It's You - Choi San | 3 AM
Pairing: San x Reader
Genre: smut, crack, fluff, angst, roommates to lovers, BFF’s Lil Bro!AU
Series Rating: M (18+)
Drabble Warnings: sneaking around, sloppy making out, lots of cuddling and kissing, honestly this is super soft, drunk San is a whole different type of menace, a little angst on OC's part, pet names deployed as weapons (baby)
Word Count: 2.1k
Disclaimers: SFW, obviously I don’t own ATZ - they just inspire me
Summary: He was only supposed to be a temporary roommate. Your best friend’s little brother, crashing on your couch for a few weeks. That’s it. How did this happen?
A/N: This started with talking about drunk San with @minttangerines and @kiestrokes, and then @moni-logues made me miss this couple, so boom! New vignette! I should warn you that I wrote this over the course of 2 days, entirely between the hours of midnight and 5 am because I've been staying up wayyyy too late to watch the Coachella livestreams (can we talk about Chellateez?! because holy shit!), so it's probably a mess and it's unbeta'd, so… blame any typos or incoherency on my fucked up sleep schedule! 🥱
Lyrics are from "Moondance" by Van Morrison, inspired by that one toktoq of San singing that song, which absolutely killed me.
Taglist is open! Reblog, comment, or send me an ask to be added! You can also send me any ideas/thoughts you might have for a future scenario - who knows, it might end up in a drabble! 💕
It’s You Masterlist 🐈⬛ ATZ Masterlist 🐈⬛ Main Masterlist
It’s three in the morning, and you’re wide awake, at your desk, working frantically on an article whose deadline is mere hours away. For not the first time tonight, you curse your natural inclination towards procrastination and scrub your hand down your face, wishing you’d chosen a different career.
There’s some noise outside your door and you realize San must be home. He’d been down at the Blue Bird with Hongjoong, drinking and hanging out with Wooyoung as he bartended. From the way San’s shuffling around, it sounds like Woo had been his typical kind self and given San more generous pours than he should have. A loud “oof” resonates, and you hear the armchair scrape the floor a bit, as if he were setting it back in its place. You wince, hoping he didn’t wake his sister, who has an early shift and needs to be up at dawn.
“Noona. Nooooooona.” Tap tap tappity tap. “Are you up? I can see - I can see your light.”
San raps on your door, calling out to you in a voice that’s hushed but maybe not quite as quiet as he thinks it is. From his spot on your bed, Nero lifts his head off his paws at the sound, then blinks at you with his bright green eyes.
“I know. He’s loud as fuck, isn’t he?” With a cluck of your tongue, you quickly hop up and open the door. San must’ve been leaning against it, because suddenly you’ve got a mountain on top of you, a loose-limbed one at that, eagerly but clumsily wrapping its arms around you. “San!”
“Hiiiii,” San coos into your shoulder, where he’s buried his face. You shudder slightly as his breath tickles your skin exposed by the tank top you wear, and stagger away from the door enough to close it quietly as you can, not an easy task to do given the giant mass of man hanging his dead weight on you.
“You know, your sister is sleeping just on the other side of this wall,” you remind him, but he doesn’t respond, too busy lathering the column of your neck with tiny kisses. “San. Come on, sit down.”
With some stumbling from San and a not insignificant effort on your part, the two of you make it over to your bed. Your attempt at coaxing San into a sitting position fails miserably as he promptly splays on his back, pulling you on top of him. Nero hops off the bed in a huff.
You go down like a sack of flour, not a gram of gracefulness in your fall, but San appears not to notice when your chin bounces off his sternum or your knee rams his thigh. He sighs contentedly, wrapping his arms around your back, tucking you against him.
“Mmmm. So nice,” he murmurs, resting his cheek against the top of your head.
It’s three in the morning, and you need to finish this damn article. Except that right now, your body is telling you that what you really need is to stay exactly where you are. Because the minute the warmth of San’s embrace surrounded you, your stress melted away. The steady rise and fall of his chest calms you, makes your own breathing slow. You close your eyes, nestling closer to him, sliding your own arms around his waist. You could so easily fall asleep like this.
But he can’t sleep here.
“San. San, are you awake?”
“I’m awake,” he replies, but with closed eyes, which doesn’t really give you a lot of confidence in his response. “I am,” he insists when you shake him, rolling his head away, but he still doesn’t look at you.
“Don’t fall asleep,” you warn him sternly. “I mean it!”
San smiles, the one that tells you that he knows you’re going to give in to him, which is the smile you tend to see him flash the most often, because you’re weak for him and always giving in. But this isn’t one of those times when you can indulge him. No matter how much you want to.
“Wish you’d come to the bar tonight. Wanted you there.”
You knew that. He’d told you as much when he’d texted earlier. Unfortunately, you had to turn him down for the sake of remaining gainfully employed. He’d tried to convince you otherwise at first but finally said he understood. And then sent you a series of sad selfies, each one more pathetic than the last, lips puffing to an extreme. Because he understands the power that pout holds over you.
It’s embarrassing how bad you’re down for this man.
San’s fingers dance idly down your spine, and you sigh, eyes slipping shut again as you speak. “Believe me, I would’ve rather been there with you.”
He hums, fingertips quickening their light minuet. He mumbles something into your hair, low and unintelligible from the way his lips are smushed against your head, so it takes you a few seconds to realize he’s not talking, he’s singing.
“... marvelous night for a moondance, with the stars up above in your eyes…”
“San,” you begin, but before you can warn him not to get any louder, he does so anyway, raising his beautiful voice a little, starting to get into it.
“A fantabulous night to make romance, 'neath the cover of October skies…”
“Shhh!” Your shushing is cut short by your giggling, as you clap a hand over San’s mouth. “Oh my god, now is not the time for this!”
This is one of San’s more notable habits - when a song gets stuck in his head, you’ll hear him singing it for days, just walking around the apartment humming the melody or, if he has an audience, belting out the lines. He knows how much you love his sweet tenor. Another fact about you he’s filed away to devastate you with at the most opportune times.
Like when you need to kick him out of your bed.
He continues singing despite your hand pressing on his lips, slurring the words directly into your palm. His eyebrows are working overtime, top half of his face playfully conveying whatever lyrics are being smothered against your skin. He’s so ridiculous, so over-the-top, even at three in the morning when anyone else would be exhausted, like you felt before he walked into your room, since his energy is infectious and perked you up better than the multiple cups of coffee you downed in your desperate attempt to stay awake. That’s San for you - he’s always giving you something when you need it - his time, his help, his energy.
So you decide to give him something back, and replace your hand with your mouth, drawing him into a tender kiss, imbuing it with all those things you feel but never say. His muffled singing becomes a hum becomes a moan, at first surprised, then pleased. One of his hands drops to your thigh and with a bit of urgent tugging, he maneuvers you on top of him, chest pressed to chest.
His kissing is only the slightest bit sloppier when he’s been drinking, wetter from his tongue caressing yours with somewhat less skill than usual, but it’s never bothered you. You like seeing this side of him, looser with his inhibitions, with whatever holds him in place - or holds him back. One day you’ll ask him to show you more, when you’re both sober.
And when things are different. Less… ambiguous between the two of you.
If you reach that point.
“Noona.” San whispers, thankfully pulling you from the heavier thoughts threatening to sink you right out of the moment. You open your eyes to look at him as he pecks your cheeks. “I like kissing you.”
You grin, letting your forehead knock against his. “Yeah, I kinda noticed.”
“Aren’t you going to say it back?” The look he gives you would melt the hardest of hearts. This is why you’re not afraid to be needy with San. There’s no reason to be, not when he’s just the same.
“I like kissing you too,” you declare, kissing the tip of his nose, laughing at the way his eyes cross as he follows your lips. “But now’s not the time for that, either.”
“Then what time is it?”
Laughing, you gently guide him into a sitting position, keeping your arms looped over his shoulders. His lust is morphing into sleepiness, eyelids drooping as he gazes at you, and your heart goes so soft at the sight of him.
“It’s time for you to go to bed.”
“Okay,” he chirps, immediately flopping onto his back again.
“Ohhhh no, not here. You gotta go. I still have to finish my work, and you…” The words stick in your throat. You can’t be here. You don’t want to say them. You want him to be here. Tonight, and tomorrow, and on and on.
But that’s a conversation for another time. Not three in the morning.
“You have to go,” you groan, sliding off the bed and grabbing his arms, less gentle and more insistent this time. “Come on, get up!”
San lets out a whine of protest. “But baby, why can’t I stay here?”
Oh, he would drop a ‘baby’ now, slipping it in so casually, so naturally, like there’s nothing unusual about him calling you that. As if it’s not something new he only started doing the other day, happening maybe a handful of times since.
Since the two of you have been doing this undefined thing, there’s really only been one unspoken rule. You sleep in your bed, and he sleeps on the couch. Even on the nights when Haneul’s working the late shift, or she’s over at Jongho’s. You never know if she’ll come home early, so you don’t risk it. It’s just easier this way.
Doesn’t mean you like it, though.
“Because. If Haneul catches you coming out of here - “
The sound of a door opening makes you freeze right down to your tongue, leaving your sentence unfinished. Your head swivels towards your own door. A pair of feet pad down the hall, getting closer, then fading away, until you hear another door being closed. The bathroom.
“Noona.”
You turn to find a sober-looking San staring at you. He reaches out, hands settling on your hips, holding on to you as you stand between his legs. Clinging again.
“She’s in early today, right?”
The two of you probably know Haneul’s schedule better than she does. You nod.
“Then I’ll just stay in here. She’ll think I never came home.”
He makes it sound so simple. So reasonable. He’ll stay here until she leaves. Why didn’t you think of that? Is it because you don’t like thinking of San with someone else, even if said person is an imaginary person who exists solely to provide an excuse that will allow you to get what you want? And if you get what you want now, it’s only going to hurt more when you can’t have it anymore?
Yeah, that’s probably it.
“I don’t know…” you bite your lip.
“Come on,” he wheedles, drawing you into his lap again, cupping your face with both hands. “Let me stay with you. Don’t you want me?”
And there it goes, the last remaining bit of your resistance.
“Okay.”
San seems a little shocked, face lighting up in delight, and you wonder if it’s at how quickly you agreed, or that you agreed at all. Maybe both.
“But we have to be quiet. So, you know…” You trail off, gesturing wordlessly.
“No moondancing?” He emphasizes the word heavily, lifting a brow, and you roll your eyes but grin as well.
“Right, none of that.”
“Just cuddles?”
As if he needs to ask. You nod. “But I’m not coming to bed until I finish my work.” You reclaim your seat at your desk, folding your arms over the back of it, trying to give the appearance of someone with a solid backbone, since yours is apparently made of pudding.
“That’s okay,” San says, already tugging his shirt off, then his pants, until he’s only in his boxer briefs. He peels back your comforter, sliding into the soft sheets, and again the action is so natural, so normal, like he does this every night, that something in your chest constricts. “I’ll just wait for you.”
Your first thought is that you should inform him that he’s going to be waiting a while, but then again, maybe he won’t.
You’re feeling suddenly inspired.
(It’s three in the morning, and you’re falling in love.)
If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. 💕
Taglist: @sweetnspicy-noona @krystal-a @jennylychee @hiefisch
© 2023-24 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my work.
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I am haunted by visions of Vox with a capable assistant who doms him after hours. The role reversal of guy thinking he can fuck his secretary but she turns the tables and fucks him has me sweating
I got inspired by a turn of phrase that would might have been popular a little bit before Vox’s time “his girl, Friday”
Basically a “girl Friday” was a term used for a woman in the office who acted as a jack of all trades and was good at doing a bunch of different jobs. This person was usually very capable and the office’s go-to-girl for anything and everything
So I keep imagining Vox with this hyper-competent assistant. He hires her and after becoming familiar with the company, she manages to handle things before he even asks her to do them. He decides to try and rattle her a bit with impossible tasks to knock her down a peg, but she takes that as a challenge and somehow completes them with a smarmy “will that be all,sir”
Game on. He keeps challenging her and asking for crazier shit just to prove that she can be shaken. She doesn’t even flinch, it’s a little intimidating and bruises his ego
Eventually he’s working late (which means she’s working late because somehow their work ethics are equally insane) and he starts being all snide and pissy and she just puts him in his place, insulting his behavior and his temper and physically backs him into his desk before telling him that he needs to be taught proper manners
And from then on, by day she’s Vox’s right hand who never leaves his side. But by night she bends her boss over his desk or presses him into his office chair, making him whimper and moan as she teaches him a lesson and berates him
So yeah, boss tries to dominate assistant but she effortlessly reverses their roles and makes him cry “Yes, ma’am!”
People think he’s tapping his assistant but whenever comments are made they share a look and Vox just thinks “they can’t ever know that I call you Mommy”
So the other day, I posted about wanting to do a human Vox au but lacking ideas, and one of the comments was involving an assistant x boss type deal. I don’t know if this ask is unrelated or directly caused by that post, but it gives me lots of ideas for a more specific au involving human Vox.
Anyways, since it wasn’t specified, i’ll keep the alive or dead details pretty vague. When I tell you this idea has been rotting in my brain all day, I fucking mean it.
Like this is genuinely about to get me out of writers block oh my fucking god. “His girl, friday” is a term i’ve never heard before but it’s so fitting with this. I love the go-getter incredibly efficient reader so much.
And god, it would bother Vox to an ungodly point. Because being in close quarters a lot, you being his assistant, of course he picks up on your efficiency. It makes him a little insecure because you honestly get things done quicker than he could.
So after throwing everything he can at you to knock you overboard your parade of orderliness, and you doing it all absolutely flawlessly, he can’t help but throw one of his tantrums.
Coming to him at the the end of the day, explaining you did everything he’d asked, and went beyond, closed multiple business deals for him, and got the inside information on upcoming possible marketing events. He should be happy, this objectively helps his business. But instead, he sits at his desk, watching you from across the room, before absolutely exploding.
I mean, you do his jobs better than he does. And he goes on a huge rant about how he doesn’t believe this, and how you must have absolutely no life, and basically degrading and insulting you for doing your job correctly.
And then yes, you yell at him, practically daring him to fire you. He won’t, you’re too much of an asset. You’re basically untouchable. So with that, you yell back, but unlike Vox who erupted with rage, you keep yourself as level headed as possible while talking sternly. Make even talking to him condescending as of talking to a child, explaining how it’s absolutely unbelievable he’s throwing a fit over good work ethic, and how he’d have to be out of his mind to pout about something so beneficial for Voxtech.
Going on and on about how his competitive, aggressive, targeting work behavior is unacceptable and pathetic… and now you have him back up against his desk, his sneer turning into a look of astonishment.
And then his eyes dart down, heat rising to his cheeks, and you notice the bulge in his pants. At first, you go silent, but then tease him with “You want me to take care of that too? Or will you yell at me for being too good at my job.”
Well, then he’s mad again. Probably definitely a struggle for power the first time you fuck. Yes, he tries to dom you, and fails because jesus, he really was pathetic. But you have him lied back in his chair, pinning his wrists down to either side of him, while you ride his dick into overstimulation. But he’s trying to keep quiet so no one else is the office hears his whimpers and whines.
But when he gets too loud, simply remind him that you’ll have to stop and he responds with a watery, whimper of “Y-yes ma’am.”
Now, fridays are dedicated to his girl, friday. Coincidentally, you’re both working late on those days, and even more coincidentally, you have business in his office.
That business being bending Vox over his desk until he has to cover his pathetic sobs with his hand so a janitor doesn’t hear him crying for his mommy.
Anyways, I’m almost done. I think this specifically appeals to me in a human Vox au sense because i’m hell, a work place of hell wouldn’t be particularly normalized, but it’s hell so it’s absolutely not frowned upon. He’d probably get teased about it at best, and literally a high five for tapping that. But in a human au, the stakes are much higher because there’s an actual sense of ethics and morals in business.
Also in the fifties, do you even know how taboo it would be for a boss to not only be sleeping with his assistant, but getting dominated by her every night???? I dunno.
Oh and the toxic masculinity of it all because it’s the 1950s and without being exposed to the normalization of kinks in hell, it would be so hard to break this brat down. Obviously not impossible, it’s Vox. But so much more irritating.
However, i’m hesitant to actually do a human au literally because of the silly picture I always put at the beginning. Because like I have such a specific image of what he looks like in my head (the @//notherpuppet human design) but… I don’t want to have to DM an artist and be like “Hey! love the art, can I use it for my dom reader power dynamic assistant x boss Vox x reader human au fic 😁😁😁🙏🙏” LIKE GANG I CANNOT.
Anyways, this wasn’t proofread, rant over, bimbo out.
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Why are you in my head? Pt. 2
Sneak Peek: Eddie and you are soulmates. The legend of soulmates is that you start to hear one another’s thoughts around age 16 – not all the time, but when you’re feeling a strong emotion. It simply flows out of you and into the other, the legend also states that the closer you are, the more you can hear them. **The events of season 4 did NOT happen** I did also use some of the dialogue
Bold are Eddie’s thoughts; Italics are reader’s thoughts. (mind you, they are essentially hearing both sets of thoughts)
Eddie Munson x Fem Sunshine! Reader (Soulmate AU)
Fluff/Angst - Part 1
Word count: 2255
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, explicit language, no use of y/n, fem reader, mentions of drugs/sale of drugs/drug use, arguing, mentions of Eddie’s drug addict parents, teeny tiny glimpse into reader’s past, let me know if I missed any!
That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
So, I have 3 more parts mapped out for this story, making it 5 total parts. Please, Please, PLEASE let me know if you want it!!? I would love to write it.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
You both let out a quiet chuckle.
All at once, colors were brighter, smells were sweeter, touches were softer. Everything came together in that moment; you couldn’t believe it. Here he was.
Before either of you could introduce yourself, the bell rang out, signaling that lunch was over. How long had you been standing here? Looking at him, seeing him for the first time, it made time stand still.
Don’t go. Not yet.
Neither of you made a move to leave. The cafeteria was slowly emptying around you, the reality of this moment creeping in. The second bell ringing brought you out of your thoughts, you looked into his eyes again and pulled back slightly.
“Shit! I can’t be late on my first day!” You hissed.
“Oh god O’Donnell is gonna kill me!” He facepalmed.
“You have O’Donnell this hour too? Also, you seem to be late to her class a lot.” You giggled.
“You’re in O’Donnell’s right now?” He questioned.
You nodded in confirmation. A grin took over his face, he grabbed your hand and began speed walking to her classroom. As you came up to the door, he looked over at you and nodded.
“Follow my lead.” He whispered.
You walked into the classroom, and everyone fell silent. Mrs. O’Donnell looked over at the two of you, and judging by her expression, she was less than impressed by your tardiness.
“Eddie Munson. I told you that if you were late to my class one more time I would be forced to fail you.” O’Donnell croaked.
“Mrs. O’Donnell, I understand that, but I couldn’t possibly let our new student wander the halls aimlessly.” He explained.
She looked at you, awaiting some sort of confirmation. When she was met with an enthusiastic nod from you, she finally relented. She looked down at her attendance chart and took note of the new student listed on it.
“Welcome to Hawkins High. Now both of you have a seat. Don’t make tardiness a habit.” She bit.
Eddie gestured for you to go first toward the back of the room. Once seated, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You couldn’t help the blush that crept its way onto your cheeks. His stare was keeping you from concentrating on Mrs. O’Donnell’s lecture about the debates you’d all be writing and then acting out in a week. You had no clue what the topics were, and you only hoped that she had put all the information on the handout that had been passed back to you.
God you’re so cute. I am so glad it’s you.
A giant shit eating grin enveloped Eddie’s face and you realized he must’ve heard that thought. You realized that you knew his name now, thanks to Mrs. O’Donnell, but he still didn’t know yours. You decided to pull out a pen and your notebook so you could write it down for him.
You caught his attention as you scribbled your name onto the paper, making sure to add a tiny heart next to it. You folded the paper up and passed it to him. If you thought his smile had been big before, well you were wrong, because you were sure this one would split his face in two.
A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.
Your face immediately heated and turned bright red. You just had to make it through a few more minutes, then this class would end, and you get to really talk to Eddie before your next one. Only a few more hours and you might actually get to spend some time with him.
You had called your parents after O’Donnell’s class to let them know you’d be getting a ride home with a friend. You didn’t want to tell them that you had met your soulmate just yet, you figured you should get to know him a little bit first.
When that final bell rang you all but ran out the front doors of the school. Eddie had told you to meet him at his van. As you glanced around the parking lot you could see the cliques, jocks hanging out by fancy sports cars, theater kids sitting on the picnic tables in the courtyard, and the Hellfire boys, well, they were loitering around Eddie’s big beat-up van.
His face lit up when he noticed you, that’s when you ran towards him. As you neared closer, he opened his arms and you leapt into them. He spun you around once before letting your feet land back on solid ground.
I want to kiss you so bad.
Please kiss me.
With that, Eddie leaned down and captured your lips in a sweet kiss. Eddie’s friends whooped behind you, which caused you to blush. You could see the confusion on some of their faces.
“Guys! This is her; this is my soulmate!” Eddie announced.
“Holy shit dude!”
“No way.”
“How much did you pay this girl to fake it for you?”
“Dude she’s way out of your league.”
“That’s awesome man!”
Eddie’s friends all spoke at once, it was hard to understand what any of them were really saying. But the gist of it was that most of them thought you were joking. You figured that his friends probably messed with him like this a lot, perhaps this was how their friendship was, lots of joking and messing around. Your heart hurt a little that his friends would assume you guys were lying, but you figured he’d tell you if it had upset him.
“Guys I’m serious! This is her, we met at lunch!” Eddie exclaimed.
“Hi.” You gave a small wave.
Eddie’s friends were bombarding the two of you with questions, faster than you could take in. It was pretty overwhelming, the way they were all talking over one another. Eddie was spitting out answers as fast as they were throwing questions, and your mind could not keep up.
This is…ok. Woah. Slow down. What is happening?
“Hey guys, I would love to sit and chat with you, but I think I am going to take my soulmate here out for a drive.” Eddie said, as his hand moved to your lower back, and he led you to the van.
“Thank you.” You whispered.
“You don’t have to thank me; I could hear how anxious you were. They can be a lot, especially when you’re not used to being around them all the time.” He laughed sheepishly.
“I appreciate it either way. The whole shared thoughts thing really comes in handy!” You huffed a laugh.
Eddie put his hand out to hold your as he drove you to wherever you were going…you should probably ask him where he is taking you.
That night, you and Eddie were out well passed curfew. You had talked about nothing and everything. You shared all your favorite things, your hopes and dreams, your deepest secrets. Sharing with Eddie was easy. Talking with him was like breathing, it came naturally – you guessed that was the whole “soulmate” thing at play.
It had been one week since that night and honestly, things had been really good. Eddie picked you up for school (he had yet to meet your parents yet), you sat with Eddie and the Hellfire guys at lunch, he walked you to your classes and waited for you at his van after school.
Things were perfect…or so you thought.
Soulmates had this sort of stereotype behind them. People always said soulmates didn’t fight, that the shared thoughts sort of helped to clear things up before they escalated to a full-blown argument. Things were meant to be easy, simple even. It was the fault of this stereotype that the argument threw you off guard.
The thought had slid into your mind during your last class of the day. You were sitting in history, listening to Mr. Warner drone on and on about a war, you were too distracted to remember which one it had been.
Two pre-rolls and a small baggie of shrooms…shit I gotta meet her in 5 minutes!
What the fuck is that about? You couldn’t help the upset feeling creeping into your veins. Pre-rolls had to be weed, and shrooms? Was Eddie buying drugs? And who is the girl he is meeting to get them from? Your mind was racing with all kinds of questions, you felt guilty about being mad at Eddie, but why would he keep this from you? You two had shared so much with one another in the last week.
When the final bell rang, you took your time getting your things from your locker and then slowly made your way to Eddie’s van.
As you approached it, you noticed a severe lack of brown curls. Your stomach sank, realizing that he still must be with her…whoever she was, buying drugs.
Why would he keep this from me?
The thought had hit Eddie like a freight train. He immediately kicked himself, he knew he should have told you about this side hustle of his, but he was scared you would judge him…but now you’d found out because his thoughts are so fucking loud and he’s a total jackass for keeping it from you.
He made quick work of the deal, it had been with some random theater girl and her boyfriend wanting to enjoy their weekend.
Eddie practically ran to his van to meet up with you and he noticed the far off look you were wearing.
“Hey baby!” Eddie reached to pull you into a hug.
“Hi Eddie.” You returned his hug with a noticeable lack of enthusiasm.
“Let’s go for a drive yeah? I want to talk to you about something.” Eddie suggested.
“Oh, yeah, okay.” You nodded.
The two of you got into Eddie’s van and he drove you to the clearing by the lake. There was a heavy awkward silence for a bit, your thoughts just circling round and around in your head. And judging by the look on Eddie’s face, he was clearly experiencing the same thing.
“I need to talk to you about something.” Eddie started.
“Okay…” You waited.
“I realize that a thought of mine may have made its way to you. A thought that had to do with something I have neglected to share with you yet. Listen sweetheart, I uh, I deal. It’s just to make some extra cash, ya know, to help Uncle Wayne out and to save until I have enough to get the hell out of this place.” Eddie rambled on.
“Wait a second. You’re the one dealing the drugs?” You asked.
“Yeah…did you think I was buying?”
“Eddie, you sell drugs? That’s illegal! I don’t understand, you could get a different job if you want to save money. Why would you do something so reckless?” You questioned.
“Woah. What the hell. I know it’s illegal, but I’m smart about it and didn’t you hear me? I am doing this for Wayne…and for us! Dealing makes me way more money than flipping burgers at big boy or renting out movies to asshole pre-teens. You’re my soulmate, I thought you’d at least try to understand!” Eddie snapped.
“Eddie, you purposely kept this from me. Which just proves to me that you know that this is wrong. I know that other jobs may not make you as much money, but at least they’re legal and don’t run the risk of you being sent to PRISON. Because that is where you would end up if you got caught Eddie. Prison! Did you ever stop to think about what that would mean to the people who care about you. To your uncle Wayne, to Dustin, to me? How could you be so careless?” You waved your arms as you spoke, growing more and more frustrated.
“Jesus. Of course you don’t get it!” Eddie sighed.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You couldn’t believe him right now.
“You were born with a fucking silver spoon in your mouth babe. You have never wanted for anything. Your parents are well off and you have always gone to good schools with new supplies and a nice backpack. I mean fuck, your parents moved you here, set up this incredible room for you, bought you a car, and still ask you what you need or want. I live in a trailer and before that, I was growing up in an even smaller trailer that my parents were doing and selling crack out of. I am doing what I have to, to make sure I am set up when it comes time for me to leave Hawkins.” Eddie was practically yelling by the end of his rant.
You sat there, your mouth opening, then closing again. You weren’t sure what to say. Eddie had clearly gone through some really difficult shit that you hadn’t been aware of, but he was also assuming that your life had been perfect, which couldn’t have been further from the truth.
This conversation had truly made you feel sick to your stomach. How was this meant to work. How was Eddie meant to be your soulmate if he thought so little of you. And how were you meant to be his soulmate if you couldn’t agree with what was clearly a part of his life. You clearly had a lot to think about and you couldn’t do that right now, not with the tension that was beginning to suffocate you in Eddie’s van. So you did what you thought best.
“Take me home please.” You whispered.
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Thinking about the toman guys (and anyone else) with a reader who is naturally pretty/beautiful. Looks like a literal angel but they’re mischievous af. Like they never get caught because they look so innocent. Like how could their little angel ever beat up some girl who tried flirting with them? Like literally brat. Petty af and instigators. Lmao
A/N as a demon in disguise myself 🫣 non-chan I am VERY happy you sent this!
Sweet Angel
Mikey's eyes widened a bit at meeting Angel girl, but then he smiles and approached her with relative ease, telling her outright how beautiful she is - some girls are intimidated by the invincible Mikey but strangely enough, Angel is not, giving him an angelic smile. It's a little blinding. Everything from her movements, to the way she interacted was just ethereal to him and he could literally just sit and watch her operate for hours. He's pretty quick to ask her out honestly. Thinks the dynamic is a little wild until he hears about Y/N one day from some girls passing by on the street, one a lot worse off than the other, both teary eyed and clearly frustrated. He stops and questions them and they hesitate, looking over their shoulders before their faces scrunch up. They don't explain much only that they "Really shouldn't be talking to him" and ran off, prompting more questions. On his way to fetch Angel he thinks he's got it pieced together.
"Y/N. Those girls from the other day, did you-,"Mikey almost misses the smirk but it's gone as he does a double take. She finally turns to him but there's something alot less sweet in her cherry smile.
"Hmm? Not sure what you might be referring to, Mikey-kun!"
And things get alot more interesting for him, truly all about it his wicked Angel.
•
Draken was a pretty straightforward kind of guy, someone who would tell you if something was right or wrong, someone who would chastise you for taking things further than they probably should have gone - it was for this reason that Angel decided to keep him out of the loop on this particular occasion. He was almost taken aback by how pretty this Angel was but had a sneaking suspicion there was more to her than what she presented. He was right of course and this suspicions were confirmed when instead of "getting upset" about the girls flirting with the taller boy as if she wasn't there, she kept a smile on, going as far as grabbing the girls hands and pulling them along with her. The girls never came back but Y/N looked much more relieved somehow.
"Friends of yours?"
"Not at all." She smiles but her tone was as direct as ever, "Ou, there's an ice cream stand over there! Can we get some please??"
She pouted and he relented, silently sweating when he caught the sight of her bloodied knuckles, dainty hands placed almost stealthily into her sweat pockets.
He worries a lot more that he lets on about the Demon-like Angel, but she knows that already.
•
Mitsuya is loaded with patience and understanding, kindness and warmth really not that common within his circle of friends and acquaintances. He takes notice of her beauty instantly, but is coy about it, not wanting to scare the (seemingly) innocent girl off - he was technically a delinquent after all. He enjoys getting to know her; her kindness, her sweet nature, her ability to nurture those around her - but even after they started dating, there was this gut feeling, something he can't quite put his finger on about her, something important he feels is a missing piece of the puzzle that is Y/N. He's working on some sketches for a new design he's been playing with the idea of when a couple very eager girls approach him. It wasn't uncommon for some of his classmates or even some of the younger girls to try and worm their way into his life on a very... personal level, but he was always quick to shut it down, politely of course. These two underclassmen hadn't quite got that message though- Y/N wrapped her arms around his middle, eye contact never once breaking with the girls, stern as she said "He's spoken for." They're so intimidated they drop a few papers on their way to the door, of which Angel is happy to return, arms around the girls followed by a hushed tone.
"The next time you lot decide to try and take something that doesn't belong to you, I won't be so nice. Understood?" Had he heard that correctly?
Y/N is starry eyed and playful as she heads back over and he raises a brow.
"Should I be worried...?" She shakes her head, placing butterfly kisses on his fingertips.
"Just girl talk~"
Part of him is really flattered someone so pretty would be so possessive over him, the other part is a little worried about the other girls.
Angel is full of surprises.
•
Hakkai was a hard sell, awkward and uncomfortably shy, especially around the effervescent Angel - who was he to even speak to someone so gorgeous? To look at her? But after many attempts on Angels part at breaking the ice, and many more swift kicks from his beloved older sister, there was a breakthrough and a relationship was born not long after the friendship was finally established. He was so very sweet, so gentle - when he actually got the nerve to touch her, that is. He was always so hesitant about it, never wanting to cause her any sort of harm. There were times other girls approached him, random ones - and though it was rude, he didn't really interact with them at all, their poking and prodding in vain. Y/N had of course taken it upon herself to handle the situation, unknowingly. He'd heard various rumors about his Angel; A true Demon in disguise but it was nothing he could vouch for, not having seen it personally. He chalked it up to bullshit and hearsay, nothing more - a pack of petty jealous strangers. And why would she ever trouble her sweet boyfriend with the goings on of a few wayward girls? He had enough to worry about.
Ignorance is bliss as they say, and his Angel made him incredibly happy - that's all that mattered.
•
Baji had only really had 2 crushes in the entirety of his life; one in primary school and one in middle school - neither of which he confessed to. Those crushes were nothing compared to the intense feeling in his chest at just the sight of Y/N, an Angel among men. It was downright embarrassing and he kicked himself out of his daze, forced his breathing to settle, and ignored the fluttering in his stomach when she approached him all smiles.
"Keisuke Baji, right? I've heard a lot about you - you're cuter than they say. Wanna go out sometime?"
And just like that, they were an item, a power couple if you will. Truthfully, any response even hinting at him focusing on school died on his tongue, just so taken by her beauty and her boldness. He was doomed from the start. His arm is around her waist so much there are people who actually think it might be glued there - nope he's just very into showing her off. That said, there exist girls/women who would try to take those who are already taken, not very smart on their part... one of his subordinates rounds the corner, sprinting to Baji and saying something along the lines of "Someone is fighting Y/N" his mind goes almost blank as he pushes past him only to come to his girl's side and realize there's nothing to see. Her hands are behind her back, all smiles, as the girls in question scurry off, prominent bruises. He's got questions but he doesn't know if she's gonna give any answers.
Still, he'd be lying if he said it didn't make Angel that much hotter.
•
Chifuyu for all intents and purposes is very much a dork - and most are aware of that even when he tries his best to be this hard, cool delinquent. He thinks he's gotta be that guy to have even half a chance with the ladies so when an Angel approaches him in a manga shop, he's thrown completely off guard. She's probably the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and he's sweating instantly. Luckily for him, she seems to have a dorky side herself, smiling as she rants about the latest issue of [manga name]. The fact that she's into similar things makes it much easier for him to warm up and before he knows it, he's confessing unexpectedly. He doesn't even have time to stress about the outburst because there's an immediate 'yes' to his ask and he actually goes 'really?'. Thinks he's the luckiest dude to ever live with Y/N on his arm and still can't quite fathom why him, but he tries his absolute best to make her happy, and he really does. He's so entranced by her, grinning like a fool while taking in her beauty, doesn't even notice the lingering touch of another girl, desperate for his attention while she thanks him for his purchase. If looks could kill, Angel might be behind bars, but Chifuyu is somehow none the wiser, even after the rumors start springing up. He might get around to asking about them...one day.
But for now, he really couldn't care less if Angel had beat that girl up or not, somehow writing it off completely.
•
Nahoya was confident, even when he wasn't - and most people steered clear of the excitable twin, knowing better than to get involved with someone so clearly dangerous. Y/N was not those people. She approached out of the blue one day, completely in awe of the motorcycles parked outside of her parent's bakery/home. He gave her his signature grin, cool despite the heat in his cheeks at her proximity. She was definitely flirting with the older twin - and to no one's surprise, he flirted back. He was almost intimidated by her beauty, her Angel face, but he was never one to back down from a challenge. To his surprise, getting the girl was far less challenging than he thought initially - she was just as into him as he was into her. A total bragger, he purposely shows her off constantly, a lazy arm draped around her middle, fingertips dangerously low on her hips - always testing the boundaries. His Angel does mind it one bit. What she does mind is the fact that every now and then, he entertains the flirting of another, not accepting any advances but not really shooing them away either. It's rather annoying, honestly... He's a little surprised to hear of the hearsay that starts to circulate, the news that Y/N would beat the breaks off anyone who thought they might stand a chance with her Smiley. Curious, he tests this and gets his answers - very amusing answers that he asks her about playfully.
"Huh? Me? Well I would certainly never hit anyone who didn't absolutely deserve it, but beating people up for no reason is just mean!" She's got this cutesy look on her face but he recognizes that mischievous glint all too well, but he only laughs with a nonchalant 'Sure,sure.'
He loves that his Angel fights for him, even if it's in secret - because God knows he does the same for her.
•
Souya looks as though he truly belongs in a gang, angry facial expressions giving 'fuck off' without actually having to say anything at all. Any conversation with him though, even one in passing, let's people know otherwise - he was very polite and very kind, though also very reserved. He wasn't exactly shy but the case of Angel was very different for him. He found himself wholly intimidated by her beauty alone, so to find she was also very sweet and loving? It made him something of a wreck internally. He was thrown off balance completely by how nice and friendly she was with him, even at the start. She would always ask for his opinion on things, gift him small things like cellphone straps and keychains, and even go out of her way to greet him and rope him into conversations. He hadn't experienced anything like it before so of course he developed feelings. But alas, pretty girls didn't go for boys like him - or so he had convinced himself. Takes him a full minute to process this Godsent being had just asked HIM out. Nearly shuts down. But sweet Y/N quite literally holds his hand through it - though that doesn't really help steady his heart rate...like at all. He fawns over his Angel like no other, really truly spoiling her with food and gifts galore. He's so very attentive and cuddly (once he gets passed the initial embarrassment) it's honestly the cutest thing. Y/N honestly hadn't expected anyone to flirt with Angry, his expression more than enough to ward people off...but they did. Poor boy doesn't even realize it's happening. He thanks the random girl for the napkins and innocently asks why there's a number on them - Angel isn’t having it. Souya asks about the rumors only after seeing the cuts and bruises on her knuckles, tentatively placing bandaids on her delicate fingers.
"I only wanted to make sure she knew you were already seeing someone, that's all..." She pouts teary eyed and he's putty in her scrapped hands, assuring her that it was fine and just to be more careful, very flattered by the entire ordeal.
He's so sweet on this Angelic Creature that he absolutely won't do anything about it, but he will encourage a healthier way of expressing her discomfort.
•
Kazutora is a bit of a flirt when he wants to be, but can flip it off just as quickly as he turned it on if he’s no longer interested or just plain bored. It scratches the itch of wanting to be wanted while keeping people at a comfortable distance. Yea, all of that is thrown out the window when he meets a real life Angel in Y/N. He’s great a reading people and can tell when they’re being nice as some fake gesture or show - this beauty is free from all that, which is fairly rare itself. But she takes it a step further, going out of her way to be extra kind to him, through words and actions, somehow giving him a reason to believe in humanity again. It’s actually pretty jarring for him. So much so he takes a step back for a moment or two, only to realize he’s already kind of hooked on her affection and attention (Being starved for affection will do that). Can’t keep his eyes off her, the thoughts of her at bay, and after weeks of deliberation, he confesses and she knows then he’s sort of fighting himself on that. But as always, she’s peachy when she grabs his hand carefully, continuing to the train station. Their first date is somewhere completely unserious like an amusement park or fair. He’s well aware that the girl at the ticket booth is flirting but he just completely ignores it, almost snatching the tickets for extra convincing. She takes the hint but just the audacity - Angel waits for her after work with more than a few words while Kazutora makes his way to a nearby restroom. He’s out just in time to see Y/N waving off a clearly terrified young woman. He puts it together fairly quickly and finds it hysterical.
He’s truly thankful for his Angel, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t gonna tease her about it every now and then.
•
Taiju is a man who knows exactly what he wants and what he wanted was Y/N. A Godly man, he’s got a thing for good girls - obedient girls you could say. Is actively working on himself as a person/businessman when Angel falls out of the sky – or in this case, stumbles back into his strong arms. He’s pretty surprised but he blinks as Angel apologizes. He assures the beauty that he’s fine and then asks if she’s alright. He’s almost in awe at how unreal she seems, how delicate her features, how sweet her smile. He’s staring with those intimidating eyes and all she does is smile, saying something along the lines of “You sure you’re okay? I can make it up to you if you let me take you out.” He’s got some pretty old-school ways about him so he firmly believes that the MAN should ask the WOMAN out (whatever), but how could he not forgive such beautiful bravery? He was delighted to find this Angel, Y/N, was just as sweet inwardly as she was outwardly. She would give without asking, care without expectation, and it pushed him want to give everything to her, his soul included. Believe it or not, Taiju had received many confessions over the years and although before Y/N he couldn’t care less about any of them, he still turned them down as gently as possible. That said, Angel wasn’t having any of that. Y/N was actually rather impatient at times, waiting right good until Taiju had turned his back before kicking the random stranger in her shin, smile still intact. There was a small yelp but the oldest Shiba only spared a parting glance as his Angel latched her beautiful self onto his arm once more.
Whatever damage his Angel caused was of no consequence to him, for everything she did was for his sake.
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wibta if i refused to help my classmates going forward?
i am in university for a science degree. i have been struggling for almost my entire degree due to undiagnosed ADHD and autism, as well as my habit from grade school of working myself too hard. i went into burnout from 2020-2022 and failed most courses i took. i had to cut down on my work significantly so i could stay in university and finish my degree. it's been 5 years and i'm just over halfway finished. the end's not in sight yet, but it's getting there.
this semester, i'm taking two courses that i've struggled in previously and am retaking actually. the term will most likely be over once this is posted. one i've finished twice but didn't have a high enough grade to move forward (chemistry) and the other i've dropped 2 times before to avoid failing (calculus). the subject areas might give more context, and my chemistry course isn't introductory. they're also notoriously very difficult, and most people end up retaking this chemistry course several times. they're both needed for my degree and a similar degree. someone in both classes (2 different people) made group chats specifically so we could help each other. at first it was a very good idea, and i myself benefitted from them, managing to get a really high mark on a math assignment because of the group chat and sharing our work/processes.
this term is the one term we have a mid-semester break, and while the details are irrelevant here, i went away during this break, and i came back in a fairly poor mental state. i didn't want to share my work anymore, and said i was uncomfortable doing so. this got me mocked (i believe, but no one's commented on it or said anything to me about it) in my math class group chat when i asked for the notes after having to leave class early due to the noise. i have misophonia, and i was incredibly close to shouting "shut the fuck up" one say when they honestly just wouldn't stop talking. it's been a problem this term in this class where several groups in the class have been chatting amongst themselves during lecture. my friend (i think we're friends?) emailed our professor (i think i was named in the email), and he addressed the class about it, but as a whole, has told me directly that there wasn't much else he could do about it since they might be talking to each other to understand better.
at this point, there's only about 3 weeks left of classes and then finals, so it's not worth dropping out, especially since i don't think i'm in danger of failing. but that was all kind of just background info. it's been a rough semester for me.
in my chemistry class, we have weekly lab reports. they aren't huge, 10+ page reports, and i can usually do them in about 2-3 hours of work total. i usually work on them in small pieces throughout the week, so i can focus on other assignments as well as lectures. they're due at the beginning of lab, and we have lab on friday afternoons. this wouldn't be an issue if not for thursdays.
at the beginning of the semester, i made myself kinda known as Someone Who Has Answers. i like to help people when they're struggling, and i know that these are difficult classes, and i have past experience taking them with these instructors specifically, so i helped in any which way i could. after our mid-semester break, i was in no mood to help anyone. but on thursday evenings and friday mornings, i would get text messages from a few people asking me about the lab report. but not just a few messages. i would get asked on EVERY BIT of the lab report. i try to be patient, as i understand hidden struggles. but i was at the end of my rope. i never snapped, and i always tried to help them, but sometimes i was very frustrated because on thursdays, i have 2 classes (doesn't sound like a lot, but at my school, my lectures are 2-3 hours long, so it's about 5 hours total of lectures) at two different campuses, so i leave at about 7:30am and get home at about 5:30-6:00pm. it's my night to clean the kitchen as well, so my patience is very thin at the end of the day. i never agreed to help them, and they are texting me. i don't know how to tell them "i'm in no mood to help" but it made me so upset to the point that i was saying that next semester, i wouldn't give my number to anyone. i'm not a tutor, and i'm struggling to stay afloat myself in these classes. i don't have all of the answers, and tbh i'm not even confident on most of my answers. i've tried to make this clear, but they still come to me for help. next semester, i'm retaking ANOTHER course that i failed (not failed, but didn't get a high enough mark to move forward) and i honestly feel like a dick for not helping when i could and should help.
this is probably a nonissue tbh. i'm on the verge of dropping out myself because i took on too much this semester and this just kinda feels like it's all more than i can handle.
What are these acronyms?
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How do you deal with insecurity in a polyam relationship?
I've been in a poly V before, with my girlfriend at the time, and her other partner; but I honestly wasn't really invested in the relationship so I wasn't bothered.
I feel like,, if I have a partner and we either a) accept another and form a triad or b) I end up with a metamour again, I would end up worrying that my parner(s) would leave me to simply be together.
(For context, I have AvPD so like... abandonment is a complex of mine and I'm working on it but I'm still so insecure a lot of the time.)
So.. yeah. I've seen you address jealousy/envy, and I know I'd probably deal with a bit of that (in the sense that 'oh, b gets to spend time with c while I'm at work, I'm envious' kind of way) but I know that insecurity would be the thing that would bother me the most
Polysecure by Jessica Fern is generally considered a holy text 🛐of polyamory and this exact question in particular. I haven't read it personally (yet. Its on my list my list is just long 😅) So if you haven't given that a go yet, everyone I know who has read it, has recommended at least sections of it. I know it talks about attachment styles and how to handle those, which might be helpful if you have avoidant personality disorder.
The other thing, of course, is consider bringing this up with a therapist, because I am not one. And this seems like a touchy enough topic that everything I say here is pulled from my experience and should be taken as "ideas to think about🤔" and not "clinical advise that will Fix It🪄" As per usual, LOTS to go over here. So. read more.
P.S. after typing up everything, I realized this post I wrote to help a supportive partner address insecurity might also be helpful for you, and even has a worksheet! Its probably better formatted too. So.. maybe I wasted my typing here 😓. C'est la vie.
Firstly, you never said you identify as polyamorous. So if you're not... you could just date monogamously 🤷 as much as I love 💟polyamory and would like it if the whole world loved it too, if that's gonna be too big a thing for you, there's no reason you have to bother at all.
If you are going to date polyamorously for whatever reason, BEFORE you introduce another person to the mix, have a regular, set time you and your partner spend apart. It sounds counter-intuitive, but maintaining your own social life and identity outside your partner is huge. Do this especially when you're super invested and want to spend every second with your partner. That's honestly true whether you're poly or not, but in this specific case. I think a lot of the fear is bolstered by the idea that without you there, your partner is just spending that time loving the other person. And maybe they'd like to do that more blah blah blah. But this proves that's not the case: when you're not there, you partner is getting drinks with the girls, or building model ships, or any other numerous things they like independent of you. And it also means you're not just pining over your partner when you're gone, you have other shit to do too. And you'll come to look forward to your two hours a week at the coffee shop (or whatever). You will learn reasonable time apart does not equal less romantic interest.
And then, on the flip side of that, set regular protected time with your partner. Not to say never ever will something come up that interrupts that. Emergencies arise🚨, or the time may have to be renegotiated later, etc etc. But having the confidence that no matter what, you'll have a movie date every week, or that Tuesday night is Romance Night, or whatever you decide on, can make it easier. It can help prevent you feeling taken for granted, and can naturally curb NRE with other people if that starts getting unruly. If your partner starts wanting to cut into this time for not-important-shit, tell them you're not okay with that, or -- and only if truly it feels okay to you -- at least get them to make the time up the next day. And you, of course, need to treat it as special too. Make the time important, fulfilling, and intimate. It can be any activity, as long as its bonding time -- quality time, in the truest sense of the word.
Take time to get to know yourself, and share it with your partner. What do you consider to be sacred between you and your partner? Are you okay with your meta and your partner having sacred things -- what type of things? Do you feel better knowing the details of your partner's other relationships, or will that make you more jealous? (I like knowing more, because the thought of my partner having this secret life without me makes me more insecure, but other people are very reasonably of the opinion that hearing that their partner had so much fun without them is a bummer.) How much about you are you okay with your partner dilvulging to your meta(s)? Go through this on as many things as you can think of. Now, what you're comfortable with is not the only factor here; you and your partner will probably both have to make some concessions to reach something workable, but I've found that process, with a good partner, to be more securing in and of itself. You both are working together towards a common understanding. Its generally good practice to avoid hard-and-fast rules here, when possible. For example, "I'm only okay with you dating others if you're home by 11🕚 every night" makes some sense, but if taken literally means if your partner gets a flat on the way home, or has to deal with your meta's mental breakdown, or even just wants to see a movie that won't finish until 11:05 -- that's a betrayal. Perhaps even just asking for a one-time allowance is a betrayal. Instead, work for understandings or guidelines. Maybe the similar understanding in this example is "its hard for me to sleep alone, so I'd like you to generally be home by 11:00, and notify me as soon as possible if that's not going to happen" and then when they bring up wanting to stay out late one night for something, you can ask if its possible for them to do it on a night you don't have to work in the morning (maybe they can, maybe they can't, the point here is that its a dialogue, see below). There will be some trial and error here, so be prepared for that and stick it out.
Don't take every problem as a sign things are doomed, or your partner is divesting, or your partner isn't worth your investment. There will be times when someone is actually abusive, or there will be irreconcilable differences. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about "My partner is late for the second time this week, they're pulling away from me, this is the beginning of the end"-type shit. No it ain't. A good exercise for this is to explicitly outline your worst-case scenario💣, followed by a best case-scenario🌈, and then a few most likely cases⬜. So from our example above, worst case is that they're pulling away (so you have to pull away faster so you "win" and avoid pain), best case-scenario is that they're late because they're buying you a gift on their way home, and most likely scenario is that traffic's worse than they planned or they ran into someone at the gas station and stopped to talk for a bit or whatever.
Figure out how to self-soothe. Make a stache of nice things your partner has done for you that you can check on your own to remind yourself you're important to them. Reframe some of your jealous worries. Remind yourself of things you're looking forward to with your partner. Make a vent journal. Whatever clicks to you.
And as always, 🗣️talk to your partner. Productively talk to your partner.🗣️ Talk to your partner as much as possible about how things make you feel, and make sure they're doing the same. I talk more about how to talk through problems here, and its worth the read imho (even though its equally long). But for now, know that forming this habit on its own is functionally indistinguishable from being securely attached. As long as the communication is you and your partner vs the problem (and not, for example, your insecurity vs your partner's willingness to compromise), this will be good for the relationship, and you will feel better for doing it. But to form that habit, you have to do it with everything, not just Big Problems. You have to tell your partner sincerely how much you appreciate stuff they're getting right, you have to tell them about small problems that you can handle on your own, you have to tell them about things you're not sure how you feel about yet.
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I’d love a story with sick Angie (it doesn’t matter what it is) with the emphasis on Jonah as her caretaker. And I’d love it if you could write about what Jon said in that vertigo fic, were Luke was the only caretaker, about feeling like he doesn’t know Angie.
Hi there! I had a lot of fun typing this up, it's a bit more tender than my usual stuff, since Jonah's is slightly off his element!
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There were things Jonah knew how to do: read Leo like a book, feel Wendy’s annoyance from across a room, suture a wound with an eye closed. And then there were things that he didn’t…
Currently the issue was understanding what was going through his little sister’s mind.
It hurt to say out loud, but Angie was half family, half stranger. She had been only ten when Jonah left for college, however during five of those ten years they supposedly shared, he had been away in boarding school, coming home only three times a year. In sum, he had truly known Angie only for five of her seventeen years.
It had been a pleasant surprise to learn she didn’t think of him as some stranger, but as her brother, and that she wanted them to be close. Or, as Leo had put, “Jon, she worships you.”
Since Christmas last year, they had been chatting much more frequently and she had come over to Welton at the end of January, staying over at Jonah and Leo’s place for three days.
This time around she was supposed to stay all week, which Jon was equally nervous and excited about.
“I’m the one who should be nervous,” Leo had joked as they drove to pick Angie up at the airport, “not you.”
However Jonah was nervous, because despite never wanting to say this out loud — and not needing to, Leo knew it already — he was terribly invested into making this new relationship work out.
Normally Angelina was a bubbly, chatty teenager, never quite managing to contain her excitement. During her last visit, she had pestered JD so much that the cat had all but vanished during her last day over, hiding in Leo’s side of the closet.
Tonight she was sullen and Jonah was nearly crawling up the wall trying to figure out what had changed.
After picking her up at the airport, they had opted for having dinner in Portland instead of doing the full one hour and a half drive back to Welton without eating. Dinner had gone smoothly, Angie was a little quieter than usual, but Jonah had jolted this as her giving Leo time to gush about the proposal, something she seemed very interested in. Her whole face had lit up as she saw the engagement ring and she had pushed her chair closer in order to inspect it, pulling Leo into a hug that had the blonde’s face turning beet red, much to Jon’s amusement.
The drive back had been even more quiet.
“Why don’t you connect your phone with the radio, Angie?” Leo asked, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He was mortified of getting carsick in front of his future sister-in-law, so he had insisted on driving both ways, “pick some music for the ride.”
“No, it’s fine…” Angelina answered, curling up on the backseat, “I think I’m just gonna nap, if you don’t mind…”
“No, that’s alright,” Jonah turned on the passenger seat, “there must be a neck pillow stuffed behind my seat, is it there?”
“Yeah,” she retrieved it and kicked off her sneakers, spreading out in the back, “thanks, Jon.”
He turned back to face the road. Something was off and he wasn’t sure what.
“Relax,” Leo poked his side, a couple minutes later, whispering, “chill.”
“I am chill,” Jonah lied, not putting any effort behind it and once again looking over his shoulder, to where his sister had curled up in the backseat.
They got home without a hitch, Leo had put on one of his ultra romantic songs and was drumming along with Michael Bolton’s Missing You Now, much to Jonah’s eternal amusement. His fiance couldn’t keep up with the beat if they paid him.
“Baby I just can't wait! Till I see your face,” Leo leaned in to sing to him, as they parked, a cheeky smile on his face, “chase awaaay this loneliness insideee!”
Jonah snorted, shutting him up with a kiss, “oh God, shut up, Leo,” his cheeks heated up as the song ended and the initial lyrics of the When A Man Loves a Woman started playing, Leo getting ready to serenade him, pointing at Jon’s chest as he said, “When a man loves a woman. Can't keep his mind on nothin'else-”
“Leeeeo,” Jonah groaned, pushing his door open, but not getting out. Instead he turned on his seat to shake Angelina awake. He half expected her to be awake and giggling at the whisper concert Leo was making, but no, she was still sleeping soundly, “Angie. Angie, we’re here.”
It took him shaking her once more, before she woke up, looking completely lost for a minute.
“Where-”
“Let’s go inside so you can sleep in a proper bed,” Jonah circled the car, helping her out and raised his eyebrows, letting out a surprised noise when Angie collapsed against him and made no movement to pull away. He hesitantly lowered his arms around her in a makeshift hug, unsure of what to do.
Leo grinned at him, getting out of the car as well and going to retrieve Angie’s bags.
She barely let go of him, putting only enough distance that they were able to walk to the elevator, but snuggled back once they were inside. Jonah felt like his face was tingling and he couldn’t bring himself to meet Leo’s eyes, extremely embarrassed.
This time around, Angelina paid no mind to JD. The cat came running to greet them at the door, only to stop once she saw the girl and sniffling her suspiciously, serpentining between Angie’s legs and settling for meowing at Leo’s feet as if asking who this was.
Jonah fully expected his sister to grab JD like she had done last time, but instead she only yawned and waited patiently as he guided her to the guest room.
“You know where’s everything, right?” Jonah hung awkwardly at the door, once Leo put the bag inside and Angie sat down on the bed. She yawned again, nodding.
“Yeah…”
“There’s extra towels in the bathroom if you feel like taking a shower,” Jonah grimaced at his inability to sound as warm as he was supposed to, “and you don’t have to ask to go through the fridge…”
“I’m fine, Jon, thank you,” Angelina dismissed him easily, “I think I’m just gonna sleep, though.”
“Okay…” he glanced at the television, “there’s Netflix and Prime and Max-”
“Jon,” Leo grabbed his elbow, chuckling, “let the girl sleep. Goodnight Ange.”
“Goodnight,” Angie smiled at them, clearly agreeing with Leo and Jonah sighed, relenting and allowing the blonde to pull him out of the guest bedroom.
“It’s only nine o’clock,” Jonah complained as they entered their own bedroom, Leo already ahead of him in the bathroom, stripping for a shower. They were both still in work clothes, “what type of teenager falls asleep at nine?”
“Your sister’s type,” Leo shrugged, getting under the shower stream, “relax Jon, she’s probably just tired after the flight.”
Jonah didn’t quite believe that.
They ended up going to bed around eleven, so Jon was surprised when he woke up at only 6 AM, an hour before his alarm. He wasn’t sure why he was up. It was a Thursday, which meant Leo had court and would start working later, but would also be held up until whatever hour. The blonde was passed out next to him, head buried in the pillow.
Jon’s shift only started at 9…
He yawned, rubbing a hand over his face and getting up to pee. He was getting back in bed, when a noise down the hall caught his attention. Something falling?
It wasn’t JD, because the cat was happily asleep on Leo’s side.
Jonah got out of the bed to investigate and wasn’t surprised when he found the guest bedroom door open, or the guest bathroom door closed. He knocked on it softly, “Angie, you alright? I heard something falling…”
“Urgh…” was the pitiful answer he got, “Jon…”
Well, shit.
“Can I come in?” he asked nervously, biting the skin of his thumb, “Angie?”
“Hmmm…yeah…”
Jonah didn’t wait for an answer and pushed the door open.
Angelina was really skinny with long limbs, like a model, and currently she was folded like an origami project in front of the toilet. Her rich, dark skin looked damn near ashen, and she had a trembling hand on the porcelain, the other pressing to her lips.
“Don’t… I don’t feel good…”
“Oh darling,” Jonah sighed, feeling a selfish wave of relief wash over him at finally being able to pinpoint what was wrong and that it wasn’t him. He crouched down, “have you been sick yet?”
Angie shook her head, gulping down, “soon…” she leaned in, squeezing her eyes shut, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- To-” she got interrupted by a hiccup and Jonah scoffed, scooting closer so he could rub her back.
“Don’t apologize, it’s all right,” he cringed as he realized her really long, curly hair was getting near her mouth. They didn’t have a single scrunchie in their place.
At Bella’s advice, or rather, order, they had stocked the guest bathroom with pads, just in case — that had been an interesting little grocery trip, given neither of them had any idea of what they were doing and Leo looked positively mortified —, but the ginger hadn’t said anything about hair ties.
“Jon-” Angie whined, oblivious to his thoughts and leaning further over the toilet. Another sick hiccup shook her entire frame, this one turning into a gag at the end and Jonah cringed as he saw clear saliva hit the water.
“You’re okay,” he carefully pulled his sister’s hair back with one hand, the other staying firmly on her back, “just get it up, don’t fight it-”
She retched once more, before getting up to her knees, and burying her head in the bowl as vomit gushed out. The movement was so sudden that Jonah had to move as well, so he wouldn’t pull on her hair.
He gagged as he heard the horrible noise of his sister bringing up last night’s dinner, his stomach souring considerably as she pulled back, clumsily trying to flush, with vomit clinging to her bottom lip still.
“God-” Jonah pulled back the hand that was on her back, slapping it over his lips and biting down a retch of his own. Angelina let out a little hurt noise, much like JD did when they accidentally tripped on her.
“I’m sorry-” his voice came out husky, “shit, Angie, I’m sorry-”
“You’re sick too?” she managed to flush and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, causing Jonah to gag once more. He shook his head, gulping convulsively to keep his stomach in check.
He was so used to Leo, that someone else puking around him was news to his body. The routine was different, the noises too. Worse.
“No, I just-” Jonah cleared his throat, “I get sympathy sick.”
“Oh,” Angie’s big chocolate eyes were dazed and he suspected she was burning up a fever, “I’m sor-”
“Are you done?”
“I dunno,” she rubbed her stomach, uneasily, “don’t wanna risk going to bed and- And getting sick…”
“We can sit on the couch and watch TV,” Jonah offered, getting up to grab her a glass of water and Angie took it with her hands shaking. Jon took advantage of the fact her hands were busy, in order to feel his sister’s forehead.
Surprisingly, she didn’t flinch or pull back at the sudden touch, leaning completely on it. She was really warm.
“Not a high fever, but a fever,” he pulled back after a second, as Angie gulped down the water and hung over the toilet once more, letting out a sickly burp, “you’ll be okay on your own for a second?”
“Uh-hu,” she nodded, gagging but not bringing up anything. Jonah rushed out before his stomach decided to join the party as well.
He put together a little nest in the living room, grabbing her a set of blankets and a pillow, a bowl, meds, water and thermometer. After a couple minutes he heard the bathroom flush and the tap running, Angelina brushing her teeth, then she stumbled in the living room.
“Come lie down,” he pulled her to the couch, unsure of what she liked when sick. To be left alone or dotted on? So far the dotting was proving successful, but Jon was scared at any minute she’d snap at him. Or worse, cry.
Instead of doing either, Angelina curled up on the little nest he had created for her, tugging on his arm so he’d sit alongside her and then scooting up, resting her pillow half on his leg, “I feel horrible, Jon…”
“I’m sorry, darling,” the nickname slipped out, as he stroked her hair back and Jonah froze for a second, but Angie didn’t seem bothered in the least. In fact, she cuddled up even more, turning on her side and shivering, “I need to take your temperature,” he said, leaning to grab the thermometer and passing it to her.
He was genuinely surprised by how easy of a patient Angie was, after dealing with Leo and their friends for years now. They were a crew of stubborn people, while his baby sister seemed to be the most docile person ever.
She took the thermometer without complaining and didn’t whine when he fed her medicine, barely paid any attention to the television, seeming content just cuddling and shivering like hell, no matter how many blankets she had.
“Jon,” Leo woke him up, pressing a kiss to his temple, and Jonah realized he had drifted back to sleep with Angie’s head resting on his lap. It was hard not to feel sleepy when she was a little furnace, “you okay?”
“Uhm?” he rubbed his eyes and frowned. Leo was almost finished dressing for the day, which meant it was nearly 9 already. His tie wasn’t done and Leo was holding a coffee mug.
“What happened…?” Leo gestured to their current situation and Jonah darted out a hand, so his fiance could help him slip from under Angie without waking her up. The young girl only stirred, grimacing and curling up even more.
“Woke up with her throwing up at 6 AM,” Jonah whispered, following Leo to the kitchen and sitting by the counter, while the blonde got the coffee maker working, “I’m gonna have to call in sick at work.”
He wasn’t happy about that, Jon was on a quest to not miss any more work days, since he’d take the month off for honeymoon, probably at the end of the year or as soon as they stopped to settle on a bloody date.
“I’ll do it for you,” Leo planted a mug of coffee in front of him, squeezing Jonah’s shoulder, “should I worry?”
“No,” Jonah yawned, leaning to rest his head on Leo’s shoulder, “she’s alright, it’s just a 24 hour bug.”
“I don’t like this,” Leo sighed, “I’m going to be offline all day, I have no way of knowing-”
“I’m the doctor,” Jonah said smugly, grabbing the blonde’s chin, “I can handle one sick teenager. Relax.”
“Look who’s talking,” Leo smiled at him, rolling his eyes, “text me updates anyway, alright?”
“Yes, sir,” Jon’s tone was sassy, but he meant it. He yawned in his fist, pulling Leo closer by his tie and starting to do the knot for him, “you’re gonna be back for dinner?”
“I’ll try to,” Leo wrinkled his nose, “but I doubt. You think she’d like balloons? Popsicles?”
“She’s seventeen, not five,” Jonah snorted, lifting himself up on his seat enough to kiss him, “bring us something yummy for dessert.”
Once Leo had left, promising he’d not forget to call the hospital to let them know of Jonah's absence, Jon had nothing but time to dedicate to his sister. It was so weird.
He took a shower to get ready for the day and fixed her up with some soup — well, ordered some soup —, then crouched down in front of the couch, pushing a curl away from her forehead, “Angie. Ange,” he shook her gently, “Angelina.”
“Uhhm?” She still had a fever, he could tell. The previous round of meds had lowered it, but not eradicated it, “what time is it?”
“Almost eleven,” he helped her sit up, “how’s your tum- stomach?” he was going to kill Leo.
Angie frowned, yawning, “sore. Kinda queasy,” she blushed, “did you say tummy?”
“No,” Jonah scoffed, sitting on the foot of the couch, “I got you some soup, think you can handle it?”
She hesitated, before nodding. Jonah eagerly shot up, he hadn’t been expecting a positive answer, and put everything on a tray, the soup, bread, some water and juice because he didn’t know what she preferred…
“I’m sorry, I don’t know your favorite flavor, so I just ordered mine,” Jon grimaced, settling the tray down on Angie’s lap.
She squinted at it, “is it pumpkin?”
“Yeah, and some chia seeds,” Jonah looked away, “Leo hates it, so we have plain tomato soup if you do too-”
“No,” Angelina shook her head, “I like it. My favorite is onion cream, just so you know,” she curled up her feet, in an invitation for him to sit closer and stirred the warm meal, “but I don’t think I could handle it right now.”
“I don’t think so either,” Jonah mentally stashed the information in his growing file of facts about his sister. So far he knew she really loved anything artsy, that she was attracted to Wendy’s colorful clothes and style like a butterfly to a flower, that she adored cats and that she got quiet and withdrawn when sick, “uh- Do you like popsicles…?”
Angie giggled, rolling her eyes, “doesn’t everyone?”
Well shit, he’d have to apologize to Leo.
“I don’t,” Jon shrugged and she frowned, starting to eat very slowly.
“Are you a robot?” Angelina inspected him up and down, “no type of popsicles?”
“I’m partial to gelato,” Jon shrugged, “or frozen yogurt.”
She shook her head in a tired manner, reaching for the juice instead of the water, “you’re so very weird, Jon…” then she frowned, blinking slowly as if trying to process some information, “don’t you have work today?”
Originally, Angie had planned to visit the museums and the university, that was the guise behind her visit. At least to Jonah it was, he was pretty sure she had openly told Leo she just wanted to visit them.
“I called in sick,” Jon pointed at her bowl, “staying down?”
“Yeah,” she yawned, “but it’s a lot.”
“You don’t have to eat all of it. Get as much as you want, then we can watch something or you can go back to sleep-”
“Can we go out to the park? With JD?”
He paused, “aren’t you sick?”
“I’m not dying,” Angie pouted, “and I already won’t be able to do everything I had planned so…”
“Yeah, uh- Sure. I don’t know where Leo keeps her leash, he’s the one who walks her, I just- I have to look…” He felt so incredibly out of place, “yeah, lemme go look-”
JD let out an indignant meow at being trapped in her leash and swatted at his hand with all little kitty force, trying to draw blood. Jonah sighed, scratching the kitten behind her ears, “I’m sorry, but you’re gonna take one for the team and be a good kitty.”
The cat didn't feel like being nice and once they got outside, walking to one of the benches since Angie got breathless not even five minutes after they left, JD simply crawled up Jon’s lap and tried to hide in his coat.
“She’s not outdoorsy at all, is she?” Angie grinned, leaning on his shoulder and trying to pet the animal, JD pointedly ignoring her. Jonah shrugged, leaning back and enjoying the fresh air.
“She’s a bit of a prick just like me,” he answered truthfully, hissing as he felt JD’s claws sink through his sweater, “she’ll get used to you.”
“I hope so,” Angie sighed, leaning against his side and resting her face on his shoulder, uninvited. She was so… Tactile. Clingy, even. Jonah pressed his cheek to the top of her head, “I hope she’ll grow to love having me around.”
He had the distinct feeling she was no longer talking about the cat. Jonah rolled his eyes, kissing the top of Angie’s head, “I’m certain she will, darling.”
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A Fitpac pirate AU where Fit is a rugged old pirate captain, And Pac is a renowned thief running away from the law (The Federation)
Ft. Richas, Ramon, and many other QSMP characters
"sooo... How long will this take again?"
Pac clicked his tongue.
"Paciência, Richas. You need to learn patience"
Richarlyson made an offended noise at that but Pac continued on before he could complain.
"And anyways- looking for the right ship in our field of work takes a lot of effort, you know? It's not like the perfect vessel is going to suddenly roll ou-"
"I see a ship coming in right over there, actually" Richas interrupted smugly, peeking his eyes over the edge of the barrel he was hiding in, which Pac was resting one elbow on.
Pac sighed in amused exasperation.
"You know that's not what I meant Richinhas! Besides, you're not supposed to be seeing anything right now! You're going to get caught!" he hissed.
Richarlyson reluctantly lowered himself back down.
"What am I even here for if I can't look for ships, anyways?" he said, probably pouting.
(not that Pac would really know. He was taking great care not to look at the barrel while they were talking. He had standards after all).
"You're here because once we find a ship, I'm going to need to get you on it. Also, just sitting on a dockyard for hours looking for a crew that would take a pretty well known thief is boring"
He wasn't lying there. Even with the pretty view of the sparking ocean and the wooden barges and schooners and all the other typical 1700s vessels coming in and out of the busy seaside town, it could get old pretty fast.
"Thieves. Plural. There's two of us now" Richas said, using his cute little offended voice again.
"I said well known Richas. I hate to break it to you, but no one's going to recognize the little poofy-haired brazillian kid that just so happened to be around my last couple hiests"
He groaned dramatically
"whatever, why are we even going on a trip to nowhere anyways!!! I like it here!"
"Oh come on! Where's your spirit of adventure! Of freedom! We're going on a trip to see the world, Richarlyson!!!"
"more like because you're seriously broke..." He muttered.
"OI! Cálmate, Richas! Or I'll send you back to the orphanage cellar where I found you!" Pac snickered as he elbowed the barrel beside him.
"Hey!!!" He tried to act offended at that too, but after a second he started quietly laughing along with his dad.
...Richas wasn't wrong though. The royal guard here were getting too used to his regular schemes. They needed to find a new stomping ground if they were to continue making money.
"Alright fiiineeeee, so where are we going to find this magical ship that's supposed to take us away on a magical adventure"
"You can stop saying the word magical now, there's nothing magical about pirates"
Richas gasped. "PIRATES??!??!?????"
"Oi!! Keep it down, will you!" Pac hissed again.
"Yes, pirates. I told you, there's not many crews that would take on a known thief. What were you expecting?"
"But what if they kill us! What they rob us and then tear out our innards before feeding us to sharks!!!" Richarlyson whisper-screamed.
"That's why we're sneaking you on board. Even though pirates usually don't hurt anyone who treats them well, I'd rather not take my chances.
...Also, you have a terrifyingly bloody imagination"
He huffed irritatedly at that.
"Ok, fine, so how do we find this still magical pirate ship to take us out into the middle of nowhere?"
"I'm glad you asked Richas! Pirate ships are usually built for speed and ability to traverse shallower waters, to outrun the law and catch other ships along the coast! Also, they remodel it so there's an entire flat deck just for guns, and more room for cargo. And usually they're a bit more... uhh... Messy than your usual navy or merchant ship" he rambled, ignoring the 'Middle of Nowhere' comment again.
"Okay, so how long are we going to wait to for a ship that looks like that"
Pac considered for a moment, looking out at the docks while he worked it out in his head. "... probably a couple days at least..." Before a galleon at the other end of the dock finally pulled out, revealing a truly ugly midsized sloop vessel behind it, almost entirely patched-together looking except for the shining guns on all sides and the nameplate at the stern, which read
"The Shitshack"
Pac slowly began to grin.
"Actually,
I think we've already found one"
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GODDD.
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...
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bg3 is too fun. too fun.
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Swear to god I don't know why I ever try to bring anything up with that woman it's never a good idea but every time I'm like "what if this time I'm not immediately told I'm wrong". Call me either an optimist or a fool
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SNORK FUCKING MIMIMI
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i FUCKED this year UP . i should have been saving way way way more money than i was while i had my rent sorted for this year . fuck . anyway it's literally fine it's whatever i don't care i made my bed and i'm going to fucking lie in it .
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i’m trying to read every unread book on my bookshelf before the end of the year and the problem is. a lot of the reasons i abandoned certain books is because they are . not good but lord im trying 🙏
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fm funk fursday: jan 5th 2023
ok yeah its fm funk fursday now. ive decided because i can decide these things and what the hell am i supposed to do. not be insane about the new album i found yesterday? i am transfem; it's vital to my mental health that i do this. also im still on the initial wave of energy i get from my adderall. either way here's the song
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