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#and I'm honestly having more fun writing the post-understanding conversations
astralnymphh · 7 months
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veiled affections ⚝ | ellie williams
☆࿐-ˊˎ farm!ellie x fem!reader
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⋆༺𓆩⚔𓆪༻⋆
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✧˖ ° 🕯 bright blessings!
AN: quick little smut to hold me off before i work on a bigger project/series fic!! more casual and less proofread like my last one but still pretty good ifya ask me <3
tags/cw: NSFW!! SMUT!! 18+ MDNI, usual playful bickering, one second of cuddiling, poetic ahh writing, very mild foreplay, hella dirty talk, lotsa swearing, oral (receiving) spitting, clit stim (receiving), petnames (babe, baby, good girl)
WC: 2k+
designated song: stargirl interlude - the weekend & lana del rey
synopsis; swept under your fossil gray wool blanket, a body deprived of slumber and living the effects of back-bending chores all around the farmhouse has you fatigued and yearning to supply the last ounce of energy with a bit of literature. eventually, ellie will set that book on rain check, and your fatigue, ..and her boredom. honestly, she'll definitely be the one to steal your energy instead of the book. 
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radiance incarnate is what lies behind the glass pane just ahead of your bed-post. lunar light outstanding the dark night, never lacking a few stars that flecked the sky above the nocturnal forest, at least what you could perceive through a regular sized window. fusing with the comfortability of your mattress and cloaked in a warm wool blanket makes for a nice end-of-the-day reward while you immerse yourself in the realm of 'the odyssey'. ellie's not in bed. not in the room. she's presumably downstairs finishing up something, so not a clue of her coming is on your mind.
you wriggle around the soft bed altering your position to have one leg bent and the other draped over, the book upheld by the bulk of your thigh making it easier to flip through. page by page, word by word, space and time diminishes around you and is replaced by this entrancing world of mycenaean greece portraying the aegean sea. the room was dimly lit and still, minus the muted sounds of an owl and crickets chirping beyond the wooden walls. serenity lasts for a good half hour before an upsurge of hard rubber footsteps wake the floor by the bedroom door to the right of you.
"hey babe- ooh, what'cha reading?" ellie's voice grapples your focus to her profile, attired in her white shirt, grubby denim and converse that look like they've been dragged to hell.
"the odyssey." you respond as she begins to lurk closer, arms crossed.
she swipes her tongue across her lips, saying, "y'know.. savage starlight might be more.. fun to read?" in an obviously sarcastic note, creasing her brows together accompanying a brass smirk.
"to you, maybe. I actually enjoy this a lot." you cave the book over your chest, sitting like a roof, "you just don't have a mature taste."
"whadda'ya mean? comics are for everyone, and actually easy to understand." she clambers atop of your hips, descending her face upon you, "unlike the odyssey."
"pshh, the odyssey is a classic." you highlight.
"you're just mad that im right." 
you pucker a pout, slowly lifting the book between your noses till ellie knocks it down plumb on your collarbone.
"ah-uh," she intently strikes spires into your eyes with her persuasive peer, narrowing those lids in an undeniably tantalizing way, "can't ignore this now."
"you're right." you spat out and divided the space with your book again.
"c'mon.." she prys the book from your limp grasp, leaving it astray to the bed adjacent to you, "I'm here now, aren't I?" a humbly intimate whisper croaks from her toothy grin.
you banish your sight to the headboard above, pondering the words that would wisp from your lips, "I have a few pages left, babe, then we'll do whatever.."
"mmk, 'gonna lay on you though." she giggles and shuffles along the length of you, interlacing your limbs together and smushing her cheek on your stomach. her arms swathe your hips and tuck underneath your butt.
the book diverged from your fingertips finds its way back, cuddled between your thumbs and eclipses ellie's head from your vision. your pupils root back to the muster of sentences lining the page, with a certain breath gusting onto your mildly exposed midriff.
a scant minute survives before a husk is heard, "mmph- so warm.." the tip of her nose drags on your skin as she faces downward, marking an indulgent smooch to your abdomen. 
that brought a melliferous smile to draw out, instilled with admiration from her speckled kisses. it anchors your attention unwillingly when these kisses continue but you'd rather void it and tread on with reading as ellie treads on with a rampancy of taunting kisses. normally, this'd be blasé, but tonight, it's turning your tides.
ellie muffles, "wann' kiss every inch.." her nibbles subside in target of your navel, nuzzling on the pouch of your belly and biting your shorts' band, "fuck.."
"els."
"mhm?"
"what're up to?" the book slants down.
"you."
"elsies.." 
"just showin' my love.." her tone airs up and turns raspy. 
"I think it's more than that." you dig at her transparent peak in sensuality and prod her foot with yours.
ellie can't necessarily disprove this, she was blatantly horny but wanted to keep that 'under the covers' till you shared the feeling outwardly. a shameless smirk paints her mouth regardless, "y'know what I really wanna do?"
"what?"
a gnaw at her lower lip fracts the answer briefly, uttering, "I wanna eat your fucking pussy." and blunt she was, verdant eyes fastened to yours. she's so eager for you, clawing at your loins.
a shudder bolts the extent of your nerves and you clench around nothing but a throb at the contents of her question, visibly ruffled up by it, "babe.." 
"can I?"
nary a gloom of doubt inhabits your mind, the way she's laying on your body, patient to taste you revs you up like a torrent of arousal. oh my fucking goddess. it's making you go wild.
"yes.." 
"shit- m'kay, lemme just.." ellie wrinkles up the sheet in her fist, tossing it overhead till her head was obscured by it. the amber hue of her hair is subtle under the thin pearly sheet as she slithers down between the interstice of your thighs.
maybe the now carnal environment made it inconvenient to carry on with the perusal of your book, but you're elevating it back up from your sternum regardless. the vivid thought of her eating you out while you read is a bit elating, is it not?
ellie's cunning lips park at the epitome of your core, locking her biceps under your slack legs and dangling her still shoe-clad feet off the beds' brink.
"can't wait to see that beautiful fucking pussy.." her veiled voice has strings of raw ardor plucking in her throttle rippling onto your clothed entrance with a muggy pant on every word.
an unheard gulp passes through to the trench of your chest, sending out a reflex of sweet sensations to your pelvis, whimpering, "mhh- ellie.."
"shhhshhh.. i got'chu.." 
she begins to pleat your panties over themselves and slip them off your legs, whizzing them away to some lifeless nook of the tucked-in sheets.
"fuck.. shit-" ellie heaves in awe, even day after day of seeing you bare, it's so titillating to her, drool is abandoning her lips.
the paragraphs living on the pages merge into an unintelligible blob as your vision drowses and the only sensation you can detect is her breath lathering your exposed slit. an open 'ptui' is heard prior to a wet glob landing on your clit and evoking a jolt from your body.
"so sensitive.." she pokes fun at your reaction, slapping her digits down on your sappy pussy and rubbing the spit through your folds, which to much avail, juts your body again.
"fck!" you hack out a swear at each writhe and prod.
"yeah, like that?" 
the grip on your book tightens, causing it to tremor in your shaky hold.
"gonna taste so fuckin' good, mmh.." she murmurs to herself but you catch the gist since immediately after her lips envelop your clit and enlist deft torpedo laps to it.
a heap of pleasurous pricks throb in your cunt and garner a gentle mewl from your chords, whining, "gh- mhhhn.." tenderly in growing bliss.
ellie laps your clit in brisk flicks while sucking it up with noises similar to kissing resounding through the sheer fabric cascading over her head.
you observe the cover moving with every mild thrust of her head, creasing and shuffling with the halo of her hair. a hand prowls from the sheets' hem and searches for anywhere to rest, to which you beckon it to your breast.
she realizes this and gives it duo squeezes for good measure and her unemployed fingers knead the squishy flesh of your ass, all while smirking.
"mmhh~ I wanna see you.." you mumble into the whafted-shut book, knocking off the already sliding sheet with your knee to reveal a flushed ellie with her nose buried in your crotch, her pretty face poised between your thighs, stuffed in your cunt.
her irises hark this newfound horizon before her and diffuse an intense glare that shudders your soul, sinking her lips deeper into those parted folds and drinking up your sticky deluge.
her mouth disconnects with threads of saliva and slick following, "this pussy tastes s'fucking divine, you know that right?"
"y-yeah.."
"could go down n'you for breakfast, lunch n' dinner.. fuck- baby.." 
ellie retreats her keen tongue, dipping into your entrance and soaking up the lewd coating of your walls. oral sounds of her mouth practically having a make-out sesh with your puffy lips overflow the room and bounce like an echo betwixt your ears.
"ohh my godd.." your moans enhance and amplify in the sea of ebbing relief and flowing pleasure.
her pecan speckled skin tinted with rose is glazed with a sinful slick from how far she pushed her face in, a terribly arousing sight to behold when she withdraws to praise her own work.
"how's m'pretty girl doing?"
"s-so.. closee.."
"want' you to moan my name when you do, yeah?"
"o-okay.."
"I wanna know how fuckin' good I make you feel." her sharp curses stay unyielding in her expression.
"mh-mhghmm.." your throat clogs up in anticipation.
ellie pours over your bare stature one last time before gripping the back of your knees and pushing them up till your feet meet the sky.
"that's better."
her lips smash into your cunt once again and prove to be frothing with a craving for you, clenched brows and grunting into your groin intently. she explores every attainable inch like she knows it, licking up your pre-cum like it's the last fucking meal on earth.
"oh- fuck!" you wail out, webbing your fingers in her frizzed up locks by habit.
her inhuman speeds catch you out of the blue, binding her tastebuds with your natural taste and delighted in every millisecond of it. she hoists onto her knees and hovers over your bottom half, wriggling her tongue over your entire opening and sending that abused clit into overdrive.
"el-ell.. ellie! i can't fucki- ah!" a high squeak blazes from your gullet.
she blurts out, "cum on m'fuckin' face." submerged in your folds.
"els.. mh!"
it's the end for you when she starts purposefully moaning on your bud, finally ushering your climax to dull your senses and numbfuck your consciousness. your reality is painted with a globe of starlight just by the heavenly feeling of it.
"good girl..-fck, there there..." ellies gingerly tone conflicts with her devilish play, drinking up the breach of cum gushing from your orgasm.
"oof.. jeez.." you recline your legs once her hands flee, huffing your way down from the celestial heavens.
ellie clambers up and collapses next to you, a smug and prideful visage staring back at your profile. 
"did ya finish those pages?"
"erm, no." 
she butts off a laugh, "eh, well.." her palm advances your bangs, hooking them behind the conch of your ear, "ended up having more fun, yeah?'
"i- yeah.. I guess.."
"you guess?"
"coulda been a lot better."
"whaaaat?" she mimicked an offended countenance.
"like it's nothing to write home about-"
"u're just trynna rile me up!"
"what if I am?" you boldy tease, tutting your skull side-to-side.
and that's ellie's one weakness, teasing. her brows hike, hollering "ohhh- I see how it is!" and rolls on top of you and thrusts her pelvis down with clear intention, "c'mere-"
"fhmm--" her willowy finger seals your lips, heeding the provocation you've cast into her mind.
"you're on."
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hoep you enjoyed <3
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randomfandomblabdom · 11 months
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I really need to vent about how much I like Cal and Merrin's dynamic in Jedi: Survivor cause they've quickly become probably my favorite canon pairing in the franchise.
I absolutely love that this relationship is built on the basis of friendship, respect, and a genuine mutual understanding of each other. From gameplay comments and conversations, Cal is very clearly so enamored with Merrin and literally everything about her. I know it's become a bit of a joke how clearly into her he is but he just thinks she's the most incredible being in the entire galaxy and it's honestly the sweetest thing. The writers could have very easily made his connection to Merrin a weakness or had it where it made his struggle with the darkness harder but I adore that they allowed him to be completely smitten with her and presented it as a strength. It's refreshing not only in Star Wars but in media in general, at least in my opinion. Love being presented as a positive asset is something so deeply missing in media nowadays - especially romantic love. Far too often in this day and age, love is presented as a weakness or something that will only bring you down, so I respect the fuck out of this writing.
Oops, this got really, really long so I'm putting the rest under a cut. It's kind of spitfire, so I apologize if it feels random.
I love how their first kiss is Merrin basically making a split-second decision where she realizes she doesn't want to die without kissing him at least once even if it runs the risk of making things awkward should they survive. Is it cliche as fuck? Absolutely, but it works so well in this instance. Cal being so dumbfounded, gawking at her like a fish, trying to process what the hell just happened that BD has to remind him they're literally about to die is the best thing too.
I appreciate that Cal is so obviously hesitant about giving into any sort of romantic feelings for Merrin because, of course, he would be due to his upbringing. He's pushing so hard against it to the point that he's even completely reluctant to so much as discuss it with Bode when they're on the Lucrehulk. Personally, I don't think Cal is oblivious to their potential feelings for each other. I've never been a huge fan of treating Cal as completely naive. He still might be a bit emotionally stunted, sure but he's lived 10 years outside of the Jedi Order at this point. I think he's hesitant to talk about it because first of all, it's really none of Bode's business but also, if he talks about it, he has to admit it, and if he admits it, that makes it real, and if it's real... well fuck, now he has to do something about it either way which is exactly what he's trying to avoid. I think he's trying to stay as neutral about it as he can until he gets to a point in the story/his arc where he decides he actually wants or feels ready to make a decision. Bode almost gets it out of him too before they're interrupted. The progression of Bode's questioning during that mission is something I actually find really interesting but that's a different topic.
Many people have pointed this out but Cal smiling so brightly while Merrin is clearly freaking the fuck out of Bode is just the cutest thing. Not only because he finds such humor in her scaring the shit out of people for fun when he of all people knows it's a running joke but he also goes along with the joke any chance he gets. He does this even when she's not around. People will be freaked out by her and he still plays along and it's not even like, "Yeah, I know, she's fucking scary bro," it's more like, "Yeah, I know, she can wake the dead, isn't it amazing how scary she is!" Someone else already pointed this out in another post but that feels almost more intimate than any kiss they share. His attraction to her encompasses all sides of her including those that many people find incredibly terrifying and I find that so endearing, he wouldn't ask her to change for anything. He's the only person who genuinely isn't freaked out by her in the slightest but not only that, he finds that side of her to be so incredible. Also, Cal being so blase with Bode about his obvious attraction to Merrin a mission prior and then having the most blatant sexual tension with her in front of Bode in the next scene is peak comedy, I don't care what anybody says. Like, Cal, honey, you just spent the entire previous mission trying to convince Bode (and yourself) there's nothing there and/or you're not pursuing it, so you're not doing yourself any favors by looking at her like that, standing that close to her, and speaking to her with the cadence of a lover bro.
I love that the second Cal walks onto the Mantis after killing Rayvis, she instantaneously picks up on the fact that something's wrong. Literally instantaneously. You can see her face drop the moment she sees him. She just knows something happened. Her ability to read him insanely well is something that is introduced very early on in the game, most noticeably in the campfire scene, and it stays consistent over the course of the story. The following conversation they have is honestly one of the best moments between them in the entire game. It's this type of conversation I've been wanting to see with a Jedi and their potential lover since Revenge of the Sith. He is so open with her even in a somewhat roundabout way about his genuine fear of losing himself and while the conversation is not explicitly about their relationship, the implication is still there and she 100% picks up on it, especially since he wonders aloud why Santari didn't see the change in Dagan before it was too late. Instead of shaming him for his reservations or calling it ridiculous or anything else she could have said at this moment, she instead decides to possibly help curb those fears and give him some comfort regarding it. She goes on to basically tell him in so few words she knows what she's signing up for and is willing to cross those bridges with him if they come. It's a great difference between Cal and Dagan. Though it's never outright stated that Dagan and Santari were in love, I feel like it's... pretty heavily implied, or at least he was definitely in love with her (was I the only one who read it that way??) but whereas Dagan demands that Santari talk him away from the darkness and seems to almost expect her to, Merrin herself plainly offers to do it with no prodding on Cal's part. It doesn't seem to be a burden Cal wanted to put on her, not something he was inherently expecting of her but she willingly offers, it is her choice, she wants to carry that burden with him. While she does seem maybe slightly annoyed by his hesitancy regarding their relationship to each other, she is also so incredibly patient with him while he's stewing over what he wants to do. It's beautiful. As a side note, "A shared dream is not so easy to wake from," is such an amazing line. Seriously, I want merch with that quote on it.
I liked that going through with the relationship was Cal's choice in the end. Merrin didn't push it, she didn't pressure it. She let him bring it up and come to her when he was ready and if that meant potentially being rejected by a man she very clearly adores, so be it, and I have no doubt she would've respected that choice if that's what he'd wanted. I know a lot of people seem to think he only makes this decision due to Bode's questions earlier but it really seems to be a combination of multiple things that lead to this. Bode picking his brain definitely got him thinking about it, maybe more than he wanted to, but I do think the other big part of Cal being willing to go forward with it at this moment is his confrontation with Dagan that, while an illusion, did cause him to come to grips with his own mortality in a way. "How does it feel knowing you're about to die. That your life meant nothing." As Cal says, Dagan uses an extremely powerful force hallucination based on fear here, so while losing himself to the darkness might scare him, his life being completely meaningless is what he seems to fear the most. Cal's journey throughout Survivor encompasses many things but one of them revolves around feeling aimless and finding a purpose, preferably outside of being a hired weapon that will surely and slowly consume him. It's what everyone consistently tells him: find a home, settle down, embrace happiness because it's fleeting, the path you're on is not healthy and will consume you otherwise...etc. His decision here to give in to his romantic attraction to Merrin is a culmination of all of these interactions and conversations he's had throughout the story, how they've influenced his line of thinking, and him coming to his own conclusions regarding what he personally wants and at this moment, when things are finally, calm and everyone is in a good place with a plan going forward, he personally decides there's no point in living up to the expectations of the Jedi when the Order doesn't exist anymore and wants to see where this could go.
I love the fact that when Merrin witnesses Cal's darkness in the ISB, it's made abundantly clear that she's just as afraid of losing him as he most likely is of losing her. I do think a major reason why she was able to talk him down at the moment is that he fundamentally understands what it feels like to lose everything and everyone, your entire livelihood. That is what they first bonded over and it's something that keeps them bonded in the saddest, yet most profound way and he would never want to add himself to the list of people she's lost. She's also doing exactly what she said she would. In an instance where again, she reads him like a fucking book, she can tell just from his responses on the intercom that he's losing himself and is guiding him back. She immediately went to rescue him as she says. No question, no argument, nothing, she simply does it. She made him a promise and she kept it and in that moment, he promises that she won't lose him, he won't allow it. This is a fundamental difference between Anakin and Padme's dynamic and Cal and Merrin's. While Anakin's love for Padme quite famously ends up extremely selfish in an "I would lose myself to ensure you're not ripped away from me" type of way, Cal and Merrin's dynamic is leaning towards a more selfless, "I won't allow myself to be lost because I can't let that happen for your sake," type of way and god damn it, I love it.
There are several interactions they have in gameplay that I'm lowkey peeved weren't included in cutscenes and one of them is when Cal returns to the Mantis after all but demolishing the ISB, they have this really short but great interaction where Merrin says that if he ever feels that way again, he needs to tell her. She doesn't even ask him to do it, she all but demands it, "If you feel that way again, you will tell me." She's demanding communication from him regarding the darkness and he doesn't fight this demand at all. He agrees to respect this request and I fucking love that from both of them. I will genuinely be kinda upset if we don't get a moment like that in the next game.
I like how their kiss after they've successfully navigated the abyss is kind of their first kiss inverted but instead of "omg we might die, I need to kiss you" it's more "holy shit, we survived, I need to kiss you," but instead of Merrin initiating, now it's Cal. I'm probably reading too much into that but whatever, it's cute.
This isn't about any one part in particular but I do love that it looks like the headcanon so many people had regarding Merrin most likely being quite physically affectionate is turning out to be true.
...I think that's enough for now lol I might add on some things later
Apologies for any typos and thanks for indulging my rambling if you got this far.
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igotanidea · 1 year
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that damn gala: Jason todd x fem!reader
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the graphic is not mine, found it on Pinterest, all credit goes to the author.
Summary: credit for the idea goes to @p4inis: Can someone write a fanfic of “wear whatever u want, I know how to fight” Jason x fem reader???? Like they’re going to a gala and reader can’t choose which dress she should wear and Jay is her biggest hype man.
hope you'll like it: )
A/N: this is part of my Cheshire!reader!verse. You can find another story of it here in the post: Cheshire cat. And there will be more coming for sure since I'm having a lot of fun writing this verse.
Warning: cursing, a bit of sexual innuendo, but nothing explicit, Jason being a warning of himself :D
„Please, remind me why did I even agree to this?”
“Because you truly had no other option?”
“I hate you.”
“We both know you don’t.”
“Really? Do we?” Y/N smirked. Dick Grayson was her longtime friend and it gave her one privilege no one else had. She was resistant to him charm. So when he asked her to come over the annual Wayne gala it took a lot more than a pretty please and a nice smile to actually convince her to do so. Unlike many girls, she hated having to get all dressed up, putting on make-up and heels and acting like someone different than she really was only to win over some potential investors. Honestly, for a long time she couldn’t understand why was it her business. That lasted until Bruce offered her a job, an old RD position of her late father. Of course, the numbers were tempting but the thing was finally made her say yes was the opportunity to work with the latest technology and to put her ideas into work. And use them on patrols later on. So she gave in.
And soon one thing led to another, when she was forced to get involved into those stupid galas. Dick hated them equally as much, but at least he would be accompanied by Babs and they definitely would keep each other entertained. Unlike her friends, Y/N was going to be there by herself since for obvious reasons her beloved anti-hero boyfriend could not attend. So, she would either join Tim in deep conversation concerning Wayne Enterprises, sulk in the corner with Damian scaring people away with only look or spend the night getting drunk from all the expensive alcohol. One way or another it was going to be a loooong night.
“Yeah, we do. Come on Y/N, please, I’m gonna need your help you know it.”
“My help? Dick you are making zero sense. You will have your girl to dance with, Tim to take the duties and Damian for a security system. Why do you need me?”
“Because out of everyone you just mentioned, you are the only person that is actually fun.”
“Should I tell Babs about what you just said?” the girl laughed and heard Dick do the same on the other side of the phone.
“Please don’t” he turned deadly serious a second later “but you know what I mean. We both have known every guest for years now. We know their behavior, their bad traits and can predict who, when and how will make a fool of themselves. We have our inside jokes. Come on, please…..”
“Fine, stop whining, it’s out of character. I’ll come…..
“I knew you will give in at some point.”
“shut up, Grayson. I’m not giving in. Firstly because you will owe me and you know I’m not lenient when someone is in debt with me. Secondly, Jay will not like it, so good luck with having to deal with him. And lastly, I still got my cat claws on, so don’t expect me to be an egg-sucker.”
“As for the debts, that something we’ve been back and forth with for years now, so nothing new. I can deal with my brother, and Tim will deal with toadying, he’s used to it after all.”
“I hate you, Dick.”
“I know Y/n. See you at 9. You need me to pick you? Since you are coming alone?”
“No, I’ll be fine. Cheshire will swing by earlier and change in the manor if that’s fine.”
“I’ll leave the window open. See you, Y/n.”
“See you, Dick.”
She disconnected the phone and rubbed her forehead in frustration. She really though she would get away this year, but she’s been keeping this foolish hope for the last five years, always with no desired result. She always came and frankly it was never even half as bad as she expected, not that Y/N would ever say it out loud. But now, she had to choose a dress to go in and that was the hard part.
***
“Please, tell me you’re not preparing for the gala.” Jason stood in the door, only half-dressed In his gear, watching his girlfriend hurrying-scurrying in front of her wardrobe wearing only a sport bra and a pair of leggings.
“I am…” she groaned
“Was it Grayson? Did he force you? Do you want me to talk to him?” he took a few steps closer and grabbed her hands calming her down a bit.
“Nah. It’s fine. It’s always like this. He said I should come, I object, he uses his last-year arguments and I pretend to fall for them. It’s kind of tradition now. I would hate to break it.” She shrugged
“Maybe I can make knew tradition of making Dick attend the party with a bruise or…..”
“Stop it, Jay!” Y/N punched his shoulder and he grinned “if I really didn’t want to come, believe me I wouldn’t. But it really is entertaining making quiet jokes about all those bigwigs with excessive self-esteem and watching Tim trying his best to not speak his mind. The only thing that sucks about it is that I have to go alone” she moved her hands up his arms to his neck, pulling him in and he immediately grabbed her waist and leaned his forehead on hers, swaying from side to side.
“We can have our little party here. Or you can come with me to the patrol.” He whispered
“Mhm, don’t try to play me. That offer is a trap on your side, Red Hood only works alone. If you don’t count two teammates. And he does not want or need anyone else. Let alone little troublesome vigilante that also works with the bats.”
“That little vigilante cat knows her ways around words. She can play two sides, doesn’t she?”
“Jay, come on. You will never let me go with you and I will never ask. Too much of a risk and distraction. But I’m up for that party for two idea later on….”
“Do you have anything specific in mind?” he whispered seductively and leaned in to kiss her, but she quickly pulled away.
“Maybe. Maybe not. That depends if someone will take me home after the gala tonight. I mean, I have a couple dresses to choose from and I could use man’s advice on what to wear. Even if I absolutely hate the idea of playing the bait for man’s money. And I hate getting dolled up. I’ll be much more comfortable with tee and sweatpants or my suit. But I don’t have much opportunities to look nice, so…..” she pecked Jason lips quickly and moved towards the open wardrobe “what do you think, boyfriend?”
“Babe” every word she just said stung him. He knew she would never betray or cheat on him, but the thought of all those creeps staring at her and getting dirty ideas made him want to tie her to bed and keep her in the sheets with him, reminding her who’s the one to always keep her high and satisfied. But they all had duties to take care of. So he settled on embracing her from behind and kissing her neck softly “you know you can wear whatever you want. You will look hotter than hell. And I know how to fight if anyone would like to steal you away.”
“Babs is the resident beauty not me. If anything Dick should be scared. I’m only …. Addition.”
“Addition?” Jay kissed her neck again hitting her soft spot and making her gasp “you’re the crown jewel, babe. I wish I could go with you and watch everyone getting so jealous of me having you all to myself….” his lips on her skin was sending goosebumps all over her body.
“Jace….” She whispered closing her eyes
“Yes, sweetheart?” his grip was now tighter and she loved it and hate it at the same time.
“Let go of me. Now. Cause if you don’t neither me nor you will leave this apartment tonight.”
“Would it be so bad?” he muttered against her shoulder blade but reluctantly released her. “you should wear the black and red one. You will break necks in it.”
“Bet it has nothing to do with the fact some particular vigilante got those colors as a signature.”
“Vigilante? Who? I don’t really recall anyone choosing that palette.” He smirked with the boyish grin and she could not stop herself from kissing him again.
***  It was 8 when they both left the apartment, using different exits and wishing each other good luck. No hugs and kisses since that would only make them waver once again. Red Hood was on patrol while Cheshire made her way towards Wayne Manor making sure no one was following her. Being truthful to his words, Dick left the window open and without any trouble she found herself in his room, where much to her surprise she found Babs getting ready.
“Hey there, girl.” She smiled removing her domino mask and meeting with red-head wide and sincere smile “what are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same question, kitten. Is my boyfriend cheating on me?”
“Oh, you caught me! I only came here to tell him our little affair was over since I cannot do this to my best friend.” Y/N put her hand on her heart “And arguably because my boyfriend was after him to hurt him, but that’s on the side.”
“It’s good to see you Y/N.” Barbara smiled again and came to hug the other girl “dick told me you were going to get ready here so I thought we might as well help each other in preparation.”
“Oh, thank god for your foresight. I have no idea how to drape this freaking dress to avoid putting my whole chest on display.
“I had my suspicions about that.”
“And I am absolutely hopeless with makeup and hairdo, so yes, please and thank you for any help you can give me.”
“Don’t worry, my friend. I will make you look perfect.”
***
Barbara really was a magician with women stuff. Only because of her skillful hands and endless ideas Y/N was now looking like a real lady, classy and gentle, even if most of the times she was just a girl next door. Her dress fit her perfectly and any risk of showing too much was eliminated by cleverly used veil, draped on girl’s shoulder. Her make-up was almost invisible since Y/N had pretty skin (luckily she got no bruises or cuts for the last week so there was no problem with that) and she refused using anything more than some concealer, liner and mascara sticking to the minimum. Unlike Babs she ditched the lipstick not wanting to look like Joker after having one drink and leaving stains on the glass and all over. But still, she felt odd, especially standing next to Babs with her perfect figure and proud posture. Cheshire was used to skin tight suit that was supposed to protect her and enable all the kicks and punches, but this? Evening gown that accented all her hated curves and imperfections  made her feel exposed, not protected. And this was another tradition that was happening every single year even though after all this time she should already be used to it.
“good evening, ladies.” Dick emerged from behind and offered an arm to Barbara “Babs, Y/N.”
“Richard.” Babs smiled at her boyfriend
“Hello Grayson” Y/N smirked only to cover for her insecurity. In a second she would be left all alone like a prey while Dick and Babs will make rounds together.
“You look nervous kitten” Dick pointed out and Y/N scoffed
“Nervous? Of course I am. I’m nervous for the safety of everyone here. You know I got…..”
“claws, I know. And that is exactly why I took care of things.”
“I’m sorry you did what?” she nearly choked because of his words.
“There’s this one guy, really big fish in IT industry. We are trying to get him to share some ideas with WE. And since you are in a warlike mood, you will talk to him. Besides, you are the only one here that actually knows enough about the technology to cover the subject so…..”
“Are you insane?!” she yelled-whispered “did you even hear a word I told you about attending this gala. I wanted out of the radar not being put on the spotlight! What happened to…..” she paused when an elderly couple passed through and smiled charmingly “what happened to the inside jokes and making fun of people?!”
“I’m sorry Y/N, but it’s like I said. You’re the only one knowledgeable enough to succeed. Just this one guy, please, and then you are off the hook.”
“Where is Tim when you need him?” she hissed and reached for the nearest glass of champagne “I don’t think I can do it sober.”
“I will owe you twice” Dick pleaded
“That is tempting…..”
***
The guy assigned to Y/N was hot. Tall, dark haired and well-build, with perfect nose, lips and all face. His eyes glistened when he saw her approaching and in a real gentleman manner he turned towards the girl.
“You must be miss Y/N Y/L/N?” of course his smile was perfect as well and Y/N was almost blinded by the whiteness of his teeth
“I am” she smiled through gritted teeth “I suppose you’re the tech genius Mr. Blake?”
“ Please, call me Desmond. It would be so much easier to cut the distance this way”
“I see you are very direct Desmond. Does that match in the workplace?” he might have been a predator but she was the one who hold power over words, not the other way round.
“We are not in workplace, are we?”
“But we are supposed to discuss some RD matters.”
“Who said we can’t have a little fun while at it? This is a party after all.”
“High-class party, Mr. Blake and as a CEO you surely understand that.”
“Of course, I had nothing wrong on my mind. Tell me, miss Y/N, do you dance?”
“Only when I’m forced to” she muttered making sure he couldn’t hear her while taking another discreet sip of champagne
“I’m sorry?”
“I said I do, although I am not very good at it.”
“Maybe you just haven’t met the right partner. Let me guide you” he offered his hand and lead Y/N onto the dancefloor.
This was going to be a looooong night, she thought while noticing Dick and Babs moving to the music on her left. Dick put his thumb up while Barbara only smiled. This was already a torture. Hopefully, things were going better for Jay.
***
Two hours and three drinks later Desmond seemed a bit nicer than at the beginning. Y/N was not drunk, she was used to keep her senses alerted all the time so she poured away all the alcohol Desmond so wholeheartedly kept on bringing. He did not and that’s why they were now sitting on the secluded couch, far from the crowd, the man babbling about how pretty she looked and how much of his type she was.
“I think you had enough Mr. Blake” she put a hand on his when he reached towards another glass. Apparently that was a mistake since he turned her gaze towards her, his eyes widening.
“Tell me Y/N, why is a girl like you alone at the party? I mean, you are hot.” Oh, fuck. She knew where he was going now. “and everyone here is just ogling you, me included.” Fuck square since he moved closer, almost grabbing her hip.
“ You’re drunk” she said standing up “I think you should sober up. Alone.”
“Don’t you dare turning your back on me, you little bitch. Who do you think you are?”
If only he knew…..
“A woman who knows better than to argue with you. You work for your own reputation Mr. Blake and let me tell you, you are only embarrassing yourself right now. Maybe you should stop before some reporter takes a picture of you stumbling.”
“You think you are so high and mighty, huh? A strong, independent woman, working for Wayne? Acting like a whore to get some attention and you can’t even get a boyfriend?”
“Careful with words, now” she warned slowly turning into Cheshire
“Or what? What exactly will you do, huh? Cause I don’t think you will do a thing…..” he lunged forward and before she could react had her pressed onto the wall, his lips on hers “you are only good for one night stand. And you ask for it, wearing that dress, you little bitch. You only deserved to be fucked and forgotten.’ He was using the fact no one could see them in this place
“Get the fuck off me!!!” she yelled all her instincts kicking in when she pushed the man away and he stumbled back. Unfortunately, while doing so, he stepped onto the hem of her dress tearing it apart and leaving Y/N legs almost completely exposed. “Damn it.” She muttered turning red while the man started laughing like crazy which finally caught some attention and Dick immediately came running for rescue.
“What is going on here?”
“Your little wanton friend is finally dressed the way she should be from the beginning.” Blake snorted
“Mr Blake, I think you should leave….” Tim rushed from the other side of the ballroom scared that either his brother or his friend would kick the man’s ass and made even more of a scene. This was going to be a PR nightmare.
“Leave? Oh, no, no, no. Not before I have a little fun with your little rag doll, here.”
“Let me though.” Another voice interrupted the discussion and Y/N, Dick and Tim turned their gazes towards the side where it came from.
“You’ve got to be kidding me….” Dick whined
“Oh, hell no!” Tim screamed
“What the…..?” y/N said in surprise
“What. The fuck. You think. You are doing?”
“Jason…..” dick tried to step between his brother and Blake before it came to fisticuffs. All of a sudden the latter became much more sober than a second before.
“Get out of my way, Dickhead. This scumbag just humiliated my girlfriend. I will not let him get away with it.”
“I’m sorry but…..”
“You are not sorry.”
“You’re right. I’m not sorry and I can’t let you through. We are trying our best to avoid bloodbath here.”
“I don’t fucking care! He asked for it.”
“Jason.”
“Back off, replacement!”
“Jason.”
Only now he stopped in his tracks. Because of her voice. Her soft, calm voice. All this time she was standing there silently watching the scene, her dress torn apart , hair messy due to the scuffle, being her calm, collected self. Fuck, she was so beautiful, somewhere deep inside he could not blame this man for wanting her. Who wouldn’t wish for this beauty to be in his arms. But she was his and only his. Only he was allowed to hold her and kiss her and love her. No one fucking else. And this one here, were not only trying to force himself on her, but also called her a bitch and a whore. And that was something Jason Todd could not let go easily.
“Jason, please, let’s just go home.” She said calmly “come on, baby. Nothing happened, all right? He’s not worth your anger. He’s just sad, pathetic man with a lot of problems, apparently. I’m safe.”
“Baby” Jason came closer to her sneaking his arms around her pulling her close “he needs to be punished. He offended you. Let me  take care of that…..”
“Nope. Not this time. Besides, as much as I appreciate your effort, I can take care of myself and this one is just beyond are level. So why bother when we can go home and have that little party for two you mentioned earlier?” she caressed his side softly looking straight into his eyes and he was slowly melting.
“See? I told she is a whore! You better watch out for her, she will cheat on you with the first man…..” Blake did not get to finish the sentence when Dick and Jason grabbed each of his arm and dragged him out the door.
“This will hit all the headlines tomorrow morning….” Tim stammered out, his face as white as a ghost
“You can just buyout all the press companies in Gotham” Y/N said, equally white, but not because of the press.
“Are you kidding me now Y/N?!”
“Come on, Tim. Not the first PR drama for WE. We can turn this around. If not as Y/N and Tim then as Cheshire and Red Robin. We’ve done this before, all right?”
“Fine.” He huffed “One problem at the time. Now, are you all right? He did not hurt you, did he?”
“He could never. I’m better and stronger than it seems in this dress, or rather half-dress now.”
“Good. Otherwise I would have to stand against my own rules and help dick and Jason beat the man.”
“Speaking of the devils, this is taking them too long. Do you think maybe we should check out what is going on?”
“Nothing is going on. The boys are making sure Blake would never come around again. And from what I can predict his company will go down soon.” Barbara chimed in
“If that’s coming from the Oracle, who are we to argue?”
“By the way, where is Damian? He was supposed to act like security. How the hell did Jason sneak in? Not that I’m complaining, but I’d rather dance with my boyfriend than see him fight again ….”
“I was not the security! I never wanted to be here in the first place! I was forced!”
“Who wasn’t?” Tim scoffed
“You’re good Y/N/N?” Damian asked turning towards the girl
“Yes! God! I’m fine, please stop asking me that. I’m just a bit ….. tired.”
“You can stay at the manor than. There is always a place for you.”
“Thanks Dami, but…..”
“She is not going to stay. I’m taking her home.” Jason came into the view again, his nose bleeding.
“What did you do Jace?”
"I told you I know how to fight for you."
“Where is Dick?” Barbara became alerted and both girls exchanged looks
“I’m here. I’m fine. It’s all taken care off.” The oldest Wayne was clutching his bleeding nose as well.
“Did you two have a fight? How unsurprising…..”
"Wait, you beat each other instead of that fucking Blake?" Damian frowned "Can I do it then? I need some action, this party is boring like hell."
"He's been taken care of as well. Probably won't come around ever again" Jason stated proudly.
"What did you do him? Can you descibe in details?" the youngest brother suddenly became much more energetic and interested.
“I’m out, I’m done” Tim turned around throwing his hands in the air “you are all on your own now. I;ve got to do some damage control. See you tomorrow, Y/N. Remember your promise.” He left and so did Damian leaving Jason, y/n, Babs and Dick alone.
“Why did you beat him Jace?”
“He was supposed to watch out for you!”
“I said I’m fine!”
“But who knows what could have happened?!”
“could have, would have, should have….. How about we stop with the possibilities that never came to life, hm? How about you calm down, Jace?”
“How can I calm down?! You could have been hurt!”
“Dick? Babs? I’m so terribly sorry for everything that just happened.” Y/N decided to stop paying attention to Jason for a while.
“As much as I hate to say it, it might have been a bit of my fault.” Dick admitted
“a bit?!”
“Shut up Jason. I’m not talking to you now!” Y/N hissed and he just stood there with open mouth but did not dare saying a word. “I think we should call it a night, do you agree, Babs. We can’t let boys kill each other, right? Someone has to be smart.”
“Yeah, that’s true. We can’t ever rely on them with life choices, can we?”
“Nope. But I guess that’s the Wayne charm. Talk to you tomorrow?”
“Sure y/n. I’ll let you know if dick’s coming after Jay to take revenge for the beating.”
“Ok. I’ll let you know if Jace is coming after Dick to avenge my honor” Y/N laughed and waved Babs and Dick goodbye before turning to Jason. “As for you….”
“Look, I did not mean to make a scene…..”
“Jay….”
“I saw you in danger and acted without thinking…..”
“Jason….”
“You know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you…..”
“Oh for god’s sake!” she moved forward and cut his babbling with a passionate kiss taking him by surprise and leaving a few spare seconds for his brain to react and started kissing her back, his hands travelling up her sides. “I love you, you idiot. And I’m not mad at you, really. That was kind of…. Hot.”
“Only kind of?” he smirked
“Yes, because you still think I cannot take care of myself. You really don’t have to put  the guns out every time you think I’m in danger. Especially when I’m not.”
“but you still like me in my vigilante mode, don’t you?”
 “I never said it.” She scoffed
“Sometimes, words are not needed. I can settle on sounds.” He smirked and she smacked his head becoming red.
“Why are you even here? What about patrol? What about….red’s matters?”
“It’s a quiet night. I was patrolling nearby by accident….
“by accident?” she raised an eyebrow
“And thought I would swing by. And you know the rest.”
‘You are a child, Jason. A big child. And we definitely have a lot to work on in that area. Are you going back on patrol?”
“I wasn’t planning on, but…..”
“Good. Cause you know, I might be a bit turned on and need someone to take care of that. Are you up for the challenge?”
“Let’s go upstairs.” He picked her up and carried her the stairs to his old room, bridal style.
“Wait, here?!” she squealed when he threw her onto the bed and climbed up hovering over her body.
“Do you think I can wait? Honey, I need you right now.” He pressed his lips onto her, delighting in the way she melted into him and started letting out those sweets sounds. “now we can start our party” he smirked moving down her body, removing the straps of her dress and taking care of each square centimeter of her body.
“Jason….” she moaned arching her back “come on, don’t tease…..”
“I’m taking my time with you, babe. You will have to deal with it….”
@pinksirensong @somest1 - let me know if anyone wants a tag in any of my stories
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sineala · 7 months
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Superheroes and ethics
I realized that I wrote this last month on Patreon and forgot to post it here. I got asked to write meta about superhero ethics with regard to Steve and Tony. I ended up writing mostly about how Captain America's Plot Armor interacts with his principles.
I have been asked to talk about ethics and philosophy with respect to Steve and Tony. Unfortunately, the only philosophy-adjacent disciplines that I know well enough to speak about with any confidence are formal semantics and pragmatics, which isn't really all that useful in daily life unless you'd really like to learn about the differences between entailment, presupposition, and implicature, and also the Gricean maxims of conversation, which are great if you want to completely ruin conversations by violating them as many times as you possibly can.
So I'm not a philosopher, sorry.
But! I can talk more informally about Steve and Tony and ethics.
And I know there's been a lot of meta -- and actual books -- written about their differing views. I have a book here, A Philosopher Reads Marvel Comics' Civil War: Exploring the Moral Judgment of Captain America, Iron Man, and Spider-Man, by Mark White, which I have not read yet but it sounds like this is probably the book you want to read if you want an actual philosophical analysis of this stuff. Judging by the reviews, the author decides to associate Tony with utilitarianism and Steve with deontology. That is probably fun. I am in no way qualified to talk about it. On an informal level, the thing I find fascinating about them is that, when it comes down to it, Steve and Tony are really not all that different.
I have been thinking about this for a while, because the last time I left anonymous asks open on Tumblr, the final ask I got before I decided that this wasn't a good idea was someone who wanted to pick a fight with me by asserting that Steve/Tony was a bad pairing because "they don't think alike, have different morals, different interests, and different emotional issues that the other is not capable of helping out with." This is one of the reasons why I don't have anon asks on anymore. But I thought it was honestly an interesting thing to think about.
So I have been pondering this on and off for a while, and I realized that the thing that really bugged me about it was that their general thesis was that Steve and Tony were bad for each other because they have nothing in common. See, I don't think that's true. I think they have a whole lot in common. But I am also willing to acknowledge that canon likes to put them in situations where they're at odds with each other and it seems fairly easy to come up with circumstances that will cause them to want to beat the stuffing out of each other. But, crucially, this doesn't mean they have nothing in common.
(I also think they actually have a lot of similar interests and are actually very capable of helping each other with their emotional issues, which canon demonstrates multiple times. But that'd be a different essay.)
For me, one of the reasons why Steve/Tony are so compelling as a pairing is because they are so similar. Let's call it, like, 95% similar. They are remarkably like-minded when it comes to their values and how they view the world. It's just that then they can fight, bitterly, over the remaining 5% of differences.
They work well together most of the time and it's just the bits where they almost work together that are so agonizing and provide so much material for fandom. Because it's not like they don't understand where the other one is coming from, what they want, or why they want it. They do. They just don't understand how the other person can come up with a different path to the answer given their shared goal and shared values. Steve doesn't understand how Tony is willing to do something that Steve thinks is wrong, and Tony thinks, I don't know, that Steve's ideals are too naive for the real world. Tony thinks Steve's plans are unrealistic and Steve thinks Tony's plans are unacceptable.
There's also an additional complication, which is that Steve as a character has a lot of plot armor that Tony doesn't. Steve decides what he thinks is moral and what he thinks is immoral, and he simply does not do the immoral thing. And the thing is that the narrative helps Steve out with this. It's fine if he's idealistic! It's even okay if his ideals are naive! He almost never has to go against them. I am saying this as a big fan of Steve. The story really helps him out.
For example, Steve thinks that killing is wrong, so he doesn't kill anyone, generally speaking. (Depending on the retcon you believe in, he may have in fact killed zero people in World War II, which is kind of ridiculous.) But in situations where the best of the options involves killing someone, someone pretty much always ends up dead. It's just that someone else does the dirty work. Steve surrounds himself with a lot of spies and assassins (Bucky, Sharon, Natasha) and those people kill the people who need killing.
In Civil War, Steve believes Registration is wrong, and he never has to change his mind. He probably still believes it's wrong. Instead of going on trial, he dies; he never has to face the consequences of any of his actions. The narrative shields him from that. When he comes back to life, Registration is gone and he gets a pardon from the president. It's all taken care of. He causes a lot of damage, and he doesn't even have to say he's sorry for trying to bash Tony's face in, in public, with witnesses, after having destroyed what looks like several city blocks.
So Steve never compromises his principles, because he has the luxury afforded to him by the plot so that he almost never has to be in a situation where he'd have to decide whether he should compromise his principles, say, for the sake of the greater good. He doesn't have to make that choice, because Marvel's not interested in writing stories where Steve has to make that choice. So it just… doesn't come up. He almost never has to put his ethics to an actual test. If you hand Steve the trolley problem, he'd just say, well, I'd save everyone. That's not an actual option in the trolley problem. But he's pretty much always going to be in a plot where he gets to do the right thing and save everyone.
Tony, though? Tony has to do terrible things for the sake of the greater good all the time. He doesn't get to opt out of the decisions. Even on a personal level, he has to do terrible things to himself. He has to decide probably at least half a dozen times whether he should wear the armor even if wearing the armor is hurting him -- say, when he decides to take on the LMD in the arc where he gets his first artificial heart, or in Armor Wars II, or in that storyline in the middle of Busiek's run after he gets beaten up by the Mandarin. And he always decides to wear the armor no matter what the personal cost is to his body. He ends up in a lot of fights where he has to take pretty bad damage to save the world -- and while Steve would also make that decision, Steve's going to heal up and be fine, like in his recent run where Bucky shoots him in the shoulder. He has a healing factor and he's fine in a couple weeks. Tony breaks his back in order to save civilians and then gets addicted to morphine and ruins his life for a good long while. That kind of stuff, with lasting physical consequences, just doesn't happen to Steve. Let's not talk about Streets of Poison.
It's pretty obvious when you look at their biggest fights (say, Civil War and the incursions) that Tony believes that the ends justify the means, and Steve doesn't. However, Steve doesn't exactly have usable alternate suggestions. The plot armor helps him out there. Steve espouses extremely noble ideas, life and liberty and all that… that are not actually workable plans.
And because of how the narrative treats him, he doesn't really need to have workable plans, either. It's not like he actually uses them. Because he's just going to be fine. (Except in the incursions, but everyone came back to life afterward so it's all fine.)
Steve doesn't like the SHRA. Okay. Fine. He believes it's an unjust law. His plan is apparently to just… keep fighting Tony and anyone else who tries to take him into custody for not registering. What's his endgame? Does he have one? His plan appears to be "be on the run from the government forever." As far as I can remember, he would prefer the situation to go back to the way it was but he does not, to my knowledge, ever propose a way of achieving that. He's not out there saying the law itself should be found unconstitutional or anything.
Similarly, with the incursions, after the Gauntlet breaks, the Illuminati have no solution for an incursion that isn't building bombs and destroying the other Earth in the incursion. Either they act to destroy the other Earth, or through inaction, both Earths are destroyed. Big ol' trolley problem. Steve refuses to play. Steve says he can't countenance that. Excellent moral stance. It's very him. He says, "I believe we'll find a way to stop it." He doesn't have any ideas besides "not the thing Tony is doing," which appears to also be his stance about the SHRA. If they'd let Steve stay in the Illuminati… what would he have done? I suppose the possibility exists that if he managed to flip one of the scientists to his side he'd get them to think up an alternate answer. He could have suggested that everyone evacuate Earth. But he doesn't actually have an idea, personally for what to do. Other than "nobody should die."
(That isn't even what happens, in the end. Of course, by the end, Steve is trying to hunt Tony down and kill him, so you could argue that he's not really behaving much like himself there, and neither is Tony.)
Anyway. When you think about it, what Steve wants and what Tony wants, in both scenarios, is pretty much the same thing. They have the same values and the same goals; it's just that the paths they're willing to take are different. But when it comes down to it, they both actually want the exact same thing. Like they do most of the time. They both want to save the world. Except now they're fighting about how to get what they want. The fights are about the details. At least in 616.
We can contrast 616 Civil War with MCU Civil War. I have actually only watched CACW once, so this is going to be fun and possibly inaccurate. The 616 SHRA and the MCU Accords are, very broadly speaking, about the same general topic: government oversight of superheroes. In the MCU, after the disaster in Lagos, the UN decides that they can't just have the Avengers running around wherever they want, exploding things and getting people killed. Tony agrees with the need for UN oversight. Steve does not; he feels that the Avengers should be able to go wherever they need to go without getting caught up in red tape. Here in the MCU, Steve and Tony not only disagree on what the right thing to do is, they disagree on what the right outcome should be, and the reasons for that. Steve wants things the way they were. Tony would be okay with some amount of oversight. They both have different visions of the way the Avengers would look and operate, because they value different things; Steve wants autonomy and Tony wants accountability. The fight isn't just about the details. The fight is about everything.
This isn't the case in 616 Civil War. No one is fighting for (or against) "I, a superhero, should be able to go wherever I want for superhero reasons." UN oversight is one of those things that all the Avengers, including Steve, have agreed about for years; there are panels of Steve asking to get UN clearance before the Avengers zip off to Russia to save Tony. What happens in 616 is that an inexperienced superhero team gets into a fight they can't control, destroying a school in Stamford, CT, with massive casualties. The SHRA is a US bill saying that all American superhumans (which is probably thousands of people) should register with the government, receive training if they want to be heroes, and provide the government with their real names.
Both Steve and Tony are opposed to this, before Stamford. Then, when Stamford happens, Tony realizes the SHRA is happening no matter what and decides to support it. Even with the SHRA in effect, both Steve and Tony think there should be superhuman oversight; Steve just thinks it should be the teams training people up, the same way as they've always done. They don't even disagree about that; Tony also thinks they should be in charge of oversight, but he means himself (and Steve if Steve would ever join him). The people training superheroes would in fact still be them, both of them, no matter which side wins the war. Neither of them trust the government to handle Registration well. Steve's answer is to object to the very idea of Registration and to stay away from the government, and Tony's answer is to get in there and keep the superhero database in his own head so that Gyrich won't get the list of names and start sending Sentinels after everyone.
So they both massively distrust the government's presumed right and/or ability to safely do this, and want to protect superheroes from government oversight as much as possible. That's basically the same stance. Steve just thinks no one should get anywhere near the government, and Tony thinks if he gets in there he can make it less bad. He can be the guy doing the oversight. People who don't register might get arrested but at least they won't be killed by Sentinels, because he can stop that from happening. Steve isn't willing to imprison his friends at all, probably because he doesn't believe Tony when Tony says the only other option is death (i.e., they can't go back to the way things were -- although of course that's eventually what ends up happening, albeit long after Civil War is over). He probably thinks there's a secret third option, because for him there usually is. But what they basically want is the same thing. Tony's just willing to go a little farther than Steve is to get there.
Sure, Tony's plans aren't perfect. But he does have them. Sometimes they're really lousy, because sometimes there is no good solution. I acknowledge that he does a lot of things in Civil War that are actually pretty rotten. I am saying this as a fan of Tony. He does some bad things. He starts a war with Atlantis. He manipulates Peter Parker into unmasking, which has terrible consequences. He builds a prison. He imprisons a lot of his friends. But none of these things involve the government massacring superhumans. The one really, really bad future he's afraid of doesn't happen. (And we know, thanks to that one What If issue, that that's exactly what would happen if he weren't running Registration.) Other bad things happen, yes. But not that, which is the worst.
Steve doesn't want anything bad to happen. Steve just wants the good solutions, with no moral or ethical compromise on his part. and he usually gets them eventually by narrative fiat. Sometimes he has to die first -- which is, of course, what happens in Civil War -- but, eh, whatever, it's comics. That's not really a major drawback for superheroes. And eventually he gets what he wants, because comics return to the status quo. Everything goes back to the way it was.
It's the same thing with the incursions. Neither Steve nor Tony want their Earth to be destroyed, obviously, but Tony is willing to build bombs to destroy the other Earths in case they can't find any other solution. Steve says he thinks there will be another way. And neither of them want to use the bombs! Tony doesn't want to use them at all! The Illuminati don't actually find themselves in a situation where they have to decide whether to bomb a populated Earth until the Great Society incursion, and Tony refuses to be the one to do it. After Namor does it, Tony is distraught and says he thought they'd find another way -- which is the exact same thing Steve said to him except nobody kicked Tony off the Illuminati for saying it. They both have the same attitude. They want the same outcome. They don't want to use the bombs. It's just that Tony's willing to build them. They're pretty much on the same side here about everything (including the desire to not bomb other planets) except the lengths to which Tony is willing to go to have a backup plan. Just like Civil War.
I suppose I would say that, overall, comparing Steve and Tony's relative ethics seems hard to do in a way that is fair to both of them because Steve is so often given the ability to stick to his beliefs in a way that Tony isn't. "What does Steve do when he actually can't do the right thing" is one of those questions that doesn't seem to get explored all that much, except possibly at the end of Hickman's Avengers run, in which everything was going to hell anyway, and it wasn't like he got to be in Secret Wars to try to fix it. He does also tend to quit being Captain America when he doesn't like the government, although I think in that case that's more that doing the right thing at that time is Not Being Captain America.
(Secret Avengers is also a pretty good look at a Steve who has to do bad things and really, really doesn't like the things he's doing. He doesn't handle compromising his own values all that well. I think that would be a whole other essay.)
But anyway, yeah -- I think 616 Steve and Tony are on the same side when they fight, more than you might think they are given how many panels we have of them dramatically punching each other. Tony believes that the ends justify the means, and essentially, a lot of their fights are because Steve disagrees with Tony's means -- but he is very often 100% on board with Tony's actual motives, which I think is a fact that often gets lost when we start talking about their conflicts, because at that point we… want to talk about their conflicts. But I think they really do agree with each other a lot, which is what makes their conflicts so interesting and painful.
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an unhinged (and unofficial) dissertation on the pjo fandom
so i don't usually post anything that isn't my-works-related, but i had a...mildly heated discussion with a fellow film student tonight about the pjo show and it's got me thinking. bear with me, we'll be here awhile.
as we all know, the first season of pjo has ended. i've stayed relatively OFF tumblr and other social media during this time, but i know there are a lot of OG fans who are (in their words) "massively disappointed" in the show. most of the complaints i've heard have been during in person conversations though, so this post is mostly going to be referencing real complaints i've heard.
i've been a part of this fandom since i was thirteen. that's nearly eight fucking years of my life that i've devoted to the pjo universe. i have written and consumed YEARS' worth of fanfiction, i have read and reread every book so many times i can quote them forwards and backwards, and i went to the bookstore every single year on the new books' release dates to pick up my copies in-person. this fandom, these characters and this world have brought so much joy to my life, and i don't think i could ever fully articulate that in words. when i think of this series, i genuinely feel nothing but happiness.
but a few years ago—around the time i started college—i started distancing myself from the fandom for one glaring reason. this fandom can be such an...angry place? like, genuinely, i don't know how far it goes back—maybe all the way to the release of HoA, honestly—but i wasn't here pre-HoA, so all i know is that i very much remember how much people hated ToA when it came out.
here i was, having the TIME of my life with apollo and his silly little haikus, and people are going to war over how the series' writing quality has gone to shit and how everything was better before, blah, blah, blah. IN SPITE of everything that series gave us—discussion of the repercussions of child abuse and ptsd, representation of lgbtqa+ characters, and deep psychological messages that really teach young readers, i think, how to better understand themselves and their emotions and deal with them in healthy ways. and it just wasn't fun to be in a fandom where, as soon as you go "hey, did you read the new book?" they scoff and roll their eyes and only want to talk about how terrible it is. (i also missed all the discourse on the sun and the star when it came out—PHENOMENAL read, btw—but i've read some things that lead me to believe that it wasn't well received either, in spite of how lovely it was.)
so...it's dramatic to say i "left" the fandom, but i certainly withdrew from it. deleted my pjo ao3 and tumblr, started over with a different fandom. but the love has always been there, and the show starting really helped spark it fully back to life.
but now, the same thing is happening again, i'm noticing. remember back in the day, when we only had the shitty fucking movies, and we were like "man, ANYTHING would be better than this garbage. literally just give us actors who are the right age and we'll be happy." well, now we have PHENOMENAL kid actors who genuinely are having a good time playing our beloved characters, and instead of supporting them, we're STILL complaining about them not being "portrayed correctly"?
i've talked to so many people who complain that percy is "too smart," which is kind of a bullshit insult to percy's canon character. in the books (at least the first five) we're seeing things ONLY from percy's pov. he's a kid who's struggled with learning disabilities and been told he's an idiot all his life by everyone except his mom—but as others have pointed out way more eloquently than i could, percy is a very intelligent and powerful individual while maintaining his goofy fun personality, which is WHY so many people love him so much. he's complex, and i think they managed to capture that really well in the show even amidst all the changes.
don't get me started on the fucking racism towards leah sava jeffries—i'm honest to gods ashamed that there are racists who call themselves pjo fans. she is so talented, and everything we ever could have hoped for in an on-screen annabeth. ALL of the kids are—there's literally no argument to be had there.
and then, if people aren't complaining about the casting, it's the series' writing. or there's too much exposition. rick is changing too many things. the directors don't know what they're doing. it's not a TRUE book adaptation. (someone said that to me, and i genuinely laughed because i thought they were joking. when the MOVIES exist, they wanted to make that comment about the show.)
are there some things i would change about the show, given the opportunity? god, yes. the set design for the underworld was horrendous. (in my opinion, of course.) but here's the thing. i have spent eight years of my life waiting for this show to happen, and in that time, i've learned a lot about how much goes into successfully producing such a complex series. how much money and time is spent, and how many people have to be on board to make it happen. it's genuinely kind of miraculous that we're even getting this show at all, considering all the ways it could have failed before it even made it out of pre-production.
and i think we, as fans, sometimes forget that we aren't owed this. we don't own the percy jackson franchise. it makes me so sick and tired when authors or artists in any capacity feel like they have to cater their works to the masses, because they know they'll get thrown into the fucking fire if they don't. rick and becky riordan didn't have to got to the trouble of producing this show for us. they chose to—everyone involved chose to—because they wanted to make something fun and enjoyable not only for the fans, but everyone who chose to be a part of it.
do you know how insane it is that, when you read pretty much any interview of pjo bts, everyone talks about how fun the production was? i've been on film sets. they can be ABSOLUTELY miserable when they're not done right. but eight months into production, the kids were still laughing and having a good time, everyone's still giving 100%, they're excited, it's fun. walker was willing to go into a diving tank for a full fucking day in order to get one scene—i know i would never have that kind of dedication, and i bet 99% of you wouldn't either.
i know this has gotten really long-winded, but i've said all of that to say that...i'm kind of tired of fans trying to bring down the show, and more than that, trying to bring down each other for having a good time. as i've said before (many times, i'm sure), i waited eight years for this, and i have had SUCH a fun time watching it. assuming we get a season 2 renewal, there are going to be even more new fans coming in than we've already gotten from season 1, and i want this fandom to be a fun and positive place for them. for all of us. we don't have to miserable and angry all time. we can critique the show, sure—it's not perfect, and it was never going to be—but we have to remember that television is an art form, and that art is subjective even when it involves our favorite characters. and we can accept that and still have a good time, because it's just more fun to have fun, you know?
this fandom has always had so much potential to be the BIGGEST, most supportive and kind and loving fandom. with how much representation this series has, with how much content we've been given, with the SHEER massive number of us...i've always thought we could be a really, really great community. maybe it's impossible to hope that we could be the best fandom on earth, but if nothing else...could we all try to just be a little bit kinder? genuinely, as cheesy as it may sound...it's just nicer when we're nice to each other. and when there's so many real things in the world to be mad about...i would much rather this be a place where we can come to at the end of a long day and just...feel at home. personally, i just think that would be really, really nice.
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shikai-the-storyteller · 11 months
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UEUEUEUEUEUEU ILL SEND YOU THIS WHILE WAITING TO SEE BOBBYS STATUS.
Dw idm u answering publicly, I want everyone to be cursed w the thought that Rubius is a babygirl and a very bad one at that <3
Honestly I've only read a few explanations of their lore and bits about their relationship but they seem sooooo,,, /pos. Like they have such a fun and silly dynamic that has this air of toxicity and their loves feels quite self destructive bc rubius is kind of a destructive force of nature of a person who has a tendency to hurt those around him, perhaps as a defense mechanism or perhaps out of simply not understanding there are consequences to the things he does while vegetta is someone far too forgiving, he continues to love rubius despite how much he hurts himself, others, and vegetta himself. I'm not saying cubito rubius is an awful person but from what I've seen he is,,, complex. Difficult despite seeming silly. I could be just completely wrong tho LOL I am doin my best I prommy
ANYWAYS IM CHEERING U ON IN WRITING!!! I'd love to talk to u abt them more and learn more abt rubegetta bc like. Look. Theres no way q!vegetta isnt hung up on that demon idc,,,
I'm likewise waiting for the Eggstatistics (which will probably get posted while I'm in the middle of writing this) (EDIT: IT DID) and you gave me the opportunity to infodump so prepare for an essay LMAO
There are SO many layers to Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship (both romantic and friendship-wise), and that complexity makes them fascinating characters to study. I’ve been discussing this a lot in private lately, but I feel like there’s quite a bit of misinformation / misinterpretations of Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship amongst some of the newer fans who might not know some key components of their personality and their relationship dynamic as a whole (which is understandable since the majority of their lore came from Karmaland, and a lot of newer fans only speak English / only watch QSMP), so ALLOW ME TO ELABORATE:
I think of the two, Rubius definitely gets mischaracterized the most (which, again, maybe isn't too surprising since not everyone watched Karmaland and he hasn't been on the QSMP server too much lately). I could go off on a tangent here and list my frustrations about the people who harassed him for his role / his actions during the Egg event / whining about ships to the point where he decided not to log into the server again ‘til the Egg event is over, but that's ultimately irrelevant to this discussion.
“Their love feels quite self-destructive” is a really good way to sum things up, because Rubius is a pretty self-destructive man. Rubius is, fundamentally, a man who is full of love for the people he cares about, but those feelings are in direct conflict with his reluctance to let people get close to him (and his commitment issues). He can freely give hugs and kisses (and more) to Vegetta, but when it comes to expressing his true thoughts and feelings, he’s pretty emotionally constipated. We’ve already seen this a few times on the QSMP server – when Rubius visits on Vegetta’s birthday, he sings him the most beautiful heartfelt love song ever, but as soon as it’s over and Vegetta tries to talk to him, Rubius runs away. Even in Karmaland V, when hooked up to a lie detector and asked about his feelings for Vegetta, Rubius tried to wiggle his way out of answering. Only when the world was literally ending and they all thought they were gonna die did Rubius finally admit his feelings, shouting his confession and his love for Vegetta at the top of his lungs.
(The real tragedy here is that it was so chaotic with everyone shouting, Vegetta never heard his words…)
Although it’s easy to slap the label “toxic” on Rubius, I think that’s unfair to him and his character, as well as his intentions. He truly does love Vegetta with all his heart, in every universe, and he doesn’t want to hurt him, but Rubius doesn’t want to get hurt either. The Meteor shower conversation gives us a clear understanding of that:
Rubius: I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to get my hopes up, and then get hurt. It's happened to me many times before. Especially here in Karmaland. Vegetta: Have you had lovesickness? Rubius: Yes. In Karmaland, everywhere, in real life... I'm already used to getting beaten. Vegetta: That's a pity... Rubius: I just want someone to take care of me, and that's it. I don't ask for much. Vegetta: I'm very protective.
The way I see it, Rubius is afraid of his feelings for Vegetta, because the larger his love grows, the larger that potential for hurt and disappointment gets. Does this excuse all his actions? No, of course not, however there’s a big difference between doing something out of self-preservation (possibly as a trauma-response, depending on how you interpret his character) and doing something with the intent to hurt someone.
IMO, Rubius isn’t a toxic guy, he just needs therapy.
Vegetta doesn’t get mischaracterized quite as often, though I do feel like people have a tendency to put him on a pedestal and minimize the flaws he has. I’m a massive Vegetta fan, but this guy’s far from perfect. He’s self-centered, borderline narcissistic sometimes, and he’s a very prideful man. He’s never left Rubius at the altar, but he’s still had his fair share of “oopsies” and "yikes" in their relationship. One (which I’m surprised people don’t talk about more) is an incident from Karmaland IV where Vegetta, very unhinged and mentally unstable at the time, kidnapped Rubius’ wife Nieves and threatened her with a sword, saying, “If Rubius can’t be mine, he can’t be anyone’s.”
For the longest time I genuinely thought that line came from a fanfic or something, then I stumbled upon the clip one day and I was just like:
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Anyways
In Karmaland V, Rubius became very close with a little alien child named Titi. He took care of Titi like he was his own son, and despite his attempts at emotionally distancing himself early on so he wouldn’t get attached, Rubius wound up caring a lot for him.
Then Titi died.
It was basically Rubius’ worst nightmare come to life – he’d let himself get close to Titi, he’d loved him unconditionally and let Titi into his heart, and Titi’s death utterly destroyed him. Everyone in Karmaland was affected by the death, but Rubius took it especially hard because of how close they were. Rubius was hurting badly and resorting to terrible coping strategies to deal with the pain, and Vegetta…
Well. Vegetta wasn’t very nice about it.
There are a lot of ways we could interpret Vegetta’s actions and words during this time – maybe he’s not super sensitive when talking about death since he’s probably some kind of demigod, maybe he speedran the grieving process, maybe he thought brutal honesty and direct action would help Rubius “snap out of it” sooner. However you see it, ultimately it did a lot more harm than good for Rubius’ overall mental health.
I bring these examples up not to paint their relationship as toxic or negative, but rather to express just how complex it is. Because, despite all their mistakes and drama and heartbreak, at the end of the day, Rubius and Vegetta still love each other more than anything else. Even towards the end of Karmaland V when they were quite literally on opposite sides of the battlefield (one supporting Quackity, the other supporting Luzu), their true loyalties lay with one another. When Rubius was hit by an enemy, Vegetta defended him with his life, and when Vegetta was hurt, Rubius did the same.
Yes, Rubius doesn't really know how to handle healthy relationships, and yes, Vegetta tends to forgive him too easily, but that doesn't erase the love they have. The key we need to remember here is that Rubegetta is a telenovela that sits squarely in the romcom category. They may wander into other genres and tropes from time to time, but they will always gravitate back to one another. Whether you define that as fate or soulmates or just sheer dumb luck, the facts remain and the love is there.
PHEW anyways that felt good to get out, I have so many thoughts on Rubegetta so I appreciate the excuse to rant. I'm always happy to chat about these two! :D And you're so right - Vegetta is so smitten for that demon, I hope he gets to meet the angel too. I hope Rubius comes back soon so Vegetta can see his Osito Fiu Fiu, but in the meantime, we'll have to keep wishing and praying just like Vegetta...
(ALSO THANK YOU the current chapter of that dang Rubegetta fic is kicking my butt rn because it's the only chapter I didn't outline and life events keep interrupting me when I try and work on it, but it IS getting chipped away at bit by bit! I hope folks enjoy the outcome when it's released :D)
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cowardlybean · 6 months
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Hey. The Times They Are A Changin’ by @bandtrees and @tigsbitties amiright (muffled face down on the floor)
more (some unsettling things) beneath the cut :3
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(Image 3 is my favorite sequence from an animation for TTTAAAC I’ve been working on, so here it is just in case I never finish </3, image 4 is me thinking about Mob’s house. If. That makes sense.)
OH MAN. OH MAN OH MAN. this fic has altered my brain chemistry in a way that has doctors baffled and leaves tragedy in its wake!!!!!!!!! Absolutely a masterpiece I’ve reread it 3 times now and every time I notice a new detail, there’s just SO MUCH CARE put into it. I think I could write an essay about every page of this fic LMAO it honestly blows me away, huge kudos to everyone who was a part of the project!!!!
Especially the multimedia aspects, they were so much fun to find and in some cases decode (Scared the SHIT outta myself with Breathe I think it’s one of my favorites). the youtube videos were so cool as well
Realizing a third of the way in that things will never get better was such a gut wrenching experience, and by the time I realized just how deep the hole Mob dug himself into was it was absolutely too late for anything to happen (the end of act 1 was horrific in the most amazing way. So many things stuck with me: the state Reigen was left in compared to how he was, Ritsu’s “surgery”, Dimple losing his best friend, Shou’s report to the police, Minori’s conversation (if you can call it that) with Mob?? Bone. Chilling.
One of the parts that has been sitting in my gut is Reigen’s fall, where he starts to ramble through fragments of old times. I genuinely thought he was calling out to Mob until just as the same time Mob did I recognized the words and it hit me like a HAMMER. I don’t know how to put it into words but Reigen rambling on like a broken record tore me apart, and then it gets WORSE. I only realized on my second read that the intro of the fic. (Correct me if I’m wrong) IS REIGENS PERSPECTIVE OF MOB SEVERING HIS TENDONS???? Holy fuck. Holy FUCK. The vague semblance of consciousness written there is so deeply unsettling I’m absolutely OBSESSED with it. ESPECIALLY THE FACT THAT EVEN IN THAT STATE HE STILL WANTS MOB TO BE HAPPY (the cheer ^^ mob bit) and idk if I’m interpreting right (this is gonna be so embarrassing if I’m not) but him recognizing the filthy jacket as well. Taking me OUT. AND. AND THE FACT REIGEN NEVER SPEAKS AGAIN AFTER THAT?????? (I could be wrong oops)
The mental states of every character in the fic are written so chillingly well. I can understand how Mob spirals, the anger and grief Tome feels, Shou's spite and anger, Teruki's conflict, Dimple's loss of his best friend, Serizawa's waning optimism, I can't name every character in this fic but they are ALL characterized so well. There's no needless conflict that make them OOC, there's a reason behind every little tragedy building upon themselves and creating a giant disaster that deeply affects the entire cast. Not to mention how its not just the loss of Reigen and Ritsu, but the loss of Mob too. If they were to have died on impact, its unsettling to think that things may have turned out better than this.
There’s a lot of things I wanna say that would basically be restating the fic (dimple losing his best friend, teru shaving, and the irony of ritsu’s powers being taken away by mob) so instead of writing 20 more paragraphs I’ll ask some questions I’ve been mulling over (ofc yall don’t have to answer if it’s revealing too much or smth)
Does Mob actually end up getting investigated or arrested? The formatting of the social media posts and texts makes them seem as if they're evidence and so does the ongoing "interview?" with Shou throughout the fic
In the party, is Reigen saying he doesn't like citrus a reference to the lemon sour :eyes:
I'm probably missing something but im curious about the metaphor around Reigen and a stray cat (hair clinging to Mob's clothes, comparing him to a stray cat finding a place to die, comparing him to a cat outside Serizawa's door)
If I'm not wrong and the "glitchy" sections at the beginning and end of the fic are Reigen and Ritsu's povs respectively, is their mind constantly like that or is it just in the specific circumstances where they have a small burst of consciousness?
last (thats a lie im definitely drawing more fanart in the future) but not least, some notes from when I was re-reading
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sandrayofsun · 7 months
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What Just Happened Pt. 1
Episode 9 of only friends is THAT BITCH!!!!!!!
I don't know if I can fit everything I want into one post but we're going to try. I'll go scene by scene and insert my thoughts and reactions, as always, all opinions are valid, this is just mine!
Also I didn't screenshot everything because I'm lazy, but I got what I thought was most important (hehe)
Let's begin!
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Starting off with Ray going to talk to Sand to clear things up after everything that went down at the party and Sand looking at him LIKE THIS^^ had my jaw on the floor and my nerves quaking
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This whole conversation was tension filled from the moment that Ray walked into that music room. As much as people try to analyze Ray's and Sand's motivations, I'm a simple girl at heart, and I was honestly just kicking my feet and squealing because I live for angsty romance. The distance between them, the simmering anger, the love that bubbles underneath it all IS TOO MUCH FOR ME!!!!
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I loved Sand's sarcasm, and the honestly it was a little out of pocket for Ray to go to Sand after everything and say that he "thinks" he understands his feelings more now. I too would've been like ok and???
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This part had me in shambles because LOOK AT SAND'S FACE! The man he loves is a total dipshit but also the cutest thing alive (Khaotung privilege is real).
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LOOK AT SAND WHEN RAY SHOVES HIM!!! I let out an actual scream because wtf was this like they have such insane chemistry I could feel it in my feet. Pushing each other away, but also not being able to stay away from each other. POETIC.
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This was so chef's kiss I can't even begin to explain it. Like this is literally what people write about in books, being so desperate for someone that you kiss like you'll never get to kiss them again. I had to rewatch this like 18 times to get it through my head. (clearly because I've never had this LMAO)
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This was then OBVIOUSLY interrupted because in what universe are they not interrupted lol. I will however say that I slightly agree with Top here because Mew and Ray haven't at all communicated on where they stand, but also it's implied that they're "together."
Overall this was an angry, desperate, HOT and important make-out for everyone involved.
moving on!
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Sand and Nick's Bestie Getaway was honestly one of the highlights of this episode for me. I think a big part of the plot of this show is how all of these "friends" are not actually very good friends to each other. So it is really heartwarming to see a healthy friendship between these two.
I honestly laughed a lot, and I like they're not part of the main friend group because it creates a good comparison.
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(I'm treating everything in this part as "one scene")
I loved seeing Sand once again put his foot down. He is having fun with this bestie and he doesn't want to see Ray. TBH it was also just funny watching Ray get shut down but also get incredibly determined to find and see Sand.
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This whole part made me laugh hahahah The face Ray makes when Sand hangs up on his is priceless.
We can only upload 30 images at a time, so part two is (here)
Bye!!
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carlos-in-glasses · 10 months
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Fic Rec Friday Fun
Thank you for the tag @irispurpurea @reyesstrand @rosedavid @strandnreyes @iboatedhere @chicgeekgirl89 @catanisspicy - you're all so fantastic and I need to catch up on the ones in your lists I haven't read yet! A treat for me 🥰
So wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words
For me the above means it would only be split between two fics and then a third for least words, so I'm going for the next-most for comments and bookmarks.
Most Hits: When Soulmates Swim - Sparks and splashes fly when TK and Carlos each take up swimming while they recover from workplace injuries. I'm going to go ahead and say this is probably the funniest fic I've written based on feedback! There's angst of course but also TK and Carlos bring out each other's fun side and I'm so happy with it because of that.
Most Kudos: Chasers - A 3x13 coda. While TK is alone with Cooper, Carlos is alone with his thoughts. Both recall times they’ve chased the next high, other men, or each other. When Carlos arrives home, TK still has something important to say – and it's something he didn’t tell Cooper. I'm amazed and so grateful for the love on this one-shot. I loved delving into their backstories and featuring Alex who, fun fact, is based on my ex-boyfriend lol. Not me mining my most painful memories and emotions for content! ANYWAY this Cooper is in my current WIP so he'll be back soon...! Also Carlos goes for a swim and it's where the idea for the gym pool in When Soulmates Swim originated.
Most Comments: The Heart Behind the Shield - Bad Call (2x08) meets Abandoned (4x04) when TK and Carlos attempt to understand what they’ve been through and realize certain old wounds are bleeding into the new. They have both been held captive, faced death, made it home. Secrets, moods, hot messes – they love each other more every day. And they both still need their parents. I'd wanted to write a 2x08 coda for ages but couldn't figure out my angle until 4x04 came along with such blessed parallels. Like Chasers this also goes into backstory and I'm really happy with how those parts came out. Also just want to say that this has a particular scene between Carlos and Gabriel, which I'm very glad I wrote given what happens in 4x17.
Most Bookmarks: The Ruins of Wonderland - A divergence/re-imagining of Carlos and TK getting back together after their breakup. The severe winter storm doesn’t happen as forecast and Austin receives a manageable snowfall – without TK plunging into a frozen lake. Nancy’s 126 hang goes ahead. TK attends, but so does Carlos… This wasn't the first story I wrote/posted, but it's the first idea for a Tarlos fic I had and I have such a soft-spot for it. Important features: bed-breaking sex, slipper socks and a giant pretzel.
Most Words: When Soulmates Swim - 53k. The next is The Heart Behind the Shield at 34.4k. My longest one-shot is Man to Man at 14.6k.
Least Words: The Light of Our Life - 2.4k. After an awkward conversation, Carlos buys TK a bearded dragon and fears it may be a parting gift (Coda for 4x12). I took a long lunchbreak, wrote this, and posted it the same day. I've never done that before or since, and I honestly don't understand what happened to me...
I'm a little late for this so apologies if you've already done it and I haven't seen, but if not and you want to share, I'm tagging: @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet @paperstorm @goodways @bonheur-cafe @lightningboltreader @chaotictarlos @theghostofashton @bubblesandroses8 @noxsoulmate @freneticfloetry @taralaurel @never-blooms @ladytessa74 @lemonlyman-dotcom ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
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Mothman's Buffy Rewatch: Season 2, Episodes 5, 6, and 7 "Reptile Boy", "Halloween" and "Lie to Me"
Reptile Boy
Ok I actually watched this episode last week and forgot to write a post about it lol my bad
Anyway Buffy and Cordelia get drugged! Horrifying!
Damn Giles let Buffy have fun she's fucking 17 and facing death every day
Kind of love Cordelia and Buffy sort of starting a friendship
Is the snake like. A metaphor for dick. Like the club is dangerous because you'll get drugged and then men will take advantage of you with the "snake"?
Especially since its university age men trying to date high schoolers like freaks
And then there's the guy who told buffy not to talk to the snake because she's a woman and then gets the shit beat out of him get fucked shitidiot
I wish he died horribly <3 misogyny is punishable by death if you're a fictional character in my book tbh
Damn they've really been sacrificing women for centuries, i originally thought this was a newer group due to the lack of old people
Halloween
Xander is such a loser lol at least tell Buffy thank you for saving you from getting the lights beat out of him
Cordelia and Angel interactions are so funny to me 😭😭
Honestly I really feel Willow when she feels uncomfortable in revealing clothing. I want to be, but it's hard
Yo Oz and Willow first conversation
Noooo the poor old lady 😭 at least she's fine
Princess Buffy is so silly but kind of annoying and Army Xander is better than real Xander if I'm being honest
I think princess buffy should've had a moment where she accidentally hurt someone or broke something and was surprised and confused because she's just a weak woman (in her words) and she doesn't know she's the slayer
Honestly seeing Buffy like this makes me insanely uncomfortable and I don't know why? I'm just not used to it ig
ETHAN THE GUY GILES HAS BEEF WITH I FORGOT ABOUT HIM
GILES JUST FUCKING PUNCHES HIM I LOVE IT
"Hi honey, I'm home :)" iconic but it also made me think of the song "Honey I'm Home"
Beat his ass Buffy! I love to hate Spike
Oz already being infatuated with Willow is so cute
Tbh I think this was a really cool episode concept in general
Lie to Me
Damn this kid knows stranger danger. Almost wasn't enough to save him though rare Angel W
I kind of love Drusilla she's so
Every time Cordelia opens her mouth in class I become violent
Oh Buffy long lost friend? He's gonna be evil for sure
FORD F-150
Xander and Angel both being threatened by a man who knows Buffy, get a life
Lmfao the lonely ones
"Ours is a forbidden love." Lmfao
Spike possessive moment. I do appreciate when he realizes he's hurt drusilla he apologizes, good boyfriend I guess
Ah man fuck Ford <3 I hope he dies
"I don't deserve to die" yes you do <3
Ain't no way he's calling Buffy out because she didn't know he has a terminal illness when he's about to commit MASS MURDER 😭
Buffy don't apologize he sucks
God everything about this man pisses me off more than the average Buffy villain of the week
I love how much Spike actually cares about Dru
"Uh. Where's the doorknob" his tone was so funny to me
Lol get fucked Ford
NOOO HE DOESNT DESERVE FLOWERS
WAIT THEY ACTUALLY TURNED FORD LMFAO
Ok I understand hes afraid and he has a horrible illness and it's complicated and whatever it's just Everything about him pisses me off so much and I refuse to feel sympathy. Idk it's interesting what horrible circumstances leads people to due though, I think this episode has a lot to think about I'm just a hater
"Lie to me." "Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guy are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everyone loves happily ever after." I'm fucking sobbing this line gets me so hard
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channel-01-clown · 4 months
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☆ INTRO POST!
☆ Hello!!! My name is Gwynplaine. I draw and write but I honestly mostly just use this account to shitpost and dump my thoughts, I'm on ig as 47clowner where I share my art (tho I haven't posted there in a while lol) so also follow me there :))
☆ I am a convert roman catholic from Pakistan, I'm pashto and also part afghan. I'm also chronically ill and queer so please be respectful !!!
☆ These are my current interests in no particular order, the ones that are colored are my fixations;
Most horror (ESPECIALLY TCM!!!)
I have no mouth and I must scream
DC (especially batman!!!)
FAITH: the unholy trinity
Resident evil
X-men
saw
The cabinet of Dr. Caligari
Fight club
Better call saul/ Breaking bad
Mortal kombat
The man who laughs
Neon genesis evangelion
TMNT (I'm a little biased to the 2012 one bc it's the one I grew up with but i love all versions the same!!!)
Death note
Grand Theft Auto
☆If you have the same interests then please please please interact I would love to be mutuals !!!!!
☆ DNI: basic criteria, (ableist, racist, etc) proship, zionist, have anything portraying the devil in a positive light on your account or view the devil in any positive light or just like... disrespect Christianity on purpose on ur account, NSFW account, map or zoo
☆ Boundaries: don't sexualise me or my family in conversation (ur mom jokes excluded I'm fine w those ig), don't try to debate me on my religion or make fun of it, don't be passive aggressive for no reason and please just be direct with your emotions and boundaries, if I tell you I need space then respect that, if I'm uncomfortable answering something don't press further on it, if we're friends and I'm being affectionate towards you and it makes you uncomfortable then tell me, but please don't make fun of me for it, I'm always okay with listening to people vent however I'd appreciate if you asked first, I'm NOT open to debating my identity.
☆ BYI : I sometimes struggle with understanding boundaries, so please be clear on them and establish them firmly and if I disrespect them then tell me as I don't do it on purpose but I just. genuinely don't get it sometimes, I do talk alot so if it gets draining for you then lmk ofc and yeah if I ever do something you don't like then plsplspls just tell me, if I go a while without responding I'm likely just either drained or forgot, which I'm sorry for and I'll try to tell ppl more when it happens but also if I do tell you then pls don't try to text me till I tell you I'm feeling better or I interact first as it can be very overwhelming for me, I can be a bit awkward but if u want u can always dm me!!!!
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bluesey-182 · 5 months
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this review for the ballad of songbirds and snakes is going to be critical so if you loved this book and don't want to see that critique then you are welcome to skip this post. im willing to have civil conversation and im also very willing to hear other points of views bc i love discussing books (and who knows! maybe someone could change my mind) BUT if you're at all going to be nasty and/or take it personally, then you will likely be blocked.
im gonna be so honest... the ballad of songbirds and snakes was a decent book. but. i don't think it actually added anything to the overall story. it added some perspective, maybe, to how snow became snow but it also felt... pointless? i think if I'm going to get a villain origin story, i want it to make me feel conflicted, or at least somewhat understanding to how the villain turned out that way. i want it to show me the gray area. but this book just... didn't do it for me. none of it was surprising. and also, from the beginning, i didn't overall care that much to know what made him this way, because the end result was still the same, and nothing happened to change that feeling for me. bc the only way snow was interesting was how he was as the villain. there was nothing beyond that to interest me, and i think that's what this book was trying to use as the draw. and moreover, to expand on my opinion that it didn't add to the series: i think it relied solely on easter eggs from the original trilogy to make you think it was adding anything. like "see, look at this reference i made! doesn't it remind you of the original books?" idk. like i said, it's a DECENT book on it's own. the writing is good, the story itself isn't bad--it just also gives you no reason to invest in the main character, and i think to some degree that's something that's supposed to draw you into a book. and like i mentioned, nothing surprised me. i saw all of it coming. i predicted every twist before it happened. which isn't always a bad thing! but i was also mostly underwhelmed when the twists DID happen. i was hesitant to read this book in the first place, hence why im only reading it now after the movie release bc my partner wants to see it, and honestly? im not feeling like i gained anything from the experience. i had fun reading it bc, again, it's written fairly well, but at the end of it, im just feeling.... meh.
(spoilers ahead in this paragraph only) i at first thought the only thing it added was why snow dislikes the mockingjays but the more i consider it, it didn't really even add that much either. he was just creeped out by them??? hmm.... (unless, and this might be reaching, he hated the mockingjays bc they showed him his true feelings about lucy??? there's a line about how he was getting tired of her music and maybe the fact that the mockingjays repeated music instead of voice, like the jabberjays (which he had no problem with) was like... his true feelings coming through? I'll have to sit with that and see what i think)
i will say, the parallels between characters in this book and the original trilogy are interesting and i will enjoy seeing those analyses but, again, i don't really feel like it added anything. i still think snow would have done the exact same things without them. because he never ACTUALLY cared about anyone at all, except for how he could use them. how they made him look.
if anyone is interested in a star rating, i gave it 3/5 bc the reading experience was relatively enjoyable, and the writing itself was good imo, and as a stand alone story it was not bad but also not excellent. it was all "just okay". and im trying to rate this as it's own story, not as part of of the whole. however, it being part of that whole is what makes me feel so let down
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panzershrike-pretz · 5 months
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Hey guys, i'm trying to get back into writing!
For now i don't really have anything in mind, but seeing as Peggy made some success in this post, i decided to start with just a translation of one of Peggy's other dumbasseries :D
Please enjoy! Or don't, who am i to say?
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Peggy sat down beside her owner, looking up with some curiosity as her and the other people talked. She could only make up some of the words being said and, honestly, couldn't care less for it. She heard stuff she knew here and there, but the conversation didn't seem to include her, so she could only watch.
Her eyes drifted from her owners face to the child in front of them. She could smell his fear as he panicked about something to do with a Francesca lady. Pegs didn't care a single bit as she layed down.
"Oh... oh no! Oh no, i'm talking to much!", the kid said, covering his mouth with his hands as if it would make his words disappear. "Francesca is gonna kill me!"
"Chill out, Peet" Peggy's owner said and the dogs ears turned a bit at the sound of her voice. Pangy smiled sweetly, playing the childs game - she could only guess what he was trying to fool with that talk of Francesca being from the past or she inviting him to go with her to a safe place, inside a cabinet. It could only be his imagination, right?
Her smile didn't work. He seemed to shiver in fear, eyes darting to the men surrounding rhe woman. Could he run? Maybe he should run.
Peggy huffed, rolling her eyes. Maybe we could've stayed in bed today, she tought, feeling a nudge in her butt and turning her head. It was Dennis, Collins' more serious and not-fun brother.
He looked around as if to make sure no one was watching before getting down to her level and offering some crackers. She felt her tail wagging and violently hitting Dean's leg.
Maybe it was some kind of peace offering? He'd been a pain in her ass since his brothers passing - or, better yet, a pain in everyone's ass. Either way, Peggy happily took her snacks.
She didn't pay attention when a women walked out of the cafe's door, placing her hands on Peet's shoulder. It calmed him down instantly.
"You must be Francesca, right?", Pangy asked. It was the same woman that gave her cake and water about an hour ago. She wasn't really talkative, it seemed. "Peet talked about you".
Her face didn't change and they quickly caught up that she couldn't understand their language. The woman simply smiled politely, while a cat who sat at her shoulders glared with death eyes at 'em.
The feline didn't seem to noticed Peggy as it jumped down to inspect her visitors. That was a critical error on it's part.
Peggy jumped up immediately, her tail wagging more than ever as she chomped don the cat's head, fitting it whole in her own mouth. She didn't even gave it a chance to react, which left the feline confused for a good second before hissing and swating at her.
"PIA!", Francesca yelled, concerned for the cat who managed to release itself from the grasp and jumped on the table, it's fur up and ears pinned back.
Peggy barked as she put her front paws on the table, refusing to heed her owners order to "sit" or "stay down" or "PEGGY FUCK OFF!".
She tried to grab it's tail, but only got a few good punches in the face and a scratch in the nose - that finally made her back down, confused. Aren't you friend? What a strange dog! So small and feisty!
"Gods, Peggy, get off the cat's face!", her owner spat, trying to pull her off by the collar with the help of Dennis. The dog sat again, still extremely curious.
Pia the cat started calming down only a bit, her tail swinging and howling at the dog. She was almost certain she could claw the dogs eyes out if she really tried.
Not friend?, Peggy turned her head a bit, still happy. She wasn't even bothered as her owner made a quick check up on the scratch. Mom, I wanna see the angry tiny dog!
Pangy couldn't stop muttering sorry apologies to Francesca - not that she could understand, but she most certainly felt the womans guilt for the situation.
Pia finally sat down, looking down at Peggy. Who did that ugly dog think she was to bite the head of such a princess? Pia would've sent her to the guillotine if she could.
The cat started to clean herself up, when suddenly she felt hands around her picking her up.
The man, Nigel, had a flirty smile as he handed Francesca the cat as if it was a flower bouquet. Pia was having a terrible day.
"I think this is yours, pretty~", Nigel said, winking at Franzie. She could not care less to his advances, simply taking her kitty out of his hands with a simple "thanks".
"Yeah, Nigel, she wants you to fuck off!" someone else said, giggling to himself.
"FUCK YOU, DEAN!", the man turned at him, almost growling, then stormed off in defeat.
Peggy licked her nose, looking around as Francesca pulled Peet from his chair by the arm, simply tired of dealing with that. In a moment, the three simply disappearing in the crowd that took the street.
Well, that was fun! She tought, without notincing the ooks of annoyance she was receiving from the soldiers. She managed to single handedly (pawdedly?) embarass everyone in front of Peet and Franzie.
"Sometimes I think that if she wasn't a good rescue dog, she'd be left behind", Dennis whispered, narrowing his eyes at her.
Peggy wagged her tail.
Rescue? Who am I rescuing? Will we go after Collins then?
____________________________________
I hope y'all like my silly dumb dog! :]
That was all I have for now, though I could translate more of her dumb adventures.
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f0point5 · 6 months
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I loved this new part! All of it 🧡
But most of all: I. Love. Lando. He's truly is the MVP in this story.
Can we talk about him always nagging both y/n and Max about Elliot and how they're blind with each other and how they should DO sth and just being the best friend ever?! I think it can be hard being a good friend to y/n and Max both when they are sharing secrets with you, asking for advice, being them, and he's trying to handle this and help them out and still tries to push them a little every time. He's THE best, honestly. And he gives me a good laugh all the time. His reaction to Max saying his plan is to win the race was golden! Like there's no room for interpretation lol. I love your characterization of Lando!
I also love Max's messages to Lando! His texting slightly differs depending on who he's writing to, but with Lando it's never not fun to read. It cracks me up every time how Max's always asking for context, but when he's texting someone most of the times he's not giving context either. Especially with problems.. straight to the point, yk what I'm talking about come on lol.
I have no doubt whatsoever that Max was indeed talking about the race atp. However, he also did exactly understand what Lando was talking about with his interpretation of the words. And I absolutely loved Landos interpretation and his reaction!
Elliot is... something! Seriously who does he think he is? And what exactly does he think he's getting out of behaving like a first class jackass? He didn't even hook up with y/n yet, she's not his girlfriend, and he goes all jealous on her. With all the drama he's already caused, he should be happy she's still giving him her time of the day.
He goes all wrong about this whole thing. I thought he'd understood by now that she's extremely close to Max. And that he won't change that by nagging her about it or by trying to do with her what she does with Max. He's bringing Max up all the time. Like dude, chill. If he really wanted this "relationship" to go somewhere, he should write his own story with her, instead of doodling in-between the lines of Max's and hers.
When I first read that he's coming to COTA, I hated the thought. But him crossing those lines to her F1 world can't possibly be a good thing for them. I'm smelling drama. And I can't wait for next weekend 🤣
Her reactions to his texts and the whole thing were gold though. I do think she's way too patient and lenient with him, with all the drama he's bringing on. And I honestly can't believe she's seeing it go anywhere. Looking from the outside it feels like she knows exactly that's it's never gonna end well. But anyways, I like her getting straight to the point, telling him he can't possibly teach her more or better than Max did, and I love that for her!! Like when he brings up Max all the time, she doesn't try to deflect and assure him or whatever, she brings Max into the conversation even more so. You go, girl! Protect the important relationship you actually do have!
And her commenting on the padel post... and even more so the cat story!! She has to know that Elliot sees those things, doesn't she? Atp it feels like she's actually provoking him. I hated it when he told her to change her behavior and I was rather surprised when she let him off the hook for that. But girl, does she serve those days. She sure as hell won't let him tell her what to do!
Lando is indeed the MVP. When I’m writing or even watching something, I always fall in love with slightly eccentric male friend and it is Lando in this fic lol. He’s out here just trying to survive because this is the TRENCHES. How is a man supposed to get a race win with these oof track antics cooking for real.
Max and Lando are a chaotic duo. I almost want them to have some kind of Hangover-Esque disaster in Vegas lol or a road trip at the beginning of a DTS episode. They’re just too funny.
There’s…several interpretations of what Max was saying but all I will say is that Max will be trying to win the car race because that’s what Max does.
Elliot was for sure acting like a douche. But tbf to him I don’t think he was saying that because he doesn’t understand she’s close to Max. Just..men like to feel useful, they like to feel like they’re teaching you something. And he saw she didn’t pick up padel quickly and that she maybe would like to get better and he is already a good player so he took a flirty shot. Once it didn’t land he should have dropped it but nobody’s perfect.
I don’t think she’s that lenient with him. At the end of the day yes she puts up with his out of pocket comments but she’s made it clear she will not adjust one single thing in her life for him now or probably ever…I feel like the least she can do is maybe look the other way when he occasionally trips up over it. I don’t think she treats Elliot badly but I do think she treats him a little bit like a tiny handbag (cute to have around, but it’s not like you’re going to put anything important in it and it’s the first thing you’ll sacrifice for practicality). I feel like for a guy like Elliot, that’s got to sting, so I understand him trying to take more of a place in her life.
Similarly, I don’t think she’s provoking Elliot. You know what they say, your greatest fear is not that the universe is against you, but that the universe is indifferent…
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blurryfangirlansuke · 10 months
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Undescribed Pt 2
Duke grabs the leftover paper that hasn't been used to drawn and hums to himself while letting the pencil doing it's work. Once he was satisfied he hands the paper to sona.
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Sona was feeling down from being lonely and having not so much notes whenever she posted maybe she wasn't trying hard enough maybe her drawing the same thing is making others bored what if she's not good enough. The truth is she needs to get that negativity out of her system and look the bright side of things. Very important message that Duke writes for her .
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Sona done some stuff in the past that wasn't the greatest but she's still learning as an artists to do better and not let criticism or hatred take over. She looks more into the note .
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One message not just to sona but to people and artists who need something like this. Duke maybe a bad influence and evil but he does has his sweet moments whenever someone needs a shoulder to cry on besides trying to sleep around .
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Duke being smug looks back at Sona as she stays still the tears down her eyes. No one is not perfect we attend to screw up sometimes but it's part of learning also who's the tallest and handsome vamp of all Duke point out .
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Duke press his hand caressing Sona's hair messy but still a sign of comfort closing her eyes feeling at ease. No need to pressure yourself or being the best. Just be you and you'll get by this is you're life. Okay I'll do my very best Sona said with a gentle smile
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With the black and grey colors occur from the conversations and tears with emotions color started to show between these two a vampire embracing his care and love to this human girl doing better and making others and herself feel happiness. We can always try again .
Duke: I'm always here for you toots
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Holding hands with each other developing a heart of the trust and understanding they have. They're going to start fun and memorable chapters from art, friends, creators etc.
A lovely happy ending for two or maybe you ~
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Hey ya thank u for taking the time reading my digital comic between my sona and my hubby welp the character that always puts a smile and gives me inspiration Duke from " The Vampair Series ". He has honestly lift my spirits up whenever I'm down or need something to dabble and draw. There's lots of characters I see many artists draw as a comfort or to simp and it's absolutely inspiring because I want Vampair to be popular like Vivziepop animations Series that's how much the series means alot to me. I use to always rely on the numbers of hearts or notes I received having a like or followed by your favorite creators but that's not important what matters is that your doing something that you enjoy doing from the heart and soul and maybe you can inspire others. I hope I can try with the fanworks I draw my some of my characters and creators characters. I've gone alot better and this is meant for fun hell I'll be happy if I get zero notes I'm proud of posting what I love and enjoying simping for spaghetti man.
Thank you all and have a great day or night ❤️ ^^
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benjaminthewolf · 11 months
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I need to have another serious conversation with you guys, this time about unwilling vore and fatal vore
WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF R@PE, MURDER
I am leaving this marked for everyone because I believe that we can be mature enough to have a civil, serious conversation on this topic together, which ultimately, everyone in this community should consider, because this is VERY important.
****
These past couple weeks have just been one thing after the other after the other
First, transitioning into a Keto diet to lose some weight left me with horrible carb-flu for a week (withdrawal of carbs producing flu-like symptoms such as body aches and cramps),
Then I had to wake up at 7:30 and 6 respectively on summer days for high school graduation rehersal and graduation,
I was struggling to hold myself together at graduation because of my school-related trauma,
My brother and dad got into a fight on the way home,
Today I had to go through four and a half hours straight of online college orientation,
And now, finally, once I reached that online orientation's interactive module about sexual misconduct and what exactly rape is, I utterly broke. Because there it was right in my face, a statement that I had already known since I was old enough to understand the concept, yet something which I had never seemed to fully process the implications of when applying it to this community.
"If the sexual activity is done without the active, informed consent of both partners, its rape."
It's no secret that I have indeed written some NSFW stories which have since, thanks to a previous discussion, been properly marked as mature and will be reblogged onto my NSFW blog on a once every Monday schedule, but, it is also no secret that some of those NSFW stories, sexually charged fics, feature unwilling vore.
Or, to state it more bluntly, per the definition above, they feature rape. I have willingly written rape, read over the rape multiple times, thoroughly enjoying it, and have put it out for the world to see. Especially considering that these stories were available to everyone including minors for quite some time, I cannot see how this is anything other than abhorrent. I was taking enjoyment from the sexual abuse I was writing into existence, and I feel utterly sick.
It seems to me now that "unwilling vore", particularly in the NSFW vore community, is simply a way of saying "rape" that makes it less taboo and more acceptable to talk about and create content for. It's become so normalized now, that I could not find a single post in the "unwilling vore" tag that was having this discussion when I searched for it. Instead it was all posts glorifying the concept, which ultimately, in an NSFW context, is rape. Period.
This can also extend to fatal vore and how I so enjoyed writing and reading about acidic murders. It's murder. Full stop. Especially in an NSFW context, I should not be enjoying such a concept.
But I do.
And honestly, I'm not entirely sure that removing the NSFW context makes it okay either. It may not be sexual, and thus won't constitute as rape, but just think about how paralyzingly traumatic the experience would be to an unwilling prey...and for fatal vore, it is most certainly still murder! Why am I normalizing and glorifying this kind of stuff? Why?
What the hell have I been doing for these past few years? Why have I loved and enjoyed so deeply this concept and this community which encompasses such abhorrent actions and not only normalizes them but turns them into hot fun time fics?
I have no idea anymore, and I have tipple the no idea of how I was able to last like this for so long without any sort of justification to speak of. Was I just suppressing what I already knew because I was scared to face reality? Honestly, I think that might be it.
I'm sorry, I'm just rambling at this point but I honestly have no idea anymore. I just feel awful, that's the bottom line. Rape and murder, in stories that are sexual. That is what I have created. I am nothing more than an insensitive, uncaring, unsympathetic, immoral, horrific piece of shit who thought for years that this was okay. These things have hurt real people in real life. I feel like I am shitting on their stories and their experiences for each and every single NSFW unwilling vore and fatal vore story I have created. Glorifying, normalizing, and sexualizing the pain, agony, and trauma these real people went through, for nothing more than my own pleasure. How am I not behind bars? (/gen)
-Benjamin
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