#and I'm so glad he has that support system no matter how the situation is

[bonesandthebees]

Hi again Bee.

Thank you for lending an ear to listen even if I just kinda showed up. I really appreciate it. I've actually been reading through some of your other stories and they're very good (I adore the fae works!).

When it comes to Wilbur, I'm just. Very disappointed and upset. Of course I support Shubble and am glad she spoke out, it's very important and I'm glad that it's encouraged others to come forward with their own stories of abuse at the hands of large creators. At the same time though part of me wishes she hadn't said anything, so I could have continued as I was, in blissful ignorance, even if I feel really guilty for thinking like that.

It just saddens me that someone I looked up to so much ended up being this horrible person. It makes me worried that I too am bad, that somehow he has imprinted his awfulness unto me. I used to be horrible too. I like to think I've grown as a person, I was only a kid, but have I? Or was being drawn to Wilbur a sign? Like attracting like?

Y'know, I used to say that my hair style goals were how Wilbur's hair is, and recently I got a haircut. When I took a shower earlier it ended up floofing up in a similar way to his. I don't know how to feel about that. Maybe I should style it differently, even though I like the floof. I don't want to be even a little reminiscent of an abuser.

I am reminiscent of him though, in ways I can't change. I used to feel so seen by him, we're both song writers, and hypochondriacs, and I wanted to be him so badly I would cry. I would cry because he was everything I desperately craved to be as an insecure transmasc, an attractive guy with a beautiful voice and an amazing life. And now he's horrible, and probably always has been, and all of my memories of him are tainted.

I hate that I can't listen to Lovejoy anymore. It feels unfair to the other band members. It isn't their fault Wilbur is awful, and yet I'm taking away a source of their income. I know I'm taking away from Wilbur too, but he's only one person out of the group. Maybe that's just me giving an excuse so that I won't have to stop enjoying their music. It doesn't matter, I can't stomach listening to them anymore anyways.

I keep getting songs from YCGMA stuck in my head. It's like now that I can't listen to it anymore my brain has decided to fuck with me by making me listen to it anyways. I can't even justify listening to that album, that's just Wilbur's music. I was going to cover a song from that album for fun. Now I can't.

Is it bad I still find comfort in Wilbur as a character? C!Tommy is my favorite, but C!Wilbur is almost always a huge part of any C!Tommy story and I love C!Wilbur stories too. I know C! ≠ CC! but I just. It's complicated.

Idek why I'm this upset. I haven't been an avid watcher of anyone in the DSMP in at least over a year. If anything this whole thing has brought me back into the fandom more than I have been in ages. I feel bad about that, but also this situation has introduced me to people like Aimsey, whose content I'm seeing more of and I find myself enjoying.

I've also found more great DSMP fics lately in my quest to binge read them before the mass deletions start. Is it bad to find good things in a bad situation?

I'm sorry for the lack of put togetherness and the length of this ask. I promise I'm usually more coherent and to the point.

-Tech (just call me Tech like a name, "tech anon" feels weird heh)

hey tech, sorry for a bit of a late reply I've been busy the past few days

(sorry about the 'tech anon' thing, it's just a habit since that's how I refer to most of my anons. I'm going to still tag your ask as tech anon though just for my tagging system if that's okay)

I'm so glad you like the fae stories!! I'm still so proud of both of those looking back on them

anyway, yeah, I get that. I get the guilty wish that none of this had ever come out so you could just continue to go on in blissful ignorance. when someone learns something very upsetting, it's only natural to feel like you wish you never learned that. you don't need to feel guilty for that. you're not a bad person for your emotional reactions to things. your actions are what matters.

also, you are in no way a bad person because you were drawn to wilbur's content. the persona wilbur put on for the internet was not representative of who he actually was. you were drawn to the facade. an illusion of the person wilbur could've been, if he actually practiced the things he preached. you said you used to be a bad person, but you've changed. the fact that you are worried at all that you might still be bad shows a level of self-awareness and concern that wilbur apparently did not have. because wilbur was aware he was a bad person and treated the people around him terribly, but he didn't care to try and be better. as long as you're trying to be better, you're already leagues ahead of him.

also, regarding the hair, the floofy fringe is an incredibly common haircut. that is not exclusive to wilbur soot. you do not look like him if your hair does the floof similarly to his, it just makes you look like thousands of other dudes with fluffy fringe.

the day after shelby first streamed I had an MSR song stuck in my head and I hated it so much. it really sucks. you just have to try and drown it out with other music

it's not hypocritical at all to still find comfort in c!wilbur. I know it's complicated, and there's so much discussion I could get into as to why it's so complicated, but we can all separate the guy and the character in our heads. there's no reason to feel guilty about that. and there's also nothing bad about finding good in this situation. I think it's really sweet that you've found so many great fics in this time and I'm so glad you've been getting comfort from them. you're appreciating the authors hard work and that's a good thing! you don't need to feel bad about that

I hope you're doing okay tech

#ask #tech anon #wilbur situation

[luna-misera]

Hi, first of all I'm a big fan of your writing and I hope you're doing well ! I have a bit of an emergency request for you if you don't mind (it's alright if you're not feeling like doing it cause it's kind of a lot, just ignore the ask lmao) also sorry if my English sucks here, I'm kind of a mess and it's not my first language :')

I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed by everything recently (visiting my parents, a lot of papers to fill for healthcare/taxes, prep class assignments, being deadnamed on all my official documents and by my family, having a meltdown) and now to top it off my train to go back home and be able to work has just been cancelled. And of course my parents are having a party this evening and of course everyone is loud as fuck. I probably won't be able to go back home and attend my classes until Monday or Tuesday and it terrifies me. I have so much on my plate rn, I just want copia to hold me and the rest of the world to burst in flames at this point. Long story short, that would be very cool if you could write hcs for how copia would comfort a gn s/o that's in a similar situation :)

take care !!

Hello my little ghoul friend! Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm very glad to hear you like my writing! Also, I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time lately. Personally, I have also felt overwhelmed by everything going on in my own life, so I totally understand what you're going through.

Remember to take care of yourself, and take things one day at a time! Try not to stress about things outside of your control, but focus on what you can accomplish each day! Be proud of how far you've come and what you have already accomplished! I know Papa would be.

Copia Comfort HCs (Copia x GN!Reader)

Warning(s): None

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

• Honestly, when you're stressed Copia is also stressed. He will do whatever he can to help you out, but he worries about you.

• If he can't complete any tasks for you, then he will be there with you every step of the way.

• He makes sure you're eating/drinking, and taking breaks.

• If he can't be by your side, Copia will send you texts throughout the day to check in, offer encouragement, and just to tell you how much he loves you!

• Copia is 100% supportive of your pronouns, and your name change. If you're open to the idea, he will absolutely help kickstart the process of a legal name change so you don't have to see it on official documents. Or he will handle them himself when possible.

• If the problem persists, then he will go to the main office himself to resolve the issue.

• However, when it comes to your own family deliberately dead naming you, then they'll find Copia can be very persuasive.

• He will politely (but firmly) remind them of your preferred name, and explain how deadnaming can be harmful.

• If they refuse to see reason and continue to disrespect you, then he will remove you from that toxic situation immediately.

• Copia is always there to support you with unconditional love and understanding.

• He constantly reminds you that your identity is valid and that you matter.

• He never wants you to feel alone especially when you need him most, and he is always there to be a shoulder to cry on or to listen to you vent.

• Meltdowns happen. That's ok! Copia takes you aside somewhere quiet where you can be alone, and holds you tight while you get it all out of your system.

• He rubs your back and comforts you until you feel better. Then, he asks how he can help you with whatever is stressing you out.

• Sometimes all you need is a hug, and of course he's willing to provide.

• Copia hugs you for as long as you need him to and maybe a little longer... just to be safe.

• He would absolutely burn everything to the ground for you, but maybe start with a warm drink and some cuddles first? Then see how you feel later.

• After that, if you're still hoping for worldwide devastation Copia has you covered.

#ghost fandom #ghost band x reader #ghost band #copia #copia x reader #sfw #hcs #papa emeritus iv #fluff #gn reader

[rayshippouuchiha]

Ray, I am honestly having a rly rough time rn and have no one else to talk to so here I am. My relationship with my mom has always been shaky and lately it’s been getting so much worse. For as long as I can remember she’s done stuff that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think it’s anything big but it happens all the time and has built up. No matter what I do she just doesn’t stop. She tries to force me wear to wear makeup, insists on picking out my clothes on the rare occasion I can leave, yells at me for not wanting to get my hair dyed because it means I’m childish, makes me wear contacts, and basically micromanages every aspect of how I look. She makes me do the most inane stuff for her to “prove I love her” and keeps ordering me around like a dog when my dad is over so he sees how well I listen to her. I am just so tired of her and how she constantly treats me like more of a dress up doll and therapist than a daughter. And we’re having money issues, can’t afford bills and wracking up debt, but she keeps spending money on the stupidest crap and won’t stop yelling at me for not acting like a living person. I don’t go out because I know we can’t afford it, I don’t dye my hair because maintenance would be an additional expense, I hate contacts and my clothes because they don’t feel like they’re mine, and I don’t act like I’m alive because I’ve been depressed for fucking years and haven’t been allowed to take medication because it would “give me autism.” I’m just so tired of it Ray. I really am and I don’t know what to do because all my other options are so much worse. In the morning I’ll probably be embarrassed about actually writing this but I just had like three panic attacks within an hour so ill ignore that for now. Sorry for unloading all this on you at 3:23 am but I rly have no one else rn and I’ve seen some similar asks so it’s probably ok? If it’s not feel free to ignore.

First of all, it's perfectly okay, I'm glad you reached out because it sounds like you really need someone to just hear you. So don't feel embarrassed.

Second of all, what you're describing is a big thing. The kind of micromanaging she's doing to you, the financial issues, the control, all of it is an insidious kind of abuse. It, like many other forms of abuse, also has a tendency to get into your head and make you feel like you're the one in the wrong.

I don't know how old you are and you said that your other options are worse so I'm guessing there's not much in the way of a support system you can reach out to? No one in the family who might be able to step in in some way? Or friends who could provide you a safe place?

The situation is obviously complicated but I want you to know that you're justified to be upset. It's not in your head and it's not your fault. She's wrong to do those kinds of things to you.

You deserve better, you deserve safety and choice over your own body, you deserve comfort.

#RayRambles

[rainbowsky]

groguj23 asked:

Hi Rainbow 🌈 Love your blog.Hope you have good weekend. Have you heard about [redacted]? I came across and they were talking about Born To Fly in their topic . Nothing much about DD but more about the production. Do you think this will effect the international release of the film and DD reputation.🤔 May I ask what is your view on this. 🙏

Hi Groguj23!

Thanks so much for your kind words, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog!

Sorry, I removed the name from your ask because I don't want to advertise those clowns.

No, I don't think any random team of obscure internet pundits can impact DD's film or reputation.

HOWEVER I think it's important for fans to understand that some of the projects GG and DD are involved with, once they have an international release, are going to come under heavy critique from some people (just as projects, ideas and stories from the West are often heavily critiqued in China). These two regions are constantly at odds with each other and often treat each other as their #1 enemy.

There is also a huge amount of Sinophobia in the West, and that will always color how Chinese projects are received.

There is also the fact that many of these projects are propagandistic in nature and present things in a certain light, and/or serve a bigger communications purpose than entertainment alone. There is a political angle, a messaging angle, that we should be conscious of when viewing such projects.

Born to Fly is a perfect example of this, given its subject matter as a military propaganda film. The planes featured in the film are the same ones that have been harassing and threatening Taiwanese airspace for months.

Turtles should be prepared to see this film ripped apart in Western media. It's just the way things are fairly likely to go.

Would that negatively impact DD's reputation or career? I highly doubt it. Those who are savvy to the political situation will understand that DD is operating within a system that is outside his control, and he has a right to star in a film about his country's military just as Tom Cruise has a right to star in that unwatchable dreck, Top Gun Maverick.

Those who aren't savvy are often bigoted or misinformed, and nothing DD or any other Chinese person could do would ever be acceptable to them. Their opinions don't matter.

The main factor likely to impact DD's reputation with most international film-goers is whether the film is any good. Is it fun to watch, does it tell an interesting story, are the characters compelling? Does DD give a good performance, even if all those other elements are weak or lacking, and even if the entire project is politically offensive to Western audiences?

I have faith in DD's talent and commitment, but a film is a team project. If the direction is bad, if the script is bad, if the production is bad, no amount of talent or skill on DD's part will save it.

DD is an actor. Every actor takes risks when choosing projects. Every actor is subject to the whims and interests of audiences. Some reviews will be bad, some will be good. We need to accept that and just support him as best we can.

Turtles need to develop a thick skin and understand that the more famous GG and DD become - the more they are placed in front of broader audiences - the more criticism they will inevitably face. Having one's performances and projects ripped to shreds is just part of being an actor. Everyone should prepare themselves ahead of time, and understand that not everyone is going to love them or love their projects as much as you or I might.

And in this particular case, any criticism will likely be about politics, and will have very little to do with DD as a person or as an actor.

Hopefully the movie will be good and will be well-received. If it's not, don't take it personally or allow yourself to be rattled by it. DD will be just fine. This is just one film among many he will make.

The next one to be released after Born to Fly is One and Only - a film I suspect will be much more accessible/palatable to international audiences. So even if Born to Fly is heavily critiqued internationally (and we don't yet know how that's going to play out so there's no sense worrying about it), any stain on DD will likely be short lived.

I'd also caution fans not to get an inflated sense of the importance of international audiences to DD's career. It's the Chinese audiences that will have the real impact. International audiences for a project like this are miniscule compared to those within China. Chinese audiences are the ones who will be determining DD's success or failure as a film star.

#born to fly #actor dd #your political disengagement is a weapon against you #brotherhood and stuff #ask

[calamitydaze]

hello it's entirely possible i just sent you a near identical ask but i backed out of it too quick to tell if it actually sent so. i'm doing it again:

i'm making a comeback hi mx. daze anyway not to stir the pot but i'm genuinely confused by tommy? like as in i can't tell how much of his joke he actually believed because obviously the rest of his video was an exaggeration but i just. can't tell. mind's all jumbled.

hi! 👋 ^__^ i’m with you on being confused cause this is definitely one incident i didn’t see coming, but after taking a bit to think about it here’s my take:

i don’t think it’s improbable, or even unlikely, that it was meant as satire and tommy didn’t have ill intentions (especially when taken in context with the rest of the video like you said, where everything was exaggerated). but it doesn’t really matter to me tbh because even if it was a joke it’s tone-deaf to the point of cruelty. it would be one thing to poke fun at both sides (making dream overdramatic and quackity stonewalling him, for example) but portraying q as the levelheaded victim while dream is just throwing a tantrum is so disconnected from reality and just….. really out of left field when tommy’s admitted he made fun of dream too much in the past. and really really gross too when you think about tommy’s content with dream’s mom and sister, two of the unambiguously innocent victims of the situation, not to mention how dream looked out for him and stayed on call when tommy was getting doxxed but he doesn’t mind being callous to the same thing when there’s an opportunity for clicks and laughs from his dranti fanbase. really disappointing but i’m just glad dream is showing that he’s not taking it kindly and that he has a support system aside from fairweather friends 🤷‍♀️

#it’s been months why is it so difficult to just let things be #bella answers #flowerxar #negative

[ffion451]

I'm back!

I have a confession to make. I read this the day you posted it, and I've spent the entire time marinating over what I wanted to say.

Do you believe in serendipity? I ask beacuse in a way, I releate to Taehyung so much--in the aspect of having unhealthy aspects in my personality that I did not consider to be bad due to my upbrining.

Recently, I've taken a step back to the point of cutting out my parents from my life for things that have been done to me in an effort to break the toxic cycle, for wanting to be and do better, and the fact that I found this story at the precise time--serendipity, I tell you.

I have to say, the choice you made to end this story makes me feel almost seen! You've taken this character with a very toxic trait and gifted him a chance to find someone who could see those traits for what they are--compartmentalized trauma that he's been desensitized from, and instead of punishing him, you granted him the opportunity to break the chains with the help of a beautiful support system.

Sorry not sorry, but I will not let you deny my awe of you!! This story was so much more. The depth, and the chance of healing, gosh. It feels like spring. Like rebirth. Like Demeter rejoicing at having her daughter back.

Thank you so much for writing this. I'm sorry that this platform seems to only be interested in the usual tropes. But I hope you know that, that does not make your writing any less. On the contrary, I feel like it's superior to most of the stuff I find here, and I want you to know that this story will carry a special place in my heart.

If and when you do decide to come back, I will be here. Sunflowers grow on the side of concrete roads, after all.

Be well. Be happy. And please don't ignore your writing muse, no matter what you decide to do with your talent.

-🌻

Beautiful, lovely 🌻- I’m so glad you finished the story! I have so much to say… Blow by blow reply below the cut - I’m afraid it’s a very lengthy reply - sorry! ☺️

I do believe in serendipity. I don’t think I’ve used the phrase “that’s serendipitous” in any of my stories but irl I say it alarmingly often! I’m so glad you found an aspect of Taehyung that you related to, even if it is for difficult reasons.

My Nana would always say “Nobody is ever just one thing” and its one of the many mantras I try to live by. We’re all made of light and shade and even in the worst, most heinous people there’s a glimmer of something good, kind or likeable in the same way that in the warmest people there can be something dark lurking. I think it’s the best and worst thing about being human - we’re all multi-faceted and as we discover the shape and form of each other we can, by turns, be delighted or repulsed.

Thank you for keeping an open mind about this Taehyung and finding something to like in him. It was super-important to me not to glamourise his choices - I really hope that came across. The decisions he made were wrong, but I hope he’s redeemed because he understands that they were - that’s the crucial thing, because with that I think he can change and heal.

Similarly, the very fact that you say you have “unhealthy aspects” of your personality tells me that you are a good person (as I already suspected) and by that I mean a truly good person: if you weren’t you wouldn’t recognise those things in yourself.

I cannot express how much I admire you; people who see themselves without distortion or fear and can own who they are, those people I think are some of the wisest and most admirable people, and the best people to have by your side.

As I said above, I admire your bravery and from what you’ve said here, you are truly courageous. The choices you’ve made are shattering, splintering ones that fault-line through our lives. It’s a massive decision to do anything like this and I applaud you wholeheartedly for doing so - I imagine it has cost you a lot but you are undoubtedly worth it. I hope you are in a better place and happier situation now, but if you’re still getting there I’m sure it’s just around the corner for you. I want to say well done, but it feels patronising! Instead I’ll just thank you for your honesty and sharing your reality with me, it’s an inspiration ☺️

Thank you for seeing what I was trying to do with this story!

As I read this part I thought to myself, ‘Is 🌻 a writer?’ I suspect you may be. If you’re not, maybe you should try! There’s a poetry and musicality to your expression and I think your soul too - I feel it in my bones when I read your words 😊

Though you may disagree, I think you are too kind in your evaluation of my writing. Ofc my fragile self-esteem longs for recognition etc (I’m only human!) but if I was really forced to choose between being a popular writer or engagement like this, I’d choose this every single time without doubt: the reason I read, the reason I write, is to give expression to all the feelings that swirl inside me and to find those feelings in others. It makes me feel seen, like another candle burning in the darkness. That you for that, thanks for finding my story, reading it and sharing a little of yours with me. I’m so very, very grateful to you.

I’d like to write again, there are so many bloody words in me that want to escape, so many half-formed phrases and images… it’s noisy in my brain! The problem is all these things just circle aimlessly nowadays. It’s ironic given the name of the last fix but there’s no centre, no gravitational pull to hold them together and to give them shape; they’re just words without stories. I hope desperately that the pull comes back and I’ll write again - I find peace in it and even if those little narratives only chime with an handful of people, that’s ok - that’s enough.

In the meantime, I’ll be grateful for what I’ve been given from the lovely kind souls I’ve found here, like your wonderful self. I’ll lurk about for a while, do some reading again maybe (hopefully) and one day write again if the fates are willing.

My inbox is always open, never be a stranger!

Thank you for everything!

Ffi 💛

#lovely readers #🌻💛 #this means the world to me #the centre cannot hold #ffion rambles on #no really I do I ramble and and on and on #sorry about that #writers things

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hello AJ. Shy anon here.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. Your advice was incredibly eye opening. What you said about trade offs made me realize that I was having such a hard time because I was trying to be everywhere and do everything perfectly. And that's not possible. Woh sirf tv serials mein ho sakta hai. Real life mein nahin.

And I didn't really realize this at all about myself until I showed my husband your reply and he explained to me with examples from things we've been through, that I've always been a bit of a perfectionist and I have a really hard time with acknowledging that I can't do everything and everything won't go my way.

I always knew I was a control freak and it's a flaw I've really been trying to work on but the perfectionism really caught me off guard. And I kind of broke down again. But my husband very sweetly explained that the perfectionism has never bothered him because he sees it as me being passionate and caring about the people around me a lot. But he also was like "too much of anything isn't good so I'm hoping to help you to not be so hard on yourself "

I even opened up to my mother in law about all of this and to my surprise she said she hasn't felt abandoned by me at all. Maa told me she's proud that I chose to go back to work for the family and she said she knows how much I love her and how hard it is for me to leave all the housework to her. We also came up with a system like you suggested where we both decided we'll make and have breakfast together before I go to work.

It's still really hard and that itch to do more and be more present at home is still there. And understandably so because I can't exactly just flip a switch. It'll take time to come to terms with all of this. But l followed a lot of the advice you gave me because it was good advice and I'm really glad I reached out to you. You and your mutuals are always so understanding and sweet. Thank you so much for always making me feel so welcome and comfortable.

I'm also feeling incredibly blessed that I have such a loving and supportive family. And since they're so understanding and supportive communication has really been the key.

I'm so sorry for always rambling on so much about my life on your blog. And thank you so much for always reading and replying to my messages.

PS: Judging by just how much I open up and talk here I feel like the name shy anon no longer suits me. Perhaps it's time to reveal my actual name to you?

Bye 🥰

Dearest Shy Anon!

I am so happy for you! Actually now the name Shy Anon itself means so much ☺️ sometimes a good conversations resolves the most complicated situations 🫂

I am trying to understand the world a little bit every day and I’m glad I could be of help :) actually sab kuch karna tv shows main bhi nahi hota.

Most the issues our characters face because they do want to do everything and that’s impossible.

Happiness comes with prioritizing because perfection is truly a myth. And perfection doesn’t allow collaboration, does not allow teamwork to happen. And a family sustains on collaboration 😊

Trust me I empathize on doing everything perfectly and more than often my good friends have gently told me that that perhaps causes more harm than good 🫂

I am glad to always hear from you. In a way it’s such a sweet thing for my blog is a sweet documentation of the beautiful events of your life! I got to know you, you got proposed, married!, moved to a new city, but adjustment issues and resolution! It feels emotional 🥹

Lots of love to you, you have this beautiful way of conveying about your life without burdening me. It’s reminiscent of having a cup of chai in the evening with a neighbour and sharing sukh-dukh ki baatein. You share your life in a way of sharing company, not as a ramble where you’re ignorant of the other person and I think that matters the most 🫂

We all love having you around!

Much love,

- AJ

#ask #shy anon #my two jalebis #jalebi advises #I’m so happy for you

[ancient-mystical-features]

good-ish stuff e-journal series

February 15, 2022

SHE'S BACK ON TRACK BAYBEY

got a little distracted from cleaning but I MADE SOMETHING REALLY COOL A few months ago, I made a care stash for my friend with things that could fit in a tiny envelope (stickers, washi tape samples, tiny buttons, you name it). Today, while cleaning, I wanted to redo the envelope so I started by decorating the back and thought about entertaining the idea of experimentation with my wax melts. They're not made for sealing envelopes but it was for the lamp that heats scented wax that my parents bought one time (that they handed to me because my dad couldn't stand the smell). It broke a few years ago but I still had the dish so I put it on top of my tin candle and melted the wax and poured it in with a tiny segment of the dried flowers that my sister was about to throw away the other day. At first I thought it was gonna be a mistake because it flowed like water so a small portion of the envelope got wet which got me worried that it was gonna leak inside. And then it started drying and it looked really pretty. I want one of those wax sets but I'd never buy one because I don't do these enough for me to fully utilize one. Besides, I found a way to do it while utilizing stuff I haven't used in a while.

⭐

March 2, 2022

I made an abomination.

I don't trust myself to cook for others. For myself though? I'll make that exception. At least I don't have to watch people force themselves to eat it, or not eat it at all. I rarely waste food, so as long as it's edible and bearable, whatever abomination I create, I eat.

This is my first time cooking for a meal. I usually cook for snacks with instant pasta and noodles. I don't cook, my Mom and sister usually does that, while I do the dishes or other chores that doesn't risk salmonella.

I saw the fried fish on our table at almost 2PM. I hadn't eaten lunch at this point yet for no reason. I wanted something more so I decided to prepare the fish for the culinary session of its lifetime. Butter. Rice. Bagoong. Vinegar. Knorr Seasoning. Combine together and pretend you know what you're doing. No recipe, no experience beyond instant noodles and cooking rice with the rice cooker. Just the comfort that nobody is watching.

I'll be 18 soon (not that it matters since we all age everyday anyways, and these birthdays are just an indication that you're exactly x years old, you don't actually magically become older, you always do grow older anYWAYS) and something that I don't wanna lose is the way I do spontaneous, random, and unconventional things that people like to question. It may not be of huge significance, but it adds a little something to my day.

⭐

March 17, 2022

last night

Context: For our culminating activity video, we wanted to interview an expert on the field of theatre to get more details on things I will share as a speaker.

I'm full of emotions more than thoughts and ideas. That was one amazing conversation and just like what Kuya Bruce said, I could do this all day. What I expected to be a 20-minute interview with Aiden, Cheska, with Kuya Bruce (a friend of mine) turned into a more than 2-hour conversation just about our love for teatro and how alive it is but we just gotta try harder to show it to the world. We need to find our audience.

I feel a little pressured to give justice to everything he has said but unlike most things that spiral me into being miserable, I feel comfortable and I'm actually glad that we have this shot. It's not our only shot so no pressure for me messing up and not being perfect. This is what I love anyways, and I'll take his advice (and Tick Tick Boom's) to share something *I know*. The goal is to make them want to see the beauty of theatre and want to love it as much as I do.

⭐

March 30, 2022

BAWI!

I am somewhat returning to a state of normalcy. I still get thoughts that bring me back to the situation I was in but keeping my support systems close has helped me overcome these thoughts little by little.

Our recent webinar had also been a good distraction with everything that had gone on with the past few days. I remember a few months ago when I rushed to my room in the middle of a dish-washing session to share my idea on creating a women's month event for all women. It almost brought me to tears seeing Ate Hez's post about our event and realizing that this time, I wasn't just watching from my seat, hoping for them to do something like this. This time, I am part of the people who get to organize these kinds of events to hopefully cater more inclusive themes. Seeing the queer visibility in our webinar and the comments (especially from the person who said that they were a genderfluid pan who was glad to see themselves in this event omg you'll never see this but hi) woke me up to realize what we were doing this for even though a lot of the times, I forget, with the amount of workload that goes on to implement these projects. I was reminded that what we do can potentially make a difference, hopefully for the better.

⭐

April 2, 2022

Pandok Pirak

Walking into the theater house already got me hyped but nothing could have ever prepared me from what I had felt watching real people perform something live while we're in the same room. When we were able to settle in our seats, Cheska approached a friend she knew on the seats in front of us. She then turned to me with an unexpected gesture of "Ang ganda mo po, nagstastand out ka sa outfit mo." and everything that had gone on before that didn't matter anymore, since I had been anxiously walking by myself half an hour before that moment, looking at my shoes to avoid glances.

The lights flicker, like how I would usually edit projects I have in video format, but it was live this time. I was no longer looking at the tiny screen on my device, the lights were all around me and my eyes were glued to the stage and I didn't even dare to blink. Their light design was beyond amazing and there was a specific song number that I loved and was surprised by with the three-part harmony and an amazing ensemble with live orchestra. I could feel my eyes getting watery during a joyful musical number. It was surreal, getting to see live theatre, and I hope I'll get to see more in the near future, and maybe even be a part of it sooner or later.

⭐

April 18, 2022

running on *eleven* hours of sleep

I slept at a decent time last night, but my body seems to be getting used to waking up late. I woke up at 7:30, then 7:40, then 7:50, then 8, then slept when I saw Sir Kiko's announcement that there won't be a synchronous class today. I woke up at 11 (at least my sixth time of waking up today, just in time for my next class. Lately, I've been feeling sleepy at times I usually won't be... is this what getting older feels like? Take me back!

Today was more productive than I could have expected. I wasn't working to the max, I just had low expectations for today.

I'm all set for tomorrow. I'll be leaving for some errands and an invitation as a guest for a podcast from my previous school. I'll also be picking up the Barong I bought from an alumni and all the other errands that come from it. I'll be spending time with some friends as well.

⭐

April 19, 2022

cat stockings

I like going ✨extra✨ and ✨magis✨ with what I wear most of the times when I go out to the world. My reasoning used to mainly be to cover up the insecurities I feel with my body and make me feel confident and good about myself and an assurance that strangers will see something I chose to bring to the world, and not the physical qualities I didn't like about myself. I soon became distant from that idea, though it's still very much there, but my priorities started leaning towards self-expression and creativity. Today's outfit: a fun white top I've had since early-jhs, fun black shorts (they're not denim, curse that fabric) from an ukay trip a few years ago, cat stockings that look like knee-high cat-stencil socks if you look far enough since the upper half of the stockings (almost) match my skin tone as it should from shopee, a black fedora hat I found from one of my sibling's old stuff (which sibling, I do not know) that was about to be thrown away, and Doc-Martens-boots-na-hindi-Doc-Martens. Going around places in public transpo has been difficult since it's been two years since I have been a regular commuter. And even then, I have rarely explored the depths of Naga City without someone, usually a friend or some, to guide me where the tricycles are and where the jeepneys go. I was completely blind this time, and I looked stupid when I found out that you couldn't ride from SM to LCC without having to "rent" the tricy for 60 pesos. I was not willing to spend that much so I had to explore other options and even considered the idea of walking but I realized that the driver who had the package for my graduation attire I bought from an alumni had already been there for a couple minutes and I was running late. I may have been overreacting but I've had a couple tricyle and padyak drivers look at me weird with a grin and vague comments as they look at me when I was by myself which bothered me a lot.

⭐

April 25, 2022

appl117

Ma'am RF is amjdshhdhs amazing. You can truly feel her words and you can feel that she means it when she says you're doing a great job. We had our last synchronous session followed by a meeting with just the three of us: Ma'am RF and the Culminating Activity Project Heads. The implementation and seeing everyone embodying magis was rewarding in itself but getting validation from your very own teacher adds up to all of it.

⭐

April 27, 2022

bliss

this feels good. I was living in bliss while listening to AHEB songs after our successful afternoon webinar. It started with it because of my experience inviting Mr. Reb Atadero and him guesting in our webinar. I've only seen a bit of his content before but his ideas struck me so much with those few TikToks from him I've watched. He was also the OG Hector in the AHEB Musical and he and the AHEB cast performed in one of Leni Robredo's rally for their TheatreForLeni. It was amazing getting to watch someone talk who not only share the same ideas (and more I learned from) to someone with an amazing and open mind but also has made it in teatro and was a part of one of my favorite musicals. This might have been the second time I fell in bliss while listening to AHEB songs. After his talk, I rested my entire body in my long pillow and put my phone on my chest while Spotify was blasting the blissful moments of the Act I of AHEB. Is this what being high feels like? I'M NOT USING SUBSTANCES THOUGH I SWEAR I was just in so much bliss which intensified so much that it was so much more about the afternoon talk by that time. I couldn't tell what it was I just knew I loved the feeling and living in that moment alone was enough for me.

[violetvettel]

the way sebastian and britta (i guess antti too, but he wasn’t there during rbr) have been through so much together! it really hit when he went to hug them that they’ve been right there with him in the lowest of lows for the past two-three years and probably know everything that was going on down to the daily bs and it’s just!!!! he’s still had them in his corner always and for them it’s the Relief of seeing someone you love make it through such a tumultuous time and come out better & stronger, it’s the real shit

Antti and Britta are HIS PEOPLE

THROUGH THICK AND THIN ❤️❤️

#they love him so much :'))))))) #even though they're his ''employees'' in a way the bonds they have formed go way beyond #and I'm so glad he has that support system no matter how the situation is #they'll stick by him ❤️ #sebastian vettel #britta roeske #antti kontsas #anonymous #answered

[dandelion-sugar]

Hii! I know you just posted that Childe x reader angst like 2 hours ago but I was wondering if you'll make a part 2?? The story just seemed so interesting hshs I'm wondering if the reader will forgive Childe bc she loves him or will she hate him for taking Zhongli's gnosis? That's all! No pressure tho <33

𝑺𝒐𝒖𝒓 『Tartaglia x Archon!Reader』 - Part two

Summary: Reader is the first existing Archon, the one who offered the seven gnosis to the first Archons. She is the "Mother" of the Archons.

Warning: Angst

Author's note : Wow, I'm so glad you liked this story ! I am so touched by your support (✿◠‿◠) ! I hope you enjoy this part two too ~

10,9k || part one

For a fortnight now, Snezhnaya has been under violent attacks on its borders. At first it was only Hilichurls and Mitachurls, but as the days went by, the enemies became more numerous and powerful. The Fatui were struggling to protect the borders. Their numerous troops were put to the test. Today is no different. The Ruin Graders are relentlessly raging against the exhausted and wounded soldiers.

Despite the devices put in place by the Fatui, it was not long before the population became aware of their nation's situation. The tense atmosphere of the streets showed the constant anxiety of the inhabitants.

For a fortnight the sky had been rumbling with storms, as if to announce an evil omen. It was only a matter of time before the fighters at the borders could no longer withstand the constant assault. Tartaglia was sent to the battlefield. He had offered himself to The Tsaritsa for two reasons : to be forgiven for believing in you, but above all to forget the look of hatred towards him. Your eyes once filled with love... he could not accept the situation despite his will. Tartaglia still wonders if there is a connection between the invasion attempts at the borders and your sudden disappearance from the cold nation. He wonders what kind of relationship you have with Morax to react so violently to the sight of his gnosis. So many questions in his mind that cannot be answered. How much do you care about Morax to start a war ? Part of him desperately wants you not to be in an intimate relationship.

The throne room where the meeting was being held was buzzing with the terrible scene that had just unfolded. You had just left with the Geo gnosis that they had struggled to capture. Anger and stress crawled through the nervous system of every Harbinger present. It was important to find you, and fast. Signora shouted for any trace of you to be searched in this castle...in all of Teyvat if necessary. Tartaglia stood upright, still in shock. It was the punch in his stomach that brought him out of his vegetative state. Scaramouche gritted his teeth, his eyes burning with annoyance.

"Whether it's Liyue or here, you're still a clown who gets fooled by every woman ! Are you going to stand there with your arms folded and stare into space ?" Scaramouche shouted in frustration.

Tartaglia's hand went for his colleague's collar, almost lifting him off the ground. Tartaglia too felt the weight of stress and fatigue. He was the one who had spent months on this case, who had delivered an ancient god. He was the one who had gone to all this trouble to achieve the ambitions of The Tsaritsa. He was the one who had just been betrayed by the one he was deeply in love with.

The room suddenly turned cold, forcing the eleven Harbingers to look at Cryo Archon. She stood impassive on her throne, a barren expression of life, like the lands of her icy nation. The disappearance of the Geo gnosis did not seem to affect her on the outside, but in reality she shared the fury of her subordinates. Her gaze turned to the large, frost-strewn windows overlooking the snow-capped mountains that formed the landscape of Snezhnaya.

"So this is what she looks like..." thought The Tsaritsa. Her hands tightened their grip on the armrests of her throne.

"Do you know the identity of this woman? Signora asked The Tsaritsa.

"No Archon can fail to know her. She is the first deity to occupy a throne in Celestia. The first Archon." Replied the Cryo Archon.

You look down from the highest mountains of Snezhnaya at the battles you started on the border. This bloodshed, this destruction... memories of the Archon war come back to you. A dark episode in your life but one that was necessary for the sake of human existence. A world dominated by too much divinity is a world where humans cannot thrive. But these very humans, whom she had protected at the cost of bloodshed, rebelled. The proof is in her hand, which contains the Geo gnosis. You wish to recover the Anemo and Cryo gnosis. Should you take back all the gnosis ?

A familiar voice draws you out of your thoughts. The owner of this voice is suffering. You can see him fall to his knees in front of a horde of Ruin Graders. How many had he killed to be covered in his own blood ? An almost affectionate, bitter smile forms on your lips. Tartaglia has always been like this. Fighting gives him a jolt of adrenaline that makes him thrill. This enthusiasm is one of the qualities you have fallen in love with. Love... that feeling that never leaves you. You understand why humans were driven to make risky decisions for love. When you really love, you don't forget it and your instinct is to save it.

Tartaglia kept one eye open for the five Ruin Graders coming towards him. His left eye no longer had the strength to open, reducing his field of vision. The muscles in his arms no longer responded to his silent pleas. His bow lay at his side. Tartaglia no longer had the strength to wield it. Nor did his condition allow him to use his Foul Legacy form. Was this how he was going to lose his life ? Dying in battle... wasn't that the most appropriate death for him ? An exhausted smile curved his lips. If his life was to end now, he wanted to go out with a smile. So he closes his eyes.

But seconds become minutes and nothing hits him hard. The mechanical noises just stopped and only the violent wind of the snowstorm hit his ears reddened by the cold. His right eye opened, discovering with amazement the five Ruin Graders standing upright, no longer moving. A figure from the sky landed in front of the five machines. Your figure. Your flowing outfit makes you look like a deity. Your right hand holds a sceptre with an arc of the seven elements at the end. As much as he wants to spend his day looking at your real face, your emotionless gaze destroys him. For a brief moment he wished he were dead rather than face this absence of love. Tartaglia lets out a low laugh, his face bent to the ground. His fringes prevent you from observing his face in more detail.

"Did you ever love me?" he asks after his painful laugh.

You open your mouth but no sound passes your lips. Your former lover's laughter becomes even more distressing. You can't stop a frown from appearing on your face. You curse these feelings that are hindering your resolve. You take a deep, silent breath, to find the strength to speak to him.

"Ajax. Life is cruel, even more so for a human. You are faced with choices that will forever impact your life. And today, I will force you to choose : will you be with the Cryo Archon or with me ?" you question.

Tartaglia looks up at you hurriedly, incredulous that you could force him to choose between the one to whom he has sworn allegiance or the one person he loves so intensely. His hands clutch the cold, wet fabric of his snow-soaked trousers. You feel a knot form in your throat and twist uncomfortably. The anxiety of waiting is unbearable. You don't know if you are ready to let him go and join the forces of the Cryo Archon. You are not sure you have the strength to kill him if he gets in your way.

But in the face of his lack of response, you already know which way he would go. You crouch down in front of him, caressing his cheek with your fingertips, below his injured eye. The fatigue, the cold and his wounds disappear like magic. Your power healed him. A soft warmth snakes through every fibre of his being. For the first time in a fortnight, he looks at you with his beautiful blue eyes. And for the first time, Tartaglia sees in your gaze the love he thought he had lost, mixed with the sadness of his choice. He regretted not being able to take the path you chose.

"It's a choice that suits you. Your loyalty is one of the qualities that attracted me to you." You confess in a whisper.

"Y/N..." Tartaglia begins before you interrupt him.

"Too bad that loyalty never fully belonged to me."

With your words, you lean towards him, pressing your lips together in a final kiss that brings together all the feelings you can no longer share with him. And before he knows it, you have disappeared again with the five Ruin Graders, leaving him alone on a snowy plain. A single tear rolls down Tartaglia's cheek, unable to stop himself from questioning his choice. "Did I make the right decision ?" this question will surely torment him for the rest of his life. He could only go forward by The Tsaritsa's side, until your paths cross again...and one of you does not come out alive.

Extra

"Mother"

Morax's voice calling you makes you whirl in his direction. Your eyes land on your two sons, covered in a thick cloak that protects them from the bitter cold of the mountain on which you are watching the war you have just launched. Your sons notice your eyes reddened by tears. Barbatos takes you in a comforting embrace, wanting to soothe your sadness. You bury your face in his neck, enjoying the slight relief this affection brings you. After a few seconds, Barbatos pulls away with an affectionate smile, returning to his place beside Morax.

"Mother, are you sure you want to start a new war? Don't forget what happened at Khaenri'ah." Says Morax, his voice showing the seriousness he is showing. Even tired of his role as Archon, he continues to act like one.

"If I am not the one to cast it then Cryo Archon will. The Tsaritsa will launch an attack on Celestia, on me." You answer.

You turn your back on them, your eyes staring at the fighting that tirelessly takes place on the borders. Your divine nature gives you the ability to observe all of Teyvat, and right now your attention is on the progress of your troops.

"It is the role of a parent to scold his children when they do something wrong. It is time for punishment...Yes...these humans need to be reminded that there are beings superior to them." You say with a peaceful, almost mocking smile.

"And it is the role of the big brothers to help correct the younger ones." Says Barbatos with a mischievous smile.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin childe #childe x reader #genshin angst #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #tartaglia #Tartaglia x reader

[eulchu]

listen i fully agree with you. twitter is just a cesspool and it's best for people (not just creators, the fans too) stay off of it tbh. I'm not gonna pretend dream is perfect, but he sure isn't the person the internet makes him out to be. Controlling 23 million people that have just introduced themselves to you in the past year is literally impossible. I do like how the trend today, however, is trying to be used to lift up black creators. That's the best use I've seen of one of those things ever. The rest of it is just gross. And the situation with Karl genuinely upsets me. The boy didn't do anything. Literally the internet just wanted to bully an energetic, neurodivergent dude because he's not exactly what they want him to be. When they couldn't find anything he actually said that would be "canceleable", they made him answer for other people's actions and made up conspiracy theories. I can tell Karl is super sensitive to the way he can affect people and the idea of hurting someone is probably his worst nightmare, so I was (and am) genuinely worried for him. He gets shit no matter where he goes. I feel like Dream at least has a pretty solid support system. I'm just worried Karl may not have the same thing. (Sorry for the long message, I just wanted to talk about this a little lol)

ohh where do i start!

1. dream is flawed! and there's nothing wrong with admitting it. everyone is. i'm not gonna lie, you know i haven't been into the dreamsmp for the longest time but from what i can see i really admire his eagerness to do better and apologize for the things he's done wrong VERY thoroughly (mostly. once he's cooled down. he's not very good at dealing with confrontation). i'm not gonna pretend that i know everything that's been going on since he rose to fame nor am i a black person NOR know enough american culture to understand the correlation between his tweet and the (unintentional??) racist undertone, but i will say that today crossed a line, overall. i agree it was nice to see the poc cc threads (that's the only good thing that happened today) but man...

not only as a neordivergent person but also (as of right now, days away from graduating) a psych student, the hate and harassment he got for the "normal pills" is ridiculous. i'm not gonna get into it because i could write another whole essay about it, so all i'm gonna say is: ridiculous. and from what i've seen that's usually how it goes? same thing with the pride merch! he only did it because his fans asked for it. he has the Trevor project permanently linked to his sm accs. he's donating a shitton of money and people still tried (and ARE trying) to cancel him because his intentions are "fishy". everything he does has to get twisted into something that wasn't inherently hurtful.

and god don't even get me started on the doxxing and harassment and body shaming.... and people making a joke out of it because it's just so fucking funny! isn't it? i'm glad he's taking a break. i would've quitted everything months ago.

2. about the karl situation, this is an interesting one - you see, the first member of the dsmp i took notice of was mr karl jacobs! unlike w the rest of the dsmp, i've known karl waaay before christmas. i always had a spot for him, back when i only knew him through corpse's videos. you can imagine how that's amplified since i found out he's part of the feral boys. it was actually videos of a call between tina and karl that caught my attention and eventually led me to a lot of dsmp recs. honestly? i kinda hate that karl's lowest moment was what made me notice this whole community.

i cannot stress how awful i feel about this whole situation. and all for what? to this day i still don't know what made people be so goddamn horrible and mean to the kid. i knew almost nothing about him, except that he was friends with corpse and had met up with sapnap, and i remember when i heard about all the awful things that had been said to him on stream i went on a rage rampage and turned into the control police in yt comments. it just... doesn't compute. people kept saying 'stop saying this karl stops eating when this happens' and everyone??? went 'good'???? what the fuck? how can you sleep at night knowing you destroyed someone's mental health. i was so worried i even sent him a dm on instagram. i don't send dms. ever.

i get what you mean about the support system and yeah, i feel like dream has a big thing going on with sapnap and george? like everyone's close with everyone of course but i feel like the three are ride or die. i do however think that for karl, that's sapnap too. just based off on his personality and his relationship with karl, i like to think that he's a very strong support system for karl too.

overall i'm so glad i got to know them and i love their content but i really really wish someone would get them off the internet. they're gonna be ruined by 25 if people keep it up.

#long ask you say :) may i interest you in a long answer #i'm sorry i totally ranted my way through this #dreamwastaken #karl jacobs #dream neg #karl neg #eating disorder tw #ask #kraken45

[askfallenroyalty]

I don't think you did anything wrong. When a story is being written, there are a lot of different ways to adress and express something and maybe that's why you're being misunderstood. I think there are just too many things to adress in this story that maybe some people will get when these things are implicitly implied and some people will not. So when a breaking point comes, they'd think it came out of nowhere. You can see this with the amount of asks you receive asking you often the same thing.

Does that mean it's wrong? Ofc not! I myself was a little bit confused with Frisk's reactions and conduct in general until you explained it in your recent asks, and I thought man, that was what I was missing!

Now, yes I believe some parts of the story could have been explained in a different way, because in my opinion there's a lot to read between the lines. If you don't try to understand the characters, you'll clearly be confused as hell. But that's why I love this story! As you said before, there's nothing meant to be black/white coded, and I really appreciate the world and the character's complexity in general. You don't have some of the answers in hand, an that's when you have to analize! (At least that's what I do haha)

I also really felt like telling you something I've been relating to, so I'm putting the respectives tw if someone doesn't want to keep reading (TW: Suicide mention).

In the DW Arc, when the Christmas and Feylow stuff happened, I realised through Chara that I was doing the exact same thing with a friend of mine. He was going through a lot of stuff, and tried to commit suicide multiple times. I was focusing a huge amount of energy on him because I was afraid to lose him, and when he suddenly stopped talking to me so he could take a break, I felt really lost. Because he was the person I talked with the most, one of my dearest friends, and the idea of losing him and not being there to stop it made me insanely anxious, because that used to be the situation most of the times. Now it's been a year since he's stopped talking to me, and I don't exactly know the reason. But I couldn't keep running behind someone who didn't seem to keep wanting me around. And if it wasn't for you, I couldn't have realized how much this was hurting me.

And now, as much as it hurts me to see him acting this distant and cold with me, I'm okay with it. I really am. Because I now have the tranquility to see him continue, even when things are not okay. I can't force a friendship and I really needed to understand that back then. I trust him as much as he trusts me.

I really wanted to thank you for writing this story because it has helped me in a way I didn't expect, and I'm sure it will help a lot of people too! I'm even learning from your way of taking and discussing things haha.

I just wanted you to have this tranquility I have with this story because I trust it'll work out and explain itself once it's finished. And I just can't express how thankful I am to be reading your story.

Thank you again,

I'm looking forward to more of your work and please, take care! Don't stop doing what you enjoy! 🦋

putting it under a readmore because of how long the ask/response is, sorry!

i’m at a loss of words because wow, this ask really hit in a way i’ve never really could of anticipated. when writing AFR, i write a story about things I felt. I’ve been Chara, I’ve been Asriel and Frisk at points in my life. I write because I need to tell their stories and make it real, specifically for my own sake of getting through my own pain and to tell the world this is who i am and that I will be ok, there is hope in this world. It’s a selfish desire for me, but ultimately that’s what art is i feel. I couldn’t draw this much and put so much time and effort into something without it being meaningful or personal.

but art is communication, and when I write to be seen and to be heard, I know there’s others who are reading and are connecting with the work. (otherwise, I wouldn’t be getting asks right? its a lonely process, i forget there’s the second half of the equation -you guys) and i’ll do my best to make sure people are accommodated and can experience this story without hurting in a way that’s past enjoying a emotionally gripping piece of media. i don’t want people to be upset or hurt for my work, and I want to ensure I can make this without hurting others.

I try to leave a lot of ambiguity and room for people to interpret stories and I don’t mind people missing the point or interpreting things vastly differently than what I intended. that’s fine, that’s what art is all about. i don’t want to hold people’s hands and tell them what’s happening or what they should feel -i want them to choose and decipher and think things over. stories should be stimulating and thought provoking, and i can’t decide what those thoughts are. I wouldn’t want to. Personally, if it means people become more confused and lost over the story -well, that’s a trade off I have to take. if it means the story is more up-to-interpretation, than it’s worth it to me.

i do regret with how fast and punchy the arc ended up, and I feel my hints may have been too weak. asriel/flowey has been bluntly surprised/asking to be killed twice, he hasn’t felt like himself since dying and has lost his support systems ect. as a person who’s Been Through Shit, I thought it was as obvious as the sun what was to come but thinking on it now?

with how distance asriel is, how limited the perspective is to chara (who hasn’t known Asriel has been going thru the same depressive/suicidal thoughts as they have this whole time) it was a shock to the system. and in a way that’s fine in my eyes if the reader was completely shocked as you can emphasize more with chara that way... but in the same sense its horrifying for them, it must be for the reader as well.

and I do feel I should of thought of a way to handle the scenario to where it was less in your-face with Asriel’s decent into desperation and attempts. I don’t want to ever show it on screen, I don’t want to ever go into detail and make it any sort of fun for the viewer. it’s supposed to be disturbing and painful and I tried to show how greatly painful it was affecting both chara and frisk. Suicide victims are victims and everyone involved suffer from it. It’s ugly and never something one should be anything but ugly.

that is my intent for it be that, but as I’ve heard from people it’s still a shock and went too far. Authorial intent doesn’t matter when people react to your stories. yes, the context can be good to have, but people’s feelings and reactions mean the world more. I hope with the added context of the complete story that helps it in the long run, but as it is I’m very unhappy with how I tackled it and I don’t really have a good answer to how I should of gone about it. but at the end of the day that doesn’t matter as it happened and I can’t change it.

i’m sorry about your friend and i’m sorry for the pain you’ve experienced as well. it’s not easy being in that position (nor is it for ur friend as well of course) and it’s perfectly fine to feel hurt and to take time for yourself to address those feelings. You, as a person, matter and your feelings are justifiably important as well. nobody asks to be mentally ill and your friend’s choices aren’t fully theirs because of that, but it doesn’t change how it’s affected and hurt you. Losing someone’s friendship has always been a painful and inevitable experience people must go thru in life. I’m sorry that you’ve gone through that, but I’m glad -so happy that my story has helped you in any amount. I sincerely wish you both the best and to heal, I’m proud of you anon for getting through this.

I can’t really express how much it means as a writer to see how my work helped you. Like I mentioned before, I write and feel like it’s by myself that makes this work but it’s a 2 way street -you guys contribute to the story and the story only exists and is perceived by you. without an audience, it really truly is just me here. what you gain and experience within a story is just as important as the writing of the work itself and I often forget that.

Thank you. This was a really nice and eye opening ask and it’s going to be on my mind for a while, haha. I hope once the story is done and I can post-correct how I handle the story, people can learn and gain meaning to it like you have. Sorry if this was a bit rambly, I’m very thankful for your response (as well as everyone else who’s messaged!) and I’m very happy and excited to continue and to do my best. Thank you all so much.

#ooc #tbd #not art #suicide #ask to tag #also sorry i do not mean to get so parasocial here! is it parasocial in this instance? #i'm not fully sure but regardless #i do want my readers to be ok and I hope its not out of line to respond like this #maybe i'm overthinking things im sorry asdfkljasd #Anonymous

[thehoneycookiecrumbs]

All Might X Reader

- You and All Might are a new couple and after a year of dating, you guys decided to move in together! All Might is worried because for some reason your not sleeping!

Pairing: All Might X Reader

Word Count: 3K

Genre: Fluff and comfort! 

Warnings: Minor cussing

Author Note: This is part of bnha collab i’m doing from the server Bnha Sanctuary! that @myherowritings​ created! It was @therainroguefanfiction​ idea to do the collab! This is my first completed fic? (one-shot) i’ve ever done! so lmk what you guys think and thank you so much for letting me be a part of this collab!!! 

The Collab!!

Also thanks for @ambershaydeoffical​ for helping me edit the first half!! ILYSM THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME <3 and grammarly too <3

Y/N and All Might were in their new house together, they had finally unfinished unloading all the boxes from the moving in truck. Y/N leaned on the counter of the living room, drinking a glass of water when suddenly All Might had received an urgent call from Detective Naomasa Tsukauchi. All Might went through a spectrum of emotions, from anger to guilt to anxiousness. His face paled, and his body shook a bit; finally, he turned to look at Y/N. He spoke in an apologetic tone, "Do you think you can hold off the dinner plans for tonight? I need to head to the police station, one of my students is… in a sticky situation right now..." He flashed her one of his brilliant smiles, "No need to worry though, it's nothing that I can't handle!"

Y/N set her cup down, only for it to crack. She stared at it and had a bad feeling. She chose to ignore it and proceeded to walk towards her lover. She gracefully cupped his cheek in one hand and leaned to peck his lips. "All that matters to me is that you come home safe. I'll be here," she whispered.

All Might’s gaze never faltered, and leaned in for another kiss, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist “I’ll be back soon” and out he went to save the day.

                Hours passed, and Y/N has not heard anything from Toshi. The homemade cooked dinner Y/N had left for her dear boyfriend was cold, sitting on the kitchen table untouched.

Y/N woke up in a cold sweat, her body shaking as she looked to her side and noticed that her man still was not back home. She looked at the time, and it was past midnight. She unlocked her phone with shaky hands, and the first thing she noticed was the news of All Might fighting All for One. Her breath hitched, and she started to watch the live news feed.

               “DESTRUCTION! THEFT! EXPLOITATION! MANIPULATION! THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, JUST TRYING TO LIVE DAY TODAY! YOU LAUGH AT THEM, SCORN THEIR HARDSHIP, THOSE ARE THINGS THAT I CANNOT..." All Might move to punch All for one “FORGIVE!” he went and socked All for One while pinning down the villain with his left hand. Steam started to rise from his body 'my time limit…' All might thought.  

Y/N gasped in horror as she saw the steam emitting from his body, knowing that he was severely injured, saw the blood, and sweat on her lover. She saw that he was half deflated. She recognized that pained look on his face. She did not know what they were saying but knowing her boyfriend and the situation wasn't anything pleasant.

                All Might is pushed back, and he flies up in the air, heading towards the helicopters, but Grain Torino swoops in, grabbing All Might like he was a child, and placed him on the ground. A bit of shifting occurred, and the talking resumed. All for One went and punched All Might, and All Might was left in a weakened state. He was his usual scrawny self, but with many wounds, his arms battered, and his clothes barely holding themselves together. It seemed all the life of the symbol of peace was gone, it was a devasting sight for the world to see. All Might was no longer smiling.

Y/N was clutching at her phone tightly. Her heart was beating erratically, and she already knew how Toshinori looked at his standard form. After all, that's how she met him for the first time, not knowing it was All Might. Tears were streaming down her face.

"You promised me that you'll be back home soon," she choked out. No one was in the room with her as she continued to spoke "Our life is barely just starting…our life…our future…please honey…come back home alive” she was desperate.

She didn't know what else was going to happen, and here she was watching the love of her life be torn into pieces, on live television. She was at home, being utterly useless in a situation she cannot help. Y/n broke out into a cold sweat, her breathing became hysterical, as many intrusive thoughts swarm her brain, her vision blurred, and chills ran up her body. Her left hand clutched at her chest as she was in pain.

‘Toshi…Toshi…’ his name kept repeating in her head. ‘You need to calm down and breathe. Just breathe.’ She thought. She couldn’t speak as she tried to calm herself down, ‘have faith in him, he is the number 1 hero, and he can do it. He will survive,' she advises herself.  

All Might bulk up his right arm and spoke to All for One “YOU’RE RIGHT, THERE’S SO MUCH WE HEROES HAVE TO PROTECT! AND THAT’S WHY WE DON’T LOSE!” all the surrounding heroes joined All Might, helping him in the background, giving him back up, and moving all the nearby civilians out of the way. There was an explosion and a cry “UNITED STATES… SMASH!” and another impact was heard. The land shook, and the smoke cleared out, revealing a broken bleeding All Might, with his right fist up in the air. He then faced the camera, pointing it and uttering out the words "You're Next."  

Y/N immediately threw her phone onto the bed. She shoved the covers off her, ran into her closet, grabbed a random coat, and slipped onto her slippers. She grabbed her purse, phone, and keys, and rushed out the door. Dialing detective Naomasa, to find out which hospital her beloved would be staying in.

At the hospital, Y/N wasn’t allowed to see Toshinori immediately. She walked briskly in the waiting area, and a few of the nurses not believing that she was All Might’s girlfriend, thinking she was just another crazed fan. It wasn’t till detective Naomasa had told the nurses she was, indeed, the lover of All Might, and promptly led in. She burst into Toshi’s room and fell by his side.

There lay All Might, and he was bruised and scarred. He was bandaged from head to toe with a broken arm. He was shocked by the sudden loudness and appearance of Y/N. He immediately sat up "Y-Y/N!" his lover marched up to him and lightly threw her arms around him. She started sobbing onto the crook of his neck.

“Y-You idiot!” she bawled. All Might awkwardly held his girlfriend with his one arm, trying to calm her down frantically “H-Hey W-Why are you crying?! Are you okay?! Are you hurt?!”

Y/N pulled away from All Might slightly but had still kept him at arm's length. "Why am I crying?! Am I okay?! Are you out of your damn mind?!" she spoke angrily, her jaw was clenched, and tears streamed down her face. "The question is, are You okay?! I just saw you get beaten up on television!” she exasperates. She was in disbelief that he was asking about her safety; she took a deep breath.

“Honey, I’m fine. But you worry me so much. I’m only glad that you are alive and okay” she kisses his cheek and takes a seat in front of his hospital bed.

She pulls out a protein bar from her purse and shakily hands it to him "Here, you haven't eaten anything. You should get something in your system…" All Might's cheeks flush a light pink, as he glances at Detective Naomasa and Gran Torino, who looked at him with knowing grins. His focus goes backs to Y/N and gently takes the protein bar from her, and he gives her an awkward chuckle.

"I'm the number 1 hero, dying is the last thing that will be on my list."  

Once All Might was discharged from the hospital, he was surprised to see that all the boxes from the moving truck were unpacked and unloaded. All their stuff was already placed around the house! He came to a beautiful home, where it was clean and smelled a lot like Y/N. She really did put that girlish feel into the house which he loved.

He thought that Y/N was utterly fantastic, unloading everything, and still manage to bring warm cook meals to him at the hospital, along with maintaining her job. His arm was broken, so whenever he needed help, Y/N was there, and she did a great job where he never felt babied. He felt blessed and loved as he knows that Y/N is doing her best to support him whenever she can.  

They had already gotten to the routine where in the morning, Y/N likes to cook breakfast for the two. They both get ready in the morning, and off to work they go, he felt like they were newlyweds. Still, he always blushed at the thought. It was too early in the relationship to think about marriage, even though that's where it seemed to be headed in the future.

After having dinner, you and Toshi decided it was time to head for bed, as he had a class to teach in the morning. He wanted to help develop his student's quirk abilities. You were changing into your PJs, and All Might had his back facing you, -he, himself, changing into his own proper sleepwear. Once you finished, you cough awkwardly to let him know you were done changing, and you both crawled into bed.

You were stiff and tense as you laid to the side, and shifted toward him, as he pulled out a book 'how to teach and motivate students for DUMMIES'; you snorted once you saw what he was reading. Toshi looked at you, embarrassed. "I need to help my kids develop a special move, but I don't know how too," he admitted shyly.

You flashed him a smile, “Honey, all you have to do is be yourself and provide them encouragement without giving them the answer. Don't stress too much; they are smart, creative kids, and they'll soon find the answer," you responded.

Toshi’s gaze shifted away and mumbled out an "It is not that easy as your making it sound…"  

You pressed your lips to the side of his cheek, and pulled away, speaking in a soft loving tone “I’m going to go to bed, Goodnight and get some rest, don't be up too late."

 You got comfortable on your side of the bed. Except, and sleep never came to you. You were awake when All Might had turned off his lamp, put his book away, gave you a peck on the top of your head, which you found endearing.

You laid there in the dark, with your eyes close, remembering that when your friend spoke to you, her boyfriend broke up with her because she kept kicking him in sleep. Or that she snored too loudly, and that she spoke in her sleep and tended to sleep-walk.

You thought he was an asshole, and that he did not deserve your friend! You had many sleepovers with her before! She honestly didn't move that much, and you felt that he was exaggerating.

Your thoughts had shifted in, and you began to wonder how you slept at night. You grew paranoid, ‘Do I move a lot in my sleep? Do I hog all the blankets? Do I snore loudly? Oh god, what if I hurt Toshi, especially since he's injured,' you thought.  

You knew Toshi, he wasn’t the type to break up with someone because they

were snoring loudly, but you couldn’t help the paranoia feeling of accidentally hurting him in your sleep.

Beep

merp

Beep

Merp

Beep

Your alarm had pulled you from your thoughts, and you let out a deep sigh. You started getting ready for the day and headed into the kitchen to make breakfast for the day! You even decided to make Toshi a cute-looking bento. Luckily, you planned and had already prepped most of the ingredients at night, so it didn't take you long to prepare in the morning. You wrote a cute note, too, and placed it in the bento box with a cloth wrapping and set it to the side.

You were putting the pans in the dishwasher and cleaning the countertops when All Might showed up. He sniffed the air, "You didn't have to cook again," he spoke.

You can tell that he was grateful, as he was giving you a gaze with so much love that it made your heartthrob. "I didn't have too, but I wanted too," you replied back with a grin on your face.

“I also made you lunch for today! Who’s the best girlfriend~?” you sang.

All Might laughed “You, of course, and thank you for making lunch” he murmured as he wrapped his arm around you from behind, and kissed the top of your ears, to your head.

“Tonight, I'll help make dinner, and I'll help you set the table right now."  

He pulled away from you and started putting out the plates and cups onto the table. He already knew how you liked your coffee (or tea) for the day. You walked towards the table, where you found Toshi, waiting for you. You both picked up your chopsticks "itadakimasu!” and started to dig in.

Toshinori sighed in content, exclaiming how delicious the food was.

All Might wasn't much of a cook, so he didn't eat homemade meals until you came along. When you found out that Toshi, mostly ate take out, you took it upon yourself to cook every day. Honestly, it was a hobby of yours, and you enjoyed cooking, it was something that you did with your mother when you were young. It was very satisfying when you had friends and love ones take a bite of your cooking, and they always exclaimed how they loved it.

You felt even more appreciated when Toshi started looking forward to your cooking. He also started asking to join you, trying to help you as much as he can. Trying out new recipes was always fun, and you loved teasing him! You never let him into the kitchen when cooking secret family recipes, as he’s not allowed to know your secrets!

A week has passed, and the same repetitive thoughts kept you up at night, worried that you might disturb Toshi’s sleep. You always felt tired and were sluggish in your movements, your eyes were puffy, and you had dark bags. You kept up with your extensive cooking every morning, lunch, and dinner. At work, you kept getting distracted and even doze off a few times in the job.

Your co-workers had begun to worry along with Toshi, as he kept trying to coax you to sleep. The other night he gave you a gentle back massage since his arm was now healed. No matter what kinds of methods you tried, you always woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep. It got to the point where you started cleaning random areas in the house, and when Toshi would wake up, he would try to bring you back to bed, only for you to snap angrily at him.

Today was another night, and Toshi had decided to buy you some lavender bath bombs for you to try before bed. While you were in the bath, All Might had set up a humidifier that spewed out a Lavender and Chamomile scent. (He read online about aromatherapy), he pulled out a shopping bag, and out came a cute expensive pillow, he put your favorite [color] pillow sheets and had settled it on your side of the bed.  

He stood back, marveling out the room, and wondering what else he was missing, and he pondered why he couldn't sleep. He felt awful that he was getting a good rest, whereas you couldn't wake up for the day without feeling cranky.  

A Light bulb went off in his head, he had also gotten you another gift! He goes and gets another shopping bag, and as he does, you walk into the bedroom, look at the sight, the aromatherapy, the pillow, the bath bombs, and tear up at sight.

You notice, Toshi, walking next to you and handing you some fuzzy socks, "I read online that socks can help you sleep..?"

You noticed that they were brand new and start to sniffle.  All Might saw your teared-up face and started panicking, "Did you not like the color of the socks?!"  

You start to laugh, which confused him even more. Were you laughing or crying?! Which is it?! Why are you distress?! Are you distress?! What is going on?!

"No, you dummy," you sniffled some more and threw your arms around him. "I'm just so grateful," you whisper.

Your voice starts to crack “You are doing so much for me, and trying all these kinds of things for me, so I can sleep, how did I get so lucky?” you ask.

All Might, pulls you close to your chest “I think the question is, how did I get so lucky?”

He kisses the top of your head. "I just want you to take care of yourself and get a good night sleep, you're always worrying about my health, but sometimes, you need to remember to take care of yourself too" He paused, "In fact, take care of yourself first, before worrying about me, okay?"

You visibly relaxed, as you leaned in his arms, "You know that I love you?"

You soon froze. YOU JUST BLURTED OUT THAT YOU LOVED HIM! You internally started panicking; it seemed natural to you that you didn't think about it.  

All Might had tensed slightly when he heard your confession, but soon lifted you up in his arms as he briefly transformed into his buff form with a stupid grin on his face “No, I love-“

he had de-transformed and started coughing to the side, but still held on to you “I Love you too!” he blurted out with a heavy blush on his face.

You looked at him in bewilderment and started laughing, you were no longer unsure, and nervous. You truly felt loved, "shall we go to sleep, love~?" Toshinori continued to hold you in his arms, "We shall" and carried you to the bed.

You snuggled up to him in the bed and sighed happily, "Do you know what's stupid?"

All Might look down on you "What is?" he was massaging your scalp with his hand and was occasionally playing with your hair.

"I couldn't sleep because I thought I was going to hurt you in your sleep" you confessed, "and I thought I was a blanket stealer, or that I snored too loudly" you continued to ramble other thoughts that kept you up at night.

All Might had paused and tapped your cheek “I am the number one hero, you think you can hurt me?” he teased.

You huffed, "I did say it was stupid!" Toshi shook his head, "not stupid, my lover isn't stupid," he corrected you.

He chuckled a bit, "and Why do you need blankets to keep you warm when you have me?" he teased again.

You poked him in the face, "stop being cocky, Mr. Number One," you giggled.

Your confession was a weight lifted off your shoulders, and when Toshi had continued to massage your scalp, you soon drifted off to sleep, and not once did you wake up in the middle of the night.

Y/N and All Might laid in the extravagant bed together, all snuggled up with one another, the blankets wrapped around them. All Might’s arm was wrapped around Y/N waist, and his head laid on top of Y/N head, taking in her scent. The bright fuzzy socks were on the floor, forgotten.

#bnhasanctuarycollab #Bnha #my hero academia #All might x reader #all might x you #all might #one for all #all for one #mha toshinori #bnha toshinori #yagi toshinori #toshinori x reader #toshinori x you #sorry if i made allmight to occ #LOL I wrote apartment first but gotta remember All might is LOADED #HE GOT YOU HONEY HE IS YOUR SUGAR PAPI #ALL MIGHT GONNA TREAT HIS GIRL RIGHT #OKAY THE PROTEIN BAR IS FROM AN AU HEADCANNON SOMEWHERE I SAW ON TUMBLR ONCE #CUZ ALL MIGHT HAVING A HALF STOMACH CONSTANTLY EATS #also hospital food sucks sooo #anyway y/n be doing the most #all might be doing the most #he spoils u #u spoil him #much love and fluff #all might fluff #toshinor fluff #bnha fluff #mha fluff #bnha fanfiction

[n7inky-fanfics]

The Burden She Bears

The Shadow Broker does her best to keep Commander Shepard's information out of the trade. She knows, of course, that like all information on high profile figures it's out there. And of course, if she wishes to keep her identity a secret, some of her information must include information on Shepard, but she does her best to keep the most vulnerable parts out. As such, she is always careful to examine every new piece of information tagged as involving Shepard before she deals in it.

She is more than a little surprised, though, when her latest report on the Batarians is tagged as involving Shepard. Hazel has done her best to ensure that her work with the Alliance and the Council does not involve Batarians (too much bad blood there, even after the war). In an ever fluctuating and sensitive situation like this, it's best to leave incendiary figures out of it.

A month after the war, the Council received an urgent request for aid from the Batarians. In this request, they stated that they had helped to fight the war and that as such they feel it reasonable to ask for aid. They faced extinction if any more of their population died, and the destruction in their system meant a large possibility of mass death due to starvation, disease, climate, or debris. The Council used aid as a bargaining chip, and several weeks later they sent what they could to help after the Batarians signed into law an immediate ban on slavery. Now, over two years later, the Batarians have regained some strength. Their population is still rather small, but they are no longer suffering in such high numbers. They have rejoined Council Space, although they lack an embassy until they can prove worthy of it.

Liara opens the file and finds it to be information regarding several Batarian charities. These charities were all involved in reconstruction efforts in some way. One focused on sheltering those displaced by the Reapers across Council Space. Another focused on shelter for those still in the Batarian home system. Another involved supplying refugees in all systems, including the home system, with food and water. Each charity listed in the file is followed by recurring donation information. It seems that they all receive a monthly sum from the same anonymous source, which her sources have just named: Commander Hazel Shepard. Cross-referenced with intel on Shepard's monthly earnings, it appears that she donates fifteen percent of her income each month, which is not a sum to scoff at considering Shepard's rather sizeable income.

Liara marks the information as unusable and stores it securely before calling Shepard's apartment. Kaidan Alenko answers the call from the lounge. "Liara, how are you?" he asks, obviously pleased to see her.

"I'm well, thank you. I trust everything is well with you?"

"Peachy." Kaidan replies. Liara detects a note of sarcasm in his tone. "I've got some expense reports to write up for the Council and I just can't seem to get motivated."

Liara lets out a small, breathy laugh. "Good luck with that. Is Shepard home?"

"I think she's in a meeting with the Council right now. I can tell her you called."

"I'd appreciate it if you could ask her to call me back. I have something to discuss with her."

"Ah, did some information come across your desk?" Kaidan asks, smiling slightly.

"As a matter of fact, yes."

He drops the smile and he cock an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Liara hears a door slide open in the background. Kaidan turns around and calls "Hazel, in here." In a moment, she walks into the picture in her dress blues. A large gash trails down her right cheek, held closed by stitches.

She grins as widely as the stitches will let her and says "Liara, it's good to see you!"

"You too, Shepard. Unfortunately, this isn't just a social call. Would you like to talk privately?"

Hazel's smile fades into her trademark pokerface. All sense of a casual conversation amongst friends is gone, replaced by business with the well known Commander Shepard.

"Is this related to my work or is it personal?"

"Personal."

"In that case I doubt the information is classified. We can talk with Kaidan here." Kaidan nods in agreement.

"Your name has been linked to several monthly donations to Batarian charities. I thought you would like to know so that you could alter the accounts, for your privacy."

Shepard's face remains expressionless, but surprise splashes across Kaidan's. He doesn't say anything, but he obviously didn't know about this.

"Goddess, I'm sorry if I caused in trouble between the both of you. I didn't think that Kaidan wouldn't know. I-"

"Liara, it's alright." Shepard says calmly with a slight smirk. "Kaidan and I have separate finances. What we do with our money outside of paying the bills is our business." Kaidan nods in agreement, but the concern on his face suggests the subject will come up again later. Liara hopes she hasn't caused she hasn't created a source of contention between them.

"Thank you for letting us know, Liara." Kaidan says.

"Yes, thank you." Shepard adds. "Hey, let us know the next time you plan to be on the Citadel. We could go for drinks."

"Gladly. Take care, both of you." Liara smiles as she signs off.

--- --- --- --- --- ---

Kaidan and Shepard stand in silence for a moment after Liara hangs up before she says "Well, I better handle that before it becomes public knowledge" and walks over to her office. Kaidan follows her and settles into a rocking chair he trudges through his expense reports until Shepard takes the seat next to him.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I would like to ask. How long have you been donating to those charities?"

She sighs and buries her face in her hands. When she sits up, tears are gently rolling down her cheeks. "Since I got my first paycheck after the war. I just... Kaidan, I killed 300,000 people, their people, to buy us time against the Reapers."

"And that time gave us what we needed to win, even if some parties did not take advantage of it enough. It helped." As he speaks, he leans forward and gently wipes the tears from her eyes. "It mattered. What you did at that relay saved trillions." He holds her uninjured cheek in his hand and she leans into it.

"Maybe, but I still directly killed 300,000 people." Her voice, weighed down by pain and regret, is barely a whisper. "I can't just live with that, not without doing what I can to make things right. I can't be seen helping because it won't seem genuine and might cause more problems, but I can help in secret."

Kaidan stands up and reaches a hand out to her. She takes it and he gently pulls her out of the chair and into his arms. He places one hand on the back of her head and gently strokes her hair. "I wish I could lift this burden from you."

"No." She pulls back and stares directly in his eyes. "No, this is mine to bear."

"Then I will support you through it." She leans back into him and he holds her close. It's hard imagine Shepard making that decision. He will always regret that she had been left to make it alone. He can't change the past, but he can support her in the present and stay for her future, a future he is glad to be a part of.

#fanfic #mass effect #commander shepard #female shepard #kaidan alenko #shepard x kaidan #f!shenko #shenko #shepard #fshenko

[yanderemommabean]

*reads small vent post* ...ouch. okay, i know a random anon can't really help you or give you therapy, but... would you accept a cuddly bee? just... no matter how your mom talks about it, what your parents did was absolutely not okay. its okay to feel hurt and upset, because what they did and what they're doing now is hurtful and upsetting. i'm glad you're not in that situation anymore, and i hope you can put some more distance between yourself and that woman.

I appreciate the hugs, it’s very sweet, but I do need to inform you beans that my mom does suffer from bipolar disorder and was misdiagnosed during the years of abuse and mistreatment.

These past few years she’s been getting better (although she has other health issues) and when sober she’s a loving, caring, funny woman who supports me and regrets the past, she does have moments where she’ll drink and spiral and cause huge fights over nothing.

While that does not excuse her actions I feel it needs to be said that I love my mom with all my heart and know that the mental illness she suffered is part of the reason we all suffered.

While it does not excuse her actions, it does explain why some incidents happened, and we have discussed her remorse over it.

Lately she’s just been going down another spiral, and it’s hard on me because I know the real mom doesn’t mean it and this is just an unavoidable episode, but that doesn’t stop the PTSD and the panic attacks from occurring.

My mom is a wonderful women who was mistreated and misdiagnosed while with an abusive man, and while she took part in some of that abuse I have come to forgive her.

My step father (the old one not the new guy. New guy is FANTASTIC and I love him) is the one who did most of the abuse, and he had control over my mom because they had a child together (who lives with him now and is wanting to move in with us because they’re facing similar abuse now).

I love you beans and the support you bring me but I need y’all to know that my mom is a victim of the abuse too, and although her coping isn’t very healthy this is the only way she knows how to express herself. She’s on better medication and has changed so much that looking back at her old self is almost like looking at a completely different individual.

It’s complicated to say the least, and maybe one day I’ll publish a book on my family and how I survived, but for now I just need some hugs and to let my mom get this out of her system. And if things get worse I’ll figure out a healthy route on how to get help.

Thank you bean for your amazing support and sweet messages! All of you warm my heart and give me the boost to keep going, and I can never thank you enough for that!

I’ll be ok, I’m used to these kinds of things, they just frustrate me sometimes ya know? It’ll all be ok soon, we just gotta ride out this storm a bit!

-Mommabean

#y’all are very sweet #anon confessions are amazing #anon asks #Mommabean #personal

[bebx]

Hey love your blog! I'm a supporter of Johnny Depp too. So here's my question, Johnny lost his libel suit, but not his actual case against amber... So he could still win. I think people are confusing the two cases because a libel suit is defamation, Johnny only lost his case against the Sun. I don't think Amber is in the clear just yet.

Thank you, anon! As to your question regarding Johnny Depp situation, if I were to be honest, I don’t think people are confusing, or at least most people don’t. But why we are so upset about it even though it’s not the Depp VS. Heard case is because his losing to a corrupted system is just as bad. It shows how unfairly real victims are treated if they are males, it shows that we live in a world where male victims can never come forward with their stories. As heartbreaking as it is, I’ve heard many male victims say they are now afraid to share their stories because they’re afraid what happened to Johnny will happen to them.

Johnny lost his libel suit against the Sun for labeling him a “wife beater” — which couldn’t be further from the truth — disregard the dozens of evidences he has proving his innocence while AH has none just proved the worst fear of so many male victims all across the world. And, I’m asking this in the politest way possible, would you be okay with that if people called you a wife beater when you yourself knew the allegation wasn’t true? Of course, you wouldn’t be okay with it. No one would. Johnny losing this case against the Sun basically gave anyone a green light to call him that. It’s wrong. So it’s not him ‘only lost his case against the Sun’

I know he will appeal (which I’m glad he will) and his case against Amber will begin soon, but it’s still upsetting seeing how corrupted the system is, considering he, the victim, shouldn’t have to lose in the first place. Let’s not forget that it’s been reported Amber (or her lawyer) has connections with the judge outside the court, meaning he never stood a chance to begin with.

Of course, Amber is not in the clear. Far from it. But seeing how far and dirty she and her team are willing to go, people are allowed to be upset.

That being said, I still have faith (and I encourage you all to have as well, no matter how hard it gets) that justice will be served. As long as we keep going and not giving up. Johnny will get his justice and those who have wronged him will get what they deserve.

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