#and at this point i feel like the character of cat herself is getting a little

[theangelshifter]

EAH DR INTRO !!

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Basic ᓚᘏᗢ

Name : Chester (Chess) Cheshire

Age : 17

Prounouns : He/Him

Fairytale parent : Cheshire Cat

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Replationships ᓚᘏᗢ

(Not all, but the main ones)

> Kitty Cheshire : My sister!! She’s younger by a year and we get along super well.

> Gale Pan : (OC — son of peter pan) My s/o. How we got together (super funny story): Basically, I have a rep of being annoying and mischievous like my sister. Kitty and Gale were friends due to them sitting next to each other in a class the prior year. So, at the beginning of the year, Kitty made a bet with Gale. The bet was that he couldn’t room with me all year without going to change roommates or room with someone else. If he left before the year was over, Kitty would get $100 from Gale. If he stayed the whole year, Gale would get $100 from Kitty. I didn’t have a roommate planned anyways and Kitty agreed to give me half the money if I helped annoy him to the point he moved out, so I was totally into this idea. Him and I did not get along at all, but we never left because of the bet. However, over time, he and I got closer. We ended up becoming more like a couple, just without a label because we didn’t want to admit our feelings for each other. One day I just randomly spit it out, and that’s how it happened. (Kitty lost the bet…her exact words are, “I told you to annoy him, not romance him!!”)

> Lizzy Hearts : MY BEST FRIEND I LOVE HER!! I help her sometimes with her designs :)

> Maddie Hatter : A close friend. We hang out a lot and joke all the time.

> Briar Beauty : I LOVE HER. She’s one of my close friends and is always up for doing any of my crazy ideas

> C.A. Cupid : Close friend. She and I talk about love and romance a lot, and she and I vent to each other about relationship problems

> Raven Queen : Friends. We get along well and she likes talking to me. We share similar interests and views on destinies. We like to shit talk the headmaster a lot (I HATE HIM AAAA)

> Cerise Hood : Friends. I know her secret and so she’s able to be more of herself around me

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Extra/World info ᓚᘏᗢ

> Kitty is the younger one so I’m destined to sign the book. However, I don’t want to sign and Kitty does. So we’re both not liking the idea of having to sign the book. Luckily, we found out Briar didn’t want to sign. So when Briar (like how she does in the show) goes and finds the real copy, we help her get rid of it.

> Neverland & Neverland characters exist

> I changed some of the timeline so that different things that happen all happen within one school year instead of two

#the angel shifter #shifting community #reality shifting #reality shifter #permashifting #shiftblr #shifters #reality shift #shifting realities #shifting #eah dr #eah shifting #ever after high dr

[dolokhoded]

mel c magdalene made me realize what was missing from my magdalene design and it's that she's not fucking jacked. it's crucial to her character

#🧅 #literally my takeaway from jcs2012 was mary magdalene's arms. yeah those guys were there too i guess #i think hers might be my favorite portrayal of mary #like. not just because she's jacked i just really liked how jc2012 worked with magdalene #she felt more fleshed out. and i <3 yvonne elliman in this role i always will but lets be so for real in the 1973 movie mary was a sexy lam #character except instead of sexy she was like. sopping wet cat lamp character #i mean i think she was also sexy. but that's beside the point this post is not about how attractive i find yvonne elliman #or mel c #well it kind of is about how attractive i find mel c #whatever. my point is it was the 70s and she was a female character. so like. you get it ! #and i feel like a lot of the time magdalene is very girlbossified in a way that makes her very one dimensional #without EVER her appearing masculine of course because god forbid the one female character does not appear to the male gaze #(well originally female character anyways. today genderbend casting is a thing and it fucks) #it's either she's a Girl Disciple (no further elaboration) or she's like. a girlboss stone hearted biker gang leader leather jacket queen #(no actual further elaboration but her one 'ooh i love this man and i dont know how to show it' solo tricks you into thinking there is) #while 2012 magdalene somehow seems much more well rounded to me. #they let her be herself more. idk. that's how i interpreted it at least. in my mind. #it's like. i feel many other marys i've seen are described by how they treat jesus (and sometimes judas) #but this one still feels present even when jesus is not around. or he is but she's not interacting with him. #again this is a very specific interpretation that clicked in my brain im not saying that jcs2012 like. did some groundbreaking feminist #portrayal of magdalene. but yknow ! #she also didn't acknowledge judas' existence once while he had created some weird one sided beef with her which was. very funny to me #literally did not waste a glance at him.

[hazbn-oneshots]

Bathtime Headcanons

Just a few headcanons for sharing a bubble bath with the main characters. Enjoy!

Charlie:

oddly enough Charlie doesn’t partake in full baths as much as she favors showers.

She’s busy dealing with the hotel and along with ruling as the Princess of Hell so she much prefers a quick warm spray.

On the occasion, however, she finds herself tired enough that you might just be able to convince her to indulge with you. 

You make a point of dredging up any kind of bubble bath, bath bomb, lotion, anything you can find to ensure that you can provide the best bubble bath possible.

Music plays softly over a small speaker, but it’s drowned out the hushed whispers of words of love as you meticulously wash and condition her hair.

Conditioning is your favorite step. Charlie didn’t need it often as her hair somehow stayed so silky, so every now and then when you got to run a soft brush through her hair, twisting it gently to pin atop her head.

She tries to wash you in return but you always push her hand away, insisting on pampering her after a hard day.

Usually ends with you drying her off and carrying her to bed when she inevitably passes out.

Vaggie:

Vaggie loves baths but she’s hard pressed to admit it. Nothing feels better on sore muscles than a nice soak, ideally with lavender. She loves lavender.

The two of you had been dating for about 6 months before she even entertained the idea of going to you with such a request. 

She was too embarrassed to ask.

-in the end, how she broaches the subject is by surprising you one night when you return home. A few candles lined the edge of the bathtub that was filled nearly to the brim with bubbles.

”I just thought it would be nice, you’ve been gone all day” And you know better to react calmly should you risk spooking the flustered angel with the scarlet red face.

She’s the one that drags it out in the end. She’d wrap her arms just a little tighter around your waist and mutter about how the water would stay warm for just a little longer.

Vaggie gives sweet towel hugs.

Alastor:

Listen, Alastor takes pride in his hygiene. He takes the utmost care to keep himself and his dress in immaculate condition. 

He’ll invest in facial creams, hair creams, body creams, oils, lotions, you name it and he’s used it. 

But baths? No. Absolutely not.

You’ve only attempted to convince Alastor to take a bath with you and neither occasion ended particularly well. The radio demon wouldn’t speak to you for a week after the first failed attempt and had all but removed himself from your life with the second so you couldn’t say you were in any hurry for a third.

However, the two of you have come to a happy compromise. Whenever you found yourself in the mood to draw a bath you would sometimes find Alastor pulling a chair up next to the tub with a book tucked under his arm. So would begin a lovely tradition between the both of you.

More than once you’ve found yourself dozing to the soft static of the Alastor’s voice, and in response the demon would lightly tap his cane against the edge of the tub to rouse you.

Don’t fall asleep though, three strikes and he’ll leave you in the tub. No he doesn’t.

Husk:

Not. A. Fan. Considering his entire being consists of fur and feathers, Husk can and will do everything within his power to avoid bathing if he can. Look, it’s just not his idea of a fun night to sit down with a hairdryer and attempt to wring himself out as best he can.

Inevitably he’d miss a spot and end up with stale wet cat smell and no one likes that, especially not our resident grump.

He won’t make a fuss if you want to bathe with him though. What he will do is laugh while patting your shoulder. “I’ll wait for ya in the room”

The more comfortable he gets, however, you’ll start to see that eventually Husk begins to find reasons just to ‘wander’ into the bathroom with you. He misses you, you know it, but it’s still sweet to see him making the excuse of looking for his lucky pair of boxers.

”The water’s always warm darlin”

You better get the blow dryer ready, the only way you can convince him is if you’ll deal with it. You don’t mind though, the purrs are worth it

Angel Dust:

You and Angel take turns picking which bath bombs and bubble baths that you’ll throw into whichever potion you’ll be brewing up tonight.

Bathtime with Angel was always a favorite for you, you couldn’t think of anything better than getting to curl up with your cuddle bug in your arms. Although things never really stay that way for long.

It’s hard not to tease while washing each other. A slip of the hand here, just a little rough touch of loofah there, just a sweet little taste of what could be but the restraint comes easy in the relaxed atmosphere. Just in times like these Angel will be patient enough to wait until you can actually make it to the bed. 

Angel won’t let you wash his hair. You don’t know why he’s so particular about it but if you interrupt his routine of products then his entire night is ruined so you choose the peaceful route and leave the man be. That doesn’t mean he won’t wash your hair for you if you ask though, those four hands of his do wonders at massaging the scalp.

Angel will 10/10 let you towel dry him every single time and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t use it as an opportunity to make a show at bending this way and that, making sure to get every inch of him.

He looks like a fluffy mess afterwards but hey, he’s your fluffy mess.

Requests open!!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #alastor x reader #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel headcanon #husk headcanons #husk x reader #angel dust headcanons #angel dust x reader #vaggie x reader

[sinsmockingbird]

KITTEN IN HEAT | Lynette

PAIRING: Lynette x GN!Reader

WARNINGS: Smut, NSFW, Dom!Reader, Sub!Character, Reader has a cock, Heat, Breeding, Scratching

AUTHORS NOTE: The sweetest baby that I love with all my heart. Lynette deserves nothing but the best, I stand by that.

LYNETTE TOLD you everything. She always had since the first day you both became official. She'd tell you how her day went, how she was feeling, and she'd tell you about her wants. She told you everything, everything but this.

You noticed something was off with Lynette the moment you had woken up that morning. She had a sort of... distant look in her eyes, and it always seemed like she wasn't entirely present. She was more quiet- more so than she usually is, really only giving you yes or no answers or just a nod or shake of her head. But nothing rang more alarm bells in your head than just how clingy she was being with you.

Lynette wasn't always big with physical affection. She wasn't opposed to it by any means, and would accept any you give her if you initiate it. She never initiated any sort of hugging or even hand holding, she always waited for you to do it. Yet, here she was, practically glued to you as she curled herself up in your lap, hands clutching onto the front of your shirt.

"Lyn, is something wrong?" You asked for the 10th time that day since you first saw her. You glanced down at her, not being able to meet her eyes considering she had buried her face into your chest.

Lynette didn't respond, and she made no indication that she had even heard you. You frowned, moving to pull her off your lap to get up from the couch, and immediately she made a sound of protest. You flinched when you felt her nails dig so deep into your shirt they were pressing into your skin, and for a moment you thought she'd break through it.

"Lynette," You said her name with a bit more force that made her momentarily pause, giving you enough time to pull her off you and settle her onto the couch besides you. "What the hell is going on with you?"

You held her arms firmly against her sides, looming over her and making sure she wouldn't be able to wiggle out of your hold. You finally got a good look at her face after hours of her having into buried against you. Her face was flushed red and covered in a light layer of sweat, her pupils dilated, and you could hear her heavy breathing.

Your eyes widened, finally realizing that something was indeed wrong, "Lynette what's wrong, please talk to me."

"I-" Lynette opened her mouth momentarily before quickly closing it, her gaze averting away from your face as she tried to wiggle around in your hold once again, but you kept it firm.

"Lynette," You said her name once again, your voice slightly raised and serious as you looked at her with pleading eyes. You were utterly worried about her at this point.

She froze again, and you could tell she was having a debate with herself in her head, and you waited for her to respond, and when she did, you didn't know how to react. "I'm in heat."

You simply just... froze at her words, your confusion clear as you tried to understand what exactly she meant by being "in heat." Lynette ended up using the opportunity to finally wiggle out from your grip, and you didn't have much time process before she was pushing you flat onto your back onto the couch. She moved to curl herself back up into a ball, lying on your stomach and chest, her hands gripping at your shirt.

"W-What are you-" You pursed your lips, just deciding to not fight back and allow Lynette to lay on you. She was clearly intent on doing so, and you had a feeling it was because of this heat thing. "What do you mean, "'I'm in heat?'"

Lynette pursed her lips, thinking over her words for a reply very carefully. She had never talked to you about this before, and she honestly wasn't sure on how to, especially not when she was currently in the middle of one.

"It means it's breeding season for cats, and considering I'm, well," Lynette's tail thumped softly against your tail, letting you know what she meant.

"I- I see," You muttered, allowing her words to sink in and allow yourself to understand on what she meant.

Considering Lynette had quite a bit of cat qualities to her, it would make sense to you that she would experience some sort of reaction to the breeding season. It would explain how she was acting very unusual with you, and would explain some other things. But as you thought over it more, one realization came to you, and you felt your face flush when you hesitantly spoke up.

"Does this mean your, uhm, sexually aroused right now..?" You tentatively asked, and you felt her body slightly arch up against you.

Lynette was quiet, and for a moment you thought you had somehow pushed her too far with the question, but then you heard her mumble a simple, "Yes."

You noddes your head at her answer, your face flushing even more at the new knowledge you had, before asking her one last question, "Can I help you with that?"

Lynette's ears perked up, and she subtly shifted her head slightly on your chest, her eyes widening slightly. "Y-You want to?"

"If it means I can make you feel more comfortable, then yes." You answered without hesitation, your voice gentle as you moved a hand up to scratch behind one of her ears, causing her to let out a small sound of approval.

"...Okay," Lynette nodded her head, agreeing to allow you to help her.

She was hesitant to move off of you for a moment, but eventually did. Once you were up and off the couch, you grabbed her hand and began tugging her towards your bedroom. You could tell she was eager by the way she stuck close to you and by the swishing of her tail.

Once entering your bedroom, you close the door and move to kiss her softly, and slowly. When you felt her wanting to deepen the kiss, you do, and from there it only escalates more and more until the kiss is sloppy and desperate.

"P-Please..!" Lynette whined against your lips, jumping up and wrapping her arms and legs around you, and you barely caught her as you carry her over to the bed.

"Okay-" You breath, dropping her down on your bed, and pinning her beneath your body, kissing her deeply and desperately, your hands moving to begin undoing her clothing. "Okay, shh, m'gonna help."

You don't really bother with undoing her top, mostly focusing your attention on undoing her bottoms. Once they were pulled down her legs, you hastily began undoing your pants, hissing as you felt Lynette's nails dragging down your arms in desperation.

She let out needy whimpers and whines, mouth agape as you finally free your cock from your pants. She pants, her cunt aching between her legs even more, the intensity of her heat becoming all too much. It's almost excruciating, the pain and heat coursing through her body.

"P-Please-!" Lynette whimpers, bucking her hips up against you, her pupils blown as she looks at you with a begging face. "P-Put it in!"

You dip a hand down between her legs first, checking to see if she was wet enough, and to your surprise, she was soaked. You hear her choke on a moan at the feeling of your fingers dragging through her folds, gathering up her slick before moving to lathering up your cock in it, while moving to position it at her entrance.

The second you press your tip into her, her back is arching off the bed with a loud cry, her body so sensitive from hours of suffering through the intense heat coursing through her body. You move to hold her close, pressing gentle kisses against her face, while pushing deeper into her before giving her some thrusts.

"F-Fuck, so wet and tight," You groaned, feeling her slick coating your cock quickly the more you thrusted in, and you swore she felt more tighter around you than normal.

"M-More-!" Lynette begged, her hands clinging onto your shoulders, digging her nails through your shirt and into your skin.

The pain made you hiss, but you didn't stop, not when you could see the agony of pleasure coursing through Lynette's face. So you thrust faster, pushing yourself deeper and deeper inside her tight pussy, spreading her perfectly to fit your cock.

You groan, pressing your face into her neck at the feeling of her wrapped around you. It felt so good, the way she was so tight, and all for you. The feeling made you not want to leave her, to keep her stuffed full of your cock just so you could feel her tightness for longer.

"O-Oh, Archons!" Lynette whined, pressing her body up against you, eyes rolling back in her head as she reaches her first orgasm quickly.

It's not surprising to you, considering she must have been holding all of this in all day, and finally being able to have this pleasure... makes sense why she was cumming all over your cock. It was long and intense, leaving Lynette shaking and unable to breath till it finally died down, and she could feel your gentle thrusts again.

"You okay?" You asked, your voice soft as you rocked your cock in and out of her gently, letting her feel every inch of it inside her, something that made her whimper through her gasps of breath.

"K-Keep going," Is the only thing Lynette responded with, moving to wrap her shaking arms around your neck and her legs around your waist.

Being all but trapped against Lynette, you obliged and began picking up your thrusts once again, and it didn't take you long to get back into the swift pace you had before. Small, but sharp thrusts deep into her, perfect to make her body erupt with pleasure as well as allow you to feel her tightness squeezing around you.

It felt amazing, and you didn't want to pull out, even when your orgasm was building more and more. You grunted, clenching your jaw as you felt that coil in your stomach, but you didn't want to stop, didn't want to pull out of her.

"Aghh, g-gonna-" You bury your face into her neck, grunting and unable to form the words you needed to say, but she knew, she understood.

"Inside!" Lynette quickly gasped, tightening her body around you and holding you closer, making sure you couldn't pull away. "P-Please, inside!"

Hearing her beg you to cum inside me fueled a fire inside you that you didn't know you had. With sudden brutal thrusts, your hips stuttered, until you pushing all of your length inside her and letting go, grunting into her neck.

A dopey smile spread across Lynette's face when she felt your cum filling her up. She layed there, shaking and moaning as she came with you, focusing on the feeling of your warm cum. You were left groaning and panting, wrapping your arms around her waist and tugging her closer to you, wanting to shove every drop of your cum into her.

Once you finished, you couldn't help but collapse on top of her, panting to catch your breath, eyes shutting as you focused on the feeling of being buried inside Lynette, a few words utteres from your mouth, "Gonna be the cutest mommy."

It had her freezing for a moment, her heart beating quickly in her chest, before you tail thumped against the bed, her joy from your words not being able to be held in. You smiled against her shoulder as you felt her nuzzling her face into your hair affectionately, a soft purr beginning to be heard.

Thoughts of having a family, kids of your own went through your head, a silent love passing between you both as you relished in one another's arms.

ENDING NOTES: May have rushed the end a bit, apologies, I just couldn't find a good fitting end to write.

#*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟsins writings #genshin impact #genshin smut #lynette #genshin!lynette #sub!lynette #lynette x reader #lynette x you

[httpsuniverse]

mr lover [ ben chilwell ]

— right where you left lover girl sequel, this takes place two years later!

[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °.   *

[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — romance, mentions pregnancy, google translated french . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °.   *

࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, yourusername, reecejames and others

benchilwell family time

view all 592 comments

user am i reading this right ?? ‘family’ time ??

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yourusername

liked by benchilwell, masonmount, cmpulisic and others

yourusername look at me, i am the favourite hooman now.

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user not y/n quoting from captain phillips 😭

benchilwell once i get back home, i will take my title back

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benchilwell

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benchilwell home is where the heart is.

view all 289 comments

yourusername but god i love the english

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yourusername 🫣🫣

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benchilwell 😂

yourprivate

liked by masonspriv, reecespriv, mikaspriv and 23 others

yourprivate hehe oops

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yourusername and benchilwell

liked by masonmount, chelseafc, england, madders and 8,826,937 others

yourusername we’re getting him a human in a few months 🙈

view all 399,826 comments

benchilwell babe i thought we already agreed what the caption will be

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masonmount who thought that covering his eyes would be cute

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masonmount i don’t maam, it’s a great idea, very very cute!

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user as a fellow dog mummy, i approve of this post!

weratedogs 100/10 for being such a good boy and will be the goodest big brother!

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user y/n went from writing how she’s stuck in the past, to loving herself and loving a new person 🥹 now she’s probably gonna write something about her baby ... just thinking about it rn makes me emotional

— ❤️ by yourusername

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benchilwell

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benchilwell eleanor chilwell is here 🩷👨🏻‍🍼 you did good mama, i’m proud and grateful to you, yourusername. i love you both

comments on this post have been limited.

yourusername thank you dada, we love you too 🩷

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, charles_leclerc and 3,826,929 others

yourusername the happiest i’ve ever been 🩷 merci pour tout mon benji. je t'aime toi et eleanor de tout mon coeur. (thank you for everything, my benji. i love you and eleanor with all my heart)

view all 150,729 comments

benchilwell 🩷🩷

user several chapters missed but i’m glad to see you so happy y/n 🥹

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────

yourusername and benchilwell

2,836,729 likes

yourusername darling, don’t you ever grow up... just stay this little. happy birthday my sweet eleanor🩷 mama (with the help of dada) wrote a song for you baby, me and dada loves you sooo much. never grow up out now ✨

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benchilwell growing up too fast, my ellie bear 🥲

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#ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell #ben chilwell scenario #ben chilwell x you #ben chilwell x y/n #football imagine #football x y/n #football x you #football x reader #ben chilwell instagram au #football instagram au

[bonefall]

BB!Nightcloud

Nightcloud Woobification Army ASSEMBLE.

There's actually very little canon information on Nightcloud outside of how her ex-mate deflects blame onto her, which she is notoriously demonized for. So for Better Bones, I've cooked up a backstory from scratch! I feel this character deserves to exist outside of her romantic relationship, y'know?

Make sure to check the BB!WindClan Family Tree if you recognize any of the repurposed Missing Kits!

Clanmew Name: Oogarhai (The period of time where the sun has set + fat cloud) Official nickname: Nico (NIghtClOud), Oogi (OOGarhaI)

Alignment: WindClan

Relationships: Ex-mate - Crowfeather Child - Breezepelt Family (all deceased) - Hillrunner (Mi), Downwind (aunt, bio-mother), Tawnyfur (sister), Crowfur (grandparent) Mentor - Addersong

Nightcloud is a controversial warrior of WindClan, and also among its largest, strongest cats. She continuously finds herself tangled up in nearly every massive conflict since the day they arrived at the lake, with only some of these events being things she ever had a choice to be involved in.

Though she yearns for a more peaceful life, her violent, stressful childhood following the WindClan Massacre carved deep distrust of outsiders into her bones. It lead her to the lowest point in her life, fighting for Mudclaw during the WindClan Civil War. The following years of distrust, Crowfeather's mistreatment, and the abuse towards her son, Breezepelt, made much of Nightcloud's life lonely and stressful.

In spite of that, she absolutely adores her son and stands by his side no matter what. After the secret that Crowfeather sired kits with a ThunderClan Cleric is revealed and he is banished for a few moons for dramatic, codebreaking behavior at the reveal, a "spell" that he cast over WindClan begins to lift. In his absence, Nightcloud is able to truly begin fixing her reputation.

Though Breezepelt still has a way to fall as a new POV in BB!AVoS, where his treatment as a Dark Forest trainee drives him to join Darktail's cult, Nightcloud's life begins to turn around after her mateship with Crowfeather crumbles. After participating in a secret plan to rescue her boy and several Kin members under the command of her future leader and son-in-law, Harespring, she is solidified as one of the most powerful fighters in the entire Clan and occupies a lofty position as one of its most reliable brawlers.

She's also developing a friendship with Willowclaw about it, which is neat.

Glossary

Upbringing

WindClan Civil War

Mateship & Abuse

Breezepelt and BB!AVoS

Trivia and Misc

Upbringing

The Mothermouth Moorland War came to a cruel and bloody quietus at the claws of Brokenstar's ShadowClan, ending a three-generation long conflict with an event called the WindClan Massacre. Along with the rest of their Clan, a pair of twins was forced into exile; Downwind and Hillrunner.

They looked out for each other, and ferociously protected the tattered Clan while living in the Tangle of Thunderpaths. It was hard, but they had each other and that was enough.

After Bluestar's champion, Fireheart, fetched WindClan to bring them home, Downwind soon gave birth to her first litter. A pair of sisters; one of them practically a little copy of her mother... and the other one who looked hilariously nothing like anyone in their family. The twin girls were named Nightkit, and Tawnykit.

They'd barely settled in before Nightstar and Crookedstar turned on them, attacking to try and drive them out AGAIN. If it wasn't for Bluestar and her reinforcements, ThunderClan's charity, they might have succeeded.

But this time, Downwind refused to run. Hillrunner saw her twin, limp, red, and ragged outside the nursery. The kits were too young to remember her, or to understand the significance of their new Mi's anguished cries that night. They came so far together, only for Hillrunner to lose her other half in the place where things were supposed to get better.

NOTE: On adopting the kits, Hillrunner is then considered their "Mi," a primary parent in Clan culture. Her biological relation as the aunt is superseded.

Nightkit and Tawnykit only knew Hillrunner as their Mi. They only know that Downwind was identical to her-- except for a scar across Hiller's nose.

Hillrunner was notoriously short tempered, paranoid, and easily offended. She shouldn't have been raising kits alone, but what choice did she have?

She was CONVINCED that she'd failed Downwind that day, and that something could have been done to avoid the WindClan Massacre. So she was dedicated to making sure her own kits were better prepared.

They knew the whole territory by heart by their 6th moon, and even major abandoned tunnels below the moor

Most apprentices don't learn how to differentiate individual warriors out of scent marks until a moon or two into training. Night and Tawny knew it before they became 'paws.

Ever trying to ask a question, or tell Hillrunner that they didn't want to do something, was "backtalk;" argue too much and she would hit them with a punishment.

Punishments, "lessons," were usually strenuous physical tasks, like doing laps, moving large objects, or being made to carry a stone in the mouth for hours.

The sort of thing, in hindsight, was probably meant to be a sort of "cover"... the Clan thought the 'Lessons' were harsh but 'understandable'. No one would step in.

If Hillrunner was angry though, she would also just straightup smack them. She was less creative when she was in a mood.

As an adult, Nightcloud will tell you how messed up it used to be... but sometimes she preferred when Hillrunner was moody. If she got hit, the creative "lesson" wouldn't be applied to Tawnykit too.

Because Nightkit got in trouble more often than Tawnykit, there was a sort of sour resentment between them, mixed in with the unbreakable sense of solidarity.

Tawnykit: "You got US in trouble. But no one else in the world knows what we're going through. I love you. I'm going to take this out on you when we're alone. I can't believe you did this to me, I can't believe our Mi did this to us. Can't you try harder?? We did nothing wrong. Why am I paying for YOUR mistakes?"

Hillrunner says she, "Just wants you to be safe. ShadowClan won't hit you with their claws sheathed! This is what real life is like! If you'd just LISTEN to me you'd know this is for your own good!"

The little family was "close," in the way that mice tied together at the tail are close, even as they desperately pull at the knot and gnaw at each other's flesh.

Hillrunner convinced them the world was terrifying, that they couldn't entirely rely on their clanmates, and the most important thing in life is Gan, blood-family.

"The ONLY ones who will turn out for you, who you can rely on, who will be there until the end, is your family. The only way you'll lose us is if you're not strong enough, and I'll make you strong. I promised. You'll see!"

When she finally became Nightpaw, Hillrunner continued to try and have control over her... but the new mentor, Addersong, would not be bullied. And he would not let his apprentice get pushed around either.

He taught Nightpaw that now that she was an apprentice, she was free to make her own choices.

If she needed him around when she confronted Hillrunner, he would be there.

And if she needed to be the one to do that alone, he would support that too.

But on one condition; he would never tolerate someone speaking down to his apprentice in front of him. THAT is a matter of his pride. Capiche?

That was a term she could handle.

She had always known that she didn't want to be like Hillrunner, and that one day she'd be free of all the torment she was put through, but Addersong was the one who showed her the way out. Protected her when others didn't.

It gave her a sense of newfound confidence, and freedom. Like maybe the world WASN'T so terrible after all. And maybe... there's people out here who are kinder and more loving than she was ever allowed to believe.

And then, Hillrunner died in a TigerClan attack

And she began to wonder if it was HER fault when Tawnyfur fell to BloodClan

And suddenly Addersong's lessons felt far away. And maybe that was a good thing.

Hillrunner tried to teach her that family, KIN, was the most important thing in the world, and Nightcloud began to reject that. And now they are all dead.

She didn't appreciate them enough while they were alive. And now they are gone.

So... she pushed Addersong away. He figured she needed space to mourn.

WindClan Civil War

While Addersong was composing Tiger's In A Heap with his buddies and others were baking Tiger-shaped tunnelbuddies to welcome relations with BloodClan, Nightcloud was joining the group that was critical of the decision.

Especially when Snapper and Leo-- sorry. They call themselves Snappaw and Brushpaw. When those two joined the Clan. Ex-BloodClan traders. Not to mention Pigeonflight's... charge, also acquired from BloodClan

Nightcloud felt like she was the only one who remembered that they fought BloodClan. That Clan cats died in that battle.

Until she found others, echoing the same feelings she did, and more.

Mudclaw was the most legitimate member of the group, organizing this group of cats with "concerns."

Those "concerns" started having weight when things began to sour in the Moor. The poisoning, the Mothermouth's collapse and the death of Barkface and his apprentice, Blackfur... eventually a warrior, Runningbrook, was SHOT by a human as if she was a grouse.

Someone called the two apprentices "jinxes," pointing out the bad luck they'd brought to them, and it stuck.

But Tallstar did nothing. Didn't listen to the concerns, and insisted that Snapper and L-- Snappaw and Brushpaw, that they were part of the Clan now.

Eventually they were all forced out of their home, and sent on a journey following Crowfoot and the other Chosen cats to a new land. Tallstar just continued to look weaker and weaker.

All around Nightcloud (and the cats who would eventually become the Rebels), the Journey was uniting the Clans in a way that was never seen before. Apprentices were trying out ancient recipes that had been untouched for generations. Warriors from WindClan were helping to carry kits from ShadowClan.

It was terrifying. It felt WRONG. It filled her with a sense of deep dread and unease. No one was enforcing the boundaries that made the four groups into Clans.

When they arrived at the lake, what would HAPPEN there? Would there even BE a WindClan? Or would they just get lured into forming the new TigerClan?

Through all of this... Mudclaw seemed strong, and sure of what needed to happen next. He was certainly more of a leader than the feeble Tallstar, who had allowed the jinxes to follow along on the Great Journey.

So when Tallstar was allegedly on his deathbed, and mysteriously swapped his deputy to Onewhisker, Nightcloud was one of the very first to call foul play.

It felt like an awful betrayal, to know that Firestar, one of the FEW cats outside of WindClan that Hillrunner spoke fondly of, could be trying to pull the wool over their eyes.

But just LOOK at the other witness-- Brambleclaw. Son of Tigerstar. This was a PLOT, and Onewhisker should be ashamed of himself!

Mudclaw jumped at the opportunity Nightcloud presented.

But... the newly honored Crowfeather came forth too, to calm the tension.

"Brambleclaw is a LOT of things and untrustworthy isn't one of them," Yet, he put up a smokey-black paw when his friend's eyes lit up, "But a change in deputy? To Onewhisker, of all cats?"

Onewhisker: "no offense, right? ...right?"

"So if no one here is lying, then Tallstar's brain fell out on the way here and I'm not going on ANOTHER journey to look for it. Mudclaw is the rightful leader of WindClan."

His endorsement of Mudclaw sent the Clan reeling. His own mother, Ashfoot, came forth to argue against her son, and his aunt Morningflower pointed out that Mudclaw was his mentor.

OF COURSE the two jinxes also argued in favor of Onewhisker. Leo had even joined in the first place because he wanted to be with him.

The compromise that the Clans reached, at ThunderClan's treacherous suggestion, was that they would wait until StarClan could sort the matter out and confirm the rightful leader.

But of COURSE ThunderClan felt like they could wait for StarClan. THEY had two Clerics, Leafstripe and Cinderpelt.

In the meanwhile, the Clan started to split in two. Those who were backing the feeble Onewhisker, and those who were supporting the powerful, charismatic Mudclaw.

Nightcloud refused to allow her Clan to fall into the claws of ThunderClan's ambition. WindClan could not be allowed to be seen as WEAK. Weakness invites invasions. Invasion invites death.

Not everyone that joined Mudclaw's side of the rebellion believed that ThunderClan was lying. Crowfeather believed it was the truth. Mudclaw himself did as well, though he didn't discourage beliefs that benefited him.

Nightcloud absolutely did believe that ThunderClan lied. And that cats outside of the Clan can't be trusted.

...and then.

Mudclaw started working with non-WindClan cats, namely Hawkfrost. The rebels were joined by reinforcements, given quiet support and aid, handed the knowledge that they would have extra backup if things got violent.

At first, Nightcloud was one of the most vehemently opposed to them.

At first.

But... Hawkfrost has some good points about all of the Clans needing to be strong and independent.

And he's right, that; "ThunderClan's plotting won't stop with one Clan. Tigerstar came from ThunderClan, after all."

And, if things go wrong... they will need the extra claws. They couldn't fight against the remainers alone.

"Hold on, who says we'll be fighting anything?"

Wide, innocent blue eyes, "You can't believe that ThunderClan will just let the word of StarClan shine through, can you?"

He's... reasonable. He's right.

So, in the BLINK of an eye, she and Crowfeather were surrounded by Thistle Law supporters. OPEN ones.

And Mudclaw himself didn't seem to mind all that much.

For Nightcloud, it was too late to have doubts, especially when Hawkfrost's lie made such perfect sense. When the Moonpool was discovered by that THUNDERCLAN Cleric, Leafstripe, Honored by the new name Leafpool, that was the last push she needed to ride into battle with Mudclaw.

ThunderClan had to be stopped at ALL COSTS before they installed a fake, sniveling little mouse to do all of their bidding. If Onewhisker had to die to prevent it?

Then... so be it.

They created a plan. Onewhisker was organizing WindClan to carry out a Muirburn, a carefully controlled fire to return the territory to heathland.

They would sabotage it, and throw him into the same fire meant to cleanse their new home. It would be symbolic, practically religious in its righteousness.

But CROWFEATHER betrayed them. Bolted to his friends in ThunderClan, that daughter-of-Firestar and the Tigerkin liar.

During the battle, Nightcloud leapt on Leo and went for a ferocious bite to the back of the neck. She was ripped off by another warrior just in time, taking a chunk of his scruff with her.

It gave him a permanent, gnarly scar. A reminder to Nightcloud of how close she came to killing him, and how much she hated such a kindhearted tom.

The tide of battle turned as the ThunderClan reinforcements came behind Crowfeather. In that instant, it was as if StarClan had torn open the sky, and the heavens were bleeding rain upon the burning moor.

Nightcloud fled along with the other rebels, and bore witness to StarClan's smiting of the false idol.

With a clap of lightning, a tree from the Gathering Island toppled down, crushing Mudclaw beneath it.

She stopped running, staring in breathless awe. The rain washed away the mud and the ash that clung to her pelt, and for the first time in moons, she felt like her mind was clear.

It was like, for a brief moment, the song of fear and anger behind her eyes forgot the lyrics, leaving her with cold reality.

"What have I DONE?"

That sabotaged Muirburn was one of the most short-sighted, cruel, evil things she can imagine any cat taking part in... but at first, her regret was just in the amount of destruction it had caused, not in the ideology she'd fought to defend.

The heinous act had caused the peat below the moor to catch on fire, and WindClan was playing Whack-A-Mole with the various little blazes that kept popping up in the area; and THAT was what initially made her regret her role in the Civil War.

But... she had to work next to Snapstorm and Brushblaze, just like any other Clanmates. Pigeonflight's daughter had also come into her own, Cranberrysplash. And ThunderClan continued to send aid to help with the reckless disaster she'd been part of.

She still grappled with a strong, immediate distrust of strangers... but it was tempered by the sobering realization she had while watching Mudclaw die.

And the shame, knowing that she'd been taking out her grief of losing Tawnyfur and Hillrunner on all these innocent cats.

Onewhisker's lenience... was mercy. All along.

She tried to punish herself for ever criticizing her new leader for "weakness." WindClan needed all the paws it could get to fight the fires and continue to feed the Clan, and Onestar was the cat who understood that.

He showed unfathomable kindness and wisdom by giving her and the other rebels no punishment.

She vowed to atone for it. She would not waste her second chance.

Nightcloud had been so busy trying to make up for what she'd done, fighting fires, building dens, and carefully rotating hunts to manage the prey populations that she barely registered that she didn't see much of Crowfeather after the night of the Muirburn.

While WindClan was gossiping, she was largely left out of the loop for being distrusted at the time.

When he came back, they started spending a lot of time together.

Mateship & Abuse

She liked Crowfeather. They'd been in each other's orbit since the Civil War, and she admired his judgement at nearly every turn. Mudclaw seemed like a good choice for a lot of people, but Crowfeather had seen when his true colors started to show. He made a truly heroic choice at the end. So when he expressed interest in her, it felt like she was going to be his next good call.

Nightcloud had so, so much to prove.

In spite of his absence, Crowfeather was a hero to the Clan. The warrior blessed by StarClan to bring them to their new home, a land of a thousand more stars, he who betrayed the traitors.

And in spite of that. He had a loneliness. He requested a name to honor the cat of another Clan, a lover he had lost on his mission

He is loud, passionate, and yet there seemed to be a niche in his heart he wanted to fill.

So... she wanted to be his missing piece, in service of the great love that binds a Clan together. To help him.

To prove she could mean something to someone, and be trusted in turn by a Clan that, rightfully, looked at her with suspicion.

but she didn't LOVE him so much as she RESPECTED him.

and he never saw her as much more than an in-Clan replacement for Leafpool, especially while he was secretly reeling from her dumping him and cancelling their elopement plans.

It didn't really strike her that they were mutually using each other; Crowfeather to affirm his loyalty to the Clan, and Nightcloud to prove she could love and be loved.

And neither of them were even accomplishing that. But, there's a difference between them.

While Nightcloud was trying, GOD she was trying... Crowfeather quickly grew frustrated that she was a person, and not just the perfect image of the "true love" that Feathertail and Leafpool would have given to him

So he started FINDING things to criticize about her. Reasons that he could use to justify why it's not HIS fault he's not happy, but hers.

She's clingy. She's too cold. She's less attractive when she's carrying their child. She's too demanding when she tells him to help out with the kit.

NOTHING she did was right, and meanwhile, even when Breezekit was young, Crowfeather was an awful Ba.

Depending on his mood, he was either too rough or too distant, a dichotomy he used to describe as Nightcloud being unable to make up her mind. Does she want him to help, or does she want space??

Problem is, you can't be fair with unfair people. When Crowfeather would say ANY of this, she would try to take his words in good faith

And Breezekit's formative moons were spent watching his mother twist herself in knots, trying to avoid whatever his father was complaining about that week.

But it NEVER satisfied him. It never COULD.

and worst of all...

Whenever she DID fight back, dragged down into explosive arguments after biting her tongue again and again, Crowfeather would ALWAYS bring up Feathertail. She's dead, and so Nightcloud could never defeat this ideal, NONEXISTENT image of this nearly perfect hypothetical lover that he could have had.

Crow: "And YOU don't even care. You CUT me, Nightcloud! I am being flayed and left to DIE from infection, and you don't even care."

Night: "Of course i care, I'm here aren't i?? Feathertail loved you, but I do too! And I'M in YOUR Clan, in case you haven't NOTICED."

Crow: "Oh you love me do you? I don't think you do. There's a reason I loved Feathertail enough to be so tempted away from my Clan, but YOU'RE such an awful person that YOU happily did ARSON."

Night: "I... I wasn't-"

Crow: "Wasn't trying to betray your Clan? Wasn't trying to make me feel like some kind of animal?? What WERE you trying to do, then?"

Night: "I've ALWAYS tried to make up for what I did, I was trying to-"

Crow: "To WHAT? To hurt me? Like you always do? All I wanted was you to see that I'm-"

Night: "Can you cut it out?! I wanted-"

Crow: "STOP Interrupting me, this is exactly what I mean! Feathertail NEVER made me feel this way, she would let me finish and listen to everything I have to say before trying to jump in. WHAT have I done wrong exactly? What IS it this time?? Hm???"

Night: "I-- Crowfeather I'm trying! I didn't mean to make you feel that way, and I'm not trying to fight. I just don't know what you want from me, I'm-"

Crow: "I say it over and over and over!! Are you stupid? I should have been with a rabbit, at LEAST it would have given me faster children!"

Night: "Can you stop being a CHILD for a minute and TELL me what you want me to do? In simple terms? Or is that just too much?"

Crow: "Fine. But im not going to repeat myself again. I don't deserve this, you're lucky I'm gracious."

When Breezekit became Breezepaw, Nightcloud had lost patience with this treatment. She still tried to be gentle with Crowfeather, but he was starting to force her into making a choice; Was she going to protect her son? Or was she going to keep endlessly trying to appease her husband?

In her head... SHE might "deserve" it. She knows she's "difficult." And that a lot of the things Crowfeather says about her are "true"

And if she's lonely, she "brought it on herself" by doing awful things. That's why she tries so hard to atone for them.

But Breezepaw is her BABY, and Crowfeather makes him feel like a little brat. Yells at him, finds reasons to pick on him, gives him the cold shoulder when he's done wrong...

At first, it looked like overprotectiveness, because she was often shoving herself between Breezepaw and his father, never backing up Crowfeather when he was punishing their son, and "downplaying" her son's rude behavior.

In reality, those were the actions of someone who was trying to prevent arguments from turning into abuse.

Those were things HILLRUNNER used to do with her, though at the time, she didn't realize that Crowfeather was in the same positions that her Mi had once been in

In fact, she continued to grapple with the deep feelings of shame, that she might be like Hillrunner when she was trying so hard to be different.

But the truth remained, that she recognized the same patterns that she was forced to be hyperaware of, and was trying to stop them before they escalated.

It took MANY years, well into Breezepelt's adulthood, AND well into her divorce, before she realized that.

Protecting her son was as reflexive as a hunting crouch. It was just something she did.

Unfortunately, Crowfeather was the one with power in this situation. And his immense sway was palpable. If he vented to a Clanmate about how hard it was to have a mate who undermines him and a son who defied him, they'd believe him.

So, Breezepelt started getting written off as "a problem kid" by the adults.

What changed... was Hollyleaf's reveal at that fateful Gathering.

She had been desperately trying to "atone" for what she'd done for years, guilty and shameful that she'd been complicit in an attack that had gotten cats killed and set the peat on fire. She kept proving herself, over and over, as Crowfeather held his love for an outsider up over her head.

And then she finds out he was HIDING this from her, ALL THIS TIME. There'd been ANOTHER MOLLY from another Clan she was being compared to.

Unlike canon; Crowfeather knew. He didn't need to be told. Hollyleaf looks just like his father Deadfoot. Lionblaze has his tail tip. Jayfeather is a miserable git.

They were born 2 months after Leafpool left him, choosing her Clan and her CLERIC FRIEND over HIM. He isn't stupid.

Emotions ran high and, right in front of his wife, at a PUBLIC GATHERING, he made another love confession to Leafpool. That she never should have abided her vow because she belonged with HIM.

Leafpool was fucking mortified. On top of her life crumbling as the secret was revealed, she was undergoing the cat equivalent of being cornered in a public space as an unwanted ex begs you to acknowledge your LOVE.

Leafpool is completely and utterly out of love for Crowfeather, not a SINGLE flicker of it left in her heart, but NIGHTCLOUD felt like Leafpool's tears were because she missed Crowfeather soooo much.

And after YEARS of being compared to FEATHERTAIL, only to find out she was being contrasted to LEAFPOOL all along??

And that Crowfeather really WOULD just break the code for any OTHER lover? Even "a treacherous, vow-breaking, abominable little [cat meow censor] FROM ANOTHER CLAN?"

AND A CLERIC?????

YEARS of trying to unlearn bigotry, keeping lessons about unity kept close in spite of the growing tensions between the Clans, having an open mind towards the people she'd unfairly judged, trying to atone for following Mudclaw... What's the point??

She was humiliated, embarrassed, scandalized. For moons she'd tried to appease him, and then he goes after HER SON, and then DOES THIS.

But something was different.

Onestar had enough of Crowfeather and his shenanigans.

By making a fool of himself at that Gathering, he made a fool of the WHOLE Clan.

Not only did he sire kittens with a Cleric, in a half-clan relationship, vanishing for a week to go on a holiday as the Clan was fighting peat fires, but he didn't even have the decency to NOT TELL AN ENTIRE GATHERING THAT HE DOESN'T REGRET IT.

Onestar snapped.

CrowFEATHER is an Honor Title. CrowFOOT was in respect to his deceased father, Deadfoot.

These names are both too honorable.

And even a DISHONOR Title is too good for this sort of behavior.

If he cannot behave like a Clan cat, then he WILL NOT BE ONE.

For one moon, Crow, no suffix, just Crow, would live on his own in total exile.

It was such a scandal that Nightcloud was horrified. The whole Clan had turned to look to her, see what she would do, desperate to know how she was reacting and what she would do next.

But... their tune changed.

They weren't looking at her like Crowfeather's ungrateful mate. They were curious about her judgement.

CrowFEATHER had convinced so many people that Nightcloud had been the problem, with his immense sway and influence.

But what he did was shocking and abhorrent to WindClan. Now he is just Crow, a rogue on the border.

And Nightcloud is as reliable as she always has been.

What really causes Crowfeather to begin to change here in BB, is that when he comes back... nearly everyone has been better off without him.

After a moon, Crow came back thinking that Nightcloud would snarl at him, or they'd fight, or she'd weep, or... something negative.

But instead, she greeted him. Cordially. Casually. With the tiniest little lilt to her tone that you only hear when you're forced to welcome someone you dislike.

For the rest of BB!OotS, they were together but... distantly. If it wasn't totally over, it was visibly dying.

They had a few more fights, public spats, but now that the Clan didn't seem to have Crowfeather's back...

He started to lose his nerve, and she stopped feeling terrible for things that happened long ago.

Now WindClan was following Nightcloud's lead on Crowfeather. When she was gracious, so were they. When she was pushed to snapping, they saw him like the unreasonable one.

But, honestly? That attention made Nightcloud uncomfortable.

She disliked the sway she now seemed to have over her ex-mate's reputation. She hated him and everything he did, especially in the few times that he would STILL try to deflect blame onto her, but... wielding that kind of social sway, after being an outsider for so long, it felt heavy and toxic in her belly.

Between OotS and AVoS, she realized that she's not like him. He reveled in the spotlight and influence he had over the Clan as a result of his power, adored attention and drama and being able to command it. Crowfeather would complain that life was so unfair, but he ENJOYED how the rules were applied so loosely to him, and how well he was treated because of the pain he'd gone through.

She doesn't.

In fact, she even resents the finicky opinions of her Clanmates. That earning their respect, in the end, was something she had absolutely no control over. She'd gone through so much for so long and so very few cats had ever had her back, and to be vindicated now of all times?

It was sour. Not comforting.

If she made any mistakes during OoTS, it was enabling Breezepelt's growing xenophobia in the midst of her own pain and frustration. She didn't KNOW that he was being recruited by the Dark Forest. If she did, she would have done something to try and stop him.

Breezepelt and AVoS

The worst part of it all was that none of this newfound reputation carried over to her opinions about her son. Breezepelt continued to be hated and distrusted because of his role in the Battle of the True Eclipse (BOTTE), where the Dark Forest killed so many warriors. He'd fought until the end of the night.

Of course she was disappointed in him. Of course she knew he'd done something awful. But she had too, so many years ago.

The fact he had also been a victim of Crowfeather's slander was disregarded in the eyes of WindClan, and for his role in the fight, Onestar gave him and his complicit friends Dishonor Titles.

Breezepelt became Dodderheart-- a reference to a parasitic type of bush, native to heathland, which strangle and kill the flowers. Harespring didn't get off without one. Darkseeker had sought his biological father in the Dark Forest, Mudclaw, and then the BOTTE had killed his Mi and biological uncle, Torear.

Nightcloud tried to encourage her son to follow Darkseeker's lead in seeking atonement, but he had decided that this meant; "My own mother had taken HIS side, that damn traitor who threw me under the boar so that he could save his own reputation, distancing himself from THE REST OF US so that he can climb the ranks! WELL!"

When The Kin arrived at the lake, lead by the mysterious Darktail, Nightcloud was powerless as the pied piper called forth cats of many Clans.

He appealed to everyone who felt alienated. Every HalfClan cat still dealing with stigma, every young warrior frustrated by the dogged separation of the Clans... and, especially, to all of the Dark Forest trainees who still lived.

It was a trap, and Breezepelt was drawn to it.

As the situation got worse and worse, Nightcloud could only watch from afar as Onestar responded with furious embargoes, aggression, and fury towards any type of contact with Darktail's cats.

Along with Brushblaze and Harespring, now deputy and having shed his Dishonor Title, she plotted ways to undermine Onestar's strict orders and try to reach her son.

And.... Crowfeather, too.

To her surprise, he wanted to help.

The irony was overwhelming. Yes Breezepelt, or Dodderheart, damn Onestar's pernicious name, YES he had been making his own choices for a long time, but Crowfeather knew full well who had set him on this path.

In spite of how he'd try to deflect the blame for seasons on seasons.

Hedgehogs took flight that day, because his response was, "You think I don't know that? ...that's why I'm here."

Someone else might have wanted to shove that back in his face, drink in every drop of smugness they'd earned, tell Harespring to kick him from the help efforts for causing so much pain in the first place..

...But Nightcloud isn't like that someone else.

Breezepelt was what mattered to her. Anyone who was going to help was another alibi, another mouth to carry herbs, another set of claws to fight by their side.

...is that what working with others really means, at its core?

Maybe it's not love that truly binds us, but a sense of duty. The commitments we make to each other, and the honor to keep them.

She loves her son. And by extension, she loves Heathertail and Harespring who love him.

But her Clanmates... she doesn't love them. Or Crowfeather.

And Crowfeather wasn't here out of love for her. Maybe not even love for Breezepelt as a person. He was here for honor. Repentence. To right a wrong.

Whatever reason he was here; it still meant he was HERE. To help.

In that moment, she thinks back to the words of Hillrunner. That only blood-family would ever turn out for you, and strength was what allowed you to keep them.

Looking over to Brushblaze, thinking to her Clanmates, she finally had the wisdom to see the words for what they were

It was the scared, broken philosophy of a molly who had lost everything a hundred times over, clinging to something that made sense, trying to scare her kits into never leaving her side.

Nightcloud was truly unlike her. Surrounded by allies of all kinds, united in their goal to rescue her son and other Kin captives and victims.

She was entitled to her reasonable distrust, but not held back by it. She never would forgive Crowfeather, but they could work together. For Breezepelt.

Hillrunner wasn't completely wrong about strength. It was an asset.

But so is faith.

After they'd brought Breezepelt home along with many others, bedraggled and shaken by their experiences, Nightcloud was absolutely shocked by how graciously Onestar seemed to be towards them.

She didn't question it at the time, but when Onestar spent his final life stealing a plan Breezepelt admitted was his own, to sacrifice himself drowning Darktail, it suddenly made sense.

After Harestar took power, she had cemented herself as one of his favorite warriors. A powerful, loyal brawler, who was willing to do anything under his command. Breezepelt had accepted at this point that he was never going to have a position of power due to his past; and that was okay.

She spent a lot of time with the grandkits Breezepelt eventually had with his mates, Harestar and Heathertail. For the first time in a long time, she's finally at peace with the family she's acquired.

Trivia and Misc

I'm tempted to swap Crowfeather and Nightcloud as deputy. I feel like Nightcloud makes a very interesting one.

At the same time though, I do like the drama of Crowstar and Squirrelstar as opposing leaders, so I'm still unsure.

For some reason whenever I think of Nightcloud, I think of ABBA songs lmao. Thank You For The Music, or maybe Knowing Me Knowing You.

As you can see, I split up Crowfeather's Trial and shuffled it around. I feel like for most of OotS, Nightcloud and Crowfeather are doing nothing but arguing and the development feels incredibly rushed because it's all in an SE, so I've pushed a major event back.

They also never actually describe their verbal arguments; so I'm using them to make my take on Crowfeather more clear. He's emotionally abusive.

Something that I often feel isn't done enough is abusers who are popular, and also funny. How devastating it feels for someone you love to mock you in public, and then a bunch of people laugh because "you deserve it."

Or just see you as the aggressor by default

Knowing you can't do shit about it because they're just more loved than you. Their word vs yours.

(especially when paired with trauma that makes you forget major details so you can't even recall any examples in the moment, so you just get painted as clingy and whiny)

All that said, there's a ton of abusive cats in BB, most of them never improve or get better, but Crowfeather will.

And from Nightcloud's perspective, that's a good thing. And I want to capture that deeply bittersweet feeling.

She's happy he's not so terrible anymore... but god, it doesn't undo any of the AWFUL things he did and said to her.

Anyway, I really want to fit Nightcloud's buddy Pickle in somehow, but I'm still working it out. Pickle was such a cute character

Hillrunner and Downwind are repurposed Missing Kits! WindClan is ridiculously tiny so I had to stretch it pretty thin.

I don't see a ton of Nightcloud origin stories, so the one I figured made the most sense was picking up on the observation others have made about her "coddling" behavior

In-canon, because Crowfeather is abusive to his kid, it suddenly implies that a major reason why Nightcloud is so protective of Breezepaw in arguments is because she's trying to prevent it from escalating into abuse.

Eventually I'd like to build out some more friends, and expand on her budding friendship with Brushblaze. Not to mention Willowclaw.

Maybe I should repurpose Crowfeather's Trial into an SE about Nightcloud... Nightcloud's Thaw, maybe. Something about a change that's a long time coming, so I can show her new backstory and how she reacts to all the changes in WindClan towards her reputation.

And that's Nightcloud! I think she deserves an AU where she gets to be a more fleshed out supporting character, as a treat <3

#Tw abuse #Tw child abuse #BB!Nightcloud #Better Bones AU #Character Summary #Tw abusive relationship

[lunareiitic]

HSR 1.6 SPOILERS AHEAD BE WARNED

I saw a discussion on Reddit earlier where someone talked about how gracious Herta is to Ruan Mei and felt that the plot shows that Ruan Mei is taking advantage of her and I felt like... it's not a bad conclusion to draw from the text but. It feels not correct. Like yes, Herta essentially does let RM do whatever she wants, especially with regards to the space station, and RM doesn't seem to be very thankful for it. (Setting aside the fact that it isn't really Herta's space station. Asta's the one who bankrolls and manages it. It's just got Herta's name on it. Herta is just as uncaring to the researchers lmao) But to call RM a "passive manipulator" (yes, I saw this take too) of her and nothing more I think... overlooks both of their personalities? Taking into account that both of these characters are essentially confirmed autistic (go see the official post about the Genius Society, you can't make this up) their dynamic is a little tragic but very true-to-life.

Herta is loud, pushy, and bratty. She's like a cat- she doesn't take no for an answer and the moment you try to get her to do something she doesn't want to do she goes limp and useless. She admires Ruan Mei because she's nothing like her. And RM would never push Herta to do anything. RM doesn't push. She doesn't even really manipulate. The woman cannot lie to save her life. All she did was ask Herta if she could use part of the space station and Herta obliged, and it sounds like she'd been waiting for Ruan Mei to finally ask her for something. RM doesn't really have a malicious bone in her body. That's what makes her so terrifying. People are often just willing to do as she asks and she makes no pretenses or illusions about herself, her motives, or her life. The closest she gets to lying is just not answering when pressed. She is so socially inept she has to drug the trailblazer into silence so they'll help her. And I think this is... out of embarrassment? If it were me, an autistic bitch who cannot lie to save my life, I would want to do something similar. She knows she's gotten herself into a situation because she left the incubator on too long and then the space station got attacked, but admitting that to Herta would wound her pride and also cause friction between them. You can tell that she brought the Trailblazer into that Genius meeting because she was afraid Herta and Screwllum had caught on to her, and once she realizes that it's just them debating about (in her eyes) nothing, she lets the Trailblazer go. I've seen people call that "callous", as if she was dropping them as soon as they were not useful to her. But she says why she does it basically immediately- she thinks it would bore us and she has something else more important that she needs our help with.

I think the part of Ruan Mei's character that people are overlooking right now is that Ruan Mei does care. Look at the story bit for Genius' Repose, where she serves machine oil in a teacup for Screwllum and promises to send a box of homemade sweets to Herta's flesh-and-blood body. She's the kind of person who is actively thinking of her mother and her grandmother and their little home in the snow every time she eats something sweet. Her creations are literally desperate with love. Love, love, love, love. Love that feels alien to her, love that she can't put into words, love that her alexithymia won't let her ascertain and compartmentalize. Love that is as elusive and vexing and important as that spark of the divine soul she's been chasing all this time. She loves and she loves deeply, to the point of obsession. But she's in love with the past as much as Herta is- their signature light cones both have them reflecting on a past version of themselves that they know they cannot have back. She quite literally brought her mother back to life because she couldn't bear to break a promise to her late grandmother (who... somehow, is still waiting for her... somewhere). She's a deeply sentimental person. Haven't you ever looked at other people and felt, even for just a moment, that you are apart from them? That they have something you lack? What if you let that feeling consume you? Ruan Mei yearns for a world that she cannot touch because she's lost the trees in the greater forest of her mind. She feels the need to become god because she feels so utterly alienated from the world around her. But she can't escape herself, no matter how far she runs.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that Herta and Ruan Mei are friends, even if Ruan Mei doesn't feel that she's capable of it. It makes a lot of sense that they're both ice too, element ruled primarily by The Remembrance. I wonder how they both feel about that?

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr spoilers #ruan mei #herta #this got away from me but I have been thinking about her nonstop for two weeks now

[cakexblankett]

Lap dance

Character

Larissa Weems

Rating

Red

Words

1.804

~•~

It was a chill sunday evening when you received a message from Possum.

Possum:

Wish you could be here with me, mommy is feeling very naughty tonight.

10:30 PM

You bit your lip, reading the message again and again.

You had been texting this misterious woman, who called herself Possum, for a couple of months now. It all started innocently, she found you on Tumblr and sent you a message. You remained intrigued by her, her way of texting was sweet and passionate, especially when she talked about what she liked- fashion shows and fashion in general, she could go hours telling you about it.

You stalked her account; she reposted pictures of cats, and, obviously, fashion related posts. She seemed innocent but refined. Soon enough, you found out she wasn't that innocent after all.

She started asking you personal questions, at first normal one, like what was your colour or your favourit dish, then getting more insidious, like what was your favourite position in bed or if you liked to be toped.

You didn't mind, you took a liking to her, so you replied truthfully, knowing she would do the same. And before you knew it, she started wanting you to call her mommy and even asked you if you would be willing recording you touch yourself. You declined, but not because you didn't trust her or because you were ashamed or shy about it, but you would have prefered leaving this kind of things for when you would meet in real life.

You:

Then maybed I should come over and make mommy feel good.

10:35 PM

It was time to get things in motion and see who you were talking to. You imagined she was a beautiful woman, she said she was in her forties, and you loved middle aged women, so that was surely a point in her favour- and in yours. You imagined she was a freak in bed- all those messages she sent you, about how she would have liked to try different positions with you, made you certain she was a beast in making love.

You waited for her reply, while your thoughts filled with fantasies of her touching you. You didn't even know how she looked but that didn't stop you from dreaming.

Possum:

I'll send you my location. Don't make mommy wait.

10:40 PM

You jumped off your bed and ran towards your wardrobe. You were wearing your pajama, so it was evident that you needed to change. What to wear, though, was a dilemma. You wanted something that would have caught her eye, something luxurious, sexy, but easy to be undressed from.

After a while, you opted for a tight skirt and a blouse- you left the first three buttons unbottuned. You wore a choker with the word "pet" spelled on it.

You smiled, calling a taxi and giving the driver the adress. The ride there was torture, you nimbled on your bottom lip, thinking of all the ways she would make you come undone. You were already feeling the ache, the need to feel her touch all over you.

Once arrived, you paid the taxi driver and texted Possum.

You:

I'm here.

11:19

You looked around you. The neighborhood was quiet and you could tell from the villas and expensive houses that she was rich like everybody else there.

You glanced at your phone, seeing that she read your text. You waited for a second, before the door in front of you opened and your breath itched in your throat.

Before you stood the most beautiful woman you had ever layed eyes upon. Her white hair was in an introcate updo, her plump lips were painted a sinful shade of red. Her blue eyes were watching you curiously and hungryly. She was tall, very tall and she wore a tight, beige dress, that accentuated her curves in a delicious way. You imagined she was beautiful, but she was divine, she was more than you could have ever dreamed of.

"Please, do come in."

You smiled, making your way into her house. It was huge and well decorated. She wasn't lying when she said she liked fashion. Everything was curated meyiculously, every detail added to the perfection of the interior.

"This is nice. You are nice."

She raised an eyebrow, smiling. You were so nervous, you felt your cheeks flush red.

"Am I just "nice" or do I make you feel something more... carnal?"

You gulped. You had just met her and yet you were ready feeling inebriated by her. It made you feel dizzy, like you were dreaming, but you hoped it was really real, that she wasn't just a fantasy born from your imagination.

"You make me feel everything at once."

She hummed and you had to close your eyes, the sound going straight to your core. Her voice was something otherworldly. Her english accent made her sound refined, and her voice was sweet and low, making you feel like a sailor at sea, called by a siren. You were doomed, you could have easily fell for a woman like her. Maybe you already did.

You opened your eyes at the feeling of her hand on your throat. You gasped, her fingers tracing the letters on your choker. She giggled, an exquisite sound that you wanted to hear more of.

"My little pet."

You watched her lips move whilst she said that, feeling the need to know how soft they were. Her hand closed gently around your neck, squeezing gently. You let out a moan, watching as Larissa's eyes grew darker. Then her lips clashed on yours, it was so fast you could have missed it if it wasn't that now you two were kissing, and her lips were soft as feathers, your wanted to stay like that forever.

Her tongue swept on your bottom lip, asking for entrance, and you gave it to her. Her tongue didn't have to battle with yours for dominance, because you were more than alright being the one seduced and dominated. The fact that a woman like her wanted you made your ego reach up the stars.

"Come."

She took her hand and led you up the stairs, to her bedroom. The room was spacious but almost empty. There was a huge painting on one wall depicting two women having sex. It was beautifully made, it almost looked like a photograph. There was a kingsized bed, who screamed for you to use it.

She kissed you again, more gently than before, and started unbottuning your blouse.

"If you're not feeling comfortable, tell me to stop and I will."

You shook your head, helping her undress you.

"I want this, I want you."

She gave you a quick peck on the lips before taking off your blouse. The skirt followed it on the floor. She took two steps back, glancing at you.

"Hm beautiful."

You blushed, her compliment meant the world to you. She made you sit on the side of the bed, then she slowly started taking off her dress. Her legs were long and toned, almost in contrast with her pale complexion that made her look like she made out of porcelain. When she remained in her undergarments, she sat on your lap and began moving on you, giving you a lap dance. It was funny, her, the tall and mature one, giving you, the small and young one, the lap dance. But you didn't complain.

She knew what she was doing, roaming her hands on your body, her hot breath on your ear. You clasped your hands on her butt, helping her move easily on you.

"Tell me what you need."

Her whisper made you shiver.

"Fuck me."

She stopped her motions and got off you. She kneeled and opened your legs. You moaned at the sight. She looked at you with doe eyes while she took off your panties. The fresh air hit your wet center and you whimpered. She stroked your folders with two fingers, feeling just how ready you were to be taken.

"Is this the effect mommy has on you?"

You nodded frantically, seeing her on her kneew, between your legs, made you horny like nothing else could.

"Do you want mommy to make you feel good?"

You nodded again, letting out a small moan. She was so hot, so seductive, you wondered if she was ever like this or if she learned to be.

"Say it."

"I want mommy to make me feel good."

"Hm good pet."

She licked your slit, latching on your clitoris, sucking at it and swirling her tongue around it. Waves of pleasure washed over you, you felt euphoric. She swept her tongue one last time on your bundle of nerves before entering you with two fingers. You let out a whimper, grasping the sheet under you. She curled her fingers inside you, making you see stars.

"Good girl, taking me so well."

You were a moaning mess, soon you felt the orgams wash over you. She helped you ride it, still moving gently inside you.

"Such a good pet, did mommy make you feel good?"

"You made me feel more than good."

She smirked, taking out her fingers. She put them in her mouth, looking at you straight in the eyes. She moaned, tasting you on her digits. Your pupils dilated, feeling yourself grow needy once more.

"Do you want to make mommy feel good too?"

She took off her undergarments, and positioned herself between your legs. Her clitoris touched yours, and you felt a jolt of electricity run in your veins. She started slowly moving her hips, the friction making you whimper. Your clitoris was still sensitive, but it felt good to feel her moving on top of you.

"Hm you're going to make mommy come."

She started riding you faster, her hips swaying up and down quickly. In a matter of minutes, you two were pn the edge.

"Come with me, make me hear you scream my name."

You only needed a few more movements and you both came.

"Larissa!"

She layed beside you, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead. You hugged her, feeling her warm skin touch yours. You could get used to this.

"It was awesome."

She laughed.

"You had doubts?"

You smiled, shaking your head. She cupped your cheek. You tried to take a picture of her in your mind. Her lipstick smeared, her updo slowly falling apart. She somehow looked better than before.

"If you want to, you can stay the night."

"I would love to."

You both smiled. You felt incredibly lucky to have met her, and you knew that night was the start of something far bigger and marvelous than you could have predicted.

#fanfiction #ff #lesbian #actress #gay #gxg #larissa x reader #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #gwendoline christie x reader #gwendoline christie #x reader

[midnightechoes]

Five years ago today, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power premiered on Netflix. I had seen a few preview articles about it, and liked what I saw. Those articles mostly focused on She-Ra’s, Adora’s, Glimmer’s, Bow’s, and Catra’s redesigns, and I thought they were fabulous. I loved Adora’s new red jacket and bouffant hair style. Glimmer’s entire redesign was inspired, and I loved that they made Bow black so we could have more diversity in the main cast.

It was She-Ra’s and Catra’s redesigns that caught my eyes the most, though. They made Catra an actual catgirl, and not just in the anime sense where she's just a cute girl with cat ears and maybe a cat tail. She was a full-on furry. It was a brilliant design choice. Honestly it’s no wonder that so many were instantly drawn to her.

And of course, She-Ra herself. I loved her new look, and her huge ass new Sword of Protection. In fact, I loved it so much that I drew this picture of her before the show even came out:

Then the show came out, and needless to say, I fell in love. And honestly, it changed my life.

I know, I know. That sounds very hyperbolic, and to an extent it is, but in a lot of ways, I’m absolutely serious.

Alright, I have to back up a little. Back when I was in college, and for a few years after, a couple of friends and I tried to make a webcomic called The Devil’s Gate. It was minorly successful but eventually floundered. Then I met some people and we tried to make a video game, which also failed. After those few years, I found myself on my own and trying to rework the concept of my webcomic. Making comics, creating stories, those have always been my dream, and I was desperately trying to figure out a story I could make work, something that I believed in. But it never truly got off the ground. By the end of 2015 I had given up on the comic, realizing that after working on it for years in different forms that I needed to step away from it.

I didn’t really know what to do after that. I was still doing my quick daily doodles, but I wasn’t writing, I wasn’t drawing anything of note. I felt emotionally and physically drained of my creativity. I was honestly getting to the point where I thought it might be time for me to give up on trying to be creative or making things all together.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power came out on November 13, 2018, but despite looking forward to it, I didn’t actually watch it when it came out. It wasn’t until that weekend that I decided to check it out.

I was instantly hooked. I binged through the entire season in two days, and did plenty of crying and cheering. And then rewatched it immediately. I was in love. I was obsessed. It had been a long time since anything grabbed me like SPOP did. I loved the characters. I loved the colorful, sci-fi-fairy tale world of Etheria. I loved how unapologetically feminine it was. And most of all, I loved how queer it was.

I hadn’t done a ton of shipping before SPOP. I’ve been down bad for harlivy for what feels like my whole life, and I was angry when Mika and HG didn’t get together in Warehouse 13, but more often than not I had just been conditioned not to look for queer things in mainstream culture, and even barely in subculture.

That is to say, when I was smashed in the face with Catradora I was surprised how much I glommed onto it immediately. I was absolutely taken with Adora and Catra and their relationship. Both characters were so relatable, and despite not quite being text (although the subtext was so loud and obvious it might as well have been text), it was impossible to not read their feelings for each other as romantic.

It wasn’t just Catradora, even if that was a lot of it. Spinnerella and Netossa being canon from the start was wonderful. How much Glimmer and Bow screamed “BISEXUAL DISASTERS” from the start was adorable. Scorpia’s crush on Catra was as cute as it was sad in its one-sidedness.

I had never really been in a fandom. That is, yeah I’ve liked things, loved things even, but I never found other people to talk about it at length, never found discords just for that thing, never read or wrote fanfic, barely ever drew fanart. 

But, I watched SPOP, and then I watched it again. And then I drew Catra. And then I drew Adora. And then I drew them again. And suddenly I was on AO3, a site I never frequented, reading Catradora fics. And then I had an AO3 account. That December I participated in Catradora Week 2018 (I’d never heard of this kind of thing) and drew two pictures for it and wrote my first fanfic.

By the end of February I had drawn more in the three months since the show had premiered than I had in the previous year. I was working furiously on a long, multi-chapter fanfic, and writing more words than I had in the previous couple of years combined.

I was inspired again.

In the 18 months that SPOP ran for, I drew more than I had in years, I wrote hundreds of thousands of words. I felt so rejuvenated and happy about my creativity and free for the first time in years.

It’s hard to put into words exactly how it felt. I was so close to giving up my art and writing, which honestly, would have been giving up a part of myself. An important part of myself. It’s not overstating that SPOP saved me, or at least my creative spirit.

I also learned about the wonders of being in a fandom and fandom things like fan weeks, big bangs, zines. And I made some wonderful friends that I cherish to this day.

Even as I inevitably moved onto other hyperfixations, my love for She-Ra hasn’t diminished. Plushie Catra and Adora sit next to me on my desk every day. Catradora art still hangs on my wall.

The inspiration that SPOP ignited in me hasn’t died either. It’s carried me through a tremendous level of creativity that I’ve been riding since the premiere. It let me create a ton of fan art for SPOP, and then RWBY and then the Witch From Mercury, and I’ve written a ton of fanfics for RWBY and Supergirl. And perhaps the best, that inspiration has helped me create more OC stuff in the last couple years than I had in a long time.

I owe She-Ra and The Princesses of Power so much. I am so happy that it exists and that it happened when it did. I’ll always cherish it.

And for real, Netflix, SPOP spin-off movies WHEN?!

#art #she ra #adora #catra #catradora #sk's art #shera #spop #she ra and the princesses of power #shera and the princesses of power #she-ra and the princesses of power #she-ra #fifth anniversary #netflix #netflix she-ra #wlw #lesbians #sapphic #lesbian love #lgbtq+ #lesbian

[nagitoshopejar]

How's how I think the characters would be from my hazbin hotel TK hide in seek scenario

Sorry it's not a lot lol

Charlie:

Hider:

- As a hider I think it would be very easy to find her as she would probably be almost constantly giggling.

- If she is found before anyone else she would definitely help the seeker.

- you CANNOT hide with her. Her giggles will either give away your guys' hiding spot.

- she's not very good at hiding anyways she always hides kind of in an obvious spot but not out in the open.

Seeker:

- will find everyone no exceptions.

- will play the TK monster thing to the point of calling herself the TK monster.

- Husker(who is canonically tkish) is terrified of her in this mood.

- knows everyone's spot

- also knows everyone's point and changes on how she tks someone based on how they react or feel about it.

Vaggie

Hider

- very good hider.

- will help you if you ask nicely.

- mostly plays to make Charlie happy and will stay with Charlie as a seeker.

- Charlie is mostly the reason she's found.

- she will hitch her breath when she hears footsteps.

- secretly enjoys it because of Charlie and will always be not so secretive if Charlie is the seeker

Seeker

- very good at finding

- she is always very gentle on everyone unless someone makes a comment

- I feel like it's not something she particularly gets into it's just she wants to make Charlie happy

- kind of makes it a battlefield

Angel Dust

Hider

- not really into this but he's like deathly tkish so he goes along with the hiding

- it's not that he hates it he just has a reputation to keep

- the type of guy to constantly keep moving and hiding in different spots so he's not found.

- playing it makes him forget about his problems with the studio for a moment

Seeker

- bro is going to find you no matter what

- like this guy will use Fat Nuggets as a sniffer dog and will have him sniff you out

- you know he's near if he's saying some teasy stuff

- always sneaks up on people

- will go for Husker first just to mess with him

- doesn't exactly have a whole process just kind of goes with it

Husker

Hider

- HE IS TERRIFIED

- he is canonically tkish and will screech if you find him

- makes sure to hide well and to try and camouflage or protect himself with his wings.

- will not hide with anyone he is terrified they will give away his position

- will kinda cling on the ceiling like a cat

- he's very careful

Seeker

- thinks this kind of thing is stupid but he has to do it and he ain't got anything better to do lol

- always uses his tail and wings to help him

- he's a cat so he's got like enhanced smell and finds them easily sometimes

- will handle Angel with care

Niffty

Hider

- she can't hide at all she's got to much energy to stay in one spot

- not that she has anything to worry about anyways she ain't tkish at all

- but she will go around and scare all the other demons bc we all know she would lol

- would openly help the seeker

Seeker

- dont

- she takes it to far so she has to supervised because everyone's worried but Charlie wants her to be apart of it so she doesn't feel excluded

- she's a very good finder

-like very good

Alastor

Hider

- he's the best

- he could actually hide but won't because he made a deal

- he's not to tkish but if he can be caught in a laughing fit of static radio noises if you try

- he hides the best he can without poofing away once someone is near.

Seeker

- will exploit every tkish spot that he can

- smiles sadistically and will always find you

- broadcasts your laughs for the other residents to hear as a warning

- it's the closest thing he can get without hurting anyone

- knows everyone's worst spot as well immediately

Sir Pentious

Hider

- tries but his snake tail always gives him away

- that and his eggs

- he's not even that bad at hiding

- he actually loves tks so he doesn't mind

Seeker

- uses his eggs and they all go off in different directions to look for the other residents

- doesn't use his eggs when he does find someone because he doesn't want to torture anyone

- very gentle and careful does not want to hurt anyone he is a sweetheart when he wants to be. But only when he wants to

- enjoys it a lot actually

IM SO SORRY ITS NOT MUCH AND MAY NOT BE THE BEST

It's 12 am and I'm tired as ffff

#sfw tickles #tickle #tickle blog #tickle fight #tickle monster #hazbin hotel tickle #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #angel dust #huskerdust #hazbin hotel husk #niffty #alastor #sir pentious

[atopvisenyashill]

i was thinking more about characters Performing Gender, but not necessarily Transgressing Gender. I wound up focusing on Ned and Sansa bc I feel like I understand them the most but-

Sansa as a hostage is imo the most obvious (bc it’s so well done) moment of someone clearly Performing Gender but not being transgressive in that performance. Which isn’t to say it’s not a complicated performance; it’s a fine line Sansa walks between weaponizing her gender to protect herself without seeming too fake. She’s trying to placate the Lannisters by playing the perfect, dedicated, air headed betrothed because it’s the only defense she has - if she outwardly rebels, she will be punished in a likely violent and/or sexual way (which isn’t even conjecture - when she says “or maybe he’ll give me yours” Joffrey has her struck with an armored hand). She’s not quite successful in being convincing but that’s because it’s a rather extreme situation; despite no one believing her, she does make herself seem meek and stupid enough that no one suspects she’s plotting to escape with Dontos until she’s well away from KL. The fact that she even has Dontos to confide in is because of Sansa’s relationship with gender! When she saves him, she covers her rebellious slip by playing up Joffrey’s intelligence & his role as King; she reaches for “tools” of her gender AND of ~proper manhood~ to save a life and herself from another beating. Her retreats into the godswood and silence are very much Sansa attempting to recharge from these draining interactions, the same way a knight would need to stop and eat and rest after a fight. She is fighting, constantly, by forcing herself to stay within the narrow confines of a specific type of gender performance as a way of shielding herself from harm.

Ned yelling at Cat is another big one, and I’ve seen the scene referred to as Ned using his patriarchal power to scare Cat, which is a great description. It feels like a Performance because Ned is putting on this terrifying Lord Stark mask in an attempt to get Catelyn to stop asking about Jon (and Lyanna). This is not how he usually acts with those he loves! When Ned is with His People, he is welcoming of questions, curiosity, emotion, even transgressive thought (to a point! the idea that Ned is a feminist because he lets Arya learn to fight is Not accurate but you can’t deny he allows significantly more flexibility wrt gender expression than most of the fathers we meet in this series. the bar is in hell tho). Yet when Cat asks him about Jon’s mother, Ned scares her so well she stops asking & still remembers the moment bitterly over a decade later. And if that snippet we see through Bran’s eyes of Ned praying that Cat will forgive him does come after she asks (like it’s suspected), it’s clear not only that this is a performance he’s putting on & weaponizing against Cat, it’s one he does not like using as a weapon against someone he is close to. After using the power his gender gives him to cause harm, he retreats to the godswood and silence to pray and rest, much like Sansa. A spiritual cleanse, the way a soldier may pray after battle, to reset and reconnect Being A Proper Man to Being A Kind Man.

I think there’s something interesting in that two of the characters most widely defined by how well they adhere to Westerosi gender norms both dislike feeling like they had to weaponize their gender. They are exhausted by the performance, because it’s a performance. This isn’t Sansa getting excited over tourneys, or Ned teaching his sons to fight; it’s toxic masculinity, it’s structural misogyny. It’s something they’re good at, excel at, and connected to something they enjoy but when it’s paired with violence, whether done by Ned or done to Sansa, it crosses over in their minds from an innate part of themselves (The Gender) to a performance necessary due to survival (The Gender Role). And that after these performances, both retreat to nature & god as a way of resting and cleansing from the experience.

#valyrianscrolls #ned stark #sansa stark #getting on my soap box #there’s something here too about romanticism. like shelley and coleridge and whitman. the need to return to nature to undo society’s harm. #especially with the way various romance movements and romantic tropes are played with by their characters. #i can’t even remember who said it which just shows u how shitty an english major i am aksjd but about how. #like society is necessary but just as necessary is the ability to escape into nature. i *think* it was coleridge i’m probably wrong. #the gender war makes corpses of us all #gender politics in asoiaf #obviously you can point to several moments for both of them. sansa calling petyr father. ned’s relationship with theon. wherein they both #are clearly performing something for an audience. #there’s like 12 other branches of this in my head. jaime’s romanticism. being knighted bloody & the sacrilegious nature of the sept sex. #and his inability to escape his gender performance the way ned & sansa do. ned being willing to cry in front of others but robb only ever #crying in the dark with his baby brother after he loses ned. cat’s tower stuff & finding solace in sewing. #i’m gonna try to write up something about loras & renly here too. tomorrow. #also i wrote this at the train station after work so if there’s errors or it makes no sense just pretend u never saw it skskdj

[asterias-record-shop]

Bingo Enemies to Lovers Ethan Landry prompt 3. 

Ethan and the reader have a bickering match every time the group is together. Mostly because he has a crush on her and in boy fashion he teases her instead of acting in his feeling but she’s not one to bite her tongue so they go back and forth. Anywho, he decides he’s going to do something more drastic and scare (or potentially kill. Wherever you want to take it honestly) her. But when he’s chasing her with the knife and he gets her he just can’t do it. She’s like pleading and he gets off on it. He doesn’t do anything at the moment. He leaves and the next couple of times they all hang out he’s more teasing than just arguing, trying to get her back to herself because she’s shaken up. He goes to her house to “check up” on her because she’s been less punchy lately. (In my head she can’t really tell her friends about the ghost face chase thing because they suspect her since she got away unharmed. So when he checks on her she just feels like he sees her and takes comfort in him.) she’s a bit vulnerable so she’s guarded at first. Prompt 3 around here I think. Ethan still either a virgin or has very little experience. I love his nerdy side in the movie. Wheew i nearly wrote it for you. I just want to see how you’d expand it. Love your work. Idk if this can fit in one part but I’d love to read how ever many this turns out to be ❤️

—𓆩[movie night]𓆪—

𓆩[main masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪 𓆩[updated bingo card!]𓆪 𓆩[bingo masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[join the bingo taglist!]𓆪

𓆩♡𓆪 CHARACTER - Ethan Landry x Fem! Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 TYPE - smut, fluff, angst maybe?

𓆩♡𓆪 WORD COUNT - 3.7K

𓆩♡𓆪 SUMMARY - Ethan had a school boy crush on you - it was the best way to explain how he felt about you. He loved the nights of bickering during movie nights, but when he gets told that he needs to kill you because you’re going to get in the way, he can’t. You get shaken up and aren’t your normal self so he goes to check on you, and one thing leads to something he truly didn’t expect to happen.

𓆩♡𓆪 STORY WARNINGS - cursing and foul language || fighting & teasing || attempted murder || slight dubcon(?) || Ethan pussies out || banter is his love language but it’s a bad love language || Dacryphilia || blood kink || blood eating || kind of mean/dom! reader || Ethan is a munch || unprotected sex || multiple orgasms || oral || face riding || creampie || definitely a breeding kink || size kink || SPIT ||

“It’s not me who’ll be dying a virgin.”

Those words wouldn’t have hurt him that much if they weren’t so true. He hated the fact that you had sex with men that weren’t him, good sex obviously from the way Tara always raved about how you and your nightly partner never let her sleep.

“Well… I think that’s it for movie night,” Chad had said as everyone stood up together. “Have a goodnight guys!”

You quickly stand, grabbing your bag and muttering things. “Tara, are you coming with me or are you staying?”

Tara nods, but then shakes her head. “I-I’m going to stay, if you don’t really mind?”

You smiled as you held up your bag. “No, I don’t mind. Got my buddy in here, I’ll see you later!”

You start to walk out, ignoring the buddy rule you and your friends had because at this point, you were truly going to snap and maybe murder one of them. Not in a Ghostface mask though.

You quickly went down the steps of the dorm, humming as you bounced on the sidewalk. As frustrated as you were with Ethan, you really needed to get back into your more happy mindset so your dog Cocoa would know you’re upset because dogs are basically superhuman.

You paused when you heard something clatter behind you, turning around in fear with a deep inhale. Almost on cue, a dark black cat jumped out from the alleyway making you sigh loudly, basically releasing a bit of the tension in your body before you turned back around and kept walking.

You didn’t feel it though, the release of fear, anxiety pooling at the pit of your flipping stomach. You inhaled shakily as you dug through your purse, gasping as you were pushed into an alleyway.

You screamed out, gasping as they forced you to turn around, the white mask making your heart stop. You could feel your knees go weak before they pushed a knee between your legs and pushed it upwards. “N-No, please don’t-”

You could hear him shush you, his gloved hand pressing to the lips of the mask as you looked away, whimpering when a knife pressed against your cheek. He pushed you to the side, forcing you to look at him as you tried to shake your head.

Ethan grinned under the mask, the sight of you whimpering and starting to sob from his blade, threatening to slice you up whenever he wanted. He inhaled deeply as you started to shake your head, his hand shaking against your jaw.

“Please… please don’t do this. Don’t do this, I’ll do whatever you want.”

Oh, whatever he wanted? The thought was appealing, the ability to just cut off all of your clothes, watch you crumble to your knees and force your mouth onto his cock to beg him not to kill you.

He inhaled deeply, attempting to press the blade harder into your skin but your tears made it slide. He flinched when it nipped at your skin, drawing the crimson liquid. He felt his eyes roll back as you sobbed loudly, his hand quickly going to your mouth, muffling your sounds.

You sobbed even louder, finally trying to fight against him before his knee pressed firmly into your pussy and a loud gasp falling from your lips.

“You better behave.” He growled out, his hand tightening around the hilt of the blade and pressing harder into your skin. “Behave!”

You sobbed loudly, shaky hands tugging on the black fabric of his robe. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll do anything you want me to, I promise! Please, please just don’t hurt me.”

He pressed it deeper into your skin, hand tightening around your mouth as he leaned forward. He ducked under the mask, being careful that you didn’t see him as he licked along your cheek, collecting your tears before dragging the tip of his tongue down to the nip he made, sucking on it to collect all the blood from the small cut.

You sobbed even harder as the knife slowly pushed into your collar bone, leaning close to your ear before forcing his voice deeper. “You tell anyone about this, I’ll come back and fuck you with the hilt of my knife, then I’ll kill you with a slit to your throat. You understand me?”

“Yes! Yes, I understand, I understand! I’m sorry!” You sobbed even harder but Ethan could hear voices and footsteps, quickly shushing you. “Kiss me. Kiss me and I won’t kill you.”

Quickly, you leaned up and pressed your lips to his as his hands caught both of your wrists before you could continue slamming your fists to his chest. He groans loudly into your mouth, knee shaking unconsciously making moans leave your mouth as you dig your nails into your palms.

“Just some horny kids. Get a damn room!”

They walked away, Ethan still not pulling back before your teeth tug on his lip hard enough to draw blood. He hissed loudly as he pulled away, laughing as he quickly pulled down his mask. Pressing the blade against your cheek, he tilts his head. “You’re mine, you got that? You belong… to me. Do you understand that? Don’t make me give you a real scar for you to understand that.”

You whined, eyes watering as your head bobbing. No tears were coming from your eyes, there was none left as he started to back away. “Don’t tell anyone, or I’ll come back!”

You weren’t the same. You never left game nights alone, you never argued with Ethan, you just sat there. Your hands were shaking, eyes darting everywhere every moment in time.

Tonight’s movie was It, a horror film Ethan didn’t really care for. In fact, no one really was keen on scary movies, but they wanted a bit of a change. You sat down next to Ethan, hugging a pillow tightly against your chest as he smirks down at you.

“If you get scared, you can hold my hand.”

You don’t respond, your hand quickly pushing into his, shaky fingers and sweaty palms tightly wrapped around his own hand as you inhale shakily. He looked over, raising a brow, but it made sense that you were so scared. He liked it, the thought of the fact that he scared you this much that you’re falling right into his arms.

“Y/N? You alright?” He whispers as you look up at him, gasping when you see the cut on his lip.

“Wh-What is that? On your lip?”

He felt panic settle in as he self consciously licked his lips, humming with a shake of his head. “I was sealing a letter for class,” he laughs awkwardly, shaking his head. “It was… it was stupid, I started bleeding all over the place. But you… you don’t seem okay.”

He was the first to notice, and oh did it make your heart swell and skip a few beats. Your other hand finds his as you lean into his chest, shakily exhaling a breath as he pulls you closer. “I’m not.”

Ethan smiled into your hair before standing up, everyone else easily falling asleep during the movie after surviving through a real life horror film. “Do you want to come to my room? Or go to your house?”

In all honesty, nothing sounded better than going to his room and being fucked so hard that you couldn’t even remember that night. Except, maybe, going to your apartment where you could get railed so hard you wouldn’t remember anything either. Besides, not everyone had to hear you begging for another round when Ethan would surely pass out after seeing your pussy.

“Can we go to my house?”

Ethan nods quickly, hiding his smile as he pulls you out of the apartment after you grab your bag. You held his hand tightly, jumping at every small sound before you both got to the street of your apartment and a black figure made you stop in your tracks.

A whimper fell from your mouth as Ethan rolled his eyes, of fucking course his sister wanted to get rid of you tonight. But, it’ll work in his favor anyway. “Y/N, get to your apartment.”

“What?” It was like you were frozen, your hands gripping his as Quinn starts to make her way toward the both of you and he starts to push you up the stairs.

“Go!”

You do as he said, quickly running up the stairs while calling 911, Quinn quickly stopping in front of Ethan. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

“I’m about to get fucking laid!”

Quinn pauses, taking off her mask. “So that’s why you couldn’t kill her? Because you’re pussy whipped?!”

“Would you shut up?!” Ethan groaned, straightening when he heard sirens coming. “You need to go, but do something so that it looks real.”

“I have no arguing with that, you pussy whipped mother fucker.”

It was just a small cut on his collarbone because Quinn would probably feel bad about it later, but after quick interviews with the police and your hands holding his tightly, it was almost done.

“Can we go now? Don’t you see that he’s injured?” You asked the barraging officers who sigh heavily.

“Is there really nothing else you can think of?”

“No, nothing,” Ethan says, inhaling sharply. “I don’t feel good, though, I want to leave.”

“The paramedics offered to take you to the hospital-”

“For a few stitches?” You scoffed. “I’m a med student, I can get that done here. We’re leaving.”

You were quick to pull him up the stairs and unlock your apartment door, pushing him down onto the couch. “Take off your shirt.”

He was quick to obey, taking off his shirt as you go to the restroom and bring out a large container of what seemed to be medical supplies. “Is it deep? Can you tell?” He looks down, attempting to stare at his collarbone making you giggle. “Not what I meant, honey.”

His cheeks get hot as you kneeled down in front of him between his legs, getting a good view of the cut before taking out a large wrapped gauze. “It’s not too deep, doesn’t need stitches. Let me just clean it up.”

“Y/N.”

“I mean, unless you want stitches I could probably-”

“Y/N.” You looked up, Ethan smiling down at you as he slowly pushed his hand through your hair, pushing it out of your hair. “Don’t worry about me. What’s wrong with you?”

You inhaled shakily as he smiled down at you, his perfect shining smile as you shook your head. “D-Don’t worry about it-”

“Y/N, I’m worried about you,” he says, shaking his head. “I want to know what is going on. You know that I’ll protect you.”

You stared up at him as you finished putting on the gauze, pushing your hands onto his bare shoulders and sitting in his lap. He swallowed as you hugged him tightly, inhaling shakily. “Promise?”

Ethan hugged you back tightly, nodding into your neck. “I won’t let anything happen to you, ever.”

It was a promise and he meant it. You pulled away with a smile, pushing back his hair. “Thank you, Ethan.”

He hummed, nodding as he leans into your touch with closed eyes, exhaling deeply. “I’ll do anything for you.”

“Oh yeah? We’ve gone from arguments to this, darling?” You teased him, curling your fingers in his hair as he nodded.

“Always wanted to be like this with you, just didn’t know how to.” He mumbles into your neck, Ethan’s hands pushing into your shirt as he tugged softly. “C-Can I take it off?”

You hummed, nodding before the words rang back in your head. You inhaled shakily, and it was as though Ethan knew what you were thinking. “Y/N, I promise, I’ll do anything… anything to protect you.”

You nodded, raising your arms so that he could pull off your shirt. His mouth pressed wet, open mouthed kisses to your skin, sucking and biting against your skin as you inhaled sharply, humming. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

He pauses, smiling up at you. “I’m doing good then?”

“Well, you’re kissing really nice.” He laughed as he stood, going down the hall and attempting to open the door. “One more down!”

He quickly moved down again, opening the door before setting you on the bed. He watched as you quickly repositioned yourself, legs wide as you started stripping easily. Ethan quickly followed, his dick slapping against his lower stomach as he starts to crawl onto the bed before you press your foot onto his chest.

“You need to behave, Landry.”

“Behave? Baby, you don’t like it when I behave.”

You laugh as you let your leg fall against the bed, legs spread widely with a brow raised. “Well then, don’t. But you better be good at misbehaving, Ethan.”

He swallowed as you pushed him down so that his face was hovering over your pussy, your clenching cunt that was basically dripping with arousal. “Y-Y/N, I’ve never… I’ve never done this before.”

You tilted your head down at him. “You’ve never eaten someone out before?” You knew he was a virgin, but this much of a virgin?

He shook his head, making you giggle. “I-I can… I can try.”

“You’ve never seen a porno where the guy eats the girl out? Come on baby, I know you have.” You stroke his cheek before pulling him closer, dragging your thumb along your lips. “Or do you want me to do the work and you just take it? You seem like someone who’d like doing that.”

He swallowed as you raised a brow.

“Well, are you going to answer me?”

“I’ll sit back and take it, Y/N,” he leaned forward to lick a firm line against your aching cunt. “I’ll take everything you give me.”

You giggle as you help him lay back against the pillows, humming as you hovered over his face. “You’re going to lull out your tongue for me,” you say, watching as he does as you say with the slight tilt back of his head. “And then…” you move your body so that you could kiss him, sloppy and wet to make his mouth filled with your spit before pulling away. You giggle, kissing his nose before hovering over his mouth.

“You can use your fingers too. I’ll tell you if you’re too rough.”

He nodded, moving his hands to slowly press and rub against your cunt and clit, humming. “Y-You’re not going to sit down?”

You paused, giggling. “Are you… are you sure? I don’t… I don’t-”

He inhaled, shaking his head. “Y/N, darling, I might be a virgin, but I’m not a pussy. Sit down before I do it myself.”

You hummed, raising a brow. “Do what yourself?”

His hands go to your hips, forcing you down into his mouth as he lulled out his tongue. You gasped as he forced you to roll your hips into his mouth, eyes rolling back as you slowly humped against his face. You groaned out as one of his thumbs rubbed circles against your clit as his pointer finger slowly rubbed against your entrance, his tongue flickering and lapping.

You groaned loudly as you held onto the top of the bed frame, whining as you tried to go faster. It almost reminded you of humping your pillow when the thought of a dildo repulsed you, even this time riding his face was definitely better than that. You whimpered above him, throwing your head back. It was mind blurring, pleasure filling your body and making sparks run up your spine and your stomach twist.

You whimpered as he slowly pushed a finger into you, his other hand steadying your hips from shaking as you continued to thrust into his mouth.

He pushed another finger into you, his tongue pushing inside of you with another finger. His tongue laps and sucks against your clit, spit and your slick rubbing against his chin and around his mouth as he forces you to press lower against his mouth before giving a firm slap to your ass.

You yelped, releasing your weight onto him, making him pull you down closer and his teeth graze your clit. Your eyes rolled back as he lifted his head, attempting to get as close as he could to your cunt making a loud whine leave your lips.

Ethan couldn’t stop, not when your pussy was so fucking addicting. That’s probably what made you cum going on four times on his tongue, hips shaking as he forced you to stay on his tongue. His fingers didn’t stop thrusting into you, tongue flicking against your swollen clit as your eyes rolled back, tears falling down your cheeks. Your stomach was burning as Ethan humped the air, the hand on your hip leaving bruises against your skin.

“Ethan, Ethan! Ethan, please!” You were whimpering above him, imprints from the wood in your skin as he pulled away, his nose brushing against your clit before he pulled away.

“What? Do I stop? Am I not doing good?” He asked immediately, almost worried before you laughed, thighs shaking as you started to lift yourself up.

“Ethan, you’ve made me cum almost four times, and you think you’re doing bad?” You quickly flop onto your back, humming as you spread your shaky thighs. “Let’s see if you know how to make your dick work like your tongue.”

He gulped, taking his hand across his mouth to gather the wetness before looking down at his cock, cum dripping out of the tip. You looked down, letting out a soft giggle. “You came from eating me out?”

He smiled. “How could I not when your pussy is that fucking good?”

His words make you blush as he kneeled down in front of you, humming as he pressed his tip slowly into your entrance. Your eyes rolled back, whimpering from overstimulation as he rubbed his head up and down your slit. “Hm, when you want to be, you can be good.”

You gasped as he pushed into you, whining loudly as your hands held his shoulders before he bottomed out with a quick thrust. You were basically knocked out of breath, gasping for air as he leaned down to press a firm kiss to your lips. “Behave, my love, and I’ll give you what you want.”

You nodded, immediately arching your back as he started to push into you, head thrown back. “F-Fuck, I’m going to cum just like this, fucking hell Y/N. Y-You’re still so hot and w-warm, holy fuck!”

Your eyes rolled back, legs wrapping around his waist as you pulled him down. “Holy fuck, are you sure you’re a virgin?” You whimpered into his ear, letting out a soft giggle as he laughed breathlessly.

“Guess it’s good that you’re asking that, right? I’m fucking you good?” He grunted, groaning loudly as his hips snapped forward, thrusts sloppy and rough.

“E-Ethan, stop,” you whimper, shaking your head. “We got time, baby, don’t rush it.”

“W-Was that not good? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he mumbles before you shake your head, pushing back his hair.

“You don’t need to go rough right off the bat, ease into it,” you shakily roll your hips, moaning. “G-Go slow… then get faster.”

He whimpered, nodding. “B-But, what if it’s not enough? I-I want… I want more.”

You hummed, rolling your hips up into his own. “You can get faster, but don’t be sloppy, it hurts.”

He nodded, holding your hips, getting faster as he whined. The thrusts made your eyes roll back, mouth falling open as he kissed against your neck, whimpering. “Fuck, fuck! Fuck, it’s so good, your pussy is so perfect. A-Am I doing good, am I making you feel good? Fuck baby, I feel so fucking good, your pussy feels so good around me.”

You gasped, nails scratching down his back. “Yes, yes! Yes, I feel so good, fuck, I’m close! I’m close, Ethan!”

He grunted, his thrusts getting rougher in a way that wasn’t painful as he lifted up your hips to hit a whole new place inside of you that made your eyes roll back and a loud scream fall from your lips. Your mind blurred, vision going dark as he moaned loudly into your neck, gasping for air as his eyes rolled back.

You could feel his cum spurt inside of you, filling you up in the deepest spots inside of you before he pulled back a bit to watch your tummy start to bulge. He rubbed against your tummy, sitting back on his knees. “Can I go again?”

You laughed, nodding. “Yes, you can.”

He leaned down, pressing his lips against your neck before whispering, “I’m going to protect you with everything I have. No one will ever touch you, no one will ever take you from me baby.”

You whimpered, nodding against his neck. “Promise?”

“I promise.” And he will hold that until his death bed.

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[butterflydm]

The Queen of Attolia (plus some WoT comparisons)

Haha, it's been a few months but I got my chance to read the next book in the Queen's Thief series and it was so good! I am going to have two sections in this review -- my overall thoughts and then some specific thoughts that are mostly for @markantonys due to the series being her recommendation and I have a lot of thoughts about the comparisons between the Queen of Attolia x Eugenides and Mat Cauthon x Fortuona, because you can really do a point by point comparison, though I don't think it was intentional -- I think that Megan Whalen Turner and Robert Jordan were both going for the same idea but Turner was, imo, wildly more successful than Jordan at it.

But first, thoughts that don't particularly relate to The Wheel of Time:

We open with a tense cat and mouse chase between The Thief and the Queen's guardmen and that is really the heart of this book when it comes down to it -- a cat and mouse game between two extremely complicated people, and how they have to navigate in the world that they share.

Turner is really good at writing these fun action scenes where you're very much in the PoV of the character.

The (apparent) foundation that is laid here (that later gets overturned because Gen got to me again and he was once again acting on personal information that he kept from me for the majority of the book, lol, love him for it) - is very much beginning as enemies who have respect for each other's skills. At this point in the book, I knew that they would end up married due to spoilers and I know that it's considered a good romance, so I was really looking forward to seeing the journey, especially since I did get spoiled about the huge upcoming traumatic event.

But we start from this strong narrative place where they are aware of each other and have respect for each other but they belong to two separate counties that have some political tensions and they are both important parts of those countries and can't set that aside.

Because of how bold Gen is, Attolia has been backed into a corner by his actions and we actually see this affirmed by Gen's cousin (the Queen of Eddis) and her thoughts on the matter -- she is aware that Gen going into Attolia's country to spy on her is a dangerous thing for him to do.

And then the cutting off of his hand. This is brutal, and it feels brutal, and then we also get these hints of Attolia's reaction afterwards (that we get into more later) but especially her reaction when he begs her not to hurt him anymore and you can really see her feel the impact of what she did. She doesn't allow herself to show her remorse but even this early on, we're getting hints of it as readers.

Then when Gen goes home, we actually see that the Queen of Eddis also maintains a mask in public, just like Attolia does, so we see another hint here that Gen understands that kind of masking. Eddis looks just as cold and impenetrable to Attolia's guards who return Gen to her, as Attolia looks to everyone else.

I really appreciated how long the recovery time was after the loss of Gen's hand and how much time we spent with him to feel him get used to the changes (and how economically Turner is able to pass that time). We get these tiny looks at Attolia as well, and her difficultly sleeping at night, which we expand on later.

Then we get the return of the Magus from Sounis! It was really nice to see him again, dropping in to visit Gen, but he's also here to give us that continuation of the division between personal and political -- as a person who genuinely likes Gen, the Magus was upset about what Attolia did to him, but as the advisor to the king of Sounis, he knew that they would be able to use Eddis's reaction to Attolia's act on the political stage.

But what a way to learn that the two countries are at war!

It takes some time for Gen to really believe that Eddis went to war over him, and we see him processing that over the course of the book as well, and they talk about it more. I do think that Gen does not always realize how deeply other people care about him.

Turner really is so good at giving us these pieces of information that reframe the earlier story -- now we know that during all those snippets of Attolia that we had earlier, she was also dealing with realizing that her actions with Gen led to the war that she's currently embroiled in.

The progression of the war was really well done (again, Turner is very economical with her narrative here), with what details she chooses to focus in on, and we see that Gen, even though he has gained more of an ability to have that cold and impassive mask like Attolia has, still does things like make sure that no one is on the ships that he's destroying, because he doesn't like getting people killed.

Turner also does a really good job showing how destabilizing the war is to all three countries involved, and how the war is hurting everything.

We take a little mythology story break here in the narrative, which was a fun story about love and choice, both of which are very relevant. This story definitely does end up applying pretty heavily to Gen and Attolia in the themes, and I like the style that Turner tells these stories.

I love how perceptive Gen is once he's been apprised of the situation and we get to see the thought process that leads to him blaming the emperor's ambassador more for the loss of his hand than he does Attolia herself, because he sees that ambassador understood that seeing Gen maimed and returned to Eddis would be more like to spark a war than just killing him would, and a war is exactly what he needs in order to try to justify getting his troops onto Attolia's land. All the politics here are pretty complex but I feel like the book does a good job explaining the reasoning.

And this is also the point where it's really confirmed that Attolia knows that the ambassador is underestimating her, and that she also understands a lot of the things that he thinks that he's pulling over on her. But because of the fragile position that she's in, she needs to entertain the ambassador's advice and his attempts to sidle in on her country.

Quote about Gen: "It was like him that if he had to have a thing, to have the fanciest thing of its kind."

I really like all this about the cost of war; the price of war; and why this outside party has been trying to urge war on the three countries.

We also get Eddis admitting to Gen that she thinks that she could have possibly controlled herself and not started a war if he had only been killed, rather than treated in a way that she finds so insulting, and that it made her so angry that she made a choice that had now brought a lot of damage to their own country that she wishes could be avoided. And Gen can see, basically, that the ambassador of Medes is the one who put both Eddis and Attolia in this trap, and he was used as the tool to start this war.

We really move into Attolia's PoV and we get the story of the broken amphora (she thought about it when she saw Gen after she'd had his hand cut off) -- it was, essentially, the moment that marked when her life changed and she couldn't be a young girl anymore.

This really is a heartbreaking story -- how after her brothers died and she was the heir, her father essentially sold her off to be married, and her fiance was actively plotting against her father and how to suck her country dry for his own benefit after they were married. And how she kept herself quiet and small and just listened, but then poisoned him at their wedding feast, also having her captain of the guard kill the next man who tried to force her to marry him. We also see here that she only trusts loyalty that she can buy in gold (because every other kind of loyalty failed her).

Then we finally get the big reunion! This scene is so tense, with both Attolia and Gen wearing these cold masks (we later realize that Gen has pretty much directly modeled his mask on Attolia's) and we get this private negotiation that is only for the two of them. And this moment when it is literally just them, together on a boat, with no one else to interrupt them... just exquisitely done.

It's been implied before, but this is where we get our confirmation that Attolia has been just as haunted by Gen this entire book as he's been haunted by her. They've been separated for most of the book but constantly haunted by each other. I gotta share the quote:

"He was too young to have bones that ached. No matter what he thought of himself, he was hardly more than a boy. A boy without one hand. She reached up to push the wet hair out of her face, wondering when she had sunk so low that she had begun torturing boys. It was a question she had asked herself night after night, lying awake in her bed or sitting in a chair by the window watching the stars slowly move across the sky."

We've been seeing her do those things the entire book, but this is the first moment when we're told what she was thinking about in those moments.

We also get our Big Revelation here that Gen has had feelings for Attolia since before the events of The Thief! How does he hide these things from us so well! Gen! We learn here (and we get even more detail later) that he's been feeling drawn to her for literal years. That part of the reason that he made those trips that she thought were mockery was because he wanted to be close to her and get a look at her and see if she really was the monster that their spies reported that she was, or if she was just a woman who was being forced to make difficult, maybe impossible choices.

And then we get our story reversal where Attolia gets 'rescued' by the ambassador and his people, and we get to see how she behaves in these circumstances where she doesn't believe that she can trust Gen (sure, he said he loves her, but she cut his hand off! And he's a known liar! how can she trust him?) vs this dude that she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she absolutely cannot trust.

The moment when she tells her handmaidens not to put on her golden bee earrings, I knew exactly what she'd done, especially when we got Gen's reaction. The writing doesn't have to tell us in the moment what's occurring (that she put on the earrings that he left for her one time and that she said she would only wear if she'd decided to marry him) for us to know, and I love that. This coded sign that only he will understand.

It's the most unique and fascinating marriage proposal I've ever read. Well done. Haha, and I did guess that the gray-haired man that he fought so well with was his father. <3

Love the moment when we see him process that marrying the Queen of Attolia is going to mean... that he'll be the King of Attolia. He just wanted to marry her because he liked her! <3 <3

And everything after that was just so delightful. Working together for the double-cross and then the process of Eddis and Attolia working out the treaty and Eddis trying to convince Gen that they can have the treaty without the marriage, and his rejection of that, and then essentially testing Attolia with that offer as well.

I also really like one of the moments when Attolia realizes that she can trust Gen, which is when Eddis tells her that of course Gen also lies to her. Constantly. And I feel like that reframed a lot of her interactions with Gen for Attolia. Realizing that Gen wasn't being maliciously deceitful towards her; he's just Like That With Everyone. Plus, I can't forget the moment when, after the battle is won, Attolia and Eddis return to where Gen is being held and Attolia believes for a moment that he's been poisoned as a parting shot by the Medes ambassador and we can literally watch as her heart completely shatters and she is completely undone and devastated in her head and even shaken where people can see her. It's beautifully written.

And we get the moment with the gods (who are very real in this series but very carefully choose how they interfere) and it's just as well done as it was in the first book. The windows in the palace shattering as the goddess responds to Gen's sacrifice! And basically laying out to him that his suffering was required to reach this ending and would he trade it back if he could -- if it meant that Attolia would have been forced to make that deal with the Medes ambassador. And Gen would rather have Attolia in his life and wanting to marry him than have his hand back.

Just that whole final section that leads up to the ending of the book, with Attolia really being able to believe Gen when he says that he loves her... it's so good. How the narrative (and Eddis and Gen) are able to tease out Attolia's feelings for Gen, and how we end on that final quiet moment between the two of them. Really powerful ending.

It's a really good book and it's a really good romance. Gen and Attolia are both fantastic characters and even with all the twists and turns and revelations, their relationship felt incredibly captivating and believable. I really believe that Gen wants to break through Attolia's walls and, just as important, I feel like there's a person on the other side of those walls who is worth being loyal to and loving. You understand why Gen wants to be Attolia's husband, even after she ordered his hand cut off, which is very impressive storytelling.

Hopefully I'll get the chance to read the The King of Attolia soonish, and not in, like, four months.

*

And now onto the Wheel of Time/Mat & Tuon comparison section of the review for @markantonys 💖

It really does feel like a point-by-point improvement on Mat & Tuon, though I suspected unintentionally (it looks like this book came out 3 years before CoT).

Starting with the characters: wow, Attolia really is so much the person that I would have wanted Tuon to be. And she feels like the person that Jordan wanted readers to believe that Tuon was. Every place where I was going through my WoT reread and going "footage not found!" about something the narrative tried to claim about Tuon is something where the footage is very much found for Attolia. While Tuon's potentially heartbreaking backstory really is just backstory and ends up have zero impact on her active storyline, Attolia's tragic backstory is the entire spine of what her character is going through and what Gen can help her with.

We get to see and really experience Attolia's context, which is not something that we got with Tuon. Jordan makes an attempt, I guess, with Karade's sob story about Tuon and the doll, but he made the bizarre choice to frame this story in Karade's PoV (Tuon's slave), not from Tuon's PoV. For whatever reason, Jordan always insisted on making Tuon the most insufferably smug person in the world in her own PoVs.

With Attolia, we get those breaks in her mask that I kept desperately wanting us to get with Tuon but we never did. Again, this is mostly only for the reader, not even for Gen -- the reader gets to see behind Attolia's mask. And so Attolia is captivating and fascinating and I understand why she felt like she had to do these horrible things.

With Attolia, we actually get her being removed from her power base and feeling helpless, which Jordan never had the guts to do with Tuon (when Mat kidnaps Tuon, he lets her take her slave along with her, and then some of his allies decide to support Tuon over him despite having zero narrative or character-based reason to do so), which means that when Attolia regains her power, it has a much bigger impact on the narrative, while it felt like Tuon never really lost hers. Attolia and Gen both manage to be scrappy underdogs, in their own way, and that's something that Tuon never was.

Both Attolia and Tuon commit horrific acts, but while we see Attolia's remorse and how it torments her, Tuon always seems to shrug off the horrible shit that she does. It doesn't ever affect her emotionally and she never seems to think past it after it's done. She is a character without remorse or reflection (I think she vaguely thinks that it's a shame one time when she's pondering how she will break Mat's spirit but that's about it). And Attolia has those two qualities in spades. Attolia feels like a real woman to me in a way that Tuon never did. We see the brave face that she puts on, we see her regret and remorse, we see her loneliness, we see her jealousy over the Queen of Eddis, who is able to trust the members of her court in a way that Attolia has never felt she could trust her own. Tuon just feels really shallow in comparison to Attolia.

Even in the first cat and mouse scene with Attolia and Gen in this book, you can see the push and pull and the narrative equality of the characters. Gen has been in and out of four different strongholds of hers, and she feels that he's pretty much taunting her with his abilities. There's a mutual respect for the other person which was one of the big things that was missing for me with Mat and Tuon. In her final PoV in KoD, we learn that she has not had an ounce of respect for him during this entire journey -- it's not until she sees how the Band respects him that she considers whether or not there may be more to him than just being a pretty and dumb sextoy. And the big problem with that is that was the period when the 'romance' was being developed. During the time when she didn't have any respect for him as a person. And that makes it very difficult to find their relationship compelling, even apart from the fact that I found Mat himself profoundly unlikable in CoT & KoD.

Now, Mat being a terrible person (in CoT & KoD) and Tuon being a terrible person (always and forever) are not things that would stop me from shipping them in general. I am capable of finding Awful4Awful pairings compelling (like Louis and Lestat from Interview with the Vampire). They don't have to be good people, but there has to be something in the relationship that grabs onto me at any level, and that's where Mat and Tuon failed.

We can see in Attolia's thoughts that she envies the relationship that Gen has with the Queen of Eddis -- she envies that loyalty and wishes she could have something like that of her own. That sort of envy was also missing from CoT & KoD (I am going to mention, briefly, that some of these elements were present in the Mat & Tuon relationship in AMoL but at that point, it was just too late for me to give a shit about their relationship, because CoT & KoD thoroughly killed any interest that I had in them). Whether because of his own personal kinks or because of the plans that Jordan had for the Outriggers, Jordan made Tuon too much of an island; too much of an wall. The way he wrote her made me feel like nothing Mat could do would ever really matter to her in any way; that she was content to use him up and then throw him out and that's just not my thing. It may have been Jordan's kink but it is not mine.

So I definitely understand @markantonys's point about this feeling like a well-written version of Mat and Tuon! It really does feel like this is the sort of relationship that Jordan wanted to write with Mat and Tuon but didn't have the skill at romance writing to pull off. Something like Mat and Tuon is Hard Mode Romance and Jordan wasn't even always good at Easy Mode Romance.

Two of the key elements that really makes Attolia and Gen work for me is just getting to sit and exist in Attolia's emotional reactions to the wrong that she has done to Gen; and Gen acknowledging and processing the harm that she'd done. And both of those things were desperately needed with Mat and Tuon, both as characters and as a romance.

A major major part of why Mat and Tuon failed for me is because I didn't feel like Mat was actually reacting to her realistically for the vast majority of their page time together; she threatens to invade a city and he laughs it off, she assaults his companions that he freed from slavery and he thinks it's hot?!?, she talks about how she likes to torture women and he ignores it.

If Tuon had cut off Mat's hand, the way that Attolia cut off Gen's, it feels like Jordan would have just had Mat shrug it off and then buy her a puppy as a reward or something as his response. Here, we get Gen begging Attolia "please don't hurt me again" after she cuts off his hand and then we have months of separation and recovery and processing before the narrative takes him anywhere near her again. And Attolia is forced to reckon with what she did, first by being haunted by the memories of him crying from the pain and loss, and then she has to face it directly by seeing his stump, seeing the pain that he's still in (because of her). She has to admit (not just to herself but to him) the damage that she did before they can move forward together. This is something that Tuon never shows herself capable of on any level. Tuon is never allowed to grow as a person the way that Attolia is, or to be vulnerable with the audience or with Mat.

I definitely still really felt the Mat-Gen comparison in this book too. Lots of places, but there's a great moment in the meadow with him, Eddis, and the Magus, where Eddis explains that Gen has deliberately made people believe that he can't fight but he also still gets miffed sometimes if people fall for his carefully constructed facade.

And the moment when Gen tells Eddis that he plans to steal the Queen of Attolia. It really feels, again, like this is the sort of vibe that Jordan wanted us to believe existed between Mat and Tuon: "She may be a fiend from hell to make me feel this way but even if I've got to hate myself for the rest of my life, this is what I want. I dream about her at night." This intense draw and this pull that he feels towards her. Jordan appears to want us to believe that Mat feels this kind of draw towards Tuon at the end of KoD but has not created any kind of foundation in Mat's characterization as to why.

We also got the long separation between Attolia and Gen where they are haunting each other with their absence. Attolia and Gen just get the time that is needed to develop this relationship in a way that's believable. Time in the story, not page time. This book is shorter than CoT & KoD, and probably shorter than if you made a "Mat and Tuon" novella out of their scenes in those books. It's the actual 'in world' time that matters, that gives Attolia and Gen time to think about each other and miss each other in a genuine way.

For another comparison -- Gen 'steals' Attolia to marry her like Mat kidnaps Tuon, but the context is so incredibly different on every level. Mat gets, essentially, tricked into kidnapping Tuon by the 'finn (it never would have happened if he hadn't heard that prophecy) while Gen acts with intention the whole way through. Technically, in both cases, Gen and Mat are 'saving' Attolia and Tuon by kidnapping them, but we feel the weight of it with Gen and Attolia in a way that we don't with Mat and Tuon. And a lot of that is because the bulk of Gen and Attolia's build-up happens before the kidnapping, during the times when they're separated and haunted by each other. So once the kidnapping happens, it's quick-paced and moves the plot forward rather than, you know, just fucking around with a circus for a month.

We also know that Attolia has complicated feelings about Gen already. I talked about this with @markantonys but that really is something that needed to happen with Tuon so much sooner than it does in the books (there are two big Mat & Tuon scenes in AMoL that desperately needed to happen back in CoT, imo -- Tuon trusting that Mat isn't trying to kill her; and Tuon going wild trying to protect Mat in the command tent).

Attolia and Gen also genuinely have things that they can each offer the other person, while with Mat and Tuon, none of the things that Tuon offers are things that Mat actually wants (slaves bowing to him; being dressed up like one of the Blood; being formal at all times - these are things that some of Mat's fans want for him, but not things he wants for himself) and she just feels like this ravenous black hole that constantly takes and takes and takes and gives back nothing of value. When Gen is startled at the realization that marrying the Queen of Attolia makes him the King and he'll have to actually be a king, it's this incredibly sweet moment, because it illustrates so clearly that he wants Attolia for herself and not her country. When Mat reacts against the idea that marrying Tuon makes him royalty, it just kinda makes him look dumb, because we've been given nothing of value in Tuon herself as a person, and no reason for Mat to care about her.

With Tuon, Mat talks about how she's better than other nobles, but nothing she actually does on the page is better than any other Seanchan noble. It's all 'footage not found'. By contrast, every single positive thing that Gen says about Attolia is backed up by the text and we even get shown additional positive qualities that no one needs to talk about because it's right there in the text.

With Tuon, it feels like Mat is attempting to gaslight me (and himself?) into believing that an interesting character exists there despite all the evidence against it, while Attolia simply is a compelling character based on what happens on the page.

That fact that there are so many raw similarities between the two pairings, but my reaction to them are so different really does illustrate the importance of execution, imo. Attolia and Gen's romance manages to travel so much further than Mat and Tuon's, while also being considerably more economical with how many pages it took to get us there.

The point-by-point comparison (aka WoT's failure of execution):

Tuon's interior life is poorly illustrated in comparison to Attolia's; because she starts off as an even worse person than Attolia but so much less character work is done on her than on Attolia, who is haunted this entire book by how she has "sunk so low as to torture boys" (on that note, Turner's choice to make Gen the younger and more openly vulnerable one really works here).

Seeing that Attolia's handmaidens are genuinely affectionate and protective of her at the end of this book is so incredibly touching, because she had no expectation of their loyalty (she believes in the loyalty of gold, and gold alone, for the most part). Tuon, otoh, has slaves that she expects to be subservient and loyal unto death, so her slaves' affection for her (that was trained into them) is something that completely fails to move me. This difference in the expectations of the character also makes a huge difference in how their PoVs come off -- Attolia's walls are due to her internal vulnerability and we get to see that vulnerability in her PoVs; while Tuon comes across as full of herself and incredibly arrogant, taking everyone around her for granted.

We're told that Tuon is smart and perceptive but rarely get any evidence; while Turner shows us Attolia's intelligence and how she sees a lot more than people like the Medes ambassador believe that she does. We get to see Attolia's intelligence in how she tricks the Medes ambassador into believing that she's so much less perceptive and intelligent than she truly is. This is another place where Jordan's unwillingness to ever place Tuon into a genuinely vulnerable position really hurt the character. Turner wasn't afraid to make Attolia the underdog and knew that it wouldn't undermine her as a character, it would strengthen her, because we would get to see who she was in adversity. The set-up of Crossroads of Twilight should have led to us seeing Tuon in adversity but Jordan was allergic to allowing her to be truly vulnerable, and gave her people to hide behind (Selucia & Setalle Anan) the entire time.

Mat as an agent of chaos is wildly downplayed in comparison to Gen as an agent of chaos. The Seanchan end up getting spared the chaos that the end of the Age brought to pretty much every other society, even though Mat seems clearly positioned to bring their society crashing down even as late as Winter's Heart. Gen's actions, otoh, are constantly throwing other people's plans off.

Mat does not behave realistically to the horrible things that Tuon says and does -- with Gen, even though we find out towards the last third of the book that he was already in love with Attolia before the book begins, we still get his raw reactions to her doing things that hurt him. He has nightmares after she orders his hand cut off, his pained begging of her not to hurt him again, and how he develops his own mask of impassiveness that is modeled on her own. Gen also never throws away his moral code in order to try to force himself to be at peace with the relationship -- he grows and changes as a character as a result of his trauma, but he stays himself at the core.

Something else that Jordan could have used more in the books that would have helped develop an understanding of why Mat believes that something exists beyond Tuon's 'cold Empress mask' would have been to make the comparison between Rand's mask and Tuon's mask more clear in the narrative. Because there's too much separation in time between Rand and Mat's interactions with Mat and Tuon's interactions. In this book, seeing that Eddis also needs to put up a queenly mask of not caring about Gen at first (in front of the Attolian guards when they return him to her after his hand has been cut off) helps illustrate why Attolia needs the mask that she uses -- Eddis doesn't trust the Attolians, but Attolia feels like she can trust absolutely no one, and so she always needs the mask and feels like she can never take it off. That's compelling! It could have been compelling in Tuon too, if it had been written better.

On that note: Turner personalizes the damage that Attolia's cold mask and her ruthless defense of herself/her country is doing by having her hurt Gen directly, and that being something that she struggles with over the course of the book. With WoT, Jordan basically did everything he could to hide away the damage that Tuon/the Seanchan were doing from Mat in order to try to justify why he could ~fall in love~ with her (was it intentional? to set their relationship up for a fall later in the Outriggers? we'll never know) without ever actually changing Tuon/the Seanchan for the better, which also meant giving Tuon no reason to have any internal struggles over the choices that she's made.

Gen and Attolia get another thing that Mat and Tuon desperately needed but that Jordan refused to give them: privacy. They negotiate getting married (after Gen has kidnapped Attolia in a much more narratively satisfying kidnapping than Mat and Tuon's!) in privacy, just between the two of them; when we get the conversation about their feelings at the end, again it happens in private. That makes a huge difference. Jordan being unwilling to ever actually yank Tuon away from her full power base and her slaves was a huge hindrance to ever allowing her to be vulnerable. And I do chalk this up to unwillingness and not failures due to plot set-up because there is no good reason to have Selucia tag along on the kidnapping and then it's even more bizarre in CoT & KoD, when the character of Setalle Anan goes from being fond of Mat to all of a sudden acting like he's the worst person in the world and she must protect poor helpless baby girl Tuon from him.

Both Attolia and Tuon get tricked by their respective love interests about who they are as a person because of the facade that they put up, but Attolia still has respect for Gen and his skills, even as she doubts his character, and it is Gen's own actions that show her who he really is and make her believe in him; while with Tuon and Mat, she spends over a month with him and still refuses to look past his surface until she literally has her face rubbed into it by seeing the Band's reactions to him. This difference is a key one in making Attolia's failure to see Gen as a failure due to the protective walls that she has up; while Tuon's failure comes across as her just not being very perceptive or intelligent. And the fact that we don't get the moment when Tuon begins to have even the faintest shred of respect for Mat until the end of Knife of Dreams just meant that I felt even more like all the pages time that Jordan spent on the two of them in CoT & KoD was a complete waste of my time.

We got to have genuine reactions from all of Gen's loved ones about the relationship! This is a huge place where, I guess, Sanderson is the one who failed for a change instead of Jordan because wtf was Perrin's "lol you married now bro? haha" reaction to Mat being married to a slaver? Though Jordan also does this to a certain extent with Thom, who we are supposed to believe is in love with Moiraine, and yet who never calls Mat out on courting a woman who would enslave and torture Moiraine if she had the chance. By contrast, Eddis is genuinely hesitant and worried because of everything they've heard about how cold Attolia is, and because she's the reason that Gen's hand was cut off.

We get to see Attolia and Gen develop a shared language and see behind each other's walls. The moment when she wears the earrings that he left for her, and he knows that it means she's chosen to marry him of her own free will is such a huge and impactful moment, and the only people who are aware of what it means are Attolia and Gen! This is really a failure that happens based on earlier failures of execution: because Mat and Tuon are never allowed to be alone together, it's impossible for them to develop this kind of shared coding and shared language.

12. We also have the 'footage not found' issue, where one of the characters (mostly Mat) tries to tell me something about Tuon but the narrative completely fails to back it up: this is the case with Tuon being intelligent and perceptive (in the narrative shown to us, she never picks up on anything until her nose is forcibly rubbed in it); and this is case with Mat thinking near the end of Knife of Dreams that Tuon belongs in the same 'better than other nobles' bucket as Talmanes when she has never shown herself to be willing to make better choices than other Seanchan nobles: he is still, at this point, worrying that she might enslave him and turn him into her cupbearer; she has not only threatened but actually assaulted his companions; whenever she's placed in a position of power over other people, she takes advantage of it and them. We're told that she's not a child but she also throws a tantrum (and pottery) at Mat at the start of Crossroads of Twilight. This could have worked if Jordan had leaned into the fact that Mat is deliberately lying to himself in order to make his marriage bearable, but that's where things like randomly having Setalle Anan go over to Tuon's side messes with that narrative.

13. When Jordan has Mat think about how Tuon dying would be a deep loss to him, it's just baffling because she has not done a single thing the entire 'courtship' that has shown why in the world Mat would feel that way. All of the attempts at reaching out during the courtship are Mat's, while Tuon just smugly accepts it as her due. Because Attolia doesn't just accept Gen's love as her due, because she actually doesn't believe him and challenges him on it, we get to hear his justification of it and why he feels that way, and then we also get to see her reciprocation. The relationship is a two-way street in The Queen of Attolia.

14. Which ties into the fact that Jordan chose to make Tuon not just a slaver but an enthusiastic slaver who enjoys the slave-breaking process and that is an incredibly dark place to start a character but it could have worked if it had been the beginning of Tuon's character arc and we'd actually watched her change and grow from that position. And she had the narrative set up for it! In her very first chapter, the reader learns that Tuon has the ability to learn to channel! She was created with the narrative juice to have a compelling arc about accepting the truth about herself and her people. And then Jordan gave that arc to Bethamin instead, lol.

15. In both of these stories 'fate' does kinda serve up Gen/Mat to Attolia/Tuon on a silver platter, but the execution of the storylines makes the reveal that fate was acting to push the two of them together so much more effective in The Queen of Attolia. Choice is a much larger consideration in Attolia and Gen's relationship than it is in Mat and Tuon's. There are elements of the higher powers of the world at work in both relationships, but Attolia and Gen have to put in the work themselves and have to face hard emotional truths in order to get us to the satisfying ending. I get the impression that Tuon wouldn't know an emotional truth if it spit in her eye. We actively see both Gen and Attolia consider and reject the idea of solving their main problem (about the war) without needing to get married; we see them choose their marriage and each other.

With Mat and Tuon, this is a lot more muddled. Fate/the Pattern/the 'finn want them to marry each other but we never get any kind of payoff as to why, and this is primarily because of Jordan's other storylines imo. He should not have had Rand already willing to make peace with the Seanchan in his separate storyline. Convincing Rand to be willing should have been Mat's job (because that also would mean that Mat would need to make the arguments to convince the readers). Jordan showing at the end of KoD that Rand is willing to make a deal with the Seanchan, even at the cost of giving in on the matter of slavery, basically completely voided any narrative reason for Mat and Tuon to get married, but without the satisfaction of seeing the two of them grow to a place where they would actively make that choice rather than being motivated by what they believe is necessary (due to prophecy).

There really were the bones of a potentially compelling story with Mat and Tuon, and I really do hope that the show (when we get there) is able to take those bones and turn it into a genuinely compelling story.

#the queen's thief #butterfly reads tqt #butterfly book club #wot book spoilers #a memory of light #wot #wheel of time #seanchan cw #wot meta #my wot meta #irene of attolia #eugenides #mat cauthon

[sparrowsoupp]

so a ‘swiftpaw lives’ au is nothing new here BUT hear me out:

in this au, everything happens as it does in the first arc up to the night where swiftpaw and brightpaw sneak out of camp to fight the dogs. as they are leaving, cloudtail somehow sees/hears/notices and is obviously suspicious so trails them into the forest secretly.

as they get closer to the dogs’ den he realises their plan and confronts the pair, trying to get them to return to camp. swiftpaw is defiant and argues back, escalating into a fight as cloudtail tries to physically knock some sense into swiftpaw. brightpaw looks on in horror trying to break up this fight. this is obviously not a very quiet battle, considering the participants are two bullheaded teenage boys, and so the dogs are woken up anyway.

swiftpaw leaps into action as brightheart freezes in paralysing fear. as a dog lunges at her, cloudtail notices and leaps into the dog’s jaws, pushing brightpaw out of the way in the process. in a burst of fear and strength, brightpaw notices swiftpaw unconcious and unable to move with a missing leg and grabs him to run away, escaping from the dogs and leaving cloudtail to bleed out and die (hence the main catalyst for differences in this au: cloudtail dies in swiftpaw’s place). she doesn’t realise this at the time, hoping cloudtail will understand since he is still up and fighting, and not thinking about the consequences of leaving one cat alone to fight a pack of dogs.

bluestar renames them in the same way lostface was named in the original arc, brightpaw being renamed lostface and swiftpaw being named dogleg, and fireheart is ANGRY with the pair (and himself) for the needless loss of his nephew’s life. no renaming ceremony is held, and they are made to keep their names in rememberance of their foolishness. (sidenote: i think this would also spark a major shift in fireheart’s good nature and personality, leading to MAJOR knockon effects for the rest of the series, but i haven’t thought about it too much yet and also i need to reread the books) and because cloudtail isn’t around to advocate for lostface’s warrior retraining, she is relegated to be a medicine cat and never really emotionally recovers in the same way she could in the books because cloudtail isn’t around to offer her that emotional support. she also very much blames herself for letting him fight a battle that he never signed up to fight and dying in the process, the overwhelming levels of guilt weighing on her constantly to the point where cats are a little creeped out by how empty even her remaining eye looks.

on the other hand (paw?), dogleg is left seething with anger and bitterness towards his clan. (i imagine him after the attack as a somewhat ashfur-like character, except much more extreme) a lot of his toxicity and anger would be taken out on lostface, one of the only cats he talks to anymore, and instead of brightheart and cloudtail entering a very healthy and positive relationship instead lostface ends up in a secret (VERY toxic) relationship with dogleg. she remains attached to him i think because of the trauma they experienced together. i have to think more about that, though. (maybe even kits?)

in the end something something dogleg forces lostface to start poisoning food as the clan’s medicine cat to take revenge on other cats like bluestar or fireheart. i think this culminates in dogleg turning very traitorous somehow.

that’s what i have so far! feel free to sends asks/tag with suggestions or ideas of knockon effects of this change. thanks for reading this big ol paragraph of me rambling about cats lol, appreciate y’all 🦭👍

#it’s soupin’ time #furry artist #furry art #fanart #warrior cats #warriors #warriors au #warrior cats au #brightheart warrior cats #swiftpaw warrior cats #brightheart #swiftpaw #cloudtail #swiftpaw au #warrior cats fanart #warrior cats art #warrior cats designs #warriors designs #warriors fanart #brightheart fanart #swiftpaw fanart #brightpaw #comissions open

[uptoolateart]

Analysis of Adrien - S5 up to Ep 9

I am loving Season 5 so far, and having caught up with all the latest episodes aired in France, I’m more excited than ever.

So, let’s talk about Cat’s behaviour in ‘Elation’. If you’re like me, you were near-screaming at the Marichat kiss - even more so when Cat broke it off, then Mari was akumatised, and then there was more kissy-kissy-meow-meow (my new favourite phrase in life). Their kiss was right out of ‘Amelie’, by the way – adorable. And against a backdrop of a Statue of Liberty, as if reminding us that they’re not yet free.

More than just teasing the audience, Cat’s response was so in character. As Adrien, in ‘Determination’ he told Kagami that he’d started seeing Marinette differently in ‘Puppeteer 2.0′. We can go back even further, to ‘Troublemaker’, where Marinette had her chance to confess her feelings but chickened out and claimed to be just a fan. In fact, every time Adrien says she’s ‘just a friend’, we can substitute this with ‘just a fan’. He’s not oblivious - he’s careful.

Because of Marinette’s explanation for the photos on her wall, Adrien didn’t take her feelings seriously (and, I mean, how surreal must it be to have a friend with a fangirl crush on you?). This is evidenced in ‘Puppeteer 2.0′ when they’re in the car on the way to the museum and he tells Manon that they’re just friends. But it’s clear that his feelings are all mixed up, because he then worries deeply about Marinette possibly not liking him. Then he poses as a statue and she kisses him - and he jumps away.

At the time, we weren’t told why he reacted this way. We never got to see his thoughts when he lay in bed that night, no doubt running it over in his mind again. But we did see a future timestream in ‘Cat Blanc’ where the moment Adrien learned Marinette loved him, he was deliriously happy and told her he’d always felt there was something more than just friendship between them and now he finally knew why. We also saw him stare at her with her hair down and call her beautiful, in ‘Heart Hunter’. Then Kagami pushed herself on him and Mari was suddenly with Luka, and Adrien had no time to sort out his feelings. When Kagami kissed him, he was confused and said he wasn’t ready. He then took a step back from the girls while he tried to sort through his Ladybug problems, which shifted in ‘Glaciator 2.0′ - and the moment he began to evolve for the better was when he listened to Marinette’s love confession for Adrien. It was clear on his face that he was seeing her with new eyes.

By the time we reach ‘Determination’, his admission to Kagami tells us he has loved Marinette a long time but been waiting for her to give some indication that she feels the same, so he can clarify those feelings in his heart. I’ve said before: he’s a celebrity, used to being chased down by fans and receiving declarations of love from plenty of people who don’t know him. As long as he thought Mari was ‘just a fan’, he couldn’t allow himself to open his heart to it being more. But it’s all reached a point where he can’t hide it anymore.

As an aside, I loved the line Kagami gave him about needing to look in a mirror and figure himself out...because ‘kagami’ is Japanese for ‘mirror’.

I also loved the parallel of ‘Determination’ with ‘Frozer’, with Luka and Kagami there again, now pushing a different relationship.

Getting back to Adrien: I think that kiss in ‘Puppeteer 2.0′ was nearly what he needed to see Marinette as a love interest - but she dodged it again. It was almost the permission he needed to think of her as more than ‘just a fan’. He pushed her away because he liked it but needed to sort out his feelings...and, more importantly, because he knew he was tricking her and felt he was taking advantage of her.

Let’s jump back to ‘Elation’, when Cat kisses Marinette and then pulls away, yet again. His reasoning is that he’s behind a mask - he knows who she is but she doesn’t know who he is, and he doesn’t want to take advantage of her. He wants to kiss her but doesn’t want to steal that kiss. It has to be fair, honest and open. She just told him she no longer loves Adrien, so he has to be thinking if she knew it was him, she might not want him kissing her. He did the right thing.

When he says she doesn’t know who he is, again this is all about the idea of fandom. From his perspective, she’s just told him over and over and over again, ‘I’m a super, super fan.’ It’s no accident that earlier in the episode, Adrien was shown running from crowds of fans both as himself and as Cat, and getting infuriated by it. In both guises, he’s a celebrity. He wants someone to love him for him, and Marinette once again made herself ‘just a fan’ in his eyes. Of course he can’t pursue that.

The painful irony is that he has no way of knowing that the whole reason she now loves him as Cat Noir is exactly because she’s finally seeing him for who he truly is. She knows him better than he realises. But how to reveal that without sharing her identity? Alya was right - this stuff can’t work unless they can be wholly honest with each other. I maintain that Ladybug needs to tell Cat about Cat Blanc, if they’re ever going to move forward.

His face, though, when Andre just flat out told him Marinette had been in love with Adrien all that time.... All these years waiting for her to get those words out, and they were finally dropped so simply. This house got LOUD, over that one! You just know Adrien spent the whole night looking back over every single crazy exchange with her, reframing all of it and thinking, ‘Oh my god, is that what was going on!?’ And Marinette doesn’t even know this is in his mind. Now we have Adrien knowing things about her that she doesn’t know he knows, just like she knows about Cat Blanc. Like...what can I even say??

Amazing.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous fandom #MLB #mlb fandom #mlb theory #ml thoughts #mlb thoughts #ml theory #ml meta #mlb meta #miraculous meta #ml fandom #mlb season 5 spoilers #mlb s5 #ml season 5 #mlb season 5 theory #adrienette #adrien x marinette #miraculous ladybug adrien #ml Adrien #adrien agreste #miraculous marinette #marinette dupain cheng #mlb marinette #marichat #cat noir #ml cat noir #mlb cat noir

[canmom]

reading Brainwyrms by Alison Rumfitt. it's interesting. clearly part of the post-Topside wave of trans lit, with the same 'plugged in to twitter' energy, but way more British about it. which means most of the allusions are very transparent to me. it's a combo of... hardcore kink driven romance as the main arc, in a near-future setting in which TERFism goes further to the point of outright bombings, and a scifi element with alien brain parasites that it's gradually building towards.

compellingly written, I'll give it that for sure - I lay down to read for a bit and before I knew it I'd read like a third of the book. the main character's disaffected, traumatised air is well observed, and the kink doesn't hold back.

I think my reservation with it so far is that it feels a little too much like a polemic blog post about the way things are going. the MC Frankie is a trans woman with a pregnancy kink who survived a bombing at a GIC and now works in social media moderation - it's all stuff that is blatantly Relevant To The Argument, as it were. it's tricky to criticise it for that because it's like, what you're saying is that it's tightly constructed and thematically consistent and that's bad somehow? but I think I've come to feel that I like fiction to bring me something a little new and unfamiliar.

the chapter I most enjoyed so far was actually a more metaphorical, abstract interlude, in which resistance to fascism is cast as becoming 'one mass of queer flesh, which now grabbed and clawed...'; 'faces locked in kisses until they became one face. the cops would try to pull at this mass, but to no avail'. very 'faggots and their friends between revolutions' stuff.

the chapters which are presented directly as social media posts and articles are also sharply observed. i think a lot of fiction in which the internet features heavily suffers from not understanding the internet very well (Hosoda's Belle for example), but for example the chapter 'Curious Cat' where an anonymous person (blatantly Vanya) is sending messages asking for help with a parasite, and getting rebuffed or misunderstood, and the chapter where Frankie relates a murder of an instagram model by a stalker who posts about it to a reddit community devoted to her, read as very real.

a lot of the story is about responding to a terrifying political situation in sexual terms - a flashback chapter depicting Frankie having sex with some terf's pretentious brother ("with each thrust from him, she thought to herself, I am a traitor, I am a traitor to the cause"), or the preface which jokes about how in another world the author would be writing 'cool horror stories about vampires raping werewolves, ones with no subtext at all'. I prevaricate a little on whether this is a compelling examination of a theme that I do find interesting (the mysterious origins of sexual desire) or just edgy for its own sake.

this is an odd novel for me in some ways because while on one level, this is about people who I could very easily be a single degree of separation from were they real, it's also about a facet of life that is still quite alien to me and in many ways I only know about second hand. I've never been to a kink club (that wasn't in an MMO anyway lol), I'm way too much of a nerdy autist shut-in to know what it's like to be someone who would feel put out if she hadn't had sex in a week. so even before the parasite stuff, it's hard to know how much of Frankie and Vanya's stuff is real, and how much is fantasy. is this really how things go between people? it sounds kinda fun, but unlocking the door this far has already taken years.

when I've read books about the crazy lives that American trans girls supposedly live and interesting sex they're apparently having, they've been at a certain remove, the other side of the Atlantic. and this book feels sort of similar, even though I know it's set right on my doorstep. idk, I've never been good at this.

anyway I don't think I want to write fantasy novels so directly about The Discourse of the day, but it's probably good that someone is. that said, it's hard to parse like... ok, it's titled brainwyrms, and 'brain worms' is a common way of describing an obsessive, cultish idea you receive from the internet.

and like if you look at the newspapers, or twitter trans discourse, you certainly could believe that this country is on a rapid slide to putting us in camps. however, my day to day life has been... it's not without hostility, but the average street harasser isn't doing it because of a Guardian or even Mail article. this country has a subculture of deranged weirdos who hate our guts, and a political class who will happily stoke culture war shit to score points, but most normies I've met don't care one way or another that I'm trans - they might mention a family member or friend they know who's also trans. the day to day conflicts are over way more prosaic shit, the landlord vs tenant forever war, or how the kitchen should be cleaned. which of these windows is more informative of the 'overall' state of affairs? not that a more violent terf cult is a bad premise to write a novel around, but a sense of impending doom is a pretty powerful mechanism to keep you scrolling, right?

like in 20, 40 years - will the terfs really be bombing the Tavistock and banning transness, as Rumfitt imagines in her near-future setting preface? or will they go the way of those newspapers in Thatcher's time who smeared the gay movement, just as they smear us today? of passing political obsessions like 'new atheism'? I don't know the half-life of cult shit.

anyway, time to read the rest of the novel, and see how it handles this brew that it's concocted.

#fiction #sff #novels