#and a flipping hate that society's trained us to do that

[charliedawn]

Hey, I don't see any post saying requests are closed. Please correct me it I'm wrong, and I'll resend this ask when they're open :)

I saw one of your slasher posts about an new patient who was an omega and I've been wondering how a/b/o au slashers would react to a beta new patient who they saw as their own pup?(basically everyone is a father figure to this kid lol) I love platonic fluff and you're one of the few slasher writers who write platonic stuff and I love your writing, please stay hydrated and have a good day! :D

Here you go 😁 And thank you.

Freddy Krueger:

"You and I…we gonna be best buddies."

Freddy is a beta. Meaning: no real dominance or protective instincts.

He’d basically laugh his ass off while you run around and cause havoc or eat popcorn with Pennywise while they watch.

He’d train you in the ways of 'don’t give a toss' and 'get outta my way, bitch'.

Freddy would still protect you if he sees you in real danger, but he’d be the type of cool dad who just wants to chill and walk around in flip flops.

Brahms Heelshire:

Brahms would be a worry heart.

He’d worry 24/7 about you.

Have you eaten ? Have you drank ? Have you slept well ? Are you hurt ? Do you wanna play ?…

He’d cry his eyes out if he sees a scratch on you and whoever would dare cause you harm would end up beaten up.

Brahms is strong—even though he is an omega. He’d be the one to take care of you and make sure you’re perfectly safe.

Arthur Fleck:

Arthur would give you the best advice. He’s a beta—but used to be an omega. He’d have the heart without being overemotional about things.

"Don’t worry, things can look up. You just gotta wait and see."

"Be a doll and smile. Smiling will open up many doors for you."

"Do not listen to Freddy, sweetie. He is a bad influence. Matter-of-fact ? Do not listen to anyone else but me and Michael."

He would be your voice of reason in your darkest moments, but don’t ALWAYS listen to him because he is a patient for a reason…

Penny:

Overpossessive. Overprotective. Overthinking. Overdoing.

Penny would be the embodiment of "over-the-top". Doesn’t have any chill and would bite and scratch if anyone as much as looks at you the wrong way.

He can also read minds…which can be kind of a problem.

Penny *growls at a nurse* : "I DARE you to say what you want to say, coward."

He would also be very playful and play with you all day long. He’s got unending energy and would even put on shows for you.

Michael Myers:

Michael would be the only responsible one, as the Alpha of the slashers.

He’d make sure to never allow you near his knives or any sharp objects. He’d teach you self-defense. He’d also cook for you and teach you all of his skills (non-lethal)

He would also protect you but, would always use a weapon that won’t be too traumatic for your adorable self…like a baseball batt or a something else to just knock out the person who dared attack your person.

But Myers ? Myers would kill for you.

Myers has no parental instinct or remorse.

He kills because he can.

Father Paul Hill:

Father Paul—as a Beta—would protect you with his life. He always wanted to be a father and would immediately take you under his wing.

Comparing to other slashers, you could almost call him a pacifist. He would never start a fight. Never.

He would teach you and give you a proper education. He would also take care of you and give you the affection you need.

And if you get hurt ?

He’d protect you—no matter the cost.

Father Paul *covered in blood and crying* : "No…No no no…Not again. Please. Not again."

Patrick Bateman:

Patrick Bateman would teach you how to kill and get away with murder. He is a Beta himself, but always hated that title because he always saw himself as an Alpha.

He’d explain to you the human anatomy and how to chop off a body in the most efficient and effective way possible.

He would also teach you the ways of society and bureaucracy like no one else could. Patrick is very observant and dangerous. He has no empathy.

Meaning: Make sure he KEEPS liking you.

Patrick *looking at you and wondering if having a kid is worth it and how he’d do it to get rid of you before smiling and locking the thought into a very far away box at the back of his mind*

Vincent Sinclair:

Vincent is an Omega. He would fight tooth and nail to protect you.

He’d also let you braid his hair and you’d draw together or do some fun artsy activities.

He’d show you how to do pottery and play with clay to make animal shapes or even human-like.

But, Vincent is in therapy and is being closely monitored and watched so he wouldn’t show you how to make wax people.

He would also be very affectionate with you and give you a lot of hugs, unlike Bo who would just pat your head and call it a day.

Jack Torrance:

"Let’s get takeout." Jack’s favourite sentence.

Jack would be a very lazy and chill kinda dad for a beta. He would take you to movies or read you a book.

He also loves food so…he’d get you pizza or nachos and you’d just settle on the couch with him and do nothing—just chilling.

He’d be the dad you go to when you don’t wanna do anything and you’re tired. He’d also be the type to live in his pajamas and tell you that it’s too early at 1pm.

You would then just sleep or he’d tell you things about his old life if he’s up for it.

He would protect you if you are in danger, but he would make sure that you don’t get into trouble in the first place cause you can’t do no wrong when you’re chilling all day…

#freddy krueger x child!reader #brahms heelshire x child!reader #arthur fleck x child!reader #penny x child!reader #michael myers x child!reader #father paul hill x child!reader #patrick bateman x child!reader #vincent sinclair x child!reader #jack torrance x child!reader #slashers x child!reader #dad slashers #slashers au

[ghost-bxrd]

Keep going I want everything *holds up a note pad* give me angst

*slides glasses up higher*

Okay, you asked for it! Get ready for some really cracky ship content on the side of more Court Family au!

Bruce grows up learning high society and Court etiquette mostly from Alfred and some trustworthy Court members and quickly decides that some things need to change. (He may be morally flexible here but he still wants to change things for the better). He still puts up the Brucie mask in front of High Society, but now he does it with the goal to gather blackmail material from as many people as possible and indebt them to him for potential use down the line.

Bruce becomes Voice of the Court when he turns eighteen and immediately starts uprooting several of the more corrupt members of the Court, instating new people into the ranks that will benefit the city as a whole. He makes some enemies this way, naturally. And soon after the Cout’s Talon is tasked with Bruce’s safety at all times.

Bruce and Cobb do NOT get along. At all. Mostly because Bruce is determined to make Talon’s life even harder by trying to slip away from his sight every other second. It’s infuriating. Cobb considers literally sitting on the guy after only one week. (“Try bailing on me now, o’ honorable Voice”)

Bruce spends several months strategically implementing new laws and projects that will benefit the Court AND Gotham in the long run, making it a point to go to the most important meetings in person, even if they happen to be between criminals. (Cobb was so, SO tempted to let Black Mask shoot the idiot that day.)

Within two years human trafficking is close to nonexistent in Gotham City, lethal crime is down a good ten percent (which isn’t much in the grand scheme of things but for Gotham it’s almost biblical) and whispers of “Batman” are omnipresent. (Cobb considers asking if slapping his Voice would be considered treason but… it probably would. Even though Bruce really deserves it with such a stupid cover name. Owls HUNT bats… couldn’t he have chosen Owlman?)

(“What’s your name, anyway?” Bruce asks one day, flipping his tie into a neat Windsor knot that’s just passable enough to not be considered sloppy. “I am the Talon of the Court, my Voice.” Bruce hums, one elegant eyebrow raising in the stark reflection of the mirror, “No, your real name.” “It’s whatever you wish it to be, my Voice.” “You know what I mean, Talon. If you do not wish to answer, then I will not make you. But do not play me for a fool.” “… Cobb. William Cobb.” Bruce blinks, the left corner of his mouth tugging upwards, “Will… I see.”)

The first time a traitor nearly succeeds in killing Bruce is when he once again slips away from the Talon’s sight, and while Bruce is still well trained he’s no match against five people with guns, sedatives, and a mission. Cobb finds them right as they’re about to shoot Bruce in the head and goes absolutely feral. (He hates Bruce, he hates Bruce, he hates Bruce, he hates-)

Bruce wakes up back at the manor with a pissed off Talon standing in the corner of the room, keeping watch and refusing to talk to him anymore beyond what he’s ordered to. Sneaking away from the Talon after this becomes virtually impossible for Bruce.

Cobb keeps giving Bruce the cold shoulder for months to the point where Bruce becomes genuinely concerned, but the Court scientists assure him that their Talon is running at a 100% capacity. (That’s not what I’m asking, Bruce wants to scream. I want to know if he’s okay.)

(Cobb wasn’t worried, he wasn’t. He watched countless humans die in so much worse ways already. Inflicted worse himself. It’s just because he almost failed his mission and allowed the Voice to be killed that he’s so unnerved now. That must be it. That’s all it is. That’s all.)

Dick’s parents fall and Bruce is up and out of his seat the next second, pushing through the masses until he can clutch at the child and cover his eyes, shielding him from the view of his parents’ dead bodies. Social Services never get to put their hands on Dick Grayson.

The Court is ecstatic. Cobb is ecstatic. From tragedy, opportunity blooms like a rose with poisonous thorns, and the Talon stands ready to take on his apprentice as the Court broaches the subject with Bruce.

But Bruce (idiotic, stupid, bleeding-heart Bruce) refuses point blank. (“He’s a child,” Bruce says. Like that means anything. They were all children, once. He’ll grow out of it quickly enough. And the boy will make an excellent Talon, perhaps even surpass Cobb himself, with time and training. Maybe more capable at keeping the Voice safe than him, too. But then Bruce says, “He’s my child. My ward. And any of you who think to go against me will answer to the Talon and myself.” And, oh, damn you, Bruce. Damn you. But what else is Cobb to do but lift his head and stare down the Voice’s subject in silent challenge, daring them to object? Bruce is his Voice. Talon will never not side with the Court’s voice. (He pointedly does not think of the time he slit another Voice’s throat. He does not.))

Dick is anger and fury and sunshine and it drives Cobb crazy. The raw potential that is lost with Bruce’s refusal to allow him to train the boy… he cannot stand it. There will be another Talon before long (Cobb is not bitter about it, he is not) and with Dick the protection of the Voice would have at least stayed within the line of Cobb’s blood, but now… now Cobb can’t be sure the new Talon will take their task as seriously as the boy would have.

Dick is the one to approach Cobb for training before he ever goes to Bruce

Bruce nearly has a heart attack the first time he finds Dick training with the Talon, ripping the boy away and screaming at Cobb for nearly an hour about “orders” and “NOT a Talon” and many other things Dick doesn’t really get

Bruce asks Talon to bring him Zucco’s head and Cobb will forever deny the vindictive pleasure he felt when watching the smarmy man squirm and beg for his life (he didn’t get fond of Dick. Cobb doesn’t do fond. He hates him almost as much as he hates Bruce, thank you and good day.)

… okay I just realized none of this really qualifies as angst but— somehow this post got away from me. I’m sorry 😭😭😭 feel free to ask for more specific angst content tho? 🙏

#I warned ya’ll about the ship #I will take no criticism #this is my new fav crack ship lmao #this au headed into such a wildly different direction than originally intended #but somehow it’s fun? #also Cobb may dent it all he wants but he cares so much #Bruce is onto him #so is Alfred #ooo angst could be if the court as a whole decided the need to usurp the voice #and order cobb to assassinate him #oh no poor talon #talon of the court #court owls #court family #batfamily #dick grayson #bruce wayne #William Cobb #headcanons #au #court of owls au #batfam #batman

[bibibbon]

MHA 412 leaks (rant)

Iam not a fan of the leaks I really am not because wtf is going on?!?!?!

1) THIS !!! THIS WAS ONE OF THE WORST THINGS TO COME OUT OF THE FLIPPING MANGA. What the actual hell like there is no izuku introspection and also I get the idea that's being displayed here but it was done horribly in my opinion. It also doesn't make sense on applying this ideology to shigaraki considering that he literally told shigaraki he could never forgive him because of what he did to Eraserhead.

Look not giving up on the idea of people being able to change could be a good thing and idea that could be explained through midoriyas character and making him a symbol of hope. However, that doesn't excuse the horrible stuff going on between bakugo and izukus dynamic. Izuku has clearly been shown having negative feelings towards bakugo (as he should) and we should of seen those negative feelings explored this to me feels like an utter BS of an excuse to be like no izuku is just naturally a living saint which IS ALSO UTTER BS. We have seen izuku get mad and fight like a lunatic a whole bunch and now Iam supposed to believe that izuku can never feel a bad or negative emotion towards anyone because of this?!?!!?!?! The bakugo redemption fails due to many things but the main thing is the lack of izukus thought. about it.

Here is the thing YOU CAN FEEL NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND HATE SOMEONE BUT STILL HAVE HOPE THAT THEY CAN CHANGE AND BECOME A BETTER PERSON but horikoshi does this to make bakugo look better?!?!? Why?!?!

2) ALSO THIS?!?!?!!

Wdym izuku has to give up the thing that he had to gain so he can win?!?! How is he gonna win is horikoshi going to make this a vestiges fighting eachother type of bs whole izuku defends himself quirkless somehow ??!?!??!??! Also why is it that he is THE ONLY CHARACTER WHO IS GETTING CONCEQUENCES?!?! Like you have tokoyami and hawks who lost their quirks but gained it back because AFO died so why not ( NO CONCEQUENCES) and then you have bakugo who LITERALLY CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD (no concequences) the only real concequences there were are some injuries then and there but that's it nothing big for the major and fan loved characters happend they're all alive and fighting.

If the point was that izuku could of become a hero with no quirk then shouldn't if he just become a quirkless hero instead of suffering getting a Quirk more suffering more suffering losing a quirk and more suffering!?!?

3) Also don't even get me started on how dirty shigarakis character is being done this guy wants to destroy stuff for fun not because he believes that the only way to rebuild a society suitable for him and his friends is by destruction or another ideology no he is just a psycho who wants revenge against THE WRONG PERSON!!!!!

4) wasted potential. IZUKUS LACK OF INTROSPECTION AND POV MADE THIS HORRIBLE. like it could of been good but it fell off horribly due to the fact that he didn't have any development and he is just jumping to ideologies. I think this ideology suits him but in theory he hasn't developed enough for him to have it in the first place. Also the lack of pov also makes us DOWNPLAY HIS BATTLE Strategy AND THE THINGS HE IS DOING. LIKE YALL AREN'T DEEPING THAT HE CANT BREATHE THIS GUY MAY DIE OR GET SEVERE BRAIN DAMAGE BUT IS STILL FIGHTING LIKE A MADMAN and I don't see people talking about it all Iam seeing is "oh bakugo parallel hehe bs". Horikoshi then goes on to show us panels of izuku training and you can tell there isn't a lot because NO ACADEMIA ARC AND BAD PACING OF STORY. The idea of him destroying society's pain rug could of been cool but again not enough pov or introspection or anything

5) WHY IS STAR AND STRIPES HERE?!?!?!! Like did shigaraki steal her quirk because I forgot and if he did then why hasn't he killed izuku using her quirk that's so stupid. Horikoshi has told us and shown us that shigaraki wants death and destruction. He ruined shigaraki and is he now downplaying his intelligence or something or is this some plot hole because why is she here and why isn't her quirk being utilised also what happend to shigaraki using danger sense?!?!! Like I swear that stuff was active last chapter so what happend now can the vestiges just deny and not give him access or something but if that's the thing he can freely use ragdolls quirk.

ALSO SHIG AND IZUKU ARENT THAT WELL DEVELOPED AND ONLY HAVE PARALLELS THROWN AROUND WITH NO INTERACTIONS SO HOW IS THIS GONNA WORK

#mha critical #bnha critical #hori is a bad writer #horikoshi critical #mha #izuku deserves better #mha412

[vibingandsimping]

Gonna do my best here lmao. I’m tumblr illiterate nowadays but I’m always a thirsty ho who never gets cold ykyk.

Not sure I wanna give actual name (sorry),

Nickname: Moon

Age: 30

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Likes: I’m a lazy bones, I have a disability so I spend a lot of time doing little crafty hobbies when I’m able to. I struggle with taking care of myself so I need a little extra help. I do love horror movies, reptiles, and my current hyper-fixations are BG3, undertale, and flip book animations. Sorry if that isn’t much to work with haha. I’m a big animal lover and have always had many.

Dislikes: Large crowds/overstimulating environments, early mornings, the current state of society lmao and people who lack patience with other peoples needs and struggles.

Romantic/‘intimate’ likes: I’m a sub through and through. I like to feel small and like for my partner to take the lead. I’m all about intense power play when it’s with a trusted partner. Some more I guess specific would be hypnosis, pet play, kidnapping (fantasy), CNC, sub training, objectification, humiliation, and like let me be clear that I love traditional house/trophy wife AS FANTASY. I don’t want to get it twisted that I can separate fantasy and reality and can practice things safely with a partner I trust. I like mean guys, gals and pals.

Physical description: Short and thick. I definitely have an ass and thick thighs. I would be comfortable describing myself as fat but still getting used to the term and how it’s being reclaimed. I have brown eyes and olive toned skin. Lots of black hair that’s a bit longer than shoulder length.

The only fandoms in the list I really know much about would be BG3 and Dead by Daylight. I love me some monsters so I’m down for that.

I hope I’m doing this right and not wasting your time with rambling haha. I love your work and regardless I appreciate your time! Absolutely no pressure!

🌑

A hoe NEVER gets cold. No worries, i’m still learning tumblr myself. I do like the inboxes, though. Honestly, it’s perfect for writers. Also do not apologize for not wanting to state your name! That’s why I included self-insert/oc if people wish for anonymity!

I am also disabled… so some of this hit close to home. :,)

Kazan Yamaoka would like you. It’d be more like a doll deal honestly. You wormed your way into his vengeful and hate-filled life. You showed him a semblance of kindness. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. In turn, he gets to own you. Taking care of you financially and physically is nothing to him, honestly. It’s quite easy. Your needs are simple and helping you with tasks doesn’t take much from him. He’s strong and tall so he’s got that benefit.

He also takes very good care of you in bed. He’s more than happy to oblige to your kinks. It’s kind of a match made in heaven. He loves to feel big and strong. He’s got you splayed on the bed before him. His cock proud and daunting as it weeps. How in the hell are you supposed to take that? He growls at you in threat when you shrink away from him as he inches towards your face. His hand, so large it nearly wraps around your whole skull, grips your hair tightly. You part your lips in obedience as he begins to nudge them. His pre-cum coating your tongue as he slides each inch in one by one. You are already choking on half of it. His lips thin as he sneers at you. “I’ll turn you into my personal slut. I do like seeing you choke on my cock like a pathetic whore.” You moan around his length and he groans deeply. Fingers tightening their grip as he forcefully pushes a little more into your throat. Tears spring in the corner of your eyes as your airway is cut off. “Cry all you want, bitch. Fighting me is hopeless.” He glances down at you once more to confirm your desire. Then, he begins to fuck into your throat like the beast he is. Growling and ripping moans from you with each dirty and deprived phrase he utters. Your thighs rubbing together as your cunt clenches around nothing.

#my asks #matchups #🌑 anon #anon asks #my writing #dead by daylight #dbd #dead by daylight x reader #the oni x reader #the oni dbd #kazan yamaoka #kazan yamaoka x reader #dbd smut #dead by daylight smut #not sfw

[tristayranambrosio]

Vengeance/Satisfaction Day 4 - February 21 DWC

(Content Warning!!!: This particular story has very sensitive content and I urge any readers to understand the severity of that. The story contains Drug Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Prostitution and addiction, Power imbalance, Closeted Queer Identity and related pressures of society, and just all around awful. This is from Trist’s perspective as we’re flipping from him to Jezza for these writing challenges but you all NEED to know what you’re getting into Jericho is a -villain- he is supposed to be horrible, please feel free to hate him I know I do.) @daily-writing-challenge )

Jericho Archstone was a known peddler of vice in Silvermoon since far before I was born. His empire had been built on the backs of addicts, and what was worse he knew full well the horrors of what he did to those who were desperate. When they could no longer pay, he came up with increasingly creative ways to exploit his clientele, my mother was among them. He filled her veins with poison with the constant reminder that she had the choice… but she’d always make the one that got her more of the very substance that destroyed her. But my mother is dead now… I’m all that’s left, And after the thousandth time I destroyed his supply of illicit substances with their hateful effects that he expected me to use or sell, he had to resort to another way to gouge her debts from my flesh. By putting it on the market to anyone with as twisted an appetite as his. I tried to run… but unlike the guards of this wretched city his drug addled goons had more motivation than gold or the satisfaction of roughing up a bard that was better at seducing their lovers than they’d ever be… if these jerks caught me they’d get their fixes free of charge. It wasn’t as if I never tried to escape him… eventually I accepted I would simply pay my mother’s debts and give in to the monster’s satisfaction.

“Who’s the Brute then.” Jericho sneered at me fiddling with his rings counting them like he always did, “You holding out on me? I haven’t seen a cut from his visits.” “He’s not paying.” I say flatly, I’m bored, tired, long past thoughts of Vengeance for what he did to my mother, and so disassociated I don’t even register it’s for me I should be vengeful. “You’re giving it away for -free- now?!” He booms furious. “You don’t -own- me anymore Jericho. You had your money a year ago. Leave me alone.” I say and never before had I let my voice sound so dead. “That’s fucking bull shit, slut. You still sell yourself, and I want the cut I deserve for -raising- you. Out of the goodness of my HEART!” I want to scream, roar… but I don’t, I simply reply the way I’ve trained myself to, the way I learned to meet even monsters with. A soft pity in my tone, “You need to have a heart first… all that’s left in you is a cruel organ that only draws satisfaction from your golden idol and your ring of loyal addicted followers.”

“You know every once and a while I think you might be my hellspawn and then you spout some shit like that. What’s he PAYING to leave those bruises on you? It’ll spook other buyers.” He scoffs at me, giving my whole body a disgusted once over, unimpressed as always despite the small fortune he got off selling me to lonely people who just needed to hear they were wanted. That was part of why I didn’t hate what I had been for him… the junkies couldn’t afford me, so I was often thrown to people who thought the only way they could have someone like me would be to pay. A fantasy that could convince them I loved them at least as long as the gold made it into Jericho’s pockets. So many of them were just lonely, some of them I helped assure, gave them the confidence to pursue those they longed for or just… forgive themselves for the mistakes they made in their lives. Convincing them they were better than paying for me generally pissed Jericho off but the gold he made shut that up. “I told you. He’s not paying.” I remind him. Bored. “You’re fucking a Orc-Chiefling brute that would be disowned for consorting with a whore like you? If he was paying he might actually retain some dignity in their eyes, but no you’re just giving it away when you should be threatening to expose his deviance, Is that the plan? Get him in good then get the hush money out of him when he’s good and hooked? Maybe you are Daddy’s little leech, the fruit of my very loins.” He smiles at me with all teeth as he stalks after me, long strides keeping pace as I try to just get back to the Curtain. The reminder of what he took from my Mother for years and the implication that he might be my sire sticks like tar in my insides and I want to be sick.

“There’s no -plan- Jericho. I’m not exposing anyone. Leave. Me. Alone.” “No just fuckin him and risking his discovery. You know -I- don’t give a rats ass but I know that clan of uptight jackasses. They won’t like that their Chief’s son is dallying with a washed up elf Whore, no matter how pretty.” “It's none of your business or concern.” I make to storm off but he grabs my arm and sinks his nails into my skin painfully, and for a moment I’m the scared boy I was when he came for me the first time, when he demanded the gold I’d made playing and singing and took everything but Hypernia and my Rose… I feel small and afraid and know this man was the one that had killed my mother slowly while I had to watch her wither away into madness... How do you fight something so huge, that sees us like chattel that bleed gold into his coffers. “That’s where you’re wrong, little boy.” He hisses into my ear, “You -are- my business.” I find my voice but it trembles out of me, “Not. A-anymore. I paid you all my mother owed. I worked for it, you got everything, l-let me-” “No. Give me what you have. I want you to PROVE all you’ve got in your purse is the chicken scraps that your beloved DIRECTOR gives you.” He sneers at the Cabaret again… my sanctuary, my safe haven from him… and I realize he’s sizing up a target. He’d tried to buy the place but Nestor wouldn’t sell nor would he allow Jericho’s goons to peddle for him on the premises. It was by no means a dry or sober place, but Nestor didn’t want anything to do with the Archstone empire… The only reason they were in jeopardy was because of me then too, because Nestor took me in when he caught me sleeping under his tables. I tremble at the thought of those inside coming to harm because of my refusal to comply and I shove my coin purse into his chest then wrench free, “Take it. Leave me alone!” I take off but I don’t run… if I show anyone it puts them at risk… Jericho doesn’t need the meager wage in my purse… its not about that. Its about reminding me that the world doesn’t like people like me, people who refuse to lose their faith in others because of monsters like him. I will never give him the satisfaction of breaking me.   

#roleplay #moon guard #world of warcraft #wow oc #warcraft rp #short story #trist'ayran #bard #dark themes #tw abuse #daily writing challenge #@daily-writing-challenge

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

Tumblr doesn’t let you reply using your side blogs so this is the best I can do 😭.

Anyways, here’s why I hate Hitoshi:

Simply put, he’s a hypocritical dickhead.

The first time we meet him, he’s taunting 1-A for getting attacked by villains, a traumatic moment for the class. That already doesn’t paint him in a good light, which would be fine if his writing’s good, but it’s not. We then see him mind control his OWN TEAMMATES, which is fucked. Him doing it to an enemy team I understand. It’s part of the competition. But he did it to his own team, who didn’t even get a chance to answer him before he did so? That’s kinda fucked up and breaks a lot of consent boundaries. He also leeched off of them and relied on their abilities to win. Other than the basic “hide in the shadows technique” he did nothing but spam his quirk.

Secondly, a lot of people criticize Izuku for not training his body beforehand, but the fandom somehow forgets that Hitoshi doesn’t either. In fact, he’s even worse in that he hasn’t trained at all. Izuku at least took to analysis, but Hitoshi does absolutely nothing. He got beaten by an Izuku with a broken finger, and in that fight all Izuku did was push him and then flip him. Hitoshi throws a hook at him and it does nothing. I get that Izuku’s at peak physical strength, but if Hitoshi actually trained his body, he’d be able to at least stun him or try judo throwing him or something. Instead he just flops around pathetically and cries. While we never see Izuku learning how to fight prior to U.A, I have two theories on this: either the extra training he did while working for OFA that made him collapse was fight training or he knew how to fight beforehand but wasn’t strong enough to really use his skills effectively. Keeping these two possibilities in mind, what’s Hitoshi’s excuse then? And if Izuku never learned how to fight, it just makes Hitoshi look even worse since somehow Izuku was instinctively able to pick up on some basic hand to hand combat skills while Hitoshi was bitching about his life or some shit.

Third, he’s a hypocrite in that he hates 1A and the other hero courses for their powerful quirks yet he has a powerful quirk himself. Yeah, it’s not flashy, but it’s still stronger than Toru’s (and despite what the fandom thinks, it’s not canon that the robots have an off switch of some kind so if the invisible girl can get in, he has no excuse). He also solely relies on his quirk for the Sports Festival, unlike some of the other characters who’ve actually utilized strategies (Izuku literally didn’t use his quirk for the first part of the Sports Festival or when fighting Hitoshi after freeing himself from the mind control). So Hitoshi seemingly hates people for doing what he does, which is dumb.

The narrative also sucks his dick off, trying to make the audience feel bad for him and letting Shota train him despite him not doing anything that shows he’s worthy of receiving said training. Sadly any attempts at making me sympathize with him doesn’t work for me cause he comes off more as a whiny bitch than someone screwed over by society. If anything, in his flashback, we actually see people praise his quirk, which lowers the impact of his backstory. He also comes off as entitled, as if he thinks just because he got bullied for his quirk it means he’s deserving of being a hero. Sorry, but he didn’t do shit to achieve his dream nor does he possess any heroic qualities. Literally the only reason he wants to be a hero is because his heart desires it, which I’d let slide if he didn’t feel like he was owed a seat despite not working for it. You got other characters who suffered and still worked their asses off to reach their dreams, characters he made fun of and demeaned after they faced such a traumatic moment (the USJ) just because they were born with “strong” quirks (which again is kinda hypocritical of him since his quirk’s better than a good chunk of 1-A and 1-B’s).

In conclusion, he’s a hypocritical dickhead who gets handed things on a silver platter, kinda like Katsuki. I honestly consider him to be Katsuki-lite. Both are dickwads with a superiority/inferiority complex who think it’s ok to be a jackass and never get punished for doing so. The only difference between them is that Hitoshi isn’t a vile abuser who nearly kills his victims, hence why he’s the “lite” version of him. Once again, he’s another character with a solid concept but is poorly executed because Hori forgets that the little things are what makes a character. Had he shown Hitoshi training and more of his backstory, he’d be in a decent place, but Hitoshi comes off as a whiny hypocritical bitch rather than a passionate individual filled with cynicism due to having been dealt a bad hand in life.

#anti bkdk #anti katsuki bakugou #anti bakudeku #anti bakugo katsuki #anti bakugo #anti bakugou #anti hitoshi shinso #anti shinso hitoshi #anti hitoshi #mha critical #shinso critical

[uncertainwallflower]

FIC STATS GAME

Thanks for the tag @charmsandtealeaves! This was very fun and has honestly reignited my interest in some fics I’ve been ignoring… 👀

Rules: Give us links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most bookmarks, fourth most comments, fifth most words, and fic with the least amount of words.

Most hits?

Between the Desire and the Spasm. 1,538.

Summary: Trains are arguably the centre of everything. The sinew of civilisation for muggles and wizards alike. They are where all walks of life converge. Congregate. In synchronised traversal. Shared agony inflicted by the piercing screech of metal on metal, bonding all patrons aboard a carriage. And outside. A passing glimpse of someone you thought you’d never see again. Trains. They change everything.

Second most kudos?

The Virtue of Sharing. 55.

Summary: James prefers the Gryffindor common room armchairs over the loveseat. That is until he finds himself sharing one with Lily Evans and his whole perspective changes: a ficlet.

Third most bookmarks?

I Can’t Love Him. 7.

Summary: James Potter was an intolerable prick. A dim-witted, egotistical toerag who wasn't worth Lily's time. Well, unless, in the case of a good telling-off, that was very much worth it. This was true right up until the last few weeks of fifth year when Lily's whole life was flipped on her head, and she was left to work out what in Merlin's name to do with it.

Fourth most comments?

To Live Without a Heart. 8 threads.

Summary: James wasn’t home that night. It was the one decent thing Peter did, and James hated him for it.

Fifth most words?

Expectation’s Encumbrance. 3,517.

Summary: Miss Lillian Evans is entirely uninterested in marriage, thank you very much. James Potter, Viscount Godric, could not agree more. After an introduction from a mutual friend—one Mr Lupin—the pair form a friendship in which they laugh at the ridiculousness of their marriage-minded society together and pass away endless tiring fetes in each other's company.

Least words?

Nettle Wine & Commiseratory Snogging. 37.

Summary: Following a harrowing loss on the Quidditch Pitch, James is commiserated in the comforting confines of the Gryffindor common room: a ficlet.

Tagging: @merlinsbbeard, @kay-elle-cee, @liiilyevans and @quotidian-oblivion.

#tag game #bella was tagged #statistics #uncertainwallflower

[lucyglassesstuff]

Being kind to others is not pointless.

It took me a while to realize that.

To realize that being kind and loving does matter.

That it does make a difference.

That showing support and appreciation actually provokes change.

And what a huge change.

I don't know why I didn't realize it sooner, but my best guess is that a lot of us grew up surrounded by people who were tired of trying to fix a broken society so they stopped the efforts and taught us to not even bother, in the hopes it would save us from the trouble and anguish.

Or that's how it was for me, at some degree.

With a bit of observation to my own behavior, I realized I second guess every kind, nice, comment I have about anything or anyone.

"Should I say this?"

Should I say "Hey mom, you're looking so beautiful today" or "I think you're a smart and considerate person sis" just- out of the blue? Because I thought so?

It has always felt like that. It feels- weird to say compliments to others just for the sake of it.

Shouldn't it be their birthday or something?

Shouldn't there be something else than the mere want prompting me to do it?

Will I just look weird? Will they think I want something from them?

And with that kind of thought comes the flipped side of the coin: doubts about every compliment I get- Do they want something from me? What's the complicated squeam behind their kind words?

Is not a nice way to live life to be honest.

But still- I keep doubting before saying.

I doubt if I should smile at the people I cross while walking down the park.

I doubt telling the cashier her hair looks actually fantastic.

Hell, I even doubt saying "hello, good morning" or "bye, have a nice day" to some people.

And I love the people who do that.

I want to also be that people.

But anyway, since I always felt compelled to do it and I'm a sucker for finding less threatening ways of doing the things I want to do, I became a letter person, writing letters with the lovey-dovey stuff I don't usually say but always think, to give them to my family every once a few months.

Y'know, to not let them know I love them too much and all that.

We wouldn't want people knowing we like them and appreciate them, right?

Yeah, it does sound dumb. It is. It's- It's just- Why are we like that?

Why am I like that?

For me, the answer is quite simple: I'm freaking scared of people.

And yes, those we love are the ones who can hurt us the most.

By simple math, the more people you love the more chances you get of getting hurt.

No one wants to be hurt.

So we- Manage our love bank funds.

Tho, I personally think those funds are limitless. We're capable of loving as much as we want. But I also think is true you can love too much...

But anyway- to keep myself ontopic, your kindness, your words of appreciation and admiration do matter. They matter so much.

We are all way more confident and less reluctant when it comes to complaining and judging.

For some reason I have this internalized idea that having a lowkey kinda hateful comment equals to having a strong opinion.

As if we were really good judges of character, taking pride in our pointy noses.

I look tougher and rougher if I say a less kind thing.

I can't let everyone know I'm actually a Cinnamon roll and I mostly wanna hurt nobody.

I'll be taken advantage of if I let them see that.

I'll look weak and naive.

And blah blah.

Is a long train of thought that isn't even a train of thought to be honest. It's- like a code on a program: I don't think it word by word, but the code does make me hesitate before saying anything positive about someone else.

The worst part is that when I do convince myself to say it, I say it toned down, watered-down.

So, if I thought "Damn her skin looks so gorgeous! It's shiny, it's soft, it's radiant, all one cohesive color. God I want that skin!" I'll say "You- have a nice skin"

Yeah.

So I won't scare the hell out of her.

Or that's what I tell myself.

And I know this is just like- me exemplifying my previous rambling, but the point I'm trying to make is that we do not trust people's kindness when it comes from out of no where.

We're used to getting help and support when we are struggling.

Reason behind why when we do receive kindness we associate it with pity.

Is a long thing, but I just- I hope it wasn't like that.

But I've seen it happen: I've seen people being kind out of just showing appreciation and support and love for content creators that have helped them with their struggles.

Or just to- y'know, say "I see what you're doing. I think it's right. I agree with it. I'll support you doing it. Thank you for doing it"

And so they just- show love and support and appreciation and- how many times did I say those words already?

It's true for me too: there's so many content creators that I've been inspired by, that make me want to be a better person, that showed me that love does exist, that kindness is out there and people do want to help. People I want to hug and say thank you to. People I care about. People I wish good things upon.

And this takes me to a little add comment about the demonization of social media: The infamous internet is just an extension of society, and just like it, it's beautiful and awful at the same time.

We have created communities, we found people we care about, we make friends, we share, we support, we get inspired. Internet is an amazing add to humans relationships, but of course, like every single thing on existence, it has a darker side too. A bad side. An ugly side.

It's not this post's topic but I'm just so done with the entire thing-

It's- It's not- It's like saying life is a wonderful gift. Life can do no harm.

Bitch we have done harm!

We are life!

We can do bad things!

It doesn't have to be one or the other!

Life is beautiful! Is a miracle! Yes! And it can also be the cause of destruction for everything else!

I- That's it. I'm done for today.

The point got across... I belive.

And is a topic I want to expand on with its own post. So back to what we were saying: I'm in the process of learning to be more forthcoming when it comes to the good things I think of others cause yesterday I was told I look prettier everyday and that is still making me smile, so- I want to do that for other people too. And I want to mean it. I want to see into their eyes and say "you are actually marvelous. Go be wonderful today".

Because it makes me happy.

Because I do belive we're capable of such wonderful things.

This is not me trying to start a movement.

Thank all the divine for that movement has already begun and people do care, do want to be more loving.

I'm just counting myself in, and if I get just one more of you to do it too, I'll consider it a success.

Hell, if I get myself to be more prone to output my kindness into the wild world I'll consider it a success.

But still, do join. Become a loving cinnamon roll with the rest of us.

Being kind is not weakness.

It's taking me actual conscious effort to learn that.

And I'm sure it will take all of us a good while before actually integrating that knowledge into our way of living, but hey, we've been to the moon, we can just say more nice things to each other, right?

Final ideas for today: YOUR KINDNESS MATTERS SO MUCH.

Please do not refrain yourself from being kind to others.

And have a great day, night, evening, whatever is ahead of you!

#being kind #kindness #just rambling #idk what else to put here

[artzychic27]

MHA characters in aus

YES! I HAVE MANY LINED UP, TAKE YOUR PICK! (It’s mostly Deku-centric… It’s all Deku-centric)

Dad For One AUs

Villain in Training: Izuku was raised by his father after his mother’s unfortunate death due to a hero. Since that day, Izuku’s grown to hate heroes, and his father is just thrilled. He introduces him to the world of villainy at the age of four, and at age five when Izuku doesn’t get his quirk, All For One let’s him pick out whichever quirk he desires

Vaulted: Izuku was kidnapped from Yuuei by All for One, but before he could fight back, he has his memories altered so he believes that he was taken away from his father by heroes after they accused him of being a villain. And now that Izuku is back in his doting father’s care, there’s nothing separating them ever again… Except maybe a two ton steel door, but that’s just to keep the heroes away from Izuku

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Father Scorned: Hisashi never left, and he’s glad he never did so, because he never would have seen the horrors those brats and that “teacher” inflicted on his son. Well, if they’re going to use their quirks in such a way, then he’d be doing society a favor by taking them. So the next week at school, every student and teacher at Aldera find that they are now quirkless and Izuku somehow developed a pyrokinesis quirk over the weekend. Sweet karma

Izuku Born with a Quirk AUs

Medusa Quirk: Izuku has snakes for hair, and when he looks into the eyes of someone while activating his quirk, he can paralyze them for up to ten minutes, but it really depends on how much energy he has.

Addams Quirks: Based on the hit gothic comedy from the pre-quirk era, Izuku’s quirk alters him mentally and physically, making him desensitized to all thing gruesome, making it so poisons don’t kill him, and making him much paler while his hair becomes darker. He seems to be able to teleport, has visions, and plants die around him. Izuku and Tokoyami have seances on Wednesdays

Isabella’s Gift: Always teased for his “girly” quirk, Izuku never let that stop him from trying out for Yuuei’s hero course. After one bad day thanks to some assholes who just wouldn’t leave him alone, Izuku snaps, yells, and a cactus spurts right in the middle of the floor. Cue “What Else Can I Do?” He practices the new aspect of his quirk over the course of the months; and by the time of the entrance exam, he create weapons made from vines and stabs the zero pointer by having a massive cactus grow from under it. Anyway, he’s in the hero course, and over the first few weeks, gives life long lasting flowers to those he sees as his friends based on their meanings and creates a blue and white rose for Shoto

Misc.

The Midoriyas and Yaoyorozu Have Money Fights on Saturdays- The Midoriyas are modest when it comes to their wealth. They live in the same apartment building as their many tenants, they shop for groceries at some of the stores they own, etc. Izuku and Momo have been friends since they were three and even after Izuku didn’t get his quirk. Screw that. Brains beat brawn any day. They go shopping, do each others hair, threaten Izuku’s bullies with their wealth, look fabulous while flipping off some quirkists, and take the recommended exam in designer gym clothes

Seamstress Izuku: Izuku is in the Support Course’s design department. He learned how to sew at the age of five from his mom when he didn’t get a quirk and needed an outlet for his pent up frustration. By the time he was six, he was sewing ball gowns and selling them for huge amounts of money, and was able to get him and his mom their own home. Now, every time he comes home from school, he doesn’t cry. He sews. He created an Instagram account to show off his work and cosplays as heroes and villains while critiquing hero informs and making them much more practical than they are and creating upgraded versions of their support gear. He gets a DM from Nezu one day, offering him a chance to try for Yuuei’s design department. Of course, he gets in and redesigns all the hero course students’ costumes, ‘cause they were trifling, especially Yaoyorozu’s and Hagakure’s. They all step into battles looking fashionable but also having functional clothing that doesn’t tear so easily and isn’t skintight on young girls’ bodies. He even redesigns Midnight’s outfit, using zippers instead of that tear-away fabric. And when he’s not designing new hero uniforms, he’s having the students (and teachers) model some dresses he made.

Izuku: Do you or do you not feel pretty?

Katsuki: *In a black ball gown* … I do feel pretty.

Izuku: Wonderful! Because you look pretty!

Izuku gets adopted by every Pro Hero- One day, Inko is late to pick up Izuku from school, and before his bullies could try anything, Death Arms swoops in and offers to walk Izuku home while reprimanding his bullies. Even when they explain that he’s quirkless, he shrugs and walks the greenette home. It happens again, only this time, it’s Miss Midnight. She takes him out for ice cream. Then Recovery Girl sees some assholes ganging up on him and strikes them with her cane, heals Izuku, but not them. While Izuku’s at the grocery store, some jackass who knows he’s quirkless harasses him until Best Jeanist steps in. He even buys Izuku’s groceries. Seeing their car broken down on the side of the road, Endeavor surprisingly gives them a ride home. And on the way, he receives a harsh lesson on parenting from the Midoriyas. Over the years, just about every Pro Hero has decided: I want to be Midoriya Izuku’s aunt/uncle/auncle. They go to the apartment in formal clothing, surprised to see the other pro heroes there and hand Inko the adoption papers. Now Izuku’s got like a hundred new family members who all share custody of him, but Inko gets more time because she’s the mom, of course

Izuku gets Adopted by Every Pro Hero, only Inko’s Dead: Twelve year old quirkless Midoriya Izuku receives terrible news: His mom is dead. No orphanage will take him in, he can’t get a job to pay rent, and he refuses to stay with the Bakugous. Things seem bleak until Pro Hero Recovery Girl hears about his dilemma while doing her rounds at the hospital, and he hears the boy saying goodbye to his mother. She heads back to Yuuei and explains Izuku’s situation, and immediately, every staff member wants to adopt him. Present Mic prints out the adoption papers and runs to the hospital while the others try to stop him. It becomes the custody battle of the century with dozens of pro heroes wanting to adopt a quirkless boy. They each state their reasons for wanting to do so until Izuku speaks up and suggests shared custody. The judge would’ve dismissed the idea of not for All Might threatening to Detroit Smash his ass into oblivion

#bnha #my hero academia #bnha au #ask me stuff #answered ask #midoriya izuku #au ideas #izuku has a quirk #Izuku gets adopted #mama Inko #some AUs

[bleachbleachbleach]

11/14-11/20/2022

Matsumoto era WHEN

WELL we made it through the week, so we’ll roll with that. This coming week should be less unpleasant. I have well and truly fallen off the "20 minutes every morning" train, so I’m going to try to formally restart that tomorrow.

I ended up not really working on Chapter 11 Renji outside of ~thinking about Kensei~, but I still want to finish out that whole chapter next week.

I’m also realizing that every time someone mentions Byakuya in this fic it is just like, one offhand line about some bananas thing he said or did. Which, I mean, I stand by that. XDD Byakuyacore. But part of me is vaguely worried that outside of the context of HOW MUCH I LOVE BYAKUYA it is really just going to read like OP is taking every opportunity to hate on Byakuya for no reason, not even plot reasons because Byakuya doesn’t even matter in this fic, really. You’d think this would be tempered by the POVs of characters who love him, but even in those circumstances I think it still just reads like, "Okay, but this thing that you just said that Byakuya said. That’s completely insane???" 

Again, I do stand by this and am entertained by this. It’s just that it’s EVERY SINGLE TIME. Byakuya voted for WHAT. He said WHAT? He opted to fund WHAT instead of WHAT?? It’s like some kind of Soul Society midterm election attack ad except THERE AREN’T ELECTIONS THIS IS NOT DEMOCRACY

HE SERVES FOR LIFE

Anyway, I did not write many words this week, but I did write SOME and did end up spending some quality time thinking through previously uncharted territory in this fic, namely Chapter 5 and 18 Matsumotos.

I didn’t really register this before, but outside of Rukia and Renji, Matsumoto is the only person in this fic who gets more than one full POV chapter! Her role is very different from theirs, though, in that her story isn’t driven by the plot. For her, the plot is a work assignment, around which she is living her life. I started out with several things I know she’s thinking about, but what specifically she thinks and when and how far she gets is going to be determined by how much time she gets to do it and in what plot circumstances, even as the plot itself is largely auxiliary to these thoughts. Which is kind of a wild ride, because there are things that I threw into either the Chapter 5 file or the Chapter 18 one, but they keep flipping between the two because they could really happen at any time! They’re not pinned to any plot event! They’ll look very different and have very different deliverables depending on where they ultimately end up, but they are freebird.

It’s also kind of weird because her two chapters are REALLY far apart from each other, one basically at the beginning and one nearly at the end, so there is this extensive gaping chasm in the middle where you don’t hear from her. I mean, it’s not like Matsumoto disappears for 13 chapters. She’s there lol. But she mostly doesn’t bring up these Thoughts through that span; almost all the things she says and does are largely in service to other things, other narratives. And she’s not the object of focus for most of those POVs. Hitsugaya is possibly (he is definitely) overly focused on her in his chapter, but he is only one chapter of 13. Hisagi, too, a bit, but Hisagi has too much going on to actually be useful. It makes me feel kind of sad. But then, I feel like that feeling may also be part of her story in this story.

#stories for the sea

[elatedfool]

That hc of 'your man'!!!!!!! Great,just so good,too good have a fic inspired by it. Can you please,please do a fic with alhaitham,and Dr. Ratio inspired by this one? Pleaaaaase,i want to see Alhaitham and Ratio being so oblivious of their behavior towards reader until the point they do notice and realize that they have feelings for reader and cant take it anymore and confess? Pleaseee Im begging you🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

of course <3 i'm sorry this took so long 😔😔 both are hinted to confess but the reader didn't accept or reject them.

reader is a nameless for veritas, and an assistant for alhaitham, both are gender neutral!

— veritas ratio

he's always thought highly of himself, that no one could reach his level. the doctor was also brave enough to diss even the members of the genius society, so... what changed?

ever since he gains access to the astral express' parlor car, there are two things that improved his visit: first, the archive. second, you.

you frequent the archive room whenever you're back from a mission, using dan heng's bed as your personal reading space. that was also how you two met—you leisurely manspreading on the bed with the blankets over your lap, with stack of books beside the bed.

his first impression was: why do you live like that? i like to think that veritas probably hates a messy environment, especially for studying and reading (i personally think he's a clean freak), but he decides to not disturb you and went ahead to use the data banks.

although veritas said he prefers reading physical books, he can't help but hop on the train more frequently. the scholar enjoys the peaceful atmosphere in the archive, with no idiots in sight.

and you still visit the place quite often, so veritas finds it awkward if you two are just... sitting there in silence, and he begins to chat with you.

he'll asks about what books are you reading and listen to you ramble about topics that you love. maybe if they're something he's well-versed at, he will offer you some random facts about it.

veritas finds you interesting, as he starts to pick up on your habits and stuff you do unconsciously. he doesn't usually took interest in anyone easily, yet here he is, silently staring at you instead of focusing on his notes.

he observes the way you scroll through the data banks, how you flip the pages of your books, and even the way your eyelids grew heavy the longer you read. before it could fell and get crumpled, the doctor would pick up the book in your hands and place it back where it belongs—no, totally not because he cares for you, he just doesn't want the book to tear apart, that's all.

the other nameless have noticed his 'softer' actions towards you, for example: march caught him placing the blanket over your sleeping figure when he was staying at the archive, and himeko saw how veritas' gaze was on you for the entire time you were thinking of which chess piece you wanted to move.

but one day, when veritas (surprisingly) did not come to visit the archive, you decide to have dan heng read with you, maybe sharing one book together and have your shoulder rubbing together? or have him read the story aloud as you drift off to sleep? whatever it is, the sight doesn't make veritas happy in the slightest.

when he caught you two all huddled on the bed, your head leaning on dan heng's shoulder comfortably, not even his alabaster head could conceal the anger rising to his face.

so you know what he did? he sits beside you and move your head to his shoulder instead, pettily glaring at dan heng. he doesn't want to see you cuddling with others but him now, and veritas knows he has to show you just how much better he could be.

— al-haitham

he loves to be alone, don't get him wrong. but the work of a scribe is starting to look not-so-simple and alhaitham is forced to hire a secretary—you!

your relationship was pure business. no chatter, not even small talks—a small 'good morning' and 'good evening' are all you could get from him before he puts that noise canceling headphones back on. if you told your friend that you work with him, they'll start sighing and patting you on the back.

if you happen to did something wrong, the scribe simply sighs and points out the mistakes before giving the work back to you. no yelling or tearing down the papers—as he believes that you're competent enough. if you aren't, why would the akademiya picks you to work with him?

his uncaring and aloof attitude annoy you sometimes, but it's also nice to not get have a boss that yells at you for every small mistake you made, and since this job is one that pays well, you decide to endure it.

seeing as you have improved, alhaitham will begin to let you handle more work than usual, and he surprisingly cares enough to left a note and a box of lunch for you! the note says that you can take a few breaks and to not forget to eat. and when your friends happen to find out, they'll start losing their minds over alhaitham's 'favoritism', shaking your shoulders and telling you that it was the strangest news they've heard up until now.

you brushed your friends' words off, yet alhaitham is actually starting to be more attentive to you—as you notice that he starts to leave the lunch more frequently, and he begins to talk to you more, even about the small things like your favorite book and whether you had a good sleep last night.

until one day, the lack of sleep and fatigue are catching up to you, leaving you unable to work for a day or two. you had asked your friend to tell alhaitham, but the longer they took, the more worried you get. what if he decides to fire you? the idea of sleeping beneath the akademiya's bridge did not sound appealing at all.

to your surprise, it's not your friend who came back, it's the stoic scribe, and what's even more surprising is the fact that he has a bag of medicine and fruits with him. what's gotten into him? this has like, 1% chance of happening, but here he is.

"i've heard from your friend about your ill condition." he breaks the silence, awkwardly placing the bag down before taking a seat on a chair near you, "i wish you a fast recovery."

he still spoke with that usual flat and uncaring tone, yet you know that getting those words out of him would require him to like you first, and it almost made you proud for a moment.

"will you... let me take care of you? i'd hate to see my assistant sick," he adds, reaching for the bag he brought earlier to reveal a box of porridge, "it has been a hassle to handle all those work alone," he almost sounds shy, as if he's hiding his true feelings.

truthfully, he is hiding his feelings for you. he did not realize the love gnawing on his heart, and he only managed to acknowledge it recently—thus the gifts appearing in your desk. yet he knew better than to confess now, as you're still sick and you'll probably would not believe him. he's content with waiting, just a little longer, and in the meantime, he will try to get closer to you.

#cottage's mailbox｡ #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr fluff #genshin x you #genshin x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin fluff #dr ratio x reader #dr ratio x y/n #veritas x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #al haitam x reader

[a-shared-experience]

The days aren’t getting easier. Alberta’s recovery model isn’t actually a thing. In the morning we take donation money from a coworkers mom and buy $350 worth of basics: snacks, juice, water, socks, deodorant, shampoo, combs, flip flops, nail clippers… things like that. It looks like a lot of stuff but in reality its mostly all gone in one shift. I run into a community member that had a soft overdose on the train. Someone had called the bylaw officers to have him removed and when they arrived to arrest him I told them we weren’t finished our medical assessment. I told them we’d take the individual to the inner city with us. Today they seemed down in a different way. They was depressed and whispered, “ I want out of this”. I shared with them my own story and reassured them that it was possible. I hated telling them that we were closed today and that tomorrow was a stat. Come see us on Tuesday and we will advocate for you. So much can happen between now and then. We stayed with them for awhile and just listened. Turns out they have a daughter. They were hiding out in hospital corridors from the days dreary rain. I wondered why they couldn’t get help at the one place that’s meant to help everyone. It’s so hard to walk away.

The next stop was morning coffee and I noticed a person stumbling through the mall. “ do you need help? Are you ok?” , I ask quietly not to make a scene.

I notice their entire leg is a big open wound. Abscesses everywhere , infection. I try to get them to come outside with me because we technically aren’t allowed to work in this location. They are so exhausted, so sedated and delirious that we say fuck it and sit on the plush bench in the upscale establishment. I try to stand in front of the nurse to create even the slightest bit of privacy.. curious onlookers surround us. Eventually I have to assist in bandaging up the leg which is seeping yellow fluid. It’s hard to look at and I wonder if my touch is gentle enough. Two security guards approach us and I step away to apologize and beg to let us finish. “ I’m sorry I know this isn’t ideal but we really need to do this wound care and I promise we’ll be quick, I’m really sorry… “

They cut me off and say they’ve come to see if everything’s alright. See if we need help. They thank us for helping and for everything we do. “ I really respect what you do” one of them says and I soften.

I’m not used to these types of encounters. Usually security comes to chase us away and make sure their guarded buildings don’t have “undesirable people”.

Usually they hate what we do and look down on us. They say we enable.

It was so relieving to have someone understand that we are compassionate and helping people with barriers to accessing vital healthcare services.

The reality is , if someone is an active drug user and houseless they are treated like a different class of society. They would wait long hours in waiting rooms in extreme pain and be kicked off the list the second they went outside to use. It’s why we see so many horrific wounds , beyond anything I could have ever imagined. The worst ones keep getting worse because there’s no safe supply and withdrawal management in our hospitals. Despite doctors knowing how severe , sometimes even fatal, withdrawal can be from opioids and benzodiazepines their policies inflict suffering on the sick. It’s not reasonable to expect someone in pain to willingly go into even further physical and mental anguish just to get antibiotics and some bandages. It’s insane really.

We finish up and I get the call from a manager that they have responded to a fatal overdose in an encampment. They were on scene waiting for police for 5 hours and then had to debrief and really support their shift partner who’d never seen a dead body before. They ask my team to go offer emotional support. We spend a long time there. We bring a lot of food and toiletries and even more narcan. I hold people while they cry, some are just returning to site and I’m breaking the news. I apologize for not being a good grief counsellor… I’m just a girl. I tell one woman that my family is French and we deal with grief by giving food and I hand her sandwiches, snacks and beverages and offer her my personal tissue to wipe her tears. She tells me she’d like to tell her brother herself , it was his best friend. I just nod.

We do some wellness checks on folks hiding out in doorways and I give extra cookies to a girl who says she hasn’t eaten in a few days. A houseless man walks past and offers her his food. I find this to be the purest form of human love.

Across the street is a quadruple overdose in a bus stop.

The papers are calling this week - a mass overdose. Multiple deaths, unbelievable strain on the healthcare system, trauma upon trauma upon trauma.

After lunch there’s more wound care, 30 more narcan kits, an hour spent in a cold wet loading dock with two people who are complete strangers. One shows me his methamphetamine and it’s clearly been stepped on. Crystals aren’t yellow bro I say to him. I advise of the latest drug seizure in the area and he tells me he keeps nodding off. We talk about the drug supply and he seems to honestly have no idea that he’s actually been doing fentanyl. He tells us “ my mental health is severely declining, I don’t want to live. No one will help me, I don’t know how to get out of this, I had everything and now I have nothing. I don’t even have a change of clothes” I ask him to look me in the eyes and I say “ remind yourself that you don’t want to live THIS life, but never forget that life is worth living and there are many ways out even if it doesn’t always feel that way” I share my story again and again and again. I want them to understand that pain is universal and so is hardship but that our pain is the source of our greatest strength and that I really really really fucking care about them. He tells me that he’s tried sleeping at the men’s shelter but each time he gets robbed of everything he owns. “ I have nothing, it’s all gone “.

I tell him that less than a year ago I became bankrupt, I had either multiple nervous breakdowns or maybe just one really long one.. I found myself maxing out my credit card to fly back to my moms house where I thought I might legitimately have a heart attack from such immense stress. I lost connection , my career, nearly my own home. I was angry and desperate for someone to listen to me and everyone seemed to perceive me as being dramatic when I tried to explain that I couldn’t handle another fucking thing. I was telling the truth. It was the most frightening darkness and I felt like even god had abandoned me here in this universe.

I thought I would combust.

I hated that life, I didn’t want to live that life and I had to ask for help to escape it. It makes me uncomfortable to read old journals that I wrote when I was suicidal. Everything was unbearable and bland. I was lonely. I was afraid.

I still ache for that version of me. I still lift my head and flare my nostrils in fucking rage and pride to protect her.

“ don’t give up on you, begin a new life, we can help you, let’s learn to be patient with one another”

The woman beside him can barely keep her head up. She’s injecting the toxic supply that is killing her version of society. She’s quiet for some time and then peeks up at me and says , “ my mom just died… I am lost”

I place my hand on her shoulder and tell her I coped through chaotic substance use among many other unhealthy ways. Losing my father was so devastating and i had no idea how to process it. It still hurts me in ways I can’t really express. “ will you inject outside of my work so that security can help you if anything bad happens. They are naloxone trained. Please let us grieve with you, let us sit with you and share this pain. You don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to go through this alone. The dope is lethal right now and I see you around a lot and I don’t want to not see you anymore. “

She apologizes for being mean to me. I tell her it’s ok. I’m kind of a cunt at times too. We laugh.

She offers the suicidal stranger beside her a place to stay. “ you can stay at our encampment so you’re not alone just don’t fucking rob us please. Don’t cause trouble. You can stay”

He seems guarded and I tell him.. the universe works in mysterious ways. She’ll keep you safe from sleeping on the streets , from loneliness and suicide and if you’ll let me .. I’ll train you on how to keep her safe”

I open the narcan kit and take out the vials and needles. I look at him and say “all you need to remember is JUST THE TIP” and we all laugh.

The needle is too long for the liquid in the vial. Insert it so that the vial slightly hangs off the tip, pull back the syringe and it will fill up to one mill. Don’t worry about air, insert into the side of the thigh or the upper arm and wait 2 minutes. No response, load the next shot. She’s gonna go down when she injects. Help her survive her heartache , don’t fucking steal from her. Come see me on Tuesday”.

I scold myself for paying for yet another Uber home. I never did find my bus pass or my healthcare card ( mental note to deal with this). I worked a 12 hour shift yesterday at a women’s shelter and 10 hours in the cold rain today. I’m tired. The rain is still beating down when i arrive. In the parking lot there’s a girl in a wheelchair crying. Are you ok? Can I help you?

She’s upset and has no one , nowhere to go. She asks me if I have a sweater or any supplies. I sprint up the 4 story walk up and grab needles, cookers, waters, tourniquets and give her my last naloxone and a green adidas hoodie. It’s too big for her small frame but it’s better than nothing. I talk to her about resources , she cries and says her family has all died on the streets. She asks if I know her friend but I don’t recognize the name. She asked me how many people died this week and I tell her I don’t know but that she shouldn’t use alone. I give her options- nothing of value because everything closed … just places where people can keep her alive at best. She thanks me and tells me she’s sorry she’s in my parking lot. She’s ashamed. I offer to call the crisis line or find her a ride to a shelter and she says she’s fine. She cries with the rain and I hate leaving her there. It’s hard sometimes not to feel guilty , it’s why I get so confused when people are ignorant.

I feel it, I feel it all.

I wish any politician would come down and spend a week on outreach with me. Open your eyes , how can you not see it

#harmreductionsaveslives #peer outreach #addiction #poverty #pain #hope #love #storytelling #community #antigovernment

[sfnewsvine]

Rachel Maddow Schools The Media On How To Handle Trump And MAGA

Rachel Maddow confirmed up on Alex Wagner Tonight the place she delivered an insightful lesson on how the press ought to deal with Trump and MAGA. Video of Maddow: Host Alex Wagner requested Maddow concerning the fascists in America throughout the Nineteen Thirties and the teachings for right this moment. Rachel Maddow stated: The entire level of, this I believe it’s subtle. It wasn’t like a kids’s guide. However it’s subtle anti-fascist strategizing. And so they’re saying, pay attention, if any individual is displaying up in your city, they’re attempting to inform you to hate Jews, hate immigrants, hate black folks, hate no matter it’s, flip folks in opposition to each other. There’s another that all of us have to be aligned in opposition to. They realize it’s going to be controversial. They’re hoping it would have an effect on you. They need the publicity. They could even need violence when it comes to confrontations between their supporters, their thugs, and people of you who’re outright. That’s what makes them really feel large and essential. Offers them extra juice. Offers them extra fundraising alternatives, strikes him on to the subsequent city. Don’t try this. Don’t publicize them. As a substitute, inoculate your group in opposition to these concepts. Inform them what they’re going to hear earlier than they hear them. Inform them how these are outdated concepts, that is how they’ve labored out in different places. Use training to make these things appear a boring and outdated information, not salacious, and trendy. And I simply — I really feel prefer it’s a media criticism — coming from the 2016 election. …. Properly as to, when any individual is attempting to make you outraged, that signifies that your outrage,that’s you taking part in their request –Don’t let folks yank your chain. Management the narrative your self. If any individual is attempting to take over the information cycle, by being outrageous, don’t take the bait as an alternative, describe what they’re doing quite than allow them to do it by way of you. That’s what I believe the message is and I want we’d been higher at it these final 5 years. All of the web sites on the left and in mainstream media that repeat what Trump says to outrage readers and viewers with out debunking it or offering context are performing as a megaphone for the fascists. These individuals who rely upon Trump outrage clicks and views are harming the nation for revenue. The media bought higher towards the tip of the Trump administration at not pushing his lies unchecked, however the harm was executed, and there are far too many web sites on the left that depend on salacious Trump outrage and quotes for his or her site visitors and income. Maddow didn’t say that Trump and MAGA ought to be ignored however that they need to be educated and inoculated in opposition to. Fascism doesn’t go away by ignoring it. Authoritarians are solely defeated when they’re outnumbered and pushed again in opposition to.   Mr. Easley is the managing editor. He’s additionally a White Home Press Pool and a Congressional correspondent for PoliticusUSA. Jason has a Bachelor’s Diploma in Political Science. His graduate work centered on public coverage, with a specialization in social reform actions. Awards and  Skilled Memberships Member of the Society of Skilled Journalists and The American Political Science Affiliation Supply hyperlink Originally published at SF Newsvine

#SF Newsvine

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

Whenever a male bee has sex, their balls explode, killing them. So if you ever see a bee chances are they're a virgin.

meanwhile, female bees die after using their stingers. so female bees die on the battlefield and male bees die in (kinda) childbirth. which is one of like 32 reasons bees are fantastic & intriguing 

(also roughly something like 90+% of honeybees are female, and male bees don’t usually leave the hive so)

#(also if you see a bee the chances are it's female #and yeah also a virgin #drone bees who go outside the nest are female #the male bees primary purpose is reproduction not to collect pollen) #this ask assumes the default sex for bees is male and i hate that #nothing against op but that's something we've been socially trained to do #(view male as the 'default') #even in the clear case of species where that is most definitely not the case #and a flipping hate that society's trained us to do that #sad fact sometimes i'm about to reblog a cute animal gif but then the commenter uses male pronouns as the default so i just scroll #i mean yeah it's not a big deal on it's own. you see a great rabbit and 'yes a perfect boi he's done nothing wrong ever in his life' #and that's great i freaking love fuzzy childrens #but i see dozens of cute animal posts a day and 9 times out of 10 if a random commenter uses gendered language it's 'he/him' #and that gets so freaking exhausting #it's this constant remind that if you're not a Him you're an afterthought #and the world isn't made for you #seriously can you just use 'they'? gender neutral language is extremely simple you already do it all the time without noticing #someone make a list of 31 other cool bee facts so i don't have to

[vintagegeekculture]

The Chinese Cultural Inspirations for Dragon Ball Z and Super

Journey to the West was only the beginning. 

A lot of people are vaguely aware that Dragon Ball was inspired by Chinese culture and Hong Kong Kung Fu movies and novels, but are unaware of how deep and long lasting it goes. The Japanese spent the 1980s fascinated by China, which opened up from being a closed society for decades in 1978; the most famous human being in Japan in the 80s was either Michael Jackson or Jackie Chan. 

In fact, a lot of people commonly believe that the Chinese action movie and Kung Fu novel cultural and media influence on Dragon Ball ended very early on. This is untrue. Sure, we started to see qipaos and cheongsams less frequently when they headed to West City, but it absolutely did not finish, because there’s tons of influence to see even as impossibly late as Dragon Ball Super. Interestingly, I don’t think any of these point of inspirations have been pointed out before, mainly because a lot of Chinese adventure novels are simply not available in English. 

 The Piccolo/Gohan plot was inspired by the Chinese action novel “Heavenly Sword and Dragon Sabre.”

Okay, tell me if you’ve heard this story before: a truly demonic, weird looking monster villain is defeated by a martial arts hero, but by circumstance, is forced into training his greatest enemy’s young son. The villain trains the young boy, the son of his enemy, in martial arts and over time, becomes like a second father or uncle to him and his family, putting the boy in his “evil” sect, and thanks to his love of his rival’s son, this baddie turns over a new leaf and goes from evil to just…grumpy, and becomes a loyal, though gruff, ally of the boy.

Of course, the events of Heavenly Sword and Dragon Sabre are a bit different from Dragon Ball in details. The Lion King becomes Wuji’s teacher because they are both stranded together on an island after a shipwreck, for instance, and he is blinded and made vulnerable. Also, the Lion King wasn’t so much evil so much as he was misunderstood by the orthodox martial world. However, in broad outlines, this trajectory for a face turn (becomes friends with his greatest enemy’s son, and becomes like a second father to him as he trains him, causing the villain to become a gruff good guy and ally) is essentially from one of the most famous Chinese novels ever written in the 1960s. 

Oh, and while we’re at it, Gohan is likewise inspired by another character from a Louis Cha novel: the Prince of Dali Duan Yu in the Kung Fu novel Demigods and Semi-Devils. The Prince in that novel is a naïve, pacifistic scholar who prefers books to fighting, and who was raised to be timid and avoid combat, absolutely out of step with his family, all of whom are martial artists and warriors. In fact, the beginning of the story is the prince gets incredibly lost in the wilderness, where the hopelessly naïve prince is utterly out of his depth, with all the robbers and scary beasts, and needs to be saved by real martial artists that protect him like fairy godparents. He spends the first part of the story running away from everything, scared as hell. However, by circumstance, he has naturally high power he cannot fully initially control, and eventually realizes that even scholars and others who hate fighting have to sometimes become fighters to protect those they love.

The Duan Yu part of Demigods and Semi-Devils was made into a film, the Battle Wizard, which was reviewed by PewDiePie. The Dragonball similarities went over his head because, honestly, PewDiePie does not strike me as a perceptive person. 

 Hit was based on the screen persona of Chow Yun Fat.

Chow Yun Fat was a Hong Kong cinema superstar who was to director John Woo what Robert de Niro was to Martin Scorsese. There are three giveaways that Hit was based on Chow Yun Fat. One, he’s an assassin, same as Chow Yun Fat’s character in the Killer, and is even given a sequence that’s a John Woo homage with an assassination in an office building with guns pulled on an empty elevator in an act of misdirection. Second, he’s wearing the single piece of clothing Chow Yun Fat is associated with, a black trenchcoat (fun fact: in Hong Kong today, trenchcoats are called Brother Mark Coats, after Chow Yun Fat’s character in John Woo’s A Better Tomorrow). Third, his power is essentially bullet time, a visual technique refined by John Woo in Hong Kong in the 80s and 90s in his gunplay triad movies starring Chow Yun Fat (what, you think the Wachowskis invented it?).

 The Goku/Vegeta relationship is from “Legend of the Condor Heroes.”

Here’s a story you might have heard before. It’s about two rivals, but by circumstance, one is raised in the wilderness beyond civilization, where he becomes an honest and goodhearted, though overly naive bumpkin, martial arts prodigy. The other is raised a wealthy prince by a conquering enemy, who grows up to also become an armor wearing martial arts expert, but also a cunning, arrogant, emotionally distant sociopath.

The similarities go into their love lives, too. The unsophisticated bumpkin hero is betrothed to a daughter of a powerful bearded barbarian king against his will, while the one hint of vulnerability and loss of emotional detachment in the otherwise sociopathic prince, the crack in his smirky arrogance, is that he loves a girl he otherwise pretends to hate, and even fathers a child with her who becomes a main character later.

This is Guo Jing and Yang Kang from Legend of the Condor Heroes. The most fascinating similarity, and proof that female psychology is the same all over the world, is that the fangirls love the emotionally distant, arrogant, and sexy/evil prince (remember when Rhonda Rousey said her first crush was Vegeta?). Girls everywhere love bad boys and sexy villains, and oh boy, do they love Prince Yang Kang. I think you can probably guess who all the fan art is about for Legend of the Condor Heroes, and what ship is the most popular.

I have to emphasize that Legend of the Condor Heroes, which came out in the 1950s-60s, is possibly the most widely read novel by the most widely read novelist on earth - the sales on that dwarf Twilight and Harry Potter. It’s probably not an exaggeration to say nearly every Chinese person, even if they never read it, knows who these characters are. In fact, Yang Kang and Guo Jing from Condor Heroes are basically repeated over and over in Asian, Chinese, and Japanese culture. Does the unsophisticated but gifted martial arts prodigy bumpkin hero, and the glib, arrogant wealthy prince rival remind you of….another duo of rivals?

Gohan/Videl comes from Little Dragon Maiden

One of the most important and influential Martial Arts novels of all time is “Return of the Condor Heroes.” A sequel to Condor Heroes, this time, the main character is the teenage son of one of the main characters from the first novel. It gets even more familiar from there.

“Return of the Condor Heroes” was about a martial arts couple who are also master and student, the same age but vastly different in experience and skill so one somehow seems “older,” and they fall in love because the circumstances of training together requires they spend lots of time together and become intimate. The training story and the love story are exactly the same in “Return of the Condor Heroes.” The dead giveaway one story inspired the other is that in both, the most significant training sequence is one where the master teaches the student how to fly (though Return used a chamber of sparrows for lightness Kung Fu).

There are some differences of course – obviously in Return of the Condor Heroes, the genders of teacher and student are flipped from Gohan and Videl (it’s the Little Dragon Maiden who is a powerful teacher, and the boy who is the student). It was the girl (Videl) who was a rebellious delinquent in Dragon Ball Z, when it was the opposite in the novel, true. But it was obvious this story was in the back of the creator’s mind as a way to combine Kung Fu with the love story, by making teacher and student lovers.

Addendum: hey, remember that awesome movie Kung Fu Hustle, the one Hong Kong movies normies have seen? Well, remember the landlord and landlady? The landlady was named Xiao Lung Nu, or Little Dragon Maiden, and her husband was named Yang Guo – the same as the main characters in Return of the Condor Heroes. It was a joke that went over the heads of Westerners, by giving these names of attractive and naïve young people in love with each other to a surly, bitter, arguing and chain smoking middle aged couple who don’t give a damn.

 Going Super Saiyan comes from “Reincarnated” aka “Bastard Swordsman.”

Stop me if this sounds familiar: a terrifying warlord tyrant prone to killing underlings who displease him has achieved a level of skill and cultivation so tremendous nobody can stop him. But there is one, and only one, thing he fears and that can defeat him: a long-lost legendary skill that nobody has achieved in recent memory, that includes a supernatural combat power transformation that turns the hair light to indicate it worked.

This is “Silkworm Skill” from Reincarnated aka Bastard Swordsman, a novel and TV series from Hong Kong in the early 1980s. Of course, there are differences. To get the power boost and new hair color, the hero has to jump in a cocoon he weaves himself. In fact, the scene is so well known that they actually have it on the poster.

(To those saying “Super Saiyan turns your hair blonde, not white” my response is that it turns hair white, or uncolored, in the comic book.)

The idea of your hair turning white to indicate a new supernatural combat transformation or martial state wasn’t created by Bastard Swordsman, though – though it is the best example and probably the one most familiar to a 1980s audience due to the hugely popular books and TV series. For an older example, a famous Chinese movie based on a folktale is “Bride With the White Hair,” about a bride who’s hair turns white when she is betrayed, in her anger, she becomes less a woman and more a supernatural creature of vengeance (interesting that anger should be the means to unlock it).

#dragon ball z #china #kung fu #martial arts #anime

[gwynrielsupremacist]

A COURT OF LIGHT AND SHADOWS

Chapter 1: Voices

Read at AO3.

Gwyn's afternoon couldn't get any worse.

First of all, the morning's training had been horrendous.

Three weeks after the Blood Rite, Cassian and Azriel had thought it was time to start practicing again, since according to them, they had made a lot of mistakes that could very well have cost them their lives.

She was still alive, just like Nesta and Emerie, so at least one thing they had done well, survive.

After 3 weeks of not doing any sports, it was noticeable when you came back with all the energy, especially on a day where the sun was literally burning.

She noticed as she did push-ups that morning how her arms were trembling dangerously, the sweat running down the curve of her breasts, soaking the shirt she had worn.

Gwyn had promised herself that she would go out into the outside world.

That year she had made a lot of progress, she supposed she should be ready to enter society again, but no.

After the events in the Blood Rite, what she wanted was to lock herself in the darkest corner of the library, with a good book, and stay there to live.

Obviously, she couldn't do that. But she would have liked it.

With all the sore muscles, having failed almost all the obstacles the two Illyrians put them, showing a regrettable endurance in each and every one of the exercises, she had to go down to the library to have a pleasant chat with Merrill, who did not understand why her performance hadn't been 100% in recent weeks.

"I don't know, Merrill. Maybe because they pulled me out of bed against my will, left me in the middle of a forest full of Illyrians, while I had to fight to stay safe, as well as having to kill people? Maybe because I had never left the library after Sangravah, and I suddenly found myself in the same situation? " She reasoned, trying to control her pulse, having remembered the events in the Blood Rite.

She detested Merrill.

More than anyone else, she hated her. She often thought that life would be so much easier if people like Merrill just didn't exist.

After leaving her a ton of work to do, the female disappeared, leaving Gwyn with about seven books resting in her arms, already numb from the morning exercises.

She ran to the nearest table, relieved when she put the books down, with a thud.

She rubbed her dazed hands, wincing at the pile of books that awaited her to spend hours and hours together.

She had to research one of Merrill's new obsessions, the ancient and forgotten Prythian gods.

"I didn't even know they existed", she opined, opening a random book to a random page, flipping through the contents.

She got dizzy from so much information she did not understand, closing the pages with force, grabbing a cart that was nearby, leaving the volumes in it and going to her room, to calmly read those pages and pages of useless information, and then do a chapter-by-chapter summary for Merrill.

"Great, it's a good way to spend your free time if you love reading junk." She groaned as she carefully lowered the cart down the stairs.

"It is not junk. It is information that may be useful at some point", answered her subconscious.

At least she thought it was her subconscious.

She didn't remember when she had started to hear that voice, just one day it had appeared, and now it was considered the voice of reason.

Everything that voice said, it was true.

"I know, but I don't know how knowing which are the main and forgotten gods of Prythian is going to solve my problems." She attacked, greeting one priestess that came close to her, passing by her side.

The voice fell silent, apparently it had nothing more to add.

At least Gwyn could answer the voice in her mind. It would have been a strange thing to see a person argue with herself.

Upon reaching the room, which was a simple square with a bed, a wooden desk with a wooden chair that had more splinters than wood itself, and a modest closet, also made of wood.

Yeah, in summer the termites would destroy all the furniture if she wasn't careful.

Closing the door with the latch, one of the little luxuries she had on it, she put the books down with a thump, brushing her hands on the skirts of the gown, which was already heavily encrusted with dust.

She thought of taking off that long dress, which after so many washes the initial blue had ended up in an almost invisible gray, but she did not feel like going to the common baths of the priestesses, because every time she went there, they peppered her with questions about the Blood Rite.

And the last thing she wanted to do was talk about it.

So she collapsed on the bed, pulling back the covers and hugging the pillow with one arm, as she got into a fetal position.

"You have to go out, you can't hide in the bedroom all afternoon." It protested, to which she responded very kindly with a growl as she turned, trying to make it understand that she was going to do whatever she wanted.

"Alright then. If you get caught between the sheets and can't get out, don't come running to ask me for help." it threatened.

Gwyn didn't know how she was going to ask for help to a voice. It was disembodied, how the hell was she going to beg for help if she didn't even know what that murmur was?

She rolled over on the bed, rubbing her eyes and exhaling, disappointed.

She hated not being able to get out of that damn room.

She hated her insecurity and her irrational fear.

"It is not irrational, Gwyn." It assured her.

"Leave me alone." She begged, getting it to shut up.

She lay on her stomach, breathing deeply.

She looked at the time on the only clock in the room, located above the closet.

19.36.

It appears that she had a lot of time to do absolutely nothing.

Maybe she was going to pick up a book that Nesta and Emerie were reading.

Honestly, she was dying to sink her teeth into one that had caught her attention. According to her description, a maiden sent by the gods fell in love with her bodyguard...

Determined, she bolted upright, unlocking the latch, happily heading for the book.

There would be time to examine the books Merrill had passed her.

Anyway, she had a lot of time, reading something that interested her was not going to do anything bad to everyone.

With a broad grin, she made it to the fiction book section. She opened one of the books, tucking her nose between the pages, an exhale escaping from her lips when she smelled the wonderful book scent.

Her gaze sparking, she searched for the novel she was looking for.

"Didn't you forget something?" It asked.

She stopped short in the middle of the shelves, alarming a passing priestess.

Bowing her head in apology, she went back to searching, her eyes narrowing as she searched the thousands of spins with her eyes, finding none that bore the name of the book she was looking for.

"I don't have any errands to deliver to Merrill." She snapped, frowning when she finally found it.

It was at the top of the shelf.

She made a long face, standing on her tiptoes, stretching her arm as far as she could as she stuck her tongue out, focused.

"I don't mean Merrill, Gwyneth."

"Mysterious voice, what are you talking about?" The priestess demanded in a tired voice. She did not arrive. Why did they make the shelves so high? It was not possible that someone could reach them.

Although, don't get it wrong, Gwyn adored the voice. It was equal to the voice that we all have within us guiding us.

The problem was that the voice that she had was a little… annoying.

She looked at the shelves next to the floor, no books in sight.

Maybe if she got on them…?

She put one foot on it, skipping little hops as she judged whether the bookcase was going to fall or not.

Realizing that it was unlikely, she lifted her other foot, raising her heels as much as she could while she stretched out her arm, feeling her muscles go numb.

A little more ... just a little more ...

"You remember that your friend Nesta has a mate, right? And that you promised them that you would go to her ceremony?" As soon as she finished the sentence, Gwyn stopped.

Shit.

Seriously, had she forgotten that?

"There is still time… There are five days until the ceremony." The voice tried to calm her down, but nothing was going to do it now.

She jumped down from the shelf, as she began to walk from one place to another, in circles.

She had to go.

She couldn't do that to Nesta.

"I don't even have a dress. What am I going to wear?" Alarmed, she slightly stretched the strands of her coppery hair, thinking of a way to solve all the problems that had suddenly befallen her.

I have to leave the library to go to the mating ceremony.

I have to leave the library to go to the mating ceremony.

The female began to hyperventilate, forgetting the book that she had held less than 3 centimeters from her hands.

That was far more important.

"I can't tell Nesta that I forgot about her mating ceremony. I can't do that to her." Gwyn protested, running her hands over her face, rubbing her temples angrily, forcing herself to search for solutions and solutions and solutions.

But neither of them was going to work.

She had to get out of there, no priestess was going to leave her a suitable dress for the mating ceremony.

But she couldn't go alone. She did not dare to go down to the city alone.

Emerie couldn't help her. It had started the illyrian high-selling season and the illyrian needed the money. She only went to training, then she quickly returned to her store, not staying a minute longer than necessary.

Cassian and Nesta were completely out of the question.

Azriel...

"Ask him." The voice advised.

She needed to name that voice. She could not continue calling it "the voice", that was beginning to be uncomfortable.

"Maybe he can help you get the dress." It continued.

Would it be male or female? Or rather, what the hell was it?

"Are you listening to me?"

She definitely had no idea what it was.

"What are you?" Gwyn questioned, curious as she left the fiction section behind, walking aimlessly through the library.

She loved to wander aimlessly through the thousands of bookshelves, silent priestesses, the whisper of books her only company.

Besides that voice, of course.

"Have you heard anything I've said to you in the last two minutes?" Her voice roared.

"I've heard nonsense, so no, I haven't heard anything." She claimed. "But anyway, you haven't answered my question. What are you?"

"I am everything and I am nothing at the same time."

Now was it was being funny with her?

She rolled her eyes, annoyed "That is not an answer."

"It's an answer if you know how to interpret it." It answered.

She rolled her eyes again.

"Well, at least tell me what I can call you, it's uncomfortable to think of you as 'The voice'" She asked.

The voice fell silent, which she thought meant the end of the conversation.

She decided to head over to her room, assuming she should start Merrill's work, until 'the Voice' answered her.

"Elián"

Gwyn stood in the middle of the bedroom hall

"That is your name?"  She asked.

"My real name would burn your lips if you were able to pronounce it" It replied. "But yes, Elián is my name, and I am 'him', I have noticed how you struggled because you did not know if I was a man or a woman. The definition of gender is much more complicated than that, but it will be enough".

"G-Good." She answered.

Elián was quiet at last, leaving her with her own thoughts, as she opened the door, her own scent of jasmine feeling welcoming.

And the proposal he had made, although obviously she had ignored it, she was not wrong to consider.

Perhaps the Shadowsinger would help her out, aiding her finding a decent dress for her.

She closed the crank behind her, sitting on the small bed, wondering if it would be smart to ask him, risking him saying no, or not asking him and risking not having a dress for the ceremony.

Sighing, she figured she should go to the bathrooms to get the sensation of dust - and the dust itself - off her body, so she grabbed change clothes and headed there, deciding at that moment that tomorrow she would ask the Spymaster if he could accompany her to buy a dress.

Inside her, she could feel Elián nodding his head, giving his approval.

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#omg here's the first chapter #i hope you like it <3 #gwynriel #my fic #acolas #acosf #acotar #nessian #elucien #gwynriel fanfiction #azriel #gwyn berdara #gwyn #gwyneth berdara