I think I can trace my intense hatred for the whole "regulations are just corporate bullshit, building codes are just The Man's way of keeping you down, we should return to pre-industrial barter and trade systems" nonsense back to when I first started doing electrical work at one of the largest hospitals in the country.
I have had to learn so much about all the special conditions in the National Electric Code for healthcare systems. All the systems that keep hospitals running, all the redundancies and backups that make sure one disaster or outage won't take out the hospital's life support, all the rules about different spaces within the hospital and the different standards that apply to each of them. And a lot of it is ridiculously over-engineered and overly redundant, but all of it is in the service of saving even one life from being lost to some wacky series of coincidences that could have been prevented with that redundancy.
I've done significantly less work in food production plants and the like, but I know they have similar standards to make sure the plants aren't going to explode or to make sure a careless maintenance tech isn't accidentally dropping screws into jars of baby food or whatever. And research labs have them to make sure some idiot doesn't leave a wrench inside a transformer and wreck a multi-million dollar machine when they try to switch it on.
Living in the self-sufficient commune is all fun and games until someone needs a kidney transplant and suddenly wants a clean, reliable hospital with doctors that are subject to some kind of overseeing body, is my point.
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actually i think one of my favorite things about murderbot is how it is CONSTANTLY like "i lie so much i'm such a liar all i do is lie to everyone" and then the moment it's confronted with a situation where it has the choice between lying and telling the truth, it usually either (a) panics and tells the truth or (b) tells the truth because it doesn't know a lie good enough to assist in the situation.
at some point in one of the books it's like "so i told the truth. (i know, that surprised me too)" and i was just sitting there like murderbot, love, you're the only one surprised by this. you are a proven and chronic truth-teller. the only reason why it's convinced that it lies more than it tells the truth is because it spent 35k hours pretending its governor module was still active, and that was a survival tactic for a person who had no idea what to do after a lifetime of being told what to do, and with a high likelihood of being killed if it isn't smart about what it does. when it's for survival, does it actually count as lying??? that's a discussion for another day. what i'm saying is that murderbot is bad at lying and i think that's really funny.
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hazbin hotel redesigns wooooooooo
okay so. i'm gonna discuss my thoughts about them n shit, putting under a readmore bc it's gonna get long and rambley. sorry in advance for the shit formatting, i'm on mobile </3
just some general shit about how i would rewrite it. i think the premise of redeeming sinners is entertaining but is executed horribly. i also am a fan of the "heaven isn't great either" idea but again, executed horribly. i'd make the hierarchy of angels more accurate because it's cool as hell and i have autism about it. the characters from hell would swear still (albeit not as much), but the angels would outright refuse to swear or make vulgar jokes ever. this would be partially to further the gap between heaven and hell and make the differences more stark.
hell would also be more like dante's inferno (again because i think its cool). the ars goetia would get a full redesign and would be more prevalent in demonic society.
now for the characters!
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VAGGIE VALTIEL:
starting off with vaggie, or Valtiel as i've renamed her because let's be honest her original name sucks. Valtiel (Val for short) was an aspiring power angel who wanted to be an exorcist. she looked up to lute and thought the idea of killing demons was really cool and badass. however when she actually was on the field for the first time she discovered how awful this actually was. she tried to help a few demons but lute figured it out and felled her right then and there. the rest of her story is relatively the same. personality wise she's more stoic and less prone to all-out aggression. she still get angry, sure, but it's in a quieter and more menacing way. you DO NOT want to fuck with Valtiel.
CHARLIE:
next up is charlie! i had two ideas for her. the first one (unsettling drawing) has her as a mannequin/doll type demon. lucifer and/or lilith was unable to conceive and as such they built a kid from scratch. she's overall similar to og charlie personality wise, very kind and cheerful despite her unsettling appearance. she struggles with empathy sometimes but really does mean well. her motive for rehabilitating sinners is so they get to see their family again. being able to see heaven from where they are in hell must make them sad, so she wants to help make them happy again!
the second idea for charlie has her as an angel. specifically i casted her as a dominion angel due to their reputation as holy judges. she was once a demon but has been rehabilitated and has risen into angelhood! she now wants to help her former kin do the same and redeem themselves in heaven's gaze. again, similar cheery personality, but a bit more prudish in this rendition
tangent time!
as a side tangent, valtiel and charlie would have a different relationship in this rewrite. their relationship felt shoehorned in in the original show, like it was just there for the hell of it. we didn't see much development between them and it just felt kinda bland. so in my rewrite, charlie and valtiel are amiable exes. they tried dating when valtiel first fell (when charlie was still a demon in the charlie-angel version) but realized their feelings for each other were much more platonic than romantic. they ended things off on good terms, deciding they were much better as friends. they are still besties to this day! later charlie ends up with emily (or 'ellie' as i plan to rename her)
back to the characters
Alastor:
note: i made alastor mixed-race, which could be seen as bad by some due to vivzie saying he's black. however, as many have pointed out, he has no ethnic features whatsoever and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she said that just to get away with using voodoo symbols (a closed religion) in his imagery/design. like viv, i am incredibly white and have little to no knowledge of voodoo, and even if i did i would not use it for something like this anyways due to the stigma the religion already has and (again) it being a closed practice. as such i removed it from his concept altogether, but made him mixed race (white passing) because.. why not i guess, i forgor my actual reasoning
with that being said...
alastor is by far my favorite of the redesigns and i'm honestly tempted to turn him into a legally distinct oc. i imagine he's somewhat reserved, along the lines of norman bates albeit a bit more extroverted. during his life he was a serial killer with a day job as a radio announcer. he took pleasure in reporting about his own murders on the radio, but that is eventually what got him caught (ie accidentally letting slip info that wasn't released to the public). as a result he was sentenced to death. upon arriving in hell, he quickly rose through the ranks to borderline overlord status and is a feared presence by demons and sinners alike. why is he bothering to assist in the hotel project? who knows... his motives are a mystery, like the rest of what he does
(he isn't actually alastair crowley i just thought the naming convention was ironic. however he may have also dabbled with satanic magic in lifetime..)
Angel Dust:
TW: brief discussion of SA
this is definitely my second favorite redesign. i loooove insect themes and wanted to do more than just Extra Arms, so he now has fucked up legs and a lot of eyes too! story-wise, angel used to be a criminal mastermind, hated by both the mafia and the feds. he was a gentleman thief, arranging massive heists under the cover of night while also partaking in the occasional drag show. he ended up a cocaine addict later in life, which caused his work to become sloppier. eventually he was killed in a heist gone wrong, specifically shot by the police.
i'm not gonna go too in-depth on the SA part of his story, but he is hypersexual due to being assaulted in both his life and afterlife. it would be something he'd be working on in the rewrite. his reason for coming to the hotel in the first place may have even been for help with this trauma. underneath his sultry exterior is a broken guy who really just needs someone to care about him for who he really is and not for what his body can do.
LUTE:
so lute and adam are some of the characters i have the most gripes about. the biggest one being why viv chose adam as the leader of the exorcists in the first place. if she wants a biblical figure tied to demon killing, Archangel Michael is RIGHT THERE, aka the one destined to kill satan during the events of Revelations. if she wants the first human to die, that would be Abel, not Adam. and i kinda doubt abel would want to do the stuff that HH!adam has been doing. if she wants an angel related to torture, Dumah is her guy! an angel that rules over wicked souls and tortures sinners every day except sabbath. so many better options...
with that out of the way, Lute is still the lieutenant of the exorcist, who are a specially chosen group of powers sent to purge hell once a year. think navy seals. she's pretty much the same as in the show, albeit more muscular and visually different from other exorcists (seriously why do they all look exactly the same?????) she's a very repressed lesbian who hasn't had time to work on that due to her duties
i also redesigned the exorcist uniform/armor because those LED purge masks are fugly as hell and their clothes don't even look remotely like armor.
Adam + Final Thoughts
i did start a redesign of adam but got bored of it. regardless, i think he'd be the head of C.H.E.R.U.B. instead of the exorcists. he doesn't want his children to make the same mistakes he and eve did, so together they started C.H.E.R.U.B. to help lost souls stay out of hell
final thoughts uhhhh i'm tired. show sucks, it had so much potential but viv ruined it by being a shitty writer and an even shittier person. the designs are fine i guess but they all look exactly the same and are in desperate need of variety. the humor is dogshit, saying dick and balls and penis over and over and over again doesn't make it any funnier than the first three times you made that joke. anyways that's it, i hope you liked my inane ramblings. gonna go vanish for another forty years or so, adios
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something about the fairies taunting jack with rose petals no less. something about the toymaker covering the unit hq in rose petals while he gets shot at. you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you blessed you with the curse of eternal life
jack loses everybody he loves over and over again and as a reminder of that, rose petals.
the doctor loses everybody he loves over and over again and as a reminder of that, rose petals.
tell me that doesn’t sound remarkably similar to the way fifteen describes the goblins to ruby. the goblins are part of the toymaker’s “legions” — ancient and mysterious entities from the dawn of time, slipping in through the cracks in reality, stimulated by human belief and superstition. goblins abduct little children for their own ends and so do the “fairies”. you don’t know where the chicken or the egg is, where history ends and mythology begins: did the folklore emerge from sightings of the real creatures, or did the creatures coalesce like an egregore because of the proliferation of the folklore about them, a manifestation of humanity’s deepest fears come alive ever since the toymaker changed the rules of the game?
but was it the toymaker? could this all be a chain reaction, kickstarted billions of years ago (or only nineteen, depending on how you look at it) when one headstrong young woman looked into the time vortex and turned herself into a literal deus ex machina, defying all laws of reality, raising the dead and disintegrating the death-bringers? could that have been the moment (lol.) when it all began to unravel?
i haven’t seen classic who. what do i know. but maybe it wasn’t the line of salt at the edge of the universe. maybe it was one girl, seeing everything that ever was, everything that will ever happen, anything that ever could be. the fairies haven’t stopped pursuing jack ever since: he’s the living evidence of her miracle. they slaughter his entire train carriage but they don’t touch a hair on his head. other children are the fairies’ chosen ones, yes, but jack is the chosen one of their goddess. the bad wolf
i wonder who that jonathan groff character in the upcoming series is.
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i think about Batman/Nightwing: Bloodborne like. all the time. if you know me there's nothing i quite like more than a blood motif, pair that with the horrors of the body (not to be mistaken with Body Horror) and/or disease and sickness... nothing is more human than what kills us. love is what destroys.
there's a lot about this comic that's so fucking insane. just to name a few:
bruce buying flowers for the graysons every year to place on their graves and not telling dick about it until he finds out on his own because bruce is dying and misses the date. dick looking through ice and snow and empty wastelands for bruce's heartbeat and draping himself over the man when he realises he's alive. bruce telling dick to leave him and escape when they're attacked. dick stopping at nothing to save bruce because abandoning him isn't even an option.
but the thing that really tops all of this immediately is when dick injects himself with a experimental vaccine for the virus bruce is about to die from, and then doing a blood transfusion in hopes of sharing some of the resistant viral antibodies — fully well knowing that there's no guarantee that it will work. bruce might still die. now dick might die first. but, well, this could save bruce and —
and that was always the goal.
LIKE WHAT ???
YOUR BLOOD LITERALLY RUNS THROUGH MY BLOOD.. THIS POISON WE SHARE. THIS DEVOTION WILL KILL US. TOP TEN MOST SADDEST QUOTES ABOUT SACRIFICIAL LOVE. SOMETHING SOMETHING FROM THE BIBLE. SAD PICTURE OF BLOODY KNIFE FROM PINTEREST. I WOULD DIE FOR YOU, BRUCE. I COULDN'T ASK YOU TO, I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TOO. INSERT OUT OF CONTEXT LINE FROM POEM HERE.
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Reading the reaction to Larian's decision to fully step back from wotc/d&d/etc has been interesting
a lot of mourning of the loss of "content"
"we could have had years and years of content" "this is heart breaking to never see these characters again" etc etc
is that what you really want? content? is this what modern media production has come to, that people aren't sated with anything less than milking a property until it's a barren husk of anything it once was?
Why can't we be happy with what we have? I don't think it's unfair to be sad about this news, especially given that it felt like some things were being teased or hinted at, and now they most likely will not come to fruition (at least at larian's hands), but is that really so bad? If you're so dissatisfied with a character's ending or arc, write a fanfiction, draw fanart, boot up the game again and just imagine your way into what you DO want
is that not the fundamental nature of d&d?
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