#and I suffer a LOT

[elliesbelle]

emily gwen, the creator of the sunset lesbian flag that we’ve come to commonly use, still continues to live in poverty.

multi-billion dollar companies have used their design and made profit from it, and yet they have not seen a cent for their creation.

i’ve been friends with emily for years, and i have not once seen them be financially stable the entire time. i’ve seen them homeless, unemployed, starving. right now, they need our help more than ever.

please consider donating to emily’s ko-fi, especially if you’ve used their design to create something and profited from it.

#emily’s finally found housing after couch surfing at friends’ places for months #they’ve got a lot of debt rn on top of bills and rent #rn they don’t have food in the house and they’re starving #they don’t deserve this at all they are so kind and i literally hate to see them suffering #please please pleaaase donate and reblog #they don’t ask for much but they deserve the world #mutual aid #crowdfunding #donation post #belle speaks

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[creekfiend]

I saw this on FB today and I wanna try and express something about it. Like, you know the curbcutter effect? Where when curbcuts are put in it benefits everyone (bicyclists, people with baby strollers etc) and not just disabled people?

There is also whatever the opposite of the curbcutter effect is. And this is that.

This isn't just anti-adhd/autism propaganda... this is anti-child propaganda.

Kids have developmentally appropriate ways that they need to move their bodies and express themselves and sitting perfectly still staring straight ahead is not natural or good for ANY CHILD.

Don't get me wrong, I was punished unduly as a kid for being neurodivergent (and other types of kid will ALSO be punished unduly for it... Black kids come to mind) and thus UNABLE to perform this -- but even the kids who ARE able to perform this type of behavior are not SERVED WELL by it. They don't benefit from it.

This is bad for everyone.

The idea that bc some kids may be capable of complying with unfair expectations, those expectations don't hurt them... is a dangerous idea. Compliance isn't thriving. Expectation of compliance isn't fair treatment.

#theres a lot of things lately that make me think of this where #people will act like theres this class of people not harmed by something #(laws undermining bodily autonomy come to mind!!!!!) #and its like -- no. the consequences will be worse for some people #but no one is ultimately served by the erosion of bodily autonomy like there is not a class of people who benefit from that #same with lack of right to privacy #there isnt a DEMOGRAPHIC of people who benefit from certain things #there are systems that do. and there may be a handful of individuals who benefit partially or FOR NOW #until those systems are turned against them #i think its important to remind people in certain privileged demographics that like #certain things do benefit them #and others DON'T #you may suffer less statistically but it doesnt benefit you! #its BAD SOCIETALLY.

[evercelle]

but the show must go on

#genshin impact #furina #focalors #ever makes art #how about that archon quest huh!!! #i have a lot of thoughts about fontaine....... but the one i have the most thoughts about is #the theme of 'justice for all at the cost of suffering for a few' #focalors is so fascinating... the cruel calculus of what her gambit costs is very cool and sexy

[spiderversegf]

oh btw just in case nobody ever told you. just because your life looks different than you thought it would doesn't mean that your life is bad or wrong or disappointing or less than. sometimes things aren't good or bad. sometimes they're just different

#ok to rb #just thinking a lot ab expectations n things and realizing that even tho im experiencing a Lot of suffering i can still find happiness #and even if it isn't the life i anticipated it is still MY life. there is always good in it. i will never stop searching for it #🍜

[reds-skull]

There's a lack of Gaz angst out there I feel, so I'm doing my part and letting him suffer as well.

#call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw2 #cod fanart #cod ghost #cod soap #cod gaz #this can be gazsoap but i intend them to be more like brothers #also ghost was definitely also having nightmares thats why he was at the gym #angst #btw im using fanart as a place to experiment so unfortunately my comics will never have a consistent style </3 #dont let my other art fool you i will make these boys suffer a lot

[rageveinn]

I just. love this game so much

#silent hill #heather mason #silent hill 3 #silent hill fanart #sh3 fanart #sh3 heather #alessa gillespie #i did it. i finished this wip!! #heheheh #it's a nice feeling and I've learned a lot #though. it was a lot of suffer too #my art #my girl #rageveinn

[animesketch-es]

The brainrot is brainrotting 🤕

Smiling Critters infection/apocalypse AU I don’t actually have a name for yet because I haven’t thought that far. I just thought I’d draw what I had in mind before it disappeared never to be seen again… 🕊️

The general premise is that after the outbreak, the SC formed their own survival group based in DogDay’s house and were doing well for themselves until CatNap suddenly got infected. Now it’s a mix of apocalypse survival and trying to find a cure + interpersonal drama because of course

#i expand on it… maybe we’ll see #catnap isn’t dead but as the infection gets worse he becomes less and less like himself #like monster catnap #infection is spread via poppy gas btw so actually everyone also has a gas mask for outdoor ventures and catnap visits #correction catnap isn’t dead yet #a lot of people are kind of emo #dogday is singlehandedly boosting everyone’s morale enough not to give up hope #the prototype is the origin of infection slash patient zero #catnap suffering #everyone else is also suffering #poppy playtime #smiling critters #smiling critters au #dogday #catnap #bobby bearhug #picky piggy #bubba bubbaphant #hoppy hopscotch #kickin chicken #craftycorn #this is long #phthartic au

[ryuzumisama]

The Pale Elf

#astarion #bg3 #bg3 fanart #astarion fanart #ive never ascended him and i dont think i ever will because i cant see him suffer like that #but ive def seen the videos on yt and bro...my heart #but also...on your knees quote might make me risk it all lol #baldurs gate fanart #baldur's gate 3 #ascended astarion #gonna rant about how cool i think it is that you need to roll fairly high in order to convince him to not ascend #like the guy is ANGRY...of course it takes a lot of work to convince him to not choose the power #i love how larian wrote him--honestly constantly thinking about it every day

[prahacat]

when the horrors catch up and you take an evening off to batch-process

#obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #maybe obi-wan just read the outline for the next wip #why do i love to torture him so #one of my fav fanfic genres has to be meta fic horror #just imagine. how deeply disturbing it must be to find out you're a fictional character #somebody has *intentionally* written all those horrors onto you #and it wasn't even the guy who created you #he did his part. but the ppl who love it most to ruin your life and see you suffer are your fans #it's not enough that there's prob a lot of jedi rpf around in the gffa already. scarred obi-wan for life #lmao drawing anakin like this gave me so many flashbacks to my old ocs where almost every male character had that hair #also i have a job interview in one hour dsdsfhjgj #my art #prahacat draws

[allastoredeer]

Ya'll want to know the funniest shit?

I'm researching the era when Alastor was alive right now to get a better idea of both his character, the life he lived before Hell, and to hash out a backstory for him.

And so, apparently, Alastor lived through the Prohibition (which was basically the United States government illegalizing the manufacture, transportation, and sale of alcohol because they thought it was the cause of a lot of domestic violence and child abandonment).

Alastor canonically died in 1933.

Do you know how long the Prohibition lasted?

From 1920-1933.

ALASTOR LITERALLY DIED THE SAME YEAR ALCOHOL BECAME LEGAL AGAIN. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW BITTER HE MUST'VE BEEN?

The Prohibition officially ended on December 5, 1933, and now my headcanon is that Alastor died December 6, 1933. Literally the day after he could legally drink all the booze he wanted.

I am learning a LOT about New Orleans and the era Alastor lived through (including the gay community in the city at the time) which has been a lot of fun, and I just wanted to share that tidbit because it is so fucking funny to me.

#guys i just #its so funny #can you imagine Alastor gets the news #everything is awesome #the next day he's planning to go out drinking and have a good time #but first he needs to get rid of this body #it shouldn't take too long #just a few hours #and THEN this motherfucking hunter decides to ignore hunting laws and mistakes him for a deer #when he wakes up he's in Hell #I can just imagine the realization setting in #he's SO bitter and angry about it #he was about to get shit-faced and have a fun time at a party #and now he's suffering eternal punishment #he couldn't even get a proper drink first #it was just a fun tidit #ALSO #the gay community in New Orleans at the time is so fascinating #they literally entire communities and neighborhoods #and a lot of it was from mixed race people #and we know Alastor is mixed race #AH I have so so many thoughts #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #hazbin hotel fanart #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering. #it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now... #... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy. #(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

which group do you find the most absolutely delightful at bringing the lolz together??

#this poll brought to you by: i was watching wwdits last night and thinking 'DAMN this ensemble is magical' #i have also been thinking that a lot in my b99 rewatch #so now: FIGHT! #dollsome does polls #(everybody i know being influenza-ridden including future me has got me crazy for polls these past few days) #(nothing briefly saves you from reality better than a tumblr poll!) #i think my answer is wwdits but choosing between wwdits and new girl brought me suffering #and also these are all my favorite and that's why i listed them

[princess-of-morkva]

thinking about. how merlin brings out the best in arthur and on the other hand arthur brings out the darkest parts of merlin. how arthur always tries to be better and do the right thing because merlin believes in him and he wouldn't want to disappoint him. because he believes merlin is good and he wants to be good for him. how merlin always ends up making the worst decision in his desire to protect arthur, doing things he never thought he'd do. how from saving arthur's life because that's a right thing to do, he goes to putting his life above any of his own morals.

#wrote this down a few hours ago #i think about it A LOT #it's tragedy baby #it's why i love this show #and yes of course i love my babies #and that means i love all of them #including their suffering #merlin bbc #merlin #arthur pendragon #merthur #bbc merlin

[eternallovers65]

Just saw someone on Twitter complain about the lack of Japanese people in Oppenheimer, and what did you expect??? Did you want the final act to be the bomb dropping and see people burning alive???

The reason why we don't see a Japanese perspective is because one, including a Japanese perspective, just to see how bad the suffering was would be exploitation. Two, to see an accurate and sensitive take on how the japanese felt about Oppenheimer, Christopher Nolan (as incredible as he is) isn't the right person to do this. And three, it's based on Oppenheimer's biography

Oppenheimer, the movie, literally shows you people (mostly the superiors, because by the middle/end of it you see Oppenheimer regretting his creation) doing something dubious and inhumane because they removed themselves away, both emotionally and physically, from the people they are hurting.

Nagasaki and Hiroshima only exist in those men's distant thoughts and imaginations. One guy literally asks to take a city off the bombing because that's where he had his honeymoon. It's disturbing and unsettling, as if those people were not real human beings. The lack of Japanese people drives the entire point home.

Also, Japanese cinema is right there. Barefoot Gen, Grave of the Fireflies, or Hiroshima (responsible for showing to many Americans the effects of the bombs for the first time) are just a few of the many, many decades of post-war Japanese movies we have

#important to say this just my opinion and im more than glad to talk and discuss about it #also i dont think a single person left this movie thinking Oppenheimer was the greatest person ever or left as a pro atomic bomb #you could literally feel the entire room's tension after the trinity test scene and what that meant when they succeeded #as the movie ended almost everyone was in silence i left that room in complete silent #its also important to say that although i do say the scientists didn't thought about the suffering japanese people would go through #this is more a dig forwards the superiors not the scientists because a lot of the scientists (Oppenheimer included) were jewish #so they were creating that people with the sole purpose of stoping the nazis and not hurt civilians #also to the people that keep saying 'oh what was japan doing/dont act like japaneses were innocent' dude i get what youre saying #but do you honestly believe all those civilians deserved that??? they were civilians not all of them agreed to what was happening #oppenheimer #oppenheimer 2023 #barbenheimer #christopher nolan #cilian murphy

[whenthewallfell]

Peeta was always endgame no matter how you slice it. Obviously there's the narrative choice, already gone into that, but from a character perspective too.

I mean there's the whole 'gale winds are loud, devastating, and quick to pass' and 'pita (bread) is considered the cornerstone that helped create humanity' thing, there's war vs peace, wrath vs mercy, self vs many, etc etc.

One of them brings destruction (gale is defined by what he kills, be it rabbits or sisters, and the systems he wants to bring down) and the other, creation (peeta is defined by the things he makes - speeches, bread, art).

One of them will end the world, the other will rebuild it from the ashes. Obviously Gale is needed - you can't make omelettes without breaking eggs after all- but he was never a sustainable, long term option.

WHICH THEN BRINGS ME BACK OH SO NICELY to how love IS a central theme of the series, because there HAS to be a 'so after'.

#the hunger games #everlark #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #katniss everdeen #i have a lot of pent up feelings about these characters #and had no one to talk to about them when i first read the books #so now you all get to suffer my brain vomits <3 #rambles