#and I'd need programs and stuff

[otterandterrier]

I found the listing for the 1 bedroom apartment next door to mine. rent is more or less what I expected, which is a lot because everything is a lot here these days, including my current studio apartment.

I don't know what to do, like I could *probably* make it, especially if I get more clients (which I might soon), but it might be tight/won't be able to save as much as I've been saving so far. but at the same time what am I even doing with those savings? it's not enough to do anything big, like a trip abroad or a car or a house, and I barely even go on vacation. so why not at least upgrade to a place that at least has a balcony I can sit on...?

#this is why i needed to start therapy for lol #but i haven't looked for a therapist yet so tumblr will have to do #i don't know #what i'd really like is to go on one of those 6 months programs abroad but #even without the cat i've always been like #what about my stuff and my rent? i can't keep paying rent for an empty apartment #i'm not going to sublet it with my stuff here #we don't have storage lots here #and clearly i'm not moving out of the country indefinitely either #so again... maybe i should just move and stop dreaming about stuff i'm not going to do anyway?

[unxpctedlygreat]

Looking at laptops and i'm just @.@

Anyone has recommendations...? ;v;

#morgane's talking alone #i need a big screen and for it to be able to run like. ts4 for example but also just have art programs open and not die #ideally 1tb storage bc i save lots of stuff and never remove them <3 (i did back it all up on a external hd) #everything is like. 3k€ or more though orz #but if i'm gonna try and dish out 2-3k then i'd want to be Sure but i am highly indecisive and make bad choices always

[rotisseries]

I've started trying to draw digitally on my phone and it took a minute to get used to because it's not a pencil but this fucks

#I've always wanted to try drawing digital bc I don't draw much traditional and tbh I think it's cause of issues that digital fixes #like obviously one isn't easier than the other you know #but with traditional you gotta make sure you have your stuff and erasing too much fucks shit up and I like to hide it #but for the last 2 years I've been sharing my bedroom so that's not as easy and I like privacy #and it's all just. easier. if I can just turn a device off and if the only thing you need is a screen and a stylus #but I didn't wanna ask for a tablet for it bc I couldn't be sure I'd actually USE it #since again. I don't draw much #but when I got my switch I bought a case that came with accessories. INCLUDING. a stylus. that works on my phone #so now I'm trying it with a free drawing program and yeah this is great #if I fuck up proportions I can just RESCALE BITS. YAY

[extemporaneousmusings]

15/11/23

Today I:

-read soooo much fic :)

-did some further thinking and now feel better about things after being kinda shook following my return session in PT for my ankle yesterday. It's more of an issue in the short term than I realized and she gave me a lot to think about. I am going to have a conversation with an ortho specialist about the prospect of some surgical intervention, but today I really came to terms with the fact that I don't need to make a decision about anything major until I have more information, and land a job with benefits that are better than my student health insurance

-got Jamila's # :))) we are going to brainstorm in-universe ketterdam fic ideas :))) I'm so excited!

#personal #good things #ankle angst #i think will be the tag #i haven't had a tag for it before #and didn't post SO much about it back when the injury was fresh in 2017 #but I've basically ignored it for the past 3 years after getting myself to a place where i could do the museum/hiking program in Greece #and have decided recently that i need to be more intentional with its maintenance #and I knew it would be intense but didn't fully realize how big of an emotional reaction I'd have to be working on it again #and with the same PT who taught me how to walk again #so I feel like working on it again will be a struggle regardless of whether I need to have surgery again or not #that I will hopefully sometimes be able to reflect on positively #but body/injury stuff can bother some ppl #and also I like to track these things #so that will be the dedicated tag

[dewitty1]

Saturday Six (Stuff)

The Dude (@super-ultra-mega-kami-guru-blog) comes home Monday night!( ´͈ ॢꇴ `͈ॢ)･*♡

I guess the kittehs have been good company. Leeloo has been a typical kitten aka a terror. (^・ω・^ )

As much as I don't want my parents to interfere in my business I do want my mom to ask her bestie, WTF, because I did an estimate for her and I have heard back and I need money like now. Mom said no, and rightfully so, but still, lol.（’-’*)

Speaking of parents, Mom asked me to come hang out at their old people gratitude dinner today. Umm, yeah no thanks. Once was enough. I'm fine hanging out with myself.٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑)ᵒᵏᵎᵎᵎᵎ

Seriously the worst part of being a small business person is worrying about money. We hates it.( •̀ω•́ )σ

And even though he's a jerk about it, Dad is helping me get tires on my car. That's one good thing, he'll always keep the car up. Though he still calls it "his" car. s(・｀ヘ´・;)ゞ

Bonus: Happy End of Daylight Saving Time weekend! Tonight most of the USA imitates Cher and turns back time, the Standard clock. WHEEEE. (not fun. We hates the dark) (´～`)

#Saturday Six #About me #Personal #November 4 2023 #please do not reblog #Carey rambles about life and stuff and her parents and it's amazing that her mom actually thought that she might be a little lonely which y #But I do not want to hang out with a bunch of old - now sober - drunks - most of whom are jerks anyway and have a pseudo Thanksgiving #I'd rather do accounting - which I actively LOATHE lolololol #And I'm making chili (con carne & frijoles for you sticklers) #so yeah anyway #I'm excited for the dude to come home #I guess - though it's been nice having the house to myself #I hooe their dad has talked to them about working 🙏 #Alrighty enough rambles in the tags #I hope you have a great day or night wherever you are #Don't let the current events happening get you down #I hope all your loved ones are safe #Hugssss from mom or just a friend whatever you need right now ٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤💜 💙 💚 �� ❤️ 💕 💖 #I appreciate y'all reading my nonsensical ramblings every time I throw them out! 💗 #Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

idk if ur fr. but like be a clown. i went to theater school so my adviser a full ass doctorate haver was a clown (people love this ill tell them this and theyll be like. ‘wow you really have beef w her?’ and i gotta be like. no shes a whole ass performance clown?) sf has a clown troupe that is historically notable and i gotta believe there are others PLUS ur more typical traveling stuff. and hey. birthday party gigs are always there when ur not traveling. the world needs more clowns. u could probably always get some sort of office job qhen ur done clowning, but getting into clown school young is probably best if you want to do physical stuff too

honestly i'd love to be a clown. but i do have a passion for psychology so i'd want to finish my bachelors at least before i start with anything more. but i also really do want to perform. i love dancing i love being funny i love making people laugh i think i'd like to be a clown. i would need to do some research on schools/classes and the costs but i think i really want to take a shot at it

#i'm like legitimately putting a lot of thought into this because i think i'd really like it but i don't have the time atm #but maybe if i took a break between my bachelors and my masters i could try some clownery? #i can't really derail my psych stuff though. i'm probably gonna need a doctorate but i can try to do both #i'm going to do some more research but i think it's a promising option #because while i do love psychology idk if i want a super typical psych job #i'd probably want to do studies and write journals and whatnot. maybe be a professor. that or counselling #and i can't imaging being a clown on the side would make any of those worse #one of my profs has been pushing me to find something new to be passionate about (that does not include library stools) #and tbh i'm like wayyy less depressed when i can do something physical and performative #like i dance when i have the time and i really enjoy it and i think i'd enjoy being a clown as well #hmmm #well if everything goes to plan i'll graduate w my bachelors next fall and i can always try out a clown school before i start my masters #or do them both at the same time but idk how demanding either will be #but the masters program i've been eyeing is a little over 2 years with summers #and a lot of the classes are in the afternoon to allow for work #so maybe i could do both #i'll definitely think about it some more #ask

[hypabeast]

does tumblr know about diamondfire? because given how many of yall like both minecraft and programming i feel like a lot of people here would like it. also quite a few people there, including staff, are furries

#minecraft #programming #diamondfire #you DO need to buy a rank for advanced stuff like armor stands and display entities though. which is annoying #but people have STAGGERINGLY good stuff without a rank #and you can even get ranks for free as a reward for the occasional game jam #so i'd say it balances out #Youtube

[bluejayblueskies]

i feel like i've got whatever the opposite of imposter syndrome is going on in grad school rn where i constantly have to be like 'actually, i do have a background in this and i do know what i'm doing and i'm allowed to make mistakes without being looked down on because of them'

#my bosses and professors are not the problem (they're all super chill and actually really good at. you know. trusting me with stuff) #it's my classmates and coworkers #(specifically my male classmates and coworkers though given that my program is male-dominated idk how much that actually says) #like. i don't want to jump right to it being bc i'm female presenting but also. idk idk #it's just really frustrating bc like. idk #i was talking about one of my projects with one of my coworkers yesterday (who i work with a lot and am semi-friends with) #and i was talking about how i'm seeing some things in the analysis of the recordings i made of myself etc. etc. #and i was like 'but you know since it was just me i would need a bigger sample size in order to make a conclusion about this' #and he was like 'yeah yeah like an actual professional saxophonist' #and i was like '.... i *am* a professional saxophonist' bc. i am! i have a degree in saxophone! #never forget the time a guy came into the office asking me to take some stuff of an SD card #off* #and then when i was having trouble finding it (turns out it was compacted into this weird file type i'd never seen before) #''''helpfully'''' told me that files are usually stored in folders #anyway. i'm very tired #personal

[stinkbeck]

people will try 2 defend me + say “oh she’s just misunderstood :’( she’s not all bad...” i am opportunistic as FUCK. i went 2 the grocery store for some pizza and milk + i left with a shitton of sale items. i don’t have 2 go back there 4 like 2 weeks probably. there’s something really off about me. there’s something seriously dark and mysterious and horrendously evil about me.

#sorry i'm still SO MAD about this girl. hoping this anger will run its course SOON LOL #ugh i need some other friends outside this fucking program. but it takes years 4 me 2 warm up 2 anyone + i'd rather be working on my stuff #why r some people so determined 2 make other people feel like they're irrevocably damaged?

[juyomiao]

the eternal dilemma every time i open google docs : do i write fanfiction or do i actually do my english homework

#i hate my new english teacher like omg wdym i actually Have to study n have homework to do #he was so upset abt the fact that no one in the class knew what the capital of wales is like #is it that serious #n then bc of that he asked us to name 5 cities in england but he decided which ones were ok or not #like manchester cambridge oxford etc. didnt count bc they were 'too known' #like bro u r asking a bunch of 18-20+yos who r repeating one or more school yrs abt stuff we did in elementary school #n then bc of that he told us to do a research on ireland that is literally so unnecessary bc it has nothing to do with the program #we only need the essential stuff to graduate pls im so tired i should've finished high school last year #dont make this harder than it already is smh #like this is not public school if i wanted to do shit that is irrelevant to my course of study i'd go there

[drawingswatson-holmes]

Human art inspires me, and sometimes makes me depressed because obviously some people just are talented and better and I clearly am not at that point yet LoL. But AI art makes me upset in general because yeah people's art are stolen and yeah it's arguably prettier than you expected, but at least with human art you realize effort, inspiration, and practiced talents went into the piece even if it's kinda ugly to the public.

Human art says, if I can make it, I hope you realize you can make something like this too. We are both humans.

AI art is like a child broke all your precious china's and then sent them to a recycling shop to make new and better china's using the reference pictures but you're still fuming that your original physical dishes were destroyed.

#ai art slander #what.text #ai art is pretty #but I'd rather see the links to the reference photos it pulled off of #until ai art can genuinely be like dbh where the ai makes original pieces instead of balant ripped off copies i can respect ai as an artist #rn it's just a convenient program people use to destroy the careers of people who make products with sweat blood and tears #tbh i only really REALLY despise it when people start defending ai related things for the smallest reasons #that weird need to defend ai that steals from folks rather than learns from the stuff it takes #shouldn't even exist #mod watson

[datastate]

i’ll probably have to continue it honestly... until things stabilize. i don’t know why i’m doubting it

#i'll still have enough time to draw/write/program on the side at least... #gahh. idk. i mean i. would really. really love to be in an art college. but i just don't have the ability to make it #in that type of field. not at this point anyway. it'd be really cool i just Know i'd love it but. i don't knowww #i'm still so upset the pandemic interrupted the art director from the college i want to go to from being able to host it #there were so few people that were chosen that could've visited the campus and then we didn't even get a chance #so i don't even have that introduction to a school like that. but i really want to go to one #but if i already have work then it's just like... why give up a well-paying job when the family needs it. you know? #it's just. absolutely ridiculous the way i just want to at least give it a chance. to visit it. see what it's about. but who the fuck has #money like that. to treat it so flippantly. like. agh #i need to stop thinking abt this stuff LOL it's whatever #jestersvaguely

[dewitty1]

Saturday Six (Stuff)

The Dude (@super-ultra-mega-kami-guru-blog) and I were still testing positive for Covid on Wednesday. Ugh. I the congestion (for me) and the cough (for them) is still lingering. Hopefully when we test tomorrow it will be negative. We both really, really exasperated with this shite.( ಠ ಠ )

Leeloo kitten has been the only thing to keep me from being totally depressed during this illness. I'm glad I made a snap decision to take her home.₍˄ุ.͡˳̫.˄ุ₎ฅ˒˒

Although my parents have been really helpful, I know they're tired of having to help us out. Idk what they'd like us to do though. It's not like we planned to get sick. It could have even been mom who got us sick. Who knows?(~_~;)

I am seriously upset that someone did get us sick though. We've been pretty fastidious about staying away from people, cleaning up, and everything. Idk. It's really annoying. I want the new booster asap.(.﹒︣︿﹒︣.)

Trying to look for positive stuff, because I know my therapist will ask, and it's really hard. (゜-゜)

The weather has been nice even if I couldn't really enjoy it as much as I'd have liked too. I'll be sad to take my patio down next month. (⁎•̛̣̣꒶̯•̛̣̣⁎)

#Saturday Six #Personal #About me #Please do not reblog #Carey rambles about life and stuff and being sick which sucks asss #I haven't been sick like since 2017 when I got vertigo #I hate this snotty shite I've got going on #Fuck fucking covid Ughhhhh #Anyway I'd better be negative tomorrow #welp anyways #Thank y'all so much for being here and reading my nonsensical ramblings #I hope you have a great day or night wherever you are #Hugssss from mom or just a friend whatever you need right now ٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤💜 💙 💚 💛 ❤️ 💕 💖 #Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

[9hikers]

my hc about gallifreyan pronouns has sent me on a wild tangent about common/trade languages in scifi and i am deeply afraid that this is going to be my whole day

#9 speaks #if you're dealing with thousands of alien species all with different concepts of life and death and self #i feel like having one singular common language would be impossible and instead it'd be more like programming languages #where like. if you want to go into intergalactic politics you're going to need to learn a different language than the person hauling cargo #there's probably shared words and structures - very basic things that don't differ much between species #but for the individual common languages it's like. purely functional. 'box goes here' 'crate is explosive' kinda stuff #for more conversational dialog you likely have to differ to one species' native language #which i'd imagine there's more popular languages based on which species get around the most #i dunno. i'm fighting the urge not to start worldbuilding the entire goddamn universe of 613 because of this one thought

[medicinemane]

I still wonder about the people who double down on communism... and not even like me when I was younger where I got (not the full extent, but got) that the soviet union and such were awful, but just thought that maybe with less terrible people at the helm it could work (later realizing that these kind of things always have power hungry people rise to the top) Anyway, no I just don't get the "well see, you've admitted your great grandpa owned a chicken, sounds like he deserved to die" people... like the fuck is there even to gain here about being smug while dying on a particularly stupid hill?

#I'm not even gonna try and define what I am with this stuff #cause see; everyone's decided that these terms have super solid cut and dry definitions #when it's like man... people obviously use the same terms to describe wildly different things #you're just being pig headed if you don't accept that and work off what they're saying rather than latching onto a single word #but pig headed they be; so no tossing out single words to latch on to #So what I think is that some level of welfare is both good and also required #and that currency is one of the more effective ways to distribute resources and labor without a whole lot of headache #I want social programs; and if your no details given ask me if I want more or less I'm gonna lean towards more #because apart from the humanitarian point of view; from and economic point of view I think poor people spend money cause they need to #so I think giving benefits; giving health insurance; giving a universal basic income #all end up being good ways to slush money through the system; because things like hospitals benefit from steady use #you want people to have access to them; because that's how they continue to operate #and I think that theft or not taxes are a fact; and I'd rather they go to shit like that #(and I still say senators and the house should only have the healthcare and pay they'd normally qualify for) #(see how long medicaid for all takes to pass if they don't get special insurance; ya dig?) #so that's my point of view; businesses are good; regulation is good; welfare is good; government accountability and transparency are good #I have some terms I could mash together to kinda describe it; but I won't cause that's a fool's errand #so you assign whatever term you want for that in your head; I ain't naming it #but tankies are dumb as shit; I'll say that much; just kinda cruel for the sake of getting a chance to be the one being cruel

[fabulous-cookware252]

I just saw the worst, least-understanding-of-the-plot,-characters,-and-themes post about a classic movie I love and I can't let go of the bafflement it made me feel. I'm hoping ranting about it will be cathartic enough to lower my blood pressure.

#GOD. How do you misinterpret a movie like that and sum it up so fucking poorly? Reducing the main character's main struggle and conflict and #even their characterization and making literally the most surface-level 'never-seen-the-movie-but-I-have-opinions-anyways' take. AUGHH #you can't tell me that THAT was what the movie was about. That was yes. an important part of the movie but they've misinterpreted WHY it #happened so damn badly that I'd be surprised if they even saw the movie outside of 20 minute parodies. #Even then you'd be completely lacking understanding of the PARODIES. #You don't understand the characters. you don't understand the plot or themes. you don't understand the significance of a MAJOR plot point- #or what it and it's wrapping up meant for the MC. I'm just so baffled to how you could watch that movie and take away so little. #It flew over their head so far that - even though their post is a year old - the plot is still flying to this day. never to land. #Sometimes I wish I took that scholarship with that film studies majoring program just so I could scream about stuff like this professionall #anyways #I know my anger's just a bit petty but it's not really about the movie at this point it's about the lack of media comprehension this person #exhibited and how they could so confidently post this horribly warped 'understanding' of it all. #it's not even the first time they've done this. and they have tons of followers (who've never seen the film either) that they've - #roped into this take too #JUST WATCH THE MOVIE FFSAKE #I need a nap #my post #film history