#and a grocery store

[beaft]

can anyone tell me why i enter the grocery store a normal person and emerge as some sort of vile ravening monster

#was trying to leave the self-checkout and someone was standing in front of the exit gate looking at their phone and blocking the whole lane #the malignant influence of the grocery store transformed this from a minor inconvenience to a cardinal crime #i was ready to leap at them like a coyote and tear them to shreds #be shh now

[bob-artist]

Bittern at the grocery store

#misc comics #animal art #birds #bird art #bittern #bitterns #artists on tumblr #sometimes you just gotta draw a thing #i wish i could bittern at the grocery store #i'm short -_- #birds are losers

[fleshmonger]

Rotating Sandwich Mood Board

Rotating Sandwich Mood Board

#moodboard #sandwiches #pit beef #eggplant parmesan #hot sausage and peppers #turkey and cheddar #smoked meat sandwich #big mac #club sandwich #salt bagel with lox #philly special #vegan root vegetable hoagie with carrot provolone #spicy cumin lamb burger #swedish hot dog with shrimp salad #chopped cheese #sausage mcmuffin #the hebrew hammer #grocery store sub #shrimp po boy #tuna salad hoagie #dolma on pita with feta cheese tzatziki #top round and swiss with gravy #mortadella prosciutto and burrata #torta milanesa #half smoke egg and cheese #lamb souvlaki #banh mi #reuben #pork gyro #hot muffuletta

[phantomrose96]

My sort of maybe embarrassing “late to the game” thing I’m learning now is how to tell if oil has gone bad.

I feel like most other foods have obvious visual tells like mold or they end up smelling foul and obviously bad. But I was googling about oil and the internet says “if it smells like crayons, it’s bad” which would not have been my first guess. And I tested it out on my somewhat old sesame oil and was like “by god, I would describe this as smelling like crayons”

Anyway protip if your old oil smells kinda like crayons it’s probably no good 🖍️

#which is a shame since I have a recipe that needs sesame oil #so now I have to go get more sesame oil #and I like the good kind which the nearby grocery store doesn’t carry

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

[tobbogan-13]

edit: “wheres Lidl” “where where’s piggly wiggly” “where’s HEB” THERES ONLY 12 SLOTS THATS WHY I PUT A “Something Else” OPTION!!!! /lh

another edit: I’m not saying that publix is affordable or practical (i completely agree, it’s fucking expensive) i just said it was the best. Also pub subs are fire.

#grocery store #groceries #groceryshopping #publix #publix grocery #aldi #walmart #target #shop-rite #kroger #winn-dixie #sprouts #whole foods #trader joes #florida #florida things

[rustpuppy]

*If you can't walk that far or the roads to the store aren't safe to walk just pretend you can and they are for the purposes of this poll.

#super curious as someone who has never walked to the grocery store from my home because it would take about 2.5 hours #(its also not safe because theres no sidewalks for most of it)

[theotherendcomics]

#rice #grocery store #funny #lol #comix #webcomic

[payasita]

God's Mouthpiece (Echo + Narcissus)

silent protagonists, yknow

#cotl #cult of the lamb #narilamb #not a serious au but an idea i had at the grocery store parking lot that made me haul ass back home #at least one of these lines i remember verbatim from reading a version of the myth in school #doodles #comics #i cut so many corners on this but im resolving this year to just. get things FINISHED #SO TAKE IT

[jonasgoonface]

Heyyowhattup! Cub foods strike this weekend! All the cub foods in the Twin Cities metro area unionized with UFCW local 663 are striking and you should get out there and hold the line with them. heres a map of all the stores Do a cub crawl and see whos parking lot got the best snacks and chants. If there's a store that's open go in and ask for the manager and tellem Jonas says they're a rat, then shoplift as much as you can carry on your way out 🐀  I want my pals to not be exploited! But that's not the extent of what we need from a union. It's not enough to want a "fair share" of the wealth america extracts from the rest of the world. We cant be the exceptions to capitalism, we need to be it's destroyers. Lets learn our power and sharpen our claws and make bosses across Minnesota feel kinda weird!

#union #cub foods #ufcw #solidarity #grocery store #labor rights #labor strike #minnesota #scab #worker power #boss

[rosekasa]

i think what i adore about ladynoir beyond high school age (18 and over) is the opportunity it leaves for some of the most DELICIOUS best friends to lovers scenarios. because, like, two people who've been fighting side by side for years? who've known each other long enough to make jokes about it, haha remember when we were fourteen and you-- we AGREED to never speak of it!!!! who've spent so long learning each other inside out, even, in chat noir's case, getting over feelings, that the idea of anything romantic between them is so far off the radar that they don't feel the need for certain boundaries, because why would it matter if they made jokes about how attractive they find each other, about getting married, about how they could totally mess with the rest of the miracle team by pretending they're hooking up because it's so far out of the realm of possibility.

but then there would be that imperceptible shift. the moment where one of them makes a joke and it feels just a bit more loaded than it should. gazes lingering where they never lingered and playful smiles turning curious. the sudden awareness that, while maybe they were cuddling on a rooftop with their best friend, they were also wrapped up in the arms of someone they trust with their lives, and is extremely attractive, and, wait, if the only reason it was platonic before was because there were no feelings, what does THIS mean?

THE TENSION. THE PINING. THE INHERENT MESS OF BEING IN YOUR TWENTIES. PLEASEEEE

#as i go through more things in life i ache for ladynoir to experience it too #i want them to be at a grocery store and for him to reach out to tickle her and she turns around and makes a joke but their gazes linger way #too knowingly #i want them to sit down and have a 'okay like this is so tmi but isnt the concept of sex so weird??' conversation #i want them to joke about starting a podcast together #make impulsive amazon purchases that make no sense #find a song that one of them hate and then continuously play it on loop #compare spotify profiles and one of them steals the other's login to sabotage their spotify wrapped for the year #do you know i am so normal about ladynoir #♡alizeh talks♡ #tagged:ladynoir

[enii]

Not at my best, but still trying my hardest💕

#illustration #artists on tumblr #cute #artoftheday #digital illustration #wholesome #cat illustration #artist #trying my hardest #still trying #trying my best #sweet art #little ghost #ghost #relatable #virtual hugs #art #cute art #relatable illustration #so proud of you for trying #not alone #we will be okay #it's okay if all you did is exist today #it's okay to not be okay #mental health awareness #sweet #procreate #grocery store #little ghost is trying it's hardest #relatable art

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

oh right, technically i sell t-shirts

i forgot about that

#holidays are coming up and it would make a terrible gift #that's the main selling point #anyways these exist and can be exchanged for legal tender #the cost is the listed price + the emotional expense of knowing that i am judging u #bc i am. i am judging u #why would u want this. why would u exchange currency for this #there are so many other things you could exchnage currency for instead #a grocery store shrimp platter for instance #with the nauseatingly red cocktail sauce that is SO much better than a t shirt any time #hmm chicken picatta at a local Italian Eatery perchance? i am. a big fan of anything picatta #oh oh i know! 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH OKRA #FOR THE COST OF THIS FRIVOLOUS T SHIRT U COULD INSTEAD PURCHASE 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH DELICIOUS OKRA #and then --hold on i have a recipe--and then what u do is #so it is basically sacrilege to suggest this but what u do is u skip the cornmeal entirely #my southern ancestors are shaking a wooden spoon at me right now but LISTEN. u skip. the gotdang. cornmeal #instead: wash chop and soak (for 10 min) the okra in a mixture of 1 egg to tblsp water #then coat in flour #THATS IT JUST FLOUR #No cornmeal. i am betraying my heritage rn but I'm RIGHT #coat in flour sprinkle liberally in S&P and FRY that suck in veg oil high heat #until crispy & brown & u hear your arteries clenching in apprehension #so. so yeah #that's what u should do instead of buying this shirt go fry the shit out of some okra #(but buy local and young & tender if u can bc the grocery store is full of old-and-therefore-super-stiff specimens #pro tip (aka grandma tip): if u can't chop okra smoothly with your normal cutting knife then it's too old and tough. #...i mean u probably CAN still fry the shit out of it I've certainly done that before it's just much less delicious #ANYWAY. anyway ANYWAY. shirt. okra. farmers market. that reminds me of a post i made back when we first started selling these dang shorts #shirts. shorts shorts. oh shit i should make a crop top option. #i. i don't Know How to make a crop top option #HUH . . . i need to lie down now and contemplate the constant and irreconcilable limitations of the human experience good night

[typhlonectes]

#memes #animals #deer #nature #grocery store

[andy-clutterbuck]

The Ones Who Live - 1x01 - Years

#i need to..... #Rick Grimes #* #rg #The Ones Who Live #EXCUSE ME #if i said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me #i love arm #anyone remember those sticky hand things you'd get from grocery store quarter machines #that'd be my existence #just rest your head on a tiddy and have a think ya know #S O L I D #nice rack rick #so well proportioned and fit without being bulky i hate bulky #the mold broke #no it didn't you could make a mold #gonna invest in those kneeling pads people who garden a lot use #and stock in Halls or Ricola #until i can't walk tomorrow #until the neighbors call the cops

[striving-artist]

We need to fricking stop with this CinemaSins TVTropes style crap in fandom. Actually, we need to stop that attitude in all creative fields, but I'm talking about fic right now.

I have seen many posts ragging on over-used phrases in fanfic, and yes, I find 'cerulean orbs' deeply strange, but if I ever said anything hateful on the topic I wish I hadn't.

You know why we say 'smirk' a lot in fic? cause its faster than 'gave a tiny smile to one side with their lips closed, a little cocky and provocative' Smirk is an easy way of saying it. It's the correct word. We say it in fic a lot because people smirk a lot in real life. Go people watch, its all over. Also. Bring me a true synonym for smirk, and I'll use that instead, but these ain't it.

If you have a better way of saying 'took off his shoes without untying them, just levered the heel with the toe of the other' that isn't saying 'he toed off his shoes' I'd love to hear it. Cause that phrase is perfect for it.

'Huffed a laugh'? Yeah, they did. Cause I'm not going to spend extra words describing how they 'exhaled through their nose once, amused, but not enough to fully laugh aloud' Its a specific action. You think people don't do that all day? five bucks says its exactly what you do when you see a meme most of the time. You didn't lol. You huffed a laugh.

The idea that something that's been used before is inherently less valuable is ridiculous. Same with the inverse.

If the phrase you want to use is common or widely used, but is the best way to communicate it? Use it. Don't fall for this trap that is currently consuming hollywood. You don't have to have a clever twist just because 'they survived and were happy' is a trope. You don't have to use some insane alternate phrase just because someone thinks fandom uses 'smirk' too much.

And, as always, if someone gives you hell and you don't want to fight them? let me know, cause I volunteer.

#writer problems #fanfiction #I will fight you on this #tropes are tropes because we like them #cliches too #they're popular and often used #because they are good and frequently done #Yes this is a reaction to another post #no I'm not linking it #You know who made up phrases that became common lexicon? #fricking shakespeare #so fight me #if it communicates what you want to say? use it #if anyone gives you shit #in the TVTropes CinemaSins discourse style? #challenge them to a duel behind a grocery store #and let me know so I can bring popcorn