#and at the end of the day arent I going to die alone anyways

[airbendertendou]

i know almost nothing abt demon slayer but have some thoughts abt douma

you wake up in his little cult w no memory of who you are right

the woman taking care of you grins and tosses the wet rag she used on your forehead to the side

nd with this widened almost terrifying smile, she says "our lord has come to visit you himself! what a blessing~"

the first time you see douma you just feel like somthing is. off

hes pretty - stunning, honestly - in this mystical, dangerous way that should lead you away from him instead of bringing you closer. but, its the opposite for his followers - they hang onto every word he says and believe him so earnestly its kind of sad

douma immediately thinks theres something wrong w you. you dont have that foggy, starry-eyed gaze everyone else does when hes near. you look cautious - aware. it makes him hungry

he leans down to face you, "hello, stranger! stay as long as you need to, hm?"

your skin crawls but you nod anyways

staying in paradise is odd. again, everyone hangs on douma's every word and trusts his every action. they devote themselves to him. but youve noticed -

people are going missing, women specifically.

his followers are v obviously in lust w him, bragging abt the nights spent alone w him and begging to be the next chosen one

"it'll be me," one girl says as she dries the freshly cleaned dishes. she perks her chest up smugly, "i've got his favored assets."

"he's been spending more time with me," another argues, "asking for me personally."

"don't act so mighty-"

and then the man himself appears in the doorway with a soft, barely there smile. "[random name], we have some things to discuss. see you tonight?"

everyones attention shifts to the smallest one in the kitchen, eyes large and timid. her hands shake so hard the plate shes holding falls to the floor and shatters. douma tilts his head, "everything alright, sweet? should we have our session a little earlier?"

"shes going to die."

it comes from your mouth before you can stop it. multi-colored eyes snap to you, his nose crinkling slightly. you simply stare, "when they disappear with you, they vanish. die."

douma hides the way his eye twitches. the bustier girl stammers, shoving your shoulder roughly. "you shouldnt say such things! apologize to lord-"

"its okay," doumas eyes twinkle, "curious cicumstances, hm, [name]?"

she doesnt die. its as if douma is proving a point to you - proving you wrong. she lives that night - only to vanish the next. "a personal trip," douma speaks. he dismisses everyones concerns except for yours.

and when you start speaking up more - predicting everyones death - he begins to punish you

the water you wash dishes with is either scalding hot or below freezing. theres a new night shift to the sanctuary that you take care of, staying awake for days on end. cleaning the entirety of paradise by yourself. watching as every other member feasts heartily while your portion is forgotten or unavailable.

douma even tries to throw you off his trail. he speaks to numerous people - has those secret conversations with men and others out of his normal type. but you always seem to know the exact one hes going to consume - the one who will die.

as if you predict it

and that makes him so curious! youre such an annoyance ; a hazard to keep around. but what if you could predict the future? what if maybe you were just that observant?

it doesnt help that you arent afraid of him. most of the time, you simply stare and blink at him, like youre bored

and that starts his obsession with you

the women he takes to his room are reminescent of you. your eye color ; hair color ; height ; the way they speak ; the letter of their name - any similarity to you and theyre done

starts calling you "precious" , "chosen" , or "blessing" to make sure you know hes keeping an eye on you but to also make the other followers hate you

i think youd catch on but but this is where my thought stopped lmao

#douma x reader #demon slayer x reader #yandere demon slayer #yandere douma #💌 : chai is typing… #idk how else to tag this bc its not actually written out lmao

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

Haven't You Heard, Hearts Turn to Dirt

by AnAnonymousHermit

Day 9 - The Very Noisy Night (Plus Alternate Prompt "Ambushed")

The world tilts as Wilbur falls back, the dark roadway and even darker trees being replaced by the night sky, the crescent moon sitting right in the center and watching from afar. Pain bursts in the back of his head, but it’s nothing compared to the bullethole in his stomach.

Fuck, he’s been shot. For real this time, rather than a graze. He’s fucked. There are undead in these woods that can smell blood from miles away, there’s Bitchass the bounty hunter that won’t hesitate to shoot him again should he even attempt to sit up, and there’s the inevitable infection that would set in if he were to survive anyway due to the lack of medical supplies.

Fuck. He’s going to die, and he’s going to leave Tommy all alone.

But… maybe, as a final resort, he can… he can…

Trying to push himself upright is pure, unadulterated agony. Every shift to his torso has lightning lancing through every inch of his body, all originating from the hole in his stomach.

But he still has the gun. 

Words: 3801, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 9 of Whumptober 2022 destroys Writer’s Block

Fandoms: Dream SMP

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Characters: Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson | Philza, Mentioned Technoblade - Character

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)

Additional Tags: Whumptober 2022, Whump, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Major Character Injury, Possible Character Death, depends on how you wanna view it, technically no character death, Angst, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, although there arent any zombies in the fic lmao, might fuck around and make this a series on its own, i did a bunch of background world building for this oneshot lmao, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Like Siblings, Philza is a Menace, Minor Character Death, theyre ocs calm down, Big L to the Ass Trio, youll see if you read LMAO, Suicidal TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), my god why is that a tag?, its not that bad its for a few lines near the end, mans really loves his brother is all

#ao3feed #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #crimeboys #crime boys #crimebois #crime bois #mcyt #This is an automated process #If you see any fic that breaks boundaries #or the fic is yours and you don't want it shared send an ask #it will be looked at and removed if need be

[thoughts-and-all-that]

why are you such a fucking bitch. fuck you with your fucking 'i dont give a fuck that you got rightfully mad that some teenage brat is calling your existence a joke so you called him a brat for, yknow, BEING A BRAT'. why the fuck do i always have to be the bigger person. im sick of being the bigger person.

im on my last strings with this group idefc man. if i get demoted or smthn like this happens one more time. i dont even care ill just leave. what the fuck is one more restart on my pile of dozens. these people are barely close to me anyway. not like theyll fucking care. and itll just end up being one more group of people who hate me in the end. not unusual.

im only really friends with like, one or two of them, but also not really. when was the last time we played a game together, VCd together, any of that? its been forever. i could join the vc anytime but theyre always playing shit idc about and talking about shit idc about. why cant i ever be what i care about. why not ask to play the game they know i love. even just for an hour or two.

i know im always forcing others to prove they care about me without me even telling them thats what im doing but like... they dont really prove it much. theyll hit me up if i go silent and then i come back and the cycle repeats

its always like this. why cant i just find the place where i truly connect with people and everything is just fine. why is it always something.

all i wanna fucking do is play minecraft and talk about whatever dorky kids show/movie im obsessing over this time. why is that so hard.

maybe its me, but like, im literally so fucking chill if people arent being stupid, but they get stupid so much.

at this point im fucking holding back from leaving that server. a year and a half down the drain just like that. its always a year and a half or less. i guess i just cant handle long term relationships.

my only real friend is a fucking stuffed animal. i think if i got one wish in this world, id be selfish and wish she were real. just the way i imagine her and everything. why should anyone else get my wish when all of them disappoint and hurt me time and time again. she would never hurt me.

maybe im just destined to be alone. too bad for that destiny that i desperately grasp onto what little connection i hold to humanity left.

maybe i do need to go to a mental hospital finally. ill give it a week before i make that choice. i need to at least get my new glasses in 6 days anyway.

i just feel my brain deteriorating and i cant do much about that i think.

ill just suffer like always.

i dont care if im being selfish. i think ive earned it after a lifetime of never getting what i want. what i truly want.

cause instead i was born into a family of people i wouldnt otherwise interact with ever, in a town full of people that never cared about me, especially not the way i tried to care about them, in a body thats not mine. in a life thats not mine.

i feel as if i were misplaced at birth. misplaced nonphysically. like i was meant to be somewhere else, somewhere right, and something went wrong. and the universe just never corrected itself. it left me here.

there wasnt a point to this post. im just sick of feeling all these things and having nowhere to say them. i cant let people i know hear me say shit like this. its not like theyd listen anyway.

i wish i wasnt broke so i could get a stupid fucking therapist already. i wish preventing myself from wanting to die and hate myself and hate the world wasnt so unaffordable.

anyway haha mental illness moment woahagagahshhhaoahah so funni wild wowza woooo

#vent #dont ignore me #personal

[sajdd]

i will never understand people who try to seperate c!tommy and c!dream as if their stories and character progression arent interwoven with each other

their dynamic is so interesting and tragic... 

they used to genuinely be friends, brothers even. dream would antagonise tommy a lot, he would break his own rules and do things to get on tommy's nerves to play with him, but back then we all saw it as some light-hearted fun, its how tommy saw it too. he had fun in this little play-war they had going on

and then came wilbur. then came lmanberg. and suddenly he was spending more time around his actual brother. he was actually fighting against dream, it wasn't just play anymore. so then came the declaration of independence, and so came the declaration of war. the burned down house, the blown up land, the final control room, the duel, the trade.

but tommy didn't truly hate dream, not yet. but dream’s motives were so unclear, what was the truth? and what was a lie? switching sides so many times, trying to push away the blame from himself, wanting to support tommy in taking back l’manberg to helping wilbur blow up the whole place and teaming with schlatt. and so came the final battle of pogtopia and manberg, there were no winners that day but there was hope. they survived, and tommy would get his disks back from dream.

and then came exile. nothing would ever be the same for them. dream wanted tommy all to himself, and if that meant he had to cut off his contact with everyone else and quite literally beat it into his head that he is tommy's only friend? well.. some sacrifices have to be made. he'll come around eventually... and he did! but then dream pushed him too far and he ran away.

tommy was under technoblade's protection for a while, but dream couldnt afford to waste his favour on that. so he waited, and he planned. their alliance was short-lived anyway, as soon as tommy realised what he truly cared about it was over. naturally, he was going to side with the blood god himself. i mean, what better way to rub his victory into tommy’s face. his expression was priceless! this kid is just too much fun.

and he'll roam free for now, until their final battle. he'll get rid of that pest called tubbo and he can finally put tommy somewhere he cant escape from :) but then punz shows up and drags the rest of the server with him. betrayed. and tommy has the upper hand now- except. he has also secret card up his sleeve. the revive book. tommy wont get rid of him if he can potentially bring back his beloved brother. 

and while dream is stuck rotting in prison, tommy starts healing. he gets better. but.. its so weird without dream. so why not visit him! to rub his victory in his face and show how much better everything is without him. how much better he's doing. he's here to rub it in his face and not because he still feels so lonely and dream is his friend and please god why wont someone love me- and the hotel is going great, he's inviting people and healing and noone comes except for the people trying to kill him but he's still friends with tubbo even if they're drifting apart and he has ranboo and why am i being replaced what did i do wrong and he goes to visit dream for the final time, its really time to put an end to this.

and then there's explosions. muffled through the obsidian walls surrounded in lava. the inescapable, unbreakable, impenetrable prison is being blown up. and dream is laughing. and dream is not surprised. and tommy is stuck with dream, because sam wont let him out its protocol and he’s stuck with dream and itll be just like exile tommy.

but he manages to survive, he cant breathe and the walls are closing in and he just wishes someone would come save him at least this one time but nobody comes. and dream is talking of partnership and running away together but there is no "us", tommy's going to get out of here and dream will die sad and alone and i bet the revive book isnt even real- and then he's screaming for help but it comes too late. he's being ripped apart and all he knows is pain and void and oh god its wilbur again. he exists in this darkness for 2 months before getting dragged back to life by the devil himself.

and there will be no more normal ever again. even the slightest pain reminds him of dying and limbo and wilbur and we can be immortal together tommy! and oh my god he has to kill dream no one should have that much power and wilbur cant come back-

and of course wilbur comes back. because he fucked up. tommy fucked up and now sam is angry, and tubbo and ranboo are angry and ghostbur is dead and wilbur is back and dream is alive rotting in that prison and why cant i just have peace for one moment what did i do to deserve this

and then his brother proclaims dream a hero. and why would he say that he knows what he did to me why would he say that

and so dream waits for wilbur to come. he knows he'll visit, he's indebted to him, he will be SO grateful for bringing him back. and if he can control wilbur then he can control tommy. and they can be friends again.

and maybe its time tommy accepted he cant run away from dream. for as long as he’s alive they are destined to be together. after all, he is tommy's friend. the one constant throughout this whole story. they have too much fun together. he was the one person who was there when no one else was. and no matter how much he hates it, somewhere deep down he still cares about dream and it makes him feel sick. but once tommy has love for you in his heart he can never really let go of it, no matter how much you might hate him or hurt him, he will still love you, remembering the good times, the fun times. and that's all dream wants doesn't he? he just wants to have fun.

(sorry this was so long idk what came over me also my thought process in the tags)

#lmao sorry this is so long and rambly #i started off wanting to explain smth but i basically ended up writing a fanfic #this is supposed to be messy btw #ITS MENTAL ILLNESS INNIT #their dynamic is just so interesting because of how it descended into this unhealthy obsession dream has with tommy and what he did to him #but he genuinely cares for him but in this.. sick and twisted way #and we know how tommy is with those he cares about. he never really stops caring #and he forgives #even if hes pissed off #its a tragic dynamic and its so interesting #it all falls apart so terribly #so dont seperate these two characters and stories because they are vital to each others development and story progression #just. so interesting #and horrifying #this was fun to write even if im shit at writing #long post #tommyinnit #dream smp #dreamwastaken #c!tommy #c!dream #c!dream critical #this isnt rlly critical but i dont want the apologists to come after me because i dont woobify dream lmao

[foulserpent]

part of why i like hiking is bc it gives me time to be 100% alone with my thoughts which is useful for mulling over anything i need to think about but for the better part of this hike today. ALL i could think about is how scummy and bullshit 'missing 411' is.

bc i was in the kind of situation that these '''''mysterious'''' disappearances/deaths happen in. i was alone on a mountain in the wilderness. the weather changes fast in regions like this, so it was snowing on and off and developed into a full snowstorm when i was at the peak and had a few miles to hike down. its an unmarked trail and it was getting snowed over. it would be a little difficult to lose the trail bc the area surrounding it is dense bush. but if i was disoriented for any number of reasons it would be 100% possible, especially given the trail got completely covered in snow. i went in wearing an excess of layers for the weather + rain gear, but anything less (and people tend to underdress bc they underestimate things) and i would be at risk for hypothermia. i was at risk for hypothermia WITH all my layers, bc any number of mishaps could have gotten me damp enough that it would do me no good.

if i slipped on a rock and hit my head id be screwed and it would be difficult to find me. (and i did slip on rocks, i had a walking stick that helped me but theres always a chance it wouldnt) snow would cover my body. and thered be a good chance ravens, crows, turkey vultures, would eat me, or coyotes, wolves, bears might drag me off-trail before anyone found me. if i fell in the water i could get hypothermia pretty much immediately. (and there were MANY places i could have fallen). i would be wholly susceptible to paradoxical undressing, and terminal burrowing in the end (which would make me hard to find). and its unlikely, but if a mountain lion happened to decide i was a good meal, odds are i wouldnt see or hear it (especially in the snow) until it was too late. i had people who knew where i was, but if i didnt its possible i could die somewhere and no one would report me missing until far too late and no one would find me until the spring. and even with the people knowing where i was, i was on a fucking mountain, it snowed on and off all day, which would have made rescue attempts difficult.

like everything is so FRAGILE when youre out there, not because nature Hates you or some bullshit like that but just bc youre really just experiencing a kind of mortality you dont necessarily do in day to day life.

and anyway back to missing 411 which is bullshit by a con artist ex-cop.... it tries to make this into a whole Thing and claims its this big mystery and conspiracy whereas i think most people could tell you the reality is just. sometimes shit can go wrong and you can die out there and theres no human society safety net that will make it seem 'rational' and safe, bc we're animals too and we're a part of this too. sometimes shit just happens. like even aside from how paulides fabricates shit to make stories sound mysterious, the core conceit is that its Unusual that humans arent Above nature or w/e which is just not true!

im getting 2deep but its just very frustrating. the sentiment behind it is very frustrating .

#this is very rambly im feverish. take this as you will #i think experiencing your own mortality in this way once in a while is good for you. i dont think its bad that i could die and be eaten #by scavengers or whatever. its part of life and im glad to be a part of it #and of course ill try to avoid it bc thats part of life too but its not some delusion that im Above it #or that its Bad or Mysterious or Unnatural #not to get quasi spiritual but im agnostic and its just very hard for me to be convinced of anything but the #fact that no matter what my body will be eaten by other living things is the closest thing to an afterlife i can be convinced of and thats #fact that no matter what my body will be eaten by other living things in the end is the closest thing to an afterlife i can be #100% convinced of and thats alright. #ANYWAY

[arhvste]

❝ kuroo tetsurō - wedding hcs ❞

tetsu week masterlist

-> nothing over the top

-> you guys agreed upon a modest wedding with the relevant family and friends invited

-> by that i mean you guys don’t bother with inviting far extended family and friends of friends because you guys shouldn’t have to waste your budget feeding people y’all rarely talk to

-> also kuroo doesn’t like his 3rd cousin so he just didn’t invite the whole extended tree

-> it’s a pretty traditional wedding like y’all really don’t add any unecessary features to it

-> like 3 water fountains at the front of the entrance might look nice but there’s a good chance someone bokuto will end up in it somehow so it got scratched off the list

-> anywho

-> your wedding is immaculate because your mans considered everything down to a t

-> of course he took on board everything you said you wanted to include

-> he’s heavily involved in the planning and has pinterest downloaded on his phone too

-> making a romantic playlist for your s/o? nah

-> making a pinterest board for your s/o 😎

-> lowkey y’all get followers on pinterest just because your board is ugh chefs kiss

-> so you guys have a spring wedding because it’s not too hot or too cold

-> also the weather is good enough to hold plthe ceremony outside

-> you know who actually helps you find a good venue?

-> akaashi

-> the mans in the shoujo manga dept he’s gonna know what a good wedding scene looks like

-> so he recommends this pretty place by a river and temple in the distance

-> thank you akaashi, very helpful 😼

-> seeing as the place you guys hold the ceremony is already quite natural and has a nice colour palette to it, you guys don’t go overboard with flowers

-> of course you’ll have some white flowers and soft tones of any other colour flowers you think suit

-> kuroo insists on using your fav flower as the most dominant one

-> in reality he’s just trying to show off to you the fact that even after all these years, he still knows your fav things like flowers off by heart

-> ceo of simps 🤩

-> no it’s actually very cute he remembers and insists upon the small detail being included

-> overall though your decorations are really pretty?

-> like they’re not too in your face they’re just very delicate and dainty 😼

-> as for food, i’m gonna leave that for you guys to imagine because idk if y’all have allergies or religious rules you have to follow etc

-> but just know kuroo’s having the menu made exactly how you want it

-> as long as there’s some form of mackerel on there

-> so back onto your actual wedding day

-> kuroo is NERVOUS

-> he’s marrying the love of his life !!!

-> and he will cry 😜

-> he has no idea what you look like but he’s gonna cry because you’re going to look ethereal

-> okay i know everyone hcs that he would wear some red suit or something

-> but he’s wearing a black and white formal one,, i said what i said 😌

-> and this is purely because this means it can’t clash with your own colour scheme

-> what a considerate husband 😎

-> so when the time comes for him to see you his hands are sweaty asf

-> i just know sakusa is somewhere in the audience cringing because his gross spidey senses are going off

-> his little leg is shaking up and down cause like damn

-> can this old man just shush and get to the part where you walk down the aisle?? he’s missed you all day 😾

-> ugh finally everyone is standing up to welcome you and kuroo is already tearing up

-> his breath hitches from the moment you’re in his eyesight

-> y/n, luv, YOURE SO HOT

-> kuroo is all 🥺😖🤩🥰

-> while he’s taking in your appearance the world just kinda stops for him

-> well actually it gets a little closer because you’re his world duh

-> but he’s never seen someone so breathtaking

-> is this legal?? are you about to cut of his oxygen supply??

-> when you finally get to the front of the alter and stand right in front of him he swears he could die happy

-> he has waited so long to officially make you his

-> and now you’re finally standing here about to take his last name

-> he takes your hand into his and is relieved to feel yours are a little sweaty too

-> ugh you guys are so happy and nervous

-> the whole time the priest is talking neither of you are really listening because wow

-> you’re both finally here together

-> all kuroo can focus on is you

-> and vice versa

-> when the time comes, his vows are stuttered out at first but he grows more confident as you give him a pure and genuine smile

-> “i knew you were the one after you asked me for my homework answers right before class back in our second year 😌”

-> your second year home room teacher and close friend sat somewhere in the audience : 👁👄👁

-> “you were so cute. had i of known that letting you cheat on the homework would’ve led us here i would’ve let you cheat way before so we could’ve met sooner”

-> kuroo is cute but he’s just straight up snaking you up for your lack of homework in your second year

-> you’re like ‘stop talking 😀’

-> overall his vows are very cliche and he has some bad jokes littered in there too but that’s what makes it so him

-> y/n, luv, yours aren’t much better though because they’re just as cheesy

-> that’s okay though because they’re still cute

-> kenma will be gagging behind the two of you while y’all display your affection 😜

-> so when kuroo finally allowed to kiss you he doesn’t told back

-> he’s just made you his officially if you think he’s going in for a shy peck you’re wrong

-> mans a lil stiff but he’s going to the whole arm under back and dip

-> everyones too excited to care over how over the top it is though

-> anyways, your food

-> it was immaculate because your man is getting you nothing but the best

-> and as for your cake

-> kuroo tries to do that thing where he swipes buttercream on your nose to be all cute

-> but he miscalculates his angles and got it in your eye 🤩

-> that’s okay though because you get him back by swiping a handful in his face

-> don’t worry, the baker knew this would happen

-> so there’s a spare layer to make up for the one you kinda ruined

-> ugh your baker came in clutch 🤑

-> anyways onto your first dance

-> kuroo steps on your feet a handful of times 😖

-> he’s lowkey embarrassed but your footwork isn’t amazing either so he feels a little better

-> i’m not calling you guys bad dancers

-> you’re both just still so in shock that you’re really married now 🥺

-> the whole dance is just a little teary eyed as he whispers how much he loves you and how happy you’ve made him while you dance

-> the less tearful dances occur after you’re all done though

-> the whole night people are stealing the two of you away from each other to congratulate the two of you and dance and drink with you all etc

-> the whole time spent with your family and friends is so nice and just fulfilling??? 😌

-> by the end of it though you just want to be in your husbands arms alone

-> and that’s exactly what kuroo grants as soon as the last of your guests leave

-> he carries you bridal style to the car waiting outside for the two of you

-> “tetsu, i can walk”

-> “we just got married arent i allowed to carry you as such? 😿”

-> and with that the two of you are driving off into the night to the 5 star hotel you’re staying at

-> listen, i know it’s been a long day for the two of you and you guys are probably tired

-> but you’re not tired enough not to give him one last wedding gift 👀

-> it it just so happens that this is his favourite one 😼

dt - @aislastetsu

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @dear-kozume @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @tsukkaria @kuxredere @warakou @mattsuny @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake @waitforitillwritemywayout

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo x you #kuroo hcs #kuroo headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #hq #hq x reader #hq x you #hq hcs #hq headcanons #tetsu.week<3

[trashcatsnark]

I love how you have become like, the silverv/silverhand confessional lmao

I hope you arent overwhelmed with all the asks, but I am curious if you have any go to ship songs for the pairing. I have been listening to this one myself a LOT and its my current fav ship song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYpg8bqKbW0

Ooooh, I like!

Its truly my calling in life! Absolutely no worries, I’m living for this all right now and if i start to feel overwhelmed or anything, I’ll be sure to take care of myself! I appreciate the concern and the ask. 

Becauuse speaking of songs; i got a playlist for my V and Johnny (though it also has songs specific to her and to some other relationships, like her friendship with Jackie too on there): https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6wkDHbdiMT7NNldksbqBaQ?si=1pZ1ttq9QICGWUdQuzYJVw&nd=1

Out of those; I have some songs on there that specifically give me strong SilverV vibes

Under My Skin by Jukebox The Ghost; a little more esoteric in it’s lyrics, but a lot of symbolism and talks of feeling as if you’re letting a second person into your skin. And even some lyrics regarding a doubtfulness that this person you let in is even truly there, so I think it works and I just like the song so

I can fit two people under my skin I can fit two people under my skin And I will prove it if you will listen You crawled up in there you joined me within

Time by NF; I like this one for SilverV because I think it works really well regarding Johnny trying to change and that sort of effort it takes, the comfort in knowing V will stay by his side even as he struggles to become the person they know he can be. And how that change doesn’t come quick or easy. And knowing he’s not easy to deal with and he still struggles, he still lashes out at times but he’s trying and he’s willing to keep trying for them. 

Even if we both break down tonight And you say you hate me And we go to bed angry I know everything will be alright I'll be here waiting I promise I'm changing I just need time

Nicotine by Panic! At The Disco; this one I look at as a V who’s becoming frustrated with themselves for being drawn to Johnny and always seeing the best in him despite his toxic behavior at times. A little more of a disheartening look at their dynamic at times, that Johnny isn’t good for them in so many ways, yet they can’t help but care for him. And comparing him to nicotine, juxtaposed to him literally trying to con V into smoking, is real nice to me. 

I've lost control and I don't want it back I'm going numb, I've been hijacked It's a fucking drag I taste you on my lips and I can't get rid of you So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you do

Yeah, you're worse than nicotine

I Like Me Better by Lauv: This one is a more upbeat look at them, especially one Johnny’s committed to being better and things are looking up more. Its just a cute song with a focus being on, feeling like someone brings out the best in you, Johnny likes himself more when he’s with V, when they’ve helped him become a better person. Also cute lyrics about just wanting to spend all day talking to your special someone and feeling like you could tell them everything

Midnight into morning coffee Burning through the hours talking Damn I like me better when I'm with you

Guillotine by Jon Bellion & Travis Mendes; The big part of this song that screamed SilverV for me it is has the notion of knowing someones darkest secrets, knowing the worst of them, and still loving them anyway. V and Johnny know the darkest parts of one another, have seen each other at their worsts and bests, yet they still fell for one another.

The secrets you tell me I'll take to my grave There's bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway And if you have nightmares, we'll dance on the bed

I know that you love me, love me Even when I lose my head

Guillotine, guillotine

All I Want by Kodaline: SPOILERS BY THIS SONG IS LIKE THE TEMPERANCE ENDING THEME SONG LIKE??? Or alternatively; I accept Sun Ending V lamenting their choice and missing Johnny.  Like the way its so perfect for it is downright ridiculous. Did Kodaline predict Cyberpunk 2077???

All I want is nothing more To hear you knocking at my door 'Cause if I could see your face once more I could die a happy man I'm sure When you said your last goodbye I died a little bit inside I lay in tears in bed all night Alone without you by my side But if you loved me Why'd you leave me? Take my body

Haunting by Halsey: Not as perfect for them as some others here, but it just strikes me so much a V who’s grown so attached to Johnny and doesn’t want to let him go and what they have. They want him to keep haunting them. 

'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak And I've tried to wash you away but you just won't leave So won't you take a breath and dive in deep 'Cause I came here so you'd come for me

I'm begging you to keep on haunting I'm begging you to keep on haunting me

The Night We Met by Lord Huron: Again, makes me mostly think of Temperance Ending (can you tell what my favorite canon ending is). Johnny looking back at his time with V, the first time they met, and wishing he could have undone something. Wishes he could have done something, anything different, anything to get them to have made a different choice. Thinking of how they went from looking at him in fear as he raged and screamed at them; to them giving the ultimate sacrifice. 

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #johnny silverhand #silverv #cyberpunk 2077 spoilers #ieiwi

[nortyeye]

sirens sound, deafening on uncaring ears. it has been too long, and you have been alone for so much of it, time passes slow as molasses and yet you are older than you have ever been, arent you tired? of surviving? arent you tired of being alone? arent you tired of living in fear? through decades of your life you have been living day to day, double checking around corners, eyeing every suspicious slime trail, you know its coming closer. you can feel it.

time is shorter than its ever been. you know, this is where it ends. you sigh as the alarm blares, begging you to act to run to prepare for the coming fight, but youre s o tired. you take a sip of a whiskey you been saving for a hundred years, youre tired. and its time to face your fate.

it approaches, pink shell flashing in the lights. you can see the faint glisten of slime as it slowly makes its way towards you. “alright mate?” you ask pleasantly, turning your face up to see the stars shining brilliantly (humanity died out decades ago, and with them, light pollution. you had missed the stars)

“i suppose its nearing time then.” another sip of your whiskey before you sigh, set the glass down, and turn to face your lifelong enemy. the snail prophesized to end your life, and as such all life on this earth “you know. ive lived in fear of death for so long. done evrything i could to avoid it, avoid you. “ the snail doesnt come closer.

‘curious,’ you think. ‘perhaps he doesnt want this to end any more than i do’.

“but ive lived a long long life. and so have you, i think we both deserve to rest now” as you reach out, offering your hand to the snail you realize, ironically enough, there has only ever been one thing by your side for your whole life. eons youve walked this earth, seen love and pain and undescribable beauty, and never once have you been able to share it with another being, except for this snail, who saw everything you did, only slightly later. every life you have ever touched, this snail has too. everything you have done has been by the side of this snail, you have commited heinous acts, anything to stay alive, and so has he. and you both know this, and you both keep going anyways, together. because what else is there to do?

“its alright mate, really. i want to go. you can touch me now. maybe. “

well… you feel a bit foolish about it but if youre going to die anyways…

“maybe we can be friends again”

inspired by @peninkwrites

#immortalsnailau #emerald duo #technoblade #philza

[acaciapines]

@mallowstep

woulda sent this as an ask but uh. moth ghost au wont leave my head and this got. long. hope ya dont mind i think about hawkfrost and mothwing A Lot.

under a cut bc. again. long.

bc see the thing is. if i were to do a moth ghost au. the kids are all young when she dies (at least, i think? idk their timeline, i’m assuming they’re like, 3-4 months, so, youngish), so it’s like...ghost sister? ghost sister. sasha cant see her because it’s no fun if she can, so we get hawk and tadpole, both who feel like they’ve killed their sister, both who are kids and cant deal with that grief. but like...moth is right there! she’s right there! she’s still their sister even if shes a ghost and as they get bigger and lose their kit-fluff she stays the same. she’s their sister.

but sasha....sasha just lost one of her kittens, nearly lost the other two, and now the remaining ones are talking to moth as though she’s still there? cats dont leave ghosts behind--cats aren’t trapped like that. humans are, sasha was a housecat and she’s seen how humans pace around their houses, but cats are sneaky lil guys. cats arent trapped to the earth like people are. cats die and leap into the sky and become the world.

moth isn’t stuck, moth is the world. so sasha tells her sons that their sister isn’t a ghost with them, but she’s the world around them--the prey and wind and sky.

hawk and tadpole look at each other, at their very-much-there ghost sister, and are like....yeah sure mom.

so we get a hawk and tadpole who refuse to let moth go. it’s hawk who clings to her the most, i think--he acts as though nothing happened, as though nobody drowned. tadpole is...starting to listen to their mom, a bit. he knows moth is there, but...should she be? nobody should be trapped like this. her spirit deserves to move on.

“we should help her,” tadpole says.

“she’s fine,” hawk says, “she’s right here, and she’s fine, and i’m not going to let you kill her again just because you have something against ghosts.”

and tadpole doesn’t ask again. he was the first one out out that basement.

eventually the kits end up in riverclan, and tadpole doesnt really talk about moth to anybody. like, he still acknowledges her, but only when they’re alone or it’s just hawk. hawk, on the other hand, doesn’t care! sure he’s like, 6 moons old, and moth is still stuck at 4, but! who! cares! and so while the clan teaches them their clan ways, teaches them about starclan, tadpole listens and he’s able to find some comfort in the idea. that theres a place his sister can go, can move on to. he’s always liked the stars. moth will, too.

but hawk...

well, the thing is, hawk’s not a clan cat. he’s got a clan name, now, he’s down a mother and he’s a very young kid staring up at these riverclan cats, but he’s nothing if not stubborn, and he’s clung to his sister thus far and he’s not about to give her up.

the clans dont think much of other religions. they tell hawk and tadpole that there’s no such thing as ghosts. dead cats go to starclan, and only clan cats, at that--your sister isn’t there, why would she be? she died a loner. but dont worry, now you’re here, in the clans, and when you die, you’ll be together in starclan.

“it’s stupid,” hawk says, to moth, alone in their den, “who cares about starclan? thats not mine, and its not yours. if you’re going anywhere it’s the wind, not the stars.”

“did you see that one thunderclan med cat apprentice at the gathering?” asks moth. “i thought she was pretty.”

“never change,” hawk says, fondly.

but he starts to think. as he starts to spend more and more time alone, with only moth for company. and moth is moth but she is...a ghost. she’s trapped. she doesn’t grow and change like a living cat does--at this point she doesnt even know why she’s still around. something about...drowning, maybe? it happened so long ago. she’s just happy to have her brother with her.

tadpole worries. hawk pushes him away. tadpole tells him they have to let their sister go. that they have to move on--that he loves moth too, and he misses her every day, but they’re clan cats, now. they have to be the best they can be, so nobody else is ever hurt again.

so i dont hurt anyone again, he doesnt say.

because tadpole doesn’t think moth’s ghost is around, either. he’s stopped seeing her. maybe he never did. maybe he was just a kid who lost his sister, who killed his sister, even if on accident. maybe he never was able to cope with that.

he wont see his sister in starclan. he probably wont see his mother, either. he doenst know what happens to loners. sasha told them, once. the wind and the sky and the leaves. becoming a part of the world, again. energy that can never truly die, just change shape.

but that was so long ago. he’s nearly a warrior, now. who remembers the stories they were told as kids?

anyways.

hawkpaw becomes the medicine cat.

he’s got two sets of beliefs rattling around in his head--starclan, everything the clans are telling him, and half-remembered stories from his mother, that moth remembers best of them all, forever trapped as a 4 moon old kit. and somewhere along the line these have been mashed together, into one big: starclan isnt letting moth in, because she died a loner. starclan wont ever let moth in but they’re going to take me when i die and i wont let them. i wont let them tear us apart.

it’s not easy. riverclan says he’d need a sign to become a medicine cat, but since when have the dead done that? they’re dead. moth is a ghost at his side, and she watches the flowers, and the bees, and remarks about thunderclan medicine cats that hawk can’t help but be begrudgingly fond of, if only for her. 

but he can do this. he has to.

hawkpaw fakes a sign. hawkpaw becomes medicine cat.

hawkpaw goes to the moonpool, and the stars tell him the same thing the clans do: there is no place for your sister here. our heavens are for worthy clan cats only.

hawk is still the villain here, just...in a different way. if this were a warriors book he’d be a villain flat-out, a med cat turning his back on starclan, who lied and cheated his way into this role, who never cared about anybody but his dead sister. but this isn’t a warriors book.

tadpole is the hero. hawk looks at the stars and tells them to their faces if you wont let my sister in, then i’ll make you regret it. i’ll show everyone that you’re nothing. that they worship cats that arent even ghosts. cats that are trapped. maybe youre wrong. maybe moth isnt the one youre keeping out. maybe shes the free one.

hawk plays the long game, though. gets his full name. learns medicines, how to heal.

how to harm.

moth watches him from the shadows. tells him kit-stories about rebirth.

the clans dont believe in that. hawk doesnt know what he is. he doesnt either.

theyre all trapped. thats what he believes.

he sets a trap for mudfur. a fox-trap down by the lake. then he, hawkfrost, will be the only link riverclan has to the stars, and he won’t listen to a word they say.

tadpole is the one to find out, to intervene before mudfur dies. to say hawk, you betrayed us all!

you betrayed me first, says hawk. me and moth both.

moth is dead! says tadpole. you can’t let her go!

you follow the words of the dead, says hawk in return, thats all the clans do. all mudfur did. he didnt want me to be his apprentice. he needed the dead to tell him what to do. what kind of life is that? and if you agree with what he did, how is it any different than me and moth? at least i know she’s real. that she’s our sister. the clans would let her die.

and so tadpole kills his brother with a stake through the heart.

he thinks he can see moth for a second. a flash against the blood.

hawk dies. he doesnt die a clan cat.

was it worth it? tadpole asks.

im going to be with moth, hawk says. youre going to go to starclan.

why dont you answer that question?

...

yeah thats my moth ghost au. is this anything? who knows! its certainly not in any way fleshed out, just the barest bones of an idea. i want leafpool to still get her ‘blood will spill blood’ prophecy--maybe she and hawk become friends, somewhere in there. who knows.

ghost moth man. fun to think about.

#warrior cats #mothwing #hawkfrost #tadpole #i write #anyways time to go to bed its fully one thirty am #i have to wake up early tommorow #i have plans #this is what warrior cats does to you

[acescreations]

Roleplay Transcript (pt. 1)

So this is an old roleplay I got permission from my RP partner to post to my writing blog. I guess revisiting this is kind of a birthday gift to myself and also an apology gift to all of you guys for not writing for shit.

Warnings: Fighting, swearing, violence, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, homophobia, panic attacks

Ship(s): Platonic Analogical

Word Count: 12,553

When Logan went to school on his first day of junior year, he was filled with a strange sense of pride. Students shot glances at him, seemingly worried that Logan would for some reason pick a fight with them, which he would only really do if they were being a jerk and deserved it. Teachers read his name off the attendance list with a hopeless tone upon realizing they had Logan, before looking up with a disappointed resignation when they saw Logan's patch of electric blue hair. Logan had built up a reputation of being strong, of being tough. Just about every kid in school knew about him, whether they be the bullies he fought, the kids he was defending from the bullies, or just the people who saw the fights he was in.

Virgil’s first day at Mindset High was pretty scary. He didnt make friends easily, and he felt like everyone was judging him. He wore a soft lavender hoodie and royal purple sweat pants. Everyone seemed scared of this guy called Logan. I mean, he seemed so grumpy.. He sighed, sitting next to Logan.

Logan blinked in surprise as he watched another student sit down next to him. Most people tried to avoid him as much as possible, so he usually sat alone during class. Even when there were only enough desks for each student in the classroom, people usually pulled their desk a distance away after even the slightest glance from Logan. He guessed this kid sitting next to him hadn't heard of his reputation yet. Well, unfortunately for him, the two were in Logan's least favorite class: history. The class that Logan now associated with whitewashed nationalist propaganda, and arguing with the teacher.

Virgil decided that he would at least get to know this strange man that everyone seemed so.. reluctant to like？ “Uh, hello, I’m.. well, if..  I’m Virgil.” He said tamely, he hoped that they could.. maybe talk？A friend would be nice.

Logan looked over at Virgil with an even, if not cold, expression. That wasn't a name he recognized, so this was probably a new student, which explained why they were actually talking to him. "Logan," he said shortly. They'd learn soon enough that Logan was someone you didn't want to be associated with if you want to have even just a neutral social standing.

Virgil nodded nervously. The dude seemed to be angry at him？Did he provoke him？Should he move seats？ He sighed as he looked down at his work.

Logan put his feet up on the table in front of him, pulling out his phone as he waited for the teacher to, as he put it, "begin his attempt at brainwashing a class of impressionable teenagers."

“Today we shall learn about the history of people that.. well.. people who.. the homosexuals.. and.. others.” Virgil was completely stunned, before immediately grtting dissapointed. “Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” He mumbled.

"Oh hell no," Logan said out loud. Literally everyone in the room probably already guessed about Logan not being straight, so he didn't have anything to lose from being vocal about his distaste over the lesson. "Oh, FUCK no." Underneath his iwn complaining, however, he heard Virgil's much more quiet complaint. Okay, so this guy is actually pretty chill. That's good to know. By "chill" Logan meant "not a smallminded conservative" but those pretty much meant the same thing to him.

Virgil sighed. “This.. is fine.” He said. He was a closeted gay boy, he didnt need this. “Now, this shall be respectful..” The teacher rolled her eyes. “Now, what do we know about.. you know.. those people.”

Logan heard what Virgil said, but to him, this most certainly was not fine. He had already picked his battles, and he picked all of them. "If it's gonna be respectful then why don't you just say the word 'Gay'?" he yelled at the teacher.

The class went dead silent. Virgil sighed softly. If someone found out he was gay, he would die on the inside. “Well, as you all know, the bible said that homosexuals.. will rot in hell.”

"FALSEHOOD!" Logan screamed, slamming his hands on the table as he stood up. "Respectful my ass! And how is this even history?!" Logan would go on, but if he's learned anything from the debate team, it's to let people keep saying stupid shit for Logan to prove wrong.

“Homosexuality is a diease. Now, now more recent years, we have homosexuality shoved down our throats. This is causing more parents to force their children to be gay. This all started because a black trans-” “Please stop talking..” Virgil groaned, tempted to just bash his head into the table.

"Gayness is NOT a disease," Logan said, smacking his hand on the table as he began talking over the teacher. "It's a human characteristic just like height or eye color. Gayness is NOT being 'shoved down our throats,'" he smacked the table again, "people are just getting introduced to labels they didn't originally have. Parents are NOT forcing their children to be gay-" smack "- most are actually beating and throwing their children out of their homes for being gay. But you know what? You just keep talking. Maybe one of these days you'll actually say something intelligent."

“You come from a biased pretense！You only see the side of the homosexuals, thats why you are one of the-” “OH, FOR FUCKS SAKE, CHANGE THE GOD DAMN SUBJECT YOU-” “Damn pastel！Didnt know you could speak.” A guy called out.

Logan immediately turned and shot a glare at the person who insulted Virgil, forgetting the current feud with the teacher for a moment. "If you're going to waste oxygen like that, at least keep it relevant to the conversation." Logan then turned back to the teacher. "You're the fucking biased one, you homophobe!" he shouted, pointing a finger at the teacher as he leaned nearly halfway across the table to yell at him.

“I am not a homophobe！I like.. the lesbians.” The teacher smirked, as Virgil began to laugh. Hes just,, this teacher, how did you get a job？ ”Fine. We will move onto a differ-”

For once in his life, Logan is so stunned by by what he's hearing reaches a loss for words. "How did you even get your teaching degree, you fucking creep?"

“I try to act respectful, and you insult me？I think people like you just stir up drama to draw attention to yourself.” Virgil had stopped laughing. He felt.. guilty. He shouldnt have laughed. Maybe the teacher was right？

Logan went completely silent, his hands curling into fists. "Don't. You. Ever. Generalize me. Like that." Then, to make sure he didn't try to physically fight his teacher, he walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Virgil watched Logan leave, watched everyone whispering about how freaky Logan was. How gay he was.. Virgil stayed quiet and refused to speak to anyone.

Logan stormed down the hallway, absolutely fuming. He ended up in the school's gym, knowing there wasn't a gym class that period. He let out a shout of frustration as he punched a wall, which hurt, obviously, but it satisfied him and let out some of his anger. After that he just stood there, fist against the wall, breathing heavily.

Virgils scheduele was lost, so he asked around for his next class. They led him to the schools gym, and left him there, lost and confused. Time to make an unlikely friend.

Logan had since moved to sit on the bleachers, glancing up to glare as Virgil entered the gym. He was currently in a mindset that nobody would be friendly towards him, especially right now.

Virgil felt the glare, but sighed. He did promise Patton to make one friend at this god forsaken hell hole. He slowly walks up to Logan. “Uhrm, hi？”

"What do you want?" Logan growled. He recognized that this was the person who was sitting beside him in history, but he still felt like he'd antagonize Logan anyway. Most people did anyway.

He gave Logan a weak smile. “A..Are you okay？” He tilted his head. ”And where is the rest of our class？” He expected at least one othed person to come in. Poor thing.

"I'm fine," Logan snapped defensively, in a counter-productive attempt at convincing Virgil that that was actually true. "And there isn't a class in here right now." Logan didn't have a gym class at all. He was actually skipping a class right now, but it wasn't like his teacher would miss him anyway.

“Oh..” He stammered, looked down at the floor guiltily. “Do you know where S7 is？” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And.. wait. Why arent you in class.. oh.”

Logan sighed as he stood up. "Yeah, come on." He gestured for Virgil to follow him with a small shrug of a shoulder.

Virgil smiled. “Thank you, Logan.” He said softly, following behind him, glad that Logan would do this for him.

Logan shrugged as he began leading Virgil to his classroom. "Whatever," he muttered. Whatever it took to get himself his alone time in the gym. He doubted it would do Virgil's social reputation much good to see him with Logan, though.

“To be honest, that ass of a teacher really should be fired. What kind of creep just likes lesbians？” He tried to make small talk.

"Basically the entire American public does, actually." Logan was pretty sure it was a rhetorical question, but it wasn't like he was wrong, he thought.

“oh.. well.. thats..” Virgil sighed. “Why were you there alone instead of hanging out with friends？” He seemed rather done.

Logan glanced back at Virgil, although he didn't stop walking. "Because there are classes going on right now," Logan said. It was true, although Logan wasn't hanging out with friends because he didn't have any. He just wasn't going to tell Virgil that.

“Dont you have a badass like, gang？Like everyone says？” He tilted his head, very confused. “Oh.. are you.. uh..” He was genuinely confused.

"A gang?" Logan said in mild surprise and disbelief. That was seriously what people said about him? Logan guessed he underestimated his own reputation.

“Yeah. Also, apparently you dont like when people steal your role, so you are going to beat my ass. If you are, then I guess do it here.” He has no fear for death anymore. This school sucked any hope of caring out of him.

"What exactly do people say my role is then?" Logan hadn't intended on carrying on a conversation for this long, or really at all, but he couldn't help but be curious as to what people said about him.

He stared up at the sky, he really didnt want to say this. Dear god, please strike him with lighting. Oh, no lighting？F- “You’re the bad boy that all the girls swoon over. Apparently you’re soft and sweet on the inside.” He scoffed slightly. His defense is up.

Logan stiffened as he continued walking, gagging a little. That was it. It was official. Logan hated his reputation. He supposed he'd have to work harder on establishing his reputation as being stone cold and heartless. He wasn't going to stop picking fights with bigots though, he knew that much. "Well, here's your class," he said to Virgil, stopping in front of a classroom before immediately turning go back to the gym instead of the class he had that period.

“Thanks Logan.” He gave him a weak grin. “Logan Man, Fighting off bigots day after day.” He scoffed, before it turned to a light giggle, and Virgil went into class. What a dork. A nice dork.

Logan glanced back as he walked off, turning back after Virgil walked into class. As he neared the gym again, he glanced down at his left knuckles. After punching the wall, they became red and sore, and Logan was starting to regret punching the wall. His hand still stung.

This is why you dont start a war on walls, you idiot. Virgils class exprience was.. intresting. They made up rumors about him and Logan, and Virgil wanted to vomit. Love always made him feel weird and uncomfortable, but hes absolutely sure hes just gay.

Logan sat back down in the gym bleachers. He didn't know what he was doing back here instead of going to class. He guessed he pretty much didn't want to hear whatever his classmates would say about him. That was actually the first time he stormed out in the middle of class like that, and he assumed that was what people would be talking about right now.

They began to gossip about Logan having a girlfriend, boyfriend, and then him being in a gang. Now they all think Logans a fucking gang leader. Good luck talking to anyone, Logie.

After sitting in the gym with nothing to do for a while, Logan stood back up and headed to the band room. That was where he usually went when he wanted alone time, the gym had just been closer that time. As he walked down, he realized that being a musician probably contributed to people thinking he's "soft and sweet on the inside" but fuck it. Music is probably the reason he doesn't throw hands with every mildly unpleasant person in his vicinity.

Virgil cant stop laughing at the pure idiocity, wanting to just record this and send it to Logan... Eh, later. Once he befriends Logan. He nods to himself as the bell rung. Now he could go find Logan！And hang out with him！

Logan had just reached the band room by the time the bell rang. "God dammit," he said loudly. Now he'd have to choose between letting out some energy and missing another class. Logan sat down behind the drumset in the room, pulling out his phone and earbuds. He figured his teacher wouldn't miss him, and really, who cares if the teacher calls his house? Who gives a shit? Certainly not him. So he put on a pair of fingerless gloves he kept with him, turned on his music, and played along to American Idiot.

Virgil was going to class, but heard... music？He quietly walks towards the sounds, peering in. They had a music room？！ Logan plays music？！ He quietly attempted to sneak in, to be able to hear better. He ended up tripping into a guitar, miraculously not breaking it.

Most people would've heard Virgil tripping as he snuck in, but not only was Logan listening to really loud music, but he was also playing a really loud instrument. But really, neither of those things meant much, because Logan was in The Zone. It would take a lot to break his focus.

Virgil was extremely impressed. Logan really was in the mood. He sat on the floor, just admiring the music.

Logan looked up once the song had ended, quickly pulling out his earbuds and jolting upwards once he saw Virgil sitting there. "What the hell are you doing here?"

“...Uhhhhh, I thought this was the cafeteria？Nice pl-playing.” He quickly stood up, immediately smackin into a cupboard and just sighing softly.

"Of course this isn't the fucking cafeteria, do you see any tabl-" Logan went quiet for a moment when he saw the knocked over guitar. He practically threw himself over the drumset as he ran to check on the guitar, because despite the fact that the school technically owned all of the instruments, that was Logan's Guitar. "The fuck did you do?!" Logan shouted as he checked the guitar over for any damage.

He quickly stood up. “See-ing a-as this isnt the cafeteria, I-I’m going to-” He began to speed for thr door.

Logan looked back up once he was sure his guitar was alright. Once he saw Virgil heading for the door, it occurred to him what he had just done. "I, I didn't mean to snap," he said apologetically, rubbing the back of his head as he looked away from Virgil. This new body language was a complete change from how he usually acts.

Virgil paused, reluctantly rubbing the back of his neck. “U-Uh, oh, ok-okay. I’m.. I’m sorry. You.. You clearly werent..” All words just seemed to die in his mouth.

Logan sighed as he stood back up. "Whatever, just, try not to knock any instruments over, okay?" Logan mumbled as he began walking past Virgil out the door. Okay, so he didn't mumble, but compared to how clearly he normally speaks he might as well have been.

"Thank you, L-Logan." He stammered. He didnt move, just awkwardly standing there. "O-Oh, uh, of course.. Uh, can I sit with you at lunch?" He managed through jumbled stammering.

Logan glanced back at Virgil as he walked out, trying to understand the logic of wanting to be around somebody who just yelled at you for something that wasn't intentional. Logan was hoping it wasn't anything like Logan being nice, because if Logan was the nicest person Virgil knew, well that's just sad. "Sure, whatever." Logan shrugged. He didn't actually know if he was actually going to stay until lunch, since he had been planning on leaving for the rest of the day. He shrugged at himself as he left the band room. Logan supposed he'd find out by lunch.

Virgil just followed after him, quietly. Hey, Logans the nicest guy here at this hell hole of a school, Well, the nicest guy he has met. He looks around, feeling awkward. Oh god. Why is he bothering Logan. He doesnt want you here. Just leave. "Uh-"

Logan attempted to continue walking as normal, despite the ever present awareness of Virgil following him. After all, by the looks of this kid, he's definitely harmless. Although after a while it became hard to ignore the little lost puppy of Virgil. "What are you following me for?" Logan asked over his shoulder. "Don't you have a class or something?" Honestly, how is anyone supposed to let out some steam when someone is following them everywhere?

Virgil flinched. "uh.. yeah.. sure.." He mumbled, and he quickly left. He didnt know why he cared so much. Oh wait, yes he did. Because he wanted Logan's friend. Why? Because he found Logan cool.

Logan sighed once Virgil left. He didn't really know why. Was he disappointed? Logan actually thought he might be. That was probably the longest anyone had ever voluntarily been around him, after all. Either way, Logan still had no idea what to do at this point, especially considering that if he left before school ended he'd definitely have to deal with the consequences soon enough.

Virgil headed off into the bathroom. He just needed somewhere to stay calm, and clear his head. Everything just made him feel horrible. He quietly locked himself into a stall, keeping himself quiet.

Logan leaned against a wall in the hallway, getting out his phone as he debated his options. If he left school now, Virgil wouldn't have to worry about his mistake of wanting to be around him during lunch, but his mom would be pissed if she found out he didn't even stay half of the day. But if he stayed and went to class, he'd half a lot of pent up anger with him during class, and his home had probably already been called due to him not having made it to this class period, so he'd still probably hear about it anyway.

Virgil calmed himself down, and went back outside. He looked around, wondering if Logan was still around. He.. He hoped so. He is not going to that hell hole alone.

Logan sighed as he put his phone away, finally heading to class. He was pretty sure that it was the world's most stupid desicion for Virgil to want to be anywhere near him, but as a new kid who clearly had no idea how to survive in this school, he probably wouldn't be very safe if he was alone during lunch.

Virgil quietly sighed, deciding to go to class. He hid his eyes with his hair. He slunk into the back of the class, trying to keep away from everyone.

Logan managed to keep himself from throwing hands for the rest of his morning class, heading down to the lunchroom afterwards. He stood against a wall and watched people enter without personally eating.

Once that hellish excuse for a class was done, Virgil quietly found Logan and walked up to him. “Uh, hi.”

Logan looked over at Virgil, honestly kind of surprised that he committed to his decision to spend the lunch period with Logan. "Hey," he said briefly, looking back across the room.

He gave him a pathetic grin, trying to not be awkward, but the boy radiates awkward. “Uh, uhm, er, hi.” He began to play with his hands, biting his lip.

"You don't talk to people much, do you?" Logam didn't look back at Virgil as he spoke. Was he hoping Virgil would decide Logan actually was unpleasant to be around and leave? Yeah, Logan thought he was.

“N-Not really.” He mumbled, not moving, copying Logans pose. He wasnt exactly enjoying the people staring at him, but hes happy having a friend.

Logan's surprise grew as Virgil started copying him. He didn't know why, but that was really unexpected. "Aren't you going to eat or something?" Logan was determined to not let his surprise, or really any other emotion, show.

Virgil shook his head, deciding a verbal response wasnt worth it. Plus, the food looked like slop. He fidgetted with his hands, trying to spark a conversation.

Logan glanced over at Virgil, trying to figure out what to do in this situation. God, this kid is making me more awkward just by being around me. It's a wonder he's survived this long.

Virgil thought about his family. His family sucked. It would be nice to know what raised that hardcore lad. “Uh... Whats your family like？” He said softly. God fUcking damn it, Virgil. You cant ask about anything N O RM A L-

The change in Logan's posture was immediate. His back straightened, his shoulders became more squared, his hands tightened into fists. "Why do you care?" Logan's voice was cold and hard as knives.

Virgil shrunk back, his eyes wide. “I-I dont know？I’m just trying to make conversations..” He trailed off, going silent. Wait. Why was Logan caring so much. “Oh god, are you an orp-”

Logan scoffed at that second comment, giving Virgil the slightest shake of his head and somehow managing to make those small actions violent and angry. I wish I was that lucky.

Virgil flinched. He felt his heart race at those angry movements. “Uh, er.. sorry.” Virgil practically sped off, he feels sick.

Logan turned and watched him go. If he were in any other mood, he'd probably feel bad for scaring Virgil like that. But right now he didn't even care, he simply turned back to glare at the rest of the people in the room.

The whispers of the room continued, questioning Logan and why he doesnt like his family

Logan didn't say anything to anyone, although when he heard someone talking about him he'd shoot a glare at them to get them to shut up.

The cafeteria was awkward and quiet. Nobody wanted to talk to Logan, or get beaten up.

Eventually Logan got tired of the stares and went back to the gym. He would've went to the band room, but there was a class there at the time, so he had to go with the next best thing.

Virgil was sitting behind the bleachers, desperately trying to calm himself. Logan hates him. Everyone hates him. He hates this hell-hole of a school.

Logan didn't notice Virgil as he came in, walking over to a padded part of the wall so he could punch it and not hurt himself again. He punched the wall, then drew his hand back and punched again, and again, and again. He hated his mother. He hated every single boyfriend she had ever had. He hated this school. He hated that he was always alone. He hated that this one time somebody actually wanted to be around him, he was determined to scare them off. He hated everything right now.

The punches just terrified Virgil even more. Oh great. Now a murderer was after him. He let out a strangled gasp, as his world began to spin round, making Virgil shake.

Logan paused when he heard the gasp behind him. He turned and finally noticed Virgil behind him, and of course it was only after he started panicking. Logan stood there, trying to figure out if he should go try to help, considering he was probably the thing causing Virgil to panic and being closer might just make it worse.

He couldnt breathe. The gasps became more frequent. Fuck. Hes gonna die here. Hes gonna die alone. Jesus this is getting sad.

Soon enough, Logan decided on walking over, kneeling down in front of Virgil. It wasn't like he was getting any better without Logan interacting. "Hey, Virgil?" Logan started in the most even voice he could produce. "I'm gonna need you to calm down, can you do that? Just focus on breathing." Fuck, is this what you're supposed to do? Logan honestly didn't have a clue, but from what he did know about panic attacks this seemed like an appropriate response.

Virgil trembles, before his blood stopped. Logan. “I-I’m sorry！I’m sorry！I-I-I-I...” He hears that Logans hear to help. “I-I cant- I-I’m a failure！”

Upon hearing Virgil's words, Logan's hands curled into fists. He was immediately ready to fight on behalf of someone he didn't even know. Then Logan reminded himself that right now, fighting was not in fact going to help. He took a deep breath, forcing his hands to relax again before continuing to talk to Virgil. "No, you're not a failure, there's no need to be sorry." Logan slowly reached out and took one of Virgil's hands in his own, checking for his reaction.

Virgil jolted, scramming away, apologizing. “I said- I said sorry！P-Please.. Leave me alone.” He sobbed. “I-I-I-” He felt his throat constrict.

Logan quickly pulled his hands away from Virgil, feeling guilt like a stab in his gut. This was all because of him, wasn't it? Maybe he should just leave, Virgil did tell Logan to leave him alone, didn't he? And Logan was pretty sure he just made it worse because he had no idea how to help, so Virgil would probably be better off if Logan left him alone.

Virgil whimpers, god hes so pathetic. Such a useless person. “Pathetic.. Useless..” He mumbled softly, looking away from Logan. The attack was beginning to die down, but he wouldnt be calm for a while.

Logan opened his mouth, about to correct Virgil on what he was saying about himself, but then he hesitated, and soon closed his mouth again. Logan looked down at the floor as he slowly stood back up and left, his endgoal being the doors leading out of the school. Logan officially decided he was done with being around people for a good while. Logan easily ignored the stares of the people in the halls. Most people took one look at Logan's overall demeanor and knew not to stare, so Logan was able to get out the school doors without even being interuppted.

Virgil made sure to keep close to Logan. He felt so guilty, he can’t believe he was so stupid. He had to have Logan come help him from a panic attack！All he is, is a panicky, clingy, failure.

Logan sighed and turned around as he got outside the door, facing Virgil. "Don't you have something better to do? Like class or something?" Logan was trying not to snap, especially since Virgil had just gotten out of a panic attack, but his voice was still harsh. Logan just wanted an escape from people, and now this little lost puppy of a person was becoming the first and only obstacle to that.

He kept his mouth shut. He felt so awkward. Like he owed Logan and apology. For seeing that. For seeing how much of a mess he was.. Yeah, he left soon after Logan spoke.

Logan walked away from the school after that, although he didn't really know where he was going. All he really knew at the time was that he wanted to escape from people, despite the fact that he didn't know where he could go that didn't have people. Logan ended up going over to the park, deciding that the park would have the least amount of people. After a while Logan had calmed down enough to tolerate human connection again, and walked down to the local café, because despite its black color, the fabric of Logan's jacket did little to protect him from the cold. He almost smiled as he walked through the door of the café, looking at the pride flag sticker on the window. Logan sat down in a booth, although since he was a regular the staff weren't expecting him to order anything.

Virgil was nervous. He had gotten lost on his way home, and was walking down to a cafe. He was hungry, after all. He looked at his phone, cringing at its dead battery. But he managed to smile. Today started off great, at least. Logan was.. his friend？Well, he seemed to begin to tolerate Virgil. And hes fine with that. He ordered a cup with a long list of ingredients. His own list of “Fuck me up” ingredients.

Logan didn't notice Virgil walking in. He had started dozing off in his seat when a waiter walked over, giving him a plate of eggs and toast. "It's on the house. You look like you could use it," they said with a smile as they left the table. They were right about that; Logan hadn't eaten all day. Logan glanced back over, guilt weighing down his shoulders as he began eating. He glanced over at his phone as he ate. The only reason it wasn't dead was because he was at the table with the outlet. That was basically His Table and both the visitors and staff knew this. Once Logan finished eating, he put his head atop his hand and began dozing off again. The poor kid hadn't slept well in ages.

The waitress did NOT look happy that Virgil had such a long list, but, he paid and ordered it, so she had to. When he asked for an outlet seat, he was pointed into Satan- I mean, Logans direction. “Oh, hi Logan.” Virgil said softly, holding his head phone.

Logan was partially asleep at the time, although he had trained himself to not fall asleep entirely, so when he heard his name he was immediately awake and alert. He put his arm down on the table as he looked at Virgil. "Hey," he said shortly, realizing that this was the kid from school, which meant school was over. Logan hadn't really been paying attention.

“Uh, Uhmm...” He felt really awakward.. Was there any other outlet booths？Logan looked like he would murder Virgil if he sat there.

Logan raised an eyebrow at Virgil, drumming his fingers against the table. Honestly, if there was anywhere that he was least likely to murder someone, it was that café. It was quite honestly the most comfortable place he had ever been in, and he wasn't about to throw that away by getting into a fight.

Virgil looked away. They say, if you look Logan in the eye, you’ll turn into stone. “Sorry. I’ll just take the bus.” Yes. The bus. That he has no.clue about. Tbh, If I were Virgil？I’d rather walk.

Logan stared at Virgil. What the hell was he talking about? "We don't have a bus." Did Virgil just move here? Also why was he talking about a bus inside a café? What the hell was his train of thought?

Transfer student. Yes, he did just move here. Thats.. Thats kinda why he wasnt as fearful of Logan. ”Oh.” He said simply. “Fu-”

Logan sighed in confusion as he looked away from Virgil, bringing up his hand again to set his head on and closing his eyes. He didn't have any sort of obligation to interact with Virgil, so if he wasn't going to actually say anything then Logan was going to try to stock up on light sleep.

“ck.” He sighed. He awkwardly shuffled into the booth, just wanting to charge his phone, man.

Logan opened his eyes again, having expected Virgil to just stand awkwardly or leave. He glanced at the coffee Virgil had as he sat down, reading the ingredient label. "That's incredibly unhealthy for you." Logan didn't know why he was starting conversation when he could be sleeping, but he was aware of how much Virgil's coffee could fuck someone up.

“Eh. Nobody really cares.” He took a sip, waiting for his phone to do him a favour and charge. One percent, and the most aggressive spam of messages blasts through his phone. “Oh. I’m popular today.” He muttered. Of course, his parents had guests today. They had to pretend they cared.

Logan watched the phone screen as the messages showed up on the screen. Honestly he was pretty surprised by the spam, he barely ever got any messages, and he definitely didn't remember the last time his mom texted him. She generally saved her barrage of harassment for when they were face-to-face. He genuinely didn't think whatever the messages were about could be good.

They werent. They were degrading messages about his intelligence. “Ah！My mom.. uh, says that.. I gotta go.. God, shes so kind.” He made a convincing act. “See you, Punk.” He gave him a pathethically weak smile. He had no way home. Sadness hours.

Logan didn't believe the act for a second. Everything he read on that screen were things he could practically hear his mother saying to him, and "kind" wasn't even the last word he'd use to describe her. Nonetheless, he understood the need to get home. Logan sighed at the smile. Honestly it was kind of sad. "You don't know where you're going, do you?" Logan asked, deadpan. Seeing how lost Virgil was in school, the entire town probably seemed like an actual maze to him.

Virgil flinched at the deadpan tone. “Ah, well, uhrm, yeah..” He muttered, allowing his bangs to cover his eyes. “I’ll find my way home, I dont need a gang member to escort me.” He muttered, a bit of a bitter tone in his voice. He doesnt know why he said that. Maybe to drive Logan away？But he adored Logan！Logan was so cool.. God damn, you stalker, stop thinking about him！ “...sorry.” He muttered, getting up.

Logan sighed and looked away. Gang member. Is that really how people saw him? He only meant to scare off jerks and bigots, and he honestly wanted to be supportive of basically anyone who got picked on or bullied. Apparently those people couldn't trust him either. He knew he couldn't be surprised though, nobody in their right mind would trust somebody who got so angry they had to punch a wall to feel just a little better. "Whatever," Logan muttered. "I just hope you know that everyone's gonna assume you're queer now." Logan jabbed a finger towards the pride flag sticker he had looked at on the way in.

The look of sheer terror as he saw the said flag was hilarious. He had tried his best to act like a straight guy. “I’m straight.” He mumbled. “Uhm, are you gay, Logan？”

Logan almost laughed at what was to him an obvious lie. Almost. "I think I'm as straight as you are." Straight as a rainbow, that is.

Virgil looked afraid. But then again, when hes with Logan... Wait. Beforehand, Virgil wasnt scared or worried. Aww！You turned someone who, rather blindly, trusted you, against you！But isnt that what you do best, Logan？

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #roleplay #logan sanders #virgil sanders #punk logan #pastel virgil #tw fighting #tw swearing #tw violence #tw verbal abuse #tw emotional abuse #verbal abuse #emotional abuse #tw homophobia #TW panic attack

[holycalf]

i started watching sku bc of your blog (and i really enjoy it!) but i dont get why you seem to like shiori but not ruka....i mean it seems like his intentions were a lot better than hers ever were tbfh am i missing something? not saying he went about things GREAT but....at least he actually seemed to care. shiori was just a bitch for the sake of being a bitch it seemed like...

hi! im glad ure enjoying it! it can definitely be a lot at times, and i think the first 12 eps can rub ppl the wrong way so props to u for getting thru those (even tho i liked em :) ) this is gonna be long so if u feel like reading an essay feel free to read under the cut

um.. i dont really know where to begin tbh? i mean you cant really talk about any of these characters without talking abt the other two so.... this is gonna be long.

so lets take shiori, who has a very classic case of internalized homophobia. which is confirmed by ikuhahras outtake on ep. 17 which states the following

 “I finally realized the truth. To think that she loved me back! What a miracle! But...‘The loser in love is the one who lets their heart be ruled by it.’Everyone's adopted a provocative attitude toward someone of the opposite sex that they like at least once or twice, to get that person to notice them. So it's okay if I do that.This love will crumble if we touch. But when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away .That's why I decided to keep your love prisoner. To make sure that you love me forever. That game will make our love ‘eternal.’ I'm sure of it.We were ‘lovers lost from the beginning.”

so shioris in love with juri. im not sure if thats something u caught onto or not but its definitely the quintessence of her character, and needs to be considered when we consider her against ruka- since its a shared affection. also, i just like shiori, i dont necessarily think shes GOOD i just enjoy watching her and she feels very raw. shiori has a crippling inferiority complex, you can even tell through off handed conversations with her friends in hallways she exaggerates her stories to be more liked. juri is someone who has things come easy to her, and doesnt even really seem to care or notice. in the shows canon shes: liked by the student body, liked by teachers, admired by men (and girls too), academically inclined, good at bowling, captain of fencing club (and likely the most talented duelist- since shes the only one utena never properly beats) and a MODEL?????????? and shiori, at least in her own eyes, is painfully mundane. growing up next to someone who seems to have everything go in their favor, all of the while youre harboring having feelings for them (and jealous that youre among SO many suitors) is so frustrating! especially when you dont believe to have any at all. the elevator sequence when she discovers juris locket is a bit of a power trip for shiori, and also just a sort of confusion. shioris “why do you look at me like that?!” when she considers juri mid breakdown is a clear reflection of her own confusion, she may as well be saying “how could you possibly love me?”...but that was the black rose arc which all got undone anyways- so by the time we see shiori ruka arc she doesnt even know juris got the hots for her. when she first sees ruka, shes staring at juri first and only zeroes in on ruka once she hears people talking abt him. she takes ruka the same way she did that boy in middle school because he seems to be something coveted by the girls around her, its a very closeted gay girl move to decide to go for a boy just because other girls are into him... and it definitely helps that hes in such close contact w juri...he could easily be the one stored in that locket of hers, so why not take him? 

so then we have ruka, who the entire time we watch him is smug, condescending, and genuinely one of the most unpleasant characters on the show. by the end we learn hes in love with juri, so maybe this persona was embellished to push her towards revolution to “free her from shiori” or whatever but.... sorry i dont care LOL! the way he treated shiori ALONE was enough for me to dislike him, there was NO need to tear apart and embarrass the girl like that. he took clear advantage of her crush on juri. his locker is seen right next to juris, and shiori is pressed up against one of the two lockers, but we arent shown which,  “after all, that wasnt my sword,”....he knows shiori has been going to juris locker (and potentially polishing her sword but who knows. all we know is that she goes to juris locker.) and it is later revealed hes extra certain of her feelings because upon publically dumping her (another dick move) we hear her kinda stutter “I love you more than.... I love you more than anyone else” shes clearly beating around a bush because theyre in public, hes pinpointed she and juri are both into eachother, and instead of being a normal ass guy about it and just SETTING THEM UP and telling them to work their stuff out he chooses to, “out of love”  assault juri, emotionally manipulates the girl juri is in love with,  then inadvertantly cause juris locket to break which upsets her so deeply she forfeits her duel with utena. and upon that locket breaking he has the AUDACITY to think hes somehow freed her from something... when the girl is breaking down crying in the rain (the first and only time we ever see juri cry...even if its implied she does it in the shower that one time lol).......then just???dies??? like all he does in his time on the show is cause problems and die, all because he couldnt get over his feelings for a lesbian.... it just feels SO gross to me that he hides his assault and general abuse (can we talk abt how he likely took shioris virginity, JUST to break her down???) behind some icky hero complex

PLUS we see shiori at the end of that episode realize shes in that locket while juri is dueling, and we see her run up to juri at the end of the ep and it doesnt look malicious, it feels very...resolutiony? esp when you put it next to the miki/kozue closing scene of their car arc duel, which is explicitly bad terms, this feels more hopefully....suggesting some part of shiori has at least changed. ruka never got that luxury, he completely exploited two girls in order to add dramatic flare to his last few days and felt valid in doing so..... shiori never seemed to think her actions were JUSTIFIED.....which is sort of the point of the black rose arc where shiori is arguably at her worst........... the very ugliest part of ppl are brought out in those elevator sessions so thats what we see of shiori? 

sorry for the essay!! but i hope this helps and make sense :-) feel free to ask any more questions u have abt the show, and i hope u continue enjoying it! im assuming ure still watching it, i dont know how far u are but if u JUST finished 29 then that means ure getting to some of my fave episodes! (33,37,39 :) ) 

tl,dr: shiori never assaulted anyone

[jenna-jayde-the-renagade]

So my life has gone to shit.. I dont trust anybody anymore, and honest to god I cant help but keep thinking of ways to end it. My mom keeps telling me how to feel about this whole thing, that I should be grateful that i got in finally to see a specialist. Reality is I dont even trust those subhuman animals anymore, and frankly they're gonna have to earn my trust. After 4 fucking years, my life, my future being ruined. My mental health going downhill, all for the second time now. Add on to that, I dont get any meds for the pain so this has pushed me into addiction now for a second time. I've been dehumanized and humiliated, treated with nothing but the utmost disrespect while being stigmatized for being mentally ill, transgender and a recovering addict for most of it. They ignored me for 4 years, my body is damaged, and frankly help just might have came too little too late. I wont just suffer through the next one, the next time this happens I'm gonna end my life, my suffering on my own god damn terms. Atleast I still have control over that..

Fuck the canadian healthcare system. Some days I honestly just want to start selling drugs, and fly to a country where I can just pay to play and get the best care in the god damn world. Cause 4 years now I've been telling them to refer me to a specialist, I've been telling them that it's probably crohns or some other GI issue. They need to do a colonoscopy and a scope to find it, so that's what I would ask for. I would never get it, so i more or less gave up on the healthcare system. They would leave me on the floor thrashing in pain for hours. Treating me like a drug addict in withdrawal when I didnt even have any opioids in my system. I would be lucky if I got an IV for fluids, and even more lucky if they pumped me full of a bunch of over the counter drugs and others that didnt work like gravol, tauridol, buscopan, zofran, and haliperidol. I would tell them each time, that this was the hundredth time they tried gravol, and it doesnt help people when they're screaming in pain. They treat the nausea. Its bullshit because I am in so much pain that its making me nauseous and until they get rid of the pain, the vomiting is just gonna continue. They always treat me like I'm full of shit, and when I turn out to be right and continue puking, thrashing and screaming in pain, they just get angry at the fact they were wrong. Our doctors and nurses are a bunch of sociopathic, apathetic adult children who in my experience take pleasure in watching you suffer. The worse I get the more they smile. They are so stupid, blind almost because if their stupid fucking machine says I'm ok then I guess it's all in my head. They only think that theres nothing wrong with me because theyve only ever done a blood test or an xray. Never ever once have they done a single test that would have found the issue, crohns cant be found just on a blood test. The emergency room doctors think it can be, my family doctor and everybody else I've talked to says otherwise.

On January 1st I was having another flare up, and they shoved me in the psych observation room because they genuinely didnt want to deal with me. They ignore me, and I keep going in because I want help. I dont want to end up relapsing again cause I cant take the god damn pain! But nope, I get treated like a crazy person now.. they did it against my will. And they even tried to take my phone and my keys. I was puking constantly, I needed water to keep hydrated and they left me for 4 hours, locked in, no meds, no help or nothing. So I just cracked.. I had nothing to barf in, to wipe my nose with, or to wipe the cold sweat off me. So I puked in every corner of that room, I puked beside the bed especially because a mop wouldnt fit in there. I pissed in the corner, I would hack up some phlegm and spit it all over the floors and walls, I blew snot rockets on every surface too! After a while some nurse came in and gave me a barf bag. I threw it on the floor and just continued to puke over every hard surface in the place. I was puking every 5 seconds I swear, and the doctor finally came in at 3 hours and 15 minutes. At 3.5 hrs they give me two pills. I straight up tell them there is no point in even taking them. I couldnt even keep water down and these people are stupid enough to make me take pills? Come on. You need to hold it in for atleast an hour to see even the most minimal affects. I was puking every 5 seconds, to the point that I puked before I took the pills, and I puked them out the moment after I swallowed. They had given me a fucking gravol tab, and some Ativan, the latter of which I couldnt even hold under my tongue long enough. I barfed it onto the floor when it was half dissolved. They come back with this clear liquid shit in a shot glass. I swallowed it right after I puked. The liquid burned my insides, and i puked that shit out even quicker. I asked them to give me IV medications for that exact reason, I always ask for IV medications cause its literally a waste of your time and mine to just pump me full of pills when I can't keep them down and they hurt my tummy as they dissolve. They tell me to just "breathe deeply and relax" and to "just try jayden, you gotta try", so then I try, and when they end up being wrong, and I can't take shit. They end up saying that I'm manipulating, that I'm drug seeking or I'm not trying hard enough to make it work. Absolute bullshit, over the course of 4 years I have quite literally told them what to do. I have multiple family members with this disease, and my grandmother was ignored like this too. She told me to ask them for a colonoscopy and a scope, and to ask them to treat the pain, not the nausea cause the pain literally causes the nausea. The sooner the pain is gone the sooner I can be normal and tell them what's going on. Instead I'm left to suffer in the worst pain a human being can feel. I get treated like shit and told it's all in my head. I gave up on getting a diagnosis in year two. I just want to shoot dope whenever the pain comes. Dope atleast takes it away, after all they would be giving me some of the strongest shit they have at the hospital if I was some boomer with a sprained ankle. It would take the pain away. Thats for sure. Being a mentally ill, drug using, autistic tranny they just see that. I get nothing. No help, no answers, not even some relief when my screaming can be heard far and wide.

I want to die right now, and I keep trying to think of a painless way to do it.. buying $400 worth of street fentanyl and slipping into a nice, peaceful opioid coma seems like a wonderful idea right now.. that would end the fucking suffering atleast..

I wont be wearing a colostomy bag. Colostomy bags arent sexy, they are fucking disgusting and you cant just be body positive when you have a fucking bag full of your own shit hanging off you, and your only way of having penetrative sex sewed up permanently and taken away from me. Not like I could even be a decent fuck for anybody at this point anyways. Its painful to shit, let alone anything else. I dont want to give up food either. I love food, food is literally my life and the only way I have to bond with certain people! Like my family for example. Nothing makes me just want to slip.into that coma more then the worry of the future.

Will I be sitting at a family gathering eating bland gluten free, dairy free, all organic 100% vegan fair trade horse shit on a plate while my family actually gets to enjoy the food I used to be able to eat? Moms spaghetti, grandmas meat pies, the baked goods, fresh tomatoes out of my garden and others. A good fucking steak even? Cause honestly a birthday isnt a birthday if I dont have my birthday meal.

I know for a fact my body is damaged from 4 years of suffering. I used to bounce back, now it takes the wind out of my sails for a month.

Needless to say, I just want to fucking die more then anything else. Positivity and anything I love is gone, and all that I have left is knowing that Alberta health services, coast mountain health services, providence health services, and interior health services have all fucked me in the biggest way humanely possible. So thankful for free fucking healthcare!!

You get what you bloody well pay for!!

#thisiswhattranslookslike #girlslikeus #transgender #mtf #trans #transition #hrt #transgender girl #transformation #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronically sick #crohns disease

[luvreyn]

My Manhwa List (2020) Part 7

It’s been a crazy 24 hours (more or less) for me. How are you all? Hope you’re doing better. Anyways, onto the list!

Forever Mine

Description:

He will follow every command I give him. He will follow me to the ends of the earth. He is Forever Mine.

THOUGHTS & WHY READ THIS:

- plot = 5/5 kinda simple yet so marvelous idk if it because the art helped to but this is so great

- honestly didn’t expect the revelation at the beginning

- art = 5/5 because i love it! look at how pretty they are!

- same author/illustration as sweet spooky darling 

- fact: i read this in one sitting that’s how good and captivating it was

- the characters are so cute

- no heavy drama 

- a personal favorite 

- i only have good words about this

- friends to lovers trope aye sir

- although i wish certain characters were given spotlight to tell their story, i understand that it wasnt the focus of the author 

- it’s so good that i didn’t even notice that i was at the last chapter type of good!

- they have the best friends

- the 3rd parties arent villainous at all so plus points

- verdict, highly recommended! i enjoyed it so much & i hope you do too!

Broken Melody

Description:

Minhee used to be a world-famous piano prodigy until one mistake sent her life spiraling. Her confidence shaken, her family broken and her life in ruins, all she can do is hope for a chance to make things better. That's when she meets Eun Hyun, the neighborhood piano teacher whose life has been filled with tragedies of his own. The world breaks everyone, it's up to us to pick up the pieces and glue ourselves back together. 

THOUGHTS & WHY READ THIS:

- plot = 5/5 very perfectly complicated & there’s a lot of elements present that gave the story flavors 

- art = 4.5/5 

- tbh i drop this some time in 2019 cause some parts were dark & depressing & heavy for me (and i wasnt in the best mindset that time) so just to warn you guys in case :) 

- mentor x student (the thing is, they were connected through one passion and she was no sexualized in any way, it was an emotional connection)

- d r a m a 

- lots of drama!!

- the character’s motivations!!! they all have this strong urge and motivation to achieve their goal 

- the end justifies the means <- probably their motto

- p i a n o (main reason i got drawn in)

- verdict, recommended if you crave for drama! 

By the Way, Dragon Mistress!

Description:

Though he had lost his family at a young age, through the help of Duchess Orleans and the Emperor, Karl grew up excellently. But at the banquet Karl attends to tell the Duchess of the Emperor's meaningful words, a questionable explosion takes place. Duchess, what is your true identity?!

THOUGHTS & WHY READ THIS:

- plot = 3/5 

- art = 3.5/5 

- only few chaps so give it a try!

- older girl x younger guy

- will probably gave it a higher rating if it didn’t felt rush or was executed properly

- the mistress is a strong independent woman amen

- verdict, an okay read!

Daisy: How to Become the Duke's Fiancée

Description:

Sweet, timid Daisy meets a tragic end after being betrayed by the man she loves. When she is given a second chance at life, she vows not to repeat the same mistakes of the past! The only problem is that she must pay off her father’s gambling debt to Kilian, an aristocrat with a terrifying reputation. One option will take her 60 years, and the other, just three... but it involves a contract marriage to Kilian, who must be three years married in order to inherit the title of duke. While Daisy has sworn off men, the conditions of the offer are too good to pass up. She will be paid a generous amount of money at the end of the contract and also be guaranteed a swift divorce. Is she making a mistake by putting her trust in another man? Or will this deal give her the wings she needs to fly?

THOUGHTS & WHY READ THIS:

- plot = 3/5 for now cause it only has 1 chap release

- art = 3.5/5

- going back in time trope

- i n t e r e s t i n g

- i wanna know what the hell happened!!!

- their dad is a jerk ugh

- her older sister doesnt even know her priorities

- verdict: has a potential so give it a try!

I Bid You Adieu

Description:

Ayne le Poregrin has three "trophies" in her collection of men: a reluctant fiancé held hostage by his debts, a fickle assassin paid to be her lover, and a soulless pet dog won at a slave auction. But to suddenly wake up one day as this femme fatale is the worst possible surprise. As the villainess of the novel "The Fairy Garden," the new "Ayne" is fated to die a painful death at the hands of her very own trophies! To sidestep her grim future, she knows she'll need to break up with all three. As soon as she tries to say goodbye, however, each man becomes attached and won't leave her alone! Can Ayne turn their affections towards the story's heroine and save her own life in the process? Based on the hit novel.

THOUGHTS & WHY READ THIS:

- plot = 3.5/5 

- art = 3.5/5

- truck-kun strikes again

- i s e k a i

- the assasin

- i relate to her in a fangirl level jk

- i n t e r e s t i n g

- verdict: this seems to be okay despite the overly used isekai element now or it’s probably because of the assasin & her attitude of collecting beautiful man but i do hope this rise to the ocassion aka develops properly

#Daisy #by the way dragon mistress #broken melody #forever mine #manhwa #manhwa recommendation #Daisy: How to Become the Duke's Fiancée #I Bid You Adieu #reynlist #reyn.manhwarecs

[pseudophan]

hey there Nora what are your favorite mcr lyrics

why i’m so glad you asked! what a coincidence i was just thinking about this

starting off basic with a classic from our lady of sorrows...

forever sad i couldn't buy that limited edition hour glass they released as merch a few years ago with this line cause bitch-

there are an endless amount of good lines in i never told you what i do for a living but 

'we'll all dance along to the tune of your death' is just.. UGH. their MINDS (azlyrics says alone instead of along whereas genius says along and i simply dont care its the same either way)

this wholeass part of the sharpest lives. actually all of the sharpest lives but i cant just choose the whole song so

'a light to burn all the empires so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be' DUUUUDEE. ‘juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands' BITCHHHHH. 'drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands romeo' GERARD REALLY WRITES THIS SHIT AND THEN IS SURPRISED WHEN HIS CONCERTS SELL OUT LIKE HELLO

next up some goodass anti-war lyrics in hit anti-war songs mama and gun

mama also has a loooot of good lyrics but the ending is just....yes..... also the back and forth between gerard and liza minelli.....ugh.....poetry

hot take but gun is an underrated song and particularly these days when fucking everyone's threatening to go to war with various countries and everyone's twitter ads are just Sign Up To The Army/Air Force/Navy/Fuck You its just like.... very topical! oh also actually let me get into the lyrics of this a bit more cause the song is basically saying military drafting is a bunch of lies which like we know but

like 'we could get somebody else but we want someone like you' repeated over and over like ill bet anything youve gotten a promoted tweet on twitter recently being like we think YOU are the right choice for [insert military branch here] because 'xyz of generic traits' but then in reality

'well the uniform isn't sewn they make em like we give em out to anyone' they dont give a shit who they send out to die they prey on the poor and less fortunate by promising to pay for ur education n shit and anyway fuck the military

from the army to this very Eat The Rich-esque lyric from disenchanted

OK SO LIKE what the fuck is with mcr and just the wildest fucking rhymes like they all work so well and the flow of their songs is next fucking level but jesus christ

for a song called na na na they really went all out on the lyrics. the ending is my fav like look at this shit also who the fuck rhymes purgatory with bore me and why does it slap

OXYCONTIN GENOCIDE ADOLESCENT SUICIDE ARE U KIDDING ME anyway stan my way home is through you. also that first part is so cheesy but in the Best way

these rhymes arent weird as much as theyre just oh so catchy. also goodass lyrics. love me some edge. and the delivery of 'black is the kiss the touch of a serpent son'.....bars

ok i have more but i also wanna go to bed remind me to continue this tomorrow

#answered

[figuringouthowtobehere]

please dont reblog this

i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.

im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.

please dont reblog this

cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world

i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood. 

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.

ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now. 

so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.

and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it. 

and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.

i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would. 

im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.

i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.

help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.

if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well

please dont reblog this!!

#childhood abuse tw #tw #tw alone in the world #suicide tw #please dont reblog this #no rb #homelessness tw

[captain-of-the-roses]

Weird things Me and Dad said while talking about RWBY:

Dad: Here's my theory.

Me: Take two.

Dad: Ruby. Silver eyes. Summer realizes this and goes to Ozpin. Ozpin tells Summer about Jinn.

Me: So Summer and Raven join forces?

Dad: Not unlikely. Raven would want something in return tho.

Me: Raven is like "Ya ok but what do I get out of this" and Summer goes "You'll get answers." And Raven says "Sounds sus but ok."

Dad: Ya. So they go to Mistral, open the vault, ask Jinn about why Silver eyes are being hunted, and get their answer.

Me: Raven just nopes out of there like "I ain't ever going back" while Summer goes "Welp. Time to get myself killed."

Dad: Ya, probably. Raven leaves and Summer tries to Kamahamaha Salem with her silver eyes but dies trying.

Dad: Winter is going to kill Ironwood. Sword right through the throat.

Dad: Teah brought something up earlier-

Me: Was it the taco thing?

Mom: Taco thing?

Dad: It was not the taco thing.

Me: Oscar uses the staff and says "Spooky Spooky give us back the husband" to bring back Ozma. "Please help we have your wife and we don't know what to do with her we are sorry."

Dad: If anyone hurts a hair on Penny's head I will kill everyone and them myself.

Dad: Kill off Qrow. And Robynn. Just for the shock value.

Me: Do it infront of the kids, cause they see him as a father figure.

Dad: Yes. Do it at the end. Right after Salem is purged of her Grimm self by the silver eyes-

Me: -if the group is smart enough to figure that out-

Dad: -and have it happen unexpectedly.

Me: Do it right at the end of the volume. Have everyone's shocked faces and then cut off the season. Have Raven and Tai and Zwei portal in to and watch Qrow die. The Happy Huntresses are there for Robynn.

Mom: No! Dont kill off Qrow.

Me: Or wait for Qrow to die. Do it after Vacuo when he's adopted CFVY and the Beacon students there.

Dad: No, because, as much as I love Qrow, he's had his arc now its death time. Just have the fandom cannibalize itself.

Dad: Ozpin is hiding much more then we know. He knows too much.

Me: Is that part of the reason why he lied about the no more lies amd halftruths things? Because he knew Yang and everyone else was keeping lies and telling half truths?

Dad: Yes!

Me: Listen, Robynn has fingerless gloves. Who else has fingerless gloves? Coco and Yang. What do Yang and Coco have in common? Theyre both lesbians. Therefore, Robynn is Lesbian.

Mom: I still headcanon they are both bi.

Me: Robynn litteraly runs an army of women, Mom.

Dad: Alright, I'm not gonna interfere with your shipper logic.

Dad: I headcanon Hot Chocolate was invented during the Great War and the King of Vale tried it and was all like "This is good. I'm gonna drink it for the rest of my life." And when he was put into Ozpin Ozpin was "I have the sudden urge for Hot Chocolate."

Me: Poor Oscar.

Me: I still like your theory that Oscar has a mimicry semblance.

Dad: If they don't unlock Oscar's semblance as the ability to act as someone else and no one says "Give this man an award" I will riot.

Dad: Oz is going to have his ideal happy ending, right? What does he want most in the world? Death.

Me: Ooh, fun.

Me: I never understood why heroes do the motivational speech. Like, if someone went up to me and said "Hey wanna fight an evil organization and stop the end of the world for the good of humanity" I would be like "No thanks." But if someone came up to me and said "Wanna go fight a guy?" I would immediatly say yes.

Dad: See, that's the same thing. You just worded it differently. You got to appeal to your audience. In any case, Ruby isnt going to be able to unite humanity against Salem. Salem, however, could do something so bad that humanity turns agaisnt her without leadership. Because when someone gives a motivational speech there is always that one person that goes "BuT wHaT iF-" or when the fight begins someone says "wElL aCtUaLlY-" like no shut up.

Dad: Salem is going to be taken care of this season, and Cinder will go in Volume 9. The bad guy if Volume 10, in Vale, with be the Brothers.

Me: Figures.

Me: The staff of creation just summons a bunch of ghosts in suits discussing how to take down Salem.

Dad: a staff meeting, ha!

Me: Like Summer and Pyrrha are there in suits-

Dad: And all of the Oz incarnations. Just like "you got them in your head to?" "Yep." "Same."

Me: Do you think after they free Salem of her Grimm self she'll join the gang?

Dad: No-

Me: That's sad.

Me: *trying to explain the Oz timeline and where the Infinite Man fits in*

Dad: *nodding in obvious confusion*

Dad: Did Ozma 2.0 and Salem have a son?

Me: Diggs and Salem had four daughters. One for each season. Spring, Winter, Summer, Fall. Color coordinated and everything.

Dad: They arent going to have a happily ever after. What's going to happen is the brothers are going to view humanity as a disaster. With 3 out of 4 of the nations being in ruin, they won't see humanity as being united even if everyone worked together to defeat the final boss. So they are going to let Oz and Salem die and then send RWBY, JNPR, CFVY, ect. back to before Salem went batshit crazy-

Me: The first time or Atlas?

Dad: The first time. So they are going to stop Salem from jumping into craziness. Get it, because she jumped into the pools-

Me: I get it.

Dad: It wont be a HAPPY happy ending but there is no saving Remnant. It was a punishment anyways and Salem already won.

Me: Why cant they just put Atlas on top of the Pools of Grimm?

Dad: Because then Salem will have a giant flying castle.

Me: She already has a castle. And she has a flying whale Grimm. Just put the castle on top of the whale and BOOM! Flying castle.

Dad: I still think Jaune's sword is the Sword of Destruction. Nothing in this show happens without purpose.

Me: No, everything has a purpose, just some things get forgotten and/or ignored.

Me: The group is going to be those parents that when their kid says they don't want to do homework go "When I was your age-"

Dad: Like "When I was your age I stopped an evil monster!"

Me: "I killed my Collage Professor's evil ex wife!" Nora is going to be telling her and Ren's kids the battle of Atlas. "We were alone facimg against an army of Grimm!"

Dad: Its going to play out as Nora telling the group the Beowulf story with Ren correcting her. "We were hopelessly outnumbered." "We weren't." "Surrounded by an army of Beowulfs." "There were two."

Me: "The middle of the night!" "It was the afternoon."

Dad: Ren just resigns himself to spending his life correcting Nora's story telling.

Me: She's telling her kids stories-

Dad: And Ren is just in the kitchen making tea.

Me: Nora goes "Our teacher's wife invaded mantle with thousands of Grimm! The Jellyfish were invading Mantle!" "They were floating in the sky." "We were farther apart then ever-"

Dad: "We were a block away."

Me: "The General.... Was Ironwooding." The rest of the group comes over with their kids. Nora is screaming about the story and Ruby and Yang join in. Ren and Weiss correcting them.

Dad: Blake is in the corner drinking tea.

Me: She looks up and goes "This is great tea." Meanwhile Ren is still busy correcting Nora.

Dad: "But they didnt know we had a secret weapon... A 20 foot laser eyed robot!" "She was 4' 8""

Me: Oscar comes over one day and says "Remember that one time I was shot off Atlas by James and fell and broke my aura falling down to Mantle." And everyone is like no??? Cause with the way things are going, he's not going to tell them.

Dad: Qrow is just upstairs banging his cane on the ground like "Keep it down I'm trying to sleep!"

Me: I love how we assume Qrow lives with them.

Dad: Of course he does. Where else would he stay?

Me: Tai.

Dad: Qrow is that old nuisance who lives with them.

Me: He's an old bird half the time just chilling on everyone's shoulders. How would the rest of the group be paired up? The only canon ship we got is Renora.

Dad: What Salem did with bringing back Ozma was essentially the 'Go to ask Dad. Dad gave you an answer you did not like. Go to Mom. Mom says yes. Parents start fighting and punish the kid."

Me: If Salem had gone to the younger brother, or in this case, mom, she wouldve gotten what she wanted and there would be a war on the Brother's hands cause the older couldn't punish Salem and could only argue against the younger.

#weird things my family has said #we are coming up with theories for Volume 8 of RWBY #it got out of hand