#and also i just got to remind myself that objectively im not the best at anything. like my art or writing

[1bringthesun]

have any of you read “Dancing Girl?” gosh, it just made me sad. Mori Ougai is a really good author haha, hahaha. hah… h-

.

..

…

yeah i’m relating this to bsd! Mori. BITE ME!! ahem. so in this essay i will be talking about Elise and Mori’s relationship. i’ve already established i don’t see her as his “wife” or the object of his sexual desires, and i’ve also mentioned i like the “Elise is his daughter,” way of seeing things, however … well, there’s more than just that.

1) Elise represents his inner child

2) Elise preserves the memory of a dead lover and is his “partner”

3) Elise is a child-figure to him

those numbers will be reused in that order to mean the same thing later, but first, background and “Dancing Girl!”

so i think that, within the definition of his and Elise’s relationship, Mori embodies Toyotarou from “Dancing Girl” more than Kanei from “Vita Sexualis” (i think i learned which type of media went in italics and which sort in quotes some time in third grade, but it’s been entirely too long and therefore i’ve forgotten all of it and you’ll have to excuse my poor grammar if im messing it up). why, you may ask? well, first of all, Elise is literally from that novel. second of all, i’ve just skimmed vita sexualis (- an asexual) while “Dancing Girl” managed to catch my attention a lot more. plus, Mori was one of the characters that Asagiri explicitly stated he wanted to add in, and we all know just how evil Asagiri Kafka can be when he feels like it.

… why is the space so long ? why are these spaces different sizes?? this is really bugging me … but whatever, i’ll try my best to ignore it … (nevermind it looks perfectly normal when i post it i guess it’s just a. draft thing)

ahem, so, in “Dark Era,” Mori basically goes “damn Dazai you’re suicidal as hell! you remind me of myself hahah!” and i feel like that’s pretty concrete evidence Mori Did Not have a happy childhood (i mean, duh, considering he was trigger-happy to friendly fire as an important military man at 20 some years old) and was likely suicidal in the past too, to some extent. in that sense, the chains that tie Dazai down, if they’re Odasaku’s last words, are the Port Mafia for Mori. he cannot die as long as he’s sane and capable of leading the PM, because he’s basically the very embodiment of it.

⚠️SPOILERS FOR “DANCING GIRL!”⚠️

alright, onto “Dancing Girl.” i’ll give you a quick rundown. it’s basically about this college dude (25 or so) (haha that reminds me of the, “am i the asshole?” posts. i (M26) just fell in love with a girl (F18) of whom i’ve known since she was a minor and i was still an adult. i got her pregnant by some time after she became of-age, then i left her to pursue my career. am i the asshole?) (godamn it tai you just spoiled the whole novel) (i’ll put a spoiler warning up somewhere in the beginning) (bear with me) with depression who falls in love with a… looks at the parenthesis and sighs deeply.

he doesn’t see any point in anything because his life was just a glorified projection of his mother and school’s desires, so he starts being a little more hedonistic and learning about the arts instead of becoming a lawyer like they wanted him to. he meets Elise (her name) and basically immediately feels attracted to her in some way he can’t put into words (she’s 17ish when they meet btw) and starts teaching her things and basically acting like a sponsor to her. they don’t start getting romantic and/or sexual until some unsaid period of time passes. now i personally choose to interpret this as her turning 18 before they do all that stuff, but since it never explicitly says, well… yeah. Toyotarou is used to living his life in a cushy-ish manner as a child prodigy and what have you, but he eventually gives that away to live with Elise. that being said, his “giving it away” was less of a choice to be with her and more of a digression from a perfect machine into a person with his own stunted feelings.

she makes him satisfied, and he makes her very deeply happy, but eventually he chooses his career over her and she goes crazy because of how betrayed she feels- she really deeply loved him, after all. he pays her mother enough to keep her afloat and to take care of the baby he left in her stomach, and went back to Japan without another word. Toyotarou! you bastard!! (it’s not like he was without remorse, though)

anyway back to the numbers.

1) Mori’s past is pure speculation, but he was a military doctor ranked quite high as a very young man, one that didn’t hesitate to shoot someone on his own side no less (like i said) so it’s probably a given he didn’t have a stress-free childhood. this is an excerpt from “Dancing Girl,” in which i think explains the possibility that Elise represents the angry child inside of Mori that he never got to let out as a real child.

2) given what i said above, this also feels pretty self-explanatory. we basically only know two things about Mori, that he would do anything for the greater good (which is usually the PM/yokohama), and that he longs for a “partner” who will understand and not leave him. it’s possible Fukuzawa filled that role for a while, but Mori is a little unhinged and did some bad things out of obsession, which severed their ties because of Fukuzawa’s innate nature. Mori has called Elise his partner (tsuma, AKA person who stays by my side) (i know nobody says tsuma and means it that way but considering “Yatsugare san” exists (yes i’m looking straight at you, AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE), i wouldn’t put it past Asagiri to use tsuma in that manner) before and acts dramatic as all hell when she dies. it’s almost like … someone called Elise really DID die before?

3) this requires the least explanation. we already know Mori likes children in a non-pedo way, shown by things like how he helped Atsushi gather his courage in Anne’s room (which did nothing for him, btw) and his profession in the beast AU. but what sort of mafia don has a cute daughter?? that’s like ASKING for her to be killed. so Elise, the product of Vita Sexualis, is the next best thing he can have!

Elise also is a lot like the Toyotarou, while Mori acts more like Elise when they’re together. it’s just something i noticed watching the two interact in BSD and DG. the whole idea of having no autonomy is kinda Elise’s (BSD) thing, isn’t it?

my phone is now 20% and i have no charger. i have probably 69 viruses and also since i have apps like tiktok, wechat, and discord… you can imagine how much this poor device suffers, but i regret nothing. yahoo! hope you enjoyed my rant~

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #dancing girl #a german dancing girl specifically named Elise #bsd elise #bsd mori #mori ougai #Mori Elise #can i call her Mori Elise?? i mean she’s basically his daughter anyway so #Mori and Elise #toyotarou #god they make me sad #Mori is so traumatized and so babygirl #not all would understand #anyway i’m getting carried away even in the hashtags.. is this who we are??? #AH MY PHONE IS AT 5% WHAT THE HELL. #okay i’m posting it now i hope this gets some attention because otherwise i might go crazy /j

[actually-a-fish]

The Mitchells vs. The Machines

Hello! I like watching movies. Ideas get stuck in my head while watching them and i need them out of my brain. This is my 4/9/24 viewing of The Mitchells vs. The Machines. I like cartoons :)

This will have spoilers

Without further ado... my thoughts chronologicall

PROLONGED EYE CONTACT DODODODOD

The main VA is Abbie Jacobson (aka Princess Tiabeanie Mariabeanie de la Rochambeau Grunkwitz)

this family reminds me so much of mine minus depression and a commitment to a cult :)

girl its probably a good thing you weren't at the tech reveal. be nice to the siris, alexas and echos in your life...

i kinda wanna watch that robot movie with Will Smith and hot robots now

THEY ALL HAVE STIMS GUYS

running away from your crush and saying you hate them is so real

"what are these? robutts?"

HES TAKING NOTES

I like that the new genre of villian is a tech bro and AI

I dont like this bit about wifi, we are dependent on it yeah but people can adapt pretty well. Well some I guess.

why do dads always suggest eating the family pet?

i cannot express how autistic this family is. its constant, not demeaning or the butt of a joke. just a family being a family. I have flappy hands about it.

aww dads do love to teach their kids to drive stick shift

i do like Eric and Barbara

the robots are shooting the humans into space, that's their plan and honestly i've been saying we should shoot garbage into space for a while now so im glad somone is finally doing it

there are cute edits done by katie through the whole movie and they deserve a shout out

I knew touch screen fridges were a bad idea

NOT FURBYS WTF WHY THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE

"your whole lives i wanted to save you from disater and this is the moment ive been waiting for" - Rick (and also my father)

KATIE DRAWS ON HER HANDS TOO OMG THE DETAILS. THERE IS SO MUCH STIMMING AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY EVERY TIME

This is good family bonding, but no tears yet.

unfortunately i think the family bonding was to good. The dad left a sentimental object in katies bags and now im convinced hes gonna sacrifice himself to save the rest of the family.

now im crying. :) if you watched i bet you could guess which part.

oof crying again! a Twofer!

This movie may be healing my childhood trauma. I miss my parents. They were just doing their best

THE CALL BACKS. THE CULMANATION! ITS MAKING ME EMOTIONAL IM SORRY

thank you game grumps for introducing me to the song "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was (not was)

An accurate compilation of watching my coworkers and professors use computers

uh oh they got little brother, Linda is gonna rip out someone's heart

OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA GET MAD

ERIC AND BARBARA SUPREMECY

damn i need to see my family so i can remember why i hate them bc this is to sweet for me

TEAM E AND B! TEAM E AND B!

How long of a break between the entire world being abducted by robots and everyone going back to work was? Do you think this was like their pandemic

"My name is Monchi, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair"

THEYRE BASED ON A REAL FAMILY (and the whole family has "im easily overstimulated" hair cuts, its so relatable)

It's cheesy. full of stuff you know is meant for kids and that corporate made them do. but I really liked it. I know the whole bit is that the family is weird. I don't really like that they used the word weird instead of autistic but i can kinda understand why they had to do it. i found myself relating the characters constantly. The way they run away when things get overwhelming, communicate through their interests, stim when they have big feelings (they all have their own, and most of them have a couple they do) and the way the situation their in affects them. It is not perfect representation but it did a good enough job for me.

If you read all the way through thank you! If you have any formatting tips please lmk!

Also I feel the silly need to add, this is all my opinion, and my opinion is not fact! It's okay if we don't agree and if you're nice, I would love to hear about it :)

#ihavedaddyissues #the mitchells vs the machines #autism #neurodivergent #special interest #dinosaur #spoilers #the mitchells vs the machines spoilers

[spidermanifested]

5, 12, & 24 for Dolcetto :-)

(send me fma characters for this thing)

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

foreign object by the mountain goats, and i swear i even forgot the first line of that song is "whipped like a dog". i just like to think about dolcetto threatening to personally stab somebody in the eye with a foreign object

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

see most of my "dolcetto headcanons" are just from listening to you and nodding because yes makes perfect sense thank you for the genius brain insights. and my memory being what it is i can never be sure if i came up with something myself or adopted it from elsewhere, BUT, im pretty sure i reached the idea on my own that he smokes partially to as a way to control the smell-scape around him. like its strong but he knows what its going to be every time you know

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

augh. the whole nest just takes up such a unique space and im not sure if i know any characters i could compare directly to any of them? maybe. hm. arcee transformers but specifically the 2005 idw comics version. shes got the unethical experimentation backstory shes got the itch for a fight shes got the making-the-best-of-her-situation and turning over a new leaf. shes also got Written By A Known Misogynist Whose First Pass At Her Backstory Had To Be Partially Retconned For Egregiously Transphobic Implications but. you know how it is with comics

dumb joke answer this thing

#gilasaurus #fullmetal alchemist (fullmetal alchemist)

[reel-fear]

Love as a construct rambling below bc Im thinking so fucking hard abt it rn

one of my favorite bits ever since I read the fic as a kid who has just played portal 2 in elementry [yes I've loved it for that long, I still remember looking up GLaDOS x Wheately on my first shitty little windows computer when I stumbled upon it haha and man did I love it] was the one where Rick shows up, both bc its hilarious and very fun but also because it's just... It's such a delight. Everything about it. I've got so many lines from this fic outright memorized bc of how often I read it. If all fics were suddenly wiped one day this is the fic I would desperately try to keep archived no matter what.

ANYWAYS THO THE RICK CHAPTERS, not only hilarious but a great dissection of Wheatley's character and his true love for GLaDOS. The way his character contrasts with Rick is soooo well explored and in mere words is put out so plainly and well in character. Having Rick go full out Alpha Male Podcaster in this chapter was a great way to show just how well intentioned Wheatley always is. Rick speaks of trying to bed GLaDOS and who Wheatley is a little idiot who will never Get anything out of his relationship with her leaves Wheately baffled and confused. Because he's not in this relationship to try and wrangle something out of GLaDOS, Rick is projecting and Wheatley can't even seem to understand how or why Rick would view GLaDOS almost like an object for him to own.

It baffles and terrifies him. How could someone ever view the amazing, complex, powerful and beautiful GLaDOS like that? The way he starts to view Rick for the weirdo hunter/predator he is also shows Wheatley's intelligence, which is ironic but regardless. He might be stupid but he knows GLaDOS deserves better than that and that the way Rick thinks of and talks about her is demeaning.

But specifically these lines in particular.

everything about it potrays Wheatley so in character, the way his thoughts are so scattered, he gets off topic so quickly in a way that only makes sense in his brain. Me and Roddy have talked at length about how in this fic GLaDOS and Wheatley easily potray neurodivergence and Wheatley in particular has a very frantic fast and panicked mind. He screams ADHD or Autism mixed with an anxiety disorder to me. The way he thinks, the way he tries to talk it reminds me a lot of myself. Even if generally I find GLaDOS the most relatable character here.

Hell Wheatley after this thinks of how strange it would sound to tell GLaDOS he was visualizing her as a butterfly. Her brain just doesn't work the same way his does.

Not to mention it shows one of the best things about Wheatley's inner conflict here, how does he protect someone he views as so much more powerful than he is? He can't just disregard the idea of protecting her. Even if it doesn't make sense logically. He wants to protect her more than anything in the world, she might not need that protecting, he might not be able to do it, but those facts don't matter to him. His love for GLaDOS overpowers everything.

When Rick implies GLaDOS made a mistake Wheatley tells him bluntly GLaDOS Doesn't make mistakes, even when she herself has admitted it to him that she's not perfect. Wheatley just thinks the world of her and while Rick passively demeans her Wheatley sings her praises.

When Rick shoves him his instinct is to shove back but his second thought, what would GLaDOS want? This is the thing that makes Wheatley not like Rick, even in this part where Wheatley can be read as somewhat protective and possessive, this thought in particular shuts down the idea Wheatley would ever let such things overide GLaDOS' desires. He wants to protect her and keep her close to him, that's his first thought but his second? What does She want? What would She do?

THIS, is what makes Wheatley different than Rick. Wheatley doesn't want to warn GLaDOS about Rick so she won't hang out with other men or so she won't fall in love with them. He doesn't want her to do those things of course, but most of all he wants her to be able to make an informed decision about what she is doing. If Rick and her did get together, he wanted there to be no deception, no tricks or manipulation. That's what he wants for GLaDOS that's how he protects her.

It's not about keeping her to himself, it's about knowing if he lets go... She'll still be okay and happy.

#gladley #wheatdos #portal 2 #ramblez #I have so many other thoughts buzzing in my brain rn but ogh I gotta focus on school rn so those will wait until later-

[f0xx0rzz]

all odds >:] or ones that end in 3 if you dont wanna do that many xD

ty ilu.

1- chipotle order? burrito carnitas (o asada) con crema, queso, arroz blanca, y frijoles negros. sin guacamole. no me gusta jaja

3- a specific color that gives you the ick? tbh nothing really specific comes to mind. i guess my least favorite colors are like.... desaturated pinks.

5- favorite form of potato? i like potato skins with cheese, bacon, green onion... or just a lot of butter. i love mashed when its smooth but solid, with the skins, salt and butter.

7- what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium? i like the cuttlefish and jellyfish a lot, but if there's a touch tank FUCK YEAH

9- do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)? sort of, but i cant ever keep up with it. i use a non-comedogenic face wash for oily skin (cerave brand). i also use a prescription eczema cream when it flares up. im looking into prescription acne wash because my acne got so bad on hrt

11- anything from your childhood you’ve held on to? like, material? the only thing i kept on purpose was a cat plush named Tabitha. im sure my parents kept some stuff that idc about

13- first thing you’re doing in the purge? getting gussied up and slaying, obvs

15- rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning idk. i hear the least to most painful is drowning, freezing, then burning, but idk, i think if i had to choose one for myself it'd be burning. drowning is supposed to be kinda peaceful but i loathe being underwater. freezing is probably pretty slow and also i hate being cold. with burning, its definitely not boring and i think youd probably pass out from pain or lack of oxygen in a couple minutes anyway.

17- an anxious compulsion you do everyday? ok so. my entire existence is an anxious compulsion.

19- the veggie you dislike the most? hmmmm.... i p much like them all i think, but i guess peas when theyre overcooked and mushy are p gross.

21- a number that weirds you out? odd numbers with more than one digit that arent multiples of 3 or 5. except 13. best number.

23- do you wear jewelry? short answer yes. long answer, i have my multiple ear piercings and a claddaugh ring i wear 24/7 and occasionally i will throw on a necklace or bracelet. reminds me, i should change my earrings up soon. its been a while.

25- would you say you have good taste in music? objectively yes.

27- what’s your favorite or go-to outfit? black graphic t-shirt, cargo shorts, and boots. if its chilly, a hoodie on top.

29- preferred pasta noodle? cavatappi my beloved (also penne)

#ask game #about f0x

[sinterblackwell]

2023 - mid-year book freak out tag

yay to getting into danmei. yay to my current read, qiang jin jiu, that’s wrapped itself around my brain.

yay to turning 22, and so as a gift to myself, i wrote to my heart’s content about some of the reads that have stood out to me this year so far.

it was really fun <3 and long lol enjoy

best book you’ve read so far in 2023?

the grandmaster of demonic cultivation (vol. 3) by mxtx

this is actually a much more objective answer, like scum villain would seem the most obvious choice being that it’s my new all-time comfort series but genuinely, the plot and character arcs of mdzs were so truly well-done and completely mind-bending to me, i was obsessed with it through & through.

best sequel you’ve read so far in 2023?

the scum villain’s self-saving system (vol. 2) by mxtx

this is the volume where shen qingqiu/shen yuan really gets himself in deeper trouble as despite how adamant he is that the people he’s contending with, including luo binghe, are simply fictional characters, he twists the story so much that he finds himself enveloped in it. and he soon has to come to face that his actions do have serious consequences that affect the emotions & actions of others.

also the angst….luo binghe was so goddamn heartbroken the whole time and sqq couldn’t even understand it, it was a lot. i loved it.

new release you haven’t read yet but want to?

ascension by nicholas binge

this story reminds me so much of echo by thomas olde heuvelt, one of my top 3 reads of 2022, and while things certainly will be different, i am very excited for what the premise is promising.

most anticipated release for the second half of the year?

the husky & his white cat shizun (vol. 3) by meatbun

this official english translation by seven seas entertainment was set to be released much sooner, im recalling maybe around the first half of the year?? and then it just got set back even further, which absolutely pained me with the way things ended in volume 2. it was definitely probably for a good reason since it promises that the translation will give the story a lot of justice by being more thorough, but damn 🥲

imagine starting this series in late january and then finding out you won’t get to know what happens next for about seven whole months. i’ve had lots of experience at this point, you would think i’d be used to it, but i simply am not. what makes it worse is that there are already fans out there who know what happens, they know the story from beginning to end. and for those who couldn’t understand chinese, there were fan translations to help include those better with english into the fandom, but now that’s gone, since seven seas has taken the rights of the official english translations.

this volume isn’t set to come out until september. i wholeheartedly cannot wait another moment, and yet i am simply here….waiting :’)

biggest disappointment?

maniac (necessary evils, #7) by onley james

you know….this series is not perfect by any means. the writing can be pretty average every once in a while, the dialogue cringey at times and almost juvenile, even, despite how dark the content is. but the author writes one hell of a case for each book, and it’s a very unique premise for the story as a whole. this is the same author who completely changed me after reading asa & zane’s story in headcase, making me break outside of my comfort zone when it came to what i consume in romance; and the fact that i actually enjoyed it??

as someone who has just recently experienced this same thing with danmei, this is something i’ll always appreciate her for because it was a huge jump out of my comfort zone that i would’ve never given a second thought to before but i was already five books into the series so there was no turning back, i was committed.

with this very interesting take on the found family trope, and the clear care that the author took regarding the subject of these psychopaths handling these grim cases, i was very much sad about having to say goodbye to the characters because i don’t think this is something i could’ve read by anyone else, and i don’t think there’s anything similar. so it made it even more disappointing when with this particular relationship in this final book, all the build-up that had been written of this dynamic from all the way back to unhinged, just suddenly collapsed and didn’t feel nearly fully resolved. the subject matter, especially with thomas’ painful backstory, was just as dark and difficult to read as the others, and it felt personal because of course it was, he was the center of this entire project that made this story. but….it was hard to reckon with knowing how the plot itself actually was pretty solid but then just kinda tied itself up way too neatly by the end?

i like this found family, i really really do, and it’s nice to know that they get their happy endings, but the way it was written felt so easy. what these characters were doing were pretty huge on a national scale and all eyes are on them due to their fame & popularity, and yes i can believe that the system maybe is just that oblivious, maybe that’s why they’re even doing this in the first place, but a part of me was hoping to see much more tension, more stakes built that puts these characters all in all in a very precarious position. this final book hints at that in the synopsis but it doesn’t follow through that well, because again, everything just seemed pretty rushed and a bit lackluster in execution once this final mystery was solved with a bloody red bow. the closest to these characters getting into any trouble was when zane in headcase, as a budding crime reporter, was actually pretty damn close to completely unraveling all the secret dealings that the mulvaney family were involved with. but then he meets asa, and well…here he goes becoming a part of the mulvaneys and easing into their operation with his own skill set as a reporter, which you gotta love for him.

if i look at this from a different angle, i can see another reader possibly enjoying this because again, this series could just be a nod to how fucked up the justice system is that a group of psychopaths are the ones to rid these terrible people off the streets. what they’re doing isn’t evil at all, it’s just as a minor character tells zane in headcase, that if what the mulvaneys were doing was to be revealed to the whole goddamn world, a great majority would probably be thankful for it because these people they’re taking out are genuinely awful and completely irredeemable. so no, i don’t wish for the mulvaneys to get punished, they’ve already been through enough in their own pasts and they deserve to get to live this very unconventional and comfortable life with each other; especially noah and zane.

is this an outcome that any good therapist would wish for these two in particular?? hell no….but they’re happy and they’ve been through enough neglect & abuse in their childhoods, let them be pampered by their psychopathic lovers and be part of a family that has well and done proven they would literally kill for them to secure their protection….because they already have.

at the end of the day, i guess for a finale…i just expected more, personally?? and it felt a little flat for me is all. the more time goes on, the more i don’t feel all that positive about my enjoyment of the final book. but i still have soft feelings for the characters, and it does kill me to think i simply don’t understand the story as well as i wish i could’ve.

the ending just wasn’t entirely for me, sad to say. and the writing, didn’t do a lot as i hoped for.

so yeah….there’s that 😅 (i’m definitely using this as my goodreads review)

biggest surprise?

hawk mountain by connor habib

see, the writing style was pretty interesting, which was a bit of a surprise on its own since it was just so completely unlike a lot of what i’m used to reading. but even more so, the big surprise lied in a plot twist that happened in the story. and now, with this twist, it was something i already had predicted, but it happened so much sooner than i had thought and so to see how the author wrote the aftermath, the next 200 or so pages that were still left in the book, it was very impressive, making the story that much more intense to me, and it also made me appreciate what he was doing at all.

i also would say another surprise is just the fact that i even read this book at all since i literally read it in the spur of the moment after first hearing about it in a booktube video where the creator was being recommended this title and the words “an English teacher is gaslit by his charismatic high school bully” immediately made me check out this story on libby, which!! would you look at that?? it was available.

i wasn’t reading anything else at the moment since at the time, i had to wait to read the next volume for tgcf, so that definitely made for a memorable reading experience :’)

new favorite author?

rou bao bu chi rou, aka ‘meatbun doesn’t eat meat’

if we’re looking at the numbers, mxtx would actually be the one who’s a new favorite since i’ve read all her translated books up to this point. and while i do respect her a ton as an author, meatbun just really stands out with only two of the works i’ve been able to read by her: dumb husky & his white cat shizun + yuwu.

yuwu especially, even though i’ve only read the first volume in the seven seas eng. translation, it made a huge impression on me because of how much i loved the way this particular author writes her characters. there’s a different brand of humor that’s unlike mxtx, which makes it difficult to compare, but the relationships meatbun has her characters involved in in particular, especially the main pairing, really throw me for a loop because they’re like the definitions of tragic lovers, but there’s still so much more going on in the story, so much deception and political struggles going on, i deeply enjoy every bit of it. yeah there’s a lot of angst, but the yearning….i can’t get enough. especially being in mo xi’s pov.

newest fictional crush?

i….do not have one. the closest ones i can come up with are michael stirling from when he was wicked by julia quinn + wyatt mckinley from how to say i do by tal bauer. and this is just because they’re definitely my most favorite love interests i’ve read this year so far :’)

newest favorite character?

- jiang cheng from grandmaster of demonic cultivation by mxtx

it’s as i said to another reader friend of mine (i’m doing this word for word lol):

he has anger issues. a bitter human being. he lashes out pretty quickly because he doesn’t like being seen as vulnerable. he turned out very closely like his dead mother, who was abusive, but it wasn’t written all black & white, at least the story didn’t make it so but the fandom took it upon themselves to do as such. he lost a lot and the way cultivation society manipulated that to make him turn against his own brother, was very hard to read.

he’s so complicated, i love that in characters. i love characters who get so many chances to be better and they have that potential but their own vices make them fall short, they just…feel so bittersweet, and they have these moments where the sweet shines through a little, but it’s not permanent. it’s there, but it’s fleeting.

book that made you cry?

ahem….heaven official’s blessing (vol. 4) by mxtx

TWO words: blackwater arc

book that made you happy?

- sent to a fantasy world and now all the men want me (vol. 1) by jaclyn osborn

no, this is not a manga, but it has all the tropes seen in a book where the mc is “isekai’d into a fantasy world and magically gets into a harem” (as said by a friend when i was speaking to them about it). and they were right!!

at first, i was going to list the true love experiment by christina lauren as the winner but just a few days ago, i finished this story, and it was so ridiculous and fun and heartwarming and had such an interesting world for evan & me to dive into, i couldn’t help myself putting it on here.

it’s so incredibly self-indulgent, and it just makes the story even better. i already miss kuya and can’t wait to see him & sawyer get their happy ending in the future because it will come. same for lake, lake is a sweetheart who deserves better.

most beautiful book you bought this year?

- all the sinners bleed by s.a. cosby (x)

literally just bought this book and i gotta say, 75% of the reason was because of how stunning the blood moon is on the cover :’)

books you really need to read by the end of the year?

- dark heir (dark rise, #2) by c.s. pacat

- all the hidden paths (the tithenai chronicles, #2) by foz meadows

technically, these books don’t even come out until the end of the year. but i know damn well that is there no way i’m not reading them before the world turns 2024.

dark heir i have been waiting for for about TWO years now, and all the hidden paths was a pleasant discovery since the first book read pretty much as standalone; but with how expansive the worldbuilding was and same for the court intrigue, plus all the drama that happened near the end, it only makes sense that there’s still a lot to uncover in this universe so i am very much looking forward to it.

#❣️ #i was this 👌🏽 close to not publishing this at all and then i remembered this is my blog and i like writing stuff like this so yeah :’) #just something for me to look back on on this app #booklr

[terracyte]

the shoulder pads look cool but don’t do much against the cold

#hi! #i have an art and i am back lurking on tumbgle #i dont think my little break affected too many people but thanks for being patient <3 #love yall #zuko #sokka #katara #atla #terra art #also dont mind me im gonna ramble just a tad here cause tags are cool like that hehe #to everyone who sent in nice messages thank you so so much it really means the world to me :')) #and even if you didnt i hope you know i appreciate you so much to! #im sorry for all the complaining pity posts a week ago dshgaj #i guess i was super out of it cause i normally dont really like to complain 'publicly' cause it doesnt really help anyone you know? #it just makes people uncomfortable and i go on a self pity trip #so instead ill spam cute posts and look at all the wonderful stuff my moots make <33 #which is much better than sad posting on main #so really if you ever see me being pity fishing or anything like that just give me a slap on the wrist #and also i just got to remind myself that objectively im not the best at anything. like my art or writing #and theres no need to dispute me on that! #everyone always has room to improve :) #and gues this super long goddamn ramble is just me sayin hey im back i am out of my head a little bit #and im gotta do my best to create stuff i enjoya nd hopefully you willl too!! #thank you all so much <33 #sorry for the wall of tags akdhja no one's gonna read this anyway so I'll be in the clear 😌

[takamikeiigos]

Okay I know made an ask already like 2 days ago🙄 but what if hawks s/o had to fake their death on a mission for like a month or 2😮‍💨 and when they come back the first thing they do is look for hawks even though they’re tired, beaten and look like complete shit😩😩 I’m just such a sucker for these kind of tropes !!!

Also how’s ur day been :))

ayo i got you fam!!!

this was legit all i could think of for like 3 days so i hope it's okay!!

Title: "You Came Back to Me"

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (for now)

Relationships: Hawks x Reader

Tags: temporary character death, violence, drinking as a coping mechanism (minor on hawk's part), emesis

Word Count: 2.8k

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3

You look up at the villain who currently has you pinned to the floor, your ragged breaths leaving your mouth with every rise and fall of your chest.

His vibrant green eyes are piercing as they stare down at you, his expression wicked and merciless as he presses his foot harder against your throat as a warning.

"Here are your options, darlin'," he pulls his foot away, instead opting to sit back on his haunches. He brushes your hair from your face and rests his hand on your cheek. It makes you flinch and your breath hitch.

"You either find a way to dissappear, or I'll track down that precious little birdy of yours and take his wings for myself."

○ ○ ○

- three weeks prior -

"Let me come with you. Please."

"Kei.." you say softly as you back the rest of your necessities in your bag, finally turning to look at him.

He's on edge, you can tell by his posture. His wings are drawn tight to his back, but his feathers are puffed out. It reminds you of how hair stands on end and goosebumps make them selves known under fear and stress.

"You know I can't.."

"This is too much for one person to handle." His arms are folded across his chest now as he leans against the doorframe of your shared bedroom.

"You don't think I can handle myself?" The words leave your mouth sounding offended, and he instantly deflates.

"That's not what I meant. If you didn't know what you were doing, you wouldn't be working for one of the top agencies in Japan." Keigo steps forward, now in your space, and you can see a faint trace of fear flicker across his face. "I just.. this man is very dangerous, y/n. And if anything happens.."

"Hey. It'll be okay. It'll only be a month and I'll be home before you know it. I won't let anything happen, I promise." Your hand falls against his cheek and he nuzzles into it, both of his hands coming to rest against your own.

"You promise?" he asks quietly, needing one more confirmation that you'll be home and safe in a couple weeks.

"I promise."

○ ○ ○

"Have you made your mind up, sweetheart?" Kimura, the man who has had the utmost pleasure in beating you within an inch of your life, asks. He slams you against the brick wall of the alleyway one more time for good measure, his hand wrapped firmly around your throat.

"Please.." you gasp out, your hands coming to wrap around his wrist, trying to relieve the pressure against your larynx. "P-please promise me you won't hurt him, that you w-wont lay a hand on him.."

He chuckles darkly, tossing you aside onto the cold, dirty floor of the alleyway.

Your vision is blurring, slowly darkening at the edges, but you manage to see him move a few feet away, bending down to pick something up off the ground. You blink sluggishly and suddenly he's in your space once more, holding the object, which you soon realize is your phone, in your face.

"Go ahead, songbird. Give him one last goodbye."

You cringe at the abuse of the nickname that you hold so dear, but weakly reach out and take your phone from his hand, Hawks' number already dialed.

All you had to do was hit send and that would be it.

You close your eyes and rest your head against the brick wall, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. You can feel tears burning as they make themselves known, clinging to your eyelashes and not yet falling to your cheeks. You blame it on the amount of pain you're in, but you know the true reason is because you're absolutely terrified.

You press send.

As it rings you notice Kimura bringing out his own phone, holding it up and aiming it in your direction.

What a sick bastard.

"Baby bird!" Keigo's voice comes cheerfully from the other line. Though it warms and calms your senses, it still makes you sad knowing that he's completely oblivious to what's about to come.

"H-Hey, Kei.." you try your best to keep your voice steady, but the damage from excessive force to your throat is unforgiving and the words leave your mouth sounding raspy and distant.

"Y/n, where are you?" Keigo's voice drops an octave and you can tell his worry has set in, which was exactly what you wanted to avoid.

"I'm okay, just uh," you pause mid-sentence, your throat tightening around the words as tears threaten to spill again, "just got knocked around a lil bit."

Your laugh comes out bitter. You hate the sound of it.

"Y/n. Tell. Me. Where. You. A-"

"Kei, listen. I need you to know how much I.." your voice betrays you and cracks, and you suddenly find that you can't fight the overwhelming fear and sadness coming over you. You weakly bring a hand up to wipe at your battered cheeks, tears continuing to fall and mix with the grime and blood that covers your skin.

You try again to steel yourself, another deep breath falling from your lips shakily, making your lungs rattle. It's becoming harder each second to keep your eyes open and your mind focused, but if you make it through this one phone call, you know you'll be able to rest easy.

"I need you t'know how much I love you. 'N that everything's g'nna be fine. That you'll be okay. And to not c-"

Suddenly a gunshot rings out and your whole world stands still for a split second, before turning completely sideways.

You register warmth blossoming over your abdomen, spreading and soaking your hero uniform. You can hear Keigo frantically yelling from where your phone slipped from your hand and landed on the concrete next to your head. And the last thing you see is Kimura holstering his gun with one hand, tapping away on his phone with the other.

"What a shitty ending for a hero, don't you think?" Kimura grins down at you.

Yeah. What a shitty ending for a hero.

○ ○ ○

The quiet trickle of water finds its way to your ears, and the feeling of something cold and damp against your forehead is a soothing contrast to how hot your body feels.

Opening your eyes feels as though it takes half of whatever strength you have left, and your vision swims. Suddenly hit with a wave a nausea, you lean over and vomit over the edge of the bed you're laying on. Luckily there's a bucket on the floor, and you assume it was placed there for a reason.

That someone placed it there.

In a panic you sit up, your wounds pulling tight and your body protesting. Your vision swims again and it takes you a few moments to ground yourself.

"Ma'am, please don't move too fast. You'll re-open your wounds and you're already in bad shape," a quiet voice projects throughout the room. You look up and notice an older man, probably in his sixties, sitting in a chair next to the bed you're currently occupying.

"Who are you? Where's Kimura?" You grit out, grabbing the edge of the blankets and tossing them off of you. The man in front of you is ready for your attempt at escape and he places steady hands on your shoulders, pushing you back onto the bed.

"Please! My name is Daichi Tanaka, I am a doctor! I found you in an alleyway near Higashiosaka. I would have taken you to a hospital but you begged me not to," the man pleads, his hands persistent on your shoulders.

You glare at him momentarily, before relaxing back onto the bed, still weary of his intentions.

"Kimura? Is that the name of the person who did this to you?" The man - Tanaka - asks hesitantly.

You ignore his question in favor for asking your own, "How long have I been out?"

Tanaka stares at at you, seeming to contemplate answering, but you figure he finally realizes you aren't taking any shit because his answer comes out with a sigh.

"A little over a week. You've been in and out, your fever finally broke this morning."

Over a week. You've been out for over a week and you don't know where you are, where Kimura went, and where Keigo-

Keigo.

It all comes crashing back to you and you lie back, your hands resting over your eyes.

Tanaka seems to have been reading your mind, because he pulls your phone from the nightstand next to you and passes it over.

"I wiped as much blood from it as I could. You have many new notifications and quite a few missed calls. I wasn't able to unlock it to call anyone, but it seems there are many people worried about you." Tanaka stands then, making his way toward the bedroom door.

"I will give you some privacy for now, but expect me to be back in twenty minutes to check up on you."

With that, Tanaka leaves, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

You stare down at your phone, the screen cracked and a few specs of blood and dirt tucked into its crevices. You type your pin in and pull your notifications up, Keigo's name amongst others filling the screen.

You don't realize you're crying until a small hiccup forces its way from your mouth, your cheeks wet with tears.

You notice a voice-mail from him, and though you know it's only going to make you more upset, you force yourself to open it to make sure he's okay.

His voice floods the room and it immediately breaks your heart at how wrecked he sounds. You can tell he's been crying by how gravelly his voice sounds as the message plays out.

"You know," Keigo laughs bitterly over the phone, "I punched Ryosetsu in the face for letting you go on this mission alone. Gave 'im a real nice shiner on your behalf."

The message goes quiet and you can hear what sounds like a glass bottle being opened in the background, Keigo's quiet sniffles also making themselves known.

"Fuck, y/n. They didnt even.. they didnt even find your body. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that, huh?

"They wouldn't even let me anywhere near the scene, I had to sit back at the office while they kept me informed. He said there was uh.." you assume Keigo pauses to take a swig of whatever he's drinking based off the tink of the glass bottle, "heh, he said there's a low chance you're even alive because there was so much blood. Fuck."

You grimace at how blunt he is with the statement and how distant his voice sounds. You can only hope that he hasn't been drinking as often as your thoughts are telling you.

"Please come back to me," he whimpers over the message, and a new wave of tears fall down your cheeks. "Please.. I can't do this without you."

○ ○ ○

A few days pass.

Tanaka refuses to take any of your shit.

He most definitely refuses to let you leave until you had one more solid meal in you, and one more day of rest.

You're still a little weak, bruises and abrasions littering your skin ( not to mention the nasty bullet wound Tanaka managed to sew up for you ) but you finally have enough strength to stand and walk on your own.

He pleads with you to stay one more day, just to ensure you're strong enough to be by yourself, but you shake your head and bow before him.

"Thank you, Mr. Tanaka, but I have to keep moving. It might be unsafe for you if I stay."

So instead he writes down his phone number on a crumpled piece of paper and hands it to you, patting your hand briefly.

"You're a strong one, just be sure to take care of yourself." He smiles kindly at you, and you nod before taking your leave.

○ ○ ○

Days go by as you hop around from town to town, only stopping for food and rest.

It's been a little over two weeks since you made the decision to distance yourself to ensure the safety of your friends and Keigo, and nearly two months since you were assigned the mission. While you knew faking your death was the only way to keep people from asking too many questions about why you suddenly disappeared, you weren't expecting to actually get shot and almost die.

You keep up with the recent events as best as you can, continuously watching news coverage and especially keeping tabs on Keigo's agency.

Your breath catches in your throat one day while you're moving through a rural seaside town, large red wings and a familiar hero uniform immediately catching your attention.

A flood of emotions run through you and it takes everything in you to not run up to him and hold him. But the fear of Kimura's prying eyes hold you back, and you steadily remind yourself that you're doing this to protect him.

You keep your distance and watch his every move. He's staring down at his phone for a while and after a few moments it rings. He brings it to his ear and though you can't hear what he's saying, it must be something important.

Because soon enough his wings are spread out and he's taking flight into the afternoon sky.

○ ○ ○

'Pro-Hero Hawks makes appearance in. Tanabe - finds lead on hero killer'

'Hanamatsu hero case still under investigation'

'Top Hero Agency in Japan pursuing hero killer - Kimura'

The news headlines on your phone cause your blood to run cold. How foolish of you to think Keigo would let this go so easily.

To think he wouldn't trace every piece of evidence and go to the ends of the earth to take down someone who hurt you.

○ ○ ○

You keep tabs on him as best you can. It begins to feel like you're stalking him, in a weird way, but you'll be damned if you did all of this just to put his safety on the line.

Keigo stays in Tanabe for the time being, the week passing by in a blur as you track his movements.

You figure Kimura went into hiding since his criminal activity fell flat after your encounter with him, but Keigo is as persistent as he's ever been, nitpicking every lead that comes his way.

A few days later word gets out that Kimura has been spotted in the village of Hidakagawa, just thirty minutes northwest of Tanabe.

You only hope you can get there before Keigo does.

○ ○ ○

Hidakagawa is exactly what you pictured, a perfect little town for a low-life criminal to live under the radar.

Its quiet and rural, its occupants living their lives happily tucked away from the bustling life of the city.

A few squad cars rush past you as you look at the map you have pulled up on your phone. It seems a little out of character for such a small town, so you push yourself forward and follow them.

○ ○ ○

When you finally catch up to the squad cars, the scene before you makes your hair stand on end.

Keigo has Kimura pinned to the ground, battered and bruised, his fist closed around a one of his feathers that he's currently wielding as a blade. A few dozen officers surround the scene, guns drawn and on edge.

Kimura smirks up at him and whatever he says is out of earshot, but its enough to piss Keigo off and send him into a frenzy.

"Kei, stop!" You find yourself yelling shakily. You finally manage to push through the barricade of officers and it's then that Keigo makes eye contact with you, his closed fist halted in the air.

Kimura takes the split second of distraction to knock the blade from Keigo's hand, flipping their position so the winged hero is pinned to the floor of the temple. He pulls out his gun and cocks it, pressing it to Keigo's forehead.

All the while Keigo keeps his eyes on you.

"I thought I told you to stay away, little one," Kimura grits out, wiping a trail of blood from his mouth, "Now it looks like your little hawk is about to lose his wings, all because someone can't listen."

You move on impulse when Kimura turns his attention back to Keigo, and you grab the handgun from the officer closest to you.

You waste no time in firing a bullet, hitting Kimura right in the temple. But as it strikes he squeezes the trigger of his own gun on impulse, which is still trained on Keigo, a second round going off.

- to be continued -

tbh i was super nervous to post this bc im so new to the fandom but here we go!!

also i just made up random characters bc im not quite caught up with the manga, and also picked random spots in japan that i know absolutely nothing about

rip to my writing skills lmfao

♡ ky

#im terrified to post this lmaooo #hawks x reader #bnha hawks #mha hawks #mha keigo takami #bnha takami keigo #keigo takami x reader #keigo takami #hawks #ky writes #ky answers #fanfiction #you came back to me

[gilly-bj]

1: This is not a “why Levi will end up with Mikasa”, at all. I’m not trying to boost our confidence in RM because I don’t want us to get hurt again, okay? Fine. Always remember that those 10 pages might be even worse than 139 but we will never stop shipping RM . Always remember the 138 beautiful chapters and ignore the shitty one.

2: looong post. 

3: Constructive hmhmh no criticism to Erem*ka. Now let’s start.

No one ever asked me why I think Levi is the right man for Mikasa (and viceversa); when I interact with non rivamikas, they are too busy hating on me and my ship to show a bit of respect and interest towards my opinions and thoughts. I wrote this post because I think that this question needs to be answered, especially after 139. These are six reasons why I think that Levi deserves to be Mikasa’s man.

(I’m doing Levi version first because Mikasa is the one who’s in a toxic “relationship” with a possessive “man”)

i) He helped her with her development.

Since Season 1, Levi has always helped Mikasa to grow as a person. In fact, Levi was the first one who made her realize that her actions have consequences that sometimes are not very pleasant. She understood that, even if Eren is in danger, the other people around her exist and they might get hurt because of her reckless behaviors. Talking about Eren, only with Levi, Mikasa stopped being Eren’s obsessive mother and became an independent woman, which is exactly the opposite of what she’s now with her “love” Eren. I think that Levi will help Mikasa to move on from Eren once he will return to Paradise, and I also think that she will find someone to love. I remember Armin’s words in 139:

The fact that three years have passed and Mikasa is still single makes me realize that probably this “someone” is a man from her group of friends. They left her alone for three years (clap clap 👏 good job, you too Levi 😒), and she hasn’t fallen in love during those years, so maybe once they will return to Paradise she will meet again this “someone” and they will finally fall in love. Now, we have three candidates for this role:

Jean

Levi

Connie yes im serious

I know that Jean had a crush on Mikasa but, I think that he doesn’t love her anymore. To me, Jean realized that his feelings were not returned so He decided to give up on her, if he had feelings for her, he would have followed her to Paradise, don’t you think? And I think that Jean deserves more; I believe that you shouldn’t wait your crush for years, if you both fall in love then fine but if one of the two as a crush on the other for more than 5 years but the other doesn’t return his/her feelings then the other should say bye 👋🏻

Then we have Levi, and Connie yes I’m serious. I have already said why I think that Levi will help Mika to move on so I repeat myself. And I ship Conkasa 🙃🙂 nahhh im joking but they are cute.

ii) He respects her.

It was confirmed various times trough the story that Levi respects Mikasa, and viceversa. Respect is one of the “rudiments” of a relationship. Yesterday, I was reading this article online about why respect is important in a relationship, and the first point got me in a particular way: 

“1. Respect sees through the good and learns to accept the bad. When you are in love with someone, all you see are their best qualities, both inside and out. At the same time, you set aside their flaws and weaknesses, to tolerate these as much as you can. Respect doesn’t work that way.

When you have respect for the person you chose to be in a relationship with, you come to accept the person’s beauty and flaws, the bitter and sweet, and good and the bad. And from the acceptance, you both learn to adjust to each other’s systems and come up with a compromise that you can live with. Toppled with love, respect serves as the fuel to keep any relationship moving” 

The last part reminds me of Rivamika; Levi and Mikasa both know that the other has his own beauty and flaws, and they accept each other that way. They don’t set those flaws aside to tolerate each other more, they just accept them and they love each other the way they are. With Eren instead, Mikasa has always set aside his flaws because she didn’t want to see them and she always misinterpreted his actions. I want to see an independent woman and not a girl who doesn’t want to accept that her crush is not perfect. Mikasa has to understand that it’s okay if she says “fuck you” for once. Wake up girl.

iii) He cares for her.

Levi has always cared for Mikasa since Season 1, even if I think that in the beginning, he cared for her just as a simple soldier since they didn’t know each other that much. After their first meeting, things changed on Levi’s side and on Mikasa’s as well; she learned to respect him, and Levi started to understand that gloomy brat, to the point that she became special to him; indeed, the way Levi treats Mikasa is very different from the way he treats everyone else, even the other women (Petra, Hisu, Hanji, Sasha) Please my Mika wake up. It’s sad that many think it’s just simple affection because “oh they are cousins he loves her just like a sister bla bla bla”. Sorry to tell you but I don’t have that much tension with my brother 😏😏 and some blind people still say that he hates when he:

Broke his ankle to save her

Always reminds her to calm down and to not be reckless because she can hurt the others but also herself

Always looks at her from afar to check if she’s okay

Literally cried when she was having one of her headaches (138)

Blind people 😏

iiii) He understands her.

Levi understands Mikasa’s feelings; they are very similar, and Mikasa found herself in situations Levi had already lived, from loosing her friends and family to the awakening of their power. And that’s also why Levi plays a big part in her development; remember in Season 1 when Annie kidnapped Eren and Mikasa lost her mind? Okay so when Levi saw her like that, he reminded of his younger self’s reaction to Isabel and Farlan’s death, and that’s why he acted in a soft way towards her; he already knew that in that situation, she wouldn’t have even looked at him if he didn’t act in a soft way. He knew she was lost so he took control of the situation.

Screenshot from: chapter 30.

iiiii) He’s a real man.

In my personal vocabulary, 139 Eren doesn’t fit the definition of man. Someone that treats a woman like that doesn’t deserve to be called “man” (same with women obviously). To me, a man is someone that’s able to respect his lover, that doesn’t treat her like an object and that thinks about her happiness first (that’s literally what love means lmao) (and more). Saying “I want her to be happy” is not enough when he wrapped the scarf around her again, knowing that she was suffering and she was not able to set herself free. If Eren really loved her, he wouldn’t wrapped the scarf around her again. Levi instead fits my definition of “man”, I’d say perfectly. He has always respected her, and he wants the best for Mikasa. He showed to love her, at least platonically, numerous times, he showed care about her physical and mental well-being. I think that Levi could make Mikasa feel loved, what her “lover” Eren has never done since he always treated her badly. Mikasa doesn’t know much about relationships, and Levi too, but with Levi she would understand what a real relationship looks like. And personally, I don’t want Mikasa to end up with someone like 139 Eren.

iiiiii) He his her ideal type and they share the same life goals.

Two months ago, I wrote this post named “How much are Mikasa and Levi compatible?”. There I listed all the reasons why I believe that Levi and Mikasa are each other’s ideal type. I’m not going to repeat myself, so if you want to read it, click here. Anyway, they share the same life goals, that are: a peaceful life in the middle of nature and a family since they both have a soft spot on children.

What do you think? Do you have other reasons why you think that Levi is perfect for Mikasa? I hope you liked this post and feel free to share your opinions!

#gilly bj #rivamika #levimka #levi x mikasa

[goldentsum]

━ jealousy

REQUESTS: (seperately) bokuto, hinata, and akaashi x jealous s/o. say that she isn’t a very jealous person to begin with but there’s another girl who seemed to have taken a liking to the boys and she doesn’t like it. add some angst if you will :) hopefully ends with some fluff. 

🎕 asked by: nonnie 🎕

CHARACTERS: bokuto koutarou, hinata shouyou, and akaashi keiji

GENRE: angst, fluff

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i don’t know if i did it right but D: i’m rlly active rn cus im excited idk why-- also hinata has a lot of dialogue in this one

━ bokuto ♡

bokuto is a jealous baby owl and you know it,, know it too well... he gets pouty if your attention is elsewhere even for a minute!

you, on the other hand, is as cool as a cucumber. well, that what it looks like anyway. 

you get jealous quite a lot, to be honest, but your pride won’t live if you show it so you just try to shrug it off every time

but when kou gets a little too much attention it pisses you the fuck off 

you get snappy and your mood is down for the day but kou is always on his way to make it better~ 

the baby owl may be oblivious but when the topic is about you, he pays attention to your every movement and to what makes you tick

so when someone!! a person you hate because of their flirty attitude and rude remarks gets a little too close to your baby--

oh, it's about to go down!

you’re in the cafeteria sitting on one of the free tables, waiting for your hyperactive baby owl, when you see a certain someone clinging to Bokuto and pressing their chest against his arm

aND WHAT PISSES YOU OFF MORE IS THE OBLIVIOUS SMILE ON BOKUTO’S FACE

you turned around and looked at the juice box you bought for bokuto and grabbed it roughly, stabbing the straw to drink it yourself

you knew how popular bokuto was and how ‘plain’ you were but it still hurt when people never respecting bo’s personal space and your relationship as you two were publicly open with your relationship

akaashi, who was lagging behind bokuto, saw this and quickly rescued the dense captain making a certain someone whines about it but akaashi paid no mind and dragged bo away and towards your table

“hey, babe!” 

you looked at him and rolled your eyes, scoffing a little with the straw still on your mouth as you proceed to ignore him

bokuto’s eyes widen at that and sat closer to you, leaning closer and putting his head on your shoulder, nuzzling at you. 

this usually makes you break but nope, your pride said nope and you ate lunch with bo pouting and whining to you. akaashi who watched the whole scene sighed.

the next time you saw bokuto was at dismissal with him racing to your classroom the moment the bell rang. he went inside when your teacher dismissed you and waited on the side for you even though you were ignoring him. but what slightly shocked you was the serious face he has on. 

when everyone else was gone and you were about to go to, bokuto grabbed your hand and made you stay

“what’s wrong? please talk to me...” He whispered, hugging you close to his body. 

you pouted at that, the gesture cracking your cold demeanor quickly. you sighed and hugged back the sweet boy.

“i’m sorry for ignoring you, kou...” 

you felt his smile on your skin making you smile too

“It’s okay but please explain...” 

his innocent words and eyes made you shy. maybe you overreacted a little bit but your ego is too big sometimes

you averted your eyes and looked at your shoes, bokuto’s arms still around you. 

“cus... you let (h/n) touch you and you were smiling too!” 

you whined a bit, looking up at him. his surprised expression then turned into relief and he started laughing

“who knew you were the jealous type too, (Y/n)!” 

you pouted and hid your face on his chest, 

“shut up... i’m human too, ya know... and you’re not one to talk, you’re the one who always gets jealous..”

“That’s cus my girlfriend is too pretty and too many guys have their eyes on you!”

you scoffed playfully at that, not having the energy to remind bokuto that those guys were just asking for some notes or something to you, knowing well that it would brew into bokuto pulling up his ‘facts’ and arguments on you again that those guys were unto something...

“shut up, you owl”  

“your owl~” 

━ hinata ♡

this small bean is also one of the easily jealous type and he creates a safe and danger distance around you in his mind

there’s only a certain distance a guy can come close to you and if that line gets crossed, he goes pROTECTIVE MODE

tanaka and noya are proud of their pupil as they watch him circle around you like a rabid dog or crow?

he is always with you! ALWAYS! And he always buys you some cold drink or if you don’t bring lunch, he lets you share his bento with the courtesy of his mother as he asks her to make a bigger lunch for him when he knew that you don’t really bring your own lunch.

so when it was lunchtime and hinata was nowhere in sight, that worries you a LOT

you run to the courtyard where you two usually hangs out with kageyama but was surprised to only see Kageyama and his milk box

jogging up to the tall male and you asked him about shoyou and you heard an answer you were not expecting to hear

“some fancy pink letter asked him to go to the rooftop, it said that they wanted to say something to that tangerine” 

(y/n).exe has stopped working

kageyama looked at you with a quirked brow, still sipping on the milk box, he poked you with a curious look

“why did you let him go, you idiot!” you said, surprising kageyama who pouted and glared at you

“why the hell are you yelling? he’s just meeting someone!” 

“you dense blueberry!” you shouted and hit kageyama on the shoulder with a light scowl

kageyama was about to retort when a familiar childish growling caught his attention as you both looked at the side and saw a glaring hinata racing towards you two at a fast rate

“why you kageyama--! don’t get too close to my girlfriends!”

hinata slotted himself between you two and started bickering with the tol blueberry

you sighed at the scene in front of you and a light pink object caught your attention. there it was, a pink chocolate bar in hinata’s hand as he waved it around, trying to punch kageyama. 

you frowned at it and started walking away, leaving kageyama and hinata at the courtyard. hiding from hinata, you ate lunch in the bathroom stall as icky feelings start to grow.

after lunch, you quickly run to your classroom wanting to avoid seeing hinata at the moment 

but luck wasn’t at your side when Hinata dragged you off and got inside the janitor’s closet with you. 

“hinata, what are you doing! lunch is already finished, i’m gonna be late for class!” 

you tried to leave the small room but hinata closed the door when you tried to open it

“no! you left me with kageyama all lunch break!”

“i-i had a stomach ache and went to the nurse’s office--”

“i went there too, you weren’t in there” 

an awkward silence filled the small room while you looked at hinata with surprise

“i-it doesn’t matter--”

“It does matter! If you feel the need to lie to me then it’s a big matter!” hinata said, frowning at you 

you sighed and let hinata hold your hand

“please tell me what’s wrong” 

“i heard you got confessed to”

hinata blew a fuse at that and started waving his hands furiously, “h-how’d you know?! i didn’t accept it, i promise--!” 

“you didn’t?” 

hinata stopped for a moment and looked at you, eyebrows furrowing

“yeah, i got myself the best girlfriend... why would i wanna change that?” 

you went closer to Hinata, letting your body hit his and hugged him

“i-i’m sorry... it’s just that, i thought you would find someone better and leave me...” 

“I WOULD NEVER! You’re the best girlfriend in the whole wide world, (Y/n)!”

“You’re the best boyfriend too, little tangerine” 

━━ akaashi ♡

let’s be real here, you’re definitely the jealous one in the relationship. I mean having a boyfriend who’s too pretty to comprehend and easily attracts a lot of attention can make you like that. but you hide it pretty well, well most of the time anyway...

akaashi always ALWAYS pays attention to you and knows everything that can trigger you to become sad, angry, jealous, and happy

he always makes sure that you’re always fine and happy, that you’re comfortable and content

we stan the perfect boyfie 🥺

bUT he can be quite dense sometimes when it’s not about you or volleyball.. fUKURODANI PPL ARE DENSE 

girls would always flock his classroom before you can get there, snacks and treats in their hands to give it to akaashi and being the petty little gremlin that you are, you were pouty

akaashi sighed because it’s always either you were pouty or bokuto is and sometimes the worst-case scenario happened where both of you are pouty at the sAME TIME! 

akaashi= Mom Daddy

you reached our final form of pouty when you saw a certain someone a bitch dragged akaashi to talk to him or whatever and being the curious thing you are, you followed them and hid behind the vending machine, listening to their convo

“you know, your girlfriend is cheating on you, right?” 

wHY THAT BITCH! She just lied like it’s her common language wtf! 

you prayed that your baby boo won’t believe her cus YOU ARE NOT CHEATING ON HIM! why tf would you cheat on him when you hit the jackpot? tf

“and you must know that spreading rumors and lies about a person can take you off the first string in the track team right?” 

oOF--! YOUR BOYFIE REALLY POPPED OFF HUH

you snickered behind your hands, listening to the lying snake stutter a complain but akaashi cut her off 

“if this is all then I’m going now but if i hear any rumor circling around (y/n), i won’t hesitate to take action myself.” 

the snake scoffed at that and walked away, stomping 

there was silence for a moment but then keiji called out, surprising you

“i know you’re here, (y/n)” 

you stiffened at that and moved away from your hiding spot while coming up with excuses

“i-i wasn’t doing anything! she just dragged you off so i followed--!” 

akaashi smiled softly at you, walking closer and patted your head gently making you feel flustered.

“i know, let’s go? you must be hungry” 

“you won’t leave me for her, right, keiji?” 

akaashi shook his head at your question, a small smile on his face and looked at you, letting his hand fall and held your smaller hand in his

“it’s not like you’ll let me leave”

“HEY! you make it seem like i’m holding you as a hostage or something!”

“hmm”

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto #hinata shoyo x reader #hinata shoyo imagine #hinata shouyou #akaashi #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #akaashi imagine #akaashi keiji x reader #fluff #angst

[rosaliepostsstuff]

Yours truly - epilogue

warnings: food mentions, vague mention of war, a disgustingly sweet happy ending

word count: 2369

a/n: haha! you thought the series was over? well, now it will be. i totally did not cry while writing this, no no. also - i recommend, if you’re reading on desktop, open this on my blog. i recently changed my theme and i think the layout is great for reading.

tags: @izzyyy-1 ; @pandaxnienke ; @messagesinthesky ; @valwritesx ; @pineapplesandpinas ; @sirenswhispers ; @mitsukui ; @4amhotchner ; @theweasleysredhair ; @barneswidow ; @anxxi0s ; @scoobiessnacks ; @unseensilver ; @softlyqoos ; @amourtentiaa ; @anripoot ; @vogueweasley ; @subaehun ; @prismarts ; @harrysweasleys ; @mamawheeze ; @lumos-barnes ; @ickle-ronniekins ; @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11​ ; @dontreallywannabehere ; @28cnn ; @euphorictraveler ; @littlemisswitt ; @onlyfreds ; @latenightmiraclesss ; @weasleygrapes ; @hufflepuffalice ; @slytherclawbitch ; @freddie-weaselbee ; @famdomhideout ; @mollenniumfalcon ; @accioweaslcy ; @lunarlovegoodx ; @weasleysprofessionalhoe ;

series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist form

It felt odd. Exciting and nerve-wracking at once.

You tried to go about your day as usual. Occupying your overthinking mind with last bits of unpacking and tidying your room.

The idea seemed strange to your parents at first, that a friend of yours would come by for a visit the day after you arrived back at home. Which, after a month away, to them was equal to knocking on your door as soon as you closed it behind yourself.

It was the first time you had to have that type of conversation with your parents, naturally, it felt awkward. But when you told them the truth, they were respectful.

The hand of the clock on your bedroom’s wall, right above your desk, was getting dangerously close to 1.

You changed your clothes and put your hair up, just to sit behind your desk, having nothing else to do. That’s when the clock really started racing. It was a few minutes to 1 PM when your mum called from downstairs.

It was like nothing else you’ve felt before. Like meeting someone you know so well, and yet a completely new person.

Of course, you knew Fred from school. Who didn’t, at least from the rumours? And you had been one of the people that were on speaking terms with him, sharing a few classes, some mutual friends.

Fred never seemed like the type of guy that would be into you. You didn’t hold any significant feelings towards him back then, to be bothered by it, it was just a fact. You enjoyed interactions with him, nonetheless. Maybe subconsciously, enjoyed the rare attention received from him. And maybe that was the reason you had agreed to give him your address at the end of last term, instead of telling him to sod off.

Since then, you were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of a different side of him. To fall in love with him.

And how much has he changed. Not only physically, having his hair cut short and growing yet another few centimetres. The biggest change happened inside.

It was better than he could’ve ever imagined. When he felt all those things while still at school, he couldn’t have expected what would come out of it. Nothing he’s ever experienced was quite like this.

At the end of last term when he realised that - caught up in everything that was happening - he hasn’t made any progress with you, he came up with the idea of writing letters throughout the summer on the spot, running to catch up to you in one of the courtyards. Best he hoped for was some banter, maybe getting to know you a little better. Mostly, just making sure you didn’t grow apart throughout those long, two months – or even worse, start dating somebody else - so that he could properly take action as soon as September rolled around. He couldn’t know he’d fall in completely. Or that you’d fall too. And that he’d be welcomed in by your mum at that very moment.

You waited at the top of the stairs. The bannister you held onto could’ve been the only thing keeping you from collapsing once he appeared at the bottom and looked into your eyes. With that damn smile.

You didn’t know what that moment would look like before it happened. In your head, you wanted to hug Fred, hold him, kiss him. You were in love with him - you wanted all that. But you didn’t know if you could, meeting him for the first time. Would you still want that with a person you hadn’t actually developed any physical closeness with?

But once more, his words came useful, as you realised you had worried unnecessarily.

‘Stop overthinking and enjoy the ride, sweetheart.’ – he advised you a while ago.

So when he ran up the stairs your arms outstretched themselves on their own accord, waiting.

“Hi,” you giggled while he wrapped his arms around your waist, picking you up in a tight hug. His emotions exhibited themselves in a spin he gave you. Pressing your face to the crook of his neck, you recognised the scent you knew from his letters before he put you back down.

“Hi,” he replied, finally, pulling away from the hug a bit to look at you once more. His hands still rested on your waist and as he looked into your eyes and both of you thought the same thing. It was the perfect opportunity for a kiss.

Fred swallowed, running his eyes over your face, taking it in.

“Good to finally see you,” he said, standing straight, and you chuckled, letting him know the feeling was mutual.

Seeing Fred Weasley in your room, your personal space, felt odd as well. Once again, the thought of being lucky enough to call yourself his girlfriend (even though the two of you haven’t specified your relationship just yet) appeared in your mind. But he called you that.

And there he was, standing in the middle of your bedroom, looking around. Looking even more handsome than you remembered. You wanted to learn Fred, learn him physically.

He turned back to you and you locked eyes as he caught you with that shy, yet giddy smile on your face. The smile you got back in return made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy. With newfound confidence you stepped closer to him and took his hand, intertwining your fingers together. It fit perfectly, like magic.

“See, that’s the wardrobe door I told you about in the letter, that gave me this battle scar,” you told him, pointing at the piece of furniture first, then the faint mark left on the skin of your arm.

Fred didn’t hesitate to take your arm in his hand and brush his thumb over the scar. Apparently, Fred was very touchy. It was exhilarating, but nice. You could get used to that.

“Seems like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it?” he chuckled. You agreed with him, thinking back to those first few letters you’d exchanged at the beginning of summer. “Oh, that reminds me!” you perked up suddenly. “Make yourself comfortable here, ok? I’ll be just a moment, I have something prepared…” you explained, receiving a nod from Fred, before dashing out the door.

This gave Fred a chance to have a proper look around. He wasn’t invading your privacy since everything he was looking at was out in the open, but it would’ve felt weird, just analysing it in your presence.

Taking a seat by your desk, he could take out much from the objects lying around there. And in the corner of the desktop, sat a pretty box with its lid slightly open. He didn’t want to look, but through the crack, he saw something paper.

“The letters…” he whispered to himself and without further thought slid the box over to himself. There they were, his letters – each and every one of them, placed neatly and chronologically. No one has ever cherished anything received from Fred as much.

“See you helped yourself,” you quipped, having walked into the room with a plate of muffins in your hand. “What if I hid something else in that box? Something real embarrassing?” you asked, walking over to him after placing the tray down on your tea table.

“It wasn’t closed properly, I could see it was letters,” he explained, turning to you. “Unless you’re exchanging letters with some other boys too?” he joked. “You think only boys could be your competition, Weasley?” you swung back, placing your arm at the back of his shoulders with a mischievous smile. “But no, not like with you, I don’t,” you reassured him in the end.

Another moment of meaningful eye contact passed, before Fred changed the topic, noticing the baked goodies. You could watch him stuffing his face for hours.

Still enjoying a muffin, you walked up to one of your cupboards, to retrieve a box with your surprise.

“I’d like to remind you that I’m still very much a beginner with clay so it may be simple, but one day I might make something nicer. If you’ll still want it, of course,” you said, handing him the box. You sat back down on the sofa next to him, with an anxious smile.

He opened the box, revealing a mug, painted with his nickname on the side. His face lit up in a smile. True, it may have been simple, but he could also see the effort you had put into it, and that was enough to melt his heart.

“Do you like it?” you asked in a small voice. “I love it,” he replied simply, still moved by the gesture. He gave you a one-armed hug, still holding the mug in one of his hands – already thinking of using it every day, for as long as it could serve him.

“Ok, let’s not forget,” he began, composing himself, “I promised a surprise for you too.” “You did,” you replied, leaning back against the couch and flashing him a smile.

You watched as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a tiny firework.

“Freddie,” you pleaded, in disbelief of how typical of him that was. “It’s indoor safe, I promise!” he laughed, “I haven’t blown myself up yet, have I?” he asked, looking at you expectantly with his gleaming eyes.

So after a deep sigh, you nodded, allowing him to proceed.

He pulled out his wand and after throwing the firework into the air, lit it up. It was beautiful, golden, pink and white, mesmerising shapes changing constantly. In the end, a sentence appeared, lighting up the whole room, along with your whole world.

Will you be my girlfriend?

“I told you already in the letters how in love with you I am… you said you feel the same. I wanted to make it official,” he said, looking at you now, as the fireworks slowly faded away.

“Yes. Of course,” you answered, positive your heart has melted at the gesture. Your hands reached out a bit awkwardly, unknowing if you wanted to hold his hands or hug him.

Fred leaned close to you and placing his hands on your waist, kissed you.

Was true love really magic’s work, or was Fred just a really good kisser? You couldn’t know that, but you also couldn’t care less as you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck. You just never wanted to kiss anyone else, and kiss only him, for as long as you both shall live.

He was delicate and loving, one of his hands moved to the side of your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb as he kept placing soft pecks on your lips, unable to pull himself away.

“You’re intoxicating,” he muttered against your lips before kissing you on the forehead, then sitting back straight. “I could tell you the same thing,” you replied, dumbfounded.

“I got something else, too…” Fred admitted sheepishly, diving into his pocket once more to retrieve a small box. He opened it in front of you, revealing a bracelet – a dark, simple, aesthetical string with a small shape attached to it. A tiny, silver envelope.

“It’s beautiful, Freddie,” you whispered, brushing your finger over the metal. “I’ve got one too, so if you want-” he began, taking another bracelet out of his pocket, without a box this time, but you didn’t wait for him to finish.

You took your bracelet out of the box and gestured for him to help you tie it, then took his, and tied it around his wrist. You were admiring the view, when Fred interrupted you.

“Want to see something cool?” he asked you with a smirk, then took your bracelet hand in his and you watched the pendant emit a soft, magical glow.

“You really are a romantic, Fred Weasley…” you stated.

“You made me one.”

You’re probably wondering what happened next, dear reader? Very well, I can’t just leave you hanging. After all, it would be a dishonour to cut off this beautiful story of Y/N and Fred’s love like that. And what a beautiful love it was.

That September was the first time the both of them were that happy to get back to school. It allowed them to see each other every day, after all, even if Y/N took quite a few more classes than Fred. They quickly realised what they had was more than just a school romance. They used their last year at Hogwarts to its fullest, before Fred took off with his twin brother and Y/N graduated, according to plan, in June.

The current state of the wizarding world meant Y/N had to put her career plans on hold, but she was happy to help Fred and George in their shop instead.

As Fred had Y/N’s promise, to help him with raising a puppy – they adopted one together, one that they both fell in love with at first sight. The dog later proved to be a valid, contributing member of the Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes.

Their relationship flourished, they complimented each other perfectly, supported each other during the war when they both needed it most.

After Voldemort had been defeated and Y/N got her dream job, she and Fred decided to rent a nice, comfortable flat in London. Just like they planned, they used a lot of their time off from work to travel together – taking their dog with them whenever they could. It was during one of their trips, when Fred proposed to Y/N, with a crazy, elaborate scheme.

They got married in a simple, yet beautiful ceremony, surrounded by loved ones. They had three children – two girls and a boy.

When Fred’s business started doing really well, they moved to a ridiculously charming old house, but in England, so that he could focus on his family more. How did they spend their days? I’m sure you can imagine. And when they retired, their lives slowed down, just a tiny bit.

But Fred Weasley remained a romantic, even as they were both old and grey. And the act of exchanging letters remained special for them, throughout all of their happily ever after.

The end.

#fred weasley series #fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fanfiction

[thedaythealienscame]

(for the ask game!) i wanna know absolutely all of them for tf2 tell me about those guys ❤️(or just as many as you wanna do)

OH BOY! god i can't wait to show you im going to go through the comics to take screenshots of some of the characters so you can see because i LOVE these guys

not everyone is on here because some people just don't fit the categories (😔) but rest assured i love them all, to the point where i need to add. a read more

blorbo: DEFINITELY sniper. partially because he reminds me so much of myself (i'm self-centred) but also because he's the world's most guy. it's kind of because he's a hypocrite, it's kind of because he's got a weird sense of what's normal or not, it's kind of because he still holds his parents' opinion in high regard. all in all. he's my definite fave i love him so much

skrunkly: basic answer here but pyro. i love the way that they're shaped, i love the way that they move during taunts, i love their voicelines where you can barely hear a thing but they still manage to sound like lines taken from the other mercs. i've never wanted a plushie more

soldier also belongs here honestly because he's such a funny guy and is ALSO so shaped. he's very square as opposed to pyro's round, pear-like suit. hes just?? he's hard to describe but he's one of the best characters ever i cannot recommend the comics with him and merasmus enough

scrimblo bimblo: demo. even in the few minutes it takes to watch meet the demoman it is SO clear that he's such a well rounded character and i wish he got more attention. he's beautiful and caring and so full of problems and he can wield a sword like it's nobody's business. he's probably the most down-to-earth merc as well, even though he might not seem like it at first. AND?? HAS SUCH A MESSED UP BACKSTORY FOR HIS EYE??? 10/10 what a guy. objectively the best character right alongside heavy.

gulp shitto: MAGGIE. SAXTON HALE'S EX-GIRLFRIEND <3 we don't ever learn much about her beyond that but she's so??? she's obviously not happy when we first see her in the present but she's got such light in her? very funny, love her to death, and she's very complex for what little we see of her.

poor little meow meow: hard to have an unproblematic fave when we're talking about mercenaries BUT... the administrator. she's the announcer who you hear during the game and meet the spy. she is... just so cunning and mysterious. she's been in almost every single comic and we only know her first name. it's just <3 wow. and while immortality is a classic villain thing, i love how they chose to do it with her.

horse plinko: SPY FOR SURE. not even a solid reason for this, he's just french and pretentious. and while he does have the occasional moment of true good/softness (usually with scout), he's also a bastard. very funny though i'd slap his bald head any day

eeby deeby: also the administrator, but we'll add grey mann to the mix because, while they're fighting each other, um. they still suck! both of them do and i won't say anything against that. AND classic!heavy while we're at it <3

#orion tag #MWAH THANK YOU SO MUCH <3 <3 SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER #asked and answered #aes52hz #image id in alt text

[badwolf-winchester]

Ancient Bloodlines

Pairing: Loki x Emy Nightstar (OC)

OC Summary: Emy is the newest Avenger. She specializes in Magic and close range attacks/ weapons. Her heritage is unknown to her as she was left at an orphanage door step when she was a young girl with only the memory of her name. She goes by her nickname Emy but has never told anyone her full name as its a reminder of her being abandoned. Emy can see through any illusion and Magic no matter how powerful they are or how strong the magic is and is unaware of this. Her powers include Telekinesis, Elemental Control, True Sight (as stated above) Enhanced healing and Shifting (she wont discover this till much later in the story). She loves to read, listen to music, play violin, sing, and draw.

Story Info: Takes place after infinity wars. Tony and Natasha are alive Steven comes back from the future after giving back the infinity stones. Vision is alive and living with Wanda in the tower. Thor and Loki live in the tower with the rest of the Avengers and for the sake of the story Himedall is alive and living with the rest of the Asgardians on earth in New Asgard (you will find out why later)

One last thing: Please do not repost my work on any other site or social media, however reblogging on here is fine. I work hard on all of my fanfics and it’s disappointing when people take my work as their own. I am the creater of all my OCs such as Sora Nightstar, Emy Nightstar, and Lithium Nightstar. My inbox is open for any and all requests as i am a multi fandom writer. Let me know how you like the story and i will do my best to answer any and all questions. As always i encourage any and all feedback as it helps with my writing. I hope you all like it!

The Beginning

They say that your parents are there to teach you the rules of the world, but what happens when you have no parents? Who will teach you then? The world is cruel but people are crueler. Ive learned this first hand when the person i trusted most in this world left me on the door step of the St. Trinity’s Orphanage. I was 9 when my mother told me she didn’t want me anymore and i guess I couldn’t really blame her. I mean who could love someone who couldn’t control the powers that grew with each passing year. Someone who started fires out of thin air when they had nightmares, conjured whirlwinds when startled, unfurled earthquakes when angered, spring forth rain showers when sad, and levitate objects when riddled with anxiety. I will never forget that day for its seared into my mind like its own person brand echoing with every beat of my heart. A monster thats what she called me, her own flesh and blood was a monster in her eyes, and i could see the relief when she ran from the solid oak door finally rid of the burden she had to put up with throughout the years. An abomination she cried as she reached the cobblestone sidewalk eager to be rid of me and by the pace she was going at i could tell she had more spring in her step than on the walk over from the bus we exited from. Unnatural she bellowed as she disappeared around the corner a ghost of a smile springing from her lips as she disappeared. These where the last words i would ever hear from my mother, if thats what you would call her.

Emy’s POV

Tonight was just like any other. Crisp cold air submerged the city in a blanket of dark and silence while it settled into your bones. I never minded the cold in fact I welcomed it, it reminded me of the cabin i found one year after running away from one of the many abusive foster homes i was forced to stay with. I’ll admit it was one of the times I was able to avoid the social workers for longer than a week and the happiest I had ever been in my life up until i was captured by Hydra. When I had a flair up with my powers, which usually ended up being fire, i would immediately get sent back to St. Trinity’s but this time i ran before they had the chance to toss me aside. The staff there used to place bets on how long i would stay with a family, they would joke saying i was cursed or jinxed but i knew the truth, no one wanted me. Once the parents found out about my abilities I was sent packing. I was labeled as a flight risk and a danger to others which only deepened my anti socialism.

Walking through the streets of New York i pull my dark purple jacket on and my dark brown hair in a pony tail as I get closer to my destination. Because i don’t feel the effects of the cold weather Tony, being such the dad figure he is, has made it his priority to make sure i still wear one just incase so here i was walking home in black ripped up jeans, a black v neck T-shirt, black and purple checkered vans and a light weight dark purple jacket. With my headphones in my ears and “I like it heavy” by Halestorm blasting I make my way to the place i call home, Stark Tower. Walking through the front doors i make my way past the receptionist who always greets me with a bright smile. As I walk towards the elevator I give her a small smile back and a head nod. After entering the elevator and pressing the button for the penthouse I start to reflect on how i got here.

By the time i was 15 Hydra found me in that cabin and took me away. I went from hopping from family to family to being used as a science experiment, constantly being poked and prodded just so they could get a reaction out of me. As a child my powers where very unstable mostly flaring up with my emotions, its no wonder that Hydra caught wind of me its not like i was hiding it very well or more so that i couldn’t hide it. They tried to wipe my memory to gain control of me “a blank slate” is what they wanted, but for some reason, they failed as I wasn’t susceptible to their conditioning methods no matter how much time i spent in the chair. However, I could tell they were scared of me I could see it in their eyes. This didn’t last long though as they used what they called their perfect weapon code name Winter Soldier to beat me into submission. After that first meeting that left me with a broken arm and a fractured ankle i started to obey, since then Ive met the Soldier a couple of times but if he remembers me he dosent let on and I dont blame him, he has been in that chair so many times Im genuinely surprised he can even remember how to walk. He is stronger than the others as most of the other test subjects had turned to vegetables after the 4th mind wipe, he was on his 10th the last time i saw him with Hydra.

Another test was done on me and this one was different. They used a teseract? If thats what they called it I can’t be sure nor did I care all I could feel was pain like as if someone injected lava in my veins. After they injected me I started screaming after a while I couldn’t even hear myself anymore, my throat was so sore and horse from the constant roar of my agony I just wanted it to end. How long was I out for? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Days? Years? They didn’t keep clocks there or at least not in the dungeon like cell they had me in. When the fire faded i was left with this numbness and after further tests I realized that I was immune to fire. I can literally stick my hand in fire and i will be left untouched and unscorched. They did the same test with freezing temperatures to see if they could subdue me at least in some way. I must have been out longer than just a couple of days as during the tests i didn’t recognize any of the Doctors. In that moment I realized something, if they were trying to contain me then something must have happened to the soldier. It was time to plan my escape.

Back in my cell i could hear footsteps approaching me and then stop short. One of the scientists frantically trying to talk some sense into someone just out of my line of sight. “She is immune to anything we throw at her sir. We have done every test we could there is nothing left for us to do.” One of the goons in a lab coat stated to what i assumed is a higher up. “Bolden If her powers keep growing at the rate they are it could be days in which she will be unstoppable and with the soldier gone we dont have anything that can keep her in line. She broke Mandy and Rays arms the last time we tested her. She is getting too strong.” Brining a hand up to his chin the higher up Bolden stepped out of the shadows and looked at me with deep interest before he turned to looked at the man and scoffed. As he walked away i felt a cold chill ran down my back as I anticipated what was to become of me; I knew it was nothing good i had already broken their rules. His next words only confirmed what I feared. “ Its simple. Break her spirit or kill her Doctor. And when i say break her i mean in anyway means necessary.” His sadistic laugh is the last thing i remember before everything went black.

Its been 2 years since i have escaped and now I’m living in the avengers tower. I don’t remember what happened after that night in my cell its all a blur of red, screams, and gunshots. When i woke up next i was in a 6ft crater where I was being held captive without a scratch on me. Trees were uprooted and fallen over as if a bomb went off. Luckily the Avengers showed up not long after me waking up and took me to their base where i met Directer Fury. With his permission and 24/7 surveillance provided by Tony Stark via FRIDAY and training sessions to get my powers under control i was allowed to join the Avengers and fight for good. Little did i know that by agreeing to this I would end up in the path of a certain God or Gods who were also taking residence at the tower.

With the sound of a *ding* the elevator shook me out of my mind and back to the present. As i exited the elevator I pulled my head phones out of my ears and was instantly met with the sound of Tony losing his mind. “Where did she go? She knows she can’t be out this late. She could be taken again! Its 5 minutes past her curfew!” Rolling my eyes I roll my headphones up and shove them in my pocket and round the corner. “Tony it takes 5 minutes to get from the lobby to the penthouse calm down. I bet she will walk through that door anytime now.” Came the sweet voice of reason of none other than Pepper Potts. “I’m Home.” I said in a deadpan voice as i walked by the couple only for Tony to stand up and intercept me by placing a hand on my upper arm. “Where did you go and why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?” I looked at him and raised an eyebrow pushing his hand off me. “Tony its Wednesday. I have training with Strange on Wednesdays and I had Friday alert you as I was leaving but you were in the lab with Bruce.” Not sure what to say next Tony mumbled a small apology. “Sorry I was just worried about you. I know you are grown enough to make your own choices as you are 25 but I just want to make sure you are safe. How was the training with The Wizard?” Sighing and shaking my head just wanting to go the library and read I decided to just let it go. “Strange is a hard ass that much you already know. It wasnt bad actually I think I’m warming up to him. I didn’t spontaneously throw him to the wall when he snuck up behind me as i was going over the ancient texts so i call that improvement.” I said sheepishly while side stepping around him. “I’m gonna go to the library now and grab some light reading before bed you guys have a good night.” With out waiting for a response I quickly made my way towards my new destination only to have Tony saying something about guests in the house but I ignored him.

Pushing open the library door I make my way to the poetry section to grab my usual copy of Edgar Allen Poe that I read before bed. As my had reached for the spot i knew i put the book in i find that its not there. “Wait what? Where is my book? I know I put it back here before I left for training so where did it go?” Frustrated I stomp back over to the entrance and rip open the door ready to go on a murder spree while shouting down the hallway. “CLINT! You better give me back my night time book or I’m breaking all your arrows again! No one reads in this tower but me! How stupid do you think I am!?” Straining my ears I listen for any type of movement but was met with dead silence. After a minute I finally hear movement through the vents coming from the west part of the tower and I take off sprinting. Sliding around a corner I barely miss colliding with Steve and Bucky who look like they were on their way back from a mission. Offering a quick apology before I continue my pursuit I hear Steve yell “Hey! No running in the tower!” Not faltering in my hot pursuit of the Hawk thief I continue to zip through the tower ignoring the Captains words until i was almost to the vent that lead to the 2 level family room. Using the railing for the steps leading down to the family area to give me more height i jumped as close to the vent as possible and conjured my signature Scythe to slice through it while twisting in the air kicking the vent free and off its track. A shocked and terrified scream resonates from the vent as the culprit falls to the ground with a thud and a grunt. I landed in a crouched position and slowly straightened to my full hight. “What the hell Emy?! When did you learn to do that?!” Clint yells as he sits up rubbing his left shoulder that he landed on. I started stalking towards him with the blade of my scythe scrapping across the ground as i went while giving him a death glare. “Give me back my book Barton.” At the mention of his last name his head snapped up to me fear replacing the pain from his fall. “Oh shit last name not good.” Scrambling up on his feet he turns and runs towards the common room that connects to the elevator with me hot on his tail and my scythe trailing behind me in my right hand.

“Shit shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!!” He yells as he makes it fully to the room only to fling forward as i jump and kick his back tired of all the running. Twirling my weapon around I place it at his neck sneering at him. “I will not ask you again.” I said placing pressure on his neck with my blade. Sensing a fast moving object coming from my left from the kitchen I move my head back 3 inches as what looked like a hammer flew by me embedding itself in the wall. Turning my head slowly in the direction of the flying object, I confirmed it was indeed a hammer that was thrown at me. Irritation flared through me as i released Clint from the end of my scythe and turned fully to the kitchen to face my attacker. There stood 2 men that i did not recognize, one tall oak of a man with blond short hair, blue eyes and tan skin in blue jeans, a red T-shirt ,and grey jacket. the other shorter man made me stare at him and faultier for a second as he was so different from anyone i have ever seen, dark blue skin covered his entire body with darker almost black symbols and piercing red eyes, long black hair with black jeans, a green dress shirt and black jacket. Tearing my gaze away from his own curious one i looked between both men before i clenched my jaw letting my irritation settle back in. “Which one of you threw that hammer.” I said venom dripping with every word. “Whoa its ok Emy thats just Thor and Loki they are the asgardian Gods that live here in the tower part time when they are not in Norway.” Clint said standing up quickly. Not moving from my position i narrowed my eyes and flicked them over in Clint’s direction. The ground started to shake as my irritation and annoyance grew to anger remembering what i was doing before being interrupted by the Gods. Throwing his hands up in surrender he then quickly reached into his back pocket and retrieved my book. “Ok ok dont blow a fuse Em.” He said while tossing me my possession stopping me from causing an earthquake. Catching it in the air with my left had I inspected the book to make sure it wasn’t damaged before I let go of my scythe, with a wave of my hand it disappeared back to the pocket dimension I keep it in then looked back at Clint as the tremors stopped. “Touch my things again and i will be wearing your guts like my mom’s pashmina.” I said to the thief before walking out of the room and disappeared down the hallway not giving the Gods a second glance. As I entered my room i could hear a silky voice ring out from the kitchen. “Well isnt she interesting.”

Part 2 coming soon

@nickkie1129

#loki x y/n #loki odinson #loki series #loki #loki x reader #loki x you #loki (marvel) #loki laufeyson #marvel #avengers x reader #the avengers #clint barton #tony stark #doctor strange #thor odinson #steve rogers #bucky barns #pepper potts

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Natasha/Andrei brainrot we’re really in it now, aka Natasha/Andrei playlist annotations!

Honestly the age gap is so inherently uncomfortable it’s difficult for me to really ship this but I think in terms of the REALLY low bar of W&P marriages/almost-marriages, it’s one of the better ones because they at least mutually care about each other. It’s also just devastating on principle!

There are several distinct sections of song on here, this is one of the few I’ve actually put in a significant order, so I’m going to break it down into that.

Part 1: Initial Meeting/Falling In Love The First Time/General

Absolutely Smitten - dodie

“She wants to dance around the room, kiss you until her lips turn blue”

This song really reminds me of their first meeting when they’re both like 👀 at each other. I like how it captures the excitement but also nerves of the girl, which I feel like is an important feature of Natasha’s part of the relationship.

Helpless - Philippa Soo

“Tryin' to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom”

Sorry to all the ex-Hamilton stans I jumpscared with this, but it’s about the Philippa Soo Singing About Falling In Love vibe. Also the quoted lyric reminds me of their iconic dance scene, or at least the bits leading up to that.

To Noise Making (Sing) - Hozier

“Honey, the look of it was as sweet as the sound; Your head tilt back, your funny mouth to the clouds”

This reminds me of the scene where she sings for him and he’s like WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH im in love! I paraphrase, but you get the idea.

Golden Years - David Bowie

“Look at that sky, life's begun”

This is objectively the stupidest song on here. It’s here because I think it’s funny to imagine the iconic Natasha/Andrei dance just being the Golden Years dance from A Knight’s Tale, HOWEVER the quoted lyric is in fact Andreicore.

Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You - The Arctic Monkeys

“And I know we got places to go, we got people to see/Think we both oughta put 'em on hold”

‘Wren there are several songs that are on this playlist AND your Andrei/Pierre playlist’ Thank you for noticing it’s because if Tolstoy can recycle the same lines of dialogue for these relationships I can recycle the same songs! This song is just. I Hate Everyone Except You :) which is deeply Andrei @ both of them. But also like wanting life to stop so you can just hang out with Your People.

Strawberry Blond - Mitski

“I love everybody because I love you”

I’m pretty sure someone once pointed out how this lyric fit Andrei/Natasha once in a post and I cannot for the life of me remember who but that made an impression on me. Mystery person, thanks <3 Also I forgot this was a Mitski song??

The Anchor - Bastille

“Bring me some hope by wandering into my mind”

One of Thee things about their relationship that sticks out to me is how Natasha is so lifelike and her very existence gives Andrei hope for the world. It’s so. It’s so much!

Something After All - Starry

“You’ve turned my world around”

Like I said above, falling in love with Natasha really changes Andrei’s entire worldview! I also think “I've spent years building up walls” is very Andrei, and Natasha kind of brought them down, like what happens in the song.

Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

“A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes”

IT’S ABOUT THE SPACE METAPHORS FOR LOVE. THIS IS NO ONE ELSE FROM GREAT COMET’S FAULT.

Cold Cold Man - Saint Motel

“I know I am a cold cold man: quite slow to pay you compliments or public displayed affections”

It’s about being generally not very emotional or expressive but being devoted to the person anyway...very Andrei-ish.

Ophelia - The Lumineers

“I don't feel nothing at all and you can't feel nothing small”

The quoted lyric just seems like a really good summary of their dynamic, but I also think “Heaven help a fool who falls in love” works well for bitter post-elopement vibes, so this song was difficult to place.

Part 2: Andrei Leaving For Abroad

Misbehavin’ - Pentatonix

For some reason this is on both the Nat/Andrei and Natasha playlists and I’m too lazy to change it. Just go look at those annotations.

No One Else - Great Comet

Duh

To a Poet - First Aid Kit

“I got on a plane and flew far away from you, though unwillingly I left”

This song makes me think of Andrei abroad missing Natasha :( Honey you’ve got a big storm coming

Part 3: Post-Elopement Breakup Songs

I Hope Your Husband Dies - Amigo The Devil

“All the distance that we've spent apart will never have to mean a thing”

This song is VERY much Andrei about Anatole. “Now you're with this asshole, you expect me to believe it's going to last” really works because her relationship with Anatole was never going to last, whether or not she knew that. And “I'm not so much afraid of being alone, just kind of feel I've had enough/And time and time again, time reminds me you'll never be my own/We'll never have a house to decorate, a place that we can call our home” as an Andrei thing makes me very sad!!!

Ruins - First Aid Kit

“Ruins, all the things we built assured that they would last”

I think you can safely say their relationship was in ruins after the elopement attempt. I also think “I lost you, didn't I? First I think I lost myself” is something Natasha would think about the whole scenario

Half of My Heart - John Mayer

“Half of my heart's got the right mind to tell you that I can't keep loving you with half of my heart”

I think this is supposed to be more of an “I don’t love you anymore and that’s on me” song, but I like to mentally frame it in the context of Andrei after the elopement refusing to take back Natasha. I also think all the bits about the singer’s love interest changing the singer’s outlook on life before really fits, like “Lonely was the song I sang 'til the day you came, showing me another way”

Love Like Ghosts - Lord Huron

“You don't want me baby please don't lie/Oh but if you're leaving, I gotta know why”

It’s all about the singer being haunted by a love that doesn’t necessarily reciprocate on the same level, and I think that really fits Andrei’s mindset. It breaks my heart to think about him trying to figure out what he did wrong, why he wasn’t enough for Natasha, and so that quoted lyric really makes me just. :(

Cold Day In Heaven - Delta Rae

“Keep thinking bout when we started, so innocent/Your heart was a mess and I was lost in it”

This whole song is so good for them, it’s essentially just a couple being disappointed that their relationship didn’t work out well. The quoted lyric is so. AAAAHHH. because both of their hearts were messes but for different reasons, Andrei was so hopeless and bleak but Natasha was so naive and not ready for it and it’s so. It’s so Much. Also “We watched, the stars fell, and oh you know we let them/We said it’ll never happen, we said it’ll never happen to us/But it’s a cold day in heaven my love” gets me because 1) star/sky references :( and 2) Natasha especially did say it’d never happen to them, she was adamant that she’d love Andrei forever and that uh. I think we all know how well that worked out!

2 Months. - Zach Adkins

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

“I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug”

This is kind of a generic betrayal/breakup/I-miss-you song, but I think it works. Especially with “I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain” and the focus on the singer’s lover getting them through difficult times and then abandoning them.

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

“Take me back to the night we met”

I think people are legally obligated to have this song on any playlist for a couple that doesn’t end well. It’s generic but it’s good! The entire Strange Trails album my BELOVED!

Careless Whisper - George Michael

“I should have known better than to cheat a friend and waste a chance that I'd been given, so I'm never gonna dance again the way I danced with you”

UNIRONICALLY THIS SONG. I think it’s the focus on dancing as like a significant marker of the relationship for me, especially given how heavily adaptations focus on their dance at that ball. The quoted lyric reminds me of Natasha’s mindset after all of this. Also “We could have been so good together, we could have lived this dance forever, but now, who's gonna dance with me? Please stay” reminds me of Natasha asking him to forgive her. Not to actually get sad over Careless Whisper but. :,(

With Or Without You - U2

“And you give yourself away”

The quoted lyric is in reference to the elopement in my head, and “I can’t live with or without you” is like. Andrei can’t continue on and let her back into his life, he admits that he can’t forgive her, but he also has no real will to live after she betrays him and goes off to die in war.

Atlantis - Seafret

“We've built this town on shaky ground”

“This town” is in reference to their relationship, and I like the acknowledgment that there was never a great foundation to begin with. And “maybe I’m not built for love” as an Andrei lyric is a little heartbreaking! Other than that it’s just a Breakup Song.

I Don’t Wanna See You Cryin’ Anymore - Adam Melchor

“I don't wanna be the reason you can't trust me like before/My head's in my hands as I'm shaking on the bathroom floor”

This reminds me of Natasha’s deep guilt over her betrayal of Andrei. The implication that Andrei would ever let anyone see him cry is a bit much for me, just ignore that HFJAHDHSH

Part 4: Reconciling While Andrei ✨Dies✨

Fake It - Bastille

“We can never go back, we can only do our best to recreate”

This whole is song is about trying to move forward from bad things in the past with your lover which is the whole vibe! But I also think it shows some reluctance on the part of the singer to forget, and a bit of a desperation to be able to leave the mistakes in the past. “Help me turn a blind eye” really captures that. I like this as the early stages of them reconnecting, because I think it’s realistic to have Andrei especially be wary but wanting it to get better.

Bad Blood - Bastille

“All this bad blood here, won’t you let it dry?”

Letting go of a grudge and trying to move on vibes!

Let It All Go - Birdy, Alvaro Soler

“We’re strong enough to let it go”

All their hurt surrounding the elopement is the Thing they’re letting go of in this case.

Flaws - Bastille

“You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve and I have always buried them deep beneath the ground”

The quoted lyric just feels like their general dynamic to me. Natasha is so open about everything and does indeed wear her heart on her sleeve whereas Andrei represses every emotion he’s ever felt. I think this is a post-elopement song because of “Dig them up; let’s finish what we started”. That feels like them reexamining their relationship and what went wrong and trying again.

Moscow - Autoheart

“All I need’s a fraction of your happy heart”

This song is so 🥺. “We both know what we’ve got to do: head back to where the magic grew” reminds me of them accepting their reconnection and moving on and trying to rekindle whatever was between them. And “Let’s get a dog, an Irish red setter, it’s all we need to get better” feels emblematic of them looking forward to domestic happiness as the solution. And the quoted lyric screams Andrei about Natasha.

The Heart Is A Muscle - Gang of Youths

“I will look at love as more than just an instrument of pain”

Not to be off topic but this whole album is so good every single song makes me feel SHRIMP EMOTIONS god. Also the whole thing is very Andreicore and I had to stop myself from adding every song to his playlist. But I digress. This song is all about having been hurt by love in the past (“I let bad love betray me once”) but deciding to open your heart again which is very them! “I haven't had enough and I wanna love someone” AAAAHHHH. “I am human now and terrified, but want it all the same” Mr. GangOfYouths im going INSANE! “I just ask you to be patient if you’ll have me still” HELLO? Not to quote the whole song but “I wanna be loved, I wanna be whole again, so tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul again” as an Andrei/Natasha lyric...I need to sit down. Can you all tell this song makes me go all kinds of crazy. And this isn’t even my favorite song off the album!

Shrike - Hozier

“I couldn’t utter my love when it counted, ah but I’m flying like a bird to you now”

This song feels very “we tried to have a relationship a while ago and it didn’t work out that well but I still love you we could try again” to me which fits this time very well!

Part 5: Andrei Goes Splat :( [And The Aftermath]

Work Song - Hozier

“No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her”

I can’t say what it is exactly, but something about persistent love framed around the death motif works for me here.

Dancing After Death - Matt Maeson

“As the sun waits to eclipse and the taste teases my lips, I'm too tired to wrestle with it”

The quoted lyric reminds me of Andrei giving up and shutting down when he realizes he’s gonna die :( oh ALSO my brain always mentally fills in “and no one else” after the “you and I” that ends the chorus which does NOT help with my depression!

One Last Time - Jaymes Young

“Could I feel your skin on mine before I have to say goodbye?”

SCREAMS SO LOUDLY. The whole song is like. Someone dying and wanting to see their person one last time and AAAAAAAAAAA. I am a little incoherent maybe. “I'm leavin' this cold world of mine, no pleadin' is gonna turn back time” really Gets Me in the context of Andrei accepting his own death and withdrawing and it’s so. Anyway.

Oblivion - Bastille

“When oblivion is calling out your name, you always take it further than I ever can”

I don’t think this is exactly what the song is talking about, but the quoted lyric in the context of Andrei dying and Natasha watching him fade and withdraw...good Lord. I need emotional support.

Haunt - Bastille

“I’ll come back to haunt you/Memories will taunt you”

Natasha being haunted by the memory of Andrei!!! Help me!!!! Also “I will try to love you/It’s not like I’m above you” as a callback to Andrei’s feelings for Natasha when they start to reconnect is so mental illness inducing. OOOH and “Questioning why as you look to the sky that is cloudless up above our heads and thoughts come to mind that our short little lives haven't left the path that they will tread” any lyric ever about looking at the sky is Andrei’s now.

Without You - for KING & COUNTRY

“What do you do when you don't get better/Strong arms get too, get too weak to hold her”

:( :( :( :( :( Also “I’m not ready to live without you” I am so sad.

Good Grief - Bastille

“Every minute and every hour I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more”

Pain! Agony, even!

I made myself SO sad writing the entire last half of these annotations geez

#im so sad im so sad im so sad! #war and peace #great comet #natasha rostova #andrei bolkonksy #uhhh whats their ship name? #w&p playlists #my post #figured out how to do a read more bc this post is so LONG

[deathvsthemaiden]

Prince Harry, Prince William, Waver Velvet, Diluc Ragnvindr, Jeremy Fragrence, and Childe (Ajax)....uwa I spelled Diluc's name right on the first go!

THE DISGUST THE VISCERAL DISGUST I AM FEELING AT EXACTLY HALF OF THESE.... ur too good and dependable I LOVE u *sniffles* 😔🤕

Harry:

Yikes full stop. Yikes. || I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? || I Do Not Deserve How Could You Do This? Hmm? Et tu, Brutus? 😐

Ok listen being royalty esp modern royalty immediately cancels out any beauty god gave you in my eyes. All the poetry I wax about how there is something to appreciate in every face and body is null and void here. If we take the Some Guy approach and look at him objectively (impossible but I’ll humor you in the name of love and not being a spoilsport).... nothing I feel nothing. Maybe a whisper of contempt and a little voice in my head going “we should avoid him he’s not going to add to our life.” But that’s. IT.

William:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II I’m Far Too Sane And Pretty For This?

*by this point I am shaking and crying from psychic damage* see above 👆🏽😐

Waver Velvet:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But. I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty (I Suppose) Like If He Floats Your Boat Epic But I Might Not Attend The Wedding || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

his younger self awakens big sister instincts in me meaning he would be SO fun to tease and annoy + root for + naively hope he grows into a fine young man. At that young age he is not yet broken so there is no fixing to be done, but I certainly could help set him straight! Like a bonsai 💚 he’s more sinless and (unintentionally) funny and full of promise than his other selves.

His adult self however awakens the misandrist in me. I wanna come up to him unprovoked and tell him to smile or else bc that’s the only time he’s handsome imo.... also when he has vulnerable moments like being sad the shoes he bought with his first ever paycheck got ruined 🥺 or when he gets all triumphant and carefree ever so once in a while, like in the first ep of Case Files... what I mean is sometimes his prickly hard cranky veneer cracks and I catch a dazzling shimmer of handsome but... not often enough for my liking 😑 for my favored pixelated men I get a genuine kick out of their being disgruntled (sign of true love) but his grumbling just makes me want to file for divorce and we’re not even married 😐 like can you imagine road tripping with this man? I can’t I couldn’t I will not! And omg I don’t think you could make him say stuff like I love you without feeling like you’re pulling teeth... I don’t have the patience to reach that point with him. We’d be so bad for each other and not even in the fun way... his sharp way of dress and penchant for red and long hair and passion for certain subjects are just not enough to salvage him for me, if I want to be subjected to a short tempered man all day I have a father 😩 also he has the kind of sense of responsibility that would doom you if you married him I feel. Like admirable but also what the fuck dude. Taking on all of Kayneth’s debt w/o batting an eye? Mr Velvet what about your hypothetical wife and children.... like I can’t imagine him stopping to think about them in such a scenario... he’d have to marry someone like Melvin (or Melvin himself) who would get a kick out of that brash decision and support him and I’m the wrong dame! He feels like if he had a family and he grew into old age, he would end up one of those foreboding slightly frigid patriarchs w/ short fuses who have hearts of gold but you have to dig so long and hard that by the time you have reached it you’re youth has passed you by and your fingers are worn to the bone and you’re tired... so tired..... you should’ve listened to your mother and married that nice doctor within your ethnic group instead... he’s been a widower for a few years now, hasn’t he? Has a summer home in Vienna and a very nice curly beard? Last time you stalked his FB anyway....

Also his little friend Melvin is hilarious but I could never allow him into my home on the reg. I refuse. Reines is on thin ice and reminds me too much of my sister in some ways... Literally the only person he is oft surrounded by that I would not only be chill with but delighted to have over is Flatt Escardos. Love that wild little man, he’s a brilliant riot. But also a bit of a danger to himself and others I think? Idk I barely read FSF bc the niqabi character design pissed me off to hell and back and then some 😔💔

Diluc Ragnvindr:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II You Absolutely Deserve Him, Bestie 🥺🤲🏽 (heartfelt + sincere)

Oh he’s pretty enough.... like def not an ugly man! But as you yourself often correctly say he’s just Some Guy! When you tell me why you love him I absolutely understand how he captivated you 🥺 but I personally am too wild of heart to be ensnared by so sober (ahaha get it? Bc he owns a tave— whatever nvm v_v)/ and stable a man.

Jeremy Fragrance:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I Could See The Objective Appeal If He Never Opened His Mouth But I’m Too Smart To Be Taken In By Some Conventionally Pretty Features And Some Muscle™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

I scroll past his vids fairly fast the same way I often scroll past spider pics that make it on to my dash despite my best efforts.... when I decide to watch his videos I regret it so much and can barely finish. The way he talks and acts and the things he Just Says sans hesitation make me so uncomfy... so performative and out of touch in the unfun way and aggressive... why isn’t he an actor why couldn’t he be named Jeremy Drama... then I could lie to myself and go it’s okayyy Hiba it isn’t real I’m sure he’s sane behind closed doors 😖 anyway I couldn’t willingly stay in the same room with him for 5 min I COULDNT! I’m v confident our priorities and moral compasses are polar opposites and have you heard the way he talks about women? 🤨 I would honestly. Prefer Patrick Bateman. Not even kidding bc at least that man isn’t real and has successfully made me laugh and gets Big Mad over the dumbest stuff so I can mock him before he kills me. Also I think I could outsmart Bateman but... what does one do with JF other than... keep ur distance. Like I’d never trust either BUT. Yeah.

Childe (Ajax):

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

HES ERRATIC.... IM ERRATIC.... CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUSSSS<3 no but rlly I love a lively straightforward man and he’s got red in his character design + is often pictured with whales? And his galactic themed suit of armor is nice 😳 he’d be fun to hang out with and divorce on grounds so outrageous and absurd we both find it hilarious ✅ like I don’t think I’ll ever love love him esp since all my knowledge of him is second hand but he sounds like a blast 💥

#asks #long post #I had to invent so many new categories for this.... necessity rlly is the cruel stepmother of invention after all #waver is a cactus but I am no desert rose... I need more I hunger for more

[brunotrash]

🩸Diabolik Lovers where everything is the same except I’m the mc🩸

*An: This was just a random idea that I had so like don’t expect it to be serious and yes I’m going to be doing this with More Blood (also if the grammar/spelling is messed up...deal with it <3)*

Ep 1: 

when ayato took the phone I would be like "I'm happy you ain't dead but gimme my damn phone back"

nah if that was me I would be struggling way more and telling him to get off like who he thinks he is pushing up on me and we don't even know each other name

ayato: "you already know I'm about to take you" me: 👁👁💢 take what bitch

instead of pancake he would call me melons or sum cuz I got them big honkers and like I know that but him telling me that would make me so upset and I would call him a perv  

When laito and kanato licked me I would stand up and be like "what's up with yall and licking me plus where did you even come from" 

bruh ion like reiji but I would say "thank you finally someone with sense who isn't obsessed with licking me" 

ayato: "yours truly is going to take her every first experience" me: you have too much nerve

when reiji said the stuff about being impolite I would say "sorry about that but these other guys have been impolite to me and it's just made me feel unwelcome" because I would think he's different than the others  😞💔 oh how wrong I would be

them: talking bout brides and sacrifices me: ion like neither of those options 🧍‍♀️

Laito would not get away with calling me bitch-chan he can use kitten or sum but he ain't calling me no bitch ���✋

please when Subaru broke the phone I would be like "BRO DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" 

me seeing Cordelia "IS THAT THE GRIMM REAPER"

ep 2:

laito: "are you tryna come onto me" me: no you're the one tryna come onto me leave me alone 

I would tell ayato to stop calling me melons and he wouldn't I would already be so done with him and then when he says my opinions don't matter I'll be like "and ur opinions don't matter to me"

reiji: "unless you want a whipping don't try anything reckless" me: a what now 😳

when ayato tells me to make takoyaki I would be like "I don't know how to cook I can barely do myself a grilled cheese sandwich so either do it yourself or teach me" 

I would smack ayato but I would probs still get bitten </3 a for effort at least

me 🤝 Yui: both drowning

ep 3

reiji: "one of these days I will take you aside and discipline you thoroughly understood?" me: oh so u one of them kinky motherfuckers gotcha 

I would tell ayato he got problems on sum sadist shit talking about feel more pain I would be suffering (literally and mentally) 

"No shu I did not come in here to see you naked I just wanna clean myself I'm leaving tell me when u get out" and then he wouldn't let me go 😐

Shu pulling on the hair reminds me of when my momma used to do my hair shit hurt :,)

shu: "think twice before contacting me again" no need to tell me again 

bro I would tell laito "ion belong to no one plus I didn't even consent to be a prize in this game I'm not an object" and he would be like "but you are an object your only purpose is to feed us your blood you will come to realize that soon kitten~"

ep 4

kanato going wild that I got him coffee me: 😟 it's not for all this sir please

nah right when laito's hat got taken off I would have been tryna run but he wouldn't let me go again a for effort. but that whole church scene I would genuinely be terrified and be crying and struggling so hard :,) it would probably turn him on becauses a sick bastard ✋ (I feel like he has a dacryphilia kink but then again what kink doesn't laito have)

ep 5

Yui needs to stop saying sorry but I would just look at kanato like 😟 therapy you need it and that's a factual statement 

my gag reflex would come when kanato kisses me I'm sorry pfft I don't even know why but I feel like it would 

when reiji said he wouldn't make tea for me I would be like "that doesn't seem like good manners to me 🙄"

I would be like "what did you put in the tea this better not be no get out shit"

this is when I would pop off at reiji and be like "you talking about me being impolite for coughing while you put something in my tea that's ruder than anything you damn hypocrite I can't believe I thought you were different"

ep 6

kanato on the edge would make my intrusive thoughts go wild like "what if I just pushed him off and dived out right after him" 🙈 

right when I see the doll room I'm not gon even step one foot in the room and I'm gon run away gives me Annabelle vibes I hate it

I would take up Subaru's offer but I would be like "but yall said I would die if I tried to escape" and when he gave me the knife I would be like "say less sheshhh thanks dude" 

I would threaten laito with my new acquired knife like🔪>:(  but when he says murdering is love to vampires I would be like "shit are you serious if it makes you happy then obviously I don't wanna do it now"

ep 7

me seeing the triplets as lil babies "they look kinda cute but this means that vampires can age but when to they stop aging-" *cue me rethinking the whole vampire lore*

Cordelia yelling at ayato and telling him to be the best "no wonder he's such a narcissist looks like all of yall need therapy and not just kanato"

ep 8

me looking into all the diaboys memories: I thought I had family issues but yall have mega family issues 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

ep 9

me when shu pins me down: OH NAH IM NOT TRYNA RECREATE WHAT HAPPENED IN THE CHURCH WITH LAITO-

"women are terrifying" sir if anything I'm more terrified of u stop sucking my dang blood please

me seeing Richter for the first time: how you a vampire giving off vampire hunter vibes it must be the coat-  

ep 10

"have you become afraid of us now" bro I always was-

sees Cordelia again "oh shit something bad is about to happen ri-" *gets possessed*

as for eps 11 and 12 I had nothing to add lol

#shitpost #self insert #diabolik lovers #diabolik brothers #ayato #laito sakamaki #kanato #shu #diabolik lovers subaru #reiji sakamaki #im going to regret this