#and at the same time she’s cishet <3 hope this helps

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Stonemilker [Joel x f!reader]

Read on Ao3

Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO)

Ship: Joel Miller x you (cishet f reader)

Tags/warnings: Heartache, breakup stuff, Ellie lives and Joel is lying to her, sad sex, you know this is ending sex, Couple fighting, idk what this is folks, it's a sad story with a hopeful ending.

Summary: When Joel returns to Jackson with Ellie, something has changed. Can your relationship survive it? Takes place after episode 9 of season 1.

Words: 3,967

A/N: The title Stonemilker is the title of the first track of Björk's Vulnicura (2015), an album solely about the end of a relationship. Cheers to @rambling-in-purple for reading it before posting <3!

Joel returned a changed man. A younger man. A less hurting man.

Ellie was with him, of course, hugging you tightly in the kitchen of the small house you had been given. You had been setting the dinner table for one when she had burst in and called your name, Joel striding in behind her. You dropped the plate, and the porcelain pieces spread around your feet.

Little did you know that your life was about to shatter in the same way.

Joel gave you a warm hug, nothing more. You wanted to hear everything about their journey, but they were both tired and hungry, so you gave them time to shower and change into clean clothes while you adapted dinner to feed three.

Later that night, when you went to bed with Joel, you saw the hideous wound on the right side of his stomach. He told you what had happened since he and Ellie left Jackson.

He told you everything: the abandoned college, the stab wound, and how close he was to dying. Ellie saving him. The resort. All the dead bodies. The hospital.

His decision. Hallways of dead people left behind. His lie to Ellie.

"Joel..."

He looked at you with shrouded eyes. Where there used to be an iron curtain, there was now a thin veil that showed depths of horrors, but also hope. It scared you more than the hard metallic gaze that you were used to.

You knew why he did it. You understood him. You would probably have done the same.

"You have to tell her."

"One day, I will."

"Sooner rather than later. She deserves to know the truth."

There it was, the unyielding steel in his eyes. He never appreciated being told the obvious. But when Ellie did that, slapped him in the face with inconvenient truths and poignant teases, he grimaced to keep from smiling. When you did it, you received a glare.

You had always thought that that glare was yours because Joel didn't have any other way of expressing his reluctant amusement. And it was, but there was a smile-hiding grimace as well, just not for you.

Something had changed. You didn't realize just how much until a few weeks later, when you were out with the hunting party, and a cougar popped up so suddenly that not even the horses had smelled it. It was a young animal, probably a male looking for a territory of its own, and you were the closest to it. Your horse reared, you fell off, hit your elbow on a rock that just had to be precisely there. As if by some miracle, your head missed it, though. The wind got knocked out of you while your brain was screaming frantically at you to get up and get your gun, but before you could move, a shot rang out over the plain, and the horses neighed in fear.

Deion was by your side a moment later, brows knitted together in worry.

"You okay?"

Breath returning, you began to feel the impact of your fall. Left elbow was smarting, your ass was probably bruised, and your heart was beating a mile a minute from the scare.

"I'm fine," you managed to wheeze. He helped you up, carefully pulling you on your feet. He held your hand as he inspected your face for discomfort. You let him. It's comforting, that big, warm hand holding yours.

"You sure?" He wanted to be certain before he let you go. You nodded and forced a smile.

"I'll have a bruise, but I'm good." You've had worse, so much worse.

The warmth of Deion's hand lingers on your skin long after he releases your hand. As you get on the horse and ride back to Jackson, you find yourself thinking about how Joel never showed such concern for your well-being. And he doesn't do it now, either, when you return sooner than expected, moving like you're in pain - which you are.

"You need to be more careful," he tells you gruffly. You know it's his thing, he doesn't do softness, and yet... he does to Ellie. He speaks kindly to her, laughs with her, talks to her about things beyond mere survival. Tells her about his daughter. That's a new one, he never even mentioned his daughter to you.

It's heartwarming to see him thawed. The glimpses of who he used to be melt together with who he is now. You always suspected he was a great kind of guy before the world went to shit and he was forced to become a version of himself that he himself hated. And it hurts you more than the bruising that he cannot be this new person with you, only with Ellie. She deserves the best Joel, you know that, but don't you? After all you've been through with him?

You argue with him later that night. That's also new. While you may have disagreed with him occasionally before, you have never fought about it. Maybe it's the comfort of Jackson, the fact that a disagreement no longer means the risk of death. Maybe you have just had your fill.

"You could at least say something that doesn't make it sound like it's my fault!" you yell, unconcerned with your voice carrying over to the next room where Ellie is asleep. "You could ask me if I'm okay!"

"I can see that you're okay," Joel replies irritably. "I've seen you take worse hits."

"I am not okay, Joel!" The words are spat into the half-lit bedroom and the silence that follows is heavy from the impact. Joel crosses his arms in front of his chest and looks at you with unreadable eyes. It's not his usual glare, the one he gives you no matter the reason, because it's all he's capable of. It's just... closed. Like he has nothing more to give you.

You sleep in separate rooms that night. Ellie is unusually demure in the morning, looking from you to Joel and back to you, clearly bothered by your fight the night before. You make a mental note to talk to her after breakfast but before you can suggest an activity, Joel asks her if she wants to go out shooting.

Okay, let Joel deal with Ellie.

You go to your chores, which consist of animal care for most of the day. Deion joins you. He wants to know how you're feeling.

How are you feeling? Bruised and annoyed. Sad and confused. Touched and frustrated. Abandoned. Lonely.

"I'm good," you assure him with a light smile. "A little sore, but I've had worse."

All day he sees to it that you rest. He takes care of the tasks that will aggravate the aches of your beaten-up body. He reminds you to take a break when it's nearing lunch time.

He cares so clearly. Is this what it's like, to be with someone who cares?

Ellie is bubbly that night. She and Joel have had fun, she tells you, and you're happy for her. Ellie is a child who was never allowed to be one. She deserves carefree days. She deserves a father figure, a dad. A mom, too, but you have no idea how to be that. Especially when things are so askew with Joel. Whatever things are, were, should be. You and Joel used to be about teamwork, survival, partnership. But life in Jackson is different. What you two had, were, is not needed here. What else can you be?

Joel watches you take your clothes off when you get ready for bed. You turn your back to him, maybe out of misguided, sudden shyness, maybe to show him the bruise that has painted half your back. It was dark red yesterday, now it's turning purple.

His feet are heavy on the floorboards when he walks up to you. His rough fingers are surprisingly soft when tracing the outlines of the bruise. You close your eyes, lean into his touch, sigh softly when he kisses you neck. You lie down on the bed and let Joel take you. He's gentle, more so than usual, but every thrust pushes you against the bumpy mattress, hurting you. Neither one of you speak but when Joel has finished, he cradles your face in his hands and kisses your forehead so softly that it's barely a kiss at all. You turn your back to him when you go to sleep. Your muscles are sore from the coupling, and you quietly love that tenderness like one would a bittersweet heartache. The bruise on your lower back throbs like a young heart in love, and when you turn onto your side, away from Joel, you wish he would kiss the miscolored blossoms.

But he doesn't. He simply turns away from you, just as you turned away from him. With a canyon between your warm, spent bodies, you both go to sleep.

Ellie accompanies you to your chores the next day. After a quiet hour of cleaning the stable, she eventually asks you if you're mad at her.

"No, Ellie, why would you think that?" you ask, immediately regretting your poor choice of words. She shrugs, leaning against a stall door, both hands gripping the handle of the pitchfork, the prongs scraping loudly against the floor.

"You've been weird since we got back. You and Joel have been fighting."

"That has nothing to do with you," you lie, hopefully convincingly. Ellie looks up at you, a hard glint in her eyes.

"I'm not stupid. You never fought before, not for as long as I've known you."

You stop your sweeping but don't know what to say.

"You barely talk to each other," she insists.

"It's complicated," you tell her feebly. "But it has nothing to do with you, Ellie, I promise."

"Then what is it?"

You shake your head. "I'm not going to talk about our relationship with you, Ellie. It's not your problem."

"It is my problem if my - " she stops herself, the word parents hanging in the air for a second, before she continues: " - if you two are going to, I don't know, get a divorce or some shit."

An amused scoff escapes you before you can stop yourself. "We're not married, Ellie."

"I know. But you're, like, together, right?"

"I don't know what we are," you blurt out, averting your eyes so you don't have to see her reaction at your confession. You hear the scraping of her shoe at the floor.

"Did you count on me not being here anymore?"

Her voice is small and sounds so different from its normal curious and teasing tone. A clump forms in your throat.

"Ellie..."

"I'm in the way."

You let go of the broom and focus instead on Ellie, standing in front of her and taking the pitchfork from her so that you can grasp her hands.

"You're not in the way," you tell her firmly. Ellie looks away, and you shake your head to stress your words. "Ellie, look at me."

She meets your steady gaze, and you see how conflicted she is. Poor girl. She is a child. You can barely remember what it was like to be that age and besides, it was another world ago, but you do remember that it was difficult and confusing for so many reasons.

"You are not in the way," you emphasize softly. "But this situation is new, for all of us. This place. This dynamic. We're not just surviving anymore, Ellie, we have a chance to live. And I... I've never had that chance with Joel before. So I'm struggling a little right now. But it has nothing to do with you, okay? You just... be you. You're so good for him, Ellie, you have saved him in more ways than one."

She purses her lips, and you see her throat muscles work as she swallows.

"Okay," she finally nods, quietly. You press a smile, try to look like this problem was resolved.

"Okay." You give her a quick hug before going back to your work. Ellie seems relieved but you can't stop thinking about how you pinned it all on your own back. You are struggling, you are having a hard time of this new way of life. As if Joel has nothing to do with it. As if his broad, once so safe, and reassuring back isn't now turned to you in cool detachment.

You try to bring the topic to him later that night, tell him that Ellie is noticing and worrying. It ends in a fight and this time it's Joel who sleeps on the uncomfortable couch. You lie awake, wondering what went wrong. Is it really you who changed? Are you being a selfish bitch, jealous of a 14-year-old girl? Do you really want life to go on as it did before, in the Boston QZ, fighting for your life with Joel by your side?

Why is settling down so hard?

Nothing changes in the coming weeks. Talking to Joel is like milking a stone. Every now and then the two of you fight, as quietly as you can when Ellie has gone to bed. You still think he should tell her. He refuses to, and you can see the fear in his eyes. Ellie will be furious with him; you both know it. The longer he keeps her in the dark, the worse it's going to be. You find yourself wishing that you'll be far away when the day comes.

One early spring day you ride out with Deion to check on the traps. You've spent most of your days with him these past few weeks. He appreciates you, sees you, wants to hear your opinion. He takes you to the movies. He asks you about your past. He shows interest where Joel barely even wants you at night anymore.

The snow has started to melt in the sunshine, and you find a sun-kissed clearing where the ground is yellow with glacier lilies. The air is warm, and you can smell the changing of the season. You dismount and crouch among the delicate yellow flowers, hover your hands over them, smile in childlike delight when you see bees buzzing from flower to flower. You can't remember the last time you saw bees.

In that clearing, you ask Deion to kiss you, and he does, almost immediately. Not until the kiss is over does he express regret.

"You're with Joel."

"No, I'm not."

He smiles, and kisses you again, and you remember those first pre-teen infatuations: the warmth, the excitement, the heart-stopping angst about whether or not the subject of your passions felt the same. You remember all that but only feel it radiate from Deion. The feelings are unrequited.

That night you collect your few belongings into your backpack and leave the house. You hug Ellie and ask her to forgive you. You say nothing to Joel, and he says nothing to you.

You do not go to Deion, but instead to the boarding house where new arrivals are placed while awaiting homes of their own. Deion is kind, and he showed you what it would be like to be with a person who genuinely cares for you, but you don't want to rebuild your shattered life around a man.

A week later you mount a horse and leave Jackson. You have no plan, no light to look for, but you can finally breathe freely. Heading west, you ride at a slow pace all day, enjoying yourself more than maybe is appropriate. Your saddle-sore backside in the evening doesn't put a damper on your joy when you sit by your small fire with a cup of herbal tea. This is the start of something new, maybe disastrous, but definitely different.

The dark woods around you don't scare you, neither does being alone. You realize now just how alone - lonely - you've been these past couple of months, smack in the middle of the warm and well-organized community that Jackson is. Its friendly inhabitants weren't enough: you only wanted kindness from one single person. To be alone out here, by choice, feels a lot better than the time spent in Jackson.

When you prepare to leave the campsite the next morning, a horse emerges between the trees. Instinctively, you reach for your gun before your brain has processed the face of the rider.

It's Joel. Your mouth falls open and your legs feel weak.

"What are you doing here?" you manage when he dismounts. His hunched shoulders tell you clearly that he's uncomfortable and also stalling as he, very meticulously, ties the reins to a nearby tree. You wait impatiently for him to acknowledge you. When he finally does, his nut-brown eyes are clear in the first rays of the sun.

"I'm here to ask you if you would consider returning."

You have to bite your tongue in order not to laugh out loud. Your hard stare tells him everything, and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"I'm going to tell Ellie about what happened at the hospital."

You raise an eyebrow. "Why are you here telling me that?"

"Because when I do, she's going to hate me, and I can't stand losing both of you."

"It's a little too late for that, Joel."

He nods, wets his lips. Looks away and draws a wet breath. Rests his hands on his hips, purses his lips. You realize he's fighting against unwanted yet inevitable tears.

Joel crying. That's a new one.

Moments pass, minutes, maybe hours, days, you have no idea, but you keep staring at Joel as he stubbornly looks to the forest, as if there was an answer or saving grace to be had between the trees. You are relentless in the midst of the rising sun, the singing birds, the soft shush of the wind through the budding treetops. He has to make the first move, show something, say something. Offer an explanation to why he stopped listening. Where did the apathy in his eyes come from? Why did he suddenly decide to show no concern for you?

He brings his hand to his eyes, rubs them quickly with forefinger and thumb. He then turns back to you.

"Ellie misses you."

You stand your ground, implacable as you wait for him to continue. Finally, he confesses:

"I miss you. The minute you left I started missing you."

"Then why did you let me leave?" you ask flatly.

"I wasn't going to stop you if that's what you wanted."

You refuse to engage, even though you want to scream at him: Do you think I wanted to leave?

"Was it Deion?"

"What?" Your eyebrows meet in a surprised frown. "What about Deion?"

"You spent so much time with him. Did you... was there anything between you?"

Unable to play it cool anymore, you take a step closer.

"How fucking dare you? You have no right!" Your horse and Joel's shift their weight, ears twitching nervously.

He's a little taken back with your raised voice, but he doesn't match it.

"Sorry," he mutters instead, and now it's your turn to drop your jaw. For a moment, both of you just stand there, looking at each other, trying to find some common ground to share so that things can be resolved.

It's Joel who finally finds that little patch of soil to sow the seeds of reconciliation.

"You remember how I tried to make Tommy take Ellie to the Fireflies?" he asks, and you nod mutely. Of course you remember. The tension in the house had been so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

"But I took her. And everything that happened after that... happened. I have to live with the consequences. I just had to keep her."

He shakes his head, something desperate filling his features. "If I get to keep her, I can't keep you."

"What do you mean?" you ask quietly, not following. The long look he gives you is anguished, but he stays quiet, as if he has said too much. Your brain is working at full capacity until it has connected the dots.

"Is this some kind of 'can't have too much good shit in my life' bullshit?" you ask hoarsely, almost afraid of the answer. "Because that is just... Joel, you are an idiot."

You're shaking by now, and Joel bristles a little.

"Look, Ellie has nobody else. She's stuck with me, for better or for worse. She's a kid. But you are not. You can have someone better."

"What if I don't want anyone better, what if I happen to love a complete fucking idiot who doesn't deserve me but is stuck with me because I chose it myself!?" you scream, tears filling your eyes and escaping down your cheeks. Joel winces, as if you just slapped him, but when he sees your tears, he closes the gap between the two of you with a few long strides. The next thing you know, you're crushed against his broad chest, smelling his sweat and slightly woodsy scent with leather and horse and melting snow. He holds you so tightly it's almost constricting your breathing, but you don't fight back. You've fought back for long enough.

"Darlin'," he murmurs throatily. "Darlin'. You love me?"

"I did," you sob. "But I don't know if I still do."

He's quiet, his hand moving in slow, comforting caresses over your back. Something is broken in you and the splinters are pressing against your internal organs, making breathing near impossible. Your face against Joel's chest, you think you can sense something break in him as well.

"You're right," he finally whispers. "I am an idiot and an asshole."

Your only response is more tears because now he gets it, now the milk is flowing from that goddamn stone, and it just might be too late. You don't know if you can trust him to handle your broken pieces right, or if there is a second chance for him in you.

There is no telling how long you stand like that, entwined in a sad, desperate embrace. The sun's rays start to feel warm even when you're cold inside. When your tears finally dry up, you shift in Joel's arms, and he releases you. You can't look at him, can't let him see you like this, but he gently places his finger under your chin, and raises your face to his.

"Am I too late?" he asks. His eyes are red and there are wet trails on his cheeks. You swallow hard, try to navigate between your desires and needs.

"What would change?" you finally ask. He places his warm, slightly sweaty palm against your cheek and brushes his thumb just under your eye, catching a lingering tear.

"I would love you."

He has never said that word to you before, and you want to ask for a detailed description of what it entails. How will he love you? Will he listen, help, support, share?

If Ellie decides to hate him, will he hate you in return? Will Ellie?

On the other side is a vast wilderness of no coordinates, the unknown with all its dangers. What are your chances of survival, of finding decent people? Jackson is full of decent people, and now also Joel and Ellie. Joel, who hurt you. Ellie, who is torn between the two of you.

He waits for your answer, and you find that you don't have a definite one to give him. But you know what direction to take.

"We'll talk about it on the ride back."

If that direction is a way forward or a way back, you don't know. You just feel that it would be wrong not to try.

#the last of us fanfic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #my fic

[kitkatscabinet]

i never say no to a matchup :)

one matchup for the quarry please!

they/void pronouns by the way B)

physical appearance: i stand at around 5’6’ (shortest in my family) with light brown hair that turns more into dirty blonde during the summer because of the sun and chlorine that i desperately want to dye a fun color, blue grey eyes (the only ones in my immediate family) and i used to wear glasses but i’ve recently converted to contact lenses

the fun stuff: i’m a HUGE theater kid (for both on stage and off), musician (singing, piano, cello and guitar) and an aspiring writer (i won a writing award for a story on the struggles of being queer both sexuality and gender wise in a predominantly cishet school in the second person). i adore playing dnd and being a dungeon master or menace of a player and i prefer multiplayer games to single player (i get carried so hard LMAO-)

romance stuff(?): i’m polyamorous and biromantic and my love language giving wise is definitely gift giving and my receiving love language is a combination of quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation. i love cute cozy dates but the occasional three am adventure is a guilty pleasure that i also love to indulge in :)

hopefully that’s informative enough, thank you my friend <3

My first immediate thought was Emma

She may not necessarily be big on the theatre in the same sense as you but she understands performing and I can see her as being big on watching you perform especially. It would give you something to bond over and the two of you would be each other's biggest supporters. She would definitely be in awe of your myriad of talents and I can see the two of you practising together. She would love to read anything you write and definitely has a stash of all your creations and gifts for her.

You definitely teach her how to play at least one instrument, especially in a world after Hackett's Quarry. It would help soothe her and acts as something special the two of you can do together.

I feel like dates with Emma are the perfect mix of snuggling away from the world just the two of you and going on hikes/shopping trips/getaways both for her vlog and to add some excitement into your lives.

You strike me as a very open and giving person which Emma definitely needs to help balance her out, when she's with you she can feel like she doesn't have to put on so much of an act knowing you'll accept her either way.

Emma is both physically and verbally affectionate with a partner she truly likes and would tell you how great you are and how much she loves you for hours.

I hope you enjoyed this!

[mathsbian]

i hope you and nonbinary jakey lose the apartment ^__^

This would make me feel bad if I hadn’t seen this coming. This is why I waited so long to try and start raising money. Because I knew I’d get anons like this. About a post I made over a year ago and never think about outside of answering these ridiculous attempts at bullying.

Since you feel entitled to harass me, I feel entitled to trauma-dump in response.

We wouldn’t just be losing the apartment. We’d be losing all of our freedom. We would have to move in either with my abusive mother or my partner’s abusive father. Their father wants us to put a deposit on a new place in his town and pay rent on our own for 6 months before he’ll allow us to move in with him, which doesn’t make any sense because the reason we can’t afford rent here is because we can’t save any of our money because the cost of living is so high and I have no income to help offset that. So it would end up being my mother.

My mom found out I was gay on her own and confronted me about it while visiting me in my own home while my then-partner was out of the country for two weeks. She waited til I was alone and brought it up by saying she would still love me even if I murdered someone. So she sees being gay as the same as taking someone’s life. She does not approve of me living with my partner out of wedlock, even though if I get married I will lose half the benefits I am entitled to if I ever get approved for disability. If I had to move in with her, I’m not even sure she would allow my partner to come with me. On top of that, she does not have any clue about my self-medication and she would not approve of that either. So I would also be losing the one thing that keeps my pain manageable.

Not to mention that she barely believes I’m sick. That she forces me to help with difficult chores even when I am having a really bad flare. That she tries to guilt-trip me into attending a homophobic church with her every week. That she still lets my father come around and visit with barely any warning, a man I only speak to a couple times a year currently, and only because she keeps inviting him to holidays.

I would literally rather be homeless than have to put up with her again. And I can’t be homeless because I have two cats that need a shelter and safety. Maybe you don’t care about me having shelter, but what did my cats ever do to you assholes?

And there’s a third person in this equation who was not part of the post I made. Our roommate will also lose the apartment if we do. You really want three people to get evicted, maybe be homeless, along with their 3 cats, all because I said something you didn’t care for on fucking tungle.hell? There’s actually christofascists and militant transphobes hiding on this site and you’re really up in arms over me saying “assuming a straight-passing couple are both cishet is a dick move from the queer community” and “our goal is to end oppression not flip it around on the Straights”?

Not that I expect you to read this. You clearly don’t care at all. But at least I feel better getting all that off my chest.

#anon drama #vent #at least this one wasn’t biphobic or exorsexist

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

just saw han call el a twink and i can’t cope with it... bestie if u see this know that you’re so brave for speaking that truth

#el is a femme dyke but also they’re non-binary but also she’s a girl twink but also they’re butch #and at the same time she’s cishet <3 hope this helps #beth.txt

[riacte]

I’m going to put some thoughts about MCCP Pink Parrots under the cut (not all are positive, so if you don’t want me to be a party pooper please don’t read)

I know people (*cough* Twitter) have issues with this team because they’re all Cis Het White Males and one made a “lesbiophobic joke” five years ago or something. I agree that it’s probably better to “split the clout” to uplift other creators, especially with three (3) Clout People in the same team (unlike the infamous Pink8 which only had Two Clout People), but I understand why Scott made this decision.

This team feels almost specifically made to hype people up, and the combination will attract people to watch and donate, thus raising more money. While representation is good, I think money raised to practically help people > representation this time. Because this is a charity Pride stream, not just a Pride stream. Raising money is the focus here. Famous cishet white male allies can raise a lot of money. Money can help people. These are all facts whether you like it or not. And if you want to see more LGBTQA+ creators in MCC, support them. If you don’t like a certain creator, don’t watch their team. The end.

Don’t know too much about the other three, but I think Grian is good at hosting charity streams. I’ve watched his Love Tropics stream with Iskall (2019?), the first SOS Africa stream with Ren (2020), the MCC 9 stream (2020), and the second SOS Africa stream with Ren, Bdubs, and Scar (2021). Throughout the streams, Grian is consistently respectful and humble. He urges his viewers to donate by patiently talking about the cause in simple terms (since he knows a lot of kids watch him) but without being patronising. Grian also loves putting numbers into things people can measure (eg. How many hot meals can this sum of money buy, if everyone watching right now donated $1 we can reach our goal). Grian also knows his privilege and mentions he’s just a well off guy playing video games in a comfortable place. When Ren thanked him for supporting his fellow South Africans, Grian replied with “we’re all human”. So I believe Grian will spend a lot of his MCCP stream urging viewers to donate, reading out donations, appreciating donations, etc etc. Grian knows his influence and knows how to use it for good. Someone on Twitter mentioned Grian seemed like the type of person to skip this MCC to give more slots for other creators, and I agreed, but then Grian probably thought he could use his influence for good (considering he had MAJOR success for all his past charity streams).

So all in all, I do think this team can raise a lot of money for a good cause. I am okay with this team. But personally I still have some slight issues that probably don’t matter much, but I need to get them out because it’s been eating me alive. All of these so-called “issues” have to do with fanbases, not CCs. Just because I don’t like part of a CCs’ fanbase doesn’t mean I don’t like the CC.

1. This team will probably intensify the “Grian Is The Only Hermit” phenomenon.

A lot of famous CCs only seem to know Grian out of everybody in Hermitcraft (despite False being in every MCC since debut except the non canon ones). They are somewhat akin to the “Grian Only Hermitcraft Watchers”/ “Grumbo YouTube Stan Army”. There’s nothing wrong with knowing Grian only, or only watching Grian, but most of the times the gigantic population of “Grian Only Stans” will neglect Literally Every Other Hermit (except maybe Mumbo). Even when Grian teams with hermits. Hermitcraft fans are mostly used to this bullshit, and they just nicely try to introduce Grian Only Stans to other hermits (which works most of the time).

So to Techno and Wilbur’s fans (I assume Jimmy’s fans are quite familiar with Grian), they’ll go “omg Grian!! Builder!!! Hermitcrafter!!”. This will introduce a bunch of people to Grian/ Hermitcraft (which is great!) but it has a good chance of evolving into the good ole “Grian is the only hermit that matters” thing. Simply because of popularity.

I actually wanted False-Grian-Techno-Wilbur, because Techno and Wilbur actually know False. Techno of course acknowledged her in Dodgebolt, and False and Wilbur have a surprisingly long history of trolling/ annoying each other (from MCC5-9). Wilbur notably trolled Yellow8 and Blue9 by covering up the letters on their uniforms (both hermit teams WITHOUT GRIAN), and when Grian ignored Wilbur around MCC7 Battle Box, Wilbur chose to annoy False instead. False in return seems to notice Wilbur a tiny bit more than general MCC participants (another one she notices is Fundy), such as being amused/annoyed when he overtakes her in Ace Race and gleefully cheering when Wilbur falls.

False is probably the hermit/ hermit adjacent sans Mr Golden Boi Grian with the most “connections” to SBI, Techno and Wilbur know her (Techno forgot about her in MCC 11 but whatever), and she can deal with the three clout people. Which brings me to the next point.

2. Jimmy Solidarity my beloved…

Naturally, Jimmy has already been neglected because he’s the only one who doesn’t have a lot of “clout”. This is different from the last megaclout team Pink8, because Michael and Burren could “lack clout” together. This time, Jimmy doesn’t have anyone with a similar popularity with him. Red10 made me a little more concerned (viewers have pointed out he seems a little bit neglected by the rest of his teammates, especially during DB when they were shittalking Jimmy’s friends).

CCs wise, they will probably/ hopefully be nice and kind (I say hopefully because I cannot trust anyone from DSMP other than HBomb), everyone will get along, no one will be excluded, everyone is happy.

The toxic fans will probably be rabid towards Jimmy (by extension Grian) if they make even a slight mistake, which is why I’m worried about putting a small/medium sized creator with the BIG BIG creators. But, eh. Toxic people will be toxic no matter what. This isn’t an issue exclusive to Pink Parrots.

3. Clashing attitudes?

Hermits and their friends advocate arrow split. Techno does not. What will happen if this team gets to Dodgebolt? Previously, Grian has always been on “arrow split” teams and greatly enjoyed them. Scott has taken care to put people with similar attitudes together. Now what? I have hope that they’re all mature and can compromise, but eh. Grian is strongly against arrow funnelling and calls it not-gentlemanly. I feel Techno will probably let Grian have a few shots since this is a for fun MCC, but what if they get teamed again for some competitive MCC? They’ll probably work it out, but what might their fanbases think?

To conclude, big fanbases = big benefits + big problems. This is not exclusive to Pink Parrots. In fact, I think this is probably the best mix of builders and clout people for this scenario (I personally do not want to see False-Puffy or Ren-Dream). Techno and Wilbur’s fanbases are already the nicer part of the DSMP fanbase.

The most important part is raising money of course, and the silly “issues” I mentioned above don’t mean anything in comparison. Why care about online matters when the money can help people in the real world?

That being sad, I was just a tiny bit salty and I had to get this out. Nonetheless I’m happy about this team, will definitely be interesting (selfishly hope they don’t win because Twitter will be mad a team of cishets won). Anyways, if you’ve read up to here, thank you for reading my ramblings.

#ria.txt #salt #negativity #if you saw this in main tags: you didn’t

[whistlesanbells]

Community Headcanons

Just a random list of headcanons I have, organized by character (feat. A lot of Britta x Annie)

Jeff

I saw someone mention that Jeff might have an ED, and given what we see with his relationship with food, and how he is willing to go as far as to hurt himself to be the best at something (in this case be the best looking) it makes a lot of sense.

A lot of people headcanon Jeff as bi but honestly I just take him as cishet. He has many many issues but I don’t think sexuality is one of them, because half his personality is his attraction to every woman that breathes lmao

Exudes top energy but really the minute someone else tops him, he gets insecure for a bit but ends up really liking it.

Britta

Raging bisexual. I feel like she’s known for a long time, but never told the group because it would just be another thing for them to poke fun of about her.

In the same vein, I believe Britta’s parents were very homophobic, and that’s why she cut ties. I think she came out to them at a younger age and it was messy. It would make sense that she would refuse to tell the group why she didn’t get along with her parents: because she wasn’t ready to come out to the group yet. Instead it gets framed as her just rebelling for no reason.

We hear almost nothing about Britta’s past, except for a few offhand comments about a dinosaur-related trauma. Britta is incredibly quick to deny talking about her past, which led me to believe that she has some kind of trauma. Personally, I believe she was r*ped in her childhood, which would explain her extra effort to comfort troy when he lied about it. It would also explain why she is so fervently for women’s rights, especially when it has to do with bodily autonomy.

Dyslexic!Britta makes so much sense to me, because her parents were likely unsupportive, so she didn’t get much help or accommodations in school at a young age. This probably led to her habit of going out of her way to do poorly in a class so it looks like she’s just not trying, so she doesn’t have to face the reality that she never developed good study habits and she would have a lot of trouble in school even if she tried. Even though she doesn’t do well in school, she’s really smart, she’s just not great at articulating her points :))

She was a tomboy in elementary school before it was considered socially acceptable, and she was bullied ruthlessly for it. In her true, “stick it to the man” fashion, she never grew out of it.

Britta is terrified of Annie finding out that she won’t do well in school even if she DOES try, because she’s afraid Annie will lose respect for her.

Annie was the only one in the group she came out to, because she trusted her to keep a secret and not to judge. Annie asks her a LOT of questions, but Britta puts up with it.

Acts like a top, is really a bottom.

She has a crush on Annie from 21st century romanticism on, but never expresses it because she doesn’t want to make Annie uncomfortable.

Troy

Gay lmao

I definitely feel like he had a crush on abed around end of season 3/ beginning of season 4, but it was unreciprocated.

Troy has an inherent sensitivity that makes him the heart of the show, but it took a while for him to feel comfortable with that. I feel like he had a lot of parental pressure to be perfectly straight and masculine, since he was raised under a strict religion.

Troy never wanted to be an athlete. I believe he wasn’t allowed to explore his interests because he demonstrated talent for sports at a young age, and that’s what he was pressured to do for the rest of his life.

Troy doesn’t always understand how Abed functions, but he is always accepting, supportive and understanding. Instead of trying to understand how his brain works, he memorized the patterns of what bothers him and what doesn’t, and uses that to help his friend in the best way he can. It’s super sweet :))

Abed

Aro/ace Abed rights!! I haven’t seen this one as much, but I really like it. I genuinely don’t think abed has much interest in relationships, which has absolutely nothing to do with being neurodivergent. I think he feels pressure from the group to date, because that’s what they think is “normal.”

I LOVE Annie and Abed’s friendship but I definitely don’t ship them. Sure, they kissed once, but she was attracted to Han Solo, not abed. Annie was attracted to dean when he was actually like Jeff too, but she DEFINITELY wasn’t attracted to dean lmao. Instead, I think they’re both really close because they’re both neurodivergent, and Annie understands him more than anyone else in the group, albeit not entirely. They also have a special handshake you can see at the end of season one :)

This isn’t a headcanon but it’s *technically* never stated in the show but Abed definitely has autism. l DO headcanon that Annie has his safe foods written down in a list because she’s the only one who knows how to cook in the apartment, and she knows it’s important to him.

Abed has all of his friends’ likes and dislikes memorized and written down, as well as their birthdays, as a result of psychoanalyzing them. He gives the best birthday gifts and never forgets.

Definitely was the ACB (creds to film theory on that one)

Shirley

I don’t have a lot of theories for Shirley, because we see a lot of her personal story in canon. However, I do believe that she wasn’t always such a devout Christian. I think she was raised with Christian ideals, but it wasn’t central to her personality until Andre cheated on her. After she went though a dark period of (likely) alcoholism, I like to think that’s when she turned to Christianity, and it gave her hope. She loves it so much because it genuinely did save her from a bad time in her life.

I think she is a big part of the reason why Troy, Abed, Britta, and Annie are afraid to come out to the group. They assume she would never see them in the same light, when truth be told, she would love them all the same. I think she would be uncomfortable at first, but either she would come to the realization or britta would convince her that it is inherently Christian to love everyone, no matter what. Her motherly instincts take precedence over her Christian ideals.

Shirley views Annie as the daughter she never had, but is very careful not to tell her for fear of hurting her feelings. She very much enjoys helping her navigate college and seeing her mature. She also loves all their girl talk since this is the aspect of parenting that she doesn’t get with three boys. In the same vein, she loved teaching Britta how to have friends who are girls, and she likes to think she played a part in raising her.

Pierce

I don’t like pierce enough to psychoanalyze him lmao

Annie (saddle up, this is gonna be long)

Lesbiannie, obviously. Annie’s romantic tendancies SCREAM compulsive heterosexuality. Annie’s relationships with men are always schoolgirl crushes, and she even admits to abed that she never really liked Jeff, she just liked the idea that he was available and willing to love her. It also makes sense that she can’t stand the idea of not being perfect in every way, including heterosexual (because she confirms that her parents are bigoted and that’s likely what she was taught). I think she would have a lot of internalized homophobia, and she would be very insecure about her sexuality, seeing how she acted during the STD fair.

I would love to think Annie also had her first ever real, I like this person for themselves and not just because they’re attainable crush on Britta. She always looked up to her because she was so cool and far less uptight than she was, but as they grew closer, she saw her in a different light. I ship them hardcore lmao.

Annie has ADHD!! I could talk for hours about this, mostly because I have very similar struggles to Annie’s canon character arc (minus the drugs lmao) and it’s mostly due to my adhd. Long story short, she was likely raised undiagnosed until she discovered it herself, which led to trying adderall and overdoing it because she was unsupervised. She was likely very insecure about her ADHD, which led her to overcompensating academically. Because she masked so much in academic settings, it’s likely she didn’t have much of a social life because that’s where her symptoms presented themselves more.

In addition being friends with abed has made her far more comfortable unmasking. If you watch her in studies in modern movement you can see her stimming (flapping her hands, rocking back and forth and swinging her arms) way more than usual. She normally fidgets by fiddling with her fingers by her waist and pulling her elbows tight to her sides in a position suspiciously similar to raptor arms. Not only is this a common and discreet way to fidget, it is easily passed off as good posture. This makes sense, as it is Annie’s trademark resting position.

Annie reads YA books and a LOT of fanfiction for fun. The group expects her to be more well versed in classic literature, but the girl just loves her some vampires. It’s where she learned a LOT of her....dnd tricks ;).

Top energy that Jeff never let her use DEFINITELY comes out with Britta.

She helps Britta study and teaches her all the study habits she had to learn, and Britta’s grades improve a little bit!!

Switched to pantsuits because of britta, I like to think she had some influence on that.

Lost interest in Jeff after Basic Sandwich

Knew that Abed was the ACB the whole time, she definitely had it figured out in that binder lmao

Anyways enjoy, just figured I’d write this down somewhere haha

#annie edison #jeff winger #britta perry #annie x britta #troy and abed #abed nadir #community #community tv #troy barnes #lesbian annie #theyre just so cute together okay #neurodivergent #annie and abed #theyre buds

[the-overgrowth]

Please don't read this ask as combative, I'm just genuinely curious. How do you justify the age difference between Sidra and Val? I know you said Val is technically a teenager/young adult in fae years but isn't that the same justification a lot of immortal/mortal pairings use? (Like Twilight with Edward being "frozen" at 17.) The fact is that Val's lived literally 200+ years more than her and that has to color the experience divide, right? Is there a way authors CAN make these age gaps work?

No worries! I think it’s a good question and gives me an opportunity to clarify some stuff! I should preface this by saying that it’s totally ok if people aren’t comfy with the “young woman paired with ancient magical dude” trope that’s common in fantasy nowadays. It’s not for everyone and that’s fine. I’ve tried to make my take on it more morally palatable, but if it doesn’t work you, then it doesn’t work for you.

Putting this under a cut because it got long, oops.

Val isn’t “frozen,” he literally ages 10 times slower than Sidra, including mentally and emotionally. 50-year-old fae are the equivalent of 5-year-old children. Val being 223 is basically him being in his early twenties, barely mature enough by fae standards to be considered an adult. So while Val has been an adult longer than Sidra has been alive, from her perspective, Val has also been an official “adult” for like, 2-3 years, from his perspective. He also doesn’t see Sidra as being 2 years old, he sees her as being similar to himself in age, as a young adult. In fact, it fucks him up a little that she’s a fully grown person when she’s the same technical “age” as a toddler. The same way it fucks Sidra up that he’s still alive. He can’t wrap his head around how “quick” humans are. To him, growing a mind and a body and a personality takes centuries and she did it in two decades? Weird. Gross.

I should also mention that while yes, technically the sheer amount of stuff he’s seen is more than what Sidra has, the fae also perceive time differently than humans as a result of their immortality. So he doesn’t necessarily retain all of the stuff he’s lived through, or it doesn’t affect him the same way it might affect a young developing human.

However, this is all details compared to what I think is the most important thing in cases like these: framing.

In the case of Twilight, the framing emphasizes how Edward is mature and has been through high school and college multiple times, how he knows and understands more than Bella. His age is written as adding to his power, his allure. He doesn’t consider himself a teenager, and neither do his vampire peers. In every way but physical, he’s an ancient adult. It’s supposed to be intriguing that an older, intelligent and beautiful man would find a plain teenager attractive, and his age is used to reinforce his power and dominance.

If Edward perpetually had the mind of an actual 17-year-old instead of being “physically” 17 and mentally 109 or however old he is, I think Twilight would have the opposite problem of Bella eventually dating a teenager as she grows older unless she turns into a vampire. That’s sort of touched on in the books but it doesn’t go much further beyond “I will be a wrinkly old woman and you’ll be hot forever!” because, again, Edward already had Bella beat in the “life experience” department, and would still have that over her even as she grew older.

In the case of ACOTAR, it’s a similar thing. I don’t recall if it’s ever explained how the fae mature, but I do know that Rhys has been “waiting” for Feyre before she was even born? Like, the mating bond paired him up with a human infant at some point? And he has to wait for her to become an adult before they can boink? Same with Jacob and Renesmee. That’s just straight up magical grooming, fam. These men are adults for an extremely long time while they wait for their younger partner to catch up and become legal, often not even letting her live a life independently before they marry and have babies. These men become their partners’ lives.

In my case, Val’s age is framed against a backdrop of much older fae who patronize, belittle and insult him because he’s a young man poking his fingers into things that he’s too naïve to understand, according to them. This on its own doesn’t automatically solve the age difference, but he’s not framed as having power over Sidra, he’s not considered one of the oldest and most powerful fae, he’s not held up by the narrative as an older man who somehow, against his better judgment, is lusting over someone much younger than him because she’s just so mature and full of life and special. His age isn’t held up as a mark of experience and maturity and power. It’s just a thing that marks him as different from Sidra, on a magical worldbuilding level.

The younger party is also important. Are they inexperienced and naïve? Are they a young sheltered teenager, only now entering their first ever romantic/sexual relationship? Are they entering this relationship without any prior knowledge of who they are and what they want from life and a relationship with this person? Is this adult their first and only entry point to adult life in general? (Not saying you need to have multiple partners before you can find “The One” or anything, but having a frame of reference and knowing what you want out of life and the relationship is important IMO.)

Sidra doesn’t see Val as superior to her, she doesn’t think he’s above her and that she doesn’t “deserve him” or that he’s too good and cool for her, that she’s somehow not enough because she’s younger. She sees him as an equal, which makes any attempt at pulling the age/experience card pretty meaningless, because she doesn’t believe he knows what’s best in any given situation just because of his age. She doesn’t see him as an authority on most things and doesn’t consider herself below him in most things, either. She has already built a solid understanding of who she is and what she wants (or doesn’t want, at least). One of the first things that happens in the book is her rejecting a man because she realizes that she doesn’t want for herself what he wants for her.

And while yes, Val does eventually become a large part of her life and helps her figure out what she wants and needs and what she wants to become, she does the same thing for him. He isn’t a jaded old man taken with a pretty young thing who brings light back into his life or some other cishet-white-man nonsense, he’s young and stupid too and she helps him realize what he wants and who he wants to be. And they don’t do this on purpose to each other, it just happens through their interactions. Even if it were one-sided Val simply doesn’t have the maturity and experience to essentially “groom” Sidra into anything. Plus, they don’t get married and have children at the end (spoilers, I guess). They’re not bound to each other the same way many YA fantasy books often “bind” their young protags to their much older love interests (mating bonds, marriage, kids etc). Sidra still has the choice and ability to leave him whenever she likes and she’s fully aware of it.

That being said, my solution isn’t perfect and tbh I don’t think there is one? But this is fantasy, mortal-immortal pairings will always have weird dynamics because they’re not real and everyone makes up their own reference for how they should or shouldn’t work. Things like these will be subjective, and as long as the characters involved are adults, are making informed decisions and don’t have significant power imbalances because of their age difference, I think it can work! 

(The target demographic is also very important I think. Impressionable teens shouldn’t read things that make adult men attractive or desirable. My target demographic is a bit older than that and I hope most of my future readers will have enough sense and independent thinking to know not to imitate fiction. Plus, again, I’m not playing on or emphasizing the typical age gap power dynamic.)

Hope this answered your question!

#long post #worldbuilding #oc: sidra #oc: val #sorry this got rambly #Anonymous

[latibulesims]

I wanted to let you know that I find your comments towards other creators about lack of diversity a bit disrespectful. Especially when it comes to the LGBTQA+ scene. Directors should not have to plaster and make characters sexuality publicly known from the get go to get approval. It makes the characters less authentic and seem more as if they are only there to be the LGBTQA+ personality instead of just existing like everyone else.

Ah, there it is. Years of being very upfront about the importance of including LGBTQ+ and POC representation, in a community that shames people who try to do so, have finally caught up with me. Good thing I have the time today: 

First of all... When and where have I EVER said or done anything to imply that I believe in  “making characters sexuality publicly known from the get go to get approval”.................? Let’s look at my own projects for a second:

I’ll start off by mentioning the obvious: Epiphany. Epiphany is a coming of age plot about a girl discovering and coming to terms with her sexuality. Sort of like Love, Simon. Obviously, a series like that references sexuality. But the thing is: They’re not token characters, or characters added to feel ‘accepted’ or ‘to gain points’. It’s an LGBTQ+ series, with 90% of its characters being LGBTQ+. So, for the sake of not making you sound stupid, I’m going to assume you’re not talking about this series, and move on to my other projects where LGBTQ+ characters are a minority and could therefore be interpreted as token characters.

That brings us to my two running projects: The Rivers and The Foundlings:

For The Rivers, Raign’s sexuality isn’t revealed until the 5th episode, a year after the series premiered (not very get-go of me, but I digress). If you actually watched the series (which I’ll assume you did, given the bold assumptions), you’d know that her sexuality was revealed as a way to show how disconnected Jonah was from the rest of his family (For Tresor, he didn’t know she was engaged, and for Noah he didn’t know he had a heart disease), and not as a means to “plaster” her sexuality. Her sexuality is explicitly mentioned for literally 30 seconds and never again in the series - instead revealed through her relationships and who she’s attracted to, similar to every other character. Bellamy and Isla’s sexualities have never even been explicitly mentioned FOUR years into the series, because there wasn’t a need for it. How in the hell is that me plastering my characters’ sexualities? 

As for The Foundlings, I included the characters’ sexualities in their casting call because I wanted them to be voiced by voice actors that identify with that sexuality. This is for two reasons: 1) to give LGBTQ+ actors the opportunity to play roles they identify with, 2) to avoid a cishet voice actor backing down from a role after they find out their character isn’t cishet out of respect for non-cishet voice actors or because they’re homophobic/transphobic. Both of which I’ve seen happen before. . If you knew anything about being LGBTQ+ or POC inclusive, you’d know that that is a factor you need to take into consideration when casting. I’m not surprised that you don’t.

Neither The Rivers nor The Foundlings have or will have LGBTQ+ characters whose entire plot revolves around their sexuality. You couldn’t have possibly drawn the conclusion that I include LGBTQ+ people purely for diversity points from watching The Rivers or The Foundlings, since The Foundlings isn’t out yet and The Rivers explicitly refers to Raign’s sexuality in one fleeting scene from an episode 3 years ago. So, I’m assuming you came to this conclusion from stalking my tumblr or my twitter. So let me make myself absolutely clear:

I don’t tell people to parade their character’s sexualities. In fact, I have explicitly and repeatedly warned against doing so because we’re not here to be your token characters. Same with including people of color. I answered an ask with quick tips to writing in people of color without it coming off as asking for diversity points. I talked about developing lgbtq+ characters’ likes, dislikes, interests, past, future. About developing them as they would any of their white cishet characters. About avoiding 2 dimensional characters and stereotypes. If you’re a writer, who got “plaster your characters’ sexuality” from all of that, then I do sincerely hope your writing skills are better than your reading comprehension skills because yikes, lmfao.

I will say, I felt qualified to do so as a queer person of color myself, but of course, I can’t speak on behalf of all of people of color, and people of different sexualities. I'll admit the answer is inadequate, I didn’t write a whole damned article about it because... I didn’t/don’t want to. If you want fuller, more flushed out answers, then do some research since there’s a fuckton of articles about this specific topic out there. I am not claiming to have all the answers. I am just one of the handful of directors that actually speaks up on this topic, so you think I assume that I do.

And finally, 

If you can’t help but feel like you’re adding lgbtq+ characters “for points” when you write them in then you need to reevaluate your views. Being inclusive shouldn’t be such a controversial, hot topic. Any director that makes it seem like it is, is the one at fault. If I’ve offended you or anyone you know by calling out your lack of diversity, then good. I will never not shame people for not making others feel included or represented when they have the platform and the vessel to do so with their stories :).

[im-the-punk-who]

Idk if ur the right person to send this to so feel free to ignore if you aren't but I'm beginning to realize that I might be a trans guy after years of thinking I'm enby and I'm really struggling with that? I've received a lot of the messages over the years about how men are bad and violent and I've also experienced a lot of gender based violence before I was out. I know intellectually that there's nothing wrong with manhood and yet I'm still really struggling. Idk do you have any thoughts on learning to accept your own manhood

Okay! Sorry this took a few days to answer but this is...definitely still a complicated thing for me, too.

First off I wanna say that whether you end up identifying as a binary trans man or somewhere in between that and nonbinary, that is very cool and valid and all of this can apply no matter where on the spectrum of masculinity you ultimately end up falling.

I saw a post which explains the basic thesis of what I'm gonna say, which is that your gender does not equal your morality. 

Tumblr in particular really likes to go hard on the misandry and it can be really hard not to internalize that. Especially when it comes in the form of so many jokes, and especially especially when some of it does line up with experiences you’ve had. The biggest thing to realize, is that just *being a man* doesn't make you inherently violent or toxic or bad. All of the things that Tumblr and feminism in general tends to equate to “being a man = bad” are things that are learned or encouraged over time, no matter how much terfs like to insist they are traits inherent in being born with a y chromosome. 

(And yes, these misandry arguments ALL have their basis in gender essentialism and in arguing why trans people can’t exist.)

As this relates to trans men, it becomes akin to walking a tightrope our entire lives. In both society at large and LGBT spaces we're made to fit as close as possible into gender norms to avoid violence or oppression(or the insistence we’re really just lesbians or self-hating cishets). But we also have first hand experience of the ways in which men are *socialized* to behave being harmful and don’t want to perpetuate them and be labeled a ‘bad person’. So we have to constantly walk this line of, I suppose trying to act manly enough while also trying not to cause waves (And, AS A NOTE, does that sound eerily similar to the argument most feminists say is purely a feminine experience? Is it almost like the very system that seeks to free cis women through hatred of men perpetrates those exact same systems onto other marginalized communities?)

And I will say, this is something I still struggle with. A lot. It's not going to be something you can take a magic pill for and never have to worry about again. I started transitioning almost a decade ago and I'm still trying to find the balance. Cis men can spend their *whole lives* trying to find that balance. I know quite a few - in case it feels like this is a purely trans experience. Reckoning with the way that male privilege has socialized men to harm at the same time radical feminism has socialized everyone it can that all men intentionally cause harm is a universal experience among men who are aware of it. 

It's not easy, and I guess just...if you feel like you're struggling on that front as you continue your gender journey(Laynie i hate you i hate you i hate you) try to remind yourself that you're not alone. And that what you’re fighting against is a systemic socialization, not something inherent in yourself. You’re going to screw up - that doesn't make you a bad person or a bad man.

I listen a lot to Brene Brown. 

I know people are probably sick of hearing me talk about her, but she is a shame researcher who honestly helped me a LOT in realizing why I was feeling so bad about parts of my personality or my gender expression. She’s excellent. If you find you’re having a lot of trouble reckoning with being this thing you have perceived as bad for a very long time, I highly recommend listening to some of her ted talks and other speeches. Most of them are on youtube. 

For a long time I was trying to base my gender off of what I thought people would love. I went over the top, dressed in popular styles, was WAY more feminine than I actually feel, and tried to make myself as unassuming as possible - in part because of childhood trauma but also because I was genuinely ashamed to be a man(particularly a gay man) because I had internalized the idea that men - especially gay men - were woman-haters. (And, because I hated *myself* as a woman, I thought that I also hated women, and I thought that I must be one of those Bad Gays.)

But once I stopped trying to do that? Once I was like ‘no I’m actually a gay-up man’ and stopped berating myself for not liking my feminie body and hating the parts of myself that I didn’t identify with but felt forced to perform? Once I started looking at what made *me* happy and not other people? It became so much easier to not feel those things. 

SO I guess, what I’m saying is that the best way to deal with internalized misandry is to try to forgive yourself, and recognize that the things that men perpetrated against you and that people say are ‘toxic male traits’ are not *inherent* to being a man. They are things that are taught to men(both cis and trans) by society. And also that like, these are also things that are not just inherent to men. Any toxic trait that a man exhibits a woman can too - and yeah there’s a discussion about how the general power imbalance between men and women makes it less likely a woman would cause as much damage but honestly? If you’re on tumblr you’re most likely in female dominated spaces where arguably that isn’t true, especially with the number of fucking TERFS on this website. 

Also....you do not inherit cismale privilege just by identifying as a man. No matter how far you take your transition, you are *always* going to be at a different level of privilege from a cisman. Even if you transition as far as you are able to right now and live and pass as a cisman for the rest of your life, you are not a cisman and that is going to affect how you move through the world.

(That doesn’t mean you are not a *man* because you are not cis, btw. Just that there are things that cismen don’t have to worry about that are going to affect your life - things like ovarian cancer, breast cancer, hormonal dependence, corrective abuse, medical shortages, physical differences that out transpeople - there are a hundred things that trans men have to experience throughout their lives that cismen are never, ever going to deal with. And yes, this goes for transwomen / cis women as well.)

Something that helped me become comfortable living as a man was to look at specific traits of the men in my life. Why did I feel comfortable around this man, but not others, what red flags physically or emotionally did this behavior set off in me? And then focusing on those specific *behaviors* rather than the men themselves. If you can separate the individual traits from an overarching idea of 'manhood' that might be helpful in feeling like you can inhabit manhood without being toxic. 

Basically, my best advice is to tell yourself that what makes you a man does not make you inherently toxic. In fact what makes *all* men, men, does not make them inherently toxic. Men are not trash just because they’re men, and the fight against misandry *is* a fight for marginalized people. It hurts transmasculine people in exactly the ways you are hurting. No matter what TERFs say - no matter what male-critical or whatever they’re calling themselves to not have to call themselves TERFs say - men are not born evil, or bad, or trash. 

Toxic masculinity is a learned behavior. It is not something you are given the day you start identifying as a man, and it is not something you have to perpetuate. 

Calling it anything else does a disservice to everyone who identifies as masculine of center but especially trans men, who have to reckon with this exact knowledge that in affirming who they are, certain people are going to hate them and call them monsters and tell them they are trash and unworthy of loving without hurting. 

And that shit just isn’t true. It isn’t fucking true! Men are not toxic just because they are men, and you are not a bad person just because you are a transman. That’s, I suppose, the best advice I can offer you. I hope it helps, and I also just want to reiterate that I hope you find affirmation in whatever you end up deciding. <3 <3 <3

#milo answers #gender #queer tag #transmasc #anon i hope you see this i know its a few days since you sent it #anon #Anonymous #long post

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 12.10.20 lb

gosh after watching rrahul be a hunka burning love in twisted, to see him like this?????

agony. AGONYYYYYYYYY.

red suit, yellow wallet. only missing blue shoes. 🤡🤡🤡

LET THIS DUDE SMILE MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. SUCH NICE SMILEY FACE HE HASSSSSSSS.

anyway, repeat of yest's last scene with the watch. fwding.

SEJAL YOU DUMB AF WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE NOISE?!?!!? YOU CAN STILLL MAKE GENERAL GRUNTING NOISES EVEN IF YOUR MOUTH IS BOUND!??!!?!?!?!?!

this idiot is going and fighting with saasumaa. godddddddd, sis.

tbh, i relate with this mummyji the most. i am also totally done with riddhima's dumb ass.

these two legit fighting like siblings and are threatening each other ki papa ko ghar aane do, main SABBBBBBBBBBBBB bata doongi. papa being vansh here. god, what an unenviable position he's in.

this one is sure of the sheer power of heterosexuality that vansh will take her side only. uh huh, ok. never does trusting a cishet man work out well, but ok, try it out sis.

it's honestly so fucking hard to be on riddhima's side for this, coz she's just being such a goddamn asshole about outing anupriya's secret. like this is literallllllllllly none of anyone else's business?

i want vansh to brush this news off with “pshhhhh, i knew. i always knew. i just dgaf about's mom's past coz it's really none of my business.” just to see riddhima eat crow.

mom's like jo hota hai, karle. bhaad mein jaao tum aur tumhari ainvayi ki dhamki. #teamMummy

LE. PAPLU TAPLU KA NAYA PLAN. COPPER SULPHATE SOLUTION SYRINGE MEIN BHARKE USKO TRUTH SERUM BOL RAHEIN HAIN. YAAAAAAAAR, KOI TOH INHE ROK LO. BEWAKOOFI PE BEWAKOOOFI KARTE JAA RAHEIN HAIN AUR HUMKO BAITHKE DEKHNA PAD RAHA HAI.

random dadi and riddhima filler scene. pass.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SEJAL WENT MISSING IN THE TIME THESE TWO WERE HAVING THEIR SIDEBAR ABOUT THE TRUTH SERUM. 

hahahahahahahahaha i'm really enjoying these two dumbasses panicking.

yissssssssss, kabir time. love watching his deranged ass more than anything else in this stupid show.

HE'S CALLING TO ASK WHAT COLOUR ROSES SHE LIKES. DUDE. WEREN'T YOU SUPP TO BE HOME BY NOW??????

she's like bitch just get your ass back home i can't deal with your crazyass fam alone for one more second. haaaaaaye, oberois ki yaad aa gayiiii. :')))))

“bas raaste mein hoon.”

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS WHEN YOU ALREADY BOUGHT ALL THREE COLOURS???? THE FUCK YOU GONNA DO WITH THE OTHER TWO BOUQUETS??? THROW THEM AWAY??????????????

and now he's standing here and soliloquizing about the damn roses like he’s doing a one man shakespeare in the park. ouffffffffffffffffffff.

ALSO IF YOU ALREADY DECIDED KI KAUNSE DENE HAIN, THEN WHY DID YOU CALL AND ASK AND RUIN THE SURPRISE FOR HER?????? MAN EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW IS A FEW CARDS SHORT OF A DECK.

this room looks like what the inside of my mind would look like if i dropped acid instead of taking my regular antidepressant. dark and gloomyass fug central.

blah blah blah blah ainvayi ka talking out loud. i don't care. fwding to the action.

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK BEHEN THIS AINT GANGS OF WASSEYPUR THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

unnecessary side note: i wish my titties were small enough to wear cute backless things like these. NOPE. need a whole heavy duty setup at all times. ugh.

yes, back to my fav. nutjob.

lol i really enjoy how casually he's asking her shit with electrocution waale wires in his hand.

literally no one else in this show can act like this with just their eyes, and that's why i like watching him the most.

ASDJKLASDLASDJLSAKDJLASKJDLSKJLKJ RIDDHIMA YOU CRAZYASS BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lol sejal has high hopes from her dumber-than-a-slice-of-bread bff.

kabir's perma-1000%-done-with-your-shit face is The Mood for 2020.

hey you guys hear that popping sound?!??! don’t worry, it was just that sejal ke suhaane sapne ka bulbula phoot gaya.

suhaagan cannot bear to be touched by paraaya mard. but it's not like she's getting touched by her sagaa mard either, so.......

OHNOEEEEEEEE RED VELVET HUSBAND IS BACK.

riddhima's one dormant brain cell has finally awakened. i'm sure it's just doing karwats in aadhi-neend, but thoda sa toh jaaga.

but also, NO RIDDHIMA. YOU'RE NOT AT ALLLLLLLLLLL WORTHY OF TRUST. BITCH YOU SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY. LITERALLY. LIKE FULLON DEEP REM CYCLE GHODE BECH KE SLEEPING.

yeah ok your girl friendship is very awwwwwwwwww-worthy and all, but i'm less sympathetic to it coz you two are a buncha goddamn idiots.

kabir trying last ditch effort to pin this on vansh but majaaal hai jo dharampatni apne parmeshwar ke khilaaf ek lafz bhi sune. i don't really blame kabir for wanting to off riddhima. very irritating and party badloo she is.

this fool taking baby steps like govinda in deewana mastana.

wait i know those basicasssssss tattoos. that's not vansh.

yup. this bitch.

hein???? the scene just ended randomly with riddhima finishing her piece and leaving. toh what room did aryan enter??? THIS SHOW IS SO FUCKING RANDOM. THIS IS NOT HOW YOU JUST INSERT AND END SCENES.

these losers i literally dgaf about anymore.

“pati ke bina patni adhoori hai havan mein.” oh literally fuckkkkkkkkkk off with this bs, pandit.

WHAT NONSENSE; IF HE'S REACHING NOW, THEN WHO THE FUCK WAS WEARING THOSE SAME PANTS AND WALKING AROUND???? THERE'S MORE THAN ONE OF THEM UGLYASS PANTS IN THIS FAMILY????? OFFFFFFFFF TO FASHION JAIL WITH ALL OF YOU RAISINGHANIAS!!!!!!!

btw is their last name raisinghania or just singhania?? coz kabir said “singhania family”. also the mansion is named VR, which is i guess for Vansh Rai? which is a weird way to split the name???? i have so many questions about this show i don't really care to find answers for.

yikes what is this dumbassery? this a body double? doesn’t look like it?!?!

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUMBASS SEJAL ELECTROCUTED HERSELFFFFFFFFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

kabir is a better person than i am, coz i would really be too busy lmao to help her out.

oh ho, april fool banaaya.

this dude still maaring entriyaan like he has been for more than 3/4th the episode now.

omfggggggggggggggg wth mummy ji.

ASDJFKSDJSFKDSKJFDKSSDKJ WHY DOES HE YELL LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!!?!? IT LOOKS FUCKING INSANE. HE DID IT IN THAT SCENE WHERE RIDDHIMA HAD JUST DONE THAT WALK OF FIRE TOO. IT'S JUST SUCH BAD ACTING?!?!?!!?!? STOP DIRECTING MY MAN LIKE THIS, YOU FUCKS. I KNOW FOR A FACT NOW THAT HE CAN ACT DECENTLY.

also lmao the way he's holding the bouquet.

OH GOD THE RUNNING. EVEN WORSE. i really don't understand why this show is doing him so dirty.

also bechaara abhi abhi covid se recover hua hai, stop making him run around like this!!!

the yelling at aryan to get the first aid kit was his normal voice.

idhar inka WWE still chalu.

how'd the copper sulphate syringe make it to into this one's hands????

anyway whatever, sweet dreams, stupid sejal. your brain activity levels are pretty much the same whether you're awake or asleep, so, no big loss here.

this mummy legit evil haan. like i could overlook a lot of things, but this shit was downright diabolical.

panditji, the smartest one here, nopes the fuck out asap.

lmao he's telling her to mooh bandh rakho so rudely. a lil politeness for a person who just fell down the stairs would be nice, vansh. also maybe don't crush her in a bearhug like this until you know no other bones are broken?

vansh:

um why the fuckkkkkkkkkk is kabir walking around here all khullam khulla????? you coulda just left with sejal????

lo. aa vansh, mujhe maar ho gaya yeh toh.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

[ofcloudsandstars]

Hey, dear! I've missed seeing you on my dash, how are you doing? What would you say your summer has been like? Sending lots of love and good vibes!

Ahhh this is so kind! I hope you have been well too. I am working on September’s forecast but I have been a bit slow since I am tired with some stuff going on. I am working on a sacred geometry virtual gallery for the plant alchemist mentor so I have been dizzy with motion sickness throwing this gallery together before the full moon haha. 

Last week I just got back from the most insane adventure that I may probably get around to writing another endlessly long post about haha. (editing this post, it turns out that THIS has become the endlessly long post about it haha so I am having a read more added). CW: sex details. It may be TMI but I added a warning before lol 

  Anyway I was having this mutual attraction with this italian guy I met through work who ALSO has a venus in Scorpio like me. We were going to go on a date but the world succumbed to The Plague. He returned to Puglia to be with his family as he quit the company and his apartment so he can just chill and live for free while he figures stuff out, but he was flirting with me through text all throughout lockdown and begging me to visit him when it was safer to travel so I was like: Oh yeah?!?!?! And I booked a 5 day long first date/vacation to Puglia to be with him lmaoo. Venus in Scorpio is intense as hell but we just be like that. My close aries witch friend moved to Southern Italy with her BF too for the time being so I was like ok if stuff goes south she can come save me but this guy like took me FARRR AWAY on the southern coast like 3 hours from her omg. He booked beautiful places like old medieval stone villas (omg one place had a wooden four poster bed, a stone fireplace with a cauldron and a huge color-changing hot tub jacuzzi next to the bed lmaoooo) and we ate endless seafood and went to the beach everyday. Only set back is we were NOT SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE at ALL and it’s really sad cause yeah I got his star chart and over analyzed it before going over there but sometimes I doubt myself like ohh not everyone is their starchart to a T, like you should give people a chance. But he was  e x a c t l y  like his star chart.

First he has A LOT of trines like a lot of fire energy which is great. He’s super passionate, but the trines means he is too chill and positive which is nice but it means he has little motivation to do anything. (Think when there are great trine transits happening, it’s FANTASTIC for doing magic and manifesting things but those days the energy is so chill and harmonious you don’t even want to do anything and they can easily pass you by.) Meanwhile my chart?? It’s fucking SQUARES ALL DAY BABEY like Squares, Oppositions and more Squares. I have something called the grand cross on my fucking chart lmao. So that means I overthink, I can get stressed easily, my life soundtrack is just this long anxiety ridden drum and base background music as I fucking parkour through endless obstacles of racism, sexism, gender identity, fleeing the states cause it’s becoming a totalitarian government, learning a bunch of european languages and skills in case I gotta flee england next, thinking about the future, thinking about my actions in the present, thinking about how I can learn from the wounds of my past, lmao everything is thought about at least 1000 times. I also have a lot of Saturn energy my chart is Saturn dominant so there is a lot of planning, structure and organizing to me. Meanwhile since he is hosting he never has a plan and is always ‘go with the flow’ so sometimes it makes me nervous cause the first place he booked was some GHETTO sex motel that looked like sex traffic was happening in there and I was in the middle of no where with him and I was nervous like praying to the Spirits of Nature and Venus to help me work this out haha. But it was ok. 

His life is so easy cause he’s like a handsome italian man with a mom that wants him to live at home with her until he finds a wife to mommy him. He never has to do any house work or really any work at all cause his parents will support him cause that’s normal in Italy. Honestly if I got with him I would never get that same treatment I would also be hauling ass in the background to cater to him and our kids until the day I die. He also doesn’t really understand what it’s like to be of a group of people ostracized by society. He is a hot cishet white man and has a whole community of good friends and a mom to support him with whatever he does.

He’s also like really traditional and was raised Christian. I told him I was a witch and he was like ohhhhhhhmyGOddddddd and thought it was fucking weird haha and I was like: YOU NEVER NOTICED ME AND ROXANNE (my aries witch friend who moved to Italy who literally wears massive metal pentagrams everyday) ARE WITCHES?! And he was like: I do not know about this haha. 

Lastly about his starchart which worried me when I first reviewed it is that our natal mars are at a square. I mean I have had sex with someone’s Mars in Aries before and it was great but his sex?? Was TERRIBLEEEE!!!!!!!!! TERRIBLEEEEEEEE OHHHH MY GOD. I am going to add a CW for some sex details in case you want to scroll but like: 

--

My Mars is in Cancer so I do like it to be sensual and cuddly with some oral action but he was like so terrible and disgusting and I feel like he probably only slept with girls in his country who may have been traditional like him and never said anything to him cause I am like I dunno how you got away with this for so long having terrible sex like this. Like so grabby and aggressive it fucking hurts like he would have left bruises and I hate that shit like sex is supposed to feel good!! I don’t mind if you grab my ass cause it’s just sacks of fat lol but my boobs have shit in them like glands you can’t be grabbing that!! And sorry this may be TMI but like I’d communicate with him all the spots I’d like him to go to cause they are the most sensitive ones and he’d just ATTACK THEM like some type of police dog sniffing hidden cocaine I am like BITCH CALM DOWN I literally would have to stop him so many times so he wouldn’t hurt me. And he once said: Oh but I like that (being aggressive in bed) and that annoyed me so much I was like: Oh so if you like aggression do you want me to grab and twist your balls in the same way? And he was like: no. lol 

And then his kissing was tErrible. He wouldn’t even start out sensual he would literally just shove his whole tongue in my mouth and it’d be slimy and terrible and tastes like the ash from the weed he’s always smoking and once during sex I bent down to make out with him and he literally just stuck his tongue out in preparation I paused like: NO!!! Like omg he got me so heated I am so heated just typing this lmao. I am also really sensitive with like sensory things and have misophonia so sometimes if certain stimulations are stimulating me the wrong way I get more put off than the usual person and sex is so intimate like every time he grabbed a sensitive part of me I wanted to slap him the fuck back haha. The funniest part though is when I’d give up on him trying to pleasure me (everything was terrible, the fingering was like someone who is in a rush to get the elevator and is jamming the button impatiently; the actual fucking was like.. off beat?? And he could NEVER LAST; he gave me head once but that was interesting I felt like he was trying to karate chop my clit with his tongue lmao I was like please stop omg) I was like fine ok just lie down and I will give you head and we can get this over with.. And when I gave him head for the first time he did not moan or anything he would just say: Mamma Mia!!; and FUCKING HELL it would kill the mood but also I couldn’t concentrate cause I’d be fucking laughing just choking on him laughing like I could NOT. 

-- End sex detail mention lol 

Anyway I am always wary of sex with Mars in Aries people but this experience is going to make me avoid them and have trust issues haha. Anyway I got a lovely free vacation in a beautiful region with incredible food. His friends were nice though my Italian is really terrible and nonexistent (omg also speaking about communication, he forgot most of his english so it was a challenge speaking to him haha). We were both wild as hell to do this even though we didn’t really know each other but whatever that’s the Scorpio in Venus. And in a perfect Scorpio fashion we may never see each other ever again because he may not return to London, I mean we pretty much fell out of infatuation with each other cause of the terrible sex chemistry and the only reason I have to return to that region of Italy is to see my witch friend there but there is a chance she is going to move to London again and she lives in a different city from him lol. 

So yeah I have been quiet over here but this is my current life. If you want to look at the gallery I am working on it’s in it’s rough draft form but you can find it here! 

https://www.artsteps.com/view/5f4946b290389d2f7d705e86

#personal #seiokona #back at it again with me never having a moment of chill lol

[jaywrites101]

Why You Should be Voting Democrat: The Republicans are Hypocrites Against God.

This is an essay I now have to give to a person living in this house with me. Some context, they pinned a piece of Republican propaganda they received in the mail to the community posterboard with the words “why I vote Republican” written on it. I have interpreted this as an invitation to challenge their beliefs. And my response is in the essay below.

Sincerely, By Everyone in This House

Pro-life vs Pro-Choice

This argument is a messy one to argue, this is something our country is literally divided over this and each argument is so twisted it's hard for either side to understand one another. For this to be the hill you've chosen to fight on I'm going to have to assume two things—1: you believe abortions are murder, and 2: You believe abortions are a common occurrence made by lazy people who want to get rid of the consequences of their bad actions.

Both of these are common arguments made by the Republican party to defund Planned Parenthood. So it may surprise you that not a single person on the Left is trying to disprove your fighting points.

That's because this isn't about abortions at all. It's about women's rights. Abortions only play into this because it was the item that forced the issue before the courts and the public.

In 1973, Roe v. Wade was a landmark decision of the U.S. Supreme Court in which the Court ruled that the Constitution of the United States protects a pregnant woman's liberty to choose to have an abortion without excessive government restriction. This decision effectively guaranteed that a woman had the right to treat her body as her own property, meaning she could choose what she eats, who she has sex with, and, yes, whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term.

The decision ruled that the US Government has no right to decide the moral outcome of a single person's choices. Nor do they have the right to force a person to live in what they currently believe to be an ethical lifestyle.

This is the one and ONLY law in our country that explicitly gives women the same rights to life, responsibility, and authority that a man has. It also the only law that ensures a woman has the ultimate right to refuse to have sex with a man.

Republicans want to overturn Roe v. Wade and defund Planned Parenthood (not end abortions). They often cite the evils of abortions as the reasons why they want to overturn it. However, this is not their real motivation. Planned Parenthood has a multitude of other services for women and men besides abortions. They help people conceive children, provide safe-sex alternatives to reckless teens, provide both erectile stimulants and contraception, and even hormone therapy for trans people transitioning genders. They also provide pregnancy care for women just like any other hospital.

And as we've discussed Roe v. Wade is about a woman's rights to her body.

Republicans are trying to keep women from having equal rights. This much has been stated by Republicans in the 1970s and that mentality continues to today. It's blatant hypocrisy from a group of people who've only read the Bible enough to make real Christians like yourself believe they're doing God's work. And they are not shy about signaling how religious they are. God even has a Bible verse for them specifically:

 “Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.” Matthew 6:2. (NKJV)

Government Spending

This one's actually a very easy argument to refute. Republicans are always talking about making tax cuts and spending less money. In truth, all the money they save goes straight into the military budget which increases by BILLIONS of dollars each year. We're currently spending $934 billion a year on our military budget. According to the last Discretionary Spending Audit under Obama, more than half of that goes back into the politicians in both the House and the Senat across both sides of the aisles. That's also why this issue is one many Democrats actively support; the military is giving them a kickback.

The tax cuts you experience is not the government saving an extra twenty cents by cutting out beef from their cafeteria and passing the savings to you. It's the Republican party throwing the US into more debt to artificially give you a tax break so you'll continue to vote for them, and force the Democrats to be the ones to have to put that back to normal so they look like the bad guys.

Long story short, if you want the government to save money, vote Democrat, pay higher taxes and demand a drastic decrease in military spending.

Fun Fact: If we succeed in cutting the military budget by one-hundredth of a percent, the excess funds would pay to empower EVERY SOCIAL SERVICE the democrats suggest (from healthcare all the way to free electricity.) for the next ten years.

Education (Really? This one's so backward you should know better without me explaining.)

Republicans have been so far on the wrong side of this debate I'm surprised I have to tell it to you. For decades they've cut school budget both in the public and private sectors. They happily cut millions of dollars a year from the federal grants that are supposed to help kids afford college, while also artificially inflating the price of school, school supplies, and class prices.

This is not some secret thing you'll have to search hard for. They brag about it on tv every other episode of Fox News. 

The document you gave me lists education but provides no real proposals or examples of problems they hope to change, it is preying on your ignorance in this situation to make themselves look good. (What follows was not any part of the document they left, but are bullet points I thought they should be thinking about when they go to vote.)

Gay Rights

People who are gay, or otherwise not cishet WASPS should have the right to live a life of their own choosing without persecution or judgment from us. Jesus says everyone has that right amongst man. We're supposed to leave all that to God, so leave it for God.

Racism

I direct you to the current protests as proof that Racism is a thing that still exists, and has only gotten more unmanageable as time has moved on. Also, every Black Lives Matter protest since Martin Luther King Jr.

Socialism

Roads, parks, schools, and social security are all social programs funded by the government for the people. We on the Left wish to expand these capacities to healthcare, electricity, internet, higher education, and phone services, while also insisting that the government provide the minimum funding needed for people to live. (This in a time when the cost of living keeps rising higher due to unchecked capitalism.) We demand the government provide for the homeless, and regulate the supply chain of food. (because over 70% of all food in the garbage across this country is thrown away while it's still fresh.)

We have the ability to end starvation, and homelessness in this country. We argue this means we have the responsibility to do so as well.

Gun Reform

Democrats believe no civilian needs access to weapons of war. It's too easy to exploit these weapons and it results in mass killings of innocents. There are far better and more effective ways to defend yourself and your family than buying a bunch of guns and shooting anything that makes a noise in the night.

Police Reform

This is the current agenda. Police have gone unpunished for their crimes against civilians, (especially civilians of color,) and our current system 1: Encourages police to kill first, ask questions never, 2: Forces cops to take on roles they are untrained for, and 3: Gives them too much power without any reliable method of accountability. We demand all three of these things be addressed and changed in a meaningful way.

All of this without even mentioning Trump, the man actively trying to be a dictator.

#politics #trump #vote #fuck trump #against trump #this person is driving me insane with their political views

[eldritchsurveys]

1072.

1. How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? >> Mostly neglectful, occasionally abusive. I didn’t take care of it for long stretches of time because I was homeless and didn’t have 1) the executive function; 2) the products; and 3) the time and space to take care of it properly (and Black hair does not take kindly to casual neglect). I mostly struggled with it and fought with it and smothered it in headwraps and wigs and let it go to ruin. Even when I got to a place where I could feasibly take care of it, I found that my struggles did not cease -- I just couldn’t make it work, ever. Eventually I realised the power and grace of the almighty buzzcut and I haven’t looked back for about 3 years now. (And when I want an actual hairstyle, I just grab a wig. If only compulsive cishet-ness hadn’t kept its stranglehold on me for so long after leaving home, I would have adopted this a loooooong time ago.)

2. How do you practice truly living in the moment? >> I don’t make a big deal out of that. I’m post-traumatic, of course I’m going to struggle with it. I just do my best.

3. Do you think most abusers know they’re being abusive? >> I don’t know how to measure that. I think that some do and some don’t. I think that one may know that x behaviour is abusive but not realise that y behaviour is also abusive. And so on; but mostly I think that in the case of the abused, it really doesn’t matter -- the effect is the same. 

4. How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? >> None of these kinds of situations really make any sense to me for a number of reasons, so I don’t know how to answer this.

5. What perfume of yours does your SO love on you? >> ---

6. Have you made any (at least semi-) permanent alterations to your appearance? If so, how did you find the experience and do you regret it? >> I mean, I have piercings and tattoos. I do not regret them at all.

7. What are some ways you make yourself feel good before you start your day? >> Sometimes it’s not possible. I do my best to remind myself that the giant hole of despair and alienation in the center of my being is not, in fact, all there is to the universe by doing stuff like making hot cocoa or tea, watching something silly or earnest, listening to music (and maybe dancing), and cuddling in bed with Inworlders and plushies.

8. Women with disabilities/anxiety/depression/other mental health issues/chronic illnesses, how do you get it across to your SO/friends that sometimes you just can’t do something? >> ---

9. Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? >> ---

10. Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? >> I wish I’d noticed how insanely cishet-normative this survey was before I took it. There’s just so few new surveys going around that I pounce on the first thing I see that I haven’t taken yet. (Also, like, what surveys aren’t insanely cishet-normative at this point.)

11. What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? >> There never was a turning point. I just know that I’m ill-suited for the raising of children. I have the very strong desire to never be the source of a child’s trauma if I can help it, and I know there’s enough wrong with me that accidentally traumatising a child would be a very real possibility if I had to be responsible for one.

12. How do you feel about men who preface statements on non-gendered things with “as a guy”? >> ---

13. Does anyone else just HAVE to wear pajamas/lounge clothes when you’re at home? >> I mean... it’s not, like, a compulsion. I just don’t see the point of wearing anything else.

14. Ladies, what’s the silliest thing you do with your SO? >> ---

15. Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? >> I never had a “dream wedding”. The real wedding I ended up having was pretty cool, though -- and I say that as someone who was pretty disinterested in the concept.

16. What would your reaction be if your SO wanted the opposite type of wedding than you did? >> Fortunately, that was not at all the case.

17. What kind if body type do you find attractive and unattractive (for your preferred sex)? >> ---

18. How do you feel about strangers approaching you with compliments? >> It depends on the compliment. Most casual compliments are fine -- “I like your outfit”, “you did good at x thing”, etc. I am grateful for those. But some compliments are just uncomfortable for me and I’d rather not receive them from strangers -- usually appearance-based ones.

19. Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a Strip Club and then doesn’t tell you? >> If Sparrow ever went to a strip club, I would hope she had the best time possible. I would be pretty confused if she didn’t tell me, though.

20. Would you be more offended if your man cheated on you with a guy or a girl? >> ---

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs “terminator: dark fate”, part one

In which I write two thousand words about the first two minutes, which is why it takes me four hours to watch a two-hour film.

The DVD says R rated for "Violence throughout". God I hope so.

3 dvd trailers just to get to the menu. thank goodness for fast forward. You can't skip them entirely, but you can skip to two seconds before they're over.

Also I can't help but note that one of the trailers is for Gemini Man, a movie about old!Will Smith battling a digitally de-aged!Will Smih, and I cannot help but admire the irony given how de-aginging software will be used in the film I am trying to see. Another trailer is for the Top Gun sequel. More irony.

the dvd menu is just the first thirty seconds of the theme with random movie clips, which just cuts out as soon as it gets good. not a fan.

grainy video footage of Sarah Connor from T2 with her v/o recounting her vision of nuclear holocaust to Silbermann AS THE COMPANY LOGOS FLASH ON SCREEN, this is (probably) not meant to be symbolic of the destructive influence of capitalism BUT OH MY GOD THE IRONY

Ocean waves on a beach, exposing a human skull. Then slow zoom out to reveal more bones. Old!Sarah narrates the story for those of us just tuning in. Terminators rising from the ocean while HK planes hover above. They see a little girl hiding beside a downed helicopter and aim at her--

--cut to the same (?) beach in Guatemala, 1998. Old!Sarah says "That future never happened because I stopped it," and we see her sitting by the beach in a bar, watching teenage John chat up a girl.

The CGI looks good here. John's face is fuzzy and at a distance, but it works in context, and t2-era!Sarah looks great. I wouldn't guess it was CGI if I didn't know it was CGI here. And this, my friends, is the future of filmmaking right here, and I have a lot of thoughts and feels about it, but that's a rant for another time. Let's just say that it's HIGHLY IRONIC that the people who basically invented Photoshop so they could make T2 are using this face-altering business on real actors, making them effectively shapeshifters just like the Terminators in this franchise. (Iirc, in T2, the CGI was used mainly for the shifting BETWEEN the faces of real actors--not on the actors themselves.)

And then young(er)!Arnold strolls in as John turns, and you can SEE him freeze as he RECOGNIZES the T-800, but doesn't have time to react--and the T-800 fires.

Sarah pulls a gun out of her pants and fires straight into his back. If she'd been facing in the other direction, she would have seen the T-800 and started firing right away, but she didn't. And I bet the T-800 deliberately set it up that way because he knew--whether Skynet told him or not--that Sarah was a threat.

She tries to grab the gun away from the T800 and it doesn't work. He pulls her head back and tosses her away. He could have killed her, but he doesn't. I don't know why. (PLOT!) Maybe because it's not his mission. Anyway, Sarah is like three feet away from her son, down on the ground, as he's shot in front of her. It's her worst nightmare come true, just when she thought everything was okay.

The scan from the T-800's perspective as he registers TARGET TERMINATED is pretty cool. And then he drops the gun and walks away, and Sarah is left with the dead body of her son.

"I saved three billion lives," Old!Sarah says, "but I couldn't save my son. A machine took him from me, and I was terminated."

WHAM.

CUT TO OPENING TITLE AND THEME.

Okay, so this is a controversial opening, and a lot of people hated it, but I am personally okay with it. Partially, it's because I am not emotionally attached to John Connor the same way I am attached to Sarah, or even Kyle. John Connor may be the savior of humanity in the Terminator mythos up until now, but he's also a macguffin in T1 (and arguably in T2 as well). He's not an independent agent, and his actions/decisions don't drive the plot in the same way that Sarah's do. John's story after a certain point in any timeline is very difficult to write well. Case in point: movies that are ostensibly about John Connor--T3 and Terminator: Salvation--are also the ones that "everybody" thinks are terrible, and Sarah is not present. I don’t think this is a coincidence.

People SAY they want a John Connor-centered movie, and maybe it's possible to do a better job that T3/Salvation/etc, but I think it would be very challenging--and I don't think it would be a Terminator movie at all. It would be a sci-fi action/horror featuring humanity vs. intelligent killer robots, but that's a different beast from a Terminator film--which is very much a commentary on contemporary human/machine interactions and therefore NEEDS an oblivious society as backdrop for its metaphors to work. A war movie in which the Terminators are no longer secret is... not as effective.

But anyway, put yourself in the writers' shoes and imagine you want to make another Terminator movie after T2. You want Sarah Connor to be in it. What do you do to make it new and different, while still working within the established formula? More to the point--remembering the unofficial motto of this franchise, after all--what do you do to make Sarah Connor suffer?

And the answer is exactly what the filmmakers did: they took away her son. They took away the REASON she was originally targeted for termination, the REASON her life was turned upside down, the REASON everybody she ever loved was murdered by killer robots from the future. They took away everything she'd worked for, and turned it to dust in an instant. And, you know, they killed YET ANOTHER PERSON she loved. Her last connection to Kyle, even.

(ngl, if I'd been writing this movie, I would have done the exact same thing FOR EXACTLY THOSE REASONS)

Also, can I just take a moment to point out how RARE it is that a male character dies to further a female character's story arc? This happens ALL THE GODDAMN TIME with male heroes and their wives/girlfriends/family members no one bats an eye, but kill off John Connor and suddenly everybody is pissed. I can't help but notice the double standard here.

Look, I know what it's like when someone kills off your favorite character. Really, I do. It sucks. It sucks a lot. (See: Avengers: Endgame and the Star Wars sequel trilogy.) But at the same time, I can't help but notice that a great deal of the people upset about John Connor's death are cishet white males--in many cases, the same people who in other contexts are fine with somebody (usually a woman) dying to "raise the stakes" and make the story "personal" and "dramatic" or even "realistic".

There are a lot of people who gushed  about The Last Jedi, calling it "subversive" and "brilliant" specifically for upending everything we knew about Luke and "making our old heroes fallible" (and therefore human). In the case of The Last Jedi, I can't help but notice that Luke's character--and Han and Leia's and everybody else in the movie--is shafted in favor of Kylo Ren, who is depicted as an attractive cishet white dude. I suspect this is not a coincidence.

I'm curious how much overlap there is between those who HATED Terminator: Dark Fate for killing off John, and those who LOVED TLJ, which has a similarly bleak premise and “subversion” of previous story beats. I wonder if the difference between the two films is that it doesn't matter to a lot of  cishet white dudes how screwed up everything else gets as long as the character they personally identify with the most/view as "the hero"--Kylo Ren--triumphs.

As far as I can tell, the attitude for some fans is that it’s fine if Sarah Connor suffers, but John is sacred and inviolate. He cannot be touched. He is essential, the lynchpin of the franchise, the one character who makes a Terminator movie work, the one around whom everything revolves. Without him, everything is pointless.

And I wonder if this is the same group who personally identifies with John--one, because they grew up with him, but two, because they look like him. I suspect a lot of people latched on to the idea of John Connor as the savior, because it meant--on some level--that THEY could also be the savior. And they are mad at having that character--and that promise--snatched away from them, and re-invest that energy in anyone else, let alone someone who looks different from them.

(AKA "It's all 'subverting expectations' and 'brilliance' until it's your self-insert/favorite character getting shafted," and then it gets ugly.)

Also, I note that John's death isn't heroic AT ALL. He dies in the exact same way the Terminator in T1 kills the other Sarah Connors. It's quick, efficient, and over in seconds. I suspect this hurts people more than if he'd died some other way. In a way, this scene is probably one of the most "realistic" in the entire movie. But I'm not sure people want "realism" in their movies, no matter how much they say they do.

(and does it say something about audience priorities that this kid getting shot at point-blank range is more upsetting and controversial than ALL OF THE OTHER DEATHS in this movie combined? Like, yes, I know  context matters, everybody else who dies in this movie is an adult (I think?), and we have a lot emotionally invested in John from previous movies, but... I mean, yes, I know, the background characters weren't framed as the saviors of humanity, but does that mean they don't also deserve empathy and respect and grief from us? And I can’t help but note that real-life children getting shot in a similar fashion doesn’t seem to engender the same amount of strong feelings on a massive scale, at least in the US.)  

Anyway, Sarah fails. Terribly. Irrevocably. In the only way that matters. She fails, and her son dies, and she falls right back down in the abyss she thought she'd managed to crawl out of. And I think that is also hard for a lot of people to watch, because we're so used to seeing her WIN through sheer grit, determination, and stubborness. We assumed she always would. But she can’t, not if there’s going to be another movie... 

(another other implication of Sarah's short-lived combat with the T-800 is that it doesn't matter how much of a badass she is, NO 100% HUMAN BEING can go head-to-head with a Terminator directly and WIN. If Sarah Connor can't do it, NOBODY ELSE COULD HAVE DONE IT BETTER THAN SHE DID.)

(and also there's the realization that if Sarah hadn't destroyed the reprogrammed Terminator at the end of T2--the only being who COULD have saved John in that moment--her son might still be alive. That's gotta hurt.)

Anyway, we're two minutes in and I find this plot twist more compelling than 90% of the entire Star Wars sequel trilogy, and 100% more consistent in terms of previously established character arcs. Obvs. ymmv, but I think it goes back to the franchise's horror roots, where everybody except Sarah dies, and it also shows very clearly that we are entering a Very Dark Timeline as we shift to the title card.

I'm honestly impressed the writers had the chutzpah to go through with this and REALLY kill John for good. Though I also see why they didn't advertise it in the trailers....

Before I move on, I want to repeat what Sarah said at the end of this scene, because it’s so gut-wrenching for me: “A machine took him from me, and I was terminated."

I emphasize that last clause because this is how Sarah sees it. It’s not just John who died that day--she believes that SHE did, too. Ever since she was 19 years old, Sarah Connor’s life has been defined as “John Connor’s mother” and she’s built up her whole identity around keeping him alive no matter what. Now John is dead, and she... cannot be that person any more. So who, then, is she?

For better or worse, Sarah Connor is now a free agent. She is liberated both from her role in the future as the mythic mother figure, and any lingering obligations she has to patriarchy. From now on, there is no fate (for her, if not humanity) but what she makes for herself. It’s an awful, ironic twist, and I think it was a valid choice for the franchise to make. As long as John Connor is alive, everybody else will always be in his shadow--up to, and including, Sarah. 

Without him, we’re in new territory. Which will look a lot like the old territory because humans are sadly predictable, but different all the same.

#terminator #terminator: dark fate #meta

[all-things-andrew-scott]

Notes on The Delinquent Season

Taken as I’m watching it. Mild spoilers ahead.

This film has barely started and I’m already preemptively angry because I know what it’s about. Lol

Andrew doesn’t look like a “Chris” but he’s still so cute when he says “fuck”. It always will be. No idea why. Probably because he just seems so soft.

Cilian’s character is a bit of an ass.

Major unhealthy relationship vibes all over

Chris makes a good point. You can be friends with your friend without your spouse being friends with their spouse

First time I’ve ever been on the customer’s side instead of the server. She’s a bit much

This whole conversation is awkward af and feels like searching for an excuse to make cheating okay

Oh Jesus. This better not be true. Fuck me.

Shit. It is true. Dammit.

He’s so fucking pretty it breaks my heart. Help.

I hate seeing him cry. :(

Okay but like. What is it? Cancer? AIDS? HIV? HPV? Something else? What???

I swear to god. No.

Also what’s up with her delivery of all her lines? They’re not great. No offense to tha actress but I don’t buy her act. And I’m not enjoying her. The character is also a massive twat so

This is cringey. “Feel my breast. Feel my nipple. I’m wet.” c r i n g e

There’s so much sighing and whispering and heavy breathing in this movie and it’s weird

“But you’re not undervalued by me.” That’s some straight up bullshit, Yvonne

Andrew is such a good actor. Holy shit. I’m always impressed. Always blown away. Realistic sobs. That’s not easy.

It’d serve them right to get caught honestly. I’ve never had more disdain for two fictional characters in my life

I’m really not enjoying this as much as I hoped because it is making me VISCERALLY uncomfortable. Polyamory is great. Cheating is garbage.

He always plays such a good dad. Wowie. What a sweetie.

This is so awkward

How did Jim explain the black eye???

....oh fuck

This shit just makes Yvonne an even bigger cunt. I know she doesn’t know but FUCK

Okay but like how do you fall in love with Cilian Murphy’s pasty ass when you’ve got Andrew Scott at home????? ((Obviously I’m joking. Pls don’t send the mob after me))

Yvonne you’re such a piece of shit. I mean Jim isn’t much better but you started all this. Christ.

WOW! Massive shitcunts. The both of you. Wow.

When you’re so preoccupied with your affair and bullshit you forget your children

Man I was so excited to watch this movie and it’s so BAD.

Scumbag. SCUMBAG! Jim you’re such a scumbag

ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?! CHRIS IS SICK AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT, JIM, IS WHETHER YOU CAN KEEP BANGING YVONNE?!?! Jesus Christ what a piece of fucking work. And “after?” Wow. You’re so fucking low dude.

Caught in your lies. Jim this is gonna bite you in the ass and you’ll have deserved it

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Caught bitch. You deserve it. Fuck you.

“You pathetic fuck”. A-Yup.

I hope she figures out it’s Yvonne. They both deserve the worst.

Gotta love the projecting. What a bitch.

Don’t you let him die believing he’s the worst man ever. I’ll haunt you.

You better fucking come clean you cunt.

I could watch Andrew monologue for 3 hours straight tbh

Get lost you fucking shitbag, Jim

Her husband is dying and all you can think of is yourself, Jim. You really are insensitive and selfish. Fucking prick.

Ah yes. Blame Yvonne you piece of shit. Wow. God. I can’t

Is he gonna fuck the server too now??? Christ

Someone stop this cishet white man pls because oh my god

I had a whole paragraph when I realized it was a dream so I deleted it. lol

...fuck. Couldn’t it have been implied after the fact? I’m tired of Andrew suffering the same fate over and over again

Oh of fucking course he fucked the server. Jesus.

She really gonna cry over a one night stand?

Wow. Jim has really reached peak stereotypical cishet white man. Christ.

Can’t believe Yvonne really wanted to try it on him. Disgusting. Can’t believe you cheated on your husband as he was fucking dying. You absolute Trollop.

Of course he’s with Orla. Another unheathy relationship by the look of it. God almighty

This movie was not good and the only redeeming quality was Andrew’s performance and the woman who played Danielle. She performed well too. The plot is shit. The characters are appallingly bad people. 50% of the acting between the main cast isn’t good. The dialogue is subpar. I’m just really really disappointed. Glad it didn’t cost much.

#andrew scott #the delinquent season

[tepkunset]

Excitement and Lack Thereof for the Upcoming X Titles LOL

Do the solicitations for these new titles say a lot? No. Am I judging anyway? Yes, because that’s what they’re there for.

X-Force

X-Force is the CIA of the mutant world—one half intelligence branch, one half special ops. Beast, Jean Grey and Sage on one side, Wolverine, Kid Omega and Domino on the other. In a perfect world, there would be no need for an X-Force. We’re not there…yet.

TL;DR: Even if what sounds like rebooting X-Force Vol 3 of all versions wasn’t enough to kill all of my interest to begin with, if you can’t be bothered to include even one character of colour in your X-Men, I don’t give a shit.

“X-Force is the CIA of the mutant world—one half intelligence branch, one half special ops.” You lost me already. 

The original X-Force was all about a new #edgy insurgent approach to mutant conflict. A bunch of angsty young mutants and their grumpy ma and pa who figured they might as well try pushing back, and literally had a whole (iconic) issue dedicated to a big fuck you to Xavier for trying to suggest otherwise. But this sounds more like some twist on X-Force Vol 3, because yeah, it went so well for that volume. (Sarcasm.) Regardless of plenty of issues I have with Liefeld, it’s still worth taking value in the fact that his goal in his part of creating X-Force was to make an activist group. Yes the best thing that happened to X-Force was him fucking off LOL, but that take still stood, and it was a good one. So why do writers want to keep turning it into the complete opposite?

The original X-Force also featured fairly diverse groups for the time. 6/12 of all the characters who were ever on the team were nonwhite. (And two of them were high high high key queercoded, cause that’s the length they were ever able to be, and of course later outright confirmed.) Subsequent X-Force runs have failed to live up to this level, but this? Not having a single character of colour on your team in the year 2019 is pathetic. Beast, Jean, Sage, Wolverine, Quire, Domino, Colossus and Black Tom... congrats on forming a team completely of cishet white characters. Really breaking new grounds you are, with that. Definitely worth of calling your book X-Force. (Sarcasm.)

I know plenty of people think Quentin Quire might not be straight, but I don’t give a flying fuck personally, because I regard him as annoying fuckboy who too often has been used as a message of the “dangerous left” or whatever. If anything, him being on the team is another turnoff.

I haven’t been able to stand Colossus or Beast for a long time, either.

All in all, I have no interest whatsoever in this series, having basically everything going against it in terms of what I want from an X-Force comic. Which is sad, because the original X-Force is one of my all-time favourites.

Fallen Angels

Psylocke finds herself in this new world of Mutantkind unsure of her place in it… but when a face from her past returns only to be killed, she seeks help from others who feel similar to get vengeance. Cable and X-23 join Kwannon for a personal mission that could jeopardize all Mutantkind!

TL;DR: The little snippet for this one is one of the most vague, and yet at the same time is enough to generate a lot of questions and theories, and that has peaked my curiosity quite a lot.

Is this a trend of the titles having nothing to do with their namesakes...?

I’m so excited over Kwannon being the new Psylocke! Like, legitimately and not just Betsy in her body! It has me very interested in where it could go, especially after the most recent Uncanny X-Men had her say all of like, three things and do nothing but act as Wolverine’s personal servant before disappearing without any further mention or thought.

There is just so much that could be done with Kwannon to set things right by the character, but at the same time I’m scared to hope this is going to be that. Because it could also go so wrong...

...What also concerns me is how this story is gonna be handling whatever is going on in the background of #2′s cover, with all those children locked in cages. Honestly, I personally like it when X-Men gets political, so long as it’s handled, well, tastefully and respectfully and is done well.

I’m excited to see what comes out of Kwannon and Laura being on a team together, because I feel like they could have a really interesting dynamic.

I do have a very important negative question: WHY THE FUCK are Kwannon and Laura dressed like that. There is zero reason for Kwannon to dig out that old bathing suit that Betsy wore as her and not the cool looking assassin outfit she had in the recent Uncanny X-Men--basically the only good thing about her use in that comic. I also don’t understand why you wouldn’t jump at the perfect opportunity to get rid of Laura’s shitty, ridiculous getup from her reduction to “X-23.”

In fact, why is she still going by “X-23″ again? I don’t see Logan being called “Weapon X.” It was a dumb move to begin with after her character so forcefully rejected that label, and it’s dumb to continue to use it. There’s no reason she couldn’t go back to being Wolverine as well (I will yet again motion to Hawkeye and Hawkeye as an example,) or fuck, just go by Laura Kinney (à la Jean Grey).

Finally, I’m curious if this series will make me like the new Cable, because X-Force Vol 5 certainly did not.

I will be checking this one out, albeit hesitantly. 

Excalibur

Mutantkind has always been special…as has their relationship with the world—or WORLDS—around them. As this new era dawns, a new connection forms between mutants and the magic of the world… and that of Otherworld! Can the new Captain Britain forge a new way through the chaos with her companions Rogue, Gambit, Jubilee, Rictor…and Apocalypse?!?

TL;DR: Honestly, you had me at this lineup. (We’re just gonna pretend Apocalypse isn’t there.)

The idea of Betsy being Captain Britain seems like a perfect and much needed new direction for her character. (Especially if it means Kwannon is taking over as Psyloche as well!) I’m really interested in where this is going for her.

As much as I adore Gambit and Rogue together and really like them as a couple, I am SO happy to see Gambit and Jubilee on a team together. Remy is best when he’s in big bro mode TBH, and I hope we get to see more of that.

Also just like, Jubilee period is gonna be a great balance in terms of personalities from the rest of the lineup! And I love her iconic hair again!

But you know what? You know what? Doesn’t even matter who the rest of the characters are because I’d still be reading this just for Rictor, TBH. Throw an OG New Mutant or OG X-Force character in there and I am obligated to read it. 

Anyway, it’s Excalibur, and the description is already talking about magic, so I expect nothing less then some wicked weird shit.

Out of all of them, this is the second-most one I am looking forward to. (I think we all know which is #1 but it’s called saving the best for last for a reason?)

Marauders

Even in this glorious new dawn, Mutantkind faces hardships and oppression from their human counterparts. Led by Captain Kate Pryde and funded by Emma Frost and the Hellfire Trading Company, Marauders Storm, Pyro, Bishop and Iceman sail the seas of the world to protect those hated and feared!

TL;DR: Not... what I was expecting...?

I mean, lets get the obvious out of the way first, of course: X-Men pirates? Huh. Alright.

Quick question, then: Where is Nightcrawler?

You have an X-Men Pirate Series and Nightcrawler isn’t in it???

Like please tell me I’m not the only one confused about that, though.

Anyway... the premise sounds interesting, and if nothing else, different. And besides from strangely missing Nightcrawler in what would be his peak element, the team looks pretty great. 

Though I am curious if that’s the original Pyro or Simon from Gold? Because if this is a new timeline, does that mean he never died? There are certainly many other characters who have been ‘reset’ to life. Either way we got two MLM so that’s cool. (Well, OG Allerdyce Pyro was only ever intended to be gay according to Byrne, but died before that was ever confirmed, so... IDK. Maybe if he is back alive we’ll get to see that intention actually be put on page? Or if it is Simon, he was already shown to be gay or bi.)

Emma’s suit jacket. That is all.

To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll read this one or not. I don’t have anything at all that’s driving me away, but at the same time, despite liking the potential of this team, I’m, well, hesitant. I think I’ll end up waiting until I hear reception of the first one or two from others before deciding.

X-Men

The X-Men find themselves in a whole new world of possibility… and things have never been better! Jonathan Hickman (HOUSE OF X, POWERS OF X, SECRET WARS) and superstar artist Leinil Yu (NEW AVENGERS, CAPTAIN AMERICA) reveal the saga of Cyclops and his hand-picked squad of mutant powerhouses!

TL;DR: I don’t know those names enough for them to carry as much weight as I think they are intended to LOL, so if that’s all you have to offer as a solicitation it ain’t doing shit for me.

I am highly amused by Cyclops naturally including Wolverine in this Summers family reunion. But that said, as cute as that gimmick is, what was it I said above about X-Force? Oh, right. If you can’t be bothered to include even one character of colour in your X-Men, I don’t give a shit.

Like it’s 2019 and the X-Men have always stood as metaphors for minorities. That metaphor falls flat when you don’t include any minorities in said stories. Are you seriously telling me fucking Vulcan and Corsair’s asses are more important than the long list of nonwhite mutants that deserve some spotlight? Who gives a fuck about them???

Honestly I don’t even have anything more to say. There’s nothing here to say anything about.

Not interested in this one.

And finally...

New Mutants

The classic New Mutants (Sunspot, Wolfsbane, Mirage, Karma, Magik, and Cypher) get together with a few new friends (Chamber, Mondo) to seek out their missing member and share the good news… a mission that takes them into space alongside the Starjammers!

TL;DR:

AKSLDJAGDSLAFJDSAGEAGS

WE ARE GETTING A NEW ONGOING NEW MUTANTS SERIES WITH DANI AND XI’AN AND DANI BOBBY AND DANI AND ILLYANA AND DANI AND DOUG AND DANI AND RAHNE AND DANI AND PROBABLY SAM LIKE SAM IS DEFINITELY THE “MISSING MEMBER” RIGHT

AND DANI

ASHEALFEJSAIFKLESAHGESJKAFJDSKAFJEIAGHESAGSFKJS

I SWEAR THE FUCKING GOD HICKMAN AND BRISSON YOU BETTER NOT FUCK WITH THIS

NOT EVEN MY DISTASTE FOR THE STARJAMMERS CAN DAMPEN MY SPIRITS OVER THIS

So anyway Amara is not there but that’s fine. She’s the one and only OG New Mutant I don’t care about LOL. Also Warlock is technically (get it) there in spirit I guess, considering Doug’s arm situation? What’s going on with that anyway? 😲

*Googles who the fuck “Mondo” is* Oh... okay then. I guess he can be there too. And honestly I’ve never had anything against Chamber, though I’ve also never been enthused about him either until the recent Uncanny X-Men made me start to like him a little... you know, before he was unceremoniously killed off for #ShockValue. So I’m open to his presence.

I am SO confused by timelines now though you have no idea... So, Karma has a prosthetic leg, so that means Second Coming still happened? Or did she loose her original leg in another way? Like to be clear I’m not complaining, I actually think it’d be pretty sketchy if they erased her disability, I’m just curious how it happened in this new canon.

I LOVE their outfits. I LOVE how they’re all reflective of the classic ones but with their own unique modifications to them.

I love them so much it makes me all the more sad and annoyed that Illyana is for some reason in her Uncanny X-Men Vol 3 outfit. As much as I love those hair things, the rest of it is just... ugh, ridiculous and frankly non-fitting of her, IMO.

Anyway

AAAAAHHHHH

I can’t wait for this!!!!!

#x men #dawn of x #marvel comics #meta