#and as i said last time it supposedly captures his likeness well :-D things which make me so very happy

[meshlasolus]

House Of Memories (55/?)

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!reader

Warnings: a little steam ig idk

Summary: You and Anakin retrieve Echo from Skako Minor, then return home to Coruscant for your first wave of training for the Jedi trials of the temple.

A/n: i got lazy on the last part and used an obi-wan request to fill in the gap… whoops. Anyways, next chapter begins the events of Episode 3, who's ready?

also y'all if you like the story, maybe consider buying me a coffee :)

Words: 3.4k

The ship flew past the canyons of Anaxes, and boy was it a contrast from the last few days on Skako Minor. You were glad to be back. The mission was tiring, and having received word that the victories were returning to the men of the republic, you smiled.

Echo, the lost clone trooper, was sat beside you, shivering in a blanket that they had given him to keep warm in. It didn’t seem to be doing him much good. Once the adrenaline of the fights had worn off, he had been rendered very badly damaged, although he was much better off than he had been about a day ago. You hated to see what the separatists had done to him. A human being, as a prisoner of war. It was hard to think of everything he must have gone through. He wasn’t one to complain, but you’d bet he had some stories to tell. Things about when they first captured him, before they forced him int submission. It seemed awful, and you could hardly think about having to undergo those terrors yourself.

You placed a hand on his shoulder, getting his attention gently, and watching as he turned to you with a curious expression.

“If you’re still cold, I might be able to help,” you suggested. He was a soldier, and a good one. He didn’t want anyone to know when he was struggling, but given the circumstances, and with his weakened immune system, he figured he could cut himself a break.

“Well, I’ve been warmer.”

You chuckled, scooting closer and placing both hands on each shoulder, focusing your energy to make his blood run faster, warming up his body temperature enough to keep him tied over until you reached the heated spaces of the clone barracks, where he would be well rested.

“Thank you,” he said, giving you a kind smile, and unwrapping himself from the blanket. “I feel much better now.”

“I’m glad I could help. I’m just sorry we hadn’t known about you all this time, perhaps it all could have been prevented,” you weren’t even there when he was thought to be dead, but you’d heard about the way he supposedly went down, and it was hard. Now knowing that he’d been tortured by the opposing side of this war, you felt some sort of guilt for it. You couldn’t have done anything to stop it, and yet you felt guilty. It was a rather annoying trait of yours, feeling responsible for anything and everything. You thought that perhaps it was implanted in you by years of abuse from the council… which did place the blame for everything on you. No matter, it stuck with you, and it was pouring out now.

“Unlikely, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

You nodded, patting him on the back once more and preparing to stand, as you sensed it was near landing time.

“It’s good to have you back with us, trooper,” you saluted to him, and he did the same before you turned and walked to the cockpit, sitting beside Anakin as he began to slowly bring the ship down.

You saw Obi-Wan’s ship being fueled on the tarmac, along with yours and Anakin’s, and you grinned wide. That meant you were going home.

You weren’t fond of many planets, though you liked to visit, it was simply that and nothing more. You never let yourself form attachments to any planets, except for perhaps Naboo, but the one Planet you would always look forward to returning to, the one you’’d made your home, was Coruscant. Obviously, home wasn’t necessarily a place, but a person, Obi-Wan. You supposed you’d grown to love Coruscant so much because you associated it with him, with his love and yours, together.

“Anaxes is the republic’s,” you spoke out loud, and Anakin nodded. He couldn’t wait to get back to Coruscant, as he hadn’t seen Padme in quite some time. When you’d seen her last, he was jealous of the time you got to spend, although happy for the moments you got to spend with Obi-Wan as well.

Anakin couldn’t explain it, and neither could Obi-Wan, but they seemed to be drifting apart. Of course, when one would run into the other, it was as if nothing ever happened, but the times it happened were becoming far and few between. He loved the man like he was his brother, Anakin did. You knew that Obi-Wan would aways love Anakin just the same, no matter the distance or time between them, he would always love the boy that he trained into a Jedi Knight, the same as he trained you. You understood why obi-Wan was so protective of you, so attached. He was in love with you, as you were with him, but that wasn’t the only reason. It was because he no longer had Anakin to hold onto, to protect and keep under his wing. It was because of this that he became so cautious about your being.

“We can finally get off of this skug hole,” he joked, looking at you to see that you were only slightly amused by his humor. You didn’t think this planet to be so bad, honestly. You even met some new friends, although it took you quite a bit of time to get to the friendship stage. You were barely even welcoming of the accomplice stage only yesterday.

“Your senator will be happy to see you. She’s been missing you, Anakin.”

He looked at you, his gaze almost sorrowful, and you couldn’t help for feel bad for bringing it up.

“It’s been getting harder,” he said, putting the ship on the ground and beginning to wrap up protocols. “I don’t see her as often, and when I do, it’s never alone.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help. I feel useless now that I can’t fix any of your problems anymore,” you remembered the old days, the ones where you would stay up late into the night, enduring nightmares so that Anakin wouldn’t have to. You were happy to carry that for him, but now his problems were bigger, and you couldn’t take that weight on your shoulders.

“Even if you could, I wouldn’t want you to. You’ve already done so much for me, I hardly think it’s fair.”

You chuckled, recalling the endless amounts of times when he either saved, or helped to save your life. You’d say it broke even.

“The point is, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I feel lucky to have the situation I have when I think about you and Padme. Given, my circumstances aren’t ideal, but I know it could be much worse. If you ever need a favor, or someone to use as an alibi, I’m here,” you stood from your seat, exiting the cockpit and following him to the back ramp.

“I don’t know how I ever got along without you,” he said, ruffling your hair as a fond gesture before leaving the ship.

“You didn’t.”

-

Coruscant was a buzz with chatter. There had been a set time for the trials to take place. Five months time, which was the council’s prediction of what could hopefully be the end of the war. You’d be leaving again for some more mild missions, just to give you a break from the last one, but in between, all Padawans were brought back to the temple for a week of intense training before being shipped off again.

The Masters of every Padawan took turns with the lot of them, giving their devout attention to making sure every preparation was made by the end of the week. Only the most capable would be taking the trials, and you were proud to finally join the others. You hadn’t exactly been slacking off on training the last few days, as you’d passed every test, but you were a little lazy in your technique until today. Today Obi-Wan was leading the training exercises, and you were ready to show off a bit more than you had been doing as of lately.

“The trials will be intricately designed to test every strength and weakness you possess, and in order to conquer the challenges, you must be willing to let go, of both those strengths and weaknesses. You are a vessel of the force, and as long as you let it guide you, you will never fail,” Obi-Wan paced up and down the line of you, looking upon each member of the small group and making his predictions. He knew not the judge a book by it’s cover, and he never did, but it was always nice to have an assumption on what he could expect.

He stood in front of a chamber, surrounded by glass and made of a strong steal. It looked like a garbage chute, but for people. You wondered if it ha anything to do with his ‘scheming’ that was going on the the sitting room of your apartment the night before. You had tried sitting with him, pretending to be sleepy and lay on his shoulder when really you were just trying to take a peek at what he was organizing on his holo-pad. He’d kissed your head and sent you to bed, not even giving you a glimpse of what was to come.

“Each of you will enter this chamber, one at a time. The ground will drop from beneath you, and you will fall into a practice arena, much like the one you will face at the trials. There are several obstacles, both physical and mental. Once you have all entered, you may begin the course. The first to the end will get to forgo sparring today,” he spoke, and immediately everyone was becoming more competitive. The funny thing was, he already knew who was going to win, and his prize to the others was actually something you didn’t mind, and would probably end up ignoring anyway. It was his perfect win/win situation. “Who wants to go first?”

Every hand shot up into the air except yours, and he chuckled. Always so eager you were, but not when it came to training you’d done a thousand times. Sure, you would do it and give it your best because you strived to make him proud, but it wasn’t something you necessarily needed to do. You were ready for the trials when you were fifteen.

“Alright, we’ll go down the line.”

The one standing at the front was Zule Xiss, a talented Jedi and a promising consular. You’d worked with her once, along with her Master Glaive. It was to provide assistance on Naboo not long after the battle of Geonosis. She was strong, and you knew she had the heart to pass the trials. She entered the chute, and waited for the chamber to close around her, before the floor came out from beneath her, and she gasped as though she wasn’t expecting it.

When the chamber reset, there was now a screen, showing where she’d landed, in a dark arena, unlit until everyone was there.

The next in line was Tae Diath, who was the apprentice of his uncle, Nico Diath. He was a valiant fighter, a very serious person that you’d not had many dealings with, but even still, he had the makings of a great Jedi. He was a rule follower by nature, so it wasn’t hard for him to follow the right pathways. He stepped in the chamber, taking in a breath as it closed around him. He saw this as not just practice, but the real thing. If he could pass this, he was confident he could complete the real challenges. He dropped down into the arena, and could now be seen standing next to Zule.

Mak Lotor, the infamous boy that had a secret. He was good to keep it for a long time, and Obi-Wan was beginning to think that perhaps he wasn’t so bad after all. He had strength, not like you of course, but he was practical, and had what it took to finish his career as a padawan, to enter knighthood along with it’s responsibilities. He seemed almost excited to step into the chute, letting the glass close around him. He gave a teasing salute to you, and you rolled your eyes, watching as he fell through the floor and onto the grounds that could be seen on the screen.

Kass Tod, the Zabrak girl with long black hair. She was the definition of determination if there ever was one. She too was a consular, and thought herself to perhaps be your equal. You knew she only thought that way because she could also best her Master in combat as could you. The thing is, though, her master was far from the likes of General and Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. She was arrogant, but not to a fault. It was more of a quiet superiority, one you didn’t let yourself mind, though you could sense it on her through the radiation of the air around her. She entered the chamber, and kept her face stern as she fell through to the arena below, giving you one last look before she was gone. You shuddered. You obviously weren’t intimidated by her, but she did sort of bother you to some degree. You could have sworn that she hated you.

There was no one left beside you, and you had become the only one remaining. You stepped into the chamber, but before Obi-Wan let it close around you, he leaned inside and gave you a smile.

“I know you’re going to beat them, but for the sake of their ego, make it close,” he said, only half joking as he knew you wouldn’t lose on purpose, but you certainly would meet him in the middle in at least making it seem like it could have been anyone’s game.

“How close?” You narrowed your eyes, tilting your head and crossing your arms as to convey the tone.

“Close enough that I won’t be called out for picking favorites.”

“But I am your favorite,” you reasoned.

“They don’t need to know that,” he said, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose with yours, before he stepped back, giving you one last once over. “Let the force guide you, little one. I’ll be watching from the end.”

You laid your head against the back of the chamber, waiting for the floor to drop, and when it did, there was a split second of adrenaline rush through your body until you hit the ground feet first.

You looked to the others, who seemed slightly annoyed that they still couldn’t see anything, but then the lights came on, the your course was shown. Tests of strength, wisdom, and overall wellness for a Jedi. You were astounded by the things you saw, as they looked, for lack of a better word, challenging.

You were excited, and as you saw a a hologram at the top of the arena light up, beginning a count down, you took your mark, focusing in on the course ahead of you. I am one with the force, and the force is with me.

-

Your back hit the training mat, hard. Since he had some time off, and Padme was busy in the senate, Anakin decided to stop by and aid Obi-Wan in his efforts to train you for the trials. You winced as you looked up at his mischievous smirk standing above you. Oh how foolish of you to think that this would be easy.

“That’s eleven for me, care to make it twelve?” He teased, holding a hand out to aid you. You couldn’t place it, the reason why you lost to Anakin. If Obi-Wan was able to defeat him so many times, surely you would have been able to do it at least once by now, but you never did.

“I don’t think my spine could handle twelve,” you said, stretching your back and twisting your body side to side to help alleviate the pressure.

“If its any consolation, you almost had me that time.”

“Sure I did,” you said sarcastically, knowing he was only trying to make you feel better.

Obi-Wan was watching from the corner, arms crossed as he also tried to place the thing that made you lose. He was so sloppy, it should have been impossible. Perhaps he was your only weakness, and you couldn’t defeat him. It was a good thing you’d never have to face him for real, otherwise you’d be dead to the worlds.

“Are you done wreaking havoc on my padawan?” He asked, trading places with Anakin and waiting for him to find something else to do. Honestly, he was tired of winning, or so he told himself.

“Eh, she’s fine,” Anakin waved his hand at the comment, but before he turned to leave, he gave you a nod, and you smiled, letting him know you weren’t actually hurt. “I’ll see you both tomorrow, right now I am needed at the senate.”

Once he was out of the room, Obi-Wan had an idea for training. He’d been thinking about it since the day you told him about your spat with the bad batch, the way you proved them all to be horrendously presumptuous by blindfolding yourself on the battlefield. The way you described your senses to him sounded like an exercise his Master once taught him to use.

He tied a piece of fabric over your eyes, waiting to feel your signatures intertwining before he grabbed his saber from his hip, activating it as a sign that he was ready to begin.

Just the two of you, alone in the sparring room, you stood straight, your lightsaber in one hand as you prepared to feel your opponent through the force.

Obi-Wan snuck up on you from your left side, and you swung your arm around to block his movement, beginning the duel. The sounds of sabers clashing, and heavy breathing could be heard in the echoes of the training room, and your fight was getting sloppy, but so was his. You were tired and beaten from your losses against Anakin, and it was ruining your technique. If there was one person that always tired him out while sparring, it was you. You managed to hit his saber out of his hands, thinking you'd won, but you got cocky, and soon he used the force to bring you forward, and your saber too went flying away from your grasp.

"Hand to hand can still save you in a time of need," he said, but you were already tired, and getting weaker with every round the two of you had gone.

You felt his presence approach you with an oncoming attack, and ducked beneath his swing, but missed his next move, as he swept you while you were still down, bringing you to your back on the ground beneath him. You were about to get up, but your slow speed did not aid you well. He straddled your hips and held your arms down on either side of your head, watching you pant underneath him.

"I surrender," you smirked, your chest heaving up and down with every breath you took. You felt ragged, and sweaty, but Obi-Wan looked down beneath him and saw a masterpiece.

"Good, but I can't let you go just yet."

He laced your fingers with his, pressing your hands further into the ground as he leaned forward and kissed you once, teasingly at first, and brining himself back up, but before he could move away, you were using the force, pulling him back down again and kissing him deeper.

“Obi, someone could see.”

“No one is here, little one.”

He wasted no time in letting his lips ravish yours once more. No one could ever kiss you like Obi-Wan Kenobi. You knew that since you'd only ever kissed him that perhaps the range of knowledge was primary to him, but you didn't really desire anyone else's lips but his own. You loved the way he tasted as he licked into your mouth, creating sensations in your body that were more than welcome.

It was only when you sensed he was enjoying himself thoroughly that you turned your head, breaking away and teasing him like you always did.

"I believe we have training to accomplish, Master Obi-Wan," you rolled him underneath you, taking off your blindfold and giving a most innocent smile to him before you got up.

He was a mess on the floor, still, and you reveled in the power you had over him, however little it may be. He was so gone for you, it was insane.

"I'd say you have made enough progress for today."

-

tags:

@spencerrxids @sawendel @fandomstanner24 @i-shall-abide @officialjellydoughnut @whatshxrname @darkened-writer @superavengerpotter @cutiepoo16 @hypnoash @softlymellow @howlerwolfmax @mephistominion @honestlywtfisgoingon @anakinskywalkerog @mandiiellen @je--a-n @guyinachair27 @avenger5-a55emble @amelia-song-pond @kaminanii @the-abyss-of-fandoms @queenofnightdreamland @world-dominating-kitty @mandowhatnow @ella-error505 @annahalo @infinity-witch @beetlejuice-stuff @liueski @solarbxby @sirianisrock @lxdyred @endless-warrior-always-fighter @iloveinej @msjb2002 @shoochi @itsilvermorny @gingerrosecosplay @sebschicken @loversjoy @argentinemango @1-800-vader @house-of-kolchek @marierg @graciexmarvel @ttzamara @truly-madly-nerdy @molieux @majahu @dyzlks @pancakefancake

#obi wan kenobi #obi wan series #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x padawan #ewan mcgregor

[sneez]

here are all the images i frankenfaxed together, working through the night with welding torch and scalpel to painstakingly craft The One True Fairfax, my masterwork, the big sad man supreme. behold

#fairfax #ghost post #hark!!!! #the sixth image is the one leeds castle sent me :-D #i know all these pictures look the same i know the differences are subtle in the extreme but i can TELL #the image i made is by no means perfect (it is after all several images stacked on top of one another) but i think it is the one which best #conveys the Expression and [youth voice] Vibe of the original miniature #the picture i had before (the first one with the red background) is close but he doesnt have the same mildly interested expression that the #original has. i feel like he is leaning forwards in the original and making ‘hmm oh yes mm do go on’ noises #and i think the new one captures that :-D and also his little smile. crumb #i was going to say crumbles to dust but i will just leave it at crumb i think that does the job #anyway :-D here he is......big googly eyes and all #he looks so young in this particular portrait and especially in the new version......little small (6 foot plus) man #i have never been able to find out when it was painted but i am guessing it was sometime in the 1640s given that he is depicted in armour #and as i said last time it supposedly captures his likeness well :-D things which make me so very happy #and his silly little fringe pieces. beloved #the fifth image is also one i had to frankenfax because i found it on the cover of a book (the wilson biography) but it was at an angle so i #had to overlay it on top of the first picture and distort it until it lined up and then mess around with the colours for ages because the #original picture was a photograph from ebay in very had lighting #and then he ended up a bit wonky anyway! but no matter. frankenfaxing is a hobby of mine :-D

[baebeyza]

So about them TF animes

Had been thinking about TF villains and the sweet “pure evil” trope that I oh so love and what it means to humanize a villain.

Had a talk some time ago where my discussion partners basically said that pure evil versions of Megatron aren’t good and that a story about war should have more grey morality.

You know my opinion on the matter- I fucking love Megatron as a pure evil villain, I don’t care about his motives, I just wanna see him be evil and have fun :D

One thing I said is that the anime shows tend to not give the villains any real reason to be evil while the cartoons after G1 did, which led to the conclusion that the animes aren’t as good as the cartoons in regards to villain writing. 

Lemme make a counter argument to this:

NO. The TF anime villains are not worse than the cartoon villains. The anime villains tend to far more humanized than the cartoon villains!

Do the villains from japanese G1, Beast Wars II, RiD01 and the Unicron Trilogy have grey morality about them and any reasonable motive behind being evil? No.

Do Beast Wars, Beast Machines, TFA, TFP, Cyberverse and WFC (IDW too) villains have any reasonable motive for being evil? Yes. 

- Beast Wars Megs says he’s fighting against Maximal oppression, - Beast Machines Megs says he fights for harmony, - TFA Megs says he fights to return home, - TFP Megs started as a revolutionary, same as Cyberverse (and IDW), - RiD15 Steeljaw says he wants to create a decepticon homeworld, - WFC is the same as TFP and is special to me because he is seen to be far more conflicted about his methods than any of the above. 

“Good” motive, ey?

But lemme tell you one thing- Beast Era Megatron is an evil bitch. Nothing about what he says is true. TFA Megs isn’t a good person either.  TFP Megs even less. (and no we don’t care about his last minute redemption in the movie) Cyberverse never demonstrated any true motivation to fight for something good either. (WFC is another box and I don’t wanna go too deep into IDW because I haven’t read most of it, but I know that in Phase 1 he gives no shits and is just evil for evil sake) The idea of them having “good motives” means nothing, because their characters are still vile and evil. 

What about the anime villains? They don’t have any good motive or backstory. They do evil for evil sake. Only BWII Galvatron can be said to have a good motive, but that is basically “peace through tyranny” and it doesn’t get explored as he basically spouts his reasoning at the very end.  But besides Headmasters’ Megazarak, Victory’s Deszaras and RiD01/Cybertron Megatron, who are truly some evil bitches, most anime Decepticon leaders are more humanized than those of the cartoons, despite not having a good motive. Headmasters’ Galvatron is a far more nicer version of him than in G1. He is shown to be friendly and hugging his men on multiple occasions.  Masterforce’s Overlord is a caring leader for his men! He went against the true evil leader when that one tortured two Decepticons and joined the Autobots in the end! Also Overlord is a robot formed by Giga and his wife Mega, who act as parents to the Decepticons under their wing.  BWII Galvatron is a truly chill and nice boss with a soft spot for his younger brother, with whom he has some nice and heartwarming development in the end. Armada Megatron is shown to care for his men on multiple occasions and agrees to join forces with the Autobots against Unicron because of Starscream. He even had a sweet moment with the human characters.  Energon Megatron/Galvatron has some moments of genuine worry and care for his men too, especially Starscream, who is his favourite.  And these villains DONT have a good motive for fighting a war! They are evil for evil sake, written as evil villains to oppose heroic heroes, and they still got more nuance then the villains who DO got good motives! When do TFA or TFP Megs ever show genuine care for their men??? TFP Megs didn’t even show care about Soundwave being captured! And TFA is only nice when it benefits him and it is quite clearly only used for manipulation.  Beast Era Megs couldn’t care less about the safety of his men. And Cyberverse didn’t even want to help against the Quintessons and everything he did afterwards was to save his own ass.

So what’s the good motive for then??? It doesn’t make them more nuanced and it doesn’t make them less evil! 

In general, the anime Decepticons are far more humanized then the cartoon ones. You see them caring for another or having friendly interactions far more often than in the cartoons.  Headmasters’ got Sixshot as a genuine nice guy when he’s not ordered to do evil and leaving the Decepticons, Masterforce has the Decepticon humans be genuine friends with nice banter and the Godmaster brothers caring for each other as well + Sixknight switching sides,  Victory has the Dinoforce who all care for one another and even the Breastforce are shown moments of liking each other + Greatshot switching sides, BWII’s has Starscream and BB love each other as well as Thrust and Dirge + the Seacons being a really loving family, RiD01 has Sky-Byte as a villain who does good shit the whole time with the Predacons liking him, Armada has Demolishor being a caring teammate and Starscream as a tortured soul who is secretely very kind and switching sides, Energon has Demolishor and Cyclonus shown to be very good friends more than in Armada, Mirage being a lovesick fool, Starscream being saved by Scorponok and Sixshot loving his brother and wanting to avenge him, Cybertron has the four remaining Decepticons become buddies and end the show deciding to do evil together, after helping the Autobots save Planet Animatros. And not to forget that Soundwave and Sideways were genuine friends.

I am not saying that none of the cartoons have humanized Decepticons (roll call: BW Dinobot, Blackarachnia, Rampage + that scene where Inferno plays cards with Wasp and Quickstrike, BW Jetstorm and Thrust, TFP Breakdown, Knock Out and Dreadwing, Most Cons in Cyberverse + Globber switching sides) But you see, in those cartoons people argue that the villains have a good motive! And you got less examples of those Decepticons switching sides, being genuine friends or shown to care for their teammates.

While the Decepticons in the animes DONT have any good motives! They don’t fight for anything good and they didn’t start wanting to fight for anything good, and yet they are still shown to get along better as a team than the Decepticons in the cartoons, who are SAID to have once fought for something good!

So what does it matter how they started as a movement? How does the “had a good motive once” feature into their dynamics and actions?

Tl;DR The animes not giving the Cons a real motive to be evil is NOT a problem my peeps, as seen by the cartoons not writing their Decepticons any less evil then the animes do. 

The animes tend to write them as more “human” than the cartoons do.  PS: I didn’t mention Beast Wars Neo because I haven’t finished that one yet. Also I never ever believed that the Beast Wars cons ever fought for anything good apart maybe Dinobot, but Megatron says he fights against slavery, so :/ Also I do NOT hate the cartoons ffs, I just couldn’t let of the notion that the anime decepticons are somehow less than the cartoons ones just because they don’t have “good motives”. If anything the cartoons are more offensive for giving their clearly evil characters “good motives”. Like you either make a true grey moral stories or you just don’t give your damn pure evil villains “good” fucking motives. Which is why I just ignore the fact they supposedly have “good” motives, like who the fuck even cares when the villains themselves don’t represent that???

#transformers #tranformer rant #transformer posting #long post #decepticons #anime #cartoons

[letterboxd]

Ghosted Films: A Director’s Nightmare.

To mark a conversation with Peter Medak about his new documentary The Ghost of Peter Sellers, which details a particularly tumultuous early 1970s film shoot, Dominic Corry looks at how the inherently nightmarish pursuit that is filmmaking has informed other movies.

“Every frame you set up references yourself and your entire life, so bits and pieces indirectly of your life go into every movie.” —Peter Medak

On a certain level, filmmaking is an essentially traumatic experience. The extreme number of moving parts, umpteen tiers of variables—both creative and practical—and the cacophony of egos involved all amount to what in the best-case scenario could generously be considered organized chaos.

And for the most part, it all falls on the director’s shoulders. Although the long-prevailing auteur theory is regularly and healthily challenged these days, our default perception tends to be that whatever happens, good or bad, it’s the director’s fault. Some directors process their filmmaking nightmares by writing a review of the film on Letterboxd. But in the case of journeyman filmmaker Peter Medak (The Changeling, The Krays, Romeo Is Bleeding), he chose to process his filmmaking trauma by… making a film about it.

The Ghost of Peter Sellers revisits the making of the 1974 Peter Sellers-starring pirate comedy Ghost in the Noonday Sun, an infamous folly of a film that has long haunted Medak. It’s also one of those rare films on Letterboxd: at the time of writing it has just two reviews, and only 26 members in a community of two million have noted seeing it. Giving it one and a half stars, EWMasters writes: “Pretty awful. I mean talk about throwing it on the stoop and seeing if the cat’ll lick it up. There is one very good sequence where the crew goes to town on this big plate of fish and vegetables that’s really well done—but otherwise, this is really only worth the time of a Sellers completist”. (Perhaps the main character’s name—Dick Scratcher—should have sounded alarm bells.)

Medak is not the first filmmaker to spin non-fictional gold out of a director’s nightmare (in this case, his own). His movie follows in the footsteps of legendary documentaries such as Fax Bahr and George Hickenlooper’s 1991 film Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse, which revealed the full extent of the already infamous insanity that comprised the making of Francis Ford Coppola’s 1979 classic Apocalypse Now, and used extensive footage shot at the time by Coppola’s filmmaker wife Eleanor (filmmaker spouses are handy to have along for the ride, as Nicolas Winding Refn also knows). And there’s Keith Fulton and Louis Pepe’s 2002 work Lost in La Mancha, which detailed Terry Gilliam’s (ironically?) Sisyphean efforts to film an adaptation of The Man Who Killed Don Quixote.

In both instances, the films in question were (eventually) made—and released to some acclaim (one considerably more than the other)—but as The Ghost of Peter Sellers shows, the shooting of Ghost in the Noonday Sun was such an epic boondoggle that the unfinished film sat unreleased for years and was much later released to no acclaim whatsoever.

The uphill battle to make his never-released horror movie Northwestern made indie filmmaker Mark Borshadt an unlikely filmmaking hero thanks to the breakout success of Chris Smith’s 1999 documentary American Movie. Like with Ghost in the Noonday Sun, the efforts to make a film proved more interesting than the film being made.

Jennifer Jason Leigh and Kevin Bacon in ‘The Big Picture’ (1989).

There are several narrative films of note that have successfully captured the specific pandemonium of filmmaking. Richard Rush’s 1980 cult classic The Stunt Man follows a fugitive who stumbles his way into the titular job on a big chaotic Hollywood production (Peter O’Toole plays the Machiavellian director), while Christopher Guest’s under-appreciated 1989 comedy The Big Picture stars Kevin Bacon as a hot young director who is roughed up by the Hollywood machine. It’s a notable and often overlooked antecedent to The Player, and like the Robert Altman classic, is more about ‘the business’ overall than the specifics of filmmaking, although in both cases Hollywood proves itself analogically appropriate.

Playwright, writer and director David Mamet’s own filmmaking experiences obviously inform his 2000 comedy State and Main, in which a Hollywood production takes over and smothers a small town with its singular thinking. It’s not hard to imagine Mamet processing his own filmmaking trauma in State and Main, just as the Coen brothers famously did in Barton Fink, their ode to writer’s block supposedly inspired by the difficulty they had penning the screenplay for Miller’s Crossing.

Charlie Kaufman channeled his own creative struggles into the screenplay for the 2002 masterpiece Adaptation, then built on those themes with his wildly ambitious 2008 directorial debut Synecdoche, New York, whose more maddening aspects arguably capture the irrational nightmare that is filmmaking better than any film directly ‘about’ filmmaking.

With her 2018 documentary Shirkers, writer Sandi Tan gained some measure of closure regarding an indie film she had starred in and written in her home country of Singapore, in 1992. The documentary (which shares its name with the original movie) has her revisiting the footage from the never-released film, which was stolen (!) 25 years previously by its director—and Tan’s filmmaking mentor—George Cardona.

Back to Peter Medak. In The Ghost of Peter Sellers, which premiered at Telluride Film Festival in 2018 and has just had its virtual screening release, we learn that Hungarian-born Medak was a rising directing star in the early 1970s in London, hot off the Oscar-nominated Peter O’Toole film The Ruling Class. Unable to resist an offer to work with Peter Sellers, then comedy’s reigning superstar—mostly thanks to Blake Edwards’ Pink Panther films—Medak set about shooting a treasure-hunting pirate film on the island nation of Cyprus in the Mediterranean.

In addition to the usual production problems associated with shooting on boats, Medak had to contend with the titanically and infamously fickle Sellers, who quickly turned on him and attempted to get him fired. Sellers also antagonized the other actors, then, after failing to get the production shut down, brought in his friend and longtime creative collaborator Spike Milligan to try and salvage the film, but things kept going wrong, leaving Ghost in the Noonday Sun unfinished and Medak with the blame for the production’s troubles.

Director Peter Medak with Peter Sellers (as Dick Scratcher) and Spike Milligan (as Bill Bombay) on the set of ‘Ghost in the Noonday Sun’, finally released in 1984.

Although Medak’s career recovered, he has clearly been carrying around a lot of hurt associated with the experience, and it’s remarkable watching him work through that on screen by revisiting Cyprus, telling the story of the shoot, and talking to some of the people involved. Sellers (who died in 1980) looms large over the film, but it also has interesting content surrounding the great Spike Milligan, who died in 2002.

Why did you decide to revisit this experience with a documentary? Peter Medak: Because it’s been haunting me for all these years. Because it should’ve been a really very successful film and I was blamed for everything going wrong, when in fact it had nothing to do with me. It was due to Peter’s changing mind and state of mind, and all kinds of things had physically gone wrong on the film. It was always easiest to blame the director for everything and my career at the time was very high up after [The] Ruling Class and this should’ve been the icing on the cake and it wasn’t.

It really bothered me for many years afterwards, even though I went on working. I was asked to do it by the producer of the documentary and I originally said “It’s the last thing I want to do”, because it would mean I would have to go back to Cyprus where I shot the original movie and go on the water, and I never want anything to do with water anymore because a lot of the disasters on the film, production-wise, were all connected with shooting at sea, which is totally impossible to do. Then I thought: well, you know, I should just do it and try to explain what happened on the film. And because some of the explanations were funnier scenes than the original film. So that’s why I did it.

Peter Medak fishing for answers in ‘The Ghost of Peter Sellers’.

In the documentary, you talk about needing to free yourself from the experience by making this film. Do you feel like you achieved that? Well, I think I did because I had a wonderful time doing it. A very sad time at the same time because when you go back to places where you shot 45 years before, it creates a very strange kind of illusion inside your mind, your heart and everything of the time. And having been there then and then being there again, it’s a very strange kind of a supernatural feeling in a way. It felt like you have died and your ghost is actually revisiting all these things you know. I called it The Ghost of Peter Sellers because it sounds good and also because the original film was called Ghost in the Noonday Sun, and this ghostly feeling of mine of revisiting that island after all these years, it’s a very, very strange feeling and somehow the film captures that emotionally.

Do you feel like the large distance from the shoot was necessary to be able to revisit it? It’s not that I thought about it every day of my life, but I talked about it to all the people who I worked with in my following career. When I was doing Romeo Is Bleeding with Gary Oldman, my darling Gary said to me one day, “You know, we are crazy, what we should do is make a movie about your movie, but I don’t want to play Peter Sellers, I want to play you, with your Hungarian, broken-English accent.” We had a script written but we never did it. That was a good 25 years ago.

Peter Medak in front of a promotional poster for ‘Zorro, The Gay Blade’, his 1981 film starring George Hamilton and Lauren Hutton.

So you had considered doing a scripted version of it? Yeah, but I don’t know quite what we would’ve done. I said to Gary at the time: “I never want to go on a boat again”, and so I thought in my mind that the scenes would start each day [with] the characters getting off the pirate ship and they come ashore—that’s where the scenes would begin. I’m sure we would’ve done something quite wonderful, and it would’ve maybe explained the things the [documentary is] trying to explain because I guess that’s what has unconsciously driven me. Because [for the documentary], we didn’t write one word of it, I just completely did it out of instinct. Where I want to shoot, what I want to shoot, and how we should go from here to there. I loved it, so going back on to it was quite easy. It did show me actually what a wonderful medium it is, documentary, because you can do anything with it. It’s a much freer form than scripted movies. Which is rigid. And this is liquid.

Did you have any other documentaries about filmmaking in mind when you went into this? Not really. I knew Terry Gilliam’s Lost in La Mancha, because I love Terry and I love his films and we know each other and knew each other. Terry was very fortunate, because he had so much trouble before on Baron Munchausen, that he decided to have a documentary film crew filming the whole process, so he had the material available, which allowed him to make his film. I said to him after [a screening], “You were lucky because you didn’t make the movie. I had to suffer through 90-something days of shooting with Peter [Sellers].” But of course since then, Terry made the film, and he made something slightly different than what he was originally gonna do.

Peter Medak retraces his steps in ‘The Ghost of Peter Sellers’.

Did any of your subsequent films feel nearly as difficult? Most movies are very difficult to make, and always when you anticipate problems, they never seem to happen. When I did The Changeling, everybody said “George C. Scott is very, very difficult to work with” and he was an absolute angel with me and [it was] the easiest thing to do. It was a wonderful ghost story. I’m very proud of that film. It will live forever. All movies are like your kids, your own children, because you put so much emotion, so much of your soul. That’s what I’m saying to [Ghost in the Noonday Sun executive producer] John Heyman [in The Ghost of Peter Sellers]: the director’s viewpoint is completely different from the producer’s because every frame you set up references yourself and your entire life, so bits and pieces indirectly of your life go into every movie. Because of that it becomes an incredibly personal journey when you put your absolute soul on the line. When it gets criticized or not accepted or whatever, one takes it very personally because the whole thing came from a very personal experience, even though the subject may be nothing to do with you.

Peter Sellers on the set of ‘Ghost in the Noonday Sun’.

Even within the canon of famously difficult performers, Peter Sellers is notorious. How would you describe him to a modern audience? Well he was a genius, there’s no question about it. But he was a manic-depressive person. And it’s a generalization, but most of the great comics are manic-depressive. And he changes his mind all the time. One minute, he loves you, next minute, he hates you. One minute he loves the subject, next minute he doesn’t wanna do it, he wants to get out and all that. So it is very up and down. When you’re running film with a crew of 150 people, and boats on the sea, and weather’s changing and everything, you can’t have that, because you fall behind the schedule and things go wrong.

At one point very early on, all he wanted to do was get off the movie. And then he did everything he [could] to sabotage the film so the film would close down and he wouldn’t have to finish it. But it didn’t just happen on my film, it happened with all his biggest successes, including the Pink Panther movies. Because if you look into Blake Edwards, each one was an absolute nightmare for the director and for the film company, United Artists. And I was gonna include that in the documentary but it had nothing to do with the Ghost in the Noonday Sun so I didn’t. I actually shot some scenes with one of the executives from United Artists at that time who had to deal with the insanity of Peter and also Blake Edwards. I say ‘insanity’; I didn’t want to say it too much in the documentary because I love Peter, even today. And it’s wrong for me to accuse him of those things because it sounds like I’m excusing myself. Peter was crazy. There’s no other way one can describe it. Touched by God. And so was Spike Milligan. But Spike had the love of goodness. Peter had kind of a nasty streak on him when he turned on people.

There’s a moment in the documentary where you suggest that Spike Milligan is more influential than he gets credit for. Do you think he’s under-appreciated? Totally. Totally. Totally. Because his talent was absolutely, monumentally genius. I always say this, but Spike basically created Peter Sellers through [legendary BBC radio programme] The Goon Show. And he also gave him all those various characters and developed those voices for him. It’s all in The Goon Show. The Monty Pythons, they were inspired by The Goon Show and they made it into television. Not story wise, but style wise. That kind of zany, insane humor. Spike was a total genius. Not that Peter wasn’t, but they stood together, completely overwhelmingly wonderfully insane. But Spike was quite something. He was incredibly human, he was incredibly gentle. And incredibly kind. Peter was incredibly combative. And he had that most incredible ego.

But all our lives come from our backgrounds and what our past was and where we come from, and Peter had a very sad upbringing and a very sad life and he was tremendously influenced by his mother. When his mother passed away, he kept on talking to her for ten years. When he came to Cyprus to make the movie, he arrived with big blow-up [photos] of Liza Minnelli—who he’d just broken up with a week before—and his mum. And it sounds terrible when one says it, but psychologically, some of the answers are there. But at the same time, both Peter and Spike, I can’t tell you what a gift it was… I mean the reason I did the film is: who could give up the chance of actually working with Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan? It doesn’t matter what the fucking script is, you know? It was a wonderful thing and I would do it all over again tomorrow.

Related content

Our Showdown on films within films

‘The Ghost of Peter Sellers’ is screening in virtual theaters now. It will be available via video on demand services from June 23. A list of all the films mentioned in this article can be found here. Comments have been edited for clarity and length.

#peter medak #peter sellers #ghost in the noonday sun #the ghost of peter sellers #filmmaking fails #directing #documentary #filmmaking process #filmmaking #spike milligan #the goon show #monty python #the specific pandemonium of filmmaking #epic boondoggle #letterboxd

[percysbluepizza]

Oh we ARE impertinent

okay since @annabetncnase asked for it, my big ole post, UNEDITED about the Lightning Thief Musical on Broadway. good luck to anyone who attempts to read this shit

ACT 1

Prologue/Day I Got Expelled

Alright so there is big boom lightning at the very very beginning of the show because Of Course there is? But it also comes with a huge flash of light, which startled liTERALLY everyone in the audience. Very fun, good use of technical effects. First guy on is James Hayden (Luke + Some) and he opens with the line. Then KRISTEN FUCKING STOKES (whom I have grown to ADORE) and the rest of the ensemble (Sally, Claiese, and Grover) come on and have this AMAZING choreography. They’re singing and all and then these curtains (which have been up and are on my pic) get pulled away from both sides by the whole onstage cast and CHRIS runs up and does this slide thingy to the very tippy top of the stage, where he sat for a moment, then turned to the audience and started. I about screamed and I’m not joking, he’s so expressive and such a great Percy (god I’m in love with him great work). As the song progressed, I was impressed by the ability with lighting use and all these cool stage tricks to have the Mrs. Dodds and also the pen/sword thing! Jorrel plays Grover so well, he’s so empathetic and caring toward Percy and I!!! So the whole story of him getting expelled is explained and god it is so fucking sad. Percy’s voice cracks. Percy’s fucking upset clearly and doesn’t understand and ouch…. ‘So if you think you are a half-blood’ is said so gently, and then THE DANCING. Chris can dance. Like well. Very well. So during ‘THis ain’t Odyssey’s Odyssey” he did a big ole kick and danced his heart out. SO good.

Strong

So obviously there’s some talking in between the first piece and this one, and there was a scene change when the lights went out and now they’re in Percy’s apartment with his mom and Gabe. Gabe is like… god you seem him and you loathe him bc he’s played so well. Percy sprays a chan of ‘aerosol’ at one point bc Gabe smells. And Chris just captures Percy’s compassion so well… He tells his mom that she doesn’t have to stay with Gabe and doesn’t deserve that and ugh so good. There are genuine blue marshmallows. and the way they did the little fire with the fog in the bucket and Percy’s mom’s comforting him hhh.

The Minotaur/The Weirdest Dream

The transfer to this scene/piece is very quick, Grover comes running in with a trash can over his head and he asks if Percy told Sally about the field trip and she said no and it was just a big mess of miscommunication. He basically gets to the point where he says the Minotaur is after Percy and holy shit. This boy is massive. And the design of it is insane and it’s got red eyes and wow. ‘I hope you’re really a SWORD” and he fight and it’s all just great. Sally goes away, Percy kills the beast and then ‘Don’t pass out…” Poseidon is in a tank top and a open Hawaiian shirt as well as flip flops and just “oh look, a man in a Hawaiian shirt’ He takes the seashell and is just the most confused. And then they bring in Annabeth, pushing her on one of those dolly things and she’s ‘floating’ and the whole thing is a big dream. Up until she tells him “You drool when you sleep” right and the thing is… the banner for CHB unfurls and the lights come back up and all of that and just it’s a true rude awakening. Then he looked around the camp and was so confused, Annabeth (beautiful, amazing, badass Kristin) started explaining what was happening and he had no clue. She then calls for Mr. D  

Another Terrible Day

I don’t think you guys realize how good Jorrel is. Maybe you do but we stan Jorrel. But he comes out dressed in not matching clothes with a bright button up (pink) and plaid shirt, suspenders. He’s angry. Percy explains that he has no clue what’s going and everything’s getting explained to him with the other demigods. The other demigods are so cute and I love them so much. And he’s yelling through a megaphone. Jorrel can do so many roles so well and he did a great job. “You’re a horse?!” also he just clops. Like it’s human legs. Clip clop bitch. With a tail.

Their Sign

Again the transition from the first song to this second one is really fast. Chiron’s comforting but god is Percy angry. I love that tbh. Chris is clearly upset and he feels for Percy. And he shows it. He’s upset and then Percy’s voice goes all soft… Love that. Luke starts being buddy-buddy and showing him that it’s gonna be alright. Supposedly.

Put You In Your Place

Fucking. Sarah. Goddamn. I can’t believe how good she is. We stan so hard. Her fit? Great. Her voice? Belted. Awesome. Annabeth truly out here though. SHe’s intimidating as fuck and she knows what she’s about. There’s so much cool battle choreo in this scene and it just looks great. There’s blocking and stabbing and it looks awesome. Also that guitar riff that she comes in with is rad. And then the bathroom thing. Great. Percy’s cornered and it clearly shows that his powers came as a last resort with stress and the way they flashed the blue lights is just great I love that so fucking much. And they’re asking about the way he figured out those powers and they’re freaked out. Cool shit. Also “The plan would have worked either way.” Holy fucking shit. Annabeth is fucking scary as hell. She gives zero fucks about Percy at the beginning

The Campfire Song

The way they made the campfire is so cool! Very techy. And I didn’t realize they’re sitting around the campfire eating dinner together as a camp. Very family much love I’m a big fan. They’re putting the food into the fire and then complaining and I love it. Percy’s so sweet trying to talk about his mom and then come back around once they tell him what’s going on. Also they have a cute dance they do together. SO unified and lovely. And then THE FUCKING SIGN COMES. Percy’s sign. The whole thing. They’re looking and he’s like “Is that a fork?” “I’m the Son of Poseidon? sweet!) Everyone freaks out when they’re sure he’s a son of Poseidon. Percy is told to go see the “Mummy in the attic” “That’s old people talk for Mom, right?” Cue the Oracle.

The Oracle

This sounds so dumb but kinda like… found the Oracle impressive. Spooky. 10/10 Also… side note… Chris plays Percy with a lot of random mannerisms and movement and it’s really quite fun to watch. Anyway the Oracle is big spooky and she’s in a huge dress and she’s pointing to him and it has all the people who are in the next scene sitting there underneath and moving the dress. Big cool. And the vocals! Sis can sing. And it’s just beautiful bc then Percy has to see Mr. D and Chiron, the first of whom wants to turn Percy into a dolphin. “Percy you have no choice.” “You’re expelling me again?” Basically Percy is getting kicked out of camp bc of his unwillingness to do the quest. And there’s the transition to Good Kid my friends.

Good Kid

Guys oh fuck. Oh shit. Chris just really came out here to kill with the vocals tonight. And My heart? He kinda does a fist thing toward what would be the Big House and walks off to sulk, starting the song and walking around being angry ugh. He climbs up the back of the stage (which is essentially scaffolding) and sits at the end to deliver the sad part of the line when everything goes piano-y and soft and essentially that’s him sitting at the docks at the lake and watching the water. Luke later finds him (“If you’re a son of Poseidon, don’t hide at the lake, that’s where everyone will look.” and talks to him about the quest, where they figure out his mom would be in the Underworld if she was anywhere. Also there’s a trident where Percy is the middle prong and the other two are blue and shine on him UGH yeah

Killer Quest

“Yeah I’ll do it!” Was delivered so well, so sweet and innocent. This kid just misses his mom. Also since when did Luke and Percy get a bro handshake? Grover shows up with a bunch of bags and says he’ll go too (Luke’s chilling in the background) and he gives him the official questing backpack. I think Luke leaves at this point to get some shoes. Annabeth is there with a bag telling him that she’s going too and that her mom will be excited and they’re all dancing together and god I’m so emotional. They dance and they all work as a team so well great work you guys. And the lights turn out with them starting their quest!

Lost

Return from intermission with a literal bang, as there are three demon triplet math teachers on the bus, with Percy on top and Grover and Annabeth inside. The driver’s screaming, they’re screaming, Percy hops off the top and then fights the fury outside and eventually… The bus explodes, with confetti raining over the audience. Awesome. The piece of paper is in Annabeth’s bag pocket actually. And Percy’s trying to be a reassuring friend to Grover, who’s freaking out, and he’s trying to keep Annabeth safe too… ugh great stuff. They move all together when they say “We’re lost in the woods” for the first time. Their priorities really become clear later in the song when they talk about what they’re wanting. Grover could not be more enthusiastic about the squirrel. Also this is the first time we see Annabeth laugh at Percy “I think that’s kind of nuts” is the line and she turns around to laugh into her hand. PURE AS HELL. Wandering aimless through the forest occurs for a minute longer until Percy decides. This point in the musical made me realize that these kids are young. Like 11 or 12. I love that. I felt that in this one. The kids go into Auntie M’s art studio. Annabeth’s asked to take a picture and she’s checking her hair in her dagger, meanwhile Percy’s getting a bad feeling now and Grover’s looking more and more intently at Uncle Ferdinand. Percy is then asked to join in. No camera you say? MEDUSA REVEAL. They do a big battle and Grover ends up picking up Percy and swinging him around to cut off Medusa’s head. Which gets thrown in her own fridge for the time being. Grover leaves.

My Grand Plan

Bitch. This was the moment I teared up a lot. She sat down and started singing and I felt. I FELT. I’m depressed as fuck at the moment and I started feeling things bc of this damn song. Kristin Stokes I love you. Anyway, she’s singing and Percy intently watches, and she’s telling the gods to Wise Up by pointing directly to the sky. SHe’s saying BITCH YOU WILL NOTICE ME. And the pain in her voice when she explains her family situation. The soft part? She’s talking directly to Percy and looking at him, telling him what’s going on. Dear god did I feel. I’m so proud of her my queen Annabeth Chase. She finishes explaining and Percy says: “No more fighting” and she says “Not between us anyway” and they shake on it. I love that. Then Percy decides to have a little fun with the gods and boxes up Medusa’s head. “THey’ll think we’re impertinent Percy.” “Oh, we are impertinent.” He writes both Annabeth and his own name on that box and ships it via the Hermes express. Grover comes back in. “While you guys were in here not solving all our problems, I found these!” “Three Amtrack tickets!?”

Drive

We boarding the train. WE singing. Life is dandy again. Percy sticks his hand in a dog cage and it bites him. They take a tractor which is scaffolding tied to a wheelchair which a guy pulls. They meet Bianca and then they meet Ares after arguing with each other. Cool guy. Also Percy looks so free and proud of himself when he’s on the back of the motorcycle “I mean, look at where I am!” He’s so PROUD holy shit. Also they all put one foot forward during the different lines god the Choreography so fucking cute dear lord. Anyway they’re going and going and they meet Bianca who’s got braids and then they move on!!! I love them! I’m proud. They take another bus. “This time we just won’t blow it up.” They’re sitting on the bus (or train not really sure) and all asleep. Percy’s dreaming now. And Annabeth and Grover are also sleeping. Each is on a chair and it’s kind of cute tbh.

The Weirdest Dream (Reprise)

Percy’s standing there in his dream and he’s very confused. This is ‘scary” and I love that. He’s standing and listening to the these people in his dream talking. Kronos is so fucking scary they literally make him scary. His voice is so deep and spooky and fuck man. Luke’s talking to him (downward, into a pit, technically on the top of the scaffolding) and he’s in a cloak and Kronos says Percy’s name and the lights flash all sorts of colors and then he’s back in his seat. Chris does a bunch of spins until he gets back to his seat and Grover’s shaking him awake, saying he was screaming. Annabeth can’t sleep either. Everyone’s on edge. Thalia’s name was mentioned in the dream and Grover sits up straighter and says he hasn’t heard that name in awhile.

Tree on the Hill

Oh shit this was so emotional. So Grover explains that he didn’t tell Percy this any sooner because he was afraid Percy might not want him to come. Big sad. But he starts the song and let me tell you I never felt like crying more. So Grover’s narrating this story and Percy’s listening on the train and above them, like with the main bridge, Annabeth, Luke and Thalia are slow mo acting out the details of the story until Thalia becomes a tree. Thalia is the same girl that plays Clarriese, and every other character almost omg. But when he’s explaining her turning into a tree, Annabeth and Luke stand behind Thalia and become the branches. So symbolic and so beautiful. Percy comforts Grover and then it’s the last stop.

DOA

THis song. At first I didn’t like it on the soundtrack. Skipped it. But goddamn what a bop. The sparkly dress, the funky tunes, the control of all of the kids so they all dance together. Also dying in a really big bathtub. Yeah. Real. The way they did the elevator with the lights moving in the background was actually super convincing and I Loved that. The dress sparkles all over and all the other background people are in cloaks are dancing too, including James who makes this beautiful jump I love it so much. But they’re all scared and cornered against the light and then have to reconvene together. They all get up from the ground frazzled and then Percy’s shoes start doing something weird. His feet start flying away from him and he’s confused and freaking out and all of a sudden they’re in front of the pit. Oh god the pit was so cool. I thought the feet were shaking and it’s so cool and and the pit literally looks like a pit. I know they’re looking into a light but it’s so scary! The shoes go down into the pit and the tartar sauce joke is made. I love this. SO scary. AND BOLT REVEAL. The line that Percy’s says “betrayed by a friend’ that accuses Annabeth after she pulls the bolt from his bag. I gasped. And then Hades comes around and he’s in a sparkly jacket and says he’ll have his friends and his mom back if he gives him the bolt and then gives them a chance to decide. Everyone walks off stage and he stands there and debates.

Son of Poseidon

Percy’s mom comes out and tells him that what belongs to the sea can always return. She does a little loop around him and he spins in a circle and follows her for a moment. He starts singing and GOD CHRIS. He’s realizing that he has the shell and all that. He blows the conch and a blue light shines on the right side of the stage, the PORTAL. They jump through the portal and they’re all excited that they survived. Standing on the beach and Percy pulled new shoes out and starts putting them on. He tells them that they’re his two best friends and he hugs them close and fuck man the original trio feels. They summon Ares. Ares comes out and he’s fucking ripped and got a pipe. A literal pipe. They start fighting and it looks like they’re losing, Annabeth lost her dagger (which was strapped to her thigh goddamn) and Grover’s down, Percy’s lost his sword. “Percy get to the ocean” He runs to the stage, Kristin and Jorrel run backstage and deliver the blowers with TP. “How about a lot of it!”He yelled and theres the music and he’s relishing the moment, Chris is just giving it his fucking all and there’s a lot going on and I just.. Was amazed beautiful. Great work cast. Ares is washed away and then Percy says: “You can escort us, back to camp.” They’re escorted back.

Last Day of Summer

Percy is standing there and he’s stunned essentially. What does he do now? He gets a letter from his mom with her newest sculpture and that she’s going to school. Annabeth passes him and talks to him about going home and she calls him Seaweed Brain. He and Luke battle when he accuses Luke of being the lightning thief. Luke fucking says yes right and then STABS HIM after trying to convince Annabeth to pick the right side (his side) and she disarms him but he takes a knife and stabs Percy. He runs away, Percy’s on the ground, Annabeth’s at his side and holding him. She’s giving him emergency ambrosia as he’s dying and he looks like he’s gone but then he comes back. She says Seaweed Brain and he says Wise girl and hugs him to her and SHIT man.

Bring on the Monsters

Percy motivates the camp. Tells them it’s real, shits getting real and they need to get ready. He’s got his sword and his fresh stab wound and he motivates them to get going, all of them sing and then Chris does his beautiful solo thing and stands in front with his sword and they’re all singing in the background. When he maintains his line on the bottom people are passing back and forth around him and touching his shoulder as they pass him and he yells excitedly back next summer at one point. And they all stand together in the back and the spotlight hits him as he says he’ll be back next summer and the guitar ends. damn.

The curtains come up and they’re all there taking bows and I love them. Main points: these boys flexible, they’re all doing kicks and all sorts of shit like that, jumping up and down and dancing as well as singing, I’m very impressed. also Chris plays Percy so well. He’s got all the things that were in my head for Percy for all the quirks and ADHD and UGH I love that. Kristin rocked my fucking world and Jorrel played every character so cleanly and had such great vocals. I love them. I love them all. The end.

If you made it to the end of this fucking long ass post send me an ask or a message bc I’m proud of you and you deserve a reward 

#julz talks #tlt musical #I am very emotional and in love with every single on of them #also... I wrote this right after the show so I was just FEELING my dudes

[g00dberry]

this is me asking about your campaign

Anon, I am so fucking glad that you asked. Alight kiddies strap yourselves in and get ready to hear the story of Fortune’s Favor cause this is the hyper-fixation to end all hyper-fixations for me right now. (BTW, all art for the party members was done by @Tallinier on Twitter! She’s amazing and you all should go check her out right now!). Anyways:

See that? That’s Ar’De. The main continent that our D&D campaign takes place on. You might have noticed that huge white sprawl right in the middle there. That’s called The Conflict Zone. That also happens to be the name of our campaign itself, The Conflict Zone.

The Conflict Zone is an area of the continent that has existed since the dawn of recorded history. It has always contained things that do not make sense and is home to creatures not of the material plane. The topography of it is constantly shifting, changing, re-arranging. It is impossible to map out. Portals to thousands of other realms are constantly opening and closing within its borders, and creatures from these other realms have recently begun to take notice of these portals in larger numbers. The Orcs, Humans, Elves, and Dwarves have all made a pact to do their best to contain this threat on their shared borders, but something is happening... While the shared governments are trying to keep it under wraps, The Conflict Zone is expanding. More and more things are coming through those portals, and those who live closest to it have been facing grave dangers and strange occurrences more and more lately.

However, our story doesn’t begin with The Conflict Zone. It actually begins with a man. A man known only as Gaust. 20 years before the events of this campaign, a powerful man known as Gaust led a violent uprising centered in the human country of Empiria that killed many people. Gaust himself supposedly had powers that were evil and astounding. On top of his own abilities, he had the power to give other people arcane abilities. It was said that his mere presence was enough to make those around him just as bad as he was. However, nobody really knows for sure, as nobody ever claimed to have truly met the man in person. That is, until the current king of Empiria, Ryborn Hauzer -

(That guy) - slayed Gaust himself, and put an end to his 5 year reign of terror. Things were pretty okay for 20 years after that, and that’s where our heroes meet each other.

Why don’t we get to know our heroes? They’ve recently started to garner a reputation for themselves, and have decided to call their little group Fortune’s Favor (It’s a miracle none of us are dead yet, so we’ve gotta be somewhat lucky, right? Right?). They weren’t always a recognizable group of heroes though. In fact, they started out sleeping in the haymow of some guy’s barn, just outside the human capital of Union. With only a few coins to their name and a shared goal of joining the legendary Pathfinder’s Guild for various reasons, they decided to team up to try and earn some coin together, attempting to get past the nasty 500 GP application fee to even try out for the Pathfinders.

But enough about that, why don’t we finally talk about these lovable losers?

First up is Sarrali Farseer, a Tiefling Hunter Ranger 5 / Wild Magic Sorcerer 2:

Sarrali found herself designated as the leader of the group rather quickly which was really concerning for her (especially considering that she’s the youngest at the ripe age of 21!). She’s never seen herself as much of a people person. She grew up on the rugged streets of Vandis, Empiria’s military capital in the harsh North. With her human mother in mental institutions, her father completely unknown, and a childhood full of horribly unfortunate mishaps and distrust from others due to her Tiefling blood, Sarrali grew used to the idea that her father might actually have somehow been the god of shadow, twilight, misfortune, and chaos - Vayn. After deciding to ditch civilization entirely at the ripe age of 16 with only a pewter charm of a bird in flight left by her mother to her name, Sarrali fled South to the Northern forests of Empiria with no idea how to survive on her own. She was found and taken in by an old human bounty hunter, Mordecai Swift, who taught her everything he could before he met his untimely demise at the hands of some slaver pirates when Sarrali was 18. Out for vengeance, Sarrali made the unwise decision to try and take on an entire camp of slavers on her own after finding her master’s decapitated head not too far outside the camp. She managed to take down 7 of them all on her own before she was captured. She spent a horrific month in a Port Des’Sali warehouse run by the cruel leader of the slaver pirates, a wretched dragonborn named Bodac the Blue. Sarrali survived many horrible things, including torture and receiving a mysterious brand on her right shoulder blade before she and all of the other slaves were freed when a mysterious man entered the warehouse one day, the right half of his body glowing with red flames. He proceeded to torch the place, ripping Bodac’s head clear off his body, and burning right through the cages holding the slaves. Sarrali ran away from the others and spent the next 3 years working for a morally decent smuggling ring in Port Des’Sali, recovering and steeling herself for the future. She had heard that some people believed the gods themselves might reside within The Conflict Zone, and she finally wanted to confront Vayn. Unfortunately for her, the only ones allowed within The Conflict Zone were high ranking Pathfinder guild members and other decorated soldiers. So, she had no choice but to arm herself with her master’s hunting knife, her trusty bow, and head out to Union to achieve her goals. 6 months down the line and things are going arguably well for Sarrali. She’s got people who care about whether she gets out alive at the end of the day, she’s started learning some ritual magic (including how to cast Find Familiar). She returned to her supposed birthplace, a mountain town named Overlook, in search of her mother and discovered that she has an older sister, a tiefling named Brandia.

She also discovered that she was apparently human when she was born, as was her older sister. She learned that her father apparently wasn’t Vayn, but instead a human man known as Jaxon Farseer. Someone who’s family line is millenia old. Full of heroes, legendary dragon riders, and masterful archers. Her father disappeared shortly after her birth, and her mother apparently made a deal with a tall dark man who appeared in her dreams, allowing him to give her and her children his “blessing” to ensure that Jaxon would one day be rescued. Her mother accepted, and was immediately cast into madness as her daughters were changed in ways she couldn’t imagine. Odd, Sarrali’s been seeing a tall dark man in her dreams as well recently. In fact, he keeps telling her she’ll be the one to end the world someday, and he gifted her the use of Wild Magic... Hm.

Next up is Teael of house Arren, a Half-Elf Grassland Druid 5 / Hexblade Warlock 2:

Teael is the bastard daughter of Chancellor Arren, a noble High Elf who lives down river from the Spring of Len. Teael Is an incredibly caring person, though her childhood was very lonely. Her step mother was kind, teaching her druidic magic like any of her other children, but her step sister was cruel to her and her father was rather indifferent, refusing to tell Teael anything about her birth mother. Tired of spending her life being ignored and mistreated in what was essentially a gilded cage, Teael fled her father’s estate and headed North with something to prove. Through fate or misfortune, she ended up at the same barn as Sarrali and decided to stick close to the rugged tiefling girl who seemed to know her way around a weapon a little better than she herself did. 

6 months later and 24 year old Teael has sort of adopted Sarali as the little sister she never had. The two get along well and care for each other in ways they haven’t really had the chance to experience before. Teael finally has someone who will stand up for her, and Sarrali has someone who cares about how she’s really doing. Someone who wants to help her through the trauma she’s endured. Someone who cares. One of Teael’s main points of interest is that she somehow possesses the ability to summon 2 familiars at once. A grumpy large blue gecko named Nigel and a posh white Weasel named Eloise. On a rather.... improvised trip to the Shadowfell, Teael recovered the mangled body of a Drow servant who called her Lady Velodora (which also happens to be the name of the Goddess of Darkness, Death, Sleep, and the Moon... She’s also one of Vayn’s twin sisters!). After escaping the Shadowfell, Teael paid a good amount of money to have her new friend attended to by a revolutionary doctor and a high level cleric. The Drow has made a decent recovery, but is suffering from horrible amnesia. So, Teael gave him the name Vega. 

He later proved himself to be a rather accomplished wizard. He lives on a plot of land owned by Teael now, and he restored a broken down wizard tower there. His favorite pastimes include listening to Teael sing for him, reading, and studying new arcane affects. He isn’t the only friend Teael’s made recently though. On a mission into Orc territory, Teael recovered a strange black rod. After a dream that the party still doesn’t really know all the details of, Teael’s got a wicked looking new quarterstaff, and seems to have made some sort of deal with a woman (entity?) named Ebony. Before we set off on our latest adventure, Teael wrote to her father for the first time since leaving his estate to boast about how fine she’s doing on her own, and is eagerly waiting to hear back from him. She’s also a complete bi-sexual disaster, but the party loves her anyways. Oh, and one last thing. She also learned that if people found out who her mother was, she’d supposedly be killed on the spot. So that’s fun!

Third up is Rhak,  a Dragonborn Bear-Totem Barbarian 5 / Champion Fighter 2:

Teael and Sarrali met up with Rhak once they were already knee deep in a mission back in Union. They needed some extra muscle, and just happened to see a very stocky dragonborn writing something down in a book and petting a small kitten on their way into the sewers. His common wasn’t that good, but he seemed so happy that someone had offered him work without being mean that he decided to protect his new friends on the spot. He’s been with the group ever since. Rhak was the runt of his litter back in the Dragonborn territory of The Free Isles. Though he still exemplified the traits that the Platinum Dragon, Bahamut, tried to preach. Rhak had never really been one to turn to violence. He preferred to read and try talking through his issues with others. Unfortunately for him that meant that he was bullied mercilessly as a child. Though the kindness of a half elf woman named Lucia, a sorceress in the Free Isles seeking the wisdoms of the Platinum Dragon, inspired him to stick to his own ideals. One day, when he saw some bullies picking on a much younger runt, he accidentally let his anger get the better of him and ended up killing one of the bullies. Thus, he was exiled from his homeland at the age of 15. Forced to wander parts of the world that he was tragically unfamiliar with, places where he was seen as an oddity, and forced to live a cripplingly lonely life. Lucky for both him and us, we found each other though, and he’s finally got true friends that care deeply for him.

Though he had to leave his lovely kitten friend Steve at an orphanage in Union before we set out on a larger adventure, Rhak is going strong today. He has a bear spirit named Ursula that gives him the strength to protect his friends and keep pushing forward. After an untimely demise in the stomach of a Rhemorahz, Rahk was saved by a very close Revivify and brought back. Though, not before he got to have a nice chat with Bahamut himself. Bahamut explained to Rhak that he was Silver Prime, and that he needed to help usher in the era of The New King if the world was to be saved from calamity. We were already carrying a dragon egg with us (taken from a bunch of kobolds months ago in some old mine). But after breaking open an artifact from the Shadowfell, the egg was transformed. After reaching Sarrali’s hometown of Overlook, we learned that it was home to The Roost. The former breeding ground of Empiria’s human-allied dragons. However, The Roost had been destroyed years ago in Gaust’s uprising, and the only dragon left there now was a Silver Dragon named Orphyrah. She gave Rhak her blessing, explaining that she needed to sacrifice herself if he was supposed to reach his true potential as silver prime. She breathed all of her life essence into a single scale necklace, which Rhak now wears and can use to call upon her spirit in times of need. While at The Roost, we were able to hatch the new king of the dragons, a platinum hatchling named Justifax. Rhak has been tasked with protecting him and uniting the other primes, and he seems to be taking that duty very seriously. Only time will tell how Rhak’s destiny affects the fate of the world...

Last but certainly not least, we have Theren Greybend. A Human Knowledge Cleric 7:

Theren is the newest member of our group. We quite literally ran into him while fighting for our lives in the North recently, while on our way to Sarrali’s birthplace. Theren is a cleric of Magus, the God of Magic, Knowledge, and Secrets. The rest of the party doesn’t know too much about him yet, but we were in desperate need of a healer, and he got to witness the hatching of a new Dragon king with us, so he’s kind of stuck with us at the moment. Theren is a huge book nerd. He craves learning about any and all strange anomalies, and agreed to travel with the party on the pretense that we seem to run into stuff involving The Conflict Zone (his research specialty) a lot. We’ve basically become his latest research project, but that’s alright. He seems nice enough, and wants to help in any way that he can. Theren recently revealed that he possesses the odd ability to connect telepathically with a willing creature once a day, but who knows what else this guy can do? As far as we can tell, Theren is from one of the Western parts of Empiria, rather close to The Conflict Zone itself. 

Now finally, you might be wondering: Alright, but how did all that crazy stuff start?

Well, the intro arc was far too long to append on to this post, but let’s just say that in an unfortunate mix up involving Dynamite, Sewer Zombies, and a Burning Lighthouse. Our rag tag group was pinned as prime suspects, and then later were offered a deal by this shady motherfucker - 

Ekkard, the right hand man to the King of Empiria. If we could investigate those three issues for him on the down low, he wouldn’t just waive our Pathfinder application fee, he would ensure that we were accepted, and would become one of the King’s personally invested in teams. Of course, he didn’t give us much of a choice, since he told us we had a month to figure it out or face exile from Union as a cautionary action. 

So, on the job to clear our names and earn our stripes, we faced down more zombies, a flesh golem, an assassin, terrorist threats, bandits, exploding zombies, a re-kindled uprising of Gaust, and finally a huge bone serpent to save the city of Union and earn our freedom. 

Long story short - we succeed, and thus, Fortune’s Favor was born.

-I’m always down to talk about this campaign, so if anyone has any other questions, please don’t hesitate to send them.

@icarus-undying (Teael’s Player)

#dnd #d&d #DnD 5e #dungeons & dragons #Dungeons and Dragons

[talistheintrovert]

i feel like im the only one that thinks neither clarke or spacekru was in the right last season?? there were no good choices. both clarke and spacekru need to apologize to each other. clarke made some shitty decisions to save her child. they made shitty decisions (involving her child) to save everyone. this was the season of shitty decisions lmao.

I had a hard time working out how to respond to this ask, because on the one hand, I agree with you - the whole point of this show is that nothing is ever black and white, there is never any ultimate right or wrong, it’s all shades of grey - but on the other hand I still think Clarke is morally more in the right that the others. 

I should explain.

This difference between those two factions of shitty decision making is CONTEXT. Without context, it’s very easy to disregard their motives and circumstances and say that both were in the wrong. I’m going to use a super basic analogy here. 97% of scientists believe that climate change is real. When people debate it, they usually have one scientist who believes and one that does not, in order to make it “even”. Without context, that seems perfectly fair. However, in order to make the debate actually even, you would need 97 scientists on the side of climate change and only 3 opposing. It’s the CONTEXT that is important to the debate. 

In order for spacekru and Clarke to be both equally in the wrong, their situations would have to be the same. And they are very much NOT. From Clarke’s perspective - because Bellamy didn’t want to kill his sister, Clarke tried to find another way to stop her; she compromised even though she knew there was an easier way to solve the problem. Then she was captured. The last thing she said to Bellamy before she was captured was, “Keep Madi safe - promise me!” and he did. The next time she saw him, they reaffirmed that they were in this T O G E T H E R and she trusted him to make things right. At this point, Clarke didn’t expect to live, she just wanted Madi to be okay, and she trusted Bellamy to take care of her. THEN the next time she sees Bellamy, he tells her that he’s putting the flame in Madi. Clarke’s one and only person for six years, her daughter, the person she entrusted Bellamy to, a C H I L D. My dude. My guy. My pal. This is betrayal at its RAWEST level. This isn’t Clarke staying at Polis to keep an eye on Lexa, this is using a CHILD to overthrow a cult army. Those are drastically different things. So when Clarke took Madi and ran, she was well within her rights to do so. She a) had no guarantee that if they stayed, they would live, b) probably hoped Octavia would show mercy on her own brother and c) had just been betrayed by someone she loved. And then when she got to the camp, the only reason she helped McCreary was to keep her mother alive, NOT because she agreed with him or because she wanted the rest of them dead, but because she thought that the only two people she had left in the world were Madi and Abby - if she couldn’t trust Bellamy, she couldn’t trust anyone. 

Spacekru are the ones who put McCreary in charge in the first place, by overthrowing Diyoza - which, by the way, wouldn’t have happened if any of them thought to USE THE FUCKING RADIO, EVEN ONCE - but I digress. If Diyoza had remained in charge, odds are the conflict would have deescalated much sooner, and Earth would probably still be a planet instead of a husk of radioactive rock, but I digress. Bellamy made his decision to chip Madi because, “This is how we save our friends, this is how we save Clarke,” while failing to take into account the fact that Madi is a literal child. Also the fact that through the previous 4 seasons Bellamy has been vocally outspoken against grounder culture, the flame, and IN PARTICULAR child soldiers - y’know, because that’s basically what The 100 were at first; children forced into a war they were too young for - means that his choice was especially baffling, but I digress. 

Having Madi become the commander when there was no actual certainty that wonkru would follow her makes her a target for assassination not just by Octavia herself, but by any of her followers who would reject Madi’s supposed “right” to the commandership. Bellamy also made his decision after being directly told that it would mean Clarke never forgave him………… and then was somehow upset when she left?????? WOT. I’m sorry but that writing makes no sense. I can understand the rest of spacekru holding a grudge against Clarke for that, but Bellamy??? He did what he did to SAVE Clarke. He achieved his objective. Yes, she slapped him and then left, but he had ALREADY BEEN TOLD that she would never forgive him. He made his decision with all the information at his fingertips, knowing exactly what harm he was causing to Clarke and Madi, and then was somehow surprised when it backfired. 

Not to mention that Raven and Echo are, from their perspective, understandably mad with Clarke for leaving Bellamy to die, and take Bellamy’s side. Which, with the information they have, makes perfect sense. What still doesn’t make sense, however, is then choosing to kidnap Madi and take her to an active warzone. For all they know, at this point, Madi being the commander is well past its usefulness - the two armies are already marching towards each other, the war is inevitable, the die has been cast. And yet they attempt to take Madi anyway. 

,,,,,,why?

Spacekru as a concept bothered me in these scenes because the “family” thing seemed to be used as a reason why they were in the right - Bellamy wouldn’t kill Octavia because she’s his family, he wanted to give Madi the flame to save his family, Raven and Echo justified their actions in the valley because of their family. But why is their “family” more important than Clarke’s? Because there are more of them? Because they have six years of history together that we didn’t see?

 They have an entire “family” of people to back each other up. Not to mention (and I’m about to get very morbid here, so I apologise) if one member of spacekru dies, they still have the rest of their “family” to help each other get through it. If Madi dies, all Clarke has left is her mother, (and Bellamy, or at least she hoped so). Clarke hasn’t had that six years with a support network. She doesn’t have anyone else on her side. She’s alone, she’s scared, and she’s heartbroken, and spacekru doesn’t have that problem.

Both sides being in the wrong makes sense on paper, but when you take into account both sides motivations and where they came from in regards to those decisions, and with how they were executed, it just doesn’t hold up. Clarke was entirely alone and her entire life was completely upheaved and then her best friend fucked her over and his “family” all took his side without question, despite supposedly loving, or at least liking, Clarke. I’m sorry, but… those two things don’t even remotely compare.

#the 100 #the 100 discourse #the 100 meta #clarke griffin meta #spacekru meta #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #anti spacekru #just in case #i feel like this opinion may ruffle some feathers #long post #discourse #meta #talis rambles

[asherlockstudy]

Well, the Valonqar prophecy was fulfilled though

Poor me trying to explain all the fuckery that was Jaime’s scenes

Hear me out. But before you do, disclaimer! everything I will say here is 99% the result of shitty writing that incidentally can be read as something “more”. Believe me, I have no faith in the next episode. In fact, I am kind of...jolly because the treatment of most characters was so bad I ended up finding it entertaining. However, there are some things regarding Jaime’s scenes that I couldn’t avoid considering so I’m going to write them down even if it’s for nothing. Which it almost certainly is. 

Sooooo...the worst case scenario was the real one as it usually happens in this shitty world. Jaime Lannister bids his farewell to his character arc of 7,5 seasons and rides back to King’s Landing to die with Cersei. 

There are some curious nuances to that general assumption here, one of them being that the way Jaime essentially breaks up with Brienne in the previous episode was so ambiguous that half the viewers, even some who didn’t care for the relationship of these two, were convinced Jaime was planning to kill Cersei and didn’t want Brienne to follow.Then again, this ambiguity might have been intentional by our brilliant writers - who will Jaime choose in the end?

So let’s talk about the last encounter of the Lannister brothers. Let me tell you, A LOT of weird things happen in that scene. 

First: According to the Unsullied, Daenerys was not the one who commanded them to guard Jaime. Someone else that we never got to know gave the order and Tyrion makes the mistake to not ask their identity. When Tyrion asks “was it the Queen”, the soldier laconically answers “No” and I wonder if there’s some certain weight hiding in that withdrawn piece of information. The Unsullied could have simply said “Greyworm’s orders” or something like that. Hmmm. Then again, it could be that D&D felt they were giving Tyrion a clever line about outranking there (lol). Or, if we are very, very, very hopeful, someone that outranks Tyrion in ways we don’t yet know wanted Jaime guarded out of Tyrion’s reach. And that someone wasn’t Daenerys. 

Second: Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised by now but in the very first seconds we have another proof that Jaime is stupid™. He just decided to walk around or through Dany’s camp flashing the gold hand left and right. When Tyrion asks him why on earth he didn’t hide it, Jaime, also somewhat laconically, says it was because he was stupid. In the last season, we saw that Jaime had the common sense to hide his hand before heading for the North. So, is Jaime’s low IQ dropped even more here, reaching abysmal depths, or did he think he shouldn’t have anything to fear if he walked through Dany and Jon’s lines as Jaime Lannister? 

Third: Well, watch the scene. Jaime is actually not only fed up with the whole chaos but he’s also reluctant to help Cersei, at least in the way Tyrion instructs him to. Look at their dialogue: 

Tyrion: You’re going to her. To die with her.

Jaime: You’ve underestimated her before.  (Soooo he was going there to live with her? In the middle of that utter destruction? It seems Jaime believed Sansa’s words about Cersei’s victory more than Tyrion’s. Jaime deflects Tyrion’s observation here.)

Tyrion: She’s going to die. Unless you can convince her to change her course of action. 

 Jaime: Difficult to do from here. (Excuse)

Tyrion shows the key to his chains.

Jaime: Ooooh, when have I ever been able to convince Cersei of anything? (Is it me or is he actually fighting it?!)

Tyrion: Try. If not for yourself, if not for her, then for everyone of the million people in that city, innocent or otherwise. (Tyrion knows all the things that motivated Jaime once.)

Jaime: To be honest, I never really cared much for them. Innocent or otherwise. (There, fellows, you heard it. Jaime Lannister just said he doesn’t care for the innocents. Whom he decided to protect from a mad king 20 years ago and from 100000 zombies a few days ago. I promised to fight for the living, he said. With. one. hand. Either D&D are fucking delusional or Jaime is really fighting against his brother’s proposition to help their sister. To the point of “fuck everything”.) 

Tyrion (a little taken aback): You do care for an innocent. I know you do. So does Cersei. She has a reason now. 

Jaime (after a little consideration): The child is the reason she’ll never give an inch. All the worst things she’s ever done, she’s done for her children...... It’s not impossible that she’ll win. (LOL “fuck everything including my kids... shit I overdid it here...let’s go back to the first argument because I have nothing else to say”)

Tyrion: She won’t. 

Jaime: Her enemies’ forces have been depleted as she said they would be. Two of the three dragons are dead. She’s evened the odds - 

Tyrion: The city will fall tomorrow - 

Jaime: ...she has the Lannister army, she has the gold- (”pls let me recite all the reasons why I should not help her”)

Tyrion: I defended the city the last time it was attacked, I know it better than anyone, it will fall tomorrow!

Jaime: Then I suppose I’ll die tomorrow, if not before! (”CAN YOU JUST LET ME DIE HERE IN PEACE?”) 

Tyrion: Why?! (”WTF ‘S WRONG WITH YOU?”) Escape. The two of you together. Remember where we met, where they keep the dragon skulls beneath the Red Keep (let’s not start with the dragons out of stone again), take her down there, keep following the stairway down down as far as they’ll go, you’ll come out onto a beach at the foot of the Keep but a dinghy will be waiting for you. Sail out of the bay, if the winds are kind, you’ll make it to Pentos. Start a new life. 

Jaime (weakly but sarcastically): Sail right past the Iron Fleet and into a new life...sounds a lot less likely than Cersei winning this - (Hey, you got to give it to this man, he’s still trying)

Tyrion: There won’t be an Iron Fleet for much longer! Do it! If you don’t, you’ll never see Cersei again!

Tyrion: Swear to me!

Jaime: YOU HAVE MY WORD!!!!

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Jaime just needs to give his word to someone. 

I won’t try to sugarcoat it and claim Jaime gave zero shit for Cersei but I think the reason he eventually complied was because he saw how much Tyrion wanted it. He decided to do it for Tyrion, first and foremost. Jaime only starts considering Tyrion’s proposal when his brother suggests that if he takes his pregnant sister far away from the capital, he might have a chance at a new life with a child and a hopefully mellower Cersei. Still, he tries to refuse but then it’s honestly Tyrion who forces him to care again for Cersei and also technically demands him to remember his duty as a Knight. In a way, Tyrion creates a dreamy image of Jaime making a healthy family with a sane Cersei and Jaime uneagerly succumbs to it. Again, in a way, Tyrion takes the role of the small devil in Jaime’s mind, even though he has good intentions for his sibling. 

I have many questions here. I don’t understand why Jaime decided to return (or, rather, teleport) there. He didn’t seem to have a plan or to be seriously determined to get back to Cersei. I wonder if what some fans said is true - Jaime returned because he felt he deserved to die as much as the rest of the Lannisters, without intending to help them. Why is Jaime so reluctant to follow Tyrion’s helpful plan and save Cersei and their child, if this was supposedly the reason he left Brienne? So many things don’t add up here. We have many scenes lately where Jaime looks like he has an inner fight that none of us or the other characters can truly decipher.  However, it might be something we’ve seen before - Jaime gives up easily. The moment he was captured, he thought everything was pointless and embraced the possibility of death. Like when his hand was cut and was starving himself, willing to die until Brienne talked him out of it. The other possibility is that he didn’t trust Tyrion and thought he was probably testing his allegiances but first, if he said Cersei was going to win, Dany would be mad anyway and second, Jaime is too naive to consider that his brother might set a trap for him, which is right actually. Tyrion wouldn’t do this to Jaime. The last possibility is that Jaime had a bad premonition for this and he didn’t want to do it. Whatever the reason was, Jaime originally felt he shouldn’t do it but was essentially forced to do it out of honour, duty, love for his brother and a teensy glimpse of planted hope that he and Cersei might actually have had a chance to leave the past behind. 

But I do think he’s conflicted. 

That’s the last we see of Jaime before he truly descends into his character assassination. To me, this shot shows that he is really conflicted. He doesn’t want to do what Tyrion asked him to do. But he is going to do it all the same. I don’t know why he is so negative towards it? Is it him having different plans? Different beliefs on what his and Cersei’s fate should be? Or is it instict? Instict isn’t a satisfactory answer either because he was already prepared to die and I’m quite confident that deep inside Jaime knew Tyrion was right about Cersei losing that war and dying. 

The stupidity starts when Jaime meets Euron. Euron’s like hey let’s fight for no reason and Jaime’s like got a job to do but then Euron tells him come on kill another king or if I kill you, I’ll give your head to Cersei and you can kiss her one last time so that’s the last straw for Jaime and he engages in a one handed fight he should have lost. I think this simply is terrible ridiculous writing. The screenwriters felt they were massacring Jaime’s character which is why they had Tyrion exclaim how important Jaime was for him (I can accept that) and have him take out a bad guy before he goes for the lame suicide. Of course the last one was simply a piece of crap and felt forced and unnecessary. Cripple Jaime takes a sword in the kidneys like twice, then kills Euron and then probably ascends a staircase of like 1000 steps to reach the Red Keep and then also descends them and dies from rocks instead. LMAO at that. Was it the power of love? Was the Gold Lion that Jaime always was? Was it the shittiest writing in history of a TV show? Well. I find suspicious that Euron keeps repeating Jaime managed to kill a second king though. Here’s a guess - Jaime is supposed to take another king or queen down in the books but the screenwriters had to adjust the writing for the surprise!!!! So we got that caricature of Euron, self- proclaimed a king, to die by Jaime. They could use a little kid instead with a label reading KING on his forehead. Another weird thing: “I killed Jaime Lannister!”. I wonder if this has any meaning at all because eventually Jaime commits suicide with a rock and THAT’S what happened. A sword in the kidneys? Twice? Such superficial scratches don’t get to the mighty Jaime Lannister. And I wish this was the only fuckery in this scene:

Jaime does not have Window’s Wail. He carries a plain sword. 

Definitely not this one. The plot thickens, wouldn’t you agree? I don’t know how much I can hypothesize here but if this is Jaime Jaime (honestly, I start doubting it for real) then JAIME DID NOT TAKE HIS TWIN SWORD HE HAD WITH BRIENNE IN HIS MISSION TO SAVE CERSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Something is seriously weird here. We have a pointless scene between Jaime and Euron. In this pointless scene Jaime doesn’t use his own sword (which is also connected to Brienne) and Euron says “I am the man who killed Jaime Lannister” and yet Jaime is capable of walking thousands of steps up and down and then he dies because of a completely different cause. How long would he stay alive if he didn’t die from the Red Keep’s collapse? Why was this scene needed? Is it just THAT bad writing and the need to atone for what is about to follow? Did D&D feel he needed to atone for what he was about to do?

Here’s an unpopular opinion. I don’t think Jaime needs to atone for anything. Do I like the choice he made in the end? No. Do I like the way he chose to die in the end? No. However, bear with me, D&D and Nik are right when they say that ending felt real to the character, even if he didn’t deserve it. We all expected Jaime to kill Cersei for all the abuse she did to him and all the evil she was responsible for but this ending had me thinking; since when does Jaime kill people out of spite or to take revenge or to punish? Has Jaime ever shown signs of violent fury, even if it’s justified? If I remember correctly, Jaime explicitly said he wasn’t interested in taking revenge from Locke for maiming him, although even Brienne thought this would be an understandable desire. Jaime kept protecting the people, innocent or otherwise, even though they ‘ve been loathing him for decades for saving them from the Mad King. Most of the crimes he has committed were for love (healthy or not) or protectivity or by mistake. I don’t want to include the murder of his cousin here because THIS was the most out of character thing Jaime has done and I’m willing to bet D&D wanted to make his redemption arc that started shortly after more SurPriSiNg.

So it doesn’t weird me out that as he was dying he couldn’t hold anything against his toxic sister anymore. Neither does it annoy me that Cersei was terrified and most of her arrogance had left her at that Day of Reckoning. Why did this make people so mad? It’s delusional to think that Cersei was the Big Villain. She never had anything on Joffrey or Ramsey or (book) Euron or Aerys or his nice daughter. She was a horrible woman who deserved to die, that’s for sure, but this doesn’t mean she wouldn’t want a close person back to her as they were about to die or that she wouldn’t realise before the end that some things should have mattered to her more than power. 

When Jaime meets her again, there’s no fight left inside him. He’s the old Jaime again, the one who loves her unconditionally, unlike the one we saw with Tyrion. I wonder if this has an emotional or a symbolic meaning or perhaps I am thinking too deep into this. It could be explained emotionally because Jaime knows they are both going to die and it’s pointless to oppose to her at this point. She dies, the child dies, he dies. What would be the point of choking her to death when they can die as lovers or as siblings (awkward) embracing each other. Fans forget that they had found themselves in a position where previous fights and hate did not matter anymore since they would definitely die anyway. It’s a parallel with the fight between the Hound and the Mountain who pointlessly decided to kill each other although they would 99% die anyway. The Hound and Jaime follow parallel paths in this case - they could have never returned. They could have left hate and desire for vengence or the toxic love behind and they would have lived. They both get punished for being unable to leave the past behind even in an hour like that - Hound is punished by having the death he dreaded and Jaime is punished by having all his prospects buried along with himself and the love he supposedly couldn’t shake off. There is a huge difference though - the Hound is consistent throughout his whole life about wanting revenge from his brother whereas Jaime falters and fumbles, tries to resist and it is ultimately Tyrion who convinces him to return back to Cersei irreversibly. Jaime holds Cersei tenderly, delays and then leads her beneath the Red Keep. 

Why was Arya there? What was the point of having her reach King’s Landing and enter the Red Keep only to live and survive? Maybe the point was that Cersei, who always desired to survive, if not for herself then for the elephant baby she was apparently gestating for like 2 years, might have had a chance to escape. Sure, she ‘s portrayed to be lost and helpless and as the Red Keep collapses around her, she has lost her quick thinking unlike Arya. However, there was still a chance like there was a chance for the Hound and the Mountain if they hadn’t chosen to kill each other instead. There was a small possibility for Cersei to survive. Tyrion and Jaime took that chance from her. Tyrion had the idea and Jaime executed it. Both her little brothers sealed her death. 

The prophecy was fulfilled and I am sure it was going to follow a similar path in the books. GRRM has said that prophecies are not to be trusted but I think it’s obvious he wouldn’t spend so much time in them if none of it was going to be proven right. The thing is, the prophecies will come true in ways we don’t expect. We were searching for the valonqar but there were two people in Cersei’s life who could fit that role and both had a part in the fulfillment of the prophecy, a part that felt very real for each character. Tyrion, as the clever -er Lannister, is the “mastermind” behind the plan. He tries to compensate for his stupidity upon realising that he tried to fight the evil in King’s Landing by bringing an even bigger one. Filled with guilt, he tries to atone by helping the family he had turned against, even if the family was problematic. He sends Jaime to her rescue, thinking that he helps his loving brother and his innocent child and that he asks forgiveness from his sister for destroying the entire city because of their personal vendetta. (Because whatever was wrong between the two siblings, it should not fall on the people’s heads.) On the other hand, Jaime “the soldier” is the executioner who second-guesses what he’s about to do but he does it as a Knight, out of duty for his family. He outdoes himself in order to find her and lead her to the dungeons of the Red Keep, where there’s no way out.

And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.

That happened. Cersei is desperate, truly drowned in her tears, begging Jaime to save her, supposedly for the child. Jaime looks around a bit and easily embraces their fate. He holds her there in place while she cries she wants the child to live. Jaime wraps his fingers around her neck tenderly and essentially bares her from that last reason for her to survive and tells her that nothing matters but them (who supposedly have no reason or worth to stay alive but should leave this world together instead). This is confusing -  does Jaime truly throws everything else that meant something to him in the dumpster or does he want to make Cersei’s death as sweet as possible? Trying to convince her that she shouldn’t worry about all the reasons why she should live but instead think that she dies like they always said they would - with him, together. I know many people didn’t like how good Cersei’s death was but it wasn’t a good death in my opinion - better than fire but still scary and tragic as hell. Cersei keeps lamenting “Not like this, not like this, not like this” which means she hated the way she was about to die. True enough, she dies from the castle that was the symbol of the power she yearned for so much, while a young and beautiful queen takes everything she loved from her: her crown, the child, herself and, well, her brother who she did not love healthily or selflessly but, still, loved more than anyone else besides her children, I guess. Furthermore, Cersei always wanted to die on her own terms, an opportunity that was also taken from her. She’s pregnant, so she doesn’t want to die by drinking poison and leaving this world with her pride intact. Furthermore, she is not the one who handles the situation. She becomes the follower for once in her life, trusting in Jaime who would always protect her, only to be led by him to her certain and unavoidable death. Jaime himself is the one who demands of her to accept the truth and face death. 

Of couse he dies too. I guess. This ending leaves me baffled in the sense that the Lannister brothers’ fate is now too interwined. Cersei’s death reminds me of Tywin’s - Tyrion kills Tywin because Jaime allowed it to happen in a way and now Jaime kills Cersei because Tyrion convinced him to lead her down there. At this point, both the brothers have fulfilled all the criteria for the prophecies of Azor Ahai and the Valonqar, but the one is dead and the other doesn’t strike me as a fighter sent from a god. Of course, like people and leaks say 1385 times per day, the prophecies don’t matter much, especially in the show but I just...can’t unsee it. The Valonqar was definitely fulfilled. I suspect the Three Headed Dragon one rings true too in some ways, regarding Dany, Jon and the dragons. And if somehow Jaime survives this collapse, or doesn’t, it doesn’t matter, he could be resurrected by the Lord of Light like Jon was after around 30 swords in his guts, then he won’t just survive just to be a humble worn dude living peacefully (with Brienne). If Jaime survives, that makes him Azor Ahai or makes him the King of Westeros or both. So either we’ll get nothing or everything. 

Long story short, while Jaime’s storyline has unbelievably many loose threads and I don’t hate it. I’ve decided I won’t hate him even if that was the last we saw of him. Jaime didn’t reunite with Cersei as a lover either, they reunited as twin siblings. This is my very subjective perception of it but I like to think that the baby doesn’t matter to Jaime anymore because that nature of his relationship with Cersei doesn’t matter to him anymore. But she’s still family and he still had dedicated 40 years of his life to her. He was never very clever and he has always been self-destructive and, worse, he always needed someone to urge him towards a certain direction. I want to emphasize this, which is also why I always expected certain big things from Jaime; although Jaime has a good understanding of the world and what’s right, he rarely, if ever, takes the initiative to do something on his own. He’s usually pushed by others, Cersei, Brienne, Tyrion towards a direction. This is why I always thought Jaime was guided by his destiny like there’s an invisible hand pushing him without him realising it. I’ve noticed a pretty consistent pattern about Jaime - he does not respond in critical questions that start with “Why”. 

Jaime eventually tells Catelyn he pushed Bran out of the window. She asks him why and he never responds. However, he later tells her he sleeps with Cersei so this wasn’t the reason he didn’t respond. 

Brienne asks him why he saved her from Bolton’s men. He never responds. You could argue that he starts developing feelings and can’t process them yet but this actually was the equivalent of his book “I dreamt of you” explanation after the Bear Pit. So, it was like destiny was showing him the way without him realising it. 

As we saw, Tyrion asks Jaime why he finds so many excuses against following his plan to save Cersei and himself. Jaime never responds. It’s as if this goes against his destiny and he tries to avoid it but then destiny meets him anyway beneath the Red Keep. Jaime embraces his and Cersei’s death far too easily.

And since I spoke of “unbelievably many loose threads” let me make a summary of Jaime in the 8th season for the end. 

Bran sees Jaime is heading for Winterfell and waits for him throughout the cold winter night. He doesn’t seem to have a precise picture of when exactly Jaime will arrive and he prefers to stay out there than be the one to tell the truth to Jon about his heritage. In short, Bran waits for Jaime and has an assistant to do what very soon will unleash hell in the entirety of Westeros. Jaime is vindicated in his trial or, at least, tolerated. Bran watches the trial intently and then he also watches intently Jaime looking at Brienne. Jaime apologizes to Bran which Bran almost dismisses as something he did to protect his family. Jaime however says he’s not that man anymore. He asks Bran why he didn’t blame him in the trial and Bran insinuates Jaime will prove very helpful soon (supposedly in the Long Night). Jaime asks what will happen afterwards and Bran looks (for like the first time ever) intrigued and entertained at Jaime’s certainity that he will survive. Jaime spends the rest of the days fanboying over Brienne, expressing his gratitude, knighting her and asking to fight under her command. In the battle of Winterfell, both care to save each other more than to save themselves. Sam has an inexplicable moment of pause during the battle, where he sees through the fire Jaime fighting like crazy with something that looks suspiciously like a functioning right hand. Jaime and Brienne survive the battle and Tyrion coarsely helps Jaime find the moment to get closer with her. After an awkward as hell conversation on heat, fire and wood and things growing on them, they sleep together. Meanwhile, Tyrion and Davos wonder what’s become of the Lord of Light. Jaime is later seen having an inner fight. Jaime then asks from Sansa to not take part in the war (!!!) because he prefers to stay in the ugly North with Brienne. As he’s drinking with Tyrion, Bronn somehow barges in demanding a negotiation to not kill them. As Tyrion is the cleverer and most manipulative of the two, Bronn makes clear that Jaime is the best candidate for his next murder. He agrees to let them live if Daenerys wins. Bronn then literally vanishes. Soon after, Jaime is seen roaming around a little aimlessly and Brienne and Sansa inform him Cersei is winning. The same night, after he sleeps with Brienne one last time, we see Jaime stare into the fire and eventually making the decision to leave. When Brienne wakes up, he tells her he shouldn’t be there when everyone else fights. Brienne is the one who jumps immediately to the conclusion that he’ll die trying to save Cersei. Then Jaime strokes her hand and proceeds to recite all the bad things he has done for Cersei (one being a downright lie) and leaves her heartbroken by saying he’s a hateful man. Then we see Jaime suddenly a prisoner of Daenerys. It seems Jaime was walking freely through her camp without doing much to hide his identity. He’s captured and guarded according to the commands of someone we don’t know. Jaime finds numerous excuses to avoid what Tyrion asks him to do and seems to believe Cersei is going to win instead of Daenerys. Tyrion has trouble finding arguments to persuade him and Jaime says some things that don’t make sense based on his character. Tyrion begs him to swear he will do it and Jaime finally complies. They say goodbye. Jaime’s left alone in a way that shows he still doesn’t want to do it. Next thing we see Jaime’s dumbass methods to be allowed in the Red Keep, which of course all fail. He then tries to go through the beach where Euron meets him and forces him into a fight. Jaime does not carry Window’s Wail. He kills Euron and is mortally wounded, leaving Euron happy that he killed Jaime Lannister. Despite that, Jaime ‘kinda’ forgets he’s mortally wounded and walks up and down who knows how many hundreds of steps. He finds Cersei and he’s suddenly full of love and affection all over again. He leads her down to the dragon skulls where there’s no exit anymore. He tells her nothing else ever mattered but them and holds her in place as the Red Keep collapses on their heads. The end.

Make of this what you will. Is it a mix of beautiful and terrible writing? Is it only terrible writing? Is there something we’re missing? Is there going to be a fantastic plot twist that will blow our minds? What would make sense to you at this point, after everything that happens to him in S8?

#jaime lannister #got spoilers #got season 8 #braime #pro jaime #game of thrones

[imperium-romanum]

Military Monday | Crassus’ Parthian Campaign

A Pint of History is a local history seminar series based in Hobart, which is run every third Thursday of the month. History is full of drinking. Be it alcoholic or non-, made from fruit, grain, spuds or sugar. In sorrow or celebration, glasses have been raised, from battlefields to children's parties. We continue the tradition, bringing tales of old to the pub – Shambles Brewery. Each month we set a different topic and some of Hobart's (and Tasmania’s) leading historians get ten minutes each to guide a group of amateur historians and history enthusiasts through the quirky, entertaining, and downright confusing people and events of the past. 

Last week, after being part of the team for a year, I finally presented at A Pint of History. The topic: #EpicFail. I told the tale of Marcus Licinius Crassus’ woeful journey into Parthia and, with it being Military Monday, I thought I would post my presentation. Unfortunately, I don’t have a recording of it but I hope it will be an interesting read!

~ admin @sassy-cicero-says

Although remembered for being Rome’s richest man, Marcus Licinius Crassus was also a successful politician who made his way up through the ranks to hold his first consulship in 70 BCE. He was considered by his contemporaries to be a quiet, straight-forward speaker in the law courts of the time, and as a general, he was known for his zeal and courage in the civil war of 83 and 82 BCE, and a decade later he was instrumental in suppressing the servile revolt led by Spartacus where others had failed. He was an ambitious man – he sought power, as did all leading men in Rome. It led him to form a partnership in 59 BCE, known as the first triumvirate

The triumvirate was an amicitia, an unofficial coalition between two leading politicians – Crassus and Pompeius – and a then junior politician, Caesar, whose death you may be more familiar with than his life.

Essentially, the triumvirate was a personal agreement formed so they could work towards their own political ends. Who was responsible for forming the coalition? Well, that depends on who you ask, and I’m not going to add to the debate today. The important thing is to understand what motivated Crassus to take part in this alliance.

Power in Rome was influenced by auctoritas gained in political and military pursuits, of which glōria was also an important influencing factor. Politically, Crassus’ career was typical for a man from a prominent family; there was little to distinguish him from his peers. Militarily, while he’d been instrumental in repressing the servile revolt, Pompeius stole some of his thunder by arriving at the last minute and slaughtering thousands of the adversary as they fled. And, because the victory was over slaves, it wasn’t deemed as worthy as an international conquest. Crassus saw Parthia as an opportunity, a challenge. Success would mean a triumph and recognition of his prowess as a general. It would also add to his personal prestige and wealth.

The Expedition

So, with the help of his fellow triumvirs, Crassus received Syria as his province in 55 BCE. provincia was not a geographical descriptor as we understand it today. Instead, it was a responsibility assigned to Roman officials that could be militaristic or administrative in nature. In the case of Syria, Crassus recognised the potential to open opportunities as far as Bactria, India, and the Outer Ocean but there was no mention of war with Parthia in the law which gave Crassus his command. His intent was still evident, as Plutarch tells us: “there was a considerable part who objected strongly to the idea of a man going out to make war on people who, so far from having done any harm to the Romans, were bound to them by treaties of friendship.” (Plutarch, Crassus 16)

But Parthia was in a state of civil war, making conditions ideal for intervention. Orodes, the ruler at the time of Crassus’ arrival in the east, stood undisputed, but his throne was insecure. The unrest, it was argued, represented a threat to Roman interests in the area, although analysis of the sources suggests this argument was weak at best: Parthia’s preoccupation with internal disturbances effectively prevented indulgence in international adventures. But, like Gabinius before him, Crassus used a perverted interpretation of his provincial command to attack Parthia who Cicero, our only contemporary source, numbered among the most peaceful of nations.

Indeed our sources, most of which have the advantage of hindsight, believe that Crassus’ expedition was doomed from the start. Crassus supposedly ignored every bad omen, from a violent lightning storm, to the eagle on the first standard raised facing about on its own accord. Ateius, one of the tribunes of the time, even cursed Crassus’ expedition – an event Cicero confirms in his writings.

Yet Crassus pressed on, and Parthia, despite the threat of invasion, wanted to maintain the friendly terms they’d enjoyed with Rome for some thirty years. As Plutarch tells us, ambassadors came to Crassus from Arsaces [Parthia] with a short message: “If, they said, this army had been sent out by the Roman people, then it meant war to the bitter end with no question of negotiations. But if, as they had been informed, the fact was that Crassus, for his own private profit and against the wishes of his countrymen, had invaded Parthia and occupied Parthian territory, then Arsaces was prepared to adopt a reasonable attitude: he [Orodes] would take pity on Crassus as an old man, and as for his soldiers, who were rather in the position of Crassus’ prisoners than his protectors, he would allow them to go back to Rome.” (Plutarch, Crassus 18)

Defeat

As you probably guessed by the title, Crassus’ expedition did not fare well. According to tradition, he made three major mistakes which contributed to his downfall.  First, after crossing into Mesopotamia in 54 BCE:

He failed to follow through with an assault on Seleucia and Ctesiphon, despite successfully capturing one city and receiving the surrender of several others. 

He instead chose to withdraw to Syria for the winter:

This gave the Parthians time to prepare for his impending attack. Crassus also ignored the King of Armenia’s advice to march through Armenia where he would be well supplied and could march in safety, protected by the mountains and country generally unsuited to cavalry operations: 

Instead, Crassus listened to the advice of a treacherous pretend ally and abandoned the Euphrates river – his supply line. He then marched across the arid plains of central Mesopotamia to meet the Surena, the Parthian General, and his army: 

Although Crassus’ army boasted seven infantry legions plus four thousand auxiliary cavalry and light-armed troops (outnumbering Parthia’s army) they were ill-prepared to face the all-cavalry force of the Parthians. The combination of cataphracts – heavy-armed cavalry – and mounted archers proved unstoppable. When the two forces met at a location near Carrhae, the Parthian cataphracts and mounted archers overpowered Crassus’ mainly infantry force.

Crassus, fearing he would be entirely surrounded, sent a message to his son asking him to join the battle. Publius, with 1,300 cavalry, 500 archers, and 8 cohorts from the infantry led them forward. Upon seeing the advance, the Parthians who were trying to encircle Crassus turned back, drawing Publius away from his father.

Crassus received news of his son’s dire situation, but before he and his remaining forces could reach Publius, Parthian men came carrying the head of Publius fixed on a spear – it was this sight, Plutarch tells us, that “broke the spirit and paralysed the energies of the Romans.” (Plutarch, Crassus 26)

At nightfall, they withdrew to bury their dead and tend to the wounded and dying.

Following the battle, the Surena approached Crassus, who had taken refuge on a hill. He came in person to offer a truce. He said, Plutarch tells us, “that from now on a state of peace existed between King Hyrodes and the Romans; it was necessary, however, to go forward as far as the river [Euphrates] and have the terms of agreement put into writing. ‘We find,’ he added, ‘that you Romans have not got very good memories about the terms of treaties.’” (Plutarch, Crassus 31). Once Crassus came down from his position, however, a brawl broke out between the groups, and a Parthian killed Crassus. The Surena then took his head and hand as he lay on the ground, sending it to Hyrodes.

So, to put it shortly. Ouch.

Crassus’ defeat remained a great source of shame and humiliation for the Romans centuries later, and Romans agreed that the great blow to their prestige and power could only be avenged by a successful war, an attitude which influenced Roman policy towards Parthia for decades. Crassus’ loss was truly a Roman #EpicFail.

To finish off, and perhaps lighten the mood, here’s a quick summary of Crassus’ misadventure: 

Select Bibliography: 

Cassius Dio, Roman History. Translated by Earnest Cary. 1914. London: William Heinemann.

Cicero, De Divinatione. Translated by William Armistead Falconer. 1932. Cambridge MA: Harvard UP.

Plutarch, Life of Crassus. Translated by Rex Warner. 2005. London: Penguin Books Ltd.

Keaveney, A. 1982. “The King and the War-Lords: Romano-Parthian Relations Circa 64-53 B.C.” The American Journal of Philology 103.4: 412-428.

Mattern-Parkes, S. P. 2003. “The Defeat of Crassus and the Just War.” The Classical World 96.4: 387-396.

Simpson, A. D. 1938. “The Departure of Crassus for Parthia.” Transactions and Proceedings of the American Philological Association 69: 532-541.

Further reading:

Marshall, B. A. 1976. Crassus: A Political Biography. Amsterdam: Adolf M. Hakkert.

Ward, A. M. 1977. Marcus Crassus and the Late Roman Republic. Columbia: University of Missouri Press.

#classics #tagamemnon #tagitus #military monday #militarymonday #theme #daily theme #crassus #marcus licinius crassus #rome #ancient rome #roman republic #republic #late republic #roman history #history #ancient history #ancient roman history #a pint of history #presentation #my presentation #my work #sassy's scholarship #meme #classics meme #powerpoint #slides #images #parthia #crassus' parthian campaign

[kihocrystal]

Spring 2018 - Final Impressions

Sorry this post is so late (again)! I had a *really* busy July, which really didn’t help at all. But anyway, here’s my thoughts on the shows that I finished this past season! All but one are sequels, though (and the one non-sequel was a carryover from last season)... Don’t worry, I’ll watch stuff like Megalobox and Hinamatsuri eventually! :’D

All “reviews” are listed in alphabetical order!

Amanchu! Advance - 8.0 / 10 (B-)

I liked season 2 as a whole! (Except for one episode / thing…)

QUEERBAITING SUCKS

I dunno if this is the fault of the anime or the source material…

…but this is still the most blatant example I’ve ever watched >_>

episode 11 didn’t need to happen!!! Why couldn’t Kokoro just… be a girl

or y’know, just let Pikari and Teko continue to “love” each other as they have! OTL

maybe why it annoyed me so much is that it’s like… a total bait & switch that went on for 2 SEASONS

to be fair, the reveal kinda went over my head? But when r/anime pointed it out, that’s when the salt began :/

yet the finale still has them blushing over reading thank you notes? It’s like this show wants its cake & eat it too

at the end of the day, the Kokoro stuff just… got in the way of Teko & Pikari’s interactions, platonic or not >_>

Also I’m one of the few people who actually liked the Peter arc

and it gave Ai some spotlight time!!!

it’s nice to have a little story arc to change things up (as opposed to an episodic structure)

(though I understand why many didn’t care for it… it leans a lot more towards supernatural than usual)

IMO they at least gave precedent w/ that one lucid dreaming episode w/ Teko, though

AND THERE’S ACTUAL SCUBA DIVING THIS TIME \o/

the underwater moments can be very magical… definitely the visual highlight

And the cast of characters is still enjoyable to watch too~ (def. a good group dynamic there)

Kokoro is considered a polarizing character for sure

I didn’t mind him that much until, y’know… his gender reveal led to the queer-baiting thing >_>

The finale was really nice though! It had pretty diving scenes and had cute Teko & Pikari moments~

In any case, this is still a very relaxing and heartwarming anime~

It has all the things I enjoyed about S1 here; it’s just the things added on top were a mixed-bag

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card - 8.0 / 10 (B)

EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW IS BEING VAGUE AS SHIT

But at least the mystery is interesting!

It’s just too bad it took like… 20 episodes to start getting any kind of explanation :’)

I actually watched the original series through a r/anime rewatch at the end of last year!

(meaning there wasn’t much time for me going from that series to this sequel)

I enjoyed the callbacks to the original series as well!

(including going from *anime* canon! i.e. the 2nd movie actually being canon)

The visuals look nice! Even though it almost looks a bit… *too* rounded in comparison to the original

I enjoyed watching Sakura capture all the new cards in different ways~

Even though this season was VERY light on plot (mostly), this aspect provided the action~

Also I enjoyed watching the character interactions too ^^

But yeah… the lack of overarching plot development and VAGUENESS kinda holds this season back

that being said, the final episodes set up some potentially interesting developments to come

and the finale itself *definitely* was not a conclusive one, so S2 better be confirmed soon!

Overall, I still enjoyed this continuation for the things it did right! I’ll be looking forward to a S2~

Darling in the FranXX - 8.0 / 10 (B)

Well this is/was a… polarizing show, to say the least.

I enjoyed it overall, but certain things about it hold it back from a higher score for me.

There’s two main elephants in the room with this series, really

#1 is… the heteronormativity

this was basically from the get-go, and in the roots of the story / themes itself

since the themes revolve around male/female partnerships & the importance of that… Yeah

one of the core quotes being “a female and a male aren’t complete w/o the other” …Yeah, again

also the sex-like positions of the “stamen” and “pistil” while piloting also doesn’t help

the workings of this world’s society has hetero relationships as the standard and doesn’t really allow for other options

(i.e. the FranXX piloting, Ikuno’s female attraction not working out in both operating the mech & her feelings for Ichigo, etc.)

at least Ikuno and Ichigo got a scene to talk about their attraction feelings & make up somewhat ^^

plus the Nines are basically gender non-binary but are seen as antagonistic forces for most of the show… Yeah

and just basic hetero things (like sex & pregnancy) were like being attacked in this show (when it’s not in real life???)

there’s an image meme that’s like “no, Prime Minister Abe… this will not get people to have babies” (…agreed :’D)

sure, there are *many* ways you can interpret this show, but the fact that so many people have seen it as such is Not Good

#2 is… the show supposedly “jumping the shark” towards the end

the main culprit of this (for many people) seems to be the “suddenly aliens!” reveal in episode ~20

this didn’t really impact my enjoyment of the show at all, but I definitely understand why people would be disappointed

in a way, it does kinda shift the story away from the themes it was using prior to this…

perhaps the lack of foreshadowing was another reason the shift in plot didn’t go well

plus it tends to directly riff off of certain visual cues from other mecha (like Eva & Gurren Lagaan)

Those two main gripes aside, the directing & visuals in this show were what kept me interested throughout

music choices, visual choices, etc. just really made certain moments better than they probably should’ve been

I enjoyed the characters as a group as well (even if most of them individually weren’t anything to write home about)

Goro’s a good bro, Ichigo went through good development, Kokoro & Mitsuru developed as a good pair…

Futoshi ended up being kind of a fat joke to the end though (& it was interesting that him & Kokoro didn’t end up together)

of course, Zero Two is the one everyone loved (& I liked her & Hiro’s dynamic as well)

sure, some people felt like she had “no personality” after she realized the truth about Hiro, but I didn’t mind the change

Plus I like that this show had a… pretty good ending, actually! (All things considered)

Directing as always was on point, and we got to see everyone’s lives over time (& Hiro + Zero Two eventually re-uniting as kids)

I just wish the main group got to see the two of them again :’)

though I do wish VIRM actually got full-on destroyed instead of a “we might come back” ending :/

and the ending was also kinda like “oh yeah, all the Children sent away didn’t actually die!” ???

This show will likely have a legacy not unlike Guilty Crown going forward, but I thought it ended better than that show, for the record

But yeah, this show is far from perfect and has questionable themes. But I still enjoyed it over all for the things it did well~’

Nanatsu no Taizai S2 - 8.0 / 10 (B-)

Unfortunately, not as good as S1 (but I still enjoyed this season overall)

S1 felt like its own self-contained story, but this season is clearly a “Part 1” for things to come

I wish Diana had more to do this season… she lost her memory early on and STILL doesn’t have it back

she was out of the main conflict (& separated from the group) for most of it :/

she also had these WEIRD ANGLES & POSES all the time… the fan service w/ her was *Really* distracting

the only consolation is that we got to learn some backstory for her & meet her fellow giants

oh well, at least she’s met up with King again and is enjoying his company by the end :)

The Gowther twist is interesting, but the way they revealed it was kinda… underwhelming

plus that *also* hasn’t been resolved yet (like many other things this season)

Some good moments this season were centered around Ban

such as his relationship w/ Jericho, time w/ a resurrected Elaine, and the small arc w/ his foster dad :’)

Also the final Sin got introduced w/ Escanor! PRAISE THE SUN

he’s a fun character; skittish by night and INVINCIBLE by day

The addition of power levels was kinda weird

it wasn’t necessary in S1, so why add it now???

The training arc gave us a full flashback to Melodias’ past w/ losing Liza, which was nice (and sad ;~; )

plus the vs. 10 Commandments fight actually showed Melodias full-on dying? That doesn’t happen much

it was a brutal death too! Hard to watch ;~;

plus they even changed the OP animation to reflect that he died… now that’s commitment

of course he came back later on, but there’s a catch… (since he loses some emotions every time)

There were some good fights, mostly during the “tournament” arc

(especially Melodias vs. all commandments… a sakuga highlight for sure)

The finale had a good stopping point, but it definitely makes clear that the story’s not over

so yeah, unlike season 1, this season *needs* a season 3 to be worth the watch

So yeah, there were some good moments & fights this season, but as a whole, it’s weaker than S1

Shokugeki no Souma S3 (Part 2) - 8.5 / 10 (B+)

I enjoyed this season! Continuing on the darker tone that the first half of S3 set up

This plot line of Central taking over the school is still my favorite plot point thus far, tbh

in other words, shit is finally going down!

…even if many of Central are just mustache-twirling villains :’D

Erina’s gotten great development from this arc too…! She’s not just a typical stuck-up tsundere anymore

her backstory is definitely a harsh one. It was great seeing her gain the courage to stick up to dad!

We also learned more about Souma’s dad! :O

Especially about how he was seen as feared, and the pressure of success got to him :’(

along with how this backstory tied into Asami’s motivations as well

Most of the season was kinda a gauntlet of opponents for the “resistance” to face off against

seeing Akira turn evil (for a bit) was interesting, but it’s a good thing he turned good again~

we oddly haven’t seen a lot of the Elite Ten in cooking action yet???

The final part of the season started off the big Team Shokugeki! …but it only got through the first round

the stakes are definitely high for this one, and also seems like the big conflict of this arc for sure

it’s just, y’know… the season ending in the middle is not a good look, really

at least the ending wasn’t abrupt; it was open-ended but still had a sense of conclusion

All in all, a good second half of season 3 (with some of my favorite plot content thus far!). Keep it up!

#amanchu #amanchu! #amanchu advance #cardcaptor sakura #cardcaptor sakura clear card #darling in the franxx #nanatsu no taizai #the seven deadly sins #shokugeki no soma #food wars #Final Impressions

[injectionmoldchina]

New Post has been published on http://www.injectionmouldchina.com/cool-plastic-molded-part-images/

Cool Plastic Molded Part images

A few nice plastic molded part images I found:

Printing the past: 3-D archaeology and the first Americans

Image by BLMOregon Photos were captured at the Pacific Slope Archaeological Laboratory on the Oregon State University Campus in Corvallis, Dec. 13, 2016, to accompany the feature story below: "Printing the past: 3-D archaeology and the first Americans." Article online here (and below): goo.gl/viKEZF

Photo by Matt Christenson, BLM Story by Toshio Suzuki, BLM

—————————————-

For the first Americans, and the study of them today, it all starts with a point.

A sharp point fastened to a wooden shaft gave the hunter 13,000 years ago a weapon that could single-handedly spear a fish or work in numbers to take down a mammoth.

For a prehistoric human, these points were the difference between life and death. They were hunger-driven, handmade labors of love that took hours to craft using a cacophony of rock-on-rock cracks, thuds and shatters.

They have been called the first American invention, and some archaeologists now think 3-D scanning points can reveal more information about both the technology and the people.

The Pacific Slope Archaeological Laboratory at Oregon State University takes up only a few rooms on the ground floor of Waldo Hall, one of the supposedly haunted buildings on campus.

There are boxes of cultural history everywhere, and floor-to-ceiling wood cabinets with skinny pull-out drawers housing even more assets, but the really good stuff, evidence of the earliest known cultures in North America, lives in an 800-pound gun safe.

Loren Davis, anthropology professor at OSU and director of the lab, thinks 3-D scanning, printing, and publishing can circumvent the old traditions of the field, that artifacts are only to be experienced in museums and only handled by those who have a Ph.D.

“We are reimagining the idea of doing archaeology in a 21st century digital way,” said Davis. “We don’t do it just to make pretty pictures or print in plastic, we mostly want to capture and share it for analysis,” he added.

Nearby in the L-shaped lab, one of his doctoral students is preparing to scan a point that was discovered on Bureau of Land Management public lands in southeast Oregon.

Thousands of points have been unearthed since the 1930s in North America, the first being in eastern New Mexico near a town called Clovis. That name is now known worldwide as representing the continent’s first native people.

More recently, though, other peoples with distinctive points were found elsewhere, and some researchers think it means there was differing technology being made at the same time, if not pre-Clovis.

One such location is the Paisley Caves in southern Oregon ― one of the many archaeologically significant sites managed by the BLM.

The earliest stem point from Paisley Caves was scanned at Davis’ lab and a 3-D PDF was included in a 2012 multi-authored report in the journal Science.

Davis estimates his lab at OSU has scanned as many as 400 points, including others from BLM-managed lands in Idaho, Nevada, Oregon and Washington.

More scans would mean a bigger database for comparing points and determining what style they are.

“Ideally, we want to get as many artifacts scanned as possible,“ said Davis. “The BLM offers a lot of access to public data ― this is just another way of doing it.”

—

Transforming a brittle piece of volcanic glass, by hand, into a beautiful and deadly 4-inch-long spear point is a process.

In one hand would be a hard shaping rock, or maybe a thick section of antler, and in the other would be the starter stone, which in addition to igneous could be jasper, chert, or any other chippable rock that creates a hide-puncturing level of sharpness.

After what might be hundreds of controlled strokes and rock rotations, the rough shape of a lance or spear tip would take form. Discarded shards of stone would often result in more points, or other useful tools like scrapers and needles.

Clovis points are distinguished by their length, bifacial leaf shape and middle channels on the bottom called flutes. Eventually the repetitive flaking of the point would stop, and the hunter would use precise pressure points to create the flute on one or each side that likely helped slot the finished product into a spear-like wooden pole.

The hunter was now mobile and ready to roam.

—

Prior to 3-D scanning, OSU doctoral student Sean Carroll picks up a can of Tinactin, gives it the obligatory shake, and completely covers “one of the oldest technologies in North America” with antifungal spray.

The talc and alcohol from the athlete’s foot remedy helps the software see even the slightest indents in the point, and it rubs right off afterwards.

“I want to scan all the Clovis I can get my hands on,” said Carroll, who came to OSU because of Davis’ 3-D lab and is using the medium as a big part of his dissertation.

Two random items, a power plug adapter and a ball of clay, are placed on each side of the fluted point to give the camera and light projector perspective. The objects create margins that force the structured light patterns to bend and capture more of the point’s surface detail.

Even so, like the hunter rotating the shaping rock, the archaeologist has to rotate the foam square holding the three items. Each scan takes about six seconds.

Carroll and Davis estimate that the learning curve for this process was about 100 hours. One hundred hours of trial and error — and a lot of watching YouTube videos — for a finished product that they think is indisputably worth it.

A completed 3-D scan of a point will have about 40,000 data points per square inch. The measurements are so precise, they can determine the difference between flake marks as thin as a piece of paper.

Davis says no archaeologist with a pair of calipers can come close to measuring the data obtained via 3-D, because simply, “there are some jobs that robots are really good at.”

“If the end game is measurements, well you could spend your whole life with a pair of calipers trying to achieve what we can do in 10 minutes,” said Davis.

—

Last year, the famous human relative nicknamed Lucy had 3-D scans of her 3.2 million year old bones published in the journal Nature.

In 2015, archaeologists from Harvard University completed a 3-D scan of a winged and human-headed stone bull from Mesopotamia that stands 13 feet high at the Louvre Museum.

And the Smithsonian Institution is currently beta testing a website dedicated to publishing 3-D models from its massive collection, including molds of President Abraham Lincoln’s face and the entire Apollo 11 command module.

All of these new-school efforts are based upon the old-school scientific principles of preservation and promotion.

Rock points, fossils, hieroglyphics — various forms of cultural assets are susceptible to environmental conditions and not guaranteed to be around forever. Three-dimensional scanning is the most accurate way to digitally preserve these items of merit.

Once accurate preservation is done, there are opportunities for promoting not just science, but specific research goals.

In the case of the Lucy bones, scientists hope that crowdsourcing the 3-D data will help get more experts to look at the fossils and prove that the tree-dwelling ape died from a fall.

When it comes to comparing one specific stemmed point to an entire hard drive of scanning data, BLM archaeologist Scott Thomas thinks the work being done at the OSU lab can move archaeology to a new level.

“The 3-D scanning method blows anything we have done out of the water,” said Thomas.

That ability to compare points can lead to insights on how these hunting tools moved over geography, and even expand theories about how native groups learned new technologies.

“It’s going to be a really powerful tool someday — not too far off,” said Thomas.

While long-term data analysis may not be the sexiest form of archaeology, holding a 3-D printed stem point is a pretty cool educational tool.

Davis of OSU has incorporated 3-D prints into his classes and said his students are able to make a tactile connection with artifacts that otherwise are not available.

“The students really enjoy these printed and digital models and often say that they are almost like the real thing,” said Davis.

—

This spring, Davis is traveling to Magadan, Russia — aka Siberia — to inspect and scan some points that may be linked to Clovis peoples.

The goal in Siberia, of course, is to further expand the 3-D database. He is specifically interested in comparing them to stems from a BLM-managed site he excavated in Idaho called Cooper’s Ferry.

As his student, Carroll, begins to clean up and put the scanned points into their individually labeled ziplocked bags, Davis can’t help but mention how much easier international research could be with 3-D scanning.

“You can share cultural resource info with people in other countries and you don’t have to come visit,” he said, adding that Russia isn’t the easiest country to enter.

“It’s as easy as sending an email,” Carroll agreed.

Davis then mentioned his 11-year-old child and how much of school curriculum these days is web-based as opposed to text-based.

“There’s nothing wrong with books, I’m a huge fan of books, but it’s a different way of learning,” said the archaeology professor.

And with that, he made another point.

— by Toshio Suzuki, [email protected], @toshjohn

Best places to find 3-D archaeology online: — Sketchfab.com is one of the biggest databases on the web for 3-D models of cultural assets. Institutions and academics alike are moving priceless treasures to the digital space for all to inspect. Two examples: via the British Museum, a 7.25-ton statue of Ramesses II is available for viewing and free download; and via archaeologist Robert Selden Jr., hundreds of 3-D models are open to the public for study, including several Clovis points from the Blackwater Draw National Historic Site in New Mexico. — The Smithsonian Institution is bringing the best of American history to a new audience via their 3-D website (3d.si.edu). Amelia Earhart’s flight suit? Check. Native American ceremonial killer whale hat? Check. Face cast of President Abraham Lincoln? Check and check — there are two. And their biggest 3-D scan is still coming: the 184-foot-long space shuttle Discovery. — Visitors to Africanfossils.org can filter 3-D model searches by hominids, animals and tools, and also by date, from zero to 25 million years ago. The sleek website, with partners like National Geographic and the National Museums of Kenya, makes it easy to download or share 3-D scans, and each item even comes with a discovery backstory and Google map pinpointing exactly where it was found.

#Cool #images #Molded #Part #Plastic #Injection Mould

[karl1n-fanfiction-librarys]

Chapter 9: Everybody loves family!

Pairing: Asami/Akihito

Contains: mature language

Summary: Akihito gets pregnant, what will happen?

Disclaimer: I don't own the viewfinder series Yamane Ayano does.

Note:

 “Ryui- wha!” Asami was now kneeling down in front of Akihito, a tiny red box in his hand. In the box was a shiny white-gold ring. “My sweet Akihito, will you marry me?” Shock was clearly shown on Akihito’s face “ah.. umh, yes?” he said in a tiny voice. Asami smiled sliding a ring on Akihito’s finger, and then kissing his hand; before standing up and capturing Akihito’s lips with his own.

‘Akihito is finally truly mine’

 06/24 18:54 Tuesday

 Akihito stared out the window; he hated this. After Ryuichi had proposed to him they had walked around for a bit longer, viewing the trees, but Akihito now nearing the end of his 4th month got tired rather quickly, his ankles also didn’t seem to like walking anymore.

 Akihito was currently staring at his chest, or rather what was on his chest. Apparently he needed to his tits to look female, and Kirishima perfectionist that he was had off course made sure he had them. The fake boobs were frighteningly realistic, this morning when the make-up ladies had first dressed him up it hadn’t been nearly as bad as now. He had just worn a stuffed bra. The things stuck to his chest were just… ugh. Had Akihito not know it was him in the mirror he wouldn’t have been able to recognize himself, and he certainly woudn’t have said that his reflection was male. The boobs were glued to his skin with a special substance that wouldn’t allow the appendages to fall off unless the special anti-substance was applied to them. They were his exact skin colour and you couldn’t see that they weren’t supposed to be part of him. Akihito really didn’t understand why he couldn’t just wear a filled bra again, this was ridicules!

 “Asami-sama, are you finished?” One of the ladies said and Akihito eyes widened in horror, they where going to see him like this?! Were the fuck was his bra. Akihito honestly didn’t know where this prudishness came from, but he couldn’t care less. “A-Almost!”

 06/24 19:20 Tuesday

 Asami Chika, looked towards the door of the privet room she and her husband had rented, just as her oldest son opened it. Standing next to him was a rather beautiful looking woman; she wore a midnight blue dress stopping at her ankles. She wore matching blue shoes, with a small heel. Two long locks of light blond hair were braided and met at the back of her head, they were tied by a small engraved silver clasp and fell down her shoulders with the rest of her hair reaching until mid-back. As she studied the jewelry the lady in front of her was wearing she couldn’t help but feel slightly shocked when she saw the white gold ring around her finger. It was a simple band with in the center a ring of diamond; her son wore a matching one, without the diamond.

 Akihito felt rather nervous Ryuichi’s mother had been eyeing him for the last couple of minutes, while Ryu and Ryuichi exchanged pleasantries. The hand resting on his waist tightened, as Asami addressed his mother. Akihito rubbed his stomach self-consciously, the dress he was wearing was comfortable but it just made him feel uncomfortable.

 The midnight blue dress had an open back and stretched comfortably around his round belly, it was cut on the right side from just bellow his hip all the way down and the sides of the cut were decorated with tiny diamonds. Bigger and more prominent diamonds were covering the fabric around his ‘breasts’.

 Akihito wore matching blue earrings made up of 5 small stones hanging from one big stone set in white gold. He also wore a simple bracelet with blue stones on it.

 The ladies who had done his make-up had wanted him to have his natural hair colour and had dyed it back to light blonde. Just one shade darker than it actually was. He had removed his collard contact lens form his right eye now dark blue, slightly lighter than his dress.

(A/n: so Akihito hair colour is light blonde and his right eye is dark blue while his left is hazel.)

 06/24 19:28 Tuesday

 Ryuichi could barely refrain from chuckling when he saw the lost look on his fiancé’s face. Akihito didn’t appear to really know what to order. Leaning in he raised his eyebrows, he finally understood the look, Akihito’s menu was in French.

 06/24 19:35 Tuesday

 Akihito studied Asami’s parents in boredom. Sure he was happy that Asami had spared him the embarrassment of having to speak -–supposedly he had a throat infection—but he was bored as hell! There was nothing to do but listen to Asami speaking with his parents, and of those conversations he didn’t understand half of. They were talking about business and stocks and other things Akihito didn’t really care about. He was also really hungry and they didn’t even bring a basket of bread! Looking at Asami’s parent could only entertain someone for a short period of time after all. Asami Chika was clearly ‘the man’ in the relationship, she kept interrupting her husband, and Akihito felt sort of bad for the guy. Having to live with someone like that must be awful. Chika was rather pretty for her age, she wore a light yellow yukata, which looked good on her. Her husband, Ryu, was like his son wearing a suit. Though unlike Ryuichi, it was dark blue instead of black.

 Chika wore light make-up which made her look quite a bit younger. She looked like a strict sort of mother; in Akihito’s eyes she fitted the roll of being Ryuichi’s mother. Akihito could only imagine how awfull a teenager Ryuichi must have been. Chika didn’t seem to like jewelry; she only wore her wedding ring and a pair of earrings. Not that Akihito had that much more, but with the diamonds covering his dress, he thought, or rather the ladies who had dressed him thought that that would be too much.

 Grumbling on Akihito almost didn’t notice their waiter walking in with their food. After the plate was placed in front of him Akihito stared. They couldn’t be serious, this tiny amount of stuff, he didn’t’ t dare call it food, was their dinner? He was frigging starving and this; this was what he had been waiting for, for the last fucking 30 minutes!

 06/24 20:45 Tuesday

  Akihito really wanted to go home, after five courses he was exhausted. Every time their waiter placed food on the table, Akihito spend the entire meal trying to figure out what it tasted like and what the fuck it was. Each course lasted five minutes at most so in the end he never figured out what he ate. His back hurt from sitting so still and stiff the entire time and he was simply tired. The only good thing about the entire evening was that he had actually meet a nice waiter for once, Edward was one of those stereo type gays, but in a good way. He had to remember to tell Ryuichi to give the man a nice tip. (A/n: I had a waiter named Edward when I was in America, he was very nice. :D)

    Omake 2: soccer, cages and rabbits

06/28 20:56 Monday

 “No! move it more to the left, yes like that, gosh, how hard is it!”

“Akihito what are you doing… what is that?” Asami asked, eyes filled with suspicion.

“Hm… oh, you mean Mayu’s cage?” Akihito said absently minded, still looking at the piece of paper in his hands.

“Yes, her cage, would you care to explain why it’s taking up the whole room?”

“Come on now, you’re exaggerating, it isn’t taking up the whole room, Mayu just needs space to run so I made, okay, your men made fences around her cage. Unless she is allowed to walk through the house?” Akihito said looking hopeful. “No.” Asami growled turning on his heel. Akihito sniggered behind his hand, kneeling and petting Mayu. “He looks jealous doesn’t he Mayu?”

 06/29 19:45 Tuesday

 “Hey, Ryuichi can I ask you a question?” Akihito said squirming on the settee. “Yes, what is it?” “Uhm… areyougoodatplayingsoccer?” “What was that, Akihito?” “Are you good at playing soccer?” “I’m decent why?”

 “Well we’re having three sons so I think that we can assume that at least one of them would like soccer and I suck at it so they need someone to teach them. But if you can then it’s fine.” Akihito said standing up and waddling away happily. Leaving a confused Asami behind. He jerked his hand away from the paper on the floor he had planned to pick up. He glared at it, pressing his left hand to the bleeding one.

 Asami gently nudged the paper with his expensive Italian shoes, revealing a white-pink ball of fur. He reached out again, planning on shoving the rabbit out of the room, the white monster didn’t seem to agree with him though, and he couldn’t suppress a yelp as the beast bit him again.   “Kirishima! Get this thing out of here!” “Coming!” Sounded a voice, followed by footsteps. That didn’t sound like Kirishima, no, it sounded like his lover. Quietly cursing he hastily whipped the blood on the couch. He wasn’t going to show Akihito that he had been bitten by the little bitch.

 The creature causing all the trouble was watching the man; she was highly amused. Who would have thought that biting him would be so easy!

 “Ryu, why were you shouting? Hey! Is that Mayu?! I’ve been looking for her everywhere!” Akihito said waddling over to the rabbit. Aki carefully lifted the animal of the ground. “Asami are you bleeding? What happened?!” He said shifting Mayu, she didn’t look comfortable at all, might have something to do with her inability to keep her balance with the hot pink plaster surrounding her upper body. “It’s just a small cut, you shouldn’t worry about it.” “Oh.. Okay” Akihito said, but Asami could hear the suspicion in his voice, the look Akihito was giving him didn’t help eather. Luckily his fateful assistant finally decided to show up “Asami-sama you called?”

 07/30 11:37 Monday

 “Good morning Mayu!” “Aren’t you happy they are going to take that awful cast off today?” Akihito said cheerfully squeezing the rabbit against his chest. “Jin! Hurry would you, I’m pregnant and I’m faster than you!” “Akihito-sama please wait! You shouldn’t walk so fast, what if you fall! Akihito-sama!” The man shouted miserably, he had just been assigned the job of being Akihito’s personal bodyguard/assistant and it was hell on earth. The boy didn’t see danger in anything! If it went on like this he would need an early retirement. “Jin! Move! Mayu stop wiggling! Jin!”

Poor rabbit, Jin thought, must be awful being squeezed against a chest like that.

  07/30 11:45 Monday

 Mayu looked around the room in fright; she was visiting the mean white man again. She recognized the disgusting smell. She tried desperately to get away from the man and the sharp object he was holding, making frantic squeaking noises in the process. Where is master? Where is my master! Go away! She tried biting but she couldn’t reach, suddenly the hard stuff that had been keeping her from walking properly was removed, she scramble of the table, hitting the floor and speeding out the door. She came to a sudden stop, right in front of a big black dog, Shit. “Mayu, what are you doing!” master, she was scooped up in his arms, warm and safe. “Shees, I was worried, bad Mayu! What if that mean dog hurt you!” He said, waddling towards the front door, still petting Mayu’s head on the way out, with Jin hurrying after them.

#finder series #you're the love prize in the viewfinder #asami x akihito #takaba akihito #asami ryuichi #fluff #mpreg