#and a lot of them are heavily into my interpretations of characters so yea

[stvrlight-nyx]

My interpretation of Murder Drones episode 7(a lot about N and Uzi) EPISODE 7 SPOILERS‼️‼️

N is the most caring drone ever, he cares so much about V (friendship) that first thing he can think about is trying to move the rocks to get back to her. After all the shit she put him through, he still thinks of her as one of his closest friends besides his old crush on her. HES JUST SUCH AN ANGEL OMG.

N’s direct-ness towards Tessa is very interesting, because you can see his character wants to really help “Tessa” (who we now know was never actually Tessa), but obviously cares and loves Uzi a lot whether that be platonic or romantic. He clearly emphasises his point by putting a full stop at the end, making it clear to Tessa that he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to Uzi. Taking it back to my point about N having to choose between Tessa and his family from back in Manor House, or Uzi this “little bot” that in my opinion he’s poured his heart out to (coming from a Nuzi shipper and no it’s not pro ship). Well we now know that after the whole absolute solver using Cyn as a host and Tessa as a skin suit that he is 100% on Uzi’s side.

YOU ARE TELLING ME THIS MAN DIDN’T KNOW IF HE WAS GONNA LIVE OR NOT AND THE FIRST PERSON HE CALLED OUT TO WAS UZI LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Anyway yea so uh, you can see here that N’s first thought and in past episodes too, his first thought is Uzi. Clearly showing he cares for her and loves her a lot. Usually you brain or in their case their programming should probably make you think about yourself but, he often thinks about Uzi first and then himself like N just confess istg.

I don’t really wanna go through it now maybe in another post but it has to be here so…

J oh deary me J. J is the kinda of character who clearly has always been jealous of N, and how fond Tessa was of him compared to her. Obviously, because you can clearly even as the audience see that Tessa doesn’t really care too much about J, she clearly has to receive the approval from someone else. And that’s where the company comes in, in my opinion I think the company is just feeding her ego so she begins to do more for them. The company had control over V and N previously but because of their exploration and independence they now know the truth but, because of J’s hunger for approval she is turning a blind eye towards her curiosity.

The idea that this isn’t even “The real Tessa” is wild to me, you’re telling me the solver literally an eldritch entity can adapt to humane environments, features, and characteristics that easily. If I were Uzi I’d be wetting myself right now. For me what I would really like to see is the solver disinfecting everyone(or like collecting itself) and somehow disconnecting itself from Cyn and Tessa cus I don’t think it will be able to operate without a host and skinsuit.

DOLL A LITRAL ICON AND GIRLBOSS. Her ideas of the absolute solver while also trying to use it to her advantage is really interesting, it’s crazy that she knew everything but didn’t tell Uzi. Some may argue with me and say ‘oh but doll did it to avoid Uzi ratting her out’ which is correct but, do you think it would alter the storyline if she did? I think it would. Some more question I would’ve asked doll are things like

Do you expect to defeat the solver alone? After defeating the solver what are your theories for a cure? And why do you look good doing everything?(shes so cool)

I am not really talking heavily about Nori right now cuz she deserves her own post but, the notes behind her are really cool to me. Like did she know about the absolute solver and the involvement with the disassembly drones and JcJ? But that’s kinda it

AGAIN N THINKING ABOUT UZI BEFORE HIMSELF AND OTHERS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Apparently can only add ten images so I’ll do a part 2

Reblogs>>>>likes

#stvrpost #murder drones nuzi #tessa james elliot #j murder drones #murder drones theory #n murder drones #murder drones uzi #murderdrones #murder drones v #disassembly drone #worker drone #lizzy murder drones #doll murder drones #murder drones n #murder drones j #murder drones

[pixelkip]

Aight. It's Annello time.

SO my interpretation of Annello has a slightly different backstory from the semi-official one given by Rageminer. They still fuse the same way, with Annie showing up after Garcello dies but is still hanging around as a ghost, she runs up and reaches out for him and. Yea.

A big difference in mine though is that the fusion isn't as much physically painful as it is uh,, mentally. Once they fuse both.. I guess sides?? of them are terrified and confused. Once they even realize what happened they're understandably fuckin horrified. Mostly because.. it technically means the 2 won't really see each other ever again

I say this cause.. while I might refer to them acting more like Annie or garcy, it's not a situation of 2 consciousnesses (is that even a word hell if I know) existing simultaneously, but just one with personality traits and memories of both. Sure, they can recognize what parts of them come from who, but they still are just one.

It also takes them a while to really be able to function again. Their highly conflicting personality traits can make it really hard for them to make decisions and the energetic-ness from Annie and anxiety from Garcello don't exactly mix nicely. They are simultaneously not used to being so energetic and highly emotional from Garcy's side, and not used to being so anxious and tired from Annie's side. They have a lot of moments where Annie's impulsivity kicks in, they do something kind of foolish and immediately wonder wait why the hell did I do that??

They also probably talk to themself a lot. Both cause they sometimes need to do that to get their thoughts in order and cause they're lonely :[

They eventually start sorting themself out though (but also with my version of them they at least have lil Rascal with them, since for me she and Annie would've had a sibling-rivalry type relationship that would carry over to annello, but that's probably a post for another day)

So. I imagine their actual personality being a slightly ominous goofball. I say ominous because come the fuck on they have both the Annie chaos and the garcy calm chill guy demeanor. Do u see what I'm going for here. They're gonna take Garcy's mysterious dude in the alleyway thing and take it to the next level by actually seeming like theyre totally up to something. They can go from tired bastard to bouncy ball of mischief within seconds. I think they'd start to lean into how they seem weird and unpredictable, since it's something about them they really can't change, might as well embrace it.

I imagine them kind of speaking with kind of a sweet but sly tone while also sounding very calm and quiet. Unlike their 1 official voice line, I hc that their voice can shift between sounding more like Annie or garcello, with it naturally changing depending on how they feel or what they're trying to convey. They could also consciously change it but they can't perfectly mimick one or the other. If they're excited or shouting though, that's how you get then speaking with both voices at the same time.

Ok that's mostly it for their character but there's a few more lil details that didn't really fit in this whole explanation so here's a few more things I came up with, sometimes with inspo from people on discord:

- since they're a fusion of a very much alive Annie and a ghost garcy, annello is half-ghost. For a while they'd randomly phase through things accidentally before they learned to get it under control. Might also allow them to dissappear at will. Because fuck you I think that's fun and cool

- said half-ghost thing also lead to an agreement that Hiroari Shoots A Strange Bird ~ Till When? is annello boss fight theme. Though, I also heavily associate them with Hartmann's Youkai Girl too. Fuck I can't avoid bringing up touhou every chance I get god dAMMIT FU

- oh on the topic of songs that fit my version of them. Deathbody by Ghost and Pals and The Ballad of Jane Doe from Ride the Cyclone

- I'm not sure if I'm keeping this now but i feel like it's worth adding, I had an old liquid form design for annello where they were more of a vapor-y ghost monster instead

- they have a bit of claustrophobia, both cause of their memory of dying in a small alley but also because they are significantly taller than the 2 goobers were, everything they're familiar with like their apartment and such feels smaller to them.

-oh yea. They're taller than even garcello was. I imagine them at like 6'5-7 ft tall

- they are the epitome of 2 idiots does not make a smart person. It makes an ominous but awkward airheaded dingus

- despite them being all weird and shit they're a complete fucking softie. I don't need to explain why with these 2 goobers it should be obvious

- for a good while after they fused they dressed like a complete fucking mess since they didn't know how the fuck they wanted to dress. This is what happens when u have the fashion taste of an emo furry and a man who'd wear pajamas 24/7 if it was socially acceptable

- they have fangs, but unlike Annie that's the only part of their teeth that are still sharp. Even so, garcys influence means they still feel awkward having them, so the fangs cause them to sometimes speak with a bit of a lisp

- still kibby just a really fuckin weird one

That's all. Have some doobles of the silly and uhh stan annello or perish

#annello #hazy river #garcello #annie fnf #long post #im very not sorry for being completely ridiculous about them

[ksficrec]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I love this blog, and I also wanted to take the opportunity that so many Kakasaku stories are shared here to express some frustrations I have when I’m reading a fic.I wonder if maybe there’s somone out there that share the same opinions so that’s why I’m here with a little list of things that bother me in a Kakasaku fic:

1- The “Sakura-Chan” thing. Kakashi does NOT call her like that, and frankly it only makes sense when Naruto says it. Kakashi calling Sakura like that is very ooc and not cute AT ALL for me.

2- Ino always being portrayed as the “sex expert”, pushing Sakura to dress sexy or whatever as if Sakura was a virgin prude with no sensuality of her own. It pisses me off, like why humiliating Sakura like that?

3- Sasuke being portrayed as a villain in OU fics: Sasuke suffered a lot of trauma and was heavily manipulated by Itachi, Orochimaru and Obito, but even if he was rude to Sakura sometimes, it was because he felt he had to push people away so he didn’t loose loved ones again. He deeply cared for team 7 so in OU fics, there’s a lot of ways you could write a good Kakasaku without having to bash Sasuke because canon Kakashi and Sakura understand Sasuke very well, it doesn’t make sense for them to hate him.

4- Last but not least, let’s be clear about what is slow-burn: slow-burn is when the relationship and chemistry are being constructed gradually, not rushed or urgent. They go slow with respect to each other’s limits. Writing a scene when the couple is about to have sex and then something/someone comes up and gets in the way is NOT slow-burn!!

Anyway, I just needed to take some things out of my chest because these little details really bother me when reading a story. Thanks for the attention, and keep up the good work!

Hi! Firstly, thank you 💕 Then,

This is where I realised I forgot most of canon and most of my Naruto knowledge now I think is purely from fics because I don't remember at all if Kakashi calls her Sakura-chan in canon or not! I don't mind it so much in fics, plus when it's used there is always a moment when feelings happen and he stops calling her -chan, so I don't so much mind this one. But I also prefer when he doesn't call her -chan, but instead sees her more as an equal in the field also (but idk if this is maybe a wstern bias I have and perhaps am not interpreting the japanese suffixes quite right).

I don't like the shy virginal Sakura portrayals either anymore (I think I did when I was a teen because I could relate to her that way). But also given the age difference and that in many fics Sakura is 18-19, I get the shy angle. But I just don't like reading that anymore, give me bamf, confident, sexually secure Sakura any day. However the flirty Ino is a trope I LOVE in fics.

(What does OU mean?) I get this but also I never really liked Sasuke too much. As an adult I understand that all his problematic behavior stems from being hurt and manipulated like you said, but the way he treats Sakura in canon is still very poor, traumatised or not. I get where it comes from but it's still not good behavior. Anyways in fics I also prefer when he is not such a bad guy, but a more sort of complicated situation. I also like the fics where he is dead but Sakura has only lovely and loving memories of him, which also complicates the situation

I am not sure what the actual fandom definition of slow burn is?? I am realising?? Because when they keep getting interrupted it's slow burn for the reader cause you want it so bad but it keeps getting delayed... but yea that's not so much slow burning feelings tha tthe characters have. While what you are describing is also friends to lovers (alt enemies to lovers) which is its own tag... so idk!! I'll take your word for it tho

I love this ask, you are all welcome to sending this kind of asks!

#ask #answered #fic meta

[b0dyhorrors]

so i just found a suselle playlist that i made & forgot about, does anyone want to see it

#suselle #susie deltarune #noelle holiday #juice.txt #deltarune #i made a shit ton of deltarune playlists on spotify then forgot about all of them the instant i wasn't fixated on deltarune anymore #and a lot of them are heavily into my interpretations of characters so yea

[hunting-season]

Can we get the other dorms Relationship with Yuu!Grim please?

Yea! I was planning to make a post for Sclaw and Octa, so you’ll have to wait for those lol, BUT I can do the last 4!!! srry this took me a bit !!!

Note: I am currently an EN-only, so my knowledge of the following characters is very limited and derived mostly from others’ interpretations of them. And they're very short bc, again, I know nothing abt them!

vv

Scarabia

Kalim thinks Yuu and Grim are cool! He treats Yuu and Grim as separate people, but in the way parents will ask a child if their imaginary friend wants a cookie, too. When he finds out they really are separate people, well! He does rectify his behavior. Kalim's just very nice and bubbly so Yuu and Grim like him lots! He headpats both of them, no matter who's in control. Grim likes headpats the most.

Jamil doesn't care. He thinks "Grim" is just an annoying persona/act Yuu does. Of course when he finds out they are two souls in one body, he'll try to act kinder, but he's still heavily exasperated and annoyed when it's Grim in control of the body. He doesn't know it, but that change in personality/approach to them depending who's in charge makes Yuu and Grim feel good! Well, as good as being called annoying can be, in Grim's case wwww

Pomefiore

Vil thinks Yuu-Grim's two different eyes is strange (appearance lore drop!!). He thinks it poses an interesting challenge to coordinate an outfit around the different eyes. On Yuu and Grim's changes in control, he finds it annoying, but since it's mostly Yuu in control, Vil couldn't care less. Vil invites Yuu-Grim to his dorm a couple times to dress them up. Surprisingly, he prefers it when Grim is in control over Yuu bc Yuu fidgets too much. These makeover sessions don't dwindle after Vil is told of them being two separate people; Vil starts to take each of their preferences to mind when Yuu or Grim is talking about clothes.

Rook thinks Yuu-Grim are fascinating! They appeal to his hunter habits. It's like a 2-in-1 type of deal. He originally calls them both "Trickster" because he thinks it's just Yuu, but after learning the different souls thing, he sticks to calling just Yuu "Trickster" and Grim is "Frère de la Trickster" (Trickster's brother [brother of the Trickster if tl'd seriously], but my French is rusty and I can't rmbr if "de la" is supposed to have an accent in it somewhere).

Epel thinks Yuu-Grim are cool but weird. Mostly because of how willing they are to comply with Vil's dressing-up wishes. He admires how fast the personality change is when faced with danger, but that's just Grim taking charge. When he learns that fact, he thinks Yuu-Grim are even cooler! And strong. You have to be strong to be able to host 2 souls in one body, right?

Ignihyde

Idia thinks Yuu-Grim are like an evil/dark side trope in characters who seem meek. He's surprised he's right when he finds out. Still tries to keep his distance far from them (and everyone else), but especially so if he thinks it's Grim in control of the body. However, he does want to know why Yuu-Grim are the way they are...Also gives them multiple bracelets that evolve as he gifts them thru Ortho. Color change, updated mechanics, updated design; you name it, Idia's done it! Its main purpose of displaying who is in control is still there.

Ortho thinks they're interesting! When it's Yuu in control, their breathing is shallow and their aura reads "Caution!" all over; when it's Grim in control, his breathing is stronger and he takes deeper breaths and he walks with his shoulders squared. When he finds out it's because of different souls in the same body, he's fascinated! Ortho likes spending his free time just talking to the pair trying to learn more about them, for his and Idia's curiosity!

Diasomnia

Malleus was very surprised when he first sees this odd Child of Man. Actually, he thought Yuu-Grim were fae-adjacent due to their mismatched eyes, but no. Not quite. He can sense they’re not entirely human, but he chalks it up to their magic being something he's unfamiliar with. After finding out they’re different souls, Malleus is like “Ah that explains why you’re not 100% human.” He does his best to accommodate calling his Child (Children?) of Man (Monster? Man-ster?) by their names. The bracelet helps.

Lilia doesn't think too much about Yuu-Grim. He's civil, they're civil, so it's all good! He of course accommodates and keeps an eye on the bracelet to properly address whoever it is he's talking to! He likes to tease the two, especially if Grim's in control. Yuu has taken to pushing up front to control the body if Lilia's coming and Grim's walking the body.

[Silver and Sebek are the characters I know possibly the least about. I don't actively search out content for them due to wanting to avoid spoilers and fandom tends to one-note them as "sleepy" and "loud everyone-but-fae hater". That being said, I think both would learn to treat Yuu and Grim as separate people!]

#dormouse squeaks #dormouse escapes #pitter patter goes the hatter #twst #twisted wonderland #grim!yuu #twst yuu #twst grim #dont wanna tag all the guys #scarabia #pomefiore #ignihyde #diasomnia

[greysfall]

My two cents on the TWEWY anime

Like I said in my last post, the TWEWY Animation is something better to have happened than not, and there are couples of good things about it too. In terms of production quality, I would consider it a low-budget anime. It serves the purpose of laying out the story in anime narrative, some characters get more screentime and get fleshed out a lot more (Eri, 777). Def March and Sota & Nao got revived, some scenes were nice… etc. The good things tho, cannot make up for some bigger issues of the anime, namely:

1.      Anime Josh is inaccurately designed and portrayed

As fans, you can draw and interpret a character however way you wish but as professionals who work on official materials, it’s hugely disappointing how they get none of Josh’s trademark features or expressions right. I have no business offending anyone who enjoys the anime, nothing wrong with that. I’m just commenting from the standpoint of an artist who has worked on professional levels, and as a Josh fanartist who has spent many, many hours studying his features and drawing Josh with a sense of faithfulness to the core of his character. Also as a Josh fan, this problem hit me pretty hard. 

(On the left: Joshua Kiryu. On the right: generic base model with a cheap wig)

Sure, the anime is low-budget and heavily based on 3D model perhaps, but I HAVE PROOFS IT CAN BE BETTER. I see no problem in simplifying details to make it easier to animate, the anime palette and art style is decent enough. HOWEVER, it’s the DESIGN. It’s the sloppily put together design that can ruin a character. Now it’s not a matter of different art styles, since I have tried fixing several scenes in the anime to make Josh look more like… Josh, with almost the same level of detail. Yea, it still looks a lot like my own art style but I studied the original design very carefully to fuse it with the anime model and palette.

(All original frames will be on the left and my fixed frames on the right)

Let me break it to you: Josh has a simplistic design but a very complex personality that is subtly hinted beneath his facial features and expressions. Nomura has the habit to draw characters quite similarly (with slightly droopy eyes) from the 2/3 or ¾ angle, but he does design them all to look different if you look closely enough.

Original Nomura sketch

Firstly the facial features. Nomura always draws Josh with sharp features: sharp eyes, brows, lashes, nose, mouth, everything. Josh’s front angle for example, clearly shows that he has really sharp eyes and distinctly smaller irises than say, Neku or Shiki. 

Iris size and eyes shape comparison

His eyes are supposed to show a mix of mischief and wit, and outright so – not hidden at all. Anime Josh’s eyes always look like he’s either blank, faking innocence or is sleepy.

Anime Josh and the “faking innocence” or “smiley eyes” expressions that were never seen in the original.

We all know about Josh’s infamous hairstyle, but ya know whenever I draw Josh, I draw the face without any hair first to make sure the eyes and brows carry his vibe. The anime screwed that up by giving him the same iris size as the other kids, his brows always look flat or downward and not straight up like in the original game design. Also my friends pointed out that his brows are not drawn in black lines like his original ones (Neku and Shiki are both given black brows) making every expression a tad duller.

Now comes the infamous hair, the shape and placement and size of the bang is everything. It’s tricky cuz Josh’s bang would look like a 3:7 ratio from the side or 5:5 from the front angle. Most of the time, anime Josh’s bang obscures too much of his forehead due to bigger bang size and wrong placement.

Compare: smaller forehead space can really change a face

If the character designer doesn’t get the face and the hair right, they get nothing about Josh. Why? Because it’s closely related to his characterization.

In terms of characterization, it felt pretty off most of the time. Game Josh is much snarkier and sassier, nonetheless more righteous (his name literally means Justice plus his role as a spiritual ruler). Meanwhile anime Josh is just pretentious. Game Josh never cares to hide his mischief, just getting his way around the truth. He never even talks much about himself and only explains the most vital key points, therefore he was able to create a maze of doubt and confusion surrounding his existence, making his character so compelling to in-game characters and likewise fans. Anime Josh lacks the charm due to downplaying all of that, as Composer he even had to explain everything himself at the end – kinda lame, to be honest.

Josh was pretty amused when Neky found out about CAT’s identity and the anime saw no importance in that (up: original frame, down: edited frame). 

More importantly, anime Josh’s expression sheet is composed of mostly non-existent emotions for Josh and seems to be designed by someone who has never played TWEWY and only guessed what he’s like based on characters of similar tropes. A good designer should never read characters based on tropes. The thing is, the original anime concept design looks like it’s done by someone who has a much better grasp of Josh visually. 

What the hell happened between the two?  

Granted that anime Josh is based on Kobayashi Gen’s design instead of Nomura’s, and Gen himself does seem to struggle a lot with drawing Josh because his drawings rarely come out right. Gen did try at some points and did a decent job, features or vibe – he would at least try to get one of those right on important occasions. However, the anime character designer just did a tropy, generalized design as the model and Josh in the ENTIRE anime was based on that. Why? They could have always made it better and truer. They simply never did.

This Gen’s Josh is alright.

This Gen’s Josh is an utter tragedy.

This sketch shows Josh’s face in Gen’s memories, a bubble of undefined smugness. No wonder it wasn’t Nomura who drew “Yoshiya” in A New Day. The job was definitely assigned to someone who never gets Josh right from the first place.

Look at the ending and promo art for TWEWY done by Ilya Kuvshinov. They’re a commission artist and their work shows clear research and effort in portraying every character correctly, even when fused with their personal style. That’s an artist taking their job seriously, the anime character designer sure isn’t.

The same thing happened to Sho. Sho was also given a good concept design at the beginning and suffers from the same design generalization later. He never even got to chant Pi so really, what was even the deal? Are these interesting characters too much to be portrayed correctly? Are they above what the anime makers find comprehensible? Whatever the case, I don’t think it’s worth it.

2.      The ultimately worst scene in The Animation is probably the final gun showdown between Neku and Joshua

Neku dropping his gun and smiling while saying “I trust you” is super cringy and out of character and illogical, as it somehow throws away all of his anger and frustration at that moment which makes the burden of his decision so obvious and relatable in the original. This is such a huge shame, cuz Neku’s been nicely portrayed for most of the anime series. The whole point of that scene was not Neku calming down to rely it all on “trust”, but about whether he could choose to NOT shoot Josh even at the highest point of his pain and emotions, despite all the s.hit that’s happening to face Josh with everything on the line, thus resulting in his final victory. 

He just did not wanna shoot Josh, but also did NOT drop his gun in the original scene because I’m sure if Josh redirects the gun to Shiki or Beat instead, the outcome would have been different. Neku is not the naïve and trusting person the anime decided for him to be, he grew up to trust and listen, but he’ll always have a good sense of critical thinking.

So to conclude this essay, here are the original frames and my fixed frames put together side by side - with help from a friend @areiml​ who shares my opinion for row 4 and 6.

Full size: https://im.ge/i/dDAk9

#twewy #subaseka #joshua kiryu #the world ends with you #yoshiya kiryu #Neku Sakuraba #twewy joshua #twewy neku

[hiddleyheh]

#and also there's human experimentation sooo yea Rip to Kakash.i gonna make him suffer 😔 <--- OH??? CARE TO ELABORATE, PLEASE?? and we can NEVER have enough Hatake lore YES PLS DO THE AU I AM CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO READ IT ( ...but no pressure I just really like the way u write things 💖)

Gaaahhh thank you :] I'm glad you like my writing 🥰

The au is called "To Catch A Stray Hound" and I'm just using this as an excuse to explore ROOT, Kakashi, Rin, Obito, ANBU, chakra theory, and medical ninjutsu headcanons that I have skdjflsdf

The basic premise is that Danzo takes in Kakashi as his ward days after Sakumo's suicide and trains him to be his right hand at the age of 5/6. Eventually, the whole story escalates to Konoha having a civil war as Danzo takes the hat with Kakashi by his side, and Team Minato and Team 7 - along with others that were able to escape/defect - fight.

I got inspired from The Soldier by panda_shi on Ao3, who has a lot of interesting headcanons about the ROOT Foundation (Just a fair warning this fic is dark, and I mean dark. It goes in deep exploring how Danzo conditions his soldiers)

I'll put some rambles about what I think the Hatake kekkei genkai is in this au under cut

Just a few fair warnings: Major character injury, human experimentation (Orochimaru), mentions of manipulation and dehumanization (Danzou)

I interpret White Chakra as a sort of unique variation of yang Chakra that's exclusive to the clan. From what I can gather, yang chakra allows for the modification/strengthening/healing of the body and cells. However in the Hatake clan, their yang chakra develops and is produced separately from their regular reserves, as well as it being far more flexible. In turn, their regular reserves are often seen as smaller than average as their body cannot handle that much chakra.

(I have a headcanon that canon!Kakashi wasn't able to develop his White Chakra reserves after Kannabi bridge because Obito's eye kept drawing on his chakra. But it's losing a part of himself and his last connection to the Hatake clan that allowed Kakashi to survive with Obito's eye for so long)

This would allow them to channel yang chakra into physical objects to either sharpen, strengthen, or even alter the size. This unique form of yang release is often incredibly useful if the user had precise chakra control, as it lessens their loss.

If the person had greater White Chakra reserves, in turn having lower than average normal reserves, they can likely manifest whole strucutres/objects with just white chakra. The only caveat is that it has the user of the technique needs to be in contact with the chakra object they are manifesting, it draws a lot from their white chakra reserves, it can only be extended so far, and the charkra control to keep the object's shape needs to be extremely precise or it might backfire. (The struggle to maintain form is because this is because yang chakra focuses on phyiscal energy. It still implements some spiritual energy, but that is more common in yin release.)

-

That being said, Kakashi would have probably made an amazingly effective yet lethal medic nin.

Which is exactly what Danzo trains Kakashi to be in this au :)

A lot of external medic ninjutsu shown in the manga and anime involves yang release. As this nature involves the physical body, and allows for the creation of life, it would make sense why it would be so heavily involved in this field. All of the medic nins in Naruto, that had info on their affinities, had an affinity to yang chakra.

In canon, Kakashi does have yang release. And he likely has great control as to lessen his drain from Obito's eye while performing ninjutsu and mastering other nature releases.

(I'm gonna skip over my headcanons for medic nins in this post, because that is a whole bag of worms and trauma and I wanna stay focused on the Hatake clan's White Chakra skdfjsld)

Before joining Team 7, Kakashi has already started practicing to become a medic nin while being under an apprenticeship with Minato. He still studies kenjutsu with his father's tanto and other nature releases with Minato, but takes Kakashi's training a little less seriously.

Joining Team 7, their dynamic now shifts in terms of combat. Obito still studies genjutsu as it's unique to the Uchiha, and ninjutsu. Rin mainly focuses in traps, fuinjutsu, and taijutsu. (I'm debating if she learns Minato's version of the Hiraishin) And Kakashi who is a medic-nin, sideline fighter and nostly specializes in kenjutsu with the White Chakra blade and senbon.

-

I guess this is spoilers for my own au that I haven't even written yet???

Kakashi is the one that falls in Kannabi bridge, he still loses his left eye. His entire lower body is crushed and he loses his left forearm.

Obito unlocks in Mangekyo Sharingan here, and was able to get Kakashi out of the rubble and bring him to Konoha using Kamui.

(Kakashi gifts the White Chakra Blade to Obito and the Dog summoning scroll to Rin. He forefits the Hatake Compound to the two of them.)

Danzo encounters the two at the hospital, takes the boy and fakes Kakashi's death during surgery.

-

Bing, bang, boom. He's now in the clutches of Orochimaru and Danzo permanantly. Hatake Kakashi is effectively as good as dead.

He is Hound.

There, Kakashi gets new Hashirama cell replacement limbs, but his body isn't fully compatible. In the beginning, his body struggles to acccept the new limbs, nearly killing him. Orochimaru was able to somewhat stabilize it, but Kakashi still has days where he loses control and his body is effectively killing itself in an effort to reject the limbs (though its less often as it becomes more incorporated into his body). Not to mention, Kakashi still gets phantom pains.

Orochimaru also experiments on Kakashi's kekkei genkai, which had only started to develop. With extensive experimentation, surgery, a lot of questionable medical practices, and a whole lot of no anesthesia - Orochimaru finds something peculiar about this clan's blood limit.

He was able to manipulate it so the yang chakra being produced becomes yin chakra. Eventually, Orochimaru does enough changes so Kakashi can change what kind is producing at will.

Now along with Kakashi's body struggling to accept the newly implanted Hashirama cells, his body begins to over-produce yin and yang chakra and releasing it as pure, raw chakra. The equivalent of when Naruto loses control of the Nine-Tails. It's literal poison to his body and is damaging his cells (which is now being healed with Hashirama cells).

Because of this, Orochimaru needs an outlet for Kakashi to safely release his new excess amount of chakra that his body overproduces.

It initially starts with a plug on the back of his neck, constantly draining chakra from Kakashi. But eventually Orochimaru develops a new eye for Kakashi, one to replace the one he lost in Kannabi bridge.

It's iris is shaped like Tsunade's Strength of a Hundred Seal, as it stores yin chakra within the eye. The pupil's color can shift whether Kakashi is using yin, yang, lighting, or other releases. However, when drawing yin chakra from the sealed eye, it causes the scerla to go black, and unlike the markings that spread across the body from the seal, it causes Kakashi's veins to go visibly black and it begins to damage him the longer he draws uses yin technique. (The amount of time he can draw chakra grows longer the greater his control becomes over the years).

Remember when I mentioned that if a Hatake memeber had large enough White Chakra reserves, they can manifest whole obejcts of pure chakra? Now that Kakashi's kekkei genkai has been altered so it can produce the unique yang chakra, but that form of ninjutsu becomes far more easier with yin release. The only difference now, it manifests as Black Chakra.

With this, he can further extend how far is chakra can reach, create far more elaborate objects, and is so dense it can likely restrain a jinchuuriki or tailed beast ;)

Kakashi, who has just went through what is probably 2 and 1/2 years of human experimentation, rehabilitation, conditioning , and torture under Orochimaru and Danzou's watchful eyes effectively becomes one of Danzou's trusted tools and best kept secret. (This isn't even mentioning the conditioning and training Kakashi undergone before Kannabi bridge)

No one knows of his identity, Hatake Kakashi died as a disgrace in a mirror of his father's death.

Hound grows in the ranks of ANBU and ROOT. There's whispers that he as the most merciful and caring, and yet, ruthless team captain during those selected days Danzou chooses him for a mission.

Hiruzen is fully aware of Hound's loyalty. Always standing by Danzou's side.

ANBU and the other villages call him Danzou's Hound.

#heh is typing #heh is answering #naruto #To Catch a Stray Hound #kakashi hakate #when i say i'm gonna make kakashi suffer in this au #i wasnt kidding 😔 #also i dont really have a lot of time to write because whooo boy the world building and headcanons are plentiful in this au #and also writing fiction isnt really my forte sbs but i reallyy wanna write this au #probably when i get more free time which is prob next year tbh #i dont mind waiting to write this fic #i have so many interpreations about the shinobi system and root and i just want to puke it all out in aaaaa #when i said i wanted to explore the full ramifications of the naruto universe #i /meant/ we're gling to explore the full ramifications of the naruto universe #strap yourselves up buckaroos! #its one hell of ride that's gonna make you cry

[zhuhongs]

なんか私の想いが溢れ出した. i went out with some friends last night and every time i go out i always realize just how bad i am at communicating and how bad I am with people. (long meandering post under the cut. feel free to ignore its unfocused and long.. like 2k words under there)

I’ve mentioned this before but I don’t really talk much irl. I don’t talk, I can’t connect properly. Every time I’m out with people I just feel fundamentally, like… different. So a group of my irls friends plus me were going to the movie theatre and I personally really hate movie theatres. I knew we were going to one and prepared myself thinking “oh it’ll be fine bc you'll be with friends, just enjoy their company '' But god I really hate movie theaters. It’s been so long, i forgot how much I really really hated them. They’re so loud and bright. I’d much rather watch a movie at home but tbh I also just don’t like movies bc I can’t sit through them and I can’t focus and I don’t get invested easily and I need to be doing something with my hands at all times. To make matters worse, my friend's friend that I really don’t like came along. I just, I don’t like her. She’s just too loud and attention seeking and childish. Like she says things for a reaction, like rlly not okay things sometimes and I just can’t stand her. like we went to see godzilla vs king kong and then entire movie she kept YELLING "IF THEY DONT KISS I WANT MY MONEY BACK" and i was like... you are 21 yrs old oh my god.. this isnt ur tumblr blog in middle school. shut up. But here’s the thing, I don’t know how to tell her or anyone that. Like I just can’t figure out a good way to say it, so I put up with it. Things like this just make me feel incredibly annoyed. I always talk on here about how if I have an issue with anyone, I’ll just say it like an adult. But in face to face situations I just don’t know how to say things. Well I do know how to say it - it’d be easy.  I just hate having to do it. Like I don't have to say the whole thing about how I don’t like her but when she says like “simp” when she’s nonblack I could just be like. “Hey don’t say that, here’s why” and I’m sure she’d stop. Yet I can’t bring myself to have that one moment of discomfort to tell her to stop yelling in my ear or stop saying things that make me annoyed. I feel useless in a way. ちゃんとできない。 ちゃんと伝えない。During the entire movie I was thinking to myself that I’d rather be home watching a drama by myself and doing hw. I also hate going out for other reasons. I hate being seen. I hate my appearance. I know I don’t have to be pretty, I only need to exist for me. Like wow, I just have so many body image issues, and they all manifest heavily as soon as I go out in public. 

But afterwards I changed my mind a bit. There was a moment where we were outside running around in the street and it reminded me of that one scene in AIB episode one with Chota, Karube, and Arisu in the street and I was rlly like… wow… maybe human connection really is good. It doesn’t matter if I’m pretty or good at talking, sometimes, to laugh and be silly wth others is all you need to make your night. Just one moment, just one person really is all it takes. We all went out for dinner afterwards and it was really really fun. I enjoyed it, there really is something about eating with someone that brings you closer to them.  

The entire time though, I didn’t talk much. I don’t really know when to cut in in a conversation to a point where it feels right. I feel like by saying my piece I’m interrupting others just to say something that wasn’t really of any use. Really, I prefer silence with others. I’m bad at talking in social situations but I’m great at talking in classes and at work because of the context. Because I’m expected to engage there. The pretense is different. Like you’re supposed to contribute in those places. It’s acceptable to talk there. But for me, it doesn’t really feel acceptable to just share about myself like that in a social group setting. I wish I could always communicate like how I am doing here. It’s so much nicer online. I get to post my full complete thoughts without bothering any of you. My words can easily be disregarded and just flipped through. It’s passive. Posting is passive, talking is active. And sometimes, people don't really want to talk to others, they just want to say their piece. Like when talking about their problems, often we just want to say it and the act of saying those words is all we need. We don’t want input, it annoys us. I don’t like to cut in, and I can never find the right words to say. Even right now, none of this feels like it’s coming out correctly. None of my words feel like they’re coming out correctly nowadays, but this is the only way I know how to be. If I can’t post my thoughts on here, even if they come out crooked and ugly, I may never speak again. I have to keep talking, and typing, and trying otherwise I’ll never get any better. And I know it’s okay to do things wrong, but still, I can’t let myself do that. Again, I do fine when I’m at work and school. I’m functional, normal, you would never be able to tell how much is going on in my head. But in private, I may never speak again if I wasn’t spoken to. 

When I was younger, around 12 or 13, I remember something a friend posted on my first online community. They posted, quite honestly, that they never wanted to meet anyone on there irl. No matter how close we are, it would never be the same IRL. I didn’t get that sentiment at the time. To me, why wouldn’t you want to see your friends everyday in person? That would be great. But I think I get it now. I’m afraid that if I ever met any of you someday it wouldn’t be the same. I’m not really the same in person. I’m bad at talking, bad at connecting. I’m not a proper person. But I feel like that’s okay. It’s okay to just exist on here as I am. While my friend was talking to me on our drive back to her place (we carpooled) she was telling me about her life. And she was apologizing like “oh I’m sorry I keep talking about myself” but quite honestly I was glad to just be able to listen. At some point my friend kept asking me what was up so I decided maybe I’ll tell them the arcane secrets of how I’ve been into guardian and how all the characters rlly hit for me for personal reasons. That was really the only thing I thought that was of note to tell her about. Really I don’t think I’ve done or felt much new since I last talked to her. But as I was trying to explain I just wasn’t doing it right. She just didn’t get it and trying to talk about something like that just made me embarrassed to the point where I just dropped it and tried to just say, “oh yea, you got it, that’s it.” and move along bc I didn’t think she’d get it. She’s the type that doesn’t really get how you can make meaningful connections online. So whenever I try to talk to her about certain things, it just doesn’t register. I’ve learned to choose my battles. I didn’t really think she wanted to get it. So I didn’t tell her. I tried telling her about stuff I liked in the past and I just always stop halfway through. I can’t communicate properly. I can’t speak in a way that I think is worthy of being heard. So I don’t talk. It frustrates me to no end. It feels like everyone else can do it so easily, that I’m the wrong one. 

I had another friend from Uni message me about something and she was like “so what’s new with you, twin” (we have similar bdays and get along well so we call each other that) and tbh I just, didn’t know what to tell her. I had talked to her in a long time, so things had happened but nothing so easily said that I could just tell her over text. SO I just was like “work, school, yk how it is” and yea. I really am the one choosing not to let people in. It frustrates me to no end but I don’t know what a good starting point is ever. I feel like I should just send all my IRLS my long reflection essays next time they wanna know what's up. All the secrets to why I am the way I am are in there.

I’m scared of telling people how I feel about anything. IRL when I say something I often speak quietly, moreso like I’m only talking to myself. People often don’t hear what I had to say. And I don’t repeat myself. If it was something someone didn’t hear, in my head, that means that it wasn’t important enough to repeat. I’m afraid of talking and being misunderstood and never being able to be interpreted the way I mean. I want to convey all my thoughts correctly the first time. So i don’t repeat myself, not bc I’m mad at the person who didn’t hear me. It’s not about them, it’s about me. I don’t believe my words to be worth repeating. I don’t want anyone to stop the conversation for me. Just keep going, it won’t come out the right way anyways. I was taking a uquiz a week or so ago and one question was “what power do you want” and one option was smth like the power of comprehension. Which would make it so every time you spoke, that person would understand you the way you intended. That is the most ideal power for me to ever possess like it was unreal. I’m still thinking about that quiz. It was good.

I know that I’m worth being listened to and that my words are valuable enough to be heard but I don’t want to do that. I’d rather listen. I only like talking when it’s safe like it is here. I’m trying my best to get better though. I keep saying that I want to be a proper adult. I want to live right and without regrets and i really think communication is key to that. I’m trying. It’s hard but I’m trying. But still, I can only talk here a lot.  I can’t talk any other way. I don’t tell my friends about my interests, it embarasses me to no end. 

Being on here is comforting though. When I talk about stuff like this, I always see a lot more people than usual like my post. I feel like you can all relate. Really, people are more similar than not. We all have very similar burdens and pains and baggage. It’s comforting, I'm not alone. My words might be able to help someone. Because when all of you talk about the same things, i also feel seen and comforted and since we are so similar, then the same is true for the things I say.

But anyways, I did a lot of listening tonight, and it reflects the sentiment above. People are the same. I was listening to my friend’s friend talking about her mom earlier and the entire time, I really resonated with what she was saying. I got it. Her mom’s situation was really similar to my own mom’s situation in the past. And I was just amazed at how I barely knew this girl but I felt really similar to her. I saw her differently after learning all that. It was really a great thing. ANd on the way home, my friend was telling me about her life recently and some things andi really understand what she was going through. I didn’t say anything, because again, I don't like to interrupt. And when I try and be like ‘oh me too, it's the same for me too” I feel like I’m derailing. I know I’m not but I really think she needed to say her piece. So I let her. But the entire time, I thought about the things in my life that were the same as what she was feeling and it was beautiful. Life and human bonds are beautiful. Even when they are hard and messy and annoying, people all want the same things. They want to be loved and seen and understood. And in those moments when we feel seen, it’s worth more than any of those complicated feelings that come along with it. Not to be cheesy but wow… in order to reap the rewards of being loved, you really do need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known. I was glad I didn’t stay home watching a drama. I was glad that I went out. No matter how alienated I feel from others, there’s still merit in being around other people. No matter how much others may misunderstand you and annoy you, they are almost always worth more than being alone. That;s because deep down, we’re all the same.

I’m not good at reminding myself that. As I said here, I don’t let people see me. I don’t let people in, I’d rather keep them out. I’m a picky, boring person. I don’t like people easily and I don’t tell them much. I stay inside my own head and I don’t like to come out. I was raised that way. But people are worth it. Communication is worth it, no matter how hard. It’s all worth it. I need to try harder so I can be a person who is able to see and enjoy more beauty in this world. I spent my hr long drive home listening to music and ruminating on these thoughts, trying to plan out all the words I wanted to say here. I don’t think I said any of it right. I’m not satisfied with how I write nowadays. But writing, talking, conveying emotions, all of these things are worth doing. So no matter how crooked and awkward it comes out, I will keep doing it. It is my goal. 

#🐌.txt #i wrote this last night bc i had a lot of thoughts driving home and the entire time i was out but they didnt translate well to type #i tried fixing it this morning and its still just off and im sock at reading it so into the void it goes #honestly i could make a playlist to describe my emotiona better at this point but ill never listen to those songs again.. ita just the like #uesterdays vibe #anyways good morning tho.. im gonna make a cup of coffee and take a shower now #i love u all im glad ur here

[brokemylegflippingthefirewall]

*This is absolutely a fic promotion, but plz hear me out on the discourse part too

So, self inserts and original characters, the worst fanfic catgeory (fanfiction.net literally says that in one of its fic groupings, and I'm pretty sure the number of views on any fanfic website says the same).

TLDR- Yes, I agree that this stereotype carries truth, but I do think SIs and OCs have more potential to be explored, and the stigma surrounding these labels is blocking that. And oh god I just want to know so badly if this is the deal with the work I'm currently writing or if I genuinely just can't write well.

The longer version- (this was written quite late into the night/ I'm in Singapore/, and might not be so well organized, I apologize for that.)

To what extent is this stigma "justified"? I mostly use AO3 for reading fics, and when I see the OC/SI tag, the thing is....I came to look for fics about canon characters and might not have the wish to invest my time in taking in a new character. I understand that most people who read fanfiction would feel the same. This, I think, is more or less justified. If you came to look for a certain canon character/relationship, and you don't want to get invested in any OCs, then of course the OC/SI tag isn't for you.

But... I think that's about it. Bcs here's the thing,

1. Using the OC/SI format does NOT automatically make the fic worse in quality. Hell, I'm not even sure if the statistical "fact" that these tags generate the worst fics is true. Judging from what I've read in the tma fandom and my other past fandoms, the stuff with OC/SI isn't inherently worse or better than the rest of the fics. There are ones that are pretty normal in writing quality, and the ones where the prose is rly good, others where plot design stands out etc. Of course, there is a lot of wish fulfillment and the like, but... there's also a lot of that in fics that write about canon characters.

2. I can't really say whether a wish fulfillment "I just want to write cool scenes/fluff" fic is better or worse than a more serious fic that explores some characterization or plot point. I think stories (all stories, books, fanfic, myths, everything) exist to entertain us and make us feel things. I am not sure if writing a feel good story is any less meaningful than writing a story that brings people "deeper" thoughts and makes them feel good in some other way. And this isn't even the issue at hand, because fundamentally, writing an OC/SI or not doesn't determine what the content is about. I agree that a larger proportion of OC/SI fics tend to be more on the lighthearted side, but... so is most of the content consumed in the other tags. Readers don't seem to have a problem with feel good stories/fix it fics etc when there is no OC or SI, so I don't see why that type of fic paired with an OC/SI should be considered any less "meaningful".

3. Guys/gals, what is an OC/SI?

Yes, it is very personal, and it is very wish fulfillment, but... isn't that like a common literature thing...like in general? Look at the works that "real writers" publish, from contemporary to the classics, which writer doesn't write about themselves? Like, just off the top of my head, Les Miserables, Marius? Um, Dante's Inferno? (and that guy did not self insert into some random thing he straightup went for the Christian Canon😂 used his real name too, so Jonny I guess if you feel awkward about your MCs name you can think of Dante//Jk). But seriously, self insert and wish fulfillment is a big part of literature itself, and while there are things to be said about these tropes, if people don't have that much of a problem with them in other literature, I don't see why fanfic OC/SIs shouldn't be treated the same.

4. in relation to the last point. More specifically...

I do think that a lot of fanfiction which write about the original characters are also OC/SIs to different extents. I've read fics that depict pairings where the author and readers project heavily onto one (or more) of the characters. I've read stuff where the author uses a minor character to explore the established world building/character dynamics and it's clear that it's an SI but with the appearance of being a canon character (and yes it gets tons more views than one that's written as SI). How do I know this? Because I am one of those readers who project onto those characters, and I know why I read those fics, I know why I like them. It's because I can self insert, and feel like I am part of the story, part of the world. Isn't that something most people want to do? I mean, Universal Studios? Specific franchise themed museums? COSPLAY??? Of course that's not all there is to engaging with a story, but what's the shame in wanting to be a part of an already established world building, or want to love a wonderfully designed character? (slight tangent, but if u feel like it's bcs ur not as interesting/cool as the story's world or other characters appear to be then I can tell you with certainty that's not true. You are very interesting and cool and absolutely deserve to be part of a fantasy world.) Isn't that a big part of why "real literature" is written and read as well? So... what's the problem with being like, okay, I'm just gonna insert myself into the world now, through this original character? Of course, I'm not asking for people who prefer to write strictly in canon characters to change that. What I mean to say is, writing it in the form of an OC/SI, doesn't make it a lot different from other fics, or hell, from classic literature even.

I think a potential problem might be the feeling that you are taking too much creative liberty with something that is established canon, by having your own character directly interact with it. But, um, can't the same thing be said if you take a canon character, and then proceed to project heavily onto them? Like, a big part of why I don't feel comfortable writing just canon characters is that I know I'm clearly projecting and it feels awkward to rewrite an already established character to explore my own thoughts/desires. I would rather just straightup design a new character. (this is all just personal feelings, I haven't thought enough about this to make any kind of argument here. And of course, the main reason is I can't trust myself to write canon characters that don't ooc in some way so having one as my protag might kill me with my own awkwardness. )

5. the potential.

Now this is looking far ahead because I'm not sure how much our current system for distribution of knowledge & copyright can allow it. But damn. The OC/SI thing has a lot of potential. There is one thing that makes it different from writing in canon characters, and that is the way it opens up a clear space for you to add your own experience into the story. When exploring your own world view through the lense of an already established world, or vice versa, so much can be revealed about both, perhaps even bringing to light aspects of the narrative the author hadn't previously seen. We all know this feeling, it's when we ramble on about one of our stories or worlds to a friend, and they point something out, and we're like ooooh that makes a lot of sense but I hadn't thought about it before. Yea, like those moments. Stories are generally made more interesting by their interaction with many different perspectives/experiences. With OC/SI it straightup allows you to be like, okay, I'm going to engage my own experience with this fictional world/character now. I mean, isnt that also a large part of how fanfics work in general? Readers/writers bouncing symbols and experiences off each other in the form of stories? Reading about the various interpretations of canon stuff? Whats the problem with tagging it as it is? I'm just thinking about the fics that could have been written as OC/SI and explored the story in some fascinating way which weren't written at all or were discontinued bcs the number of views discouraged those authors. (I feel that with my current work as well, though I have already written half of it and the remaining half is too juicy to give up so I'll probably be completing it)

6. conclusion, sorta

I guess what I want for OC/SO fics is just the same treatment as everything else. Saw it in the tags you were searching for? Look at the teaser. Do you find it interesting? No, then very well. Yes, then click in and take a look. Do you like the writing style? Are you getting into the narrative?... etc. You know, like, same standards you would have for any other kind of fic. Not feeling like you want to read about a new character? Cool, no problem at all, click away. But I do not think that the current difference in number of views is just based on whether readers are interested in reading about a new character or not. In fact, that's what I want it to be. Show me that "true" difference, the one without the stigma behind it, because, as the same goes for every kind of stigmatized community, you're not receiving the proportionate amount of positive feedback, but what's worse is you can't even trust the criticism you receive. If no one engages, or someone gives a negative feedback, how am I supposed to know if it's because my writing is bad? or my teaser wasn't interesting? or my character was badly written/designed? Or if it was to a certain extent, bcs of the stigma? I do want criticism, of course I do, it's the first step to every improvement, and I would love it if I could get feedback that I can trust. (and this brings us to the truely "oppressed" community of the fanfic world, the people who write very good but cant write interesting teasers//jk)

7. the entirely skippable straw man rant part, also the expression of my love for The Magnus Archives.

some straw man: if you like writing your own characters so much, why not just write your own story entirely? and publish it?

You think I'm not annoyed about that? Here's the thing, I LIKE THIS WORLD I READ FROM THIS BOOK/SOME OTHER FORM OF MEDIA OR WHATEVER, I like it, it's brilliant, I want to write for it, about it, be in it, think about it, read about it, engage in whatever way I can. I CAN'T just "go write my own." And who do you think is more annoyed about not being able to publish the stuff? (According to you) I have written something that is potentially publishable (thank you btw I know you don't exist and is a strawman I invented just now but I've gotta get my compliments where I can//Jk), and I can't publish it in any potentially big way (and rightfully not) because I have no copyright over the characters. I worked hard to design my character, to make the plot meaningful, and to study the original canon plot and characters so that it would all fit together (I mean, partially bcs I can't force myself to sit down and write sth that is any less complex), and I can't actually publish it where more people will read it. And of course, on top of that, even less people will feel like reading once that "original character" tag is up. Does it look like I would be here if I could "just write my own"?

(slight tangent but come on what even is "your own"? how many classic European lit books were just fanfics of each other which were all just fanfics of the Bible or Greek mythology or sth? Stories and symbols have no boundaries it's the economic system that drew those.)

Damn this got way longer than I thought and it's morning now😂 guess I ran out of space to actually promote my fic, might have to do that in a seperate post then. But to anyone who actually read up to here, I'm so sorry for wasting your time no but srsly thanks for reading all of these jumbled thoughts, and good luck with whatever you are working on at the moment, I know you're probably working on something if you're reading through these tags. And of course good luck to the tma folk we're gonna face the end together🙏. good night (I should rly go to sleep now😂)

#the magnus archives #fanfiction #original character #self insert #discourse #literature #tma

[lilflowerpot]

I really love how you're exploring galra body language. It's just something that's heavily ignored, unless it's talked about in more sexual fanfics. Both my boyfriend and I have autism and we have our own 'way' of interacting with one another and body language can be really important to the both of us (since we're not really the most verbal of people) so I do in a way relate with having a different body language to others that can end up in inevitable misunderstandings

(cont.) So, yea, thank you for actually writing about body language. A lot more people than I first thought don’t really realise how important it can be. And I know you probably hear this a lot, but you really are such an amazing writer. You’re a really big inspiration to me and I honestly hope my writing can be one day as good as yours. If you decide to write more after LB, I’ll be definitely following shortly afterwards :D

I have a younger family member who’s a little on the autistic spectrum (something we weren’t aware of for a long time) and in finding this out and starting to understand that they just interact with the world slightly differently to other people, it became easier to accommodate their behaviour and work with them rather than everyone around them growing frustrated at their inability to read social cues that the rest of us took for granted (which was totally born of our own ignorance and not at all a reflection on them); what used to seem like them being deliberately obstinate we learnt was actually just a need to understand the “why” of everything before they act upon it, and a core difference in how they process things. Though it was a learning curve for all of us, I think their relationship with everyone has improved a lot because of it - they’re no longer made to feel like they’re constantly missing something obvious, and all it requires is for us to take just a moment more to term things in a way their brain likes, or an extra second to read their physical cues as particular to them rather than what we’d immediately assume, were they coming from someone else. It was such a minor alteration for me to make to my own behaviour, but they’re so much happier for it!

Of course, I don’t intend to speak for your experience, and I can only really discuss it in terms of what I’ve seen as an outsider, but as a writer I’m sure that this has bled into my understanding and interpretation of Keith’s character, because body-language is everything! I think with all characters (autistic or otherwise) their physical expression can so often tell both the reader and other characters within the narrative things that their words do not, and it’s a far more honest and intimate experience to see what they think but do not say, as well as how this can be (mis)interpreted by others.

Thank you so much sweetheart! I’m impossibly flattered that I could be an inspiration to you, and I’m sure that the more you write (and write and write and write) the better said writing will become. You shouldn’t strive to make your writing “as good as” mine - complimentary as that sentiment is - because while having my writing as a point of comparison might be useful to learn from, your writing is your own; by all means, be inspired! But remember that you and I have had different experiences / read different things / known different people / are different people, and no matter how much “better” you might consider someone else’s writing to be they’ll never be able to write the story you could. Instead, you’re in a league entirely of your own making, and I have no doubt that the things you’ll one day write will be spectacular.

#comparing your writing to someone else's is so easy to do - trust me I know - but I do hope that you can fixate on the good! #okay i'm done trying to be inspirational now #i hope it was at least a little useful to you #Ao3 Little Blade #sa screams back #the author speaks

[butterfly--empress]

KH3 Boxart...And Chess Pieces...

Going under read more because I know people still haven’t played or finished the game.

So I don’t usually get too over worked on doing a lot of speculation pieces because i’m either 30/60 right to wrong and the stuff I’m wrong about the writing goes in a complete 180 and then I’m going, wait? WHUT?!

In short, I don’t like to speculate too much in regards to Kingdom Hearts because one really never knows where the hell Nomura and his team is going with this, so whatever happens I just go along for the ride. 

But ya’ll...YA’LL I WILL talk about my hopes that I have low expectations for but can we just talk about that secret ending for a second!

Okay, 1st: Nomura that sneaky son of a bitch thinks he’s so damn clever with this boxart. He never draws things for the sake of drawing them and I’m sure a lot of us had speculated that the city/world/town that our favorite guardians of light are at, would be a new world to explore in the later half of the game.

Because it sure as hell ain’t none of the already known original Kingdom Hearts Worlds we know. 

But wait...not once has this world ever showed up for all of 50 plus hours of gameplay, we NEVER see this world. 

Until Sora and Riku show up in it in the DAMN secret Ending but wait, there’s more! 

We actually DO get a glimpse of this world for the Verum Rex game trailer when we go to Toy Story but at the time I didn’t really pay much attention to how similar it looked to the damn backdrop of the city in the boxart because my main attention was on: HOLY SHIT! NOMURA, YOU SLY MOFO VERSUS XIII IN MY KH3?!

I was also going, wow this looks really good...almost TOO GOOD and TOO WELL THOUGHT OUT for just a game trailer for an obvious final fantasy game parody for toy story or as a good reason to explain why Sora and crew shows up there to help with the Heartless. 

Basically, Nomura hinted at where the next arc of the story will go! But I don’t think this is his first time doing this, the artwork with the sora, riku, roxas, namine, kairi, donald, goofy and mickey standing on tall white pillars for KH2 hinted at what we now know as the Final World in KH3. 

What I hope Nomura is doing is carrying over core concepts and ideas he had for versus XIII and adding them to KH! The only reason I hope for this, speculate this might be true is because Versus XIII, like the FF13 Trilogy was dealing heavily with the cycle of life and death(eternal sleep) in accordance to the Fabula Nova Mythos.

Ven’s Chirithy tells Sora in so many words: Dude, every time you come here you raise my anxiety because you are LITERALLY hopping in and out of Limbo like it’s nothing! Like what kind of soul(heart) do you have, to totally disregard teetering between life and death?!

And then Sora’s all like: Don’t you know? I disregard the rules and literally make my own! BTW, I’m totally coming back for you, because we are friends now, okay! I’m this close to being this universe’s jesus, i literally fall down into realms of darkness via golden doors showered with glorious golden light!

Have you accepted your Lord and Savior Jesus!Sora into your life?

Chirithy: I just said don’t bring your sunshine ass back here because if you do, you might actually die! Not just be stuck in purgatory, like really die dude! This is the Final World...FINAL...you DO know what that means, this is like purgatory for lost hearts souls. Because I don’t if I could help you the second time in re-piecing you back together! \TT_TT/

Sora: I’m totally coming back for you! >^.^< 

Chirithy:....He...he’s...a really...sweet kid...yea...a really sweet kid...

...Basically, I feel like The Final World isn’t particularly Heaven, probably more akin to a place of purgatory for lost or wandering hearts(souls) like, you aren’t really dead but you aren’t really alive either.

Because let’s face it, majority of characters in this game, never really truly DIE...not counting a very SELECT FEW...I wouldn’t be surprised if Nomura decides to recon Ephemer’s death later on through some Deus Ex Machina (which is why I don’t bother trying to speculate ANYTHING with this series)

Anyway, i went on a tangent there.....yea I think the Verum Rex game world is the same world on the boxart and I hope it’s a sign that Nomura is going to actually carry over ideas from versus 13 into KH, now that we got basically what amounts to Limbo or heaven depending on how to interpret the Final World, even the hashtag on the instagram post basically says it in so many words. 

The Place where hearts return. And it’ll make sense if the next arc does focus on the thin line between life and death or in KH’s terms...DDD 2.0 >_>

----

So I watched the cutscene with young Eraqus and Xehanort again and noticed that yes, it is being set up for Sora to throw hands against the Foretellers, Luxu!Xigbar and most likely Master of Masters.

And I am so here for it! 

Now the thing I wanna know is...aside from Riku obviously, who is gonna help him out? the new character, Yozora and his crew? Is the gang going to try to find a way to bring he and Riku back?

....Will Kairi really and truly get to do ANYTHING?!

...Just hope it doesn’t take 7plus years to get there to know D:>

Also, also...Nomura, please take your time and construct a better put together story...I will rant long and hard about this later...

But if you HAVE to do that annoying thing where I HAVE to buy a Nintendo Switch to play a few tie in game in between 3 and 4 again..at least I and the rest of the fandom will KNOW THIS TIME, they actually contribute to the overall plot of Kingdom Hearts...because BOY was it never implied the first go round.

#kh3 #kingdom hearts iii #sora #foretellers #master of masters #luxu #you know #i really don't care or mind #if kh4 came out within the next 3yrs on ps4 #i just don't want to go through another decades long dry spell #i mean like #nomura your close to 50 brah #just saying #i don't want to hold kh4 in my hands #another ten years knowing your 60...just saying #i already have slight anxiety over the author of an ice and fire never finishing because of old age...

[angustdtt]

Our last night || Soulmate!AU Pt.2

“What’s the difference between the love of your life and a soulmate?” I asked.

“One is a choice, and one is not”

Word Count: 13k Genre: Angst | Fluff | Romance | Smut Pairing: Reader(She) x Jungkook Triggers: Depression, Mention of suicide, lots of angst tbh, Mature content, Cussing. Gif: AngustD©GIFs

⇻ Playlist   (Playlist Cover thanks to @basicallyadragon  ♡)

Masterlist

Pt1

“Make love to me, Jungkook”

Those words travel the room, reverberating, lingering free and then settling in the silence that took over the room after you let them out. If you are completely honest, after saying them out loud you feel incredibly awkward, and curse the aftertaste they leave in your mouth. Cringy and embarrassed to your core, nevertheless, you remain true to your stance, not taking away your eyes from Jungkook’s, who was absolutely petrified staring at you. Is he not gonna say anything? With each minute that passed the water of your clothes puddle on the floor, and you are starting to get more and more uncomfortable while being there facing each other. You start to fidget a little, now afraid you might have ruined something, yet again.

“Jungkook?” you name him. is he even blinking? you ask yourself, lifting one hand waving it in front of his eyes.   Snapping your fingers, you try to  bring him back to life “Kook!” Finally, you see how his Adam's apple bobs up and down, swallowing visibly. “Kook, listen—” you start, anxious to retract from your words since apparently, they caused the opposite effect on him.

“You are in shock…” he mumbles, making you stare at him.

“Uhm?” you question, raising one eyebrow confused.

“You are in shock...for whatever happened back there.” he gestures behind you, to the bathroom. “Obviously…” he nods rapidly.

“What?, No…” you shake your head, making some of the locks of wet hair on your head stick to your face. You stop and look at him from over your eyebrows, query.  “What do you think happened there though?”

Jungkook flinches his head, looking down to his feet, biting his lips; fear, crossing his face for an instant. He is searching for words, and you know exactly what he is thinking, about what you were doing when he found you.   Leaning down a little, you look for his gaze, but he avoids it, frustrated.

“I’m not suicidal...in case that’s what you are thinking.”

“I wasn't thinking that!” he denies, his eyes still not turning towards you.

“Sure…”

“I wasn't!” he insists.

“Then why aren't you looking at me?” you jeer.

Jungkook scrunches his eyes, then turns to you and opens it back, serious plastered all over his features. “I am looking at you”

“Yeah now!” you complain “Listen, It’s the same...the point is, I was not trying to take my life back there, okay?” you explain, scowling, taking the towel in your hands and placing it above your head beginning to dry your hair.

Jungkook scoffs. Getting up, he kneels next to you “Give me that” he commands, referring to the towel. You give him a stink-eye before but comply, crossing your arms over your chest belittling, letting him help you in the end. Gently, he takes pieces of your hair and shakes them between the fabric. You probably look like a small child giving a tantrum right now, but you don’t care, because you are annoyed at him, for thinking you said those words only because you were having some type of hysteric attack.

The nerve.

But...it’s true that, I was under a considerate amount of water, which flooded a room, so the situation could've been a little open to interpretation.

Your arms began to unfold over your lap.

And that same scenery could make him be absolutely powerless and terrified. Because he cares for me. He always cares.

You start feeling like a fool, at your reaction, and the way you treated him; playing with your fingers, nervously scratching the soft skin around your nails.

And, I’m a little inconsiderate by just...saying...requesting…’ you cringe again ‘that...from him. You take your hands up to your face to cover it.

“y/n?” Jungkook calls, once he sees your actions.

“IMSOSOSORRYFORBEINGSOINCONSIDERATEOFYOURFEELINGSANDIMSUCHAFOOLFORMAKINGYOUWORRYFORMEALLTHETIMEANDIMSORRYTOASKYOUTHATSTUPIDQUESTIONBEFORE” words crash against one another when you spoke them, making it difficult for him to fully understand them.

“I didn't get shit about what you just said”

You whine, your face still covered by your hands. You take a long deep breath, then repeat “I’m sorry...for being inconsiderate and treating you like shit after…”

Jungkook stops rubbing your head with the towel, then sits in front of your again, with his legs crossed, he ‘knocks’ over your hands, so you take them off. You do, looking at him, pouting. “Keep going…” he urges

You look at your feet, feeling small “I’m sorry for acting like a 5-year-old...and I’m sorry for making you worry…”

“And…?”

You breathe in “And I’m sorry for the glitter bomb issue”

“That was you!” he shouts at the confession, “I thought the lady at the store sold me a bath bomb wrong and it fell down by accident!”

You chuckle lightly. “Yeah, no...that was me”

“Poor Clarice...I gave her the silent treatment for weeks…”

You both chuckle.

“And, I’m sorry for saying that—thing I said, " you shiver internally "so bluntly, it was not...appropriate" you are so ashamed of your actions you hide again.

Jungkook blushes, nodding and biting on his lower lip nervously. “It’s all in the past…”

You feel yucky -and not necessarily due to the wet clothes you still have on.

“y/n…” Jungkook starts, answering with a simple “hmm” you let him know you are listening. “The...thing...from before” ‘yuck yuck yuck, ground swallow me up’. You answer with a silent and choked ‘yea?’ but not lifting your chin “Why…” he coughs “well —more like...what— made you say those words?”

Be honest. You advise inwardly.

Taking a deep long breath -filling your lungs with courage- you raise your head to meet Jungkook, determine to explain yourself without hesitation.

“I’m afraid...to lose you, to lose my memories of you.” you conclude.

“Lose memories of me? what do you mean?” he tilts his head, not understanding.

“I mean, loose these—feelings I have” you try to express them with your hands, but remain looking at them, like if they are filled with something nonexistent. “I can’t quite explain it...I just thought, on taking a chance. Because this is the last time I’m gonna be with you Kook.” you look at him, defeated. “Even if we decide not to mention it, or talk about it...It’s happening” your arms envelop your shoulders, trying to provide you with heat and comfort in some way. Jungkook’s features gloom as you let out the unstoppable truth.

“This is our last night together” you conclude.

Jungkook lets out a moan, his feelings too strong to remain hidden any longer. “I know…” he cries out, squeezing his eyes with two fingers but finally failing.  “All day long I've been thinking about it—reflecting, on what really means that you are here with me y/n” he sobs “that... that It means, this is the last time I’m able to see your face because I know what that fucking seal implies, I know th—” scrunching his eyes, he covers them with his hand. Not standing to see him like this, so wreck, broken and so vulnerable, you sprint to hug him tight, wanting to somehow take that heavy burden from his shoulders, wanting to let him know everything will be alright; even if you can’t convince yourself of that.

Jungkook grabs the side of your wet shirt and pulls you down to him, pleadingly.

“I know that us is over…”

You kiss the top of his head, taking in his scent at the same time, internally cursing your tragic fate.

“So, Yes…” he concludes, determined.

You blink, slowly backing away to see his expression. He is looking back at you, fiercely, intensely and resolute.

“Yes, to what?” you furrow your eyebrows, confused.

“Yes—” he takes one of your hands closer to his mouth and kisses the inner side of your wrist.  “I will make love to you…” he finishes, placing your hand on his cheek, melting in your touch.

‘No Jungkook, It’s okay.’ You want to insist, to contradict him in that automatic switch response your mind has. But the truth is you want this, you want him, above all things. So, if life was selfish enough to force you into some bureaucratic pairing system, then you were letting yourself be selfish too ‘just this time’ Gingerly, you place your hands over his shoulders firmly, leaning down, heart bursting inside your chest with each centimeter you inch closer and closer. Jungkook's fierce gaze fixed on your lips, his teeth biting gently on the fleshy lower lip, turning the once soft pink color, into a more intense form of red that screams lust and impatience. First, you press your forehead to his, lips brushing lightly, breathing heavily, the bare sensation of them touching already sending shivers to your nerves, the body already trembling. His itchy, needy and uneven hot breaths teasing you, though this is not his intentions at all, because you know Jungkook enough to realize he probably wants to take his sweet time, be gentle, not rushing any moment the two of you were sharing; but it wasn’t gentleness what you want right now, and this was far from that.   You twist the fabric under your fingers, a silent plea for him to get closer, to put an end to this gap between your mouths. Jungkook without any hesitation lifts the damp fabric of your shirt to claw his hands to the skin of your hips, the sudden sensation making your skin prickle, eliciting a soft moan. The sound must’ve to trigger something deep within him, because before you knew he reaches to bite your lower lip, breaking the distance between your lips. A soft groan, low on his throat telling you how he too, is desperately longing for your kiss. Throughout your life, you read about how characters of books “melt” into each other while kissing, and just now, you understood why; because every square inch of you body dissolves into his. The kiss felt so sensationally overwhelming, your veins and even your heart, throb in delight.   Jungkook’s tongue -before, stroking delicately on your lower lip- now is eagerly pushing between your lips wantonly. You open your mouth allowing him access, meanwhile, your hands are moving from his shoulders to his neck, to the back of his head, fingers gripping his hair, bringing him closer to you, not bearing the distance that separates you from him. Jungkook grunts into the kiss, grip tightening on your waist, urging you to inch closer. Complying you straddle his legs between yours, Jungkook struggles to keep on breathing, and you know it- because so do you, but neither is willing to stop. You body curves into his, and moan into his mouth, deepening the kiss, moving your head in coordination with his movements. Jungkook runs his hands underneath your shirt, traveling his hands up and down your back, the warmth of his fingers digging into your skin telling you just how much he wanted you.

Every kiss before this pales in comparison, making them seem like a merely childish memory. Before, they were slow and soft, but now, this was not that, this was by far something extremely different; It was tender and hungry, shaky and sensual. You once thought about how Jungkook was your first ever kiss, and right now, he would become your last, because there was no way any other being on earth could kiss you and provoke such a reaction in you like he did at this very moment. No fucking magic, no fucking pairing system can be stronger than what you are feeling right now while he touches and carves each curve of your body.

“y/n” he whispers softly, prolonging each letter making them sound like the sweetest liquor. You move from his mouth, ravenously wanting to kiss further places of him,but Jungkook has a plan of his own, because as you are kissing lovingly his cheeks, trailing down to the curve of strong his jaw, he takes the chance to unclasp your bra, moving the straps aside to leave the skin on your back free to his touch. But the shirt is still on his way, whining while grabbing on the hem of your shirt Jungkook searches for your eyes “y/n” he repeats, raggedly.

Giggling at his puppy-eyed face you decide not to tease him with undoing your buttons and grab the hem of the shirt from his hands to take it off. Your breasts bounce, the bra flying away alongside with the shirt you just threw behind you. You recoil, a little embarrassed because the top of your body is naked to him, but that weak feeling is soon gone because one look at Jungkook and you can tell his eyes burn in desire while looking at your chest, boosting your confidence. You chuckle, then go down to place a peck on his lips. Smoothly Jungkook trails one of his hands to the lower part of your chest, shyly gliding his thumb over the soft flesh. Lowering yourself just a smidge, you achieve to make Jungkook hand cup at your breast, inviting him to touch you even more; and he does. His thumb now caresses across the curve, teasing your erect nib. “Yes,” you let out softly, biting back a moan, feeling your arousal grow.  Jungkook cups your breast with his hands, you have yours behind his head, so you take the chance to push him invitingly, encouraging him to kiss there where he was. Jungkook leans forwards kissing the valley between your breasts, the touch of his chapped lips against your warm skin tickling eliciting a soft giggle. You inhale sharply once Jungkook is circling your nipple with the tip of his tongue. Breathing heavily, feeling your wetness rising with each stroke of his tongue. Between your legs you can feel him growing, you found this a tad amusing, but you refrain from laughing, not wanting to kill this lusty mood, so you throw your head backward. Jungkook slides a hand on the side of your neck, you look down, to meet his gaze. “Off with this...” you command between breaths. Jungkook obeys your instructions. His sun-kissed skin displaying again before your eyes, to you delight. With one finger you trail down across his chest, mapping every delicious and sinful curve of it.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous” you whisper. Out from the corner of your eye, you notice how Jungkook looks away, licking his lower lip nervously, obviously abashed by your words. You find that cute about him, how every time you compliment him, he gets all timid. Smirking you take this opportunity to shove one of your hands between his legs, stroking his length above the fabric of his pants. He must be really sensitive, because he bites back a moan, returning to look down at your hand.

“Jungkook…” you mewl, closing your eyes, then leaning to his neck licking and kissing, not stopping your ministrations

“Get up baby..” Jungkook purrs, patting your thighs lightly for you to move

“No” you cry out, hugging him closer, throwing a fake tantrum.

Jungkook chuckles and grins, lifting his chin to meet your eyes “I'm not gonna fuck you on the floor y/n”

The last sentence made you get up in a blink, excitement running all over your body. “Good girl” he teases, looking at your standing figure towering above him.

“Shut up” you spat out, flustered by your rush, but not even that stopping you or even making you slow down because you were already unzipping your bottoms and throwing them away, leaving behind just your underwear on.

“Fuck, you are so wet” Jungkook eyes lock between your thighs. Okay, now this was a tiny bit embarrassing, but hey...it was his fault you were like this.

“Oh my god Jungkook, can you like, not narrate for me, please? I already know what’s going on” you scold, rolling your eyes. “You’re one to talk though” you counter, pointing at the bulge behind his zipper.

“Oh, this?” He says amuse, grinning then winking at you “He is excited too”

You grimace cringe by his words “ Ew, no...fuck this...I’m dry again...bye” you blurt out, turning to leave.

Swiftly Jungkook gets up from the floor and grabs your wrist turning you to him again “come here you nerd…” he chuckled, and you couldn't help but join him.

“You’re the nerd…” you growl, grabbing the hem of his shirt-Impatient. Pulling from the waistband of his jeans up, you reach for the button and start to twist it open, to then unzip his pants. “Jungkook…” you purr again. His strong and gentle hand cup your face, placing a sweet kiss on your lips. “Get on the bed, nerd” he whispers to your ear. You back up until the back of your knees touch the mattress. You sit down, Jungkook leans with you as well,  not breaking the kiss. Finally, he separates from you, licking his lips devilishly. Skilfully you undo his jeans with a quick flick of your wrist, winning a simple “wow” from him. He gets rid of the clothes, letting them pool over the floor, now only leaving him on his boxers, then kicking them away so he won’t trip and fall.

He leans again hovering above you, one of his arms supporting his weight, his knees gets in between yours, parting the anticipation building up at your center. Jungkook catches your lips and slides one hand caressing lovingly down on your skin, and there it came, the pressure of a warm hand clasping your sex behind your panties, fingers slipping inside you. His thumb rub around a sweet spot and your eyes roll back into your head. “God Jungkook” you let out, clutching his wrist on the spot. Jungkook gloating next to you.

"So wet ..." he moans into the crook of your neck, lascivious, making you feel completely vulnerable under his touch while he keeps on circling your clit. You begin to moan, his doings fastening in pace, you feel a bit coy about how fast you were reaching your peak merely just by feeling his hands work with you.

“Jungkook I-” you start, warning him, but he is deaf to your claims because with a grunt Jungkook buries his face on the curve of your neck pressing harder and merciless on your swollen clit. Shock waves of fire explode all over, turning you limp against the bed, legs shivering after reaching your orgasm.

Jungkook removes his hand and takes it closer to his eyes to inspect it.

“I never took you to be this sensitive y/n, I barely touched you” he brags, a devilish grin on his face. You want to say something back, but you feel weak, it was still a mystery why, ney, how you came undone so fast since this wasn’t the first time you had an orgasm -though, the only person who gave it was you- but you are not complaining about the results. Jungkook licks his hand, tasting you, licking his lips after, a lewd action, that makes you tremble. “So sweet” Jungkook muses, his tone deep and fill with lust.

You lift one of your legs and wrap it around his waist to give yourself a boost, with a hand on his chest you push him back, making him lay on the bed while you straddle him. You aren't sure, but up until now, you did not become conscious that this all came extremely natural to you both. This was the first time for both. Yet you move in complete harmony with each other, not a second of hesitation. Like you knew what the other will do. The realization is invigorating.  

“My turn…” you coo, aligning your center with his, the curve of his shaft -trapped behind the thin fabric of his underwear, visible. Slowly you begin to roll your hips above him, you moves lethargical but sensual. Jungkook closes his eyes and bites his lower lip, placing his hands over your tights, a soft grunt coming out. His chest flushing red, as you continue to sway your hips around him, side to side. Even between the two fabrics, you can feel how his cock is pulsating, and how hard it is, putting the exact amount of pressure on your sensitive clit to make you cum again if you want to, just by riding him. You go one step further, without completely stopping your movements, you slide a hand down to the band of his boxers, bringing it down enough that the tip of his cock is peeking out; it was hot, red and swollen with a drop forming at the tip. You touch him, spreading the leak around the tip, but a hand stops you. You look up to meet Jungkook’s gaze, who apparently is running out of breath, sweat dripping down his temples, making some of his locks stick to his forehead. You blink twice, looking at his grip on you. Smugly you twist your lip upwards “So I’m the sensitive one huh?” you tease him, nudging a little from the fabric of his boxers enough to make it rub between the two of you and cause friction. Jungkook jolts, his cheeks red and lips into a thin line, visibly trying his best to resist your teasing.

“Fuck, fine yes I am too, now please stop…” Jungkook pleads.

You laugh, lowering yourself to kiss his chest. “Only because you asked nicely, dweeb”

Jungkook grabs your ass and squeezes it, giving it a little smack. “It’s your fault missy” he scolds playfully. “If you weren’t so fucking hot, I wouldn’t be a mess…” Jungkook adds, smiling.

“You should see your face mister, all riled up under me…” you state, licking around his nipples “I wish I had a camera to show you, Just-” peck. “ how-” peck. “absolutely” peck. “hopeless” peck. “you look”  between peppered kisses, you tell him.

“Come here…”Jungkook invites you with a gesture of his hands, telling you to get next to him. You get off from him and rest on your side, looking at him. It was intimate, and absolutely breathtaking how his eyes glisten every time he stares at you. He touches you again, this time with his index finger, contouring your face; your jaw, your nose, your lips, your eyes. And you do the same with him, carving him onto your memory.

Jungkook kisses your forehead, stealing your breath and then giving it back. His gentle gestures never going unnoticed by you. You want him forever, his laugh, his stupid necessity to compete with everyone, his timid side, his rough and masculine side, his jokes, his tears...absolutely everything. You want the good and the bad. This is how it had always been, you think, only touching, nothing more; except for now, when you want nothing more than to touch him where you never did before.

You close your eyes letting your body fly under his silk touch, but his voice brings you back “Baby...don’t sleep on me yet…” he sings, softly. “Okay…” you answer. Jungkook lifts his body, moving to open you legs once again with his knee, placing himself there in between. He grabs the side of the panties, and gestures for you to help him get them off, and you do. The flimsy fabric falls onto the floor, leaving you exposed completely to him. Jungkook takes off his boxers too, letting his hardened length out, bouncing shortly, your mouth almost drooling at the sight of him. You spread your legs, cold air brushes along your core, making you twitch in response. You were still wet enough. Jungkook leans placing one arm on your sides, supporting his weight so he won’t crash on top of you, both your chest press together, your nipples and his grazing against one another. Jungkook looks at you, this time a little nervous on his actions unlike before. You probe with your hand, searching for his cock, placing it at your entrance.  Your mouth opens “Yes, do it”

Jungkook nods “y/n, If I’m hurting you, you have to tell me. Okay?” he assures, waiting for your reply.

“Yes, yes, please…” you beg, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist.

Jungkook breaths sharply, pushing himself onto you, a weird and uncomfortable sensation at first, you clench a little without noticing and Jungkook grunts “Relax…” he whispers, tilting his chin up to kiss you. The melting sensation sweeps on your body again, a sharp brief pain rippling throw making you let out a small screech.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” he asks concern, starting to move away from you.

“No no!” you cry out, holding him in position with your legs.

He stumbles and pushes further inside, provoking a grunt  “Oh my Fuu-” his words slithering in pleasure

You whine, a delicious ache settling at the pit of your stomach, something you never experienced before, not even by our own doings. You feel so incredibly full it’s hard to breathe, your whole body curving up by itself against his.

“You’re so tight” he purrs, breathing heavily against your ear.

“Jungkook…move” you demand, your voice erotically low.

Jungkook growls, first pumping gently inside of you, slow and rhythmical, both adjusting to the new feeling.He catches your lips again before opening your mouth with his tongue. Jungkook whispers against your mouth “I don’t want neither of us to forget this night” You moan and pull his body down tightly, welcoming into moving faster inside you. He is grinding against you, his pace steadier and precise, hitting you right where you want him. Your mouth open, moaning in pleasure “N-Never” you answer him, stuttering. Your legs force him to push himself closer to you, and he obeys, rubbing himself fully against you, friction added to your sensitive sex. You feel close to your high, and by the way, his cock throbs inside you, you know he is as well. “Faster” you whine, wanting to reach that sweet release. He raises an amused eyebrow chuckling at your impatience, you can see the veins of his arms growing and pulsating, and his Adam's apple bobbing, swallowing hard. He rocks into you with a low and raspy growl, this time he is rougher, his moves send electricity through your spine “Yes, so good” you bite back, choking a moan. Jungkook grunts, his animalistic eyes locked on you, and yours, rolling to the back of your head in absolute pleasure. And then a sweet spasm splits through you. No more pain. No more worries. Just the sweetness.

26 hours.

The ringtone of your phone wakes you up the next morning. It sounded distant but you still recognized it. Opening your eyes you are greeted with some streams of sunlight coming from the wide window of Jungkook’s apartment. You are lying on your side, arms stretched hanging outside the bed. You feel the corner of your mouth sticky, with some drops of droll, sign of a profound and fulfilled night of sleep. Your brain is still in a haze, so you have to blink several times to open them completely.   Smiling widely the memories of last night invaded you, but they have mixed also with the bathtub situation and it all made you cringe. Wow what an idiot. Shaking them off, and not letting them stain the precious memory of your night, you turn around but find a foreign weight at the height of your waist that prevents you from moving. You lift your arm to see that Jungkook’s head is resting right over the curve of your hip, lips scrunched in a pout, his hot cheek pressing against your hip, his hair is a mess, face puffy, lost in dreams of who knows what, peacefully still asleep. He looks absolutely breathtaking, and his even breaths tickle your skin so you can’t help but to smile and giggle at this lovely picture. Kindly you boop his nose with your index finger, holding in your laugh, but Jungkook’s not reacting. Once again you boop him, but this time the middle of his eyebrows slightly harder, this time Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows and grunted, but he wasn’t nearly as close to being awake, man this boy was a heavy sleeper. Down on the first floor, you hear your phone again. Despite being terribly soften by this situation and at the sight of Jungkook's beautiful sleeping features, you slowly moved away, shimmying from under him careful that his head didn't make a whiplash. Once you’re out of bed, you take the big hoodie of Jungkook that's on the floor,  you also grab your own jeans, but they being still a little wet, you choose to take his jeans instead covering your naked body. The phone goes off and rings again so now you assume it’s you mom calling to check on you. Walking down the stairs heading to where your jacket and bag are. Taking off the phone you see it's nearly 11 AM. You then unlock the screen and press the callback symbol of the contact list. Your mom answers on the other side.

“Hey sweetie~” She sings, jolly “Good morning! Did I wake up?”

You chuckle, voice raspy with sleep.“Like if that wasn’t your original intention, mom” you say rolling your eyes, amuse.

“I just thought maybe your alarm was off and try to help. You always get grumpy If you wake up late and miss class or study time.”  

“True…” you agree.

“So how is that study?” she asks.

“I’ve been lazing around, to be honest” you answer, automatically.

“Hmm? I thought you were studying yesterday?” She inquires, confused.

Shit. “Oh... no yes, well—it was more like revision.” you lie, expertly.

“I see...what subject?”

You blank out. “Um...philosophy”

“You had a test already, you have another?”

“More of a report…” you lie again.

You mom stays silent on the other line, and you wonder if you sounded too fake and she discovered you weren’t studying. It actually didn’t matter whether you are studying or not, since you are familiar with your responsibilities, but you still had this remains of having to justify yourself to her.

“Okay!” she finally replies “So, I was thinking of giving you a little surprise and go to the apartment to cook you something and chat, since you probably only live on take-out”

You chuckle at how well she knows you are an absolute mess when it comes to cooking, but the other side of the phrase didn't go missing, she wanted to visit you.  

“Uhhh, emm—” you stutter.

“Oh!” your mom interrupts, obviously aware of your mumbling “Wait, can I visit? Are you going out with friends today? Or Jungkook?. It’s okay I can go another day, don’t worry, pumpkin” she keeps on talking.

Actually yes, I’m spending this last moment before going to meet my soulmate with him, mom, I’ll have to take a raincheck with you.  That’s what you wanted to answer but couldn’t bring yourself to do so. There was still some hours you could spend with him and you do not want to leave until it’s absolutely imperative. But also, you had to tell your mom about the letter, you couldn't just appear out of nowhere with the “hey, mom dad- this is my soulmate!”

“y/n?” She calls at you.

You must tell her.

“Mmm?”

“You doze off on me…” she chuckles.

“Yeah, ha ha “You answer, without much emotion.

“Is all okay, pumpkin?” she asks.

“No” you answer, blunt.

“No? What happened?” your mom inquires, concerned.

You swallow and bite your lower lip harshly, making you hurt. “Mom…” you start, but words caught in your throat.

She waits silently on the other side of the line.

“Mom—I got my letter” you finally spit out. And there is no need for a further explanation because everyone knows what those words mean, those simple yet heavy words.

“When?” She asks, calmly.

“Yesterday...about midday” you reply, apathetic.

“So, 24 hours…” she ponders. Is that a countdown?

“Yep”

“Why didn’t you say so before?”

“I don’t know…” you shrug, not wanting to hurt her feelings, when in all truth what you wanted was to be here with Kook.

“You are at Jungkook’s” she stated, and you blinked baffled at her guessing, You remained silent though, only affirming her that you were in fact there. “That’s good...you should spend some time together”

“What do you mean?” you tilted your head and furrowed your eyebrows.

“I mean- and don’t take this the wrong way- I know how you feel for that boy” she speaks, softly, almost empathic. “And I know how he feels about you, It’s natural you would want to spend this time with him, I understand” you can almost see her smile on the other line.

“You know?”

“Mhm… Was I once a teenager too you know? I wasn’t always a mom” she laughs.

“Yeah, but what do you mean, you understand?”

“Well, I had a boyfriend before I met your father…” she explained. And you opened your mouth wide.

“W H A T?” you scream at the phone, not believing.

“Jesus Christ, hush... yes y/n, I had a boyfriend...and we were quite close,” she tells you.

“Why didn’t I know of this?!” you scold her.

“Because I didn’t think it was necessary...you were quite alien to any of this dating stage when you were younger, so I just...let it passed by. And one day you brought Jungkook home, and you looked so happy and alive. And I wasn’t gonna bum you out with a heartbreaking story of two people who are torn by the Sigil.”

“Torn?” you asked.

“Yes baby, He and me... we were so close and complimented each other so much, we thought...maybe we were soulmates,” She tells you, sadness tainting her voice.

“And then?” intrigued, you supported your weight on the wall.

“Then—he got his letter...and I didn’t” she sights. “Two years or so later I received mine, and the rest is history.”

“But-but mom, how did you even dealt with that? Didn’t your whole world collapse? How did you find your strength?” once again, questions filled your mind, uneasiness and fear were present too.

“I didn’t…”

“What?”

“I didn’t, my world collapsed, and I was still in that state until even before I got the letter, I even tried to come up with some reasons for my misery ‘maybe they got it wrong’ ‘maybe I should ask for them to revise the system’ but of course it was all silly…” she continues.

You listen carefully to her, and finally, you decide to let out all these emotions that are only eating you, because you think she might understand just a little what you’re going through “Mom, I’m...scared. I don’t know what will happen” you confessed, choking a little.

“It’s normal, pumpkin. .It’s the way life works, baby. I was too...we all are, at least those who love unconditionally like us, those who find strength in another and lose it. But you have to find it in yourself now, that’s the only way you can cope” she tries to comfort you.

“It fucking sucks…”

She chuckles, lightly. “Maybe, for some time.But I do love your father, unconditionally and entirely, and I love you, pumpkin. You are scared, and it’s totally understandable, but...you have to be grateful to have met someone who made you so incredibly strong you found yourself in him, but also unbelievable weak, you also lost yourself. It’s a lame phrase but...It’s better to have loved and lost than to never love again”

Tears were rolling down your cheeks, and you found you were biting your nails while you mom spoke to you. She was right at some point, no matter how much you want to deny your reality, is there.

“You will never love someone like you love him. But you will love someone differently now...It’s hard to explain, but you’ll understand once you are in front of it.”

“And I rip the letter, got it…” you finish, bitterly.

“You will understand…” she finishes. “Should we go with you to the Center? I can tell your father to drive us there”

“We’ll see...I need to think about it okay?”

“Okay, take care sweetie…”

“Bye, mom.” you hang up.

You remain there, staring down at your phone, the screen showing you the hour, reminding you, there is still one more day left. 24 hours. The call with your mom just let you even more confused, even though you know her intentions with telling you her own story - a little late, in your opinion- tried to be comforting. She told you that staying with Jungkook would be a smart and understandable decision, but was it tho? Aren’t you two just prolonging the suffering you two will endure later on? Isn’t it better to just cut the deal right now? You stare down and see your bag on the floor.

Should I go?

You blankly crouch next to it, grabbing it by the handle.

Yes, yes I should.

I should’ve never come.

You glance sideways, at the entrance door.

I should’ve stayed alone until this day came.

I should’ve minded my own business.

I should’ve stayed away from this.

I should’ve never fall in love.

You stand up violently, breathing out rapidly anxiety kicking in, you need to get out, you need to go right now. Almost stepping out the door, you hear something inside the bag that rumbles. The object takes you out of this escapade trance, and you thank it for interrupting, because you can’t afford to be a coward now, and you certainly can’t leave him, because he is suffering just as much as you, and by what your mom told you, he will even more. You close the door, slapping your face due to that pessimist and a weak moment you had when re-entering the apartment. You wonder if Jungkook may be alarmed by the sound of the door, but since he hasn’t shown up yet, you assume he is still in deep sleep. Leaving the bad down again, you open the zip to check on this object that sounded before, and you see it, the wood box; ‘out of here’

“If only” you reply while reading over the letters.  

You take the little box between both your hand, cradling it, triggering tons of memories that concerned the box. One, in particular, stands out over the rest.

“I’m not gonna recommend or give any of my books until you return the ones you already have Jeon Jungkook!” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Wow, full name! You must’ve been really serious”

“DEAD serious you prick!, I’m done lending you precious belongings if you are not ever gonna read or give them back!”

“I will!” He rolled his eyes, playing with the decorations that hang over your desk.

“Then bring my babies to me again, and then we can talk business” you spit at him, returning to the work you were typing, the laptop warming your tights.

Jungkook clicks his tongue, a little annoyed by the fact you refuse to give him a hand with his report. He had come to you searching for help, he needed to present a report on some type of science fiction book that displayed a parallelism with the modern world, that could be taken as some type of foreshadowing if you like. And being the bookworm you always were, it was more than delightful being able of telling him all types of book and authors of science fiction that have the specifications his paper required, yet, he also asked for the actual book -that of course, you had- but yet you refuse to lend.

“My science fiction books are my favorites, and you already have two of them” you tilted your head, not looking up, typing away on the keys.

“Huh? Which one?”

“Fahrenheit 451 and Brave New World!” you let out, not believing he didn’t remember them.

“Oh those, yeah...they are pretty boring” he shrugged.

“How dare you talk like that about Ray and Aldous” you squint your eyes, shaking your head.

“Who?” He asked.

You dedicated the neutral face of displeasure “Unbelievable…”

Jungkook shrugs, walking around the room, his steps and your fingers tickling fast the only sound that separated from the silence. He scans the room, of course heading to the small library shelf where all your books were- and boy they were a lot. Silently, he read some titles mouthing the words, and gently caressed the book spine.

“I don’t have much time to read” he whispered, flinching his head.

"Why is that?" You asked, more than anything to keep the conversation going.

“I got a job…” he announced, his eyes still trailing over the books.

“You, what?” asked, looking up from the screen to him.

“Yep...a Job, me...Jeon Jungkook.” he laughed, awkwardly.

“That’s great thought!” You exclaimed, smiling at him. “Wait, did your parents cut off your income?” you inquired. Jungkook had a pretty well economically established family that sends money to him until he finishes his career, which means, Jungkook has enough time to properly study and get good grades, without the need of work to sustain himself.

“...No” He replied.

“Then, why you applied for a job?” you grimace, curious. “I mean, It’s great you have one, but what about your studies? You still have time for doing both?”

Jungkook licked his lips, pacing around the room once again, he pursed his lips into a thin line and tapped repeatedly over the floor, obviously pondering on what to answer you. On your bed, you stopped typing waiting for him to answer, a little uneasy about his rumination. Jungkook looked over your desk, and slowly approached to it once again, hovering his index finger above it, then magnetically placing it over a little wooden box that was lost between the mess of your night of study and research papers,the little box he had given you, not two weeks ago as a present. At first you didn’t understand what it meant, or why he was being so mysterious about it all, but finally, when he locked his gaze with you not taking his finger off the box you finally got what he meant.

“No way, dude, no” you denied, closing the laptop and placing it aside. “You are not gonna get a job, only so you can only put more money on my trip box.”

“Why?”

“Because I know your true intentions! You are not gonna waste blood and sweat only so I can get to my goal of traveling Jeon Jungkook…” you argued, jumping off the bed and placing in front of him.

“Don’t be so full of yourself y/n” Jungkook rolled his eyes, sitting down on the chair in front of your desk with a huff.

“I will not let you” you warned.

Jungkook sizzled and appears to be annoyed by your words. “First, y/n…. I am my own person and I can do whatever I want with the money I earned…” he looks up at you, visibly angry “And second, the job money is not for you…” he looks down, his features softening.

“Then why did you pointed at my box?”

Jungkook coughs and scratches his nose, sniffing, not looking at you. “…” he is blank for a  moment, tapping nervously again, sighting and scrunching his eyes. You look over to the small wood box again, finally understanding what he wanted. Jungkook looked up to you  “This—job money isn’t for you…The money is for us…”

You were taken aback by his words “Us?” you repeated.

“Yes, Us…” he looked down again, his cheeks flushing red. “I want us to do travel together, when we have the money, of course.”

“Why?” you asked, innocently, thinking on why he would want to get a job for that. Jungkook flinched at the question, probably taking your query wrongly.

“Is okay If you don’t want me to go, I shouldn’t have meddl—” he started, scratching his head.

“No no! I mean...why you got a job for that?”

Jungkook looked at the box, a light smile on his face “Well, because I wanted to put hard earned money in there. Like you do and not with my parent's money.” He chuckled softly, then looked up, his big and flickering eyes staring back at you.  “I want to really work for it to happen…”

Your heart starts to pump fast, and a sensation of pride and joy pang's on your chest. Incredibly overwhelmed and touched by him, you felt moved by the reasons he had for taking the job. Jungkook didn’t want to give you your dreams, he wanted to help you, with his own efforts and struggle to make them come true, and also, he wanted to join you. He could’ve asked his family for the money, even for the both if he wanted, but no, that wouldn't mean to solve the obstacle, when in reality...he wanted to endure the battle to the achieve the goal; with you.

You are grateful for that in the extreme, and you show it to him by sitting on his lap and filling him with kisses; gladly, Jungkook embraces you closer and takes your kind display of affection.

Looking back at it, you think maybe that’s the exact moment when you fell in love with him. With that someone who completes you, not by being the perfect him; but by being the perfect him that he can strive to be.

“Jungkook…” you whisper softly, standing next to the bed. Jungkook was still sleeping and didn’t look like waking up any given moment. Grunting, he ignores you and turns around. You roll your eyes, but don’t give up and go around the bed to face him again “Kook!” you shake him by the shoulder, his body swaying flaccid, like jelly. “C’mon, I’m hungry...let’s have breakfast” you coo, trying to tempt him with food, but he gives no sign to have to listen to you and keeps snoring softly, his mouth agape. “Jungkoook!” you whine, poking his cheek with your index finger. Jungkook swiftly grabs your finger taking you by surprise, eliciting a little squeak out of you, and gives it a little peck, then intertwines his fingers with yours and places them both under his head “Five more minutes, love” he sighs.

“You never do five more minutes Kook” you chuckle.

“Time It’s is relative” he shrugs, smiling with his eyes still closed.

“Don’t quote Einstein on me, bruh”

“Who?” he opens one eye, lifting his eyebrow.

“Are you kiddi—” “Shut up,nerd…” he interrupts you, before you even have time to lecture him. “I know who he is—Is that guy from the facebook movie right? 

“That’s eisenberg!” you shout, removing the hand he is holding under his head, to start poking his stomach scolding him, and forcing him to open his eyes fully.

“Okay! Alright alright! Take a chill pill I know the difference” he sits on the edge of the bed, squeezing his eyes with his fingers. “I didn’t endure that lame movie so that I can’t remember the fella, geez”

“Damn right! Now feed me, punk!” you roar.

“I need a bath first, I feel sticky…”

You punch his arm “EW, DON’T SAY IT LIKE THAT!” shivering at his phrase.

“I MEAN BECAUSE I SWEAT A LOT AT NIGHT, PLEASE STOP YOUR DIRTY MIND Y/N” Jungkook counters, stroking his redden arm.

“IT’S NOT ME! YOU ARE USING YOUR VOCABULARY WRONGLY” you shout at him.

“FINE, I NEED A BATH CAUSE I FEEL MOIST!”

“NO THAT’S ALSO BAD!”

“Stop screaming!” Jungkook grabs his ears, chuckling. “I just need a bath, and then we can have breakfast, alright?” Jungkook stands up, and walks around the bed, he inspects the clothes on the floor and picks them up “We also should probably wash these” he points out, grabbing your damp shirt and then a much more feebly fabric that he dangles while he smirks “And we definitely need to wash these” You are looking for something to throw at him, but he still continues “These panties much be very, very sticky…”

“STOP BEING LIKE THIS!” you squeal while throwing a pillow his way.

Jungkook laughs wholeheartedly. “Fine, fine, I’ll stop…”

“Thank you…” you reply.

“But only If you come to the shower with me…”

You blink twice “Eh?”

“Ya heard me, come take a bath with me, or I have a bunch of other cringe words to spill” Jungkook challenges.

“You wouldn’t…”

“Oh yeah?...” Jungkook’s jaw clenches and purses his lips to take action “Bulbous...Juices...Ointment” he starts listing, but you shiver almost to the verge of convulsion and quickly get up and follow him, pleading to stop.

25 hours.

After a long and revitalizing shower,-that actually turned into some type of water war. you were finally at the coffee table in the living room waiting for Jungkook to bring on the well-deserved breakfast, you could smell he made some pancakes (probably pre-made), and the sweet, sweet scent of coffee. Whistling Jungkook comes with a tray full of the goodies you are being treated with and must admit that the menu for the breakfast leaves you perplexed. Not only there is pancakes and coffee, but you also see some toasts and scramble eggs on top, fresh orange juice and a smaller glass of cold water. Carefully Jungkook leaves all the different plates in front of you, and he even adds as a small decoration, a small and pretty yellow flower inside of a shot glass.

“Wow, Mr. Jeon...A lady is impressed” you admit, pleasingly surprised

“Only the best for M’Lady” he bows, gallantly.

“I thought you couldn’t cook” you argue, taking the orange juice and having a sip of it, as you expected by the look of it, it was sweet and fresh, and it made you feel refreshed.

“I can do toast and juice y/n…” he sighs, rolling his eyes. “Otherwise I would’ve died by now”

“I know for a fact you can subsist of only pizza” you point out.

“That’s true, but I didn’t get this body by only eating carbs” he brags, flexing his arm while grabbing one of the pancakes and taking a bite from it.

“True...” you chuckle.

24 hours.

Jungkook is upstairs, taking a call, you can hear the mumbling and the sound of an occurrent chuckle. Taking a deep breath, you stare at the small wooden box that you are holding between your hands. You resolved to give him all of the box content, in hopes Jungkook can follow that dream both once had after you inevitably march to the ‘Pairing Center’. A small part of you wants to hang on to it, mostly because the box was a shared belonging and you didn't want to lose it just yet. But no, you needed to give the money to him, because you thought it was fair for him to still get a chance to fulfill this goal, even if you couldn't make it, after all, his money was inside as well. You take a sit on the couch of the living room, leaving the little box over the coffee table you had breakfast before.

“Sorry, I had to take this” Jungkook apologizes, walking down the stairs

“No problem, who was it?”

“A friend with whom I’m doing an assignment” he comments, reaching the end of the stairs, walking to sit next to you, with a half smile

You nod “Do I know him?”

“Ahh, I don’t think so...Min Yoongi?” Jungkook squints his eyes and tilts his head.

“Nop, it doesn’t ring any bell…” you shrug.

“Anyway, what shall we do next? Movies? Games? Another shower?” he wiggles his eyebrows at the last statement.

You elbow him lightly “No,” you say, smiling it at his immatureness “I want to talk to you actually”

“That sounds serious…”

“It is.” you half smile, sadness tainting your features.

“What is it?” Jungkook queries, his voice dropping low.

“I want to give you something” you start, leaning towards the box and holding it in your hands.

Jungkook’s gaze drops to the box in recognition, looking a little strange as to why you have it.

“You already know this box, of course,” you gulp, feeling your throat dry.

He nods, his eyes fixated on the object.

“Well, I want to give this box—to you, in hopes you can achieve our goal of traveling” you add.

You stretch your arms to him, offering the box for him to grab. Reluctantly, Jungkook takes it from you, his eyes scrutinizing it, turning it around between his hands until finally the legend that read ‘out of here’ is facing him; With his thumb, Jungkook travels the words and clenches his jaw. You look at him silently, but Jungkook remains there, blankly staring at it for the longest of times. Getting a little anxious you fidget with your feet, waiting for any word that can come out of his lips, a ‘thank you’ a ‘cool mate’ or a ‘noice’ but you only are found with this awkward, tense and silent moment. Finally, you decide to break the tension and speak up, but as soon as your mouth opens, he interrupts you; and what comes out is nothing even remotely close to thank you.

“What the fuck is this?” Jungkook spits, his voice enrages, taking the box and placing it in front of your face.

You are taken aback by the outburst, and end up stuttering the words “I-Is the b-box we—”

“No” he cuts you off, looking up to you “No, What the fuck is this y/n?” he repeats, tilting his head, eyes burning in frustration.

You gulp, shrinking on the spot. “It’s the trip money”

“So, why are you giving it to me?” he inquires, his voice still angry.

“Because I want you to go and travel, even If—”

“Even If you leave forever, wow y/n” Jungkook smiles skeptical, resting on the couch.

“I don’t understand, why are you mad?” you argue.

Jungkook mouth goes agape, his expression unbelieving “Are you for real right now?”

Okay, now you are irritated. “I am being for real, please do enlighten me” you mock, sardonically.

“You know what this means right now y/n?” he taunts, placing the box down on the table with an audible ‘bam’. “This right here means ‘Bye Jungkook, so long and hope you have a good life’ “ he barks.

“What? You’re reading it wrong…” you wave a hand and roll your eyes, turning your back.

“Or am I?, Then what the fuck does it really mean that you give me the money we both were saving for a trip we were going to take together huh?”

“I just thought on giving it to you so you can go Jungkook, it’s not a big deal”

“It’s not?!” he shouts, making you flinch, his jaw clenching making the veins of his neck pop. “This y/n,” he points down to the box “This right here is the embodiment of our relationship”

You look at the box, and then at him.

“It is! Even if you want to deny it, or make it believe whatever the fuck you want to call it, this is us…” he gestures to the box “And you, are practically throwing all the struggle and effort we put into raising money to travel, to me”

“Jungkoo—”

“No, you are! Because this means, so long ‘so long and goodbye‘ for me.”

“You are overth—” you try to speak, but he keeps on going, his blood boiling with hurt by your actions.

“Can you please shut up and listen?” Jungkook growls. “Because you are not quite understanding.”

“I will not shut up! because you are not letting me explain” you argue, raising your voice a tad. “ I want to give this to you because If anyone of us can fulfill this dream is you since I can’t.”

Jungkook nods “You’re such a drama queen, all the time…” he scoffs.

“Excuse me?”

“You are! Are you even listening or thinking what you’re saying?”

“What am I saying Jungkook?” you roll your eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me” he scrunches his eyebrows displeased “You are saying that you will be leaving, and you want to be ‘kind’ by romanticizing the trip we could never make.” he pretends to acts, mockingly. “How can you even think I could make this trip without you? Do you think I would enjoy it? Being alone, and thinking that the reason for me to be anywhere is that you are now with your soulmate? Do you really think I could ever do that? Enjoy the fact you are no longer beside me? Enjoy the fact you got rid of me? You know, you are not the only one that is hurting right now” he says, poison filling each word.

“Got rid of you? Are you for real now?”

Jungkook crosses his arms and bites his lip, looking away from you.

“Do you think I am leaving willingly? That I have another choice?” you tilt your head to meet his eyes, but he keeps them away. “Do you think I rejoice at this enterprise of assigning? Huh? That I’m somehow some evil bitch that wanted you only for a fragment of time to later throw you away like trash and washing my hands before meeting my fucking soulmate?” your cheeks are red in rage, and your chest heaves unevenly, your breath hitching before keeping up with the river of defiance to his claims.”Why would anyone want a half a shared soul? I want my own goddamn soul! I want to choose whoever I want to fall in love with, and whoever I want to spend the rest of my life with! This is not something I took part of Jeon Jungkook, and I cannot believe you even can say those words to me like if they were true, like if you meant nothing in my life, or that you would never mean!” Once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in stream sliding down your cheeks.

The blurry image before you is of Jungkook, eyes shut harshly, and his chin trembling with anguish he sobs are stifled at first in a feeble attempt to hide his grief, the wave of his emotions overcome him in the end, breaking down entirely. Jungkook doesn’t turn his face to you, instead, he turns around with his back facing you, in a last attempt to hide his bare self; the picture before you is of loss, devastation. His body flinching up and down, while his defenses wash away in those salty tears. It was the face of one who suffers, and you only blame yourself for it. The walls that hold you up, make you strong just... collapse; moment by moment. You run, you run past him, your lashes heavy with tears make it difficult for you to see but you can’t help to dash away from it, from the pain and suffering you had cause him, you caused both. Sprinting to the door, you grab the belonging near it and open it to the outside, then slam it close, you don't look back, you don't look back to see his tortured figured because you can't bare to. The elevator is on the floor and you don’t hesitate on hopping inside, you press your forehead against the door, then the sobs take over and ripple through your bones and guts. Your heart-yanking hard on your chest, threatening to explode and break. You had broken his heart, and he had broken yours. How traitor fate can be sometimes, how dark and mockingly it can treat you. You didn’t care who saw. You just broke down, hollow. Life crumbling around you. You reach the ground floor and open the door, remembering you can’t open the front door, but in time as you step outside the metal box a male figure enters the building and you shout “Hold it open!” the strangers baffled by your gaunt looks stays in place with the door wide open for you. “Alright” he simply replies, looking at you up and down. You ignore it and lurch yourself out the building, heading down to the bus stop that leaves you back at your apartment.

So stupid, so stupid you curse yourself.

Once you reach the stop you pry open the bag and look for your student card to pay for the bus, tears only difficulting the task. And then you see it. The blue sealed envelope. The one fragile thing that ruined forever your life and your spirit.

You take it in one hand and look at it, but as much as you try to hold it in, the pain comes out like an uproar from your throat in the form of a silent scream. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. Not until the sobs drive you to your knees did your gaze fall.

I want my own soul! you cry. and cry again. Your hands covering your face, while desolating tears stain the envelope. You hear the bus stop, but you are unable to look up. You know you probably look like a disgusting wreck of a human being right now. But that’s what you are. You are hurt and feel lonely, unable to control yourself, because you had just lost the only thing that matters to you forever, the only thing that truly made you happy and full, the only thing you can’t never, ever have by your side.

Stupid, Stupid.

Thereupon a heavy pressure weights over your shoulders and you believe it's the pressure of all your mistakes, of all your bad decisions coming to crush you underneath them, but this heavyweight instead lifts your up, and you rise to your feet. Jungkook hugs you and hides his face, sobbing into your neck unceasingly, his warm tears sliding down your skin. You wrap your arms around him and wail, then the pain comes in waves as you are pressed against each other, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses to recover breaths, your hands clutching at his shirt. You hold him in silence, rocking him slowly as his tears soaked you.

“You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, y/n” Jungkook cries, not separating from you.

“You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, Jungkook” you repeat, with the same emotion.

“Please don’t go, please don’t leave me yet” he sobs, taking one step behind to stare into your eyes and cup at your face, his bloodshot eyes glistening.

“I won’t, I won’t” you affirm, caressing his hands. “Let’s go home,” you tell him, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

Jungkook nods softly, returning your kiss.

You are back at the apartment, the rest of the hours go without saying much, Jungkook and you cuddle in the sofa and watch a long movie, but you bypass the plot of the story, instead concentrating on Jungkook’s breathing, on his scent, on the touch of his hand on you, on the feeling of his body next to you, how vulnerable you feel right now, but how complete you feel as well. 

Words are no longer necessary, so neither of you speak them.

18 hours.

Jungkook brings a book, asking you to read a little of it and you do, is a passage of a new book you never saw, or lend to Jungkook. Is a book you once mentioned to him, a long time ago when you were both having chicken and beer outside after Jungkook had passed and exam. You thought he was way too gone to remember it, or way too uninterested.

“Nicholas Sparks…” you read the cover, surprised.

Jungkook sits next to you, nodding with a half smile. “Yeah” he replies.

You a cough, take a deep breath, then start reading over the pencil marked quote.  “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough."

You turn your gaze to him, his still reading over the lines.

“I love you, Jungkook”

Jungkook smiles, then locks his eyes on yours, his gentle and dark eyes traveling your face, he reaches out to stroke with the back of his hand your cheek, then trailing to the back of your head to tangles his fingers in your hair, the movements are soothing and harmonious, leaving a trail of tickle behind them

“I love you”

And like that he is kissing you, over your lips, on your neck, down your chest. Taking your clothes off and kissing even further on your body. His arms wrap around your back and in one gentle pull your skin touches. Laughing in content he lifts you off, accommodating you, letting you down with a soft bounce on the sofa mattress. You lock eyes for just a moment, then you both are naked and your skin and his move softly together, like the finest of silks. From there on it's all passion, intense, intoxicating; You are one with him, one mind with one purpose, both utterly drunk with love for the other.

8 hours.

Jungkook is sitting on the edge of the bed, his bare back facing you. You remain silent, not moving one inch knowing the man before you must be caught in deep thinking, still believing you are asleep, too scared to take him out of his meditation. You blink weakly, your eyes wanting to close again and returning you to dreamland. The sun hasn't come up yet, you see a clock on the side of the bed- 5 AM. Has he maybe had a nightmare?

6 hours

Jungkook wakes you up with a soft kiss on your forehead. You stretch your limbs and yawn, without noting you had fallen asleep, you nod to him, not really listening to something he just said. Turning on his heels, he walks to the stairs and steps down, his figure losing from sight. You sit on the bed stretching once more, feeling a chilly breeze on your naked body. Quickly you stand up and head to the bathroom, grabbing your clothes from 2 days ago to use after your shower. Before entering the bathroom you look sideways to the clock next to the bed, his threatening red letters laughing at you. You breathe deeply. What’s next?

5 Hours.

Jungkook made breakfast again, like the day before it was delicious and you are still baffled at his presentations. There is another flower on the shot glass, it’s fresh and the colors look vivid. Jungkook points with a nod of his head to the wooden box that’s still over the coffee table.

“What shall we do with that?” he asks.

“I don’t know…” you reply, looking at it.

“I think we should give it away, pass the money and the box to someone else”

“Alright” you agree, taking the last piece of toast with jam and munching it. “You have someone in mind?” you inquire.

Jungkook nods “Yeah”

4 Hours.

“What?” the gray-haired man examines the box, looking at both strangely.

“We want you to have this,” Jungkook explains again. “You said that you needed money for your studies, right?”

“Yeah?” the man scrunches his nose, furrowing his eyebrows, still confused.

“Then use this for that.” Jungkook insists.

“But, I still don’t understand…” he looks at your and Jungkook. “Why would you give me money, or you,” he says gesturing at you “we never met, and you and I only shar—”

“Listen, Yoongi…” Jungkook interrupts “Please accept the money, okay? Consider it as forwarding payment for when you become a famous photographer or musician” he chuckles.

Yoongi squints his eyes still not convinced as to why you two would give him money. “Alright” he simply states.

Jungkook smiles and then takes your hand, everyone waved then you and Jungkook head outside of the building, to the bus stop, the moment for you to get back home. Jungkook holds your hand tightly while you walk down the street, the pace of your steps slowed down. Its breezy outside and the wind makes your hair wave.

“So…” you start. “The notebook, huh?” you ask, bringing back the quote he made you read.

“Yes?”

“Nothing…” you purse your lips playful “I just didn't know you were a big softie.” you mock.

“Guess the secret is out” He laughs, doubtfully.

You half smile, noticing the mood was not right to make a joke. “I'm sorry, Jungkook,” you say, looking down at your feet.

“For what?” Jungkook asks.

“For nothing in particular, and for everything at the same time” you smile, sadness in your features.

Jungkook stops you, in your tracks and lift your face up, placing a finger under your chin then bring it up to him. “No, don’t be sorry…I was never planning on falling in love with you,”his assertive eyes breaking your walls, his words honest, his mind clear, his love pure. “But I’m glad I did, because I love you for who you are, who you were, and who you will become, and that’s love indeed”

In that silence after, you lean in and close the gap between your bodies, in that silence that followed the clashing of your lips, all the passions and the sparks of love that existed between both materialized, in a kiss. In that moment, you are strong. A single kiss and now you have the courage to do whatever you have to. Because you have loved. And It was real.

1 hour

“We remind you again, to please patiently wait to be mated on the Main Hall of the premises, thank you for collaborating.”

The female voice said on the speakers, ‘Mated’ ugh, the word even made you want to throw up. After showing your letter to the receptionist you were given a row number that corresponded to a section inside the Main Hall, where you are supposed to wait to be called for before meeting your selected soulmate. With you, there were about another 9 females waiting to be ‘Mated’, Yuck, you barf internally. In the other, you get to see in the other sections girls and guys, some starting conversation with one another, and others refusing to even look up or to engage in small talk. Is there anyone else in my situation? you wonder. There are some employees of the center, dressed in pure white clothing, they remind you of those who work in hospitals or laboratories. What a coincidence, we are all lab rats, oh! the humanity, you muse dramatically. You are the last one of your row, behind your, there is a  line of armchairs ( every section has them), where you take sit. Exhaling deeply you mindlessly arrange your clothes, the blue sigil laying on your lap. Back home, after taking a shower, you chose your outfit before you marched to the center, skinny jeans, a loose white blouse and some comfortable sneakers- since, you knew you were gonna be waiting or standing for a long time. You are not sure on why you decide to arrive an hour before to the center, maybe it was just part of your general anxiousness, maybe you just had time to spare, or maybe you felt utterly miserable and want to see how many other miserable faces you’d find once you arrived. Yep, the last one. It hasn’t even been four hours, nay, not an hour had passed before, while you were riding the bus back home, you already starting missing Jungkook. Your brain strongly wanted to just let it go for a little while, the constant running of him through your mind leaving you exhausted; but your heart, your body and even your senses wouldn’t let him go, not even for the slightest of seconds.

Stop it. you warn yourself.

Stop this right now, It will only be worse after this. Woman up.

A small sniff escapes.

Fuck, don't cry. You try to convince yourself, but your tears are impertinent, and will not listen to you.

Fuck. you repeat, cleaning your cheeks with the back of your head.

“Hey”  a soft-spoken male voice calls. “Hey, are you okay?”

You clean your tears, not looking to the owner of said voice “Does it look like I’m okay?” you reply, cutting.

“Sorry,” he says, his voice even lower than before and also apologetic, as if he did you wrong.

“No…” you begin, sniffing again. “No, I’m sorry...I’m a little, over the edge. I’m the one who’s sorry” you explain, looking up.

“No problem,” he half smiles, looking down at his feet shyly. “I just wanted to see if maybe you needed help, or if I should call someone”

“It’s all good.” Yeah right, you roll your eyes, internally.

The newcomer takes sit a little dubious, next to you. On the corner of your eye, you see a hand, handing you a tissue “thanks” you nod, accepting his offering.

“Do you maybe want to talk about what happened?” the man offers.

You shake your head, weakly. “No…”

The man sitting next to you nods, understanding then leans on his site. You eye him, noticing he is well dressed, almost like if he is waiting for being interviewed. You find that a little amusing, since he probably is excited to meet his soulmate and wants them to have a good first impression, you look a little more upwards, reaching his face; his skin glows with a healthy tawny tinge, almost golden, his hair was a dark brown, really pretty and soft looking, his mouth curved slightly, making it look like a constant smile, his eyes a dark brown but with the most beautiful of sparkles on them, the whole picture made him look, smart and dapper.

“Did I over did it a little?” his voice takes you off your trance.

“What?” you ask.

“My outfit” he points to himself “Is it too much? I want to give my soulmate a good first impression” he shrugs flustered.

“It's okay” you shrug back, maybe you look like you didn't care because he purses his lips and nods looking down to his feet uncomfortable. “I mean, I’m sure your soulmate will like it and appreciate you dressed up for them”

He must have liked the answer because, after it, he flashes the most beautiful and endearing smile you ever saw. “Thanks” he replies.

You notice your mouth is curving into a reciprocal same to him, but once you realized it you hawk and hide it again.

“Are you still sad?” he inquires.

You nod, looking to the crowd “A little” you finally confess.

He takes his hand and gingerly places it over your knee “To commit to loving a person for five minutes is easy.” he begins, tapping lightly on your leg “To commit to loving a person for the rest of your life, after you have met them, is a strong commitment. But... when you commit to loving a person before you meet them and for the rest of your life, you have made the strongest commitment one can make to a relationship.”

He nods, no smile, no gentle push, nothing other than his words resonating inside you.  Somehow they comforted you. Where the words comforting, or it was him? You couldn't pin it, but inside you feel the weight of his lines, on how his soft and singsong voice recited those words to you.

“I’m y/n” you managed to say.

He nodded, offering his hand for you to shake “Hoseok”

5  Minutes

The girl in front of you entered the room about 15 minutes before, outside where you stood the walls were gray and depressing, there was a row of seats as well, but they were now empty, you being the only one remaining to be mated. Your heart - unlike you expected- was completely still, and keeps his normal pace. Your eyes fall down to the wrinkled piece of paper you nervously fidget with throughout the day. You tap on the floor, not standing the peaceful ambiance the room had. There is a same gray tone door next to you, once the previous girl is with their time, they open again and you walk through it. You think about him, about Jungkook, and how he would try to fill in the silence if you were together, how he would probably start whistling or singing something. You smile and tap on the floor with your feet to a whatever beat you can think of, the sound of you tapping bouncing on the walls. Your eyes look up, where a small and standard round watch is hanging.

3 Minutes

How would they be like?

Would they enjoy books?

2 minutes

The tick of the clock now takes the foreground. A flash shows you Hoseok, and how nice he was. How very gentleman of him to hand you the tissue for your tears. And how very comforting his kind words were to you.

1 minute

Had he lost someone too?

The door opens

“Please proceed to enter the room” the speaker lady commands.

As you walk through the door you know this is true, and that your previous life is over, you know the change is near and unavoidable. You still think life is unfair and tormenting. But you are strong because you need to be because you want to be strong; because you know that even if it's over, it will never be forgotten.

This love was so pure it would smolder within their hearts for all eternity.

Now you understand.

You enter the room, the door closing behind you. The setting before your eyes was nothing like you had imagined. No white and plain white brick walls, no metal table or chairs, as if you were on and interrogation room, no one-way mirror where they can spy on you like tests subjects, no flickering lights. No. it was a small room, with comfortable recamiers, a little crystal table with clean glasses and some drinks to pour, the walls had an absolutely beautiful wallpaper, rococo style with lovebirds on them, flying or sitting over a twig ( maybe a little too discord with the rest of the room) another door, on the opposite side of the room, with the same symbol as the envelope. And a male figure, sitting with his back to you. You walk to him unwillingly, wanting to reveal once and for all his face. But he hears you and sits up, turning to meet your eyes. Then a gasp coming from your lips.

“Hoseok”

He opens his eyes wide once he sees you, surprised. “y/n” he says your name, softly. “What a pleasant surprise” he smiles at you, little dimples forming at the curve of his lips.

2 Years later

‘We may not all have a soulmate, but we might find someone that we never knew we needed.’

“More Coffee?” the tall girl asks, going out of her mind at the routine.

The sun shines on the page of the book he was reading. “No, thanks” he finally answers, nodding politely. The girl moves forward to the next table, repeating her line. His eyes return to the book on his lap, with the pencil in hand he marks the line of the book, not pressing down the graphite to not leave a mark behind. He smiles and sighs, scratching the back of his head. He was a year away from graduating and still he had trouble on keeping up with his reading, this too often making him fail some tests. The phrase reminds him of her. Of course. He wonders how she is. how her life is going, Is she eating well?,Has she finally stopped crying?, Is she happy? After that day they grew distant. In a way was for the better, Jungkook knew very well he wouldn’t be completely able to see her with someone else. Because he is selfish. He always was when it came to her. He never once felt betrayed after that day. In fact, he saw her once. with him, from a distant while walking down to the gym. They were just walking, not holding hands or in any type of romantic situation, it could've been anyone next to her, but Jungkook knew he was her life companion. And he smiled; Because she was smiling too.

Jungkook reads the line once again, grinning wholeheartedly.

‘We may not all have a soulmate, but we might find someone that we never knew we needed.’

#bts #armiesnet #kreativewritersnet #BTS Imagine #noonanet #BTS smut #BTS scenarios #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bangtan jungkook #bangtan #bangtan smut #bangtan fic #bangtan fanfic #bts fanfic #soulmate au #our last night #angustd

[games-benedict]

Destiny 2 Is As Beautiful As Ever

Destiny 2 is out. I’m not sure what I’m hoping to find there. At this point, it’s pretty clear Bungie’s never going to make the Destiny game I want. But I’m going back nonetheless because 1) the guns still feel great and 2) there’s some damn pretty stuff to see.

After getting to spend a fair bit of time with the game last night I ended up with quite a few screenshots, so rather than go on a long rant about how this series is still a mess, I’ll try to keep my list of grievances to a minimum and focus instead on some of the cool world building that happens in the game despite itself.

There are all different types of science fiction, but I think Destiny’s version tends to come off as inconsistent and off the wall. But really it just reminds me of the illustrations artists would do for old sci-fi paper backs or even astronomy coffee table books. It’s not built around a particular technological question, or hypotheticals about life in the future. Instead, the game’s approach is to simply take the Wikipedia page for a planet or astronomical phenomenon, dream about it, and then start throwing lines and colors on a page. On the surface, Mass Effect Andromeda seemed to be doing the same thing, but in reality the results ended up feeling much more engineered and modular; the difference between scanning a planet from above and painting it from below.

Destiny’s backgrounds are great. Especially because they’re always balanced with a middle ground you can actually get to and nearby objects that contrast in volume and help frame the vista ahead.

The early part of Destiny 2 veers heavily into Lord of the Rings and I sort of dig that.

Bungie knows how to take good looking scenes and really make them pop by adding dramatic lighting effects. The Sleeping Beauty bramble cave below a pedestrian looking aluminum silo is also cool.

Whatever you wanna call it--instagramification, neon-drenching, etc.--I think it works and helps give Destiny 2 a visual identity apart from the first game. Fighting uphill in the woods below a pink and teal sky against camping aliens is better than a lot of the alternatives. 

I've really missed this series’ skyboxes.

Titan is definitely my favorite location to date. Even if it was giving me hard Gears of War 3 flashbacks, and most of the fights weren’t as good as Gears of War 3, trading empty expanses for narrow corridors and ledges was a nice change of pace. 

Destiny is also at its best when there’s extreme terraforming involved. In this case, Titan basically functions as a combination of Star Wars’ Cloud City and Minos.

More teal! But also lemon yellows and sun baked sheet metal. There’s been a subtle shift in Destiny 2 toward big industrial equipment which, intentional or not, helps give some actual shape to some of the backstory about what civilization was up to before the fall. Giant turbines, hydro-pistons, and big alien drills draw a nice contrast with the sleek space ships and magic armor; more Alien than Star Trek.

I’m not sure what exactly it is about the designs on Titan, but felt very IKEA to me. Maybe it was just the yellow, or the rain at sea on a rig (all of which I weirdly associate with Scandinavia). Between the first game’s old Russia Cosmodrone and Destiny 2′s European Dead Zone, it all feels a bit eurocentric.

This is my favorite tunnel in the game so far. And there are a lot of tunnels.

Skyboxes with giant planets in them are even better.

Seriously though, Titan’s the best.

The giant biodome has a very Logan’s Run feels to it and, assuming there are some interesting side missions, strikes, or (fingers crossed) and eventual raid there, it will immediately jump toward the top of my list of best post-apocalyptic malls.

7066 Nessus is a small Vex rock, and as such, looked equal parts beautiful and re-used assets from Venus. The hazy teals and electric blues are once again in full effect, but I’m down with it. While the rest of the game seems content to double down on the “log on and shoot shit with your bros” appeal, the art direction in Destiny 2 commits much more strongly to the series’ trippy sci-fi vibes.

The eye motif that follows the Vex around is one of my favorites, even if it makes Nessus look like the GLaDOS home world. 

Otherwise, here are some quick thoughts so far, in no particular order:

The writing is bad. Destiny’s writing was mostly silly nonsense, but Destiny 2 tries to invoke this feeling of being under siege, especially in the beginning, that makes it feel like you’re supposed to be taking it all totally seriously

I’m not the only one to point this out, but anytime you tell the player not to die and then let them respawn seconds away the first time they die after that, there’s probably some holes in your design.

To that point, why even bother to Metroid the player if you’re going to re-introduce the bulk of their powers a few moments later with no interesting obstacles in-between? Not being able to run, jump, or throw grenades is a very jarring thing in Destiny, and yet that brief survival-horror sequence is played mostly as a walking sim. Normally that’s something I’d encourage, but in this particular type of situation, it seems to completely miss the point.

I’m so tired of loot boxes. Overwatch and PUBG have ruined us. Especially since most of the loot boxes that appear in Destiny 2 are full of tedious junk.

The environments are big and beautiful but still mostly empty. 99% of interactions boil down to “Hold square to spawn monster closets.”

You can tell Bungie really wanted to go for it this time in terms of the linear narrative, but it feels completely uneconomical given the dearth of plot throughout the rest of the game. Too many of the cutscenes don’t advance the story or tell me something I couldn’t have guessed before. More importantly, they don’t introduce more questions. This was a problem in the first game, but it feels even more acute in the second given its apparent emphasis on getting us to care about these characters and their struggle. Basically, every time Bungie has a chance to build out a mystery it chooses to make a bad joke instead.

It’s a sequel, so stuff is bound to be different, but I got the sneaking suspicion on more than one occasion that stuff was changed from the first game to the second simply to make the second feel like more of an upgrade. I don’t see the point of the new skill tree look, for instance. At bottom it’s still asking you to make the same trade-offs as before and not allowing you any greater degree of customization. While there are plenty of small graphical and quality of life improvements, there’s also an awful lot of crap that looks like it was given a fresh coat of paint just cause. Maybe that’s not a bad thing, but it feels hollow and overly conservative on Bungie’s part.

Finally, what’s up with Zavala and his crew scattering to the four corners of the solar system? Shaxx is on Earth still? Nathan Fillion (sorry, Cayde-6 literally doesn’t exist as a character) crash lands on a jumble of No Man’s Sky assets to look for a teleporter? One thing Destiny 2 has done a good (read: slightly better) job of is introducing a certain amount of skepticism and dissension within the ranks. The three principal Guardians all have slightly different priorities and interpretations of the game’s central premise (is that big ball in the sky good, bad, or indifferent?), and there are some regular old humans who think the City (run by the Guardians) was kind of a sham. It would have been easy to explore that tension more explicitly and then send Zavala et al scattering on account of those divisions. Instead, Destiny’s just like, yea they all ended up on random planets, guess you need to go track’em down *wink* *wink*.

#Destiny 2 #Bungie #Scifi

[empanther]

SHIPPING INFO   //   answer  the  following  for  your  muse(s)  so  people  know  how  shipping  works  on  your blog.  REPOST.  DON’T  reblog.

1.   WHAT’S  YOUR  OTP  FOR  YOUR  MUSE? :

i wouldn’t say i have a definitive OTP for ann? at least not in the sense that i vastly prefer her with one character over others because i honestly believe she has considerable potential with a lot of the persona 5 ( young adult ) cast!

however, i won’t deny that there are some pairings i feel more strongly towards than others and those would be ( in no particular order )! :

   – makoto & ann / ann & haru / makoto & ann & haru : i adore these three ( and the entire female cast of p5 too lbr ), both individually and collectively and not exclusively in a romantic context. these three complement one another as duos and as a cumulative trio and anytime i see any content for them, you can bet i’m smashing that motherhecking like button    – ryuji & ann : that animated cut sequence at the conclusion of the seventh palace. u kno which one i’m talking about. yea. that one. that is all. ( ok but in all seriousness there’s so much subtext hinting at them i love them ) –   akechi & ann : this is probably the one that’d elicit the most hate and out of the interest for my safety i shall refrain from elaborating on the reason for this ship here : ‘ ) – ann & girls : ain’t no way in heck she’s straight ( hint: she’s bi ) – me & @burntofight : ilu

2.   WHAT  ARE  YOU  WILLING  TO  RP  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO  SHIPPING? 

this is such a broad question     ummm………….. whatever constitutes the standard ( with the exception of nsfw / heavily grim content ), i suppose? ( i was going to elaborate on what i define as ‘nsfw’ but there’s a question for that later on so i’ll expound there! )

3.   HOW  LARGE  DOES  THE  AGE  GAP  HAVE  TO  BE  TO  MAKE  IT  UNCOMFORTABLE? :

since this is a v sensitive and complicated topic and i have no interest in inciting or participating in discourse, i’ll limit the scope of this question to ann and ann alone.

ann is canonically 16 and ( while emotionally mature for someone her age ) she—as i understand and interpret her—would not, at time the game takes place, date someone older than her by 2 years ( i.e. older than 18 ) or younger than her by 1 year ( i.e. younger than 15 ). given her young age in her canon material, this would invariably change as she grew older, such that by the time she’s in her early 30s she’d be comfortable dating up to 5 years older / 3 years younger. ( please be aware that is based on my understanding of ann and is applicable only in relation to my interpretation of her. ) 

4.   ARE  YOU  SELECTIVE  WHEN  SHIPPING? :

not really! especially when it comes to roleplaying female characters as they so seldom get enough appreciation OOCly that i’m more than amenable to the concept of romantic interest / interaction as compensation for the convention of the fandom’s mistreatment / negligence of them. as long as there’s chemistry between the characters and the muns are in mutual agreement about roleplaying in that context, the idea delights me!

5.   HOW  FAR  DO  STEAMY  MOMENTS  HAVE  TO  GO  BEFORE  THEY’RE  CONSIDERED  NSFW? :

hfakshdas i said i was going to elaborate here but i’m embarrassed……………… AHEM ok! honestly nsfw content of a sexual nature is almost nonexistent across all my blogs regardless of whether the muse in question is a minor or not simply because i’m v awkward w the topic.

as a rule of thumb as to what i’ll tag as nsfw: anything that is more sexual in nature than kissing without tongue; if kissing involves tongue, it’ll be tagged as #nsfw cw / #nsfw ish cw (altho regardless of the intensity of the kiss i’ll still tag it as kissing & pda)

as for the specifics of the extent of nsfw that has the potential to appear on this blog:    – in verses in which ann ( or any of my muses ) is under or around the age 18: anything beyond intense kissing would be considered too nsfw for me to feel comfortable writing and i’d either stop there or have the thread “fade to black”    – in verses in which ann ( or any of my muses ) is an adult [ 20+ ]: anything beyond intense kissing / caressing of the body above the belly button and beneath mid-thigh / removal of shirts and/or pants ( undergarments remain on ) would be considered too nsfw for me to feel comfortable writing and i’d either stop there or have the thread “fade to black”

6.   WHO  ARE  OTHER  MUSES  YOU  SHIP  YOUR  MUSE  WITH? :

wait wha i thought i answered this question unless it means specific blogs??? in which case i owe my fervent frankness abt p5 girl gays to my gaylord and gayvior @shogitogo ( hifumi ) / @okxmura ( haru )  +  @freefound’s ryuji is my forever best boy  +  @queenedme could run over me w johanna and i’d thank them and their makoto +  both ann and i would lay down our lives for @burntofight’s sakura ( & their yuri & their evrae & their kamui——& theo gets an honorary mention bc he’s a Good )

7.   DOES  ONE  HAVE  TO  ASK  TO  SHIP  WITH  YOU? :

if you want to have our muses start out in a romantic relationship — yes! i like to communicate with the mun of whomever i’m shipping with so communication is a must! otherwise — nope! it would be nice but it’s not a requirement, especially if we have a thread or have interacted numerous times and you’d like to further their relationship in a romantic context.

however, if i a reblog a meme that implies / entails romance, anyone is free to send something in, even if we’ve yet to interact!

8.   HOW  OFTEN  DO  YOU  LIKE  TO  SHIP? :

it’s definitely not a priority and seldom ( if ever ) do i initiate interaction with the intent of romance. tl;dr: if it happens, it happens!

 9.   ARE  YOU  SHIP  OBSESSED  OR  SHIP  MORE - OR - LESS? :

i…………… don’t know what this means……………… but like i said in the previous question, shipping is not a priority of mine; however if we have agreed to ship then odds are i’m super enthusiastic abt it and would love to talk about them / their dynamic ( on this same note, if i ever become too overbearing, please don’t hesitate to tell me to heck off bc i absolutely understand and would never take offense to your doing so! )

10.   ARE  YOU  MULTISHIP? :

i should probably put this in my rules too but i’m multiship + ship exclusive meaning that i’m open to shipping w numerous different characters but won’t ship with another blog of the same character!

11.   WHAT  IS  ( ARE )  YOUR  FAVORITE  SHIP  (S)  IN  YOUR  CURRENT  FANDOM? :

i……………………. ………am i answering these questions incorrectly i feel like i am bc i thought i already answered this ( see question 1! )

12.   FINALLY,  HOW  DOES  ONE  SHIP  WITH  YOU?:

just approach me about it! ( even tho i can’t understand y u would ever want to )

tagged by: the swexy @burntofight​ tagging: any sorry soul that put themselves through the entirely optional torture of actually reading my response to this thing ( feel free to tag me! )

#i forgot my tag for these sorts of things #( ooc. ): peut-être jamais peut-être demain; mais pas aujourd'hui c'est certain. #that'll have to do?? #altho to anyone i mentioned please don't feel as if you have to do this yourself! i just wanted y'all to know i love you and #that i'm in a constant state of astonishment that y'all actually want to ship w my lame bum

[seekesotsibteadmist]

latviju

my opinion on;

character in general:  Well I’ve been following for a while and seeing this character develop from an interpretation to an outright OC has been really cool. So I totally respect the sheer amount of work that has been done to transform this character into someone the mun wants to write as and portray to the best of his ability. So I’ve become quite fond of the character because of that change.how they play them: I love the way that Oskar is written like there is clearly a character that has been heavily impacted by what they have been experienced but that sense of pride remains ever-present in everything they do. I appreciate that so much. And I love the way he interacts with others.the mun: Dan’s a cool dude from all I can tell. I feel like I should talk to him more because I think there’d be fun things to talk about. But I am a pretty reserved person all things considereed. Still - I like him a lot.

do i;

follow them: Yes. Have been for a while.rp with them: Not often enough but yes.want to rp with them: Hell yea.ship their character with mine: ehhhh. not particularly.  im interested in whatever else Oskars got going on though.

what is my;

overall opinion: Brilliant character, pretty rad admin. They are a total joy to have on my dash and look forward to seeing more from them.

#asks #latviju #ooc ramblings #Anonymous