Tumgik
#and also i am the dumbest member of our friend group
hurremshiv · 3 years
Text
Being the only person in my friendship group not doing postgrad next year feels weird.
12 notes · View notes
kodzuvii · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
CLUB STUPID [EXTRA: there’s a pretty girl in our kitchen]
PAIRING - suna x fem!reader ft. suna rizu aka the little sister :)
GENRE - crack + fluff
warning - just grammar and spelling mistakes lol + y/n cuts her finger + y/n is implied to be really short + suna is a bit ooc but that’s because he’s a simp for you <3
wc - 7k
SYNOPSIS - Club Stupid, an anonymous podcast meant for the dumb and dumbest to send in unspoken and nonsensical thoughts about issues they face in their day to day lives and for Y/n to speak out and give her opinions and feelings. Normal feelings though, nothing romantic like how she thinks this lazy guy with questionable hair in the volleyball club is actually pretty cute.
a/n: bringing this baby back because we recently hit 5k notes :D this is also my peace offering for my sudden absence on this blog LMAO sit back and enjoy as we catch up with suna and yn as well as witness whipped!suna 
Tumblr media
[Somewhere at the start of December]
“I don’t understand”
“Don’t understand what?”
“You’re the one who failed your test, why am I the one buying groceries?”
“Because I paid during our last date”
“Rin, I’m helping you study. Does this even count as a date?” 
You looked down at your hands that were holding bags full of ingredients you needed to make some sukiyaki. With the boys being on break from volleyball, Suna had texted you after school asking for help to review for a retake on a test he failed. 
You had to take a double-take while reading the text because, Suna? Studying? Willingly? A rare combination.
The original plan was to go straight to his house since his family owned a really nice kotatsu table that also acted as a couch. With winter settling in and the weather starting to get much colder, you and Suna quickly realized that neither of you enjoyed going out during this time of the year. Sure, the snowflakes were pretty, but sitting comfortably under a warm kotatsu surrounded by snacks while you tried to get his mind around trigonometry sounded more appealing
Suna looked down at you, “You’re acting as if you’re not craving a hot pot right now,” You rolled your eyes, “I never said I wasn’t craving it, I just know that I’m gonna be doing most of the work because your ass can’t cook” you reasoned. Suna shrugged, “not my fault you decided to upgrade your cooking skills during the past 5 months we’ve been together” You rolled your eyes and buried your face deeper into Suna’s scarf that was wrapped around your neck in an attempt to cover up the blush rising up on your cheeks. 
A smug smile came upon Suna’s lips as he watched you get embarrassed. You two were still going strong and had hit 5 months just a week ago. Even though you both had your minor little arguments here and there, you were both still content and happy with each other. 
With 5 months flying by, Suna didn’t think that it was possible for him to fall for you even more. By now, you had both settled into a comfortable state in your relationship. Regular dates about once or twice during the week with a couple of sleepovers and late-night facetime calls thrown in between. Since it was colder, he had at least two hoodies on him at all times. One for you and one for him (but he wouldn’t mind if you took both.) He enjoyed seeing the sight of you curled up in his hoodie when you stayed over at his place or when found himself keeping you company as you edited your podcast for the week.
Once the second semester of the school year started, you started to branch out a little bit more on your own and found yourself being busier as you started joining clubs of your own interest. 
Sure Suna was a bit disappointed that he wouldn’t be seeing you sitting by the bleachers anymore during practice, but he understood that you had your own passions and needed your own group of friends outside of the boys on volleyball team.
He liked seeing the smile on your face when you talked to him about something your friend had said or about how fun of a day you had after hanging out with them. He had to reassure you many times that he didn’t mind you hanging out with other people at all, you both knew and did your best to balance your time with friends and each other anyways.
Plus, he thought it was quite cute that you’d always give him a quick kiss on the cheek when you’d walk by the water fountain before running off with your club members.
[“Suna hurry up!” he heard Atsumu call for him by the entrance of the gym. 
Suna spared him one glance before straightening himself up and lifting his palm off the button of the water fountain. He gave the setter a nod as he wiped the corner of his lip with the back of his hand. 
Just then, he could hear a familiar voice calling for his name behind him. Not too long after that, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a chaste kiss pressed on his cheek. The corner of his lip twitched up and he looked down to meet your e/c eyes. “Hey bub, don’t you have club activities?” he asked. You nodded, still not letting go of his waist, “just wanted to come and say hello, so...hello” you grinned. Suna smiled and pressed a kiss to your temple, “well hello to you too” he muttered before wrapping his arms around you and embracing you with all his warmth. 
“Y/n you piece of shit there you are!” 
You jumped back at the sound of your friend’s voice from around the corner. You pulled out of Suna’s embrace and gave him an apologetic smile while rubbing the back of your neck, “Sorry Rin gotta run, see you after school!” you didn’t even give him a chance to respond as you placed one last kiss on his jaw before running off to your friends. 
Even though he could hear the faint yelling of Atsumu’s voice calling for him at the back of his head, his eyes were focused on the way your face turned red as your friends teased you. 
God, who let you be so damn cute]
Suna took out one of his hands from the pocket of his coat and wrapped it over your shoulder and pulled you a bit closer to his side. You leaned into his side and let your hair rest lightly onto his chest.
“You’re so annoying, I’m not making any hot pot for you”
“I will lock you outside of my house”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
Stepping inside the Suna household, you were instantly met with warmth. Suna flickered the lights on as you slipped off your shoes. Suna slipped off his own jacket and motioned for you to give yours to him as well so he could hang it up inside the coat closet. You smiled and put the groceries you were holding in one hand and let him help you shrug off your coat. 
“Here give me your bag, I’ll place it by the couch,” he said with his hand out. You nodded and handed him your backpack as you slipped on some house slippers and made your way towards the kitchen and settled the bags down onto the island. 
As you took the ingredients out of the bag, Suna walked into the living room and turned the TV on to a random show. You were way too invested in deciding which vegetables you wanted to include in the hot pot that you didn’t hear Suna walk towards you with his phone in his hands and the camera app open.
“Babe smile”
“Huh”
Just as you looked up, with mushrooms and green onions in your hand, you hear the sound of the camera shutter go off and Suna snicker. “Cute” he grinned. 
You rolled your eyes, “I thought you only took blackmail of the twins” Suna put his phone down and raised his eyebrows at you, “would you rather have your face or Atsumu’s all over my gallery?” he asked. You thought about it for a minute before nodding, “yeah no never mind you have a point” he chuckled and walked over to you and placed a kiss on your cheek. 
“I need to grab my charger really quick, you know where everything is right?” you nodded, you’ve been over at the Suna residence before and this wouldn’t be the first time you’ve cooked there. 
“Do you need anything upstairs?” he asked. Your ears perked up at the sound of his offer, “Can I borrow a hoodie?” you asked. Suna eyed you up and down, “you’re already wearing one of my hoodies” he stated and narrowed his eyes on the navy blue hoodie over your figure. “No, no, I mean can I wear the really soft one? The black one with the embroidering and cool design on the back” you smiled and gave him a look that you both knew he couldn’t say no for. 
Suna knew what hoodie you were talking about, it was a hoodie that you often wore of his that he hasn’t brought to school in a bit since it was in the laundry. “Think of it as your payment for me since I’m cooking you a meal” you grinned. Suna sighed, “fine, hands up,” he said as put his phone into his pocket and made his way over to you. 
You giggled and did what you were told and lifted your arms up and watched as he held onto the ends of the hoodie and lifted it over your head. Once you felt the sleeves of the hoodie be pulled off your arms, you put them down and straightened your hair and your shirt and smiled up at him, “thank you~” he rolled his eyes “you’re lucky you’re cute” he muttered and looked away which made you laugh. You made your way back to the kitchen and heard his steps going up the stairs.  
You sighed as you eyed down the ingredients, you forgot to ask him if his parents may have wanted some. You didn’t wanna cook too much and not have the means to finish it all but you also didn’t wanna make too little and leave you both hungry. “Better more than less” you thought. 
You turned around and grabbed the cutting board from one of the cabinets and a knife from one of the drawers. Placing the cutting board and the knife on the marble island, you grabbed the bagged vegetables and placed them on a clean plate and discarded the plastic in the trash bin beside the fridge. You ran the vegetables under some water from the sink to clean them before placing them back on the plate and setting them to the side so you could grab another pot and start boiling the water on the stove.
You were silently thankful that Granny and Shin had helped you learn how to make a proper hot pot. As you opened the packet of udon noodles, you were too much in your zone to notice what was happening around you. 
Your cooking was sometimes a hit or miss and with the day you’ve had, you were hungry, and the last thing you wanted was for the meal you took some time to make to taste terrible and leave you hungrier than when you started. The sound of the TV playing in the background drowned and you focused your attention on the cabbage you were cutting. 
You were way too concentrated on making sure that each cabbage slice was the same in length as the rest that you failed to hear the sounds of the front door opening and closing and a female figure walking into the home. 
“Nii-san~oh what the fuck since when did you cook-”
The sudden voice coming into the kitchen and cutting through your concentration made you jump and unfortunately for you, your finger slipped off the cabbage and met the blade of the knife you were using. 
“Oh shit” you hissed in pain and lifted your finger off the cutting board. However, instead of immediately tending to the cut, you looked up at the figure to whom the voice belonged to. 
You looked up and made eye contact with a little girl who was definitely not that much shorter than you. Judging from her middle school uniform, she was definitely between the ages of 11-13. She had brown hair tied into two pigtails, rosy cheeks that were the result of the weather outside, and slim grayish-yellow eyes that were awfully familiar. 
Your brain must’ve short-circuited as two and two didn’t click in your head and a good couple of seconds passed as you both stared at each other in complete silence, mirroring the shocked and confused expression both of you had on your faces. 
Just as you were about to open your mouth and say a word, you watched her face become completely red and she dashed up the stairs leaving you stunned and completely lost while your finger continued to bleed. 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
Suna hummed to himself as he rummaged through his closet and tried to find the hoodie of his that you were asking for. He had changed out of his uniform into some more comfortable clothes and had his back towards the door. 
“Shit, where did I put it?” he muttered to himself and closed the doors to his closet. Just as he turned around, the door to his room opened making his eyebrows furrow in annoyance at the amount of force that was used to open his door. 
“Babe did you need something-”
“Nii-san! There’s a pretty girl in our kitchen!”
Oh, that was definitely not the voice of his girlfriend.
Suna sighed and went back to his task of finding the hoodie that you wanted, completely ignoring the sudden appearance of his little sister. However, a small smile tugged on his lips as he heard his sister call you pretty. 
His sister came into his room and looked at her brother in annoyance as she noticed how nonchalant he looked, “hello?? There’s a pretty girl downstairs that is definitely not ‘kaasan so who-” “Idiot. That’s my girlfriend”
His sister blinked at him once,
Then once again,
And one last time just for good measure.
“HUH??” she yelled with a face of disbelief. Suna looked at her weirdly and watched as she flopped down onto his bed with a bewildered expression as she tried to wrap her mind around the new information she was just given. 
“You? Girlfriend? For real?” she asked in shock. The concept of her brother actually getting a girlfriend not clicking in her head. “Are you sure she’s not some group project partner or something?” Suna scrunched his face, “Why do you look so shocked, I told you about her before-” “Nii-san I thought you were lying!” she exclaimed. Suna gave her a blank look and sighed, a part of him not even surprised that his sister thought he was joking.
He rolled his eyes and walked over to slap the back of her head, “Stupid. Why would I lie about that” She gave him an exaggerated shrug, “uh because she’s too pretty for you! She’s even cooking for you! I’m calling it right now that she’s too good for you” she stated and crossed her arms. 
“Rizu, you’re so stupid I swear to god-” he asked. Rizu shook her head “Don’t blame this on me!” Suna gave her an unamused look, “even ‘kaasan and ‘tosan know” Rizu rolled her eyes, “I thought they were in on the joke too!” she exclaimed.
Suna shook his head but took a sigh of relief as he finally found the hoodie he was looking for hanging on the back of his chair, “You’re such a twerp. Did you at least say hi to her?” he asked as he looked down at her once he got the hoodie. Rizu’s face flushed in embarrassment and she scratched the back of her head, “Kinda I guess” Suna narrowed her eyes as he caught on to how nervous she got. He suddenly got suspicious, “what did you do?”
“Nothing bad! I think? just don’t get mad ‘kay?” Suna already began to worry about what she was gonna say. 
“I came in and called for you, but I didn’t know she was cooking so she must’ve been startled and then next thing you know I come in, and we make eye contact and -oh yeah good job Nii-san, you might be stupid but you’ve got a good eye. She’s wow, took my whole breath away you know?- anyways I had to take a sec to admire her, but I think I startled her and I think she cut herself because her finger was bleeding and then I panicked and yeah now I’m here,” she said all in one breath and met eyes with his blank once as she gave him a bright smile. 
“Rizu”
“Hm?”
“I’m gonna throw out all your posters”
“Wait what?! No Nii-san come back!!”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
“Rizu say sorry”
Your eyes shifted from your boyfriend who was wrapping a paw patrol bandaid on your finger to the same little girl who stood beside him and was sheepishly looking down at the floor and avoiding all eye contact with you. 
Suna sat you down on a chair in the dining room and a part of you was zoning out as you tried to wrap your mind around what was happening. Looking at the girl who has a striking resemblance to Suna, it didn’t take a genius to know that this was his sister. They had the same striking eyes, cocoa brown hair, and she was even a bit taller for her age. 
There was no denying it, this was definitely his sister. 
But for the life of you, you can’t remember if your quiet bean pole of a boyfriend ever told you of her. Surely you would’ve remembered if he had told you. Did he forget? Or maybe you just failed to notice her presence. Then again you had been over multiple times but you don’t ever remember seeing her. 
“Sorry” she muttered quietly and began to play with the material of her school uniform top. 
Suna rolled his eyes and nudged her with his elbow, “at least look at her when you’re gonna say it” Just as you were about to interject and say that it was okay and it really wasn’t a big deal, Rizu looked up at you, her eyes glassy and her lip slightly jutting out as she puffed her cheeks, “I’m so sorry! You’re very pretty! My head malfunctioned! Please don’t break up with Nii-san! He’s lonely!” she cried. Your eyes widened, taken back by her “apology” and Suna only rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue in annoyance.  
“I-it’s fine really, it’s just a small cut anyways, no biggie Rizu-chan” you assured.
At the way you said her name, Rizu’s whole mood flipped. Her eyes instantly sparkled and she looked up at you with a face of adoration. She wiped away her tears away with the sleeve of her top and harshly pushed her brother to the side making him let go of your hands as he stumbled over. Your eyes widened at the amount of strength inside the little girl in front of you as she managed to push away your 6ft tall boyfriend to the side like it was nothing. 
“Really? Are you sure it’s okay? Y/n right? I’m gonna call you Y/n-chan! I think we’d make great friends” she beamed, her eyes still twinkling as she looked at you with an excited daze. “How come we’ve never met before? I thought Nii-san was lying about you. Do you like drama? how about musicals? You can come to my show next week! And are you sure you’re dating Nii-san? You can run now I can distract him for you-” your mind couldn’t even process the words she was saying with how fast she was talking. You felt your palms starting to get clammy and a part of you began internally panicking at how overwhelmed you were feeling.
In Rizu’s perspective, she had always wanted an older sister but was instead cursed with (in her words) a musty older brother. Now that she knew of his girlfriend, she wasn’t gonna let the opportunity slip away. They were gonna become the best of friends. She knew it.
You laughed nervously and nodded along during her incoherent ramble before turning to Suna with a slight look of panic as you didn’t know what to do or how to handle her sudden change of emotions and the never ending fountain of words leaving her mouth. 
Suna sensed your need for his help, he knew that little kids were never really your strong point. Along with Kita, you also lived with his little siblings who were your little cousins. They were the ages of 4 and 9 and you often complained to him about how they gave you a headache with how loud and rambunctious they were. 
He had to hold back a laugh at how panic you began to look when his sister began to talk your ear off. She kept switching topics and was now rambling on about how pretty you were and asking what moisturizer you used because your skin looked so soft and why you decided to date her brother who she considered looked like a malnourished raccoon. 
Shaking his head and holding back a smile, he walked over and flicked his sister’s forehead making her stop midway into her sentence and whine. “The hell was that for!” she cried as she rubbed the sore spot on her head. 
Suna rolled his eyes at her dramatics and stuffed one of his hands into his pockets while the other found its way to rest on the small of your back, drawing shapes on the cotton fabric of the black hoodie that he slipped onto your figure when he got back downstairs. “Stop being so rude brat. Relax and introduce yourself first before you start thinking about getting buddy-buddy already” he scolded in his usual bored tone.
You were baffled. Seeing your boyfriend act like a responsible big brother was something you were definitely not prepared to see today. 
Hell, you didn’t even know he had a sister until literally a couple of minutes ago. 
Suna felt you staring at him and looked down at you with one of his brows slightly raised up as if he was asking if you were okay. Before you could reassure him that you were fine, Rizu cleared her throat and took a step back from you. 
She put a hand on her hip while she proudly pointed her thumb to her chest as she looked at you with a confident and prideful smile. “Suna Rizue, Rizu for short, Class 2-B Representative and Vice president of the Nobara Middle School drama club” she exclaims proudly. She flipped away one of her pigtails back behind her shoulder before crossing her arms, the same prideful smile never leaving her lips while her eyes had a flash of mischievousness in them. “I’m also known around this household as the prettiest Suna sibling. ‘Kaasan said so herself” she spoke triumphantly. 
You stifled a laugh as Suna clicked his tongue and muttered “dramatic brat” under his breath. 
As you felt yourself slowly relax, you stood from your seat, realizing not too long after that you were barely taller than his little sister but chose to ignore that minor detail, you extended your hand out to his sister and watched the way her face lit up. “L/n Y/n, Class 2-5 and member of the Inarizaki art club. While your brother is cute, I have to agree that you are the prettier Suna sibling” you joked and turned to Suna momentarily with a teasing glint with your eyes. Suna only narrowed his eyes at you and furrowed his brows which made both you and Rizu laugh. 
You turned back to Rizu and smiled, “It’s nice to meet you Rizu-chan, Rin doesn’t really bring you up much-” or ever “so I’m sorry it took so long for us to meet.”
Rizu shook her head, “It’s okay! Nii-san talks about you sometimes but I thought he was just lying. He’s kind of lame and he zones out a lot so I thought you were just some weird figment of his imagination that he made to cope with his loneliness” your jaw dropped, were kids always this blunt? 
Rizu shrugged and pulled her phone out of her backpack, “But whatever, I guess the universe felt bad for him and decided not to make him some lonely loser. Anyways, can we exchange numbers Y/n-chan? I wanna send you Nii-sans baby photos” she smiled and looked up at you hopefully. At the sound of Suna’s baby photos being offered up on the table, you quickly nodded and typed in your contact info into her phone. 
Suna’s jaw dropped ever so slightly before scoffing and looking away as he crossed his arms. “Can’t believe my own girlfriend is ganging up on me with my sister” he thought in disbelief. 
“Rizu-chan you’re brother and I are gonna make some hot pot, want some?” you asked as you handed her phone back into her hands. Rizu nodded enthusiastically, “that sounds great! Can I help? Please!” she asked in a hopeful tone as she brought her hands together. You laughed and nodded and watched her beam and skip away to the kitchen. 
Before following her, you turned around to look up at Suna with a frown on your face and your arms crossed over your chest. Suna looked back at you, unsure of why you were giving him that look. “What?” he asked, which only made you look at him in disbelief at his cluelessness. You scoffed and rolled your eyes before making your way towards him and slapping his arm, “You idiot! You never told me you had a little sister” you hissed. 
Suna blinked at you, “I didn’t?” he asked, genuinely confused, while raising one of his eyebrows. You looked at him incredulously and shook your head, “no!” you exclaimed. “God I can’t believe you didn’t tell me” you muttered and looked away, cheeks warming up in embarrassment.
Suna eyed your actions and sighed knowing that he must’ve upset you. If he’s being honest, he didn’t mean to keep you in the dark about his sister. He just always had his mind on you whenever the two of you would hang out so he truthfully forgot about his sister whenever you two were together. He sighed, he leaned back to sit on the edge of the dining room table before grabbing your arm and pulling you closer to his chest. 
When you didn’t budge against him, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and he leaned his head on your shoulders before muttering a quiet, “sorry” into the fabric of his hoodie. A couple seconds passed before you gave in and wrapped your arms around his waist, embracing his warmth. 
Truthfully you weren’t upset or mad at him, just a bit embarrassed that you never knew about his sister until literally a couple of moments ago. You remember how nervous you were when you first met his parents and felt all those nerves coming back because you wanted to impress his little sister. 
You pulled away first and scratched the back of your neck, “It’s fine Rin I’m not mad. If anything I’m just a bit embarrassed that I never noticed. I mean I’ve met your parents and been over multiple times. Plus I’ve slept over like twice already!” you exclaimed. 
Suna moved his arms off your shoulder and used one to support his weight on the table while the other moved your hair away from your face and tucked some strands behind your ear. “It’s not your fault, The brat is always away doing her drama club stuff or whatever so she doesn’t get back until I’ve already walked you home for the night. For the sleepover, I think it’s just a coincidence that she would be away while you were over” he said and you nodded. 
Suna stared at you for a moment, he caught onto how uneasy you looked and immediately figured out why. “Babe, don’t worry about impressing Rizu too much. Trust me, she already likes you a lot” he said while using his thumb to rub the side of your neck gently. 
You nodded slowly before looking up at him with a confused expression, “how did you forget to tell me huh?” you asked. Suna thought back for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly, “I only think of you when we’re together, the brat is old enough to take care of herself” he admitted bluntly.
Your cheeks warmed up and you chuckled making Suna’s chest erupt in butterflies at the sight of your smile. “Calling your sister a brat is kind of rude you know?” you teased. He looked at you with an unamused expression, “you call your little cousins' demon spawns as if that’s any better” he pointed out. You opened your mouth but quickly closed it as you realized he was right. 
Suna pushed himself off of the table and walked towards you and you already saw the mischievous look in his eyes. He leaned down, his lips just barely brushing over yours, “am I forgiven?” he asked in a hushed tone. Your face quickly turned into a bright shade of red once you realized how close he got. While the offer was tempting and his lips were right there, you remembered that his sister was only just a couple feet away from the two of you and you didn’t want to risk her seeing anything. 
You didn’t answer and only looked away, flustered, which made Suna chuckle. He pecked the corner of your lips before straightening himself up, “I’ll take that as a yes” he smirked, making you roll your eyes. 
Suna then grabbed your shoulders and turned you around as he pushed you into the kitchen where his little was sitting on top of the counter wearing a blue apron while a pink folded apron was in her hands. 
She looked up at the two of you entering the kitchen, she smiled at you and noticed how flustered you. She shot her brother a look of disgust. “Ew don’t tell me you were making out in the dining room. So gross Nii-san” she commented as her brother walked towards her to grab the extra apron in her hands. 
Suna looked at her with his normal bored and lazy expression, “shut it brat” he said before turning his back and making his way towards you. Rizu rolled her eyes and turned her attention back onto her phone. It wasn’t until she started to hear the two of you banter when she put down her phone in her lap and watched the way you and her brother interacted. 
She listened to you ask about what vegetables he would want in the hot pot and watched as he moved behind your back and pushed your hair over your shoulder so he could tie the strings of the pink apron behind your neck. 
The sight was strange and oddly sweet. Rizu always thought that her brother would be a terrible boyfriend. He was quiet, borderline lazy, and had no romantic bone in him. He seemed like the type of partner who would do nothing but the bare minimum when they’re in a relationship. He was often annoyed at the sight of other couples and he never had much interest in being in a relationship himself which was partly the reason why Rizu didn’t think to believe him when he told their parents that he had a girlfriend out of the blue one day.
[“Rintarou stop playing around” Their mother chuckled. 
“No for real, I have a girlfriend and she wants to go stargazing so I’ll be home late” he said monotonically before slipping on his shoes and heading out the door.
Rizu watched as her parents exchanged a lost expression with a mix of disbelief towards each other. Part of them were surprised, part of them were happy, but part of them didn’t know if he was playing around or not. 
“Did you know about this?” Their mother asked their Dad who was grabbing a glass from the cupboard. Their Dad only shook his head, “No. You think that’s why he’s been so busy lately?” he asked only to receive a clueless shrug from his wife. 
Rizu rolled her eyes and jumped up from the couch to face her parents. “Come on this is Nii-san we’re talking about. He’s probably just lying. He can’t even talk to girls, let alone get a full on girlfriend”]
“That statement didn’t age well” Rizu thought.
Her eyes followed the way he had the smallest smile on his face as he adjusted your apron, asking afterwards if it was comfortable or if you needed him to adjust it better. Once you told him it was okay, he moved onto gathering your hair into his hands and tying it back with the small black silk band he had around his wrist. Suna placed his hands back onto your shoulders to turn you around to face him. He brought his hand over your face and moved the fly-aways to the side while tucking the loose pieces behind your ear. 
After he was done, you stood on your tippy-toes and pressed a kiss onto his cheek and whispered a quiet “thank you Rin Rin.” She narrowed her eyes and had to hold back her urge to laugh at how the tips of his ears lit up into a bright shade of red. It was then that she concluded one thing:
“he’s so fucking whipped” she muttered under her breath.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
“Wait are you serious? He really gave you a can of lemonade for your birthday?” you asked looking up from the meat you were slicing in bewilderment as Rizu nodded. “Mhm! It wasn’t even the brand I liked, it was the generic ones that had too much sugar” she explained as she moved past you to set the bowl of mushrooms she had cut up with the other vegetables. 
You turned to look at Suna who was sitting on a stool by the kitchen island with his attention fully on his phone. “Is this true?” you questioned. Suna didn’t even look up from his phone as he simply replied, “she likes lemonade.”
 You stifled a laugh at his answer and Rizu only scowled. She nudged your arm and whispered “I dunno how you put up with him” into your ear making you giggle. 
Cooking with the Suna siblings was definitely interesting, to say the least. You weren’t surprised to see that Rizu was a complete polar opposite from her brother. Judging from her first words to you, you knew that she was a lot more outspoken than her brother. While Suna was quiet, Rizu spoke as if she had a microphone taped onto her mouth. She was talkative and energetic while Suna always seemed like he was close to shutting off at any given moment. 
Their dynamic was different, to say the least. Rizu lived up to the annoying little sister type while her brother looked as if he could care less about whatever she did. However, all siblings had at least one thing in common and between them, and you figured out what that thing was quickly. 
They both shared a high level of pettiness. 
If one said something the other didn’t like, they’d find something expose worthy to embarrass the other person. It was a constant back and forth of how could embarrass the other person the worst. 
When Rizu told you that Suna didn’t learn how to tie his shoelaces until he was 8, Suna told you that she failed her math test. When Suna told you that she once slipped on stage mid-performance, Rizu told you that Suna came to their mother when he needed dating advice. 
[ Nii-san shut up! The stage was slippery and my costume was a long dress!” Rizu cried out dramatically. Suna rolled his eyes, “the costumes of your classmates were long but you didn’t see them tripping all over the stage” he teased. Rizu’s jaw dropped, a fire inside lit up as she felt herself getting angry with her older brother. ‘Two can play at this game’ she thought. 
Rizu scoffed and turned to face her body towards you as she leaned onto the counter. “You know Yn-chan, Nii-san always asks ‘kaasan about what he should do to impress you! You know that sunflower field date? He and ‘Kaasan planned that whole thing together ‘cause Nii-san is a clueless idiot and didn’t know what to do” You turned your head to the side and looked at Rizu with a curious expression before briefly looking at your boyfriend who had tensed up. 
“Really now? Rin had me convinced that he did all the planning himself” you teased as you narrowed your eyes at him. Suna huffed, “she just let me use her card to pay for the stupid tickets, I did everything else.” he muttered. 
You chuckled, noticing the way his cheeks puffed out and how the tips of his ears started to turn red. You smiled as you nodded at what Rizu saying, momentarily glancing at him every so often. 
How cute.
Suna then looked up from his phone, a devious smirk on his lips as he knew the perfect moment to us in order to one-up her previous statement.
“Babe did you know that Rizu sleeps with an Eren body pillow-”
“shut up!!” ]
It was a never-ending petty battle between the two siblings. 
Nonetheless, you could tell that they still cared about each other. Albeit in their own special way. 
Rizu rolled her eyes and turned to you and leaned closer, whispering loud enough so that her brother could hear, “Y/n-chan are you sure you’re actually his girlfriend? Like willingly? If he’s paying you then I can guarantee that he’s not paying you enough. Blink twice if you need help-hey!” she whined as she felt a mushroom hit her arm. You both turned to Suna who had a smug smile on his face, “stop talking shit about me brat.” Rizu narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, “or what Nii-san?” she challenged. “I’ll tell ‘kaasan that you walked home with that boy yesterday,” he shot back. 
Rizu’s smirked dropped, “hey! You promised you wouldn’t tell her!” she whined. Suna shrugged his shoulders, “I lied” he replied simply. Rizu scoffed, “I can’t believe you’re dating such a meanie!” she exclaimed and began to angrily stir the broth in the pot.
You watched her actions momentarily before walking around the kitchen island and towards Suna and whacking his arm with a towel you were using to dry your hands. “Stop being so mean to your sister!” you scolded. He looked at you with an unamused expression as he rubbed his arm, “she was mean to me first,” he defended himself bluntly. You rolled your eyes and turned your back to go and start frying the beef.
A comfortable silence came into the kitchen as you and his sister continued cooking. Of course, this silence didn’t last long as the two siblings would go back to their back and forth bantering but nonetheless, there was a comfortable and homey aura in the atmosphere. 
The hot pot was coming together and you occasionally would have Suna try the meat and make sure that it tasted okay. Suna may not be the one cooking, but he had offered his assistance early on by cutting some of the tofu and cooking the udon noodles. You and Rizu would trail off and have your own conversation, missing the way Suna would glance up at the two of you, his hands propping up his phone as he took photos of the two of you laughing and joking around together. 
The rest of the night went by smoothly. Once the hot pot was ready, you asked Suna to prepare the table while you and Rizu set the food down. Since it was nearing 6pm by the time you and Rizu had finished cooking, you all considered this an early dinner. You sat beside Suna while Rizu sat across from you as you all enjoyed a warm bowl of hot pot during a cold winter night. 
Suna watched as you and Rizu talked about a certain anime you both had been watching and took everything within him to not smile at the moment. Seeing you interact with his sister warmed his heart and a part of him was relieved that you two got along well. 
He knew that Rizu was a bit overbearing and you weren’t a big fan of younger children so he was worried that you two would clash. 
But alas, seeing that two of you laugh together put him at ease. 
After dinner, Rizu knew better than to try and third wheel you and her brother. She could see from the way his shoulder kept brushing past yours and how his hands kept getting closer and closer to yours during dinner that he was itching to get any sort of alone time with you. 
She could be a little shit and steal you from him during another day.
Before scurrying off to her room, Rizu gave you a high five before exclaiming once again that you’re really pretty and way too good for her stupid brother while also saying that she would text you his baby photos later. You laughed and nodded along and she flashed Suna a cheeky smile before running up the stairs. 
Once his sister was finally gone, Suna grabbed your wrist and dragged you over to the kotatsu sofa in his living room and practically dragged you down. “Well aren’t you clingy” you teased as he pulled up the blankets over your legs. Suna rolled his eyes, muttering a quiet “shut up” as he laid down and made himself comfortable under the blankets. 
You mirrored his actions, shuffling under the blankets and finding a comfy spot to lay on. Suna’s hands found their way around your waist and he moved you closer to him, letting your head rest against his chest. You couldn’t help but laugh at how clingy he was being as you watched him shift so you were laying on top of him while he hugged you as if you were a teddy bear. 
Suna leaned his head back comfortably on the couch cushion as closed his eyes and a content smile came over his face. “You’re so warm,” he muttered quietly. You smiled “I think that’s just the kotatsu heating Rin,” you said quietly muttered into his chest. “No it’s definitely you, I always feel warm when I’m with you” he whispered. 
You smiled, not failing the way his words made butterflies erupt in your stomach “how cheesy” you teased while momentarily lifting your head so you could poke his cheek. “Whatever” he sighed, his arms around your waist slowly holding you just a bit tighter. “I thought we were supposed to be studying Rin” you said quietly. “Tomorrow, too comfortable right now” he answered back. You giggled, “you just want me to come back huh.” Suna didn’t even bother to deny, only simply nodding and humming a faint “mhm” before relaxing his body. 
A wave of comfortable silence came once again as you two embraced each other's warmth. Your ear was pressed against his chest and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you into sleep. Slowly but surely you found yourself getting drowsy from your comfortable position and you no longer had any energy left in you to stop your eyes from closing.
Suna wasn’t surprised to hear the faint sounds of your gentle snoring not too long after. For a moment he sat up, careful not to wake you, and he took a moment to just admire you. How soft, gentle, and unbothered you looked in his arms. He removed one of his hands from your waist and gently rubbed your arm, he stiffened for a moment as watched as you shuffled slightly before relaxing against him once again. His body loosened up and a small smile spread on his lips, ‘How could someone be so damn pretty’ he thought. 
He admired you for a moment longer. His head replaying the memories you two made in the past 5 months while silently looking forward to what you two had in store together in the future. 
He petted your head gently as he wondered starting about what he should do for your 6 months. You’ve been talking about ice skating after seeing it in a movie so he considered that as an option. The idea of seeing you excitedly skating under the twinkling lights of the ice rink made Suna excited. He knew he couldn’t skate, but he didn’t really care. Just sharing the moment with you was enough for him. 
Slowly, his own exhaustion from the day soon caught up to him and soon enough he was getting tired as well. He shuffled back down and rested his head on the cushions. He lifted his hands off your waist to adjust the blanket over you two, make sure you were all snuggled up and warm. 
Just before he surrendered himself to sleep, he pressed a soft kiss on the top of your head and another one on your forehead. Whispering a faint “love you” before closing his eyes, failing to notice the small smile that grew on your lips.
However, he didn’t fail to feel the heart that your finger softly drew on his chest. 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
Bonus Scene 
“Nii-san can I borrow a pencil?”
Suna looked up from his phone and narrowed his eyes at his sister who was standing by his doorway. Suna looked at her blankly, for a moment he grew suspicious of why she suddenly wanted a pencil but he was honestly far too tired to even try and figure out what she really wanted. “It’s on my desk,” he said plainly as he nodded his head over to his desk on the other side of his room. 
Rizu nodded and made her way over to his desk that was placed in front of his window. Rizu came in front of his desk and scanned the surface for what she needed. He had an open notebook with unfinished work displayed in the middle while his pen holders lined up the top of his desk. 
Rizu saw a pencil sitting inside his pen holder and reached out her hands to take a hold of it. Just as she was about to turn around and leave his room so she could finish up her work, she noticed something taped on the side of his wall that was being covered up by the curtain blowing in front of it. 
While she knew it was wrong to snoop around other people's things, she was empty of blackmail against him and that reason alone was enough for her to justify her actions. She turned around to look back at her brother and saw that he was fairly distracted and took that moment as an opportunity to push the curtain aside. 
However, instead of finding incriminating blackmail, all she saw was a picture of you and him taped from what looked like to be the inside of the photobooths at the movie theatres. The first picture was of you two smiling (well more you than him), the second was you kissing cheek, the 3rd one he had pulled you to sit on top of his lap and he was now the one kissing your cheek, and the last photo was the two of you smiling genuinely to each other, paying no attention to the camera as you both got too caught up in the moment. 
“I hate how they're so cute,” she admitted in her head.
Rizu’s eyes then drifted from the wall that had a bunch of other taped printed photos of you and him to his window sill where a bunch of little trinkets were displayed along with a singular photo frame. 
Her eyes looked over the little trinkets. He had some action figures and random knick-knacks. Nothing interesting in her opinion. “Typical boy stuff, nothing I can use against him,” she thought. Looking past the small transformers' action figure, she kept looking at his window sill until she stopped and stared at a paper box full of little things inside. She squinted her eyes, her eyes having a hard time seeing what it was with how dark it was in his room. She leaned closer and upon further inspection, it finally dawned on her what was inside the box.
It was a bunch of little origami strawberries. 
A bunch of little origami strawberries piled on top of each other, some had wrinkled leaves while others had bent corners. Rizu then looked back at his desk and saw a small stack of red and green papers neatly set on the corner of his desk. 
“weird,” she thought. 
Her eyes shifted from the paper box to the small white square frame where there was a photo of you inside sitting at the edge of the window sill. 
Surrounding you were rows and rows of sunflowers that were facing towards the sun. You were clad in a pretty dress with small floral patterns along with a small sun hat on your head that was tipped back so the sun was hitting your face. Your hair was blown back behind your shoulder, your left hand was holding a bunch of sunflowers while your right hand was resting on top of your hat, holding it down so it wouldn’t be blown away by the wind. Your eyes were closed and you had the warmest smile on your lips as you were basking into the afternoon sunshine. The sunlight was kissing your skin so perfectly that she swore you were glowing. You looked so peaceful, relaxed, and content. It was clear that you weren’t trying to pose for the camera, this photo captured you and all your natural beauty. 
You looked ethereal. 
She looked back at her brother and back at the basket of origami strawberries and the photo frame and concluded one other thing.
“what a fucking simp”
Tumblr media
a/n: yes it’s may but this story takes place in december oops
UGH WORDS CANT DESCRIBE HOW SUNA AND Y/N MAKE ME SO HAPPY. DEADASS THIS EXTRA WARMED MY HEART AND SO I HOPE IT WARMED YOUR HEART TOO. 
I promised a while back that I was going to make an extra that featured suna’s little sister. Personally, I feel like Suna’s sister with be the complete opposite of him. Hence why I wrote her to be very dramatic and enthusiastic. He’s probably able to put up with the miya twins bullshit because his sister already made him go through so much LMAO
I’m uncertain if this is going to be my last extra for club stupid. I have one last long fic idea in mind but truthfully I’m not sure when I’ll get to writing it </3
Regardless, thank you guys so much for the love and appreciation for this series. It really means a lot to me and I’m glad to see people continue to enjoy it :)
a/n 2: ayo where do i find myself a suna? genuinely asking and in need of help. 
taglist! [CLOSED] @aircorumble​@elianetsantana​ @versatilewindow @introvertatitsfinest​ @aristatrois​ @mizukisonoda​ @amberisnotcrazy​ @kritiiiii​ @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney​ @a-moon-fairy ​ @akaasht​ @lotusweebs​ @marvelous-maxi​ @laughingismorefun​ @hhmnvm​ @sweetyrina​ @honeydrip​ @miracleboy420​ @rachelexe​ @charsdummb​ @mjoork @loser-keiji​ @dinablossom​ @ntimacy​ @kac-chowsballs​@unhappyraspberry @sbaepsae ​ @doebopeepeebbod @missalienqueen​@ssuna​ @violenthead​ @unstableye​ @tycrackculture​​ @a-applepi​​ i @lollyzen​​ @aisawa-reo​​ @ashybitch89​ @sunflowerirl​ @sapphicstarss​ @melodiamore​ @valrubiii @urbasicaveragegirl @mint-mai @4kaashl @sugawsites @anngelllla @applekenm @bumblebeesofspace @dreamstormings @milkingkageyama @tsumu-core @luvelyxp @aquariarose
[it’s been a long time since I updated this series so i apologize if I am unable to tag you 🥲]
345 notes · View notes
softomi · 3 years
Text
And The Best Boyfriend Award Goes To....
Nominee One: Suna Rintarou
Dreadful, that’s how you felt. You moved slowly, you slumped into your seat, you groaned. Your boyfriend wasn’t even paying attention to you. He was simply resting on his desk, head buried in his arms but you knew that he was listening. He just always liked to pretend like he couldn’t hear your whining. 
“I don’t want to be here! Babe.” You’re calling to him. 
He finally looked at you, “What’s wrong?” He still rested his head on his arms, you were following his actions. Your head resting on the desk as you looked at your boyfriend; wishing for once he could give you some sympathy.
You were pouting, “Mother nature visited me.” It was short, sweet, one of the closest ways you could address your period without actually saying it. 
“Well, what’d she say?” You almost throw your stuff at him; only he would ever ask a question like this. 
“She said I’m not pregnant.” A sigh escaped your mouth, sure this was supposed to be good news for him and you but it’s not fun when you’re the only one suffering. 
“Well.” He quirks a brow at you, “Isn’t that a good thing?” He thinks he’s funny but he wasn’t to you. 
You turn your head to look away from him, a groan on your lips, “Ugh, you’re the worst boyfriend ever. I’m dating a robot.” 
You were talking with some of your girl friends, some were also going through their own time of the month and could empathize with you. They ranted on how their own boyfriends were just as bad as yours; perhaps some of the others were just a tad bit worse. 
“Ow.” A chocolate bar bounces off your head, landing right in front of you. When you turn, you see your boyfriend standing with his hand in his pockets, “What was that for?” 
“Stop telling everyone I’m the worst boyfriend.” He hands you another chocolate bar but this time it’s one filled with almonds. He pats your head, one of the only actions he’d actually do in front of people. He walks away as he hears the group of girls coo, a blush on his cheeks when he hears you flaunting your boyfriend.
You’re smiling, taking bits of the chocolate to eat as your friends whine about jealousy. That’s how it started. 
Nominee Two: Miya Atsumu
He had just heard about what Suna did, he felt betrayed. Now he had to go above and beyond for you; you who was mad at him because when you snapped at him accidentally, he told you to chill because you were on your period. He was thinking, he was wondering,  just what beats chocolates?
“My love.” He was trying to butter you up with his sweet words, “I’m sorry.” 
You hum, “You heard about Suna didn’t you?” You shrug his hand from your arm, “Don’t try and include me in your dick measuring contest. You’re still the worst.” 
You ignored him for the rest of the school day, even during lunch when he tried to pick at your food, you swatted his hand away. He was practically pouting the entire day, shooting daggers at Suna who had his partner snuggled right up to him. He missed your hugs. 
“It’s Atsumu.” Osamu had burst into your club meeting, sweat trailing down his forehead, calling you for an emergency. 
You rushed behind the male as you two made it to the gym; Atsumu was on the ground, holding a hand to his chest as you came to his side. You were panicking, “Tsumu, are you okay? What’s wrong?” 
“I can’t.” He’s coughing until suddenly he stopped, his hand gripping the back of your neck as he pulled you down to meet his lips, “I can’t live without your kiss.” 
Needless to say, you slapped him across the face; storming out of the gymnasium as he ran behind you. You were on the verge of tears when he pulled you to look at him. 
“You’re the absolute worst, do you know that.” You hit his chest, “I thought you were actually hurt.” 
“But you’re talking to me now.” He’s smiling, “Look, I got you this.” He’s pulling a rose out from behind him, “It’s a secret though, I snagged it from the garden club’s rose bushes. They banned me after the last time I stole their tulips for you.” He watches your eyes soften with the rose, “Am I forgiven? Am I the best boyfriend now?”
You take the rose from him, “Fine, but as consequence, you need to snap a video of you buying pads, chocolates, and flowers to all the members of the volleyball club.” 
Nominee Three: Miya Osamu 
Club activities weren’t over but you watched as Atsumu and his girlfriend reconciled out in the courtyard. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t jealous, you had heard about his stupid plan from your own boyfriend. You didn’t think she would actually fall for that; but as your own boyfriend approached you in the hall, you told yourself you weren’t going to fall for his sweetness. 
“Hey, don’t walk away from me.” Osamu follows behind you, “You still mad?” 
“I don’t know, are you still stupid?” Yes, you were still angered and annoyed. He invited you to go swimming over the weekend but when you told him you were on your period, he told you to just hold it in. It wasn't the dumbest thing he’s ever said to you but the fact was that he wasn’t considerate enough when you tried to explain that girls just can’t hold it in; instead he high fived his bros as if it was a joke. 
“How many times are you gonna make me say sorry?” He’s still following you. 
You don’t even look back at him, “The fact that you have to ask means that it hasn’t been enough.” 
He’s sighing, “What do you want? Flowers? Chocolates? A giant teddy bear? I’ll rob Atsumu for you.” 
You were so close, so close to cracking a smile but you kept your composure; turning to him abruptly. For a second he thinks you’ll come running into his arms; heck, he’s even got his arms out ready for you. 
“Go out into the courtyard, profess your undying love for me.” You coldly turn away. 
You knew he wouldn’t do it, he was too reserved to be shouting professions of love out in the open for everyone to hear. Even when he confessed his feelings for you, he hid you between the corners of the library; handing you a love letter before scampering off shyly. But you didn’t know the extent his feelings of love reached, you didn’t know that he would literally do anything for you. 
“Hey.” Your friend came running into the classroom, a large grin and giggle on her face, “There’s a crazy person out in the courtyard.” She looks at you, “He kind of looks like your boyfriend.” 
Your heart drops, you’re running to the windows, opening them to see him proudly standing in the middle of the courtyard with a megaphone, “Can you hear me?” 
Students have now gathered from all the windows, the crowd answers a screeching ‘yes’ to him. 
“I love my girlfriend y/n.” He looks straight at you. 
You’re blushing profoundly as he opens his mouth once more, a teacher comes running out of the building. Students are laughing as he’s being scolded by the teacher. You meet him when he comes out of the office, your hand tucked behind your back. 
“You’re stupid.” You say to him, draping his arm over your shoulder. He puts a tight hold on you. 
“For you I am.” He kisses your hair.
The Winner: Kita Shinsuke 
Ah, young love. It made you want to laugh, the way the second years were running around the school trying to cease their lover’s anger. It also made you smile, the way your own boyfriend was bending backwards for his younger friends. The three stooges had all come to you one by one; of the three, Suna was definitely the only one who listened. 
“Where’s Kita?” 
One of your friends had come to visit you in the gymnasium, you looked up, the pencil in your hand tapped against your chin, “I think he’s at the office, Osamu got in trouble.” 
“Typical of the second years.” Your friend mutters before she bids you a farewell. 
It wasn’t long until he showed up, slight annoyance on his expression, “Sorry.” 
You’re leaning forward, a grin on your lips, “No need. What happened with Osamu?” 
Kita frowns, “He has to do a week of clean up duty after school, meaning we’ll be down a hitter for our practice match Friday.” He’s about to return to practice when he suddenly remembers, “Oh, here, I accidentally activated it on the way here.” 
You take the small heat pack from him, the warmth taking over your palm, “What’s this for?” 
“Your cramps.” He drapes his jacket over you, “If you put it in the pocket, you can use it to apply heat on where it hurts the most.” 
You were blushing, your lips suddenly in a pout, “How perfect are you.” You’re opening your arms for him, inviting him for a hug to which he can’t refuse. You press a kiss onto his cheek, “Best boyfriend indeed.” 
It’s the one time you’ll see his face go red, it’s as if he’s buffering for a second before going back to his normal stature. Composed, poised, and calm; he turns back to the team. His hands on his hips as he starts to give a lecture on how significant others shouldn’t be distracting the players from the game. 
“But.” Suna raises a hand, “How come your girlfriend can come to our practice and ours can’t?” 
Kita freezes, as the team looks back on you; your attempting to hide the growing smile on your face. He was definitely caught; it was true, technically you weren’t supposed to be in the gym. 
The captain coughs, “She’s our unofficial manager, so she’s allowed to be here.” 
“If that’s the case, my girlfriend’s the unofficial manager too.” The men snicker at the comment thrown into the crowd but their laughs suddenly cease when Kita steps forward. 
“Ten laps around the school yard, everyone, now.” 
400 notes · View notes
because-of-a-friend · 4 years
Text
Boyfriend!Hoshi Fluff
Tumblr media
MASTERLIST
Coups | Jeonghan | Joshua | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | Minghao | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino
This is another series that I only do by request so if you see that there’s one I haven’t written yet that you want, please request it! I’m sorry this one took so long! I’ll try to time things better next time! (But I am currently in my Hoshi feels so this request came at a good time)
Tumblr media
Like Josh
Soonyoung strikes me as the kind of person who’d prefer to know someone and become friends with them before dating them
So
You’ve been friends with Mingyu for as long as you can remember
And you’ve met a few of the boys here and there throughout the years
But Mingyu tries to keep you to himself bc you’re like his best friend and he doesn’t want to share you
But one day you come over to the dorm 
You text Mingyu that you’re there and wait outside the door
Then suddenly it opens
You go to put your phone away as you grumble 
“Geez Mingyu, what took you so long?”
But when you look up
It is not Mingyu opening the door
It’s Soonyoung
And you’re like ????
And then !!!!!
Bc you’ve never met him before and that wasn’t a great first impression
And then you’re just stuttering out something like “Oh... you’re not Mingyu...”
And Soonyoung is stuttering out something like “And who are you?”
But just then Chan walks by and recognizes you
“[Y/N]! I didn’t know you were coming here!”
He pulls you inside 
You awkwardly bow to Soonyoung as you pass by
The rest of the members are all home that day
So you meet the rest of the boys at once
It’s a little intimidating but they all like you immediately
And despite the fact that Mingyu is trying to push you out the door before they can speak to you anymore
They invite you over to hang out again that weekend
And so it begins that you start hanging out with all of the boys more often
Soonyoung and you get along great
Despite your awkward first encounter
His humor always makes you laugh and you share a lot of interests
I guess it’s just good chemistry, the two of you click really well
First he’s too nervous to hang out with you one on one
So for awhile, the two of you only see each other in group settings with the other boys around
But it’s fine because you’re getting to know all of the boys you’ve never met before
You definitely start growing close to them as a group
And Mingyu is happy with it bc he realizes that all of you being friends is great and it’s like you’re one of them and he doesn’t feel jealous at all
Soon hanging out with the boys becomes a norm for you
You all do everything together
And you spend most of your free time at the dorm
It becomes more common for you to branch off and hang out with the boys one on one
The first time you really hang out with Soonyoung is late one night
All of you are having a movie marathon
But you run out of snacks
You volunteer to walk to the nearby convenience store to get some more
Soonyoung volunteers to go with you
The two of you walk comfortably down the street
You’re trying not to notice how cuddly Soonyoung looks in his hoodie 
And with his persistent yawning that’s always followed by him insisting he’s not that tired
You both take your time picking out snacks and drinks at the store
And you get yourselves ice cream for the walk back
You naturally just kind of link your arm with his and walk in sync as you make your way back
“Am I the only one that didn’t like that alien movie?”
“Oh thank god, I’m so glad you said that! Everyone else liked it so much, I thought I was gonna go insane!”
You both joke and laugh 
“Hey, [Y/N]?”
He asks when you reach the dorm
“What’s up Soonie?”
“I’m just really glad you’re around”
You look at him and you both just stare at each other for a second
Then Soonyoung breaks the eye contact to look down at the ground and scratch the back of his head
“I mean, we all are! All of us are really happy to have you in our lives”
“Thanks, Soonie”
Your face hurts from how much you’re smiling
Soonyoung smiles back just as wide and leans over to ruffle your hair
After that night, the two of you spend a lot more one on one time
At first it’s just because you two realize you really enjoy each other’s company
And then it kind of becomes.... a little more deep than that
But neither of you really think about it 
Until one day
You two are talking in the kitchen of the dorm
And Soonyoung brings up an inside joke between the two of you
You two start laughing 
And then Chan
Who is sitting across the room from y’all 
Just goes
“Are you two dating or something?”
Your laughter abruptly stops
And Vernon
Who is sitting next to Chan
Grabs him and drags him out of the room
Leaving you and Soonyoung alone
And woof
Is that the most awkward silence you’ve ever encountered
You both just sit there for a second
Not sure how to move forward from that moment
Soonyoung gives out an awkward laugh 
“Sorry about Dino... sometimes he just says things he shouldn’t...”
“No it’s ok!”
You also laugh awkwardly
The next time you two see each other you both act like nothing happened
And then you two continue hanging out like normal
And it’s all the same
Or so you thought
One day, Soonyoung texts you and asks if you two can meet up
You agree enthusiastically and head towards the location he sent you
It ends up being this really cool green house/ garden place
And it looks so pretty because it’s around sunset
“Wow Soonie! This place is so cool! I can’t believe I didn’t know it existed!”
You grab his arm and begin excitedly drag him around the building
And as you’re exploring the place you realize Soonyoung is being a lot more quiet than usual
So you slow on a path and link your arm with his 
You two walk in comfortable silence for a bit
You sneak glances at him
He looks so... serious
It’s strange to see him like that
“What’s up Soonie?”
He looks at you
Your heart skips a beat just from the look
It’s filled with so much emotion and you don’t think anyone’s ever looked at you like that
“I can’t stop thinking about...”
“About what, Soonyoung?”
“What Chan said the other day”
He breaks eye contact and looks in the other direction
“Hey” you say quietly, stopping completely and pulling him to look at you
“Finish that thought, Soonyoung”
“I just... why aren’t we dating?”
“Oh, well... I didn’t know you even felt that way about me”
“[Y/N], are you kidding me? I think about you all the time. Every time you look at me, I feel my heart soar. Nothing and no one has ever felt as right as being with you.”
You pull him forward by his jacket and crash your lips against his
It takes him no time to respond, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist to keep you close
Even though you two are already so close and know so much about each other
He wants to take time with your relationship and build it up like it’s brand new
He doesn’t want the two of you to rush into it and get overwhelmed and then give up on your relationship without giving it a real chance
So first he takes you on a bunch of typical dates
And asks you the dumbest questions, lol
“So, what do you like to do for fun?”
“You already know Soonyoung, we see each other almost every day”
But the dates are lots of fun and he’s super cute, so
As time goes on and your relationship gets more serious
Soonyoung gets really worried about being a good enough boyfriend
Your relationship progressing sparks a lot of communication between the two of you
He always wants to know that you’re on the same page and that both of you think things are going well
He’s genuinely such a considerate boyfriend
A lot more serious than you thought he would be
Especially when life is hard in general
He’ll show up at your place and just hold your hands as he quietly talks about what’s bothering him
He’ll be embarrassed if he cries in front of you but it happens sometimes
You always assure him that it’s ok and that he should be able to depend on you as much as you depend on him
And then he’ll cry more bc he loves you so much
In fact, he’s crying the first time he actually says “I love you”
And you really think this sweet sweet boy is gonna kill you with how loved he makes you feel
Seriously, his emotions are huge and intense
But that doesn’t mean your relationship isn’t also super fun and lighthearted because it is quite often
You two love to go out and do crazy things
You also love spending lots of time with the other boys
You have to hang out with Mingyu more so he doesn’t feel like Hoshi stole his best friend lol
But he’s also super happy you two are together and thinks y’all are good for each other
Everyone does
You two seem to be a perfect match
You support him when things are tough and also accompany him on all the random activities he wants to go on
And he pushes you out of your comfort zone and teaches you a lot about enjoying life
The two of you really enjoy going on walks
It gives the opportunity to stumble upon more fun activities 
Like that one time you found that random butterfly garden and you thought Soonyoung was gonna pass out from his excited vibrating
It also gives the two of you time to talk
Which, as cheesy as it sounds, is your favorite thing to do together
Because the two of you can talk and talk about anything and everything without ever getting bored
You also start spending a lot of time at the practice room watching him dance
He likes to show you the new stuff he’s working on
And sometimes you’ll cheer for him and make a big deal out of clapping and such
And he’ll just slide over to where you’re sitting and pinch your cheeks for being so cute
He also enjoys teaching you some dance moves 
(No matter how bad you are at it)
But overall 
Your relationship is really pure and steady and great
Soonyoung is a great bf and you don’t mind reassuring him when he doubts it
You’re incredibly grateful to have him in your life and you can’t imagine being with anyone else
334 notes · View notes
versatilewindow · 3 years
Text
Reflections From The Eye of The North
Find it on Ao3
Summary: The Commander reflects on the shift in the relationship between themselves and their close friends
A/N: im reposting this bc i hated the format it was in before lol
It was hard staying away from home for so long, I never really get to see my family, my friends back home, but it's been manageable. Creating, being a part of Dragon’s Watch, has maybe been my greatest accomplishment to date. Ok, raising a dragon is pretty cool, saving Tyria from certain destruction is something most adventurers and warriors only dream about, but along with that came a roller coaster of emotions. Losing good soldiers, people I had seen as friends, that was hard, making me wonder if this campaign against the dragons was even worth it. But on these adventures I met my closest friends, people that are now my family.
It always kinda pissed me off how Rytlock started to dote on me after I died. Ok that's understandable. Coming back from the dead is not something a lot of people do, but Rytlock always seemed to be part of the group just for the fights, never really joining us in meals, always having a snarky reply to whatever someone said. But after the incident, he would suggest taking breaks to rest more often, something he would never do when we were in Maguuma, a time where he would berate us for stopping to catch our breath even for a second. He was reminding me of basic self care. Like eating or sleeping. Which at times was called for, particularly in the days leading up to the fight with Balthazar, or later when we were rescuing Taimi.
Despite all this parental behavior, I didn’t make too much of it until Aurene also… passed. The days following were honestly a blur, sleeping, only being awake long enough to acknowledge the presence of my friends and the food they left nearby my bed. As much as it pissed me off then, Rytlock would wake me up and basically pull me out of bed to make me walk around and take a bath. Sitting on the bathroom floor, listening to the water run into the tub, listening to Rytlock talk at me about what was going on that day, if there were any updates on Kralkatorrik, him checking the temperature of the tub from time to time. Him giving me time to sit in the tub for what felt like hours on end while he tidied up my room, opening the curtains, leaving a peaceful silence between us, other than the occasional, “Hey kid, you still alive in there?” when he would quickly pop his head in the door of the bathroom to make sure I was ok.
I never did thank him for that.
With the other members of Dragon’s Watch, they didn’t really find the best way to express their grief to me. Rox was sweet, leaving me a piece of cake or pie in my room, but mostly left me alone. Braham, who has been through this sort of grief with Eir, really just spent his time hunting, bringing some kind of animal back for that night’s dinner. And Taimi, I didn’t see too much of her, but she would come to my room and talk to me about her research while she thought I was asleep. Caithe basically fell off the face of Tyria until she called everyone together to see Aurene again.
Watching Rytlock interact with Crecia was… to put this.... Interesting. It was like watching an old married couple bicker about the dumbest thing, but also like watching two strangers get to know each other.
It was not a surprise to me that Rytlock was a dad. Yes Charr culture puts more emphasis on your found families in the farhar and warbands, but fathering a child, changes people, changes the way they see and protect their loved ones. Meeting Ryland made the recent shift in behavior make sense. I imagine that when Rytlock was young and rising up, he had a similar view on how to approach a problem (that is to just cut it down and fight until there is no more problems).
The fight with Drakkar, like most big fights, was honestly a blur. When I look back on it, all I really remember is seeing the inky black avatar for the Whisper of Jormag, the incomprehensible yelling from Crecia and Rytlock, and the moment of numbness before the burning in my chest started and wouldn’t stop. This was what dying felt like.
As someone who most would consider to be well versed in the art of passing out from injury. It was hard to stay out. I would think that the pain would keep me sleeping, but all it did was wake me up for just a few seconds of white, hot pain before feeling faint and going limp in whosoevers arms I was in. I vaguely remember furry, soft arms, and bigger, more sturdy ones. I remember Braham whispering to me, “It’s going to be alright Commander, we’re gonna get you to safety.” Although those words seemed more to reassure himself than me. I remember more bickering from Crecia and Rytlock, him berating himself for being distracted while Bangar shot me, and then Crecia reminding him in not the most polite tone that they couldn’t do anything until they got me to safety.
Waking up to see Aurene was one of the greatest feelings ever, only to be struck back down from the exhaustion and the weight in my chest. The following conversations were hard to follow from the pain in my head and chest, the burning had not gone away.
The very first few days of recovery, Rytlock never left my side, helping me in and out of bed, running the bath and even staying in the room to make sure I didn’t reopen any wounds. His claws would delicately lower me down into the bed, petting my head to lull me to sleep through the soreness and tightness in my chest.
I was never left alone, whether I was sleeping, eating, or bathing. It was usually Rytlock or Braham who stayed with me, helping me up out of bed or helping me dress. Which was so terribly embarrassing for everyone involved. I really appreciated the company, but Braham wouldn’t stop talking about how sorry he was, how it was his bow, and how irresponsible he was to lose it in the first place. With Rytlock, we both kept to ourselves, enjoying each other’s company, speaking only when needed.
That's when I realized it, Rytlock reminded me of my dad, who always reminded me that actions speak louder than words. It’s hard being away from home, where I grew up, but a home is not always a place, it’s where your heart lies. Home is with my friends who I consider my family. We can travel the world, fight with each other, but it’s still home.
A/N: my original title was rytlock be like: i am ur father anyway lmk if u love it or hate it bc i cant get better at writing without feedback also I may or may not do this with other characters depending on what yall think
6 notes · View notes
a-cai-jpg · 4 years
Text
this is a very stilted post.
I have a collection of songs that make me cry.
I'm not in the habit of playing them very often. I don't even save them in my YouTube favorites, or my wormhole of a Spotify account. I kind of leave it up to fate for the familiar melody and lyrics to find me again, and on days where I feel especially brave, I'll queue it up on a drive. But only on a drive.
I watched a variety show about songwriters a few months back, and one of my favorite contestants said something along the lines of, "I think everyone has a theme that they just can't touch."
Sometimes, it's because the pain is still too raw. Sometimes, it's because we're too fearful to truly reckon with the sorrow, unwilling to drink it in, let it roll around in our mouths as the bitter flavor penetrates our tongue, and feel it burn on the way down.
I don't listen to the songs often because I'm afraid I'll become desensitized, that the most humane and most compassionate part of me will become numb.
But also because I'm not in the business of seeking out pain.
I used to be obsessed with tragedy, chasing it with a sort of masochistic relish because I thought you could never be as human as you were when you cried. It's kind of like why people really like those sad, touching Thai commercials that make you bawl your eyes out without fail every time.
But as I grew older, I realized there really is something that I can't touch. Sometimes, I tongue the edges of it, prodding with caution, but only on very, very rare occasions do I peel away the protective layer. There are some things I can't watch, can't listen to too closely, or else I'll feel myself unravel around the edges.
And not gonna lie, but now is not a time I'm willing to tug at the ends of the thread. So instead, I'll let a past me do that.
When I was a sophomore in university, I submitted a monologue for the annual Asian cultural show. It was submitted anonymously, because at the time, it wasn't something I was ready to talk about.
(it still isn't, but i have gotten more practice talking about it in the years that have elapsed.)
See, what had happened was, I was watching Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo (disappointment of my life, sorry the Chinese version is better even though the Korean cast is bEaUtIfUl), and suddenly, I had a mini-panic attack about death.
It was the dumbest thing. I was watching Park Soondeok try to woo Wang Eun, and the silly girl--bless her heart--hunted a whole bear to express her love for him. I remember the scene had startled me, because she popped on screen with a bear skin covering her body. And I was like, "Uh that's like, a lot of bad karma right."
And I don't really know how karma works, but I suddenly remembered something that my grandmother had said a long time ago. She said that she was a sinner, because she's "killed" so much for our family.
In Chinese, the words she used were 杀生, which literally means "kill life" but generally, animal life.
She said it because she is the main chef of our family. Whenever she visited China, our family would go through a bit of crisis because that meant either my grandfather cooked or my mom's boyfriend cooked.
Once, my grandfather served me Palmier cookies and the same fried rice we'd eaten for a week for dinner. Often, my mom's boyfriend chopped up carrots and celery to dip with ranch for dinner.
It was great.
(no, but our family barely functioned when my grandmother was gone. those six months would be us sitting silently around the dinner table, daring each other to be the first to try a dish.)
Weirdly, that little thing she said stuck with me. And in that moment, sophomore year of college, sitting in my top bunk watching Scarlet Heart Ryeo, I panicked.
I can't really dissect why I panicked. But the result was this ridiculous plan that I had to stop eating meat for the rest of my life to collect all the good karma for my grandmother.
(yeah, so that didn't last because I literally got sausages that weekend cus hello, continental breakfast.)
It wasn't that I never thought about death or my family members dying before then. In the second grade, I read a story about the friendship between a squirrel and a leaf, and cried and cried and cried when the story ended and the leaf died, not because the leaf died but because the leaf promised to be reborn, and would be reborn at the turn of the year, but humans wouldn't be.
But for some reason, all of the separate moments of panic and fear dispersed over a decade culminated in that moment, as I watched Soodeok pull the bearskin off of her head, and I started crying so hard I couldn't breathe.
So I wrote a monologue. The original draft was very, very long and very, very detailed, and I probably went through half a box of tissues writing it. I eventually cut it down and didn't save the first copy because I never wanted to read it again.
The theme of the monologue comes up every time I talk about my Chinese American identity. It comes up in personal statements, in creative narratives, in discussion groups, and in the Facebook likes I dish out whenever I see a relevant Subtle Asian Traits post. It's the sense of biculturalism and the accompanying endeavor to somehow reconcile my reality with that of my immigrant parents and grandparents. It's the weary acceptance that ultimately, there may be no reconciliation, and all that's left is regret.
Whenever someone asks me what my favorite food is, I would say spring onion noodles. But this is the funny part--I will never order them in a restaurant. Some time in middle school, I went on a family trip with my extended relatives in China. Every time we stopped to eat, my aunt would order me a bowl of spring onion noodles because she knew I loved it so much, and every time, I would make a face and say, "Grandma does it better."
See, I don't know if she actually does. I just knew I liked hers more.
After my grandmother returned to China, I started making spring onion noodles myself, because it tasted more like home even if I never got it right.
I also really like dumplings. My grandma makes the best dumplings, but I'm afraid to ask her to make them, because the last time I did, they were too salty. Now, I'm afraid to ask her to make spring onion noodles too, because maybe my memories tasted better than the real thing.
But the real, real reason I'm scared is that I'm scared she's getting old. I'm scared her tastebuds are not the same as they were when she lived in Monterey Park, cooking in our second floor kitchen.
In my senior year of college, I called my grandmother for the first time on my own. The moment I heard her voice, staticky over the long distance call, I started crying, and it was stupid because I had to pretend I wasn't crying and I was trying to talk normally and it was awful because it was the kind where your voice came in hiccupy stutters, and she definitely knew I was crying because she kept asking, "Why did you call? What's wrong?" while acting casual, for my sake.
When I was in the eighth grade, I was walking a friend's German Shepherd that ended up dragging me across the pavement in the park. It's a story I tell a lot, because it is truly hilarious in hindsight, but the ending goes like this:
I go home crying, because my glasses broke and I have cuts on the back of my left hand and down my face. I take a bath, something I grew out of doing years ago, and my grandmother doesn't reprimand me. She sits next to me and speaks in that vaguely disapproving voice of her, the tone of so many old Asian ladies, and tells me that life is hard and you will meet people that you don't get along with, but you just have to suck it up. And I start crying harder, because she cared.
That day, she also followed me from the front door of our house to my mom's master bathroom, asking, "What's wrong?"
We talk a lot about the Chinese zodiac in our household, more when my grandmother and grandfather still lived with us, but my aunt brought it up a few days ago. In the Chinese zodiac, the ox and the sheep are foils to each other--me and my grandmother. When I was little, I would say, "Ugh, this is why we fight so often." A few days ago, my mom said, "That's why you and grandma never got along," and I stayed silent.
I sometimes tell people that my grandmother is more like my mother figure, and my mom is more like an older sister. And my mom hates it. But, it's because everything that others associate with an Asian mom, I associate with my grandmother. All the memes about immigrant mother bringing their children peeled and cut fruit are about my grandmother, fending off my complaints about having to eat apples every single day, and stubbornly bringing me sliced apples and pears. All the stories about immigrant parents expressing their love through the words "Come eat. Food is ready," is my grandmother who singlehandedly kept her family together through sheer will and a kitchen stove.
Sometimes, when I'm brave enough to talk to people about how I feel about her, I would say that I would gladly give her half of the rest of my life, just so we can leave together. I'm scared her life would be less than perfect, and I wish I made money earlier so I can take her to Cambridge and Rome, but I'm also scared that I'm selfish and weak and unable to give her what she really wants.
Anyways.
Four tissues later, here's the monologue:
I am obsessed with time.
I am obsessed with time, but I hate the way the second hand moves relentlessly in an endless loop on the face of an old clock. I am obsessed with time, but I hate the way the mention of it tightens my throat, squeezing until the pressure travels to my heart and lungs, and finally settling somewhere deep in my gut.
I was told that time is linear. The Second Law of Thermodynamics. Chaos and disorder grow infinitely—there is no going back.
When I was little and time was but a tiny grain of sand in a large, foreboding hourglass, I believed in guardian angels. They were the ones who caught me tumbling from a swing, having flown too high on my too weak wings. They were the ones who waited outside the gates of my elementary school—a familiar face of comfort floating amidst a crowd of foreign visages. They were the ones who promised me plates and plates of hand-wrapped dumplings, and most importantly, they were the only ones who could cook spring onion noodles with a sunny side up egg the way I liked it, and no restaurant could ever hope to get the taste just the same.
But also, when I was little, I believed that guardian angels existed outside of time. They were immortal, they gave me life. But as the number of years they conferred to me increased, they seemed to become more and more human.
Sometimes, I’d blink, and for a terrifying moment, I’d catch glimpse of an elderly couple, backs hunched and hair splattered with grey, standing in my kitchen.
This is me, a girl obsessed with time. I had the liberty of being born and raised in the United States. My Chinese immigrant parents labored long days at work, and my grandparents were given the roles as my primary caretakers.
My grandfather was the quiet one, a retired electrical engineer who made it his mission to somehow teach me to love mathematics. My grandmother was the loud one, previously a librarian—the irony, I know—who never went to college but could calculate prices of groceries faster than I could pull out a calculator. I grew up dancing around their peculiar dynamic, seesawing back and forth between going ant-watching with my grandfather as I recited the Chinese timestables and trying to finish too many platters of food my grandmother piled in front of me as she told me stories of life back in China—in the good old days.
Growing up in California, it was inevitable that I saw the United States as home to both me and my family. It was where I had spent nearly two decades of my life—and where my mother, grandmother, and grandfather had spent nearly two decades of their lives.
And yet, two decades was not nearly enough time. Space could not be reconciled, and time was rendered obsolete.
Home, for them, was not our little town in the suburbs of LA. When my father passed away, my mother said, “We don’t have enough money to bring him home.” She’d said it carelessly in front of me, perhaps thinking 6-year-old me wouldn’t notice, let alone understand. But 6-year-old me did. Home, I realized, for them wasn’t home for me.
The thought was terrifying. I realized that there will come a time, when I’d return home, and it wouldn’t be the same place my mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather returned to.
I began to play with the idea of condensing time and space. How great it would be, if home was simultaneously California and China. Time differences, traveling time, the Pacific Ocean would be utterly abolished, and our hearts would return home together.
But time flew by and the pile of sand grains at the bottom of the hourglass grew without my noticing. I hadn’t yet the chance to tell my grandparents about my meditation on time and space, and suddenly, my grandfather decided to return home. Time had seemed to warp, fastforwarding the years I’d taken for granted, and now refusing to slow down.
Here’s the thing—I do not wish to be selfish. I want my family to be happy—to return home—but I am terrified that my own fragile notion of home will shatter in return.
Because the reality is, home isn’t physical space. Home is, in all truthfulness, time. Time I’d spent with my family, and the years I have left to spend with them.
I’d let time slip through my fingers as I tried to come up with this theory of “home.” I’d tried to condense “home” into a condominium, apartment D, a large peach tree shading the backyard. Yet now, the tree has been cut down, and my mother speaks of moving to a city forty minutes away. What then, I ask myself, is home?
Home is the promises I’d made to my grandparents—promises I’m no longer sure I can keep because I cannot cover large enough distances with so little time. Home is the way I could never tell them “I love you,” and the regret that builds in my heart as I realize that home is a ticking time bomb that threatens to throw the world into chaos. Entropy increases. Things fall apart.
In a little bit, home will be too many miles away, too many hours away, for me to return to. Home will be in a foreign city surrounded by a peculiar amalgamation of unfamiliar modernity and history she’d lived through. Home will be on the opposite shore of an ocean I cannot swim across, with no one to cook spring onion noodles for.
I am a girl obsessed with time. I’d been blessed with a lot of time, and yet, I’d tossed it all out of the window of my second story bedroom. I am a girl obsessed with time, and I’d trade in my soul for it to reverse, so I can make home a little more concrete, a little more happy, a little more lasting. I am a girl obsessed with time, and when I wake up 2:30 in the morning, I think I can see the sands rushing down the chute of the hourglass, and the sight of it tears me apart.
I am a girl obsessed with time, and I would like to apologize to my beloved mother, grandmother, and grandfather for taking so much of it for granted. If I had another run at these eighteen years, I only hope to reach this conclusion sooner and fulfill my promises.
Dear grandma and grandpa,
I am a girl obsessed with time. Every day, I pray to God to give you a little more. How had the time flown by so quickly? Was yesterday not the day you brought me on the airplane for the first time? I can still taste the juice of the grapes a stranger had given us—snacks for the little girl—in the back of my tongue. Yet now I’m no longer the toddler you held in your arms. Grandma and grandpa, time is rushing by on a train I cannot seem to catch. Will you forgive me for reaching our home a little too late?
Love.
(i included my favorite part in a creative narrative project i did for a class in college. if you want to hear it in my voice: here.) (pls don’t click for the sake of my voice bc i sound like a literal duck. click for my grandparents wandering around hangzhou.) (also, if it is different its cus i tried to fit it in somehow with a longer poem i was writing.) (i don’t like poems.)
The reason I wrote this isn't that I wanted to pick at a scab. I heard a song recently, from the same songwriter variety show, that I had blindsided a few months back. I heard it at around 1 am in the morning, and I cried.
Here is the collection of songs:
橘子 by 邓见超
考试考得好不好啊? how did you do on your test? 有没有拿到大红花 did you get the big red flower? 老师夸我是个乖仔啊 my teacher said i was a good kid 奶奶自己保重圣体吧 grandma, take care of yourself 长大了 出息了 要晓得回家 when you grow older and do big things, remember to come home 别忘了这里的青山和路弯 don't forget the green mountains and windy roads here 记得要带一瓶辣椒在身上 remember to bring with you a bottle of peppers 还时常跟妈妈报平安 and often let your mom know you're doing fine ... 房子旁两棵树都被砍掉了 the two trees by our house have been cut off 墙上还贴着小��候的奖状 my childhood awards are still plastered on the walls 一个字一个字 好像昨天啊 each word, each word, like it was just yesterday 宝贝儿子啊 吃饭了 son, it's time for dinner 再不回家妈妈要教训你了 if you don't come home now, mom's going to be mad 这个淘气的孩子跑去那里玩了 this mischievous kid, where did he go? 找他都找不到人了 i'm looking for him, but i can't find him.
一荤一素 by 毛不易
一张小方桌 有一荤一素 a small, square table with one vegetable and one meat 一个身影从容地忙忙碌碌 a figure good-naturedly bustling about 一双手让这时光有了温度 a pair of hands allowed this time some warmth 太年轻的人 他总是不满足 the one who is too young, he's not satisfied 固执地不愿停下 远行的脚步 stubbornly unwillingly to stop the footsteps traveling far away 望着高高的天走了长长的路 looking at the far, far sky; walking a long, long road 忘了回头看 她有没有哭 he forgot to turn around to see if she's crying 月儿明 风儿轻 >the moon is clear, the wind is light 可是你在敲打我的窗棂 is it you, knocking on my window? 听到这儿你就别担心 now that you've listened till here, please don't worry 其实我过的还可以 actually, i'm doing okay ... 你又可曾来过我的梦里 have you been to my dreams lately? 一定是你来时太小心 you must've been too careful when you came 知道我睡得轻 knowing that i sleep lightly 一定是你来时太小心 you must've been too careful when you came 怕我再想起你 afraid i'll miss you
父亲 by 筷子兄弟
时光时光慢些吧不要再让你变老了 time, time, please slow down. don't let you grow any older 我愿用我一切换你岁月长留<<br>i'm willing to trade everything i have for more years and months for you ... 微不足道的关心收下吧 please accept my inadequate care for you 谢谢你做的一切双手撑起我们的家 thank you for holding up our family with your hands 总是竭尽所有把最好的给我 always doing everything to give me the best ... 我是你的骄傲吗还在为我而担心吗 am i your pride? do you still worry for me? 你牵挂的孩子啊长大啦 the child you think of has grown up now.
时间都去哪了 by 王铮亮 (this is a cover)
时间都去哪儿了 where has all the time gone? 还没好好感受年轻就老了 haven't even truly experienced youth, and i'm already old 生儿养女 一辈子 took care of children my entire lfe 满脑子都是孩子哭了笑了 all i can hear is the cries and laughter of children 时间都去哪儿了 where has all the time gone? 还没好好看看你眼睛就花了 haven't even looked at you carefully yet, and my vision is already blurring
if only... by ozi
如果可以把時間退後 if i can rewind time 別讓命運把妳給帶走 i won't let fate take you away 對妳能說著我最近做些什麼 i want to be able to tell you what i've been doing these days 希望別再錯過 i hope i won't miss it again 如果可以讓我跟她說 if only i can just tell her 願意付出我所有為了 i'm willing to trade everything i have 能換一點時間just to see you again for a little time just to see you again 別再擔心著我 so you don't have to worry about me anymore
3 notes · View notes
iadprocess · 4 years
Text
Week 1 - Into the Wild!
The first day conducting field research we wanted to focus on our main interests for our project. We agreed that an AI-based application to create a sensation of help, not to replace therapy, but more companionship would be a suitable idea to pursue, seeing the current situation. For two weeks all citizens, who do not work in a field that is viewed as essential, have been constrained in their homes. When this quarantine will end is uncertain. This to maintain a social distance and avoid the spread of COVID-19. In these moments, people have to start to deal with a situation of isolation. We thought that loneliness and boredom could become a growing problem for general wellbeing. 
We wanted to get in touch with a wide variety of people. We got in touch with persons from the age of 14 to 80+. We were interested in how the quarantine is affecting people’s behavior and mood. If the restrictions and disruption to their daily routine would affect them negatively. We thought of a set of questions that could give us a first overview.
·        Who are you? (age, occupation)
·        Who are you spending your quarantine time with?
·        how has your everyday life changed since the quarantine?
·        how does quarantine affect your mood?
·        What do you do to improve your mood at home?
·        Where would you rather be right now?
We wanted to contact workers who are working at home, workers who are still working outside, students, retirees and unemployed. We wanted to discover if there were any patterns with the answers. Our Expectation was to recognize categories of people who react and respond in a similar way (I am fine, I am not fine).
Phone Interviews
David got in contact with seniors who live in a retirement home, through his mother who works there. He conducted 4 interviews through the phone, all respondents were over 80 years old. Two of the three people are fully cared for and the third person lives in an apartment right next to the home. The fully cared for people had difficulty understanding my questions and could not answer open questions. We think it would be better to do something visual and have contact in real life. Because of the coronavirus, we have to find out how this could work best. Cultural probes could be one possibility. Here a snippet from an interview:
vimeo
Getting information from the people in the home was very difficult. A visual Observation in everyday life would be more effective.
Themes: occupation, entertainment, social interaction, time for oneself.
The statements on the phone seemed quite cold. One notices the loneliness and possibly also boredom. The question whether they would appreciate it, if acquaintances would call more often, they would say yes. But can one trust this answer? Do they answer honestly or is it just politeness?
Person 1 Occupation: - Read - Number game (Lotto, Bingo) - Wandering around the home - Set the table! ⇢ Feeling needed.
Person 2 Occupation: - Lying / dozing - „zvieri näh“ - Talking to people - read the Bible The situation is calm and "grave". She prefers to make phone calls. She doesn't want a change now. "It is the way it is" is probably the most heard sentence in the conversations. She says the situation hasn't changed much since the quarantine: she still and always felt a sense of helplessness. She takes each day as it comes and still is alone. Residents have the same perception of the atmosphere in the home as before.
Person 3 Terrible not being able to see anyone. Still meets with the neighbors. No longer allowed to have lunch with the other residents. "Unecessary information" comunicated. When I was asking if she is using the phone, she told me about her phone provider and how much it costs, even thought that was not part of the conversation.
Person 4 Made more shopping, to prepare. Everything is still working normally. Says that 15 and 16 year olds have no trouble at all.
Video Interviews
Tumblr media
Conclusion
For 1/3 the quarantine has brought little change in the routine.
1/4 misses the direct contact with classmates
1/7 misses seeing her family
1/3 is more in virtual contact with people than before the quarantine
1/3 is feeling less productive because of the quarantine
2/3 are scared of the current situation and of the uncertainty of the future
What helps to lift the mood
2/3 feel better when they exercise
1/3 contact with people online and thorugh the phone
1/3 feel better when cooking
1/6 feel better through entertainment (tv shows, games)
Instagram Poll
Tumblr media
We decided to ask three short questions in our Instagram poll, here are the answers we got:
How has the quarantine affected your routine? 
From lab work to home office for paper research and report writing, from fitness center to jogging and online courses
Routine has become really important to keep the feet on the ground
Home School :D
Can’t go outside for no reason, little afraid to visit my parents and sad that I can’t see my
grampy’s
Saving time and money. At work: slowly losing immediacy with clients and colleagues
I can not meet my friends and family :’(
I have exams in June and I have no clue of what will happen because I’m doing online school but it’s literally 2 hours a day (I live in Italy)
All activities acquired the same value: it’s not worse to wash the dishes than take care of plants
I have more time, I go to sleep later however less structure
Watching Netflix more
I’m more concentrated during lessons
0 change. I’m a natural isolationist. I was born to do this.
Got more time to read and spend in the kitchen now
Almost nothing changed
I have to practice stuff for work at home but the crying ain’t helping (hairdresser)
I discovered that I’m a morning person, I started making the bed
100% smart work, self-quarantine for every individual of the family
How do you entertain yourself or improve mood during the quarantine?
Playing chess
Watching Netflix
Watch “dumbest purchases I made in my 20s” videos to feel better about myself
Self-penetration
More cooking and eating
Dreaming of me jogging
I plant mushrooms in my garden
Drinking alcohol
Youtube workouts and yoga apps
Watching porns
Playing switch, doing sports and reading books
Scrolling through social media, chat a lot, movies, sit on the balcony, rearrange and clean home
Playing sims
Online apéros
How does quarantine affect your mood and why?
Negatively because I can’t go to restaurants/clubs or travel
I am nervous cause I see the same people all the time and staying in the same rooms
All good
Everything is fine, I work from home but at the weekends it gets harder and if the weather is bad
Feeling balanced, try to keep daily routine (work, sport and social contact)
I recognise that I can’t go outside, especially in the evenings I am tired
Sitting in front of a computer the hole day is exhausting
My mind is very relaxed, because I don’t hear the word corona all the time
Sometimes a bit lonely, then I call someone, and I am happy again
There is nothing better than this situation, let’s go for a drink after everything
Doesn’t affect me, because I throw a corona party every weekend
I can still work, so I am not that quarantined. I know what to do
The quarantine is not the thing that is annoying, it is the way how we have to work from home, everyone expects you to be online 24/7
More difficulties to get up in the morning, more exhausted in the evening
Sometimes I feel irritable or anxious, but most of the time I feel relaxed and good
I am not in quarantine I have to work
I watch more Netflix
Video Diary
youtube
Ramona asked a friend of hers to document her day with her phone camera. This was a quite playfull and fun way to discover the routine of a student who now has to stay home, for both us researchers and for the subject. In the video she says she mostly works on her computer. To lift her mood she goes outside in the garden to catch some sunlight. She’s trying to stay positive and that seems to work.
Google Survey
Click here to see all the answers. 61% answered positively - they are well 19% answered negatively - they are not doing well 19% answered positively and negatively. Either they are doing medium well, or they are slowly getting quiet, or sometimes good and sometimes bad. 71% of the people left their contact datas, if we want to contact for new survey.
Feedback from a psychologist: “What answers do you hope to get? Maybe give someone to read again, so that it is clear, everyone is understood correctly. Questions 1 and 3 are a bit similar. If you want to get more out, a reward would be helpful. From a psychological point of view what is important is anonymity, if any sentence is written that the whole thing will be treated anonymously if you don't give your email address. Added: either people don't fill this out if they think it’s too uncomfortable. Answers become more honest when anonymity is guaranteed” 
Feedback from a anonym participant: “Quantitative surveys are easier to evaluate with multiple choice questions.” A lot of participants left their email address if we wanted to contact them. We were quite surprised how many participants left their contact.
Send a picture of what you are doing
Tumblr media
We asked 13 people to send us a picture of what they are doing. Most of them are young adults, some of them are employees, most are student. We can see that most of them stay in front of a screen. Some are playing board games, other are cooking, taking a break of pursuing their hobbies.
Facebook livestream
Tumblr media
We saw in this facebook group that many users did livestreams. They talked about their personal lives and communicated with the viewers who were commenting. We tried to go live and engage in a conversation with the members of that Facebook group. To start a conversation and get viewers to answer questions was very hard. This is probably because the main focus of such a livestream is the livestramer and not the viewers.
Why did we select those highlights?
Instagram Story Questions We liked the spontaneous answers people gave us. Also the length of the answers is limited so people have to focus on the core of their statement.
Google Forms Survey Interesting more in depth answers. It is easy to share the survey link and therefore can reach people outside of our bubble.
Video Interview The interviewed people are more freely to communicate compared to a phone call. They can show environments or objects through the camera. Furthermore the interviewer and the participant are “closer” together.
Audio Interview Negative highlight. It should that not every medium works for every target audience. Elderly or children would probably benefit from communication mediums where they don’t have to articulate sentences.
Were the expectations fulfilled?
Like expected the answers to our questions were very different. Most people were relaxed and others are scared and sad about the quarantine. Most people know how to entertain them self. Most people feel bad to have social distance and are afraid of infecting someone.
Which changes have to be made?
We need to find a better way to improve trust, so that we are able to ask morepersonal questions. Furthermore we need a better way to express more “hard to explain” topics like loneliness in the online medium. Maybe it would be a good idea to have group discussions and we as the interviewers stay in the background. Especially when talking about difficult topics.
Older people (some have slightly dementia) are having difficulties to answer to open questions. Furthermore they are not so technical advanced that they could use smartphones or other tools to communicate in a more visual way. A way to get a better understanding of their situation would probably be cultural probes. Unfortunately we can not meet them in person, due to the coronavirus.
We want to test if anonymity could help to communicate more personal topics.
What could be the next steps for field research?
Inform better about the topic communication.
Discovery: What is on the market that is used for communicating online or online multiplayer games.
Explore how people in different living situations (home-schooled, home-office, still working outside, retired and unemployed) use communication tools (which ones? for what purpose? how often?)
Unpack your topic further, see what angle you would like to look into
Playful humorous communication, connect people who are in a similar situation orhave similar interests and bring them to communicate and play with each other.
How do you want to get in touch with people online? How do you find your online community?
Contact people we personally know
Use Online Forms
Use social media to find interested people
Friends of friends
Public online groups
What type of media could you use to collect and record your impressions (chats, online video, sound, a mix of different media, etc..)
Chat
Video Interview (single and groups)
Telephone Interviews
Video or Photo diary
Cultural Probes (notebook, drawing and writing down thoughts, giving theminstructions on the pages)
1 note · View note
iamvonlauron-blog · 5 years
Text
This is Interesting.
Did you ever feel like you are desperately enjoying taking challenges instead of ranting and complaining? Or, have you experienced saying “yes” consistently on paper works that your teacher or boss has given to you? I mean, why don’t you feel the other way around? Why do you keep on liking and accepting challenges even though they are supposed to be hated? Is it something weird? Or there is an interesting secret behind it? Actually, the main reason why we have or experience this kind of feeling is basically all about the intimacy level of our love for what we are doing. Just try to imagine, if you will be given a chance to choose whether you will watch a comedy or a horror movie, of course your answer will depend on your interests, likes, dislikes, beliefs, perspectives, and more. It is the same with performing a task, your output will be the aftermath of how much love you have spent on it.
Proofreading/editing is one of the hardest tasks as an English Teacher. However, experiencing it is somehow worth to perform for. Undeniably, there were two biggest challenges in performing this task: (1) The editing part of the paper --- as a student and still a learner, editing someone’s paper is a difficult task to do. I mean, I am still on the process of learning just the same with them. It will never be easy to correct someone’s grammar, correct usage of prepositions, commas splices, dangling modifiers, correct usage of articles, and their structures if  I, personally, have still a lot of improvements needed as well. (2) Dealing with group mates --- yes, you are getting it right; we will always have these bossy, selfish, annoying, and irresponsible group mates. Honestly, I do not want to be a slave by these kind of people. Of course, who else does? It makes me feel like I am their servant; however, I can still accept tasks too, but in a nice way. Group task is supposed to be a “group” task. Each member should have a fairly assigned task that will collaborate and harmonize the output of the group as a whole.
 Aside from those several knowledge that I have learned from the task, attitude is something that is needed to be learned as well. During my first interview before entering college, I can still remember what the interviewer asked me. “What do you want to learn or improve more regardless on the lessons that this university will teach you?” It took me a couple of minutes to think what would be my answer. Unfortunately, I was not able to utter something and he answered it for me: “Attitude matters doy, always remember that.” As an English major, it is given that this program will never be easy. This journey is like eating an ice cream without seeing it. It may be impossible but it will never be if you have your lovely friends beside you. Again, gaining friends and trusting them easily is not an easy process; but, as long as you have the right attitude, they will stay with you through ups and downs.
Moreover, attitude is connected with communication. Communication is one of the most important skills that a person must have in order for him to connect with other people. As a student, I do not just learn lessons, but I also learn how to become a good communicator in multifarious aspects; because I believe that it is one of the bases to catechize a student’s credibility and efficiency. Furthermore, learning communication is one of the processes in becoming a professional. But, on the other hand, learning how to use it is still not enough, a professional must be able to learn how to read and comprehend between the lines. If an old man asks you “Can you get a glass of water for me?” You cannot just answer it by yes or no. Hence, the old man is trying to ask you to perform the said action by getting a glass of water for him. What I am trying to say here is, the complexity of communication skills is a must-to-learn skill for everyone.
Now, try to imagine, if a person fails, do you think he will do that failure again? Ninety percent (90%) of you guys will definitely say no. A failure will just be considered as a failure if it happens again and again. Experiencing it is the only way to realize the mistakes. However, experiences have also disadvantages; people tend to refuse and be afraid of doing something again that they had failed before. The main lesson here is to keep on going no matter what happen; it is okay to fail, but the dumbest thing that a person will make is by not trying at all.
1 note · View note
wcamino-confessions · 5 years
Text
Lionpatch
Firstly, yes I am 18 years old now, as of three days ago, am manager at McDonald’s, and yes I have a child. Firstly, being manager at McDonald’s isnt a huge accomplishment and isnt hard to achieve whatsoever. It doesnt even require a highschool diploma. Secondly, yes I have a fucking child and I’m gay. Before coming out I was in extreme denial for my entire teenage life and had sex with so many girls I lost count. And, yes, one of ‘em got fuckin pregnant. I am still gay, though, and I love my son very much. And yes she is Amish. So fucking what? I still visit and give her money to help out as much as possible until we can come to some sort of agreement. Third, I got banned because of stupid ass mistakes I made. I wasn’t describing my dick or my balls or preying on children, I was simply making jokes with people that were comfortable with those kind of jokes. Did I take it too far by putting it in my bio? Fuck yeah I did. But I don’t regret all the funny momenta I did have with my friends on Amino. The first one about me telling a friend that I finished their smut, that was a little thing I did for fun. I had a roleplay clan and since I was the only writers in the roleplay and we had virtually no rules on what we did in the chats, some of the members wanted smut on a couple ships. I initially did one for my best friend in the clan, and then did two more. We are all marure in the chat and could handle that kind of things as funny jokes. Then, in a different screenshot, in a private chat a friend of mine began jokingly wondering what it would be like to have a dick, and how it would be annoyong and how we could feel it on our leg, and they kept calling out my name. I then sarcastically replied, “yeah my dick is so big i can feel it on my leg and i have to wear bigger boxers so it fits.” I wasnt being overlly descriptive at all and it was an un-serious joke between friends. Then i was in a chat and we were talking about middle finger emojis. One person said they had none, I said I had six and I took a screenshot of that. Then, I dont even remember this one, there was a group chat that began talking about curved erect dicks, and then the next day when someome asked “why were we talking about curved erect dicks” and I thought it was hilarious and screenshotted it. Then I was in Lin’s private chat after cassie provoked Astro and then Astro kicked Lin from her own hangout chat. In this 2.0 chat, I yelled the three words that Cassie said to provoke Astro in the first place, which were “MOIST DADDY SQUIT” it was hilarious and i added it to my bio. Then there’s the fact that I stated my age in my bio
It think all of those combined is what got me banned, along with some of you guys flagging my profile for the dumbest reasons. Please quit talking about me. Its rude and it could be hurtful. I know I made mistakes, and I do have some regrets. I regeret loosing lots of my friends, and I regret loosing all my hard work and all I contributed into Amino and all the time I poured into it. Please don’t spread rumors about me anonymously either. If you had a problem with me, please let me know in a professional manner, not just calling me a bitch behind an anon. Its cowardly.
Also, the LT were just doing their job. I don’t blame them whatsoever. Because of all the flags on my profile, TA would have gotten to me and banned me anyway. Im appreciative to the LT for giving me to opportunity to say goodbye and saving some of my posts. My love and respects goes out to them, and any of my friends calling them dumbasses, don’t. They’re friends and it was all my fault.
13 notes · View notes
doomedandstoned · 5 years
Text
Engaging With Your Peers For DIY Success
~Bacon's Blog~
The single greatest thing you can do for your band is to make friends in every city. The single greatest thing you can do to make friends for your band is to help other bands out. It’s as simple as that. If you want DIY success, then that’s all that matters. In this article, I want to dive into some tactics for befriending other bands and working to grow together. If we can’t grow together then we are wasting our time. I know that some of you may really want to push a me, me, me approach, and that definitely works for a time. The thing is, it doesn’t work all the time and it often makes it so that you end up being stranded, unable to find people who want to collaborate with you. If you are self-serving, after a certain point, people are just going to respond with a "fuck that guy" attitude and your whole attempt at growth is going to be shot.
So how do you make friends with bands that want the same things as you? You know, the bands that are serious about finding opportunities to tour and support the scene? Well, for starts, you need to interact online in a big, bad way, then you'll start to realize that not all is as it seems. While you'll definitely find people who are cool, who want to grow and are willing to help, you're also going to find people who are self-seeking and egocentric, who will view you as nothing more than a stepping stone. Here’s a tip: if you are trying to use stoner rock or doom metal or whatever to get famous, give up and go home -- no one cares. You've got to be in it for the love of the game or not at all. You'll need a cadre of "at-bats" in this game, so you've got to put yourself out there and meet people. You may talk to a lot of different bands before you find the ones want to do cool shit, like actually contributing to their scene in new and meaningful ways.
The thing is, if a band is doing that kind of stuff they're probably in high demand, which is why you need to start by delivering some value of your own if you want to build a relationship with any kind of give-and-take. Outside of sending a DM, what I recommend doing to kick off any relationship is give the band you want to connect with a shout-out on your Instagram. Some might call that brown-nosing, I call that game recognizing game. There are other ways to find effective friends, too, like posting a frequently in Facebook groups and being generally active in the scene's online community. Like attracts like, so if people see that you are doing things like booking shows, hustling on IG, giving shout-outs and helping bands with art and stuff, then the other helpful people who care about this community are going to see the merit and want to work with you.
Once you’ve started connecting with other bands who seem to be hustling (and not idiots), you need to figure out how to be bring them value. This is especially true when you are the new dog in the pack. You want to show that you deserve to be there among the "old heads." One way to do this really well is to go beyond shout-outs and let a peer’s band use your mailing list for some outreach. If you do something like that, then people are suddenly excited about what you have to offer and maybe earning some new fans. Remember, people only care about themselves. A more low-tech version of this would be inviting that band to come play in your city. Obviously, that only makes sense if they live near you. It’s kind of silly to tell a band from Singapore, "Hit me up the next time you are in town."
With that said, last year a doom-stoner band from Montana called Wizzerd struck up a friendship with the members of a Norwegian band called Kal-EL, after chancing upon their music videos and being really taken with the concepts they were bringing to life. One thing led to another and soon Kal-El was right here in the good ol' US of A hitting the road on a handful of West Coast dates with Wizzerd. It was Kal-El's first trip to America, by the way. You think Kal-El is likely to return the favor when Wizzerd decides they want to do their European tour? Fair bet that all this good will is returned, and then some, but if not, at least Wizzard and Kal-El made some great music together, while boosting their name recognition and cross-promoting to new fans.
Tumblr media
Norway's Kal-El & Montana's Wizzerd at Kenton Club in Portland, Oregon
Finally, if you’ve made a promise or figured out a way to help out this community of bands out there doing meaningful shit in your scene, you need to remember to really deliver. So often, I see bands who get excited to make friends and offer to book shows or provide contacts or whatever, but then never deliver. This has always been my thing, to figure out a way to deliver as much value as possible, not just say that I am going to deliver it. Once you make that differentiation (saying vs. doing), because you fully appreciate what’s going on and where the other bands are coming from, only then will you see real success. If you just talk a big game and then end up ghosting people, word will get out and no one’s going to want to work with you – it’s as simple as that. Yes, I know it’s hard to make these kinds of friends, but it’s what you need to do if you want your band to get ahead.
Matt Bacon (IG: mattbacon666) with Dropout Media is a consultant, A&R man, and journalist specializing in the world of heavy metal. Matt also co-hosts the Dumb & Dumbest podcast with Curtis Dewar of Dewar PR.
1 note · View note
pleasurextreasure · 6 years
Text
❜Moment in Time (pt. 1/?)
Tumblr media
genre: yoongi x reader, angst, fluff, university!au
word count: 3k
warnings: cute reader tbh
prompt: heartbroken yoongi can’t get over an ended relationship. until he meets you does he begin to feel what love is again
a/n: I freaking love Min Yoongi okay  ➵admin kiki
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
It’s the only thing that runs through his mind whenever he looks down at the polaroid in his hand. Inside the white bordered frame is a picture of him and her. The him who is in the picture contrasts to the him now. He’s all smiles, striking the dumbest pose topped off with a peace sign high in the air. Her pose is no different. Their outfits are similar, and the two tiny ponytails on his head matches her long, frizzy ones. It was ‘twins’ day’ during their welcoming week of being First Year university students. That was back when times were good. When he was happier, and she was the reason for it.
This picture was well over two years old, yet it was still in good condition, save for the small crinkle at the corner due to it always being carried around in his wallet. He couldn’t find a good enough reason as to why he still has it other than the fact that he missed her. Namjoon says it’s a waste to keep it. But he thinks differently. It was hard for him to throw the memories of her away when there were approximately two years, eight months, and fourteen days that taunted him every day. How could someone so easily forget the one thing that made them feel so full of life and motivated them to keep going?
He catches himself gripping the picture tightly and relaxes his fingers, sighing in the process. He gently tucks the polaroid back into his wallet, into the crevice behind the plastic holder for his license and shoves his wallet back into his pocket. He grabs his phone, pressing the power button to look at the time. He notices a notification from Jimin and unlocks his phone to answer the younger one.
 From: Jimin P
Boys & I are going to
Delta Pi Sigma’s tonight…
You in?
 That’s right, it was Friday. Lately, the days have been blurring by despite his constant knowledge of what the date was. It slipped his mind that another week has ended, and he only had three classes today.
 To: Jimin P
I don’t know.
From: Jimin P
Come onnn, you didn’t party with
us last weekend either :(
To: Jimin P
I have a shit load of
assignments to do. The
semester’s kicking my ass.
From: Jimin P
Don’t lie to me?? Namjoon said you
were up for the past two nights
to finish homework to relax over
the weekend or some shit
 Curse his roommate and his big mouth that he can never keep shut. Despite it being true he was homework-free for the weekend, it didn’t give him an excuse to go out partying. The last party he went to with his friends and roommate ended badly. He woke up hungover with French fries in his shoes and the stench of alcohol stinging his nostrils with its pungent smell. Was it also worth mentioning he awoke in Jimin’s closet, apparently claiming the night before that he refused to ‘get out of the closet’.
His phone buzzes, again.
 From: Jimin P
…Please come?
To: Jimin P What time?
From: Jimin P
:) eight
To: Jimin P
We’ll see.
From: Jimin P
THAT’S MY BOY :’) Tae & I will swing by to grab you and Namjoon after our 5pm.
 He’s about to set his phone back down when he vibrates once more, the message’s preview leaves a bitter after taste in his mouth. He doesn’t bother to reply and drops his phone on his ruffled sheets, bringing himself up off the bed to get ready for his afternoon classes.
 From: Jimin P
You deserve to be
happy, Yoongi.
 ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴
 The History and Art of Rock n’ Roll had to be the most excruciating, time-consuming, and overall boring class Yoongi has had to take in the three years he’s been here at Seoul University. The class was ridiculously easy but was such a drag that most students struggled to stay awake. As he made his way to the back of the room, and began to take his seat, he was interrupted when someone bumped their backpack into him.
Turning around to see what asshole couldn’t watch where they were going, he was mildly surprised to lock gazes with big, round (y/e/c) eyes that were already looking at him.
“I’m so sorry,” you begin, bowing your head in apology. You offer a polite smile, “These seats are too close to the wall, and I have one too many binders in my bag.”
Yoongi couldn’t help but think of how similar this stranger looked like her, and it made his gut wrench in an unknown way. The hand that gripped the back of his chair tightens as he lets out a forced chuckle.
“I was ready to cuss you out,” he jokes, and you laugh at this. His heart stutters at the sound, something that hasn’t happened for far too many months now. “Anyway, no worries.”
You bob your head in a short nod and show him another smile, this one relaxed. “Thank you.” You begin to shuffle away from him without another word and take the chair two seats away. Yoongi takes note of this.
As soon as the digital clock on Yoongi’s laptop screen switches to ‘12:00’, his professor begins his devastating fifty-minute lecture. He spends his time scrolling through the Yamaha website, window-shopping their selection of electric keyboards and various piano styles. Every so often, he’d catch himself glancing to his left where you were seated, his interest piquing with your appearance.
You currently wore glasses, he assumes it’s to see the chicken-scratch handwriting on the whiteboard. Black hair is pulled to the side in a braid and he takes a few seconds to marvel at the braid type.
“It’s a fishtail braid,” she explained, holding the ends of the braid to give him a better view of the folded strands of hair. His fingers had gently run down the length of her hair, impressed at how talented his girlfriend was.
Yoongi forces himself to push away the memory, not wanting to sink into a pool of self-pity.
“Are you alright?” You, now noticing this guy staring rather intently at you, asks, leaning towards him to keep as quiet as possible.
He looks up at you, startled and embarrassed that you caught him in a moment. “Sorry… I, uh, like your hair. It suites you.”
You brighten at the compliment, much to his surprise. He was expecting an unimpressed look and for you to begin to think of him as a weirdo. A smile that made your eyes crinkle at the corners was the last thing he was expecting to receive. “Thank you.”
The conversation came to an end and you went back to listening to the professor. Throughout the rest of the lecture, despite his willfulness, Yoongi couldn’t help but sneak in a few more glances.
 ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴
 “Who’s ready to par-tay?” Taehyung’s excitement rumbles throughout the dorm room as he barges in, arms flying into the air and allowing the door to swing back into the wall. Jimin follows close behind, looking unamused by the outburst his roommate was making.
“Started without us, didn’t he?” Namjoon asks, and Jimin helplessly shrugs. The older rolls his eyes and looks over at Yoongi, who is battling to put on one of his black hoodies.
“You’re seriously going to wear that?” Jimin criticizes, crossing his arms over his chest for added effect. “Do you own anything that isn’t fifty shades of black?”
“Shut up,” Yoongi snaps as his head pokes through the hoodie’s hole. “I said I would go but I never said I’d dress up for it. Plus, who the hell am I trying to impress?”
“Yeah, sure, alright.” Jimin nods, refusing to bring himself into an argument he’s found himself in one too many times. It was hard to convince his friend that it was time to move on, to let things go, and move on. It pained him to see Yoongi suffer but it was out of his control on just how much of his help was accepted.
The group of friends depart for the party and soon find themselves walking up the steps of the hosting Fraternity house. After going through the usual ‘What’s the password?’ from one of the rushing members (this week’s party password is cheesy Cheetos), and being accepted into the house, Yoongi finds himself feeling suffocated.
There must be around five people per square foot and he doesn’t think that’s even physically possible. But from the number of grinding, dancing, and walking bodies, he begins to believe it as a possibility. He pulls Taehyung to the side, informing him he’ll be at the back of the house then proceeds to do just that.
He fights his way through the crowd – literally fights his way through because no one knows what ‘excuse me’ stands for anymore. He is finally free from the jungle of flailing limbs and breathes in deeply when he finds a less populated area out on the patio. He allows himself to sink into the cushioned seats of the swinging bench and props his head back, gazing up at the stars.
They used to do this quite often. Mainly at the request of her because she’s loved the stars since she was a little girl and could name almost every one that shone that night. Talking about the night sky and its wonders made her eyes light up brighter than the North Star or any star. Yoongi loved watching the raw passion she bore whenever she talked about or did something she loved.
“Beautiful, aren’t they?” The sudden voice makes Yoongi lift his head faster than he anticipates and a sense of rush courses its way through his head. His breath noticeably hitches when he sees the same girl, you, from earlier. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
To his disappoint, your hair wasn’t in the braid you wore earlier, and instead sat atop your head in a bun. He shakes the negative feeling off and offers a grin.
“Two in one day. Are you trying to set a record with me?”
“Who knows,” you tease in return, much to his pleasure. Your sense of humor reminded him of her and Yoongi enjoyed this. You motion to the empty spot beside him, “Would you mind if I sat with you?”
“No, not at all.” He makes the effort of scooting further from the spot and allows you to take the seat beside him.
His fingers are beginning to twitch, wanting to tap against something to calm his nerves. Yoongi wasn’t sure why he was getting worked up over this girl. Deep down, deep within his heart, he wondered if the similarities you bore with his first love is what’s causing all of this. 
He isn’t one to believe in love at first sight. It was a cliché that almost never worked out in the end. Yoongi preferred the kind of love that starts off as friends and gradually evolves into something more. Much like what he had until a few months ago.
“So…” you begin, “do you want to talk about why you looked like you were about to cry? Or is it too personal to tell a stranger?”
He’s taken aback by your brashness, which is something she never had. She had always beat around the bush when it came to questioning things, never directly asking the real question. Yet, he couldn’t help but think that he didn’t not like it. Not wanting to admit to you – and to himself – the reason for his solemnness, Yoongi utters the first thing that comes to his mind.
“I forgot to blink.” He wants to slap himself for how dumb he’s sounded.
“You forgot to… blink?” your head tilts to the side as you questioningly look at him. He dumbly nods, and you snort, “Well, not everyone remembers to. I won’t judge.”
Yoongi’s not sure why he feels a sense of relief at you words. Maybe because there won’t be one extra person out there who thinks he’s weird.
“Anyway!” Your outburst shocks him. “What are you doing out here by yourself? Friends ditch you or something?”
“For your information, I ditched them,” he replies, smoothly.
“Mhm, gotcha. Still kind of boring to be out here alone, don’t you think?”
“You’re here now, aren’t you?” He notices the redness in your cheeks begin to deepen. He makes the effort not to put much thought into it. “What were you doing out here by yourself?”
“Same as you, I guess. The friends I came with are party animals and I’m… not.” You bashfully reply, scratching your upper lip as you refuse to make eye contact with him.
“Then why’d you come?” Yoongi internally flinches at how accusing he’s sounded but doesn’t verbally acknowledge it. Instead, he just waits for your response.
“To get out of the dorm, I suppose. Irene says I need to get some fresh air occasionally if I want to stay alive.”
“I see.”  
You two fall silent once your short-lived conversation ends, the duo unable to find words to create a new topic of discussion. Yoongi finds himself gazing down at your hands, noticing the monochromatic polish that your nails adorn and the slight chubbiness of your fingers.
You breathe out a sigh, attracting his attention back to your face. Your head was tilted upwards as a smile graced your thin lips. “Are you a fan of astronomy?”
“Not really, no.”
“Ah, I see.” You’re staring back at him now and Yoongi can’t stop the erratic beat his heart picks up. “You looked really interested in the sky just now, so I thought you were.”
“I took a class back in my first year, though.” he replies. “My… friend and I decided to take it together.”
“Sounded fun.” You muse. “I wish I could take fun classes like astronomy. I’m stuck with those boring ones everyone tries to avoid taking.”
“Well, if the classes are boring, then the major has to be on the same level.” Yoongi teases, taking joy in the fake gasp you give.
“Psychology isn’t as boring as everyone makes it out to be.” You defend, eyebrows furrowing to match your jutting bottom lip. He found the look to almost be cute. “There’s a lot of interesting things you can learn. If you really pay attention to the person, you could tell if they’re lying or telling the truth, for example. How can that be boring?”
“Sounds like a load to me.”
“Oh, really?” You scoff. “Then what do you do, huh? You look like you’re a business major, especially if you’re dragging mine down like this.”
“Music major, actually.” Yoongi corrects, a smug-tone accompanying his words. “My roommate’s in business, though.”
“Whoa, really?” Your previous episode of mock offense diminishes, and you brightly beams. “That’s so cool! Do you sing?”
“No, I’m studying to become a music producer.”
“That’s even cooler!” You clasp your hands together in excitement and Yoongi couldn’t help the smile from forming on his lips. “So, you write your own music then?” He nods in answer. “Wow.”
“It isn’t that interesting.” He meekly shrugs, growing bashful at your compliments.
Your reaction differed from hers. Despite the continuing support he was given by his ex-girlfriend, she was never truly on the same level as him of passion. There were times when she would gently urge him to pick a more practical career path, claiming that music wasn’t for everyone and it was difficult to pursue.
But this reaction he was currently receiving… it was refreshing. Someone other than his friends, was supporting him with his decision. And it was someone he didn’t even know the name of.
“What’s your name?” He found himself asking without a second thought to it. He inwardly screams, scolding himself for acting weird once again.
“(Y/N).” You answer, tone indifferent from the one you’ve been using. “Yours?”
“Yoongi.”
“Cute.” The word is out before you could stop yourself, causing both to grow flustered. “Ah, um… sorry.”
Yoongi says nothing in return, allowing the dismissive wave of his hand be enough of an answer. He currently couldn’t trust his voice because of how embarrassed he grew to be. Before another wave of silence could sweep over, your attention is brought to the screeching of the glass sliding door being pushed open.
“There you are.” Jimin says, his usual cheerful smile on full display. “I couldn’t find you anywhere and was beginning to think you bailed on us.”
“The thought crossed my mind.” Yoongi replies, forcing himself to stand up and leave the comforting aura he was beginning to indulge in. “What’s wrong?”
“So, before you get mad…” his friend nervously chuckles, hand coming to sit on the back of his neck as he looks off to the woodened patio. “Jungkook may or may not have snuck in through some connections and is wasted.”
“Jeon Jungkook?” you question, unknowingly stopping Yoongi’s outburst that was ready to unleash itself. “Isn’t he a freshman?”
“Well, funny story—”
“Where is he?” Yoongi interrupts. “Did one of you at least stay with him?”
“Of course! We’re not that dumb.” Jimin quickly defends as he re-opens the sliding door. “He’s out in the front yard with Namjoon. We figured you’d want to be the one to see him safely home.” He heads back inside, not waiting for Yoongi to follow.
“Ugh, that kid…” he trails off, glancing back at you who looked confused over the situation. “Looks like they need me. I’m sorry.”
“Oh no, go right ahead! Your friend needs you.” The kind smile you offer him is one he doesn’t deserve, not with how abruptly he must leave you and your comforting appearance. “It was nice talking to you, Yoongi. See you Monday?”
He purses his lips together in a polite smile of his own and nods. He slips through the opening and closes the glass door behind him, fingers momentarily squeezing the handle. As he made his way through the overcrowded rooms for a second time, the only thing that crossed his mind was how pretty you looked while smiling.
He wanted to see it again.
93 notes · View notes
lolabean1998 · 6 years
Text
Ali-cat (Part 1)
Sweet pea fanfic 
The school was covered in graffiti, security checks at the door and gangs at every corner. Ali’s new school wasn’t looking very promising, she had just moved to Southside from her previous home in England, her Mum had been offered a job as a Lawyer in Riverdale and had spent all their money moving, so they could only afford a small house on the outskirts of Southside trailer park. Ali was an only child and with her father out of the picture it was just her and her mum. 
It was her first day at Southside high and she was already dreading it, rumours of a fight between the Northsiders and Southsiders had sent her stomach churning. She crept through the scanners avoiding all eye contact, her mousey brown hair tied in a loose scruffy bun and her already pale skin losing what little colour it had with every breath she took. This was the most terrifying school she had ever set eyes on, students taking drugs in broad daylight at school like it was no biggie. The heavily branded gang members grouped together at every turn made her thankful for all the martial arts classes she had taken back in England. Ali shuffled awkwardly towards her locker, her headphones in playing her favourite tunes from the recent chart toppers. ~If I avoid all forms of social interaction I’ll be grand~ she thought as she found her locker and attempted to unlock it but the lock was temperamental, her nerves already shaky she began to panic. Eventually punching her locker with frustration, it popped open pulling all attention to the new girl looking very nervous. ~Great now I look like a new chew toy for these thugs to throw around~ Ali thought as she shoved her unneeded books into her locker.
“Looks like fresh meat, 10 bucks says she doesn't last the day.” A pink haired girl commented from across the hall, a large leather jacket hung on her slim figure, a large double ended snake embossed proudly on the back. Her two accomplices smiling cruelly as they took her up on the bet. The one guy was short compared to the giant stood next to him, his dark eyes and tanned skin making him look very sharp but dangerous. The giant stood next to him was not only considerably taller but his black locks and threatening tattoo on his neck made him extremely intimidating, the dark angry look in his eyes only making things worse. Ali gulped as she watched from the corner of her eye, she had now become the days entertainment, great. She looked down at her timetable, turning up the volume for her headphones to drown out the sound of her future tormentors. English and Maths first, she heaved a sigh of relief as she made her way to her first class, zigging and zagging between her fellow students. 
“You must be the new girl, welcome to hell. Take a seat.” Her English teacher waved to the class before leaning back in their chair and going back to their newspaper.
“Thank you, If you could just give me the work for this week I’ll get on with it quietly on my own.” Ali smiled politely, her strong English countryside accent booming like a beacon as she spoke, she tried to hide it but there was no masking it. Her teacher looked up in surprise at her request but handed her a large textbook before waving her off like some kind of peasant. Ali found an empty seat by the window at the front of the class and decided to claim this as her own little corner, hoping that its ideal location for learning wouldn't cause too much trouble or draw any attention to her. She had just opened her textbook when the classroom door swung open and the three gangsters strode in laughing loudly, all three wearing matching snake branded leather jackets. Ali shuddered as they moved to the table next to her, sitting with there backs to her.
The morning had gone rather successfully, Ali had managed to gather her work for the week and begun working through it quietly on her own, so far only speaking to her teachers.
She wandered tentatively into the cafeteria, looking round at all the fenced off sections, she figured it was an attempt at lowering the potential for fights. Catching a glimpse of the food being served Ali decided against eating, instead she made her way out the cafeteria and towards the direction of the library. The next couple of days Ali managed to stay under the radar, spending her lunchtimes in the library studying and keeping her headphones in at all times. Gym class was easy to graze through, she changed out of her usual jeans and t-shirt into a pair of skimpy shorts and an old polo shirt in the girls changing room, which was empty except from the occasional group of JJ junky girls, and headed towards the small unloved track. After running laps for an hour she would have a quick shower before throwing her clothes back on and heading out. 
It was now over a week in and she had allowed herself to talk to a small group of kids that weren’t part of either of the gangs, instead grouping together for safety in numbers. Ali was sat in the cafeteria talking to her new friends about her obsessive need to constantly have her headphones in, laughing at there jokes about her accent. They began teasing her about how she would dance to herself during lesson whenever a good song came on.
“Yeah but I’ll bet you won’t dance on the table, 10 bucks says you’re too chicken.” One of the girls teased placing her bet on the table. Ali smirked, she wasn’t afraid to express herself, despite how she came across, she took the money before choosing her favourite song ‘Hey Mario’ and climbing onto the table. Singing along as the tunes played in her ears and dancing happily to the words. She was aware of the hundreds of pairs of eyes that had suddenly locked onto her sudden display but she ignored them and continued to dance until the song was over, bowing dramatically before climbing down and settling back in her seat. She glanced around the room and caught the tall dark haired boy she had seen on her first day staring at her, she watched curiously for a second when he caught her glance and locked eyes with her. She felt her stomach tie up in uneasy knots. He had been watching her for days now and had been watching her before her little performance. 
“He’s been checking you out for a while now Ali,” The ginger haired girl that had placed the Bet earlier commented. “He’s the top man for the serpents, scary kid too. Don’t think he knows what fear feels like.” Ali pulled her eyes back to her new friend, breaking eye contact with this dark and mysterious gangster making him smirk. 
“That’s not terrifying at all, every one is afraid of something.” Ali replied, glancing back one last time, there was something about him that Ali couldn’t help but want to know more. 
“Careful Ali, he goes through girls like fat kid does cake!” Her friend warned again, Ali smiled up at her green eyed friend picking up her sketch book.
“Come on Cas, You’re my model for the day and I want to get a good spot before the hooligans join us.” Ali grinned as the pair got to their feet, heading towards their art class.  They were just leaving the cafeteria when a tall, sickly looking boy grabbed Ali by the wrist pulling her to his side, Cas frozen in fear by the door.
“Well, if it isn’t the cute little English newbie, where’s the rush? come sit, join us hear for a bit...” The boy teased with a wicked grin pulling her close to his side. Ali smiled politely, pulling her limbs away from the creepy Ghoulie leaning on the table to face them all.
“With all do respect guys if I do decide to join a gang, it’s not going to be with some one who wears the logo of an angry shoe lace on their backs,” Ali gestured to the serpents still smiling sweetly to the group, “Or circus rejects such as yourselves. But thank you for the invitation it was very sweet.” She straightened up, giving the group an apologetic wave before heading off to save Cas from the panic attack she was about to have.
“Are you insane?” Cas hissed as they entered the art room, “That was the single most badass thing you could’ve done and also the dumbest. Your going to have both gangs on your back now!” Ali shrugged, setting up her canvas and pencils.
“Stop worrying and sit still, this has to be good for my portfolio.” She chirped, Cas sat cross legged on a table in front of her. “I’m sure they’ll get bored eventually, They don’t heckle you guys any more.” 
“Yes they do Ali, that's why we stick together, they only bother us when we’re on our own but they will always be recruiting.” Cas informed her oblivious friend. The door flew open as she finished and the group of Ghoulies Ali had spoken to earlier strolled arrogantly in. 
“You want to paint me next baby?” The creep from earlier sneered, sitting close to Cas and posing dramatically.
“Please let my friend go and leave us be.” Ali asked sweetly, trying to keep her relaxed and polite composure, but the Ghoulie ignored her request wrapping an arm around Cas’s waist. “Listen sweetheart, I really need you to let go of my friend, if you refuse I’ll be forced to cut your arm off with my scalpel and that could get very messy, since, I have no medical expertise.” She gave him a worried look picking up the scalpel from her sketch set.
“You threatening me baby?” He stood leaving Cas and making his way over to Ali, who was still the perfect embodiment of cool and collected. 
“Please don’t call me baby, I have mastered the art of walking and talking and not only can I use my cutlery without the need of assist but I am also very skilled in using chopsticks, all of which a baby would fail to do.” Ali informed him, her English accent growing thick with every word. “Now if you don't mind, I have a portfolio to finish and should you carry on, mugshots to draw up. I don’t think the sheriff is going to be too pleased to hear that his favourite sketch artist is being threatened, so if you please, the door is to your left.” Ali smiled politely, guiding her unwanted friends to the door, the groups faces dropped when she mentioned the Sheriff and left quietly, however Ali feared she had just jabbed the metaphorical Lion.
“Wait you know the Sheriff?” Cas asked scratching her head in confusion.
“Nope, never met him but they don't know that.” Ali laughed getting back to her canvas.
Ali was on her way home when she noticed a job advertisement in the window of a bar named the ‘Whyte Wyrm’, she knew they could use the extra cash so decided to go in and apply. She pushed open the heavy door and was greeted by a bar full of snake branded leather jackets, gulping hard she took a step inside and made her way calmly towards the barman who was stood talking to an older man with long combed back hair and a well grown beard. Ali stood politely by the bar waiting for them to finish their conversation, but they had soon fallen silent and were now staring at her in disbelief at the strange girl beside them.
“Hi I’m really sorry to interrupt but I noticed the job advertisement outside and I was hoping to apply. I’ve worked in a pub before, clearing tables, taking orders and making cocktails. I am still in school but I can work after school, on the weekends and of course full time during the holidays. if your worried about me listening to things I ought not too, I am more than happy to work with my headphones in and avoid all forms of social interaction, but I really need this job.” She introduced using her sweetest smile and best puppy dog eyes. “Please, I promise I won’t cause any trouble.” she gave her best innocent smile. The tall man stood next to her smiled, reaching out his hand for her to shake.
“What’s your name kid?” The man asked, giving her an impressed look.
“Oh right, Ali, my names Ali, I should’ve led with that.” She laughed nervously, shaking the guys hand and turning to the man behind the bar to shake his hand too.
“Well Ali, I’m Tall Boy and this here is Hog Eye, he runs the bar.” Tall boy smiled, “You’ve got gumption kid I’ll give you that, you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?” he asked gesturing to the crowd of branded gang members.
“I believe I’ve just applied for a job as a waitress in what appears to be the main hub for a group of people sporting logos of angry shoelaces and going by the name of Serpents. Correct me if I'm wrong.” Ali gave a friendly laugh, combing her hand nervously through her long hair, Hog Eye and Tall Boy laughed at her honest answer.
“Close kid, maybe keep the angry shoelace comment to yourself though yeah. Take it you’re not scared of snakes then.” Hog Eye chuckled leaning on the bar.
“I’ll bare that in mind thank you and as for snakes, I see no reason to be afraid of something that can be defeated by tying it in a knot, besides they are too cute to be scary. If you were called the spiders however, I would be moving country and praying you didn't find me. Too many legs.” Ali gave a disgusted shiver at the thought. Tall boy and Hog Eye laughed at her response, giving each other a quick nod before Hog Eye handed her a short black apron. 
“You can start tomorrow I take it? 5- 9pm see how you manage that for a bit, I’ll give you time to adjust before piling on the Hours.” Hog Eye smiled giving her a friendly nod, Ali smiled accepting the apron.
“Thank you so much, you won’t regret it.” She thanked Hog Eye before heading towards the door.
“Oh and Kid, you may want to rethink your choice in clothing, try to blend in a bit.” Tall Boy called, she raised her thumb to acknowledge his advice before disappearing out the door.
“Hey mum, you’ll never guess what I got today!” Ali called throwing her shoes on the shoe rack by the door and dumping her school bag on the kitchen table.
“A boyfriend?!” Her mum guessed, standing up from looking wishfully into the oven at the lasagne she had just finished putting together. Ali raised her eyebrows giving her mum a stern glare before giggling.
“Try less optimism and more reality.” Ali joked pouring her and her mum a large glass of orange juice each.
“Ok, soo... a job?” her mum guessed, looking at her daughters proud face.
“Yep, working in a bar called the Whyte Wyrm. the spelling bugs me but it was the only place close by that was advertising. I start tomorrow at 5.” Ali reported taking a large sip of her drink. Her mums face dropped and Ali could’ve sworn her pale blonde hair turned a shade greyer. 
“That’s serpent central Ali, I hope you know what you’re doing. I’ve heard an awful lot of stories about those guys, If I think its getting out of hand you’re leaving immediately understand.” Her mum stressed giving her a worried stare, Ali smiled placing a comforting hand on her mums shoulder. 
“It’s ok mum, Hog Eye said that I can work with my headphones in and I don’t have to talk to any one besides him and Tall Boy.” Ali soothed sitting at the table and starting on her homework. Her mum shook her head at the ridiculous names these serpents gave themselves but she put her trust in the fact that Ali knew how to handle herself and usually survived throwing herself into situations like this.
“Ok if you say its safe I believe you. So what homework are we doing tonight?” Her mum asked sitting beside Ali to look at the text book she was now pouring over. Ali loved doing her homework with her mum, she made everything seem so simple and she had yet to come across something her mum didn't know.
Masterlist
92 notes · View notes
denimini · 6 years
Text
About Ships, G.C.F, Jungkook and Jimin and ship wars
This is an open reply to a wonderful post by @noransaekk . I was inspired by it but I don't claim that the original poster shares my opinion. These thoughts are my own thoughts! Also, this is in no shape or form an attack on other ships, nor am I trying to convince anyone in anything. It is merely an opinion and an invite to a peaceful discussion. So, let’s beginn:
I will start by saying this: shipping is a part of every Kpop fandom, of the industry as a whole, idols know this and they are encouraged to use it. Simply said: shipping draws attention to an artist and therefore from a business point of view helps the sales. Regarding BTS there are three main controversial ships (I’m not naming them, all of you know them) and each of them has its moments. Some more eyebrow raising, others more.. speculative (for lack of a better world) but nonetheless everyone is free to ship whatever they want as long as it does no harm to the band and other people! In a way shipping is helpful because it creates discussions about heteronormativity, sexuality, society and etc.
Regarding BTS, in the second half of 2017 and particularly after G.C.F shipping took a different form.
But lets start a little back..
Jungkook is a private person. Granted I am a relatively new ARMY, I joined the fandom in May this year, but even I immediately noticed he doesn’t like sharing as much as the other members. It literally took him a fan contract and a hella thicc bag of trophies to post selcas lately. I don’t know if he is going through a tough period or not but it is clear that he is a private person now. He dodged questions about crushes, he doesn’t post things, he doesn’t boast but does things quietly (example:buying only Jm a birthday present which we would know nothing about if not from the other members). So considering this, G.C.F is not a big but an enormous deal ! And also one of the, if not THE most convincing shipping moment in all of Bangtan history! Because:
1. It is a trip between two friends and bandmates who see each other constantly and still choose to spend their short break together. A pre-planned trip but also full of spontaneity
2. The video was very thoroughly planned and executed. The shots Jk took were not random, they probably fitted a predetermined idea of his of what exactly he wanted to produce and how to film it. He started as early as the airport!
3. There is no fan service about this. Jimin didn’t know about the video. They didn’t go to work. They went to Disney and watched fireworks. They were there for pleasure, not on business
4. The music. The song Jk chose was not a random choice either judging by the way it matched the video so beautifully. He selected it probably for a reason. A song by Troye - an artist he likes and wants to collaborate with, a successful gay one at that. For a long time Jk chose all the time firstly JB as his inspiration but not anymore. Now always and mostly first he mentions Troye. Maybe the reason is he admires him, maybe he is a role model for him, someone he wishes he could be: open about himself but still with a great music career .
5. The way the video was shared: a simple link in Twitter, no explanation given. A quiet, non boastful way to say: this is may work .
The video is Jungkook baring himself to us. It is a bold bold move for someone as private and intent on not sharing like him. Perhaps this is him saying: This is me. This is who I really am. What I really feel. This is who I love. Maybe this is him literally saying that last year took a toll on him, that he travelled around the world and back again but he made it because of someone special next to him, someone who he hoped waited for him in the end (cue a direct shot of Jimin from the front), waited for him to maybe find himself and his path and then find each other
There are many speculations about this trip: that it was a birthday gift, that it was rescheduled due to leaking of information, what the room in the hotel they slept in looked like. But taking all of this aside and only taking in consideration the above mentioned, solid, impossible to disprove facts: This is the strongest ship moment in BTS to date. (In my very humble opinion)
Which leads me to my next point: Jungook and Jimin
I personally believe there is something between Jk&Jm. All of Bangtan are close with each other but these two just seem more intimate (romantically, don't take this the weird way or do but please do so respectfully). And if there truly is, I think they have been testing the waters and our reactions since spring/summer. There was BV and the very much discussed "Let's go baby", the Summer package and the suggestive Unicorn pics, 21c moments, The Tokyo trip and every moment after it. If there truly is something going on, it is honestly one of the greatest love stories. A story about growing up together different in a conservative and homophobic society, in a hard industry but finding in each other someone special, someone to rely on and call home. A story about the prevail of love, about coming of age and coming together.
But!!! If there is nothing between them and they are really simply friends, that is ok too. It is also ok if they are asexual or if they have secret girlfriends. It is also fine if they date other members of the group (though I would be very worried if my bf acts like this in front of me with my friend *cough* Vote for me, Jungkook; Jimin, please catch me *cough*). It is fine because ship wars are the dumbest thing ever. We are all firstly ARMYs. There is a fair amount of reaching in all ships (the hickey situation, jk dating iu secretly) but we should all try our best to stay leveled and civil. I get that maybe G.C.F was too big of a moment for some people of other ships and they may have felt threatened. Maybe that is what caused all the ugly incest comments or abusing of shippers. But in my opinion shipping should be taken lightly because it is far from the most important thing!
The most important thing is this: we don't know the sexuality of any of the boys and thus we should strive to let them know and make them feel supported and loved no matter what. They shouldn't have to see stupid ship wars on official videos and no member should be abused, threatened or offended! We should love each of them!
Lastly, with everything surrounding Jungkook at this moment:
It may turn out that our beloved bunny is not fully heterosexual (or at all) after all!
And we should fully love and support him no matter who he may be with!
We should also love each other, because first and foremost we are all part of this mostly wonderful fandom! The boys we stan are genuine and kind people and we ourselves should take after them!
That is all. Thank you for reading! Please feel free to talk to me but let's be gentle and civil with each other! There are no malicious thoughts behind this post just some personal opinions.
2K notes · View notes
dalekofchaos · 6 years
Text
My problems with The Last Jedi
I did not like The Last Jedi, I strongly feel like it's the worst Star Wars movie ever made. It’s The Room Of Star Wars and worse than The Holiday Special, but let me tell you why I don’t like it and why I feel it killed the Sequel Trilogy for me
My other Sequel Trilogy Critical posts
My TFA critical post
The Incompetence Of The First Order
Why Kylo Ren being redeemed is a bad idea
My problem with Rey
The wasted potential of Captain Phasma
The lowsped chase. Now onto the chase, or as I like to call it “the dumbest bit of military nonsense since the Emu war.” You have the First Order Fleet chasing the Resistance flotilla, supposedly the Resistance fleet is “faster” but they aren’t opening the gap between them and the First Order because… it would burn more fuel (because inertia isn’t a thing in Star Wars Space)? So they stay just at the extreme range of the First Order’s guns, and the Raddus has to be on the receiving end of a potshot every once in a while. Meanwhile said Resistance ships are flying in a straight line, direct away from the First Order fleet, so why not just set course past them and Hyperspace in front of them and catch them in the middle? Are interdictors at play here? Are they content to just think the fleet will run out of fuel and they can just catch them? It bothers me to understand that the heroes are only alive because of the gross incompetence of the First Order, because it doesn’t speak well to the capabilities of the heroes. Let me ask you what would be more exciting? The Resistance and The New Republic uniting their forces and having a big battle while Leia is using battle meditation so she can lead The Resistance to victory? Or a boring lowsped chase that involves being low on fuel, something never being talked about in Star Wars at all and have a edgelord ending where The Resistance is in ruins and only has 12 members left just so The Resistance can fit on the Falcon? It was so STUPID. Hyperspace fuel is never talked about for a reason, it cheapens the greatness of hyperspace travel and is not needed. We watch Star Wars for oh I don’t know a war in space. We didn’t need a boring lowsped chase, we needed an actual fight between The Resistance/New Republic and The First Order. With Leia’s battle meditation up against Snoke’s battle meditation. Leia’s will against Snoke’s might. 
The First Order reigns. I am just baffled at the crawl. “The First Order reigns” HOW??? They lost Starkiller Base and a huge majority of their forces. How are they in control of the galaxy?  SINGLE DAY HAS PASSED, HOW DO THEY HAVE ENOUGH FORCES TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE GALAXY??? The New Republic just gives up? That’s like saying the terrorists took control over the world after 9/11. The First Order are a fringe terrorist group, they are not the Empire. They should not be in control. Unknown Regions resources or not, they should not be powerful enough to reign supreme over the galaxy. What should have happened is The New Republic’s forces should’ve joined forces with The Resistance and take the fight to The weakened First Order. It’s also complete bullshit The First Order would take over considering The First Order’s terrible tactics. It’s just...baffling.
The First Order’s Incompetence during the Evacuation of D’Qar. Hux is goaded into allowing a Starfighter into point blank range with one of their fleet’s more valuable assets, he doesn’t launch a fighter screen to keep that fighter at bay, and when a real danger is detected, still does nothing. Captain Canady is left to launch his own fighters from Fulminatrix, and gets no support from Hux or the rest of the First Order fleet. Hux doesn’t launch support fighters, direct their batteries to put up defensive fire covering the dreadnought, nothing, no he’s too busy massaging his bruised ego because some flyboy put him on tilt with what amounts to a practical joke, and an 8km long warship pays the price for their incompetence. Now onto said Dreadnought. They have this weapon that is capable of dealing planetary bombardment and chooses to fire on a nearly abandoned planet instead of targeting the Resistance ship that is used to carry The Resistance fleet. Destroy The Raddus and you can easily pick a part The Resistance easily. Instead of doing the most intelligent thing, they chose to do the stupid thing.
The horrible bombing run. The bombers chosen for the Evacuation of D’Qar are a goddamn liability. MG-100 StarFortress SF-17 or The Resistance Heavy Bombers is just bad. It makes no sense. The Resistance has updated X-Wings, so why wouldn’t they have  Y-Wings, B-Wings, and A-Wings? They are more effective and less of a liability.  Y-Wings would have been way more effective than those new ships, which basically all just flew around until they were shot down one after the other and accomplished nothing. Like, only one of them even achieved what they set out to do... Pitiful. Y-Wings are fighter/bombers, they would have destroyed the Dreadnought with no casualties whatsoever. Y-Wings upgraded with new proton bombs would’ve got the job done, but that would’ve been overkill. They are the ships that beat the Malevolence and cut through the Ryloth blockade like butter, after all. They pack a punch with proper support, and they can at least outrun the explosives they drop. Before anyone tells me the Y-Wings, B-Wings and A-Wings are outdated technology hasn’t radically advanced in Star Wars for thousands of years. The Y-Wing is relatively young compared to most other ship designs. The A-Wing is conceptually older, being a derivative of the old Aethersprite Jedi Starfighter that was in use before the Clone Wars, just like how the X-Wing is a derivative of the ARC-170 and Z-95 Headhunter, and the B-Wing was probably inspired by the V-19 Torrent, and everyone knows the Star Destroyers haven’t changed at all for probably thousands of years. There’s no reason why it couldn’t have just been refined and improved upon like every other starship in the universe has been. If we go with the assumption that they were outdated and ineffective, then there were far better replacements than some slow bombers made of paper. For example, B-Wings, which were supposed to be their replacement in Return of the Jedi and were brand new at the time, and K-Wings, which were a replacement for both of them in Legends, both would’ve been very viable options. They also wouldn’t have broken the “small, fast, and maneuverable” tenet of the Rebel/Resistance design philosophy. Anyway, the Resistance still didn’t need any specialized bomber. All the Resistance needed to do was replicate what they did to Starkiller Base in the last movie. The dreadnought’s “point-defense” turrets aren’t fast enough to target one X-Wing (lol, what a stupid movie), so there’s no reason why a squadron of X-Wings can’t just bombard the weak spot with enough proton torpedoes until the dreadnought gives up. It’d probably just take one or two, as well. Instead, we got a glass cannon sent to destroy another glass cannon, with no trace of escorting ships or other noticeable strategy beyond “FIRE EVERYTHING!!!”    
The Treatment of Luke Skywalker. I will never forgive the treatment of Mark Hamill by Lucasfilm.  Luke ALWAYS saw the light within Anakin. Darth Vader was evil and committed atrocities for decades but he saved and redeemed his father. But he gave up on Ben because he saw Snoke’s influence on Ben and read his dark thoughts and instead of helping him like Luke would actually do and what Leia wanted Luke to do, he goes with the intention of killing him but stops with the shame. But the problem is that Ben saw him with his lightsaber, what he saw was Snoke’s whispers proven right that Luke was afraid of his power and wanted him dead. My problem is the movie made it seem like his family abandoned him and it's their fault for his fall and actions. Kylo Ren is completely responsible for his own actions. Ben Solo was a grown ass man when he fell to the dark side.Luke would never give up on his family. Luke Skywalker would never try to kill Ben, his nephew and his family. Darth Vader committed countless atrocities and Luke still saved his father and brought him back to the light. I will never believe that Luke would try to even ignite his lightsaber on Ben. Leia gave him her son to train, allow him to control his raw force abilities, love Ben like he were Luke’s own child and to protect him from Snoke. Even if Luke sensed the darkness in Ben, he would have talked to him and try to meditate and do anything that would help Ben. But no, instead of doing what Luke would actually do he ignites the lightsaber and it’s too late and Ben sees what Luke tried to do. Luke is ashamed and sorry, but it’s too late. What’s even worse is that Luke continue’s the old ways of the Jedi, instead of reforming the Jedi Order. In Legends, Luke reformed and made the Jedi better. But instead he continued the old ways and  just gave up. He is written to be  broken and hollowed out by his past mistakes and painfully out of character. TFA kept on insisting he left a map behind. Lor San Tekka has it and said Luke’s return would make everything right. Han and Leia said Luke left behind the map. In TFA script “It is Luke Skywalker. Older now, white hair, bearded. He looks at Rey. A kindness in his eyes, but there’s something tortured too. He doesn’t need to ask who she is, or what she is doing here. His look says it all. Hold on Luke Skywalker’s incredible face, amazed and conflicted what he sees, as our music builds, the promise of an adventure, just the beginning” Luke looked touched at seeing Rey in TFA and Rey was on the verge of tears, finally someone to help her with the belonging she seeks. In The Last Jedi, no tears and Luke just tosses away his father’s lightsaber like it’s nothing. We are not allowed to see Luke react to Han’s death or Luke to grieve that his best friend is dead. Han was a big influence and friend it was dismissed as if he barely knew him. To quote Mark Hamill on the matter “They had time for me to milk that big alien but to show any human emotion? Nah" He does not even care that his sister’s life and the Resistance she is leading is in danger. He does not train Rey. Again, he gave up on Ben instead of trying to save him. He is sorry and regrets it, but it is too late. You might say that Yoda and Obi-Wan also gave up. But for those two, the Sith took over the galaxy, they had to go into hiding to protect and guide Luke and Leia. Obi-Wan wanted to save Leia and guide Luke. Yoda always wanted to train Leia as a Jedi and bring Anakin back to the light. He was reluctant to train Luke but he still did his duty as a Jedi Master. They did not just give up and wanted to die and they did not betray their characters at all. Luke spends most of Last Jedi on a windswept island, brooding in solemn silence and frozen by indecision. He doesn’t connect with Rey on any meaningful level, doesn’t impart wisdom or knowledge, and never reasserts himself as the powerful Jedi he once was. A brief physical duel against Rey ends with her as the undisputed victor, completely killing his deserved mythos and her potential character arc in one fell swoop. It’s clear in that moment that he has nothing to teach her, and nothing to contribute to the overall narrative. The boundless potential that seemed poised to explode at the end of The Force Awakens fizzles here but never ignites.  And without any training at all, Rey defeats Luke Skywalker and Luke acts all cowardly and begs her to leave. When he goes to Crait. He does buy time for the Resistance to escape, but he is not allowed to display his power, he’s not allowed to wield his green lightsaber, he does not bring down all the AT-ATs, the transports, shuttles or bring down the star destroyers in orbit. He’s not even there thus making the goodbye with Leia and  final confrontation with Kylo Ren ultimately pointless.  He toys with Kylo, but we don’t see a lightsaber fight between them. Luke Skywalker is not allowed to be Luke Skywalker. The Hero’s Journey that he was following was ignored completely and he just gave up and wanted to die. And he dies instead of reuniting with Leia properly. Mark Hamill wanted Luke to live until Episode IX where he would pass on what he learned to Rey. No big battle with Snoke, no passing on, instead Luke dies and all we’re getting is force ghost Luke. Luke Skywalker was a hero to an entire generation.  Luke was the true heart of Star Wars. His was the journey we followed from idealistic farm boy dreaming of adventure, to reluctant warrior, and finally to savior of the entire galaxy. The original trilogy built him up, and The Last Jedi finally broke him down. I for one mourn my hero’s passing.
Leia’s knocked out for half the movie. Leia is taken out 90% of the movie and it doesn’t feel like Carrie’s swan song and TLJ does absolutely nothing with Leia. Carrie Fisher is gone. The character herself does nothing to affect the plot. We all knew that Leia was strong and powerful with the force, but the way they decided to have it be shown is baffling. Instead of showing Leia using  the force to send the missiles flying at Kylo’s wing men or use Battle Meditation to inspire the Resistance to fight, instead we see the most impressive, and stupid looking, display of force powers, nothing follows from that. Leia goes into a coma for most the movie and then just hangs around. Isn’t it weird that Leia, one of the most important characters in the entire franchise only sees her brother for a moment, never mentions her husband, shares no screen time with her own son and isn’t even the focus in the very rebellion she’s been fighting for her entire life. In the end, all of her loved ones are dead, her son is wants to destroy her legacy, her allies abandoned her, her soldiers were almost all killed, and due to Carrie Fisher’s passing, TLJ is her swan song and curtain call. The most iconic and empowering woman in all of cinema gets to go out as a supporting character and Mary Poppins meme.  
The treatment of Chewbacca. This movie failed Chewbacca. Chewie is not allowed to mourn the death of his decades-long companion to whom he owed a life debt nor is he allowed a moment of forgiveness and reconciliation with Luke. Nor is he given a scene mourning the deaths of Han and Luke with Leia. What does Chewie get? Barely any screen time, Rey has to translate Chewie to Luke WHEN LUKE KNOWS HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH CHEWIE and instead of just letting him eat in peace, he is made to feel guilty of his predator nature and is used as a bad “eating animals is bad” message. He doesn’t even try to talk Rey out of her dumbass plan and is used as a matchmaker tool for her and Finn. His biggest moment is a fucking comic relief scene with Porgs. In this new trilogy they don’t treat Chewie like a person. I was pretty appalled in TFA too, when Chewie and General Organa literally ignore each other, walk past each other without so much as a glance and then Rey gets a hug? Chewie was Han Solo’s companion and best friend for at least a half-century, stuck with him when Han and Leia broke up, and he’s not even allowed to mourn onscreen? Chewie and Leia don’t even interact during the end of TLJ at all. Chewie is not allowed to mourn for any of his best friends at all nor is he allowed to try and talk Rey out of her obvious dangerous plan by going to the man WHO KILLED HIS BEST FRIEND, in what way would Chewie even be okay with that? This is a day later, a single day and the wounds are still fresh. And he is mainly used as comic relief and is not used as a character and hero of the rebellion nor is he allowed to grieve. Chewbacca deserved so much better.
The lack of respect for Admiral Ackbar. The fans hated it and the puppeteer Tim Rose and actor Jamie Stangroom hated it. “So in The Last Jedi, I was quite looking forward to maybe them giving him something more juicy,” Rose said. “We were only given the script on the day when we were shooting that piece of script, so each day I would come to work going, ‘Is today the day when Ackbar gets something a bit more involving?’ And I looked at my script and I went, ‘Oh, Ackbar’s going out of the window. Well, that’s that then!’ I wasn’t quite dead yet.” “We finished all of our bits and they asked me to come down to camera. And I thought, ‘Oh well, maybe they’re going to say thank you for being one of the heritage characters and giving 30 years and all that.’ But what they did was, they gave me a Millennium Falcon sign that had the day and the date on it, the scene number, and they said, ‘Can you look at camera and say ‘It’s a wrap?’ Because that would be really funny.’ “I was actually in tears in the suit because I thought – after everything, after hoping there’d be something, after knowing there wasn’t going to be anything else, Ackbar’s final moment before he went in to the box was a big joke about ‘It’s a wrap.’ They just thought ‘Wouldn’t it be funny?’ And that was the sum total of my life as Ackbar.” Once again, absolutely no respect for the legacy characters, Rian Johnson doesn’t give a damn about the characters from the Original Trilogy. Ackbar was crucial to the Rebel Alliance, he is an iconic character and is given an off screen death and the actor is made to give a tasteless joke. Fucking garbage.
No emotional scene of Leia and Chewbacca. Leia lost her love and her brother. Chewie lost his two best friends. We don’t get to see the two of them grieve and comfort each other. It’s in the novel, but not in the movie. This is one of the moments where showing is better than telling. 
The Death of Paige Tico.  if you are a casual fan and have no knowledge of who these new characters are in TLJ, then you would have no idea who Paige is and why Rose is crying until you see their twin pendants. And the way they went about her death was just bad. The bombers they chose to have were so slow and clunky that it’s laughable. Why don’t they have Y-Wings? The Resistance has weapons and ships from The Rebel Alliance and you’re telling me there are no Y-Wings? More onto Paige.  Killing Paige without establishing who she is or why she is important to Rose is just god awful. You establish characters and connections they might have before killing them or it’ll lose all the impact. What could have been done after destroying the Star Destroyer. Paige escapes and rejoins the fleet. We get a touching scene of Rose and Paige reuniting. We also get to see Paige mourn for the losses of her squad members. We see a love/hate relationship with Poe, but eventually Paige trusts Poe and sees him as a leader. While Finn and Rose go to Canto Bight, Paige and Poe work together on the Raddus. And if Paige has to die, then show her sacrifice herself to stop the canon. There you go, we have a tragic death that is just as emotional and you get to see why she is important and instead of being killed off so early we get to know her and her relationship with Rose and her death is not wasted potential. The worst part about Paige’s death is that Ngô Thanh Vân has no speaking lines and we never get to see Rose and Paige’s sisterly dynamic and a WOC with no speaking lines was fridged.
Rey has no character arc.  Rey doesn’t learn anything and I don’t feel like she has a character arc or journey. She starts her journey in TFA and I was excited to learn where her character would go. And TLJ does nothing with Rey.  I do love Rey, but I don’t feel like it truly tests Rey and forces her to grow as a character. Rey is intriguing and we care for her, but her journey feels non existent.  Luke and Anakin had struggles and journeys.  I just don’t feel it from Rey. I am really disappointed with how TLJ handles Rey. Rey doesn’t have any struggles. Rey is all powerful and she is the same character she is from TFA. Everything TFA was building her up was instantly ignored.  How Maz got the Skywalker lightsaber? Never mentioned again. How Rey was drawn to the Skywalker lightsaber and what the force vision was meant to mean? Never addressed. Rey says that she’s classified information, “none of your business” Then her parents are revealed as junk traitors who sold her for drinking money and died in Jakku. If her parents were just junkers, how did they afford that space ship if they spent the money on booze? Also the best theory I thought was gonna happen is that Rey has ties to the Empire or at the very least because of the novels it is stated that Palpatine had secret labs on Jakku and the Empire was invested in Jakku, hell it’s last stand WAS on Jakku. Rey herself told BB-8 she was classified information. All that build up for nothing. The force can come from anyone, we all feel it but you build Rey up only to do nothing with her. I’m not upset that Rey is a nobody, I’m just upset that what TFA was building up for Rey was dropped entirely.  My big issue with how TLJ handles Rey, is she does not learn anything. She was awakened by Kylo’s mind melding, but after that nothing. She doesn’t learn anything from Luke and she feels like the same character in The Force Awakens. We see Luke showing Rey to feel the force and the Jedi’s hubris. The third lesson was deleted, but we did not really get to see Luke train her as a Jedi. Rey doesn’t learn anything. In the end we see Rey has the sacred Jedi texts, but Yoda pointed out that those texts were holding back the Jedi and the Jedi Order needs to be reborn  So really, Rey does not learn anything.  
Finn is changed from one of the main protagonists to being a side character in his own trilogy.  Finn’s character arc from The Force Awakens was dropped completely in The Last Jedi. He does want Rey to be safe, but Finn just wants to run away, despite the fact that he learned to be courageous, face his fears and stay and fight at the end of TFA.  The First Order kidnapped Finn as a child, from his family(possibly killed his family) he was able to leave The First Order and resist the indoctrination. He no longer wanted to fight, he wanted to leave everything, he wanted Rey to come with him. When Rey was captured, Finn had something to fight for and when Kylo Ren pushed her. Finn finally stood up to his past and The First Order. He overcame his fear. So Finn should have been wanting to fight The First Order and become a big deal in The Resistance, we could have even seen Finn inspiring a Stormtrooper rebellion  against Phasma and The First Order. Finn just wanting to leave is just bad writing and backtracks his entire character arc from TFA.  Finn is the first Stormtrooper to show a real personality, child soldier, who risked his life to find his own freedom and save the known galaxy and ended up in a coma for it. Finn was meant to be a main character, instead he is a supporting character to Rose. Forced to be embarrassed and pointless.  He already learned about being brave and truthful. What happened about his past? His brothers and sisters? The family he’ll never know? Why does he share close to no scenes with Rey and Poe? Why does he get nothing to do?  Finn was the FO’s best Stormtrooper, one of the best, to the point where he was considered Captain material and because of this Finn would recognize the Hyperspace tracker. Finn also has an almost perfect photographic memory due to being able to memorize the layout of both Starkiller base and the Supremacy with extreme accuracy. Kylo Ren had been impressed with Finn‘s capabilities during their lightsaber duel on Starkiller to the point Kylo had to tap deeper into the dark side to beat Finn. Finn is one of the most compelling protagonists of the franchise, right along with Ahsoka and Luke, because while he is the most dangerous to both sides of the war due to his skills and knowledge, he actively tries to save lives instead of end them. Finn’s upbringing left no room for love. He was stolen away from his family before he could even make memories of them. He tried to dedicate himself to the the First Order, but couldn’t. Finn chose to leave the only life he had known because he couldn’t let even one innocent life be senselessly killed. Finn deserves to be known as one of the Sequel Trilogy’s main heroes and not shoved to the sides. Let’s talk about Finn in TLJ.  My problem for Finn in TLJ is that he is reduced to Rose’s sidekick and is made into a racist slapstick caricature. The first real problem for Finn. He is reduced to a slapstick joke in his very first scene. Finn awakens from his coma, slams his face and it is revealed that he isn’t even on the medical ship or even in the medbay on the Raddus...he is in the cargo hold and is made to be a joke. This is the Co-protagonist of the trilogy, and he’s reintroduced as a slapstick joke. Then once again he wants to runaway. I am getting a real racist vibe that Rian Johnson sees Finn as the cowardly black man troupe. That’s just downright disgusting. Moving on. Finn is paired with Rose Tico, honestly I want to like her, but bad writing prevents that. Finn is put with someone who abuses him and we are supposed to root for this and see it as romance? Let me explain. Finn is then tazed by Rose, which is understandable, she thought he was running away and she was in mourning. He also was objectively posing absolutely no threat to her, wasn’t running away, and was even trying to explain himself. Additionally, just the threat of the taser seemed to have been enough to stop him from leaving. But Rose attacked him anyways. The difference between Rey and Rose attacking Finn is Rey subdued Finn just enough to stop and interrogate him, Rose went completely overboard by paralyzing him and knocking him unconscious. It was completely unnecessary and gratuitous. Rey and Finn have a real friendship and partnership from the last movie. Rose, on the other hand, spends the rest of the movie belittling Finn and talking down to him. The book also says that she thought about using violence against him more than once after the tasing (for annoying her) and even pushed him. This displays a really problematic pattern of violence and disrespect towards Finn so yeah,  multiple uses of violence and expressed desire to inflict violence on him as being abusive. I would argue that she is undeniably verbally abusive with Finn. In the movie and in the book (more so in the book) she often belittles him by calling him names and using other put downs. It seems she wants to make him feel bad about himself and bring him down, which is abusive. Of course, it doesn’t really matter what her intent is, even if she doesn’t “mean to be mean” it still counts as verbal abuse. So, in summary, her repeated threats and use of violence against Finn and her continual use of insults and put downs causes me to come to the conclusion that she is abusive to Finn. Then Finn is made to fail. The only time he is allowed to be portrayed has the protagonist is him facing his abuser and taking him down. My only problem is they cut out Phasma’s better death scene. Finn reveals Phasma shut down the shields for Starkiller Base, and that gets the Stormtroopers to turn on Phasma. This is what I would hope starts a Stormtrooper Rebellion. Finn’s defection was withheld information by Hux and Phasma in fear of a full on rebellion. Humanizing Stormtroopers and having one become a hero is kind of genius, but the way they did it in Episode 7 made it seem like Finn was the ONLY good Stormtrooper, which has to be an impossibility. If one Stormtrooper can suddenly switch sides, what's to say that others couldn't? And since Episode IX will most likely see the fall of the First Order, I personally think that Finn should convince all (or most of) the Stormtroopers to turn against Kylo and Hux, leading to a cool final scene where the First Order is ultimately destroyed by their own henchmen, children who were abducted and indoctrinated take back their narrative. That would be cooler and more unique, I think, than another Resistance vs. First Order space shootout, or Rey and her possible Jedi apprentice army taking them down. The most insulting part of the movie is the last part. Finn’s suicide run. Finn was the best Stormtrooper and knows about The First Order’s weapons, he should know full well that speeder would be destroyed trying to destroy the mini death star. Finn’s attempted sacrifice was pointless, Finn was treated like garbage throughout the movie, he deserved better.
The lack of empathy and care for Finn in TLJ. He is constantly belittled and mocked throughout the movie. In The Force Awakens, Finn fights Kylo Ren. He does well, but is ultimately defeated.  He is slashed in the shoulder and the spine by Kylo Ren and falls into the snow, unconscious. Now if this were in the first 6 movies, Finn would be dead or would be paralyzed. But because it’s a Disney movie, Finn heals up. Rey continues the fight and slashes Ren across the face, leaving him with a gash. The characters all escape, but Finn has to be carried to a medical station, unconscious until TLJ. Kylo Ren seems fine, ultimately jumping in a TIE fighter to try and kill his mom before getting patched up further.  Finn, again, has to wake up before doing anything. Here’s the difference between Finn and Kylo’s injuries.  Finn awakens in a medical bed wearing a bacta suit.  His first instinct is to call out for Rey. As he jolts up, he slams his head against the medical container.  He slams against it again. Regaining awareness, he opens up the medical container to find himself alone in a cargo room.  He falls out of the bed, spraying medical fluids all over the place.  He trudges down the hallway until Poe and BB-8 find him. His injuries are never mentioned, shown, or even referenced again.  Kylo, on the other hand, is asked by Snoke how his wound is, to which he responds “it’s nothing.”  He then takes that ridiculous thing off, complete with a close-up of a sad kylo Ren face, with his sutures  framed to draw attention to them. This happens again in the elevator.  Then we get a scene of him getting patched up soberly by a medical droid.  Then we get a shirtless scene as a final showcase of his other two scars.  Throughout the film, Kylo’s scars are present and framed as a constant reminder that he went through pain.  Finn’s injuries are used as a joke once and promptly forgotten, and let’s not pretend that these injuries are  one-to-one aside from how they’re framed.  Remember Finn received injuries trying to protect Rey, while Kylo received injuries trying to murder Rey. Finn received a deep wound across his spine, which can often be fatal in the real world.  Kylo received a gash across his face.  Finn’s injuries were worse and nobly gained. Kylo’s injuries were comparatively tame and well deserved.  Yet the movie uses Finn’s pain as a joke, and Kylo’s pain as a humanizing factor. That Rey, as well as the director, cinematographer, and a considerable portion of the audience sees a scar and is willing to find sympathy with the person, no matter what they have done, is pretty reprehensible. Not only is Kylo Ren’s scar not enough to be considerably a change to his appearance, as Rian Johnson specifically modified the location of his scar because, “it looked goofy,” the scar is not the mark of an accident or from an assault, but rather from a failed assault on his part. Also, I could get into how messed up it is that scars that don’t fit Rian Johnson’s preferred model are considered goofy. Is a scar that isn’t kept to one side of the face not worth showing? Is a person with a scar you don’t personally like somehow less able to be taken seriously? By treating Kylo’s minor wounds as a big, life-changing deal, and treating Finn’s life-threatening wounds as a trivial matter of no more consequence than a joke, The Last Jedi reinforces century-old stereotypes about Black people. Specifically, it implies that Black people are somehow less affected by pain, have higher pain tolerances, or cannot be physically damaged the way White people can. This is a demonstrated, dangerous trend, where white people actually perceive Black people as experiencing less pain than White people under the same situations. Older textbooks, including some used as recently as late 2017, suggest Black people over-report the pain that they are experiencing. Doctors have declined to give painkillers to Black patients expressing the same level of discomfort that would grant a White patients the same painkillers, and some surgeons even believe that less anesthesia is needed for operations on Black people. This, of course, goes beyond the medical field, where Black people are not believed when they speak about suffering, and are expected to take more physical abuse than their White counterparts. However as the injuries are framed in a medical setting in this movie, I wanted to primarily address the medical bias as in the real world. This has been referred to as an empathy gap. When two people are hurt, with everything except the skin colour being the same, and White people feel worse for the hurt White person, there is a gap in empathy. Now, when the conditions are not the same, and the White person deserves to be hurt, and is hurt much less, and is still empathized with more, and the White man’s acts of attempted murder are framed as romance, while the Black man’s friendship is framed as harassment. Let’s also talk about Finn’s treatment. He’s placed alone in a room filled with cargo, without any monitoring.  It’s almost like the medical staff doesn’t even deem his injury serious enough to receive attention.  He’s not on the medical ship, which we know they have.  He’s not even in the Raddus’s Medical Bay, which, again, we know they have. Finn is isolated, left unattended,  injures himself, and stumbles out into the hallway without any assistance. All for a joke.  Finn’s injury should have been treated with respect and acknowledgement. A scene with the doctors examining his injuries, telling Finn he is medically clear to join The Resistance and Finn  sorrowed by his inability to help his friends, would have been light-years better than a scene where Kylo looks sad getting hurt while trying to kill people.
Poe was changed in between movies for no reason. Poe started out as the most levelheaded, compassionate and trusted soldier in the entire Resistance, so trusted that he was given the mission to find the map to Luke Skywalker and leading the strike force to destroy Starkiller Base, why is it that he is suddenly a hot headed fly boy who ignores orders and is getting no respect from his commanding officers? The character change for Poe Dameron was unnecessary and so out of place. Poe before TLJ would not be okay with sacrificing lives to stop one ship that can be easily replaced.  In all source material and the last movie he refused to let anyone die. Not even Finn, a man who was an enemy an hour before they met formally, even though Poe shot his squad mate before during the fight on Jakku. Everything about Poe’s portrayal in TLJ is so unnecessary.  Poe Dameron went from a caring and experienced rebel pilot to an arrogant, hotheaded latino stereotype in the span of like…a day. That’s not subversive writing, that’s racist and bad writing. I just don’t understand why no one even tells Poe the plan. Poe is a respected and highly trained, top ranking rebel fighter, who had been covert enough to execute a highly delicate and secret mission to retrieve the Map to Luke Skywalker, responsible for destroying Starkiller base and the biggest asset to the resistance and biggest threat to the first order, anything about the plan? He’s literally a war hero and is more than likely only second to Leia. And honestly? Holdo didn’t just leave Poe in the dark, she left the entire Resistance in the dark. When Holdo meets Poe, she then proceeds to dress Poe down just for asking for his orders and the plan. Keep in mind that Poe isn’t just some grunt. Even with his demotion, he’s your second or third in command, and he has the respect of the entire crew, as evidenced by his later leading a majority of the crew in mutiny against Holdo. Holdo brought her personal crew from her ship and worked with them while snubbing the main rebel crew entirely. That’s a bit of a dick move, protocol or not. One of the biggest issues was not that Holdo wasn’t telling Poe the plan, but it was acting as if there was really no other plan. She was literally taking personal jabs at him when he was trying to find something out. If she said something like. “While it seems bad , we are working on a plan right now. We are not just going to stay here and have everyone die. Just have your pilots ready to go at a moment’s notice” But she didn’t even give him that. Remember up until Poe taking over, they were watching ship after ship being picked off slowly. The crew was given nothing and was told just to trust her. Blind faith in leadership is a horrible message. If that is the take away then why not just do what the First Order or the Empire wants. I mean seemingly they are in charge of stuff now. And we should follow orders blindly. Moreover they were down to < 1000 people, and from the POV of everyone else she was just watching people die. Rank be jammed. Anyone who cared about their crew would do something. He was a Commander and the flight commander there is NO way he should have been left out in the cold. Then I like how they talk about his spunk over his knocked-out body. How Poe was treated in TLJ was absolutely atrocious and a complete insult to Oscar Isaac, Poe deserves better.
Poe was right and Holdo’s incompetence.  Poe was absolutely right. He was right on taking down the Dreadnought. He was right in sending Finn and Rose to find the codebreaker. He was right with the mutiny, but the film for some reason tries to paint Poe as a dumbed down trigger happy flyjockey.  big portion of the drama would have been saved if she just informed her now second in command her plan, hell she doesn’t even tell Connix who is the expert in evacuation. She disrespected pretty much everyone on the Raddus and surprised when Poe starts a mutiny?  This is why I believe that Poe did nothing wrong in The Last Jedi.   - While he lost a lot of lives, Poe was right in trying to bring down that Dreadnought. Poe’s reasoning for this run is that the Dreadnought is a “Fleet-killer”, and taking it out now could save hundreds, if not thousands of lives down the line. Yes, they lose all of their bombers and some of their fighters. Maybe 50-60 soldiers. However, the run is successful. The Dreadnought, which we see obliterate the surface of a planet with a single shot, is destroyed. - Poe was revealed to be completely justified with the attack at the beginning, that destroyer was the only First Order ship with orbital bombardment cannons that have longer range, punch through the toughest shields and shred the biggest ships. If he didn’t do that, it would’ve followed them through hyperspace and destroyed the Raddus pretty quickly. Leia probably realized this which is why she gave her blessing to Poe to “jump in a ship and blow stuff up” just before the attack by the Supremacy. - Poe didn’t disobey an order, he had convinced Leia of the plan. She was always in command, the call was always hers, and she decided to go through with it. However, when the consequences of the run are made apparent, she blames Poe instead of taking responsibility for her own call. - The Resistance drops out of hyperspace and is followed by the First Order. Poe’s concerns are entirely vindicated, and I think it’s hard to deny that the following engagement would have gone far, far worse for the rebels had the Dreadnought still been in play. Even assuming they survived that, what were they going to do once they got down to the salt planet? We saw this thing kill a planet earlier in the film. - The only reason the rebels ultimately survive is because of this bombing run. This is never acknowledged, however, and Vice Admiral Holdo takes command and proceeds to dress Poe down just for asking for his orders and the plan. Keep in mind that Poe isn’t just some grunt. Even with his demotion, he’s your second or third in command, and he has the respect of the entire crew, as evidenced by his later leading a majority of the crew in mutiny against Holdo. - Finn and Rose come up with a plan to stop the Hyperspace Tracking. He knows The Supremacy will continue to track the Raddus no matter what,  at this point Poe doesn’t really see any other alternative besides just possibly letting everybody die at the hands of an incompetent commander. It’s the only plan he’s been given, so he goes for it. -Holdo brought her personal crew from her ship and worked with them while snubbing the main rebel crew entirely. That’s a bit of a dick move, protocol or not. Continuing on Holdo.  In Bloodline, Holdo doesn’t stand up for Leia when Leia presents evidence that the First Order is a real threat. Why would Holdo have a ranking position in the Resistance when she didn’t think there was a need for it? -Connix assisted in Poe’s mutiny and she is  the “ultimate authority” on carrying out a retreat. Why was she not told about the plan? Her position and placement on the bridge next to Holdo is pretty “need to know”. -One of the biggest issues was not that Holdo wasn’t telling Poe the plan, but it was acting as if there was really no other plan. She was literally taking personal jabs at him when he was trying to find something out. If she said something like. “While it seems bad , we are working on a plan right now. We are not just going to stay here and have everyone die. Just have your pilots ready to go at a moment’s notice” But she didn’t even give him that. Remember up until Poe taking over, they were watching ship after ship being picked off slowly. The crew was given nothing and was told just to trust her. Blind faith in leadership is a horrible message. If that is the take away then why not just do what the First Order or the Empire wants. I mean seemingly they are in charge of stuff now. And we should follow orders blindly. Moreover they were down to < 1000 people, and from the POV of everyone else she was just watching people die. Rank be jammed. Anyone who cared about their crew would do something. He was a Commander and the flight commander there is NO way he should have been left out in the cold. Then I like how they talk about his spunk over his knocked-out body. -When Poe finally mutinies with a large portion of the crew, Leia stuns him and it’s revealed that the plan was to empty their fuel reserves and send the escape pods to a nearby salt planet. However, when the plan goes into action, Finn and Rose’s contact betrays them and tells the First Order about the escape pods. This results in many of the escape pods being destroyed.This is played up to be Poe’s failure, but I disagree immensely. It’s Holdo’s failure.She had literally no reason not to tell anyone the plan. Poe, while his plan ultimately failed, had no reason to believe that Holdo wasn’t going to get them all killed. Nor did the crew. She’d given neither of them any indication that she was a competent commander, or that she had anything resembling a plan. In the face of that, Poe had the choice of either possibly letting everyone die, or trying something that, while it probably wouldn’t work, might just save the lives of everyone on that ship. In the context of the situation, I think Poe absolutely made the right choice, and any blame for what happened falls firmly on Holdo’s shoulders for being an incompetent leader who never inspired her crew or gave them any reason to believe in her, and yet expected them all to trust her with their lives and just believe that she was making the right decisions. -Holdo’s plan was stupid. Based on the First Order not having any WINDOWS. And based on being unwilling to admit she HAD no plan, and WAS in fact just trying to bail everyone out and see how many, if any, survived. She didn’t ram the Supremacy until almost every escape pod had been destroyed. HOLDO caused the deaths of far, far more Resistance personnel and soldiers than Poe ever did. HOLDO let her vanity and vainglory get in the way of effective leadership – if the people ON THE BRIDGE, FUELING YOUR TRANSPORTS, are helping to organize a mutiny against you because your plan is bad and going to get them killed, that’s a bad plan.  Holdo’s entire action was based on wanting Leia to be proud of her, and not Poe, honestly. And granted: that’s a perspective we know that Poe can have, too, but what Poe wants more than anything else is to make sure the Resistance survives and the First Order is brought down without a chance of restarting the way the Empire did. Holdo mainly seems to want to be in charge and restart the New Republic that failed to stop the Empire’s roots to grow into the First Order in the first place, and she was unwilling to ACT against the First Order until what, twelve Rebels were left?  She could have saved all of those unarmed, unshielded escape pods if she’d rammed the Supremacy as soon as the last pod detached from the cruiser. But she didn’t, because she never planned to take any actual actions to stop the First Order. Holdo’s idea of resistance was so passive, so laissez-faire, that she might as well have been a First Order mole for all the good she did. The difference between “the fire that will restore the Republic” and “the fire that will burn the First Order down” is immeasurable. Holdo – quintessentially in a White Feminist move – wanted to “rebel” only as far as it restored her own place of power in the Galaxy as a Senator in the broken New Republic that ignored the growing threat of fascism until the NR itself was destroyed. (This New Republic she wants to restore being the same one that allowed slavery to flourish “in secret” across the Galaxy, allowed for poverty like that on Jakku, allowed for the immoral disparity of wealth and power on Cantonica). In the novel Leia Princess Of Alderaan, Holdo’s “rebellion” doesn’t actually exist – she cares about people, specifically her own friends and the people for whom she is the Junior Senator, on Gatalenta. Holdo doesn’t really care about the good of the Galaxy. She cares about herself. Poe doesn’t care about restoring the New Republic. The New Republic is who looked him in the face and said that deaths caused by the First Order didn’t matter – or didn’t exist. They were corrupt and complacent, and they refused to acknowledge that the ideals of the Empire had not actually died down. Their treatment of poor, disenfranchised Systems – those whom the Empire had most exploited, in some cases – caused those same Imperial ideals to take root again and blossom as an open secret. They allowed for the Centrists’ (literal) xenophobia to be communicated like a legitimate viewpoint, keeping some Imperial POVs mainstream when they could have been condemned. The New Republic did not deserve to be destroyed with Starkiller Base, but it also didn’t do enough good to warrant being restored as it was. Poe cares about ending the First Order. Holdo doesn’t.If Holdo doesn’t care about preventing the tyranny of the First Order, then what exactly is she resisting…? Poe Dameron did absolutely nothing wrong in this movie, and he’s by far the most competent commander the rebels have at the moment.
The wasted potential of Rose Tico. Rose could’ve been so much more. I wanted to like her, Kelly Marie Tran did an amazing job, but bad writing held the character back. From the promos and info about Rose, I was excited. She wax this underdog Resistance mechanic who along with her bomber sister, was going to do her part in fighting the First Order, I thought she was a welcome addition to the Sequel Trio, the Lando for the Sequel Trio. What we got instead was just...bad. Instead of actually using her mechanic skills to help save The Resistance and keep The Raddus flying, we got a sideplot takes place away from the central story, on some random casino planet that’s message I could get from any grade school understanding of the world while calling the sole black man/use to be male lead a coward the whole film, forgetting he helped come up with the plan that destroyed the last movie’s super weapon then fought space Neo-Nazis. Then her trying to stop Finn’s sacrifice, and “that’s how we win, not by fighting what we hate, by saving what we love.” That makes no sense and ignores the entire narrative of Star Wars and heroism of the saga. Paige, her sister sacrificed herself to save The Resistance. Holdo sacrificed herself to save The Resistance. The Rogue One sacrificed themselves. Finn's entire arc in the movie was learning not to just think about running away with Rey and fight for a greater cause and when the time comes for Finn to prove that he's grown as a character, he can't? What was the point of Finn's arc in the movie? And let's talk about Poe. Shouldn't Poe be sacrificing himself? Poe has spent the entire film watching others die and give their lives and he's never backed down, so shouldn't Poe be in Finn's place? And if Rose stopped Finn who would save The Resistance? We saw after Rose stopped Finn, the bunker was blown up by the battering ram. Absolutely NO ONE knew that Luke was going to make his surprise entrance and save everyone. For all we knew, The First Order would've moved into the bunker and killed everyone and The Resistance. I actually personally love Kelly Marie Tran, I just think her character was wasted and really hope they truly use Rose to her full potential in Episode IX. I want Rose Tico to appreciate and value not only herself, but her skills as a mechanic. Maybe even develop some computer skills and be The Resistance’s hacker. It’s not unrealistic for the Resistance to have one. She could still think her skills aren’t useful considering most Wars have been won by soldiers and Jedi, not hackers but grow and learn that her skills as a mechanic and hacker are valued.
Kylo Ren is downgraded from his amazing character in the Force Awakens.  Everything about Kylo Ren in TFA is amazing. Kylo Ren was  a well-rounded antagonist that broke the clichés of most of modern villains. Kylo Ren was a complex and layered character who wasn’t glorified or idealized for his morally wrong actions, so powerful in both the force and with his lightsaber. A hint that the lost child was still in there, but still chose to kill his father to reject redemption and chose to be who he was by choice regardless of his positive upbringing. Kylo Ren is exactly the right villain to succeed Darth Vader in this new trilogy despite not being a Sith. Had Chewbacca not shot Kylo, I don’t think Rey or Finn would’ve made it out of Starkiller Base alive. My problems with Kylo in TLJ is he is downgraded to the great character he was in TFA in TLJ. In TFA there was already a moral ambiguity with his character, but it was subtle. It was made in your face that he was sympathetic in TLJ. An interesting antagonist/villain isn’t a mustache twirling generic character that does things for no reason. Villains are meant to be the antagonist. We are meant to disagree with their actions and understand the flaws in them, to have a villain/antagonist who not only acknowledges what they are doing is wrong, but feels guilt about it. This is something that is extremely difficult for a writer to convey believably. Most of the time a director/writer will go out of their way to make their antagonist/villain sympathetic at the cost of the overall story. They only want the audience to relate to the antagonist/villain so they only put emphasis on that character’s sympathetic traits and ignore their negative ones. Ben has to earn his redemption, he doesn’t need it to given on a silver platter. His whole personality changed. While Han’s death would be enough, it just doesn’t work. In TFA his goal was finding and killing Luke Skywalker. In this movie I just don’t even know what his end game or motivation is. He went from this powerful dark side warrior and in TLJ he was downgraded and made weaker. And of course he is made into a meme cause of the shirtless scene. His bond with Rey was really the only good thing about his character arc in TLJ. The problem is everyone just assumes that this leads to redemption and Kylo turning back into Ben Solo, it was manipulation. And my issue is with how Kylo doesn’t explain why he killed Han. He doesn’t explain to Rey that he killed Han because he felt like he was being torn apart by the light and dark sides of the force and he thought killing Han would help him, but all it did was make it worse. It’s not explained that Snoke has been preying on Kylo ever since he was a child(though Kylo is responsible for his actions. There is no scene with Kylo and his mother. They never once interact.  The sad thing is they will never get to interact because of Carrie’s  passing.  At the end of TFA Snoke said he was going to finish Kylo Ren’s training but no training is given to him. It doesn’t add up that Snoke does not train Kylo. Snoke said that he would complete Kylo’s training when he told Hux to bring Kylo Ren to him at the end of TFA. Yes, he did fail him and he sensed his father in him, but I really thought we’d see Snoke sending Kylo to Vader’s castle on Mustafar to allow the dark side energies in the castle and what remains of Vader to strengthen the dark side within him to snuff out the light. Killing Han broke his spirit, but he could use the castle to complete Kylo Ren’s training. Then we would see Snoke personally train Kylo himself. Snoke begins by telling Kylo the Sith code ” Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.” teaching him the ways of the dark side, using torture and force lightning to draw Kylo’s rage to bring out his full potential in the dark side of the force. We needed to see Sith training. We never once got to see it, so we needed to see it with Snoke and Kylo Ren. The throne room fight is just bad. Not even  once do we see them displaying their powers is what cheapens the fight. Kylo Ren is powerful enough to freeze a blaster and a person in place and Rey herself unlocked Kylo’s powers, so the two of them could have easily ended the fight sooner than it was dragged out. Kylo is powerful in the force but he SERIOUSLY could not stop a Praetorian Guard choke holding him and Rey struggled with a guard? Rey and Kylo were stronger in TFA and are just made weaker in the duel with the Praetorian Guards. Kylo could have frozen half of the guards and Rey could have mind tricked the other half into killing the frozen guards and Kylo and Rey could have finished them. They are masters of light and darkness, but they are made weaker. As for their final scene together. Kylo’s proposal works because he’s a manipulative asshole. Kylo Ren doesn’t even have a clear motivation. He wants to kill Luke because he thought he wanted to kill him. There’s no reason why he killed the other Jedi, there’s no reason why he joined The First Order,  What did he hope to accomplish by joining the First Order? It’s never even explained why he has Vader’s mask. He never explains why he killed Han or why he even wants to destroy The Resistance. He says “let the past die” yet continues to  lead the First Order in the same direction that Snoke did. Snoke wanted the Resistance dead, so why take up his mission? He spent the duration of the movie as the most calm and collected and even most Jedi like character throughout the movie, but by the end he turns into  a screaming lunatic again by the end. There is no motivation for why Kylo Ren is doing anything. He acts how the plot needs him to act and that’s it. Vader wanted to crush the Rebellion and turn Luke to the dark side. With Kylo Ren I just don’t understand, turn Rey and start a new order? He knows full well Rey doesn’t want anything to do with that, if that’s his plan, it’s a bad one.  And if he doesn’t have one it hurts him as a villain. it’s not like he’s Michael Myers or The Joker where it works for them. But with Kylo Ren it just hurts him and the story and hurts the potential of The First Order. There is no motivation or a clear endgame for Kylo Ren or anyone in The First Order, if Kylo is to be redeemed, that hurts his entire narrative, that just makes his path as a villain bad since he has no motivation or endgame. and that just hurts Kylo Ren as a character.
Supreme Leader Snoke is wasted and there is no reason to care now that the villain you’ve been building your trilogy around is dead. Snoke’s death was too soon. Snoke is a dark side user. Calm and collected. Old enough to see the rise and fall of the empire. He takes no risks and does what it takes to win. He was different from Palpatine and I dare say he even had potential to rival Kreia. He was a mastermind and did not allow himself to be a slave to the dark side. He did not want his apprentice to die like the Sith masters of old. He did not want to keep power until his dying breath. Snoke was not the average Sith Lord, he was different.  He was respectful, he was very powerful, and watching his scenes, even when faced with failure, he remained calm and collected because he was playing the long game and was not a slave to the Darkside like the Sith. He was invested in turning Kylo Ren into Vader’s heir and even has a ring from the catacombs of Vader’s castle. Snoke was so interesting, so many unanswered questions and this well thought out villain. And then TLJ turned him into a dumbed down Palpatine rip off. The claim that Snoke and his backstory is not important is dumb, considering that we know nothing on why this war is even happening or even why The First Order is doing ANYTHING! We want to know who Snoke is because we want to know how this random evil guy was able to destroy the lives of the entire original trio, corrupted Ben Solo and override the happy ending the entire original trilogy and prequels were fighting for. The struggles of the prequels, the clone wars, rebels, original trilogy, all of these stories and struggles were undone because of Snoke, so of course we have questions. Why do the remnants of the Empire follow Snoke and where did he come from? Not wanting to know the motivation of the villains is just plain ignorant. They completely wasted Snoke. Snoke is a power from the unknown regions. He was SO powerful that Palpatine sensed him, Palpatine was so focused and invested in Jakku in hopes of getting closer to the Unknown regions and he wanted to meet what he believed was the source of the dark side of the force. And they just kill him off so easy? Now there is no reason to care. Kylo Ren is not an intimidating villain and it’s pretty obvious he’s turning to the light in Episode IX. Hux is a bumbling incompetent fool and I’m pretty sure they already confirmed he will be more comedic in Episode IX instead of being a threat. There is a villain problem for the Sequel Trilogy. There is no menace in The First Order anymore and I really feel there is no reason to care. The only possible way The First Order will be an actual threat to the Galaxy is if Rae Sloane usurps Kylo Ren. Problem is, that would actually make the First Order a legitimate threat, and Disney could never allow that.  
Tallie Lintra’s death. I did not know much about the new character, hell I didn’t even know her name until I played Battlefront II. But I loved this pilot. I loved how good she was and I wanted more of her and god killing her off was pointless. What’s the point of introducing these unique Resistance fighters if only to kill them off? 
No Lando Calrissian in The Last Jedi. I read Rian Johnson’s reason for no Lando Calrissian that he would’ve taken DJ’s place. But Johnson wanted the plan to fail….for reasons. Like god forbid they make it all worth it by having the plan succeed and they get captured when they get to the escape pods. Here’s how I would have put Lando in The Last Jedi. Lando is the person Finn and Rose are meant to get help from. They leave with DJ, but Lando was expecting to meet two members from the Resistance, so he leaves Canto Bight and on his way out he gets Leia’s message and mobilizes old friends from the Rebellion(a cameo from Wedge Antilles) and goes to give the Resistance some reinforcements. We then see a little reunion with Lando, Leia and Chewbacca and Lando revealing that he was who Finn and Rose were meant to meet. That’s how I would have included Lando in The Last Jedi. 
Phasma was wasted in The Force Awakens and she was completely wasted in The Last Jedi. While I love that we got to see Phasma and Finn fight, again they did not do anything with Phasma. In her novel she is a completely different and better character. In the novel  which is a fascinating study of how utterly ruthless and selfish she is, how completely dedicated to her own survival at the expense of others, and how there is no one and nothing she would not betray to further herself. It’s about peeling back the layers of a seemingly perfect First Order warrior to show her morally empty core, and with it the rottenness of the First Order itself. The novel shows with unsettling clarity that, under all the pretty words about the ideals of justice and order, the First Order is a place where actual idealistic soldiers are used and then thrown away (see: Finn, Cardinal) while backstabbers, abusers, and murderers like the two Huxes and Phasma are actively shielded and rise to the top. Phasma is a survivor. She will always align herself with the most powerful force. Phasma is extremely intelligent and a brilliant battlefield commander. Outside of the movies, she’s lost approximately one fight. Ever. the movies portray her as a minor annoyance but in the book she is the most badass human to ever live and I’m upset with how they’ve treated her. But really, what would’ve helped Phasma is her deleted death scene
youtube
General Hux, the man who caused the destruction of the Hosnian system and is shown to be a younger angrier version of Tarkin in TFA, is shown to be an incompetent bumbling fool and Captain Canady is the only intelligent officer in The First Order. He does not deploy the Tie Fighters, order the fleet to move in when The Resistance are evacuating D'Qar and vulnerable, instead orders the Dreadnought to move in, and instead of ordering the Dreadnought with it’s devastating canon to fire on the cruiser thus giving the transports nowhere to go, he orders an orbital bombardment to an almost empty planet. But does not fire because he sees Poe’s X-Wing When Poe arrives in his X-Wing, the only X-Wing in view. Hux does not order deploying the Tie Fighters or even ordering the Dreadnought to fire on Poe. They do absolutely NOTHING. How is Hux a general again? Did he just want to hear himself talk? The turrets are being destroyed by Poe and Hux tells Captain Canady to fire the Dreadnought, Canady responds it’s too small and too close of range to fire their turbolasers and orders the Tie Fighters to be scrambled which should have been done 5 minutes ago. Canady knows Poe is not aiming to penetrate their armor, he knows Poe is clearing out their surface cannons. Here we have it. The only intelligent officer in The First Order, everyone else including Hux are incompetent. How exactly is Hux a general again?  Moving on. Hux is slapped around with the force by Snoke, okay understandable, it’s for failure. Vader did the same. But god it is done in almost every scene by Snoke and Kylo. When the Silencer pretty much destroyed all the X-Wing fighters, and The Resistance command is jettisoned in space, Hux just orders Kylo back. They have the opportunity to end The Resistance, just calls him back, a scene later Hux complains he let them go. Sure they can still track them, but the fact that they let them goes shows that Hux is a fool. The only time Hux is allowed to be villainous in the movie is when he is prepared to take out his blaster and kill Kylo Ren. Everything else he is either an idiot or someone’s toy to be slapped around. And you expect me and the general audience to believe Hux is going to be the villain in Episode IX?
The First Order’s incompetence at the Battle Of Crait. So now the Resistance is stuck on Crait, the First Order knows they are there, we know implicitly that the First Order has more than one dreadnought in their fleet, we also know the Resistance is fresh out of bombers. Maybe instead of calling for a costly ground invasion just call in another dreadnought and finish the job once and for all. This isn’t next level thinking, this isn’t superior tactics. This is using a rock to smash a bug levels of thinking. But they don’t, they land a ground invasion bigger than Hoth and bring a mini Death Star with them. Note again, that while Hoth was defended by more men with better equipment, Crait is defended by a quarter as many with rusting, dilapidated equipment… but it was enough to keep the Order stalled for Luke Skywalker to video-conference in.
The ending. The way they did end the last jedi, it leaves nothing to show that there is a reason to see Episode IX. There is no cliffhanger or showing anything of a Struggle. AOTC ended with the beginning of the Clone Wars. Empire ended with Luke learning the truth and Han was taken to Jabba. Last Jedi ends like the end of the trilogy. The Rebellion is saved and shows it can fight the First Order. It doesn’t feel like there is anything that can be done to make us feel like there is a reason to watch the next movie as it feels like everything was resolved. Doesn’t feel like there is anything to be fighting for or a reason to care.
13 notes · View notes
yoramkelmer · 4 years
Text
Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 3: New Friends
Welcome back. When we last left off, we meet Roz again, the Scary Sue from the last fic. 
Emily's stomach lurched at the very sound of Roz's name. In this case, I actually can´t blame her. Jamie and Emily had known Rosalind for a number of years because both families vacationed yearly at Cap d'Adge. Why are we told this again, since we already know it? In this case, knowing and liking had absolutely no correlation.
No shit, Sherlock!  Roz had detested Jamie from day one and did everything in her power to aggravate and humiliate the girl whenever possible. We are never told why Roz hates Jamie so much, but it seems that she only hates her because of how Pure Jamie Sue is, as clicheed as that may sound. In the last few years, she had even tried getting at Jamie through Emily. Last year, she had tricked Emily into a bet that was both sickening and demeaning. Every time Emily thought of what she had nearly had to do to Roz, she had the urge to heave.
Why is it never brought up that Roz actually wanted to molest Emily? Not to mention that when Roz actually tried to molest her in front of her sisters, Jamie actually did something understandable in that situation - kicking Roz´s face in! But because Jamie is such a Pure Sue, she was so horrified that she did something like that and while Roz was passed out, they had her healed. 
I hate this fic.  Although totally impossible in the din, Roz's head turned toward the group, as if hearing Felicite bring up her name. "Oh shit!" Emily cursed. "She's coming our direction." "Who?" Caitlin and Kim voiced in harmony.
HARMONY HARMONY OHHH LOOOOOOVE 
Tumblr media
"Rosalind," Emily said, virtually gagging on the name. Although Kim had never met Roz, the stories she had heard from Emily and Caitlin made her extremely anxious.
I´m actually glad we didn´t have any scenes of Caitlin and Emily telling Kim stories of Roz, that would have been even more pointless filler.  "What's going on here?" Roz said as she swaggered over to the group. "Is this a meeting of the hopeless losers club?" She gave Kim a turned-up-nose glance. "Still picking up new members I see."
Tumblr media
Roz shook her head in a self-aggrandizing -___- way. "Daddy said that this year's holiday would be better because we'd be away from all the riffraff, but I imagine the cruise line must allow all types on board or they'd be accused of bias."
As I said, I find it really hard to believe that basically everyone from Cap d´Agde just happens to be on the same cruise ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.  "I'm likewise happy to see you," Jamie said, trying her best to pay no attention to Roz's snide holier-than-thou attitude. Jamie should probably be the last person to complain about other peoples holier-than-thou attitude  "I believe you know everyone except Kim. She's a Sue, just like us! friend of the family." Roz gave Kim the sort of look usually reserved for rancid garbage well, she´s a Sue, so she is not far off! and then turned to a young girl, about Emily and Kim's age, that was shadowing her. "This is my niece Angel," Roz said, acting as if she were introducing royalty. "Angel, you don't even need to know their names," Roz said arrogantly. "Just take a good look at their faces and stay away from them; they're all Sues! not worth your time." Roz turned and walked away as Angel's face flushed. "I'm sorry," she said, sounding sincere. "I... I... I got to go." Angel turned and hurried after Roz. "Well, that was pleasant," Caitlin said acerbically I have never heard that word before, to Emily and Kim. Jamie had returned to her conversation in French SUE! SUE! SUE! with Chantal and Felicite, although now by their frequent glances in the direction of Roz, it was easy to speculate what they were talking about.
Tumblr media
"I actually felt sort of sorry for Angel," Kim said. "She didn't appear to be at all like Roz. It looked like she was humiliated by that whole encounter." "I agree," said Caitlin. "It's difficult to believe they are related. Not only do their personalities seem totally different, but also they don't look at all physically alike. I think we should bring her into our Cult! Angel is extremely pretty and Roz is..." Caitlin seemed lost for the proper word. "Roz is an unkempt hag," Emily suggested. "No, that's not being fair to hags in general."
Come to think of it, Roz is the only naturist in the whole Saga outrightly described as ugly, and she also happens to be eeeeevul. Hello, Unfortunate Implications!  "I always thought you were both exaggerating when you described her, but you weren't," Kim said. "She's as miserable and gross as you portrayed her. I can understand a girl or woman not wanting to go to the extreme of being smooth, but you'd think she'd at least trim. And her underarms... ugh!"
Isnt Naturism all about being natural, which bodily hair is supposed to be?
The discussion of Roz came to an abrupt halt when Emily noticed Designated Love Interest #3 Brian walking in their direction accompanied by two other boys; the girls, especially Kim, watched nervously as the boys approached. "Hi," Brian said shyly, upon reaching them. He was addressing them all, but his eyes seemed trained on Kim, who was clearly tense.
This is so forced.  The girls all responded with a muffled greeting. Emily was the first to break the ice. "I see you finally discarded your clothes and got with the program," Emily said, addressing Brian.
Does this all sound like something a 12-13 year old girl would say? "Yeah!" he said. "This is my preferred condition of dress. I've been a naturist my entire life. Unfortunately, coming from Pennsylvania, I don't get to practice it outdoors nearly as much as I'd like. This is Jeff and Mark's first time." He indicated his two friends. "They're only doing it so they can get to see a lot of naked women."
In this fic, it would not surprise me in the slightest.  "You are so full of it," Jeff retorted, and then turned to the girls. "Mark and I have been nudists since we were youngsters; we're fraternal twins. We met this liar on vacation about five years ago; been putting up with him every summer since."
I´m just gonna say this now, Brians two friends are the least of the people who are given any characterisation what so ever over the duration of the whole nudist cruise arc of the fic. They just happen to be there, and don´t contribute to anything.  "How long have you guys been at it?" Mark inquired. "I've been a naturist my entire life," Emily replied. "If I had my way, clothing would never touch my body."
WE ALL KNOW ALREADY  "You sound like a nudism activist," Mark answered back. "I just might be," Emily said, "once I reach the age where my actions won't affect those I care for. Caitlin's only been a nudist two years." "It looks like you and Caitlin get to spend a lot of time bare outdoors," Jeff commented. "You both have great all over tans without a trace of a tan line."
....................... Obviously Jeff had been observing Emily and Caitlin closely, but neither girl seemed the least embarrassed by his comment . It was Kim who blushed because she had very noticeable tan lines. You could see the precise outline of her bathing costume.
Oh, the Horror!  "How long have you been a naturist?" Brian asked, giving Kim a pleasing slasher smile. Kim gulped. She thought about lying, but lies always had a way of coming back to haunt her. Especially since the lie to the other Scary Sues in their dorm is what is making her miserable in the first place.  "I'm not a naturist," she said. "I'm nude lots of times with Kim and Caitlin where they live, but this is the first time I've ever been naked in public." Brian looked at Kim with astonishment. "Then you must be the gutsiest girl on earth," She actually isnt. he exclaimed. "I'd expect you to be scared to death, but you don't look the least ill at ease." "Looks can be deceiving," Kim said with an uneasy laugh.
Well, at least she´s honest!  "Well, one thing is for certain," Brian said truthfully. "You most certainly have nothing to be ashamed of; you're quite lovely." "Thank you," Kim replied, a bright glow covering her entire body. * * * * * *
Snip for a boring scene where Ron is being talked to by the woman from the couple who were ogling them in the previous chapter, and her name is Bonnie. 
We now come to the prelude to one of the dumbest and pervy scenes of the Saga:
"Have either of you ever been on a surfboard before?" Kim asked, looking at Emily and Caitlin. "I haven't," Caitlin said. "Truthfully, I prefer my swimming water in a nice clear pool." "I'm not that grand LOOK HOW BRITISH I AM a swimmer," Emily admitted. "I'd drown if I went out that far." Kim leaned the board back into its rack, dejectedly. "Are you girls going surfing?" Brian called out as he, Jeff and Mark came bounding toward them. "Just looking," Emily replied. "Kim is the only one with the guts and ability to try it." "Then this is her opportunity," Jeff said. "Brian is the main man when it comes to surfing. You'll take her out, won't you dude?"
Even if I didnt know what was coming in this scene, why does this sound so wrong?  "This is a good place to give it a try if you're interested," -___- Brian suggested. "The water is warm and the surf mild. You won't get any thrill rides, but you won't get knocked off the board either." "Why don't you try," Caitlin said encouragingly. "I'm sure the four of us can find something safe to do while Brian and you drown yourselves." "You won't drown," Brian said, reaching out and squeezing Kim's hand. This feels so wrong.... "I'll see to that." "Okay," Kim said giving Brian a smile. "But if I do die, I'm coming back to haunt you." "No chance," Brian said. "Only witches and wizards can become ghosts." UUUUUuuuuuuhhhh.....foreshadowing! He turned to the others. "We'll meet you guys in front of the Banana Beach Bar in about an hour." Kim looked over her shoulder apprehensively as Emily and Caitlin walked off with Jeff and Mark, leaving her alone with Brian. * * * * * * "You have quite a way with cats," Severus said as he watched Katie relate with Crookshanks and Alfred.
Yes, Snape is now starting yet another relation with another former student of his! Yaay Unfortunate Implications!  "They're not cats," Katie corrected Severus. "Crookshanks is part Kneazle and Alfred is a purebred. These guys are both very intelligent and can almost tell at an instant whether you are trustworthy or not."
Just remember:
Neil had by the start of the second fic totally forgotten about both Crookshanks and Alfred, because (in his own words) “they´re not nudists”.  "It's a shame we humans don't possess that ability," Severus commented. "Some do, although most don't realize it or use it to its full potential," Katie said. "Jamie Zacherley is a case in point. Hermione says the ability is strongly manifested in her, but she tends to block it, instead looking for the good redeeming values in people."
“See? She´s totally not a Mary Sue!”  "That sounds like Jamie," Severus said. "How do you think she'd do as a member of staff?" "Next year, just right out of school?" Katie questioned. "But I thought she had plans to go into training as an Auror."
I think this is the first time this is mentioned since the first fic.  "She does," Severus answered. "Unless she and Alex Ward do appalling on their N.E.W.T.s, I would expect them both to be accepted into the program." "I don't understand," Katie said. "If she isn't interested in teaching, why would you be considering her?" "Because Flitwick says she's the best qualified person to replace him when he retires next June." MARY SUE DETECTED BEEP BEEP BEEP Severus answered. "He claims that her abilities stand far above any other candidate we've considered for the position. Not only that, but she's already gained some valuable experience by subbing and has shown a strong aptitude for teaching."
She is one of the biggest Sues I have ever encountered.  "Aren't Ward and she dating?" Katie asked. "Yes! That is what is causing me consternation," Severus answered, shaking his head. "They have been extremely close friends since first year. Very much like Hermione and Harry were. Now, like the Professors, they have been chosen Head Boy and Head Girl. Every indication is that they are destined to be together. I feel that by offering her a position, I'm building a roadblock in the path of their happiness. It would dictate them being apart for three years."
I said this before, but we are never, ever shown why Jamies and Alex´ relationship is supposed to be sp special. 
I doesnt help that most of what Alex does - when he isnt channeling Kirk Cameron - is just to be there and be Jamies Yes-man on everything.  "Are you asking my advice?" Katie asked. "I value your opinion greatly." "Then when the time comes, you must offer her the position. By not doing so, even though your intentions might be honorable, you are trying to control her life. The choice has to be theirs. It will be a difficult choice, but it must be theirs to make."
The way she is saying it makes it sound as if the fate of the world is depending on it! 
* * * * * * 
Cut for another boring beach scene - Sam tells Ron that she´s been hanging out with Bonnies husband Jim. 
I wonder where this is going....
And cut for a Ginny/Draco scene, where they are on vacation and Ginny talks about wanting to be naked. 
We move on to the scene I alluded to earlier:
"Are you nervous?" Brian asked after he and Kim had paddled out to sea a good distance. "Nervous doesn't come even close to describing how I feel," Kim said fearfully. "You'll be fine," Brian said reassuringly. "You just have to trust me. Now getting to our feet can be a little tricky. I'll get up first and then assist you. Once we're both up, relax and lean back against me. Let me move your body in tandem with mine in order to maintain balance. One more thing, forget that we're naked." Forget that we're naked. How the devil am I supposed to do that when you're going to be touching me, when you want me to lean back against you? Why am I here? Why did I agree to do this? Because you´re about to be assimilated. Why is he so nice to me? Why is he so gorgeous? Brian had made what they had to do sound much easier than, in fact, it actually was. Ten times they had tried standing and ten times they had fallen into the brine. I almost except the Dirty Dancing soundtrack to play in the background at this time. Kim was exceeding glad that she was a proficient swimmer; else she would have already given up and begged to return to shore. As it was, she could only picture trying this a few more times. They fell for the eleventh time. "Okay," Brian said with assurance. "The twelfth time is charmed."
UUUHHHHHHH FOOOOORESHADOOWIIIIIING  "It better be," Kim gasped. "I've swallowed about as much ocean as I care to for one day." Brian was on his feet and so was Kim. They were finally actually both standing. "Now relax," Brian said. "Lean against me and let our bodies become one."
:S 
This sounds so wrong.  They were actually riding a wave, albeit a small one, and headed for shore. "This is great," Kim said happily, forgetting for the instant that Brian's naked body was pressed tightly against hers. Then he shifted to change their direction and she felt it. She knew at once what it was and it had nestled itself gently between her butt cheeks. FUCK YOU NEIL, FUCK YOU!!!!!! Kim panicked and they were both in the water.
I just can´t - and I find it strange to think that this Saga has actual fans.... "What happened," Brian asked after they had both surfaced and caught their breath. "I lost my footing," Kim lied.
Kim, grow a spine!  "Want to go out and give it another try?" Brian offered. "No thanks," Kim begged off. "I've had enough for the first time, but it was fun. Thanks." "It was my pleasure," Brian replied genuinely.
We now move on to Emilys sex obsession:
"Are you sure it was his Willie?" Emily asked as she and Kim lay in bed discussing the events of the day.
I wonder why Emily doesnt just say “penis”, given how obsesses she is with it.  "Well, since I didn't in point of fact see it, I can't be positive," Kim replied. "But I can't imagine what else it could have been. He had a hand on each of my arms and I was leaning back against him." "Was it soft or hard?" Emily persisted.
FUCK YOU NEIL  "I don't know!" Kim said, aggravated at Emily's doggedness. "I just knew it felt weird having a part of him touch me there." Kim thought for a minute. "He must have had a stiffy, otherwise I don't think it would have prodded me to the extent it did. I just know it didn't belong there."
I hate this fic.  "I think you're being overdramatic," Emily said assuringly. "Brian seems like a real nice guy. I'm sure he wasn't trying to do anything improper. It was probably just a natural reaction to his penis having rubbed against your bare skin. Jamie says they sort of have minds of their own sometimes; that guys can't fully control them."
Keep telling yourself that, Neil!  "Speaking of which, have you noticed Professor Weasley's?" Kim asked, her face turning ruby red.
I feel so sorry for Ron in this fic.  "It's somewhat difficult not to," Emily answered. "I wonder whether his large size has anything to do with him being a werewolf." "Probably," Kim answered. "Can you imagine something that large inside you?" She shuddered at the very thought. "I wonder how Sam does it."
Remember this conversation for later in the fic.
I know this may sound weird, but it is actually (kinda) important.  "Well, as we saw when Amanda and Mum gave birth, women can adjust." Emily said, actually fingering herself. FUCK YOU NEIL, FUCK YOU!!!!! "It must be an awfully tight fit." "Emily, can I ask you a question without you getting irritated and flying off the handle?" Kim questioned warily. "I can only promise to try," Emily said with a laugh. "Lately I seem to have a very short handle." Kim took a deep breath. "Are you and Caitlin gay? Have you had sex? I mean if you are and have, it's okay with me. I just..." She didn't finish.
I actually wonder how Kim got that vibe. 
Emily just stared at the ceiling, completely caught off guard by Kim's questions. "I don't think either of us is gay," she answered. "I'm not sure a person at twelve or thirteen can even be fully confident of their sexual preferences, but we are unquestionably both extremely interested in boys so I don't think that either of us is gay."
Yeah, keep telling yourself that. 
Besides the fact that this here seems extremely homophobic on Neils part - on the one hand constantly denying Homosexuality yet at the same time writing a sex scene between two (UNDERAGED) girls is just classic “Girl on Girl is hot” trope in all its glory. 
Also, apparently Bisexuality doesnt exist here. 
Not to mention that there is a short scene in the last chapter of the first fic in which Caitlin and Emily announce that they are a couple - that scene is never ever referenced to again afterwards. 
Like so many other things in this Saga. Emily took a deep breath, not sure how her best friend was going to handle the balance -___- and I was happy that we didnt have more misuses of the word “balance”  of her answer. "We have experimented with oral sex," Emily honestly admitted. "And we both found that it felt nice." "Oh!" Was all Kim could say in response. "Does knowing that change things between us?" Emily asked apprehensively. "I'm not sure," Kim said nervously. "I love you. You're my best friend, but I could never do that to another girl; not even you."
Well, in this fic, you never know for sure.  "Kim! I love you too and I'd never ask or expect you to do it," Emily replied. "I'm not even sure if I could do it with you. You are my best friend, but Caitlin is my sister and although I can't quite explain it; the two of us have a special something that actually made it feel good and proper."
The fact that she is your (adopted, but still) sister is what makes this even more disturbing - apart from the fact that they are both underage. 
Which again makes me think....Caitlin was raped by Madam Hooch when she was 12, and then two years later "experiments” with Emily - why can´t I help but feel like its a situation where a rape victim goes on to control youngers? "Then I can slumber assured that you won't molest me during the night," Kim said with a laugh.
As I said, Kim:
In this fic, you never know. 
I hate this fic.  "Promise," Emily said. "Will you still hold me if I have another nightmare about that git, like I did last night?"
I think this is the last time we ever hear about the almost-rape at Ford Lauterdale.  "Promise," Kim said, as she kissed Emily on the cheek before turning on her side and shortly going to sleep. * * * * * * More boring stuff, but this thing sticks out:
"How does he do it?" Ron asked as he helped Hermione situate and shade a sleeping Benjamin, all the time trying not to look straight at his friend. Ron was already using a towel to hide his semi-erectness; if he allowed his eyes to fully appreciate Hermione's body, he'd have a full-fledged stiffy that would never give up.
Wouldnt it be kind of interesting to see if Ron was still in love with Hermione despite all the things that happened?
This of course is never followed up upon. 
Ron and Hermione were interrupted by the shrill sound of a woman's voice loudly calling out Hermione's name.
Tumblr media
Hermione turned and, upon seeing Michelle Wolfskill, hurried to greet her, giving the relatively fleshy woman a proper hug. Michelle had befriended Hermione last year at Cap d'Adge; she was also responsible for telling the Potters about this cruise. Why are we given exposition again about things we already know? She and her husband, Lloyd, had been good friends of Jennifer and Carl Zacherley, Jamie and Emily's late parents. Who now only are mentioned like this in passing and otherwise no longer acknowledged. Upon first meeting, Michelle in fact mistook Hermione for Jennifer's sister because Jamie and Hermione looked so similar.
Oh. Its been a while since that has been mentioned.  "It's wonderful to see you again," Michelle said, sincerity evident in her voice. At that time she looked at Ron. "Have you brought us a new convert, Hermione?"
I wonder how actual nudists would react to this comment.  "That remains to be seen," Hermione said candidly. "This is Ronald Weasley. Ron, Harry and I have been best friends since our first year of school, despite the fact that we treat him like crap. Ron, this is Michelle Wolfskill. We only just met last summer, but hit it off immediately."
The last part sounds very wrong. 
Again.  Ron and Michelle exchanged smiles and then shook hands, with Ron, naturally maintaining full eye contact. "Where is Lloyd?" Hermione inquired. "Still sleeping," Michelle said disgustingly. "He was gambling till the wee hours of the morning. I didn't realize the ship had a casino when we booked passage or I might have reconsidered. Lloyd has an unhealthy obsession for playing poker, and he also wont have any influence on the plot anyway." Ron listened with great interest. Wizards had nothing that compared to casinos in their world. He was extremely eager to find out more about this form of adult Muggle entertainment. Unfortunately, Harry and Hermione seemed to both eye gambling negatively and Sam had shown little curiosity.
This is the first we ever see any evidence of this. 
This is of course only brought up for a stupid subplot that won´t have any influence or consequences on the main plot anyway.  "That's Samantha, Ron's wife, perched on Harry's shoulders," Hermione said, pointing in the direction of the pool. "We all call her Sam. Jamie is holding their son, Timmy." "You have a very attractive wife," Michelle said, but as she spoke her mind seemed to wander as she glanced at Kim, Caitlin and Emily. "Did you adopt another daughter?"
Basically yes.  "No, although she almost seems like part of the family," Hermione said with a laugh. "That is Kim, she's a good friend of both Emily and Caitlin." "But our family has increased in size," Hermione noted proudly as she bent over and picked up Ben. "I'd like you to meet Benjamin James Potter." "You've had a baby?" Michele said disbelievingly. She gazed at Hermione in skepticism and then at little Ben. Temporarily all other thoughts were erased from her mind as she looked at the adorable baby. "May I hold him?" "Certainly," Hermione said trustingly as she handed Ben to Michelle. "Don't take it personal if he wakes up and starts crying; he's normally been fed by now." "I'll feed him if I may?" Michelle said. "It seems like forever since I've held a baby and giving me grandchildren doesn't seem to be a priority with my children. Where do you have his bottle?"
This is how we know she has children, as it has never been mentioned before and will never be mentioned again.  "I'm breastfeeding," Hermione said almost penitently because she knew it would draw Michelle attention to her huuuuuuge breasts. Michelle just stared unbelievably at Hermione. There were so many things she was temped to say, so many questions on the tip of her tongue, but she somehow managed to remain mute and instead just nodded her head. "I looked all over Princess Cays for you yesterday," Hermione said. "I'd about come to the conclusion that you had decided not to book passage." "Lloyd and I opted to stay on board yesterday," Michelle advised. "Most of the stops are pretty much the same and Princess Cays, being owned by the line, is the most bland and uninteresting of the islands, and this way, the author doesnt have to write any descriptions of the island." "Ladies," Ron said, getting Hermione and Michelle's attention, "I'm not really in the mood to lie in the sun. If you don't mind, I believe I'll just move over to that table where I'll have a better view of the pool." "Are you sure?" Hermione asked, feeling shoddily for perhaps ignoring him. Ron, however, was already on his feet and didn't answer. Perhaps he hadn't heard her or possibly he was intentionally ignoring her as he headed for the empty table.
I really hate how Ron is treated in this fic - and it only gets worse from here.  * * * * * * Cut for another boring scene with Ron and Bonnie, playing chess - Bonnies husband Jim and Sam notice it. 
"Michele, what's on your mind?" Hermione inquired. "I know you well enough to be able to tell when something is bothering you. It's not like you not to say what you're thinking."
How many betas were supposedly involved in this again? Michelle looked at Hermione hesitantly. "I'd rather not say," she said. "I value your friendship too highly, and we get to see each other so seldom that I don't want to chance saying something that will rub you the wrong way." "Part of the reason I like you so much is because you are frank and tell it like it is. I'd much prefer you come out with whatever it is you want to say rather than let it fester the entire holiday."
It was never shown how close Hermie Sue and Michelle are. This here comes completely out of nowhere.  Michelle shook her head as she bit down on her lip. "You're a Mary Sue! different," she finally said. "I like you. I like you very much, but there is something different about you; and by you I mean you and your entire family." Hermione looked at Michelle concernedly. She was expecting a question in regards to her breasts or her body springing back to shape so fast after having Ben, but she wasn't expecting this. Michelle most certainly didn't know that she was magical, but somehow she had realized that she was unusual.
Sues usually do stick out wherever they are, even in a Saga like this with multiple Sues.  "Last year when we first met, I took an instant liking to you," Michelle said. "I imagine most people do; you have that sort of charisma about you. Of course, I was cheering for Jamie in the competition." Of course she was. She hesitated a moment. "I was watching the day of the contest when Jamie reached the hotel clutching her breasts in pain. Having done some nude running myself in my younger days, I could be empathetic with the tenderness she was feeling. It was evident that the girl could run no more."
I was already thinking in the last fic that it is a miracle that no one saw Caitlin and Hermione perform their Sue Powers on Jamie out in the open.  "But then I watched as you and Caitlin held hands and went into what seemed to be a deep trance. Jamie who had been sitting very quietly, almost as if in a trance herself, began to move about as if... Well, from my viewpoint she seemed to be reacting to her chest being rubbed, yet neither you nor Caitlin had touched her. This went on for a time until Emily came running up to you. She almost went into a panic yelling and shaking the three of you before finally there was a response."
Yeah. Busted.  "As you know Jamie went back and finished that race not showing any sign of even a token amount of tenderness. I kept my judgment to myself, not even telling my husband my suspicions. He probably would have considered me mad anyway. Besides, after what you and Harry had done... how you had taken those girls into your home and heart. I didn't want to think negatively of you."
I wonder, why would this make her think negatively of them?
Neil can´t write.  "But now look at you. Hermione, I've been a nurse for over twenty years," This is also only mentioned right now out of nowhere! Michelle declared. "Your body is flawless. The most obvious unfeasibility is your breasts. Natural breasts the size of yours do not, cannot defy gravity, especially when breast feeding."
This whole breast fixation is really creepy, but not surprising.  "But that's not all," Michelle went on. "Your skin is perfect. Not a stretch mark or even a pimple anywhere. Even the scar you had on your arm last year; probably from a childhood injury, is gone."
Oh G-d... Hermione glanced at her arm, almost in panic. Michelle was correct. The scar that she had gotten on her arm from a bicycle accident was gone. The massages that Caitlin had given her during her pregnancy had done far more than intended.
This is the first time we ever hear of said scar, as it certainly wasnt there the previous fic. 
Neil can´t write.  "Michelle, I don't know what to..." "Look Out! They're attacking!" shrieked a woman. "My god what are they!"
It´s Madam Hooch coming to eat all of their nipples!  "They're going for those girls!" "Someone help them, please! Oh my god, those poor kids." End of Chapter Three
I “love” how Neil loves to end chapters with completely stupid and unnecessary cliffhangers. 
Thank you very much to all of you that have reviewed. I thought that by now you might have tired of my stories, but the response to the first two chapters has been very gratifing.
Yeah, I can´t believe people actually liked it.  Thank you also to my wonderful betas: Amber, Paul, Matt and Peter work very hard to turn my gibberish into a readable chapter. Your betas suck! If anyone is concerned with the direction the story is headed with regards to Sam/Ron/Bonnie/Jim, please address you howlers to Paul. He suggest that sub plot.
Paul is stupid then. 
And believe me: 
It only gets worse. 
0 notes
skippyin · 7 years
Note
school story plz
WELL ALRIGHT THEN BUCKLE UP KIDDOS BECAUSE WE’RE GOING BACK TO SKIPPY’S SCHOOL DAYS. Now I’m not gonna drop any names but holy shit my early elementary school years were a trash fire. 
I have Aspburgers (I’m high-functioning though so it’s hard to tell), my brother has ADHD, my Mom has Dyslexia, and my Dad also has Aspburgers same as me. Both my parents went through hell when they were children, the school systems were brutal back then. They didn’t want to same for their children, so they got my brother and I 504′s and put us into Catholic Schools because we are Catholic and they wanted us to have that kind of education. The first school we chose, however, would be a den of nightmares. I’ll just use the initials: SH when referring to the school. The following is my account of what I went through in that school.
1st Grade: A good start! The teacher started out kinda mean but then shaped up. Treated me nicer when she realized I needed extra help and gave me that extra help. More or less went smoothly.
2nd Grade: Shit starts to get fucky. This teacher: Mrs. B(itch) was very stuck up. She was one of the members of Principle S(kanky Panky)’s little friend group. She greatly disliked me and my friend, Katie, not only because we both had learning disabilities, but also because we were both artists. The class was required to cover our textbooks to protect them from damage, but instead of using the stretchy cloth textbook covers like everybody else; Katie and I would use blank brown wrapping paper so we could draw on the covers, add stickers, etc. It was fun for us to personalize our textbooks, but Mrs. B HATED that we liked to draw because she thought it was a waste of our time and hers. It wasn’t easy, but I managed to troop through.
3rd Grade: Nice teacher. She liked me, and I had no problem with her. Though she would yell at the class often because a lot of the kids in the class were very misbehaved. This year went by without incident.
4th Grade: Another good year! (Unfortunately, my last at this school.) This teacher was my favorite and she was more than willing to give me a hand. The worst of my problems that year was the other kids in my class who liked to pick on me, but I was able to get through.
5th Grade: The beginning of The End. The gateway to True Hell. Which is ironic considering my teacher this year was a nun. Sister H(ell) was very old and therefore very old fashioned. She liked to play favorites, and usually preferred the boys over the girls for some reason, despite the fact that a good 75% of the boys in my class were assholes (don’t get me wrong though, a percentage of the girls in my class were bitches too). She gave me a hard time for my lacking math skills. Funny thing is, she had no idea how to teach the mathematical course material and told the parents on parent-teacher night that she was basically just winging it. She didn’t like me, or anything I did. It became a habit of mine to hum the Darth Vader Theme quietly to myself whenever I saw her walking by.
It was at this point my mother started complaining to Principle S that my education was starting to get hindered. At the same time, my brother was in 2nd grade and had gotten saddled with a different 2nd-grade teacher than me. This woman was ALSO in the principle’s friend group and was an even bigger problem then Mrs. B. She was just out and out mean to my brother and it was starting to become a problem. My mom filed these complaints and brought up our legal documentation. Principle S acknowledged that they were doing everything the documents told them what they had to do, but that she would have a personal word with our teachers to try to solve the problem.
A month passed. Nothing Changed.
Shit was still fucky, the Principle kept smiling and lying to her face, and my Mom decided that it was time to infiltrate. It was one of those kinds of situations where when peoples’ backs were turned, the staff was horrible. But when parents came over or people visiting from the school board: they were all suddenly super nice and acting on their best behavior. My Mom got a job at the school as the kindergarten teacher’s assistant in order to keep an eye on my brother and I and make sure we were being treated properly. The Principle and her friend group knew this was what she was doing and tried to keep her out of the loop as much as possible. Though her presence was very comforting to me, knowing she was so close by in this den of wolves.
(Side Story: Principle S is FUCKING Nuts.
While my Mom was working at the school she got into a friendly conversation with the Principle one day during lunch in the teacher’s lounge. She proceeded to tell my Mom a story of how she and her husband went to go visit her mother. Upon arriving at the elderly woman’s house, they found her on the floor and not moving. Now, any rational person would immediately call 911, right? Principle S didn’t. No, instead, her and her husband starting going around the presumably dead woman’s house and putting sticky notes with their names on all the fancy stuff they wanted. Turns out she wasn’t dead, just passed out. Upon realizing this, then they called 911. She laughed at it like it was a funny little story but my Mom just looked at her like she was crazy. And she was. There were many other stories like this, but that is the only one I know about.)
Nevertheless, the kindergarten classrooms were very out of the way from the rest of the school, so even though my Mom was present, they still pulled a lot of BS. When my 5th-grade year was finally over I was relieved, but boy oh boy was I jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire when I started--
6th Fucking Grade: What would be my last year at SH school. This year was my personal hell. THIS YEAR was when shit hit the fan. Ms. F(ucking Desperate For A Boyfriend) was the final member of the Principle’s friend group and was by far the worst in my opinion. Dear gosh this woman... Who let this woman near children... Where to begin, where to begin...
I guess I should start by saying she hated me. Just plain and simple. She hated me and anybody I associated with. She thought I was a Bad Kid. She thought I was a demon in disguise or some shit. That I was lying when I told my Mom about my hard time in school. How dare I get my Mom to “harras” her good friend Principle S with my disability papers. I’m just a lazy kid who doesn’t want to do any work so I’m giving myself an advantage over the other students who don’t have extra time on tests, or special seating, or get copies of notes from students who are doing good in school. How dare I get extra help that “I don’t need”. It was “unfair”.
So she proceeded to make every day of my 6th-grade life an uphill battle. And let me tell you it was a battle an emotionally and mentally draining one.
Here is a list of incidents I remember:
One day when I was absent, she made my two best friends sit out in the hallway and told them they couldn’t come back inside until they wrote a list of all the bad things I had done. They couldn’t do this, of course, because I had done nothing wrong, and were forced to stay out there until lunch time.
Complained every time I came to get my photocopied notes from her (only teachers had access to the copy machines). Would tell me every day that I didn’t deserve notes taken by a better student.
Never helped me whenever I would get bullied by other students.
Whenever I gave a wrong answer in class, would make it out as if it was the dumbest thing she had ever heard.
Kicked me out of my group who I was teamed up with on an important History Project. Said I was kicked out because I wasn’t “doing the work” and therefore my punishment was to do the whole thing by myself. I was absent for two days because I was sick with a fever, and I had told one of my teammates over the phone that I had my part of the work ready and I’d give it to them when I came back. Nope, doesn’t matter, what Ms. F says goes. I got saddled with four people’s weight in project work, along with my regular homework. My Parents helped me out a great deal because it was complete bullshit.
Went off on me when she found out I had started a trend among my classmates. Of drawing pictures of bad/dumb/silly things happening to her on sticky notes and trading them like trading cards. We all hated her.
Things really got set in motion during a private before-school meeting between Ms. F and my parents. Ms. F, my Dad, and my Mom, all sat down in our classroom and started to discuss what the fuck was going on. I was constantly asking my parents to keep me home from school, my grades were slipping, I was constantly stressed, and was showing the bad habit of plucking out my eyelashes. They wanted to know what was going on and they wanted it to be fixed. Ms. F proceeded to tell them the following:
A) I wasn’t disabled, I was only faking it because I am a lazy horrible brat who doesn’t want to do work and only wants extra help to give me an advantage.
B) If I really am disabled then I should be sent to a mental hospital/children’s special needs school for the severely disabled. I don’t belong in their school, I had no place in her classroom. I had to go where all the other “crazy children” were sent.
C) I am a manipulator and a liar playing everyone for fools, but NOT HER. No sir she doesn’t fall for my tricks.
Now.
My Dad is a slow to anger man. He is usually pretty laid back, and fun loving, and cool. But when he gets mad, watch out. Meanwhile, my Mom kind of is the opposite. She is a very passionate woman who likes to yell a lot whenever she feels there is some sort of injustice. Small but Loud. Like Anger from Inside Out. I’ve seen her mad, but when she’s Angry her rage burns brighter than the light of 1000 suns. The only thing keeping the two of them from beating the ever-loving crap out of Ms. F right then and there was the knowledge that they’d probably get pressed on Assault charges.
No, instead, they advanced on her. Forced her to back up against the wall. My dad, tall and looming behind my mom fixing this woman with a death glare. My mom pointing a finger at her face and said “I swear to God in heaven above if I ever catch you off school property... I don’t care if we’re in the grocery store, I don’t care if we’re in church, I don’t care if it’s years and years from now and I’m an old woman. I will punch you dead in the face for talking about my daughter that way and putting her through this. That is a promise, you Bitch. So you better be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life and praying and you don’t see me there.”
It was at this time school was starting, so my class came in to see my parents staring down our teacher. I was oblivious to the tense air in the room and just waved at them saying “Hi Mom and Dad!! :D” 
Meeting over.
My Mom is the kind of person who keeps her promises. She once knocked out a guy with a single punch. And another time my Mom broke some chick’s jaw when she tried to mug my Aunt. She knows how to throw a good punch.
But unfortunately, Ms. F was undeterred by my parents legal and physical threats. And only made things harder.
The final straw happened when we were 3/4ths through the year. The home stretch. I wanted to try my hand at writing poetry. We had some free time, so I got out a sheet of paper and got to work. Not too long after, the group of boys who liked to pick on me came over and tried to read it. I knew it would only give them cannon fodder to use against me so I tried to keep it away from them. They were persistent so I decided to try to use my pen to fend them off. One of the nice boys, Anthony, came over to try to break up the commotion. I accidentally wound up getting pen ink on his uniform shirt. I apologized, knowing he had only been trying to help and he told me not to sweat it and that his mom would just wash the shirt. The situation is over, right? Wrong.
Not ten minutes later, Ms. F slams her hands on her desk and screams my name. I snap to attention because “Oh no what’s happening?” She starts yelling at me because I got ink on Anthony’s shirt. How dare I do something so atrocious. Now Anthony’s poor mother has to slave away at the washing machine tonight to try to clean the ink off of his expensive uniform shirt. It doesn’t matter that I already apologized, it doesn’t matter that Anthony forgave me, I should feel bad about doing this horrible thing. She basically proceeded to humiliate me in front of the entire class and I was mortified.
I went, hid in the girl’s bathroom, and cried like Hermione Granger did in Sorcerer's Stone. After I calmed down, I refused to head back to class, too afraid getting yelled at again. Usually, if a student spends too long in the bathroom, another student is sent to go check on them to make sure they’re okay and bring them back to class. I decided to wait for someone to come for me. So I sat, and I waited. And waited. And waited. Nobody came to get me. My Mom wasn’t notified of the incident either, so she was waiting for me outside. It wasn’t until hours later when one of my friends came up to her after clubs were over and told her what happened that she found out. That I’ve been in the bathroom all day, and Ms. F didn’t want anybody to go get me. My Mom rushed into the school, ran into the bathroom, and embraced me. She was so worried because I was a child, left alone, unsupervised. This is how kids get kidnapped and go missing. This is how kids’ faces get plastered on missing posters and billboards. I was left alone in that bathroom with nothing but my own self-loathing all day, anything could have happened to me. We marched out of the bathroom, down to the Principle’s office, and my Mom called Principle S a sick pig bitch, threatening to sue her for every penny she had.
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. My Mom was outraged by the school and its horrible treatment of myself, my brother, and any other disabled child that happened to come up to their doorstep. She was sick and disgusted and DONE. I remember vividly when we got back in the car, the first thing she did was call my Aunt on her cell phone and said: “I want a lawyer.” Unfortunately, we never did take them to court on this, I can’t remember the reason why. We’ve always been pretty financially tight, so I think it’s the fact that we just couldn’t afford a lawyer to do an all out lawsuit. 
My Mom pulled me and my brother out of that school and sent us to a different Catholic School. This one was so much better, so much nicer, all the teachers loved us, the principal he was so great and nice, we made friends with tons of different kids. It was the exact opposite of what we went through in that hell hole.
And you know what? I’m not mad. I’m not bitter. And I still feel like I’ve won even though we didn’t get any sort of “revenge” on these people. Me living my life, being happy, and being with my loved ones is revenge enough. In the end, they don’t matter to me. But at the same time, they did wind up teaching me something. They showed me the kind of person I didn’t want to be. They were bitter, revenge seeking, condescending, lazy, and prideful. They got enjoyment out of making me and anybody they deemed “unfit” miserable. I don’t want to be like them. I could have used their real names, I could put their addresses and phone numbers out there for everybody to see, with a call to action to “teach them a lesson” in order to form a justice-seeking mob mentality amongst anybody who reads this story. But I’m not. Because I don’t want to be seen as a victim. What I experienced was horrible, yes, but I don’t feel the need to cry out for justice. Because I’m satisfied with living my life and winning against them by leaving them behind, by not letting what they did to me haunt me every day of my life. And you know what? I’m fine.
I got two little sisters who I love very much.
I met some of my very best friends still to this day in high school.
I got my Associate's degree with honors.
I’m currently studying for my Bachelor's and eventually will get a job doing something I love.
I play games with my friends.
I do what I love every day.
I spend every day with my family who loves and supports me and encourages me.
I have so many blessings, I’m not going to let those years ruin my life when my life so good.
I guess the thing to take away from my story is, don’t dwell on things. You don’t have to nessicarily forgive them for what they did, but which sounds better to you: Dwelling on memories that make you feel like shit for the rest of your life or surrounding yourself with the people you love and making new better happier memories? I rolled with the punches that were thrown at me and came out stronger for it.
So while they sit there, stewing in their own bitterness, in a teaching job they hate but only took because they want the summers off. I’m off in the world, experiencing new things, and Living.
I am very happy. ^u^
Thanks for reading.
68 notes · View notes