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hacawijo · 3 years

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Alright, If We’re Gonna Play with Az’s Bonus Chapter, Let’s PLAY with Az’s Bonus Chapter (Pt. 1)

I’m going to do a close reading of this bonus chapter, because this whole thing is stressing me out and I want to write out what I think I know what I definitely know and what I’m worried about. Here. We. Go.

I’m not going to directly quote supporting info in this post, but I will be using a LOT of quotes in the next few weeks, so if anyone wants me to confirm a certain statement I’m making here just let me know and I’ll drop the receipts :)

Also this is super long but I had a lot of thoughts I’m excited about! My commentary is in bold italics!

The river house had finally fallen quiet after the raucous Winter Solstice party, the faelights dimming to cast little pools of gold amid the deep shadow here is an example of contrast between light and dark, which many have made salient points on regarding the counterbalance of Elain/Azriel and their relationship of the longest night of the year.

Amren, Mor, and Varian had finally gone to bed, but Azriel found himself lingering downstairs.

He knew he should get some sleep. He’d need it come dawn, for the snowball battle up at the cabin. Cassian had mentioned no less than six times tonight that he had a secret plan regarding his so-called impending victory. Az had let his brother boast. Especially since Azriel had been planning his own victory for a year now. Had been planning his own victory for a year now, and had one the past 199 years’ worth of fights.

Cassian wouldn’t know what was coming for him. And Az fully planned on capitalizing on the fact that Nesta likely wouldn’t let Cassian sleep much tonight.

Az snickered to himself, to the listening shadows around him. Note the differentiation between himself and the shadows around him - he snickers to them outside of himself, as they are not HIM, they are his companions.

Sleep, they seemed to whisper in his ear. Sleep.

I wish I could, he answered silently. But sleep so rarely found him these days. Again, engaging in a conversation with them. Though he does say that they SEEMED to whisper sleep, which is interesting. He seems to communicate with them beyond worded language, this is a case where he’s translating whatever that communication is into words.

Too many razor-sharp thoughts sliced him any time he grew still long enough for them to strike Yeah this guy needs some therapy for sure, love him but this feels very much like the state of avoidance that Nesta found herself in. Too many wants and needs left his skin overheated and pulling taut across his bones. so he slept only when his body gave out, and even then only for a few hours. This feels very much like an extreme, one that certainly didn’t exist all of the time with Mor (otherwise he’s truly not been sleeping for…ever). I have a very, very hard time believing he would have this reaction because of lust or a coveting kind of obsession.

Azriel surveyed the empty family room, presents and ribbons littering the furniture. Cassian and Nesta hadn’t reappeared downstairs, though that came as no surprise. He was elated for his brother, and yet...

Azriel couldn’t stop it. The envy in his chest. Of Cassian, and Rhys. This is almost exactly the sentiment expressed by Cassian in ACOFAS/ACOSF

He knew he’d be swallowed by it if he went up to his bedroom, so he’d remained down here by the dying light of the fire.

But even the silence weighed too heavily, and though the shadows kept him company, as they always had, as they always would, he found himself leaving the room. Entering the foyer. Entering the foyer for what? Entering in order to go to bed? Or was he drawn there, somehow knowing Elain would be there? I really don’t know the answer and I don’t have a preference as to whether or not they are mates, but it’s worth thinking about. Also important to note that the SHADOWS ARE NOT ENOUGH FOR AZRIEL. They are his friends, an important coping mechanism, but they are not the sum of who he is, nor do they even represent the part of himself that is most realized or fulfilled.

Soft steps padded from under the stair archway, and there she was.

The faelights gilded Elain’s unbound hair, making her glow like the sun at dawn. She halted, her breath catching in her throat. Again, imagery to highlight a contrast between the two of them, Elain as the sun at dawn. Note that it’s talking about dawn, not day. SJM has repeatedly used language about Summer, Dawn, Spring and such to describe Elain, which makes me wonder if her light is meant to transcend the courts - in the same way that the shadows are not the sum of Azriel, the sun (the Day, the Dawn, Spring, Summer etc.) is not the sum of Elain.

“I...” He watched her swallow. She clutched a small gift in her hands. “I was coming to leave this on your pile of presents. I forgot to give it to you earlier.” One thing I noticed on closer examination, she went downstairs to leave it in his pile, not to see him. I wonder if it hurts her to be around HIM as well. Elain has said several times in this book (either on the page or in second- or third-hand account) that she is committed to this court, and I wonder if that same commitment that had her going to the Hewn City is what also has prevented her from ending things with Lucien. It’s not in her nature to be disingenuous, and so she cannot fake certain feelings for him, but it IS in her nature to be selfless, and she probably understands what their mating bond means and how important Lucien’s alliance is. I wonder also if she is unsure as to Azriel’s feelings or if she knows somehow, as Azriel sort of implies she might below.

Lie. Well, the second part was a lie. He didn’t need his shadows to read her tone, the slight tightening of her face. She’d waited until everyone was asleep before venturing down, where she’d leave her gift amongst his other, opened presents, subtle and unnoticed. This is another instance in which Azriel sees her when no one else does, even when she’s not intending or someone to see her. Also, of course, important to note that he can read her without his shadows - a crutch that he uses in interactions with many other people.

Elain closed the distance, and her breathing quickened as she again paused, now a scant foot away. She extended the wrapped gift, her hand shaking. “Here.” Elain makes ALL the moves in this scene - she approaches him, she asks him to put the necklace on her, she leans in, she says yes etc. etc. I think Azriel is actually very respectful and restrained throughout this whole interaction.

Az tried not to look at his scarred fingers as they took the gift. Azriel is ashamed of his scars, and is ashamed of them with Feyre and Mor as well as Elain, this is an across-the-board part of his characterization. She hadn’t bought her mate a present. But she’d gotten Azriel one last year — a headache powder he kept on his nightstand at the House of Wind The headache powder: proof that Elain has been seeing him - specifically seeing him rub his temples. Not to use, but to look at. Which he’d done every night he’d slept there. Or attempted to sleep there.

Azriel unwrapped the box, glancing at the card that merely said, You might find these useful at the House these days, and then opened the lid. Elain is not a casual person, she can’t even handle it when Feyre (her sister) tries to talk to her and Nesta (her other sister) privately about High Fae menstruation. For every lack of flourish or formality that Elain gives Azriel, that is another measured degree of comfort she feels with him - she wouldn’t give an unsigned, familiar note to just anyone.

Two small, bean-shaped fabric blobs lay within. Elain murmured, “You put them in your ears, and they block any sound. With Nesta and Cassian living there with you...”

He chuckled, unable to suppress the impulse. “No wonder you didn’t want me to open it in front of everyone.”

Elain’s mouth twitched into a smile. “Nesta wouldn’t appreciate the joke.” Elain and Azriel have similar senses of humor. Not necessarily in content, but in the way it sort of crops up off-the-cuff and sometimes unnoticed. I like that Elain makes him laugh.

He offered a smile back. “I wasn’t sure if I should give you your present.”

He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn’t stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much.

Elain’s large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days. Alright so, this is really curious. Does this mean that they both seem to be aware of the other’s feelings AND aware that the other is aware of their feelings? I really do wonder if, in this case, Az is an unreliable narrator- maybe assuming more certainty of Elain than she actually has. Again, I don’t think he would have such a visceral reaction to Elain and Lucien being in the same room (and not even close to each other at all) if he was just infatuated or in lust with her

But tonight, here in the dark and quiet more juxtaposition, with no one to see... no one to see, except the two of them, who always see more than others and who always see each other more than anyone else He pulled the small velvet box from the shadows around him. Opened it for her.

Elain sucked in a soft breath that whispered over his skin. His shadows skittered back at the sound. They’d always been prone to vanish when she was around. If Azriel is aware of the fact that his shadows disappear around Elain, and is still almost certainly in love with Elain, I think we can gather that it’s a positive thing for his shadows to give them privacy- which- btw, is what I think they are doing. The shadows feel to Azriel, to me, the way that the HoW feels to Nesta. The HoW doesn’t dislike Cassian, but also doesn’t need to be as diligent with Nesta when he’s around, because the House trusts Cassian with her.

The golden necklace seemed ordinary — it’s chain unremarkable, the amulet tiny enough that it could be dismissed as an everyday charm. It was a small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass, designed so that when held to the light, the truth depth of the colors would become visible. A thing of secret, lovely beauty. So I don’t think he’s saying that Elain is a thing here. I think he’s saying that HIS FEELINGS for her are a thing of secret, lovely beauty. It’s been made pretty clear that Elain’s physical AND inner beauty are decidedly visible and prominent. She is, the opposite of secret- though she is often described as lovely. I think what’s more interesting here is the time dedicated to describing this gift and the time dedicated to describing Lucien’s gift of pearl earrings (more on that later, but spoiler-alert, that’s the extent of the description)

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, lifting it from the box. The golden faelight shone through the little glass facets this word choice is notable because it’s an indication of layers and depth and different sides, setting the charm glowing with hues of red and pink and white. Azriel let his shadows he let them do it, again the way he interacts with his shadows does not make it seem like they ARE him. It would probably say “Azriel’s shadows whisked away the box” or “Azriel used his shadows to…” etc. whisk away the box as she said softly, “Put it on me?” Again, Elain is driving the action

His head went quiet. But he took the necklace, opening the clasp as she exposed her back sweeping her hair up in one hand to bare her long, creamy neck. That this situation is described in such slow, delicate detail evokes a sense of intimacy and gravity to the reader. Every tiny piece of this little bite of interaction means something to Azriel and probably to Elain.

He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her. Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin this word choice is admittedly a little strange, but the use of this and later of the word sacrilege is FAR from the first time SJM uses religiously-coded language to describe a romantic/sexual/intimate situation. In this very book, Cassian describes his sex with Nesta “as close to a religious experience” as he’d ever gotten - furthermore, there is often talk of the worship of bodies. More on this in another post! ALSO, of course he thinks about touching her in relation to himself. He is himself, for one thing, for another, one of the most reinforced aspects of Azriel’s character that has been made clear to us as readers is his belief that he is unworthy. This comes up not at all just with Elain, it comes up everywhere. It comes up when Azriel volunteers for the most dangerous assignments, it comes up with Mor A LOT, it comes up with Rhys and Cassian. I HAVE A LOT MORE TO SAY ABOUT AZRIEL SO I JUST NEED TO STOP TYPING RIGHT N. Letting them brush the side of her throat, savoring the velvet-soft texture. Elain shivered that’s hot and he took a damn long time fastening the clasp.

Azriel’s fingers lingered at her nape, atop the first knob of her spine SUCH precise language, so agonizing. Slowly, Elain pivoted into his touch. Until his palm lay flat against her neck.

It had never gone this far. They’d exchanged looks, the occasional brush of their fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching. Another important line in reiterating the fact that there are two people participating in this interaction and the broader relationship, with the use of ‘exchanged’ and ‘their.’ It could easily also say something like, “Azriel had never gone this far. She’d sometimes caught him looking at her and he her, and every so often he’d taken the risk of brushing his fingers against hers.” Elain’s agency in these interactions and this relationship is SO IMPORTANT! It is the difference between Az viewing Elain as a two-dimensional and unattainable figure and as a real person with wants and needs.

Wrong — it was so wrong. Azriel knows, just as well as Rhys, what is at stake in Elain’s relationship with Lucien. He also has reverence for the mating bond in the same way that many other fae and faeries do. Of course he thinks it’s wrong!

He didn’t care.

He needed to know what the skin of her neck tasted like. What those perfect lips tasted like. Her breasts. Her sex. He needed her coming on his tongue — There is literally so much talk in Feysand and Nessian of tasting and eating out. Both Rhys and Cassian make it very clear that they spent a lot of time thinking about what their partners would taste like and how they might go about finding out for sure.

Azriel’s cock strained behind his pants, aching so fiercely he could hardly think. He prayed she didn’t peer down. Prayed she didn’t understand the shift in his scent.

He had only allowed himself these thoughts in the dead of night. Because he knows it’s a fool’s hope. He never thinks about this as a viable path! Had only allowed his hand to fist his cock and think about her then, when even his shadows had gone to sleep again a recognition of the separation between him and his shadows. How that beautiful face might appear as he entered her, what sounds she’d make. See above: Nessian and Feysand are just as dirty and graphic (especially Nessian) and Rhys and Cassian are JUST AS WORSHIPFUL of their partners.

Elain bit her lower lip, and it took every ounce Azriel’s restraint to keep from putting his own teeth there.

“I should go,” Elain said, but made no move to leave. Again, they are BOTH cognizant, I think, of the risks and dynamics at play here.

“Yes,” he said, his thumb sweeping in long strokes along the side of her throat.

Her arousal drifted up to him, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the sweet scent. He’d beg on his knees for a chance to taste it Rhys’s WHOLE THING is that he kneels before Feyre in reverence. But Azriel just stroked her neck again. SJM repeatedly uses the scent of arousal as a way to confirm sexual interest beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Elain shuddered, drifting closer. So close one deep breath would brush her breasts against his chest. She looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars. I personally think this is Azriel being self-deprecating. I think that Elain is a seer, and probably has some idea of what Azriel does. Does this mean he puts her on a pedestal or that he views her as pure? It’s possible, but I think Azriel views most people whom he loves as pure compared to himself in one way or another— even Cassian. There is a line I’ll cite eventually where Rhys muses on the similarities between himself and Azriel, since Rhys is the only person Azriel allows to see the full scope of his rage. Ditto with the pedestal.

Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege same story as my point above on the word immaculate, but again I do totally admit that it’s a strange word. I just think that we have had so little of Azriel’s perspective that we can’t really say whether this is a perversion of his connection to Elain or if this is a regular sort of attitude for him for his fingers to touch her skin, tainting her with his presence.

But he could have this. This one moment, and maybe a taste, and that would be it. AND THAT WOULD BE IT. HE DOESN’T THINK IT WILL GO FURTHER!

“Yes,” Elain breathed, like she read the decision. You fucking go Elain get that ass Just this taste in the dead of the longest night of the year, where only the Mother interesting choice of words given Nesta’s association with the Mother and Nesta’s apparent tacit acceptance of Azriel’s feelings for Elain (more on that later) might witness them.

Azriel’s hand slid up her neck, burying in her thick hair. Tilting her face the way he wanted it. Elain’s mouth parted slightly, her eyes scanning his before flirting shut.

Offer and permission. OFFER AND PERMISSION. ELAIN WANTS THE SHADOWSINGER D!!!!!

He nearly groaned with relief and need as he lowered his head toward hers.

Azriel. And suddenly, the one time they both are comfortable with how they’re being seen (that Azriel is being seen by no one else BUT Elain, that Elain is finally being seen intimately, by someone, in the dark, namely, AZRIEL)

Rhys’s voice thundered through him, halting him mere inches from Elain’s sweet mouth.

Azriel. So if you were to ask me what the biggest sign of Elriel’s longevity in this chapter is, it is this: that they did not kiss. SJM built a very tightly worded and wound tension around this moment with her language, and. the fact that it is not fulfilled is frustrating, right? We know that he touched the knob of her spine - we know that she shivered. For that level of intimacy not to end in a kiss, means something. Rhys could easily have interrupted them after their lips had already touched, and if this relationship were a device serving another, that’s what would have happened.

SJM knows that the tension is built and unfulfilled, and I think she also knows that this wouldn’t have been the right time for them to have their first kiss - which is what I think many readers have noticed in so many words. Where my thoughts differ is that I think SJM is walking a line between romantically coding the moment AND acknowledging that this moment is not ideal, and that it doesn’t deserve to be fulfilled satisfyingly, especially given Azriel’s self-loathing. MORE LATER :) Which should maybe be my catchphrase.

Also, them not kissing can’t just be about the fact that it’s a bonus chapter. You can’t make that argument about their not-kiss and then argue that the interaction with Gwyn is essential to the coming story. Which, I think it is significant, by the way, I’m just not sure how yet :P

Unrelenting command filled his name, and Azriel looked up. Rhysand stood atop the staircase. Glowering down at them.

My office. Now.

Rhys vanished, and Azriel was left standing before Elain, who still awaited his kiss. His stomach twisted as he pulled his hand away from her hair and stepped back. Forced himself to say, “This was a mistake.” UGH. The capital P Pain.

She opened her eyes, hurt and confusion warring there before she whispered, “I’m sorry.” See, this reaction makes me think that she is not as aware of his feelings as he thinks she is. That she later returns the necklace (or did she?) reinforces this. I think that if she was certain how he felt about her, she would be frustrated and maybe angry in the way that she has responded to Feyre’s comments about her mating bond with Lucien, not hurt and confused.

“You don’t — Don’t apologize,” he managed to say. “Never apologize. It’s I who should...” He shook his head, unable to stand the bleakness he’d brought to her expression. “Goodnight.” But at least it definitely confirms her feelings to Azriel.

PART II IS BEING POSTED BACK-TO-BACK!

#acosf #azriel bonus chapter #azriel shadowsinger #elriel #elain archeron #rhysand #gwyn acosf #acotar #acotar theory #feyre archeron #close reading #line by line #evidence #nessian #lightsinger #elain x azriel #shadowsinger

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gwynrielsupremacy · 3 years

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Gwynriel headcanon: Solstice, a meaningful gift and a dream

Get ready for Gigi's long introduction: *sighs* I should be writing my WIP, but here I am. I had this idea last night at 3am and wrote it down until 4h30, saved it in my drafts and fell asleep thinking about it. I wanna thank aaaall gwynriel content creators that wrote some beautiful stories and ideas during these last couple months, for they directly and indirectly inspire my work. You are all awesome!

On a more serious note, I don't know what I would do if I hadn't kept photos of my loved ones who have passed away. Sometimes, looking at them and remembering all those moments is the most heart-warming yet painful feeling; all part of grieving, I assume. Alongside with dreams. Dreaming is also a tricky matter; I feel closer to them somehow, yet it hurts to wake up and realize life isn't the same anymore, for they are gone. These are things I take comfort in and am glad to have it, and at the same time it gives me a longing nostalgic feeling known to Brazilians as "saudade". So, without further ado:

This is Gwyn's first official Solstice with the Inner Circle; which means, the first time she actually felt brave and ready enough to go. Everyone had been so kind with her, including Azriel, who made sure she felt as comfortable as she could among his family;

It's gifting time! She is so excited for this particular part since she made a huge effort on getting presents suited for everyone (and that includes everyone; Lucien, Amren, Varian and all), with a little help from Azriel whenever she needed;

But it is the receiving that surprises her. Nesta, Emerie and Azriel were always the ones to gift her; she wasn't counting on anyone else thinking of her like that. So, when Rhys gifts her an amazing book called "The Secret Language of Stars", she is so happy and thrilled the whole room kind of lights up with her;

The most wholesome gift she receives, though, got to be Feyre's; it's a small and flat package, about the size of a book. She quietly opens it, thinking it could be a two-part present, but she was wrong; It was Catrin.

Well, a portrait of Catrin. She was looking back, beaming, with those blue eyes and onyx hair shining under the sunlight and her webbed fingers stretched, as if trying to reach Gwyn across the painting. It was a mental image Gwyn had sent Feyre one day, when she was curious about daemati powers; Feyre had asked her to summon a moment of joy, and that was the first that popped into her mind. Warm, blissful days she and Catrin would hang out in the gardens of the temple, near a small lake. The moments she held on to, when the pain of it all became too much;

It is as if something opened inside of Gwyn; she immediately starts crying, silent streams of tears falling down her face as she covers her mouth with her hand to contain her sobs. But she was smiling. She couldn't stop smiling, even if the whole room now looked at her, Azriel quietly sitting by her side, his shadows soothingly hovering around her;

She feels the urge to say something, but as she moves her hand to lightly brush across the portrait, caressing it in a way, all she can think of is her sister. There she was.

"I thought I'd never see her again." It is all she can muster. Her voice cracks, she is quietly sobbing, but her smile is still there;

She lifts her eyes to meet with Feyre's attentive ones, a soft smile that matched her own. To hell with ceremonials, Gwyn thinks. So she jumps out of the couch and crosses the room in a few strides, hugging her High Lady. When they part, she looks into Feyre's eyes, and pours her heart and emotions when she speaks: "Thank you."

Feyre grabs her hand and squeezes it once, with a mirrored emotion in her own voice: "Any time, Gwyn."

Later that night, Gwyn collapses on Azriel's bed; tired, emotive, but happy, hugging her sister's portrait near her chest until she falls asleep. It is now the most precious thing she owns;

Azriel lays down next to her and tugs a strand of her hair behind her ear, observing her soft features and feeling his heart burst with such love and devotion he never thought possible. He feels like he finally understands his brothers now.

-----

Azriel stood by a lake.

A shining silver pool of a lake, with it's crystalline waters glimmering like stars. It was warm, the spring breeze rustling with his hair, and he couldn't quite perceive where he was.

There was a girl by the lake, sitting with her feet on the water, back facing him. Her long onyx hair fell to her hips, shining under the sunlight.

His feet moved unconsciously until he was near her, and he took a place beside her.

Her voice was like the wind when she spoke:

"I was wondering when you would come by."

It was strange, he thought. He felt like he knew her. She talked like she knew him.

And, for some reason, he wasn't confused at all.

"I am glad you're here", he found himself saying.

It was easy talking to her. Like a long time partner. A trusted confidant.

She hadn't faced him; instead, her focus was on a distant point over the lake. Her blue eyes shone; those familiar blue eyes almost the same as the ones he now called his home.

"I am glad to be here too. To see her happy."

He joined her and followed her gaze to the distant figure in the lake. Her long coppery hair wet as she dove in and out, laughing blissfully at the skies as if they were her best friends; as if she was last person on the planet, with the nature as her only companion, in perfect oblivion.

When the female turned to him again, blue waves met hazel ones. Those ageless eyes and soft smile fading in a haze; Azriel found himself smiling back.

"Do me a favor, will you? Make sure I'll hear that laugh again. I always found it contagious, and she knew it."

"Catrin" He called as her image faded away. "Please don't go."

"What are you talking about?" She chuckled, and her tone was gentle and genuine as she placed a phantom hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently with her webbed fingers. "I have never left."

-----

Azriel wakes up, and faces the female before him. Still sound asleep, her coppery hair like molten fire against the morning sunlight. He lazily moves closer, and she shifts in her sleep, unconsciously enlacing his torso with her arm, Catrin's portrait still on her grip. He carefully removes it from her hand, scared to damage it somehow, and stretches to place it in her nightstand. As he shifts back into his side of the bed, he looks at it and lets a silent chuckle, eyes filled with understanding and a silent comradery: "It was nice to meet you, Catrin."

He gives her a quiet salute and drifts off to slumber once again, thinking about spring breeze, Gwyneth Berdara in his arms and the silent lifetime promise he made to someone she deeply loved; of ensuring that beautiful laughter would be heard again, and again, and again.

#gwynriel #catrin berdara #gwyneth berdara #gwynriel headcanon #this is kinda sad #but beautiful sad #come cry with me #lets cry lets cry away #pls tell me what you think your opinion matters #azriel x gwyn

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ncssian · 3 years

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just another graceless night

merry christmas 🎄here's my secret snowflake gift for the lovely sayo @sayosdreams. if u didn't guess it already, surprise! i hope u like it <3

a/n: this is part of my series of crescent city aus found in my masterlist, and is sort of a continuation to family therapy. you don’t need to have read family therapy to understand this fic, but it helps!

summary: it's nesta's birthday, and her loved ones have special plans for her (that may or may not go awry). featuring nessian and nesta/lucien friendship.

The ring caught the late morning light as Cassian twisted it over and over in his hands: a gold band studded with two pearls and an oval pink diamond at the center.

It was nothing like the female he wanted to give it to, and yet it was perfect for her. Because Nesta Archeron, despite all her walls and best efforts, was inside as warm as daylight. Or at least she was to Cassian.

The familiar beep of the security system sounded as someone unlocked the apartment door, and Cassian stood up quickly from the kitchen barstool. By the time the Archeron sisters entered, the ring was shoved deep in his pocket.

He affected a huge smile, though it may have been tinged with a hint of panic. “Back already?”

“Did you miss me too much?” Nesta padded over to the open-plan kitchen and dropped a paper bag of leftovers on the island next to Cassian. “I brought you macarons.”

He murmured his thanks into a soft greeting kiss.

Feyre and Elain remained in the living room, setting gift bags onto the coffee table. “We should probably get going,” Elain smiled and clapped her hands. “If only I could see more of my own sister on her birthday, but I suppose fancy breakfast and gifts will have to do.”

Nesta scowled at her younger sisters. “I told you both you could come with me tonight. I don’t care if you’re around my friends, really.”

Feyre made a face. “No, thanks. Not that your friends scare me or anything, but I have a hot date this evening.” She flushed at the idea of her boyfriend and Elain held back an eye roll. “I don’t,” Elain stated, “but I’m taking the night to myself. Don’t worry about us, go get wrecked tonight.”

“If you insist.” Nesta moved in for a goodbye hug, something Cassian knew she still had to force herself to initiate with her family. A chorus of happy birthdays and goodbyes went around, and then the sisters were pulling apart. Cassian watched contently from the threshold between the kitchen and living room, and straightened up once Feyre and Elain were gone and Nesta was turning back to him.

She pulled slowly at one of the small ties on the neckline of her blouse, letting it come undone. “So,” she said slowly. “It’s my birthday.”

Cassian was well-aware. He’d woken up an hour early this morning to show Nesta, slowly and thoroughly, just how glad he was that she’d been born. He wasn’t so lazy that he considered orgasms birthday presents, though, so he raised his brows at Nesta starting to undress in their living room.

“You want a repeat of this morning already? If I’m being honest, I thought there would be more variety on your birthday agenda.”

Nesta’s smile dropped at the same time her shirt dropped to the ground. “Don’t delude yourself, angel. I’m getting ready to change into my sweats so we can marathon Fangs and Bangs all day.” To prove her point, her jeans fell to the ground next, and she kicked them away before spinning around to head for their bedroom.

Cassian picked her clothes up and followed after her. “Wear whatever you want, sweetheart, but put a pin in that marathon plan.”

Nesta glanced at him with a frown. “Why?”

She didn’t actually think that Cassian hadn’t planned anything for her, did she? He huffed a laugh and chucked her clothes into a hamper. “I’m not going to be seeing you all night, which means,” he flicked her nose, “I have to give you my present now.”

Getting put on patrol duties the same night of Nesta’s birthday was not ideal, but if anything, it ensured that Cassian couldn’t chicken out of his plan at the last minute. The ring sat heavy in his pocket, and he would give it to her this afternoon no matter what.

Nesta glared at him, but it was halfhearted. “I told you not to get me anything,” she said. “There’s nothing I want today except spending time with you.”

“We are spending time together,” he promised. “Just not here.”

“Then where?”

***

Their destination was beyond the borders of the city, too far for Cassian to fly them. Their motorcycle ended up rumbling to a stop some hours later at the edges of a great sunflower field.

Nesta pulled off her helmet and stared in rare wonder. Yellow and green stalks spread out in every direction, touching the horizon and going on.

She turned to Cassian, a softness in her eyes that only he ever got to see. “I’ve never seen this place before.”

“Because you haven’t wandered more than twenty miles outside of the city in years,” he ribbed.

He led her to a clear space among the flowers that was laid down with a checkered picnic blanket and spread of food. Nesta glanced at Cassian, questioning.

“This field is private property,” he explained, “but I called in a favor ahead of time.”

Over a year of dating Cassian had taught Nesta how to be more familiar with sweet gestures and moments of vulnerability, but she still lacked the words to properly respond to this.

“It's very— thank you.” She cleared her throat.

Cassian only grinned and flicked her nose, a careless gesture that told her he understood how she was feeling without her having to say it.

Their lunch date was warm and full of light, two feelings that Nesta had been a foreigner to before meeting Cassian. She’d used to think she would never be fit for soft or pretty things, but here, eating strawberries in a sundress, she felt this was as pretty as life was ever going to get.

Not long after eating, Cassian’s hand found the back of Nesta’s calf, dragging up her bare leg and pulling until she was on her back, his hulking body stretched over her. Gasping for breath between laughter, Nesta succumbed to a barrage of kisses that soon moved lower, until her giggles turned into light moans.

“I love you, you know,” he whispered from between her legs.

A bright blue sky dotted with a few wispy clouds was her view while Cassian tortured her with his mouth, and her last thought before her eyes slipped shut and she slipped into release was How perfect.

***

In a shimmery dress layered with swaying fringe, Nesta picked through the dancing bodies of Vanir and mortals alike to get to the private area off to the back of The Seven Devils club.

Nesta had made the mistake of falling asleep in Cassian’s arms after their afternoon delight, and had woken up to the sky turning ablaze with the colors of the sunset and her phone buzzing insistently.

“What are you doing,” Amren demanded when she answered. “It takes you two hours to get ready and you’re an hour away from home. Did you forget we had plans tonight?”

“Shit— wait, how do you know where I am?” Nesta said as she began grabbing for things and starting to pack, Cassian watching in alarm.

“I know where everyone is,” the mercenary said. “Get your ass back to Crescent City now.”

“Wait— we’re leaving?” Cassian had said after Nesta hung up the phone. Nesta kept packing their picnic basket, trying to hurry before it got dark.

“Thank you so much for today, angel,” she paused to say to him. Grabbing his face with both hands, she put her gratefulness into a sweet kiss and hoped it would be enough. “But we need to go. Now.”

Cassian’s hand drifted to his pocket. He looked conflicted, angry, even, but he only nodded and led Nesta back to their motorcycle.

Once they were about to part ways hours later, Cassian for his job and Nesta for her party, she’d apologized to him once more.

“It's nothing,” he assured as he smoothed down her stray baby hairs. “I just thought we'd get more time together.” He leaned in to kiss her cheek with a smile. “But we already have lots of that, don't we?”

Now, at the black velvet rope tying off the reserved area, Emerie caught sight of Nesta and greeted her with a hoot. Nesta grinned.

“Over here, birthday girl.” A drink was shoved into Nesta’s hand as Emerie led her to the circle of couches where their friends awaited.

The usual group was there: Amren, Varian, Nuan, and some Aux guys she’d gotten to know while working for her firm. But a new face made her smile drop.

“Lucien,” Nesta said stiffly. She plopped down next to him on the couch, but pointedly ignored his mocking grin.

Elain had stayed home alone tonight just so Lucien and Nesta would have the chance to spend time on their own. Nesta still wasn't sure if she appreciated the gesture or not.

They had agreed, although reluctantly, that they would try to rekindle whatever they’d had in their teenage years. Lucien hadn’t participated in one of Nesta’s birthdays as anything other than Elain’s plus one in ages, and now… Nesta snorted to herself. It was like she was eighteen again.

“What’s so funny?” Lucien asked.

“Your face.”

A crumpled straw wrapper bounced off Lucien’s head before he could reach over and pinch Nesta. “No one's tackling anyone into the cake tonight, or else it's over for the both of you,” Amren warned. Her threats were mild, but both Nesta and Lucien knew enough about what Amren did for a living to shut up and go back to ignoring each other.

Music pounded, and while her friends chatted excitedly about meeting up after so long, Nesta eyed her drink in consideration. There was no amount of alcohol in the world that would ever get her to play nice with Lucien Vanserra, but maybe a few drinks wouldn't hurt.

She took a deep swig.

***

Nesta and Lucien drunkenly stumbled out of the club, giggling while holding each other up.

“We should call a cab,” Nesta said.

“No— let's walk!” Lucien gasped. “It’s so nice out tonight.”

“Yes, yes,” Nesta nodded adamantly. “Good idea, you're so smart, Lucien.”

It was far past two in the morning, and the rest of Nesta's group had scattered like roaches over the course of the night. Many of them had left her with a big smacking kiss on her cheek and a final birthday wish; Amren had dragged Varian into a dark corner some while ago and hadn't been seen since.

Her pile of presents, most of the gifts being either wildly inappropriate or outright hilarious, had been whisked away with the help of fae magic back to her and Cassian’s apartment. She only hoped Cassian didn't return home before her and find them.

Nesta had forgotten how much fun partying with Lucien was like. They hadn't danced— or drank— together like that in years. And the huge stuffed dolphin he’d gifted her hadn't hurt. She hadn’t slept with one of those babies since she moved out of her childhood home, but he had remembered her favorite animal anyway.

Now, she leaned her head against his arm as they set off in a random direction, trying not to topple over in her high heels.

They made it only a couple of blocks before Nesta decided that fresh air was not as nice as Lucien had promised. With every breeze, a discomforting nausea grew, and the longer she walked, the more aware she was of the sharp pressure on her bladder.

“Lucien,” she finally whined, “I have to pee.”

“Hold it until we get home.”

Nesta blinked and for the first time, looked around at their surroundings. How many blocks had they walked again?

The buildings had become worn down and older, and neon lights flickered over dim alleyways. The trees that usually lined every sidewalk curb had virtually disappeared. Even while seeing double, Nesta knew something was off. “Luc,” she said slowly, “where are we?”

“Uhhh…” Brown eyes squinted up at the decaying buildings. He was drunk out of his mind. “We’re close to the Old Square, I swear.”

But Nesta recognized this area, even if she had no clue where they were exactly. “This isn’t the Old Square.” Her grip tightened on Lucien’s arm. “We’re in the Meat Market, Lucien.”

They were both quiet for a moment. Then Lucien said, “Oops.”

Oops was an understatement. They were on the other fucking side of town— the bad side of town. The shadows in the alleys had suddenly elongated, becoming darker as if they were hiding nefarious activities. The buildings seemed to stretch and curve, and it took Nesta a heartracing moment to realize that was just what alcohol did to her vision. There were no monstrous creatures, at least not this far out on the edges of the Meat Market. The crime-ridden district wasn't anything a straightminded Nesta would have ever feared, but in her current state—

“Ohh, now I’m really gonna be sick,” she muttered.

“I thought you had to pee?”

“I need to do both.” Gagging on bile, Nesta sprinted to the nearest bush to empty out the contents of her stomach. She just barely missed her dress and shoes with her aim, but she was no amateur. At least her hair had stayed in its ponytail.

“Gross,” Lucien mumbled from somewhere behind her.

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Nesta closed her eyes as her insides clenched once more. When she could breathe clearly again, she rasped, “Don't look.” She started wriggling her panties down her legs. In any other state, she would have felt bad for the lone bush, but now she was just grateful that this road was seemingly deserted.

Inebriated Lucien seemed to handle urine better than vomit, because he only crossed his arms and stood guard by Nesta while she did her business, as if he could protect her in case anyone walked by (he could not, but she thought it was sweet of him to try).

When she finished, Nesta was disappointed to find that she had not sobered up in the slightest. Clarity danced right on the edges of her grasp, but she was too exhausted to reach for it. Also, her feet were killing her.

Swaying, Lucien tugged on her hand and began pulling her along. “C’mon, we’ll call a ride home and find somewhere to wait.”

“Mm, good idea.”

Lucien pulled his phone out, and Nesta paused in the middle of the road to unstrap her shoes and kick them off. Gravel bit into her bare feet, and she shivered while Lucien sloppily tapped at his phone. She hadn't noticed the cold so much while she was still having fun, but suddenly it was freezing.

After a painfully long moment of silence, Lucien finally said, “Uhh… my phone’s dead.”

Nesta hissed, but was too tired to curse him. She wrangled her own phone out of her purse, hopping back and forth on her toes. The gravel almost hurt more than her shoes, and she was pretty sure the roads were littered with glass.

Turning her phone on, she made it all the way to Cassian’s contact info when she noticed the lack of bars on the corner of her screen. She clicked on his number anyway, hoping she could reach her boyfriend through whatever obstacles technology threw at her.

Of course, the call didn't go through. An animalistic noise escaped through her gritted teeth.

Lucien jumped in fright, his gaze still hazy and out of it. “What was that?”

“The sound I make when there's no fucking signal and we're both fucking lost.”

“Wha—? Gimme that.” Lucien sloppily swiped for her phone and missed, his hand passing through the air two feet in front of Nesta. Nesta ignored him and kept tapping at her phone, starting to walk in a random direction. “There has to be a signal somewhere,” she laughed somewhat high-pitched. “You can't have organized crime without a strong mobile network, right?”

After a few minutes, however, it became clear that whatever reception the drug lords and gang members were using, Nesta couldn't get it.

Hopelessness and bone deep exhaustion setting in, she started weeping, her shoulders shaking.

“Nooo,” Lucien slurred, trying to pull her up from where she crouched on the ground, her hands over her face. “Don't cry, Nesta, ’s’your birthday.”

“It’s not my birthday anymore,” Nesta sobbed. “It's the day after and we’re lost and we’re this close to getting mugged by a gang of vampires. And it's all because you have terrible ideas.” She cried harder.

“You’ve gotta get up.” Lucien tugged at her again, letting out a whiny grunt when she didn't move. “Why are you so heavy?”

Nesta wasn't moving because he was not, in fact, pulling at her very hard. Lucien was incredibly dizzy, though, and he wanted nothing but to be back home with Elain while he regained his senses.

As he was about to give up, a great boom sounded, and a dark hulking figure dropped down onto the street before them.

“AHH, A HUGE BIRD!” Lucien shrieked and stumbled backward into Nesta.

Another winged shadow dropped from the sky, landing beside the first.

“TWO HUGE BIRDS!”

Nesta blinked, finally looking up, only to shove Lucien off herself and drunkenly run forward. She hurled herself into the arms of the first figure. “Cassian!” she cried with relief.

“Are you okay?” Her boyfriend's voice was urgent. “How’d you get all the way out here?”

“We got lost,” she wept deliriously.

“Soso lost,” Lucien slurred from behind her.

Off to the side, she heard the familiar eternally-exhausted sigh of Azriel, second-in-command of the 33rd Imperial Legion. “I’ll take that one home,” his deep voice muttered. He gestured with his chin to Lucien.

He moved to hold the fae male upright, but Lucien smacked Azriel’s arms away. “Get your ’ands off me, Ihaveagirlfriend.”

Cassian bundled Nesta up in his arms and swept her off her aching feet. “Can you handle flying, or are you gonna be sick?”

“Uhnnn…” Her head was still throbbing and spinning, but her stomach had already been emptied out into those bushes. “I’m okay,” she lied. “Take me home, Cass.”

He still looked concerned, but was about to shoot into the sky when Nesta gasped, “Wait, my shoes!”

In the background, Lucien was now poking at the toned bicep of the arm keeping him upright. “Woah there, big guy,” he said. “You single or somethin’?”

“You just said you have a girlfriend.”

“Well, we're lookin’ foraboyfriend.”

Before Azriel could respond, Cassian gritted his teeth and called for him.

“Get her shoes,” Cassian gestured. Without letting go of Lucien, Azriel bent to pick up Nesta's heels and turned and walked the both of them back to where Cassian and Nesta waited.

Nesta gratefully accepted her heels and rested them on her stomach, so her hand was free to reach out and rest on Lucien’s face. It was more of a light slap, but the affection was there. “’m so glad we did this,” she said, sleep and liquor weaved through her words.

“So am I,” Lucien mumbled tiredly. He leaned in with a kiss aimed for her forehead, which ended up glancing off the side of her nose. “See you.”

“Bye-bye,” she said quietly, and then Lucien and Azriel were off in the opposite direction, and Cassian and Nesta were in the air.

***

Back in the warmth of their apartment, Cassian helped Nesta stumble toward the bedroom, pulling her away from the living area before she could collapse onto the couch and not get up again.

Herding Nesta onto the bed, Cassian got to work on shimmying her minidress down her body. “You’ve had quite the night,” he noted as he pulled off her dress and reached to unhook her pushup bra. “Good birthday?”

“Would’ve been even better with you,” Nesta said sweetly. His heart caught at the sleepy smile she gave him, and he cursed the ring weighing down his pocket for the hundredth time that day. He would have to wait for the right moment— again.

Nesta started babbling drunkenly about how fun her night had been, and then how terrible it had become, and how much more she liked Lucien now, even if he did have terrible ideas, before eventually circling back around to the topic of presents. “I can’t wait to show you what I got.” She tried winking at him, but in her state, it was just a very slow blink.

Cassian had indeed spied a red scrap of lace sticking out of a gift bag on his way through the living room, but lingerie was the last concern on his mind right now. “I’m glad you had fun with Lucien,” he said honestly as he eased Nesta into one of his T-shirts.

“Will you get me his gift?” she yawned. “It’s the soft…” she struggled for the word, “big fishy. Go get it, Cass.”

Chuckling lowly, Cassian dutifully searched the living room until he spotted a freakishly life-sized stuffed dolphin. When he returned to their bedroom with it in tow, Nesta was dead asleep.

Carefully, he tucked the plush dolphin next to her head before covering her with a throw blanket.

Yes, Cassian had ended up being the only person who hadn't given Nesta a present— not her real present, anyway. But perhaps it was for the best, he thought as he sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her sore feet into his lap. Nothing about the woman in front of him was worth rushing, and as long as she was happy tonight, tomorrow, and all the days after…

Well, what more could Cassian want for?

***

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @sensitiveillyrian @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool

#acotarsecretsnowflake #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #lucien vanserra #ncssianwrites #nessian fic

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rosereview · 3 years

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Top 9 Favourite MaasVerse Couples

I did a favourites list of couples in the Shadowhunter universe last year that was really fun so I thought I would do one with all of the couples from Sarah J. Maas’ universe, especially after reading A Court of Silver Flames (review coming soon). Because of all that and given that Sarah J. Maas never fails to be sneaky with which guy the main character ends up with in the end, this favourites list will be full of spoilers. So like before, the top couples all are couples that for sure end up together, while the honorable mentions are couples that I like or ones that I think would be good together or who I want to be together.

Honorable Mentions

To start off we have character couples that I love but don’t know enough about to be super invested.

Amren & Varian- from ACOTAR. I just think that they are so cute and I love Amren and I’m so happy that she has someone who is there for her. I also think Varian is an interesting character who is the perfect balance for Amren’s intensity, also at all the family gatherings with Varian there, he just feels like the typical come-home-for-christmas-with-a-guy boyfriend who the family gets to know, but also plays around with because he’s new (don’t know if that makes sense, but if you’ve ever had a sibling or cousin bring a partner home for the holidays to a joking-around type family then you’ll get it).

Kallias & Viviane- from ACOTAR. Also don’t know a lot about them, but for the few interactions we see of them, I think they are super cute! The other courts always intrigued me, but especially the Winter Court because I love snow and I also love how close Kallias, Viviane, Rhysand, and Morrigan are (especially Viviane and Mor). I just think it’s so nice that they have other friends in other courts, and again they just seem sweet.

Juniper Andromeda & Fury Axtar- from Crescent City. We only find out that they are a couple near the end, but from the few times we see them together, I think Juniper and Fury are adorable. Fury is just that super badass bitch that I love to see vulnerable in a couple. I just like seeing that badass girls can still have a very raw and human side, especially when they are with their significant other. Also Juniper was always a favourite minor character throughout the book because she’s such a good friend to Bryce. I can’t wait to see more of them as a couple in the next books!

Next I have people who I want to end up together:

Ruhn Danaan & Hypaxia Enador- from Crescent City. I thought Ruhn and the mediwitch had a great amount of chemistry, and when it was revealed that she was actually the young Queen Hypoxia of the witches, I was so excited! I feel like her and Ruhn will end up together, and because I love Ruhn and just want to see him happy, I think that the two of them as a couple would be great!

Morrigan & Emerie- from ACOTAR (more specifically ACOSF). When Emerie saw Mor in the latest book, I giggled so hard! I think the two of them would be adorable and it’s high time that Mor got a new love interest who will make her happy. (I also really want Emerie to be happy now that I’ve gotten to know her more as a character, and I do think the two of them would work really well together!)

Elain & Lucien // Azriel & Gwyneth- from ACOTAR. This next one I won’t talk a lot about because I’m saving it for the review for ACOSF, but just so you know what side of the debate I’m on, I really do think Lucien and Elain would be good together if Elain gave him a chance, and now since reading the special edition short story about Azriel at the end of ACOSF, I ship Azriel and Gwyn together. (Although I’ll honestly be happy with whoever ends up together as long as all the characters are happy!)

Nyx & Unborn Child of Rowaelin- from ACOTAR and Throne of Glass. I saw this post one day of someone shipping Nyx (Rhys and Feyre’s son), and the unborn daughter of Rowan and Aelin, I fangirled so hard! No matter if Rowan and Aelin have a girl or boy first, I already ship them so hard with Nyx. We already know that Nyx would have been born during the time of the war at the end of Kingdom of Ash (because Aelin fell through the worlds and saw pregnant Feyre and Rhys standing during Winter Solstice) so if Aelin and Rowan had a child not long after, they would be close to the same age, and because of that moving between worlds moment, we know that’s it’s possible for the two kids to meet one day. (Also I have a theory that what happens in the Crescent City books will tie into the possibility of world jumping because it’s already talked about in there how most species in Crescent City came from different worlds, so yay!) I know that this is all just wishful thinking, but I think that would be the cutest thing Nyx being together with Rowaelin’s child! Let me believe what I want to.

9. Nesryn Faliq & Sartaq

This list was so hard to make and I’m sad that these two are so low on it, but I just couldn’t get them any higher! At any rate, I loved these two during Tower of Dawn and when they ended up together I was ecstatic! First of all, I think Sartaq would be an amazing Khagan of the Southern Continent and he’s honestly the only real good one of his siblings. Him and Nesryn leading the Southern Continent will be amazing and I love the way that they bonded over riding the ruks. I do wish that we got to see them even more, but considering all of the characters and storylines, I was still satisfied with the development of their relationship and themselves as characters (just want more content with anything from the Throne of Glass series because I know it’s over and that makes me sad!)

8. Dorian Havilliard & Manon Blackbeak

Next is another couple that I love so much but had to put lower on the list because there are just too many great couples in the Sarah J. Maas universe! I never thought that Dorian and Aelin (or Celaena at the time) would be good together, but was absolutely heartbroken when Sorsha died. BUT that death did lead to so much sexual tensions between Dorian and Manon that it was all worth it! I love these two because, again, it is so nice to see a badass female character also have a loving side, but also seems pretty “dominant” (for a lack of better word) in the relationship. I think Manon and Dorian are so great together, and their banter and cute nicknames (Princeling and Witchling) just gave me life! Even though the end of Kingdom of Ash left me completely shattered, I was very happy that Dorian and Manon still had each other, and I think the two of them will be great monarchs in their separate kingdoms, but also together.

7. Elide Lochan & Lorcan Salvaterre

Another amazing couple from the Throne of Glass series! Even though Lorcan was kind of an asshole when you first met him, when he and Elide had their whole adventure together, I fell in love with the two (especially Lorcan). I love a good “bad” boy “good” girl trope, and Lorcan and Elide were definitely that perfect fit. The way that Lorcan cared so much for Elide while they had to travel together was really cute, and I was so happy to see how Lorcan softened up and Elide became strong as well. It was nice that they still weren’t the typical weak girl, always rescued by the strong Fae. Lorcan and Elide made each other show the world their other sides as well.

6. Nesta Archeron & Cassian

This couple I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about but most of that will be in my ACOFS review coming soon, but for now I will just say that I LOVE them! We always knew that Nesta and Cassian were probably going to end up together, but still their journey as individuals and a couple was so fantastic to read. The way that the two of them helped each other out in terms of mental health while still being the individually strong characters was so good to see. Their sexual tension was great to read, and I loved the way that their whole story arc developed through the book.

5. Chaol Westfall & Yrene Towers

Again, I loved these two so much probably because they had their own book practically dedicated to them. I loved Chaol in the first two books from the Throne of Glass series, but like most people, I lost that love as the series went on. Going into Tower of Dawn I was really worried that I wasn’t going to like it because of Chaol being the central character, but like always, Sarah J. Maas writes such good redemption and flawed character arcs that it was impossible not to love Chaol again, and the woman who brought the light back to him. Similarly, I really liked Yrene when we first met her in The Assassin’s Blade stories (The Assassin and the Healer), and I was so happy that we got to learn more about her in the whole Tower of Dawn book. The way that Chaol and Yrene went from hating each other to falling in love was done absolutely perfectly, and by Kingdom of Ash when we found out that Yrene was pregnant, I almost threw my book in happiness, I was so excited. This couple is well deserving of the number five spot!

4. Aedion Ashryver & Lysandra

Now we have another favourite couple from the Throne of Glass series (that series is just so big and full of characters, most of the people on this list are from there). I really loved the idea of Aedion and Lysandra from the beginning when we start to see Lysandra play a bigger role in the series. Again, it’s the banter between these two characters that gets me every time, and the way they make fun of each other while also flirting is just so great to read. I was a little worried about what was going to happen to their relationship in Kingdom of Ash, especially since everything was going so well in Empire of Storms and then ended so badly at the end, but knowing that they got married almost immediately after the war was exactly what I needed. Also I LOVED Aedion with Evangeline and all their interactions, which was also why I knew that Aedion had to end up with Lysandra. Every time a kid comes into the picture I feel like I ship that couple just a bit harder. The three of them make the most perfect family.

3. Bryce Quinlan & Hunt Athalar

I know that technically we don’t know for sure if these two will be endgame, but if they aren’t I will sob and never forgive SJM! I love these two with all my heart and the only reason that they are in number three (and not higher!) is because we only have one book with them. I would not be surprised if they went up higher on my list after the next books come out. First of all, their sexual tension is fabulous. Second, I just adored how they both helped each other health through the book and how they went through so much together emotionally. I feel like that made the strongest foundation for a relationship, and if that foundation breaks, I think I might just dig myself a hole and stay there. While both are strong characters separately, they are just so much better together! Every scene of them was like magic, and they were the whole reason I could stop reading HOEAB. I need the next books so badly, just because I need to see them together more!

2. Aelin Ashryver Galathynius & Rowan Whitethorn

Finally at the top two, and this decision was probably the hardest one I’ve ever had to make. I love both Rowaelin and Feysand so much, this was impossible to decide, but it came down to the fact that out of every SJM book, A Court of Mist and Fury is my favourite. That book is a f*cking masterpiece and the reason for that is because of Feysand. So Rowaelin is second. Aelin and Rowan are amazing characters individually, but like the reason for all of these favourite couples, the journey that they go on together and help each other through, is what makes them so special and so strong as a couple. Rowan helped Aelin in a way that Chaol or Dorian never could, and Aelin in turn helped Rowan through centuries of pain just because they understood each other so well. The best and strongest part of all these couples is that they became friends first, before going into a romantic relationship (except for Nessian a couple others, but you know what I mean). Being able to create a strong bond before anything physical is so important with these characters, especially helping them get through so much trauma, and ultimately seeing that growth on the page connects you so much more with them as a couple. Seeing these characters go through so much together was really what made me love them to this degree (which is a high degree) which is also why I’m having a hard time believing that their stories are done. I will always need more Rowaelin content.

1. Feyre Archeron & Rhysand

And now we’re at the top. Like I just said, this was a hard decision, but it also feels so right. Feyre and Rhysand had an amazing development as a couple through the books, and A Court of Mist and Fury is definitely my favourite SJM book precisely because we see their relationship develop. I am beyond happy that we aren’t at the end of the ACOTAR world and we get to see more Feysand in the years and books to come, because I am not ready at all to say goodbye yet. Just thinking of Feyre and Rhys’ lives now (especially with Nyx) brings a smile to my face, and I think that it's amazing how an author and a book can do that. Both Feyre and Rhysand’s characters are so strong and their journeys were so heart wrenching to follow but so worth it at the same time. There is really nothing bad I can say about this couple, besides the fact that I want to thank Sarah J. Maas for writing such great characters, and I can’t wait to see more to come!

Thanks to anyone who read to the end. I know it was a long ramble again. Stay tuned for my ACOSF review coming soon as well.

Until next time!

~Rose Reviews

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whoreforenemiestolovers · 3 years

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Unmated | random chapter later on in the fic

Tears of Sadness and Joy | Elain’s POV

(Mature Content Warning)

“I’m so happy for you Nesta,” Elain was hugging her sister, happiness radiating out of her. After the mating ceremony was over, they all went back to the River Manor to celebrate. Elain was happy for her sister, but for some reason she also felt sad.

Elain knows she has a mate but she doesn’t feel anything for Lucien. She doesn’t understand why the Cauldron mated them when her heart belongs to another.

Azriel was standing in the corner congratulating Cassian. Elain kept catching him glancing at her, sending shivers down her spine.

Azriel stood next to Elain at the mating ceremony. He held her hand when tears slipped from her eyes as Nesta and Cassian said their vows. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “red carnations,” he pulled back, wiping the tears from her eyes. She looked into his eyes and smiled. When Elain looks at Azriel, all she can see is a future with them together. Damn the consequences, Elain always thinks.

“Red carnations,” she whispered back.

They went back to watching the ceremony and Azriel took his hand from hers. She knew it was because Lucien was watching. That was the closest they had ever gotten in front of him. Even though he took his hand from hers, she could feel his shadows brushing up against her, seeking that missing contact.

Now that they are back at the manor, Elain can’t help but feel blue. Not being able to be with the one person she craves has slowly started chipping away at her joy. She is constantly surrounded by the happiness of her family and she can’t help but envy them. Rhysand and Feyre, Amren and Varian, Nesta and Cassian, watching them all together in public without having to hide their romance has hurt her more than she cares to admit. The only times she feels truly joyful anymore is when she is with Azriel. When they lie in fields of flowers and watch the sky, brushing hands. When they visit her father’s grave together and he holds her when she cries. Even just eating a meal with him, his presence lights her up.

Elain walked into the kitchen, hoping to run into Nuala or Cerridwen and ask about a certain cake she wanted to bake for the celebration of the start of summer. Neither were in there so she sat down, needing a break from the company of others, when Lucien strolled in.

“Hey, you seemed upset, is everything okay?” Lucien is always trying to press Elain to talk and she knows eventually she will have to have the conversation with him but she doesn’t want to hurt him, so she avoids talking to him at all.

“I’m fine. I just needed a moment,” truthfully, she cannot stand being in the same room as Azriel without being near him, without talking to him.

“Elain will you ever talk to me? I know you don’t feel grand about the mating bond but we will have to communicate at some point or another.” Elain stared at the table. She knows he’s not wrong, but this is Nesta’s day and she will not have this talk with him on her day. “I’m going to the human lands to meet with Vassa. I’ll be back in three days. Maybe we can talk then.” At that, Lucien walked out of the kitchen, leaving Elain to her thoughts.

~~~

It was around 2 am and almost everyone had turned in for the night. Rhysand had winnowed Lucien to the human lands a couple of hours ago and has now gone to his room with Feyre, Nyx was asleep an hour before that. Amren and Varian had left an hour ago and Nesta and Cassian had just left.

The manor was silent at night so now that she was crying in her room, she knew Azriel could hear her. Standing in front of her mirror, tears streaming down her face, there was a knock on her bedroom door. She strolled over to open it and standing in front of her was the cause of her pain and happiness. She opened the door wider to let him in and the second she shut it, she fell into his arms, crying harder than before.

He stroked her hair and held her tight, trying to sooth the tears, “talk to me Elain. What’s wrong?” She pulled away to look at him, they were sitting on the edge of her bed now.

“I’m happy for Nesta. I really am. I just…” Elain trailed off, sniffling through her words. “I wish we could be happy like them.” Elain looked up at Azriel, “I want everyone to know that you make me happy and I don’t want to hide anymore.” Azriel looked at Elain with sadness in his eyes.

“That’s all I want Elain but we both know why that can’t be,” Azriel took his hands from hers, standing up. He ran his fingers through his hair. “We can’t go there Elain. You know how Rhysand would react. This,” he motioned between them, “us, we would be the cause of wars.”

Elain was now standing, “so let’s start wars,” she took his face in her hands, “I cannot pretend anymore.” His face was now mere inches from hers. They had only kissed a few times since Winter Solstice, every time reminding her why she didn’t care about the consequences. She was looking into his eyes with a deepness she had never comprehended before him, “red carnations.”

Tears were streaming down Azriel’s face as he brought his hands to hers, wiping away her tears, “red carnations,” he responded before bringing his lips to hers.

The kiss was more passionate than any they had ever shared. Elain moaned into his mouth, pressing her body against his, she could feel his bulge against her stomach. He moved his hands down to her waist, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, their mouths clashing, silently begging for more. He leaned down to lift her up, carrying her to her bed. She pulled her head back as he laid her down, gazing into his eyes. “Red Tulip,” she whispered.

Azriel shed a tear as he responded, “red tulip.” He moved his mouth to her neck, sucking on her skin, leaving marks to show everyone that she is his, and he is hers. Elain moaned in response, throwing her head back. He grazed his teeth over her neck and gently clamped down, flicking his tongue over her skin.

“Azriel,” she moaned. He pulled back, standing up. Elain propped herself up on her elbows and looked at him with confusion in her eyes.

“I want to please you Elain.” He smirked down at her and she felt heat rising in her belly. “I want to treat you like the goddess you are. I want to make you scream my name.” She could see the bulge through his pants. Elain was at a loss for words so she just shook her head. “Good.”

Azriel grabbed her legs and pulled her forward. She was sitting on the edge of the bed now, Azriel dropped to his knees in front of her, hands on her thighs. He looked up at her while slowly lifting her dress, which was now resting on her upper thighs. He laid a kiss on her thigh, “do you like the sight of me kneeling for you Elain?” Her name was a song on his lips. He kissed the inside of her thigh again. She shook her head to answer him and he smirked at her. “I want to hear you say it. I need to hear you say it.” Heat flushed her cheeks. He was begging her.

He licked her other thigh, sucking the skin hard enough to bruise. “Azriel,” she moaned, throwing her head back. She looked back down at him, “I love the sight of you kneeling before me. The sight of you between my legs.” He growled at her response.

Azriel pushed her back so she was lying with her back on the bed and legs dangling off. He leaned over her, meeting her eyes, “are you sure?” He asked. She only answered with a kiss. Azriel reached down to pull her dress up and off of her. His eyes scanned her body, “you’re so beautiful Elain.”

He kissed her one more time before moving lower. He stopped at her breasts, flicking his tongue over her nipples, biting down on one as she arched her back. He continued moving down, leaving a trail of kisses all the way down to her lower stomach. He lifted his head to look at her, taking in the beautiful sight before him. As she met his eyes, silently begging for him to continue he fell back to his knees, lowering his head to drag his tongue over her sensitive bud. Elain moaned with pleasure, begging him to go faster. And so he did.

Azriel’s tongue was flicking over that bundle of nerves faster and faster. He dragged his tongue down and stuck it inside her, causing her back to arch off the bed. He started dipping his tongue in and out, her hips thrusting up onto more of his tongue. He pulled out licking all the way back up to that bundle of nerves and started sucking, flicking his tongue over her bud. As she moaned in delight, he stuck a finger inside her, sending her hips buckling. She started moving with his hand and mouth, begging for more, so he stuck another finger in, moaning along with her. All Azriel wanted to do was please her and he could tell he was doing that.

Elain’s hands were in his hair, “pull my hair Elain. Move my head like you want it.” He started again and so she did what he said. With her fingers tugging at his hair, she started moving his head faster. Her back was arched and once she had set the pace she wanted him at, Azriel’s shadows wrapped around her hands, pulling them above her head so she couldn’t move.

Azriel’s tongue was flicking her bud over and over again while his fingers were moving in and out of her. He could feel her start to tighten around his fingers, so he sucked harder, dragging his tongue up and down. He removed his fingers and replaced it with his tongue, causing her to come undone. As she climaxed, he kept fucking her with his tongue, the sweet taste of her on him driving him crazy. He pulled out his tongue, licking her from base to top, savoring her taste.

As he pulled back, he moved her fully onto the bed, laying down to hold her in his arms. He whispered into her hair, “the sight of you coming undone almost sent me over the edge.” She looked at him with sadness on her face, “what is it?”

“You didn’t get your pleasure,” she responded.

“I took pleasure in giving you pleasure,” he kissed her head, “I want to go slow and I don’t want to take anything you aren’t ready to give.” He dragged his fingers over her body, admiring the beauty of her, “you truly are a goddess Elain,” and with that they fell asleep.

#acosf #acotar #a court of silver flames #sarah j maas #fantasy #fanfiction #wattpad #elriel #elain and azriel

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regolithheart · 4 years

Text

Love In The Time of Coronavirus: Chapter One

Summary: One pandemic, one lake house, and two people who loathe one another. Will they be able to survive the outbreak...and each other?

MASTER LIST

Read on AO3.

---------------

CHAPTER ONE:

Nesta Archeron tapped her pen against her notebook wondering how much longer her conference call was going to last.

“Okay, team. Sounds great. Hopefully this thing will end soon and our lives can get back to normal. We’re eager to break ground,” a voice crackled through the line. “Send us the package when you’re done.”

“Will do. Thanks everyone.” Nesta clicked off the call before anyone else had the chance to respond. She could see her friend and desk neighbor shaking her head.

“You really have a way with words,” Amren said, playing with the heavy ruby earrings dangling from her earlobes.

“I hate conference calls.”

“And here I thought you were just eager to get on the road.” Amren’s smile was feline.

“Don’t remind me. I’m thinking about calling Feyre and cancelling. I’d much rather stay in my own home, get my work done, and avoid having to talk to a single soul for two weeks.” Nesta began shoveling the contents of her desk into her work bag. “At least then something good will come out of this pandemic.”

“Don’t put me down as your emergency contact when they find your body a month later, half-eaten by feral cats.”

Nesta leveled her grey eyes at Amren. As if she’d ever put anyone down as her emergency contact. She was the type of person who didn’t believe in emergency contacts and was offended that Amren thought otherwise.

“Besides,” the tiny woman said, flipping her jet black hair. “You make it sound like you’re being shipped off to Siberia. I would kill to be quarantined in a house on Lake Velaris.”

“You’re more than welcome to come. I’m sure there is plenty of room.”

Amren eyed her friend and smirked. “Tempting, but I need to go home and take care of Varian.” She held up her cell phone. “Some idiot assaulted him when he was trying to help an old lady at the grocery store. Can you believe these people?”

Nesta knew exactly what people were capable of and the fact that everyone was running around with no reins on their stupidity in a time of panic did not come as a surprise to her.

“Is he okay?”

A wicked smile spread on Amren’s face and her eyes gleamed silver. “Oh he’s okay. He’s just using this as an excuse to get me to dress up as a nurse.”

“Okay, goodbye!” Nesta shoved her laptop into her bag and heard Amren cackling behind her as she walked through their nearly empty office.

As she strode past the glass cube that was her principal’s office, she nodded her head to indicate she was leaving, but he waved her over.

Devlon Cerny was still waving her over while he nodded his head into his phone, “Right, right, right.”

Nesta suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She leaned against the door, another glass panel, waiting for his call to end.

“Well listen, we’ve been through this with our China and Southeast Asia offices months ago. I’d like to think we’re better prepared in this situation than most architecture firms.” Devlon nodded again.

Nesta glanced at her phone, wondering how much longer he was going to make her wait.

“Yep, we’ll continue to coordinate with the consultants. Thanks, Tamlin.” He finally turned his eyes onto her. “How’d the Carver call go?”

“What, don’t you trust me?”

Devlon gave her a pointed look. “Of course, I do. I still want to know how it went. I’m in charge of ops for this office, aren’t I?”

Nesta relented. “Business as usual. They signed off on the master planning package and we’re full steam ahead on block F. Whose available on the viz team for renderings?”

“VR?”

Nesta shook her head. “We’re focusing on the commercial tower right now. A couple of exterior shots and some lobby and amenities spaces.”

Devlon thought about it. “I’ll let you know.”

Typical.

“Anyone but Eris.”

Devlon snorted. “I’ll let you know.” She knew he hated when she gave him orders. “You headed out now?”

She nodded. “Unless you need me to stay.”

Devlon shooed her away with his hand. “Go see the sisters. And stay safe out there.”

Nesta made sure he saw her rolling her eyes this time. “Anyone but Eris,” she reminded him before turning around to leave. She heard him half-scoff and half-laugh as she retreated.

She flipped her phone back and forth between her hands as she waited for the elevator to take her to the parking garage. It would be so easy to send a text to her sisters, telling them that she changed her mind—that she wouldn’t be joining them on their isolation at the lake. But she knew she wouldn’t be able to stand hearing the hurt and disappointment in their voices when they’d inevitably call her, demanding a reason. It didn’t matter that they’d be with their respective boyfriends and Nesta would be left to talk to Feyre’s boyfriend’s cousin who barely hid her disdain. Or one of the family friends, the one who barely said a single word, or the other one, who—

Ding!

The elevator doors slid open, distracting Nesta from her thoughts.

---------------

Nesta stood in front of her bed, trying to decide between the two sweaters in each hand while her sister, Elain, kept her company on the phone.

“How much clothes are you bringing?”

Elain hummed, her voice on speaker. “Between the two of us, I think we have four suitcases.”

“Four?!” Nesta thought that was absurd.

“Well… we don’t know how long this thing will last, do we?”

Nesta could just imagine Elain crossing her arms defensively.

“I’m sure there will be a washing machine.” She folded the grey sweater and tucked it neatly into her suitcase.

“Yes, but…you’ll need a couple of bathing suits and some nice dresses…”

“Elain, we’re going to be in quarantine, not throwing dinner parties. And who is swimming in the lake in March?”

“I think Feyre said there was a heated pool…or was it a jacuzzi? And you don’t have to be so…practical all the time. What’s wrong with wanting to dress up every now and then?”

Nesta snorted. There was no one she needed to dress up for in that particular group—not that she believed in dressing for anyone but herself.

“And how many grey sweaters are you bringing?”

Nesta looked down at her suitcase and threw a glare at her phone.

Elain’s voice was much more cheerful after Nesta’s silence. “Nes, promise me you’ll bring at least one bathing suit, one nice dress…oh! And some work-out clothes. Feyre says there is a gym. I need you to show me your arms routine.”

Nesta sighed, “Elain, you do realize that I’m going to be working most of the time, right? This is not going to be a vacation for me. Maybe I should just—“

“Don’t you dare think you can worm yourself out of this, Nesta. You’ve already promised Feyre and me and what do we say?”

“An Archeron never breaks her promise.”

“That’s right!”

Nesta sighed again.

Feyre had come up with the brilliant idea three days prior. Her boyfriend, no, fiancé owned a house on Lake Velaris and with the pandemic racing it’s way across the globe and people beginning to self-quarantine, it was only a matter of time before it was a mandate and not a request.

And Feyre, always making lemonade out of lemons, decided that if they were all going to be quarantined somewhere, it might as well be together and on a beautiful lake. The phone calls were made, plane tickets were booked, and arrangements were set.

Nesta had flat out refused when Feyre had called her sisters from France.

“But we’ll be together,” Elain had said.

“With five other strangers.”

“They’re not strangers.” Feyre had said through a sigh. “You’ve met them all, numerous times. I’m marrying Rhys! They’re going to be my family…and yours.”

Probably sensing Nesta’s anger building, Elain had pivoted the conversation. “Nes, Feyre’s flying home to be with us. We haven’t see her in three months.”

“She was the one who decided she wanted to live in France for a year.”

“For art school!” Feyre’s voice had gotten high-pitched.

Ever the diplomat, and referee between Nesta and Feyre, Elain spoke gently. “It doesn’t matter now. What matters is that we should be together.”

“Fine,” Nesta had finally relented.

If she was going to be cooped up in a house with seven other people, it might as well be a big house where she could hide if need be, and knowing Rhys, the house was going to be huge.

“What time is Feyre’s flight?” Nesta asked as she dumped the contents of her suitcase out on her bed to reassess, given Elain’s new parameters.

“Not for a couple of hours, I think.”

Nesta frowned. “Isn’t it a ten hour flight from Paris?”

“I think they’re taking some new jet that gets you there in half the time.” Elain’s voice grew soft, as if she were unsure of the facts.

That’s how it always was with Rhys. Nesta never knew if half of the things he said were true or not, mostly because they just seemed so unrealistic or unbelievable. It always irritated her when she was proven wrong. Still, it was easier to believe that he was a grifter lying about being rich than accept the fact that he was actually the sole heir of his father’s multi-million dollar real estate empire.

“I hope they bring goodies. Would it be horrible to ask for a box of macracons from Laduree? I should text Feyre now!”

Nesta shook her head as she rearranged items back into her suitcase. Elain would be happy to know that she had room for two dresses and Nesta was also pleased she was able to squish another sweater in before zipping the whole thing up.

“How many books are you bringing?” Elain asked, knowing her sister too well.

Nesta eyed the tote bag crammed full of books sitting by the door. “Not that many.”

“Good! We’re going to have so much sisterly bonding time that you’re going to get sick of me by the end of this whole thing!”

“Never.” Nesta looked around her apartment longingly, but after hearing the excitement in Elain’s voice, she lifted the phone and suitcase off the bed, heading to the door. “Are you sure I can’t pick you up?”

“I’m sure. Graysen should be getting off soon and I know you hate my music choices.”

It was hard to argue with that one.

“If you don’t mind waiting, you could ride with us,” Elain suggested, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

The truth was that if Nesta and Graysen were to be locked in a confined space together for the whole ride, no one of them would not make it to Napa alive…and there was a very big possibility that Nesta would end up being charged for murder. They all knew this, but it still never stopped Elain from trying to force Graysen and Nesta to get along.

“Thanks for the offer, but you know how I hate sitting in the back seat.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything. I’ll see you soon.”

---------------

Six and a half hours later, Nesta pulled up the gravel drive of Rhys’ lake house. To call it big would have been an understatement. The house was actually a mini-mansion which stood two stories high, but also had a ground level cut into the sloping hill next to it and she had a feeling she was only seeing half of its actual size from her viewpoint.

The sun was beginning to sink below the edge of the lake, causing the windows to glitter with the reflecting light and Nesta had to admit to herself that it really was beautiful.

She turned off her ignition and looked around. She had expected Feyre to bound down the porch stairs to usher her inside, but the house sat quiet. And with the sun fading, she thought it was odd that there wasn’t a single light on in the house. There were no other cars that she could see besides her own and a beat up truck with peeling paint on its tailgate.

Perhaps it was a maintenance man, or gardener. Even with the woods at its doorstep, the house still had a manicured lawn and enough of a garden that Elain would swoon over the roses and an hydrangeas swaying happily in the breeze.

Nesta grabbed her phone to make sure she got the right address. She was certain that she had, but she was starting to get an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach, and that was when she saw the missed call and texts from her sisters.

She almost didn’t want to read them.

01:03 Feyre: The airport is packed. Gross.

01:03 Elain: Don’t touch anything! Wash your hands!

01:22 Feyre: Flight is delayed. Don’t worry, Rhys is trying to find us a charter.

01:24 Elain: Keep us posted.

Nesta shook her head in disbelief as she scrolled down to the bottom of the text window.

04:58 Feyre: No one’s flying out of Paris and London’s due to cancel all their flights.

04:58 Elain: So you’re stuck in France?!?

04:59 Feyre: For now, yes.

Nesta’s knuckles were turning white from clutching her phone. She tapped the play button on Feyre’s voicemail, one that she clearly left without allowing Nesta to pick up.

“Nesta, don’t be mad. We’re doing everything we can to get home. Rhys is calling in all his favors. It’s going to be okay. You’ll be with Elain and you can call me at any time—we’re heading back to the apartment now. I’ll call you if anything changes. Stay safe.”

Nesta could feel the heat rising from her chest and crawling up her neck as she punched in Elain’s number.

“Nesta! Don’t be mad!”

She had to take a deep breath. “Where are you?”

The two seconds of silence immediately made Nesta want to bare her teeth.

“We…haven’t left yet.”

“Elain! I offered to give you a ride. I even left work early! And now Feyre…”

“I know! I know, Nesta. Don’t hate me, but Graysen had some things he needed to finish up at the office and it’s already so late. We’d be lucky if we got there before midnight. But don’t worry! We’re going to drive up first thing in the morning.”

“Why didn’t you call me when you knew Feyre’s flight was cancelled?”

“I knew you were driving and I didn’t want you to be upset. Are you there now?” Elain’s voice went small.

“Yes. I’m sitting in the drive way with no way to get inside because both my sisters have abandoned me.”

Elain sighed, “We didn’t abandon you.”

“No? How am I getting inside the house? I’m all alone.”

Nesta could hear Elain’s breathing on the other end of the line, it was quick, almost…nervous. She narrowed her eyes.

“Elain?”

Elain’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Well… you’re not entirely alone…”

Nesta closed her eyes and breathed out of her nose, trying to calm herself. She had felt that sense of doom all day. She should have listened to it—should have turned around on the highway and headed back to Los Angeles all those times her body was telling her too. But she ignored those warning signs—didn’t know what the universe was trying to warn her about.

But she knew now. She knew even before looking, knew before Elain said the words out loud.

When she opened her eyes and looked out her window, standing there, with his arms folded across his broad chest and a shit-eating grin on his face, was the very last person on earth Nesta Archeron wanted to be stuck in quarantine with.

And his hazel eyes gleamed with delight.

#acotar #nessian #nessian fanfic #cassian #cassian archeron #elain archeron #feyre archeron #love in the time of coronavirus

35 notes · View notes

snacmc · 5 years

Text

After the Rain {Chapter 2}

ACOTAR.

All characters belong to Sarah J Maas. I claim nothing but the plot and the joy and agony you will feel while reading this fanfiction. :)

Click here for summary and previous chapters.

Caution: mature content throughout.

A/N: There’s always a few boring chapters before the drama comes in, right?

- t

“It's not life or death, the labyrinth. Suffering. Doing wrong and having wrong things happen to you. That's the problem. Bolivar was talking about the pain, not about the living or dying. How do you get out of the labyrinth of suffering?” ― John Green, Looking for Alaska

Elain stared out of her window, blankets wrapped around her frail frame.

She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there watching the cars pass by, time had been lost to her long ago. Feyre had called multiple times, all which Elain had let go to her voicemail.

She had gone for a walk with Lucien that morning and it had been nice, until she felt like everyone had been staring at her, watching her.

She felt exposed.

Her breathing had increased, her heart had begun beating heavily, she had dropped to the ground in tears.

After that, Lucien had taken her home.

She had crawled into her bed where she stayed for the remainder of the day.

The numbness was life-altering.

She hated the numbness, hated that she didn’t feel a thing. And when she finally felt something it was panic, agonizing panic. It was fury. It was dread. It was self-loathing.

Hopelessness.

She hated Graysen, hated that he led her here.

She hated what he had done, what it had done to her life.

To her heart.

He had numbed it.

He had numbed her.

Elain Archeron used to be perfect, now she was nothing more than a shattered porcelain doll.

Elain felt a tear slide down her pale cheek although she didn’t remember feeling sad.

Yet, she couldn’t make them stop. The tears kept coming as she laid there in perfect stillness, watching the cars pass her by.

The world moved on, but she could not.

He had broken her. He had taken everything away from her.

She no longer knew who she was.

She was a ghost of the girl she used to be, alive but absent, awake but unable to live.

Elain Archeron had left, and she didn’t care to come back.

~~~~

Feyre scanned the shelves for Mor’s favorite sparkling peach Moscato. After two minutes had come and gone, she had finally found it.

Then, as if life didn’t hate her enough, she wasn’t the only one reaching for the last bottle on the shelf.

He was tall, dark, and queasily handsome.

The stranger raised a brow, his violet eyes lit with humor. “It seems we have the same taste.”

Feyre ignored his lead and grabbed the bottle. “But I saw it first, so.”

“But my guest will be so disappointed,” he shot back.

“I’m sure you’re girlfriend will be okay with another selection,” Feyre said, putting the bottle into her basket. Not that she needs to be drunk to want you. Feyre looked away from the man as she shook the thought from her mind.

“Very well,” he smiled, cunningly. “Who should I tell her took the last bottle when she asks?”

Feyre rolled her eyes. “Are you trying to flirt with me?”

He laughed just as Nesta came around the corner. “Feyre, there you are. I’ve been looking for you for ten minutes.”

The man’s grin widened. “Feyre.”

Nesta stopped and looked at the man. “Who the hell are you? And why are you looking at my sister that way? Feyre, is this guy bothering you?”

“No,” Feyre said. “Let’s go.”

“Maybe I’ll see you around, Feyre,” he called as they walked away.

“Do I want to know?” Nesta asked once they rounded the corner and made their way to the checkout.

“Battled over wine,” Feyre replied, shrugging.

Nesta let it go. “Heard back from Elain?”

Feyre frowned. “No, I’ve called her five times today. I’m worried about her.”

“I went by there earlier,” Nesta said. “Lucien was there. Said he tried to take her for a walk but she had a panic attack. She was resting.”

“If I ever come across Graysen, he’s a dead man,” Feyre said.

Nesta agreed as they made it to the cashier to pay for their wine and cheese.

“I don’t understand how someone could be so cruel to someone as sweet as Elain,” Feyre continued.

“He took advantage of her for that reason,” Nesta said, crossing her arms. “She was too innocent. Trusted people too much. She wanted to believe he was the one.”

At one time, Feyre had thought the same about Tamlin - until he had shown her his true colors.

As if Nesta knew where her mind had wandered, she asked, “Has he tried to contact you lately?”

“A few days ago,” Feyre said, after thanking the cashier and grabbing their paper bag. “Called and left a two-minute long voicemail about how much he loved me and how sorry he is, drunk off his ass.”

“You didn’t call back, right?”

Feyre scoffed. “No. Never will. I’ve heard his apologies before, way too many times.”

The two sisters walked back to Feyre and Mor’s townhouse in silence.

Mor was finishing up dinner preparations when they entered- the house smelled heavenly.

“Hey,” Mor said, untying her apron and hanging it on a nearby hook. “Get the wine?”

“And the cheese,” Feyre said, putting the bag on the counter. “Your friends almost here?”

“So they say, but they’re rarely on time,” Mor chuckled.

Feyre took the bottle out of the bag and put it on the table, then cut up the block of cheese while Nesta attempted to call Elain again.

She didn’t answer.

Feyre got a text from Lucien a minute later: She’s doing okay. Just went back to sleep. Didn’t want to eat.

With a sigh, Feyre put her used knife in the sink as the doorbell rang.

“Come in!” Mor hollered, and when they did, Feyre went still.

Three men, all with the same dark hair and breathtaking skin tone, entered.

One in which she had seen.

“You,” Feyre said, staring at the man with the violet eyes and tattoos that disappeared under his black tee.

He raised a brow. “Hello, Feyre, darling.”

Mor stopped. “You two know each other?”

“No,” Feyre said, just as he said, “Yes.”

Nesta came around the corner and froze. “What the hell are you doing here?”

It was then that Feyre noticed the man with shoulder-length hair pulled back, scuffed up boots, and hazel eyes that were attached to her sister.

“Beautiful Nesta,” he grinned. “What a lovely surprise.”

Mor looked confused. “Okay. Someone explain.”

“Mr. Nazari and I work together,” Nesta said, emotionlessly.

“How many times have I told you to call me Cassian?” he asked. “Mr. Nazari sounds ridiculous coming from you.”

Nesta rolled her eyes and disappeared into the hallway.

“Hi, Feyre,” Cassian said, changing the center of his attention. “It’s great to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“You too,” Feyre replied, politely.

“Is someone going to tell me how you two know each other?” Mor asked, looking between Feyre and the wino-man.

“Feyre and I met in the wine aisle,” he said. “I was trying to surprise you with your favorite wine, but she beat me to it.”

Realization hit Feyre and she suddenly felt ridiculous. And embarrassed. And like she wanted to punch him in his beautiful face. “You’re Rhysand?”

“He is,” Mor said, before he could. “And behind him is Azriel.”

Azriel waved, uncomfortably. “I promise I don’t know anyone.”

“Mor,” Feyre said with a tight smile. “A word, please.”

With a roll of her eyes, Mor followed Feyre up the stairs, to her bedroom.

Where Nesta was scowling, alone.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Feyre asked.

Nesta laughed, humorlessly. “I’m not going back down there with that asshole.”

“Cassian?” Mor asked. “He’s a sweetheart.”

“He came to my office ten times today to ask me for a pen,” Nesta said. “Then another five to ask me to have lunch with him, and two of those times were after lunch.”

Feyre blinked. “That….bastard?”

“He’s annoying,” Nesta said. “It’s immature. I don’t have time for it.”

“Who stuck a stick up her ass?” Mor mumbled, earning a glare that could kill a man.

“And Rhysand? The guy from the market?” Nesta asked, switching her glare to her sister. “There was a lot of flirting going on for a simple disagreement over wine.”

“Okay, this is ridiculous,” Feyre sighed.

“What’s ridiculous is that both of you are sitting up here to avoid two idiots who you don’t even know,” Mor snapped. “Now, I have cooked all day for eight people and if I have a ridiculous amount of leftovers I will burn this house to ashes. I expect you two downstairs in five minutes.”

With that, Mor left, shutting the door behind her.

“So dramatic,” Feyre said, but neither of them moved.

~~~~

Azriel hated social gatherings. Not because he hated spending time with his friends - that he enjoyed - but he never was sure how to communicate with new people.

Especially the one who looked naturally pissed.

The one that Cassian seemed to enjoy.

Amren showed up with her new boyfriend, Varian, who everyone found to be simply charming.

Azriel sat at the table among his companions, his hands folded on top of the table as Mor went on and on about her day. He loved Mor for many reasons but one of those was that she always had something to say which meant he never had to search for lost words.

“Mor said you had two sisters, Feyre,” Rhysand began.

“Did she now?” Feyre asked before shoving a bite of chicken in her mouth.

“Mor’s told me a lot about you,” Rhysand winked. “She didn’t want to join us?”

Feyre said nothing, but Nesta said, “She is sick.”

“Maybe we could bring her a plate on our way out,” Cassian said. “Where does she live?”

“Why would I tell you where she lives?” Nesta asked.

But Feyre smiled politely. “That’s okay. She lives on the north side.”

“Az lives on the north side,” Cassian said, mouthful.

Nesta’s lips tightened.

Azriel stared at his plate. “I could bring her a plate. I don’t mind.”

“That’s not necessary,” Feyre assured him.

The air grew thick as they ate in silence. It didn’t take long for Mor to begin a conversation again.

After dinner had ended, and Azriel felt like he was going to explode, he helped Mor clear the table.

“Didn’t want to bring a date?” Mor asked while she was washing dishes.

Azriel picked one up to dry with a chuckle. “Have I ever brought a date to one of your gatherings?”

“My gatherings? You make them sound so official.”

Azriel shrugged. “No date. You either?”

“Not interested in anyone lately,” she confessed. “Although, there’s someone at my gym who watches me do squats.”

“Sounds romantic.”

Mor laughed and nudged his ribs. “What do you think about Feyre?”

“She seems nice,” he said, truthfully. “Her sister is…”

Mor nodded. “Indescribable? I agree.”

Azriel didn’t know what it was about Nesta, but he would never want to be on her bad side.

Which is where Cassian seemed to already be.

“Do you know where Elain lives?” Azriel asked.

Mor glanced at him, curiously. “Yeah. Why?”

“I caught that there is more to the story than what was told,” he said. “I would like to bring her a plate of food.”

Mor’s smile softened. “How did we get so blessed with you in our lives, Az?”

Azriel pursed his lips.

Mor laughed at his embarrassment and helped him make a plate of leftovers for Elain.

~~~~

“Can I sit?”

Feyre glanced up to find Rhysand lingering just outside of the front door.

Her eyes traveled to the empty swing beside her.

“Sure.”

He sat and they rocked, together, back and forth.

“Is there a reason you asked to sit with me or did you just feel like awkwardly staring at me?” she said, after a moment.

“Sometimes it’s just nice to have company,” he replied, simply.

“Sure,” she said. “Company that you know.”

“We know each other,” he said. “We had that moment. In the wine aisle.”

“Yes, and I will remember it for the rest of my life,” she said, laced with sarcasm.

“Look at us,” he crooned. “We’ll have to tell our grandchildren about the day we met, you know, so I hope you’ve submitted every detail to memory.”

“Bite me.”

Rhysand laughed. “You hate me.”

“Hate is a strong word.”

“You hate me,” he repeated.

“You annoy me,” she said.

“Some say that’s the first step to love,” he said.

Feyre stayed silent.

“Alright,” Rhysand sighed, a minute later. “I’ll leave you alone. Just know that I’m going to call you tomorrow to ask you out to dinner.”

He stood up and began descending the front porch stairs.

“Wait,” Feyre stopped. “What? You don’t have my number.”

He turned around, grinned, and gave her a little wave. “Goodnight, Feyre, darling.”

Feyre watched him hop up in his little black car and drive away.

~~~~

“Need a ride?”

Nesta kept walking. “No.”

Cassian was half leaning out of his window, driving at the same speed that she walked. “It’s dark. It’s late. Let me give you a ride home.”

“I don’t live far,” Nesta said.

“Let me give you a ride and I’ll never come to bother you during school hours ever again.”

Nesta stopped.

Cassian stepped on the brakes.

“Never?”

“Promise.”

With narrowed eyes, Nesta stomped to the passenger side of his truck and climbed in.

It was surprisingly clean, which Nesta never would have guessed from his scuffed boots and ripped jeans. She glanced at the tattoos beneath his rolled up sleeves.

“Like what you see?” he grinned.

“You’re such an ass,” she snapped.

He just laughed. “Get a drink with me.”

“I live right up here on the right,” she replied.

“One drink.”

“That wasn’t part of the deal.”

“It is now.”

Nesta turned in her seat. “You can’t just change the deal. The deal has already begun.”

“I can do whatever I want. I created the deal.”

“Drop me off here.”

“Come on, Nes, when was the last time you had one little drink? It’s fun.”

“I have a feeling you and I have a very different idea of ‘fun’”, Nesta mumbled. “And call me Nes one more time and your manhood gets cut off.”

“I like it when you talk about my manhood.”

“Prick.”

Cassian laughed. “Okay. I’ll drop you off. Tell me when to stop.”

Nesta hated how amused he was. He hated that he was enjoying himself.

“One drink, and you never bother me at work again.”

Cassian glanced at her through his side-eye. “Deal.”

He drove to a bar in downtown Velaris that Nesta had never been to before.

And when she walked inside, she needed a drink.

It was filled with people, smoke, and unholy smells, but the atmosphere was kind of exhilarating.

Cassian walked up to the bar and yelled over the music. A minute later, he came back to Nesta and handed her a beer.

“This tastes like shit,” she yelled.

“I know,” he yelled back. “It’s great.”

He thinks this is all a joke, she thought, as she eyed him. He thinks I’m a joke. That I can’t have a good time. That I’m going to bail.

“You look distressed!” he yelled. “Want me to take you home?”

Nesta shook her head and downed her beer. “Buy me another!”

Cassian blinked, then did as he was told.

~~~~

“You...You were going to audition for the Valeris ballet company?” The words tumbled out of Cassian’s mouth in a slur.

Nesta nodded, eyes glazed. “But I had to pay the bills, ya know? So I got the job at VSA, instead.”

“I’ve been teaching at VSA for five years,” Cassian said, into her ear. “I l-l-love it.”

Nesta was leaning against the wall in a crowded hallway, Cassian almost pressed up against her body.

“All I’ve ever wanted to do was d-dance,” she said, before laughing uncontrollably.

Cassian grinned. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut the fuck up,” she said, and hit his shoulder, although her laughter continued. Her shaking fingers reached up and began to unbutton his shirt. “I like your tattoos. What do they mean?”

Cassian watched her fingers. “I c-c-can’t remember.”

Nesta started to laugh again. “I’ve never been this drunk!”

Cassian joined in with her laughter and stopped only when her hands began running down his bare chest.

“Are you trying to turn me on?” he asked, into her ear.

“Is it working?” she yelled, sloppily tossing her arms around his neck.

Cassian’s mouth pressed to hers in response.

She pulled him by the sides of his open shirt down the hall, into the ladies room. They ignored the woman washing her hands and hurried into a stall as Cassian grabbed Nesta by the hips and lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist.

He pressed her up against the cold stall wall as they both fiddled to lock the door.

Cassian’s lips trailed to her neck, then down to her breasts as he slid the top of her dress down low.

Nesta moaned beneath his mouth, the scent of whiskey filling the air.

“Put me down,” she slurred.

Cassian lifted up his head and found her lips, once more, as he sat her on the ground. Before he knew it, his back was pressed against the opposite wall and Nesta was on her knees.

It took her a minute to figure out his belt in her current state, but when she pulled him out and her lips graced him, Cassian forgot about everything else.

His head fell back and he groaned, his fingers woven into her hair. He had to open his eyes to keep from losing his balance, but he’d never found another ceiling so beautiful.

He swore as he whispered her name.

Cassian pulled her up by her hair, and she was grinning, wildly. After reaching up her dress to remove her lace panties, he had her around his waist, just as before, but this time there were no barriers.

She bit his bottom lip as he thrust himself into her, the sound coming out of her could be heard from a mile away.

He would wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and a lot of fuzzy thoughts, but he would never forget having sex with Nesta Archeron up against a bathroom stall at a bar in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, she wouldn’t forget, either.

Chapter 3 coming soon!

Shelby and I have the same list for our tags, if you would like to be added to our list send us an ask. :)

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nightcourtstarlight · 6 years

Text

Garden Dancing part 2

Well, its been about 87 years since the fisrt part came out. sorry about that, school has been kicking my ass its been a rough time. But it here! FINALLY! and i’m happy to share it with you all!

Oh and by the way, there will be atleast 5 more parts ( whoopie) and yes they are drafted and ya know.. they exist.

Welp I dont know how good this part is but I’ll let you get to it!

Read the first part here on Ao3

@rosehallshadowsinger @daycourtsunlight

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I listened as Feyre laughed brightly at something Cassian said. Rhys sat next to her, an arm draped around the back of the chair. They were the epitome of happiness, it radiated and glowed in the midday sun.

We were all gathered in the backyard of the new manor. Nesta and Cassian chatted quietly now. You could see what their conversation was about even if you couldn't hear the words telling by the way Cassian's lips brushed her ear ever so slightly and a red blush rose on nestas cheeks. I took note of how their fingers were tightly intertwined as they went back and forth in their discussion.

I sighed and looked away. So this was it. I'd finally become the third wheel. Not even Mor of Amren could keep me entertained, for they had gone to the summer court to see Varian. Who would have thought Amren would fall in love, though the last time one of us had pointed it out she promised to rip out our tongues. I shivered at the thought. Varian deserves a medal for being brave enough to pursue her.

Since both of my sisters had long forgotten about the conversation we were having I decided id take a walk through the very large garden. I discreetly stood and made my way to the rose garden. The sun streamed through the leaves of the tree overhead and warmed my skin. I let my fingers flutter over the soft rose petals as I wandered, lost in thought.

I wonder where Azriel is. Perhaps he was on a mission. Now that I think about it I haven't seen him in a few days. I hope he's ok. I chuckle to myself. That's silly, of course, he's fine. He's the shadow singer. SpyMaster of the night court.

I pluck a flower off of the bush and behind picking off the petals.

I wonder if he's eaten yet.

Just then I feel my muscles coil and tighten. My vision changes from me looking at the rose hudge to light filtering through wings and powder on a marble surface.

Just as quickly as it comes, I'm thrown back into reality. The flower drops out of my hand as I slump back on the bench. My head pounds with a dull ache.

I don't even notice the shadows around me grow and stretch as I rub at my eyes, willing myself to make sense of the scene that just unfolded. Suddenly something starts blocking the sun. I look up, dazed, to see Azriel towering over me.

His arms were crossed and his wings were stretched out wide, blocking the sun.

My vision… I thought as I watched the sunlight illuminate every vain and tendon. Azriels eyes flicked over me from head to toe

“Are you ok, Elain?” Az unfolded his arms and slid onto the bench next to me. I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder. One arm came up to brush the hair out of my face while the other pulled me closer to him.

“It was a vision,” I murmured, letting his cool rainy forest scent soothe me.

“What about?” his fingers rubbed mall circles on my back.

"I saw wings, and I think-” I sighed feeling another dull throb pound through my head. At least it's getting better “ I think they were yours,”

“I see,” Az mumbled.

“How did you now?”

“My shadows tell me things. I like to keep tabs on important things and people,” Hi voice was smooth and deep as silk.

“I’m important?”

“Of course. Your my high lady’s sister,”

I tried not to feel the stab of pain in my heart at that. I wish he saw me as someone more than just the High Lady's sister because I see him as so much more than just the Spymaster of the night court.

“And you're my friend,” Warmth spread through my body at that. If friendship was all he was willing to give then I would take it, and cherish it for as long as I am able to.

“Where were you?” I asked

“So many questions today Love,”

“Well, you left me to sit between Feyre and Rhys blatant touching and Cassian and Nestas sexual tension,”

I was delightfully rewarded with a deep chuckle.

“I was meeting with some of my operatives,”

“I forgot you have your own people that work with you,”

“Good, that's the point,” he quipped. I could hear the amusement in his voice

I whacked him on the chest “ Hey!” I squeaked. I couldn't help but smile though, he was just so charming.

“You're probably hungry, let's go find you something to eat,” He stood and pulled me to my feet. I looped my arm through him as he leads us through the garden. The sun was now lower in the sky. Sunset was probably only a few hours away. I listened to the bumbling rush of the Sidra as we walked. Honestly, I was surprised it didn’t cut right through the garden.

I peeked up at Azriel, taking note of his relaxed expression. Usually, he always had a slight frown on his full plump lips, but today he looked at ease.

“You’re staring," he chuckled

“ Am not! I-I just noticed how peaceful you look,” I trailed off, praying he wouldn’t see the blush on my cheeks.

“You’re very easy to be around,”

“Thank you. You are too,”

We finally made it out of the rose grove and swiftly walked past the couples.

“I might blind myself if I have to see their touching one more time," Azriel muttered so low I almost didn’t catch it. I laughed and bumped my shoulder into his.

“Az!”

I swear a tinge of red color his cheeks, but he merely shrugged as we slipped into the kitchen.

Az walked over to the pantry and pulled the doors open wide. I heard him rummaging as I came to stand by the sink.

“What do you want to eat?” he asked

“Perhaps we can make summer corn chowder. I know Nuala just bought fresh tomatoes.”

“That sounds lovely,”

We began gathering ingredients. Az found spices while I gathered corn, tomatoes and other things to make the soup. We made quick work of putting the ingredients together. I watched, spellbound, as he chops the vegetables. The way the knife glides in his hands with ease. The flex of his wrist and furrow of his brow as he concentrates. My cheeks catch on fire as his gaze flickers up to mine and lingers for a moment before dropping back down to the counter. Luckily he doesn’t say anything, but a small smirk does play on his lips.

I hum and turn back to the stove. The soup bubbles and releases a heavenly scent as I slowly stir it. I feel my stomach rumble and idly think that I hadn't realized how hungry I was. When was the last time I ate today anyway? I had a pastry and tea with Nula this morning. She had come over for brunch and I was slightly surprised Cerridwen wasn't with her. "Duty calls" was all Nuala offered when I had asked. I took that as a sign not to push. Perhaps it was a mission for Azriel, and best to know less about it.

I startled out of my thoughts as Azriel reaches his long, solid arms around me to dump the chopped peppers and tomatoes into the pot. His scent wraps around me and I bite my cheek to keep from breathing it in. Azriel moves away and comes to lean against the counter, popping a chunk of tomato in his mouth as he does so.

“When's the last time you ate today Azriel?” I stammered, reaching for anything to fill the silence. Usually, I had no problem sitting in that comfortable silence with Azriel. It was always a kind of content comfort with him, to just know that you didn't need to continuously fill the gaps in conversation. That it was ok to just… drift.

But with the way Azriel had his curious inquisitive face on, ( it all showed in his swirling hazel eyes), I found myself a bit more nervous to just let him blurt out whatever he was bound to say. This had been the first thing that came to my mind.

He considered it for a moment, chewing on a piece of pepper thoughtfully this time before saying. “ I had an apple for breakfast”

“An apple? That’s it?” I frowned a turned to him. I should have suspected, with the way he had to think about it. He merely nodded and started munching on an apple that was in a fruit bowl on the counter. That also explains the snacking. “Az you need to eat more than just an apple! Look at you, you’re as big as a barn!”

Another smirk played on his lips as I reprimanded “Stop snacking Az. You'll ruin your appetite!” he released an easy chuckle and finished off the apple, chucking the core in the compost bin. I sighed and turned back to the soup. It was nearly done thankfully. I gave it a few turns as I asked: “Why don’t you eat often Azriel?”

“I eat often,”

I laminated a stare at him. He bit his lip and mumbled, “Ok maybe not as much as I should but I do...”

“Why?”

“Cassian used to do the cooking, but he stopped because I'm too picky of an eater. I've been managing though,” He looked so bashful as he said it. I willed a wall of ice to form over my heart like Nesta. Az is my friend and nothing more, but despite my best efforts, his sincere shyness seemed to melt through it anyway.

“Hmm,” I hummed and walked over to the cabinet where the bowls were kept. I flick open the door and just as I start reaching up on the tips of my toes, Az’s shadow laced hand reaches up and grabbed the bowls.

“Thanks,” I smile up at him, but try not to linger. After moving back to the stove I quickly pour him a bowl of soup and slice off a piece of bread to go along with it.

I set it on the counter and push it towards him “Eat Azriel,” I say.

His eyes flicker from my face to the bowl, back to my face, back to the bowl again before he slowly picked up the spoon and took a bite.

Satisfied, Elain got to work making sandwiches to go with the soup. No one can just have soup for lunch and not grow hungry within the hour, she thought as she sliced another tomato. She then pulled sliced turkey breast and cheese from the icebox and bread from the bread box.

“How do you like your sandwich?” she asked

“You don't have to, I’m pic-,”

“It's really no problem Az," She interrupted smoothly.

Azriel pressed his lips together into a hard line before he sighed and murmured a few directions. “Can you put mayo on one slice of bread and Mustard on the other?” Elain beamed and started spreading the condiments. Then he spoke “Two lettuce leaves on the mayo side please and then a thick slice of tomato,”

Elain felt her lips quirk as he ground out his order as if asking for a simple sandwich made the way he likes it brings him physical pain. He then bashfully instructed her to put a healthy slice of cheddar on top of the tomato.

When Az’s uncomfortable shuffling finally fell silent she looked up just as she was about to put a slice of turkey on to top it off.

“Anything else Az?” she asked. She watched, bemused as he gnawed on his bottom lip, yes actually chewing it off, before he sighed and said “I actually prefer ham,”

“ Ok, that's fine!” Elain trilled as she walked over to the ice box and swapped the turkey for sliced ham. Now that she thought about it, she probably should have asked what meat Azriel wanted in the first place instead of just grabbing turkey.

Elain finally returned to the counter and finished assembling the sandwich. She put it on a plate and added another bowl of soup just to be safe and slid it across the counter. Az looked down at the plate and then back up.

“Az! Stop looking guilty and just eat it before I do!” A small smile flickered across his face and his shoulder relaxed an inch as he finally took a bite of the sandwich. He released a low hum that for a moment sounded like something… very different.... His eye flickered shut for a moment and he finished chewed and swallowed. In no time Elain assembled her own and took up a spot next to Azriel. When they finally flickered back open his gaze locked with her own.

“Good?”

“Perfect!” and the smile he had on his face could have lit up any darkness. The night sky its self.

Then we ate in silence for a few moments. Azriel ate his sandwich in record time. There wasn't a crumb left. By the time I had finished my own he was polishing off his second bowl of soup.

“Az eating is important, everyone needs to do it, Fae or not,”

“I know,”

"I could”I trailed off, gathering my courage," I could help you. I wouldn't mind making your lunch or breakfast,” I peeked at him from the corner of my eye and saw he was staring at me with a look I couldn't place. Wonder, confusion, curiosity?

“I couldn't ask that of you Elain,”

“You don't have to. It would make me feel better to know you're eating right,”

“You really don't have to-,”

“Az,” I drawled as he scooped up our empty bowls and plates and put them in the sink

He sighed and turned back to face me. His eyes were bright but his bottom lip was caught between his white teeth. “If you feel you must you can, but just remember I don't expect you to make my meals. I can take care of myself Elain,”

“I know that,” I said gently and came to stand next to him by the sink. I picked up a towel and began drying the dishes he had washed. We finished in silence and I passed him the towel to dry his hands on. His hair fell into his eyes as he swiped the cloth over his intricately scared hands. I heart speed up as I gazed at him. He was by far the most handsome male I'd ever seen, from his scars to his cool indifferent looks. My heart started to pound as I leaned up on the tips of my toes and pressed a butterfly's kiss to his tan cheek.

“It's my pleasure Azriel, thank you for allowing me to help you like how you help me every day,” I whispered. He was still as stone as I stepped away and walked out of the kitchen. My cheeks burned as I grabbed my cloak and swung it over my shoulders, eager to leave before my legs gave out.

It's ok, I thought. Friends are allowed to gives kisses on the cheek. It wasn't like it was long. Merely a brush of the lips! A show of endearment.

Why was her heart beating like a hummingbird's wings then?

Az was frozen by the sink, where Elain had left him. The sensation of her lips pressed against his skin still ghosted his cheek with warmth. His hands balled into fists and he struggled to regain my thoughts.

Elain is my friend. It was a friendly kiss on the cheek, and nothing more. It would be improper to of him to think of it as anything more than that. And worst for him to think of it for longer than this moment, Azriel thought as he started putting the dishes away.

Yes, he would just forget about it. It was safer that way. Elain was his kind and noble friend.

Yet... he couldn't help but wish there could be something more...

No! He shook his head at that and kicked a cabinet closed. Elain had a mate and... he was ... he was him. Scared and bruised and broken with too many years trapped in darkness. How could he ever put that on Elain? shed already been through so much and didn't deserve to be weighed down with him.

He should just be content with the fact that she allowed him to be her friend, he thought with dismay.

Azriel had just finished putting away the dished when Rhysand and Cassian barged into the kitchen with a loud clatter.

"This is why we can't have nice things in this house," Azriel sighed and walked over to righting the picture frame they had knocked over.

"Why are you brooding Az? It's not even 5 o'clock yet, too early for brooding," Cassian quipped as he went to the icebox. He was obviously drunk as a sailor.

"Why are you Drunk Cassian? It's not even 5 o'clock," Azriel ground out, throwing the words back into his face. His shadows swirled around him as his mood worsened. I wasn't in the mood to deal with his drunk, idiot brothers.

Rhys and Cassian shared a look before Rhysand murmured into his cup "Is it Elain?"

Azriel ground his teeth together, feeling his wings flare a bit at the mention of the exact subject of his thoughts. "No"

"Right," Cassian said, who had returned from the icebox with a new bottle of wine. " Try not to brood too much az, she's crazy about you,"He said and disappeared out the door with Rhys following behind.

Azriel heaved and aggravated sigh before flexing his wings and disappearing into the shadows, eager to get away from his annoyingly intrusive brothers.

_Elain_

The next morning I awoke a bit earlier than usual and got dressed. Azriel is probably already awake, I thought as I looked through my cabinets for something suitable to make. After a bit of contemplation and a large mug of blueberry green tea, I decided on a classic that I knew Azriel liked. On the odd occasion that we all had breakfast together like after Starfall or on Feyre’s birthday, he would order 3 fried eggs, toast, and fried ham.

Getting to Azreils house was simple enough. He had told me the address the night he had taken me out for dinner. I strode up to his dark wood front door with my cloth covered basket and knocked.

There was silence for a moment before footsteps pounded towards the door and it swung open on silent hinges.

Azriel filled the entire threshold, dressed in a grey training tunic and leather training pants. His hair fell into his eyes, still wet from a shower. I hadn't realized I was starting until he blinked at me and ushered me inside with a soft come in.

“Just get done training?”

“Yes but I,” he rubbed the back of his neck “I hadn't expected you so soon,”

His house was minimally but nicely decorated. The walls were a pale grey and he had a painting probably made by Feyre of a cliff overlooking an ocean on the far wall. He had a couch and two white chars over an eggshell white rug. It was lovely.

“You must be hungry,” I said and turned back to him. His lips quirked in the lightest of smiles

“A bit,” he took the basket from me and started walking towards the kitchen. When he saw I hadn't followed he turned back to me with a curious look.

“Oh uh, I really should be going. I was just going to drop it off-,”

In two stride he was in front of me again. His beautify hand gently circled my wrist and pulled me forward. “Eat with me Elain, please. I wouldn't feel right just taking it,”

My stubborn front crumbled like a cracker and I finally allowed him to lead me to the kitchen. It was also simple, with grey-black marble countertops and white cabinets. He pulled out my chair for me to sit and began unpacking the food. He then grabbed some plates and forks.

We ate in near silence, only parted but the occasional question I asked or he asked. It was a comfortable silence that I could only share with Azriel.

We were washing the dishes together when a clock’s bell somewhere in the house struck out noon.

“Oh, it’s late! I’m sorry Az I have to go. Nesta wants me to go with her to the Library under the House of Wind,” I folded the navy towel I was holding and placed it by the sink. Azriel nodded and lead me back to the front door with a hand on the small of my back “I had a lovely time with you, but I always do,” I said with a wink as I pulled my cloak over my shoulders. Azriel leaned against the door frame with a content smile.

“As did I and the food was delicious by the way,”

“Thank you,” I smiled at him, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks. I cursed myself on the inside, stop blushing every time Azriel pays you a compliment! Azriel opened his mouth to say something and then closed it. He rightened himself and rubbed the back of his neck, letting his mouth open and close with unsaid words again.

Eventually, he settled on “Goodbye Elain,”

I felt myself deflate with that. What had he been trying to say? I nodded and let my eyes drop to look at the basket in my hands. “Goodbye Azriel,” I said with a small smile and finally swept down the stone path and out into the noonday sun.

.Thanks for reading!

#Azriel #elriel #elain archeron #elain x azriel #cooking #Feysand #nessian #cassian #nesta archeron #feyre #feyre archeron #rhysand #the inner circle #truthteller

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rhysand-vs-fenrys · 6 years

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The Cabin By the Lake: Chapter 1

Summary: Cassian has been keeping a secret- for the past 300 years he has been building cabins around a lake to house the Inner Circle and any family they might have. Five years after the end of ACOWAR, the cabins are finished and the Inner Circle descends for two weeks in paradise.

**Contains minor NSFW content.

>Chapter 1< || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 ||

*****This fic is marking 5,000 followers!! I want to thank each and every one of you for following me, but especially you (yes, YOU!!! Don’t tell the others). This page is less than a year old, and I’ve been absolutely blown away by warmth and kindness of this fandom. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings as Maas expands all the verses we know and love!!!!

Specially Dedicated To: @little-eidolon, @court-0f-dreamers, and @221b-impala-fezzz.

For my fanfiction library visit @rhysand-vs-rowan-vs-writing

To read on Archive of Our Own, click here.

The Cabin By The Lake: Chapter 1

Lush, green fields seemed to stretch on forever, utterly untouched by civilization.

Shades of green and gold Feyre had never even seen intertwined with one another under an endless blue sky. The cool summer breeze tickled her ear and brought only a hint of pine from the still-distant mountain forests. A clear, dazzling river snaked beneath them as they flew.

It was the most beautiful thing Feyre had ever seen.

“I think it’s time everyone took a break,” Mor tapped Feyre’s shoulder, jogging her from her daze. Mor’s eyes were fixed on Azriel, and the sweat dripping down his neck.

Feyre nodded, passed the message along to the others, and the group angled for landing.

Every time they stopped the landing was a little faster and a little harder. This being the third time they’d landed, a couple of the winged fae came closer to crashing.

None more so than Azriel.

“Anyone wants to get a drink or cool off in that river, I’ll slow the surface down.” Varian offered. He patted Azriel’s arm as the male released him and Amren.

“Water.” Azriel panted. His face was bright red and when he followed Varian to the river’s edge, he shook his arms to try and alleviate the trembling.

Feyre set Mor down, red-faced herself, and tried to roll her aching shoulders. Cassian was only too happy to let Lucien step out of his grip, and Rhysand set Elain down delicately on the tall grass.

“How do you do it?” Feyre panted as Rhys came to massage her neck, “Look at you- you aren’t even winded.”

“I probably will be after this last leg. It’s my turn to carry two. I think I’ll take Varian and Lucien- not great conversationalists, but they’re the heaviest.” Rhys kissed the back of Feyre’s head and added with a whisper, “Elain is lighter than Mor. Amren is the lightest, but she keeps squirming around. I don’t think she’s a fan of being flown places.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Feyre reached back to squeeze Rhys’ hand and he released her. She intertwined her fingers with his and they headed for the river’s edge to get a drink with everyone else.

“How close are we?” Azriel nudged Cassian once he’d taken his fill.

Cassian looked at the mountains around them, “Another hour and a half. We’re going into the wind and traveling a bit slower than I thought.” He turned to study Feyre, “How are you doing? I’m willing to pull double-duty if you need a break.”

“I’ll make it,” she promised.

“You sure? You’ve never done a long haul like this before. It’s a whole different kind of flying.”

Feyre just shrugged (then winced) and stepped up to Varian’s side, “Not going to lie, I’m glad we’re getting a couple week’s break.”

“After this I promise we can winnow,” Cassian’s smile was apologetic, “thank you for humoring me.”

Azriel rolled his eyes, “You didn’t give us much choice, did you? You just got back from your vacation, yet here you are taking another one.”

“As long as nothing bad happens while we’re away, a group trip sounds like a lot of fun.” Lucien smiled brightly.

Reflexively, many in the group looked to Elain for confirmation.

She sighed, “Well, Cassian said I’d be dead to him if I looked at anything regarding this trip or where we’re going, but Velaris will be fine, the Hewn City will be its usual horrible self, and no other Courts are looking at Night right now- including those wretched human queens. So… Best I can tell, it’ll be all fun and games… If that’s what it’s supposed to be.” She shrugged.

Cassian was being obstinately cryptic about this entire trip. No one even knew where they were going or how long it would take when they set out this morning. All they knew for sure was that Cassian said no luggage was needed and Nesta was already wherever they were going preparing lunch for the group.

“If we’re running slow, do you need me to pass along an updated arrival time?” Rhys dunked his entire head in the river before asking the question.

“No, we factored in buffer time before the meal.” Cassian smiled.

“Any hints? We’re close- please?” Mor took a drink.

“No hints.” He shook his head firmly. Cassian had never put so much effort into keeping a secret as he did this one. It was impressive- but still monumentally annoying.

No one in their party tried anything else to wring information out of Cassian. They’d been trying for three months- ever since he set the date for this vacation. He conspired only with Nesta, and the two of them were an impenetrable vault. All the others knew was that they had to be ready to go bright and early, the Illyrians (and Feyre) would be flying, and the rest would have to be carried. Cassian wouldn’t even give them enough information to winnow to this secret place.

“We’re on the border of Lord Eredem and Ilkin’s territories,” Rhys scratched his head and pointed south, “or at least, if we go about twenty miles that way we will be.”

In the five years she’d been High Lady of Night, Feyre had made a point of developing a decent mental map of her territory. She still didn’t know quite where Tamlin’s estate was in Spring, and she’d been there for half a year in all. The geography of the Night Court was something she’d studied from basic topography all the way down to who owned which land.

She felt Rhys slip into the antechamber of her mind where that map of Night was currently settled. She put a red pin where she thought they might be, and he adjusted it only slightly. They were in a sort of no-man’s land of the Illyrian Steppes- unclaimed territory.

“Cassian?” Rhys frowned, “Are we going into the spirit camps?”

“Yes.” Cassian flashed him a thumbs-up.

“Spirit camps?” Varian waited until Amren had her fill of water before he stepped away from the river and released whatever hold he’d taken on the current. The sound of running water increased exponentially as the uppermost layer of the water picked up speed once more.

Azriel actually looked impressed that Cassian was taking the group into that mysterious territory, “The Illyrians believe the souls of the dead who don’t move on into the afterlife have their own land on the northern edges of the steppes. ‘Spirit camps’ are exactly what they sound like. Their existence has never been verified, but all the northern camps claim to have seen them in the distance, and plenty of Illyrians sent to investigate strange lights or mysterious voices have been found dead from apparently nothing at all.”

“Save it for tonight,” Cassian patted him on the shoulder with a grin, “I love a good ghost story.”

“I don’t,” Elain shivered. Lucien instinctively moved to his wife’s side and surrounded her in a cocoon of warm air.

“How much risk is in this journey?” Varian had long since given up trying to read the Illyrian’s faces for signs of danger. They seemed to enjoy running headfirst into any manner of trouble. Besides, Cassian had a bit of a reputation in Summer.

Any time Varian caught himself thinking of the male as nothing more than the group’s comic relief, he remembered the ruined building in Adriata and the sheer death on his face when he led the Illyrian legions against Hybern. A male like that wasn’t afraid of anything a rational faerie would consider dangerous. Risk though- Cassian at least understood that word.

“No risk at all,” Cassian promised, “and I mean that in your sense of it. It’ll be a ghost-free trip.”

Everyone looked to Elain, who paused for effect but didn’t bother touching her power, “I don’t feel like there is any threat against us.”

“If anything goes wrong, I’ll call Bryaxis,” Feyre said.

“Why are you friends with that thing?” At the mention of his arch-enemy, Cassian paled.

“Cassian, it’s been five years since he started talking to us, how are you still scared of him?” Feyre rolled her eyes.

“HE. TRIED. TO. EAT. ME.”

“Once. One time.”

“YEAH, WHICH IS WHY I’M NOT A FAN!”

Rhys bit back his laugh and looked to Cassian with his most stern expression possible, “He said he’d be willing to apologize if you’d just visit.”

“HE’LL APOLOGIZE, THEN EAT MY LIVER!”

“At least he’ll apologize first though.”

“It’s a losing battle,” Lucien shook his head, “and I don’t know about you all, but I’m feeling a bit peckish. Maybe we should just head wherever we’re going?” It was a lie, but with only a little grumbling Cassian nodded and the group divided once more.

In truth, ever since the spirit camps were mentioned Elain had been weary, and he could feel that fear whispering down their mating bond. She shot him a relieved half-smile and squeezed his fingers.

The Illyrians waved over their wing-less cargo, and Rhysand did indeed take Varian and Lucien. Feyre missed the subtle look between Cassian and Azriel- but Mor tracked it, and the twitch of her eyes told Feyre something was afoot.

“I get Elain, don’t baby me,” she said.

Cassian had an arm out to pull Elain and Amren in, but he froze, “I wanted to race Rhysand, he won’t put money on it if we don’t have two each.”

Azriel rolled his eyes, “Seriously, Cassian? That’s the best lie you could come up with?”

“You didn’t exactly give me time,” he snapped.

“Feyre, we don’t mind the extra weight, and you’ve never tried this distance carrying another person. You made it most of the way- don’t strain yourself.” As Feyre’s flight tutor, Azriel was in the best position to get her to agree. Five years into their training and she was doing pretty well, but they didn’t have enough time to prepare her body for the added weight of a second person.

Feyre waved an unsure Elain over, “I made it this far, and I’m fine. I’m going all the way and if I overdo it then I’ll have two weeks to recover and can winnow back to Velaris anyways.”

What if I ask you to let them help? Rhys whispered in her mind.

I can do this.

I know you can, I do. I just don’t want to see you hurt yourself. I have plans for you tonight. He winked at her.

Truthfully, Feyre wasn’t entirely sure she could make it another hour and a half. Her wings were exhausted, and her muscles beginning to cramp. However, every time they stopped for a break the Illyrians shuffled around which of them was carrying two. One passenger each would have been simple work for the males, two wouldn’t be difficult over a shorter distance, but even sharing the extra weight, it was beginning to take its toll.

Feyre couldn’t look at the males straining themselves and not do anything to help. Besides, Cassian had been taking this trip every couple of days for the last week to help Nesta prepare. He had to be exhausted.

Elain stood on Feyre’s toes and waited while her sister lashed their bodies together with magic. She wrapped her arms around Feyre’s shoulders and before the males could argue with her any further, Feyre launched into the air and headed towards those distant mountains. Cassian flashed her an apologetic smile as he blasted past to lead the way.

I asked them to do that, Rhys brushed a phantom kiss to her lips, please don’t be angry.

I’m not angry, just disappointed and frustrated that I’m not helping share more of the load.

If it helps lighten your mood, would you like me to show you what I’m going to do to you tonight? A few images flickered through Feyre’s mind of Rhys’ face between her legs.

Only if you want me to do the same. You don’t mind flying with two males and an erection, right?

“Rhys is smiling,” Mor called out from Azriel’s arms, “if you two are being gross- knock it off.”

Rhys raised a large bubble of air around the group so that they could speak as they flew, “Just a little harmless teasing Mor.”

“She’s just grumpy because her lover couldn’t make it.” Cassian laughed. Amren flicked a sensitive spot on his wing in a very unfriendly way, “Ow! Evil little pest, not while I’m flying!”

Mor wasn’t bothered by Cassian’s taunt, she just rolled her eyes, “While I’m overwhelmingly grateful you all have been so supportive, we’re just not ready for you all to meet yet.”

“What does that mean?! We’re delightful!” Cassian turned his body just enough so that he could see Mor in Azriel’s arms.

“You’re also insane and she’s shy.”

Azriel snickered and Feyre bit back her smile.

Mor had been so worried about how the males would respond to her longest-kept secret… only to find out they’d guessed long ago. Hell, Rhysand apparently had been conspiring with Rita to fix Mor up with different females over the past few centuries. Mor was a different fae entirely with her secret out in the open at long last- one who was happier, brighter, and more self-assured than ever before.

It wasn’t until they all saw her without the weight of that secret that they realized what kind of toll it had been taking on her their entire lives. Mor had cried as she told them- just as she’d cried with Feyre- and braced herself for rage or dismissal. Instead, They’d each offered her a hug and apologized profusely for anything they may have done by word or deed to make her feel as though she couldn’t tell them.

Azriel, the one Mor was most worried about, had pulled her into a tight hug and simply said, “All I will ever want is to see you happy. I don’t care who that is with, as long as they are worthy of you.” His words only made Mor cry harder, and ever since that day everything had changed between them.

Somehow, knowing there wasn’t even the hint of a possibility of a chance something might begin between them also seemed to lift a weight off Azriel’s shoulders. He didn’t look at Mor with that aching love in his eyes, and the two seemed more relaxed around one another. They could joke and laugh more openly, and even when Mor announced just a few months ago that she had begun a relationship with a mysterious female he’d only smiled all the brighter.

Mor was so frightened of how they would handle her revelation, and even though they each had already guessed her truth, the entire Inner Circle was closer from that day on.

“Is your lady-suitor anyone we know?” Lucien asked.

Mor chewed on her lip, “Maybe. I’m not saying.” She poked Azriel in the ribs, “What about your mystery female? Is she anyone we know?”

“Maybe. I’m not saying,” he said. Whoever she was, he’d been seeing her for some time, since before Mor came out to the Inner Circle.

“I thought we were brothers!” Cassian snapped.

Azriel shrugged as best he could, “You’re insane and she’s shy.”

Mor cackled.

They’d flown in relative silence most of the morning, but on this final leg the group laughed and joked. They were all excited for whatever Cassian had planned, and even Elain and Varian joined in the fun. It made the Illyrians, and Feyre, forget the burning in their muscles as they flew with that unaccustomed weight.

Still, Feyre’s arms were beginning to tremble when she felt something in the distance- a wall starting on the side of a jagged mountain surrounded by dense forests. The sensation was eerily familiar, and as they drew closer, the rest of the group fell into silence.

“Cassian,” Rhys’ voice was low, “why does it feel like we’re approaching Velaris?”

“Did he just trick us into going in some giant circle?” Varian looked ahead to Amren.

“No,” Azriel frowned, “we’re nowhere near Velaris. We’re nowhere near anything.”

Feyre cast her power out in all directions. Azriel was right- there were beasts in the mountains, probably more than a few monsters, but no sign of faerie or Illyrian life.

“You moved Velaris warding stones?” Rhysand asked.

“Don’t get mad until you see why. Actually- do the thing.” Cassian glanced back.

“What thing?” Feyre looked to Rhys.

“You promised you would do it, no questions asked.”

Rhysand sighed, bit back whatever he wanted to ask Cassian, and projected his voice to Feyre and Azriel, “Keep flying in a straight line. You’ll see a dot of light to help you stay on track. Amren, it’s just a blindfold, we’ll all have them on too. Cassian- if you make any of us crash into anything I’ll bury you in a shallow grave.”

“As long as you leave flowers every now and then.” Cassian grinned as Rhysand released his magic, covering everyone’s eyes with an impenetrable black mist. Amren closed her own eyes as the fog settled over them, and Cassian felt a guiding tether secure to his body. Wherever he flew, they would be directed to follow.

“We’re not too far out, I promise.” He called back. No one replied.

Tired as she was, being sealed in near-complete darkness didn’t do anything to help Feyre’s strength. The laughing and joking made this last leg of their journey pass quickly, but now no one seemed to want to speak. She heard the flapping of wings, Azriel and Rhysand’s hard breathing, and even felt the parting of air behind Cassian, but no one broke the silence. Elain was by no means afraid of flying, but in the darkness she tightened her grip on her sister.

That distant pressure kept growing, but none of the flying members of the Inner Circle were particularly concerned with shields. They’d each flown in and out of Velaris enough to know that the pressure was nothing more than a way to ward off outsiders until the High Lord or Lady could approve their entry. Elain whimpered into Feyre’s neck and trembled.

They flew hard and fast for the barrier, and just as Feyre began to wonder if she would need another break after all, they hit it and passed through.

“Adjust for warm!” Cassian called out. Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel altered the angle of their bodies as temperature and humidity abruptly shifted. The scent of pine was thick wherever they were, and in the distance Feyre could hear the sound of water falling into either a lake or pond.

The smell of wood was different as they flew into wherever they were. The forest scents mingled with a sharp oak, cedar, and ash smell- something bitter-edged that spoke of freshly cut wood. Birds sang in distant trees, and Feyre felt a shadow of something in the ground below. It felt almost like-

“Whatever this place is, it was created by the Cauldron,” Cassian called back. “I think it was meant for us- for all of us.”

That magic- it was pure, raw life surrounding them. Under the Mountain was supposed to be where the Cauldron’s power flowed into the world, the apex of creation. This place- it could have been where all that creation ended up. Not in some bald, barren mountain, but hidden deep in the Night Court itself.

“Land in ten seconds, there’s plenty of room, but Feyre- don’t forget to plant your feet. You’ve got Elain on you.” Cassian called back to them, then his voice boomed across whatever water was beneath them, “NESTA! WE’RE HERE!”

“What the hell did you do to them?” Nesta’s voice was distant, but they were closing in fast.

“I wanted to make sure you saw their faces too. Aanndd- LAND! Smooth, hard surface!”

Instead of gliding onto the ground and jogging the last few steps, Feyre angled her wings sharply and dropped the last few inches straight down. With Elain strapped to her she couldn’t walk, so she severed the binds and helped her sister aside. Feyre put her hands on her knees and panted. She was utterly exhausted.

“Keep the wings out a bit,” Azriel ordered as though he could see Feyre tucking her wings tight to rest them, “you need the muscles to cool down properly. Tucking them in will just make them cramp.”

Rhys’ hand found her in the darkness, and he helped his wife to stand straight, “I’m proud of you.” His lips brushed her cheek.

“Alright everyone, before Rhys drops the blindfolds, please face my voice.” The group shifted on what felt to be a tile floor. Feyre heard the soft padding of Nesta’s feet as she came to her husband’s side. “Azriel and Rhys- do you two remember when I got lost in that blizzard?”

“Which one?” Rhys and Azriel spoke simultaneously.

“When you had to send a beacon up for me to find my way home?”

“Which time?” Again, they were in sync.

Cassian’s voice carried a definite edge to it, “When I bet Az I could fly back in that storm? And I couldn’t?”

“Which time?”

“Fine! Assholes.” Cassian growled, “Three hundred years ago I got lost in a storm-“

“-which time three hundred years ago?”

“AZRIEL AND RHYSAND, TAKE THREE STEPS BACK.” Cassian snapped.

Feyre heard them move and-

“SON OF A WHORE!” there were twin splashes and Rhysand bellowed as he and Azriel fell backwards into water. Lucien, Varian, Mor, and Feyre burst out in laughter at the sputtering and curses hurled by the two males.

They also each took a few steps forward.

Feyre could hear the smile in Cassian’s voice, “As I was saying. Three hundred years ago I got lost in a storm. The magic in this place guided me here, and I spent those cold days under the shelter of the trees. I wanted it to be my secret, then I decided it should be ours.”

Cassian waited until Rhys and Azriel pulled themselves out of the water. Feyre could hear them both growling.

“You can release the spell.”

Rhysand obeyed with a snarl, then went utterly silent. Light flooded Feyre’s eyes, but they adjusted quickly enough. When she could stand to open them-

“Cauldron,” Mor whispered.

A large wooden house rose in front of them, the entire front of which was made up of windows. Balconies jutted out from the second floor, large enough to accommodate several Illyrians taking off or landing. Another balcony lined up with the edge of the roof, offering an alternative if the others were busy.

The ground they’d landed on was actually a tile porch that extended out over the lake. It was dotted with patio chairs and edged in a rail on most sides- Rhys and Azriel having fallen off the back. When Feyre turned to look around them she put a hand over her mouth.

Six identical cabins spanned the shore of the most beautiful lake she’d ever seen. The sapphire water was impossibly blue, and the distant waterfall forked as it poured out of the mountains. Each cabin had a large gathering space between them. Feyre marked sparring rings, training grounds, an obstacle course, large group dining area, and a massive bonfire- fully stocked with wood.

“I built Rhys’, Azriel’s, and ours bit by bit- and the group areas. Amren’s was half-done when I brought Nesta here. Over the last five years we finished Amren’s and built Mor’s and Elain’s.” Cassian pointed to each cabin as he spoke, excited. “We made everything ourselves- right down to the furniture inside and out. The only stuff we bought were the foods in your store rooms, the linens, some hobby stuff- you’ll see- and dishes. If it’s wood, we made it.”

“Cassian,” Rhys stepped towards his brother, but his eyes were transfixed on the scene around them, “you did all of this?”

Even Amren was stunned, and she looked at Cassian as though he were some entirely new creature.

“You’re probably going to want to go over the housekeeping spells, I don’t think I got them quite right, but,” Cassian shrugged. His grin went from ear-to-ear, and Nesta was beaming with pride at her mate.

Mor pulled them both into a hug first, then the others stepped up. Lucien held back with sheer wonder on his face, “You- for us too?”

“The whole family.” Cassian nodded. He knew Lucien had never really been part of a family before, so once the male had proven himself trustworthy they’d become good friends.

“Shit Cass,” Azriel forgot to be angry over his soaking clothes. He gave his friend a hug, but only held a hand out to Nesta to protect her from the water that was still dripping, “This is incredible.”

“Wait until you see the inside of your cabin, each one is different- done to everyone’s taste.” Nesta smiled brighter than any of them had seen since the day she married Cassian, “I wasn’t great at making furniture, but decorating was always a strong suit. Oh, and everyone has plenty of clothes to choose from, if you want to clean up before lunch.” She cast an apologetic eye to Rhysand and Azriel’s soaking clothes.

Mor was gaping, “Wait, let me get this straight. Not only did you two build us each a house, we also get whole new wardrobes?”

“How much do I pay you?” Rhys looked again at the cabins around them.

“More than you should, but actually this is all courtesy of Kier.” Nesta said.

Everyone but Cassian froze, “What?” Feyre took a step back, suddenly weary of the paradise around them, “Did you say-“

“Four years ago, when we were in the Court of Nightmares, Kier approached me with an offer. He pulled the whole ‘you must be sick of your little sister ruling you’ thing, said he and I should rule together, and offered to pay handsomely for reports of the Inner Circle’s actions and affairs to be used to capture or kill you all later.” Nesta smile broadly, “I’ve sent him a new fiction every week since, and he responds in gold. Oh- if your father asks Mor, you’re having affairs with four Illyrian Lords, Elain- you’re cheating on Lucien with Azriel, and Lucien is actually impotent. Oh! Feyre- you and Rhys fight constantly.”

Azriel opened his mouth, but Nesta cut him off, “I only told him things that are completely false. Don’t worry, there are copies of all correspondences in your cabin for you to examine. Kier was talking long-term spying, for fae I figured that meant it was safe to keep quiet until the cabins were done. We can kill him later.” She smiled innocently.

Mor put her hands over her heart once more, stunned, “Is it my birthday?”

Feyre let out a nervous laugh, “You’re scarier than I’ve given you credit for Nesta. I’m glad you’re on our side.” She pulled her into a hug.

Nesta held her tightly, “I spent the first nineteen years of your life being a sorry excuse for a big sister. I’ll never make that mistake again. You can boss me around all you want for as long as you want, I don’t mind one bit. We’re only alive because of you.”

“You’ve given us the greatest gift possible,” Mor pushed Feyre aside to hug Nesta, “another excuse to kill my father.”

“I thought you’d like that.”

“Very much, yes.”

Cassian beamed as he accepted his hug from Mor, “We’ve been calling it your ‘moving in present’.”

Nesta thought her heart might burst as she felt Cassian’s pure, unbridled joy shining through their mating bond. This was what he’d been working towards for three hundred years, and the looks on their faces was everything he’d ever hoped for.

“I want a tour! Right now!” Rhysand was bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement.

“YES! Me too!” Elain grinned.

Cassian looked from Nesta to the group as others chimed in demanding tours of their cabins. He was excited, but he hadn’t exactly planned this part, “Absolutely! But- okay, each cabin is pretty different on the inside. So… which one do I show-“

“Start on one end, take us through them all.” Amren ordered. When the others looked to her she shrugged, “What? I’m nosey. I want to see.” The truth, which the others picked up on quickly enough, was that Cassian was so proud of his work it was the only gift they could give him in return: letting him show off each and every home, and see the reactions of those who would live there.

“All in favor?” Rhys raised his hand. Everyone followed suit, “Full tours of all the cabins! Nesta- is that alright with-“

“Lunch is fine whenever, don’t worry.” She smiled broadly. Actually, she’d burned part and needed Cassian’s help to start over. She wasn’t the cook of the two, but since Cassian had to fly the others to the lake she’d ended up with the task of preparing lunch.

Cassian led them through each and every cabin with a wild grin on his face that only grew each time they complemented his work and admired how perfectly suited each and every cabin was to the couple he’d made them for.

Elain and Lucien’s was done with pale yellow walls and shining honey-oak furniture. A large (and empty) herb garden wrapped around the side of the house with all the tools and supplies Elain would need to plant it exactly as she wished. The sitting room was overflowing with books on botany, recipe collections, and a healthy section of war epics that Lucien was practically addicted to. Cassian had built a small forge in the back, stocked with everything Lucien needed to make simple blades. It was a hobby he’d taken up in Spring that drew him into the blacksmithing quarters of Velaris at least once a week.

The master bed had been carved to look as though it was growing out of the floor itself, and as the Inner Circle filed out to see the rest of the upstairs, Cassian nudged Elain and Lucien and showed them the hidden buckles and loops for their decidedly sinful nighttime fun. He patted both on the shoulder and they filed from the room, red-faced.

Mor’s cabin was done solely to her taste with gilded furniture and thick scarlet rugs covering the floors. The wine cellar was stocked with her favorites from the vinyards around Velaris- the greatest selection being from a vineyard Azriel himself owned.

Her closet was the most difficult for Nesta to fill. She’d gone from shop to shop in Velaris, the Hewn City, and snuck into a few other courts looking for something that screamed “Morrigan”, all with no luck. In the end she’d reached out to Viviane, High Lady of Winter, and Abra, the Governess of the Palace of Thread and Jewels in Velaris. Abra had come up with a dozen new designs just for Mor, and Viviane had sent a few people winnowing to the human realm to find new fashions that her friend would enjoy. Evidently the selection pleased Mor- when they finished the tour of her cabin she stayed behind in her closet to try on everything.

Next was Rhysand and Feyre’s cabin. This one was outfitted with special fae lights angled towards the walls to illuminate artwork Feyre would one day hang. A few pieces that Feyre thought she’d painted for Nesta and Cassian were already on the walls- landscapes of Velaris as viewed from the sea. All the books in their cabin were a mix of epic adventures and sultry romances- anything Nesta had noticed Feyre reading. A specially enchanted desk covered most of one wall in the study and was linked to Rhysand’s desk in Velaris. Whatever he might need to work on, he’d be able to summon it in an instant. Most of Rhysand’s hobbies were based outdoors, and the group spaces held plenty of sports equipment to keep him entertained.

Cassian and Nesta’s cabin was simple and homey- and by far the most lived-in. It had served as Cassian’s base of operations as he built the rest of the complex, and most of the books inside were still devoted to everything construction.

Before he married Nesta, Cassian had cleaned out one of his planning rooms and converted it into a little office for her. Inside were five bookcases full of designs, rough sketches, paint samples, and wood stain chips relevant to specific cabins. She blocked the book cases marked “Amren” and “Azriel” from sight as best she could.

No surprises would be ruined.

Azriel’s cabin was dark- his curtains all black-out ones and he had fewer windows than the others (though the entire lake-facing side of the home was still glass). Silk sheets hung from the ceilings throughout and rich blue rugs embroidered in silver cushioned every step. The home was full of shadows and dark corners, and it had fewer open spaces than any of the others. At first, Nesta had been apprehensive about creating such structured chaos in the design, but Azriel’s face lit up like nothing she’d ever seen before. He took one step inside his new home and exploded into pure shadow that seemed to dance throughout, as though he were sampling every last scrap of darkness.

When his form solidified once more, he was breathless with excitement. “This is nicer than the House of Wind,” he grinned broadly. “And I can winnow, so I can just live here all the time if I want!” Cassian laughed and clapped his friend on the back.

Amren and Varian’s cabin was the most difficult for Nesta to design, and in the end she had to reach out to Tarquin for help. Sea-glass mosaics filled the base of all the washroom tubs, and delicately painted tile served as baseboards and framing on the arched doors. Mother-of-pearl tile covered the floor beneath hand woven rugs that looked like clouds or seafoam. As much sea-themed décor as she’d filled their home with, she put just as much pearl inside in a nod to Amren.

Nesta tried not to study the little fae’s face too much, but she was mildly terrified. Her apartment in Velaris looked like nothing more than a vessel to contain and shelter her, with very little to indicate Amren’s personal style. She’d acted largely on guess work of what her friend might like. Amren shook her head and turned to Nesta, “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” Varian could only nod, open-mouthed.

When everyone at last went off to their own cabins to clean up and change, Cassian was practically skipping hand-in-hand with his giddy wife.

“I can’t believe they did all of this,” Feyre shook her head. She walked back to the cabin with a hand over her heart and Rhys’ arm on her shoulder.

“It’s incredible.” He agreed.

“How long have you known about it?” She nudged him, “Your performance was perfect, but I know you.”

He snorted, then put a shield of air around them just in case Cassian had doubled back for any reason, “It wasn’t entirely an act... I knew the second he touched the Velaris ward stones three hundred years ago. I followed him out here a few times and waited to see what he was doing. When I realized he was building something, I stopped coming. I figured it was his job to tell me when he wanted to.”

Feyre stood on the tips of her toes to kiss Rhysand’s cheek, “You’re a good brother.”

“I know, I’m pretty damn special,” he said.

“’Special’, ‘wet’, ‘stinky’.” Feyre shrugged, “Really a lot applies to you.”

“Well, my darling mate, you smell like a wonderful-“

“-be honest-”

“-ly sweaty fae in desperate need of a shower.” Rhys waved a hand in front of his face, “Cauldron boil me, you stink. Wow, my eyes are watering right now. You know, I might be going blind from the stench alone.”

Feyre laughed and shoved Rhys as hard as she could. Either through her abilities or because he was in a good mood, Rhys went sailing foot-over-head into the lake once more.

When he surfaced only far enough for Feyre to see those violet eyes lock on her, she screamed at the mischief in them and took off running for their cabin at top speed. If her wings weren’t so damn tired, she’d have flown.

Rhys burst out of the water, his wings re-formed behind him, and just as Feyre got a finger on the door, he snatched her up and shot up into the sky. When they were even with the cabin roof he dropped her straight into the middle of the lake.

She hit the water hard- but a cushion of air he threw around her back kept her wings from being jarred too much. Still, when she tried to breach the surface of the lake, her wings just kept pulling her back in. Amusement shifted towards panic as Feyre tried to kick and her curved wings filled with water. She gained less than an inch, and the surface was still far above.

Her stolen power from Summer thrashed in her veins, but it was more attune to salt water than fresh, and in her growing fear it wasn’t exactly responding. A bubble of air formed around her mouth as the darkness closed in.

Relax. Rhysand commanded softly. Stop moving I’ll show you what to do.

His voice in her mind, more even than the oxygen he’d supplied, calmed that frightened piece of her soul. Feyre obeyed and she felt his power circling her wings. Slowly, it pushed against them until they were stretched out awkwardly behind her. It felt odd and unnatural, but when Feyre kicked her legs the magic shifted the wings slightly so that just the ends swayed in the water behind her, aiding her movement.

A ripple went through her wings, less of a full flap and more of a roll. Feyre gave a few hard jerks in that strange position before she managed to replicate the round way in which she had to shift her wings. When she got it right, the effect was immediate. Feyre shot through the water for the surface, broke free of the water, and actually managed to rise a few feet in the air- enough for her to suddenly snap her wings around again and take off.

It was awkward, something pulled in her left shoulder, but she was free.

And pissed.

“RHYSAND! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

Rhys was nowhere to be seen.

Azriel stood on the balcony of his cabin with raised eyebrows, “I wouldn’t have suggested learning to swim like that.” Amusement danced in his eyes.

Feyre flipped him off and shot for the cabin. She was going to rip Rhysand apart for that little stunt (even if she was the one who started it).

She landed on the balcony hard and only the magic embedded in the house kept her from ripping the door off its hinges as she entered. The upper sitting room was empty, but Feyre followed Rhys’ scent to their bedroom, then through it and into the bathing room.

He was sitting innocently in the large marble tub. When Feyre entered he slapped an arm over his nipples, forced a loofa beneath the water to cover his crotch, and gasped, “Feyre! A little privacy would be nice!”

“Prick.” She spat.

Rhysand only smirked and dropped the scandalized act, “Turnabout is fair play. And besides- I wouldn’t let you come to any harm. You could have dropped the wings any time.”

Feyre’s cheeks heated- he was right, and it was the one thing she hadn’t thought of in her mild panic, “That’s beside the point!”

“Just remember: if you kill me, you won’t get to enjoy it for long.” He held up his tattooed arm and smiled.

“You’ve never been so-“

“Handsome? Sexy? Desireable?” Rhysand purred.

“Punchable.” Feyre said. Rhys pouted, which only made her snort, “Oh wait, it’s even more tempting now.”

“My mate hates me that much. Sigh.”

“You’re asking for it, aren’t you?”

Rhysand laughed at last and- dammit- a half-smile crept onto Feyre’s face, “Would my mate allow me to bathe her to make up for my completely immature behavior? I mean, throwing someone in a lake- that’s just childish, base, undignified, and downright idiotic.”

Feyre growled a warning, but began to tug her wet clothes off all the same. Rhysand swallowed hard when her shirt came off. His eyes were locked on her breasts with predatory focus- at least until she pulled her pants down. Then he didn’t know where to look. He licked his lips.

She stepped down into the tub, moaning at the delicious heat of the water. Her muscles were beginning to ache from the exhausting flight, and her shoulders felt suddenly stiff. She’d carried Mor most of the journey, then Elain. Neither female was exactly light, especially when it took so much more effort to keep them both in the air.

“Put the wings away for a little bit,” Rhysand murmured, “you’ve cooled down enough.”

Without a second thought, they vanished in black mist. Feyre glared at Rhysand as she walked over to him. He put his hands on her hips and turned her slowly so that her back was to him, then tugged her down into the water. Feyre groaned as that heat completely enveloped her.

Rhysand held her against his chest, arms wrapped around her stomach, and rested his forehead on her shoulder, “Am I really in trouble?” A hint of genuine worry lit his voice.

“It depends on how good the bath is,” she murmured, then leaned her head back to kiss his temple. “I’ll get my revenge later if need be.”

“I look forward to it.” Rhysand kissed just behind Feyre’s ear. He hesitated, then huffed, “You’re cold.”

“Someone put me in a lake… After I threw them in.”

“Oh, you’re acknowledging that now?” he laughed, then picked up the loofa from where it floated. He held it over the back half of Feyre’s head and gently squeezed hot water onto her scalp. Goosebumps rose across her skin, and Rhysand smiled as she let out a long breath of air.

Their bath wasn’t sexual- both knew if they started that up they’d be late to lunch. Rhys simply enjoyed the feeling of his mate against his skin, and the happy little noises she made as he massaged shampoo into her scalp and rubbed some of the building ache from her shoulders. Feyre turned on his lap and straddled his hips to wash his hair, and Rhysand buried his face between her breasts, enjoying them while she worked.

“Am I forgiven, o sensitive one?” Feyre laughed.

Rhys reached up to give one nipple a friendly pinch as he nodded, face still planted, “Am I forgiven?” his voice was muffled and he sucked on a bit of skin at the inner edge of one breast.

“For now… But once I finish rinsing you off, we do need to get out of the bath. You’re going to have to let me go sometime.” She adjusted her power to take hold of the water in the tub- glared at how much easier it was now than in the lake- and directed a stream to pour over Rhysand’s head until every last bubble was washed away.

“All done?” he asked her chest.

“All done. Now let me go so I can stand up.”

Rhys grunted something that sounded like “Nuh-uh” and shook his head. He adjusted his arms around her torso so that her breasts were more firmly pushed against his cheeks.

“Can you even breathe now?” Feyre raised an eyebrow.

“Nuh-uh.” He grunted again and stood. Feyre laughed as Rhys carried her blindly from the tub. He kept shaking his head, rubbing his eyes against her breasts. Rhys made happy little noises for a while, then stopped beside the vanity. He sighed, whimpered a little, and at last set Feyre down.

Rhysand took an exaggerated gasp of air before looking at her breasts, “Goodbye, my loves.” He gave a kiss to each nipple, then grinned at Feyre, “The face is my favorite part.”

She kissed him with her eyes open and her hands on her hips, which only made Rhys break down in laugher when he stepped back. Feyre lost the ability to control her expression and in the end they were laughing together.

“You’re a child.” She said at last. Rhys only giggled again.

He went off to the closet to fetch some lightweight clothing- linen pants that came only to his knees and a loose shirt. He passed Feyre some suspiciously conservative underclothes and a long, breezy dress, “Swimming clothes,” he explained. “The dress is for lunch, then you strip, the males lose their shirts, and we all go into the lake.”

Feyre held up the garments. They were a strange fabric, stretchy, and seemed designed to hug her body and stay put, no matter what. Rhys pouted as she pulled the top half on and her breasts were covered.

“Wait!” Rhys panicked when Feyre bent down to pull on her underpants. She straightened and he dove for her legs. On his knees, Rhys wrapped his arms around her hips and gave a kiss to her mound, “I didn’t forget about you darling.” He kissed her again as she rolled her eyes, “I’ll see you later.”

“Are you done? Can I get dressed?”

Rhys grabbed her hips and spun Feyre around. He kissed each side of her rear, “Ok, I’ve said my farewells.”

Feyre just shook her head and pulled up the bottoms. Rhys sighed and stood, “Three hundred and twenty eight days.”

“What?”

“Until our anniversary week.” Rhys nodded to himself, “Three hundred and twenty eight days… I think I can survive.”

She snorted and sat down at the vanity to comb her hair. On the anniversary of their mating each year they spent a week all alone, usually at the palace atop the Hewn City (since the House of Wind was still Azriel’s primary residence). During that week of passionate sex to rival their mating itself, the house rules were simple: No clothes. Rhysand and Feyre were still as giddy and in love as they had been ten years before- and they would be like that their entire lives- but something about that week was special. Everything was heightened, everything felt stronger, as though the mating bond itself were celebrating too.

“I suppose when it rolls around again we could come here, if no one else is around.” Feyre mused.

“That would be very nice. I’ve been wanting to go to the cabin we mated in but the others voted on that stupid rule.” The couples who were mated in the Inner Circle- Feyre and Rhysand, Cassian and Nesta, and Elain and Lucien- were not allowed to turn any space used by the group into their mating nest. Group spaces remained for the group. Somehow the townhouse had been lumped into that, though bedrooms were exempt from the rule.

Feyre braided half of her hair from above one ear, across her forehead, and ended with a long plait that fell down her shoulder. It would keep everything out of her face, but still let the rest flow freely.

When she turned around, Rhysand had mimicked her style with his own hair. “Am I pretty too?” he winked.

She burst out laughing and he released the glamour on his normally styled hair, “You’re in a good mood today,” she wheezed when she could speak.

“I’m in one of the most beautiful places in the world, given to us by one of my best friends in the world, and with the most incredible female ever to exist.” He sighed happily and bent to pull up his swimming shorts.

“Wait-“ Feyre slid to her knees. Rhys grinned as she lifted his cock and wrapped her lips around the tip. She brushed the tip of her tongue across the head and slipped away from it, “You’re my favorite part,” she whispered, then kissed it simply and stood, “All done.”

He grinned, “Oh no, by all means, take your time. Who am I to stand in the way of love? You two should talk some more, really catch up.”

Feyre surged forward and claimed her husband’s mouth with hers. She wrapped her hand around his cock and began to pump it, slid her other hand to the tender edge of his wing where he was most sensitive. Rhys’ entire body flinched into her touch and he held her tight.

With a simple maneuver, Feyre dropped down and slid out of his embrace. She left Rhysand breathless and stumbling, “There. Now we’re even. Have fun talking him down.” She shot a look at the rising consequence of her sudden attack.

Rhysand gaped at her, then down at his cock. He whipped a drop of precum from the tip and held it up, “Look at this! You made him cry!”

“I’ll make him bawl later.” She fluttered her lashes and pulled her dress on.

“Cruel, wicked little monster.”

“Hurry up, lunch will be ready any second.” Feyre left Rhysand with a mix of indignation and amusement on his face. As soon as the bathroom door closed behind her she let a giggle escape.

Ten minutes later Rhysand came out, nipped her ear with a growl, and they wandered down for lunch.

“Was that you I heard scream, or Rhysand?” Mor was the first one in the dining area, but the Inner Circle were all wandering over at their own pace. She had a gauzy scarlet wrap-around dress on beneath which her gold swim clothes were just barely visible. Her hair was tightly coiled and Feyre had a feeling she’d be the one to watch out for when everyone was in the water.

“He threw her in the lake, and she’s never tried swimming with wings.” Azriel crossed his arms and studied Feyre and Rhysand’s body language. When he decided their stance meant there was no trouble in paradise, he relaxed.

Elain and Lucien wandered over, her arm in his, and looked like a proper couple out for a stroll. Her lilac dress and carefully styled hair told Feyre she wasn’t planning on joining them in the water. Lucien had the same shorts on as the other males, and he kept glancing at the water as though he was tempted to dive in now.

“Rhysand, don’t be horrible.” Elain rolled her eyes.

He grinned, “I’m always horrible.”

“That’s the truth.” Amren and Varian arrived next- both wearing only their swim clothes and not bothering with any sort of cover-up.

“Oy! Rhys, help bring the food over.” Cassian shouted from the porch of his cabin. Rhysand sent his magic towards his friend, found the outline of several large platters, and he winnowed them onto the long table.

Azriel’s eyes went wide as he saw what Nesta (and Cassian) had made. He was the first to sit down and grab what Feyre thought was some kind of towel rolled up on top of the platters. Dozens of them were neatly rolled and stacked in little pyramids, but when Rhys grabbed one to set it in front of her she was hit by a slightly spicy aroma.

They weren’t towels- they were large disks of a sponge-like bread, thin as a pancake but filled with tiny pockets of air. Rhys shoved his entire roll into his mouth and grabbed another. He nudged Feyre and nodded encouragement. She tore off a corner of hers and tasted it. There was a spice to it she couldn’t place, but beyond that it wasn’t too different from sourdough bread.

“It’s called injera, it’s an Illyrian thing, and they’re all addicted to it.” Mor cast a worried look from Rhys to Azriel, in case either choked on the bread they were shoveling into their mouths, “You’re supposed to wait for the actual food.”

“This is the most important food in the world,” Azriel said with utmost sincerity, “I love it more than any of you.”

“Same.” Rhys nodded.

“Then why have I never seen it before?” Feyre liked Illyrian food, but they rarely ate the complex dishes in the house. It took a long while to prepare, and the spices were difficult if not impossible to find in Velaris. Still- the way the males were shoving it in their faces surprised Feyre.

“Because Cassian is the only one who can make it right and he says if we have it too often we won’t appreciate it.” Azriel swallowed.

“I’ve been with you for five years.”

“Right,” Cassian came up behind her, “so it was time to make it again.”

“He makes it for me whenever I ask,” Nesta smiled.

They were each carrying massive, heavy platters lined in injera and piled with different shredded meats and pastes. When they set them down, a cacophony of smells warred for Feyre’s attention, each more delicious than the next, “The more red it is, the hotter it is. Don’t touch the black stuff, Elain. The green is mostly avocado, and the pale stuff is chicken.” She sat down across from Cassian and grabbed a tube of bread. Nesta waved a hand and short glasses of cold milk appeared in front of everyone to help with the spices.

“Like this,” Rhysand nudged Feyre. He pulled a sliver of injera from his third roll and used it to pinch the thick meat of a red stew. Using the bread just as Feyre would a spoon or fork, he brought the meat to his mouth and ate the entire thing.

Feyre tore off some bread and angled for a paler part of the dish, one less spicy than what Rhys had chosen. She was aware of everyone’s eyes on her as she pinched the meat into the bread and took a bite.

It was the most incredible thing she’d ever tasted. The slightly sour flavor of the bread didn’t just mix with the sharp spices of the stew- it enhanced them. Cinnamon, cumin, ginger, cardamom, and spices she couldn’t even begin to name mixed together in the best ways possible. The meat dissolved in her mouth, lending its taste to the other flavors.

Feyre looked up wide-eyed to see the others grinning.

They launched themselves at the food. Varian was used to softer flavors that accented seafood more, but once he had a taste of the black dish even the Illyrians were eating sparingly, he was in love. No matter how red his face got or how much he was sweating, he refused to even consider the palate-cleansing side of either platter.

“You’d better not make yourself sick,” Amren nudged him even as she took her fourth bite in a row of the black dish.

Varian only kissed the tip of her nose before going back to his food.

Mor seemed to favor a slightly orange dish she explained was something akin to chicken curry. Feyre only managed a handful of bites (literally) before the spice forced her towards the avocado. Usually she avoided the green mush like the plague, but she needed something to cool her mouth.

Elain ventured as far as a pale red stew before quickly and emphatically returning to the mild side of the platter.

Lucien only knew Illyrian cooking from the first days after their war with Hybern and the few dishes Cassian had prepared for the group over the years. Still, his tolerance of spice was roughly equal to Rhysand’s, so he followed the High Lord around the platter, pushing even his tastebuds to their limits.

Eventually the spice of the injera built up in Feyre’s mouth and everything tasted too hot. Content with what she’d eaten, she picked up a glass of milk and downed the entire cup in one go. Mor and Elain finished moments later, with Lucien, Amren, Nesta, and Varian following.

They watched as Cassian, Azriel, and Rhysand began some sort of unspoken competition. They kept eating, casting sharp glances to one another all the while. Eventually their breathing became more labored, their swallows harder, and their bites smaller. Still, they would not stop.

Feyre frowned, “Is there some benefit to being the last one to finish? A superstition or something?”

Mor rolled her eyes, “No.”

Rhysand and the other two males answered at the same time she did, “Yes.”

They ate until even those watching were uncomfortable. Only when Azriel snatched the very last chunk of injera off the bottom of the stew platter were they finished. All three were slightly green, and even as Azriel pumped his fist into the air to signal his victory, his expression was closer to regret.

Nesta sighed and snapped her fingers. The table filled with steaming hot mugs of green tea, “Drink it you idiots, it’ll help.”

“I have more teff,” Cassian moaned to the males. “We’re going to have a rematch at the end of week two.”

“It’s Illyrian for lunch every day,” Nesta informed the others. “By the end of it we’ll have to winnow back to Velaris. If they keep eating like that only Feyre will still be able to fly.”

“That’s probably true,” Rhysand was completely serious as he drank his tea. “We’re safe from Cassian’s cooking in Velaris, it’s just a pain to get the right spices and winnowing to the camps for ingredients is tedious.”

“I planted a spice garden,” Cassian smiled. “It’s out where I grew the lumber for the cabins, but there’s a whole field. The growers guild in Velaris taught me a few spells to make it largely self-managing.”

“Oh that’s dangerous,” Azriel laughed, “now we know how to get more out of you. You’re the best cook in the Inner Circle, and the best homebuilder,” he raised his mug in a toast. Everyone let out a cheer of agreement as Cassian smiled. “Nesta is the best at designing,” he toasted her next.

Mor nodded, “That closet is magical. Where did you find everything?”

“Abra,” Nesta smiled, “and Winter has some trading ties with the human lands. Viviane made some inquiries and had some stuff brought back for Abra’s people to replicate.”

“I assume Tarquin supplied all the shells and sea glass?” Varian asked. Nesta nodded, “What you two did with it is amazing. Don’t be surprised if he tries to get you both to help remodel the palace in Adriata.”

“I’m sorry, but I have a strict rule when it comes to Summer,” Cassian put a hand over his heart, “demolition only.”

“Will someone please tell me that story?” Feyre rolled her eyes.

Cassian and Varian looked at one another for a long while before both shook their heads, “Funnier if we don’t.” Cassian said.

“We’ll tell you… On your five-hundredth birthday,” Varian smiled.

Tell me. Feyre shot the thought at Rhysand.

He put a hand over his heart and looked scandalized, “Feyre! You would have me dishonor my friendship with these males by betraying their wishes?!”

Cassian gasped, “Feyre?! Traitor!” He pouted, “See if I build you another house this century.”

Lucien snickered into his tea. Elain and Nesta just rolled their eyes. Mor and Amren were nodding along with Cassian’s offended act, so Feyre knew they wouldn’t be any help.

“Fine. I’ll wait.” Feyre made a mental note to write Tarquin, Cresseida, and Alis. Cassian and Varian might get to the first two, but Alis was her friend. As a citizen of Summer, she had to know the story of the Night Court monster who destroyed part of the capitol. “Wait- I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before, but I have a question.”

“You can ask, but we won’t answer.” Varian crossed his arms.

“Cassian was banned from Summer for the incident, and you all thought the Night Court was just a bunch of brutes back then-“

“My actions may have cemented that belief,” Cassian took a long drink of tea as though he were proud of himself.

Feyre waved him off, “My question, I guess, is why he didn’t get a blood ruby. We just stole a book and Tarquin was ready to kill us. We didn’t break anything.”

Rhys winced, “I mean, technically the book we stole broke the cauldron and I had to die to fix it, but yeah. Didn’t break anything. Sure. It was just a simple book theft.”

“You know what I mean,” Feyre rolled her eyes.

Varian snickered, “Oh, our father sent him a ruby.”

“I sent it back with a note that if they were trying to flirt with me they should send diamonds instead.” Cassian earned a round of laughter from everyone at the table- even Amren chuckled at the memory.

“Before that day I didn’t even think my father knew how to curse,” Varian said.

Cassian patted his shoulder, “You’re welcome.”

“For what?”

“Helping you get to know your father a little better.”

Varian laughed so hard he began to wheeze.

Rhysand laid his head on Feyre’s shoulder as the conversation moved on. He was beginning to feel the strain of the flight in and the early morning that came before it- not to mention a very full stomach and the excitement of seeing the lake. He was weary to the bone, but as happy as it was possible to be.

Are you falling asleep, old fart? She whispered to his mind.

Only a little.

Well don’t, you still have to teach me how to swim with wings. She sent a pulse of love down their bond, enough to let him know he was obligated to do no such thing. If he was tired, he could rest all he wanted.

“I’m going to sit in one of the lounge chairs,” Rhysand announced, straightening up. “I need to streamline my digestion so I can swim and not sink.” He looked around at the porches jutting out over the lake. Each of them had long, low wooden chairs that could recline.

“Go sunbathe princess, join us when you’re ready.” Lucien sketched a mock bow from his seat. Five years, and he finally had the courage to joke with Rhys.

Feyre stood with her mate and stuck out her tongue at the fox, her oldest friend in all of Prythian. She followed Rhysand over to the porch as the others began to strip away their cover-ups. Elain moved to Cassian’s porch and sat down on the cool tile with her skirt bunched up and her legs in the water. Lucien dropped in, mindful not to splash her, and swam around her feet. Nesta waited for Cassian to change before running and jumping as high into the air as possible over the lake. Cassian caught her and flew straight up to dump her in the water- just as Rhysand had done with Feyre (except Nesta expected her mate to do just that).

Mor and Azriel had a race from the shore to the waterfall, and Varian sprouted a tail before vanishing beneath the surface to explore the depths. Amren barely knew how to swim, and she stayed on an underwater outcropping Cassian had built, up to her neck in the cool blue water.

Everyone was so preoccupied in what they were doing that they didn’t realize until nearly an hour later that Rhysand and Feyre hadn’t joined them. Elain stood and looked over to where Rhys had gone.

He was stretched out on a lounge chair with his wings draped across the porch to bake in the afternoon sun. One arm was across his eyes, the other held Feyre against his side. Both were asleep, but whenever Feyre’s stretched wings twitched, Rhysand pulled her tighter against his body, as though even in sleep they would protect one another from anything.

Elain smiled, and both Cassian and Azriel came out of the water to see what she was looking at.

Azriel smiled softly, “I never thought I’d see Rhys so… peaceful.”

“She’s perfect for him,” Cassian agreed. “They look like nothing in this world could ever worry them...”

“Dunk them in the lake?” Azriel looked to his brother.

“Oh hell yes.”

>Chapter 1< || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 ||

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allthebooksbefore · 3 years

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a court of wings and ruin / sarah j. maas

book #21 of 2021 started: sometime in may (i forget lol) finished: june 30th

what it's about: "feyre has returned to the spring court, determined to gather information on tamlin's actions and learn what she can about the invading king threatening to bring her land to its knees. but to do so she must play a deadly game of deceit. one slip could bring doom not only for feyre, but for everything - and everyone - she holds dear. as war bears down upon them all, feyre endeavors to take her place amongst the high fae of the land, balancing her struggle to master her powers - both magical and political - and her love for her court and family. amidst these struggles, feyre and rhysand must decide whom to trust amongst the cunning and lethal high lords, and hunt for allies in unexpected places... the fate of feyre's world is at stake as armies grapple for power over the one thing that could destroy it."

what i liked: the way it took two and a half books to actually get to the war lol... but all of that build up was so necessary to make the stakes higher and make it all hit home more. i loved feyre and rhys' last few moments at the townhouse, the chapter where feyre and her sisters reunited after feyre and azriel saved elain (and they slept next to each other like they begrudgingly used to when they were humans) (really all of the sisterly moments between feyre and nesta), rhys' speech before the last battle - it was all so bittersweet. feyre's ruse with lucien at the beginning of the novel - i.e. her coming onto him to piss off tamlin - was interesting. i know he felt guilty for not being there for feyre in the past, and maybe he just got caught up in the moment, but he fell right into her traps (they almost k i s s e d). it was kind of surprising because 1) he had very clear suspicions of her when she came back to the spring court, 2) he knew he was mated to elain, and 3) his unyielding loyalty - though perhaps faltering - to tamlin. also, i mentioned this back in book one, but i like how feyre often needs help, makes mistakes, or straight up doesn't know what to do... turning the spring court against tamlin (which was kind of savage at the time but ended up having negative consequences); when she left one of the battles against hybern without telling anyone (and people were pissed at her); when she couldn't fly (and tamlin helped her); when she felt utterly useless at times during the war. she has a lot of confidence, but also has her own faults and insecurities - it makes her seem more real than a heroine who constantly kicks ass. i also liked how she made her peace with tamlin, giving him that note. i hope we can see him redeem himself in the future, watch him learn how to be a stronger leader, learn how to calm the rage inside of him. switching gears… jurian. i LOVED that he pulled a rhys and ended up working for the greater good. i had a feeling he would... while in the spring court, he would insinuate to feyre that he knew she was putting on an act, winking at her like they were in on something together. interested to see how his storyline plays out, especially with myriam and drakon. also, mor. i didn’t expect that she was going to come out (at earlier points i thought maybe amren, nesta or both), but i wasn’t necessarily surprised. there had to be a solid reason why she was stringing cassian and azriel along for so long. what was kind of annoying in retrospect, though, was how she kept inserting herself into these moments between cassian and nesta. i get she has a sense of protectiveness over her friends, but i feel like she was being more protective over that love triangle to save face, and it makes me sad for her and the two men. they deserve to find love, not be stuck in this 500-year-old game. i also loved when, during the final battle, feyre removed the glamour around the bone carver and byraxis, only for rhys to remove his own glamour around the weaver - we stan a couple on the same wave length. omg and when we got to see nesta and elain team up to take down the king of hybern - how the author used the grip the cauldron had on feyre to bring us there and witness it versus randomly giving us nesta/elain’s point of view… i’m glad nesta and elain got to each have their moment.

what i liked, continued: FATHER ARCHERON. i had a strong feeling he was going to appear at that heart of the war - the fact that he was mentioned here and there as being away on business, without a second thought, made that one a bit obvious, but i thought he was going to either have joined hybern in a deal to get his daughters back, or would have been captured by hybern as bait. but he was strong and good and RALLIED TROOPS to fight, in ships named after his daughters (lead by the NESTA). UGHHH. it was a bit cheesy but SO CUTE. what was a little muddy, though, was the fact that he just left nesta and elain behind? did he try returning for them but they weren’t there, or learned of their fate from vassa before he could? or did he know in his heart that feyre would come back for them? ANYWAY. it was nice to see him redeem himself. now let’s talk about miss amren. part of me was thinking that someone in the group would be revealed to be working for hybern's cause, but i left that theory behind. but then, at the cauldron, amren revealed that she lied to feyre, and i was so taken aback, thinking she had ulterior motives, hybern or no. but then i thought, wait... she probably lied that they needed more “made-fae” power to nullify the cauldron, that it had to be only feyre. kind of like the "protective" necklace she gave feyre when she was going to visit the bone carver for the first time - a placebo to give her inner strength (which was sort of true). but then once amren said she needed feyre to kill her... queue the hermione granger "hE's gOiNg tO sAcRiFicE hImSeLf" moment. BRO. after the suriel and feyre were talking about needing to die to nullify the cauldron, part of me thought tamlin would sacrifice himself. but AMREN not just unleashing her beast form but accepting a certain death... BEAUTIFUL. lastly, changing course to the ending... RHYS' DEATH. i had a feeling back in book two that he would end up dying because he's just too GOOD. something bad had to happen. what i didn't expect, though, was the entire series coming full circle and all the high lords bringing him back to life, and then rhys bringing AMREN BACK WITH HIM. UGHHHHH. we STAN.

what i didn't like: i get there's a lot of content to get through, but the author just completely cuts out storylines only to bring them back when it's convenient and it could be a little distracting. lucien is a perfect example - he left to go find vassa, and then was never mentioned again until he reappeared during the last battle. feyre couldn't have had a passing thought about him once or twice? wonder if he's okay out there?

things i'm thinking about: i'm worried about nesta, but she always pulls through. i think she'll start taking her training more seriously, too. i'm also worried about rhys - will he suffer any major effects of being revived? it almost felt a little too easy. plus, although the war is over, there is still so much to consider - bryaxis on the loose. vassa, and the death-lord she is cursed to. the mortal queens. the ramifications of the cauldron’s whereabouts. jurian. the people remaining people of hybern (and who takes over the throne). the new treaty. amren’s abilities now that she’s solely high fae. eris, and his fight for beron's crown. alis - is she ok? what role will the human girl they saved from hybern's camp play going forward? and then, of course, all of the relationships - mor and viviane's sister were hinted at. and then azriel + mor + cassian of course. nesta and cassian (CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO PLAY OUT MORE). azriel getting over mor (and his soft spot for elain?). elain and lucien. lucien and helion. lucien and his family. lucien and tamlin. amren and varian. UGH so much left to resolve.

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writevswrong · 7 years

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FANFIC * NESSIAN * PART ELEVEN

Nessian Part Eleven by L.J. LaFleur

I can do this. Dinner. I’ve done it many times before. Pushing boundaries, pushing my nerves until I have none. Easy.

I let my hair down, free of braids and decorations. Golden-brown waves flowed to the middle of my back, brushing itself against the dusty purple gown. Plain except for a silver-embroidered star on my left shoulder. Oblong silver beads, trailed down the metallic thread creating the illusion of a shooting star.

The silky dress hugged every curve--from the sleeves down to my knees before flaring out into a semi long train. A fairly high, sheer neckline that revealed my collarbone and a decent amount of cleavage.

Each step felt like its own battle, but I made it to just outside the dining room. Their voices danced out into the hallway, laughter and unsettling joy. I didn’t understand how they could be so unchanged, untainted by our father’s death. By the war. How could they not feel what I felt? The ever-growing sorrow not just for our father, but the fallen too. Instead of trying to understand, I walked into the dining room.

Voices died down, an exchange of odd looks around the table but one.

Cassian dropped his fork, his jaw soon following before Azriel lifted it back up. His eyes bored into mine, after ravaging me from head to toe.

“I’m sorry to intrude…” I started, feeling uneasy by their stares—maybe I shouldn’t have come.

“You’re not.” Cassian spoke before anyone could, unable to peel his eyes off of me.

I felt my heart skip, no, stop. It literally sunk into my stomach as I took in his staggering appearance. Cassian’s massive wings looked freshly clean, his wavy obsidian hair combed and released to his shoulders. He was a sea of fire, of untouchable beauty that I wished to see more of.

But something was off, I held his attention, noticing the damage—the pain in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. I looked away, my eyes drifting downwards, scanning over the growing circles beneath his beautiful eyes. Descending towards his wings, retracing the countless scars...

“Sit by me,” Amren interrupted.

My focus shifted from Cassian to the petite devil then back at the haunted warrior. I didn’t reply, instead I clenched my jaw—fighting the onslaught of words that wanted to race out of me.

“We have much to catch up on,” Amren purred, patting her seat. Her silver eyes flickering with delight as she looked between me and Cassian.

It took every bit of energy to look away from his copper shields. I sat in between Amren and Rhysand. Conversations continued while I loaded my porcelain plate with mixed vegetables and a mini loaf of bread. I didn’t dare glance up at him, I knew he still hadn’t looked away.

I examined the spread on the table, a pile of mixed bloody meat was pushed down by Mor. The contents of my stomach spun as the images flooded my view. I took a deep breath, pushing the flashes of the broken and buried out of sight, out of mind.

“Locking yourself in a tower is no way to win a fight,” Amren spoke to me dryly, her petite fingers gliding over her ruby necklace.

I swallowed a bite of steamed carrot, “neither is escaping to the Summer Court for romantic affairs.”

Amren’s hollow snicker silenced the room. They stared between me and her, probably wondering who would spike the other first.

“Fearless,” Rhysand joined in, taking a sip of his wine as he looked between me and Amren.

“Not in the least bit,” I replied with an edge so sharp, I was sure to strike blood. My eyes narrowed at Rhysand only to quickly soften at his blank expression.

I take it you’re still mad? Rhysand shoved past my mental shields. It’s not like you two were actually…

Don’t. Don’t say or think anything. Just promise you won’t speak of it.

He gave a slight nod.

Thank you…High Lord.

Rhysand’s low chuckle was cut short by a kiss on the cheek from Feyre, pulling his attention to the other side of the table.

Amren pushed her food from one edge of the plate to the other. Her fork scraping against the porcelain as she studied me.

I let out a shallow breath and focused on the pile of peas. “Will Varian be…”

“Skipping the meat?” Cassian interrupted from across the wooden table.

I raised my head to look at him, taken back by his own formal attire, “I would hate to spoil my figure.” I lied. It took what remaining willpower I had left to look away from him again. I slid my fingers over the mini loaf then stabbed my nails into it for a distraction.

Cassian’s voice dropped as if for only me to hear, “or spoil your heart?”

“Do you enjoy pushing me?” I asked ripping apart the bread with more strength than necessary. Ignoring the rest of the table, we spoke with daggers at the tips of our tongues.

“I enjoy a match with an equal,” Cassian quipped with a shrug as he wiped his mouth clean of wine, a smirk igniting.

“We are not equals,” I warned him with a glare, further tearing the loaf to pieces with fragile hands.

Cassian’s smirk smoothed into a thin line, “right, right, right. How could I forget, I’m a bastard?” He held his hands in the air, before settling them back down on the table.

“Yes, that too. But that’s not the only reason.” I released the leftover pieces of bread, dusting off the remaining crumbs. My hands instinctively reached for my knife and fork, slicing into a potato. Anything for a distraction--I would give my left arm for a diversion right now.

He leaned back in his seat, bracing himself on the arms of the upholstered chair. “Well, spike my interest, why don’t you? How are we not equals, lovely Nesta?”

Mor glanced between us, her figure rigid as she chewed on her food.

“You prefer weapons over words, lies over promises and…” I hesitated, releasing my knife and fork--unsure of how to push him away further. I looked from him to Mor who was silently fuming and back to him again, “…armor over affection.”

Cassian’s chest sunk in, his jaw tightened. “This coming from a woman who only knows how to push people away.”

“Yes,” I hastily stood up from the table, heat raced to my palms. I could feel the beginning of my unleashing.

A subtle smirk grazed his wine stained lips, “I’m not the only one who chooses armor over affection…Nes.”

I felt a weight drop onto my gut, crushing the breath out of me. The fire circled, faster and faster—I needed to leave. “Hopefully the wine will soothe your guilt. Excuse me,” I coldly announced with a raised chin, looking down the brim of my nose at him.

As soon as I turned the corner, out of sight of the dining room, I ran up the stairs back to the bedroom. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I should have just sat there and ate like the rest of them. But no, instead, I chose to spar with the commander of all pricks. He could always wind me up, always make me lose my breath—lose control.

He had looked so cleaned up, so formal. I wasn’t sure why, but it stunned me. Cassian’s neatly brushed black waves fell against his formal iron tunic. He even shaved…either way he was devastatingly attractive and I hated it. I hated him.

Something was wrong though, he didn’t—he didn’t have that light in his eyes like he usually did. A piece of him missing, a small piece but large enough for me to notice it’s absence.

I paced wildly until I calmed down.

The perfectly even shelf on the wall caught my attention. I looked closer, noticing something I had never seen before. There was a carved flower beneath it—I looked underneath, it was a magnolia. I slid my fingers over the carving, following the petals to the center. My fingers traced over a sun and within the sun, a crescent moon. Who, who carved this beauty? And where did it come from? And why was a simple shelf striking my fancy?

Book in hand, I retreated to the bed. Tales from the Sea, it was a collection of stories—mysteries mainly, about what lurked beneath the deadly water. I opened to the first page, the story of some young woman meeting a captivating mermaid. I had read this story hundreds of times, so reading this again should be easy.

“I am not weak,” I said under my breath, holding open the hardcover with determination.

Once, in a sea long lost by shifting continents. A woman of beauty and untold knowledge, drifted during her nightly stroll. Enchanted by…

The letters started to shake, vibrating violently on the pages. Feyre’s face flashed before me, then my mothers. I dropped the book in reaction, my heart thundering so loud I thought it would burst. The pages splayed out, hand drawn pictures of various creatures’ man once imagined and put to ink and page.

I didn’t bother picking up the book, I feared it. I feared my first love. The sun had disappeared beyond the horizon, hiding beneath the endless sea I had wanted to read so desperately about. Candles instead of faelights had lit themselves, providing a distant hazy-orange glow while I changed into a sheer mauve nightgown. I had wondered who picked out all of these, fearing it could have been Cassian—out for revenge and leaving nothing to the imagination.

Lying in bed felt odd, conflicting even. There were more than enough possibilities of nightmares, mainly ones that involved him.

A bright light crossed my window, I turned quickly—fearing that I may have fallen asleep already and that this was the start of my hell. Another light flashed by, shooting stars. After counting five shooting stars, they had stopped. I stared out the window, counting the stationary ones to pass the time.

But eventually I slipped…into a darkness so deep, I wasn’t sure if I would ever come out of it. The whispers sung to me, clung to me. They pulled at my sheer nightgown, dragging me down further until I couldn’t breathe. The cauldron. It felt like I was sinking back in, drowning in sulfur and shadows.

Talons ripped through my fingers, exploding skin off of my bones as I transformed in the dark. The radiating light beamed off of me, scaring the chuckling shadows away. Breathing heavily, I waited for their return but only received silence. I tried to move forward but hit an invisible wall. Every movement was the same, no matter which way—I was stuck.

A burst of anxious flames erupted from my core, spreading throughout my body, interweaving itself between flesh and bone.

“Nesta!” He called to me.

I tried to speak but only screeches left my newly formed mouth.

“Where are you?!” Cassian yelled again, this time walking towards the swallowing shadows. “Nesta!”

Another attempt and only a foreign noise left my razor-sharp beak. I cried amber drops of fire, begging for him to hear me. Without thinking, my talons pushed against the invisible barrier between me and his voice. Shoving itself further until I punctured it. I screamed, the only noise I knew in this body. I screamed and screamed, begging for him to return—to not walk any further into the hissing laughter.

The copper specks in Cassian’s eyes reflected with fire. He stepped backward, turning to see where I had begun to shred at the wall, like the image was clearer in that section than the rest. Cassian ran towards me, his calloused hands pressing against the wall between us.

“Stay back,” he cautioned, throwing his weight into it--pushing and pulling. He barely made a budge.

My eyes widened in fear as the whispers sung to me. They were coming for him.

“Leave,” I begged, finding my voice again. “Leave me,” I croaked as I gained strength in my unfamiliar vocal chords.

“Like hell,” Cassian pulled the blade from his back, slicing into the wall with difficulty.

“Nesta Archeon, the Cauldron Thief,” they began their chant.

I looked from him to where the singing shadows filtered in. “Cassian, please. Run...go…” I choked, scratching at the wall. “I need you to run,” I beseeched.

He didn’t stop slicing at the cage as he glanced up at me, “I told you, I wouldn’t…” Another blow to the wall, “…leave.”

My frustration rose, as did the roaring flames encircling me. “Stop being a proud bastard and go!” I shouted while staring at his determined expression.

Cassian shook his head; obsidian strands fell out of his low bun. “Fight it. Whatever the hell it is, Nesta. Fight!” He bellowed, slamming the sword into the shield, his siphons illuminating the black abyss as he drained his power.

Shadow monsters hissed away from his siphons, their singing halted.

I helped rip at the wall between us, gutting into it to reach him before the shadows returned.

“Nesta Archeon, Cauldron Thief and Fire Gryphon,” his slithering voice snuck through the hole in the wall between me and Cassian.

“Is that…?” Cassian ducked in time before Hybern could decapitate him.

Without another thought or doubt, my wings of fire and talons of destruction ripped through the cage. The rotting corpse of Hybern hoarsely laughed as I blocked him from Cassian.

“Hello, Cassian.” Hybern snickered as he looked over my deathly wings then turned his attention back to the warrior behind me. “Looking well, I see. Even after failing your beloved human girl.”

I glared at Hybern, screeching so loud he covered his ears.

“You can’t escape everything in death, I guess.” Hybern shook his head in irritation, his fallen skin shaking more so.

Cassian’s siphons glowed brighter, creating a shield between us and Hybern.

“Commander, that’s highly unnecessary—don’t you think?” Hybern snapped his fingers, exploding the crimson barrier with ease.

“What do you want?” I hissed, still trying to keep Cassian behind me. He didn’t bother, quickly returning to my side.

Hybern rolled his milky eyes, “by the cauldron, you are one ignorant girl. I want you.”

“No,” Cassian growled, raising his Illyrian sword.

Hybern clicked his tongue, “if you don’t come with me. I’ll kill him.”

Energy circled inside, my talons twitching, “I killed you once, doing it again won’t be as difficult.”

“If you say so,” Hybern shrugged coolly, lifting his rotting finger.

A bolt of silver light raced towards Cassian. Until it slowed down, everything slowed down as I stepped in front of him—expanding my flaming wings in time to conceal him. Cassian’s eyes expanded as the arrow of magic crushed into me, forcing the breath out of my lungs.

Hybern scoffed, shifting his hand from side to side as he examined his spoiled flesh. “Damn magic. So finicky in the afterlife.”

I stared down at Cassian, my breathing ragged. “Please, run,” I gasped, I begged.

Cassian’s eyes hardened, his teeth grinding. “Wake up, you can do this. Just wake up,” he pleaded, holding onto the sides of my monstrous face.

I shook my head, fiery tears leaking out of me, “you’ll die.”

“Not if you wake up,” he shook his head, wiping his thumb against my flaming tears. I watched as his skin didn’t burn.

He didn’t burn.

I turned around, blocking him again as I launched myself at Hybern—pushing him into the waiting shadows. His gut wrenching screams echoed through the dark as shadows gobbled him whole.

My body collapsed to a bluestone floor, still in the form of the Gryphon.

Cassian knelt beside me, “you can do this, Nesta.”

“I can’t,” I mumbled, feeling a weight press down onto my spine and feathered wings.

“Don’t give up--not now.” He watched, trying to help lift me. “Wake up!” He yelled, unable to pull me up.

“I…I can’t.” I whimpered as I looked away, trying to upright myself. The weight pushed further, crushing me against the stone. The burning wings receded in between my shoulder blades. Flaming talons disappearing within flesh. I cried at the searing pain of transforming back into myself.

Cassian crouched down beside me, his siphons flickering out of power. “If you won’t wake up for your sisters, for yourself…then please…” his voice cracked, “please come back to me.” His hoarse voice strained further, “wake up for me.”

I turned my head to face him, peering up at the Illyrian who fought time and death for me. The shaking of his lips, the glistening of his beautiful hazel eyes. I pushed against the weight, focusing on him and only him.

“Come back to me, Nesta.” Cassian whispered, wrapping his rough hand around mine.

I screamed, closing my eyes as I pushed against the unbearable weight that crushed me. I made it to my knees before it nearly smashed me back down. I dared another look at him, before I died—I wanted him to be the last face I saw. If I was going to go, I only wished to see him one last time.

“No, you’re not leaving me,” he argued, refusing to accept my silent goodbye. “I…Nesta, I…fuck!” Cassian’s voice shook. “You’re not dying on me,” he cursed again, sweat forming down his face as he tried to push against the invisible weight with me.

Another guttural scream as I pushed up, every last bit of magic and energy. Every last thought of good, of his family-- my family. Of Amren, Mor, Azriel, Rhysand, Elain, Feyre and him. I put into that last shove against death.

Exploding light blinded me, clearing out the overwhelming darkness. I felt his sweaty, calloused hands wrap around my back and legs--lifting me to his solid chest. I still hadn’t opened my eyes, in fear that I failed, that I lost them all. I was set on a soft cushion, swiftly covered with a silky throw.

I dared a look, it was a massive library. Filled with thousands if not millions of novels ranging in sizes and colors. The minor wall spaces were painted in a light rose color, trimmed with magnolia petals. Three enormous, arched windows were on my right, overlooking an orchard of magnolia trees. I hesitantly sat up, sinking further into the pale blue cushions.

“It’s beautiful,” Cassian admitted, tearing his eyes away from the windows. The lines on his face softened, revealing a vulnerability I had never witnessed from him before. “You’re beautiful,” he uttered, not daring to look below my jaw line.

“Cassian…” I breathed, my heart shrinking as I stood. Magic tingled in the air, forming an indigo chiffon dress to piece around me.

He was alive. He was here and breathing. I didn’t kill him, I didn’t lose him.

“Before you wake up, before this moment ends, I…” he struggled to speak, like his tongue had fallen down his throat.

I didn’t say anything, I didn’t know if he finished or not. Studying closely, I could see discoloration on his hands, scarlet markings throughout his armor. Before I could speak my concern, he stroked his calloused thumb over his lower lip then down to his chin.

“Why do you have Naga markings on your back,” Cassian’s eyes fluttered toward me then down to my covered shoulder as he dropped his hand to his side. “What, what happened to you?” His voice stuttered, dripping with barely-controlled rage.

I walked towards him, standing beside the Illyrian warrior as I stared out the window. We both studied a gentle wind blowing the creamy white and pink magnolia petals. I took a deep breath, the loudest sound in the unwavering silence between us. We retreated into the memory, no longer standing in the extensive library.

We were in the heavily wooded forest, just outside the wall of Prythian. He stayed silent as he watched another version of me, the human, head towards the wall. I followed another woman towards the hole between this world and the next.

“You can’t be serious,” the rugged woman interrupted my thoughts. “You will not last a day beyond the wall.”

Our boots crunched into the thick snow, as we pressed forward. Barren trees, frosty winds and heavy gray clouds sinking downwards—smothering us with intricate flakes.

“You’re paid to take me there. Not give advice.” I snapped at her, pulling on the sides of my cloak to close it tighter. My nearly blue lips quivered from the cold; falling snow stuck to me like flames to wood.

The tracker jutted her chin forward, “it’s not advice, it’s a warning, girl.”

“That beast has my sister.” I turned wildly, the boiling fury within me threatening to burn her.

“Then she is gone. Forget her, forget your death sentence and go home.”

I halted before turning on my heel again, throwing a menacing glare. “You will take me to the wall. That is what you are paid for. That monster has my sister. I will find her. I will get her back. And I will murder the son of a bitch who took her.”

The woman’s severely aged face drained of color, her shoulders shrinking. “I’m only trying to save you.” The moldy green of her eyes faded with shame and warning.

“I died many moons ago,” I spat at the heavily armed woman. “There’s no one to save but her,” I mumbled, huffing as another gust of ice shredded my face. “Let’s keep moving. The snow will only get worse.”

“We’re here,” she sighed.

“What?” I spoke through my shivering teeth.

“Go through there--between those two trees,” she pointed to the skinniest birch trees in sight. “You’ll be there.”

I didn’t say thank you nor did I ask for any last words of wisdom, I hadn’t even bothered to ask her name. I only stared at the cowardice woman—handing her a discolored pouch of my remaining coins.

The Fae tracker left with her money, leaving me to find Feyre on my own. I stepped through the trees, holding my breath as if I were going under water.

My foot crushed several sticks as I stepped through. No snow? There was no snow, in fact it was warm. Much warmer than the other side of the wall. I pulled my other foot through, letting the snow melt off of me in the set of new woods I had entered.

Similar trees, similar landscape—but in a constant state of spring. Yellow and violet flowers I had only seen Elain garden during that time of year were sprinkled throughout the forest floor. I removed my worn hood, cautiously stepping forward, unsure of which direction to start in but choosing west anyways.

We followed my human self, Cassian beside me as he silently observed every detail of the memory. A snap from the east echoed against the tree trunks. His body going still, a trained hand on the hilt of his sword.

“Hello?” I called out, “Feyre?” I asked hopefully.

I looked around frantically as more and more sticks snapped around me.

“Is it you, beast?” I raised my blade, a rusted old knife that father had once treasured. “Where is she?” I demanded with a ruthless glare.

“I am no beast,” it’s humorless laughter sent an ice dagger through me. “I will grind your bones between my claws; I will drink your marrow; I will feast on your flesh. I am what you fear; I am what you dread... Look at me. Look at me.” It sung with a hiss.

I turned madly, my knife at the ready for whatever horrible monster lay wait for me.

“There you are…” it sung with menacing delight.

“No…” I whispered, turning to see my mother before me.

“Nesta, my darling, Nes. I’ve missed you…” my mother wept, her pale hands raising towards me for us to embrace.

“You’re dead,” I raised my knife at the woman in front of me.

“Nes, I’m alive. I was taken. That’s all…but I’m here, darling. We can go home now.” She stalked closer, her blue-gray eyes crushed into me. Feyre, she looked so much like her.

“Stay away!” I yelled, my crumbling face turned ghostly white. “Stay the hell away from me,” tears drained down my face, a snarl forming on my chapped lips.

“Is that anyway to talk to your mother?” her voice darkened, “the one who cared for you? Who loved you unconditionally?”

“You’re nothing but a monster.” I whimpered as she stepped closer, I shuffled backwards--careful not to fall. The blade shook in my hand as I continued to point at the demon before me.

Screeches and howls in the distance rushed for us.

“Naga,” the creature hissed, disappearing into the woods.

I nearly dropped the blade, panicking as I looked from where my mother had once stood to where seven new creatures had appeared. I didn’t bother to look at all of them before running. As quickly as I possibly could, cursing the many layers of skirts.

These Naga creatures pulled at me with their sable talons, ripping at my cloak and skirts as I shrieked through the woods. I needed to get back to the wall, to the opening but I couldn’t find it. I couldn’t remember which trees I had entered through. They all looked the same.

Amber eyes stood out against bodies of tar and decomposing scales. I tried to outrun them, a pack of wild, death-dealing fairies. The Naga trapped me. Three behind, two in front and one on either side of me.

My gut swirled as I watched their scale-like rotting bodies circle me, pushing me down into the ground. I crawled backwards, until my back hit one of their slimy legs. I screamed, as the creature stroked its talon against my reddened cheek. Their hollow laughter echoed between them, serpent tongues slithering out of their sharpened mouths.

They tore at my clothes until I wore nothing, splaying me on my stomach—spreading my legs and arms. I tried to fight them, to pull away from them but I couldn’t fight. I wasn’t strong enough.

I stole a look at Cassian, the animalistic face he was making crushed me. He wanted to rip them apart, to make them suffer for every touch. Annihilate their kind until they were only horrors of the past. I didn’t doubt that he could, that he would. Because he would do it for anyone.

As their hissing laughter continued, two others grabbed me by my wrists and ankles to hold me down further. I wanted to turn away, but instead I watched as the leader slashed into my human form. Striking my back, I screamed, pulling against their death grips. I screamed so loud that it nearly deafened me to the oncoming roars of another creature. The pack of Naga ran, leaving me on the forest floor with a ripped open back.

Crimson tidal waves gushed out of me as I cried in pain.

“I told you not to follow us,” he growled, transforming from familiar beast to High Fae. Tamlin’s long blond hair flowed down his shoulders, his mask covering majority of his face.

“She’s…” it hurt to talk, to breathe, “my sister.” I gasped as more blood flooded out. I could hardly process what I had witnessed—his shapeshifting.

“Your sister broke the laws of the treaty,” Tamlin replied nonchalantly.

“Only,” I winced, “because I did not…go.” Another breath of agony escaped me. “Take me,” I demanded through gritted teeth.

“In her place?” Tamlin laughed. “Why now?” He asked curiously, examining my torn flesh.

“I’ll be your slave in…” I couldn’t finish my sentence as I coughed up a scarlet mess.

“She’s not a slave, she’s our savior,” his lips twitched defensively. Tamlin watched my fingers clasp down on the bed of leaves and flowers beneath me, crushing them within my fists.

I stole a look at him, the kidnapping beast from hell. “You’re a monster,” I retorted, feeling my lungs fill with a crimson flood.

Tamlin’s lips twisted, “not as much as you. I heard all about the abuse your youngest sister endured.”

“I protected her.”

“How so? Through cruelty?”

“Our mother,” I winced again, “I protected her from our mother.” I released the grass between my fingers, simultaneously releasing the torturous memories of her. Uncontrollable guilt combusted inside me. I protected her from our mother, but not from our father’s shit luck—and not from my own cruelty. My own pain.

“I don’t believe you.”

“I don’t need you to,” I muttered, turning my head to look at him but instead I looked past his broad shoulders, towards the clearing filled with stars. The ones I had counted as a young girl, wishing upon them for love and a promising future. How they must laugh at my grim fate.

Tamlin stepped forward, blocking my view with a smug smile on his face. “I will not take you in her place. She’s been chosen to break the curse.”

“What curse?” I asked, a wave of nausea rolled through me. The burning sensation of vomit filled my throat. I turned away from him, throwing up whatever remnants of food I had left inside.

“Amarantha’s cur…” Tamlin replied distracted by my dry heaving. His eyes enlarged beneath his mask as he stopped himself.

I tilted my head towards him, realizing I had a weapon—a secret.

Tamlin’s upper lip twitched, his brows drawing together. “You’ll die before telling anyone.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” I breathed in deep, another gag from the unbearable pain causing scarlet to seep between my teeth. “You’re not the only creature that’s stumbled upon me out here.” I swallowed another gush of crimson, “I will get her back.”

Tamlin’s fearful face transformed into something far more wicked, absolute steel. “You don’t deserve to be loved by anyone,” he sneered. “From this day forth, until this bond is broken, you will speak to no one of this. You will only remember your mother and her actions when you see, Feyre. You will only see pain when looking at your sisters. And by some strange turn of events, if you are to ever find true love, you will be unable to obtain it. Unable to unleash yourself to fully feel it. Leaving not only yourself a broken shell, but your mate as well.”

I tried to speak of Amarantha’s curse, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t speak, I looked up at him in absolute horror. Another attempt as I tried to say Naga, my mouth sealed shut momentarily.

Tamlin crossed his arms. “You have two options. The first, I will heal you, I will let you live. I will take care of Feyre--marry her--love her far better than your family ever could. But you will never try to find her again, you will live your life in complete ignorance of her.”

I gurgled blood, coughing more up onto the forest floor. Flowers and minor sticks, glued themselves to me with the crimson mess that dripped out of my mouth.

“The second, if you attempt to make contact with her, I will return you to the Naga’s regular feeding ground. Not only will Feyre remain with me, but I will retrieve your precious, Elain.”

“Fuck. You.” I coughed again, bracing my sweaty forehead against a bed of moss and bloodstained flowers. They duplicated, into a dozen images as the blood loss took its toll.

Tamlin chortled, a smirk growing, “let’s see if you change your mind after a night in the woods.”

“I’ll be dead anyways, remember?” I barked to the best of my ability.

“Not yet,” he held his hands over my back, healing me just enough that I wouldn’t immediately die but not enough to move--to run. “I’ll leave you here to think on it. See you in the morning, that’s if another creature doesn’t find you before then.”

Cassian’s roar vibrated against my frail bones as he watched Tamlin walk away from my near-lifeless body. His bronze muscles flexed as he attempted to control himself. Hungry for another blood bath, hazel slits dripped with fury.

I reached for his trembling hand, “Cass…” I breathed.

In case you missed the previous parts...

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

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