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#and after graduation they kept hyping her up n stuff and they did none of that for me ☹️
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Pride Month Prompt 3/30: First Date
Fandom: Dear Even Hansen
Relationship: Jarsen
Notes: okay so this one is late because I spent yesterday in the ER so......don’t kill me.
More Notes: This is post Connor project. Even has finally saved enough for his first semester of college and finds a familiar but unhappy face in the mix with his four roommates. Tyler, and Mathew are  just made up, so yeah. This will be a little longer than most of most. Jared is really going to hate his guts for a while and Even will just take the beating. Headcannon  neither of them know they were set up for their first date.
Prompt: First Date
Pov: 1st Even Hansen
Life had fallen semi-back into place, after the hype of the Connor Project died down. The Murphy’s didn’t say anything about me writing Connor’s “suicide” note, so there was minimum backlash, on that respect.
The Murphy’s of course pretended that I was the one who died. Alana refused to look at me, and Jared didn’t even attempt to say anything, not even to save his car insurance. But, being alone was just how things were, before and after Connor’s fake relationship with me.
so, once again I was a blip on the radar of high school, I started taking my medication again and saw the therapist more often and thankfully stopped writing those “Dear Even Hansen” letters.
Honestly, the whole Connor debacle  made high school easier. Not because I was more than just a nameless face oe even because people even acknowledged me. No....it was because, once the lie came out to the people who needed to hear it, I didnt have to keep lying.
Now, that didn't curb my anxiety or make graduating any easier, but once I moved to college. the Connor Project was a tiny memory in my rattling brain.
Connor Murphy on the other hand would always have a special place in my brain and heart.
Mom had just dropped me off at the round about near the entrance of my dorm.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come up?”
The red flags were flaring, but I shakily declined.
“love you, mom.”
“Love you too, honey.”
as she drove away, I could feel my nervousness rush past the thresh hold to straight on anxiety. The my dorm had maybe 9 stories and it was in the midst of a circle of equally tall buildings.
“Ho boy.”
I didn’t have to bring much up, so I carried my two boxes to the entrance to Sycamore Hall (I was so happy the halls were all named after trees or plants). I had gotten my key already, I waited in the ridiculous line for the elevator, which was a mistake considering everyone was using the single elevator. 
After what felt like hours, I made it to Level 3 and carefully walked through the throng of excited freshman. My room was in the middle of the hall  312. On the door was 4 cut outs of fruit. Cherry was for Mathew, Melon for Tyler, Lemon for Jared and an Apple for me. I hadn’t actually met my roommates, so this was going to be yet another ordeal.
I take a breathe and kick the door considering my hands were full.
“Door’s open.” a guy calls out.
I stare at the door trying to figure out what to do. i stand there flustered until after maybe five minutes the door swings open.
“Jared, this better not be you.....oh, hey you must be Even.”
“I.....um....y-yes.”
He smiles taking the boxes from me, “Sorry about that, I thought you were fucking Jared, being a dick. i’m Mathew Trime. You’ll be my bunk mate.”
He carries my stuff through an open room leading off to four others. Two had doors, one was obviously a bathroom and the other rooms. Matthew lead me to the far room that was covered in boxes, and had two beds.
“I already pick this bed, if that’s chill with you?”
“Oh, um, yes.”
“Yo, Tyler. Get your ass away from that game and meet Even...um what’s your last name?”
“Um, H-Hansen.”
“Even Hansen.”
Some one comes running ad a racially mixed lanky guy ran in, “Hansen....Even Hansen from the Connor Project.”
I felt myself panicking, “Um......yes.”
“Dude, that speech you gave was awesome. I donated like 100 dollars.”
Matthew laughed, “ of your sisters sweet 16 money.”
Tyler pouted, “I payed her back.”
They busted up, and i played with the hem of rmy shirt. “So, you know each other?”
They nodded, “Since like four years ago. Freshman entrance exams.”
“This guys nearly got caught cheating.” Tyler said laughing.
“Emphasis on nearly.”
I felt like I might have just made a good impression, but I honestly couldn’t tell. I was going to say something, but the door busted open.
“Sup, dickwads! Brought some food. Am I best or am I.”
“Uh Yeah, who do you takes us for Jared.”
They ran out and I peeked out of my room and my heart stopped. Despite barely seeing and not speaking for almost a year hey looked the same. Same glasses and short stocky build. Same goofy and sin filled smile.
I back up and felt like crying.
“Yo, Jared our last room mate is here. Even....um....”
“Hansen.” Matthew said with his mouth full.
“Wait....” Jared whispered.
The jig was up and I peeked out. “H-Hi.....Jared.”
HIs eyes narrowed, “I guess the rat comes out of hiding. wait you’re worse than a rat.”
Tyler looked worried, “You guys knew each other?”
Jared scoffed, “I guess that’s a way to put it.”
“Jared.....I’m......s-so-”
He cut me off storming to his room and slamming the door.
Tyler, “Yo, don’t touch my game.”
“What was that about.”
But, Even was already imploding, then exploding, then imploding again. He couldn’t breath to the point his vision had black spots. He tried to spit something out, but ind=stead he just ran. I ran through the hallway and just kept running til i literally tripped over my feet and fell.
“no no no this can’t be happening.”
I scrambled for the emergency anxiety pills in my pocket, even though it’s not recommended by his doctor. That was hen I realized that the little container was......empty.
“Of course. of fucking course.”
I looked around and found a bench to at least keep myself from falling to my knees.
“Breathe.....breathe.”
I tried my best to stop the hyperventilating and though it sorta worked, I debated calling my Mom to take me home. I couldn’t spend a year let alone a semester with Jared Kleinman. The guy I hurt so badly, who helped me lie to the world, to the Murphy’s.
I pulled my phone out and hovered over my Mom’s number, when I heard my name.
“Hansen!”
“Yo, Even.”
I look up and Tyler and Matthew were running towards me.”
“gG-Guys?”
“Hey, don’t worry. Jared told us you have some like.....anxiety thing or something. We came running.”
Wait.....Jared said that?
“Um......yeah. It’s um....s-social a-anxiety.”
Tyler sits down next to me, “Did you it have to with Jared.”
“What? No nonono, it’s......more than that.”
Matthew shrugged, “He didn’t say why either.”
Tyler offered me a hand and hauled me up, “Let’s go back. We gotta work this out. “
“Wait, wait, no.”
“Dude” Matthew laughed, “We’re going to be living together for the next like 5 month. you two can’t just aviod each other.”
They didn’t listen to my objections and dragged me back to room 312. Someone had torn off my apple, which i guessed who, but i didn’t hurt as much as me trying to apologize to Jared.
Tyler knocked on his door and Jared yelled, “Fuck off.”
“Jared it’s me. It’s my room too jackass.”
He groaned and opened the door. We walked inside and Matthew slammed the door closed not letting a way for escape.
“What the hell?” Jared and I said in unison.
“You two are going to hash things out and become tolerable roommates, until then, none of us are leaving.”
“No,” Jared said.
“Not an option.”
Jared kept fiddling with his computer and ignored us.
Matthew nudged me, whispering, “Go first.”
I gulped nervously he.had never said he was anything more than a “family” friend, but he was the he may closest thing he had and I realized this was my chance to do something. 
“Um.....J-J-Jared. Listen, I know what I did last y-year was super dickish a-a-and you have n-no reason to forgive me. I-I-I left you because I got something no one had ever given me.”
“And what I gave you wasn’t enough?”
“You always told me you only cared because of your stupid care insurance.”
“I was okay. But, you still cared even when I didn’t. And then you didn’t”
Ty heart broke, “But, you didn’t care.”
“Of course I did, dipshit. Why did you think I helped you fake all those emails? Or keep your secret.”
i tried to rebutle but Tyler stopped me, “You faked what emails?”
Jared frowned, “You didn’t tell them?”
“Jared we just met.”
“Well?”
“Ugh, I faked the Connor Project emails. I faked everything. Okay! Did you hear me Jared? Is that what you wanted?”
“Partly.”
“Wait wait wait, you faked them?”
I turned and Tyler looked angry.”
“No no no-well yes, but I only w-w-wanted to help the Murphy’s feel b-b-better about Connor. I just wanted t-to help. I didn’t m-m-mean for it to get out of hand. I didn’t want this.”
Tyler sighed, “I’ve been there.....i guess i just didn't think those rumors would be true.”
Matthew rubbed Tyler’s shoulder, “What does that have to do with Jared?”
“I was the one who wrote the emails.”
“And i called him friend less and stupid shit like that.”
“Whoa, Acorn, you swear?”
“Jared, I’m a 19 year old boy. of course i do. I just don’t vocalize it often.”
“Acorn?” Matthew chuckled.
“NOT important.”
Jared laughed. “I’ll tell you later, Ty.”
“Is that all? Have you guys made up? Can we go eat?”
Jared shook his head, “We’re not even. Thanks for trying to fix that bridge but you burnt it to ashes.”
He got up and shoved past the three of us and left.
“Worth a shot, right?”
“N-N-No.”
Jared continued to ignore me all through the first month of college which I should have expected since he did it for months before hand. Tyler and Matthew refused to take sides, and hung with both of us. College is much harder when someone who hates you lives literally 5 feet away. 
Classes were harder than high school, but not as bad as my messed up brain made it. Gen Eds consisted for of history, of the Americas 1800s to present calculus, macro biology, and art 101. I had lucked out and tested out of my language, which meant to public speaking for a while. 
I always came back to the dorm at 4:30 and hung out with the RA Cierra until she had class or til, one of roommates came back. I stayed up til 4 doing work or just absently tapping my at my desk, until Matthew begs me to stop.
The days fold into weeks and weeks melt into months and things are still rocky with Jared and I. Tyer gets the full story of the Connor project and surprisingly isn’t mad. He thought it was sorta valiant, me trying to make the family happy even though it wasn’t true and he thought it was awesome they put the money raised towards the Murphy’s and the orchard. Matthew didn’t really care, as long as I promised to be honest with him.
I thought my head might fall off with how vigorously I nodded.
After maybe two months, Jared finally came to dinners with the four of us, though he stayed far from me, but it was step.
“So, Jared, what’s school like?”
“We go to the same school, Ty.”
“Not the same classes, idiot.”
Jared starts talking about computer classes, computer design, and others adn i listen along with the others. He had always been a computer geek, gloating about his “mad skillz”. It was only inevitable that he created a career with it. 
“What about you Acorn?
The gaze turns on me and I grow red, “Oh....uuuh, things are f-f-fine. J-Just gens.”
“So are you undecided?” Matthew asks, biting into his pizza.
Jared laughs bitterly, “No he’s just not sure what classes or people he needs to trample to get where he wants.”
It felt like he just slapped me and Tyler punches him in the arm. BUt, instead of shrinking in, I’m fed up.
“What is your problem, Jared. What do you want me to do? I’ll move out, or something if you want. I don’t want you be mad at me. I tried to fix it. I told them. I told the Murphy’s, I told Zoe, I told everyone who would listen or believe me. What the fuck do you want?”
Jared stands up and pokes a finger in my chest, “I want you to remember that you had friends before the Murphy’s! I want a time machine to bring that into perspective.”
“You think Alana actually cared about me? She had her own agenda. You on the other hand kept telling me OVER AND OVER AND OVER that all you cared about was your car insurance!”
“You’re not the only only one who can lie EVEN! Did you ever think why I wanted to help you? Did you think of anyone besides yourself?”
“I thought about-”
“The Murphy’s that’s what you say. But. was that was just how you got to the top. You didn’t care about ANYONE. NOT EVEN YOUR OWN FUCKING MOTHER!!!!!”
The cafeteria goes quiet and I can feel the tears. My roommates including Jared look horrified.
Jared reaches forward, “Even....I’m-”
I push past him and run. I hear people calling me but i don’t care. I don’t know where to go, so I just keep running. I end up at the gigantic tree next the the bell tower. That’s when I let the anxiety overtake me.
It was like all of my worst days collide together into a spiral of panic. I look up into the tree and imagine that day over the summer. 
I let go and some days I wish I didn’t . That i could see the sky holding the branch with one hand......and then have it disappear. To disappear.
Instead, I lay under the tree and breathe in the sappy air. The tree was maple and it smelled that way. But, even if I wanted to die, even if i wanted to keep Connor company in heaven or hell or where ever he is, I don’t want to be a person that is remembered for my lie. 
“I.....only wanted the best.”
“I know.”
I jump up and scramble behind the tree, Jared was standing, hands in his pockets.”
“J-J-Jared?”
“Who else would know you would run to the first tree you found?”
“Right. So why are you h-h-here?”
Jared sits down and wipes his glasses, “I went to far. I shouldn’t have said anything about your family.”
“It’s fine. I deserved that much.”
Jared rolls his eyes, “Acorn please, you deserve a lot after the Connor incident, but what I said wasn’t one of them.”
“Ge, thanks.”
He shrugged, “’ts what I do.”
“Why’d you follow me?”
“Tyler gave me a look that could kill. And i wanted to apologize. I’ve been mad for no real reason anymore. You keep trying too make things better and you came clean-ish. It...just hurt.”
“What did?”
“You not caring about me.”
“But, you would always say-”
“I know what i said. I lied, you were the closest friend thing I had. I’m just too much of an ass to admit it. And when you did, I still didn’t want to admit it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I was a dick.”
I tried not to laugh, “Yeah, you were, but so was I.”
“Friends?”
“Just don’t do that again.”
“Can’t make any promises.”
We were pretty chill after that. Tyler fussed over me for days while Matthew gave Jared hell for being a dick, but things worked out. All four of us hung out and played games, studied and other college things. Until, Jared entered my room at like 2 am. His hair was messed up and fluff, he didn’t have his glasses on which was dare I say cute. 
“SO, Acorn Hansen.”
“Even.”
“Nope. Anyway, the guys are going to Chili’s tomorrow wanna come since none of us have classes?”
I shrug, “Maybe.”
“Not an answer.”
“Fine.”
“Sweet. Don’t stay up too long.”
That of course didn’t happen and when morning hit, I was exhausted but to scared to sleep, fearing I might miss the lunch. Matthew stirs away and I hear the bed creak.
“Even what are doing up still?”
“N-N-Nothing.”
“Even chill. You need sleep.”
“I didn’t want to miss the lunch.”
Matthew smiled, “You won’t. i’ll wake you up, kay.”
It wasn’t super reassuring but it had been a couple nights since I had slept so might as well. I woke up maybe an hour or two later to Jared and Tyler screaming about some game. I stumbled in rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“Yo sleeping beauty, is awake.”
“You look lovely, Acorn.”
I rolled my eyes, “Whatever. What time at Chili’s today?”
Tyler laughed playing Last of Us furiously, “In like two hours.’
“But, its still late?”
“Check your phone.” Jared sighed tapping away at buttons.
Sure enough it was around 9 am.
“What Matthew said he’d wake me up.”
“Dude, he tried. But, you were out. Jared even tried to give you a magical kiss.”
What.....
Jared turned pink, “I said not to tell him!!!”
Tyler smirked, “To good to pass up.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, “Wow.”
“Shut up, Acorn.”
We all pile into Tyler’s car and blared pop music singing like there was no tomorrow, and I was finally glad things had worked out. When Jared and I walk into Chili’s Matthew says he forgot his wallet back at the dorm. I offer to pay, but he knew I could barely afford college. Tyler gave us a wave and ran out with Matthew, telling us to find a table.
We were seated and the waiter came around a few times asking for our orders, but once the 30 minute mark passed, Jared threw up his hands.
“Tha’s it we’re ordering!”
“W-W-Wait, Jared I’m sure they’ll be back.”
“You said that like forever ago. I want some potato skins.” He whined called over a waitress.
We ordered our food and Jared promised me our roommates weren’t dead, eventually resorting to making me laugh to keep my mind off my friends possible doom. Food came, Jared ordered a monstrous burger for both of us, which i tried to politely decline. They came, were devoured and we payed. 
We weren’t far from campus and since neither Tyler or Matthew answered their phones, walking seemed to be the cheapest option. We talked about how much of a dick our roommates were and how we planned on getting back at them. Jared went on and on about games and school and he cut me off the second I mentioned trees. It was night fall when we got to campus, and we decided to take a second and look at the stars. Jared was apparently were knowledgeable about astronomy, and I listened to him drone on about the constellations and science behind stars. I laughed and watched Jared out of the corner of my eyes.
He glanced at me, “You okay, Even?”
“Oh.....yeah. Hey, let’s go back to the dorm.”
He pulled me up, and we walked back to Sycamore Hall watching the stars twinkle.
The door to 312 was open and we could here to guys laughing inside. 
“What the hell? Tyler, Matthew! What the fucking hell?!?”
Tyler looks up from his Xbox, “ Oh the love birds are back, Mat.”
Matthew looked up from his book, “Yo guys.”
Jared’s face grew beet red, “Why did you guys leave us?”
“Come on, you guys need to suck up whatever happened and go on a freaking date already. So, we made i happen.”
I choked on the air, “W-W-What!!!”
“Even close your mouth and just admit you had a fun date.”
My mouth hung open as Jared laughed, “You assholes.”
“Buuuuuuuuut?” Tyler crooned.
“Yeah, it was cool or whatever.”
Matthew beamed, “Even?”
My mine was blaring with sirens and flashing red lights, as everyone including Jared watched me. I could barely form words, but watching Jared laugh and scream at games, and talk about stars was so comforting and finally something Even felt was genuine.
And all I could do was nod.
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