#and am dying

[werewolfetone]

Dear god. please make all superyachts explode tomorrow. amen.

#i hate them and they are ruining my life #do you have any idea what it's like to go to work and have to hear 'ya the harbour is dying because of the superyachts and there- #-isn't a thing we can do about it' #i am this )( close to becoming the joker but with superyachts #anarchism #greatest hits

[cymk8]

her hair so CRISPY

(commission!)

#bg3 #bg3 fanart #shadowheart #baldur's gate 3 #love how i threw her in a lake one fanart ago and now she's sufferin the consequences #as someone who has dyed their black hair to platinum blonde. #YOU SHOULD NEVER LIFT YOUR HAIR THAT MUCH IN ONE NIGHT I AM BEGGING YOU #she can do it bc hot girl shit #but doing this irl???? will snap your hair in half #anyway #the commissioner said shadowheart and i went feral. blacked out. let selune take me

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

#blue eye samurai #mizu #akemi #kinuyo #bes #women are birds okay they are BIRDS #the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show??? #when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her #akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger #NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women #because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right????? #and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME #also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad

[humming-bird10]

Someone in my fb chicken group has a little bearded bantam that likes to sit on shoulders so they did a pirate photoshoot and I am losing it

Just look at it!! THE LITTLE HAT!!!

#I am absolutely dying #this is the best #chickens #chicken adventures

[nipuni]

"All in all, not all that bad - being born I mean. Because I could hear music, and I heard Christine."

#phantom of the opera #the phantom of the opera #erik #cherik #christine daae #yeston and kopit #my art #his dying speech haunts me forever #I love him #I'm posting more than usual because I'm doing next month's patreon work in advance #because I am hosting family until the end of the year and have a ton of work to do on top of it 😖 #so please excuse the post timing inconsistencies

[crybaby-bkg]

I think Deku has a bit of a mean streak, actually. he’s no Bakugou—that’s for sure—but he’s not this innocent, sweet angel baby that the media has painted him out to be. but you only catch it when you least expect it, when you’re pushing his nerves, when the stakes to everything around him are high, when he’s tired of endless sleepless nights and just—snaps.

“Oh?” you go, grin unfurling like some grinch, chin resting on your hands as you leer at him from across his expansive desk. “You’re mean.” your words are teasing, a snarl that curls your mouth up. Deku stutters, eyes going wide, jaw snapping shut in surprise as he tries to think back on how rude he just sounded.

“No, I’m not—I mean, you wouldn’t stop and I just—there’s a lot on my plate right now—and you just—you keep on—I’m not—I’m not mean.” He’s sputtering, hands all over the place, the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose falling even lower with how he jabbers on and on. it’s endearing really, to see how he tries to upkeep his image of being so kind and understanding, even though his nostrils just flared at you. and his eyebrows turned down and he gritted at you, his hands were balled into fists, his words were so nasty, so ugly, so unbecoming for Deku.

you liked it. loved it even—vowed to get him like this every single fucking second that you could.

you pick and poke at him whenever you see him, teasing him and pulling at him. pushing him around even though the hero is so much stronger than you, so much bigger. and he lets you, tries to defend himself but—that’s not what you want. you want the ugliness, the snark, the mean.

he snaps, eventually, when you least expect it. grabs you up in black whip when you go to push him against the wall for the third time in only a minute, his eyes suddenly dark, the aura of the room suddenly charged.

“That’s what I was looking for.” you whisper to him, the grin spreading your face quickly dissipating in only seconds when you become the prey. when you become the one pushed up against the wall with teeth at your neck, a hand in your underwear, bullying your hole with too thick fingers.

“Why do you want me to act like this? Be so mean to you, huh?” he sounds so frustrated with himself, with you, growling and nipping and licking when you don’t answer quick enough. but your breath is caught in your lungs because finally—finally, did you get what you wanted. it just took a little bit of pushing, you suppose.

#omg I wrote this idea down last night and couldn’t even type it up #bc I took some sleep meds and it put me out SO FUCKING QUICK???? #usually I don’t lay down until like an hour and a half or two #but it was literally like 40 mins and I was DONE!!!! #but I finally wrote it :D #there’s also been so much talk of him on the dash and i am. very much so liking this #I miss him bc I don’t think about him enough #but I also think he can be. so mean. like NASTY mean when his limits are pushed enough #ohhhh my god I wont him so bad #okay gn I took more meds bc my pelvis has been in so much pain???? #just the right side too??? omg AM I DYING GELP #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #deku treats! 🍬

[kvnghs-archive]

hi it's 1am but here's my weirdo boxcats since i never came back today akdkejsjddod

#legit feel like I got mild food poisoning #and am dying #rip 2 me #but have these weirdos and i will be back tomorrow after i death sleep

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

the way his carefully created mask comes off whenever he's with her and he starts acting his age

#i also like him the best when he's being immature #is anybody dying because of this episode #because i am #kusuriya no hitorigoto #jinshi x maomao #the apothecary diaries #anime

[dramatic-long-coats]

Rest In Peace dearest Andre Braugher. You will be terribly missed. 😭♥️

#I wasn't ready for this!!!!! #daddddddddddd #captain dad #I AM SAD #why are all the good ones dying?????? #take Woody Allen! #aight imma head out #andre braugher #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #captain holt

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[pigeon-princess]

A few locations in Barovia Valley that our party has seen so far

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #curse of strahd #cos #strahd #dnd art #Barovia #Barovia Valley #Vallaki #my art #ravenloft #Barovia Village #pigeon princess #dungeons and dragons art #hey I love drawing backgrounds now #I have SUCH vivid memories about each and everyone one of these locations #unknowingly watching Viktor commit horrible crimes in the burgomasters attic #Luci dying in argynvostholt.... benoit seeing his own head on display..... #Silas and viktor absolutely ripping into Luci post-dinner in the carriage #Berez..... I am still traumatised by you.... #babes in the woods #silas shaw #silas

[mabbbish]

wonderful day to remember ninjago has a canon highschool au

#mad as hell i posted this like two days ago and tumblr ate it then logged me out of my acc???? #lloyd has dyed blue hair inspired by mr snail dood inspired by that one ninjago scriptwriter that said he would btw. if you even care #anyway there are many scenarios buzzing in my noggin about gaps in the movie i’m filling them all with hcs #like i am so sure nya could go into service or social work or law or security because shes a genius when it comes to laws and rights #but she has anger issues and she hates authority so she can’t get a job anywhere #that’s why she loves being a ninja!! #plus her steel cap boots are for stomping on people!!! #hate zane’s characterisation in the movie it’s creepy asf in this he’s just everyone’s favourite lab partner #anyway more hcs in art cominbb soon #ninjago #the lego ninjago movie #tlnm #lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #ninjago lloyd #ninjago jay #ninjago nya #kai smith #nya smith #ninjago kai #ninjago cole #ninjago zane

[beam-meup-scotty]

spock , roughly two seconds before doing something so unhinged no one else has even thought of it : good thing i’m a vulcan and i would never do something irrational or illogical lmaoo

#y’all remember the entirety of the galelio 7 when his solution to everythjng was just to Fuck Around and Find Out #in the amoeba episode where he was like no guys don’t rescue me it’s for Science #the man trap when he was slapping the monster in the form of bones’ former lover to snap bones out of it #um the one where got infected with those fake throw up thingies and BLINDED HIMSELF ?? #the one where his father was Dying and even though there were plenty of other people who could command the ship He Needed To Do It #several other instances i am forgetting #i literally love him #star trek #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #mr spock #captain kirk #doctor mccoy #dr mccoy #incorrect star trek #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #mccoy #star trek tos

[ryllen]

I was just THINKING OF HOW ANNOYING Sebek is, H O N E S T .

#and something just FLIPPED in me fshdsh I JUST LOVE SHIP DYNAMIC WHERE BOTH ENDS CAN JUST YELL AT EACH OTHER NONSTOP FHSDHSD IT'S TOO FUN tO #DRAW and then EVERYTHING JUST WENT SO FAST AFTER THAT FHSHSDHS just when she said she was gonna be a spectator only fssh gomen everyone fhs #twisted wonderland #twst #sebek zigvolt #twst yuu #twst mc #malleus draconia #deuce spade #twst grim #ace trappola #mozus trein #fanart #glorious masquerade #FSDHS I EVEN CONSIDERED SEBEK THE MOST UNPOPULAR ONE FROM EVERY BOIS ON TWST FSHDSDH #AND HERE I AM BECAUSE HE FITS MY YUU IF HE JJUST SNAPPED OUT HIS MALLEUS OBSESSION FOR JUST A LITTLE BIT #I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FUN THIS IS TO DRAW FHSDHSD #I am not kidding WHEN SEBEK IS ASSIGNED AS MANDATORY PARTNER ON MATERIAL BATTLE #i was like N O HE IS SO UNPOPULAR NO ONE IS SETTING HIM AS MAIN FHSDH #I'M DYING #WHY DID I END UP WITH SEBEK #FSHDSHD #THE UNPOPULAR ONE is just TOO FUN TO MESS UP SOMETIMES #BUT SERIOUSLY #HOW DARE HE KEEPS SAYING HUMAN THIS HUMAN THAT IT'S PUSHING MY NERVE THIS GUY FFHSD HDSDSJ #in waht way is he evil #HE IS JUST ABSOLUTELY HIGH IS ALL #STOP HIM FSHD #HE IS EVEN WORSE THAN IDIA IN TERM OF OTAKUNESS FSJDSHDHS

[symphonyofsilence]

What drives me even more insane about this scene is how you'd expect Gojo to imagine High school era! Geto in the crowd. Or at least not the cult leader, worst of all the curse users Geto Suguru. But no, it's the cult leader Geto. It's Geto as Gojo last remembered him. As Geto last was. Whatever choices Geto made, wherever his choices led him and them, however he was, whoever he was, traumas and messed up ideas and bad choices and ill reputations and scorns and all. Gojo wanted Geto Suguru there. Not any ideal version. Not any "what if" version. Not any "at some point in time before things went downhill" version. Not any "when your hands weren't stained with innocent blood" version. He knew very well what he wanted. And he wanted it all the same. He wanted Geto Suguru. However he was. He just wanted him to be there. He just wanted him to be.

And he didn't want him to help him, he didn't want him to fight with him even if they were strongest together and always fought together for a while. He just wanted him to be there in the crowd and cheer him on. He just wanted him to stand there and give him one of his sweet, heartwarming smiles that shaped his eyes into crescent moons. He just wanted him to be. Then even if Gojo had died in the end anyway, he would have been satisfied. It would have been worth it. Only if Geto was there.

#his love is so pure! it's so real! it drives me insane! #'this is pure love' playing in the background while Gojo said his last words to Geto before his death was a perfect choice! #people died because the strongest sorcerer alive didn't make any move against his batshit boyfriend for 10 years #then couldn't burn his body after he had to kill him. and then froze like a deer in spotlight after he saw his body in the subway #and the same thing is true for Geto his dead body literally came to life to protect Gojo #(the very first case among Kenjaku's many hosts during centuries) even after Gojo had killed him! and he bore no grievance towards Gojo #even in his last moment. to the point that even Nanako & Mimiko knew that Geto had no problem dying by Gojo's hands. #'Whether you come as a lover or an executioner I am ready to receive you.' #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #geto suguru #suguru geto #satosugu #gege akutami #my two cents

[icantdothistodaybruh]

THE... THE NEW YANA'S ART....

HOW ARE WE FEELING SEBACIEL NATION??

#I AM SJSOZJDJS #TH.. THE HA.. HANDS........ #i won't live up to the actual release I'm dying r now #sebaciel #kuroshitsuji #black butler #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #official art