#and again like I do think trans ppl are real and valid and deserving of respect and being called by their pronouns etc I am not in

[corvusissotired]

Trans and jewish ppl also said they still support and love the franchise. It was an integral part to their journey. Guess what. They have been told to stfu because they don't speak for their community. You see how fucked up it is? BOTH povs are valid. You can't dismiss one voice over the other to fit your agenda. The world is not black or white. Ppl are entitled to their opinion and telling trans and jewish ppl that support the game and franchise to fuck off is wrong. Period.

Lol buddy cmon. First, like I'm gonna believe an anon. It's so easy to link evidence of these Jewish and trans people saying they needed to buy the game because HP--an antisemitic, racist series made by a fomenting, raging mistake of a human being who has literally implied ALL trans women are, TRIGGER WARNING, rapists in a wig and skirt--was integral to their journey. Not saying it's not true, just saying it's hard to believe. Put up or shut up.

Second, at no point have I said it's ok to tell Jewish and trans people who play HL that they aren't part of their respective communities because they enjoy HP or even HL. It's not. But please note that, while you're 100% still part of the community and deserve rights as much as the rest of us, I will not trust you. A lot of us won't. Because you put a game above our lives, above your own life. And you absolutely are allowed to be upset about that but...something something fuck around and find out? Your actions have consequences. Literally don't know what else to say. It also makes zero sense. You want rights...but you're actively shitting on them by buying this game. Not saying it's ok to gatekeep, just putting it into perspective that if you do want basic fucking rights, maybe don't buy a game thats made by someone who is actively working to take them away? In any case, I have yet to see anyone in the anti HL tag, to streamers, to ANYONE who's playing the game, say any of that. That sounds fake as hell. Again, could be real but it's a bit unbelievable. Put up or shut up.

Anyway, not sure why you're bent about all this in my inbox. I have said none of these things so sounds like you're just another one of those people who, every time a trans person has a negative opinion about HL, you feel guilty and lash out. If you're here from my post, guess what? None of what I said was meant to be taken as a threat to people who play HL. My point with that post was to point out the people who buy it purely to hate trans people even more and that they're proving our ostracization, our being killed, is merely a joke to them. If you don't see the issue with that, or think there's 2 eQuaLLy iMpOrtAnt siDeS, there's seriously no helping you.

Please also note that none of what I said was untrue either. This is how fascism works. It starts slow and small. It's just a game right? But that game takes money. And that money goes into the pockets of an absolute mistake of a human. And then she gives it to politicians and bills and organisations that actively want marginalized people gone, dead. And now those politicians make office and those bills pass and those orgs are funded even more by these people now in power. And now they've seized that power and are actively killing people like me and you and other marginalized groups.

But go a-fucking-head. Have your game. Enjoy your nostalgia. But please ask yourself: was it worth it? Was it worth it to help put people's lives even more in danger than they already are, just so you could have your few months of dopamine and nostalgia from a game that will be forgotten in about a year? And maybe also ask yourself if it was worth it to put YOUR OWN life at risk for a few months of nostalgia and dopamine. Because a LOT of us don't think it is. And it's unfair that you are putting a literal game above our and your own life.

#anti hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy #jkr #jk rowling #what a joke

[thedeadflag]

I’m so confused! I know it’s not your responsibility to educate me but in your post bringing awareness to the negative aspects of g!p fanfic you say

“Why do these g!p characters rarely if ever involve experiences reflective of trans/intersex women? Why are they so utterly cis and perisex-washed? Why do nearly all writers have zero idea that tucking is a thing? “

Doesn’t that answer your original question? The reason they don’t reflect those groups of ppl is bc g!p isn’t trying to represent those groups of people or else it WOULD be transphobic to limit them to one specific fetish right? it just refers to a canonically female character with the addition of a penis (I don’t argue the name “g!p” should be changed bc that’s a no brainer why that could be offensive). But the fanfic in general, how could it be harmful? I’ve noticed in my time reading it as a non binary person it’s given me great gender euphoria reading a reader insert where reader has a penis while being a femme representing person just bc that’s a reflection of my personal experience. I don’t see anywhere where g!p fanfic ever references or tries to emulate the experiences of trans or intersex people so how could it be offensive?

Sorry this is way too long I’m just very confused

I'm going to try and lay this out as politely as I can. It's after 3:30 in the morning here, so this could be a bit disjointed and rambling. More under the cut:

In real life, ~99.999999% of women with penises are trans women. Which puts us in a tricky situation of (A) being the only women with penises around for media involving women with penises to reflect back on, and (B) being in the lovely position of precious few people actually having had meaningful real life exposure to trans women, meaning (C.) all those stigmas and all that misinformation are going to purely affect us and it’s going to be uncritically gobbled up by the masses, since they don’t have any meaningful information to fill in the blanks with instead.

When we peer into the depths of femslash fandoms and see all these folks who aren't trans women writing about women with penises, and using cis women’s bodies as platforms for these penises, it’s the simplest thing.

I mean, some of those folks might actually be struggling and confused about why they’re into it, what the real appeal is, why they get off on it, why they might have some feelings about wanting a penis of their own…

…but from our vantage point, it’s really easy to gauge 99.99% of the time. We can generally see valid, legitimate yearning to have a penis pretty damn easily in a piece of art/writing, and we can also see when people who create this media are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization.

And 99.9% of the time, the creators are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization, and see trans women’s bodies as a perfect vehicle to tap into that, generally due to deeply held cissexist views that link us and our bodies and genitals directly to cis men, to maleness. As if penises are rooted in maleness and masculinity (which is absolutely not true).

And I have sympathy for NB folks (certainly TME ones who have reached out to me in the past about this) who might be struggling with that, but just because they’re non-binary, it doesn’t mean they get to appropriate our bodies and reproduce transmisogyny and trans fetishization in their attempts at feeling better. Shit doesn't work like that.

Because again, the only women with penises in this world, essentially, are trans women. Meaning any woman with a penis in media is a trans woman, implicitly or explicitly. Meaning that when people who aren’t us want to write us, intent doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if it’s just the writer’s fantasy, it’s still going to attach a variety of messages directly onto us.

And more often than not, due to cissexism, those messages are linking us to maleness, to toxic masculinity, etc..

While I do want to believe they're a fairly small minority, a lot of NB folks in fandom spaces like g!p characters in part because they see penises as male and the rest of the body as female and think that duality is interesting and would be comfortable, and is a nice balance of “both worlds” or a nice position “between male and female”, but that’s a wholly cissexist, transmisogynistic view to have, and it’s one that absolutely cannot be supported without directing sexual violence against trans women and invalidating our entire existence. Certainly not all NB folks into g!p like it for that reason, but holy shit a fair bit of them do and it’s weird and wrong and fetishistic.

g!p emerged from the idea that women can't have penises, and drew on the transmisogyny and cissexism of tr*nny porn to structure that frame of desire and the core patterns and trends within these works. It's always been trans women's bodies being used as a vehicle, whether or not the writers of these fics are explicitly aware of it, because the trope itself still holds true to its original patterns and cissexism. It's not the name that's the problem, it's the content; changing the name would be a surface level change that wouldn't affect anything.

g!p objectifies women with penises (trans women). A woman with a penis is more than just a woman with a penis, but the use of the term and trope is literally to (A) remind people that women don't have penises, otherwise the g!p term wouldn't be needed if people actually accepted women with penises as women, and that (B) this is a story centered on a scenario where there's a woman with a penis, with key focus on that genitalia specifically. it's the drawing point, it's the lure, it's what everything is centered on. It is a means for folks to write lesbian sex while also writing about penis in vagina and getting off to it. It's also no surprise that the penises so clearly emulate cis men's penises in these works, that is by design.

As I’ve said many times before, if you’re only writing trans women’s bodies to showcase cis men’s penises, you’re not respecting the womanhood of trans women, and this ultimately has nothing inherent to do with penis-owning women, it has to do with (cis) men and their penises, because trans women are just being used as a vehicle to emulate them. When NB folks do the same thing, and imagining themselves as those g!p characters, they are ultimately embodying cis men, their maleness, and often toxic masculinity, in a way that feels safe and distanced enough for them, a shell that they often code as cisnormative due to their own unprocessed cissexism.

And trans women don’t deserve that.

You seem caught in the idea that if something doesn't directly perfectly reflect trans women, that it can't be linked to us., which ignores the long long history of media being used to misrepresent marginalized peoples and cast us in insulting, dehumanizing lights. You show a lack of understanding of the g!p trope and the long history of its usage across a few other names, even if the content and patterns remained the same. It shows a lack of understanding of tr*nny porn and transmisogynistic stigmas, which the trope draws heavily from.

I think we can all recognize that most 'lesbian' prn that's made does not represent actual lesbians, it's overwhelmingly catered to the male gaze. We can also recognize that this category of porn has led to a lot of harassment towards lesbians from cis men who at the very least want to believe lesbians are just like they are in the porn he watches, that lesbians just need the right man. Lesbians are being used as a vehicle for a fantasy that was created externally to them, and doesn't represent their realities.

It's the same kind of situation here. The way g!p fics play out overwhelmingly doesn't reflect trans women's realities, but they are inherently linked to us regardless, as we're the vehicles for those fantasies, as unrealistic and harmful as they may be.

g!p characters are built in our fetishized image that’s based on a deeply cissexist misunderstanding of us, of the gender binary, and of bodies in general.

I mean, when 99% of cis folks don’t understand how trans women tend to be sexually intimate… when they don’t understand what dysphoria is and how it works and how it can affect us physically and emotionally…when they don’t understand almost any of our lived experiences…then they’re not going to be able to accurately portray us even if they wanted to.

And I’ve read enough g!p fics where authors wrote those as a means of trying to add trans rep, but because they didn’t understand us at all, it wasn’t remotely representative, and it was ultimately fetishistic, even if there was an undercurrent of sympathy and a lack of following certain common g!p patterns there that differentiated it from the norm.

If g!p fics were at all about reducing dysphoria or finding euphoria, then it wouldn’t be explicitly tied up in the performance of very specific sex acts, very specific forms of misogyny and toxic masculinity, very specific forms of sexual violence and exertion of sexual power, etc.

But it is.

So the notion that creating g!p fics helps NB folks? Nope. It CAN certainly prevent/delay those folks from facing a whole boatload of shit they’ve internalized, and coddle them at the expense of trans women.

Because if it was really about bodies and dysphoria/euphoria, there would be a considerable push (allying with out own) to end our fetishization and to represent us in and out of sexual contexts with accuracy, respect, and care. Because they wouldn’t care what sex acts were performed and what smut beats were hit, they’d just want to see someone with a body like their ideal being loved, being sexual, connecting, being authentic, etc. Which very much is not the case in the overwhelming majority of g!p fics. That's what we want, and it's not what g!p writers want, it's nothing they give a shit about.

Like, a ways back I started doing random pulls of g!p fics from various fandoms and assessing them for certain elements to provide some quantitative clarity. I started on The 100 here, and did OuaT here. Never finished the 100 one since the results leveled out and stayed pretty consistent as the sample size grew, so I didn't really see the point in continuing any further after about 140 fics when the data wasn't really changing much at all.

Lastly, media influences people. I've read countless posts and comments from people who use fanfiction as a sex ed guide, in essence. Which is ridiculous, but I also know sex ed curricula often isn't very accurate or extensive in a lot of areas, so people take what they can get. Representation in media can be powerful, and when it overwhelmingly misrepresents people, that's also powerful. Just because fandom is a bit smaller than televised media, it doesn't make that impact any lesser, certainly not for those whose primary media intake is within fandom.

Virtually all trans representation in f/f fanfiction is misrepresentative of us. That has a cost in how people understand us, how people react to us, and how people treat us. Not just online, but in physical spaces, and in intimate settings.

I invite you to read that post you referenced again, or perhaps this longer one which is a response to a trans guy who seemed to feel something similar to you with this trope.

All I can do is lay it out there and try to explain this. It's up to you how you handle this. All I know is whenever there's a big surge in g!p in a fandom, trans women generally leave it en masse, because it's a very clear and consistent message that we're not valued, respected, and that people value getting off on us over finding community with us.

#g!p #creative responsibility #trans fetishization #trans representation #intersex fetishization #intersex representation #genitals tw #genital mention tw #intersexism #transmisogyny #fandom meta #long post #cissexism #t slur tw #media representation #media literacy

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #me on the first post: #its not a liveblog! #me this time: it kinda is. but not in the same format as my tmm one #i like doing one post for a handful of eps bc it saves time #and crowds my blog less #and also i just like talking abt what im watching lol #dp thoughts

[smol-grey-tea]

I was gonna write the romo attraction thing today but honestly i dont feel like doing it bc im just rlly upset about smth that im sure a lot of ppl can relate to

So my irl friend groups are very... well they dont know much about these kinds of things, i had to be a walking encyclopaedia for them about my identities like nb stuff bc they didn't bother to just... look it up.

When i told them i was trans they would say "omg are you actually trans?? I have a trans best friend!!" Yikes

Instead they would ask me to explain it. Which is fine, i kinda hate having to explain for the 5th time that no, using the correct terms and pronouns is not a fucking burden, and that yes, dysphoria is awful and wont just magically go away.

and when i tell them to yk, not use pronouns for me and just use my name instead, not 1 person did that. They just... misgendered me and used she/her when i explicitly told them that it makes me dysphoric. I then told them to use coo/coos/cooself instead bc i quite like it, but they still didnt use it.

Then i gave up and told them to use they/them since it doesnt make me dysphoric even tho i lowkey hate it. They still misgender me but said "they'll try to get used to it". Its not that hard guys what the actual fuck???

Anyway, i was actually going to talk about aspec stuff. So i only told one of them that i was demiromantic demisexual, and they said "wtf is that" which yk is not a nice way to react to someone coming out, but i have thick skin so i just explained it bc again they couldnt bother to search it, and they said "ok ig" and changed the subject when i wanted to explain my attraction???? I've never had anyone that i could talk to about my complicated feelings with being aspec and just when i thought i could i was shut down.

I thought it was over and done with, until they started to... ignore my fucking identity??? Which i would say is way more important and personal to me than my bisexuality??? They never did any of that bs with my bisexuality probably bc they were pansexual themself, but jfc is it that hard to not make jokes about me being horny or having a crush or joking about setting me up on blind dates??? It legit made me so uncomfortable and i have no idea what to say.

Bc remember, they didnt exactly respect my pronouns and kept using gendered terms to refer to me even more after i came out??? I swear it feels like its on purpose every time they called me a girl but whatever

Istg they forgot that im demi bc they keep making these jokes and ignoring that i dont feel sexual or romantic attraction like that and keep acting as if i want to date ppl or fuck them when i say they look pretty??? I spent way too fucking long mistaking my aesthetic attraction for sexual for ppl to once again reinforce this idea and im done with it. Please for the love of god stop it.

I said i liked wilbur and thought he was rlly cute and they then proceeded to, you guessed it, act like im in love with him or that i want to fuck him. First of all, hes a real person on the internet that i do not know, 2nd of all, fucking eww, and 3rd of all, hes a whole ass adult and we r both in high school. Yikes again.

Ofc i didnt tell them these things and just said that i dont like him that way and just thought he was pretty and nothing else. They completely ignored this and thought i was just embarrassed or smth or that i was in denial. Yikes again again.

So yeah. The only lesson i learned is to never come out as aspec to anyone irl ever again. Tbh i kinda want to tell them that im not bi and that i dont feel any kind of attraction. It would be a lie but christ i wish they would stop. They can validate my bisexuality but not my nb or aspec identities? I knew that queer sexualities were more normalized now which is awesome but why cant they do that for trans ppl or aspecs? Why does it have to stop there?

Sorry for venting like this but i thought this might be relatable for yall. Ive never had the experience of feeling "broken" bc of any of my identities, im very confident in them. I just wish other ppl other than my online friends would feel the same.

Also sorry for delaying the romo attraction thingy i just rlly dont feel like it rn. Idk when i will write it but hopefully if i feel better i will finish it today

There's no pressure to write it up dude it's cool :) whenever you're ready ❤

And those ppl do not sound like good friends- idk exactly how old you are but ik I'm older, and I can tell you for certain that you will find better friends one day. It's guaranteed :) they don't deserve your friendship and I am glad to validate and help you in any way you need ❤❤

Yee I've never felt broken either! I think an element of that is that I thought I was allo for a very long time? But on the other hand I was bullied in my childhood for not having attraction so idk why that hasn't manifested into a phobia of romance but eh I'm better off this way whether it makes sense or not.

It makes me happy as well cuz a lot of ppl in the community seem very pessimistic abt how we're treated but it's nice to know that not all of us feel broken cuz the 2 of us are living examples of that :)

But unfortunately yeah, your experiences above are things many ppl can relate to. I'm sure almost everyone can remember a time where they came out to someone and weren't met with good responses,,

Let this be a reminder that this is not right and we deserve more support for something so personal. Even if you don't understand someone's identity that doesn't give you the right to dismiss or ignore them. Our identities are very important and personal to us and supporting them is basic respect.

#my post #ask #long post #lgbtq #aspec #aroace #aroacespec #non binary #transgender #neutralitea #transphobia tw #aphobia tw #acephobia tw #arophobia tw #swearing cw

[lilyhoshikawa]

🎥🎶💕🏳‍🌈💎 for hunters perhaps? >:3c

Oh golly! Ok fndkfnfn let me do this then. This may be difficult-

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

This is hard bc I have a lot of scenes I like and good scenes keep happening dhdjfn.

There are a lot of stand-outs so far. Among them is definitely like, the confrontation in the car between Blake and Sakio, and the recent social link scene with Blake and Lena on the boat.

Scenes that DON’T involve my own character that I adore include. The scene with Sakio and Camellia at the graveyard. The scene with with Lena and Twitch outside the store. The Sammy’s scene where they read Tango’s letter. Also the scene with Sammy and Masumi bc it was just extremely funny.

🎶: If your hyperfixation has songs / an OST, what is your favorite song from it?

Hm. Well time once again to advertise my Blake playlist, which I’m constantly putting a lot of work and thought into tbh dhjddb, I’ve deleted a fair number of songs from it when I feel they don’t fit, and I’m constantly messing with the order of the songs in relation to Blake’s prospective characters arc, and adding more as I find them fndkfnf I’m always on the lookout.

Also, vane is constantly updating the official playlist with some real bangers, and I appreciate that. Amil’s and Twitch’s themes are real good.

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Everybody has really really good characters, heck. One thing that strikes me is that even with taking the backseat and having to be on autopilot for several sessions, Camellia still has such a strong and distinct personality, to the point where everyone is on the same page abt them, and I think that’s just really amazing dhdjfjf, that’s how strong an impression they make every time they’re around.

Lena is also so good, she’s like… I think abt her frequently. Sometimes I just start giggling when I think abt Lena, bc she is a national treasure, and I hope she knows I care abt her. She’s great in this way that she’s both very funny/cute and also has a lot of depth and nuance to her arc, and I’m so excited for more.

In the same vein, Sammy. No one character has made me go from giggling to sobbing as fast as this green goat. One moment Sammy is making their cat do a little greeting and I’m rolling on the floor from the cuteness, and then the next second they’re crying and saying they don’t want to be left behind, and then I am also crying. How do they do it. The absolute range.

I also really appreciate Ilse like, particularly in contrast to Blake sometimes, in that Ilse is very smart in a way that’s quiet, self-conscious and careful, while Blake is at times recklessly arrogant, and those two bounce off each other well. Ilse feels mature at times but every time they quietly like, try to be the bigger person, or to not make a problem of themselves, I wanna give them a hug and be like “u deserve to be recognized and acknowledged and u deserve better” dhdjdndjdn. When u have big personalities like Sakio and Lena and Blake in the party there’s something compelling abt Ilse being with them and not asserting themselves as they try to do their best, if that makes sense, and I want them to know I see and appreciate them.

Sakio is also so good and I’ve talked abt this to vane plenty before but holy shit. There’s so much obvious care and love and effort and skill that went into writing a character who is both wrong in many ways, and who many player characters antagonize for good reason, and yet still so incredibly sympathetic, so likable and so compelling. The fact that both Blake and Lena have this relationship with Sakio where they don’t like or trust her, necessarily, but also can’t deal with her not being there, is so fucking good, it creates such powerful conflict in the smallest of ways. Sakio is great bc I love her and I understand her and I appreciate her, but I also wanna yell at her and think she is absolutely horribly wrong about incredibly crucial things and u can FEEL that turmoil in her as well, with her knowing on some level that her actions are going to cause harm, and she’s just waiting and hoping to take the fall, thinking, maybe foolishly, that she can, and that doing so will save everyone else.

I also fucking love so many minor characters we haven’t seen much of so far. I absolutely love Bee and I’ve told vane abt this but she’s just a total icon. Theo is also great, he is the only valid he/him in the entire campaign djdkfj. I love Twitch as well and I’m very excited for some of the interesting stuff in Twitch’s arc that has been hinted at coming to fruition later on, that’s very exciting. I’m also very excited to learn more abt Amil’s whole deal, I appreciate them a lot and I feel bad every time I have to make Blake come pester them fndkfnf. Oh also Prim, how did I forget Prim… what’s going on with her, I have no idea, but she’s a mean lady and my love for mean ladies is well-documented. Also her look is iconic. Also also Puck, the fact that he’s a child and I didn’t know it for several months shocked me to my core but it has made his brand of Shakespearean mischief that much more endearing, and now I seek only to give him snacks and let him sit in his funny garbage throne. I forgot abt Puck earlier so I’ll say he is the second valid he/him in the campaign but frankly I think Puck should take some neopronouns for a spin, he deserves it.

🏳️‍🌈: Do you have any headcanons (LGBT, race, neuro, etc.) that are important to you?

(*throws neurological disorders at Blake*) jdkdnfkf no but jokes aside. I love that this party is like, 5 player characters, 4 of whom use they/them. Just. The raw power of a persona series written by LGBT+ ppl…

I can’t speak on other ppl’s characters too much but as for Blake, they’re a closeted transfem and also too much of a disaster for a coherent sexuality but probably bi. Autistic, and an abuse survivor who experiences paranoid delusions and self-destructive tendencies. Probably more, but specifics are messy, they’re a fucking mess, what’s going on with them, they don’t even know.

Masumi is a binary trans lesbian, also an abuse survivor and manages quite a bit of paranoia of her own, dealing with mood swings and occasional delusions of grandeur, most of it she keeps internally managed which isn’t great for her mental health.

💎: Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Blake’s original characterization was thought up prior to the campaign and was very different from their finished characterization. They lived on a farm with their parents and were pretty quiet and passive before being arrested for a murder they didn’t commit (this part is the same) and their personality was way more quiet, reserved and passive, with the whole celebrity aspect completely absent. They were still going to be the sort of clever leader type character but leaned far more into the background. Their design was also different, with their hair in a low ponytail rather than high and scars on their face from scrapes and accidents working on the farm.

I realized that, even though this character was more of an original idea than Masumi (who I was playing in another campaign at the time and who was characterized somewhat differently as well) I didn’t find myself excited to write them, couldn’t get invested in them in the same way, and as I kept workshopping them I decided to be more self-indulgent and lean more into shamelessly making them an Akechi expy in more ways.

And what resulted from that, ironically, is what I feel is a better character in the end. Blake feels more dynamic, lively and interesting now than the old iteration I first thought up, back when I was intent on making them My Own Creation with their own arc. At this point I’m comfortable saying that Blake, for all their similarities to Akechi, has evolved over the course of the campaign into a more interesting character, into someone I recognize as distinctly different and who stands out. They feel unique to me, and feel like my own character. And I think that only could’ve happened through playing them in a TTRPG like this, in developing them along with others, and having to adapt, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about developing characters with other people. The Blake I’ve ended up with is one I’m really happy with, who I feel is more interesting and dynamic to me than if I had just tried to force something unique just to not feel cringe about making an expy. And maybe I need to learn that lesson before I go through the same thing with Zee fjdkfnf.

#meme response #myosotis horizon #rambles #the hunters

[5typesoftrash]

warning: this is going to be a long post. transphobia and bigotry under the cut

I am posting this rebuttal of a person who got (hilariously) angry at someone who Does Not Care (me) and wrote an entire-ass essay on this post because apparently this is how I spend my time. Defending my identity which does not need to be defended because it is immutable from transphobic trolls who won’t even see it cause they’re blocked from this account.

Anyway. Be careful looking under the cut.

TERFs, gender-crits, radical feminists, transmeds, nb-exclus, anti-mogai, and anyone else whose ideology promotes transphobia and/or trans erasure, please kindly do not fucking touch this post. I am not kidding when I say that I will report you all to tumblr for hate speech if it takes me all fucking night.

Image Description

Two screenshots of a reblog from tumblr user homosexual-means-gay. The post reads:

please tell me how literally every single gay man being repulsed by ppl with vaginas hurts you! tell us why it’s a problem gay ppl aren’t attracted to the opposite sex like straight and bi ppl are!

homosexuality isn’t a political movement it’s a regular natural innate sexuality. gay men aren’t attracted to biological females and it hurts gay ppl when you side with conversion therapists and it hurts bisexual ppl who actually are attracted to both sexes when you erase them for your homophobic agenda. you’re not a victim. you’re happy to eliminate homosexuality from existence as long as you’re able to reinforce heteronormative gender roles the gay community has always opposed. your bigotry harms trans homosexuals too, not that you transhets care about the gay trans ppl either.

erased from history? you want gay ppl correctively raped out of existence bc you love socially constructed gender roles more than human rights. you deserve all the hate you put out into the world. im sorry our innate orientation and culture prove how flimsy and useless the gender roles you define yourself by are, but homophobia will not improve your self esteem. you’re driving away ppl who would be happy to support your made up identity by attacking how we were born same sex attracted. sorry you can’t relate bc you’re straight. sorry you think you can use your privilege against us. but it’s not something we’re doing to you. it’s not something we can change and it’s not something we want to change. there’s never been a gay man in existence who likes pussy, not even the gay trans women like marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera. you’re a sad little straight girl alienating all potential allies.

hurting us doesn’t validate you. it doesn’t hurt you that no gay man will ever like pussy.

End ID

(If someone wants to do a better ID that’s fine, I just wanted to put everyone on an equal playing field when it comes to understanding the content of this post.)

I’m going to go line-by-line and refute every single bullshit thing this person said.

> please tell me how literally every single gay man being repulsed by ppl with vaginas hurts you!

factoid actually just statistical error. TERF Tommy, who has committed multiple transphobic hate crimes, is an outlier and should not have been counted. I know many cis gay men who are attracted to trans men because they are MEN, not because of the genitalia they have. And I know you want to say ‘that makes them bi’, but no, it doesn’t. You want to accuse me of homophobia? Telling another gay person that their identity is invalid just because they express it in a different way than you do is literal homophobia.

>  tell us why it’s a problem gay ppl aren’t attracted to the opposite sex like straight and bi ppl are!

because... some are? And you don’t speak for the entire gay community? Especially not the other side of it, for the opposite binary gender than yours.

>  homosexuality isn’t a political movement it’s a regular natural innate sexuality.

and transness isn’t a political movement either, it is a regular natural and innate gender identity. You know that gender identity is inherent, right? When people say ‘gender is a social construct’ all that means is that it is not a natural thing. Humans created the concept of gender and assigned value to it based on what we could perceive as a means of giving order to the world around us. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t important and it doesn’t mean that there aren’t parts of it that are inherent to individuals.

>  gay men aren’t attracted to biological females and it hurts gay ppl when you side with conversion therapists and it hurts bisexual ppl who actually are attracted to both sexes when you erase them for your homophobic agenda.

I’m sorry this is literally incoherent. To reiterate: some gay men ARE attracted to assigned females. Yes, siding with conversion therapists hurts gay people. No, I am not siding with conversion therapists. I have never once stated -- in fact, the entire point of my post was the opposite of this -- that anyone should EVER have sexual interactions with a person they don’t want to. Even if the reason for that is because they have a genital preference, which is NOT the same thing as a sexuality.

(I know I’ve been over this before but here it is again. A sexuality is a measure of what GENDER/S you want to have sex with. A genital preference is a measure of what genitalia you are willing to get all up close and personal with. Both are innate, one can be manipulated. They are not the same thing.)

Hurting bisexual people... hey, fellow bis, am I hurting you by *checks notes* existing in time and space?

>  you’re not a victim. you’re happy to eliminate homosexuality from existence as long as you’re able to reinforce heteronormative gender roles the gay community has always opposed.

I am literally A GAY PERSON. Even by YOUR MEASURE I am a victim. And I do NOT want to eliminate homosexuality, I just want people to acknowledge that language evolves and definitions can change as our society does. Also, have you ever met a trans person in real life? Because like 80% of all the trans people I’ve ever known have been gender non-conforming, so like. That invalidates that point. The trans community opposes gender roles as well.

>  your bigotry harms trans homosexuals too, not that you transhets care about the gay trans ppl either.

Please point to where it says I’m straight. Please. I want to see it.

>  erased from history? you want gay ppl correctively raped out of existence bc you love socially constructed gender roles more than human rights.

At this point I’m just repeating myself. Please see the above points for rebuttal.

>  you deserve all the hate you put out into the world. im sorry our innate orientation and culture prove how flimsy and useless the gender roles you define yourself by are, but homophobia will not improve your self esteem.

Says the person berating a minor for *flips notecard over* agreeing with them that people shouldn’t be forced into sex. I’m sorry that you’re so hurt and angry that you have to push your pain onto other people just to feel better. I genuinely am. It makes me so sad to see how much some people are hurting. But I won’t just sit and take this kind of verbal abuse. I don’t deserve it, quite frankly.

>  you’re driving away ppl who would be happy to support your made up identity by attacking how we were born same sex attracted.

I doubt anyone calling it a made-up identity wants to actually support me. Next.

>  sorry you can’t relate bc you’re straight. sorry you think you can use your privilege against us. but it’s not something we’re doing to you. it’s not something we can change and it’s not something we want to change.

Again. I am not straight. I do not have any straight privilege to use against anyone. Even if I was cis I still wouldn’t be straight because I’m aroace and attracted to anyone and everyone. My gender identity isn’t something that I can change, either. And even if I couldn’t, I wouldn’t want to. I love being a man, and I love being a trans man. 

>  there’s never been a gay man in existence who likes pussy, not even the gay trans women like marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera.

I’m sorry, WHAT. Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera can’t be both gay men and trans lesbians. Which one are they? You gotta pick, babe.

> you’re a sad little straight girl alienating all potential allies. hurting us doesn’t validate you. it doesn’t hurt you that no gay man will ever like pussy.

So am I a transhet or am I a straight girl? Also I’m not sad, I’m quite happy with where I’m at in my life. I do not feel validated by hurting anyone, because I don’t enjoy pain. I’m not masochistic or emotionless, I am in fact hyperempathetic due to my autism, and I don’t like it when anyone is hurt. This can be evidenced by this post here where I wish well upon a group of people who have directly hatecrimed me in the past. 

I will repeat that. I have literal trauma from physical violence as a result of the actions of this group of people, and I am still wishing them good things. 

Nor does it hurt me that ‘no gay man will ever like [AFAB genitalia]’ because this isn’t even a true statement. As I have mentioned previously, I know personally multiple gay men who are attracted to trans men. And reader, please note the fact that this person uses a slang term, a deliberately vulgar one, where in my original post I used the medical term ‘vagina’.

Hope this clears some things up.

TERFs, gender-crits, radical feminists, transmeds, nb-exclus, anti-mogai, and anyone else whose ideology promotes transphobia and/or trans erasure, please kindly STILL do not clown on this post. I am once again not kidding when I say that I will report you all to tumblr for hate speech if it takes me all fucking night.

#terf #anti-terf #terfs don't touch #trans #transgender #transphobia #tw transphobia #tw rape mention #tw homophobia #tw homophobia mention #tw misogyny #tw terf #long post #discourse #genital preference #tw genitals #tw vagina #tw penis #tw male genitals #tw female genitals #marsha p johnson #sylvia rivera #stonewall

[crystallic-moon]

I’m reading Blood Like Magic so here’s my live comments

There will 100% be spoilers

Is she sitting in a pool of blood?

A lot of blood.

Ok but the whole Voya not being able to make a decision thing is exactly like me.

Fuck Uncle Cathius.

“And so humble” I LOVE KEIS BEING ABLE TO HEAR HER THOUGHTS

Wait- Alex’s bleeding came from her eyes and ears, but it was said that that’s how it is for the guys since they don’t have a period. Soo.. is Alex trans?

ALEX IS TRANS I LOVE THE REPRESENTATION

Aww i love what Voya’s mom said to her when Voya was becoming insecure about her hips.

Luc may be mean but he sounds hot ;-;

Holy shit- Mama Jova’s scars— my heart hurts for what she had to go through

Holy shit I think we’re watching how Mama Jova died

The year 2049, I’d be 44 years old in this story

Nooo Eden 🥺

Ok but maybe Mama Jova didn’t mean kill him? But also I get why she’d want bloodshed because of the way she died...

Voya just exposed Luc :0

Omg why am I starting to like Luc

I’m a Luc simp but I shouldn’t be

I suck at remembering to write in this. This whole mystery with Auntie Elaine is confusing.

I also loved that scene at the Night Market where Luc gave her a temporary tattoo. It felt like their first real raw bonding moment.

I wonder if Lucs secretly a witch. Like what if he is but he doesn’t know about it.

Aww Luc called over Voya while he was workinggg she’s growing on him.

LMAO DENNIS BEING LIKE HOW TF DID U GET LIC TO TALK TO YOU

Priya holding Edens hand hurts because she’s probably scared it may be the last time she might get to.

AHAH- LUCS LIKE U SURE UR MOM WOULD LET U HAVE A BOY IN UR ROOM, AND VOYA FREEZES AND HES LIKE DIDNT THINK ABOUT THAT DID U

Why was that cute omg

Oh they’re definitely starting to like each other

*clears throat* Lucs letting her get into his personal space

Justin did something to Elaine I know it.

I think Elaine had something to do with Justin discovering the genetic modification thing.

I like Luc and Alex kinda bonding over both being trans.

Are they really talking about her when they know she’s in the house or near it?? Y’all are witches I’d assume you’d be a bit smarter about this.

Omg he went after her crying, my heart.

HE OFFERED TO HUG HER

AWW HES SO AWKWARD IT HURTS

Dammit she has to kill him.

“‘I think you make him flustered.’” MHM YES SHE DOES

I feel so bad for Alex she didn’t deserve to find out that way.

I don’t know if I love or hate that Voya said yes to dinner.

“Every day, more and more cracks in our family get exposed” - my theory is that the whole ‘destroy your first love’ thing is about her family. Voya’s family is her first love and the has to destroy its secrets.

Can we not kill Luc please

Oh shit she killed Juras-

Oh he survived

*cough* they definitely like each other

Man, fuck Justin.

YES GO BE SPONTANEOUS

Peptalkpeptalkpeptalk

“If I give it back, what excuse will I have to keep inviting you places to return it?” STOP HES SO CUTE

I really love the representation of both Luc and Alex being trans. And Keisha being a lesbian.

He’s definitely given her profile more than a ‘glance’

I know I’ve said it before. And it’s probably getting repetitive. But I love the trans representation in Luc.

I feel like Luc is being more soft with Voya, when Voya was like examining his body cuz he told her about how often he eats, he awkwardly was like could u not examine my body. But like with other ppl I feel like he wouldn’t been more snappy with it, cuz as we’ve seen he’s not afraid to be a little mean.

Honestly I get Lucs thing about speaking Spanish to his family and being told he has an accent every time. Happens to me a lot, it’s irritating but I try.

Yes u like him and he likes u it’s so obvious now kiss.

THEY KISSED OMG

They are so adorable please don’t make her kill him.

I am so worried about her watching this.

JOHAN OMG

stop the man was wipping them like how Mama Jova died is that meant to be a sign???

Luc came to see her???

Okay okay but how tf is she supposed to explain to Luc that she got whipped by a magical man or whatever that wat because she wanted to watch a ritual so she could prepare to kill him?? - not even the killing him part, how is she supposed to explain the some magic dude whipped me part?!

No it’s a vision girl don’t believe it.

ITS A VISION STOP IT.

Omg can this girl catch a break she just got badly injured and almost died she doesn’t need this.

WAIT LUC WAS ACTUALLY THERE

WAIT THE THING SHE SAID IN HER VISION DID SHE SAY THEM OUTLOUD?!

CUZ IF SHE DID SHE MENTIONED HURTING JURAS SO LUC WOULD KNOW SHE DID SOMETHING TO JURAS.

NOOOO

I’m upset.

Watching Voya and her dad bind is bittersweet cuz I know he still hurt her despite this bonding moment.

Mama Jova better have a good ass lesson to teach Voya with this task cuz girl is going through it.

I want to see Luc again.

I am so anxious to keep reading cuz I genuinely don’t know what’s going to happen.

I feel like Lucs gonna show up to her cooking competition especially since he can easily find her location.

I WAS RIGHT HE SHOWED UP

Fuck Justin man.

At least he’s the successor

Ok I get Voya wanting to be honest but why would admit that he still considering killing him ;-; for all you know he could be recording this and take it to the cops.

“Are you breaking up with me?” STOP STOP RIGHT NOW

I hate that he blocked her but like -he has a very very valid reason. Surprised he didn’t get a whole restraining order.

Wait wait since Voya broke the circle when they were casting the spell to protect caribana that means there will be no protection and that has to mean something??

I’m betting that something bads gonna happen at the Caribana

I feel like her mom told her until to stay until they got back for a good reason

YAY SHE PASSED BUT WAT DID SHE ASK FOR

Omg I thought Voya got shot—

Ok yes technically Voyas partially to blame for breaking the circle but it’s not entirely her fault

No no no u could’ve just gotten rid of her internship or something but trap her in the house forever? Sorry girl I wouldn’t forgive u either.

I like that Lucs back but it hurts

Holy shit things have gone very south

Ofc he was gonna trap u in glass cage with Eden what did u expect Luc ;-;

Mf I swear to fucking god if u kill granny

Aww Luc and Voyas little moment through the glass. I can tell he feels guilty and still loves her...

He’s still trying to protect her.

Oh shit he’s known since before Luc and Voya even met

They’re not a legitimate genetic match-

THEY STILL FELL FOR EACH OTHER WHO CARES.

I like Voyas thing about him thinking what he had with Elaine was love, because wat they had wasn’t love if he expected her to do anything he asked just because she loved him.

Granny to the rescue

Granny is not to the rescue.

Yes Luc he’s a lying cheat.

Please I thought Luc was destined to die, not Granny 🥺

“Who will by my grandma is she’s gone?” STOP IT RIGHT NOW

“Does it also not matter that I can’t even have a conversation with my parents without arguing? That I’ve forgotten how to speak my own language because you told me it wasn’t important? If the outcome of good, are the consequences irrelevant?” STOP LUC MY BABY DOESNT DESERVE THIS.

Stop that actually hurts cuz Luc sees how great of a relationship Voya has with her family and he’s just there without a relationship with them besides shared genes.

Yes Luc argue with the asshole.

Even tho u were once an asshole.

Edennn 🥺

Omg u love Luc fighting for them

Like I love how Luc fought for Justin to let Granny hug her granddaughter goodbye. It shows he cares and how this really does hurt him especially the way Voya described him wiping away his tears and screaming.

“Granny puts Eden back down on the chair and pauses to stare at Luc. ‘Thank you. ‘Please don’t,’ Luc croaks. ‘Too bad. I already thanked you.’” - Luc probably feels like this is his fault, that’s why he doesn’t want Granny to thank him.

:0 granny was the one who saved Luc from Voya stabbing him in her vision.

I like that Granny respected Voyas wishes of not killing him by saving him herself.

Keis is eternally trapped in the house for nothing.

Seriously.

I mean I’m glad Eden was saved by that but still.

“Why would you tell me this now? Why would you make me sparked as shit with you right as your about to die?” 🥺

She regrets not trusting Voya 🥺

AWW STOP “That means you can’t die. You have to make it up to me. Borrow someone else’s gift. Fix this.”

Granny was always planning making Voya the matriarch.

STOP SHE WONT GET TO BE A MAMA

Omg omg omg it’s Auntie Elaine.

Wait that’s so smart, turning him into the prototype

Omg her killing his body’s was intense—

“Why couldn’t you listen to me? Why couldn’t you find another way?” Luc still cared about Justin but of course he did, he wasn’t the best but it’s still the man who basically raised him.

Aww he tried to save Eden regardless

Omg she almost collapsed

Oh shit. “It’s the Luc I imagined once he knew the truth. That hateful twist to his mouth and narrowing of his eyes.” He hates her.

Wait that’s so sad, him only having the bionic lenses to remember Justin by.

“‘For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. But don’t forget that we both lost someone today.’ Luc shakes his head. ‘You lost someone. I lost everyone.’” - Stopp that’s so sad. Voya lost her granny but she still has her family, but Luc doesn’t have anyone else. He’s absolutely done with Voya, he doesn’t have any other friends, his sponsee siblings seem to hate him, and he argues with his family. Justin was all he had and now that’s gone too...

Sorry I’m mad a Voya too for trapping Keis in the house.

AWW LUC CHANGED THE CHROMOSOME ID THING

“Alex said that now her ID brings up XX the way it should.” I LOVE IT

“I like to think it’s because he’s better than that.” I think he hasn’t threatened or punished them for what happened because deep down he still wants to protect Voya and he’s aware they did it to save themselves and their family.

Woahhh Justina dads death

“The ancestors must love irony.” 💀

I guess she sort of did listen to Luc cuz she’s interning at Roti Roti for Johan.

I hate that Granny’s gone :(

Voyas showing Rena, Lauren’s mom, how she died 🥺

Wait I love that.

“I bring the intent. They bring the blood. We both pay for the gift of magic.”

This was a good book.

I loved the different genres blended together. I loved the magic side of it, it’s witches, and how they had this whole system with a matriarch, and a whole community. I loved the sci fi parts, with the genetic modification and this huge new company NuGene. I loved loved loved the romance between Voya and Luc and how they didn’t get their traditional happy ever after, and how they also weren’t a legit genetic match but they still fell for each other. And I loved the mystery side with figuring out who Mama Elaine was and what important role she played.

I’ll admit the story felt slow in the beginning and I almost decided to turn around and return it for another book but I’m so glad I didn’t because it was a good and eye catching book. But it does upset me and Keis really got the short end of the stick, she spent the whole book working to get a NuGene internship only to end up trapped in the house by the person who pushed her to get the internship.

This was a good book tho I do recommend.

Also Luc never returned Voyas food container.

4/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Finished July 15, 2021 at 2pm

#blood like magic #liselle sambury #book review #books #book #reading #long reads #recs #book recs #voya thomas #voya #luc #blackgirlmagic #poc reader #poc representation #black representation #hispanic representation #hispanic reader #queer representation #magic #magicbook #bookmagic #please read #witch #witchyvibes #witch books

[b0ttl3d-up-st4rs]

Well I'm gonna do what I do best and self reflect to an insane amount. This is probably gonna be a long post so buckle up.

To be honest my behavior for nearly the past year now is concerning to say the least. There's this little voice in my head that just desperately wants to get more and more hurt, more and more traumatized. Why is that? At first glance the negative approach could be to say its some sort of masochistic behavior and any negative repercussions as a result of this behavior is deserved, but I don't really think thats the case.

Self sabotage is a characteristic that can be exhibited in many mentally ill people and I am no exception. I think this behavior, of seeking to be hurt by grown men on the internet is partially self sabotage.

And I remember when I first started this shit show, I just wanted attention. Sounds mean to say, but craving attention is something the human soul desperately wants. And I was starting to feel some sense of self beauty but I didn't feel as though anyone around me was appreciating it so I tried to get attention from grown men because being showered in compliments and attention felt so good when my whole life I've never gotten any of that.

I think there's more too it, though. Looking back my whole life it's almost as if I've wanted to get hurt. In books I liked to sit around with the pain the characters felt. And its almost like I wanted to get traumatized. I've heard that people with trauma that they don't acknowledge is trauma or think its bad enough to be traumatizing seek put worse forms of trauma, in order to feel that pain is valid. And I think that's part of my issue too.

I do have unaddressed and repressed childhood trauma. I was given unrestricted internet at a young age and was exposed to the horrors of the internet. Nothing like straight up porn, but a lot of suggestive content. And in general being exposed to that caused me a lot of catholic guilt as I was raised catholic. I remember feeling like knowing these things were my fault. Many days I felt so guilty that I would pray to god to let me not wake up in the morning.

As a child I also questioned my religion a lot, which i think was traumatic in itself. Religion is a big thing. And as a kid I had a big issue knowing reality from fiction. Heck I still do. I remember as a kid my friend telling me that we were all demigods and one day we were going to run away to camp half blood. That the percy jackson books were real. It sounds stupid now, but I processed that as real and it was so stressful for me.

And I remember being 12 coming out as trans and as a part of the lgbtq community to my parents. They didnt react well. They said I was confused. My mom said I was both too young and too old to know. I fought a lot with my mom. And in general have a lot of unhappy memories from then. I was outed multiple times in my life.

My relationship with my parents still isnt good. My mom has a tendency to be toxic. I hate that I have to stay in the closet around my family its so painful. Like a month ago I mentioned the lgbtq community for the first time in years, asking my mom her opinions on it and if it changed since 2017, and it turned into her yelling at me and making herself a victim. It really hurt. I forgot how much it hurt.

I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad. We barely talk. Hes very emotionally distant. When I'm at my dad's house I sort of fend for myself. Its the exact opposite at my moms house. She's overbearing and never leaves you alone. It's like going between to extremes.

And honestly I can't wait to move out. My mom and I have arguments a lot. But hey at least I have some relationship with her, I don't really have a relationship with my dad.

I remember one time this year, I was during the end of a school semester. I needed to catch up on work because after talking to my abuser for like 5 months and then unlocking him I was left in shambles and fell into a really bad depression to where my motivation for school just disapeared. Im still dealing with that tbh. Anyways I had to go to a online meeting to choose my classes and I didn't get to choose the classes I thought I would be able to, and that made me really upset. But after the meeting I had to go to do am act of kindness (I chose picking up litter at a graveyard cause i like graveyards) for my school project but I was still distraught. If I was given some time to myself I probably wouldve been able to go without issue, but my mom wanted to go immediately. We argued. And when I got there I refused to leave the car because I felt so much like shit. We argued more. It was the worst argument I ever had. She even swore at me. Which she's never done before. And she ended up playing victim again. She does that a lot I guess. And doesn't really listen to my feelings. Whenever I try to communicate about my feelings with her it turns into an argument and she makes it about herself. So yeah our relationship isn't the greatest. And I think having mommy and daddy issues is a trauma in itself. Ppl deserve to have happy healthy supportive families.

Oh right and another trauma I completely forgot (funny how that happens) is when I was 14 and admitted to a mental hospital because I tried to off myself. It was so surreal and they forced me to learn how to make eye contact with people cause apparently thats "how they know im doing ok". Which is kinda fucked considering the fact I recently realized I might be autistic. And eye contact is literally so painful for me. It especially was back then. Anyways the place itself wasnt too bad but the feeling of being trapped overall sucks and being disconnected from the rest of the world isnt fun either. Also I dissociate all the time but I especially dissociated hard thru the whole experience. And sort of made myself into the perfect patient, repeating all their bs and literally lying to myself to convince myself that I was ok so they would let me go. So that was kind of weird.

Anyways I know I have it better than others. And honestly sometimes it's hard to tell what exactly was traumatic in my childhood. I probably forgot and repressed other parts of it too and am forgetting things. But needless to say these unaddressed traumas didn't help my mental state. And i do think that's a big part of the voice in my head begging me to just get hurt more.

Overall my mental state is fucked, It's been really hard for me not to be taken advantage of by another internet pedo. Heck the only reason that isn't happening rn is because no ones dmed me yet. Also I unblocked my old abuser and we are talking again now so thats fun. It definitely doesnt help the cognitive dissonance in my brain of him being actually a nice and supportive dude. I think thats also a part of me wanting to get more traumatized. Since my abuser is a nice person that should counteract all the fucked up sexual things he said to me in the past right? I mean others have it worse, had worse abusers that were actively cruel. That's part of the bitch in my subconscious brain talking. It sucks tbh.

Anyways yeah I probably need therapy but I don't feel comfortable talking about this to my current counselor and honestly its really hard to say out loud. I can talk forever about it by writing it down but the moment I speak words from my dumbass mouth I break down in tears and can't do it. Plus idk, I'm scared if I say anything she'll have to tell my parents and that my phone might be taken away or I'll have less privacy and for a closeted queer where my only current life line is the internet and my online friends: that is a terrifying idea. Idk. I'm fucked basically.

#long post #like long long post #rambling #tw csa #tw grooming #tw suicide attempt #vent #ramble #oof #yeah #mine #actually traumatized #trauma #autistic #depression #ptsd #c ptsd #maybe i dont fucking know #dissociation #traumatized #derealization #depersonalization #online csa #rip to me i guess lmao

[kemeticcalloutsfromthepublic]

We’d like to begin addressing this thread:

here

We apologize for this post being so long but there is just...so much here.

@thetwistedrope response:

“ Anonymous When your "joking with friends" ends with a transwoman in pain and bullied and in tears, an abuse victim having massive anxiety attacks, and another innocent commentator being *bullied into deleting their blgo and then gaslight off the server as a scapegoat, it's gone too far.  Honestly, it would have been better if you and your friends realized you guys went way too far and stopped trying to double down and just admit you went too far and made amends.

None of you can read for shit, I s2g. The screencap of me being “envious” is a completely separate conversation. “

We would like to address that the Anon seems to be referring to a litany of events rather then listing them in chronological order.  We’d like to add that they are making a good point, but would have benefited their position by being chronological.

We‘d like to point out Devo begins with an insult, ironically she and her friends are the ones who have reading issues.  We’d like to mention that the anon is entirely correct.  The events are going to far.

“My part in the situation with Princess Triangle was not bullying. Full stop. “

We’d like to point out that telling a transwoman her fears are “unrealistic”, and she is making excuses, is wrong, but in this mod’s opinion, borders on bullying, and is in fact transphobic.  You told a transwoman her fears aren’t real so she has no excuse to not out herself, stand up and be put in a position of danger as she felt she was in.

“I never told PT to out themself. I mean, they already said that they were out as a trans woman, so how tf you can make someone who is already out, out themself again is a complete mystery to me. “

We’d like to mention, you were among the people telling her to sacrifice her support systems to stand up and “rock the boat” (as she put it).  Something she was terrified of and didn’t want to be the only person standing up and end up the object of ridicule.  Princess Triangle’s position was one of fear of being left alone and the possibility of being ousted, not from “”comfort”” but from a place she felt she was accepted in and she didn’t want to risk that for a fight not really hers.  We’d like to remind you, Devo and her friends, alleviated her of that fear by making it a reality.  For the record “PT” said she was visibly trans.  Princess Triangle stated they felt like they wouldn’t be safe and they would compromise what safety they had in the group.  We’d like to state that whether or not the group would have become hostile is irrelevant to the point that she felt like her life was in danger, and Devo and co. told her to risk it anyways. To her present mind, Pricness Triangle made it clear she feared reprisals, she feared danger, she lived in that fear, irregardless of validity, so for her, it was real, and she was still being told to sacrifice herself.  To those reading, this should be taken seriously, it is this mods opinion, her following statements and thoughts were in line with this thinking and fear.

“Repeat: All you fuckers are reading inaccurate, edited screen caps in regards to the PT incident. “

We’d like you to prove that the 200+ screengrabs are “edited” and “faked” since you want to now conveniently claim it.  We’d also like to mention that Devo’s friends have tried four different defenses to try and escape responsibility and accountability for what they did.  We’d like to discount this baseless claim.  They are quite genuine.  We’d like to add Devo just doesn’t want to admit her own words are against her own defense of innocence.  The screencaps are accurate, and speak for themselves.  The reality is not pretty.

You have had plenty of time to post the “correct” screencaps.  If these were truly wrong, why haven’t you?  (oh yes, of course, smarmy did and they were the same ones we had posted)  Of course, Smarmy using them to refute things probably doesn’t help your case.

“And I’m sorry, but shezep acting like it was okay to state, quite literally, that we were calling PT a nazi is, frankly, asinine and too far.“

We bring you back to reading comprehension.  We’d like to correct Devo’s staggering inability to read, out of convenience, again, Shezep said you and your friends liken everyone who fails to follow your empty moral leftist platitudes are labeled something horrible like a nazis.  Shezep was making a comment about how toxic the left-wing is, how someone must be an evil person because they do not conform to your left-wing ideals.  A point they are absolutely correct on.  We’d like to state that Shezep did not deserve to be shouted down, shit-talked and ridiculed when they left.  Isn’t Shezep trans also?  We do believe that is two transpeople Devo and co. have bullied, not a very good look for those who ‘champion the downtrodden, discriminated, and totally support LGBTQ+ people...as long as they obey and repeat the correct thoughts and opinions.

“Again, I wouldn’t have handled it that way, but it’s not my server. I’m sorry (except I’m not), but I have no remorse for calling PT out on their complacency. “

We’d like to express our surprise that “feeling unsafe and like my life is in danger” is now “complacency”.  Transpeople need support, they need their support systems, and as Shezep correctly states here, trans people are subject to discrimination.  Princess Triangle was unwilling to be put in a position to be discriminated against and you weren’t pleased.  We’d like to express our utter shock that her status as a transperson, something the social justice kemetics have stated before is very important (‘listen to transpeople when they tell you their experience because they know it better then you do.’ we paraphrased) An important point Devo and co. conveniently abandon when a transperson doesn’t agree with them.

“Us white folks who are able to stand up should stand up.“

We’d like to ask, are you then saying that you did tell PT to out themselves and be put in danger? 

“It hasn’t stopped any of you for coming after me because y’all think I’m not doing enough. Does that make you all transphobic? “

Considering we are correct and haven’t expressed positions such as “listen to trans and poc people when they tell you about their experiences, don’t argue with them, just agree”, toting it as extremely important...No.  We are calling out your hypocrisy, when you violate the important positions and moral tenets you espouse to being of import, only to throw them aside like used tissues when they no longer serve you because you can’t use it to brow-beat someone else.  We’d like to remind you, you have no place telling a transwoman to expose herself to discrimination and danger to serve your crusade. 

“Maybe you should look in the mirror before you toss more bricks at my head. “

We would, but the ample heaps of hypocritical trash you and friends hurl into the mirror, seem to have broken it.

“You can get as mad as you want about how other people talked to PT. Some people went a bit far, yes.“

We must express our utter shock at this statement.  Maybe instead of trying to sweep your wrong-doing under the rug you should call ourselves out and lecture each other over why what you did was wrong instead of inventing hollow defenses to try and deflect blame.  We’d like to state we are just holding you to your own moral standards you and your friends constantly spew.  You seem to not meet the requirements you have set.  We’d suggest you stop defending yourselves and stop the mental gymnastics.

“But at the end of the day, you can’t keep acting as if I can magically control what everyone else does or says. “

We’d like to say, no, but they do listen to you and respect your opinion and would fall back and lay off if you told them to.

“And you shouldn’t keep acting like me telling a white trans woman to consider standing up and pushing back in places where its safe to do so is somehow transphobic.“

We’d like to remind you, you participated in beating down a transwoman, told her, her fears aren’t realistic and don’t really matter.  She expressed she didn’t feel safe and that really should have ended the discussion right there.  You went too far, you know you went to far and you got caught.

“And if it is, you all owe many of us an apology for doing the same goddamn thing to us. I can’t tell you how many times ppl get mad because I’m not out there “fighting the good fight” enough. trans status be damned. “

Considering you tell everyone else they have NO EXCUSE not to ever go out and “fight the good fight”, you’re a hypocrite.  You don’t go out and fight the good fight, what gives you the right to demand others do the same when you refuse to? 

“Esp because you’re reading edited screencaps. “

We’d like to ask...Does it comfort you to pretend the screengrabs are faked and edited?  They are, as we stated, legitimate.  Claiming over and over they are edited and fake does not change the reality that they aren’t. You look like a massive transphobic hypocrite.  And you are, the only shame here should be yours.  We would also like to ask, what proof do you have the images were altered?  There is over 200 of them and that is a staggering amount of evidence to edit.

We would address smarmy’s contribution to the post but we will leave that for our cohort if they desire.  This mod sees nothing of substance in the addition that merits response.

We will move on to @heofspeckledplumage contribution.

“I remind everyone that the screenshots posted by Kemetic callouts from the public are being posted by two mods with a well-documented dislike of both Smarm and Devo. Honestly, that seems to be the main point of the blog is to throw accusations at Smarm and Devo until something sticks. “

We’d like to congratulate you on your own inability to read.  For the record, they all stick.  Have you even read our mission statement?  Your shimmering ignorance astounds us, it’s right there on the blog, it requires minimum effort to look, but that is probably too much for you to muster.  To alleviate your smooth lobes of the strain, we’ve linked it for you, here.  We do hope you will be able to understand all the confusing words.

“KCFTP is not a neutral, bias-free entity. They have everything to gain and little to lose by framing the situation on the server as they prefer and by editing screenshots because they post under pseudonyms. There is no connection that anyone is able to draw between them posting there and their Tumblr accounts, and thus no accountability for anything they see on the KCFTP blog. “

We’d like to address that we aren’t, our “bias” is calling out what we see as wrong.  Your friends are very loud, and they say alot of stupid things we need to address and dismantle.  We have alot to do, and they are the ones who say the most hypocritical and rather foolish sentiments, so we call it out.  We’d like to mention the KC blog is anything but impartial and is also run by the same loudmouthed jesters.

We’d like to mention, why should we be held accountable when none of you are either?  You don’t police each other when you’re out of line, so it is rather hypocritical of you to pull the victim card and pretend you are sunshine and gumdrops.  The point of this blog is to correct the community the social justice kemetics have ravaged and pillaged to the point that it has become a toxic and horrible place.  We’d like to point out people leave the community because of the social justice kemetics and not the others you scapegoat.

“It takes about two seconds of thinking before one realizes that this is so they can stir the pot and say whatever baseless things they wish to and enjoy zero repercussions on their main blogs. “

We must say that is beautiful sophistry.  We are astounded you are a mind reader and can accurately report on our thoughts and feelings, what an amazing power.

We’d like to state nothing we’ve said is baseless, the proof is there, it’s easy to spot, but continue to shove your head in your ass and pretend it’s a dream.  We’d like to state, we never see you address your friends wrong-doing, you never step up and tell them when they go too far.  We have to guess you feel they are in the right.  Bullying transpeople, scapegoating someone at random on the server to blame for the screengrabs, labeling everyone a bigot and racist when they disagree, sending suicide anons to people.  You must be complicit in such thinking that these things are ok. 

“They are cowards and everything they say should be viewed through the lens of people who will stop at nothing to twist words to their own advantage. “

We’d like to say, you are confused again.  We understand the kool-aid is very disorienting, let us clarify: We don’t need to twist anything, that would be you and your friends.  Stop yelling at the strawmen, you’re scaring them.

The advantage is already ours because we don’t lie, we tell you the naked truth and why we disagree with your positions, opinions, and how your bullying isn’t just.

With the number of times you and your comrades have twisted other peoples words to your advantage--to the point where you have created entirely false statements, it is the height of arrogance and hypocrisy to accuse us of doing the same. At least we use your own words against you, instead of lies we made up.

“Stop hounding Devo and Smarm. You all need some hobbies. For all some of you talk about piety to the gods you could surely add some shrine time if you did that instead of trying to make Smarm and Devo responsible for everything the Kemetic community does.Quite frankly, y'all need to stop.“

We find this statement hilarious.  We have ample hobbies and shrine time, thank you for your concern.  The ones who need to stop are”y’all” not us.  “Y’all” have chased so many good people out of this community and made it so unsafe this blog became necessary to try and stem the tide of toxic waste you all vomit into the community.  We must say, for all the moral tantrums and hollow posturing you and your friends do, you do little else for this community.  All you people do is demand everyone be a far leftist, if they don’t you all squeal “BIGOT!!!” like a paniced pig.  You preach morality and commit nothing towards it but armchair activism of the vapidly myopic kind.  We’re sick of it.

You are quite right, Devo and smarm are responsible...They caused the rifts in the community.  They chased people away.  They began the drama with their social justice crusades and demands of kow towing to the groupthink.  They turned the community into an unwelcoming place.  And you helped them.

What was that you said earlier about accountability?  You seem to be ok with dismissing any and all accountability when addressed to Devo and smarm, but you want us to be accountable.  How hypocritical of you.  Clearly you need to spend more time in shrine contemplating Ma’at and treating people well, but wait, none of you really do that do you.  We’d like to tell you to close your mouth and try to really take a hard look at your friends antics. 

The hostility they have reduced the community to. 

We’d like you to spend less time being an apologist for these abusive schoolyard bullies, and more time seriously considering Ma’at.

You all act like moralizing puritanical inquisitors hunting for heretics to crucify, and that’s exactly what you do. 

You vilify good people who love the gods, and when an actual racist bigot sauntered into our community...you were all pretty quiet.  We found that very interesting. 

For all the posts and comments declaring how you loathe nazis and bigots and racists, when a real one showed up you lot barely spoke on it other then “just block kay?”

Then you continue on demeaning and denigrating everyone but them. 

You’re a hypocrite and nothing any of you say should ever be listened to.

The evidence piles up, speckled, and your friends weigh heavy on that scale against them.  Before you spread more lies about us (which is against ma’at we believe), sit down and consider if all the people chased away, all the people bullied out of the community, inventing fake racist gods to worship, claiming the Netjeru aren’t really that important to the religion, seeking to escape repercussions by spreading lies, brow-beating people down, corrupting others, and harassing others until they delete their blogs, consider if their actions...are just.  We did, and we viewed it is not so.  So sit.  The. FUCK.  Down!

We care about this religion, this community and we’ve seen the diarrhea you and your friends have excreted on it, turning it into a hostile and unfriendly place.

We are here to make sure, you are all held accountable.  You’re welcome.

--Memphis and Cairo

#transphobia #kemetic fandom #kemetic community #kemeticism #kemetic #community policing

[givelovechooselove]

Thoughts on BLM at Harry’s show

I was chatting with my friend @sparklebootsandspeckledsuits this morning about my thoughts on last night’s show, and she suggested that I post it all on my blog. So if you’re interested, here it is word for word under the cut. If you take issue with it, do what you need to do, but I think at this point I’d like people to know where I stand, if for no other reason, than to know that I used the space I have in this fandom to speak up about something that I think is important. 

Like tbh my issue isn’t really with harry right now. I actually have no clue if he saw the signs or the flag. They are black and white vs rainbow colored, so likely much harder to spot. So I’m not gonna criticize him based on the assumption that he actually saw them, which I just don’t feel like I can say for sure. I also want to acknowledge that Harry might not know much about blm or what it means to people. I know it’s a huge deal in America bc of the way black people have been treated, but I recognize that it’s not yet an international movement like lgbt rights is today. And I have no reason to believe that if harry did fully understand what it’s about that he’d have an issue acknowledging it at his show alongside lgbt rights. Like I keep thinking about how upset people were during otra bc harry wasn’t waving bi or trans flags. But then over time he started to acknowledge those too. Last night was the very first time blm had a real presence at one of his shows (and even still it wasn’t a big presence), so I also feel like people need to just give him a chance. I’m just kind of reserving judgement on Harry’s actions or lack thereof right now bc there’s still a lot i don’t know about the situation.

What I DO know however is that that girl handed out 500 blm signs, explained to people what it was, and asked for their help and then only 10 people did it. It literally costs nothing to hold up a sign for 30 seconds to support poc. There is zero risk involved. Like do you value black lives? Do you believe we have a right to equal treatment? Do you believe we shouldn’t be treated like 2nd class citizens by our leaders? Do you believe we have to right to not be gunned down by police officers at routine traffic stops because of the color of our skin? Do you believe we should enjoy the same safety as everyone else? That we shouldn’t expect our sons and daughters to end up in body bags when we send them off to school? Yes????? Then hold up this fucking sign for 30 fucking seconds and don’t drop it on the damn floor. Like how does every other fan project get support, but not the one that specifically involves the rights of brown people??

And the thing is, whether you think it’s reasonable or fair for people to expect harry to acknowledge blm, you at the very least should not be going around to black fans and calling them stupid for even WANTING that. Like what kind of ugly ass hypocrisy is THAT?? So lgbt people are allowed to want a safe space at Harry’s show, and bi people and trans people and women and people from Puerto Rico but not black people?? And again, I’m not even saying blm NEEDS validation from harry bc it really fucking doesn’t but how can you expect black fans to see Harry leveraging his platform to speak for every single marginalized group EXCEPT theirs and not have hope that he might be willing to acknowledge them too??? I feel like it’s a natural reaction. And all I would like to see is for other fans to try to understand and be supportive of that. Don’t make jabs about how blm is too political or how it’s “unhealthy” for fans to even try to get harry to see their signs. Like what??? It wasn’t unhealthy or too political when lgbt people did it, so what’s changed? What’s different? Like even if harry never said anything about blm, it would probably mean the world to black fans to know that the rest of the fandom sees them and has their back. But that’s not what I’m seeing and that’s what upsets me more than anything. Especially from a group of people who claim to be so loving and “woke”.

And FOR FUCKS SAKE ppl need to stop making this all about harry. Like “blah blah blah stop attacking harry” like!!! No, I don’t believe he deserves an ounce of hate over this but of all the people being attacked right now harry is really the least of my concerns.

Think of all the fans feeling alienated and alone right now please.

Like blm is simply an affirmation that black people are important too. The way that the pride flag is a symbol for the lgbt community and their rights, blm is a way for black people to say we’re proud of who we are and deserve respect like everyone else.

It doesn’t mean other lives don’t matter. It should really be read Black Lives Matter (too).

And that’s the part a lot of people miss.

Like dear white people of the world, we already know you fucking matter because you pretty much never let anyone forget it. How about we give a voice to people who are regularly ignored, overlooked, and oppressed for a change without you getting your feelings hurt? Like this is not about you.

No one is willing to speak up for us, but when we design a movement to speak up for ourselves suddenly we’re doing something wrong.

Last night further proves why in 2017 something like blm even needs to exist. It’s sad.

#harry styles #black lives matter #blm #safe space

[boatspeak]

Some of my favourite dramas from the past half a year, ranked: 

1. Because This is my First Life 

k-drama, 16 episodes, each 1 hour long

So sensitively and personally written. I was sucked into the storytelling and felt as though I was seeing these scenes through the eyes of the characters. Bravo to the scriptwriter; as I was watching it I felt, ah, she must have drawn from some intensely personal and important place. It was not a story anyone could have written. Because This is My First Life follows the stories of three BFFs as they experience, and grapple with, love and marriage. It does not shy away from the complicated sides of these issues - the societal, monetary and financial pressures that love and marriage cannot be separated from, the difficulties of communicating with others honestly yet sensitively. There are some frustratingly incorrigible people in the drama (like sexually harassing superiors), but most of the time the conflicts play out between good people who care for and support each other, yet inevitably butt heads because they have different - and equally valid - views of life. Is it wrong to want to marry and start a family? Is it wrong not to? It was painful at times, I think I cried for some of the characters. Not because they were pitiable, but because sometimes in life there is no right or wrong; you have to make tough choices and it hurts but you have to keep your eyes open and keep watching; keep walking. For the literature lovers out there, especially those who might be sick of gratuitous (often cheesy) quotes inserted randomly into dramas, well, good for you! Characters in Because This is My First Life read and are impacted by (real life) books, and you can see how the books they’ve read influence the way they think, act, and communicate with each other. It’s very realistic and mirrors the way you might consume and digest books in your own life outside of the drama. Oh, the PPL is also wonderfully done and actually contributes to character building.  8-9/10.

2. Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu (I’ll be serious in my next life)

j-drama, 12 episodes, each 1/2 an hour long

One woman, five sex friends. I know. I know it sounds messy and melodramatic and angsty. I hesitated for the same reasons as well. But when I finally got over it and watched the damn thing (very bingeable, totalling at only 6 hours), I regretted not watching it sooner. Raise wa Chanto Shimasu is a breath of fresh air. Most of the characters, whether hypersexual or asexual, are pretty unabashed about it, and I love their self-love. Want to have sex? Go for it, gurl. Don’t want to have sex? Also no problem. The title is an apt one and showcases this message of acceptance. We might have bones to pick with our current lifestyles, but welp, we’ll just be serious in our next lives. As one of the characters said at the end, “we all became independent, working adults, I think we should be proud of ourselves”.  Much needed affirmation in a world of moralising, slut-shaming, virgin-mocking, and expectations to get married and settle down.

Warning: one of the characters in a bi/gay relationship is pretty vocal in denying his sexuality even in front of his partner, and a trans woman was harrassed at one point. These were discomfiting for me. 

3. The Fiery Priest 

k-drama, 40 episodes, each 1/2 an hour long (or 20 hour-long episodes)

Action. Comedy. Kim Nam Gil, who won the Baeksang for this role. Honey Lee. Badass babe. Ahn Chang Hwan, who was so realistic at playing a Thai immigrant my friend who studied Korean for three years didn’t even realise he was Korean. Father Han. One reviewer said he was a literal angel, and I concur. Most dramas leave you with at most three or four characters you really like; this drama makes you fall in love with the whole gang. Everyone has a backstory, or some hidden side that you didn’t expect that just adds so much more dimension when revealed. Where some might find it hard to balance the weight of action and the levity of comedy, dipping too deeply into angst or farce at times, The Fiery Priest manages the tone really well even as the plot deepens and our characters have to deal with deep-seated traumas. I have nothing more to say to promote this drama except, how could you pass on Kim Nam Gil doing action plus comedy MINUS tragedy and the moustache? 

A final note: Technically, The Fiery Priest is a stronger drama than Raise and should deserve the no. 2 spot. The former deals with bigger issues like corruption, morality and forgiveness, while the latter is more light-hearted and deals almost entirely with personal choices. However, some issues Raise touched on were really important to me and came at a time when I really needed affirmation to believe in my beliefs, so it edged out The Fiery Priest in my heart. 

4. 传闻中的陈芊芊 (The Romance of Tiger and Rose) 

c-drama, 22 episodes, each about 45 minutes long

甜。This drama is just Sweet with a capital S. What a refreshing watch, especially for women. I loved not having tugging battles between two men. I loved the respect given to consent. I loved having so many smart and capable women who have conversations with each other that do not revolve around men. I love how the male lead wasn’t hung up on Male Ego and gave his wife space to be herself and make her own decisions and mistakes. A rare gem. I’m sure I will revisit this when I’m tired of the usual ドキドキ tactics involving possession and pulling around 

(If you can read Chinese, I suggest watching it on the 腾讯视频 app with 弹幕 on. I found it pretty hilarious, meaning I laugh-cried so hard in the middle of the night my neighbour knocked on my door to ask if I was ok.)   

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A quick rundown of the dramas and films I’ve watched so far in 2020 so you know the pool I picked these four from: 

Penguin Highway 

good watch. super cute. I cannot over-emphasise how cute the penguins were. It got me into a penguin phase and I’m not out of it even after 7 months...

ぼくは明日、昨日のきみとデートする (My Tomorrow, Your Yesterday) 

good watch. bittersweet.

わたしに××しなさい！(Watashi ni XX Shinasai/Missions of Love) movie and drama special

would pass on the movie (which cherry-picked from the manga but unfortunately left out a lot of important character developing scenes so the relationship didn’t make as much sense as it did in the manga)

but the drama special. Whew. I watched the drama special twice. It’s trashy good. Because it’s basically a spin-off to build hype for the movie, it doesn’t have to follow the plot of the manga, instead taking on the format of a (very cheesy) otome game. So you have all these ikemen saying clichéd toe-curling lines like “I am also a man you know” and getting stuck half-naked bReAthInG HeAviLy in cabinets together but instead of playing it seriously (as the movie would do because it’s supposed to make you feel like they are falling in love), the main character goes huh??? wtf are you saying?? at her otome game screen, which is so realistic and just cracks me up. definitely would rec. 

ごめんね青春！(Gomen ne Seishun/ Saving my Stupid Youth) 

hmmm. so-so? Leading lady Hikari Mitsushima is pretty, cool, and fits the bill of gap moe. Ryo Nishikido is also pretty believable (once you suspend your disbelief that somehow all his students think he looks dorky and are not gushing over his ikemen-ness). Unfortunately, relationship development between the otp happened too late and too suddenly. 

Он – драко́н (On Drakon/ He’s a Dragon/ I Am Dragon)

a pleasure to (re-)watch as always. Lovely visuals. 

Tokyo Ghoul: S

decent! Great performance from Shota Matsuda as the Gourmet. He’s definitely a draw-point for this movie - you can see him being featured heavily in the trailers. 

Strong Girl Do Bong Soon

great drama, would rec! 7-8/10. Points docked for all the digressing they did with monks and gangsters. I loved the otp’s dynamic, how healthy their relationship was. One line that struck me was, “Do you know how you’ve found the right person? When you see yourself in their eyes, you look happy”. It was a reminder that while these are obviously fictional characters, we can and should form relationships where our partners are as supportive of us (and us of them) as our dear otp, and not to settle for less. Also loved the fact that smol Bong Soon is so strong and no one can manhandle her >:-) 10/10 also to rookie actor Jang Mi Kwan, who was absolutely terrifying as the villain. How is he only a rookie??  

Because This is my First Life

see above

The Fiery Priest

see above

선덕여왕 (Great Queen Seon Deok)

hehe I watched it (again). As great as ever. Somehow cried more than I did the previous two times I watched it? Took me a week to get over one of the characters (even though I already went through all that heartbreak the first two times I watched this..) Sayang... Definitely has a special place in my heart. Available in full on youtube with subs. 

传闻中的陈芊芊 (Romance of Tiger and Rose)

see above

来世はちゃんとします (Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu) 

see above

覆面系ノイズ (Fukumenkei Noise/Anonymous Noise)

pretty good! Adapted from a manga but very film-like with its color-corrected shots, many cut-scenes to birds and crashing waves. Shison Jun was great in his intense scene, Ayami Nakajo has the most manga-looking face I’ve seen and Koseki Yuta is my bb as always hahaha he’s appeared in, like, four dramas on this list. 

博多弁の女の子はかわいいと思いませんか？(Don’t You Think Girls Who Talk in Hakata Dialect Are Cute?) 

YES!! I DO!! Wholesome drama packed to the brim with hometown (Hakata) pride). I also loved Okada Kenshi going around looking for Ramen shops hahaha. Now I want to see him host a food discovery show. 8/10. Would rec! 

帝一の國 (Teiichi no Kuni/Teiichi’s Country)

面白い 。Interesting watch! In which a bunch of high school boys in an elite school take their student council elections very seriously and attempts at political hijinks ensue. Suda Masaki and his pals somehow make over-the-top super seem natural. I don’t know how they do it, but it’s pretty good. Peppered with interesting reveals and counter-reveals along the way. 

男子高校生の日常 (Daily Lives of High School Boys)

I liked this! It delivers on what it’s supposed to. As a film, it is very film-like. The background is given a lot of weight in this film, and the director “shows, not tells”. The conversations of our characters are situated in the chatter of their schoolmates, you hear random snippets of conversations drift around, you see the school situated in the mountains, piles of decorations around the hall. This helps in conveying the “daily” nature of what happens in the film - not some life-changing adventure, but a warm high-school memory that is pretty like a paper star in a glass bottle. The boys are also very lovable and dorky in their high-school roles. 

ピーチガール (Peach Girl)

not bad. Typical shoujo manga adaptation storyline, even if the leading quartet do well in their roles. Nagano Mei was especially memorable for me out of the typical shoujo heroine roles I had previously seen her in. Inoo Kei also really looks like a boy from a manga. He has a lot of exaggerated actions, but he pulls them off really well. 

突然ですが明日結婚します (Totsuzen desu ga ashita kekkon shimasu/ It’s Sudden But Tomorrow We’re Getting Married/ Everyone’s Getting Married)

pretty decent. It’s not mind-blowing, but it’s definitely not bad. (Or you could flip it around and say it’s definitely not bad, but it’s not mind-blowing). 

ヲタクに恋は難しい  (Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku)

disappointing. I really wanted to like this film for Takahata Mitsuki and Yamazaki Kento, but there were too many useless musical scenes. 

同期の桜 (Doki no Sakura / Our Dearest Sakura)

Hmmmmmm. About colleagues who become inspired in their work and lives because of their colleague Sakura. I wanted more love but that’s not the main point of the drama so it’s not their fault. It got a bit repetitive towards the end, and I felt there wasn’t enough character development. Another drama I really wanted to like more than I did, because I was looking forward to seeing Takahata Mitsuki, Ryusei Ryo and Mackenyu work together. 

Tokyo Coin Laundry

A mishmash of lost souls meet at a coin laundry. A short drama about running away, making choices, and moving on. Katayose Ryota might have been cool in My Brother Loves Me Too Much, but this was where I first saw him and I prefer him in this. I enjoyed this a lot and even drew a postcard based on this. 7/10. 

兄に愛されすぎて困ってます (My Brother Loves Me Too Much) drama and movie

ok don’t judge; I watched this because my friend said it was pretty good. Katayose Ryota IS pretty cool in this, and Tsuchiya Tao brings to life the quintessential image of the Japanese girl, but if you’re watching this for “so cheesy it’s actually good” I would point you to the Watashi ni XX Shinasai drama special instead. If you do want to watch this though, you should watch the drama before the movie, because they are not standalone. 

Nodame Cantabile

What can I say? Classics are classics. 8/10, would rec. This is my first time seeing Ueno Juri acting, and she’s so believable as quirky Nodame I wondered if this was her actual personality. Straight out of a manga. There was potential for messy love-drama, but this drama took the high road and focused on proper character development instead. Thumbs up! They also did really well in “showing not telling” us the OTP’s relationship development. Rather than declarations of love, you can see it in the little caring gestures and almost subconscious smiles. I liked that too. Though maybe I’ll dock a point for how they treated gay expressions of love - “he’s a man you know” and icky faces - and how much casual manhandling there was against Nodame (exaggerated flying punches... maybe that’s how the manga wrote it?) 

[alteriius]

It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right

In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.

And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;

Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers

“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”

“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”

“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”

“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”

First Few Days Of Dating

“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)

“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)

“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”

“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”

Long-Term Relationships

“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”

“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”

“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”

Self-Care And Self Development

“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”

“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”

“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”

“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”

“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”

“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”

Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash. 

‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.

This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.

#important shit #asexual #acephobia // #long post // #thank you