#and a lot less expectations defined by traditional romance

[alliepretends]

Since I posted one of my Dimension 20 hot takes, and didn't literally explode. I think I'll post the other one that really matters to me.

The discourse around aroace Riz is really hard for me. And I find it really hard to be empathic toward people who think about it differently than I do. And I think it's important to put that lack of empathy in context. Fandom (and by this I mean the broader fandom culture, not D20 fandom specifically) has generally been an extremely hostile space for aromantic people. Shipping is the central pillar of fandom engagement and dialogue. And a romantic lens is typically the very first lens applied to the source material when it is brought into fandom spaces. By that I don't just mean it's what people think about first, I mean analysis tends to pass first through the lens of romance, and then only things the romantic lens can't lay claim to are left for other kinds of analysis. Even for aromantic people like me, who very much enjoy romance when it exists in the realm of fiction, it's hard not to feel like there's a message in that. "Characters, and the fiction they exist in, are only valuable when seen through the lens of romance. Regardless of the genre of the source material. That's because romance is unquestionably the most important and defining feature of life. Unless it's sex." This can get pretty extreme if you become a fan of something with an especially strong central ship (like a Supernatural), where it can feel like literally all analysis of any aspect of the work has to tie back to the ship. In my experience, the sub-culture of fandom, for all its trappings of queer acceptance, is far more arophobic and aro-hostile than any other culture or sub-culture I participate in. Not because fans are actively making anti-aro posts or hate aro people, but because romance is elevated as the primary element of human experience. The only one really worth talking about and exploring. The only one worth writing fics about or dedicating massive posts to. It is worth noting that the Dimension 20 fandom (and, based on my experience, actual play in general) seems to be less romance-focused than other fandoms. There's lots of gen fic. There's lots of discussion that doesn't focus on romance. But that doesn't mean the Dimension 20 fandom somehow exists separately from overall fandom culture. The baggage of that larger culture still informs this fandom.

And that's why the way Riz gets talked about feels like such a slap in the face. He is the first example I (and I expect many others) have encountered of a heavily-coded aromantic character popular with fandom. And yet, that hasn't freed him from the fandom scramble to read him through the lens of romance. I'll admit to being a bit of an extremist on this. I know that for many aromantic people having a single qpr that fills many of the needs of romance is really an important part of their experience. Many of my aromantic/aspec friends feel this way. But I don't even like qpr Fabriz. Because even though that is an authentic and important part of aromanticism to represent. With a character like Riz, whose fears are explicitly based around the lack of access he has to coupledom, qpr Riz still feels like an attempt by romance-oriented fandom to jam the first aromantic character the sub-culture gets its hands on into something that looks enough like traditional coupledom that no one has to change their romance-oriented outlook. The myth of the OTP can live on if you just change some of the verbiage. I know there are arospec people that would also feel excluded if fandom fell in line with my perspective and kept Riz as far away as possible from anything resembling romance. I don't actually know what the right solution to these problems is. We got thrown one bone and there's a bit of a desire to fight over it (Wikipedia's list of aromantic characters has 18 characters, and while that's not all of them, it's a decent percentage). But I did want to put this out in the world. Because I feel like there's a lot of context and baggage missing from this discourse. And all I really want is to have fandom still be able to treat an aromantic character as valuable even when they can't neatly pair him off

#Riz Gukgak #Dimension 20 #negativity #discourse #i will say #the other piece of this is that while I trust Murph and Brennan have the best of intentions #I don't actually trust them to really understand how much this matters to me and many people like me #not because of anything they've done wrong #just that when you have so little representation #it's hard to trust that people who don't share your identity will do it right

[absolutebl]

10 Great Slow Burn BLs

I was asked about great chemistry, slow burn, with lots of pining and yearning, and an HEA (of course). For slow burn there will be less high heat due to the style of narrative, so I am going with actor chemistry, as well as emotional and mental resonance, not necessarily physical chemistry. (Something like Bed Friends could be argued is high heat slow burn... which would be what? A rolling boil?)

Honestly, slow burn is pretty relative, so I'm going with romance pacing puts the kiss and togetherness at the back 1/3 (if not the very last episode). Rather than at the "normal" 2/3.

1. Light On Me (Korea 2021 Viki)

Korea does an elegant pastiche of traditional live action yaoi but all filming is cleverly deployed to bolster one of the most riveting love triangles ever put on screen… and I don’t like love triangles. The high school angst is strong with this one and it's certainly slow burn and there is some EPIC yearning drawn out over a longer than usual KBL. Full review.

2. My School President (Thai 2023 YouTube)

GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues. Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORE this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? Possibly too slow burn for some, we wait many eps for that pay out, and Tin's pining is NOT quiet, but it defined dorky and earnest.

3. Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan 2022 Viki)

It's hard to call such a short show slow burn, but it is. There are many episodes spent watching Togawa just HUNGER for Nozue and try to court him by feeding. This is about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said boss with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s a stunningly filmed late-in-life coming of age/queerness story packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity, love, and loneliness… and it’s beautiful. Full review.

4. My Ride (Thai 2022 Gaga)

Thai BL grew up with this pulp (the first ever to make my end of year top 10). It’s a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine (AKA a cinnamon roll couple) plus mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. Even though we see them meet, we also see one of them fall in love, step back, and PINE for olympic gold. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede, the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. Full review.

5. Cherry Magic (Japan 2020 fan sub)

AKA 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii AKA Cheri Maho

The sweetest fluffiest magical realism BL, packaged as a pinning office romance, very low heat (practically chaste) but the cutest. It’s truly great. Don't expect kisses tho.

6. Wish You: Your Melody in My Heart (Korea 2020 Viki)

Set in the music industry featuring a talented singer and the pianist who falls in love with him (and his music), subtle and achingly adorable. High production, low heat, short run, very tame, and Korea, so all the pretty. Slow burn and lots of pining.

7. About Youth (Taiwan 2022 Gaga)

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by an almost real world authenticity and grit. Full review here.

8. The Tasty Florida (Korea 2021 Viki)

Another one where it's hard to describe as slow burn because it's so short, but there is certainly that feel and it's def got the pining. Not really a love triangle featuring the prettiest men ever to be grouped together outside of K-pop, honestly the visuals are ridiculous, there’s a story, it has to do with food, whatever, they so pretty.

9. See You After Quarantine? (Taiwan 2021 Viki)

This under appreciated gem is Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys and is just as charming and adorable yet still as quintessentially Taiwanese as one might hope. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. Slow burn because the two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry. How does Taiwan do it?

10. Restart After Come Back Home (Japan 2020 Gaga)

AKA Risutato wa tadaima no ato de

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy, grumpy/sunshine. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth the patience, low heat, low angst, and stunning. Full review here.

Others?

A Tale of a Thousand Stars

Step By Step

Our Dining Table

Where Your Eyes Linger

Choco Milk Shake

Love Class

DNA Says Love You

My Only 12%

Dear Doctor I’m Coming for Soul

2nd part of the question:

Who does it best? Shows, actors, countries?

COUNTRIES

I have said it before and I will say it again, no one does thirst like Japan. I think however, Korea is also very good at pining and yearning. So for "countries" those would be my top picks. But most BL producers have some examples, it's just that Thailand, Taiwan, and the Philippines tend to pay out the yearning more quickly (see something like 2 Moons Ambassador for an example of this kind of pacing).

Japan and Korea will make you wait for it. For Thailand you usually have to rely on the high school stuff. 21 Days Theory and Love Sick are both also slow burn.

ACTORS (characters)

I do have a post about great piners, several in fact.

(from @crowie ask)

These top 10 picks are based on my personal definition of slow burn and pining, yours may differ.

Post updated June 2023 and only contains BL that has completed its run. Not responsible for epic pining or fab slow burn BL that comes after that date.

Please feel free to comment or repost with additions! Share the love... slow though it may be.

(source)

#asked and answered #slow burn bl #slow burn romance #slow burn #recommended bl #high school bl #top bl #bl list #pining characters #korean bl #japanese bl #thai bl #taiwanese bl #Restart After Come Back Home #Risutato wa tadaima no ato de #See You After Quarantine? #The Tasty Florida #About Youth #Wish You: Your Melody in My Heart #KBL #Cherry Magic #30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii #My Ride the series #Viki #gagaoolala #Old Fashion Cupcake #My School President #GMMTV #Light On Me #30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard

[aroace-ventplace]

I don't know how to put this right. I really hate qprs, I hate how they're just pushed as "relationship for aspecs" not just in fandom but real life. I hate just the emphasis on lifelong friendships and alternative deep relationships. It drives me up a wall, this seeking out for relationships "equivelant" in depth and closeness to romantic partners without the romance or sex. Maybe this isn't me being aroace? Maybe I really am aplatonic also? But I can't stand the thought of suffering a relationship that suffocatingly close, that's how I knew I was aromantic and I feel like I'm going crazy every time I see other aros and aces lamenting and mourning never getting to have such a deep relationship. Familial relationshipd are the best, because they have a limit to their passive degredation. My cousin doesn't mind it's been 2 years since we talked she still invites me over to her house to see her and talk! Friends are already exhausting what on earth could possibly ever make someone want to deal with something even more than that! What's so appealing about it? What is it everyone even other aros see in these relationships that make them lament lacking them? I can't see anything but cons. It feels like when people get upset about a friendship ending, I'll never understand that drive. I've never felt expected to have a romance or sex life, but I've always felt expected to want an equivelant, to "not be alone" and I can't tell how much of it is subtler forms of amatonormativity and how much of it is just spectrum.... I don't even know what I'm ranting about anymore...

i definitely relate to a lot of what you’re saying. the a-spectrum is so wide that constructs that are really important to one part of the community (like qprs) can make other people (non-partnering aros like myself) feel alienated all over again. this is a bit of a messy subject to tackle, but personally, the idea of being in a qpr fills me with the same kind of revulsion i feel towards being in a more “traditional” relationship. i’m genuinely happy for the aspecs who feel comfortable in qprs—it’s just not something that’ll ever fit me, and that boundary can sometimes feel a bit isolating in general aspec spaces.

i… can’t really discuss aplatonicism/friendships without bringing up the fact that i’m autistic (as are many aspec people). to me, autism feels like being an alien that’s forced to pretend to be human. i don’t understand other people, and most of them don’t understand me, and trying to keep up with them is exhausting; it’s easier for me to just keep my distance. i do have people i consider friends, but what i define as a “friendship” looks very different from what society expects it to be. as an autistic person, most of my relationships are less… “intense,” i guess. prolonged social interaction just isn’t something i’m suited for, and that’s how my brain works, and it’s fine—just like it’s fine how i don’t experience “romance” in the societally expected way.

sorry for the rambling; if nothing else, i hope it at least helped you feel like there’s someone else out there who’s experiencing the same things as you. best of luck!!

#ask #anonymous #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #autism #<- 6-hit ‘a’ combo… nice

[soracities]

saw one of your fave movies is sense & sensibility (1995) - I love it also and would love to hear your thoughts! especially the monologue (“what do you know of my heart?!”) and whether you’ve read the book and if so what you think of it compared to the film 😊

i haven't read the book but it is, genuinely, my favourite austen film and so underrated in my view!

ngl i do love the drama that arises when there's such a collision of emotional intensity and desire in romance (or any other media, really) but i absolutely adore stories that explore the immense & often crippling conflict that exists between what you truly desire, who you are, who you think you are, and in turn what is expected of you and what you're needed to be as a result: it focuses on duty, obligation and responsibility--very, very unsexy themes and what i think we often posit as the traditional antithesis to the allure of high romance--in a way that very few stories focused on romance do; it's an attempt to understand what roles these, well, roles, play when we make them an integral part of the story and these characters' lives without automatically assigning them as the evil dragon of romance that must be slayed (im a capricorn so i think my love for this film surprises no one lol).

i love elinor so much precisely for this (and i think most of my love for this film is because of her) because she is really not what you would picture when you think of the usual romance heroine: she's not young (by the time's standards at least), she's not the freewheeling heart on the sleeve type her sister is, she is not as independent and outwardly self-willed as someone like elizabeth bennett (this is not to say i don't love these characters because i do): but she's the kind of character who is almost forgettable because she doesn't make the kind of splash we expect and therefore celebrate and admire. it's like that quote that goes something like "well-behaved women don't make history" and elinor embodies that so much to me. we don't remember these women because they're not forcing their way into the spotlight to reclaim a space or make themselves heard; they're tucked into the margins trying the best they can to survive in the only way they know how; there is no space for making waves. elinor is who her family needs her to be because there is no question of her being otherwise; to do so would cost them dearly.

i think embedded in a lot of romance is the idea of love and desire as something freeing, but how freeing is it, really, when you're not free to follow this desire to begin with? at least, not without potentially disastrous consequences? marianne is very clearly quintessential Romance here and i love that you have this ideal (taken as an Ideal, not a guarantee) grounded in a way by asking well, what does that really look like? what does that really cost you in a world that places such constricting demands on you? if marianne were wealthy, would following her heart have had a less devastating outcome? the kind of rebellion we want from someone like elinor is not always liberating: this is a romance so, yes, everything will turn out alright, but central to this story is the very real possibility that, well, what if, given these economic circumstances, it doesn't? and that's the possibility elinor is constantly navigating and making every decision by.

characters like her more often than not are designated boring or weak or unimaginative, not least because she doesn't threaten to go against societies expectations of her which seems to be the standard we have made by which female characters are judged--their outward rebellion becomes their defining character and what makes them exceptional (the #girlboss factor, if you will)--for which, yes, there is something to be said, but i do think this also leads us to focus so much on a singular (and often masculine-coded) action at the expense of actually taking the opportunity to really examine and map a character's internal landscape: of asking, well, what is actually happening behind the scenes then? and subsequently seeing the really thought-provoking terrain this can open up for us.

with characters like elinor we assume there is nothing happening behind the scenes: we think if there was, surely she would do something to prove it to us ("where is your heart?" as marianne asks her) but this does her a huge disservice in my view, because the fact is she is doing something-- she is calculating at every moment how to best keep her family afloat, financially, emotionally, right now and in the future: there is her mother who is in mourning over their father, her sister who is in mourning over willoughby, her youngest sister who now has to be brought up in drastically reduced circumstances compared to marianne and elinor's and what will her prospects be? she can't afford to let her own heartbreak slip because if she does there's no one left to keep the rest afloat: she does her duty not because she has no agency or inner life and that's what's expected of her but because it's what's needed and it is the only thing, as an unmarried, poor woman, she really has to give. and because she loves her family. but we don't see these actions or appreciate them for what they are because we accept that this is simply what women do; it's something we've come to expect and because we expect it, it's invisible and when it's invisible it's diminished or seen as inconsequential, lacking any kind of drama or real emotional depth.

i think “what do you know of my heart?!” is such a cutting outburst (and yet so short)--because it is the only time we're finally given a glimpse into how tumultuous the inner life of someone like elinor must be. and it's speaking not just of elinor to me, but so many of the characters like her (women especially) who do not--who cannot--externalise their emotions in the way romance expects them to because there is no space for those emotions in the constrictive world they find themselves in and have to survive. to me it's on par with knightley's "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more" in terms of how it subverts expectations of romance ever so slightly. i'm not someone who goes in for big gestures and certainly not for grand and dramatic speeches--love, for me, is absolutely not something you can express fully or eloquently with all the words falling right, and so i don't think there's any confession of love in a period drama (or anywhere?) i love as much as If I loved you less (anthony's in bridgerton comes close though) because it is the most honest. and i think that kind of honesty is there in sense & sensibility too (which is not to say other films are dishonest--but i think this has a realism to it that is subtle enough that it doesn't dismantle the fact of it being a romance altogether).

my favourite part about elinor's monologue is when she says "Believe me, Marianne, had I not been bound to silence I could have provided proof enough of a broken heart, even for you" which really just encapsulates everything to me--elinor is hemmed in and bound on all sides; the only way she seems able assert her presence is through being present for others because what else can she do? she tells edward he'll always have her friendship despite the pain of that conversation for them both. i think it's so emblematic of her character that after the "what do you know of my heart?!" outburst at her sister, when marianne's eyes start welling up, elinor goes to hug and comfort her. her heartbreak is given all of maybe two minutes before she returns to her usual role because she knows it will not help anyone.

like i said, i love drama in romance and epic stakes now and then but often the love stories i love the most are about whatever is happening internally and how the story explores that within the context of its particular genre. i think sense & sensibility is more understated and a bit more sombre as far as period romances go, but i love it so much for that and for how it takes almost an arch look at the fairy tale conception of romance: it may seem absurd to us as viewers that edward shouldn't marry elinor despite how much they care for each other because of a promise he made years ago to someone who, very quickly, appears to not be right for him at all. it's a love story so it's clear they are meant to be together--but central to that is that edward's loyalty and devotion to his promise, no matter what it costs him, is what makes him the perfect man, even if it's to the wrong woman: we want him to break it in order to complete the love story but in doing so he would lose the most crucial aspect of his character that makes him such a good man to begin with and elinor's double: to put his own wants first would cause hurt and pain that neither of them are, constitutionally, able to inflict or tolerate from themselves. he would no longer be edward if he did that. and elinor wouldn't be elinor if she did the same. i think it's a sign of really great storytelling that, even for a moment, we find ourselves wanting them both to break out of the obligations they're bound to to fulfill a romance that, if they acted this way, would immediately crumble in on itself and become the exact opposite of that.

also!! that scene in the drawing room with marianne, elinor, lucy and edward all in the same room for the first time with no one knowing exactly what or how much the other people know and SO MUCH needing to be said that is just thoroughly repressed while marianne hasn't a clue is THE most awkward scene i've seen in a period drama EVER and i LOVE IT lol

#also based off the film i think a lot of what i feel about elinor can apply to brandon too even though im a bit side eye at him regarding #marianne; he's not young he's not as fit as willoughby he struggles to carry marianne home but he does it #i will say this i would count on someone like brandon to do whatever needs doing you would never feel unsure w him #ask #anonymous #sense and sensibility

[cacaitos]

tbh i probably wouldn't have finished fire candy if i hadn't deduced early on the author was a woman (the plans to cover lesser known women writing typical type seinen/shonen is going. as terrible as you would expect) and in another post i did mention the mixed shoujo/seinen visuals but i guess i focused on like more flowery aesthetics bishonen and stuff. algo guess i ignored to mention that it is pretty much the statement of the author to produce series (or erotica, at any point anyway) that's appealing to both demographics, intentionally.

not that im gonna expound lots on details either though.. (it's stilla bible tho)

i ignored to mention (just forgot sorry) in the short review that in yellow hearts, SA is a verry recurrent thing/part/context of the sex scenes (that i have to define are with the erotic intent). now even then, i don't think [SA, 'age gaps', guys w freudian-esque issues, etc] in this case at least, represent a kind of deterrent for a female audience in intent (regardless of how i feel about it). first bc those are still Very Frecuent Things in erotica more clearly demographically divided aimed and written at women anyway, and second because topics aside the author, as mentioned above, uses the language and form of shoujosei to indicate in an transparent way to emphasize so.

the female characters even in the, yk, Situations... seem to preserve a preocupation with prettiness and the impression of pleasure in their designs/expressions. in net numbers, yes, they are usually/majority of the visual focus of the sexual scenes anyway since it's a seinen (audience implicit), but it's not like i can give you a definitive distinction between what about it is [meant to be in intent] the Object of interest or what has an Self-insert quality.

***the abovementioned preocupations w pretiness etc seem to very pointedly to work under the aesthetic proclivities of shoujosei. at a point it isn't so much about what men/women want but that These XYZ elements straight up don't customarily exist in shonen/seinen and those void bridged by the shoujosei proper also customary structures of the portrayal of intimacy are what evidence the interest of being of a pleasurable quality to read to a female audience, intentionally.

the paneling at points shifts completely to that of an shojosei romance's manga, the use of halftones, textures, neg and pos space, composition; of a tenderness (eh...) and an emotional interest of the parties that for as much shitty horny seinen ive read i dont find ever being as present, like at all (not that im precisely complimenting YH either...). of couse that's speaking of the ones that arent SA; theyre all pretty equally explict and intense regardless, in an customary-shoujosei unlikely fashion, though.

in the men's department.. well, on pretty literal terms the story is about idk yakuza gang conflict or smth, there will be rock bands and whores in between that i guess. from the very beginning there will be a balance to mantain between the main male characters being a more traditional dark but youthful type of masculinity for an seinen story while also obviously being yk. bishonen (most of the main ones at least). pretty easy to discern intent with those elements i think. it also extends to the sex scenes: vaguely speaking the author has a leniency to make them more, expressive? sentitive? something like that; make them have slightly/noticeably more presence in frames, that makes the thing a speck less onesided (well, it's less frequent the older/less bishie/more traditionally masculine the character is, not that that's surprising).

lastly.. hmm.. despite the author being kind of apparently of a bl writer on the side (tho YH is completely straight), male homoeroticism is mostly kept on the side (one char mentions it) or it's expressed thru more conventional male-on-male bloodlust and violence, though limited to the individual than in pro of indicating any particular relationship between the parts. however, i think that keeping the motions of homoerotic violence w no textual outlet for it makes some of the male characters' sexuality interesting so far it's just as confused as the mixed language of shoujosei and seinen of above.

for one, it makes violence, for the seinen audience, sexual but in a slightly more unusual and/or uncomfortable way, for the genre at least. both because of a female audience in mind and how [the male characters] can serve to them in a shoujo fashion but also taking into acc BL fashions, ends up making them as much of the

#txt #*** i mean saying the flowers and the fashion and the bishies and whatnot are GirlThings is a bit stereotyped but eh. theres a lot of #things that are more vague and if i try to describe i will be here all day so lets leave it at It's Vibes and if you get it you get it so o

[how-to-do-it-better]

Reasons Men Are Choosing To Stay Single

 The dating world’s been flipping on its head.

With input by Blonde&Balanced and Dinsmore. Listen to the Podcast at How To sex.

Clearly, western culture has started failing to secure our survival. We saw it in western Europe, late in the last century. Plus, totalitarian Asian governments dictated it. We quit having enough babies to replace ourselves. We quit teaching our younger generations that a big part of existence is, creating more existence.

We delegated out so much of parenthood, that we quit associating with our roles in life.

Then we quit finding our identity in marriage. That ancient blending of the two halves of humanity. Boys increasingly started pleasuring other boys, and girls started preferring a romp with another girl.

Hell, with internet porn and sex toys, even gay relationships started taking the hit.

People are increasingly alone, and getting lonely. But for many of our fellow humans, that’s more acceptable than all the potential disasters of trying to find a soulmate and life partner.

Here’s a report by Blonde&Balanced, about

 28 of the possible reasons that men, in particular; are choosing to stay single.

 The dating world’s been flipping on its head, with more men choosing to hit pause on the whole dating game. It’s not just a single problem causing this shift, but a variety of new challenges prompting guys to retreat. 

Let’s delve into 28 reasons highlighting why some men are opting out of dating.

1: High Cost of Love.

The bill for playing the dating game can make some guys hit the brakes, especially when it’s on them to foot the bill for everything from fancy dinners to fun dates, all while balancing their budget.

2: Clash with Modern Women.

A rift between modern independence and traditional dating expectations has led to a disconnect, with men feeling sidelined by women’s dual demands for autonomy and special treatment.

 3: Situationships.

This modern take on non-committal relationships allows for emotional and physical connection without the need to label or define the bond, making it a popular choice for many.

4: The Lost "Getting to Know You" Phase.

Ian Breslow, a 28-year-old high school teacher who lives in Astoria, shared his own personal experience that underscores a shift from casual dating to immediate, intense relationship probing, making casual encounters and light-hearted dating seem a thing of the past. 

5: Impact of Pandemic.

Andrew Bruno’s account highlights how the pandemic has altered social behaviors, making in-person interactions less frequent and more guarded. 

6: Goals over Dates.

Many men are putting love on the back burner to chase their career or academic dreams, driven by a mix of personal ambition, societal pressure, or the quest for financial security before settling down.

7: Past Pain.

Some guys are keeping their hearts off the market thanks to rough rides in past relationships, from betrayals to breakups, leaving them wary of round two.

8: High Expectations.

Feeling overwhelmed by the mountain of expectations in the dating world, some men think it’s just too much—whether it’s pressure from society, a string of bad dates, or those fairy-tale romances in movies.

9: Fear of Exploitation.

Past experiences of feeling used, whether for money, handyman services, or emotional support, have some men wary of dating again, fearing another round of exploitation.

10: The Age Gap.

For some, dating seems to cater exclusively to the young, leaving older individuals feeling out of place and questioning the worth of seeking love later in life.

11: Digital Dating.

The digital dating scene, with its endless swiping and focus on fleeting connections, has some dudes questioning if it’s all just a bit too shallow and overwhelming to bother with.

12: New Rules.

As the ground shifts beneath the traditional gender roles, a lot of men find themselves lost in the new norms of dating and relationships, unsure of their role.

13: Happy with Being Single.

With over half of single Americans content in their solo journey, the drive to seek out a partner is notably low, reflecting a broader acceptance of living life unattached.

14: Busy Life.

The modern dating marathon, with its initial virtual connections leading to real-life meetups, challenges even the best time managers, turning love-seeking into a logistical puzzle.

15: Low Sexual Desire.

Men experiencing a dip in sexual desire might find the dating scene less appealing, choosing instead to invest in friendships or other non-romantic relationships.

16: Emotional Barriers.

Struggling to forge deep emotional connections can act as a significant roadblock in the dating world, whether it’s a challenge with new partners or a deeper issue of emotional availability.

17: Fear of Rejection.

The potential for social rejection, with its emotional toll similar to physical pain, can lead men to steer clear of the dating scene to avoid the discomfort of being turned down.

18: Fear of Commitment.

For some, the idea of locking down with one person brings more panic than peace, driven by fears of lost freedom, past pains, or the weight of relationship responsibilities.

19: Mental Health Issues.

The stigma and challenges surrounding mental health can add layers of fear about judgment or rejection, making the dating scene appear unwelcoming for those struggling.

20: Dating Ambiguity.

The question of whether one is truly in a relationship, casually dating, or simply involved in a fling often goes unanswered, reflecting the widespread uncertainty in contemporary romance.

21: Single is More Acceptable.

Society has shifted from a focus on traditional milestones like marriage and parenthood to celebrating individual choice, making the single lifestyle more prevalent and accepted.

22: Self-Doubts.

Men battling low self-esteem may see the dating field as a minefield of potential rejections and embarrassments, choosing isolation over the risk of not being good enough.

23: Social Anxiety.

Social anxiety casts a long shadow over the dating experiences of many men, with the dread of judgment or rejection making even basic interactions seem daunting.

24: Questioning Love.

Men battling low self-esteem may see the dating field as a minefield of potential rejections and embarrassments, choosing isolation over the risk of not measuring up.

25: Too Lazy to Date.

It appears the bar has dropped, and men are finding shortcuts in the dating scene. The classic moves – shaving, dressing up, and traditional gestures like buying chocolates or flowers – seem too demanding for many today.

26: Pressure for Serious Commitment.

The societal push towards finding a serious relationship and the perceived loss of prime dating years during the pandemic have left some feeling caught between the desire for casual dating and the pressure to settle down. This conflict can lead to frustration and a sense of missing out on both fronts.

27: Expectation Gap.

Ronald Levant, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron, suggest that women’s dating motivations might be evolving, with an increasing focus on finding long-term partners, especially as the biological clock becomes a consideration. This shift can create a mismatch in expectations between men and women, particularly affecting men who prefer casual relationships.

28: Communication Gap.

For some men, the daunting task of articulating feelings or navigating conversations can turn dating into a high-stress ordeal. This struggle often stems from societal norms that stifle male emotional openness, personal insecurities, or simply not having enough practice.

  In a Perfect World, Marriage Might Work

The ramblings of a perpetually horny aging male.

By Dinsmore

At the end of the day, no matter how many baubles and flowers he gives you, no matter how much he tells you he loves your mother, no matter how many times he cooks you dinner or does the laundry, no matter how often he treats you to a romantic evening and no matter how many times he tells you that you are his 'best friend'; it's all bullshit. If he wanted a best friend; it'd be a guy.

He wants to get laid; that's all he ever has wanted, and ever will want. It's been that way for thousands of years. Stop reading women's magazines and just accept it. He just wants to fuck you.

One would also expect that the more experienced male; the one with more experience, sexually; would be less inclined to ejaculate prematurely, more adept at making the experience pleasurable for the female; thus getting invited back. Other females observing the coupling; or getting the details from tribal gossip; would be more interested in the particularly 'talented' male.

Sociologists and psychologists have really clouded the water in the last one hundred years, looking for all sorts of hidden meaning in an effort to make things more 'human' and thus more complicated than they need to be. Their efforts have completely confused both sexes and sadly, resulted in an increase in homosexual activity among females and males whose view and understanding of human sexuality is inadequate; or at best, distorted. In essence it is those humans that have essentially 'dropped out of the game.'

I'm not saying that those factors are the sole cause of increased homosexuality but certainly they have had an impact. The whole feminist revolution hasn't helped normal male-female interaction; at least sexual interaction. Certainly some homosexuals of both sexes find themselves unable to compete, i.e., weaker males who are not found attractive by the opposite sex and unattractive females who find it almost impossible to find a suitable male to mate with.

Again, one has to assume that in the 'good old days' of an ancient, primitive culture, weaker males simply did not survive the hardships. Unattractive females without the support of a strong hunter/gatherer, left on their own to fend, simply perished. While it may sound cruel, we have to accept the fact that the mating of the strongest and most attractive of the species is what ensured its very survival.

So, in a perfect world.

One thing that screws up the perfect world; is clothing mandates.

We men can't go around with our dicks hanging out for female inspection; well, except on the beach. Clothing makes it impossible for the female to demonstrate her readiness to conceive. Stupid women's magazines with inane articles about 'how to show him you are interested' don't help matters. Still, female fashion of the day is certainly intended to accent; 'display'; the female posterior. It's latent and subconscious. It's like saying, 'I know you can't actually see my labia; but trust me, it's there, it's engorged and my vulva is open and ready for your cock.'

Think back to the number of times a woman becomes interested in a man and finds every excuse to 'show her ass' so to speak. Again; forget the tits. In the good old days they were seldom covered and there was little male fascination with them. Baby formula hadn't been invented. Young women frequently turn their backs on a dance partner; if they have decided that the male in question is prime mating material.

I can remember one time going to pick up my kids after my divorce; my exwife climbed the stairs back to her new apartment, just as I settled behind the wheel, swaying her posterior provocatively as she ascended. I wasn't sure if she was having second doubts about the divorce; or simply trying to be cruel, saying: 'see what you're missing.'

The first time I met my second wife; keep in mind, we've now been married for over twenty years; she unconsciously presented. We had talked on the phone a number of times but never actually met. We still laugh about the fact that she decided to bend over to retrieve a file from a lower file drawer just as I entered her office. She was wearing these hounds-tooth pants. She still has an amazing ass; and the bending over stretched the fabric alluringly over her butt. I distinctly remember my dick twitching; and deciding that I was going to nail that hot little babe.

A number of years ago a buddy and I were flying military aircraft across the country and ended up staying in a west Texas city for a few days awaiting repairs on our aircraft. We rented a car and drove around, finding an all-nude diner. Out of curiosity we went in. To our surprise the girls were almost universally young and attractive. While there were certainly food sanitation issues, it was a very interesting experience. As our young waitress bent over the counter to give the kitchen our order, my buddy and I were spell bound as she thrust her pert young cheeks back and her sweet little cunt was in full view.

"That's what I'm talking about!" he said with a leer. "In a perfect world, when a guy sees a sweet young thing bent over like that, he'd just go over and mount her; there'd be a law requiring him to do so." I've had more than one erotic dream about such a world.

Sadly, the closest I ever came to it was

 Thailand many years ago.

Three of us had ferried some aircraft over from Vietnam and were staying over waiting on the aircraft we were going to fly back. Thanks to maintenance delays and a monsoon, we got stuck in Thailand's major city for a couple of days. We ended up procuring some female companionship; the sex business in those days was legal, regulated and 'clean' over there. It was also absurdly inexpensive. Our driver and guide procured four quite attractive young women for us. We had rented a suite for something less than ten dollars a night in a four star hotel. The girls were sweet and friendly and spoke reasonable broken English. They figured out what we had in mind and were all naked within minutes of closing the business side of the deal.

So, within a few minutes, I'm looking around and the debauchery is in full swing. One little hottie is riding one of my buddies on the floor, two others are double teaming another guy and eying me wondering when I'm going to jump in and the fourth one is on her knees sucking off my other buddy. Her ass is up in the air and her cheeks are spread. Her little hairless pussy is glistening. Her ass is moving in slow circles. My cock is bone hard. I walk over to them; my friend getting his knob polished wordlessly indicates that he doesn't care. She looks back at my hard cock and nods. I'm balls deep in that tight little Asian cunt in a flash.

She's cute enough that I don't need to close my eyes and picture some girl from back home. She's either into it, or a damned fine little actress; she's making all the appropriate noises. This isn't about love or marriage, it's just about fucking; servicing the alpha males. The alphas expect you to display and present; there aren't going to be any cocktails or long walks on the beach.

Sweet thing, you're just going to get cock; and lots of it. We were in our early twenties, perpetually horny and deprived, after too many months in a war zone. We ordered room service and fucked those sweet little Asian whores constantly for twenty-four hours and not once did we hear, 'not tonight, I have a headache.'

I was not trying to impress this girl; I'll never see her again, and if I suck in the fucking department she'll neither care nor let on. No dinner, no five dates with increasing activity and no long kissing sessions or sweet nothings in her ear. This is just primal shit. Mount the bitch and fuck her. It's all about me getting off and enjoying myself. No guilt, no touchy-feely bullshit. It's fucking prehistoric. She's receptive, I'm hard; she exists for one reason in the world; to make me feel good by getting me off.

I almost ended up going to Thailand for a full tour; unfortunately I ended up back in Vietnam for a second tour; but I did get back to Thailand a few times, if only for an overnight. Lots of guys actually stationed there had multiple, full time, live in babes who, in addition to cooking and cleaning for them, fucked them on demand any time of the day or night. I'm not sure any marriage could have survived a tour of duty in Thailand.

What Would I Do?

I often wonder what I would do, if something happened to my wife? I love her to death and she really is my closest friend. We do everything together. She travels; by air; too damned much. If something happened to her, I'm just not sure I'd have the patience to 'jump back in the game' and find another wife. I doubt that I could find one as perfect as my bride of the last twenty-some years. We're terribly set in our ways.

A foreign mail order bride might be an answer. I'm financially secure; I could certainly afford it. Then again, there are so many horror stories about mail order brides and then of course there is a certain stigma in this society; for both participants. Ultimately she would end up becoming westernized and completely fucked up and I'd probably have to replace her just about the time I had her trained to my liking. Mexico is becoming crime ridden and politically unstable. Asian mail order brides have their own issues and end up being corrupted by our society.

I haven't been to Thailand in decades but I suppose it would be worth a look although I've heard things have changed for the worse. I'd miss my friends and my kids; I'd miss the good old U S of A. Still the idea of posting on eHarmony and then sorting my way through a series of plastically rearranged gold diggers makes me nauseous.

Why does it have to be so damn complicated? I don't need a maid, I’m an excellent cook, and don't need taking care of. I'm not cruel or abusive and don't drink to excess, or do drugs. I can offer an above average quality of life; but! If, God forbid, something should happen to my wife; I'm positive I don't want another one!

I'm not excited about getting into the modern dating scene, and everything it involves. I'm just looking for a decent, regular and reasonably attractive piece of ass, preferably first thing in the morning, and again before nodding off; with an occasional blowjob at lunch.

You don't have to like my friends, and I don't even have to meet yours. Now sure, there's always the chance that we might actually develop a genuine affection, find out that we really enjoy each other's company outside of sex; and then, who knows? Marriage wouldn't be out of the question, I suppose. But don't be surprised at the prenuptial agreement.

Still, I was thinking; you'd keep your own house; and job. Dinner out, or a movie on occasion; why not. At the end of the day, all of that would be just window dressing. At my core I'm just prehistoric. I want a reasonably attractive female in close proximity; who will present her luscious rump at regular intervals and not give me a ration of shit when I pull down her drawers and/or flip up her skirt and drill her cunt with a stiff dick. I know, I know, you'd like to cum too; no problem. I'm not that prehistoric.

By Dinsmore for Literotica

[gingerlanier]

Book Review: The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black 

Genre (or “category” from the requirements list):

            This book is from the 7-12th grade LGBTQ+ category. 

Target Age Group:

Grades 9 and up (LVCCLD library catalog). 

Summary:

            Rebellious mortal Jude was stolen away along with her two sisters to live in the court of Fairie. Growing up amongst the Fae, she must prove herself and use her skills and cunning to gain a place in court and survive. 

Justification:

            I am a fan of anything with the Fae in it, and I like Holly Black’s work. I attempted to read the book but didn’t succeed. I decided to give the audiobook a try.       

Evaluation: 

For this review, I will be evaluating characters, setting, and genre. 

Holly Black does a wonderful job of giving each character a distinct personality and desires that drive them to get what they need. Jude remembers her parents being murdered at the hand of Madoc, who has now become her “father” in the land of Fairie. Her relationship with him is complex and dysfunctional, as she simultaneously hates him for what he did, but has grown to have a twisted sort of affection for him. Many of her driving needs and actions are the result of this complicated relationship. She is trained in combat and strategy and wants to be a knight in the court. This story line is enjoyable as it’s a departure from what we expect from a female character. Her twin sister Taryn is slightly less developed than Jude, possibly because the story is told from Jude’s point of view. Taryn is more passive than Jude, which makes her less interesting to read. Vivi is mysterious as the twin’s older sister who we discover is the child of Madoc and the girls’ mother, which makes her part Fae. This revelation shapes the relationship of the sisters, and Madoc’s relationship with Vivi. Vivi has always been “different” and finds solace in a relationship with Heather, a mortal who she deeply cares for. 

The setting of the mortal world juxtaposed with the world of Fairie is superbly written, and the setting is easy jump into. Black wonderfully describes Fairie through the character’s actions so you don’t even know it’s happening but you get immersed quickly. Even with its dysfunctions and murderous intrigues I wanted to live in Fairie when I was reading the story.   

The genre of fairie fantasy is followed to some extent. Black writes a genre that still adheres to a lot of the traditions of a faerie world but gives us some surprises, like Jude becoming a knight and spy. Even though her love/hate relationship with Cardan ends up with some romance, it doesn’t feel cliché. Holly Black is great at following the conventions readers want and expect with the genre but always makes it her own. 

Some may disagree or chafe at the idea of including this in an LGBTQ+ category since the queer relationship (between Vivi and Heather) isn’t a main part of the story and doesn’t involve a main character. However, I think this is an example of where we should go in the future- stories that involve queer characters and successful healthy queer relationships but don’t put that as the only focus. These characters should have motivations and interests that are informed by their queerness but are not defined by it. No character should be a monolith, or mere symbol of a movement. They should be fully realized and move beyond the simplicity of being the “gay” character. One can also make the argument that the world of the fae that Black has created is an example of a type of gender fluid utopia where anyone can love or have relations with anyone else (all consensual and legal, of course) without even so much as an eyelash flutter in their direction. It’s a non-issue in Faerie, as it should be in the mortal real world. indeed, all fairies might be pansexual, or some form of queer expression. Mortals should strive to be more like faeries, at least in that aspect. 

Format: 

I chose to read this book through an audiobook format. The narrator Caitlyn Kelly breathed life into the characters while successfully navigating through male and female characters, and mortals and faeries. It never sounded forced or contrived and didn’t detract from the story. She also helped clarify the plot, as there are a few twists and turns and many characters. By giving each one their own energy and rhythm she helped me keep everyone separate and allowed me to follow the plot. Being an actor, I am admittedly picky about audiobooks and narrators and have been known to stop an audiobook two minutes into the story if I feel like the narration is getting in the way. Kelly not only succeeded in not detracting from the story, but she added something that wasn’t there when I tried to read the print version. Now when I think back on the characters, I hear them in the voice she created for them. That is the ultimate accomplishment for a narrator! 

References:

Black, H. (2018). The cruel prince. Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. 

Black, H. (2018). The cruel prince. (C. Kelly, Narr.) [Audiobook]. Hachette Audio. 

[onewomancitadel]

which genre do you like more? mystery or adventure?

Hi anon, thanks for your ask. (:

Honest answer is probably neither, mostly because I'm sort of against defining my interests through genre unless the genre conventions are really defined and concrete, both in structure and potentially even themes - in this case structure probably matters to me more than content. (Cyberpunk is a good example of this, and tragedy, and to some degree romance). Kind of indiscriminate adventure/mystery/whathaveyou is not interesting.

On the other hand though it's easy to get me interested in things if they're very out there or it explores themes that personally resonate with me.

Also, partly my issue with genre fiction of sci-fi/fantasy is that genre fiction is usually said with some degree of derision by some other literary types I have encountered. I can't untangle that issue myself, but I do think there's a certain point at which genre convention can be stifling. I think this is why you get genre fiction types who reject literary prose styles and preach the value of windowpane prose.

That being said it depends what context you mean because I nominally enjoy murder mysteries, specifically of the British variety, and more specifically of the Midsommer Murders variety which I have mentioned before on here. I also really like The Method recentlyish, which is part detective series part Gothic romance, which you can also find my having posted about it here.

On a more positive note about genre, I think the relationship between reader/viewer and author represented through genre is really interesting. It does transcend the genre fiction issue and established tradition is very cool, so it's for that reason less defined genres are less interesting to me. Lol

Like if someone described something as a mystery or adventure story, I wouldn't really care. There's got to be another hook. If someone said tragedy or cyberpunk or romance, I have much more defined expectations. That can either be good or bad to different people of course. But at a certain point all works transcend their genre lol.

The other day I was discussing The Expanse with Best Mate and complaining about the trope of ancient civilisation's lost magnificent tech being discovered and influencing the far-flung human future and she was like, 'You're going to have a lot of trouble with that in sci-fi considering it's a staple of the genre'. I am unfortunately very well aware of this. It no less annoys me. It's so lazy and stupid and boring and rarely done in an actually interesting way, and I don't even want it done in a subverted way, I just never want to read about it EVER. AGAIN. EVER. There are so many more interesting things that could be done but it's Just So because that's how sci-fi does it, not because it's an actual integral part of a story structure (e.g. the purpose of catharsis in tragedy) or what makes sci-fi sci-fi, it's just the way it is. hgidrgjrdiogjdigjdrigjidgjodi

I'm sorry I answer asks this way, this is just what you get with me. Hope you have a nice day. (:

#seraphina's asks #user: anonymouse #stirring the pot #pretty much

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Not me thinking about how much healthier all straight/romantic relationships would be if all alloramantic people approached it with a non-amatonormative mindset

#aromantic #i think it would definitely bring a level of authenticity to relationships #and a lot less expectations defined by traditional romance #all relationships have different needs and this would allow people to explore that more in romantic relationships #amatonormativity #lgbt #lgbt pride

[sugarless5]

The War of Two Queens by Jennifer L. Armentrout My rating: 5 of 5 stars I adored this book. I forced myself to slow down reading it because I didn’t want it to be over. I thought the middle two books, while enjoyable, were a bit shaky because the pacing wasn’t great but I enjoyed the world and the characters so I was looking forward to this book. But I did not expect to adore this book as much as I did. The pacing was good (though there is still the JLA trademark of a slow middle and a thousand massive things happening at the very end - but the slow middle really developed characters in a way I enjoyed so I didn’t mind it). Of course it helps that my favorite character was the one that got the most development. However I knew some folks would be mad, so I created a whole ass goodreads account for this book because I wanted to put in my two cents. This book is great. It developed the characters in a way that felt natural and interesting. If you’re mostly reading for Cas, this will probably not be your favorite - he’s imprisoned for a lot of it. But there is one thing that, if it is not your cup of tea, you just won’t like it and maybe you should move along If you don’t like throuples - or (because the nature of the relationship is still a little up in the air) if a dynamic where a third is integrally part of the couple, not just a close friend, really bothers you - you will not like this book. Maybe just move on from the series, rather than screaming about it, making it harder for those of us who really liked how this was explored to enjoy. Poppy and Cas have the same relationship they’ve always had. Cas and Kieran have a very similar relationship to what they’d had before. Kieran and Poppy’s relationship is explored a lot more here - which I think would have been necessary no matter what direction she took it because in the third book we saw a bond develop but not get explored. Ultimately, Kieran is added to the dynamic in a more concrete way, but in a way that feels like a continuation and extension to the relationship they had before. It felt natural, meaningful, and in keeping with the dynamics they’ve been exploring and developing for the last couple of books. I’m not necessarily drawn to books that have poly elements in relationships, because they’re not always done in a way I find engaging, so part of why I’m gushing about this so much is that I think it was done in a way that sits so comfortably with the characters we’ve been growing to know and love through the series, while still being a new exploration into different kinds of love. I adored how Cas and Poppy continued to be Cas and Poppy. I adored how Kieran and Poppy grew closer and started to develop into a meaningful relationship of their own. And most of all, I loved how Kieran never let us (or Poppy) forget that Cas was a priority for him as well - and that Cas made it clear just how much he needs Kieran. I’m a little frustrated with the responses I’ve seen because I have yet to see people giving it a low review that isn’t just about hating the addition of Kieran - that goes even the ones that suggest they’d be fine with it if done differently. So many are acting as though Poppy and Kieran were cavorting behind Cas’s back while he was imprisoned rather than what actually happened, which was them working together to get Cas back, growing closer just as they have been through books 2 and 3, and prioritizing Cas as they also have been doing in those books. Cas gets it. Some readers seem not to. I’ve even seen people claiming this development was hypersexualizing or fetishizing the characters - a particularly bizarre claim not least of all because this is by far the least sexual book in the series - and I may even be including the first when I say that. If the joining bothers you, or if the thought of Kieran being part of their relationship as more than just close friend and advisor bothers you, you’ll probably have a hard time with this book. And that’s fine. Maybe count the first 3 books as good times you’ve had and move on from the series. But I think it’s really exciting to see love explored in the way JLA seems to be doing it in this series. So if you’re open to the idea and have grown to love Kieran over these last few books like I have, I’d urge you to read it. I adored this. ​ View all my reviews

#Fbaa spoilers #twotq spoilers #the war of two queens spoilers #the war of two queens #the joining #pro-joining #in fairness Kieran is my favorite character #I'm not poly but I've never been able to pin down my relationship to sex and romance and to see different bonds get elevated #and to see different kinds of love explored #and to watch something grow without expectation #nd to actually let the narrative give it the space to blossom into something still undefined but no less important? #it's just really cool to see #and exciting #and I love how it's reciprocal for all three #I'm a longstanding romance reader - it's not ilke I've ever minded seeing a lot of more traditional relationships #but I dig this a lot #it's love - a little differently defined but still very much there #and maybe sex will become a more regular part of it #and maybe it'll go in a more queerplatinic direction but either way it's love #I hope she doesn't backpedal from the backlash #though I think JLA is a great writer I think she needs a better editor - particularly for pacing and convoluted infodumping #at the end #but that's been a problem through all four books #I don't mind - I dog the characters enough that pacing rarely bothers me but it's tough to rec it to friends with those issues in mind #q #I'm really rambling y'all - I'm throwing this in my queue but it's 3 am and I have to teach tomorrow

[quirklessidiot]

🡦  minazuki mini series (COMPLETED) 🡦  F!reader x gojo satoru

genre. mild angst, action, psychological/thriller, mystery, romance, mature themes, enemies-to-lovers, very slow burn, arranged-marriage au (tokyo metropolitan arc to shibuya arc; canon compliant-ish). description. In which Y/N L/N is placed under a union she has no choice but to partake for the sake of her survival.

series warnings.  dark themes, very heavy manga spoilers, paranoia, future sexual themes/smut, violence, blood, heavy objectification of women,  mentions of rape, harassment, heavy themes on misogyny, child abuse, mentions of child destruction, heavy degradation, bride-market, breeding talks, compliance to abuse/harrasement/patriarchal system, false constructs on virginity, murder/man slaughter, blood, anti-hero!Y/N, mentions of suicide, self-harm, not beta-read. MINORS DNI (this story has a lot of questionable stuff)

Playlist + taglist is closed + main jjk masterlist + minazuki extras/omakes + Ao3 version

TABLE OF CONTENTS  00. the twelve key moments  ||  the twelve key defining moments on why you and Gojo Satoru were anything but a match made in heaven      better yet, why you and Gojo Satoru will never work out and get along despite the union between you two (16.3K words)

1 .the new years ||  A banquet is held in honor of a long standing new years tradition for bountiful blessings and a beautiful new year meanwhile Gojo Satoru is still mourning and frankly, quite erratic especially when he stays around you for too long. (6.3k words) 2 . zen’in  ||   Maki Zen’in comes into the picture, a brief reminder of you’re supposed to be life, Satoru ends up having to cut the meeting short along with an interesting wager to benefit you both. (6k words) 3. An agreement between two devils  ||  It’s a charade of trust and a dance between two devils, just where was this going to lead? (6.7k words) 4. Sendai ||  A trip to a city that was once promised to you along with danger lurking behind the scenes. (7.5K words) 5. stray cat ||  A tidal shift, one that’ll affect you. Meanwhile, you and Satoru are meeting a bit too frequently that he can’t seem to turn away as much as before. (6.8k words) 6. Itadori Yuuji ||  The guilt continues to clamor you up, choking you and as you try to pacify it, you end up doing things you don’t expect. (9.9K words) 7. the devil in disguise ||  Unanswered questions and lingering touches, boiling down to a high point where you can’t even figure out your emotions anymore.(7.8K words) 8. ichor || Nightly companies and silent apologies are always in order but things are never always on the right path, at least, for you that is. (7.6K words) 9. tanabata ||  Certain things such as happiness are never permanent, well, until Satoru tries to do otherwise. (7K words) 10. hidden inventory ||  Although the memories haunted you, you’re more or less grateful that you see a familiar face again amidst the turmoil. Meanwhile, Satoru comes to a painful conclusion regarding what his place is in your life. (10.4K words) 11. insecurities  || The distance seems so far apart and although you should be happy, you feel conflicted for feelings are anything but clean. (7.3K words) 12. gardenias || Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (8.7K words) 13. inamorata || may it be under the golden rays of the sun or the soft trickles of the moonlight, Gojo Satoru finds himself enamored by you in all way — always. (11.7K words) 14. the party || There are certain things in life that you find adorable; one of them being your husband and his flustered expression that’s for your eyes only. (13.7K words) 15. nirvana || it’s been rough with continuous terrors along with the new load of information but your husband is there to prove that he’s more than willing to be a good distraction. (11K words) 16. sweet things || breakfast for two and a marriage proposal for one. (8K words) 17. Gojo Satoru  🎶. all i want by kodaline || (9.5K words)  17.5 Gojo Y/N 🎶.you should see me in a crown by billie eilish || (6.5K words)  love. such a small word for such a big feeling. 18.FINALE  🎶. champagne problems by taylor swift & one last time by ariana grande || (7K words)  

END     

#gojou satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo x y/n #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #masterlist #📝📝.minazuki mini series #another long overdue one #very very heavy manga spoilers from ch 0 to well recent one ish #again #hostclub.adulting

[centrally-unplanned]

Evaporative Cooling and the DDLC Plus Media Mix

The original Doki Doki Literature club is a visual novel with a clear two-pronged appeal, but those prongs are not equal. It is primarily a game-meta horror story, the tale of (spoilers ahoy) a panicked, self-aware dating sim character trying to hack together a way to ‘win’ the player’s affections in a game built not to permit it. The glitch-horror elements and plot twists that result from that premise are the fundamental selling point of the game, and it is how it was marketed - as you may recall the 4,041,255 Twitch stream reaction videos to especially Sayori’s suicide that cascaded onto the ‘net in the fall of 2017. However, to make those plot twists work you need a set up to twist, and thus the second appeal of the game is in fact the more standard visual novel elements it is ostensibly subverting - a bunch of cute girls writing (honestly quite good) poetry, making friends, and having drama & romance. 

These elements in fact sit in tension with each other at times, even as the latter sets the stage for the former. For a horror story the average player spends likely over 50% of the run time of the game playing a standard dating sim, writing poetry for girls and winning their hearts, while just waiting for the horror shoe to drop - presumably onto someone’s neck while wielding a knife. It was a phase of the game that undoubtedly would have lost more players than it did if it weren't for the strong marketing that told everyone “hold on, something is coming”.

DDLC Plus was just released this week, almost 4 years after the original. As an expansion it radically flips that appeal binary - the content of the expansion is almost entirely character-on-character friendship & drama interactions in an alternate utopian timeline, going hard into that second appeal strategy with almost no meta-awareness present. For me, while each of these individual stories work well, some extremely well (I liked the traditional aspects of the original game quite a lot, after all), the whole is a good deal less than the sum of its parts as that previously mentioned tension explodes into contradiction when the full picture is considered. This collapse is most apparent with Monika, who in DDLC Plus is a earnest-but-overbearing perfectionist trying to balance helping her friends with her tendency to meddle. In the main game, to recall, she is self-aware code trapped in a lifeless dating sim box, views her “friends” as non-sentient scraps of dialogue trees, and script-kiddie’s her way into inducing their suicides and burning down the entire world in the process just to float in glitch-space monopolizing the romantic attention of the actual player, the only ‘real’ human accessible from her virtual prison. These...are not the same character at all! Monika is completely changed by and defined by that meta-revelation, and all of her actions reflect that - the DDLC Plus tales really don’t offer much insight into her character once that revelation is scrapped. 

For the rest it's less true but still fundamentally present - they lived in an empty cookie-cutter world, their personalities vulnerable to amateur meddling, and were defined by that; something DDLC Plus ignores. Presented as one complete game, as DDLC Plus does (you play the original to unlock the expansion stories chapter-by-chapter) the contradictions are vibrantly apparent, and undermine the product. And to nip the objection in the bud, the fact that approximately 1% of the bonus content is essentially meta-appeal easter eggs doesn’t do much to offset this.

But before you think this is a roast essay, expecting anything different would have been foolish - this is the product the market was more-or-less demanding. Fandoms for games go through life cycles, and different segments have different lifespans. The shock-jockey twitch streamer segment has an incredibly short one - they play it, love it, then move on to the next big thing. Same with the average “subversive free game” player those twitch streamers induced to play it, or the fan artists feeding off that mass appeal energy - these fans have evaporated as the “hot new thing” status cooled away. What is left is a core fandom - and while that core does have a kernel of meta-horror types, and even a few games-about-poetry types, they will always be outgunned by the Waifu brigade/character devotees. Plot twists come and go, but character dynamics and identification are a ship that keeps on sailing, and that appeal drives a player base least likely to jump overboard. Which is why back when the first game came out, the average fan-art looked like this:

While when I check the top results of the subreddit for this essay, the first fan-art now looks like this:

Of course you can find both kinds of art at both time periods, but I think that kind of trend is pretty clear. And nowhere is it more clear than in the marketing of DDLC Plus, in case you think the designers are unaware of this. DDLC Plus has a bonus premium edition, and look at all the goodies you get:

Sticker sheets! Chibi Cutouts! Literature Club Membership Card! None of this would appeal to the Sayori Suicide Shock Scare player - smart, since they don’t exist much anymore. But it's a very strong shift from the previous marketing, where the cuteness was all flagged openly as set-up to a punchline coming around the corner. Stickers on the other hand don’t have plot twists. Of course other player types exist - the included poem is decently dark in tone, speaking to the literature & horror fans in one. Yet the overall appeal of the series is fundamentally shifted in presentation.

My partner went to a DDLC fan panel at a con about two years back. She is a big meta/horror fan and a poetry writer, so her love for DDLC is pretty undying. Pretty soon into the panel someone asked the audience who they thought “Best Girl” was, which my partner laughed at - to her the game is a deliberate middle finger to that concept, so she assumed it was a joke. Of course no one else laughed; this was the kind of topic they were there for, they went all in on it, as my partner realized that she was not going to be making any friends at this particular meetup. Despite the tone I am not judging at all here, enjoy media however you want, no way is better or worse, and I totally waifu/ship things too. I just needed to realize that the canon product would never laugh along with my partner against the crowd.

#DDLC #DDLC Plus #ddlc spoilers #essay

[doubleca5t]

i know you’re not a fan of the citrus anime, but is the manga any good?

short answer: no

long answer:

if you spend any amount of time in the yuri fandom, you will eventually have to contend with Citrus. It’s one of the most popular manga in the genre, so it’s kind of unavoidable. And whenever Citrus comes up, you’ll usually hear from a lot of people telling you not to read it because the core premise of Citrus is two girls, Mei and Yuzu, falling in love shortly after becoming STEP-SISTERS, and the first few chapters involve Mei repeatedly sexually assaulting Yuzu (this actually goes the other way around at one point as well, though that doesn’t exactly make things any better). I am here to tell you that those people are wrong.

Let me explain.

Citrus is an infuriating 10 volume cocktease of a manga. What I mean by this is that reading Citrus, it gives you the impression that it could get really good like any chapter now, and then it just never does. The art is good, the main character, Yuzu, is super compelling and entertaining (and imo I think she’s the reason this manga has such a massive fanbase because she can be a Mood And A Half sometimes), it’s got some pretty strong emotional moments and a lot of good comedy here and there. But this is a situation where the whole is very much less than the sum of its parts. This manga has a lot of elements that are individually satisfying, but they don’t come together into a compelling narrative. I think there are two big overarching reasons why.

1) Citrus does not create and resolve conflicts in a satisfying way

A romance manga like Citrus is very much about the journey, not the destination. You know Mei and Yuzu are going to get together, it’s just a matter of how they get together and what sort of obstacles keep that from happening until the very end. This is why so many romance manga rely on tsundere/enemies-to-lovers scenarios. The harder it is for the characters to admit their true feelings for each other, the more you can stretch out the narrative and the more chapters of manga you can get out of it. A good example of this in the yuri world is Bloom into You, where the main characters have done so many mental gymnastics to convince themselves they either can’t love or can’t be loved that as the audience you’re like “shit, I know these two are gonna get together eventually but how the fuck are they gonna get out from this nonsense?”

Citrus has no goddamn idea how to do this.

A huge chunk of the first four volumes is spent introducing side characters who appear to be potential romantic rivals for either Mei or Yuzu. These characters  can be pretty entertaining in their own right, but all the dramatic tension around them falls consistently flat. The solution to every problem presented by these rivals is just talking to whichever girl they were interested in, because said girl (either Mei or Yuzu) was never interested in the rival to begin with. These arcs feel unsatisfying because the way the problem is resolved would suggest, on some level, that these were never problems in the first place. All of this could have been avoided if the characters had just talked to each other.

And this same problem rears its head near the end of the series as well, the worst example being the ending. Mei separates from Yuzu suddenly and in dramatic fashion because her grandfather is forcing her into what is essentially an arranged marriage. The chapter where we learn about this is legitimately emotionally affecting, with the slow build-up to Yuzu learning that Mei never wants to see her again. It gets you in a way that nothing else in this series really does. But then the solution to all of this is just Yuzu proposing to Mei? And the whole family just goes along with this?? Despite them being step sisters???? Like you’d think the problem here is that Mei’s grandfather is very traditional and conservative. Like he doesn’t just want her to get married before she took over the academy, he wants her to marry a specific person from a rich family that he chose. But no, apparently the step sister marriage is a-ok! which means the only real problem here is that Mei didn’t tell Yuzu about any of this shit until it was already in motion, which brings us to the second core issue:

2) Mei does not change or improve

Mei causes a huge percentage of the conflict in this series. And not only does she cause it, she causes it in exactly the same way over and over again. Mei’s big, defining character flaw is that she’s emotionally distant and bad at communicating. Because of this, Mei repeatedly conceals information from Yuzu for, at least as far as the audience can tell, no discernible reason, creating conflict that never needed to be there. This takes the form of the previously mentioned final chapters, the first volume or so where Mei forces herself onto Yuzu rather than just telling her how she feels, that whole nonsense with Sara, and so, so much more. Citrus runs on the logic of a corny 90s sitcom. Every problem is based on a misunderstanding or a miscommunication, so everything can be resolved if the characters just fucking talked to each other. This sort of storytelling can work if you’re writing a farce (like every other Shakespeare comedy was based on a case of mistaken identity) but in a drama it’s fucking infuriating.

It would be one thing if there was an arc where the core problem was that Mei doesn’t know how to communicate, and at the end of that arc, she realizes what the problem is and spends the rest of the series actively trying to improve. That would be fine. But instead, no matter how many times Mei is shown that failing to talk to her step-sister/gf causes nothing but trouble, she just... keeps doing it, either because Saburouta thinks that’s such an important element of her character that it’s not possible to change it, or because it’s a cheap and easy way to add conflict to a relationship where none would exist otherwise.

I think the final straw for me was when I tried reading Citrus+, which takes place after Yuzu’s proposal in the final chapter of Citrus. Within the first volume, Mei goes right back to her old tricks of being moody and evasive and leaving Yuzu to guess at what might be wrong. THESE TWO ARE FUCKING ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED, BUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN STUCK IN THE SAME PLACE SINCE VOLUME 5 BECAUSE MEI CAN’T IMPROVE! At some point, it starts to feel like that line about the definition of insanity from Far Cry 3. You’re just doing the same shit over and over again expecting different results.

So to put it bluntly, it would be inaccurate to say that you shouldn’t read Citrus because it’s about a pair of step-sisters taking turns sexually assaulting each other.

You shouldn’t read Citrus because it sucks.

[rabbitindisguise]

I keep seeing posts talking about art and people seem to have a very limited understanding of why they hate art . . . which is making art really confusing to talk about on Tumblr. So I made a post to show the most common things people hate in modern art, and their similarities and differences to other artistic concepts people also commonly hate.

So, here's basic modern art 101 they might never cover in highschool

I often see people say modern art is the problem. Modern art includes impressionism, post-impressionism, expressionism, Art Nouveau, cubism, pop art, performance art, photorealism, neo-expressionism, conceptualism, hard edge painting, op art, minimal art, fauvism, photography, etc etc etc

Most people don't typically have a problem with photorealism (self explanatory), op art (art that is an optical illusion), impressionism and post impressionism (think Van Gogh starry night)- even art nouveau (1920s fancy swirly art). I especially rarely see a genuine problem with photography from non-artists, which is classified as a modern art. It's all the other stuff that don't look enough like other things they like that bother people. These things are still modern art though, so if you like them, there's something more specific you're thinking about when you think "I hate modern art."

Something that you might be more familiar with, to ground these concepts better is movies. There are romcoms, documentaries, family movies, etc. We call those genres. Each subset of modern art is basically all genres of the same general concept, which is summed up by Wikipedia as throwing traditions aside for experimentation. By throwing traditions aside, modern artists are seeing what can still be art without using fundamental concepts, so modern art as a whole is challenging by betraying "the old masters" (Romans), not by conformity as people often suggest. You might say to that "then why do they all look the same?"

A couple reasons:

A cubist painting will look like another cubist painting because they are being dismissive of the same traditions and employing the same basic rules and you don't know enough about cubism to play spot the difference in a small art gallery (totally reasonable!). They asked the question "what's art?" and said "shapes obviously." (Now you might disagree and think it looks like aesthetic garbage. Still, it can be helpful to understand they're using form to convey image because that lets you know that form is not enough for you. Color, composition, proportion, etc might all be more important or equally important to form.)

Some movements inspired one another, much like romance and romantic comedies are heavily intertwined. Impressionism and post impressionism are closer, cubism and impressionism are less similar. They're all modern art.

Three things to understand before getting into modern art more specifically. There's a couple of ways to generally define art that might impact taste more than other aspects of art. These things are the amount of abstraction vs representation, conceptualism vs formalism, and art vs anti-art. The last is taste vs skill.

Art vs anti-art

There's a group of art movements called anti-art. Dada is one example of anti-art movements, and it is also modern art. Anti-art movements do not just question traditions, like modern art, but question art itself by refusing to engage in expected ways with art. (People who reject anti-art due to it being now accepted as art and see it as too conventional are called anti-anti-art.) There's a misconception that all anti-art IS art, was always supposed to be art, or always gets the artist lots of money. Some anti-art follows form of other art movements but is evidently not art, to mock other artists- many started out this way and are now called art against the artist's wishes. Confusingly, there's also anti art that is art, like monochrome paintings, or silence as music, that brands itself as art but is made to ask what the limits of art is (sometimes with the focus on "what is high art?" to specifically criticize the corruption in the art world). What makes up the bulk of anti-art is how they reject art itself in the things they're making (regardless of if it's considered art or not). Some areas of dispute include rejecting ideas of taste, not signing their name, avoiding showing it publicly, and destroying their own art. If you don't like anti-art, this is not the same as not liking modern art, since modern art has many movements that aren't anti-art (i.e. impressionism). You might also like some anti art, and hate others, since the qualities in anti art can be a spectrum.

Abstract vs figurative

Another important thing to understand is not liking abstraction is not the same as not liking modern art, or subsets (movements) within modern art.

This is an early abstract piece that people who don't like some modern art might still appreciate:

The title is "the falling rocket." It was created by James McNeill Whistler.

If this doesn't look dumb to you, the use of color, more than form, might be valuable to your taste in art. Other abstract art may still be unappealing, from the lack of representational qualities in geometric paintings, to the the lack of stable perspective in Picasso's paintings. However you can appreciate the use of abstract qualities in representational art to convey emotion or other qualities.

If this looks dumb to you, Ruskin (art critic) accused Whistler (artist) of "ask[ing] two hundred guineas for throwing a pot of paint in the public's face." So you're in good company. You probably don't like any abstract art. If you would like to see modern art you DO like, "representational modern art" or "figurative modern art" is a good place to start.

Conceptualism vs representationalism

Representationalism

Conceptualism

There's a common disagreement with art museums often mentioned on Tumblr that art should be contained in the frame or explained thoroughly. This is actually a dispute within art, as representationalism is much more closely on the side of "everything in the frame, no exceptions" while conceptualism is about art that focuses on the importance of ideas in art rather than representation. This necessarily entails lack of a priority on making it legible to the viewer in conceptualism, but is not necessarily always a part of conceptualism. If you dislike art that isn't immediately obvious by looking at it, then it's not modern art that's the problem, it's the level of formalism that's acceptable for your taste.

Taste vs skill

I keep saying "taste" because liking it doesn't mean it's good (like cheesy comfort movies), and not liking it doesn't mean it's bad (some people don't like Romeo and Juliet because it's a tragedy). Artistic skill is about doing the thing they set out to do rather than being pleasing because you can be pleasing and make bad art still. When people say "it doesn't have to look good to be good art" it's a reflection that blood and guts don't necessarily look nice but people still appreciate realistic blood and guts in horror movies. Everything in art has a time and place- and on top of that, your preferences might mean you never watch horror movies at all, and never learn to appreciate realistic blood and guts! This post is trying to help you figure out for yourself what is a criticism of skill, vs a criticism of taste, since many artists view criticism of taste as essentially your approval. (Remember anti-art? If you say "no this isn't art!" you are answering a question of taste, rather than skill, which would be "This doesn't effectively challenge the status quo." If you're reading this post you probably don't even know what the status quo is so just changing how you say it isn't going to convince them it's not a matter of taste either.)

Unskilled art is generally disliked regardless of what skills being tested and across art. It's just that you might also dislike something that's skilled because it doesn't fulfill the requirements for you to see it as something beautiful (taste).

Okay, now to the specifics.

[This is in chronological order.]

Romanticism focuses on emotions, individualism, suspicion of science and industrialization, idealization of nature, and glorification of the (medieval) past. It was heavily influenced by the political landscape of the time. It is very representational, with lots of people lying around dramatically or holding flags and stuff. The huge oil paintings of George Washington are romanticism, like Washington crossing the Delaware.

Realism is art that focuses on everyday people doing regular things. You might have seen a parody of the guy with a pitchfork and his wife, called American Gothic. The original work is an example of realism.

Impressionism is painting with a focus on light and color. That's why lots of impressionism was painted outside. The theory was that we don't see objects but rather the light reflected off of them, so that's how people should paint as well.. Many expressionist focus on portable mediums so it may not even be paint. Post Impressionism includes more abstraction, like geometric shapes, with the same theories of color and light. Van Gogh's starry night is the most iconic example.

Pointillism is more or less a focus on impressionist theory using dots of color.

Divisionism is focused on color theory. It used the theories of impressionism and added to them further with new scientific discoveries on how the human eye process color.

Symbolism has a focus on representing absolute truths through symbolism. The art movement primarily objects to realism and naturalism. One thing said about it is that the art is meant to "depict not the thing but the effect it produces." The art tends to be representational of something, yet metaphorical for the concept it's trying to express. Example:

Art Nouveau is art with a focus on organic forms and asymmetry. It includes inspiration from the arts and crafts movement and was primarily in response to industrialization. Most known examples are actually architecture, because much of it was designed to uplift residents.

Abstract art is art independent of reference. This reflected changes in science and philosophy and politics. This encompasses cubism, expressionism, and surrealism. At this point, the groundwork for these things starts to get put down.

Fauvism prioritizes painterly qualities and strong color. This is also inspired by impressionism.

Expressionism is art made with subjectivity in mind. Think of it as the visual art equivalent of stream of consciousness writing. This is done by focusing on what someone sees (filtered through their experience and emotions) rather than what really is. This is art made without considering photorealistic form and trying to convey what we really, truly see especially in the hopes of conveying strong emotions. It's stylized to emphasize reality. An iconic example is the scream.

Cubism, at its core, basically is made with shapes in mind. Cubists think that .all natural forms can be conveyed with the basic forms (cube, cone, cylinder). This means that perspective and color are not used as a method of representation in cubist art. An iconic example is the girl with the mandolin.

Futurism is art made with a focus on modernity. Originality, science, and individualism we're all heavy focuses.

Photorealism and photography focus on accuracy.

[break for WWII]

Dadaism is probably familiar but basically they reject logic, reason, and aestheticism, and instead favor nonsense and irrationality. It was mainly a reaction to the war.

Surrealism is responsible for "this is not a pipe." It was influenced by the dada movement. This art is focused on what is real as well as using dreams to combine with reality to make a "super reality." (Says Wikipedia anyways.) Basically trying it make the illogical logical.

Figurative art is representational and depicts things as they are but in a more idealized form. They can be landscapes, people, still life's, etc. It has influences from Greek sculpture which mixes the memorizable shapes of Egyptian art with the natural form to depict a natural form in its idealized geometric shape.

Conceptualism is art made with the focus not on medium but with ideas. It argues that all art is fundamentally ideas, regardless of medium, and the ideas take precedence over their portrayal. Many conceptual artists create art by leaving a set of instructions to be followed. An example would be the pile of candy (Untitled, portrait of Ross).

Geometric abstraction uses 2D shapes. It basically says you can make art just out of some squares and lines and triangles, and often has the inclusion of color and juxtaposition.

Hard edge painting focuses on abrupt color changes between (usually) flat colors. It's related to geometric art.

Op art is art with a focus on optical illusion.

Pop art is using common every day items as the subject of fine art. This includes ads, comic book panels, and soup cans.

[End]

The important takeaway I think is that there's a lot of modern art that is praised unknowingly as Old Stuff that actually is recently created, while the other things that don't valorize the past like with romanticism are dismissed because they don't readily look like anything. I think regardless of your tastes and preferences in art, it might be worth asking yourself: is art something that has to look like anything to be pretty?

Which is to say, you have more tools to participate in conversations about art in depth now. There's no right answer, politically/ethically/morally. Hope this helps you more easily find the art you like and avoid the art you don't ^^

#personal #art #elitism #education #gatekeeping #fwiw I'm heavily a realism kind of person

[akaashisupremacy]

How to Find Love

Summary: Iwaizumi is on a quest to find love with an old friend. What can he do to get there?

Iwaizumi x fem!reader/Oc || Read it on A03

Genre : romance, friends to lovers

Hajime Iwaizumi ran into the cafe, eyes wide and panicky. “I’m already twenty minutes late for the date.”

As he composed himself before he entered the place, he took a deep breath. He was determined to enjoy this date because it might be their last. Hiromi had never taken lateness kindly.

“Gomen, the meeting ran longer than expected,“ he said, nodding his head into a bow, too embarrassed to meet her eyes, “I’m so sorry.”

She looked up from her books with a weary smile. Beside her was a pile of four or five books, some of which were beginning to yellow, meticulously tabbed with colorful post-its.

“You still made it,” she said, closing her book “I usually walk out if my date was a full hour late.”

It was a Thursday. She had an afternoon at the library while he had an early off (if it wasn’t for his work meeting). Neither of them worked traditional 9 to5 jobs. He began to wonder if seeing each other would be easier if they did. Iwa was leaving on a Friday for Osaka for the rest of the weekend. He was a physical trainer for a professional volleyball team, which meant that he travelled with them during their season.

They called for a menu and began to order what would be their dinner.

“How’s work?” he asked, surveying her through the menu.

“It’s a lot of reading,” she gestured towards her stack of books, “But we’re at the beginning of a new research-heavy campaign so it’s normal. How about you?"

“Mmm…it’s still the start of the season so most of the team is quite healthy. Some of them are a little excited so we’re just trying to reign them in to keep them from straining themselves.” he said, thumbing through the pages.

He had settled for a hamburg curry rice while she had gone for a bowl of tuna pasta. She looked distracted.

“What’s up?” he asked, leaning into the table now that the niceties were done with.

“I like my job. I like my team. But why do I feel like I’m just grinding day in and day out." she sighed, resting her chin on her books, “There’s got to be more in adult life than this."

“You’ve got to find the reason out on your own because your employer won’t do it for you. Not that I’m qualified to give advice or anything.” he said, looking up from his drink.

“I know,” she murmured, her head rested between her folded arms “It’s just so difficult to find the energy for it sometimes.”

Iwaizumi nodded. He knew what she meant. No one job could fulfill all his desires for accomplishment. He liked his job, but it wasn’t a perfect job. He wished that he didn’t need to spend so many weekends away from home.

Man, this date was sobering.

“You sound burnt out. Maybe take it slower at work?” he quirked his head to match the angle of hers.

“What is it that you want to do that you’re not doing for work?” he asked. Despite less than a year in the workforce, she already looked so glum.

She pulled herself up and swept her books aside, “I don’t know to be honest. Within the next two years, I just want to be published in other big publications. It doesn’t have to be necessarily on food, more like the stuff I write for fun. The stuff I’m willing to freelance while I have a day job, y’know?”

“Like what?”

Their order had arrived. She stabbed her fork into her pasta and gently twirled it around.

“The New York Times has a column called Modern Love where you write a long essay about some type of love. It doesn’t have to be romantic. It can be platonic, familial, or even failed love as long as it is set in modern day. I’ve been meaning to write about my failed relationships.” she said thoughtfully.

Iwa choked on his first spoonful.

“Well, if this doesn’t work out, I can at least write about it. Get three hundred dollars and buy you dinner to thank you for the experience.” she laughed drily.

“Are you always this pessimistic on your first dates?” he coughed, taking a sip of water “Either ways, I’m glad to be of help.”

She perked up a bit and grinned. Her whole face lit up when she smiled. A wave of warmth washed over him.

“Send me a copy when you get published.” he added, “I want to see what you write about me.”

“I’m definitely going to writet that you were late on the first date.” she said without skipping a beat. She was grateful that they had chosen this cafe. There were not too many people even if it was dinner time, yet the ambient noise that filled the air kept their pauses from being too silent.

Iwa stopped eating and squinted his eyes at her, “You are not gonna let me live this down, huh?" She winked at him with a glint in her eye. He smiled in response.

He couldn’t care less about what the New York Times was but she was evidently fascinated by it. He wasn’t going to own up to uncultured swine he was on a first date. He had already been late.

“Anyways tell me more about this Modern Love.” he settled back into his dinner.

She pulled out her phone and began typing, “The Modern Love column came out with questions to help get to know someone. This could be a fun date activity.”

“Sure, you want to give it a go?”

She shoved the phone in his face and scrolled through the questions. “There are three sets of questions. Each set more intimate than the last. You can choose from the first set.”

Iwa lightly held the phone, his fingertips grazing the back of her hand. He chose the first question that caught his eye.

“Number 4. What would constitute a ‘perfect’ day for you?” he read out loud. Hiromi took her phone back and read the question to herself.

“What’s your answer?” she asked.

“I just got back, I hadn’t figured out what a perfect day would be like here.” he shrugged sincerely.

She snorted loudly, “What a cop out answer!”

Iwa looked up and thought for a bit, “A day spent walking around in the city…maybe a day that starts with a morning jog and a hot unrushed breakfast after. Catching up with friends sounds good too.”

Hiromi nodded. She was fully absorbed as he talked. It was like she was going through the scenes of his day in his mind as he described them.

“What about you?” he asked, snapping out of her out of her reverie.

“A day at the market,” she said quietly. ”Any market day is a good day really.”

“To be honest, it doesn’t depend on the activities so much at times. The people you’re with is definitely important. A day at the market can still be terrible with the wrong company.” she added.

“I wasn’t subpar last weekend, was I?” he asked.

“No...you weren’t.” she replied a little more shyly than usual.

They moved onto the next question.

“What roles do love and affection play in your life?” she read out loud, “Doesn’t have to be romantic again.”

Iwaizumi inhaled sharply. That was such a loaded question.

“If you’ll use this for an article and it gets published, you better buy me dinner someplace nice.” he tutted.

“Then make this one good.” she smirked.

Iwaizumi stopped eating for a few minutes to think through the question. Before he answered, he closed his eyes and breathed out slowly.

“It defined my entire career in volleyball. My best friend and I watched a game and we kind of chose to go into the same school team after that because we were both so obsessed with the sport. Our connection was almost telepathic. We barely used signals when it was just the two of us. We basically ran off instinct.” said he softly, his eyes reminiscing a different time.

“Although we went our separate ways after high school, I spent so much time in volleyball that it defined a huge part of who I was too. I mean, if I didn’t play volleyball, I would probably be in another sport, but I’d still think I’d be different, y’know?”

You could tell he was avoiding the word “love.” Iwa was not one to be vulnerable.

“In college when I was in my first serious relationship, it was the type of love that gave me confidence and assurance. But I guess it wasn’t enough…for me to say it deeply impacted my later choices on career and other decisions, unlike volleyball.”

“I can’t help but feel that any defining…relationship I have romantically will be weighed against with my time with volleyball…my first real love…" he tried to laugh it off, but you felt the weight off his words, “And I’ve been lucky enough to have enough love in my life that I don’t need to constantly be in a relationship to feel complete.”

A moment of silence fell in between the two.

“That’s a lot to heap on a relationship.” she whispered in contemplation.

Iwa awkwardly scrambled for damage control, “…no pressure.” was all he managed to say.

“So why try to date? When it’s so tough to find someone who can match up with volleyball?” she asked.

“Companionship?” he shrugged, “It’s still nice to date around.”

“And you’re…nice. I’ve been wanting to date you since we were in college. I’ve liked you for a long time…” his entire face flushed pink.

Her eyes fluttered wide open. Since college? Is he serious?

“Our friends were right,” she said in a hush, “You did have a thing for me. I thought they were just teasing us.”

“You had a boyfriend back then and when you broke up with him, I was seeing someone else.” he exhaled, looking her earnestly in the eye, “Wasn’t it obvious to you?”

Iwaizumi couldn’t tell if Hiromi just didn’t want to speak or was too busy contemplating. She was too stunned to speak.

“It felt like fate seeing you on the plane.”

A million things were going through her mind, she slowly opened her mouth, “Now that we’ve been on two half dates, what’s it like? Is this what you’d thought it would be?”

“College is very different from now, but the short answer is yes.” he nodded, rolling his shoulders back. “Everything just clicks. I’m so comfortable with you. It’s so easy for us to talk. I like you just as much as I did in college…I just really like you. Time hasn’t changed that at all.”

Hiromi looked overwhelmed. She was unable to look him in the eye. She was barely getting to know him romantically and he had long been decided about his feelings for her.

“Do you wanna ask if they sell alcohol here? You look like you need a drink.” he joked. Hiromi didn’t look like she heard him.

"This is so intense for a first date.” she shook her head in what seemed like regret.

“We can stop,” he gently interjected, “We can talk about something else.”

She finally looked up to him and whispered, “Hajime, you’ve just dumped a lot of pressure on me.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to do that,” he smiled apologetically, “Anyways, I’m aware that we’re both at different…stages of attraction. Besides, I think this would be way more awkward if we both were pining.”

“Wouldn’t that be sweeter?” she asked.

“Way too sappy for me.” he waved with his hand. Hiromi let out a small chuckle. Iwa secretly sighed in relief.

——————————————————————————— After dinner, they headed to the arcade to blow off some steam. Iwaizumi offered to carry some of her books to which he somewhat regretted. Her books were like rocks. How the hell was she lugging them on her own in the city?

“I could carry them on my own if it’s too heavy.” she offered.

Iwaizumi looked at her incredulously. She was at least half a foot shorter and much smaller in build. His biceps weren’t going to buck in front of her.

They wandered around the arcade for a bit, unsure what to do first. Iwa silently prayed they didn’t have to do any dancing. Just when they were about to decide on the claw machine, Hiromi pointed towards a small karaoke booth at the corner of her eye.

“Let’s go in there.” she tugged at his jacket.

Iwaizumi flipped through the songs. None of them seemed to be in Japanese. All of them were in English.

“Did you pick up a default english karaoke song?” she asked, browsing through the catalogue. The room was clearly designed for kids. It was so small their knees touched and Iwa could barely sit up without hitting his head on the ceiling.

“Nah,” he shook his head, “I don’t really sing…in English. Any suggestions?”

Hiromi typed in the number of a song.

“I’m about to introduce you to your first usable English karaoke song.” she grinned at him mischievously. Iwa looked at her suspiciously.

The opening notes started to play—some acoustic guitar and a trumpet. The song sounded…Mexican? For the longest time there were no lyrics on the screen. Hiromi swayed to beat as her eyes were glued to the screen. When the song finally began to hit what sounded like the chorus, the music paused for a second.

“TEQUILA!” she yelled into the mic.

Iwaizumi was so startled he jumped up and hit his head on the ceiling. Hiromi was giggling uncontrollably.

“That’s it?!” he exclaimed.

“Yeah,” she laughed, pressing the mic towards him, “You try on the next chorus.”

When the trumpets began playing, Iwa readied himself. The song hits its familiar pause soon enough and he pulls the mic closer to his lips.

“Tequila?” he said tentatively.

“With more conviction, Hajime!” she urged, taking back the mic. On the third chorus, she moved closer to him so they could share the mic.

The music hits its third pause, they looked at each other and yelled, “TEQUILA!”

They both grinned and laughed, almost as if the act of singing about alcohol was like a drink in itself. He could feel her shins pressed against him as she continued to sway for the music. A glint in her eye flickered as she nudged him to dance along with her.

Iwaizumi wasn’t going to refuse. Especially not on their first date. He swayed what he could on the tiny box while the song lasted.

————————————————————————— At the end of the night, they both sat in the train waiting to get off on their respective stops. The carriage shuttled back and forth, pushing and pulling their bodies back and forth into each other.

“Hajime,” she tapped him on his shoulder, “We didn’t finish the last set. Let’s do a quick one before I get off.”

He nodded, “Pick one we can answer with just one word.”

Hiromi swiftly browsed the list, before looking up.

“Finish the sentence, ‘Right now, we are both feeling…’"

Their faces were both so close they could feel the heat of each other’s breath. The back of their hands were touching, but neither dared to reach out or pull away.

“Hopeful.” whispered Hiromi, an evident earnestness in her voice. She was fighting off her shyness just long enough to look him in the eye when she talked.

Iwa smiled, “Smitten.”

Before she could react, the train jolted as it shuffled towards her station.The train stopped at Hiromi’s station and she got up from her seat, taking the books from Iwa’s arms.

He followed her to the exit and watched her as she got off. She gave a small wave from the platform while she watched the doors closed.

Iwa was tempted to press his hands onto the window, unwilling to end their time for the evening. His last sight of her was her smile when the train plunged itself into the night.

“Did he start out his day at the market with a morning jog?” she asked herself, watching the train swiftly pull away.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath. The night had gone differently from how he thought the date would proceed. For one thing, he didn’t expect to confess so early into the relationship.

He took his phone and curiously googled the questions she mentioned.

It turns out the title of the New York Times article was not “Questions to Get to Know Your Date” as Hiromi had led him to believe. Instead, it was titled, “Thirty Six Questions That Lead to Love”.

“Huh,” he said to himself. He shut off the screen to his phone.

36 was too much. In his opinion 3 was enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------

This is part 3 of a series on Iwa living in Tokyo after he moves back from California. Comment or message to be added to the taglist. 

Also, I’ve been feeling quite down lately, so say some nice things if you feel like it in the comments 😬✌️

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4

Series taglist: @itstheee-ha-chan

#iwazumi fluff #iwaizumi imagine #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi hajime 27 athletic trainer #iwaizumi hajime #hajime iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x you #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x oc #seijoh x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #hq fanfic #hq x oc #haikyuu x oc #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi series #hq fluff #hq imagines #hq scenarios

[my2phetaliaheadcanons]

Could you make hcs of 2p Germany and 2p Russia trying to get along and let her know their true feelings to a female country they are destined to marry by an agreement between their countries? She is friendly and outgoing, plus she is very understanding. At first there were no loving feelings, but they appeared after they got to know each other better.

Thanks!

I hope you don’t mind but I have it set up as an engagement.

2p Russia – If this man was forced into an engagement there would definitely be some coldness. Not really direct toward the bride to be, but rather directed toward both governments. Especially the bosses. Over time this will change with the bride. She will be one of the few people to experience his warmth, but y’all’s bosses will still be left in the cold.

Russia would do his best to get along with you. At first it means giving you space and ensuring that your needs are meet. He is your husband to be, and that means it is his job to make sure you are at least kept healthy and not left wanting for things. So, that includes full cabinets and small unpersonal gifts. Things like random jewelry or some basic level Valentine’s type chocolate. It doesn’t feel like much of an effort because it is all very superficial, but it is Viktor’s way of saying “I accept you as my wife.”

Since the lovely lady is understanding, Viktor is going to be quicker in stepping into a true husband role. Their bonding will start with dates that occur after each meeting both attends, and have required attendance. Eventually, I expect the wife to take the first step in asking about doing something extra together. This will set off a chain of dates that will occur much more often. If the bride is a close country, then she can expect to have a date once a week, further countries may get a date once a month to once every three months.

Other things to consider that once Viktor is caught up in the winds of romance, he will start to discuss big picture stuff. That means wedding plans, the family dynamic, mixing of traditions and so on. Gifts will start to become more personalized, and even more heartfelt. Though romance is sometimes a difficult thing for Viktor, he will reach out to his sisters for advice and find ways to best cherish her.

Her friendliness and outgoing nature at times will clash with Viktor’s more quiet personality at times. Though, her ability to understand will help smooth out those moments and create an atmosphere for a happy marriage. This atmosphere will help solidify his feelings of love for her.

Eventually despite already being declared engaged, he will propose to you. He wants this time to be special for both parties and he feels that an official engagement will create that.

2p Germany – He is gonna be shocked. He is a player and now he is being chained down. There are going to be fights between him and his boss. They will just be screaming matches, because it is his boss and getting grounded is not worth it. Lutz will also not take it seriously at first. He will openly flirt with other women while his bride to be sits nearby. Even if he finds her drop dead gorgeous and flirted hardcore with her when they first meet.

Overtime and with the forced dates, it will start to settle in his mind that is legitimate. When that happens, the two will have at least reached the friend zone of their relationship. Being understanding helps a bit, but it doesn’t completely kill off Lutz guilt. He will apologize and do his best to make up for his attitude. Mostly by giving you prime German beers, if you drink, and specially made meals. Things like smoked meats and sweets will be the ones most often given to you.

With Lutz, you can expect him to be the one that encourages the chain of bonding. During the beginning Lutz will still unconsciously flirt with other women, but he will try to catch himself. He feels some guilt, but as his feelings become love it becomes a heavy guilt. Eventually he stops flirting with other women all together. Things like kisses, hand holding, and funny pick-up lines are the bride’s to own.

Her outgoing nature helps a lot during this time as well. It takes a lot of the pressure Lutz feels off of him. It means that he can ask questions and not only get answers but will get questions in return. Lutz will personally take the steps to make sure that you both are doing things you love on these dates.

Similar to Viktor, he will DTR (Define the Relationship). That means take the time to figure out her feelings, while assessing his own. Talking about how they want the home to be run, times when they would spend with each other’s family, and so on and so forth.

Once Lutz is confident in your feelings and his own, he will throw a big party. It is all in honor of the future you will have together. Though being a lazy man, it is mostly just streamers and his closest friends and family that are at the party. He may even talk you into getting married earlier than your bosses wanted. He wants to do that Vegas style, much less work.

#2p russia #2p germany #2p hetalia #2p headcanons