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#and at the end of everything the new stepparent divorces the fuck out of reginald ASAP because holy shit they were not paid enough for this
destinyandcoins · 2 years
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lmao i know it’s 2 seasons later but it just occurred to me: what if, at the beginning of s1, instead of deciding his funeral was the best way to get everyone back in one place, reginald decided to have a wedding instead
not only do we get the entertaining side-plot of this poor person reginald has bribed/blackmailed/begged to marry him For The Con, but the only reason any of the kids show up is because they got a wedding invite and immediately went “oh now this i gotta see”
#the episode is titled ''we only see each other at WEDDINGS and FUNERALS''#i'm just saying it could have gone the other way#the umbrella academy#half the kids are there to check in with their new stepparent and make sure they're there of their own free will#''idk what he told you but you don't have to do this. say the word and i'll get you out of here''#''no i promise i. definitely....want to...be here :) :) ''#i can't decide if it's funnier if five knew because time travel and he's already had time to adjust to this concept#so is perfectly polite and accommodating if slightly confused because the personality he built for them in his head isn't accurate#while the rest of them are going through the 5 stages of grief over discovering their dad is capable of romance#or if through some time fuckery five came from a timeline where he saw the news that reginald is dead#and then drops into the timeline in the middle of a fucking wedding and is COMPLETELY blindsided by this#but doesn't have time to deal with this shit#somehow THIS is the timeline where they do manage to prevent the apocalypse#and at the end of everything the new stepparent divorces the fuck out of reginald ASAP because holy shit they were not paid enough for this#and yet they're like ''well i did what you asked (even if you didn't mention the LOOMING APOCALYPSE)#but holy shit i'm taking these kids in the divorce because what the fuck dude what the FUCK. idc if they're all adults#they need a better family and now i'm obligated to be that for them''#and reginald was playing fast and loose because of the LOOMING APOCALYPSE and didn't sign a prenup#so the new stepparent gets the academy (the property AND the actual kids) and reginald has to move out and live on the streets
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