exist. Everybody said it was going to be a giant turkey: “This isn’t going to help LucasFilm at all.” I said, “This is about the movie and the company is just going to have to deal with whatever happens.” That’s one of the reasons why there was so much hype on the first prequel: Everybody was terrified."

~ George Lucas, Rolling Stone Magazine, 2005

“The ones that I sold to Disney, they came up to the decision that they didn’t really want to do those. So they made up their own. So it’s not the ones that I originally wrote.”

~ Lucas on his sequel trilogy

"The Force has two sides - [Light and Dark]. It is not an inherently malevolent or a benevolent thing. It has a bad side to it, involving hate and fear, and it has a good side, involving love, charity, fairness and Hope."

~ George Lucas

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