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#and also i’ll never forgive my mom for taking my dad’s side when he was the one who m0lested me
avengersfantasies · 7 months
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Anymore - Chapter 3
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Summary: Steve confronts Bucky about his offer.
taglist: @kandis-mom @missvelvetsstuff @mavrellover91 @natashasilverfox @vicmc624 @blackhawkfanatic @haruvalentine4321 @felicitylemon
What to expect: angst
✩ Read the series here ✩
“That wasn’t what I said,” Steve argued with you as you sat in your office.
You refused to look at the soldier – gently spinning back and forth in your chair with your arms crossed. “You’re right,” you agreed. “You didn’t say anything…It should’ve been an obvious answer.”
“How was I supposed to automatically know if I wanted to be in their life or not?”
“Because it’s your baby!” you yelled – getting out of your chair and walking up to him. “How the fuck could you not want to be there?” Steve put his hands out to stop you from coming any closer, but that didn’t stop you. You pushed his hands away and got closer. “A real man would’ve immediately stepped up,” you hissed through your clenched teeth. “Like Bucky offered.”
“H-He what?”
You chuckled incredulously. “Yeah,” you confirmed. “He offered to do what you’re scared of.” Steve was growing angrier by the second. “And of course, I, stupidly, insisted on giving you an opportunity to come around.” Without responding, Steve stormed out of the office – slamming the door behind him and causing the oak door to crack. You jumped at the action. You knew he could be a dick, but you never expected him to act out in any way towards you. “Shit,” you whispered to yourself – grabbing your phone and calling up Bucky. You paced as the line trilled, and after what felt like an eternity, Bucky picked up.
            “Yes, doll?”
“Buck, he’s pissed,” you blurted out. “He’s coming to find you.”
“Let him.”
            You paced in your office as you waited for some word from at least one of the two men. You knew they were both pissed at each other, that they could both beat the life out of the other, but they could also both defend themselves. You didn’t want them hurt. You didn’t want to see Bucky hurt because of you and the baby, and you didn’t want to see Steve hurt because Bucky felt like he needed to stand up for you. Things were definitely over between you and Steve, but you couldn’t deny that there was still a part of you, no matter how small, that cared about him. You loved your baby, obviously, and he was the one who made it with you – even if it wasn’t planned.
            Steve burst into Bucky’s training session – immediately connecting a right hook to his jaw.
            “Think you’re just gonna swoop in and take my job?” Steve yelled at his fellow soldier. “Seriously? What the hell’s wrong with you?”
            Bucky stood still and remained stoic as he spoke. “What’s wrong with me?” he scoffed. “Have you looked at yourself lately?” Steve stayed silent and paced back and forth. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt her? I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
“I fucked up, alright?” Steve admitted. “I’ll own up to that. I know I fucked up, but can’t you see that I’m trying to fix it?”
Bucky chuckled incredulously. “Would you be trying to fix it if a child wasn’t involved? You seemed pretty snuggly with whatever her name is.”
“I don’t know, Buck,” Steve groaned. “This is the situation though, and I’m trying to do what I can to make it better.”
“Maybe you leaving them alone is what will make it better,” Bucky shot back.
“How could you even think I’d do that?”
Bucky scoffed. “You didn’t seem to eager to be a dad in the first place,” he reminded the Captain. “If you’re going to be miserable, then stay away…don’t bring your misery to them.”
Steve looked down and shook his head. “You know how much I want to be a dad, Buck.”
“Which is why I was surprised you didn’t start begging for forgiveness and crawling on your hands and knees back to her.”
Without another word, Bucky walked away from the other soldier – slamming his shoulder into his chest as he passed by – causing Steve to stumble to the side. When Bucky left the training room, Steve walked over to the wall and slid to the floor – leaning his head against the wall. He closed his eyes, and tears finally fell from his eyes.
“What did I do?” he quietly asked himself. “What in the hell have I do—”
            “Baby?” Steve’s girlfriend called out – walking in to find him sitting on the floor. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Steve didn’t look at her – instead, he kept his focus on the ceiling. “You should go,” he suggested flatly.
“What?” she scoffed. “Not happening.”
“That wasn’t a request,” Steve said in the same tone.
“So, what?” she questioned. “We’re over?”
Steve finally looked over at her with the tears in his eyes. “You know…I’m really sick of people putting words into my mouth,” he tsked. “Go home. I’ll come over later and we’ll talk.”
She finally agreed and walked out of the room – making sure he knew her attitude was something he’d have to deal with later.
            “I think he’s starting to use his brain,” Bucky announced as he came back into your office and grabbed some ice from the freezer. Bucky sat down in the chair across from your desk and iced his jaw.
            “What’d he say?”
“He’s acting like he wants to be involved,” Bucky scoffed. “Says he knows he fucked up.”
You nodded. “Well, I won’t keep him from our baby,” you said – helping to make an ice pack for him. “If he wants to be there, then he can be.”
“I think he thinks he wants to be there,” Bucky argued.
You handed him the ice pack. “Maybe a part of me wants to give him that chance.”
“And if he bails?”
“Then I know how he feels,” you shrugged.
“You should know if he’s gonna stick around or not,” Bucky’s words made sense, but you couldn’t fathom how a man wouldn’t want to be in his baby’s life. “I know it’s not something you want to consider, but there’s always a chance he could decide to leave.”
You nodded – knowing that the super soldier was right. Based on Steve’s initial reaction, you knew you had every reason to be afraid of him leaving. “I’ll just make it real simple for him,” you suggested. “He’s either in the baby’s life or not…there’s no going in and out, but as far as he and I go…that relationship is dead.”
“You sure about that?” Bucky asked sympathetically.
You nodded. “Yeah,” you exhaled, “I just want to move on from him. If he wants to be in our baby’s life, then that’s fine, but I want to move on.”
Bucky put the ice pack down and came over to your side of the desk – sitting on the edge and smiling softly down at you. “Do you?”
“I’d like to try to.”
Bucky smiled. “Would you let me take you out to dinner tonight?”
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asordinaryppl · 8 days
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I-Chu Étoile Stage Season 2: Chapter 3, Part 6: Blue Brothers
Eva: I’m… Your brother, you say?
Eva: S-Such a thing is not possible!
Eva: Baber, I was abandoned as a baby.
Eva: How can you, who didn’t even exist in this world when I was born… How can you, who has no way of knowing my face, so easily call me your brother!?
Baber: Baber’s mom said it when she was drunk. She said that Baber has a big bro from a different dad.
Baber: But… She said we’ll probably never meet.
Ban: Why would she say that?
Baber: I don’t know. I asked her, but she was drunk, and never gave me a good answer.
Eva: …
Baber: That’s why Baber searched all over.
Baber: I kept walking to a lot of places, always trying to find my big bro.
Baber: And then, in that orphanage, I found him.
Baber: We have the same eyes, so I understood that’s him. Beautiful, transparent blue eyes. Eyes that match Baber’s.
Seiya: Now that you mention it, you two really do have the same eye color…
Baber: Baber loves his own eyes. Because they match with big bro’s.
Mio: That… That can’t be proof you’re blood related! Doesn’t Seiya also have blue eyes!?
Mio: Why are you saying Eva-sama’s your brother based on that!
Mio: I won’t…
[Mio gets closer to Baber]
Baber: !?
Ban: Mio, don’t hit him!
Mio: I won’t hand Eva-sama over to someone like you! I’m Eva-sama’s family!
Baber: …
Mio: If Eva-sama says he wants to be an Idol, as his Servant I’ll stay by his side and make that come true!
Mio: And yet, you appear out of nowhere… Why have you appeared in front of Eva-sama…
Mio: I don’t… have anyone other than Eva-sama…
Baber: Mio-kun… You know, Baber–
[Mio backs away]
Mio: !? Don’t touch me!
Baber: Ah…
Mio:  Don’t take my Eva-sama…
Mio:  Don’t take my Master away…!
Eva: Mio!
Mio: Eva-sama…?
Eva: That’s enough. I too… am confused with everything suddenly happening.
Eva: Baber. Let us talk about this some other time, after we’ve calmed down.
Eva: So could you let it go for today?
Baber: Hm… I understand.
Mio: Why… Why are you being so kind to that guy? He’s our enemy.
Eva: … He is not our enemy. You understand that, don’t you?
Mio: … I don’t.
Eva: Mio?
Mio: I don’t understand! Eva-sama, I–
Mio: I hate you, Eva-sama!!!
[Mio runs off]
Eva: !?
Ban: Mio!!
[Ban and Seiya run after Mio]
Eva: What did Mio… Tell me just now?
Eva: …Nay, forgive me. The truth is I understand. But accepting it is difficult…
Baber: I’m sorry. This is Baber’s fault…
Eva: It is not your fault. This is a result of my own lack of virtue.
Eva: … I have never felt so shocked in all the time I’ve been alive.
Eva: …
Baber: Eva-sama…
Baber: (Eva-sama looks really sad…)
Baber: (Baber did something he shouldn’t have done again…)
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Just A Phase
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Evan Buckley x Reader 
Warnings: fem!reader, typical high school nonsense, kinda rude behaviour at first meet, mentions of weed/alcohol and the consumption of, typical cocky jock behaviour, few swear words, being tipsy/drunk
Category: fluff and a little angst 
Word Count: 5.4k
Author’s Note: I just started writing and this is where I ended up so yeah also I feel like I haven’t written in a million years, forgive me if this is shitty // I referred to Buck as Evan for the first little bit because he and the reader had been introduced yet. // thank you to my darling @floralbuckleys for their help!
----
Senior Year Of High School. 
 Evan Buckley, certified jock and bad boy. 
He was the type of guy that only had a soft spot for you, but you didn’t know that yet. Truthfully he wasn’t a mean guy - people just perceived him that way because he was on the football team and popular. He had somewhat of a troublesome reputation.
People knew where he went, trouble followed. 
You, on the other hand, came from a somewhat above average family. Your mom’s a nurse and dad’s a lawyer. They always had big hopes and dreams for you, for you to go off to Harvard in the fall and follow in your father’s footsteps but you didn’t want that. 
You dreamt of being a writer - you couldn't bring yourself to tell your parents that. Since you were young, they had instilled “you’re going to go to Harvard” in you. 
You couldn’t back out now. 
See, high school worked a certain way. You kept to your circles and didn’t mingle with those that didn’t fit into your circle. You and Evan didn’t run in the same circle - he was a troublesome jock and you were a smart preppy girl. 
Being the preppy kid meant volunteering where you could to bulk up your college application hence why you were at school on a Friday afternoon, waiting for the kids to show up. You were part of some tutor program that your chemistry teacher put you into. 
It was mostly just kids that needed some clarification on their work and the occasional jock that needed to pass a course to stay on the team.
You weren't surprised when a group of noisy jocks stumbled in the study hall, reeking of sweat from practice.  
You were surprised to see Evan, he hadn't been in there before. 
“Settle down boys” Mrs. Jacobs told them before sending each guy off to a tutor, leaving Evan standing beside her. “You can head over to y/n” she pointed at you, you gave him a small smile when you glanced up. He looked unpleasant, like he didn’t want to be there. 
He made his way over nonetheless. “Good afternoon” you say quietly, unsure if he heard you. He grumbles a hello as he sits down. 
The first few minutes, it was quiet. He sat there flipping through his textbook and scribbling down answers into the notebook in front of him. 
“Is there anything I can help you-” “I'm not stupid.” 
You glance at him, eyes catching his blue ones looking back at you. “I never said you were.” 
“I'm only here because I didn’t turn in my mid term project and now stupid Mr. Jefferson thinks I don't understand this shit” he explains himself. 
You hum, glancing down at the notebook in front of him, pulling it towards you. Reading over the sheet, all the answers were right. A hum of satisfaction slips pass your lips as you slide the notebook back over to him. 
“Not just another dumb jock then.” your eyes study his face after the statement. His lips curl into a small smile, a hum as he turns his attention back to his paper. 
“So prep life must be dull - no parties, all study.” 
“Who says prep kids don't party ?” 
He chuckles, “maybe the lack of prep kids at the parties.” “I’ll have you know, I party plenty, Evan.” 
Once again, he chuckles. “The phrasing of that statement shows that you clearly don’t- but call me Buck, all the guys do.” he slides the notebook over to you. 
“Check this over, I'll be back” you watched as he stepped out of the study hall and disappeared into the hallway. 
A few minutes pass by, you’re tired and in need of a nap but you blink away the tiredness to read his work. There’s a voice behind you and then you feel something heavy on your chair. Leaning back to figure out what it was, the back of your head hit something hard. You shift in your seat and look up to see your head has hit Buck’s torso. 
“How's the work, peach ?” his voice is low, the drop in octave from before causes butterflies in your stomach. 
Your brows furrow at the nickname, he noticed your confusion and glances down at your top and your eyes follow his only to see that your peach colour bra was sticking out from the top of your shirt. 
You had stretched back into your seat when he stepped out and you hadn't noticed the shift in your clothing.
Pulling the top of your shirt back up, he smiles and returns to his seat. You clear your throat, head down and eyes on the work in front of you as you could feel the blush on your face. 
“Um, the work is fine.” 
“Do you have plans tonight ?” 
“No, why?” 
“Come with me to Johnson’s party, you can show me how prep kids party” he smiles, his words are teasing you- taunting you even. “I would, but my parents are out of town so I don’t have the car and I have to watch the house.” 
“The house won’t disappear if you’re gone for a few hours and I'll pick you up then. What’s your address ?” 
“Buck, I really shouldn't” 
“Y/n, come on. Pull the stick out your ass for one night and enjoy senior year. You can go back to Harvard prep tomorrow.” 
His word choice doesn't shock you, it’s quite on brand for him. He’s looking at you, waiting for your answer and you can't help but give in.
Taking the pen from him, you scribble your address and number on his notebook. “See you at 7?” picking your bag up before slinging it over your shoulder. 
“7? Peach, the party doesn’t start ‘till 9. I’ll pick you up at 10:30.” 
“Oh um- okay.” you hum, confused but you agree anyways. 
--- 
10:45 and you were sitting on your couch, glancing at your phone and back to the window. 
You had been stood up once before but to be stood up by a jock, and a popular one ? Will be the death of any social life you had. 
Finally there’s a knock on your door and you get up a little faster than you would have liked but you make your way over. Pulling it open, you met with Buck. 
“Ready ?” 
“Sure, let me grab my phone” you leave the door open, stepping back to the couch. Buck had disappeared from the doorway when you returned, you locked up and followed what looked like headlights to the driveway. 
Buck sat on his bike, he scoots forwards a bit before patting the space behind him. 
“No.” you mumble. 
“What ?” 
“I’m not getting on that thing.” 
“That thing ? I'm offended. Come on, you’ll be fine.” 
“Evan, no.” 
Buck gets up, making his way over to you. His hands grab yours, looking at you now. “Y/n, I promise you that you’ll be fine. Can we go now ?” 
“I’ll kill you if something happens to you” you grumbled as you reluctantly made your way over to the bike. Buck gets on first, you mirror his actions. Your hands were to your side, Buck reached back and wrapped them around his waist. 
“You good back there ?” 
“As good as I could be.”
-- 
The house, who you assumed belonged to Johnson’s parents, (you had no idea who Johnson was because you barely ever went to the football games) reeked of alcohol and weed. 
Your face didn’t hide your displeasure as well as you thought it had. Buck chuckled as he slung his arm over your shoulder. 
“So is this what you do ?” you shout over the loud music, Buck was saying hello to someone he knew and wasn't paying attention to what you had asked him. 
You manage to wiggle your way out of his grip and find your way to the kitchen. It’s a few minutes later that Buck finds you sipping on a beer. 
“You drink ?” he gives you a questionable look with a smile on his face. 
“You brought me to a party so I'll do what people do at a party” you hum, leaning back against the counter. He finds his way to you, leaning back against the counter too. 
“Enjoying the party ?” 
“Not really, you kinda left me to talk to some guy for twenty minutes” 
“That guy happens to be our star quarterback.” 
“I care why?” you glance up at him. Buck’s face is pure amusement, you aren't sure if you’re the cause of that or something else but the way he's looking at you- you can feel the butterflies again. 
“Buck!” a group of guys shout as they make their way into the kitchen. They all say hello to him, some are drinking, some are shoving chips into their mouths. 
You stay quiet while Buck talks to them and judging by their varsity jackets, it was safe to assume that they were on the team with Buck. 
“Who’s your friend ?” a brunette guy asks him, stepping towards you. 
“I’m y/n, you are?” you ask before Buck could. 
“Mike, call me Johnson.” 
“Oh, so this is your place ? Cute house” you give him a smile, he laughs. 
“How do you know Buck?” Johnson asks, he was nosy for a drunk guy. 
“Just bumped into each other, we have class together” you lie, not sure if Buck wanted them to know how you really met, Buck gives you a small smile. 
“You’re pretty, how about a dance ?” his hand grabs yours. 
“Thanks but no thanks” you give a polite smile before pulling your hand away. 
Johnson takes a step forward, his hand reaching out and grabbing your hip. “C’mon, dance with me” you could smell the alcohol on him- he reeked. You push his hand off, “I said no thank you” you tell him once more, being ever so polite. 
“Y/n, c’mon, one dance baby” he takes another step, he’s now face to face with you. Before you could say anything, Buck is in front of you, between you and Johnson. 
“Dude, she said no. Leave her alone.” 
Buck’s sudden need to protect you was much appreciated. Usually if a guy did that, especially a jock, you’d be weird out because they never pay attention to you- but Buck, you had this indescribable feeling, pride, satisfaction, maybe even relief ? 
“She’s not even your girl, why are you protecting her?” 
“Doesn’t matter, she said no so get out of her fucking face.” Buck’s hand was against his chest, pushing him away as his other hand reached back for yours. It would be cheesy to say that your hand fit in his like it was made to be there but it was true. 
Buck’s hand was still in yours as he pulled you out the back door. Your back was up against the wall as he stood in front of you. 
“Are you okay ?” you could hear the concern in his voice - different from his usual tone. 
At a loss for words, his eyes study your face. Johnson was a douche and he knew that, he mentally cursed himself for even bringing you here. 
“Y/n.. talk to me” he takes a step towards you. 
“Buck,” your hand presses against his chest, “I'm fine. It’s not the first time a drunk guy has hit on me” 
A breath of relief slipped past his lips, “do you want to leave?” his face softens when he asks. “No, I'm alright.” 
“Stay here, I'll be back” his hand comes down and squeezes your waist gently before he steps back into the house. 
--
It was a while before Buck returned. He had disappeared into the house for half an hour and when he returned, you were by the pool with a pingpong ball in hand. 
“Suck it!” your loud laugh filled his ears, you took a sip from the red cup in your hand and you watched as the guy across from you drank the beer in the cup that the ball landed in. 
“Looks like you’re having fun” Buck smiles, now beside you. 
“Hey!” you reeked of beer at this point. “I’m having fun” your words come out in a slurred mumble. 
“Mhm okay, I think it’s time to head home” Buck takes the cup from you and sets it down. 
“What ?” Your hand reaches for the cup again, a pout evident on your face.
Buck’s hands finds your waist, hoisting you up and over his shoulder. A louder than expected gasp left your mouth, you felt the cold breeze against your legs as he walked towards the front of the yard. 
He put you down in the backseat of a car but you knew you came with his bike so you were confused, just as you go to ask, he scoots you over and gets in the back with you. Buck’s arm is over your shoulder, you’re so tired that you just lean into him. 
-- 
You had noticed you fell asleep and when you woke, you were on the porch swing at your house with Buck’s hand in your pocket. 
“Whatcha looking for?” he glances up at you when he hears your voice. 
“Keys.” 
“Other pocket” 
He manages to find the keys and get the door open. Getting you in the house was another story. “Y/n, come on” he pulls your hands in an attempt to get you up but you weren’t budging. 
What happened to you being a prep kid and not drinking ? He didn’t even think it was possible to get drunk that fast. 
“No, tired” you mumbles, making yourself comfortable on the porch swing. “Do you want your parents to come home and find you here? I’m cool with leaving you here if that’s the case” Buck teased, he had no idea when your parents were coming home. 
The mention of your parents finding you outside, drunk, horrified you. You got up so quick, you nearly toppled over. Buck helped you inside and onto the couch. He disappeared for a moment and then returned with a glass of water. 
“Small sips” he settles beside you, watching as you take a sip. You hum, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm comes over your shoulder. 
“Buck?” 
“Yeah?” 
He felt your head shift, now looking up at him, eyes full of sleep. You were studying his face, from the birthmark above his eye to his pink lips.
“I really like you, you know” your words filled with sleep as your eyes drooped, you blinked a few times, forcing yourself to stay awake.
Buck chuckles, “that’ll pass peach, I’m just a phase.” He hummed quietly, fingers running through your hair as you drift to sleep. 
--
The Monday after the party, you saw Buck in the hallway after waking up to an empty house on the couch, head pounding even in the deafening silence and and you can’t quite remember how you got home. 
Buck had been radio silence since then but you weren't sure why. He was walking in from the front doors and you were by your locker. You turn to speak to him but he barely glances at you before continuing his conversation with Johnson. 
From that day, you never spoke to Buck again. Last you saw him was graduation day and last you had heard was that he was in college and you were headed off to Harvard. 
----
Present.
You had become a big shot lawyer, everything your parents wanted. Moved out to LA to start your own firm and everything was going well until this morning. 
You had barely walked into the office when the fire alarm went off. The sudden alarm caused an onset of commotion in the office, the woman next to you bumped into you, spilling your hot cup of coffee onto you. 
She mumbled a sorry as she passed but you could feel the heat coming from where the liquid had spilt. Nonetheless, you made your way out, the sound of the sirens from fire trucks blaring. 
Not that you didn’t enjoy seeing the handsome firefighters (or so your co-workers seem to say) but you had a ton of paperwork to do for an upcoming case you had and you barely started. 
You stood by the curb, watching as the firefighters made their way over to the crowd and into the building to clear it. 
“Ma'am ?” A firefighter made his way over to you, there was a helmet in his hand as he passed a hand through his hair. You glance up from your phone, to see what he wanted. 
“May I take a look?” his eyes shifted to your chest where there is currently a coffee stain on your white shirt. “Oh, thank you but no. I’m fine” 
“Are you sure? Because that’ll leave a pretty nasty mark if you don't get it cleaned. If you aren’t comfortable, we have a female medic” he offered, hoping you’d consider. 
“You’re a medic ?” you asked, looking him up and down. He nods, taking a step back. He begins walking back to the ambulance and you follow him. “Do you want me to get her?” 
“No, you’re a professional, it’s cool” you give him a small smile before moving your shirt so he could check. 
The firefighter’s hand was now right under your collarbone, dabbing at your skin with some gauze. His fingers were cold, you weren’t sure if it was actually his fingers or the gloves that were cold but either way you looked at him. 
“What’s your name ?” 
“Diaz, Eddie Diaz” he tells you, flashing you a smile before going back to his job. 
You hum, staying still as Eddie rubs something on your skin. 
That’s when you saw him. 
The same blue eyes, the same blonde hair, the same gorgeous smile that always played in your mind. Not a day went by that you didn’t think of him. You had always wondered what he ended up doing, he was smart and destined for great things, there was more for him than a small life in a place where no one ever really did anything. 
Every guy you had dated, you compared to him. It was always something- they didn’t look like him, they didn’t act like him, they didn’t treat you the way he did, they wouldn't stand up for you like he did. 
He lived rent free in your mind. 
“Ma'am?” Eddie’s voice broke your gaze. “Y/n,” you corrected him, “ma’am is for old women” your eyes going back to Buck. Eddie noticed your lack of attention and followed your gaze. 
“Do you know Buck?” 
“He still lets people call him that ?” you chuckle to yourself, feeling Eddie’s eyes burning a hole into you. 
Before you could answer, his radio buzzed before a voice came through, “building’s clear. Start directing people back in.” Eddie looks over at you, you’re already getting out of the ambulance. 
“Keep that clean and dry” were his last words to you after you left. 
--- 
It wasn’t until you were back in the building that you realized your phone was in the ambulance. 
You were majorly screwed. 
Remembering the medic’s name which was the only thing you remember mids the confusion and seeing Buck after 10+ years. You asked around the office if anyone knew what station responded to the call. You had contacts that worked for the city but the lack of phone made it hard for you to call and find out. 
Finally giving in, you google the medic’s name. There were a few articles that had photos but none of them said anything that helped. There was a video from Taylor Kelly at channel 8 news, some sort of video about the fire station. 
Station 118- that was 10 minutes down the road and you pass it everyday on the way to work. The thoughts began filling your head, had Buck been there all along? 
12 years- 12 long, empty years that you acted like he didn’t exist and that you didn’t want to know what happened between you two but he was right down the road. 
You didn’t even know if you wanted to talk to him. You had finally come to peace with it even though a part of you will always long for what could have been. Feelings aside, you set out to the station to get your phone. 
Upon arriving, there were a few guys by the trucks. You asked for Eddie, assuming that he might have an idea of where your phone ended up or if they even found it. 
“Up the stairs and he should be somewhere up there” the guy pointed, you thanked him before heading towards the stairs. When you got upstairs, it was empty. 
You weren't sure if you should go back down or wait so you sort of awkwardly stood there, glancing around the room. The station was nicer than you had imagined it to be, not that you really had an idea of what to expect. 
Your back was to the kitchen when someone tapped your shoulder. “Can I help you?” his voice called out as you turned. 
Buck. 
You let out a breath, your eyes studying his perfect face for a moment. Do you say something or just pretend like you didn’t know him?
“Yeah, I'm uh- I'm looking for Eddie. I think I left my phone in the ambulance.” 
“Do I know you from somewhere ?” 
“I work at the building down the road, 14th street. You guys were there earlier, hence the phone in the ambulance” you tell him, hoping he drops the topic. 
“Y/n! Hey! What are you doing here?” You see Eddie call from behind Buck. 
Thank god. 
“I left my phone in the ambulance. I figured you’d know what happened to it” you’ve stepped past Buck and towards Eddie now. “I haven’t seen it, but maybe it’s still in there. Come with me, we can check for it” 
Eddie was making his way down the stairs and you were behind him when Buck called your name. 
Not y/n. 
Peach. 
You paused, taking a deep breath in before turning to face him. “I thought I remembered you from somewhere” he smiled, him and his stupid smile. 
“I’m in a rush, Evan. Plus, I'm not in the mood to reminisce.” 
The smile dropped from his face, the guilt crept up on you. The feeling of your stomach twisting, sighing before making your way down to Eddie who was by the ambulance, your phone in hand. 
“There’s more to the story than I thought,” Eddie hands the phone over, you give him a hum and thank him. “Let me walk you out.” he follows you out to your car. 
“You know, whatever he did- he’s changed. He’s a good guy.” Eddie says, his voice sincere. 
“I know, I just- I don't know” 
“What did he do? If I can ask” 
“We were- I don't know what we were. We hung out in high school, just once but he was different from the other guys. He genuinely cared. We went to a party together and he brought me home after. I remember falling asleep with him in the house and the next morning he was gone. Total radio silence that whole weekend and when I saw him at school the following week, he acted like he didn’t know me - it was like that for the rest of senior year. We never spoke after that.” 
Here you were pouring your heart out to a firefighter who you had only met an hour ago who also had seen your bare chest (in a professional way, of course)  on a Tuesday morning in the parking lot. 
“Wow- I can see why you wouldn’t want to talk to him.”
“Yeah, thank you for the phone though. I gotta get back to work” 
“Wait, let me get your number” 
You pause, looking at him with furrowed brows. He seemed confused then he realized how that sounded. “Oh god- no not like that, sorry. I meant maybe we could grab a drink sometimes, as friends and maybe you could tell me more about high school Buck ?” 
“Um- yes to the number and drinks but I don’t know about Buck” you hand the phone back over to him, telling him that you’d text him. 
--- 
It was a while before you heard from Eddie, he said he was off on Saturday if you were up for drinks and weren't busy. The whole team was going out but he invited you along to join them. 
After some back and forth “I couldn't intrude” and “you won’t be, come join us” you finally gave in. 
Now it’s 9pm and you, Eddie and Buck are sitting at a booth. Coincidentally, everyone else was busy. Chimney and Hen who you hadn’t met yet, were with their significant others and kids. So that left the 3 of you together. 
You wanted to walk back out when you saw it was only the two of them but Eddie had seen you and called you over. His phone buzzed just as Buck came back with drinks. 
“Everything okay?” Buck asked his friend, Eddie, still typing away on his phone. “Huh? Yeah, it’s Carla. Chris is running a fever” you could hear the concern in his voice. 
“Chris is your son?” 
“Yeah- I'm sorry I got to go. I’ll make it up to you. Drinks on me another night” Eddie gave your shoulder a squeeze as he stood. 
“No yeah, of course. Go, it’s fine” you smiled. 
“Let me know if you need anything” Buck shifts towards Eddie, the two of them seem to have some sort of routine or way of how things work between them.  
And now there were two. 
Buck sipped on his beer, you sat across from him, your nails tapping against the bottle in front of you. He was the first one to speak.
“So, how have you been?”
“Good. You?”
“Good too. I don’t know if you remember my sister but she had a baby recently so I've been hanging out with her after work”
“Oh, that’s nice. Maddie right?”
“Yeah, she had a little girl. She’s the cutest little girl ever.” Buck pulls his phone out, showing you a photo of him holding a baby in a blanket with a brunette beside him. The woman beside him, Maddie you assumed, was smiling at Buck, fixing the blanket while he looked at the camera, the joy evident on his face.
“She’s adorable and your sister looks the same, she hasn’t aged a day” you hum, passing the phone over to him.
Back to awkward silence.
“What happened to us?” Buck’s question catches you off guard.
“What happened to us? You happened.”
“What? I thought we were friends.” Your eyes met, his full of confusion and yours with displeasure.
“Friends don’t disappear in the middle of the night with no explanation and ignore them for the rest of senior year.” You get up, grab your phone and make your way to the door. Buck’s calling out to you but you don’t want to stop and talk to him.
The night was cold, the wind hit your bare shoulders and you shivered for a moment before walking. Buck was still calling out your name, he had followed you out the bar.
“Y/n! Stop! Y/n, c’mon. Please!” His hand wrapped around your wrist, holding you in place. You pull your hand back.
“No! You don’t get to do that. Act like everything is fine when you disappeared with no explanation. I know we weren’t best friends but I thought we were at least friends. That fucking hurt, Evan.”
“Fine,” he sighs, looking at you. “You want the truth ?” Your brows raised, waiting for him to continue.
“You told me you liked me. You were a good kid, going to Harvard, which you obviously did” gesturing at you, he continued. “I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to be by my side until I figured it out. I knew you would resent me for that and I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t do it to myself.”
“That’s selfish. It’s about you ? That’s why you left with no explanation ? You couldn’t do it to yourself ? Man the fuck up Buck, life isn’t about you.” 
“You think I don’t know that ?! You think I didn’t think about you all the time? That I didn’t miss you?” 
“Don’t start with that shit. You knew where I would be. You said it yourself, I was “a good kid, going to Harvard” so if you really missed me, you could have found me.” 
“Y/n, be real. We were just out of high school, what means did I have to go searching for you? I had my own shit to deal with.” 
“Just stop, I don’t even want to know.” 
“No, you stop” 
“No you.” 
“Y/n” his voice was stern, the annoyance clearly there. 
“Evan.” your tone matched his.
That stupid smug smile of his was on his face, that was enough to make you roll your eyes. “’Kay, I'm over your shit.” turning away from him, you go to walk away but his hand grabs yours. 
Still fit like it was made to be there. 
Before you could register what was happening, Buck’s lips were on yours. Maybe time stopped when Buck’s lips met yours but your heart didn’t- it felt like it was beating a million times seconds and the butterflies in your stomach were restless. 
It wasn't clear to either of you at the moment that it had started pouring rain but it didn’t matter. There was this raw emotion in the way his hands felt on your waist or how his chest was pressed to yours. 
Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t open his eyes slightly, sneaking a guilty peek at you just to make sure you weren’t a fiction of his imagination. Every breath he took smelt of lavender and honey, the same scent that had lingered on his mind since the day he met you. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him, if that was even possible. 
Maybe this was meant to be, fate bringing back what was meant for him to him or maybe this really was all a fabrication of his imagination but he wanted to live in his moment forever. 
It wasn't until thunder rumbled that he pulled away. The rain had soaked your clothes and hair, your makeup had smudged and half of your lipstick was on Buck. 
The same stupid smug smile on his face.
“God,” rolling your eyes at him. “You’re so annoying.” wiping your lips with the back on your hand, hoping that you got all the lipstick off. 
“Yeah, I'm the annoying one” Buck’s face twisted, giving you a playful shove as you stepped towards him. Your thumb comes up to wipe the lipstick off him. Buck’s arm lifts, now over your shoulder. 
The two of you looked at each other as you made your way down the street. 
“Just a phase huh ?” you hum, glancing at Buck. 
The blonde let out a chuckle, “maybe not.” 
--- 
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rosesandfandoms · 3 years
Text
DFel-Arguments:Harry and Eugene.
Here's the other two for Arguments.
HARRY:
    •When Harry gets upset, he gives the silent treatment.
    •Its been almost two years since reaching the Safe Zone, finding a cure, and starting vaccines.
    •Harry's father, Brad, tried to make amends with his son, however, Harry refused to talk to his dad.
    •One day, Brad had showed up to where Y/n and Harry where staying. He had wanted to talk with his sons girlfriend.
    •"How do you think I can reach out to him?" His father asked.
    •"I really don't know, he's been hurt deeply, for a long time, Harry needs time." Y/n spoke softly.
    •Just then, Harry had came out of the shower, asking Y/n if she just wants to order food and watch movies.
    •When he saw his father.
    •"Leave." Harry spoke sternly, cletching his fists at his side.
    •Brad nodded his head before turning and walking away.
    •Y/n turned to face her boyfriend, of whom had a look of disappointment.
    •Harry shook his head before sitting on the couch and turning in the tv.
    •Y/n went to sit on the couch with him.
    •"Harry?" Y/n spoke.
    •Harry stood up and went to the kitchen to get himself some water.
    •When he came back to the living room, Harry sat in the couch on the other side of the room.
    •Smooth, Y/n thought.
    •Remembering that her boyfriend mentioned getting take-out, Y/n ordered his favorite. And while they ate he was still silent.
     •"Harry? Please talk to me," Y/n pleaded, "your father came over, I know how you feel about your father, but I was trying to be civil. I'm sorry he hurt you and your mom, I can't even begin to imagine how much pain you went through."
     •"He could have hurt you too." Harry snapped "what if I let him back in my life and he goes back to his ways? What if you get hurt?"
     •Y/n noticed the tears forming in his beautiful eyes and walked over to him. Taking Harry into her arms.
     •"No matter how many times I try to forgive him, I slowly feel him disappointing me again. He scared me for a long time, still does. I'm afraid that that's my future, that I'm going to end up like him." Harry wrapped his arms around Y/n.
     •"Forgiving is hard, especially when you've and someone you love has been hurt. When you forgive someone, doesn't mean you have to keep that person in your life, it means you forgive them for the greater good, to at times be the bigger person, to use your experience to grow and be a better person, forgiving is a part of healing and growth." Y/n looked up at him, whipping away a tear, "I'm not telling you that you have to forgive him, but it will help you move on and heal."
     •Y/n took him into another hug before continuing, "besides, you'll never end up like him. You're better than he is."
     •Harry kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry for getting upset."
     •"I'm sorry too." Y/n pressed her lips against his, "wanna cuddle?"
     •"How can I say 'no' to that?" Harry smiled at her.
     •The couple spent the rest of the night cuddled in each other's arms.
EUGENE:
    •Y/n and Eugene sat in Eugene's car that was parked in a supermarket parking lot.
    •The radio was slightly turned down as the young couple was going back and forth of what to have for dinner.
    •Y/n wanted Mcdonald's, Eugene wanted Taco Bell.
    • The fight was stupid, but they were hungry and just wanted to go home.
    •"We had McDonald's last time." Eugene argued.
    •"So what? We also always have Taco Bell." Y/n argued back
    •Eugene stayed silent. He hated arguing, especially when both of them were so stubborn.
    •So he began to think of a compromise.
    •Y/n didn't like his silence, "you can't think of anything to say back?"
    •Before Y/n could say anymore, Eugene turned in his set to face her, he cupped her face, tracing her cheek with his thumb.
    •"What?" Y/n asked.
    •"You're so stubborn."  Eugene smirked before pressing his lips against hers in a soft kiss.
    •"Kissing me now to have your way?" Y/n remarked.
    •"If you could listen, I came up with a compromise." Eugene sighed.
    •"How we both can have what we want and be happy, by you getting Taco Bell and me getting McDonald's?"
    •"Great minds think alike." Eugene smiled.
    •So that's what they did, Eugene got Taco Bell and Y/n got McDonald's.
    •"Eugene?" Y/n looked over at him.
    •"Yeah?" Eugene answered keeping his eyes on the road.
    •"I'm sorry for our argument, it's just I was really craving McDonald's, and I started my period before we left, so I'm moody and hungry," Y/n said with tears in her eyes, "and all I want to do is cuddle with you, stuff my face with food, and watch movies, even take a nap."
    •Eugene reached over and held her hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss the back.
    •"Angel, it's okay, I'm sorry too. But hey, now we know we can compromise. And I'd love to cuddle and watch movies when we get back. And I'll give you tummy rubs."
    •When they got back home to eat their food, they even compromised on a movie, the new one they've been wanting to watch.
     •Y/n laid in her boyfriend's arms, her head on his chest, while Eugene rubbed a hand up and down her back. Both shared a blanket.
     •After a couple movies, Eugene realized that his girlfriend had fallen asleep. He smiled softly before bringing the blanket closer to her shoulders. His kissed the top of her head
     •"Sweet dreams." He whispered before falling asleep himself.
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years
Text
If I Fell For You (Part 16) - Drowning
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Summary: The reader’s night goes from bad to awful fast but thankfully Jensen shows up at the last second to stop things from getting any worse. But the guilt the reader feels over trying to end things with Jensen to protect him starts to become too much...
Masterlist
Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader
Word Count: 5,600ish
Warnings: language, being drunk, minor violence, scary situations, angst, fighting, fluff, offscreen death of minor character, anxiety, panic attack, minor injury
A/N: This chapter is a whirlwind! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!
________
It was a close to an hour later and you were halfway through a bottle of bourbon, laying on the back porch of your mom’s house, staring at the rafters and debating finishing off the whole thing.
“Y/N?” you heard. Your skin crawled as you sat up, spotting your father at the other end of the wrap around. “Are you drunk?”
“This would be an appropriate time to tell you that yes, I am and I also have this,” you said, reaching behind your and picking up a hunting rifle. “I might be plastered but I think that’ll only improve my aim. I’ll be nice and shoot for your balls first.”
“You got so much wrong about me kid.”
You fired a shot near his feet and he held up his hands.
“Why don’t you go jump off a bridge or some shit,” you said.
“Y/N.”
You pulled the trigger as he took a step forward and he jumped when it hit the window nearby. You pulled again but it just clicked as he walked closer. 
“Your new momma never taught you that kind of rifle only has two shots, did she,” he said. You tried to stand but got way too dizzy and fell down. 
“Well I can still tear you apart with my teeth,” you said. 
“You’re drunk and judging by your face, very upset. What happened to that boy you were with? I didn’t see him when I looked around.”
“Touch me and that boy will rip your head off.”
“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he said, stepping far too close for your liking. You swung the rifle at him but he caught it and kicked the bottle away before you could get at it. “All grown up. Probably enjoy it now.”
You crawled back as far as you could, eyes darting behind him when you saw movement. You barely caught the brown hair and green eyes before your father was face first on the porch. You tried to stand but he yanked on your ankle and pulled you down hard. It took a long time to peel open your eyes again, your father now at Jensen’s feet. Jensen pushed down on his back while he talked on the phone to someone and it didn’t take long to hear sirens in the distance.
“For the record,” said Jensen as he walked over to you and crouched down, his belt around your father’s wrists, “I didn’t believe you for a second. Oh and you’re a dumbass but you’re my dumbass. Forever. Got it?”
“I couldn’t…” you trailed off. He nodded and took off his flannel, wrapping it over your shoulders. “I knew he would do something and I couldn’t have him near the kids or know they exist. I couldn’t-”
“I know, honey,” he said. “But don’t you dare ever do anything like that again.”
You put your head down sniffled, dizzy still as he rubbed your back before going back to watching your dad.
It took an hour or so before you could go home and you were sober enough to stand on your own. 
“Can I ask why you made the executive decision that you did?” asked Jensen, holding your arm loosely as you got into his car to head back.
“Because I’m stupid,” you said dryly from the passenger seat as he turned on his SUV.
“I mean more so why didn’t you come to me if you were scared? Why make up a lie?”
“You did let me go. You must have believed me at least for a few seconds,” you said.
“No, I actually didn’t.”
“You let me go.”
He was quiet until you got close to the brewery, Jensen pulling off onto the plot of land he owned next to it. You leaned your head against the cold window and he turned off the engine.
“This whole, tired, don’t talk to me attitude right now? Been there. Lived it. I know it’s bullshit.”
“You let me leave so you did believe me so-” you said, Jensen pressing a finger to your lips. 
“I am certain of very few things and you are one of them. I let you go so I could figure out what scared you so badly you’d lie, to me. There’s only one thing I can think of so before you even had a foot out of that house, I was calling people and I got put on with Detective Finn who worked your case as a kid and I find out that dick for brains sack of shit just moved practically down the street from us. It does not take a genius to put the pieces together.”
“Fine! I did it in some stupid attempt to protect you,” you said. You glared at him and he shook his head. “What?”
“I’m not gonna get mad at you.” You put your head back on the window and stared out to the dark trees, sniffling some. “Why do you want me to be angry with you?”
“Uh because I didn’t forget to turn on the washing machine or leave on a light. I lied. I lied so big that-”
“You lied to protect your family from a monster. Do I wish you had told me? Yes. But I fuck up so much and you’ve never once been angry with me for making a mistake and I’ll never be angry with you for making one either. I know you want me to be angry with you, feel like you should be punished for what you imagine is hurting me. But you didn’t hurt me, Y/N. You didn’t and I know you get that because so many times you’ve been on the other side of this and I know you’ve never once thought, oh yeah Jensen’s a piece of shit, let him really have it. No. Just no. So I’m not getting mad at you and I don’t know what to fucking say to make you feel better like you always do me and I’m so sorry he got so close to hurting you again. But I’m really good at fighting monsters in this family. So please next time, I don’t care if you’re scared of the bug on the wall or you think someone’s outside the house or what it is. If you’re scared, tell me and I’ll do my best to make it go away, I promise.”
“What do you do when you want to hate yourself for being an idiot?” you asked quietly. You heard him shift in his seat and you shut your eyes, the sound of a door opening and then another. Strong arms wrapped around you and you buried your face in his chest.
“I try to treat myself as kindly as she does. She would never hate me and she hates when I’m in pain. I see it all over her face. So I try to cut myself some slack and ask myself if she would hate me and when I realize no, I’m forced to forgive myself and it normally takes a few hours but it works pretty good. A lot of hugs and cuddling don’t hurt either.”
“Thank you for stopping him.”
“Don’t.”
“Thank you. I owe you so, so much.”
“You don’t owe me a damn thing. We got each other’s backs and that’s all there is to it. I’m just sad I missed you trying to shoot his dick off.”
“How did you know where to find me?”
“Find my iPhone. Also I figured that was a good place to check,” he said. “I would have been here sooner if Jared didn’t drive like a tortoise over to the house to watch the kids.”
“I’m sorry I scared you...and you had to do that tonight.”
“Oh punching your father was a personal highlight for me. Trust me,” he said. He stroked your cheek and you turned into the touch, eyes squeezing shut. “You’re safe.”
“He’s going to get out on bail and-”
“And we have a very good lawyer. Oh, and I know the mayor so fuck his ass, he’s not getting bail.”
You buried your face once again and he put a finger under your chin, lifting it up.
“You’re still scared.”
“He’s gonna get arrested for what, trespassing? Attempted assault? I was drunk and shot at him. He can spin it. He can spin it and be out on the street like that.”
“I’m going to ask the lawyer to do something else, something that maybe can take care of that problem.”
“What?” 
“Once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit. He’s been gone for fifteen years. I have this bad feeling you weren’t the only one. Or even before that.”
“Or maybe he just hates me.”
“You don’t have to be scared. I’m gonna take care of it.”
“Jensen, I know you don’t have to worry about the money but it might still not be enough.”
“It’s enough,” he said. “Or else next time I’ll be the one with the rifle.”
“You would kill him?”
“Honestly? Yeah if it came to it. I wish people like him died in car crashes, not innocent ones. We have every right to protect ourselves and our family and I’m not letting him touch the kids or you ever.”
“I should probably say that’s bad but I don’t disagree.”
“Money works a lot. A real lot. Maybe he did something super bad and he can rot in prison forever.”
“Maybe,” you said, spotting a cruiser pull up nearby. 
“Stay here, sweetie,” he said. He walked over while the officer got out. He spoke to Jensen for a moment, Jensen’s face a bit blank when he turned around. 
“What’s wrong?”
“Your dad had a heart attack in the backseat,” said Jensen quietly. You cocked your head and he shook his. “Your father. In the police cruiser that was taking him for booking. He was just pronounced.”
“He died?”
“He was really overweight and didn’t look to be in the best health. He probably got his heart rate up too high and...the officer said he’d escort us home, stay outside the house for the night, calm our nerves.”
“He’s really dead?” you asked. You looked over at the officer and he came over, giving you a quick smile. “He really died?”
“Yes mam.”
“What...happens now?” you asked.
“We’ll file the report but you don’t necessarily need to press charges anymore. You’re next of kin as far as we’re aware so the body…” he trailed off when he looked at you. “We can talk about this with your lawyer.”
“Thanks,” said Jensen. “We’ll be on the road in a minute.” 
The officer climbed back in his cruiser, Jensen leaning against the doorframe. He tucked your hair behind your ear, letting out a deep breath.
“Y/N,” he said. He stroked your cheek, your head turning up. “What is it, honey?”
“I don’t feel bad at all. I’m actually happy. That kinda is freaking me out a little. You shouldn’t be happy someone died.”
“Most people you’re right, you shouldn’t. But there are exceptions. He tormented you. He harassed you. He came after our family. I’m gonna sleep just fine tonight knowing he’s never coming back in our lives.”
“Were you scared of him?” He ducked his head down and you took hold of his hand. “Jensen.”
“Put it this way, I’d protect my family by any means necessary. What scares me was what if I was five minutes later tonight. Ten minutes. My job is to protect you and especially from monsters like that.”
“I’m a big girl Jensen. You don’t have to protect me from anything.”
“Yes I do, just like if it were me in your shoes I know you’d have done the same exact thing. We protect each other. It’s not because I’m the guy or I’m stronger. You’re my family and that’s what we do.”
“Thank you for protecting me and forgiving me for being stupid earlier,” you said. He smiled and nodded.
“You’re my dumbass and I’m yours,” he said. “Want to go home now?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”
“He’s really gonna spend the night?” you asked half an hour later in bed, Jensen shutting the door after himself. “He knows there’s a cop outside, right?”
“What can I say, Jared...he thinks of you like a little sister,” he said. “I can’t blame him for being protective.”
“I’ll be right back,” you said. You climbed out of bed and went downstairs, the light dim aside from where Jared was reading on the couch, a blanket over his legs. He looked over the top of the book and set it down, sitting up.
“Everything alright?” he asked. You smiled and took a seat on the edge of the couch, pulling him into a hug. 
“Thanks for staying,” you said, a pair of large arms wrapped around your back. 
“Of course.”
“You do know there’s nobody to bother us now, right?”
“I know. Some peace of mind never hurt anybody though,” he said. “Go on back to your fiance. You guys had a rough night.”
“Yeah,” you said, closing your eyes. “Thanks.”
He kissed your temple and you returned to your room, Jensen pulling you under the covers. You let out a deep breath, turning into his side. 
“Here,” he said. He started to take off his bracelet but you shook your head.
“It’s yours, Jensen. I feel safe, I promise.”
“You’re tense still, honey.”
“Still working on that not being so angry at myself thing,” you said. He smiled and kissed you quickly, laying an arm over your waist. “I know what you said but I still want you to be pissed at me for lying.”
“You didn’t hurt me.”
“But-”
“You didn’t hurt me, Y/N and you know what? Sometimes, you’re gonna hurt me and I’m gonna hurt you. We’ll have bad days and get annoyed with one another. I’ll leave dishes in the sink and make a mess of the closet. You’ll chew with your mouth open and never fill up your car with gas until it’s too low. We’re not perfect. But even if we do hurt each other, we forgive each other because that’s what you do. We’re not always gonna like each other and what we do but we’ll always love each other. I don’t want to be mad at you. I want you to feel safe and know that I understand why you did what you did. I do. Please try to let it go, for me.”
“I am trying,” you said quietly. You shut your eyes and turned away, his arm over you pulling you back against his chest. “You’re normal. I can’t just stop hating myself like that.”
“You think I’m normal?” he chuckled. “Me?”
“Did you ever have to punch Dee’s psycho father? Did you ever have to talk about protecting her? Did she ever put your family in danger? Did she ever-”
“Y/N.”
“Go away,” you said, pushing his arm off of you. You moved over farther on your side of the bed, tucking your covers under your chin. The bed shifted and you tried to move again but his arm pulled you straight back to his chest, fingers dipping under your ribcage and holding you in place. 
“I might not have had to have done those things for her but I would have. For the record, you didn’t put anyone in danger. That fucking asshole did. It is not your fault he was an evil and vile person. All you did was try to protect us because you were scared and I know, I know you didn’t tell me because you’re so scared of that man and I don’t blame you. He made my skin crawl and I interacted with him for all of five minutes. Get it out of your system however you need to but you are stuck with me forever. There is nothing you could do to make me want you gone so get used to it.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” you breathed out. You pulled your sheets over your head, taking deep heaving breaths. “You have so much to worry about already. You shouldn’t have to…”
“Did you think I couldn’t handle the news?” he asked. “That your father was so close by?”
“I thought you’d hate me,” you whispered. He tugged down your sheets and you squeezed your eyes shut as he turned you around.
“Look at me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Now you’re angry.”
“Look at me.” You forced them open, meeting a soft face and sad eyes. “Why would I ever hate you?”
“My shit’s supposed to stay in the past. You don’t…” you said, Jensen furrowing his brow. “See, you’re mad.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Your shit stays in the past.”
“It means you’ve had the world’s worst fucking year and you’re in such a good place now and you need to focus on you and not have my shit come in and fuck that up.”
“Do you think I can’t take care of you?” he asked.
“No of course not.”
“It sounds like you’re saying that you think you can’t have problems cause I can’t handle it.”
“Well at least I got what I wanted with you pissed,” you said, glaring up at him, tears welling in your eyes. You tried to push away but he held his arm around you. “Jensen, let me up.” You pushed again and he glared right back. “Stop it. Let me out of bed.” He only glared and you tore your eyes away from his face. 
“Do you think I’m weak?”
“No,” you said, keeping your head low.
“Then why-”
“Because you need a fucking break. I dealt with this shit years and years ago. I understand needing a fucking break and people need to take care of you, help you. You’re a different man than the one I met way back in January. You’re so happy and healthy and you have a different outlook on life again and that’s incredible. I’m so proud of you for that. But you’re just, just out of the woods and I’m not gonna be the one that sends you back in because of my fucking problems.”
“They’re our fucking problems,” he said. “Our problems. There’s no your problems or my problems anymore. It’s us together. Why do you think I’d hate you?”
“Jensen,” you said, pushing on his chest. “Stop.”
“Why?”
“I said stop!”
“Tell me.”
“Because I’m scared,” you said. He let his hold go lax and you sat up, getting out of bed. You walked over to the balcony door and rested your forehead against the cool glass. The bed creaked and you felt his presence behind you. 
“You’re scared of me.” You scrunched up your face and nodded. “Why?”
“Because if you realized how fucked up I am, you wouldn’t come near me with a ten foot pole. I’m not supposed to cause you problems. I’m supposed to fix them, be there for you.”
“But I can’t be there for you. You assume I’m just a dick where it’s only me and my shit that we can work on right?” he said.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Relationships go both ways, Y/N. I don’t expect you to take care of me for the rest of my life. You are allowed to need help too.”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, you don’t understand,” he said, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. He was frowning, his voice an octave higher if you didn’t know any better. “Do you honestly think I would have been angry at you if you told me about your father being in town? Do you?”
“I put the kids-”
“For the last time, you didn’t put anyone in danger,” he growled. “What is going on with you?”
“How many times do I have to say it, I’m not supposed to cause any problems!” you said.
“Yes you are! You, me, the kids. We’re all gonna have fucking problems sooner or later. Why do you think I’d hate you for telling me you had a problem, sweetheart?”
You fidgeted with the bottom of your shirt, looking past him.
“Something with your dad, isn’t it. Something got triggered in you after that phone call with the detective, didn’t it.”
“Call Ray. Tell him to come over,” you said quietly. He nodded and grabbed his phone, sending off a quick message before he was guiding you to sit on the bed.
“Honey,” he said when you pulled away from him. “Okay, no touching. Can I get you anything while we wait for Ray?”
“Probably should tell that cop that we’re expecting someone,” you said, rubbing your hands against your thighs. “Fuck, tell Ray it’s the help thing. He’ll understand.”
“Okay,” he said with a nod. You rubbed your legs harder and he stared at you. “Y/N.”
“I’m trying not to have a panic attack,” you grit out. “I haven’t had one since I was eight.”
Your head was turned and you felt his hands on your cheeks, Jensen forcing a smile. You stared for a long beat before you took a breath, his head nodding. 
“That feels better,” you said, your hands not rubbing so hard. You heard feet and the door open, glancing behind Jensen to catch Jared in the doorway. You could feel your heart rate pick up, Jared nodding.
“I get panic attacks too,” he said. You nodded and Jensen glanced over his shoulder. “I heard arguing.”
“Can you tell that cop outside Ray is coming by and to let him in?” said Jensen.
“Sure. Who’s Ray?” asked Jared.
“Her mom’s old boyfriend and foster dad. He was her therapist when she was little. Something’s not right,” said Jensen.
“I’ll send him up as soon as he gets here.”
You felt calmer by the time Ray was walking in fifteen minutes later in sweats and not much more. 
“Hey kiddo,” said Ray, giving you a quick hug before he squatted down in front of you. “Doing okay?”
You shook your head and shut your eyes, Jensen holding an arm around you. He explained what happened, Ray staying quiet. You eventually opened your eyes to stare at the floor, Ray standing and pulling over the bench from the end of the bed to sit on. 
“Y/N do you want Jensen to stay?” he asked. You nodded and he hummed. “Y/N.”
“Yes,” you said dryly. “Can I have some water?”
Jensen got up and retrieved a glass from the bathroom, the pair of them watching you chug half of it down before you sat it on the nightstand.
“Y/N, does Jensen know what triggered you?” he asked.
“Not specifically. Asking for help he figured out but not the reason,” you said, looking away. 
“Well on the bright side, you didn’t have a panic attack, you worked through it, you trusted Jensen to help you through it even if he didn’t know why and some of your coping skills helped you out quite a bit. But this is something Jensen needs to know. You’ll need help in a relationship and I know this is the big one but he needs to know so this never happens again,” said Ray. 
“What if he thinks I overreacted?” you said.
“I won’t, trust me,” said Jensen. “Secret’s safe with me.”
“Go on, Y/N,” said Ray. You took a deep breath and Jensen held your hand, stroking his thumb over the back.
“So you kinda figured out that me having a problem was the trigger and that I didn’t ask for your help earlier and kinda assumed a bad reaction if I did.”
“Yup and that’s all okay,” he said softly. 
“It wasn’t because of you that I assumed you’d have a bad reaction. It was something that happened to me that sort of...default my head to react and anticipate things in a certain way in that particular situation.”
“So if you have a problem and ask for help, you assume the person you’re asking for help from will not take it in a good way?” he asked.
“Yeah, basically. If it’s a really big problem and if I anticipate that the problem would upset the person I’m asking then my head assumes this bad thing will happen. In that case, it assumes the much better option is to not reveal the problem at all and handle it myself because then the bad thing won’t happen,” you said.
“The bad thing. It’s bad isn’t it,” he said. “Really bad.”
“Y/N, remember you can share without the graphics involved,” said Ray. You nodded and leaned your head back.
“When I was six I broke something of my dad’s. A mug. His favorite mug. I picked up the pieces but I knew it was his favorite so I didn’t throw it out. I asked him for help putting it back together,” you said. “The amount of rage he had over a broken mug...I never experienced such a horrible day in all eight years as that one.”
He didn’t say anything and you tucked your feet up, holding one up to him and showing the bottom. He stared at it and cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. It took him a moment but you saw when he noticed the small little scars. His eyes flickered back to yours and you nodded.
“He hurt me badly,” you said. “All day long.” He stared at you and you told him exactly the way the scars came to be, Jensen shuddering and closing his eyes. “It wasn’t a good day.”
“Fuck,” he said, standing up and rubbing his arm. “You were six?”
He shook his head and went to the balcony door, taking a deep breath.
“Jensen. You alright?” asked Ray.
“No,” he said, turning around, looking to you. “That many times?”
“One for every broken piece,” you said. He ran his hands over his face and shut his eyes. “The worst thing was just that it went on all day. It was long enough for me to interpret it as conditioning for a result of an event rather than just a bad memory from everything me and Ray worked out back in the day. It hasn’t been a trigger for me ever really but we knew it could be someday for a big life problem potentially. I’m guessing with it involving my dad, it kinda sent me into overdrive earlier.”
“Jensen,” said Ray, shooting you a quick glance. “Y/N’s okay. I’m actually quite impressed with her behavior. There was no hesitancy or waiver in her voice. I don’t feel as though this will likely be an issue ever again now that it’s out in the open and her father is gone.”
“You’re the closest thing to a father she’s ever had,” said Jensen, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know every horrible thing that’s happened to her and, and you just...all you did was throw him out of the country for fifteen years?”
“First off, the law was different back then and it was a lifetime ban. Second of all, buddy, violence isn’t always the answer to violence,” said Ray, getting to his feet.
“You should have adopted her.”
“She didn’t want me to.”
“You were the damn adult. She was the kid. Act like one,” said Jensen. “I mean fuck, you adopted two other kids only a few years later.”
“If I had adopted her you wouldn’t even know she fucking exists,” shot back Ray. “Her father still would have come back and this would have happened regardless.”
“You should have done what you needed to the second he popped up again when she was a teenager.”
“I did not strike you as a violent man but I do not like it.”
“She was almost assaulted by that man again tonight,” growled Jensen. “He tortured her and tormented her and he got barely any time at all for that. I would have-”
“Why’d you call the police then?” he asked. Jensen swallowed and Ray shrugged. “Why back at the farmhouse did you call the police? You could have killed him, called it self-defense and been done with it. Why?”
Jensen looked down and Ray sighed.
“The price for being a good person is making hard decisions, Jensen. Would I have loved to have rid the world of that son of a bitch the second I learned all about him? Oh you don’t know the half of it. I’m a trauma therapist, Jensen. Mostly for kids and teenagers. Do you know how much fucked up shit I’ve heard in my life? The world has so much ugliness in it. But it’s got good too and that’s why you called the police like you were supposed to and that’s why she loves you. She needs a good man, not a violent one. I’m not saying don’t think about protecting your family. But don’t act on it unless you don’t have a fucking choice, kid. Understand me?”
Jensen nodded and Ray cleared his throat.
“Say it.”
“Yes, sir,” said Jensen quietly.
“Ray, don’t get mad at him. He’s not used to this stuff,” you said. You stood and pulled Jensen back to the bed, Ray crossing his arms and nodding. “If I ever feel this happening again, what should I do?”
“You could work on reconditioning instead,” said Ray. “Work on saying I have a problem to Jensen and ask for help, even if there isn’t a problem. If Jensen responds positively or even neutrally and you two work at it maybe an hour or so a day for the next week or two, I don’t think you’ll ever have to be afraid of that trigger coming back. All of your triggers Y/N have involved your father. I know similarities can set you off but they’re small, manageable. You never have to worry about anyone hurting you ever again.”
“I know. I should have trusted my partner to have my back,” you said.
“I don’t blame you. I didn’t before and I definitely don’t now,” said Jensen. Ray smiled and pulled the bench back over to the bed. 
“Get some rest you two,” he said. 
“Ray?” you said after he gave you a hug. “Why didn’t you adopt me?”
“Honestly?” he asked. You nodded, Jensen preening his ears. “You reminded me so much of your mother and I was devastated when we lost her. I should have been the adult and done what was right but after seeing her in pain for years...I didn’t have it in me to take on a grieving teenager that would have been just as angry back at me. She already was so angry then, I would have put fuel on the flames. I didn’t have it in me to be strong anymore and that’s my mistake for not trying.”
“You can adopt adults,” said Jensen. You both looked at him and he smiled. “Adults can be adopted.”
“Not sure if…” trailed off Ray as you smiled at him. “Y/N, we’ve only just started talking again.”
“Maybe if that keeps going well...maybe things could...work out…” you said. “If you wanted.”
“Yeah, maybe we can do that,” he said with a smile. “It’s getting late. Put her to bed. Don’t be surprised if there’s a nightmare or two tonight.”
“Okay. Thank you,” said Jensen as Ray started to leave.
“Take care of her kid,” he said. Jensen nodded and you lay back in bed, the house growing quiet. 
“I’m so sorry,” said Jensen, his head lowering after a few moments. “I should have realized…”
“You did realize,” you said, sitting up. “Even when my head couldn’t come out and say I trust you and I know I’m acting a certain way because of what my dad put me through, you stayed calm and figured it out. You got nothing to be sorry for.”
“I’m sorry he hurt you. I got to pretend to be a cowboy and my dad read me stories when I was six. The worst thing I ever got was a few smacks but I know he regrets doing that,” he said. “Even then it was because I was acting out not…I just don’t understand why he would ever hurt you.”
“I stopped trying to understand him a long time ago,” you said, the door opening. You both turned, Arrow walking in with a pair of wet eyes. “You have a nightmare, sweetie?”
“I went…to the bathroom…” she said when you noticed her holding her wrist. Jensen hopped up and walked over, picking her up gently and setting her beside you. “I fell down off the step stool. It was wet.”
“Tell me what hurts,” he said.
“My hand,” she said. 
“Let daddy see,” you said. She moved her hand back and you both saw her wrist was swollen and bruised. Jensen swore under his breath and guided her hand back on it. “Okay, you hold it if it feels better that way, honey. Daddy, I think Arrow should go to urgent care.”
“Arrow, why don’t you go get your dolly and we’ll bring her with us. We might have to wait a minute,” he said. “Be careful okay? I’ll come get you in just a minute.”
“Mommy?” she asked, staring up at you. 
“Mommy’s really tired-” said Jensen when you stood up.
“Uncle Jared is staying over though, daddy. Go get your dolly and mommy and daddy will get dressed,” you said. She sniffled but climbed down okay, Jensen sighing when she left the room. “She wants me there and I want to be there. I’m going.”
“Alright but you’re going to try and get some sleep in the waiting room at least, please.”
“No promises.”
________
A/N: Read Part 17 here!
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Text
Change of Scenery // Evan Buckley
IN WHICH: Captain Bobby Nash has kept a secret from his friends, his wife and his step children since 2015 when he came to LA. Bobby’s eldest and only surviving child comes to LA to reconcile and make amends all the while she catches the eye of a certain blue eyed firefighter.
Warnings: Swearing, death/familial loss, pregnancy, blood, angst, injuries/medical emergency, and fluff
Words: 8k
A/N: Back at it with another 9-1-1 fic. Hope you enjoy, and I may just have to do another crossover with 9-1-1 and Julie and the Phantoms.
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There are moments in our lives that define us, whether it can be known as a positive or negative, but the outcome is always the same. A six-letter word that strikes fear and excitement into the souls of humans is change. The fear can be for ourselves or as a result of a child, a sibling, or a parent branching out on their own. Unfortunately, you had gone through a harsh and cruel experience on a cold winter night in the city you grew up in.
A typical Thursday filled with classes at the college you attended in Minnesota on a scholarship, nothing out of the ordinary. The plan had been to drive to your parents’ apartment to catch up with them for the weekend. Saturday morning was already reserved for a girls day with your little sister Brook and your mom. In the afternoon, you’d promised to take your brother Bobby to the ball diamond.
Your bag was packed, the plan to drive straight from class to St. Paul the following day to arrive in the daylight. Your dad struggled with worry when it came to you driving in the dark and especially in winter with icy roads.
“Y/N!” Dottie screeched from the living room of the four-bedroom dormitory. The pretty and curvy brunette had been the first friend you made in college.
Typically Dottie was on the quieter side, so when she screamed, you practically sprinted to the girl.
“Where’s the fire?” You demanded with a smirk at the reference to a topic that was a constant in your family. 
The fire drills your father conducted every four months for an exit plan in case of a fire and general information to save yourselves. He had also trained you to remember fire hazards and how to call dispatch with clear information if that time ever came. It never did and hopefully never would.
“The Lakeview Apartments in St. Paul.” Dottie’s dark brown eyes spoke only of pity and concern. The five foot ten roommate literally caught you as you tumbled into her arms with a loud grief-stricken scream.
You were forever indebted to the brunette for the plans she sacrificed to drive you back to St. Paul. There was absolutely no chance Dottie would allow you to both drive and be alone with no news. The media hadn’t released the names of the 148 deaths the fire relentlessly tore from the land of the living.
“I want to prepare you for what you’ll see. Your mother suffered severe third-degree burns over the majority of her body.” The kind nurse, also one of your friend’s parent, explained as she guided you to the Burn Center in the Regions Hospital, “I don’t want to lie and tell you she’ll be fine. You’re an adult Y/N. You deserve the truth and not be coddled.”
“Is she gonna survive?” You quietly asked, “Has she woken up since she was brought in?”
“The doctor placed her on a high dosage of morphine for the pain. Your father hasn’t left her side.” Lucinda informed you with sympathy written as over her face, The hazel eyes unable to adequately meet yours.
“I’ll check on her, then could you take me to the rooms my siblings are in?” You asked, completely unaware Brook and Bobby had been DOA at the hospital.
Your father hadn’t answered the text messages or the voicemails you had left on his phone—radio silent. You couldn’t be mad when he was with your mom, but a text would have been nice.
“This is where your mother is staying for the unforeseeable future. If you need anything, you can call me.” Lucinda softly replied before turning her heel to head back to the Burn Centre’s front desk.
It was horrific walking into a room with no idea if the occupant who had raised you would survive. The confident, gorgeous mother you had for the past nineteen years was unfamiliar to you, the extensive gauze covering nearly every inch of her body. You almost couldn’t even recognize the man sitting in the chair with his hands wrapped. 
“Dad? What happened?” You questioned the grieving man. The only person left in your family as you would soon come to know.
“Y/N?” Bobby gasped, pushing himself to his feet, staring at his only living child. The guilt ate at him just staring at you with those light brown eyes, “Oh, sweetheart.”
Your dad crossed the room in a few steps. The scent of smoke was still clinging to every part of him, but it was fine. Your dad was okay, minus the wounds on his hands. You’d always been closer with your father than your mother.
“Dad, what happened?” You quietly asked the ashamed firefighter that had to reconcile his feelings on the fire and his career—that struggle ending up pushing you away when he really just wanted you as close as possible.
“The building caught on fire after an ember from a heater lit a blanket on fire,” Bobby informed you with his eyes pinned on his wife. Bobby knew the chances of Marcy surviving were incredibly low, and he had to tell you that.
Bobby only knew the details passed on from a firefighter who pitied the man who’d lost most of his family. 
“Is Mom gonna be okay?” You questioned, and the said injured woman in the bed weakly responded.
“Baby?” Marcy quietly questioned from her absolutely still position on the hospital bed, “Uh, Bobby.”
You left your father’s side to be as close to your mom as possible, with the clear plastic separating you for her safety. Your heart shattered at the sheer exhaustion in her pretty blue eyes. 
“Hi, Mom.” You shakily spoke with one hand lightly pressed against the plastic divider. You didn’t even notice when your dad stepped up too.
“Marcy?” Bobby called out from right beside you, just as torn up, but Bobby carried extra weight on his shoulders, “We’re right here, Marcy. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
The muffled grunt of pain, your mom’s attempt to save you from grief, Marcy let out as she turned her head to look at you. You knew deep in your gut that this was the time place you would see your mom alive. And by the look in her eyes, she knew too.
“The...kids…?” Your mom’s breathing became more erratic as she questioned the man she viewed as her hero. The man she believed had saved her and their youngest children, “Where...are they?”
“The kids are fine.” The way your father said it and the tears led to the knowledge once kept from you.
“No.” You whispered, seeing the total grief written clear on his face. The pain meds and agony kept your mom from knowing the truth.
“They’re safe.”
“I knew you’d come and save us.” Your mom breathed as her eyes started hiding the pretty blue you’d now only see in pictures. In your dreams, until even those faded as father time cruelly pulled you along.
Then your worst nightmare happened. You watched as the woman you looked up to flatlined with the thought of her children safe. You’d always know she’d held on just long enough to find out the state of her children. You could only hope she’d forgive your father for lying to her as she died.
“Mom!” You screamed, fighting the arms of an orderly restraining you. You barely noticed the resistance to your frantic attempts.
One minute you were staring at a team unsuccessfully trying to revive your long-gone mother, then you were in a hotel room. The atmosphere tense and quiet between father and daughter, with the ghost of your dead family to keep you both company. You could hear Brook gagging every time you’d kissed your now ex. You could see Bobby toddling after you years ago.
At least you had your father—a father whose guilt festered until he couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“It was my fault.” He murmured, staring at the barely eaten burger that tasted solely just cardboard. He couldn’t bear to look at your face, “I didn’t mean to leave it on.”
Your head snapped to stare at him in disbelief, “What do you mean you didn’t mean to leave it on?”
“I-I went to the roof to sleep after your mom kicked me out. I didn’t have my keys to the apartment I had below ours.” Bobby began spilling the lies he’d told to you about his addictions. Of the apartment, you’d had no clue was even in his possessions.
The pain of losing your family tore into you, “You took my mom away from me. I’ll never get to share my wedding day with her. Shopping for a dress and gossiping about boys. I’ll never be able to wipe Brook’s tears during her first heartbreak.”
Each word broke Bobby more and more.
“You stole my future. You’re selfish, ungrateful and utterly pathetic. You cost so many people so much, all because you sought out your next high.” You spat, glaring at someone you’d never expected to hurt you. You didn’t notice your hands grabbing your possessions nor opening the hotel room door, “You couldn’t even properly try to get clean.”
“Y/N-”
“Get your shit together before you kill anyone else. I never want to see you again.” You sobbed with regret already festering in your body, but pride held you back from apologizing.
Upon your return to your dorm with Dottie by your side, you immediately began the process to enter an exchange program. Within a month, your feet entered Sydney Airport. You didn’t return to America for several years.
You took a job as a casual lifeguard on Bondi Beach, met Lucas in a meet-cute situation at the grocery store. You graduated college and found a job as a paramedic as you began becoming a flight paramedic. In 2020 Lucas and you discovered you’d be bringing in a little baby into the world.
Learning about your little Cashew growing safe in your womb fanned the flame of desire to reconcile. Ultimately the pride kept pushing the urge to apologize for the cruel words you told your father further away. You naively believed you had all the time in the world.  
Remember the six-letter scary word? If losing your mom, siblings, and father was a devastating blow, losing Lucas was nearly tied. Your little Cashew lost their father before they even got to meet him. That was push enough to pack up your home and fly back to America with your father’s new address as soon as you could.
In the fallout of the apartment fire, your father relocated from Minnesota to Los Angeles. 
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Los Angeles, 2020
As soon as you’d found the nicest but cheapest hotel to stay in until you found a place, you walked the streets of LA. The first order of business of approaching your father at his workplace as you had no personal address. Residing still in Minnesota, Deputy Chief Evans had only given you the address of Bobby’s work.
You could only hope Bobby wouldn’t turn you away. That he was willing to bridge the gap, you’d widened over the years. That he could forgive the silence to each email, he sent when you changed numbers.
“We should go out to dinner.” The female voice was what brought you back to the present time. The woman was beautiful with her buzzed head and clear skin.
Right by her side was a dark-haired male of Asian ethnicity with a bag thrown over his shoulder, “If you’re paying, you bet I’ll be there.”
The two continued to converse in their own world until the man had to literally dodge you when they finally noticed you.
“Does Chief Bobby Nash work here?” You inquired, having no desire to enter small talk when the baby was sitting on your bladder again. You nearly retched when the man stared down at your swollen midsection, shocked, “It’s not his baby.”
Hen caught the evident disgust on your face, “He’s in his office. I’ll guide you there…”
“Y/N.” You supplied the firefighter. Hen smiled in response, “And your name is…”
“Henrietta Wilson, but you can call me Hen. That was Howard Han. He goes by Chimney, and I’ve been sworn to secrecy on the name.” Hen chuckled in her steps to the closed door of the fire chief. Hen swiftly knocked on the door to give Bobby a heads up.
“Come in!” Bobby called from his pile of paperwork he had pushed and waited to work on. It had slipped as the date came closer. Your twenty-seventh birthday, the seventh one since he last saw you.
“Cap, a woman is asking for you,” Hen told her friend and boss. It’s a good thing you didn’t choose to surprise your father because Hen was shorted, and your bump made manoeuvring around tricky.
“What can I do…” Bobby trailed off when he saw the girl waiting to talk to him. The pen in his hand dropped to the table in shock.
Hen glanced between the two equally taken aback individuals, “Am I missing something here?”
“Hey, dad.” You whispered to the man who’d been dreaming of this moment since the minute you left. He’d searched for you at your previous college and nearly made a missing person report.
“Dad?” Hen couldn’t pick her jaw up from the floor if she even wanted to because this was juicy information. Sure, Bobby had caved into telling his team, his family that he’d lost his wife and two children in a fire.
He rarely talked about his life before the 118, but he’d never mentioned having a surviving daughter. Not in the handful of times he’d talked about the tragedy, nor did he have any objects or photos of you. 
“You’re really here?” Bobby lightly chuckled with a twinkle in his eye. Hen had only seen a handful of times. All of them had Athena in the scene, “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” You beamed, stepping closer to the man you’d missed dearly, “I’m so sorry for the way I left. What I said was cruel and untrue. You aren’t selfish, and I can’t blame you for something you couldn’t control.”
Bobby grinned. He’d stepped around his desk only to halt when he took in an undeniable development—the baby bump you carried.
“Is-”
“I’m pregnant. Six months along with a baby girl.” You laughed to the apparent disbelief in your father’s light brown eyes. His gaze continued to shift between the bump and your e/c eyes.
“Wow. Sorry, this is...wow.” 
“She’s one of the reasons I wanted to come back. To fix our relationship because I want her to know her grandpa. You’re the only grandparent Poppy will know.” Bobby was quick to tug you into his arms as soon as the first tear dropped down your cheek.
There was so much you wanted to tell your father, but that overwhelming grief rose higher. You’d left Australia where Lucas laid in a plot in a cemetery. You left the friends you’d found in the city. Left the lifeguard job you’d come to love.
“Where are you and your partner staying?”
“He...uh...Lucas passed away recently.”
The arms holding you tightened in response to your confession, “Oh sweetheart.”
“I didn’t know where else to go. I can’t stay in the home we bought. Not the place he died when I couldn’t save him.”
“I don’t know what happened, but it wasn’-”
“Don’t coddle me. I was...am a paramedic. A flight paramedic, to be specific, so I know that my hesitation could be the reason he died.”
Your career took the father by complete and utter surprise because you’d always planned on a different job. Before the fire that claimed so many lives, you’d never entertained a career in the emergency field.
“We have a lot to catch up on. First, you need to know that I’ll always love your mother no matter what, but you need to know. I met someone when I first moved here, and we were friends at first. She divorced her husband. We started dating...sweetheart, I remarried.”
A wave of emotions flared in your chest, from betrayal to sadness and ultimately happiness. Having lost your first love, you understood and knew if love came around for you, you wouldn’t ignore it. Lucas wouldn’t want that.
“I can’t wait to meet her.”
Re-entering into Bobby’s new life was a difficult adjustment for everyone included. Tension had risen between Athena and Bobby for a brief period. Athena hadn’t even been aware of your existence, but she could fault Bobby. Athena had even told her first husband about her late fiance Emmett when they were still together.
It was difficult for you with the new addition of two step-siblings in the same birth order as Brook and Bobby had been. The Grant siblings had welcomed you into the family without any reservations.
“Did you ever get to fly the chopper?” Harry asked as he scrubbed the dirty dish from the Sunday family dinner. 
It was the first dinner that had no awkward tension since you arrived back in the country. Athena had taken a bit to warm up, but it was nothing personal. She’d actually been the one to find you you’d been staying at a hotel. Mama Athena did not like her pregnant step-daughter living at a hotel. She’d actually stormed your room with Hen and Karen as back up to pack your room and leave for the Grant-Nash house.
“No. I had to help keep the patients alive. If I’m telling the truth...sometimes I didn’t even notice I was in the air.” You whispered to your stepbrother. He was just invested in your career as he had been when Bobby first entered their lives.
“That is so cool!” Harry enthused with soap suds splashing your thin knitted sweater. Harry’s mouth formed an ‘o’ when you flicked water onto his face in retaliation.
“Do you know Bondi Beach in Australia?” You inquired the youth with the chore of dishes completed.
“Yeah! There’s a tv show called Bondi Rescue! I watch the clips on YouTube!” Harry exclaimed, hot on your heels to the couch. Out of May and Harry, he followed you around with questions about your life in Australia.
“I was a casual lifeguard. I’m not featured on that show, but I would get called in when a lifeguard was needed. It paired well with my job as a flight paramedic.” You half-smiled, remembering the Bondi lifeguards who had welcomed you into the family. You became one of them when they started pranking you.
“Did you ever see a shark-”
“Harry, go brush your teeth. Leave Y/N alone.” Athena informed her youngest from the open patio doors. Your father, Athena and May had been outside as soon as the table had been cleared.
“But-”
“Harry,” Athena warned the youngest Grant. Harry didn’t attempt to argue with his stern mother; all he did was hug you quickly. You watched the young boy disappear into the hallway.
“He reminds you of your little brother?” Athena questioned. In your time of reminiscing, the older woman had settled in Harry’s previous position.
“A little.” You whispered, “Thank you for welcoming me into the family. For making my dad happy.”
“You know I may have some baby clothes put away if you’d like to use them?” Athena offered with that smile that made you feel at home. Athena was far different from your late mother, with her presence commanding respect and intelligence. Your mom was similar, but I suppose it could be described as a softer touch.
“Anyway, saving a penny is appreciated. I have a question for you also.” You hesitantly started with a bundle of nerves deep in your belly. Athena turned to give you her full attention.
“Well? Out with it.” Athena pushed, but she had a slight feeling of what you were about to ask her.
“My mom was one the strongest women I know. It hurts that my baby won’t get to experience her love and guidance, and you can say no. We’ve only known each other a short time, but would you consider...maybe being a grandma to my baby?”
Giddy was the feeling Athena developed along with the laughing smile that only came from happiness. The woman could only nod her head in response to your hesitant question. To Athena’s knowledge but not yours, Bobby was softly smiling, watching his formerly estranged daughter getting along with your stepmom.
“Oh!” You gasped as your baby kicked hard enough for her foot imprint to be seen through your knitted sweater. 
Bobby was by your side in concern the second he heard your startled sound, but Athena wasn’t that concerned. Athena remembered having the same reaction.
“Are you okay?” Bobby frantically questioned. He faltered when the woman shared a belly-deep laugh at the sheer fear written in the seasoned firefighter’s eyes.
“Poppy was kicking.” You chuckled as your father’s shoulders dropped in relief, “Here.”
Your nimble fingers clasped around your father’s wrist to bring his palm to the spot Poppy was kicking. A certain lightness flooded your entire body, being capable of sharing this experience with Bobby. Watching tears well up in the grandpa to be’s brown eyes.
“Whoa.” Bobby breathlessly spoke as Poppy kicked against his palm. The feeling building in his was exhilarating with the small amount of grief mixed in, “I remember when your mom was pregnant with you. We didn’t know if we were having a girl or boy, but she was adamant you would be a kickboxer. So active.”
Athena watched as the relationship between father and daughter started healing directly in front of her eyes. The Sergeant was about to give you two some privacy when you caught her hand in your free one.
“Here.” You informed the older woman shifting to place her hand where your father’s hand had previously been. Your e/c eyes sought the wonder-filled different shades of brown eyes the couple had.
“You should get some sleep,” Athena spoke, staring at her hand resting on your bump. Her dark chocolate brown rising to find your gaze, “You won’t be getting a lot once she arrives.”
Bobby and Athena watched as you turned the corner to the spare room Athena’s parents used when they visited. For the time being, you’ve moved into the room, and the Grant-Nash house hoped you would stay. May had always wanted a sister, and Harry loved all the stories you told about Australia.
“You know, at some point, you’ll have to talk to her.”
“I just was-’
“-without anyone else being the buffer. Bobby, both your lives is evidence enough that some things are too trivial to stress over.” Athena pinned her stern gaze on her husband. The same husband is actively trying to avoid her penetrating gaze.
“What I did-’
“Is in the past, Bobby. You have a second chance with that wonderful woman in that bedroom and our grandchild. Now, are you sure that having the party at the firehouse is okay?”
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A hand supported the base of your back where an ache tended to stay for most of the day. That ache wasn’t the worst symptom of your pregnancy. You had heartburn constantly that tied with unfortunate constipation that had thankfully lessened. Your purse always had a cardigan for the hot flashes as well.
“Perfect! May has my car, and Bobby needed that.” Athena beamed from the open bay of the 118. One of the firefighters, Eddie, if you recalled, snagged your purse and the specific ingredient for a recipe.
“You could have borrowed Bobby’s-”
“His vehicle is in the shop Buck.” Athena interrupted the only member of the 118 you had let to officially meet.
Now there were two suspects of the sudden shortness of breath you started experiencing. It could be Poppy in the limited space in your body or the handsome firefighter. Buck had to be hands down none of the most attractive men you’d ever encountered. His dark blonde hair had minimal height, but the soft waves made your fingers itch to feel it. His ocean blue eyes crinkled at the corners with mirth.
“Ah, so you’re flesh and blood of Cap?” Buck questioned from in front of you. His blue eyes centred solely on you, with half a mind thanking himself that he could navigate the station blindfolded in the dark.
“For the last twenty-seven years, I have been.” You retorted, stopping at the edge of the stairs to the apparatus. Your keen sense of smell catching one of your favourite meals your father had dug up from the recipes he hadn’t used in years.
A zing of electricity trailed off your arm when a calloused palm met yours. Your e/c eyes followed the path of tan skin until it reached the shirt sleeve of Buck’s t-shirt. The shirt emblazoned on the chest with the department’s insignia. The man in the casual uniform guided you safely up the stairs with his hand on your back.
The pressure of Buck’s hand on your aching back muscle nearly brought what would be an embarrassing moan from your lips. Thankfully a gasp of surprise fell out instead at the banner hanging with other decorations.
“What?” You choked, cupping your hands to your face. Pure unadulterated shock and affection flooded every inch of you.
The entire 118 squad intermixed with their loved ones surrounded the open area with grins. On a table behind everyone was many wrapped gifts. But the cake was the most impressive.
A large rectangular cake in the realistic shape of a fire engine parked in front of a fire hydrant with a fondant hose going to the truck. On top of the fire truck was the turnout boots next to the matching helmet, the 118 proudly on it. You adored the turnout coat draping off the top to hang off the side.
“If you look at the helmet, it says Poppy.” Buck enthused, guiding you even closer to catch the immaculate cake, “It has to be the best cake we’ve gotten from them.”
“Hey, my rebar head cake was phenomenal!” Chimney called with a belying grin on his face. His hand encased by a brunette woman about his height with her heels on.
“It’s a long story.” Buck offered as soon as you gave him a weird questioning look, “Let me introduce you to everyone!”
For the next five minutes, you spend it by meeting the family of 118, including Eddie’s completely adorable son. Christopher was happy to sit next to you as soon as Harry had found you. Slowly the others came closer to hear the stories.
“What’re the most common injuries on the beach?” Denny, Hen and Karen’s ten-year-old son questioned.
“Bluebottle Jellyfish stings. On one day, we had hundreds of people come to the tower for stings, and the treatment for the minor ones is stingose spray and ice.”
“My question is how a girl from Minnesota is a lifeguard in Australia. Especially on Sydney’s most dangerous beach.” Chimney inserted, waving his bottle of pop at you, his eyes kept moving towards the wine Maddie brought.
Unfortunately, the 118 wouldn’t be celebrating with the wine until their shifts ended in a few short hours. It was a damn miracle they hadn’t been called out yet.
“This former Minnesotan spent summers at my best friend’s parents’ place in Cali as a lifeguard. Also, Bondi is not the most dangerous beach in Sydney. That’s Tamarama.” You pointed towards the man who raised his hands in surrender.
“Have you ever seen a dead body?” Harry asked, bringing a sobering silence in the question’s wake.
Your body language changed as soon as he asked, “Unfortunately, I’ve seen death as a paramedic and as a lifeguard.”
“You’re a paramedic? I thought you were just a lifeguard?” Buck asked, interested in the new information. Buck could feel his Captain’s eyes on the back of his head; he was sure Bobby could smell the attraction on Buck.
“Casual lifeguard. Called when needed as a backup.” You turned your e/c eyes towards the arguably youngest member of the 118.
“How many dead-”
“Harry.” Athena warned her son from continuing a topic that killed the ease and happiness you’d shown previously, “Why don’t we stop talking about-”
“Too many, Harry.” You interrupted your stepmom with a gentle smile towards the woman, “It’s not just drowning that claims lives but also the cliffs surrounding the beaches. Lifeguards patrol more than the beaches and water. Lifeguards respond to medical emergencies, mostly spinal until the paramedics arrive.”
“Oh-”
“I had a fellow lifeguard leave the job because of the suicides we deal with.”
“...who wants cake?” Karen used the quiet interlude of the much too serious topic for a group of kids barely in the double digits of ages. All referenced children followed Hen’s life to the beautiful baked creation.
“Sorry for getting dark there.”
“We all know the dark side of the jobs we chose to do. You sound like you miss Australia. Are you going to return there?” Eddie questioned with one eye pinned on his son, consuming more sugar than he wished.
Eddie’s question did raise self-doubt, but you knew that ultimately living in Australia was no longer a viable option. 
“There’s nothing there for me.”
Eddie, Buck and your father understood that mentality to a ‘t’ with family complications keeping them away. Your father for obvious reasons, whereas Eddie and Buck each had a living family with opinions only they saw right.
“You’re always welcome here. Especially when you bring that little cutie to the firehouse.” Maddie cooed towards your baby bump. The 911 dispatcher had asked many questions about your pregnancy.
 Maddie was the type of person who could make a stranger feel like they had known for their entire lives.
“Here.”
A plate of the cake was thrust in front of your face courtesy of Maddie’s brother Buck. It is quite literally the perfect size you could ask for. In his other hand, he had a new bottle of water waiting for you to grab.
“Thank you, Buck.” Your shock must have shown in your voice when his cheeks flushed.
“This whole party is a celebration for you, so you shouldn’t have to get up...unless you want to!” Buck rushed to respond, getting more flustered with the amused look of his older sister on him, “You’re already doing something absolutely amazing, so you should get to rela-”
“Buck!” You laughed, ending the older man’s rambling thoughts. The entire party attendees had started watching Buck’s failed smooth attempt.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
Buck mutely nodded in response, “No prob-”
The bell was the one to interrupt him instead. The on-duty firefighters rushed down from the upper levels to the lockers. The swift suiting up impressed you as it was like you blinked, and the bay was empty.
“Should be the last call before they get off shift.” Maddie, still occupied with the cake she was eating, “That wine looks so good!”
Your attention snapped from the vacant spots the 118 vehicles parked to the woman ploughing down on the cake. Sure it was good, but not that good. Maybe you could tell as a pregnant woman, or perhaps you just caught some of the symptoms you felt.
“How far along are you?”
Maddie froze, “What are you talk-”
“You’re pregnant, right?”
“Don’t tell anyone. Chim and I found out recently, but we want to wait on telling people. Once the first trimester is over, everyone can know.” Maddie pleaded with two hands cupped under her chin in a prayer position. The pretty brunette using the puppy dog eyes on the new friend she’d made.
“You should tell Buck-”
“We will once we enter the safe zone. So tell me about your baby’s father.” Maddie swiftly changed the subject, unaware of the ache developing in your midsection.
“Lucas Gowan.” You mussed, recalling the freckled half Australian half Scots man with the thick red locks.
“Ooh, is he still in Australia?”
“Technically, he is. I met him at the grocery store near the university campus. I’d transferred to escape my grief. It was purely an attraction at first sight before developing into love at first sight. We convocated and moved into a cosy little place. We’d only just found out about the baby when Lucas passed away.”
As you told Maddie, your hand had moved to cradle the only remaining piece of Lucas. 
“His death was unexpected and sudden. He’d taken a run the morning of our scan to find out baby Gowan’s gender. He fell off the side of the cliff. I was told he died instantly. The investigator believes his shoelace untied, and he stepped on it. Fell right off the side.”
“I’m so sorry.” Maddie breathed, leaning closer to hold your hands in her own, “He’d be so proud of you. For returning to the states. Do you keep in contact with his family?”
“He was an only child. Parents died in a car accident when he was ten years old. He was in foster care until he aged out of the system. Poppy is named after his mom.”
Maddie instinctively knew talking about Lucas was, “You know you get along pretty well with Buck... I’ve never seen him so flustered.”
“Maddie, I can tell you are a very intelligent woman, but you’re wrong here. Why would a guy like Buck be interested in a pregnant woman with a reconciling relationship with her father and his Captain while grieving her baby’s dad?”
Maddie tilted her head to the side, “Because I know my brother. He’s only ever had that look when I first moved to LA. Back when Abby was still important to him.”
“We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”
Maddie’s mouth opened to speak, but you were saved by the bell when Athena called you over for pictures. Then her attempts got thwarted once more when the 118 returned to the house perfectly synced to the end of shift.
“Driving here was the last time until the baby’s here. You’ve got precious cargo-”
“I’m seven months pregnant; I can still drive. There’s no law saying I can’t-”
Never argue with Athena Grant-Nash, “It may not be illegal, but I won’t endanger my daughter or my granddaughter.”
“I have to get to my OB/GYN appointment tomorrow. You and Dad each have a long shift during my scheduled appointment. Harry is both too young to drive and in school. May has a shift at dispatch. There’s literally no one available to take me.”
Bobby watched as two of the most important women in his life argued over something as trivial as driving. Harry shook at listening to someone fighting against his mother; she could be terrifying.
“I can take her.”
Everyone in the fir house turned to the voice who’d offered suddenly and found the sheepish form of a tall firefighter. Eddie’s eyebrows raised at his best friend.
“I don’t work tomorrow. I’ve got no plans. Albert’s got some date with a girl at her place.”
“I couldn’t put you out.”
“You need a ride, and I’ll be bored, so why not take my new friend to her baby doctor.”
“Baby doctor?” Hen parroted to her wife in astonishment towards her coworker and close friend. Both the women found the blatant flirting from Buck to the soon to be mother.
“She’ll take you up on the offer. She’s staying in our guest room. Come early for breakfast before you go. We’ll be having waffles.”
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Buck found any excuse to visit the Grant-Nash home with the motive to hang out with you ever since the baby shower. From delivering baked goods from your favourite bakery to insisting on driving you to appointments. Didn’t matter if Athena or Bobby could take you; Buck was adamant he drove you.
The friendship was easy going and very natural, like a ball glove still moulded perfectly to your hand. The hangouts in your home evolved to weekly visits to restaurants with guidelines to the current event happening worldwide. 
Ultimately it even led to a test date.
“You look breathtaking.” Buck breathlessly informed you once he’d gently pushed your chair closer to the table.
“Thank you.” You kindly responded despite thinking the complete opposite to the charming man sitting across from you.
Athena and May had helped you get ready for the date with calming words on how going on a date so far into the pregnancy was okay. Then, your father had tentatively inserted himself with sage advice on re-entering the dating scene.
“I thought we could grab some ice cream after,” Buck spoke up as soon as the waiter had taken your drink order. Buck had decided to refrain from alcohol and went with glasses of lemonade and water.
“You shouldn’t say that. I’ll just want ice cream.” You snickered, caressing the taut belly you’d grown to love. In fact, the firm push of a heel announced Poppy’s agreement with ice cream as dessert.
“How is Poppy?”
“The doc says she’s right on track. Healthy all around and in the position, she’s supposed to be at this stage.” Buck adored the affectionate smile that always appeared when the topic of your pregnancy was brought up.
“That’s amazing! Bobby gushes about you and Poppy. The fridge has an entire door dedicated to sonograms of Poppy. Even a few from that maternity shoot Hen and Maddie surprised you with.”
A few weeks had passed since the baby shower the 118 had surprised you with. Maddie had announced her pregnancy to the joy of the chosen family she had. Bobby had put together a crib he had painted. Michael, Athena’s ex-husband, had started making plans for adding on to the house for a room for the baby.
Despite informing the architect, you planned on moving out when you had saved enough, he’d made a sound argument. Athena would want a place for the baby to stay when you visited, or the woman demanded to babysit.
Now you found yourself in a National forest not far from Los Angeles, posing in front of nature. A surprise photoshoot Hen and Karen had organized with Karen’s brother Trey. Maddie and Athena had been the ones who drove you.
“Hold the teddy bear on your bump,” Trey informed you from behind his professional and intimidating camera. The photographer praised you in the rapid movement to listen to his offer.
“Hey! Maddie! You should take a few photos. I need a pee break.” You didn’t wait for Maddie to respond in your rush to the somewhat rustic bathroom hut.
By the time you returned, Maddie was taking a couple pictures. Then you took some with Athena to have on the nursery walls and for Bobby to have a photo for his desk.
“Now one with all three of you.”
Present
“So a daredevil.” You stated unsurprised that the firefighter had a history of recklessness. You don’t go into firefighting without a taste for danger.
“The bruises and blood fit better than the awful bleached hair during my time in Peru.” Buck laughed, recalling the questionable choice in his fashion pre-firefighting. Sometimes he missed the people he encountered in his period of self-discovery.
“You didn’t wear puka sh-”
“I did. Bleached hair, puka shells and Hawaiian shirts were my staples during my bartending years. I fit in with the aesthetic of the bar I tended.”
“Buck!” You nearly gasped at his raw honesty. Buck didn’t hold back any answers to your questions, but you each strayed from the topic of family.
Talking about the tragic family history wasn’t a good idea on the first time regardless of the time you’d known each other.
“You’re telling me-” Buck halted as soon as he caught the flash of discomfort flicker over your beautiful features, “Are you okay?”
“She shifted. Been sitting on my blad-” You cut yourself off with a hiss of pain. Buck’s eyes widened at the pain taking over your features, “Oh, that hurt.”
Buck went straight into work mode, “Have you been in pain for long?”
“No. A few cramps here and there today, but my doctor said it was nothing to worry about.” You informed the experienced first responder resting level to your knees.
Buck didn’t want to say it, but he was sure that you’d gone into early labour. There was no indication your water had broken, but he kept over the last hour together. Every once in a while, you shifted or pressed a hand to your bump.
“Has your water broken?”
You shook your head, “No, but...oh... that’s not a cramp.”
With that statement out, you clenched your fingers tight on the edge of the table as pain rippled in your belly. A contraction that stole your breath momentarily. In your contraction, Buck had dialled 911. Buck recalled that sometimes a woman’s water doesn't break until right before the birth.
“We’re not getting that ice cream, are we?” You snorted upon being lifted onto the gurney. How fortunate or unfortunate you were to have the 118 right there.
Hen had taken a position at your feet to check on your lower body while Chimney took your vital signs. You honestly didn’t like the look Hen and Chimney shared with Buck.
“What is it?”
“We’re gonna need to deliver here.” Hen sighed, giving you the facts that terrified you. When you envisioned having the baby, it was in a medical centre. Not in a restaurant.
“My office is large and away from the crowd if you want. I can show you the way.” Sophie, the restaurant manager, offered already starting to lead the way. Sophie would never know how thankful you felt for being able to have privacy.
“Okay, Y/N, is it okay if I check how dilated you -.” Hen breathed with her hand, gently disappearing until the thin blanket Chimney procured from the stocked ambulance, “Y/N when I saw I want you to do that.”
Hen didn’t need to check your dilation when she could see the baby’s head already.
“I’m right here.” Buck cooed in your ear. He had held your hand as his coworkers did their jobs around you.
“This isn’t the way I envisioned you seeing my pu-”
“Push.” Hen urged, cutting off your almost vulgar language, but it eased the tension in the small restaurant office. You couldn’t even see Buck’s flustered reaction as you bore down with the contraction, “Good! Take a breath.”
“You’re a strong woman. It never ceases to amaze me the strength women have.” Buck spoke, keeping your e/c eyes on his blue ones. His hand raised to push a strand of your sweaty hair off your temple.
“Once more push!” Hen called out just in time with the last contraction. The feeling of the pressure between your legs popping was moan inducing.
Poppy was silent. Your entire body froze, yearning for the sweet sound of crying instead of the eerie silence. The world stood still as Chimney worked on your baby girl.
“Pulse is strong,” Chimney announced, keeping his attention on the task of clearing Poppy’s throat and nose. And that sweet sound of crying commenced, “Congratulations Y/N, you have a beautiful baby girl. Let’s get you to the hospital.”
Your father beat the ambulance to the nearest ER in pure anticipation at meeting his granddaughter Poppy Nash Gowan. He barely noticed as Buck stuck to your side like glue. Bobby waited outside the door as you got checked over in the room.
“Quite the first date.” You mused towards Buck, who hovered in awe over the life form you had carried for nine months. You’d been pregnant for three quarters of an entire year to his fascination. 
“All my meaningful relationships started with a medical emergency.” Buck finally looked up at you. He’d kept Poppy company in the bassinet while you delivered the afterbirth upon entering the hospital.
“Seriously?”
“Had a tracheostomy on Valentine’s Day with Abby, an earthquake with Ali and a newscaster in a crashed helicopter.” Buck listed off. He hadn’t even noticed scooping the newborn into his arms until he’d sat in the chair by your bed, “Why not add a sudden labour and delivery.”
“He would have liked you.”
The sentence came out of absolutely nowhere. Almost like something had ripped it out of your vocal cords. At the look of confusion, you elaborated.
“Lucas. He would have liked you. I think if it is possible, he might have pushed me into meeting you. I’ll still need to take it slow, but I’d like to give this a shot.”
That was all Buck needed to lean in closer to kiss you—the first of many kisses.
Some might disagree on how quick your relationship with Buck developed, but they didn’t know yours at all. It was natural with the firefighter who stepped into the role of father figure for a growing Poppy. By the time Poppy was one, you’d moved into a house not far from your father’s place with Buck. By the time Poppy was three, a pretty ring had sat on your finger. By five, the young girl had a baby brother. 
“Your parents spoil Poppy.”
“You say that like you didn’t crawl into her crib during her afternoon naps.” You deadpanned towards your husband. Buck had the nerve to sheepishly grin, “You give in each time she says ‘pwetty pwease’ for a cookie.”
“It’s a crime to make her sad!” Buck defended himself, but a grin of amusement threatened his act, “Besides, you crack each time too!”
“Mhm. Just wait until Theo can talk.” You pressed a kiss to the sleeping infant strapped into the baby carrier. Theodore Robert Buckley could fall asleep in a thunderstorm if he was in Buck’s arms.
“Oh! Maddie wants to have Poppy over for a play date. Madster’s been begging for her cousin to have a sleepover.”
Maddie and Chimney’s daughter was only a few months younger than your daughter, but the two were thick as thieves. Buck had referred to the Han daughter as Madster with how similar her mannerisms were to her mother.
“Think they’d take the rascal?”
“Is this code for you wanting to have another?” Buck questioned with a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes. The same blue Theo had inherited along with a birthmark like Buck’s on his bicep.
“I-” You choked, blinking furiously, “Evan, I pushed Theo out of my body barely three months ago!”
Buck inconspicuously winked in response with the sudden scream of excitement coming from Poppy. The rambunctious five-year-old ploughed into Buck’s legs full force. Falling into the practised ease, you’d unstrapped Theo from Buck’s chest and promptly had his tiny body stolen into his grandpa’s arms.
“There’s my boy.” Bobby cooed to the sleep drunk tiny infant. The little baby is crowded by his Gram Athena and Aunt May, “Gonna have to get you a Minnesota Wilds jersey.”
“Hell no. That boy is LA born and bred. He’ll be wearing a Kings jersey like the civilized.” Michael announced with the sudden arrival of Theo and Poppy’s Uncle Harry.
“Mommy? When are we going to Stralia?” Poppy inquired from right beside your leg. Her tiny handheld is the giant one of her dad.
“In a few weeks. Are you excited to see the mommy’s old friends again?”
“Hm. Can we see Dada?”
Buck may be Poppy’s father, but he’d never let Poppy go without knowing she had two fathers in all. Her first one waiting to meet here decades from the time she was born and solely referenced Lucas as Dada. Buck was grateful for the man who brought Poppy into existence; the little green-eyed tot Buck could never regret. Unlike Buck’s parents keeping his older brother’s existence a secret, the firefighter refused to follow in their footsteps. He’d continue to shower the late Lucas in gratitude and respect. He refused to make the same mistakes as Phillip and Margaret Buckley.
“Of course. C’mon Poppy, time to say goodbye.” Buck guided the little girl to the extended family showering her little brother with love. The little girl was quickly swung into Bobby’s arms, and Athena cooing at your infant son.
Changes. The six-letter word doesn’t have to be terrifying. It can be breathtaking, memorable and beautiful to experience. 
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srirachvbi · 4 years
Text
Sakusa and Ushijima bringing their kids to practice Headcanons !
requested by anon: Um hi idk if you write for them so you can totally ignore this . Um can I ask for sakusa and ushijima (or one of them it's up to you) bringing their kids to practice bc the reader was called into work ??? Like Sakusa with his little boy and ushijima with his son and daughter. Sorry you can ignore this 
a/n: ignore this?? absolutely not LMAO i love this idea. tsym for requesting anon! hopefully, headcanons are okay for this! also sorry that ushijima’s is a little shorter-- i wasn’t quite sure what else to write <3
warnings: manga spoilers 
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SAKUSA KIYOOMI
This dude was like 👁👄👁 when you called him only half an hour into practice to ask
They were on a water break after doing a bunch of drills and his phone lit up with your contact picture
Atsumu: Aw Omi Omi, that’s a cute picture of you two~
Kiyoomi: I will literally end you ❤️
Anyways he grabs his phone and stalks off to get away from the team since he knew they would eavesdrop if he stayed that close
The second he answered the phone, you started rambling and like begging for forgiveness so he was just “???”
Y/N: Yoomi! I swear I’ll make dinner for the next week and-- and I’ll uhhh... buy all of the groceries and cleaning supplies for a while and-- and
Kiyoomi: tf are you going on about?
Y/N: Is it okay if I drop Hi-chan off with you? ... I got called into work and the nanny’s busy...
He goes silent for a second, which makes you start to freak out because you were out of options for who to call
Your parents were on a cruise which both you and Kiyoomi got them for their 30th anniversary so they won’t home and your siblings lived on the other side of the country
Kiyoomi’s parents were too busy and so was his older siblings
So
He was your final resort
After a few seconds he just kind of laughs quietly and sighs
Kiyoomi: yeah, you can bring Hito-kun here
Y/N: your hand in marriage pls ❤️
Kiyoomi: ...
He justs SIGHS and hangs up cause he’s tired of your bullshit ❤️
He’ll pocket his phone and go up to the coach and Meian to ask if it’s okay if his kid sits in during practice and they’re perfectly fine with that
LMAO Atsumu, Bo, and Hinata eavesdropping and being like “tiny Sakusa??????”  
Fifteen minutes later, you pop into the gym with Hitoshi (not the bnha character LMAO) and Hinata and Bokuto both go “TINY OMI-KUN!!!!”
Oh my god when I tell you Sakusa almost had an aneurysm when they started to run towards you and his son, i mean it
he literally went from one side of the gym to in front of you two with the most disgusted look on his face
Hito’s pretty similar to Sakusa as in like... he hates germs so when he saw those two sweaty adults running towards him he just
Hito: due to personal reasons, i will be passing away now ❤️
Bo and Hinata are trying to get near Hito, but Sakusa just completely blocks them 
Y/N: thank you for taking care of Hi-chan, Yoomi :(
Kiyoomi: I had nothing against taking care of him in the first place, idiot
Anyways, you realize the time and literally sprint out of there to get to work
Bokuto: Mini Omi-kun! HI!!!
Hito:  👁👄👁 you’re so sweaty pls don’t touch me sir ❤️
Bo goes :(( but recovers when Hito apologizes after seeing how sad he got
Cause even tho Sakusa wouldn’t apologize, Hito was also raised by you and he’s a kid so he just kind of gets all flustered
Hito pats his shoulder to try and comfort him and Bo goes “!!” and like picks up the poor boy
At first, Hito is TERRIFIED but after a few seconds, he starts giggling and enjoying himself
Sakusa was about to kill him but then he saw his little son all happy and his heart clenched
After a few minutes of fooling around with Hito, they start practice again since they can’t spend the whole day just fooling around with the little Sakusa lol
The whole time while they’re doing drills (or smth idk how professional volleyball practice is LMAO), Hito’s standing next to Coach Foster and his eyes are so bright and big
He’s super excited to see his dad play because he hadn’t gone to that many games (Sakusa said that there were too many germs and that he’d get sick)
So to see his dad going like “BLAM” with the ball was like “!!” 
They do a game of 2v2 and he’s cheering so loud for his dad it’s so cute
Hinata and Atsumu are on a team together and they’re sitting on the sidelines with Hito until they get to play
Hito getting super excited and energetic when he sees his dad playing volleyball so he asks them about the players :((( 
Stop I can just imagine a tiny sakusa with more energy just being so cute
Practice finally ends for the day and Sakusa walks out of the locker room and Hito’s like “DAD!!!!!!!” and runs towards him
Sakusa’s soft for his son so he chuckles and picks him up
Hito: you were so cool!!!! You went like BLAM and BOOM!!
Sakusa, internally: oh god, i gave birth to another Hinata...
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USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI
SO in this one you’re on a business trip for work and like.. the nanny cancelled on him the morning of so he was like “well, shit” 
But like not really cause he’d probably be nonchalant about it
His daughter, Riko is 3 and his son, Eiji is only a few months old so he comes into practice with a baby carrier and Hoshiumi’s like
>:0 !!!!!!!!
Hoshiumi: BABY USHIJIMA >:0 !!!!!
Riko’s super energetic unlike her father or her brother so she’s running around the second she walks into the gym and Ushijimas like  👁👄👁 cause he’s not quite sure if he should scold her or not 
Honestly, Ushijima would be so confused with kids cause he’s just... 
head full only volleyball
Normally you’re around and or the nanny so he’s not sure what to do LMAO
Riko’s unusually energetic and he’s pretty sure she got it from you lol
Romero sees Ushijima’s look of pure conflict and almost loses a lung from how hard he laughed
Ushijima may be super smart when it came to volleyball but it seems children is the next obstacle 
Riko and Hoshiumi somehow bond in hardly any time and suddenly Riko’s on his shoulders and they’re running around
chaotic duo, we stan 
Kageyama’s looking at the children with utter confusion
Omg Kageyama and Ushijima would both definitely be so confused with children
smh these volleyball idiots
Eventually, they actually have to start practice so Riko and baby Eiji were by the benches
Lmao Riko running onto court because she wants to play volleyball with her dad and Ushijima having a stroke
He’s bowing so low to the coaches because he just... doesn’t know what to do
it was hard enough to get them out of bed today 
It’s okay with everyone and Hoshiumi literally tries to pass the ball to Riko and Romero SCREAMS in fear
Romero’s definitely the savior of the day when it comes to the kids
Ushijima carries Riko off the court and the tiny bab was like >:0 !! When he sat her back down with Eiji
Riko: DAD >:0 !!!
Ushijima just asks her to stay on the bench but he doesn’t want to scold her 
She listens to him because she sees how conflicted he looks finally 
Lmao she tries to pass a ball to Eiji and Ushijima’s like “oh, oh god.”
Talking about Eiji, he starts crying and the coach just SIGHS and gives them a ten minute break
Ushijima losing ten years of his life as he tries to calm Eiji down
Hoshiumi: !! he wants to play volleyball too !!
Romero: Hoshiumi, no... please... 
Ushijima eventually calms the crying baby down and feeds him a bottle
Eiji ends up falling asleep after that tho so there’s no more issues with him for the rest of practice ❤️
It would be interesting to see Ushijima with his kids lolol
ANYWAYS
practice ends and Riko’s like “DAD!!! Teach me how to play volleyball now!!!” even though he’s already began
She’s a bit forgetful ❤️
Romero literally starts giving Ushijima tips and everything because he sees how confused he is
All of the other players listening as well because they’re interested
Professor Romero! 
Ushijima heads home with his two kids and he’s just listening to Riko ramble a lot and he’s happy
He was scared she wouldn’t like to be there and would throw a fit but similar to her father, she’s super excited about volleyball 
You call them on the way home and Riko’s like “MOM !! I WANNA PLAY VOLLEYBALL !!” 
You start giggling and you listen to her ramble for a while before asking her to give the phone to her dad
Ushijima: please never go on a business trip again ❤️
Y/N: aww, you miss me Waka-kun~
He hangs up
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hangovercurse · 3 years
Text
Home Sweet Home
You bring Colson to your hometown for the first time.
Request: “Can you write a Colson imagine where you take him back to your hometown to meet your family and friends and he’s nervous everyone will hate him but everyone ends up loving him? And maybe include a run in with some girls from high school that are jealous 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️”
Colson Baker x Reader
Warnings: Cursing
A/N: I try to be as inclusive as possible in my fics but its hard when writing about families in this capacity, so I just went with the most generic family model possible. Also, my family is very unusual so I don’t really know how families interact… oop
Word Count: 2979
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“Will you stop freaking out, you’re making me nervous.” You placed a soft hand on the shaking leg of your boyfriend. “And they’re my family.”
He let out a sigh, the shaking stopping momentarily as he pulled you as close to him as possible in the back of your Uber. “What if your parents hate me?”  
Taking a deep breath, you assured him again, “my parents are not going to hate you. We’ve been over this; they’re going to love you.”
“Your dad is going to take one look at me and punch me in the face.” Colson said, a pout on his face.
You let out a chuckle, “he is not. And even if he does, you can take a punch.”
Despite your laughter, Colson remained stoic, “I’m serious Y/N, dads hate me. I look like everything you’d want your daughter to avoid.”
A sigh left your lips at his admittance of insecurity. “Babe listen to me, please. My parents are going to love you because I love you. And if they don’t then tough shit because you’re not going anywhere.”
He nodded, but you could still see the worry behind his eyes. “I just really want them to like me. They’re important to you, so they’re important to me.”
You smiled at the comment, heart fluttering. “I’m in love with you.”
He looked at you deeply, a smile falling onto his lips, “and I’m in love with you, princess.” His lips pressed a small kiss against the crown of your head and rested there until the car pulled up to your childhood home. You felt your boyfriend tense up beside you, so you reached for his arm that was around your middle, rubbing soft shapes through the sleeves.
“I’m gonna be right next to you the whole night.” You told him as you moved to open the door, breathing in the refreshing air. LA was lovely, but it was nice to be able to breathe properly in your hometown.
Colson grabbed your bags out of the trunk, even though you insisted you could help. “Go say hi to your family, babe. I got it.”
You pressed a small kiss to his cheek, whispering a small “see you inside” before rushing to the familiar front door. Years of memories lie beyond its wood, memories you were excited to relive.
Knowing your family would keep it unlocked for you, you turned the knob and pushed the door open. The smell of your family’s cooking filled your nose, and immediately members of your family found you.
“Y/N!” Your younger cousins screamed, racing over to you to hug you. The last time you’d seen them they were 5 and 7, now they were 8 and 10.
“You guys have gotten so big! Did you drink some sort of magic potion or something?” You asked, a smile on your face.
Your mom had told you that she and your father would be cooking, but you didn’t think they’d invited your entire family. Although, you should have assumed they would given how close your family was.
Once your cousins let go of you, you turned around to see Colson waving off the Uber driver and making his way to the door. You turned to your younger cousins once he got close enough for them to see him. “Guys, this is my boyfriend, Colson.” They gave small waves as you introduced them to Colson, who gave them a big smile.
“C’mon, babe. I’ll show you to our room.” You grabbed one of the bags from his hand, much to his dismay, and led him through the house. After you had moved to LA, your parents had turned your bedroom into the guest room, but some of the decorations from your younger years had remained on the walls.
Colson looked around the room, smiling as he thought of younger you growing up in here. “Is this a Bowie vinyl?” He asked, motioning to the vinyl record on the wall as he set your bags onto the bed.
You nodded, smiling wide. “Yep, got it for my 15th birthday. Signed and everything.” Your boyfriend nodded in appreciation as his eyes moved around the room. You wrapped your arms around his middle, cuddling into his chest. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest from how nervous he was. “You’re not gonna freak out and run off on me, are you?” You asked, a light humor in your voice.
Colson let out a dry chuckle, “no, I’ll be okay.” He mumbled, squeezing you closer to him. “But what if  we just stayed in here forever?”
You slapped his chest playfully, “c’mon loser, you’re coming to meet my family whether you like it or not.” You grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the door.
“Yes ma’am.” He saluted with his free hand, making you giggle.
You made your way into the kitchen where your mom was standing with your aunts and sister. Her eyes lit up when she saw you, “you made it!” She came over and gave you a tight hug, “How was the flight?” She asked.
“It was fine, we slept most of the way.” You smiled before turning to Colson. “Mom, this is Colson, you’ve met him over facetime a couple times now, remember?”
She smiled moving to pull him into a hug. He had a shocked look on his face but reciprocated the hug. You mouthed “sorry” to him, giggling silently. He just smiled and shook his head, letting you know he was okay.
“Of course, I remember! She talks about you all the time.” You blushed as Colson smiled proudly. “You’re much taller in person.” Your mom noted, making you and Colson chuckle.
“Yeah, I get that a lot.”
Your sister cleared her throat, grabbing your attention, “right! Colson, this is my sister and my aunts.”
They each introduced themselves politely. You told them you were going to go outside to find your dad and brothers. Before you left your sister pulled you to the side and whispered in your ear, “okay, I knew LA was full of hot guys, but how’d you manage to pull that?”
You laughed out loud, “Y/S/N! That’s so mean!”
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” She laughed, but then whispered again, “but seriously, god damn.”
You rolled your eyes, “next time I’ll bring you one back.” She giggled, nodding in encouragement.
You took Colson’s hand, ignoring his quizzical look, and led him to your backyard. “That wasn’t too bad, right?” You checked in on him.
He sighed, “no, but moms are never bad. If moms don’t like you, they’ll say it in secret. Dads will say it to your face.”
“My mom loved you, and so will my dad. Just trust me.” You smiled, squeezing his hand.
You found your dad sitting on a lawn chair with your grandparents. Your brothers were throwing a football around with some of your older cousins and uncles. You greeted the three in lawn chairs, your dad standing up to give you a hug.
“Hey, Y/N/N. How are you?” Your dad asked.
“I’m good! Glad to be home!” You smiled.
Your grandpa grunted, “you should never leave, then.”
You chuckled, leaning down to give both him and your grandma hugs. “You’ll be so sick of me in three days, you’ll be begging me to leave.”
Once you stood up straight, you motioned to Colson, “This is my boyfriend, Colson. You’ve kind of met him before, Dad.”
Your dad reached out his arm for Colson to shake, earning him a strong nod. “Strong grip. I like him.” Your dad looked towards you. You could tell he didn’t remember meeting Colson on facetime, but you hadn’t expected him to.
“Grandpa, you’ll like this. Colson knows all four members of Motley Crue.” You smiled, winking at your boyfriend.
The older man looked impressed, “really? I was a roadie on the Theatre of Pain tour.”
Colson nodded, a smile on his face. “I played Tommy Lee in their biopic and then, uh, we recorded a song together.” You grinned proudly as the two talked about their experiences with the band.
Your dad put a hand on your shoulder, shaking you lightly, “You happy?” He whispered.
You turned to look at him, “yeah. He’s a good guy, trust me.”
Your dad nodded, “oh, I can tell. Just wanted to make sure.” You thanked him, watching your boyfriend interact with your family. “Now you gotta introduce him to your brothers.” He chuckled at your sigh.
“Do I have permission to punch them if they act like assholes?” You asked, only kind of joking.
Your dad pushed you towards the lawn, “I see nothing.” You smile, grabbing Colson’s hand and leading him away from your grandpa once they’d finished their conversation.
“Okay, so I knew you were freaking out about my parents, so I didn’t want to freak you out even more.” You started, causing a panic look to cross Colson’s face. “My brothers are…” you searched for the words, “assholes. But like, loveable assholes. But they’re probably gonna give you shit, but it’s out of love. But I have no problem hitting them if you want me to.” You smiled.
He raised an eyebrow, “normally I’d say that’s my job but I feel like it’d be easier for your family to forgive you than me.” You laughed, pulling him to the guys and introducing him.
It turns out, your brothers actually really liked Colson, which was somehow worse than them hating him. Because it meant that they stole him from you. When you went back inside to talk more with your mom, your brothers demanded Colson stay outside with them. He seemed happy, so you let him stay, excited that your family was taking to him so well.
An hour later, dinner was almost ready, so your brothers started to set up the folding tables outside, which Colson gladly helped with. You were helping your mom finish up the last of the food, watching your best friend and soulmate through the window with adoration. He was helping your younger cousin put the tablecloth on the table, the scene reminding you of the time Casie and him took you out for a picnic on your birthday. You couldn’t wait to bring her here.
“You chose a good one.” Your grandma commented from behind you, making you jump a little bit. Once you registered her words, you blushed, mumbling out a thank you. “I can tell he really loves you. A granny can always tell.”
You smiled, “I really love him, too.” You turned back to check on him, catching his eye. He sent you a bright grin, making your grandma pat you on the shoulder before walking back to your mom to help her.
The rest of the night was magical, Colson by your side the entire time. Eventually most of your family left, leaving you and Colson to go to bed. You cuddled into his side, a smile on both of your faces. “They all love you, y’know?”
He hummed in response, squeezing your waist. “I love you.”
You chuckled, “you’re so fucking cheesy.”
 The next day you were determined to take Colson on a tour of your town, starting with the skate park you spent almost every day at in high school. “We would’ve been best friends when we were kids.” He said as you dragged him through the park.
“We’re best friends now.” You chuckled, pausing to press a kiss to his lips.
He hummed, “I think we’re a little more than best friends but okay.” You rolled your eyes, pulling him further into the park until you spotted a familiar face.
“Little Benny?” You asked, your face lighting up. The younger guy’s eyes widened, running up to you.
“Y/N?” he asked, pulling you in for a hug.
You chuckled, “You were like, 12 the last time I saw you, what the hell?”
The man laughed along with you, “well you were the one who ran off to LA miss big-time producer.”
You smiled, realizing he had probably checked up on you. Benny was about 7 years younger than you and had looked up to you almost his whole life. Seeing him so grown up was a strange experience for you.
You noticed him glancing to Colson, his eyes going wide. “You’re-“
You laughed, “Benny this is Colson, my boyfriend. Also known as-“
“Machine Gun Kelly!” The younger boy exclaimed, making Colson chuckle.
He reached out his hand, which Benny gladly shook, “nice to meet you, man.”
“Kells, this is Benny, my friend from high school. I taught him how to skate.”
“More like your protégé.” A female voice said. Behind Benny came Deanie, another girl his age you had taught. Benny’s arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into him.
You smiled at the two, knowing Benny had liked her since he was in middle school. “Hi Deanie.” You said, the girl smiling back at you. “This is Colson, my boyfriend.”
“Are you gonna skate?” She asked, eyes going wide.
You sighed, shaking your head, “sorry, guys. Maybe later, I’m just showing Colson around the town right now.”
Deanie and Benny both pouted, “damn, she goes off to Hollywood and forgets all about us.” Benny joked, making you all laugh.
You grabbed Colson’s hand, “We’ll see you guys later!” You waved, pulling the man away from the couple.
“It was nice to meet you!” He said, making you smile. “You seriously taught him how to skate?”
You nodded as you continued your trek to the diner you used to work at. “Yep, I taught most of the kids how to skate, although I guess they’re all his age now.”
Colson grinned, “so you’re, like, a legend here.” He commented, but you shook your head, laughing.
“No, I was a loser.”
“Not to those two, you’re not.” He said, swinging your intertwined hands. You rolled your eyes but didn’t say anything further.
You finally arrived at the small diner you used to work at. About 50 feet away from the door, Colson’s phone buzzed. “Shit, Slim’s calling.”
“Take it, I’ll grab a table and you can meet me inside.” He smiled thankfully, answering the call as you walked inside.
You immediately spotted Wesley, the cook you’d known since you were 16, through the order window. The smell of the diner was familiar, and for a moment you felt like you were walking in for a shift. You leaned against the bar, “Hey, Wes!” You called, drawing the cook’s eye.
“Little miss Y/N! Is that really you?” You smiled at the old man.
“It sure is! How’s the diner?”
“I’m still here, aren’t I?” You giggled at his response. Wes had opened the diner in the 90’s and swore he’d burn with the building.
You grabbed a booth in the corner, just in case there happened to be any peering eyes in your small town.
Unfortunately, your table was in Liza’s section, a girl who’d hated you since you were kids. You found it quite funny that she was still working at the diner after all this time, silently thankful that you’d gotten out of the town.
She scowled when she saw you but walked over anyways. “What happened? Strike out in Hollywood and now you’re back here trying to get your job back?”
Her voice was just as annoying as it had always been. “Or did your rich sugar daddy dump your ass and now you’re home begging for money?”
You wanted nothing more than to slap the smirk off her face, but you refrained. “Actually-“ You started, but you got cut off by your boyfriend.
“You have a sugar daddy and didn’t tell me about it? Babe I would’ve helped you scam him for so much more.” He smiled, sitting across from you, and grabbing your hand that was resting on the table.
Upon realizing who was sitting across from you, Liza stiffened. “You’re-“
“Y/N’s boyfriend, nice to meet you.” He smiled, an evil glint in his eyes.
“Machine Gun Kelly!” Liza said, her squeaky voice making you cringe.
“I prefer Colson, but yeah.” He sighed, looking back over to see your annoyed expression.
Liza looked between the two of you, a look at disgust on her face. “Seriously? Why the hell are you going out with her? You could do so much better.”
Your mouth dropped open in shock at her blunt rudeness. Colson’s jaw clenched as he spoke, “what, like you?”
The girl shrugged, not catching the sarcasm that dripped from his voice. “I’m just saying, I don’t know what she’s told you but she’s a talentless bitch whose probably only dating you for money or fame, or both.”
Luckily, Wes came out to the front of the house to greet Colson, stopping him from punching a girl in the middle of the restaurant. “Nice to meet you, man. I’m Wes, owner, cook, and the best boss Y/N has ever had.” Colson shook his hand, still glaring at Liza.
“Yep.” You agreed with the man. Your voice was soft to calm Colson down, which worked a little bit.
Colson shot the man a grin, “nice to meet you, Wes. Y/N talks about this place all the time.”
The look of pride on Wes’s face was unforgettable. “Well, if you two need anything, just let me know.”
Colson looked towards Liza, annoyance returning to his features, “do you think we could get a new waiter?”
You almost laughed seeing the look of shock on her features, but Wes happily obliged, handing your table over to a newer waitress. Liza had steam coming out of her ears, but you ignored her.
“Thank you.” You muttered. “She’s hated me since we were kids.”
He rolled his eyes, “Yeah I could tell. Couldn’t have her talking shit like that.” He squeezed your hand, “now, what’s good here?”
433 notes · View notes
Text
nothing left ~ 10k;z nation
word count: 2229
request?: no
description: he accompanies her back to her childhood home to find nothing left besides the memories of times before the zombies, and they decide to leave some new memories there
pairing: 10k x female!reader
warnings: swearing, smut
masterlist
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(Y/N) kept a straight face as they drove past the sig with her hometown’s name displayed in bold, black letters against the stark white background. It was the first time she had been there since she and her parents had escaped during the initial Z outbreak. Since then, she had lost everything, but managed to find a new family within the small group that took her in.
They came to a stop at an empty parking lot of an abandoned supermarket. Everyone got out, weapons in tow.
“This place is a ghost town,” Doc commented.
“Almost everyone vacated when the infection started,” (Y/N) explained. “I don’t even think there would be any Zs here. It’s probably only been ransacked lately.”
“It’s the only town for miles, it’s our best bet for resources,” Warren said. “We search the place where we can and see what we can find.” She turned to (Y/N) to add, “Do you want to go home? Just to see the place if nothing else?”
(Y/N) was dying to get home, but she didn’t want anyone on the team to see her as weak or fragile. Although she knew they wouldn’t think any different of her if she did show some weakness, in this day and age, your biggest threat was to be perceived as weak to anyone.
Before she could respond, 10k spoke up. “I think you should. It’ll give you a break from everything, and you can be closer to your parents for even just a moment.”
(Y/N) had a hard time saying no to 10k, especially when parents were involved. She knew he wanted nothing more than to be close to his own father again, but, like (Y/N), 10k hadn’t been home in nearly a year. He didn’t even know if his own home was still standing. If she turned down this opportunity that she knew 10k wanted so bad in front of him, she’d never forgive herself.
“It would be nice,” she admitted.
“You go then honey,” Warren said, her voice soft and kind. “10k, you go with her for protection. Meet us back here before sundown. We’ll wait a little while, but not too long.”
The two youngest members left in the opposite direction of the group. (Y/N) led 10k down the still familiar roads. They weren’t too far from the house and, before she knew it, (Y/N) was stood in front of her childhood home. Her eyes widened at the sight of it.
All the windows were smashed and the door was practically ripped off of the hinges. They entered with weapons raised in case of a Z attack. (Y/N)’s heart broke to see the place ransacked and destroyed. Every picture her parents had hung were smashed to pieces. Only one remained partially in tact, one of (Y/N) and her parents when she was barley a year old. They were on their first vacation as a family to visit someone in another state. The picture was of the three of them on the beach together. Baby (Y/N) was in her mother’s arms, taken by the sand in her tiny hands while her parents were smiling brightly at the camera.
10k looked over her shoulder as her eyes began to water. “You look a lot like your mom.”
“I got that a lot,” she said. “We were basically twins. Dad said I got lucky with mom’s genes.”
She held the picture close to her chest as she moved up the stairs to where the bedrooms and main bathroom was. Whoever had broken in must’ve found what they wanted on the first floor because the bedrooms were relatively untouched. Every poster and picture (Y/N) had on her walls were still there. Her old laptop was even still there, although she doubted that it worked anymore.
“It’s weird,” she said. “It feels like I’ve been gone for years, but this room looks exactly the way I left it, like not a day has past.”
“Anything here you want to take with you?” 10k asked.
(Y/N) shook her head. “I took most of the important stuff when we left first. There’s nothing but memories here now.”
She was so lost in her own thoughts - memories of when things were good - that she didn’t hear 10k leave the room to walk into the bathroom until he spoke again. “The water still runs.”
She walked into the bathroom to find clean water running from the tap. She put a hand under the water, feeling it go from freezing cold to comfortably warm in seconds.
“The power and stuff must still be running,” she said. “Good news for us. I haven’t showered in ages.”
“You think it’s safe?” 10k asked, but (Y/N) was already placing her weapons on the bathroom counter and shedding herself of her top layers.
“I’m willing to take one for the team if it means I’ll be clean when I die,” she joked. “You can watch the door and make sure no Zs or no more looters come in. I’ll leave my gun close enough that I can use it if need be.”
10k nodded. Before he could get the chance to turn back on, (Y/N) grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. For a split second, 10k saw the black bra she was wearing. It was old and worn, probably one of the only ones she had left. Due to this, it was basically falling apart, so when he got a brief glance of the bra, he also got a glance of one of her breasts.
10k’s eyes widened as he quickly turned his back so that (Y/N) didn’t know. He stood in the doorway, listening over the sound of the shower running for any indication of someone, or something, breaking into the house.
The warm water running over (Y/N) caused her to let out a moan of relief. It had been so long since she had properly bathed. The warm water of the familiar shower felt like heaven to her.
Outside the shower, 10k was shuffling awkwardly. He and (Y/N) had been close since they had first met, but they had only ever viewed each other as friends and Z fighting colleagues. He didn’t understand why he was starting to have this feeling about her. Maybe it was just boy hormones and the fact that she was a naked girl just a few feet away from him. But it felt like more than that. Maybe it had always been more than that but he was just afraid to admit it.
Before he could stop himself, 10k silently placed his gun next to hers on the toilet cover. He began to shed himself of his own clothes, working quickly and quietly as to not disturb her. (Y/N) had her head back with the water running over her hair and body when 10k pulled the curtain back and stepped in. She opened her eyes to look at him, shocked by his sudden appearance. She looked him up and down for a moment, her face giving away nothing.
“Gotta save water,” 10k said, trying to lighten the mood.
A smile broke out across (Y/N)’s face as a small giggle came from her lips. “Come here, 10k.”
She put a hand on the back of his neck at the same time that his hands found her waist. Their lips collided and it felt like the most right thing in the terrible, fucked up world around them. 10k’s lips moved against (Y/N)’s perfectly, as if they were supposed to be there, to be kissing her so deeply. His hands wandered over her dripping body, touching every inch of her soft skin with his calloused hands.
(Y/N) let out a sudden squeal as 10k lifted her effortlessly, wrapping her legs around his waist. She was shocked at his strength. Sure, he wasn’t as scrawny and wimpy as he may have looked, but he certainly wasn’t the strongest person in the world. He’s just full of surprises, (Y/N) noted as his lips connected with hers again.
His hard boner was against her aching core, teasing her ever so slightly with every gently brush against her. She whimpered against his lips when she felt him brush against her opening, trying to ground her hips against his to feel her inside of him. Knowing that she wanted this as much as he did made him even more turned on. He was almost afraid that he wouldn’t be able to make this moment last long enough.
He helped to guide her down onto his hard length, causing (Y/N) to gasp as he filled her entirely.
“Am I hurting you?” he asked her, suddenly realizing that he had no idea what (Y/N)’s sexual past was like.
“No,” she responded, her voice breathless and airy. “I just haven’t had sex in a very long time. I forgot how good it felt.”
10k smiled at her and pressed his lips against hers again. He pressed her back against the nearest wall and slowly began to thrust himself into her. (Y/N)’s back arched against the wall, trying to get as close to 10k as she possibly could.
He was slow and gentle, which drove (Y/N) even more wild. She held on around his neck as if her life depended on it, moaning and gasping against his lips with every thrust he pushed into her. She could barley even think straight, her mind focusing only on the pleasure that 10k was providing her.
“Is this alright?” he asked, his voice soft.
(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile. Sweet 10k, always thinking of the comfort of others, even when he was in the middle of the most intense shower sex (Y/N) had ever had.
“It’s more than alright,” she responded. “God, it feels so fucking good.”
10k had heard (Y/N) swearing many times, but hearing the expletive word slip from her breathless voice in that moment drove him wild. He rested his head against her shoulder, groaning as he pushed his hips against hers again, filling her completely.
“You feel so good,” he told her. “You’re so soft and warm, fuck.”
“Who would’ve thought that sweet 10k had a dirty side?” (Y/N) giggled.
“You must not know me well enough, then.”
“Maybe I don’t.”
Her thought was cut short as 10k pulled almost completely out of her then filled her again. Her mind was clouded with lust as she tried to rock her hips against his, begging for the release she wanted.
Noticing her desperation, 10k wrapped one arm around her lower back and slipped his free hand between them. (Y/N) gasped as his fingers connected with her swollen nerves and began to rub circles in them. She could feel a familiar pressure building inside of her. She clung to 10k’s shoulders, curses falling from her mouth in between moans of pleasure. Her legs began to shake as she felt herself hitting her climax. She threw her head back and called 10k’s name - his real name - in pleasure.
Feeling her walls contracting around him caused 10k to feel his own climax approaching. He held on to her hips as his thrusts became a little faster. Before he knew it, his eyes were nearly rolling back into his head as he felt himself filling her with his warm cum. The feeling of the warmth inside of her was enough to almost turn (Y/N) on again.
They stayed tangled together for a moment, completely forgetting about the running water cascading down onto them. It wasn’t until the warm water started to turn cold that they realized it was probably time for the two of them to get out.
Luckily for them, whoever looted the house also didn’t think to take any of the towels in the upstairs linen closet, so they had a way to dry themselves off. Before she started pulling her clothes on, 10k wrapped his arms around (Y/N) again and kissed her exposed shoulders and neck before placing one last sweet kiss against her lips.
“We should tell the others about the running water,” he said as he pulled his clothes back on. “If this place is relatively Z-less, we could probably get away with staying here for a while.”
“We’ve stayed in worst looking places,” (Y/N) agreed. “I’m sure everyone else is dying to clean themselves, too. There’s enough room for everyone to sleep with all the bedrooms and the couch downstairs.”
The reminder of the wreckage when they first entered caused a melancholy mood to wash over (Y/N) again. Noticing this, 10k brought her into his arms and held her tightly.
“I’m sorry about your house,” he said. “I’m sorry someone did this to you, that they took all the memories of this place.”
(Y/N) shook her head. “They didn’t take the memories. No one could ever take that from this place. Besides, I’d like to make some new memories here...with you.”
10k smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I think we’ve already started with that.”
(Y/N) giggled and pulled away from him. “Let’s go find everyone to tell them before they leave us abandoned.”
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shdwwlkrsblog · 3 years
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You left me once now do it again
Want it for another Charakter in an different fandom or whatever ? Request now because i wont be doing this type of post all the time only when going dark and btw we are close to 100 followers
C!techno x reader
Tw: angst , blood , child (lmao I'm sry;-;) , being left mid-pregnancy
Masterlist
Oh how will it go me a child-disliker (i only hate the loud ones) writing something like this lmao I'm also going dark again be ready for maybe a few angst posts
You were happy with techno as your partner and father of your unborn child until he left for a mission (to get the milk) and didn't come back for few days . You thought nothing of it and assumed he calculated it wrong and doesn't come home in 2 days. Like he said maybe in 7 . 7 days grew into weeks and those weeks grew into months and those grew into years . He was missed for 10 years now.
You looked down at your son standing next to you and played with a small horse you both called Henry . It was a few months old and Livian(or however you want to call him) your son really wanted his own horse and not always practice on yours . Livian was a clever kid and he really looked like... His father. You didn't want to say his name it bring to many emotions and memories up . "Moma you okay?" Your son's worried eyes stared at you " yeah I'm okay do you want to do something livi?" You both always called the other with a nickname never with their real name without it was serious . "Maybe some training i want to finally beat Micheal in a fight he's so good" Livian sighed and looked at you "and i finally want to be as strong as you are ma' " the child crossed his arms making you smile and ruffle his hair " okay I'm bringing out the training dolls get your sword and bow time to slay some dumb puppets" "yay" Livian ran into the house while you got the puppets that matched his size out of the chest next to the horses . Livian seemed to search for his sword and bow since he took longer than usual giving you time to put the puppets in their place , until you grabbed the one he made himself and quickly put it back ' that one is going to stay alive ' you thought with a smile eyeing the messy stitches and the smile he drew on it . " Momma i got it " he screamed and ran through the snow towards you .
" are you going to show me a multi shot ? " You wanted to answer but a quick movement in the corner of you eye got your attention and few seconds after that snow began to fall " mom?" " Yes? Oh sorry honey and yes I'm gonna teach you it just pull that cape over your head we don't want your hair to get wet and cold (yes when it's snowing and stuff it gets wet . Own experience) he did what you said and a strand of pink hair was visible and a bit of his pig ears . You pulled you cape over you head too and pulled out your bow and few arrows " here you put that on the middle of string for multishot " you handed the boy small thing and he applied it on the string before looking at you waiting for the next step " good , look closely your gonna put the finger all around the bowbody and lie the arrows on them at the end you put them against the thing while- " you stopped as your son shooted 2 arrows perfectly at head and heart of the nearest puppet "like that?" " Yes like that , awesome shot little boy" " thanks and IM NOT SMALL" he complained but suddenly looked at the forest " mom so ethi g is watching us but no worries I'll deal with it" you still tried to see what he saw while Livian was reloading the bow with 2 arrows taking a few seconds to aim and then shot . Only 1 waited a spilt second aiming again shooting the 2nd this time it must have hit something alive because the bushed moved as something ran off ,and you got a glimpse of an way too familiar cape " Livian Go inside and stay there I'll look what it is " "but-" " do it , you helped me enough strong boi " Livian the loyal kid he was nodded and ran unsere while you equipped a shield and an ender pearl since running would waste too much time , calculating where it would be you threw the pearl quickly equipping a sword .
Once you saw him you held the sword to his throat " what . Are. You . Doing . Here?" Voice low and calm but inside a storm of emotions you asked your lost "partner" but when the only thing coming from him were heavy breaths and blood dripping down into the snow you put your sword back and took one of his arms around your neck , then you noticed his half passed out state and the arrow in his shoulder .' i really need to pay more attention ' and 'why am I even helping him ?' were your thoughts as you dragged him into your house where you sat him on your bed while livian sneaked downstairs . You didn't notice livian when you went to the storeroom to get some healing potions . Livian used his chance and walked to the hybrid his little ironsword In his hand . Techno who was now feeling a bit more conscious looked at the small boy . "Good shot " he praised as he managed to pull the arrow out . " Don't move or I'll kill you!" The small boy stepped back and went into a fight position Techno new to good. It's the same you used when you both trained . After something that felt like hours you came back with the potions you saw livian and called him back to your side "livian dont go too near to strangers " "strangers huh y/n? " Techno asked smiling " livian please go upstairs i have to talk to this man " livian waited a bit starring at the piglin man " if you even try to hurt my mom I'll kill you painfully " he threatened techno , you were surprised by the new site of your son and watched him go upstairs . Techno was impressed but not for long as he saw a healing potion held infront of him. " drink " you hated yourself for helping him but you couldn't let him die there too . " Our son is pretty good for a ten year old" "Our? Don't you dare call him your son ," " com'on y/n don't be like that . Does he even know I'm his father ?" "No he knows his father left while I was pregnant with him. But he sees Sam as his 2nd dad" "Sam!?why him!?heh!?" Technos voice rised and you quickly covered his mouth "shh be quiet and Why do you even care?" You asked and the hybrid sighed looking at a scar on his hand ' this isn't like normal techno' you thought. " Look I'm made a mistake leaving y-" " not that shit now techno." He sighed again and looked down " y/n please I'm sorry but I had to leave " "why? " Techno suddenly stood up and put a hand on your shoulder " look i am wanted, dead . And I didn't want to be a threat for our son . Y/n I'm really sorry I should have checked on you and him and not leave you for that long . But ... I'm too dangerous" technos voice went quieter at the end and you thought about it for a while . Techno wanted to let go of your shoulder but stopped as you began to speak. " But why did you never tell me? All those years would have been less painful and he would have finally known his father" "i ... I didn't know what I was doing , the voices- " "wait you're my father?" The voice of your son came from behind you and techno looked at you you nodded knowing what he's asking he then back at livian " yeah I am" " why didn't you come home earlier?"at this point you knew livian wasn't behind you all the time because he didn't hear the reason why he left . But that wasn't the problem the problem was are you going to forgive him? Now that you know the reason you can understand him a little more. You still have some feelings for him too
What should you choose? You looked over at livian who was now hugging his biological father with a smile on his face
Bonus scenario you forgave techno
You looked outside the window with a cup of tea in your hand and saw techno and livian having a snowball fight. Since you forgave him techno was a whole other man he showed more feelings and allowed himself to be a little more childish and play with livian . Livian was happy about finally living with both of his parents . You were pushed out of your thoughts by a snowball hitting the window infront of you and techno laughing while livian smile proudly . You shook your head at those two and watched them continuing their fight
It was a good choice giving the hybrid a 2nd chance
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hope y'all enjoyed
Ask box open
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tyongxnct · 3 years
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𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 - 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘓𝘦𝘦
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pairing: Mark Lee x reader
special guest: Lee Taeyong as your older brother, brief mention of Jaemin, Jeno & Haechan
genre: angst, smut, tiny bit of fluff
warnings: drugs (don’t do drugs kids), addiction, memory loss, being high, mentions of rehab clinic, Mark physically and mentally hurting the reader, reader being unconscious, Mark’s kind of depressed, SMUT,
word count: 8.7k
note: this is based on my imagination, Mark Lee is his own person and everything that happens in my story is pure fiction. I love Mark Lee and this story just popped up in my head and I wanted to write it down.
extra note: didn’t really proofread this, might have grammer and spelling mistakes
A/N: hey! I’m so excited to finally post ‘love me again’! I’m super nervous and I really hope that you have fun while reading this. I had to repost this because it wasn’t showing up in the tags :(
taglist: @luvlyjaemin​ @silent-potato​ @markshearts​ @likelikeines
song rec: courage to change - sia
© tyongxnct on all platforms
“Please Mark, we just want the best for you…”, Mark’s mother cried.
“No you don’t! You have no idea what’s the best for me. You decided to move here, and I accepted it because it’s the best for you! You decided to divorce, and I didn’t say anything because, again, it’s the best for you! Now you’re thinking about what’s the best for me? Suddenly my feelings are important?! You two know nothing! Nothing. So don’t stick your noses into my fucking business!”, Mark yelled at his parents, finally letting out what he really thought and felt about his family.
“Son, we know it’s hard for you- “, his father tried to calm his son down.
“No, dad. No you don’t. Don’t act like you thought about me when you decided to leave Canada! I was happy there! And maybe you’d still be married!”, he was so angry and high, but it didn’t help him to ignore his parents- to stay calm, he was furious, and he needed his pills. “I’m leaving.”
Mark left his parents and ran straight to your house. He was high already, but he needed more, he needed his pills. After the fight with his parents, Mark was about to explode, and he did.
Mark knocked on your front door harshly and you opened the door with concern in your eyes. “Mark? Are you alright- “, he pushed you to the side and ran upstairs. “Where the fuck did you put them?!”, Mark’s body was trembling, his eyes red and his pupils wide. “Mark? What are you doing?”, you asked as you watched your boyfriend look through your shelves and closet, everything was a mess, but he didn’t care.
You held his arm to stop him, but he shoved you away. “WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY (Y/N)?!”, he yelled at you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Mark. Please calm down… You’re scaring me.”, you were scared and worried. He grabbed both of your wrists and looked at you furiously. “Where are my fucking pills (Y/n)?!”
“Mark are you high again? I thought- “, you started but he interrupted you. “I ASKED YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! ANSWER ME!”. You were more than scared right now, you hoped that you could help him, but Mark was high and that means that he’s not the Mark you’ve known. He’s that monster who hurts you and he didn’t even care.
“I- I flushed them down the toilette…”, you confessed.
You were too scared to look up, you could feel his hands around you tighten, and it hurt. “You did what?”, he asked through gritted teeth.
“I-I’m sorry but I don’t want you to take them- you don’t need them- “, tears were falling down your cheeks.
“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?! HUH?!”, he was hurting you. Mark Lee, the love of your life was hurting you.
“P-Please… I’m sorry- I just wanted to help. I thought I could help you…”
“Help? You wanted to help? Do you have the slightest idea of how much those pills costed me?! Huh?! You know nothing! You’re just a fucking piece of shit. I don’t fucking need you do you hear me?!”, he yelled again.
“Mark- “, you said in pain.
“You’re fucking useless. I don’t want to see you ever again.”, there was no emotion as he talked.
Mark let go of you and left your room, you followed him, he was high, and you were scared to leave him alone even though he just destroyed you with his words.
He really chose drugs over you.
A tiny little voice in the back of your head always told you that this would happen, but you ignored it because you loved him. Your arms hurt, Marks grip was really strong, and it probably would leave bruises. “Mark please don’t leave- please don’t go.”, you ran after him and hugged him from behind before he could walk down the stairs.
“You don’t understand it, do you? You’ll never be enough! Let me fucking go!”, he yelled as he tried to get out of your grip. “No! I know that you don’t mean it! I know that the drugs are taking over and that this is not you talking!”. Mark grabbed your hands and pushed them away, harshly. “Let me go!”, he was screaming again. “No Mark please don’t go… “, you tried to hold him again, but it was useless, he was stronger than you.
You two pulled at each other and before he could stop himself, he pushed you down the stairs. Everything was in slow motion, as he locked eyes with you and saw the fear in your eyes. You closed your eyes and Mark tried to hold you, but he couldn’t reach you, and then you were rolling down the stairs. “NO!”, Mark yelled as he tried to catch you.
You were laying on the floor and you weren’t moving. Mark’s hands were trembling, and tears fell down his cheeks. He looked at you and he didn’t know what to do. Why weren’t you moving? Is that… is that blood?
Mark rushed down the stairs and kneed down. “B-Baby?”, he took your head between his hands and looked at you face. You were unconscious and your forehead was bleeding. “H-Hey… D-Do you hear me? Open your eyes, please open your eyes!”, Mark’s tears landed on your face. “Baby please open your eyes…”, he shook your body, but you didn’t wake up. Mark didn’t know what to do.
Suddenly the front door was opened by your older brother, Taeyong. “I’m home- “, he stopped talking as he saw you in Mark’s arms. “M-Mark?”, Taeyong was scared. “I didn’t mean to! I swear it was an accident! I would never hurt her hyung I didn’t mean anything I said.”, Mark cried as he pulled your body closer. Taeyong came closer and saw you bleeding. “Fuck! Why didn’t you call an ambulance!”, Taeyong yelled at Mark as he called the ambulance before it was too late.
“I love you please open your eyes. I’m so sorry, I need you please don’t leave me! Hyung it was an a-accident. I didn’t mean to!”, Mark cried and cried. Taeyong saw red. Did Mark do that to you? “Are you fucking high again?!”, Taeyong didn’t want to hurt you but he pulled your body to his, taking you away from Mark. “Hyung please I’m sorry…”, Mark’s whole body was trembling. The tears never stopped, and the pain and regret were eating him alive.
The next thing Mark remembered was when he was waiting in front of the emergency room. Taeyong and your mother were also there, your mother still didn’t know what exactly happened. But the way Taeyong looked at Mark, with so much disgust and hate, broke Mark’s heart.
Mark prayed. He prayed for your safety and he promised himself to never do drugs again. It was his fault, he hurt you. Physically and mentally hurt you. He could never forgive himself, you loved him even though he was a fucking drug addict, you were always there for him and now you were in a fucking emergency room.
The doctor finally came out and smiled at your mother. “You don’t have to worry, everything went fine. She’s asleep now, but she’ll be taken to her room.”
“Thank you so much, Doctor Byun.”, you mother was relieved. “And thank you Mark for being with her, I wouldn’t know what had happened If she- “, your mother said. “Stop mom, it was him.”, Taeyong said with anger. “What do you mean?”, she asked. Mark looked down, too ashamed to look your mother in the eyes.
“He pushed her. She fell because of him, She fell because Mark was high and lost his mind. In fact, you’re still high, right?!”, he yelled at him, pushing him with his hands.
Mark didn’t stop Taeyong from doing so.
“Mrs. Lee… I didn’t want that to happen- “
“Leave.”, she just said with a low voice.
Mark fell on his knees, “I’m sorry, please I can’t live without her… please forgive me I love her so much…”, he cried.
“You love her? You think this is love? Mark, I treated you like my own son! I accepted you with open arms because she loved you so much! I defended you in front of your parents and this is how my daughter has to pay? For loving you? Is that her punishment?”, she was crying, your mother felt betrayed.
You always told her, how much you loved Mark and how you helped him through his parent’s divorce, but you never told her about his addiction. You really thought you could help him with that, that he would stop taking them, but in the end you were wrong.
“I know, I know I’m so sorry… I’ll stop I swear I’ll stop!”, Mark couldn’t lose you.
“Do you think I’ll let you near my sister ever again?”, Taeyong said.
“No hyung please please don’t! I’m begging you I need her!”
But Taeyong’s decision was final.
ONE YEAR LATER
Today was Mark’s anniversary. It’s been a whole year since he became clean. It was his own decision to go to a rehab clinic, his parents were more than happy to hear that. After what happened to you, Mark wanted to change. Change his habits, change his lifestyle and just be better, be worthy for your love. Mark was allowed to go home after a year in the rehab clinic, he missed his last year of high school, which he needed to go to again to graduate officially.
You were always on Mark’s mind, the bad memories, and the good ones. He would fall asleep thinking of your pretty smile and wake up crying to your unconscious body. He never talked to you again and he still loved you, no, he loved you even more now. You were his light in the darkness, the reason to become better. Mark wanted to be a better man for you.
“Welcome home honey.”, Mark’s mother hugged her son, tears falling down her cheeks. “Are you sure you are ready to come back home? If you want to we can move- or we can go back to Canada, just tell me how I can make you happy.” Mark and his parents lived in Canada until he was almost 17, they moved to Korea and that’s how you met. They moved into the house across the street and you became friends. Mark first hated Korea, he wanted to go back to Canada, to his friends, and after his parents started fighting all the time, they got divorced. His father moved out and left him. He blamed Korea for his parent’s divorce. Mark was angry. Angry that his parents were getting a divorce, that he left his whole life in Canada, but the only good thing in his life was you. After spending so much time together, sneaking out after midnight, making out in your room or his until one day you two took a step further and had sex. You were each other’s first times and you fell in love, Mark would have left Korea If you weren’t here. Mark’s mind wandered to the first night you had spent with him in his room. The first time he had touched you, the first time you had sex.
Flashback
You were cuddling with Mark on his bed under the covers, you were watching friends on his TV and he was hugging you from behind. Mark and you were together for almost 5 months now, both of you knew that just being friends was something you didn’t want. You could say it was love at first sight for both of you.
Mark kissed your cheek and slowly kissed his way to your neck. He placed wet kisses on your neck and his hand was under your shirt, caressing your skin with his thumb. He stopped kissing you and started sucking and nibbling on your skin. You closed your eyes as you felt Mark so close to you, making you feel drunk on his kisses.
The furthest you and Mark went was making out. He never asked you to do more, he was waiting for you to be ready. Sometimes, you wanted him to go further but it was never the right time, you wanted him to touch you and you wanted to touch him.
You let out a soft moan and turned around, your butt slightly stroking his crotch. You kissed him on the lips, first it was slow and sweet, but he nibbed on your lips and you opened your mouth to give him access. Your tongues were fighting for dominance, his hand was on your butt, softly squeezing it and he pulled you on his lap, his lips never leaving your lips. Mark was laying on the bed with you on top of him, you moved your hips, which made Mark moan. His hands were on your butt, pressing you against his member to feel you better.
You broke your kiss and pulled back to sit on his lap. Your lips red and puffy and Mark was breathing heavily. You looked him straight into the eyes as you put your hands under your shirt to take off your bra. After you took it off, you threw it on the floor and your eyes never left Marks. “Give me your hand.”, you said. Mark slowly gave you his hand and watched you how you put his hand on your boob. Your hand was still on his as you gently squeezed your boob with his hand. “Touch me.”, you whispered.
You could feel Mark getting harder under you. He gulped and looked at you. “A-Are you sure?”, he asked. “Yes. Please touch me.”
Mark licked over his lips as he put his other hand on your other boob, squeezing both of them. His thumb was on your nipple, playing with them. “Can I take off your shirt?”, he asked you now. You just nodded. Mark tossed away your shirt and he gulped again as he saw you half naked on top of him. Mark sat up a little and was laying against his bedrest, your boobs right in front of his face. His face got closer to your breast and you felt his tongue on your nipple. He softly licked your nipple and with his hand, he played with the other one. You moaned, it felt so good having Mark’s mouth and hands on your breasts.
Mark started sucking on your breast, making you moan even more. You were wet and feeling Mark’s hard member against your pussy made you even wetter. “God Mark it feels so good.”, you moaned. His mouth travelled to your collarbones, he sucked and left Marks, he loved it.
“Mark I-I need you, please.”, you cried out. “Are you sure babe?”, he asked you while he flicked your nipple with his fingers.
“Yes yes please just… just fuck me.”
Within a second, Mark turned you so that you were under him now, your boobs bouncing while doing so and making him lick over his lips again.
“Okay babe just tell me to stop If you don’t want me to go further.”, he pecked your lips and smiled at you. You nodded and smiled back, your heart was racing.
Mark took off his shirt and you stared at his exposed body, you couldn’t believe that this guy was you boyfriend. You felt so lucky.
“I need to prepare you a little more baby.”, without telling you how, he slowly took off your sweatpants, leaving you in your panties. Mark kissed your pussy over the fabric of your underwear. “My baby’s so cute.”  
You could feel Mark’s finger against your pussy over your underwear, spreading your wetness and drenching your panties. “So wet.”
Mark almost ripped your panties as he took it off, he wanted to taste you so bad. With his hands, he pushed your legs apart, his face right in front of your wet pussy. You could feel his breathe against your wetness and he licked your pussy with kitten licks once and then again and again. You moaned as you felt his tongue. “Shit- Mark- “, his tongue played with your clit, and you thought it couldn’t feel any better, but Mark slowly pushed one finger inside of you. You clenched around his finger and he cursed. “Fuck baby, you’re fucking tight.”, he kissed your pussy and sucked on your clit, after he inserted another finger inside of you, you couldn’t handle it anymore. “Mark it feel so good, I’m gonna cum.”
He fucked you with his fingers faster and his mouth did wonders down there. You hit your first ever climax and you could see the stars. Your grip around the bedsheet tightened and you moaned out. Mark put his hand on your mouth, his mother was still downstairs. “Baby If you keep being so loud my mother is going to hear you.”
You were breathing in and out as you giggled. He held his fingers, which were inside of you a couple seconds ago, to your mouth and looked at you. “Suck.”, you did as he told you, slowly sucking his fingers and tasting yourself.
Mark pulled his pants and boxers down, your mouth wide open as you saw his cock straight as straight as possible and precum on his tip. He was about to get a condom from his nightstand but then he could feel your hand around his cock. He hissed at that feeling. “Fuck- babe- “, your hand slowly pumped his cock and Mark didn’t know what to do. He wanted you to suck his dick, he wanted to be inside of you, and he wanted you to keep pumping him.
It seems like you were going to fullfill all of his wishes.
Mark felt your tongue on the tip of his cock. You licked him like a lollipop and sucked on his tip. Slowly, you didn’t want to hurt him, you put his cock inside of your mouth, Mark moaned loudly and closed his eyes for a second but opened them right after to watch you sucking his dick.
You bobbed your head up and down and it didn’t take Mark long to cum. “Babe I’m gonna cum, fuck you’re so good at this, fuck- “, he exploded inside of your mouth, and you swallowed every drip.
“You have no idea how hot you are- fuck, I’m gonna fuck you so good.”, Mark pressed you down on the mattress.
With his knees, he pushed your legs apart again, now to enter you with his cock. He pulled the condom down and placed his member at your entrance. “Are you ready baby?”, he asked you again.
“I’m ready- I love you.”
“I love you so much.”, he said as he slowly pressed his tip against your entrance. Mark slowly pushed his cock inside of your cunt and your gripped the bedsheets tightly. “I’ll stay like this a little.”, he didn’t move until you assured him that he could.
Pain slowly became pleasure, and you were almost begging Mark to go faster. “Please it feels so good.”
Mark rammed his cock inside of your pussy, and he kissed you, because you were moaning so loud, he was scared that the whole neighborhood could hear you.
“Mark I’m gonna- fuck- I’m gonna cum, god!”
“Me too babe, I’m gonna cum so hard.”, Mark’s hand travelled to your clit, circling it with his thumb and with that, you reached your climax. You clenched around Mark’s dick and you were so tight already, that he also came. He closed both of your mouths as he kissed you and he was still inside of you until you calmed down.
“Thank you Mark, I love you.”
“I love you, too. Forever.”
Mark started doing drugs with his friends Jeno, Jaemin and Donghyuck, it was harmless at first, just one or two joints, but behind your back he sometimes did coke. When you found out, he promised you that it was just a one-time thing, just to try it. But whenever you went to a party together, or just hung out, he did it over and over again. You didn’t need any drugs to be happy- after your father’s death, your brother, mother, and Mark helped you go through the pain. You wanted to help Mark, too, but he told you that there’s no pain to be erased. He was doing drugs ‘Just for fun’. You tried to stop him, you told him that he didn’t need any of this, but Mark never listened, he just pushed you away and stopped seeing you as often as before. When he started to take the pills, you did everything to stop him, flushing the pills down the toilette, hide his coke from him, tried to stop him from drinking, but you all know how that ended.
“Mom, I’m alright, and no, I want to stay here, I changed. Everything’s going to be alright.”, he hugged his mother back as he looked out of the window, staring at you room across the street.
Mark was in his room, nothing changed, he unpacked his back and he saw the picture of you next to his bed on his nightstand. He held the picture in his hand and looked at your pretty smile. His sight became blurry and he tried to stop the tears. No more crying, he believes that everything’s going to be perfect. He needs a little more time until he was ready to face you, your mother and brother.
First day of his last year in high school. Mark was beyond nervous and scared. You were probably in college now, on your way to become a teacher. It was always your dream to teach children, you adored them, and you always imagined a life with Mark as the father of your children.
Mark was really early on his first day, he was sitting in the classroom, next to the window. Memories flooded his mind of you two in high school. How you skipped class just to go to McDonald’s, how you went to the rooftop to make out and how you waited for him after, well, after he smoked joints with his friends behind the school.
The bell rang and everyone entered the class, what Mark didn’t except to see was you, entering the class while talking to a girl. His world stopped turning. Why were you here? Did you see him already? What were you talking about and why did you smile like that?
You saw someone staring at you, but you didn’t pay attention to that, you sat down and listened to your teacher.
“Good morning, everyone. I have an announcement to make. We have two new students in class. Mark and (Y/n). They both missed a year, please tread them nicely.”
Mark’s palms were sweaty, he couldn’t focus. You were here, here with him, but why?
After class ended, you packed your things and left the classroom with that girl you talked to when you entered. Mark needed to do something, he just had to.
He ran after you and called your name. “(Y/n)! Wait!”
You turned around, your new friend said goodbye and left you there with Mark. “Yes?”, you asked confused.
Mark stuttered “H-Hi. I-It’s been a while.. “
“Uhm hey? Sorry but, do I know you?”, you asked, very confused by his words.
Mark stopped breathing, were you going to act as if you didn’t know him? His heart was beating against his chest and he felt like collapsing.
He didn’t say anything, and you talked again. “I’m sorry but I lost my memory, did we go to high school together last year?”, Mark was speechless, you had lost your memory?
“Y-You lost your memory? H-How If I may ask?”
“I fell down the stairs, it’s a little embarrassing, I’m a little clumsy. I’ve spent a couple months in hospital last year, that’s why I am here again. And you?”, you thought making friends would be a great idea.
“O-Oh I’m sorry…”, Mark stuttered, he didn’t know what to do. Should he tell you that it was his fault? Should he tell you that he’s your boyfr- your ex-boyfriend?
“It’s alright, It just sucks that I can’t remember my life, like the most important time of my teenage years, you know? So, were we friends? Did you know me?”, you were too nice, he didn’t deserve that.
“Uhm… no, I mean we were in the same class, and, uh, you were always nice to everyone and you were always smiling and stuff…”, he blushed.
“Do you want to go to McDonald’s with me? I know we just kind of met but I want to hear more about last year, about everything I forgot, you don’t have to, of course.”, you didn’t know why, but your heart beats faster as you talked to that guy you didn’t even remember.
“Sure, yeah I’d love to.”, spending time with you? Mark would never say no to that.
You were sitting next to Mark as he told you stories about your past.
“One day, Mr. Jung send you to detention because you were eating a happy meal in the middle of class.”, he told you and you laughed for the first time since forever.
“No way!”
“You really did that, it was hilarious. And oh, we sneaked out before your detention ended to eat another happy meal- “, he stopped talking as he told you about a memory you shared. “We? I thought we weren’t close.”, you asked.
“I mean you, I-I just said we because we were just eating a happy meal.”, he tried to safe himself.
And that’s how your relationship with Mark Lee started again. You didn’t know that he was your neighbor, you didn’t know that he was your ex-boyfriend and the reason for your memory loss.
Mark and you got closer in the last couple of months, nobody knew that though, not your family and not his, you slowly but deeply fell in love with him and since he loved you already, it didn’t take you long to skip class and go to the roof to make out.
Mark wanted to tell you everything, he wanted to tell you that you have a history together, but he was scared, scared of losing you forever.
“Babe?”, he said.
“Yeah?”, you mumbled, eyes closed. Your head was on his thigh as he caressed your hair softly.
“I love you.”, he confessed.
You opened your eyes immediately and looked at him with big round eyes. “I love you.”, he said again.
“I love you too.”, you got up and sat next to him. You held his hand as you locked eyes. “Can I kiss you?”, he asked softly.
You nodded. You didn’t even know If you had your first kiss, or even a boyfriend, but it felt right. Everything about Mark felt right.
“Before I met you, I was really sad that I couldn’t remember anything, but If I hadn’t lost my memory, we’d never be like this- together. I’m glad that I fell.”
“No!”, he said, raising his voice a little. “I mean, don’t say that. You lost your memory and I’m just.. me. I don’t know I just- I’m also happy that I met you.”, he smiled at you and then he kissed your forehead. “I’m going to fill you pretty head with the greatest memories ever.”
Mark never brought you home, he would always go another way, wait and then he’d go home, when it was dark outside. His mother was a little worried, and after 3 months, your family still didn’t know that he was back.
You’ve been officially dating for a whole month now. It was your one-month anniversary and Mark asked you out. It was a simple date, a dinner and then going to the movies. You didn’t tell your mother that you were going on a date, you told her that you’d meet your new friends from school.
Mark was leaning against his car as you arrived at the restaurant- looking absolutely pretty in your black dress.
“Baby you look gorgeous.”, he pecked your lips. “Sorry that I couldn’t pick you up.”
“It’s alright. My brother drove me.”
His heart stopped beating.
“Y-your brother? I-Is he here?”, he tried to hide behind you. “Don’t worry babe, he let me out on the other side of the street. He didn’t see you.”, you smiled.
Mark was relieved. “Okay, good. I wouldn’t want him to see me with his, uhm, little sister.”
“I would also prefer that you two meet after I tell him that you exist.”, you smiled at him. He shuddered. “You’re going to tell him about us?”
“Of course, you’re my boyfriend and he’s my brother, I don’t want to keep you as a secret.”
Mark gulped, his hands were sweaty, and he was scared.
You entered the restaurant, a little Italian restaurant that looked really pretty. “Wow Mark this place is so great.”, you changed the topic and Mark wasn’t even really listening. His heartbeat louder than your voice. “It kinda feels familiar.”, maybe it was because your first official date with Mark was also here.
You also sat down at your usual place, which you, of course, didn’t know. “Do you think I was here before?”, you asked him as your eyes scanned the restaurant. “I don’t know.. maybe.”
“Are you ready to order?”, the waiter asked and without even glancing at the menu you ordered. “I’d like to have pasta with chicken.”
Mark looked at you, he was confused. What are the odds that you order the same meal you always ordered here. He ordered the pizza he also always ordered, hoping it was just coincidence.
After almost 30 minutes, your orders came. Suddenly, your head hurt. Images of this place rushed through your head. You were eating your Pasta, but you weren’t alone, there was someone with you, but you couldn’t recognize that person.
“Shit what was that.”, you held your head and closed your eyes. “Are you alright babe?”, Mark held your hand and looked at you with worry in his eyes. “Yeah it’s just- This place, I was here before with someone and I was eating exactly the same thing- but I don’t really know. It felt like a déjà vu.”
Mark’s heart was about to fall out of his chest. “M-Maybe it was your brother.”
“Probably.”, you smiled.
After your dinner and the movie you watched (which you couldn’t even really watch because Mark was so close and his hand was holding yours), you left and drove to a perfect spot to talk and, well, make out.
It started with a simple kiss, but now you were sitting on his lap on the backseat as you kissed him, his hands all over your body. You were so close to him, he was losing his mind. Your dress couldn’t even cover your body. His hands on your thighs pulling you closer as his tongue slipped into your mouth.
“M-Mark.”, you moaned as his lips now sucked on your neck.
You could feel him getting harder and harder and you wanted him, you wanted more, but you didn’t want to lose your virginity on the backseat of a car.
“M-Mark, fuck, wait- “, and he stopped before his hand could reach your panties. “Y-Yeah? Am I going too fast?”, he asked, breathing heavily.
“N-No, it’s just- I’m still a virgin.”, you said shyly.
“No- oh wait- “, he stopped talking as soon as he remembered that you didn’t remember. “Y-You’re right, I’m sorry, I got carried away.”, he blushed. After a whole year without touching you- feeling you, his mind was fuzzy. “It’s alright- I just want to do it, uhm, in a bed or something…”, you were still sitting on his lap, and when you moved your body, Mark moaned. “Y-You- Stop moving like this.”
“Oh yeah right sorry.”, how embarrassing, you thought.
“I’ll take you home now okay baby? Did you have fun tonight?”, he asked. It was late and completely dark outside, he’d never let you go home alone.
“It was an amazing day, thank you.”, you pecked his lips one last time before you moved to the front seat with him.
As Mark drove you home, he remembered that one last time you had sex. It wasn’t a good memory, maybe even one of the worst.
Flashback
“Mark? Where the hell were you? It’s fucking 4 am in the morning!”
Mark forgot that you were coming over, he was with his friends, doing things you didn’t want him to do and now he had to deal with you.
You noticed that he was drunk and high again. “Mark do you want to kill yourself? Did you lose your mind?”, Mark ignored you as he took off his shirt to change to his pajama. You were standing next to him as you tried to get answers.
“I really don’t want to talk to you right now, my head’s about to explode.”, Mark took off his pants as he ignored your presence.
“You don’t want to talk to me? I’m sorry but I texted you and called you hundred times. You could at least tell me where you were, or with whom and when you were coming home. Or just text me that you were safe. I was fucking worried!”, the last couple weeks were always like this, you talking and him ignoring you.
Mark jumped on his bed, getting angrier every passing second. “I told you to shut up.”
“No, I won’t shut up. You are acting like a stupid asshole. You need to stop, Mark please I’m begging you, stop this.”, you weren’t angry anymore, you were worried and sad.
“It’s none of your business.”, he said coldly, his world was spinning but he didn’t care.
“It is. I am your girlfriend, and I don’t want my boyfriend to kill himself because of his stupid friend and stupid drugs.”
You were standing in front of Mark and now he was looking up to you. “Right. You’re my girlfriend.”, he gripped your wrists and pulled you to him. He changed your positions, you were now under him.
“M-Mark.”
“If you are my girlfriend I can do this right?”, he kissed you on the lips, his cold hand under your shirt. You kissed him back, it felt like you didn’t kiss Mark for years. You had missed it, even If he just ignored the fact that you were worried.
He kissed his way down to you neck. You moaned as you felt his hand on your boob. “Let me take this off, alright babe?”, he asked you. You nodded.
Mark took off your bra and shirt and tossed it away. He kissed your boobs and sucked on your nipples. You felt yourself getting wetter and Mark was hard, even though he was still high and drunk. “Gonna fuck you, okay baby?”, he was suddenly sweet and nice to you. You were happy that he still asked you If you were okay with having sex. “Yes please.”, you moaned.
He took off your jeans and your panties, going straight to you pussy with his fingers and tongue. Without hesitating he pushed two fingers inside of you. “Fuck.”, it hurt a little, but it was alright. Mark sucked on your clit and he was so hard that he stopped before you came. “M-Mark fuck I was about to cum.”, he didn’t care. He looked for a condom in his nightstand and then you felt him against you entrance. You were still really tight, and you thought he’d be slow, but he rammed his cock inside of you.
And he didn’t stop, he penetrated your pussy with hard thrusts and tears formed in the corner of your eyes. “M-Mark… too much- “, but Mark was in trance, he pulled out, you thought he’d be slower now, but he just turned your around so that you were on all four. He gripped your hips, probably leaving bruises.
Again, Mark pushed his cock deep inside of your pussy, his thrusts were hard and fast, his hand was on your clit, circling it and you came. “Mark, stop- it hurts, please.”, you cried as Mark overstimulated you. With his other hand he grabbed your boob and finally released his seeds into the condom.
Your body arched, the way Mark fucked you so roughly was too much for you. You could barely move your legs as you wiped away your tears.
Mark was breathing heavily as he threw the condom into the trashcan.
You hid your body under his blanket. Mark slowly realized how you told him to stop, and how he didn’t listen.
Mark put on his boxers as he went to his bathroom to get a towel. “Let me clean you up.”, he asked slowly. “No, I-I can do it myself.”
He only nodded as he looked at you with heavy eyes. “I’m sorry that I didn’t stop, I didn’t want to hurt you.”, he was about to cry as he saw the pain in your eyes. “I just, I thought you’d like it, I don’t know why I did that.”, you knew why. The drugs, his friends. Everything, just everything around him changed him and made him rougher. Maybe even you.
“Just forget it, Mark.”, you told him, but you meant yourself. You tried to forget that he hurt you like that. “I’m going home.”
He remembered that day, no matter how much he tried to forget it. He was disgusted and angry at himself. He slowly turned to a monster and even If you tried to save him, he was too blind.
Mark wore a cap in the car, you didn’t question why, he stopped on the other side of your house, on his side of the street. The lights in his house were on, even though it was past midnight.  “You know, I have no idea who lives in that house, my brother told me that a woman lives there and that’s it. And I never met her, well, as far as I can remember.”
“Maybe it’s better that way, who knows.”
“You’re right.”, you looked at him. “I love you Mark.”
“I love you more, (Y/n). You have no idea how much I love you.”, before he started crying, you kissed his cheek and went home. Mark couldn’t go home yet. He drove two streets further. He cried and cried, he didn’t know If lying to you was better than telling you the truth, the ugly truth.
You were in the cafeteria eating your sandwich with Mark as one of your old teachers approached you. She was your math teacher last year but obviously you didn’t remember but Mark did.
“Hello, you two, it’s nice to see you still together after last year. How are you feeling (Y/n)? You’ve spent so much time in hospital last year, we all missed you.”, she said.
You were confused. What did she mean with still together?
“Uhm, I’m much better now, I think Mrs.- “, you had no idea who that woman in front of you was. “Oh right I’m sorry- Mrs. Kim. I was your math teacher last year.”, Mrs. Kim smiled at you two. You were so confused that you didn’t notice Mark being nervous next to you. He was scared that Mrs. Kim would say more about your relationship with him.
“So do you remember Mark?”, she asked.
Mark’s eyes widened, he chocked on his juice and you did not understand anything.
“No, not really.”, you said with a sad smile.
“Oh, but look, you still found each other again.”
Before Mrs. Kim could say anything more, the bell rang, and Mark could finally breath again.
“Mrs. Kim we really have to go to class now.”, Mark grabbed your hand and pulled you with him.
“Mark what did she mean?”, you asked him, but he ignored you. “Mark? Can you let go?”, Mark’s grip tightened, and it started hurting.
He pulled you to the rooftop, ignoring the fact that you indeed had to go to class. “Mark you’re hurting me.”, you finally said, and he immediately let go.
“W-what? I’m sorry I didn’t want to! I’m sorry I didn’t want to hurt you please forgive me.”, Mark hugged you tightly and apologized. He hated to hear that he hurt you.
“Hey, calm down. It’s alright. But please tell me what Mrs. Kim was talking about.”, you hugged him back to assure him that it was alright.
“I don’t know, I guess she talked about how we ended in the same class again or something. I really don’t know.” he said as he placed a sweet little kiss on your neck.
“Oh, okay.”
Mark kissed his way from your neck up to your mouth. He kissed you slowly, his hand on your cheek slowly stroking your skin with his thumb. He entered your mouth with his tongue and the slow kiss turned to a heavy make-out session.
You were so lost in the kiss that you didn’t notice the raindrops slowly falling. It started raining heavily and as you kissed Mark, your head hurt again. Your lips left his and you closed your eyes, holding your head tightly.
“Shit shit Mark it hurts.”, the images In your head felt familiar, the way you kissed Mark on the rooftop of your school under the rain felt so familiar.
It felt familiar because It happened already.
Flashback
“Mark are you crazy? It’s raining!”, you laughed at your boyfriend who insisted to skip class to go to the rooftop.
“What about it? It’s just rain babe.”, Mark was standing in the middle of the rooftop, completely wet. He looked up to the sky, eyes closed and a big smile on his face.
“Your gonna get sick!”, but Mark didn’t care.
“Come here! Let’s get sick together and we can stay at home and cuddle!”, you laughed at his comment.
“Fuck it.”, you ran to Mark and hugged him tightly. “It’s so cold!”, you were freezing.
“I’ll keep you warm.”, and then Mark placed his lips on yours.
You really felt warmer, with his arms around you and his soft lips on yours. You made out under the rain until it stopped, and the dark clouds were gone, and the sun shined again. “Look a rainbow! Make a wish!”, you said as you looked up to the sky.
“My wish has already come true.”, you didn’t notice the way he looked at you. But after a couple months he stopped looking at you like you were the most important thing in his life. Mark slowly replaced you with drugs.
Bit by bit, your memories came back, but you weren’t sure If your mind was playing with you or If the memories actually happened.
Two weeks later, you were smiling so hard because of a sweet text Mark had sent you and Taeyong caught you. “Why are you smiling like that?”, he asked you. You mother was out, grocery shopping, and your older brother wanted to hang out with you, help you to remember a couple things.
“Alright, I’ll tell you. But don’t do that older brother cringe shit, okay?”, you smiled brightly. “Okay, I promise.”
“I, uhm, I have a boyfriend.”, you confessed.
“You? A boyfriend?”, he asked mockingly. “Shut up! I’m serious.”, you laughed. “Alright alright. So, tell me about him.”
“Well, just like me he’s repeating the last school year because he missed it. He’s super cute and so adorable, he’s like a little puppy you’d want to cuddle forever. He’s born August 2nd and he’s a Leo.”
“What’s his name?”, your brother asked casually as he ate chips. “His name’s Mark, he lived in Canada, that’s why he missed- “
“What the fuck are you saying?!”, Taeyong yelled.
“W-What?”, his sudden outburst surprised you. “His name’s M-Mark.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”, Taeyong yelled again. “Yong, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”
“You stay here, you hear me?!”, you nodded even though you were really confused. Taeyong ran straight out of the house as you watched him through the window, running across the street and hammering on the door of your mysterious neighbor.
“Open the door!”, Taeyong yelled.
You were too curious to just stay here, and you didn’t understand anything that’s why you ignored Taeyong order and ran after him.
“What is going on- Taeyong?”, a woman, your mother’s age, opened the door with a shocked expression.
“He’s here isn’t he?! When did he come back and why didn’t you tell us?! I told you not to let him close to my sister ever again- “, he yelled but someone interrupted him, someone you didn’t except to see there.
“Mom what’s going- H-hyung?”, Mark almost dropped his phone as he saw Taeyong’s angry face, he could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears. Mark’s eyes travelled behind Taeyong, meeting yours.
“I told you to stay away from her! I told you to leave her the fuck alone!”, Taeyong screamed.
“M-Mark? W-What are you doing in… in that house?”, you were so confused, scared and your head started hurting.
“I-I can explain- ““No! You can’t explain shit! Didn’t I tell you to stay away from her? Are you fucking addicted to hurting her? She lost her memory because of you!”, Taeyong referred to Mark’s addiction before. Everything started to make sense, the déjà vu’s you had whenever you were with Mark, his fear of meeting your brother, his overprotectiveness and shit, even Mrs. Kim was so obvious about your connection with Mark.
“Hyung please just listen to me, I changed- I’m not the same anymore. I’m a better person now- “
“A better person?! You’re using her! Again! You’re using her memory loss! You’ll never be- “
“(Y/n)!”, Mark yelled as he saw you collapsing on the floor with blood coming out of your nose. Your head hurt so much like never before, seeing Mark in that house, that woman and just everything right now was too much. Why did they know each other? Scenarios of Mark, Taeyong and you played in your head. How you hung out together, how you talked to Taeyong about Mark and the memory of you talking to Mark’s mom about Mark’s addiction. It was too much.
You woke up with a heavy headache. Taeyong sitting right next to you and your mother on the other side. “W-Where’s Mark.”, was the first thing you asked. “I’m calling the doctor.”, Taeyong said coldly.
“M-Mom? My head hurts.”, you said. Your mother placed a kiss on your forehead. “Everything will be alright, honey.”
You fell asleep again, too exhausted because of the memories that came back. You dreamed of moments with Mark, moments that felt so real, moments that actually happened but you couldn’t remember before. Mark and you going to McDonald’s after midnight. Mark and you making out in your bedroom. Mark’s hands all over your body as you two had sex. Mark yelling at you, throwing things on the floor and just hurting you. Mark being high and fighting with someone who wanted to dance with you at a party. Many memories of you crying and him yelling. All your memories came back, many puzzle pieces finally together.
You remembered everything.
Mark played with you, again. He broke your heart, again, and you had lost your memory because of him.
You didn’t tell anyone that your memories came back. You wanted to talk to Mark about everything first, you wanted to hear him tell you the truth and that’s why you texted him to meet you at the rooftop.
“I was so worried.” as soon as Mark arrived, he hugged you from behind. “Are you alright, princess? I’m sorry that I couldn’t visit- “, you interrupted him “You can stop the act now, Mark.”
“W-What do you mean?”, he knew exactly what you were talking about.
“Were you ever going to tell me?”, you asked, trying to hold in your tears.
“Babe- “
“I asked you a question!”, you raised your voice. “I wanted to. I swear I wanted to tell you, but I was so scared.”
You pushed his arms away and turned to him. “I can remember. Everything.”
“I-It was an accident, I love you. I always loved you.”, he cried.
“Not as much as you loved your drugs.”, you were tired, your head was arching.
“No that’s not true… I-I changed… I went to rehab I’m clean… I love you”, he couldn’t even look you in the eyes. “And all you needed was to push me down the stairs to become clean?”, you allowed your tears to fall down no, it hurt too much to hold them in.
“I’m so sorry, I love you.”
“You told me that I’m useless. You told me that you never wanted to see me again, you told me that I’m a piece of shit. If so, why did you make me fall in love with you again?”, your voice cold as ice and your eyes empty.
“I didn’t mean any of it. I was high and… and angry and just stupid, I promise you I- “, Mark fell on his knees, holding onto your legs. “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it.”, he repeated his words over and over again. “I didn’t mean it, please forgive me. Please I love you so much. I can’t live without you.”
“I don’t even know you.”
“You do. You know me! I’m Mark, the Mark who loves you forever until his last breath, I’d die for you, I’m the Mark you always wanted me to be. I love you (Y/n).”
“I-I can’t trust you.”, it hurt so much.
“Yes, you can, just give me a chance. The last months, they were perfect. You fell In love with me twice, we are destined to be together. Please just give me one last chance to make you happy.”, Mark was back on his feet, holding your face in his hands, slowly stroking your tears away with his thumbs.
“I-I don’t know, it’s too much for me right now.”
“Please, please give me another chance, let me show you how much you mean to me and how much I love you. I love you so much.”, Mark kissed your tears away. “I love everything about you. I love your nose, I love your beautiful eyes and I love the way you laugh. I love the way you want to help everyone. You’re so kind, sweet, you have a big heart. I want to hear you laugh until my last day on this planet. I don’t want to see you cry or hurt, I want to make you happy- I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m so thankful that we moved here, I can’t imagine my life without you.”
You knew that Mark’s your soulmate, you fell in love with him twice and all good things come in threes, right?
You kissed him on the lips like never before, so many emotions were going through your bodies and connected like your lips. Pain, longing, yearning, hurt, passion, desire & bittersweet love.
“I still need time, this is just still too much for me to handle. The memories- it feels like I’m with two different Mark’s here right now. I know that you changed, but still, it feels like I just went through the pain all over again.”, you said as you broke off the kiss.
“I understand that, and you can have as much time as you want. I’ll wait for you, no matter what.”, Mark smiled at you and you could feel that he was genuine.
It took a few months until Taeyong accepted the fact that you and Mark were trying again. He still didn’t allow him in the house or any physical contact next to him. Mark proved you that he really changed, he always made sure to make you happy and feel loved. Not a single day without Your mothers started talking again and a heartbreaking, but sweet restart happened. Mark and you finished high school and fortunately you got accepted to the same college. You moved in together and lived the life you always dreamed of.
“Everything’s perfect, but do you know what’s missing?”, Mark asked as you snuggled up to him under the blanket.
“What?”, you placed a sweet little kiss on his jaw.
“Babies.”
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Writing Prompt AU: Childhood Best Friends to Lovers
PART 5: Age 16 
Luke and Thalia break up on homecoming night. 
It’s only an hour into the night when Percy watches Luke drag Thalia out of the hall and into the parking lot. Even though it’s been months since Percy has hung out with either of them, he keeps an eye on the two, watching as their silhouettes point accusatory fingers at each other. 
Annabeth and Grover, who he came to the dance with, are swaying playfully on the dance floor, but he waves them over and nods to the open door that Thalia left, exposing her and Luke as they shout at each other. 
“Should we check on them?” Grover asks, biting his thumb anxiously. Percy shrugs and watches Annabeth. Well, at this point, he’s always watching Annabeth, especially tonight because she’s in a dress he’s never seen before, and it’s the colour of the sea, his favourite. 
“Annabeth?”
“It’s not our business,” she says softly, but her eyes never leave the couple. Percy nods, and keeps his eyes trained on them, worry growing in his throat as Thalia steps closer to Luke, getting in his personal space. 
Even from here, Percy can feel Luke’s anger, it’s potent and vile and he almost doesn’t recognise it on his old friend’s face. He’s about to tell Annabeth that they should intervene when someone lightly taps him on the shoulder. He whirls around, surprised, and forces a smile onto his face when he sees that it’s Rachel Elizabeth Dare. 
“Hey Percy.” 
Her voice catches Grover and Annabeth’s attention and they both turn to look at her as well. She doesn’t buckle under their gaze, keeping her bright eyes on Percy like she’s on a mission. 
“Hey Rachel, what’s up?”
“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to dance?” She says it confidently, but as soon as she’s done, she bites her lip and starts swaying back and forth on her feet like she can’t stand still. 
Dread fills Percy’s body and he struggles to come up with a nice way to say no because he really does not want to dance, not right now. 
Rachel must see it on his face because she gives him a sad smile and nods slowly. More dread fills his body and he glances anxiously to his friends at his side who are also waiting for an answer. Annabeth is frowning deeply and Grover has this sort of amused look on his face. 
“Right, that’s okay, uh, have a nice-” She starts and begins to walk away. Percy sighs and quickly reaches out, grabbing her wrist, when she pulls back he lets go quickly and holds his hands up in surrender. 
“Wait- Rachel. Sorry,” he stutters unsure of why he stopped her. He can feel his friends gaze on him as he speaks to Rachel but he doesn’t turn, “Yes.”
“Yes, what?” Rachel asks, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. 
“Yes, I’ll dance.” Her face instantly brightens and he holds out a hand, which she takes. 
Before he properly leaves, he quickly turns to Grover and Annabeth, whose mouth is wide open. 
“Come get me if something happens with Thals and Luke.” Grover nods but Annabeth just stares after him like he’s speaking another language. He ignores the tight knot in his stomach and lets Rachel lead him to the dance floor, placing his hands lightly on her waist. 
“What made you change your mind?” 
“Hmm?”
“You weren’t going to dance with me, what made you change your mind?” Percy blushes at the bluntness of her words and tries to come up with another excuse. As they’re swaying to the music, he steps back and spins her a bit as the song reaches the chorus.
When he can’t think of an excuse he tells the truth. 
“I wanted to see if I would feel a difference.” Rachel frowns and tilts her head at him confused. “I- uh, like someone else, and I’ve been trying to stop. I thought maybe if I danced with someone else I would feel different about them.” 
“Why do you want to stop liking them?” Rachel doesn’t even seem fazed that he’s just confessed he likes someone else. 
“Because she, I don’t know, I think she likes someone else, but she doesn’t realise it. So it’s just easier if I don’t like her.” Rachel loops her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, so close he can smell her floral perfume. It matches the brightly coloured flowers on her dress. 
“Well if I’m not mistaken, Annabeth hasn’t taken her eyes off of us the entire dance so I think you’re all good Percy.” 
“What?” Instantly he pulls his gaze away from Rachel and turns around wildly to look at where he last saw Annabeth. She’s not looking when he sees her, but he does catch sight of her flicking quick glances at him in between her conversation with Grover as the song ends and as Rachel walks him back to them. 
“How’d you know?” He asks Rachel, trying to figure out what gave him away. 
“Just a feeling. You should tell her.” When Percy doesn’t answer Rachel smiles and wiggles her fingers as a goodbye. “Thanks for the dance Percy, I’ll see you around.” 
He lifts a hand up as well, still too surprised at how easily she was able to read him. 
“Have fun?” Annabeth asks with pursed lips. 
Percy shrugs, “Yeah I guess. She’s pretty cool.” 
“Hmph.” 
Annabeth turns back to facing the door so that she can watch Thalia and Luke (who are still fighting) while Percy turns to Grover behind her back and tries to ask Grover what her problem is via extreme facial expressions. Grover scrunches his shoulders up and shrugs, saying he doesn’t know and Percy sighs, running a hand through his hair. 
Out of nowhere, Annabeth’s hand slaps his wrist. 
“Hey!”
“Stop messing up your hair.” She says, without turning to him. 
“Who are you, my Mom?” He asks and keeps messing it up because it feels weird all gelled down and sticky. 
“No but you never have your hair like that and I want nice photos of us later.” 
“I look like an idiot.”
“That’s because you are, Seaweed Brain.” 
“Whatever.”
“Oh shut-”
A loud crack catches both of their attention and they both turn to the direction of the sound and see Thalia standing at the doorway, her fury tangible in her stance as she walks towards them. Behind her Percy barely glimpses a look at Luke who is cradling his face, blood seeping from his nose, where Percy assumes Thalia has just punched him. 
He doesn’t even fully register that she’s come up to them until she’s talking. 
“I know you probably hate me right now, but I can’t be here anymore. I’ll explain everything, but can one of you take me home please.” 
Annabeth is already opening her purse and handing the keys to Percy. He’s the better driver out of the two, and she’s already wrapping her arms around Thalia, who is fighting back tears. 
In less than 5 minutes the four of them are packed in Annabeth’s Dad’s old car and Percy is carefully pulling out of the parking lot and taking them to Annabeth’s house. 
Thalia doesn’t speak until they’re all situated in Annabeth’s room. Percy has taken off his second-hand suit jacket, loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, and Grover is pulling clothes from Annabeth’s drawer, throwing pieces at Percy so they can both change into comfier clothes. 
As he’s about to change Annabeth pokes him sharply. 
“Photos Percy!” She reminds, and he rolls his eyes, rebuttoning his shirt. 
Thalia waits for them to settle, Percy and Annabeth on her bed, and Grover on the window sill before she speaks. 
“Okay, so I want to start by saying sorry. It’s been months since I’ve spoken to any of you and I totally get if you hate me for that, but I do have a reason, but also it’s okay if you don’t forgive me because I wouldn’t forgive me either.” 
“Thals,” Annabeth whispers. She looks like she’s about to cry and Percy can see her hands fidgeting like they want to move and grab something. He reaches over to her bedside table and gives her a fidget toy, and then carefully takes her other hand, rubbing soothing circles around the top of her palm. 
She doesn’t say anything, but she squeezes his palm in thanks. 
“Let me talk first Annabeth before you say anything. I want to make sure I say this all right.” 
So she talks. Thalia starts from the beginning, how she’s always loved Luke, and how when he moved, she called him each day, and they never lost contact, and how him turning up wasn’t a surprise to her because they’d been talking about it for months already. She talks about how it was her first relationship with someone ever, and she’d never liked someone this much in her life, so she didn’t realise that spending every breathing moment with him wasn’t normal. At one point Thalia takes off her suit jacket and loosens her own tie. Annabeth offers a change of clothes but Thalia shakes her head, determined to continue with the story. She continues to say that Luke started acting differently when they officially started dating, started telling Thalia not to hang out with them because he only wanted to spend time with her, and that they were saying things about her behind her back. 
“I knew it wasn’t true, but I didn’t want to fight with him, everything felt so perfect when we were together. I just wanted us to not fight. So I let him pull me away from you guys.” 
This time when Annabeth squeezes Percy’s hand, it’s in warning, because he realises that he’s using her hand as a stress ball. He apologises silently by letting go, and loosely threading their fingers together so that he doesn’t accidentally hurt her. 
“It didn’t get bad until last summer when I told him that I missed you guys and that I wanted to be friends with you again. It got even worse when I told him that I might like girls as well as guys.” 
Percy sees her hold her breath as she says the last part and feels his face split open into a grin. 
“Me too,” he says simply and the smile that Thalia gives him back is enough for Percy to forgive her of everything. I’m proud of you, he mouths so that he doesn’t interrupt her story. 
“I don’t know why it was such a big issue, but he kept bringing it up. He never went a day without saying something about it, and it was never nice. I hated it. He made me feel like I wasn’t allowed to like both, and I realised that I just wasn’t happy with him. I was so sad all the time, and all I wanted was to talk to you guys but he was always there. At the gym tonight, I knew that the only way he’d actually let me break up with him was if it was public. So that’s what I did.” 
Annabeth pushes off the bed and throws herself onto Thalia. Percy and Grover are quick to follow until they’re a tangle of limbs, suits and dress (in Annabeth’s case) on the ground. Grover and Thalia are crying and holding each other tightly, and Annabeth has wrapped her arms around Thalia’s torso. It kind of reminds Percy of a koala and he pulls out his phone to take a photo of the three of them, immortalising this moment. 
“So what did he think when you showed up wearing that?” Percy asks, nodding at the fitted suit Thalia wears, “Looks awesome by the way,” he adds.
Thalia scoffs. 
“I thought his head was going to explode.” They all laugh and Percy rejoins them on the floor, ending up laying in Annabeth’s lap as they all hold onto each other, making up for time wasted. 
“I can’t believe Luke is such a jackass,” Percy says with a shake of his head. 
“Do you think he had a particular reason why he was like that towards you Thals? Is there something happening at his home?” Annabeth asks and Percy turns to her with an incredulous look. 
“Wise Girl, come on, no matter how crappy a person's home life is, that doesn’t mean you can project that onto someone you care about. Like look at me, you don’t see me being an ass to you just because Gabe was the worst step-father in the world.” 
“What happened with Gabe?” Thalia asks, sitting up abruptly when she hears his name but Percy waves her off. 
“Nothing important. He just wasn’t a good person, but we don’t live with him anymore. Mom’s dating Paul and she’s happy and that’s all that matters to me.” 
Thaila looks like she wants to say more but Annabeth cuts in. 
“I’m not trying to make excuses for him, I just wanted to ask because that really doesn’t sound like the Luke I know,” she pauses when she sees Thalia’s face fall, “That doesn’t mean I don’t believe you...I really do. I just- I want to hear his side of it too you know? But I’ll stand by you no matter what.” 
Thalia nods slowly and takes Annabeth’s outstretched hand. 
“The Luke you know is very different to the Luke that I dated Annabeth. He’s changed a lot. He pretends he hasn’t, but he has and none of it is good. Even if you get his side of the story, I don’t think he’d tell the truth. I swear, on my brother and on my Mom, everything I’ve said is true. But if you want to ask him to double-check, I won’t stop you.” 
Annabeth does end up asking Luke for his side of the story, and her decision still baffles Percy to this day, but Thalia reassures him that it’s for her own sanity. 
“Luke and Annabeth were a lot closer than you remember I think. It really hurt Annabeth when he stopped talking to her. I think it hurt him too, I never knew why, but I think he had a thing for her at one point, but he chose me.” 
That old familiar sting of jealousy holes up in Percy’s stomach as he waits for Annabeth to come back and meet them at her car. 
“Do you think he still does? Like her, that is?” The words are like cotton in his mouth, suffocating and hard to speak around. 
“Maybe. Wouldn’t be surprised if she does too. She never told me, but I always had a feeling.” 
Oh.  
Percy nods, unable to bring himself to say anything and waits in silence. Annabeth comes walking down the steps, wiping her eyes and Percy’s instincts kick in, and he’s running to her, pulling her close to his chest and holding her there. 
“What did he do? Are you okay?” He asks when she finally pushes him away slightly. Her eyes are still watering but she smiles and pokes him in the cheek. 
“I’m okay. Let’s go home.”
She lets him lead her into the car, he drops Thalia off first before pulling up at Annabeth’s. 
“Come in?” 
He nods and follows her soundlessly to her room. He unwraps his scarf and hangs his jacket on a hook, like he has many times before and sets himself on her bed, playing with her old stuffed toys as she slowly undoes her coat, clearly distracted.
“Thals was right. Luke is- I don’t know who that Luke was.” Annabeth admits. 
A selfish part of Percy sighs in relief, and he holds out his arms as a peace offering to Annabeth. She smiles and sits down with him, not quite in his arms, but close enough that Percy isn’t complaining. 
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.”
“Because you’re sad and I don’t like seeing you sad, especially when I can’t do anything about it.” 
“Seaweed Brain you can’t make everyone happy.” She says with a teasing smile.
“I don’t want to make everyone happy, just you.” The words come out before he fully processes thinking it and he swallows thickly when Annabeth stares at him, slightly dumbfounded. 
Finally, she moves, and leans down, ever so softly pressing a kiss to his forehead. 
“You do make me happy. You always have, don’t doubt that.” Percy can’t help but close his eyes and relish in the warmth she gives him. When he opens his eyes again she’s staring right back at him, like she can see into his soul. He secretly wishes her eyes weren’t so beautiful, because then he wouldn’t have such a problem with looking away, but they’re not, they’re the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen and he never wants to stop. 
“You make me happy too.” More than you’ll ever know.
PART 1
PART 2
PART 3
PART 4
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lovelypale · 3 years
Text
Narcotics // Addict!Senjuro x Dealer!Reader
Warnings: 18+, drug use, addiction, toxic relationship, suicide mention, it’s consensual but I’m gonna say dubcon just in case, mostly plot with a bit of spice, Senjuro is college aged.
Words: 1600
a/n: Had this idea plaguing me and I just needed to get it out. Sensitive topic here (as if I write anything that isn’t) but yeah may or may not give these two a happy or sad ending. Let me know I guess!
You opened the door to the large figure in front of you, dripping from the downpour that was tearing through the city. He was imposing in stature but still very skinny otherwise; a very meek man. He was shivering, but you had a feeling that it wasn't from the rain. 
"Why did you take the last train?" You tested the water with a small opener. It was very curious that he would show up so late, again. He knows what he's here for, but you wanted him to say it himself. 
He opened his mouth to speak but ultimately couldn't, instead opting for a shaky wave. You scoffed and opened your door wider for him before leaving to get a towel. When you returned he was still at the door, still shaking, still appearing utterly helpless. You handed him the towel and he took it from you, still avoiding your eyes. Everything was silent. 
"I'm not selling to you anymore Senjuro." 
He continued to stand there, blond and red locks frayed and dripping water on the floor. He looked beautiful, always does, it was a talent that even helpless and strung out he still looked breathtaking. He nodded and hugged himself tighter. "I'm sorry. I'll do anything, please." 
"You don't want anything from me." You put your hand against his cheek and felt his cool trembling against your warm skin. He was desperate again. He said he was going to quit plenty of times but he would always end up right back at your doorstep. You watched him grow from a slightly misguided kid to a truly fucked over adult. He barely knew his mom, dad's an alcoholic, and his brother seems alright but he was always busy teaching. You're sure he's messed up like everyone else and is just the type to let things fester in secret but Senjuro doesn't know that. He thinks he's the problem, the only one that couldn't cope, that can't contribute in the way that his older brother does. It messed with him so badly that it led him to you. The school's dealer. Not only can you make the pain disappear, you can make it feel good.
He doesn't need to feel good. He needs to never see you again. 
"I can't stop shaking, my family will notice. Please." 
"I hope you know they’d hate what you do for this more than the actual drugs itself." He looked at you with his dull red eyes through his foggy glasses, you remember when they used to sparkle. He wasn't like you, he was always so motivated and happy. At some point you used to envy his shy and upbeat demeanor. 
"I understand." He smiled at you but it looked eerie and unnatural. He wasn’t lying about his shaking though, it really did look bad.
You shook your head at him and sighed, turning around to a side room to check your supply. Lucky him, you had exactly what he needed. You took just one and dropped It in his palm. He looked at you confused. "I told you I'm not selling you shit anymore. You're getting one to tide you over, other than that I don't want to see you here ever again. Get help."
He looks at you with a plea in his eyes as he gently grabs your arm. "I don’t think I have anyone else y/n, please don’t leave me alone.”
"That's not my problem, do you even have money anymore?" You pushed away from him and he quickly latched back on to you. Your heart strained in your chest, you always hated this part. This stupid hug he gave you that brought you back to your youth, the days of being in high school when he hugged you before running off to his friends. This was always just business to you but he walked into your life and you’ve felt increasingly responsible for him since. It felt less and less like making money and more like assisted suicide. 
He placed the pill in his mouth and pulled himself even closer to you, ''Anything." You felt his still wet body pressed against you and you knew this fight was over.
You sighed before pulling away from him and walking to your room. He followed you, knowing exactly how this routine went. He watched you kick off your pants and your underwear. You sat on your bed in nothing but your top and watched him with guilty eyes. He was pretty, even with fading hair and way less weight than he started with he was gorgeous to you. Usually people as deep as him don’t maintain as well but he managed to keep his baby face. He looks tired, the type of tired sleep can't fix, but at least you can't tell that he's sold his life away for a drug. At least not yet, but he's getting there. 
You know you're taking advantage of him, but he's also hoping you do. He’s always been a people pleaser and you can’t say no to letting him please you. It started with him running you drinks to making out in your car and now...Terrible. As sinister as this courtship is, neither of you truly want to stop. You loved him, but not enough to stop him from hurting himself. "Hurry up, you have an 8 AM tomorrow." 
“I dropped that course.” 
You stared at him with pure pain in your eyes. “Of course you did.” 
He peels himself out of his wet clothes with a slight sway to his form, you can tell whatever issues that plague him are starting to float away. As usual, he keeps his glasses on. He smiles at you with weird reverence, like he's thankful that you're going to be the one to ultimately kill him. Your hand immediately takes hold of his pretty cock. Long, curved, and pink at the tip. You swirled your thumb around his tip as he patiently waited for you to tell him what to do. You made languid movements up and down his twitching dick, thinking to yourself that you should probably do something before he's completely spaced out. 
"Lay down." He listens and slowly gets on your bed before giving his attention back to you. You can never seem to get over how dainty he looks, it makes you feel even worse about your little situation. You get on top of him and he instantly starts bucking against you, not really even aiming for anything, just trying to get the burning sensation on his skin to cool down. You didn't prep but you didn't need to, taking him was easy. Power and pity is two things you've learned to sexualize when it comes to him. His vulnerability had to be hot or else it would quickly become sad.  
His legs squirm underneath you from the building sensitivity. He utters small "thank you" and gasps as you move up and down his dick. His slight curve rubbed against your upper wall, causing you to be noisier than you'd like to be.  He's getting warmer and warmer, feeling found inside of you. The world is fading off into something more obscure, something that isn't tangible. Your hips feel plush against his palm, he's digging down and tearing into your skin but he knows you’ll forgive him for it.
You watch him writhe in ecstasy, getting closer and closer to his high. He looked so beautiful with his hair all over your bed and his glasses threatening to fall off completely. You never get a warning with him, your orgasms are always so sudden and violent. Your thighs squished his as you curled into yourself, he was still thrusting, seeking his own relief. You thought you were going to pass out from the feeling of him still plunging deep inside of you. "S-stop." 
You pulled off of him and wrapped your hand around his sticky cock again, not wanting to leave him hanging. He seemed to be capable of the job on his own, thrusting into your warm palm with pure joy. "I'm getting close-." You didn't give him the chance to finish his sentence before you changed your hand motion to a slight twist. He came almost instantly in your grasp, you flinched from the slight splatter against your face as you continued to move your hand. He struggled to look at you. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that." 
You let go and grabbed the same towel you gave him to dry off. "You always say sorry so much, stop it." You knew he probably didn't hear that, he was past the point of holding an intelligible conversation. There's nothing but the sound of your sheets moving underneath his squirming body and the sound of faint moaning, it wasn't a pretty sight but you're used to it.
You watched him move around until he eventually stayed completely still, fully enraptured by his high. He was going to be stuck like this for a few hours. You shook your head, admonishing yourself for even letting him in. You can't keep giving him drugs, and you especially can't keep letting him pay you like this. You grabbed his glasses and put it on your dresser so he wouldn’t crush it, in that moment his phone lit up and you saw the message, it was his brother. His friends stopped asking where he disappeared to a long time ago, it was truly only Kyojuro that still cared about where he went to at night. He has to know the reason why his brother is slipping away.
Hey! I finished grading tests early and picked up your favorite on my way home. I was hoping I could talk to you tonight but don’t worry about it! Your food is in the fridge. Wherever you are, stay safe. We care about you.
You winced at the message and decided to respond for him. Thank you, I'm staying with a friend to study tonight. I'll be back tomorrow. 
Nothing but routine.
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