#and bc of this he hoped he would die young bc if he did people would remember him as having so much potential

[thepersonnamedsam]

carlos‘ song - cs55

pairing: carlos sainz x fem!reader

summary: you wrote a song about carlos

word count: 1.2k

warnings: angst, mentions of death, anxiety, sad stuff

note: i have been obsessed with carlo‘s song lately and i just had to write something for carlos, bc obv carlo‘s - carlos

masterlist / taglist

Standing on the rooftop of this bar in Madrid, your short hair blew in the cold air. Apparently it’s not just any bar, the bar is placed on a fire tower.

The sun was just about to set and you tried to keep your hair under control. „You know, I liked it more when it was long.“ Carlos looked at you with his big brown round eyes and it reminded you of a deer caught in a headlight.

„Oh really?“, you grinned. When you two first met you were only 12 years old, little best friend of Isa. You never taught you would one day stay on this roof top with her brother.

„Yeah, do you remember drinking in the parking lot? By the trail head? Yeah, I liked your hair that day.“

You felt heat rush to your head, you blamed it on the cold. „Okay, I can grow it out long, if you’d like that?“

You only just moved back to Madrid. Ida was supposed to pick you up from the airport but instead there stood a bright red Ferrari with not Isa but her brother Carlos instead. And he didn’t take you to his sisters, no he treated you to a drink on the fire tower.

Only the good die young was playing on the speakers.

„You know, I never understood what Billy Joel meant with those lyrics“, you thought out loud. „Didn’t you just study english literature?“ - „Yeah, and?“ Your eyebrows raised at him, silently questioning his thoughts.

„Like, aren’t you just supposed to know what he meant with his lyrics?“

„I mean, I have my own meaning, but it’s ridiculous.“ - „No, please tell me, because I always laugh at the lyrics“, Carlos said.

„I mean, obviously in the first verse he wants to have sex with virgin catholic girls. And ‚only the good die young‘ you can argue about that - young people who die didn’t deserve it, therefore they were good. Or old people aren’t good anymore, or many more.“

„Not ridiculous“, he smiled. „Huh?“ - „Your meaning of the song isn’t ridiculous, not in the slightest.“

You smiled, hard. Carlos was an interesting man and you wondered what more grew under that perfect skin of his.

„I think we are going to be good friends, Carlos“, you told him. „You think so?“, was his answer. You nodded and grinned at him.

Over the time you grew closer together, Carlos showed you parts of Madrid you only remembered vaguely from your childhood. But the distance of his job hurt more and more. You knew what a relationship with him meant. You knew only too good, heard Isa over the phone crying over missing her brother.

But the days he spent in between were the best you ever experienced.

„I want a big house out in the open. Where the sun always shines and all the light gets into the house!“, Carlos gushed. You were laying on the couch together and planned how your future would look like if money didn’t matter - not that it did anyway.

„Whys that?“, you asked him. „I don’t like the way my skin feels when it’s not shown on by the sun. I like the warmth, never liked the cold, brrr“, his arms snaked around your upper body and shook it like you were freezing.

Your laugh was heard throughout the apartment. Carlos grinned at you, his skin warming with the sound of your happiness.

„Why don’t you like the way your skin feels without the sun?“

„It makes me feel like I need to escape my own body. Like I don’t belong, it just feels wrong.“

„Well I hope you can escape your skin with me“, you smiled at the man you were falling more and more in love with.

But you still never went to a grand prix with him. And when he asked you why, you came up with a new excuse as not to.

You started to pick up more work, started to work over the weekends. You had less and less time to call Carlos over the weekend, making him question your feelings for him.

Until it happened. It happened on a Saturday at FP2. It was quickly over. You only heard about the incident the next day, as you wondered why Carlos didn’t start.

Isa called you. 48 seconds. That’s how long the phone call lasted. The news shattered your heart. Broken into millions of pieces. You couldn’t believe it, no, Isa was definitely playing pranks with you.

You fell, you fell deep into a hole. A hole you never knew you sighed it yourself. Deeper and deeper. Until Isa visited you. She brought you his clothes he still had at home. She brought his necklace that he was about to gift you. His initials graved into the back of the pendant.

But still, everyone who started talking about him being gone, you shut out. You shut them right out, because in your mind he was still alive, he was still racking and he was winning.

But the reality was none of that. And reality hit you, it hit you hard. His memorial was held at the end of the season. And Isa asked you to talk about him. You had to admit he was dead.

„I can’t do it, Isa.“ - „Please, you were his everything, he talked so much about you! Did you know he had been crushing on you since he was 16?“

„Did you set us up? The day you didn’t pick me up from the airport and instead sent him?“

Isa looked at you, just like Carlos had when he was caught doing something he shouldn’t have. This big brown eyes. Glistening with mischief - it was something that all of the Sainz family possessed.

„You caught me“, she shamelessly shrugged with her shoulders and smirked at you. „It was time? He was pining on you for so long, but you were away studying and he was so sad, I had to do it, it was his only chance!“

His memorial was beautiful, the whole grid present. Charles and Frédéric spoke about his time at Ferrari, Lando held a speech about their friendship and Isa sung a beautiful song. She still tried to convince you to speak, but you just couldn’t.

Isa and you still regularly talked to each other. She was doing good, better than her anyway. You almost never talked about Carlos. You weren’t bringing him up, neither did she.

The one thing Isa told you was: „Grief is just love letting go. It’s okay to let go.“

You almost cried - how could she say that like it was just spilled milk?

„Look at yourself, when’s the last time you cut your hair? You always kept it short, but now?“

You did visit him at his grave. Brought flowers and letters for him to read. Eventually you wrote a song. A song to remember him - Carlos‘ Song.

And one day you stood on a stage, at the bar they had their first date at and sung Carlos‘ Song.

Isa was there, smiling up at you and filming the whole thing. „I’m going to show it to my parents“, she smiled.

And you knew Carlos was smiling down on you and kept you alive.

°°°

@ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @biglittlesecret , @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21 , @youkissedareaderinthedark , @mikauraur , @thybulleric , @lpab , @fdl305 , @mellowarcadefun , @teti-menchon0604 , @vildetry06 , @bibissparkles , @aurora-maria , @lunnnix , @sya-skies , @Buckywifeyy , @dakotali , @rechtrecht , @noncannonships , @1eclerc16 , @pitlanebabe , @sopheeg , @avengersheart , @thatsadsmallchild , @peachiicherries , @idkiwantchocolatee , @callsign-scully , @mehrmonga , @badbatch-simp24 , @lissyontour , @din0nugs , @elliegrey2803 , @gay-for-victoria-de-angelis , @10vely-yutazen , @daggersquadphantom , @azriel-the-shadowsinger , @i-love-scott-mccall , @darleneslane , @mikauraur , @heartmetaphor , @darleneslane , @ellswilliams , @thxtmarvelchick , @nataliambc , @dontjudgeabookbythecover , @hockeyboysarehot , @thehistoryone

#f1 x reader #formula 1 #f1 #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz angst #carlos sainz fanfic #formula one #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #Spotify

[redriotinggg]

I need anyone who genuinely dislikes Usopp to take a long look in the mirror because yeah, he can be a bit annoying at times but he is honestly a good and interesting character!!

He is just as loyal as any other member of the crew and fights the strongest when he’s fighting on someone else’s behalf. (See: him fighting for Sanji in Skypeia, fighting for Robin at Eneis Lobby, fighting for Luffy in Dressrosa, fighting for Tama and Nami in Wano.) He is a major player in so many of the battles in the series that it baffles me that people can think of him as an unimportant member of the crew.

And Usopp is a fucking genius??? Hello???? He’s able to make weapons powerful enough to create storms and tornadoes. He is canonically a jack-of-all trades that supports the crew in their daily lives and in battle. The Going Merry only lasted as long as she did because Usopp was around to care for her. He was the only one to see her Klabauterman!! Usopp is not only creative and fun but is able to bring those creations to life, whether it be his drawings or his gadgets, and I think that’s so beautiful. I miss pre-TS because of all his inventions we got to see.

Let’s not forget that Usopp is so, so kind!! He made friends with the kids in his village and told stories to Kaya to help her feel better when she was ill. He fought to protect her and Syrup Village from Kuro. Personally, I will never get over filler ep on Fireworks Island (ep. 134) where he cheered up Kodoma and encouraged her to continue her pyrotechnics, assuring that her parents were proud of her. Knowing he also lost his parents at a young age makes the scene hit that much harder. (And again, he showed his genius by figuring out a way to launch the firework that killed Kodoma’s parents!!) It may not be canon to the manga but but I think that episode is super accurate to his character.

What I think makes him the most interesting is that we see his flaws and mistakes more than any of the other Straw Hats. We see his insecurities in Water 7 and his fear in Dressrosa. But we also see him growing and learning and being encouraged by his crewmates. Aside from Robin, I think Usopp has changed and grown the most out of the Straw Hats. With his goal to become a brave warrior of the sea he has so much potential for even more growth!!

Like I said earlier, some people think Usopp is annoying which he can be sometimes, but that’s also because he’s literally comic relief. And he does so well at it bc he’s actually so damn funny?? He makes me laugh out loud all the time. One Piece wouldn’t be even half as funny without Usopp.

I also appreciate that as an individual he has so many moments with the other Straw Hats. There are a lot of relationships that don’t get explored as much as we’d like, but I think we get to see Usopp’s friendships with the crew pretty often. He fights for Luffy, plays around with Chopper, teases Zoro, is teased by Robin, gossips with Nami, hangs around Sanji, and his whole relationship with Franky has so many layers to it.

Aaahh, I have so many hopes for Usopp in the series that I pray will be fulfilled!! I want him to have a badass arc in Elbaf full of character growth. I want to see him develop and continue to use his Haki (which he gained when trying to save Luffy are you KIDDING me). I want his reunion with Yasopp to be emotional and bittersweet. If he could personally beat Yasopp in a fight I would ascend to the heavens.

Usopp is such an important, complex, and interesting character and I absolutely hate to see him reduced to being a gag character or the weakest member of the Straw Hats. He may not be a monster but he is amazing and I love him.

TLDR; if you disrespect Usopp I wish you a very Die.

#usopp #god usopp #one piece usopp #op usopp #HE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME #anyone who disrespects usopp is a FOOL and BLIND and doesn’t deserve anything #he is so important to the series why won’t you guys get that #fellow usopp truthers hear my cries!! we will give our sniper the respect he deserves #one piece #strawhats #red’s ramblings #op meta

[tycarstairs]

ready to fight for my life for ty blackthorn when twp is released because the way people are already infantilizing and patronizing him bc he’s autistic is so….

no one asked for this but i’ve seen a lot of people have weird takes on his autism so as an autistic woman i need to clear some things up ok 😭 so buckle up, this is gonna be a long one (seriously, it’s long)

the main arguments i’ve seen are: (i’m paraphrasing here btw)

“ty didn’t cry when livvy died but he did cry when kit said he wished he’d never known him so it’s clear that he does love kit.”

and

“ty clearly loves kit because he cried when they argued and it’s hard for autistic people to cry.”

and

“ty gets on my nerves because he didn’t react at all when kit told him he loved him”

like. i do get what you’re saying (with the first one. not the second one, that’s a stereotype, and also not the third one bc that’s just weird), because it does show that ty cares but like. obviously? all his actions before that showed that he cared too.

saying “he cried when him and kit fought but not when livvy died” just comes off as acting like he’s more upset about kit leaving and insulting him than he is about kit dying and that just rubs me the wrong way.

i know this is not common knowledge but autistic people often have delayed processing, especially when we’re grieving because it can be so overstimulating and even when we do grieve, it’s not gonna look the same as when an allistic person grieves.

so, delayed processing:

delayed processing in autism is where you are recording/aknowledge events as they happen, however that information is stored elsewhere in the brain and isn't taken in.

once the brain is ready or has capacity the information is suddenly taken in. this could be hours, weeks, days or even months later.

an example (from justkeepstimming_ on instagram):

An autistic person whose mother died at quite a young age. At the time, when his father was grieving, it did not appear the autistic son was upset.

However, one year after his mother's death, he suddenly processed that she was gone (permanently) and only then started the grieving process.

that example is pretty much exactly what happened with ty in qoaad.

partly, ty didn’t cry when livvy died because he didn’t accept that she was dead. he was so sure that he was gonna bring her back and for a long time, he probably didn’t even consider the fact that he might fail.

after livvy dies, kit says this:

“Everyone had been terrified. Ty would fall apart, they’d thought. Kit remembered Julian standing over Ty as he slept, one hand stroking his brother’s hair, and he’d been praying—Kit didn’t even know Shadowhunters prayed, but Julian definitely had been. Ty would crumble in a world without his sister, they’d all thought; he’d fall away to ashes just like Livvy’s body.”

if ty were allistic, he probably would have reacted like this immediately. and he does react like this eventually when his brain fully processes that the ritual didn’t work, that livvy is actually not coming back:

“Livvy!” Ty didn’t scream the word so much as it was ripped from him; he curled up, hugging himself, as if desperate to keep his body from shattering apart.”

this is when ty actually processes that his sister is gone. so saying, “ty didn’t cry when his sister died but he cried when him and kit fought” as if it’s some really romantic thing that he was sadder about kit leaving than livvy dying (which is not true) is just iffy because it’s such a stereotype and a misconception that autistic people don’t seem to care at all when people die, and way too many people from this fandom are feeding into that so much.

and ty does show is grieving throughout qoaad but because it’s not in the allistic way, a lot of readers don’t recognize it.

(i was actually so positively surprised to see that cassandra clare, an allistic woman, wrote the grieving process for an autistic character—and everything else about being autistic tbh—so well but it gives me so much hope for twp)

for example, autistic people (this is obviously not all autistic people as all autistic people are different but i'm just listing the signs i've seen in ty in qoaad) when they're grieving might show their grief gradually in more subtle ways by hurting themselves, emotionally or physically, which ty does do:

"The only person he was unkind to, Kit thought, was himself."

and we also see in gotsm that ty is continuously punishing himself because he is still grieving. livvy is simultaneously there and dead, and ty has to live with both the grief of her death and the guilt of her being stuck as a ghost.

there's also the fact that kit observes that ty starts keeping secrets and doing things alone, which is also common when trying to process emotions that haven’t fully caught up yet:

“In the past days, though, since Julian and Emma had woken up, Ty had been harder to find. If he was working on something, he hadn’t included Kit in it—a thought that hurt with surprising intensity.”

like. ty is pulling away because he is trying to process everything that’s happening. him excluding kit is very likely a symptom of some kind of delayed grief because it’s very unlike him to exclude kit from anything, as we can see when he says multiple times outright that he doesn’t want to do things without kit.

just because it’s more subtle than breaking down into tears doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel it at all. it’s more likely that he simply feels too much and is shutting down because of it.

and of course his grief is gonna be subtle when he hasn’t even accepted and processed the fact that she’s dead yet.

and yes, he cried when kit told him he wished he’d never met him but that is so different because there was no room for denial. kit told him that word for word, the processing wasn’t delayed this time because there wasn’t really that much to process.

ty truly believed right away that his only friend wished he had never known him, and when livvy died he didn’t accept that she was dead. those things are different and pitting them against each other is weird.

so, onto the second argument/misconception i’ve seen that:

“ty clearly loves kit because he cried when they argued and it’s hard for autistic people to cry.”

this is a misconception stemming from the stereotype that autistic people are emotionless. yes, some autistic people might have a harder time crying because of shutdowns etc. but generalizing it to it’s hard for autistic people to cry is just wrong, especially because this has never been implied about ty in the text.

in fact, it’s the opposite:

“Ty heard everything twice as loud and fast as everyone else. The headphones and the music, Kit sensed, were a buffer: They deadened not just other noises, but also feelings that would otherwise be too intense. They protected him from hurt.

He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to live so intensely, to feel things so much, to have the world sway into and out of too-bright colors and too-bright noises. When every sound and feeling was jacked up to eleven, it only made sense to calm yourself by concentrating all your energy on something small that you could master—a mass of pipe cleaners to unravel, the pebbled surface of a glass between your fingers.”

so implying that it’s harder for ty to either cry or feel sad is just wrong. kit notes that “every sound and feeling was jacked up to eleven”, and this includes ty’s grief. him not crying when livvy died has nothing to do with how much he may or may not be feeling and everything to do with how delayed his processing was.

and the third complaint of ty is frustrating because he didn’t react when kit told him he loved him.

first of all, i don’t know if it’s my autistic ass not understanding allistic people but is it not normal to be in shock when someone tells you they love you in the middle of a necromancy ritual???

and second of all, this scene from city of heavenly fire where julian says “i know it’s hard to understand, ty, but we love you” like it’s supposed to explain their actions and ty reacts like this:

Ty looked at him blankly. He knew what “I love you” meant, and he knew it was good, but he didn’t understand why it was an explanation for anything.”

ty looking at kit blankly in surprise in qoaad is not him “not reacting”, it’s him trying to process 1) what that has to do with anything and 2) why that would be an explanation or an argument as to why ty should stop the ritual.

(it is probably also partly because ty thought kit had feelings for livvy at this point but that’s just speculation so i won’t get into it now)

to kit, this was probably his way of saying that because he loves him, ty can stop the ritual and kit will help him with the aftermath.

to ty, kit’s confession made no sense in that moment because why would kit loving him mean that he should stop the ritual? and this was most likely also the moment when his grief was really starting to kick in, so that just adds to it.

yeah idk if anyone made it to the end but as you can tell, i have a lot to say and i’m tired of people romanticizing ty’s grief.

#this is so long i’m sorry #sick of fandoms infantilizing neurodivergent characters #ty blackthorn i will always defend you #i’m putting my english degree to good use #the dark artifices #ty blackthorn #livvy blackthorn #the wicked powers #kit herondale #kitty #kit x ty #shadowhunters #actually autistic #twp #cassandra clare

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (04)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, the word "dick" is mentioned a few times lol, jeon jungkook (yes, bc at this point he's annoying even to me), yoongi is a menace, oc is fighting with everybody asdfgjkl girl 🙄, inaccuracies about music making !! and i hope obs readers aren't music majors bc that'd be really embarrassing for me lol, idk i think that's it

rating: PG-15

word count: 16.3k

note: a major thank you to @daechwitatamic for beta-ing this for me and for doing it so fast!!, you are a gem ily jo 🥺🥰 aaaaaand omg yeah! i can't believe the duck is here. he's finally here!!! ah we love to see it hehehehe :') it feels fitting that obs4 is the one to close off 2022 <3

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Ask your new lover what it's like to be given A real fighting chance before you wish her, "Good riddance,” Did anything ever really count Or was I just a two-year practice round?

Before - NIKI

Ah, the grand opening of Jimin’s own dance studio. It’s been in the works for a while now, ever since he quit his job as an instructor at that fancy academy downtown. 

When you arrive at the venue, the event is already in full swing. You would’ve come sooner, to see Jimin before things get too hectic and more people would want to steal him away to say their congratulations. You could’ve come sooner, had you accepted Jungkook’s offer to drive the both of you here. It’s the less time-consuming option, and one that’s more environmentally conscious, but you didn’t want to be left alone with Jungkook – not after what Namjoon had unintentionally revealed to you – in a space where you couldn’t force him to just talk about work while Jimin went to mingle with his guests, and Taehyung couldn’t get off work any earlier than 6:30.

You have to hand it to Jimin. He really went all out for this. The venue he booked looks amazing, and so much bigger than you expected, but that’s probably to accommodate the shit ton of people he invited tonight. There’s catering, cutesy party favors, and most importantly, an open bar that you absolutely would die for. Bless Jimin and his excessive spending heart.

Although, the photographer that he got for tonight can’t exactly be considered great. He looks young, maybe early 20s and still hasn’t learned how to lose the attitude yet, just walking around with his hefty camera and looking like he has a stick up his ass. He’s definitely being underpaid. Jimin must not have taken this factor into account until he had already exceeded his budget.

“Oh, Jiminie,” you mutter to yourself like a mom whose child just won the school talent show, making a beeline for Jimin and pulling him into a hug, not caring that he’s holding a flute of champagne that could’ve easily spilled onto you. “Jiminie, I’m so proud of you. I know how hard you’ve worked, and you deserve this so much. I love you. You’re going to be amazing.”

Every single syllable that slips from your lips is genuine. You’ve seen how passionate Jimin is, and you know how long this has been a dream of his. In your eyes, he deserves the absolute world and more.

You kiss his cheek to emphasize the meaning behind your words. You’ve never been the sentimental type with your friends except for rare occasions like these. On birthdays, you're not the one to shoot them the first happy birthday! text at 12AM on the dot, nor are you the one to plan surprise parties and go all out on extravagant presents.

You have your own way of showing your friends that you love them without any grand, tacky gestures. You like to think that you’re a good friend, and you hope they think that too.

But… you feel guilty today. You feel guilty for even toying with the idea of not going just because you didn’t want to face Jungkook in a setting that wasn’t the studio. When Taehyung asked if you had gotten the invite and you couldn’t confirm your attendance right away, he looked at you like you were out of your mind. He looked at you like Why wasn’t dropping every single one of your plans not the first thought that comes to mind when you received the text. Because this is Jimin you’re talking about. One of your closest friends. The incredulousness on Taehyung’s face that night made you feel small because really, you were being selfish.

After the breakup, you repeatedly assured Taehyung that he should still be friends with Jungkook, though the petty part of your brain wanted nothing more than to have Taehyung cut off all ties with your ex and tell him to go shove it.

If you weren’t in the picture, they still would’ve bonded the way they did and developed that kind of brotherly connection. Just because you and Taehyung were closer doesn’t mean that he and Jungkook weren’t close. They were close throughout college, and it had nothing to do with the fact that one was your best friend and the other was your boyfriend. That’s why you weren’t particularly fond of making Taehyung lose someone he considered family, even if that man did stomp on your heart to hell and back.

You just had to make it crystal clear to Taehyung – and Jimin by extension – to not put you and Jungkook in the same place ever again.

And that’s exactly what Taehyung and Jimin have been doing these past few years. Birthday parties, nights out and celebratory dinners multiplied by two to keep you and Jungkook separate. It was like you were strangers who never knew each other existed. Different worlds that can’t ever collide. You all got used to this certain arrangement. It works out for everybody: You don’t have to see your ex, and Jimin and Taehyung get to keep their friend. If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

The barrier that you forced between you and him worked, but sadly it did put a strain on Taehyung and Jimin’s wallets. You were always a group of five though, until Hoseok moved abroad the very week before college ended. He didn’t even attend graduation. That summer, you weren’t the only one left heartbroken. Hoseok’s parents had turned a 180 and decided to make him pursue another degree to take over the family business instead of continuing to let him follow his dreams, which have always been music and dancing. When he broke the news, you all gathered around and cried together. You were beyond upset for him; you knew how Hoseok shined the brightest when he got to do what he loved.

Since then, he only comes back a couple of times a year. Every time, you would all try and make the most of it, wanting to relive those college days that you cherished so much. But during each of these visits, there is always something bittersweet that you think you all could feel. Because Hoseok wasn’t a constant in your lives anymore. The five of you were thick as thieves. You were there for each other through every high and every low. It’s somber to think that you will never have that ever again.

Hoseok wasn’t there to personally witness what the breakup did to you, but you were certain that he knew about it. Taehyung and Jimin must have told him at some point. You don’t think you’ve ever had a proper conversation with Hoseok about how your relationship with Jungkook ended. He only visits as seldom as it is. You don’t want to spend every reunion wallowing in misery, or make everything about your baggage when everyone has their own shit to deal with.

“Shit, Y/N, why are you being sappy?” Jimin mutters as he blinks at you, eyes glassy, all shy and adorable when he sniffles. “You’re gonna make me cry.”

It isn’t until then that you notice Jungkook standing next to Jimin, having watched the whole interaction with an identical champagne glass in his hand and a small smile on his face.

“Hi,” he says, even though it has only been a couple of hours since you last saw each other. 

You send him a nod, merely to acknowledge his presence. Taehyung pulls Jimin into a hug of his own too, swaying him from side to side like they’re in their own little world. 

You can feel Jungkook’s gaze on the side of your face but you keep your eyes trained on Taehyung’s back, watching your two friends be dramatic and goofy and happy.

When you deem that they’ve had their fun, you tug Taehyung back by his jacket. “Okay, that’s enough, lovebirds. You’re acting like you don’t see each other every other day. Stop being so clingy.”

“No!” Jimin swats your hand away but lets his friend go regardless. He’s smiling so big that his eyes have turned into narrow slits, pearly whites on full display, cute pinchable cheeks turned rosy from the champagne and euphoria. “Do I look weird? I feel like I look weird. I can’t stop smiling.”

“You don’t look weird,” you say, booping his nose affectionately then ruffling his head of blond hair. “You look perfect.”

Jimin blushes, which makes him even cuter. Then his eyes light up when he spots someone behind you. His hand shoots up to wave the person over to your table as he calls, “Hobi hyung!”

Hobi– what?

You and Taehyung turn around, four eyes flying wide open.

Slapping a hand to Taehyung’s chest, you gasp. “Holy shit. Did you know about this?!”

“No! I’m as shocked as you are!”

Hoseok skips the pleasantries. He just grins brightly and yanks you and Taehyung into him, crushing you two in his hug as he shakes you enthusiastically. When he lets go, he kisses both of your cheeks. He diverts his attention to Jungkook then, yelling out Jaykay! so loudly that people turn to look. He does the same thing to Jungkook as he did to you, enveloping the younger man in a very Hoseok-esque embrace.

“Hobi!” you squeal, completely overjoyed. Taehyung looks about the same as you, the two of you practically bouncing like golden retrievers. “Why didn’t you tell us you were going to be here?”

Hoseok shares a look with Jimin, and they both break out into a fit of giggles. “Obviously I wasn’t going to miss tonight,” he says. “But I’m disappointed in you, Y/N. You should’ve surprised Jimin with me, not the other way around.”

“Wha– Jung Hoseok, you blocked me last month after I sent you that jumpscare video.”

“Oh, right,” he laughs. “In any case, it’s always so good to see all of you simp over me every time I come home.”

“Hobi, I implore you to stop saying ‘simp’ as a grown ass man.”

“Y/N, this grown ass man implores you to stop calling him Hobi.”

It isn’t until now that you start to relax more. Everything feels so much simpler now that Hoseok is here and all of you are together. Catching up with him, you’re always enraptured to hear the stories he has to tell. Even if it’s brief and the bubble has to eventually burst, he never fails to give you that odd sense of peace you’ve been craving since you got older. Hoseok has a way of making time stretch on forever, in a good way. 

At one point, he stops talking, noticing something out of place. “Oh? You two…” he gestures between you and Jungkook, and the conversation seems to end here because even Hoseok doesn’t know what to say or what to ask. Clearly Taehyung and Jimin haven’t been doing a very good job at keeping him up to date. Then things just start getting kinda awkward again.

You feel partly to blame. After all, you’re one of the two people making this weird for everybody.

For most of the night, you manage to avoid talking to Jungkook. It’s not that difficult really, with Taehyung practically gluing himself to your side (per your request) and catching up with Hoseok, Jungkook could hardly get a word in with you.

You pat Taehyung on the cheek. “Thanks for sticking with me,” you tell him.

“Of course,” he says. “And y’know, it’s not like you really gave me a choice.”

Your hand that’s still on his cheek goes to pinch it. His cheek is so squishy, it feels like you’re kneading dough. You can’t help but squeeze your fingers a little harder.

“Ah! Okay!” he squeaks out. “Sorry!”

You giggle at his frowny face before giving him another affectionate pat. “Seriously, can you imagine Jungkook seeing me drunk without you to hold me back? That’s one of my worst nightmares.”

Taehyung bites his tongue, remembering the night he had put Jimin on pick up duty and Jungkook had tagged along. Taehyung even recalls the morning after, when he was walking on eggshells around you, trying to figure out if your memory would serve you. When he was positive that it didn’t, he had to thank the heavens for letting him live to see another day.

Because if you ever find out, oh you would kill him. You would knock him to the ground and strangle him with your bare hands. He’s absolutely certain that you would. Knowingly letting your friend’s ex see her absolutely shitfaced and crying over said ex? Now that is heinous.

“Hold this,” Taehyung says now that it’s just the two of you, handing you his glass of whiskey. Hoseok got pulled somewhere so Jimin could introduce him to some of his staff, and Jungkook is… well, you have no idea where he is. “I have to pee.”

“What, now?”

“No, two hours from now. I’m just announcing it in advance,” Taehyung deadpans. “Yes, now!”

“I literally just thanked you.” You glare up at him. He starts to get sassy a couple of drinks in. “I’ll come with you.”

“What, to the men’s bathroom? Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I don’t even see Jungkook anywhere. He’s probably mingling. C’mon, I’ll be gone two minutes, tops, okay?”

“No, no, no, wait–!” Aaand he’s already jogging away. Great.

You sigh, take a sip of Taehyung’s drink and immediately grimace. You really don’t like whiskey. You find an empty table nearby to put the glass down and loiter. To anyone, you must look like you’ve got a bad case of social anxiety, standing alone and fidgeting like that, but no, what you have is Jungkook anxiety. 

As you keep your head down and pull out your phone to make it seem like you actually have something to do instead of waiting for your friend to return from the bathroom, your head bobs gently to the faint music coming from the speakers. Peace lasts for about thirty seconds. You turn to look when someone nudges your shoulder.

“You look beautiful,” Jungkook tells you with a smile that almost blinds you. You have to admit, he’s so handsome tonight, and it’s part of why you’ve been avoiding looking at him since you got here.

You glance down at your outfit. You tend to dress more casually at the studio, but today, you wanted to up the ante a little bit for Jimin. It’s nothing fancy, just a smidge more put-together than what you usually go for. Knee-high boots, a black skirt, a cozy sweater and your favorite winter coat. Actually put on some blush for once  to top it all off.

“I’ve looked like this since the morning.”

“I know,” he says. “I’ve been wanting to say it all day.”

It’s the compliment, the sparkling eyes and the soft, warm smile making your face heat up. You bite the inside of your cheek, urging yourself to snap out of it.

The strategy is to deflect. You practically shove your phone in his face with the Gmail app open, making him squint in reflex at the sudden brightness assaulting his eyes. “So Namjoon just sent me this–”

Jungkook takes a step back and brushes your hand away. “Honestly, if it’s fine with you, can we not talk about work?” he chuckles as he says this. “I just got out of the studio. I’d rather not think about it for a minute.”

So it would appear that deflecting is not a viable option.

“Oh, okay.” You nod slowly, putting your phone back into your bag. You are so awkward, and too sober for this, and desperately need your Taehyung-shaped buffer. “Uhm, so… what now?”

Jungkook gives you a quiet chuckle, trying to go over this as nonchalantly as possible. “Friends can talk about things. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Your brows furrow slightly as you recall what you told Seokjin before. Friends… Jungkook still doesn’t seem to know the definition of the word. Does he think you meant it? That you were actually friends now? He can’t be that fucking dense, can he? When he came knocking at your door not that long ago, has he forgotten that look in your eyes and the door closing in his face when he uttered this exact word to you?

From the start, Jungkook was never your friend.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to do this at the studio and I didn’t want to do it here, today, Jimin’s big day, but I have to ask. What are you doing?”

He blinks, seemingly confused, and it prompts you to continue.

“What is this? What am I supposed to talk about with you if it’s not work?” you say slowly. “You know I was just saying that to not make things awkward for Seokjin and Namjoon, right?” Too slowly, like he’s stupid and you need to enunciate every syllable. You can’t help it.

Jungkook puts his champagne glass on the table. He looks a little lost, and it’s clear that this is a turn that neither of you expected. See, you think, wishing Taehyung would come back right this second to witness this, This is why I need to drink.

“What happened? I thought we were doing fine.”

He took the words right out your mouth, only a few years too late.

Is he serious? He really is that dense?

Your mouth falls open, trying to gauge if you are actually on the same topic, or if you’re even speaking the same language. It can’t be more painfully obvious that you two have been living completely different realities.

“You happened,” you snap, amazed by the fact that you even have to tell him.

You stop short of saying: Fuck you. You unraveled my life like a hurricane and now I have to be the one to remind you of it? You wanted nothing to do with me the last five years and now you’re trying to get me all to yourself?

You can’t help the next question that slips out either. Blame the small part of you that’s been dying to know this since you found out the news from Namjoon. “Why would you think that we’d be fine? Who do you think I am to you?”

Jungkook’s lips part but he doesn’t say anything for nearly half a minute. His face falls just a tad, and you don’t really know what to make of that. His eyes glimmer under the lights. With what, you can’t know for certain. It must be shame. Is it possible that there’s guilt swimming in those irises? Underneath the surface of those brown eyes, is it too much to ask that there be some regret too?

You think the question nicked him somewhere you can’t see. Call it wishful thinking, but you hope it’s the same place that he has always cut into you.

Bleed. Bleed like you made me bleed.

Finally, he says, “You’re…”

Then, Jimin practically shouts into a mic that he has procured somewhere. Wonderful timing, blondie.

“Can everyone gather at the front for a group photo please? I’m going to hang it on the wall!”

You don’t know if you should be frustrated or grateful for the interruption. That void that you used to fill with anger and resentment is now bubbling with something else. No matter how hard you try to swallow it all down, you know it won’t stop until you overflow, until you’re swallowed whole by that grief again. You feel foolish. Cheap. Hard to love, hard to keep. He meant the world to you but to him, turns out you were merely replaceable.

You turn away from Jungkook in favor of another chaos. In the midst of the grand Park family – Jimin’s many cousins, bubbly nieces and nephews who all want to be in the center of the photo – you get pushed to the side. There’s too many people here. It’ll probably end up looking like one of those company pictures where at least half the people have their eyes closed and the other half look like they can’t wait to get out of there. You don’t know where Taehyung is, if he’s even back from the bathroom. You’re so tired. So drained, all of a sudden. You miss your bed and your comfy pillows and your warm fluffy blanket. You want to sink into it and melt like a piece of marshmallow on hot chocolate.

You stand there awkwardly on the very edge, aware of Jungkook loitering a couple of steps from you as you both wait for people to make up their mind on where to stand. You can tell that the photographer is getting frustrated when he finally steps in to guide the older people when they start looking like buffering Sims. You don’t even know where Jimin and Hoseok are either.

“Okay, is everyone ready?” the photographer asks, his voice unamused as he raises the camera to look through the viewfinder. He doesn’t even wait for any confirmation and just starts counting down. No doubt about it, Jimin is definitely underpaying this guy. “Three, two, o– Wait. You on the left. No, my left. Yes, you, guy in the black coat. Could you stand closer? You’re almost out of the frame.”

Jungkook – “guy in the black coat” – shuffles closer until you can smell his familiar cologne over the overwhelming floral scent radiating off the woman next to you. He moves until the photographer gives his nod of approval, until your arms touch. It makes you nervous, even through the layers of clothes. What was he going to say? What did you want him to say? What could be a good enough answer?

You all smile as the camera clicks a few times. You might’ve had your eyes closed in one of the shots. Seriously, you have to make Jimin show you the picture before he commemorates his wall with it. If you have to be immortalized on a wall next to your ex, then at least you should look good.

Everybody disperses after that; some going to bid Jimin goodbye as they end the night and go home, some returning to their previously established groups to chat some more. You feel like now is probably a good time to leave.

You move to go find Taehyung, but someone stops you. A warm hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you back. You glance at where Jungkook’s skin touches yours, then your eyes flicker up to meet his. They don’t let you move, and neither do the words he says next. His face is softer than you’ve witnessed in a while. No teasing, no bravado. Just honesty.

“You’re someone important to me.”

Oof. Two strikes in one night.

It makes you angry for some reason – his honesty. Because it really looks like he believes it to be true.

This is the last thing you wanted, fighting when you’re supposed to be celebrating Jimin, but you suppose it’s happening. “I can’t tell if you mean it or if you’re just playing with me,” you say.

Jungkook pales a shade as you stare at him with hard eyes.

“I do mean it,” he says. He looks down at your hand, his fingers on your wrist twitching. 

“If that were really the case, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” you tell him. “If I were really important to you, you wouldn’t have screwed me over like that. If I were really important, you wouldn’t be here right now, acting like I’m something you can throw away whenever you feel like it, and pick back up like nothing ever happened. You know, I was starting to be okay. I was starting to get used to it and you just had to come waltzing back into my life. Do you know how important this is to me? That this is my dream I get to live but I’m just trying to survive it and never have to see you again? Why can’t you just– Fuck.”

You choke on the last of it, knowing that if you keep going, you will cry, and your pride won’t let you break down in front of your friends and strangers alike. In front of Jungkook. You count each breath in your head to steady yourself until your lungs feel less like they’re going to burn out of oxygen. 

You’re surprised that you were able to say that without much liquid courage. You’re glad that you’re standing near the corner of the room where nobody is really paying attention to you. Jungkook lets go of your wrist, visibly gulping as he does so. It feels like there’s an entire orchestra in here – people talking, music playing, all echoing around the room – and you suppose you’re thankful for that. He can’t hear your heart screaming over the noises. If you weren’t sure if he was feeling ashamed before, then you’re sure now. He should be ashamed, for everything he put you through. If you could, you would give it back to him ten times worse.

Quietly, Jungkook says, “I’m sorry,” and then nothing else.

You swear you can hear a clock go tick, tock, tick, tock… The passage of time is so palpable, like something you can hold in your hands. Minutes upon minutes, hours upon hours, days upon days - they sit in the palm of your hands but amount to nothing at all. They slip through your fingers again. Nothing is guaranteed, you realize belatedly then, certainly not closure. You’re never going to get it right. He’s always going to blindside you.

And no matter how hard you try to keep him at bay, he’s always going to get under your skin.

Stop slipping. Stop slipping. Stop slipping.

“Huh,” you mutter to yourself, bitterly, confusedly, amusedly, “I thought that would feel better.”

“What?” he asks.

“Hearing you say sorry. Did you know that you never said sorry to me?”

“It’s not– I–” he stutters. How could he possibly object to that? It’s the truth. It’s the absolute and pathetic truth. He leaves the sentence unfinished like the history of the two of you, half written until he decided that he was done with it. Time would not tell the rest, and all you were left with were blank pages that no one could fill. “I’m sorry,” he ends up saying again, as if repeating it would make the words have more gravity. If that is his intention then you suppose he succeeds, because it makes your heart heavier.

“I’m trying to do right by you.”

You consider it for a second. When you turn away, you find Taehyung across the room, already looking at you, though you don’t think he can hear anything from where he’s standing. Your friend has ‘worried’ written all over his face.

“Are you trying to do right by me? Or by you?” you ask, and then something starts to sink in. You spent so much time thinking about it, wondering where everything went wrong. Going around in circles, dwelling, trying to put together puzzle pieces that just won’t fit. That’s time that you can never get back. You’ve always known that at some point, you would have to let it all go. Maybe now is that point. Let go of things that you have no control over. You’re only burning yourself by holding on. Isn’t it better to let it scar than to keep picking at the wound and making it bleed? “Actually, it doesn’t even matter anymore. What’s the point? I’ve come to terms with it. You can do whatever you want to feel better. Just do it by yourself. Don’t use me.”

Jungkook frowns. “I’m not using you.”

You manage to suppress the urge to scoff. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing? Thinking you could come back and sweet talk me and then you’d be absolved just like that?”

“I know you must hate me,” he says. “...for everything.”

“I do.” No fucking shit. “If you know that, then why are you doing this?” Don’t push it, your brain says, but the way he’s staring at the ground, unable to meet your eyes, looking like a puppy you just kicked makes you annoyed. “Did you know that the first time I ever saw you, I hated you?” you ask, making his eyes flit up to yours. “I wish we could’ve left it at that.”

When his face flashes with hurt, you almost feel bad even though you wished for this. His jaw clenches as you walk away, leaving him there by himself.

“Wanna head home?” Taehyung asks before you have to even say anything. He regards you with soft and apologetic eyes, with a gentle hand on your arm and concern still etched onto his features. Taehyung is a warm summer’s breeze compared to the desolate winter that Jungkook has made of you. You answer with a simple nod.

“Wait for me by the car. I’ll say bye to Jimin and be right out,” Taehyung tells you.

“Okay.”

He puts an arm around your shoulder and squeezes you once. “Sorry about that by the way… There was a line for the bathroom.”

Monday comes too soon.

You have to face Jungkook again too soon.

“Unclench your butt.”

You snap your head to the sound of Yoongi’s voice right next to your ear. His tone is teasing, and his face even more so. The man’s got way too much energy for 9 in the morning.

“Excuse me?” you grumble. You’ve been standing outside the studio for almost ten minutes now, letting your nerves eat away at you because you know Jungkook is already here. You saw his car earlier. 

“Your butt,” your friend says. “It’s too clenched.”

“You were looking at my butt?” You give him a disapproving look.

“Only because you look like you’re trying to hold in a shit.” Yoongi shrugs indifferently. “Why are you standing out here anyway?”

Your fingers twitch around the strap of your bag as you try to give him a nonchalant answer. “Trying to manifest the death of capitalism before you interrupted me.”

“Mhmm,” he says, eyeing you suspiciously like a distrusting cat. “Spill. What happened?”

“What happened with what?”

“I know you went to your friend’s thing on Friday. And I know Jungkook was there too. So what happened?”

You debate whether or not you should tell Yoongi. It’s not like you have anything to hide; he already knows about your history anyway. But he’s been the most insufferable toward Jungkook in the short time that he’s been here, and giving him the goss on your little conversation the other day would only give him another reason to be an even bigger menace. You bite your tongue, and put on the most neutral expression you can manage.

“Nothing happened,” you say. “You’re being nosy, Min.”

You push open the door to be greeted by an incredibly cheerful Seokjin and Namjoon. Why is everyone so bubbly on a Monday morning? Have they always been like this, or do you just feel like everything coming out of their mouths is sunshine and rainbows compared to the black cloud hovering over your head?

Seems like you aren’t the only one dreading the new week though. Jungkook visibly stiffens as you enter, completely devoid of that easy-going smile he always greets you with. “Hey,” he tells you.

“Morning,” you reply. To him, to Seokjin, to Namjoon. You take a seat at your usual corner, setting down your bag and pulling out your pen and notebook. 

Seokjin launches into conversation with Yoongi about a basketball game. Apparently there was one last night, but you don’t really care about that. Namjoon doesn’t seem to have much interest in the topic either, choosing to weigh in with an occasional hum here and there to be polite.

Like you, Jungkook is quiet. He knows enough about basketball to hold a conversation but you know it’s never been his favorite thing in the world. Normally though, even if he isn’t particularly knowledgeable in the matter at hand, he would still act like he’s genuinely absorbed in whatever everyone was talking about, just to be friendly and sociable. He was always very good at networking; that’s why people loved him in college. From what you’ve seen, that trait carried over into adulthood as well. 

From the corner of your eye, you could see Jungkook fidget in his chair. He turns his head every once in a while to glance at you, which doesn’t go unnoticed by you, nor Yoongi for that matter. Yoongi nudges your knee with his own, prompting a curious look from you. He leans closer to your ear and lowers his voice so that nobody can hear.

“Jungkook looks like his butt is pretty clenched too.”

Your grip on the pen loosens as you swirl it around absentmindedly, humming to yourself the melody off the page as if it’ll summon words to the sheet, where it’s mostly blank beneath all the squiggly music notes. The men – with the exception of Namjoon; he’s out for the day – gather around, discussing the first demo track. You drown most of it out. Your job here isn’t to wring out the kinks with the technical aspects anyway.

“We could record something for the rough demo today,” Yoongi thinks out loud.

“Today?” Jungkook asks as he arches an eyebrow. “For what track? We don’t have a single thing completely finished yet?”

“Buddy, are you a glass half empty kind of guy?” Yoongi jokes. “From what I see, we have at least four tracks halfway done. That’s enough for us to record.”

The younger man leans back in his chair and crosses his arms in front of his chest, highly annoyed but he still tries to keep a straight face and an even voice. It’s his first big project, and this fucking person is coming in and stepping all over his toes. To Jungkook, Yoongi is just some guy. He has never understood what the hype was about with Agust D, why he has always been a massive media darling and why everybody seems so enamored with him. Seokjin talks about him like Jungkook should feel so privileged to have the opportunity to work with such talent. Namjoon, his own freaking mentor, practically idolizes Yoongi. He almost passed out from glee when he heard that Yoongi would be coming on board. Even when the label was trying to get the rapper to sign with them, Jungkook never got what all the fuss was about.

It’s almost frustrating to watch people around him fawn over Yoongi like he hangs the moon in the sky. If you feel the same way about him, you don’t let it show, but Jungkook can tell that you admire and respect the guy a lot. He just can’t figure out what the deal is between you and Yoongi. Something is there. If not from your side then definitely from Yoongi’s. He seems too protective of you. Taehyung is the same way, and so are Jimin and Hoseok, but with them, Jungkook understands. They’ve been friends with you since forever, and he can’t imagine that your friendship with Yoongi can ever be that special.

“I disagree,” Jungkook asserts. “It’s a waste of time to make a demo now when we’d have to do it all over again later. At this point, all we’ll get is scraps. It wouldn’t help us get anywhere.”

Yoongi glances at Seokjin, who’s been watching but not really contributing, and they both share a look. It makes Jungkook want to get more fired up because he is supposed to be in charge here, but Yoongi is clearly more in tune with what Seokjin wants and how he operates. Jungkook will be the first one to say that he is not the best team player, but at least he tries. It usually works out just fine in the end, once he can get his ego out of the way to actually get something done, but this time it’s proving to be quite the challenge when it seems like Yoongi is constantly trying to hinder him.

“Jungkook, look.” Even the way he says his name is irritating. “I’ve been doing this way longer than you have, buddy. I was a producer before I became a rapper. I think I know what I’m doing here.”

“And I see why you would think this is a good idea, but I’m saying it’s a waste of time and effort to do this when we’ll just have to redo the whole process later. You want a summer release. We don’t have the time, and do we even have enough budget–”

Yoongi tilts his head to one side with an amused smile. “Are you sure this is the right business for you? Should you be in risk assessment instead? Why are you here worrying about budgets and timing? That’s the whole point of doing preliminary demos, to help you see what direction to take and guide the creative process–”

“Okay, okay. Retract the claws, fellas,” Seokjin jumps in this time. “I’m with Yoongi on this one, JK. Take it easy, man.”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and nods begrudgingly. He makes it seem like he’s taking it in stride, tucking his chagrin behind a mask of indifference. Yoongi shrugs with a triumphant grin, clasping his hands together as he gestures both Seokjin and Jungkook to the soundbooth.

“What?” The younger man stares at the other two. “You want me in there too?”

“Yeah, just to test some stuff out. You have a nice voice,” Yoongi admits, and even though he’s being genuine for once, Jungkook still feels like it’s condescending somehow. Anything that comes out of Yoongi’s mouth is patronizing to him. “Couldn’t hurt to see how it would sound like with Jin hyung. Maybe we could even use it later.”

You’ve been trying to keep your head down and shut out all the sounds. Sounds of Jungkook fucking singing. Why did Min Yoongi have to force him into the box?

Back then, you used to tell him that he’s good enough to be a singer. He’d sing you to sleep whenever you were plagued with insomnia, or when you were sick, or just whenever you wanted him to. His voice always soothed you, made you feel warm all over. 

As if ignoring him today wasn’t difficult enough already.

“You’re bleeding.” You hear someone say a while later. 

Your head snaps up to see what’s going on. Somebody’s bleeding? How did that happen? But Seokjin and Jungkook are still in the booth, both looking at the paper that Jungkook is holding, talking to each other about something you can’t catch. You scan the room, brows furrowed, until you see Yoongi looking at you.

“Huh?” He points toward your hands. “You’re bleeding.”

Your eyes follow his line of sight until they land on what he’s staring at. You put the pen on the table and flex your hands. He’s exaggerating, they aren’t bleeding. Well, technically, they are if you count the reddened patches of cracked skin between your knuckles as bleeding. Your hands are just dry because the weather is cold. It happens. Dramatic Yoongi.

You wave him off with a smile. “Eh. It’s fine. I’ll put some lotion on it when I get home,” you lie. You don’t even have any hand cream. You’ve only tried using a dollop of body lotion on your hands once, but you didn’t like how your skin just felt so sticky afterward that it would leave visible prints when you touched your phone screen.

Yoongi shakes his head lightly. “No, you won’t. I’ve noticed that for a few days now.”

You level him with a look. “What are you, the hand police? It’s just dry hands. I’m not gonna die from that.”

“No, you‘re not,” Yoongi agrees, but regardless, he stands up and walks to retrieve his bag from where he left it on the couch. You watch with curiosity as he rummages through it until he pulls out a white tube of something. He crosses the distance to get to where you’re sitting and settles into the chair next to you. He reaches for your hands then, and says, “But do it for my sake. I don’t wanna look at your ugly witch's hands all day.”

“Yoongi!” you hiss, instantly scowling and failing to push him off when his stronger hand grasps one of your own. He pops open the tube and squeezes some of the cream onto your skin. “What are you doing?!”

“Hold still,” he says because you keep squirming. When the sheer weight of your glare on his face makes him look up at you, Yoongi actually glares back at you. Gasp. “Hold still,” he repeats firmly. 

You huff out a breath in annoyance. You glance at the booth to see if the guys are looking, but Seokjin still appears to be focused on the music sheet. You see and faintly hear him humming, his fingers tapping the air like he’s counting the beats. Jungkook, though… Jungkook is looking.

In the few seconds that your eyes meet his, you can tell that he’s trying to understand whatever the hell he’s watching here. You feel your cheeks heat up and you don’t really know if it’s because of Jungkook’s hard gaze on you or the feeling of Yoongi’s hands on your hands. You quickly turn away, missing the way the man in the booth pokes his tongue into a cheek.

You try to kick Yoongi in the shin but he manages to block your foot with his knee. He tuts at you disapprovingly. You watch him with a petulant frown as he rubs the cream into the back of your hand, between your knuckles, over each of your fingers. It feels expensive, though you would expect nothing less from Min Yoongi. The cream soaks into your skin right away, unlike that body lotion of yours that was obviously not made for this purpose. 

“You’re so overreacting over nothing,” you tell him.

“No, I’m not. Y/N, your hands were starting to look like coconut shavings,” he says casually, still focused on being your self-appointed hand masseuse it seems. “Is he looking?”

“What?”

“Jungkook,” Yoongi clarifies, his eyes darting up to your face for a brief second. “Is he looking?”

You exhale through your nose. “He was,” you say flatly, quite displeased with his shenanigans. “Yoongi, I told you not to do shit like this.”

His movements gradually slow. You don’t think there’s any more product on the surface left to absorb anyway. “I’m not doing this because of Jungkook, I promise,” he says, not pulling away just yet, letting his skin linger on yours. His head is still tilted downward, his gaze seemingly glued to where his thumb is swiping over your fingers. Jungkook used to do this too - absentmindedly playing with your fingers. It’s cute, and you hate to admit that the little things like this make you feel warm. You clench your jaw just once. Maybe it’s a guy’s thing.

For a moment, you actually think that he’s being sincere. About what, you don’t know. Then Yoongi looks up at you, eyes crinkling as he grins. “But pissing him off is definitely a huge plus.”

“You’re insufferable,” you tell Yoongi, rolling your eyes and shoving him away with your now moisturized hands. You gotta be honest, they do look and feel a lot better. Maybe you should pick some lotion up after work. You won’t tell Yoongi this, but you tried the exact one he just used on you a while back, in a store, and it smelled so good that you thought about it for two whole weeks. But when you saw the price tag, you immediately recoiled. It was one of the brands wherein the products were more expensive than the city’s median rent, so no wonder Yoongi would be the one to have something of theirs. Different tax brackets, you think.

Yoongi stumbles a little from your push. When he stands up, he takes one of your hands again, opening your palm and placing the tube there. “Use it every night before bed,” he instructs, like he’s a pharmacist and you’re just someone waiting to pick up their prescription.

“What?” You look at him, so serious and kind of offended. “Yoongi, I am not using your old shit!”

He sighs, wrapping your fingers around the tube so you would hold it there. “I don’t even use hand cream. I got that for you yesterday.”

Jungkook is so done. It’s been such a long week and it’s only the first day of the fucking week. After feeling so utterly helpless around you, losing to Yoongi and then watching Yoongi have his little moment with you right in front of him, Jungkook fully intends to drive straight to Jimin’s and raid his liquor cabinet until he gets a grip and figures out what to do on the you front. Especially since you called him out like that.

Jungkook hasn’t been able to focus in over an hour, after you left to go home, but he’s still cognizant enough to save the bits that he and Seokjin recorded earlier. He has witnessed how pissed Namjoon can get when they lose files due to carelessness, and no matter how level-headed his mentor usually is even in the most stressful of situations, Jungkook absolutely does not want to be on the receiving end of Namjoon’s scoldings when the man lets anger get the best of him.

Jungkook glances at the corner that you usually occupy with your nose buried in your notebook. It’s so empty in here; everyone else has already left. He sits there, heavy with so many realizations all at once. It feels like college all over, only this time, he isn’t just a stupid kid with a crush and a weird way of showing affection. He’s hurting you again. No matter what he does, he just keeps making it worse for you and him.

You were right, and it must’ve taken a lot for you to say what you said to him. It was crazy, and foolish, and most of all cruel for Jungkook to think he could patch things up with a smile. He knew how devastated he left you. Didn’t need to see the mess he made to know how much it fucked you up. Didn’t need anyone to tell him – even though his friends all tried – to know how unbelievably heartless it was to abandon the person who loved him the most. But back then, he believed he was doing the right thing. That’s how he coped with it, by trusting that it was the best decision he could make at the time. 

He still remembers that day like it was merely 24 hours ago.

The obliviousness in your voice when he told you he was coming over to talk and you said you had exciting news to share. The way he had cried in the car on his way over, pulled himself together just long enough to say “I’m breaking up with you,” and watched your eager smile drop. He could practically feel your heart in his open palm, crumbling to nothing as he gave it back to you. Like he was saying “I don’t want it anymore.” He remembers crying again on the drive after.

Everything is different now, but if he could go back, even with the knowledge of the fallout, he would still choose to do the same.

There was no point in telling Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, or just about anyone, why he felt like he had to do it. They would’ve just called him stupid and told you. He’s sure that if you knew then, you would try to reason with him, maybe you would even beg. And if you had begged him to stay, then there was no way he could follow through.

Jungkook locks up the studio and leaves. When he passes Jihyo at the reception, he hears her call his name but he pretends that he doesn’t. He’s too tired for this tonight. He just wants a drink, and he just wants to see you even though you were with him all day. 

Skipping the parking lot for now, Jungkook walks to the nearby store, wanting to bring something over to Jimin’s or else the older man will just grumble at him for coming empty handed. When he rounds the corner, he sees you walking by yourself in the small park across the street. Your hands are shoved in your pockets while you stare up at the starless night. Jungkook thinks you should belong in a painting.

He stands there curiously. If you looked straight ahead, you would see him. But you seem preoccupied with the clouds floating through the dark blue, too lost in thought to notice much. Your hand comes up when something lands on your face. A second later, Jungkook feels something wet and cold against his cheek too. He remembers.

He pulls out his phone, fiddles with it for a minute as he contemplates, and ultimately decides to tap on your name in his contacts. Pressing the device against his ear, he listens to it ring, and watches you fish your own phone from your bag. He takes note of the furrow between your brows, the fleeting clench of your teeth. He almost thinks you wouldn’t pick up, but you do.

“Hello?” you answer uncertainly. 

“Hey,” Jungkook says, “where are you?”

“Uhm…” There’s a pause. He wonders if you would lie. “Just out getting some air. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just… in front of you right now.”

Confusion overtakes your features. When your gaze crosses the street to land on him, you let out a small Oh, and give him a small awkward wave. He ends the call and rushes over, even though he doesn’t know what to say to you. He watches you wince, because you always hated whenever he jaywalked. It makes him smile a little.

“Hi,” you say as Jungkook stands in front of you.

“Hi,” he returns. “Mind if I join you?”

You stare up at him for a few seconds before deciding, “Yeah, sure.”

“What are you still doing here? You left like two hours ago,” he says. You walk together further into the park, where lonely lamp posts dimly light your path.

You shrug. “I went to get dinner and just… I don’t know. Felt like I could use some fresh air.”

“In this weather? It’s snowing.”

You both watch the breath that you huff out. “Well, it didn’t start snowing until you got here.”

The first snow, or just snow in general, is never as romantic as they make it seem in the movies. Sure it’s pretty, and when the ground is covered in a thick blanket of snow, it makes for a good Instagram story. But in reality? Snow is so fucking dirty, and when it starts melting, it is absolute hell for everybody. Your weather app didn’t say that it would snow today, but you should’ve known better than to trust that damn thing.

Jungkook hums, and silence falls over you like the snow, making everything so damp and gross. You hope it stops soon.

When some snowflakes land directly on your cheek, you wipe the moisture away with mild annoyance. “I hate snow,” you grumble, pulling your scarf tighter. If you had known that it would snow, you would’ve worn something with a hood and your sturdier boots.

Jungkook chuckles lightly as he watches you hiss when some snowflakes land on your head, startling your skin with its frost and slowly dampening your hair. “You don’t hate it,” he says. “You just hate it when you’re walking in the snow. I know you.”

The universe doesn’t give you time to dwell on that last comment. The ground beneath you turns slippery as you keep walking. You yelp loudly when your sneaker-clad feet skid on the thin ice sheet that the snow has created. You’re fully prepared for your ass to hit the pavement and consequently bruise in about half an hour, but Jungkook catches you with both hands on your waist, pulling you flush against him so you don’t hit the ground. Unlike you, his shoes have more traction.

Your heart hammers from the suddenness of the last thirty seconds. You can see each heavy breath that leaves your mouth and promptly dissipates into the cold air. You don’t realize that your hands are gripping his shoulders to help steady yourself, as if he doesn’t already have his arms wrapped securely around you, and you realize then that wow, this is the closest he’s been to you in years. It’s unbearable just how much you’ve missed being in his arms.

Just two people on an empty street, tangled up in each other, the falling snow your only audience – you look like you’ve landed yourself right in a romance drama, but in reality, this is anything but that.

You clear your throat and shuffle backward, out of his strong hold, careful not to trip and make a fool of yourself any more than you already have. “Thanks,” you say. “I should head home. It’s getting late.”

Jungkook nods. “Do you want to walk back to the company? I can give you a ride home.”

You consider this. The street is steadily being swallowed up by layers of white, and you don’t doubt that it will only be more difficult to navigate the road by yourself as the night gets darker and colder. Cabs are running more sparsely. It would take you forever to get home, especially in weather that makes you feel like a calf learning to walk for the first time.

“Yeah,” you agree, “sure, okay.”

The walk back to the building’s parking lot is mostly silent, and so is the ride to your apartment. You’ve never felt the first snow on your skin before, having always preferred to stay indoors on nights forecasted to experience snowfall. There’s something so wistful about witnessing the inauguration of winter yourself, how these delicate flowers of ice not only herald the ending of a season and the beginning of a new one, but also signal that another chapter of your life is about to close forever. It prompts you to mull over the last 12 months, to see if you’ve accomplished anything you set out to achieve or if you’ve wasted an entire year of your life. To share a moment like this with Jungkook makes you wonder if the universe is trying to send you a sign.

When the car stops at a red light a few blocks away from your place, you take the time to watch the snowflakes twirling outside the window. They wander in front of you, free yet aimless, like they’re asking if they could come in and seek refuge from the freezing cold. Not knowing warmth would be the thing that kills them. Adrift with the gentle wind until they land on the glass, only to die a mere second later. You break the silence.

“It’s kinda nice now,” you say, eyeing the marshmallow-looking ice that’s starting to pile up all around while you’re sheltered by the warmth of his car.

“See?” Jungkook chuckles. “Told you you only hate snow when you have to walk in it.”

“Hmm.” It’s true. You don’t want to admit it, but he did know you. Knew what drove you and what made you tick. Knew how your brain worked and how your heart moved. Knew that you loved him long before you could say it out loud.

Even when you lied that he doesn’t know you anymore, deep down you’re very well aware that he still does. 

“Can I ask you this one thing, though?” you say calmly, but something must alert him that you aren’t looking to talk about the weather or some other meaningless shit. Jungkook doesn’t give you a verbal answer, nor any other indication that you can go ahead and voice your question. He just looks at you before the light turns green, like he doesn’t really want you to ask anything but he has no other choice but to let you. Like he’s scared of what you might demand from him.

It’s okay. You weren’t asking for permission anyway.

“Did I…” love you enough? Was there a single moment where you thought I didn’t love you? “Back then,” you swallow, keeping your eyes on the snowy streets that turn into ivory blurs as the car starts moving again, “did I ever make you feel like you weren’t enough?”

Your ears don’t pick up on much sound in the infinite pocket of seconds that follows. Not the low hum of the car’s radiator, nor the wind that becomes harsher right outside the window. Just his breathing and the beat of your own heart, drowning in the anticipation of his answer.

What if he says yes? Would it mean that after all this time that you spent blaming him, it’s been your fault all along? Were you the one that drove him away?

“No,” he says, interrupting that voice in your head. “Not once.”

You don’t doubt that he’s telling you the truth, but it doesn’t make you feel better. His tone tells you there’s more than he’s letting on, but it doesn’t matter now. Before Friday night, Taehyung had asked if you would ask Jungkook the question, and after some consideration, you had said no. Maybe if it were a couple of years ago, or even a few months back when you saw him again, you would have said yes. You used to think that if he ever came back for whatever reason, the first thing you would ask him is why. You would confront him, demand an answer, make him walk you through every single thought he had before he decided to ruin your life.

But no answer could change the fact that he did leave. There is no excuse good enough to justify how he left you so completely crushed. Sure, knowing would give you some of the closure that you were desperately seeking at one point, but what if it makes everything worse? What if he left because he was looking for something, something more than you could give? What if he found it, only to realize then that it wasn’t worth leaving you for after all?

Now, at least you know that your efforts were felt. You did the best you could, loved him the best way you knew how. 

The man beside you clears his throat. You only notice now that Jungkook has already pulled up in front of your building. You haven’t spoken much before tonight, not about what happened at Jimin’s party. You weren’t sure how to bring it up, or if you should even bring it up. He seemed like he was trying to avoid the topic too. You had the weekend to relive every moment of that night over and over, and you obviously don’t want to talk about it, but you have to address it sooner or later if you want to move forward in peace. 

“Hey, uhm, about the other night…” you start.

He stiffens a bit, and then sighs. “I know,” he says. “You were right. It’s not fair of me to–”

“I’m sorry,” you cut him off firmly. “Some of the things I said were harsh, and I’m sorry.”

Jungkook looks at you in surprise. His ears must deceive him, because, “Why are you apologizing?”

“I told you. I was harsh and it was uncalled for.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he says, frowning. He twists his body to face you. “I deserved it. You were right to call me out. Don’t backtrack.”

You stare at him with your lips pursed. “Why are you trying to argue right now?”

“Because I deserve your rage. Be mad at me.”

“I am mad at you,” you tell him but there’s no bite. You’re softening, loosening your grip while he’s the only one trying to hold on. “But I don’t want to be anymore.”

“Why not? You should. You have every right.”

“Jungkook, it’s been five years,” you chuckle without much humor, thinking back to what you’ve been doing in the last half a decade. Stalking your ex online, mourning your lost love every time he gets into a new relationship, holding out hope. And for what? What’s the point of it all? It’s not like you and him are going to get back together again. It’s a waste of time, time that you could spend trying to let him go and move on, whether he gives you that closure or not. “I’m tired and I just want to get on with my life. I don’t want to keep being bitter about it. What good will that do?”

His face is so serious all of a sudden, like he wants you to actually scream at him. Curse him out. Anything. “Then what do you want me to do?”

“Don’t feel like you have to make amends, or do anything right by me. Can we just, I don’t know, let the past remain in the past? I don’t want to make our friends feel like they have to act a certain way around me when it comes to you. It’s my problem, not theirs. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable anymore. So please, I’m not asking for anything else. I just want us all to… move forward.”

It’s then that he sees, oh, maybe you do belong in a painting. Sitting right in front of him but you’re so far away. He was once the artist but now, he’s merely a spectator.  “Do you mean that?” he asks quietly.

“Yes, Jungkook. I’m really tired,” you say. “Why would you of all people want to be reminded of what happened?”

He swallows thickly. You can tell that he isn’t too fond of the idea, even if what you’re proposing gives him a way out. It lets him off the hook. But for some reason, he’s hesitant to take it, might be resisting it even. You can’t bring yourself to understand why, but eventually, he says, “Okay. If that’s what you really want.”

He doesn’t put up much of a fight, though it doesn’t exactly sound like an affirmation, but who even cares?

“Right, then,” you mumble, unbuckling your seatbelt and gripping the strap of your bag. “Good night. See you tomorrow.”

He says it back, and lets you go with a strained smile.

Yoongi’s fingers tap on his knees to the beat of the music playing in the background. You were surprised when he called you on a Saturday, asking if you were free, telling you that he had something to say. You didn’t have any plans and Yoongi said he was treating you, and well, you don’t need to be convinced further.

Here you are, in a fancy restaurant, sharing a tiramisu with Min Yoongi. How nice. You thought he’d have better plans than just hanging out with little old you.

“Will you please just tell me now?” you say, looking at him with playful puppy dog eyes. You take another bite of the dessert, and practically have to stifle a moan when the sweetness melts in your mouth. You honestly think you have romantic feelings for this tiramisu. “I’ve been waiting for like two hours.” 

Yoongi swirls the wine in his glass before he brings it to his lips and takes a sip, all the while looking at you, so happy with the treat that you’re supposed to share but he doesn’t even touch. When he sets his glass down, he calls your name, making you glance up. 

“Do you still… y’know… Jungkook?”

You stare at him back, confused. “Do I still I know Jungkook?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Don’t make me spell it out. You’ll just beat me if I say it.”

“Oh, so it’s something annoying then? Then please, keep it to yourself.”

“Okay, then,” he says, smiling so obnoxiously because he knows you’re too curious.

Give it a minute.

“Oh my god, fine,” you give up, drawing out the sentence exasperatedly. “Do I still what Jungkook?”

Yoongi regards your face teasingly. “Do you still have feelings for him?”

Your entire body goes rigid. You don’t even try to hide the way your face falls upon hearing his question. What’s the point? He’ll just see right through you anyway.

“You took me out to dinner just to ask me that?”

He nods. “Yeah, among other things.”

“I mean…” You set down your spoon. No one has ever asked you that before, and it’s not a question that you yourself have considered. Jungkook still affects you, that much is clear. Thinking about your relationship still affects you. Does that mean that you have lingering feelings for him? You’ve yet to solve this, and truth be told, you aren’t sure if you would like the conclusion it leads you to. You give Yoongi a vague answer, because even you yourself don’t know what the truth is. But it doesn’t matter, now that you’ve made the active decision to let it all go. “I’m trying to move on.”

“Hmm.” He doesn’t seem very satisfied with your choice of words. “Do you still hate him then?”

This, you don’t really need to ruminate much on. “I think part of me will always hate him for what he did.” And part of you will always love him in spite of what he did.

Yoongi leans forward with both of his arms on the table, contemplating how he should word this. You deserve flowery words and romantic grand gestures, but alas Yoongi is blunt, and sometimes rough around the edges. He has great timing too. Just as you raise a glass of water to your mouth to soothe your dry throat, he says, “Let me be your revenge dick.”

It makes you choke, sending water down every wrong pipe as you cough harshly. It dribbles down your chin and a few drops plop! onto your light wash jeans. You’re glad it wasn’t wine. You would’ve killed him if he made you stain your newly bought trousers. While you try to hold onto dear life, he has the audacity to fucking laugh. When you kick his shin under the table, he hands you a few napkins. It takes you another minute to calm down.

“What the actual fuck?” you hiss. The little “incident” earns you a few weird looks from people sitting nearby. It’s so embarrassing, but Yoongi is acting like it’s the funniest shit he’s ever seen.

“Let me be your revenge d–”

“I heard you the first time, Jesus Christ. Please don’t say the word “dick” to me ever again. In fact, please stop talking altogether. Please don’t open your mouth ever again.”

He does not abide by your request, opening his stupid mouth again and thus cementing his place as your least favorite person in the entire world right this minute. You lost half your brain cells listening to that one singular sentence. Jesus fucking God. Who in their right mind would utter something like that? And to you, no less? Fuck. Men.

One of these days, you swear you will pop an aneurysm. It’s so ridiculous that it’s not even funny. But Yoongi just keeps talking like you’re asking him to elaborate.

“What I’m saying is… use me.”

“For what?” You’re genuinely so perplexed as to what the point of this conversation is, or where it’s even going. This man has a way of surprising you more and more each day.

“For revenge dicking purposes.”

You do your best to suppress a shudder. Where did that term even come from? “Oh my god, why do you keep saying that? We’re in public! What if someone hears you?!” 

The man sitting across from you grins, showcasing his pearly whites, clearly very amused by your reactions. “You gotta show Jungkook what he’s missing. Make him regret it.”

“Min Yoongi,” you say slowly. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“No. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been this serious,” Yoongi answers. “Let me be your arm candy. I’m very good at that.” You’re very curious about who raised him and how he turned out to be this way. You can’t believe you have to tolerate him sometimes.

You give it another minute before you say, “I’ll have you know that Jungkook and I had a very productive talk. We’re in a much better place now, so your… whatever services won’t be necessary.”

He leans back, eases up, and stares at you thoughtfully. Like he doesn’t really believe you. Like the cogs of his mind are once again turning. “Okay, that’s even better. I don’t have to be the rebound. I can just be your main piece.”

Looking at him pleadingly, you bemoan, “Yoongi, why are you doing this to me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“It absolutely is not obvious!”

“Seriously?”

You cross your arms, raising an annoyed eyebrow at the man. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of people you’re hanging out with, but my friends don’t go around offering to–”

“Because I like you.”

You could practically facepalm. As he stares at you, not even blinking anymore, you reach for the salt shaker on the table to pour some onto your hand. When he opens his mouth to ask what you’re doing, you flick the miniscule white crystals in his direction. 

“Wha–”

“Yoongi, I can’t believe you wasted a whole evening for that lame ass joke.”

“Did you really just…” He throws his head back, laughing in both disbelief and amusement. “Wow. You tell a girl you like her and she throws salt at you. That’s definitely a first for me.”

“It’s not funny. Stop saying that.”

“Stop saying what?”

“Stop saying you like me!”

“But I do like you,” he says, voice softer now. “I’ve always liked you.”

You mentally groan, sucking your teeth before you reach for the salt again. He grabs your wrist before you could hold it up. 

“Quit it and listen to me. I’m serious.”

When you look at Yoongi, he’s wearing an expression you don’t think you’ve often seen, or ever seen before. There’s no trace of that familiar teasing smile that’s almost always on his lips, nor the mischievous glint in his eyes that he usually sports. This side of Yoongi is new to you. This side of Yoongi makes you hold your breath for some reason.

For a second there, you believe what he’s saying.

“Come on. You’re taking this too far.”

“Why do you keep thinking this is a joke? You know I would never do that, Y/N.”

You pull your hand back to pinch the bridge of your nose. “Because you keep using me to mess with Jungkook even though I’ve asked you multiple times to–”

“Can you not mention his name?” Yoongi straightens in his chair. This is the closest he’s ever come to being annoyed with you. “I’m trying to tell you how I feel and you’re thinking about Jungkook.”

You liked it better when he was cocky about it.

“You can’t possibly be serious right now.”

Yoongi purses his lips, his eyes telling you that he’s irritated with you too, only he’s much better at containing his frustration. You both stare at each other for god knows how long because neither one of you understands what the other is trying to say.

When Yoongi speaks next, his voice is so calm, so low that it makes your spine run cold.

“You were always so oblivious.”

“Oh my god, pick up, pick up, pick up,” you mutter to yourself like a deranged person on the sidewalk, telepathically urging Taehyung to answer the phone before you’ve even called him. His phone filters through your speaker after the third ring. Kim Taehyung, always so quick to answer your calls.

“What’s u–”

“Oh my god, Kim Taehyung, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, you will not believe what just happened,” you rush out in one breath. “Where are you? Are you at home? I’ll come to you. Oh my god!”

“Jesus, did you mix coffee with Red Bull again? Slow down,” Taehyung says. “I’m at Jimin’s now.”

“Oh? Okay.” This is even better. Jimin’s apartment is much closer to the restaurant than Taehyung’s place is. “Is it boys’ night? Nevermind. Doesn’t matter. I’ll come over right now. Be there in 15!”

“What? Wait, Y/N, no, Ju–!”

You hang up before he can say anything else. You bounce on your heels as you flag down a cab, so awfully restless and you just want to tell someone. On the ride over, the driver keeps glancing at you through the rearview mirror every few seconds; your nervous energy must have infected him because you look like you just found out that someone is freaking dying. When you arrive at your destination, you take a deep breath before you hurry up the stairs. Jimin’s building is old and has no elevator, which normally sucks because he lives on the fifth floor and you absolutely despise stairs. But right now, you have so much adrenaline coursing through your veins that five flights feel like a piece of cake.

You have no doubt that the men inside know it’s you from the way you ring his doorbell repeatedly. Jimin opens the door with an exasperated look, to which you pay no mind and just press a quick kiss against his cheek in greeting before you barge into his home in search of Taehyung.

“Kim Taehyung! Where are you? This is an emergency, I need y–!”

When you do find him, however, he isn’t alone. Sitting next to Taehyung on the couch and holding a bottle of beer to his lips, is none other than Jungkook. You all look at each other awkwardly as the words die on your tongue, killing some of the nerves while you bite your lip to keep your mouth shut. Jimin waddles into the living room after he shuts down the door and plops down next to Jungkook. Now there are three pairs of eyes on you.

“Oh, uhm, hi,” you say to Jungkook. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Hi,” he says, and offers you a beer on the table. “Want one?”

What you said to Yoongi at dinner wasn’t exactly untrue. You and Jungkook are kind of in a better place now. In the last few days, since you had your little chat in his car, he’s let up on the crap that he was pulling before. Something still feels off to you though. Feels like his head isn’t really in it, that he’s still doing this for the sake of trying to ease his guilt by going along with what he thinks makes you happy. Whatever. It’s at least a little progress, you suppose.

“No, that’s fine.” You wave Jungkook off before inching closer to Taehyung and pulling him up by the arm. “Uhm, I just needed to talk to Tae and I’ll be on my way!”

You drag your friend into the guest bedroom that Jimin has recently turned into an office, all the while ignoring his shout of “This better be good! Don’t forget to tell me later!” as you shut the door.

You glare at Taehyung. “Okay, why didn’t you tell me that Jungkook was here?”

“I tried to!” He raises his hands in surrender. “You hung up on me. I texted you about it.”

You rummage through your bag for the phone that you so hastily shoved in there before getting into the taxi. The notification on your screen glares back at you.

[21:42] Taebear 🐻: jungkook is here btw. dunno if you’re cool with that

“Right…” you mutter. “My bad.”

“Well?” Taehyung prompts, then his face turns worried as he gives you a once-over. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

You inhale deeply, holding onto his wrists and staring him dead in the eye. Even with the door closed and with Jungkook and Jimin all the way in the living room, you keep your voice low. “I think I just got propositioned.”

Your friend blinks slowly, or rather, he closes his eyes for five whole seconds before he opens them. Taehyung visibly relaxes when he comprehends that you are, in fact, okay and healthy, and that you’re just being overly dramatic.

He pushes your hands away. “Fuck off. I thought something bad happened.”

“Something bad did happen!”

“You are literally the worst person.”

“I’m serious!”

He groans and looks at you like a disappointed parent. “Fine,” he relents, “what happened?”

“I think Yoongi sort of pimped himself out to me today.”

Taehyung opens his mouth, closes it, and does it again a few times. “You can’t just say that and not elaborate.”

“He said he likes me.”

There comes that slow-ass, neverending blink again. Taehyung looks like the meme, like he’s seeing the world in nothing but equations.

“I fail to see how that would be considered pimping oneself out.”

“Well, you have to hear what he said after–”

A mop of fluffy blond hair materializes out of thin air, startling you both. You didn’t even hear him come in. That sneaky little thing. “What are we talking about?” Jimin asks, lowering his volume to match yours. “Why are we whispering?”

“Why are you here?” You look behind him at the door that he left ajar. “Where’s Jungkook?”

“He’s in the living room.”

“By himself?”

“Well, there’s no one else here, so duh.”

You exhale exasperatedly. “Now it’s gonna look like we’re talking about him.”

“Aren’t we?”

“We’re talking about Yoongi,” Taehyung says, casting his eyes to the ground briefly.

“Yoongi?” Jimin asks, glancing between you and Taehyung with a slight frown. “Your Yoongi?”

You raise an eyebrow in question. “What do you mean my Yoongi? There’s only one Yoongi. He’s the Yoongi.”

“Okay. So what’s up with the Yoongi?”

Taehyung turns to his wonder twin with an unamused look. “She’s doing that annoying thing where she gives you a single detail of the story and you have to ask her to keep going every time.”

Blondie makes a face. “Oof, yeah, that’s annoying. Don’t do that.”

You gape at the two of them. “I’m giving you tea and you’re complaining about my storytelling skills?”

You should’ve expected it, should’ve known what was coming the second that question left your mouth. The guys don’t even need to look at each other to be in sync when they echo, “Yes.”

“But seriously,” Jimin says, “what about Yoongi?”

“We went to dinner tonight and he… said he likes me…” you tell him, and physically recoil at the memory. Oh… the horror. “And he said, oh my god I can’t even repeat it without wanting to jump off a bridge, he said to let him be my revenge dick.”

Jimin gasps. Taehyung chokes on his own spit. They both sputter out, “What the fuck?”

“Right?!” you cry, still so fucking mortified by the experience. “I almost died just sitting there. I can’t believe he made me listen to that with my own two ears.”

Taehyung is the first one to turn serious. “What happened after that though?” You don’t know what you would do sometimes if there wasn’t a Kim Taehyung to ground you.

“Well, I came here.”

“So…” he drags out the single word, “you ran away from him?”

Jimin looks at you expectantly too, wearing the same question in his eyes. You frown at them. “What? No. I threw salt on him and told him to stop fucking around and then I lef– Oh my god, I did run away.”

Shit.

Shit.

“Hold up, what the fuck,” Jimin cackles, like this is all just so funny. “You threw salt on him?”

You let out a nervous laugh, and point finger guns at your friends idiotically. “But it’s fine. Because obviously he didn’t mean it.”

“Why would you think he didn’t mean it?” Taehyung asks.

“He’s an annoying little shit sometimes! And,” you keep your volume under control again, “he hates Jungkook. He’s only doing it to piss him off.”

Taehyung purses his lips, regards you with a look you don’t like because you’re trying to sort through this logically, convince yourself that it isn’t real and that Yoongi is just missing April Fool’s day by four whole months. Why is your friend making this more difficult?

“Is it so hard to believe that someone can like you?”

“Yes,” you say seriously, “when that person is Yoongi.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s Yoongi!” You throw your hands up. “He’s not like us.”

“I hate to break it to you, but celebrities aren’t above having crushes.”

You look at Jimin for help, but he just shrugs, choosing silence as the neutral option or maybe staying silent is just his way of agreeing with Taehyung. This isn’t the reaction you expected when you rushed here to give him the goss. Taehyung doesn’t blindly support your every decision or try to rationalize your every move just because he’s your friend. He tells you to your face when you’re being absurd, so you really don’t get why he’s the one being unreasonable right now.

“Oh my god, please,” you say. “Yoongi absolutely does not have a crush on me.”

Jimin chimes in. “Well, he did literally just admit that to you.”

You send him a glare that says, Oh, so now you’re talking?

You turn to Taehyung again. You can’t believe this is happening. Are you two really arguing? About whether or not Yoongi actually likes you? While Jungkook is sitting by himself in another room? You bet nobody has this on their bingo card.

“I told you. He’s just trying to fuck with Jungkook.”

“Why do you keep saying that? Why do you think he’s trying to fuck with Jungkook?” Taehyung challenges.

“Because he’s my friend!” you groan. It’s the most obvious thing in the world, but no one seems to believe that Yoongi is just your friend. “You’re my friend too. But you’re being so fucking annoying now.”

He narrows his eyes at you, as if to prove a point. “Yoongi is that good of a friend that he would go out of his way to mess with someone he hadn’t even met until a couple weeks ago?”

“I– well– maybe!” you stammer, blinking up at him. The height difference is clearly not doing you any good. “He’s a very petty person. And when he isn’t being a little shit, he can be a very good friend.”

Taehyung scoffs, seriously getting on your nerves. It isn’t even any of his business. You just wanted to tell him for the sake of sharing with your best friend, not ask for his opinion on any of it. He doesn’t even know Yoongi, never even met him.

“I know what people are like when they’re in love with you,” Taehyung mutters, eyeing the ground. Jimin makes a noise and nudges his friend in the rib, shaking his head while he does so.

 You, petty little you, want to fire back. “Oh, so Yoongi is in love with me now?”

Taehyung opens his mouth, prepared to continue his assault on your sanity when Jimin has to step in, waving his hands in front of you both. “Alright, that’s enough,” he says. “Why don’t we just call it a night and let’s reconvene when everybody is thinking straight, yeah?”

Taehyung doesn’t even look at you. You try to release your frustrations through a loud exhale, but it doesn’t do much. When all of you venture out into the living room to leave, you remember that Jungkook is still here. He looks at yours and Taehyung’s disgruntled expressions, then at Jimin’s face as he not-so-subtly shakes his head, silently telling him to not ask any questions. Poor guy, this was boys’ night after all. You couldn’t have spent more than 30 minutes in Jimin’s office. He was just quietly drinking his beer and watching TV out here, unaware of everything going on in the room just down the hall. Now everybody seems pissed and the night is spoiled.

You bid Jungkook and Jimin a curt goodnight before you head for the door, saying nothing to Taehyung because he clearly doesn’t deserve any pleasantries after tonight. You end up going home with more questions than answers.

You hate this. You hate it so much.

Now that you’re finally starting to actually coexist with Jungkook – of all people! – the other men in your life have to come for your head?

You haven’t spoken to Taehyung since that night, which was only three days ago, but still. It’s the longest you’ve gone without talking to your best friend. You don’t know what was up his ass, and Jimin has just been telling you to not overthink it, that Taehyung will reach out when he’s calmed down. It makes zero sense to you, because how does your situation affect him in any way? What does he even have to calm down from?

With Yoongi, on the other hand… Well, you’re still convinced that he was just being good old insufferable Yoongi. This is how he has always been – teasing, easy going, and has a good rapport with you. That night was just a fluke. Maybe he had too much to drink and didn’t know when to stop the joke from getting too carried away.

You are not fighting with Yoongi. You are not fighting with Yoongi. You remind yourself of this, so that when you see him in the studio next, everything is okay.

Yoongi arrives some time after lunch and brings everybody coffee. You expect him to be lighthearted as always, which he is, and you expect him to sit next to you as always, which he does. He laughs with Seokjin, chats with Namjoon about the art scene, pokes “friendly” fun at Jungkook every now and then. You two work side by side, bouncing ideas off each other like you normally do. He doesn’t mention the dinner, which makes you feel a whole lot better about that night because see? Everything is fine. If everything is fine with Yoongi then everything is fine with Taehyung too.

Some time around 5pm, Yoongi asks if you should all go out for drinks tonight. He gets shot down by the guys though. Apparently no one is up for after-work drinks on a Tuesday night.

“You’re no fun,” Yoongi grumbles before turning to you with hopeful eyes. “Y/N?” he whines, “Indulge me like you usually do, please?”

“No, thanks,” you decline. You glance up in time to see Jungkook quietly chuckling to himself. “Today is my self-care day.”

“Tuesday is your self-care day?”

“Because tomorrow is Wednesday. I have a pre-Wednesday routine.”

“Did I ever tell you that you’re very weird about Wednesdays?” Seokjin asks.

You hum in thought for a moment before answering him. “You did. And then you told me a really bad dad joke.”

He makes an exasperated Ahh noise as he recalls the very moment, then blasts his booming windshield wiper laugh when he remembers the joke he made. “Hey, that joke was killer!”

“It absolutely was not! The only decent one that I’ve heard from you is–”

“No, no, hey,” Yoongi cuts in, “don’t entertain him and his stupid jokes. Come onnn, you know I hate drinking alone. Go for a drink with me, princess. You used to be my drinking buddy all the time.”

“Uh huh,” you scoff. “And look where drinking with you got me.”

“I allow fraternizing in the workplace as long as I’m still the priority, guys,” Seokjin chirps in. 

“That’s not what I meant,” you say quickly. “No one is fraternizing with anybody!”

Yoongi hums quietly. He drops his volume, just for your ears. “No? Is that your answer then?”

“What?” you whisper. You don’t know why you’re whispering. You just do it because Yoongi is doing it.

“You kinda ran out on me the other night.”

“I didn’t–”

He gives you a look.

“Okay, maybe I did… but only because you were being ridiculous!”

Yoongi licks his lips and tips his head toward the door. He’s the first one to stand up and head out of the room, followed by you half a minute later. You appreciate him wanting some privacy for you two to talk, but you don’t like that this is a conversation that needs privacy. You were all just joking around in there. If this is still a joke, why is he leading you out here?

Walking out the door, you hear Seokjin call after you, “Fraternizing!”

“That is not what’s happening!”

You find Yoongi in the empty breakroom, leaning against a counter.

“You can drop it now, Yoongi,” you say.

“What?” he tilts his head, looking at you curiously. “You still think I’m messing around?”

“Obviously.”

“Why is that?” he asks. “What makes that so hard to believe?”

It’s what Taehyung asked you the other night too.

Because you’re you! is what you almost say. It’s the same answer you gave Taehyung, because, well, do you even need another explanation? You don’t tell him that though, thinking it might offend him somehow. Instead, you throw him a question.

“Okay. Sure. Let’s say that you are serious. What happened? When did you even start liking me? Why are you telling me now?”

Yoongi exhales gently, straightening up to walk closer to where you are. He stops when he’s right in front of you, looking right into your eyes and using the same voice he did that night. “I always liked you. I liked you last year when we first worked together and I like you now. The only difference is then, you weren’t trying to move on,” he says, so unwavering that it makes you stagger.

That… is not what you were expecting. You blink up as he smiles down at you fondly. You feel lightheaded. Maybe even scared, because what if he means it? He sounds too sincere for it to just be all fun and games. You remember the way he held your hand when he made you put on that stupid fancy lotion.

His voice keeps lowering, and you hate that it makes you nervous. Your stomach twists, your heart pounds against your ribs.

“If you’re moving on now, can’t you do it with me?”

Looking back now, were there signs that you should have noticed?

You stand there, processing, not knowing what you should say to him, not really even breathing anymore. Yoongi must interpret your silence as realization, recognition, because he chuckles, again amused by your reaction.

“Yoongi…”

He stops you, though you weren’t going to say anything else. You feel like you could cry. Maybe he sees it in your eyes. Yoongi pats your arm gently, still smiling. “I’ll let you sleep on it, princess.”

When he leaves the room, you keep standing there by yourself. So Taehyung was right? Your friend who has never had a single interaction with Yoongi, who has only heard about him from the stories you shared, could tell that there was something there? That Yoongi had feelings for you all along?

At the dinner, Yoongi said you were always oblivious.

Is it possible that you really had no idea, or did you just force yourself to look the other way?

That night, was he hurt? After you repeatedly dismissed him and eventually walked out?

Oh, Yoongi…

When someone enters the room after you’ve been standing here for what feels like forever, navigating the sea of your own thoughts, you startle to life.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks, eyeing you as he goes to fix himself a cup of coffee.

“Yep, mhmm,” you respond. You try to shove away all of your unraveling emotions. They could wait until later.

You have no idea why you’re still standing here, watching Jungkook make coffee with his back to you, but that’s arguably a better idea right now than to go back to the studio where Yoongi is. 

“You know,” Jungkook starts, pressing the buttons on the fancy coffee machine that you don’t know how to use. “I don’t think it’s very professional. Y’know, Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”

You stare at his broad shoulders with your brows furrowed, already on edge even though you don’t know what he’s referring to.

“What?”

“I don’t think it’s professional,” he repeats. “Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”

“When has Yoongi ever flirted with me?” you ask. It’s meant to sound sarcastic and defensive, hoping he’ll take the hint to back off but really, now that you’ve said it, it’s a question that you yourself would genuinely like the answer to.

“Admit it,” Jungkook says, turning around to face you. “It’s not like he tries to be very subtle about it. All the nicknames, always complimenting you, even when he put his hands all over you the other day right in front of us! There’s no way that you’ve missed the way he looks at you sometimes.”

You blink a few times, not sure if you heard him right. You hope your brief silence gives him a chance to backtrack when he sees how offended you are, but he just stares at you. Jungkook really does have the worst timing, and it doesn’t take long for your anger to overflow. Moving forward together in peace lasted a whole week, huh?

“Even if Yoongi is flirting with me, how is it any of your business?”

“It kinda is my business, though, isn’t it? Considering he does it at my place of work.”

Oh, he’s gotta be kidding. 

“Okay, it’s your place of work,” you hiss. The steam rising from his fresh mug of coffee might as well resemble the cartoon-like smoke churning from the top of your head. Jungkook seems taken aback by your reaction, but honestly, what the hell did he even expect when he said something like that to you? “So you fucking the receptionist must be so professional, right?”

Paling about a hundred shades, he looks like you just poured a bucket of ice cold water over his head. The gulping throat, the parting lips, the guilty eyes and his whole demeanor exuding shock and embarrassment, because Jungkook didn’t know that you knew, let alone foresee that you would throw it in his face. He stands there, dumbfoundedly muttering, “How– Who told you about that?”

You ignore his question. Why does it even matter who told you? If you were less angry, you would be more curious as to how he thought this was going to go. Why would he say something like that out of nowhere? 

He said he deserved your rage? He wanted you to be mad? Fine. Be careful what you wish for.

You feel sick to your stomach and he would come to you and say shit like that. Like Jungkook can dictate anything about your life. Like he has the right to fuck things up and leave when he’s had his fun.

Your sinuses burn when you speak next. “You don’t see me running to you, whining about how Jihyo always looks at me like she wants to gouge my fucking eyes out. How she’s always so nice and bubbly to everyone but then when it’s me, she acts like I ran over her fucking dog.”

Yeah, he definitely wasn’t expecting this reaction.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

“No, just save it. You talk a big game about trying to do right by me and then you go and say shit like this. How many times do I have to tell you? I’m so fucking tired.”

People often say that you should never make decisions when you’re angry. No one wants to end up regretting something they said or did in the heat of the moment. You’ve always thought that this is good advice, and you always try to live by it because you know your temper can get the best of you sometimes.

The keyword here, though, is try.

You run a hand through your hair, feeling infuriated at this point because Jungkook keeps fucking explaining himself, even though he’s the one who started this whole thing. You can’t even properly hear what he’s saying, all of his words going into one ear and out the other. Something about it not meaning anything and ending it with her months ago. 

You take a deep breath and look into his panicked eyes.

“You’re such a fucking hypocrite.”

You think he’s apologizing again, from the way his lips form the words I’m sorry, but your pulse is ringing so loud in your ears that you don’t really catch the sounds. The anger inside of you still simmers despite having spilled over. Your face is so eerily calm that you hope it scares him. When you turn on your heels to leave, you know he’s following you back to the studio. You sit back down beside Yoongi but you don’t meet his eyes. You keep your gaze trained on the open notebook, nursing that anger.

You should’ve known that there’s no moving forward with Jungkook. If anything, he just wants to tie you to the past and never let you leave. Is he that immature, that selfish that even after all this time, after what he did, he can’t stand the idea of you and someone else?

You briefly make eye contact with Jungkook from across the room before you turn to Yoongi, your voice loud enough for everyone to hear.

“On second thought, that drink does sound nice,” you tell him with a smile. “Pick me up at 9?”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted december 31, 2022]

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagines #bts x reader #bts x you #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bangtanbathhouse #btscarnivalnet #btshoneyhive #clubzerooclock #52hertz #fic: our beloved summer

[blue-jisungs]

i keep thinking about like seo yul who has been hired to be a personal guard to the reader. and she's either like the daughter of a rly noble family or a princess just someone rly highly established in society who needs protection

and yul falls in love as soon as he sees her, he's literally so whipped he would do whatever she asked him. and once she realizes that he's not gonna tell her what to do like everyone else in her life, she starts to fall too. and like he helps her sneak out and they're just idiots in love <//3

LIKE U JUST KNOW YUL WOULD BREAK THE RULES WHEN HES SO SO IN LOVE CAUSE HE DID IT BEFORE AND THAT THOUGHT MAKES MY BRAIN GO CRAZY SKDFJSK

training // calming balm

author's note. HI ZANNA CUTIE THANK J FOR THE YUL REQ LIKE I NEEDED RHAT IN MY LIFE!!! i hope u enjoy it bc personally i feel like it isnt the best thing i’ve written :(

summary. yul falls for you // soft moments w yul as your guard

word count. 3,6k

“a bodyguard?” seo yul repeated in disbelief, eyes wide and directed at his uncle. his voice echoed in the wide room as the older man just nodded.

“the l/n family just moved here and they’re a well respected people. their daughter was raised not to cause any harm and live peacefully; therefore, in case of an attack she wouldn’t be able to protect herself” park jin explained calmly. yul just nodded “it’s not going to be a permanent occupation, only until the time they find a professional guard for their daughter”

“i understand” yul bowed gently.

“i’m glad. we’ll pay them a visit in a while, i’d want you to go with me” park jin announced. his nephew didn’t say anything, just nodded. the older watched him leave the room almost as quietly as a rustle of wind.

yul was smiling gently while talking to your parents, genuinely invested in why they moved here. the tea that was served was truly delightful and he couldn’t help himself but ask for more. when the discussion topic turned into a political one, the young mage looked around the garden. the gazebo they were seated in was cozy and prettily decorated, you could see the majority of the open space with one’s bare eye.

suddenly, yul saw a movement behind the peony bushes. he straighted his back and his hand rested on the grip of his sword.

eyes trained on the bush, he frowned upon hearing some voices.

out of the blue, someone fell from the bushes with a yelp. everyone looked that way, lady l/n letting out a huff.

“there she is… gods, this child will make me die because of an heart attack one day” she mumbled.

indeed, there was a young lady standing in front of the peony bush. she was dusting off the pink flower petals and leaves from her pastel purple hanbok. everyone could notice she was saying something to herself and seemingly, she didn’t realise she wasn’t alone.

“this is our daughter, y/n” your father sighed.

you looked up and suddenly saw the four people’s gazes on you. blood of embarrassment rushing to your cheeks, you approached them.

bowing gently you greeted the guests and a young man caught your attention. it seemed that you caught his too – he was staring at you in awe.

“greetings” you mumbled and refused to look at the unfamiliar people.

“where have you been– you know what? i done even wish to know. this is your new bodyguard, seo yul” your father pointed at the young man in light purple hanbok. you smiled upon realising it had the shade as yours. sending him a nod, he bowed.

his face was truly handsome and being honest, you were glad it was him and not the older man seated next to him.

“it is my pleasure to meet you. i promise, a single hair won’t fall off your head as long as i’ll be guarding you” he said softly. his ebony irises were glued to you, enchanted by your beauty. park jin just lifted the corner of his lips in a smirk, noticing how smittened his nephew is.

“and your name is…?” you asked, ignoring the look your mother sent your way.

“seo yul, lady l/n” the brown haired man replied, his feline-alike features causing you to study his face. then, your gaze fell upon his plum-shaded hanbok with tender, blueish sewings forming peonies. how ironic.

“i like your hanbok, seo yul” you smiled and bowed, then looked at your parents “i still need to unpack my baggage so if you’ll excuse me, i shall get going”

they just nodded and dived back in to the conversation whereas the young mage’s eyes followed you until you disappeared inside the house.

you were so pretty and graceful yet – unlike choyeon – you had a rebellious spark in your eye. something in you just intrigued seo yul and he didn’t even notice when he tried to drink from an empty porcelain cup.

the young mage arrived at your residence, the warm sun heating up his skin pleasantly. the fresh air was filled with the scent of flowers that blossomed in the garden, the birds’ singing beautifully filling in the silence.

someone from the servants led him to your chamber and knocked gently, looking at the new addition to the staff.

“lady y/n is very… childish. please, don’t be afraid to tell her no if she has an ridiculous idea or a foolish request” they said. yul frowned and suddenly the door opened, your maid looking the man up and down.

“you may come in” she said and yul stepped inside.

“who is it?” your voice rung in the room yet you weren’t nowhere in sight. only when your maid came to the folding screen and stepped behind it, he realised you’re there.

blush hit his cheeks and he shook his head.

“it’s seo yul, lad–” he started.

“we’re the same age, i assume. please, don’t use any of the honorific words and nicknames” you hummed and then said something to your maid “this ribbon, please”

yul looked around the room. he didn’t spend much time with noble women except choyeon, yet he thought it’s something known that women tend to be tidy. well…

maybe your room was somehow clean, it definitely had it’s own charm. history books on the floor, along with calligraphy supplies. horse-themed ornaments scattered on the wooden furniture, makeup tools next to a pretty mirror and… empty plates.

“can you show me around the city today, yul?”

his gaze snapped up and he felt his face get warm when he noticed you caught him staring. but there was no anger or disgust in your eyes, no. pure amusement and excitement.

“of course” he nodded, taking in the sight of you. today, you decided to wear a faint yellow hanbok. the sewings at the bottom of the dress were gold and formed a beautiful scenery: young deers, forest plants and wild birds. the rest of the clothing, including the frame of your sleeves, was white. there was a yellow ribbon in your braided hair.

“we shall go, then” you grinned and energetically stormed out of the room. he looked shocked at the maid. the older lady just sighed, dramatically wiping her forehead.

“good luck” she just mumbled and seo yul chased after you, with a love-struck smile.

“so? what are you going to show me? can we see the mage place?” you asked, not even turning around when you heard his footsteps approaching.

you knew he’d say no: you heard that only mages were allowed to enter the place and after all – sadly – you were no mage.

“sure, i’ll take you to jeongjinjak. but be aware that the mages might not be too pleased to see you there” he answered casually and just when he caught up with you, you halted your movements. yul realised he had to stop and turn around, blinking.

“really?” you asked in disbelief, lips forming into a huge smile.

“of course, why not?” seo yul returned your smile.

“i thought… ah, it doesn’t matter. we should go, then” you hummed happily.

yul already knew that he won’t be able to resist you.

“oh my, it’s beautiful here” you sighed when you entered jeongjinjak. the place was spacious and quiet, the air filled with a feeling of seriousness and a scent of old books “do you live here?”

yul nodded, his hand intertwined behind his back as you two strolled around the place carefully.

“my uncle is in charge of this place” yul added. passing by some young mages that were training, you sent them a sweet smile and bowed gently.

they all stared at you in awe, immediately losing focus and stumbling over their own feet. giggling at that, you failed to notice the disapproving look yul sent them.

“i always wanted to at least possess the power ryusu” you hummed sadly “but my parents were never willing to find me a teacher, even though they know some of the stages themselves. selfish, isn’t it?”

you turned to yul and his apologetic smile. there was a certain softness in his features, a look that was different to what you always stumble upon. most of the people assumed you’re a spoiled brat and treated you this way. but yul was the only one who didn’t: he was carefully listening and genuinely cared about what you said.

“i can teach you the basics, y/n” he offered and before you could burst out with happiness, he quickly added “but it must remain a secret between us”

“of course it will” you grinned and quickly went to hug him. you realized your actions and froze, feeling ashamed of your impulsiveness. seo yul noticed that and his heart ached with a strange feeling. were you taught to suppress your emotions? “thank you so much, yul”

“it will be my pleasure, la– y/n” he smiled, ebony irises glinting with happiness. you held eye contact for a mere moment longer before there was a sudden bang.

it was the mages in training who were just staring at you and didn’t notice that they tripped over the edge of the passage.

spending time with yul became a part of your routine. however, it wasn’t a negative thing. you loved his company; for the first time ever you felt like you had a friend. someone who truly cared for you.

a knock at your door caused you to smile. yul had a specific pattern of knocking – it sounded like a tender melody, rhythmic but pleasant to listen to.

“come in!” you hummed, finishing braiding your hair. your guard entered, bowing and scanning your figure (not so) secretly.

“good morning” he hummed, stepping in. you could read it on his face that he wanted to add something but halted from doing so. ‘you look stunning today’ was what lingered on his lips, albeit his shyness prevented him from wording it out.

“what should we do today?” you asked, tilting your head.

you adored seo yul – he always kept up with your ideas and temper. most of the maids were old and always too tired to even take a short walk. even though he wasn’t your maid – and certainly, he wasn’t old – he never had a problem with taking strolls around the city or showing you the neighbourhood . sometimes it included walking through hills, high grasses and small rivers. but he was always willing to do so.

“is there something particular you wish to do?” he asked, his tender voice calm as always.

“not really, no” you shook your head.

“then, we could go–”

he wasn’t meant to finish when your mother barged into the room. her face morphing into relief when she noticed you.

“you’re here, good. do not leave the house today, i heard there are some… civil commotions in the city. and it’s been dangerous lately” she said and her eyes met yul’s. he bowed “oh, you’re here. you can go home now. y/n’s not leaving the household today”

“but mother, i–” you started.

“no. it’s too dangerous” she cut you off and left, the maids closing the door behind her.

yul watched your features grow sad and his heart sank. you lost your excitement, eyes gradually fogging with a strange, bland emotion.

“it’s fine. i’m not in the mood anymore, you can go home” you mumbled, turning your face to the window.

“i’m not in the position to disobey your mother’s orders, however i’m your guard” yul offered and carefully studied your reaction “and not to brag or be overconfident, but you’re going to be safe under my watch”

there was a ghost of a smile dancing on your lips as you played with the hem of your hanbok.

“mhm… and what if my parents found out?” you hummed, cocking your eyebrow.

“i’d take the responsibility” yul said seriously. shaking your head, you stood up.

“no need, i was just teasing you. shall we go, then? where are we going, anyway?” you asked.

“to the market. i believe you haven’t seen it yet, y/n?” he asked with a tender smile.

“no, our maids do the duty of providing food…” you hesitated and stopped yul before he left. his eyes widened when he felt your hand on his chest “how are we going to leave? it’s the middle of the day, everyone will see us”

“just trust me, lady” he hummed and slid his hand to grab yours “may i?”

you nodded. yul’s gentle and smooth hand took in yours, as if scared that he’ll cause harm. blush spreading across your cheeks, you looked away and let him lead you.

seo yul was like a cat – his moves were sharp and calculated, paying attention to if someone is coming or not. in no time, you left through the back door and the garden. finding yourself in the middle of a busy street, you looked at him with wide eyes and a smile of gratitude.

“i’ll be using this route” you grinned and saw a flash of fear go through his face.

“no, don’t do that… you’ll get hurt or…” he started and you let out a gasp, drawing some passersby’s attention.

“what is that? that colorful thing? wait, yul, are those parrots?” you yelped in excitement and he couldn’t help but laugh sincerely. his features dropped when you ran off.

“wait a moment!” he giggled, adoring your excitement.

yul walked you through the market, explaing who’s selling what. the delicious smells and colors surrounded you, mouth agape as you took in all the amazing views. the young mage was stealing glances at you and how adorable you were while doing that.

“oh, the sweets!” he hummed and noticed you look that way curiously.

“can we get some?” you asked.

“of course” he grinned, hands interlocked behind his back. he followed you slowly while you already approached the seller. eyes meeting, you stood closer to him once yul arrived.

“what are we having? my treat!” you grinned “all of them look delicious…”

“my favourite are the pine pollen tea ones” he mumbled shyly, pointing at the greenish cookies.

“well then, we’ll have each one of everything” you hummed and noticed the seller’s eyes widen.

“ah, yul!”

you both turned around and saw a man with blonde hair approach you. while yul was distracted, you said something to the snack seller.

“what a beautiful lady… my name is park danggu” the blond man bowed dramatically as you stared him up and down.

“uh-uh. nice to meet you, i’m l/n y/n” you smiled and frowned, looking at yul. he just smiled.

“that’s a friend of mine” your guard explained and noticed all the snacks are already packed, waiting for you. suddenly, yul had a strange feeling ache in his heart: he did not want you to talk too much with danggu. “shall we go home?”

“oh, already?” you pouted, grabbing the bag. yul took it from you, fingers brushing against each other. blush spread on both of your cheeks. danggu smiled upon that.

“yeah, i’m busy either way. i will see you around, yul. don’t come home too late, though” danggu wiggled his brows and was off before yul could even say something.

“he’s silly” you snickered and poked his arm. yul seemed flustered.

on your way back you chatted all the time. you decided you won’t go anywhere once you’re home, so you dismissed yul to go back (only after thanking him for his company, of course).

once back at jeongjinjak, yul was surprised to see a package addressed for him.

it turned out you bought all the pine pollen tea snacks for him and had them delivered at his dorm.

the mage couldn’t help but melt and smile absentmindedly at the gesture.

for a couple of days yul was dismissed from his duties: your parents gave him some spare time and you said you’re not in the mood to leave the house. it left him pondering if something is wrong and decided to ask you if everything is alright.

the time he spent without you made him realise something: life is bland when you’re not by his side. you’re so lively and energetic, yet so adorable at the same time. he missed you and had this tingling feeling in his heart whenever you weren’t around. yul was looking forward to the day he’ll meet you again.

after finally coming back to his duties, he went right away to your chamber. it was late and dark outside but a messenger called him, saying it was urgent. the mage thought something dangerous was happening.

“y/n?” yul asked, coming into the room. there was a couple of candles lighting up the room, shadows dancing on the walls.

“yul! let’s go out!” you whisper-yelled, grabbing his hands. a pleasant warmth spread through his body before he processed your words.

“what? i thought it was an emergency and you got hurt…” he mumbled.

“no, no. i’m fine. just bored to death… are there any horses…?” you asked hesitantly.

“h-horses?” he choked out, eyes widening. you shrugged nonchalantly.

“i feel like going on a horse ride”

you are insane.

“sure, we’ll find something” he scoffed, shaking his head. he shouldn’t be doing this; none of this, at all. he’s about to sneak out with a lady he was supposed to protect and do something that could potentially harm you. which, he was here to prevent in the first place.

but he couldn’t help it! he felt like you put a spell on him, he just wasn’t able to resist.

“we shall go then, my lady” he hummed. good thing the room was dimmed, otherwise he’d see how your face reddened with a shade of ruby-alike shade of the yin and yang jade.

yul held your hand gently and helped you leave through the window. erupting into quiet giggles when you almost stepped on his feet or when you passed the peony bush where he first saw you. under the cover of dark night sky, yul led you to a nearest stallion. he looked around, making sure no one saw you.

“y/n, do you even know how–” he turned around and gasped when he saw you already on the horse.

“can we go to the pretty fields? please…” you mumbled. yul nodded slowly and hopped on a horse too, leading the way.

“we should be back before sunrise…” he mumbled. there was a look of calmness in your face, almost unfamiliar.

wind in your hair, the sound of horse hooves pleasantly clacking against the ground underneath the starry sky caused your heart to soothe. the smell of fresh grass and yul’s silhouette beautifully framed by moonlight – it was a moment that you wanted to stay in forever.

arriving at the fields, you stopped next to a small stream. the water was rustling pleasantly, hypnotizing you. yul realized that you stopped following him and turned around, looking at you. something was troubling your mind, clearly.

“yul-ah”

even in the faint light you saw his eyes widen. cute.

“yes, y/n?” he asked, voice gentle.

“i think i… no. um, actually, no. i’ve been practising ryusu! can i show you?” you asked and he nodded, locking his hands between his back.

you put your body strength on your legs, focusing to keep your moves sharp and clean. chest moving up and down to keep your breathing regular and steady. just when you thought you got it–

“y/n, i think… my heart longs for you when you’re not present but then it acts as if it was possessed whether you hold my hand… i’d rather look at you than all of the stars or beautiful ornaments” yul said, his words carried by wind.

letting out a shaky breath, you looked at him. moonlight shining on his handsome face and somewhat scared eyes.

“why did i say that…” he mumbled.

you let out a melodic laugh and ran up to him, wrapping hands around his neck. yum was startled but held you gently.

“you fool” you mumbled, smiling against the fabric of his hanbok “my heart calls out for you too. i’ve been meaning to say that for while, that’s why i needed some time alone”

“huh?”

you leaned away and gently grabbed his face, cupping his cute cheeks.

“you’re the only one who understands me, yul-ah. i bask in your warmth and kindness, your spirit makes me feel alive– can… can i kiss you? i’m out of words” you asked. yup nodded shyly, unsure what to do with his hands.

placing your lips on his plump ones, he instinctively wrapped hus hands around your waist. pulling you closer and smiling softly into the kiss.

when you felt like you were running out of your breath, he pulled away.

“you need more training though…”

a frown formed on your face and he snickered.

“with ryusu?” you asked, unable to believe he just said that.

“no– well, yes. if you train your breathing, you’ll be able to kiss longer” a smirk danced on his lips “or the other way around. fortunately for you, i can help with such matter”

suddenly his eyes widened, the flirty behaviour disappeared in a blink of an eye.

“don’t tell your parents. or my uncle. we’re kind of… breaking the rules”

“i won’t” you smiled sweetly and tip-toed to smooch his cheek.

years spend alone without friends or love, barely with your parents caused your heart to ache in a mysterious and hurtful way. but now, with yul by your side, a soothing feeling washed over it as if someone put a calming balm. a balm called love.

masterlist <3

taglist. @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @primoppang ,, @dazzlingligth

#alchemy of souls fluff #alchemy of souls fanfic #seo yul fanfic #hwang minhyun #minhyun #fluff #fic #fanfic #minhyun x reader #hwang minhyun x reader #minhyun fluff #minhyun fic #hwang minhyun fic #hwang minhyun fluff #seo yul #yul #alchemy of souls #aos #aos yul #alchemy of souls yul #alchemy of souls seo yul #seo yul alchemy of souls #seo yul fic #yul fic #seo yul fluff #yul fluff #alchemy of souls fic #kdrama fluff #kdrama fic #kdrama

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Friendship Bracelet: Eddie Munson

Stranger Things Masterlist

word count: 800

Request: reader made him s friendship bracelet back when they were really young (both like each other but never said anything) and one day reader gets really distant from eddie and hes confused and confronts her and readers just like you stopped wearing the bracelet (but really he lost it bc hes so unorganized)

You noticed things that most people didn't, your mother used to joke that you should be a detective with how well you notice things, an example of said skill was when you noticed that your best and crush Eddie had stopped wearing his friendship bracelet you had made for him in elementary school and him vowing to never take it off only now he did which made you think he didn't want to be friends anymore which hurt you. You knew people grew apart but you had always hoped you had Eddie would be friends if nothing else ever happened between the two of you.

Eddie on the other hand had been freaking out when he realized he took it off and didn't set it on his dresser with the rest of his jewelry like he normally did. He had spent all weekend tearing apart his room, and his van and even checking the auditorium and woods, to see if he had taken it off and set it down somewhere and forgotten it. He was so upset and guilty that he had taken off in the first place and was scared to tell you so he didn't say anything praying you wouldn't notice but when you stopped hanging out with him so much and became distant, he knew he had to fess up.

"Hey sweetheart, can I ask why you've been so distant lately? I feel like I haven't seen you in a while." He said as you two sat in your room.

"No reason it's actually pretty stupid." You said.

"I'm sure it's not stupid because whatever I did, obviously upset you and I need to know how to fix it because I miss you." He said placing a hand on top of yours.

"You stopped wearing your bracelet...so I thought maybe you didn't want to be my friend anymore." You said quietly making Eddie's heartbreak hearing how hurt you were.

"I knew I should've just told you....I lost it and I feel so terrible about it.....I took it off and don't remember where I put it and I had hoped that maybe I would've found it before you realized and I realized how stupid that was... I'm sorry I swore I never meant to lose it." He said.

"So you aren't trying to get rid of me?" You asked.

"Never in a million years sweetheart! You're stuck with me forever and I'm determined to find that bracelet if it's the last thing. In fact, give me your hand." He said as you took his hand watching as he wrapped his silver chain link bracelet around your wrist.

"This will serve as the new friendship bracelet while I look for mine....that way you know that I still want you around and would literally die if you weren't around." He said making you laugh at how dramatic he was.

"I appreciate it Eds, really but you didn't have to do that." You said looking at him.

"Of course, I did, can't have no one thinking your available to be their best friend." He said watching how you played with the bracelet, making him wonder about a few other things.

A week later Eddie had been playing his guitar when he dropped his pick on the floor, so he set his guitar down and picked it up but saw the bracelet you had given him. He couldn't believe it had been here the whole time, it must have fallen under there and he had not realized it. it. He picked it up and slid it back on his wrist excited to show you.

You were finishing up your shift at the record store ready to get some sleep when you saw Eddie coming barrelling into the store which woke you up. He climbed over the counter so that he was standing in front of you.

"Eddie what are you doing? You know you can't be back here." You said.

"I know I know but I just had to show you this." He said holding out his hand and showing the friendship bracelet that you had given him all those years ago.

"You found it?" You said looking up at him which a huge smile on your face.

"Sure did. I guess I took it off on my bed and it fell underneath my bed. I was so happy that I had found it that  I had to come and show you." He said beaming at you.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader

[we-love-morioh-cho]

No bc why did Johnny just suffer non-stop for his entire fucking life - he was abused from a young age by his shitty dad, he saw his brother die and blamed himself for it, became disabled because of an extremely minor offense during a time period where being disabled was especially hard, was abandoned in an abusive hospital and disowned by his dad who should KILL HIMSELF, made a single (1) friend only to watch him die, had the chance to bring his friend back dangled in his face, the whole fucking ordeal with alt. Diego, fell in love and had 2 kids BUT THEN IMMEDIATELY his wife started to die, stole the corpse to heal her (going against his agreement with the only 2 people from the race he had left) but then his fucking son started to die instead, finally he died by getting his head crushed by a fucking boulder at the age of only 29????!!?!??!?!?!??!!

Like he just suffered constantly and never really won and never had the life he deserved but despite EVERYTHING he showed such remarkable resilience and KINDNESS throughout his life, he SAVED Lucy and his family and loved animals and hoped for things to get better despite it all and fought so hard and came so far and even missed and grieved for his ENEMIES because of how much the race meant to him and it was all destroyed at the end despite everything he did and his legacy continued on but they'll never know what we know and its been 100 years and he's been dead for so fucking long and has faded into an old folktale and all the characters from SBR are GONE and the world has moved on and time has passed and the inheritance of curses, burden and trauma through the bloodline and I miss Johnny so much and he unknowingly set in motion the curse of his descendants all to save his wife and then his son who he cherished despite being abused by his own father and how different would everything had been if he just received the love he deserved from his family and oh my god he's just like Jonathan and Jolyne and he acted out of pure love even if it went against everything he'd previously fought for because he is so incredibly human and even though he's gone and his descendants will never know him, his sacrifice and love and resilience persists through them and we know that but they can't and -

#steel ball run spoilers #jojolion spoilers #reading jojolion #joestar family #mine #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #text #gif #emotional #analysis #steel ball run #jojolion #johnny joestar #whywhywhywhywhywhy #sorry this is an incoherent mess but jesus christ #some of this is bordering on headcanon but idc I'm going through it rn seeing what became of johnny my friend johnny #I knew we saw his death in part 8 but barely knew the details... so much worse than what I was expecting #haven't finished jjl yet please god don't add more context to make this shit worse please #I at least know lucy shows up later in a flashback but I'm so scared now #because if lucy suffered after sbr for even a moment I'm throwing myself into traffic frfr #you think this post is bad you just wait for that

[levmada]

hello! how are you? hope life's going well for you!

I have a little question.

so, as we all know, there has been a lot of speculation on whether Levi's a virgin or not.

and I've read your personality analysis of Levi (which, omg, bless you, I love) and his mental issues etc...

but here's my question, according to your analysis and your opinion, do you think he is a virgin or not?

also, there's that part where he says that he was "popular enough" with women...what do you think he meant by that? idk why, but I believe he meant...maybe (perhaps (perhaps)) he meant how closely knitted he was with Isabel and *maybe* petra?

and thank you to all the contribution you have made to us levussy worshippers 🫡

and by the way! I love your account!<3

hiii :D that’s so sweet😭😭😭🫶thank u for reading :’)) i’m also happy to answer this lol.

i’ll start with that dialogue!

the “popular with women” bit of dialogue isn’t quite translated correctly into english. it’s more like, when it has to do with men and women, the implication Zeke makes is romantic. the limits of the language - and probably whoever's in charge of PR - default romance to men and women. women isn't the literal term in the japanese dialogue.

but the question is attraction and not general popularity.

while you could argue that the implications of the conversation matter the most - so Levi (self-proclaimed) was popular in the romance scene - you must also consider that Levi had to say he was popular enough, or else he would be proving Zeke’s accusation right in that Levi doesn’t know other people’s feelings.

(although, he is popular to people behind the walls, but i’m getting off topic.)

proof of all that bc my summary is bad🫶

if Levi did seriously answer Zeke in that moment, just knowing Levi and his avoidance of relationships, especially romantic ones as far as is shown in AOT, he would’ve likely answered generally because he could, instead of feeding into Zeke’s attempt to fluster him lol. and of course he could've lied, again, so that Zeke couldn't get the satisfaction of being right or flustering him.

any way you cut it, i don’t think he had anyone in mind.

😅just to get it out of the way for those who don’t know i guess cuz it’s a popular piece of trivia, isayama has never confirmed whether Levi is a virgin.

sex is innately intimate. no matter if you’re just seeking momentary pleasure - which Levi doesn’t seem like the type to do - it’s both intimate and exposing. Levi just wouldn’t engage in casual sex.

especially in the underground and the negative associations he has with sex, mostly as it has to do with pain and suffering - very, very most likely, at least, and supported by what we’ve seen of the bad boy manga so far when some attackers threatened him as a child to make him “do what his mother did”. and Levi would never run the risk for disease.

(also assuming condoms exist.)

like i talked about in that analysis, trauma, in this case being exposed to sex at a young age, doesn’t simply go away, and also it exacerbates other things like distrust and an unwillingness to be vulnerable in romantic relationships.

so if it were to be someone, it would have to be someone Levi has a close bond with and trusts implicitly. someone who’s a Scout, then, but you also have to consider that romance just comes second on principle - at least to Levi whose top priority is always his duty.

his most selfish act after joining, this also being a show of affection, was letting Erwin rest (from his perspective), instead of forcing him back into hell.

so i mean - REALISTICALLY, IMO - for Levi it’s really not as simple as candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach ykwim?? there would be no love confession, only his actions which communicate his devotion or saying “”simple”” terms like “I trust you” or “I need for you not to die on me.”

sorry i’m getting so off topic.

ANYWAY. in my opinion, based on what info is allotted in canon, to me he is a virgin : )

#fanfiction aside #levi ackerman #levi aot #snk levi #snk levi ackerman #levi ackerman aot #snk hc #levi ackerman hc #aot meta

[chickenskins101]

mike wheeler

okay so with all these set photos coming out and these arguments between byler, and mileven, i think it’s time we start focusing on MIKE WHEELER.

people think that he is some b!tchy dude who is mean to his friends but people always forget that he has trauma too. but see, his trauma isn’t exactly from the upsidedown itself like wills, els or max. his comes from everyday struggles and i am here to speak my truth about that.

let’s not forget how heartbroken that kid was when his BEST friend will disappeared. I mean we’ve all seen that one scene where dustin and lucas are arguing and he’s in the middle look so depressed. for a whole week, he’s looking for will. this guy tried to 💀 himself. yeah yeah he did it for dustin, and im sure that’s part of it but for his teeth? they were baby teeth too. but he lost el, had a big fight with lucas, his best friend is still missing, and is living on one ounce of hope that will is alive after seeing his “dead” body dragged out of the water.

he grows a connection with el, then loses el. on the positive side, he did get his best friend back, but that doesn’t change the trauma we went through. but how can he express that trauma? i mean, his best friend is suffering from bullying and the side effects of coming back to life all year. how pathetic would it look to him if he started going, “when you went missing, i went through hell.” not to mention he couldn’t talk abt that to his mom or sister because barb didn’t come back. nancy has to deal with losing her best friend. at least mike got his back. that’s all that is going through his mind.

when el comes back, he can’t talk about the depression he went through after knowing what it felt like to lose will, and then to lose el for a whole year. she’s got all this trauma from the upsidedown and the lab. once again, he would look stupid if he started talking about his depression.

then his best friend and girlfriend move away to the other side of the country. cleary that destroyed him. i mean he prob thought that he would have will and el his whole life. will, who he has known for like what a decadeish? is gone. can he mourn, be sad, tell his friends that his two favourite people gone is killing jim from the inside? no! and why? because max just watched her step brother die. (i’m not a big fan of that arc cause he was literally so abusive). anyways max is going through it, thinking about what she could’ve done, isolating herself from lucas and the party. he once again probably would feel selfish if he were to mention that in front of his friends.

eddie was his friend too. cleary, he looked up to him in some shape or form. but he knows that dustin was closer AND had to watch him die. mike, wasn’t there for yet. he’s probably going through it too, knowing that someone he cared for is gone. does he even know that eddies dead yet? (pre s5 time skip). but dustin had to watch him die so it feels like him mourning would be more pathetic cause at least he wasn’t there. he can’t be as sad as everyone else when max his in the hospital bc he isn’t close enough like everyone else. that’s one of his best friends girlfriend, he has if way worse.

people forget that will and el weren’t the only ones bullied!! (dustin and lucas are also forgotten, that’s a post for later!). he was bullied his whole life too. he almost died because he was bullied. bullying, especially at a young age will affect you. i’m not excusing any of his fights he’s had with el or will, but apart of trauma and not getting help for it, means you are going to act as what you hate the most.

even the unrelated upsidedown stuff makes him look pathetic. his dad is there physically, but not emotionally. that would put a toll on anyone, having a dad that is never trying to bond or connect with you. but can he say anything about that? wills dad abuses him, dustin doesn’t have one and max had hers replaced with an abusive stepfather.

his whole life, he felt like his trauma want important enough because everyone has it worse than him. i am not shaming any other characters for their trauma, their traumas are just as important. what im trying to prove is that he isn’t some butthole teenager. he is a teenager who feels alone and keeps his feelings hidden until they explode.

plus, if you are a byler fan or a queer mike truther, you can add on to the fact that he probably hates himself for being some different weird losers who wants to be with his best friend, a man. that probably breaks all rules he grew up with.

add all these things tgt, and you get a very emotionally drained teenager who needs help.

(all the kids need therapy, srsly, why is max the only one in therapy. each kid has gone through sm, im not dissing them or ignoring their trauma, everyone’s trauma is equally important and ill make another post about each character in the future).

i really hope they talk about his trauma and depression, this dude has gone through and yet feels like it’s not important enough.

#mike wheeler #byler #mileven #stranger things #st5 production #stranger things 5

[pinkandpurple360]

whats funny about asmodeus in demonology is that (with the exception of sarah), hes actually one of the more chill demons. less malevolent spirit and more huge troll. like he overthrows king solomon for funsies and fucks his mom before getting his ass whooped. hes so intelligent that heaven, earth, and hell alike let him visit to study at their schools. his greatest weakness? is fish (?).

and hes one of the few demons to show compassion towards humans, to an extent. in the talmud theres one story where he sees a wedding and cries and you assume its bc he hates love, but its bc he had a vision that the groom would die and leave his young wife a devastated widow for the rest of her days. he also helps guide a blind man who would have fell just bc he felt that he didnt deserve it (and then the same thing with a drunk guy but for less altruistic reasons - he was like “if i help him god will look favorably on me” lol). in scriptures, hes credited with granting humans luck, knowledge, health, and, of course, great sex. some texts and modern pagans describe him as a protector of women, and theorize that he may have been “protector” of sarah (in a fucked up way, ofc)

tl;dr if one of the sins is going to be a “nicer” demon/chaotic neutral, asmodeus actually makes a lot of sense based on mythology

(sorry for the infodump i love weird demonology facts, and am disappointed viv doesnt really use them outside of aesthetics)

That actually does sound like Ozzies characterisation in some ways. I always love reading info like this~ I too am an info dumper after all

He’s silly and he’s oblivious at times, but somehow more intelligent and observant than most, protective, very passionate, and will make fun of others for not pleasuring women. “Get a load of this dweeb and his unsatisfied bride” one of my favourite lines. I hope he is later shown to be protective and chivalrous towards women because we could really use a character like that in the show. It’ll break my heart a lil if he ever calls a woman a bitch.

I think magician was a pretty good choice for his place in the circus troupe. This dude loves pranks and roasting people, his stories about the wedding, Sarah, and the blind man are genuinely tear jerking I’ll have to research them.

Um anon…think about what you just said because…the Eternal Bachelor has that title for a reason, he seems hostile towards love and is an immortal being who is with a mortal s/o, one who he is extremely protective over. Remember when he said “baby, all I got is time” ? Oh no..Ozzie you’re such a tragic character

On a lighter note…

Did you just say his weakness was…

Fish?

FISH???

VEROSIKA YOU ARE SO FIRED FOR THIS ONE

forget your use of obvious aphrodisiacs and trances

If they ever make a callback to this scene, and have Ozzie having a freak out about it I’ll die cause it’ll be so goddamn funny. Don’t forget humans caught this on camera.

#helluva boss #Asmodeus

[snazzilystoopid]

Ninjago little sister AU, pt. 3~ Jay's turn!!

This is kinda longer than I thought it would be but I hope yall like it anyways <3

Hope you all enjoy 🤭🤭

Gwendolyn "Gwen" Gordon

She hates the name Gwendolyn with a burning passion, so most people just call her Gwen.

Jay calls her Lyn most of the time

So basically Gwen had no idea that Jay existed up until the space of time between Possesion and Dotd

(To make space for when Skybound would've taken place)

Gwen was born a year after Jay, and their mom decided to leave Jay at the junkyard because once she divorced Cliff, she wanted to keep them both

Unfortunately she wasn't able to take care of two young children by herself and made the difficult decision to give up her eldest child

She was leaning towards keeping Jay at first, because he was the one who inherited her elemental powers

She ultimately decided to keep Gwen, bear in mind her taking the children wasn't agreed between her and Cliff

So "Johnny Law" (as Kai calls it lmao) got involved and Libber was forced to hand custody over to Cliff, whom Gwen has lived with ever since

Up until he died obviously

Yes he did still die even though Skybound technically didn't happen

Anyways, Gwen grew up in a very fortunate household, though her father was distant due to his job and because he'd much rather hang out with other random women, models, etc

So she's raised by herself, more or less

Nothing really special happened in her life before she met Jay. She goes to school like any normal kid would, she also becomes a fan of the ninja (like any normal kid would)

Just like her dad, Jay was her favourite (but she didn't know he was Cliff's favourite because its his son ofc)

But one thing stood out throughout her younger years and it was that she wished she was taken by her mom, not her dad

Because he never paid attention to her

When Cliff passed away, she got a hold of his will and was a little confused as to why half of it wasn't in her possesion

She wasn't actually living in the mansion when he passed, by this point she had gotten an apartment of her own (with her dad's money 😭)

Meanwhile Jay still gets the letter that his dad died

Only this time he knows it's not Ed, it's Cliff

So Ed and Edna give him the key to his mansion, at the same time, Gwendolyn also makes her way to the mansion and unlocks it first with her spare key

Jay shows up afterwards and explores the mansion for a bit, looking at the places he hadn't already been to, before finding Gwen's old room

Little did he know that she was already in there

When he opened the door, Gwen grabbed a replica of his nunchucks and threatened him lol

Because she was confused as to why there was another human in her dad's house

Jay explained that Cliff is his birth dad and he was left at a junkyard blah blah blah

By this point Gwen realised she was related to the Lightning Ninja and she actually squealed

Poor Jay is so confused but Gwen explains that she's Cliff's kid as well, and she's lived with him for most of her life

So they hug and Jay cries bc hes emotional like that

Gwen takes him on a little tour of the house, she doesn't know that Jay's already been here but anyways

They go back to her apartment and she tells him all about her crappy childhood with basically no father

Jay cries some more because he then realises that his sis had to grow up with essentially no family

He offers to take her to visit Ed and Edna, and she agrees

(Yes this is still happening between DotD and Possesion)

The Walkers feel so bad and basically become her second parents

She still lives in her apartment, but she would come over to visit them a lot during the events of DotD and HoT

So after Wu gets lost in the time stream, Jay and Cole go looking for him

But before Jay leaves, Gwen gets to meet each of the ninja first because her bro wanted to flex that he's got a little sister

Even though she keeps telling him they're only like 14 months apart

When she was introduced to Cole she nearly had a heart attack

She has the BIGGEST crush on this guy

Once he left she wouldn't shut up about him and that really pissed Jay off

She met Nya last, and Jay at first introduced her as one of his friends

Jay left the room they were all in for like 5 minutes and thats when Nya explained that her and Jay were actually dating

Gwen didn't mind but then after that they became besties hehe

Gwen and Jay stay in touch while he's away looking for Wu, and she's the first person he visited when he got back

During that time she had become a Mechanic like Ed

They played video-games for like 3 hours straight

At the beginning of Hunted, Gwen joins the resistance as a mechanic

But she was kinda bitter about the whole thing because at first she thought her bro had been squashed like a bug by Garmadon

He was ok but still after that she just stopped admiring the fact that he was a ninja

She hated the idea of her only birth family left being in constant danger

Ed and Edna tried talking to her but she always refused to visit the monastery

So whenever they wanted to meet up it had to be somewhere in Ninjago City or at the junkyard

Nya texted her when Jay got sucked into Prime Empire, having a literal meltdown

Then the rest of the Ninja (minus Zane) get sucked in

Gwendolyn was pretty pissed off and she stormed right up to the monastery, yelling at Master Wu, who had no idea what the hell was going on

But then Zane explained she was Jay's little sis and she got even more pissed off when he said "little"

She basically cussed him out for letting him get into all this trouble and him being in danger all the time

After Gwen calmed down Wu explained how it was completely Jay's choice but this girl didn't give a shit

She ended up helping them out anyways lol

When Jay returned she gave him a big hug and he got all teary-eyed bc he missed her sm 🥰

Just before the Ninja got the letter about Shintaro, Gwen tried to ask Cole out on a date with Kai and Jay's flirting advice

The silly guy didn't take the hint and she was friendzoned

She considered herself pretty good-looking and approachable, and was severely humbled by this

Jay didn't stop laughing about it until Nya told him to stfu

By the end of crystalized, Gwendolyn is the same age as Jay!

Time for more facts hehe

Gwen has brown hair, but she dyes it blonde

Because of this most of the time no one would think that she and Jay were siblings, but if you look closely, you van definitely tell, mostly because of their freckles

Nya and Gwen both do impressions of Jay whenever he's around as a joke

Nya also told her about the events of Skybound, and she's the only other person who knows about those events

Gwen hasn't got any elemental powers, however she, like Jay, is immune to electrocution (meaning it can't kill them, but it can hurt them)

She she has a lightning ninja-themed hoodie that she wears almost everywhere

Whenever the ninja want to have parties (that aren't under Wu's watch) they always go to Gwen's apartment

This basically means whenever they want to have alcohol at a party they always go somewhere else bc Wu's banned alcohol from the monastery 😭

Whenever Cole talks to her she goes really pink in the face, which Jay always teases her about

If someone ever calls her by her full name, her left eye will start to twitch out of irritation

Ed and Edna bought Gwen this blue teddy bear plushie for her birthday, and from then on she never went to sleep without it

She decided to name the plushie "Jaya" after Nya and Jay 🥰

That's everything!! This one was kinda long heh, also sorry if you find any typos in this-

Lloyd is next, prepare for a tragic ending lol

#lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #ninjago fanart #ninjago #ninjago fandom #ninjago fic #ninjago headcanons #cole brookstone #nya jiang #zane julien #jay ninjago #ninjago jay #jay walker #jay gordon #jaya #jaya ninjago #ninjago nya #ninjago libber #libber gordon #cliff gordon #skybound #ninjago skybound #ninjago oc #ninjago au #au ninjago #oc ninjago #ninjago original character #jay x reader #jay x nya #ninjago x reader

[doodlegirl1998]

Oh I remember this point, AT LEAST. Why? I tried to remember last night but forget.

The point is The Boys HQ and Kickass HQ are comics from the 200ish and is basically "Hero is bad" but in the kickass is differently.

Hear me out, bc I hope to make sense (I often say this bc in my mind I have long put essays and translate them to English is a chore)

Kickass, write by Mark Miller is a story of a loser (incel) who is a fan of comic books. There no powers in this story. The mc (forget the name but it doesnt matter) sufferes an accident and undergo a surgery where it made his skeleton stronger and more resiste t. "Ah like Wolverine" yes and no. His skeleton is stronger than mine ans yours but he can die EASILY.

Then once getting this "power" he decides to be a hero....for fame, of course. He also wants to impress the prettiest girl in the HS. And fails, he has no training, no real power and became a joke.

The girl is not impressed and think he is a lunatic( caveat here, dude has a secret id) well, the girl notices his bruises(remember? He can die easily) and is concerned and the mc takes an opportunity to lie and tell he is gay...so he can be closer of the girl. Who took pity of him and became his friend.

Which yes is canon.

Eventually the truth cames out and he got beat up him...

Why am I mentioning this? Bc I want to understand what is the point of MHA. Kickass is a story that says clearly "only a lunatic would want to be a super hero"

But the same logic cant be apply to MHA sense...it is a job, one many people sough for. Then...why Izu is the one getting the shortest end of the stick?

Hori cant claim, like Marl Miller (who is now a nutcase) "hero bad" to justify his own mc'a treatment...so why?

Hori hating his own mc is an answer(sigh, doubt the others mangakas will offer real critics to his writing. The manga community seems to be "fake till you make it") and it ruins his own story. It is possible to make a story where your mc gets karma...but IT NEEDS TO MAKE SENSE. It is amazing Mark Miller made sense in his comic, Hori didnt. And MHA is to be for young boys and family friend, Kickass is a edgy comic book for boys in puberty.

Hi @mikeellee 👋,

Exactly, other stories like you mentioned the MC's did something that made dunking on them somewhat justified I.e the MC of Kickass.

In MHA with Izuku there's none of that so it just feels mean spirited - there's no humour to see him be dunked on and take it with a smile. I find I just feel sad for him especially this moment

What did Izuku do to deserve this? Nothing but be proud of himself but that to the Author of MHA and Bkg himself is enough and warrants... Brain damage.

Yet Bakugou can treat everyone around him like trash, threaten to kill people, physically harm others under the teachers noses and no one, not even his classmates, care. Bakugou gets no slapstick hurt even though he's done more to deserve it than Midoriya ever has.

Wow.

#Mha critical #bnha critical #anti bakugou katsuki #anti Bakugou #Izuku deserves better

[visceravalentines]

Does your job every make you question your own morality? If it does does it bum you out or have you come to accept it better because of your work?

ohhhh what a question. part of the reason i was interested in death work is bc i used to be terrified of dying lmao. i was hopeful that becoming familiar with it would help me come to terms with my own mortality and make it not so scary. and it did and it super didn't lol

mostly yes, you get very comfortable with death. it happens to everyone at some point, all ages, all walks of life. it's completely unremarkable. it's the most normal thing in the world. in that way, you absolutely come to terms with it, and my own mortality no longer scares me even tho i think about death constantly.

the mortality of the people i love, tho.........that scares the shit out of me. there are nights on occasion i can't sleep because i am conVINCED my husband is going to die in bed beside me (he is a perfectly healthy young man). i would prefer none of my siblings ever drive a car or leave the house actually. i dread the day i have to arrange a funeral for a family member, because it will certainly come.

the other thing. is that there are so many ways to die. i have become quite risk-averse. i suppose the easy way to say it is i'm less afraid of dying in general, and much, much more afraid of dying in a few very specific ways.

#asks #anon asks #this was a good one. made me think

[tiniest-puppy-around]

Regressor Eugene + Caregiver Wednesday

Headcanons and moodboard

Requested by @dndjjdjsjsjsjdjchhc

Soo, hope y'all like this one :)

Regressor Eugene just seems soo adorable, and Wednesday would definitely have a softspot for him!

_________________________________________

-He regresses pretty young, around 3-5 but is still pretty talkative

-Eugene tried to keep his regression a secret, but his moms figured it out pretty quickly. They're very supportive of it, though he's not very comfortable doing it in front of them

-Wednesday found out after she stumbled upon a very small, upset Eugene. He was hiding by his beehives after regressing because someone made fun of him in class (which Wednesday pretty quickly stopped from happening again)

-Wednesday refuses physical contact 99% of the time, though she'll make an exception with high fives which Eugene loves giving (and Wednesday doesn't hate receiving)

-They always try to high-five as hard as possible (bcs the stinging sensation is fun ), leaving anyone that witnesses it horrified

-He always tried to hold Wednesdays hand, which for obvious reasons didn't work out, so they compromised by letting him hold onto her sleeves or blazer.

-Wednesday hugged him once, and that was after he was finally awake again. It was only one hug, but it was long and tight and ended with a whispered promise of "I swear, I'll kill you if you die" from Wednesday

-He has an oral fixiation and will put ANYTHING in his mouth (like Wednesday continuesly has to take stuff away from him because he just shoves it in his mouth)

-If he is by himself he usually uses a pacifer, but since he's to embarrassed to use it around Wednesday he uses a teether or his fingers instead

-When regressed he infodumps about insects even more than usual. Wednesday is more than happy to hear all the facts about the most dangerous and scary insects there are (*Excited Eugene:"Wenesday! Did you knows dat because Africanized bees attack n big gwoups dey ofn end up killing people?!" "That is entrancing Eugene, tell me more")

-loves spending time with his bees when regressed and will tell them about everything

-He likes watching them pollinate the plants on Nevermores campus and will just sit and watch them work

-he always waves goodbye once a bee is done and flies away and then goes on to search for the next little bee to watch

-He loves going on nature walks and looking at insects

-after the incident he was very scared of going into the forest and would start crying anytime they got close to it.

-on the one hand Eugene desperately wanted to go back to exploring the forest looking for insects, but on the other hand he was still so scared something might happen to him again if he enters that forest

-Wednesday started secretly reading up on where you can find different types of insects he likes so she could take him exploring in other spots

-When he found out what she did for him he almost started crying out of pure joy and thanked her repeatedly, which was quickly stopped by Wednesday with the Words "Eugene, If you don't stop thanking me, this'll be the last time you speak"

-He has one of those magnification cups you can put insects in and will run up to Wednesday to show her the insects he found

-He will also be very sad everytime he releases a new friend back into nature (*crying"Wha if it misses me Wenesday?!")

-While he can get quite rough when playing while regressed, he's always the most careful when it comes to interacting with his bees and other insects

-small Eugene names (or tries to at least) EVERY insects he comes across, including his bees

-He loves all kinds of books about bees and other insects, be it pretty picture books or books filled to the brim with new facts about his favorite animals

-one of his favorite bee related picture books is "The Honeybee and the robber" (though "the very hungry caterpillar" is a close second).

-At first Wednesday refused to read such a "grossly nice story" but after he continuesly begged her she caved ("fine, but only so you'll stop your abhorrent whining")

-Wednesday would often read it to him while he was lying in the hospital

-He was regressed a lot after waking up in the hospital.

-He ended up having nightmares almost every night after the incident and usually ended up waking up regressed.

-He has a giant sweet tooth that just gets even more prominent when small

-He loves eating all kinds of candy, as long as it's nauseatingly sweet(though fudge is off of his menu from now on)

-He has trouble realizing when he's full so he tends to eat until he feels sick. So Wednesday usually tries to stop him from snacking too much

-he really likes coloring books centered around insects and will spit out fact after fact about the specific insect he's coloring right now ("Look at dis pwetty Ladybug Wenesday! Did yous know dat you can tell deir species by deir dots? Dis one has two so its a Adalia bipunctata!!")

-Wednesday got him a bee plush when he was in the hospital and it very quickly became his absolute favorite plushie

_________________________________________

Alright! I hope you enjoyed, feel free to leave some feedback or ideas in the comments :D

#fandom agere #sfw agere #age regression #ageregression #agere moodboard #wednesday #wednesday addams #wednesday netflix #wednesday agere #eugene otinger #eugene otinger agere #Wednesday netflix agere #agere headcanons

[vividachromatic]

Hiii! Would you write servant nagito x reader where the reader meets servant and he like saves their life, so they repay him witht a hug and by sewing him a plush of him as a animal or something?

Sure(: I love servant nagito hehe (I mean I like every version of him, bc I'm a simp, but yeah...)

I also liked this request, it was fun to write (: Hope you like it.

Also TW for Blood and Death (But it's set in UDG, so...)

Servant Nagito saving the Reader during the Tragedy

-

-

Before the tragedy, you weren't that familiar with blood. With the smell of blood. The sound of screaming and kids laughing at the same time. You never thought you had to see a friend of yours fall before your eyes but keep running.

And running. While not even seeing where you were running, because of the tears blurring your sight.

It was a miracle you were even still alive at this point. But even that short-lived luck seemed to end now. You were running for so long, you couldn't feel your legs anymore. You didn't even notice, when you stopped running, because you tripped at some point. Probably over one of the dozens of bodies lying everywhere.

You only noticed when a certain person, you couldn't recognize was getting closer and closer in your field of view.

Which was weird, because the laughter only sounded like it got further away with time, as your field of view got more blury.

Wait, were you dying?

You smiled sadly, as the silhouette of the person, who would surely be your death came closer.

You touched the wound in on chest and your hand was instantly wet.

Oh, so this was your blood now?

It was unfair. So unfair. There were still so many things you wanted to do. So many people you wanted to make smile with your talent.

Adults and children. And here they were murdering each other. And soon you would be one of the many bodies scattered everywhere.

But it somehow felt peaceful. You already accepted that you were going to die. Maybe it would finally be a little more peaceful…

Your thoughts ended as your field of view turned completely black.

.

.

.

.

.

You only felt like you could move again after you dreamed for hours.

You tried to open your eyes, but immediately closed them again because the light was too bright.

Were you in heaven now? Or any kind of afterlife? It felt so calm. So it definitely wasn't your world anymore. But it strangely didn't feel much different.

You heard something, sounding like a door opening.

Were there doors in heaven?

"So, you're finally awake?" You heard a calm voice ask.

When you tried opening your eyes again, it was still hard, but you tried to keep them open. You wanted to see, who was here with you.

When you slowly sat up and your eyes seemed to have completely adjusted to the light, you saw a frail young man with unnaturally light hair stand before you.

Even though his face looked angelic… you were sure you weren't in heaven. He had a chain around his neck, which made him look like a prisoner. He also had a strange, dark aura surounding him, even when his smile seemed friendly.

"I patched up your wounds. If you want to fully recover, I recommend you not to move too much for at least two days. You can stay at this place. I was planning to leave here anyways…"

Did that mean you weren't dead? Did that man save you?

You wanted to thank him, but he already turned to leave again. "Wait, please don't go yet!" you weakly stammered.

"Hehe…" He chuckled, "Don't worry, I was just going to get you something."

You calmed down again. You didn't know why, but you didn't want to be alone right now. Even though you didn't know that guy and he seemed strange. He saved you. And no bad person would do that, right?

When he entered the room again, he had a tray with food and water in his hands. He handed it to you and you hesitantly took it. He crossed his arms, looking down at you.

Was he just going to stand here, watching you eat?

When you didn't do anything and just blankly stared at him, he grinned. "What? Need me to feed you?"

"Ah, no." You responded and started eating. He sat on a chair beside your bed now, still watching you.

You felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze but didn't want to complain to the person, who saved you.

"Oh, also I'm sorry if it tastes awful. I made it."

And he was right, it didn't taste good. But it didn't taste awful just not really like... anything.

Still, it was the first warm food you'd eaten in weeks. This also made it the tastiest food, you've eaten in a long time. When you finally finished eating and drank your glass of water, you put the tray away.

"Thank you." you finally managed to get out, but he didn't answer you. He just looked at you with the same ambiguous smile he had, when first entering the room.

"I should leave now. There is still food in the fridge. Although you should probably check whether or not it's already expired…" He said while standing up.

"Wait." You grabbed his sleave. You still didn't want him to leave.

He looked at you with a curious smile.

You wanted to properly thank him. You stood up, too, even though the wound in your chest still hurt when moving. When you stood in front of him to face him, he slightly tilted his head.

You wrapped your hands around him in a hug.

You haven't hugged someone in such a long time… it felt good. It felt warm. Even though you didn't really know that person. You felt safe right now.

He froze. But after a minute he gathered himself and awkwardly patted you on your back. You needed, that hug and maybe he did, too…

But you felt that he was stiff and awkward against you, so you stepped back shortly after.

You looked into his eyes and repeated, "Thank you."

His smile was gone for the first time you've seen him. He looked pensive. "You really shouldn't thank someone like me."

He left quickly after.

You didn't expect to ever see him again, but still, you made something for him.

After all, making plushies was your ultimate talent, before all this began. Besides food, you also found all the things you needed to sew one. It was weird… kinda like it was left on purpose.

When you were finished, you were proud of yourself. You sewed a little plushie, that looked like him in sheep form. You smiled. You wondered if you would meet him again to give this to him. If not, you could keep it as a reminder of the person, who saved you.

But you did hope you would see again.

-

Three days later you heard the door loudly opening again.

You haven't left the small empty building yet, as there was still enough food there and you didn't really want to see what was going on outside.

You were scared, of who it could be, so you glanced around the corner.

It was the same boy, who's patched you up before. His knees were bloody, as he stumbled to sit somewhere.

You stepped from behind the corner. He looked up surprised, but relaxed when he saw you.

"So, you didn't leave yet? What a lucky coincidence." He smiled. His smile looked kinda scary. How could he have that expression, when his knees looked like they were literally sliced up?

And how would someone even get that wound? It was weird, but you felt sorry for him.

"Wait, I'll help you." you made your way to him. He looked slightly surprised but didn't resist when you helped him walk to the couch to sit on. He was surprisingly light, so it wasn't hard to let him lean on you, even when you weren't that strong yourself.

When he sat down, you brought the medical kit he patched you up with before.

He was intensely watching you, while you were patching him up.

When you were finished, he didn't thank you, he just continued to stare at you.

You felt a little uncomfortable and remembered, that there was still something you wanted to give him. So you stood up to bring it to him.

When you found it, you made your way over to him again and placed it in his hands. He looked at the plush version of him surprised.

"This is a thank-you, for helping me some days ago… I hope you like it."

He sighed, closing his eyes. "You don't know who I am, right?" he asked you with a weird smile.

Although he enjoyed being temporarily not looked at with fear or disgust, he has to be fair to someone like you. An Ultimate.

"What do you mean?" you asked him confused.

His eyes changed a little. They looked darker now. "I am one of the Remnants of Despair."

Your eyes widened. You knew who those people were. The Remnants of Despair? Did he mean it? He was one of the people, who were responsible for all this chaos?

"That's… surprising. But you still helped me. So, I still want you to keep it." you answered.

If he really was one of those people, you wondered why he even helped you. You probably should have run away when hearing who he was. But he didn't look like someone who would hurt you.

"That's quite the unexpected answer. But at least it's not boring." he gave you a closed-eyed smile.

#nagito x reader #nagito komaeda #komaeda x reader #danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #servant nagito

[psychicreadsgirl]

Hello! Hope you're doing well! ☺️

Can you please do a reading on Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip's marriage? Did they really love each other?

Both of them have already passed away but I today I suddenly became curious!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hi ! Thanks! hope you're doing well too.

Queen Elizabeth II (just going to refer to her as Elizabeth later and Philip bc it's easier to type - not intended to be rude here.) and Prince Philip had their share of ups and downs. As they got older they became more like family members (not really like lovers). They respected each other's space and freedom as they got older. She'd turn a blind eye to a lot of his infidelity and he wouldn't control her and her relationships too. I don't see her cheating on him fully, but there were some friendships that could arguably be said to be more than friends (nothing physical but mental/emotional).

They did share mutual attraction towards each other before they married and shortly after they married. However I see her being really busy with her duties and he too busy with his work before marriage and during their early years of marriage. They were both quite busy people; she especially so. I think the war made them love each other more (before they married) because it made them oddly treasure each other as they could arguably die the next day. After the war settled and after the country became more peaceful, their marriage started to deteriorate - more arguments though never very heated. Elizabeth seemed to always be able to "control" herself because it was ingrained in her since she was young that she had to act a certain way as royalty. This also sort of put a strain on their marriage because Philip felt that Elizabeth never showed her true colours and that she was still in her "role".

Elizabeth always wanted to keep a certain image in front of the public and others. Philip was more relaxed in that sense and didn't really enjoy attending a lot of those public events. I get the sense he wanted to sort of hide in some mansion and do his own thing. I also feel Elizabeth had a much stronger sense of responsibility in general whereas Philip felt like they should just let the politicians run the show bc they're already a constitutional monarchy and they should just relax.

I also sense that they had really different views for parenting, so they often fought about this. Elizabeth in some ways was stricter than Philip, yet she did play favorites, even with her grandchildren. She definitely had favorites and her favoriting led to some poor parenting decisions. She spoiled whoever she preferred too much and so they never learned their mistakes/problems until it was too late.

I also do sense that Elizabeth had to "clean up" some of Philip's bad news/scandals or some stuff he'd say. I think he had some sort of drinking incident(s) or perhaps there were some car incident(s) too. I don't think everything was reported because she managed to clean things up for him. He knew she would always help him because she wanted to maintain their family image. Image to her meant everything so even if a family member did something unethical or illegal she would try her best to save the image of the royal family and of herself.

She would have never divorced Philip because that would be too damaging to her image/reputation (in her mind).

#psychic readings #celebrity readings #celebrity predictions #british royal family #british royalty #queen elizabeth ii #elizabeth ii #prince philip #marriage readings #relationship readings #relationship reading #marriage reading