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#and I'm LOSING IT it doesnt even look good help
chanselysees · 10 months
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#sorry i need to vent ignore this#my new years resolution for 2023 was to work out consistently and get fit#bc i was really embarrassed at how physically weak i was last summer#and for the most part i did but with prepa and stuff i couldnt exercise as much as i wanted#but i still lost a bit of weight and was somewhat happy with the results for a while but#now i hate it again i hate it so much#ive been dancing a LOT (like 4h/week min. which is a lot for a fulltime uni student) bc it's convenient and good cardio and most of all FUN#and yeah the weight i lost is due to that and my cardio is good and im definitely much more fit than last year but#i still hate the way i look. so viscerally. and i know its my brain telling me nonsense bc it's not like a body can 'look bad'#and i'm lit a healthy weight im just a little thicker than french standards?#but i need to exercise more i want to lose all this fat i pinch my skin and wish it would melt beneath my fingers#but i dont have time or money for the gym and no buddy to go with and im intimidated so i just work out from home but#it's not enough i feel so discouraged. body dysmorphia in the summer really doesnt help my seasonal depression#like i truly believed this year would be my 'summer body' or whatever shit that means and its not and idk what to do i just want to be#in another persons skin. have another persons body. anyone truly#to the point that dancing isnt even fun for me anymore it's just competitive w myself i want to maximize the calories i burn and#i sometimes record myself cause i want to see the steps i miss and i did and i saw my body and it killed all my joy.#made me wanna die and cry. i stopped dancing immediately and i just swallowed back the tears cause theres no way i look like that.#so repulsive and nowhere near where i wanted. and again i know it's in my head there's no such thing as a 'repulsive' body due to weight!?!#but i cant apply that reasoning to myself. and i hate myself so much rn#im being called for dinner rn but i'd honestly rather not eat. i think i'd feel horribly gross if i ate anything right now#i told my friends i'd stop using hunger as a form of self-punishment but it almost feels satisfying in a twisted way... like i deserve it#clara tais toi#like ia m SO obsessed with my appearance in a way that is borderline unhealthy i am SO#preoccupied by how im perceived (physically) if i look hot if i look pretty if i look cute at any and all times and#the answer is never ever satisfactory because other ppls judgement of me cannot fix my own but like#it's so exhausting. i'm so exhausted#dl later
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littlestardude · 11 months
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⏤͟͟͞͞☆Dating Kyle HCs || Kyle Broflovski x Reader
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✰ - SFW & NSFW - ✰
Summary: Kyle Bf HCs!
Note: I'm so in love with Kyle it's unreal, he's so pookie, college kiddos :)) also sorry for being SO slow with reqs :(( I unfortunately lose motivation very quickly, so by the time I start it by then end I'm just.,. Trudging thru 😔 I HAVE SOME KENJORINE I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET OUT! BUT ARGHHHH, also some Stan bf headcanons
TW: Smut at the end
Gender: AFAB Gen!Neutral
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✰ - SFW - ✰
I feel like sumtimes he'd be unintentionally possessive of you 😔
He can't help it, he feels like you're too perfect for him so he tries to keep you to himself
If you ever bring it up to him he'd feel rlly bad about it, and then tell you that
He's insecure, hold him :((
And when you do, tell him how pretty he is bcs
OMG HE'S SO PRETTY
He's literally the prettiest boy ever I'm gonna fucking sob
His curls are so vibrant, and coily and long, I could get lost playing in his hair forever
We already know he hid it before
But you were talking to your friends and he was somewhere in the vicinity and you were just like,
"HIS HAIR IS SO PRETTY I COULD CRY, AND HE HIDES IT :,(( I just wanna play with it all the time but I don't wanna like... Accidentally make him self-conscious or something :((("
He stopped wearing his hat as much after that.
You noticed it too and you weren't sure if he heard you but you were happy his hair was free
Also his eyes are so pretty
He could be so pissed and ranting and u could just be. Staring into his eyes and he'd be like,
"What are you looking at. "
"Your eyes are so pretty, Ky :)) "
He calmed down pretty quickly after that.
ALSO NICKNAMES.
The first time you used that nickname on him he. He melted. He turned so red like,
"W-what did you just call me"
He looked cute as hell tho :3
You started easing him into the nicknames and he got used to it, he even started using some nicknames for you too!!
He's so cute when he does to, because you can tell he's trying!
Sometimes when his temper gets really bad you just hold him to your chest and lay down and play with his hair, he calls down pretty quickly
And if you're in public you just bring him somewhere private and just hug him, and then you guys can walk around while you hold hands
He's not the biggest fan of PDA but likes holding your hand :))
But when he's in private he's all over you, just hugging and kissing you
He's not the best with words, at least words he says out loud bcs
He does poetry! Actual good poetry!
But he loves just hugging you, he likes you on top of him because the pressure feels nice
He's got autism! And he's got that unintentional autistic rizz, if yknow what I mean
Sometimes he'll just say something, you'll just stare at him and blush like crazy and he's just like,
"What'd I say"
You just stare bcs theres no words left...
Very unintentionally blunt as well
You two enjoy silent company a lot! esp Kyle
Sometimes his friends and family and school just get too overwhelming, so he'll just ask you to come over while he does his homework and sometimes you'll do yours and you guys just get to be close 🥰
There's been some times when... Yknow what I'll save it for the NSFW part :3
He's definitely a cat person and you guys would look forward to getting a cat together! Maybe 2 :)))
He really is a well intentioned person, he's just so sweet :((
I feel like this poor boy got SO nervous to meet your parents
Like, y'all went to a restaurant together and he dressed all fancy and was just. So awkward
He worries so much about what to say that he ends up speaking like a robot, and then would randomly follow it with awkward laughter 💀
He was so embarrassed 😭 but you cuddled him and told him it was fine
And you later got a text from your parents saying he was a good guy! Bcs he is!
He's so cat boy too like... When he just needs to recharge he just hobbles over to you and just. Flops.
Doesnt matter what you're doing, because now you're cuddling Kyle.
It's cute tho, because he's definitely learned how to recognize when he needs a break from college work
Bonus points if you play with his hair and kiss him all over 🥰
You guys used to, keyword, used to. Play games together, he would try so hard not to get competitive about it ,but let's just say you both said some things about each other's mothers, and it's just been awhile since you've played.
He likes sharing his music with you! And let's just say you were surprised to find out he was a The Cure fan, you just wouldn't expect it from his dorky self!
But they're one of the few artists he can freely stim to
You guys will listen to loud music together just to scream the lyrics bcs, MAN sometimes u just wanna scream, yknow?
He only likes to sing stuff he can scream, if it's something that requires vocal control he's outta there
But you heard him sing normally one time and he was so cute ☹️❤❤ he was cleaning around his dorm and had his headphones on and you arrive without him noticing and you just heard him singing his lil tune in his soft voice... Dead on the spot, there were no survivors.
Eventually learns that when partners complain about things he just has to listen, he's too logical and learnt the hard way that you just want to vent rather than actually solve the problem
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✰ - NSFW - ✰
So, "studying"?
The "both" of you were focusing on homework, just Kyle really. He was at his desk and he seemed to be focusing, he looked so intense. You found yourself staring at him for awhile, you just couldn't help it. You check the time on your phone.
"He has time." , you thought to yourself.
You closed the book you had stopped paying attention to 20 minutes ago and faced his turned back. You carefully tiptoed over and gave his back a tap, he turned around, still looking at his book and papers.
"Yeah, what's up? ", he said, not really paying attention.
You carefully grabbed his chin and turned his face toward you, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.
"Kyleeee, I'm bored, can't we do something else? " you whined.
"I'm sorry, y/n but I really have to finish these assignments..."
You pulled out your phone and showed him the time and date.
"But Kyleee, you still have a few days before you need to finish them, I know you like to finish them before they're due but can't you take a little break? For some fun at least? ", you speaking the last words in a suggestive tone made him turn red, he seemed to be contemplating it but he had already made up his mind.
"Alright then, come here, " he sat you down on his lap and began kissing you. The both of your lips meshing together, slowly becoming more filled with passion.
"Do you wanna stay here or move to your bed? "
"Anything beats sitting in this chair... ", he picked you up and set you on the bed, not before stretching his back and cracking it, " that felt so good... I hate that fucking chair, man, "
He laid back down on the bed and continued kissing you, you slowly positioned yourself on top of him. He was so distracted, he didn't even notice.
You were about to take off your shirt, but we're stopped.
"What's wrong, Ky? "
"C-Can you keep the shirt on? I like seeing you in my clothes... "
The shirt in question was an oversized shirt he let you borrow after sleeping over the night prior.
You kissed him and smiled softly, "Okay, Kyle... I'll keep it on, but if I can't take off anything else I'll go crazy... " you laughed a bit and he laughed with you.
"Don't worry, I won't stop you anymore... "
"Good, " even before you finished speaking you shifted both of your legs to the side of him to easily take off the boxers he'd also lent you. You moved back and began kissing him again, this time with more heat than before.
As the two of your lips clashed together you began to gently palm at his hardening member, and as you did he let out a shakey breath.
You positioned yourself right above and began grinding into him, the two of you softly moaning into each other's kisses. He slowly traced his hand over your thigh and gave it a squeeze, a squeeze that would get increasingly tighter the more you played with him.
You could tell he was getting antsy with the way he squeezed your thigh so you figured it was finally time to set him free. You moved you hand to the waistband of his sweats and pulled them down, his hard cock springing free. The cold air down there made him grimace, but was soon changed as you slowly parted yourself on it.
You both fell out of the kiss as you two moaned as you slid down, your already dripping pussy making it easy to. It took a few moments until you were down at his base; his size was always something you had to adjust to.
Just as you were about to start moving his eagerness got the better of him and grabbed now the both of your thighs and moved you up and down. You moaned loudly at the sudden friction and bounced along with his help.
The two of you were moaning messes, which only increased the faster you moved. You once again found his lips in a hungry kiss, the room becoming much quieter when you did as you muffled each other's moans.
"Y-Y/N, I'm.. Ngh... Close, " he moaned out, you were barely able to form words and just breathlessly told him you were too.
The speed increased and you were seeing stars, which you saw more of as he placed his thumb on your clit and started to rub it.
The two of you quickly finished after that.
Kyle's confidence during sex has improved MASSIVELY
The first time y'all did it, he had NO clue what to do
He was so scared about where to put his hands, or if he grabbed you in the wrong place, especially if he grabbed too tightly
It also took you guys awhile to eventually lead up to it, the second Kyle felt it getting too heated he'd gently pull you off
You actually started to worry that he didn't like you anymore the more he did it
You asked him why he always did it and he, as red as his hair, told you he was a virgin and was too scared, and that he wouldn't know what to do
You softened on him and told him that you didn't care he was a virgin and that you would lead him the whole way
You two did it soon after. :p
Once he eventually gets the hang of everything he's good. So fucking good.
Definitely a switch but leans more towards sub
You find his hands so fucking attractive because they're so perfect,,, and pale,, and long
You love him fingering you because he reaches SO far and you're just on the highway to heaven 😍
Also as shown before, he's VERY vocal and he's so cute when he moans and whimpers...
It's something he DEF tried to hide but you were not letting him get away with it
Has a bit of a mommy kink tbh
Sometime dabbles into a bit of a breeding kink... 😗
Kyle 🤝 Kenny
Having beautiful, milky thighs
The first time you sucked him off you were just mesmerized with his thighs... Can u tell I like men's thighs 😔
Pull his hair please!
You've probably pegged him once or twice ngl... :3
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ddejavvu · 1 year
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Could you plz write abt Eddie x gf reader? The gist is Jason constantly picking on him + being cruel, but Ed never pays any mind + just responds in his Eddie fashion. But as soon as Jason says something about the reader, he defends her and goes ape shit on him. Sadly Ed loses the fight and comes home w/ a black eye and reader tries to figure out how he got it, but he doesnt have the heart to tell her what Jason said + tries to lie. Reader comforting Eddie would be nice to see for a change :'))
You don't bother turning when you hear the door to Eddie's trailer open, knowing you'll be jammed against the counter in a hug faster than you can. But when you don't feel Eddie's face smashed into your own you frown, spinning on your heel to see what the hold up is.
It's a black eye. And a split lip. And a mysterious trickle of blood down his cheek. There's a smattering of scrapes and rouge at his knuckles, too, and he's standing off-kilter. Your boy is beaten.
"Eddie!" You shriek loudly in alarm. You realize too late that he's got a headache, only realizing when he winces and a battered hand shoots up to cover his left ear.
"I- I'm sorry," You hastily babble, rushing to his side, "What happened? Who- who did this, are you okay?"
"I'll be fine," He assures you, though the nod of his head is wobbly, "I'm just gonna clean up in the bathroom, alright sweets?"
"No- no! Eddie," You rush to stop him, only slightly guilty to hinder progress in the name of information, "Please, just tell me what happened. I'll help you clean up, I- I just need to know!"
"It was Jason," Though he answers your question, he evades the underlying question after it with a sad smile, "'Should'a known one of these days he was gonna swing."
"I don't get it," You sniffle, moved to tears by Eddie's black-and-blue eye. You lead him into the trailer's bathroom, fumbling with disinfectant and a cotton ball, "He bothers you every day. He's never punched you before. What- what did he do? What was different?"
"Just felt like starting shit, I guess." Eddie shrugs, but his eyes are deep with concern. You bite the inside of your cheek, hating how defeated he looks as his eyelashes flutter shut for you to dab at the injury.
"I won't be mad at you, you know. If you were the first to swing. I- I'm not calling you a liar," You assure him when he goes stiff, "This just seems.. off."
"Yeah." He nods solemnly, eyes firmly shut even after you're done cleaning his cuts, "It- it was off. He just.. fuck, I know he was just saying it to get a rise out of me, I know he'd never say it to you or anything but I just couldn't let it slide. I didn't know his friends were gonna see us, I- I wouldn't have started anything if I knew I couldn't have finished it."
He rambles with the vigor of an excited child, all slurred words and hand gestures, though he's more like an accused in court. Your brain catches on one sentence and pulls the thread from the scene he'd woven you, and you fray it while you bandage his cut.
"To me? He'd never say it to me?"
His eyes scrunch even tighter shut, and you know he's realized his mistake.
"I didn't mean to say that," He grits his teeth, "Just- Just please pretend I didn't say that? I feel like I got threaded through a meat grinder," He huffs, rubbing at his good eye with a bloodied hand, "Do I get a deathbed wish for that?"
"You always say your deathbed wish is gonna be to buzz Steve's hair," You murmur, cupping his bandaged cheek as light as a feather, "Please tell me the truth, Eddie."
He sighs; you've got him.
"He said shit about you. He said- said you'd regret dating me. 'Said I'd drag you down until you were 'trailer trash' just like me and Wayne. I- God, I'm so scared of that, Y/N, I just.. I freaked out."
"I like your trailer," You hum after a tense moment of silence, prolonged eye contact between your sympathetic ones and his glossy ones.
He cracks a smile, but it doesn't reach his good eye.
"You're not dragging me down," You promise him, "You make me happy. I don't need to live in a penthouse to be successful, that comes from emotional fulfillment."
"Yeah? And you, uh, you think I fill you up?"
It's a joke; you're back in his comfort zone. He shoots you as much of a smirk as he can with one bad eye, and you bite your lip to stop from grinning too hard.
"You stuff me full," You gush, "I'm all filled up with ooey gooey, mushy gushy, sappy sweet love, Eddie, and every time you hug me it oozes out of me like slime."
"My slimy girl," He croons, laughter bubbling up in his chest even though you suspect it aches, "So sticky."
He yanks you in by your waist from where he's sitting on the toilet lid. He buries his face in your stomach and you're worried he'll aggravate his black eye, but he sighs in content.
"I know it was stupid," He sighs, nose prodding at your skin, "I just.. I don't like it when he sees through me like that. I always thought I kept everything pretty hidden, but I guess I'm afraid of what everyone else is. Ruining you."
You think he says it into your stomach so he doesn't have to look you in the eyes. You sigh, running a hand through his curls and cringing when one is caked in blood. His arms tighten around your waist at the contact, and you speak without planning ahead, a heartfelt ramble.
"You couldn't ruin me, Eddie. You make me happy, even if no one else wants to admit it. I don't care that you're still in senior year. I don't care that your uncle is your dad. I don't care that you live in a trailer. I don't care that you play dungeons and dragons. If I disliked any of those things I wouldn't be with you. You- you have to know how much I love you," You breathe shakily, tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, "Eddie, I have dreams about you. Just- mundane stuff, like vacuuming. Last night I had one where you were organizing your socks. And I woke up smiling. Our lives aren't boiled down to anything besides us, Eddie. I love you, and you love me, and that's why I'm happy."
Once you stop talking, shut your brain down from where it had been tipped on its side and gushing love, you realize your shirt is wet. He's shaking, shoulders trembling as he sobs into your stomach. When he looks up at you it's with a pathetic puppy-eyed pout, split lip wobbling.
"You dream about me," He wails, "I dream about you too! I dream about- about marrying you, about living together, trailer or no trailer. And- and I dream about falling asleep with you every night for the rest of my life," He chokes on his emotions, "I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you too, Eddie." You smile, watery as it curls over your face. He rushes to stand, nose bumping your own as he nuzzles his face against your skin. His shaky exhale washes over your face and smells like the blood caking his lips, but you let him press them to your cupid's bow without protest.
"I want to rearrange my socks now," He admits, a teary chuckle in his throat, "You can sit on the bed and watch. Be pretty, n'all that."
"I think you should rest," Your eyes are smiling just as much as your mouth is, sparkling with adoration, "But tomorrow can be sock day."
"Deal," He nods, one of his tears pressing into your own cheek and wetting your skin, "Tomorrow, and every day for the rest of our lives."
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azzumei · 1 year
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ღ a plus !
ღ summary: how would hsr men be like as parents? ღ
° characters: blade, danheng, jing yuan
° warnings: afab!reader, mentions of pregnancy
° genre: headcannons, fluff with some suggestive texts
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when danheng found out you were pregnant, he still had that cold, unfazed face- but on the inside he was indeed suprised and baffled.
you could've sworn you saw his entire body shaking, his face pale as the snow in belobog.
but to be honest, i feel like having a family for him would be planned- he sure isn't the type of man to just knock you up accidentally.
i'm betting you both would have twins, YES. son and daughter- I also bet danheng's genes would be super strong, so both of them would probably be the splitting image of your husband.
he would be the best at taking care of you!!, oh you're craving ice cream? he's on it. does the dress he bought for you during his and your 2nd anniversary doesn't fit you anymore? he's buying you a new, and more beautiful one.
he would be right there by your side whenever you feel nauseous or uneasy, whispering words of affirmation and whenever you doubt being a good mother- "you will be the best mother alive, i promise."
also, whenever you both are planning for the children on the way- he definitely gets excited and buys every single thing that can ensure safety for your children and cute things that would suit them too.
when theyre born, 100% he would be a strict, but caring dad. not letting them even touch a plastic knife or his spear.
and if the twins inherit their dad's dragon genes, he would look after them even more for the time being (he doesnt wanna lose the three of you ok)
overall 10/10 dad
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okay, this one is kinda tricky uhm-
when you told blade, he just chuckled and kissed you on the forehead- also not the type of man to just get you pregnant without expecting/planning it.
''thank you, my love.'' he would whisper, as he hugs you softly as he buries his neck in your neck.
during the pregnancy, because of his job, he can't be with you 24/7, but he'll try to spend as much time with you as he can. sending you sweet messages, and he would also hire a helper to help you through those days.
im thinking.. maybe a daughter- and yes he would also be a strict dad, but of course he would let her enjoy her life.
adores seeing the bump on your stomach getting bigger- perhaps you both might have another before the other is born....
def would spoil you!!! dresses, cardigans, the food you crave? hes buying them all.
during soft nights he would rub his hand in circles around your bump, you swear you could see hearts in his eyes whenever he does
overall, 9/10 dad
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jing yuan wasn't surprised, at all. though- he was proud and happy.. a miniature version of him and his beloved? how exciting!
since he sees yanqing as a son, jing yuan would definitely let your child(ren) be with yanqing whenever youre both not around- like a big brother. (but no swords yanqing...)
overprotective. yes- even if you just want to cut apples he'll do it instead. a minor cut on your finger makes him tense up, so- assure him you'll be just fine.
would spend more time with you, and certainly stop napping around and finish his work quickly so he can be with you.
i see him having triplets, but their looks are half and half with yours and jing yuan's. when theyre grown up- he would def train them to become stronger to protect themselves
somewhat strict, only if it contains having to wield something dangerous or going somewhere that has numerous monsters unsupervised is a big no. he doesnt wanna lose anyone again.
overall, 9.5/10 dad
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hollowed-theory-hall · 2 months
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re.: the weasleys + parenting
what's always bugged me most abt percy's fight with arthur (especially in the fandom, where everyone's like 'oh, he turned his back on harry and betrayed his family to side w the ministry) is that. that's hardly what the fight is about at all. the fight is about the fact that percy, an 18yo kid who just got promoted to his dream job instead of straight up losing any chance at ever being Minister (because they tried to scapegoat him into taking the blame for the crouch business even though he managed to keep the whole department running while his boss wasn't even there), comes home all excited to tell his parents that "Hey, he's not unemployed and bereft of any and all hope for his biggest dream", but rather that his skills and competence got recognized by The Most Important Man In The Government, and molly and arthur look him straight in the face and go—"no you didn't."
there is no mention whatsoever that they even try to be gentle about it, that they congratulate him first and then bring it up later like "just be careful around Fudge, he's always looking for people to get information from and you are the best of both worlds, close to the action and actually good at the job he hired you for", nothing of the sort. they straight up don't even consider how any of those factors might've weighed in Fudge's decision to hire him.
and, perhaps worst of all, they have no faith in Percy. he tells them "I'm working for the minister", and not only do they not spare a second to be happy for him over this frankly momentous achievement (or at the very least concern for the position it puts him in), they jump straight to conjectures and accusations. "you only got this because of Harry" has got to crush Percy, who was raised to believe that good things come to honest, hard-working people and who has been working for this since he was a small child. and it digs the knife deeper when you realize that most of his siblings have basically replaced him with Harry. Harry, who also plays Quidditch and also keeps throwing himself into death-defying dangers and overalls fits much better into the family dynamic than Percy ever has.
and there's just this. crystal clear implication that they do believe Percy would spy on them. he's so Different and Other and Un-Weasley/Gryffindor-like and they've alienated themselves from him so absolutely that they can't see any reasons he wouldn't willingly and consciously jeopardize his parents' livelihood and Harry & his siblings safety just to stay in the Minister's good graces, when if anyone's actually at risk of losing their job for siding with Dumbledore is his father, who's still working there quite merrily and continues to so for a long time afterwards.
Percy, who runs into a freezing lake mid-February while attending an international event as Crouch's replacement to make sure Ron is alright, who pesters Ginny to eat and have a pepper-up potion most of her first year bc she doesnt look well, who tails Harry and Ron a lot of their second and third years bc there's something petrifying kids and then Dementors on the grounds and a mass murderer on the loose and they all just think he's being willfully bothersome like no you idiots he's worried.
of course he left. of course he left. what did he have to gain by staying at the Burrow, beyond fresh home cooked meals harassment and disagreements? why wouldn't he leave?
sorry I have a lot of feelings about this.
No need to apologize, this is brilliantly written!
I don't even feel like I need to add anything as you summed up the Percy situation perfectly.
But I can't help myself because I love discussing the Weasley family dynamics, so it's a bit more rumbley than my usual...
Percy cares so much for his family. When Voldemort is revealed and the war actually starts, he puts all his disagreements with his parents aside to come and help and make sure they're okay, because he cares. And still, he is being shunned and treated like an outsider.
Arthur and Molly Weasley are just really good at alienating their kids because it isn't just Percy.
Somehow all of them succeded in feeling like outsiders in a family of 9. Bill shows frustration with his parents and only returns to Britain because of the war, Charlie's in Romania for most of the series. Fred and George run away the moment they can and are treated like trouble by their parents most of the time (Molly and Arthur assume they are selling stolen goods from Mundungus when they hear they have money, not that they, idk, somehow earned it), Ron has a whole complex of low self-esteem and a tendency to blame himself for everything. Ginny is isolated from her brothers as the only girl and youngest...
And Percy cares and tries to be the best and most responsible sibling and gets scorned in turn.
Harry and Ron do acknowledge Arthur's and Molly's accusation towards Percy was awful and that he was right to respond negatively in OOTP. Ron is just sensitive about their family's financial state which soured Percy to him after Percy blew up at their dad (rightfully so, honestly, I'd say way worse to Arthur if it was me).
The thing is, Percy also gets scorned by his siblings, not just his parents (like Fred and George do). He gets grief for trying to be responsible and for wanting his siblings to do well in school and not get in trouble, Fred and George lock him in a pyramid...
That being said, do I think Percy is perfect? No, he is pretentious and overbearing at times, but he is a child in a large family who tries to find a place to fit himself in. According to child psychology, usually when it comes to siblings, the eldest would usually (at least in childhood) try to be everything the parents want (Bill), and then each next sibling will carve a different niche for themselves, and we see this with the Weasleys. I think the twins being born right after Percy and demanding a lot of attention from their parents from a young age as they were little troublemakers from the start is a big reason why Percy chose the niche of being bookish, ambitious, and responsible for himself. To contrast himself with them and his older brothers and get some attention from their parents.
I'm not a fan of the epilog (like everyone), but I find it hard to imagine Percy being close to his family post-books. I think he never fully got over the sting of not being seen as skilled and competent and that his parents believed he'd turn on them all without a second thought. Nor do I think he should just get over it.
Like, I'm really salty that Percy was the only one to apologize:
“I was a fool!” Percy roared, so loudly that Lupin nearly dropped his photograph. “I was an idiot, I was a pompous prat, I was a—a—” “Ministry-loving, family-disowning, power-hungry moron.” said Fred. Percy swallowed. “Yes, I was!” “Well, you can’t say fairer that that,” said Fred, holding out his hand to Percy. Mrs. Weasley burst into tears. She ran forward, pushed Fred aside, and pulled Percy into a strangling hug, while he patted her on the back, his eyes on his father. “I’m sorry, Dad.” Percy said.
(Deathly Hollows, pages 512-513)
Like, yes, it's great he was smart enough to realize the ministry is corrupt, but this demand only for him to apologize when Molly and Arthur Weasley were just as much in the wrong. Fred and George weren't beacons of sainthood here either. But none of them have apologies demanded of them. None of them are demanded to confess they are "morons". Just Percy.
Who even after his apology is still an outsider. Probably always will be one.
You said it best: "Why wouldn't he leave?"
And that's what we see him do (if temporarily).
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teddybeartoji · 7 days
Note
thinking a lot of thoughts about bf!gojo :(
he will be the sweetest bf ever.. it's a bit concerning with how attached he is to you, bordering on codependency but he just cant help it he loves you too much :(( everytime youre both together on something like lunch with friends or hanging out the sight of you two is enough to give anyone who spares a glance cavities.. his eyes are so in love and hes always got that dopey smile on his face, his touch is always gentle and caring despite him being a teasing asshole sometimes 😭
and behind closed doors ... dear god this man is INSATIABLE.. always has to have a hand around you and touching you !!!! and his sex drive.. erm.. yeah.. idk i see him as the type to want to do it everyday because he just loves you too much and he doesnt know what to do with himself and all this love he has !!!! theres something sweet about him just always wanting you and wanting to make you feel good eufnhffhehrjfnf
the stark difference between you two being such a sweet couple in public but also .. having seen each other INSIDE OUT quite literally is so hot and cute.. :( that level of intimacy .. :((( BF!GOJO WE NEED YOU !!!!!! ok this has gotten too long im sorry HAVE A GOOD DAY THANK YOU
HIIII MY SWEETHEART I'M SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!!! BUT I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M HERE!!!!! I'M HERE AND I'M FEELING TERRIBLY SOFT FOR HIM AND I NEED TO HAVE HIM IN MY ARMS RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!!!! i agree with everything you've said nonnie!!!! and i am covering you in kisses as thanks!!!! mwah mwah mwah!!!! wait also!!!!!!!!!!!! more exclamation marks!!!!!! please please please don't apologize for rambling!!!!!!!!!! i will always hear you out!!!!! i want more actually!!!!!!!!!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok everybody get comfortable bc i have some of bf!gojo headcanons for you!!!!
his pupils are literal hearts whenever he's with and whenever he's Thinking about you!!!! (i'm saying that his pupils are always like that)(he is simply unable to get you off his head)(he's not even trying)(he's so fucking in love with you).
he's constantly resting his head on your head or on your shoulder. this just came to me. he wraps his hands around your middle and he always gives you a squeeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a kiss on your neck. and he probably (read: definitely) smells you. and then hums into your skin. omfg i need to hug him so badly. i am losing my mind here nonnie...
okay and i just talked abt him taking naps with you too, right? and i just can't stop thinking about him always taking pics of you whenever you fall asleep on top of him:(((((((((((((( drooling or not, he's taking the pic!!!!!! AND i truly believe that he has begged (literally begged down on his hands and knees) shoko and suguru, so that they'll take pics of the two of you together aswell!!! satoru has a folder with like a THOUSAND pics of you both just napping together:((( he goes through it whenever he's really missing you:(((((((
ok and he loves taking showers and baths with you. loves, loves, loves. he just wants to sit under or in the water with you, just feeling your skin against him. feeling your heartbeat against him. he likes the intimacy of it all. it's so tender and so soft and so loving and he just wants to do everything with you. he's gonna take a fucking piss with you if you'd only let him.
he loves your smile sm. this is such a basic little concept but he does. nothing else in this sick world brings him as much joy as your smile and laughter. and oh my fucking god his heart feels like it's going to explode whenever he makes you laugh (which is all the time let's be honest he's very fucking funny and he is not afraid of making himself look like a fool just for you<3). he loves it when you laugh at cat videos, he loves it when you laugh at whatever the fuck is playing on the tv and he loves it when you laugh at a joke one of his friends make!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he goes a little insane whenever he sees you having fun with his friends:((((((((((((((((((((( it just means the world to him:(((( and you and the younger ones too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omfg when he sees you coddling gumi and yuuji and nobara:((((((((((((((((( stop, he literally feels like he's going to cry every time i am also crying i can't do this anymore
btw he always swings your hands whenever his fingers are interwiened with yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhh!!!!!!! and he has that big dopey smile on his lips again and his dimples are showing and he's laughing so loudly that everybody is turning to look at you both on the street but you couldn't care any less!!!!!!! how could you when your boyfriend is making your heart grow twice the size it was before and you just feel so giddy and so full of love and you want to kiss him stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he loves spending his morning with you. i actually think of him as more of a morning person actually idk how popular that concept is but yeah. don't get me wrong - he refuses to let you up from the bed for at least an hour after you wake up but he does have a lot of energy. he wants to kiss and he wants to hug and he wants to tickle and he wants you to play with his hair and he wants and he wants and he wants and you will give and give and give!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's a little lovesick puppy and he needs your attention like he needs air!!!!!
and then he wants you to brush his teeth for him. yes. you read that right. he sits you down onto the bathroom counter and bares his teeth at you like the puppy that he is and HE'S SO FUCKING CUTEEEEEE FUCKKKK CUTENESS AGGRESSION IS SO REAL I NEED TO JUST SQUEEZE HIM A LITTLE AAAAAAAAAAA I NEED TO PINCH HIS CHEEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!! he still looks sleepy and his smile is so fucking big and his hands are resting on your hips, his thumbs are drawing hearts into your skin. and he most definitely kisses you before he actually rinses his mouth.............. and then laughs when the toothpaste gets all over you. it's a mess and he's laughing and you're in love.
he loves it when you baby him. he does ask for it as a joke but when you genuinely do it he gets a little flustered. the tips of his ears always turn into a shade of dark pink and he's looking at you like puss in boots. you know what i'm talking abt. big eyes, fluttering eyelashes - he loves you so fucking much. he loves it when you tuck him in bed, he loves it when you kiss his nose, he loves it when you pinch his cheeks i am biased i just said i want to do that don't look at me, he loves it when you tickle him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT STOP HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU TICKLE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! HE WANTS YOU TO STRADDLE HIM AND TICKLE THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF HIM HE WANTS TO LAUGH WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i died
he also loves it when you cling to him. in any way. hands around his neck, around his body, around his arms - it does not matter. he wants you to quite literally climb him like a tree. he loves it when you snuggle into him and when you refuse to let him go. and when you hold his hand and try to stop him from leaving. he's not going to go. it doesn't take a lot for him to give into you. he's folding immediately. he doesn't want to go either. he loves it when you're needy. he loves it when you whine. he loves it when you tease him. he might pop a boner. at everything you do. he just loves you sooooooooooo muchh!!
18+ HE IS INSATIABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS THEE LOVERBOY!!!!!! i think he does like to get a taste of you every single day, no matter whether it's actually having sex or it's eating you out or it's just making out or it's entertaining you with his beautiful slender fingers or it's dry humping etcetcetc. he wants to touch you, he wants to feel you - it's a must!!
i already said it but he loves intimacy!!!! like yeah ofc he likes his freaky sex as much as the next guy (he most definitely likes it more than the next guy) but he loooooves when he can just be in the moment with you!! he's always savouring you - holding your hand when his burying his dick deep inside you, he's snaking his arm around your body as he grinds into you from behind. he's licking and nipping at your skin because he just can't get enough of you. he's sucking on your tongue, he's pressing your hips down against his, he's kissing every fucking inch of your body. i truly think he wants to eat you and he wants to devour you and he wants to merge the two of you together forever<33
okay i have officially melted away... i am a puddle of love Goo... ily nonnie
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kaizdreamz · 7 months
Text
Dan Heng rambles
i. ok listen, i know - i just did a fic with him, but- ok so. heres a funny story,
.
.
i love him a lot,, iM SOrRY
sfw and nsfw. 18+
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SFW
Dan heng who seems to be so put together and reserved to everyone else but melts against your hugs. Prefers having his head on your chest, his ear listening to your heart. but he does not mind if the roles were switched, he'll hold you against his chest and kiss the top of your head.
He loves when you hold his hand when no one is looking, squeezing it gently when you notice his anxiety. He loves when you guys are cuddling you play with his hair. Kissing and twirling it around your fingers, the gentle scent of the shampoo he uses filling your senses.
he adores it when you get pouty at him because he stayed up too late entering stuff into the data banks. You'll pull him away from his work, pulling his head against your chest, giving him gentle head scratches and laying down on his futon with him in your arms.
Dan heng swears he never gets sick as he is always cautious. But every now and then, he'll get a common cold, or the flu. And he'll refuse for you to touch him as he doesn't want you to become sick as well, but the moment you have your arms around him, or the moment you're so close to him, spoon feeding him soup you made in the kitchen. His heart flutters and he can't help but ignore the sickness, and ask for one kiss, or one hug. (It's never just one)
hes such a nervous lover, hes scared you'll get hurt by him or his past. he's slow and patient (i may expand on this ehe), he'll treat you as if you were a sacred treasure for him, and him only. his lips are sensitive and when you kiss him it feels 10x warmer and softer.
he gets cold easily, he doesnt complain though. he'll just wrap a blanket over his lap and continue working in the databank, if you're there with him, he'll subtly scoot over to you and continue reading. eventually it'll turn into cuddling, his arms around your waist, his face buried in your neck. soft and gentle touches make his heart swell, brushing your lips on his knuckles, booping his nose with your own, forehead nuzzles, everything, it makes him feel so soft and he loves you more and more.
"starlight", "love", "sweetie", those petnames he'll use when its just the two of you, in a soft setting, holding his hand. cuddling, even before you two go to sleep, he'll call you any of those.
(18+ nsfw, mdni)
"baby", "Honey", and any of the likes, he'll use when you two are sharing a very intimate moment together. he'll be out of breath, whining and moaning against your lips, his large hand wrapped around your waist, hugging you against him. he'll be gentle, he doesnt fuck, he makes love in my opinion.
he'll be so lost in the pleasure he'll babble on about how much you mean to him, how good it feels, he's never felt this way before. its overwhelming for him, he'll leave soft kisses on your face and neck.
he'll whisper in your ears how close he is, his hips would stutter, his rhythm would falter, he begs you to cum with him. calling you his pretty lover, his sweetheart, his sweet baby. he'll kiss your lips, moaning breathlessly in your mouth, poor thing falls apart in your arms.
"love, please- i'm, ah- im so close," he whimpers in your ear, one hand on your hips, bringing you closer to him as he thrusts inside of you. the other caressing your face, listening to every moan and whimper you emit.
you call him your good boy, and he'll just LOSE IT. his eyes flutter close, his face buried in the crook of your neck, his grip on your hips would tighten for a moment. the rocking of his hips would stutter so much, he'll bite his lip to stop a loud moan. a muffled whimper as you give him sweet praises. your hands on his thighs.
"you're doing so well," he'll whimper, as he reaches closer to his climax. "my good boy, loving me so well," you coo in his sensitive ear. "i'm so close- Dan heng.." you moan wrapping your arms around him, hugging his body. "f-fuck, dan heng..!" you tighten around him, he'll press his body against yours, his cock twitching inside of you. his naval pressed so sweetly against your body, his body rubbing against your sensitive genitalia.
"c-cum for me, you're so good- s-so pretty.." he'll smash his lips against yours, rubbing your tip/clit as you near your orgasm.
"I-i love y-you, D-Dan heng," you breath out, your back arches as he hits your sweet spot. you tighten around him so much he can barely move. his eyes widen, watching your body arch, your blunt nails digging into his muscles, your blissful expression and your breathy moan.
his orgasm follows suit after yours, his hips faltering to a stop, a loud high pitched moan escapes his mouth as he buries his head in your chest. he's out of breath, he'll be so wobbly in the knees unsure if he can sit up to pull out of you. you press a gentle kiss on his neck, smiling softly at him catching his breath.
he'll eventually pull out of you, hissing lightly as he moves his hips back. he'll try to resist the urge to just lay down on top of you, he'll groggily put his boxers on and run to grab a warm towel to clean you up, kissing you sweetly and whispering sweet things in you ear as you tiredly help assist him in cleaning you up.
once you're cleaned he'll help you dress in comfortable clothes, his shirt or his pajama pants, or both. laying next to you, watching your expressions relax as you melt in his arms. you reassuring him that he didnt hurt you, and you love him so so much makes his heart swell, he has to hold back tears because he's so happy.
you two fall asleep entangled in each others arms, sweet dreams and gentle heartbeats. the world can wait, the only thing that matters is you and him.
OH AND HE REALLY LIKES WHEN YOU BOTHER HIM LOVINGLY-
im sorry its so long i love him a lot and i kind of went off during the nsfw part- gaahh!! /pos
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weixuldo · 11 months
Text
Allow me// ch 4
Vader x Reader
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a/n: Hello hello!! sorry for the wait! I will say that were entering more of the “x reader” content that I know most of you are looking forward to heh, but who doesnt love a good slow burn?? hah ty for reading :)
Your boss is not happy about your absence yesterday
warnings: Cannon typical violence, force choking, real choking (and not in the fun way lol), Death, implied death, cursing, anxiety
_____________________
“You never arrived at your posted station yesterday officer y/n, so where in the galaxy were you?!” your red faced manager shouted at you as he dabbed at the sweat forming above his bushy brow. 
“I was pulled aside to complete-” 
“I don’t give a fuck about who asked for your assistance, you report to me. And unfortunately your task was not completed yesterday so who do you think got chewed out? Me!” he huffed, not allowing you to finish your sentence. This was causing a bit of a scene in the semi-public hallway.  
If he weren't always like this, a passerby might think he was going to go into cardiac arrest. 
“Sir, I am truly sorry, but when Darth Vader himself asks for your assistance, you can't really deny him,” you tried to explain calmly.
The winded man in front of you let out a gargantuan laugh, “You're tellin’ me… Darth Vader? The most revered Sith lord in the galaxy… asked for your help?! Hah! You gotta be outta your mind little girl”.
“It is true sir, I didn’t get a chance to tell you after I finished because It was late and our wing was closed”.
“Oh yea, I'm sure you did get back pretty late” he laughed.
“Pardon?”
“We all hear what the troopers say about you little miss, surprised you didn’t take your knee pads yesterday, well with all that dick you’ve been sucking”
Wow, this puny man was really proud of himself, wasn't he. It was honestly disgusting.
“I do not think that is appropriate workplace behavior, sir” you tried to remain as cordial as possible; with basically the whole executor aiming for the target on your back, you felt like you had to be on your very best behavior all the time. 
“Yea, well in my department, I make the rules and since you carelessly neglected your duties yesterday, I’m giving you the highly acclaimed task of cleaning the restrooms in the communal sector, and once you're done with that I think I’ll give you a task all the way in the bridge” the man smiled a toothy grin before insisting time was “of the essence”.
The cool bathroom floor made you shiver as your knees hit the tile, you went through so much schooling and apprenticeships to do ….this. 
Wonderful.
To make it even better you had to keep the door open because the cleaning chemicals needed to be aired out or else they would be too strong; that gave your whole department the lovely view of your ass bent over the toilets, scrubbing away the grime.
It was humiliating, but what were you going to do? Defy your manager and possibly lose your job? No.
It was bad enough that everyone here seemed to hate you, why would you lose a decent paying job too?
You sighed as you heard some of your co-workers snickering;
“I bet that tile is uncomfortable”
“I wouldn't worry about it, she’s probably used to being on her knees hah!”
Finally, you reached the last stall and you were getting high off of the fumes of the cleaning materials. You felt gross and you were getting a headache, your boss didn’t even give you the health regulated mask to use as you worked with the chemicals. 
You were gathering up the cleaning bottles and rags when you heard the bustling of your office grow silent. That wasn’t normal, usually there were at least a few yappy voices gossiping about some dumb drama within the department. 
You were inclined to peek around the doorway of the bathroom, but you decided not to do anything that could get you yelled at…again.
Suddenly you heard a hushed voice, “He’s coming”.
At that, your senses heightened. Could it be?
Him. 
You had no reason to be excited for his arrival, after all it's not like you were in a fantasy story where he would whisk you away and make you his-
The familiar sound of the steel door sliding to the side filled the bay and in came those heavy boot steps, patterned breathing, and demanding aura. 
Darth Vader was here. 
“My Lord, how may I be of assistance” your boss bowed at the dark figure before him; his face finally cooled down from the bright red it was when he yelled at you earlier.
“I need to speak with one of your mechanics” the Sith spoke, surveying the room. 
“Yes, of course! We can get you someone right awa-’
“You misunderstand, General. I need one specific mechanic” Vader corrected.
“Oh! My apologies, who may you be in search of?” Your boss recovered his mistake, though you could see the redness creeping up the back of his neck again.
“F/N L/N.”
Did you mess up your details yesterday? 
You felt less worried for your safety then you once did because you had shared a few one-on-one moments with the dark lord.
But
His sudden appearance in your wing did confuse you. 
You peeked around the bathroom door’s opening and saw your boss nervously glancing at the bathroom door.
“Ohh, um, of course My lord…. Though might I add, if some repair was done incorrectly I apologize on behalf of the mechanic’s branch… she tends to do faulty work– and we will deal with her accordingl-”
“Quite the contrary, general.”
The-now- red faced man blinked in surprise at the Sith’s words. 
“M-My Lord?” 
He stole another glance back to where you were. 
“What is in the bathroom that is so interesting that you cannot focus on our conversation?” The cloaked figure demanded as he made his way over to where you were. 
Quickly you scurried away from the entrance and went back to cleaning on the other end of the facility; You'd rather not be caught actively eavesdropping.
The Sith stomped into the bathroom with a determination that gave you butterflies. His helmet turned towards you before he commanded you to rise.
Oh… maybe he was frustrated with you.
Your excitement turned into uncertainty as you followed the man out of the restroom.
“Leave the bucket” he added, talking about the pail with all of the cleaning supplies and rags. 
You stepped out of the chemical filled bathroom and inhaled a deep breath of clean air; as you followed the flowing cape of the man in front of you, everyone’s eyes were on you. 
Vader suddenly stopped, causing you to almost run straight into his broad shoulders. 
“Would you care to explain why a mechanic of the empire was wasting time sanitizing the restroom facilities and not a cleaning droid?”
“Well, My Lord, she had not arrived at her posted work station yesterday, so we thought it best to punish her accordingly” Your boss replied with a nervous toothy grin. 
“Who approved that method, General?”
“Well- Umm” the shorter man stammered.
“Because I see no advantages to this situation. More work is delayed and the cleaning is less efficient”
Damn, he really just implied you didn’t know how to clean a toilet.
“Yes, Of course My Lord, My apologies… it will not happen again” Your boss profusely apologized.
“Very well. I am not pleased when workers take their own liberties when abridging protocol on MY ship” The Sith proclaimed irritably. 
The sleazy man cowered and stepped aside, allowing the cloaked Sith passage.
“Y/N, you are to come with me” Vader spoke, without turning to look at you.
Your whole body felt tingly as you walked behind him (and not in the fun tingly way…. More like dread). You weren’t used to him taking a demanding tone with you. 
You followed him out and his squadron followed closely behind you; the hallway was silent except for the shuffle of the trooper’s boots and the man’s breathing. What had you gotten yourself into?
Only around halfway down the hallway the man in front of you suddenly stopped, prompting you to halt abruptly behind him. You were so close that his cape brushed the tip of your nose before you took a few steps back. 
Vader slowly turned his head to the side as if he were sensing something. Was he feeling your fear?
The profile of his mask seemed more and more ominous with every second. 
You were about to ask him what was the matter, but before you could he walked past you back towards where you both just were. 
Were you supposed to follow him? 
He had already entered the room when you caught up with him. You weren't sure what he was doing, but you sure didn’t expect to see him choking your boss in the middle of the room.
The smaller man had no chance as the dark giant held him firmly in his gloved hand. It was almost sad how much your boss was struggling; he kicked his feet and clawed at Vader’s iron fist. 
“Would you care to repeat what you just said, general?” Vader questioned.
All the man could muster was broken chokes and gasps as his face turned bluer by the second.
“First you think you can change protocol and then you have the audacity to insinuate my business with one of your mechanics” he scoffed before dropping the man from his grasp. 
He fell hard with a thud and gasped for air.
Vader straightened his form and took a look around the room at all of the terrified workers.
“Do not be so ignorant as to think I do not hear your childish gossip on my own ship.”
Suddenly you realized what this was all about…
the rumors. 
Of course a mighty sith lord wouldn’t want to be talked about behind their back, especially if people were insinuating they were getting their rocks off, but there was a certain double standard among the men of the galaxy. It was seen as something to be proud of when a man would bed many women or have “sex slaves” (for lack of better terms). 
You really didn’t understand why he was so heated… was it because it was you?
A sudden wave of nausea washed over you; was he only disgusted because they were pairing him with you? Did he think you were that embarrassing to be associated with? 
Vader turned his attention back to the man on the ground.
“Pathetic” he huffed before turning back to the gallery of shocked workers.
“Let him be an example for you all” 
In a swift motion he turned his clench fist and the man’s neck snapped with a sickening crack.
Your eyes widened and you heard others gasp; you had only ever heard of the Sith’s capability, never seen it.
Vader turned on his heel and promptly left the room, strutting down the hall quicker than he was before; you were frozen for a moment, but then you hurried after the Sith. Hopefully what he needed you for would be something less… deadly. 
___________________________
The room was freezing and the fabric of your uniform was not doing much to help with the cold.
After the ordeal at your workplace, Vader brought you to a room that you had not previously seen. In keeping with the rest of the ship, the room was the rich obsidian that you grew accustomed to. There was a large seat in front of the window that beautifully displayed the vast view of space. 
Currently you were seated on a couch that was in front of the chair; much to your surprise it was a pretty comfy one.
None of the troopers entered the room with you and the Sith, so you worried this was it. You were going to die. 
He asked you to take a seat but then disappeared into another connecting room.
In his absence, you recalled all of your interactions with him, trying to figure out what grounds he had to kill you? Nothing you had done was out of line, it was more the mistakes of those around you… but what were you going to do, protest the Sith’s plans? 
You became sad when you reminisced on your feelings for the man… What a fool you were. You really thought that the cold and stoic man liked you. You thought you were connecting with him- and he even allowed you to drop formalities around him-
What went wrong?
You were too naiive, that’s what was wrong. 
Your nerves began to settle a bit when he hadn’t returned, it had been around two hours by now. Whether he wanted to play a cruel waiting game or not was becoming more and more irrelevant to you. 
You were sure your fate was sealed, so what was a few more hours? Plus you had a very emotionally taxing day and your lack of sleep was catching up with you. 
This couch was feeling more and more appealing and your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier…
Maybe a little nap wouldn’t hurt, you would just make sure to set an alarm on your watch for you to wake up. 
yeah… just a quick-
***
a/n: alrightyyy thank you for reading and if you guys have any questions about the pacing of this story or enigma, dont hesitate to shoot me an ask! Love you all :)
taglist: @vadersassistant @sxoulohvn @khaleesihavilliard @kashasenpai @darling-murdock @beautifulbearpolice @salvatoresister1 @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @blueninjablade3 @jujuba096 @missmannequin @jellydodger @mirastark @wyvernthekriger @duckyhowls @monada43 @lauriidoesstuff @vienettacream @ray-rook @itswhatever06
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cirusthecitrus · 1 year
Text
Horde Prime's body language and mannerisms part 1/3
T posing, head shaking and manspreading
I was always facinated with the way Prime moves and handles himself, but ever since I got officially obsessed with this character I began to notice more and more interesting quirks and signature Prime gestures - there are just so many. And now I'm going to (over)analyse them all!
1. Hands behind the back
Lets start with the classic "well mannered/disciplined character" pose
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It really suits his whole character and even makes Prime look like he's always plotting something (which he does). And it shows that HP clearly watches his posture and I'm glad he does like damn my man has such a good posture
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Also, I now have a theory that Prime keeps his arms behind his back so no one can see him fidgeting with his hands and fingers. Or he hides them in a way to restrain himself from touching everything he sees (I just cant help but to headcanon Horde Prime as a kinesthetic person who learns by touch and feeling)
2. Crossed legs
It's giving slut, its giving bad bitch, its giving if only I cared hon &lt;3 and I love it
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The way he sits shows just how comfortable he feels on his throne and in his role as an emperor - he's right where he thinks he belongs. In his case crossed legs also indicate that Prime feels confident and in control. Even when Adora sees him during this whole vessel maintenance process, even when Catra went against him, even when he was visiting the Fright Zone and sitting on Hordak's throne, even when a rebellion sparks on other occupied planets
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And yeah, sometimes the emphasis on his legs is so obvious that it looks very fanservice-y, but not that I mind that >:}
Eventually u get so used to him sitting like this that when Prime doesnt cross his legs it feels so wrong and scandalous lol
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But this only happened like 3 times. And I think he only changes his pose when he needs to concentrate (like when he searches through someone's memories) or when he feels like he's losing control (like when he felt enraged after She-Ra and co escaped the Velvet Glove)
Though I cant explain why he manspreads in the last screenshot, its from Save the Cat and I have no idea why'd he do that, it feels so wrong pls make him stop I'm scared
3. The iconic Prime pose
He's actual signature pose that really fits his character. It's dramatic, it has some similarities with irl holy/religious imagery, it makes Prime look like he's taking even more space, and it kinda reminds me of the way peacocks show off their tails :)
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Gotta mention that when he doesnt do "the pose" Prime is still always doing something with his arms and posing almost thetrically, which is again, right on brand for him
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3. The 👉👈
At first I didnt want to include this one cause I thought it was just an insignificant silly gesture he only does once, but then I actually caught Prime doing it again!
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Then I've noticed that Prime often does this thing when he folds his hands in various ways, kinda forming a shape of a rhomb/diamond? The same as the one on the Horde emblem?
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My main point though is that HP again seems to never know where to put his hands, which I find cute :з
4. The thinking pose
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It's just funny how Prime always props his head on his left hand just so he won't accidentally poke his extra eyes out with his claws))
5. Smoothing the hair
I included this specifically because Prime only does this one time in the entire season. It's an uncharacteristic gesture for him. Especially since there's no hair to smooth, its all cabels with only little seen of his actual hair
Prime only did this after Scorpia disobeyed his order, letting Adora and Perfuma escape. For a moment he felt like he lost control over the situation AND one of his puppets, plus it was yet another time when She-Ra managed to survive and "win"
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I will speculate that Prime used to do this gesture all the time somewhere in the past, when he didnt have his cable hair yet AND when he had less control over his "subjects"
So when on Etheria Prime's plans began to fail for the first time in forever and someone who supposed to be under his full control actually dared to disobey him he felt so frustrated and stressed that he might've mentally come back to those times when he wasnt yet "all powerful". When he often felt the need to calm himself down by fixing his hair and running his hand over it
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What's interesting, Prime does something similar in this scene, only here he gives pets to one of his clones. I'm going to throw in another suggestion and say that it actually might've been someone else who used to help HP calm down in similar manner
6. Head shake
I could not stop thinking about this one simply because it annoyed me too much lol. I really don't get what is it with Prime always shaking his head and why it was only a thing in his debut episode. Anyway, he does this to emphasize the words "No" and "Never". And only when he is either really amused or angry. He also does this almost in a mocking condescending manner, probably because he saw Glimmer and Catra as some dumb children who won't get the message otherwise
Still don't get why he only does this in one episode and then this quirk of his is (mostly) completely forgotten
It was easier to make a video rather than a set of gifs, so enjoy me counting all the times when Prime shook his goddamn head
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impishjesters · 6 months
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Pomni x Reader who doesn't wanna leave
warning(s): implied panic/anxiety attacks, implied Reader's life prior to the Circus might've not been so great A/N: I'm not really good at words of comfort, so hopefully this isn't too bad... request: I have a request for actually pomni instead of jax- a reader x pomni sfw thing where the reader doesnt actually wanna leave the place but understands why pomni wants to leave so they just try to help her with anything and is very comforting to her. (basically a extremely sweet and calm reader with a nervous wreck pomni)
It’s easy to see why one would freak out about being permanently trapped in a digital hellscape in a body that doesn’t require sleep or food.
You feel for Pomni, you really do, but unlike her, you enjoy living here. There’s little to worry about compared to the struggles of living in the real world, the life you had before this was nothing but stress and exhaustion.
Though it’s easy to see why that might be the issue for some people, sure you lose out on all the things the real world can give you, but for every pro, there’s a con. Something you can accept, but not Pomni.
She’s such a sweet girl when she’s not on the verge of a panic attack, even if you don’t want to leave you continue to reassure her that there has to be an exit. “Can’t have an entrance without an exit.”
The best you can do is reassure her verbally and try to bring some sense of normalcy to the place. Just last week the two of you went for a walk outside the tent and did some nature gazing, it’s a little trippy how realistic the ambiance was. Though it seemed to do just the trick to help Pomni, the fake birds flew around and chirped, accompanied by the screams of obnoxious bugs.
Then there was just a few days ago when the two of you sat and listened to music while having a fake little tea date. The tea set was real—or as real as anything in this place could be—similar to a child’s play set it was just decoration as the two of you chatted over empty cups of tea.
It always seemed like talking and acting like everything was normal was a big help to her, you know if you get past the fact that the person across from you doesn’t look remotely normal.
Today, however, Pomni had been a wreck all day—the nature walk and tea time offers weren’t enough to distract her. Instead, you settled down nearby careful not to touch her, and simply took it one step at a time. Pomni disliked physical touch so you made do with talking her through it, through what was currently on her mind all while making sure to steer the mindset from sketchy abstraction territory.
“How are you so okay with this?” She looked over her knees in your general direction, not really looking at you or anything in particular.
“I mean to say I’m okay is an understatement. But it’s an improvement in some departments compared to my life before… I understand not everyone can see it that way though. But for me, I’m pretty okay with the whole situation.”
Nobody had really opened up about their lives prior, whether they could remember or not it just never came up. It felt almost taboo for some reason.
“Like I told you before, every entrance has an exit. And if I find one, you’ll be the first person I tell.”
It’s not an entire lie, you would tell her if you actually found one, but not every entrance had an exit. In some cases, the only “exit” so to speak would be death, but saying that would only make the situation worse.
“H-how do you know that though? Nobody’s seen one except for…well Kaufmo and me..” Pomni bit her lip, squeezing her legs tighter. “And i-it wasn’t even a real exist… Caine said—”
“Sweetie Caine’s about as smart as Jax is nice.” That gets a hesitant little giggle out of her, it’s rude but true. “There’s an exit I know it, that said there’s a chance Caine doesn’t know where it is or how to access it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”
“I…I guess you are right…”
Pomni relaxes the death grip on her legs, letting them dangle off the couch. She’s still stuck in her head but it’s progress, and you are patient to work with her.
“Wanna go down to the kitchen and make something?”
Her head snaps in your direction so fast you swear she’d get whiplash if she could. “What?”
“You heard me.” You give her a weak shrug and lean on the armrest of your chair. “We can’t eat but that doesn’t mean we can’t cook—it’s not the same but we can still do it, sorta.”
Her expression is pure confusion, did she not know you could still cook or that there was a kitchen? Have those idiots shown her nothing??
“Mhm, maybe we could bake something for everyone. Again, can’t eat it but it’s the thought that counts yeah? I’m sure the others would enjoy that, we can all sit down with a slice and maybe have a nice chat.”
That sounded nice, domestic, and more importantly, normal. She can’t remember the last time she cooked or baked something, and while it would suck to not be able to eat it, enjoying the company of the others would be nice. Well, mostly nice.
“Yeah, I think I’d like that.”
The two of you stood and you gave her a warm smile before gesturing her to follow. Before you made it to the door she called your name, giving a weak smile as she approached. “Thank you.”
“Any time Pompom.”
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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months
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can i req jax x reader angst? o-(-( been brainrotting on this idea for so long now; jax goes a little overboard with his joke or prank and reader gets upset by it.. but he doesnt really approach reader to say sorry for a while because he doesnt really know how to? so it worsens the situation? thank uuu!!!!
Severed ties (jax x reader)
There will be NO!!!! Comfort here!!! I want pain!!
Written this as platonic !!
Not proof read and written on mobile!! Yahoo!!
Honestly I love writing angstier stuff, like
Idk I like exploring the topic and the feelings
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Jac in general does not seem like the type of person to apologize. It hurts his pride and ego, and really in his eyes everything he does is "all in good fun", or as a means to entertain... himself, mostly
What, is he supposed to apologize because his little joke made someone upset? That's his thought process, I think. Like unless there are huge consequences or he is actively trying to better himself I really don't think he would give a sincere apology, you know?
Like imma be so real here, I know I usually portray jax as a prankster but so far he's worse than that. He has pushed gangle at least twice (in the pilot, and in her tailer), he stepped on her mask and knowing him I wouldnt be surprised if it was on purpose. He just. Ripped zoobles arm off (like yeah sure it doesnt look like it hurts and it can be reattached, but its the idea that he just disrespects them like that), throwing a bowling ball at kinger, ect ect ect
Like I think I down play how mean jax can be
I think a lot of this is caused by the digital world; given that hes probably gotten way too comfortable with the fact you cant get severely injured in the digital world or hahe any long lasting physical damage, you know?
Anyways onto the actual request
I think it's less likely to happen if this is a romantic relationship because I think at that point in time you guys respect each other enough to not be goofy and communicate stuff. As well as this, this prompts jax to try to tone it down.. can also see this happening if you guys are close friends
So really this can only happen if you guys are only like. Normal level friends, because otherwise jax at least learns remorse and tries to be less. Uehdjcf.. you know?
Like I love jax as a character and I enjoy writing him but I'm realizing just how assholish he is based on the pilot
Honestly to be friends with jax you're going to have to be able to have some kind of tolerance to his more tame everyday stuff... imma be nice and assuming the stuff he does above isnt in his usual league of asshole-ness... or maybe it is? I dunno
But some prank he pulls goes too far, and he laughs at you. Probably takes to down play it if you're actually upset, trying to dismiss it as a good ol fashion joke
If he gives an apology it's a half assed one
This leads to you not talking to him as much anymore, if at all
In fact, you may even go as far as to avoiding him during IHAs
And you know what
At first he thinks you're just being sour over his little practical joke
But overtime as you continue to bold your ground he starts to... actually feel bad
And if he does ever sincerely apologize, its likely two late
That's also assuming you dont abstract before then
God can you imagine that, I mean what's worse? Never being able to apologize because the person is effectively dead, or apologizing and not being forgiven?
I think this would push jax to try to tone down his antics
Like he wont totally stop, but it will definitely go back to the light hearted fun I like to headcannon it being when he first joined the circus.. before it got all.. meaner..
Boredom does terrible things to someone and given that the consequences of losing your mind in this place are huge.. I can't help but understand jax a little, assuming my headcannon is correct
Though again he might just be an asshole
While your friendship may be dead and buried now, at least jax learned a lesson that actions do in fact have consequences
And hopefully it sticks
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cosmic-d1ce · 6 months
Text
"how can you like sugarduo theyre so toxic" thats why i like them!!!! FML 🔛🔝 fuck everyone that doesnt like them!!!!
FML
Roier gets access to the Room
"He's family now, right? It's a family secret."
Cellbit's attempts to convince Forever have, so far, failed. Roier already knows. Roier has known for some time. He knows about Phil and he knows about what Forever really is.
"I'm just worried that he won't react as well as you guys did..."
Their reaction was insane, thinking back on it. They found out that Forever and Quackity had kidnapped Philza and they were all fine with it. They didn't even bat an eye. Mike had shrugged and said "amor é amor" with a laugh. They all laughed together. They knew what Forever was doing to their friend and that was fine.
It didn't matter. They watched Phil get destroyed and didn't care.
Now, it makes Cellbit feel a bit sick. He knows what love is now, thanks to Roier. It is not what Phil and Forever have.
What they have is sickening. Something depraved and cruel. Thinking about it too long makes Cellbit want to die. He knows he could have stopped it. He could have helped Phil but he didn't.
"I'll make sure it's okay. I can't keep something like this from my husband, Forever." Cellbit knows that will do something.
"Fine. If he freaks out though, it's on you." Forever huffs.
Roier is calmer than Cellbit had ever seen him. Cellbit walks into the dark room hesitantly. Forever stands close behind them. Cellbit can tell that he's on edge. He's worried.
"Morning, Phil." Cellbit says as the light flickers on. "Roier wanted to see you."
Phil casts a cautious glance between Roier and Forever, looking for confirmation.
In response, Forever speaks. "He's family now. He can see you if he likes." He shrugs despite his obvious nervousness.
Roier's communicator was left in the hall, in the drawer where Phil's stayed. His weapons, too. Forever is very aware that people would not be happy if they saw this. He knows that Roier probably isn't too fond of it. He knows he needs to be careful.
Cellbit can see the moment his husband spots the chain on Phil's ankle. It keeps him attatched to the bed. It's a punishment. Cellbit isn't sure what for, but he doesn't want to ask.
"I thought you hated me." Phil's voice is quiet. It always is. It's quiet and shaky and it breaks Cellbit's heart.
"Why would I- Oh! No, no! Fit and Wilbur are the only ones that actually hate you!" Roier laughs. "And some of the eggs but I don't!"
Cellbit's eye twitches. His husband is not the best at saying appropriate things. It's cute sometimes but here it is not.
Phil's voice cracks slightly, "Oh." he's on the verge of tears.
Forever notices not long after Cellbit does. He moves past Roier and Cellbit, walking over to Phil to kneel in front of him. He puts his hands on Phil's knees to comfort him.
"Don't cry, sweetheart! You know they hate you for a good reason, you shouldn't get so upset."
Cellbit watches Roier lose his mask. His expression changes to one of horror and confusion as he listens to Forever 'comfort' Phil.
"I kn-" A loud smack cuts Phil off.
"Also, I told you not to speak. Meu deus, por que você não ouve?"
Roier's hand trembles as he watches. Cellbit grabs a hold of him and pulls him a little closer. Roier calms himself quickly.
Forever turns to them with a bright smile. "Sorry about that, he's been awful recently! Had a little episode a few days ago, didn't you?" He looks back at Phil.
By 'episode' Forever means that Phil was starting to refuse his orders. He did it sometimes, despite everything.
Phil nods.
"There you go, well done, honey." Forever smiles, tail wagging in delight. He pats Phil on the head, ignoring the way Phil flinches away from his hand.
Cellbit hesitates before he speaks, "What did he do?"
"Screamed at me. I told him to go to bed and he screamed and cried and tried to hurt me, so, now he's here."
Cellbit knows there's more than that. He can see Phil's expression shift as Forever explains. He'll ask Phil later.
"You- you chain him up every time he does something bad?" Roier asks, a slight tremble to his voice.
"Not every time. Depends what he did. A while ago, he screamed at me and I just taped his mouth shut for a while."
Cellbit remembers that. Forever had triggered Phil on purpose, did something he knew would scare Phil into fight or flight. He had admitted a little while after to Pac that he just liked it when Phil was afraid. He said it was cute. Like a little bird.
"Punishment needs to fit the crime! He's chained up because he wouldn't come here when I told him too." Forever smiles.
"Ah... I see." Roier forces a smile in return, Forever doesn't seem to notice how strained it is.
"It's not so bad, he's okay with it! Aren't you, Phil?"
Phil nods quickly with a shaky smile. His eyes are still watering, tears threatening to spill over as he blinks.
Forever smiles back as his tail thwacks against the floor. He stands, using one hand to lift Phil's chin to make him keep eye contact. He gives him a kiss, although it's clear he doesn't want it. Phil doesn't fight but he's certainly not happy about what's being done. Forever pulls away with a smile and strokes Phil's hair again.
"Come on, we should let Phil rest, he's tired." Forever says as he starts to walk back to Cellbit and Roier.
Cellbit nods without question, although Roier is hesitant. Forever notices and stops in his tracks.
"What?" He asks, smile fading from his features as he stares at Roier.
"Nothing! Nothing! We should be going anyway! We have.... things... to do..." Roier trails off as he smiles nervously at Forever.
"Come on, Phil's tired. Let's go." Cellbit makes his tone stern as he pulls Roier slightly back towards the door.
"Yes, okay, great idea, as always, gatinho!"
Forever hums as Cellbit unlocks the door for Roier to step out. He's not happy about any of this.
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spacedlexi · 2 months
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Hi Lexi
What do you think of partially blinded Vi? You never seem to draw her that way, and I kind of just wanted to know what do you think of it as a certified Vi lover.
I personally think that while something like this can be "cool" (as in, being beneficial to the character design), it's handled quite poor for Vi and it just looks a bit... ungrateful. Simply doesn't look good, doesn't fit her personality or character (am I missing something?) and it doesn't seem to fit or suit her...unlike Kenny's iconic eyepatch. To me, it has become a pivotal thing in his design to a degree in which Kenny with both eyes seems a bit odd looking. I see it as a symbol which stands for Ken being a martyr and all he's lost and sacrificed. He is all about family and helping those he loved, his loved ones truly were the "apple of his eye". It all makes sense, doesn't it?
But for Vi, it's excatly the opposite. I'm just so sorry to see her like this. 😭😭😭 I don't think it makes sense in any way. Louis losing his tongue because he's so talkative and "won't shut up" does kind of make sense, but I cant help but see Violet losing sight as kind of lazy writing. "We need something bad happening to her!!! suffer the children!!!'- the writers exclaimed.
i think vi losing her eyesight is incredibly impactful on her character and i honestly dont understand why some people say its lazy writing. especially since it was foreshadowed multiple times. vi losing her eyesight i think is even more impactful on her character than louis losing his tongue because at least louis still has his music to express himself and uplift spirits through (and its not like he cant communicate At All. his note still makes clem laugh). the reason i dont draw blind vi very often is because of how sad it is to me. for multiple reasons
violets whole thing is wanting to be able to protect the people she cares about, and feels immense grief and guilt about the times she feels shes failed them (thinks if she had been there with the twins that day that she couldve done something to save them. feels she failed everyone taken by the raiders. is scared of failing clem too "if something happened to you because of me? i cant lose you too. i wont". its why she cant leave minnie after shooting her. and a kidnapped vi attacks clem because she doesnt want anyone else to get hurt. hell it even ties back to her grandma and feeling guilty about not doing anything for her)
so for her to lose her eyesight? she took pride in her ability to fight and now she cant do that anymore. cant protect the people she loves. and as someone who started the season as an isolated loner, it forces her to rely on those around her for help, stripping her of her independence (and her independence is what allowed her to stand up against the group for clem when it came to the marlon situation in ep2). a blinded vi is forced into accepting community, whereas a saved violet accepts it on her own. her and clem turn ericsons into the home violet could never see it as
the other reason blind vi makes me so sad is that it is Directly a result of clems actions. kidnapped vi had nothing and wanted nothing to do with the bomb, and yet shes the ONLY ONE who gets hurt by it. clem choosing to let vi be taken means clem both breaks her heart, and then burns out her eyes. louis and his tongue is between him and lilly and was a choice THEY each made outside of clems direct influence (even if it was clem who inspired him to speak up, it is ultimately his choice to keep talking, and lilly hurts him for it. its sad he gets punished for a character moment, but clem had no direct hand in him losing his tongue. its why hes not angry to see her in the cell. he doesnt blame clem for what happened), but the way vi is feeling in that cell is DIRECTLY due to clems actions. vi feels like clem abandoned her after she had put herself on the line for her multiple times. she always had clems back but clem didnt have hers. clem is the one who planted the bomb and vi gets caught in the blast. clem hurts her emotionally And physically. and vi apologizes for getting upset (she tries to apologize on the beach too before theyre forced out in the cart, so she felt wrong for those actions immediately even tho they were understandable. lilly and minnie used her moment of weakness to get in her head. she just wanted everyone to be safe)
kidnapped blinded vi is just so incredibly sad to me, especially when you compare her to a fully realized violet. a violet who has come into herself, has confidence, has opened up, has stopped pushing people away out of fear and lets herself love again. shes a leader. a fighter. a protector. and those are all things a blinded violet loses
neither vi losing her eyes or louis losing his tongue is supposed to add anything to their characters. its about what theyve lost. both of them have important parts of their identity stripped away from them after being taken by the delta. its supposed to be sad. heartbreaking. regrettable. unfortunate. they have not gained anything by their time at the delta, only lost important parts of themselves to it
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moontide-nymph · 5 months
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Angst drabble of q!philza finally snapping in purgatory, based on tubbos stream today.
___________________________________
Tubbo was frustrated, no one was listening or taking him seriously. The points he put together today are critical. "Phil you HAVE to listen to me man! Blue is the cursed team and if we lose all the eggs die!"
Like usual on this island, Phil shrugged him away like he was a bother. His body language was sluggish and ragged, tone building with irritation. "I think you're wrong Toby. It's always been us, look at what our team has been through!"
"What is with this victim complex you all got? Aside from a shit first day-"
"VICTIM Complex??! Tubbo it's our kids on the line here! You don't know the weight of everything going on so I'd appreciate if-"
A yelling match starts, both at their limit from this stupid island and the distance it has created between them all. "I still care about them Phil! They are my God kids, I like them all and want them to live too. Does that not matter or are you purposely being obtuse? I'm trying to HELP you and you act like you don't even care-"
Something in Phil snaps. All the feelings he's repressed to be a cool-headed leader for his team coming to the surface in a furious wave with the power to drown the target of his ire.
"I CARE A HELL LOT MORE THAN YOU. They are MY kids, OUR kids. You won't ever understand. You don't have a kid, you don't have a family, you don't have a partner, you don't even have a home! You live in a factory alone, making a huge mess on the island and pissing everyone off. You know what? Everything was fine until you showed up. You spun that wheel when you weren't meant to get in there and burnt the kids stuff before we weren't taken here. If anything YOU are the real curse. Leave this to the parents alright? Go before I take a kill on you."
Tubbo felt himself draw inward while Phil yelled at him. He felt a disconnect happen, his mind going fuzzy and cold. He felt tears well in the corner of his eyes but doesnt let them fall. He isnt safe here, not with him, not anymore.
"........ fine. If that's how you feel, fine. I'll go back to base, tell Bad he is the blue leader now, and none of you will see me again. I'll leave it all to you guys. I tried. I did my best. I hope you save them Phil."
Phil is silent while Tubbo turns and walks off. With his back turned and a good distance away, tubbo allows the tears to fall. He can't do this anymore. He will leave a book for bad that explains what he found, that he is now the leader, and that he is going off on his own and none of them should come looking for him. He is going on his own exile, his team of one. It's the best for everyone if he just... stays away.
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lalaluvvs · 1 month
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The beach
cw: angst (sorry i can't help myself !!)
The waves crashed beautifully in front of him. Satoru sat by the rocks along the edge of the beach, taking in the salty air nad exhaling the anxiety he felt all over. Suguru asked him to meet up. He still had trouble catching his breath minutes after running from his home. It was such a beautiful night. He hoped the waves wouldnt judge him the way he was judging himself right now.
So much time passes that it worries him. What if he doesn't show up? What if this is just some sick prank to yank his heart out all over again? What if-
The sand crunches beside him, and his scent is the first thing Satoru can take in. He looks up at the man before him, beautiful as ever. So why did it pain him to look him in the eye? Suguru smiles beautifully, as he always does, because he can't contain his own beauty. Even that smile had a glimpse of pain behind it.
"You came."
"I had no choice." Satoru grumbles, crossing his arms over his knees and resting his head there, like a child on timeout.
"You always have a choice with me." He looks directly at Gojo, hoping to get his attention once more, to look him in the eye and catch that glimmer of admiration. It doesnt come, but he would always try for it.
"No." Gojo paints figures in the sand with his finger. "No, not with you. You know I would do anything for you."
Suguru grunts, looking down at his hands as he goes over the events of the previous week.
Outside, in the street, he embarassed Satoru. The only person he had ever loved with conviction. He knew, to a point, that his ideas were drastic. But he couldn't change the way he felt. Not even for Satoru. Still, he never meant to hurt him.
He chuckles lightly, making Satoru glare at him from the corner of his eye. "Shouldn't we have gone someplace more private?"
Satoru just stares at him, suddenly wishing he had the power to read his mind.
"Ha. So we can kiss and make up?" Satoru pokes.
"Well, no. I'm a wanted man now, aren't I? It wouldn't do good for you to be seen with the likes of me."
Satoru is shocked. He's so... different. Only a week has passed and yet he seems like he's aged decades. The lines under his eyes do little to change that.
"You aren't sleeping."
Suguru laughs, drawing mindless figures in the sand right beside Gojo's, which makes the other man stop to watch.
"I'm a busy man now."
"Oh. Are you?"
Suguru turns on his side to face him. "Don't be bitter. If you came with me we could be the strongest together. Like always."
"There's nothing strong in killing innocent people. You should know that!"
Suguru puts a finger to Satoru's lips, and somehow that seems to work for him. The sea screams back at them, waves thundering loudly in the uncomfortable silence.
"I'm sorry. Let's not... talk about this." He slowly moves his finger back. "This isn't why I called you here."
Satoru considers him for a moment, then locks eyes with him. The fire he holds in them is undeniable now.
"Why else would you call me here?"
"I just..." Suguru looks away, suddenly embarassed. "Needed to see you."
His blatant honesty is nothing new, but the confession stirs something within Satoru's mostly dead heart.
"See me?"
Suguru nods, never losing his eyes. He wants to stay like this forever, admiring the soft glow of his features in the moonlight.
"Why would you want to see me?" Nothing made sense to Satoru now. He was sure Suguru hated him. Now he had to come to the realization that Suguru missed him, and had wanted to see him. How long did he go thinking about him before he called?
Suguru shifts in the sand, staring out at the expanse of open sea and wave-flattened sand. It had a beautiful blue hue to it that reminded him too much of what he lost. Well, what he was losing.
"I missed your voice. And the way you made me laugh when nothing was funny at all." Suguru sighs, looking down to hide the tears forming around his eyes. "This success I have... its nothing without you there with me."
Satoru reaches out hesitantly, eventually deciding to go for it. He rests a comforting hand on his shoulder. The touch is familiar, but it feels so foreign to them now. It doesn't carry the same meaning as it did before.
"I love you, Satoru."
"I know."
Satoru tries to get in his face to meet his avoidant eyes, but he can't seem to find them. Suddenly, he catches his face in his pale hands and forces their eyes to meet. Even sad, Suguru's brown eyes sparkled majestically.
"If I say it back, it would only hurt more."
Suguru nods. Theyre both old enough to know what this means. It hurt the most, truly, to belong to two different mindsets when just wishing to become one. They had different goals now. Totally different morals.
"I... I just wish I could change."
Satoru, still holding his face, wipes a falling tear from his cheek with is thumb. He smiles dumbly at Suguru. "I wish I would've been there for you. So you didn't have to start thinking this way."
Suguru cups his cheek in his right hand, tilting his head to the side. "Oh, Satoru. You were always so full of hope." He clenches his eyes shut, hoping to will away the pain building up inside of him. "I would've left no matter what." It just hurt to leave you.
Suguru was the only one who could truly silence him. That was true even now, as they broke eachothers' hearts for the nth time.
Satoru lets his hands fall, and Suguru pulls his own hand away. He can't help but notice the distant look in Satorus eyes, and the anger he feels with himself washes over his body. He shouldn't have come, for Satoru's sake. But, selfishly, he was glad to see him one last time.
They sit beside each other, close but not nearly close enough. They watch the slight glimpse of sunlight stretch across the horizon, poking through and casting an orange glow on their surroundings. It was beatiful. He remembered sleepless nights like these, staying up with Satoru to watch the sunset in silence. He always wished he could go back to simpler times.
As the sun begins to rize over the sea, Satoru rests his head upon his shoulder and closes the distance between them. Awkwardly, Suguru wraps his arm around him. To pull him closer, or to keep him from running, he wasn't yet sure.
They stay like this, comfrotable and hidden from the world for a moment. Here, in this moment, neither of them cared if they were caught. They could simply exist for a while, without explanation.
He feels the hum of Satoru's words against his neck before he registers them in his brain. "The next time I see you, I'll have to kill you."
Strangely, there's no malice in his words. He doesn't think Satoru could ever have that for him.
He chuckles, brushing his fingers carefully through his white hair. "I know."
They know their time is up when the sun reaches up to the sky and the loud chirping of seagulls fills the salty air.
Not knowing what else to do, Satoru shifts to meet his eyes, and he kisses him. Suguru kisses back. A longing kiss full of pain and deep devotion. They give it their all, knowing things would never be the same again.
Satoru stands up way before it should be over. Suguru stares at his feet, replaying the events in his head over and over so he'd hopefully commit the scene to memory.
"Don't call me again." His footsteps leave prints in the sand as he wanders off, the only evidence left of him. That and this aching pain in his heart.
Suguru never calls him back. He never goes to the beach. He never falls in love again.
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s4turnzbarzzz · 8 months
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hey, i'm back!! sorry if this is annoying, but i REALLY loved your headcanons for donnie from my last request and I was wondering if you could write even more! i think i’ve always liked donnie growing up, i think i really just need someone who can balance out my energy lmao. you don’t have to if you don't want to, i just really loved your headcanons 🫶
updated request if you want to write more:
she loves fighting, loves working out, loud asf, short-tempered, blunt, sarcastic, cursed with resting bitch face, all that jazz. but, once you get to know her, she’s actually really funny and sweet. NEVER afraid to speak her mind, so she may come across as rude or sassy at times, but she never really means to be. DEFINITELY has ADHD and is on the autism spectrum. ❤️
im so happy you enjoyed my last tmnt mm post!!!! donnie is my absolute fave so im really excited i got to do another rq about him (i love donnie sm tbh,, its unhealthy atp)
Donnie (mutant mayhem) x hyper fem! reader
tw: none
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youre both autistic so it evens everything out
hes done alot of research on how he can help you release all your energy while also maintaining his personal boundaries
when youre especially loud he communicates that and if its something you cant control hell put on his headphones and text you so you know hes not ignoring you but also keeping himself from getting overstimulated
he has a little bit of a resting bitch face too so he gets that even if you look upset youre not most of the time
hes usually pretty chill and is blessed with patience when it comes to you so its harder for him to make you lose your temper, even if its short
he will train with you (he just wants you to be able to get the fight out of your system for the day usually, especially if it helps you keep your temper in check)
he also works out with you alot so youre both pretty compatible when you train as well
he loves that youre blunt because it makes it easier for him to understand what you mean when youre talking to him
he struggles a bit with sarcasm at times but hes pretty good about it because he has three brothers
even though you seem mean, he knows that youre actually super soft and sweet inside and loves to death because of it
also a little extra because youre so sweet when sending in requests
he uses tone tags while texting and sometimes says them out loud because he uses them so much
you: "hey donnie i miss you"
him: "nuh uh joking"
you: "did you just use a tone tag while talking to me in person"
him:
he loves to listen to midwest emo music unironically, specifically the band the front bottoms
i headcanon that he smells like a mix of vanilla and sage with a hint of lavender
hes not a huge fan of physical contact but he doesnt mind it when its coming from you
it takes alot to get him overstimulated because he grew up with three brothers so hes more accustomed to chaotic environments
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