#and YES i mean can you blame them

[youngyoo-apologist]

OG Choi Han they could never make me hate you cause if some random rich boy was yelling at me and telling me my family deserved to die like a day after it happened and all I wanted was to know how I could get help I’d beat him up too

This plus the added fact that the Harris Village people were the first people to take Choi Han in and take care of him after years and years in the dark forest. Like he’s obviously not going to be mentally stable after all that, and he was so young when everything happened to him like I cannot blame him at all. I don’t think I can ever hate OG Choi Han like ever, he’s flawed, he has problems, but I love him dearly. He deserves the world. This kid who had to fight for his life, was taken away from his family, and in the process had to give up parts of his own humanity to survive, and like went to war two years later, they could never make me hate u OG Choi Han…

Like yeah violence is bad I guess but OG Cale had it coming(saying this as an OG Cale fan, I love him, but he was mean as hell when he was younger!)

If I’m honest, I think they were both in the wrong to an extent. Like OG Cale shouldn’t have said all that no matter the circumstances, and OG Choi Han shouldn’t have beaten him up so much. But u say mean shit and you get hit, that is how it will work when you’re talking to the guy who just saw his entire village get murdered like idkkkk man

I understand where OG Cale was coming from, but he had many issues and while he wasn’t an awful person, he was capable of doing bad things because of his own internalized pain and emotions that he never got to properly process because of his emotionally distant childhood and relationship with his father who should have been there for him more when he was younger.

Okay speaking of his childhood, Deruth isn’t the WORST father in the world but there are a lot of things he could have done better. I think a lot of Deruth’s flaws come from his fear of failure and messing up. He’s scared of doing the wrong thing, and so he sticks to doing what he knows and using what he knows best. That’s why he uses his money, that’s why gift giving is his way of showing affection, he knows that it is one thing he cannot mess up.

The problem is that money and gifts is NOT what OG Cale needed. I think what that guy needed the most was a parent who wasn’t afraid to talk to him, to ask him questions. Not to say that Deruth gave up on OG Cale, but I think in a way he gave up on OG Cale by giving up on himself. Deruth didn’t trust himself to have the capabilities to talk to OG Cale, which is why he never did. It’s because that Deruth was scared, and didn’t trust himself, that he could never face OG Cale

If Deruth was able to trust himself a little more, and pull himself together, I don’t think OG Cale would have turned out the way he did. As a kid, he probably thought the only way he could help his family without relying on anyone(no doubt this whole ‘I have to do it myself’ thing came from the fact that he couldn’t rely on his father when his mom died, and instead was acting as a pillar of support for his father when it should have been the other way around) was to sabotage himself, the only heir. If he was shown to be unfit to be heir, then everyone else would have no choice but to direct their hatred towards him instead of his family.

If Deruth had talked to his son at least ONCE when he was a kid, asking him why he was upset or why he did the things he did, I think OG Cale would have told him. Why? Because he’s a kid!! A kid will obviously want to rely on his father, if he just had one sign telling him that he didn’t have to do it alone I’m 90% sure OG Cale would have said something.

Basically, while Deruth isn’t the worst father, he’s not really a great father either. I think he does do his best, but he has issues with communication lol

OG Cale and OG Choi Han are both complex characters and had their own reasons to behave the way they did. The thing is with people is that they’re complicated and have layers, so the situation with them would have layers behind it as well with multiple co-existing truths and stuff

#guys I’m a big fan of Choi Han #and I get sad when people bring up this scene and all the blame is on him #like okay he was wrong but if YOU saw your entire family dead and some random rich boy started yelling abt how their lives were worthless #you’d be mad too no? #like his feelinsg were totally justified cause OG Cale was REALLY mean in that scene #‘their lives are worth less than the bottle in my hand’ OHHHHH OKAY OG CALE THATS ENOUGH THATS ENOUGHHHH #I love OG Cale but u have to admit he wasn’t very nice when he was younger #like the statements ‘he had his reasons’ ‘being trash was an act’ ‘he wasn’t a bad person’ ‘but he did say bad things’ can co exist #yes being trash was an act but he is ALSO capable of saying mean things and things that are wrong #LIKE TELLING THE GUY WHO JUST GOT HIS FAMILY MURDERED THAT THEIR LIVES WERE WORTHLESS #HE WAS NOT INNOCENT FOR THAT #Younger OG Cale is not a black and white character #and neither is older OG Cale but this post isn’t abt him #okay I’m gonna bring up someone who isn’t from TCF #but take Eunyung Baek from no home as an example okay #eunyung did bad things and was a bad person because of his childhood right #the reasons to being a bad person do not take away the bad things he did #but just cause he did bad things and was capable of them did not mean he could not change #I love OG Cale a LOT and I just think that his character has a lot behind it #Older OG Cale is obviously very different from his younger self #years and years of war and tragedy have matured him and like he’s not the same person he was anymore #okay back to Choi Han I love that guy I will defend him with my life #beating up people is wrong yeah but with the circumstances I’d say OG Cale had it coming #like okay it would be different if it was unprovoked but it was very much provoked #I swear I love OG Cale I just think he was very wrong for that #not to say he can’t change or isn’t capable of change he definitely is #idk I guess my point is that OG Cale was wrong but he changed as a person #and OG Choi Han was wrong for beating him up so much but it wasn’t unjustifiable #tcf #lcf

[milimeters-morales]

i’m getting so many pro-israel propaganda commercials on my TV back to back and NONE of the coverage about what’s happening to Palestinians and not even the happier moments you’d think they’d try to twist as “Look at HAMAS forcing these HORRIBLE PALESTINIANS to say thank you after INNOCENT ISRAEL HOSTAGES were rescued by israeli troops” or “these kids are smiling and laughing it’s not that bad and all the photos you see of kids torn apart by rubble and missiles are fake”, they’re even using stuff the white house has literally walked back (but because Joe Biden keeps repeating it, that shit basically doesn’t matter to these people) and i’m not surprised in the slightest but damn the difference in what i’d see vs what my parents and grandparents would see is staggering. And the few family members that show me videos of children, covered in wounds and dirt and blood, saying “the jews did this to me” as a sort of “gotcha” on why supporting Palestine is antisemitic honestly blow my mind because you’re really going to focus on how a 6 year old, who lost so much in so little time, is using certain terms? You’re going to police this literal baby’s choice of words when they could die within the hour? You’re not going to focus on the adults who already think this way and already cause so much harm IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY??? You’d rather use a child’s possible last words as evidence that all Palestinians hate Jewish people and should be massacred??? You have NOTHING better to be doing??? Do you seriously only care about Jewish people when you can use them to further mass genocides???

#and the answer is yes they don’t care about us . they don’t care about ANYBODY unless it serves THEIR ideas. #like of course a kid blaming jews for all of this is bad but are you serious???? they’re like 7 years old!!! they’re gonna use the words+ #that they have!!!! they’re in shock!!! they’re horrified!! they’re angry!!! of course they won’t say ‘I hope all israel people who had a+ #hand in this stop this and NONE of the israel people who didn’t have any control can live peacefully with me :)’ #like be so serious. #plus if you use your fucking brain then you’d know that them saying that probably doesn’t reflect what they mean!!! hell there are videos+ #of kids SPECIFIALLY hoping Israel pays for what it’s done to them and nowhere do they mention Jewish people. don’t be a dumbass!! #palestine #free palestine

[hoperays-song]

Marcus and Fighting

Ok, I wanna talk about something real quick: where did the fandom belief that Marcus is aggressive come from?

Like he's not? The few scenes where we see him upset are scary, yes, but he never physically lashes out at any character in them. He slams his hands down on a table in the jail disownment scene, which is a common behavioral cue of frustration. And he looks mad... which makes sense because he's in jail! I don't think many other people would be that happy about that situation either. Yet he never hits the glass, threatens his kid physically, or raises his voice more than one time. Did he handle the situation well? No, but I wouldn't call that straight up aggressive.

He was upset and frustrated, so his body language said that. He's in an extremely stressful situation and is having to mentally process a lot. Everything is going to be big emotions for him, but that doesn't make him aggressive for feeling those.

And as for the bank robbing stuff? The nearby police didn't know of the crime until the alarm goes off. Most banks have a hidden button at every desk that deals with customers that alerts police silently of a robbery. The fact that the nearby police were clueless means that button was not pressed and therefore the people in the bank likely didn't see them either. They didn't hurt anyone.

And then, when they were caught by cops later in the movie? They didn't even try to run, let alone fight. Marcus, along with the others, turned himself in without any fuss. Not what you would expect if someone was a violent and aggressive criminal.

And as for in the second movie? Neither Marcus, Stan, or Barry throw the first punch. In fact, they only act defensively. They're trying to keep the guards out of the theatre. That's it. They don't go out of their way to attack Suki or Jerry when they are just standing there because they aren't posing threats to the troupe. And the gang was just defending them, not going out and picking fights.

See? Jerry was fine, despite clearly being a Crystal employee. If Marcus or any of the others had been trying to hurt people, he would have been hurt. But they left him alone.

They even wait to make sure that the guards are going to attack them and only move when they do, going by school rules of "never throw the first punch and make sure you have witnesses to prove you didn't". Technically, since they did that, they could argue self-defense.

And they did also give them the chance to just walk away as well, gently pushing Jimmy away when he tries to get in.

Sure, Marcus enjoys boxing. But that doesn't mean he's an aggressive guy. I did years of martial arts and was pretty good at it but I still flinch when I see people get paper cuts and avoid conflict like the plague. It was just a sport I liked. The same is probably true with Marcus.

Besides, we see Johnny do boxing as well and I don't think anyone could possibly ever call that ball of anxious energy stuffed inside a theatre kid's body aggressive.

Marcus is not actually committing acts of outright aggression in the two moments that he's commonly marked as being aggressive in. Instead he's upset/frustrated and protective. He never actually harms a character without an actual reason to do so, with the only reason we see being his son potentially being hurt. He's not aggressive, he's just a parent with emotions.

#sing #sing 2 #sing marcus #sing big daddy #if i see one more thing about marcus being aggressive i will scream #like hes a criminal yes but there clearly werent victims of his crimes. the banks didnt alert anyone (theres hidden buttons in most banks) #and hes upset in sing 1. should he have taken it out on johnny? no. but that means he made a bad parenting decision not that hes aggressive #sing 2? as someone who was trained to fight i can tell you they acted defensively. he was just protecting his son #im using dictionary definitions of words #also just because characters act in an aggressive manner in certain scenes does not make them aggressive over all #marcus has big emotions rn and can you blame him? look at what happened within like a year. i would have big emotions too

[kingdumkum]

the idea of being roommates with your fav and coming home one night heartbroken not wanting to talk about it…. until they get you to open up and you admit that guy you’ve been seeing said you’re a bad kisser... what else is your fav to do but offer to kiss you, bc he’d never lie to you? and—well, you should probably do it again, just to be sure… maybe one more, just in case the first two were a fluke… what’s that? he also said you didn’t give good head? we can fix that too…

#bc my brain is running train on boys who genuinely think they’re being helpful and doing what they can to make things better #they just don’t think with their upper head if you know what i mean #they really have the best intentions but who can blame them for getting a little out of hand after? #yes this is denki coded #but also connie #and also yuuji #fragments of stardust #and also also oikawa #don’t get me started on baji either though #send help hanma too

[dangerous-advantage]

(Image description below 'read more' line.)

[Image ID: A four-by-four alignment chart on a white background with text descriptions to the left and to the top of the squares.

The top left description reads, "seems like they'd be good at parenting." The top right description reads, "seems like they'd be bad at parenting."

Then, from the top down, to the left of the squares, the other set of descriptions reads: "excellent child rearing instincts," and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Each of the four squares contains an image of a different character. At the top left is an image of Lan Wangji of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the descriptors "seems like they'd be good at parenting," and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the top right square sits an image of Wei Wuxian, also of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the junction of "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the bottom left square is an image of Xie Lian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the square with the captions, "seems like they'd be good at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Finally, in the bottom left square, sits an image of Hua Cheng from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the junction between "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life". /End ID]

#look ok #i see all the cute little fics with xl and hc talking about becoming parents and etc etc #and that's cute! that's adorable!! let them be happy!!! #but. you have to admit ok. hualian need to work through their own problems #like c'mon. xl picks up like AT LEAST three kids in the book and then proceeds to forget about one on his shelf for a while #just kinda. stands judgmentally with his hands on his hips about guzi and qi rong (it's really funny though don't get me wrong) #and after finally re-capturing lang ying he's like 'i'm gonna guardian you!' and then a whole bunch of shit happens and uh well #ly turns out to be the ghost of some kid xl traumatized 800 years ago come back for vengeance (L) #which means xl traumatized him multiple times lmao #we aren't even touching qi rong and lang qianqiu which YES i know the latter wasn't xl's fault and i am fully aware that the situation with #qi rong is and was complicated. BUT. come ON man can these poor kids never catch a break? the one kid he DIDN'T accidentally traumatize #turned out to be obsessively in love with him so like maybe this is for the best? #anyway i also just don't think they'd be... genuinely interested in a commitment like that? like hc would go along with anything xl wants #but he doesn't seem the type to be interested in kids (he's mostly just interested in xl) #xl isn't off the hook either ok #people bring up hc's treatment of e'ming but xl isn't exactly a saint to ruoye. i dont blame the guy he's got a lot on his mind #but he's also very.... absent #plus with the responsibilities of their respective positions all their extra time is like. spent on eachother jk? #this isn't to say xl doesn't *like* kids or anything i just don't think he would want to be a full-time parent lmao #also they DEFINITELY have their own issues with themselves as kids and i'm afraid that might translate into like. parenting #meme #tgcf #mxtx meme #tgcf meme #xie lian #hua cheng #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan zhan

[presiding]

What is your favourite thing about Billie Lurk?

(Answers are obvious possibly but i love when people talk about her👍)

thanks for the ask!! YEAH ME TOO I love when people talk about Billie! I can't say I have a favourite thing specifically, but I can explain why she's my fav. apologies for not taking this qn literally, but -

short answer: she’s really cool

& you can stop reading there, or, for the maybe 2 mutuals who might have time to read this my thoughts on her as a character, her meta, and her character as raw potential...

long answer:

i considered making this entire thing a gush so you could read a gush about Billie. but, part of what draws me to her is that she’s not always well written, and in fandom she’s underrated for a literal protagonist.

since you ask...

billie is a cool character

when I played Dh2 (hadn't played Dh1), I was excited to see a black woman with disabilities who was captaining a massive ship by herself. wow.

then I discovered Billie’s backstory with Deirdre, the way she responded to that, then having to survive while living on the run, and her bisexuality. as well as her history with daud & delilah. fascinating!

she’s an outsider who has so much to lose, and knows what it's like to lose everything - having lost everything not once but three times - but nevertheless speaks truth to power. she's so brave! she went and helped Emily & Corvo and she must have known they might kill her! plus, she’s smart, she’s funny, she gets shit done, she’s gorgeous.

but... the meta

mild critique of fandom & arkane incoming.

skip this bit if you want - you've been warned twice now - jump to tired Hayao Miyazaki and read from there if you'd like my thoughts on writing her.

i thought Death of the Outsider was going to be amazing and then... well. *sad trombone* i've written about that before so i won't keep banging on. i figured others must be disappointed too, so I joined a few fandom spaces in hopes of finding camaraderie.

most people with complaints about DotO didn’t like how the Outsider and Daud were handled. which is valid & I agree. but it seemed like most paid no attention to Billie; when people talk about her it’s with respect to Daud, as opposed to in her own right. you could argue for fandom misogyny because people don’t talk about adult Emily Kaldwin that much either, but in Billie's case, it’s misogynoir (compare & contrast with the popularity of thomas, particularly the popularity of thomas portrayed as a white man for no particular reason that i've been able to discern - i keep asking around, is it in the books???).

i think this is a LOT better now than it used to be, which is fantastic. or perhaps i have found the correct echo-chamber? ha.

ultimately, The Fandom is a fraction of the entire picture, and not even the important bit since The Fandom is not who these games are made for. you can't make money relying on only your hardcore fans even if all of them spent a fortune on merch, this is true for any AAA game.

while it's true that Billie is underrated from a fandom perspective - but Billie as an underwritten protagonist is squarely Arkane’s fault.

it was reasonable when she was a side character - the lack of info in Dh2 makes perfect sense (if anything there was more lore in Dh2 which is kind of wild)-

- but as a protagonist in Death of the Outsider?

.... there’s lousy writing, and there’s whatever is going on with Billie Lurk, a black woman who mostly exists as a foil or saviour for light-skinned characters. In her own game there’s barely any of her own lore except where it's relevant to saving two dudes.

lore hints at, but barely touches on what race means in the Dh universe (xenophobia is stronger in Dh1; separate essay i guess), but Arkane has patted themselves on the back for portraying non-white characters, which feels like the same thing as the aesthetic of diversity we're seeing in advertising currently because it’s in marketing trend guides. it's self-congratulatory and it's a missed opportunity for deeper storytelling.

you can see an example of diversity at its most shallow in the way that Billie’s written: there’s little engagement with her as an entire person with history & wants & preferences, and the world she walks through in that game feels like it has nothing to do with her. you could make a case for alienation as a theme, but then, how do you handle the titular premise of 'Dishonored' without ever letting Billie make changes in an environment without a chaos system? it's disappointing from that angle too.

in my opinion, whatever it's worth, it was an accident Arkane created such an awesome character - they needed someone to betray daud. congrats billie.

all this said, it makes her an underdog as far as characters to enjoy & create art & stories for. it's nice to find so many like-minded, switched on people! <3

billie's character potential

she’s got a wealth of unexplored lore, being deeply intertwined with both Karnaca & Dunwall’s fates & criminal underbellies, as well as her connections to the witches & whalers, and three Empresses.

she’s lived a few distinct lifetimes and in the games we get to meet her at two peaks (KoD & DotO) & a low (Dh2 as Meagan).

her voice is very distinct, her dry & often dark humour is entertaining & fun to write. her perspective is really interesting - she’s had the widest variety of void-powers of anyone canonically, and she’s also lived through the highest highs and lowest lows.

she's got everything going for her :) i couldn't really pick a fav thing!

#i assume my followers are cool enough to let me give a brief measured critique on fandom trends and DotO #thanks for the anon question!! what fun! #i love billie lurk <333 #jumped on the opportunity to rant n rave #what part of billie isn't my fav! (im a guy who likes the bad stuff too. mmm interesting meta) #trying to be not unfair or mean- i'm not targeting anyone but rather trends. and it's ok to be disappointed with something you love #fuck it. make it part of the appeal! her writing sucks! plenty of room for me & other creators! #its easier for me to indulge my billie brainworms when it sorta feels like she's not getting as much love as she deserves #you know? i want stories where her history is explored and her agency is important so i guess i'll roll up my sleeves #tumblr is a terrible place for this sort of critique IMO- lots of nuanceless empathy-free guilt-trip-ish rhetoric #so i hope i avoided that. but not so much that i seem forgiving. #that said i'm not tagging this one with fandom tags! no thank you. #i am blaming arkane yes. but that is also not without games industry context #i could complain about amateurish writing but that also never happens in a vacuum. industry problem(s) for sure. #people love to blame writers for things #and yeah a couple really fucking good writers can push a boulder uphill #but its usually a company problem #hire lots of diverse people in your company. give them authority and respect and reasonable workloads. and no crunch. #ah fuck this is a separate essay in tags. again #THIS WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION #*clutches head in hands* #uh if you're still reading at this point im SO sorry and thank you and i love you

[notmoreflippingelves]

What she says: I'm fine.

What she means: I just don't understand how the showrunners of EoA expected me, an English major, to cope with their explicitly and visually coding Elena and Esteban as narrative foils and two sides of the same coin throughout S3. And they weren't even remotely subtle about intertwining their characters, destinies, and relationship with each other.

They were just like "what if we gave Esteban and Elena the exact same unique, transformative experience (i.e. falling in the crystal well and absorbing its magic) but ONLY them.? Then maybe, we explicitly seal up Takaina so that no one else can ever have that same experience again?"

And then if that wasn't blatant enough, they each get magical powers that are specifically tailored to their most notable character flaws (Esteban's running away from his responsibilities vs. Elena's emotional intensity and volatility). And if that still was a little too subtle, they also get matching sparkly outfits as souvenirs from their trip down the magic well. So that in every scene they have together (with the exception of the Coronation scene) from then on visually links the two of them together.

Like all of that is just barely scratching the surface of the thematic ramifications of this. Because at the end of the day, Esteban and Elena each metaphorically (if accidentally) gave the other their corresponding powers.

Esteban canonically gets his teleportation because Elena's new anger powers literally lift him up and throw him down the crystal well.

Similarly, Esteban is (albeit much more indirectly) somewhat responsible for Elena's magic as well. It's somewhat implied that the reason Elena is able to use the Scepter of Light in the first place (when presumably her parents and ancestors could not) is because of the Maruvian magic that she absorbed from her years in the Amulet. Crucially, a very real part of the reason that she was even in said amulet in the first place is due to Esteban's decision to smuggle Shuriki into Avalor. His (admittedly terrible) choice led to Elena's ability to use her greatest weapon and that very weapon (via spying on Ash with "Farsight") is what eventually leads Elena to Takaina where she gets her additional emotion powers.

That's canon, baby. Esteban's actions in the past indirectly give Elena her magic. Elena's direct (if accidental) actions in the present give Esteban his.

All of this alone is already more than enough to make me absolutely feral, but they just have to up the ante even more in the series finale. Esteban uses his teleportation powers to take the magical bullet for Elena; Elena uses her own emotion magic to bring him back to life after his sacrifice. They use their powers--the same powers that they technically gave to each other in the first place--to save each other.

And then, if all that isn't enough, they proceed to use each other's powers together in order to defeat the enemy. First, Esteban is able to break Cahu's hourglass by using Elena's scepter, and then the two of them are able to send Cahu back to the Spirit World through the combined power of the scepter and staff. They've converged into one tight, solid, united force for Good that is powerful beyond imagining.

And I am deeply insane about all of it.

#tfw when you fall into a magic portal and get soulmate-coded by ancient and mysterious forces beyond your control #yes i said 'soulmate-coded' and i meant it but like the concept of soulmates is not inherently romantic #i mean I'M gonna ship them but i'm certainly not expecting others to #elena of avalor #esteban flores #elena castillo flores #estebalena #kinda but also not kinda #i'm also insane about the fact that they used BATB as a visual + thematic reference for Esteban's sacrifice and resurrection scene #but like...can you blame me? it's BATB after all #what kind of english major and film appreciator would i be if I didn't go feral at even the vaguest implication of it

[natjennie]

anyone else out here a middle child saddled with eldest daughter responsibilities?

#a bumper sticker that says 'middle-child neglect and eldest-child duties' #i want to believe it started when my older sister moved out but. lets be real. it's always been me. #i am genuinely acting care-giver to my chronically ill younger sister while my dad watches basketball on the couch #and my mom doesnt get out of bed. #like. my mom is pretty sick too and works all day and does most of the housekeeping too #so i dont blame her at all. #i mean i guess my dad works all day but. for real king you can't get up off the couch to support your daughter crying and heaving #no that falls to me. yeah yeah I'll get her a drink and make sure she takes her meds. #what's that? yeah I'll rub her back and run a cloth under the sink and bring her something to eat too. #oh? yes fine I wont take a gummy so i wont sleep because she's in a flare up and needs them more than me #to be clear!! I'm not blaming her either like clearly she feels like shit and she feels guilty all the time #i just. some amount of help from anyone else. or at least maybe. idk A DAY I can rest when i feel like shit #but oh- no- she's coughing up bile again. yep I'll come bring a bucket.

[craycraybluejay]

i need a sweater or tshirt that has printed bold and in all caps:

YOUR TRAUMA

IS NOT

MY PROBLEM

#trauma #not my problem #tshirt design #literally do not trust anyone who uses the word trauma anymore thats how far theyve twisted the meaning #oh? you're traumatized? which ex boyfriend is it this time? #oh you regretted something you did with him despite being the one to ask for it and not indicating any discomfort or anything like that #oh so its his fault then #because um... youre 2 years younger #omg i know thats super wrong and illegal hes an evil groomer #he traumatized you so bad by... not taking you out to a nice restaurant on valentines day #oh? he's 'delulu' cause he had a crush on you? well that we can agree on #this blog is not a safe space for bitchy judgemental assholes with no sense of personal responsibility #over any of their actions #most insufferable trait ever #'its not my fault DX' yes it is? #abusers use that often. that its your fault and not theirs #that they treat you like that because you MADE THEM love you #or because theyre uwu traumatized #or because someone made them mad and its not their fault for acting like that #anyone who refuses to take blame for anything is a major red flag #if you meet someone like this. run dont walk away

[dysaniadisorder]

i hate how normalized military is in the us im gonna rip my hair out

#i just. was talking w friends today #one of them was talking abt how he was almost convinced by the recruitment lady to join the navy and i was like. dude #and i was talking about how messed up it is that they send in people like that and catch kids like him #and my friends were like. you cant really blame her for doing her job. its her JOB like yes. it is her job. its fucking Bad #my best friend got all angry cuz his dad was in the navy. babe idc if he didnt actually fight he shouldnt have done it ♡ #''people get drafted'' you have to dodge the draft. #''thats illegal'' yes. this is a requirement for if you are drafted. you Have to just not. #no one said action would be comfortable nor convenient. in fact it is going to be almost none of either #you are gonna have to face that the military murders human beings and your dad is not any better #and people who its ''just their job'' to do it chose that job. and they know #''you cant get mad at the worker woman; you have to get mad at the institution'' no im mad at the individual woman too #just because its your job to manipulate kids and kill Arab people doesnt mean its okay #''not everyone in the military is actively fighting'' no! they arent. but they are helping those that are. #they are not complicit but actively helping. you have to do anything and everything you can to just Not Fucking do that #ANYONE in the military has failed being a decent human 101. being in any part of the military means you are okay with centuries of genocide #and encourage even more. its not 'just your job' you are OK and more for relentless murder and i wish you harm #anyways. sometimes repeating & internalizing the things ur parents say means watch our for road traps and the beatles are good. #sometimes it is US propaganda and just because it is in your own house and coming from a loved one doesnt mean you cant not fall for it #edit not to mention him saying this the day after aaron bushnell died. dude #unethical jobs exist. it is everyones job to bring them down #''its just her job'' was Bushnells sacrifice not fucking enough for you??? and the millions of dead Palestinians????? christ

[indigodawns]

.

#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but #realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me #and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it #did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean #that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice) #but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this #i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd) #and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need #when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with? #(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how #he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything #and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like #giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh #they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like... #well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi) #anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet #but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that #and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig? #and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting #i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying #and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

Seeing your post about toxic doomed Yuri burgertron/spudmuffin changed my brainwaves. I read it and was like woahhh they ARE toxic doomed Yuri

there is a top 10 messiest breakups botvid and spud / burgertron are in the #1 spot and i will not be considering otherwise. they could have been THE power v-shaped polycule with ulf but fate aligned their destinies and it was not written in the stars . pouring one out for the combo meal of all time 😔✊

#botbots tag 🏪 #you've got mail 📬 #tf botbots #botbots #transformers botbots #i choose 3 believe burgertron Does miss spud btw. #it hurts him a lot and he DOES still keep the photo of them and ulf on his wall in his nest #idk how 2 describe it but it's like. just because he knows what he did was the correct thing #doesnt mean he Isn't going to grieve #spud isn't Dead but he mourns all the same #because he *lost* someone dear to him #there's also the aspect of me hcing burgs w/ bpd and spud was one of his FPs so after everything happens i hc he black and white splits -- #-- a lot because he's under a lot of duress (something i do when someone i love does something bad) #botbots dont have therapists so i think the rest of the lost bots'd help him out with that but i am not going to sugarcoat it #he is a DISASTER . (ENDEARINGLY) #and then there's the days he feels like a bad person for even being the reason this happened in the FIRST place #when it wasnt . it was never his entire fault and some of that blame DOES go to spud because he never took the liberty of just Asking #and yes burgertron didnt know but can you really blame someone for setting events in motion when theyre oblivious??? #he didnt know. he couldnt have #and that just adds to the tragedy of it. had burgertron known and spud just taken the appropriate course of action the show'd be different #but of course we all know it didnt go like that #i could talk about them for a while and the fallout of the games bc holy shit there is so much and they make me insane #THANK YOU for giving me an outlet 2 speak and im so glad i could open your eyes to burgerspud yuri #they are So tragic i hope they recover and go to therapy

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 26

"Songs About Rain" by Gary Allan

#song of the day #you might think that this is the opposite of 'Groovy Little Summer Song' but nope! closer to same because (drumroll) #they are one of the very best categories of thing: Country Songs About Country Songs #I love them. I adore them #'Songs About Rain' is one of the strongest and best examples of type I have (also 'Cheatin Songs' by Midland. impeccable) #'and it sure ain't easin my pain / all these songs like / Rainy Night in Georgia / Kentucky Rain #Here Comes That Rainy Day Feelin Again / Blues Eyes Cryin in the Early Mornin Rain #they go on and on and there's no two the same / oh it would be easy to blame / all these songs about rain' #what a gift. what a delight. legitimately hard to sing this song in a mournful voice because it makes me so damn happy #anyway as you might glean from how this is posting at 3 pm my time: my sleep schedule is /fucked/ #I did have part of the bad conversation with my boss on Monday (immediately followed by garden times #which so overtook me that I spoke only about the garden and good spring feeling in my song post. what a blessing the garden is) #but mostly what happened is I said 'hey it is technically possible for me to make this but it will not help it will not do anything useful' #and my boss said 'but you can make it' and I said 'yes but we shouldn't. it will be a waste of time' and she said 'make it by Thursday' #and I said 'I absolutely cannot make it by Thursday. if I finish instead this better thing I've already been working on--' #and she said 'no we don't care about that thing. make part of the useless thing. by Thursday morning' #and I said 'if I bring you part of the useless thing and part of the good thing and I directly compare them in front of you--' #and she said 'we'll look at whatever you have Thursday morning but it's the useless thing we care about' #so the meeting is scheduled and I'm going to plead for the life of my better thing and probably the best I'll get is permission to do both #which is. I mean the useless thing is going to be a time-waster for sure but at least it won't be actively detrimental to anything? #it'll be fine I'll make it be fine. the inherent problems of when your boss doesn't actually know what you do for them I guess :/ #(also maybe. maybe if it comes down to it. maybe I'll just make the good thing for myself and use it to make my own life better #and someday maybe they'll ask for a project that works and then I'll be able to dramatically unveil it but either way I'll benefit from it #hmm maybe yeah)

[youremyonlyhope]

L0ok I get the whole "sharing the clothes because they literally split into two" thing and I get that Ncuti Gatwa is very fit and handsome and is probably the only Doctor actor who would ever be willing to spend every single scene in his first episode in his underwear, but it just felt disrespectful.

No pants for the entire time?! Seriously? They couldn't even have a member of UNIT toss him some uniform pants after the Toymaker was put in the box?

#doctor who spoilers #dw spoilers #doctor who #ncuti gatwa #(i'm american when i say pants i mean trousers don't you brits panic.) #i get that people are like 'oooh his legs' and yes he has great legs but pleaseeee why the ENTIRE TIME. #his first tardis flight and he's in his UNDERWEAR #like on top of literally having to share his first episode and not even getting to say 'i'm the doctor' #and instead having to say 'and i'm the doctor' then on top of ALL of that you leave him in his underwear #ncuti hon i would not have agreed to that. doctor who hire me for your wardrobe department. #the costume designer was Pam Downe and she also just did Mr Malcolm's List so girl i KNOW you can do better #like i enjoyed what you did with Ten's outfit being different from Fourteen. #i just wish you had told them to put Fifteen in some pants once the story allowed. but it's not totally your fault. #i blame RTD2. but if i had been on set that day THIS would be the moment i'd speak up and risk getting fired #for telling a director i didn't like the direction of that scene

[abstaind]

why do some writers think it’s enough to simply exist and that they don’t have to put in any effort to communicate with anyone but then be confused when they don’t get any partners? they will never like any of your plotting calls or reply to other peoples open starters or send messages but then make you feel bad that you can’t read their minds that they want to write with you? i don’t get it. roleplaying is a duet. a collaboration. making it a one way street just zaps all the fun and energy out of it. i am not saying you have to be super active and bend over backwards all the time, i am saying just put in a sprinkle of effort and enthusiasm and you would be surprised how much other writers appreciate and value it. it’s a sure fire way to make partners for life. i have been writing with one partner i met here on tumblr for 12 years and we have written together through many different fandoms/phases/mediums. communication really is key and you can gain so many great partners by just making yourself known and participating in the community around you.

#was this prompted by somebody having a meltdown in a small rp community i am in? yes! #they just couldn’t accept that simply following someone isn’t enough to show interest to write #and they started passively aggressively blaming everyone else that they didnt have many active/loyal partners #this applies to people who submit to those rp finders too #if you’re only ever putting out what others can do for you and not what you’re willing to do for them #it just doesn’t interest anyone and people won’t be inclined to engage #sorry just needed to vent #hope this doesn’t come across as mean #i have just witnessed the tumblr rpc (especially the smut/kink side) dying a slow death over the years #and it’s sad when it can be prevented

[inutaffy]

canonical (?) depression after s3 buddies !!!

#besties who wallow in despair together stay together !!!! #this is actually a true and proven fact me and my bff nyx and tals r proof #anyways now you get to hear my unfiltered thoughts abt mike depression #DO I THINK IT WAS SEVERE? no not really #DO I STILL THINK HE WAS DEPRESSED? yes absolutely #from that lucas on the line quote to that s3 endinf shot where he was obviously!!!! singled out i mean duh i would gather that #i mean after all that's happened id be concerned if he didnt #and TO ME the s1-3 writing was consistant with mike (if we going to he comphet route) #so obviously he felt like he lost the best thing that's ever happened to him #and obviously he's going to be upset and closed off #and obviously he's gonna feel like he can't tell anyone about it #and obviouslt people are going to notice a change in attitude #i'm so glad eddie helped him tho #high school is hard enough but bro lost his bestest best friend to the horrors that is california /j #and starting w dustin and lucas and max was good yeah but max was in worse shape than him and #lucas wanted to join BASKETBALL #the popular kids who fuckinf bullied them #and though the logic was solid it didn't work #and lucas knew that deep down ! i'm not blaming him thi #product of being bullied all ur life is trying to fit in wherever u can but then u realize it's whatever . it's ok to not fit in #high school sucks anyways #<- mike was right abt that #anyways in terms of mike he mightve felt a little betrayed by his ACTUAL BEST FRIEND (not the love of his life lmaofofofhho) #bc i mean #bro WAS hanging out w the enemy 😭😭 #i'm not demonizing him AGAIN. #and yes i think eddie helped him. I KNOW HE DID. bro anyone who thinks otherwise just hates eddie 😭😭😭 #he got his hair like eddie...... he started playing dnd again!!! enjoying it!!!! #looking forward to it !!!! #he did ditch a friend tho but i think it's the only way he felt like he could be connected to will