#and also those are such old references idk if everyone would get it

[not-goldy]

https://www.tumblr.com/not-goldy/748392902553649152/httpswwwtumblrcomnot-goldy748386443834048512?source=share

Let's make one thing clear i wasn't the og anon who asked you about the "did jungkook said all those vile things to jm" but i did saw it so i commented on it and i stand by the fact that making fun of someone's looks when the said person is insecure about his looks is "evil" cause it is. The male treat e/o differently bs you can keep to yourself cause teasing is one thing but making fun of someone's insecurity is not the same get that fact clear.

Did i anywhere said jungkook is not jimin's friend? NO i did not so idk exactly what y'all are yapping about. Did i say "And jk is the standard of love for jkkrs" refering to his past self which jkkrs romanticize and glorify? Yes i did. so now what all it means is i said jungkook is not "the partner" for jimin and i never commented on their friendship and there's difference between friendship and romantic relationship. You can't always chose your friends or even best friends as your romantic partner cause you don't feel it and it doens't work like that. Just because someone's friends with you doens't mean you see them as your partner cause you want more and different. Also the ppl who says we make jm looks pathetic nahh bro fact here is it's you who love the "jm fell first jk fell harder" edits not us. Jm is sweetheart with everyone and he especially takes care of his younger ones, he babies V too who's literally 2 months younger than him. Just because jk learned how to be nice over the years doens't mean it can erase what he said when he was 18-19-20 yrs old. He did say all those things to jm it is what it is.

About the anon who said you have been waiting for jm and jk to reveal their partners from 2017 cause ppl said so then you and those people both are dumb cause why on earth would you think they're gonna reveal their partners at their peak?? By revealing their partners i completely mean them officially introducing and CONFIRMING their partners which is also not the case with taennie (i know they dated but they never confirmed so doens't fit in what i mean). Like they debuted in 2013 and you were expecting their partner's official reveal in 2017 cause some ppl said so? Lol. But here i say wait for some more years. Let them get to the age of 35-40 and you'll see. And the list you posted to show how jungkook treats jm can be applied to how jungkook treats other members too then, so maybe he's dating them too (again except one gcft yet). Btw we all did saw jungkook with a woman at night in his apartment, back hugging her....yes he doesn't have a gc now but does that earse the exsistance of that video? The times when jkkrs were like "he's missing his love of life jm" while the guy was having women at his home? Sure. He was missing jm so much that rather visiting jm at any of his sets or anything like other members jungkook was at home doing lives singing songs live..i see how much he was missing. I'm not telling this because i expected that from him it's because y'all make big deal out of nothing.

Anyways, idt y'all gonna be here after those many yrs but if y'all stay I'd love to see that reaction.

Again with the anachronisms

I'm running out of patience here-

When did you find out Jimin was insecure about his looks??? 2013, 2014? 2015 when he was in his hypermasculine state doing 360 flips in the air, flexing his biceps, talking bout girls chasing him, when he was strong confident in his masculinty and showing it off- is this the same year he opened up about his vulnerabilities???

In fact when did Jimin discuss this self image issue???

And when was Jungkook teasing Jimin????

Making fun of his insecurities bitch you're crazy. Lost it. Pulling stuff from your ass get a life cos your whole existence is an illusion.

In your crazy delusional head what did you think was happening???

Poor poor insecure Jimin walking around shy hiding from people explaining to everyone he has body image issues while his younger maknae followed him around pointing to him telling the world his biceps was fake his abs had been drawn on????

Same Jimin who had the hyung line busting their ass off to catch up? Same Jimin whom the company used as a model for the others to emulate Same Jimin whom the company preferred him showcasing his gorgeous body and the others had to work had to attain his level of physique but even that they were still passed over for Jimin???

Same Jimin?????

Use your brains for a sec, with the way he looked and the way he carried himself around who could tell he was feeling insure??? You only know that NOW years forward into the future when he opened up and not the actual moment it was happening.

You think Jungkook would play like that with him if he knew any of that ? And ever since he'd become like that- well as you put it, he's been "nice".

Well well well

Again confirming my diagnosis of you and your kind

"Just because JK has learned to be nice over the years don't erase what he said and did when he was 18 19 20

Actually he was 15, 16, 17 you creep.

Also you are not saying anything we don't know. Like I said WE KNOW HOW YALL WORK you not difficult to figure out.

At least you admitting he's a nice person others of your kind have a hard time admitting that.

If you want to Judge a grown man you claim is nice over his playful ribbings with HIS FRIENDS WHILE HE WAS A MINOR that's your crazy to deal with.

But do tell that to your new recruits and the impressionable minds you try to twist and brainwash like the fine Tuktukker relative you are.

I simply disagree with you. That's all.

I don't see any of what he said and did as malicious. He did it with everyone and especially Taehyung. Jimin simply wasn't comfortable with that which is fine because he's after all not a very typical or traditional male in every sense of the word and how was Jungkook to know he couldn't just toss him around and throw him in the air and break his back like he was doing his other friends.

We all have our idiosyncrasies and I think BTS work so well because they have learned to respect eachother's boundaries- well some of them.

I think if that was Jimins boundaries he is entitled to his boundaries and all anyone can do is respect those boundaries.

But I'm starting to also appreciate why JK solos would equally hate Jimin and Jimin stans like you.

I mean for one he was also constantly disturbing that dude trying to kiss him and bug him when CLEARLY JUNGKOOK ALSO DIDN'T WANT THAT especially as it was done publicly. For an introverted fella I can see how stressful that whole experience must have been for him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Poor poor guy 🥲

Respect goes both ways Anon.

You can't insist on your boundaries while also constantly pushing someone else's. Especially since Jungkook was the shy type and didn't like being the center of attention. If someone doesn't want to be bothered or doesn't want to be friends with you you leave them alone. You don't act sad about it on camera and inadvertently put your fans on their back.

I'm open to discussing all the toxic things Jimin did as a teen with you since you enjoy living in the past but ll rather redirect you to another toxic Jk solo who is equally stuck in the past as you so you two can take each other out.

For me, jikook grew and I grew with them.

Take care.

[kimuramasaya]

top 10 kpop releases of the first half of 2022 ✨ click for full resolution

tagged by @dongkwan and @jaehyukkies

honorable mentions: u by treasure // but you by ikon // love theory by taeyong & wonstein // I want you baby by stayc // nanana by got7 // love me like by omega x // creature by e’last

I must be the last person to do this, so I’ll just tag some mutuals so they can see my picks. @alrightyaphroditie @wabisaba @dreamaze @blahblahblahcollapse @slowrabbitpd @kingleedo @hueningkai

#treasure #ikon #dkb #tnx #purple kiss #tan #seventeen #oneus #onlyoneof #got7 #eyestrain tw #mine* #tagged in #i actually wanted to make a set in the style of fuse's dedicate live or vh1's pop up video #and put little reasons i picked the songs #but it took me so long to narrow down my list and i wanted to get something up before the end of the month #and also those are such old references idk if everyone would get it #so mtv music video font instead

[johannestevans]

Hi, as an intersex trans masc person I was just wondering if I could ask/clarify a couple things about your posts about being referred to as "afabs"

This is entirely out of a desire to better understand other perspectives so I'm sorry if its a bother, it isn't intended that way

Is it that you generally dislike being referred to as afab because it references a gender that is not your identity, or is it specifically it being used as a noun that causes the issue?

If it is the noun issue, could I ask if you can elaborate on why?

I was under the impression that afab/amab were useful and accepted ways to refer to someone's physical sex at birth, which is what is relevant in discussion about pregnancy etc. Have I misinterpreted something here?

(I'm also autistic so idk if I've missed some tone issue or sarcasm or implication here, I'm just trying to understand better so I don't offend others)

I hope you're doing well and thanks for your time x

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "PHYSICAL SEX".

And even if there were, right?

Calling me an "AFAB", the implication is meant to be that BECAUSE I was assigned female at birth and had ~female parts~, that means I must have ~female parts~ now, as if these things don't change with time and hormones and surgery, as if because I was erroneously described as female, I am the same physically as I was as an infant, and therefore I share in common everything with anyone else who was also described as female at birth, erroneously or otherwise.

Of course anything to do with being "female" isn't my fucking identity, as a man.

AFAB and AMAB stand for Assigned Female at Birth and Assigned Male at Birth.

Being assigned male or female was an event that happened in the past. I was also a fucking baby at birth. I'm not a baby now, am I? Just because I was an infant then doesn't mean you would prefer to me as an ex-infant or previously an infant. That has 0 bearing on my identity as an adult. It's bizarre to bring it up.

AMAB and AFAB are perfectly useful terms to describe that specific event - the event at birth when you were assigned a sex, incorrect or otherwise.

What relevance or frankly, business, is it of anyone's what sex a ten-year-old was assigned at birth? A twenty-year-old? A forty-year-old? A seventy-year-old?

There are loads of trans people who never went through the wrong puberty, and have had various surgeries. There are plenty of trans people who have been stealth since they were kids, where many of the people around them never had any idea they were trans and/or intersex, and they just went through the puberties they were most comfortable with.

There is no "AFAB" or "AMAB" experience that is universal to everyone based on what sex they were assigned at birth. That is a lie, it is a fiction, and it's not even a convincing once if you actually talk to a variety of other trans and intersex people. Words to the contrary are generally just based in gender essentialist ideology.

What does it have to do with anything, except that some freaks basically still think of assigned sex at birth as what you "really" are, or having a big impact on your current identity in perpetuity?

In a few years, the abilities of surgeons around uterine transplants will have improved. Within twenty years, I expect we'll see more trans women having pregnancies, and in general more people carrying pregnancies after having womb transplants and other organ transplants.

Just say "people who can get pregnant". Just say "people carrying pregnancies" and "pregnant people".

Stop trying to imagine that someone's ~femaleness~ or ~maleness~ is what the crux of the matter is here. Stop trying to project the male and female """"""biological""""" bullshit onto people when it doesn't apply to them.

There is no such thing as universal biological or physical sex under male and female categories, let alone shared experiences based on those categories.

Just eliminate that shit from your mind. It's a fucking cancer.

#musings #anonymous #i'm not angry at you anon #but i am so tired of this bullshit and i hate when it feel slike people are jumping through hoops to keep calling me female #or to define me based on how i was supposedly once a girl or a woman #when i never was

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 [𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐙𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐘]

PAIRINGS —  Fitzwilliam Darcy x fem!Reader

SUMMARY —  Referred by a close family friend, reader finds herself a job tutoring a lovely young girl and begins to form an unlikely connection with her older brother

WARNINGS — slight angst, non main character death, breastfeeding (non descriptive, idk if this i need a warning for this but)

NOTE — okay so I know some of my fics in the past got kinda niche with concepts and some characters but honestly I think we’re entering a new era with that, but either way I hope those of you who like P&P enjoy this just as much as I do :) also I wrote this with Colin Firth’s Darcy in mind but I think it could just as well work with Matthew MacFayden’s (This can be considered to happen after his proposal to Lizzie but like if they didn’t end up working out)

You tried desperately to shake off the nerves that overcame you, it was not like this was the first wealthy family you had tutored for, but something about Pemberley just seemed so out of your grasp. You had received the position only through an old colleague who was moving to Scotland to be nearer to his family and had communicated with your employer via mail. From what your friend had shared his former boss wasn’t one who was warm and open, he might even be considered a little standoffish, but all he wanted was what was best for his younger sister who you would be tutoring. 

He’s a good man, he’s just maybe not as warm as you’re used to. 

And according to friends you were used to a lot warmer than most. Your father was never shy showing his affection to his children and you all loved him more for it, but it seemed to make you just a little off put with the way everyone acted in such a closed off society. 

With one final deep breath you knocked and the door was almost immediately opened by one of the servants. 

“I-I’m here to see Mr. Darcy,” you explained. “I’m the new tutor for Miss Darcy.” 

“Yes, Miss (L/N) is it?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” you gave her a polite smile. 

“Right this way, Mr. Darcy is in his office.” 

You followed the housekeeper inside and had to keep yourself from gasping at the beauty of Pemberley’s interior. 

After your presence was announced to Mr. Darcy, you were allowed to enter the room and gave a quick curtsey to get the formalities over with. 

“Mr. Darcy, it’s nice to finally meet you in person,” 

The man nodded, but offered no response. 

“I am assuming you have gone over the subjects I would like Georgiana to go over?” 

“Yes sir,” you nodded and bit the inside of your cheek. It was your job, why wouldn’t you have done that? 

“Very well, then that will be the extent of our dealings today. Someone will take your to Georgiana so you can meet her and being your studies,” 

“Thank you, sir,” 

Hamish was right, Mr. Darcy was not as warm as you were used to.

The lady who had shown you to Mr. Darcy beckoned you to follow her again and took you down the long halls and up the grand staircase which took you to the young Miss Darcy. 

When you saw her she was hunched over what looked like a piece of sheet music, making various annotations and comments in the margins. You remembered a younger version of yourself doing something similar to remind yourself of where there needed to be extra emphasis on things. 

Georgiana Darcy had a quiet shyness even just to the way she carried herself, but in that way she reminded you of your younger sister closest to you in age. She was maybe a year or so older than Georgiana and even from having barely known her a few moments you knew if they were ever to meet they would be great friends. 

“Ma’am,” Georgiana looked up and noticed you in the room, quickly shuffling away her papers while introductions were made. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you smiled. “I’m close friends with Mr. Morrison, he’s told me a lot about you.” 

“You know Mr, Morrison? I was so sad to hear he was moving so far away,” Georgiana sighed. “He was a very engaging tutor,” 

“I hope I can live up to his standard,” you chuckled. “Your older brother gave me the impression that you’re prepared to begin your lesson today.” 

“I am,” she confirmed. “I was hoping we could start with something a little lighter though, but knowing my brother and his curriculum that might be impossible.” 

“He does have very high hopes for you,” you noted. “He mentioned to me in one of his letters he hopes for you to have the tools to be a smart, capable, and independent young lady.” 

“As long as being independent doesn’t mean being sad and alone,,” she giggled. “Come, I have a space set up in another room for lessons.” 

Georgiana took your hand and dragged you off to her study room, decorated by he you assumed, with flowers, paintings and lots and lots of books. There was even another piano in the corner of the room and she gauged your reaction to the space. 

“It’s beautiful,” you grinned. “You did this all yourself?” 

“Aside from moving the piano, yes,” she nodded. “But I told them where to put it and my brother helped me pick out the paintings.” 

“Well, you both have very good taste,” you praised. “Which might be a rather nice segue into our first lesson,” 

“Are we going to paint?” Georgiana asked, she even looked a little excited. 

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but unfortunately not. It’s a review of art history, but I promise I’ll try to make it as bearable as possible,” 

“I trust you,” Georgiana smiled and sat down at the table. “As long as you can keep up with my endless questions we should be in good shape,” 

“I’ll try my best.” 

You smiled as you set down your papers and lesson plans. You would have to send a letter to Hamish because this may just turn out to be the best job you’d ever have. 

—

It had been a few months of you working at Pemberley and you couldn’t have been happier. Your walk to and from the village everyday was a little long, but it was worth it when you had a student like Georgiana. It really felt like you were spending time with your younger sister and you thought she maybe even came to see you as an older sibling. 

You had only really spent a handful of moments with Mr. Darcy and most of the pleasant ones involved his younger sister. You hadn’t much inclination to spend time with him although you didn’t complain when he came to sit in Georgiana’s study room to observe or read quietly while you went through your lessons with her. 

There was a quiet handsomeness to him and although he was not outwardly warm and fuzzy at least he was like the works of art you would review with Georgiana when discussing sculpting during the Renaissance. 

One afternoon during lunch, you noticed Georgiana was sending her brother some sideways glances, as if she wanted him to say something and when he wasn’t understanding her signals she cleared her throat and turned her attention to you. 

“(Y/N)-,” 

“Georgiana, we’ve spoken about this,” her brother scolded. 

“No, it’s quite alright,” you assured Mr. Darcy. “We’ve made a small agreement to refer to each other by our first names,” you explained. 

“I am well aware of the agreement, but that doesn not change the fact that it demeans your position as her tutor when she refers to you so plainly,” 

“I didn’t think my name was that plain, sir,” you remarked and ate a bite of your salad while Georgiana chuckled. That seemed to silence him so his sister continued. 

“Anyways, I was meaning to ask you about your walk to Pemberley every morning, it must be terrible when the weather is poor.” 

“I must admit it worries me to catch a cold when I should be fit enough to work, but I don’t mind the walk too much,” 

“I believe what my dear sister is trying to express,” Mr. Darcy jumped in. “Is that we’ve cleared a room for you to stay at Pemberley if you wish to do so.” 

“A room here?” you confirmed and Georgiana nodded with a wide smile. “You wouldn’t have to get up so early in the morning anymore and if you’d like to walk you can always do it around the grounds.” 

“T-That’s an incredibly kind offer Mr. Darcy,” you looked at him. “Are you sure this is something you would be alright with in the long term?” 

“I’ve given it extensive thought and it seems to be the best course for Georgiana’s studies and to ensure your continued good health.” 

“Well then, in that case I’d be honoured to accept your offer,” you smiled shyly. “I’ll move my things this weekend.” 

“Fitzwilliam and I can come and help you,” Georgiana suggested. “Can’t we?” 

Mr. Darcy looked at his little sister and you thought you might have caught a flicker of a smile before he nodded his head. 

“We can bring a carriage down and help load it up,”

He very well could have people come and do that for him, but there was something interesting about how he was so casual in accepting the suggestion of his sister. 

You would have assumed helping his younger sister’s tutor move into his home to be something quite beneath him. 

“Thank you, that’s a very kind offer. I’ll be sure to have tea waiting for when you arrive,” 

Georgiana clapped her hands together as if having you move to Pemberley was the best news she’d ever heard. You couldn’t help but wonder if the closed off and distant Mr. Darcy was doing all of this to please his younger sister, but when you took a moment to glance at him you saw how his eyes were already fixed on you and maybe it wasn’t just Georgiana’s doing after all. 

—

Something you would never come to understand was how the gardens of Pemberley were so pristine no matter the time of year. The hedges were perfectly trimmed, flowers beautifully in bloom and never wilted. 

During the summer months it was warm enough to go outside and sit without a jacket by the lake which you enjoyed doing on the weekends, bringing a good book and soaking up as much of the sunlight as you could get. 

You were so engrossed in your novel, oftentimes you wouldn’t notice if someone had come to call on you, or anything around you for that matter. 

So it came as a shock when you heard a voice that was in very close proximity to you, making you jump with fright. 

You placed a hand on your chest to steady your beating heart as you looked up only to find Mr. Darcy there. 

“Oh, Mr. Darcy, I don’t think I’ve been scared like that since… well, it’s been a long while,” you tried to catch your breath and steady it. 

“I apologize,” he said. “Might I ask what has inclined you to sit out here,” 

“Well, the sunlight for one,” you noted. “And a good book which I was reading until I was so frightfully interrupted.” 

“Right,” he nodded. “I should take my leave so you can continue-,” 

“Mr. Darcy I’m afraid you misunderstand me,” you interrupted him with a small chuckle. You were only teasing him,  “If you’d like to join me you're most welcome to. This is, after all, your home.” 

Mr. Darcy lifted his coattails and sat himself down on the grassy knoll next to you, looking out towards the lake. 

“Is your family all in good health?” he inquired. 

“Yes, as of last week they are,” you nodded. 

“You have how many siblings?” 

You took a moment to count on your fingers, whispering the names of each of your sisters and one brother until you had the final count of six. 

“Six, sir. I assume it’s just you and Georgiana?” 

“You are correct in your assumption,” he nodded. 

There was a moment of awkward silence between you both before you figured you would probably have to be the one to break it. 

“I do enjoy myself greatly at Pemberley, I’m very thankful for your hospitality.” 

Still silence, but as if he wasn’t sure how to answer. 

“Mr. Darcy are you alright?” you asked. 

“Quite,” he cleared his throat and nodded. “Yes, I’m quite alright,” 

His eyes drifted over to your book and noticing its title he pointed to it. 

“M-May I?” 

“Of course,” you nodded, sliding in your bookmark and handing the novel to him. His fingers brushed over yours and you could feel your breath hitch at his touch. 

He examined the binding and structure of the book before its contents, scanning the first few pages, but you were too focused on the burning feeling that he left on your fingertips. You gently massaged it away hoping he wouldn’t notice the way you had reacted to such a simple thing, but desire was nothing to be fooled with. 

“H-Has it passed your inspection, Mr. Darcy?” you asked, glancing down at the book, then at him, your hand still folded in your lap. 

“I have no objections,” he agreed. “A fine choice.” 

“I’ve only just started it,” you told him. “I’m rather anxious to see how it ends,” 

He took one last glance at the title as if he wanted to commit it to memory before handing it back to you. 

“I shall look forward to hearing your thoughts on it once you finish,” 

You smiled when he said that, you knew what Hamish had said when you first came to Pemberley, but now that you had been there the greater part of four months you wished to believe that maybe Mr. Darcy did have a soft side. 

“And I shall look forward to conversing with you,” 

You noticed the faintest twitch of his lip as if he was fighting away a smile, but he quickly brushed it off and gave you a polite nod before standing up and wishing you a good day. 

You opened your book back to where you had left off, but your mind was distracted. It was safe to say you didn’t get much further. 

—

“Fitz, you have to help me convince her she’s being very stubborn,” Georgiana eyed you and you tried to focus on eating your dinner. 

“I’m sure Miss (L/N) has a very good reason to not be convinced of whatever it is you’re asking of her,” Mr. Darcy came to your defence. 

“But-,” 

“Georgiana,” her brother warned, but the young lady would not have it. 

“Fitzwilliam,” she mimicked him. “She’s planning on staying bolted up in her room during our ball you have to do something,” 

Mr. Darcy looked up from his plate to you, his hands holding the utensils relaxing as he eyed your curiously. 

“You won’t come to the ball?” he asked. 

“No sir, I was not intending to,” you shook your head. 

“May inquire as to why?” 

“I-I don’t have anything to wear,” you admitted. “And I do not want to make yourselves or myself out of place with the company you shall be hosting,” 

“It would be more cumbersome for us if you weren’t there,” Georgiana tried to convince you. “Most of these balls are out of societal obligation and Fitzwilliam and I would be better off with your company, not without it. Lord knows how much he hates small talk,” 

“Georgiana, now that’s enough,” Mr. Darcy ended whatever was left of the conversation. “Miss (L/N) is a grown woman and can make the decision herself on whether she will attend the ball or not,” 

You thought that would be the end of it and that you would stay in your room with no questions asked, but a few days later when you walked into your room there was an unfamiliar package on the bed. 

You picked it up and unwrapped the carefully folded paper packaging to reveal a beautiful dress, one of the latest fashions from London. Something you could never imagine being able to afford. 

Attached to the package was a note, you quickly unfolded it and read what was written. 

I hope you understand that I only wished to remove any barriers preventing you from joining us next week. The decision is still yours, but I hoped this might help. 

Darcy

You looked down and examined the dress again. It was in a colour you remembered having mentioned — perhaps it was to Georgiana — you liked and the detailing was something like you’d never seen. 

You closed the door to your room and slipped off the dress you were wearing, replacing it with the one from the package instead. 

When you saw your reflection in the mirror you knew then and there you could not let this dress sit away in a closet to be eaten by moths. This dress deserved to be worn. And even though the very thought of it made you sick with nervousness, it deserved to be worn at a ball. 

—

“I cannot tell you how happy I am that you’ve decided to come,” Georgiana linked your arm with hers once you entered Pemberley’s ballroom. 

“It would have been foolish of me to stay in my room with a dress like this,” you looked down at yourself, still unable to believe you were wearing it. 

One of the maids had helped you with your hair, it was in a different style than what you normally wore day to day, but she had done such an amazing job with it you figured it would be hard for people to figure out you didn’t really belong.

Georgiana was your saving grace for a while, helping you start conversations with others and introducing you to their guests, but eventually — just like all good things coming to an end — she was pulled away by one of her friends and you were on your own. 

You poured yourself a glass of punch and stood off in a corner, observing everything that was appening in front of you. 

Georgiana was now dancing with the others and you realized that the whole night you hadn’t caught a glimpse of Mr. Darcy. Your eyes scanned the room for him, but there were so many new faces it was almost becoming dizzying looking through them all. 

“I see you’ve taken my approach to the ball,” 

You jumped at the sound of his voice so near making you spill your punch and staining your new dress. 

“Mr. Darcy,” you gasped. “I hope after this encounter you come to realize how easily I am frightened,” 

“Again, I apologize. It wasn’t my intention to scare you,” he was sincere, but there was a hint of a chuckle in his voice. 

“I’m sure it wasn’t,” you took a deep breath and set down your drink, wiping your hands on a napkin and turning to give him your full attention. “I must say I’m surprised to see you on the sidelines.” 

“I believe Georgiana was ever so kind in mentioning that I detest small talk,” he reminded you. 

“And dancing?” 

“It depends,” he looked straight ahead, his eyes finding Georgiana’s in the crowd. 

“On?” you urged him to continue. 

“Who I’m dancing with.” 

You looked at him thoughtfully before remembering the stain on your dress and you knew there would be no way you could remove it with a little scrub of water alone. 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to excuse me, Mr. Darcy,” you sighed. “It is unfortunately not acceptable to dance in a punch stained dress.” 

“Of course,” he nodded. “Although, Miss (L/N),” 

You turned your head back and looked up at him. 

“Yes?” 

“I would be very grateful if you would allow me to accompany you.” 

“Accompany me?” you confirmed. “To remove the stain from my dress?”

“Yes… or to perhaps mysteriously disappear from my own ball and not return,” he offered and you quickly lifted a hand to cover your mouth and stifle a laugh which finally revealed to you Mr. Darcy’s smile and what a beautiful sight it was. 

“I would be happy for you to accompany me Mr. Darcy,” you nodded and waited a moment for him to catch up the few extra steps to be at the same pace as you while you walked out of the ballroom and towards the bedrooms. 

You could still hear the music faintly in the halls and you admired the peacefulness of it all. 

“Does it ever feel too big?” you asked. 

“Pardon?” 

“Pemberley. Does it ever feel like it’s too big?” you asked him. 

He took a quiet moment of reflection and you patiently awaited his answer. 

“It’s all I’ve ever known,” he admitted. “I’m not sure what smaller would look like.” 

“It’s more about what it feels like,” you expressed. “Including my mother and father there were nine of us at home while I was growing up,” you began to explain. “Our home was not as small compared to a lot of the others around us, but in contrast to Pemberley it seems miniscule. When I wanted to get away from everyone I would have to leave the house, go take a walk in the field. Here I can just go to my room and I’ll be left alone,” 

“Do you miss your home?” Mr. Darcy asked. “Surely you wouldn’t stay there forever.” 

You looked at him curiously and he clarified, 

“What I mean is a woman such as yourself will eventually get married, perhaps move away.” 

“I do miss home sometimes, but it’s mostly my family. There is something about the quiet here, it’s so serene.” you clasped your hands together to stop them from swinging at your side. 

There was another spell of comfortable silence before it was broken again by Mr. Darcy. 

“Miss (L/N), if we stopped by my office I may have something that can help remove the stain from your dress,” 

“You do?” 

“When I was younger I had an awful habit of spilling tea on my white shirts so the maids started to give me something so I could get them cleaned faster,” he explained. “I-I’m not sure if it will work, but it might prove to be useful.” 

“Perhaps you should go grab it while I change out of this dress and into another?” you suggested. “You can meet me at my room.” 

Mr. Darcy nodded and quickly took the turn to his office while you hurried your pace to the end of the hall where your bedroom was. 

As quickly as you could, without damaging the dress, you removed it and laid it on your bed before picking out the nicest clothes you had out of your own belongings, but it came nowhere near even the simplest dress at the ball.

A couple moments after you had gotten dressed there was a knock on your door and you grabbed the dress and opened it. 

“We may need an area with better light,” you looked at your dark room only lit by a small candle. 

“Bring the candle, if we take it to one of the balconies it should give us enough to work with.” 

You nodded and did what he suggested before following him to one of the balconies in question. 

Mr. Darcy held out his hand for your dress and you gave it to him seeing the jar he held in his opposite hand. 

He hung the dress along the balcony’s ledge and opened the jar, pouring some of its contents on the stain. 

“Vinegar?” you asked. 

“And lemon juice,” he nodded after placing the jar down on the ground and scrubbing the affected spot. 

“Mr. Darcy, if you’d like I can take care of it,” you reached out and offered to take the dress off his hands. 

“I-,” he stopped himself as if he was unsure how to word what he wanted to say. “It would mean a great deal if you allowed me to do this for you, Miss (L/N),” 

You nodded your head and retracted your hands, holding them against your stomach, watching as he took extra care until, by the warm light of the candle, the stain was almost completely removed. 

“Thank you,” you said while taking the dress carefully back in your own hands, folding it and placing it on a table inside before coming back out. 

You could hear the music clearly coming from the ballroom, you suspected the windows were open and the sound was travelling. You thought it was a shame you didn’t get to dance, but that was partially your own fault, if you weren’t hidden off in the corner perhaps someone would have asked you. 

“Miss (L/N), I know it is just the two of us, but if I noticed correctly you did not dance tonight,” 

“I was just thinking about that myself,” you nodded. 

“If you would do me the honour of sharing a dance I’m sure we can change that,” he offered his hand. The music was slower, not something one would typically dance to, but maybe Mr. Darcy knew a different style of dance than that which you were familiar with. 

You cautiously took his hand and he brought you close to himself. You placed your other hand on his shoulder while he placed his just above your waist. 

“Have you ever waltzed before?” he asked. 

“Not that I can remember,” your voice was a whisper unable to comprehend how close you were. 

“It’s very simple,” he explained softly, “It’s three steps and you just follow my lead-yes like that,” 

You kept watch on your feet until you got a hang of the movements, allowing yourself to look up and see Mr. Darcy staring right back at you. 

You felt like you couldn’t blink, that if you did the whole moment would vanish. 

“I-I’m sorry I ruined the dress you bought me,” you apologized and looked down again at your feet, any excuse to tear away from his burning eyes that you sensed were reading your very soul. 

“No, I should be the one to apologize for frightening you,” he said. “With or without the dress you could fit in here, Miss (L/N),” 

You could feel your cheeks grow warm and you thanked him quietly for his words. 

The music came to a slow close and your movements stopped with it. You stood a moment, in that same waltzing position like you were waiting for another song to start so you could continue, but it didn’t. At least not one you could waltz to. 

You let go of Mr. Darcy’s hand and you were about to let your hand drop from his shoulder when you noticed a stray curl had fallen on his forehead, and out of instinct — perhaps from years of caring for your younger sisters or maybe even once or twice with Georgiana — you moved it out of the way, only realizing what you had done when it was too late. 

“Oh my-I-I don’t know what came over me,” you quickly stepped away. “I’m so so sorry Mr. Darcy. I should-I think I should take my leave,” 

Your movements were almost frantic as you quickly brushed past him and stepped back into Pemberley, grabbing the dress on the table and rushing to your room, overwrought with embarrassment. 

As if dancing with him so closely wasn’t enough, you scolded yourself behind closed doors, angrily lighting a spare candle and sitting down on the chair in front of the vanity. 

You looked out on yourself, a simple woman, from humble beginnings, desperately wanting something that could never be yours. 

—

“(Y/N), I am absolutely utterly restless, must we continue this lesson immediately?” Georgiana asked you as she looked down in dismay at her French grammar assignment. 

“I suppose not,” you hummed. “Would you like to go for a short walk perhaps? We can both get some fresh air and come back with a clear mind able to conjugate verbs,” 

“That would be amazing,” Georgiana shot up, out of her chair and was already halfway out of the room as you grabbed your things.

You linked arms with her and she eagerly led the way out of Pemberley and towards the lake. 

You saw a figure walking from there in your direction and you squinted trying to figure out who it was, but soon became distracted by some of Georgiana’s questions. 

She asked about the small town you came from, what it was like there, if you missed your family (the answer to that was yes, but the letter you had recently received from your father helped a little with the homesickness). 

You smiled at her curiosity, but your smile disappeared when you looked up and were face to face with a very indecent Mr. Darcy. 

Your eyes grew wide as you saw him in nothing but a soaking white undershirt and pants while Georgiana tried to hide a laugh. 

“Georgiana, Miss (L/N).” he addressed you both. 

You hadn’t spoken to Mr. Darcy — aside from light chatter at the table while you ate your meals — since the ball. You were far too embarrassed to try and converse with him after what you had done, but now here he was in front of you, hardly dressed and making your stomach flutter.

“Mr. Darcy,” you nodded. 

“Shouldn’t you be doing a French lesson Georgiana?” he asked his young sister. 

“We decided to take a break,” she explained. “We’ll get back to it soon,” 

“A-Are you enjoying your walk?” he asked, but his eyes were locked with yours. 

“Yes sir,” you nodded. 

“And your family is in good health? They are all well? Y-Your mother, father and siblings?” 

“Yes, from what I have last heard.” you confirmed. 

You stood there the three of you, staring at each other for a moment before Mr. Darcy finally excused himself to go dress more appropriately. 

After he was out of earshot Georgiana turned to you and with a quiet chuckle noted that her brother enjoyed swimming in the small lake on the property occasionally in the summer to cool off. 

“I don’t think I've seen him quite so flustered before,” she said. “He’s often so composed but I haven’t seen him stutter and stumble like that.” 

“I’m sure he was just cold,” you lied, hoping more than anything you could quickly go back inside and forget about the incident all together. 

—

Mr. Darcy walked down the halls of Pemberley a couple weeks after the lake incident, simply trying to go to his office, but when he heard a loud shriek come from your room his adrenaline raced and he ran there as quickly as possible, knocking on the door to see what was the matter. 

“Miss (L/N)?” he called. “Miss (L/N), are you alright?” 

There was no answer so he announced that he was entering the room, worried for your safety, only to see a letter dropped at your feet while you clutched your heart. 

“Good God,” he ran up to you, almost offering you the solace and comfort of his arms before remembering that it wouldn’t be appropriate. “What happened?” 

“I-I-,” you gagged and covered your mouth. “I think I’m going to be sick!” 

Tears were streaming down your face and your heart was racing far faster than it should have been, you wanted to tell Mr. Darcy the terrible news you had received. What made you cry in horror, and withered your very soul, but you felt dizzy, your dress far too constricting and making it harder for you to breathe.

“(Y/N), you must let me call someone, a doctor, you are unwell,” 

You shook your head, but not as a sign of refusal, you weren’t even aware of what was happening anymore, everything was becoming fuzzy before your knees buckled and it went black. 

You were lucky Mr. Darcy was right next to you as he caught you before you fell and quickly carried you to your bed, laying you down before rushing to the hallway and calling for help. 

Georgiana was closest and she came running down the halls wondering what her brother needed. 

“Georgiana, I need you to get Evangeline to call a doctor immediately and bring me a towel soaked in cold water and the smelling salts.” 

“What happened?” 

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “She read something and became distraught by it. She wasn’t well enough to tell me before she fainted.” 

“I’ll be quick,” Georgiana nodded and ran back down the hall to do the tasks her brother had requested of her. 

Mr. Darcy headed back into the room and kneeled down next to your bed. He couldn’t help but reach out to hold your hand and give it a squeeze, the worry shimmering in his eyes. He could care less about propriety at that moment. 

He needed you to be alright, desperately, whatever the news was, when he found out he would do everything in his power to assure your comfort. 

Georgiana came back quickly with the requested items and Mr. Darcy sat himself next to you on the bed. gently dabbing the cool towel on your forehead. 

Georgiana placed the smelling salts under your nose only getting a slight twitch from you before Mr. Darcy told his younger sister to leave it for a moment before continuing. 

“Georgiana perhaps you should be at the door when the doctor arrives,” Mr. Darcy said quietly, his eyes never leaving your still frame. 

“Of course, please do call someone if you need anything though,” 

“I will,” he nodded and she slipped out of the room leaving only you and Mr. Darcy. 

He placed the cold towel on your forehead and gave it a moment before he tried the smelling salts again, this time with more luck seeing you begin to stir and wake, realizing all over again what had happened. 

You barely even had a chance to sit up when your body erupted with sobs, your chest heaving and shoulders shaking. Mr. Darcy, again, desperately wanted to offer you comfort in an embrace but giving you any sort of added shock dissuaded him from doing so. 

Georgiana, presumably having heard the sound, ran back into the room and fell at your feet her hand tightly grasping yours. 

“(Y/N), what happened?” her voice was gentle but carried the pain she knew you were feeling. 

“I-It’s my father,” you pressed your lips together and shook your head. You couldn’t bring yourself to say it, covering your mouth with your free hand.

Mr. Darcy grabbed the letter that was on the ground and with your permission skimmed its contents before passing it on to Georgiana.

“Miss (L/N), given the circumstances I believe I should escort you to your family home,” Mr. Darcy shared. “After the doctor has come and checked on you. I’d like to make sure you’re in good health before I return you to them. They need you in one piece.” 

You nodded your head and sniffed, wiping away your tears with the sleeve of your dress. 

“A-And Georgiana, what about h-her? Her st-studies?”

“Never mind me,” Georgiana shook her head and looked at you like you were being silly. She sat next to you on the bed and wrapped you in a tight hug. “I’ll manage for a while. Go be with your family, they need you and you need them.” 

“I can’t thank you both enough for your continued kindness,” you whispered. “Especially at a time like this.” 

“Of course,” Mr. Darcy nodded. 

Georgiana offered to help you pack a bag and you accepted it graciously while Mr. Darcy insisted you stay seated until the doctor came around, not wanting to deal with another fainting spell. It was frightening enough the first time. 

The doctor arrived around five minutes later and assured Mr. Darcy you were alright, just greatly overwhelmed. He recommended for you to take time to rest and relax, but both you and the Darcys knew that would only come when you were back home with your family. 

So with your bag in Mr. Darcy’s hand, you walked up to the prepared carriage. Mr. Darcy helped you inside and he followed shortly after securing your bag, taking the seat next to you, but leaving a decent amount of space between you. 

As the carriage began to make its way off the property you stayed quiet. Watching outside of its window at the gardens passing by, thinking about how long it had been since you’d seen your father and how you wished you could have been at his side when he left this world. 

Your eyes flicked to the empty spot next to you, noticing the way Mr. Darcy’s hand was resting next to his side. You carefully inched yours closer to his, wanting to ask for comfort, but not knowing what reaction it would bring. He was — after all — a very proper gentleman. 

You turned your head again and watched the scenery outside when you felt the faintest brush against your hand, to be sure you looked once more and saw how Mr. Darcy’s hand was now even closer to yours, as if he was making sure it was alright. 

You slowly stretched your fingers out slightly to him as he made the last move, placing his hand over your own and giving it a gentle squeeze as you both continued to look out of your respective windows. You didn’t dare turn to look at each other. 

When the carriage stopped in front of your home, Mr. Darcy was the one to let go of your hand, but only for a moment until he helped you out of the carriage. He told the driver he would handle your bag and after he handed it to you, you thanked him once more for his kindness. 

“And not just this, Mr. Darcy,” you sniffed and wiped away a few remaining tears. “It’s not lost on me what you have done for me in the time I’ve stayed with you at Pemberley. My room, the dress, the small parcels of books you’d leave on my desk every month,” the thought of his generosity was enough to bring a small soft smile to your face. 

And if he had the chance to do it again, Mr. Darcy knew he wouldn’t change a thing. 

“Thank you for bringing a light back into Pemberley that I haven’t seen in many years. You’ve done me a service just as much as you have claimed I have for you.” 

You gave him one last fleeting smile as a goodbye before you knocked at the door of your home, waiting for one of your siblings to let you inside.

—

It had been three weeks since you had left Pemberley and as much as you wanted it to be, it wasn’t a pleasant feeling to return, knowing what was in store. 

Once you were let in, you headed straight for Mr. Darcy’s office where Evangeline said he would be. You knocked on the door and as soon as you heard permission to come inside you entered. 

“Mr. Darcy, I need to speak with you urgently.” 

“Miss (L/N), I-we weren’t expecting your return today. I’ll send someone immediately to prepare your room.” 

“There’s no need, sir,” you bit the inside of your cheek. “I’ve come here to hand in my registration.” 

“Resignation?” Mr. Darcy was not expecting that. “I-Is this because of the passing of your father?” 

“In part,” you nodded. “I’ve been given time to reflect on the matter and I have now realized that during my time here there have been many boundaries of which I have crossed,” you continued to explain. “This has nothing to do with either your or Georgiana, this is completely my own mistake and I wish to own up to it.” 

Mr. Darcy was speechless, he wanted to argue with you, tell you how foolish you were being and that nothing of the sort had happened, but he could see your mind was set and if this was something that would make you happy, he didn’t want to be the person who got in the way. 

“I understand your decision, and although I do not necessarily agree with it, I will not stop you,” he said quietly. 

You pressed your lips together and nodded, “I’ll go pack my things and give the news to Georgiana.”

You left his office without another word and headed to your room to begin packing. 

After everything was complete and your belongings were in the carriage you looked around for Georgiana, finding her by the piano playing a quiet melody. 

Her playing stopped abruptly when she noticed you were there and she ran over to give you a hug. 

“You’re leaving aren’t you,” she mumbled quietly into your shoulder and you nodded as the young girl squeezed you tightly. 

“I’m so sorry Georgiana,” you apologized. “Please know that I have loved every moment I have spent with you. And I love you very dearly, as if you were one of my sisters.”

“I love you too,” she cried softly and you held her close, clutching a letter you had written for her in your hand. 

You gently pulled away from her, only to be able to wipe her tears and place a soft kiss to her forehead. 

“You can come visit me anytime you’d like,” you assured her. 

“I will. As much as I can.” 

You handed her the letter and she held it close to her heart. 

“I’ll see you again, I promise,” you tucked a small strand of her blond hair behind her ear and pulled her in for one last hug goodbye before leaving Pemberley and your heart behind you. 

—

Two months later…

“Fitz,” 

“Hello, Fitz?”

“Fitzwilliam Darcy,” Georgiana snapped her fingers in front of her brother’s face and he finally blinked out of his trance. 

“What is it Georgiana?” his voice almost sounded like a sigh, the past two months at Pemberley had been gloomy to say the very least. 

“You’re unhappy, Fitzwilliam,” she stated. “Melancholic, miserable, despondent, however you put it, it doesn’t matter.” 

“Why do you think that is,” he sat back in his seat, listening to his sister. 

“Because you miss her,”

“Her? Who is her?” 

“(Y/N), you miss (Y/N),” she said. “And do not try to deny it. You’ve been grumpy since she’s left and all you’ve done is mope about. You love her, Fitz. Which is why you should go after her because I think she loves you too,” 

Mr. Darcy only shook his head at his little sister, but it was more to save his own image than to disregard what she was saying, because he knew it to be the truth. At least for him it was, why would you have left if you loved him.

After lunch he sat in his office and attempted to get some work done and unfortunately his productivity was not particularly fruitful. Evangeline came in later to bring him a cup of tea and he thanked her, hoping maybe a warm drink could get him back on track. Instead, he knocked over the cup and spilled its contents on his white shirt as he cursed himself for his clumsiness. 

He grabbed a spare shirt from his room close by and went to try and remove the stain from the dirtied one. As he pulled out his mixture of vinegar and lemon from one of his desk drawers he paused, his mind drifting back to the night of the ball. 

He remembered holding your dress in his hands, insisting that he be the one to help remove the stain, it was so simple yet to him it felt incredibly personal, he hoped it showed that he cared. The way you danced together, slowly, close to one another, scandalous by all definitions, but how you had both become lost in each other's eyes and how you hadn’t missed a beat in fixing an unruly curl that had fallen onto his forehead. 

Upon a moment of reflection, he realized that perhaps his reading of your behaviour had been wrong, that maybe everything you had done, even leaving, you’d done because of him. 

He didn’t want to inflate his own ego, but there was only one way he would be able to get it out of his mind and that was to ask. The worst that could come of it is things would stay the same. Mr. Darcy would be alone while the woman he loved moved on with her life. But if there was even an inkling of a possibility, he wanted to take a chance. 

He left his office in haste and asked the driver to prepare the carriage for him. He informed Georgiana that he was going out and that hopefully he would return by nightfall. 

The carriage ride seemed to take forever and Mr. Darcy waited impatiently for them to arrive at your home. He knew this was an unannounced visit and it was as rude as one could be, but he had to know, he could not wait even another second. 

After he knocked on your door, he had half a mind to leave, to abandon this foolish pursuit completely, but before he could give it another moment’s through the door swung open. 

You had to blink a couple times to make sure you were seeing things right. You carried your little brother on your waist and he had his head tucked into your neck, not wanting to expose himself to the stranger in front of him. 

To Mr. Darcy you had never looked more beautiful. 

“I-I do apologize, I realize how rude it is of me to come unannounced.” 

“Yes, quite so,” you nodded, still shocked by his presence. 

“(N/N) who is it?” one of your younger sisters ran to the door to come get a look at their visitor. 

“Iris,” you hissed quietly. “Go back inside.” 

“(Y/N), be nice to your sister,” your mother came to join the three of you by the door all staring at Mr. Darcy. “Sir, you must accept my apology for my daughter’s apparent lack of manners. May I ask who you are?” 

“This is Mr. Darcy, mother, my former employer,” you introduced. 

“Then what is he doing standing outside, please come in.” 

Your mother took no hesitation in pushing you out of the way so that he could enter and by that point, the rest of your sister had gathered around to see what was happening. 

Mr. Darcy stepped into your home and he was able to adequately see what you were describing the night of the ball. Your home was obviously much smaller than Pemberley, but comfortable enough to house you, your mother and your six siblings. He could understand how it might easily get loud and boisterous, but it gave him just that much more insight into you. 

“Might we offer you some tea Mr. Darcy?” your mother asked and Mr. Darcy shook his head. 

“No thank you, but may I ask for a moment of Miss (L/N)’s time? There’s something I wish to discuss with her in private.” 

Before you even had an inch of room to answer, Julia, the sister closest in age to you, swooped in to take Peter out of your arms and pushed you in the direction of Mr. Darcy. 

“Of course, you both can use the sitting room,” she smiled and motioned for the rest of her sisters to follow her upstairs. 

Finding no other option, you led Mr. Darcy into the sitting room. He walked to the opposite side and when you closed the door you crossed your arms over your chest, waiting to hear what he had come all the way from Pemberley to say. 

He stayed silent, unsure of how to string the words together and so you tried to prompt him with a question. 

“How is Georgiana?” 

“She’s well, in good health,” he nodded. 

“And Pemberley?” 

He opened his mouth to say something then paused. 

“It’s not the same.” 

“Why not?” you frowned. 

“It’s not the same without you,” he finally admitted. “The estate is always quiet, Georgiana isn’t engaged in her studies, she misses you, I… I miss you,” 

“Mr. Darcy-,” 

“Please, allow me at least to finish and then if you wish me to leave and never come again I will respect that.” 

You nodded your head, signalling that you were listening and ready to hear what he had to say. 

“When you left you said that it was because you had crossed boundaries and you wanted to own up to your mistakes. I didn’t agree to that from that start, but if that is how you see it then I am just as complicit in crossing those boundaries. I will admit to that, but I crossed those lines because…because…” 

“Why Mr. Darcy?” you stepped closer to him, just a few inches, but it was enough to see the hurt glimmering in his eyes. 

“Because I had fallen in love with you. I still am in love with you. I wish for nothing more than to have you be the first face I see each morning and the last face I see each night. My heart is in agony, ever since you left us, I only wish for that pain to be soothed.” 

Now it was your turn to remain silent. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, in all your time spent with Mr. Darcy you could have never imagined that something like this could occur. He was a gentleman of high status and you were just a girl from the country. 

“I know it’s selfish of me to ask of you to come back for this reason, but I would be beside myself if I didn’t ask if you would even consider doing me the honour of becoming my wife.” 

“I-” your voice was caught in your throat as a couple tears escaped from your eyes. “I would gladly take that honour,” you nodded with a sniff, wiping away a few tears and walking up to him and taking his hand in yours. “And I will carry that honour with me as gratitude for allowing me the opportunity to marry the man I love.” 

Mr. Darcy gently lifted his hand to hold your face tilted towards him as you leaned forward to rest your foreheads against each other. His thumb wiped away a few more stray tears before you moved his hand to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss on his fingers. 

“Is there any chance I may convince you to kiss me?” you asked. “If our relationship consists of boundaries crossed we may as well continue to be consistent.” 

Mr. Darcy chuckled and tucked a finger under your chin, allowing his lips to meet your own in a soft kiss filled with love and admiration for one another. 

When you pulled apart, Mr. Darcy couldn’t help but hold your face in his hands, with a twinge of a smile on his lips. 

“My dear, I know it is customary for one to ask for the blessing of the father when getting engaged, but given the circumstances, I would like to ask your family. Would you be alright with that?” 

You nodded your head, and held one of his hands that was pressed against your cheek as you turned to kiss it. 

“I’ll go get them and make some tea while you talk,” you said. 

You didn’t want to let each other go, but you knew for the time being it would be necessary. When you stepped out of the room, as you had predicted your family was gathered around the door, waiting for some sort of news. 

“Mr. Darcy would like to speak to you all,” you said. “I’m going to go make some tea.”

“(N/N) what did he say?” Julia asked.

“I’m sure that will come to light soon enough,” you nodded. “Go on.”

You shooed your siblings off into the room and your mother followed closely behind with a slightly skeptical look on her face. 

You sat and waited patiently in the kitchen with a cup of tea in your hands until when you looked up at the door you saw Mr. Darcy standing at the entrance. 

“Well?” you asked. 

He simply nodded his head and you couldn’t help the grin that had become plastered on your face. 

You had to contain your excitement and simply stood up to meet him and extend your hand for him to take. 

With one look to each other and a simple nod, you were both ready for whatever would come next.

—

The sun peeked through the curtains on a clear Thursday morning, you yawned and stretched, reaching over to your side only to be met with empty covers. As soon as there was a frown on your face you saw your husband emerge from the adjoining room with two glasses of water in his hands and your expression relaxed. 

“Good morning, Mrs. Darcy,” he said softly, placing the glasses on the table next to the bed and taking a seat next to you. 

“Good morning, Mr. Darcy,” you yawned with a chuckle. “Have you been up long?”

He shook his head, “Just a few minutes.”

“Could you stay?” you asked while fixing a few of his tousled curls. 

“Of course,” he nodded and leaned forward to press a kiss to your lips only to be interrupted by the sound of a soft cry coming from the room next door. 

You were in the middle of pushing yourself up to attend to it, but a careful hand was placed on your shoulder and encouraged you to stay down. 

“I’ll get him don’t worry,” he assured you and not even a minute later, Mr. Darcy walked back into the room with your son cradled in his arms. “I think he wants his mother,” he said while watching the little boy squirm. 

“Oh he’s just hungry,” you pushed yourself into a seated position and held your arms out to take the baby while Mr. Darcy came and sat next to you on the other side of the bed. 

Just as you had predicted, the squirming immediately ceased while he was being fed and it made you chuckle. 

“What is it?” Mr. Darcy asked.

“Nothing, it’s just you get cranky too when you’re hungry,” you let a laugh escape while your husband shook his head with a smile. 

“My darling, you wound me,” he teased and you simply smiled back up at him.

“I’m sorry Fitz, what can I say? Like father like son,” you replied as he wrapped an arm around you and he used his free hand to gently stroke his son’s head, suddenly overcome with overwhelming gratitude that he took a chance to be happy. 

#mr darcy #mr darcy x reader #fitzwilliam darcy #fitzwilliam darcy x reader #pride and prejudice #p&p 1995 #bbc pride and prejudice #pride and prejudice fanfiction #mr darcy fanfiction

[butternutsquashthesenutz]

RWRB hcs probably pt. 1-

•After they get married everyone (mostly June and Nora) started calling Alex princess. Like, "shut up, princess"

•Henry has read MANY fanfics and written several of his own. This includes a secret five chapter story about him and Alex that stays hidden in the depths of his computer

•I know Taylor Swift is a controversial topic in this fandom, but you cannot tell me Henry "queer historian, writer, and dramatic gay boy" would not jam out to and cry over ts songs alone in his room

•David loves cuddling with Alex, and Henry calls him a traitor, but really he finds it adorable

•Alex has definitely brought some feral animal home that he found on the street hoping to save it and raise it as a pet, and then Henry made him give it to the shelter and he cried all night

•June and Nora get a cat. That's it. They're just cat moms

•When Pez, June, and Nora are all in the same place, they are most likely gonna sleep together

•Phillip gets better and he and Henry are able to work on mending their relationship after Mary dies and neither of them have to deal with her manipulation and abuse

•Alex posts lots of thirst traps, and Henry dies every time

•Alex calls Henry lots of pet names I'm Spanish, and also just in general talks to him a lot in Spanish. Henry has very low understanding of what Alex is saying for the first couple years, but he still melts

•Henry eventually tries to learn Spanish and after a while he can carry a conversation. Oscar often makes fun of his pronunciation though

•Alex is an apple user Henry is an android user. They argue about it often

•Alex's shit got rocked when Hamilton came out. He saw it 10 times

•They continue to have a New Year's party for several years after Ellen leaves office.

•They have a daughter and a son, the son is Henry and June's biologically, and the daughter's Alex and Bea's biologically. Both are referred to as aunt though. Also they used IVF not sex, just to be clear.

•When Alex turns 35, a petition is spread around social media trying to get him to run for president. It gets double the needed signatures, but he doesn't end up running.

•Alex usually tops, but not always. Henry is usually more dominant though.

•I know in cannon Bea gets married to someone (presumably a man) but I hc that she's also gay and meets a girl whose picking her friend up from and na meeting. (Idk, I have a whole story set out for Bea's love life)

•Not really a hc, but Henry has def ridden Alex while wearing a cowboy hat

•Pez always buys the children of the super six super lavish and expensive gifts when ever he visits, and becomes the favorite of the aunts and uncles

•After their first fight once married, Alex has a huge panic attack thinking they won't make it together, but Henry calms him down and it doesn't happen again

•Zhara and Shaan have a daughter who is the scariest little girl in the world. Alex is legitimately scared to get on her bad side.

•David has his own insta account and he has many photos in little outfits

•Henry and Alex write letters to each other every time one of them has to go somewhere for work, just for old times sake

•Henry's first novel absolutely kills all the queer teens, and is basically that universe's RWRB

•Alex often steals Henry's Jaffa cakes and won't ever admit it. Henry knows, and he finds it adorable

•Ever so often Alex will get super into some new topic and do loads of research, and write essays or make presentations on it and then share it with Henry so he can teach him everything he now knows.

•Lowkey canon, but Henry's a Maurauders era fan

•He's also a Tumblr girly and has had a secret blog for years

•The super six do slideshow nights, here's an example of one of those nights: Henry: People from History You Didn't Know Where Queer, Nora: The Statistical Likelihood of Each of Us Releasing a Rap Album, Pez: Rating Everyone's Exes, Bea: The Most Embarrassing Stories About Henry I Can Think of, Alex: Hottest Politicians Around the World, June: The Most Embarrassing Stories About Alex I Can Think of (Her and Bea worked together)

•Occasionally Henry will use an American term (like saying chips when he meant crisps) and Alex will use a British term (like jumper instead of sweater), and both get very upset when it happens (whoever didn't slip up finds it hilarious)

•They joke around whenever a gossip site releases an article about their relationship, like, "oh look, I've apparently left you and headed back to England after you cheated on me" "oh, good for you, that was a rude thing for me to do"

#red white and royal blue #red white & royal blue #rwrb #rwrb alex #rwrb henry #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #firstprince #rwrb headcanon #firstprince headcanons #alex x henry #henry x alex

[msmargarita]

✨🤓Johnathon/🕳️ Spot Headcanons✨

These are some headcanons I wrote for my two fics:

i'm not going to turn into a cosmic anomaly and leave you forever

and

i'm really serious this time, baby

It has !!spoilers!! for both of those fics!

It's basically an AU unless I somehow foresaw the future and guessed what happens in BTSV!

Beware the keep reading button. This is HUGE.

🤓 Johnathon HCs!

HE IS A GEMINI. Like come on. Talks a lot, nerdy, silly guy. He is a canonically silly guy! In his first fight with Miles he pretends to have hurt his nose (he doesn’t have one) to trick him. So silly! I would bet there's Capricorn somewhere in there too. And Pisces. I’ll make this man’s whole birth chart if you dare me. Just dare me. I’m insane.

Jason Schwartzman used to be in a band in the 00s. I think it would be cool if Johnathon also had some sort of interest in music. I think he would have tried to learn guitar in college but only got a few chords in before life got too chaotic and every now and then he thinks of picking it back up. 

He is also one of those guys who fanboys over old ass music, especially from the 60s and 70s. Loves Jazz, Funk and Prog Rock. Look at this man and tell me he is not a prog rock guy. He is a nerd, he might even be *shudders* a math rock guy. I also think he would have one completely random favorite artist that has nothing to do with the things listed above, like, idk Lizzo. Or Princess Nokia. He just looks like the type.

I think everyone agrees Johnathon is at least in his thirties, but I put him down as thirty-three in the end. I did that because Olivia is thirty-five tops in ITSV (according to Peter) and since he was her subordinate it makes sense that he would be just a little bit younger than her. 

“But hey! That's too young to get a PhD!” you might say, but I think Johnny is an overachiever. I think he was one of those super genius kids that got in early in college and lived for academia. A teacher's pet even.

He is a workaholic, so when he quits his job he gets really lost and doesn't know what to do with himself. He might have a new job soon doing what he loves, so you’re going to need to be on his ass so he doesn’t fall back into his old habit of overworking. 

I like to think that Miles would get an internship under Johnathon a few years in the future and they would learn a lot together. Jonathan would probably take a week to figure out he is Spider-Man and would cover for him when the boy needs to disappear. This actually sounds like a fun drabble to write about.

Johnathon may be a genius, but like he said, he is not too familiar with relationships. I think he might've had one or two in the past, but everything slowed down when he started working at Alchemax. “I’ve been told” is referring to those past relationships, in which he was probably told that he works too much and never has time to spend with his partners. He’s not been with anyone for a long time and his game consists of buying the first comic book he saw on a shelf in order to ask you out.

But that doesn't mean he is cold. Quite the opposite really, Johnathon is very touchy-feely. He hasn't been with anyone for a while and misses touching and being touched. He is most comfortable when being at least 70% curled around you. 

He smokes Dunhill Carltons (he likes to feel fancy), but less now that he isn't as stressed from work. Like he said, he used to go on walks to smoke and pass by the comic book store you work at before you guys had even met. I like to think he developed a little crush back then.

Had his tattoos done in college, so they are very faded now. He doesn’t think of redoing them because the mere thought of having to stay seated for hours in the same place feeling pain stresses him out. He was a lot more easygoing when he had them done.

He did have a superhero phase when he was a kid. He would fantasize a lot about having superpowers and flying away when the bullies showed up. Never thought about fighting back. Before becoming the Spot, he wasn't the confrontational type. The hero thing fizzled out as he grew older, but he would always dream about being stronger. Being a better version of himself in a kinda superficial, but understandable way.

He still has a bunch of action figures, he thinks they look cool. If you give him one, he won't even care if he knows the character or not, he just likes them.

Even though Johanthon says he is “good-looking”, he does add “for a scientist” in the end. I think he tries to mask his insecurities with humor, always putting himself down with a joke, always saying he’s too old, too corny, too nerdy. In the back of his head he knows the hair and the glasses are kind of a look, but he doesn’t feel handsome. You help as much as you can, but that’s an obstacle for him to overcome by himself. I think after i’m really serious this time, baby he gets better at this.

🕳️ The Spot HCs!

For clarification: the story of i’m not gonna turn into a cosmic anomaly and leave you forever stretches the plot of ATSV to a few weeks instead of a day. Just think of it like Spot taking a little longer to power up instead of a few hours.

Since he was forced to do crime to survive, I think he would've thought to himself: "Well, since I have to go rob a store anyway, might as well be that one where that cute cashier works at." 

Yes, Spot starts tracking and following you after you two meet. He uses his computer nerd powers for evil. A very unhealthy way of dealing with a crush, I think.

Spot can eat but he doesn't get any nutritional value from food. When you drink wine together or when he burns his tongue (?) from tea it's just a placebo effect. I like to think that Johnathon's mind is still inside The Spot's body, so he eats just for habit. He says he gets hungry all the time, but it's actually a deep need to consume everything around him. The little rascal.

As he powers up, Spot gets more confident in himself. He thinks the stronger he gets the further away he gets from Johnathon, his old self. Which, in the end, turns out to be true.

I think at first you don't really believe Spot is an actual supervillain which is why when you see him after the fight in Mumbattan it's such a shock. In a way, you did the same thing Miles did when he underestimated him, even if for whole different reasons. I think even though he knows you care about him, Spot knows you don't see him as a threat and that makes him want to impress you more. 

Spot knows that the reason you keep getting new jobs is because his own crazy supervillain life keeps interfering with yours, so he tries to keep it as much hidden from you as possible. He thinks what you don’t know can’t hurt you! As Johnathon, he feels guilty at first that you’re changing your whole life to go with him to New Jersey, BUT this time it was your choice! Not because of supervillain shenanigans!

He does love you (even if it was too early to know) and wants to be with you, but his head is so lost in the supervillain game, he thinks he can’t stop now. You never really realized how serious he was about “being stronger”. Which is why you never tried to stop him.

I chose I’d Rather Be With You as a theme song because I think it’s a song Johnathon/Spot would enjoy. But I also like how the lyrics match both their feelings towards you, in both fics. He wants to fly away with you once he gets all powered up, he loves your smile, etc. He does want to be your friend until the end as the Spot, but as Johanthon he is really committed to work on his bad habits in order to be with you. We gon' make it this time, baby! I cry, damnit. 

It’s also a surprisingly gender-neutral song, with no physical descriptions in it! Anyone can put themselves in the lover's place. Bootsy Collins is cool like that.

I like to think that, in the end, Spot didn't erase himself from the timeline. He just reloaded an old save. Does that make sense? Like you said, your relationship will always have happened, just in an old, non existent dimension. And since Johnathon and you still get dreams and deja vu about the whole thing (think of it as dimensional residue or whatever), you do have all the EXP of the old save. Johnathon, after going through the literal end of all existence and then forgetting about it, feels something compelling him to finally take a chance and enter the comic book store. It’s like when your body goes through something and it remembers later, even if your mind doesn't. Here's a (hopefully) comprehensive timeline:

the end.

Thank you for taking an interest in my weird AU! I would kill for you 💖

#can someone please make a ready to hole shirt and mail it to me #spot #spot x reader #johnathon ohnn x reader #bagel guy x reader #reader fic #the bagel effect #spider man: across the spider verse #reader insert #headcanon #AU

[barkhoffman]

rest in peace tumblr user barkhoffman 🕊🕊

I'm gonna use this ask I got to springboard an explanation as to why I've gone silent and stopped updating, so! here it is! the Discourse no one asked for!

it was brought to my attention recently that some people on twitter (a site which I no longer use and have not used for years because it is a cesspool) have been vaguing/insulting SLAP, which! sure! fine, that's your right! not everyone has to like what I create, I don't mind that at all! that's not why I vanished, though.

my issue with these "criticisms" is that they ended up insulting who I am as a person. accusations of fatphobia, transphobia, and ableism (among other things) have been leveled at me, and that's where I personally draw the line.

you don't have to like me. you don't have to like what I write. but when you call my moral character into question, I get a little bothered.

an example: some of the accusations include calling me transphobic for using the word "vagina" to refer to a transmasc character's genitals. for those of you who don't know (not that I should have to disclose this information), I am not cis. trans people are not, in fact, a hivemind, and the idea that we should all be ashamed or uncomfortable or whatever the fuck with our anatomy unless we couch it in different terms is actually rather more transphobic than using a medically accurate term to refer to a person's genitals during a smut scene -- a scene which is written from the third-person limited perspective of a 48-year-old cis man who is unfamiliar with transgender issues, so even if it WAS universally offensive to call a vagina a vagina, it would still be in-character.

the thing is, in-character observations, speech, and thoughts are not actually a universal indicator of the author's identity or beliefs. things that you dislike or that make you feel uncomfortable are not automatically morally impure, and you don't have to reach for reasons to say the creator is a bigot because you don't agree with how they portrayed things.

(there's also something to be said about the inherent colonialist racism in the transmed viewpoints that lend to "transmascs shouldn't ever have vagina used to refer to their genitals," dismissing nonwhite cultures with a rich history of third/other genders and gender euphoria. DYSphoria is not the only trans experience. furthermore, calling the word vagina "female-gendered" is a slap in the face to all of us who are NOT female who have no problem referring to our genitals in that way. idk man, are the arguably more gendered terms "pussy" and "cunt" REALLY more appropriate here? should I have used "bonus hole" instead? not sure what the solution is supposed to be.

anyway.)

I could go on and on and get into every little accusation thrown at me and how insulting and ridiculous they are, but I don't want to invite that level of discourse. this is bad enough. it is absolutely batshit bonkers that I, as a nearly 30 year old person, am sitting here typing this right now. it is even more wild to me that at least some of the people involved in this drama are apparently in their 30s as well.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. if those of you who have a problem with my fics expended even half that energy into helping actual real life people instead of defending the nonexistent honor of fictional ones, the world might actually get better.

I know, I know. it feels good to vague on twitter and pretend you're doing activism when you're trashing a small creator's work in a way that's very likely to get back to them. it feels nice to know you've "saved the world from some evil" when you discourage people like me from continuing their projects. it feels like you're making a difference, right?

unfortunately, you are not. I would advise those of you involved in all this to get well soon and mature a little bit past wrongly deducing someone's viewpoints via the fictional works that they create. there are happier and more productive ways to spend your time, I swear.

I'm not mad, honestly. I'm just sort of tired. tired of getting messages asking where I am and what happened. tired of feeling like I have all this bottled up inside. tired of fandoms that would rather stoke fake moral outrage like Republicans than, idk, go to a protest or give a homeless person a dollar or defend POC from your racist uncle at the neighborhood barbecue.

I don't think we as an internet "society" really understand the mental toll it can take on someone to be called things like fatphobic, ableist, and transphobic -- particularly when, in my case, I am fat, disabled, and trans. of course, being a member of a group doesn't absolve you from bigotry against that group. however, when these accusations are leveled based entirely on someone's body of work and not on their actual character, it makes us far less likely to create works, what with the likelihood that they'll continue to be looked at in bad faith by those who have some sort of weird moral high ground point to prove.

I really didn't want to have to post about this and bring the people who like my work down, but I think you guys are owed an explanation rather than silence. not sure if I'll post anything after this, because I'm really too old to be engaging in internet slapfights over torture porn movie fanfics, of all things (I guess I really spoke too soon when I called this fandom nice, drama-free, and welcoming). if my ask box gets too messy, I'll turn it off. idk. just wanted you guys to know where I've gone.

now stop telling everyone I'm dead

#I don't think I'll tag this as anything much bc I'm not that bad of an attention ho #but #for my ocd's sake #ask tag #anonymous

[ultrainstinctslasher]

Can you do a peepaw Myers ? He keeps killing everyone around you but not you and you don't know why but watching him kill turns you on and finally after he kills someone he ends up showing you some affection or just full blown out fucks you

Idk if you write smuts or not though just brainstorming thank you so much !!!

Old Man Myers x GN!Reader (OLD AF)

Warnings: Sexual assault, violence, death, reference to smut, ambiguous ending

Notes: Of course! SO sorry it took me so long, but here it is! And sorry, I'm not too comfortable with full on smut, but maybe soon. Hope you like it! Also, I sort of went a whole other direction from where I began, so I hope you don't mind.

A/N: Guys, hate to say this, but I HATE this, but I'm keeping it. Idk. Bye.

______________________________________________________________

It was killing you, the things that were happening.

At first, you hadn't really taken notice of it. After all, everyone was aware with the fact that the infamous Michael Myers has escaped Smith's grove, and the missing reports surrounding your not-so-close coworker were no surprise.

You two hadn't been close, but it wasn't unusual for you two to be together. You were quite friendly with each other, and you were pretty sure he fancied you, not that you reciprocated the feelings.

When he suddenly disappeared from work, you were actually a bit relieved. He had been getting annoying with all the conversations he would try to strike up. You had hoped that he left the city in fear of the Boogeyman, but when it was revealed that he was missing, and not long after that that he was dead, you couldn't say you weren't guilty.

The convict was, in fact, Michael Myers. Who else would it be? In a small town like this, no one would dare kill each other, very well aware how easy it would be to get tracked down. The only one not afraid was the Shape himself, and he was on the loose.

It was gruesome, they said. Never seen anything like it. Even Michael's past victims weren't brutalized like your coworker was. His face smashed until unidentifiable, organs spilt around the room, limbs twisted in all directions. No one could figure out why The Shape of Haddonfield would target the poor fellow, having no connection to him. But no one could question him, and even if they could, I doubt they would get a response.

While it was odd, and terrifying, knowing that your coworker was murdered, you very quickly got over it. He wasn't close to you, so why dwell on him?

But then, it was your friend. Someone who had actually meant something to you. While they were in no way your best friend, you two had been very close, and had gotten along amazingly throughout the years.

You had mourned them, their death much more painful than that of your coworker. They hadn't allowed anyone to see their corps, and you hadn't known why until you read the news.

They had been found in the same state as your coworker, if not worse. Papers said her hands were cut off completely, as well as gouged out eyes and a cut off tongue. None of those organs and limbs were found.

At least, not by the police.

But by you.

You had found them, in a box, neatly present in front of your door

Not your front door, your bedroom door

Michael Myers was in your house while you were asleep

It wasn't the first time he's done it

And it wouldn't be the last time

You were terrified. The paper and news never covered Michael Myers ever doing something like this. He had never showed any hints of interest at anyone, whether a victim or not, except for a glimpse at the corner of one's eye, which were always reported right away

And you started getting those too

Every once in a while, you would feel someone staring at you from some secluded area, and once you turn around, nothing but a shadow of what used to be there greeted you

You knew better than to expect to see him, he only showed himself when he wanted to

And when he did want to, you would catch a glimpse of a ghostly white mask, much more terrifying than the pictures online or on the news. The Shape was always too far away to see anything else, and that was exactly what he wanted

You knew going to the police was useless. There was nothing they can do about it

Things had gone quiet for a while, with no loses on your behalf, but Michael was still on his spree's, nonetheless.

That was until someone broke into your house

While you were aware Michael had been creeping into your home, as weird and horrifying as that is, you couldn't really do anything, and so you excepted it. You always knew when he broke in, as he would leave some sort of petrifying gift, like a severed finger or animal teeth, or something would go missing, such as your favorite pen, or a book you were reading, or it would be as simple as leaving your bedroom door open when you were sure you closed it.

But this was not Michael. Michael was not loud. And this person was.

Alarm bells sounded in your head, and the first thing you thought of is calling the police.

Reaching to your bedside table, your hand gripped at nothing. Your phone was downstairs

Cursing at yourself in your head, you slowly got out of bed and quietly creeped towards the bedroom door, trying to get a better idea of who broke in and what they were doing

As you leaned against the door, you heard heavy footfalls heading up the stairs.

Whoever broke in was not intending to steal anything. And somehow knew right where to go.

You, as quietly as possible, scrambled backwards until you reached the closet doors.

You hid inside, closing the door, and grasping onto the nearest object that can be used as a weapon. A hanger.

As you heard the footsteps get closer, you began to pray to an unknown force to save you, to wake you up.

The bedroom door creaked open eerily, forcing a shudder up your spine

It was ironic, really. How you felt safer with a mass murder than you did with what seemed to be an immature criminal. A man who wouldn't let his presence known was more comforting than a man who stomps his way upstairs. The figure that murdered and mutilated your friend was a better experience than some guy who probably never thought of the idea of murder. But you had an odd feeling he was thinking of something else.

The intruder walked around the room, clearly looking for something in particular. Someone in particular.

Suddenly, it seemed like all movement stopped. Everything became ominously silent, except for your somewhat raggedy breathing

Abruptly, the closet doors opened and a hand flew towards you

"Gotcha, Swee- agh!"

Using the hanger you armed yourself with, you stabbed the man in the eye and quickly made your way towards the door

You hadn't made it very far before a hand grabbed your ankle and dragged you back

"N-no! Let me go! Please!" You had yelled at the intruder, gaining nothing.

"And why would I do that? You weren't very nice to me. After all, you did hurt me, didn't ya princess?"

He laid you on your back and sat on your stomach, pinning you to the floor

The way he was looking at you made you want to vomit. A revolting predatory gaze swirled through his eyes. The way he was breathing made your body freeze.

Your muscles refused to respond as your assaulter began to move his hands on your body.

The feeling of his palms kneading you flesh was appalling, and made your bones feel hollow and cold

You shut your eyes as you felt tears well up in your eyes. They began to streak your face as your intruder was laughing at your reactions

"Awww. Are you scared? Is that why your face is red? Why you're crying? Is that why your heart is beating so fast? Because you're scared? How cute."

You began to pray for this to end in some way, whether it be waking up or being killed. Heck, part of you prayed for Michael to be here

Little do you know your prayers would get answered

Quicker than one can register, the man was pulled away from you with monstrous force

Just as your attacker had pinned you, your attacker was pinned just the same.

The sudden relief of the man on top of you was gratifying, and you began thanking whoever saved you in your head

Grunts of pain began to fill the room as the man who tried to rape you was suspended in midair by his neck. A large hand was wrapped tightly around the man's throat, applying enough pressure for pain, but not enough to kill him. Not yet.

You looked at the man who saved you, finding him already staring at you. The eyes of his mask served no purpose, as his true eyes were still not visible. The shadows covering him almost made him look inhumane, like a monster. Like the Boogeyman.

The larger of the two males never released his grasp on the man, yet solely placed his attention on you.

Neither of you moved, jus staring at each other. You were oh so very confused.

You have reached the point where you don't particularly fear Michael, knowing he won't kill you, but he still makes you feel uneasy, nonetheless. and his staring was making it any better.

You stayed like that, staring at each other with a few grunts of pain and help me's from the man filling the room, for a couple moments longer, and you trying to figure out what he wanted.

You were still in shock from what happened and couldn't find your voice to ask him, and so the silence pursued

But you didn't need it, you realized it yourself

The revelation of what Michael wanted was shocking, and you shamefully admit that it had aroused something in you

He wanted you to say it

He wanted you to tell him what to do

To tell him to kill him

And that made you feel things you shouldn't

Suddenly, Michaels heavy breathing was all you could hear. The thought of how strong Michael had to be to be able to strangle a grown man with one arm was the only thought on your mind. The smell of blood and death resonating from him was overwhelming your senses. The feeling of anger and anticipation burning around him like a flame was spreading towards you. The only thing registering to you was Michael.

He was patient, waiting for you as if he had all the worlds time. He refused to take his eyes of you as he watched you slowly come to realization of what he wanted, and watched you get tipsy with need

With time, you had found your voice, and muttered the words that sealed the man's fate

"Kill him, Michael"

And with that, Michael had begun his gruesome attack

The man had no time to scream as a knife was plunged into his stomach, ripping it open and revealing his insides.

Michael continued to have his way with the man as you watched with grotesque arousal

You were sure you were going insane. It must be Michael somehow rubbing of on you with his weird gifts and behavior. But you couldn't deny it. You couldn't deny the need you felt for Michael as you watched him demolish your attacker from existence

Michael stopped, seemingly to admire his work. He was crouched next to the now dead man, intently staring at him as if to reassure he was dead

Michael slowly got off from the ground and turned towards you. He made no effort to get closer to you but continued to stare at you the same way as before.

The room was much calmer now with the man gone. You maintained eye contact with Michael, fully knowing what he wanted now.

"Fuck me, Michael."

______________________________________________________________

#rob zombie michael myers #michael myers headcanons #michael myers x reader #rz michael myers #michael myers #halloween 1978 #halloween 2007 #slasher headcanons #the shape #slashers #slasher x reader #rz michael myers x reader #michael myers x y/n #rz michael myers x y/n #michael myers x you #michael myers x reader headcanons #halloween 2018 #halloween 2022 #halloween 2020 #peepaw myers #old man myers #michael smut #michael myers smut #ambiguous ending #open ending

[theteasetwrites]

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon | S1E1 Thoughts

Okay I am gonna list all my positive and negative thoughts regarding each episode (I know no one asked but I feel like this is the only thing I am somewhat “qualified” to talk about ad nauseam on here).

⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️ do not read below the cut unless you’re okay with spoilers

Positive Thoughts

Norman’s acting is so good like?? Listen we all know he’s not Laurence Olivier and he doesn’t claim to be but goddamnit he nails the subtleties of Daryl’s expressions and conveys his emotions really well I think! I’m very impressed

Daryl hot

Obviously the cinematography, setting, and aesthetics are really cool. It’s both gritty but pretty!! I love the gothic architecture and how OLD everything looks, which is only exacerbated by the apocalyptic feel

Everyone in the cast is so good in terms of acting (well, I mean… Laurent is certainly there but he’s a child so we’ll be lenient)

Daryl hot

The walkers are great as usual. I love the burners. Really interesting! I’m kind of wondering if the “experiments” the people on the ship refer to relate to the burners? Maybe they’re making them like that idk.

I love the religious imagery. We have had cults and stuff in TWDU before but I don’t think we’ve had this Catholic vibe going on. I’m a sucker for anything nun related because I have a weird infatuation with them, so I’m all for it.

DARYL BATHTUB SCENE??? They put that in for the girls and the gays and we are LIVING for it

Daryl hot

Daryl is so reminiscent of early seasons TWD era with his witty lines and snark remarks. I feel like we don’t get to see this side of Daryl very often anymore, but now that he has his own show and is THE main character, we get to see those sides that have been neglected again. I also love how much he sort of scoffs at the nuns and their religion. Atheist Daryl we love to see it

It’s cool seeing people in France dealing with the same things our characters have dealt with since the beginning. It’s interesting to see these new parts of the world in this universe for sure

Daryl hot

I honestly just love thinking about how when Daryl gets home he is gonna have such a crazy ass story to tell everyone! It’s gonna be so cute to see him telling all the kids about how heroic he is and ugh yessss

Daryl deserves his own show. He deserves to be THE main character. People who said he can’t lead a show? Nah. Reconsider

I also love that Daryl MIGHT potentially save the world. Cool asf. And if anyone from the original series should save the world, I think it’s him.

Daryl hot

Negative Thoughts:

Okay. I have some very petty/subjective critiques. I realize a lot of you guys probably disagree with me but that’s okay! Don’t read my negative thoughts if you aren’t prepared to be annoyed with me lol. Once again, a lot of these are super petty/nitpicky

First thing that bothers me is that Daryl says he is from the Commonwealth. No. He is from Alexandria, thank you very much. Well, at least he should be. He should’ve been living at Alexandria imo but the finale didn’t really make it explicitly clear where he was living in that year time jump. Basically I just hate the Commonwealth because I have zero attachment to it and it’s just a stupid ass place that I wanna forget about

Daryl seeing Carol in his haze 🙄 … just annoys me solely because Carol annoys me. They could’ve just shown Judith because that would’ve made more sense to me. But don’t get me started, I don’t even want Carol in season 2. Anyway.

Laurent isn’t terrible but he’s kind of annoying in that “I’m so smart I know everything” way. Just very annoying smart kid at school who everyone hated vibes. Plus I just don’t think it’s realistic that he would be THAT smart just from being raised in a convent of nuns

I also fail to understand what they’re doing with Laurent. Is he just some kid that the nuns think is the messiah or is he ACTUALLY the messiah? Like are they gonna throw in a whole other supernatural religious element? Because Laurent conveniently knows Judith’s line from the finale “you deserve a happy ending too.” Right down to the letter. I find it cheesy as hell because I’m so tired of these blatant in your face parallels that are trying to be clever, which always involve children too like we get it children are basically the duck tape of TWDU. Don’t know what to do for this plot? Throw some kids in there!

Neither Positive nor Negative Thoughts:

I don’t trust the nuns. I think they’re gonna use Daryl to get what they want and they don’t really care about getting him home. Worse, I think it could be possible that Isabelle won’t let him get home. She already tried to keep him from using the radio. I’m not saying I hate her character or anything (I actually like her so far… as long as she stays friendly and not… overly friendly), I just think she’s way too invested in this “messiah” stuff to actually care about Daryl so I fear she will take advantage of him. We shall see.

Ok, those are pretty much all of my thoughts!

#twd: daryl dixon #the walking dead: daryl dixon #the walking dead

[endermen-impasta]

Rise of the TMNT: Future Study... Kinda

(( about this dude and the messy future reference in the movie ))

-- Someone made a post about the picture Casey had and how it didn't match up from Casey going to the day the war started, how the Kraang was fast to take over, so on so forth. If you don't know what I'm talking about... I kinda forgot who made that post and didn't like it BUT! I have another thing that tripped me up while watching the movie (( that IDK if someone has pointed out. )) Let's go to the time right after Raph got captured by the Kraang.

-- This moment right here --

-- Leo and Casey have a back and forth, Leo is clearly upset by Raph being captured and fears what could happen to Raph if he doesn't get rescued, clearly understanding how harmful the Kraang can be now (( since he had a near death experience and they hurt Raph -- Raph the brother seen as strong, sweet, and overall invincible { similar to how a child thinks of their parent / parents at a young age} ))

-- As all the same Casey is just focused on making sure the world and Leo survives and doesn't have to go through the hardship that he has to go through. (( clearly the highest important person to him due to seeing -- or at least being told as a kid -- the other brothers die and not having a connected relationship to )) In the moment Casey is also distressed over the fact that he FAILED the only mission he was given from the person he adored. To Casey he needed to complete the mission, not only to save the entire world from complete distortion but to him it was some sort of last task to do so Future Leonardo could rest in peace, knowing that everyone is fine.

-- Whenever Casey was presented with the object he wanted to get, Casey was relieved not thinking about how Raph would be in danger. As soon as Casey said "Nice" (( clearly being an apathetic thought at first )) Leo starts to go off how it's not "fine" or "nice" going over how they captured Raph, which caused Casey to rethink what he should be thinking of. At a stand point of silence Leo ALMOST realized something (( that would be considered completely wrong ))

-- He says "He's from the future, he knew this would happen" (( referencing that Casey is at blame for the events that happened and completely at fault for not warning them ))

-- To this Casey responds with "I didn't know this would happen, it didn't happen in my time." --

-- Let's take a step back. Casey is about the age of Leo and Donnie, (( sixteen years old )) and in the future Leo was thirty / forty before he died. Getting those ages Casey would've been alive when Leo was about twenty something years old. He wouldn't know about what happened the day of the invasion (( unless someone explained it to him -- which to the story the resistance told kids how the sky ripped open and started chaos, no one went into detail about what actually happened, or the whole day was fuzzy, some sort of forgotten memory as a way to survive the war at hand. ))

-- That scene is confusing, being that someone remembering what happened on the day of the invasion being next to nothing and how Casey knew what happened that day without even being a thought in someone's brain yet. He was an UNBORN, literally.

-- From that scene and on they went through an entire trauma enhanced movie and at the end, everyone got the good old cold glass of "here's-some-trauma-that-will-never-go-away-and-affect-your-entire-life-at-every-hour-of-your-living-breath"... So refreshing... That's all that I wanted to go over for now... I WILL be back to hyper analyze some more scenes, but for now I'ma run off and go into a coma.

(( Update, it was THIS post ))

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt future timeline #information #hyper analyzing the rise movie #rottmnt movie #rise of the tmnt movie #save rise of the tmnt #rottmnt analysis #rottmnt movie study #rottmnt Leo #rottmnt casey jr #info dump #gotta love the mental health and thought process information i have #ayooooooo #TMNT 2018

[jackhues]

this time around - angel's world

NOTE: this takes place during april/2024. if you'd like to be tagged in coming works, comment on this <3 also... i think updates on this are starting again now (maybe next part in a week idk)

this is a series/interactive au, so feel free to send in any ideas/requests/thoughts you have about this! angel's world au masterlist!!

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE|| PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX - SMAU (COMING SOON)

verstappen!twin reader x mat barzal ,, f1xhockey

angel looked at the time, nervously playing with her dress.

it was almost five o'clock, which meant her dad was almost here. it'd been a few months since she began dating mathew, and besides max, no one in her family had met him.

the truth was, she was nervous.

she knew everyone would love mat, he was a great person. but her dad might not. he was a person who'd done... questionable things while raising her and her twin. and while she held no grudge against him for those things, mat wasn't his biggest fan.

angel could only hope no one caused a problem today.

"you alright?"

angel looked up at mat, a smile spreading on her face just at the sight of him.

"i'm great," she promised. "just nervous. please don't say anything about the things dad did-"

"i won't," he held her hands in his. "look, i know he wasn't a great person, and i know you're okay with the things that happened. i also know that i'm not okay with those things... but this is only the first time we're meeting. i'm not going to say anything stupid, i promise. i'll be a nice canadian boy for the night, promise."

angel smiled, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "thank you. i know you don't like this, but it's... it's too hard explaining things to dad. he doesn't get it. so we just limit our time with him instead."

"well, it's something," mat shrugged to himself. at angel's look, he raised his hands in the air, "i'll behave. i promise."

"alright lovebirds," max entered the living room, "you ready for the biggest test of your life?"

"max," angel groaned.

"i'm joking, i'm joking," the older twin laughed. "he'll love mat, and if he doesn't, that's fine, because lewis already offered to walk you down the aisle in dad's place."

"max!" she groaned again.

"i'm just making sure everyone knows the options!" he responded.

before angel or mat could respond, the doorbell rang, casting a spell and freezing the trio in their places.

"let's hope he didn't hear that last comment," max muttered, breaking the silence. "i'll get the door."

"i'll get it," angel grabbed max's arm to hold him back.

he'd spent his entire life putting himself in their dad's view, keeping angel away from him and his anger... but they weren't little kids anymore. she could face him.

she slipped down the hallways and to the door, opening it before she could chicken out.

and there stood jos verstappen, nodding at the sight of angel. he didn't smile much, angel knew that. so the nod was his way of smiling... or at least that's what she told herself.

"hi dad," she greeted him, hugging him since she hadn't seen him in a while. "how have you been?"

"same old," her dad responded, entering her apartment and making his way to the living room. "too many races on the calendar this year, flying back and forth is hard."

angel was tempted to remind him that he didn't have to be present at every race, but she managed to keep her mouth shut.

they entered the living room together, and jos did a double take at the sight of mathew.

"this the boyfriend?" he asked simply.

"mathew barzal," mat came over to introduce himself.

jos shook his hand and introduced himself.

"here, have a seat," mathew made space for him on the couch.

max and angel exchanged a glance, slightly surprised that jos took a seat and continued the conversation.

"i never knew he was this polite," max whispered to his twin, and it took angel a second to realize he was referring to mat. "didn't he tell charles to drive his car off a cliff after he beat him at mario kart?"

"maybe it's the canadian in him," angel offered. "lance does similar things sometimes."

"it's so weird," max muttered.

"i know."

surprisingly, the rest of the night and dinner went on without a hitch, and when it was finally time for jos to leave, he even gave mat a hug. angel tensed, but mat patted his back as if the two were old friends.

"he's a good one, huh?" jos even said to angel before leaving. "i like him."

angel didn't know what to say, so she shut the dmaoor in his face.

she walked back to the living room, still trying to process her dad's words, when she noticed mat and max in deep conversation. mathew knew next to nothing about f1, and max knew next to nothing about hockey... they were from two different worlds.

and yet, they sat in angel's living room, conversing as if they'd known each other for years, as if they were friends who simply enjoyed each other's company.

and with a start, angel realized that she did indeed, choose a good one this time around.

#naqia writes! #angel's world! au #naqia's au's! #formula one racing #formula 1 #formula one x oc #formula one #formula one imagine #mathew barzal #mathew barzal imagine #mathew barzal x oc #new york islanders imagine

[lettheladylead]

Hi! I was looking through Magica De Spell’s Wikipedia page today and it says that Magica has a sister named the Wicked Witch of the West, who has children named Witch Child and Warlock. I couldn’t find any information of them online so I was wondering if you knew anything about them, if they exist at all.

If they don’t, do you think you could instead do a character post on Magica’s cousin Matilda? Your old family tree posts helped me a lot in understanding Duck lore.

Aw I'm glad those posts help!! I'm still down for making them 'cause it's a lot of fun for me to find old comics and do some research.

So before I talk about Witch Child, I wanna clarify some things that are relevant to the character.

This is another case where Americans can't stop themselves from taking "sister" and "aunt" literally. Aunt can be used to refer to any older woman in someone's life. Sister is frequently used in stories about witches (because a coven is like a sisterhood/sorority, it's a whole thing). Neither imply blood relation! Even "cousin" is often used to refer to friends/neighbors. Different cultures and languages treat words like that very differently than Americans do.

Witch Child, Warlock, & Witch of the West are all from a very specific time period of Brazilian duck comics where Magica and Madam Mim (from The Sword and the Stone) were living together/dating/???? and interacted with other Disney movie characters. In this specific timeline, the ducks live amongst regular humans which is very strange but you just gotta accept it. Magica also lives in Duckburg I think? It seems like she and Scrooge just run into each other randomly so I believe she and Mim have a house in Duckburg for whatever reason

"Witch Child" is not her name and I don't know why she's referred to like that on InDucks/other wikias. Her name in Brazil (where she was created) is Magali, in Italian she's Maghetta/Maghina/Streghella (inconsistent names in translations are very common), and in French she's Seraphine. None of her comics have an official English publication so again idk where "Witch Child" comes from! But I'll probably refer to her as Streghella for the remainder of this post 'cause it's easier that way.

OKAY now for details:

In Streghella's first comic, Magica gets a letter from a friend asking her and Madam Mim to babysit her friend's daughter. Streghella is whiny and rude and a troublemaker. She ruins a magical career opportunity for Magica and it's pretty funny

Then there's a whole bunch of comics where she just appears for no reason, making trouble. She's a surprisingly powerful witch but she just loves to piss everyone off, especially Mim.

Another important note about Streghella - she was only really drawn by two comic artists during the height of her appearances (in the 70s, pretty much). The above drawings were all done by an artist named Jim Fletcher. But she had a lot of appearances drawn by an artist named Glenn Schmitz, who drew her completely differently.

I don't know if I would've realized these were even the same character if it wasn't documented lol but y'know they didn't have the same resources in the 70s that we have now so they did what they could.

Anyway, from what I can tell her personality stayed mostly in tact through most of these comics. Whiny, stuck-up, nosy, but also very funny and magically powerful. She would occasionally interact with Scrooge or HDL but mostly her appearances were in Magica and Mim comics.

Oh there's one comic where she looks like this for some reason?

BUT THEN what's interesting is Streghella making a few appearances years after her comics all came out. First there was one comic in 1995, then twice in 2011 and once more in 2016. There's also apparently a 2020 appearance but I couldn't get my hands on it :(

In her 1995 appearance she looks really cute but her personality is, well. Personality-wise she's completely unrecognizable. Now Magica makes comments about Streghella always trying to be good and getting in trouble for being good all the time.

(Ignore the bad english translation I was just popping pages into google translate lol)

She's still a troublemaker in the sense that she tries to trick Magica and Mim into consuming a potion that will make them good, kind people. But then the comic ends with Magica doing something nice by choice and it's cute but yeah the character is nothing like her original self.

Her first 2011 comic is where she...wants to go to a Jonas Brothers concert and chats with April May & June online to try and make it happen. Something like that. It follows along with "Streghella is too kind and Magica tries to teach her to be evil" from the '95 comic, but for some reason the colorist made Streghella a brunette. Idk! They also forgot her iconic hat!

Next 2011 comic has Huey Dewey and Louie accidentally traveling to a magic academy. It's very Harry Potter-y? I guess? Streghella is friendly and does some magic. You can tell it's her 'cause of the pigtails and bows. But still no hat :(

In her 2016 appearance, she's been reading April May and June's blog and wants to help them with some problem. Magica is like no be mean and Streghella's like no I want to help! You get it.

This comic is pretty fun. Magica turns herself into Grandma Duck and puts a truth potion into some cake Streghella bakes for the Duck Family and gets a bunch of secrets out of them.

There's also a joke at the end where Daisy accidentally reveals Brigitta's age to everyone (we don't get to see it) but according to this comic, Brigitta is much older than she looks lol Not that we didn't already know that.

Anyway so that's all there is to know about Witch Child/Streghella. She's cute!

Warlock time!

Warlock is Streghella's brother. He's only in four comics total and they're mostly very early comics - his real name is just whatever Streghella's name was at the time but with an -o at the end. If she's Maghetta, he's Maghetto. If she's Maghina, he's Maghino. You get it. He'd probably be Streghello if he had a named appearance more recently.

His personality is not very distinct from Streghella's. He's also magical and a troublemaker. In his first comic he arrives in the mail, in a, like...little jail cell? Crate? Idk? And then Magica and Mim eventually box both kids up into the crate and ship them away.

(Yes that's supposed to be him, apparently.)

He appears in the magic school comic as well...

And that's it! There's not really anything else to know about him.

Last but not least...the Witch of the West! Actually, that's a lie. Least. She appears just the one time. And I'm gonna be honest. I don't think she's the biological mother of these bird children.

'Cause yeah she's a human witch. Idk if she's from another Disney property or if she's supposed to be the witch from the Wizard of Oz. Idk man. But Streghella calls her "mama" and she refers to Streghella as her daughter so I'll take those ones literally.

There's nothing much to say about her - she doesn't have a name and all she does is drop her kid off with Magica and then reappear when Mim and Magica threaten to lock Streghella inside a bottle.

NOW if you're wondering...how do these characters connect to the previously known characters that are related to Magica De Spell?

They do not! The fact that Streghella has made a few recent appearances means you can decide how you want her to fit in, but trying to blend these different canons will not be seamless. You just gotta take what you like. Streghella frequently refers to herself as Magica's apprentice so you can always take that route, too.

Aaaaaaaaaand since you asked, I'm happy to talk about Matilda! God there are too many Matildas in duck comics. I have never met a woman named Matilda in my life. It's fine.

Matilda De Spell (not an official name but I call her that anyway) - Magica's teenage cousin! Is she actually, biologically, Magica's cousin? Probably not. But it's fiiiiiiine.

I did actually scanlate all three comics that Matilda appears in, so you can read them if you'd like:

There's not really anything to know about her outside of these comics. She's tomboyish, spunky, fun. Really looks up to Magica. I think their dynamic is fun and I always like to see more teen characters lol I think I've portrayed Matilda as Amelia De Spell's younger sister but that's definitely not canon, just me trying to stick the blondes together.

Anyway sorry this ended up being such a long response. I haven't had the opportunity to research random duck characters in a while. I hope this has the answers you wanted :)

#streghella de spell #matilda de spell #magica de spell #madam mim #streghello de spell #duck comics #topolino #thekrakenexperiment #carro answers #family tree #duck family tree

[monstersinthecosmos]

ARRIGHT SO the context here was me and @madshelley having a deep ass conversation about how Marius must hate that there are people who knew him when he was alive and remember him being a fucking loser. ((Aided by he’s a scrawny weirdo, my child LMAO)).

(here’s a small 2x sample of how I paced back and forth in my kitchen talking with my hands about it)

And like this goes back to the several hundred times we’ve discussed Marius being a person  who has sculpted an ideal personality for himself that he is not always capable of living by. ie: A patient scholar who wants to be challenged, when in fact he’s quite petty and holds grudges like everyone else and often loses his temper when he’s challenged.

So like I mean, I often wish that I could erase everyone’s perception of me from before I was 30 years old LOL, I’m sure this isn’t an uncommon feeling as we all grow and change. And taking Marius as an example it’s like, there are 3 people alive (that we know of) who knew him as a human and it must bother him so much to know that these three people have seen him at his lowest and most foolish.

It’s not even JUST the “he’s a scrawny weirdo”-ness of it, either, like that Pandora knew him as a wifeless drifter, but someone like Marius who tries so desperately to codify every single one of his emotions and who might feel shamed by his own vulnerably would hate that Teskhamen and Mael saw it, as well. 

Like, Teskhamen has a huge asterisk here because ~turning the Dark Trick~ is such a unique spiritual experience, and it’s not necessarily “Teskhamen saw deeply into my soul in a way others didn’t, and felt all of my secrets and knew I was a wifeless drifter”; I don’t think those are issues here, and Marius in turn would’ve been able to feel the lack of judgment. Still, Marius is one of the characters who was turned against his will, and it’s a massive source of trauma, and he goes on for two thousand years without any closure about it. Mael fills that spot for him as the person to resent and blame for his turning because he doesn’t have a maker.

(I’m thinking also about how Lestat’s and Marius’s turnings were so extremely similar and yet Lestat bounces off into the world without needing to pin his resentment on anybody and Marius refers to his irrepressible optimism in QOTD and it says this in BCtu:

So let me begin the narrative on a night when Marius, the ancient Roman Child of the Millennia, in a fit of pique became impatient with what he referred to as my “nauseating buoyancy and optimism” about the world in general.

Ahjsdklg. Anyway like, without getting into a side tangent about it and bringing their respective mommy issues into the fold to compare & contrast it’s just really interesting that Marius isn’t capable of finding that buoyant optimism in himself.) 

Sorry, back to the point about Teskhamen: It’s not necessarily about what Teskhamen might have seen of Marius’s soul in that exact moment, but also Marius knowing that this was like, the most frightened he’d ever been in his life, him at his weakest, and I just wonder how that balances out against the like Vampire Big Brain, you know? Did the vampire enlightenment kick in fast enough for him to forgive himself for being so powerless? Idk. Anyway, put a pin in this, I’m just saying, his turning was extremely traumatic and came after a year of being powerless, and on a night that his entire worldview was shattered.

The point with Mael, though, in the end, is like. They really did spend so much time together, and VC has a way of yada yada’ing huge swaths of time. Marius saying “and then I was captive for a year while my hair grew out and Mael came to me all the time and I tried to bargain with him to free me” doesn’t really fucking say it, does it? Like a year is a fucking long time for a mortal. A year is a long time.

And so like, how desperate did the bargaining get? How badly was he worn down? How many times did it devolve into piteous begging? 

We already have the other reasons Marius resented Mael afterwards (abducting him in the first place, becoming his maker by proxy) but a person like Marius, who hates feeling weakened by emotion, who wants to always be seen as someone very in control of his feelings, must hate it so much that Mael saw him like that, that Mael has this knowledge of him. 

So often trauma comes down to “I wasn’t in control” and we talk about Big T and little t trauma when it comes to pinpointing it to an event. I mean I think the entire year of captivity (plus the cherry on top of his MURDER) is a Big T, but there’s a whole year of little t in there, too, a whole year of mundane bullshit, passing the time, drinking mead, learning Mael’s stupid songs, where Marius wasn’t in control. And often like thinking down to the barest bones of trauma, no matter what the Big T or the little t is, the most basic conclusion is often “I wasn’t in control.”

Marius is a person who needs control. The way he was turned and the year leading up to it and his immediate burden with the Parents taught him that he needs to be in control. And even as his life smooths out, as he gets older, as he starts building seasons for himself and trying to sculpt the person he wants to be, he so badly wants to be in control of his emotions too. (“I have lived lies,” etc.). 

Exactly how desperate and pathetic did he get!!! Enough that Mael bought into it at some point. 

It’s so hard because for Mael, he knew that the God of the Grove was real. It wasn’t a question of faith for him, he’d experienced Teskhamen and knew. And it makes me wonder like, when we see in Blood & Gold that Mael was just as hurt and resentful that Marius damaged his own worldview and his commitment to his own people, that he took the Naples stuff to heart—was he going to let Teskhamen turn him anyway? Would he have wanted to free Marius after he’d become the new god? Did he want to escape with his deity boyfriend???

SOMETHING HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM AND MARIUS HATES THAT PEOPLE EXIST WHO HAVE SEEN HIM AT HIS WORST 

#cant believe lestat said that marius had a fit of pique lmfao im bawling #marius de romanus #deep ass thoughts about vampires #mael #teskhamen #marius/mael

[kittyartcorner]

I've seen sooo many people make lil reffs of their takes on the bishops so I felt like tossing my two cents in! I have many thoughts about her below if you wish to hear 'em.

Heads up I have still NOT beaten the relic dlc so this info may not line up with canon lore but I do not give a hoot anyway!

*This goes for any Bishop, I HC the upper parts of their limbs are 'stained' with ichor due to centuries of using their godly powers. Think of it like using a frying pan for decades and burnt marks being left behind yeah? Also despite the sharp appearance her hands are surprisingly soft. Bumpy but soft.

*This idea came early on but she's missing a tooth! Where? Idk. Maybe from a nasty tussle she had when she was younger (pre-ban). Probably with Narinder anyway. Also she tends to drool when she gets really excited (which is rare). And will kill anyone who points that out. *Due to her throat injury she has massive issues with her voice. She can speak. But not above an indoor voice. Nor can she continuously speak for long. Needing breaks. Yelling will fuck her up and laughter causes her to cough out blood. She quietly misses being able to croak and sing. *Because of that ^ she gestures a lot with her arms and body. Typically using violence to get her point across, rather then scolding. Also she is stubborn and refuses to learn ASL. Thinking that would make her 'submit to weakness'. *Like everyone else here I view her as a lesbian. Moreee specifically I see her personally as a butch. She likes to be refer to as lord over lady. Sir over ma'am. Etc. Heket herself wouldn't describe herself with any of these modern labels. Because the old faith just dont care/know about 'em. *She is tied of being the shortest bishop alongside Leshy. And here is the order of which sibling she is closest with: Shamura, Kallamar, Leshy, and Narinder. Despite this order she really loves and cherishes all of her family (Narinder too but she wont ever admit that). Those two always had some indescribable tension as kids. Only got worse after the betrayal. Also why yes I did noticed months ago that her body type is basically King K rool's and I am okay with that.

#cotl #heket #cult of the lamb #artists on tumblr #hell YES im so happy I finished this. My wifey

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

Hey so idk if you would know this but where did the term canyon in reference to Izzy fans come from? I feel like I just started seeing it like three days ago but everyone seems to already know what it means

lol so disclaimer that this ask has been in my inbox since september 23rd and alsoooo i might not be the best person to ask bc i am belothed by many who consider themselves part of the izzy canyon (which is their right). so if you asked an izzy fan about this you would probably get a different answer. also from what i can tell the term originated on twitter and i don’t go there.

the tl;dr that i heard secondhand from someone who identifies as izzy canyon is that at some point last year (summer or fall-ish i think) a lot of izzy fans were blocking so many people who didn’t like izzy that a lot of them ended up being unaware of general fandom trends and it became a running joke among them that izzy fans were isolated from the rest of the fandom in an "izzy canyon." and then allegedly the term expanded to just mean "if ur not a dick abt ppl liking izzy u can be in the canyon." THAT BEING SAID there are other ppl who had a very different experience with how "the canyon" originated and what kind of fan space it tends to be.

(slightly longer explanation below)

the thing with The Canyon is that to understand its origin and also why some fans have a problem with it, you gotta know two things:

there are annoying puriteen anti types on the internet who think liking certain characters make you a bad person. from what i can tell theyre mostly on twitter and tiktok. these people are annoying but also in my experience they're usually pretty easy to block and ignore.

the popularity of izzy hands is disproportionate to his narrative role in the show, and the popular fanon interpretation of izzy hands casts him not only as a principal character but as a much more sympathetic, righteous character than he is in canon. THIS DOES NOT MEAN I THINK ANYONE IS A BAD PERSON FOR LIKING IZZY. this DOES mean that i think ppl who think ed is izzy's domestic abuser are wrong. and also this is part of an age old fandom trend of fandom favoring a masc white guy who is often a side character and also often an antagonist.

so from what i can tell. in the early days of the ofmd fandom (spring-summer 2022) there was a lot of #1 going around on twitter, screaming about how if you liked izzy hands then you're a racist abuse apologist or something. at one point a throwaway account tweeted a callout for a popular izzy fan and said "we know they live in this area and work for this company, so these are the locations where they might work. everyone should call these numbers and tell their job to fire them. also we're gonna target these izzy fans next" and like, obviously this account was pretty quickly taken down. but it was a pretty scary thing and left a lot of izzy fans pretty paranoid, hence the blocking everyone who didnt like izzy.

(there was also a "izzy hater group chat" twitter account that was literally just a small group of mostly minors posting memes and also abt izzy that got accused of being connected to that whole mess. but afaict those guys have nothing to do with harassment of izzy fans they just dont like izzy)

so the thing is now that all of that has been used to justify shutting down any type of conversation about #2, or writing off anyone who posts meta about izzy that isnt like, "he works so hard and is so unappreciated despite everything he's done for ed" as an "izzy anti." analyzing izzy critically and posting this in the #izzy hands tag on tumblr is likened to genuine harassment.

oh lol and speaking of harrasment: there was also a problem with ppl on tumblr getting anon hate, and izzy fans will tell you that the anon came from an izzy hater who was targeting izzy fans bc the anon messages use "izzy critical rhetoric." however as someone who has posted "izzy critical" metas or whatever, i have actually gotten the same harassing messages accusing me of being an izzy stan and a racist abuse apologist. that's not what a targeted harassment campaign looks like. that's all been less of a problem ever since tumblr made it so you need to be logged in to an account to send anonymous messages.

anyway my stance on all of this:

i don't hate anyone for liking izzy. i am critical of certain comments/behaviors i often see from ppl who identify as izzy fans, but izzy fans are rarely the only ones who have this problem. from what i've seen tho, a lot of it comes from izzy fans.

before i ever saw even a hint of harassment against izzy fans, i saw izzy fans coming onto my posts and to posts by fans of color trying to argue that these posts were contributing to their harassment. from my perspective, it looked a lot like fans of a white character were trying to shut down conversations abt their favorite guy, especially when those conversations were being had by fans of color. i was very skeptical and oftentimes pretty dismissive abt the existence of this harassment.

since then tho ive done a pretty deep dive into the anon harassment on tumblr, and also looked at takes from different perspectives on the whole thing, and my conclusion is that there is harassment of izzy fans, however it is on the same base-level shittiness that most people experience from just... being on the internet. death threats and insults and slurs are literally just part of being on the internet. and yes, it SUCKS and it's wrong and nobody should have to put up with it, but izzy fans are not victims of specific targeted harassment. theyre victims of being on the internet and having to put up with general internet shittiness. and im sympathetic to that up until ppl start using "ive been harassed for being an izzy fan" as an excuse to be incredibly nasty (check out this tumblr acct for examples of what i mean lol). the ofmd fandom is annoying and parts of it are toxic but like, by no means is this the most toxic fandom to ever exist. we're not at "undertale fan giving out cookies with needles in them at a convention" levels just yet.

finally, tangentially related: i am inherently wary of fandom sub-groups that like, name themselves?? in my experience, the more people make being a Type Of Fan part of their identity the more it tends to lead to problems. this goes for fans who label themselves "antis" or "anti-antis" or whatever the fuck. i've personally been called an "izzy anti," an "izzy hater," and an "izzy critical fan" but like, i dont really call myself that?? it just seems weird to me idk. it gets to be very "us vs them" on default with little nuance and ive never found this kind of thing to be like, productive in fandom spaces. but that's just me.

#ask #anon #mine #txt #link #og

[foxsarah]

for those who are unaware

the infamous "everyone hates me because i defend an actor nobody likes and therefore am a special little victim despite harassing countless mbav-centric blogs"-blog found her way into me & @/morganweir's discord the other night. this post will serve as information for anybody on discord who happens to be unaware of who she is/uncomfortable with interaction. this will also be a retelling of just??? other strange shit theyve said/done in the server??? so yeah 👍

anything with a * will have proof under the cut for the sake of being concise, alt text not yet provided at the time of posting, server members that are not mods have been scribbled out for the sake of their privacy

this is her discord handle, which used to be completely different when she joined. her first username was "sweetgoldensunflower_67494"*, until she changed it to "bennyweirsgirlfriend_86787". to most of us, this was an immediate red flag/signal that this might've been "the benny anon". to me and mer in particular, we wanted to wait to see if we'd possibly misjudged someone's character before making any attempts to kick or ban. some may consider that too slow of a method for taking action with this person, when really, there are a handful of atticus/benny "defenders" to this day who are more normal about hiding that part of themselves than this person, and it would've looked even worse if we kicked someone for seeming like the benny anon.

and for a minute or so, she too seemed normal, until she made her intro. where she faked her age.

you'll notice that a lot of her messages are edited, and some members brought to my attention that her intro said "20" at first instead of "24". why on earth would a 20something year old have their screen/username as "girlfriend of canonical child"? idk! regardless i hadn't noticed the change in her intro due to being busy irl for the majority of her interactions. speaking of interactions,

i'm never going to fault someone for not knowing how to use discord, newer members to our server most likely haven't been using it as long as older members, but this exchange was in reference to our "rules & roles" channel that is set to "read only" mode for members who aren't mods. i assume the "permission" she was talking about was the ability to write messages in that channel.

bringing discourse into our channels isn't exactly uncommon, as most of us are mature enough to have conversations that don't get into personal absolutes like this, in regards to a member's video essay on radio rebel.

at this point, the language used by her messages were just carbon copies of her anons** as all of them followed the same theme of her "fave" being "hated" or attacked. she would go on to assume the worst** of other members the same way. this was expect of her as anyone who's had the displeasure of the benny anon in their inbox knows how she likes to go on her tangents. what we did not expect was her finding a server member's personal instagram page, going through their following list, and choosing to make unnecessary commentary on it.

this was the last straw for me, as i have no patience for cyberstalking no matter how "small" it may seem. i proceeded to ban & block her.

i suggest that yall reading this do not continue to engage with her, especially those who are members of the mbav server, as i'm pretty sure it would do nothing to protect people from potential harassment, nor would it benefit us as people who just want to partake in enjoying mbav.

that's all 👍

*original username

**personalizing critiques of atticus mitchell as "hate"

#no main tags bc i think this will find its audience lol #like i said guys. if we ignore her and block her every chance we get she will eventually tire herself out #kinda being a hypocrite by posting this but i ultimately just want us as a community to stay informed & alert. peace