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jenokoi · 1 year

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How is it (the situation) affecting you, and how to move on.

GENERAL TAROT READING BY JENOKOI

Hi. This is quite unexpected, I was not planning on making this reading at all. But here we are, staring one another, you with a question and me with a fear of messing up your answer. However, I am confident this will find those who are meant to read it. Without further ado, tonight we will have a sneak peak on how a certain situation is affecting you, whenever you are aware of it or not, and how to move on (were you wish to do so). Don’t fret if we poke a few traumas here and there, I can not control what I’m told. It is a bit extensive, so please take only what resonates with you and leave the rest for your fellow companions.

That said, there are vague mentions of sexual assault and hints at eating disorders, so if you’re not comfortable with said topics please do not read.

Please take a deep breath and get comfortable. Let your intuition guide you to the answer you seek in the pictures below. Take as much time as you need.

PILE ONE > PILE TWO > PILE THREE

My tarot readings are guided by the current energy of my subject in question and my own spirit guides. Energies are prone to change based on our actions, and thus nothing is truly set on stone. Please take only what resonates, this is a general reading. It’s okay to not feel drawn to any of the images. If you have to force it into the narrative of your life, then it might not be for you. These readings are for entertainment purposes only.

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

You feel abandoned, left behind or ignored by someone who was supposed to love and care for you unconditionally. You feel like someone broke a promise made to you. As if you had been led on with a blindfold just to find yourself completely alone in an empty room, an empty paradise.

Some of you might be the eldest child or a role model to a younger family member. You have been left behind, yet a part of you still believes whoever abandoned you will come back. You might have been the second choice or someone is in the position you were told was to be yours. Nonetheless, you still hold onto this person/situation and refuse to let go despite the exit sign being right in front of you. You know there are better things awaiting for you on the other side. In your mind, you know what must be done, how the story ends. But your heart holds onto the faintest of flames in the hopes of a fire to burn every obstacle in your way.

Either someone you trust is leading you on, or you have been warned of what will happen regarding the situation by a male energy.

You might have developed really bad eating habits since the situation started. You indulge in addictions to fill the emptiness left by the excitement of a promised destiny yet to manifest. To calm the anxiety of waiting you abuse of your body and take it to its limits. You are a prisoner of your emotions, ignoring evidence and warnings, accusing your mind of being too critical, skeptical. You turn your back to the truth and keep on holding to the situation (or person).

“I can leave when I want, so I’ll be okay with one more.” Your childhood traumas are haunting your present self. Especially those related to your fatherly figure growing up. You might have been very loved by your father during your child years before he abandoned you or left you stranded. Yet you were told by everyone he loved you the most. You have issues letting go. You believe in a love that can’t be seen because you were told you don’t need to feel or receive it for it to be real. You just need to know it’s there and that’s enough.

You gather every small move, every little bread crumb, and make of it a feast. You are holding onto ideas and no proof. This situation is making you delusional. You grab pieces left behind rather than given to you and call them gifts. This situation could be taken place at work or in a religious environment. You are making a big deal out of nothing. And every time you realize you are moving on you find another reason to come back.

If we’re being honest, you don’t want to move on, but there’s nothing you can do at all regarding the situation even if you decide to stay, and that frustrates you a lot. “If given the chance.” You want (yearn) for something out of this situation that you can’t have. You want to be the only choice. But you are afraid of the consequences were you to act upon your emotions. You are scare of getting hurt. You don’t think you are strong enough to face the consequences, but you are strong enough to not give up so easily.

This situation could be an affair of sorts. Your competition might know of you or of the situation. “You are not welcomed.” In case of an affair or something related to a relationship of three, you don’t think your competition is deserving of the subject of your affections. You believe them trapped, and that you could make them happier.

Whispers: darling, if they wanted, they would.

HOW TO MOVE ON (FROM THE SITUATION).

Take a fucking break and stop consuming so much tarot readings in the hopes of getting a different reading from the one two posts ago. Stop feeding onto your delusions, please. Take back control of your impulses and addictions, return to the mentality of “if it’s not doing me good then I shouldn’t continue,” please. It’s all about using reason to cut the negativity out of your life.

You might have been in a low energy as of late, often wanting to be left alone and leaving things for later (your room must be a mess), not necessary out of sadness though. You have been overthinking every action and fighting your mind took a toll on you. Sometimes to find the problem one must pull from the root.

It’s time to open your eyes and see that you have been drinking from an empty cup. There’s nothing there for you but what you have made yourself believe in. You were not invited to the party, your presence was not needed nor warranted. You are not supposed to be in this situation because there’s nothing here for you. It’s not yours to fight for and it’s not yours to win. You have been ignoring the truth waiting for it to be a lie, and you have been surrounding yourself with little lies that you have made them your truth. Even if it hurts, you are to look at the situation through reality and not your own distorted view.

Walk away from your own make believe world and you will see how clear the signs become. Stop projecting your ideas onto the situation (or person).

It’s time to face old habits and acknowledge how they are slowly deteriorating you. Love is not something you can’t see. Love can be found in memories, in actions, in words. Loves needs validation every once in a while, not because we must give it, but because we love so much we just have to scream it, have to show it, have to tell it. When someone loves you, you don’t doubt it. When someone cares for you, you are not afraid to ask of it.

You have to get comfortable with the dark energy within you so that you can learn to protect yourself with it. Learn your past, discover where your obsessions come from and understand how you can prevent being a victim of them.

You are unable to have commitment in a relationship because you must have control at all times of those who have a piece of your heart. You force your own idea of someone onto them and leave when they don’t act accordingly to your script. You don’t know how to receive love. You grew up thinking love should not be received, just acknowledge. And while it might take a while, you have the strength to grow your heart alongside your mind.

The seeds planted during your childhood have grown, some beautifully, some slowly, others even venomous. A few withered in the shadows. It’s time to put them under the sun and help them grow. Butterflies will arrive on their own, at their own time.

You wish for a change in this situation, blindly dancing with the devil. You refuse to move one because part of you, like a fool, believes you will receive your reward for waiting like a good kid.

Love shouldn’t make you feel like the bad guy.

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PILE II

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

This situation makes you feel alive, desired, wanted. You might even receive compensation from it, both financially or emotionally. You are becoming dependent of this situation. It’s euphoric, blinds you with excitement, carries you into a high. Some of you might consume drugs, could be weed or cocaine. This situation feels similar to the story of Alice In Wonderland.

Some of you might video call with someone or exchange nudity content through messages to another participant of the situation. Sexual innuendo warning: a partner might be really good at oral or constantly in the mood. Nevertheless, this situation makes you feel extremely desired and above the competition.

Funnily enough, this situation also makes you feel like less. As if you are not interesting nor cared of as a person but an object to lust after. You feel reduced to how you look rather than to what you can make. You might be afraid of showing your artistic side or ideas. You feel the best participant to a category you don’t think you deserve. You are far more than that, and are not receiving the compensation for all the effort you give. You feel as if your thoughts have no importance, your opinions only for the deaf. You overthink a lot and act as if you care none.

People might say bad/rude things about you behind your back, some even to your face. You might be in a rowdy and raucous environment. Your situation is like fireworks, pretty in it’s appearance, loud in its path, and brief in its high.

Your feelings are in disarray. You don’t know if what you feel for others or what others feel for you is love or lust, if it’s genuine or a parasite trying to suck your blood. You don’t know if they (or a certain person) sees you as a true friend or someone they just want to fuck. You also feel jealousy, a lot of it. Some of you might have stomach ache as of late. Others might be starving yourselves to fit a criteria.

Despite being a favorite, there seems to be a lot of competition regarding your goals. Some of you might constantly feel dizzy, you might like the act of eating a cake more than the cake itself (a rebellious act).

You feel like a fool who tries too hard and only embarrass themselves the more they talk, the more honest they act. There is someone you are trying to impress but they don’t return your affection/interest. This person might always be surrounded by people or talking to someone.

Some of you might be in the fashion business. Modeling, to be more precise. Your situation surrounds you of people trying to survive on their own twisted ways. Prostitutes. Teamwork is not prompted, and often those who play dirty are victorious.

You feel dirty and alone. Cheated on something. You were promised Wonderland and were given the bottom of the rabbit hole. For some, money ties you down to this situation. You feel a product to a store. For some of you, you are dealing with a player, for others, this is a career or project situation. You might feel controlled by a male energy.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT

Some of you might have been victims to sexual abuse and assault, could have been continuous from a young age or an event past the age of sixteen. You might be forced to coexist with your assaulter, either physically or mentally. You don’t feel like you deserve/want to be protected or cared for.

You feel like you aren’t and will never be enough. Someone not worth of respect. “Your body is what gives you value, not your mind, not your heart, but what’s between your open legs.” You don’t think you can reach your dreams. You don’t think to be the person to make them real.

You might be haunted by a male energy, and people’s opinions about you matter more than the love you give yourself. You are scared of growing old and losing your beauty.

HOW TO MOVE ON (FROM THE SITUATION).

You are a prisoner to society, to the male gaze, and you must break free of it before you can learn to forgive. It sounds stupid to you, but that same reason is why you are all so fucking depressed. You dislike men, you find them disgusting, but you are noting without them. If they don’t desire you, it means you are not hot enough. If they don’t come onto you, then you are not worth the time. You are nothing unless a man tells you you are his everything.

And eat/drink your fucking protein because you are a shivering wreck.

You don’t have to find value in your mind or your body or your heart. You have to accept that you won’t fit everyone’s taste and that’s t okay, because you’ll be you, and you only need to fit yourself.

You want to be taken care of, but you must learn how to by yourself first before you let anyone do so. Otherwise, anyone will easily sell you a nightmare dressed as a dream. You must break your dependency on external masculine energy.

You have become comfortable on the role of the victim, and thus you refuse to fight for what you want. “It won’t matter what I do, nothing will change.”

It’s a big wall to break through, but once you do, life will make sense. You will realize you are a little less afraid, a little more vulnerable. Once you break free, you will see how the world changes in an instant. How your feelings have power, your voice has strength, and your hand has the gift of giving love to all that it touches, regardless if it’s made of mud or gold. You will be your best friend and your grandest rival; not someone you want to defeat, but who constantly defies you to improve. You will see your dreams stay as they are, drifting away in the sky because you don’t fly towards them. You’ll allow yourself to be understood, that’s okay to simply feel without a need to explain.

Once you start to work for yourself with yourself, you will flourish into a beauty that has no weight, no standard, no criteria but that of simply being. You will fall in love with yourself and the world will follow in a breath.

And some wounds might never heal, some scars will forever mark your skin. You don’t have to forgive them, but you must forgive yourself. My dear, your karma will find them when you stop holding on to it.

You wish for revenge regarding this situation. Someone ruined your inner child, and you can’t let go until justice has been served. However, all those negative emotions are only attracting negative outcomes. Some victories are attained when you leave the battlefield and let your enemies end themselves.

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PILE III

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

Why are you even reading this man, you clearly don’t want to move on. You truly believe you can work your way into saving this. You don’t want to change shit, you just want to fix whatever is going on and continue on as if nothing ever happened. But, if you already fucked up enough times, and shit is just not working out for you, then it might be time to move on. If you think you can try again, I don’t recommend you continue reading this post :)

Right from the get a go, this might be a cheating situation. Either you cheated on someone or someone cheated on you. It’s cool, we don’t judge, shit spills when the drain is clogged. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic (or a relationship) affair, it could also be a work situation (much like drama office). Whatever it was, it’s irrelevant when compared to the universal truth of pile three: there was foul play in here.

Let us start slow and from the beginning. Fact: you don’t like to be alone. Consequence: you withstand a lot of shit from people as to not feel like you don’t belong. You might be a pushover with a lot of migraine issues. You don’t really put up a fight, especially when talking about this situation in specific.

You don’t like direct conflict. You avoid it, take the punches for the sake of peace, keeping your image clean. Some of you had/have a really bad relationship with your mother, or had someone belittle you a lot during your formative years. A family member might have drink a lot around you. A kitchen has a powerful meaning for some of you (this is very specific, but a tile floor and a room with yellow tones). Nonetheless, to stay in this situation you keep your mouth shut and take the beating. You’re very emotionally weak though, stop lying to yourself about it. Thinking really fuck up comebacks capable of destroying the strongest of enemies doesn’t mean much if you don’t actually use them (granted, you are watching out for yourself and that’s understandable). What’s hard to comprehend is why you put yourself in said situation to begin with.

You have a beggar mentality. Be it for love, money, or validation. You are willing to put up with a lot of crap if the reward is worth the trouble. You have grown dependent of this situation. You might work in an office job or wear blue as part of your uniform. You don’t have any loyalty whatsoever, some of you might be well-known snitches. You put value in people based on what they can offer to you.

A lot of people don’t like you, pile three. They are praying for your downfall in silence. For some, someone you trust is among them (please take this with a grain of salt. If you had no indication of a person plotting against you before, don’t force it now). For others, your friends are ready to give up on you if you don’t pull yourself together. No one really knows why you do what you do, but they don’t trust you. Someone finds you pitiful.

You are seeking something, but you are doing the whole treasure hunt gig wrong. Growing up no one really payed much attention to you, and now you search for it the only way you know; staying quiet or causing trouble. And you don’t understand why despite all your efforts you can’t seem to achieve what others do so easily. You have an inferiority complex, regardless if you come from money or not. Some of you might actually been raised on poverty or a really competitive environment. “Many mouths to feed, not enough hands to work.”

Despite it all, all you ever want is a good, simple life. But you refuse to let go of old mentalities. You want to be the little man and ride off the success of someone else. You don’t want to do anything at all. But lately you have been so fucking depressed and no one wants to be your friend.

But hey, you kept on reading, which means you are ready to give the move on thing a chance.

You want to improve, that’s more than some people can say. You don’t want to be a sentient puppet, you want to be a person with deepness and layers to them. You want to have a major life change, which most likely means you fucked up big time and want to improve. You hurt someone, or someone hurt you (granted, it might have been warranted). But you, quiet literally, want to expel the ugliness out of you, and frankly speaking some people are not having it. They want you to stay the bad person to elevated themselves. But there’s also people around you that are more than willing to help you out, which might confuse you because you won’t know who to trust. You’re ready to put the work, though.

Still, you think life will become boring. If there’s not a villain then there’s not a story to tell. No bad decisions to be made, no more late night drunken shenanigans. So you might be a bit unsteady, prone to giving in everyone once in a while, which might halt any progress you had made. You might have BIG time trust issues. “Leave before they leave you,” stuff going on. Truthfully, you will never move on if you don’t lose that.

HOW TO MOVE ON (FROM THE SITUATION).

To move on, you have to let go of the idea of a perfect life, a perfect you, in a perfect world. There’s no such thing as a life without issues. If you want something you have to put the work into it. Cheating your way into victory is getting a medal without value. Have you watched Wreck-it-Ralph? Yeah? Then you know what I mean. You don’t need to be the most powerful person in the room to be the most loved, the most respected.

Being the first to punch doesn’t make you a better person, m neither does not punching back. You have to stop looking a life thought black and white. You need to let go of this beggar mentality. “You are rich if you’re not poor and you’re poor if your not rich.” Shit don’t work like that bro. You don’t have to break a heart to prove that you have love and were loved. You don’t have to make people hurt you and grovel for your forgiveness just to see that they care. You have to stop seeing everyone as your enemy.

Life is all about how we interact with the universe. Life with life, not life against life. Don’t run from something just because you expect the worst. Nothing will ever be set on stone. Nothing will forever be good and nothing will forever be bad. It’s all about what teachings you decide to carry with you and how you apply them in your everyday. We are constantly learning and changing, for better or for worse.

You have to understand that people have fears just like you, that people can get hurt by your actions. Be more patience, don’t jump at the slightest movement. Don’t enter the first exit you see, let the road take you to your destination. And stop trying to hurt people for the sake of hurting, it’s not cool.

Don’t give value to people based on what they can give to you. You are missing out on so many experiences and learning opportunities by closing off from others. You are blinded by an artificial dream to see what the universe is trying to gift to you. (This is oddly specific, but please stop watching so much porn). It’s okay to ask for help bro, and maybe it’s about damn time you do. You might discover different perspectives about things you used to think yourself an expert on. And stop procrastinating so much, you got shit to do, masterpieces to create.

Don’t be so closed off to new experiences, and try new activities. You won’t belong anywhere if you keep pretending to be someone you aren’t. When you feel the most comfortable, you will find yourself surrounded by people who love you just the way you are. Breaking news, love is not supposed to make you feel like shit.

Also, stop being so hasty. Slow down, take your time and enjoy the ride. You will appreciate all that you have if you simply take a moment to enjoy it.

Stop running away, you will only tired yourself.

You wish to belong so desperately, to fulfill an idea, that you are willing to lose yourself to the situation. Fake it till you make make, make yourself miserable that is. In essence, you are afraid of being alone, to never be wanted for who you are, and you prefer to burn the forest at the first sound of a branch snapping than letting life find you.

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It's really late and I'm very tired, but I had the urge to post this reading as soon as possible. I'll fix any mistakes tomorrow as soon as time allows me to do so. As always, thank you for trusting me with your energies, stay safe, and the universe loves you all <3

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