#and a lovely red-blossomed gum tree
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In a Corner I Haunt: Everybody Moved On (Chapter Two)
ch. 1 (currently being edited)
I did not intend on this little angst piece becoming a bigger idea, but here we are. Currently there is no graphic content, bur this series will eventually contain smut so I’m asking for solely an 18+ audience.
Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!OC
Word Count: 3k
Series Warnings: Cheating, Thoughts of cheating, Smut, Angst with semi happy ending, Divorce, Discussion of parental depth, Mentions of past domestic abuse, Neglecting spouse, Cursing, Peter on the verge of a nervous breakdown. More to add.
Chapter Warnings: Description of love interest, Love interest is given nickname, Implied thoughts of cheating, chapter is pretty diff Peter heavy.
please reblog and/or comment
There was a girl who sat in the west courtyard of ESU on Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday and occasionally Friday his sophomore year. She sat under the same tree since the start of the spring semester, the old cherry blossom tree that was right off the path Peter skated everyday towards Dr. Octavius’ lab. On the weekdays she had her laptop snug in her lap with whatever it seemed she could get from the campus cafe, her favorite seemed to be a Matcha Latte with some type of croissant sandwich. On weekends she sat there enjoying the warmer days with a book, or sitting in a cardigan working on her laptop.
On some days Peter found himself walking past, and walking slower to really capture her and her beauty. On occasion he thought about stopping and talking to her. Asking her about what book she was reading this time, or what it was she was typing away on. However, according to his friends that would be stalkerish, giving away that he had been watching her quite a bit over the last few weeks. That girls liked to be met organically, without being watched beforehand. So here he was camera in hand, swallowing his words in his throat as he approached her.
“Photo for the ESU Daily?” He whispered nervously, his words slewing out in one big word.
“Do we take random photos for the Daily now?”
“Oh well, it’s this piece I’m working on about students who take their..their work outside.” The lie seemed perfect to him, no flaws, the best and most calm lie he’s ever told.
“I’ve never seen you in the writing room.”
What.
“Mhm, what?”
“I’m a writer at the daily.”
“Oh..” Peter’s eyes shifted around uncomfortably, clearing his throat and opening his mouth to defend himself.
“But I have seen you in the darkroom. You’re Parker.”
“Peter..Parker. Peter Parker.” He thrusted his hand into her face smiling. She smiled, choking on a laugh, taking his hand and shaking it.
She looked up at him, giving him her name with a sweet smile. Her eyes setting a part of his soul on fire, he was sure of it. There was a softness that grew in the pit of his stomach as he looked down at her.
“Not to make this awkward but do you stare at all the people you’re interested in from a distance or just a select few.”
“Oh you noticed that.” He laughed, his hand coming up to tuck his hair back and scratch his neck out of embarrassment. “Select few. You should feel really flattered.”
“Good, I do.” Her laugh echoed in his ears, settling into a part of his brain and making a home in his memory already. “Do you want to..I don’t know have a seat.”
Peter physically restricted himself from sitting next to the girl, he knew he’d be so late and Otto would maybe actually kill him this time.
“I would really love to, but I’m about to be late and if we are gonna have a..seat together I’d like to be alive for it.” Quickly, Peter scribbled his phone number down onto a gum wrapper he found in his pocket. Handing it to her. “Here is my number, you can call me and we can like, meet tonight or whenever at that uh- italian place up the block.”
“Leo’s?”
“Yeah that one is perfect.” He smiled as he ran backwards away from her. His cheeks burning red, he wondered if his smile was still noticeable to her. Peter turned around taking off towards Otto’s lab, jumping up out of excitement. His other commitments would have to wait till after this date.
Tears hung in Peter's eyes today, his stomach had crawled its way up his throat. He looked at that same tree today, hands dug deep in his pockets. He had decided to take a small detour on his way to pick up his daughter from the English department. He approached the tree that still stood in the west courtyard; tall and barren from the cold season. It felt like a laugh in his face. An evil metaphor crawling out of the shadows at him, showing him what he had thrown away. He reached out letting his finger draw over the initials carved poorly into the tree. It was a silly thing he did for her on their two month anniversary, forever commemorating their meeting spot, thinking that one day he’d bring her back here and purpose. Coward.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzzzz..
Peter dug his hands around in his pockets grasping at his phone, finally getting it in his palm. He cleared his throat before speaking.
“Alice, sorry I’m on my way now I just got stuck on the subway. Camilia excited?” He asked as he cut through the west courtyard heading towards the Lee English Hall.
“Well she’d be a little bit more excited if her daddy were on time.”
“I know I just ran into a old friend, and then I got caught-”
“I do not care Pete,” Her brief scoff was heard on the other side. He knew it was not directed at him. She was really stressed with her first year teaching. “I just need you to get here so I can teach my one o’clock lecture baby, please.”
“Gotcha, headin’ your way now.” Peter hummed slowly, pushing through students on the sidewalk mouthing apologies. “I love..” the dial tone rang loudly in his ear. “You.” He sighed, pocketing his phone and continuing his walk.
Had this been a couple years ago he would be skateboarding through these people not worried about what they thought of him, he missed being young and non caring. Peter looked at the couples eating outside on the benches and suddenly he remembers being that boyfriend bringing his girlfriend lunch between classes. Rushing kisses, and rushing through lunch, skipping out on the last bit of Otto’s lecture and lab work to get to the journalism building as fast as possible. He remembers her surprising him during lab hours with dinner, they would sit and enjoy one another's company till early morning hours. Then they’d pick whose place to go back to, then she’d fall asleep on her shoulder the subway ride back.
He has a beautiful life now, but now he can’t even begin to think about what his life with her could have been like. He could have had Camilia with his girl, they could have gotten engaged that night had he just not gotten cold feet. Peter shook his head pulling himself out of his selfish and insane thoughts, and suddenly he was in front of Lee Hall where the English department was. He sighed walking around the back entrance where the offices were located, and muscle memory carried him the rest of the way down the hall.
“Daddy!”
The voice piped up as Peter pushed open the office door, Alice smiled at her daughter and it slowly disappeared off her face as she looked at Peter. He took his daughter into his arms as she climbed up his side.
“Got everything ready?” Peter asks, kissing his little girl's head. “We gotta go see grandma May. Then we are gonna go get ice cream, and then we are..off to the science museum” Peter spoke in a theatrical voice, making his daughter smile. He grabbed her, lifting her up, moving her around like a rocket shooting off. Alice stares at the two, a smile on her face directed only at their daughter.
“Peter, can you take that outside please. I’d like for my office to not be destroyed. You two get too rowdy, and it always ends up with something broken.” She sighed, blowing her daughter a kiss goodbye.
“Momma ‘s not our fault.” Camilia says, her annunciation falling short due to her missing teeth.
“No baby it’s not. It's daddy’s for passing on all those awesome spider powers to you.”
Though she says it like a compliment, Peter can hear the passive aggressiveness lacing his wife's voice. It would be a lie to say it isn’t pushing a knife deeper into his stomach, his sweet girl would never have referred to him this way. So dismissive, inciting that he was a problem to her life. He shook his head and put on a smile, kissing his daughter's head. “Bye Allie, say bye momma.”
“Bye momma.” Cami waved as Peter carried her out of the office, her spider-man backpack thrown over his left shoulder.
“Okay daddy?” Camilia asked, looking up at him, her big doe eyes reflecting himself in them. Peter smiled down at his daughter, the metaphorical knife leaving his gut.
“I am perfect, Cami. How about you, are you good- wanna walk?”
“No, wanna stay here.”
She says watching the people pass by them, Peter smiles as he approaches the subway station heading down the steps. He looks down at his daughter and back ahead of the hoards of people ahead of them. He thinks that he could do this on his own, he thinks about the life he and his daughter would have had he just held out for a bit longer, and he thinks about her again. Then the doors of the subway open, and he steps on bringing himself back down to reality as his daughter talks to him about all the animals she saw on her way to ESU this morning and for the next couple hours he’s content living in this bubble. Once his daughter dozes off on his shoulder he thinks about his sweet girl once more, wondering if her number is still the same. He contemplates calling her, begging her for one last touch. Begging to have her one more time, begging her to be the mother to his child. Promising to change, to not pull back at the last second this time. Then the cart jolts, and he catches his daughter in his arms remembering the man he is.
…
May’s house is just the same as it has been for decades, except now for the first time in about 20 years there are toys scattered on the floor once again and he walks into the house surrounded by the scent of cookies.
“Nana!” Camilia yells running to the kitchen as soon as Peter put her down. Peter heard May’s gasp followed by a groan as she reached down to pick the little girl up.
“Hi May!” Peter smiled walking to the kitchen putting his keys and Camilia’s bag down on the counter.
“Hi babies.” May says kissing Camilia’s head and reaching up to kiss Peter’s cheek. Peter smiled letting his hand rest on her back. “Oh Cami let those cool.” Peter says, reaching his hand out to catch his daughter before she could grab the hot cookies.
“Okay..” She sighs, wiggling out of May’s arms, landing on her feet as she hits the ground.
“Oh she stresses me out when she does that. She gets that from you.” May laughs, wagging a finger at Peter, watching Camilia grab her bag running to the living room.
“I know I apparently gave her all her negative traits.”
“Oh who says that?” May questions, pulling the cookies off the sheet and putting them on the plate.
“Alice.”
“Well..” May points the spatula at him like she’s about to say something profound. “Oh well, maybe I shouldn’t say that.”
“No, no, let's hear it.” Peter laughs his hand on his cheek.
“Alice has more negative traits coming out her tuchus than you have in your whole body. Which one of you started fighting crime at eighteen years old, and which one of you got your daddy to pay your way through college mhm?”
May was never a fan of Alice. May was a very big fan of his sweet girl, she adored her and he knows the two still frequently talk during holidays and other times just when they feel like it. May was more devastated about their break up than he was at the time. Which couldn’t prepare him for what her reaction was about to be.
“I saw her today.”
May’s jaw dropped, as did the spatula landing on the linoleum floor. “Oh my gosh how was it, how was she? How do you feel?”
“She looked..beautiful as ever, the same as the day I left her. Older now obviously but, it was like looking at a ghost.” Peter laughed. “I got so overwhelmed..now I can’t get her out of my head, May. I just, I’m so wrapped up in what could have been. I made a mistake. I think I made a big mistake.”
“I told you that five years ago..you’re just like your uncle. Goes in one ear and right out the other until you’re ready. I swear..” May shook her head laughing, putting a cookie in Peter’s hand and several on a plate for Camilia. Peter’s lips pushed into a bittersweet smile and he nodded, his aunt was right.
“Cami, come get your snack.” Peter says. Camilia runs in and leaves so fast it’s like she never even entered the room. Peter watched her sit on the couch TV blaring to where she couldn't hear.
“You calling that little girl a mistake?”
“No, just my marriage.” It was a loaded statement. Peter had asked Alice to marry him after only six months and impulsive night after attending a friend's wedding. There was no ring, just this intense pressure to settle down and do it soon. “Camilia made it better, for a while. We both love her, we just..haven’t loved each other in quite a while.”
“You don’t have to tell me. I know.” May says. “I tried to warn you several times leading up to the wedding. Even on your wedding day. This is not love Peter. This is infatuation, infatuation wears off.”
“I thought you were just saying that because you wanted me to marry your girl.”
“My girl” was what May used to call her. Peter thought it was cute, May always wanted a daughter and she became that by extension of Peter. But he always called her angel. He couldn’t place why or how that nickname came around. Maybe because she was, to him, some type of divine entity that came to him to pull him out of that dark place. Whenever speaking to her or about her it was always angel this, angel that.
“Well..it was partially that too but I never liked Alice. She never liked me. She wouldn’t let me give you a way at your wedding because I wasn’t your biological mother and that only women are given away. Oh that made me so mad I coulda hit her, but I reframed, I kept my mouth shut.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen t’ya May.”
Peter says, reaching his hand across, holding her hand. “You are my mother. Biological or not you raised me, you know this. I wish you had told me before today, I don’t think I would have gone through with the wedding.”
“Sweet to say but you would have.”
Peter tilted his head holding his aunt's hand reassuringly. “Are you gonna see her again?” May asks.
“I’m not sure. I’d like to. I dunno if she…would want to see me again.”
“Well you didn’t hear this from me, but I don’t think she’d be too disappointed in hearing from you again.”
“Thanks May. You always know what to say.”
Peter smiled hugging his aunt kissing her head. His heart settling into his chest again felt right, and knew what to do but his brain was still screaming at him. “Come on, living room. Let’s see what Paw Patrol is up to today.”
Peter grabbed their drinks and the plate following into the living room, both of them sitting on either side of Camilia. Angel still lingering in the back of his mind.
…
May almost kept them the whole day, if Peter hadn’t caught his watch when he did he would have missed general admissions to the museum. Peter practically had to drag Camilia away from May, her begging to stay the night. Peter promised that he would message Alice about it to make sure it was okay after they got out of the museum.
“Are we gonna see the big t-rex?”
“Of course we will Cami, I’d be a terrible daddy to not let you see the dino.”
“You really would be.”
Peter laughed and rubbed his daughter's head ruffling her brown curls as they walked the steps to the science museum. “Up!” She demands whispering a please at the end, Peter caved lifting her up carrying her on his shoulders.
Showing the woman at the door their tickets, Peter smiled gratefully at her. As they walked in Camilia’s gasp could be heard, Peter smiled his eye catching what she was looking at. In the center of the room stood a banner for the new dinosaur exhibit and a small skeleton of a velociraptor next to a statue of one.
“He was about as big as you are honey.” Peter laughs.
“Cool.” Camilia smiles, her hands drumming on top of her fathers head in excitement. Peter laughed, reaching a hand up to stop her patting her small hands reassuringly. A voice rang out behind him that made him stop in his tracks.
“Picture for the Bugle?” His angel's voice rang out behind him, Peter turned around hugging his daughter's leg.
“Peter.” She smiles, she was dressed differently than what she had been earlier at the restaurant. Her brown hair clipped back out of her face, eyes looking up at him like they never lost him.
“Angel.” He whispers.
Her head tilted to the side like a dog hearing its owner's voice. She laughed, dropping her shoulders. “That’s a name I haven’t heard in a while. I was starting to think you forgot about that name.”
“Never.”
She looked at the little girl on his shoulders. “This must be the sweet Camilia you were telling me about earlier.”
“This is yes. Camilia this is-”
“Angel.” Camilia states.
“Sure yeah, we were old friends in college.”
She was almost your mother.
He refrains from speaking.
Angel smiles lifting her camera snapping a photo of the pair, Peter smiles looking past the camera and to her.
“Perfect, that's gonna go on the front page.” She hums, Peter looks confused. “Jameson put me in charge of the opening of the dinosaur exhibit and I’m writing a piece about it.”
“Since when did Jameson stop caring about hard hitting news?”
‘Since I begged him to let me make the dinosaur exhibit front page this week, and the museum is paying him to do it.”
“Now that sounds like him.”
It’s silent for a moment and Peter feels all his emotions building up like vomit in his throat, no way to stop it.
“Do you like dinos, Angel?”
Camilia asks looking down at the lady, Peter smiles, pulling his daughter off shoulders holding her to be eye level.
“I do.”
Before Peter could stop himself, the words fell out of his mouth. “You should walk it with us. Cami could easily be our tour guide.”
“You know what I’d love too.”
“Great.”
Peter nodded at her, as soon as the words left him Camilia’s feet hit the ground. her hand grabbing Peter and Angel’s, smiling up at them as she begins to drag them into the start. Angel’s smile lit his insides on fire just like at the restaurant, just like all those years under the tree on the west courtyard at ESU.
This could only end in one big glass shattering way, as it did all those years ago.
Taglist- Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!!
@helloheyhihowdyheya @sincericida @moonyslove78 @a-lumos-in-the-nox @messymissy @adhdhufflepuff @toomanyfictionalboyfriends @ateliefloresdaprimavera @eevylynn
#tasm fanfiction#tasm peter parker x reader#tasm peter smut#tasm peter x reader#tasm!peter imagine#tasm fic#peter parker fanfiction#andrew garfield peter parker#tasm! peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x fem#peter parker#peter parker x y/n#peter parker x reader#peter parker smut#andrew garfield x reader#tasm peter parker x oc
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Flowers with negative connotations
Abecedary: Volatility.
Abatina: Fickleness
Achillea Millefolia: War.
Aconite (Wolfsbane): Misanthropy
Adonis, Flos: Painful recollections.
African Marigold: Vulgar minds.
Agnus Castus: Coldness. Indifference
Almond (Common) : Stupidity. Indiscretion
Almond, Laurel: Perfidy
Aloe: Grief. Religious superstition
Anemone (Zephyr Flower): Sickness. Expectation.
Anemone (Garden): Forsaken
Apple, Thorn: Deceitful charms.
Apocynum (Dog’s Vane): Deceit
Ash-leaved Trumpet Flower: Separation
Aspen Tree: Lamentation
Asphodel: My regrets follow you to the grave
Auricula, Scarlet: Avarice
Balsam, Red: Touch me not. Impatient resolves.
Balsam, Yellow: Impatience.
Barberry: Sourness of temper.
Barberry Tree: Sharpness.
Basil: Hatred.
Bay Leaf: I change but in death.
Bay (Rose) Rhododendron: Danger. Beware
Bee Ophrys: Error.
Belladonna: Silence
Belvedere: I declare against you.
Betony: Surprise
Bilberry: Treachery
Birch: Meekness.
Birdsfoot Trefoil: Revenge
Valerian: Rupture
Borage: Bluntness.
Box Tree: Stoicism.
Bramble: Lowliness. Envy
Burdock: Importunity. Touch me not.
Buttercup (Kingcup):Ingratitude. Childishness
Butterfly Weed: Let me go
Cardamine: Paternal error
Carnation, Deep Red: Alas! for my poor heart.
Carnation, Striped: Refusal.
Carnation, Yellow: Disdain
Cardinal Flower: Dittitutim.
Catchfly: Snare
Catchfly, White: Betrayed
Champignon: Suspicion.
Chequered Fritillary: Persecution
Cherry Tree, White: Deception
China or Indian Pink: Aversion
Cistus, Gum: I shall die to-morrow.
Citron: Ill-natured beauty
Clematis, Evergreen: Poverty.
Clotbur: Rudeness. Pertinacity
Colchicum, or Meadow Saffron: My best days are past.
Coltsfoot: Justice shall be done.
Columbine: Folly
Columbine, Red: Anxious and trembling
Convolvulus, Major: Extinguished hopes
Corn, Broken: Quarrel
Creeping Cereus: Horror
Crowsbill: Envy.
Crowfoot: Ingratitude
Currant: Thy frown will kill me.
Cuscuta: Meanness.
Cyclamen: Diffidence. (Modesty/shyness resulting from a lack of self confidence)
Cypress: Death. Mourning
Darnel (Ray grass): Vice
Dead Leaves: Sadness
Dogsbane: Deceit. Falsehood
Ebony Tree: Blackness.
Eglantine (Sweetbrier): Poetry. I wound to heal
Enchanter’s Nightshade: Witchcraft. Sorcery
Fly Orchis: Error
Flytrap: Deceit
Foxglove: Insincerity
French Marigold: Jealousy
Frog Ophrys: Disgust
Garden Anemone: Forsaken
Garden Marigold: Uneasiness
Geranium, Scarlet: Contorting. Stupidity
Hand Flower Tree: Warning.
Harebell: Submission. Grief
Heath: Solitude.
Helenium: Tears
Hellebore: Scandal. Calumny
Hemlock: You will be my death
Henbane: Imperfection
Hop: Injustice
Humble Plant: Despondency
Indian Plum: Privation
Jasmine, Carolina: Separation
Judas Tree: Unbelief. Betrayal
Laburnum: Forsaken. Pensive Beauty
Larch: Audacity. Boldness
Larkspur, Pink: Fickleness.
Larkspur, Purple: Haughtiness
Laurestina: A token. I die if neglected.
Lavender: Distrust.
Leaves (dead): Melancholy
Licorice, Wild: I declare against you.
Lobelia: Malevolence
Love lies Bleeding: Hopeless, not heartless
Madder: Calumny
Manchineal Tree: Falsehood.
Mandrake: Horror.
Maple: Reserve.
Marigold: Grief.
Marigold, African: Vulgar minds.
Marigold, French: Jealousy.
Marigold, Prophetic: Prediction.
Marigold and Cypress: Despair
Meadowsweet: Uselessness
Mesembryanthemum: Idleness.
Mezereon: Desire to please.
Michaelmas Daisy: Afterthought
Mock Orange: Counterfeit
Moschatel: Weakness
Mosses: Ennui
Mourning Bride: Unfortunate attachment. I have lost all
Moving Plant: Agitation
Mulberry Tree (Black): I shall not survive you
Mushroom: Suspicion.
Musk Plant: Weakness.
Mustard Seed: Indifference
Narcissus: Egotism
Nettle, Burning: Slander
Oleander: Beware
Pasque Flower: You have no claims.
Passion Flower: Religious superstition
Pea, Sweet: Departure
Peach Blossom : I am your captive
Pennyroyal: Flee away.
Peony: Shame. Bashfulness
Persimon: Bury me amid Nature’s beauties
Pine: Pity
Pink, Variegated: Refusal
Pomegranate: Foolishness
Poppy, White: Sleep. My bane. My antidote
Prickly Pear: Satire.
Pride of China: Dissension
Ranunculus, Wild: Ingratitude.
Raspberry: Remorse.
Ray Grass: Vice
Rhododendron (Rosebay): Danger. Beware
Rose, Carolina: Love is dangerous
Rose, Deep Red: Bashful shame.
Rose, Dog: Pleasure and pain
Rose, Unique: Call me not beautiful
Rose, Yellow: Decrease of love. Jealously.
Rose, York and Lancaster: War.
Rose, Full-blown, placed over two Buds: Secrecy
Rue: Disdain
Saffron: Beware of excess
Saffron, Meadow: My happiest days are past
Sainfoin: Agitation.
Saint John’s Wort: Animosity. Superstition.
Sardony: Irony
Scabious: Unfortunate love.
Scabious, Sweet: Widowhood
Snapdragon: Presumption.
Snowball: Bound
Sorrel, Wild: Wit ill-timed
Straw, Broken: Rupture of a contract
Sweetbrier, European: I wound to heal.
Sweetbrier, Yellow: Decrease of love
Syringa, Carolina: Disappointment
Tamarisk: Crime.
Tansy (Wild): I declare war against you.
Teasel: Misanthropy
Thistle, Fuller’s: Misanthropy
Thistle, Scotch: Retaliation.
Thorn Apple: Deceitful charms
Throatwort: Neglected beauty
Trefoil: Revenge
Tuberose: Dangerous pleasures
Tulip, Yellow: Hopeless love
Tussilage (Sweet-scented): Justice shall be done you
Whin: Anger
White Rose (dried): Death preferable to loss of innocence.
Whortleberry: Treason.
Willow, Creeping Love forsaken
Willow, Weeping: Mourning
Yew: Sorrow
Zinnia: Thoughts of absent friends
Aconite: Beware
Barberry: Bad temper
Carnation (Striped): No, Refusal, Sorry I can't be with you
Carnation (Yellow): Disappointment, Rejection
Cyclamen: Resignation, Good-bye
Daffodil: Regard, Unrequited love, Respect
Everlasting: Never ceasing memory
Geranium: Stupidity, Foll
Golden-Rod: Be cautious
Hyacinth (Purple): Sorrow, Please forgive me
Hyacinth (Yellow): Jealousy
Hydrangea: Thank you for understanding, Boastfulness, Heartlessnes
Marigold: Grief, Despair, Jealousy
Marigold (Common): Pretty love, Sacred, Affection, Caress, Sorrow
Monkshood: Beware, A deadly foe is near
Petunia: Resentment, Anger, Your presence soothes me
Phlox: Our souls are united
Poppy (General): Eternal sleep, Oblivion, Imagination
Rhododendron: Danger, Beware, I am dangerous
Roses (Assorted Colours): You're everything to me
Roses (Single Full Bloom): I Love You, I still love you
Sweet William: Grant me one smile
Black dahlia: Evil, dishonesty, betrayal, doom
Butterfly weed: Leave me, You’ve been warned
-
(Yeah some of these aren’t flowers. What of it?A few of them aren’t so negative- I thought about Jesse’s train of thought/outburst when picking them.)
(If you see any repeats No You Don’t.)
*buried under several flowers and at least one tree*
But ooh. ooh. ooooooooooooh these would be soooo much fun to play around with >:3
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Walking About
Beneath the gum trees' sturdy reach,
Blossoms unfurl, delicate and unique.
Waratahs, proud and fiery red,
Symbolizing love, their petals widespread.
Kangaroo Paws, with vibrant hues,
Stretching tall, as if reaching for the blues.
Their velvety touch, a tender caress,
A testament to nature's tender finesse.
Banksias, like flickering flames of passion,
Nurturing life, a vibrant procession.
Their intricate cones, a world to explore,
Teaching us resilience, forevermore.
Proteas, with petals like painted art,
Radiating strength from within their heart.
A testament to endurance, grace, and might,
Standing tall amidst the darkest night.
In the wild Outback, where eucalyptus sway,
Wildflowers bloom, coloring the way.
From the vibrant wattle to everlasting daisies,
Each petal tells a tale, inspiring amazement and praises.
For in these native blooms, I find a love profound,
A connection to the land, where beauty is found.
In their presence, I'm humbled, and deeply stirred,
A reminder of nature's love, forever endured.
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Hey Star! My brainrot for Strings of Fate is strong for some reason, and I was curious about this. What’s the cast favorite colors and why (if there’s a reason applicable). And while we’re on the topic, what’s their least favorite color?
Alrighty *cracks knuckles*
Yumi: Favorite: Forest Green (reminds her of both trees and snake scales)/Least Favorite: Doesn't have one
Madoka: Favorite: Cerulean (color of the ocean)/Least Favorite: Black (reminds her of oil/pollution)
Rose: Favorite: A tie between red and pastel pink (Valentine colors)/Least Favorite: Black or grey (dull and boring colors)
Shiro: Favorite: Chestnut Brown (doesn't have a reason, he just likes the color)/Least Favorite: Doesn't really have one.
Haruo: Favorite: Bright Yellow (A bright and cheery color. Reminds him of the circus that he worked at)/Least Favorite: Olive green (doesn't have a reason, he just thinks it's a gross color)
Misaki: Favorite: Doesn't have one (she loves any color that reminds her of plants or flowers)/Least Favorite: Also doesn't have one.
Kuro: Favorite: Evergreen (reminds him of pine trees)/Least Favorite: Cerulean (reminds him of the ocean, which he has a fear of).
Izanagi: Favorite: Coffee Brown (he loves coffee and it also reminds him of cafe's he used to perform at)/ Least Favorite: Gray (thinks it's a boring color)
Mei: Favorite: Electric Blue (She likes how energetic it looks)/Least Favorite: Doesn't have one.
Kana: Favorite: A tie between bright yellow and scarlet (colors of her race car)/Least Favorite: Hot Pink (thinks it's too girly)
Satoshi: Favorite: Bronze (no reason, just likes it)/Least Favorite: Ash and Smoke Gray (reminds him of smoke).
Daichi: Favorite: Cherry Blossom pink (reminds him of spring in his home village, doesn't tell people because he's embarrassed)/Least Favorite: Red (reminds him of blood. He hates killing unless he feels like the person absolutely deserves it)
Katsumi: Favorite: A tie between mint green and gold (reminds her of her favorite mint gum and winning)/Least Favorite: Silver or Bronze (reminds her of losing).
Tashiro: Favorite: Midnight Blue (just likes it)/Least Favorite: Yellow (too bright for him).
Yuri: Favorite: Ink Black (reminds her of both reading and writing literature)/Least Favorite: Yellow (same reason as Tashiro)
Aya: Favorite: Any pastel colors (she likes the aesthetics)/Least Favorite: Wine Red (reminds her of a time a client returned one of her dresses because they didn't know how to get a wine stain out. She knows that it's a petty reason)
Griffin: Favorite: Favorite: Purple (he just likes it)/Least Favorite: Metallic colors like gold, silver, bronze, copper, etc (he doesn't like things that remind him of his royal heritage)
Kanaye: Favorite: Dark Blue (just likes it)/Least Favorite: Orange (just doesn't like it)
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Stealing from @wizardysseus
home screen / last listened to / last pic taken
Tagging @bettydice @codenamecynic @dakoyone and anyone else who feels like it.
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carnations have thorns too || hrj
¤ pairing: huang renjun x reader
¤ genre: fluff, comedy, angst, college! au, childhood friends to lovers !au, friends to lovers! au, step brother's best friends! au, established relationship! hanahaki au! elements of enemies to lovers au!
¤ synopsis: after years and years of hopelessly pining for your step brother's best friend since you were six years old. life for you had gone from stealing roses from mrs. wong's garden to having sushi picnic dates on the park every thursday. to stop you from getting small for the sake of giving him roses, an eight year old renjun told your six year old self that he preferred carnations instead of roses. what he failed to tell you at that moment was that carnations have thorns too.
¤ warnings: angst, signs of unrequited love, heartbreak, swearing, mentions of blood, crying, arguments, mentions of loss of family member, mentions of coughing up blood, yangyang is a slightly shitty brother, renjun is sort of an ass, a character has a severe heart condition, MAJOR character death, mentions of parental abandonment, character death, SPOILERS FOR THE PENTHOUSE, throwing up petals and flowers, hospital scenes, accusations of cheating mentioned, neglection.
¤ word count : 28k
¤ a/n: special thanks to @lebrookestore for making the header and @roochcooch for beta reading this fic ♡!!
¤ DISCLAIMER: listen to this playlist to make your reading experience even better -> ♡
i. mrs. wong was more than happy to see young love blossom unlike her stolen roses
“Renjun! Renjun, look!” a seven year old you beamed as you ran up towards where the said boy and your step brother were leaning against the tree in your backyard with the nintendo DS on their hands. “Did you steal another flower from Mrs. Wong’s garden again?” your brother, Yangyang, laughed incredulously as he looked up from his nintendo DS for a brief moment to see the two ruby red roses in between your palms. “I wasn’t talking to you,” you deadpanned, shooting him an intense glare as you gave Renjun, the boy you were incredibly fond of, the roses in your hands.
“For you, my prince,” you said in a dramatically posh voice, sitting down as Renjun let out a small chuckle, shaking his head at you as he grabbed the roses from your palms with a pair of delicate fingers to prevent himself from getting pricked by the thorns on the stems. “You should really stop stealing from your neighbours garden, you’re lucky Mrs. Wong thinks you’re adorable or else you’d be dead by now,” he mumbled as he kneeled to reach your hands, examining the small cuts you got from sneaking around to pick those roses for him.
You shook your head, a wide grin filled with adoration never leaving your face as you stared into his concerned expression. “I like stealing roses for you,” you said, innocence and naivety lacing your tone as Renjun sighed heavily. “Gross, don’t act like that in front of me. Renjun, come here and help me find this gym badge for me, you’ve already passed this one right?” Yangyang shook his head, not looking up from his DS as he watched his chynx evolve on the screen, a hand mindlessly reaching into the basket of treats his dad had set up, fingers grabbing a small package of bubble gum.
“Later, I’ll drag your sister inside to patch her up,” the older boy responded, hand wrapping around your wrist as he gently pulled you back inside. You grinned childishly, sticking your tongue out teasingly at your step brother, earning an annoyed roll of his eyes. Following Renjun into the living room, he sat you down on the couch as he looked into the kitchen cabinets, scurrying through it to grab the first aid kid. “Y/n, I’m serious, you shouldn’t steal anymore even if it is for me,” Renjun informed you rather sternly, a soft expression spreading across his face as he plopped himself on the couch next to you, crossing his legs on the cushions as he reached over to grab your hands.
Shaking your head as you watched Renjun pour some alcohol into a cotton pad before lightly dabbing against the small wounds on your skin from the thorns. “As much as I love getting flowers from you, you can’t keep hurting yourself like this. Plus, stealing is bad, you’ll get in trouble for real one day,” Renjun pressed his lips together in a thin line as he reached over to grab a few bandaids, his touch gentle on your skin as he applied a bandaid on the gash on your palm. “You like them, right? There’s no harm in me getting more everyday if so,” you shrugged nonchalantly.
Your immense crush on Renjun wasn’t subtle in any way, as a matter of a fact, you’ve vividly started showing your fondness towards the older boy who was merely two years older than you the moment Yangyang had introduced you to him a year ago. When your mother left you with your stepfather, aka Yangyang’s father, the only person who had comforted you during your loneliest moments was Renjun despite the fact that his best friend used to have a clear distaste for you at the time. Ever since he had comforted you and made Yangyang apologize for being a mean brother, you couldn’t help but feel some sort of admiration towards the boy.
You didn’t know when you had started sneaking into Mrs. Wong’s garden to pick from the rose bush of her gardens, but the moment you saw her awed expression when you told her the reason why you were stealing her roses in the first place was enough to reassure you that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Clearly Renjun thought otherwise the moment he saw your hand filled with small scrapes.
Renjun shook his head at your stubbornness. “You’re so stubborn, you shouldn’t do bad things to yourself just for me, I feel sad that you’re getting hurt because of me,” he explained, his words causing you to frown as you looked down at your hands, letting Renjun apply more bandaids to the other hand as you mumbled a small apology under your breath to show how genuinely sorry you felt. The older boy looked up from your hand to the pouting expression on your face, something churning in his own chest at the sight of you being sulky as he sighed heavily in a silent attempt to curse himself for feeling guilt over scolding you for something for your own good.
“Besides,” he started, causing you to lift your head up to look back up at him.”I don’t really like roses anyways,” he shrugged, causing you to light up slightly. “You don’t like roses? Why didn’t you tell me?” you exclaimed, smacking the side of his arm, completely forgetting about how upset you were a few seconds prior. “What's your favorite flower? I’ll steal them from Mrs. Wong’s garden.” The awed, determination spread across your face was enough to show Renjun that you were more than serious and that you would, without hesitation, steal flowers just for him. Which was enough for the boy to rack through his mind to remember one of the flowers he was fond of but wasn’t a part of Mrs. Wong’s garden.
Poor woman was losing five flowers as each day went by and you were the only one behind it.
“I-” Renjun stuttered, the cogs and screws turning loudly in his brain as you blinked innocently at him in anticipation. “I like carnations?” he almost said it as if he was asking himself, unsure if your neighbour even had these flowers growing in her garden. “Carnations? What do they look like?” you asked, tilting your head to the side in curiosity and confusion. Renjun then placed the small bottle of alcohol back in the first aid kit before letting out a small ‘uh’ as he tried to recall the shape of the said flower he had seen on some random weekend with his parents.
Scratching the back of his head in confusion, he furrowed his own brows as he attempted to recall. “The ones I like are yellow, they have petals just like the ends of the dress you wore to my parent’s barbeque. It’s like a rose, but prettier!” He exclaimed, not 100% knowing what in the living world he was going on about. “Also, roses have thorns too! I think you should stop picking them unless you don’t want me to get hurt too, you know?” he sputtered out, instantly changing the subject as you furrowed your brows in wonder. “Maybe Mrs. Wong has them growing around in her-”
“No!”
Your eyes shot open at his sudden remark, causing both of your eyes to widen before Renjun let out a nervous chuckle. “It’s a flower that you can only find in other places like Italy and Greece!” he exclaimed with an affirming nod, even though he really does favor yellow carnations over any other flower, he was sure that half of the things spewing out of his mouth are utterly nonsensical, but what’s the harm in lying when it’ll keep you out of trouble.
“When I grow up, I’ll give you lots and lots of yellow carnations then,” you beamed, stretching your arms wide as you tossed them into the air to emphasize your terms of ‘lots and lots’. Renjun simply chuckled at this, shaking his head before patting your head softly with an understanding nod.
None of you realised that what he had failed to inform you was that carnations have thorns too.
ii. yangyang can suck his own dick for all i care
“Remind me how long you’ve been in love with this man again?”
“Since I was six years old, how many times do you want me to say it? I know you get off to it but that doesn’t mean you could call me in the middle of me doing physics just to make me repeat what you already know, prick.” You groaned against the telephone, pressing your knuckles against your temples as you closed your eyes with a heavy sigh, ignoring the physics notes you had jotted down for the past three hours as Olivia Rodrigo going ‘one step forward and three steps back’ penetrated your eardrums mercilessly through the speakers repeatedly. A loud snort could be heard from the other side of the line as your step brother snickered away like the cheeky asshole he was.
“I know, I just wanted to hear your simp of an ass say it again,” Yangyang sighed, the sound of his keyboard clicking aggressively, harmonising with his voice. “Why are you so surprised to hear Renjun and I are finally going out, isn’t it weird for you to hear that your best friend and your sister are seeing each other?” you deadpanned, placing your phone down and putting his call on speaker so you could multitask. “More importantly, why are you calling me? I’m literally in the room next to yours,” you added with furrowed brows, scratching out the mistake you accidentally made on your note with a pen, internally cursing at your professor for being too much of an ass to assign you with documents to refer to instead of actually teaching the class.
Yangyang let out a small ‘fuck’ as you could hear noises of him dying on the battlefield. “Weird? For me? You’re talking to the person who basically witnessed you literally- no, you deadass cried a shit ton when you were in your last year of primary because you saw Renjun holding hands with another girl, nothing’s weird to me anymore in this life,” he rolled his eyes, letting out a loud scream as an enemy popped up out of nowhere, the way his mic peaked made you wince. You groaned as the memories of you scratching and scribbling curse words on your diary out of pure heartbreak glossed through your mind, rubbing your face in frustration as you recalled actually full blown sobbing when you realised Renjun got his first girlfriend and that girl wasn’t you.
“Just because you remember it doesn’t mean you should bring it up and make me remember, asshole,” you groaned, lightly tapping your forehead as you tried to bonk the memories out of your head. “I live to make you remember dark, repressed memories,” he joked with a snort, his words accompanied with the sound of his finger aggressively clicking the mouse on his desk. “Plus, it’s just pretty surprising to see him ask you out after, like, 15 years of you shamelessly pinning after him like Bojack pining over Diane for like the entirety of the first three seasons of Bojack Horseman,” Yangyang shrugged, leaning back against his gaming chair as he waited for his game to reload to a new match, putting an arm behind his chair as he clicked his tongue.
Cracking your knuckles, you massaged your right hand with your left hand to ease some of the built up tension. “The hell is that supposed to mean?” you asked incredulously, pressing against the muscles of your palm as you stared back into your laptop screen where the document your professor had sent you shone brighter than Aladdin’s World. “It’s just pretty weird how you’ve been pinning and burdening him with your ass for like the past fifteen years, dude you called him a ‘fuck boy’ for supposedly ‘playing with your feelings’ throughout middle school because he was in a relationship with that girl. Then just one day, he just walked up to you and asked you out on a date?” Yangyang asked, his words holding small unintentional daggers to seep through your chest.
“This is why I like Renjun over you, you couldn’t have worded that any better, Yang?” you grumbled, attempting to mask your hurt with annoyance as you rolled your eyes at him. “Sorry,” Yangyang mumbled back in response before lightly clearing his throat to break the awkward tension, “I do have a point, don’t I? He’s basically your babysitter throughout your high school years and now that you’re in your first year of college you’re suddenly going out? Kind of sus, y/n,” your brother shrugged nonchalantly, reaching over to the bowl of candy on the nightstand beside his desk, unwrapping the plastic and plopping the sweet treat into his mouth.
“Are you implying that he’s playing with my feelings or something? Kind of low for you to assume so of your best friend,” you were starting to feel uncomfortable with where the conversation was going, it was almost too ominous. “No, no, Renjun isn’t the type to do that. But his last relationship, aka the one you had shit on for the most part of middle school, was also his first real relationship. The man was head over heels for that girl for as long as I could remember,” your brother explained, waving his head off before dropping it carelessly on the table when he realised you couldn’t see him. “Oh, so you’re basically calling me a rebound?” you deadpanned, tapping your nail against the wooden board of your desk.
There was a loud snap of Yangyang’s fingers, “that’s the word! Yeah, rebound!”
The way those words flew so easily out of his mouth made you want to kick him where the sun didn't shine. “Aren’t you being such an amazing brother right now? You deserve a medal, truly,” you stated with a sarcastic tone, clearly upset by his words. “Plus how the hell am I supposed to be a rebound? Didn’t his ex-girlfriend leave for China or something a couple years ago right before your senior year of high school?” you asked, scratching the back of your head as you scratched out another word from your notes. Yangyang scoffed simply, shaking his head.
“Oh you clearly don’t know Renjun, dude. Literally, the poor guy was playing a The Notebook. He was going to wait for ages for her and honestly, I actually thought he would with how long it’s been since she’s left,” Yangyang shook his head, causing your heart to feel even more heavy than it was moments prior to this conversation. Looking up at your wall, you stared longingly at the picture frame hanging on your wall. Inside of the frame was a picture of you on Renjun’s back as he gave you a piggy ride when you were both at summer camp, smiles wide and open as Yangyang attempted to throw mud at the two of you from afar (you can clearly see a blurry figure of the boy running after the two of you with a wet pile of mud in his hands).
“Listen, I know you may think I’m somewhat of an asshole for telling you in such a joking manner but I’m being serious,” his tone grew stern with concern, his teasing tone evaporated into thin air as you bit your lip and looked down at the pen flipping in between your fingers. “You really think I’m your best friend’s rebound? Come on, Yangs, we’ve all known each other since we were kids. I’ve been in the little sister zone for a large portion of my big, fat crush on him and I never hid it in any way, do you really think he’s doing this just to get over a girl he broke up with almost four years ago?” you chuckled nervously, taking the information in with a grain of salt despite your words.
You were trying to convince yourself, not Yangyang. “I guess Renjun isn’t the type of person to use you out of all people as a rebound but I still don’t trust this, it’s been a while since I’ve really asked him who he’s into,” you could hear the doubt in Yangyang’s voice but you shook any negative thoughts out of your head, not wanting to get upset over something that would ruin whatever relationship had begun with you and Renjun after years of craving it. “But still though, if he does anything. Literally anything, you tell me. I may be a shitty brother and we may not be related but I’m still your older brother, ya know?”
His words sent a small smile across your face, it was pretty rare for Yangyang to show his concern for you. Though, there was something in the back of your mind that made you doubt his words considering he’s never done anything to prove his concern other than use comforting words, besides, all he’s done so far to prove his concern was leave you at home all alone so he could disappear for days and days for who knows what. Well, he told you he was out partying on the other side of the city but at this point, you didn’t know if you could trust him with his words. But you do know that you could talk to him whenever you needed someone to hear you out.
“Hey Yang?”
“What?”
“This is exactly why you’re fucking single.”
“At least I don’t pine for someone hopelessly for almost two decades.”
“At least I wasn’t the one who bought mini crocs for Louis.”
“He looked adorable and you know it, how dare you.”
“Suck c-”
A loud notification from your phone cuts you off abruptly, causing you to look down at the phone screen to see who had contacted you. ‘Speak of the devil’, you thought as a small smile stretched across your face at the sight of Renjun’s contact name popping up on your lock screen. “Are you going to finish that?” Yangyang asked with a small snort, noticing how you had paused on your words all of a sudden. “I’m in love,” you sighed heavily as you opened the chat to see a random picture of Renjun at his art class, it appeared he had accidentally dipped his paintbrush into his tea mug instead of his painting cup again and honestly, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of adoration surging through your veins at this.
“I know, but at what cost, really?” Yangyang sighed as if he had heard you said this about a thousand times in his life, you can’t blame him thought, after 15 years of harboring feelings for a certain boy you can’t help but express it publicly the moment you’re finally allowed to let those feelings lose like a butterfly in a jar. Not paying any mind to the conversation you and Yangyang had prior to this exact moment, you giggled slightly as Renjun sent a few more pictures of his latest art work along with a few sad emojis to pay respects to his now inedible tea.
You really couldn’t believe yourself when you realised after 15 years, Renjun finally sees you. Even though nothing much in your relationship has changed other than the fact that you have somewhat of a label now, the fact that you and the boy you’ve been daydreaming about every other day since you were able to daydream was enough to get your heart doing somersaults like those performers in the circus, even though you’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, it never failed to bring a smile to your face. “By the way, can you get me some Starbucks?” Yangyang’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, your smile turning upside down instantaneously.
“Is this why you called me?” you deadpanned, leaning back against your chair as you rubbed the space in between your eyes in irritation. “I literally despise you,” you exclaimed with a laugh of disbelief, shaking your head, disappointed but not really surprised. After all, it’s not like this is the first time he’s done this : call you to check up on you like a genuine older brother should, only to expect you to do something else for him afterwards. You weren’t sure if his start-up talks were genuine concern or just some sort of gimmick to appear not like an asshole, but you’d like to believe that it was genuine.
Cursing under your breath, you rolled your eyes. “Can’t you order shit like a normal person would?” you asked in true disbelief. “For someone who goes out every night to party, you sure are a lazy dude,” you commented, earning a small ‘pshhh’ from the other line as he shrugged off your comment as a joke. “Is that a ‘no’? I’m giving you this opportunity to go outside and move, little sister. Get yourself a treat while you’re at it, you’ve been working on your notes for way too long anyways.” You could hear the mischievous, shit-eating grin on your brother’s face from across the phone as you stood up from your chair and walked out of your room to enter his, considering his room was literally next to yours.
The sound of you bursting into his room was enough to make the older boy jump in his gaming chair, head shooting up at you in surprise. “Oh, hell. What the fuck?” he exclaimed, placing a hand on his chest. “Get your own Starbucks for once, prick,” you hissed teasingly, throwing some cash in front of him before hanging up his call in front of him and leaving the room, slamming the door behind you as you returned to your room with that ugly seed Yangyang had planted into your head, waiting for the right time to grow.
iii. you’ll get hurt if you keep holding it, y/n.
“This one looks fancy, do you wanna try something new?” you asked, lifting a small glass jar with a sparkly, purple scented candle inside of it.
Renjun had asked you if you wanted to go to the nearest IKEA store to accompany him on restocking his supply of tea and scented candles, of course, you weren’t one to say ‘no’ to Huang Renjun. “Jisung gave me that one before. Trust me, as much as I loved Jisung’s gift, it tasted like absolute shit,” he scrunched his nose in disgust, shaking his head as he surfed through the shelf for the usual brand he had been buying for the past couple of months. Furrowing your brows with a light laugh, you turned to the boy with a look of confusion.
“Tasted?” you repeated his words with a confused tone, leaning your head to the side as you let out a small giggle. “Fuck- I meant, smelled! See, this is what happens if I don’t get my usual morning tea,” Renjun cursed, rolling his eyes at you with a bashful smile on his face as you both walked to another aisle, trying to spot a certain candle with a familiar black bow on the top of the lid. “Didn’t you order a lemon tea before we walked here at Starbucks?” you asked, pausing in your step as you grabbed a long, twisted peach candle, taking a small sniff before humming merrily at the fresh smell of peaches and vanilla coming from the wax.
The Chinese boy in front of you clicked his tongue, avoiding your eyes as he finally found the brand he was looking for. “I bought it for you, dumbass. I’m a considerate person, you’d think I dragged you to this boring candle shopping session without treating you to some Starbucks? What do you take me for? An asshole?” Renjun mumbled shyly, avoiding your shocked expression to grab three more candles from the shelf and put it in the small basket he was holding. A giddy smile stretched across your face as you felt your heart do somersaults inside of your chest like a performer in a circus. “Is the Huang Renjun being sweet right now? Unbelievable,” you cooed, taking a few steps forward to gingerly pinch his cheeks with glee.
Renjun pressed his lips together into a thin line to keep himself from getting flustered as he looked down on his shoes. “I think I’d like to go back to that era of our lives where you keep biting my arm like a raccoon whenever I come over,” he muttered under his breath, causing you to gasp dramatically in response. “Is this you admitting that you have some sort of biting kink? How scandalous,” you placed a hand on your chest with wide eyes boring into his, pointing at his face with the long, wonky candle in your other hand. The deadpanned expression on Renjun’s face was enough for you to break out into a small fit of laughter.
“I physically despise you, get away from me,” he pursed his lips together bitterly as he walked away from you without hesitation and down the aisle to get to the cashier. “Hey, you brought my ‘Renjun Slander’ era, I fight back with Renjun slander,” you exclaimed with a light chuckle as you jogged up to him, grabbing him by the sleeve to stop him from speed-walking away from you. “Why are you touching me? I’m sorry, I don’t know you,” Renjun acted, keeping a straight face as he jokingly shrugged your fingers off of his sleeve before sashaying away to the cashier, where a poor employee was witnessing you waving a single, peach coloured candle in the air as you ran after the sulking boy.
“I will literally bite you again if you keep saying you don’t know me,” you mumbled, reaching over to poke his sides as you stepped in line right behind him. Renjun flinched at the small touch, a tickling feeling running through his sides as he glared at you almost menacingly before cupping his side (the one you had poked) with his hand before pressing the entirety of his arm against his other side to keep you from poking him in any other ticklish spots of his. “Kinky,” he responded back with a mischievous grin of his own, turning his head back as he wiggled his eyebrows at you, causing you to roll your eyes.
As the person in front of Renjun finally walked away with his purchase, Renjun set the basket on the counter so that the cashier could scan the barcodes of his candles. “Are you really going to get that candle, though?” Renjun asked, looking back to see you still holding the candle like it was the last cheese stick on the counter. Your head shooting up to make eye contact with him, letting out a small ‘huh?’ before looking down at the candle you were holding in your hand. “Oh, yeah, of course,” you nodded mindlessly, taken slightly aback from the change of topic.
He reached his hand down to snatch the candle away from yours to put it on the check out counter before fishing out his wallet from the pocket of his jacket. “This too, please,” he told the cashier as he searched through his wallet for his credit card, tapping it on the counter. “Hey, you already paid for the lemon tea, you should at least let me pay for my own candle,” you whined, stepping forward to stand right beside him as you watched the cashier rolled her eyes at you to stuff both of your items into a tote bag as Renjun gave you a soft smile. “I know for a fact that you’re too much of a broke college student to afford this,” he cooed at you, giving a teasing look as he handed his card to the cashier.
“That is ridiculous, of course I could affor-oh what the actual fuck?” your pupils dilated as you grabbed the candle from the cashier counter before the cashier could actually put it into the totebag to snatch a glimpse at the price above the barcode sticker. Ignoring the mean glare the cashier sent your way, your jaw dropped to the floor at the absurd price on the candle. “That much for a wonky candle?” you exclaimed as Renjun thanked the cashier politely, grabbing the totebag before wrapping his fingers gently around your wrist to pull you out of the store before your mouth could spill out anymore nonsensical bullshit that could get both of you banned from the store.
“Jesus, how are you able to afford all this? Aren’t you in your last year of art school? Don’t they give you, like, big ass final projects for your last semester? How are you not broke from rent, art supplies and scented candles?” You exclaimed with an incredulous tone, eyes wide as you let Renjun, never letting go of his soft hold on your wrist, walk you down the sidelines of town and into the park where he had parked his car. Renjun chuckled as he reached over the trunk to place his tote bag before pulling out another bag filled with containers of food and small desserts you had prepared for a good time at the park.
“First tip is to not waste your money to gamble on a game to get 2d characters,” Renjun snickered, handing you the large blanket hanging off of the back seat before closing his trunk. You purse your lips as you could practically feel your own wallet screaming in agreement in your minibag, rolling your eyes at the boy. “Shut up, you don’t understand how it feels to gacha, you don’t even play Genshin Impact. You don’t know how hot Xiao is!” you exclaimed with a pointed look, watching him lock his car with a simple button before leading you to an empty space where the grass was shaded by the leaves of the green trees.
“Exactly why I refuse to play the game,” he shrugged nonchalantly as you tucked the candle you were holding into your pocket before laying out the blanket across the pale shade of green grass, tugging the ends to get rid of the overlapping fabric. Renjun then laid the bag in the middle of the blanket before sitting down, crossing his legs over each other as he reached his hands into the bag to pull out tupperwares of sushi and sashimi along with a small dessert box you both had purchased an hour prior to your trip to IKEA. “That’s not what you said when your computer failed to download the game,” you snickered, pulling the wonky candle out of your pocket before sitting right beside him and grabbing a pair of chopsticks, not forgetting to hand him one as he clicked open the lids.
Renjun clicked his tongue as he reached down to grab a piece of sushi with his chopsticks and stuffing it in between your lips to stop you from talking. “I thought we came here to have some quality time with each other, not insult your questionable spending habits,” he replied with a sweet smile, the way his lips curled upwards having a terrible effect on your heart despite his offensive words towards your wallet and pride. Not wanting to talk with a mouthful of food, you simply glared at him as he let out a soft giggle and took a bite of his own.
Pushing his hair back with his hand, he looked down at the candle you were holding with your free hand that was practically refusing to let it go. “Why are you holding that candle like that? It won’t grow legs and run away from you no matter how much it secretly wants to. For fucks sakes, put the damn candle down,” he swallowed his food down mid sentence to keep himself from choking as he patted your knee in a weak attempt to coax you to releasing your vice on the poor candle, furrowing his brows as he swallowed the food in his cheeks.
Your eyes lit up at the mention of the candle, completely forgetting that you were holding it as if it were your little child all this time. Humming loudly, you placed your chopsticks on the lid beside the tupperware as you reached your hand into your mini bag to fetch out a small matchbox without a single word coming out of your lips. Grabbing a match from the box, you placed the candle down on Renjun’s lap, silently indicating for him to grab a hold of it while you lit the match. “Trust me, this smells so good,” you said with a bright smile as Renjun leaned over to feed you a piece of raw salmon.
“Remember the promise I made back when we were still kids before my whole ‘Renjun is a fuckboy’ slander era?” you joked, scratching the tip of the match against the side of the match box repeatedly until a flame ignited the wooden stick. “Which one? You made quite a lot of promises back then,” he chuckled, his eyes crinkling as a flustered smile stretched across his face, shaking his head as he grabbed a bite of raw tuna for himself. “Welp, I’m going to repeat my promise right now, on more serious terms this time, though.” You grinned at him, feeling yourself get a little too giddy.
Grabbing the candle laying on his lap with the lit match in your hand, you carefully lit it up as you swallowed the fish inside of your mouth. “See this candle?” you grinned, feeling your own heart race at the cheesy words you knew you were about to say to the boy who had his cheeks stuffed with food.
Renjun hummed, nodding as he reached over for the flask on the pocket beside the bag to drink as he silently gestured to you to move on with a small wave of his hand. “I promise to stay with you much like the fire igniting on this candle," your lips curled into a wide smile as you held it close to your face, ignoring how the wax was slowly melting and dripping onto your fingers. You didn't mind though, the way your expression brightened up like the fire in your hands the moment Renjun’s fingers gently wrapped around your hand was almost heartbreaking to see.
The Chinese boy pulled your hand towards his with a soft expression on his face, looking down at the candle with an unreadable expression spread across his features as his pupils watched the fire burn before gazing down at the wax trickling down the candle and onto your hand. Without another word, he pressed his lips together to gently blow out the candle, inevitably putting the fire out in an instant, which caused you to frown.
His fingers slowly pulled away from your hand as a wave of sadness glossed through your eyes at the now smoking candle, your pupils moving from his unreadable expression to the dead candle in your hand. You weren't sure but you swore you saw Renjun give you a soft smile that almost didn't reach his eyes before he looked back down at the food in front of you, you were probably seeing things.
"You'll get hurt if you keep holding it, y/n."
iv. xiao nor xingqiu would approve of you, yeeun.
“How the hell am I going to afford pulling for Xiao?” you groaned, laying your forehead on the counter before laying your phone on the table. Yangyang and his terrible gaming habits had introduced you to this popular RPG game called Genshin Impact when you were hanging out for once, quite ironic how the one time Yangyang decided to spend time with his little sister instead of going out of town for parties or staying over his friends’ place for ‘guys night’ (his words, not mine) he decided to introduce you to an RPG game that elicits a terrible gambling habit.
Yeeun snorted as she placed the bottle of vanilla pumps beside the other bottles, rolling her eyes as she watched you farm for the gems in the game that allows you to do one pull on the gambling system. “How are you able to afford anything in general? I swear, that Xingqiu acrylic stand in your room did not come from your own wallets with how much college debt you have at the moment,” your best friend snickered, sliding into the staff room with you to exchange shifts with another employee. Ever since you’ve gotten extremely obsessed with this game, you’ve been playing it with every single free time you have, even during lunch breaks at work.
You rolled your eyes, giving her a pointed look before you looked down at your phone to attack another monster coming your character’s way. “Just because something looks like it didn’t come from my wallet doesn’t mean it did,” you mumbled under your breath, grumbling slightly as you flickered your eyes up at Yeeun momentarily before averting your eyes back down on your phone screen. “Speaking of coming from wallets, that muffin on your hand didn’t come from your wallet either,” you commented with a cheeky grin, gesturing to the blueberry muffin your best friend was unwrapping.
The girl in front of you paused, glaring daggers at you before rolling her eyes and proceeded to unwrap her muffin. “Hey, this is a cheap muffin. No one’s going to notice. You’re literally on the brink of spending a hundred dollars on a 2d character,” she commented, taking a mouthful of the pastry and narrowing her eyes at you. “Also, you know very well that that acrylic stand of Xingqiu isn’t from your own money,” she pointed out once again, causing you to purse your lips in response. “Fine, Renjun got in line for three hours for me during the limited edition festival on the other side of town, but still!” you exclaimed, ignoring how the reminder of the Chinese boy standing in line for such long hours just so you could get a limited edition merchandise made your heart do somersaults in your chest.
Rolling her eyes, Yeeun waved her hand at you nonchalantly. “Don’t remind me. I literally went through hell listening to you screaming, crying, throwing up, back flipping your ass off at 3 am because your childhood unrequited first love bought you an acrylic stand of the 2d version of him,” she shook her head in denial, taking another bite of her muffin before shutting her eyes tight as if she wanted to forget the oh-so-dreadful memory from her brain. You almost choked on air at her words as your eyes grew wide with surprise, “the hell do you mean ‘an acrylic stand of the 2D version if hin’?” you asked incredulously.
“You’re wording it as if Renjun’s some kind of weird narcissist and I’m some kind of creepy stalker,” you purse your lips in mock offense, chuckling slightly to show that you were completely joking. Yeeun let out a light laugh, waving her muffin around with small disagreeing hums. “Renjun is a good guy, don’t get me wrong. But you can’t deny, you were lowkey a stalker back when you were still in the sibling zone,” she commented, giving you a wide, bittersweet grin to emphasize the sardonic tone she used. You let out a chuckle of disbelief, putting an offended hand on your chest.
“This is slander.”
Yeeun let out a scoff of disbelief. “Dude, come on, tell me straight to my face you did not keep that Xingqiu standee right on your desk beside your laptop because that thing is literally Renjun,” she exclaimed while moving her hands around to dramatize the context of her words. You furrowed your brows, leaning forward in confusion. “Dude, no,” you deadpanned simply with a firm shake of your head. “Dude, yes.” she hummed with a nod.
“Come on, they’re both short-”
“You’re literally insulting both of their heights, right now.”
“They’re somewhat interested in arts-”
“Xingqiu is literally a nerd.”
“They talk somewhat similarly and they’re both Chinese!”
You gave her a concerned expression, scrunching your face in confusion as Yeeun gave you enthusiastic jazz hands. “Have you been overworking yourself with all those assignments again?” you asked slowly, enunciating the vowels as if you were talking to some kind of toddler. Yeeun frowned at this, reaching over to smack your hand, making you giggle. “I’m serious! Dude, he literally looks like Xingqiu or maybe that mouse guy,” she said, sitting back down and leaning back against her chair to finally take the last bite of her muffin.
Furrowing your brows in even more confusion, you replayed her words in your head. “Mouse guy?” you asked with a tilt of your head, earning an annoyed groan from your friend. “You know! The one with the big hat!” she exclaimed, jumping in her seat to make a point like a little child, trying to get her point across. “Did you mean scaramouche?” you asked with an incredulous laugh, pressing the home button on your phone to exit the game considering it drains your battery quite fast when you leave it untouched. “Whatever. The short guy with the bowl cut and extreme anger issues, potato, tomato,” she let out a small ‘pfft’, waving her hand off.
“Hey, Renjun doesn’t have anger issues!” you exclaimed. Now it was your turn to jokingly smack your best friend on her arm.
“Sure,” she snorted. “That’s because it's you, girl. Did you really think he would use you to let his anger out? I mean, you’re even more irritating than your brother but deadass, that boy is too soft for you,” she snorted, standing up from her chair as she crumpled the plastic wrapping of the muffin she had just eaten into a ball. “Sure, Yeeun, keep dreaming,” you rolled your eyes, grabbing your phone and turning it back on so that you could text said boy on what to eat later after you finish work for the day and before you could get to class.
y/n at 11:43: hey whatcha wanna eat today? I was thinking of some good sushi before class, but im down for other stuff. Wbu?
junnie<3 at 11:44: oh i alr ate. U can just go eat urself today
‘His texts are as short and as simple as always,’ you couldn’t help but think to yourself with a small smile stretched across your face. “Hey, I’m going to go wash up for a bit, okay? Don’t miss me too much,” she winked, snapping her fingers in front of your face to get your momentary attention. “If boss man asks where I went, stop texting loverboy for one second and tell him, I beg of you,” she intertwined her own fingers together in a pleading motion, referencing to how at one point, you were too busy with talking (to a certain boy on your phone) with your boss that you forgot to inform him that Yeeun had class for the day.
Safe to say, your boss assumed she was skipping work and gave her a good scolding the next day. Of course, you made it up to her by actually covering her shifts and treating her to her favorite ice cream parlor. You let out a soft laugh at the soft memory, shaking your head before giving her a firm thumbs up to reassure her that you won’t make the same silly mistake, sighing heavily in relief, your best friend leaves without another word. The moment she left, you looked back down on your phone to reread Renjun’s text.
‘Wait, he ate already? It’s not even 12 yet, that’s kinda weird,’ you thought to yourself, looking up at the clock ticking on the wall, completely forgetting that you had a time on the top corner of your phone screen. ‘Maybe he ate food in the school cafeteria?’ you shrugged to yourself.
y/n at 11:50: wait wha? U ate alr without me? </3 watchu eat tho i thought u didn’t like food from the school cafeteria
y/n at 11:50: u said it tastes like rat food LMAO
Putting your phone down on the table, you placed your hands on your cheeks as you looked down at the screen, patiently waiting for his response. “Hey y/n, can you stop playing your games for a moment? The wifi has been a little shit lately and I can’t even access my account,” one of your coworkers called out from the doorway of the staffroom, causing your head to shoot up in response. “Oh, I’m not playing my games, though?” you leaned your head to the side in confusion, earning a small ‘huh?’ from your coworker, who then scratched their heads in confusion.
“Plus, I’m using my own data,” you added with a small shrug. “That’s weird,” your coworker mumbled under her breath before exiting the staff room. Looking back down on your phone, you realised Renjun had replied back to you, causing you to physically lit up, unlike the flickering, cheap light bulb in the staff room that was the only thing illuminating the terrifying, horror movie-esque room you were in at the moment.
junnie <3 at 11:56: oh no lmao u right i would never eat cafeteria food. Thats gross
junnie <3 at 11:57: Ningning brought me some food before I got to school a couple hours ago, u can have lunch without me today I have a few assignments to finish today
junnie <3 at 11:57: i gtg now tho i have another class in a few minutes
junnie <3 at 11:58: bye bye <3
Now, there were two things surging through your brain at the moment. One, your mind was practically screaming and screeching at you like a stray cat in an alleyway from the small heart he had sent you at the end of his little ‘bye bye’. Honestly, the effect this boy had on you was astronomical; it was almost too dangerous for your heart. Renjun rarely send you messages that ends with hearts considering you were the one who usually uses an excessive amount of emojis as a form of dramatizing and emphasizing the emotion and context behind your texts (as you call it: the art and essence of texting [insert a few sparkle emojis right here]) and seeing him send one always got your heart in a twist.
You were on the brink of singing Taylor Swift songs to him and you weren’t joking.
However, the other thing on your mind was simple.
Who’s Ningning?
“Ningning?” you mumbled to yourself, furrowing your brows. You swore as if you had heard that name before, it sounded so familiar yet so distant to recall. Sending him a small ‘bye bye’ back with a bunch of excessively dramatic heart emojis, you shut your phone off as you tried to recall who this ‘Ningning’ person was. Was it one of his friends? You didn’t recall him ever talking about someone named Ningning before, must be a new friend?
There was something suspiciously familiar with this person’s name that you could not grasp. And frankly, you don’t have the time to grasp it either when Yeeun slumped back into the empty IKEA seat across the wonky table you were sitting on with a heavy sigh. “I saw Brooke and Taeyong having one of their cute ice cream dates again when I went to the restroom. I swear, the universe is trying to shove it in my face that I’m too single for my own good,” she whined, leaning forward to place her chin on the edge of the table as she let out an inhumane noise consisting of weird staggering breaths mixed with a tired groan.
Smiling softly, you raised your brows, shutting off your phone and tucking it in your pocket before crossing your arms on the table. “Yeah? Sucks to be you, really. The universe really has it out for you and your single ass,” you chuckled, shaking your head in mock sympathy before raising your hand up to lean your chin against your palm. “Come on, you’re a ‘girlboss’, aren’t you? Chin up, best friend, you don’t need no man in your life right now, plus, I don’t think you’ll be able to tackle all of those business assignments while being in a committed relationship,” you snickered, leaning over to pat her head like a little child.
Minus the fact that she was literally a few months older than you.
“Bitch, you’re being condescending. Stop it. Or else I’ll literally make a playlist for you and Renjun and make Mitski’s Me and My Husband as the first song on that playlist,” she threatened weakly, swatting your hand away from her head as her eyes glared daggers into your soul.
“Foul play, best friend,” you responded with a small chuckle of defeat. “My acrylic Xingqiu stand would not approve.”
“Yeah, yeah. Your acrylic 2D boyfriend wouldn’t approve, I know.”
“That’s Xiao not Xingqiu, there’s a difference. Now you have both Xiao and Xingqiu disapproving of you, hot damn, you’re supposed to be my best friend here.”
v. spoiler filled ramen date nights (SPOILERS FOR THE PENTHOUSE KDRAMA)
“Have I ever told you that I care and trust you with my whole life?” you sighed dreamily, leaning back against the cushions surrounding your figure as you leaned your back against the headboard of your bed. Renjun laughed lightly, shaking his head as he kicked the door close behind him, careful to not spill any of the broth swishing around in the bowls on both of his hands. “Considering the fact that you literally just told me that because I brought you ramen, I wish you didn’t,” he joked, sitting down on the bed beside you, handing you your own bowl of ramen.
You grinned giddily as you started blowing your noodles to cool it off. “What did I miss?” he asked, carefully putting his own bowl in front of him so that he could cross his legs on the bed, eyes looking up at the TV screen showing a scene from the third season of the currently famous kdrama called The Penthouse : War in Life. “Have you finished season two though? Wouldn’t want you to end up getting spoiled,” you asked in a bittersweet tone, leaning your head to the side at the boy who froze in place at your words.
“Just like how you spoiled the Endgame movie for me,” you added with a sly snap of your fingers, referencing that iconic day of Renjun spoiling Iron Man’s death on his own birthday right in front of you. Renjun almost choked on air at the reminder, dropping his chopsticks in his bowl before cupping his mouth with the back of his hand as he looked away to laugh in embarrassment. “Could you stop bringing that up, I said I was sorry,” he whined, snickering in between his words as he turned his head back to make eye contact.
The bittersweet smile remained unwavering on your lips, eyes narrowing and diluting right at him as you shook your head innocently. “You were literally ranting about how you hated spoilers and spoiling people before you exclaimed how people were spoiling about-” you cut yourself off by snapping your fingers loudly once again, “iron man’s iconic death scene. But alas, I’m a nice and considerate person, therefore I won’t spoil you anything today,” you reached over to pinch his cheek gingerly as Renjun let out another fit of nervous giggles, swatting your hand away from his face.
Leaning over to grab the remote, you placed it right beside him. “We can watch whatever episode you had left off, so you don’t ruin your kdrama watching experience the same way you destroyed my endgame watching experience,” your condescending tone was enough for him to let out another snort as he slurped up his noodles. “Hey, I’m good with continuing whatever scene you’re in right now. I know enough information to proceed with whatever the hell is happening on screen,” he exclaimed with a bright smile, smacking his hand on your knee as you purse your lips at the Chinese boy.
“I still can’t believe Ha Yoon Chul was Rona’s biological father though,” he commented under his breath, shaking his head in awe as he took another bite of his own ramen, blowing out some air when he realised it was still too hot to consume. “I still can’t believe Yoonhee died,” you mumbled as you reached over to press the play button to resume the scene you were watching. There was a sudden pause between the two of you as Cheon Seo Jin started screaming at the top of her lungs on your TV screen, causing you to grimace slightly at the way her voice cracked.
“Geez, why does she scream so much? And woman still wonders why her vocal chords are on the brink of self destruction,” you commented, scooting back against the pillows behind you to get into a more comfortable position with a small huff as you gathered some noodles to stuff them into your mouth. “Oh Yoonhee died?” Renjun asked, slowly turning his head towards you with an eerie tone, causing you to stop eating midchew to look at him with eyes blinking owlishly. Slurping the last bits of noodles hanging in between the corners of your lips, you pressed your fingers to your lips as you let out a soft laugh.
“You didn’t know?” you asked incredulously with a mouthful of food.
“I literally just finished season 2!” the boy exclaimed with a whine, waving his chopsticks around dramatically as he paused to take in the information you had accidentally spoiled for him, snapping the two wooden sticks together as the gears in his head turned. “Wait, if Yoonhee died, then what happened to Rona?” he exclaimed, patting your knee rather aggressively in curiosity as you grinned mischievously. “I don’t mind restarting the whole entirety of season 3, I’m only halfway through anyways,” you said with a nonchalant shrug, exiting off of the episode before switching to the first episode.
“With how much the writers revived Su Ryeon in the past three seasons, I have faith they’ll find a way to somehow revive her though. She can’t truly be dead,” he muttered under his breath as you pressed the play button on the remote with a soft snort. “We’ll see about that,” you nodded with a bitter laugh, having instant war flashbacks to episode 4 of the third season and how you bawled your eyes out like a newborn baby by the end of the episode.
With a sigh of disbelief, the Chinese boy sitting beside you shook his head as he took another mouthful of his noodles. “I guess we could call this even for the whole Iron Man spoiler thing?” he smiled sweetly at you in a futile attempt to make you let it go, knowing full well that your stubborn self would never let it go. “You wish. In comparison to Iron Man, Yoonhee’s dead is absolutely nothing. You’ll get over it once we cry unceremoniously to Bae Rona’s reaction to her deceased mother,” you scoffed with a small wave of your hand.
Sighing heavily once again, Renjun nodded in defeat, succumbing to his fate as he swallowed down the food. “Guess there’s no escaping it,” he shook his head as he focused his eyes on the screen where the penthouse opening theme started to play, majestical cello music harmonizing with some random woman’s voice synchronizing with the storm going on the screen. You both sat there in silence as you watched the episode, fully immersed in the plot as Joo Dan Tae, the main antagonist of the series, concocted a true plan to get himself and the other members of the Hera Club out of prison.
After about thirty or so minutes into the first episode, you couldn’t help but flicker your eyes to the pretty boy beside you occasionally. A small, genuine smile stretched across your face as you observed his features softly. As creepy as it sounds, you still couldn’t believe that your feelings were finally requited from your first and only love, you couldn’t believe that you were both right here in your room side by side, eating ramen and watching your favorite kdrama (minus the fact that most of the time, said kdrama would make the both of you attempt to resist the urge at throwing whatever was in your line of vision at the tv out of pure rage).
It was almost as if you were dreaming. A dream you wouldn’t want to wake up from, even though you mostly spend most of your time having playful arguments or doing things that you’ve been doing ever since you were kids. It was still unbelievable that the boy beside you likes you as much as you like him (maybe not as much considering you’ve been harboring feelings for the older boy for more than a whole decade, but your relationship was just starting after all, there’s plenty of room for feelings to grow) and the thought of it made your heart all giddy like all over again, truly takes you back to the rather cringe worthy era of you shamelessly stealing your neighbours flowers just for him.
“Hey Junnie?” you asked quietly, a soft smile stretched across your face as you scooted closer to the boy, leaning your chin on his shoulder, startling him for a brief moment.
He turned his head towards yours, a charming smile of his own spreading across his face as he stared into your eyes with sparkles of light shimmering his own. He hummed softly in response, completely unconcerned with the fact that both of your faces were barely centimeters apart from each other. “As much as I love our usual penthouse ramen dates, can we change things up a bit occasionally?” you asked rather hesitantly, your voice growing bashful as you wandered your eyes up to his two toned hair, adoring how he had tucked the curled black behind his ears even though they’re practically falling off of it to frame his face like a pretty canvas painting.
“Dates? So this is what they’re called?” he teased, earning a soft smack on the arm from you in response. The boy laughed in amusement, shaking his head to signify that he was merely joking before reaching over to pat your knee. “Emphasize on ‘changing things’ up, please,” he coaxed with a small chuckle, rolling his wrist around, indicating for you to proceed with your words. Huffing softly, you moved to lean your cheek against his shoulder so that you were facing the tv as well, nuzzling against the fabric of his cardigan as his expensive cologne filled your senses.
“I’ve been thinking,” you started, a giddy smile spreading across your face as you suppressed the need to let out a groan of embarrassment for wanting something so cheesy. “Whenever the stars decide to align and our professors miraculously decide to not burden us with a shit ton of assignments. You have your usual arts project and I have my own stuff and-” you didn’t realise that you were practically rambling before him until he gingerly reached a hand over to pinch your cheek, a habit he had developed over the years of ‘babysitting your childish ass’ as he would say.
“Stop beating around the bush and tell me,” he laughed lightly.
“Sorry, I get nervous when I talk about stuff like this,” you grinned bashfully, biting your tongue from saying anything embarrassing as he let out a light giggle. “I was just thinking, maybe we could go to the planetarium sometime whenever college work lightens up? I remember how much you loved astronomy and I like looking at stars, so I thought it’d be good to go there sometime whenever we have some sort of free time,” you shrugged casually despite the fact that your heart was on the brink of bursting out of your own chest.
After a few seconds of almost agonizing silence, you heard the boy beside you let out a small heartwarming chuckle that almost sent your soul skyrocketing to the afterlife as you felt him lean the side of his head right on top of yours and nodded slowly. “Why are you so nervous? We’ve been to the planetarium before we started seeing each other, there’s no need to get all shy in front of me when we practically went there together before,” he laughed lightly, nuzzling his head against yours as he watched the chaos that is the Penthouse series unfolds on the screen, not even feeling a pinch of anger from the character’s infuriating actions as he usually does.
Kissing your teeth, you suppressed the urge to smack your head against the pillows behind you. “But that was with Yangyang, I meant like- just the two of us. Plus, the last time we went to the planetarium was during our high school field trip,” you mumbled under your breath, a pout adorning your lips as you gripped the sheets in between your fingers tightly as you basked in embarrassment. “Alright, alright, we can go,” his joyous laughter was like music to your ears as he reached his hand up to ruffle your hair comfortingly, silently reassuring you that he was just teasing.
At this point, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling as you leaned closer towards him, the sides of your pinkies making contact as you let out a small giddy hum in response. “I’ll be looking forward to it,” you exclaimed, pulling away from him to give him the happiest expression he’s ever seen on your face. Renjun reached over to pinch your cheek, muttering a small ‘cute’ under his breath before nodding briefly.
“You know, I-”
There’s the sudden loud ringing of Renjun’s phone, alerting him that someone was calling him.
Fishing out his phone from the pocket of his cardigan, he spared a small glance at the contact name before instantly swiping up to accept the call without hesitation. “Hello?” he called out, eyes that were filled with adoration merely seconds ago was now filled to the brim with concern and worry as he fell silent to hear the caller from the other line. “Alright, I’ll be right there,” he nodded, pressing his lips together in a firm line as he grabbed the bowl on the mattress as he hung up on the phone, causing you to be slightly taken aback and confused.
“What’s wrong?” you asked, grabbing your own empty bowl of ramen broth as you stood up alongside him, not forgetting to press the pause button on the remote. “Ningning needs me right now,” he said bluntly as he exited your room to head to the kitchen with you trailing along behind him. “Ningning?” you furrowed your brows, pressing your lips together in confusion as you followed him to the kitchen, placing your bowl on the counter as you watched him place his own bowl in the sink, washing his hands immediately as you heard the sink run.
“She called to tell me she needs someone to accompany her for a check up,” he informed you, turning off the sink to wipe his hands against the rag beside him, turning around to give you what seemed like a weak smile. “Is she okay?” you asked, slightly concerned considering Renjun has been taking this new friend of his to the hospital every single time you both hung out together. “She always had a weak heart, her condition is getting pretty severe and her parents are far too busy to take her to regular check ups,” he told you as he walked towards the entrance to grab his coat off of the clothing rack.
“Oh,” was all you could say as you gripped the ends of the sweater you were wearing. “Tell her I said ‘get well soon’, do you need anything before you go?” you asked, sympathizing for a girl you’ve never even met as your thoughts began to wander. You couldn’t even imagine what kind of pain she was in at the moment with her severe medical condition.
“No, thanks.”
Without another word, without a small ‘goodbye’, Renjun left your apartment, shutting the door close right behind him.
vi. pov: you’re single as fuck
“Have you seen those cringeworthy pov videos on tik tok?” Yeeun grimaced, scrunching her face as she scrolled through the ‘for you’ page on her phone screen. “I swear, I saw this one where the guy literally spits on the screen, I swear I felt like taking 300 bubble baths at once,” she added on as you leaned over the counter, nodding at a regular customer who was throwing her drink in the trashcan before exiting the cafe. “You’re acting as if you’re rich enough to afford 300 bubble baths with the amount of skincare you spend with your paycheck,” you chuckled as you wiped the cashier counter clean with a wet rag.
Yeeun rolled her eyes as she leaned her hip back at the edge of the counter. “Hey, you’re on chonky cat tiktok, you don’t have the right to comment on my questionable spending habits,” she leaned over to swivel the nearest stirring spoon in front of your face as you walked towards her to place the cleaning utensils in the cupboard below. “What does me being on a certain social media site have to do with you spending a big, fat wad on toners,” you laughed lightly, leaning over to see whatever was on her phone as she pursed her lips at you.
“Do you think that this precious, beautiful, pimple-less face is free? Beauty is pain, Y/n. My pain and sacrifice for my own beauty is using whatever money I get from this job to buy shit for my silky-smooth, spotless face,” she pressed her chin on top of her hand, smiling as if she was in line for America’s Next Top Model before frowning abruptly when she saw you holding back a small snort behind your hand, leaning over to smack your shoulder with a small huff of breath. “I physically will eradicate you, not everyone has a loyal boyfriend who’s willing to spend his mommy and daddy’s money on his girlfriend’s skincare,” she hissed, closing her eyes dramatically before forming a tight fist pressed against her cheek.
“Oh how I wished that I did,” she muttered under her breath, loud enough for you to hear as you let out a small fit of giggles. “Should I invest in a sugar daddy or something?” she asked jokingly with a wide, sarcastic smile, turning her head towards you so fast, you feared that she would get a whiplash from it. Now it was your turn to smack your friend’s arm, you then leaned both of your hands back on the counter before rolling your eyes at your best friend’s comment. “Honestly, I didn’t ask for that limited edition SK2 set, it was more of a gift from Auntie Huang. Plus, it had enough content to last me for a year so I’m not as broke as you,” you hissed with a shake of your head.
Yeeun’s eyes went wide as she placed a hand on her chest and shook her head profusely. “You even call his mom ‘auntie’, you’re basically married at this point,” she gasped dramatically, looking down at her own left hand as if she was the one who was married. “Dude, I don’t think daughter in laws call their mother in laws ‘auntie’,” you snickered, shaking your head as you heard the bells on the door jingle, signifying that someone else had entered the rather half empty cafe. Quickly walking up to the cashier counter, you placed a smile on your face, adjusting your apron as the new customers approached you.
“Welcome to Neo Cafe, what can I get you today?”
“Y/n! how have you been, bitch?” Brooke’s bright voice was the first thing that greeted you as you turned your head to see none-other than the infamous couple in your campus.
Brooke and Taeyong were infamous for their little enemies to lovers dynamic when they first fought over god knows what in the school funfair ceremony. Brooke being a literature student who aimed to write angst-filled romance or mystery novels that resulted in the characters’ efforts going to waste or semi-happy endings that would leave you questioning the meaning of your own existence. Taeyong was one of your seniors; a dance and music major, a rich boy, if you will. He was infamous for setting up most of the music for school events or the radio show the school hosted alongside the host who was also one of your seniors named Moon Taeil.
They’ve gotten together in the most iconically romantic way that almost all the students couldn’t forget the iconic moment of Taeyong accidentally professing his love for the freshman unceremoniously during an episode of the school’s radio, Moon Talks. Poor man was clearly unaware that he was live and sharing his feelings to the whole campus.
It was an adorable gesture nonetheless. Quite embarrassing for Taeyong, but a sweet accidental gesture.
Ever since the two got together, you haven’t seen much of Brooke considering she was busy with her own share of projects and you were busy with dealing with your own major. “Brooke, Taeyong! Dude, it’s been so long since I’ve seen or talked to you, how have you been?” you asked with a wide smile, thrilled to see your two friends again after weeks of not being able to have a proper conversation with them due to how busy your personal lives had gotten. “Brooke? Taeyong? What the hell are you two doing here?” Yeeun exclaimed, skipping over to the counter to join in on the conversation.
“We just wanted to visit you guys and you know, catch up a bit,” Taeyong said with a soft smile of his own, earning a soft scoff from his girlfriend. “We just wanted to get coffee before our movie date, Taeyong really wants to see this new marvel movie that just came out,” the girl responded, earning a small pout from your best friend as she placed her forearm on the counter and the other on her hip in mock offense. “I’m offended, you didn’t even make an effort to lie about wanting to see us,” Yeeun shook her head with small ‘tsk, tsk’s coming from her lips.
You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “It’s good to see you too, Brooke,” you said in a sardonic tone before raising your hands up to lay them on the cashier machine. “What can I get you two today?” you asked, tapping your nail against the metal of the machine. “No discounts this time, you two have made me feel single enough with your lovey dovey couple-ness,” Yeeun shook her head, waving her hands around, which made you glare at her softly. “You’re acting as if you’re the one who gave them the discount,” you snorted, shaking your head as you nudged her sides jokingly.
“You two have not changed at all, I see,” Taeyong chuckled. “Babe, we literally saw them argue over whether jelly is squishy or not two weeks ago,” Brooke exclaimed with an incredulous expression spread across her face as she looked up at the menu written on the chalkboards hanging from the ceiling for all the customers to see. “Oh yeah, speaking of that, did you two come to a conclusion?” the boy gasped at the reminder, truly bewildered that two human beings are capable of arguing about the characteristics of a certain jiggly food.
Sharing knowing glances with Yeeun, you both looked back at the couple in front of you before shaking your heads in unison. “That conversation isn’t ready for the public, we have chosen to keep the conclusion to that topic highly classified,” you informed with a posh and fancy voice, intertwining your own hands together before giving the two a kind, professional smile along with the synchronized nodding of your best friend. “Please place your order before we have some kind of ominous debate on whether the big bang theory is secretly about sex or space,” she added casually, earning a small smack to her back from you.
“We are not ready to get fired from our job from talking some whack unprofessionally in front of poor unsuspecting bystanders,” you nodded in agreement, letting Yeeun wrap an arm around your shoulder. “Alright alright, I’ll get a caramel macchiato,” Brooke giggled, shaking her head at your silly antics before turning to her boyfriend. “I think I’ll get a-” he answered before letting out a small pondering hum, opening and closing his mouth as he contemplated what to order. “I’ll get an iced americano,” he finished with a tight lipped smile.
Brooke gave him a pointed look. “Didn’t you have an iced americano this morning already?” she exclaimed, but you typed it in his order anyway. “Another one can’t hurt, now, can it?” he grinned teasingly, laughing nervously as his girlfriend stared daggers into his soul, who then sighed in defeat as soon as you finished inputting their orders in the cashier. “The price is on the monitor in front of you, would you like to pay in cash or card?” you asked, placing your cheek against your palm as Yeeun ran off to prepare their order the moment she heard their order.
A few moments passed as you attempted to start up another conversation with the two considering it was a quiet day in the cafe, you didn’t have much to do anyways and Yeeun was still busy brewing up their orders. Eventually indulging yourselves in pictures of Taeyong’s ridiculous exotic pet collection, seriously, how rich are his parents?
“One caramel macchiato and one iced americano right here, folks,” Yeeun exclaimed dramatically as she slid to the spot right beside you, handing over the couple their drinks with an enthusiastic smile on her face. “Would you like to tip your favorite employees?” she asked, putting her hands on her hip as they grabbed the straws from the strawbox beside the cashier machine. “No thanks, Johnny isn’t here,” Brooke joked, shaking her head and raising her hand with a soft laugh, causing the girl beside you to frown abruptly. “She isn’t wrong, have you tried Johnny’s coffee making skills? It’s like the man invented coffee himself,” Taeyong shrugged nonchalantly as he took a sip of his coffee.
“Can’t argue when it comes to Johnnyboy’s skills, man,” you shrugged with a sweet smile stretched across your lips, earning a soft scoff from your best friend. “Of course you would agree, he literally treats you as if you were family, meanwhile he treats me as if I was the gum under his shoe,” she rambled with an annoyed roll of her eyes, crossing her arms against her chest. “I can literally hear you from over here! I brought you donuts three days ago, stop being dramatic!” Johnny’s head popped out of the staff room, boxes piling on top of each other in his arms.
“You’re literally on stacking duty, be quiet!” Yeeun snapped back, raising the rag hanging over her apron threateningly as Johnny pressed his lips together in a pout before sneaking back into the staff room. “Hi Johnny!” Taeyong exclaimed childishly before the older, taller Chicago boy went back to whatever the hell he was doing in the staff room. “Anyways, we’re going to be late for the movies, we’ll see you two later. Tell Johnny he still owes me money for writing his essay,” Brooke sighed heavily as she clicked the button on the side of her phone to check the time.
Laughing lightly, you shook your head as you ignored Yeeun running back to the staff room to grab her stuff considering her shift was ending early today. “See you guys around campus! Tell Yangyang we said hi too, okay?” Taeyong chuckled, reaching down to lovingly wrap his fingers with his girlfriend’s before giving her a sweet, lovesick smile as you waved them both a silent goodbye.
There was something in the quiet atmosphere that lowered your mood almost drastically as you gazed at their intertwined hands with a longing expression. Maybe it was due to the fact that the weather was getting sort of gloomy, rainy weather had always made your smile turn upside down after all. Or maybe it was due to the fact that the lack of customers in the cafe today made you lonelier than usual, ‘silence is the loudest sound you could ever hear’ is what they would always say. But the bitter feeling in your heart said otherwise. Perhaps it was jealousy?
‘Oh’ you couldn’t help but think to yourself as you heard the familiar jingle of the doorbell, indicating that the couple had walked out of the cafe already. ‘Is this what envy feels like?’ you thought to yourself curiously, sitting down on one of the chairs behind the counter to lean your chin on your palm and prop your elbow on the counter. Your gaze averted to your own hand which was spread open and empty, fingers twitching slightly as you let out a soft chuckle to yourself, your own heart slowly begin to ache in sorrow. ‘When has Renjun ever held my hand like that?’ you pondered to yourself, aimless eyes gazing longingly at your own hand.
‘Will Renjun even hold my hand the same way Taeyong held Brooke’s?’ you let out a heavy sigh, shaking the thoughts away from your head as you let out a soft chuckle. ‘Of course he would, we’re just extremely busy with our own lives at the moment,’ you reminded yourself in a futile attempt to be positive, despite your heart feeling much heavier than usual. Renjun has been ditching (you’re not sure if this is the appropriate word to use) the hang outs the both of you had planned to accompany Ningning to either hang out somewhere or go to the hospital for check ups. It’s been weeks since you truly had a decent conversation with the boy considering most of your conversations or phone calls would be cut off because Ningning ‘needed’ him.
Of course, you didn’t have the heart to talk to him about how upset you were over the lack of time you were spending with each other. You didn’t have a reason to be upset, it wasn’t like he was cheating on you or anything. He was just spending time with someone, someone who has a severe medical condition to be more specific. But it couldn’t help but hurt a bit that he was spending so much time with someone else and cancelled most of your plans midway and dropped literally everything just to be by her side, it still made you feel awful to feel somewhat jealous of someone who just needed a good friend by their side. It all felt too lonely.
“Y/n? I’m gonna go now, are you sure you don’t wanna come with me?” Yeeun asked, leaning her head towards your line of view, a curious, yet concerned expression spread all over her features as her voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “Huh?” you blinked owlishly before mustering up the strength to give her a weak smile. “I’m good, you can go ahead,” you shook your head, examining how your best friend had changed out of her uniform and back to the clothes she was using when she first came here. “Dude, it’s about to rain hard. You didn’t even bring an umbrella today, the bus driver is having a day off. Are you sure you don’t want to just go home right now? You can literally ask Johnny that you’re finishing your shift early,” she attempted to convince you, knowing full well that you might have a chance of walking home to your apartment.
Laughing lightly, you shook your head to reassure her that you were okay with staying until your shift actually finishes. “I could just call Renjun or Yangyang to pick me up if it's still raining,” you shrugged, stretching your arms in front of you with a small grunt to look away from her worried eyes as she snuck her hands into her pockets. “You know very well that idiot brother of yours won’t even bother to pick up the damn phone with the parties he goes to on a daily basis, the man has been absent for so many days- no, weeks! I don’t think his professors even bother to call out his name anymore, deadass,” she complained, laying her forearm on the counter as she rolled her eyes in annoyance at your stepbrother.
She never really liked him to begin with, it was always amusing to see your best friend hold herself back from practically spitting on your own brother. “Shut up, he may not be the greatest brother, but he’s still my brother. Plus, Renjun exists, he could pick me up,” you waved your hand off nonchalantly, blowing a small raspberry. The expression on your face was enough to make your friend drop the subject, you knew deep down that she wanted to comment on something the moment considering your smile had faltered slightly at the mention of the two toned hair Chinese boy.
Yeeun knew about your little doubts on Renjun like the back of her hand, even though you’ve never literally told her that you were upset that the boy was spending less and less time with you, she was your best friend after all. She knew you as if you’ve known each other for centuries but a part of her was aware that she shouldn’t back down on this as she had a bad feeling in her gut that informed her that something bad would happen if she really left.
“Dude, go. You’ll be late to whatever the hell you’re planning to do back in your dorm,” you made swatting moments with both of your hands as you kept up a bright smile, walking around the counter to lay your hands on her shoulders, spinning her around before leading her to the entrance. “Johnny and I will close up and you can get to working on your big assignment,” you patted her shoulder enthusiastically as you reached the entrance, causing your best friend to turn her face around to give you a serious expression, one that you seldom see on her face unless it was during really serious situations.
“If you say so, but if you really do need a ride home you could always call me. You do know that right, Y/n?” she asked, pushing your hands off of her shoulder before giving you a soft, comforting smile as she laid her own hand on your shoulder. “Of course,” you nodded eagerly, giving her a brief thumbs up. “The rain looks like it isn’t going to stop anytime soon, you really gotta call Renjun now. It’s almost 9 pm,” she sighed heavily before reaching down her bag to pull out an umbrella, unclipping the strap that keeps it closed. Shaking your head with a grateful smile, you placed your hands on your hips.
“Okay Mom,” you made a salute with two of your fingers as you fished out your phone from the pocket of your apron, showing Renjun’s contacts on your screen. “Already on it, don’t worry I’ll get home safe and sound.”
-
y/n at 19:35: hey can u pick me up after my shift? its about to rain soon and i didnt bring an umbrella, the bus driver is on a day off too
y/n at 19:35: help pls </3
y/n at 19:38: jun??
y/n at 19:39: junnie?? oml loml pls answer i cant just walk home D: alone </33
junnie <3 at 19:45: sorry i was driving. im taking ningning out to the carnival that just opened up near the park
junnie <3 at 19:46: cant u ask yeeun or smth to get u home? im kinda busy rn
y/n at 19:46: :OOO a carnival?? that sounds like fun i wanna go too >:[[
y/n at 19:46: but sadly no yeeun has a big project assignment in her dorm i dont wanna bug her
junnie <3 at 19:52: sorry can u not text me rn? we’re almost at the carnival and i dont want anything distracting me rn. gotta drive safe yk
y/n at 19:52: oh. im sorry :((
y/n at 19:53: srsly tho can you pick me up or no? it wont even take u 15 mins cmon junn </33 u wouldnt want ur favorite person walking home in the rain all alone do u hehe </33
junnie <3 at 19:58: y/n seriously?? cant u just ask yangyang or smth? I rlly cant pick u up this time
y/n at 19:58: sorry
y/n at 20:00: yangyang doesnt even respond to my calls i cant rlly ask him lolz
junnie <3 at 20:15: y/n im kinda busy rn. ill fill up the money in ur uber ltr the rain is starting to pour n idk if we packed an umbrella in the car
y/n at 20:16: im sorry i didnt mean to bother u
y/n at 20:16: jun?
y/n at 20:17: junnie?
y/n at 20:17: oh u must b at the carnival w ningning rn. sorry im prob spamming u rn lmao u dont have to fill up my uber cash. ill just walk home
y/n at 20:18: have fun at the carnival /^-^/ <3 stay safe<33 *read by junnie <3 at 20:20*
y/n at 21:28: jun can u pick me up fr? i think a thunderstorm is coming, ill take up the uber cash offer now LMAOAOA
y/n at 21:59: junnie its raining rlly bad can u pick me up?
y/n at 22:00: renjun can you pls come pick me up? its a literal thunderstorm
y/n at 22:01: renjun? i need you. im scared. *message failed to be sent*
vii. one step forward and three steps back
“Are you okay? You’ve been coughing a lot as of late.”
You shook your head with a laugh before grimacing as you felt an irritable itch in your lungs, as if something was tickling it. “I probably caught another one of those weird flus again,” you pressed the back of your hand against your closed lips, coughing into it in a futile attempt to get the itch inside of you to go away. “How the hell- don’t you eat those disgusting Starbucks fruit cups every single day on the way to campus?” Johnny asked as he wiped the shaker clean with a clean wet rag, furrowing his brows in confusion as you covered your mouth with your elbow to cough harshly into it.
“Womans been going home in the rain,” Yeeun clicked her tongue in annoyance, rolling her eyes as she placed the fresh pastries in the basket beside the cashier machine. “That’s not true!” you exclaimed, reaching into your pocket as you reached over into your bag to pull out a small umbrella with a wide grin stretched across your face. “I came prepared this time!” you grinned with a small mischievous giggle, earning a small scoff from your coworkers, more specifically Yeeun, who was frowning so hard to the point her chin was forming wrinkles. Quite literally not figuratively, you snapped a good picture of it though.
Yeeun clicked her tongue in annoyance, crossing her arms against her chest as she tapped her foot against the tile floor rapidly. “Of course you did, you’re going on a date after all,” she pursed her lips, glaring daggers into you as you stuffed the umbrella back into your bag with a light, giddy laugh. “Oh come on, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen Renjun, you can’t blame me for getting excited,” you pressed your lips into a thin smile, sighing dreamily as you leaned your cheek against your hand at the thought of the Chinese boy.
“Weeks? Dude, what the hell have you two been doing?” the new intern, Mark, exclaimed as he tied the strings of his apron behind him, walking behind the cashier counter as he joined in on the conversation. Your best friend let out a scoff at this. “Renjun has been hanging out with this girl lately to the point he doesn’t even have time to hang out with Y/n anymore, literally would drop anything and everything, would obey to her every cry and plea as if she were some damsel in distress and he was prince charming,” she hissed through her teeth, the way her face turned sour was evidently displaying her distaste and dislike for the girl she hasn’t even met.
Mark furrowed his brows at this, looking at your friend to see if she was serious before turning his face to look at yours. “Dude, deadass?” he asked in disbelief, causing you to shrug nonchalantly. “He’s just really nice, I don’t blame him. Poor girl has a heart condition and she needs a friend beside her, I don’t see anything wrong with it, really,” you shrugged, sipping on your chocolate chip frappuccino drink as you glanced down at your phone in hopes of seeing Renjun’s message pop up before you felt a rather irritating itch in your chest, eliciting a few soft coughs.
Your two friends exchanged uneasy expressions as you reached over to your cup to take a good few sips in a futile attempt to get rid of the itch in your chest. “Honestly, don’t you feel jealous or uneasy? You haven’t seen him in a while, right?” Mark asked, leaning his forearm against the counter as he gave you a rather incredulous expression, as if he couldn’t believe that you could be this calm about your significant other hanging out with someone else. “Forget about not having seen him for a while, the man literally ditched her in the rain and refused to pick her up because he was on a date with the other girl,” Yeeun exclaimed, placing her hands on the counter before shooting daggers into your soul.
Blinking owlishly, you took another sip before humming in confusion and offense. “I don’t think it was a date, come on. He was just having a friendly hang out, don’t be ridiculous,” you leaned over the counter to slap at your friend’s arm with a roll of your eyes, smiling softly at her protectiveness towards you. Mark scrunched his face in discomfort at your words, lifting his hand up to ruffle the back of his hair, unsure of how to put his next sentence into words without sounding too harsh considering he hasn’t known you for very long. “Taking it from a literal guy, I don’t think people would ditch their significant other in the rain just to hang out with someone else,” he replied with a small hiss, planting a small seed of doubt in your mind as your smile slightly faltered.
The ‘see! Even Mark agrees with me on this one!’ elicited from Yeeun didn’t make it any better.
But nonetheless, you regained your bright composure, shaking your head. “I’ve known Renjun since I was a toddler, he wouldn’t do that. He’s just a really, really nice person. Plus, Ningning has some sort of severe medical condition, I don’t blame her for needing him to be by her side right now. I would too,” you waved it off with a small uncomfortable chuckle, making swatting motions with your hands. “They’re just friends, Renjun likes me, I know he does,” you beamed, trying to encourage and convince both yourself and your friends as you took another sip of your coffee to appear more calm and collected about all this even though it was slowly adding a small ounce of pain inside of your chest at the mere thought of Renjun being unloyal.
“Friends, huh? Can’t Ningning ask her other friends to accompany her or some shit? Why does it have to be Renjun of all people?” she grumbled under her breath, causing your smile to falter as you looked down on your phone, unlocking it to reveal the recent text message you’ve sent to Renjun before you came to the cafe.
y/n at 15:00: hey ^-^ im at the cafe, text me when u get here <3
“I don’t know, that’s not really my business now, is it? What matters is that I trust Renjun with all of my heart and we really shouldn’t be talking about him in this sort of manner, it doesn’t feel right,” you lectured them gently, your uncomfortable emotion seeping through your features to show that you truly were uncomfortable and serious about this. Mark shook his head apologetically. “Sorry, I was just pissed off. You’ve been in love with this guy for like most of your life and now that he’s finally reciprocated your feelings instead of viewing you as just his best friend’s sister, he’s being all weird,” Yeeun sighed, giving you a soft smile filled with sympathy as she reached over to pat your shoulder.
You took a deep inhale, giving the both of them a bright smile as you placed your hands on the counter. “I appreciate the two of you being concerned for me but trust me, Renjun wouldn’t do anything bad,” you informed them, tapping your fingernail against the slippery counter as you attempted to pick up the atmosphere again to lose the tension between all of you. Yeeun pouted as she placed her chin on her hand, examining the empty cafe before looking up at you with a saddened expression. “Honestly, props to you for having the patience and trust to bear with this,” she clapped her hands together softly to express her proudness towards you.
Mark let out a soft laugh, crossing his arms across his chest as he nodded in agreement enthusiastically. “I agree. It’s not usual to see someone so chill with their partner spending way more time with their ex girlfriend than their actual girlfriend. I would be rolling in my own grave if I were you,” the boy clicked his tongue, looking at you with such an impressed expression despite the fact that he literally told you information that neither you nor Yeeun knew until up to this exact moment. Your eyes grew wide as Yeeun’s head shot up towards the Canadian boy, jaw dropping to the floor dramatically before sparing a small glance at your equally baffled expression to see if you were aware of this fact (which you definitely weren’t) before turning her head back to Mark.
She sat up quickly, startling Mark with her sudden rapid movements. “Ex girlfriend? Mark, what the hell did you just say?” Yeeun exclaimed, causing Mark to let out a small yelp at her loud tone as you stood still, war flashbacks going through your mind. “You didn’t know?” Mark exclaimed, now he was the one who was baffled. “Dude, I may not know Renjun that well but Yangyang and his inability to shut up made the whole universe know who the hell Ningning is,” he scratched the side of his arm, tugging on his rolled up sleeves as he cleared his throat to prevent his voice from cracking out of nervousness.
“Dude, what? I didn’t know that. Y/n clearly didn’t know that either, dude, do you know what the hell this means?” Yeeun exclaimed, grabbing his shoulders and shaking the poor boy vigorously as if he was a pair of maracas. “What? What’s wrong?” Mark exclaimed, utterly confused of what kind of poisonous seed he had planted deep in your brain as you felt your heart plunge into your stomach, feeling your own pupils start to shake as the itch in your chest grew unbearable. Your mind couldn’t shut up as your thoughts became messy and scattered, causing you to fish out your phone from your bag, opening up your chat with Renjun nervously to ask him about his whereabouts considering it’s been a full hour since he asked you to meet up at the cafe for a park date.
y/n at 16:57: junnn where r u im at the cafe rn
y/n at 16:58: dude its been a whole hour r u coming or not? :’’<
“Y/n, calm down, he’s probably stuck in traffic right now or something,” Johnny reached over, noticing your saddened expression as you stared desperately into the screen of your phone, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. Chewing on the bottom of your lip, you mustered up the strength to give your colleagues a smile. “Yeah, he’s on the way. I’m sure of it,” you said in a somewhat hopeful tone, however it was more than obvious that you were faking it. “Come on, just because Renjun was emotionally hung up on his first love for a whole two years because she left him to go to another country for some reason we don’t know, doesn’t mean that we can instantly assume that he’s seeing her behind my back, right?” you looked around at your friends in a futile attempt to see a hopeful face to reassure you that your words held some kind of truth.
“Right?”
It was almost hard to breathe as your heart started aching like hell, the saddened, sympathetic expressions your friends were giving you making you uneasy to say the least. Looking down at your phone, no signs of Renjun reading or being online despite the fact that he was the one who asked you to meet him in the park to quote unquote ‘hang out’. “I’m going to go to the park and wait for Renjun there,” you said after a small moment of agonizing awkward silence, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you intake the remainder of your drink before walking towards the trashcan without another word, avoiding any sort of eye contact from your coworkers as you walked past them and out of the cafe.
Considering it was a merely 15 minute walk towards the park, it felt way longer than so. Your eyes were either fixated on the road or the phone screen, waiting for Renjun’s message anxiously and hopefully as your mind started to wonder if he, once again, stood you up for her. Just like he did for the entirety of his relationship with her back when you were still in highschool, you didn’t want it to happen again, you didn’t want to sulk in such a lonely place. Renjun found you when you were still invisible, he found you but he couldn’t see you; the one thing you’ve been aiming to achieve all this time.
You wanted him to see you.
Just when you thought his attention wasn’t on the girl who had stolen his heart, just when you thought he was finally able to see you, it was all about to be taken away. It was as if you were back to day one; as if you were back to your old, childish self once again. It was almost unfair to you. You fell for him first, you met him first, you were there for him way earlier than she was. Yet, how the hell was his heart in her hands instead of yours? And how did yours end up in his?
Your mind continued to race as you started coughing, the itch in your chest swarming through your lungs and up your throat as you walked into the empty park, cupping your mouth with your hand as you found a nearby bench to sit on. Deciding that you would wait for Renjun right there, you slumped down on the wooden bench, looking down hopelessly at your phone screen, patiently yet desperately waiting for a response. Waiting for him to say that he was on the way, he was just stuck in traffic, that he had something to deal with momentarily and that he would be picking you up soon.
You don’t know how long you’ve been sitting on that exact bench as you waited. And waited. And waited for someone to find you. More specifically, a certain Chinese boy who had captured your heart to find you and return to you. One hour had turned to two. And two would gradually turn to three. You didn’t know when you had lost count but you knew the night breeze was cutting off your blood circulation as you could barely feel your own lips, you swore they were turning blue from how cold you felt. The thin sweater you were wearing did you no justice in keeping you warm as you continued to sit there, unmoving on the bench.
The growling of your starving stomach was ignored as your chest began to succumb to the emotional numbness that overwhelmed you. You watched as the sun traded places with the moon, until the bright blue sky was no longer and was now covered by a blanket of cloudy midnight purple. Everything was so cold, yet you couldn’t feel much. You could barely feel the skin of your own arms under your cold fingertips as you leaned back against the bench. It wouldn’t be surprising if you freeze to death before Renjun could reply to you.
Children from the nearby playground were no longer running around as their parents had picked them up, causing the park to be even emptier than when you had just arrived. However, the dullness embedded deep in your heart had inevitably made the hole in your chest even emptier than it should. Numb fingers slowly growing cold from the evening breeze convincing you to attempt to heat them up by texting Renjun in a futile attempt of getting him to reply.
-
y/n at 23:36: renjun r u still coming :’’>? oml my emoticon looks like bojji from ousama ranking hehe we should watch that together it's such a heartfelt show istg
‘Please say something.’
y/n at 23:36: let me know if u change ur mind or if ur too tired ok? we can always meet up the next time ur free hehe
‘Please tell me you’re coming.’
y/n at 23:37: call me pls :((
y/n at 123:38: r u on the way?
y/n at 23:38: srry im kinda being annoying rn but ur not responding and im concerned loloz
‘Please tell me you’re not with her.”
y/n at 23:40: i like u <3
‘Renjun?’
-
It was almost midnight.
Renjun had never taken this long to find you and bring you home, even back when he was still dating Ningning. He had never kept you waiting for this long.
Your whole body grew numb from the emotional burnout you were enduring just from this single moment, you couldn’t even feel the mobile device in between your fingers as you felt your heart beat shallowly in your chest, harsh coughs coming out of your throat. It made you so sick deep inside you swore that you were going to throw up. Your heart was practically beating so hard and loudly you could hear it in your ears, each thud within every beat harmonizing with the inaudible screams of your mind repeatedly telling you ‘why did you believe that you were able to hold his heart in your own palms?’
No matter how many times you made him laugh, no matter how many movie dates you two have, no matter how many times you made him smile. Renjun’s heart would always go back to his first love, even if she moved hundreds of kilometers away from him, his heart would also string along with her, leaving an empty shell in him for you to replace. That was all you were to him, weren’t you? A momentary replacement for Renjun until she inevitably finds her way back into his arms, returning his heart or replacing it with her own.
You could offer all the love and affection you have in your whole being, yet, it wouldn’t be enough to replace the empty space in Renjun’s heart. Even if you gave him your whole heart.
It wasn’t enough to make him stay.
The next cough that came from your throat was almost inhumane, almost painful and itchy across the muscles of your throat. Tears sprung up your eyes as you let out a few more harsh coughs, dropping your phone to the concrete floor as you cupped your mouth. Suddenly, something silky and soft made contact with the skin of your palms, causing your heart to stop beating for a mere second. Pulling your hand away, your eyes then widened in shock and pure horror as tears continued to blur your vision.
Laying innocently on your palm were four yellow petals, seeming almost papery. Did this come straight out of your throat? Your breathing quickened as your tears blurred your vision, unable to hold them back as liquid dropped into your palm, making contact with the soft petals as you let out a soft, shameless sob. Pulling your cold knees to your chest up on the bench, you wrapped your arms around yourself, letting the petals drop to the floor right beside your phone as the terrifying realisation sunk in, a wave of sorrow washing over you as your chest constricted, the lump in your throat finally coming out of your mouth in a fit of soft, uncontrollable sobs.
You had just coughed up carnation petals. More specifically, yellow carnations.
Renjun’s favorite flowers.
-
junnie </3 at 00:35: im so so sorry
junnie </3 at 00:35: ningning had to go to the hospital for another check up and she needed me, im sorry i forgot to tell u. i had to accompany her considering her mom couldnt get off of work til midnight im so so sorry y/n
junnie </3 at 00:36: u must be home and asleep now right?
junnie </3 at 00:37: i swear ill make it up to u. im so sorry for keeping u waiting.
junnie </3 at 00:38: hey at least u had fun interacting w mark and yeeun right?
junnie </3 at 00:39: im tired, im gonna go to sleep too okay?
junnie </3 at 00:40: gn <3 i like u too <3
-
viii. and i am the idiot with the painted face
“This new playlist of yours sounds extremely depressing, I am immensely concerned,” Renjun furrowed his brows, eyes wandering to your orange speaker blasting songs conveying concerning messages on repeat.
Chuckling softly, you sat back on the carpet floor in front of him with a small shrug as you grabbed a few pieces of paper to fold the pieces of your soon to be paper crown. “Listen, with the amount of assignments piling up on my back, this playlist accurately represents the sorrows and pain my soul is going through,” you gave the boy a toothy grin with a boastful hand on your chest, waving the boy off as Renjun gently dipped the tip of his brush into his acrylic palette. “I don’t think Mitski’s Me and My Husband sounds like the echoes and pitiful screams of your soul doing assignments, sounds like you’re stuck in some sort of toxic relationship,” he pressed his lips together, unknowingly forming a cute pout.
“Shut up, who doesn’t love Mitski’s ‘Me and My Husband?’ Especially that one line: ‘And I am the idiot with the painted face’? Honestly, relatable on another level” you gushed, never failing to use your chances to express your love for the American Japanese indie rock singer with every chance given. Renjun’s face contorted with even more confusion as he focused on his canvas, carefully stroking the brush to achieve more details as he let out a soft ‘huh?’ under his breath.
Dropping his brush in the cup of clear water to wash out the paint, he reached over to grab another brush with a thinner tip, tapping the ends of it before turning his head over to you. “What part of that is relatable? You may be an idiot but your face isn’t painted at all,” he frowned, leaning over to poke your cheek with the wet brush, smiling softly at his own little joke. “You clearly don’t understand the formal art of writing, Junnie,” you mumbled under your breath, loud enough for him to hear as you reached over for the plate of cookies Renjun had brought in when he came over.
“I’m literally the art major here, writing is a part of art. You’re the one who’s not getting it,” Renjun leaned over to poke your sides teasingly to show that he was clearly joking. Getting up to your feet to grab a pair of scissors from your desk, you gave him a look filled with mock disgust, hand reaching over to your stationary box. “What? Do you prefer that I blast penthouse opera songs instead? Since you’re such a Mitski slanderer, would you prefer Ghibli soundtracks or la traviata, your majesty?” you said in a rather posh and fancy voice, rolling your eyes as you sat back down to cut the piece of paper on the floor into small, equal squares.
Renjun reached for his own cookie, placing the treat in between his lips as he let out a small hum. “You should play-”
“No, I am not playing Justin Bieber’s latest song, Howl’s Moving Castle soundtracks it is,” you cut him off without hesitation, leaning over to the laptop on your desk. The screen was evidently displaying your spotify account, your ‘songs to cry to when yellow carnations are yeeting out of your throat’ playlist on clear display for all to see as you searched up a good ghibli playlist to set a more serene atmosphere in the room. “Justin Bieber isn’t that bad, you’re just hating on him because everyone else is,” he mutters under his breath in a sulky tone, consuming his last bite of the cookie bitterly.
“I would rather listen to Dwayne Johnson’s Face off than listen to ‘Peaches’. You and Mark had chewed my ear off singing that song when we were taking that boy to the airport,” you right clicked your mouse, pressing the spacebar to randomly play a song from your playlist, straining your back in the process from stretching up to the desk with how you were sitting on the floor right beside Renjun. “I got my peaches out in-” Renjun sang quietly to himself before you placed your palms against your ears, nudging his sides with your elbow, eliciting a soft yelp from the Chinese boy.
He placed his hands on his sides, glaring daggers at you as you gave him a bittersweet, sardonic smile before returning to folding the squares you had cut out a few seconds prior. “Why are you acting as if you didn’t stream ‘love me’ and ‘eenie meanie’ religiously back in your Justin Bieber phase?” he snatched a cookie from the plate to shove it in your mouth, not bothering to hear whatever response you came up with right after he finished his sentence. Smiling at his actions, you bit a chunk of the cookie, feeling a soft itch in your chest before letting out a soft cough. “I have standards now, unlike your Believer ass. I listen to actual music, boomer,” you joked with a staggering laugh, a fit of coughs being elicited from your throat.
Narrowing his eyes at you in mock offense, he placed his palm on his chest incredulously. “Mitski and depressing ass lyrics are apparently the ‘standards’ now? Also I’m literally two years older than you,” he exclaimed in an offended tone, causing you to snort shortly.
“Yangyang literally acts so much younger than you,” you commented.
“I don’t like spending money on air jordans or that travis scott burger he went on about last week. I’d say I’m on a better level than Yangyang in terms of being a human being,” he bragged with a soft laugh, looking at the amount of shoe boxes your stepbrother had piled up right under your desk (the man didn’t have anymore space in his and since he was the one who paid most of the rent, you couldn’t say no when he unceremoniously dragged in piles and piles of expensive shoe boxes, presumably from the fiery pits of the underworld). “I’m glad we can agree on something. I swear, the man hogs up all the money just because he got the will when his dad passed but that doesn’t mean he can use it to spend on a shit ton of shoes he doesn’t even use,” you rambled on in annoyance.
If looks could kill, those shoe boxes would've disintegrated by now.
Renjun snorted, mumbling a small ‘cute’ under his breath before his eyes darted back from the shoe boxes to the sour expression on your face, hand reaching up to gingerly pinch your cheek. “Or buy some groceries, he can’t just leave you with some money every day just to order take out,” he joined in, enjoying how you were slandering his best friend behind his back even though Yangyang was probably busy screaming his throat out while playing pubg with his frat friends in the next room. (You even forced him to install some soundproofing a couple weeks ago so that he doesn’t scream ‘Winwin, to your left!’ on repeat)
“You’re acting as if you don’t bring me takeout every other day as well,” you purse your lips at his hypocrisy, crossing your arms against your chest as Renjun leaned back to support himself with his hands on the floor behind his back. “At least I brought you something healthy,” he shot back defensively with an arched brow, using one hand to tug on the beige hoodie he was wearing as you finally finished folding the square pieces you had cut out previously. Cocking your head to the side with a smile dangling in the corner of your mouth, you clicked your tongue.
“Apparently these chocolate chip cookies count as healthy to you? Damn, I didn’t know Huang Renjun was such a sugar junkie,” you joked.
You let out a small cheer as you finished what you’ve been attempting to build for the past hour: a paper crown. “Junnie, look here,” you called out, getting up to your knees as you scooted towards him with an unrelenting stare, a toothy grin spread across your face. Humming, the Chinese boy looked up at you with curious eyes, his lips pressed shut as you suddenly plopped the brown paper crown on the top of his head, the little doodles you made all around the homemade accessory accenting his dull hoodie. “Who needs Prince Eric when I have Huang Renjun himself?” you exclaimed with glee, letting out a giddy giggle as you clasped your hands together beside your cheek.
Renjun furrowed his brows, reaching over to grab his phone near the canvas, unlocking it to open the camera app to take a look at his appearance, far too lazy to walk to the closet mirror on the other side of the room. Humming softly as he inspected how the cute crown you had made him fit perfectly on his head, he gave you a smile that mirrored your own, letting out soft chuckles as he shook his head. “Thank you, this makes me feel a thousand times more special than I am,” he reached over to pinch your cheek, scrunching his face at you to restrain himself from tackling you to the floor out of pure adoration.
Wincing slightly at how hard he was pinching your cheek, you reached up to tug his hand away from your face, feeling your heart race in your chest. “Asshole, you are special to me, I thought we’ve established this already,” you stuck your tongue out childishly, ignoring the butterflies swarming up in your tummy as Renjun’s grip on your cheek unwavered, nonetheless it didn’t stop you from attempting to tug it away. “Still can’t believe someone would simp this hard over me,” he giggled, shrugging innocently as his free hand sneaked up to adjust the crown on his head.
The hand that was on your cheek soon moved to grab yours, intertwining his fingers with yours for the first time in forever, causing your heart to skip a beat. A giddy smile of disbelief stretched across your face as Renjun turned his head back to focus on his own canvas.
“What’s with the sudden hand holding, Huang?” you asked with a teasing tone, minus the fact that your heart was on the brink of bouncing out of your ribcage.
“It helps keep me focused.”
-
You woke up to the ominous sound of loud chewing and crunching sounds as you stirred awake, eyes slowly fluttering open as you attempted to comprehend where the hell you were. Grunting softly, you attempted to reach your arms up to stretch but you felt the rough texture of a jean jacket covering your whole body, not to mention the immensely small space you were in. Nonetheless, you sat up in the tight space you were in, causing the jacket to slide down to your lap as you moved your hand up to rub the sleep away from your eyes.
‘Where the hell am I?’
“Good morning, sleeping beauty. About time your sleeping ass woke up,” a familiarly obnoxious voice sneered at you, instantaneously ruining your mood even though you had just woken up.
Furrowing your brows, you turned to see Yangyang casually eating a bag of Doritos that was placed on his lap, a toothy grin spread across his face as he snickered at your distorted state. “What the fuck? Where am I? Why are you here?” you asked, twisting your body from how tense it felt, realising that you were in the front seat of Yangyang’s new car as Yangyang casually munched away on his cheese flavored doritos in the driver’s seat with his legs crossed on the cushions. How the hell did you even get in Yangyang’s car? He had never let you touch it before so why is he acting as if you’ve been living here like one of the raccoons hiding in your dumpsters?
“Yeeun said you weren’t picking up your calls so she called me to pick you up,” he explained with a casual shrug, reaching over to the backseat to grab the plastic bag hiding in between the cushions he had set up, pulling out a warm drink and a straw before placing it on your lap. “Drink up, you look even shittier than usual, Jesus. Did you even eat anything? You look worse than the last time I found you in that cursed park,” he hissed, shaking his head as he opened the glove compartment to get out a few tissues, carelessly tossing them over to you.
Ignoring his question, you looked over to see that Yangyang was charging your phone on the socket in front of the gear lever. “What time is it?” you asked, hesitantly lifting up the drink on your lap, startled by how ominously nice he was being considering all he’s done so far is treat you like his personal servant. Yangyang leaned back against his chair, looking at the time displayed on the car before licking his lips. “3 AM, why?” he answered shortly, rubbing his face in exhaustion before leaning his bag of doritos towards you, shaking it. “Want some?” he offered, lifting his brow.
Looking down at the half eaten bag, you darted your eyes from your stepbrother to the snack before shaking your head. “For fucks sakes,” he muttered under his breath before reaching back to the plastic bag on the backseat again to pull out an egg sandwich, tossing it to your lap. “Eat, dude, you look like you haven’t eaten today,” he leaned over to knock his knuckles against your shoulder gently, clearly not used to being this nice to you. Hell, he’s never even picked you up in your years of being siblings, it’s always been Renjun who-
Wait a second.
How did you get here? In Yangyang’s car? Weren’t you in the park, on the verge of freezing to death with yellow petals flowing out of your throat with every violent cough you elicit? You were, no doubt, still wearing the same outfit you had when you were sobbing your eyes out on the bench, therefore why were you here?
“If you’re asking how the hell you got here, Yeeun told me where she last heard you and told me to come find you,” he explained awkwardly, his joking smile no longer spread across his features, now covered up with his lips pressed into a thin line as he scratched the sides of his neck. “You dumbass, if you were going to wait for him til ass o’clock, you should at least use some of those brain cells in your monkey brain to bring a jacket or a tent to the park,” he hissed, the hand on his neck reaching up to ruffle his hair in distress as he jokingly glared daggers at you.
However, you were in no mood for jokes.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, tapping your finger against the cardboard cup quietly. “I didn’t know he was not gonna come,” you added after a few seconds after the apology, not tearing your gaze away from the untouched drink on your lap, your chest beginning to itch as you suppressed the urge to cough. There was a heavy sigh from your brother as he placed the bag of doritos on your lap, reaching over to pat your head before starting the car. “I was just joking, it’s good to see you safe and sound. You’re lucky I was in town tonight or else you’d freeze to death out there,” he gave you a comforting smile in a futile attempt to cheer you up, nudging your arm with his elbow before pressing on the gas pedal to drive you both home.
Coughing against your fist, Yangyang let out some ‘tsk’s under his breath, urging you to drink up. “I brought you hot chocolate, drink up before you cough your organs out,” he shook his head, leaning over to lower the volume of the radio as you continued to cough violently to your fist, eyes burning with tears as a few petals slipped through your throat. You let out a sour laugh, you spared a glance at Yangyang, quickly cupping your hand around your lips to gather the petals from your lips before putting it down, dropping the petals to the side of the car seat when he wasn’t looking.
“Seriously though, don’t do that again. You could’ve gotten hypothermia or some shit if I wasn’t in town to carry your heavy ass home,” he said, taking a left turn as you cleared your throat, finally stabbing the drink with the straw he gave you and drinking the warm chocolate liquid. “If I was so heavy then why didn’t you wake me?” you rolled your eyes, turning your head over to gaze at the view from the car window, staring longingly at the purple night sky. The boy beside you simply shrugged with a small hum, using one hand to drive as he propped the other up against the open window beside him, leaning his head against his arm.
“You looked like you were having a good dream, I guess,” he answered simply, eliciting a soft chuckle from you.
‘A dream, huh?’
ix. did i drive you away?
Silently sucking on your cherry lollipop, you idly flipped the pages of your textbook with an elbow propped up on the table, your head leaned up against your palm as sore eyes bore through the countless paragraphs of text filled with information. You rubbed your eyes in a futile attempt to get you to be more focused in revising your next quiz, knowing full well that your thoughts were too loud for you to actually pay attention to whatever was being laid out in front of you for more than five seconds.
Letting out an internal groan, you placed your head in your hands, taking a deep inhale before moving your hands up so that you could massage your temples with your palm, clearing your throat when your lungs began to grow itchy. Wincing slightly, you shook your head as you let out a heavy sigh, closing your eyes for a brief moment to ease your stress.
Honestly, how were you able to comprehend the fact that you just got hanahaki?
Not to self diagnose, but you knew full well that coughing up the love of your life’s favorite flowers right after you realised that he was never going to love you the same way you love him. Hanahaki: a rare disease in which victims cough up flower petals (or full bloomed flowers if left untreated) when they suffer from unrequited romantic love. It ends when the victim’s beloved returns their feelings equally romantically or when the victim dies. They say it can also be cured through surgical removal, but when the stems or thorns in which the flowers grow in the lungs are successfully removed, the victim’s romantic feelings and memories for their love will also disappear.
You can thank Google for all that research but you sure ain’t thanking yourself for making yourself cry even harder at the fact that you were going to die in a matter of less than a month if you don’t get that surgery before you enter the last critical stage.
But then, why now? Why did this disease decide to show up now? You had been seeing Renjun for almost more than three months now, you’ve never actually coughed up any carnation petals up till now, it was almost odd. That is until you consider the fact that maybe Renjun actually did like you until he was reminded that his heart belonged to someone else; his first love. Now that was quite depressing to think about, was it? But that was the harsh reality that you had to face considering this stupid disease wasn’t going to let you go.
You were only in your first year of college, you still had a whole life ahead of yo-
“Are you okay?”
You snapped yourself out of your thoughts, pulling your head out of your hands to see who had come in to check up on you. ‘Speak of the devil’, you couldn’t help but think to yourself with a small chuckle, feeling your heart ache yet soar at the same time at the sight of the cute boy’s concerned expression. Pink lips slightly parted, brows furrowed, shiny eyes flashed with a gloss of concern and worry made your heart melt at how adorable he appeared but also ached at the fact that he was currently the main source of your internal and emotional pain.
“Junnie,” you sighed out with an exhausted, loopy smile, leaning your arms over the table to make grabby hands at him childishly. “You’re here,” you breathed out, almost in disbelief. Oh how you wished you were able to say that two weeks ago when you were waiting hours and hours for him in the park, you couldn’t blame him though, his first love needed him and he lost track of time. You couldn’t blame him even if you wanted to. “Are you okay? You look terrible,” Renjun leaned his head to the side, eyes carefully examining your features as he had noticed how your smile didn’t reach your eyes like it used to, putting a starbucks paper bag on the table.
Humming melodiously, you leaned your chin up at the book, staring lovingly at the boy as if he wasn’t the reason why your lungs feel like they’re itching and burning in your chest. “I miss you. Like a lot, present tense not past tense,” you giggled, reaching your hands up to grab at his puffy, squishy cheeks. “I’m glad you paid attention to your grammar lessons in 11th grade,” he joked, fingers wrapping against your wrists to tug your hands away from your chest, chuckling softly at how childish you were being after weeks of not seeing each other.
Reaching over to the paper bag, he pulled out a venti cotton candy frappuccino along with a huge straw, looking over to the half empty cup of latte you had ordered a few minutes prior to his arrival with a disgusted expression on his face. “Did you really buy food here? How are you not hurling over the toilet seat already?” he scrunched his nose in disgust, stabbing the green straw into the white cup before taking a good few gulps of his sweet drink. “I’m really glad you’re here,” you dismissed his words with a genuine smile, eyelids fluttering with exhaustion as you rubbed your left eye.
Letting out an amused laugh, Renjun shook his head. “So you’ve said before,” he nodded, hand fishing out another cup from the paper bag and placing it right in front of you, not forgetting to balance a straw of your own on the lid. “I don’t say it enough,” you shrugged nonchalantly as he ripped the plastic wrapping of the straw off with a small grunt before stabbing it into the opening hole on the lid with his tongue sticking out in the corners of his lips. “Here, drink this instead. I got you a caramel macchiato, way better than whatever poison they brewed up in that terrifying kitchen,” he shook the drink in his hand, a tightlipped smile stretched across his face.
Smiling, you spared a glance at the white, porcelain cup half filled with (what you admit was) the worst coffee you had ever tasted in existence before accepting his drink, taking a delightful sip of the comforting drink. “Thank you, you really didn’t have to buy me this, you know,” you said as you stirred the mixture around with the straw so that the caramel would be fully incorporated with the liquid. Renjun then raised his brows at you in perplexity, letting out a small laugh of disbelief. “That’s rich coming from the person who basically nagged me for a Genshin Impact acrylic standee,” he reached over to pinch your cheeks with glee, muttering a small ‘cute’ under his breath as he watched you inhale the drink as if you haven’t drunk shit in years.
“Jesus, I told you to not eat from this cafe, the food is absolutely atrocious. Would rather eat that poison apple the evil queen offered Snow white instead of sparing a glance at those rotten looking cinnamon buns,” he shook his head at you, knowing full well that you had regrettably spent an eighth of your pocket money for the day on that disgusting beverage before looking back at the cashier counter to take a peek at the rotting pastries on display, the staff behind the counter was practically on the brink of falling asleep.
It was 2 pm on a Tuesday.
“I felt like being nice, this cafe hasn’t made any profit in years, I feel bad,” you purse your lips into a pout, not even denying that the drink was enough to make your ancestors toss and turn in their graves. “I swear, you’re too nice for your own good. I don’t think they’ve even bothered to bake new food, I’ve seen that apple pie before and it’s literally untouched,” Renjun exclaimed, eyeing the pastries, gasping slightly under his breath as he exclaimed how he swore he saw some kind of mould forming on the tips of the crusts. You then laughed at his silly antics, shaking your head as you leaned your chin on your palm, watching the boy complain with soft, lovesick eyes.
Renjun then turned to you, noticing how you’ve been staring at him for quite a while as he rambled before clearing his throat awkwardly to mask how flustered he felt. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, waving his hand in front of your face to see if you were spacing out or not. “I just really miss you,” you admitted with another innocent shrug, sighing dreamily as you sent him a loopy smile, mindlessly reaching over to drink your beverage as you stared at him as if he held all of the stars of the universe in his own bare hands.
“Do you miss me that much? It’s only been a few weeks since we last saw each other,” he chuckled, putting his forearms on the table as he tugged on the book you had in between your elbows to see what the hell you were reading as if it was the source for your loopy state. “Is it wrong of me to miss you?” you tilted your head to the side, frowning jokingly before letting out a small laugh as your mind began to go south.All your heart could gasp out was ‘did he not miss you? At all?’ as you let out a small cough, putting a hand on your throat in a futile attempt to relieve some of the soreness gathering in it.
“I’m just saying, we’ve known each other since we were kids. You ghosted me for like two years because I was in a relationship with someone else, now you’re missing me because we haven’t seen each other for a few weeks? I’m just surprised, that’s all,” he shrugged with a sheepish smile, swatting his hand off as if it wasn’t a big deal as the other reached to scratch the back of his neck. Sitting up properly on the chair, you leaned back with a small giggle, looking down at your own two hands. “I don’t know, things just felt a little more lonely lately,” you admitted truthfully, your mind having flashbacks to the hours you spent hurled up over the toilet seat, coughing up carnation petals violently the more you think about the boy in front of you.
Nonetheless, his presence brought you the bliss and joy you had been craving for weeks. It was almost laughable to think that the person who had hurt you the most both internally and emotionally without meaning to was the only person in your life who gave you the happiness you had been longing for weeks. How can a single human be the one to pierce needles into your heart but also make it soar at the same time? It truly bewildered you how your affections for this individual could reach that point, if he were someone else, you would definitely back away in case things get worse but somehow Renjun was like an addiction you can’t get away from.
An addiction that made all thoughts of being sober get thrown out of the window.
“Well, I’m here now aren’t I? You don’t have to feel lonely anymore.” Your breath hitched, staring at Renjun as you formed a heart warming smile similar to the heat of a fireplace balming the goosebumps that peppered across your skin, taming the wintery chills in your heart. You were truly weak for Huang Renjun and no one could prove otherwise, not even you. His smile made you forget that you had his favorite flowers growing rapidly in your lungs. And for a brief moment, the smile on his face actually made you believe that all of this hanahaki nonsense was just some kind of dream you’ve woken up from. For a brief moment, the smile on his face made you believe that he truly did harbor the same feelings you harbor for him.
It was then you saw his phone lit up, indicating that he had gotten a message. Renjun turned his head to the mobile device, oblivious to how the bliss from your eyes had now been replaced by despondency the moment you caught sight of whose name had popped up on his screen. Your smile faltered as you closed your eyes and leaned your head back, feeling your heart start to burn and your lungs start it’s usual itching sensation. However, this time it was paired with problems with your breathing as you took a deep, silent exhale. A soft sigh from Renjun was enough to tell you what his next words were.
Just like what coldplay had said when they were singing ‘sparks’.
“Did I drive you away? I know what you’ll say”
However, you weren’t the one driving him away, he was the one driving himself away willingly without realising it. Oblivious to how much internal pain you were in, the boy proceeded to text the person who had owned his heart since day one, with each passing second, the more difficult it got for you to actually breathe. ‘He doesn’t love you,’ you admitted to yourself bitterly, letting out an inaudible chuckle as your hands reached up to wipe the tears gathering in your eyes, rubbing them to act as if you were just rubbing the sleep away so that Renjun doesn’t get concerned.
It wasn’t his fault that his heart didn’t belong in your palms. It was your fault for falling for him, if you hadn’t fallen in love with this boy then you wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. Why did he even bother staying with you? Why was he still staying in this relationship if he didn’t even love you? Even if he did love you, it was already crystal clear that he doesn’t anymore. I mean, how the hell did you even end up with hanahaki if he truly does love you?
“Ningning wants to go to the park again, I’m going to go pick her up,” Renjun said without hesitation, pushing the button on the side of his phone to turn it off before tucking it in the front pockets of his bag. “Right,” you nodded, leaning your head back up as you fought the urge to throw up, standing up as well as you gathered your things. “Have fun,” you smiled weakly, not making eye contact as you let out a few small coughs before holding the rest in the moment you felt petals gathering in your throat, clogging up your windpipe.
“Are you okay?” Renjun asked, furrowing his brows as he stretched his arm out to touch your shoulder, but you took a step back before he could, fearing that a mere touch from him would trigger the disease blooming inside of you as you shook your head. “I’m fine, I think it was the latte. I feel kinda sick,” you laughed lightly, finally gathering the courage to look up at the boy. “You were right, I’m never going to order shit here ever again,” you gave him a genuine smile before walking past him to the nearest bathroom, your hand now massaging your throat as you let out a few spluttered coughs.
“Ningning needs you, you should go,” was all you said before Renjun was out of your line of vision.
x. why was he holding her hand when he’s supposed to be mine?
“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!” Yeeun sang out as she danced around in the vinyl store, playing one of Lesley Gore’s infamous tracks from the 1960s, her arms thrown up in the air as you looked through all the vinyls on display on the cashier counter.
Taeyong’s cousin owns a vinyl store near the park and you got news that Taeyong was currently substituting his cousin who went on vacation, so you both decided to unceremoniously burst into the store and bother Taeyong and Brooke’s time by playing loud tunes from the vinyls around you. “I can’t believe you two are playing vinyls and aren’t even paying for it,” Taeyong laughed in disbelief, wrapping an arm around Brooke as the girl continued to type away at her essay written on her laptop screen. “I can’t believe your girlfriend is doing her essay on a weekend,” Yeeun commented with a snort, putting her hands on her hips as you snickered.
“At least I get shit done on time,” Brooke spat back, leaning her head back against her boyfriend’s shoulders as fingers typed away mindlessly without stopping. “Touche,” you grinned, poking your best friend’s sides as you pulled out a vinyl filled with Cinderella soundtracks, letting out a small ‘oooh’ under your breath at the list of songs behind the cover. “Why are you two here anyway? Don’t you two have class today?” Taeyong asked, putting his hands on his hips as he rudely snatched the vinyl away from your grasps to put it back, causing you to send him a threatening look.
Yeeun scoffed, rolling her eyes as the record player continued to play Lesley Gore’s melodious voice. “Our class got canceled,” she said with a wave of her hand before continuing to sing along with the music in the air, causing you to let out a small snicker, shaking your head as you walked up to the counter, leaning your forearm on the surface. “You mean ‘my’ class got canceled, you’re literally skipping because your professor is being a bitch again,” you laughed incredulously, shaking your head in disappointment as Brooke stared at Yeeun in disbelief. Honestly, rich people things.
“You’re skipping class? Dude, you may have that scholarship but you’re going to have to repeat shit if you don’t take class seriously,” Brooke raised her brows incredulously at your friend, clearly surprised that one would skip class despite paying a massive amount of money to get in. Your college wasn’t that prestigious but it still held some kind of high reputation. “I’m not skipping! I’m just pretending that my professor canceled class too, you all might as well pretend with me!” she huffed, shamelessly looking away from the three of you to look through more vinyls, causing you to snort softly.
“Shit, I forgot my laptop in my car. I’m supposed to finish this piece by Sunday,” Taeyong cursed under his breath, reaching a hand up to ruffle his hair in frustration before leaning over to give his girlfriend a loving peck to the temple before walking out of the store and down the streets where his car was parked. “Fine, I’ll pretend like airplanes in the night sky-” you joked as you waved at Taeyong before Yeeun abruptly interrupted you mid sentence.
“We are not bringing up your mordetwi phase,” she huffed, shaking her head in disappointment at you. “It was funny, come on!” you exclaimed, reaching over to sling your arm around your friend’s shoulder with a teasing smile stretched across your face. “Shut up, you’re literally on your deathbed,” she huffed, pushing your arm off of her shoulder, her words inevitably attracting Brooke’s attention away from her essay. “Deathbed?” she asked, confused as she turned to you in slight concern. But before you could utter out some sort of excuse or lie, your best friend once again butted in.
Sitting down on the chairs behind the counter, she looked at you with an expression filled with sadness. “The woman here got hanahaki, currently on the second stage,” she informed Brooke, eliciting a shocked gasp from the curly haired girl. “You have hanahaki? Y/n, you’re aware this ain't something to joke about right? You gotta be kidding,” the way Brooke’s face contorted with sadness almost made you reconsider your decision of not taking the surgery, but nonetheless, you merely sighed as you looked down at your feet. “I didn’t know it was going to get this bad, I thought it was going to go away sooner or later,” you shrugged nonchalantly as if this wasn’t killing you from the inside.
“Renjun, that asshole, I knew something was fishy when you started telling me about this Ningning girl,” she muttered bitterly, loud enough for both of you to hear. You shook your head, laughing it off. “It isn’t his fault, he can’t control who his heart falls for,” hearing yourself admit it outloud was like a punch to the gut, it made your insides churn uncomfortably. “Jesus, Y/n,” Brooke cursed, hissing as she gave a look of concern. “She doesn’t even want to take the damn surgery,” Yeeun added on, looking down on her own shoes as to not show how your decision was affecting her as well.
“You’re- You’re what?”
Chuckling, you turned your back against the counter, sliding down to sit down on the floor, not caring about the amount of germs staining the fabric of your clothes. “I can’t do the surgery, I can’t go through this pain again,” you shook your head, playing with the hem of the shirt you were wearing, smiling mindlessly. “What do you mean? If you take the surgery, you won’t even remember Renjun or any of the pain you’re going through now,” Brooke then moved off of her place from the counter to sit next to you on the floor. Shaking your head, you spared her a saddened glance.
“I can’t fall in love with someone that isn’t Huang Renjun. Even if I erase my feelings and my memories, my heart is still his. Right now, I rather dance with death before he takes me away instead of forgetting him only to fall for Renjun and relive all this pain again as if it’s the first time I’ve endured it,” you explained, sighing heavily as you felt your throat clog up, letting out small coughs, accepting your fate as you watched two or three petals coming out of your mouth in messy bundles. Your friends watched silently in horror as you coughed violently, covering your mouth with one hand and cupping your neck with your other one.
Stage three of hanahaki, the second last stage: more than one petal coming out of the victim’s throat. The first stage being the irritable itching sensation deep in your lungs and the second being coughing out a petal and immensely difficult breathing. These three stages could still be removed by surgery, however, once you get to the fourth stage, there is no turning back. You were as good as dead, no doctor would be able to surgically remove the flowers (yes, by this stage, full blown flowers would be clogging up your lungs) clogging up your respiratory system.
Clearing your throat, you glanced down at the massive amount of petals gathering on your lap, sniffling slightly as you gathered them up into your palms. “Sorry, can I use the washroom?” you asked, laughing awkwardly as you got to your feet, pretending to be oblivious to the horrified expressions on your friends’ expressions. “Uh-yeah, sure. It’s right through the staff room,” Brooke cleared her throat, not knowing what to truly say to you the moment her baffled eyes saw through your sorrowful ones. If you hadn’t told them about this, would they still be looking at you with such sympathy in their irises?
Smiling, you walked towards the staff room, turning to the left to reach the bathroom. Throwing all the petals into the trashcan below the sink, you let out a heavy sigh as you ran your hands through your hair in distress. You then fished out your phone to avert your mind, which was your biggest mistake of all. As your finger swiped your phone open, the first thing that greeted you was none other than Renjun’s newest instagram post. It was a picture of him with a girl you had seen a billion times in highschool; Ningning, with wide smiles on their faces and their hands intertwined together in the corner of the picture. Oh how that was the last, powerful blow your poor heart could take.
Your stomach churned as tears sprung in your eyes, dropping your phone into the sink as your throat suddenly closed up, as if something was clogging it. Your heart ached as if it had taken one of the sharpest daggers in the world, the itching sensation that you’ve gotten used to in your lungs had now grown into excruciating pain as you began to cough as if you were trying to get something out from inside of you. Thoughts spinning, you could barely hear or comprehend your own surroundings.
She was so pretty. Ningning was so pretty, prettier than you could ever be. No wonder Renjun’s heart was in her palms. Why was she so pretty? If you were as pretty as her, would Renjun love you just the same? Renjun had never even held your hand, how could he easily hold someone else’s hand? Why was he holding her hand when he’s supposed to be yours? Why her? You’ve known him for most of his life, you liked him first. Why was she the one who got to hold his heart at the top of her palms? Why was she the one who got to hold his hand and devote all his time to? It wasn’t fair.
There was an inhumane noise that came from your throat, the feeling of liquid and petals coming in contact with your skin, causing shivers down your spine as you slowly looked down.
There was blood in your palms. Your own blood. Staining the pretty, yellow, paper-like petals.
There it was. A fully bloomed yellow carnation, the last stage.
“Y/n-” there was a scream. It wasn’t your own. Or was it? It was as if all the shock surging through your veins had cut off every nerve in your body as you turned to your three friends, who were now standing in the doorway a few meters away from you with speechless, teary expressions.
“I don’t want to die,” was all you could choke out.
xi. enchanted
“Hey Renjun? I was wondering if you wanted to go to the planetarium today?”
“I can’t call right now, Y/n.”
“What, why? Are you okay? You sound stressed out.”
“I told you I can’t call right now, I’m stuck in traffic and Ningning needs a heart donor, quick. I can’t take you to the planetarium today, okay?”
“Ningning? Again?”
“Don’t be selfish, Y/n. Ningning’s mom asked me to take care of her when she’s not around. She has a heart condition, you have to understand that.”
“Renjun, I’m sick too.”
“Learn to take care of yourself for once. I can’t be there for you all the time, it’s probably just a fever.”
*BEEP*
“Renjun?”
He had hung up. That was it, your last hope to save your own life. You even swallowed your own pride to ask him for help, only for him to reject and turn it down. Here you are now, in a hospital gown, walking around the halls during your free hour considering everyone else was too busy to visit you at the hour. The hospital's plain white walls stretched out across the endless hallways reminded you that your life was going to completely change after this, for your life is about to be taken away by these carnations blooming in your respiratory system. It’s been almost a week since you’ve been admitted to the hospital as a patient, the doctors claimed that it was too late to save you. Unless you wanted to try the surgery, they could perform an immediate operation, however there was a 70% chance that you weren’t going to survive.
You were going to die, and there was no way to save you. Yet again, the man who caused this illness was also the only cure, the boy who had driven you up to this stage was the only person you wanted to see at the moment. It was almost laughable that even after all the pain and horror you’ve been through, you still wanted him to be here, to at least hold your hand once.
Your ears swallowed up the distant, pained wailing of other patients instead of Renjun's laughter, your taste buds were drenched in lashings of your own blood in replacement of that mouth-watering ramen that nearly burnt your tongue. Not even the sound of children running down the halls in hospital gowns could blur or fade the hardest memory engraved in your brain ; Renjun's warm smile. His smile that will never be seen by you again now that his heart strings are all tangled up within Ningning’s fingers. All hope was lost. Even if you chose to do the surgery sooner, you knew you couldn't recollect and perform all those memories of the boy you loved ever again.
All the universe would do is push you into the same abyss that you’re currently in ; love. All for a certain boy who fancies yellow carnations and stays up at ungodly hours to eat ramen and do his art assignments.
“Hey, are you okay?” a soft voice called out a few moments later, snapping you out of your trance. Looking up from your dead phone, your aimless, dull eyes glanced up to see a familiar, pretty face that you’ve been disliking for years. Ningning. This was the hospital she was staying at too? Just your luck, cause of death number 2 was here ironically right after cause of death number 1 refused to save you.”I’m fine,” you shook your head, wiping the tears away from your face as you sniffled. “You don’t look like it,” she chuckled softly, taking a seat next to you, putting her hands on her lap.
“Relationship problems?” she asked, tilting her head to the side, offering you an angelic smile. You shook your head, laughing nervously. “If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? You’re way too young to be in a hospital gown,” she commented jokingly, earning a soft chuckle from you as you sighed and gripped on your phone. “First year of college,” you shrugged, leaning back against the metal chair as you gazed up at the ceiling hopelessly. “I’m on the last stage of hanahaki, I’m just waiting for this disease to kill me,” you exclaimed with a half joking manner, a loopy smile hanging on your lips.
She furrowed her brows, shaking her head. “Don’t say that, you still have a whole life ahead of you, you know,” she encouraged in an enthusiastic tone, bumping her shoulder with yours in a weak attempt to cheer you up. “I’ve been here for a week now, I need a heart donor soon,” her facial expression showed nothing but content, as if she wasn’t on the brink of dying too. “You don’t seem all that upset for someone who might not even get a donor,” you placed your hands on top of each other, feeling more comfortable to continue on with the conversation as time went on.
Shrugging casually, she played with her iv tube mindlessly. “I mean, it would be better if I lived longer but so far, I’m pretty content with what I’ve done in this life and the people I’ve met made me even more grateful,” she mirrored your previous actions by leaning back against the chair as if you had known each other for years, gazing at the ceiling with a life-threatening disease eating away at the both of you. Her words touched you, thus causing you to realize how different in the ways you both view life, how you had come to take everything that’s happened so negatively whereas she had probably been keeping her own chin up and being grateful for everything.
Have you ever been grateful for anything throughout these past few months? You don’t even know anymore, that was how lost you were at life at that exact moment.
Was this the reason why Renjun fell for her? Her angelic, kind personality? Or was it how she was enchanting and pretty both inside and out? Whatever the reason was, you couldn’t blame him for falling for her. You may have only made small talk but you knew very well deep in your heart that he wasn’t going to be happy with you anyways, his heart was still in hers and there was no doubt in your mind that hers is still a part of his belongings. You never stood a chance in the first place.
You wanted to hate her. You wanted to hate Ningning with every part of your being, but you knew she hadn't done anything wrong. Renjun hadn’t done anything wrong either. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, it wasn’t their fault that you ended up on your own death bed. An angel like her deserved the world, knowing that she had been tackling this disease since your highschool days, you couldn’t imagine the amount of worry and grief Renjun had been going through for the past few years. You couldn’t blame him for using you as some kind of distraction during her absence.
Ningning still had so much more to live for, yet you had nothing left.
“Ningning! Renjun’s waiting in your hospital room,” a woman called out from afar, you assumed it was her mother due to the old age written across her features. Ningning’s head shot up at this, giving the woman an enthusiastic thumbs up before turning to look at you with an easy-going smile on her face. “That’s my cue, I gotta go now. It was fun talking to you,” she giggled, laying her hand on your shoulder to give an affectionate squeeze. “I hope we can meet each other again soon,” she patted your shoulder before getting up to her feet, holding the iv stand as she grunted.
“Your boyfriend?” you asked with a smile of your own, your own heart screaming at you for saying such a thing. You had finally come to terms with the fact that Renjun wasn’t yours, you were just believing that he was. The flustered expression on her face said it all as she shook her head vigorously in denial. “No! NO! Just a friend from highschool, he has a girlfriend too! They’re super cute together,” she let out a small ‘pfft’ afterwards, causing you to giggle softly, minus the fact that your chest was practically in excruciating pain. “Doesn’t really seem like it,” you raised your brow at her, shrugging softly.
“Take care of him, he seems like a nice guy,” you informed her seriously, reaching over to shake her hand affirmingly, earning a confused expression from the older girl. “You’re weird,” she shook her head with a disbelief laugh. “I’m Ningning by the way, what’s your name?” she introduced herself, laying her hand with the iv tube stuck to it on her chest. If she knew that Renjun was in a relationship, there was no doubt in your mind that she knew your name, maybe she knew how you looked as well. Perhaps she had forgotten what you looked like. After all, you went to the same high school before she moved away.
Smiling, you waved your hand at her. “I’ll tell you the next time we meet, how about that?” you asked with a tilt of your head, letting out a small cough. Ningning shook her head, placing her hands on her hips as she gave you a pointed look. “We better meet again soon then,” she huffed with a small wave before walking towards her mother, watching you wave goodbye as she disappeared right around the corner, presumably to the elevator to her own room. A sad smile had replaced the previously genuine one as you stood up weakly to head to your own room with a weak grunt.
It was over. At least, for you it was.
Stumbling into your room, you quickly ran into the bathroom as you had another violent session of throwing up carnations and blood with tears staining your cheeks. It was a truly ugly sight, just like the state of your own heart. Ugly. Your throat burned the more you cough, your lungs and heart screamed and cried for help, begging for someone to free them of all of this searing pain. Hands gripping on the toilet seat as more inhumane sounds of your coughing and choking filled the empty bathroom, your heart beating rapidly in your ears as you sobbed in pain.
After you got everything out, the only thing that came to mind at that exact moment was to reach the phone and call the only person you had left in your life.
Of course, he didn’t answer either.
“Hey Yangs?” you sniffled, your voice weak and raspy as you leaned against the wall and sat hopelessly on the tiled floor. “Can I ask you something? You’re probably not going to even bother hearing this out until like three days later but I just need you to answer me. Is it really hard to love someone like me?” you coughed out another petal, wiping off the blood at the corner of your lips as tears continuously streamed down your face. “My own parents left me, your dad left not long after I came into the picture, Renjun-” you stopped yourself from making things even worse as you took a deep breath to compose yourself. “I know you don’t like me much either, is it that hard for someone like me to be loved?”
“Sorry, I’m probably bothering you from whatever the fuck you’re doing right now,” you let out a staggering breath, an uncontrollable sob elicited from your throat. “If you’re wondering why I’m not home, I’m in the hospital right now. I’ll be here for a while, I’m just having another one of those moments,” you shook your head, trying to remain strong.
“I’m going to take a nap now, okay?”
xii. i love you so please let me go
“Thank god Ningning’s able to find a donor in time,” her mother sighed in relief, watching her sleeping figure through the window glass, putting a hand on her chest in relief. Renjun nodded in agreement, watching as his dear friend will finally stop worrying about her heart stopping at any given moment.
“I’m so glad Ningning won’t have to go to the doctors for a check up every three days, I’m happy for her. She can live a longer life now,” he exclaimed, a relieved smile stretched across his face as he fidgeted with his fingers. “Though about her donor, I pity the poor girl so much. She has a whole life to live for,” the older woman shook her head in sympathy as she sat down beside Renjun on the waiting chairs.
This caught Renjun’s attention as he let out a small ‘oh?’. “You know her, ma’am?” he asked, tilting his head to the side in curiosity with a small hum. The elderly woman shook her head but sucked in her bottom lip nervously, “this is highly confidential but since you’ve been here since day one I’m sure it won’t hurt to tell you,” she placed a hand on her chin as she thought about the girl who had donated her own heart for her daughter. “She’s actually someone younger than both you and Ningning, Renjun. I think she’s a student from your campus too,” she whispered, looking around to see if anyone was listening in.
It wasn’t very good to speak ill of the dead after all.
“My school?” he furrowed his brows in confusion, an uneasy feeling settling in his gut. “A female student younger than me that also goes to my school?” he muttered under his breath as the gears in his head began to move. “Apparently, the poor girl was on her last stage of hanahaki and offered to donate her heart before she agreed to do a surgery to remove the yellow carnations in her lungs. Poor child passed away from unrequited love, honestly, my condolences to the poor family,” she rambled on, similar to how his own mother would ramble when it came to discussing Ningning’s medical condition.
Renjun's visage silenced for a good minute. That description could fit just about any college girl for all he knew, but his gut told him she wasn't just any mere young girl at campus. It couldn’t be, could it? It could’ve been just some sort of coincidence that his favorite flowers were yellow carnations; a symbol of rejection and disappointment. If he knew anyone in his life who suffered a severe illness, someone who was suffering from one sided love while holding a broken heart filled with adoration and fondness. If anyone he knew was fond of someone
“Renjun, I’m sick too.”
Your weak voice from the call you two had a few days ago echoed in his mind as his heart started to beat erratically in his chest, mind going haywire at the possibility of- 'no, it can’t be. It couldn’t possibly- could it?' Renjun’s breathing slowly became uneasy as he gripped the ends of the sleeves of his sweater, pupils shaking as he attempted to rationalize with his own scattered thoughts. 'It can't be.' This could all just be a coincidence, right? You were laying in bed with a fever not with his favorite flowers clogging up your respiratory system. At least, that’s what he thought.
"In the end, the doctors couldn't save her. They said that the flowers in her lungs were growing so rapidly that they couldn't stop them from clogging up all the airflow. The poor girl passed away not even thirty minutes into the surgery," she added, putting her head in her hands at the thought of her own child being in the same position. "She must've been suffering such unbearable pain for the flowers to bloom that quick, she must've loved that person so much. I can't even imagine what I would've done if Ningning somehow got that disease."
Clearing his throat to cut off her rambling, Renjun nervously fidgeted in his seat as he turned to look at her with a heavy heart expression. "I'm sorry but did you happen to catch her name? The name of the donor?" He sucked in his bottom lip anxiously, fingers tapping against the metal seat but also gripping tightly at the same time, he could feel all the blood rushing through his veins as his heart continued to beat louder and louder. He could barely hear himself think with how rapid his heart beat was.
The woman perked up at this, her mouth forming an 'o' before humming to recall the name. "I think it was Y/n L/n? Take it with a grain of salt, though. I'm not entirely sure," she said with a shrug.
Oh how Renjun's heart had almost come to a stop at this.
"Do you know her, Renjun?"
Stumbling up to his feet, he desperately fished out his phone from his back pocket with clammy, shaking fingers as a lump began to gather in the poor boy's throat. "Is she someone you know, Renjun?" Ningning’s mother asked once again as Renjun began dialing your number, muttering silent curses under his breath with every single beep his phone let out. "I know her. I knew her very much so," was all he could utter before his feet started moving as fast as they could towards the exit of the hospital and to the parking lot, desperate to get to the car.
-
"Y/n?"
"God dammit, please answer the call."
"That wasn't you right? It was just some other Y/n from our school, right?"
"It can't be you, right?"
"Please pick up the call, I'm begging you."
"Y/n, you can't leave me."
"Y/n, you're sick right? I'm coming over, okay? This time, I'm staying, I promise I'm staying for as long as you want. Please, just pick up the call."
"Fuck, I- wait for me, okay?"
"You wanted to go to the planetarium right? For our first actual special date. Let's go to the planetarium. Right now. I'm sorry I said no the other day, I'm not busy anymore. We can go to the planetarium now, y/n."
"We can gaze at the stars and spot constellations again. Just like how we did when we were kids. Dress up nicely, okay, love?"
"We can visit the flower shop too afterwards and get lots and lots of roses. It's time that I pick you some in return, yeah? You'll finally give me those carnations you promised."
"Thank you for being so patient with me throughout these past few months, Y/n. I promise, I'll make it up to you today."
"Can you please pick up the call so I can hear your voice again?"
"Y/n, let's finally go to the planetarium. Okay?"
-
'Hey Renjun, remember when you said you didn't like roses because they had thorns when we were seven?'
'Why didn't you tell me that carnations have thorns too?'
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Lying Is A Formal Pleasure
Yandere!Hawks x Pro Hero!Reader
Forced into a “relationship” to better your image, you agonize through the night as you pretend to be head over you heels in love with a douchebag.
warnings: non consensual touching, light violence
A/N: I posted this a few months ago, but after a bad mental health night, I deleted it like a day later. But now I’m screaming over my oneshot inactivity and the 80 WIPs that remain unfinished, so I figured I’d post something that’s done fhjfv. :’D
Blinking flashbulbs and whispering onlookers flood your audio and visual spaces, forcing you to pause while you take a moment to gather yourself, swaying uneasily in the too-high heels you’ve been forced into. You’re close to being overwhelmed when Hawks places a smooth hand on the small of your exposed back, ushering you closer to his side. He waves to a camera flickering with a red dot, the one that tells the two of you that you’re live on air. The warm impression of his fingers on your skin offers you an insincere sense of security. You’re not as used to being on screen as your ‘lover,’ so you let him take the lead. It’s easier this way, as resentful as you are to admit it.
A thin woman in a red dress holds a microphone up between the two of you and asks if the happy couple has high hopes in regards to their award nominations. Hawks, always quick to flash a charming grin, leans into the mic and says, “we’re both just very honored to be here.”
It’s not like him to be so humble, especially not when he has an audience, but your publicist recently advised you that although his pride is fitting for his singular image, nobody quite likes a power couple who, in her words, “thinks they’re the shit.” People want to see bashful, blossoming love. They want to see you be together, grow together, and develop together. You have to be shy—show that you’re excited to be by his side, and he has to be supportive—happy to introduce you to the sensational side of being a hero. It’s all a facade, even your relationship, but if you stay true to your new role, your popularity will see a serious incline.
Hawks runs his hand up your spine and you get a chill when you realize that the reporter asked you a question: how long have the two of you been together?
“Oh-” you start, shifting to look up at your partner. Amber eyes bare down on you and you swallow dryly, trusting that you look enchanted, rather than sick to your stomach. If you were to be honest with her, you’d say, ‘too long,’ but it’s not your job to be honest tonight. You have to be delightful and charming, cute and coy. So instead, you timidly blink up at Hawks, cover your shy grin with your elegantly gloved hand while leaning into him, and say, “nearly two months.”
The number two hero chuckles, moving his hand over to your side to squeeze it a little harder than necessary. He’s telling you one thing: wrong answer.
“Well, she says two months, while I say three.” Hawks is all confidence and little to no self-doubt. In a way, he’s everything you want to be, and every time you think about it in that light, the more you seem to detest him. You hate that you virtually need him in this respect to get you where you want to be in your career. You hate that he’s living this farce up. “It took my little angel a while to finally agree to go on a date with me. Even then, I knew that we were meant to be together.” His eyes slide back to you, and his tone takes a dark edge that nobody besides you will be able to pick up on. “From the very first moment I laid my eyes on her.”
It’s not entirely a lie. Hawks had barrated you to go out with him for about a month before your publicist told you it would be good for your public image to have a pro—the number two pro—by your side. Apparently, you and him work well because of your quirk: siren. Her reasoning is that you sing just like birds sing. Hawks is a bird. Therefore, you and him should go hand-in-hand. The public aptly named your relationship birdsong and you’ve already done a photoshoot where you had to pose behind a golden birdcage where Hawks sat inside, gripping onto the cage’s bars, staring up at you while you had your lips pursed subtly, pantamiming a song. The irony of your situation is that there is a metaphorical prison in your fake relationship, but it’s not Hawks who sits in the cage. The second irony of your situation is that hawks don’t sing at all; they prey.
“Awwww,” the reporter whines in a shrill, albeit melodramatic voice, looking adoringly from you to Hawks, “I couldn’t imagine how anybody could ever say no to you! That must’ve put a damper on your ego! Poor thing.”
Hawks shrugs like he does—another thing you despise. You can smell the smugness wafting off his chest that seems to puff up as he speaks. “I knew she was just playing hard to get.” He winks at you, sliding his hand down to sit not so obediently at your hip. You feel him drifting towards your ass cheek, and you struggle to not change your fraudulent smile into a full on sneer. “And she knew I liked the challenge.”
The reporter’s eyes aren’t even on you when she asks, “really, how could you say no to this dreamboat? I certainly wouldn’t be able to!”
If you want him, you can take him, you think tartly as you maneuver your arm around Hawks. He makes a sort of low, sort of grunting noise when you lace your fingers through his heavy feathers, and you realize that this might be the first time you’ve actually touched his wings. You’re bitter to admit that the feel of them in your hands are soft to the touch—enjoyable, almost. They might be the most redeeming thing about him.
You tighten your hand into a fist and tug, softly at first, but when you feel him tense next to you, you pull a little tighter, enjoying the brief sadism break you allow yourself.
“I must have been too darn shy at first!” Your words are syrup dribbling over glass. You wrench your hand, twisting into Hawks’ wings. He clears his throat in an attempt to cover up a groan, his hold on your side worsening infinitesimally. “Or maybe I just couldn’t believe that the number two hero was actually interested in me. Honestly? I was starstruck! I thought I was being used for some kind of joke!”
“Hah…” Hawks’ thumb rubs circles in your back when you guide your hand along the stream of his wings and grab at a different bunch of feathers. He whispers, “take it easy, chickadee…’
But you don’t want to take it easy. Hawks’ cheeks redden a bit more every time you move your fingers through his wings. He must be incredibly uncomfortable and you take pride in the fact that, for once, it’s not you who’s suffering. You lean into his shoulder, offer the reporter woman a smile so sickly sweet, you can practically feel sugar coating your gums when you say, “now every day I get to spend with him is a dream come true!!”
One of Hawks’ eyes twitches when you give the tuft of feathers in your hold a final twist. He spreads his palms wide on your back, and slowly curls his fingers inward, pulling on your skin.
After a few more questions, the reporter notices Hawks glancing down to the large hall being used as the ceremony venue, and thanks the both of you for indulging the public with information about your relationship. Sending a final wink to the camera, Hawks guides you through arched doors and nods at a few other well-known heroes attending the ceremony. You sneak away when you think Hawks is about to get lost in another conversation, but when you slip into an empty lounge reserved for award nominees, he’s right on your heels.
Ignoring his presence completely, you fix yourself a drink at an unattended minibar. You swirl the ice around in your glass and finally turn to scowl at your partner. He looks off, or not very present, still smirking, but dazed. Maybe he tied his tie too tightly, and he’s blocking the blood flow to his brain. You grin at the thought of choking him out while you sip on your beverage. Hawks grins back.
Engulfing and consuming the space around you, he takes a confident step towards you. You feel nothing short of a shadow to a tree with his wings puffed out and spread proudly like they are.
“Nervous?” He asks, placing a hand on the bar as he leans closer to you. You give him a half-hearted shrug, trying to be nonchalant. Even if Hawks knows you're uncomfortable, you aren’t willing to show him an inch of fear.
“You shouldn’t be,” he goes on, staring at your lips. He watches you suck down your drink and clears his throat. “You were great out there.”
“Believable?” You ask sarcastically, licking your bottom lip. You reach out to stroke the inside of his wings, running your hands along his feathers teasingly slow, enjoying the sight of each row of his crimson plume twitch down along with your touch.
“Believable,” he chuckles. “I had no idea that I was your dream come true.”
You scoff and place your empty glass down. “Mhm, my everlasting, waking nightmare.” You bring your arm back to your hip. “I’m truthful when I can be.”
The corner of his mouth quirks up into a goofy half-grin. It’s off-putting. He isn’t any less sharp than usual, but there’s something about him right now that has goosebumps raising on your arms.
“C’mere,” he coaxes, grabbing your wrist. You snap it back immediately.
“Oh, please.” You push past him, intentionally brushing into his wings, and begin strutting away.
“You’re such a goddamn tease,” he rasps, hooking you sideways. Both of his hands curl around your hips, and you’re immediately pulled back against him. “Have I ever told you how sexy your back is?”
“Get off of me,” you say without enthusiasm, because it’s not the first time he’s gotten handsy with you in closed spaces. Call yourself jaded, but it’s something that you’re semi-used to. So, when he doesn’t let up, all you can do is roll your eyes and fetch your compact mirror out of your clutch. While you fix your lips, Hawks lays his chin on your shoulder. His eyes find yours, and though they’re looking straight at you, they are, at once, incredibly ambiguous and eerily hyperfocused. He squeezes his arms around your torso, then brushes his lips across your cheek. Against your stubborn will, your stomach flips when he plants kisses on your jaw and trails down to your neck. The scruff of his beard tickles your skin, making your shift around in his embrace. That's when you feel a stiffening behind you.
“Hawks, what the hell are you doing?”
“Shame on you-“ his breath is hot on your ear- “touching me like that on camera, baby? Who knew my angel could be so naughty…”
You jerk your elbow back into his gut.
“I never touched you,” you seethe, ready to actually throw hands, when he rushes you forward, pushing you against the bar so that you’re lodged between it and him. Hot blood floods your face when you feel him pulse against your ass, and it doesn’t help when he snakes a hand through the back opening of your dress, sliding around to cup your stomach. He pulls you back so his bulge rubs between your cheeks.
“You’re seriously crossing the line right now!” You push against the bar, trying to bump him back, but he crowds you with his wings, shrouding you just like the metaphorical birdcage you’ve been stuck in for two—three months. You grasp a fistful of his feathers and yank on them hard, but he only snickers in response.
“Oh, little dove,” he groans, rocking his pelvis against your ass. It’s like he doesn’t even hear your protests. “Fuck. How’d you know I like it rough?” He kisses the hollow of your throat and hums appreciatively when you reluctantly shudder in response. “You have no idea how badly I wanna slip my cock into you right now. Finally wipe that sour look off your face as I drive myself in, inch by inch.” His fingers move down to pet your pubic bone. You want to scream in defiance when you feel a flash of liquid heat pool between your thighs. He dips in between your folds and he croons. “Bet you’d hug me nice and tight too. You don’t spread your legs for just anybody, do you babygirl?”
“Certainly not for you,” you rebuke. You grasp your abandoned glass, smash it against the bar, and spin yourself around, swiping your makeshift weapon across the number two hero’s face.
There’s a moment of shocked silence that falls between you two. A streak of red falls from the cut on Hawks’ cheeks and falls in spots on the whites in between his tuxedo coat. He dabs at the wound and examines the blood on his fingers, then his chest.
He snickers.
“Oh man, I wonder what they’ll think about this.” He shakes his head, grinning. “What do I tell ‘em: we were getting a little too frisky in the lounge, or do I lie and say it was an accident?”
“You can tell whoever, whatever you want,” you mumble. You know you should apologize for the sanctity of your status, but seeing his blood is cathartic to you, in a way. At least, until he speaks again.
With a clever fox smile, smug as the king of hell, Hawks drawls out, “the rising hero, Siren, is unstable and shouldn’t be trusted by the public.”
Your eyebrows pinch together. Hawks’ grin crawls wider, contented by your reaction to his threat.
“I was telling her not to get her hopes up about the awards ceremony. ‘There are a lot of other promising heroes gunning for The Best New Hero award,’ is what I told her, and she lost it…”
“Hawks—“
“She came at me with a glass she broke on the bar. Honestly, I’ve been worried about her drinking habits since day one, but I didn’t do enough to help her with the issue. In a way, it’s my fault this happened.”
“It is your fault!” You stomp your heel and throw an accusatory finger into his chest. “You attacked me!”
“Who do you think they’ll believe, sweetheart?” Hawks takes your hand in his, brings the back of your wrist up to his mouth, and kisses it. “The new hero with a pretty face, pretty voice, but is otherwise unknown, or me? Hero numero dos: Japan’s most trusted.”
You glare at him and he loves it. He enjoys every minute he puts you through mental turmoil.
“I could tell them it was an accident,” he sings, looping an arm around your waist to briskly pull flush up against him. You let him, but keep your head turned so you don’t meet his gaze. He continues—“but you’d have to make it up to me, little dove.”
His wings fall over you, shrouding you closer to him. He presses his lips to your temple, but doesn’t kiss you—doesn’t even speak again. He’s waiting for you to ask how.
“I’m not going to sleep with you,” you say into his shoulder.
“You don’t have to,” he hums, the vibration of his voice buzzing down your neck, “we can just end your career tonight.”
“Hawks.”
“Don’t act like you’re not soaking wet right now. I felt that cunt, babe. Turns out, I’m not the only one who likes it rough.” He turns your head to face him. “You want me-“ he sneers-“and I didn’t even have to stroke your feathers to get you there.”
You close your eyes when his lips greet yours. The kiss is quick, but it lingers like old faith. If you let him in, he’ll stay there. You know that. But he’s backed you into a corner.
“You’re my girl,” he coos, “and I wanna be civil—I do, baby. You know I only want what’s best for us. But you’re gonna have to meet me halfway in order to get us where we need to be. Do you understand?”
Us...we…He throws those words around as if they matter. Then again, they do matter. They must, to him at least, but not to you. The only thing you really care about is me. Still, you nod.
“I’m gonna need you to say it, Siren.”
You sigh. “Yes, Hawks. I understand.”
“Good!” He chirps enthusiastically, any dark tone he previously took vanished. He spins you around to face the door that leads back to the hall. At first, you think he’s going to continue where he left off, but his hand finds its place at the small of your back, and he guides you forward.
“Now, let's go win us some awards,” Hawks says, bringing his hand down to pat your ass, “then we can make sure both of our dreams come true.”
#yandere bnha#yandere!Hawks#yandere!hawks x reader#tw yandere#bnha x reader#bnha reader insert#reader insert#hawks x reader#yandere male
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( ROSERAIE. )
What you had - so brilliant and beautiful and bright it was almost impossible to look at head-on - was what was tearing you two apart. It was your love that would be your demise.
pairing. jjk x f!reader.
genre + rating. my take on a hanahaki!au. pretty heavy on the angst. general.
tags / warnings. mention of minor character death, breaking up, soulmates, angst, unrequited love, sick character (hanahaki), bittersweet, non-idol.
wc. 3.2k
beta reader(s). my forever queens, @hobi-gif @snackhobi! you both bring such hope and joy (hahahaha) to my life!!! and of course, the loveliest angels @joheun-saram, @pars-ley, and @ditttiii for reading through and giving me excellent feedback!
author note. this is a part of @goldenclosetnetwork‘s 23 | jungkook’s birthday project. it’s my first time writing a hanahaki au so... i have a lot of headcanons for it but i’m not sure whether it all came across in the story. 😰 eep. anyway, please enjoy and feel free to leave any feedback. i would love and appreciate it! most importantly: happy birthday, kook! 💖
Your parents were a young match. Together from the tender age of eleven, they’d shared pieces of themselves readily, trading secrets in tree houses and blanket forts. Nothing was held back - a childhood crush brought to life by playful ribbing and sugar-coated snacks. Where your mother went, so did your father; she was his light as much as he was her shadow. Two halves of a destined whole, earnest and pure. Friends first.
It made perfect sense when they shared their dreams - the same one they’d had since they could remember - and it was identical: swimming in the ocean with a faceless friend, families on their respective four and three-week long road trips. They’d recognised each other immediately, felt the click the moment they stepped off the camper van. Your father had called it cooties; your mother said butterflies.
It didn’t matter that they’d never seen each other’s faces until that moment. There was the spark. Recognition. The rest was history.
Jungkook’s parents have been soulmates since the early 2000s. His father had lost his wife - his first soulmate - exactly one year prior to their meeting. He didn’t have his recurring dream until a fortnight before he met his wife. Hadn’t expected it, either. He’d been talking about his day in his local support group (it never got easier, he’d discovered) and he’d mentioned it in passing, glossing over the details of the vivid new pictures painted against his eyelids. His second wife - his second chance - had attended after losing her son. A complete chance. Serendipitous.
It wasn’t always simple, though. The heartbreaking endings came just as often as the happy.
There were people who lost their soulmates before even meeting them. They’d never know they’d lost their first one until the next dream came - if it came. If they were lucky enough.
There were message boards and dating sites. Places people stripped themselves bare and spilt their secrets to the world. Desperate for love, they detailed their dreams and hoped that their other half was somewhere out there, reading those same words.
Some, though, never found their special someone. Life came at you fast and from all directions - or it never came at all, caught somewhere across the globe in the form of someone you’d never meet. Those were the most painful circumstances, as if fate was cheating the system. Here’s a love you know you have, but that you’ll never experience. It was terribly cruel.
(But when was life ever fair?)
There were stories about those that never found their puzzle piece and how it felt, whether it hurt. Most said it was a quiet ache, something you never really noticed until you thought too closely about it, like a scar that had healed over or a loved one gone a long time. Painful in an explicable way and only - luckily, miserably - softened by ignorance.
Others spoke about it like death, missing an integral part of themselves. It played a large part of their life, shaping and changing them with each passing day. They couldn’t fully live without their person, even if they’d never met them. It was simply the principal of the matter.
You’d never quite existed in either camp. You’d always wanted to find love but you hadn’t rushed it. You figured you’d meet your happily ever after at some point. Maybe at your work - caught between the shelves or returning an overdue book - or maybe out with your dog, walking the same route you took every day. They’d show up one day. You were sure of it.
Love had a way of surrounding you.
Your best friends - because of course the two of them would fall for each other (it was nauseating) - had found each other young too, on the grounds of the elementary school you all played on. They’d been bonded since the beginning, secrets exchanged in art class and atop monkey bars. You’d cheered them on the whole way, giddy in a way you couldn’t describe. Being around it felt like standing beneath the sun, scorching heat warming you all the way to the core. It didn’t matter that you didn’t have it for yourself (yet).
They’d come. Eventually. You felt it in your bones and later, you’d learn, in your shins.
He’d come around the corner fast as a bullet, headphones in and hood pulled over his head. You’d barely have time to avoid him, poor coordination lending itself to disaster when only one of your feet would make it out of his path of destruction.
BANG!
It was something right out of a campy romance novel. Guy goes jogging, runs headlong into his dearly beloved and nearly gives her a concussion. He feels bad for her scraped knees and falls in love with her dog. His morning runs become theirs and six weeks later, over a late night bite of contrasting gelato flavours - green tea for him, bubble gum for her - they fit the pieces together.
Jungkook’s the faceless boy you’d always dreamt of, one hand on the wheel, the other resting easily on your thigh. He was the one with the slick black AppleWatch and long fingers. You’d never imagined he’d be covered in ink, immaculate designs running the length of his forearm all the way back and across his shoulders. In fact, you’d never thought about tattoos at all.
You get your first and only one with him - intricate red looped around your wrists and over your pinkies. Your own, very real string of fate, sealed and signed forever in rouge.
He was your Prince Charming, your best friend, your bonafide soulmate. You’d done everything together - skydiving, snorkelling, silly photos atop the Eiffel Tower. He’d adapted to your distaste of onions and took them all, meticulously picking them out of stir fries and sauces until not a single sliver remained. You’d learnt to tolerate his unbearably fast driving, white-knuckled and silent when he’d tear around corners too fast in a car too low. You fit perfectly, filling all the spaces he could never, keeping him whole even when he was broken.
Your love was of fairy tales but it was better than that too. Real. Concrete. Solid.
Until it wasn’t.
The two of you had never had any other choice.
That’s what it feels like, at least. He’d done his best - tried every little thing he could’ve possibly imagined - and it’d all amounted to nothing. He’d gone through all the motions, explored every avenue, given everything he had. It wasn’t working. This thing he wanted with every fibre of his being, that he’d hoped for his whole life, just wasn’t working. It wasn’t for him.
“I’m sorry,” he cries, and he knows you know he means it. You can read it between every line of his expression, tucked among the neatly scrawled india ink in faded red, underlining the passages you’d written together. He is sorry. He’d never meant to do this to you, nor you to him. He’d wanted to give you it all - make all your hopes and dreams come true.
Sometimes, fate just had other plans.
Because what the two of you had - so brilliant and beautiful and bright it was almost impossible to look at head-on - was what was tearing you apart. It was your love that would be your demise.
And he can’t bear to hurt the one he loves.
He’d tried so hard. Really, he had. You had too, more than he ever deserved.
There was simply no other option. You’d always come up short. You weren’t the one for him - not anymore - no matter how badly you wanted to be. You weren’t the one meant for him. You’d fumble for that ledge - held so impossibly high, just barely out of reach - before falling right back to where you began. The bottom. He couldn’t stand to see you there, brought to your knees once, twice, a hundred times.
He’d lose count if not for the petals.
Little ones, at first. Tiny pieces of silk you’d found on your pillowcase, outside the shower, in your water glass. They’d been unassuming - reminders you could easily ignore.
Then they’d grown, velvet softness that made it hard to breathe, that had him rubbing soothing circles over your skin, earnest vows winding like vines around your airways. Neither of you had had any idea why it was happening. You were soulmates - bound to each other and destined since the beginning. Your love wasn’t unrequited.
“We’ll figure it out,” he’d said. Sworn. “We’ll get through this.”
Your heart had broken with each promise; his had too, differently, but in perfect tandem.
(Spring still came, steadily, with a rose garden blooming within your insides and freesias in your nose.)
It wasn’t his fault. You would never blame him, even when it was his fist that broke yours, splintered it into a million pieces that cut worse than the thorns in your lungs. You knew this was just as hard for him. He’d had to watch you wither away, even as a patchwork of flowers blossomed in the spaces he’d thought he could keep safe. He hated it - could barely take it. It kept him up all night, tears in his eyes. Even when he slept - managed it, every few days - it’d prompt him awake in a cold sweat.
If he’d known then what had changed, maybe he could’ve fixed it sooner. Maybe he could’ve saved you the heartache. (Weeks later and during a coffee break with the new girl at his startup was not how he’d expected to find his answer.)
“I love you,” you tell him, an ocean of sadness. He loves you too, more than anything, more than there are stars in the sky. He loves you with every part of himself - and yet he knows now that’s what’s causing this. He loves you, but not in the right way. Every touch he offers is wrong, leaving you bruised, broken, barely breathing. It’s a disease - a venereal infection that seeps beneath skin and bone, settling within the marrow. It changes you from the inside out, realigns your DNA until you’re mutated and miserable.
The realisation is devastating: his love causes more harm than it heals.
So he stands there now, caught in the distance between you, eyes melancholy blue. His composure is frayed, crippled beneath the weight of your circumstance. He tries to memorise your face in these last moments - the colour of your hair, the shape of your stare. How you sound in the morning - voice raspy with sleep, dust caught in your eyes. The way you hold him close and the feeling of your eyelashes against his neck in the early hours.
Jeon Jungkook doesn’t want this to end. He doesn’t want to lose you, give you - this - up but he has to. He has to, for you. To give you a chance.
Even after having so little - only five short years - you were about to lose the rest of your lives.
You pack your bags - he helps, folding your favourite sweater (one of his, in truth) alongside your toiletries and undergarments - and you prepare to do the thing that you should never have to do. You sign papers, dot I’s and cross T’s, and put all your treasured memories away into cardboard boxes to never be touched again. You label them neatly and dress tape over edges; Band-Aids meant to hold together the deepest wounds.
You’re going under by anaesthetic and he’ll be here, where he has everything he wishes he could give you. A love he doesn’t deserve, within arms he wishes were yours.
He wonders whether he’ll still feel the pull once it’s done or whether his heart will stay there, tucked somewhere beneath the dug up roots. Whether it’ll be safe, undiscovered like a long lost treasure.
It’s best this way. He tells himself that - loops it on repeat until it’s the only thing he can think. It has to be better. For you, for you, for you.
He knows he’ll carry you with him forever. Like the air in his lungs, you’ll keep him going.
He’s snapped back to the present, to the small hallway of the home you’d built together. The traces of you are gone - all the photos hidden away, your row of shoes missing from beside his. It’s strangely bare. He knows it won’t last long. She’ll be here next week.
Your hand pushes against his cheek, thumb caressing along the seam of his bottom lip, right where the freckle sits. He’s a thief - a criminal, a sinner - when he dips his head, presses back into the warmth of your palm. This isn’t for him to take but he does anyway, eagerly and with deep regret.
“I love you.” Your voice cuts through all the white noise and agony - a beacon in the night, guiding him home.
He smiles, half-hearted and weak and not even his. Every part of him screams at him to beg you not to do it, to accept him for the man he is - lost and weak and sorry. He almost drops to his knees - fights tooth and nail against his aching limbs not to - and brings a hand to yours. The red threads looped around your wrists fit perfectly together, the ends of inked rope caught around your pinkies matching when his fingers slot between yours.
Don’t do this, he pleads, without words or hope.
“I’ll love you forever,” you tell him - promise like he had you. “You’ll always be the brightest star in my sky, Jeon Jungkook.”
He almost cracks - seams near splitting, adhesive tearing from skin - when you return his smile and he can see how hard it is. You’re already broken, all the pieces of your puzzle in terrible disarray.
You’re trying, for him.
“I’m so sorry,” he answers, because that is kinder than an I love you that doesn’t mean what you need it to. Because you deserve better - you deserve it in the same way you mean it.
So he’ll let you leave and he’ll pray this isn’t the worst decision of his whole life.
“I’ll see you.”
He hopes so. He can’t bear the idea of losing you again. He doesn’t think even she could fix him if he had to.
“Be safe,” he whispers, in a voice that stutters your stare and shatters what little resolve you have left. He sees it in your eyes - all the crystallised parts of your composure turned to ash. He wishes he could be sorry. He’s not.
“I love you,” you repeat with an air of finality.
Jungkook does the same: “I’m sorry.”
You leave, ushered into the back of your mother’s tiny sedan. She helps you with your bags and your seatbelt, rubbing your shoulder carefully when baby’s breath slips past your lips and falls all over your lap. She meets his stare when she climbs into the driver’s seat. He tries to read her expression. Understanding? Resentment? Gratitude?
The car pulls away with a groan, disappearing down the tree-lined street. Jungkook stands in the doorway for far longer than he should.
He’s moved on - settled down with the girl of his dreams. Literally.
She’s nothing like you, sarcastic and stubborn with a staunch refusal to ever come second best. She laughs maybe a bit too loud, giving him shit when he orders in another car part. She’d eat an onion raw, if she could, and takes showers hot enough to slough the skin from her bones. They have a home together and in a year’s time, he thinks he’ll propose. He’s not in any rush, though, because he knows she’s his forever.
(Knows it, even though you’d once been that same shining star to him. He has to believe it won’t happen again. Life can’t screw someone twice, right? Lightning never strikes the same spot or something like that?)
Still, he tries to forget the feeling of you.
It isn’t as hard as he’d thought it would be. The love exists as it always has, just differently, in the palm of his hand and not the space behind his ribs. You’re his best friend and he is disgustingly, unbelievably lucky.
He’d gotten his second chance. Even if he’d once resented it, he had everything now.
You still go for your morning runs and he still changes your oil because you’d never learnt how to. His parents invite you for Sunday dinners; you’re gracious enough to decline them. You don’t see it as pity - you just don’t want to intrude. (It isn’t your place any longer.) You accept all the changes readily, without regret. You promise you’ll go by one day.
Your parents never speak to him. He doesn’t blame them. At the supermarket, on the street, in passing when he’s coming and they’re leaving - it’s radio silent.
It’s been six months and you haven’t dreamt at all. They’d hoped - prayed - that you’d find someone new after him, someone to treat you right. You don’t mind, you tell them. I’ll meet my special eventually, you say (again, again).
He wonders whether you resent them for it - their concern, perhaps a bit overbearing and offered with a heavy hand. If you do, you say nothing, playing along each time they suggest you meet another friend’s son, another junior at your father’s accounting firm. You don’t understand the sad way they watch you.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles one night, seated at the neighbourhood cafe you’d frequented on your first date. Your idea, because you loved coffee and, in your old words, this was your place. The start of it all, where he’d knocked you hard onto pavement and stolen your heart in the process.
You don’t remember it now. Not in the same way.
This is somewhere you come for their great matcha lattes, where you waste a few too many evenings when you just want to get out of the house. It isn’t the place he’d told you he loved you or where you’d resolved your first fight.
(It’d been stupid. He’d forgotten to pick up groceries for your first dinner with your parents. You’d been so stressed you’d snapped at him, carrying tension into the rest of the evening. He’d apologised with an almond croissant and your favourite green drink.)
It’s like a wall has gone up, splitting your heart in two. The part of you that’d once been Jungkook’s remains out of reach, caught behind a gate neither of you have the key to.
“For what?” You quip, a milk moustache presenting itself over the rim of your mug.
Jungkook shrugs. He can’t make you understand. “Y’know,” he mumbles into his red bean mochi bun. It sticks to his teeth and coats them in soft white flour. “Just— everything.” It’s not enough, either as an explanation or an apology. It falls terribly short, barely worthy of a participation trophy.
“It’s fine.” You say it every time, clockwork in response to the same apology he always gives - out of the blue and vague.
“No, but I’m—”
You level him with a glare. It might’ve hurt once but now it settles like a scolding from a sibling. He reminds himself this is how it should be, you there and him here - two parallel lines.
The guilt never goes away.
tag list. @neverthefirstchoice @youwannabelostandnotbefound @snackhobi
#goldenclosetnet#gcn23#magicshopnet#ficswithluv#thebtswritersclub#cypherwritersnet#networkbangtan#heartsforbts#bts#bts au#bts imagine#bts fic#bts oneshot#bts angst#bts jungkook#jeon jeongguk#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook au#jungkook imagine#jungkook fic#jungkook oneshot#jungkook angst#jungkook x oc#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook fanfic#work.zip#oneshot.zip#jungkook.doc
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Types of People: Colors
red: sleek daggers, wilted roses in a nighttime garden, volatile emotions, falling off stone towers crawling with ivy, cherry wine in pristine glasses, dark eyes, vintage t-shirts, blood on white marble, wicked smiles, likes to be chased, pointed looks, defensive.
orange: extroverted and bubbly, modern hotels, the charm of New York City, orange blossoms and peach trees, really sweet, cream puffs, organized, bullet journals, soft giggles, long eyelashes, exudes warmth, hair is always on point, probably has lots of friends.
yellow: indie music playing faintly through headphones, tired sighs and bright smiles, introverted, flowers tucked in their hair, denim overalls and striped socks, city parks with friends, interlocked hands, fantasy novels tucked under their arm, dreaming of a better place.
green: fruity smoothies, paint-splattered jeans, wandering through art museums, likes the countryside, rock music, loud laughter, bubble tea in their hand at all times, the smell of wintergreen gum, messy hair, lots of pets, is always hungry, tall pine trees, fierce mood swings.
blue: walking by the ocean, hair blown backwards by the wind, steaming mugs of tea, introverted, somehow knows everything, crescent moons and twinkling stars, piles of books, the sound of rain on a window, full of stories, an old soul, beautiful evening skies.
purple: royalty, long staircases descending into gardens, thick mystery novels, knowing gazes, vintage glasses, amethysts, fields of lavender, carefree laughter, falling in love, wistfulness, deep eyes, hard to get to know, magic spells, quiet whispers, plum wine.
pink: bubblegum, riding skateboards, big smiles, flirty af, likes to laugh, good fashion sense, the Eiffel Tower at sunset, colored hallways in hotels, neat notes, brightly colored pens, extroverted, gives good relationship advice, confident, wants to go to Southern France.
brown: vintage sweaters, hands wrapped around a steaming mug of hot chocolate, soft boots in autumn leaves, quiet and soft-spoken, Korean street clothing, tired but warm eyes, the scent of cinnamon, mom friend asf, an old soul, good at writing novels and poetry.
black: deadpan sense of humor, tall buildings, satellites in pitch black skies, bitter coffee, feeling drowsy while wrapped in blankets, hands smudged with ink, eyebags, insomnia, doesn’t have many friends, starless nights, clouds covering the moon, wants to escape.
white: probably owns a flower crown, sunlight streaming through gauze curtains, bunnies hopping through a field, blushes easily, the scent of vanilla, a sky covered by clouds, well liked but few who know them well, gentle touches, pleasant dreams, optimistic, handfuls of daisies.
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Future Hope - chapter 1.5 - Practice Makes Perfect
Our heroes didnt get their powers and knew from night to day how to manage them, especially those who had physical changes to their body. Our soon-to-be heroes were all reunited in Maria's house, they had planed to spend the afternoon practing and exploring their new limits and abilities, all helping eitch other.
They decided since Griff had the biggest change, they would focus on him first. At the moment they were out in backyard, eitch one giving suggestions on what to begin first.
"Pick us all up at once with your new muscles!" Said Muffin excitedly. "That's still too light! Pick us all up plus Maria's car" Said Spike, chewing once again on a bubblegum.
"You all leave Hellride out of this!" Maria responded angrily. "That car was expensive as fuck and I refuse to go back to a life of Ubers!" She crossed her arms, indignified.
"You named your car?" Kip answered from high up a tree branch, as cats do. "I name all my belongings, what of it?" Maria answered. "And they're all cool names, too".
"Hellride? Really?" Spiked scoffed. "Because she rides fast as Hell! Look can we get back on track and find something for Griff to test his strenght?!" Maria answered nervously with a touch of embarrassment.
"Unless we find an Indiana Jones boulder for him to spin on his finger like a damn basketball we arent gonna get any damn progress!" Spike shouted back.
Maria sighed and shook her head. "I hate it when you have a point.." Griff nervously scratched the back of his head. "There must be something we can do.." He quietly mumbled out.
"I got it!" Muffin shouted, they all turned to face her. "I forgot Im a fairy! I can just poof something up!" She said excitedly. Everyone stared at her with either a confused or shocked look.
"..How... Do you FORGET that you're a fairy?!" Spike blurted out nervously. "You have fucking wings! How does one forget they have huge pink glittery wings?!"
Muffin just shrugged.
Maria smiled wide. "OK Muffin, give us something huge and heavy for Griff to use!" Muffin nodded and grabbed her wand which had a muffin on the tip. "Wand cook, beat and bake! Give us a big large and tasty cupcake!" She waved her wand and out appeared from a bunch of pink glittery smoke, a nearly two-story house tall chocolate cupcake.
"... Why a cupcake..?" Blink asked as she peeked behind her mask, in slight awe and wanting to secretly a bite out of it. "I can only make sweets!" Muffin said with a shy tone. "Im not a fighter like you guys, I only want to make people happy and eat candy!"
"That is certainly the biggest pastry I've ever seen! So large and beautiful, I bet tasty as well!" "Not to mention DIABETIC AS HELL!!! We could die from a heart attack eating that! Or worse, we could get fat! Even fatter! And become even uglier then we already are! This is too overwealming I need a nap!"
Rooko and Rooki suddenly spoke, almost taking everyone off guard on how their friend Rook is suddenly two split personalities now based on the Youtube character ENA, one is always happy while the other is always sad, and depending on the situation they can go Manic or Miserable.
"OK Griff, show us what you can do!" Maria shouted excitedly. Without missing a second, Griff bent over and gripped the edge of the massive cupcake, after struggling a bit he slowly but surely, lifted the entire thing over his head, smiling proudly.
His friends cheered and applauded proudly. Feeling satisfied, he dropped the cupcake and dusted the chocolate crumbs off his hands and fur. "Yokusei!" He shouted, and with a naruto-like smoke poof, he turned back to his human self. Maria ran and hugged him tightly, which Griff embraced and hugged back with a slight twirl.
"Griff you were amazing!!" Maria said with a proud tone, Griff slightly blushed pink at the small punk girl and her excitement. "Oh shucks, it was nothing.." He said with a shy tone.
"Well, and seems we concluded Griffin's training." Togekiss said as they took a sip of tea. "He jump twice as high as a two-story house, his punches and kicks can knock down brick walls and possibly more if we werent limited on objects to test it with, he can hear twice as much then a dog could with his ears, and his sense of smell is impecable. Truly Griff is a strong asset to our team."
"I can only train my powers at night.." Said Spooks, holding an umbrella to protect her from the sun, now that it injures her. "Muffin's power is only sweet making. Togekiss has exceptional I.Q and can see simulations in the future like Garnet in Steven Universe, along with their strong telekenisis, and Kip simply draws whatever she desires, whether alive or not and it becomes a reality... That means it's Rook's turn to show us what she can do" She finished.
"Wonderful! It's our time to shine!" "I-I-I not ready! Everyone's gonna laugh at us! I-I might piss myself in fear!" "Oh pull yourself together dear! Our friends wont laugh at us!" "How do we know that?! They're just waiting to correct us on a dumb mistake!!!"
Rook's body shook and twitched as her eyes turned to static, suddenly her entire eyes turned black with a blue iris, she turned Miserable.
"They're gonna laugh and point at our foolish selves, we're gonna be so embarrassed that we'll wish that the Earth will swallow us whole and just fucking kill us now!! Go ahead! Laugh at us and our misfortune!!!"
"ooh shit" Maria said. "can someone calm her down?"
Rook's eyes change to regular as her Miserable side went away. "No need my good Queen! We are completly fine! Now prepare to be dazzled as we show you all what we can do!" q
Rook pulled out a harry potter-like wooden wand, waved it around. "Bloom and Blossom and protect who I love! Rise my pretties, rise high and above!" Rooki shot an orange light at the grass, which made dozens of flowers bloom and grow around Spike and Blink.
"This is only one of my tricks! It's a shield that protects them from almost anything! My main weakness is fire, because while plants are beautiful, they are also sadly very, very flammable"
"Cool." Said Spike before using his bat to aggressivly hit the flowers and the vines aside so he and Blink could leave.
"M-M-My turn I guess!" Rook took hold of the wand and waved it in circles. "Razzle Dazzle Shine and Show, make their body move it low!" Rooko shot a blue light at Spooks, which made unwillingly and uncontrolably start dancing and as the spell said, make her go low.
"O-OH GOD SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP I DONT LIKE HOW MY BUTT IS MOVING THIS MUCH!!" She shouted in desperation as she made a split and moved it even lower.
"M-My deal is with music! I-It works as a way of distraction o-or hypnosis and it lasts for 30 minutes un-le-less I say otherwise! I-I know it's a sucky power!"
"OK COOL CAN I STOP DANCING PLEASE IM GETTING A CRAMP!!!" Yelled Spooks, practically begging. Rooko flicked her wand and Spooks fell on the ground, panting. "OH MY POOR HAMSTRINGS THEY ACHE!!" She yelled in utter pain, meanwhile Maria and Spike were absolutely losing it.
"O-OH GOD MY STOMACH HURTS-" Said Spike in between laughter.
"OK you guys cool it" Said Blink. "It's our turn to practice now. We're the only ones who use regular weapons." She said drawing her sword and positioning her mask back in place.
"O-OK! OK!" Maria said getting up, she pulled out a small staff and whipped it, making it stretch out wide into a full, large red and black scythe, with a rose print on the blade. Spike spun his bat and spat his gum out.
"So. Who's ass Im kicking first?" Said Spike. "Wait on second thought this might be unfair." Said Blink. "Me and Maria had blades while Spike has a bat, maybe we should-"
Before she could finish, Spike swung his bat and hit Blink sword, knocking it out of her hand before kicking her back at the ground. Blink fell back hard before she could even process what happen, dumbfounded but angry, she snarled. "Oh it's on now Motherfucker." She extended her hand and the sword flew back to her hand, as she charged towards Spike, who moved out of the way as soon as Blink swung her sword, which if he hadnt been for Maria's scythe, would have sliced her right up.
"Dude! Chill! This is a pratice!" Maria spoke as both of their blades were against eitch other. Blink hopped and flipped over her and landed on a tree branch, croutching like a ninja. She put her hands together and in a small puff of smoke and disappeared. Spike and Maria were back to back, ready to counterattack Blink, what they didnt expect was for her to attack from underground.
Buring up from the dirt, she got both of them off their feet and charged after Spike, who barely managed to regain his balance before his using bat his block Blink's sword. A back and forth of clash-clings-and-clangs between metal begun, one attacking the other but eitch blocking every attack again and again.
Spike ducked a sword slash and roundhouse kick Blink's leg, which was effective since she's practically a ninja. She backflipped back on her feet and kept attacking swiftly. But a sudden scythe blade cut in between them, stopping the fight.
"That's enough!!!" Maria shouted. "You both are gonna end up hurting yourselves or eitch other! im ending it now!!"
"Oh what the hell dude?!" Blink shouted indignified. "I was about to beat him!!" "Oh please." Answered Spike. "Was that the best you could do? Sakura could do a better job kicking my ass" He scoffed. They began to argue loudly, genuinely angry at eitch other.
"THAT"S ENOUGH!!!!" Maria shouted, making them, and everyone else look at her.
"It doesnt matter would win that fight! This was a practice and not a competition!! The point of us being a team and getting powers in the first place was for all of us to make the world a better place, but the only way that can happen is if all of us work together!! As a team!!!"
They stood in silence, listening to her talk and set them straight.
"As cheesy as that sounds, it's true!! We shouldnt fight eitch other like this, you're not just my friends, we're all friends with eitch other! We all go along well and we know that, that's why I got you all together, because no one can bond better in a team then all of us together!!!"
"... She's right." Togekiss added, walking towards them. "We all started as simple individuals with free time on a website, but we all shared common interests, we grew closer.. And suddenly like that, we all became friends.. A family, if you will."
"We take care of eitch other and look out for one another." Said Spooks.
"Just like how you all did for me.. When I almost died. Almost died because of the shit and violent world we live in." Maria said.. With a slight crack in her voice.
"You're bringing in the same violence that almost killed me.. So please.. Please stop fighting.. We're all in this together.. Right..?"
Spike and Blink dropped their weapons and hugged Maria, and everyone else joined in as well.
"You're right, we're sorry Queen." Said Spike. "We got overwhealmed and we didnt mean it. We wont fight again, because you're right." Added Blink.
"We only have eitch other in this world, and if we want to change it we have to stick together, just like you said." Spike said one more time.
"And we wont let you down.. We promise.." Griff finished, with everyone agreeing with what he said.
And so they stayed for a moment, embraced within eitch other in a group hug. A family isnt perfect, there will be disagreements, but a good bond will always overcome those disagreements, and that's what they had, a good bond.
A bond that's practically unbreakable and untaintable. A bond that will soon be ready, and fight together to make the world a better place.
A bond that will the world's Future Hope..
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Red and Blue - blue beetle x reader
The team are both surprised and suspicious when a young girl turns up with a scarf just like Jaime's and the Reach. But Jaime is just star struck, not to mention Scarab is pestering him over you.
"It’s a simple mission. Well split up into two groups. M'gann, Superboy, Bart, L'gann Boy and myself in one group, Nightwing, Blue Beetle, Wondergirl and Robin in the other."
Aqualad looked round at the members present in the meeting, some were busy either dealing with their own problems or helping their mentors whilst others had to deal with issues from their own lives. He was fine with the group assembled though, all experienced and practical fighters, well maybe except Impulse.
In return the group nodded, resdy to suit up for the mission and head out.
"This is so crash, an undercover covert mission, ninjas and a cool tropical island. Not gonna be feeling the mode today, woo !"
As the others dissembled to board the Bio-ship and rests themselves for the mission, Impulse dashed over to his best bud Blue Beetle chatting away at a hundred miles a minute. Unlike the others these covert missions were new to him, he’d only arrived about two weeks ago and found everything to be just as exciting and crash as people in the future told him, like Nathaniel or his parents. He couldn’t get over the fact he was here, especially with friends like Jaime.
"Sshshh Ese, my head hurts so a little quieter please."
Jaime grumbled at the now Moder speedster who looked a little sadder from finding out Jaime wasn’t as excited as him. Seeing this the Blue Beetle warrior decided to try and push past his raging headache from lack of sleep, too much coffee and finals coming up.
"It’s pretty cool I guess. Ninjas are crash."
Bart's smile instantly lifted into a big grin as he started his rambling once again about "covert missions are crash", "the past is so awesome" and "I really love chicken wizzies, do you have any ?". Pain radiated through his head, put he ignored it to both to stop his friend from getting disheartened and also to help him concentrate better on the mission at hand.
———————————
Santa Larisco Island 20:18 July
With one team covering the ground and another circling the perimeter of the island, the mission started off smoothly. The two sons of Batman were more skilled than the bets ninjas on the island and easily snuck past their defences, hacking the mia frame of the eco outer within the temple-like base. With the defences now down, Kaldur signalled his team to go in, the mind-link set up among them by M'gann.
"Okay Robin, Nightwing start downloading the information on The Light and it's partners. Everybody else it’s your mission to take in the wanted criminals here who have escaped Belle Rev. Icicle jnr, Shimmer and Bane are reported to be here on the island."
A series of "on it"s and "yes" rattled through their leader's mind as the others made their way across the island. Well except for one person. Jaime Reyes couldn’t explain 2hag it was but something was drawing him to turn away from Wondegirl and Eobin and to explore further into the jungle. It was stupid, probably his mind going a little nuts from sleep deprivation but those thoughts were swept away when Scarab spoke up.
"I sense it too, Jaime Reyes, there’s some energy source coming from that grove. You must get closer so I can scan for what it is."
In his usual commanding voice Scarab's words were th last push that sent Jaime off to explore what was letting off the strange energy. Distracted by the computer and coding, both Nightwing and Robin didn’t notice whilst Wondergirl began to fly off to aid Spuerboy against Icicle jnr.
Wing ready, he took off flying low just over the treetops scanning the ground with keen eyes until he noticed light red waves pulsing out from below the trees. Like a heart beat the pulses would expand and then contract, in this nearly crimson colour.
"The energy is from another scarab, Jaime Reyes. You must investaigte now. If it is another scary you just terminate them !"
Jaime rolled his eyes at his Scarab's usual persistence of "terminating", which he threw in way too much. Only the other day when Bart has invited him over to the Allen's house has the Scarab insisted they "terminate" Iris and Barry's twins for sticking gum in his hair.
"I’m not going to terminate them!"
Annoyed and now suffering from a full-blown migraine, Jaime snapped at his scrab but did begin to descend from the treetops.
As he neared the ground he saw that the source of the energy was a young girl, clothes half burnt off from where he could see as she was rolled into a small ball facing away from him. However he did manage to see a long red gash travelling down the exposed area of her back. Inwardly he cringed at how much blood was coursing out of it. Whoever this girl was she needed medical trade,not and stat.
"The Scarab user is injured Jaime. Finish her now whilst she’s out."
Jaime swore he could almost hear Scarab's inner evil chuckle.
"No. There will be no terminating. She’s hurt. Even if she’s a scarab user she’s clearly injured."
Cautiously, he approached you, kneeling down next to your form. Your (h/c) hair was covering your face, and it was clear that the front of you was much more exposed than the back of you. Clearly, you’d been shot at, around the chest area with something that could disintegrate rather than a piercing bullet.
"Chica, whoever you are, wake up. I promise I-"
Just as Jaime reached his hand out to brush your hair from you face, trying his best to be cautious and act harmless, you suddenly and swiftly sat up, grabbing the hand reaching four you and twisting his arm. Jaime let out a shriek of pain, Scarab telling him "I told you so", as his sonic canon activate on his free arm, raising it fire at you.
However to both his horror and surprise, he was met with another sonic blaster, but red in contrast to his blew. The pair of you remained there, kneeled and sat on the floor, arms raised to fire at each other whilst your other froze on his. Eyes wide, and mouth a small "O" shape, Jaime imagined your look of surprise mirrored his.
Sure he’d known beforehand that you had a Scarab, but it still took him by surprise to see another one like him.
You on the other hand were having a far worse time. Pain pulsed from your legs, arms, back. You name it, it hurt. Even your pinky toes radiated with pain. To make it worse here you were, on some random forest floor, unable to remember how you got here with a sonic blaster obnoxiously pushed up into your face. This day was shit.
"What happened to me?" Brain a jumbled mess you tried to remember what had happen3d as your eyes never left those of the boy in forms of you. Under other circumstances you might have found him cute.
"Upon escaping the Reach we suffered a blast too the chest from Black Beetle's Ion canon. We are lucky to be alive right now (y/n)."
"Ohhhh"
This time you let out an audible response which surprised Jaime a little as you seemed to break a way from your death stare at him.
Upon doing this his eyes travelled away from stare and then did he realise something. Something he probably should’ve noticed sooner. So,etching that Scarab would remind him of many times in e future to come.
You were naked around the front, exposing well your middle, and other parts north of their.
"Gahhh! I’m sorry..."
Like an arrow he shoot uo from where he was kneeling next to you and scurried further away, hands covering his eyes.
"Jaime Reyes to not cover your eyes when the enemy is about. You won’t be able to terminate them."
Jaime felt his face go red as he turned to face you a little, peeking from in between his fingers.
"Oh my god !"
Letting out a squeal, you instantly folded your arms over your chest, quickly turning away from the boy as you felt your face blossom into a colour so red it matched your beetle. Turns out you were half naked, high your Scarab decided not to tell you.
"You creep, coming near me like that when I’m like this ! I don’t care if you’re another beetle user, I’m going to kill you..., well when I get a shirt on I will!"
Frustrated, angered and afraid you screeched at the boy, the Blue beetle user, as he gave you a sheepish look before starting to talk into what you guessed was an earpiece of some kind.
"Blue Beetle, come in Kaldur.....yeah I’m on the south side....you guys fly the Bio-ship. I found something you’ll want to see."
By the way he spoke you guessed he was addressing others, maybe a team ? A cold gust of air sucked you out of your thoughts as your arms covering your chest tightened a little, a feeble attempt to generate a little bit of warmth. Stuck outside in the middle of the night with your clothes torn to pieces, you were definitely starting to feel the cold.
"Jaime Reyes the other scarab user is cold. The female will develop hypothermia. As you don’t want to terminate her, I suggest warming her up."
Jaime eyed your shivering body, to which you glared back in return as you didn’t take to his wondering gaze kindly. Sure the others were on the way but you looked freezing and it would be embarrassing to meet a whole group of people without something covering your upper half properly.
"Ay I guess you’re right."
Sighing, Jaime retracted his blue better form, the suit disappearing to reveal him in his civvies. Eyes wide you watched as the blue beetle revealed himself to be a quite attractive young man, around your age with jet black hair and dark warm eyes. Warm. Oh you wished you were warm, as another shiver rattled your injured and tired body.
"Take caution (y/n), the blue beetle is still a threat."
Your scarab's calm but bristled voice washed through your mind and you knew she had a point. However when Jaime started to unzip his hoodie, leaving him in a T-shirt and offering his source of warmth to you, you threw caution to the wind.
"Here, use this."
Still cautious, he approached you, making sure to look you directly in the eyes.....no wondering glances. In return yiu looked up at him, wary at first until a small smile formed on your face.
"Thank you....."
You trailed off, not knowing his name.
"Jaime Reyes."
He knew it was dumb to tell a stranger, potentially a threat his secret identity, but he found himself trusting you, just a little bit. Perhaps it was because you had something in common. The shared dilemma of having an alien creature stuck on your back.
"Well thank you Jaime Reyes."
You took the hoodie with a smile and quickly put it on, zipping it up and allowing warmth to flood you. Warmth from Jaime wearing it....
A small blush adorned your cheeks as you realised the strange boy, who for one had seen half of you naked had given you his hoodie that was coated in a nice boyish smell like mint and pine leaves and cinnamon.
"Your hormone levels are spiking (y/n), it appears you are attracted to the one who calls himself Jaime Reyes."
At your scarabs words, your blush darkened and you jerked upright like an arrow. Jaime raised an eyebrow at your reaction, seeing your blush and strange behaviour.
"Maybe the female scarab user has a fever."
Scarab's words made sense, and Jaime nodded to himself. That sounded about right, your red face and jerky actions definitely made it seem like you were sick. You certainly felt a little sick, still a little chilly even with Jaime's hoodie and your injuries were worsening the longer you went without attending to them.
The large cut across your back ached and you could almost feel the cool chill of the blood surrounding it, you probably looked very beaten and bloody. Blood loss, nausea and fatigue started to set in, your body had fought for so long and finally now you believed you were saved, or at least were going to be taken off that damn island.
"Your losing too much blood (Y/n), you need medical attention now, or you’ll pass out."
Scarab's warning words almost sounded sympathetic as they resonated through your head. Now that you thought about it you did feel sleepy, so so sleepy....
Eyes falling shut your body and mind finally gave up fighting, giving into the peaceful lull of slumber. Seeing your collapsing body, Jaime rushes forwards catching you before you hit the ground in his arms. The quite small breaths leaving your lips reassured him that you were dead but rather sleeping and he let out a sigh of relief.
"She’s not dead, thank god. Migraine, mid terms and a dead girl to top it all off, sounds like a crappy day."
Up close now he could see the damage done to you, blood spotting your shredded shirt as your wide gashes still dripped with blood.
"Jaime the female has fainted. Her blood levels are low and she appears malnourished. Medical attention is needed immediately."
Surprisingly, Scarab was choosing to help you and your own Scarab out, not willing to let another one of his species die or at least their host.
"I know, I know. The others are almost here. She’ll be fine.....your safe now (y/n)."
Still sleeping, a tiny smile formed on your lips, almost as if you could hear Jaime's comforting words.
———————————-
Might make a part two, let me know if you want one and what I should write next !
.
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a love poem for buried things
For six months, seven
I’ve been watching you dig at the edge of the forest
certain you’ll find what was left there
(we should have taken a switchblade to that tree, carved our initials.
We should have marked it with chalk
or with ashes.)
Even as the skin on your palms peels back
in a pink-gummed snarl, a threat
even as your spade strikes root then clay then bedrock
you keep digging.
At night I’ll pull each splinter from your hand like Saint Jerome
wind them in bandages torn from our sheets.
At night I’ll recreate the map we lost
across your blue-veined wrists, remind you
here and here and here
(a kiss a kiss a kiss).
Six months, seven
I have been waking alone
to find you missing from my bed
like a gasp.
Hear the chipping of your shovel through the window
like a woodpecker’s love song
lyric-less.
Sometimes you bring me what you find
(the mandible of a deer mouse, smooth as a beckoning finger
a single crown glass lens
a beetle the colour of bruised fruit, still wriggling.)
You keep digging.
Here is a story: this year I thought my hands ran out of words.
One morning I woke up
and there was no more milk left in my mouth.
But today
today is the kind of summer day
that lives beneath my ribs like a rabbit
startling agate-eyed at every silkworm swinging.
The world reeks of rain
rose water and the lingering mould of spring
and until I get my words back
maybe you could tell me stories.
Tell me you will find the things you’re digging for.
Your spade will strike a padlock
and you’ll smile with sweat glittering at your temples
like the Hyades
or
or
tell me the frost didn’t reach deep enough to touch us
that we survived this winter
not dead but dormant
and I’ll tell you that the symbol for perennials is also
the symbol for Jupiter
(the third brightest object in the night sky
yet it is not the distant, shining thing that keeps me from sleeping.)
Tell me we are polycarpic
iteroparous (I’ll be yarrow, you be switchgrass.)
You won’t need to dig for us, we’ll blossom
and when you hold me in your palm
even after six months, seven
darling
all my petals will be red.
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| KITTENS, SQUIRRELS AND MY HOT NEIGHBOUR | A Rorin One-shot | Fairy Tail Next Generation |
Ship: Rosemary Fernandez x Rin Fullbuster
Rosemary was mortified to say she had seen it all.
And by that, she meant ALL.
She thought moving to Magnolia away from her strict family would benefit her, expand her views on the world.
Expand her views, oh dear Lord.
Moving day was uneventful at the beginning. She finished arranging most of the furniture by noon on her own, adamant to hire help. Now all that remained was additional decor, the dishes and fitting her clothes in the closet. The pretty red-head decided to eat out for lunch and had only stepped out her porch when she gazed upon the finest specimen mankind had to offer.
His windswept blue hair made her swoon internally as he appeared to have returned from a jog. And those pectorals.... her eyes glazed over as she checked him out.
He just pursed his lips, gahhhh!
Gosh, run your hand over your hair one more time and I might jump you.
Her internal tirade was interrupted by her stomach. It growled. And by growled she meant growled like a whale in heat. And by that she meant hot guy just heard her stomach growling. And by that-
Okay, we get the point.
She straightened her posture and tried to look intimidating as she took long strides toward him and stood on her tiptoes (so much for intimidating). She reached out a hand toward him in lieu of a greeting.
And he grimaced at her as if she was the piece gum stuck on the sole of his shoe.
Wow, great first impression dude! I almost want to be your neighbour. Not.
"And staring at your neighbour like a creepy stalker is? A great first impression, that is, since you seem to know all about those." He pointed.
She'd said it out loud then. She kicked herself and winced, making the hot jerk wary of her sanity.
Like he had reason to be! Ridiculous! She was only talking to herself! It wasn't as if- WHAT IN THE
"WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?!!!!" She yelled, horrorstruck.
His eyes widened as he looked at his- well, lack of covering- and cursed under his breath.
"DON'T LOOK!"
But it was too late.
Too late.
The whole day she spent bemoaning the loss of her innocence. (Who was she kidding, she secretly enjoyed it. Just because she was a Bio major. Nothing more. And now she stopped making sense. Again. Ughhh.)
Needless to say, their blossoming friendship (or relationship??) had been nipped at the bud. He now avoided her like the plague (it wasn't like she'd flashed him!!) but she swore sometimes she'd catch him staring at her.
But the truth remained that she'd mucked up her chance at making new friends at the first try.
Hey, at least she had Ricardo, the extremely stupid squirrel living on the acacia tree in her backyard.
Well, on second thought, she thought as she saw him try to woo the woodpecker on her tree for the 978th time this month (take a hint, Ricardo!) maybe he wasn't the best choice of companionship.
I'm gonna end up a cat lady, aren't I? Her shoulders drooped as she stared at the tree vacantly. Maybe moving out wasn't one of her best ideas...
...................
Maybe it was the internal Erza in her berating her for wallowing in her self pity, or that she'd realised she and Ricardo had more in common than she thought. Either way, the next day she'd adopted a bunch of kittens.
Yes, you heard it right.
And she wondered why she hadn't done this sooner.
Mayonnaise, Guacamole and Nacho. The little balls of fur were adorkable, as was expected of cuddly little munchkins, and fawning over them did wonders to her self esteem.
The kicker however, happened a week after.
She groaned loudly as she struggled to get out of bed and stumble to the door, her fluffy slippers in hand. She put them on as she wobbled down the stairs and rubbed her eyes of any pending sleep. Who was the fucktard that dared disturb her sleep at bloody 8 in the morning on A WEEKEND?! She grabbed her baseball bat as she opened the door.
"WHAT?" She growled at- wait that's a chest... She glanced up and met the eyes of her very amused neighbour.
Now that she thought about it, she must've looked like quite the escaped convict with her neon orange pajamas-don't ask, a gift from her annoying friend Nashi- and bedhead. He must've finally noticed the fluffy bunny slippers because he suddenly doubled over, banging the doorframe with one hand as he let out one of the most adorable laughs she'd ever heard (he sounded like a dying llama actually, but sureee, whatever you say brain)
When he'd finally stopped laughing, (which was an embarrassingly long time later) he leaned against the doorframe-Oh good God -and shot her a gorgeous megawatt grin that had her squinting in suspicion.
"I heard you adopted kittens."
She blinked at him, "And you come here at frigging 8 on a weekend to state the obvious?"
"Well, not exactly," he chirped, the subtle quirk of his lips proving he knew how much he was irking her,"I want to meet 'em. Please?"
5 minutes later, Rosemary found herself making breakfast as her hot neighbour cooed (I kid you not, cooed) at her kittens as she also simultaneously managed to convince herself she allowed it only because he asked nicely. No doubt about that.
"What are their names?" He asked as he scratched Nacho behind his ear.
"Mayonnaise, Guacamole and Nacho."
"I'm sorry, what?" He spluttered, making Rosemary shuffle her feet partly out of embarrassment and partly out of defensiveness.
"What's wrong with those names?" She threatened with her red hot spatula pointed at his neck. He raised his hands and gulped.
"No complaints, ma'am!"
She turned to flip the pancakes. "That's better."
"Hey, I'm-uh Rin. Rin Fullbuster," he said as if he'd just remembered to introduce himself.
She smiled to herself as she flipped another pancake. "Rosemary Fernández."
"Hey, I LOVE ROSEMARY!" He cheered obliviously.
Rosemary choked as she whipped her head toward him so hard it cracked. She accidentally touched the hot pan and let out a yelp of pain. His eyes widened as he realised the implications of his statement.
"I meant the-Gah- the plant, I mean-Ah fuck, your hand!"
13 minutes and one burnt pancake later, Rosemary had learnt quite a bit about Rin.
For instance, he nonchalantly mentioned that he was studying medicine as he treated her hand without batting an eye. He also said that he lived with his twin sister Sylvia and had an elder brother.
His eyes flickered as he blurted, "Can I treat you to dinner? How does um-tonight sound? Yeah tonight," he looked her in the eyes with so much enthusiasm she might've melted if her palm hadn't been so severely burnt.
Her eyes crinkled as she nodded in agreement, "Sure, I'd love that!"
Bonus:
"So you're telling me that Ricardo should've be getting his hopes up over the woodpecker even when she lets him stay in her hole and even eats from the same tree as him?" Rin raised an eyebrow at the red-head who scrunched her forehead.
"That doesn't have to mean anything. Maybe she just wants to be friends!" She gestured unbelievingly.
"What? That doesn't make sense! Of course there's something else! You don't just share your food with friends! That's the equivalent of going out in the animal world!" Rin blinked at her as if she was the one sputtering nonsense.
"No it isn't! You can go out for dinner platonically too!"
He frowned. "I can prove it!"
Rosemary tilted her head to look at him, "How?"
"We've been going out to dinner for 2 months now. Does this mean that we're just friends?"
"Um yeah! We are? How is this proving the point?"
Rin stared at her like she'd grown two heads and yelped, "WAIT YOU'RE SERIOUS?!"
Rosemary flushed, "Well, yes. I didn't know you were interested in uh-You like me? That way?"
Rin looked like he'd been living a lie as he squeaked, "UH- YES! I DO! LIKE YOU! And here literally everyone was calling me whipped and telling me how obvious I was being, but haha!"
He suddenly whipped his head in her direction like a man possessed. " YOU LIKE ME TOO, RIGHT? SHIT, DO YOU? I MEAN I DON'T WANT TO FORCE YOU OR-"
"I DO! I DO! I mean I've never really thought you liked me Ughhh you know what? Fuck this."
She tugged on his shirt as her lips met his and all was forgotten.
Though, Rin never hesitated to tease her and her obliviousness at every given opportunity. She didn't mind.
She had her blue-haired squirrel of a neighbour in the end anyway.
............
#rorin#rin fullbuster#rosemary fernandez#jerza#gruvia#fairy tail#next generation#modern au#ricardo the playboy squirrel#mayonnaise#nacho#guacamole#rin x rosemary
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Platinum Cherry Blossom - Kujo Jotaro (2/2)
MULAN x STARDUST CRUSADERS & VENTO AUREO (just a tiny bit)
Cast:
Fa Mulan - Reader
Li Shang - Kujo Jotaro
Fa Li (Mulan’s mother) - Bruno Buccellati (You had it coming...)
Fa Zhou (Mulan’s father) - Leone Abbacchio (Godamn it, me...)
Little Brother (Mulan’s dog) - Ghirga Narancia (Wtf am I doing?)
Grandmother Fa - Guido Mista (By this point, you can go ahead and throw me out of the window)
The Matchmaker - Trish Una (Sorry, girl, I never liked you)
Chi Fu (Annoying Advisor) - Enyaba
The Emperor - Joseph Joestar
General Li - Sadao (Jotaro’s dad that’s not busy playing the sax anymore)
Shan Yu - Dio Brando
Yao - Jean - Pierre Polnareff
Ling - Kakyoin Noriaki
Chien-Po - Avdol Muhammad
Mushu - Iggy
Cricket - Sex Pistols (Mainly #5)
This is so much fun omfg, hope you’re enjoying the ride as much as I am!!!
CLICK HERE FOR:
PART 1
---
After such an exhausting day, she just wanted to take a well deserved bath to scrub off the dirt and sweat, while Iggy kept looking left and right, worrying that someone might see her.
She obviously didn’t want to stink like some corn chip man, so she jumped into the water, letting the cool feeling sooth her sore muscles, telling Iggy to stand watch if he’s so worried, as he wouldn’t stop pestering her.
“Yeah, yeah. Stand watch, Iggy, while I blow our secret with my stupid girly habits! Pffft! Hygiene!” Iggy farted next to #5 shamelessly.
However, just as he said that, some cheers could be heard from the distance, and a pair of heart patterned briefs were thrown at Iggy’s head, only to notice the 3 idiots throwing themselves in the water.
As Avdol jumped, he made a canon-ball, making it look like a tsunami took place in the lake, as the girl looked at them horrified, using a lily pad to hide her face while silently swimming behind a rock.
“Oh, hey, it’s Fugo!” Polanreff pointed out, making the girl grin awkwardly, taking the lily pad away from her face.
“Oh, uh, hi, guys! I didn’t know you were here!” she tried to do a masculine voice. “I was just washing. So now I’m clean, and I’m gonna go. Bye-bye!” she chirped, trying to hide even more behind the rock.
“Aww, come on, don’t leave! I know we were jerks to you before, so let’s start over. Hi, I’m Kakyoin.” he shook the girl’s hand, dragging her forwards.
“And I’m Avdol.” she heard the other man say as she unconsciously hit her hand on his chest as she tried to take it away from Kakyoin’s grasp.
“Hello, Avdol.” she said softly, before covering her face, realising that Polnareff was butt naked on top of a rock.
“And I am Polnareff, King of the Rock! And there’s nothin’ you girls cand do about it!” he put his fists on his hips, rocking proudly.
“Oh, yeah? Well, I think Fugo and I can take you.” Kakyoin did some silly karate moves.
“I really don’t wanna take him anywhere.” she declared, swimming away to the shore while covering her chest.
“But Fugo! He challenged us, we have to fight!” Kakyoing gaped at her.
“No, we don’t really have to. We could just...Close our eyes and swim around.” she tried to swim closer to the shore, only to have Kakyoin follow.
“Awww, come on, don’t be such a gir-...OUCH! Something bit me!” he shrieked as Iggy bit his butt.
“Eww, what a nasty flavour...” Iggy spit in disgust.
“AHH! WATER MONSTER!!” he gasped, swimming the hell away from there.
She then took advantage of the commotion to whistle for her horse to come and help cover her up as she left to the shore.
“Boy, that was close...” she sighed, putting her towel closer to her.
“No, that was vile!” Iggy brushed his teeth with a lot of mint tooth paste, only to start chewing on coffee gums. “You owe me big!”
“I NEVER want to see a naked man again.” she declared as she started squeezing her hair of water, her horse rolling his eyes, agreeing with her.
Only as if on cue, however, the rest of the soldiers started running and cheering naked past her, making her stare in shock and horror at the display, while her horse and Mushu were already dead inside.
“’Ey, don’t look at me, I ain’t bitin’ no more butts.” Iggy groaned, getting away from there.
As they walked back to her tent, they noticed Jotaro and Enyaba arguing, the hag throwing crude, poisonous words at the young captain, completely undeserving, and as soon as he left his tent, trying to cool off his head before Ora Ora-ing the advisor with Star Platinum, she tried to smile at him.
“Heey, I’ll hold her and you punch!...Or not.” she tried to cheer him up, but he only gave her a glance before walking away. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re a great Captain!” she spoke louder, hoping it would help in any way.
For a split second, he stopped and spared her one more glance, before going on his way, making the girl smile softly.
“Heey, I saw that!” Iggy looked at her with a knowing glint in his eyes.
“Huh? Saw what?” she blinked, looking at him with confusion.
“You like him, don’t you?” he asked, with a weird smirk.
“No, I -” she tried to deny everything, but she was quickly cut off anyway.
“Go to your tent!” Iggy scolded, but she could only smile back at where Captain Kujo stood before going to sleep.
Without her knowledge, Iggy and #5 made the masterplan of writing a scroll from the General, informing Enyaba that he needs Jotaro’s troops, and then went to make a dummy out of spare armor and cloth, found a random panda bear and went to deliver the scroll to Enyaba, who was out, taking a bath.
Of course, Iggy had to sass the annoying hag, speaking to her aggressively, while the panda went up into the tree, seemingly “vanishing” altogether.
And so, Enyaba rushed to Jotaro, telling him that they are needed in the front, and the next day they packed everything and made their way to the fight.
“For a long time we've been
Marching off to battle” everyone started singing, trying to get their mind off the long road.
“In our thundering herd
We feel a lot like cattle” Polnareff sighed, hearing the cows moo in the distance.
“Like the pounding beat
Our aching feet aren't
Easy to ignore” the rest continued their chant.
“Hey, think of instead
A girl worth fighting for” Kakyoin smiled, putting his arm around his 2 friends
”Huh?” Y/N looked at them weirdly.
“That's what I said
A girl worth fighting for
I want her paler than the
Moon with eyes that
Shine like stars” Kakyoin sang, showing a scroll of a beautiful lady, imagining kissing her.
“My girl will marvel at
My strength, adore my
Battle scars” Polnareff flexed, imagining as he would boast to his beloved.
“I couldn't care less what she'll
Wear or what she looks like
It all depends on what
She cooks like
Beef, pork, chicken, mmm” Avdol wondered, smiling softly.
“Bet the local girls thought
You were quite the charmer” Polnareff smirked at Y/N as they passed the river.
“And I'll bet the ladies love
A man in armor” Kakyoin flex, his clothes filled with so much water, making him buff like Jotaro, only for him to deflate quickly.
“You can guess what we
Have missed the most
Since we went off to war” everyone sang happily, watching the women work in the rice fields.
“What do we want?” Kakyoin asked, hyping everyone up.
“A girl worth fighting for” they all chanted, as Y/N realised some girl were batting their eyes at her, making her blush and walk away.
“My girl will think I have no faults” Polnareff flexed once again.
“That I'm a major find” Avdol grinned as they all got closer to Y/N, waiting for her verse.
“How 'bout a girl who's got a brain
Who always speaks her mind?” she tried, but they quickly stuck their tongues out.
“Neaaaaaah!” they laughed, continuing their own verses.
“My manly ways and turn of
Phrase are sure to thrill her” Kakyoin fixed his hair with a charming smile.
“He thinks he's such a lady killer” Polnareff nudged the girl as he slapped the horse, making the poor red head fall face first into the mud.
“I've a man back home who's
Unlike any other
And that’s my son!” Enyaba boasted, thinking about her son.
“Yet the only boy who'd
Love her is her son.” Polnareff mocked the hag, earning lots of chuckles.
“But when we come home
In victory they'll line up
At the door” they all chanted as the 3 started making very beautiful snow-women.
“What do we want?” Kakyoin asked once again, as everyone was grinning and cheering.
“A girl worth fighting for” they all sang simoultaneously
“Wish that I had” Kakyoin enticed everyone for the last time.
“A girl worth fighting for
A girl worth fighting” everyone was cheerful, until they stopped in their tracks, realising that the whole village was burnt to the ground and everyone, including women and children, were dead.
Everyone was dead silent as they tried to search for survivors, but the only thing they found was a little puppet that belonged to a little girl, and General Kujo’s helmet, which only made them realise the massacre that took place, slaying his father.
Everyone gave Captain Kujo his space to mourn in silence, watching him use his father’s sword as a grave, putting his helmet on.
“I’m sorry...” the girl made her way to the Captain, resting her hand on his shoulder, offering her condoleances.
Composing himself, he gave her an appreciative nod before going to his horse, mounting and informing everyone that the Huns were moving quickly and that they were the Emperor’s only hope, so they had to go through the pass.
Before she left, she put the little doll to the General’s grave, offering a small prayer, then rushing to catch up with everyone, despite the exhausting snow.
On their way, as Y/N was guiding her horse along the way, a firework was sent through the carriage, and upon further inspection, Iggy had to blame #5 for his own mistake.
“What happened?!” Jotaro galloped to her, staring with a mix of emotions.
“Uhmmm...” she was trying to explain how a dog lit a firework, but she had no time to answer.
“You just gave away our position!” he yelled at her, and as if on cue, he got shot by an arrow that he was too slow to realise to stop with his Stand, and he fell off. “GET OUT OF RANGE!” he ordered everyone.
As they all tried to run away to cover, more and more fire-lit arrows were sent their way, one of them hitting the carriage, which made the poor horse jump around in fright, and it took 7 people to save the cannons and get the horse away from it, as Y/N jumped on it, riding away, only for the carriage to explode, making the horse and the girl fall over.
“Oh, sure, save the horse, not me. Thanks.” Iggy glared at her as he fell down.
She started running to where everyone else was, helping them fire the firework cannons until there were none left, as Polnareff shot it before Jotaro could stop him.
As the smoke cleared, an infinite army of huns were battle-roaring, and all Jotaro could tell his soldiers was to prepare to fight.
Yeah, as if that was going to lead in anything but defeat.
They watched in horror as the army started descending back at them, and as Jotaro was getting everyone ready to fight, Y/N noticed a snowy mountain peak she could use.
Without telling anyone, she started running closer to the middle of the battlefield to aim better, taking out her Stand and shooting a massive fireball at the peak, not caring about how much everyone was shouting.
Thankfully, she managed to hit it just as the blond enemy reached her, but unfortunately, he was quick enough to slice her torso.
Jotaro was there too, but it was too late for any battle, as she grabbed his wrist and ran away from there, not wanting to get stuck in the avalanche, but even that, even with them riding on Y/N’s horse, it was no use, the snow was simply much faster than humanely possible.
She could hear Iggy yelling out her name as he snowboarded down the mountain on a shield, but as soon as she noticed a semi-conscious Jotaro was being taken away from her, almost falling down the cliff, she used her Stand to grab him by his armor, pulling him on the horse with her, and also, Iggy and #5 jumped on.
With the failed rope-arrow that was shot by Polnareff, she shot it back at them, thankfully him catching it, as she used her Stand to keep her horse and everyone safely.
She could only watch in happiness as Polnareff and Avdol used their own Stands to get them back on the surface, as Kakyoin’s Stand’s tentacles secured them even better, helping to pull them up.
“I knew we could do it! You the man! Well...Sort of.” Iggy cheered in victory, praising the girl.
As they were pulled to safety, they left Jotaro and the girl some air by backing away.
“Yare Yare Daze...Fugo, you are the craziest man I’ve ever met.” Jotaro got into a sitting position, looking sternly at the panting girl. “And for that, I owe you my life. From now on, you have my respect. It’s not often I see someone with a Stand, especially as powerful as yours, or that can be used to do such witty tricks.” Jotaro put his arm on Y/N’s shoulder, praising her gently.
“Let’s hear it for Fugo! The bravest of us all!” Kakyoin cheered loudly.
“You’re the King of the mountain!” Polnareff put his arms up in the air as everyone chanted and Jotaro helped her to her feet.
“Fugo! What’s wrong?!” his eyes widened as the girl cried in pain, putting her hands over her stomach, falling back to the ground. “He’s wounded! Get help!” he ordered, seeing blood seeping through her clothes
He tried to call out her name more, but she fainted on the spot, not able to keep more of her strength.
They quickly put on the medical tent and had her inside, the doctor working on her, and just as she briefly regained consciousness, the physician went outside, whispering something to the captain, while the trio was waiting, almost as burnt, to see if their friend was okay or not.
Shocked at the news, Captain Kujo stormed inside the tent, seeing as she slowly and weakly fluttered her eyes open.
She looked at him with a soft smile as she mustered enough strength to raise, only for the blanket to fall off and reveal her bandaged chest.
Poor Y/N realised she was screwed in that instant.
“I can explain!” she tried to reason, but just then, Enyaba also burst into the tent.
“So it’s true!” she screeched like a banshee.
“Jotaro, wait, please-” she tried to call out and explain, only for the hag to drag her out of the tent.
“I knew there was something wrong with you! A woman!” she took off Y/N’s hair from the bun, making everyone gasp as the hag threw her on the snow. “Treacherous snake!” she kept spewing venom at the girl.
“My name is Y/N! I did it to save my father. I never had any ill-intentions, I promise!” she pleaded to Jotaro, but the hag kept shrieking.
“HIGH TREASON!!!” she echoed through the mountain.
“I didn’t mean for it to go this far! I just didn’t want my injured father to have to die!” she begged for understanding.
“ULTIMATE DISHONOUR!” she continued screaming around, annoying the brunet man.
“It was the only way, please believe me! I couldn’t send my little brother, he’s barely 5 years old! And my father can’t even walk without a cane!” she almost started crying on the ground.
Jotaro looked at the girl on the ground, looking at him with pleading eyes as she kept the blanket around her, and he made a decision.
He strutted to her horse, taking her sword and walked to her, while someone had to restrain her panicked horse and Enyaba had to scold her 3 friends that were freaking out and trying to plead for her life.
Seeing the look in his gorgeous aquamarine eyes, she realised the had no life ahead of her, so she hung her head down, awaiting decapitation...
Only to see her sword in front of her.
“Yare Yare...You put me in a horrible situation. A life for a life. My debt is repaid.” was the only thing Jotaro could say as he turned his back to her, unable to look at her pitiful form, commanding his troops to walk away, leaving her there, alone and wounded.
“But captain-” Enyaba gaped at his decision, only for the man to take her by the neck of her robes, glaring at her harshly.
“I said. Move. Out.” he growled, throwing her away harshly.
All the girl could do as she watched everyone turn her back to her, was to get dressed and spend the harsh night with her companions, as she was wallowing in self pity, hatred, disappointment and a gazillion of other emotions.
“I should have never left home...” she sighed, looking with dead eyes in front of her.
“Hey, come on, don’t say that. You went to save your father’s life. Who knew you’d end up shamin’ him and disgracing your ancestors and losin’ all your friends? You know, you just gotta...You gotta learn to let these things go.” Iggy tried to explain, while also close to tears.
“Fuck the ancestors and all that honour shit...Also...Maybe...Maybe I didn’t even go for my father. Maybe that was just an excuse. Maybe all I really wanted was to prove that I could do things right...So when I looked in the mirror, I’d see someone worthwhile....But I was wrong. I see nothing.” the girl shed a tear, throwing away her helmet and huddling closer to her blanket.
Poor Iggy tried to make her feel better by joking around, saying the helmet wasn’t clean and that’s why she didn’t see what she desired, but she couldn’t even look at him, because of the shame.
“Okay, maybe we’re both frauds. The ancestors didn’t send me, they don’t even like me.” Iggy sighed, looking annoyed at her.
“That makes both of us.” she managed to whisper.
“I mean, you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions.” Iggy tried to console her, earning a little smile. “Huh?! What do you mean you’re not lucky?! You LIED to me?!” Iggy gaped at #5 who was crying on the helmet. “And what are you, a sheep?!” he yelled at the horse in frustration.
“I’ll have to face my father sooner or later...Let’s just go home.” she sighed, looking down.
“Yeah...This ain’t gonna be pretty.” he agreed with a self-deprecating groan. “But don’t you worry, okay? Things will work out. We started this thing together, and that’s how we’ll finish it. I promise.” he hugged the girl with a wholesome grin.
“Thank you, Iggy. I needed that.” she smiled, kissing the top of his head.
As Y/N was readying her horse to go home, she heard a loud roar, and upon further inspection, she saw the Hun leader, Dio Brando, was still alive, along with some of his trusted men, making their way to the Palace.
She quickly jumped on the horse, ready to alert everyone, before Iggy stopped her by clearing his throat.
“Home is THAT way.” he pointed with his paw in the opposite direction.
“I have to do something!” she reasoned sternly.
“Did you see those Huns?! They popped out of the snow! Like daisies!” Iggy yelled at her to get her shit together.
“Are we in this together or not?” she asked for the last time.
“Well, let’s go kick some Hunny buns!” he smirked, along with #5, as they both jumped on her horse and made their way to the palace.
At the Palace, there was a huge festival, to celebrate the Heroes of China who managed to defeat the Huns, Captain Jotaro being in front of everyone.
However, the girl galloping there earned quite a few gasps from her peers.
“Jotaro!” she called out, riding besides him.
“Y/N?” his eyes widened at the sight of her.
“The Huns are alive! They’re in the city!” she warned him quickly.
“You don’t belong here, Y/N. Go home.” he grunted, riding further ahead.
“It doesn’t matter, I’m here to warn you! I saw them in the mountains, you have to believe me!” she, once again, tried to reason with him.
“Why should I?” he glared at her, speaking in a low tone.
“Why else would I come back?!” she asked, frowning at him as she blocked his horse with her own. “You said you’d respect and trust Fugo, so why is Y/N any different? You think she’d lie about something as grave as the Huns?!” but the man looked away from her, galloping further. “Keep your eyes open. I know they are here.” she warned her friends as she rode away from there, thinking up a plan to alert someone who would believe her.
In the middle of the plaza, where the Emperor’s stairs were, everyone was gathered, watching the fireworks and cheering.
She saw Jotaro and the others making their way in front of Emperor Joestar and as she tried to warn random citizens, she realised that, once again, her words had no meaning, as she was a mere woman.
Emperor Joseph waited until the drums fell silent, so he could speak for everyone present.
“My children, Heaven smiles down upon the Middle Kingdom! China will sleep safely tonight thanks to our brave warriors.” he spoke as everyone started cheering loudly.
“Your Majesty, I present to you the sword of Dio Brando.” Jotaro bowed in front of the elderly man, showing him the sword of his enemy.
“I know what this means to you, Captain Kujo. Your father would have been very proud.” however, just as he was going to get the sword, the nasty hawk, Pet Shop, snatched it away with a loud screech, making everyone gasp in shock.
Up, on the room, disguised as one of the dragons, the sword was given to Dio Brando.
As if on cue, the huge red dragon was torn apart, many more huns getting out of there, fighting the soldiers, while 2 of them stole the Emperor away, and many others guarded the inside of the palace.
Only Dio’s taunting laugh could be heard everywhere.
Jotaro and his soldiers tried to use a stone statue as a ram and open the doors, but it was to no avail.
As soon as she realised they were wasting time, she ran up to them, whistled for their attention, telling them that she has a much better idea and to follow her.
Of course, her 3 friends shrugged at each other, and with large smiles, they rushed after her, letting only Jotaro the Fool bother with the impossible stone statue.
She took away their armors and gave them women clothing, hairstyles and make ups, and so, they all used their sashes as whips, looking at each other confidently, mischievous glints in their eyes, ready to take action...
And hopefully keep the fruits replacing their boobs on their chest, unlike Kakyoin’s moving apple.
They used their sashes to climb up the pillar, just like they did before with the weights, grinning at each other, only for her to feel a tap on her shoulder as she was tying of her sash on the pillar -
It was Jotaro, looking at her with a confident smile, using his cape to replicate what she was doing, obviously proud with her witty plan.
The 4 of them looked with glee at their captain as they started climbing up the pillar with ease, ready to take down the huns and save the Emperor.
As they reached the top, they could see 2 huns looking alike guarding the balcony where the Emperor was held captive.
“Okay, here we are. Any questions?” she asked them in a quiet voice.
“Does this dress make me look fat?” Polnareff asked, fixing his dress.
“Yes.” Kakyoin chuckled, only to earn a slap.
And so, Y/N and the 3 ‘women’ started walking towards the huns, giggling and looking at each other.
“WHO’S THERE?!” one of the brothers asked loudly.
“Concubines.” the other one replied with a disgusted look.
“Ugly concubines.” he rolled his eyes, lowering his weapon.
“Awww, he’s so cute!” the girls giggled behind the fan as they got in front of the brothers, and while they managed to charm one of them, Kakyoin’s half-eaten apple- boob fell from his robes, and for some reason, Pet Shop noticed Jotaro hiding and facepalming at the scene as well.
Thankfully enough, the stupid Hawk could do no further damage as Iggy started biting and munching on it, making it looked like a featherless chicken as it tried to fleed the scene in embarrassment.
The charmed older brother bent down to pick her apple, only for everyone to take out their boob-fruits.
Avdol his his watermelons on their heads, making them hit each other, Kakyoin shoved the un-bitten apple in Sett’s mouth, hitting his legs, making him fall to his knees as he hit him with a well aimed head hit, while Polnareff was getting rid off Vanilla Ice and Y/N was fighting Anubis, using the bow to strangle him, yelling out for Jotaro to go ahead and rescue the Emperor, as he was the only one powerful enough to do so, nobody knowing Dio’s Stand powers.
---
Up there, Dio looked at the elder Emperor, hanging upside down, saying a mocking “Boo!” as he jumped down on the railing, looking down at him with a mocking grin as he ordered the 2 D’Arby brothers to guard the doors.
“Your walls and armies have fallen and now it’s your turn. Bow to me, Joseph Joestar!” Dio ordered loudly.
“Sorry, Dio, but I have some sad news for you. Your next line will be : I tire of your arrogance, you old jeezer! I said BOW TO ME!...Am I correct?” Joseph smirked, feeling proud for using his younger self’s gimmiks.
“I tire of your arrogance, you old jeezer! I said BOW TO ME!....Huh?! What the-” Dio sneered in rage, realising that he fell into the old man’s trap and so, he put his sword to the Emperor’s chin, only for him not to flinch.
“No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it. Or so my grandfather Jonathan, the previous Emperor, said.” he shrugged, feeling confident.
“Then you will kneel in pieces!” he was ready to to stab the man, only to have Jotaro use Star Platinum to throw open the doors and punch the enemy away from the Emperor.
Taking out The World, Dio punched Jotaro out of the balcony, but he was quick to grab the pillar and rotated well enough to jump and punch him with his own fists, straddling him.
In retaliation, Dio punched him back, getting on top, and so, they wrestled for dominance back and forth.
While Jotaro was trying to defeat the enemy, Y/N told Avdol to rescue the Emperor and get him to safety, while she tried to think of a way to aid her Captain.
She showed her friends the rope with paper lanterns, and apologising, Avdol used his Stand to pick up the Emperor and slid down the rope using his sash, while Dio roared in anger, giving Kakyoin and Polnareff enough time to slide down the rope as well.
“THE WORLD!” Dio yelled, and the next thing anyone knew was that Jotaro was on the ground, bleeding, and nobody had any idea how that happened.
“Y/N, come on, hurry!” Polnareff kept yelling at her, but she couldn’t let the man she grew so fond of die by the hands of the enemy.
As she saw Dio approaching, she quickly picked up Dio’s discarded sword and cut the rope, giving Dio no chance to get closer to the Emperor.
Everyone was cheering for that success, while Dio could only stare in shock and horror at the infinite crowd, not able to spot the Emperor no matter how hard he tried.
“You! You took away my victory!” Dio roared as he used the hilt of his sword to punch Jotaro again, picking him up by the front of his armor, ready to stab him in the heart.
“NO!” Y/N yelled to take away his attention, as she took out her Stand, burning his cape. “I did!” she declared, looking at him sternly as she pulled her hair up to show that her and Fugo were the same person.
“The soldier from the mountains. Oh, so it looks like you’re finally approaching me!” Dio gasped in complete disdain seeing the person in front of him, and so, he threw Jotaro away and started chasing after her, as she left the balcony, locking the door.
Of course, it was to no avail, as his Stand was powerful enough to punch through the door, and so, she had to run even more while thinking of some new scheme.
“So, what’s the plan?!” Iggy managed to catch up to her, and as soon as he realised she had no idea what she was doing, he gasped in horror. “YOU HAVE NO PLAN?!”
“Hey, I’m making this up as I...Go! Iggy!” she grinned at her companion as he used his Stand to fly himself and #5 to the other tower in front of him.
Just as he got away, Dio jumped next to her, punching away pillars, even the one that she managed to climb on, which in turn, broke through the wall, and she almost fell, were it not for her Stand helping her back up on the pillar.
The only thing she could do was jump and grab on one of the wooden ornaments of the roof, climbing up on it, while waiting for Iggy to fire away the fireworks.
She managed to get up on the top beam of the roof, and looked in the horizon, picturing her plan unfold, only for Dio to punch through the roof behind her, making her squeal in shock and walk away from him.
She tapped herself for any weapons, realising that she couldn’t rely much on her Stand, since it wasn’t as powerful as Jotaro’s or Dio’s, but the only thing she found was her fan.
Jackpot!
“It looks like you’re out of clever ideas.” Dio smirked down at her mockingly, as he stabbed through her fun.
Shockingly enough for him, she closed the fan and twisted it away, managing to easily disarm him and get his sword, getting in a battle stance.
“Not quite! Ready, Iggy?” she yelled, noticing her companion in the far back of the roof, a huge firework roped to his back.
“I AM READY, BABY! LIGHT ME UP!” he cackled as the girl used her Stand to fire up the firework.
“Bold of you to assume I can be defeated! THE WO-” he tried to say, but the girl started punching him, using his sword to stab his cape through the roof, rendering him unable to move, as the firework blew him away into the Firework tower.
The last thing echoeing throughout all China, that night, was a high-pitched “WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” left by Dio Brando, the now defeated Hun Leader.
And then he died.
“Get off the roof! Get off the roof! GET OFF THE ROOF!” she kept yelling to herself, running away, as she was thrown off the roof by the explosion, and Iggy managed to get to her just in time, getting her down on the ground to safety.
Well, not quite...
The Sand for his Stand quickly got used, and he dropped her, making her fall on Jotaro, and they both hit the ground, soon followed by Dio’s sword and Iggy with #5 who kept crying.
“DID YOU SEE HIS DUMB FACE?! Hahahaha! You, #5, are one lucky bullet!” Iggy grinned, chewing on some well deserve coffee gum.
And so, the sky was filled with fireworks of thousands of shades and colours, everyone cheering for their greatest enemy’s defeat.
“That was a deliberate attempt on my life! WHERE is she?! Now she’s done it! WHAT A MESS! STAND ASIDE! THAT creature is NOT worth protecting!” Enyaba screeched in rage, her hair barely escaping being completely burnt, as she walked down the stairs, hitting Jotaro with her cane, all while her friends and the captain were glaring at her.
“She’s a hero.” Jotaro glared at the hypocritical old woman.
“‘Tis a lying snake!” she retorted in disgust. “She’ll never be wroth ANYTHING!” she grinned at him condescendingly.
“Listen, you fucking hag-” he picked her up, ready to use Star Platinum on her, but the Emperor’s voice boomed as he also descended down the stairs, looking sternly at everyone.
“That is enough!” he spoke, catching everyone’s attention.
“Your Majesty, I can explain-” Jotaro wanted to protect the girl, at least this time, but the Emperor raised his hand for him to be silent and for everyone to step away, allowing the girl to step forward and bow down lowly in front of the Joestar.
“I’ve heard a great deal about you, Y/N. You stole your father’s armor, ran away from home, impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonoured the Chinese army, destroyed my palace...And!” he kept trailing on, making everyone cringe at everything he was saying, fearing for the girl who could only look down in shame and guilt. “And...You have saved us all.” he spoke in a much gentler voice now, patting the girl’s head, as he, shockingly, bowed to her, making the hag follow his action, but bowing on the ground, followed by her friends, Jotaro, who tipped his hat at her, before kneeling in front of her...
And the whole China bowing down on the ground for her.
“Enyaba?” Joseph called out to his advisor.
“Yes, Emperor?” she quickly asked.
“See to it that this woman is made a member of my council.” Joseph smiled gently at the girl, making the hag gape at his orders.
“Member...WHAT?! B-But-...?! There are no council positions open, Your Majesty!” she stammered over her words, feeling sweat go down her forehead.
“Very well. You can have her job. After all, she is the...To quote her, ‘Treacherous Snake’ that sold valuable information to Dio Brando.” he chuckled, making us all gasp.
“Wh-Wh-WHAT?! H-How could you p-possibly insinuate s-something like th-that?!” Enyaba stuttered, trying to say something.
“My spies found enough proof. And, to go even further, your next line is going to be : That wretched girl planned it all, just to steal my position!” Joseph smirked, awaiting the result.
“THAT WRETCHED GIRL PLANNED IT ALL, JUST TO STEAL MY POSITION!” she kept hitting aimlessly with her cane, only to stop abruptly as 2 guards picked her up.
“Throw her in jail, for now. We will away public execution, a fate fit for a traitor and a liar. Until then, we should celebrate our true heroine.” the Joestar declared as his lackeys removed the hag from that place.
“With all due respect, Your Excellency, I think I’ve been away from home long enough.” she smiled up at him with thankfulnes.
“Then, take this.” he took off his star necklace and put it around her neck. “So your family will know what you have done for me...And, this.” he handed her the sword. “So the world will know what you have done for China.” hearing those words, she couldn’t help herself and she threw her arms around the unexpecting man, who only laughed mirthfully, patting her back in amusement.
After she was done hugging the Emperor, she went for a group hug with her lovely 2 friends who stood by her all the time and still looked as gorgeous as any ugly concubine would.
When it came to walking in front of Jotaro, however, the man was looking at her, trying to find out what to say.
“Yare Yare Daze...You...You fight good.” he patted her shoulder awkwardly, looking away, not without catching a glimpse at the girl’s disappointed face.
“Oh...Uh, thank you, I guess.” and walked away, getting up on the horse. “Come on, darling, let’s go home.” she patted her horse as they descended the stairs, taking in all China’s cheers.
As soon as they couldn’t see her anymore, the Emperor stepped next to his Captain, clearing his throat.
“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” he tried to sound wise and all, but Jotaro only looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “I’m saying, go get her, already! You don’t meet a girl like that every dynasty!” he advised, pushing him to go after her, as he only chuckled, put on his Emperor hat and left the place.
---
It took a while for her to return home, but the first thing she saw was her father, sitting on the same stone bench under the Cherry Blossom, looking at the pond, waiting for her return, as the flower petals kept swaying in the wind, reminding him of his daughter.
She softly stepped in front of him, making him gasp out her name in disbelief, almost fearing that he was hallucinating or seeing ghosts.
“Papa, I brought you the sword of Dio Brando.” she quickly kneeled on the ground in front of him, passing him the enemy’s sword. “And the crest of the Emperor!” she took off the necklace, giving that one to him as well. “They are gifts, to honour our family.” she tried to explain, unable to read her father’s expression.
As she hung her head, Abbacchio could only shed a few tears, throwing away the gifts and falling to the ground, hugging his daughter tightly to his chest.
“Silly girl, to hell with honour and whatever, it was all my fault that you went to war, only for my sake and my stupid words, nailed into my brain. The greatest gift and honour is having you as my daughter, Y/N.” he declared, caressing her cheeks, wiping away her tears, yet unable to do so for himself, before putting her in yet another loving hug. “I missed you so much, you have no idea.” he kept stroking her hair, trying to sooth her, as they both let all their emotions flow with no blockage.
“I missed you too, papa...So much...” she ushered, hugging him tightly, not realising that the other family members came as well.
As Bruno could only sigh, feeling his heart finally at peace, seeing his daughter and his husband finally reunited, safe, getting along, and happy, the same couldn’t be said about the grandpa, who scoffed in annoyance.
“Great! She brings home a sword, veeery useful. If you ask me, she should’ve brought home a man!” Mista looked at the man next to him in annoyance, only to be interrupted by a rough voice.
“Excuse me, that Y/N live here?” he asked, holding the helmet to his chest.
The 2 men could only stare in shock at the man who magically appeared in front of them, able to only point at the girl and her father who were embracing each other in the garden.
“WHOO! Sign me up for the next war!” Mista grinned, not being able to peel his eyes away from the Captain.“Well, I suppose the Acenstors are finally doing their job.” Mista blinked, almost as if struck by lightning. “Now I have to start wedding preparations! Pistols, get ready for a nice feast!” he grinned from ear to ear, getting a hold of Bruno’s sleeves. “Come on, give them intimacy! Let’s go!” he dragged the younger man away from there.
Jotaro walked in front of Leone, nodding respectfully and tipping the front of his hat in front of him, trying to figure out what to say.
“Yare Yare, to think I’d actually be doing something like this...Ahem. Honourable Abbacchio Leone...Uhmm...Ah, Y/N.” he noticed the girl peeking stepping from behind her father’s tall figure. “You...Forgot you helmet.” he tried to hand her the helmet, only to stop mid-way, giving it to her father. “Well, I suppose it’s actually your helmet, isn’t it?” he cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Go get him, girl.” Leone whispered in her ear, patting her hair, nodding at her to take the reigns in her hands.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” she stepped in front of him, taking the helmet in her hands, smiling up at him.
“Would you like to stay forever?!” Mista’s voice echoed throught he garden, making them hum in amusement as Bruno’s voice followed, scolding the man for being a hypocrite and spying on them.
“Dinner would be great.” he smiled down at her with a tender smile that he never offered anyone but his mother.
“Great.” the girl grinned at him, taking him by the neck of his armor and getting him to her level, kissing him tenderly. “Nice, very nice. But I think I liked the sight from back at the Palace...If you catch my drift.” the girl smirked mischievously, winking at him.
“Yare Yare, what a troublesome woman.” he chuckled, putting his hands on her face and pulling her in another, even more tender kiss.
What they didn’t know what that the party already began at the shrine, as Iggy hit the gong for all the Zeppeli, Speedwagon and whatever other ancestors they had to join, all while annoying the hell out of Kars.
Somehow, Iggy hit himself enough to bounce back and find himself on the shrine stairs, and soon, Narancia’s childish giggles could be heard as he started running around him, and Y/N bent down to kiss the top of his head, thanking him for everything he’s done for her.
Of course, the chickens followed Narancia to the shrine.
CLICK HERE FOR :
PART 1
#jojo x reader#jojo x disney#jojo imagine#JoJo's Bizarre Adventure#jojo's bizarre adventure x reader#jojo's bizarre adventure imagine#jojo#jjba x reader#jjba imagine#jjbava#jjba#jjbava x reader#jjbava imagine#jjba x disney#mulan#disney#disney princess#jojo's bizarre adventure vento aureo#Vento Aureo#golden wind#stardust crusaders#dio brando#Kakyoin Noriaki#kujo jotaro x reader#kujo jotaro imagine#Jotaro Kujo#Jean Pierre Polnareff#Muhammad Avdol#Bruno Buccellati#leone abbacchio
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For You: Stand By Me
Taglist: @jineunwootrash
If you would like to be added to the taglist of any of this blog’s works, please ask!
Recommended Reading: For You: 4 O’Clock; these works have separate, independent, but deeply interwoven timelines.
Chapter 5: The Boy Who Said ‘Always’
Lei’s POV
Thirteen is a landmark age for everybody, I think. When I was thirteen, my life took off in a positive direction, but there were some drawbacks.
Sehun finally made his debut as an idol, attracting the attention and admiration that he always deserved. This wasn’t such a bad thing in itself, but I had seen less and less of him in the weeks leading up to his debut, and I almost stopped seeing him altogether once he was officially a member of EXO. It was a little sad, only being able to see him from the opposite side of a screen when he had been before my eyes for all those years, but I was happy that his dreams were being realized.
Maybe missing him would have been more crippling had I not been so busy with my own projects. Every morning, Amber and I sprinted through the halls of studios downtown to catch idols for interviews before their promotional stages. By the afternoon, I was back in the training studio with people closer to me in age and experience, working toward our shared goal of becoming real idols too.
Why I Experienced A Surge In Happiness At Thirteen:
I spent most of my time with Amber, who I admired deeply.
Speaking to such a vast collection of idols every morning taught me what I was training for: the opportunity to entertain others and express myself through art.
Johnny, Mark, and many of the others who would go on to form NCT took me under their wing on co-ed days.
Joy looked out for me on girls’ training days.
With Johnny, Mark, the rest of NCT, and Joy on my side, the mean girls were much less vocal in their bullying.
I know that this is kind of silly since I swear I believed Sehun when he taught me that others’ approval (or disapproval) didn’t define me, but I remember smiling from ear to ear when Amber showed me all of the supportive comments from people who called themselves my fans just from watching me interview idols with her. So many people cheered for me even though I hadn’t debuted or shown any hint of talent yet.
Even then, it occurred to me that Amber had carefully combed through all of the comments only to show me the uplifting messages, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to dwell on criticisms that I couldn’t see— especially not when she had gone to such lengths to inspire me. Besides, having just been freed from my braces, I embraced almost every opportunity to smile and boast my lack of a gap.
Those days weren’t necessarily easy or perfect, but they were simpler (at least in part) because I did not yet have to manage my image on social media. In my dealings with the public, I followed Amber’s lead and trusted that everything would work out. Now that I am older and I better understand those responsibilities, I hope that I wasn’t a burden to her.
The thing is, Amber never treated me like a burden. In many ways, she almost acted as if we were equal— as if she didn’t outrank me in age and experience in the industry. Still, she was responsible, protective, and considerate of me, all without ever boasting about what she did for me. Those days of following her lead shaped me more than I can ever explain.
If you imagine the perfect older sister, I promise that Amber was better in every way. She proved that every day and especially when we went to Japan for the S.M. showcase and she coordinated that belated surprise for my birthday.
Because that week in Japan marked my first break from training since I started a year prior, the trip was something like a vacation for me. My only responsibility was to help Amber vlog backstage. Once I was done with that, I reported to Super Junior’s dressing room, where Mom had set up a big screen for me to watch all of the performances without getting in anybody’s way.
I was alone, but I had long since learned to entertain myself. When a song I especially liked played through the speakers (spoiler: being first and foremost S.M. trash, I liked every song), I would set my popcorn down at my feet to stand and emulate the choreography while singing along.
Suffice it to say, then, that I was having the time of my life before the morning Amber tiptoed into my hotel room to tug me out of bed before the sun had emerged from its place tucked behind the clouds.
I knew that we were going somewhere special when she gave me a gift bag containing a pair of bubble gum pink overalls. To avoid waking Mom, who was sprawled out and snoring into her pillow, Amber whispered, “Happy Late Birthday! Hurry up and change into that. They’re waiting for us downstairs.”
Amber had been careful not to name who was waiting for us downstairs, but I wouldn’t have believed her if she had. Never in a million years would I have dreamed of meeting Key and Minho in the hotel lobby. They stood, bickering, by the front doors.
I guess Amber wasn’t expecting to see Key either. Furrowing her brows at him, she demanded, “What are you doing here?”
Key scoffed, “Good morning to you too,” but I caught the ghost of a dimple in his left cheek and figured that he was one of many who had a thing for Amber.
She seemed a little oblivious, wrinkling her forehead as she crossed her arms. “Where is Taemin?”
“Yeah.” Minho hurled fire at Key with his eyes as he repeated, “Where is Taemin?”
Key shrugged. “Fast asleep, I guess.” And Minho rolled his eyes.
My face, red enough from being so close to members of my all-time favorite group, darkened with the repeated references to Taemin, who must have been my ultimate bias. I breathed, heart pounding as I was trapped somewhere between relief and disappointment at the realization that he wouldn’t be joining us.
Too overwhelmed by Key and Minho and Taemin’s mere name, I didn’t even notice that Sehun was standing in a darkened corner until he said, “It looks like it’s going to rain soon. Shouldn’t we try to beat the rain?”
Something I can’t understand washed over me. Never in the years of knowing Sehun had I ever embraced him before, so I don’t know what I was thinking when I ran to him and threw my arms around his waist. It couldn’t have lasted for more than a second. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I released him, blushing harder than I had in my entire life.
Thankfully, Key and Minho were too focused on Amber (who was too busy trying to figure out where Taemin was) to witness my utter humiliation. The only witness was Sehun, who only blinked at me. A corner of his lips flicked upward as he waved. “Hi.”
He must have been in a good mood that day. When I finally gathered the courage to meet his gaze, he wasn’t glaring at me. Maybe because I was embarrassed enough without his lecture, he didn’t bother to correct my behavior.
I imitated his tiny smile and waved back. “Hi.”
And then I felt it all at once: how much I missed our everyday interactions— that I was no longer the only one who thought he was the most handsome person— that while I had naturally memorized his every word and every expression, while I had appreciated our every scattered moment, something about Sehun was past tense.
And I had never known to prepare myself for the feeling that I was saying goodbye to something that I couldn’t name but loved nonetheless. I probably couldn’t have prepared myself anyway, and I wouldn’t have wanted to risk ruining the days that are now memories by anticipating the end, but I was so caught off guard by the influx of emotions at the sight of Sehun that (all day) I struggled to catch my breath.
I couldn’t quite hear Minho tattle to Amber that Key had stolen Taemin’s ticket to Sanrio Puroland— I couldn’t quite smile about the surprise destination or mourn the missed opportunity to meet my ultimate idol— over the screaming thought that they were slipping away — or maybe (deep down I knew) they were already gone: the days of sitting by Sehun’s side.
It’s sad that so many details of what could have been our last golden day are lost in my memory. Even as I sit here, trying to dust off the memories off with my pen, all I can recover is the all-consuming fear that I was losing him who was never mine.
There is something sad about the passive love I had for Sehun. No matter how we changed, no matter how many days passed, no matter how the trees and flowers wilted and blossomed, come rain or shine, whether we spoke every day or never again, I would always want to see him just one more time. Always, even if one of us should try to strike it dead, even if one of us should try to forget, my one hope would be to see him happy.
The sad part is: I never willingly gave him my heart. Sehun had it from the moment we met. While something about that is very sweet and childlike and beautiful, it is cruelly unfair. Had my heart ever been mine to give, I probably would have given it to him anyway, but that’s not the point.
I read once that you don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I never got a say in who hurt me. If I had gotten a say in who hurt me, though, I probably still would have chosen Sehun. Like that book said, I probably would have liked my choice.
Anyway, here is what I remember. Here is what I can never forget:
Minho and Key, in their competition for Amber’s attention, had trampled on Sehun’s last nerve, so he wordlessly gestured me away from the group, toward a cotton candy stand.
Nobody noticed the almost childlike smile that grew on his face as he asked, “You like the little bunny, right?” He pointed to bright pink cotton candy shaped in My Melody’s image, and I nodded, too stunned that he remembered my favorite Sanrio character to speak.
When you love somebody the way I loved Sehun, you imagine that there is some deep significance to everything they say and do. Maybe that’s foolish. Or maybe something perceived or imagined is somehow real too. I don’t know.
Even on the most superficial level, I appreciated the smile he concealed behind the tall cotton candy before he entrusted it to me.
Chest heavy and aching for reasons even his apparent happiness couldn’t drive away— wondering if it was normal to want to cry even in the presence of someone who makes your heart flutter— wondering how it was possible to miss somebody right in front of me, right in arm’s reach— I started to say that the candy was too cute to eat.
Then, feeling like that was a weird thing to say, I decided to ask Sehun to take a picture so I could remember this moment later when my thoughts weren’t quite so bitter and only sweetness remained, but I never got the chance.
Dark storm clouds rolled in overhead and spilled cold rain on us without warning. By the time Sehun pulled me under some pastel pink and blue umbrella, much of the candy had dissolved into a shapeless pink blob.
“Sorry,” Sehun muttered as if he had caused the rain. He held his hand out, and I don’t think I would have given him the spoiled candy had I known that he would toss it into the trash bin without hesitation. He promised my devastated expression, “I’ll buy you another one once the rain lets up.”
Frowning, but not quite on the verge of tears, I mumbled, “I didn’t even get to take a picture.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “What a weird thing to say. You were never meant to photograph it. You should be whining, ‘I didn’t get to take a single bite.’”
I said, “People mourn tragedies differently, Sehun,” and I know he wanted to laugh at my dramatic reaction, but he was kind enough to bite back his snickers. And although I had forbidden myself from saying so, when I glanced over at him, and my heart tremored, I blurted, “I miss you.”
Again, he remarked, “What a weird thing to say.” Often when we spoke, Sehun looked away from me, toward something in the distance, but he had been eyeing me strangely since I hugged him in the hotel lobby. I always regretted hugging him. “How can you miss me when I’m standing right beside you?”
Why couldn’t he ever just accept how I felt? Always, always, always, I was embarrassed after revealing my feelings to him, but no shame was ever enough to remind me to bite my tongue. Something about him always compelled me toward honesty.
My face flushed, and I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re just not the same person you used to be.” Sehun grunted as if I had knocked the breath out of him, but I knew that I wasn’t strong enough to do that, especially not with words. “Maybe I loved—”
I hadn’t meant to say that. I meant to say ‘liked,’ but ‘loved’ came out of my mouth instead. I carried on as if I had made no mistake (and maybe I hadn’t), “— who you were as a trainee, and now—”
Why had I said anything at all? I made no sense. My gaze fell somewhere around my feet, somewhere in a shallow puddle. “Well, we never really were equals, huh?”
“I’m not different,” Sehun claimed instantly as if he somehow understood my gibberish.
I argued, “I’m not saying that you tried to change. You just have because that’s what people do.”
“Not me.” I watched Sehun shake his head, but I didn’t look too closely at his face. “And not you either. I’m still me, and you’re still you, so I don’t know why you’re so upset.”
“You really don’t think I’ve changed at all since we met?” I don’t know what I expected. I had always suspected that Sehun would only see me as the nine-year-old he met by the vending machine, but I was somehow disappointed.
Fidgeting under my skeptical stare, Sehun conceded, “Well, obviously some things are different. You’re older and taller. You sound a little different. You don’t look at things with little stars in your eyes anymore, and you don’t walk with your head down like you did last year, but—” He rolled his eyes when I raised my eyebrows to say ‘I told you so,’ — “what matters hasn’t changed.”
Because I didn’t know, I asked, “What matters?”
Sehun shook his head, finally looking away from me as he stuffed his fists into his pockets. “If you don’t know, there’s no point in telling you.” His voice, usually so calm and collected, burned me. I gasped at his temper, and he swallowed his frustration to say, “Words can’t convince anybody that you care about them.”
My jaw dropped. “You care about me?” The answer must have been obvious from the way Sehun cut his eyes at me.
When my cheeks turned red and I looked away, he quietly said, “I don’t like saying these things, Lei, so you’re going to have to put two and two together to realize that I’m always going to look out for you.” I didn’t think it was possible, but his voice dropped even lower when he breathed, “You’re going to have to realize for yourself that it hurts my feelings when you accuse me of changing.”
I almost choked on the humid air. “Your feelings?”
He frowned at my reaction, a thin line forming between his eyebrows as he drew them together. “Yes. I have them too, you know, even if I don’t spill them everywhere.”
Apparently, I had accidentally touched some nerve, but I didn’t think that justified Sehun’s harsh words. “I don’t spill my feelings everywhere.”
I glared at him, thinking that I would have apologized for hurting his feelings if he hadn’t set out to hurt mine too. “I only spill them to you because—” He gave me that warning stare, but I wasn’t going to say anything bad, so I frowned at him for always expecting the worst from me— “I trust you.”
Sehun seemed surprised that I could admit something so nice in the midst of what had become an argument. His eyes widened, and his expression softened as he reminded, “You shouldn’t trust boys.”
Almost teasingly, I lied, “I don’t really see you as a boy, though.” Sehun snorted, so I maintained, donning my most solemn expression, “Really, I don’t! I see you as more of a guardian angel.” Even when he was mean for the briefest second, I only thought good things about him.
“A guardian angel?” Sehun repeated, chewing on his grin. “I should warn you that the more you expect from somebody, the likelier they are to disappoint you— even if they really don’t want to.”
“You can’t disappoint me,” I said, “because I don’t expect anything from you.” Even while living in the moment, I knew that Sehun didn’t believe me, but I promised anyway, “I won’t get mad at you even if you get tired of looking out for me. I get that most people don’t mean words like ‘always’ and ‘forever’ and ‘never.’”
“I wish you didn’t know that,” Sehun said so quickly that I almost thought I imagined is voice. “I mean those words when I say them, though.”
That was the first time that I didn’t believe him wholeheartedly even though I wanted to. I didn’t think that Sehun was purposely lying or anything; I just think that some words are too big— too infinite— for people to understand well enough to use truthfully. It’s an accidental dishonesty. It’s enough that somebody wants it to be true. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
“Okay.” I nodded as if that would bridge my unbelief and the growing ever-present distance between us that he couldn’t feel yet, that he would probably (hopefully) never feel.
With nothing left to say, we stood together under the umbrella, waiting for the storm to pass so we could step back out into the day, but it rained for as long as I can remember. It rained even on the way home.
Yes, I’m still sad that I didn’t get a picture of that moment when I held the cotton candy in those seconds before the storm, but I think it’s sadder that I don’t have a single picture of Sehun from those days. I guess I should take comfort in the fact that the details still haven’t been forgotten; maybe that means they never will be.
#sehun fic#sehun fanfic#sehun drabble#sehun drabbles#sehun imagine#sehun imagines#sehun scenario#sehun scenarios#sehun fluff#sehun angst#exo fic#exo fanfic#exo drabbles#exo drabble#exo imagine#exo imagines#exo scenario#exo scenarios#exo fluff#exo angst#for you: stand by me#kpop fic#kpop fanfic#exo au#sehun au#kpop drabbles#sehun texts#kpop imagines#kpop angst#kpop scenarios
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leeres neues Zuhause (empty new home)
The day stood lifelessly in silence, the sweltering atmosphere reflecting its gloom. The rough walls are painted a dull yellow encapsulating Frogamore’s dry welcome. The only life creaking through the softening wooden floors that sang with Raimond's tiny steps. Sitting on this wooden chair with my bottom slowly growing numb, staring through the windows framed in disintegrating coarse wood, I know I am supposed to feel grateful. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop my mind from stealing this joy, turning the air that smells of soothing and bitterly sweet eucalyptus into the rough shards that were slowly sewing my airways shut.
The red sand outside is cracking in response to the merciless sun that baked it dry. The earth sprinkled with the little greenery this country could give. Its peppercorns pitted around building into the brittle shield I have against the loneliness I feel. The sky is a vivid blue that grew alive with the annoying humming of the kookaburras that stand on the skeletons that they called trees. The ground below blanketed in the wispy green gum leaves that sprinkled the side of the rusty iron fence leading all the way to the old wooden door that cracked with every rare welcome.
My thoughts are wrapped up in the brittle air that swam around the empty house. Its bristly nature scratching the inside of my head burning my memories ablaze. The shadows of Germany are still glowing in my thoughts. The bombs are still exploding in my mind. My stomach is still rumbling with hunger. My body is still shaking with its intensity.
16-year-old Christine paved my path. I was, and still am, sad and lonely but never alone, the voices in my head constantly flaming the insecurities of my life. My existence continuously drowned in sorrow, my own mother cursing me with a life of doom. My childhood was suffocated with accusations of suffering, a life of blood and wounds, which only slashed it with injury into becoming a life of agony.
Despite this intense gloom that kept my body upright with an aura of despair and the voices that bloomed fruitfully in my mind, as a young woman I enjoyed the simplicity of life. I often appreciated the symphonies of the opera that hid the whispers for a moment, tucking them behind the notes of my mind. Reading the fantasies of Shakespeare's world, the love and passion that came along with them I felt the shadows slightly shift.
My young mind longed for an experience to blow the shadows away and seal the voices into my flesh. Meeting Romulus was a manifestation of my aim to glue the pieces ravaged by the voices back into their spot. I still remember our first encounter, back in Nazi Germany. The day was cold and tense with the soldiers that roamed the streets. I was making my way back to my parents home, which was not more than five minutes away from my class. As I opened the door and stepped onto the cold, hard brick path that was swaddled in the crispy white snow, I felt his presence behind me. I turned around to be met with his intense hazel eyes boarded in thick black eyelashes that were covered in little ice droplets, instantly dragging me in. His face was bordered in the blue-black hair that he slicked behind his ears, framing his face with beauty. He introduced himself to me, while I stood in awe, staring at his muscular bronze skin that blossomed around the white snow. He accompanied me that timid, icy evening as I made my way back home. I still remember the path dissolving into the pile of snow, dragging heavily onto my shoes, making those 5 minutes a little longer.
Our relationship blossomed after that encounter, for the better? I'm not so sure. The toxic relationship was intense and passionate, a little sin that we danced with. Romulus and I fought with lustrous desire, both of us fuelled by the risk that our relationship carried. Among the waves of chaos, the risk of being caught and killed, the fear of bombing, the rations and hunger, this relationship brought us the gift of tarnished stability. We often met at the cemetery, I still recall the sticky air, humid, carrying the grime of the crimes committed. The grey headstones camouflaging into the faintly numbing grey sky enclosing us as big boulders rather than the little stones they really are.
I feel the hot air that incubated the little living room growing chilly, still tingling with the memories of the war that replayed in my head. Dortmund was haunted by the shadows of the destruction that came with war. Spring had just made an appearance after the hard, cold nights of the winter. Hunger, fear and loneliness murk in the icy air. I was still young, but the world's expectations were not any kinder. Raimond's birth had stolen the little simplicity that had kept me going. Instead replacing it with numbingly empty nothingness. The days grew longer with hunger and isolation. Romulus often left me to go work and get the little food we had and while I knew that he worked hard to give me and my child everything we could get, I physically and mentally could not do my part. Every morning I was met with the cold air, a reminder of the engulfing feeling of emptiness. Every morning I’d try to get up only to be pulled back by the fibres of the tattered duvet into the folds of my warm bed. Every morning, being reminded by the screeching echoes of the voices that had balled into a tumour of insecurity, keying into my mind not good enough, not good enough, not good enough.
Sitting here in the scorching heat of the relentless Australian sun, the shadows prove once again my life had been cursed since my conception. Reminded, that even though the real threat of the raining bombs has been left behind, the bombs in my head remain aflame. Boom, boom, boom, booming away at my head, leaving behind a life of bloody destruction and pain.
#shorts#short story#story#creative#my writing#immigrants#immigrant experience#pov#mental wellbeing#mental health#women experiences#lifestory
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