#and absolutely dragged to hell and back for it

[nyoomfruits]

ellie!!!!! bodyguard au and first kiss for either lestappen or landoscar, whatever you like best please 👉🏻👈🏻

14. bodyguard au + 41. first kiss

Lando, Oscar’s decided, must be the most useless bodyguard in all of existence. He’s loud, jittery, all over the place. ‘Bouncy,’ his sister had said, when they were first introduced. Oscar’s pretty sure he’s never seen Lando sit in a chair normally. But his mum had hired him, and she’s the queen so she probably like, knows what she’s doing.

Plus, if anything, Lando’s fun. Oscar’s previous bodyguard had been a bit of a stone wall, never really talked to him, just stood there, like a creepy bulky shadow following him around. Lando, at least, is willing to join in on the fun, sprawling himself over the couch in the VIP section of the club Oscar’s friends have dragged him to, in deep conversation with Daniel.

The only indication he’s still working is how he politely declines all shots offered to him, doesn’t get a proper drink, sticks to his diet coke.

And Oscar’s kind of happy to just watch him, the way he seems to be in constant motion, the sparkle of his eye as he talks, the way his body moves. It’s captivating, what can he say.

So captivating he doesn’t notice the commotion near the entrance rope to the VIP area. Doesn’t notice the angry looking gentleman stomping towards them. Doesn’t notice the arm raised, knife ready, until it’s already too late.

But Lando. Lando noticed. And he’s there, in a flash, fist connecting with the guys face in a sickening crack. The guy staggers backwards and club security catches up to them, grabbing the guy by the arms, dragging him away without another word.

Lando watches him go for a second before turning back to Oscar. His jaw is tight, and there’s a fire in his eyes Oscar’s never seen before. “You okay?” He asks, and there’s. There’s a tone in his voice. A dangerous one.

Oscar swallows. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I. Thank you.”

Lando smiles. “Any time,” he says, and Oscar knows he means it.

“Shit,” Oscar says, when the motion of Lando flexing his right hand a little uncomfortably catches his attention. “Are you okay? Fuck, that must’ve hurt.”

“Oh,” Lando says, holds his hand up like he kind of forgot about it. “Oh, yeah. Quite the punch, wasn’t it? I think I caught him under his jaw, the bone there that’s like-“ He gestures at his own jaw. Generally, Oscar could do without reminders of Lando’s outrageous jaw, but it’s whatever.

 “What’s that called?” Lando asks, frowns in thought. “Is it just jaw bone?”

“Mandible,” Oscar says, almost on autopilot. “It’s the largest bone in the human skull.”

“Hm, could put a larger bone in your skull, if you know what I mean,” Lando says, a little absentmindedly as he studies his knuckles. When Oscar coughs, choking on absolutely nothing, his eyes widen, like he only just realized what he’s said. “Shit, that’s not. Fucking hell. Shouldn’t have said that. My apologies, your Majesty. Your Royal Highness? Your Grace. My Lord.”

Oscar can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips. So Lando’s okay, then. Himself again. “I told you to call me Oscar.”

“Right. Your Royal Oscar, my apologies,” Lando says, and the twinkle in his eyes says he’s doing it on purpose, at least a little bit. God, it would be so much easier if Oscar wasn’t so ridiculously fond of him.

“Well, come on, my knight in shining armor, I think it’s time to call it a night,” Oscar says, waving at his friends and heading towards the entrance.

Lando salutes, and then follows. Always follows. Oscar wonders sometimes, if Lando knows that Oscar would follow him anywhere, too.

--

(And if the night ends with Lando, pressed up agains the door of Oscar's royal quarters, his mouth on Oscar's, well. That's nobody's business but their own.)

#can u tell i forgot about the first kiss part because i DID 😭 #but this was too fun not to post so. here u go #drabble #landoscar #mctwinks

[beenbaanbuun]

hi i wanna ask if dove ever fought with seonghwa or hongjoong like full on disagreeing and just arguing? and what was it like ^____^ i really love ur Addams!Matz fic and seeing you post smth new related to it makes my day!

darling has tiny arguments with hongjoong on a semi-regular basis. despite her tendency to roll over and submit, she’s actually surprisingly hard headed and if hongjoong claims that she broke a rule that she doesn’t agree with, then she is going to give that man hell. the problem is, hongjoong is equally as stubborn and it sometimes ends up with the house being a full on war zone. snarky comments over a game of chess, silent glares over dinner; it’s just an all round hostile environment and seonghwa just tends to be on the sidelines watching it all go down.

“you can’t move your piece there,” hongjoong deadpans as he watches you do an illegal chess move. normally he’d just laugh it off and gently correct you, but he can’t find it in himself to do that when his blood is still boiling from that mornings conversation.

“well if you can make up rules, then so can i,” you fold your arms in defiance and hongjoong finds himself seething. if he were calmer, he’d drag you over his lap and teach you a lesson about being a brat, but just like you had your rules, they had theirs. no punishments out of anger was a pretty important one; they didn’t want to end up hurting you whilst getting their frustrations out. “and i say i want to put my castle there…”

it usually ends up with seonghwa having to step into the metaphorical firing line, because hell below, he and yeosang are sick and tired of it! the constant back and forth has driven the two of them to insanity and if he has to put a stop to it himself then he absolutely will. seonghwa isn’t a believer in anger, and so he will make them sit down and air out their grievances in a calm and collected manner. he’ll even implement a talking stick of absolutely necessary. as long as the two of them aren’t at odds by the time they slip themselves beneath the comforter or their bed, seonghwa will be happy.

for that very reason, darling and seonghwa almost never argue. if she doesn’t agree with seonghwa on anything, he will just nod and offer to talk it through with her when he’s less busy. sometimes she agrees and step down, but sometimes it’s clear that she’s looking for a fight and she tries to push it further. it’s infuriating because no matter how hard she tries, seonghwa just keeps his cool and answers her as if it’s any other conversation. he knows she only does it when she’s in a bad mood, so his first port of call is usually tackling whatever it is that’s getting you down.

“but i just don’t understand how it’s fair,” you snarl, your pacing coming to a stop right in front of where he sits on the chez. he doesn’t even look at you as you growl out your words, and it drives you mad. you stomp your foot in frustration, the loud noise irritating the man just ever-so-slightly. he lets out a deep sigh.

“i said we’ll talk about it later, lamb,” he hums with disinterest as he flicks over the page of his book. you’re fuming above him, chest rising and falling heavily as you glare at him. he lets his gaze flick up to your face, an unimpressed look resting on his features. “what? are you looking for an argument or something? you know i won’t give you one so why don’t you come and sit with me until you’ve calmed down.”

#ateez x reader #matz x reader #opposites attract universe

[sissylittlefeather]

Your Love's Been a Long Time Coming: Chapter 4

A/N: Please don't give up on Vivian. It's about to get so good. This is the next chapter in my series about Elvis and Vivian Choquette.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, masturbation (male), fantasies about oral sex (f and m receiving), fantasies about p in v sex, small mention of blood from a football injury

Word count: ~1.6k (the next one will be long probably)

If only he would love her.

******

In the morning, Elvis rolls over and reaches his hand out to find Viv in the bed. When he can't find her, he opens his eyes and sits up.

She's gone.

She must've left sometime before he woke up. He sighs deeply and lays back down. Part of him hoped they might talk or at the very least she might let him hold her for a bit. But she only seems to want that when she's been drinking. He closes his eyes and tries to go back to sleep. Maybe that'll get rid of this feeling.

******

Elvis doesn't see Vivian again until they get back to Memphis. She shows up at his house with some of the mafia members and acts like nothing ever happened. They've all come over for a game of "touch" football one afternoon. This is the first time Viv has been there when they play. He assumes she'll stand on the sidelines and be a cheerleader of sorts, but she doesn't. When it comes time to pick teams, she stands with the rest of the guys.

"Viv, what are you doin' over here?"

"I wanna play."

"No. No way." Elvis shakes his head vehemently. He knows how rough these games can get.

"What the hell? I can play." The guys all chime in cajoling Elvis to get him to let her play. It seems like they're all excited at the prospect of tackling her.

"Alright, fine! But nobody touches her."

"That's literally impossible." It's George that speaks up first looking slyly at her. Viv tries to suppress a giggle. Elvis looks between them and has to swallow a surge of jealousy.

"If you get hurt, it's your own fault."

"Yes, sir." She gives him a fake salute.

"What position do you play, anyway?" Elvis asks as a kind of test.

"Quarterback." He and the guys laugh and she purses her lips. Then she grabs the ball away from him, steps back, and throws it.

The ball sails through the air with a perfect spiral and lands about 30 yards away. Every guy on the field turns and stares at her with his mouth hanging open. Elvis swallows deeply and tries to ignore how attractive that was.

"I grew up on army bases and my stepdad always wanted a son. I know how to play football." She says sternly.

"Okay, then. You can play quarterback on the other team."

"Thanks." The teams line up for the first play with Elvis as quarterback and Viv's team on defense. The game starts and goes on without much drama until the third time Viv is on offense. Elvis is on the sidelines panting and sweating, annoyed that she's beating him. The rest of his team is annoyed too and they're tired of letting her get off easy. Without thinking, she tucks the ball and takes off running, but one of the guys gets to her quickly and absolutely pummels her. He knocks her to the ground and she gets stepped on unintentionally by several other players.

"Hey!" Elvis hollers and runs onto the field. "I told you not to touch her!"

He drags the guy up by his shirt and is just about to hit him when Viv pops up off the ground and grabs his arm.

"Elvis, don't! I'm fine!" He looks over at her as she wipes the blood from her busted lip. Her ponytail is knocked sideways and she's covered in dirt and grass. He has to fight the mixed inclination to hurt the guy who hurt her and go to her and make sure she's okay. "Let's line up again. We have two more downs to kick your ass."

He smiles despite himself and nods. She's ridiculously cute in her determination, but he knows he can't mention it. He runs back over to the sidelines and the game continues. She gets roughed up a couple more times before the game ends, but Elvis keeps himself in control. He finally calls the game over when his team is up and she yells from the sidelines.

"You just couldn't lose to a girl, could you?!"

"I don't lose to anyone!" He yells back. She laughs and wipes the blood from her lip again. He runs over to her and throws his arm around her shoulders. "C'mon, kid, let's get you cleaned up."

Everyone makes their way into the house talking and laughing loudly. Elvis takes Viv to one of the bathrooms and gets a washcloth wet for her. She dabs at her lip in the mirror while he watches.

"I don't think I need stitches. No harm done. Does it look bad?" She turns to him and pouts so he can see her lip.

Don't kiss her. Don't kiss her. Don't kiss her. He has to repeat it to himself.

"Nah, it looks fine. You'll be back to kissing my friends in no time." She pushes his shoulder.

"Yeah, you just wish I was kissing you." She goes back to dabbing her lip with the washcloth and then starts wiping the dirt off of her face. She's right. He does wish that with everything inside him. But he knows better than to push for anything.

He leaves her in the bathroom to finish getting cleaned up and goes back to the rest of his guests.

******

Eventually, everyone goes home or goes to bed. Elvis watches as Viv walks out with George and gets in his car for him to take her home. He sighs deeply and then goes upstairs to get in bed.

He changes into his pajamas and lays down, trying to ignore how empty his bed feels. He knows there are girls he could call and they'd be there without hesitation. But the one girl he wants wouldn't come even if he called her.

His mind drifts back over the day and he thinks about her on the football field: the way she threw the ball, her laugh as she ran, the way she insisted she was fine after getting demolished. He thinks about the way she pouted her lip in the bathroom to see if she was really hurt. And then he imagines kissing her. He thinks about how he could've taken her chin in his hand and then so gently pressed his lips to hers, being careful not to cause her any pain. Maybe she would've wrapped her arms around his neck and let him slide his tongue into her mouth. Maybe she would've pressed her body up against his or rolled her hips against him. Maybe she would've let his hands roam over her, down to her...

Before he realizes what he's doing, Elvis has his hand wrapped around his hardened cock, imagining Viv's long fingers on him. He pushes his pants down to his knees and goes back to stroking himself, sliding his foreskin back and forth. He groans softly and moves his hand gently, creating just enough friction to drive himself crazy. He focuses on Vivian and her beautiful body. He's held her in his arms before; it's not a stretch for him to imagine her undressed and pressed against him. His hands long to feel her soft skin, his thumbs playing with her nipples until he presses his mouth there. He can almost hear her moans as he moves his tongue on her. He strokes himself a little faster, hips bucking into his own hand at the thought of Viv, writhing and pulsing under him as he licks her clit until she reaches a climax. He swipes his thumb over the tip of his dick to collect the bead of precum that's gathered there. What would she be like with her pretty little mouth wrapped around his cock? The thought makes him feel guilty, but he grunts anyway and continues pumping himself. And oh, what it would feel like to slide himself inside her. His dick twitches in his hand at the thought. She probably has a beautiful little pussy and he wants to know what it feels like so badly that it hurts. He wants to give her the most intense pleasure, to hear her moan his name and see her face when she cums. His hand moves up and down on his cock, pinching the foreskin at his tip and rubbing it together as he grinds into his palm.

"Oh, god, Viv!" He whispers as he reaches his release and hot ropes of cum spurt out of him onto his hand.

"Yes, baby... yes, Vivian..." he whispers as he continues to cum, shuddering into his own palm. He sits and breathes for a second as his cock softens.

Annoyed and sad, he finds something to clean himself up with. Why will she fuck everyone but him? But it's more than that. Why won't she love him the way he wants her to, the way he needs her to? He'd be so good to her, if she'd let him.

But, he can't keep thinking about her like this. He needs something else, someone else. His mind drifts back to Priscilla and the letters she keeps writing to him. It's probably time to bring her here and make that official. What does he have to lose? Not Vivian.

******

Vivian rolls over away from George, who is asleep in her bed. She wishes he would leave so she could cry in peace. She seems to be right about Elvis not wanting her anymore, based on his actions today. Even when she made that joke about him kissing her, he stayed aloof. She squeezes her eyes shut to keep the tears from falling.

Oh, Elvis, she thinks. Why won't you come and rescue me from myself?

*******

Until chapter 5!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @jhoneybees @everythingelvispresley @returntopresley @atleastpleasetelephone @cinnamoroll-things

#elvis presley #elvis presley fanfiction #elvis fanfic #elvis #elvis presley fic #elvis fanfiction #elvis fic #elvis presley fanfic #elvis x oc #Elvis x Vivian choquette #your loves been a long time coming #ylbaltc

[lyv-writes]

drowsy with delight: joel miller x reader

words: 2,783

warnings: afab!reader, consensual vaginal sex, mating press, groping, spanking, established relationship, breeding kink, trophy wife!reader, trying for a baby, dry humping, oral (fem receiving), fingering, forced orgasm, squirting, sleepy cuddles

notes: my first time writing for joel!! any feedback is appreciated <3 inbox is open for requests or to just chat!! :3 this was also crossposted on ao3!

༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴

“God, sugar, you looked so goddamn cute today.”

The words tickle your skin as your husband murmurs them against the skin of your neck, his hands groping at your stomach and waist as he backs you into your shared bedroom.

With Sarah living on her own, Ellie away at college, and Johnny’s football team celebrating their big win at their coach's house, you and Joel had the house to yourselves for the evening—and Joel intended to make the absolute most of it. His hands trailed from your waist to your ass, palming at the plush flesh roughly as he pulled you flush against him.

“Watchin’ the game all clueless,” he teases, sucking a dark mark onto your neck before trailing kisses across your jaw to your lips. “Teasin’ me with this fuckin’ dress.”

He turns you around in his arms and bends you over the edge of the bed, one hand between your shoulders to keep your chest pressed to the bed, the other pulling your dress over your round ass and yanking down your skimpy panties. “Could damn near see your ass when you bent over to pick up that stupid flag.”

“I-It was Johnny’s team flag,” you whined, arching into his touch as he dragged his hand from your lower back to the globe of your ass, stroking the skin softly.

“We could’a bought another.” His palm comes down harshly, wrenching a yelp from your glossed lips.

“Hell we could buy a thousand of them damn things, honey bun.”

Smack!

“Thought you liked the dress, Joel.” Another hit, much harder than the last, makes you cry out his name.

“I do, bunny, but not when you’re flashing the other parents.”

The sugary sweet tone to his words was undercut with another heavy hit, this time to your sticky cunt, the strings of your arousal connecting to his hand before he pulled away to inspect the mess you left on his palm. Your body jolts at the sensation of his fingers exploring your folds, teasing your aching clit with fleeting touches and soft brushes as tears gather on your waterline.

Glancing at Joel over your shoulder, your face pressed to the bed with your husband’s hand rubbing soothing motions over your tender cheeks, a groan tumbled out of Joel’s chest when you met his eye. You knew how weak he got for you when you shot him that pleading look over your shoulder—had him folding every damn time.

“Don’t look’a me like that, darlin’,” he muttered, folding over your form to press a deep kiss to your pouty lips.

“Don’t tease me then,” you shot back when he pulled away, wiggling your hips against his crotch and sinking your teeth into his bottom lip. “Want you, Daddy. Been achin’ for you since the game.”

“Since the game, bunny?” He repeats, a shit-eating grin on his face as he sits against the headboard, dragging you into his lap facing him. A whine slipped from your lips at the feeling of his large bulge nudging your bare core through his jeans. “Tell Daddy what got you all worked up.”

Another fond laugh from Joel filled the air as you ducked your head into his neck. No matter how many years the two of you have been together, you will never get used to Joel calling himself Daddy. It just makes you want to sink into that lovely, soft headspace when he uses that voice.

“When you yelled at the ref,” you spoke, pulling your face away from his neck to look up at him through your lashes. As you remembered the way the vein on the side of your husband’s neck bulged as he called out the ref’s favoritism—they had to award Johnny’s team because of the ref’s bad call—your hips began to roll against his mindlessly.

“Loved seeing you stick up for our son like that,” you said with a breath, your hips picking up speed as they rocked against his. Joel grunted when you passed over his head in just the right way, his hands gripping your hips tightly as your hips and the fabric of his jeans created a kind of friction that had his hips jumping under yours. “Such a good man, Joel, such a good dad. I love you so much, Daddy.”

“I love you too, bunny,” Joel returns before bringing your lips to his in a punishing kiss, his love and devotion pouring out through the kiss as he swallows your little whines. “Such a good mama to our little family, honey bun.”

You return his words with another passionate kiss, your mouth opening on its own for him to explore with his tongue. He always kisses you like he’s rediscovering your mouth for the first time, running his tongue along your teeth, your tongue. It feels sloppy and filthy and you melt into his arms at the sensation of his chapped lips and beard grazing your skin.

“Let’s have another,” you murmur against his lips, hands dropping to the buttons on his green flannel, undoing the first three before Joel can gather your hands in his, pulling away to look you in the eye.

“Are you serious, bunny?” Joel asks, hope lacing his question as his eyes search yours for a sign of insincerity.

Nodding sheepishly, you press another kiss to your lover’s lips, this one slow, sweet, but no less loving, no less passionate, making sure he knew how serious you were. “Been thinkin’ about it for a few weeks and I really want to. Your company is doing amazing, and I’m sure Tommy wouldn’t mind takin’ the reins for a bit when the time comes. Let’s do it again, baby. Please?”

Without a word Joel has your dress coming over your head, throwing it to the side somewhere to be forgotten about until the next day. His lips are attacking your neck as he rolls you underneath him, hands groping at your bare breasts now that they weren’t covered by that sweet little dress that started this whole thing.

“Can’t wait to see you all round and full’a my baby, again, dolly,” Joel groans, pressing a desperate kiss to your lips, his hand tangling in the hair at the back of your head as he pressed your face closer to his. “These pretty tits all full’n sensitive. You were so needy when you were pregnant with Johnny, bunny, do you remember?”

“I do, I do!” You wailed, his fingers pinching and tugging at your nipples roughly before he takes one into his mouth, continuing his ministrations with his fingers on the other. He bit your nipple lightly, before sucking harshly at the tender bud, the slight sting making your chest arch further into his mouth. “Couldn’t help it—love you so much, Joel.”

“I love you, too, baby,” he coos, lifting his head from where his mouth had moved onto your other breast, a red mark already forming under his ministrations as he trailed his kisses down to your core. “More than you’ll ever know, sugar.”

“Please, Daddy, just fuck me,” you whimpered, legs kicking slightly underneath his weight. “Don’t need’ta get me ready, wanna feel you, Joel, please.”

Joel stands up from the bed, quickly undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt before it meets the same fate as your dress, his jeans following suit seconds later to leave him bare in all his glory in front of you. You’d had a couple partners here and there before Joel, but he was by far the hottest guy you had ever even seen. His cock bounced against his tummy, leaving a wet patch on the hair that trailed to the base of him, thick head flushed red.

Arms, chest and shoulders strong and solid from his construction work, various small scars and tiny faded tattoos lingered around his torso and arms—he still had a faint ‘J’ on his hand, in between his thumb and pointer finger, from when he was 16 and tried a stick’n’poke for the first time—just the sight of him had you rubbing your thick thighs together where you laid on your shared bed.

“Need me that bad, baby?” Joel croons, cocky grin in his face as he slowly strokes his dick, moving to hover back over you on the bed. “My lil’ bunny wants to feel my big dick stretch’er lil’ pussy, does she?”

Nodding your head feverishly, you thread your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging his head down to meet yours in a sloppy kiss. “Need you, Daddy, please. Fuck a baby into me!”

It doesn’t take much more convincing from you before Joel’s swiping the head of his cock through your slick folds, flattening his length to the curve of your core to drench his cock with your arousal. Your eyes meet his, lids heavy and eyes glassy, lips red and swollen, cheeks flushed pink, and Joel can’t help but press the head of his cock to your entrance. Any thoughts of teasing you further were wiped from his mind as he began slowly stretching you around him until the head of his cock was settled in your snug entrance.

Joel leans his head back, hips making small movements until he’s seated halfway into your heat, velvet walls fluttering around his thick length. His hands settle into the nook at the back of your knees, pressing your legs as close to your chest as was comfortable. The change of position had his cock slipping deeper into you, your mouth opening in a loud moan at the feeling of the coarse hair at the base of his cock pressing roughly against your clit as he bottomed out.

“That’s it, baby, you were made to take my cock,” Joel forces out through gritted teeth, slowly dragging his cock from your wet heat to roughly thrust back in, the tip of his cock nudging against your cervix. “Made to carry my kids. Fuckin’ perfect for it.”

“I was! Made f’you, Daddy,” you agree, words slurring together slightly as his thrusts pick up speed, the wet sound of his hips meeting yours echoing in the empty bedroom. “Made to carry Daddy’s babies.”

“That’s right, bunny, don’t gotta worry ‘bout anythin’ else.”

With a grunt Joel grabs a pillow, quickly sliding it under your hips as he lifts them off the bed, his cock sinking deeper into your wet heat, his head brushing that soft spot in your cunt. Your back arches as Joel angles his hips up just the slightest bit, battering that little spot. Over the ringing in your ears as your high gets near, you hear Joel rambling as he fucks into you ruthlessly.

“My dumb girl, look at you, I fucked the brains right outta you, didn’t I?”

You’re nodding listlessly, drool trailing down the corner of your lip and Joel leans down to lick it up before capturing your mouth with his, sliding his tongue alongside yours. He pulls away, fixing you with a condescending grin. “All day, you’ve been my dumb bunny, huh? Didn’t know what was goin’ on, just happy to be on my arm at our son’s game. But I know the only thing on y’mind was this right here.”

With your mouth open, eyes squeezed shut so hard tears are trailing down your temples, Joel grabs your cheeks roughly, spitting into your open mouth before his thrusts pick up speed. “That’s it, baby, I know you’re close,” He says, coaxing you further to your climax. “Give it to me, baby. Give it t’me so I can breed my cunt.”

Scrambling for purchase on his arms, your nails dig into his shoulders, red lines trailing after your fingers as you drag them down his skin. Your eyes meet his, brows pinched in pleasure and the dark glint to Joel’s eyes and bared teeth has you clenching down around his length hard, a flash of heat surging through your body as a warbled cry of his name leaves your spit-soaked lips. The cry devolves into sobs as his thrusts remain steady, working you through your orgasm with soft praises and I love you’s.

“J-ust a bit m-more, honey bun,” Joel warns, dropping kisses all over your face, kissing away your tears. “Gonna give you what you want, baby. Gonna give you a kid.”

“Yes, yes,” you plead, arms wrapped tightly around Joel’s shoulders, overstimulated whines and whimpers in his ear spurring him on. “Knock me up, Joel. Cum for me, baby, need you to.”

With your words, a few more thrusts is all it takes until Joel stills, replacing his hands on your thighs to tilt your hips further up, grinding his cock as deep as he could get it. “F—Fuck! Tha’s a good girl—took me so well, bunny, always do.”

Beneath his weight, blissed out and full, you hum contentedly, the warmth of his spend in your lower belly causing a dopey smile to stretch across your lips. Upon feeling Joel shift, you look down at him to see him slowly sliding out, keeping your hips canted up so that none of his cum could escape.

Joel easily situates your legs on his shoulders, head lowering down to your well-used pussy, clenching around nothing as the feeling of his breath washes over the sensitive area. He presses a soft kiss to your clit before licking a long, broad stripe up your wet slit before taking your aching bud into his mouth, sucking harshly at your clit. A loud keening noise left your mouth at the unexpected feeling, your thighs shaking before closing around his head.

“J-Joel!” You cried, hand finding his salt’n’pepper hair and tugging softly, not wanting to hurt him too badly. “Daddy, s’too much, can’t do it.”

Joel shakes his head back and forth while it's buried between your legs, the sensation making you seize up, your body pushed closer to your peak. He pulls away, tongue wiping away the wetness on his lips. “Daddy says y’can, so y’will. Better chances of it takin’ if you cum again, just one more f’me, baby.”

Nodding with a sniffle you try to relax against Joel’s shoulders, a long moan leaving you as two of his fingers slowly sink into your gummy walls, crooking upwards looking for that little spot that he’s sure he can make you gush on. His mouth meets your core again and you roughly tug at his hair, mumbling out a string of apologies at the grunt that he lets out against your cunt, hips threatening to jerk at the feeling of the vibrations on your clit.

The build to this one is syrupy sweet, taking it’s sweet time to work you under until you’re writhing against his face with a whimper, grinding your cunt against his tongue as your release drips out around his fingers and down his wrist, a wet patch forming on the pillow and sheets. “There ya go, bunny. Such a good girl f’me, I’m sure it’ll take.”

He crawls over your drained form on the bed, smiling gently at the content smile on your face before pressing a languid kiss to your lips. “I’m gonna get somethin’ t’clean you up with. Be back before you know it.”

Nodding against the pillow, you feel yourself start to drift off before the feeling of something warm carefully cleaning up your sensitive areas pulls you from that fuzzy, dreamland. He carefully shifts your hips off the pillow, throwing the pillowcase and the cloth he wiped you down with in the hamper before setting the pillow next to it as a reminder to wash it.

Joel crawls into bed beside you, wrapping an arm firmly around your waist and pulling you closer to him, molding your curves to his body. Dropping a lingering kiss on the top of your head, he pulls the covers over your naked bodies, trapping the warmth and love that radiated off the two of you.

“I love you, Joel,” you mumble, sleep tugging at your mind and bogging down your words as you fight it long enough to share a few words with Joel. “I can’t wait to have another baby with you.”

“I love you more, sweetheart,” he replies, his voice a quiet whisper so you could hear, but it wouldn’t shatter the atmosphere that had settled in the aftermath of your love. “Thank you for giving me a family.”

Your response dies on your tongue as sleep finally sweeps you away, but the way your body shuffled closer to him, face nuzzled into the crook of his arm and your soft breaths brushing his skin, was answer enough.

#joel miller x reader #the last of us #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #my writing #can be hbo!joel or game!joel its up to you! #sighs i just wanna be a trophy wife

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - How Not To Resurrect A Half Demon Lord

@lexiepiper @Ghostfox_fuyu

Being both an adventurer AND technically a monster wasn’t exactly the best mix to avoid fights, so it’s a good thing Danny actually LIKED fighting even if he couldn’t exactly ‘go hard’ against humans to avoid, you know, KILLING THEM. Other adventurers though? Yeah they didn’t exactly enjoy fighting what they thought was a weirdly powerful dungeon spawn.

Danny runs, skidding across the ground on his claws, the scrapping sound is loud but nowhere near the volume of the explosion happening right behind him. His tail nearly gets nicked! He’s not happy, not one bit. “WOULD YOU STOP THAT!”.

The mage with a frankly obscenely large hat damn near growls at him, which hey, growling was Danny’s thing. “Silence! Foul demon!”.

For fucks sake! Like yes, he gets that he looks like a demon. He gets that. But could people please just stop assuming that he belonged to whatever dungeon he and they happened to be in? This place was a goddamn lava dungeon, he was an ice demon with a black and white theme! Use your brain! Why would a fucking ice demon be in a lava dungeon!

Which, to be fair, him going into a lava dungeon wasn’t exactly smart or using his own brain; but Sam and Tuck thought this one would get them some sick ass gear so off they went. Of course they wound up getting separated, and of course Danny wound up running into other adventurers with the same idea as his party, and of course they mistook him for a dungeon beast. That’s his classic luck right there, everybody!

Ramming one set of claws into the wall and climbing up the hot rock as fast as he can, channeling some ice to his palms to avoid burning himself, it also was making some super cool-looking mist sizzle off of the rock so that was a neat bonus.

The adventurers trying to annihilate him seem to agree, the dude in black armour muttering to another mage with super orange hair, “hey if I equip ice gauntlets you think I could do that, it looks cool as Hell”. The mage whacks him over the head, ha!

Danny snorts to himself, jumping on to a ceiling stalactite of solid hot magma, ow ow ow ow ow, stupid ice core, stupid Tuck and Sam dragging him into a lava dungeon, stupid him for jumping onto solid magma, stupid stupid stupid. Ugh. But Danny does what Danny typically does when presented with pain, quips, shouting down, “why don’t you give up if you keep misting me!”. Ha! Good one, self. Ow.

The armoured guy chuckles, “I love it when monsters have a sense of humour, makes it so much more fun”, and hurls a goddamn spear at him. Nice, Danny can do spears and show off a little.

Danny launches himself down, grabbing the spear in between his teeth, fangs making it easy to keep the spear in there, and uses the spear head stabbing into the ground below to allow him to basically land going face down before gripping the shaft with his hands and spinning himself into an upright position. Him yanking it out of the ground and spinning it dramatically, grinning meanly, “oh I love free gifts, how’d you know it was my birthday?”, it’s totally not, he’s just being an asshole.

Big hat mage scowling at armoured guy quickly, “nice going, Salient”, then glaring back at Danny. Okay so armoured guy is named Salient, weird but okay. She shoots a fire last at Danny, Danny bats it away with the spear head snickering all the while. Then the other mage hits him with a holy-blast, because of course she does, and sends him into a wall.

He absolutely dropped the spear. Damn. He wanted to add that to his collection, which sure was definitely something he wasn’t doing before the whole resurrection gone wrong crap happened and he some how wound up getting his human souls wires crossed with Hell itself. A fuck up of hellish proportions.

Him shaking off the burn and sizzle from the holy power, at least still being kinda human and alive would stop that shit from outright smiting him, just burned and hurt like a motherfucker. The biggest annoyance his holy sensitivity usually caused him was not being able to use holy based healing potions… which were the cheapest kind aka the kind his party usually used to buy. Demonic based healing potions were the shit for him though, especially since he never had to worry about them debuffing or cursing him.

Orange hair mage huffs, “damn it, that didn’t do it”, scowling, “this place has some seriously strong demons, we might have use a hearth stone if it keeps up like this”.

Danny sticks his hands out to the side, tail twitching, “or maybe! Think a little and realise I’m not from this freaking dungeon!”.

“As if we’d believe a snake tongued demon!”.

Okay that’s just rude! It took him a very long time to learn how to talk with a forked tongue and he had to put up with a lot of mocking from Tuck! He sticks his tongue out at the group before having to climb up a wall again to avoid some thunder bolts from big hat mage and an arch of fire from Salient’s sword. At least he’d learned not to throw solid objects that Danny could grab, progress; progress for them and not him specifically. A very unfortunate specific.

Danny sending out a bit of icy flames that glowed black with his demonic energy to destroy another flame arch from Salient while moving sideways across the wall, he hates this dungeon it’s too fucking hot, goddamn. Zipping up to the ceiling and smacking his claws and palms on it, sending out a powerful wave of pure cold to force the ceiling to start snowing, which of course turns into very hot burning rain by the time it gets down to ground level. The party starts screaming and ducking for cover, that was surprisingly more effective than he expected and he absolutely had not intended to basically rain down boiling demonic water on them. Oops. He figured the snow would melt but not to the point of becoming boiling hot! How much energy was his core expending just to keep him fucking cool in this goddamn hellscape?!?

Danny skittering his way across the ceiling and in-between a gap between a stalactite and the dungeon ceiling, shouting a quick, “not trying to boil ya! Sorry!”. As he goes. Maybe they’ll be too busy hiding to realise where he’s tucked himself away. That would be nice, real nice.

“What kind of demon says sorry!”.

Don’t quip back, don’t quip back, don’t quip back. He’s trying to hide and quiping will fuck that up… “MY SORRY DEMONIC ASS!”, ah goddamn it, why does he do this to himself? Unsurprisingly the stalactite his hiding above gets fucking shot at by a holy bullet. That’s… that’s not great. Those sucked to get hit by and he’d one hundred percent need to be resurrected again if that shit hits his core enough times. But hey! Maybe that would un-demon him! Stupid plan, but hey! At least it is a plan! Plus that did not work when he accidentally fell into a pit of pure holy water. That had been the worst.

The stalactite gets shot at again, this time piercing through it and skimming his shoulder; him making his lip bleed by biting down to avoid yelping. Still hissing out a, “bloody hell”, though, because he could never just shut the fuck up could he? Also, he is officially panting, because it is too fucking hot here and his breath is making a bunch of mist aka giving away his spot more than his stupid quip did. Fuck him entirely.

He’s got three options:

One: start killing adventures like a proper full demon.

Two: overheat and pass out, possibly falling into hard ground or a pool of lava only to be descended upon by adventurers who would definitely hit unconscious him with a holy attack.

Three: leave his hiding spot and start looking for cooler areas while avoiding getting hit or doing any major hitting.

Four: use a hearth stone to teleport out of the dungeon, seems like the obvious choice right? Except when Danny’s half demon ass did that he wound up in Hell every time and Sam and Tuck would have to go through the hassle of getting him back out of there. That crap always resulted in them having to track down yet another ice dungeon and use forbidden demon summoning magic. Meanwhile he’d go throwing hands with demons for however long it took his friends to get him. Not ideal.

Then it turns out that there’s actually a fifth option, a wall blowing up and sending his bullet hole riddled stalactite crashing down towards the ground and exploding in hot semi solid magma. OW! Danny sputtering and shaking himself off aggressively, “oh fuck! Bloody hell! Me damn fuck it! Stupid fucking lava dungeon! Stupid fucking adventurers! Where’s my teammates when I me damn need them!”.

“Shit since when do goddamn demons team up! We need to hurry this up!”.

Then there’s a very loud thump, Danny squinting his fucking burning eyes up at the noise, fuck yeah! It’s Tuck! Nice! The guy’s landed directly on top of the orange haired mage, pointing his fricken lightning cross bow right in her face. The Salient guy getting hurled into a wall by vines seconds later, and a few more seconds and said vines are on fire and brunt to a crisp.

The big hat mage jumping back from the newbies assaulting her group, “great, how many different kinds of demonic vermin does this dungeon have!”, her creating an explosion with electricity to make something of a smoke screen for her to grab Salient out of the hole in the wall the guy made.

But! BUT! That puts their backs to Danny, and Danny might object to killing people but he did not object to bruising them up some. Meaning he launches himself at them, grabbing the back of both of their necks, and slams them into the ground; using his tail to tie their ankles all together. He also grabs the hat mages hat with his teeth and eats the fucking thing as a probably insane looking show of superiority.

Tuck, not looking at Danny and still staring violently down at orange hair mage, “you good, Danny-man?”.

Danny growling, “I’m annoyed, burnt, and vaguely considered making y'all haul me outta hell again for dragging me to this shit ass place”.

Sam walking calmly through the destroyed wall and into where they all are, “honestly I hate this place too. My plant magic is completely useless and I wrecked my helm”.

Danny snorting, “ha! Serves you right!”, he gets elbowed in the chin by Salient for being distracted. But well, an elbow, even armoured, isn’t gonna do much to Danny, so he just growls down at the man while said elbow is being pressed up into his chin.

Tuck snorts at the scene, “I’d stop that, Danny’s an obsidian rank combat warrior”. The mage beneath him scowling, “that is a demon spawn or are you fucking blind?”.

Danny takes offence to that, demon wise he was on par with a demon lord! Not a freaking basic hell spawn! “Excuse you!”. But Tuck laughs at Danny’s expense, “that’s what you get for never fighting back, moron”. Danny sticks his tongue out at the guy.

Sam shaking her head as she walks over to Danny, “seriously, if they attacked you first who cares if you hurt them”, grabbing the unconscious ex-hat mage out from Danny’s grasp, shit he hadn’t actually realized he’d knocked her out. Whoops. Sam pointing a finger at Salient, whose elbow is still pressed into Danny’s chin, “you wouldn’t be holding your own for shit if Danny took you seriously”.

“Pfft, I could take him”.

The orange hair mage snapping, “are you serious right now?! You are literally being pinned down you idiot!”.

Danny nodding, “glad we’re on the same page on that”; rolling his shoulders as he can feel some of the burning healing itself, he’d be healing a hell of a lot faster if he wasn’t in this damn hot lava dungeon though.

Tuck rolling his eyes before staring down at the orange hair mage, “look. Danny’s an adventure, he literally has a license on him right now. The only reason he’s in this dungeon is ‘cause we heard there was some bomb ass equipment in here, same as you guys probably”.

Sam laughing a bit meanly as she gives the ex-gay mage a healing potion since Danny probably gave her a concussion, “Danny’s not a ‘hell spawn’ he’s a fucked up resurrection spell gone wrong”.

Salient snorting, “prove it! And how the Hell did that happen?”. Danny snickers, “hell happened”; Tuck moving his crossbow out of orange hair mages face specifically to shoot Danny with it.

“Ow! You jerk!”.

Unfortunately orange hair takes that opportunity to blast Tuck nearly point blank in the stomach with a holy blast, sending him smashing up into the ceiling. Oh Hell fucking no, attacking Danny was one thing, he was a demon-looking mother fucker and could take hits like a champ; attacking his friends was a whole ass nother matter. At least Sam catches Tuck with some vines as he starts falling down from the ceiling and Tuck wasn’t knocked out by the attack.

Still though. Danny is none too impressed. And he refuses to tolerate a repeat of that, so just as the orange haired friend hurting asshat gets herself up off of the ground Danny lets himself loose more than a little bit. Limbs extending, spines pulling up out of his upper back and shoulders, second set of kudu horns extending out, ribs cracking and expanding through and over his torso skin to settle into a bigger form, that stupid gharial crocodile skull boiling and forming out of and off of his head; him all but shoving orange hair back into the ground and pinning her there with a single hand. Slamming the other hand down near her face, using a foot to keep the Salient guy pinned. Danny snarling, snout opening right over the mages face, “shoot at me all you want but you don’t get to hurt what’s mine”.

Tuck’s shaking off all that holy power, grumbling about stupid trigger happy adventurers as if he wasn’t one himself and stomps over to fucking shoot orange hair in the face with some sand; her unable to do anything about it because of Danny.

Salient muttering, “holy fucking shit, goddamn”. While Sam stops over to him, Sam smacking Danny’s ankle, “give over your license, you demonic horror”. Danny huffing out an icy breath in orange hairs face, moving his tail to use the many little quill hair spines on it to grab out his license from his torso inside his ribs, slipping it into her hands, “thank you”, she shoves the license in the probable warriors face, “see? Adventurer. You really think Clementine would approve him without goddamn checking him and his bullshit out?”.

He grunts from under Danny’s foot, “fair ‘nough. You tryin’ to crush me here?”.

Danny huffing another icy breath, “maybe”. Sam smacks his ankle again so Danny, with a shrug, lifts up his foot and lets the guy up. Danny thinks some mild crushing is totally deserved in this case, even if that was maybe influenced by these guys hurting his friends and making him feel all possessive and shit. Demon crap could be so annoying; being in this hot ass place only making it more annoying.

Salient rolls over and sits up, rolling his shoulders, “ow yeah, definitely not a spawn, damn”, eyeing himself over, “aw man, you cracked my shoulder pad. License doesn’t look fake though so”, looking up at Danny, “bad ass ability though”.

Danny tilts his skull head at the guy before looking back down to orange hair, “you gonna keep trying to annihilate me?”.

“You’re a demon”.

“And?”, lifting the hand that isn’t pinning her and waving it around dismissively, “it’s only a by half thing anyway”.

Tuck chuckling down at her, “need I point out that Danny could absolutely just crush you right now? Yeah, okay, so he’s sorta a demon, and sorta dead and not dead, but he’s not confined to a dungeon or Hell and he’s an adventurer. adventurers run into weird shit all the time, it’s not his fault he is the weird shit”. The girl glares but sighs, clearly giving up, so Danny basically forces himself to compact, puffing icy steam everywhere. Tuck grinning, “so dramatic”.

Danny pointing a normal standard human length clawed finger in the guys face, “hey, if there’s one thing I do well, besides confusing people and myself, it is dramatics”; if he was gonna be stuck as some weird dead but not dead, from the afterlife Hell but not from Hell, then he can be an overdramatic asshole about it.

Orange hair gets up immediately and moves over to the still unconscious ex-hat mage, muttering, “good, they didn’t poison her or anything. Damn demon worshipers”. Oh for fucks sake, was it really that hard to understand that he was a good guy and just a weird but typical adventurer? Ugh. Plus! He’s definitely a higher rank than her, so rude.

Salient standing up and shaking himself off, shouting at his teammate, “Lily good?”; nice, Danny’s got another name.

Orange hair sighs, “yeah. They didn’t do anything to her besides knock her out”. Oh everyone’s a critic.

Danny rolling his eyes and huffing, “you say that like you guys weren’t trying to fucking destroy me. Again, you gonna keep doing that shit? ‘Cause I’m positive all three of us outrank you guys, we just don’t exactly want to start having to fucking kill people just because people keep thinking I’m a me damned dungeon monster”.

Sam shaking her head and moving to be over by Tuck and Danny, “at least they didn’t think you were the dungeon boss this time”.

“Oh Hell that had been such a pain”.

Salient chuckles and looks at him, “you make a lot of ‘Hell’ comments and shit”.

Danny shrugging with a smirk, “hey if I’ve gotta be slightly, vaguely, hell bound then I might as well take the piss outta it”.

Orange hair glaring at Salient, “seriously? You’re making friendly with it now?”.

Danny pouts, “hey, rude much”. While Sam and Tuck laugh at him meanly.

Salient shoves her, “chill, aren’t adventurers supposed to at least try to get along. At least he’s not another psycho paladin who's just using his god as an excuse to commit way too much murder”.

Danny’s entire little party nodding, “yeah fuck paladins”. Earning them a scowl from orange hair, “we all know why you demon-lovers wouldn’t like paladins”.

Then Lily groans a little, sitting up and holding her head, “well at least I’m alive”.

Danny snorting, “yeah I have a thing against committing murder”.

“That is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard a demon say”.

Danny pouts at her. He gets that demons have a terrible rap, an earned terrible rap, but cut a guy some slack will ya? It would be so nice if he could shapeshift to look fully human, he bets that in some other universe he definitely could and he is jealous of that version of him. Stupid fucker probably got all the super sneaky useful abilities. Like being able to turn invisible or something, that would have been so useful today. Ugh.

Lily looking to her party members, “so care to explain what’s going on here?”.

“Demon dude is a legit adventurer, licensed and everything”.

Orange hair just grumbles incomprehensibly.

Sam crossing her arms at the three, “I’m Sam, platinum rank herbalist and green mage. The one with the crossbow is Tucker, silver rank earth mage and gear smith. And the half demon, that you are to stop attacking, is Danny, obsidian rank combat warrior as already mentioned; he’s also a weapons smith and death magic apprentice. Yes he’s a resurrection spell gone wrong, he did it to himself somehow, but people screw up spells all the time so whatever”.

Danny shrugging, “I mean, typically they don’t screw up so impressively they fuck up half their genetic species but yeah”; Sam swats him one, expertly avoiding the horns.

Salient snorts, “you’re a death magic apprentice and you made your self half dead? WOW you suck”.

“Hey!”, Danny puts a hand to his chest, “technically it’s useful, this way I can actually go to one of the death planes now without slowly dying”.

Lily shakes her head disbelievingly, “ridiculous and inane”, gesturing at herself, “Lily, steel rank lightning high mage”, gesturing at Salient, “Salient, silver rank knight”, gesturing at orange hair, “Gemine, iron rank white mage and apprentice priestess”. Tilting her head, “why is an obsidian with a platinum and a silver? He’s three and four ranks above you two respectively?”.

Danny waves her off immediately, “eh, I was gold before the demon shit fucked my shit up. And I am the leader so it’s not that odd”. Sam nodding, “if anything it’s weirder that an iron is travelling with a silver”.

Gemine scowling, muttering to herself, “of course the demon is the leader, disgusting”. Lily cuffs her over the head, making the girl pout. Lily nodding, “demons are more powerful than the living so I suppose that is logical, and a lower rank priestess will best any higher rank warrior”, glancing around, “where’s my hat?”.

Sam and Tuck stare at Danny judgingly, him rubbing his neck, “I ate it?”; it was a heat of the moment thing okay! He makes really dumb decision when he’s put on the spot!

Salient nodding with a smirk, “yeah, it was pretty weird”.

Danny pouting, “I’m not paying you back for it”, twitching, “and can we get the fuck out of this hot ass place already?”, looking at Sam and Tuck, “if you found nothing good I’m gonna be so annoyed”. Sam rolling her eyes and digging in her bag, pulling out a little unassigned demon core. Yum! Him brightening up immediately, “oh nice! This was so worth getting shot by holy bullets!”.

“Danny!”.

“Dude what!”.

Danny grabbing the core and biting into it, much to the disgust of his unwitting onlookers, “eh it was just a shoulder nick and I am literally covered in lava and holy light burns so that’s kinda not what I’m focused on”. Basically dumping the demonic energy down his gullet with a happy purr.

Salient pulling a face, “wow that is disgusting, awesome”. Lily sighs tiredly before gesturing at Danny’s party, “so are we good to just go our separate ways?”. Danny’s down for that, his burns were healing much better now even if he was still hot as hell.

Sam crossing her arms, “depends on if you’re going to keep harassing Danny”; Danny’s just content to lick his chops in demonic satisfaction. Gemine pouting, “I won’t be able to vanquish him so fine, I won’t”.

Danny giving her a thumbs up, “that’s the spirit, now let’s get the hell outta this furnace before my core decides I deserve to over heat”. Sam and Tuck roll their eyes at him and laugh, Tuck patting his shoulder as they all turn to wander off to the exit. The other party of adventurers awkwardly heading deeper into the dungeon.

Danny stretching a little, going all demon always made him feel like his bones were all fucked up and needed a stretching, “so find anything else?”.

“Lightning bolt in a bottle”.

“Bone dagger. Lots of bone daggers”.

“Oh and a whole ass dragon hide, it’s in the dimensional pocket”.

“We did put all the random gem stones in there too right”.

“Uh…”.

“Damn it, Tucker”.

Danny laughs to himself, shaking his head. This day was some bullshit but at least they didn’t leave empty handed, and wasn’t finding treasure and getting to throw fist-a-cuffs the whole point of being an adventurer? Even if he’d rather be beating up dungeon monsters than constantly having to duke it out with other adventurers.

---

Of course they don’t even make it a full day before running into the very same party. At least this time they’re at the adventurers guild so there’s no way he’s gonna get attacked again.

Gemine blinking at Danny, “so you actually can leave the dungeon”.

Danny rolling his eyes, “yeah it’s almost like I was telling the truth or something”. Hell, he seldom lied about shit, people just thought it was all too ridiculous to be true.

Lily looks to the desk lady, quirking an eyebrow then gesturing at the demon in the room. Juhe blinking and smiling, understanding quickly, “yes the demon is welcome here, yes he’s an adventurer, no you’re not allowed to vanquish him, and no he’s not mind controlling anyone”.

Salient chuckles, putting a hand on his hip, “wow it sounds like this happens a lot”. Tuck shaking his head, “you have no idea”; before Sam goes up to make their report to the guild master. Technically Danny’s supposed to do that, being the leader and all, but head office had a barrier around it and they refused to take it down just for Danny’s sorry ass, meaning compromises were made.

Danny nodding at the guy, “anytime we go into a dungeon and run into a party that hasn’t met me before, it turns into a fight”, rubbing his neck, “which has earned me the title of adventurers bane since I keep basically having to beat down adventurers until they give up”.

Juhe nodding, “and he helps out the enforcers sometimes, since he can be quite the intimidating presence”.

“Boo, having a demonic aura isn’t my fault, and if just a simple demonic aura is enough to scare someone they probably shouldn’t be an adventurer”.

“You forget most adventurers do gathering quests and less dangerous dungeons”.

“Pah!”.

“You also forget that your demonic aura is that of a demon lord not a simple spawn or lesser demon”.

Danny’s only response to that is a pout.

Lily had been about to go up and make her own report, one foot stopping in midair, “that one is… a demon lord?”, and looks very concerned at Danny. While Salient grins to himself, “sweet, I got to fight a demon lord. Man that’s cool”.

Danny blinks, shrugging, “I was a wee bit miffed about suddenly being very literally in hell one time, not the time I fucked my resurrection up, and went demon killing happy. Two might have been demon lords and one was definitely a death god”.

All three look at him in shock, horror, or looking just plan impressed in Salient’s case. Lily shaking her head, “alright, you very well could have annihilated us”.

Johe glancing at some paperwork, “you three are silver, steel, and iron? Yes, you would not have stood a chance if taken seriously by him. He’s officially listed as obsidian, but he’s closer to iridium, which still stands as our highest class”.

Danny blushing, “aw shucks”.

“Don’t you ‘aw shucks’ me, if you’re that flattered then stop leaving your tail quills in the lobby wall”.

“Hey! It has a mind of its own”.

“It’s still attached to you, ain’t it?”.

Danny pouts at her, tail twitching near the ground, he’s half tempted to stab the wall with it just to be petty. He did petty very very well after all.

Lily shakes herself before finally going up to give her report; Danny absolutely hearing Sam whisper a threat at her, “Danny’s a lot nicer than the rest of us, don’t pull that shit with him again or else I won’t hesitate using a mind vine to make you break your party members”, as they pass in the stairway. He makes a point to roll his eyes disappointedly at her when she makes it down fully.

His friends were great but so over protective and possessive of him, it was nice but also a pain. She rolls her eyes right back at him as the three of them head out, waving bye to Salient and Gamine as more of a form of pleasantries than genuine fond fair-wells or whatever. They ain’t friends and weren’t gonna suddenly become them, something Danny was frankly fully uninterested in. He had his Sam and Tuck and was definitely not interested in sharing them.

End.

Prompts: Fantasy/rpg setting. Danny died, but the resurrection spell went wrong, and now he’s trapped as something not quite dead but not fully alive either. Not that he’d ever let that stop him from becoming an adventurer, even if he does get mistaken as a resident dungeon monster by other adventuring parties every now and then… Demon!au

#danny phantom #phandom #phic phight #danny fenton #tucker foley #sam manson #my writing #have a fic suck my dick #phantomphangphucker #phicphight24 #phic phight 24 #gothmoth #demon!au #rpg!au #fantasy!au #op danny #bamf danny

[gravitycavity]

[Preview] ☀️ Sunshine (Pomni x Ragatha) Chapter 6

[Click here to read from the beginning on AO3!]

Ragatha drifted away from the cozy embrace, warm breath shuddering in sync with the rest of her body. Her good eye peeked open — just a crack. Her hands turned slack and listless. One-by-one, her bulky fingers lost their grip on Pomni’s tunic until, at last, the ragdoll felt herself falling. 

Pomni caught her, of course — Ragatha knew she would. 

Safe and secure in the arms of her darling, the dolly pulled her legs toward her core, making herself small as her eyes dragged all the way open. It had felt like an eternity since she’d last laid her eyes upon her dashing knight, and she couldn’t stand to wait a single second more.

She was just that beautiful. 

Pomni’s hesitant smile, framed by her perennial blush, regarded Ragatha from high above. Ragatha’s face bloomed to match it. The jester brightened, too. Back and forth they went, reflecting the other’s expression until each woman’s face had been sculpted into a mask of pure radiance.

“...So?” Pomni beamed. A hint of pride had snuck into her grin while Ragatha wasn’t looking, “How was that?”

Wonderful. Absolutely, unbelievably, impossibly wonderful. Never before had Ragatha felt this kind of rush — her head fuzzy, her limbs tingling, her heart beating so quickly that it actually hurt. 

If any of her past romantic rendezvous were any indication, Ragatha had been sure that all those romance novels had been exaggerating. She didn’t think it was actually possible to become breathless at the mere thought of another person. She didn’t think the sight of a single pair of eyes could actually make the whole world cease to exist — yet here she was, cuddled up in the arms of another, stupidly in love. 

But there was no chance in hell she’d actually say any of that sickeningly-saccharine fluff out loud, of course. Goodness gracious, could you imagine? No, Ragatha’s love language was a little bit more subtle than that — and, contrary to her usual personality, a little bit meaner, too. 

“Hmph.” Ragatha crossed her arms, pointing her face toward the wall. She pursed her lips to conceal a sly smile. “Just as I suspected…”

Pomni’s newfound confidence cracked just like that, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing. Just…” Ragatha teased, spinning her ankle, “Oh, nevermind.”

“Nevermind!? You can’t just say that!”

“I just did.”

“Ragatha!” Pomni fumed, “Tell me!” 

“Alright, if you insist,” Ragatha pretended to force out a hard sigh, barely able to contain her boisterous laughter. Good lord, teasing this girl would never, ever get old. “Don’t get me wrong. Kissing you was a dream come true, but,” she paused, “and please don’t take this the wrong way—”

“Spit it out, already!”

“— you aren’t a very good kisser.”

Pomni's whole body thrashed backward; her face was fully boiled. “WH-WHAT?!”

“Sorry, to burst your bubble, Sweetheart, but I’m too nice to lie to you. That was pretty bad.” Ragatha smirked, seizing hold of Pomni’s tunic once again. She pulled herself in, utterly captivated by the nervous panic spreading across the jester’s face. “Looks like I have a lot to teach you…”

“W-Well…!” Pomni squirmed in place, sweat beading on her brow, “You are pretty good at that! T-T-T-Teaching, I mean…”

“Yeah?” Ragatha laid down a trio of smooches on Pomni’s cheek, giggling all the while. “So I’ve been told~”

“Y-Yeah…!” Pomni clumsily nodded. Eventually, at the end of a long, winding stream of swallowing, stammering, and shuddering, the awkward young woman finally found her words. “So, um,” Her voice was small, and shrinking by the second,  “maybe, if it’s okay with you, you could sh-show me the right way? Using that special teaching method of yours…?” 

Ragatha blinked. “Special teaching method?”

“You know! Your, um…” the heat radiating off of Pomni’s face nearly fogged up the ballroom’s grandiose windows, “...hands-on approach?” 

---

Thank you for your patience! I'm working hard on chapter 6. Tell me what you think of the preview! :)

[Click here to read from the beginning on AO3!]

#pomni x ragatha #ragatha x pomni #ragapom #buttonblossom #jesterdoll #pomnitha #the amazing digital circus #tadc fanfiction #tadc sunshine #pomni #lesbian #tdac pomni #tadc fic

[laurikarauchscat]

Emhyr wakes up to a hangover from hell and a blaring cellphone, and immediately wishes for death. He is feeling absolutely shit.

He has to keep an arm over his face as he reaches for the phone blindly.

“Hello,” he croaks.

“...It’s 11 in the morning.” Geralt says on the other side, in lieu of greeting like a normal fucking person. 

“What do you want?”

“Are you home? Ciri said you had a work thing last night, and if I just woke you up-”

“I’m home. Does Cirilla need a change of clothing?” He had told his obstinate child the weather would be too warm for winter wear this weekend, but her head was quite hard. If he was feeling slightly better he might be feeling vindicated at this moment. 

“Yeah. I'll be over in fifteen.”

___

Emhyr is waiting on the porch as Geralt finally makes his appearance. He had barely made it to his position at the top of the steps, and was just contemplating attempting the descent when he catches Geralt’s judgemental expression through the windshield. Fuck that, he decides, as he plops the bag of clothes down next to him, resolved to make Mr Well Adjusted climb up the stairs his goddamned self if he wants to be super dad so bad. 

He is well aware of what he must look like in that moment, but he is quite convinced that Geralt should be grateful he has at least managed to greet him freshly showered (he’d spent ten minutes under the water leaning with his head against the wall), with a towel around his waist and a bathrobe on his back. 

As Geralt comes sauntering up the driveway, looking mean and fit and totally sober, Emhyr takes a fortifying drag of his cigarette. He has to close his eyes as he expels the smoke, since the sight of the rapidly moving white particles past his face might just have him give in to the temptation to ruin Geralt’s day by vomiting all over him. 

“Ciri said you quit.” the dickhead rumbles. 

“It shall be our little secret.” Emhyr answers in the most condescending tone he can manage in his impaired state. He points to the bag at his feet, and is rewarded by a flash of irritation on Geralt’s face. 

As the other man stomps up the steps, Emhyr experiences a moment of regret for not just tossing the bag at him, when he sees Mr Fitness' eyes linger on his soft belly. Instead, he affects the unbothered, and leans his arm on the banister next to him, trying his best to look self assured despite still very much feeling like shit. He maintains the pose until Geralt gets back into his hideously dilapidated vehicle.

__

In the perfectly serviceable and actually quite well maintained truck, Geralt frantically reaches for his cellphone as he takes up his place behind the wheel. He struggles to pull his eyes away from the half naked man now sashaying to the porch couch to drape himself over it, porno style. 

“Yen,” he says, as the woman in question picks up his call, “I swear to GOD Emhyr is trying to seduce me. Can you believe that!!??”

#traditional art #the witcher fanart #the witcher 3 #the witcher #emhyr var emreis #emhyr #duny #emperor emhyr #modern au #witcher au #Geralt #geralt of rivia #emhyr x geralt #geralt z rivii #witcher geralt #Emhyr: suffering and miserable #Geralt: “Thats hot” #Geralt is me coded fr #witcher fanart #Witcher art #witcher fanfiction #Witcher fic

[johnconstantinesdick]

I’m thinking about my Big Three kid swap au (Nico is the prophecy child, Percy is a willow tree, and Thalia is caught in the Lotus Casino) again and specifically Percy is so funny to me. Turns into a tree when he has a found family daughter and almost-boyfriend and wakes up as a a single mother divorcee.

Percy is consistently bringing unhinged domestic spat energy to every confrontation. It’s a full on soap opera. The gods love it. Luke’s troops keep losing respect for him.

Percy kept aging while he was a tree (since we can’t have him join the Hunt) and everyone agrees he’s not the Prophecy Child because he’s fully twenty-something already. So he has no other obligations except conspiring with Annabeth to drag Luke kicking and screaming back home.

Percy keeps referring obliquely to “the divorce” which is very funny but confuses everyone around him. Multiple times he distracts monsters or Titan army demigods by complaining about his “failing marriage” and how “taking care of a kid alone is so hard, you know? I’m not even getting child support!”. Everyone comes out of the conversation sympathetic to the poor guy. Every once in a while Percy adds new lore to see the way Luke’s eye twitches. Luke is not coping well with the judgmental looks, side-eyes, and earnest advice about how to save a marriage. Annabeth keeps getting kidnapped by Luke’s cronies because they very earnestly believe she should get to spend some more time with her other dad.

Every Saturday there’s a truce where all three of them tensely eat cookies in Sally Jackson’s living room. No one has the guts to tell her they’re on opposite sides of a war. Luke tries to turn the tables one (1) time and ask her how she would feel about Percy getting married. Sally’s answer is so heartfelt and genuinely happy that Luke cries alone in his golden sarcophagus later and he never brings it up again. Percy’s smug look goes entirely unnoticed except by Annabeth.

#Percy just likes to eat hot (blue) chip and lie. like any good bisexual. #he’s running the camps propaganda effort all on his own. no one else appreciates it. it’s all ‘why are you fraternizing with the enemy’ and #‘stop telling people you’re married’ and ‘are you trying to babytrap a guy in his twenties with your thirteen year old friend as the baby’ #this man’s fatal flaw is loyalty. as long as there’s a slight chance that Luke might come home Percy is going to keep fighting like hell. #combined with Annabeth’s fatal flaw being pride? the two of them are absolutely assured of their plans. nothing can go wrong. #in the end. well. Nico has ghost powers. banishing a titan from someone’s body is basically an exorcism. #also Percy has successfully gaslit Hermes into thinking he gave his blessing for the marriage so when he drags Luke back to camp after the #war that’s BASICALLY a bridal kidnapping. he’s just connecting with his Greek roots! #pjo #riordanverse #eli writes #eli rambles

[xxcherrycherixx]

felt like sketching in an anime style because yes i was a anime kid growing up, and yes i did use to only draw in anime styles which probably negatively affected my art progress-

#asumi has absolutely dragged me back into anime and manga hell rn #the art is just so pretty! the girls are always so cute!! #my art #ever after high #c.a cupid

[1dont-really-know]

I subscribe to the theory that Maleanor is trapped in the Dark Mirror mostly because it would be Very Funny in a dark way

#especially if Malva goes to NRC as a student #Malleus needs to be sorted? okay keep calm Maleanor the boy's all grown up now and– #Lilia? he looks very different #but it looks like he raised Malleus well #and whos next– #MALVA?? WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE PLAYING WITH YOUR PLANTS OR SOME SHIT #because I KNOW as an older sister myself that if my sister who said she would have to be dragged away from her work kicking and screaming #suddenly appears and goes back to school out of her own volition #and not even to learn new things #I would DEFINITELY troll the hell out of her like #“hmm... this soul is strange... like it belongs to an ABSOLUTE FUCKING LOSER”

[retro-system]

scrolling the toontown tag is scaryyy i dont know who these guys are i havent played since like 2021 😭

#i'd absolutely pick ttcc back up tho it looks cool as hell these days #not so fussed about ttr. i've already beaten the ceo before i see no point in spending weeks/months grinding again on a different toon #im not dragging my barely-clinging-to-life laptop back from the grave tho i'll pick it up again once i get a new pc #anyway the new guys look so cool im so glad the toonblr community has come together to blorboify them <3

[tariah23]

They’re calling my baby Gojo, Joseph Joestar now

#rambling #the diff is that Gojo did apologize after being called out and face to face with his racism whilst Joseph literally befriended nazi’s 😵‍💫 #and there was never any explanation from araki as to why he’d even wrote German soldiers in the shit in the first place like that was #absolutely jarring as hell to read for the very first time back when I’d gotten into jjba #well I watched it first but you know #like Joseph really thought fondly of Stroheim as this stand up guy even though he’s first of all #a Nazi #and second #the first scene that we were introduced to was of him sexually harassing a Woman #it’s……. 🗿 #still to this day I wonder if araki had ever addressed this because lord #Joseph was just happy to get the help I guess but that felt so ooc for him from what he’d seen 🗣️ #happily receiving the help of a Nazi and calling them a nice guy ahhh Joseph- #Gojo would never sjjsaj #my boo boo is a little prejudice but he’s working on it 🗣️ #I still think that gege was trying to have a ‘racism is bad’ moment but again #the execution was pretty awkward and it felt out of place considering what had been currently going down in the manga #like the Racism was pretty random but it was swiftly put to a stop which I can appreciate even if it shouldn’t have been a point of #conversation to begin with since why couldn’t Miguel just exist as a character instead of him being the now token negro #who everyone sees as instantly more frighteningly powerful than everyone else like this didn’t even need to be brought up wllssldk #idk gege was trying to be ‘woke’ 😭. sorry nbs and wp ruined the term for me but like basically lol #gojo’s pretty intelligent and extremely gifted but he’s never been perfect lol #it’s just that idk why gege chose to talk about antiblackness in Japan out of nowhere about the only black character on screen hehhhhhh #like gege tried but lmfao #this is so funny to me #at least it didn’t drag on putting Miguel in an even more awkward situation than he already was and it was nipped in the bud quickly #Gojo isn’t one to dwell on things but when he’s face with new information and is taught something he does try to reflect and do better and #I’m sure he probably started to become even more aware of what he’s saying especially when talking to Miguel in an honest way since that’s #always been the kind of character who he was despite the horrors #the only ppl who’ve been kinda annoying about this are nbs and white people as always 🗿

[autistic-shaiapouf]

It's 11pm so I know this is influencing my feelings but. make it make sense, no one in this household has beef with me bc 1) I'm never home and 2) I ingratiate myself with everyone so everyone thinks I'm on their side, when in actuality I can't stand any of them. What I am witnessing has me developing more bitterness for other people than my year and a half of customer service has done. Not one person here has a functioning brain and yet expect me to feel pity. To reach out.

Leave.

#i am metaphorically taking a drag from a cigarette. god. god. #i don't purposefully play nice with everyone; im just kind of laid back; you know what i dont think i wanna be everyone's friend #i am becoming everyone's savior and i am becoming increasingly embittered by it #I'm just. tired. i was gonna stick this in my drafts and call it a night but i think i want this out in public actually #this is the equivalent of yelling at a wall with neighbors on the other side. one roommate got the cops involved against the other #you know. maybe magnolia is right. maybe i should be allowed to attack someone rabid animal style. #manifestinggggggggggg the pleasant dissociation from the increasingly strained environment here. please. #let it go past me. uncaring. unbothered. absolutely flourishing. roasting a smore over the flames of hell. that's what it's all about #turning this into a growth moment. something like that. #shai speaks #have been listening to take care as I've been typing and ngl it's helping me feel a little more calmed down lmao

[fratboykate]

She’s dating a homophobe so we gotta make Kate/yelena like extra gay. Let’s wife them both up so hard

What's a "Kate"? Don't know it lol

But jokes aside, the fact that y'all continue to support women who keep getting in bed with THE worst men just because you "stan" them is why we're going to get absolutely fucked by those who want us dead or back in the closet. You'll keep being lulled by these folks while the people in power strip our rights piece by piece. Like...that purple album that came out yesterday should've gotten ZERO streams. At least not from anyone who isn't a straigt white conservative. No one with a brain should've talked about it after who that woman has knowingly dated...TWICE. But instead I've seen endless videos of POC and queer people who still swear she's secretly gay hosting listening parties and singing the songs. These celebs know they can do whatever they want and you're going to keep giving them your time, attention, and hard earned money no matter what so, why change or even hide who they really are at this point? It's genuinely a bummer. Y'all are super into "accountability" and bring out the "dragging"/"canceling" energy for the dumbest shit. But when it actually involves your fave??? Nowhere to be found.

#rants #celebrity worship and stan culture is brain poison #like another clear example is Keke in all of the discourse that's come out I haven't seen ONE person 'Hmmmm wait a minute' #you think they pulled all of those receipts of him being an antiblack trabsphibic misogynyst #and that this man didn't say ANYYYY of those things in front of Keke once??? that she didn't know who he was??? that he had a kid with him?? #like...absolutely drag him to hell and back because he's a piece of shit but she's getting off too clean here #even if these women don't say these things out loud...they sit in rooms where their men say this shit with their whole chests #and continue to be with them #that makes them complicit #there's literally no excuse #but not one person is questioning why she was with this man for years??? unbelievable #even if you are 'someone who doesn't believe those things' #if you can put your moral/ethical compass aside for some dick you're NOT a good person #if you can fall in love with someone who believes and says those things out loud you're NOT a good person #but y'alls ability to look past shit is incredible #incredibly embarrasing I mean #if I wasn't so lazy I'd change my url because 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 #anonymous #answers

[githvyrik]

I literally hate hate hate when people view stories entirely on a logical level like when people are like “the conflict in this story doesn’t entirely make logical sense” which like yeah sometimes that’s totally a fair criticism but so many times I’ve seen lately it’s like. yeah it’s a narrative device dude it’s a metaphor

#@ people saying the society in the hunger games doesn’t work…………. yeah. the series is kind of about how it doesn’t work my guy #or people saying zariel condemning elturel in dia doesn’t ‘make sense’ it’s like #it’s a metaphor dude. the story is about redemption and retribution and at what point is either reasonable/justifiable/possible #elturel represents her anger at (in her eyes) their betrayal and like. you can explore a) how much of that anger is justified #b) how much of the results of her anger impact at what point she may be beyond redemption #c) how much the betrayal of the hellriders was really a betrayal or if it was the decision to ditch a doomed mission #of mortals spurred on by the wrath of a zealous otherworldly being #d) zariel feeling betrayed by elturel in general for buying the lies and leaving her to her fate #e) etc etc etc ohmygod it’s a METAPHOR you can use it for WHATEVER YOU WANT #f) OH YOU CAN ALSO USE IT TO BE HOW CORRUPT LEADERSHIP SLOWLY CONDEMNS WHOLE CIVILIZATIONS TO RUIN #like yeah maybe elturel being dragged down slowly instead of all at once doesn’t make logical sense #but it makes sense on an emotional and metaphorical level #if you run it right. unfortunately a lot of people don’t really get what a lot of stuff in the adventure is meant to do #and part of that is the book’s fault tbh. it spends a lot of time that it could’ve spent fleshing out the meat of the story #fleshing out baldur’s gate. like literally almost the entire back third of the book (it honestly feels like half) #is spent delving into the intricacies in baldur’s gate #which like. the material itself isn’t bad. it’s really good for running stuff set in baldur’s gate #but in descent into avernus that encompasses the first like. 5 levels. #and they’re important! they can absolutely be used to build upon the themes of the game #(I decided to skip it bc I figured my players would rather get to hell and honestly. the bg part is kinda tough. maybe doable but tough) #but my god they did NOT need to expand it THAT much omg #wow this got off topic. anyway #ANYWAYS while I’m analyzing descent into avernus it’s also about how evil is self defeating but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try #to defeat it anyway #zariel wasn’t necessarily wrong to want to join the blood war but she fell because she chose the ‘what’ over the ‘why’ #it’s also about regret.

[wordsinhaled]

#i don’t care about this film at all and haven’t even seen it but the score absolutely destroys my entire life and drags me to hell and back #abel korzeniowski you absolute MENACE!!!!!! fuck #music #like is this a good film? it better be to deserve this scoring #i am a wreck