#and because of a lack of strong figures in his life has a habit of attatching himself to older figures who seem like they share similar

[voltronisanobsession]

Being Keith’s Older Sibling

The urges were too strong to not write this💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

Sorry if there’s some typos, my eyes are in a LOT of pain rn

Being Keith’s older sibling is definitely a hard feat in itself

After the death of your guys’ dad, things kinda went downhill for both of y’all

Your general mistrust and attitude towards people brushed off on little Keith, which comes to play later in his life as we’ve seen he was a more troubled kid

So while you tried your best to be a good role model for Keith growing up, it was hard to do so when all he ever saw from you was your aggression towards adults who tried separating you both

Eventually, social services do separate you guys, claiming that it would be best to allow Keith to grow without your negative influences but the damage had been done

Keith would grow up to not trust many people in his life because of your separation, always finding ways to sneak off and see you at the school they sent you to

It was times like those where you would promise to take him away from this place, from Earth, and live a life where you won't lose each other again

Because of this, Keith also developed a habit of lying to his guardians about his whereabouts because of your own attachment to him, encouraging him to continue this behavior 😭😭😭

Man none of yall knew better😭💔💔

But as you grew older, you, unfortunately, were sent away to the city to continue your studies there, cutting all contact with your little brother

Keith would then take an interest in flying and would go on to attend the Garrison to learn to become a pilot while you made plans every day to once again be reunited with him

I feel like it would take some time to leave the city and go back to your hometown because of the lack of resources available to you

So by the time you reach the Garrison after finding out he's been attending the school, it would be around the time he flunked out and disappeared

Fate is not fair to yall (crying)

So you get a job at the garrison while trying to find Keith and some time passes (YAY TIME SKIP)

After following Lance and Hunk while also finding Pidge on the rooftops, readying to reprimand and write them up, you all see the space shuttle crash and explosions go off, shooting off immediately to investigate

All while you're yelling at them to get back to the building cuz you don't want to lose the only job you have that's near where you think Keith is lurking💀

After seeing it was Keith who caused the explosions, he doesn't recognize you until you all get to the cabin

It's kinda emotional on your end cuz bro

This is your little brother... He's all grown up now, but in a way, he still looks the same. He's so much taller now, his hair is longer, and he would look at you with a familiar distrust you recognized

It was the same look he would give others when you guys were younger

The worst part is that he doesn't even recognize you because its been YEARS since he's last seen you

So it's a bit of a shock for him when you reveal that hey! I'm your sibling! And I've been trying so hard to get back to you for YEARS!

Very emotional as you both hug it out

Like really hug it out, tears and everything

"I thought I would never see you again."

"I never stopped looking for you Keith."

URGH MY HEART💔💔💔💔

After that everything is HISTORY

The dynamic between you both is kind of a weird thing tbh

While you're still holding onto the past and the younger version of Keith you remember, Keith has since let go of what the past held, ready to start a new future with his older sibling in his life

Because you're still holding onto this past, you treat him as if he's still a child and appear somewhat coddling in a way

You're just so excited and happy to be reunited with Keith again that you forget he's since then grown up. He's learned to be independent from years spent alone

And while Keith does miss you as well, he isn't used to having this new 'guardian figure' in his life, only used to the freedom and advice given to him from others, especially Shiro

Speaking of Shiro, I think you would go to him for advice on the blockage between you both since he basically raised Keith after you had left.

He knows Keith better, as much as it hurts you to admit it

Shiro would definitely tell you to give Keith space, to give him time to adjust to the new changes in his life. He's still a teen and is still learning to deal with his emotions, so just give him space to fully digest the situation at hand

You take this advice to heart and tread carefully, which Keith appreciates A LOT

Like imagine you grow up with unrestricted freedom, being able to do whatever you want and just learning to take care of yourself, and then one day, an authoritative figure appears in your life and begins setting up these restrictions. Telling you to be careful, making small rules that break your routine entirely

That's what Keith felt when you began making your presence more known in his life since you believed that you had to keep protecting him from the world

But he's grown up

He shows you that he doesn't need you protecting him anymore

It's bittersweet for you to see him not need you and makes you sad that you missed out on basically his childhood

BUT HE'S SO SWEET IN LETTING YOU KNOW THAT YOU'LL BE THERE FOR HIM NOW AND HIS FUTURE ACCOMPLISHMENTS

AND THAT HE'LL BE THERE FOR YOURS TOO😭😭😭

There's just TOO MUCH I can say about being Keith's older sibling, like it's such a complex relationship I would love to develop more on!!!!

This is literally just the tip of the iceberg but imma cut it short for now

To keep it sweet, both of you know that now you're together again, nothing is ever separating yall again

Space wars and all, you guys know you're stronger together and your bond just grows into a beautiful relationship as time goes on😭😭

#Keith x reader #keith kogane x reader #platonic Keith x reader #voltron x reader #vld x reader #voltron legendary defender #x reader #voltron #vld #keith kogane #Keith vld #vld keith #platonic Keith kogane #voltron legendary defender x reader #platonic voltron

[bethanydelleman]

Manners (following from this post) in Jane Austen's novels. Definition:

"external behavior (especially polite behavior) in social intercourse," late 14c., plural of manner in a specific sense of "proper behavior, commendable habits of conduct" (c. 1300)... Earlier it meant "moral character"

Manners, and the lack of them, matter a lot in Jane Austen's low stakes world where a man's biggest flaw can be rudeness. Here are some quotes from Pride & Prejudice, rapid fire:

The gentlemen pronounced him to be a fine figure of a man, the ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley, and he was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity; for he was discovered to be proud, to be above his company, and above being pleased; and not all his large estate in Derbyshire could save him from having a most forbidding, disagreeable countenance, and being unworthy to be compared with his friend.

“He is just what a young-man ought to be,” said she, “sensible, good-humoured, lively; and I never saw such happy manners! so much ease, with such perfect good breeding!”

"And so, you like this man’s sisters, too, do you? Their manners are not equal to his."

He was at the same time haughty, reserved, and fastidious; and his manners, though well bred, were not inviting. In that respect his friend had greatly the advantage. Bingley was sure of being liked wherever he appeared; Darcy was continually giving offence.

The visit was returned in due form. Miss Bennet’s pleasing manners grew on the good-will of Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley; and though the mother was found to be intolerable, and the younger sisters not worth speaking to, a wish of being better acquainted with them was expressed towards the two eldest.

since Jane united with great strength of feeling, a composure of temper and an uniform cheerfulness of manner

and in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness

What can we draw from this? Like taste, manners seem to encompass both education and natural inclination/personality. Darcy and Bingley are both educated, but one has "happy" manners while the other's are "not inviting". Elizabeth's manners are not "fashionable", but may still be admired. Manners can be pleasing and draw one in, as we also see in Emma:

Emma was as much pleased with her manners as her person [Harriet], and quite determined to continue the acquaintance.

We also have Emma's very vague description of what makes manners "good":

In one respect, perhaps, Mr. Elton’s manners are superior to Mr. Knightley’s or Mr. Weston’s. They have more gentleness. They might be more safely held up as a pattern. There is an openness, a quickness, almost a bluntness in Mr. Weston, which every body likes in him, because there is so much good-humour with it—but that would not do to be copied. Neither would Mr. Knightley’s downright, decided, commanding sort of manner, though it suits him very well; his figure, and look, and situation in life seem to allow it; but if any young man were to set about copying him, he would not be sufferable. On the contrary, I think a young man might be very safely recommended to take Mr. Elton as a model. Mr. Elton is good-humoured, cheerful, obliging, and gentle. He seems to me to be grown particularly gentle of late.

Honestly, Emma seems to almost be using "manners" to justify who she likes, without any real consistency.

However, there do seem to be associated good qualities that make good manners as well, as we see with Lady Russell in Persuasion:

She was a benevolent, charitable, good woman, and capable of strong attachments, most correct in her conduct, strict in her notions of decorum, and with manners that were held a standard of good-breeding.

Another interesting quote:

Mrs Clay had freckles, and a projecting tooth, and a clumsy wrist, which he was continually making severe remarks upon, in her absence; but she was young, and certainly altogether well-looking, and possessed, in an acute mind and assiduous pleasing manners, infinitely more dangerous attractions than any merely personal might have been.

Anyway, I don't have an answer, but it was very fun to run around Jane Austen's novels looking at her references to both taste and manners. I think it's clear that education played a big part in both, that there are proper and improper manners & tastes. Manner and taste seem to both be influenced by fashion. There is a difference between natural and polished. They can be wrong or offensive.

I feel like someone could write an entire thesis about these two words!

#jane austen #question response #manners #word definitions #this is so big of a topic!

[2p-hcmaker]

Please my dear bless us with some 2p Canada body headcanons

2p! Canada Body Headcannons

Matt, much like Allen, isn't very concerned about his body

He takes good care of himself, even if he looks rough on the outside

It's more of an internal care - like eating healthy and working out

"Body is a temple" ideology, without the whole "temple" part

He's pale, but not for lack of trying

He's always outside, but he often wears long sleeves or works in the shade

When he is in the sun long enough, he'll tan just a bit

then burn

quickly

The summer is the worst for him, because it's either get burned or suffer through a heat stroke

Moving on though, Matt is a bear of a man

no pun intended

He's 6'0", heavy set, with a good balance of fat and muscle

(IK an older post says he's 5'11" i wanted to change that)

He's not body-builder ripped, but he's not overweight either

He's got strong bones, and is crazy strong

like superhero strong

okay maybe not superhero strong but you get my point

In his woodworking hobby he's often carrying around heavy equipment and slabs of wood, so muscles are sure to follow

But at the same time, much like a bear, Matt likes to relax and indulge in food, so he's got some insulation too

He's got dirty blond hair that falls just above his shoulders

It's naturally soft, but at points show signs of breakage due to his habit of holding it back.

Usually a short ponytail, but recently he has unironically been sporting a man bun

If he's really feeling bored, he'll cut it, but that's not very common

He knows for some reason people like to play with it, so that's one of the few reasons he keeps it at the length it is

but enough about his hair

lets talk about his body

hair

he's got a lot

the jokes about this man being a bear aren't really jokes

because he's blond they aren't as notable, but they are 100% there

They are most obvious on his arms

If he is self conscious about anything, it's hair on his back

he finds it such a weird thing that human bodies do

and if it get's too long he's got to shave it

He's got no tattoos, but plenty of scars

mostly mundane things, like injuries from woodworking, or tripping

he does have on on his upper thigh he loves to joke about though

a wild night with Allen lead to the two getting blackout drunk, so neither actually know how it happened

but they come up with a different story every time it comes up

Luciano has not yet figured this out

His hands are calloused from his hobby

He takes pride in this though, saying their are proof of a life well lived

Though he wears it like a badge of honor, it makes using phones a bit hard

I don't think he's ever used his fingerprint to unlock his phone

#hetalia 2p #2p hetalia #2p! body hc #2p! hetlaia #2p! hetalia #2p!hetalia #2ptalia #2p! canada #2p america #2p italy #luciano vargas #allen f jones #matt williams #2p canada #2p! america #2p! italy

[thuganomxcs]

✩ — 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

▸     IS  YOUR  MUSE  TALL  /  SHORT  /  AVERAGE? Average but on the short side of that.

▸      ARE  THEY  OKAY  WITH  THEIR  HEIGHT ? Not at all, Yusuke wishes he was taller, not even six feet but at the very least five-eleven.

▸      WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR    LIKE? Soft on most days. Contrary to popular belief, Yusuke's hair IS NOT drowned in gel 24/7. Especially after school was over. The pompadour really was just to sell the fact that he was a delinquent. Once he was down with school Yusuke dropped the gel unless he was attending a pretty extravagant party.

▸     DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR    /    GROOMING? Nah, it's just a few swipes with the comb and he's good to go.

▸      DOES  YOUR  MUSE  CARE  ABOUT  THEIR  APPEARANCE  /  WHAT  OTHERS  THINK ? Not really, if people had a problem with his appearance then he's the type to get in their faces so they could 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠 about it.

✩ — 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒.

▸     INDOORS  OR  OUTDOORS? outdoors.

▸     RAIN  OR  SUNSHINE? rain.

▸     FOREST  OR  BEACH? beach.

▸     PRECIOUS  METALS  OR  GEMS? metals.

▸     FLOWERS  OR  PERFUMES? ....flowers.

▸     PERSONALITY  OR  APPEARANCE? personality.

▸     BEING  ALONE  OR  BEING  IN  A  CROWD? crowds are far too noisy, he'd prefer to be alone

▸     ORDER  OR  ANARCHY? what's wrong with a little anarchy?

▸     PAINFUL  TRUTHS  OR  WHITE  LIES? painful truths all day.

▸     SCIENCE  OR  MAGIC? take a rabbit outta your hat.

▸      PEACE  OR  CONFLICT? for a man that loves to fight he'll still side with peace.

▸     NIGHT  OR  DAY? night.

▸     DUSK  OR  DAWN? dusk.

▸     WARMTH    OR    COLD ? warm (women wear less).

▸     MANY  ACQUAINTANCES  OR  A  FEW  CLOSE  FRIENDS? please, a few close friends.

▸     READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME? playing a game.

✩ — 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS? Lack of respect for personal boundaries, impulsiveness, hardheaded, perverse, procrastinator and stonewalling.

▸      HAS  YOUR  MUSE  LOST  ANYONE  CLOSE  TO  THEM?  HOW  HAS  IT  AFFECTED   THEM? The first person he truly lost was his Ancestral father and to be honest he was confused on what he felt. As he stated himself he was more than ready to hate and disregard this person because of what he had to deal with in his life. But even during their first meeting, the man MIGHT have been aggressive but he was more of a father than Yusuke's actual human father and that's what has him conflicted. He felt that Raizen had been stolen from him before he's gotten the chance to ever get to know him and THIS spawns a certain aspect to Yusuke's character where he would bond with strong older male figures. A way for him to find the father that he desperately craves.

▸      WHAT  ARE  SOME  FOND  MEMORIES  YOUR  MUSE  HAS? Playing in the park with his mother when he was VERY young, the first day he's ever met Keiko, the night of his wake when he realized that there are people that cared for him..they were few but it was enough, the first big mission success being a spirit detective because he''s not only saved the souls of children but perhaps there's actually something HE can do with his life, there was a day Genkai took him out in the forest and taught him how to survive off the wilderness.

▸     IS  IT  EASY  FOR  YOUR  MUSE  TO  KILL? Too easy actually, and it's for this very reason he keeps his powers locked away, so something like that would never happen in the general public.

▸      WHAT’S  IT  LIKE  WHEN  YOUR  MUSE  BREAKS  DOWN? Yusuke is repressive by nature, While people will probably never see him break down (unless they're a lover or something) he does really get distraught. Everything he's withheld for so long all comes spilling out simultaneously and Yusuke just weeps sometimes.

▸      IS  YOUR  MUSE  CAPABLE  OF  TRUSTING  SOMEONE  WITH  THEIR  LIFE? Yep, and if that's your muse then they should really consider themselves special because putting his life in someone else's hand is definitely not something he practices often.

▸      WHAT’S  YOUR  MUSE  LIKE  WHEN  THEY’RE  IN  LOVE? He's not really THAT much different. He's still incredibly rough and perverted but all of his perverse antics will be aimed towards the person he's in love with. They would also receive random meals throughout the week, bento boxes too.

tagged: @adversitybloomed (thanks for tagging yo boy)

tagging: @infintasmal (botan), @universestreasures (yugi), @monmuses (yuri), @belovedblossoms (mitsuri), @fatexbound (rise), @crimsontwins (sera), @eternalbxtterfly , @chibitantei , @electricea , @ofhardknoxxx , steal it homies

#❛ dashgames ━━ everyone's tough talk til the hands clam up.

[catlokis-blog]

Tell me about how Bubby also has NPD I want to hear your ramblings

alright!! there might be some moments of mischaracterization (i feel like that's not the right word but i'd be framing him differently than the intention yk?) because i haven't rewatched hlvrai for a hot second! but!! here is my bubby narcissist theory, brought to you by someone with the disorder

probably the most obvious one is that bubby is EXTREMELY self-centered and confident. to a nearly satirical degree. he's often described as "crass" or "egotistical" because he's constantly talking about himself, how good he is, & talks huge about himself because he made to be the ultimate lifeform, duhh.

but it's also been shown he has some STRONG self doubts in the extent of how "perfect" he really is in moments of weakness, it's especially highlighted during his betrayal arc (ill come back to this) once he's been brought into his tube again, but it's also even highlighted during small moments in the commentary when he would stop praising himself briefly to doubt "is my plan working?" before immediately switching back to "yess, yes, im the best"

he's also been shown to be a compulsive liar towards tommy a lot with his "classic pranks" which is a habit that can come in a lot of npd patients, usually as a form of self-preservation or some other defense mechanism. (benrey also has a similar symptom here, where his memory will rewrite events to be biased in his favor! but this isn't about him)

his short temper and somewhat bitter attitude can also be easily taken as a lack of empathy for those he doesn't consider "on his level", so to speak, noting strong disregard to anything gordon really has to worry about - this doesn't mean he doesn't have his moments, however, just that he shoves it to the side a lot

another thing about his temper - he's very destructive! narcissistic personality disorder comes hand-in-hand with destructive anger issues, usually targetted towards the thing that's causing them the most frustration, but it could also really be anything (such as the random scientists he decides to kill)

probably the thing that solidified it the most for me was the concept of the betrayal arc as a whole, though. his only reason for going with it because he was convinced that nothing was his fault - but it had to be someone's, because people with narcissistic personality disorder can really struggle to figure a "that's life" kind of thing. he immediately pointed the blame to gordon once he realized gordon had failed the experiment, and instead of benrey helping correct his misleading train of thought, he fed into it and led bubby to assist in getting gordon's arm chopped off

something that, may i add, bubby did not want to happen!

npd is often caused by trauma, which could easily be a result of his tube and being a case of study, but that's more of a theorizing part.

i think the main reason why i take all of this as a personality disorder headcanon and not a "he's just a little charmingly shitty" way is that even once he's redeemed these qualities never go away - and nobody seems to mind that. nobody is constantly telling him that he needs to "fix his attitude" - they just learn how to understand him :)

this is kind of thrown together very like... haphazardly i can't explain it all very well BUT that is my opinion!! bubby npd haver

#tldr hes emotional self centered easily manipulated slightly delusional and very insecure deep down which we see small hints of #which is EXACTLY what its like to have npd! #hlvrai #dr bubby #cats asks #cats thoughts #OH AND AN ADDDITION #hes also very defensive when people point out ''flaws'' #like how when his head is in the cieling he immediately goes like oh i like it there leave me alone #and when he turns into a car he deflects #half live vr but the ai is self aware #bubby #doctor bubby

[toyota-supra]

I told this to Winter before but I’d like to post abt it for a bit

I think a lot about how Mobile Suit Gundam is a show about distance in the same way that Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam is a show about the lack of distance.

Spoilers for both shows after the read more.

In Gundam, there are only two factions at play, both acting at the ends of human-habited space. Their enemies barely show contact with each other, as they rarely exchange communications between battle.

In the White Base, it is a whole ordeal to for its crew to even get contact or support with the rest of the Federation at all.

Char, the Red Comet, first real enemy of the White Base, disappears from the show for a very long time, with barely any news of him, leaving both characters and viewers unsure of his return.

One of the biggest aspects of drama in the show are a pair of siblings, separated for years, struggling with their own sides in this war.

The most notable exchange of touch between two characters happens in the last episodes of the show, between rivals that had violently fought each other countless times before, barely knowing the face of one another for that entire time.

Even in the figurative sense, Amuro’s journey is all about separation. From his home, his father, his mother, and everyone that’s ever cared about him. It is only near the end that he truly holds onto that connection that he has with people, after he’s lost so much already because of that distance. Some of this show’s most powerful episodes were at moments when someone straight up left their friends behind when they shouldn’t. Some of Amuro’s worst regrets were at a time when he was separated by a locked door from everyone else that could help him.

The conflict in the show is called the One Year War, damn it. It’s all about a long time, a long travel, a long way from home, etc.

Now think about Zeta Gundam.

The show starts with Kamille watching two of the closest people die in front of him.

The two rivals from before, 7 years without hearing from each other, now exchange words and drinks in person.

Now all the factions fight over smaller territories, instead of the larger encompassing space of the one year war. And they do this with Mobile Suits that actually talk to each other. Strong enemies in battle, instead of barely seeing each other as people, intimately know how who they’re fighting against look and sound like. They often meet outside of their Mobile Suits. They exchange punches, kicks, and sometimes even words of understanding.

Something I noticed from the first few episodes is just how narrow the corridors in those ships are. I never noticed this in the other show, but in Zeta, most corridors shown are barely two people wide. It is physically impossible to go past someone without some kind of dodging around them.

Because of this, intimate encounters in the hallways are also very common. Kamille and Fa, the only people in the show who would be at each other’s side no matter what, when or why, hold each other like it’s as natural as breathing. A strong embrace, something that in the previous show was a season-ending scene, was now just a small piece of the lives of these two.

People in Zeta don’t die in explosions, their bodies never found. They die in their comrades’ arms, outside of their Mobile Suits, and their hopes and dreams move on to help their friends not fail at living.

The final death of Mobile Suit Gundam is when a man shoots someone he’s hated for his entire life from afar with a rocket launcher. The final death of Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam is when a boy flies his ship directly into the chest of the man who doomed him and all of his loved ones that day.

I have nothing else to say here, I think. Just wanted to get that out there.

#mobile suit gundam #mobile suit zeta gundam #zeta gundam #gundam

[lady-of-endless]

❤️ Matchup trade for @imjustabeanie ❤️

Author's Note: I'm sorry it took a while, I really wanted to be sure of those choices. You have an amazing and complex personality and I enjoyed talking to you in private!

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

I ship you with...Kakyoin Noriaki!

- At first, he would be drawn to you because, in some aspects, you're a bit similar. He thinks that this will be a plus in getting along with you. But once the differences arise, he keeps getting surprised (in a good way) and getting more intrigued, as a result.

- You two are respectful to each other and that makes him feel more comfortable around you. But, however comfortable feels when he's with you, he still is a bit reserved. Both of you are a bit reticent about opening up. A slow burn.

- First of all, he sees a good friend in you. Any romantic feelings will be considered later on. 

- Kakyoin gets easily flustered by your playful attitude around friends. Also, he's pretty confused when he sees you bite your lip so often. He'll try to figure out the reason for it without acting like a creep. He's just naturally curious.

- He gets a bit concerned when you isolate yourself from time to time. He starts overthinking about it and how he can show you that he's there for you if needed. He has expressive eyes and you'll start noticing worry in them.

- He's the most loyal both as a friend and as a partner. Loyal and extremely careful of your needs. Whether it is some space or some cuddles, he's there. He just cares about you so much and wants you to feel alright.

- Kakyoin is very attracted by your honesty, ambition, and ability to speak up for yourself. He feels that he lacks some of these traits and wants to learn from you. He won't say it, of course, but he'll pay attention to your reactions.

- Expect getting random gifts from him, delivered by Hierophant Green. He thinks he's smooth. And all of those gifts are in tune with your aesthetics, he pays attention to the little details. You'll get books, new video games for you to play with him, trinkets that remind him of you with stars on them or marine life themed, etc.

- I can't put into words how thrilled he'll be to share some of your hobbies. Above all, he'll always ask what you're reading and will listen closely, visibly interested. You two will have amazing conversations. You'll learn new things from each other. Plus, I get the feeling that he also likes stories with mad and ambitious scientists.

- Can I just add how much of a power couple you would look when you're both earning sunglasses? Damn. But leaving this aside, he loves your aesthetics.

Demon Slayer

I ship you with... Sanemi Shinazugawa!

- He likes the way you carry yourself at first. He thinks you're strong and resilient. However, after a while, deep down he slowly becomes suspicious of you. You never seemed to let out any sign of vulnerability and that can't be real, he thinks. He starts to pay attention a lot more and realizes that you're bottling up everything. He does that too and knows it's not easy and it's a habit more or less.

- Sanemi will never force you to share anything with him, about you, your past, or any concerns. He'll just sit next to you, minding his own business and cleaning his katana as a silent reminder that he's there if you need to let it all out or distract yourself.

- He also doesn't open up at all about his past or his true self. However, I can see him letting his walls down in front of you when you patch yourselves up after a tough mission against demons. It's a precious bonding moment.

- He is also reckless but the difference is that you're a bit more calculated than him so pull him back a little if he goes off the limit. He's not going to like it, but deep down he knows that it's sometimes needed and he even feels somehow grateful that someone is there to temper him a bit.

- Sanemi is all about duty but also a little bit of mischief. That means he can't hide a smirk when you rile up other people. He's even going to team up with you to verbally destroy those who tried to tease you or other bullshit.

- I think that bit by bit as he discovers how competitive you are, he gets extremely attracted to you. He likes this trait but also finds it a challenge at the same time.

- It saddens him to know that you don't consider yourself a good person but won't admit it. At least not directly. He's going to protect you from risky hits during battles, arguing that you're much of a better person than him and so you should watch out for yourself more. After that phrase during the battle, he won't say anything else that day.

- He sees that you can handle challenges properly so Sanemi will be thrilled to train with you, however, expect him not to hold back.

- You value honesty? That's exactly what you'll get from him. Cuddles? Be extremely patient about that. It will probably happen for the first time when he's exhausted, too tired to go against the idea.

- He is genuinely baffled when he hears you speak in multiple other foreign languages. You'll see him stop in his tracks frowning, eyes wide. He'll ask if you dared to make a joke about him in another language. lol

#matchup trade #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba

[marslikesmovies]

Community headcanons. Yes, it's my current hyperfixation.

Jeff Winger:

-Has ODD(Oppositional Defiant Disorder)

-Everyone thinks he's a narcissist but in reality he's just self sufficient

-The entire study group thinks he's secretly rich

- Firm believer that sexuality is fluid and has definitely explored its.. options...

-Lactose intolerant but is oddly insecure about it

-His leader position in the group comes from his need to be in control because he feels like any factor in his life that was out of his control went wrong.

Britta Perry:

-First, I wanna say her character was absolutely ruined. She had so much great potential.

-Uses activism to make her feel good about herself but after Annie and Shirley wanted to become activists, she felt like she lost her individuality. She stopped paying attention.

-She has a strong need for everyone to like her and has a crippling fear of abandonment.

-She thinks her real issues are with her dad but really, they're with her mom.

-Queer.

-She thinks she's the mom friend when in reality, it's Shirley.

Abed Nadir:

-He's probably the most complex character in the series. Also I consider him to be a comfort character so this is partial projecting..

-Daddy issues.. kinda canon

-He knows he's on the spectrum even though in the show he never gets/got a diagnosis because the thought of actually being different and not just having small "quirks" scares him.

-He understands and has romantic feelings but can't pursue them for long periods of time, he's probably scared of commitment and only commits to the study group because they're all so different that he doesn't feel excluded.

-Also canon, but he despises change.

-Craves physical touch but only from Troy.

-He has selective mutism.

-Maladaptive daydreams.

Troy Barnes:

-ADHD

-Codependent on Abed because he lacks self awareness and Abed being uncomfortably self aware helps him feel balanced.

-His crush on Britta was platonic.

-He can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic feelings.

-He's terrified of being alone.

-Part of him thinks he and Abed are more than friends but part of him really doesn't want that.

-Pansexual.

Annie Edison:

-ADHD

-Lesbian.

-Her crush on Jeff was purely comphet and stems from her parental issues and Jeff's parental position in the group.

-Her parents were probably homophobic and she tried coming out but then later just pulled the "I'm confused" card.

-She was in therapy but she stopped going because she had to pay for it herself.

-She's the "therapist" friend, but gives pretty bad advice because she has too many of her own problems.

Shirley Bennett:

-Hyperempathetic.

-She thinks everyone's problems are her responsibility.

-She uses religion as a crutch but has questioned her faith a considerable amount of times.

-Making food is therapeutic for her.

-The actual mom friend but hates the pressure of being a maternal figure.

-Scared of failure and projects that fear onto her friends.

-She has a bad habit of deflecting.

Pierce Hawthorne:

-Insufferable bastard.

-When Jeff graduated he wanted to take the "dad" position since he had always wanted kids.

-He had one wife and they were married for 2 months, he just says he has seven because he thinks he sounds cool.

-Has been to rehab numerous times.

-Thinks he can relate to the study group but the study group thinks he's utterly insane.

Chang...:

-He was bullied as a child.

-No sense of self and is always trying to find an identity.

-After his wife left he searched high and low for what's wrong with him, he's just eccentric.

-All of his elaborate stunts are because he wants to be noticed because he has a fear of being forgotten.

-Bisexual.

I'm not putting the dean. You can't make me.

#head canon #community #tv shows

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

How were they at school? What is their best subject? What is their worst subject? Do they have a favourite subject?

Isaac: Okay, fine. He admits he was kind of a teacher's pet. The annoying kid whose hand shot up in class to answer all the questions. He didn't stand out in a lot of other ways, so let him have this. He always enjoyed and scored high in language, spelling, and reading, but lagged in math. He wasn't terrible at it, but lacked interest and forgot a lot of it when not actively using it for a class.

Renato: He only went to school from ages 5-10, and doesn't remember much about it. He had to wear a uniform, which he hated, since it was a private Catholic school. The nuns were generally kind he thinks? After the break, nature and life were his teachers. His parents tried to impart knowledge on him, and employed people who had been teachers or professors to tutor him in math, science, language, and writing. He did well enough, though he preferred learning more hands-on skills: diving for pearls or crustaceans, sailing, hunting, fighting, growing plants for food, etc.

Dorian: They hated doing homework, and had trouble with turning in assignments on time, but aced exams and could easily retain a lot of information. If not for their parents and a couple of caring teachers finding ways for them to adjust or work around that, they might not have done so well in the school system as they eventually did. They especially loved natural sciences, of course, and went all in for science fairs whenever there was one. Although they appreciate history too, they knew what was taught was mostly bullshit and resented the watered down curriculum until they got to college.

Kinslayer: They didn't bother to become literate in whatever languages they spoke half the time. Oral tradition and knowing who to talk to served just fine mostly. Learning to read only really became a habit because of poetry. They realized they could glean emotions and impressions from the owners of written works--sometimes even from the author. It was different from listening to something being recited or performed, but could be just as powerful in its own way.

Vess: She was never a particularly strong gleaner as far as living things go, but she can track down just about anything, animate or not, wherever it's hiding. Her memory is sharp, and she always had a head for figures.

Ankaris: The adults around him were exhausted by his constant questions. They could never answer him to the depths he wanted to delve, so he started to experiment on his own. He excelled at gleaning, communing, leading, dredging, splicing, and, of course, breaking. He never could get the hang of repairing. Maybe some day.

Fior: Anyone can blunder about in a human's mind like a pack beast in a crystal cave. The true measure of skill is whether one can do so while leaving the subject unaware. She has such a light touch she could splice or fabricate whole scenarios in a human's memory with minimal doubt or suspicion as a result. It's not as fun watching their natural reactions, but such manipulations are useful to create certain situations that might not arise otherwise.

Return to list

#a question a day #writing

[daguerreopher]

Hii! Could I please ask for I,K,P, and Q for headcanons a-z

thanks!!

[alphabet]

I - Inventor - How creative is their thinking? Do they seek out the opinions of others or rely on their own ideas? What’s their problem solving approach?

Joseph actually isn't the most creative. He can work with existing materials and he's a decent problem solver due to his perseverance. He's good at photography because it uses what already exists. Joseph is very much science minded, and enjoys experimenting with things.

But he has trouble coming up with new things, or creating original art especially. He can paint what he sees and knows, but painting original pieces is difficult for him. Claude was the far more creative twin, and Joseph laments this fact when the topic of art comes up.

K - Know It All - Are they a Know-it-All? Do they actively seek out new knowledge? How do they behave around others how have a great amount of knowledge on a topic?

Joseph is a know-it-all with chemistry and photography, and when it comes to how to act properly. He also has a little bit of a know-it-all habit with painting due to having painted for years before he figured out how to take pictures.

But when it's clear others actually know things and he doesn't, Joseph takes an interest in them and what they're saying. He has a thirst for knowledge and absorbing all he can. Joseph might not seem it due to his lack of emotion in reality, but he does love to learn.

He's willing to tolerate people he considers uncouth and rude if they can teach him.

P - Philosopher - Are they particularly philosophic? What do they believe is the purpose of life? Do they have any particularly strong convictions or ideologies?

Joseph isn't philosophical in a traditional sense. But he has quite the strong belief that humanity can overcome anything, and that even if the various gods had a set limitation and design for humans, humans needn't follow.

He also has quite the strong belief that death itself should be overcome. Joseph believes that no one should need to die. That everyone should be saved, even if it means they can't actually do much. He believes death is the worst fate for a person.

Q - Queen - What kind of leader are they? Are they entitled? What have they inherited from their parents? How powerful are they? Do they act superior towards others?

He may have been a good leader at first after inheriting his city from his parents (as he was still a count in England), but after he discovered photography, Joseph was quite a poor leader.

We know from his second character day letter that his trip to get his "mysterious books" was the start of Joseph's major sanity slip, and that by the time Macaulay got there, Joseph spent nearly all his time taking and developing his photographs of people. I think it's safe to say that he stopped actually ruling the city once he started capturing people, and that would've had quite the effect on the laws and economics of it. So little wonder that, combined with people "vanishing", led to enough unrest that they mobbed his house.

He's still a good bit entitled because of his noble upbringing and a good bit traumatized from it, but Joseph's lost pretty much all of his social and legal power. That happens when you get run out of your position. He's still a good bit stuck up, mostly manifesting in his choice in company, drinks, and dining utensils.

Any power he has now is because of his abilities during manor matches and what little influence he has with the baron due to being a hunter. Well, and whether or not people are willing to risk dealing with his temper.

#out of photographs #head canon

[loveditapp]

20 Ultimate Online Dating Tips For Women To Get Best Date

20 Ultimate Online Dating Tips For Women To Get Best Date

Online Dating Tips for Women is necessary for those women who want to date successfully. We want to save your valuable time and energy and remove any heartache before you go out on that elusive date. Be sincere when starting a relationship, be aware of your first date, and seek a romantic minded person who is honest, generous, and a man of kind words, handsome, smart and who possesses a beautiful mind,and is believable and sincere to his relationship with you. Before dating you must consider and analyze these factors. 20 Ultimate Online Dating Tips For Women To Get Best Date

we know dating is fun, exciting, thrilling, and challenging at the same time. As a woman though, you may be wondering about what things you can do in order to improve your experiences in dating even more. Realize how much you already knew about dating and read the article step by step.

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There is a concept in advertising that applies extremely well to dating. Match the right offer up to the right buyer and you will get a sale. In the dating world, this can be best explained as: match the right woman up to the right guy and you have chemistry. A real relationship. What makes it so hard for most single women is that they end up getting matched up with the WRONG guy all of the time. How many times have you found yourself on a date or even in a relationship with a guy who ended up being the wrong offer for you?

These Are Top 20  Online Dating Tips for Women

1 ) Finding a Romantic Partner

Finding a romantic partner ( link ) is so important if you want to maintain a strong lasting relationship. Romantic partners in the world are joyful. They are the dwellers in an imaginative world. They are optimistic in their life. They are happy in their practical ways. They can easily make you happy. So, you should choose a romantic partner for successful dating. Finding a Romantic Partner

2) Analyze the Quality

Sometimes your friends may have little annoying habits which can be irritating, they could have some small traits which can indicate a complete lack of respect or be very annoying or on the other hand, they could be real sweet talkers and have great qualities that can inspire you and lead you to a strong bond and attraction to them, so analyze the quality early so you will not have any regrets down the track for these you ask online or on a date about the person.

3) First Influential Dating

Your first date is not surely an audition for marriage. It may be just a try out for a second date. No one ever falls in love at the time of analyzing every detail of their momentous first meeting. However, first dating is very influential.

4) Keep the conversation light and funny

Do not delve into hefty issues like prayer in school, abortion or evolution. Even married couples do not agree on every issue. Try to figure out what you like about the person before deciding what you DON’T like about them. It is not fair to dismiss a potential mate because of one or two issues.  Being humorous is what attracts men. Being too serious? Not so much.

Also Read -  Conversation Starters for Women

5) Avoiding Narrow Mindedness

Avoiding Narrow Mindedness

He who is narrow minded or selfish is not appropriate. He who is of low self-esteem is not the right person for you. You may not be able to change him, avoid these types of men.

6) Do Your Own Thing, be Yourself

Don’t make your date the center of your universe. If you make dating your whole life, it may make you frustrated and could let you down,and always remember men are unpredictable and they could easily fall in love with another woman who has her own interests and passions.

Men are attracted to confident women who have the concept of interdependence so set the confident profile pic. Interdependence means both independent and dependent. So Carefully plan your dates, maintain your passions and friends as normal and don’t leave your things that are most important to you and keep doing what you were doing before you started dating.

7) Make a Decision

Some men may be afraid of a commitment. They might need more time than you to make a decision. If a guy is ready for a relationship, he may question if you are you ready for a relationship with him?  Set your dating goals and consider taking more time before you finally decide so don't make hurry on online dating while chatting. Having a good relationship, you might have to give him a little time to make a decision.

8) Dress Smart

Dress Smart

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all women's put on a beautiful smart dress before going on an exciting date in the same way toy put profile pic in most hot clothes. It can make an excellent impression on him undoubtedly.

9) A Beautiful Mind

Love is purely a strong bond to maintain a good relationship.A beautiful mind can make a good relationship. while doing video calls don't do Hearty makeup on a face. A beautiful pure mind which is an asset can spring pure joy and happiness. Beauty can’t be purchased in the market.

10) Be Honest in the Relationship

An honest relationship is valuable. Don’t deceive anyone and be careful of not being deceived. Good relationships need mutual understanding and belief. So be honest while calling chatting and don't make fool him. Seek honesty and faith, where there is no presence of the relationship won’t thrive anymore.

Also Read -  Top 15 Dating Advice For Introverts To Get Success

11) Be safe while dating

If dating in person, it is best to agree to meet for a lunch or coffee before a formal date. This gives you time to get to know the person before hopping in a car with them. If the lunch or coffee goes well, then set another day.  If it does not, then part as friends. Also, avoid giving too many personal details. A person attempting to steal your identity does not need much information. A few simple bits of info like your middle name, birth date and city of origin is enough to get a credit account. Keep things superficial at first.be safe while dating

Modern dating women need to find warning signals in men ( link ) for dangerous behavior patterns. Needy men, violent men, con men or even criminals might give themselves away during the initial conversation. All these types of men can be physically or financially dangerous, leading to identity theft or stalking or dependency. Look for these signs early on. 

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to be continued ----------------------------------------

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[thesimplyluxuriouslife]

332: The Power and Necessity of Regular and Frequent Reflection

"Your soul needs time for solitude and self-reflection. In order to love, lead, heal, and create, you must nourish yourself first." —Louise Hay

Stillness.

Silence.

Solitude.

Whether you have ten minutes or an entire afternoon or day to give to quiet contemplation, otherwise known as reflection, when you choose to do so, you ground yourself, ensuring the next "step" in your life journey will be far more constructive and in alignment with a life of contentment.

I happened upon an observation made by Paul Child, the husband of Julia Child, while reading Warming Up Julia Child: The remarkable figures who shaped a legend, while traveling the west coast during the first book tour for his wife, sharing in a letter with Avis DeVoto about the bustle in Southern California whose population was skyrocketing at the time,"'So busy w/material consumption & social whirling,' that they neglected reading and reflection." It was his concluding clause of what he felt was lacking that immediately drew my attention: His prioritizing and valuing of as a regular pastime for a deeper appreciation of art and science, and well, living well, in his opinion.

Unconsciously, it has been my nature since I was a young girl, to reflect often. Likely associated with being introverted, but because it was unconscious, overthinking could occur which was unproductive. However, because I knew and had many examples from my life journey that resulted from being reflective, thinking deeply about a project, life choice, or temporary dilemma, I knew there was great power in being reflective. The skill I needed to learn was how to harness it for constructive purposes and to recognize when it became destructive (when my mind would regress to its Lizard Mind tendency and spend time in the land of worrying and catatrophizing).

“Most true happiness comes from one's inner life, from the disposition of the mind and soul. Admittedly, a good inner life is difficult to achieve, especially in these trying times. It takes reflection and contemplation and self-discipline.” – William L. Shirer

William Shirer, an American journalist and war correspondent, and notably, the first reporter hired by Edward R. Murrow, acknowledges the need to attain the skill of self-discipline, and the understanding that a strong and healthy inner life is a conscious effort that is not easy, but powerfully rewarding when achieved. In 2010, I shared a list of benefits when we acquire the skill of self-discipline, and over the years I have found to be true that it is when I have clarity about my priorities, about myself and how best to nurture myself so that I am deeply content and at peace that self-discipline become easier and isn't a battle with bad habits I wish to eliminate.

It may at first seem antithetical to slow down and be still to gain a better life, but as was discussed in last Monday's Motivational post, it is through subtraction that we increase the quality of our life.

Silence and the act of Reflecting go hand in hand, as we need to provide the space to recall, remember, examine and consider. As artist from the 16th and 17th century Francis Bacon states, “Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.” In order to understand, we must slow down. In order to find peace with our direction, we must find the time to be still and ponder all that we have experienced during the day, the week, etc..

Confucius as well prioritized the importance and value of reflection when he said, "By three methods we may learn wisdom. First, by reflection, which is noblest. Second, by imitation, which is easiest and third by experience which is bitterest." To reflect enables us to avoid unwanted outcomes, events, loss, pain and hardship. Similar to a pickup that has found its way into a sinking water-logged mud puddle. To continue to spin one's wheels literally, only digs the pickup further into the ground, making it more and more difficult to be pulled free. It is through pausing, reflecting on the situation, ascertaining a plan that is not identical to the one that brought you to the mud puddle that will enable a desired outcome.

As my own daily life has become far more quiet, I have found myself experiencing moments that remind me of my childhood when I would while away entire afternoons or mornings, completely enthralled with an excursion with my horse or other animals, writing or reading, or simply toodling about letting my curiosity lead the way. Absolute bliss. And such moments were made possible because I gave myself time the year and two years prior to reflect on what was and what was not working in my life, what made me feel fulfilled, grounded and at peace, no matter what others said I should be doing to attain such desired outcomes. In this turning point in my life, reflecting was a vital tool that gifted me with the trust in my decision I had for so long been too scared to make.

As I know there are many fellow introverts as well as HSPs in TSLL community, reflecting, as I mentioned above, is likely already part of your everydays. The struggle I consciously have identified to be a barrier I need to work through (or around) in order to get on the other side of is acknowledging and finding peace with the truth that I thrive in an environment and approach to living my everydays that many people I had surrounded myself with or been surrounded by (due to teaching) don't find to be comforting or nourishing. For so long I expended energy, with my family, with colleagues or friends trying to explain, defend and becoming frustrated sometimes to the point of exasperation as though I was banging my head against a wall, that how I enjoy living my days is the real deal. It genuinely brings me deep satisfaction, elation and it is my place of true contentment. Some of these people I would try to convince extended pity, some assumed their way of living was superior because it wasn't their way and so I must be unhappy even though I claimed otherwise. And so what I am in the process of doing is finding peace with the reality that they may never understand, finding courage to speak my truth in a loving yet strong way, being at peace with the reality that my truth may cause some of these people to feel discomfort in the moment when I share, but I avoid feeling resentful later which is a destructive and unhelpful feeling as I move forward building and nurturing relationships with people who accept a truth they may never understand, and lovingly acknowledge there are many ways to find contentment and thus many moments of happiness.

I share the above journey first because all of my ahas discovered came about through regular reflection. The ahas didn't come instantly, but they did come. Often assisted by reading, as Paul Child paired with regular reflection, because none of us has all the answers to the questions we will come across while we reflect, and so in areas where I didn't understand, I looked to those who knew far more than I did. And the second reason I shared the above journey is because I wish I had heard someone say this to me, to tell me how you live your life, what brings you peace, calm, exuberance need not be validated by others. In the introduction of the November chapter (chapter 11) in The Road to Le Papillon: Daily Meditations on True Contentment I speak about an aha I had about savoring my joy and not asking permission or validation from others to acknowledge that my joy was okay. Once I became conscious that I was actually unconsciously seeking others approval to feel joy, I then gave myself the approval from within and stopped seeking it outside of myself regarding how I enjoy and find peace in my everydays. So if I can give any amount of peace of mind to encourage you to continue to enjoy your days as you do regardless of whether others in your life currently understand, I hope I can do that today and here on TSLL blog.

What exactly does 'reflecting' look like in our daily lives?

Well, let's first take a look at what it is not. It is not meditating. Meditating is a valuable skill and practice, something I wrote a detailed post about sharing six benefits and how to meditate daily, but reflecting requires you to use the mind, to contemplate, to examine, and meditation asks you to observe your mind, to step back and strengthen your ability or simple awareness so that you engage with each day with more mindfulness, being able to hold yourself fully in the present moment.

(1) Reflecting asks for you to find a quiet space. This could be in one spot or on your walk while you either listen to your favorite music, anything that doesn't ask you to think about the content you are hearing, so in order to reflect, you will want to turn off the podcast episode (counter-intuitive direction coming from a podcaster, I know :)). Maybe it is while you are taking a bath, taking a shower, sitting in your favorite cozy chair or outside on your porch or working in your garden. You can be doing something while you are reflecting, but it needs to be quiet which enables your thoughts to wander without influence or distraction.

(2) Journaling often helps us to understand what our thoughts are trying to help us understand. As I shared a couple of weeks ago, often it is when I put what I am thinking about on paper that I make more sense of what I am actually trying to work through. The process of manually telling my hand to write a certain word or idea helps me solidify what I am actually feeling, wanting, or what is causing frustration.

(3) Reading can help prompt reflection, but only if you stop to let yourself ponder and mull over what it is that was sparked in your mind while you were reading. When I was teaching, I prompted my students to annotate while they read because it helped them to actively engage with the writer. And while it did slow their reading down, it also strengthen a closer reading of the text. My description of such reading and writing on the page was that they were having a conversation with the author - questioning, sharing ahas, challenging, understanding, etc..

(4) Regularly engage in reflecting and thus it will become a practice that not only becomes easier to do as you will find great benefit as you go through your days, but you will want to return to this comforting space in your day. Reflecting becomes a space where you are conversing about the day's and life's events, making sense of them as best you can and if you cannot, presenting questions for your mind to mull over in the days and weeks to come. I find the latter to be unexpectedly powerful because our mind is there to help us if we let it. We can sometimes pose a question to our mind, sleep on it, and wake up with an amazing aha we had not thought of but because so much stored information is in our long-term memory, it took our mind time to find where it was located. :)

(5) Practice meditation. I know, I know, I just said that meditation is not reflecting, and I am sticking to what I said, but in order to have an effective and beneficial reflective practice, you must have control of your mind. You need to be able to tell it where to go and where not to go, and how you do that is by strengthening the muscle that is the mind, and you do that through meditation.

The Benefits of Regular, Frequent Reflection

Now that my days have breath, in other words, regular 'white space', something Mozart reminds is how the music is heard and thus appreciated (here is his actual quote, “The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between.”), I reflect every day and have found great strength received, grounding steadiness and a more sturdy confidence in my journey moving forward which is full of so many unknowns. Often the reflecting is in my journal, but it can also occur while I am taking my long morning walk with Norman or our short stroll in the evening. I have had to consciously remain vigilant that my mind doesn't let the reflecting wander where it doesn't need to go - worry, catatrophizing, etc. - places it would go without my knowledge previously of how to stop it or acknowledging that doing so was unnecessary and definitely not helpful, but such bad habits have been significantly reduced if not eliminated. I find this bad habit arises when I am tired, have not given myself enough time to recharge, and so I am being more mindful of my daily schedule as well.

The key to ensuring your reflection is beneficial is to always be focusing on constructive actions and progress rather than ruminating on negative events. The latter is where 'overthinking' and catatrophizing can happen, and there is never a benefit in such mental habits. This is where strengthening your mind gives you the power to direct your mind's attention. This is where meditation is a skill that contributes to reflection as meditation strengthens the muscle that is the mind. Now let's look at the benefits of regular, frequent reflection.

"Honest self-reflection opens your mind to reprogramming, change, success, and freedom."- Vikas Runwal

As well, in order for any of the below benefits to be experienced, you must be brave enough to be honest with yourself. You may not like what your mind discovers upon reflection during certain instances as you realize you behaved or acted or spoke in a way that was not in alignment with who you want to be. You may discover you need to apologize and accept the consequences of your choices, but in so doing, you will learn, and because you are reflecting you are beginning to create positive change.

"Time and reflection change the sight little by little 'til we come to understand." —Paul Cezanne

1.Deeper clarity of direction

2. Decision-making becomes easier

3. Deeper clarity of your needs, dreams and their roots of origin - are they yours innately or placed upon you by society

4. Better selections of which relationships to become a part of, to invest in

5. Improved relationships - you discover areas you would like to improve, better understand about yourself, and you also find your voice to communicate your needs, desires and interests.

6. Reduction of stress and anxiety as you become comfortable with your own company, strengthening your sense of agency as you trust your decisions and competence to navigate whatever the future presents.

7. Deeper and more restful sleep

8. Improved Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

In order to welcome a regular and frequent practice of reflection, you may have to rearrange your daily routine, but I assure you, the benefits, what you gain, will be more than worth it as you will begin to live a life you deeply love. Changes will certainly be a part of your journey when you begin to reflect in this way, but the changes will be made by you, and will be constructive.

So today, embrace your own company, befriend yourself, as Jane Austen describes the leading character in Mansfield Park Fanny Price, "Her own thoughts and reflections were habitually her best companions." Once you begin to confront behaviors and choices that do not contribute to the life you want to live, you will greatly enjoy the company that is your constant companion, you.

"The capacity to reflect is at the heart of what it is to be an effective learner."- Bill Lucas

SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY

6 Benefits of Meditation and How to Meditate in Your Daily Life

episode #140, Emotional Intelligence (EQ): A crucial tool for enhancing quality in life & work

6 Benefits of Journaling Regularly

Petit Plaisir

—Eiffel, the film

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #332

~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate:  iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify | Amazon Music

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

#tsllpodcast thesimplesophisticate

[duckulamoved]

Outer worlds is a Short game and its not fantastic but it lays groundwork for them to do something similar in the future which is good. But I mean it had just enough of what some of my favorite games have that I can’t help but fall in love with it and I love basically all the companions so much. 

#nyoka is growing on me more #parvati felix and max i think are the better characters #felix annoys a lot of people but i see what theyre going for with him hes young and loud and gets it but doesnt quite see the big scope #hes probably in the 19 to 22 age range #and because of a lack of strong figures in his life has a habit of attatching himself to older figures who seem like they share similar #ideas which leads to placing people on pedestals a little too easy if hes not careful which leads to problems with broken spirits #when those people inevitabley ruin his idealized view of them such as what happened with gram and that other dude whos name i forgot whoops #and then god if you play a dickhead of a captain and you do enough felix fucking walks out on you too and his board run ending cards fuckin #broke me dude / #felix is a really good character honestly i just think a lot of more hardcore gamers see just annoying kid who wont shut up #but i think hes a good inclusion to the crew and i love him

[dream-a-little-longer-1]

Sleepy cuddles : how would these characters cuddle you after a exhausting cold and or rainy day : (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。(part 1)

For my lovely followers (you know who *wink*)

**********************************************

Albert

•Albert comes home usually late

•his days are filled with exhausting meetings and worthless gatherings with the mindless royalties

•so when he come home tonight

•the weather colder than usual considering its October already

•his emerald velvet coat slightly damped from the downpour earlier that day

•he find his tense shoulders relax slightly at the comfortable warmth of his home

•your home together

•he lets out a long and tired sigh, figuring how everyone must be already asleep when the clock shows the number 1 am

•he tries to be as quiet as possible when he walks down the way to your shared bedroom

•his steps heavier than usual

•and when he opens the door

•the faint light of the candle showing him half of your bedroom

•and seeing you awake

•with the book he bought you the other day coming home from a meeting

•and your smile as bright as ever when you spot him

•opening your arms

•looking so warm

•so welcoming

•he smiles for the first time that day

•he's home,and home's where you are with him

**********************************************

William

•William has this weird small (huge) habit of falling asleep anywhere when he reaches his limit

•before you came to his life,it took all Louis's willpower to not break down crying from his brother's lack of self care

•but then you came along

•with your soothing words

•your warm smile

•and your gentle fingers brushing in his golden locks

•William worked harder and harder with each passing day

•nearing his limits, judging from how his eyes would just droop whenever he was talking

•and still refusing to take a break

•so after tonight's sudden drop of temperature

•when you walk into the living room barely passed midnight

•and find your stubborn significant other finally passed out on the couch

•you cant help but to only sigh

•when you adjust his head on your lap

•and pull the blanket higher on his shoulders

•while brushing his hair

•a small smile garces his lips while he sleeps

•and even if you wake up with a sore neck tomorrow

•you tell yourself it totally worths it

• definitely if you get to see William's peaceful face,even if for a few hours

**********************************************

James Bond

•James Bond is a very classy person

•and unlike some of his fellow teammates,he knows he should hit the bed when his body calls for it

•yet after some time,he simply forgets to rest

•real rest because few hours of nap before missions definitely doesn't count

•you always knew your partner was stubborn

•but seeing him with his brilliant blue eyes bloodshot and yawning around the gun he's polishing

•makes your eyes twitch

•because James is always the one nagging over your health and well being.

•and seeing him sleep deprived

•and with his blonde hair soaked, not even bothering to change his coat or get a towel to dry off after his mission in the rain

•snaps something in you

•when you drop a soft towel on his hair and sit behind him on the bed

•and start to gently rub at his wet locks

•you can feel him melting under your touch

•considering how short his hair is,it doesnt take long before its completely dry again

•but as you move to get up

•he turns and nuzzles in your stomach,his eyes already closed,his breathing even and soft

•you huff out a fond laugh and adjust him so that you two are laying next to each other

•and when he wraps his strong arms around your smaller waist

•and sighs happily

•you know you'll give your eternity just to see him relaxed

•and feeling home in your arms

**********************************************

Mycroft

•Mycroft,like Albert,is always stuck in pointless meetings

•and considering his role in the government,sometimes he doesnt even make it home to you and simply sleeps in his office

•waking with a sore neck and a cold body

•because no matter how little time or how long you two know each other

•he has gotten so used to your warm body against his while sleeping that he simply gets cold if he doesnt have you around

•he even beared with Sherlock's teasing just to go home to you so both of you could sleep better that night

•its well passed 3 am when Mycroft gets home tonight

•his hands are basically freezing and his raven hair is stuck to his forehead,his face wet with raindrops

•your home is dark,not even a single candle alight

•he doesnt expect you to be awake,nor he's mad

•after all he was the one that insisted on you sleeping whenever he got home late

•so when he takes off his shoes and gets ready to change with his cold hands and aching body

•and suddenly feels a warm blanket around his shoulders,he cant help but to widen his eyes.

•seeing your smaller form barely in the dark

•he huffs out an annoyed (amused) laugh

•his hands coming up to wrap the blanket around both of you

•and when he feels himself getting warmer at your comfortable embrace

•he lets out a tired sigh

•he's finally home

•back in your caring arms

#moriarty the patriot fanfic #moriarty the patriot x reader #Mycroft holmes x reader #albert james Moriarty x reader #william James Moriarty x reader #james bond x reader

[quirkless-accident]

Father figure

what aizawa says: problem child (affectionate)

what danny hears: problem child (derogatory)

The case against Danny's parents was harder than Aizawa had expected it to be. They had tried to go in on their neglect of Danny and Jazz over the years, but since Danny's been quirkless most of his life, it wasn't really a strong hit. It wasn't until they brought up the illegal support equipment they were manufacturing, their unlicensed at-home lab, and the lack of safety protocols in place did anybody finally start listening. And while they didn't get arrested, they were stripped of their licenses and the custody of Danny, who was immediately taken in by Aizawa with his emergency foster license.

For the most part the two stayed on campus, and Danny slept in the dorms like normal. Other times, if he needed to get away for the weekend, Aizawa would take him home where they set up his bedroom with posters of Nasa and Thirteen. The ceiling had glow in the dark star stickers that Aizawa knew for a fact matched the ones in his dorm at Heights Alliance. Upon seeing the accuracy, he had ruffled Danny's hair with a, Good job, Problem Child," and promptly left to go make dinner.

He should have noticed it then.

Problem Child was always meant to be affectionate. Danny was a danger magnet, almost as much as Midoriya, and the pair were sure to give him grey hairs before they graduated. But he loved his students. His kids. He would take them and all of their problems any day of the week. Including his new traumatized son.

Danny was quiet when he moved around. He wore socks all around the house and made sure his footsteps were as quiet as possible. Something Shouta himself had done growing up with the strong hands of his father looming over him. When he walked around, he tended to stick closer to the walls where the wood creaked less, gliding around like a ghost. Shouta had assured him that he could move as freely as he wanted to, and he could take as much food as he needed. It was taking a while, though. But that's okay, because progress was never linear.

He had to remind himself of that just as much as he had to remind Danny.

The more weekends they spent together, the more he seemed to relax. It helped that Jazz came and visited every now and then too, soothing her brother's anxiety in a way Shouta doesn't think he'll ever be able to.

There are some days that start good and take a sharp turn for the worst. Danny will become closed off, and he'll lock himself in his room and won't come out until after dinner. He hasn't figured out what's triggering him, and he's getting more worried by the second.

---------

Danny knows he can trust Aizawa-no, it's Shouta when they're not at school. He's proven to Danny time and time again that he'll do anything to keep him safe. Hell, he got his face smashed into concrete by a Nomu for them. If that's not dedication to his students, he doesn't know what it.

But he's also helped Danny with his powers. With his confidence. Hell, even with his parents, which he thought would never be possible because of his previous quirkless status. And sure, it was all the illegal support stuff that got them, but it was still a huge relief to wake up and not be in his old bedroom.

He was happy to be here, with Shouta.

Maybe that's why it hurt so much when Shouta called him Problem Child.

He never did anything wrong when he was called that. At least, he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. But it was almost every day when he was called that, and every time it nearly put him in tears. Jazz has tried getting him to open up about it, to tell her what's wrong, but she's finally free. She doesn't need him burdening her.

She doesn't need problem child holding her back.

So even though he knows it's not healthy, he reverts back to his old habits. Walk close to the walls, don't make a sound, don't interrupt, and only eat after everybody else. Don't try to take enough to where it's noticeable. All of these things kept him safe. Kept him from getting hurt.

"I told you to save some for everybody else, you useless problem, Child!"

"What did we tell you about interrupting us? You're a problem, Child."

A problem. A child. Not even worthy enough of being called his name in his own home. Just problem. Just child. Inhuman. Quirkless.

There's a knock on his door, soft and muted. It's only then does Danny realize he's got tears streaming down his face. Out of frustration or the fact that Shouta probably secretly hates him (which hurts so much more) he doesn't know.

As he hops off his bed he scrubs his face clean of any tears, and answers the door.

Shouta is standing there, in his bright pink sweatpants and a tank top that doesn't hide any of his scars. Danny's eyes go to the elbow that Shigaraki had disintegrated at the USJ, and he gulps, pushing down any residual guilt. He forces his eyes to go to the plate of food in his teacher's hand.

"Danny?" He asks. His voice is like his knock. Soft, quiet, unalarming. It's a complete one-eighty from what Danny's used to. His parents were both loud and brash, and they never knocked. No, there's a permanent dent in his wall from his door being thrust open at all hours of the night, when they were frustrated and just needed somebody to yell at. "Is everything okay?"

No, not really. "Yeah," Danny answers. "I'm fine. What's up?" He tries to sound as casual as he can, but it's hard when he knows his face is red and his eyes swollen from crying. Shouta just gives him a concerned frown.

"Dinner," he says, gesturing with the plate of food. "But-look. I don't want to push you, I know things have been pretty hectic the past few weeks. But something is obviously bothering you. Is there anything I can do to help?"

I don't know. "Nothing's wrong, Shouta," he states very unconvincingly. Shouta raises an eyebrow, and Danny rubs the back of his neck nervously. He was going to get in trouble for lying. Shouta was going to take away the food, or he was going to wake him up in the middle of the night and take his frustrations out on Danny. He was going to-

"Is it somebody from school?" He asks.

"No," Danny replied. And it's easier to be truthful about that. He doesn't have any problems with any of his classmates, thankfully.

"Is it..." Shouta's voice is somehow smaller now. "Is it something that I've done?"

Danny's lips press into a thin line. Shouta was going to be able to tell if he was lying but he didn't want to say it out loud because then that would make it true. And Shouta has done so much for him already, and it's his own fault for being a problem, and-

"I'm gonna take your silence as a yes," Shouta says. He sighs and puts the plate of food down on Danny's dresser. "Do you want to talk about it?" Danny knows Shouta well enough to know that he's not going to let this go, not anytime soon. So he nods, and moves to climb onto his bed. Shouta takes the desk chair. His elbows are on his knees, hands gently clasped as he leans forward to look at Danny. His hair is pulled back into a lazy ponytail, so Danny has nothing to distract him from Shouta's intense gaze.

"I'm sorry," Shouta says after a few minutes of silence. Danny's head shoots up, surprised. Shouta presses on. "I'm sorry that I've done something to make you upset. It's the last thing I ever want to do. You're my kid, and I hate to see you hurting like this."

Danny's chest aches with the sincerity in which Shouta speaks. He almost sounds like Jazz. It was the same words, just less overbearing. They were quiet and manageable. Something Danny doesn't have a lot of experience with. So he takes a big breath in to steady his nerves, and looks at his hands, because it's just easier that way.

"I...I don't like being called problem child," he said. His voice was barely a whisper, but somehow Shouta still heard it. The adult stiffened where he sat. "I...My parents used to say that kind of stuff to me. And every time I hear it I just think of them. And-I'm sorry, I know you're not doing it to be mean, but my brain tells me you are and it-it's just hard sometimes."

"Oh, kid," Shouta says as he stands up. Danny keeps his gaze firmly on the hands in his lap as the bed dips with the weight of his new guardian. A pair of strong arms wrap around him, and Danny leans into the warm touch. The tears are back now, and his shoulders are shaking slightly, but it only makes Shouta hold him tighter.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that," he tells Danny. "I didn't realize that it was making you upset. I won't say it to you anymore, I promise."

Danny squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a shuddering breath. He squeezes Shouta back, and feels a warm hand rubbing circles on his back as he breaks down. At some point between the comforting words and rocking back and forth a cat is placed in his lap. And then a second, and then a third. All of them are mewling for attention, and it's enough to make Shouta huff with amusement. Danny cracks a smile and pulls back, still petting one of the cats as he does so.

Shouta keeps telling him the road to recovery isn't linear, and it's never rang truer than it has today. But his chest was a little lighter, and breathing came a little bit easier, and Danny couldn't help but feel like he actually accomplished something.

And with three cats in his lap and an overcaffeinated man by his side with soft words of encouragement, he knew he was going to be okay.

#danny fenton #danny phantom #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #father figure #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

[finelinevogue]

the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay 😚😚😚😚

P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable

anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he won’t be having more children

so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind it’s heavily angsty!;

tw: vomiting, ppd and od

oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks

Motherhood was really fucking hard.

The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.

It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after you’d taken her home that it’d all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.

“Ssh ssh,” Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasn’t accepting your milk. She hadn’t been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying ‘Oh i’ll just try later.’ Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. “Mummy’s coming.”

As much as you didn’t want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. You’d tested it on your hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didn’t taste any different to you. Then again you’re not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.

“Look here’s mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!” Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasn’t as happy for her as he was.

“Yeah.” You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasn’t just rejecting you.

But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.

“Such a sweet girl, aren’t you?” Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew she’d become. It just hurt that it wasn’t you that could help her become that.

You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldn’t even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps you’d never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldn’t need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you weren’t worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didn’t think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.

Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you weren’t a good enough mum for her and that she didn’t feel safe enough around you. She didn’t find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something you’d clearly never be able to give her.

There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they weren’t old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasn’t even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when you’d completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.

“You two boys okay?”

You walked into the children’s playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felix’s little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oli’s legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.

“Yep!” Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.

“What are you both drawing?” You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.

“We’re colouring for daddy.” Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.

His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you weren’t doing enough. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.

“O-oh,” you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. “Tell me about them then, my loves.”

Oli went first, “So this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. It’s us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.” He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but you’d never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you weren’t a part of that.

“Oh that’s so good Ols!” you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felix’s, “What about you Fix?”

“I drew daddy as the best.” He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of ‘my hero’.

“I told him to write hero, mummy.” Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.

“Well done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!” You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. “Shall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?” You asked, trying to feel useful.

“Daddy is making us smoothies!” Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didn’t catch the tears in your eyes.

“Okay! Don’t forget to give him those pictures - he’ll love those.” You praised them and they both giggled to each other.

The sight of your sons laughing should’ve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you weren’t the source of their happiness. You weren’t on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely weren’t their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didn’t need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.

Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.

You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when she’d next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldn’t help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.

You’d found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road you’d judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when you’d only had 37 minutes but who’s counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.

There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. You’d never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you would’ve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you weren’t energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.

Last night had been that night.

Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.

You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didn’t want life.

It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.

“Mummy? Can you come tuck me in please?” Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.

You’d gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and that’s when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. You’d made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before you’d passed out you’d stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.

“Mummy! Wake up!” Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.

Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as he’d gotten Belle down.

“Y’alright buddy?” Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belle’s room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.

“No. Mummy’s not waking up.” Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.

“She’s probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.”

“She’s really tired all of the times.”

“I know, Ol.” Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that you’d overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didn’t truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that you’d been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.

Hell, was he so wrong.

“Go to bed, bud okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Wake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.”

“I’ll try little man, alright?” Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.

Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry you’d be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.

“Baby?” He spoke softly, nudging you gently, “Baby wake up.” No response. “Y/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.” Normally you would’ve stirred by now but there was still nothing. “Y/N?” Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. “Y/N!” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.

He turned you over and that’s when he knew this was very, very, bad.

Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.

“No, no, no. Y/N! No you don’t.” Harry’s eyes starting weeping and he couldn’t think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. “Fuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You don’t get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck i’m so sorry.” He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.

999

“What’s your emergency?”

“I need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.”

The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belle’s deafening screams. Harry’s heart beating for the both of you.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.

Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs weren’t receiving properly.

It then dawned on you how you weren’t in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You can’t really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.

Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasn’t asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you weren’t sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.

You squeezed his hand three times saying ‘I love you.’

“Y/N,” He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and you’d done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where he’d been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadn’t been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.

“I—” Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. “I’m sorry.” You were whispering so you didn’t disturb anyone else in the room.

“No, stop it. I’m sorry baby.”

“Harry don’t, you don’t have anyt—”

“Stop yes I do I—”

“Harry please you don’t owe—”

“Y/N listen!” He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me instead”.

“Harry, you don’t mean—”

“My god Y/N! You don’t get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. I’d suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum you’d be and what beautiful people you’d help bring up into the world—”

“But i’m not.” You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didn’t let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.

“Not what?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. You’d both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.

“A good mum. I’m- i’m not a good mum or wife, Harry and i’m sorry.”

“I told you not say it and stop thinking it, because you’re completely wrong Y/N. You’re a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.”

“But i’m not great.” You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. “I’m not the best.”

“But you don’t have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?” Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. “They wouldn’t be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you don’t got this, but baby you’re already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.”

“I’m just so fucked up Harry.” Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.

Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and you’d missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.

“Listen to me.” He ordered, keeping you still. “You are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.

“You are.” You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.

“Just let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then let’s do it, and i’ll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, that’s okay we can—”

You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. “No, no please, no.”

“Okay, okay, love. We won’t. See, you’re okay. I promise, you’re okay. Stay with me, yeah? I’ll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.”

“Promise.” You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didn’t care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. “I think.. I think I want to try medication please.”

Harry didn’t say ‘okay’ or ‘sure thing’, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying ‘I love you.’ Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but you’re doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but worth it.

“I’m proud of you.”

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