#and a little bit of compassion for your fellow human beings goes a long way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

helliontherapscallion · 3 years

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pspspsp can I just request an immortal reader who's life is just dull/sad as hell since they've seen their loved ones leave or die in front of them so many times

but when they meet SBI or anyone, their life just suddenly brightens up? (Platonic and it can be any type of fic!)

(A/N): I got waaaayy too carried away with this. Star god reader my beloved (also, I’d imagine that your cloak looks like this guy’s but on the inside with the outsides being any color of your choice (credit goes to original artist))

If you want more god!reader content with the dream smp, @wooloo-inc has a really good series about a male!nature god!reader (aka, the god of dilf collection)

In the beginning when DreamXD created you (which if you think about it, that makes him your father, but I digress) from stardust and meteorite shards, you were a ball of fun loving sunshine (well, starshine?)

You loved watching over all of humankind, admiring their determination and bonds with other humans (both romantic and platonic)

Your older brother, the god of the moon, told you about how they viewed you and you were amazed

“Oberon?” You ran up to your older brother and tugged on his cloak making him hum in question, not looking up from his parchment scroll. “What- what do the humans think of me?”

He scoffed and glanced at you with his lily white irises, “why are you on about them again? They are lowly creatures compared to us, filled with greed and misfortune.”

“They worship us and that’s how you speak of them?”

“(Y/n) believe me, you have not seen the brutality they are capable of. War, famine, greed, plague, genocide, it’s all something you have not witnessed before. You have only seen the good in those things.”

“But Oberon, I wanna-” he lightly smacked the side of your head, “use proper English. We are gods and you will behave as such.”

You huffed, “I want to know about how they view us! I do not care about the bad things they have done! Plleeeaaassseeeeeee Beri?” You willed the stars that constantly gleamed in your eyes to shine brighter as you fluttered your eyelashes at him. He may seem like he hated everyone and everything (especially his siblings), but he had a soft spot for his youngest sibling. He just stared at you for a bit before he sighed and shifted in the massive throne so that you could hop up onto his lap. With a wave of a slender pale hand, he conjured up various images of humans with stardust gazing at the stars and the moon with carefree swipes of his hand.

“They view us as… poetic of sorts. They compare us to romance,” an image of two human males kissing then gazing into the stars laying down on a cliff came into view, “fortune tellers,” an image of the Aquarius and the Capricorn constellations popped up making you squeal in happiness. He chucked and changed the picture to a mother and son standing over a grave looking up in amazement at a shooting star, “and most importantly, as a sign of hope.

“They see us as complementary, the moon and the stars cannot be as beautiful without the other. We hold the power of the night and everything it touches, (y/n). This is our kingdom, do not forget that,” the image changed to the moon surrounded by stars and swirling blues and purples of nebulas.

You looked at the images with awe, absorbing every word that fell from his mouth. “Beri?” He once again hummed, his deep baritone voice sending vibrations along your back. “Will we be together forever?”

His lanky arms wrapped around your much smaller frame, “for all of eternity. The moon is nothing without the night sky and all of the stars it holds.”

Centuries passed and your fascination with humans only grew from there

When you eventually asked if you could meet a human Oberon reacted angrily and forbade you from speaking of humans again in your shared palace, worried for your safety

When he caught you attempting to sneak out, he locked you in your room for months on end

Humans wondered why the stars hardly appeared in the night sky anymore, forming the theory that they had somehow angered you

They prayed to you more and more, begging and groveling for forgiveness

They left more offerings at shrines

You heard their every word, feeling your heartbreak with sorrow and guilt for your lovely humans

You snuck out of the palace that night determined to make it up to the humans

You quietly snuck past the main room where you and Oberon used to sit on your thrones together and control the night. The large doors were cracked open showing your older brother watching the night with boredom. As you passed, his voice startled you, “I just cannot stop you can I?”

He appeared in the doorframe looking at you emotionlessly, his eyes glinting with hidden pain. “Do you realize how cruel of a place that world is? How cruel humans are?”

“I do not care, brother! They are in anguish because they think I am angry with them! Because you locked me in here!”

“I have told you time and time again, they are ruthless creatures. Humans are constantly clashing with their own kind for the slightest bit of power, they’re greedy creatures! Have you forgotten what happened to Arachnia?”

A shiver went down your spine at the mention of your fellow deity. She wanted to be with humans but they stripped her of her grace and virtuosity, torturing her when the moon would rise. That is the reason spiders attack humans in the night when the moon and stars show themselves and are dormant in the daytime. However, that did not deter you.

“I have not forgotten what happened to Arachnia, her tale fills me with grief. But not all humans are like that! They are compassionate, loving, and sweet creatures deep down, each and every single one of them!”

“They were not showing compassion or love when they tore Arachnia limb from limb! When they languish in riches while millions die around them! What part of that is compassionate?”

“Sure they do bad things sometimes, but have you forgotten the love they hold for each other? The determination and hope shining from within them when they pray to us? Have you forgotten that?”

“THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT JUSTIFIED IN ANY WAY!”

“AND OURS ARE? YOU ARE BLIND, OBERON. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE CRUELTY THE GODS HAVE SUBJECTED HUMANS TO? WHEN OUR FATHER TOOK YEARS AWAY FROM THEIR LIFESPANS SOLELY BECAUSE THEY STOPPED WORSHIPPING HIM AS OFTEN AS THEY USED TO? WHAT PART OF THAT IS JUSTIFIED?”

He just stared at you with angry irises and his chest heaving before he ran a hand through his long ivory hair and turned around, the flowing white cape flowing wildly behind him with unseen air. He walked back into the observation room and back to his throne. Without a second glance to you, he worked on the transition of power between the sun and moon. You could imagine your sister Aelia grinning brightly as she rose the sun for the day.

“You are to never return here if you step foot out that door. You will still have control of your duties of the night. However you will never return. Do not come back groveling for forgiveness when I have given you constant warnings of their cruelty. If I see your face show up here, I will make sure father smites you down. Now get out of my sight.”

You huffed and whipped around to the front entrance, the stars that constantly twinkled and the nebulas that constantly swirled in the inside of your cloak illuminating the white floors below you as you ran. You left the palace without a second thought, leaving your old life behind in favor of spending it with the humans.

When you came crashing to the Earth in a shooting star, you were amazed by the beauty of it up close and in person

It was everything you expected and then some

You heard the humans cheering and thanking you in their prayers when the stars returned brighter than usual

You being completely enamoured by all of the humans, even if they recognized you or not you loved them all unconditionally

You set up a little cottage in the tundra where you could see the night sky clearly with the occasional aurora borealis

From the roof, you controlled the stars

The tales of you defecting from the heavens was a popular one, and you became somewhat of a symbol of the hope that humanity should hold for themselves and compassion

Occasionally sending shooting stars over humans you knew were stargazing

You have met many lovers, friends, and even your own adopted kids over the next millenia, all of them accepting your immortality and everlasting duties

But it’s all the same in the end: they come, they leave, and they die

With each death of your loved ones, you could feel your will to keep going dissipate

The stars grew dimmer gradually in the night sky

The humans gradually stopped worshipping you as you disappeared from the night skies

You became a distant memory for elders to tell children

Disappearing from the face of the Earth for a few centuries when you could not take the constant deaths any longer

Nobody knew where your cabin laid so you were undisturbed for centuries on end, left to your grief

That was until a knock sounded at your door

The knock startled you out of the comfort of your bed. Reluctantly, you left the warmth of the multitude of blankets and donned your cloak to hide your unkempt appearance. When you passed the mirror hanging in the hallway, you could see that your face was shrouded by darkness with the exception of a single glint where your eyes were caused by the lone star that was a constant reminder of your position. Before you fell into a deep depression, the stars would illuminate your entire face if you put your hood up.

You opened the front door without a care in the world. If the beings on the other side were humans that would take you away and torture you, you didn’t care. You’re long past the point of caring for your own well being.

On the other side was a man of average height and long shaggy blond hair pulled into a slick ponytail. He was dressed entirely in green with a green and white striped bucket hat placed on his head. Past you would’ve been cooing at the object, but now you dully looked at the man in front of you. You glanced behind him and your eyes widened at the huge black wings sprouting from his back. You know who he was the second your eye caught the black feathers; he was the Angel of Death.

“Hello, Angel of Death.”

He tried to peer into your shrouded features, only seeing two pinpricks of light where your eyes should be. He gave you a friendly smile, brushing off the snow that gathered on his shoulders. “(Y/n), the God of the Stars and the Night Sky. Giver of compassion to the human race, it’s an honor to meet you.”

“Why are you here? Last time I checked, my last lover died centuries ago.”

“Yes, my condolences. They were lovely when I guided their soul to the afterlife.”

“You still have not answered my question, Angel of Death. Why are you here?” You grit out the last sentence through a clenched jaw. He has no right to talk about them when he assisted in taking them away from you. Him and your cousin, the Goddess of Death Kristin. They took everybody you loved away from you. You knew that their deaths were unavoidable since they were human and you were immortal, but you still couldn’t help but resent them.

“The Goddess of Death sent me. The God of the Moon and the Goddess of the Sun sent her a request to send me to check on you.”

You stared at him for a few moments before you saw him shivering slightly and sighed. You always had a soft spot for humans, even if the being in front of you was not a human in the slightest. He reminded you of an old friend. You stepped aside and gestured lazily inside the house, “come in.”

He started to visit more and more over the next century

He eventually befriended you about half a century into the visits

It was extremely difficult to do because of how guarded you were, but he managed to break you out of your shell

You realizing how kind he was and how much he cared for you

You quickly came to the realization that he was immortal as well after reading up on the Angel of Death

After another fifty years, he became your best friend

You both opened up and comforted each other about everybody you both lost over the years

When he adopted Technoblade and then Wilbur not long after Techno, you were extremely hesitant to get close to them

Even going as far as telling Philza that you thought that it was an extremely bad idea

Mortals always end up leaving in the end anyways, it’s best to avoid the endless cycle of hurt that came with having mortals around

You told him about your own adopted children that have died over the years

You refuse to meet them, cutting off all communication with Philza for a year or two

Eventually meeting his three adopted kids when you reluctantly accept a dinner invitation one day

You attempted to appear cold and uncaring, but your love for humans (especially baby humans) shone through when an infant Tommy started to play with your cape

It seemed that the stars and the moving nebulas within the fabric entranced him

From then on whenever you visited Philza, you always held Tommy until he was too old for you to do so

Becoming very attached to the blond with your strong innate parental instincts

You introduce Techno to mythology, sharing stories of your personal interactions with certain gods and entities throughout the years

You teach Techno how to cope with the voices as you constantly hear multiple prayers to you from humans at the same time

You arrange a meeting for Wilbur with the Goddess of Music when he asks you about her

Arranging for her to start giving him lessons in exchange of a favor that will be cashed at a later date

You help raise all three of them, often taking them off Philza’s hands for a night or two

Their favorite activity with you is watching you raise the stars and turn the sky dark

They always loved to watch you move the stars and summon shooting stars for them

The stars gradually returned to your eyes and a constant ecstatic smile slowly became synonymous with your face again

Humans started to worship you again when the stars in the sky became brighter

You became your old self again after centuries of feeling lost

To repay them for everything they’ve done for you, you decided to rearrange the stars for one night

One night of having a different star pattern couldn’t hurt

Sure, it’d make a few theories pop up among the humans, but those are fun to overhear sometimes

The young boys and Philza behind you watched in awe as your eyes started to glow brightly and you slowly moved your hands gracefully raising the stars with the moon, your cloak starting to flow with nonexistent winds. They’ve seen you raise the stars thousands of times, but it never ceases to amaze them. It was just so… entrancing.

You broke into a slight sweat and started to move the stars from their original positions in the sky. Shaking slightly, you pushed back against the strain and slight pain that it brought you. You’ve never done this before, so you really didn’t know what you were expecting. You felt someone put a hand on your shoulder.

“What’re you doin, mate?”

“Uh Dad?”

“Not now Techno. Mate, are you alright?”

“Dad, look up. They’re rearranging the stars,” Wilbur breathed out.

You could hear Philza gasp slightly as he watched star after star move until they locked into place. There in the twinkling night sky was each of their names gleaming brightly in small lettering. When you were done, you fell into a kneel onto the ground and rubbed at your aching head panting lightly.

You could hear the boys around you panic slightly as you regained your breath. As you heard them approach you you looked up at them and smiled, the stars gleaming brightly in your irises. “Do you like it?”

“Y-yes but gods, (y/n) are you alright?”

“I am fine, but stars, I have never done that before. Are you four ready for stargazing?”

“That was so pog, (y/n)! How’d you do that?”

“I hold the power of the stars and the night sky in my hands. My brother once told me that the night is our kingdom.” You laid down onto the grass and took off your cloak to cover up a shivering Tommy and Wilbur next to you. You sighed as you thought about your siblings; you wondered how they were doing.

“I will gladly move the stars themselves for you four. You are my family.” There was a stretched out moment of comfortable silence as you five watched shooting stars blaze by. Eventually, you saw an aurora borealis materialize above you. Furrowing your brow, you looked at it in question. They don’t appear this time of year, so why-

“Aelia,” you breathed out as you watched the greens flow above you. She must’ve sent a gust of solar wind your way.

“Isn’t Aelia the Goddess of the Sun?” Wilbur asked you.

“Yes, she is my oldest sister. She must have redirected the solar winds over here.”

“Damn, what’s with the gods changing everything tonight? You guys need to fuckin chill.”

“Tommy!” Philza scolded and was about to continue before he heard you start to laugh. They’ve only heard you genuinely laugh only a couple of times, so the sound that left your mouth immediately brightened the mood.

“Yes Tommy, I suppose we do need to ‘fucking chill’.”

“You swore! Fuckin pog,” Tommy cheered to himself as the others looked at you in slight shock at your words. If you’re being completely honest in all of the years you spent alive (which is since basically the beginning of time), you’ve never sworn once. You were raised differently than that. When you realized that the others were staring at you, you smirked at them. The stars twinkling and giving your eyes even more of a mischievous glint, “what? Have you never heard a god swear before?”

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#sbi x reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #philza x reader #technoblade x reader #wilbur soot x reader #tommyinnit x reader #god reader #requests #hellion's requests #1k special #hellion's 1k special #tw: death #tw: depression #tw: grief #tw: swearing

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iheartbookbran · 3 years

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Ok so actually my biggest problem with the whole “Daenerys will burn KL” theory—not even the Mad Queen Dany theory, which is of course very sexist for obvious reasons, but just like, the idea that Dany will ~accidentally~ ignite the wildfire in the city, burning it all to the ground. That, at first, doesn’t sound that bad, but the longer I think about it the more I hate it because tbh it doesn’t do anything for her character? And also… that fate for her is just down right cruel.

Like, the most frequent argument I see on why this would be at all satisfactory for Dany’s arc is basically that it would be a sort of lesson for her about the dangers of unchecked power and the real threat the Dragons can pose on humans and that she shouldn’t use them to fight against other people. And that’s all well and good, excellent message… except that’s not something Dany’s ever really needed to learn? Not anymore that her fellow rulers, which I will touch on more detail later, but in general Dany has seen what the abuse of power can do. Starting with her conflicting feelings regarding Viserys and how she recognizes that even though he was her brother and she loved him, he also abused his power over her as her older brother, her only family and her king; she feels guilt about the atrocities Drogo committed to the lhazarene and tries to help them; she feels so much guilt about not handling things correctly in Astapor that she decides to throw away all her plans to go to Westeros and instead stays in Meereen.

And about not knowing the true danger that her dragons can pose? I mean, this is the same girl that literally agonizes across several of her ADWD chapters because Drogon killed a child, and then takes the extreme measure of caging Rhaegal and Viserion to prevent that from ever happening again. I think she’s at least a little bit aware that the dragons can be dangerous, thank you very much.

Ok so this got long...

Anyways, the only time Dany legit uses Drogon to harm someone and not just as bluff was at the house of the Undying, where she was being attacked, and in Astapor… and like, lmao, that asshole Kraznys mo Nakloz and the rest of his slaver buddies deserved it. Don’t at me. Also, Dany’s hardly the only one with a big magical and deadly beast at her disposal, why didn’t Robb had to go through some horrifying traumatic incident to learn he shouldn’t use Grey Wind in battle to tear his enemies’ throats. Bran will be learning about the dangers of abusing power, but that’s linked to his magic powers and an actual reprehensible thing he’s doing, not the use of his glorified prehistoric dog to kill, which he’s done, just like Robb. By all means let the narrative hold Dany accountable for her mistakes… but her actual mistakes and not shit she has no control over, because she doesn’t have much control over Drogon or the other dragons even though she’s trying to, and that’s very obvious in her last ADWD chapter where she’s delirious and Drogon could kill her at any moment, and she knows that.

The other big argument people make for Dany burning KL (even if it’s by accident!) is that it will teach her about the price of war, that someone as young as her shouldn’t be leading armies and conquering kingdoms, and that fighting for the Iron Throne is not a worthy cause, and I feel like that misses the actual point of her story by a mile. First of all because a) Dany is hardly the only teenage ruler in the story and b) this is a fantasy medieval story, a lot of the characters shouldn’t be doing the things they do, aaaand yet. Also speaking of other teenage rulers with far more power that they should have—Robb and Jon, being the biggest examples.

Granted, Robb and Jon aren’t exactly successful during their time as rulers, they’re literally betrayed and killed by their own men (even if Jon will technically come back for round 2 of bullshit he’s too tired for). But the moral of their stories is not that they lost because theirs was an unworthy cause and they were stupid kids wholly unprepared for their roles. And I actually partially agree! They are just kids, including Dany, and they shouldn’t be responsible for looking after so many others and going to battle, but their cause is still just and worthy, even with all the mistakes they make along the way. Robb didn’t loose because he was wrong in demanding justice for his family or trying to protect the riverlands from the Lannisters and their minions, he lost because Tywin Lannister was a giant coward who couldn’t take him out in a fair fight.

Likewise, it isn’t wrong of Jon to try to incorporate refugees from beyond the Wall into Westeros. He’s not too stupid and honorable to do politics like his father (how I hate when people insult Jon and Ned like that), and while he did some very obvious mistakes that inevitably ended in a coup and in him dying, this is more connected to his inability to let go of his ties with his family (mainly Arya or who he believes to be her), and in isolating himself from his friends and the people he could actually trust.

I’ve always thought that Dany and Jon share a parallel narrative within the story, so while Jon is struggling with that Dany is faced with similar problems. She cages her dragons, that to her represent the only family she has left, and she tries to compromise with the slavers, marry a man she doesn’t love, pretend she’s ok with reopening the fighting pit. While she tries her best to rule wisely in Meereen, it all comes at the cost of betraying herself and her beliefs, so it’s no surprise when it all crashes around her and she’s betrayed and nearly killed. Ironically, it is Drogon who comes to rescue her.

If they are monsters, so am I.—Daenerys II, ADWD.

This is hands down one of my favorite Dany quotes from the whole series, and I hate that it’s been given such a negative connotation in the fandom, when for me it represents Dany’s humanity and compassion at the fullest.

GRRM has a knack for humanizing the ‘monsters’ of his story, for showing the good in the outcasts and the ugly and the scary. He embraces their ‘otherness’ and makes them the heroes of his stories; Arya, Bran, Brienne, Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Theon and many others are all compared to monsters or beasts at one point or another in the books.

Dany sees herself in her dragons, literal monsters in every sense of the word. Later on she faces Drogon inside the pit, and in that moment you could say that she accepts that ‘monstrous’ part of her, and in doing so she’s saved from her fate of dying at the hands of the men who would crucify innocent children and gleefully profit off of the suffering of their fellow human beings while watching them fight each other to the death for their own amusement. Now tell me who’s the real monster in this situation.

But shortly before that happens, Dany is able to see the humanity in Tyrion, an outcast who has been branded as monstrous and unlovable due to his disability all his life, a man who has come to believe in his abusers’ rhetoric about him so strongly that he’s started to act cruel and detached. She saves his life. She sees value in his life when few others would, because she cares.

I’ve always find it funny that the “dragons plant no trees” is—another—example fans use to argue in favor of Dany’s descent into Darkness™ because the actual scene goes like this:

You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros.

"It is such a long way," she complained. "I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl."

No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.—Daenerys X, ADWD.

Now am I the only one who finds it at least a bit relevant that it’s freaking Jorah Mormont aka Jorah the Enslaver whom Dany’s subconscious, at her literal lowest moment, utilizes to represent this particular thought, which btw I’ve always interpreted as Dany’s own self-loathing manifesting in her, and this is something she’s actually always struggled with—the idea that she’s not enough and she’s failing. Because above all things, even Westeros or the Iron Throne, what Dany wants is peace, she wants to plant trees.

When Dany made her descent, Reznak and Skahaz dropped to their knees. "Your Worship shines so brightly, you will blind every man who dares to look upon you," said Reznak. […] This match will save our city, you will see."

"So we pray. I want to plant my olive trees and see them fruit." Does it matter that Hizdahr's kisses do not please me? Peace will please me. Am I a queen or just a woman?—Daenerys VII, ADWD.

But of course the world doesn’t work like that, and so long as there’s Jorahs and Tywins and Eurons out there, men who would take the freedom of humans and submit them to their will, Dany can’t have the luxury of peace, just like Jon can’t have the luxury of belonging and family so long as there’s people still beyond the Wall who need his protection.

And I think that’s fine. It’s fine that Dany failed, it will help her develop as a character and realize that there’s no room to compromise with slavers, the metaphorical monsters of the story who do far more harm than the other more literal ‘monsters’ of the story. So that when she has to face down Euron Greyjoy—who btw, there’s a high chance he will end up stealing one of Dany’s dragons via Victarion using Dragonbinder… y’know, as in enslaving one of her children and using said dragon to inflict god knows what horrors, yet not many people ever consider this for some reason?—she will know. When she has to face down the Others, the magical ice fairies with no regard for human life, she will know.

That’s why I believe that it would make absolutely no sense for Dany to have to go through such a tragic and traumatic experience like burning a whole city even by pure accident, over something that’s either never been a problem with her character or she’s well into her way of learning anyways, so it would just feel repetitive. As I have pointed out, she’s already reached one of the lowest moments of her arc. Not saying there will be no other blows for her, and probably the destruction of KL will be one of them, and knowing Dany she will feel responsibility over it no matter what, but that doesn’t mean she has to be the culprit, intentional or otherwise.

#yes i wrote this whole thing because i actually love the ‘if they are monsters so am i’ quote and i’m trying to push my agenda on others #jk i spend like half a minute in an anti dany blog and i was like. war #but i don’t regret it so #daenerys targaryen #stormborn #pro daenerys #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #meta #my meta

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dameronology · 3 years

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one hell of a mandalorian {din djarin}

summary: actions speak louder than words - which is good for din djarin, because he's not very good at words. (this was a commission for an anon! i hope you enjoy).

warnings: language

enjoy!! if you're interested in commissions, you can find out more here :)

- jazz xx

Din Djarin was a man of few words.

That had become clear not long after you'd met.

It wasn't that he didn't like talking, or that he was rude - he'd just never had the need for it. The Mandalorian could spend days and days in hyperspace, on his own with nothing but a frozen bounty to keep him company. And they were hardly chatty, even before they were thrown away into the trawling depths of carbonite animation. There were a few select geniuses who tried to make conversation with him in a last-ditch attempt to appeal to his humanity and beg for mercy, but so far, they'd had a zero-for-zero success rate. It wasn't that he didn't have any humanity to appeal to it - because he did, and his weird, green surrogate kid was an absolute testament to that - but it just took a little bit for it to come out.

The beskar made him seem a little...robotic. Like a droid, which was ironic, because he wouldn't have gone near the things with a ten-foot-barge pole. Din had just become so used to people seeing his mask and his intimidating posture before him that having human traits, like feelings and thoughts and opinions, had never been any use. Having defining traits and a personality was all well and good, but nothing helped you through the galaxy quite like the ability to put the fear of God in people.

The Mandalorian was something, but Din Djarin was somebody. He was good; not necessarily pure and golden-hearted like a typical comic book hero, but he had a strong moral compass. Sometimes, it pointed in opposite directions, but he helped those who needed it and he paid his dues. That was probably a lot more than anyone in the galaxy could have said for themselves. In the fight of good and bad, in a world that existed entirely and black and white, there was nothing more grey than an honest man. Somebody who refused to pick a side held the power of both. For that, Din could have either been extremely smart, or extremely dumb.

Sometimes, he was extremely dumb. Made the wrong moves in combat, or got too cocky, however out of character it was for him. It was the losing fights that truly brought out the human side of Din, and it took a very, very specific eye to see it, sometimes to the point where even he missed it. It never went over your head, though.

You'd joined the crew on the Razor Crest as a mechanic - then you became a baby sitter, and his partner-in-crime, and the closest thing he'd ever had to a friend. His non-verbal nature meant that most of his emotional cues came in the physical form. It went over the heads of everybody else, but between your intuition, and the time spent in such a cramped space, it quickly became like a second language to you. Helmet tilts when he was confused, and little nods when he was pleased; tensed shoulders when the Mandalorian was nervous and balled fists when he was about to absolutely lose his shit.

Today was one of those days. Even though you were both in one piece and the baby was - by some absolute fucking miracle - asleep, it almost hadn't been that way. Nevarro had been quieter than usual, and Din had let his guard down; finally convinced himself to relax a tiny bit and ever-so-slightly loosen the stick that was firmly up his backside. His sudden lack of awareness for your surroundings had meant that someone managed to track the Crest, however briefly. The kid had barely noticed, and you weren't phased by what had been a simple, human mistake. Din, true to nature, was already beating himself up for it.

That was evidenced by his heavy footsteps, and the way he'd immediately retreated to the cockpit and slammed the door. Common sense would have entailed that he wanted to be left alone, but you'd long surpassed the point of any of that. Common sense didn't exist in a galaxy like this one. Doing the obvious thing was, nine times out of ten, usually the wrong way. Expecting the unexpected was the right way to go.

You'd paced outside the door for the better part of fifteen minutes - to go in, or to not go in, that was the question. You were torn between wanting to give Din space and wanting to be there for him; a cranky Din was often an unbearable one, but you cared deeply for him. Maybe a little too much, but that was a can of worms to open later.

"Din?" You gently called. Nothing. "I know you're brooding, or whatever it is you do under that helmet, but talking is good."

"I'm fine."

You sighed. "The scale goes great, good, bad, awful, world-ending and then fine."

"I've never heard that before in my life."

"Yeah, I just made it up on the spot." You murmured.

Resting your hand against the doorknob, you pondered for a moment. Did you want to risk it by going in? Making him mad when he was literally shutting you out? It was hard to know what to do with Din - it wasn't like he came with an answer key, or even a vague manual that could point you in the right direction. It was all just guess work.

"Is the helmet on?" You softly asked.

"Yeah."

You took that as a sign - with a deep breath, you gently opened the door and stepped inside the cockpit, shutting it quietly behind you. The tense atmosphere inside was almost enough to swallow you whole. The man practically radiated angst.

"Talk to me." You took a seat beside him.

"There's nothing to say."

"Bullshit." You murmured. "You might have a thousand inches of beskar hiding your face but your body language is a dead giveaway."

"I'm meant to protect you and the kid." He replied. It wasn't much, but it was better than silence. "It's my job to catch bad people and outrun them when I need."

"You did outrun them." You reminded him. "I'm safe. You're safe. The kid is safe. Does anything else matter?"

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place." Din said. "I was relaxed-"

"- you allowed to relax." You cut him off. "Despite your best efforts, you're a human being."

Reaching out, you gently placed your hand over Din's ungloved palm. He didn't resist or try to brush you away. His hands were soft and callous in equal measures, which felt like a fitting metaphor for him on the whole. You tangled your fingers in his and held on tightly, perhaps in a sad attempt to remind him that you were there.

But Din knew you were there - he could feel it constantly, and he thought about it just as much. Every day of his life prior to you had been filled with rigidity and angst, then you'd come waltzing in and for the first time in years, he'd untensed his muscles and stopped looking over his shoulder. Learnt to take a breath and enjoy the simple things in life, like Grogu laughing or you accidentally tripping over a tree branch. You'd become so important to him that the prospect of losing you was too much for him to even fathom. He'd come close today - too close - and it had been an eye-opener. The irony was that telling you why he was so fucking scared was more frightening than the entire thing itself.

"Don't be so hard on yourself." The gentle pull of your voice lulled him back to reality. "Please?"

His grip on your hand tightened. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." You breathily smiled. "You don't have to apologise."

"I never thought I'd have someone like you." Din admitted. "Coming so close to losing you was terrifying, even if it wasn't that close at all."

He'd never been so open about his feeling towards you before. Obviously, you knew that he viewed you in a way he didn't see anybody else, but that knowledge had been based entirely on physical cues and mere guesswork. You'd never expected him to vocalise the way he felt, or even acknowledge them. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, or even something you considered to be detrimental. The words came as a nice surprise.

"You mean a lot to me, Din." You said. He'd always loved the way his name sounded when you said it; nobody had used it for years, not since he'd lost his parents. It was something to vulnerable and personal. You were the only one he trusted with it.

"I do?"

You didn't mean to laugh at that - you really didn't, but it just came out. A low snort of disbelief; shock at his absolute inability to read the fucking room. Din was as intuitive as they came, with the ability to read criminals like a bedtime story he'd been rehearsing since he was a kid. Then it came to you, and he knew nothing. Absolutely nothing. To call him clueless would be the understatement of the century.

"Maker." You murmured. "Of course you do - more than anyone or anything."

"You're special to me." Din replied. "It scares me sometimes."

Din was straight forward with everything he said - it was just finding the courage to say it. He'd gone into battle with Imps and Republic Rangers alike; fought krayt dragons and droids and fellow Mandalorians and yet this entire thing shook him to his very core more than anything else.

You didn't know it, but you were perfectly holding his gaze. Staring right through it and looking right into his soul. He forgot he had one sometimes. It was probably a little dusty and covered in cobwebs, but it was there, and you were bringing it right out of him and back to reality.

Din used his grip on your hands to pull you a little closer - a moment later, he gently pressed the cold metal of his helmet to his forehead. It was the closest you'd ever been to him, even if it wasn't that close at all. You could hear his soft breathing through the modulator, the sensation acting as a stunning reminder that there was a person underneath there. There were times when you forgot, or felt a little disconnected from the idea entirely. You'd never felt the need to see his face, though - you hadn't a clue what he might look like, but at the same time, you had an image of him in your head. It was as clear as day; as bright as the suns on Tatooine and as persevering as the kid's insistence that he receive all your attention, all the time.

You knew what the action was; a Keldabe kiss. The Mandalorian had recounted its meaning to you not long after you'd met - he'd finally let his barriers down and let you plague him with questions about his culture and the creed, and you'd stumbled on the subject. Initially, you'd been entertained by the fact that it two such vastly different meanings. On one hand, it could be a headbutt. A beskar punch to knock the daylights out of anyone who particularly annoyed you. On the other hand, it was almost a romantic gesture; a way that Mandalorians could show their affection to one another without having to remove their armour.

Din had the latter meaning in mind, but also so much more. He was giving you a piece of his culture - including you in the very thing that defined him as a person.

"It won't happen again." The Mandalorian gently said. "I'll never let you get hurt again. I promise."

"I know." You softly smiled. Your eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of the cool metal against your forehead. "For what it's worth, I have your back too."

He softly chuckled. "Thank you."

You gently pulled back, eyes meeting again (not that you could tell).

"Seriously!" You said. "I can be a bad-ass."

"You can be a lot of things." Din replied. "You're one hell of a girl."

"And you're one hell of a Mandalorian."

#din djarin x reader #din djarin x fem! reader #din djarin x you #din djarin imagine #din djarin imagines #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x you #mandalorian imagines #mandalorian fluff #din djarin fluff #star wars x reader #star wars characters #star wars x you #star wars imagines

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khadij-al-kubra · 3 years

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Storytelling, Fate & Happy Endings

I’m still processing last nights episode (CR C2 Ep140), and much like every critter I’m SUPER emotional about it. But something about last night’s events and how they played out really got to me, not just as a fan but also as a storyteller. And even the day after, i was actually crying (still am crying in fact) more than i did last night watching it happen. At first i thought it was because i’m a fairly new critter and this is my first time watching a campaign come to an end. But the more i think about it and process, the more i realize that’s not just it. This effected me as someone who deeply believes in the power of storytelling and how it can not only effect but reflect the world around us. And because I have to get them out of my head, here are my thoughts on why last nights episode was so important, not just for CR fans but also as a an important narrative for right now.

...Yeah that’s a bit vague, isn’t it? Okay, let me explain. If you’re willing to take the time to read fellow Critters, I greatly appreciate it in advance. ^__^

WARNING: Major spoilers for CR Campaign 2 Episode 140 ahead. Also it’s gonna get kind of meta. And long. Because i have a lot of thoughts & feels.

So I think it’s fair to say that, as much as we would’ve been devastated by any of the M9 perma-dying in the last battle, part of us wasn’t expecting them all to make it out of there alive. Not even the players, I think, despite how much they likely didn’t want that to happen. Just look at the half-resigned way Liam talks about Caleb in the last few Talks Machina episodes. Or how, in game, Jester was fully prepare to die trying to stop the city from coming back. And for a while there, it seemed like some of them might not survive.

But then they did. Despite so many crappy rolls throughout the night they stopped Lucien, set free all the souls trapped in Aeor, saved Exandria, and brought each other back from the dead. Not only that, but they also did the impossible: They saved Mollymauk. Their lost friend who had such a deep impact on all of them even after his death. The delightfully charming asshole who was so full of joy and life and who, despite how the world treated him, was happily determined to leave every place better than he found it. Moreover, they almost didn’t succeed! But then they did, all because of teamwork, love and one last minute ditch effort ‘what-the-hell-have-i-got-to-lose’ dice role that none of them saw coming. And now they get to go home together, truly as The Mighty NINE.

Just this once, everybody lived! We got a happy ending!

And that’s HUGE in game...but also think for a second how that reflects outside of game too. Do you realize what a story like that means to people, especially given the year from Hell we’ve all had?

Think about it. This past year the world has suffered. We’ve all been impacted by the pandemic in some way shape or form, either on small levels or large. Our world has been at war with a virus that effected everyone and everything: Our sense of safety. Our health. Our economy. Our families & friends. Our freedom. (in the sense of our ability to travel & just be in close proximity to people without fear, but i digress) Deeply imbedded social and systematic diseases have been brought further to light in the past year and a half largely because of this virus. Some of us have lost people we love. Hell, the pandemic even effected the way that the latter half of Campaign 2 played out because of social distancing protocols. If you further compare this to Campaign 2, the world of Exandria was caught in the middle of a war that started because of social & systematic corruptions that had been rooted in two opposing kingdoms for years. And so many suffered and died because of it.

Then the Mighty Nein comes in. This ragtag group of delightful assholes with nothing to lose; these flawed but inherently good at heart and deeply human adventurers, broken and lost in their own ways, trying to make a home and family for themselves in a world that took advantage of them or left them alone or said they weren’t good enough...and they changed things.

They grew. They fought back. They found moments of silliness and peace and joy and fun amidst all the strife and sometimes grief. Most of all, they tried. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of spite, sometimes even out of compassion, but mostly just out of love. And in the end, not only did they help people and stop a war for the sake of their loved ones, but they also saved their world from being destroyed by a rotted perversion of life from the past that threatened to consume everything they cared about. AND they STILL managed to bring everyone in their found family back to life. Does it erase the bad and sad things that happened to them? Hell no! But those things don’t negate the fact that in that moment, they made it out okay. That this was a victory and they won!

Think of what a story like that means to people right now.

I’m personally a pretty spiritual person, and much like our favorite clerics, I also believe in a higher power. But whether or not you also believe in a Divine being, the Universe or whatever, every D&D player believes in one thing: Fate. Luck. Call it what you will. But it was fate that made those dice rolls that saved everyone happen. It was fate that not only stopped Cognoza from returning, but also brought Jester and Caleb and Molly back to life, even when it seemed like it wouldn’t work. (and holy shit that gave me emotional whiplash!)

After everything they went through, both individually and together, the Mighty Nein defied the odd and demanded that Fate let them save their loved ones. They demanded that the world give them back their friend; That they deserved to have their happy ending & get to go home alive together. Just. This. Once.

As a writer, I know firsthand that there are some stories we find and create ourselves, but then there are stories that have a way of finding us. Sometimes a story or world or character from somewhere in the Aether will pop into our minds one day and say, ‘I need your voice to tell my story.’ Maybe this is just me getting carried away with the meta brain again. And like i said, i’m a spiritually inclined person, so I believe in things like Fate and a Divine Higher power writing out the stories of the Multiverse. If you’re reading this (and thank you for taking the time to do so) maybe you do too. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, if you’re a fellow critter, then you’re clearly a fan of good stories and/or playing Dungeons & Dragons. So you know how fate/dice roles have a big impact on the outcome of a story, regardless of how tightly written a setup the dungeon master makes. Given all that and how organically stories tend to play out in D&D, I genuinely believe that Matt Mercer and the whole CR Team were meant to be conduits for a story where the flawed heroes save the world AND all make it home alive.

And I think Fate knew that we needed last nights battle to end like this. After all the crap we’ve been through this past year, we needed this happy ending, deserved it even! Not just us critters, the CR team too. As much as we all like to joke that Campaign 2 was secretly scripted, we all know that’s not true. Yes, the setup storyline and world were brilliantly crafted by Matt, and the character roleplaying is beautifully acted out by the team. But the twists and turns, the direction it goes, and how the game plays out is all up to fated dice rolls just like any other game. And something, some kind of force of luck, some force of fate, some Universal Divine DM out there made the roles happen the way they did last night.

It gave us a happy ending.

I believe that this was meant to happen; now of all times with everything else going on in the world. Amidst all this darkness and rot, both in game and in the real world, in the end of it all there was light and life. A reminder that sometimes people do live. They do get second chances. They do find a new family or reunite with old ones. That sometimes the world can be saved for a time, and happy ending do still exist. Even if it’s not broadcasted on the daily news amidst tragedy reports, or even tragedies that don’t get reported (which sadly are a lot, but again i digress).

Because the thing is, like Beau said, no one else will probably know they were heroes. No one will know what the Mighty Nein sacrificed to save all of Exandria. But they don’t need to know that for it to still be true, for life to happen again, and for a found family of nine broken people who love each other to go home together safe. It doesn’t invalidate that the good things happened. That at least for today everyone was saved. That flawed people were still able to do good because they tried. That they left the world better than they found it and got their own small but satisfying happy ending. Even if only for now, because we don’t know what’s gonna happen next Thursday. We don’t know what the future will hold for the Nein or Exandria when the Campaign ends or even when (hopefully) some loose ends will be tied up in later oneshots. But neither that nor the bad and sad stuff that happened beforehand in the game and in the character’s lives invalidates the fact that tonight they won. They lived.

So why can’t that be true for us in the real world?

I said earlier that, as a writer, I believe in the power stories have to not only reflect but also shape our world. This story is an example of why, but especially this episode, and that’s why i was so euphoric about the outcome. It wasn’t just a game for me, and i’m sure for others too. It was a much needed reminder that happy endings can still happen in real life, just as much as they can in stories. Even when everything seems dark and corrupt and rotten and hopeless, we can still keep fighting. We can keep trying. We can make new families and start over and be heroes in our on little lives in small ways.

We can leave the world better than we found it.

And maybe, with hard work, imagination, luck and a little Divine intervention...we can also get the happy endings we deserve.

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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September 1: 3x06 Spectre of the Gun

Okay so, it might be a little early to declare myself a S3 apologist, since there are still a lot of eps I’ve never seen, but I feel like I’m pretty close..

This ep was so good!! Honestly I think it’s one of my faves. And perfect to usher in Spooky Season.

Honestly, this show really is my happy place. Just all the characters together on the bridge, on some kinda adventure, looking at weird space buoys and investigating stuff.

Again, this buoy looks like a Windows 98 screensaver.

Kirk keeps referring to Spock as “Science Officer.” Is he mad at him? Full of some particularly intense longing that requires him to put extra distance between them?

Excuse me, you address US as aliens? YOU’RE the aliens.

Hmmm, so it seems they’re not friendly.

It’s addressing them in different languages!!! I love it. Love the reminder that Uhura’s first language is not English,also.

“True telepaths are dangerous.” As opposed to fake telepaths like Vulcans lol?

The Melkotians withdrew immediately. They invented space travel, they saw space, and they said “not for us” and they turned around and left. McCoy would like them; they’d have a lot to gripe about together.

The welcome mat is NOT out.

“Unlike Mr. Scott’s transporter, this unit is not functioning.”

It legit looked like Spock put his hand on Kirk’s back there. Like he clearly raises it, but not far enough to be seen above Kirk, so like.. what was the point? Where did it go?

LEE CRONIN--oh no, flashbacks lol.

“We come in peace”--immediately pulls out gun.

I should have watched this when writing my Western fic.

Just bits and pieces of a Western town... and a completely red sky...

The guns are “crude but dangerous.” If only Sulu were here; he’d love this.

An announcement with a specific time and place on it--that’s a very precise detail to just pull from their minds. Must have come from Kirk’s, that nerd. Maybe Spock. But probably Kirk.

“Because my ancestors pioneered the American frontier.” I mean did they really get to the frontier? Or just... the Midwest?

Maybe it’s actually because he’s a cowboy at heart?

Aliens using his own ancestral sins as the pattern for his own death for breaking their law IS a great (possibly partially unintended) idea. Oh also, if they think that Kirk and co. are here to ‘tame’ or colonize them, then the Western setting makes even more sense--you’re no different from your ancestors, you came somewhere new and brought lawlessness and violence and death, but not this time!

Can you believe Kirk knows all of these details about the OK Corral? NERD.

Spock is so proud of himself for knowing the phrase “had it out.” Look, I used slang correctly!

These are some creative aliens.

“We know death is real here.” Or is it? They’re literally telepaths guys.

Hmmm, this building doesn’t need a roof I think. - The aliens probably

Can’t believe Scotty thinks his usual is his actual usual lol. You’re going to drink bourbon and like it!

Kirk and Spock look so good together.

They’re obviously Chekov’s disapproving parents.

“The day is still young, Ensign.” I don’t remember the exact context of this but Spock is SO judgmental.

What is Kirk doing? This guy is a hallucination; he won’t be convinced by touching some cloth. There’s nothing to convince! He’s only a Concept.

“Have you seen clothes like this?” / “Yes.” / “Where?” / “On the Claytons!” Comedy gold.

Kirk really thinks he can charm his way out of anything. Hmmm, maybe if I just talk nicely to the Earps, they won’t kill us.

“In small amounts, it [bourbon] was considered medicinal.” Lol.

Scotty is becoming a bourbon guy!

“Mr. Chekov is inVOLVed” lol. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

“A lot of people and things have tried to kill me.” No need to brag.

THAT’S how you make a city limits sign. Put a dead animal skull on top. I live quite close to a city limits sign and I think it could use a cow skull.

Western Cossacks!!

Poisonous snakes and cactus plants. That really distills the Aesthetic down to its core.

This is a good Kirk episode. He’s really being a good Captain: coming up with different ideas, being creative, pushing his crew to brainstorm.

Bones and his tranqs again.

Bones meets his old nemesis: Old Timey Medicine.

Why was Doc Holiday just...chilling in his own dentist chair? (My mom suggested: power nap. Let’s go with that. Power nap + ability for optimally dramatic entrance.)

Also I can’t believe McCoy just goes into this guy’s practice and starts helping himself to all the serious drugs.

Chekov definitely isn’t the marrying kind.

RIP Chekov.

Bones does not sound very sympathetic here. Jim, get over it, he just died, whatever.

And then two seconds later he turns around and tells Spock he’s not sad enough! You can’t win.

“We all knew the risk when we joined the service.”

“My feelings are not a subject for discussion.” !!!!!!! This line!!

“You worked closely with him.” Yes! Chekov is his protege!

“Bones, Scotty, stop bullying Spock.” <-- not an actual quote but it might as well be.

If this were AOS, Spock would already be choking Bones out.

Whoops, no one told Chekov he wasn’t supposed to die!

“Let’s organize! Let’s form an anti-Earp union!”

“I can’t kill them!” he says in a mad rage.

I mean, it is important, though. That’s not what he does.

Kirk is /disgusted/ by lawlessness and frontier justice. What a Rebel TM.

I feel like Bones was waiting for the gotcha moment when Spock compliments him. “Saying nice things about me? That’s not how this relationship works!”

“Nothing can go wrong.” / “Up to now, everything has gone wrong.” He has a point.

That pause before Spock admitted it hasn’t been tested lol--they don’t want to admit it.

“[The bourbon’s] for the pain.” / “But this is painless.” / “You should have told me that before.” The unexpected comedy stylings of Scotty and Spock.

It doesn’t work--guess Spock’s got to take back that compliment now.

“Captain, you don’t understand--they’ve been telepaths the whole time which we already knew!”

“We’re not going to move from the spot.” * is immediately in a different spot * Well I mean at least he’s trying. He’s doing his best!

Love the OK Corral sign also. Weirdly creepy. With its accompanying horse.

Spock doesn’t have any hips for the holster to rest on.

“What did Chekov die of?” / “A piece of lead in his body.” That would do it.

If the tranquilizer should have been effective, does that mean Scotty is actually passed out right now?

Honestly, this is all so spooky. TRUE Western Horror Ghost Vibes.

Also very trippy. If you don’t believe it... it’s not real... some kinda weird chicken and the egg argument regarding our belief in the truth of physical laws idk but it sounds good. Spock brings it home.

Even with the wind whipping around him, Kirk is SO in love. His absolutely adoring expression... So soft...

“Very well, Sir, I’ll meld with you again. Not that I particularly want to. It will be a sacrifice. But I’ll manage. Even though you’re such a dynamic individual haha ha I’m fine I’m cool.”

I feel like Scotty is NOT into the mind meld. He looks terrified. Maybe he should have saved the bourbon for this occasion.

I know the mind meld is supposed to be a replacement for on screen hypnotism...but is this not hypnotism? Like even more than past uses? In this case, Spock is leaving them with suggestions that he wants to continue AFTER the meld, as opposed to, like, efficiently sharing information or giving immediate suggestions. And the scenes themselves are very creepy and...hypnotic.

Kirk’s patented move: WHOLE BODY ATTACK.

Well, we wrapped that up right quick.

Did they... never actually leave the bridge? Or even navigate past the buoy? This actually brings up a lot of questions as to when the aliens started the hallucinations, what their bodies looked like to the rest of the crew, and how they woke up--since there’s obviously been a bit of a time skip, as Bones is already examining Chekov.

Lol at Chekov, saved by horniness. “Nothing but the girl was real to him.”

“A vast alliance of fellow creatures who all believe in the same thing...”

Kirk’s vision of the utopian future is so powerful, he’s effectively gotten the welcome mat put back out.

A personal question? Kirk is intrigued.

Ah, but it’s just another excuse for Spock to be a hypocrite--how did humans survive? How did VULCANS survive? And for the show to remind us of its utopian vision of the future... we will move past violence, we will prove ourselves attractive to and worth of new alien friends.

Then McCoy walks out so Kirk and Spock can have their Moment. He undoubtedly knows what’s up.

So this ep was shown one day before the anniversary of the shootout at the OK Corral AND on Halloween week. It is very much a spooky season episode. So surreal and strange. Ghostly.

I know using sets rather than on location shoots, and not even building whole sets, was a budgetary issue but tbqh I think it worked in the ep’s favor. It added to the alien feeling of it and was an accidentally creative way of showing that these images were pulled from Kirk’s mind.

This felt like a very Classic S1-ish ep to me. I think it’s because Kirk was foregrounded as the Captain/hero and we get to see not just his intelligence and creativity and leadership but also his compassion and his moral core. He IS the values of the series, personified, and that was clear here.

But we also got to see lots of him and Spock, casually working as a pair, and the use of the rest of the landing party crew was very deft also. I loved that there was time to mock Chekov’s horniness, to talk about Spock and Chekov’s professional relationship, to joke around with Scotty, to show more of the Spock and Bones dynamic.

Again, great sci fi concept. I think this would have been another possible inspo for my Pirate AU if I’d seen it in time (although I think I picked a good mission-concept ultimately). I’m fascinated by the Melkotians: who are they? What do they really look like? Do they communicate any other way but telepathically? Are they corporeal? What is their planet like? And most importantly, what experience lead them to be so isolationist? They specifically refer to the aliens as “disease” coming into their home. And it’s when Kirk shows himself to be fundamentally nonviolent even in the face of his own death, they let the Enterprise through.

Basically, I always enjoy hints of alien societies that bring up more questions for me than answers. I love speculating about it.

The next two eps I’ve seen and remember well and I know they’re classics. I’m really looking forward to them!

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #2021: star trek #star trek tos

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theunderdogwrites · 4 years

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Green Lives Matter

My favorite Halloween costume from my childhood (age 10) was The Hulk.

For three reasons:

1. I made it myself

2. I wore it two years in a row

3. It made my outside look how I felt on the inside – tough but complicated

I cut up an old pair of jeans to look as though my tiny legs had busted through the seams and to make it appear like I’d grown taller. I took an old white dress shirt and shredded the sleeves to symbolize my biceps exploding in rage and slightly shredded away the length. I put black (safe) spray paint in my hair and painted my legs, arms and face in Hulk green to complete the look. There is a photo of this masterpiece somewhere in an old album, I just don’t have access to it right at this moment. I know I looked magnificent because I remember the feeling of hiding behind this larger than life character for a night while grunting for candy or else “HULK SMASH!” your front door down. I love this memory.

Now let’s address this – I did green face.

I refuse to apologize and if The Hulk wants to come find me and break me like a hard pretzel, well then he better bring backup because even though I am no longer painting my face green… I have turned myself into a Hulk. Ok, a mini Hulk. But I can conjure up a temper and throw a tantrum while also being completely unreasonable and void of real direction. So... yeah, he’s going to need someone other than Black Widow to come with him.

I should mention that I am white. And not just white – I am Scottish white (Scottish heritage, born in Canada). Fair skinned, blonde hair, green eyes and I once thought mashed potatoes were the best food of all time. Until I discovered garlic mashed potatoes. Mind blown.

“I love humanity, but I hate humans.” – Albert Einstein

Let’s not lie – being white has its privileges. Do I know what all those privileges are? No, probably because I’m privileged in some way. But I find myself going back to the same bit to explain so much that I encounter in life:

Until my high school guidance councillor explained to me what suicide was, I had no idea it was a thing. I had no idea it was a possibility and I certainly did not know that many people were actively participating.

My lack of knowledge wasn’t due to privilege but rather because suicide had never been apart of my life experience. Would we call that ignorance? Some definitely would because it literally means ‘being unaware’. I feel an ignorant person is not only being unaware, but also a first-rate wanker because they won’t educate themselves or evolve and wish to remain blind to reality.

Once I became aware of suicide, I didn’t pretend it didn’t exist. I started to pay attention. I didn’t brush it off as an experience that didn’t affect me but rather a symptom of fragile mental health and I gave it the consideration it deserved as something that many people were suffering through… most of the time alone. If I see something that is wrong, that I know needs my support – I am there.

That is not my privilege speaking, that is my humanity.

The senseless murder of George Floyd ignited a firestorm.

(A firestorm is a conflagration (an extensive fire which destroys a great deal of land or property) which attains such intensity that it creates and sustains its own wind system. It is most commonly a natural phenomenon, created during some of the largest bushfires and wildfires.)

When I saw the footage on the news – I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand the blank, almost twisted look on that officer’s face as he drove his knee down on George Floyd’s neck. I didn’t understand the blatant inaction of the other officers while witnessing this brutal extinguishing of a human being. I didn’t understand why this level of aggression was necessary on someone who was already subdued. And I didn’t understand why the words “I can’t breathe” didn’t invoke an ounce of compassion or relief.

Then came the protesting. Then the riots. Then the looting. And I still didn’t understand.

While some people want to group all three of these events, in my mind, these are three separate actions. Because by attaching the riots and the looting with the genuineness of the protesting… it lessons the cause, blurs the intention and distracts from the truth… therefore painting the protestors with a brush of violence, greed and chaos. And that is beyond unfair.

The PROTESTS are NOT out of control.

The pain and frustration are what’s out of control and more importantly the injustice is out of control and people are responding to a situation where they feel angry and powerless. Yes, the fires, destruction of property and looting are awful collateral here but it’s important to not loose focus on what caused this current situation. We often look at with contempt and criticize reactions while forgetting the action that started everything.

And that is another injustice.

I wouldn’t even know how to begin writing about Black Lives Matter or Antifa. I say this because of the controversy surrounding both movements. And if you dive deep enough into the internet, like I did, you too will begin to suffer from what I like to call ‘I don’t know what to fucking think anymore-itis’.

So, I’m going to escape talking about these two groups with this:

“Instead of feeling threatened by and hating a movement, be glad you don’t need a movement.”

My experience with black people is pretty limited. Not by choice, but rather due to geography, common interests and quite possibly socioeconomics. I can count on one hand the number of black people I knew throughout my school-aged years. My area was diverse in other ways, so no, I did not grow up in White Breadville. I mention all this to lay down a bit of background before I continue.

“I don’t see colour.” How many of us have said this at least once in the last six months? I have. And I probably said it to prove to myself or someone else that I wasn’t racist. But I no longer say that… because the truth is, I do see colour. I see ALL the fucking colours and they are beautiful. It’s people who are ugly.

If you were to ask me point blank if I was racist, I’d tell you point blank – I am not. And I’d say this with absolute belief in my character and sincerity. I care less about your skin colour and nationality and more about you returning your shopping cart to its proper location. That is the truth. Your religion doesn’t bother me at all (as long as you’re not cramming it down my throat) but your ability to treat others with genuine kindness and compassion sure matters to me. And I don’t give a flying fuck how you want to identify… be a Martian, I’m totally cool with that, but bully others in my presence and I will come at you with the full force of nuclear pasta (look it up).

The last handful of months (I’m assuming here) has caused most of us to pull up and examine those deep in the corner of our brain concepts. You know the ones – the ones that might get you questioned by The Thought Police if they existed outside of fiction. It’s ok, we all have those little bastard notions creeping around… no matter the skin colour. I started to take a closer look at some of the things I think and how they would affect others if I wore those thoughts on a t-shirt. Needless to say, I’m not super impressed with myself. Because while I know with all my heart that I am not a racist person, I do recognize that I buy into and perpetuate some stereotypes. And I have zero excuses. This admission makes me a bit uncomfortable, but I’m ok with that… I can learn through discomfort.

I hear many people talking about and referring to white guilt.

- White Guilt: ‘the feelings of shame and remorse some white people experience when they recognize the legacy of racism and racial injustice and perceive the ways they have benefited from it’.

I do not feel shame and remorse as a white person. As a human being, I am ashamed of how many of my fellow humans treat those who do not look the way they do or do not come from the same background. Do I believe there is a legacy of racism and racial injustice? Yes, 100%. Have I benefitted from this because I am white? I may be too dumb to answer this correctly. Or maybe too white? Or maybe I’ve had blinders on because based upon my own level of perception, I’ve always struggled to navigate my own existence therefore only know what has directly prevented me from being who and what I want in this world?

I underlined ‘level of perception’ because as the quote goes: “I stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understand things from their level of perception”

Earlier I said there were so many things I didn’t understand about George Floyd’s death and the protests etc. but here is something I do comprehend - there’s a big difference between understanding someone’s plight and being understanding of someone’s plight. Sympathy doesn’t require a total understanding of what problems other people are experiencing.

I may not fully grasp the struggles of those in the black community because it is not my experience but I will not ignore, deny or challenge their struggles. I will however educate myself on the issues, observe my own reactions and offer support in the ways I can and offer compassion to anyone who is willing to accept a little love from a min Hulk.

Nothing I write here is meant to change your mind. It is not meant to offend or shame you for how you may feel or think and nothing I write here is meant to lessen the seriousness of the current situation facing an entire community of people. As a writer my only goal is often to just disrupt your thoughts. Period.

#thehulk #blm #perception #george floyd

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adi-paws · 6 years

Photo

Hello! This is my entry for Day 1 of the Kolivance AU Event, I decided on a Role Swap AU. I usually just draw, but I decided I’d like to explain a bit the ideas I had behind this entry, which is a redraw of one of my favourite scenes in Voltron!

(Honestly I was so nervous that I kinda forgot the episode lol)

Hope you enjoy! @kolivance

Lancir is the son of a rebel galra who gave her life opposing Zarkon’s tirany. Her dream of a peaceful galran empire inspired him to unite with fellow rebels and create a base of operations against the galra. Thus the Blade of Marmora has been born with Lancir as its leader. Due to unforseen betrayals and failed missions, Lancir had no choice but to hide the Blade from the Universe. He had to take many risks and he mourned the loss of many of his subordinates, but he couldn’t give up. So Lancir locked his heart away, he hid his kindness and his joy, he became the stoic leader of the Blades, he forced a strict training regimen and he adopted new codes that would hopefully benefit the organization. All in hopes of helping his men survive to see another day and maybe, one day, getting rid of Zarkon for good.

Kolivan was a teacher at Galaxy Garrison, strict, but fair. He enjoyed guiding the new generations and often got really close to his students because he was willing to listen to them, a thing rarely seen at the Garrison. One night he found 2 students (Hunk and Pidge) on the roof of the centre past curfew. He questioned them, but before he could do something about their insubordonation, the alarm started. With no other choice, Kolivan ended up asisting the two cadets and the new addition, Keith (a former student), in saving Shiro, who has been missing after the failure of the Kerberos mission. With so many questions unanswered, the confusion grew when Keith showed them his researsh and eventually the place where they found the Blue Lion. Imagine his surprise when Kolivan realized he was the one the lion chose as her pilot. Both honoured and terrified, the (now former) teacher flew them to what they’ll later learn is a castle on planet Arus, the place where their weird space adventure begins.

Time skip, after they’ve met the Blades. Here goes nothing!

“Don’t forget about the Blade of Marmora!”, said Kolivan as he smiled at the aliens.

Lancir stared at him blankly, but on the inside he was intrigued. This human, so much smaller than him, completely ignored their galran status and just straight up credited them for the rescue. This wouldn’t be the first time the snow haired earthling sided with them or showed them compassion. It confused Lancir. He wasn’t used to anyone looking past their galra heritage. He was almost suspecting foul play, but the Blue Paladin seemed too good natured for such things. The Blade leader decided he’ll have to ask about this curious attitude at a later time, now they had more serious matters to attend to.

It was one night that Lancir finally had the chance to solve his inner musings. Him and a few Blade members were spending a few days in the Castle of Lions for some planning and mixed training, so they had free roam of the castle when they weren’t working. After a strenuous training session, Lancir was still too wired to rest, so he searched for the kitchen to get something to drink. His mind wouldn’t relax, all he could think about were the war and their most recent losses, Thace, Ulaz and Antok. Even tho he treated the matter with abandon when Keith and Shiro entered their headquarters, the rebel leader has been hit hard by their loss. They were actually really close comrades, Lancir would even dare to call them friends if he wasn’t so afraid of what that term implied. He blamed himself for their early demise, and recently, the only thing that kept him focused was the happy nature of the Blue Paladin. From what he’s heard, he used to be a teacher, so now he’s able to show his real personality more without the serious title weighting him down. In all honesty, his soul was as pure as his hair colour. He’s tried time and time again to find evil in this man, but other than a bit of a short temper, he found nothing. Literally nothing. There’s no way Lancir can blame any hidden plans, so he’s back to square one.

Lost in thought, he was surprised to find he already arrived at the kitchen. His surprise grew when he noticed Kolivan inside, sipping what looked like a weird white liquid. What did he call it? Milk, from what he remembers. What a strange beverage…

“Oh, Lancir!”

Kolivan’s voice interupted his train of thought and brought him back to reality. He entered the kitchen and nodded towards the paladin, then sat next to him. He studied him a bit, noting dark bags under his eyes and the red rimmed eyes. Unable to stop himself, Lancir asked, “Have you cried?”

Jumping at the sudden question, Kolivan looked up into Lancir’s inquisitive eyes and slowly nodded, then he panics and speaks frantically.

“It’s nothing serious though, I promise! J-Just stress, it’s been catching up to me lately. I can’t sleep and I’m tired and we have so much to do. We fight on a daily basis! I have a hard time mantaining this pace..I’m sorry for saying all these, you have greater responsabilities than me, so your stress must be greater. I have no right to complain to you…”

Yet again, the paladin surprises Lancir. Upset as he is, his first concern is not upseting the Blade leader. It’s been so long since anyone cared for him like this..it’s hard to answer to such soft words when all you do every day is use the blade. Regardless of his uneasiness, Lancir decided..maybe it’s time he gives something back. With this in mind, he moves his hand towards Kolivan and gently ruffles his hair, shocking the young human.

“You should look after yourself too , young paladin. I have seen how you do not rest until everyone else does, you put the well being of your fellow men first of all, and while that is honorable, it is not right to neglect yourself.” , said Lancir as he looked Kolivan in the eyes.

Caught by surprise, the paladin turns red and turns his gaze towards his lap.

“Y-You noticed..?” , asked Kolivan embarrased. Lancir’s features softened as he regarded the suddenly shy earthling.

“It was hard not to. Your efforts deserve praise, boy, but do not forget yourself.” After this, Lancir allowed a little smile to show on his face. “I must thank you.” , he said.

“Me? For what?” , asked Kolivan baffled. As far as he remembered, he didn’t do anything for the galran leader that he’d need to be thanked for.

“You were the only one to completely disregard our galran heritage when the Blade met the paladins, and you have showed us kindness time and time again. I must also apologize for my..withdrawn nature, but I am not one to trust easily. I must say that you have proved yourself worthy more than once..Kolivan.” , said with surprising honesty the Blade leader

Completely shocked, the paladin finds himself smiling. How can he not? This sudden admission just made him so happy!

“No need to apologize, I get it! You’re the leader, you have to be cautious about who you trust and all that, I understand. Thank you for your trust, Lance. I’ll treasure it!” , says Kolivan smiling brightly at the galra.

Completely unprepared for the new name, Lancir’s eyes widened as he stared at the human, who suddenly realized what he said.

“A-Ah, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize!” , exclaimed Kolivan blushing. “I don’t know what got into me I-I just thought it sounded nice and it’s way easier for me to pronounce than your name since it’s human, b-but I don’t mean that your name is bad, I actually really like it! I-I just..I mean..”

Unable to stop himself, the newly named Blade leader chuckled, interrupting Kolivan’s panicked rambling.

“Kolivan.”

“Y-Yes..?”

Lancir trully smiled for the first time in decapheobs.

“Lance is quite alright.”

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the-energon-hole · 6 years

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May I also have headcannons of TFP Megatron, Knockout and Predaking with female reader who never experienced genuine romance? She is usually confident and suave, but when it comes to romance, she is not. She quietly confesses that her previous exes never appreciated her nor made her feel beautiful, safe and warm: only wanting to use her. Then the mechs do what her exes failed to do, making the reader feel loved from their compliments, gentle caresses and telling her why they love her.

((A/N - I went a little slow with this one because I didn’t want to mess it up- it took me awhile to think about it so I hope you like it ))

Megatron

-To say that Megatron has never experienced genuine love would be a bold face lie probably told by the Autobot propaganda committee to make him look like some kind of unfeeling monster. He felt a deep love for all his fellow Cybertronians to the point he would overthrow an entire government in order to get them the freedom of choice they so truly deserved, he loved his position as a gladiator in the pits of Kaon as he was big on entertaining the masses with his bulk and combative wit, and he somehow found himself in some kind of romantically love with a squishy little human that managed to charm and seduce him in a way no one before her had ever accomplished, he was sure many have tried as he was quite the catch back in the days of his youth, but as time went on and he became a battle hardened and deeply scarred warlord- well, the prospect of bonding became a thing of the past. Yet, here you were, simply leaking regality while still possessing such a flirty and sensual attitude that it was hard to resist any command you threw at him. You could snap your fingers and demand he serve you his soldiers head’s on a spike and he would do it if it gave him any kind of chance of winning over your seemingly cold and unfeeling heart. It was actually kind of dangerous if you look at it objectively, the great and powerful Megatron becoming an enamoured slave to an insignificant and feeble little human, but really when has playing it safe and staying in one’s lane ever actually accomplished anything meaningful or significant. It was the risk takers and the trend setters who would always be remembered and always be kept in histories light as the ones who have made an impact to the way society was run, and he was hoping that maybe by being a said trend setter that maybe you would keep him in your radiant light that he has been craving to be in since you began to prove your worth to him in a way no other Cybertronian ever had before.

-You had him wrapped up around your little finger and the power was beginning to go to your head as you noticed so many vehicons refused to look you in the eye as you passed them by them in the halls of the ship, and you also noticed all of Megatron’s subordinates showing such great respect by offering up their frames as a way of pleasing you to get into your good graces so many times that it made your heart flutter a little with delight to know you can basically do whatever you wanted and get away with it because you were the favorite of the biggest and baddest bot in all of Cybertronian history. Truthfully however, at times, you felt like all of this attention and doting on should be given to someone who is more deserving of it than you. You were never seen as the most prime specimen of beauty in your culture and a long streak of messy and bad break ups seems to only continue to taunt and emphasize that to you. Lovable as never something you thought yourself to be as time and again you have been shown that every single one of your partners had to be that constant reminder that you were far from perfect and that you deserved to be alone forever because you were not their ideal woman. It was depressing honestly, and you sometimes had bad days where you couldn’t function because of those taunting and dark thoughts, they were there to remind you time and again that you were the embodiment of bitter energy and that romantic love will always be something that is unattainable by you- no one understood that as they would spout some fairy tale nonsense about everyone having their proverbial prince charming and how everyone will experience this amazing euphoric feeling in their lifetime. It was a load of crock, which was why you stopped sharing your secret affinity for things like finding your one true love amongst so many individuals- it was like trying to find the sheep amongst a pack of wolves, impossible and something you cannot foresee yourself being able to do. It hurt, but you know what, life goes on and you have to go along with it.

-This wasn’t a conversation you were really that willing to have, as it all started when Megatron expressed his “undying devotion” to you and exclaimed how he wished to hold you in his spark as someone who was more than just his dear little human spy and that he would do anything to keep you happy and safe so long as he is living and functioning, you got angry as you didn’t believe him. You yelled and screamed and called him a liar- and it seems this wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, it wasn’t that the feelings were not mutual, you actually felt great attraction towards Megatron, you just can’t trust yourself to know a difference between romantic attraction or sexual desires. The not being able to distinct between the two has gotten you in so many bad situations that you just decided completely to ignore those feelings. You broke down just thinking about it as you told this magnificent mech that it wasn’t him it was you- so many before have tricked and lied to you to manipulating you into thinking your romantic feelings were real, but really it was just them taking advantage of you and abusing you to the point you still question your emotions to this day. It frustrated and angered you more than it did make you cry, but all of these emotions surfacing, well it was hard to not become a little emotional remembering all of the bad shit you had to go through to get to this point. That was when Megatron stopped speaking words as you felt him grip your face to look at him from your position on a countertop- you had no idea what was reflecting in those normally cold optics, but you could have sworn in that moment there was a shimmering sparkle that was present that made you stop feeling so anxious and feel some kind of comfort that you never have before. That was all this moment was, just staring into one another’s eyes- his reflecting genuine love and compassion while you were sure yours reflected fear and anxiety but also a little bit of a new emotion that was a mix of hesitant understanding and a little bit of longing. You wanted to kiss him in that tender moment, so you reached up and he lifted you so you can nuzzle and plant a small tender kiss on his faceplate. Is this what love was, real romantic love? It felt good- and it felt better knowing Megatron was a mech of his word and would love you with his whole being without anger or an ounce of mistreatment.

Knockout

-You two had a whole lot in common, considering your personalities were almost one in the same. He enjoyed being the shiny and outstanding mech who was colored a deep and enticing color that it made others stop and admire his appearance whether eti was the mindless vehicons or some humans who noticed his alt mode parked outside somewhere- you liked to dress up and show off your appearance while wearing designer and beautiful clothing that made people stop and stare because they were admirable and jealous while wishing they could too look like that. You both also enjoyed having laughs and trading quips back and forth that others might interpret as hurtful exchanges but really were just sweet and innocent words that indicated you both were playing a long standing game that was only reserved for the two of you to know the rules and partake in. It could be constituted as flirting as you weren’t afraid to admit that this mech was most definitely the most attractive of all the Cybertronians you have come to witness- true he was rather a bit of a coward, but he was good looking so he had a pass to be just that. You were a little afraid of dying as well, and really, who in their right mind wasn’t afraid of a premature death so when things get to hot for you two to handle you are always the first ones to bail and retreat back to the sanctum of his lab on The Nemesis ship. It was fine though, as he was always there to check you for wounds and you were always there to buff his finish and vacuum his interior should anything happen to his appearance- it was nice to have someone to fall back on like this, and though you have thought that so many times before you had someone to “ride or die” with, maybe Knockout was the real deal this time? You hoped so, he is a good friend and the best being in the universe- you hope nothing can spoil this fun and fulfilling relationship. You two were one half of the same person after all, which was why the friendship was soon beginning to bud into another thing- it was there, but you didn’t know really what that thing was. Knockout has an idea of what this relationship was slowly stepping into but he didn’t want to rush you into anything, he knows your past and he wants to handle this with as much finesse as possible. That was a good thing, as finesse was his middle name so to speak, and there was no way he can screw this up… Right?

-There were so few things that Knockout had a genuine love for besides himself- he loved Breakdown as much as any mech could as they have been long time companions and long time brothers, he has a real love for the practice of medicine even if that practice is more for the dissection in order to learn and understand things first hand from the source material, and now he can say he has a genuine love for you and all of your quirky and interesting habits. He gets all star opticted when you laugh with that angelic tone and he has to stop himself from swooning when you make a bad joke directed at someone like Starscream and Soundwave because you were just so genuinely unafraid of them- it was a flex of your strength and power of them as an asset to Megatron and he loved it. You were just a human, but you were such an important key to their victory, it was intoxicating knowing not only where you attractive to look at (even if you deny it) but you were also intelligent and witty. You truly were the best rival to have when it came to having your little conversations to where you were so snarky that it made his spark swell with a new kind of emotion that he has never really experienced before. Breakdown told him it must be love but he doubted it, mechs like Knockout don’t fall in love and get tied down by some femme, no matter how amazing he thinks that femme is. Breakdown laughed at him after that, saying how similar the two of you really were, as unbeknownst to Knockout you also asked Breakdown what was going on. Wow, you guys even go to him for the same advise- it was so amusing watching you two just be so blissfully unaware of what was there that sometimes Breakdown wants to just smush your faces together until you kiss and have that “electrical shock” moment that you get when you share a moment with the one you love. You both have had a bad string of relationships however, so he will not pry or force anything and let the two of you figure it out on your own, because really that is what it comes down to. He can’t tell you both anything because you are both equally as stubborn and have to learn your lessons the hard way.

-Knockout knows your hard past and your ex lovers, Breakdown knows your hard past and your ex lovers, and you hated comparing what you have to the cherry red mech to what you used to ahve with those asshoels who made you feel so bad for having any kind of emotions towards them. You were experiencing new feelings you couldn’t describe, but you were also experiencing some old one that you wish would just go away so you never have to worry about them again. Your guts would get all funny and fluttery when you were in the same room as the Decepticon medic just like it had with some of your exs before you, but you felt so calm in his presences that it made you second guess the things your heart was trying to convey to your stubborn and angry brain- why did your body and soul literally have to ruin such an enriching and quality friendship by making you feel like this?! It must have been Knockout who said something, because you were so tight lipped about how you felt that it must have been him to bring it up, but there it was out in the open after one of your famous quip battles was stopped dead after he (or maybe it was you, no one really remembered) uttered the words “you say that you hate me, but in reality My Dear, we all know you love me as much as I love you”. You got a little panicky as you apologized for something, you are not sure what but you just kept repeating it as the good doctor could swear his breath was caught in his vent systems- well, this was not the finesse he normally had and you made him so damn nervous that the beans were spilled before he could even come up with a game plan. Here it was tough out in the open, and once you were done apologizing Knckout decided tha titwas going to be now or never to open up and try to have a for real moment with you. He stroked the top of your head with his claw as he tousled your hair a little while twirling it a little around his digit, he just let instinct take over as he has never done something like this before as he was just a broken as you were when it came to love, he went from stroking your hair to touching your face to which you froze and looked p at him with concern- there was something else plastered on your face however, it was complete trust for the mech before you. He wasn’t like all the others before him, he actually took the time to call you beautiful and he actually liked to listen to your sass and your slightly harsh words and he could meet your challenge when it came to all of these conversations you were having. You saw nothing but relaxed content and a warm disposition as he stroked your face gently with his claw that was really sharp enough he could rip you to ribbons if he wanted, but he wont, and you knew he wouldn’t- and that it what love must feel like, because you trusted him completely with anything and everything, and it was nice to feel so free instead of so caged so you couldn’t help but start laughing and giggling at how nice this situation turned out to be. He laughed too out of solidarity, and in that moment, you knew everything was going to be ok.

Predaking

-He was still very new to this world only being created and imprinted with whatever that mech wanted him to know and he has only known the kindness and compassion you have shown to him- you were not like all the others aboard this floating hell hole whom were fearful and angry at him for who he really was. He actually found himself getting excited and his spark will hammer inside of its case as he anticipated you stopping by daily and telling him all the different kinds of stories you had to speak about. He has learned so much about you in such a short time like how you weren’t particularly being forced to stay on the ship against your will, but you weren’t exactly aloud to leave it either- you were an asset to Megatron’s plan and that kind of made you a prisoner in this cage just like him. Humans weren’t all that interesting to him, but it gave you a reason to speak to him and it was enough for him as he wanted to hear what you had to say when it came to all different kinds of subject matter. You told him all kinds of fascinating tales from the human world from things about human history to things about fantasy and fiction- he found himself entranced as you spoke to him about yourself more than he was enticed by tales of heroism and politics. You for some unknown reason were an ire for his fascination, and you for some reason cause all of these strange and primal instincts to bubble up inside of him that give him the urge to just hold you close to his body so that he can bask in your warmth and maybe get a chance to get drunk on and inhale the scent in which he is teased with whenever you get up close to him and touch his body in a friendly way- you were fascinated by his tail and wings and it made him a little proud and vain to know his physical appearance impressed you in any kind of way. He thought you were a rather attractive human even if the only comparison he can make were to those of the Prime’s ally, either way however, your aesthetic pleased him and ignited all kinds of wonder and emotions he has yet to actually sit and ponder upon. Once you were comfortable enough around him and you ran out of stories to tell, you told him all about you and who you were as a person and all of the thoughts and opinions you had buzzing around inside of that small but cute head of yours. He was so enamoured with you and he has no idea why, but he made it is job to protect you whenever he can, so long as he is around no one will ever hurt you again- and whomever these “exes” were, they better watch their backs.

-He can list all day the things he likes about you, but one thing he can claim was his favorite quirks he saw in you was your need to name everyone on the ship- you gave designations to all the Vehicons to which you listed to him any time they passed by the cage while they were slaving away under Megatron’s laws. They didn’t seem to mind as you always had good names to give based on everyone’s forged frame numbers, but the one you gave to him made him feel even more vain and attractive than when you were stroke and touching his skin absentmindedly as you sat with him during those quiet nights to just talk about anything and everything. You called him a “King” and he felt himself melt a little as he purred unintentionally as you laughed a sweet laugh that made his spark sputter with content comfort and slight nervousness. You rambled sometimes when you just sat there and talked about nothing in particular but that’s ok, because it gave him a chance to sit here with you and just quietly contemplate his new upcoming emotions- which was not allowed in the current political rule in which you both live, when it was just the two of you however alone in his cage he was allowed to think and to feel however he wanted and it was the best moments he has ever had in his short and hard life. He thought about all kinds of things when he had the chance from all things ranging between the best ways to get away from Megatron to what it would mean for him if he just stayed and stuck through that overzealous mech’s stupid orders of violence and anger, but his favorite thoughts, the ones he finds himself having even now as you lay against him sleeping because you too have had an exhausting day and even rambling quietly to him was tiring- the thoughts most pleasing were the ones of him taking you away form this place and stashing you somewhere safe until he can figure out what is really going on in this world and what his best options for survival were. It hits him every now and again that he doesn’t really belong anywhere as there were not others like him that existed in his world, but yet he felt right at home when you two were curled up in his cage awaiting the next day of forced labor and agonizing moralistic dilemmas. He didn’t think he could ever be poetic but being in your presence and anytime you graced him with your company he felt as if the sun itself manifested into the form of a beautiful femme that preferred his company over all others.

-Another thing that always caught his attention about you was the way you always were able to stand up for yourself even if the situation was dangerous and no one was around to protect you. It was a sign of your unwavering confidence and stubborn knowledge of knowing you are right in your moralistic actions against those known as the Autobots, you were so amazing to watch as you yelled at Starscream for pushing his luck by trying to mess with you and “not really kill you but injury you a little” because he felt like flexing his imaginary power hold over you- you were having none of his nonsense that day and you weren’t afraid to tell him where he can go shove a rusty pipe. Starscream wasn’t very amused by it and in a moment of weakness on Predaking’s part he jumped into action to stop that annoying mech’s hand from hitting you off your position on a console on the outside of his cage by transforming into his alt mode to loom over the offending mech with his own sheer height and prescns. Predaking uttered words along the lines of “if you so much as touch my beloved one, I will rip the spark right out of your chest and make you regret the day you were ever created”. It worked as Starscream laughed nervously as he does when he is threatened by ones bigger than him and excused himself spouting some nonsense about his daily duties recalling his attention elsewhere, and Predaking knew he was going to go tattle to Megatron in hoping he would dole out a punishment. He wouldn’t however and would just scold Starscream for starting a situation he couldn’t really finish and for distracting others from doing their everyday jobs. He noticed a shift in your personality after that- you were unbearably quiet and you did not sit close with him in beast form as you normally would have and that made him so nervous and a little scared. Did he do something wrong earlier by protecting you from Starscream? Were you offended that he stepped in to stop a physical attack on your form because you had some plan to make him look a fool instead? His mind was so busy buzzing with all that he thought he could do wrong when you took it upon yourself, as you always do, to be the one to break the silence and address the problem in the room. You told him that it was kind of him to protect you but you couldn’t possibly be his beloved because a King like him deserved someone so much better than what you could offer- you beartted yourself as being bland and unkind and he almost balked at the sheer idea that you thought yourself to weak to be his most beloved. He just huffed in his beast form and dragged you closer to him with his tail while he nuzzled his face against your body- and he was blown away by how good you smelled and how warm you felt, yes, if you would have him than he would try his best to prove to you that you were worthy of his love.

(05/07/18)

#Transformers Prime #Megatron #Knockout #Predaking #Romantic #Headcanon

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juuls · 6 years

Note

Got any stuckony recs?

YES! Absolutely yes!

My apologies this took until today. I had a busy weekend and had to rest a lot, but I’m here now. :) Also, I don’t have my old bookmarks list (long story) so I’m having to go through and look for my favorites, old and new. Long process! (This took me over four hours, though I was doing a few other things as well. Still, I’m a bit of a slowpoke.)

See below the cut for some of my favorites, and don’t forget to leave kudos and comments (even just an “I liked this!”) for the authors, to let them know their hard work is appreciated!

(If someone knows an author’s Tumblr handle, let me know or tag them so that I can edit this rec list and tag them appropriately!)

Equilateral by FestiveFerret @festiveferret

It was the way Steve had said, “I found him,” the desperate, agonized hope, that had Tony replying with, “Bring him home,” without any hesitation.

But now, now he was hesitating like fuck.

Penny Candy and Sparklers by StrivingArtist @striving-artist

James Buchanan Barnes: formerly the Winter Soldier, formerly Captain America’s right hand man, formerly a sergeant, formerly a dock worker, formerly Stevie’s best friend…. currently a glorified prisoner of Prince T’Challa…. had trouble wrapping his head around all those former selves. He spent too much time thinking about all the bits of him that he kept gluing back together to pretend he was a person anyone would want to keep. He spent even more time picking at the cracks, pointing the flaws out to himself. Only thing he did more than that was make sure no one else noticed how far he was from human.

So, James Buchanan Barnes, who didn’t know what to call himself, who didn’t know how to go forwards, agreed, and moved back into the tower where his best friend lived with a husband orphaned by the Winter Soldier.

Hide A Heart of War by RayShippouUchiha @rayshippouuchiha

“You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.”

Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

Of Spiders and Super-Soldiers by AuddieAussie (Juulna’s note: I come back and read this all the time when I need some family feels and a smile. :))

After the hell that was Ultron and the Sokovia Accords, Tony doesn’t blame the team for wanting nothing to do with him. To make up for past mistakes, Tony disappears into his lab and focuses on using his money and brains to provide the Avengers with more fancy tech than they’ll ever need. By doing this, he also doesn’t have to worry about Steve’s grim frown, Bucky’s hateful gaze, or everyone else’s cold annoyance.

For six long months, this formula worked, but then fate decided to be a Loki-like dick and Tony wasn’t sure how it happened, but in the span of one week, he’d somehow acquired a kid.

and you needed someone to show you the way by SailorChibi @tsuki-chibi

Tony knows what the team really thinks of him. It’s a delicate balance: they tolerate him because of his money and his toys, and he gets to stay on the team and fight with them. He’s okay with that. So long as he hides the fact that Steve’s and Bucky’s names are written on his skin in the most embarrassing act of one-sided love affection ever, everything will be fine.

It just figures that a fantastically stupid villain, a kidnapping plot and a video camera will bring Tony’s well-kept secret out into the open.

The Mechanic, The Soldier, and The Captain by AvocadoLove (Juulna’s note: this is sad)

HYDRA need a replacement for Zola’s genius, and they have years worth of experience breaking and brainwashing a good man into something they can control.

Beware of Super Soldiers And Their Enticing Laps by Confused_Emo

Tony’s eyes shifted back toward the remaining occupants of the room only to realise there was literally no space in the sitting area for him.

This apparently was the best time for Bucky to make suggestive gestures, as the soldier patted his thigh lasciviously, “Why don’t you come sit on my lap, plenty of space right here.”

Just Far Enough by TheSopherFly (Juulna’s note: please read the tags. This is triggering and sad and angsty but fucking phenomenally well done and one of my all-time favorites… And I don’t like angst at all.)

Tony couldn’t honestly remember how long it had been like this. Probably since the day he’d called T’Challa and offered his help. At first it had just been compulsive self-denial: you can’t eat until you’ve drafted your opening remarks, until you’ve finished your research, until you’ve rewritten every last colon and comma and apostrophe in those Accords so that everyone can come home.

Those goals had been realistic. Lately, they’d become impossible. Until everyone forgives you. Until you forgive yourself. Until you make up for every bad thing you’ve ever caused.

He was fine. He was coasting in a dangerous place, but he was fine. He wasn’t taking it too far - just far enough.

Trinity by cinaea (immediately followed by pt. 2: Volition)

He’s become the kind of monster he all but died trying to stop.

A D/s, soul-bond AU set in modern day. More than two years ago, Bucky Barnes was lost during a Howling Commandos mission and captured by HYDRA. He and fellow prisoners Clint and Natasha—all submissives—are treated as slaves and forced to carry out terrorist attacks for their masters. An attack by the Avengers enables their escape but leaves Bucky with an incomplete soul bond to two superheroes.

Vowing to never be imprisoned again, Bucky and his friends go on the run from HYDRA, from law enforcement, and from the two dominants who will do anything to find him.

Don’t Tell Pepper by Crematosis

Tony convinces Steve that it is totally okay to include Bucky in their relationship because nobody will ever know. They’ll keep it a secret from the team and they’ll absolutely keep it a secret from Pepper because she’ll only yell at them.

Like most of Tony’s good ideas, it comes back to blow up in his face.

Underneath the Mistletoe by DreamcatchersDaughter @dreamcatchersdaughter

5 times Tony gets caught underneath the mistletoe and one time he doesn’t (and thank fuck for that).

and another like it by the same author:

Christmas Kisses (aka Sam is So Done With Your Shit)

Their mutual pining is driving him crazy, but its okay cause Natasha’s got a plan.

The Colors That Bind Us by yasminakohl @stuckonstoney

When Steve Rogers was six a boy saved him from a bully, then sky went from white-gray to brilliant blue.

When Bucky fell, the world stayed colorful and everyone told him it was because of the serum, he believed them.

When he woke from the ice and he finds the black and white he’d expected years ago, sixty-six years ago it seems, he’s crushed.

Now there’s color again, this time it comes with amazing reds and golds.

Until he wakes up and his sky is brilliant and his color mate is trying to kill him, his first color mate.

Will Steve ever be able to have his blue, red and gold?

The Melting, the Spark, and the Suffocation by btBatt @batterology

“So, Bucky,” he said, clapping his hands. “You ready to change the lives of asthmatic little punks everywhere?” Bucky sent a skeptical look Steve’s way.

“It seems to be my calling in life,” he said. Steve just smiled. He looked a little like he was having a moment, one of his oh-my-God-I-have-Bucky-back moments, so Tony smiled too.

“There are worse things,” Tony mused.

“Hear, hear,” Natasha said.

The Limitations of Wax by RayShippouUchiha @rayshippouuchiha (Juulna’s note: This has been untouched for quite a while but there are separate WiPs being written and branched off of this – and completed – that are fantastic, and the core character study in this fic is fantastic so I still recommend it.)

Toni Stark grows up with the tale of Icarus swirling in the back of her mind. Instead of taking it as a precautionary tale about hubris and overreaching she decides it’s more about the limitations of wax.

Years later when she builds herself wings of her own she makes sure to build them out of better material.

Difficult Conversations by yumekuimono @yumekuimono

HYDRA had brainwashed their Asset into silence, and then muzzled him to boot. It’s not that surprising that Bucky no longer considers talking to be one of his strong suits. So why does he keep having to have difficult conversations?

Or, the road to loving Tony Stark is never an easy one. (Juulna’s note: Eventual/Pre-OT3)

Strip it Down by Batfink

“Think about who you’re talking to Bucky. I am the technology king. What you’re asking me to do goes against everything I hold dear.” Tony looked positively distraught.

Bucky slid his hand onto Tony’s cheek, tilting his head until their eyes met. “Crying, Tony. Over the fucking washing machine.”

Giving a Friend a Hand by neunundneunzig (seasidesunset)

Bucky gets Tony’s help dealing with… anatomy malfunctions, and it turns into much more.

Operation: Knuckleheads by FestiveFerret @festiveferret

Bucky is enjoying his new, post-Winter Soldier life at Avengers Tower, until he discovers that the constant tension between Steve and Tony was caused by a recent (and mysterious) breakup. Determined to make his friends happy, Bucky gives himself a new mission: figure out what went wrong, and get these two idiots in love back together again.

Compass Heading by antigrav_vector @disco-pinecone

So… It’s complicated. Steve went and got himself killed on a mission, and, somehow, in the aftermath, Tony ended up getting together with Barnes. He’s still not entirely sure how that happened, really, but he’s not about to question it too hard. He’s enjoying it too much.

Then, because the universe loves turning his life upside down, they find Steve. It’s been two years, and things have changed, but Tony still cares about the asshole, and that, right there, is a problem.

Too Damn Short by MrShyRockstar

“I’m too short for this shit.”

This literally sums up this little ficlet. Tony’s too short, Steve is clearly (to anyone with eyes *coughnottonycough*) pining, and Bucky is just watching everything with exasperated amusement. That is all.

Put Your Arms Around Me, Hold Me Tight by StarSpangledBucky

Tony and Bucky desperately need to sort out the kink in their relationship, before they both lose Steve, or one of them does. It isn’t until the second week Steve is away on a mission that Tony goes through a nightmare, and Bucky decides to comfort him. From there, it gives them a chance to talk. And by the time Steve comes back, he’s more than satisfied by the results.

Minefields by arianapeterson19 (Juulna’s note: Please heed the tags! Content is triggering for abusive relationships.)

Being in an abusive relationship was a bit like needing glasses. He didn’t realize it until the damage was done.

Funny how people assume only men can be abusive.

And a new fic by a new author I would like to recommend to people to read:

Lonely Boy by thereddame @the-red-dame

Tony gets a visit from a Tony from a different universe and she needs him to help keep her children safe until Girl-Tony can kick some HYDRA ass. She’s being pretty tight-lipped about the father but he’s got a sneaking suspicion it’s Steve. Hey, maybe he can get ‘best babysitter in the universe’ award after this?

I’m sure since you are sending me an ask you know about my fics (though maybe not my oneshot), but I’ll list them anyway. ;)

Necrosis by Juulna

Necrosis (from the Greek νέκρωσις “death, the stage of dying, the act of killing” from νεκρός “dead”)

Tony always thought he’d die first, of the three of them. He’d accepted it, even. Hell, he wasn’t even sure that Steve or Bucky coulddie. Shows how much he knew.

Hanging From a Cross of Iron by Juulna

Toni Stark never - not even once - had a soulmark appear. Not one she can remember, at any rate. But when one finally appears, and the date of her rendezvous seems impossible to meet, does she decide to move on with her life, and forget the words written upon her skin?

Of course not. She’s Toni fucking Stark. Making the impossible possible is practically her family motto.

Well… there we go! I hope that that suffices for recommendations? If you want some more, I’m happy to provide them! Happy reading, and don’t forget:

Leave the authors your love in the form of a kudos and/or comment!

MUAH! xoxo

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imagine-darksiders · 6 years

Note

How about Karn asking Death for approval to court the tiny human?

Oh wow. I got some serious Karn feels writing this. :(

It got away from me a bit, admittedly. (I’m saying it sucks) But basically: Thane gives some sound advice, Death is selfish and Karn just can’t catch a break.

—

“HeyKarn!”

Theyoung maker jumps a literal foot in the air, crashing back down toEarth and rocking you on your feet when he does.

“Y/N!?”he yelps, spinning to face you and practically throwing his hands behindhis back in a not-so-subtle attempt to hide whatever he has clenchedbetween his thick, gloved fingers. “W-what’re youdoing here!?”

“Niceto see you as well,” you smirk playfully, jabbing a thumb over yourshoulder towards the Foundry. “Old Boneheadover there managed to wear out anotherpair of boots, if you’d believe it. Said he needed to ask Alya ifshe had any spares.” Eyeing the maker suspiciously, you jut yourchin over at his concealed hands. “What’ve you gotthere?”

Karnblanches and stiffens. His shoulder muscles bulge dangerously withhow tightly his arms are being squashed backwards. “Oh, nothin’.S’nothin’….”

“Uhhuh…”You raise a skeptical eyebrow at the young maker, noting the way thevery tips of his ears have started to tinge pink. You let it slidethough, fully aware that Karn has his quirks that are better leftunchallenged. Instead, you wink up at him with a hopeful grin. “So, am I evergoing to get a proper ‘Hello’ then?”

Karnlooks around nervously, clutching his hidden prize ever tighter and flushing even pinker. “I, uh…Wellyeah,I just need to, uhhhh….”

At thatmoment, a pair of loud, thunderous footsteps come thumping down thestone steps towards you. They shake the ground at their approach,bouncing a few pebbles into the air, but you simply grin when ahearty laugh booms through the quiet forge.

“Maker’sbeard! Didn’t think you were ever coming to see us again!”

Turningaround, you beam up at the old warrior, Thane, as he bends a knee andtakes your hand between his thumb and forefinger.

“Comeon, oldman,”you tease, “You know I go where Death goes. Ifyou’ve got a complaint about not seeing me enough, you’llhave to take it up with him.”

A smirkstretches the warrior’s scarred lip at the ‘old man’comment, but he’d never give you the satisfaction of a retort. Yourhand still resting in his, Thane utilises all of his willpower to beas gentle as possible when he gives your fingers a quick stroke withhis thumb. “Welcome back, Y/n. Forge ain’t the same withoutyou around.”

Meanwhile,at Thane’s perfectly-timed, unaware distraction, Karn takes theopportunity to hurriedly stuff his secret item into one of thesatchels hanging beside his hip. When it’s done, he breathes a silentsigh of relief and slumps forward.

Thesound of your light laughter draws his attention again. Theyoungest maker’s grey eyes rove down to where you stand beforeThane, seeing that you’re still exchanging a friendly greetingwith the elder.

Karn’slips twitch at the mere sight of you.

Eversince you’d first stepped nervously into The Cauldron, peeking outfrom behind your horseman companion, Karn’s entire world hadstarted to become just that littlebit brighter.

Hehad seen the light behind your eyes and felt, firsthand, theboundless compassion of your heart. You’d been thrown into a newworld with no guarantee of survival, no hope for a future, but you’dmet him with a smile and a promise to help in any way youcould.

At thefirst sign of danger, you’d been scared. Of course you were,how could you not be? You were so small and new. But behind thefrightened eyes and nervous trepidation, Karn could faintly make outthe tiniest spark of excitement. There was a fire in you that burnedsoftly, but surely. It wasn’t obvious, too quelled by the traumayou’d received in the recent months following the end of yourworld, but the flame was undoubtedly there.

Itwasn’t love at first sight, mainly because the maker wasn’t surewhat love was. He’d merely been enraptured that he finally had a real, honest friend.Then, slowly, the more time you spent around the forge, the more hebecame aware of a strange, unexplored swell of fondness that began togrow in his chest.

Withouteven knowing it, Karn had tripped, tumbled, rolled and clumsilynose-dived into love with you.

Andhe has to let you know. He hasto.

Abruptly,the maker is pulled from his thoughts when he finally notices theabsence of sound. He jolts, eyes focusing on you as you stare up athis face with a cocked eyebrow. With a sinking feeling, Karn realisesthat he’d been caught staring at you this entire time and you’djust asked him a question, but he’d no idea what it was.

“Huh?”he utters, lamely.

Puffingout your cheeks, you squint into Karn’s confused eyes. “Isaid,are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem like yourself today…”

Themighty heart within his chest skips a beat or two. Nobodyever notices him like you do. Nobody wants to know.

“Ohno,I’m right as rain,” he nervously chuckles.

Onceagain, you shoot him a concerned glance and bite your lip, but then,you shrug, strolling past him and patting his hand fondly as you do.

“Oooookay,well, I’m gonna go catch up with the twins and Warden. Come find melater, okay?”

“A-aye!”he calls, gazing after you as you trot towards the forge.

Thanewatches the interaction with mild interest. “You know Pup,” hesays, startling Karn from his love-struck trance, “If you wanted tobe any more obvious, we could always hammer a sign onto your foreheadthat says ‘I’m pining after the horseman’s charge.”

Theyoung maker’s blush rockets from the tips of his ears to the top ofhis shoulders at Thane’s suggestion. “Whu-?”

“Ohcome off it, boy.” The warrior rolls his eyes in exasperation.“Even the Warden knows you’ve got your head all in a tizzy overthat little human. And if heknows…” Thane jabs a forefinger into Karn’s chest. “…You canbet that Deathknows too.”

“N'why’sthatso important?” The young maker brushes the warrior’s hand away withgrumble.

Shakinghis head at the cluelessness of his fellow maker, Thane answers,“It’s important,because I don’t think it’d be a bright idea to try and come between tall, dark and gruesome and Y/n. There’s…. somethin’ there. Somethin’ I don’tthink you ought'ta disrupt. Death might not…appreciateit.”

“Well,what else am I s'posed to do?” the young one retorts, “I can’tget Y/n out of my head. I need to tell someone something soon or I’ll-I’ll-”He breaks off and rubs his temple with a tender hand.

Besidehim, Thane blows air through his lips, loudly. “Look,” thewarrior offers, “If you’re really sure about this; a word ofadvice.” He steps closer to Karn and lowers his voice marginally,peering up Muria’s steps, where the horseman had ventured not longago. “I’d approach him about this first…”

“Approachwho?”

Witha huff, the older maker cuffs Karn over the back of his head. “Whatare you, daft,boy?” he scolds, “The horseman,you twit! Who’d you think?”

Karn’slips part in a soft 'oh’ of understanding.

But he’s reluctant. It’s mostly because he hates the thought of confronting the horseman aboutsomething so inherently private. Surely Death trusts you to be able to make your own decisions?

His eyes follow Thane’s, up thestone steps towards Muria, before swivelling back down to watch youslip quietly through the large doorway that takes you through to theMaker’s Forge. Quickly, Karn makes up his mind.

Beforehe loses his nerve, he has to tell you how he feels. Hang thehorseman, this isn’t about him. It’s about you.It’s always been about you.

“Eh, sorry Thane,” he mutters, “But I was hoping to avoid Death with this..”

Throwing his arms up, the warrior lets out a gruff sigh. “Argh, do what you like, Pup. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” With that, he abruptly turns on his heel and stalks back to his training circle, grumbling to himself about ‘impossible youths.’

As he leaves, Karnrushes after you down the steps. He’s just about to reach the door,thrusting a hand into his pocket to retrieve your gift when suddenly,he finds his path blocked.

Fromthe staircase that leads up to Muria’s stone gazebo, Death slithersin front on him, effectively stopping the young maker in his tracks.A pair of blazing, fearsome eyes glare up with an intensity strongenough to force Karn back a step or two.

Deathcocks his head to the side, considering the youngling for a fewmomenrts. “Going somewhere, Karn?” he asks, voice holding anunspoken warning, “Why the rush?”

Feelinghis resolve shatter under the horseman’s scrutinising glare, Karnhurriedly yanks his hand from the satchel and starts to twiddle histhumbs, nervous. “Horseman!” he tries, cheerfully, “I just…Iwas just on my way to tell Y/n somethin’, that’s all.”

“Oh?And that somethingcouldn’t have been mentioned when you were both talking a momentago?”

Themaker pauses. “W-well. I uh, forgot?Only just nowremembered what the question even was!”

Death’shead tilts in the opposite direction and he folds his grey, sinewyarms over his chest. “Really?But you appear so keento ask it! Seems a tad too important to have simply slippedyourmind?”

Ina matter of seconds, Karn takes in the horseman’s posture, his toneof voice and the way he’d positioned himself directly in the way ofthe door, through which you’d just disappeared.

Deathgives off an aura of a coiled spring. His arms are taut and tenseagainst his chest and the way he’s standing…..Karn notes that he’sseen that poise before.

It’sa guarding stance, usually reserved for whenever a corruptedconstruct or foul demon turns its muzzle towards you. Discreetly,casually, the horseman would manoeuvre his way in front of you andinto the path of the relevant threat.

Andright now, the perceived threat happens to be a love-sick maker.

Deathis guarding you from Karn.

It’swith a slow, sinking feeling in his gut that the young makerrealises, Thane wasright.

’Thebugger’s onto me...’

Heswallows thickly and tries to work out whether it would be best tolie to the horseman, or come clean and face his wrath regardless.

’Yeah,neither option sounds ideal,’he groans mentally. In the end, he settles for something that’sneither a lie, nor a confession.

“Alrighthorseman, what’s this about?”

“You’vebeen very distractedof late,” Death says with feigned concern, “That wouldn’t havesomething to do with Y/n,now would it?”

Theway he’s drumming his finger tips against one bicep is enough toindicate that trying to deny anything would be a badidea.

Pursinghis lips, Karn glances off to a spot just right of the horseman andshrugs. “It might,” he dares.

Deathmoans loudly and pinches the nose-ridge of his mask, grumbling,“First Draven and now thePup…”

“Draven?”Karn feels a twinge of jealousy flare up in his chest. “Who’sDraven?”

“Nevermind that,” the horseman barks, waving his hand side to side inaggravation. He throws the maker a grim but somewhat sympatheticlook. “I want you to listen to me carefully, Pup.Whatever you thinkyou’re feeling, whatever is going on in that brain of yours, it needsto stop.”

“Howdo youknow what’s going on in my-”

“I’mnot an idiot,Karn,” the horseman spits, “I’ve seen the way you look at thathuman. How your gazes always linger just a little toolong. Well, it ends today. I’m sorry.”

Themaker’s brow knits together and he tries to shift the heavy weightthat’s settling itself over his heart.

“Idon’t know if I can just….stop,” he whines.

“You’regoing to haveto,” Death replies in a clipped tone. Then, more softly, “There’sno life for a human here,” he rumbles, “you cannot be a tie thatbindsY/n to this realm. If you tell that little human that you’re in love,do you know what’ll happen? Y/n will feel tornbetween staying in the Forge Lands, for you, and returning to Earth,to home.There’s a heart in that chest that’s too large for it’s own good. Aheart that’ll breakif Y/n has to choose between staying here and going home. I won’t letyou hurt my friend like that, Karn, I simply won’t.”

Karnshakes his head rapidly, drilling into Death with imploring eyes.“I’d neverwant that! I’d never hurt-”

“Thenkeep your feelings to yourself.”The horseman’s hiss lacks any real heat, he just sounds tired. Butwhether Death is trying to be cruel or not, Karn’s heart ruptures allthe same.

Asigh pulls the maker’s attention back to the being in front of thedoor. “Come now, Karn,” Death murmurs, “it wouldn’t work outanyway. I don’t think you’re Y/n’s type.” With that said, he turnsand ambles towards the entrance to the Maker’s Forge, pulling itopen, he casts Karn a guilty glance before letting the doors fallshut in his wake.

Quietsettles over the forge once more. Not even the gentle tumble of waterthat runs through the Tri Stone, nor the faint clangs of metal onwood where Thane bullies some poor training dummy could puncturethrough the ringing in Karn’s ears.

It’sa well known fact that Makers can’t cry. Or if they can, nobody hasever been around to witness the event.

Theyoungest of the makers touches a tentative hand to his cheek andpulls it away, inspecting the fingertips to find a strange wetnesscoating his leather gloves. They’re not tears though, no. Thatwould be outrageous. Who’d ever heard of a maker that cries?

No.The wetness is just from the sweat that trickled down from hisforehead during Death’s interrogation.

Angrily,Karn scrubs at his face whilst slumping heavily against the low wallat his back. With a gentleness he’d only recently discovered he wascapable of, the maker reaches into the satchel at his side and fishessomething out of it. He brings his fist up to eye level and unfurlshis fingers, slowly. A dull ache begins to throb in his throat whenhe sees the sorry state the flowers are in.

He’d handled them tooroughly.

Petals of vivd blue lay scattered and crumpled in his hand.Others are yellow with red tipped edges, vaguely resembling Earth’sroses. The stems that he’d haphazardly snapped off in his eagerness topresent them to you, are twisted and limp and half-crushed from beingstuffed into a bag. Karn’s lips twist into a disgruntled sneer as heglares down at the flowers in his hand.

’That’sjust what you do, isn’t it?’he berates himself mercilessly. ’Youruinthings. You ruined these flowers. You’d’ve ruined your chance to savethe realm, were it not for the horseman.’He takes a shuddering breath and clenches his fist tightly over thedelicate petals. ’Andthat’s what you’d do to Y/n….’

'Thehorseman’s right. You hurt people.’

Finally,Karn turns his hand over and allows the small, ruined flowers tofloat down, out of his hand. He watches them fall for a time, thenturns and slowly trundles towards the gate leading out into the Vale.He passes Thane, barely registering the older maker’s curious grunt.In reply, Karn presses his lips into a thin line, meeting thewarrior’s gaze with a small shake of his head. Thane’s own lips curlawkwardly, unsure of how to offer consolation. But Karn doesn’t wantit.

Hejust wants to be alone.

Alone, asusual.

#darksiders #darksiders 2 #imagine darksiders #karn #death #thane #reader #karn whump #fluff #hurt no comfort #is this self projection?#you better believe it :D

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tanadrin · 7 years

Text

This pisses me off so, so much. Warning: what follows is not very calm. Probably not very charitable either. I write “fuck” a lot.

I disagree with Scott about a lot of things (and I’m not gonna @ him here, because I’m sure somebody with his online presence gets a lot of stupid hate mail, and if I were him, I would have no interest in seeing more). I think Scott discounts the effects of systemic racism a bit too much, he’s more libertarian than I am, and I think his pro-Dark Ages argument misses the point somewhat. I also think he worries too much about AI, and he once compared the Bay Area to Renaissance Florence in a way that I think was a little funny.

But holy shit, Slate Star Codex is “evil?” What kind of utter bullshit is this? Who, in possession of a single shred of self-awareness or basic human fucking decency, has the capacity to sit down and write a tweet like this, and then post it? A single utterly shallow pass of a blog like Slate Star Codex reveals it to be the work of a person who is deeply concerned with the suffering of his fellow human beings, someone who cares intensely about truth, about doing the right thing, and more than that, exhibits a fucking rare virtue in this benighted age of caring more about *actually* doing the right thing than *being seen* to be doing the right thing: someone who cares more about having a *good, correct, useful* opinion rather than an opinion that is *seen to be good, seen to be correct, or seen to be useful*. I don't want to exaggerate too much, but discovering Slate Star Codex several years ago didn't just expand my intellectual horizons, it *made me a better person* in specific ways: the emphasis Scott put on charity and compassion in some of his earlier posts made me fundamentally re-evaluate how I approach certain kinds of personal interaction, especially online, and reawakened in me a concern for cultivating certain specific virtues that I had left unattended for years prior to that point. Like, I'm not saying you have to read SSC to be a good person (plainly not), but in what fucking universe can SSC be construed in any useful sense as "evil"?

Do you know what this reeks of to me? This reeks to me of the only criticism I ever hear levelled of Scott, outside of people who are (and yes I hate the term) rationalist-adjacent: whenever SSC posts poke their head into a more mainstream corner of the internet (one where they are less heavily contextualized by a norm of honest truthseeking and calm debate), I only ever see contempt levelled at Scott and at the rest of the rationalist tribe, and this is contempt of a deeply anti-intellectual cast. How dare these nerds, says this contempt, how dare these nerds, these utter fools, try to engage in calm and honest debate? How dare these nerds be interested in truth for its own sake, and much less not register beforehand their obesiance to our particular cultural norms or the basic assumption of our worldview? How dare they not take on a specific label, of capital-L Libertarian, or Proud Social Justice Warrior, or dyed-in-the-wool True American Patriot, so that we know which box to dump them in, which label to slap on them, so that we don't ever have to read what they actually write, so that we don't ever have to judge their ideas on their actual content or their arguments on their actual epistemological and methodological narrative, so we can ignore them and instead react to what we have imagined they have written?

And to make this bullshit even more galling, they then go on to project whatever label they imagine to be most dramatic or most threatening--to call Effective Altruists cold-hearted sociopaths, or label people worried about AI risk or hopeful for the Singularity to be nerds crazed by watching too much sci-fi, or to call all rationalists libertarians or authoritarians or technocrats (pick one, each of those is mutually exclusive!)--and they *still* never actually engage with the ideas presented. Nevermind the factual claims: even the more general, more basic, "here is how to be epistemologically humble, and, incidentally, not a giant asshole in online discussions." I guess at this point there's nothing *more* threatening to a huge swathe of the internet's self-perception than people who go "hey, maybe we shouldn't be a giant asshole to each other online", which goes a long way to explaining why you might need to reduce Scott's huge and varied and really interesting output to a snarky tweet that implies mansplaining and "a dusting of evil."

I am so fucking sick of tone arguments and clever put-downs and snark and sneering being mistaken for insight and wisdom and things which are actually *useful and interesting and good.* I am so fucking sick of this notion that we can't just interact with each other (especially in online spaces), we can't just share ideas in a forthright and honest fashion (and shitposts and stupid jokes), but we have to position our particular subculture to be *better* than your particular subculture. You know what? All subcultures are dumb. And everything is subcultures. Your Yale English department, your Caltech physics department, your My Little Pony subreddit, your anti-malaria NGO, your merry band of twitter followers: it's all subcultures all the way down, we're all just human beings doing their best to muddle through life and advance the cause of the ideas and the people we care about, and insisting that you're so much better than someone else, that your ideas are so much more worthy, the pure contempt you must feel to so cackhandedly smear something as essentially decent as SSC, is not making the world a better place. You, and everybody who smugly retweeted you, should feel ashamed of yourself.

P.S.: Scott, if you do see this for some reason, I think you're awesome, and you do great stuff. Don't listen to the haters.

#rant #holy shit i'm angry #might delete this later #but ffs when did ok the tone of this guy's writing isn't for me become a reason to morally judge someone?

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 6 years

Note

Hi! 🦇 Friendly reminder about your AU Lucy Westenra plot (context: My KMG characters who deserved better ask where you mentioned the plot in the replies). 🦇😊 I'm actually about to go on holiday for under a week, so please feel no rush with sharing it. I'd be honored to read it some time. You've quite the way with words. 😄🌸🌷🌹🥀🌻🌼🌺 Hope you have a lovely day/night, friend.

((this is a long one! more under the cut))

((cw for abusive 19th Century mental health institutions and unhappy coming out stories, but also for badass lesbians living their true lives))

In my version, the show diverges shortly after Lucy is manipulated into confessing her feelings for Mina, both to Mina herself and to her parents. Her parents react horribly to what Lucy confesses about her feelings for women, and have her committed to the facility run by Mina’s father.

Dr. Murray is kind, and progressive for his time. After the requisite intake interview, he determines that Lucy isn’t mad at all. When Mina comes to him, panicked upon finding out what had happened to her friend, he tells her that Lucy’s feelings are as natural as the love between a man and a woman. It is not an illness, or a psychosis.

(As an aside, Dr. Murray remarks how brave Lucy must have been to confess the truth to her family-- or anyone, for that matter, given how averse society is to anything that is different. At that, Mina starts to feel badly at how she’d reacted.)

Despite nothing being wrong with her, Dr. Murray lets her remain in his facility, where she is treated well and Mina visits everyday. They start to rebuild their friendship, and heal from their recent rift, but Lucy’s family starts getting impatient when little progress is made. Despite Dr. Murray’s warnings that her parents likely will not accept her homosexuality, Lucy refuses to pretend otherwise, refuses to conform. Bolstered by what Lady Jayne had said to her/made her feel, and with Mina’s renewed faith in her, she staunchly refuses to get married asap as her father demands.

Dr. Murray tries to explain to Lucy’s parents, but they refuse to believe their daughter is healthy. After a time, when they realize Mina has been visiting so often, they wonder whether Lucy’s friendship with Mina is what “corrupted” her. They remove Lucy from the Murrays’ care and admit her to another, less savory institution.

The new facility is cold, and dark-- visiting hours are shorter, and farther between. Mina tries to visit as often as she can, but she’s often restricted from doing so-- according to the people who turn her away, Lucy is often ill, or has refused visitors herself, or lost privileges for reasons unknown.

The few times Mina does get to visit her, Lucy seems less and less like herself. She loses her vivacity, and says very little. She grows pale and withdrawn, and during their final visit, Lucy breaks down and confesses her fear of remaining in that facility even one more day, begs for Mina’s help. Mina vows to act, even as the orderlies come to end their visit early.

Mina immediately goes to Jonathan for help. She shares everything, from the change in Lucy to the way the asylum has restricted their visitation, to the bruises she’s noticed on Lucy’s wrists and the orderly she recognized who used to work for her father (and was fired for being too rough with the patients). Jonathan listens to it all, and then takes Mina by the hand and tells her there’s nothing they can do.

Lucy is unmarried, he reminds her, and as such her care is at the discretion of her family.

Horrified by his lack of compassion, Mina runs to Alexander. He wastes no time in taking action-- Mina almost has to run to catch up as he returns with her to the asylum to break Lucy out that night. They find her, drugged and with a new bruise staining her cheek. Ignoring the protests of the nurses, then the orderlies, and then the head administrator, Alexander has his man Renfield scoop Lucy up and carry her to their carriage.

They install Lucy in one of the many spare rooms in Alexander’s home, and Mina stays with her as she recovers. When Jonathan comes to find Mina, she sends him away. His lack of compassion that afternoon has made her seriously reconsider their engagement, and for now, her priority is Lucy. She will contact him when she is ready.

Though Lucy’s health returns, her spirit remains tempered by her ordeal. She doesn’t speak much, about anything, though she is gracious and grateful for Mina’s and Alexander’s help. When Lucy’s father learns what happens and comes looking for Lucy, Alexander heads him off at the door. Lucy clings to Mina and listens as her father’s bellow carries down the corridor: Lucy is no longer welcome in their home. The Westenras have no daughter.

Eventually Lady Jayne learns what happened. She calls on Lucy, both out of guilt and in genuine concern. To her surprise, when Lucy harbors no anger for Jayne’s role in what happened to her. Lucy instead speaks at length for the first time, and confesses that while she knows Jayne manipulated her for reasons she can’t discern, Lucy is still grateful to her.

Whatever Jayne’s reasons for manipulating Lucy that day, their time together helped Lucy come to terms with who she was. She had plenty of chances to earn her freedom-- she could have denounced her nature, claimed to have been mistaken, gone home and married her current suitor posthaste. But because Jayne had validated her feelings for Mina, shown her the life she could have, and what true happiness might look like, Lucy remained true to herself and refused to be shackled to a life of being nothing more than a man’s wife.

Jayne regrets her part in what happened. But as Lucy speaks, calm and determined and resolute in the choices she made for herself, Jayne sees a spark of something familiar. She offers to teach Lucy how to live independently, how to fight, and live without answering to any man.

Lucy agrees, without hesitation.

She leaves with Jayne that afternoon, and goes to stay with her. As Mina tries to reconcile her failing engagement with Harker and address the strange attraction she feels for Alexander, Lucy learns the way of the hunter. Somewhere between throwing her first punch and holding her first crossbow, the fog of trauma lifts, and in its wake Lucy finds a deep, abiding anger. It lends her an aggression that makes her a quick study, and the moment Jayne treats her as a capable student (and not just as a pretty face, as everyone else in her life has ever done), Lucy begins to flourish.

The next time she and Mina meet, Mina instantly notices the change in her. Lucy has never been demure, but she now carries herself with a new self-assuredness, no longer reaching for the world but letting it to come to her. Her smiles come less easy now, but her charm still oozes from her, in the way she carries herself, in her confidence, and the way she speaks expecting to be heard. Most notably changed is the sharp gleam in her eye, just spoiling for a fight.

And fight she does. She shadows Jayne on her nightly prowls, first as an observer and then an active participant. They make a good team, and before long they are nearly equals, close friends and sometimes lovers (though never romantic partners). One night, however, one of their vampiric opponents throws Lucy off-kilter-- the orderly who had once worked for Mina’s father, turned only a short time ago. He gets away in the moment of Lucy’s hesitation, but it gives them the unexpected chance to follow him back to his lair…

Which turns out to be the very asylum Mina had helped Lucy escape. The place is crawling with vamps, mingling with innocent patients. With the help of other hunters, they clear out the place, sneaking the human patients out to the safety of Dr. Murray’s facility, while sealing the inhuman occupants inside. They torch the entire building, and Lucy watches with Lady Jayne at her side as vampires scream and perish within.

They don’t save everyone. Some of the recent turns had been patients-- people Lucy had met during her brief stay. While she would hesitate to call them friends, they were victims, and Lucy’s empathy extends to them readily. She resents that they were so vulnerable, that no one noticed that evil had taken hold in that building long before the vampires came. Anger coils inside her, hot and volatile.

The Hunters officially accept Lucy into their ranks that night, and share what their true purpose had been, when they allied with the Order of the Dragon centuries ago. So with a belly full of righteous anger and the full might of her fellow Hunters at her disposal, Lucy Westenra sets her sights on Dracula.

A/N: This was my first blush story arc, and having spent time tidying it up for blog purposes, I’m now wondering whether the asylum bit is necessary. I mean, it’s certainly not outside the realm of historical realism, but I’m asking myself whether another lesbian being treated poorly is the story we need to see, so that part is open to change.

The important part is that instead of Jayne being a horrendous bitch and then dying, she takes baby-lesbian Lucy under her wing and teaches her to spit in the face of contemporary convention by being a kick ass Huntress. It also brings Lucy back into the Dracula arc again, on her own terms.

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b-radley66 · 6 years

Note

A prompt if you want it: Shaak Ti interacts with the Blackbirds at some point after they've been assembled. Would love seeing your take on how she views the squad and how she views their lieutenant. XD (Only if you want, though. Might spur me on writing this training mission.)

Blackbirds: Mother of the Hunt

Shaak Ti steps off of the gunship, a second before it takes off again. She takes a deep breath, breathing in the dust. For an instant, she stands on another dusty world, watching clones under her command assault a droid control ship. Of course, she watched them after she had leaped to the top of the grounded vessel and is cheerfully hurling parts of droids off of the top.

She hears a dry Corellian drawl in her mind, in the unbroken training bond. Aren’t you a little serene and wise to be thinking about being cheerful? the voice snarks.

Watch it, infant. I wouldn’t be too snarky. Have you gotten the neon pink out of your beard yet?

There is silence in the bond. It was green, he says with as much dignity as an early-twenties human male can offer.

Ti clears her head as a familiar figure walks up. She smiles and returns Obi-Wan Kenobi’s bow, her eyes growing troubled at the lines around his mouth; the half armor on his torso. He is only five years younger than she is.

“Hello, Master Ti. It is good to see you. How goes it on Kamino?”

“As well as can be expected, Master Kenobi,” she says. “It is a daily battle with the Kaminoans to improve the lot of the clones; to have basic guarantees that the boys want be ended the second they get a hangnail.”

He nods soberly. “I am glad that you are there, Master Ti. I only hope that we can get this horrible war over with and then solve what we can do with these men. These men who have shown us nothing but loyalty.” He grins. “How is your former Padawan? Has he gotten the paint out of his hair and beard?”

She feels the smile of pride flow to her features. She fights the urge to pull her comm and show pictures. “I don’t know. Last I heard he was clean shaven for the first time in years, as well as walking around with a distinctly Master Windu look. I only hope that he keeps his impression of said Master to himself.” She touches Kenobi on the shoulder. “I guess I should thank Lieutenant Maul and his troops for teaching he and Drop a tiny bit of humility.”

Kenobi grins. “Only a tiny bit. A ‘drop’ in the bucket.”

Ti rolls her eyes and smirks.

The expression of huntresses on her world fades as she sees Kenobi’s face grow sober. “That is why I asked you here, Master. You have had great success in training Jedi by unconventional means, in the Hunt on your world. Not just Croft and my former Padawan’s apprentice, but others whose Masters have wanted an edge for their trainees—an edge to connect them with the natural world and the Force around us.”

Ti remains silent as she watches Kenobi gather his thoughts. “I believe that Maul is doing an extraordinary job at training his unit. I think that he has melded this diverse bunch of troopers into what will be an effective, unconventional force, much like your former apprentice’s.”

He looks down. “I would like you to give an honest assessment to Maul. I think he needs to hear it from someone who is not named Kenobi.” Obi-Wan looks up sharply. “I would also like you to give one to Croft.”

Ti nods. “I know. Taliesin has found himself the senior General in the Special Operations Division, since Janysytang was killed.” She closes her eyes for a moment, fighting the pain of her thoughts. All of twenty-two years old, she thinks, shielding the thought from the training bond.

“You know I voiced my own skepticism at this endeavor at the first, Obi-Wan,” she says quietly.

“I know, Master. I know that Master Qui-gon—.”

She holds up her hand, stopping him in mid-thought. “No, Obi-Wan. It is not that. I am a Jedi. I remember that one of our tenets is compassion. Out of compassion, comes forgiveness.” She grins crookedly, an unconscious copy of her Padawan’s usual expression. “Some would say that I am the living embodiment of second chances, with my track record.”

He nods solemnly, thinking of her two previous Padawans. Of their death before knighthood. Of her grief, so well contained behind the serene countenance. He shakes his head. He had gone to Shili to bring her back from her mourning period after the second. A thirteen year old human, only at the Temple for eight years, had been on page duty at the hangar when they had exited their shuttle.

The same young human, now a blooded General with so much responsibility.

“No, Obi-Wan. It is not Maul’s history. Rather, since I have become General of Training, I have felt a tremendous responsibility to these men. To give them as much of an edge as I can, so that they can survive to whatever we can do for them. I am just—.” She stops. “I am interested to see how someone who has never trained someone, who has only undergone Force knows what in the way of his own training with the Sith, can give the edge to these men.”

Kenobi smiles. “I think that you will be surprised, Shaak,” he says. “Just as I was surprised that day in the hangar when you immediately connected with that small Corellian, so soon after your losses.”

She remains quiet. An unknown clone officer with the insignia of a Captain walks up. Ti smiles broadly. “General Kenobi, this is Captain Pal, my adjutant. He is kind of an unconventional fellow himself. I think he knows one of your Blackbirds.” The officer salutes them both smartly.

Kenobi nods and beckons to another trooper. “Waxer. Please escort General Ti to the training area.”

As Ti leaves, Kenobi turns to Pal. “What did she mean, Captain, that you were an ‘unconventional fellow’?”

He can hear the smile in the officer’s voice, behind his bucket. “She meant that I didn’t know my ass from a hole in the ground, General,” he replies dryly. “Not until she made me. On Geonosis. The General has a way of finding the deepest hidden talent of someone. Watched her do it with many a hopeless group of shinies.” He stops for a moment. “May I speak freely, General?”

“Of course, Captain,” Kenobi answers.

“I know that Jedi don’t love. That they don’t feel pride. But I watch her as she stands there as the new battalions march past her. I see the love. The pride. Then I watch something die in her as they finish passing her.” He salutes again and leaves.

Kenobi is silent as he considers what this war is doing to them all.

~=~=~=~=~=

Pal walks down the company street. He curses himself as he wonders whether he had done his General, for whom he would gladly shield from any harm, be it another pissant jetti or an army of clankers, any favors by his openness to Kenobi.

He sees a clone in body suit, his hair long, but with a familiar look about him. He walks faster and pulls his bucket off.

The other clone, wearing the red crosses of a medic, stops. He grins. “Hello, Pal. Did you stop by for more airsickness patches?” The two clones bring their foreheads together.

Tally’s eyes widen as he sees the insignia and the pauldron. “You? Pukey? A captain? They must be hard up for officers.”

“They recognized my obvious charm and good looks,” Pal retorts. Tally laughs. “That is not the Pal I knew. He would’ve been looking at his feet after my first words to him. What happened and what have you done with my batch-mate?”

Pal looks away. “Geonosis, happened,” he says quietly. They both sober. “I heard. I heard you took over two companies and kicked a Jedi’s ass to get her moving, when she was ready to abandon you all.”

Pal feels his anger rise, tamps it down. “You only got it half right, bud,” he says, his teeth clinched. “I took over that wing, but that Jedi wasn’t ready to abandon us because she was a coward. She wanted someone else to take over, so that she could go and die. So that she could join her friends and what remained of her left arm in the arena on bug-world. I just gave her a reason to live.”

Tally falls silent. “You’re here for the inspection, right? To see if our L-T is good enough to keep us?” He turns and follows Pal to the training area.

“Yes. I am,” Pal says matter-of-factly.

“Then we’re as good as sunk. They’ll probably send the Lieutenant back to where he came from. I have never met a Jedi Master, except maybe Kenobi, who saw things outside of their doctrine.”

“You haven’t met General Ti, have you? You met her Padawan, General Croft, I heard.”

Tally snorts. “That ain’t exactly a glowing recommendation, my brother,” he says after a moment. “He is an immature little shit who thinks with his deece, half the time.”

Pal grins. “Sounds like most of the brothers I know. Don’t know about his maturity, Tally. But I know that he didn’t lose any of his commandos through ten missions. It was only when he got to his last campaign, a garden spot that we managed to abandon after he, Kenobi, Skywalker, and that little Commander, Tano, managed to wrest it from the Seppies.” He looks forward, watching his General observing the Blackbirds exercise. “He wasn’t even a General, yet.”

Tally looks as if to say something, but stops. Pal pushes forward. “Tally, I know how you feel about what our lives are. But there are good people—Jedi and our commanders who are fighting to make our lives better. People who think that we are worth it. From what I have heard, I think your Lieutenant is one of those.” He touches the medic on his cheek. “I know what you can do, Tally. How hard you work to keep our brothers alive. You have to have faith that you will be recognized for what you do. You’re a better doctor than most I have seen who have the fancy piece of paper. Might not be up to Surgeon-General Che, yet, but at least none of us are scared shitless around you.”

They both laugh. Pal turns and looks at his Jedi, her tall frame still and serene as she stands next to a figure who can only be Lieutenant Maul. Both watch as the squad works at Teras Kasi exercises.

He sees Tally’s eyes widen as Husker walks up to Ti. They both laugh, Ti with that full throated laugh, with full canines that only Pal and perhaps a young Zeltron get to see on all but the rarest of occasions. He smiles as Ti pulls Husker to her in a deep embrace, whispering into his ear.

Tally is thoughtful as they pull closer. Both of them see Rabbit lunge at the exercise leader, Sergeant Shiv, in an attempt to use a rare move.

They both wince as the shiny slips and falls to his knees, as he usually does. Both troopers watch as Maul walks over to the combat pair.

~=~=~=~=~=

Maul walks over to Rabbit and Shiv. He takes a deep breath and pulls Rabbit to his feet. “You are coming closer, Rabbit,” Maul says. “You just have to anticipate how he anticipates that move.”

Rabbit takes the proffered hand and stands. He hangs his head. He looks over Maul at the older version of Commander Half-Pint, watching quietly, her violet eyes taking it all in. Where Commander Tano was all energy and snark, this one was all serenity and quiet. Is this what Ahsoka will be like in another three decades or so? All that snark and laughter gone?

Rabbit looks down. “I am sorry, Lieutenant. I am making us look bad to that Jedi. I am making you look bad.”

Maul gives one of his small smiles. “Don’t worry about it, Rabbit. I only care that you get it and that you can use it to survive. Besides,” he says, the smile growing by millimeters. “You don’t want Rancor to show you up.”

He turns away. Six squares off against Shiv. “You can do it, trooper,” Shiv says. “But I ain’t going to give it to you.”

Rabbit curses as he goes flying through the air.

~=~=~=~=~=

Ti watches Maul’s expressionless face as the young clone goes flying. Even though he is quiet and his Force-sense is so contained, she can feel a very tiny bit of impatience. Almost imperceptible. He walks over to Rabbit.

Ti makes a decision. She touches him on his shoulder. She can feel the coiled power in that one touch. “Lieutenant Maul. This is your training exercise and I am no expert on this discipline, but may I try something?”

He stares at her, his golden eyes searching her face for any sign of displeasure. She smiles slightly, careful not to show her sharp canines. After a moment, he nods. “By all means, Master Ti.”

She walks over to Rabbit and pulls him up effortlessly. She pulls her robe off and hands it to Raze, who looks on with wide eyes. She is clad in singlet and skirt, her arms with much more power than the only other Togruta they had seen. His own eyebrows raise. A few more white markings on her arms than their sometime junior instructor.

Maul sees her whisper in Rabbit’s ears, away from Shiv. He listens attentively. Ti smiles as he nods and bows her head to him. She turns around and walks towards Maul, reclaiming her robe from the grinning Raze.

As she dons it, Rabbit and Shiv square off. This time Shiv lunges first. Rabbit easily sidesteps, then starts to lunge with the same move. Maul starts to close his eyes, then snaps them fully open as Rabbit jinks in another direction, then back to the center. His fists strike his opponent in the jaw, then whip around and strike Shiv on the neck.

Shiv goes down. Rabbit immediately is there helping him up, as Tally walks up. The other Blackbirds gather around them both, slapping Rabbit on the back and gently joshing Shiv, once they see he is on his feet, albeit shakily.

Maul looks at Ti, his eyes widen. He shakes his head and regains his equilibrium. “The Charging Wampa? I hadn’t taught them that yet.” He turns and squares off. Ti nearly laughs as he gives the impression of his feet planting to the ground—a move she has seen on another in her life. One who this young man and his men had caused to lose some hair and dignity.

“You didn’t say that you knew Teras Kasi, Master Ti,” he says.

“I don’t. Don’t know a damned bit of it,” she says. She smiles and bows her head to Maul. “I just told him to take the example of his Lieutenant—his teacher—and defy expectations.”

He remains silent. She continues. “No, you hadn’t taught them that move yet. But you have inspired them to go beyond and study more, to keep you on your toes as well.” This time she bares her teeth in her grin. “I think you will do just fine, Maul. When I walked up to this area, I felt the energy and the comradeship from this disparate group of troopers.” Maul looks away. “From you, most of all, Lieutenant. You who are so closed off. I felt it in you most of all. I think your friend Obi-Wan was right to entrust you with these men’s lives. They are as good for you, as you are for them.”

She turns to walk away.

“One more question, Master,” Maul asks. “Why did you remove your robe when you walked out there, then put it back on.”

It is her turn to look down. “Because that was their space. I was not a Jedi master, there. I am as much a student as they are,” she says.

Ti starts to turn away. She allows a gleam to come into her violet eyes. “ A couple of more things. I believe that when my former student’s hair grows in, he would look divine in purple. It is one of his family’s colors. Drop, as well.”

She walks away.

“You said two things, I believe Master Ti,” Maul says.

She is a blur as she reaches into her robes and skirt, down to her leg. Maul catches a glimpse of scarlet and skin as her right arm comes up and forward.

A hunting knife quivers in the dead center of a makiwara pole, used to hone punches.

Her huntress’s teeth are bared again as she looks at the entire squad. “Always carry a knife, gentlemen,” she says. She turns back to Maul. “Just in case you thought I was all talk, Lieutenant.”

Raze walks over to the blade and takes it. His face strains as he tries to pull it from the thick wooden post. Pal walks over and looks at it. “Don’t worry. She has others. That is just her teaching knife.”

~=~=~=~=~=

As Ti walks away, she hears the warm voice of Taliesin Croft. Thanks, Master. Guess we’ll be looking over our shoulders again.

She hears his voice in her mind grow serious. I miss you, my mother-of-the-hunt.

Shaak Ti manages to fight the tears from her eyes. As do I, my hunter.

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thewahookid · 5 years

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July 16, 2019 Reflection - A beautiful homily on love by Fr. Max

July 16, 2019 Our Lady of Mount Carmel Dear Family of Mary! Fr. Maximilian Dalvai- Homily for English Mass, Sunday, July 14, 2019: (The Gospel for this Mass was the Good Samaritan - Luke 10: 25-37) In the evening our of lives, St. John of the Cross states that we will be judged by the love that we have in our hearts. It is all about love. Your love counts. And in the new commandment that Jesus gives us, St. John says that it is old, but it is new. Because now it is in Christ, it is a different way of love, for He shows us the fullness of love. It is the two-fold commandment of love of God and love of neighbor. "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, with all your might." I think very few people confess that they have not lived up to the First Commandment, which is the root of all other commandments. To love God with all our soul, strength, mind is to be love. To fall in love, over and over again. First of all, it is always to believe in the love of God, which is not as natural as we think. So many times, we are afraid, and so how can we be afraid when we love? You can't believe in the love of God. So, believe in the love of God!! Open ourselves to the love of God. Let ourselves be loved. And with this love, love God. And fall in love over and over again. And in this love now, love our neighbor. In the love of God, the love of neighbor is real. And the love of neighbor is always proof that our love of God is real. The two belong to one another. But one is the source. The wellspring. The opposite of love on the one hand is hatred. Mary says that hatred is growing in the world. It is tremendous (terrible) to think of that. If love is a relationship in which one gives himself to another, the gift of self, then hatred is that relationship charged negatively. On the other hand, the opposite of love is not only hatred, but I think the worst enemy of love is indifference. Pope Francis speaks of the globalization of indifference, where we are so filled with self-love, so egocentric, that others do not count at all. It is tremendous (terrible). The evil one wants to plant in our hearts this indifference. This coldness where there is no place for compassion. In how many big cities people are dying in the street and nobody cares at all. This indifference towards man, our fellow brothers and sisters, has its root again in our indifference towards God. Mary, since the first messages, has said that the great sin of humanity today is that we know God exists, but we don't care. Indifference. This is the great sin of humanity today, because if we know God exists, it is a holy duty and a holy joy to look for Him, to search for Him, every day again. To make it an adventure every day to find God. Mary said, to even find Him in the smallest flower. Or in a little child. Find God continuously. Look for Him continuously. Because He lets himself be found! For those who look for Him, especially in prayer. Yes, we know that God exists. Knowledge alone is not enough. The doctor of the law who put Jesus to the test, the lawyer...he knows, but in his knowledge, he doesn't love. He puts to the test. There are so many people inside the Church who know these things, but they put others to the test to see of others live them. They look all over outside themselves, but they never question themselves. They are righteous, they are right because they go to church on Sunday and they do all the things which the law prescribes, but to know is not enough. Even the devil knows. He knows the Bible (we cannot say by heart because he has no heart) by head, but he doesn't live up to it. The priest and the Levite who pass by the unfortunate man who fell at the hands of the robber, they know. But their knowledge puts them in chains. There are human laws that can chain us. Because according to their law, a priest who worked in the Temple in Jerusalem, could not touch blood. Blood was sacred. So only the blood of the sacrifice in the tent could be touched. But profane blood outside the Temple could not be touched. He would have become impure, and it would be a long purification process to be again able to worship in the Temple. So, there are human laws that directly go against charity. If there is a human law that goes directly against charity which is the law of God, you have to reject that law. In France, for example, a law came out that if a young woman wants to have an abortion because she has no means, but there are other people who would like to help, and they put their announcement on the internet to offer help to women who have difficulties to bring their child to birth, help them financially and different ways, those announcements are no longer legal. You would be in conflict with the law if you tried to help someone to give birth to their child. Can you imagine? So, they have to find other ways, hidden ways, secret ways. But obviously the law of God is first always. So, knowledge is not enough. But the man asks then, "But who is my neighbor?" Sometimes we think we know a lot, but we don't now the basic questions. The one who is along the road of my daily journey. It might be husband, wife, neighbor, co-worker at the office. Every day God brings us someone we can help. Sometimes people think, I am so needy of the help of others that I can't help anyone. I have no means, no clothes, very little food. I cannot clothe and feed all the needy in the world. We can't do that, but the one we find on the roadside, yes. Before we look for those around the world, we should look for those around us, because love always starts at home. People say that don't have enough to help. But think of St. Veronica of the Passion. She had nothing. Just a piece of cloth. But what relief she gave to Jesus. She had the courage, the internal strength to give to Him, to dry His face. Knowledge is not enough. There is some tendency within the church to make of the whole religion just some knowledge. Knowledge is obviously important. But it has to go to the heart. There is a wisdom of the heart. And that is all about love. We have to learn about that more and more because at the end what will count - we will be judged by love. So, the first reading speaks about this... it is not far away, it is not up in the heavens, but no, it's in your mouth, it's in your heart. There, deep inside us. And the second reading also speaks about that closeness of the law of love, of God in us, when St. Paul speaks about Christ in the letter to the Colossians, this beautiful Christological Hymn: he said everything was created through Him. Everything was created for Him, in view of Him. And everything is held up into being, into existence by Him. If you would reflect a little bit and meditate a little bit about this mystery of Christ. Mystery of light and glory, everything is created through Him - the word, the mighty words of saints, everything into being. Today science, after having thought for centuries the world and all that is created existed always. And the story of creation in the Bible was a nice fairy tale. Now they admit through the theory of the Big Bang there was a "Big Bang" they call it. We know there was creation. And so, they say today everything in the end, time space and matter. All creation, the visible world is time, space and matter. And the words of the Bible say exactly that. In the beginning (time) God created the heavens (space) and the earth (matter). But that's just the visible world. And though it is huge, there are billions of galaxies, it is just way out of our understanding. And yet, the invisible world that God created is bigger and much, much greater. The visible world, the Universe, is just a little dot in the hands of God, before the invisible world, which is eternal, because it is the world of God Himself. And there we are called to live. And to just form this visible world that it may always become the Kingdom of God. Then we can collaborate. Yes, Christ brought everything into being. Creation is an ongoing process. It didn't just happen 15 Billion years ago, but it is an ongoing process. If God didn't create us now we would cease to exist. So, everything we do, we do in God. Listen to the presence of God in the depths of our hearts. That we can do His work. That we can live with His strength, with His Spirit the Commandment of Love. That Christ, the Good Samaritan...because He is the Good Samaritan -the very first Samaritan is actually the Word of God, The Sacred Scripture. And then the Word became Flesh. And so, Christ, the Good Samaritan, if you really listen to Him in the silence of our hearts, He can today again, through us, be the Good Samaritan who places people on our daily journey, and we can become collaborators of the Kingdom of God. We can become always more the Apostles of Love of our Heavenly Mother. Amen. In Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Cathy Nolan (c)Mary TV 2019

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starfolk7 · 7 years

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(I think this will take a while for you, but i got curious xd) Ornstein and Rowena

Oh my god. You’re right, this is gonna take me a while. It’s gonna be a long one. Apologies for the lack of a read more line. *cracks knuckles*

Which deadly sin are they?

After a lot of deliberation, the one that fits Ornstein the most in my mind is Pride. While he was a successful Captain of the Knights of Gwyn and thus probably highly aware of the needs of the surrounding people, he tends to think himself superior, especially when he first meets Rowena. Here is this bumbling little Undead human, dragging this sword on the ground, and she thinks she can walk into that cathedral and win against those that served their Lord under much more dire circumstances? The thought is, to him, laughable. Still, he has a fair bit to learn from her, and not about anything he expects.

Which of the seven virtues are they?

Diligence, no question about it. Does he have to be somewhere in ten minutes but with no clearly feasible way to pull it off? He’’s going to make that appointment, so help him. Did Gwynevere tell him to look after this Undead girl and make sure she lives to see the Kiln? Yes. Does he like the idea? Far from it. Will he do it anyway? As much as he likes to think he could walk away, he wouldn’t dare stray from his duty, no matter what it is. Unless something dire caused him to do so, that is.

If confronted with the need to choose: goodness or kindness? Do they believe in a distinction between the two? (Think the Witch vs the Baker from Into the Woods.)

Kindness is a way to measure the goodness of a person. There are other factors that go into this, of course, but that is a main avenue of determining the quality of someone’s character, provided the circumstances aren’t wildly out of the ordinary.

What do they have the least tolerance for?

When you’ve been a Captain for so long and you’ve probably overseen many other knights in addition, your tolerance for incompetence gets rather low. Hence why he has such a hard time not correcting Rowena on every little thing she does. However, he’s starting to figure out that she responds rather well to gentle prods in the right direction as opposed to harsher forms of criticism. At least then she doesn’t start showering him with insults and the occasional obscenity.

I also like to think that his tolerance for loneliness is actually kind of low. He probably spent so long amidst the other Knights of Gwyn, and then suddenly, that company is just gone. In addition, no one really knows how well he got along with Smough. Enough to fight off the Undead that wandered into the cathedral, yes, but beyond that? Who knows? What I’m saying is, he needs more socialization and refuses to acknowledge it. You can only spend so long lost in your thoughts before the lack of company begins to change you.

Which flaws are they aware of? Do they consciously work on them?

He’s. So. Stubborn. This is only magnified by the equally stubborn Undead he’s traveling with. He’s getting a little better about conceding to some things, but there’s still that major part of him that just sits there and says “my method is better” or something along those lines. Half of the problem is acknowledging it, though. Heaven forbid someone tries to call him out on it.

What view/belief are they most wrong about?

I think he’s got this skewed perspective of humans. It would stand to reason, since he was basically among gods and he himself was granted a special soul. In comparison, humans are just...wow, they’re annoying and in the way. How a good chunk of them have survived this long is beyond him. The Undead Curse doesn’t help things, and he’s only further baffled by Rowena’s actions. But there’s still plenty of room for him to grow. Perhaps his view of humans will change.

Their opinions on loyalty?

Loyalty is so important to Ornstein. If you’re sworn to a person or a task, you keep to them/it unless something catastrophic occurs to the bond. He has a few issues determining what exactly those catastrophic terms are, but it’s something he keeps in the back of his mind. Regardless, it’s a good chunk of why he didn’t stop Rowena from punching Patches into the ground. Sure, he stopped her from outright killing him, but Patches broke a bond of trust. Honestly, Ornstein would have been shocked if Rowena didn’t lash out.

So you know their lawful/chaotic good/evil alignment. Do you want that to be a rule they function by for the entire work, or will they be challenged enough to shift into a different square?

As it stands right now, Ornstein falls under the Lawful Good square overall, in my opinion. However, it’s entirely possible (and very probable) that he will at least fluctuate between Lawful and Neutral Good, if not shift entirely. Gotta leave room for powerful knights to grow in different ways, y’know?

Unless all of your characters have devoted a lot of time to puzzling out their philosophy, no one’s perfectly consistent. How are they hypocritical? Where do they contradict themself? Will they be challenged on it?

Ornstein has a pretty solid policy on loyalty, duty, all of that. However, he likes to make it rather apparent, at least to Rowena, that he’s not enjoying this particular duty. I’m fairly certain he aspires to show some level of compassion, as well, but it falls rather short when it comes to the Undead. There’s a particular exchange that’s pointed this out already:

“Running errands for the damned, are we?”

She shot a glare at Ornstein, who was just as still at the bonfire as when she left. “They are not damned. Not if I can help them.”

“While you actions are admittedly admirable for someone of your ineptitude,” he started, “you cannot help every being you come across. You have your own quest to embark upon.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to let others suffer along the way.”

The level of suffering that the surrounding Undead are saddled with aren’t immediately apparent to Ornstein, and because of the previous Undead that have attempted to kill him, and the bonus of Rowena, he’s not as inclined to devote his energy to caring. You could say that the time he spends with Rowena challenges this point quite a bit.

How does their personality present conflicts and challenges in their setting/story?

The fact that his goals and Rowena’s goals initially conflict presents a good amount of conflict. Neither of them want anything to do with each other, and he sees her as wildly inferior to himself. It makes working together that much harder. Their vitriol is starting to wane, but given that they’re both stubborn and have different views of the world, they’re still going to have plenty of conflict down the line. Certain circumstances will also force his hand on things that will create personal conflicts. Many, many personal conflicts. He’s going to have more issues than a tabloid stand, and he already has enough.

Alrighty, onto Rowena!

Which deadly sin are they?

Wrath. Wrath all the way. As kind and forgiving as she can be, Rowena can unleash a terrifying sort of fury. If Ornstein hadn’t stopped her, she might have flat out murdered Patches brutally. She’s sought out revenge at least one other time, not counting the times in her life before she was afflicted by the Darksign. She can be a vengeful and petty young woman when she wants to be. There’s usually some sort of reason behind it, but either the reason is childish or she takes her actions too far. It’s only gotten worse on this journey, since nearly everything and everyone is out to kill her. There’s a lot of pent up frustration that she hasn’t fully expressed, and she probably won’t admit to much more of it until later.

Which of the seven virtues are they?

Kindness. Rowena is full of compassion and empathy towards her fellow Undead, and she goes out of her way to help them, even though she has plenty on her own plate to worry about. She’ll even do small things to make others happy, like bringing them simple gifts or holding a nice conversation with them. She’s slowly learning to apply this kindness to Ornstein, but it’s a work in progress.

Side note: Kindness is apparently also considered to be one of the Knightly Virtues. Make of this what you will.

If confronted with the need to choose: goodness or kindness? Do they believe in a distinction between the two? (Think the Witch vs the Baker from Into the Woods.)

Rowena believes that people’s actions speak more for the kind of person they are than the promises they make. Someone can tell her all they like that they’re going to be a good person, but she’s more inclined to believe them if they’ve been kind to her or someone else before. Bad actions are redeemable to a point. Then again, her tolerance for said actions has gotten considerably lower since starting her adventures...

What do they have the least tolerance for?

Cruelty. She has basically zero tolerance for people that hurt others just for the fun of it or for their personal gain. She has memories of hunting others down for doing this in her time before the Undead Curse. Seems like this has carried over to her current journey.

Rowena also can’t stand to be told what to do for very long. She’s very much accustomed to figuring things out for herself, so following strict rules and facing constant scrutiny is a huge source of stress.

Which flaws are they aware of? Do they consciously work on them?

Rowena is painfully aware of the fact that she’s stubborn and loses track of her surroundings if she’s caught up in a whirlwind of emotion. But again, she’s spiteful to the nth degree, and she will build a fortress out of spite if she feels the situation calls for it. She’s slowly working her way out of that habit, though. No one’s going to succeed if she keeps it up, and Ornstein is pretty handy to have around.

What view/belief are they most wrong about?

She tends to glorify the people like herself and side-eye the beings who had all of the power. In a way, it’s reasonable, considering her position and what she’s had to deal with. However, it also clouds her judgment and hinders her progress. So, she’s kind of right, but not completely right. Her protocol needs a bit of tweaking. Not everything is quite as black or white as she likes to think it is sometimes.

Their opinions on loyalty?

Very important. It’s a subject she and Ornstein agree on. She’s been tempted to run off and ruin his duty, not to mention all of the times she’s threatened to poison him, but she doesn’t. She learns how important it is to him, so it’s one of the first signs of consideration for him when she settles into her journey with Ornstein and doesn’t run off into the void of Lordran. Besides, he’d probably find her pretty quickly. She’d get stuck in a tree or on a cliff and he would just shake his head before helping her down.

So you know their lawful/chaotic good/evil alignment. Do you want that to be a rule they function by for the entire work, or will they be challenged enough to shift into a different square?

Currently, Rowena is sitting pretty in the Chaotic Good square. Rules can and will be broken. Well, the rules that are left in this dying land, anyway. As long as it helps someone, including herself, and works towards solving the problem at hand, she’ll probably do it. However, there’s probably a few things that would occasionally dip her into the Chaotic Neutral square. For the most part, though, she’s Chaotic Good.

She preaches kindness, but has trouble going through with her own philosophy when it comes to people she’s none too keen on being around for long periods of time. Even though her anger towards Ornstein is starting to soften, she hasn’t exactly treated him well. It’s going to take a lot to rectify that attitude.

How does their personality present conflicts and challenges in their setting/story?

Her entire being creates conflict. Rowena escaped her home and wandered the world until she was snatched up and thrown in the Northern Asylum to rot for eternity. When she finally did escape, she faced a multitude of horrors. She was forced into the role of the Chosen Undead simply because no one else had really made it that far. She had nowhere else to go and not many people to trust, so she threw her faith into Frampt and rushed headlong into Anor Londo, hoping that her life would become marginally easier. Instead, she begged for Ornstein’s mercy, was saddled with said knight as a travel companion, and has to learn how to reconcile her own personality with his, lest they end up murdering each other at their earliest convenience. They’re stubborn, and she’s downright exhausted from everything she’s had to deal with, but her options are limited, and the thought of going Hollow terrifies her. She wants to end the curse, and this is the only way she knows how. It’s worth trying. Still, the thought of failure cuts at her drive. Basically, she’s a tiny bundle of fear and confusion and she’s not having a good time. Nevertheless, as frustrated and clueless as she is, she presses forward. Sitting around isn’t an option she can afford.

Welp, that’s the second Dark Souls related essay I’ve written in...three days? I don’t mind, though. It’s really fun to think about these things and write them down! Plus, I love these two a lot.

#christina's ramblings #christina's OCs #dark souls #this took a really long time to write out #but it was worth it #character analysis is my life #dauded

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