#and almost seemed proud of me

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

i dont know if this is a wildly shared take but im always ,, enraptured is maybe a fitting description ,, im enraptured by novel wen kexing's (specifically NOVEL wkx's) sanity. alright so he is not the sanest person around, obviously. he is unhinged and unashamed of it. but he is so contained and self-controlled in his insanity.

im used to characters like him, of the same or an equal standing with equal power, history, goal, and personality who end up externalizing their inner demons in some shape or form at some point in the story (or in their own backstory). and i have the impression that wen kexing never really does that. not really. even when he skins the old valley master and bathes the valley in blood, is this the culmination of long years of planning; it is a calculated statement of power. its politics. not explosion. he remains grounded and reachable throughout; and even though describing what he does to crown himself valley master this way is a stretch, i would say it is still within the perimeters of it. it definitely is not anything where he seems to lose his shit.

the one moment when he comes close to a slipping sanity, when he maybe loses his marbles a bit expresses itself so very different to how these moments usually look like; in heavy sorrow, instead of rage. at the end of the main story, when wen kexing has fulfilled a-xiang's wish and killed mo huaiyang to avenge cao weining for her, and when he attains an injury that could turn fatal and is sitting in the shards of his life and really feels the loss of his a-xiang, his little girl in purple. he comes very close to dying there, dying because he cannot bring himself to remember his will to live. and only when zhou zishu asks him whether he wants to live does wen kexing seem to regain some spirit. only when zhou zishu tells him he is not going to leave him, does wen kexing regain his hope. and this is so interesting because this is not an explosion of rage, it is not violent. its just grief and sorrow, as simple and mundane as that. it makes him seem ,, well, not human, because rage is human too ,, maybe common. an everyman. i find that absolutely insane.

how can a guy like wen kexing, with a life and a lived experience like wen kexing, rettain his steadiness, his psychological stability, to that degree? absolutely maddening

#tian ya ke my beloved #tian ya ke #wen kexing #wen kexing from tyk #this is what i mean when i say wkx seems more 'human' than zzs btw #zzs is so controlled its unnatural. hes like an ice block. #i guess bc wen kexing has lived the way he does is he so calm without resorting to violent outbursts of emotions or dissociative control #kinda similar to how he seems to be a proud homosexual because of trial by fire and not freedom of choice #he seems like a guy who has gone through hell and refined himself to a degree there that is ALMOST sane #so on the surface he looks like everyone else. he could pass for an everyman. zzs comments on this once; saying that its easy to forget #and this paradox this similarity this mirror imaging thats so fascinating to me #absolutely incredible when you think about it for a bit

[mel-loly]

us!

Hey silly!! Hru? How's your day going?? :]

That's really canon!! Also- I kind of made a little comic about this but with c!melple, so.. Yeah, hope you like it! :D💖

#I did it with great affection and that's why it took me so long to answer you! #so I hope you weren't sad or thought I wasn't going to answer you.. #I already wanted to do that kinda of comic for a long time. like- #I had almost exactly come up with an entire idea with something like that pic/art before you sent me the ask! #I just needed a pic or an incentive to start tbh and so... yeah. #just because of you. I'm now happy to have put it into practice and completing one more item on my list of arts! <3 #also thank you and know that I love you a lot. mike :] #(I know. it seems to be very small and easy to do but it was actually not easy at all.. #because I did it first in just some small squares and then put it in this type of “three” to look like a comic. #but then to fit each one it was a little difficult and you can even see that it got a little “disproportionate” but anyway- #still i'm glad i did it and i feel proud for trying to do something like this :DD) #hey dear mike!!! #mike my beloved/p #mike manple #my platonic silly #sweet asks #asks #i'm mel and this is my blog✌️ #my art blog #art #my art #art mel #my art style #c!mel loly #my oc character #c!melple #c!manple #my boyfriend oc #king duo #original comic

[chiropteracupola]

a little pain now, to save a great deal more pain later

[flintlock fortress is a collaboration with @dxppercxdxver]

#em draws stuff #flintlock fortress #team fortress 2 #blood #today on the em cupola show: wild self-indulgence. but hey I feel Bad so I'll draw what I Like. and today that's medical procedures. #someone leaned over my shoulder while I was drawing this and asked 'is that bloodletting' and they were Almost Right so I'm endlessly proud #in fact it is smallpox inoculation! #sorry to everyone who I have bothered with my Smallpox Talk in recent memory but It Will Happen Again. #the game style itself is kind of rockwell and leyendecker-y to me so I wanted to do something with a similar look to their work #had a lot of goals for this piece and I think I really did achieve all of them quite nicely #could I keep these guys recognizable without showing their full faces? yes I think so! #could I make 'getting a mild case of smallpox with the lads' seem a bit romantic even? yes to that too. #also. scout tattoos make an appearance. (do not go looking for them in any other art of him on account of I Forgor) #and a new look for ansel (this man dresses Boring but that is no fun for me to draw) #'backstory relevant' I say as I do not discuss any of these guys' backstories again. #'that's for us to know and for you to find out' I say while giving you no way at all to find out #have been in a constant state of 'by gosh having a little less blood in me would make this situation better' for several days now #and while I am using Normal methods to improve the situation drawing such things does work a bit to heal the mind #'we're doing just fine' says local guy who is madly drawing the same guys over and over again

[yo9urt]

video games....

#mine #i love my steam deck sooooooooo much im so happy i can actually play games again like a big proper library of them #and everything #everything on steam AND emulators is available to me. do you know how many games that is! #i started a new beegee3 playthrough on the HARDEST DIFFICULTY (!) today. which is also a single-save difficulty #and im in one of the most difficult parts of the game right now (level 4) and kind of nervous lol #but at the same time im really proud of myself for learning the game to the point i feel comfortable challenging myself in it #and im happy i get to at all :D i love you video games #and sooner or later ill come back to stardew valley cause there was that big update and i have some games on my wishlist too #and its not verified yet but i might play that pomeranian making the house dirty game cause it looked cute #oh and yakuza also because my friend got two of the yakuzas for me #YAYYYYY GAMES #also kind of sad though because tomorrow i pack and sunday i go back for babys last quarter of college #and im worried about how busy its going to be with classes and job apps and then of course actually graduating #and moving out and haivng a job and stuff #when all i want is to enjoy being able to play video games again.... sig #sigh* #WHATEVER...future mes problem #oh i almost forgot...one of the best parts of the deck imo is the versatility because with games like beegee3 #you can play it in controller mode which has its pros and cons but you can also swap to computer mode #which also has its pros and cons so like. i can adjust as needed #when im just exploring or trying to loot an area etc i go controller #but when im in combat i go computer because the hotbar is REALLY helpful for decision making #its really nice to have the option to choose since no console players have that it seems #and the only pc players who can do that are the ones who have and are willing to connect controllers #and most of them dont seem to be into that #but im really glad to be able to do both #ok done yapping now

[m80495]

|| OutOfCombat ;;

Happy Sinday here's a bunch of my best (worst) Mercury tweets.

And my magnum opus:

#whatever; you want me | sinday #outofcombat | ooc #twitter: mercury #<- Not a tag I forsee myself using in the future but. Just in case #|| Almost none of these jokes are mine they're all stolen from tumblr twitter facebook etc #|| I can write and have written him seriously but this is funnier. To me. #|| Also mercringe is the best username ever and I'm very proud of it. #|| This is a scheduled post God knows if I'll actually be awake once it goes up #|| Something that I enjoy about the twitter rp format is just posting whatever the fuck #|| Tumblr seems a lot more serious and literacy focused #|| Little intimidating compared to what i'm used to but we'll get there

[callmegodorvega]

Repeat Until death by Nova Armor is so the Black Brothers

#like #come on #it’s them #marauders era #regulus black #sirius black #vega’s shit show #black brothers #sibling angst #the best kind of angst #‘Snow brother I'll bet it all gold’ #?!?!?! #‘Don't go you're half of me now But I'm hardly stood proud I said it almost’ #HE SAID IT ALMOST #‘Oh I had it almost We had it almost’ #they almost had it #almost #Im breaking my own heart rn #‘Oh I can't seem to let myself leave you But I can't breathe anymore Oh I can't seem to not need to need you And I can't breathe anymore’ #can you hear my heart shattering?? #marauders fic #marauders fandom #remus lupin #jegulus #james potter #lily evans #marlene mckinnon #peter pettigrew

[aelyosos]

guysss i did a big thing 2day ! i drove down to the local supermarket for the first time in… yrs

#sam.txt #i used to b such a good driver !! i drove everywhere and loved 2 drive #then one day an Incident happen and i almost couldn’t make it back home cuz my phone died #i was able to call my mom cuz my phone finally came bck and i was able to use it despite the low battery #but i’d been on the highway and terrified i wouldn’t b able to reach any1 #for whatever reason it scared the shit outta me and i stopped driving #i’m lucky i had the luxury to b able to stop #anyway i’m proud of myself !!! it’s been at least 2 or 3 yrs and to b able to do this…. #seems so silly ! but progress 💪

[pepprs]

i know i need to shut up abt it esp bc i don’t know for sure if i actually got exposed to covid but like. it’s just so fucking frustrating and terrifying. not just in the case of covid but with other things too like driving. you can take every precaution to keep yourself and the people around you safe but all it takes is one selfish careless asshole who can negate that in a heartbeat and ruin your life or maybe even end it in some circumstances. lol

#purrs #ask to tag #complete and utter despair about it all. i feel like such a freak for telling everyone to be safe and be careful all the time but this world #is so fucking scary and we are so fucking helpless. how can i not cast out this desperate fucking plea. this prayer. that harm will not #befall you even if it’s something as small as a drive to the store or a trip to a new place. i just live in fear of the people i love #getting hurt all the time and of myself getting hurt. and covid is fucking scary because we still don’t fuckng know how bad it is really or #what it can do to you in the long term and there’s no way to know if you have it until you find out you have it bc this fucking nightmare #country gutted all the covid infrastructure so it’s like. it’s just really bad. im so scared. ive been so proud of myself lately bc i feel l #like even though im still not doing great ive been less miserable and anxious like a couple months ago i was having breakdowns almost daily #and i feel like ive been getting better and this just has thrown me so bad. there are other things going on too ofc so i know im reacting #really strong but like. throwback to all the asks i just answered where anons were like idk how you even function witb the amount of anxiety #you carry with you all the time and i was reading that like but not anymore! and it turns out… no it’s still there. it just was summer and #i interacted with fewer people and went almost nowhere. and now the semester is starting again and everything is changing and it’s just. bad #also addendum to the first part of my tags: i wish i was brave enough to ask ppl to like. text me when they get to their destination safe or #whatever. i almost never think of it bc it just seems like such a forward boundary crossing thing to do + it was a bad habit from when my #separation anxiety was MUCH worse as a kid. but like… i want o do it and sometimes i need to but i repress it so hard. lawl #also to say i love you sometimes. some ppl it’s really easy and we do it all the time. others i can’t bc it crosses boundaries and it #physically hurts not to. lolll

[undermostcorgi]

the media which consumes your entire soul at age 12 will forever be a part of you. this is an unavoidable consequence of living and you have to accept this fact. no matter how old you get, no matter how long it has been since you last saw its smug face peeking out from the bushes as it follows you, no matter if you think you have outrun it for good and that you're finally finally safe and you hardly even remember it exists anymore and your brain knows a few brief moments of true peace, it WILL catch up to you in your moment of weakness. and listen you don't want to hear this but sometimes this is necessary for your mental health. you will on instinct want to reject it and run away again but sometimes. sometimes you just need to watch that old show or listen to that silly song or read that weird book again as an adult and it will hurt you a little bit in various little ways but it will also heal you a little bit. you can call it nostalgia you can call it connecting with your inner child or whatever you want but just listen to me it WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO AT SOME POINT AND YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THIS (i am forcibly dragged off the stage by security)

#heed my warning boy #it seems i am not well today #recently made the reluctant decision to revisit what was probably my VERY FIRST real hyperfixation #something that i don't necessarily want to mention by name right now because. well #its pretty objectively bad LOL like i dont think i know of ANYONE still posting about it or really proud of having liked it back in the day #i dont think it is as well known to the general public so it wont get me hunted down for sport even if i did name it probably hopefully #but for those who know its. probably not the best thing to be revisiting lmao (even though i think it might still be being made?? wtf) #but i felt i had to because i was about to start my period and was going crazy insane like you do you know how it is #and i randomly remembered a fanfic i loved and then remembered my fav character and how much i loved him #my actual first ever blorbo oh my GOD he was everything to me #so i reluctantly decided to rewatch “just the first few episodes” just to see how much i remembered and also to prove to myself it sucks #but surprise surprise: nostalgia and hormones are making me actually kind of enjoy it #and now i am suffering from fucking Catholic-like Guilt for not hating it which i think is pretty silly lmao #so im kind of posting this in an attempt to convince myself that its like. FINE and cringe is dead and all that #and that sometimes i gotta be nice to my little mentally ill brain and give it the junk food (bad media) it craves #ESPECIALLY when im on my period LMAO #anyway completely unrelated: why the FUCK do i still remember almost every single fucking word to the delicious tomato song SDHJFKSAJF #i hope no one actually reads this far in the tags bc i know that reveal will probably deal psychological damage to some of you LMAO SORRYYY #ok yeah posting this and then immediately going to bed so that the Haters cant reach me LOL SEE YA

[momiji-kitsune]

Dad: You're such a good girl.

Dad, backtracking: I mean, you're such a good person.

Dad, taking it a little too far: You're such a good [name].

#like #he had it #he did it #he used the wrong words and corrected himself without prompting #I was so proud for a moment #and then he made it seem like I was the unreasonable one by always insisting he use gender neutral language for me #it almost felt sarcastic #dads #parents #whyyyyy

[sunberry-strawflower]

Wow project sekai you think you're funny

#this happens so much I stg😭 #not just in project sekai but other rhythm games like project diva and bandori #and sif2 #like yesterday I almost got a project diva perfect TWICE and that ONE MESS UP IS ALWAYS THERE TO HAUNT #I love rhythm games but they don't seem to feel the same💔 #at least saki's still proud of me #project sekai #proseka #pjsekai #colorful stage #hatsune miku project sekai #hatsune miku colorful stage #I feel like I'm missing other names #why does this game have so many names omg #pjsk #ok I'm done these are enough names #don't think rhythm games results has a tag #or if it does if anyone rlly looks through them #but I'mma add it anyway #rhythm game results #shoutout to you if you found this post by looking through rhythm game results tag lol #💬

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@allvalley100

Prompt: Early Bird

Pairing: YasMoon

@karatecaulfield bets lesbians getting into trouble <3

***

Moon swears they’ve just gotten crossed when the sun comes up.

“Where’d the night go?” Moon flicks an incense-dusted towel at Yasmine. She slides her feet into her friend’s lap, the movement as natural as breathing.

“We’re ridiculous. Loveseat over there’s worth 4 grand...and yet here we are.” Yasmine pats the floorboards, rolling her eyes.

“This helped.” Moon waggles the mostly-empty cheap wine they nicked from Yasmine’s parents’ cabinet.

She laughs, eyes gleaming.

“God. You’re the coolest person I know, and I get to see you every day. I’m the luckiest bitch in the world.”

Moon thinks she is, too.

***

When the morning came we Were cleaning incense off your Vinyl shelf 'cause we lost track of time again Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend "How'd we end up on the floor anyway?" you say "Your roommate's parents' cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how" I see you every day now

#allvalley100 #yasmoon #yasmine x moon #moon x yasmine #yasmine cobra kai #moon cobra kai #cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #when this takes place </3 #these two got into so much trouble together I just know it #and their parents pretended not to notice when they stole their wine but like #they were probably secretly proud XD #Yasmine especially seems like the type who has parents who partied hard in their youth #hell maybe they still do #and that's why Yas is...like she is :( #but anyways I love writing simple blissful happy moments between these two #that probably seem so bittersweet later on #when their relationship gets more complicated and they actually have to address their feelings #Maroon will forever be a Yasmoon song #has me in almost as much of a chokehold as the 10-minute all too well

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

me when i’m constantly grappling with my own nature and locked in a futile yet never-ending battle with the immutable essence of identity

#gonna put aroallo into my bio. #shouldn’t be a big deal on tumblr (land of the aspecs) but it is To Me #i may seem confident and proud when it comes to being aroallo but in truth ‘tis mostly wishful thinking lol #like i know it’s a beautiful wonderful thing to be and nothing will ever change my mind abt that #but at the same time i have all this like. internalized guilt and shame. bc society hates us lol #crazy how you can hold a strong opinion 100% and yet have frequent thoughts that oppose it because Society #almost no representation. constant societal messages that demonize us. gets tiresome! #the assumptions that some people make about us are awful and i am not a fan of them! #but also i do want to put it in my bio bc it’s important to me #i have a lot of thoughts about this but i’ll save them for another time #anyway doing this on aro visibility day because today feels like the right day for it #deep breath here we go and happy pride 💚💛 #my words #personal

[merrilark]

I did it!!! The big hurdle with my latest job is done. I can finally start making better progress and I am s o relieved to be finished with that particular hump. Hallelujah.

#it is now almost sunrise LOL but. it was worth the extra work. i am finally finally finally satisfied. #and!! actually kinda proud of what i turned in. this is the first time in a while where i've felt really good about my work. #seems the agonizing and several over-nighters paid off. #merri mumbles #ohmystars now that i'm not hyperfocused on work i can feel my lower back screaming at me #forgive me back i'm sorry but sacrifices had to be made

[larrysballetslippers]

.

#i think I have done a lot of growing lately #if I think 4 years back... I wouldn't react the way I do now #I wouldn't have been so okay right now #damn if 16 year old me would have been here what would she have done? #I am so proud of that little girl who learned to become who I am today #not even talking about 13 year old me 10 year old me #she thought she'd never make it to 18 #look at me now #almost 21 #and now I can see myself make it to 30 to maybe even 40 #I can see how much I still have to grow but it doesn't seem that scary anymore #at least today it doesn't #hmmmm I should go catch my bus #proud of you little liyah

[taffy-glitch]

FINISHED THRONÉ'S STORY!!! now i can finally take her out of my party for a little bit lol

#that was pretty fucked up not gonna lie! #well. 1 final chapter down 7 to go! #ALSO i really like how the characters seem to have their own versions of the final boss theme!! #im also proud to say the boss only took me two tries #i tried once just to see what it was like and was like ok! im underleveled #so i did a bit of grinding with my chosen party (castti temenos ochette. the gang) and once everyone was almost level 40 i faced him again #and it went pretty well! #ot2 spoilers #jort post