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#and bruce baking pies
incorrectbatfam · 4 months
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Do the batfamily members ever get too into their undercover work? (Undercover in an office and theyre worried about spreadsheets, working in a warehouse and coming home complaining about missing parts)
Bruce: Status updates on your undercover missions. Dick, you first. What have you got down at the docks?
Dick: I haven't confirmed the Killer Croc sightings yet, but more importantly, our catch hasn't been measuring up to last year's. Tuna we're doing okay on, but the salmon population seems to be on the low end. I've contacted the Department of Wildlife and Fisheries but it'll be another 3-5 business days before they can come down and check it out.
Bruce: At least you're doing something to help. Jason?
Jason: Class was okay. I think the kids are warming up to me as their substitute while Mrs. Maloney is out on maternity leave. The average on the last vocabulary quiz was 83.53% so either I'm doing my job right or they need to be challenged. I'm worried about Tristan Lancy, though. He's normally a good student but his grades have been dropping recently and his parents don't seem like safe people to tell. I'll talk to him tomorrow and try to pair him up with a peer tutor if he needs it.
Bruce: Also see if he has any alternate contacts besides his parents. Tim, any updates at the chemical plant?
Tim: If by updates you mean OSHA violations, I could go on all week. We got a batch of new recruits today and they were just thrown into the work—no PPE, no safety training, nothing. This is what happens when you place production over employee well-being. I'm gonna file a complaint after this meeting. Also, I think the union will have something to say about the manager cutting people's lunch breaks short.
Bruce: I see. Damian? Please tell me you found something volunteering at the zoo.
Damian: Depends on how you define "found." While I have not obtained evidence of a mutant larvae black market, I did help some of the animals at the sanctuary make progress with their recovery. Bobo the monkey is healing from his broken arms and we're gradually getting him re-acclimated to climbing higher surfaces. Suzie the black bear was born a little prematurely but seems to be catching up to her peers in terms of growth. Lastly, we got a grant for additional wildcat research and enrichment. As an aside, we are having an educational seminar on European mountain goats this Friday at 3:30 and I expect all of you to be there.
Bruce: I'll put that on our calendars. Steph?
Steph: It's not really undercover work for me, just work. Anyway, yes the newest Batburger location is being used for money laundering. But I really need to vent about the customers for a sec. We don't open until 10 and at 9:30 this morning some moron was banging on our door demanding Jokerized cheese fries. Then right in the middle of the lunch rush, Janie got sick so I had to fill in as the cashier and it was hell. After that, I had to step in between a fight at the drive-thru because the customer claimed we only gave him nine pieces of his ten-piece Robin nuggets and tried to beat up the kid who took his order. And to top it all off, an entire high school hockey team came in five minutes before closing.
Bruce: Cass?
Cass, blowing balloons: Can't talk. Arranging bat mitzvah.
Bruce: Duke, you're my last hope.
Duke: Margie's bringing a peanut butter chocolate cake to the bake sale. I swiped her recipe and we can easily beat her. Her ganache is way too watery and just runs off the top of the cake, which isn't even leveled. She's also trying to do something with a raspberry filling that isn't working at all. It's like she couldn't decide on what to bring. The bake sale committee also asked if we can bring some apple pies because the original baker has to go out of town for a family emergency. I think we'll win if we bring them with some ice cream and a touch of caramel, even though this isn't a contest.
Bruce: Thank you. At least our most critical case has been taken care of.
Barbara: ...I'll save my book launch for later.
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Brotherly Love Pt.5
J.T. D.W
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Jason Todd x Al-Ghul/Wayne reader(platonic)Gender Neutral
Pt.[1][2][3][4]
Summary:Jason keeps finding ways to connect with you, Damian's a little jealous.
Warnings:Light fight scene, cigarette, a knife. (Also the pie recipe is a copy and paste from google)
~☆~
Bruce awoke with a fright, running down the stairs and down to the living area of the Manor. His short red robe riding up his thighs as he ran to try and find the cause of the loud bang he had heard.
"Hey, Bruce." Jason had lazily greeted, not taking his eyes off of the newspaper infront of him, hand scratching the top of Aces head.
"What was that sound?" The older man questioned, not even asking what Jason was doing at the Manor.
"You got new locks." Jason deadpanned whilst finally looking up at Bruce from where he sits.
"Why are you here?" Bruce finally asked.
"Waiting for Y/N, they sleep so much later than Demon spawn." Jason complained.
Bruce paused, thinking of what to say. He just knew he was glad Jason was finally coming around, and that you had a brother again, even if he isn't your actual blood brother.
"Can I borrow them for the day?" Jason asked, almost shy but Bruce knew better.
"Yeah, go wake them up." He told Jason, before patting his shoulder.
~☆~
"Y/Nnnnn.." Jason sung out, trying to wake you. You could feel the almost inhuman warmth radiating from his hand that rested on your shoulder.
"Y/Nnnnn.." The living dead man next to you sang again.
"What?" You moaned out, eyes stinging from the sleep wridden in them.
"Get dressed, were hangin' out." Jason informed, leaving a pat to the arm that his hand rested on.
~☆~
Jason ended up taking you to his apartment, asking you if Alfred had introduced you to his baking yet. Your answer left Jason at a loss for words, what do you mean Alfred hadn't introduced you to his infamous cookies, or his brownies?
"Well we may not be making his cookies, because he won't give me the recipe, but we will be making pie!" Jason exclaimed, a giddy grin resting on his face.
~☆~
The memories of rarely baking pies with Jason's mother when they had the supplies clouded his mind, how after her death it moved to baking with Alfred. Now as if it's some family tradition he's moved on to doing it with you, only this time he's the teacher.
Jason sprinkled flour onto his counter, before plopping half of the dough Alfred made for you to that morning on top of the thinly dusted surface.
"You ever baked?" Jason asked, his Gotham accent dripping in his word. You shook your head and Jason offered a smile whilst grabbing a rolling pin.
"Watch me." Jason's arms gripped the utensil, rolling over the dough just a bit so you could get the gist. His arm nudged against your own as he handed you the rolling pin so he could peel the apples for the filling. You delicately pushed down and rolled the dough into a thinner circle, Jason eyed you from where he stood peeling fruit so that he could tell you when it was thin enough.
"Alright, flour your hands." He whispered, walking back over to your side and taking the rolling pin. His hands peeled the edge of the dough off of the counter, before placing it onto your newly dusted hands. Jason placed a pie tin in front of you and helped you set the dough into it.
"Make sure it's tucked in." He instructed, pulling your wrist so that you could push the dough fully into the tin pan. You watched as Jason cut off the extra dough, and prick holes into the bottom with a fork before placing it into the oven.
"I'll peel the apples, you roll out the other half."
~☆~
Jason had peeled and cut all of the apples, now they were placed into a big bowl. The pre-baked crust had already been taken out of the oven, and all of the filling ingredients have already been measured.
Jason situated you infront of the bowl, handing you a spatula for mixing.
He handed you the sugar and the cinnamon to add to the bowl, pouring the flour himself. A spinkle of salt, and some nutmeg came afterwards, Jason poured in the little bit of lemon juice that came last.
"Stir gently." He whispered, watching as you mixed all of the ingredients into the apples.
Jason placed the pie tin infront of you once again, ordering you to spoon the ingredients into the crust-lined pan. Jason's fingers pinched the top layer of dough onto the top of the pie, before cutting a slit into the encasing. He placed tin foil onto the top of the pie, and placed it into the oven.
"Let's clean up." Jason spoke as he held up his hand for a high five, you stared at him for a moment before his opposite hand grabbed your wrist so he could guide your hand to meet his own.
~☆~
*After cleaning up*
"Okay, show me what you got."
"What?"
"Hit me."
Your fist came up without hesitation, aiming a blow below his sternum, his own hands grabbed at you before your fist collided with him. Jason moved quickly, prying a finger into your side, right under your ribcage. Your hand twisted from his grasp, and you landed a kick to his knee. Letting out a grunt in frustration he fell onto one knee. His hands wrapped around both of your legs before pulling you forward, letting you fall to your knees as well. Jason shot out an arm to grab you with, but you quickly caught his hand and got back onto your feet, rounding behind Jason's body so his arm was twisted behind himself.
The front door flying open alerted both of you, forcing you both to stand up in a correct fighting position.
"Hey!" A redheaded man yelled when he caught sight of the both of you.
Jason let out a sigh before wiping a hand over his face.
"Y/N, this is Roy." Jason introduced the redhead for you. The man stepped forward, shooting a hand out for you to take whilst a grin rested on his lips. You glanced at his hand, giving it a dissatisfied look before hesitantly taking it in your own.
As Roy dropped your hand he walked off into the kitchen, snooping around to see is he could find the food he smells.
"Whatcha' makin'?" He asked, neither you or Jason answered, only glancing at each other.
"Damian's more of the fighter, anyway." You shrugged, before walking off to follow Roy.
~☆~
You watched as Jason and Roy played a video game on Jason's TV. Your slice of pie that had previously been made was still being eaten by you, the two men that resided beside you and on the floor had already scarfed down their own slices.
You watched as their characters fought each other on the screen, your mind wondered, what if you and Damian were raised like this? What if the two of you were raised away from war? Gotham it's self had its own spike of violence but still nothing to what you and Damian were raised with. What if the two of you were "normal", raised playing video games, having sleepovers, playing catch with you father?
Part of you resented Talia for raising you the way she did, but another part of you loved her and thought about the times she actually acted like your mother. Like how when you were younger there were certain times when she would sit in her bed, you and Damian tucked on either side of her and she would read a book to you. She even had a painting that was made of you and your brother hanging on the wall of her quarters. But still, she raised you with all of that violence, training as the Al-Ghul heirs. Just because she was a little soft with you at times doesn't make her mother of the year.
~☆~
Before Jason dropped you back off at the Manor he cut a slice of pie and put it in a container with your name on it. Giving you firm instructions to immediately give it to Alfred, then he placed it into your bag.
"Y'know if you want more, call me." Jason told you, handing you the phone of yours that you didn't even know he had. "Roy's is in there too."
The redhead looked over at the sound of his name before throwing a smile and a peace sign.
"See ya' little dude." Roy bid goodbye as you passed him due to Jason pushing you out of the front door.
~☆~
After pulling up to the front of the Manor, Jason leaned on his motorcycle, a hand in his pockets, and the other holding his newly lit cigarette.
The two of you sat out there together, staring at the gothic chic Manor.
"Would you like to stay for dinner?" You broke the silence, not ready to watch Jason leave. The taller man only snuffed his cigarette out and put on his helmet.
"Sorry, kid." Jason muttered as the threw a leg over his motorcycle and drove off.
~☆~
Alfred opened the door as soon as you reached the front steps, he always had this strange way of forming at the door before you could even knock. As he held a hand out for your backpack you reached in and handed him your slice of pie that Jason had given you.
"Dinner is set."
"Thank you, Alfred."
~☆~
You headed straight for the dining room, without even changing your clothes first. It's not that you were hungry, you Jason and Roy had snacked on things that you could've never eaten back with Ra's, you just didn't want to be alone yet.
Your socked feet dragged against the hardwood floors, Jason had woken you up too early for your liking. After your grandfather's death and coming to America you've indulged in some things you've never done before, like sleeping in.
Your hand grasped the wooden chair that came in a set with the dining table, after slumping in the chair you sluggishly filled up your plate with food. Both your father and brother had stopped their movement's as they watched your tired state.
"Woke up to early." You sighed, before giving Bruce a big smile, one that he returned.
"Did you have fun?" Bruce asked, cutting up a piece of his dinner.
"Yeah, we baked...an-and I watched him play video games!" You excitedly revealed, missing the expressionless face Damian watched you with.
~☆~
After dinner you started walking to the bathroom for a shower, then you could pass out. Footsteps could be heard walking in sync with your own, familiar footsteps, the ones you know all too well.
Damian pulled you to a stop with a firm grip to your arm, one that your sure will leave Red marks for the next few minutes.
"Why do you keep spending time with him?" He asked as his green eyes bore into your own. You watch as he quickly swallows, before chewing on the inside of his bottom lip.
"That's none of your concern." You hissed before yanking your arm out of his grip before walking off, leaving Damian standing in the empty hallway.
~��~
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Where are you from, or at least what time zone? Because I've noticed you guys are mostly active during 12-5 AM (my time). I promise that the next chapter will have action in it....just bear with me people...<3
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1n-bl0om · 2 years
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bruce and vance hcs
- vance has cuteness aggression
- vance has an oral fixation/stim where he feels the need to bite things. he’s always chewing on plastic spoons and forks. especially plastic straws
- when vance’s overwhelmed with emotion he needs to bite. when he’s so overwhelmed with bruce and his feelings of love he bites him from
- bruce has bite marks on his arms from vance and his cuteness aggression
- bruce is very sweet but people do annoy him. he has his own personal “burn book” where he lets out the rudest remarks in japanese
- vance has two moms, rose and jane. people often say rude things to him about it, that’s why he gets into so many fights
- bruce is the captain of the debate club. his ability to  persuade others and have them agree with him helps tremendously in his debates
- bruce is taller than vance. vance the epitome of a short, angry person
- bruce’s litte sister, amy, braids vance’s hair whenever she can
- vance is relatively calm but gets annoyed easily. little things set him off. he likes to say he got his firey personality from his mom, rose
- bruce spends his weekends gardening. he has a small flower patch and some fruit trees growing in. he gardens in the free time between school and baseball
- vance loves to bake. whenever he is stressed or bored he bakes. he’s made pies, cookies, cakes, custards, pastries, you name it. it’s also his bonding time with his moms. they all enjoy time in the kitchen
- bruce likes to draw. he spends his time reading comics and copying the art styles, making his own comics for fun
- bruce absolutely loves baseball. he thinks about going pro once he’s older but is doubting it
- bruce is double jointed and it freaks vance out. he can pop his joints out of place and vance screams every time
- vance’s pinball score is one of the things he’s most proud of. it took a wallet of coins to achieve and total concentration. he dragged bruce out early the next morning to show him his score
- bruce fell first but vance fell harder
- bruce plays with vance’s hair to help him relax. he could spend hours like that, totally calm while under bruce’s attention
- vance is like a cat, claws always out for those he hates but comfortable with those he loves.
- vance is a brat and complains when stuff doesn’t go his way. he’s a spoiled only child. he’s always being annoying and bruce constantly tells him to stop being so whiny, that results in vance biting him
- bruce talks shit with amy while she gives him gossip about the lower classmen. it’s their sibling bonding time
- bruce helps patch up vance after his fights, though he prefers to do it alone
- bruce has a baseball collection filled with some of the most impressive signatures. he’s incredibly proud of it
- rose and jane do their best to teach vance to be a respectable boy. vance just happens to get annoyed easily and has a problem with authority
- vance looks eerily similar to both of his moms, it confuses people
- bruce tried to teach vance how to hit a baseball. the day ended with vance breaking the bat and chasing him with it
- bruce loves mint n chip ice cream. he will defend it until his final breath
- they spend their time at the baseball field or with the pinball machine. bruce teaches vance little things about baseball while vance teaches bruce his tricks in pinball
- bruce sleeps over vance’s a lot. he considers rose and jane to be his second parents.
- bruce once compared vance to an entitled house cat. vance pouted and snapped at people the rest of the day
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toulousewayne · 4 months
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The Batfamily as Thanksgiving Dishes
Bruce: Turkey. Weather Roasted, fired, smoked or grilled Turkey is the main dish and a staple for Thanksgiving. Well sometimes it can look dry or maybe it is depending on whose preparing it. It is an important center piece and it is holds all the sides together. While Bruce isn’t the world’s best dad he tries and he sometimes needs to try hard to not be so cut and dry too. He means well and loves his family, there his reason to continue on and not to give up. Like turkey you just have to carve off a piece or two to get to that tender side.
Dick: Pumpkin Pie. It’s sweet, and sometimes you don’t know if it’s gonna be good or if it will chip your tooth. It’s also a classic and you can’t really have a family gathering without it. Pumpkin to most is one of the original side dishes/desserts from Thanksgiving. Just as Dick is the first Robin it started the trend for other dishes or Robins to come after him with their own spin on the mantle and similarly Pumpkin pie aloud for other dishes to come along since the tradition long history. And plus you can’t have a family of crime fighters without that overprotective, charismatic short tempered Big Brother.
Jason: Sweet Potato Pie. There’s always been a debate between Sweet Potato Pie and Pumpkin. Sweet Potato is just that it’s not something you think of usually as being very sweet, it’s very mysterious in it’s presentation and no two pies are alike. Like Jason Sweet Potato Pie is there for you when you want something different it’s sweet yes, but it’s not overwhelming with Sweet Potatoes taste like Pumpkin can be sometimes. Maybe you just want to take a piece and set in the library and read a novel,Sweet Potato Pie is there for you for when you just want dessert and to be in your own little bubble away from the noise family just on the other side of the door.
Barbara: Mashed Potatoes. Mashed potatoes are a staple on Thanksgiving and most argue you can’t have thanksgiving without them. Babs is definitely the glue that holds a lot of the original and newer members of the family together and keeps everyone safe and update too. Mashed Potatoes go well with everything side with gravy or without they complete the plate, just as Babs is a staple that hold the family together.
Tim: Yams. Yams are sweet and glossy. The mix the best with Mac & cheese and green beans. They are that side dish that you don’t think about but you need a lot of types of sugar and butter and it’s so rich and delicious. Yams are lot of people’s favorite dish and speaking from experience you can’t have thanksgiving without them. Tim for sure is there to help his family with whatever they need just as they would be their for him in a heartbeat.Tim is the family member that’s always there for you and you can count on to help you with a sticky situation.
Damian: Yeast Rolls. I’m sorry but Damian is for sure the rolls. Now matter how sometimes he may not want to be around his family all the time or at all sometimes. It wouldn’t be the Batfamily without him. You can make rolls some many ways and butter them up to make them a fan favorite too. And no meals Thanksgiving or not is complete without this buttery carb aka a fluffy cloud.
Stephanie: Baked Mac & Cheese. Mac & cheese is a comfort food for most, and Stephanie is a comfort character to many. She brings laughs, joy, grit, and a lot of sass. Who ever makes Mac & cheese can make or break a family and Stephanie’s presents brings a lot of light into the Dark Batfamily world, she always they’re when you need her and she will stick by you through thick and then.
Cassandra: Stuffing/Dressing. Full of herbs, and it melts in your mouth, this side dish blends in with the other dishes, but it’s not without being a household name on its own. While yes making of Stuffing or Dressing depending on which you prefer, is covered in depend on proper cooking of it, it’s never forgotten on a plate and much like Cass it will just appear on your plate and goes with everything. With turkey and gravy or mixed with yams and Mac and Cheese it’s just something that you cannot pass up and something you’ll always want more of. (At Dc, we want more Cass!)
Duke: Green Beans. Green Beans not to be confused with Green Bean Casserole is important because while all the other sides are covered in sugar and cheese you wanna break it up with something equally as tasty but also something it doesn’t feel like your only eating junk too. Now it’s Thanksgiving not a healthy meal and green beans usually aren’t either but hey your trying. Green beans can be scoop up and eating with the other sides because it works well with them and never lets anyone feel left out. Like Duke he never lets Gotham feel unsafe during the day nor does he let his siblings feel alone or isolated.
Selina: Pecan Pie. A dessert so good it will literally raise your blood sugar to new high. But it’s exciting, sweet, and decadent. Selina is for sure the wine aunt and only stops by for a few glasses of the finest red and a slice of this yummy pie, but she’s also will lend a hand if she needs to and give killer relationship advice.
Kate Kane: Spiral Honey Ham. This dish is big enough and just as good to pair along with turkey or for those that don’t like turkey ham is there for you. Kate is the cousin you confined in with you don’t want tell your siblings, Grandfather or Dad about certain things. Much like ham we all know everyone for the most part loves and sometimes inside of turkey, but the two work so well together, they’re is no better pairing.
Alfred: Apple Pie á La Mode. A old fashion, timeless classic. Unlike the other desserts this one can’t go wrong, it’s the perfect combination of sweet and savory with yummy vanilla ice cream ontop. Like Alfred you can think of the Batfamily without the wise and dry wit Butler. And to most a meal isn’t complete without Apple Pie and I have to say I have to agree.
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For Part 1 click here
For Part 2 click here
OUAT AU Finale - We're Gonna Be Timeless
Characters: Liane St James, Mia Spencer, Ethan Long, Belladonna St James, Cassandra Sean
Other characters: Bruce Banner, Melissa Wallace
IB: Once Upon A Time and Timeless (Taylor's Version) (From the Vault)
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A small crowd had gathered around the hospital bed of Liane St James. If you didn't look at the tubes, the gown or the general environment you would assume she was simply asleep. Bella had gone very quiet, Mia was trying to keep her eyes on her clipboard, Cassie had her head in her hands sat to the side and Ethan was at the foot of the bed, a strange aching in his chest.
He liked Liane. He hadn't known her for very long, it had only been a few weeks since his daughter had dragged him to this town, introduced him to her adoptive mother, gotten himself arrested and now he was staring at the unconscious form of someone he had grown to care for. It didn't make a lot of sense but love never did, in his experience.
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"This is all my fault, I should have..." Cassie was rambling in the corner, tears slipping down her cheeks. Bella was still deathly silent with her eyes fixed on Liane. Ethan tried to put an arm around Bella for comfort and expected her to recoil at her touch but instead she sidled up into his embrace, wrapping an arm around his waist and burying her head in his flannel shirt.
"We're doing our best to keep her stable but right now, we still can't determine what's actually happened to her. I don't usually say this but Liane's gonna need a miracle if she's going to survive this." Mia said softly, her eyes sad. The room was eerily quiet aside from the beeping of the monitor and muffled sounds from outside the door in the corridor.
Just as Mia was about to leave, Melissa and Bruce came bursting into the ICU, a half eaten pie in their hands. Mia frowned before she recognised the pie from earlier. She managed to stop them from rushing over to Liane's bed, asking them what was going on. Melissa let Bruce catch his breath and started to explain.
"This pie...she ate this before she collapsed. Its not one of Bruce's pies, it wasn't baked in our ovens."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean we baked a pie for Liane but this is not the one we baked. This one is different. Whatever is in this caused her to collapse."
"We checked her blood, she wasn't poisoned or anything, no allergic reaction. It was an apple pie right?"
Melissa nodded. Cass lifted her head hearing that and so did Bella, wiping tears from her face.
"Alexander. He did this. He wanted to hurt my mom."
"That can't be true, I ate that pie."
"How much did you eat?" Cassie questioned, coming back to her senses. Mia sighed, looking at the half eaten pie in confusion.
"I didn't eat much, a couple bites then I got the call to come back to the hospital when they brought the Joshua kid in. But Liane said she was gonna eat that whole thing."
"And you've been fine?"
"Well I had a couple of dizzy spells and I felt slightly fatigued but I'm fine now. Just kind of a headache."
"And Liane ate-"
"She ate the rest."
Bella lifted her head from Ethan's shirt her eyes widened as she reached into her bag and pulled out her storybook.
"The curse, she ate cursed apples and now she can only be awoken by true Love's kiss!" Bella exclaimed showing a page where a woman with dark hair was awoken by a kiss by a man dressed like a Prince. She turned to Ethan, eyes determined.
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"You have to break the curse, it's the only way."
"'Bella I-"
"You love my mom, right?"
"Kiddo-"
"You love her. I know you kept your distance because she's my carer and she kept hers for the same reason but I can tell. She loves you."
"I can't kiss an unconscious woman!"
"Why not? It works in the stories!"
"Because this is real life, Belladonna! There aren't cursed fruits, there aren't Big Bad Wolves, there aren't glass slippers, there isn't magic and there isn't True Love's Kiss! And...I can't keep pretending anymore." Ethan trailed off as Bella's eyes narrowed, her chin quivering but all she did was shove the book into his arms.
"Read it. And maybe you'll see the truth. I'm going for some air." She stormed out of the ICU, tears in her eyes as she ran for the doors. Mia sighed and looked at Cassie who seemed to look guilty? Mia looked over Liane's body one last time before heading to check on other patients, patting Liane's hand kindly as she left. Cassie took a seat, looking at Ethan.
"She's right, you know."
"Right about what?"
"All of it. But we've all been too blind to see. I tried telling people when I figured it out but people call you crazy when you question their reality..." Cassie muttered, watching the clock on the wall. She turned to Ethan as she grabbed her bag.
"Just read the book. Listen to your daughter for once. And maybe trust her too. She's smarter than she looks."
As Cassie left, Ethan sat by Liane's bed, the silence almost deafening as he watched the machines help her breathe. He picked up the book and started to read. He recognised the tales from his childhood, stories of princesses in castles and knights on white horses and evil queens in towers.
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Then he came across the tale of Sleeping Beauty and saw a face he recognised. A man dressed in armour, his green eyes almost shining off the page, his hair lit by the sunlight and a young woman with long blonde hair down her back, long black curved horns on her head, dressed in purples and blacks, both sat on a horse together, her purple eyes glimmering as they went to kiss.
That was his face! And those eyes despite being purple immediately made him think of Liane. How could he be in this book? This battered book with tales of magic and mystery? Why was he depicted as this Ace of Hearts? Why was Liane The Dark Fairy? And why did he feel like he knew this story more than just reading it off the page?
As he continued to read he started to recognise more and more faces from the town, Mia eating an apple as Snow White, Cole as a mystical magic man called Rumplestiltskin, Alexander as this King of Shadows, the waitress from the diner as Belle, Cassandra as Rapunzel in a high tower, he was starting to see everything more clearly. He looked at Liane and stroked her hair, finally saying what was on his mind.
"I never wanted to be a Dad. When I was a kid I made a choice to never be the reason a kid hates their life, hates their world. I didn't think anyone would ever want to have a kid with me. Then of course, life happened, a life that I really didn't want to bring a kid into but...I was naive. Not naive, dumb, really.. really dumb.
"I did love her, or I thought I did. Bella's mom. But she betrayed me. Ratted me out. I got the clink, she disappeared, and Belladonna was given to a Foster home. I never tried to make contact because I thought she'd hate me. That she'd resent me for not being there, not being her Dad when I absolutely should have been.
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"It was cowardly, I know, to run away from my problems like that but I just really didn't think this kid would want anything to do with me. And then she showed up at my door. Like an omen. No not like that but it did certainly scare me. Especially cause she had found me like that. I knew vaguely that she had a home but I never tried to reach out. And then I met you."
Ethan smiled and took Liane's hand, just admiring her face as she lay there.
"You with your firey temper, the way you almost slapped me on your lawn after I arrived that first day, how your stare looked like it would make me burst into flames if I looked directly at it. And it all made sense. Why this girl, my little girl had come all that way to find me. She wanted me to meet you. To...connect with you. Because she loves you so much that she knew even if she could do it alone, she shouldn't.
"You spent years rearing this kid like your own, teaching her self-respect, giving her unerring confidence, letting her speak her mind, allowing her the freedom to express herself however she wants and now she's the best thing ever. I used to think parenthood was like jail.
"Bad comparison I know but I knew what that was. Servitude, solitude, nothing but pushback and obstacles as you try to get your freedom. Living off rations just to keep your kid afloat. Drowning in debt and knowing that you'll be so broken when it's over but accepting it as part of life. But it's not.
"You made me see parenthood is...like a garden. It won't grow if you don't feed and nurture it, it can be hard to tame but it's all the more beautiful when you let it run wild, if you prune too often it becomes too linear, too perfect. But as long as you feed and water it, give it sunshine, attention, love and care it will be so beautiful and become so beneficial to the insects and wildlife.
"Belladonna is not a perfect kid but she's brilliant. She's book smart and street smart which she did not get from me, she's intelligent and thoughtful, she's got the best emotional regulation I have ever seen and she's so glad you are her mom. And I would be honoured to raise her by your side. I've never believed in magic and miracles but if Bella believes it will save your life, then maybe I'll give it a try."
Ethan leaned in towards Liane's face and very carefully kissed her on the cheek, her skin feeling like a soft pillow and the warmth from her face hitting his. Almost instantly a huge spark of power began radiating from where Ethan stood, spreading through the town as Ethan took and step back, his mind suddenly flooding back to him.
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Ethan Lensherr, The Ace of Hearts. Champion for Wonderland. His sister, The Mad Hatter. His brother, Rumplestiltskin. His father Erik, The Knave of Hearts. And his beautiful Liane, The love of his life, The Dark Fairy. Had awoken from her slumber.
Liane opened her eyes and looked up to see her beloved Ethan standing by her bed smiling. She pulled off her breathing mask and flung her arms around him in tears, holding him close as she kissed him passionately. She had found him, and he had found her. The doors swung open as Mia, or rather Snow White, came rushing inside with Cassandra at her side and Belladonna.
"Snow?"
"Mal!" The two embraced after Ethan let his wife go, remembering all these people. Cassie also came in for a hug as Belladonna watched, pleased.
"Since when did you get a haircut, Goldie?"
"It wasn't my choice, trust me." Cassie insisted, smiling and laughing. They all stepped back to let Bella through who ran into her mother's arms tearfully, grabbing her tight as they embraced.
"I told you so.. " she whispered in the hug as Liane just laughed and sat up. Then she felt that pain again. The pain where her wings were supposed to be. Snow handed her a staff to help her stand.
"Rumple left it here if you can believe that. Found it in the supply closet of all places."
"Is it still magic? Am I still magic?"
"No one knows yet. But everyone's waking up. Wait- Nikolai!" Snow tugged off her white coat and ran out of the hospital to go and find Charming as the others laughed.
But Liane stayed stoic, remembering at least who caused them all to be stuck here.
"Alexander.."
"Babe don't worry we'll get your wings back."
"Not just my wings. I want him DEAD!" Her eyes flashed bright purple, that fire back in her eyes as she stood up. He was going to pay for his actions. A flame of lavender fire formed in her palm as Ethan caught her arm.
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"Where are you going?"
"To kill the Mayor."
Thats a wrap for now folks! It's been fun and it's gotten me to rewatch OUAT so I guess that's a good thing? Thanks to @jackiequick for reigniting my love of fantasy fanfic writing, thank you @gcthvile for always giving my OCs someone to love, and love to my moots @blueboirick @cherrysft @rooster-84 for the support.
Next fanfic series might be a bit more upbeat, a little cheesy and slightly more musical? It will be hinted at in the next post that appears on this page. Hope you've enjoyed!
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itsagentromanoff · 1 year
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[Steve walks in on Tony, Bruce, Bucky and Clint lighting up]
Steve: Why is it, every time I leave the room, you guys do this?
Tony: It's Thanksgiving. Some people bake pies, we bake ourselves.
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and-so-he-rambled · 2 years
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Current Martinez headcannons
(I’ll keep updating these as I remember/ think of them)
- He’s good with kids, freaky good. He was a softness to his voice and three younger siblings, and now has a ton of nieces and nephews.
- He can cook! He mostly cooks the dishes his mama taught him, but he tried to learn others. They never turn out like his traditional cooking however and he can only really cook about six dishes properly. They’re amazing dishes, but he struggles learning new recipes.
- He loves animals. Much like with kids he sees them as eternally innocent and to be protected. He pets every animal he can and carries treats. He will punch an animal abuser. He’s been bitten many times by strays and his local walk in knows him by name.
- He definitely volunteered after the flood to help rebuild. The physical stuff was easy, but fishing the dead out was something that still keeps him up at night. He’d seen the dead many times, killed a man during a shootout and shot plenty more, but the flood deaths were a special horror, especially the ones it took a week to find. (He feels a slight guilt for not mentioning the tucker earlier, since he had known it immediately even if he didn’t know the significance.)
- He stayed in temp housing because he let his extended family stay in his apartment. His cousin had too many kids to deal with the stress of shelters, so he decides to deal with them until his cousin can go back home.
- Martinez was a wild child growing up. He was largely unmanaged and always wanted to be heard, which meant causing trouble. It was little things, but he was escalating slowly before he eventually realized the path he was on. His brother was a career criminal and currently serving, he didn’t want to end up like that.
- He had a cop in his life that he respected, and he works every day to emulate that man in his job. Officer Bradshaw, an older cop who cared about the community and had an awesome mustache.
- He didn’t have a father growing up, just a stepdad who he didn’t quite connect with. (His oldest two brothers shared a dad, he and his older sister and younger brother shared a dad, and then the youngest two were that man’s kids.)
- He is genuinely a ray of sunshine, but he also is a very empathetic man. People being hurt makes him hurt, and he hates criminals whose only purpose is to cause pain. He can’t understand that mindset in the slightest, who anyone could just cause misery and enjoy it.
- My man’s would try and throw hands with supervillains regularly.
- Batman is sick of it but it’s always to try and save a life and he knows Martinez is going to keep doing it. He gives him a transmitter and makes him promise to press it before trying to fight another villains. He does, most of the time.
- Martinez can and will verbally castrate. He has the tongue and rage of an angry Latino grandmother and the sass of a teenager. It’s gotten him shot once, Gordon is so tired of this shit.
- The station loves him? He’s a good man and they know it, and he brings in food sometimes. He’s a ray of sunshine and while they regularly tease him and yank his chain, anyone who hurts Martinez will not have a fun time at the station. Martinez is completely unaware of this favoritism.
- His name is Daniel Antonio Montoya Martinez.
- His father was Italian, so he’s half Latino half Italian, but his father sucked and he doesn’t embrace that side of his culture.
- He’s one of those figures that everyone in the community has a story about. “He helped me plant my garden.” “He walked my dog while I was sick.” “He baked cookies for my charity fundraiser.” It baffles Bruce.
- He’s far from perfect. He can be an asshole but he has a big heart, he loves his city. He’d be completely willing to throw down with Batman if it meant protecting the city, even though he’s a tiny bit relived he won’t have to.
- I feel like he has piercings. Daniel had a club phase, and still loves the atmosphere though he mostly is too busy now. I say a belly button piercing, twin surface hip piercings, and maybe a nipple piercing. He wears a retainer for the stomach and hasn’t had the nipple piercing since his late teens. He considers it a fond memory and Bruce chokes on his coffee when he first hears about it.
- He has a sleeve, mostly to cover up the dumb ass tattoos he got as a teen.
- Daniel is a lonely man, so he focuses on the people around him.
- He had an older sister named Katie, she died when he was fifteen. She had been stabbed in a mugging gone wrong and died of sepsis in the hospital a week later. She was sixteen. It broke his family and their faith in Gotham.
- Each year all the siblings pool money to donate in her name to the hospital she died in, specifically their maternity ward. She loved babies, always wanted a ton of them. Mama says she watches over them all now. The hospital established the Katie Martinez fund after the third donation, gave Katie a plaque.
- He understands why his family hates the city, but he can’t leave. He knows there’s more Katie’s out there, more scared kids who need an authority figure to care for them.
- After telling Bruce this story there’s an anonymous donation to the Katie Martinez fund. Daniel is embarrassed but thankful, it’s a sweet gesture and he definitely doesn’t cry shut up.
- Bruce donated to all the charities Daniel gushes to him about. He is involved in a surprising amount. Daniel knows and is careful to choose lesser known charities to talk about that need the funding.
- He knows Selena. She volunteers at the shelter he helps out at. He thinks there something shifty about her and they argue about cats vs dogs funding constantly. (He thinks that the canine program needs more funding because they are bigger animals who have more needs, Selena thinks the feline program needs more because they are higher maintenance and tend to stay longer)
- He loves hearing Bruce’s stories and Bruce is always very interested in his. He shows him each tattoo, what they cover up and why he got them, tells stories of clubs and the hubris of youth.
- Bruce’s stories are more violent and sad, and instead of tattoos he had scars, so many more than Daniel. He maps them all out and learned their stories, pays special attention to the ones in dangerous places because they were so close and it hurts to think too much. He knows there will be more for both of them, they both know, and every day they return to each other in one piece is a good day.
——
@waynebat @wixiany @1n-bl0om I blame you three fuckers for this hyperfixation. I already have three fic drafts and I only watched the movie two days ago.
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bittybattyboo · 11 months
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I'm hoarding way too many Batman AUs.
Anyway Batman being like Gordon Ramsay led to me discussing a Cooking Show AU with my partner in crime @weimitsu. So here what came out of that.
For some reason, instead of fighting crime, the members of the Justice League are famous chefs. 
Wayne Bakery is a famous house in Gotham and Bruce is a very skilled baker. He makes high-quality cakes. He has a special interest in making hyper-realistic cakes as well (you know, the thing that makes you doubt that the world isn’t cake).
Clark is his best friend obviously and they work together sometimes. But Clark has a terrible sense of taste. One time he ate a real calculator instead of Bruce’s fake one and still found it delicious (that’s when Bruce found out about it as well…).
Clark is still a famous baker because of his sunny personality, he is especially popular with moms and aunties. Very charismatic and expert in hearty dishes he learned from his Ma.
Clark wrote a book about pies one day especially to force Bruce to sit in his home and eat all the pies. 
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Bruce also made a guest pie in the book. (Bat themed with a chocolate crust, but still beginner-friendly for Clark’s audience)
One day, Bruce and Hal Jordan were the hosts of a cooking show (Great British Bakeoff style) and everyone fell in love with their dynamic and banters. They have “Most famous batlantern chefs moments compilations” on YTube.
As they were popular with the audience, they started having other emissions together to play on their duo. On one of their emissions, they had to exchange their best friends (Barry and Clark) as partners. It worked super well between Barry and Bruce and now Bruce thinks of replacing Clark permanently (/hj).
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Other trivia about Bruce. He started with Alfred’s recipes and is very knowledgeable about British desserts.
Yes Bruce has high-quality cakes in his bakery because he loves the challenge but he is also good for beginners. He should have a cooking with kids show.
And he goes baking for all the charities in Gotham.
There's a program in Arkham to rehabilitate inmates by giving them an apprenticeship at Wayne's Bakery. Bane did especially good and is famous for making the world's biggest Pan De Muerto bread.
Anyway, I think it’s a very fun and wholesome AU.
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bulkyphrase · 1 year
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American Pi: a Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers rec list
A few of my favorite stories from a criminally underrated ship. Or two ships I guess, if you consider Bruce and the Hulk to be different people.
Methodology by throttlegainwell (@throttlegainwell) (Hulk/Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 4,508 words)
Summary: The goal was simply to see what this new Hulk could safely do, what might affect his new state of mind, and—okay, whether it was even possible to fit his comically huge penis in anything short of an industrial-sized artificial orifice. Exactly what it says on the tin. Bruce asks Steve to help him test his new limits.
One More Night by onward_came_the_meteors (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, General Audiences, 8,339 words)
Summary: After the events of Ragnarok, Bruce returns to Earth, but instead of landing in the Sanctum Sanctorum, he ends up finding the former Avengers... including a former captain. Turns out a lot has changed in two years, but maybe that change can be for the better.
i'd like to check out your card catalogue, if you know what i mean by weatheredlaw (@weatheredlaw) (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 2,242 words)
Summary: Bruce and Steve are starting a book club -- or they would, if they could stop making out every time they're alone together.
Incognito by Trumpeteer34 (@trumpeteer34) (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, General Audiences, 7,114 words)
Summary: From the kinkmeme: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/16524.html?thread=37295244#t37295244 After the battle in New York, there's a renewed flood of public interest in Captain America. Steve's OK doing some publicity here and there, but not really comfortable at all being a "dancing monkey" all the time. Sometimes he'd like to be anonymous again, able to just walk down the street and blend in. He turns to Bruce, who has years of experience blending into a crowd. Bruce helps Steve "schlub up" and teaches him some tricks for not standing out. They start going out into the city together to test it out, and as they do, they end up having a really good time together. Enough that they keep doing "test runs" that start to feel suspiciously more and more like "dates"... eventually Bruce/Steve ensues.
Of Rocky Beaches and Painted Dreams by shaolin103 (Hulk/Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Mature, 8,605 words)
Summary: Hulk gets the guy first, or so it seems.
To Taste by felinefelicitations (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 15,617 words)
Summary: It isn't that Bruce does not like Steve (quite the opposite). It's that Bruce very much can't have Steve, not the way he would like. After all, Steve is Captain America, and Captain America is a paragon of command and control. In other words, not submissive. (Or how Bruce is sometimes the least observant scientist in the world, Steve is shyly in love and tells this to Bruce with food, and the team mostly just wants to make sure their supply of baked goods doesn't dry up.)
every bell that tolls me by thingswithwings (Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 19,899 words)
Summary: Bruce Banner, practical masochist. Or: Bruce gets a dom and a boyfriend, but they're not the same person
Worth It by snack_size (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 15,844 words)
Summary: “Let’s recap,” Tony said, handing the blow torch he had been using to Bruce. “Recap what?” Bruce asked - they had just been talking about particle physics, and it certainly wasn’t something either of them needed reminder of. “You’ve gone to the museum, you’ve gone for Indian food, you went to see a movie, and what was it yesterday?” Bruce swallowed, glad that Tony wasn’t facing him and was, instead, using a wrench on the latest version of the suit. “Ugh-” “Oh, that’s right, you went to a concert,” Tony said, almost casually, and Bruce sighed. “It was free,” he tried. Bruce likes Steve, and, as it turns out, Steve likes Bruce - but it's all very awkward, and they agree to take it slow.
Heavy Ordnance by Not_You (Hulk/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 2,609 words)
Note: This is part 6 in a OT6 series. I recommend reading all of them because they're great, but this one can be read alone.
Summary: Hulk is a lot to deal with, even for a Super Soldier.
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hawksonfire · 2 years
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Winterhawk, 40 "Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?", please 🤍
Clint's been trying to make Bucky laugh since the day he arrived in the Tower. Some of the stupidest shit he's ever done has been to achieve this goal, but it hasn't worked yet/
He's done everything from whipped cream pies to Steve's face to dying Tony's hair shampoo green to shitty knock-knock jokes left outside Bucky's door. Nothing seems to work; he hasn't seen a single smile cross that smouldering face.
"You are hopeless," Natasha says to him one day, after a particularly stupid prank—it involved glitter and cut-outs of Steve in the suit.
"I just want him to laugh, Tash," Clint says. "Just once, I would like to see him happy."
"Have you tried actually talking to him?" She asks, lifting an eyebrow.
"I told him knock-knock jokes," Clint says.
"That's not talking to him," Nat says, shaking her head. "That's telling him jokes. Put down the whoopee cushion and try actually having a conversation with him, Clint."
Clint pouts, but hands her the whoopee cushion. "Still use that on Sam," he says as he walks away to go find Bucky. He eventually finds him in the kitchen, watching Bruce bake. "Hiya Bucko, how's it hangin'?"
Bucky snorts. "You finally give up on getting me to smile?" He asks, a smile playing at his lips.
Clint stares at him. "Have I entered an alternate dimension?" He asks. "Or did you just finally crack a smile for me? Natasha was right."
"She usually is," Bucky agrees. "Now sit down. I hear you've got some pretty terrible jokes, and I want to hear them."
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mindshelter · 2 years
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Tim on Reddit? HOCKEY AU??? 👀👀👀👀
ohhh double feature!
excerpt from "tim on reddit":
r/AmItheAsshole
posted by carsex89
I [15M] called my dad [39M] a child. AITA?
147 Comments sorted by ↑ Top
ringringringalldaylong • 5 hr. ago
100% NTA. Your dad is a sexist piece of work, and you should feel good about defending your stepmom and letting your dad know exactly how immature he’s being. His last wife must feel good to be rid of him; he clearly didn’t learn his lesson after ruining his other marriage.
I’m sorry you have to deal with him.
carsex89 • 4 hr. ago
Oh my mom’s dead lol
ringringringalldaylong • 4 hr. ago
holy shit my bad
carsex89 • 4 hr. ago
Haha nbd
next, some context for hockey au first: it's heavily based on the check please! webcomic! tim takes up the role of one of the leads, jack zimmermann, who overdoses on anxiety medication as a teenager after cracking from all the pressure of being a young celebrity athlete. he's booted from the NHL draft as a result, and after some time in rehab, heads to college to play at the collegiate level instead while he gathers his bearings. there, he meets kon (eric bittle, for the people who have read the comics). they don't get along at first— kon thinks tim has a (hockey) stick stuck up his ass and tim needs kon to stop baking pies and giving them to teammates— it's counterproductive, and he'd like it if his players actually focused on winning.
now, the excerpt:
“—all for hockey. All over a fucking game,” Jason hisses, chest heaving. “Your game.”
Jason’s fingers twitch by his hip.
Tim adores hockey. My son loves hockey, Bruce wants to say. His cheek stings; his pulse there is electric. It aches more than any puck in the face he’s ever taken. Nobody forced him to play competitively. He chose this.
It’s hollow. It sounds weak. It sounds like an excuse.
They’re on the ground floor of a secure stairway leading up to Tim’s room; Bruce had gone downstairs to let Jason inside without being noticed by any ambitious photojournalists. They’d climbed up to the second floor in complete silence, and then Jason began to yell.
“This isn’t about—”
“Oh, fuck you,” Jason says, venomous. Bruce grimaces, but keeps his mouth shut. He deserves this. “Look me in the eye, Bruce, and tell me you had nothing to do with this.”
Bruce can’t.
“This is why—I never understood it. What the big deal was. You didn’t have tell Tim he had to play hockey or else, be perfect or else because everyone else was doing it for you,” Jason says. “And you didn’t do enough to shut them down. You let them talk about Tim like he was just some sort of thing. Talk about him like they owned him.”
The media expected a hockey machine, and they got a person instead.
“I know,” Bruce finally says.
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zorilleerrant · 2 years
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Bruce: Jason, why would you help the Joker?
Jason: I didn’t help him, we were just doing a skit together. It’s fine.
Bruce: You helped him do a skit!
Jason: I mean. That feels different.
Bruce: Diff- how does that feel different???
Jason: Look, I was going to kill him, but you don’t get it! He’s changed now! He’s a dad! And not even a shitty dad - he cares about his kids! He joined the fucking PTA! He’s helping out at their school; you never did that.
Bruce: I know he joined the fucking PTA, I’m about to fucking kill him over it, do you have any idea what he did?
Jason: Besides... murder me...?
Bruce: Do you know what he’s trying to sell at the bake sale, Jason??
Jason: Judging from your reaction, I’m going to go with... either pot brownies, or like. Bombs, probably.
Bruce: Coconut cream pies.
Jason: ???
Bruce: He said, and I quote, ‘it would be funny’. Funny! I can’t believe he’s doing this to Damian. I can’t imagine anything worse.
Jason: To do to... your son....
Bruce: You were Robin, Jason, that’s a totally different thing. Murdering superheroes doesn’t count. If he’d killed you in your civilian persona I totally would’ve shot him in the face.
Jason: Uh-huh. What happened to Batman Doesn’t Kill?
Bruce: What? Of course Batman doesn’t kill people. Brucie Wayne doesn’t have anything like that kind of code. Be reasonable.
Jason: Over coconut cream pies???
Bruce: They’re disgusting!
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sparkypantaloons · 2 years
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Roses
Tim remembers how much he used to love Wayne Manor. Then Damian arrived and everything changed.
A @jaynotwayne prompt on the Batfam Shenanigans server.
Tim remembers when he used to love Wayne Manor. Those all too brief golden days, when he had been Dick's only brother. When Bruce had come back from the edge and when Alfred would make them all fajitas on a Friday night before patrol.
He remembers climbing into his bed in winter, bones aching with cold after a long night on the city rooftops, only to find Alfred had already put hot water bottles between his sheets.
He remembers Christmases and Hannukahs, mulled wine and minced pies and latkes and lights everywhere. The four of them in ridiculous knitted jumpers and paper crowns. Their home filled with laughter and music and life, so unlike the soulless corridors of previous years.
He remembers long, warm summers, roses blooming below his window and long, hard nights, a comforting presence reading beside him as he worked.
He remembers when he first moved in to the Manor. Remember's keeping himself to himself because that's what you did at home, right? Only to have Alfred or Dick seek him out and the three of them playing gin rummy on rainy afternoons.
He remembers cool hands on warm skin when he was sick. Warm words for a cold heart when he was sad. And more love than he'd ever thought he could know.
And then Damian had arrived. And now it was all gone.
Rationally, he knows it's not Damian's fault. Knows that the kid has had a worse upbringing than all of them, except maybe Cass. Knows that Damian had just as much right to Alfred and Bruce and Dick as Tim did.
Logically, he knows that. But logically, everything in Tim's life got a whole lot worse when Damian came along too.
It took him time, but slowly Tim came to accept Damian taking Robin and Dick with it. Could accept him taking Tim's place as Bruce's youngest son. Could accept the way the kid chipped away at Tim's self worth, taking just a little piece with every snarled comment, even if it was just insecurity that drove it. Because the rational part of Tim's brain knows that Damian is just a scared little kid. That he needs love and understanding as much as any of them have. Any of them do.
And that rational part of Tim's brain knows too, that all things change. That everyone must die, at least once, especially in this family. And that the world will keep on turning regardless of how an eternity of grief can exist in every second.
So Tim knows, he knows, that Alfred would have died, one day.
And he knows that all Robin's have defied orders. Have tried their luck and lost.
He knows, rationally, logically, that Damian isn't to blame.
But as he walks through the Manor halls, colder now than they've ever been, quieter without the BBC World Service on the radio, stiller with no waft of baking in the air, Tim doesn't feel very rational.
He feels torn up and cast into the wind. Wisps of the man he once was, lost in a gale of grief.
Damian is at the grave. And Tim feels the last shred of himself blown into the distance. Damian has taken this too. This moment that Tim has been aching for since the funeral. Just he and Alfred and his memories.
Damian doesn't look up when Tim approaches. Doesn't scowl either. Just stares dead ahead at the tombstone. Face hard, eyes dry.
They stand in silence. Grey skies overhead, as they stand over the grave of all the colour they once had in their lives.
Damian speaks first. "Sometimes I wish it had been me." He says.
Tim doesn't look at him. "Sometimes I wish it had been you too."
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annachum · 13 days
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What some of the Avengers may make for dinner for the rest of Avengers in tow ( an example ) :
. Tony : Definitely Pasta Al Ragu ( of any pasta that goes well with the Ragu which turns out to be a Carbonelli household recipe ), Antipasto Salad, and also Baked Apples and Pears stuffed with Nuts and raisins
. Pepper : Tomato Soup, Roast Beef with Mashed Potatoes, Gravy and Root Vegetables, and also Gooseberry crumble
. Steve : Apple Pie, Grilled Salmon with Lemon Butter and Mashed Potatoes, and Creamy Mushroom Soup
. Thor : Smorgasbord, Stuffed Roast Whole Tuna, and also Pumpkin Hand Pies, and Mead
. Natasha : Solyanka ( a Russian spicy fish soup ), Black Rye Bread with Goat Cream Cheese, and Bite Sized Syrniki ( a type of Russian cheesecake )
. Sam Wilson : Jambalaya, Crawfish Hand Pie, and Beignets with Fruit Jam
. Bucky : Sarmale ( Romanian Cabbage Rolls ), Bean and Oxtail stew in Bread Bowl, and Miniciunele
. Bruce : Chicken Pot Pie, Roasted Root Vegetables, and Chocolate Ice Cream
. Wanda : Romani Chicken Stew, Challah Bread, and Sticky Rice Pudding
. Vision : Scottish Beef Stew, Roasted Baby Carrots, and English Summer Pudding
. Rhodey : Grits and Shrimp, Tomato and Salmon Soup, and Peach Cobbler
. Clint : Gratin Dauphinoise, Roast Lamb Chops with Mint Sauce, and Pear Crumble
. Laura Vlahos - Barton : Stuffed Grape Leaves, Greek Lamb Stew with Feta and Mint, and Cheese and Fruit platter with Honey
Bonus : Some of the New Avengers ( both possible and confirmed )
. Shang Chi : Hong Shao Rou, Cabbage and Chilli Stir Fry, Rice, and also Green Bean Soup ( a type of Chinese dessert )
. Yelena : Pierogi, Ukrainian Beef and Potato Stew, and Khrustyky ( a type of Ukrainian fried cookies )
. Kate Bishop : Steak Frites, Ratatouille, and Blueberry Cobbler
. Marc Spector : Estofado ( a Guatemalan Pork stew ), Arepas and also Fruit Platter
. Layla : Koshari, Egyptian Stuffed Vegetables, and Zalaiba ( Egyptian Honey balls )
. Shuri : Wakandan Jollof Rice, River Tribe Fried Plaintains, and Chocolate Ice Cream
. Leiko Wu : Manchurian Pickled Cabbage and Pork Belly Stew, Steamed Vegetable Dumplings and Red Dates stuffed with Nuts
. Dr Strange : Nepali Vegetable Stew ( he was in Nepal for a whole year, come on now ), Nepali Lamb Pulao, and also Sheep's Milk Ice Cream
. Hercules : Roast Leg of Lamb, Greek Mezze platter ( with olives, pickles and cheese ), Greek Lemon Rice, and Baklava
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bailesona · 1 year
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TIME TO TELL U WHAT EACH MUSE DRESSES UP AS:
stanley:     he dresses up as shrek, and has spent literal decades of his marriage with richard trying to convince him to dress up as fiona or donkey to match with him.
richard:     this year he’s dressing up as the hulk. past halloween outings have seen him dress up as gandalf (when stanley described fiona as having long hair) anger from inside out (when stanley described fiona as being a redhead) daredevil (when stanley described fiona’s ass-kicking techniques) and leia from star wars (when stanley described fiona as being a princess with great authority and agency).
sammy:     sammy’s going for a pirate vibe this year. aisling has had to take three bottles of rum, a cutlass and five tobacco pipes off of him so far, but has yet to discover that the hook over his right hand is not plastic nor fake.
leo:     elizabeth swann. he’s taking great delight in rocking a corset and historically accurate dress, and even spent five hours in a hair salon getting his hair done in ringlets. and he looks FANTASTIC--
renée:     katniss everdeen. a special jar has been dedicated to receive five dollars every time someone asks if she’s hawkeye. so far, it contains $475 dollars. she intends to take everyone out for dinner once the shift is over.
henri:     mary berry. he lost a bet with etienne, and now he has to take a shot every time someone mentions a soggy bottom. but he’s rocking the lemon yellow sweater and pearl necklace like a true king.
etienne:     thor. tina helped him get a red blanket to look like his cloak, and several pie plates as the armor. he takes great delight in serving baskets of lightning fries. nobody else is allowed to serve them. only etienne.
nate:     he insists he isn’t dressing up, but with the striped sweater and red hat, he’s wally from “where’s wally”. he doesn’t want to be. but he is. 
ramsay gordon (NEW MUSE!):     he’s wearing black trousers and a black sweater, and grudgingly allows tina and tim to paint a white skeleton over him in indelible white paint on his designer clothes. he’s mildly annoyed until he sees henri. then he feels infinitely happier with his sentence.
and now for the foster kids!
tina:     doctor strange, but it’s like, medical student strange. so she’s got the cloak, but she’s put wires in the hem of it so that it’s holding a can of red bull and a burrito, and she’s got a pen behind her ear and five different notebooks under her arm. she’s absolutely loving it. as she should.
tim:     a vampire. but after a few twilight jokes and exactly zero references to what we do in the shadows, he just sits in the kitchen and chats with mary “henri” berry while he bakes pumpkin pies for the halloween party.
eli:     after a lengthy discussion with tina, he follows in a similar vein. batman, but if batman/bruce wayne hadn’t been a billionaire. he goes around on a scooter that he made black with duct tape, the bat ears are two pairs of socks stuck on with tape to a ski-mask, and his cloak is a black towel over an old sweater belonging to stanley and some black yoga pants he borrowed from aisling.
victor:     poison ivy. he has so much fun with it, too, like he uses real vines and plants and attaches them carefully to his green t-shirt and chinos, and he even gets green contact lenses, like he goes all out for it.
andrew jenkins (NEW MUSE!):     andrew dresses as a bat, using a broken umbrella to make the wings. some say he should’ve dressed as kaz bre.kker from the grishaverse books, but he doesn’t see it.
carrie white (NEW MUSE!):     she’s going as bob ross, bc i feel like painting is gonna be her therapeutic activity and like, lbr, aisling loves watching the bob ross videos, and she definitely gets carrie into them too.
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superblizzardfire · 4 years
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Ch3: The Pie of Sauron
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Bruce has always loved cooking. Some of his earliest memories are of helping his mom in the kitchen: peeling and washing and rolling out dough. They’d chatter in Italian, which is where she grew up, and by the time he was eight he knew all of her recipes.
He somewhat lost the habit between foster homes and college. But on the run, that skill came in handy. He often couldn’t pay people with money, so in exchange for food and shelter he would cook or tend to their animals or whatever needed doing around the house. So many evenings spent sharing food and stories with strangers. Little bright moments amongst the dark days.
‘I seem to know everyone’s preferences except for yours, Doctor,’ says JARVIS as the song finishes.
‘Well, I’ve always been a sucker for blondes.’ Bruce smirks as he throws the apple pie in the oven and starts cracking eggs into a bowl.
‘I was referring to your food preferences.’ The accompanying eye-roll is almost audible. ‘You seldom express an opinion unless prompted.’
It’s true; Bruce is perfectly happy to eat whatever Tony orders in. No such thing as too spicy or too exotic. ‘Okay, take a guess. What’s my favourite food?’
JARVIS considers this. ‘You are well-travelled, so I assume you have sampled dishes from all over the world. I would hazard a guess at some form of Indian food, since you appeared to live there for the longest.’
‘You make me sound so cultured.’
‘Am I getting warm?’
He grins apologetically. ‘Nope. Once Italian, always Italian. It’d probably be something like lasagne. Although, on the dessert front… I ate a lot of kulfi when I was over there. Especially pistachio flavour.’ Like ice cream but denser, it had helped to stave off the heat. He feels a pang of something akin to homesickness. Maybe he’ll try making it sometime.
‘I shall bear that in mind.’
Bruce bakes for hours, occasionally throwing a comment to JARVIS as he works. It feels good to just make something. For only six people it seems excessive, but he’s seen Clint eat three spare pizzas on his own and Steve’s metabolism is a force of nature. Plus, they all have different tastes and he wants to satisfy everyone.
It’s dark outside when he takes the final pie out of the oven. He clears up, eats a quick sandwich, takes a hot shower then crawls into bed. ‘Long day tomorrow. Don’t stay up too late.’
‘I promise to be in bed by midnight.’
He laughs. JARVIS has a sense of humour that’s almost as dry as his own. Almost. ‘See you tomorrow.’
‘I look forward to working with you, Doctor. Goodnight.’
Read the rest on AO3!
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