#and a post in which I am dean

[4525yaoi]

goofy aah cowboys

#i gave up on this drawin on december and idk why i never posted #so context i was listening to alot of the country album back in december and i thought to myself #what if i draw them as cowboys that would be cool i guess #and then i was like omg what if they are like ancestors or smth #because then we have the mollusk which i also drew them as pirates LOL anyways im cringe but im free #I LOVE MY BAD ENGLISH ITS 4 AM WOOO #ween #dean ween #gene ween #treqaww

[youchangedmedestiel]

Chapters: 3/3

Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 5,187

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jack Kline

Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Jack Kline is Not God, Saileen Mentioned, Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Established Relationship, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Kissing, Boys Kissing, Neck Kissing, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Attempt at Humor, Deansturbation, Masturbation, Teasing, they are so gone for each other, They try to resist it though, because of that silly game they are playing, Smut, Two Endings, Don't be afraid to tell which one you prefer

Summary:

Dean and Cas waited 12 years to finally be together. So, they think they can resist each other, but do they? (Please, read the notes at the beginning for better understanding)

Notes: 

I got this idea from this pic (coming from this post on x): 

#one pic and I write a whole fic #that's how deranged i am #they make me insane #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #fic with two endings #that was supposed to be posted last week-end #well it's finally posted #one week later #post canon divergent #kinda fix it fic #everybody lives #jack is not god #saileen mentioned #fluff #movie night #men of letters bunker #domestic fluff #established relationship #kissing #smut #attempt at humor #please tell me which ending you prefer in the comment #it can be fun #I'm curious about it actually #writing fanfiction #ao3 writer #destiel fic

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

sorry just the fact that family means everything to these two and they just fucking. they leave him they fail him over and over they fucking Leave him in hell they LEAVE HIM THERE-

they try and save everyone all the time they try and save everyone every stranger every innocent. and he was a stranger and he was innocent but he was also their BROTHER they shared a FATHER. and while im personally of the opinion that blood doesnt mean shit, i know that is Not the case for those two they prove that time and time again. and yeah they chose the vast majority of who they considered family in the end but goddamn doesnt it hurt to know you didnt make the cut? you share a goddamn father but theyll put everyone first over you. you who never knew this life you who never wanted anything to do with this. thell choose others over you even though youre just as innocent theyll choose the world over you thell choose each other over you. this kid who had no other family but his mom and a dad who was barely around but tried his best when he was. and they leave him in hell for it

whats the opposite of sins of the father? what do you call it when youre punished because he tried, for once, to do something right to do something good. except no. not even that. because he was only there at all out of guilt, obligation. because you were blood. but at least blood got you a bit of a father? it should have gotten you brothers too but instead all you got was forgotten. abandoned. because your father hurt you in different ways than he hurt them. because theyre jealous of things you never asked for. because you carry the curse of their blood enough for them to resent you like family but not enough to save you like you are

#I AM HAVING THOUGHTS ABOUT ADAM MILLIGAN #FUCK #save #ME WHEN FUCKED UP DOOMED SIBLINGS #FUCK AND THE FACT THAT HE WAS DEAD. LIKE DEAN. THE FACT THEY NEVER REALLY KNEW *HIM* #THE FACT THAT HE WAS BROUGHT BACK FOR THE SAME HIGHER PURPOSE BUT ONCE HE STOPPED BEING USEFUL THERE WAS NO ONE THERE TO SAVE HIM FROM HELL #NO ONE CARED ENOUGH TO DRAG HIM OUT BUT SAM! OF COURSE WE HAVE TO SAVE SAME!! NEVERMIND IT WAS TWO SETS OF BROTHERS LOCKED IN THERE #(im hesitant to post this bc i dont remember a ton about the earlier seasons which is why im rewatching rn so i may me misremembering some #things abt adam but like. yeah. thoughts. having them( #AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT HE AND HIS MOM DIED BECAUSE OF THEIR CONNECTION TO JOHN-

[redgoldblue]

just realised i have to get permission from two separate deans if i want to do a masters. i don't want to contact deans :( emails :(

Edit: made a list about it. am telling myself that if I got through year 1 med surely I can write six emails and also a cv. not sure i believe myself.

#i was perfectly willing to email three separate philosophers (supervisor + two references) but i draw the line at sociologists #(which is what the arts and social science dean is) #and at geneticists (which is what the medicine and health dean is) #i actually don't even know whether it would be her or the director of the md program but either way #also i was lying above i'm perfectly willing to email one (my old honours supervisor) mostly willing to email another #(prospective supervisor) and grudgingly willing to email the third (just a philosopher who taught me a couple of times and liked my essays) #also what if they ask me QUESTIONS. how in hell am i supposed to provide proof of 'yes i can handle both these degrees' #i don't know if i can! i THINK i can. not gonna know until i try am i #i guess i could get my learning advisor who agreed that i probably could to back me up at least with the med dean #anyway. i might delete this post. i am rambling to the void to get it out #mine

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

Put Down Your Gun

for spn poetry month day 15: weapons @spnpoetryrenaissance

this one comes a few days late but i thought i'd post it anyone as it is in dialogue with my poem for day 18. literally dean man put down your gun you don't have to see your weapon as a metaphor for yourself

transcript under cut:

Put Down Your Gun

Why do you seem to think 

you are the only person

who can do anything wrong,

Dean?

The rest of the world is not immortal.

You are not this universe’s achilles heel.

There is no center at which the rot starts.

It is fact: no one can do that much wrong

alone. 

In truth: no one can do that much wrong

at all.

So put down your gun, Dean.

Anyone could shoot it,

but it will always be you who comes away hurt.

Put down your gun.

#i like the second stanza for this but am now bothered by the rest which is why i didn't originally post it #BUT i am about to post another poem which kind of carries on from this one so. thought i might as well <3 #dean winchester #spn poetry #spn poetry month #ola writes

[acesammy]

can i say something?

The fact that sam is not focused on in the later seasons is actually fucking amazing if we consider the alternative to be what happened to dean.. which was character assassination if anything.

#like?? look at sam in season 1 and then look at sam in season 14 and you will find such a fucking hard fought patience and kindness #look at dean in season 1 and dean in season 14 and younger dean would've fucking killed himself #spn #and if we view this narrative as a horror narrative then sure #deans character development is great #but the last 10 seasons do not read like that's what the writers were going for so #i dont think we can give them credit #anyways im not trying to vague someone here i just dont want to be rude on your post! #i respect your opinion and you have every right to be disappointed in sams lack of character development #i am too #but honestly when seasons 14-15 were airing #i came to this conclusion #which is that sam fans fucking /won/ bc our character had yknow actual positive development #and then he stagnated #while dean #... god.. just. fuck #unfortunate #lea speaks #this comes from a place of love for dean too bc it really makes me disappointed to look at his arc on whole #like poor dude would've thrown himself off a cliff if he saw how he treated sam in the late seasons #or cas #or jack #sorry for the insane rambling

[farragoofwires]

don' dweeblog

In the good version of supernatural that lives in my head, bobby and rufus are Divorced divorced instead of just hunting partners divorced and john and bobby fell out because during the divorce proceedings of 'rufus moves out and takes all his shit with him' john found out that they're queer and didn't want """"that"""" around his boys anymore.

#dean heard this argument; which involved newly divorced and upset about it bobby chasing john off with a shotgun; and was like. #well. since apparently being queer destroys your family i am actually the straightest cis man who has ever walked the earth. #also in the good version of supernatural that lives in my head bobby and rufus appear exactly as often as ellen and jo do post bar-burn #and ellen and jo appear exactly as often as bobby and rufus do post bar-burndown. #all of these people are doomed so give ellen the screentime for the love of god i hate it here. #f: supernatural #m: supernatural #'why is john homophobic in the good version of supernatural that lives in your head' because i'm a fucking genius that's why.

[angelsdean]

i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. i am haunted. i am hunted. 

dean is a haunted house. cas is a hunted angel. together they make a home. 

#i was thinking abt my dean is a haunted house post and him saying 'i am haunted' which reminded me of /cas/ saying im hunted i've rebelled #cas is on the run from heaven. dean is an abandoned house. neither feel like they can ever have a home. #but they make one. they make one together. #vic.txt

[triple--a--threat]

bestie that is dean 😭

AND IM SUPPOSED TO KEEP TRACK OF THEM?!!?? HOW THE FYCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHICH WHITE BOY IS WHICH????? DO YOU THINK I CARE

THIS IS LITERALLY HOW THEY APPEAR TO ME

#wheres the post that was like “we need an accessibility feature which tells the name of white boy with brown hair who's on screen” #look i have face blindness and am brown. i can't differentiate between them. you must understand how hard it is #aur bc tum safed log apne aap ko kya smajhte ho. lmao. lagta hai mereko matlal hai. lagta hai mene aaj tak ek bhi pal sochne me bitaya ki #-kis safed haramkhor ka kya naam hai. lagta hai. sach me chulu bhar pani me doob jao. mere se umeed laga rhe hai. MERE SE #hai katha sangram ki. duna dun duna dun. vishv ke kalyand ki #god just kill them #sydmarch #also wait isnt there a third one of them #like the brother of dean right. from wincest. we need a brother so they can incest. his name is sam right #i have absolutely no idea how he looks like. i have never seen that one

[el-im]

#i will post this entire goddamn album track by track #its 7:52 am and i spent all of last night waking up intermittently worrying that i'd somehow slept through my alarm and missed my meeting #now im working on my linguistics presentation #which is on. dialect in classic western films #and i have had this album (for the good times) #and the red one... #fucking. #welcome to my world? #YES #1967. #on every time i work on this presentation bc theyre the most Country of his to me #music #dean martin #sigh

[septembersghost]

if you want to know how my mind is doing, i had a dean-centric dream for the first time in months (that i can remember) last night

for some reason, we traveled to this massive lake in the middle of the night, surrounded by mountains. something had happened to it, and it had turned saline and had properties that were going to temporarily give us powers (don't ask, i think somehow this got borrowed in my head from el's sensory deprivation tank), which we needed to stop a nebulous oncoming horror. we got into the water, where we were supposed to float - not at all outfitted for this, i was in a white lace tiered dress (not poofy, more like this but without sleeves) and he was in a black t-shirt and jeans and wearing his amulet - and we had a rope tied around our wrists that had lights in it, which was meant to keep us from drifting (stolen right out of the willow music video, i never said my subconscious was subtle). the lake is obsidian black with no discernible bottom. we walk into the water and lay on the surface and can see the canopy of stars above us, and whatever was supposed to happen, didn't - cloud cover obscured the sky, and a wind kicked up and caused the surface of the water to ripple, it turned ice cold, and we were no longer buoyant. his amulet started to glow, and we didn't know if that was a sign that we were going to be saved or were in trouble and about to be drowned.

he pulled on the cord and then an undertow started to catch us, and in the light i could see his eyes glistening unnaturally. he said, "we knew this might not work," right before we were both dragged down, and the last thing i could feel was him lacing his fingers through mine.

i woke up shivering and covered in goosebumps, despite it being the dead of summer. totally normal dreams to have, nothing at all to unpack here.

#😳 #cassie #i am only posting this for you and it could've been a message but why not preserve the insanity for the records <3 #lmao checking the notes please remember i dream about simple picnics and walks around lakes with nacho #and with dean it's always some kind of oncoming doom #jess.mess #bubble wrap around my heart #dean feelings #also you all were so quiet today! there's only one message in my askbox which i will answer as soon as i can 💖

[futureghost97]

rant in tags bc I want to sob into a pillow

#I can’t describe to you guys what my job is like. I know I post ridiculous funny stuff but it’s very rarely funny in the moment #I’m a substitute teacher‚ which means that even though I’m in the building EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR #and even though I’ve known most of these kids since LAST DECEMBER (2021) #they just. don’t fucking listen to a word I say #it took 14 minutes and a dean of students in the room with me today to get one of my classes to stop talking over/ignoring me #and I’m not even yelling at them‚ I’m literally trying to 1.) say ‘good afternoon folks!’ and 2.) tell them what the assignment is #all day long I’m ignored and disrespected by the same kids and there are no consequences because this is a charter school #and day after day I’m also disrespected by staff because I’m ‘just a sub’ and you #everyone keeps calling out of work #we finally filled the last VACANCY we had TWO WEEKS AGO. we’ve been down 3 full time teachers since the beginning of the year #and as of two weeks ago we finally filled the last vacancy. so I could go back to JUST substituting. #but today the 7th grade ELA teacher just gave us his one-week notice which means that now that I am the ONLY BUILDING SUB #(we started the year with 3‚ now it’s just me) #I have this terrible suspicion that ​I’m gonna get stuck with 7th grade ELA for the rest of the year. while trying to do grad school. #I just… I’m exhausted all the time #and I act like I’m not but I am #this job is so demeaning and exhausting and I love my students (specifically my 8th graders and high schoolers) #but I’m not gonna see them for the rest of the year. I’m gonna be stuck in 7th grade ELA I just know it #when I say that the middle school is like an active war zone I’m not joking #I had to stop a kid from choking out his classmate today #I leave work every day with headaches because it’s always so fucking loud‚ even in the middle of lessons #I want my old job back‚ this year has been exhausting and I don’t know how I’ve ended up taking on so much more than I’m supposed to #I covered 6 out of 7 periods again this week. the most that any full time teacher has to teach is 4 out of 7 #and the subbing coordinator keeps giving me the heaviest coverage loads and then telling me he’s ‘disappointed’ by how tired I am #he also gave every single person on the subbing team specific shoutouts in his daily emails… except me #tldr I’m feeling disrespected by students and overworked by my coordinator and undersupported by admin and taken for granted by coworkers

[maipareshaan]

I genuinely think the most interesting way to engage with a character is through hate but like reasonable amounts of hate and ideally roasts

#Like maybe its just me i just don't have a want to read about positives #Like i don't have any interest in how strong or kind sam is #Like lit makes me dry i am not joking #And with dean i do have like an interest with how soft he is in s1-6 like i have always maintained i am the greatest s1-6 dean sucker #So besides that i wanna read about how he sucks #Which currently i have done that too much so over it #Also like i totes will see wanky s1-6 dean posts and like them

[acesammy]

Something about the ‘which would you rather have dean? Peace or freedom?’ Line in context to sam and deans characterizations… How Sam chose freedom ever since he walked out and went to college at 18 and how Dean generally was framed as the peacemaker.

#I’m on 3 hours of sleep I don’t think this makes grammatical sense #BUT I’m chewing on something here #’which would you rather have dean?’ #dean would 100% choose peace if it meant having his brother safe #but Sam just went ahead and chose freedom for him #once again I am Suuuper tired tho so I may wake up in a few hours and read this post and go #’what the fuck was i doin?’ #anyways goodnight lmao #lea speaks

[kirbirby]

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

#forgive me #not to fxking post about spn in 2022 #but i am incapable of being normal about jensen ackles i have only realised recently #i rotate the concept of him and dean and soldier boy in my head and its justttttt #rugby football guy #by which i mean he is the football #would punt him around #and hold securely w two hands #hold close to chest #run and kick again #cringe #do not read #but if icant post this shit on tumblr where can i post it? huh? huhhh?